#anyway maybe ignore this one im rambling about nothing here

[quietwingsinthesky]

the last unicorn post from earlier has me thinking about the master. that yana is still in there, you know? is still someone he was, if even for a brief flash across the life of a time lord. there’s no way to unlive that life. there are ways to twist it later, sure, to make utopia into hell on earth. but the life was lived. in much the same way that the doctor can remember, can feel, the love he held onto as john smith even as that life is ripped out of his hands. the doctor choose denial and then grief and then to shutter it all away. and so john smith died, and so professor yana died, and the doctor and the master live on. the doctor has done this before, and he lives in orbit around humanity, trying to keep the best parts of them and hold them deep enough to take root (which he can pretend he gets to choose, as a time lord. as a human, it all floods in and can’t be dug back out.) but what about the master, right?

to borrow a turn of phrase: i think there are two time lords left in the universe, and they both learned how to regret.

#regret here meaning less feeling the emotion of actual regret obviously because time lords do not actually funxtion on unicorn rules. they #already get sad just fine on their own. no humanity needed for that. #but i dont know. i just dont think he brushed it off so easily. i think he did a hell of a job convincing himself he did. #and what better way then to twist his own great works and destroy the species he was working so hard to save at the end of the universe. #but what about the knowledge that he *could* be that person. that somewhere in him exists a version that wanted to save people. #a version that is painfully too much like the doctor. even. now is that part worse or better than the human part? #but if past regenerations are ghosts i think yana deserves a haunt. #anyway maybe ignore this one im rambling about nothing here #theres just. i dont know. what if you were the last of your kind and in surviving you made yourself Not Like Them in a way you’ll never #escape. #i mean doctor who is just so concerned with all these plots about hybrids and children of the tardis and clones and What Makes A Time Lord. #but they’re so obsessed with it in just. a very Lore way. is what it feels like. we get brushes of more like with jenny and how she’s #physically a time lord and the doctor denies her that inheritance. a shared suffering… #but me myself im just fascinated with the doctor and the master as the time lords who survived. but they survived Wrong #its. its. children of gallifrey that don’t belong to her anymore. you know? #i dont care if river’s got time lord dna!!! or the metacrisis is physically human!!! i dont care!!! talk to me about what it means beyond #their blood and bones!!! what’s it like to have your sense of self stripped from you like that!!! #what’s it like when so much of you is the shed skin of time lords past. but one of you was human. one of you was painfully *humiliatingly* #human!!! #enough about how much dna you need to count as a time lord. i want to know how much they can mutate until they can’t be recognized as one. #does that make sense?

[wannabelife]

telepathy – myg

paring: yoongi x afab reader

genre: smut

warnings: phone sex, fingering, handjob, descriptive, multiple orgasms, dirty talk

a/n: i missed yoongi on stage so muuuch!! like wdym tour ended?? :((( did u all watch the final?? also, i cant believe he's already leaving :((((( here's a lil something to help us cope :)

and there you are again, screen in front of you while agust d performs live but far away from you. you dont really know why you summit yourself to this. you could just ignore it and go to bed, but you can't.

since tour, yoongi and you can not always call each other, because of schedule, work but especially timezones. being away for quite some time just makes you a bit more needy than usual. also, the way he's sweating on stage, hip thrusting to nothing, growling, and working his hands on the guitar doesn't help at all.

you decide to shut the computer screen since this lack of attention is getting you frustrated. there's nothing more you can do.

a hour fly by of you trying to sleep, but your mind just can't seem to leave you alone today. you turn around on the bed to light the lamp on your nightstand as you grab your phone, checking the time, it is already past midnight. you know yoongi's concert had already finished around this time. you stare at your phone contemplating if you should call him or not.

maybe you should, whats the real bad in that? at least, you could try. you disk the numbers and wait for an answer on speaker.

"hello" yoongi's voice echoes in the room, sounding lower and raspier than usual because of all the singing and shouting on stage. you cant put a finger on it but at the moment it hits your ears, you feel your stomach tingles.

"hi, its me" you reply hating that you sound weak.

"i know its you" he let out a giggle and you can sense he's smiling "how are you?"

"im fine, what about you? was the show tiring today? you looked excited"

"i dont really feel it since im just happy to be on stage" you nod at his words even tho he cant really see you. after a small time of silence, he adds "were you watching?"

"what? your show? of course i was"

"what do you think?"

"what do you mean what i think?" you laugh a little because why would it matter "i like it... i like it a lot... its quite frustrating tho, just watching, not able to act— hm, act on... i mean, its nice, i like it a lot"

you can hear him laughing out loud on the other side while you just want to hang up on him and ignore everything. why would you ramble and stutter like that? there's no real reason for it.

"act on what? you didnt finish"

"i cant really come up what i was going to say"

"i know you are lying, yn. just go ahead and say it what you were thinking. act on what?"

"act on... my thoughts"

"and what is it that you imagine?"

"why does it matter anyways? they are just thoughts"

"why cant you just say you miss me? aren't you enough needy to ask for me?" you blush at his straightforwardness, not so unusual but always surprising.

"i am. i am needy for you, yoongi. i miss you so much. i want you but cant have you right now, and its so fucking frustrating" you groan more to yourself but that affects him too.

"tell me what is it that you miss so much, maybe i can help"

"your touch, yoongi. your perfect mouth on me"

he inhales after hearing you, his cock threatening to get hard at just the thought of it. the thought of you. he misses your touch too, the way you suck him like no one else does, the way you know all his right spots. the pretty sounds you make when he's on you and the way you two can go from raw and needy to passionate and slow. he misses having multiple rounds with you.

"does my slut miss it that much?"

you whine at the possessiveness in his voice, its true, you're his little slut after all.

"come on, bring the toy i bought you to your side. let me help my baby cum"

you hate how excited you feel at his words, jumping out of bed in one montion to do what he asked you, taking all of your clothes off in your way back, staying spreed naked for him even tho he cant see you.

"im already naked for you"

"how needy" he smirks to himself "send me a picture just to make sure you're right for me"

you open the camera on your chat room with him, making sure to open your pussy with your two middle fingers so he can see it perfectly. as you send it, you can hear the notification ring on the other side.

"you look so beautiful. lay down for me" he hears the bed sheets making a sound as you get comfortable and when it dies down, he assumes you're just right to get it started "i need you to suck your fingers for me, understood? when you are done bring them to your beautiful nipples"

you do as he says and after you suck them wet with your saliva, you use it to carass your nipples. your eyes closing at the feeling.

"babe, tell me how many fingers have you sucked?"

"four" as you deliver your answer, he lets out a low moan at the thought of it, he always knew your mouth can take a lot "what you want me to do?"

"keep massaging your pretty titties" you keep going but this is not enough right now, like he heard your thoughts, he speaks again "now pinch your nipples for me" you moan at the amazing feeling hitting you "i miss biting your pretty nipples and getting those moans myself" you cant help your legs closing for some kind of friction, your core begging for attention.

"i need more, yoongi-ah" you whine.

"alright alright, you can touch yourself now, but you cant touch your clit"

you whimper, a bit desperate trying to reach the pleasure he's keeping away from you.

"what's that? are you complaining?"

"no" as you obey him, you bring your finger to your core, teasing your entrance.

"tell me, how wet are you?"

"not much" you slide your finger up and down your bare pussy, not reaching your clit as he asked.

"gotta prepare that tight cunt, right?" you are just able to babble a small hmm as an answer as you start to feel the tension building between your legs "you can get on your clit now since you're doing so good for me, such a good girl"

as you slide again on your folds, you finally get where you need the most. you start drawing circles on your clit in a small motion at first. the wet noises getting louder each stroke as you pick up your pace. feeling like he deserves more too, you get the speakers close to your core so it can capture the wet sounds as you masturbate "can your heart it, yoongi? it's for you, all because of you"

"you're doing so great, my pussy slut, getting me so hard"

you keep moaning, your pussy clenching and as if he was there with you, feeling you himself, he speaks up "can you enter a finger for me?"

"yes– yes, oh my god... thank you, thank you" you enter with your middle finger, going in and out slowly to ajust. as you're fingering yourself, you get your thumb on your clit again doubling the feeling. you add another finger whimpering at the sensation inside you.

you're able to hear yoongi's bealt getting undone "baby, you are doing so good, keep going for me" you hear muffled sounds of movements on the other side of the line as a spitting sound hit your ears. yoongi spits on his hands, getting it to stroke lazily at his hard cock.

"curl your fingers, baby, make yourself cum"

you curl your two middle fingers inside you "its not enough" you grunt.

"i know, i know. my fingers and cock can reach so much more, make you feel so much better" you whimper, not able to stop the moans because you cant have him right now "just keep going, you're doing great" you fasten your fingers, moaning louder when your other hand start to work faster on your clit.

"who's cunt is it?"

"yours, yoongi. only yours"

"that's right. mine. mine tight beautiful cunt, fits me so perfectly" you can start to hear yoongi working on his cock, the sound getting louder, him leaving low gasps every now and then.

"im close" the built on your stomach getting closer to the edge each minute as your head is thrown back and eyes shutting.

"cum for me, yn" and you do. after his command, you let it go. goosebumps spreading all over your body as you mewl.

"get the toy i asked you" his voice sounds out of breath compare to before. your mind going blank, having a hard time to process his words after your high, but you get the sex toy either way. bringing it to life, the buzzing sound being easy to be heard "good girl" he praises you for obeying so nicely everything he asks.

the screen of your phone lights up, and you can see yoongi is facetiming you. you answer fastly, placing it on the desk in front of your bed, so he has a great view of it and you. he's half naked, his cheeks a bit rosy and his hand on his cock. he grazes his thumb on its head, collecting more precum from it as he sighs in relief.

you spread yourself in front of the screen, finally bringing the toy to your clit. feeling sensitive post orgasm, you whine at the slight pain it brings you that it's not bad at all.

"get another finger inside, i know you can take it" you moan and slowly add the third finger inside you, curling it up, making you see stars "fuck, look at me, yn" he pleads.

you do. he's faster on his length as he brings his other hand to caress his balls. yoongi moans audibly now, watching you without blinking, nipples hard, your fingers working on your cunt, and he can see it clenching around them too.

you fight the urge to close your eyes to keep the eye contact, the overstimulation hitting you as you circle the toy on your clit. your legs threatening to close as the built starts again "that's right, my babe is going to give me another one"

"cum with me, yoongi, please" he hears you, swearing at the view, at your words, at the feeling. your body goes stiff for a second, your legs trembling and a whine coming out in high pitch as you are cumming again. the toy leaving your hand hitting the floor with a sound, just the three fingers fighting to prolong your orgasm.

yoongi cant stop staring at your form, your pretty sounds and your eyes rolling back from the pleasure "fuck, im close" he says and you finally start to relax, all the cum dripping from your core weting the mattress as he cant help it anymore. he's coming undone with a moan.

both of you breathing loudly and fast, as your chests goes up and down, waiting for the comedown.

"you are amazing" he sighs.

#yn #bts #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts smut #yoongi fanfic #suga smut #suga fanfic #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts yoongi #min yoongi imagine #yoongi ff #yoongi smut #yoongi scenarios

[mochiwrites]

“The plan has changed. I’ve hired someone to do what you couldn’t do the first time.”

NONONONONONONONONO GRIAN PLEASE GRIAN NO GRIAN PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GRIAN NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONNONONONONONO

THAT TEASER YOU POSTED SOME TIME AGO MAKES THIS SO MUCH WORSE NONONONONONONONONONONONO

He knows what he has to do, what he’s meant to do. It’s the role he’s been cast to play. 

Secret life parallels oh lordy lord. i am SO UNWELL. no. NOOOOOOO. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i legitimately dont have any words. the only way i can properly express how im feeling right now is just AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

He’s not naive and hopeful like Grian is, or as kind as Mumbo can be. He’s selfish and cruel, and his loyalty is fickle. 

this is legitimately one of my favorite parts of scar's character actually. i don't have the brain power to properly analyze this, but something about how honest he is about this is so. augh. this trait is what's ultimately going to be his demise (at least, he thinks so). he'll lose grian and mumbo (possibly through death) because he chooses tubbo over mumbo and grian. he knows and he's not proud of it but it's vital to his survival anyways so he does nothing to fight it.

i dont think i make sense at all and theres a great possibility ive mischaracterized him entirely (it wouldnt be the first time, sadly) but i love it regardless. i love how flawed he is. how flawed they all are. i love how tragic their stories are. grian with his unwavering hope and optimism that gets constantly tested (and possibly crushed at some point) and scar with his insistence to not get close that eventually stabs him in the back and mumbo with his guarded but oh so big heart that he's tentatively given out only to get hurt in some way. please correct me if any of this is wrong, btw, id rather be corrected than live in ignorance of the truth

No amount of rope can pull him out. It’ll snap apart under the weight of his actions, so why try? There’s no real point in it. 

this is why you need a grian, scar. sigh.

He needs to stop being Scar and start being the Grim Reaper. He sucks in a breath, throwing Scar away.

oh this is fantastic because scar cares so deeply for them and would do just about anything to protect them, because as much as he tries not to, scar cares and loves. but that's exactly the problem because he cares for and loves tubbo so much he'd do just about anything to protect him, including sacrificing grian and mumbo. but scar couldn't possibly do that when he cares for them so much. so he weaponizes the grim reaper, who doesn't care for anyone or anything besides getting the job done.

im genuinely just rambling here there's zero coherence to be found in any of this

“We figured we should take advantage of the peace while we can,"

wow youre really just pulling out all the stops to make this hurt as much as possible arent you

But even then… surely it wouldn’t take this long to heal. 

this is SOOOOO CONCERNING are you KIDDING ME???? MUMBO PLEASEEEEEEEEE YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME MAN😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“Maybe we can come back tomorrow earlier.” 

i have you say you are incredible at setting the mood. having an idea of what's about to happen as a third party, watching it all unfold. grian and mumbo being right there and nearly getting to the truth, but not quite getting it because they trust scar. BECAUSE THEY TRUST SCAR!! grum and jrum being there adding to the innocence of it all and amplifying how unsettling scar's actions are. "maybe we can come back tomorrow" when there's not going to BE a tomorrow for them (assuming scar succeeds). it's so tense. it's so anxiety-inducing. it's such an intense sense of foreboding and it has my heart rate genuinely going up. infinite props to you.

He aims for Mumbo’s shoulder.

might be overthinking this but i hate that this implies the possibility that scar informed this assassin with ways to make the killing easier

He grits his teeth as he pulls another glyph from his pocket. He slams it between his hands, vines wrapping up around his arms.

GRIAN'S GLYPHS LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO!! IT'S EVEN COOLER THAN ID IMAGINED HEHE

“Did you get hit at all?” He does a quick scan of the changeling for any injuries.

you're really making this hurt

“Dad!” the two boys cry, the word not registering to any of them in the moment. 

AAAAAAAAAA YOURE GONNA MAKE ME CRY STOP IT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Blood splatters on the ground in thick drops, spilling in the grooves of the cobble path. 

i havent read ahead and i swear to god if this is grian sacrificing himself for mumbo and he turns around and sees grian's body on the pavement and screams "GRIAN!" and that's what the teaser was and that's how it ends my brain is going to be filled with unspeakable screaming until it gets confirmation that he's okay.

“GRIAN!”

I WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE RIGHT. I WASNT SUPPOSED TO HAVE GUESSED CORRECTLY. I WASNT. THAT WASNT. IM. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IM. I HAVE NO WORDS. I HAVEN'T A SINGLE COHERENT SENTENCE. I AM JUST. WOW. IM. WHAT. NO. NO?????? NO. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HFGJFHKFHGJFK WELL. HI LMAO

reading through all of this with a big grin because excitement and Also knowing what happens next >:3c I'd apologize about the teaser thing but I am Not sorry WHEEZE

but in regards to the scar stuff, you're 100% right, yeah, along with grian and mumbo. they're all flawed characters just trying to do the right thing with the cards they've been dealt. their best qualities are Easily their greatest weaknesses. and none of them realize it but y'know. that's what being human is all about! :D

aND THE GRIM REAPER YEAHHHH. I talk about it all the time but I genuinely love scar being the grim reaper. weaponizing it in this chapter. he's such an interesting character to both study and write

but !!!! very glad to see that the first bomb of three has landed appropriately! :D

#mochi speaks #songbird asks

[that-bipolar-mood]

hey, my therapist thinks i might be bipolar and I’m really scared. it makes sense but it’s not something that I had thought about

I don’t know what to do what if I am bipolar??? im so worried that my friends will see me in a different way and I can’t loose them, I need them there all I have. I don’t know anyone that is bipolar and I have no support groups for bipolar disorder near me the closest one is almost 4 hours away. are people really going to see me so differently? Is being bipolar as bad as it sounds? Would meditation help or make it worse? I know nothing and I’m so worried about what’s going to happen. I know nothing about being bipolar. I’m sorry for the rambling I don’t know what to do, I’m just looking for help here.

-Axel

Hey there, sorry for my rambling, and thanks for stopping by.

Basically, I can assure you that all of us who were diagnosed went through something like this.

It's a long process, not gonna lie, but a good way to start is researching this condition. If you like books, fiction, or nonfiction (though I suggest non-fiction first), a quick google search will give you plenty of suggestions. My fav being Kay Redfield Jamieson, p.h.d. There are also movies, some more realistic than others. Probably among the top three is "Touched with Fire".

Anyway, once you get the basics and perhaps come to the conclusion that your therapist was right, you step on the path towards recovery and acceptance. (Not talking about full recovery since bipolar is a chronic condition)

1. You are still you

I know how deeply profoundly sucky the point of view becomes. You might see life through lenses of this illness, even yourself, your interests, and so on. But the cliché is true: your illness doesn't define you.

2. Acceptance isn't linear

Maybe unconventional, but I found that worrying and thinking about bipolar 24/7 made it worse. Some days I'll feel normal, some days I'll curse the day I was born. I'll mourn the losses I suffered from this illness, but I also will remember that there are is light.

3. This illness is dangerous

So many of us underestimated the consequences( of particularly mania). Depression is well known nowadays, but mania is often romanticised, glorified, and brushed aside. Meds, if prescribed, are your weapon.

4. What happened sucks, but...

Reexamine your life, goals, ambitions, needs, and wants. Even though I refused to accept the diagnosis at first, I still forced the evaluation. Because I felt my life was ruined, I, for the first time, realized what was truly important to strive for. Plus, I got rid of many universal bad habits. But it's okay to take time. Please take time, self care and love are priorities.

5. Let others be

This is probably the hardest part. Some people never tell they are bipolar. But having Carrie Fisher for an inspiration made me stop hiding. Either way, some will leave, and some will stay. It's not your job to educate them, to force their narrow views wide, to in any way lose your energy over their ignorance. BUT. Others will actually try to understand. Your friends, I dare say, will want to help, be there, because you are you, and this is just an illness. Be patient and kind with those. Family is trickier, but in the end, they love you. Remember, when someone leaves, it's their loss. However, in the 21st century, people tend to be more open-minded. I never received a negative comment from my peers. When I "came out," people were kind and gentle, even though I expected them to start throwing stuff at me, literally.

I am certain that you will find your own way of dealing with this load. You will grow and evolve, like a beautiful flower, and this will seem easier, with each step down the road. You can find many successful and happy people with this condition. I personally cannot live without mediation, yoga, my dog, my wonderful friends, and yearly Skam rewatches. These keep me grounded, even when I punch my pillow in frustration, because goddamn universe why me.

Finding your way is therapeutic. the internet offers great advice, people gave great lectures, and you can even find podcasts, specifically about bipolar disorder. But in the end, it's just an illness, yes, a giant part of you, but also the unimportant part. Your thoughts, emotions, interests, desires, and more - this is you - and more. and more. infinite. a whole universe. perfect. While bipolar is merely a dot. And if you two are ever in opposition, my bet will always be on you.

If this is remotely close to an answer, I am glad. If not, my dms are open. Or if I can help in any way, don't hesitate to let me know. With Love,

x

#ask #answered #bipolar disorder #actuallybipolar #manic depression #actually bipolar #actually mentally ill #manic depressive #actually manic #bipolar mania #bipolar 1 #bipolar 2

[safetycar-restart]

So many great post from you and my brain is a pollen filled wreck!!!

Trying to gather the braincells

So question first he was an active driver last weekend, do you have any thoughts on Dani? Hes just so loved. Love when Jack lifted him up. Im not sure if its ok to ask about him so feel free to ignore this!

Second either ds au or abo, but fabio had a very bad no good weekend. Like what would either subby or omega fabio need to get away from the dissapointment and anxiety?

Hes sunshine and so nice, i just want to snuggle him and cuddle and worship him. Hold him close and stroke his hair. Kiss and compliment him until hes all giggly and blushy cause he deserves all the nice things. A massage definitly, with scented massage oil to get him to relax. Go on a hike where he can run circles around me, always there when he turns back.

Anyway heres my pollen rambles, i hope you do not have pollen allergies even if its fall for you/ 🏍 anon

Well you certainly did gather the braincells because I love this idea. I think I’m gonna do omega!fabio because I’ve really been wanting to discuss a/b/o stuff more and this is the perfect opportunity.

Firstly, I absolutely LOVE Dani!!! I watched him all the time when he was racing years ago. However, I don’t think I’ll be writing for him. Or any of the older riders, mostly because I used to watch MotoGP with my dad when I was younger and so I kinda associate all the older riders with that and it’s pretty hard to have horny thoughts when the riders remind me of my dad 😂

But anyway, on to omega!fabio!!!

Firstly, poor Fabio had a horrible race weekend. Your darling omega is usually always so optimistic and so so smiley, always uplifting you and making you smile. But the Fabio that comes home to you is so sad, clearly very disappointed in himself and in his bike and just feeling so hopeless.

He looks to you then, because of course he does. You’re his alpha! Whenever he’s sad or uncertain, he looks to you. He trusts you to look after him, always.

It’s honestly heart breaking to see how he looks at you, so full of trust and love. Things aren’t okay, he isn’t feeling okay at all, but he trusts you to make things okay again.

You really do just have to love on him. You make him turn his phone completely off the moment he gets home, telling him that you and him need to spend some time together and ignoring racing. Fabio listens of course, he’s a very good omega.

First, cuddles!

Fabio has a ridiculously colourful nest at home. It contains blankets and pillows of all sorts of different colours, as well as clothes from you and his close friends. Absolutely nothing matches, but it’s so him.

He gets cuddles in his nest for as long as he wants them. He gets thoroughly scented until he’s just a pile of purring omega, just completely putty in your hands, getting all his snuggles. And then you tickle him a little to make him blush and giggle.

Fabio ADORES long periods of skin to skin contact, so that’s exactly what he gets.

And a hike!! A hike is absolutely perfect.

You don’t go very far, and Fabio does about the triple the distance that you do because he’s always running ahead and then running back. You used to feel bad, feeling like you were holding him back. But that couldn’t be further from the truth because Fabio loves turning back and seeing you there so much.

Maybe you also invite some people over? Once Fabio has gotten his cuddles from you, the best thing for him is to have those he’s closest to around. Fabio has a habit of just taking random moto2 and moto3 riders under his wing, and he sees them as pups.

The first time he truly smiles is when he gets home and finds some of those he considers pups in his nest. He’s so so happy, immediately jumping in for cuddles and to scent each one of them thoroughly.

#omega!fabio #omega!drivers #fq #soft soft vibes #gn!reader #shels talks motogp

[whataphantasia]

ok it's nighttime where i am which makes it PERFECT to go on about my

✨post-crystallized ninjago brain ramble and non-critical retrospective✨

because. ninjago do be making my brain go !! and i need to yell abt it to myself to my blog void b4 i go onto dragons rising and stuff. i talked abt this on discord but only 2 ppl following me are in that server so wtv (hi btw X3)

i want to preface this by saying i dont interact with the ninjago fandom at all, and i know near nothing about behind-the-scenes things or stuff said by production. this is all my thoughts babeyy (which means im going to sound absolutely clueless and talk abt things that hav probably already been resolved. wtv) none of this is supposed to be critical thinking LOL pls dont attack me. i sound complainey but i dont hate the show, this is how i show love for media <3

really the most pressing thing to me was. being really frustrated about garmadon’s whole arc at the end of tournament of elements. yknow when misako finds out about the letter. i feel like they didn’t really go into depth about RESOLVING that whole thing, like showing the repercussions and thoughts of all parties involved after the fact? how does this affect their family? i suppose misako and lloyd talked about it during day of the departed, kind of? but. my needy ass just goes “IT WASN’T ENOUGH.” really, i don’t really like character death or sacrifice as the resolution to a conflict or arc unless it’s done really well, and. is this supposed to feel unsatisfying?! because it is to me!!

yes. i know it’s a kids show. its super likely something's going over my head right now, but. it really made me think again because misako and garmadon didn’t really even talk after harumi revived his oni side, and especially after all the interactions lloyd and garmadon had during crystallized. seriously, someone rec me fics that explore misako and garmadon talking post tournament of elements please JDKWNFJSND. and really i didn’t hate the resolution of tournament of elements... this is my single major nitpick about it LOL

continuing with that thought, like. lloyd has lost his dad multiple times... this isn’t fair to him!!! give bro a break!!! (silly) (i know its fiction LOL) honestly why doesn’t he have WORSE trust issues after considering his mom and harumi and all the other people who’ve abandoned slash betrayed him?! and yeah misako really is the least terrible offender here, and i’m not blaming her— but ya can’t ignore that it DID affect him. this is why i was really excited for the prospect of a corruption arc for him during crystallized, however brief. he deserves it! let him destroy a few buildings, maybe kill a guy! let him fulfill his rise of the serpentine dreams, but for real this time! again REC ME FICS RAGHH

...though yes. i know he’s developed really far to the point he’d never hurt people like that, and tbh you could say he was never really evil in the first place but. you gotta understand that the corruption arc is one of my FAVORITE tropes. i’ll do anything for em... it’s my fatal flaw...

heck like. this is why i was really excited for the ice emperor because i KNEW that was zane the moment i saw him LMAO. he’s my favorite character how can i not tell. but in the end he just lost his memories and was being manipulated by some other bad guy... same thing goes for possession, lloyd wasn’t the bad guy, it was morro possessing him... its not the same </3 let them be lead astray even WITH their past memories and relationships and feelings... i need the angst... (you can tell im insane because im saying this about a lego show)

anyways point is. i like corruption arcs. and i WILL write fic about the ice emperor gaining more agency no matter how out of character and detached from the original message it is. (even sillier connotation)

okay thats the end of me nitpicking for now, i think. i mean i have a lot of qualms... esp about wu characterization in the new animation studio half, but. thats one thing i know that has been talked abt AT LENGTH. and idk if this is an unpopular opinion but i liked all da seasons for different reasons, they all appeal to my different happy little facets of media i enjoy :) im still fresh off of watching the show again for the first time in forever so this opinion will probably change, who knows.

really im just happy to have gone thru the whole main series! including wu's teas! not including dragons rising tho. ill get around to that after this. and maybe look into more production and behind the scenes stuff, and the games and supplementary content too. i love consuming content 🥰

anyway... uhm. can you tell zane is my favorite. because i said it explicitly some sentences ago. god he is so. ykwhat heres a screenshot bc i dont want to write this all out again

thanks for listening bye :3

ninjago... my favorite piece of inherently kind of problematic but overall very fun and well meaning media (esp in the later seasons compared to the earlier ones)... kisses it

#ph_ninjago #ph_ramb #a REALLY long ramb. im being so fr

[levbolton]

It is I, anon from earlier today and I can now in confidence tell you that your fics have broken me down into nothingness.

Not only am I stupid and cannot read tags but I repeatedly let myself be comforted by your writing only to be hit with the sad truth at the end. You can’t keep getting away with this /j .Your style is so unique and I can feel the passion you have for the characters as you can see their inner turmoils on the writings. I love how you bring them to life

My personal favourite is Monologue (which is highly underrated btw). I love the dynamic between Fumi and Maki plus Fumi talking about her day made me smile so much. Then cane the gut wrenching feeling about Maki. Honestly you managed to balance the fluff with the angst out so well and I really adored it.

To conclude this annoying fan’s rambling, you are my favourite blue period writer and such a great storyteller. I know how you’ve stated that the fandom is quite inactive (cause it is) but your presence manages to be so outstanding to me. I don’t know why I was too nervous to follow now but I might as well write my letter of appreciation so it can be covered by the bots.

I hope you are able to continue doing what you love and have a great rest of day. 🙃

thanks op, kinda figured bcs i have emails from ao3 and your usernames match

personally 'monologue' is quite the lackluster for me, i wanted to use the concept, i think i wanted to make it about ytyt with yotasuke that would tell yatora about the summer festival only to reveal at the end that yatora was unconscious the whole time so yotasuke wasn't talking with anyone, i got the idea while working on 'a psychological take' (where i wrote already a summer festival so it felt unnecessary to do it again) and at the same time i wanted to write fumimaki (bcs there's literally nothing for this married couple, almost canon i'd say, more canon than ytyt), so i combined both, i was still in a phase where i wanted to kill all characters and make them suffer which i think i did a lot and now i just want to write them relax and be happy (writing depression is hard), so it's not really that original inside my head, but im glad at least someone else likes it (for me billy of tea was way more fun to think about)

tbh i've been thinking about moving on from blp for quite a few months already but i simply can't find something else to interest me the same way ytyt does, which sucks bcs if i don't write then no one will write stuff, rn i want to finish this fic i'm sorking on (i hope i get to 100k), then a oneshot about ytyt soulmates and another oneshot about miki and ayano only, then idk, i think it would be good to retire (not to be petty actually, but i did write 40% of the words in the yatoyota tag on ao3)

fandom isn't really only inactive, it is now a bit (i continuously try to collect blp fans here and on twt, the more the merrier), but i just felt ignored since the anime was airing, again maybe it was the bad timing bcs i started posting my first fic towards the end of the anime when people lost the interest bcs that adaptation is horrible, then in february yamaguchi had covid and from march to july it was complete hiatus and then the whole dj drama (which i'd lie if i said the mob mentality to drop it didn't affect me too although i was the one to uncover the doujinshis on my own weeks before it got to twitter, anyway my idea was: this isn't a piece of media i care about and i am already deeply in love with blue period so whatever, my respect for yamaguchi decreased and i got a passive aggressive attitude towards her until she posted the new year ytyt picture with bunnies this january, now i seriously don't care abt whatever else she drew - also damn i'm really side railing with this)

thanks again for your support, sorry for the long unnecessary text lmao, i have too much free time

[greyeyedmonster-18]

I saw the ask you answered about fashion and essentially being bullied out of it and against it and I just

This is so very true, and I don't know that I ever even realized until I read what you wrote. I always just thought I'd decided to gravitate towards what most consider 'lazy' and 'slouchy' garb because it's comfortable, that I never put in a lot of effort (sometimes even as a teenager and in my early 20s) because I convinced myself none of it mattered. And it doesn't, so long as I'm comfortable in what I wear, I get that, I do. But there are times when I see someone wearing something super cute and I'm like "I want that."

But every time that happens, there's this voice in my head telling me it's pointless. I'd never pull it off so why try? People will look at me weird, judge me for attempting to wear something so completely unlike myself, something that might not completely suit who they've come to view me as. Strangers will critique and pass their own judgement, and that's a terrifying thing. And the answer is always 'yeah, right, exactly that.' And that's so incredibly unfair, especially since I know there are so many people out there with this exact same mentality.

I think how you're raised and what you experience as the world shapes itself around you as you grow plays a huge part in this. If you're told as a child not to wear something because you don't have the body for it, no matter if they're trying to do it out of kindness, it implants something in you that is difficult to ever leave behind. If you're bullied for you clothing choices by peers, it puts a bad taste in your mouth for ever trying again. If you don't look like the models on the runways or the photoshopped celebrities in the magazines, you're failing, don't bother.

Jeans and tshirts and comfortable, less-stylish shoes are a choice, and they are a phenomenal one. But at some point, for some people, it becomes less of a choice and more of something forced into existence through a lifetime of disappointed outlooks and half-muttered rejections. No one should feel like that.

And that's all I'll say on the matter. I know you're busy. You don't have to answer this at all, I promise you don't. I also realize that doing this on anon sort of defeat the point of what you said, and maybe I shouldn't have done it like this, but that's the fear still screaming. So here I am, rambling nonsense in your inbox because it was on my mind.

All the love, Dr Grey. <3

no we are absolutely going to answer this because you're so right.

this right here: "Jeans and tshirts and comfortable, less-stylish shoes are a choice, and they are a phenomenal one. But at some point, for some people, it becomes less of a choice and more of something forced into existence through a lifetime of disappointed outlooks and half-muttered rejections."

yes. (also, do you write fic? i feel like you're a mutual of mine who was nervous and sent it to me on anon??? I PROMISE IM NOT SCARY!)

more babble below the cut

the voice in your head saying "you can't pull something off" or "that wont look good on me" is so real. and its so hard to fight against and ignore and a million other things. and that voice is so directly tied to fashion. and I think that's often why people resort to jeans and t-shirts and sneakers because they're TIMELESS and no one is going to take issue with it! no one is going to tell you X doesn't look good on you or you can't pull X off because its jeans and a t-shirt and nothing matters!

and like, i also have these thoughts. but like...and this is also one of the only pieces of advice I ever have to offer-- do it anyway.

just do it anyway. even if its not perfect. even if you're unsure if you can pull something off (going to leave the "it doesn't look good on me" out of here because fashion isn't about what looks good on a specific body or certain person, its about creativity and expression), or unsure if you'll feel good in it, do it anyway. that's the only way you know.

i recently made an executive decision to only wear suits/tailoring to weddings after years of feeling uncomfortable in jumpsuits and before than dresses. and i went to one in june--had a gorgeous emerald green suit set, black top underneath, ready to go-- and was feeling so uncertain if i was going to be able to pull it off. if the guests were going to judge me for showing up in a suit. if it wasn't going to be enough.

but i did it anyway. and it paid off. because I was comfortable the whole night. i got loads of compliments. and notably a lot of other guests said "oh I could never pull this off, but you can"

BET.

bet.

i get in trouble a lot for saying this IRL, but like...honestly, nothing matters. nothing matters. wear the cute outfit you see on someone else. buy the cute heels and wear them to the grocery store on a Wednesday morning. put on a red lip to drink coffee.

wear trousers instead of a skirt. wear a suit to a wedding. it is so hard to shake the voice in your head. i spent years hearing one that said No One is Ever Going to Take You Seriously if You Dress Like That. and spent years wearing boring ass shit (i wish i still had some of my blouses from then back in the day because my fucking god.) and shit that didn't feel like me.

and like..

idk.

its so much better to Do You.

#asks #grey answers #this is a fashion blog #also i know ive given vague hints at what i look like #i know this and i also know a bunch of you are turning your noses up and rolling your eyes #because OF COURSE i have the privilege of thinking this way and doing shit anyway #and like...yes but also no #everyone has their own relationship with their body and im not different #i dont get dressed in the morning trying to make myself look small or aesthetically pleasing according to beauty standards #because if that were the case #i wouldnt wear heels ever because im literally massive with them on and Tol Women arent okay #I wouldn't wear trousers either because SKIRTS are professional for women! or if you wear pants they better be black or navy or grey #not pink or purple or leather #and like of course i can just turn the voice in my head off because i present a certain way #but like nah it doesnt work that way #everyone can be brave. as STUPID as that sounds.

[afallenangelwhoheals]

i have always been someone who loves to research topics as much as i can, and when growing up as a jw, that was hard for me. i wanted to research things related to religion but was constantly told to "be careful" or to "only look at things on the website (jw dot org)". this led to me having a very isolated, and ignorant view of many religions, including ones that no longer exist or are at least rarely heard of.

as i was starting to question things, in my PIMQ(physically in, mentally questioning) phase, i learned about the book of enoch. i have not read any apocrypha all the way through, however i love to look at summaries and things and learn generally the belief systems there. i was surprised by the deep dive i could do, but due to still struggling with my guilt, i used research purely based on jw dot org. gnosticism, of course, is viewed as apostate literature and it is greatly mocked by jws on the website. i also began to mock it, but was also greatly intrigued by it anyways. fast forward to me now being a PIMO(mentally out), who has, for the last damn close to two years (if not that already) been trying to undo my toxic jw thinking and allowing myself to research whatever i wish, wherever i wish (with reputable sources) i feel as though i have come to a certain peace that i did not have before.

gnosticism is a very interesting thing, and the common beliefs among gnostics were cool and i respect them greatly, but i feel sad for those who were imprisoned or murdered because the majority of christians viewed it as evil.

that aside, i have also researched paganism, a little of buddhism, hinduism, and many more.

that peace that i mentioned, it's this feeling that i dont have to stick to a single religion. because ultimately, so many are the same just Different Fonts, and i feel like when humans believe but do not enforce, that is when we are happier. i want everyone to believe as they please, and for us all to exist together and share our knowledge and beliefs with each other. maybe we will learn things we didnt before, lessons we'd never known, and we exchange this information lovingly. i have hope that one day this will be far more possible, and i think looking to the future with optimism will encourage this to be more possible.

as for my own beliefs, (more under the cut, if you are interested)

i dont exactly believe in any one religion or set of specific beliefs. however here is a list of what i believe.

i think reincarnation is possible, that when we die that is not the end and perhaps we can create an afterlife that brings us the most peace. i think gods are possible but also not set in stone and if they do exist they're nothing we can comprehend until we are not restricted in a human body. they're definitely not dictators. i think magic is real but not like what we see on tv. i think kindness should be the priority in life. i dont think astrology brings demons into the house. i dont believe anyone is superior over another, but that we are all the same. i think politics can be used for good and we should fight for what's right, but be careful of being blindsided and try not to fall into a pit of hatred and spite. i think everyone should have the right and freedom over their own body and what they can do with it (abortion, gender affirming care, etc). Sexuality should be celebrated, not demonized.

and that's the basics! it's very very different from my old beliefs that i was raised to have. but im happy with them. and i am happy for anyone who agrees or even disagrees with them! i wish for anyone who has religious trauma/grew up in a strict religious environment but has now left, to explore what other belief systems are out there. not to convert, but to learn and to figure out what makes us happy and find peace <3 whether it's we pick things to believe from other religions and mix them together, or simply choose none of it all, which is a wonderful choice too. i dunno. ramble over haha

#tada #ramble #my rambles #ex jw #pimo #pimo ex jw #ex jehovah's witness #ex christian #ex cult #gnosticism #apocrypha #text post #religious trauma

[nothing-ramblings]

its currently 1am in my timezone and I just made this blog on a whim because i cant stop thinling about this stupid thing isaw months ago and its too late to bother my friends about it so hi

i dont remember how long ago exactly but its been a few months- i saw a post calling ouran problematic for the whole "incest thing". at the time i ignored it cause i hate confrontation but sometimes it comes back to haunt me by which i mean annoyingly take up space in my mind

now i havent read the manga, but i did watch the qnime and i believe the post was specifically about the anime. now maybe they just quit it very early on or maybe we just have very different interpretations but the anime i watched did not in fact have any incest in it. it did have kaoru and hikaru playing with that trope at the host club, and iirc trying to shock their nanny at one point? but thats the main thing here, and it's something the anime does a lot, they are playing with the trope.

while i can understand that being enough to cause discomfort i feel like its not only inaccurate but also unfair as i feel like it discredits the way the show makes fun of these common tropes in reverse harem (the genre it's a part of). no actual incest happens in that anime, in fact both brothers happen to have a crush on haruhi as is the rule w this type of anime and i think one of them even decides to step back for his brother.

now why am i rambling about this months after i saw a random post? mostly because im trying to sleep and my brain is going in circles on this topic. but also because it does genuinely bother me.

im not comfortable with incest in the media i consume either, i also know it can be a trigger for some people (then again anything can be a trigger), and some people just dont like it because they think its morally reprehensible to even write about it, while others are huge fans of game of thrones the incest show! im not here to talk morality because thats a whole other topic about howuch you believe fiction affects reality and im not here for that, im here for a stupid too-long anime post about nothing important. the thing is calling it incest when it isn't just feels misleading and once again discredits the thing the show likes to do of mocking these tropes, its silly to point at a parody and claim its supporting the thing its actually parodying. i dont think thats how those work but i could be wrong idk!

i just think that, if you don't like somehing you watched or read or whatever, you can just say so without making up a reason to call it problematic, or taking smth out of context to call it problematic. hell idk maybe there IS smth u could call problematic about ouran, there must be seeing as no media is flawless, i just think calling the hikaru and kaoru bit "incest" kinda downplays actual incest which like. Maybe people are trying to avoid? and maybe some of those people would think the joke is gross while others wouldnt rlly care.

At least specify its not actual incest and ur just uncomfortable w them pretending to be. thats totally fair!!! just dont call it smth it isnt idk

anyway i rlly like these lil shits even if their schtick is kinda iffy kinda weird

#long post #cw incest mention #blank rambles

[sporchid]

Journal #32

I don’t know why but I’ve always liked the euphoria I get when I have a sort of crush on someone. It’s really fun thinking and obsessing over a person you find attractive. Even if nothing will ever happen the anxiety is almost addicting. The joy of being in love.

Im going to ramble now. I’ve been obsessing over a guy I first saw years ago. We went to school together. (I hope it’s not illegal to say his lovely name.) I don’t want to reveal too much but I first saw him at a gathering in middle school. I think when I first saw him I was immediately in awe. At the time, he was the most attractive boy I’ve ever seen. (I wouldn’t find his middle school self attractive now of course.) I was immediately drawn to him. As time went on I saw him more and more. And he got more and more attractive as he grew up. For most of high school I tried to keep my eye on him because of how attractive he became. He’s tall and thin, with blonde hair and a nice face. People used to say he had a big nose and I think he had a wider mouth and long face but all of that just made him more attractive. I wrote letters to him and tried talking to him often at one point. But he unfortunately was never interested in talking. It sort of felt bad, but I still got a rush of happiness when I saw him and heard his voice. I chased him down a couple times too. When he saw me he tried walking really fast down the hall. I sort of tried to catch up to him but didn’t that day. Ah well, I would get him the next day. Giving him the letter made me excited too. He told me he read it and ended up telling me politely that he wasn’t interested. That was fine, I would still talk to him though. It was too fun to stop, even though he purposely ignored me. High school ended with me slipping my number in the second letter I wrote him, hoping he’d contact me later on.

And he actually did. But I made a massive blunder and cut contact with him, thinking he was ignoring me again on purpose. He had things going on in his life and I didn’t respect that. I think I was too obsessed and ruined everything. I ended up yelling at him through text and cut contact. I still regret it to this day. And I don’t know why but when I hear or think about him I still get a rush of euphoria. (I did send him an apology but wasn’t expecting a response, I just wanted to relieve my guilt.) I don’t know why I feel so happy when I think about him. Even though I’ll probably never see him again, trying to remember his voice is really fun. He’d probably think I’m a freak if he ever saw this, don’t worry I know I am. But he would appear in my dreams and in my thoughts so often recently that I had to write a journal entry about it. He’s still one of the most attractive guys I’ve ever seen. He also reminds me of one of my favorite characters from a song series I like. I don’t know how someone could be so attractive. Being obsessed with someone is so fun for some reason; you could do so much with it when writing stories and drawing things. And again, the euphoria you get is amazing. Ah Clayton, I don’t know why I’m so obsessed with you but you helped me come up with some of my favorite story ideas and characters. I hope one day I could put my stories out there and actually finish them. Maybe he’ll see them, but I’m not counting on that. I just said that to sound poetic or wistful or something.

Regardless, I know my purpose right now is to bring my characters to life one day. Things probably won’t stay this way but I’m going to try to make a story I could be proud of. One that does my characters justice, as a thanks for being with me for all these years when I felt sad and like no one else fully understood me. This is probably the longest journal entry I’ve ever written so far. I hope I didn’t break any rules here. If I did then oh well. Nothing I said makes much sense from an outside perspective anyway. I probably won’t write this much in later entries either. I was feeling animated so that’s why I rambled for so long. Alright then, into the metaphorical sea this message in a bottle goes.

#journaling

[cainightfics]

wow, you have an interesting perspective on the future of humanity. it's somewhat uplifting and relieving. all problems seem insignificant. i had similar thoughts about the future of my country. but i never thought about global destruction. thanks for sharing this information, i want to look deeper and maybe recognize some imminent signs of global doom lol

haha "interesting" is one word for it i guess. dont even get me started or ill go on forever but yeah im 100% a collapsenik doomer. if you want some overviews of the basics of this stuff you could check out the podcast "breaking down: collapse" or "it could happen here." unfortunately a lot of the discussion surrounding these issues is america-centric, and ignores a lot of very big global issues that are clear harbingers of collapse. the famine in yemen, for example, or last years hunga tonga–hunga haʻapai volcano eruption, which was more powerful than any nuclear bomb and released enough vapour into the atmosphere to speed up global warming exponentially. like i say, its not just one issue. its thousands of issues, happening everywhere all the time, creating feedback loops which exponentially spiral out of control. We Are Fucked lol.

to put things into perspective, even if all of global production stopped right now and we found a way to hit climate goals of 2C warming (which we won't, and depending on how far back you measure the baseline, we've already gone past 2C warming since the pre-industrial era), the feedback loops of climate change will nonetheless create such high concentrations of methane and carbon dioxide in the atmosphere that by 2100 every human on earth will experience such low oxygen levels that they will all be mentally disabled.

there is nothing that can stop the upcoming shitstorm. theres too many problems, and even if we all worked together to solve one, the others will kill us anyway. i'd say once oil production begins to halt (which is estimated to be around 2040) collapse will really hit us full-force. we NEED petrochemical fertilizers to grow enough food to support our current population, it's nonnegotiable. our civilization is dependent on oil down to our most basic of needs. once the oil is gone, there will be unprecedented amounts of death. and there is no replacement for oil. it took millions of years of dinosaur remains decaying in the earth to create it. even if human civilization survives, in small pockets somewhere, the current world as we know it will be dead forever. we will never get it back, for better or for worse.

i think the current state of society is denial, cluelessness, and panic. everyone knows its bad, but very few know how bad it really is. just the thought of the impending doom in our collective future is enough to drive loads of people to suicide, addiction, or mindless consumption as a self-soothing mechanism. the fact is, its over. we have a few decades left before everything before us is just a glittering memory of our self-indulgent past. on the one hand, it will mark the end of capitalism, and thus the end of the cycle of exploitation and consumption that has caused so much human suffering. on the other hand, the suffering of the future will perhaps be even greater.

anyways ill stop myself before i go rambling on (remember earlier when i said i can rant about this forever?). i’d be happy to chat about it more with anyone whos interested, but its not exactly light nice stuff to have show up on your dash on a sunday, so im sorry to anyone who read this and is now freaked out. but all of this is just the beginning of why i am an alcoholic lol

[wyyvernn]

Alucard having a bad dream and reader comforts him!!! Please and thank you 🌺

A/n: still feel like he needs comfort, a warm cuddle, cup of tea etc. I want to spoil him rotten. This is gonna be angsty. Also hey im back lol

Also keep in mind here, I'm going off the modern!reader au from my past two alucard x modern reader I've been writing. There isn't much to keep up with but here's the story part anyway:

The same stars in our skies part 1

The same stars in our skies part 2

_________

The pain...

He could feel the burning pain of metal wires twisting around his body and cutting into his flesh again. The memory lived so vivid to this day and even more so in his nightmares. What really did it, though, was the emotional trauma that left several scars.

His writhing around in the sheets triggered you awake. Adrian's arms coiled tighter around your waist, pressing himself to your back while his muffled whimpers cried in your hair.

Your hand immediately shot up to unwind his limbs from your stomach as you turned to face him, even as much as he tried to cradle you closer.

"Adrian, love, hey. C'mon, wake up."

His cries became louder as he shook awake. A thin sheen of sweat coated his forehead and dripped down his cheek, his eyes dashed everywhere as his arms vibrated furiously.

You reached up to his face, cradling his jaw. Instantly, Adrian's hands latched onto your forearms, his eyes blown wide as they stared into yours.

You could see him trying to piece together words but his lips trembled and he ultimately just decided to press his face against your neck.

"Hold me," he demanded lightly, and then a, "Please."

You didn't question it.

Nightmares were common with Adrian, though, this was the first time you had experienced them from him.

You remember before you became a couple that he used to suffer alone in his bedroom and the times you would walk passed his room in the middle of the night, you battled with yourself to try and not disturb him.

It's only now you're realising that he needs someone to share that weight.

You nodded towards him in understanding, placing a kiss on his head before tucking him right back under your chin.

"You know..." you began, holding him tightly to your body, "I remember nights like these. The nightmares I used to have are gone but...the memories are still vivid."

He said nothing, opting to listen to your voice instead as it calmed him now.

"No one cared of course, so I suffered alone in my room each night, crying helplessly about my troubles, and when I tried to tell my parents, they ignored me, said I was asking for attention. Well yeah, of course I was..." you continued to ramble on. Adrian only listened intently, wanting to know more about your past.

"Their own child was crying alone each night because my parents were never there to comfort me and they thought that wasn't something to confront? ...I can't tell you the amount of times I wanted to run away even though I stayed put. I think it would've made it worse since I had nowhere to go, I was just a kid too. Eventually I left when I got older, got a job and managed to find a small apartment to move into, completely cut off my parents...I was at peace. Well, until I wound up around here."

You chuckled the last part.

"But it''s funny...I don't think I would have been able to meet you if the circumstances were different, isn't that strange, Adrian? It's like something brought us together, our worlds together, as cheesy as that sounds."

Finally he decided to speak, his throat wet and warm and less shaky than before, "Then whatever brought you to me, fate or coincidence, I feel it may be the only mercy I have been granted from anything."

Adrian took your hand and brought it to his lips to press a gentle kiss.

You smiled, reassuringly, "If that's the case, then maybe we should continue to be together."

Adrian cocked a brow, "Were you ever thinking of leaving?"

Your lips tilted up in amusement, hugging his face in your chest.

"No, never."

#adrian tepes castlevania #adrian tepes #adrian tepes x reader #alucard tepes #alucard #yandere alucard #yandere adrian tepes #adrian tepes x you

[harryspet]

off to the races (2) s.rogers

[Warnings] dark!steve rogers x reader, stripper!reader, ddlg, daddy!steve, abduction/kidnapping, mafia boss steve, bondage, a hint of peter x reader, toxic/abusive relationship, hella angst, little editing 

A/N: im mentally shutting down because of school but at least i have mob!steve :)

In which you don’t want to be Daddy’s secret anymore.

word count: 3.5k

main masterlist

taglist: @cherienymphe @peterztinglez @lovelynerdytraveler @buckysbunny @hollandsdream @micki-smiles @buckybarnesplumwhore @arts-ismything @saharzek @lovemassivelybeautifulbouquet @what-is-your-wish @brattypeony @hermayone @buckysugar @mischiefmanaged011 @visintaes​  @disaster-rose​​ @sexyxseabassx​ @marvelmaree​

“Woah, dude, your room is awesome. Awe, you have all the good movies. I haven’t seen The Jungle Book in forever!” 

“Peter, look!” You waved him over to the window, ignoring his astonishment for the paradise Steve had created for you. Peter stood there dumbly for a moment before walking over to the window beside your bed. 

You heard the loud whirring of helicopter spinning blades echoing through the room even with the window closed. It was landing in the field behind the manor and you were questioning why Steve was making such a grand entrance today. You’d been stuck in this house for three weeks now and nothing this exciting had happened yet, “Who’s helicopter is that?” You looked back at Peter who’d crossed his arm nervously. 

“Uhm … probably … maybe-” You scoffed, before looking back at the view. The helicopter was a sleek, black color and, as you narrowed, your eyes could make out some words written in gold. 

“Stuh …. Stark …. Industries. Stark Industries,” You were calm as you took in the info before the realization hit you, “Stark Industries! Is Tony Stark here? Holy …. pancakes.”

Peter smiled, seemingly amused by your excitement, “Pancakes?”

“Steve doesn’t like it when I-” You stopped yourself from explaining, realizing there was a bigger situation at hand, “We have to go check things out. Get a closer look!”

“No way,” Peter shook his head, “I’m here to make sure you stay in this room.”

You rolled your eyes, “So Tony Stark must be here then, right?”

“I can neither confirm nor deny that,” Peter pressed his lips together like he was struggling to hold in all the secrets he knew. 

“How the hell does Steve know Tony Stark? Stark is dirty too? I should’ve known … flipping rich people.”

“Flipping?”

You took a step toward him and despite the fact you were wearing a pair of fairy wings, he still seemed intimidated by you, “What do you want, huh? A raise?”

“Uhm … I don’t think you can do that … can you?”

“Of course I can. Steve is wrapped around my finger.”

Peter cocked an eyebrow, “But he’s Steve Rogers …”

“Look around this room for goodness sake! He does anything I want. If I tell him all about how you’re a great worker, how you’re a good friend to me, he’ll surely be appreciative. Might even give you a promotion and maybe you won't have to play babysitter anymore.”

He considers it just for a moment, “If he does anything you want then why are you locked in this house?”

“Fine, fine, so I don’t have complete control but I have some. I could be helpful to you in the future!” 

“Y/N, if something went wrong he’d probably chop me up into little pieces and send them to my Aunt. Or he’d chop up my aunt and make me watch … depends on the kinda mood he’s in.”

You stared back at him, trying not to let the look on your face falter, “ … I’ll give you my movie collection?” 

“I’m sorry but-”

“It’s my birthday soon?”

“I can’t,” Peter stated, sighing, “I’ve got pressure on me right now, and things have to go right tonight. It’s like a huge deal. I never get to go to stuff and the party is-” He stopped his rambling when he realized he’d said too much. 

“Party?” Peter opened his mouth and closed it again. He turned away from you, eyes wide, and made his way to the door. Of course, you chased after him, placing yourself between him and the door, “What party?”

“Please move,” Peter begged, “I really can’t talk about it.”

“I won’t say anything, I promise!” You were the one begging now, “He doesn’t tell me anything at all. Can you imagine how I’m feeling? I’ll do everything you say, I won’t try anything, I just want to know what's going on …. please?”

“Steve can’t know,” You nodded eagerly and he finally gave in, probably because of your spectacular puppy dog eyes, “Tony Stark is having a party tonight, that’s where Steve’s going, and most of us are going to. A pretty important deal is happening.”

“Why doesn’t Steve want me to go?” You frowned a bit.

“I don’t think he wants anybody to know about you, to keep you safe, that kind of thing.”

“Right,” You nodded, “Even if I go crazy while he does that.”

Peter looked sympathetic, “I’m sorry.”

“I know this thing with me and Steve is not ordinary but is it crazy of me to not want to be a secret? Even after everything …”

You could tell Peter wasn’t expecting a deep question nor did he expect you’d confide in him, “I don’t think so,” Peter was trying to understand, you could see it in his eyes. He rubbed the back of his neck as if he wasn’t sure, “Obviously … you - uhm - care about him. I wouldn’t want to be the secret of someone I care about.”

He was taken aback when you suddenly hugged him. Unsure if he could hug you back, he awkwardly patted your shoulder which made you giggle, “Can I paint your nails?”

“What? No.”

“I have colors that aren’t girly.” “Hmm … can you do cool stuff like the shapes and sparkles?”

“Of course,” You smiled, “Step into my salon.”

+

“I didn’t get my sticker this week,” You bounced back from your toes to your heels, watching Steve as he got ready in his closet. He was fixing his tie in the mirror, making sure it was absolutely perfect, along with the rest of the look. Freshly trimmed beard and an aftershave that smells intoxicating. He smelt like money and looked like it too. That’s probably exactly how you would want to look in front of Tony Stark. 

“You skipped dinner two days in a row, doll.”

You were frowning but it wasn’t like he was focused on you anyways, “But I did better after that,” You whined.

“I know, baby, you can try again next week.”

“Maybe if you were here then I wouldn’t have missed it,” You whispered, playing with your fingernails, “But I’m stuck here and you get to go out and have your fun.”

“Have my fun?” He questioned, buttoning up his jacket. 

“You get home so late … I’m sure you go to your clubs, booze it up and talk to girls.”

He chuckled a bit, “You think I’m flirting with other women?”

“I don’t think, I know,” You leaned against the doorway, “You’re a guy, aren’t you? That’s what you do.”

He finally turned to you, and you felt your breath hitch in your throat. He was as handsome as ever, like a movie star, “Doll, my days are long because I’m traveling from here to the city every day. I want to fall asleep and wake up with you. There isn’t and never will be anyone who I’d rather do that with.” 

As he came closer, you knew he was going to lift you into his arms. Ever since he took you from the club and you sobbed into his shoulders, you’d find solace in his arms. Even if his hands were causing your hurting, they still felt warm and loving, “You don’t mean that,” You whispered, muffled against his shoulder. 

“What can I do to prove it to you?”

“Take me with you,” You said and you felt him stiffen. 

“It’s not safe,” He tried to explain. 

“Are you embarrassed by me?” 

“No, no,” He rushed out, carrying you out of the closet and into the bedroom. “Why would you even ask that?”

“Because of what I do, what I used to do-”

“No, Y/N. I’ve never felt that way,” His tone was more concerned that it ever had been before, “Look at me, please?”

Begrudgingly, you lifted your head. You hated that you were feeling jealous or inadequate, “You took care of yourself all these years and I know you still can,” He continued, “Let me protect you now.”

“I’m not a baby.”

Steve could sense the small bit of pride still left in you and decided not to push you on it anymore, “Could’ve fooled me,” Steve smiled slightly, bouncing you in his arms, “Let me tuck you in, grumpy.”

“The sun just set!” 

“It wasn’t actually a request,” He was already carrying you away. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” You resisted, “Can I sleep in here? I’ll go to sleep right away, I promise.”Steve stopped, thinking it over for a moment, “I like that the … sheets smell like you, Daddy,” You added, knowing that was what he wanted to hear. It wasn’t fully a lie but you had other motives for not wanting to go back to your room. For one, your room locked from the outside and his didn’t. Besides that, you were almost sure that one of your stuffed bears had a camera inside its eye. 

Steve tucked you into his california king-sized bed that night and watched you fall asleep until it was time for him to go. You felt the kiss he pressed to your forehead and, for a brief moment, you thought about changing your plans. 

That feeling didn’t last long. 

+

For such an expensive car, you thought your ride would be a lot smoother and much more comfortable. Turns out, hiding in any trunk, no matter how luxurious, behind big boxes of unknown items, was not a pleasant experience. An hour into the drive, you finally decided that you’d had enough and you needed to get the feeling back into your limbs. Besides that, you needed to check and make sure that your hair and makeup stayed in place. 

When you climbed over the seat from the trunk to the backseat, the car instantly swerved before the driver corrected its path, “Y/N, holy shit!” Peter shouted, obviously frightened out of his mind but you were focused on making sure all the layers of your dress made it safely back into their places, “What the fuck? What the actual fuck?”

“Oh, calm down,” You said, looking at him through the rearview, “Just keep driving.”

“Are you out of your mind? If Steve sees you he’s going flip his shit!” 

“Peter, you okay in there, kid?” You heard Bucky’s staticky voice over Peter’s radio. The younger man picked it up and answered, his eyes still focused on you. 

You placed a finger over your lips and Peter gave you a death stare, “Yeah, I’m fine … I thought I saw a squirrel.”

A caravan of three cars surrounded Steve’s car as they all drove down this dark, winding road that you assumed would lead to Tony Stark’s mansion, “Did you not comprehend a single word I said?” Peter shouted, “Do you want me to get killed?”

“This is my problem,” You said, “Steve will know that you had nothing to do with it, I promise. But tonight is going to go super well so it won’t even matter. Steve is going to see me and realize he’s crazy not to show me off and then we’re going to go to the party and I’m going to charm everyone with my personality which is going to make him a ton of friends and even more money. Everyone wins.”

Peter was shaking his head the entire time as he listened to your rambling,  “Y/N, I understand that you want to be more to Steve and you don’t want to be in the dark but this isn’t the way! This isn’t some charity event or some art gala, these are dangerous people.”

“But Tony Stark-”

“Is as dirty as it gets,” Your heart began to race a bit, “And Steve cannot just let everyone know his biggest weakness, even if they are his allies.”

His biggest weakness. 

Suddenly, your mind was racing with thoughts of moments with Steve. Meeting him, going on your first dates, the hotel meetings, and the passionate kisses that always left you feeling like he felt more about you than he admitted. You never saw yourself as his weakness. 

I want to fall asleep and wake up next to you. 

When you snapped out of your trance, Peter had his walkie-talkie pressed to his chin, “Guys, uhm, we have a stowaway,” You slumped back in your seat, and when the car eventually came to a stop, you wished you were still tucked away in Steve’s bed. You think Peter was calling your name, probably apologizing and telling you how he had to follow orders but, honestly, you had tuned him out, “I-I don’t know …. I thought I checked everything …”

Your dress was adorable too, covered in pastels, while still remaining elegant. You imagined Steve's heart with flutter at the sight of you, instead, he was fuming. He was always so stoic, so full of composure, that the change frightened you. He grabbed you roughly by your upper arm, pulling you from the backseat, and slamming the door shut. Pressed against the car, you looked into those blue-green eyes that were anything except nice. 

“I didn’t mean to for all this,” Was all you could muster up the courage to say, “I just wanted to come with you-”

He shushed you before you got your words out, “We’ll talk about it later.”

You wished he would just yell at you now. He could bend you over right now and you’d prefer that over his silence and the obvious disappointment in his tone, “Later? But-” He pulled you away from the car and you stumbled in your heels as he pulled you along the dark road. 

He brought you towards the last car in the caravan and Sam stepped out from behind it, closing the trunk, before handing something shiny to Steve, “What are you doing?” You asked shakily, the cold wind of the night blowing your dress. 

“Turn around, face the car,” He ordered you and you feared whatever punishment you were about to receive would be worse if you disobeyed him. Slowly, you turned around and he wasted no time grabbing your wrist. You heard the metal click of handcuffs as they tightened around your wrist. You felt his strong hands on your waist and, as he lifted your dress, you assumed the worst. Your panties slipped down and as Steve lowered himself with them. 

“Steve, please talk to me?”

To your surprise, as you stepped out of your underwear, you felt the click of metal around your ankles. When he stood back up, he grabbed your arm again, pulling you back so you were pressed against his chest, “Daddy will deal with you later,” His breath against your ear sent shivers down your spine, “Don’t worry, doll … open your mouth.”

“If you just let me explain-”

You weren’t sure why you even wanted to. He left your brain scrambled and wondering why you even did the things that you did. 

“I won’t ask you again.”

Your lips parted and you realized he was forcing your panties into your mouth. The next thing that you knew, you were lying in the back seat of that car, your wrist hogtied to your ankles. And you thought sitting in the trunk would be uncomfortable. You were struggling and calling out for him and, as you expected, you were ignored. 

“Get her back as fast as you can. I’ll keep things short with Stark,” Were the last words you heard before the door shut close and all your screaming was muffled. 

+

You weren’t sure at which point you’d fallen asleep. As you laid there tied up, you thought a lot about him since there was nothing else to think about. You weren’t sure how he could love you and be so cruel at the same time.  

That next morning, you awoke to sore limbs and makeup staining your pillow. Even though the car ride back was hell, you knew your punishment wasn’t over. You debated even getting out of bed, knowing what was to come. 

You finally mustered the energy to clean yourself up, washing your face, and brushing your teeth. When you stepped back into your room, you were taken aback by what was sitting in the middle of your room. A giant, life-size brown bear was happily perched before your bed, holding balloons and a Tiffany’s gift bag. 

It was exactly the opposite of what you were expecting today. You approached it cautiously, decided to sit and open up the present. You handled the bag carefully, finding an elegant white card sitting inside. 

For my favorite girl on her birthday.

Love, Daddy. 

You sighed, knowing he probably picked all of this out before you betrayed him and probably ruined any sort of trust he had between you. You hadn’t even realized it was your birthday which was probably due to the fact that you had no phone or any contact with the outside world. There was also a jewelry box inside, a gorgeous, rose-gold tennis bracelet inside. 

As you snapped it around your wrist, covering your bruises, you promised not to ask how much it cost. It would probably make you feel even worse about yesterday. 

You finished getting dressed, deciding to head downstairs for breakfast. You found Steve sitting at a table out by the pool, reading through a newspaper like a grandpa. It seemed like he was expecting you because there were pancakes and eggs waiting on the table, “Morning,” You greeted awkwardly. 

“Good morning, doll. Happy Birthday,” He responded, his eyes still focused on the newspaper. 

“Thanks,” Taking a seat in front of him, you instantly moved to grab the syrup, but the rings on his finger caught your attention. Below, you could see his knuckles were red and purple, bruised like he’d been punching something … or someone. “Your hands …” 

He folded his newspaper, taking a look at them himself. It didn’t seem to faze him as he folded them on his stomach, leaning back in his chair, “Your wrist,” He changed the subject and you wondered if he was amused by the fear in your eyes, “Do you like my gift?”

“Yeah, it’s beautiful, I love it … thank you,” Your mind was elsewhere, “What happened to your hands? Is that from last night?”

“Last night is a blur. I was so angry after your little stunt, I had to have a few drinks to even get through the rest of the night.”

“Really?” You tried to hold in your scoff, “You seem very chipper today.”

“Only because I get to see your beautiful face,” He countered, smirking. 

Your eyes narrowed at him, “What did you do?”

“That’s a broad question-”

“Did you hurt him?”

“Him?” Steve raised an eyebrow, “You mean Peter? I thought about it … I’m still thinking about it actually. If he was smarter, yesterday would have never happened but you must’ve been pretty convincing. Poor kid, he probably thought you liked him.”

“None of it was his fault! I-I was just being stupid, I was using him and he was just trying to be a good guy. Steve, please.”

“If I did, you would probably start to actually listen. You’d never try one of those crazy stunts ever again-”

“I will listen! No more stunts, I’ll be an angel from now on,” You stood up from your chair, moving around the table, “I know you’re just trying to protect me. Peter tried to tell me that and I should’ve listened.” You grabbed a hold of his hand, squeezing it tightly. 

“That’s all I want,” He added sincerely and you nodded. 

“I’ll pinky promise,” With your other hand, you held out your pinky. You thought Peter would be your way out but, here you were, begging to stay in order to keep him alive. Your pinkies wrapped around each other and you climbed into his lap. You kissed the sides of his mouth before kissing his lips. 

“Soon, we’ll take a trip together, I know you’re itching to get away.” 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” You kissed his lips again, “Your hands … what actually happened?”

“Punching bag,” He easily explained although you were expecting a tale of horror. Holding his hand, you brought his fist to your lips, kissing them gently, “That probably wouldn’t have happened a year ago … I think you make me more gentle.”

“That’s a lot of pressure, don’t you think? Turning a beast into a prince.”

“For some reason, I have faith in you.”

+

“Peter!” You perked up as soon as he entered the living room, not realizing how grateful to see that he was still in one piece. Sam, Bucky, and Steve seemed to exchange confused glances from their places on the couch. 

Peter seemed baffled as well, “Am I in trouble or something?”

“No, we’re about to watch Coco. Wanna join?”

“There’s popcorn,” Sam added, stuffing his face.

“And cookies,” Bucky chimed in. 

Peter smiled, unsure, as he looked to Steve for permission, “Join us, son.”

“Awesome,” Peter clapped, making his way over to the couch, “This one always makes me cry.”

“Y/N, I thought you said this one wasn’t sad,” Bucky eyed you. You shrugged, snuggling yourself further into Steve’s side. You tried to hide a mischievous smile and act like you weren’t hoping to see three grown men tear up from a Disney movie. 

“Okay, press play,” You tapped Steve’s chest and he raised the remote. 

“Wait,” Steve paused, “Are all three of your nails painted?”

+

i’m thinking maybe i’ll make a christmas themed part 3, we shall see :)

#dark fic #dark!steve #dark!steve rogers #Steve Rogers #mob!steve #mob!stucky x reader #steve rogers au #steve rogers smut #dark steve x reader #peter parker x reader #mafia!bucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #peter parker #black!reader #steve rogers x black!reader #captain america x reader

[actualbird]

Crawls in here once again since the week is almost over and i thought of another ask that might be fun, what r ur thoughts on nxx team at a haunted house (amusement park or otherwise www) -Marsh

ELLO, MARSH!!!! thank you so much for this ask!! answering this was so much fun :DDDD

okay so i decided to forgo amusement park haunted house bc artem already does that in SSR Loving Memories so we Know how he is in a recreational haunted house (aka rambling about SAFETY REGULATIONS why is this man like this smh) n i dont wanna be redundant SOOOO

nxx team for some reason have to go into an abandoned house that is heavily rumored to be haunted as hell. theyre on....an investigation. and they all have to be there all at once....dont think about it too much, i sure didnt HAHA

in the tradition of scooby doo, somebody suggests "let's split up, gang!" for utmost hilarity and also because a grp of five people goin thru a house like a pack of meerkats is a bit silly KJJSKGSF

so here are my proposed teams: vyn + mc + artem, luke + marius

my rationalization for these teams is because each team needs a "supernatural skeptic/person who isnt scared" to balance out the one in the team thats like "supernatural MAYBE this place is CREEPY n im A BIT SCARED do NOT JUDGE ME/im NOT scared i just HATE THIS"

vyn + mc + artem

vyn and artem are the staunch skeptics who are balancing out mc's jumpiness and mc would like it ON THE RECORD that she doesnt believe in ghosts but she gets jumpy sometimes!!! in her defense this place is CREEPY AS HELLS

so like while theyre going through rooms looking for whatever theyre looking for, vyn and artem are trying to comfort her in their own specific way

artem goes and rambles about the non-spooky explanations for all the rumors of this house, people like to go to the easiest explanation for unexplained things, though the easiest route isnt necessarily the most logical one---

vyn serenely tells mc Well, Actually the perception of supernatural quite often comes not from reality but from the outwards manifestation of a person's personal fears so it's less indicative of a place and more indicative of the person themselves---

and vyn and artem are trying to be the More Rational Person

mc, internally: (guys...i know you guys are trying....but it's NOT EXACTLY....HELPING....)

because honestly what mc needs right now isnt people telling her how her fears are absolutely nothing to worry about. what she needs is just her two friends being there for her even thru her irrational fears

eventually vyn and artem do clue into this and actually start being NOT IDIOTS about being good haunted house exploration partners but they only clue into this AFTERRRR each of them get SPOOKED AS HELL FIRST they gotta get a taste of their own medicine.

it's very funny to me that both vyn and artem have Really Good Aim (vyn with bow and arrow, artem with GUN) so when a sudden creak happens outta nowhere theyre both like O_O and then IMMEDIATELY throwing the first thing they can find at the noise

vyn throws a pen like a frigging javelin and artem just throws his wholeass phone, so much for rationality, huh, fellas?

the noise turns out to be luke and marius, stumbling upon their team, and thanks to vyn and artem's great aim, both those items hit luke hard in the face

well thats one way to get rid of mc's fear, because she bursts into a peal of giggles

but how were luke + marius doing before coming across them?

marius is DEAD FUCKING SILENT the moment the team splits up and luke is like "huh, didnt take marius for somebody who believed in ghosts" but luke doesnt bring it up because this doesnt seem like a light kind of spooked that luke would want make fun of.

like marius is pale, his breathing is shallow, his clenched fists are in his jacket pockets but luke can see that his hands are trembling

so luke fills the silence with investigation talk to get marius' mind of it, and luke is glad it works a little bit, even if marius' replies are monosyllabic. luke glances at marius and sees that the fear in his eyes has been replaced by his Thinking Gaze and great awesome

until they get to a room that is just. wayyyy fucking colder and darker than the rest of the house

and marius' fear slams back into him like a battering ram. he doesnt jerk back through the open doorway though, he just kind of stands there and luke is like "uh. you dont have to go in if youre scared---"

"i am not scared," marius grits out because come on. hes gotten over this, hasnt he? [spoilers for marius ssr in the darkness] fine, whatever, he had a bad time as a kid with cold dark places but mc had helped him get through it, back then, in the cave on nosta. surely one good experience is enough to completely erase a childhood fear that has followed him all the way to adulthood?

(no. it isnt. it helps, but sometimes it's not enough)

[spoilers for marius ssr in the darkness] back in that cave, marius admitted to mc why he was acting the way he was but he sure as hell isnt going to tell LUKE, NO SIREE, MARIUS IS FINE, marius trudges into the horrible room as he valiantly ignores just all the terrible alarm bells going off in and luke just like.

oh it's not ghosts he's scared of it's. the dark

luke doesnt exactly Know Completely what the Best Way is to comfort the other members of the team (theyre all cagey motherfuckers one way or another but hey, hes a cagey motherfucker too) but he cant like...not do anything. marius obviously doesnt want to be called out but luke wants to help anyway so he has to find a way to ground marius while also giving marius an excuse aaaaand----

luke clears his throat, extending his hand towards marius in the darkness of the room. "this place is old, the floor is uneven. i think it'll be better if we uh. held onto each other, so we dont trip up."

thank GOD THIS ROOM IS DARK because marius feels his face go a little warm but fuck it, yes, he would rlly like this, so he's like FINE and then holds luke's hand

ABSOLUTE SILENCE FROM BOTH OF THEM AFTER THIS, THEYRE JUST INVESTIGATING NOW WITH NO WORDS

but luke notices that marius' trembling hand stops shaking for a moment when luke squeezes his hand.

and they get thru their half of the house, hands linked the entire way, and they meet up with the others and luke gets projectiles thrown at his face

mc's laughter and the split second chaos is the perfect distraction to let go of luke's hand and nobody notices. nobody has to know. NOBODY

and of course they find whatever thing they were looking for KJBKJSDKFGS anyway in conclusion: the nxx team would be a disaster in a haunted house but theyve got each other's backs :D

#sorry not sorry for the vague marluke HAHA ive been a bit bonkers over them lately... #tears of themis #luke pearce #marius von hagen #Marsh!anon

[bluewinnerangel]

I love your blog I love your masterposts and ramblings and gayvinci tags and song analyses I LOVE YOU and I hope you have a great day. Also do you have an analysis on Perfect (did H&L really write in different rooms LOL)? Some ppl say it's about Pr relationships/closeting but I'm slow and need help connecting the dots. Thank you!

OOOOH PERFECT ANALYSIS YES

totally not just putting in gifs before the cut to grab peoples attention

Hi! Thank you so much <3 Sorry anon this really took me a while. I do have my opinions on Perfect, and iiiieee I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion or just a duhdoink of course this is the way to see it and everyone else in the room is seeing it too. There's just my interpretation, what makes way too much sense to me to view this song as anything else, so I'll share that. 

And about the rooms thing, I think it was a joke among fans because god forbid they are interacting whatsoever right ;)

his silhouette is something else

I’m just gonna put in a cut here because of course it’s gonna be too long not to.

An analysis of Perfect below the cut:

First let’s go into what they’ve said about the song, of all the songs Harry has explained (if that) this one maybe most often. Still it isn’t much, watch it here and here and here. So the way I see it they are HAMMERING on that it’s not what it looks like and it’s so much honestly it’s pretty entertaining:

First answer: “yes we write from personal experience”, but then: 

“no matter how loose that might be”

“it’s not literal”

“to be honest it translates to whoever”

“it doesn’t always have to be an exact story”

“not everything is so obvious”

“things can be taken in different ways”

“it’s not always necessarily about what it sounds like it’s about”

....and they just go on like this. So what I’m reading here is basically GUYS. GALS. BROPALS. IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. THERE ARE DIFFERENT INTERPRETATIONS TO THIS. WE WROTE THIS IN A WAY TO HAVE LAYERS. PEEL THE ONION.

So in any case, in any possible case it’s definitely not just about what they think it’s sounds like it’s about. An then the question is what they think it sounds like it’s about then? Maybe it’s just towards the GP: it’s clearly assumed to be about Taylor (the media seemed to be really pushing this idea as well) and that’s totally fair and even true in some regards as you can’t really ignore the in-your-face Taylor nods in there. Then it could be that they’re just like yeah we see it looks like this is about haylor (as a real relationship) but it’s not like that. But, and this is a reach, it could also be their fear that those who support their relationship (Harry & Louis’ that is) might interpret this song as them being casual together, which people have. It doesn’t not make sense as a thought process right? Because they wrote it together. So maybe they’re like no oh no nononononono it’s not about us together! Not in that way! and just hammer on about this because they don’t like the idea of them looking anything less than whipped and married, sure hella farfetched I know but egh no harm in mentioning it.

Anyway this song is so much smarter than it looks! Nomnom the layers lets peel. It's a really good example of what we see time and time again especially in Louis' songwriting, his lyrics are so straightforward and so simple but once you start looking deeper into there’s a hold up and you find all kinds of things hiding in plain sight. (Harry too, but I mean his lyrics aren’t pretending to be easy, let’s put it like that) 

On the surface we got this narrative of "im a chill boybander dude and im traveling the world yehyeh and you girl yeah im perfect for you if you're looking for that and nothing serious gurl yeah" which works perfectly as a 1D song. But then they’re also playing with that haylor narrative, and there are some wait that’s gay’s too. So my interpretation is that they’re being ironic/sarcastic whatever you wanna call it towards PR relationships, and more specifically the loudest of them all that already had a couple of songs to its name at that point being haylor.

It works as a response to Taylor’s Style as these songs are doing the same thing. In Style, Taylor describes how she and tOtAlLy nOt HaRrY are perceived, how they look, how they don’t go out of style because they look like this perfect hollywood couple. Perfect’s doing the same, they’re both painting this story of seeming perfect for each other, not because they’re actually romantically involved but because they’re something the tabloids/GP/whatever are going to love love love to eat up and/or that doing such a stunt is mutually beneficial (in some regards, namely money, fame, and having these narratives they can work with for their music I guess, and yeah I think it totally broke him, but at the stage of releasing Perfect this isn’t really the direction he went in with corporating that whole side to it into his music just yet).

So I’ll drop my personal ugly powerpoint slide and then do a lyric breakdown (yep I need a ptt to just barf out whatever song parallels I see sometimes otherwise it just keeps haunting me, it’s a like a notebook full of brainfarts and right now I can’t be bothered to recreate it into something less uh... chaotic looking and more nuanced, so just have this monster):

The pic says it all but let’s get into a lyric breakdown:

I might never be your knight in shinin' armor I might never be the one you take home to mother And I might never be the one who brings you flowers But I can be the one, be the one tonight

I'm not gonna save you, I'm not gonna date you, I'm not even gonna do romantic shit for you, I'm just not it. I’m truly really not it for you.

Surface lvl is “im a cool boybanderboy and yeah we can have some fun together tonight here in my hotel room but then you gotta get tf out of here because I’m a player lol bye”

Orrrrr it’s a joke: “girl I ain’t it, yaknow, because I’m taken. And not into girls. But I can pretend be the one, just for tonight tho when we step out to go stunting and get our pics taken and stuff”

(future) parallels:

Couldn’t take you home to mother in a skirt that short - Only Angel can’t do shit with this parallel but it’s there, I see I point, that’s all

When I first saw you From across the room I could tell that you were curious, oh, yeah

Yeah no that’s just gay. Spotting eachother from across the room, sneaky lil glances while standing physically apart in public, and being able to tell the other is curious? That’s the choice of word you’re going with? Curious? Really? Yeah no that’s fine.

Girl, I hope you're sure

Oh sorry it's not gay nvm he said “girl”

What you're looking for 'Cause I'm not good at making promises

back to im just a chill dude wanting to have fun and nothing else, no commitment whatsoever.

But if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms And if you like having secret little rendezvous If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do then baby, I'm perfect Baby, I'm perfect for you

Yeah so hey girl if you wanna do all these secret things in private that seem to be sinful then I’m totally perfect.

GP understanding: if you wanna sneak away with me for a one-night-only yeah we can

PR stunt understanding: listen you wanna be with your secret little rendezvous person that you really shouldn’t be with according to what we’re advised shouldn’t enter the public eye, and you know I wanna be with my person too, so I’m perfect for you to be associated with publicly so the heat will be taken off of those rumors and then you can continue to go off and be with whoever you actually wanna be with in secret and I can do the same, thanks now I’m going back to that hotel room without you byebye

And if you like midnight driving with the windows down

Style nudge: “Midnight, you come and pick me up, no headlights” / “just take me home”

Kinda wanna put SOML here too: “The story of my life, I take her home, I drive all night, to keep her warm, and time is frozen”

And if you like going places we can't even pronounce If you like to do whatever you've been dreaming about Then baby, you're perfect Baby, you're perfect So let's start right now

I mean she knows places? Right? Hah. hah.hah. But here again, like “if you like to do whatever I’m perfect”, like, I’m stunting with you because this whole PR circus is helping you achieve whatever it is you’ve been dreaming about, it can take you places where you haven’t been as in you can reach new heights (also may be just a nudge to touring really, places they’ve never been salad in the wind).

I might never be the hands you put your heart in Or the arms that hold you any time you want them But that don't mean that we can't live here in the moment 'Cause I can be the one you love from time to time

Really they’re just finding more and more ways to say the same thing: Girl, I’m not it. None of this should be taken literal, ending with “the one you love from time to time” which works for both having a .. uh.. buddy with uh bedroom benefits but also for a PR stunt counterpart.

And if you like cameras flashin' every time we go out

mirror mirror on the wall what’s the most obvious “this is about PR stunts” line of them all

Also this line counters “And if you like having secret little rendezvous, If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do“. So what is it, are they having secret little rendezvous or are camera’s flashing every time they go out? It’s basically and if you like doing things in the public eye vs if you like doing things in secret. How does it make sense that they’re doing these things with the same person, like these things wouldn’t matter enough to become seperate themes in a song if these are both about the singer + the same girl doing these things with each other. So I conclude PR relationship with flashing cameras + actual real relationships being the secret rendezvous.

It can also be another Taylor nudge ahgain (that’s me saying “again” with a sigh) as I Know Places and I believe some other songs on the 1989 album with Harry as designated driver mention some flashing camera’s and stuff.

Ok last about this line is that “every time we go out” is implying that they only go out to be seen and have their picture taken.

And if you're looking for someone to write your breakup songs about

aaaaand the most obvious Taylor nod of them all. Everyone else in the room can see it.

Baby, I'm perfect Baby, we're perfect

We never go out of style, we never go out of style

Yep that’s that. I think it’s a very clever song, I really love it, and yes they are singing about their relationship, just not the way it looks. It’s here instead:  

But if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms

And if you like having secret little rendezvous

If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do

And maybe here:

If you like to do whatever you've been dreaming about

That’s it, that’s how I see the song. They’re being smart lil shits joking about / reflecting on / seeing the irony in their situation in the most lighthearted way.

Read my other song analyses here

#perfect #style #tiny little bit of #story of my life #smart things with lyrics #this is a simple one compared to some of the other analysis ive done hah #still managed to be more difficult than probably any other analysis about this #also yeah i am getting places with the kiwi one #and some other analyses #but i decided to take a break from those and just push this one through hah #its fun to finally talk about this #althought that little ptt picture is a bit too much of a look into my wild brainbut ok #enjoyyy