#i am begging people to stop giving horrible and mean people the time of day and realize you will find something much better in due time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cosmic-ghost-hermit · 2 months

Text

Heyo! All the art on these readings is drawn by me. Take what you can from the reading and leave all that does not resonate behind but always be open to new perspectives.

The archetype reading was inspired by the deck I used today. The guide book uses examples from anime to fit the descriptions of the tarot cards. I thought that was really clever so I decided to build off that idea and tell you what archetype you are most drawn to wants to tell you. In short, this is really a message from a specific cards energy. I hope this helps anyone who might be struggling!

PILE 1

Crystal: Tigers Eye

Character: Badtz-Maru

Archetype: The Empress

Astrology: Taurus ♉️, Libra ♎️, Pisces ♓️, Virgo ♍️

Dear pile 1, you are represented by the empress of this deck. The archetype you embody is someone who is luxurious, modest, kind and attentive. You care deeply for those you love and would do anything to assist them and make their life easier. You are a fantastic friend, partner and companion. You don’t necessarily have to be a woman to embody that energy. The message this part of you wants to tell you is that your kindness is being taken for granted. Your attentiveness is being discarded as if the love you gave isn’t worth anything. Your intuition is telling you to withdraw from the connection that is causing this. You maybe started this friendship or connection a while ago but you have started to notice this pattern from the other party in this relationship. They don’t return your love. They don’t say thank you when you go out of your way to be good to them. This doesn’t mean you should necessarily cut them off. Just don’t go out of your way anymore. They are undeserving if they cannot be grateful to you for all you do. I see if you did stop it would barely be noticed at first. However, the person will slowly realize how much you did to assist them. How much work you did was important and helped them get through the day easily. If they apologize and communicate they did wrong that won't necessarily be your queue to go back to scratching their back. You need to wait for them to lend their assistance to you. That will be your invitation to return to being kind. Until then use the extra time you have working on your passion projects and aiming for your dreams.

🖤✒️🔎💻🕋🛞♟️🎤🎼🎱🏴🪨🐕‍🦺🕶️🎩🐦‍⬛💣🎵🎶♣️♠️🏴‍☠️👁️‍🗨️

PILE 2

Crystal: Flower Agate

Character: Keroppi

Archetype: The Devil

Astrology: Leo ♌️, Aquarius ♒️, Capricorn ♑️, Gemini ♊️

Hey pile 2! Your archetype is the devil. Don’t worry though, for this doesn’t make you evil or bad. All this communicates to me is you are an enjoyer of the darker parts of life. You enjoy what other people usually fear. This is definitely not something horrible you should shame yourself about. I see you probably enjoy altered states of reality or perhaps you are very free with your sexual expression. I see you like the taste of control, power and vengeance. Again not a bad thing in my mind. Humans have many states of being and no part of existence is incorrect. Your message from the devil archetype is not asking you to cold turkey your behavior. However, I think it is saying balance is super important when you dabble in darkness. You might be prone to addiction to literally anything you can get dopamine from. I am an addict as well. I know how hard restraint can be. Even doing this reading is giving me cravings to be honest so I know you deal with cravings constantly. Your cards are saying it doesn’t matter if you feed the addiction. You will always be starving for more. You will always be chasing something you can never achieve. Please take care of your body before the cravings lead to worse. When I was dealing with my addiction I ended up in the hospital multiple times. It would have killed me if I hadn’t stopped. It is okay to dabble in darkness but seriously I beg you, from the bottom of my heart please moderate. Moderation is key to keeping yourself safe. If you are meant to have the darkness, it will be in your grasp. If you are in need of a break. Trust the universe when it takes it away. You are not evil for needing. I want to reiterate that because I know how it feels to need something that hurts you.

💚🦈🪀🧃🍵🪦🥗🥒🥑🌪️🫒🍸🍏🥝☘️🌱🥈⚓️🪴🎍🐍🦎🚬👒🤢

PILE 3

Crystal: Carnelian

Character: Tuxedo Sam

Archetype: Emperor

Astrology: Cancer ♋️, Aries ♈️, Sagittarius ♐️, Scorpio ♏️

Hey, pile 3! Your archetype is the emperor. You are a force to be reckoned with. A master of your craft and skilled beyond other people's wildest imaginations. You have a plan and have been putting so much energy into it. You know exactly what you want and exactly how to get it. Your cards are pretty straight forward just like you are. They are telling me that working hard is good! That your progress is fantastic and you have made it so far! However, the pace you are keeping at is almost unsustainable. You can’t juggle all of the tasks you are trying to keep under control. You cannot do it all by yourself. That isn’t logical! Humans are not solitary creatures. We need community and connection to continue on. Humans who have been left alone for too long go hecking crazy! You absolutely can handle all of it mentally. I am not saying you are incapable because you are SO CAPABLE. Rome was not built in a day. Masterpieces are not made out of minutes, they are made out of days or months or years. You are creating a masterpiece so allow yourself time to think about it. Allow yourself the space to brainstorm and be patient with your body and your creativity. Be gentle with yourself. You are only one person and the secret you are missing is that you are not alone. The silly little secret is that you don’t need to set a deadline for the greatness you are going to grow into. One of my favorite artists didn’t make it when he was 20. He grew into his greatness when he was 35. Does that make him any less of a great artist? Absolutely not!!! You are cool, awesome and wonderful! Why do you need to prove that when you already know it is true?

💙💤🌀🪬🌨️🧿💎🚿🧊🫐🌊🌧️🌬️💨🌏🦋🪼🐬🧢🫂🥶💠

-ghost 🖤🩵

#tarot #tarot reading #astrology #pick a crystal #pick a pile #tarot pick a card #crystals #pick a card #spiritualgrowth #spirituality #spirit #archetype reading #archetype #anime tarot #shadow work #tarot shadow work #light work #witchcraft #self discovery

61 notes · View notes

espinosaurusrexex · 1 year

Note

One saves the other bingo prompt for Bucky

It’s just a little snippet, but it felt good that way :)

One Saves the Other (Bingo Game)

!BINGO ASKS CLOSED!

Grumpy!BuckyBarnes x Sunshine!Female!Reader

word count: 1.2k

warnings: angst, confusion, self-sabotage, but a little fluffy too

Bucky liked it better when he was the guy everyone avoided. When everyone was still changing sides of the street as soon as they saw him. When they hated his guts and left him to be his lonely, sorrowful self in peace. When they saw him as the villain - at least villains were left alone. Now? Not anymore.

He’s had a dream about it once. It was a nightmare. One where everyone was talking his ear off day and night, swooning about what a great hero he was. But Bucky didn’t believe it. Just like he never believed in monsters or ghosts, he never thought dreams would come true. Not even the bad ones.

Note to self: being a good person is fucking exhausting. That would be pinned to his bathroom mirror from now on, so he could remind himself to never do something as stupid as today ever again.

But it had happened so quickly, Bucky didn’t even have time to think about it. He saw a woman step into the street and the next second that SUV came speeding down main. He had pushed you away and stopped the damn car with his metal arm - hopefully giving the driver a concussion with the force that idiot hit the steering wheel.

But the actual worst part had just begun. At least Bucky had a hunch it was just the beginning because you were sitting across from him and just didn’t. stop. talking.

“The people were cheering, have you noticed that? Oh my god. You were probably all up in the hero zone, weren’t you? That is so cool!”

His eyes met the ceiling when he rolled his head back on the plush armchair of the café you had dragged him into, insisting, begging, him to let you invite him. The coffee was good but, hell, you were annoying. If only he had let you cross that stupid street. The shameful thought crossed his mind as soon as the following scolding - he wasn’t that evil. He just wanted to be left alone, for god’s sake.

“I can’t believe I’m having coffee with a real Avenger!” He looked at you. Bucky wasn’t an Avenger. But something about the idea made his body feel tingly. What the hell?

“Stop.” Your y/e/c eyes stared up at him, not frightful, attentively.

“Am I annoying you? Oh no, I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”

Bucky just smiled awkwardly. He wasn’t used to this much attention. And he couldn’t possibly fathom why you would want to spend this much time with him. He just pushed you off the road. Everyone would have done so. He just happened to be the fastest. “What I did... what just happened - everyone would have...”

“But they didn’t,” you stated plainly, “you’re my hero.” But there was meaning behind your words. Bucky just couldn’t place it. It stirred something within him. A tingle, a weird feeling in his stomach that made him lightheaded.

“But I’m not.” Special. He looked at the ground, his hands wringing in his lap. Why didn’t you realize it? He was a bad guy. A horrible, horrible person.

You just looked at him with those eyes. He’d seen them once before today. Right after he had stopped the car in the street - admirable, fathoming. But why?

Bucky felt your stare burning his skin, panic and confusion mixing in one over the reason you thought he was anything but the threat Hydra had made him - and how familiar it felt. “I gotta go,” he pressed between his teeth before standing up from the table.

“Wait!” Your hand shot out to hold him back by his arm - his metal arm. “Do you really think that?” Ant that’s when Bucky realized where he had seen the look before. Steve had done the same thing when they met after 70 years of war. That hopefulness mixed with sorrow, empathetic but not pitying. It brought a sense of liking to him, but Bucky didn’t want it. He didn’t want anyone else in his life he could potentially harm. Because that was what he always did - destroy, hurt, shatter.

He couldn’t do it - not today. “Goodbye,” he mumbled and then he broke free from your grasp and left.

-❁-

Now he was in trouble. Bucky had spent all day thinking about you - the mysterious woman that reminded him so much of the person he cherished the most. But you weren’t Steve. You were a stranger. A random person that, for some reason, had his thoughts twisted in one direction straight.

He thought about the way you dragged him into that cafe so shamelessly. The way you showed zero signs of fear around him. The way you talked to him and how you didn't back down even when he shot you down over and over again.

And even though a feeling of utter confusion swept his body the whole time, a little drop of something else mixed with the sensation, sedating him with an urge to just find you again, ask you about it and have his mind be quiet again. Well, as quiet as it would get. At least free from these strange thoughts.

Before Bucky knew it, he had put on his leather jacket and let his apartment door fall shut with moderate force. His muddy boots were shaking the stairs on his way down to the entryway, and soon, he found himself on the same street he had saved you in just days ago.

The sound of traffic still ringing in his ears, he stepped inside and ordered himself a coffee at the counter. The Bucky turned nervously, leaving against the bar top and scanning the room. He hoped to look casual, but his heart was doing weird things as he hoped to find you amongst the people sitting at the table in the cozy cafe.

And, sure enough, there you were, sitting by the window and reading a book. Your knee tucked under your chin and a hot cup of tea steaming on the table in front of you. Bucky couldn't stop looking. His eyes were glued to you. He traced your frame with his eyes, memorized the way your fingers curled around your book, and didn’t even notice how the waitress put his paper cup down behind him. And when he pushed his elbow back, it toppled over. The barista yelped, and your head shot up immediately, eyes inevitably meeting his.

He smiled, and you waved and as Bucky was still processing the little interaction, you had approached him by the counter.

“So I didn't totally scare you off. That’s good to know.” The barista was still cursing behind him, but a look from you calmed her down. It was magical.

Bucky just watched as you ordered him another coffee, almost in awe by the casual movements you made around him as if he wasn’t him.

“Why aren’t you scared?” Bucky asked genuinely, a small shiver of nervousness rushing over his skin at all the answers you could give him. He watched as your hand carefully laid on top of his vibranium one on the bar top. Then you looked at him insistently with a faint smile on your lips.

“I believe people are not what others say they are. They’re defined by their actions. And you... well, you saved my life.”

Wanna be added to the Taglist?

@almosttoopizza @sociallyimpairedme @royalwritersoftheuniverses @i-l-y-3000 @mrsgweasley @prettylittlepluviophile @dinwifey @stuckysgirl27 @wintermischief @circe143 @valkyrie418 @mirikusashes @noideawhyimdoingthislol @nikkitc0703 @lethallyprotected @erynnnn @misshale21 @wattpaduser200

334 notes · View notes

boydepartment · 10 months

Text

Enhypen as Taylor Swift songs

THIS HAS SCENARIOS W THEM MATCHING THE SONG TOO

fun fact abt me, i sang taylor swift in my schools talent show as a kid <3 i love taylor swift still foerfnerjkge

MASTERLIST

Jungwon as New Romantics-

You probably ran into Jungwon at a coffee shop or something cliche like that. You both are busy people but you want to be crazy and still feel young and stupid. Both you and Jungwon will sneak out of your dorms and do late night walks which end up into races to the random playgrounds. You don't need expensive things to show love for each other, and that means the world to the both of you. Jungwon promises to himself one day he will show everyone how much he loves you.

Heeseung as Everything Has Changed-

You've known Heeseung for years. A lot of time spent training super late at night. All that work has gone to something though- both your debuts. Everything changed from late night ramen to waves from across the red carpet. He still feels like home to you, just like you feel like home to him. But everything has changed and you weren't predebut anymore, you were idols who now had boundaries. You weren’t kids anymore with a dream, you were adults who still build up their dreams.

Jay as Love Story-

In this case, you are Romeo, he is Juliet. He is PROTECTED by his parents heavily. You've known this since you were kids and you accidentally smacked him with a soccer ball. They want the best for him and they did not see you fit. Jay was a prince to everyone but you. That bothered his parents, but Jay loved it. He loved how you teased him and poked fun at him. Jay loved being able to tease you in the kitchen when something messed up. He wanted to marry you more than anything, so he was thrilled when you asked him after practically begging his parents to finally give you a chance to love their son forever.

Jake as Fearless-

im biased i am so sorry-

Oh boy okay. You did not have any good experiences with romance. You did not know how things were supposed to go, he had no clue either but Jake will always act like he does! You are both terrified that you are going to do something wrong, neither of you ever do though. After a really important test, he drove to a secluded area, Jake knew you were stressed. This was both your spot you’d go to think. You were unsure of everything, did you fail? Are you going to disappoint your parents? Did all that work Jake did to help you study go to waste? You were ranting wildly. When you finally stopped to breathe and he leaned in to kiss you. All your fears washed away. Everything felt right, everything was going to be okay.

Sunghoon as Back to December-

He pushed you away, Sunghoon didn't mean to and he didn't even really want to. Life just got in the way and he felt like he was holding you both back. No matter how much time passed by though, he was still in love with you. No amount of time will make that go away. So here he is, calling you back to meet at the tree where you both first met. You started laughing when a pile of snow fell on him, he will never forget that day in December. Sunghoon is hoping as you stand in front of him, now in the summer heat that you will take him back. He is hoping you still have the same feelings you harbored for him Back in December.

Sunoo as The Way I Loved You-

You used to tease him a lot, he used to do the same to you as well. It was a mutual teasing. Everyone didn't see it like that though, and they blamed you (sound familiar?) You pulled back from being around him even behind closed doors. You truly believed that you were in the wrong here. Never in your life would you be malicious towards him. People made you believe that you were horrible. Sunoo was totally in love with you, and he missed that fire you used to have. He missed you teasing him. Sunoo just MISSED you.

Ni-Ki as Mean-

Whenever Riki would have people being horrible to him. You always reminded him that he was going to end up being successful while they are going to be stuck being miserable. You were always there to bring him up, so when he finally made it. Riki made sure to never forget your advice. Even when you both haven't talked since you were both kids, he still remembers the way you were always there to remind him to stay confident. You watch from the sidelines proudly.

67 notes · View notes

maddipoof · 1 year

Note

There is nothing like staying at home, for real comfort 🌷- pick a character or a few and come up with a prompt and I’ll write a fluff blurb <3

hi hi can u do robin buckley and her asking u to go out with her (which u assume is just as friends) but then she confesses to u on the date and it's just super cute

this is so awkward why cant i phrase things normally

Eeeeeeee thank you, I love you, this has been sitting in my docs for forever but you're finally back so it can finally see the light of day!!!

a/n: ummm to many princess bride references but I love it more than anything soooooo i'll reference it til I die <3 wc:2.4k Also, like, hardly proofread :( but I hope you like it <3 (you're an amazing friend and everyday I'm so grateful for you sara)

“Steve,” Robin rushed behind the counter and kept her back to the edge, a poor attempt to not be recognized. “Steve, Steve, Steve, please, I beg, I can’t do it. You have to help me. When do I ask you for anything?”

“Literally every day.”

“Steve, please, literally I am asking you to help the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen and you’re saying no.”

“I still don’t understand why you can’t talk to her.”

“Why can’t I talk to her?!” She looked around frantically trying to find you, making sure you weren’t close enough to hear her panicking. “Jesus Christ! Have you met me?! I’m a disaster. Last time I talked to her, I couldn’t stop!”

“I remember, Keith got all bent out of shape cus you left a line of 3 people.”

“Heh, yeah,” she agreed with a sarcastic laugh. “Also, I was saying so many things even I couldn’t keep up. It was horrible. It was so bad, I—” Steve turned her around by the shoulder and you smiled at her and held up the VHS in your hands. She finished the other half of the rotation and stopped Steve from running off to the back. “You cannot leave me alone, please, I beg of you,” she mouthed.

He twirled his finger around in the air, meaning ‘turn around,’ and pushed the swinging door open with his back, mouthing “Do it”. Leaving Robin to her own devices indefinitely.

“Hi, um, just this.” You put The Princess Bride on the counter. The 5th time you’ve rented it in 6 months (which she definitely knows from the records on your account and definitely not because she’s been keeping a mental note of everything you like. That’d be ridiculous).

“You really like this one.”

Your eyebrows kind of twitched in a way that made her regret so much as breathing wrong around you, but it vanished before she got the chance to grovel for forgiveness. “Yeah, uh, I really like it.”

She doesn’t even need to ask for your phone number anymore. It’s been on constant repeat in her mind since last Saturday and every Saturday before that. “And your phone number?” But she thought it’d be weird, too forward for you to know she knew it by heart.

“You don’t know it by now?” You raised an eyebrow and she gave you a half smile. She typed it in faster than you could watch her fingers to make sure she got it right, and the lack of hesitation did not go unnoticed by you. She really knew it.

“Uh, did you know…while they were filming, Andre the Giant needed an ATV to get around set since it was like, up on a big hill?” She asked while you counted out the change. She didn’t even want exact change. She’d put up with it. She’d make 97 cents for you, even though they’re fresh out of dimes.

“I did know that. Did you know Cary Elwes broke his toe on said ATV?”

“I did not. How’d he manage that?”

“His foot got caught on the petal and I guess it was enough to break his toe.”

“Oh wow.”

“Sorry, it’s uh, a little over.” Your fingers brushed her palm as you handed her the coins.

“Thank you,” she whispered and you felt the chill of her hand, but you wanted nothing more than to warm them in yours and never let go. She never counted change so fast, just to get to give it to you faster; for your fingertips to brush again. “Um, heh–“ she cut herself off for fear of further embarrassment.

“Sorry?”

“What?”

“You were saying something.”

“Yeah, it was dumb. I don’t–“

“It’s not dumb.”

“Yeah?”

“Now I’m curious so you kind of have to tell me now.”

“I suppose I do then. Do you want–” she huffed and started over. “Are you doing anything Thursday night?”

“I’m working til 6, but I’m free after that.”

“Yeah, at the- the arcade.”

“The arcade, yes. But what were you thinking?”

“Hm?”

“You asked if I was busy, was that just out of curiosity or did you want to go out?”

“Go out?”

“Is that a question?”

Robin just then noticed how close both of you were leaning on the counter. “Um, heh,” she cleared her throat with an awkward laugh. “They're having a special showing, at the drive in, just a town over, and uh, I was wondering if you–If you’d wanna go with me?”

“I’d love to, but I don’t have a car, my brother has it that day.”

“I don’t either.”

“My brother usually picks me up, we get off work at the same time so he could just drive me over to yours and we can figure out something else?”

“If you really want to go, we should go. I really want to take you.” You both smiled brighter than the sun at that. But then Robin had to go and have the worst idea of her life. Worse than following a middle schooler into a secret Russian bunker. “Maybe, uh, Steve could drive us?” She definitely saw the way both corners of your mouth dropped, but you were quick to pick them back up.

“Yeah, yeah. That’s uh, that’d be great. Pick me up at 6:15, yeah? Give me a chance to get ready and then we’ll go?” Robin nodded, mortified, dying on the inside, how could she be such an idiot. You spoke while walking backwards towards the door, “Great, you have my number. Give me a call if anything changes.” You never speed walked to the car. You didn’t even have the chance to turn the key in before you were throwing your head back against the rest. “Fuck, fuck, fuuuck,” then you realized you walked out empty handed. No tape in sight. “Goddamn it.” You were not going back in there.

***

“Oooohhh, is somebody ready for their big date?” Cecelia, your coworker, walked into the bathroom where you were checking your eyeliner in the mirror.

“It’s not a date.”

“The drive in with Steve ‘the Hair’ Harrington? Sounds like a date to me.”

“He’s just dropping us off.” You so, so, so carefully fixed a flake of mascara without messing up the rest of the look.

“Oh, so you’re going with someone else?” Cecelia leaned her back against the small cabinet diagonal from the 2 stalls. “Tell me everything.”

“You know the girl he works with, Robin?” She cocked her head. “Buckley?” Still nothing. “Dirty blonde, in the marching band, plays the trumpet, took AP Spanish freshman year? It was a whole thing.”

“Oh her. Yes, yes, I know her…You’re going on a date with her?”

“Well, I was kinda hoping yeah, but now she’s having Steve drive us ‘cause neither of us have a car, so now I just don’t know.”

“But you want it to be a date?” She stepped up to you and licked her thumb to fix your lipstick.

“Yeah.”

“Then kick him out. Make him fetch you guys some drinks, some popcorn. Tell him to see how many numbers he can get before the Fire Swamp.”

“They’re like a bonded pair! I can’t just separate them like that.”

“You can and you must.” And then she checked her watch. “Better watch it, Sappho. You’re cuttin it close. All that yearning is gonna make you late.”

“Fuuuuckkk.” You groaned then practically ran out the door.

Right out the door and right into Robin.

“Hi,” you smiled regardless of the disappointment in the lack of romantic undertones. You smiled big, and so did she, like your faces didn’t know how to do anything else when you looked at each other.

“Hi, how– how are you? I didn’t mean to scare you, they told me you’d be back here and I didn’t want to seem like a jerk and wait in the car for you to come out because that’d be– that’d be pretty, really shitty. And… yeah, how are you?” You were surprised she didn’t run out of breath, she hasn’t run herself out like that to you in a while. She hasn’t been nervous around you like that in a while.

“I’m good, better now that you’re here. How are you?”

“Good, really good. It starts at 7 but we should get going now if you want a good spot.”

“Yeah, that’d be great.”

“Perfect…I, uh, I hope you don’t mind, Steve brought Max and El, the boys had a campaign and they were all bored.”

Everything she says makes this less and less of a date. Whatever, doesn’t matter, you’ll take her in whatever way you can get her.

“No, that's ok. They’re cool.”

“The coolest.” She offered you her arm which you gladly took.

You’d known each other for months, why did it feel like you didn’t know what to do with each other.

“Hey, how’s it goin?” Steve asked when he got out to open the back door for both of you.

“Good, pretty good. I’m excited for tonight.”

“Good. I should warn you, me and the kids–” “We’re not kids.” “ –will probably be taking off early, Max wants to go look at some supernatural museum she found nearby, but we’ll definitely be back to pick you guys up. It’s a pretty short walk.”

“We have to walk there?!” Max asked with enough attitude to rival Mike’s. Steve gave her a look paired with a sharp nod trying to get her into the front seat. Trying his hardest to be a good wingman.

She shook her head and mouthed fine, then El took the middle seat and Max did the same head nod with her to get her to one side. Robin slid in first to take the middle and you got the seat next to her.

It was a fun ride, Steve and the girls were at their funniest, doing their best to paint Robin in only the most complimenting light. You got the perfect spot. Not too close to the front or back, the perfect distance to see the whole screen but not have it in your face and the concession stand was far enough that it was a walk but there’d be none of it’s traffic buzzing around you.

Somehow, Robin convinced you to stay behind and fix the radio to the right frequency while Steve took her to get a pep talk drinks and popcorn before he left.

“You’re gonna be fine. You were great in the car.”

“Steve, no, listen to me, I cannot do this alone. You cannot leave me.”

“Robin, listen to me. Ok? The whole time in the car she was smiling, she’s having a great time. She really likes you. You feel that electricity?”

“What?”

“The electricity? Between you guys, it’s like off the charts. You got this, man. You’re fine.” He put a hand on her shoulder and El handed her the massive popcorn from one side and Max gave her the extra large slushy with two straws from the other. Then they both gave her big smiles and two thumbs up.

“You got this,” El said and Max gave her another pat on the shoulder and off she went.

You had just got the radio right when you saw her coming down the row of cars. Clearly, her hands were overfull so just as she came up to the car you opened the door and oh fuck.

In a flash of blue, slushie was all over. All over Robin, that is. “Oh thank god none of it got in the car.” She gasped, though her lips were on their way to turning just as blue.

“Robin, no, what about you?!” The urgency was enough to pull you over the center console rather than out the door and around the front to brush off the few pieces that clumped together. “Are you ok?! I don’t care about the car. I’m so sorry, my depth perception has been so messed up from staring at the computer all day, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was– I wasn’t thinking.”

“I don’t think that’s how that works,” she mumbled.

“Come on, let’s go change.” You started pulling her in the direction of the bathrooms.

“Into what, I’m soaked.”

“Yeah and if you don’t get into something dry; like my sweatshirt that I promise you I don’t need before you try and tell me I’ll be cold; you’ll freeze.”

“I really don’t– You don’t have to.”

“Yes, I do. Come on.”

You took her into the family one, the big clean one right in the center of all the rest. “Here.” You pulled off the big, fluffy, crew neck and she thought she’d drop dead when she caught sight of the way your shirt rose up the slightest bit. You held it out to her and it took her a second to remember that she wasn’t dreaming.

“Thank you,” and leave it to Robin Buckley to say the dumbest joke at the worst moment. Just as she was about to pull her soaked shirt over her head, “Wow, and here I was thinking we’d get to at least a third date before you got me in such a compromising position.” She said with an unforced laugh at the end with her head still deep inside her sweatshirt so she didn’t see the feature film that was your face trying to figure out what she meant.

“This is a date?”

Really catching her off guard while she’s pulling a soaked bra, now probably stained blue, out of the sleeve.

“Uh, did you– I just– I thought–” She tried to go for the door but you caught her eye.

“I want it to be.”

“You do?”

“I’ve been tearing myself up all week ‘cause I wasn’t sure. But I really wanted it to be. So,, is it?”

She nodded fervently, “Yes, yeah, absolutely.”

“Good, so uh, do you maybe wanna go get some hot chocolates instead and we can take that blanket Steve was trying to be sneaky about and cuddle in the back seat?”

“As you wish.”

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you liked it and if you did I'd love to hear what you think <3 Comments and reblogs mean the world to me 💕💕💕 Support your creators babes

#robin x reader #platonic steve and robin #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley #wlw fanfic #sapphic fanfic #robin buckley fanfiction #robin buckley blurb #robin buckely #platonic stobin #stranger things fan fic #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #dell's fics #sara 🌷#della celebrates 100

82 notes · View notes

lorelei-system · 2 months

Text

I’m in a bad mood so I’m gonna rant about being called manipulative.

This is specifically about me mentioning being suicidal to people in the past, so potential trigger warning for that. Also, I am not actively suicidal, so no need to worry. This is about the past and about specific people, not anyone here on tumblr.

I hate being told “you’re not going to do it anyway” when I tell someone that I’m suicidal. I mean, yeah, I’m still alive at 30 somehow. So they keep being right and that just makes them believe even more that I would never actually act on my “threats” (they’re desperate calls for help, not threats, but whatever). It just genuinely doesn’t help. It makes it even harder to survive, and makes me feel even more alone. Because nobody believes me. Nobody takes me seriously. Nobody ever helps me.

And I know there’s not much anyone can do, but just offering their support is loads better than getting mad at me for even mentioning being suicidal, and completely dismissing my very real feelings.

Worse yet is when someone calls me manipulative. I am not a manipulative person! I will tell you how I feel, and I will ask for what I need. I am not threatening suicide, I am telling you that I don’t know if I can make it through the night.

And yeah, I get how what I say in this regard can be interpreted as manipulative at times. Me saying “do this thing that I want or I can’t guarantee that I’ll be alive tomorrow “ doesn’t sound good. But it sucks that I even have to beg for love and support. I only say things like that when I’m incredibly desperate and feel unloved, and feel like it’s the only way to get the person to show they care.

Is it the wrong way to go about it? Probably. Am I a horrible person for feeling this way? No!

But calling me manipulative and refusing to give me the support that I am begging for doesn’t help. It only causes me to finally realize that I can’t trust you to help, and to stop telling you when I’m suicidal. Which won’t stop me from being suicidal. And so far, it hasn’t stopped me from surviving anyways. Because I’m strong. Because I’m used to not being able to count on anyone to be there for me. But it shouldn’t be that way. And maybe one of these days, I won’t survive on my own. And maybe I would have with your help.

It’s just insane how far I have to go to try and get people to show they care, and it obviously backfires. Instead of showing me they care, they act cold and accuse me of being manipulative, and get angry, and just leave.

All I wanted was for someone to care. I don’t know why I’m so inherently unlovable, but that’s how it feels.

(In case anyone reads this far, this is not me begging for attention. It’s more of a journaling kind of post, so I’d actually prefer not being flooded with messages about this. Also, please don’t tell me that my behavior is toxic, or disagree with me, or anything. If I have to remove this post, I will. I just wanted to share my feelings, but I’m not open to discussion. Likes are welcome, otherwise, please just leave me be.)

#personal #tw sui ideation #potentially toxic behavior #this is mainly for our other alters

7 notes · View notes

clanwarrior-tumbly · 2 years

Note

Wilford Warfstash x reader where Wilford is having a ptsd episode and remembering what he did to the reader at the Manor, and he begs them to tell him that it wasn’t real, that it was all a joke, just like they have the past hundreds of times this has happened.

The reader gently tells him that, yes, of course it wasn’t real. It was all just a joke, and waits for Wilford to descend into madness and smile.

But, for the first time in forever, Wilford can’t seem to do that, his accent changes to one that it was so long ago as he sobs that no, no, he remembers, he remembers what happened, he knows Damien and Celine aren’t coming back, and most of all, he remembers what he did to the reader. And he sobs and apologizes over and over, making the reader tear up and hug him, telling him it’s okay. They forgive him. They know he didn’t mean to.

Maybe also with pining romantic feelings mixed in? ❤️

"Woah, woah..Wilford, easy. Just put the gun down.”

“Wha..Why? What are you so afraid of, friend? Huh? It’s not like it’s going to kill you!”

Despite his laughter, it didn’t match the haunted look in Wilford’s eyes. It was one you remembered all too well, knowing exactly what was happening to him the moment he looked at you in that way.

The first time it happened was in the manor, and now it comes back time and time again. He recalls what occurred that horrible morning, yet was always unsure of the exact details. So he immediately went to either you or Dark for consolation, panicking, waving a gun around, and near-tears as he asks you the same question.

“I didn’t kill anyone, did I?”

You don’t know what could’ve triggered it this time around. But no matter the cause, you had to pull him back into reality.

Or rather keep him from knowing the reality.

The reality that you, Damien, and Celine ceased to exist that day and were no longer the people he once knew. The reality that he shot you, his first victim, in which he’d go onto kill many more victims, led by a blind assumption that death wasn’t permanent and they would all just get up eventually.

You did, so why wouldn’t they as well?

Yet..the more he asked himself this, the more he started to doubt himself. But he didn’t know why.

You’ve told him the same thing a hundred times: He never killed anybody..it was all just a joke! A cruel prank between friends.

You’ve told him yourself! It’s what he told himself!

So he didn’t understand why he kept questioning whether that was the truth.

Maybe he just needed confirmation once and for all.

“I promise..I-I won’t ever ask this again.” He stepped uncomfortably close to you, his smile so twisted, yet so broken. “I keep having doubts and I need to know...am I murderer? Is everyone still here with us? Please don’t lie.”

Although you wanted to so badly give him the truth, you knew that the comforting lie is what he needed more. Because it’s become his new reality--and for you to suddenly say otherwise would...

God, you didn’t even know what would happen if you did admit it to him. That’s what terrified you. The possibilities of how much this could break his mind and do something horrendous to you, himself, Dark..or any ego here....you couldn’t face that.

He’s hurt too many people. You couldn’t risk that.

So with a small sigh, you forced a tiny smile. “They’re still here. And you..didn’t kill anyone. It’s all okay now.”

And so you waited for him to calm down and return to that state of being that you knew him so well for. Yes, he would still be mad. But it was the kind of mad you were accustomed to seeing.

The kind that, ironically, made him more sane than he was right now.

But for the first time in years, those words didn’t work.

Instead of soothing Wilford’s mind, it did the exact opposite as he began to sob, holding the side of the gun against his head as he stumbled away from you. Only a few short feet. “No, no...no, no, no! I..c-cannot be in this stage of denial no longer! STOP IT!!”

You blinked in astonishment, hearing his accent slip back into a familiar one that you’ve forgotten about.

One from so long ago.

Cautiously, you stayed near the door, ready to bolt in case you needed to. “Wilford-”

“W-William...my name was..William, wasn’t it?” He muttered, his inflection not changing as he gazed at you. It seemed like a wave of lucidity had washed over him. “Please tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear.”

This was entirely new.

Has he finally come to grips with the truth all by himself?

Well, there was no sense in lying to him anymore. So you nodded gently. “You were Colonel William J...Barnum. We were childhood friends, I’d write to you all the time..and...” You trailed off, not wanting to hit him with too many memories.

“N-No..don’t hold back.” The tears kept falling from his eyes, the gun clamoring to the floor. “There’s no need to anymore, [y/n]. I know what I did..what really happened.”

You stared at him, surprised. “You do?”

“That blasted house..i-it took them. Damien...Celine..I don’t know what it did to them, but I know it changed Dames. He’s not the same anymore, is he?”

“...no, he’s just Dark. Only a shadow of his former self.”

“H-Hah, of course..of course. No wonder he hates it when I say those names around him.” Holding himself, he began to shake, his smile wavering with a sob. He then staggered back towards you in a familiar way.

The same way he did back in that manor after waiting hours for you to wake up.

“I remember something else so clearly now. The way your body fell off that balcony...a-after I..I....oh god, [y/n].” Cupping a hand over his mouth, he suddenly dropped to his knees in front of you, completely shattered. “That’s where it all went so wrong!! The moment I shot you dead!!”

You gazed down at him with an aching heart. “William-”

“It’s no wonder you were ready to run! Why you had to lie for my sake! To protect yourself from y-your...your MURDERER!!” He screamed sorrowfully, still holding himself as he rocked slightly on the floor.

Immediately your eyes became full of tears. Not because he was yelling, but because he was finally understanding the truth of that day after being stuck in a perpetual state of denial for ages.

And most importantly he wasn’t shooting holes in the walls. Just..weeping on the floor like a child, mumbling apologies over and over again.

You couldn’t bear to leave him like this, so you knelt down and pulled him into an embrace. At first he was shocked, but then he clung to you tightly, echoing words from that rusty automaton he tried shoving all of his grief into.

“I didn’t know the gun was loaded..I didn’t know the gun was..w-was loaded..I didn’t know-”

“I didn’t know either, Will.” You hushed, petting his hair and giving the top of his head a gentle kiss. One he could barely feel. “But what I do know is that you didn’t mean to kill me. I know you’d never hurt me on purpose. I forgive you..and I never stopped loving you.” The last part was muttered quietly, yet he heard you and sniffled.

“But I...I-I took everything from you! Even your life!” His sobs became softer, muffled by your shoulder. “H-How could you love someone who robbed you of so much?”

Your heart jumped, knowing he reciprocated the feelings, but now you knew why this revelation devastated him more than anything. Even more than losing Damien.

Because Celine wasn’t the only love in his life.

Oh no, he’s loved you since the moment you both graduated, ready to set onto your own paths. Yet neither of you could bring yourselves to confess to each other, losing touch when he went on the safari and returned a changed man. You came pretty close to at the party...yet fate stole that opportunity from you once more.

Then you two became strangers again...until Wilford started having these episodes and seemed so lost on what was fiction and what was reality.

But now he knew his love for you was real. It always was. And it’s why he was such a mess and ran to you for comfort whenever the memories overwhelmed him.

Because you were the true love of his life. And for you to be here still, holding him in your arms, was all the reassurance he needed.

You didn’t have to answer his question.

You’ve already given him your answer.

#clanask #anonymous #iplier egos x reader #wilford warfstache x reader #wkm x reader #angst #hurt/comfort

199 notes · View notes

solntepyok · 2 years

Text

Dice

Pairing: Xenophanes/Gender Neutral!Reader

Summary: It is said that the Universe decides people's destinies. It decides who will succeed in this life and who will always be haunted by failure. Such important decisions cannot be made for nothing. Is God playing dice in such a case, or does he not even care?

Warnings: manipulation, intimidation, angst, elements of Stockholm and Lima syndromes, psychological torture, violence, abuse, detailed description of body horror

Inspired by one of Albert Einstein's most popular sayings:"God does not play dice with the Universe". Here I reveal this phrase in a philosophical way. I am in no way imposing on you the point of view stated in my fanfic. It is up to you to decide whether God plays dice or not.

Art belongs to @squee2020.

You don't remember how long you have been here. Time seems to have slowed down, seconds are like hours and hours are like days. Your life literally became a living hell, a burning hell. You had to play by the rules of your tormentor, a hideous evil spirit who imagined himself to be the judge of human destinies. Who imagined himself to be God, who really didn't care at all about the very people he was supposedly exalting so much to heaven. Your tyrant was a special kind of tyrant, you could never foresee what he would have in store for you this time. You had to adjust to his mood so as not to draw too much attention to yourself.

You were breathing heavily and languidly. It was so hard to run that you wanted to give up by just throwing yourself on the ground and lying there motionless. But you were afraid of the unknown. What will happen if you don't stop fighting? He will catch you. He will make you suffer. He will taunt you, and there is nothing you can do to stop him. In his domain, you are nothing. A tiny grain of sand. A new, beautiful toy, a rag doll that he can tear apart at any moment if he gets bored with it. You are simply his puppet, which moves only thanks to its puppeteer. Without his efforts, there would be no performance, and you were well aware of that.

And he was chasing you. He was chasing you just as fast as he had the first time. Your heart sank in your heels as soon as you turned around: he was flying swiftly after you, his paw out in front of you and his giant, sharp claws outstretched. His smile was horrible and disgusting, he bared all his fangs, you could see he was literally bent on grabbing you. Eager to gut all your insides, like a ragtag nasty doll that dared to look at its Master the wrong way. Yearned to watch you scream with fear and overwhelming emotion and beg him to spare you, to keep you alive. He longed to scare you to death and show you who the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are here.

The deadly chase didn't last long. Having misjudged the road, you stumble and fall face down. It's over. Right now, you're in for a series of unspeakable torments. Just the thought of your destined Destiny breaks out in a sweat. Tears come to your eyes, you cover your face with your hands. Your heart is beating so fast that it wants to jump out of your chest.

Please, do it, sweet heart. Let me die right now. Put it out of my misery!

Yet you feel nothing but a gentle breeze. Maybe you have been dead for a long time. Maybe it was just a bad dream, and now you are about to wake up in your bed at home. You pinched yourself, but nothing happened.

Then it wasn't a dream at all.

When you open your face, you find that he is nowhere to be found. He had simply evaporated. But how could it be?! Where could he be? You thought you'd just lost your mind. You have been so exhausted and devastated lately that you would be happy if you dropped dead and never got up again.

But is Destiny really giving you a chance? Does it really care about people, about you? You decided that heaven has been merciful to you and you must use this opportunity by all means. So when you found the strength to get up, you headed away from here. You went to explore the domain of your tormentor.

The bleak castle you found did not inspire any confidence. As soon as you crossed the threshold, you felt a presence, a persistent glance, but you couldn't figure out who was watching you. Goosebumps ran down your body and you swallowed nervously. You wandered what seemed like an endless maze of death, and each of the rooms was furnished with red and white tiles. Candles burned dimly on either side of the walls in the semi-darkness, and somewhere you could occasionally hear the sound of dripping water (or blood, who knows?). You were inexplicably disturbed and terrified and panicked. You felt you were not safe here. You had to leave immediately.

There was a sharp rustling sound behind you. You immediately turned around in fright and cried out in horror. A man's silhouette appeared through the shadows, an old man with a moustache staring at you. His face was stripped of its skin, and you could literally see his huge, cracked skull. In his eye sockets you could see pieces of his brain, from which disgusting, slimy worms were slowly crawling out, moving all over his head. His teeth had rotted away, it looked like stumps of logs. He was bereft of both his arms, they were simply torn off, some of his clothes were torn, and the man himself looked like a living, walking corpse.

You shuddered with fear and horror, and backed away in a mute scream, keeping your eyes on the stranger. He stood awkwardly, leaning forward slightly, he grunted and mooed, his indecipherable moans, his futile attempts to say a word or two were like wailing. You assumed that he was mute. After a few moments, however, the man opened his jaw and wheezed:

"He's he-e-e-e-e-ere-e-e..."

These words made you feel like you were being electrocuted. Your pulse thudded to your temples, your heart started racing again, and you rushed to escape.

Where the fuck is the exit?! I just want to get out alive! I don't want to die!

As you turn the corner, something throws you backwards and you fall on your back. Through the darkness, you see the one who tortures you every time again, and you begin to scream loudly. It was him again, your tyrant. A pair of bright red, bloodshot eyes stared up at you with the sheer pleasure of watching you weep.

The demon slowly emerged into the light, and your eyes widened in horror at what you saw. His impossibly huge, bony body towered a few dozen centimetres above you. His long, terrifyingly long arms reached almost to his heels. His movements were very fluid and very abrupt at the same time: he himself looked very much like a rag doll. He hunched over heavily to hover over you, and in a sharp leap he literally brutally pinned you against the wall, giving you no way out. He grinned grimly and viciously and sinisterly, his malicious smile sending a chill down your spine. You could see how long and sharp his fangs were, like knives, ready to sink into soft flesh. His mouth was monstrously huge, capable of biting through your neck the way a predator bites its prey. Blood trickled from his pitch-black eye sockets, falling in tiny drops onto your face. You squinted and closed your eyes at the sudden sensation; it was hard for you to breathe. You put your hands to your face, but in an instant he pulled them away with his enormous paws, gripping your wrists painfully and clawing at them with his sharp claws.

You shrieked. You tried to do it again, but now the evil spirit yanked your hands away so hard that you just fell to your knees.

"I'm going to rip your arms off right now and skin them, do you hear me?" He roared fiercely and grudgingly, baring his dagger fangs. He moved his face very close to yours, his breath hot with anger, he glared at you angrily, clutching at your sore and reddened wrists with his claws, digging them deep into your wrists and scratching them until they bled. In an instant, tears welled up from your eyes, and you sobbed pitifully.

God, why am I in all this torment? What have I done wrong?

From the mental and physical pain overwhelming you, you cried out with renewed vigour, flooded with tears. Your eyes and face reddened, you were weak, terribly weak, you hung on your tyrant like a rag doll. And the demon, savoring every second, drew closer and closer to you, he came so close to you that you both touched each other's bodies. Your heart raced and your pulse throbbed in the demon's chest. You closed your eyes so you wouldn't see his hideous face, his horrible, annoying silhouette that you hated so much. His body was surprisingly hot, it almost burned yours, filling you with extra warmth. You pressed your back into the cold tiles, still keeping your eyes closed. You didn't want to see him.

And he was looking at you with fascination. Now he was treating you like a Deity, something truly precious and important to him. Your facial features were flawless, they were perfect. Every inch, every millimetre he studied with his scalding breath. He touched your hair with his nose, inhaled its sweet, delicious scent. You were nothing like the rest of his slaves. They were all ugly, vile and horrible, like himself. Their souls were rotten in his dark, gloomy world, he could no longer see any real feelings in their eyes, they were devoid of emotion. But most importantly, what drove him into an uncontrollable rage was that they were no longer afraid of him. Their souls had long since belonged to their Master, there was no longer any need for them to resist, and so they simply accepted their cruel Fate.

And you... You're nothing like them at all. He just loved watching you tremble in fear at the sight of him. How you wept pitifully, rubbing your tear-red eyes, screaming and yelling in fright, begging him to stop, not to hurt you anymore. And he liked to feel power over you, to use you as he wanted. It turned him on immensely to frighten the hell out of you, to bite and clang his fangs, to claw and snarl and grab your throat, to toss you aside and watch as you were pitifully timid before him. You lie still, unable to get up. You are defenceless, innocent and weak before him.

You were not just a new toy to him now, but something much more. You were the object of his lust, of his intense, inexplicable desire.

"My... My toy." He whispered in your ear in a deep bass voice, growling anxiously. You were filled with ambivalent feelings.

It was so warm... So tender.

You trembled with his breath, you shook before him like a lamb to the slaughter. You were devastated under his insistent, intense gaze. It was as if he had looked right into your soul, revealed your hiding, found your the most important secret.

What is it? Has he taken pity on you? Does he want to deceive you, intimidate you, break you? What does he want, why is he treating you so meanly and nastily? The uncertainty frightened you. You were shocked by his actions.

An incomprehensible warm feeling swelled up inside you. But you resisted it. As if it was something forbidden, something unpleasant. As if it was something it shouldn't be.

You shouldn't be attracted to your tormentor. It's not right.

Biting your lower lip almost bloody, you could barely contain a moan as the demon moved down to your neck. He exhaled, and the warm air spread over your tender collarbone. Oh shit, not there. He still held your wrists in a dead grip, they were already so numb that you simply couldn't feel them. Tilting your head back and twisting in agony, you jammed the back of your head against the icy tiles.

You feel warm in your lower body. Your legs began to wobble and you felt weak. Your mind was clouded, you simply couldn't think straight.

It's wrong, it's despicable, it's meanly. I don't want to obey him. But I can't stop.

The next moment, your world collapsed. You opened your eyes wide, and before you could even cry out, the demon's mouth was around your throat. Your face froze in a mute scream, bitter, salty tears welled up from your eyes, and your heart, God, your poor heart, wanted to slam itself out of its miserable ribcage. A pair of his fangs dug into your neck in a deadly grip, blood gushing out. In an instant, you felt it trickle down your body.

So hot. So beautiful. A perfect sight.

The evil spirit burst out laughing. He burst into a cold and eerie and thunderous laugh. Now he was erect, even leaning back slightly, tipping his enormous muzzle. And you slumped down, arms around your neck, sobbing pitifully. Your palms were bloodied, and you stared frantically at your trembling hands, your own scarlet blood dripping from them. Your eyes began to darken, and the lack of oxygen made you dizzy, and you would have fallen flat if you had been standing.

He plays with you. He plays with you the way a little boy plays with cars, like a little girl plays with dolls. Except that the demon forgot that his toys were alive, that they could feel everything with every inch of their bodies. He had forgotten that his toys, beautiful, exquisite puppets, had feelings. One awkward, ridiculous movement and the porcelain, fragile puppet would fall and shatter. One awkward, ridiculous accident, and in an instant all the beauty and all the perfection is gone. Gone, as if they never existed.

And the evil spirit, looking at the broken favourite toy, growls loudly and grudgingly. Everything is imperfect. Everything is mortal. Everything will come to an end sooner or later.

Drip.

Scarlet blood slowly trickled down your face. You let out a shrill, piercing scream, full of pain, suffering and anguish. You screamed, touching your hands to your right eye, which you could no longer see now. The demon had just slashed at your face with his sharp claws. Two pairs of long, deep wounds flaunted across your face.

Drip.

Barely lifting yourself up from the cold tiles, you stagger from side to side, running as fast as you can.

Faster, faster, faster!

And he's laughing hypocritically again. You can't run away from him, you can't hide. You can hide and run all you want, but you can never stand up to him. In this game called "Life" you are, alas, just an ordinary pawn.

Fate doesn't really care how it assigns roles. People don't matter to it, it doesn't care about them."It's the squeaky wheel that gets the grease." That's the main divline of human life.

Kill or be killed if you are at war.

Lie or be deceived if you are at peace.

God rolls the dice to decide people's fates. Some will come out of the war a well-deserved hero, while others will fall on the battlefield or be hailed as cowards and traitors. Some will profit by deceiving someone, while others will listen to children's fairy tales all their lives, naively believing in them.

All life is a game and we're just actors in it.

All life is a game and the Masters control us.

All life is a game and we're just pawns.

All life is a game, for God is playing dice.

#xenophanes #creepypasta #fnf #friday night funkin #sonic.exe #sonic exe #reader #gender neutral reader #creepypasta x you #creepypasta x reader #tw: body horror #tw: violence #yandere #yandere x reader #sonic.exe x reader

153 notes · View notes

ink-flavored · 10 months

Text

Incorrect Quotes Tag Game

Tagged by @liv-is!!

Rules: use this generator to make some incorrect quotes with your characters

Okay this was fun :3c I did the dynamics that best fit the generator's quotes, since not all my characters are easily memeable. This also got pretty long so go under the cut to see everything!

Pride & Justice

Pride: Justice likes to say, “You can be part of the problem or part of the solution,” but I happen to believe you can be both. Pride: I’m a reverse necromancer. Justice: Isn’t that just killing people? Pride: Ah, technically. Justice: I have a new hoodie. Pride: Wrong. Pride: We have a new hoodie. Pride: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate—like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning. Justice: This is a lie. Justice: I'm literally dating him. This is a lie. Justice: HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS. Justice: *eating a cinnamon roll* Pride: Cannibalism. Justice: *confused chewing noises* Pride: Go big or go home! Justice: Please, for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. Go. Home. Pride: I'm going big! Pride: You are the love of my life, and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. Justice: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated, and got a reasonable amount of sleep. Pride: I said within reason, Justice. How about I murder that guy? Justice: So murder is in reason, but proper self-care isn't? Pride: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

Dragon Raising

Lenora: Can you recommend a book that'll make me cry? Hayden: General Mathematics 8th Grade Edition. Lenora: You believe me? Hayden: Lenora, you’re the last good person on this planet. I‘d believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning. Hayden: You spent all our money on THIS?? Lenora, putting tiny raincoats on the dragonlings: They need it. Hayden: I’m so tired. Lenora: Did you get to bed late? Hayden: No. Lenora: Did you do something strenuous? Hayden: No. Lenora: Then why are you tired? Hayden: I’m alive. Lenora: Sounds exhausting. Lenora: I made this friendship bracelet for you. Hayden: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person. Lenora: You don’t have to wear— Hayden: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off. Hayden: We either die free, or die trying! Lenora: Are those the only choices?

Henry & Priscilla

Henry: *Answers phone.* Hello? Priscilla: It's Priscilla. Henry: What did she do this time? Priscilla: No, it's me, Henry. It's actually me. Henry: What did you do this time? Priscilla: Ask me anything. Go ahead, I'll give you a straight answer. Henry: Why are we so fucking awesome? Priscilla: That's the best fucking question anybody's ever asked. Henry: People always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone’s always shouting, “What the fuck? That’s illegal!” and “You can’t do that!”. Like, c'mon, let me talk! Henry: Where are you going? Priscilla: To either get ice cream or commit a felony. I'll decide on the way. Priscilla: You know, I used to play back in my gory days. Henry: You mean glory days? Priscilla: Ah, that too. Priscilla: Who the fuck— Henry: Language! Priscilla: Whom the fuck— Henry: No. Priscilla: Don’t worry, I have a permit. Henry: ...This just says, “I can do what I want”.

The God-Dragon's Wife

Jao: Xinya, gather the others. We need to have another Yu-Qi-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-her-before-she-hurts-someone convention. Xinya: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?! Jao: It's kind of complicated, but Yu-Qi— Xinya: Got it. Forget I asked. Jao: How has life been treating you lately? Xinya: Horribly. Yu-Qi: I am a responsible adult! Xinya: *raises brow* Yu-Qi: I am an adult. Jao, talking about Yu-Qi: Is this a friend of yours, Xinya? Xinya: Kind of? Not really. She's in my life and there's nothing I can do about it. Jao: I have a bad feeling about this... Yu-Qi: What do you mean? Jao: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble? Yu-Qi: No? Xinya: That actually explains so much.

Tagging: @sigridhawke @duelistkingdom @zonnemaagd @hallwriteblr @stuffaboutwriting and anyone else who feels like it!

#annika talks #ask game #pride & justice #the god dragon's wife #henry & priscilla #dragon raising

10 notes · View notes

onyxalsolikesart · 9 months

Text

update for a few art related things that i don't think anyone really cares about

1. went to the cinema 2 hours before a screening so that i could secure my ticket - wait for 2 hours - watch the movie. i took my sketchbook in my bag, just in case i get drawing urges while waiting. i didn't. but i did get thirst urges and got a cold water bottle. didn't finish it and put it in my bag. half way through the movie i stick my hand in my bag and my sketchbook is soaked.

the poor guy is still recovering and the paper is wavy. (this happened 3 days ago. i am too scared to open it and look at the damage)

so i'm INCREDIBLY thankful that i take pics of my work to post it here

pray for sketchy okay 👍

umm

2. still procrastinating on that birthday gift i was supposed to draw. it was for a week ago. i still haven't given that person their gift. i feel extremely horrible and private circumstances about this person and my relationship with them make the guilt worse. I just am not doing it and i don't understand why. i mean i have the time to watch barbie and hang out on tumblr. i don't know what's wrong with me. (this procrastination problem has been an extreme issue in my school/uni life as well. i am actively struggling and hoping i can get that fixed soon)

3. i made a commitment to a bunch of people on here for drawing requests - and still feel extremely horrible that i haven't finished any of them. i've done a few sketches for a couple of the requests and the guilt for that is also actively building up in my chest. i want to apologize to every one of you who have made a request and i don't know wether to give up and accept that i'm extremely unreliable or just make these people wait again. i can't seem to start and i don't know what's wrong with me.

4. any of you guys have advice for whatever procrastination-to-literal-no-productivity-at-all issues i have??? i feel like i'm begging for pity or attention but i promise i'm not this is like. a big problem in my life

5. also want to apologize for thinking i would NEVER procrastinate on drawing as an "ARTIST" who LOVES DRAWING SO MUCH. i thought this was just an issue with things i didn't want to do/most people don't like to do. like study for exams/homework/etc

i still knew my problem and overestimated myself and underestimated the power of whatever bullshit's in my head.

literally just tell me if you're willing to wait and see if i am capable of picking up a pen or if you just prefer giving up on it in case it takes too long

i genuinely really like all your requests and was genuinely interested in making them and i loved your ocs and your designs and your backstories that's not what this is about i swear

umm and uh

6. i have fanart and original ideas i also can't bring myself to start. like a spidersona, a barbiesona, character designing on new additions to my ocs, etc

i am in a server with friends and i see their work and just disintegrate because their spidersonas are so cool and they're friends and i have an idea for one but i just. literally let that inner saboteur (as mama ru would say) stop me from participating and stop feeling excluded

so in conclusion here is my list of art things i gotta do

- do the late birthday gift

- do the requests

- buy a new sketchbook...

- character work

- the sonas

- overdue fanart ideas

if you have any advice or any insight/input/personal experience with all of this let me know

#uh #idk how to tag this sorry

9 notes · View notes

remcycl333 · 2 years

Note

hello, i hope you’re having a good day! this is probably going to be a lengthy ask so please bear with me. here’s a some context: i grew up in a horrible household and the result of that is untreated bpd (borderline personality disorder). i know now that i am not my disorder, but it causes very high highs (manic episodes) and low lows (depressive episodes) frequently. so during the low lows, i hit rock bottom ESPECIALLY with manifestation when i don’t see movement. ive always had a horrible self concept and had been skeptical of manifestation, but wanted to believe that there was something that could get me everything i wanted without me doing anything. i got hooked into 2019 subliminal culture and law of attraction meaning that i had a horrible self concept as a base and then more limiting beliefs piled up onto it. now i had horrible assumptions about myself AND the way i manifest. so i basically begged people to manifest for me which never worked. i got into law of assumption in early 2021, but i basically overconsumed everything i could and adopted so many different ways of manifesting. i wanted to find the RIGHT way, so i could finally get what i wanted and ended up confusing myself and spiralling after trying every method out and having nothing work for me. i tried working on self concept and it didn’t work and i lost all hope. whatever was working for people, i would try out and it wouldn’t work for me. they caused me to not only envy those that the method was working for, but lose belief in myself every time it wouldn’t work. (i was even hooked on the void for MONTHS.) so as of recent, i did the roe (@/cleostoohot) x 3dolc (@/starliet) and it didn’t work. please don’t think this is a disrespectful ask towards the creators because the challenge is amazing, so if something doesn’t work it’s my fault and my assumptions. after i saw everyone with similar stories as mine get their manifestations, i spiralled. something i had been wanting for years took someone else LIKE ME two days to get and i did the exact same thing. so i stepped back and self-analyzed like i did again and again when manifesting. i had to take a break from tumblr and figure out what was wrong with me. basically, i would always give up on the 4th day if i didn’t see any movement. i believed i could manifest and held positive assumptions, so why wasn’t i manifesting by the 3rd day? now i want to start with a clean slate and make manifesting fun and subjective to me. i just worry if i do it right because if you haven’t manifested consciously for years, how do you know what’s the right way? the only thing is to look back at how you’ve manifested unconsciously for years. funny enough, i know that EVERYONE manifests whether they know it or not and that their own way of manifesting is the right way. im trying to figure out my own way so i can get what i want. i do horrible with deadlines because i panic but i need to manifest my dream life before i start college, ive had all summer and failed at it. idk what rules to create for myself when manifesting, how to stop envying others and comparing journeys and how to make manifestation fun and easy for me without worrying about if im doing it the right way and making sure im not repeating any mistakes that could stop my manifestations. i know we can’t dm which is ok, but i was hoping we could continue this convo through asks. you can use me as ☹️ anon.

hi! reading this ask was an interesting experience for me bc i saw so much of my old self in it. when i was 16 i realized i had anxiety and told my dad and he was like "no u dont they're lying to you to try to get your money it's a scam." a few years later i realized i had borderline personality disorder as well, but it also went untreated bc of my parents. in 2019 i found out about the law of attraction and subliminals and drove myself insane trying to manifest. when i discovered the law of assumption in 2020 it took me so long to actually get it to work for me because i had built up all these negative and limiting beliefs about myself and manifestation bc of my experiences with the law of attraction.

the thing you said about looking back at how you unconsciously manifested things in the past is SO TRUE. i kinda talk about it in this ask but i started consistently successfully manifesting when i tried to replicate thoughts and inner monologues i had in the past before i knew about manifestation. manifestation is natural, we do it all our lives, so i personally try to make it feel as organic as possible. inner conversations rlly helped me with that.

as i mentioned i also have BPD, so i sink into depressive episodes sometimes too. but i have learned how to quickly pull myself right out of them within a day or 2, tops. and thats by listening to affirmation tapes. this one by Dylan James changed my life im ngl. i listened to it for the recommended 21 days back in 2021 and have never been the same. ik it sounds kinda silly like how does falling asleep listening to some man help u pull yourself out of a depression but listen it works!!! also it helps u build up the beliefs that you said u struggled with and create rules.

as for what you said about the ROE x 3DOLC challenge and it not working for you, and how you don't do good with deadlines because they stress you out. first of all with the roe x 3dolc, if it doesnt manifest in three days exactly, just keep persisting until it does. as for what you said about needing to manifest your dream life before college, it is 100% doable BUT i want to tell you that i used to set these types of deadlines for myself too. "i need to get my manifestations before summer so i can have the best summer ever!" "i need to get my manifestations before the new year so i can have the best year ever!" etc. and i want to tell u that these deadlines came and went and it effected nothing. i look back on those times and they were perfectly fine. sure i didnt have my manifestations but i still had fun and lived my life and made memories and shit. (this was back in 2020 which i previously mentioned was a rough patch in my manifesting journey btw). manifesting will always be there, your dream life will always be attainable. you don't need to set an arbitrary deadline bc even if that deadline comes and you still dont have your manifestations, you're still gonna want them and they will still be just as attainable. so stop thinking about time bc it doesnt matter. would u rather give it ur all right now, no matter how much time it takes, and get what u want and have it for the rest of your life, or keep worrying and complaining about time now and keep pushing it away by doing just that?

the number one mistake people make with manifesting is worrying if theyre doing it right all the time. just tell yourself you're doing it right and ur subconscious mind will believe you. i promise. you just have to trust the process and yourself, which can be hard ik, but the affirmation tape i linked u helps with that too

i hope this helped you, and i expect to hear from u about ur progress!! u got this!!!! this is YOUR reality, YOUR life. YOU have all the power. the universe wants you to have everything u want and its just waiting for u to claim it. throw ur past out the window. throw ur "failures" out the window. that shit doesnt matter anymore. i talk about that here, how you can leave all that behind and start over and not let it affect you

anywayz sorry this was so long but im rooting for u, i hope i was able to help u <3

#☹️ anon #asks

22 notes · View notes

moumantaimf · 9 months

Text

Block that motherfucker

================= Panel 1: It's a long string of text messages that finish in "You've successfully blocked this phone. They cannot contact you anymore"

Panel 2: D explains "If this had happened a year ago, I'd probably have retreated to my room and endured this all in silence. I didn't want people to pity me... but at the same time I want this to be known: I don't want this shit to be hidden in the darkness anymore. The guy texting me is my dad. Why did he come here? I have no idea, but I'm almost sure he got invited here in the same way you all were. It doesn't matter, the thing is, since he didn't get the password that gives him access to all the V.I.P areas, he likely is having to pay for everything.

Panel 3: D continues "...Serves him right. Not only he left my mom and me because he couldn't admit to his wife that he had cheated on her, but he actively tried to prevent us from getting any financial help. The time I tried to go to his house to beg for his help he had me removed from it by a policeman and what I guess was a maid. Anyways, I've actively refused to engage. I have no idea how he got my number, but I've been just reading his texts. Not gonna lie, it hurts and I want to reply to him so much, but I've been actively trying not to do so. I saw him during the concert, he was with my half sister.

Panel 4: Khi says "Wait, what do you mean with 'he cheated on her'? What does 'financial help' means? I'm sorry, I'm just trying to understand". Sher says "Dad... I need to explain to you all a bit how the society on Earth works and why this is a huge issue".

====================

Transcription of the phone conversation.

26:39 Do you want to humiliate me so much? 26:40 I didn't expect you to grow up so resentful. But I should've expected it. I suck 26:42 I'm a horrible person. I'm a shit father. There i said it 26:43 Please forgive me for all I did, whatever it was. I'm sorry for making you sad, but gimme one more chance 26:44 Please I am begging you 26:46 Come on dont leave me in the air 26:48 I'm literally opening my heart to you and you ignore me, and you do this 26:51 I know its my fault but you should have a bit of consideration towards my feelings too 26:53 You weren't the only one hurt, you know? 26:54 Your mom hurt me too. You hurt me too. That's why I left. I had no other option. 26:57 Come on talk to me 27:03 Daniel, I'm asking you. No, I'm begging you! Talk to me! Say something! 27:06 Daniel talk to me, I'm your dad 27:08 Even if you don't like it, I'm your dad and you owe me some respect 27:12 I know your "friends" will say respect is earned, not owed, but they are WRONG. You have no idea how things were done in my times 27:15 These ideas are the reason why kids these days go all "I'm more important than anybody else" 27:18 Daniel stop ignoring me, I know you're somewhere in this space station and i *will* force you to talk to me! 27:22 Daniel, answer me or else 27:25 Daniel! 27:30 Daniel! 27:35 If you don't answer me now I'll kill myself and it will be YOUR fault! You'll be a murderer! 27:44 You're dead to me Daniel 27:53 I regret so much having met your mother 27:57 I didn't mean to say that, I was just angry. Forgive me Daniel. It won't happen again.

You've successfully blocked this phone. They cannot contact you anymore.

#moumantai #comic #alien #cute #avali #vampire_bunny #moumantai motherf★ckers #furry #manga #deer

5 notes · View notes

txemrn · 2 years

Note

I just felt like asking this question...

how does Ethan forgive Tatum for what she did? I don't know the events that led to Tatum cheating on Ethan but whatever it may be cheating is inexcusable and from your previous reply it seems like she slept with Tobias more than once. If Ethan was so distant or was not emotionally available to Tatum she should have broken up with him. Like if I put myself in Ethan's place and think whatever may be the events leading to that situation I would never ever forgive them. I am may have felt sad and angry for not giving the time they require but taking them back even after a decade would not be an option to me.

I am just curious to know how Ethan forgave her. Like his thought process and all.

Hey, anon!

Thank you so much for the very thoughtful Ask. I really do appreciate it! 💜

This was seriously one of my biggest struggles in mapping out and writing Ethan and Tatum's love story: how the heck do I redeem her? Is she even redeemable? Especially to someone like Ethan? 😬

And then I personally realized that that is exactly the point of my story, of their love story. It's about learning to forgive, but not even just that; it's about having a love that transcends all hurts and wrongdoings.

Since you mentioned it, I thought I would give a synopsis of the events leading up to Tatum and Ethan breaking up

they dated for over 3 years (lived together for almost a year).

During a travel clinical elective, Ethan went to Houston for a week.

Tatum's estranged, abusive, alcoholic father shows up at a free clinic where Tobias was doing clinicals. Her father put her down as an emergency contact, and asked to see Tatum.

When she comes to see him, he berates her, comparing her to her estranged mother, telling her that she's the disappointed of the family

Tatum is unable to get ahold of Ethan for days

A sad Tatum gets tipsy alone in their apartment

Tobias comes over to give her support...as well as share results to some of her father's tests

Tatum becomes angry that her father doesn't have cancer, and then she's angry at herself for wishing such a horrible thing.

They drink a lot more.

Tatum tells Tobias goodnight, and tries to get ahold of Ethan with no avail

Tobias comes back and makes a move. She obliges.

Ethan comes home early and finds them in bed; he's absolutely sickened by the sight, and kicks Tatum out instantly despite her begging him to talk about it

Some other things to remember: just because Ethan broke up with her doesn't mean he stopped loving her. He was absolutely devastated. But, she was his first love, and he would always remember her that way, about how perfectly they fit together. Over the years, the "being in love" part died away, but he always had that part of him that remembers how in love they were... and then the after-thought hits him: she betrayed him. She cheated on him with his best friend. He would think about her and wonder about her from time to time, but then that after-thought would sneak up and hit him all over again.

Also, yes, Tatum goes on to sleep with Tobias again, seeking comfort from her sadness and depression. She was still very much in love with Ethan, and wanted him back desperately. Tobias was the closest to Ethan she would ever be able to get. Poor reasoning, poor decisions...

Now, don't get me wrong: for a lot of people, cheating is the ultimate end-all, and I completely understand. That kind of betrayal hurts on so many levels, and I do not blame anyone for wanting to get out of such a situation. I completely understand anyone thinking this way for themselves or even for Ethan.

I personally believe in second chances depending on circumstances. I don't think it's as black and white for me simply because there are other ways that we can betray our partners that are not sexual in nature. Again, being cheated is fucking awful; I'm not trying to belittle the horridness of such an act, and forgiveness is NOT simple. It would take tons of work to even consider forgiveness and choosing to love and choosing to move on.

But it can and it does happen. And that's what I want to give to this couple. A second chance at the love they both remember and crave, a love that they never experienced with anyone else.

Now, Ethan and Tatum aren't religious, but you know that love chapter that people have read at their weddings? This is how I view their love:

"Love is patient, love is kind... it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..."

Anyway, I hope this helps clear up some of my reasoning, and why I ship them back together. I respectfully understand if you don't agree.

Thank you again for the Ask! 💜

#you asked #i tried #open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan x tatum

4 notes · View notes

loveyougoodbi · 3 months

Note

what the hell are you blathering on about?

firstly charles' contract is not indefinite. it has an end date, they just haven't made it public.

secondly he's not the first to sign long-term with ferrari, both schumacher and raikonnen did it before him. other drivers have also signed long contracts with teams before him. verstappen's rb contract was two years longer than charles's is rumoured to be and norris himself signed a five year contract last time around.

thirdly if you think mclaren or norris were giving charles or ferrari a second thought when they made their announcement, you're an idiot, not sorry to say. norris has been with that team since he was 16 years old, he's literally grown up with them and mclaren means as much to him as ferrari does to charles.

lastly begging you to pull your head out of your backside and learn the history of this sport. mclaren's history is as illustrious as ferrari's is, even though they had a bit of a dip in the last decade. both teams have always been able to attract wdc calibre drivers to their ranks even on years when they were nowhere. in mclaren's worst years their drivers were literally two wdcs in alonso and button.

i wish so-called fans like you would go and get some air and stop posting sh*t like this and making the rest of us look as ignorant as other fanbases like to claim we are. you're exactly the kind of fan that is the problem and makes people claim charles fans are dts fans with no wheel knowledge.

First of all, calm down, take a breath, it's not that serious.

Second of all, I agree with everything you've written. Which is funny and it just means that a) you have no reading skills and completely missed the point of my post and b)you've written a hateful ask that is the definition of why tumblr is a horrible fandom space where opinions are frowned upon while simultaneously accusing me of the exact thing you are doing by sending this ask. Congratulations. Although I sincerely doubt you have enough reading skills to understand what I just wrote.

And because I love to give my 2 cents everywhere I will answer all your rants one by one. And if you are open for debate youre free to answer back. I love debate. Anyone who has shared 2 (nice) words with me on this site knows how much a looove talking and "blathering". Even when we have opposite opinions. Without further ado:

1. We don't know If Charles' contract has an end date. That's the whole point. When I said indefinite I was referring to "not defined". As in not publicly defined. Like you, I think it has one. In fact, I think the end date is 2026. Do you want a detailed explanation on why I think that? I promise it does not involve DTS it actually involves a discussion about new regulations, team business decisions and pr strategies. Of course I know other people have had long contracts with ferrari (Charles having the longest at 5 years) and of course I know other people have long contracts (did you just tell me the length of Max' contract as if im not dreading 2028 like the devil?). I was referring to contract announcements where an exact date is not given. If you had any reading skills you would get that from my post.

2. I know how much Mclaren means to Lando. I'm not disputing the importance of the contract that Lando signed. I'm not talking about his contract at all. I am talking about the announcement and the announcement only. I don't know how McLarens history in the sport has anything to do with the announcement of Landos contract please come back and enlighten me on that one so I can give you a good answer.

3. Calling me ME!!!! A person who's started watching F1 during Seb's domination era a dts fan is just laughable. I will once again tell you to take a breath. It's just cars going around in circles at the end of the Day. Vroom Vroom.

And if this is a copy pasta thank you for giving me an opportunity to yappa yappa. I love doing that.

#anon #im not even gonna tag anything its too funny #i was waiting for this ask #i get one every time i dare to open my mouth on this site #its a nice tradition

0 notes

rottenbrainstuff · 3 months

Text

BG3 playthrough - the orthon, tying up loose ends

Man, I think I’m getting close to finishing up act 2 here?

Mild spoilers beneath the cut.

I’m taking a slight detour from the flow of the plot to go straight in and kill the orthon, because my tav is starting to get depressed feeling like for one and a half acts Astarion has just been totally stringing him along, and he’s fallen for it like a total idiot. Time enough now I think for “I think we need to talk…” This act 2 romance variation is triggered after you kill the orthon and talk to Raphael. I thought after that you needed to camp at Moonrise, but it seems you don’t, rest anywhere a couple times and it should be good to go. I personally prefer this variation over the easier-to-trigger scene you get after talking to Araj Oblodra, however I do think there are important, interesting things in both so the best course of action is to save and reload and try again!

Now I’m done my second romance and I get: kisses! Yay! Somehow, I really like Astarion saying that he doesn’t know exactly what we are, but isn’t it nice, not to know? I dunno, I really like that. It is nice to not know, it is nice to just… BE, and not worry about labels and analyzing things and defining things, just enjoy experiences and feelings. Maybe I’ve just had a string of specific partners, I don’t know, but I find other people generally do feel a need to have things defined and discussed and analyzed and I find it a bit exhausting. YES Star, it IS nice, I TOTALLY agree and understand what you mean.

In the mausoleum there’s a little bit of sloppy dialogue that I wish they would edit. When you approach Isobel’s tomb, it triggers incidental dialogue to the effect of “ah yes, this must have been Isobel’s tomb before her father Ketheric brought her back to life.” Like. What? Excuse me? When did we piece this all together? Up to this point, all we have are little clues that should be arousing suspicion, not something so conclusive! Apparently in older versions Isobel’s tomb had her name on it, but it no longer does, bafflingly. That needs to be put back in, and approaching the tomb should give a reaction along the lines of “Isobel? That couldn’t be OUR Isobel, could it???” rather than “ah I see yes obviously this is the tomb of Isobel, daughter of Ketheric Thorm, whom he brought back from the dead, obviously.”

Anyways, I adore everything about the orthon encounter. I love Raphael practicing his lines outside the mausoleum without a hint of shame about it. I love how he’s like “oh yeah there’s this horribly dangerous thing in there and you’re all about saving people, maybe you should go kill it, to save people!!! (which will also conveniently express ship it straight to where I need it to be, thank you so much for that)” I love all the different options you have to approach the encounter. I love the shockingly gruesome fake-loophole-in-the-contract option.

I love Astarion getting into a panic behind me whining about how we need to stop talking and just hurry up and kill it. Darling, babe, I love you but for the love of god, shut your face hole for two seconds and let me just THINK here. This guy could TPK us and I need to be very very smart here. We’ve been traveling for I don’t even know how long now, I’ve saved us from SO many Not Good situations just by saying smart things, PLEASE my babe look into my eyes I am begging you please just trust me. This reminded me of the situation in the gith creche too, with Lae’zel yelling at me in one ear to listen to Vlaakith, and the dream guardian yelling at me in the other ear to stop, and I’m in the middle of a life-and-death encounter trying to think think think what to do. Great tension.

Arabella having a good old chat with Withers is just the funniest thing I have ever seen. I love Withers. He’s hilarious. I imagine him meeting up at the end of the day at the Divine Avatars Cafe having an americano with Astinus the scribe while the two of them sigh and thoroughly complain about all the stupid things the adventurers are currently doing.

It’s always been funny that my tav is this huge buff drow, but his strength is 8. I joked he is like a body builder - all muscle mass and no endurance. I think I’ve decided the actual in-game reason though is officially going to be chronic injuries left from whatever horrible accident / thing Orin did to him (that I still don’t have the details about) while he was the durge, some kind of lingering soft tissue / tendon damage that limits his motion and causes chronic pain. As we explore more in Moonrise and Reithwin and he gains back more memories, the pain is getting worse and that’s why he’s been getting more cranky and making increasingly yucky choices in act two.

I don’t see people talking much about Z’rell which is a shame because dang she’s something isn’t she? It’s a bit disappointing that she has a bit of an unremarkable voice, it would have been smoking hot if she had a low sultry voice, but then again maybe it’s for the best because that probably would have made me lose my goddamned mind entirely.

Anyways, I’m clearing up all the little lose ends getting ready to do the rest of the Gauntlet of Shar. I love the staff betting pool in the House of Healing. … are the items in the crate the items that they pulled out of people’s asses…? House of Healing was suitably horrible. I finished all the shadow curse stuff with Thaniel and whatnot… I was ever so slightly confused about that whole plot point, as was my oldest daughter when she did it. I’m not sure if the issue was that both of us skimmed Halsin’s dialogue way too much back at the beginning when he explained his history with the shadow curse, or if it really is just kind of vaguely written. Sorry Halsin. He really does seem like a super nice guy, and I know they worked hard to include him as a companion when he was originally never supposed to be, but I just can’t seem to get into him the same way as the others. At this point I have 100 game hours in my save game (and over 400 hours of actual play time due to all my exploring and reloading) so he really is arriving quite late to the party here.

I found an amusing little glitch - when chatting with Jaheira, through certain dialogue paths, I got the option to warn her that Marcus is a True Soul spy and wants to kidnap Isobel. …which like. Happened ages ago, you were there, Jaheira was there, we were all there my dude? Seems like this is some dialogue from an evil run bleeding through somehow: if you did not save the tieflings, it will not be Mol at the entrance to Last Light, vouching for you - it will be Marcus. Interesting!

I think I’ve finished everything I can do at this point - the only thing remaining now is Balthazar and the rest of the Gauntlet of Shar. This whole shadow-cursed area is really spooky, really sad. I particularly liked all the undead bar patrons in the Waning Moon. I find myself wishing a bit that there were more undead citizens in the area, sad little echoes of the domesticity that got destroyed by Ketheric’s bullshit.

#bg3 #bg3 playthrough #bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3

0 notes

halinlangan · 4 months

Text

A birthday letter

dont know how to write a perfect introduction to a long ass birthday post so let me throw in a not-so-fun fan theory, did you know that 27 of Fall Out Boy is a reference to the 27 Club (artists who died at age 27)? I jokingly claimed 27 as my song last year not knowing that my whole 27th year existence will make me consider suicide more often than I can ever imagine. If I am able to post this, (I really hope that it is the case), please be continue reading because you might be able to pick up something that will help you save a life. Hehe, The Fray.

My 27th started with a heartbreak and it was so cliche in movies that I failed to process what I really felt. I've cried a lifetime's worth of tears from everything that has happened after that day and I am still crying as I write this, whatever this is. I'm depressed and bipolar (diagnosed) and I am not sharing that because I want you to pity me or take my side, it is just what I am... or atleast what I am now.

So, how did a depressed, heartbroken woman spent her 27th year? Struggling. While most of the people in my age group write success stories, wedding vows, and wins, I am stuck begging for something good to happen, something to look forward just to extend my life. I spent most of my time looking and learning (stalking) potential triggers, trying to assure myself that every horrible feeling that I've felt was not horrible enough to throw in the towel, seeking validation from people, and making myself smaller and smaller so people won't leave me because I'm so small now that crumbs of love, respect, and basic human decency feels like a gift.

I will not tell you how sad it is to live a life where you feel like you're replaceable and worthless, instead I will tell you how I tried to cope up with it. I became a people pleaser, and yes, I know that word even before taylor's song haha. Money, time, energy, everything that I can give I let go as if I don't need it, even though most of the time it leaves me empty. When it is not enough, I gaslight myself that I am okay with whatever. "I'm not a ghost, people are just busy. I'm not ugly, it is just easier to compliment other people. It is not because they don't care when you sad post or hint about committing suicide, they probably think that it was just your type of humor. It is just microcheating. It is just cheating, atleast he is still with you." If you make it a drinking game and take a shot for every time I try to gaslight myself, you'll be either alcoholic or dead. Just like if you make how many times I think about jumping or od-ing my way out of this miserable life, a drinking game you're probably rolling on the floor now. "Si OA" you might think but to give you an idea how bad it is I told my boss that I can't go to work because all I can think of that day is jumping. I don't get sick that often so if I said that I'm too sick to do something I'm probably lying and is just suicidal. I've been like this so often that in silence I can hear it. To be honest, I want to stop writing this now and just do it but writing this is how I cope. I write a lot of shitty notes on my phone. Incoherent stuff just like this. I tried to learn spanish, to paint again, to travel, to go to concerts, to listen to good music, to be healthy, to be pretty, to be smart, to be good, to be dependable, to be whatever and whoever it is that people need. I tried my very best to be the best friend but you still dont see me hanging out that often. I tried to be the best girlfriend but I got cheated on and lied to, not once, but god know how many times now. I tried to be a good person but I am still being demonized by people who know nothing about me. If being mean and nonchalant became the trend, I swear I was sleeping in my tiny room completely clueless.

Anyway, I'm starting to dissociate and as much as I want to write more, there is really nothing more to talk about. I just want to tell you that the best way to save a life is to be honest. People will know if you're just making an excuse, if you're lying, if you are just making something up and they are not dumb if they chose to believe you anyway. Anxious people observes more, listens better, and see much more than what you are trying to show and tell them. We know. We know how unwanted we are, we know that you don't prioritize us and we definitely know when you are taking us for granted. We know and we still gaslight ourselves just to soften up the blow. At some point being good and understanding becomes too much that we start to pity ourselves. At some point, it will drive us mad. and then, what?

Happy 28th birthday to me. I'm not really happy but I'll take birthday greetings as a win because who knows when it will be condolences and good byes.

#suicide

0 notes