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screaminglygay · 7 months

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KINKTOBER day 1

pairing: siren! natasha x reader

summary: working on a boat sounds like a fun, but what if there is a cold weather?

word count: 3.6k

warnings: heavy manipulation!!!, mind control, toxic dynamic, humping a tail, dirty talk, just smut!, badly written description of what sailors do

an: so the time is here!!!! I’m exited and also anxious, aghh. I’d appreciate any of your feedback and don’t be scared to send me some thoughts! If there are any typos, i sincerely apologize, just let me know and I’ll fix it!

an2: there is a part that was inspired by hp and goblet of fire, i’ve changed most of it, but left some parts, since natasha is siren. felt like it was fitting. and it’s exactly how I imagine natasha’s style of singing.

(italics = your thoughts)

!MDNI!

Enjoy this spooky time and be safe!

Working on a coast was an incredible experience and for such a long time you were happy to have the oppurtunity to see new things, but most imporantily feel new things.

This spontanious work trip helped you with your mental health more than your therapist in years. You didn´t even mind working alone somedays, since your coworkers had some days shift off. You enjoyed those quiet days, where you didn´t even overthink, you just let your thoughts peacefully be and surprisingly they did the same thing to you.

Seeing things, the old things but with a different font was something you never get tired of. Everything was bigger and prettier. Colorfull sunrises and sunsets, bigger and shiny stars. But when the warm and fuzzy wind was changed by heavy rains and scary thunderstorms, you were really changing your opinion and wishing you were back in your comfy king sized bed, watching another stupid show on Netflix. Not everything was so colorful all the time.

Especially when the weather got cold and nothing was so warm and fuzzy as in the summer. When the first storm came you thought that you can hadle it, alone. You did, but barerly.

But from todays morning, you knew something big is coming and nothing could prepare you for that. You woke up and checked your phone, like you did every signle day and noticed you have one unread message, saying that your coworker, Tobias, can´t make it, because he got sea sick, from all the sailing he did this week. Which is little weird since you´re positive he´s been sailing the day he was born. But even the best of us can get sick sometimes. So youre all alone. You let out a big sigh. You werent mad, no. You were just little scared of the storm that might and most probably will come today.

When you finally got up and looked from the window you could feel that the wind was freezingly cold. Goosebumps begin to form on your arms and neck. The cold feeling seeps through your skin deeper, like a stealthy intruder, sending shivers down your spine. It's an icy touch that grips your body, making your muscles tense.

It´s gonna be a long day.

As always you packed your stuff, fuzzy socks, warm coat, another shirt just in case youll get wet. Lastly you took some snacks and a big amout of soup, hoping your heater wont let you down. And last but not least a lots of tea. As your boss always says "Tea and rum is better than a warm coat." Well you dont have the rum, but the tea will do, at least that´s what youre saying to yourself.

When you got to work, you checked all the papers from yesterday, made sure to know what your tasks will be today. And of course you had to check if the boat is in a good shape to sail the next day. It´s a lot of work, but at least you have a job to do. Not like a week ago, where you just sat and watch as the waves hit the rocks for 12 hours. You noticed that even waves have a simple patterns, its was so hypnotic to watch it hit the big rocks again and again and again.

You slowly checked all the papers to not miss anything important and undeerscore everything that you need to do today. You checked your watch and made a mental note to put the kettle on soon.

Youre working here for about a 5 months now and you still havent figured out your routine. Even though most of the times youre still doing the same job all over again, checking something, writing what needs to be fixed, checking the load, or just watching over the boat, you still do everything at the same time. So sometimes (read it as most of the times) you just forget to do the simple things as taking care of your basic needs. When you and Tobias have shift together, you two kinda take care of eachtoher, but when he´s not there it´s just so easy to forget about it.

But today you did quite good job, after checking the lower deck you came back up to unlock the kitchen and put the kettle on. When youre water was getting ready for your favorite and only tea you had here, you wrote some documentary about the first ship load you had to check. Everything was correct and you were happy that you didn´t have to unpack it and count it manually. Your first break of the day fly past very quickly as you finished your tea, that didnt make you feel warm at all. You put the cup in the sink and went on another round of checking the boat lower deck.

As you stood up something red caught your eye in the distance, you took a few steps closer to the window, hoping you would see better at what it is. It was weird seeing something so bright in the distance, where only the gray waves were moving. But to your disappointment, you didnt got the answer, it was probably some coral from the shore. You shake your head slightly and moved to another task.

When you came up you noticed that it was already dark outside, shockingly it was the same tempetrure as throghtout the day. Which was a positive thing.

How long have I been downstairs? What time is it? I didn´t have lunch... again.

As many thoughts at the same time speed through your mind, you heard something under the boat. You just closed your eyes, taking few deep breaths to calm your nerves. You put down the paperwork and the pen you were holding. Making your way to the kitchen, youve notice that you didn´t even drank much water. Cursing yourself, you drink a half of the bottle right away. The fresh water finally hitting your needs. Refreshing shockwave going through your body. Every cell awaken and all of your sences light up. Already feeling better, taking a moment to make soup and overall just refresh yourself. As you´re finishing your food, you hear it again.

Bang.

This time is was way louder, so you took all of your courage to go out and look what it was. Sometimes you were tought, or maybe you just act before you think things through. You were terrified of the dark and most importantly what´s in it, but this time something made you go out. You were surprised by yourself, but you didnt question it, much.

When you got out you checked the boat, slowly analyzing if something is wrong.

Was it an animal? A fallen brench into the water?

"Hello?" You immidietly cursed yourself. "Im an idiot." You mumble as you walk around. "There is no more pathetic and stupid way to die then just say hello to the dark." You mumble under your breath.

After a while walking around the boat a big strike apeared on the sky. And after few second of a complete silence there was a big thunder coming, that made you run back inside. There it was the big storm you were so terrified of. It was way worse than the last time and you were hoping to survive it.

That´s a little bit dramatic, but your heart was pounding fast, your hands started to shake and even in this cold you very still incredibly sweaty, like if you just ran a marathon in the desert. After few hours of tinkinkng you´ll die, the storm suddently stopped, leaving you all tired and scared at the same time. Until youve heard another sound, it wasnt another bang, it was more like a humming.

Maybe someone from the sailors is here? But they are all men. Maybe someones wife? Again, your thoughts are running milions miles per hour.

The humming sounds so warm, like the old days, back in summer, where everything was colorfull, fuzzy and it felt generally so good in your ears. You stood up and without second guessing you step outside. There was complete silence, not a single person outside, The sun slowly coming out, trying to fight those stromy clouds that were showing the only evidence of heavy storm.

As soon as your hand laid back on the door handle a beautfiul voice start to sing a melodic song. You didnt understand it, it was some language you never heard, but you liked it, your brain might not understand the words, but your body understood the melody. And suddenly you didn´t felt cold, it was the other way around actually. Your cheeks were on fire, like you were running a fever, but you didn´t feel bad, no, you actually felt the best you ever did.

When you turn around you saw her. Unbeiebly beaitiful, goddess looking woman. Her hair was red, not like an apple red, more like a bright fire that is keeping you warm at the coldest nights. Each strand seemed to catch the sunlight that was finally going up, setting her aglow with a vibrant, fiery aura. Her green eyes were pierced at you, she was looking at you, waiting for your move. But you just stood there and watched her, your breathing started to speed up. You tried to remeber evertything about her, but as soon as your eyes fell lower, you noticed how light her skin looked. It reminded you of a fresh marble that was just ready to be cast in. But what caught your off guard the most, was her tail. You´ve never seen aynthing like that and it was very obvious, because youre face made it very well known. It was mixed feeling between shocked and amazed. The siren's tail was a fluid masterpiece, a shimmering blend of oceanic blues and greens. With each sinuous movement, it created a mesmerizing scene.

"Hey sailor." she smirked, her voice sound way raspier than it did when she sang.

"I- I- I´m not a sailor. This is uh not my uh- boat... I just work here." You stutter out, cursing yourself for seeing the prettiest woman your eyes have ever laid on and you ramble out this sentence.

"You just work here? Oh what a pity, I wanted to ask for some help." The red haired frown, which made you feel sad right away.

"I can help! I just... not my boat." You awkwardly chuckled out.

Her eyes immidietly fell back on you. "Oh really? I don´t want to bother since you´re not the sailor of this boat." Her voice sounded so soft, yet harsh at the same time. It was luring you, by every word she said, you felt different emotion each time. A good emotions.

"I mean I´m on a shift now, so teoretically I am sailor of this boat." You smiled, youre pupils were so big and you felt like you were in euhporia.

She smiled softly. Her smile could make a whole army fall to their knees. You knew it, but most imporatnly she did too. But there was only one person she want to fall on their knees. And that person was you.

"Okay then, sailor..." her raspy voice now coming lower to your body, slowly eletrucing you. "I just need a little favor, my tail..." She let out a little whine, completly changing her body language. She didn´t seem so confident, she looked so fragile and sad. And you have to help her.

"Are you hurt?!" You imidditetly walk closer to her. Crouching so youre on the same eye level. She place her hand on yours, looking at you and finally, she bonded. Her touch made you feel cold and warm at the same time. Butterflies flying everywhere not just in your stomach and her eyes. Her captivating eyes has already read you like a whole book. Her eyes were an entrancing shade of emerald, deep and captivating like the hidden depths of the sea. They held an enigmatic allure, with a hint of mischief and ancient wisdom that drew you in, ensnaring your heart and mind.

"A little-" she sigh and looks away. "-maybe you can help me get back, to safety, where no one can find us." The soft spoken woman look at you, making eye contact again, while her hand is still on yours.

"Us?" Your words caught her off guard.

"Yes, us, darling. You know, not all people are kind as you are. Youre the only one who ever made me feel safe. Youre the only one i can trust now. Youre-" she blinks a few times, leaning closer to you. "-youre my saviour. Will you help me, darling? Help us to get to safety? The world is too cruel and we need to decide right now."

This was the task you were waiting your whole life on here. Make sure she is safe, there is nothing else that is more important than this. You nod, still making eye contact.

"I will. Of course!" You nod again, taking this job very seriously, as you felt like you were born for this.

"Say it. Say what you were made to do, darling." Raspiness was now the only thing that you´ve heard. You were less and less interested in your work and your tasks before her.

Before her there was... was there anything before her?

"I will help you. I will help us get to safety." Your eyes scanned her face, hoping these words will help her.

"Thank you my darling, will you follow me? Please?" her eyes were watery, she´s holing back tears and that tears your heart.

"Yes." You say without hasitation.

"Yes, what, darling?" She asks.

"Yes, uh-" suddnely you feel this sensation, your head feels fuzzy and your view is more and more bright. Your words are caugh up in your throat, when you looked at her lips you can see them moving, but your ears cant catch the word she´s saying. But your mind does.

"Yes, mistress." you whisper back as it´s the only thing you can say.

As you closed your eyes for a second, the world around you seemed to blur and fade. The warm feeling never leaving your side.

Time itself shifted, as if you were wrapped in a comforting cocoon. The soft, rhythmic sound of waves crashing against the shore became a lullaby and there is it was again. Her singing. Her soft and heart warming singing.

When you finally stirred, it was as if you had awakened in a dream. The dimly lit cave, adorned with iridescent seashells and many other decorations, that suited the cave. And there, before you, was a siren of unparalleled beauty, her emerald eyes reflecting the cave's soft luminescence.

"Hello, darling..." she slowly moved towards you "...slept well?" her smirk grew wider as she saw your hand immidietly going between your legs as there was some unbeliveble aching you were feeling.

"I- uh huh" You only nod, not realizing that your hand is going lower on your body.

The siren´s hand falls on your cheeks as she tuck some of your falen hair behind your ear. Not even for a second breaking eye contact. Without second thinking you grab her hands and put them on your body, that was covered in your wet clothes.

"P-please!" Was all you could have said. She just chuckled and squeezed your breasts.

"You don´t even know my name and you want me to fuck you? Aww darling, youre way easier than I thought you would be. So so so easy" She tsked and suddenly, you didn´t felt her hands on you anymore.

"I don´t care!" You yelp as the aching was even worse now. Is this what drugs do to you? You just want more and more and still it isn´t enough.

The siren looked at you shocked, her hand was placed on her chest as a sign of being offended. "Darling, you don´t care what my name is? That´s rude." She pout. Tears immidietly filling her eyes. "And I thought you don´t want to hurt me, yet you´re just like the others." She looked away.

"Wait- No, no, no! Im not like the others, Im sorry! Im so sorry! I want to know your name. Oh gosh I didn´t want to be so selfish!" You grabbed her arm. "Please, tell me your name, I bet it´s beautiful just like you!"

"You think Im beautiful?" Her green eyes falling back on you.

"Very." You nod.

"It´s Natasha." She wiped her tears.

"Okay, Natasha. Im sorry for being selfish, It was really mean, let me make it up to you, please." You felt so sad, like every joy just left your body forever. Like you didn´t even experience a single happy thing in your life. Like everything was just dark.

"You´re right, you did act very selfish and mean. And you should definetly make it up to me, (Y/N)." Natasha seems so small right now, like a small fish in a big dark ocean.

"Anything you want, just please- forgive me." You basically whined at this point.

"(Y/N), you truly hurted my feelings, I don´t know. How can i trust you not hurting me again?" The horrible feeling of guilt is forming not just in your stomach, but also in your head now.

Natasha looked really hurt by your words. And you felt like if you´ll lose her, you´ll lose yourself, forever.

You squeezed her hand. "I will never. How can i prove it to you? Please..." You knew this will work. "... mistress, let me prove to you, I won´t ever hurt you and Im truly so sorry!"

Her eyes shifted, her pretty green color in her eyes just dissapeared and turned into black.

"Take of your clothes. They´re wet, you will get sick. Aren´t you cold, darling?" At her words you did feel the cold breeze. Actually you were freezing.

"Y-y-yeah, Im freezing." You said while your teeth chattered.

"Oh, darling! Clothes off, righ now!" She ordered and you did as she told. "I don´t want you catch a cold!" Her voice was caring, so caring you didn´t think you deserve it, after how mean you´ve been acting towards her.

As you stand there, completly naked the shivering didn´t end, it got even worse and your nipples could cut dimonds now.

"You´re still cold? Oh, darling, come here." She pointed at her tail. "My tail is warm, it´s gonna keep you from freezing to death." Her smile could cure everything negative thing in this world.

Without second guessing you almost jumped at her, your hand wanting to touch her tail, but you stopped yourself. "May I? Mistress?" Natasha just nodded. You hand immidietly touching her tail.

It´s so soft, oh my god and warm! So so warm.

"Sit on it, darling." She take your hands and guided you on her tail. "It will make you warm, so warm, it will end the shivers, I promise."

So you did. You sat on her tail and if you felt tingles everywhere before, then now there are tignles even in places you don´t have. Running your fingers along its sleek, supple surface was like caressing a piece of heaven. Its velvety texture and gentle, soothing warmth enveloped you in a sense of euphoria, as if you were touching a living embodiment of comfort and enchantment, a sensation that melted away all of your less important other thoughts.

Natasha noticed you´re still shivering and put her hand on your hips. "Darling, if you start to move you will stop shivering. Fast friction makes heat and you really need to be in heat now, darling." Natasha was right, her words were exactly what you needed, but you just didn´t know how.

How can I do this? I don´t want to hurt her tail.

"You won´t hurt my tail, darling. I will guide you, okay?" Her strong hands squeezed your hips and slowly made you move back and forth. "Just like that, you´re doing so good."

After a little while you start to get the hang of it and you felt that amazing friction again. Everything started to feel so good, all the lost joy, all the good feeling are back. All the happy thoughts.

"Oh my god- it´s really working!" You screamed.

"I know, darling. I can feel you on my tail. Keep going." She wispered in your ear.

You did. Oh boy, you did. You moved your hips back and forth faster and faster. And at the same time it got easier, maybe it´s the tail, or maybe it´s the fact that your juices were all over Natasha.

You definetly felt the heat.

Few moments before you came and let all of your juices on the siren´s tail, she started to sing again. In the same language you couldn´t understand before, but you can now. It´s like you know the song all your life.

"Come seek us where our voices sound,

We cannot sing alone in the dark,

And while you're searching, ponder this:

We're gonna take what you'll sorely miss,

But not for long you gonna think,

Let us help, and you won´t sink.

Your life might have been so perfect,

Too late, it's gone, it won't come back."

After the red head stopped singing, she looked at you and finally closed the gap between you two. Your first kiss was a moment of exquisite tenderness, a meeting of souls that overlap the boundaries of land and sea. As their lips brushed together, it was a gentle, captivating exchange of warmth and desire. In that soft, lingering kiss, they found a connection that was as deep and boundless as the ocean itself, a love that defied all expectations and left you utterly in her arms.

"I forgive you, darling." Natasha said and you knew, you found your life task. As she holds you close on her tail your eyes fell back into the warm fuzzy feeling, you didn´t mind be in forever.

Hope you enjoyed first day of KINKTOBER!

Thank you for reading!!!

#adele writes #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #kinktober 2023 #marvel universe #natasha romanoff smut #siren!nat #first day

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craycraybluejay · 3 months

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apparently it is morally wrong to have a crush/sexual feelings for anyone in general. Like. the whole 'dont sexualize literal people ewwww.' i really really wish less teens were on the internet because of this kind of stuff. we are mass-producing mental illness and i am not kidding.

like imagine being 15, having a crush on someone in your class, going on the internet, and being bombarded with all sorts of people saying its wrong to experience sexual thoughts towards people in your peer group. its wrong for adults to have sexual thoughts about other adults. its even more wrong for you, a teen, to have sexual thoughts about your classmates.

you are 16 now and very lucky to be in therapy with a well off enough family. you confess to your therapist how evil you are for wanting to touch or look at that one girl in your class. she looks at you with confusion, like how your mother looks at you when you ask her why you have a computer and your friend doesn't. why is it fair. everyone's confused about you and you are confused too. you're evil, you must be, because you have dirty disgusting feelings. you deserve to be mocked online, says dogluvr15089. you're an evil monster, says @Official Priest of West California. you're a pervert and sexual predator, says fandom_m0m321. they have stupid names and no faces-- but if all of them are saying it then it must have some truth to it, right? your therapist is saying something but you don't hear her, you're in your head wondering if you should punish yourself, how you should punish yourself. when you're back in the room with her you ask her what's wrong with you. she writes you a diagnosis for ocd and anxiety. you take the drugs, like the good, righteous, pure teenager you want to be. they make you feel weirdly empty, and not very hungry, and kinda sleepy. they might give you dementia in your 50s but who cares. you deserve it for being gross. you look through the comments even on other people's stuff, the comments telling them the same thing you were told. you're still punishing yourself for natural feelings-- seeking out the same degrading bullying when you don't get enough of it. you don't tell your therapist you are doing this; because you know she would tell you to stop and you don't want to stop. it's a compulsion. you talked about those last Tuesday.

you're 17. you haven't asked anyone out. by some miracle, a girl who likes you takes the initiative. you stumble through the date awkwardly and anxiously, trying not to touch her, flinching away when your fingers brush over a cheap burger. she asks if you're okay, and then asks, "don't you like me?" She asks, "why do you look like you're scared of me or something?" You stay silent. But then when it happens again, she gets up to leave and the rejection causes the dam to break. You try not to cry, because that's Emotional Manipulation. You choose your words carefully, because you don't want to accidentally Gaslight her like the evil thing you are. You stumble through it but you tell her you're sorry, you tell her you've never had the chance to date. You tell her, shaking like a leaf, like a dumb idiot, that you really really like her and she's very pretty and you're scared to say Hot or Sexy so you don't. And you tell her you're scared. You're really scared she'll see you're a bad person and leave you for someone more pure and good. You try really hard to phrase it like a PR team would. She tells you that's ridiculous, laughing like sunshine and kisses and god, sex. But most of all you've never heard someone so flippantly tell you how ridiculous of a notion that is. She makes you feel brave. You tell her what people have been telling you, scared that you're Trauma Bonding her but pushing through. She, with more surprise, again tells you it's ridiculous. She's not laughing anymore, but you want to make her laugh. You ask with a voice too small for your age if its okay you think her laugh is really sexy. She smiles so brightly its blinding, and says she thinks you're sexy too. You hold hands when you leave together. You go on more dates later, and the two of you talk about your problems and your dreams. And she shows you how to yell at "internet dumbasses." And you still go to therapy except this time you think it's working, because this time you Get It. You get it's ridiculous, and you're happy enough to try to heal.

And you know what? You're one of the lucky few that got that chance. Many teens struggle with mental health problems due to the internet. Not all of them are caused by this purity bullshit. Some of it is body image-- accounts that encourage eating disorders and low self-esteem. Some of it is trends and feeling lonely and unlikeable. Social media doesn't just excaberate mental illness. Sometimes it really and truly produces it and this fact needs more awareness.

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blessedshortcake · 7 months

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My opinion on the finale episodes below the cut. Obviously spoiler warning lol

First of all. I see people say it was really underwhelming and i kinda have to agree? It wasnt a Bad ending or a lazy one or whatever words have been thrown around tho imo. I feel like with all the hype about how "painful" and emotional itll be from the VA and from everyone, we all just expected more tragic outcomes or something.

I am dissappointed because of that as well. I liked how Simon finally reflected a bit and had some self awareness about their situation with Betty. I loved that he didnt become Ice King again or that they didnt do some actual time travel to "fix" stuff. I also liked that they didnt necessarily made him a bad husband (?/boyfriend?) he kinda just never realised that Betty has been putting more into their duo than he was.

That doesnt make him innocent tho b4 someone comes at me. He was a bit too self absorbed but i dont think he was entirely selfish either. He was a person who made mistakes and didnt realise them. The line where he said smt like "i wish we could have talked like this before" also makes it pretty clear to me that Betty never really spoke up about these things either. Golbetty had to make him aware and tbh? I think that was more Golb than Betty.

The whole Scarab ordeal felt a bit. Ehhhhhh I dont know. His anger reaction to things suddenly becoming "canon" (lmao) was very nice to see but him being allowed to wreck havoc like that for a good while felt more like an excuse to bring the others into this world. I dont have a problem with it btw i just dont see the point why we need Farmwold Jay and Little... I forgot her name damn. Also whys Babyworld Finn here 😭 (i get it, he was in the tank, i dont mean literally i mean Why)

As much as i was soooo mad when LSP freed the scarabs it was very in character. I like how it was a thing that he likes animals from the start so it wasnt senseless stupidity, it was something he would do even tho it was the wrong thing to do. Made me pause and lay down to stare at the ceiling in frustration for a solid minute i cant lie, still in chacter tho.

But alas. I like how in the end it all didnt turn magical (completely since ig its partially magical with Cake and everything else) and how Cake finally cooled down about the crown. IM ALSO SO HAPPY THEY KEEP IN TOUCH WITH SIMON OVER THE PHONEEE!! But yea him wanting to move was so real and I hope he does lmao he deserves it.

I only kinda wish they made him reconnect with Marcy a bit more. I am actually pretty dissappointed that we dont know if he ended up reaching out to her more or not. I understand his situation with not wanting to spook her, i actually feel that bit in a soul connecting level good god, but idk. Im at least happy he is Literally in therapy now

(Kinda makes me wonder tho if he spent the time between the end of AT and the start of FC with no like therapist or psychologist. Just rawdogging his mental illness about everything. Mood tbh but like did he? Did he??)

Anyway despite my slight dissappointment i am actually pretty happy with the outcome. I really liked the theories and the ideas of how Simon may make FC magical or what he will become but tbh this is probably the best outcome. Everyone got a happy/hopeful ending (minus Farmwold Finn ig who im atp assuming is dead. Also Star Marceline and PB) which i am really REALLY happy about.

I gotta say I already wanna write fanfic about these guys so inspirational effect granted. Woooo.

Tldr

I was kinda dissappointed because it was overhyped about how emotional it will be when it really wasnt but other than that I am really happy about how the ending turned out save for the alternatives staying in FC

Edit: I SEE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THE WHOLE SHOW DONT TELL THING AND TBHHH??? TTTTBBBHHHH??? YEAH. IT WAS ALL JUST TALKED ABOUT LIKE WHAT ABOUT SYMBOLISM? MY GOD.

Also Simon had like 10 minutes to get closure with Betty which was horrifically rushed but again, when your wife turns into Basically God you kinda dont really have a choice to chit chat. Still not happy about it but again, could have been worse. Could have been much worse.

#fionna and cake spoilers #fionna and cake #fiona and cake #fiona and cake spoilers #long post

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weaver-z · 10 months

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Hiya! just wanted to show you more support after the mess of transphobic lesbophobic people on your post.

I have seen this rhetoric around some queer spaces and felt so isolated and hurt by other queer peopel invalidating both of my identities (trans woman and lesbian) and seeing support from other queer people who aren't invested and dont care about harm to trans women or lesbians, I really really appreciate you standing up to this stuff, It helps me feels less isolated and know there are people who don't buy this crap. I hope you have a good day today and know that you're awesome!

(cw mild trauma talk related to thing)

I have trauma around being forced to be with men because of my therapist who withheld access to hormones for me unless I was actively in relationships with men to 'prove how woman i was' and grew up around 4chan queer people who agreed with the transphobic homophobic people in their environment for the slightest bit of being allowed to be non cishet acting and this hits a particularly painful chord for me of internalized transphobia and homophobia that I know is linked to this stuff, especially from some toxic bi people I was abused by who reiterated this "everybody is a little bi so its okay if i creep on lesbians and try and get in their business or trans people calling them something they dont identify with)

Thank you so much for this ask, and I am so sorry you had to go through that. I actually saw your tags on my post earlier and thought about reaching out to send support, but I was worried I'd overstep.

I totally understand if you don't have the emotional bandwidth to do this, but what your therapist did to you was wildly unethical, and I think you have grounds to file a report about them to your local/state/provincial board of licensed therapists. Even disregarding the terrible homophobia and transphobia of that therapist's actions, requiring a client to date anyone in order to acquire medicine is horrible.

Regardless of whether you take action or just need to focus on healing, I wish you all the best.

#ask #manicsystemic #transphobia /#lesbophobia /

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justanothersyscourse · 1 year

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hi ok so !! about your post on singlets in syscourse i just want to say i agree with you! i'm a singlet and my ex is a DID system, and during all the time i knew they were a system (2 years+) and the time we dated (almost a year) i've never really been able to partake (in good faith) in syscourse because i'm a singlet. i've spent over 2 years learning as much as i can about DID and OSDD and sometimes i'd like to partake in some syscourse and each time i try (in good faith! i cant emphasize that enough) both sides treat me like shit. like you said, singlets dont have a place in ALL discussions (i certainly wouldnt and dont want to stick my nose everywhere) but yeah there's a time and a place and like you said, to engage in constructive and positive conversations, which is exactly what i'd like to do. but even in those times and places both sides shut down whatever a singlet says, even if they do actually have some kind of standing in the discussion (like the examples you gave), say things in good faith and have knowledge of what they're talking about (like you also said). i've never really seen anyone display this opinion so kudos to you for voicing that!

My partner has been with us for ten years, and they've known about us for six of those years.

When he first found out, he went looking for resources, and one of the first ones he found was called The Significant Other's Guide to Dissociative Identity Disorder. It's a funny, honest guide written by another singlet partner. It talks about the good and the bad, insurance, therapy, hospitals, etc. Most importantly, it talks about what to expect from your system partner.

It wasn't until a few years later that he showed us this guide, and he explained that the brutally honest take on system behavior helped him become a better spouse for us. It talks bluntly about how systems are selfish by nature. Not in a negative way, just as a matter of fact. We have so much going on in our heads that sometimes it's really hard for us to keep our partners in mind, as well, and it comes across as selfishly absorbed, at times. It talks about how to handle that kind of behaviour, and the rewarding love you get in return.

But that REALLY struck me. It was true, and so was a lot of other, negative stuff (stereotypes?). It kind of put my partner in a new light for us-- we gained a huge amount of respect for him and appreciation for the things he put up with and tried to work with us on. Of how much work he put in and how much patience he had.

Singlets have an incredibly unique view on certain aspects of the disorder and of system life that is SO important to the conversation. I wish he had shown it to me earlier, but he said he didn't think I was in a place to hear it back then, and he was probably right. I wouldn't have taken it as positively and it wouldn't have had such a profound impact on us. Now we do our best to stay mindful of things-- so that we can be better, too.

Singlets tend be an unbiased, outside view. It's why anyone with half a brain encourages questioning systems to see a therapist. Traumatized, mentally ill individuals tend NOT to be good judges of... Much of anything, really. Themselves, situations, other people. I can't tell you how many times I was TEN THOUSAND PERCENT SURE I was a making a safe, smart decision, and he was behind me, rolling his eyes, waiting patiently for me to come to my senses, and then I'd run crying back to him when it all went to shit, because holy crap, that was dumb of me.

He also is VERY aware of the nuances of syscourse, he hears me talk about it daily. He engages with it through me. He's done enough of his own research to form his own opinions and thoughts so he can support me, and/or tell me when I'm being a proper little shit.

I talked recently about the unique perspectives of people who dipped their toes into plurality and DID/OSDD, and realized/admitted they weren't systems, and those who realized it was something else. Those perspectives are just as unique and useful in helping other systems figure their stuff out. They do understand syscourse. They've likely engaged in it before. They're allowed to, still.

Singlets who have never met a system in their life, but have a peer reviewed paper in have are goddamn allowed in syscourse to share it and talk about it.

They sure as fuck might be wrong, but they have every right to get involved, when and where they're welcome.

👏 Singlets 👏 have 👏 a 👏 place 👏 in 👏 syscourse 👏

Anon, you are welcome in my community <3

#syscourse

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girlwithfish · 6 months

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hii hope this isn't weird but i saw all your posts about your partial hospitalization program and i might actually start going to one soon so i wanted to ask what an average day is like and what to expect ! hope your treatment is going well!!

hii! thank u ^-^ i know its scary i was vrery anxious to start but my first 3 days have been going pretty well!! it was overwhelming for me at first esp if ur not used to being in a group setting but the ppl in my group r pretty nice! and i really like most of the therapists on staff, i think this is important bc if u dont like them maybe itd be not as bearable or like a pleasant experience 😭 ofc everything im saying is specific to my program nd stuff so urs could be run different! but my php has around 6-7? ish therapists on staff and a different member leads group sessions thru out the day and they rotate, sometimes 2 therapists at once. and its a diff therapist on the schedule and not rly consistent idk how they determine that lol. but i rly get a lot out of each therapists insights and find the sessions to b pretty helpful. i treat it like school honestly where i try to be very active in listening the whole day and take in what theyre saying and take notes from discussions and anything that resonates with me. they give us a binder bc there r a lot of handouts and also give a journal so i use both a lot and treat it like a class. it can be comforting to be around other people who are in a similar place as u where they also had to go to a 6 hour a day program, makes u feel a little less lonely. my program is very dbt and cbt centered, w an emphasis on skills. we have a different topic each week, like last week was emotions and this week is connection & communication. they break up sessions into an hour each and we have an hour for lunch at 12. since its not a super long term thing, w a lot packed into the short term as they prepare u for IOP (intensive outpatient) its def overwhelming at times cuz ur at therapy for six hours a day for five days a week so im rly trying to try to find relaxation outside of therapy nd ways to unwind. theres around 12ish ppl in my group who ur with every day. everyone ur has a different care plan and schedule, w ppl moving down to IOP and usually at least one new person to a couple new ppl a day since ive been here. so the group ur w does change every day a little just bc everyones on a different track. we're assigned a therapist who u meet with once a week for 50min and also a psychiatrist who u also meet w once a week. therapists will pull u out of session to talk w u or go over safety plan n stuff. every morning they have u fill out a check in sheet with u assessing ur SUD (subjective units of distress) score, if ur having any thoughts of sh suicide or intents. asks u of an achievement ur proud of in the past 24 hrs, any notes for ur therapist, what skills uve used in the past day. we also have music therapist who comes in a couple days a week and yoga once a week. good luck!!! its a lot but uve got this! remember to take time for urself and unwind after therapy. if u have any other questions lmk i hope this helped!! genuinely the ppl on staff here r very nice so it definitely makes this place more pleasant for me and the content is very insightful. i like how things r run here and dont have many complaints. if ur looking into diff programs definitely check the reviews for the place on google or smth bc the place i go to i had a positive outlook toward when i was anticipating starting bc there were a lot of good reviews and ppl talking abt their positive experiences so i felt good abt it! wishing u the best ❤️🎀

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fuckedamygdala · 2 months

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first time i’m actually trying to get one of my posts out there on this account bc my other posts i want to keep to myself but

does anyone know why i have such distressing and constant obsessive and intrusive thoughts , i wasn’t sure what they were called but i talked to my therapist about how i constantly feel like i’m going to die . how yesterday i had a 5 hour breakdown that i thought i was going to be killed if i left my house the next day . she said i have obsessive and intrusive thoughts

i havw a routine of thinfs i say to myself every night , it started off innocent but gradually i believed it was the thing keeping me alive so every night i try to talk and discuss how i am going to be safe and everyone around me that i love are going to be safe , if i say it wrong i have to repeat it , one time i even repeated everything i said again just because i thought i got through the whole thing without thinking anything bad and i thought it was too good to be true . i literallt think of violent images of things that could go wrong when saying that i want everything to be ok and i get terrified , even if i say everything right if i get a bad image while talking i’ll do it again . deep down i know doing this isn’t helping me but i do it in case because i fully believe it’s helping me .

even stupid stuff too , i was on the floor sobbing bc i have a shelf you can move bc it’s on the floor and i must have accidentally bumped it slightly out of place when doing my bed . anyway , that night i have a light (ik it’s childish but my thoguhts get worse in the dark) and bc the shelf was the slightest bit off it casted a weird shadow and i thought a person could sneak in next to the shadow and kill me , and i thought of other reasons that it could kill me , even just the fact that it was wrong made me feel in danger . i sobbed on the floor and tried to move it back , it was heavy and every time i moved it it would end up in another wrong place and i got even more upset . before i needed my door open a tiny slit so i could see my landing for a danger but not open enough that i could be seen back , i remember when my mom had to stand outside my door fixing where it was for ages bc i needed to know how it looked from my bed . then i’d stare at it once it was in the place to see if it is right and desperately fix it myself if it isn’t . even when there isn’t a danger bc i didn’t do something right , i think there are just people about to kill me when i leave the house , or if i get too mean to someone i feel like they’re going to kill me . and i get angry a lot

everyday i prepare for if someone is going to kill me

overall , i know this is not my bpd rn , bc i have bpd but i really dont know why im like this i just feel insane . i really wish i had good mental health because i feel like i never have any peace and i’m constantly trying to avoid death . i feel like i’m living in final destination

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melancholic-entrails · 1 year

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TELL ME ABOUT YOUR OCS??????????

NISHSSHSSSISIS ok!!! i dont have a whole lot but slowly collecting teehee

so a while ago i drew this sketch and then my therapist was like "hey is that a brain?" and i was like mmm,, nah... but then the more i sat and thought about it the more i liked the idea, so . i modified it a bit to make it more brain like! im very silly about my ocs in that i rarely think up backstories or even names i just. draw them. lol

i had nagito on th brain in class so i pulled out my sketchbook and drew smth with a 4 leaf clover and this turned out! colored with highlighters lol- didn't put much thought into it but i feel like Brain and Clover ( lmao ) would be in the same universe & friends

not really an oc but me drawing without a ref in class- my friend started lining it, they're mostly responsible for the finished look of the face up top <33

k so i was talking to my online friend one time bout how i wish i was creative enough to think up + draw my fursona and they were like "hey i'll draw it for u" so i was like YES YES A MILLION TIMES YES. and a little bit ago there was like an art night at this studio near where i live, and the theme was like myths and stuff- there was a tarot card print making activity that was free. so i drew my fursona. and its the hanged man. it just says the hanged. you can interpret it either side up. it has like spider eyes, but its robotic, and has like a mermaid tail and a cat esque face. its the bbg <33

i don't have an image of my fursona saved on my laptop which i'm using but it was made by the lovely @owlsnestbox ( hope its ok to tag you!)

and last, but DEFINITELY NOT LEAST, is .. me!! i made a picrew then used that as a ref cuz im bad at visualizing things but this is me. like me mentally. i dont call myself otherkin or anything but. im an elf! im a forest creature! thats me!! i was literally screaming internally as i was drawing that like 'OMG THATS FINALLY ME ?????" so. yeah. i countt that cuz its original!

sorry for all the rambles teehee but yuppp!! ty for the ask lovely creature! <3

#my ocs #my art #asks #silm speaks

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skadream · 1 year

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Rudy's Book Reviews: You Will Get Through This Night by Daniel Howell

yeah thats right im gonna be a phannie on main for a second. this is the start of my book review series which i hope to actually folow through with lol. this one ive been listening to as an audiobook but i do have the physical copy as well cuz im like that! next review will hopefully be gideon the ninth so tune in for that, but for now, read this review under the cut:

this book is a practical mental health guide, honestly a lot of it is stuff that you can learn in therapy so like if you have a therapist that you like then maybe its not worth it BUT theres like slim pickins for mental health books that arent just anecdotal evidence without actually talking about what people did to help them get better, just "yea i was sad but then i got therapy ✌️" or books that are so couched in psychiatric jargon its hard for a layperson to get into OR just vaguely inspiring bullshit.

its all written with the help of an actual licensed psychologist person, so no bullshit, no just do yoga and drink water shit (although obviously exercise and hydration and physical health are talked about) and yes he mentions medication and LICENSED therapy if those end up being necessary steps to take with your mental health!!! which again, in the world of self help type books, tends to be rare advice which is DEPRESSING IN A DIFFERENT WAY LMAO.

ofc it should go without saying that a book can never be a replacement for therapy but Considering How The World Is, this book is good for like maybe stepping into learning some coping skills as well as figuring out a plan before, during, and after crisis mode. i would say the tone is more serious than humorous but dan puts a lot of his own natural snarky sarcasm stink all over this book which obv that can be a taste thing if youre not into brit sarcasm mode but as a One Of Those i like it lol

in terms of Dan And Phil™️-isms, theres a sprinkling of cute winks and nods and inside jokes that people who drew sharpie cat whiskers on their faces as teens would understand but Normies will not find to be out of place or anything, there's also some storytimes of like his previous tours or living as a dropout youtuber being stress-inducing and things like that but not a ton which i kinda prefer cuz it makes it easier for me to recommend this book to people who dont give a shit about Phandom Memes

theres an introduction which is kind of a short summary of who dan is, basically just summarizing his youtube videos talking about depression and when he came out as queer and all that fun stuff, if youre a psycho hardcore fan person like me you might find it to be a long and unnecessary read, but if youre someone who didnt know about this guy and are curious as to why he would even write a book like this its a pretty good synopsis.

the american cover has dan's stupid face on it, and as someone who is a big fan of dan's stupid beautiful face, i wish we had the EU version with like tasteful yellow stripes on it bc it looks so nice, but i mean i just keep it on my bookshelf with the spine showing which is just a nice yellow spine with the title and looks unassuming so its not THAT big a deal lmaoo.

in terms of the audiobook, dan's voice is quite soothing and there's all these like audio cues and fitting music which i really like. the only downside is, for example, he reads out this timed breathing exercise that is meant to be like a five minute exercise, but it's not actually timed? so like i want to do the breathing exercises along with him reading it out but he reads it so fast its kinda like bro slow down you said breathe in for five seconds why you going ahead two seconds later homie. thats my only criticism i think obv if you are reading it and not listening you can just do the exercises by timing yourself lol.

ummmm idk if im gonna give a number at the end of these reviews!!! i give this book a big thumbs up!! 👍 woohoo yeah baby i am very proud of dan's current life journey thing that he's going on and i think this is a great book for people who need help which is everyone alive today right now :)

#rudyreviews

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haver-of-wives · 10 months

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Hullo 👋🏻 I have another piece of advice! Iirc, a while ago you went to Puffy for therapy. How did that go? Have you considered talking to her about the prison break and such? I’m sure she’d be glad to help! On another note: have some lavender, calm yourself 💜 *Hands you a bouquet of lavender flowers* The scent is supposed to calm you down and help you sleep. I wish you the best of luck, Tommy!

oh yeah it was nice beign able to talk about. yknow, everythign. and she taughtme stuff like breathign excersises and shit to calm down from panic attacks adn she also told me that what Dream does is "Abuse" which i guess is true but feels wierd to call it that. uh, unfortunatly though i dont think shes doing the whole therapist thign anymore. And thank you oh this reminds me of Ghostbur and his Blue! adn the Blue actualy had a calming effect too which is pog. i really kind of miss him sometimes

#ask #⭐mcg-127⭐#/rp

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covenantofthedeep · 1 year

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tw vent and also like mentions of sh? i guess

guys my parents really want to move to india bc my grandpa had a stroke and every time i think about it i feel like super hopeless and i was texting one of my close friends ab it earlier and she was like OMG I CANT BELIEVE UR LEAVING ME like try not to make this ab u for once.... like literally can i just vent .... i mean it's gonna be like the next school yera by then we aren't going to be together but like.

she's not good at comforting and stuff but i wish she would try and tmr im going to explain ot to her because i started like crying when trying to text her about it and i was like wtv. but i just KNOW shes going to be so annoying to talk to about it and honestly idrc anymore

ive also like always struggled with hurting myself ??? ???? and this was honestly jsut straw on camels back so ig i started cutting again???? and i cant tell if i wanna die or if im just really tired. like my mom is so not understanding about this she's like you should be lucky!!!!!!! it's like an adventure!!!! and i just know she's going to yell at me for being grouchy ab the move later and i think if she does i will just. die. i can't even think of a valid reason i don't want to move to india besides i wld miss my friends but isnt that reason enough. my whole ass life is here like. it doesn't help taht my mom doesnt believe in depression because she's a meditation teacher and "meditation will fix all" and so like i want! a therapist! or something! and like if i went to the doctors like im supposed to i could talk to her but my mom would be like u dont need a therapist u have me!!!! as if im not terrified of her

im so tired. if i got hit by a truck i would just wanna die

#anwyay sorry #been gone for like a whilea nd then i come back with a rant.#and thats why #ugh #sorry for being so negative #🔆 thoughts

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blurrycow · 2 years

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ok so i ended up watching the first three episodes w out my friends because I couldn’t wait (I feel bad now but aaaaaaa) and this is what I learned

- Diego is a shit dad: probably because he never really had a good model to look up to as a kid. I was surprised that his kid was white???? and not adopted??? How does a desi person and a hispanic person have a white biological child????? Please explain, netflix good lord

- on the related note of the child, stanley, he’s fucking fantastic. Kid can make a hell of a molotov cocktail.

- Reggie is... surprisingly sad this season? He looked kind of like a drowned rat and I almost felt bad for him then i remembered that he locked Klaus in a maloseum

- I expected to like Sloane but she’s kind of manipulative. I don’t know what to think of her.

- Luther acted high the entire time but maybe that’s just how he usually is, I don’t remember. I haven’t watched the other seasons in a long time

- They handled Viktor’s coming out very very well! I loved the different reactions. My brother was talking when Viktor came out to Allison so I didn’t get to hear it, but I especially loved how enthusiastic Luther was about it.

- Five!!!!!! Five five five. I missed seeing him so so so much. I’m so glad he’s back. I loved how he was able to take a step back and just enjoy! I also found it funny how it was the complete opposite than it was in my World’s Largest Ball Of Twine fic- in the fic, Five was on a mission, and Klaus just wanted to see some sights, so he was the one who yanked the wheel into the exit. In the actual episode, the roles were completely reversed!!!

- Lila my beloved!!!! She is so so pretty. I will never not find it funny how she and Five can go from killing each other to casual conversation. (Also, the plaid skirt fit???? that was hot as fUCK) (Id let her kill me in a heartbeat) (maybe im just depressed though)

-I am so so so so glad that they are finally letting Allison lose her shit. SHE HAS BEEN THROUGH A HELL OF A LOT OF STUFF!!!! SHE DESERVES TO LOSE IT IF SHE WANTS!!!! and she does and thats fucking fantastic!!! Im so glad for her!!!!!

- klaus’s aunt was only in the show for like a brief two scenes but she’s awesome i love her

- Ben is an asshole, lmao

- I wish Marcus hadn’t died! You theorists got it right. I’m disappointed but not surprised.

- I know Grace was religious in the comics but not THIS RELIGIOUS JESUS CHRIST WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ICONIC ‘HARGREEVES IS NOT GOD’ PANEL??? Grace honey the kugelblitz is not your lord and savior

- (Gerard Way, please see a therapist)

- my immediate thought was JAYME THE RAINWING but she’s actually got a super cool power. The dance scene had me in literal tEARS

- on that note Five’s scene with Dolores!! Jayme that was cruel.

- (does anyone else know what he was saying to Dolores? I know it was italian but I don’t know italian)

- Alphonso was pretty cool! HOW on earth did all you fanfic writers predict the voodoo doll thing????

- HARLAN. I GUESSED HIM AS SOON AS I SAW THE CASSETTES. It made me so happy to see him!!! I missed him!!!!

- AND ALSO MR. PENNYCRUMB. I saw the collar and immediatley went “THATS HIM THATS MY DOG” and he didnt end up belonging to Five but its oKAy (and then he fucking DIED)

- Luther child. people know what condoms are

- Christopher is so weird wtf. he dont even got a personality he just a cube

- if i have more notes ill reblog this post but i dont remember them rn

#tua season 3 spoilers #the umbrella academy season 3 spoilers #tua3 spoilers #the umbrella academy spoilers #i felt really bad watching it without my friends so im not gonna watch more until they get home #which will probably be abt a week #ive watched enough that i dont feel left out which was mainly the problem #tua #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy s3

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samanitamuscaria · 1 year

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finished the first season of 2013 tmnt (as someone who’s only seen Rise) and I would like to share my thoughts (in the form of a list bc i suck at organizing my thoughts otherwise)

Humor: The show’s jokes def land less often than Rise, at least for me, but I can still appreciate the humor and a lot of jokes DO work (even tho I already saw the submarine scene as a clip before I started watching the actual show, the punchline still got me).

Animation: Obviously not as pretty and some of the models (cough - April - cough) weird me out but the turtle bros look super cute and everything still looks nice

Plot: I do enjoy how plot-focused 2012 is most of the time. Like Rise’s foreshadowing is UNPARALLELED but 2012 def has a much more focused narrative

Characters:

April: She’s like. Fine. She has some pretty funny lines and I was cheering for her when she went after Splinter during the finale but she just isn’t as fun as April in Rise (in my opinion). From what I’ve heard she gets way worse in later seasons but for now she’s perfectly decent. She looks super weird tho like what is she wearing, why is it literally skintight, and why is her mouth so tiny

Raph: LOVE HIM. ADORE HIM. HES SO MEAN AND SILLY. He’s also the most reasonable turtle on the team like I can’t tell u how many times I yelled smth at the screen and Raph said the same exact thing right after. Short angry boi my beloved (I do wish he was slightly less mean to Mikey but they’re ALL disproportionately mean to Mikey so I think I need to take that up with whatever writer had a vendetta against orange boy)

Mikey: SPEAKING OF ORANGE BOI. He’s very silly I like him a lot. ngl sometimes he deserves the bullying but the show DEFINITELY did him dirty. Wish he got to be actually competent more often. Pretty sure there’s nothing going on in his head and I love him for that

Leo: he is such a NERD I love it. What a dork. Raph is correct for bullying him he’s very bullyable (affectionate). Wish his mask didn’t look exactly like Donnie’s in most lighting but eh what can u do. Also MY GUY. CAN WE TALK ABOUT YOUR SAVIOR COMPLEX. GET THIS BOY A THERAPIST. (Side note but the tv show he watches is literally the funniest part of 2012 every time it shows up I know there’s about to be a hilarious joke)

Donnie: I wanted to love him. I did. But I underestimated how much of his character would be just… him being a simp. NOT THAT I DISLIKE HIM I DONT. He’s very funny and has a nerd voice and MUCH autistic swag but like. DANG so much of the stuff with him pining after April is straight up uncomfortable

Splinter: HISSSS HISSSSSS HISSSS. RISE SPLINTER WOULD NEVER. CRUSTY OLD MAN WITH HIS GROSS STRAGGLY BEAR I WANT TO SIC A GIANT CAT ON HIM. HE GIVES RATS A BAD NAME. EVERY TIME HE’S ONSCREEN I AM FILLED WITH IMMEASURABLE RAGE. STOP BEATING UP YOUR SONS FOR NO REASON CHALLENGE - IMPOSSIBLE. HE’S SO MEAN TO THE TURTLES AND SHOWS SUCH BLATANT FAVORITISM TO APRIL I WANT TO BITE HIM AND SHAKE HIM LIKE A CHEW TOY. the flower pattern on his robes is cute tho

Karai: She’s pretty cool ngl. I enjoy her she’s the most interesting thing about the foot clan/shredder. Wish Leo wasn’t constantly trying to get with her (especially with the whole… Sister thing). Her makeup’s nice and her armor’s cool. She’s so mean for no reason and I love her for that. Rip gram-gram but 2012 Karai is a lot more fun

Krang: uhhhh they’re fine I guess. Nowhere near as intimidating as in Rise but ig that’s to be expected. Their speech patterns are pretty annoying but sometimes the jokes with them are really funny so I don’t mind too much. Krang prime was a disappointment tho ngl. It looked like a mix between the aliens from Home (the animated movie) and the villain from Sharkboy and Lava Girl. 2012 has managed to make some pretty intimidating characters (Leatherhead and Shredder for example) but Krang Prime was kinda stupid lol. That might just be a problem with this season tho I guess I’ll see

Shredder: ngl I don’t give a single crap about this guy. He’s just… an old man. A dude. The scariest part about him (other than his design which quite honestly DOES kick ass) is that he’s an incel. He’s a jerk and intimidating but other than that not super interesting.

Baxter Stockman: Look idc if he’s not important he’s important in my heart. He’s a loser with extremely petty motivations and I love him and his stupid little sweater vest. Rise definitely managed to capture that same petty energy with Stockboy but I think Stockman kinda wins out bc we have more time with him than with Stockboy. Stupid man <3

Ok and that’s pretty much the main stuff so here’s some minor nitpicks/thoughts:

Sorry Rise but the 2012 theme song SLAPS I listen to it EVERY time

Hate how the turtles’ skill levels are super inconsistent from episode to episode depending on what lesson the show wants them to learn

DONNIE WHAT IS YOUR STAFF MADE OUT OF????? WHY DOES IT SNAP SO OFTEN THERE’S NO WAY THAT THING IS MADE OF A HARD WOOD LIKE A BO STAFF IS SUPPOSED TO. I swear splinter’s setting him up for failure

Can’t speak too much on the combat bc I know essentially nothing about martial arts but I do miss the creativity of Rise’s fight scenes. It really does feel like the turtles use the same moves in every fight in 2012

where’s Casey :((((( where’s my boy where is he :((((

anyways that’s all thanks for listening to my ramblings about turtles 👍👍

#tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2012 spoilers #ig #mine

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