#i'm arospec so this probably has something to do with it

[hilacopter]

normalize liking platonic dynamics just as much as romantic dynamics. normalize being insane over characters as friends and not as a ship. normalize wanting characters to be closer platonically just as you would want them to be closer romantically (I call it platonic shipping). normalize not having characters fall in love for no reason when they were already great and compelling platonically. normalize characters doing things that are usually seen as romantic but in a platonic context. normalize writing platonic fanfiction and drawing platonic fanart. "I am insane about their friendship" can and should be common actually. amatonormativity BEGONE!

#i'm arospec so this probably has something to do with it #platonic dynamics aren't less than or just a step towards romantic dynamics actually #i'm just tired of feeling weird every time i obsess over two characters' platonic dynamic #because you'd assume i ship them from the way i talk about them but no!!! #amatonormativity in fandoms #amatonormativity #arospec #aspec #lukas rants #hila has spoken

[beanghostprincess]

well since you asked so nicely, what are all your straw hats sexuality (and gender identity?) headcanons :D

ps you dont have to explain them all if it's too much for you ^^

I love you so much for this mwah mwah /p I love when people send me asks like this <33

: ̗̀➛ [Luffy] Sexuality: Aspec. I'm very, very specific with this so I would have to write a whole paragraph to explain it well, but I'll try to do it in fewer words. I used to headcanon Luffy as asexual but the demi-sexual headcanon is growing on me. Only sexual with Zoro, though. Like- I ship Luffy with more people but imo he only feels sexually attracted to Zoro. Something something 'the bond between a captain and his first mate'. Romantic attraction: I can see him being demi-romantic (once again only romantic with Zoro. Or Sanji, even) but I personally see their relationship very Aroaspec QPR. Aromantic and Demi-sexual with a very deep bond with his first mate and his cook. Gender: Transmasc. Demi-boy. He/They. I think he, like, resonates more with being a boy but still doesn't fit the binary enough to be one. And transmasc because. Well. Have you seen him?

: ̗̀➛ [Zoro] Sexuality: Homosexual. Gay. The gayest man you've ever seen. I think he's demi-sexual too in the sense that only Luffy or Sanji would make him go insane and aroused, but he would sleep with other men just because. Like fr, just because he can. Idk. Homosexual behavior everywhere. He's so fucking gay. If there was a gay contest between OP characters he would probably win or end up in a tie with Nami, Law, and Kid. Romantic attraction: Demi-romantic. This dude is obsessed with his captain only. First mate things. I seriously believe that being a first mate makes you inherently unable to fall in love with somebody else. Well, perhaps Sanji too, but I'm not that much of a Zosan so I don't think about how they would work. And still, he'd be Demiro anyway. Gender: Transmasc guy because, once again, have you seen him? Dude even has a scar on his chest. Man tits. Love him. He/Him.

: ̗̀➛ [Nami] Sexuality: Graysexual Lesbian. Some might argue with me on this because she has a different girlfriend every arc, but I honestly think that she only feels genuine sexual attraction sometimes and it's not often. Playfully flirting doesn't equal genuine sexual attraction. Romantic attraction: Grayromantic Lesbian. Because, once again, people might not agree with me, but I think she doesn't have crushes often and she falls into more of a romantic gray area. Never with men, though. God forbid. Never with men. That much is clear, I hope. Gender: Demi-girl. She/They. My babygirl. My girlboss. Like I said with Luffy, I think she embraces being a girl but still doesn't fall into that term exactly and doesn't mind They/Them or more androgynous looks/terms at all. In fact, she loves them.

: ̗̀➛ [Usopp] Sexuality: Bisexual. I love him. He be pulling blonde bitches everywhere and by blonde bitches I mean Kaya and Sanji. Something that always makes me and my BFF laugh is the fact that he's canonically very normal about women's bodies, unlike Brook or Sanji or even Franky. Like, he's pretty decent and respectful and he's, well, a normal human being. I appreciate the bare minimum when half of the characters are perverts sometimes. Romantic attraction: Birromantic. Pretty much the same thing I just said. Simple guy. So true, king. Although I like the Demi-romantic headcanon and I think he doesn't really get love at first sight and would be bothered by Sanji's view on this. I think Usopp is somebody who needs intimacy to develop a romantic crush on someone. So, yeah, I also like the demi-romantic thing but this could be just me trying to make everyone Arospec for no reason other than projecting. Gender: Non-binary. He/They but prefers They/Them, he just doesn't expect people to use those pronouns, and it isn't that big of a deal. Also transmasc. I'm obsessed with that, honestly. However, I think he wouldn't use the term Non-binary? I think he'd just use Unlabeled, perhaps.

: ̗̀➛ [Sanji] Sexuality: Bisexual with a high preference for girls. For obvious reasons. Romantic attraction: Birromantic too. He's a hopeless romantic. Believes in love at first sight and everything. Gender: Transfem. Genderfluid. Any pronouns. I love you, Sanji. You're real to me. And I'm not explaining my reasons for these headcanons because watching the show is enough for you to understand this, but between his trauma and Momoiro Island... Like... I know what you are, girly pop. The closet is glass and the egg is hatching and you need to come out. Oda, please, let her ou-

: ̗̀➛ [Chopper] This one's just, like, Chopper. Chopper is Chopper. I don't think about this much. He canonically likes female reindeer. I have nothing else to say. Gender? Little guy. Sexuality? Honestly, if somebody gives him a reindeer boyfriend I support that. So bisexual and birromantic, I guess. I don't know how it works for him. I don't think he cares. It's not that he's too young because he's canonically a teenager already, I just don't think they've encountered enough reindeer for me to form an opinion on this. Why the hell am I writing so much to say something so fucking stupid. I'm sorry. Let's move on.

: ̗̀➛ [Vivi] Sexuality: Demi-sexual Lesbian. I don't think she's ever thought about sex as something she wants or feels attracted to. At least not until Nami shows up. Romantic attraction: Lesbiab. Lebanese. Dyke. Bollera in Spanish. Girl kisser. Woman liker. Homosexual. No men allowed between her legs and her heart. Friend of Ellen, as Annie Edison would say. Gender: I think she's a cis girl. She/Her. Would literally punch violently anyone who misgendered somebody from the crew. My princess. My girlfriend, actually. Her pronouns are loveof/mylife.

: ̗̀➛ [Robin] Sexuality: Bisexual but also probably Graysexual because I don't think she feels attraction often and doesn't really get aroused if it doesn't come with other emotions. Preference for big, and gentle men. By big, gentle men I mean Franky and Jinbe. And by gentle I mean Brook. The four of them together, btw. Romantic attraction: Birromantic. I think she's just, like, vibing. Learning to love. She has so much trauma she deserves to be in a tender relationship and she just happens to be with four men but she knows how to appreciate a woman. Gender: Transfem. She/Her. You know those older trans women who give the most comforting, calm, mature energy in the world? That's Nico Robin. Gonna keep it SFW but she tops Franky 100%. And also helped Sanji with her transition. I love this. Please adopt me, Robin. She's perfect.

: ̗̀➛ [Franky] Sexuality: Bisexual. If a man doesn't know how to appreciate another man's beauty, then he isn't manly enough. Women are perfect. Men are perfect. He's wonderful. I love him. Romantic attraction: Birromantic. I swear to fucking god he has something going on with Jinbe and Brook and Robin. I am so not normal about them- Gender: Cis man but he'd probably consider being a cyborg a third, secret gender, so I'm gonna let him have that too. He/Him.

: ̗̀➛ [Brook] Sexuality: Bisexual classy grandpa. The fact that he's a gentle grandpa has a lot to do with his sexuality (no it doesn't). He might be a pervert around women but at least he supports consent, so, he's better than Sanji here. Romantic attraction: Grayromantic because I feel he doesn't get real crushes easily. Especially since his boyfriend (his former captain) died. The trauma he probably has around romance now, damn. Gender: Hear me out he's the most Unlabeled thing ever. He/They. He's just bones and most people don't even know how to tell the difference between sexes when it comes to bones. Robin is actually the only one who knows his AGAB and she doesn't care anyway, so. Gender norms are bullshit and he's just the Soul King.

: ̗̀➛ [Jinbe] Sexuality: Graysexual and Bi. He's somewhere there in the Ace spectrum. I just don't know where. I think he's, like, not that interested in bodies and sex? He would only have sex with somebody he loves and it wouldn't even be for the arousal and the attraction. Romantic attraction: Demi-romantic, which is not the same as gray. Because I think he'd need, like, to spend time with Robin/Franky/Brook to form a deep bond and then he'd slowly and gently start falling for them individually. I swear I am so normal. Please, they should adopt me. I want the four of them to be my parents. Gender: Cis man. He/Him. Biggest trans supporter in the whole fucking world.

The Going Merry is actually called the Going Liberal and the Thousand Sunny is technically the Theysand Sunny and with the help of their ships the straw hats are trying to find the Woke Piece.

#one piece always saying trans rights #okay you might notice that i'm projecting on most of them but i like aroaspec characters #one piece #strawhat pirates #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #nami #usopp #black leg sanji #tony tony chopper #nefertari vivi #nico robin #franky #brook #jinbe #not gonna tag the ships but yeah it's zolusan/sanuso/namivivi/and whatever the adults of this ship have going on

[angryaromantics]

hi. i need help. i understand you're not a professional so i hope this isn't too heavy but i've been needing and needing to talk to someone about my internalized arophobia and never had a real chance to do it.

anyways, i've been really lost and hopeless over the past couple years because of my aromanticism. identifying as demiromantic was a cover, but even when i thought that was the full extent of my place on the aro spectrum, i hated how hard that made it to find romantic love. now i know better and think i'm probably a lot closer to fully aromantic than i thought, and by extension i'd be cupioromantic too. i've forced crushes before, since i knew they came so rarely. that ended in repulsion and an inability to communicate it just about every time. it sucked. it still sucks.

the thing that makes me feel alone is that i haven't seen anyone else in the aro community express how i feel, and those i have are saying that i shouldn't talk about it since it's technically still arophobia, even if it's towards myself, and could hurt other arospec people. then they go on to say that it's just amatonormativity and something i can get over. but i don't want to!! i know that i want a fulfilling relationship!! i'm frustrated and it feels like an erasure of how i feel!!

i'm sure it'll be damning and maybe offensive to say this but i feel like i need to be fixed and i wish i could fix myself. my desires don't match with my real attraction and it leads me to believe i'm broken in a somehow unique way. i guess it'd be nice to find a community of other cupio-aligned people and build pride for who i am, but i'm just depressed because that won't solve my problem. who i am isn't who i want to be, and i can't change that or better it in any way. i'm hurting because of it. i fear my activity in sapphic spaces is just performative since i'll never actually be sapphic, or straight, or anything. why bother if i'll never know that experience and have the happy endgame with another girl that i truly do want? am i even really bi? could i just be a lesbian if i only experience sexual attraction to girls but no other type to any other group of people? or am i just clinging onto any other orientation label to deny that i'm aromantic and don't belong in the LGB parts of queer spaces? i hate this.

thanks for letting me vent. sorry this is so long. thanks for running your blog, i really appreciate it.

Hi, anon - I apologize, I've found this in my drafts folder, and I have absolutely no idea how long it's been there. Hopefully not too long, but either way, I'm sorry I missed it.

I think the first thing is, I don't believe feelings are ever the incorrect response. You can't control your emotions. If being aromantic makes you feel negative feelings, that's okay. It's normal even. I definitely felt that way for many years, and occasionally slip into it now. I don't think it much matters if it's internalized arophobia or amatanormativity, because either way, the effect it has on you is the same.

I will say, I think the aro community has sort of over-corrected in the way we deal with negativity surrounding aromanticism. I feel like, not even that many years ago, it was rampant. A LOT of the posts, a lot of the talk, was about a lack, of what we're missing out on, etc. Especially once the big aphobia boom around here. And I think people took that, and about faced it so that negativity isn't deemed acceptable by a lot of people. I disagree with this, just fundamentally. I think talking through the negativity you feel toward your orientation can help you work through that negativity. It can also help you find like-minded people, and feeling less alone will probably make you feel less negativity.

I do think it's a dangerous line to walk, though. Because it's easy to tip over into All negativity in such insular communities, and that can honestly be dangerous for everyone's mental health.

I hope you find some peace. I hope you come into yourself. I hope things settle, as they often do with time. I'm sorry none of this has an easy fix. I hope writing it down and getting it off your chest helped. There's nothing wrong with you, and you belong here <2

#asks

[entropy-sea-system]

I think the reason I see a little less potential for any mh gen 3 ships w the guy characters is bc they're just.. not given much screen time?? like. Clankie (neither of them are guys and both characters get enough screen time on their own) is probably the ship that makes most sense in canon even if other ships also do?? Like. that tends to be why the ships I think have more build up happen to be nblw or wlw???

I think Like. Gil had literally hardly any screentime without Lagoona even if they both seem into each other and communicate with each other. And I haven't even shipped any mlm ships yet bc .. the guy characters hardly interact w each other as much as they do w the nonbinary and girl characters.

Clawd had more screentime than him, but I think he and Draculaura haven't had much interaction outside of like two episodes, and I feel the show focuses mostly on him being from Beheme and being Clawdeen's brother most of the time. I've heard other ppl say in concepts he was supposed to be an inventor and I feel that his canon characterisation isn't as fully fledged as it could have been.

I do still ship Dracugoona but. tbh I don't think they had as many moments after witch hitch to be honest. But I do ship it.

Clankie feels like the ship with the most moments. They seem consistently interested in each other and even if recent episodes don't have many moments the finale is literally mainly about Clankie so. It feels like I don't have to detail this one because everyone knows how canon has hinted at it basically.

I like Lagoona x Gil, and their interactions are cute but I think maybe we could use more screen time for Gil to actually like, know something about him other than a couple of hobbies he has. I don't think a ship has to be slow burn to make sense because romance just works differently for different ppl even irl!! Its not unrealistic for ppl irl to date without knowing each other for like months or years lol... so Idk why thats unrealistic in a fictional show anyway. I think similarly about Clawdulaura but the episode with the dancing and the one where the talismans go missing did make me ship them.

For most of the characters I don't really like easily ship them if theres no hints in canon but yeah. Like Im not in a rush to ship every character with someone, and Im arospec allosexual, and hc some of them as arospec and/or maybe just not wanting to date at the moment. I should also probably add that Im friendship repulsed and familial repulsed (atertiary also) so I'm not very invested in the friendships and family in the show. I think I mainly prefer to analyse the events and characters on their own and sometimes ships.

In the movies, after the second movie, I kind of ship Toralei and Clawdeen and feel they had a bit more chemistry at the end than whatever was going on with Clawdeuce.

I don't really care for claiming characters "are better as friends" or shipping them platonically or queerplatonically bc that repulses me and Im already just p much ignoring the stuff in the show that repulses me lol. (Also I know I could just.. not watch the show then, but its extremely hard to find media without friendship as a plato-repulsed aplatonic, and I like cartoons.) I'm more in the fandom for the world building and the events of the show, and characters, and a bit for shipping but the shipping wasn't really there until I saw the potential of Clankie tbh.

#aplatonic #shipping #mh gen 3 #clankie #dracugoona #lagoona x gil #monster high gen 3 #clawdulaura #plato repulsion #monster high #mh gen 3 ships

[orbleglorb]

I would love to hear the aro essay if you want to write it actually

okay so i KNOW what post you're referencing but i cannot fucking find it. but it's about grollis and qais's qpp. btw you want to read the last best dream by waveridden so bad (although this deviates from that somewhat, it's what got me thinking about them)

the exact post was something along the lines of, "aro ppl can write aro characters in relationships but if an allo person wants to do that they need an essay explaining why." and i added tags along the lines of "i could write this essay about grollis and qais, even tho it's not really romantic." which is funny because i've realized now that i'm probably arospec. but anyway. then i got this ask and went "wow! i should do that" and then couldn't find the time and energy to dedicate to it. but today my body is forbidding me from doing anything that isn't laying in bed and thinking about blorbos so here we go.

grollis was formerly in a qpp with yusef fenestrate and a friend group (brokyo) with yusef, coolname galvanic, val hitherto, and gerund pantheocide. ze naturally grew apart from them, especially when they got shadowed in season 20, and fell into a weird in-between state where ze didn't definitively know where ze stood with anything or anyone. blaseball is going up in flames, hyr personal relationships are full of ambiguity, and it doesn't seem like anyone in the world has a clue what's going to happen next. grol has never handled not knowing things very well. ze's not really good at going with the flow, but ze has literally no other choice now.

qais dogwalker is the captain of the miami dale and, like, the party guy. im convinced they've never made a plan for anything. it's a good temperament to have with blaseball. after the death of their partner jenna, qais sort of lost interest in dating. they're arospec and feel romantic attraction very, very rarely. and, despite feeling aromantic attraction more frequently, they never really got over the whole watching-their-girlfriend-die-in-front-of-them thing. they're not afraid of being open or forming relationships, and have tons of friends and acquaintances, but in the back of their mind, becoming "a thing" with someone leads them into a disaster zone. one of them will die. it's happened with a ton of the big blaseball couples: allison and kichiro, tillman and declan, caligula lotus and beck whitney (that one they got to witness first hand, with cali dying the day after the dale got beck in the feedback). it seems like every other week, the tabloids are reporting on how so and so has died or been alternated or feedbacked to a different team and how it's affecting their relationship with their friend/partner/whatever. subconsciously (and somewhat consciously), qais has a superstition that once The Universe is aware that you have someone you really like, romantically or not, one of you is going to die. and, again, qais has a ton of close friends. but they're all, like, the same level of close. qais doesn't have a best friend. and it's not like they're particularly upset about any of this, but sometimes it hits them that it would be super cool to have a special someone(TM).

so grollis is in a state of trying very desperately to fight against the current, so to speak, when ze meets qais. well, ze has technically met qais plenty of times when they were playing games against each other. but back then, qais was like... a celebrity. and technically grollis is too, but ze doesn't think of it like that. the lift's fans don't even like grollis. qais seems to be universally liked. loved, even. qais talks to people easily, doesn't ever seem to get nervous, and is comfortable with being the center of attention or on the sidelines. qais has a smile that stretches ear to ear and laughs easily. qais loves being at big loud parties and acts like socializing is the easiest thing ever. grollis set foot on the party yacht once and left about ten minutes in, and that was one of the sensory friendly parties. grollis doesn't really hang out with the dale, mostly because ze doesn't care too much for a team centered on partying, but also because there's not many places to meet them that aren't a game or overstimulating. qais remembers grollis as a pitcher for the lift, and... that's pretty much it. they could recognize grollis, but they never spoke. until...

neither of them really remember why or how they started talking; they just kind of did. but, it was during season 21 party time (hosted by the seattle garages). grollis had just gotten out of the shadows and was feeling more disconnected from hyr friends than ever. qais, however, had a very uneventful* season and was pretty damn bored. qais noticed grollis's patchwork coat and came up to hyr to ask where they got it. grollis reponded by telling them ze made it, and they got into a conversation about making clothes, then fashion, then so on and so forth. eventually, one of them had to leave, and grollis had enough courage to ask for their phone number. they began hanging out fairly often, and grollis became well-known amongst the dale. conversely, grollis didn't really introduce qais to any of hyr teammates, and many of them didn't know much about qais, or that they were even friends until much later. but engine eberhardt, the one person grollis still felt somewhat close to, mostly because she refused to let them "sulk in solitude," got to know qais. as did val, who ran the beef wings stand qais frequented.

both of them share common interests in fashion, detective media, urban exploration, "bad" movies and books, movies and tv shows in general, and trying new foods.

now. this is all well and good. but what do they gain from being in a qpp? what does it add narratively? well.

first off, qais has to come face to face with that subconscious-ish superstition. although they know jenna's death affected them, they didn't realize how much it still influenced their everyday decisions. because of their (aromantic) (i cannot stess the nature of this relationship enough) (there's a capital D Difference between romantic attraction and aromantic attraction. no i don't know how it works) attraction to grollis, qais has to decide whether or not they're going to let that superstition continue to inform how they make relationships. here's someone that would love to be their Special Someone(TM), but they have to get over the fear that something bad will happen. and that fear takes the form of, like, beginning to ghost grollis a little -- not enough that it's obvious, but there's that danger of becoming too close, and then The Universe hears and strikes you dead. so qais takes longer to respond, or sometimes just doesn't. but with the help of the lazarus pit and supportive teammates, they get to process All Of That more and get back to normal with grollis.

secondly, grollis strikes me as the type of person who wants a special someone. whereas qais would be totally okay being single forever, grollis wants to have someone that's hyr go-to. ze like having someone to cuddle and kiss and talk about movies with. although ze don't want romance, per se, ze wants a partner. and! having a partner that's not only able to go with the flow, but able to do so excitedly, really helps grollis feel more comfortable not always having a plan, or knowing how ze feels.

however. grollis and qais cannot live together. they tried around season ß1 and just couldn't. grollis needs a home to be a private place of refuge, while qais needs a home to be a community center for all of their loved ones that's open any time they need. that's just inherently not compatible. so they live apart and see each other often.

*i assume it was an uneventful season. i can't find much on the blb wiki that suggests otherwise

i got really tired towards the end of this so i im posting and hoping it makes enough sense

#my bad if i messed up pronouns #grollis zephyr #qais dogwalker #qails #asks 4 sasha #blaseball (organizational)

[r-r-raf]

For the Sherlock ask game: Question 13, 14 and 18 :}}

Oh my god thank u for letting me talk abt Sherlock Holmes [shakes you]

13. What is something you wish more people knew/understood about Sherlock Holmes?

That he's a fucking silly guy okay. Okay. [shakes you] I feel like a lot of Sherlock Holmes adaptations lean more into the "detective genius" aspect of his character, but Sherlock is by no means as serious or mean spirited as people depict him to be. He can be arrogant and he doesn't always know how to talk to people, but people like him and seek his help for a reason. He's a caring guy! He cares so deeply for people!!

My personal interpretation of him has always been that he understands what people are feeling extremely well (he's good at reading people), but doesn't always know how to respond in a way that's sensitive to the situation.

The books and the stories have a lot of moments that are lighthearted and I wish people knew about them more!

Also that he's arospec

14. Who do you tend to relate to more - Holmes or Watson? Both?

Hmmmmm. Probably Sherlock. I too am just a silly guy that can be dreadfully lazy, isn't always the most sociable, stays awake at absurd hours doing whatever, forgets to take care of himself sometimes maybe (whoops), and hates cops.

I'm also super in love w my partner though so I get Watson

18. Favourite piece of Sherlock Holmes related trivia?

OKAY admittedly I don't know a lot akdjqj sorry I'm a fake Sherlock Holmes fan.

but!!! I think this bit is funny

Arthur Conan Doyle was so done w Sherlock fr. The fact that the Conan Doyle estate was protective of him at all is hilarious to me

He also wrote to a little girl by the name of Ruby about Sherlock though :] I really like that letter

^ says this

#asks #Crispy! #okay thank u for letting me talk abt Sherlock Holmes I love u #I fucking LOVE s&c as a Sherlock adaptation bc it's so silly!! But still treats the more serious cases w the gravity they need #y'know #AND IM SOOO EXCITED TO SEE SHERLOCK IN FAWX & STALLION #I loveeee Fawx & Stallion and seeing Sherlock and Watson at the end of s1 was so much fun I'm so excited for them to show up again #Augh #anyway anyway. Sorry Sherlock trivia became ACD trivia kinda. I just think his feelings towards Sherlock were funny

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

I think I'm in love with my best friend. I'm not sure what type of love as I'm very certain I'm aro and on the ace spectrum, but it's different then I've felt about anyone else. I would do anything for her, I love being around her, it feels more then just platonic attraction, but it's not quite romantic.

I want to tell her

She's ace and she thinks she arospec, so she'd probably understand my feelings to some extent, but I don't want to say something that could ruin our dynamics. I'm fine with being friends I think, but it feels like I want something a little bit more or at least be able to her she's not a normal friend for me I love her in a different way

But I'm scared it will mess something up

Have you ever looked into alterous attraction, Anon? Alterous attraction is a type of attraction that isn't fully romantic or fully platonic, but may contain elements of both. Another way to look at can be if you see platonic and romantic as binaries, alterous can be a nonbinary option. And it's very common for people experiencing alterous attraction to want a strong emotional bond with the person they're attracted to.

Another type of attraction is queerplatonic attraction, which is a type of attraction that specifically makes the person interested in having a QPR with the person they're attracted (so like a pull towards being in a QPR). So if you're interested in changing the type of relationship relationship you have, and QPRs sound appealing, queerplatonic attraction could be something else to consider.

(And a QPR can be used for any relationship that isn't easily classified as romance or friendship, and can vary a lot and be tailored to the people in the relationship.)

It's your choice what you want to do, it's OK to not tell someone when you have feelings for them (no matter what type of feelings those are). Especially if you really like the relationship and dynamic that you have now. And there is always a risk when you do confess feelings, since you can never 100% predict how the other person will take it. But sometimes if you do want something else, the risk can be worth it.

If you do decide you want to tell them, my advice would be to think ahead of time about what you do want with them. Do you want a romantic relationship or a relationship with romantic elements? Do you want a QPR? Do you want an alterous relationship (which is a type of relationship that defies labels where at least one member has alterous feelings)? Do you want to not define it but just have them be aware of how you feel? Other questions you can ask are things like what exactly do you want them to know? Is there anything you want from them (and maybe there is but maybe there's not other than just knowing)? etc. And figuring that kind of stuff sooner will definitely help the conversation when you do have it.

Also sometimes it can help to choose a time to talk about this where you won't be interrupted and can have a conversation. Some people also like having time to process or think about things after these types of conversations before making a decision (though that can depend on the type of person and you know her best).

All the best, Anon! Good luck!

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

what is something you wish was more well known about being arospec?

ooohhh that's an interesting one

So, first the obvious out of the way:

YES, a-spec people are part of the queer community

NO, we are not all waiting for the perfect prince in shining armor to knack open the walls around our heart like a walnut and make us fall in love for the first time, finally giving our life meaning. Everyone has heard that one before and it never stops being obnoxious.

and very importantly (and also vaguely related to the last one) BEING. ARO. IS. NOT. A. TRAGEDY.

If someone tells you they are aro, you do not need to console them as if it is sth unfortunate. "Oh I'm sure it'll pass and you will fall in love one day" . Well maybe I don't even want to fall in love, ever thought of that?! Sure, it is hard to deconstruct all the nuclear family and amatonormativity bs that has been thrown at us since before we could even speak, and I know that most people do mean well. But that doesn't really make it better? why is it so hard to understand that not falling in love does not equate being lonely forever ?!?!

If you came out to another queer person as a lesbian, their answer probably wouldn't be "Don't worry, one day the right man will come and you won't feel like that anymore". But if you come out as aro, this response is not only more likely, but also seen as normal. That is kind of fucked up ngl.

So, long story short: being aromantic isn't a tragic fate, stop treating it like one. 🙃 Many of us actually like being aro and take pride in it. Even if I had the chance to fall in love, I don't think I would. Thank you for coming to my TED talk 👍

(ask game)

#that came out a bit longer than expected lol #apparently i have more anger in my heart than i thought #but this is fun !! ^^ #ty for the ask #(betteridge)

[levi-dayne]

i figured i should probably do an introduction post since my bio is getting a bit long

hi!! i'm levi, my pronouns are primarily they/them (but i also use ae/aer and ve/vim)

bi (??) + arospec + acespec

my primary fandoms are currently death note and hazbin hotel

i post every random death note thought i have and i am obsessed with mello and near and matt and wammy's house (i have SO much to say about all of them)

i don't post about hazbin hotel on main besides this intro post but my side blog is full of it if you're interested

death note side blog: @meronia-note

hazbin hotel side blog: @loser-babyyyy

i follow back unless you're a blank blog with no theme, pfp, background, or bio (basically don't look like a bot)

mello's biggest fan and apologist fight me

also mello has adhd

i make edits on tiktok under the username meronia_note

my ao3 is under the username levi_dayne

posts of, about, and referencing my fanfictions

i'm autistic so please use tone tags if you make a joke or use sarcasm because that's really hard for me to pick up on over the internet. also things i say may come off as aggressive when they're not intended as such so if you think i'm mad or something please know that i'm probably not

if anyone has music recs i listen to pretty much everything and would love to hear it

my favorite characters/comfort characters:

- mello (death note)

- near (death note)

- matt (death note)

- L (death note)

- angel dust (hazbin hotel)

- husk (hazbin hotel)

my ships:

- meronia (mello x near)

- m2 (mello x matt)

- huskerdust (husk x angel dust) -> again i'll only post this on my side blog

- soichello (mello x soichiro)

- mattmisa (matt x misa)

- controversial one but mello x sayu im sorry

statuses:

- requests are open but they might be slow

- asks are open but i may not get to them immediately

- dms are open (please do not dm if you are under 16)

- anons are open

- i don't mind if people need to vent as long as you ask first with a trigger warning, i know sometimes it's easier venting to people online

what i do here:

- shitposts

- headcanons/memes

- art

- positivity posts

- activism posts

- occasional fanfiction

- posts about my death note self-insert

- some personal posts (tagged with "personal posts 😌✨️✨️" feel free to filter it out if you're not interested in my lore lol)

- pagan posts (probably just on yuletide, imbolc, and samhain, also occasional random posts about brighid)

what i'll write:

- meronia is the only ship i'll write for as of right now

- i will also write mello x reader

- i'll write smut, fluff, or angst

- i reserve the right to deny or ignore a request if it makes me uncomfortable (up to personal discretion)

- if you leave a request off of anon i may reach out to you to ask more details or let you know if i can't get to it right away for whatever reason

what i'll draw:

- basically same rules as above

- i am willing to draw mello, near, matt, and meronia for death note

- i am willing to draw angel dust, husk, huskerdust, alastor, lucifer, and radiostatic (one-sided) for hazbin hotel but i'll only post these on @loser-babyyyy

please keep in mind that any request may take time and just because i don't get to it right away doesn't mean i'm ignoring it

dni/byf:

- disrespectful discourse (you're welcome to your opinion but be nice about it)

- seriously dni if you're pro-israel, this is a genocide and it is not up for debate

- homophobes, transphobes, TERFs, ableists, racists, pedos/MAPs, antisemitics, etc.

- mdni on nsfw posts (i don't mind if you follow me but please do not like, comment, reblog, etc. nsfw posts or i'll block you)

- don't just come to my blog to bash on my comfort characters, i understand not everyone likes them and that in itself is totally fine but coming to my blog just to hate on them will get you blocked

- dni if you don't support people with cluster B personality disorders, psychotic disorders, systems, etc. mental health advocacy means ALL mental health

- we can debate on pineapple on pizza, not human rights

#personal posts 😌✨️✨️

[mrs-luigi-vargas]

WIP Wednesday

I mean to do these more often than I do but Wednesday is usually my busiest day of the week because its the day I actually have to do a work commute longer than the 10 feet from my bed to my desk XD

Anyway, when the year started I wanted to have the angsty aroace!Mario fic written for Valentine's Day/AroSpec Awareness Week but then I looked at what I had left to write for it and how much time I had and there was no way I was finishing it within that deadline, lmao. So I put it down and decided to work on some other WIPs instead; I have some outlines and ideas from late 2020/early 2021 that I can knock out real quick, with how much my writing skills have progressed. And it would be nice to actually put a tangible dent in my WIP pile for once. I already wrote two of them, and luckily I have a different aro!Mario WIP half-outlined that I can definitely write and finish in time for ASAW so I think I'm going to focus on that, now. It's not much to do with Mario being aro itself (aside from Peach being mad about amatonormativity for a bit, ha); it'll probably mostly be, like, platonic cuddling and junk. But it'll be nice to get another entry in the aro!Mario series after so long…It's really hard to get ideas for new fics for it :(

This also means I have to pause the WIP I was actively in the middle of working on, which was a late-2020 idea about Kamek accidentally shrinking himself and Mario deciding to mind him. Because I don't know if I'm looking in the wrong places or something, but its really hard to find fics where people are shrunken that aren't, like, Borrowers fusions or a vore thing. Which, no shade to either of those, but they aren't the vibe I'm after, haha. But I suspect the shared change in perspective and helpless vulnerability and having to trust someone who could just crush you if they wanted etc etc etc is still fueling it all regardless :)

So anyway here's some of the tiny!Kamek fic because I won't be working on it for a hot minute —

“Either that spell I’d cast was more powerful than I’d realized,” Kamek slowly said, “Or I somehow managed to shrink myself, instead.”

“...”

“I’d shrunk myself, didn't I.”

Mario’s mustache curled up in amusement. Kamek ground his teeth and fumed. Of all the stupid mistakes to make...!

Despite his magic reserves being low, Kamek reached into his sleeve for his wand; whether to put himself back to normal or knock the amusement off Mario’s face, he couldn't say. Either way, his hand came out empty. And it did so the second time Kamek rummaged in in his sleeve, and the third, and the fourth, and the — 

Absolutely not panicking, Kamek dove back into the tree hollow to overturn every dead leaf and stick pile and moss clump in search of his wand. He didn't find it, of course, and he spared a moment or two to just stand there, head in hands. With how today was going, he’d probably dropped it just after miscasting that spell. On the very dim bright side, though, at least he knew why his broom wasn't working; those enchantments weren't designed to play nice with these sort of shrinking spells. Kamek sighed. Curse Lord Bowser and his incessant, almost impossible demands...

Kamek lifted his head to find Mario peering through the opening of the tree hollow, watching him with a furrowed brow, considering Kamek’s misfortune. He backed up to allow Kamek to leave, and once Kamek stood upright, he extended a hand to him.

“I don't need your help,” Kamek snapped. Ignoring Mario’s hand, he turned on his heel, marched a few steps, tripped over a protruding bit of exposed bark, and lost his balance. His next step was on empty air, at a height borderline unsurvivable, with little but a broken broom to break his fall.

So he fell. And he hit the ground. Sooner than he’d expected, considering. Kamek unscrewed his eyes and found the surface he’d landed on was whiter than he’d expected, as well. And then it moved, and Kamek lost the little balance he’d been barely holding on to. Mario’s worried face filled Kamek’s vision, and he realized that he wasn't dead because Mario had caught him.

“...I suppose I should thank you,” Kamek eventually said, with no intention of thanking Mario. Mario huffed, but still watched him, lips pursed in thought. He was being quieter than usual, and that combined with the sudden awareness of just how vulnerable he was —  many fractions his size, unable to cast any spells, sitting on his archenemy’s palms high in the air — had Kamek swallowing nervously.

“You can put me down, now,” Kamek hesitantly said, because Mario was a good guy, and he would do that. For sure. Hopefully.

Except Mario didn't. Instead, he transferred Kamek to one hand, opened the front pocket of his overalls with the other, and dumped Kamek in there as if he was some common — 

Kamek struggled to right himself in the small, mostly enclosed space. “Wh — You —!” he sputtered. “How dare you — !”

Mario chuckled at Kamek’s indignation. The vibrations of it rumbled through Kamek's body, and the whole ‘you’re very tiny and powerless and more-or-less at your archenemy’s mercies right now’ dilemma screeched back to the forefront of Kamek’s mind. So he shut his mouth with a clack, thinking better of poking his head out of the pocket to give Mario a piece of his mind. Through the meager opening above him he saw Mario give him one last look before starting to move; with the way the world shifted probably meant he was at a brisk walk, down the forest path to who-knew-where.

Kamek sighed, making himself comfortable the best he could given the circumstances. Well... at least Mario wasn't likely to let Kamek get accosted by wildlife again. And besides, all Kamek had to do was wait until he could scrounge up enough magic to cast spells again; though he was still without his wand, he’d still be free to ditch Mario and make his own way back to the base for his spare wand and broom. And then he could make Mario pay for this indignity ten-fold.

#this fic is just Kamek being really cranky lmao #i've missed getting into his head #i feel like i've gotten a little faster with writing lately which is really fun #sooner or later i'm gonna run out of all the simple WIPs though #then i'll be in trouble XD #mlv.txt #wip wednesday #smb

[dylanndr]

Izzy Aro?

I have now watched the chaos that was the Con/Nathan C2E2 panel, which I think was the first time Con has ever publicly spoken about playing Izzy? There were a few nuggets of new information, including Con's elaboration on how Izzy processes romantic relationships:

Con: "I'm not going to say I don't think Izzy will ever be able to have a relationship, I just don't think he thinks in those terms. He's not somebody who feels incomplete. His work is everything to him."

…. … .. .

Con: "I think he'd be a REALLY good shag, though."

This does make me wonder if Izzy is arospec. Con also acknowledged that part of Izzy's problem is being too emotionally immature to get a handle on what he's feeling for Blackbeard, but I could see Izzy being so unaccustomed to having romantic feelings at all that he genuinely doesn't have the context to process them when they do surface. So he's not all the way at the far end of the aromantic spectrum, but close enough to it that he might have only experienced romantic feelings a handful of times over the 16 years five-plus decades of his life. (Also, to be very clear, aro people can be fonts of emotional maturity, alloromantic people can be immature as all hell, so I would want to maintain a distinction there. Being arospec would not be The Thing that makes Izzy a mess, it's his immersion in a tox masc culture that discourages introspection.)

And then there's Con's assertion that Izzy probably fucks real good. I have to say, this tracks with how I would interpret the character based on the fact that swordfighting is a deliberate metaphor for sex in OFMD. If Izzy is supposed to be "the best swordsman in the world" (again, per Con, while talking about his sword training process for the role), then he is also one of the best lays on this or any ship. David Jenkins describes OFMD's genre as action rom com, so in order for Izzy to be a truly compelling antagonist, ideally he'd be intimidatingly good at something that hits both those angles. We know he can fight (action: check), and we know he is terrible at interpersonal interactions. Having him be phenomenal in bed (or down the docks, more realistically) would check the rom com box.

I strongly suspect Izzy's preference is for anonymous hookup sex where he rarely has to speak to the other person and has no expectation that he'll see them again (I have a much longer post about how I interpret his sexuality through the lens of a specific subset of gay male culture, written long before this panel dropped, but I still stand by the majority of it). He could potentially have a stable of guys on Blackbeard's other ship who are semi-regulars, but he might also avoid hookups with people he knows he has to work with (except for Blackbeard, jk ... unless ...). So probably cruising is his main go-to, which does fit in nicely with the idea of him haunting the back room of the leather bar.

#our flag means death #ofmd meta #izzy hands #Con O'Neill #c2e2 panel #arospec #aromantic

[growinguparo]

Recently my relationship with one of my friends changed - we started cuddling and occasionally kissing, the commitment element got stronger, and apparently we've been flirting too (or so they say, not that I'd noticed). I don't mind calling what we have now romantic, even though that concept doesn't make much sense to me personally. I either love people or I don't, and I know that I love this person, and if they gain something from calling this thing we have romantic, I'm fine with that because I don't feel like I'm losing anything. What I'm not fine with is giving up the term single because to me, being single doesn't just describe what kinds of relationships I have with people in my life, but how I relate to the world. I've considered myself non-partnering for a very long time, and while I do understand that my conception of myself can change, in this regard I don't want it to. I don't want to give up the political position that refusing amatonormative ideas about how being human works gives me. My friend is very supportive in this and doesn't push me to stop calling myself single, but I can't seem to get over how confused I am. I don't want this to change my position in the world, and it makes me feel like a fake for still considering myself aro-spec now, even though the aro community has helped me a lot over the years. Sorry, I'm kinda dumping all of my confusion here, but I don't know what to do with this

that is quite the complicated situation. i can empathize - i identify as nonpartnering and i see that as an important part of my identity politically as well. i think it makes sense that you would want to keep calling yourself single, cuz even if you're in a relationship that looks traditionally romantic, you don't have to put that relationship on a pedestal like you're expected to, and you don't have to refer to it with the terms that you're expected to. relationship anarchy, right? relationships are just relationships, why should you need to update your "relationship status" just because this one involves kissing and commitment? why should you need a "relationship status" at all? you're whole on your own.

certainly i can tell you that you don't need to feel fake for still considering yourself arospec. i've had similar feelings myself where i'm like "maybe in another life if i hadn't known about aro i woulda just called myself gay, cuz i am occasionally attracted to women?" and i think it's true, in another life i might have, but in this life identifying as aro has profoundly and irreversibly shaped the way i view the world. no other label makes sense to me, every time i try something new i come back to aromanticism. for what it's worth, the way you describe your feelings on the concept of romance still sounds pretty aro to me.

remember that your identity is your choice. it's not about checking boxes, it's about what makes you feel best. i don't think any of what you've told me necessarily conflicts. it definitely goes against a lot of social norms and other people probably won't understand, so that's something you'll have to contend with, but i think internally within yourself it is possible to reconcile all of it without giving up anything important to you.

#ask #advice #anonymous

[our-aro-experience]

Hi!

For the most part, my sexuality has been bisexual. I've had many crushes on boys and girls. For a few years now, I've been losing that, idk, spark of love? I have no idea how to describe it except: I haven't felt romantic or sexual attraction. People in my school are all about love (as in romantic) and for Valentine's they did this whole dance, decorated the school with hearts (yknow, the basics but more extreme) and I got like 3 invitations for the dance (2 boys and 1 girl bcuz they know im bi). Those 3 people were like, according to my friends, "super hot" but i really wasn't feeling it. At first, i just thought: Maybe it's just my preference, I'm just being mean, maybe I just dont like them. But the more I look at it, the more I realize I wouldn't go out to the dance with anyone, in my school or not. Now I'm thinking, cmon, there's like 8 billion people on earth, I just havent found someone I think is my type. And the more I think about *that* the more I think I would be more happier if I just went with one of my friends or straight up alone. I feel like I'm a piece that doesnt fit in the puzzle right now. I really just wanna go to the party with my friends, eat the food, dance, joke and mess around and do silly stuff without having to like put a string of spaghetti in my mouth and put the other bit in my "lover's" mouth and like eat it until we smooch or something. Sadly, It's the point of the dance to come with only one person and not alone and if I know my friends, I know they'll be focusing on their partner only so I didn't go to the dance. I'm probably being dramatic but

Am I aromantic?

(disclaimer) i can’t tell you for sure if you’re aromantic or not because i’m not in your brain and body

from what you’re saying, i think you could be somewhere on the aromantic spectrum! this part really stuck out to me - “I haven't felt romantic or sexual attraction” - because aromanticism is defined as “feeling little or no romantic attraction” (and then asexuality is feeling little or no sexual attraction).

there’s also different types of attraction you could have been experiencing with your crushes before, which i can go into depth a bit more about if you’re interested (that wasn’t the focus of the ask so i don’t want to give you advice you don’t want, but if you are curious, just send another ask!)

————————————————————————

some arospec identities you might want to explore are:

aromantic - a person who feels little to no romantic attraction

aroflux - a person whose feelings of romantic attraction fluctuate (whether that is in terms of strength or in terms of whether or not you actually feel romantic attraction)

greyromantic/grayromantic - a person who very rarely feels romantic attraction or feels romantic attraction very weakly

quoiromantic - a person who has a hard time distinguishing platonic and romantic attraction or doesn’t know if they feel romantic attraction

————————————————————————

i hope this helps, and don’t forget to drink your water and eat your garlic bread!

disclaimer: this isn’t meant to exclude anyone or make anyone feel left out! everyone’s experiences are different!

#placeholder #arospec #actually aromantic #aromantic positivity #arospec positivity #aspec #queer #aromantic pride #aro #aromantic #submission

[unholy-poets]

Some short ROTTMNT headcanons because I'm hyperfixated and too tired to write a lot. I am also only on S1 EP14.

Mikey;

-Is colourblind in blue and pink [meaning he sees most blues as purple and grey, and pinks as purple or orange, like I do IRL]

-uses he/paint/they pronouns

-aromantic spectrum but also mpec

-diabetic type one and also has ADHD

Raph;

-is dyslexic and has minor dyscalcula

-uses he/him pronouns

-mspec but ace spectrum

-has an acute phobia of dogs

Leon;

-prefers the name Leon to Leo as he enjoys the link to art, as he always wants to understand it and even try out creative medias himself—he just doesn't know how to ask Mikey for help

-uses he/him pronouns

-he doesn't like labels, but also just likes who he likes

-fear of abandoment and acute agoraphobia

Donnie;

-[obviously] autistic but also has chronic fatigue syndrome, but he doesn't know he has it until April mentions something to him because the symptoms overlap with autistic traits.

-uses tech/bot/it/he pronouns due to his disconnect with gender and his comfort in technology

-gay male but somewhat arospec

-the fear his low empathy makes him seem uncaring towards his brothers when he's not, he just doesn't know how to show he means well, and he's angry that he physically can not care.

April;

-ADHD haver

-uses she/they/he/thon pronouns because she's not too attached to gender, but he also doesn't feel a connection to most xeno/neopronouns

-they like women, but thon considers herself as mspec yet also on the aromantic spectrum

-he's scared that thon won't be able to achieve academic greatness, but there's still a lot of pressure to do well—Donnie usually helps April when the other clearly needs it

Also—they're mutants (baring April) so these could all be possible, leave me alone. Once I've watched more of the show—and I grew up on the 2003 TMNT—I'll probably have more headcanons to put.

[—Gav]

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #headcanon #tmnt 2018 #rise of tmnt #queer headcanons #autistic headcanon #autistic artist #fanfic stuff #lazy

[squireofgeekdom]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

oh this was tricky. if you ask me next week the answer will probably be different XD I tried to narrow it down by limiting myself to complete works that were also standalone

From most to least recent:

when you’re gone we won’t say a word (but you know that’s okay) Star Trek Strange New Worlds, S1E10, Alt Future Pike, Pike&Spock, 10.9k, Dec 2022

"“Time is, uh, is complicated. But the monks showed me something simple. Every time we change the path, he dies.” - alternate future Christopher Pike, ‘A Quality of Mercy’ “I wanted a voice that sounded like it had given up a little bit after lots of emotional turmoil. So I thought, what would my voice sound like if I had spent a lot of time sobbing and screaming? - Anson Mount, about playing the alternate future Pike in ‘A Quality of Mercy’ What took a Christopher Pike back to Boreth, and back to convince himself to accept his fate? What did he see?"

I knew I was going to end up writing this like, within hours of watching the episode. Time travel fridge horror, how could I resist? I struggled with how to end it and the bittersweet note I hit on made me cry the most.

Ghosts in Your Head, Ghosts in My Head The Flash, Pacific Rim AU, Cisco & Harry, Cisco and Eobard, 33.9k, Sep-Nov 2022

"We can vanquish the impossible if we can learn to trust again. - Guillermo Del Toro they're so drift compatible it's!?!? i'm JUST i might be Compelled to write this - me, June 20th, 2021 --- Harrison Wells has no intention of ever entering a Shatterdome again, determined to leave the ghost of the tragic loss of his co-pilot and wife from his last time piloting a jaeger firmly in the past, to focus on raising Jesse. Cisco Ramon is a jaeger engineer, not a pilot, focused on retrofitting a badly damaged Gen 3 jaeger, keeping the ghost of his one and only drift, and the truth of the tragic accident in his Shatterdome, close to his chest - and hidden behind his goggles. But some things don’t stay buried - or in the basement - forever. And to cancel the apocalypse, they may both have to face their own ghosts..."

This was published between September and November of 2022, so you can tell from the quote in the summary (from talking with my canoe buddy @philcoulsonismyhero, who helped turn this from rambling into a fic and was a fantastic first reader) it was a while in development. This was my 100th fic on Ao3 and I really wanted it to be that milestone because I love it, I love the concept, and I feel like I really captured a huge chunk of what keeps me coming back to writing about the Flash, and specifically Cisco and Harry and Wellsobard/Eobard. I think I managed to make it something that's readable if you don't know the Flash while something that has a lot of interesting adaptations and twists from the Flash if you do know the source material. I also had a fun time tweaking and playing with the world of Pacific Rim to fit the narrative. And also just. Cisco and Harry are so drift compatible, y'all. They just. Are.

Blank Slate, Artificial Boxes Murderbot Diaries, Aggressively Arospec Week 2021, 2.2k, Jun 2021

"“I’m probably the one who has the best chance of getting it, anyway.” I rolled my eyes at the ceiling. “Because you're augmented?” The difference between an augmented human and a murderbot is like … the difference between a chihuahua and a cyborg wolf-construct with cloned organic components. Or something. “Because I’m aromantic.” That… shouldn’t have been surprising, actually. And it was something we had in common, as much as I was loath to admit having something in common with Gurathin. And - well, it did have something to do with this. “That has nothing to do with this,” I said."

It was *really* hard to pick a fic for this slot - two days ago I might have gone with More Than This, an older aro-centric fic about Obi-Wan Kenobi that I also love very very much and definitely gets an honorable mention. But something that stands out about this fic is that I was trying to hit a very distinctive writing and character/narrator voice, and I think I really did.

conquest of spaces Pacific Rim, Post-Uprising Fix It, 27.1k, Apr-May 2018

"It takes a Shatterdome to save two people the Precursors have tried to destroy, and to help them put the pieces back together in the aftermath. A story about liquor and ice cream, donuts and decaf coffee, kaiju-blood rocket boots, and, in Pacific Rim tradition, the power of science and people too stubborn to give up on each other."

I have fanart for this fic from my dearest alex (who I also spent extensive time discussing this fic and drift and precursor hivemind mechanics with) over my desk, it's not a hard call to put it in the top 5 :D (Honorable mention to Hold, a fic from Cass's run as Batgirl that I have art over my desk for) This fic is tagged The power of friendship and THE POWER OF SCIENCE, it is very Me. :D This also introduces Kay and the neuroscience team, a collection of OC's who you'll see many other places in my fics :D

What You Can't Run From The Flash & Supergirl, Cisco Ramon & J'onn J'onzz + Eobard Thawne, 7.4k, November 2016

Or: Martian Manhunter vs the Reverse Flash When Cisco is kidnapped by the Reverse Flash and ends up sending them both to Supergirl's Earth, it's up to J'onn J'onzz to kick some ass and do some rescuing. But that might require going further into Eobard Thawne's head than he ever wanted to go, and dredging up some of his own memories...

I periodically go back and reread this fic and yall. It slaps, as I believe the kids say. It's an early crystallization of my love of weird mindscape & unreality tropes. It hits on a lot of feelings about Cisco and Eobard that I would end up going back to over and over (and continue to) in many different angles and variations. It has confrontation and foils between DCTV's two 'glowing red eyes mentors who are not who they seem'. It has J'onn and Cisco bonding. What more could I ask for from past me.

#squire talks #squire's adventures in the archive #i will try and remember to pass this on via asks but i need to get ready to. sleep. #so if you're interested feel free to go do this and tag me!

[moo9395]

hi… u said if u have any questions about being aro spec ask you, and i guess this isn’t really a question but i’ve never spoken about this with anyone and as much as i’ve read stuff and have heard aro people talking and read books about them and i’ve never doubted that there’s anything ‘broken’ about it, i do feel really broken. lol. so i could maybe do with some like. reassurance??? idk. sorry if this is too much feel free to not read this all. i do have a question actually but ill put it clearly at the end in case u dont want to read all this lol.

so i’m fairly sure im arospec and have been suspicious for probably a couple of years now. but i’ve never really spoken about it because i guess im only just realising, like, oh shit what if i’m not going to ever have a romantic relationship, but its not because nobody likes me, its because i dont like (nearly) anybody. and even the person i do like i’m not even sure i’d want to be in a relationship with??? it’s really scary.

what i’ve also realised is that even if i don’t want a romantic relationship, i really really want a qpr. like i love the idea of it, it literally sounds perfect to me. but that really scares me because i feel like nobody will ever want that. what if i never get that? i don’t think i’m a person that would be okay with being on my own forever. i feel like a little kid who doesn’t want their friends to grow up and get in relationships and for us all to just live together.

on a related note, man it really sucks when you feel like the way you love your friends is so much like. deeper. than how they love you. like i feel like for me, they’re it. like i dont think i could ever love someone in a deeper way than i do my friends, like i love them in the way that people talk about loving their spouses and stuff. but for them, no matter how much they love me, for them its JUST ‘as a friend’… whereas for me, that’s like the highest form of love. idk if this makes sense sorry. but yeah i just don’t know how to navigate this really.

///question: do you have any advice for how to navigate coming to terms with myself being arospec/maybe even being entirely aro. because i don’t know how to deal with it really.

First of all I’m not an expert. I’ve known I was aroace spec for almost 3 years. But I have definitely not entirely figured myself out. I really appreciate this actually because it’s given me a chance to really look into aromanticism in depth so thank you :)))

Sorry this took so long I spent ages trying to work out what I was going to say and how to say it.

Not entirely happy with it but I think it’s the best I can do

I'm glad you were able to kind of vent here because I think that's important.

Finding someone to talk to might help you understand and come to terms with stuff but if you don't have anyone you could talk to or you wouldn't feel comfortable it might be good to keep a diary?

Like not a diary of an account of each day (unless you want to) but just something you randomly do to just vent.

It's something I do sometimes and I really enjoy it.

Coming to terms with being aromantic is a big deal.

I honestly am in the same position about having a person that I’m not sure whether or not it’s romantic attraction.

Unfortunately I literally have no advice for that.

I don’t even know what I’m going to do about it.

You could try explaining to them, especially if you think they like you back and then you can try it and if it doesn’t work you could pursue a QPR if they’re comfortable.

I really don’t know what to say to be honest.

For anyone reading this who has advice please reblog or comment something.

I have no personal experience with a QPR. So all of the stuff I’m about to say is from research.

A ‘quick’ explanation (feel free to skip):

A queer platonic relationship (QPR) is usually a non sexual, non romantic, relationship that is sometimes viewed as a ‘step above friendship’. In its simplest form it’s a close emotional bond between people.

A QPR has no real definition though. It’s something that’s decided by the people involved.

Because of this a QPR looks slightly different for everyone depending on the needs/ wants of the people involved. It can involve ‘date nights’, and sexual or sensual contact/intimacy.

A queer platonic partner can be any gender and doesn’t have to be aroace themselves. They can also be in their own non romantic relationships in some cases.

People in a QPR do sometimes have sex, either if both are not asexual or sometimes for the emotional intimacy benefit.

As I said I have no first hand experience with a QPR but it is something I would probably consider in the future.

I can't really give advice on how to form/ find a QPR, but if you find yourself wanting one with a specific person tell them. Either they'll accept or they won't but if you don't ask you won't know.

You could also try going to local LGBTQIA+ groups (if those are available) and maybe you'll meet someone or you'll get advice there.

Again, I have no experience with QPRs personally so I'd recommend doing some research :)

Friendships are such a big deal for aroace people and I think it’s said that it’s not something that’s understood by others.

The community is criminally underrepresented and poorly understood.

Question - For advice on coming to terms with it.

I honestly really struggle with my own aromanticism so it feels like I’m not equipped to be telling people but I’ll do my best.

First of all you need to remember that romance isn’t the be all and end all of life.

My parents don’t know that I’m arospec but they’ve always assured me and my siblings that romance isn’t everything in life and that if we never find anyone that doesn’t make us any less of a person or any less important.

You should make sure you surround yourself with people who love you.

It’s quite a common thing to hear people say “There’s someone out there for everyone”, “plenty more fish in the sea”, the whole soulmates thing etc and although a lot of those people are referring to that in terms of romance I think it’s true in other forms of love as well.

Even if you feel like there’s nobody there will always be someone who loves you and cares about you.

You have a purpose in life and that purpose is not bound to relationships.

I don’t know who you are but I value you and I care about you and I know that there are other people who feel the same.

You're also not alone in your experience. Find some aromantic friends, either online or in real life.

You could join a group/club or there's a lot of discord servers available.

Religious stuff ⬇️ (incase you don’t want to see it)

I really debated including this because I don’t think it’s relateable for a large portion of the people who will see it but it is something that’s very true for me so I think it’s important to include.

I am a religious (Christian) personally, it’s something I was raised in but also something I’ve come to know and value for myself.

Because of my faith I believe I was made by God in his likeness and so I know that I’ve been designed with a purpose.

And that includes my aromanticism. Despite how much I sometimes wish otherwise.

God made me with a purpose and I intend to live out that purpose.

Although I doubt it’ll be a comfort for many of the people who find this. It is a comfort for me and hopefully at least one person who finds this will find some comfort in it.