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hedgehog-moss · 2 months

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Ant lovers, this is not the post for you, I'm sorry.

I have a big anthill in the worst location, between my house and the greenhouse, so that the ants are invading me on two different fronts! Over the past two months or so I've tried a lot of methods to make the ants feel unwelcome, from the humane Earth Mother approach to more aggressive ones, but nothing worked. Flooding them with water. Then boiling water. Dish soap. Vinegar. Diatomaceous earth, which usually solves just about every problem. The ants did not care. I tried asking, then suggesting, then bargaining, then insisting, then threatening, then

Sorry, ants. You should have taken my threats seriously.

I meant to wait until everything was fully consumed before extinguishing the fire, but then I realised I was out of dog food (when you buy one of these 20kg bags of kibble you always feel like it'll never run out and then it does in the most unexpected and untimely manner, every time). I had time to pop by the store before it closed, and by this point the fire was just a few embers left at the bottom of the tragic moon crater that used to be a magnificent ant palace. You can see my chickens keeping an eye on it from above:

I fully trust my chickens but still, before I left I went to tell the carpenter working in my barn today that I've been burning an anthill, the fire is almost out but could he glance out the window every now and then while I'm in town, and maybe go and throw a bucket of water if he sees my house engulfed in flames? I'm just going on a quick, half-hour errand.

He agreed, so I left.

I ran into the librarian at the grocery shop, who of course invited me over for a cup of tea. It's genuinely impossible to say no to such offers—I mean, you say no and then you end up at the librarian's house having tea anyway. You'd think the possibility of my house and llamas going up in flames if I don't go home to monitor the embers would be a foolproof excuse to get out of a tea invitation, but there are no excuses. The librarian wanted me to taste the giant cookie she baked and she wanted to talk about something stupid our president said or did recently and I had no choice but to follow her.

But it's okay, the carpenter and the hens are on top of the situation!

Still, I felt antsy (sorry) as I sat in the librarian's kitchen and watched her feed Pandolf cookie crumbs. (She had some crumbs set aside for her own dog, but her dog is tiny and scared of Pandolf so she remained at the other end of the kitchen, intensely interested in the unattainable cookie crumbs, mentally willing Pandolf to disappear from her kitchen, vibrating with despair, the picture of anguish.)

I tried to use Pandolf as a pretext to cut my visit short, but I had zero cooperation from my traitor dog. "We've been gone a while, he probably needs to pee!"

The librarian asked me about the carpentry stuff going on in my barn right now and I didn't want to start a whole new conversation which would inevitably lead to half a dozen anecdotes about construction work, when I'd already had such trouble wrapping up the let's-trash-talk-Macron conversation (it's not that I don't want to trash talk Macron. But my house was burning, maybe.)

I tried to point out again that my house was probably ashes by now and the librarian said serenely, "Well, your carpenter will feel obligated to hurry up and finish the job much faster if you have no house anymore and must move into the barn."

I agreed that there's an upside to everything, but still. I had to go.

Just as I was leaving the librarian's house, I saw the carpenter's car entering town. I waved at him and he stopped and opened the window and told me everything was going well, and I said, "And the fire? It must be out by now."

"What fire?"

He had absolutely not checked the fire. (He was standing next to a noisy machine when I made my request so it's possible he didn't hear me well and figured I was checking on his work and just went "Yeah, all good!") (I'm trying to be fair)

And yes, okay, it was just a few embers at the bottom of a pit with heavy, wet winter earth all around, but I'm a pessimist so I threw Pandolf into my car and drove home at full speed. For some reason what I pictured during this quick, worried drive home was ant payback. A long line of determined ants stretching from their ravaged anthill to my house, each one of them carrying a tiny burning twig. I don't think two chickens would be enough to suppress that.

When I reached my dirt road, I couldn't see my house from afar but could see a plume of smoke in the middle of the woods. It looked pretty small, but still, I was relieved when I got closer and found that the smoke rose from the exact location of the anthill and nowhere else.

I'd taken precautions, like wetting the earth around the pit and choosing a day when some rain was expected in the evening, but a lot of forces conspired to ensure the embers were left unattended, from a forgetful (or confused) carpenter to Pandolf's love of cookie crumbs and the librarian's inescapable friendliness. (She whatsapped me to ask if my house was on fire and I said (jokingly) no, but no thanks to you!! And she was a bit contrite and said, it's Macron :( we spent too long on this topic... And I said no I know, of course I blame Macron and she sent me a handshake emoji)

The ants were not in an avenging mood btw, they were teeming around the crater looking quite defeated, it made me sad. (But I hope they're defeated.) I didn't throw my bucket of water over it straight away because I was a bit fascinated by the inside of the anthill, from up close it looked like the Mines of Moria.

I crouched down next to the ants and we wordlessly watched the last embers slowly die as night fell over the pasture. It was very atmospheric until Pirlouit started braying with absolute fury because it was almost dark and his evening hay was still nowhere to be seen.

#crawling along

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kremlin · 8 months

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"This event ends the moment you write us a check, and it better not bounce, or you're a dead motherfucker" -- Big Bill Hell

There was a time when you'd see little old ladies paying for the groceries with a hand-written personal check, holding up the line, causing an immediately-forgiven slight sense of annoyance with those behind her. Buddy. Those days are over. They've been over. What, did you think you were going to just pop a couple extra zeroes on the end of your paycheck there? Maybe scan your paycheck, open it in photoshop, make a template, print em out all nice? You think you're the first to think of that, dipshit?

It takes the law a long time to catch up with the state of the art. You're reading this on the internet, which means you never use checks. The law has caught up. Your ass will be going to prison immediately and you will see zero return.

You can't even kite checks anymore, and hell, nobody under 40 will even know what that means, due to the blazing fast, two day settlement on all ACH transactions. Let me paint you a picture.

You get paid on Friday, but it is Monday, and bills are due on Tuesday. And you're broke: $0 in the bank. Goose egg. Pop open your checkbook, go to a store, "buy" some things, write a check for the amount. The cashier takes it!

Now take those things you "bought", across town, to another store location, and return them for cold hard cash. Sweet. Bills paid. Friday rolls around, and you just make it to the bank to deposit your paycheck before it closes. After the weekend, the checks you wrote finally post, and they don't bounce! You've kited a check. You've surreptitiously taken a zero-interest loan. And we know your broke ass. The interest rate on that short-term payday loan should have been straight up usurious. We're talking 29%. That makes predatory fuckers like us horny for sex. We're so mad. Now you are going to Federal Prison. For a good minute. Fuckface.

COST: $0.10 (With banks offering free checking accounts + Bic pen)

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor sleet, if you fuck with the mail, we'll rip your nuts off" -- Ronald Mail (Inventor of Mail)

Many people have this misnomer that the most powerful people in politics are democratically elected. The president, of the United States, of America, is a stupid cartoon hotdog. All of them, I don't care. Way less clout than you'd think. Brilliantly, it is the people that the hotdog president appoints who are actually doing anything significant. The director of the CIA. The fucking chairman of the Federal Reserve. Probably the, like, most senior, uh, general of the military, and shit too. I don't know, we don't "do" army here at Bloomberg. You probably don't even know their names! I don't! These are the ones you should be seeing in your sleep.

There's another position like that. Appointed directly by the hotdog. The Postmaster General. That's a real title. He's the CEO of the mail, and buddy, what he may lack in political power relative to the director of the CEO, he makes up in raw sexual energy. Total Tom Selleck energy. Like an airline pilot. We're talking Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I'm tentpoling in my black business slacks just writing this, and all my Bloomberg newsroom bros are peering over my shoulder and also tent-poling. We're not gay though, and especially me, I'm probably the least gay, but sometimes I just lay awake for hours at night what that mustache would feel like pressed against my lips, the unbelievable and utter, total sense of security I'd feel burying my head into his hard chest.

You get it. He's your dad. And if you fuck with the mail, you've fucked with the tools in your dad's garage. And dad's been drinking. You're in for it, bucko, you are in trouble. Do you think the United States Postal Service actually makes any money? Hell no. It costs like five bucks to mail a box basically anywhere I can think of and they give you the boxes for free. You can just walk in the post office and take them. I do that, and then just throw them away, I don't know why, some kind of compulsion. Being able to move shit around like this, quickly, cheaply -- Jesus H, I've got a huge amount of money in my bank account, probably tens of trillions of dollars (due to financial knowledge gained from reading Bloomberg articles) and I could probably mail every single person ever something and still come out in the black.

No way pal. They've thought of that already. The Postmaster General is going to know every time, and he's going to grab you by the shirt collar, wearing his cool as fuck hat, and you're going to get your pants pulled down, and your bare ass spanke...I need to go use the restroom real quick.

We rely on the mail system to get important shit done. It's not something to be taken lightly, and it isn't. Trust me. This is why, like almost every other person who receives mail in this year 2023, I just fucking put a wastebasket under my mail slot. I don't even shred that shit anymore. I just burn it. Takes less time.

COST: $0.63 (Postal stamp)

"Can call all you want, but there's no one home // And you're not gonna reach my telephone // Out in the club, and I'm sipping that bubb // And you're not gonna reach my telephone" -- Lady Gaga

I read something wild that the children of today do not know what a dial tone is, because of how fucked up and stupid they are. Isn't that super fucked up?

While it's not really our style, allow me to fill you in on some ancient, arcane knowledge about the telephone. You can turn it on, and then you can punch in numbers. Any numbers. Random ones, or maybe not random ones. If the ten numbers you punch in are the same as the numbers in someone else's telephone number, their phone will ring, and then you are talking to them. This is called "Phreaking".

Here's the kicker: You can tell that jackass anything you want. "Oh, Hi, Yes, I am Reginald Sumpter calling from Avalon Consulting LLC, we are just following up on the invoice we sent you. Please remit to ###### routing ###### account."

BOOM! Your name isn't Reginald whatever and that company doesn't exist, but you just received a deposit. It's fucking beautiful. What have you done wrong? It isn't your responsibility to handle who your business' clients/etc are, it's their's. If they want to just pay you money for no real reason, well, that's kind of on them, isn't it? I haven't stuck a pistol in your face and demanded everything in the register.

Well, it's too clever. It's too slick. This is the United States of America. It's one thing to commit a felony like armed robbery, it's another thing to piss off someone in charge of the accounting division who uses a special bathroom you need a key to get into.

You can do it on the computer too, I use a PC Computer at work and send email, so you can see how it'd work there. You can make a document that is indifferentiable from a real invoice and, straight up, 1/3 of the time they will pay that shit. Lmfao.

It's called wire fraud because, uhh, duhhhh, there's wires. What do you think that thing is strung between the telephone receiver and the dialer? And computers? Give me a break. There's so many wires with those.

COST: $0.25 (Coin for payphone)

"People calculate too much and think too little." -- Charlie Munger

It is insane how dumb the common man can be when it comes to our world of expertise. I hear this same sentiment, like, ALL THE TIME:

"Durr hurr I will buy an insurance policy for my car or house or whatever so that in case something happens to it I will get money". And then that same person proceeds to drive safely or not burn their house down. Dumbest crap imaginable.

Let me break it down for you. Insurance is a two player competitive game. There is a winner and there is a loser. Go take out an expensive insurance policy on your American sports car. Buy a neck brace, a football helmet, and pack that bitch with throw pillows. Then get in the left lane of a major highway at like noonish, let it rip and then SLAM on your brakes. Hit from behind! Your fault! Congratulations. You have won insurance. How this gets past people is beyond me.

You can only do this once or twice before the insurance companies catch on. Then they don't want to fuck with you. It is also..I don't know man...something feels off about taking a car or a house, which like, some guy had to build and just destroying it, but that is only a weird emotional thing, since you're making money, more than whatever the destroyed thing is worth, so in reality you've built that house plus some extra. You've contributed.

COST: $106.00 (Average monthly car insurance payment)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

SUBSCRIBE TO MY WHATEVER FOR PART TWO, COMING SOON. i'll post it later today probably. whatever time frame will juice the numbers. have a sneaky peaky

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piratefalls · 6 months

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“You are", he says, "the absolute worst idea I've ever had.” - me @ ao3 after watching the movie and thinking "there's probably fic for this."

i like lists. i've lost sleep reading fic like it's gonna disappear the second i look away. i'm making my problem yours. i'm sure a lot of these won't be new to people since they pre-date the movie and it's far from comprehensive but. i'm late to this party. i also can't make gifs, so enjoy the basic canva header.

(baby) don't make me spell it out by extasiswings

One night near the end of first semester 1L finals, just a few weeks before the two-year anniversary of their first kiss, Alex finds himself looking up from his desk with its messy piles of color-coded notes and tabbed textbooks to see Henry asleep on the couch, clearly having dozed off waiting for him to come to bed, and unbidden he thinks, God, I’m going to marry this man. It startles him, the spike of adrenaline that floods through him waking him up and bringing the parts of his brain turning over concepts like proximate cause and strict liability to a standstill as he stares at Henry. I want to marry this man.

God Save the Blessed American President Mom by zipadeea

["June stopped by at lunch; she showed me a delightful channel called Hallmark, which repeats the same story every hour after they swap one round of white, straight, small-town conventionally beautiful actors for another. It was entertaining.” “June and I used to play a drinking game with those. Take a shot every time someone goes ice skating, sledding, or leaves the big city for their tiny hometown.” “Good lord, you must’ve been sloshed in the first ten minutes.”] -- On December 4, 2021, an attempt is made on President Ellen Claremont's life. Alex gets shot instead.

Familiar Gravity by cmere

“Yeah,” Alex breathes, and he pulls back to look Henry in the eyes. “I’ve been fantasizing about you fucking me in this chair for, like, weeks. Every time you sit down here with your stupid book.” Henry likes it when Alex speaks Spanish and Alex has a request.

Am I the Asshole? by everwitch

AITA for spending Valentine’s Day with my roommate instead of my boyfriend? It’s well past midnight on a Saturday and hardly the first time Alex has scrolled aimlessly on his phone instead of trying to sleep, but it’s definitely the first goddamn time Alex has discovered his roommate has made a lengthy post about last night’s curry debacle to r/AmItheAsshole — a post that’s apparently gone fucking viral. -- In which Alex and Henry are college roommates, and a few thousand strangers think they should fuck.

Everybody needs good neighbours by railmedaddy

To nora(9.37pm): So a funny thing happened My hot neighbour brought me the mcflurry i ordered and we fucked From nora (9.38pm): WHAT DETAILS NOW Which neighbour? Wait, you only have one hot neighbour. Alex, did you fuck a guy?!?!?! ALEX Or Alex meets a hot new neighbour. Shenanigans ensue.

A Picture on Your Corkboard by bleedingballroomfloor

It happens on a random morning in May when Alex, age fourteen, pads into the kitchen to greet his mother and steal a waffle from June's plate and sees a man sitting at their breakfast counter, reading a newspaper, a cup of coffee raised to his lips. Like he belongs. Like it's the most natural thing in the world. June doesn't seem to give the man a second thought. She merely flicks Alex on the forehead and takes back the waffle. Ellen isn't worrying, either. In fact, she's talking to him. Asking what his schedule is like. Making plans for dinner. Alex has never seen this man before in his life.

this is the worthwhile fight by dearhappy

It's not that Henry's scared of their future, he's never been more sure of anything in his life. The thing is they're still trying to figure out how that future is going to look. And he worries about how it'll affect Alex's career in politics.

Déjame Ver Cómo Es Que Floreces by 14carrotgold

Oscar gets in close and bluntly asks, “Earlier. In the bathroom. Did you do it?” Alex scoffs, “No. Don't be a perv. Why would you wanna know that anyway?” Oscar rolls his eyes. “Mind out of the gutter, chamaco. Did you propose?” Ah. - Henry is introduced to the extended Diaz side of the family at their matriarch's birthday. Shenanigans (and romance and feelings) ensue.

Please Don't Let Me Be So Understood by chamel

“I’m glad you both see it that way,” Dr. Chen says. Then she closes her notebook and folds her hands on top of it. “I think I’m starting to get a sense of where the issues lie. The good news is that you’re both here, and you’re both willing to work on this relationship. That’s promising. Not all of the couples I see are even at that point.” “Sorry, what?” Henry says, voicing Alex’s stuttering thoughts as well. (After one too many fights at work, Henry and Alex are assigned mandatory reconciliation therapy by their boss. Except the therapist thinks they're there for couples therapy... and surely, a bet on who will break first makes more sense than actually correcting her, right?)

Such a Burden, This Flame on My Chest by allmylovesatonce

Alex Claremont-Diaz is relocating back to Austin to join his dad's firehouse. His days as a firefighter in Washington D.C. ended badly, but no one knows that, or knows why. And he plans to keep that close to his chest. He has to shove it back down if he wants to seem like a normal person, if he wants to do the job, if he wants to get along with his new crew, and most of all, if he wants to get to know the hot British firefighter on the squad. No one can know what really happened.

thinking (about last night) by rhosyn_du

“I hope you know that I am literally never going to stop reminding you that you said that. I’m going to, like, take out an ad in the student paper. Maybe hire a skywriter or something. I am definitely telling Pez." "I hate you," Henry tells him. "Lies," Alex says, still laughing. "You know you love me." Henry lets out a heavy sigh. "Well," he says softly, "that's rather the problem, isn't it?" “What, you think we’d be better off if we still hated each other?” “I think," Henry says slowly, "I’d be better off if I could figure out how to stop being so stupidly in love with you.” It takes a few seconds for the words to really register, as distracted as Alex is by the heat of Henry’s breath and wondering how much it would cost to actually hire a skywriter. Once they do, it takes a full minute before Alex can move. Can breathe. Can think. Finally, he forces out a whispered, “What?” When that gets no response, he tries again. This time, his voice actually cooperates. “Wait, what?” The only response he gets is a soft snore and Alex realizes that Henry, the utter fucking asshole, has passed out on his shoulder.

you're the reason i let myself fall by perfect-porcelain (tedddylupin)

Alex doesn't quite know what to expect when he walks into a room with a glowing screen separating him from the person in the other pod. The entire experience makes him skeptical. How can you fall in love with someone you've never met? Or: Love is Blind AU

Sharper Head, Wilder Heart by Dawg1515

"This could work out,” Henry offers. “It could,” Alex replies. “That’s good, then. Someone’s going to have to walk me through the brilliance of Empire Strikes Back, after all.” “Sweetheart, if we’re legitimately dating now, I’m forcing you to watch every movie that has Harrison Ford in it.” “Duly noted.” Or: When the Queen decides it’s time for Henry to settle down with a woman, she arranges a courtship between him and Alex Claremont-Diaz, closeted political powerhouse. Alex secretly tells Henry he’s trans, and Henry tells Alex that he’s gay. To say they become an amazing couple would be an understatement—but nothing is ever that easy for a prince and a president’s son.

every version of you (i love) by coffeecatsme

“So,” the voice narrates as the man squishes the dog’s cheeks and laughs at himself. “There’s this guy that lives next to me with the cutest beagle in the world and this little guy climbs to the fence every day to drop his toys off at, like, 5:30 on the dot, I’m not kidding.” The camera shows the man boop the dog’s nose and press a little kiss to his forehead. There’s a ball in his hands that he hands to the dog, but it slips from his mouth all over again, making the man reach down to grab it. He glares at the dog, but even then he’s still smiling. “And this guy always walks by and picks up the stuff and it’s the cutest fucking thing ever you have no idea.” The camera zooms in farther into the man’s smile, genuine and wild, as he pushes his wild curls away from his face. His eyes flicker up when another figure walks into the frame, his blonde hair falling over his forehead in waves. The man’s smile, impossibly, widens. “Oh. I’m also pretty sure he has a crush on my neighbor.” Or, 5 times David greets Alex with something that belongs to Henry, and 1 time he greets Alex with something that belongs to both of them.

The Duke Who Loved Me by annesbonny, Inareskai, schmulte

This Author knows as well as anyone how much you, gentle readers, enjoy a scandal and a love story. And what could bring more delight that two young gentlemen who bring both of those wherever they go? Join the Duke of Mountchristen and the, untitled, Mr Claremont-Diaz as they attempt to find a Love Match amongst the gossip of the ton.

The Edge of Glory by politics_and_prose

Subject: CD-10 To: Alex Claremont-Diaz ([email protected]) From: Natasha Wallace ([email protected]) Alex - You know how you jokingly told me to let you know when Mayfield was vulnerable and/or not seeking re-election? Tash

lying in the low light by smc_27

The thing about having a one night stand with the guy your sister is close friends with and gatekept from you is that it becomes really fucking important that she never knows. Or, Alex and Henry have a one year stand. Or, Alex and Henry are in a relationship, only they’re the only ones who don’t know it.

what we might do (if we stop keeping a secret) by indomitablelove

'This isn't how I wanted to tell people. I thought we'd get the chance to do it right.' - Red, White and Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston, p.327 --- or, in another world, Alex and Henry get to do it right.

Who Could Love You The Same as I by MariaDmitrievnaLikesSundays

Inside was exactly what Alex had found himself dreaming about ever since that night at Kensington. The kind of dreams that he forced himself to forget once he woke up, but dreams all the same. A gold band, simple and smooth, with a single square diamond embedded on top. It was small, modest, exactly to Alex’s taste. ”Holy shit,” he said again. “Holy shit.” That was a ring. That was, unmistakably, an engagement ring. Hidden in his boyfriend’s coat. And he had just found it.

—— Or, Alex finds the engagement ring that Henry had hidden, and does exactly what you’d expect him to.

As the World Falls Down by 3bowtruckles

So while we all knew that the 2020 written in the book would be glorious fiction, we didn’t realize that reality would throw us something to take 2020 even further away from the book’s events. This story is where I attempt to merge our 2020 reality and the fiction of RWRB, using research (a LOT of research) to try to figure out what the trajectory of reality might have been. The story starts picking up the timeline after their late-February trip to Paris. After that, it's strictly AU, but I try to keep a lot of the intents of the events in the book (for instance, Alex's trip to confront Henry in Britain after the lake) while still making them fit the narrative I've created.

We'll Change the World Yet to our Dessire [sic] by cresswells

Alex and Henry are engaged and ready to share their announcement with the world, but after the media circus surrounding their forced outing Queen Mary wants them to do things properly this time. To Alex’s surprise, ‘properly’ apparently means taking a Royal Tour around Europe as an official couple. Ten days, five countries and lots of unnecessary wardrobe changes. What could possibly go wrong?

where clouds look like mountains by weather_stained

Four months after the election, while still learning to navigate the complexities of being in a public relationship, Alex finally has the chance to show Henry around Austin.

We'll Invite Something In by smc_27

Alex is grinning a little too hard. This is absolutely idiotic and pointless and fun. The cover of Hello UK with a photo of him pulled out and a photo of His Royal Highness Prince Henry Fox-Mountchristen whatever the hell the rest of his names are (Alex knows; he being a dick) with the admittedly stupid but flattering headline which reads: His Royal Highness: He’s just like us and crushes on Pres ACD.

Henry's Cold, Empty Tower by DracoWillHearAboutThis

“I want you,” Henry said, slowly but clearly, “to leave.” When Alex storms Kensington Palace, Henry sends him away. Then, their relationship gets leaked, and it's Henry's turn to fight for Alex.

behind the diamond-shaped glass by Celaestis

Five times Alex and Henry used tea and biscuits to communicate, and one time they don't need to.

The Byline by rosetintednerdglasses

Press Secretary Alex Claremont-Diaz serves at the pleasure of the President, and he does it excellently until a new White House correspondent darkens his press room: Henry Fox, The Guardian.

we've been here forever (here's the frozen proof) by r_holland

Objectively, I am aware that you – a stranger – cannot tell me my own sexuality any better than I can, however... Can you, please? Tell me? It’s 4am and I have been thinking about this for hours, and I can’t sleep. Warmest regards, ACD *** It’s four in the morning, and Alex Claremont-Diaz has managed to follow a research spiral straight down into a personal crisis. It isn’t the first time.

words on the tip of your tongue (but please don't say them) by viciouslyqueer

So close. He was so close to saying those words that have lived inside him for so long, and now it's gone, a moment that slipped right between his fingertips before he could grasp it. Now he’s floating in the middle of the lake alone, the ghost of Henry’s touch still lingering on his skin and an unknown, heartbreaking feeling in his chest. — Or: canon-divergence where Henry doesn't leave the lake house.

The Grand Tour by lucky (revolutionbarbie)

When Henry returned from an audience with Queen Mary looking stony faced and grim, Alex had immediately feared the worst. She had requested to see Henry – and Henry alone – the moment their plane had landed at Heathrow on a visit to Pez’s new shelter in London. Alex had suggested that they go to see her together just to spite the old hag, but Henry wanted to keep the peace. Since moving to Brooklyn, they had entered into an uncomfortable détente with Queen Mary and Henry was loathe to be the one to break it. “She wants us to go to Australia. It would be an unofficial Royal Tour, of sorts, with stops in several cities and a short visit to New Zealand. Three and a half weeks in total.” “She wants to send us on an all-expenses paid Australian getaway? Count me in.”

come and get me by rizcriz

The email arrives 8 days after Henry left the lake house. He contemplates deleting it without reading, but it sits in his Alex inbox, where there are over seventy emails favourited, and somehow it feels wrong and weirdly impersonal. As if leaving without a note were any different. He stares at the from line with an aching longing that seeps into his veins. It settles on his heart like a tangible thing; something warranted and cruel that casts shackles around the aorta and locks them tight so that he might never love again. -- or, alex sends an email instead of flying to KP.

Never Did Run Smooth by clottedcreamfudge

"You and me? Best friends. Stellar. Love that for us. But we could absolutely fake being in love. Dating. Whatever. I know literally everything about you—" (No you don't, Henry thinks firmly) "—and you know everything about me. We would absolutely fucking annihilate the other contestants.” "You're too drunk to apply," Henry points out, like he himself isn't about as wasted as it's possible for him to be without curling up and going immediately to sleep. "I doubt you could spell your own name right on the application. Or mine." Alex grins and pulls something up on his phone; it looks like it takes him a few tries. "Wanna fucking bet?" *** Or: Henry's life is a comedy of errors; a patchwork of oopsie-daisies; a quilt stitched together with hauntingly terrible mistakes. And at the centre of it all is his best friend, Alex Claremont-Diaz; director of said comedy, threading together his oopsie-daisies into a flower crown, rolling around in the quilt of his own making, and this analogy is going to shit because Henry's so in love with him he wants to die.

idk I'll do a part two if anyone wants.

#rwrb #firstprince #red white and royal blue #fic rec #fic rec list #i try not to do multiple authors on the same list so #just assume if they're here i read all their stuff plus their bookmarks lmao #for the record I have 100% read the book I just didn't think there'd be fic for it lmao #rwrb rec list

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foone · 6 months

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Goldfinger is the most Bond movie, fight me.

Bond blows up a drug lab and then goes for vacation in Miami. He's told there's a gold smuggler there, so he stops him cheating at gin rummy by seducing his spy? Then Bond is talking shit about, of all hands, the Beatles, and then he's knocked out. When he comes to, oh no! The spy girl is dead. She was killed with BODYPAINT. No, not poisoned body paint or anything, the film just says that body paint itself can kill you.

So Bond goes back to London, and they send him to learn more by playing golf with Goldfinger, the smuggler. Goldfinger tries to cheat, Bond stops him, then Goldfinger's henchmen shows how strong he is by crushing golfballs.

So Bond goes to Switzerland and meets a girl who turns out to be the sister of the dead body painted spy girl, and she's trying to kill Goldfinger. She fails, dying to the henchman's DEADLY HAT, and Bond is strapped to a table about to get his dick lasered off. He lies that his organization knows something they don't, so Goldfinger decides not to kill him.

Bond gets flown to a stud farm in Kentucky by a pilot named Pussy Galore. Bond wakes up, hears her name, and goes "I must be dreaming"

At the stud farm, Goldfinger is telling a bunch of mafia guys his plan: he's gonna use knockout gas on the whole city where Fort Knox is, then run off with the gold reserves. The mafia guys say "this is stupid", one leaves (he gets put in a car that goes through a car crusher) and then Goldfinger gasses them all, to death.

Bond goes to Goldfinger and points out this is an impossible plan: they'll never get all the gold out in time, the army will just show up from some other town and stop them. Goldfinger goes "of course! That would be silly. I'm just gonna nuke the gold."

Yeah he's already got a lot of gold, which will be much more valuable if a huge portion of the world's gold gets blown up/irradiated. And that knockout gas? It's just deadly poison.

Anyway the plan is launched, and Pussy Galore's All Female Flying Circus sprays gas over the city and we see all the army guards falling over dead, and Goldfinger's minions place the bomb in the vault of Fort Knox... Then the army guys get back up! They're not dead!

Yeah it seems Bond seduced her and convinced her to tell the authorities about the plot and also swap the Deadly Poison for something harmless.

Bond gets locked in the vault with the nuke and deadly hat guy, as Goldfinger's minions fight the army, with Goldfinger dressing up as a US Army general to escape.

Bond manages to kill the hat guy by electrocuting him through the hat, and Bond rushes over to figure out how to stop the bomb, as the timer counts down. He's lost, but fortunately a specialist from the army comes in and just hits a switch, stopping the bomb at 007 seconds to go.

With the army in control of the situation, Bond gets on a plane with Pussy Galore to go meet the President (given when this film was made, that'd be Lyndon B. Johnson) but then Goldfinger pops up. He's hijacked the plane, and he's got a gun!

They fight for the gun, and a window ends up getting shot out, and Goldfinger (who is not a small man) gets sucked out the plane window.

Bond and Pussy parachute out, and decide to ditch THE PRESIDENT in order to have sex in the woods, even as a rescue helicopter flies over them.

Credits roll.

It's just endlessly silly and over the top and fun.

Two final notes:

1. The whole thing of stealing vs nuking the gold is a change from the book. In the book, he was just gonna steal the gold, but the movie changes it to the nuke plot, but puts the idea to steal it in the film as an "obviously silly idea that would never work", which is slightly hilarious to me

2. The film also drops the fact that Pussy Galore is supposed to be a lesbian. This is certainly for the best, given that Bond still seduces her into betraying her boss. It's still somewhat implied in the film, though.

#James Bond

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irrealisms · 11 months

Text

my dsmp fic recs masterpost

this one's long so i'm putting it under a cut! includes a lot of fandom favorites/ones you probably already know, but i tried to include some more niche ones as well. check the reblogs for more, i couldn't fit them all in one post without tumblr getting mad at me

Author recommendations (not my friends; go read everything they wrote):

Goldenrayofsunshine

shrugofgod

odaigahara

penink

hoorayy

Zannolin

the_g_m

chrysalizzm

Author recommendations (me and people I know):

sesquidpedalian @erstwhilesparrow

WheelCoveredInEyes @blocksgame

short_tandem_repeats

consumptive_sphinx @regicidal-optimism

monsterloot @aliveburs

cryptofhoney (korethekiller) @honeyblockm

nocturne_csharpm @qwilbur

75hearts (ME! YOU ARE HERE!)

Fangame recommendations:

Good Luck, Minutes Man! by @andhyssops : visual novel about NLM-era c!ranboo. has multiple endings, great art, soundtrack, characterization, etc.

Good Morning, Gogy by @andhyssops : visual novel about c!george. again, gorgeous art, great characterization. i almost don't want to say too much about this one because so much of it is a spoiler!

Doomsday Sim by @bwobgames : doomsday platformer, tommy is the player character, buggy but pretty.

Virtual Ghostbur by @bwobgames : ghostbur tamagotchi!

Character Pattern by @bwobgames : bullet hell with various mcyts (c and cc), tommy is the player character, stupid hard but very pretty

Tommygotchi by @bwobgames : tommy tamagotchi!

Silver Dollar by @honeyblockm : president schlatt is dead. murder mystery twine game

Fic recs (people I don't know well):

devil town by hoorayy : haven’t read this one but i’ve had it recommended too many times to not include. small town horror au. 100k

aftermath by sparxwrites : dream is recovering from the prison. tommy visits him. they have a conversation. neither torture apologist nor abuse apologist! 2k

what i love and what i've lost by Treis : dream & sapnap, dream recovery/redemption/post-prison. 20k

in memoriam by hoorayy : wilbur and sapnap have a conversation. 2k

little women by chrysalizzm : women on the dsmp character study. 1k

dissonance by shrugofgod : tubbo character study!!!!! one of the best tubbo fics imo. snowchester-era. 16k

six foot deep bottom line by shrugofgod : tubbo & q conversation, cookie outpost era. 2k

How to Sex Vol. 4-58 by Goldenrayofsunshine : epistolary fic, tommy pov, canon divergent from the disc finale (punz doesn’t arrive). probably my favorite fic in the fandom. 1k

Chicken Strategy by Goldenrayofsunshine : sam-centric, lots of q also, au where q set off the prison TNT. 20k

The Roman Archives by Goldenrayofsunshine : “Tubbo dies during the disc war finale and uses his time in purgatory to unlock all the secrets of the universe.” 4.5k

Make It Right by Goldenrayofsunshine : Captain Sparklez is tubbo’s dad, crashes the disc finale. my #1 clingyduo fluffy h/c Comfort Food. 2k

Raccooniverse (zombie crossover) series by Goldenrayofsunshine : crossover with the walking dead; doesn’t require any knowledge of the walking dead. tommy-centric, follows canon very approximately for the first two seasons and a bit beyond. 162k and still going, although you can just read the completed parts.

Neon Sunrise by Goldenrayofsunshine : wilbur & quackity, LN-era. 14k

draw up your sword (leave your days ashore) by Odaigahara : puffy joins the server by coming ashore at logstedshire, defends tommy. another comfort food fluffy h/c. 11k

snapshots by sparxwrites : schlatt/q relationship study. very good but mind the content warnings. 6k

the dead don’t dream by penink : what if dream killed tommy and then revived him again and then killed him and then revived him again— (crimeboys whump w a happy ending) 226k

Mafia AU by penink : mafia AU; based on Vibes rather than a specific time period but has Lots Content and Good Characterization. 219k and still going, although you can just read the completed parts.

Fairweather and Foxhole Friends by penink : manburg q & tubbo. 2k

Jubilee Line Satisfaction Survey by penink : wilbur centric, some crimeboys. wilbur in the afterlife! very very good. does fun things with the format--it's a uquiz, not an ao3 fic. another competitor for my favorite fanwork from this fandom.

call this world home by Sixteenthdays, stygiomedusa (grainjew) : another dream post-prison recovery/redemption; in this one, he’s metaphysically trapped in the arctic commune. 43k

l’esprit de l’escalier by eldritchIdeologist : revivebur oneshot. 3k

cause most of us are bitter over someone by honeyblock : niki & wilbur confrontation and reconciliation. (tommy’s there too.) 19k

orphan’s path (series) by aenor_llelo, Alderous, Anarchy-Schmanarchy (Murder_Schmurder), BattleBlaze, ConcoctionsFromHell, Falrisesi, fluxphage, izziel_galaxy, Otakuforlife19, Rocket999 : starts out as a phil&techno backstory. becomes a retelling of the entire server. massively multi-pov, very good characterization, very long. has many Takes i disagree with but also a lot of good stuff. get a text replacer “Lagos” -> “Dream”. 700K and still going, although you can just read the completed parts.

tune by small_lizard : karlnapity relationships study. 4k

applaud, my friends, the comedy is over! by small_lizard : oneshot focused on niki’s birthday party. <1k

it only gets much worse by hoorayy : another q & wilbur, LN-era. 2k

good reasons to freeze to death by hoorayy : tubbo-centric, post-s3 finale (mourning ranboo). 3k

pay it forward by comradeboyhalo : the l’sandburg fic. foolish centric; badlands post-egg healing arc in which they all move onto his house. very canon-typical tone; silly and crack-y but with genuine feeling. 5k

treatise on sin and vice by the_g_m : quackity and tommy and their relationship w religion (scriptfic). 7k

plate of primes by chrysalizzm : poem about tommy. <1k

hunger by Anonymous : probably the only E-rated fic i’m including. wilbur/quackity, LN-era, wilbur provokes quackity into hurting him by pretending to be dream, it’s . fic of all time. 11k

i'm not calling you a liar by Anonymous : jk i lied. also E-rated, wilbur/quackity, LN-era. by the same author as the previous rec, similarly dead dove. lives in my brain forever. 13k

the ckarl mpreg fic by the_g_m : karl doesn’t actually get pregnant in this one. they just want him to. karlnapity, script format, crack treated seriously. 2k

sink secluded by angeloncewas : niki and wilbur, pogtopia. <1k

best laid plans by zannolin : some gentle h/c for revivebur with ranboo and tommy. a bit of a comfort food but in a good way, at least for me. 5k

said the rabbit to the badger by zannolin : crimeboys talk about exile. inconsolable differences fixit. 3k

i can’t stand your taste in my mouth by orphan_account : a really intense but also very good pogtopia-era wilbur character/relationship study. 5k

where to find a silver lining (as the mercury keeps rising) by angelsdemonsducks : cwilbur eggpocalypse fic! 10k

the sea is rising by chrysalizzm : desolation avatar purpled. <1k but the series is longer

Blood Games by ghostdrinkssoda : q centric hurt-no-comfort that has some karlnapity but also engages with q as a bad person. 7k

where lies the strangling fruit by katsidhe : prison arc angst/whump. pretty heavy; mind the tags. sam & q & dream. 34k, unfinished

agatha by headlikeahole : wilbur's suicide note. collage/digital art. <1k

Tier X̅ by Pegasister60 : purpled's limbo is an empty bedwars map. 2k

one last lie for old times' sake by curseworm, VenetaPsi : wilbur tries to apologize to quackity before killing himself. quackity isn't having it. 18k

#fic rec #fic recs #dsmp #mcyt #might make another post of these for ones i don't really remember but nonetheless trust to be good #therapists dni #any british ants in the chat?#long post

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mischief-lies-and-stories · 5 months

Text

Loki spin-off ideas

I'm going to preface this by saying, I do not think we will ever get a Loki spin-off. But that doesn't mean I can't think about all the great possibilities there could be. And also I am quickly running out of ideas again.

Spoilers for Loki.

TVA workplace comedy, featuring B-15 Verity, Casey, OB, on occasion Sylvie and Mobius, and introducing new (queer) characters. Casey and OB stumble their way into a relationship, Verity once and for all establishes that she can detect lies, Mobius is sad until in the season finale (with special guest star Tom Hiddleston!) someone figures out how to get him to Loki. And we get Lokius in the last ten seconds, because they pull a Will Shatner and purposely ruin every other take that isn't them making the fuck out.

TVA training shorts, featuring Miss Minutes (ugh), reminiscent of those high school PSAs they made Cap do ("So you got detention," etc.), but animated in the style of the introductory video Loki watched in the first episode. You could also have a second season of them as an updated version following the dissolution of the Sacred Timeline and how the branches are seen as good things now. Maybe the new ones are narrated by members of the Time Revengers, since Miss Minutes is still being rehabilitated. (I'm still deciding if the idea of listening to Mobius tell the story of how the multiversal tree was created would be heartbreaking even if he managed to remain professional and not break down in tears, or if it would be really sweet that he gets assigned that video.)

Lokis in the void, following mainly Kid Loki and (if we retcon it, set this before the show, or he somehow survived) Classic Loki, but also ridiculous schemes of President Loki (yuck, no thank you) that constantly get thwarted. The B-plot is Alligator Loki sneaking off and getting up to some shit in an anti-Perry the Platypus running gag. (Wait, maybe I just want a Phineas and Ferb parody where every character is a Loki and it takes place in the void. That could be so stupid it's hilarious.)

Classic Loki in Valhalla please I need it. Like we start similarly to the events of my fic After, where Classic Loki arrives in Valhalla and reunites at long last with Thor (don't ask me how, I know technically his timeline was reset). Then the show continues with Classic Loki and Thor getting up to hijinks in Valhalla, maybe scheming to break out of Valhalla (a storyline for Loki in various contexts I've played around with a few times). We could have different characters from the Thor movies and comics in Valhalla, but since they're all dead, they're all played by older actors. You could make some easy, low-hanging old jokes (back pain every time they use their weapon, etc.), but they're gods and they're dead, so technically they should be fine. They're just old and dead. (But like, Tony Stark is for sure in Valhalla, too. You could have some frostiron going on. Or Fandral. He's there, too, Ewing.)

Mobius's adventures in the multiverse, just episodes of him traveling through time and experiencing it (I'm realizing now that this is basically just the premise for Doctor Who...). Also going on in this series is obviously Mobius missing Loki and looking for a way to get to him. Of course (because this is my show and I say so), the series would end with them reuniting and confessing and staying together, either in the tree if need be or in the wider multiverse if Loki is able to leave the tree. And there would certainly be episodes throughout the show featuring the other members of our Time Revengers. Maybe the workplace comedy and this show are occurring simultaneously. (Like one episode of TVA someone's like "Where's Verity?" "Oh she's on a mission." And you're like oh the actor has a break or is filming something else, and then later that week the episode of Mobius airs and THERE'S VERITY!)

Sylvie in Broxton. That's it, that's the show. Just Sylvie living her best life in the small town, working at McDonald's, hanging out at Lyle's record store, ignoring 90% of the calls on her TemPad (unless it's Mobius, because in spite of herself, she's a little worried about him).

#loki #loki tv show #loki theories #sylvie laufeydottir #mobius m mobius #lokius #loki spinoff ideas #loki season 2 spoilers #loki tv show spoilers

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saintship · 1 year

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Omg ur story liability is amazing!! i'm so sad more people don't write Graves as a sweet southern gentleman (who cares if he's a traitor 😭🙏) so I would love to see a part 2 just to read more of your great characterization of him!! 💕

Thank you so much! Also so fucking true

Yes he betrayed everyone yes he would refuse to let you open your own car door 🫢🫢

I’m also thinking of doing like a small town oneshot once my requests are cleared out 🤭🤭

White flags waving

Graves x fem!reader pt. 2/2

Read pt. 1

Warnings: maybe ooc graves, harassment, healthy communication, graves is sweet, mature content but no secs

Going abruptly from living from shadow to shadow by the skin of their teeth to an upscale event that recognized their branch of military was something no one on the task force was prepared for. Being a private company, it wasn’t as though there was any media or presidents to stick badges on their chest, but Price was told it was an effort to familiarize with other special ops units they could be seeing in the field.

Weeks before the scheduled banquet, half the team was already complaining. Mornings in the common area of their current safehouse were more bicker-ey than usual.

The sun cast beams of light into the living room and across the island counter, where Ghost stood preparing the coffee machine.

“This is ridiculous. They want us to reveal ourselves to whoever these people are voluntarily?”

“They’re like us, Ghost. It’s an event for private companies.”

“You have to admit it’s a perfect plan for an ambush, Gaz.” Spider scored the peel of an orange with a short knife, pushing at the edges.

“Why’s it gotta be like that?” Soap interjected. “Can we not pretend to be normal members of society for one night?”

“You sound like my friends from high school.” Spider threw away the peel, starting on the slices that she’d separated.

“It’s seven in the mornin’ and you’re arguing?” Graves emerged from the hall, eyes bleary with sleep. Spider’s breath nearly hitched at the sight of his uneven bed head, and she ducked her head to focus on her fruit.

“Well, what do you think? Trap or no trap?” Soap questioned.

“No trap. Price ain’t stupid.”

Seemingly beckoned by his name, the captain eased the front door open to return inside. Spider spotted him toss out the end of his cigar.

“Did you—go outside to smoke? Do you finally care about our lungs?” She placed a hand to her chest, her tone flared with drama.

“Needed a break from you lot.” He grumbled, taking a mug offered by Ghost with a nod.

“Where’s Ale?” Spider wondered aloud.

“Shower. That damn music was driving me crazy; s’why I came down here.”

“Ella Fitzgerald is a master of sound!”

Alejandro’s exclamation sounded from down the hall.

“I guess he’s done.” Gaz murmured.

“You don’t like Ella Fitzgerald?” Spider looked at Graves as if he’d socked Price in the jaw. “Do you have brain damage?”

“It would be fine if it wasn’t so loud!”

“Are you a librarian by night or something?” Ghost teased.

“That’s messed up. If you have a secret identity you need to tell me.” Spider finished off her orange, walking over to the hall, but was thrown off by Graves using the hand the others couldn’t see to take her hand for less than a moment before letting it slip past. The others continuing to bicker, she glanced back to see him already watching her, letting the moment linger before returning his eyes to the group with a smile playing in his eyes.

Spider blinked, scolding her rapid heartbeat. She had things to do.

The afternoon’s busy work was mostly inefficient as the team mainly gossiped about the night ahead of them. Everyone was on edge, or planning to drink themselves asleep, or planning to not say a word.

“How are a bunch of special ops agents supposed to small talk? It’s going to be awkward.” Gaz leaned back in his computer chair, looking over at Spider desperately.

“Just create a new identity; that’s what I do at parties.” Spider murmured while still writing something down.

“You’re a piece a’ work, webs.” Graves seemed to be almost talking to himself, grumbling into the folder he held in front of him.

“How has the world not taken the southern out of you yet?” Spider pointed to Graves with her pen. Graves remained stoic, but his eyes shined with amusement.

“That would take a miracle, honey.”

“Alright..” Spider tossed a discarded crumpled file at his head, which he promptly caught, grinning.

Price took it upon himself to go into the nearest town to gather nicer clothes than the ones they’d been recycling for the past months. Spider insisted on going with him, lecturing the man in the car that you most certainly could not tell how a dress fits just by looking at it.

They split up in the mall, Price giving her half of the cash he brought and wandering off to gather tuxes for the boys. Spider found a suitable store, and then a few different dresses. When the first one was zipped, a thought of sending a picture of the dress to Graves floated through her mind. Looking at the dress again; a deep blue high neck with the cutoff just at the knee and a healthy showing of back, she decided to get some photos of each before sending anything.

The next dress was more conforming, a comfortable black fabric that ended at her mid-thigh and thin straps. Then a red flowing piece with lace sleeves running the length of her arms and two shallow slits on either thigh. She photographed them all, hovering over the send button to graves after typing the caption “can’t decide!”

Exhaling quickly, she sent it, quickly tossing her phone on the pile of her clothes and silently panicking. What if his phone was facing up and someone saw? What if they told Price? Shit, shit-

Her phone pinged softly. Spider rushed to see his name light up her phone.

“I’m not a fashion expert, but the blue is nice. Classy.”

Nice. Nice, nice, nice..was that good? Spider’s thumbs hovered over the keyboard before typing.

“I’ll take what i can get

thanks cowboy”

She nearly deleted the ‘cowboy’, but couldn’t resist.

A text from Price telling her to hurry up prompted her to return the black and red dresses to their homes and buy the blue, along with short heels and a few makeup products, then walk back out to the car feeling lighter than air.

Spider made sure to beeline for the bathroom as soon as she returned, nervous for Graves’ reaction to her following his advice. She showered, taking the opportunity to shave her legs and use a scented body wash. It had been a while since she’d showered outside of necessity.

She blowdried and combed her hair, throwing it into a low ponytail to get the dress on with no hair in her eyes. The dress felt different than it did in the dressing room, as expected, but still looked professionally sexy in her mind. After a bout of eye and lip makeup, she put her hair up in a more deliberate updo, pulling a few strands to frame her face. She pulled on the heels, the height low enough to not put her in pain and high enough to add an inch or two of personal confidence. Breathing deeply, she dared to ease the bathroom door open. No one in the hall. She nearly ran to the bedroom she’d slept in to retrieve her clutch, grateful to carry around a semi-classy wallet casually.

She finally made her way out to the living room, a whistle catching her attention. Soap stood adjusting his bow tie, grinning at her blank stare.

“Shut up, Johnny.”

“Dinnae say anything!”

“Mhm.” A smile made its way onto her lips, easing the anxiety rattling around in her ribcage. Ghost and Gaz sat on the couch talking, Gaz in a black dress shirt and grey tie and ghost in a wine-red dress shirt with a dark blazer. The others trickled in slowly, Alejandro performing a short spin that prompted much hollering and whistling.

Finally, Graves emerged from the hall, adorning a crisp white dress shirt, black blazer, and-

“Your tie is blue.” Spider blurted. Not interrupting anyone’s conversation, but catching Graves’ attention.

“Well thank the man upstairs. Didn’t know if you’d go through with it.” He smiled easily, making his way over to her.

“Well, you have good taste.” Spider conceded.

A comfortable pause lingered between them before Graves spoke.

“You look beautiful.”

Spider pushed down the fluttering in her abdomen.

“Thank you. You look very nice, with your suit and..” Spider trailed off when she realized what she was about to say, Graves tilting his head.

“And what, darling?”

Jesus. “And—when you..smile. You-you look nice when you smile.” She managed. His poise seemed to falter a bit, as he fixed his cuff links and shifted his weight.

“Well—thank you.” He murmured. Spider smiled.

“Don’t mention it.”

Please mention it.

“Alright, you lot, time to go!” Price clapped his hands together, everyone filing out and into the car.

The city rolled past, Spider gazing out the window at the skyscrapers and neon signs. The tinted windows hid the true brightness of it all; proven when they stepped out and the dazzling signs all around them became apparent. The venue was on the fourth floor of the building, Price leading everyone to the elevator. It turned out to be much too small to fit all of them at once, and Spider spoke without thinking.

“We can get the one after this.”

Graves, stood next to her, looked over in surprise but didn’t object.

“Meet you there.” Price nodded. As the doors closed, Spider heard Gaz whispering to Soap,

“Are they matching?”

A hush fell over the two soldiers.

“Feels weird. Being out in the open again.” Spider confessed. Graves nodded, sighing in thought.

“You play civilian well enough, though.” He offered.

“Thanks—I think.” Spider returned.

“Listen, I think we should- talk about what happened. At least talk about it.” Graves spoke ever so softly, glancing around him, but Spider’s eyes still widened.

“Not here. Anywhere but here..” She murmured. The doors opened, Spider pulling Graves in unceremoniously. When the doors closed, she spoke again.

“I meant what I said in the med wing. And I like you.”

Graves rocked on his heels. “Straight to the point.”

“I pride myself on it.”

Another silence.

“This won’t work.”

Graves looked over, blinking. “What are you talkin’ about?”

“Our jobs, Graves. It doesn’t work.”

“Who said we gotta parade it around? For all they know, we’re close friends.”

It was true in a way—everyone knew Spider and Graves had become a sort of dynamic since that close call at the warehouse. It was chalked up within the team to be a scare that brought the two together, and if anyone had suspicions of their attraction, they didn’t voice them.

“The rest of the team isn’t what’s dangerous. It’s everyone we’ve ever crossed, and everyone we’ll ever piss off. And I try to hide it, I really fucking do, Graves..” Spider gestured to herself stiffly, her voice wavering. “But they’ll know. They’ll know and- and they’ll use it.”

Graves let a deep breath go through his nose, searching her eyes with his for a moment. He stepped forward, hand just extending to rest by her jaw, when the doors opened, and Spider quickly maneuvered his hand to his side to link his arm with hers and step forward.

“Nice save.” Graves murmured.

The banquet was all gold and high ceilings, rows of food and alcohol running the edges of the room while tables dotted the centre. Swarms of people stood in groups, nursing their drinks and seeming to be unable to relax their shoulders. They found the rest of the team at a table, still keeping to themselves.

“Are the other kids too scary?” Spider chided.

“Very funny.” Ghost muttered.

“Well, personally, I’d love to meet some fresh faces. I’ll be at the bar.” Spider gently removed her arm from Graves’, looking over her shoulder to see him lean forward on the back of Soap’s chair. He’d pushed up his sleeves so his forearms and watch were on display—she shook herself out of the observation.

“Could I get a Negroni, please?” Spider situated herself into a barstool, swiveling back and forth absentmindedly as she studied the people around her. She was surprised to see quite a few attempts of advancements between soldiers—she assumed no one had the nerve. It was just flirting, she conceded.

“One Negroni.” The bartender slid the amber drink over the counter. “Wanna start a tab?”

“Yes, pl-"

“Put it on mine.”

A voice over her shoulder nearly had her flinch—she turned to see a tux-clad man, handsome, but somehow Spider could tell he was arrogant. He had an air to him that said he assumed the best outcome for him would happen naturally.

“How you doin’?” He greeted her, but didn’t meet her eyes, pulling a carton of cigarettes his blazer pocket.

“I’m alright.” Spider sipped her drink as he lit one and took a drag, shifting her weight uncomfortably.

“You with anyone tonight?” He rested on an elbow, leaning into her space.

“Task force 141.” Spider replied shortly.

“Right.. any one of them gotten a piece a’ you?”

Spider didn’t reply.

He grinned with the teeth of a chainsmoker, scoffing.

“What, you never been hit on before? Give me a shot, honey.”

“Are you serious?” Spider’s slight raise in volume made the man finally back up, raising his cigarette to his lips again. “Either find a better pickup artist to model after or never talk to a woman again, alright?”

Suddenly, he grabbed her forearm, yanking it forward to blow the tobacco smoke into her eyes.

“Get off!” She twisted out of his grip, coughing.

“There a problem here, buddy?”

Spider glanced up after sliding out of her stool, seeing Graves appear from the crowd. He stepped forward to size up the man, who got out of his own stool to face him. He lifted the cigarette again, only for Graves to snatch and toss it.

“Yeah, that’s enough of that. I hope you’re listening cause’ I don’t repeat myself. You ever talk to her, or anyone for that matter, like that again, I’m gonna show you the difference—between military..and me.”

Despite Spider’s attraction to Graves’ assertiveness in the moment, the embarrassment won, driving her to speed walk to the bathroom. She felt his footsteps follow her, and he closer the door behind them. Spider faced away, her face in her hands.

“Did he hurt you? Let me-"

“No—no, I’m not hurt, Graves.” Spider’s cheeks burned with shame. She was not helpless. She was not helpless.

“Come on, now, what’s goin’ on?” Graves’ hands were partially extended out to her, and Spider vaguely noticed he’d loosened his tie.

“I just,” Spider sighed deeply, resting her hip against one of the sinks. Graves mirrored her, close but not touching.

“That kind of thing happened to me before I was in the military, and I thought—I don’t know..” Spider looked away, frustrated. “I thought it would be different because I’m different. I’m stronger, smarter.”

Graves nodded, looking to her with those bedroom eyes that nearly erased her rant from her mind.

“And then the fact you helped me, I was so angry at myself for not being able to just handle it; I’m a grown woman.”

Graves moved to stand in front of her, cautiously taking her hand and running a thumb along it when Spider let him.

“I knew you could handle it. You always handle it.” He murmured. “I did what I did out of instinct. I can’t let people like that get away with that shit, but more than than I can’t just watch when it happens to you.”

Spider shook ever head ever so slightly. “How are you this way with me and then when you’re working you just—you just seem so angry?”

Graves inhaled and blinked as if he’d been wounded. “I uh.. I’m not sure. Maybe you poisoned me.” He said it with faux seriousness, raising his eyebrows and pressing his lips into a line.

Spider hummed. “Figured you’d find out somehow.”

A smile pulled at Graves’ features. “I’m glad you bought the blue.” He took the side of her waist in one hand, pulling her into him, while the other traveled up her spine to rest near her neck. The action send pinpricks of electricity all over, and she didn’t care that it was childish.

Suddenly, Spider’s brow furrowed. “Hey, how did Price know to get you the blue?”

Graves looked away for a moment. “When you sent me those photos I uh, I asked him to.”

Spider grinned.

“Shut up.” He grumbled.

“Shut me up yourself.” Spider looped her arms over his shoulders, running her nails through the hair at the back of his head. His eyes fluttered closed when she scratched at his scalp before regaining himself.

“Jesus, baby..” he breathed.

“Kiss me. Please.” Spider returned his words with the same whisper.

“Happy to.”

He leaned down, moving the hand on her waist to hold her jaw and run the pad of his thumb over her cheek. Spider leaned eagerly into him, a soft noise escaping her throat involuntarily.

“I’ve wanted,” she spoke between kisses. “To do this—a long time before the med wing..”

Graves pressed one last long kiss to her lips before pausing. “That right?”

His voice was a low gravel, warming Spider’s body in places she wouldn’t admit.

“I’d watch you work. Drove me crazy.” Spider admitted, earning a grin.

“How cruel of me. And I consider myself polite..” his hands wandered, palming her chest gingerly, exploring the soft flesh of her thighs, hiking the blue fabric higher. Spider took the action as a sign to move her hands down further. She felt his toned stomach through the soft dress shirt, pulling him in to kiss him while she ran her hands up his sides. He sighed into her mouth, and when her nails returned to his scalp with more fire than before, a low groan practically reverberated down her throat. Graves pressed her into the sink gently, deepening the kiss with the hunger shared only between glances before tonight.

Spider broke away to take in his eyes, pupils blown wide, along with his mussed, pale grey hair.

“You’re so gorgeous..”

Graves huffed a laugh. “What?”

“You heard me.” She reached further still, daring to brush her hand along the inside of his thigh. “You make me crazy.”

“Fuck, honey..” he breathed erratically, his hips jerking forward at the sensation. “You tryna’ kill me?”

“I’m a medic, Graves.” Spider breathed. “I make you feel better.”

fin.

#philip graves #philip graves x you #cod mwii #call of duty modern warfare #philip graves x reader #cod requests #request #graves call of duty #graves mw2 #graves cod #call of duty mw2 #call of duty 2022

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persondoingstuff · 6 months

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Alright first of all I’m a firm believer that Dally cares about the gang a lot more than he lets on, especially Johnny and Ponyboy.

"Get that sweat shirt off." He threw a towel at me. "Dry off and wait here. At least Johnny's got his jeans jacket. You ought to know better than to run away in just a sweat shirt, and a wet one at that. Don't you ever use your head?" He sounded so much like Darry that I stared at him.

He didn't notice, and left us sitting on the bed.

The fact that Dallas didn’t notice how brotherly he was being just proves that he cares about Pony

… and it was Two-Bit who did that. And Dally knew it. But he just took the sentence without battin’ an eye or even denyin’ it.

Dallas would rather he go to jail then someone in the gang. Dally would rather add to his record (not that he minded that, I think he was rather happy to add to it) then Two-Bit get a record or add to it.

“The president of course, stupid Its from Soda.”

Dally joking with Pony is my favorite thing

“…Kid, you ought to see Darry. He's takin' this mighty hard…”

This quote melts my heart in a way I cannot describe

"You sure can cuss good, Dally."

"Sure can," Dally agreed wholeheartedly, proud of his vocabulary. "But don't you kids get to pickin' up my bad habits.”

He gave me a hard rub on the head. "Kid, I swear it don't look like you with your hair all out off. It used to look tuff: You and Soda had the coolest-lookin' hair in town."

"I know," I said sourly. "I look lousy, but don't rub it in."

Dallas (as bad of an example as he is) wants to make sure Johnny and Ponyboy don’t end up like him, he’s just looking out for them.

Also Dally giving a compliment?! But also Dally teasing Pony and giving him shit in a friendly way :)

“…Take it easy, I don’t want you gettin’ sick on me…”

When they were at Dairy Queen and Johnny and Ponyboy were eating so fast that Dally go my worried they would throw up (what a good big brother)

When the church was burning Dally yelled at Johnny and Pony to forget about the kids and get out of there. He was so worried about his family the gang

Dally's eyes were closed, but when I spoke he had tried to grin and had told me that if I ever did a stupid thing like that again he'd beat the tar out of me.

If he’s smiling he’s not that mad (there’s his soft spot for Pony showing)

I am fully convinced that the leather jacket Dally gave Ponyboy became his favorite jacket, especially after he died. Anytime it got a bit chilly outside Pony would put it on and remember how his buddy saved him

Dally was grinning at me. "Kid, you scared the devil outa me the other day. I thought I'd killed you"

"Me?" I said, puzzled. "Why?"

"When you jumped out of the church. I meant to hit you just hard enough to knock you down and put out the fire, but when you dropped like a ton of lead I thought Id aimed too high and broke your neck." He thought for a minute. "I'm glad I didn't, though."

Dally’s happy that he didn’t kill Pony (his second favorite member of the gang)

Second thing, Two-Bit is also a big brother figure to Ponyboy and Johnny and best friends with everyone. Also a little bit of Steve caring for Ponyboy

“The boys are worried," Dally said in a materie voice. "Two-Bit was going to Texas to hunt for you”

Two-Bit was so worried about them that he would drop everything and go looking for Pony and Johnny (he cares so much about Pony, they’re best friends)

"Hey, Ponyboy," he cried gleefully, "long time no see.” You would have thought it had been five years instead of five days since I'd seen him last, but I didn't mind.

He was so excited to be reunited with his best friend :)

Two-Bit said, cleaning the egg up off the floor.

Two-Bit, who was scraping the egg off the clock, turned to stare at me.

What a nice friend, cleaning up after he made Pony drop the eggs.

Head cannon: Darry made a rule in the house that if you make a mess in the house you have to clean it up and is extra strict with it on Two-Bit (Darry was not about to let Two-Bit make his house messy)

No wonder he stayed overnight at Two-Bits or at our house.

Two-Bit offered his house to Johnny (big brother behavior) one time when it was cold outside, Johnny insisted he would be fine sleeping in the lot, but Two-Bit dragged Johnny to his house for the night. Johnny’s been using it as a place to sleep from then on

Two-Bit was looking down at me worriedly. “You feel okay? You're awful hot."

"All right," Two-Bit said reluctantly. "But Darryll kill me if you're really sick and go ahead and fight anyway"

Big brother Two-Bit who’s concerned about Ponyboy

It did, but it also got Two-Bit and Soda, jailed once. They were doing midair flips down a downtown sidewalk, walking on their hands, and otherwise disturbing the public and the police.

Bestie Soda and Two-Bit doing gymnastics down the street together. Also friends who get jailed together stay together

Two-Bit came blubberin' over here with some tale how you were running a fever before the rumble and how it was all his fault you were sick. He was pretty torn up that night,"

Big brother Two-Bit who was guilty over the fact that Pony got sick after the rumble

"Was it very bad?" Two-Bit questioned. He knew the whole story, and having never dreamed about anything but blondes, he was interested.

Bestie Two-Bit who knows all the tea

“I’ll baby-sit him," Two-Bit said, ducking as I took a swing at him.

‘Having nothing better to do’ or an excuse to spend the day with your best bud, what’s the difference

"Steve and me were backing you, but I guess we didn't need to. You'd have really cut them up, huh?"

Steve and Two-Bit were ready to throw hands all cause Pony looked like he was in danger (Steve really does care about his best buddy’s kid brother)

“How do you like bein' a hero, big shot?"

Steve teasing Ponyboy :)

Also in the beginning of the book right after Ponyboy gets jumped and Steve asks what he was doing walking on his lonesome, Ponyboy takes that as “oh this guy is just getting on my back” but I take it as Steve showing his worry in a non-traditional way.

Johnny is so madly in love with Pony it’s crazy

"you must have put my legs to sleep. I can't even stand up. I barely got off that train."

"I'm sorry. Why didn't you wake me up?"

“That okay. I didn’t want to wake you up until I had to.”

Johnny would rather his legs fall asleep than Pony be tired (he’s such a caring boyfriend)

I push off Johnny’s jean jacket,

Ponyboy said that the church was cold, so it must be cold outside, and Johnny would rather himself be cold than Pony

I put my arm across his shoulders to warm him up.

Just to warm him up, mhmm definitely

I held him like Soda had held him the day we found him lying in the lot.

First of all, Ponyboy looks up to Soda so much (I’ll get into that in the next section) but also comforting Johnny in a way he knows will calm him down

“It ain't fair for Ponyboy to about have to stay up in that church with Darry and Soda worryin' about him all the time.”

Johnny doesn’t want his bf’s family to worry :(

…He wants to see you”

Dally says this to Ponyboy while they’re driving to the hospital and it’s so heartbreaking that the last people Johnny wants to see are the two people he cherishes most

Also in Johnny’s letter that he left in home with the wind he mentions Dallas three times, he wanted his final requested to come from Pony probably because Johnny knew that out of everyone Dally would listen to Ponyboy the best

Lastly, Pony loves this brothers and admires Soda so much

I wonder what Darry and Sodapop are doing now, I thought, yawning. Soda had the whole bed to himself for once. I bet Darry's sorry he ever hit me.

After waking up in the church, his first thoughts are his brothers. Also Ponyboy knows that Darry is sorry and that just makes me feel bad for Darry

it was my pride. It was long and silky, just like Soda's, only a little redder.

Comparing himself to Soda part 1

My hair was even He always lighter than Sodapop's.

Comparing himself to Soda part 2

"Oh, Pony, I thought we'd lost you ... like we did Mom and Dad.. "

Darry just wanted the best for Pony. Dary was so scared of losing Pony, that's why he yelled, he wasn't angry, he was just scared. Darry's biggest fear is losing another peron, so he must have worried so much about Pony :(

Darry was rubbing the back of my head softly.

Soft bro Darry moment (I live for this)

I wiggled out from under his arm and pulled the blanket up over him,

Headcannon: Soda missed sharing a bed with Ponyboy and got used to throwing an arm over him. Also Pony is such a thoughtful brother

He grinned one of his rare grins.

DARRY SMILING AT PONYBOY

"Listen, Soda, you and Ponyboy," Darry said as we strode down the street, "if the fuzz show, you two beat it out of there. The rest of us can only get jailed. You two can get sent to a boys' home."

Protective Darry (I live for this too)

He’s going somewhere. And I was going to be like him.

Ponyboy looking up to Darry is so sweet cause as much as Ponyboy has said that he does really like his oldest brother, he truely does because you don’t look up to people you genuinely don’t like

I could tell Darry realized this too, and although he was proud, I also knew he was worried. Shoot, I thought, I'll fight so good this time he won't ever worry about me again. I'll show him that someone besides Sodapop can use his head.

Pony wanting to prove himself to Darry. Also Darry being proud of Ponyboy :)

"You kept asking for me and Soda. Sometimes for Mom and Dad, too. But mostly for Soda." Something in his tone of voice made me look at him. Mostly for Soda. Did I ask for Darry at all, or was he just saying that?

Ponyboy being worried that he hurt Darry’s feeling by not calling out for him melts and breaks my heart because this is a point where Pony and Darry’s relationship is on the path to getting fixed and Ponyboy is worried that he only called for Soda. And by only calling for Soda might show Darry that Pony still doesn’t like Darry all that much, but by calling out to Darry, it shows Pony loves his brother (idk if this made sense (I’m slightly delirious writing this))

"Yeah, sure," he said, looking at me strangely. "You asked for him and me both. Sometimes Mom and Dad. And for Johnny."

"Oh. I thought maybe I didn't ask for Darry. It was bugging me.”

Poor boy just needed that confirmation from another person that he actually did call out for Darry :( also calling out for his best friend (boyfriend)

“…Darry is a good guardian; he makes me study and knows knows where I am and who I'm with all the time. I mean, we don't get along so great sometimes, but he keeps me out ust de touble, or did…”

PONY KNOWS DARRY CARES AND WANTS THE BEST FOR HIM

"Maybe you can be a little neater, huh, little buddy?" He'd never called me that before. Soda was the only one he ever called "little buddy."

"Sure," I said, "I'll be more careful."

PROGRESS PEOPLE PROGRESS (also Darry showing his affection to Pony in his own way)

"Race you," I challenged, leaping up.

I guess I was still out of shape, because we all three tied. No. I guess we all just wanted to stay together.

This brotherly moment makes me smile everyone I look at it

This book makes me very happy, hope you enjoyed and have a good rest of your day

#the outsiders ponyboy #the outsiders dally #the outsiders darry #the outsiders sodapop #the outsiders johnny #the outsiders two bit #the outsiders steve #the outsiders #the outsiders book #book quotes #they all love each other #brotherly moments

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juancarlos-ortiz · 3 months

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Marked for Carnage - Chapter 1 (Juice Ortiz x OC Fic)

Marked for Carnage Masterlist

A/N: This is chapter 1 of my Juice Ortiz x OC multi chapter fanfic. I am hoping to mesh this story line with all 7 seasons of SOA. This is an 18+ fic so if you are under 18 please do not interact or read. The themes may not hit 18+ for a few chapters but I intend them to as the story progresses. I apologize that there isn't much Juice x OC in this chapter, I was really wanting to set a foundation for my OC and how she is tied into this world. My asks are open if anyone has any questions about my OC. Also I aplogise if there are any errors, I have a toddler and a baby so I'm doing this on the fly. I hope you enjoy :)

Word Count: 2390 words

If there was one thing that Veronica Winston wished for it was that she had taken the job offer from Mercy General rather than St Thomas. Sacramento was close enough to Charming without being too close, but - being the push over that she was - she had let her father talk her into moving home. "Nothing's more important than family," he had stated, using her brother's recent release from prison to really drive the point home. Now here she was, stalking the hallways of St Thomas Hospital, the scent of antiseptic flooding her nose, as she followed the directions given to her by the admin staff to the nearest elevator. She had just about ran from the desk when the lady behind it asked if she was related to "those Winston's."

She pulled her long, dark hair out from the ponytail she'd put it in, hoping it would provide some kind of barrier between her and anyone who may recognize her. It had been nearly 10 years since she had last stepped foot in Charming. Her stomach had been lead weight since she had driven past the welcome sign at the edge of town. She jabbed the elevator button as she stopped in front of the closed doors, tapping her foot impatiently. She quickly scanned the area behind her, regretting the action as soon as her eyes met his. Jax Teller. Quickly she looked away and hoped that he hadn’t seen her.

"Ronnie?" She sighed when he called her name. Shoving her phone into the pocket of her scrubs she turned and smiled at him. "Hey Jax," she sent a silent prayer to the elevator gods that the stupid thing would hurry up and arrive. "Jesus, how long has it been?" he asked, pulling her into a quick one armed hug. "Nearly 10 years," she shrugged, kicking the toe of her shoe on the linoleum. "Yeah I guess so… your Pops didn’t say anything about you being back in town?" he asked, adjusting his cut. Her eyes found the Vice President patch sewn there. She raised her eyebrows. "I ah… asked him not to tell anyone. Ope too." Jax cocked an eyebrow and angled his head in question. "Alright…" he murmured. "I'll keep this under wraps then." Ronnie smiled appreciatively.

"You visiting someone?" she asked. His face dropped and suddenly she regretted asking him. "My kid is up in the NICU. He had surgery last night." Ronnie sighed and shook her head. "Shit Jax, I hope everything's ok." He shrugged and glanced down the hallway. "He's looking ok. Strong little guy. Shit with Wendy ya know…" he shrugged. "Damn, she still not got her shit together?" she asked. Jax shook his head. "Well he is a Teller. I'm sure he will pull through." Jax grinned proudly and nodded. "Well, you should come by Gemma's place sometime. She's still in the same house. I'm sure she would love to see you," Jax began to make his way down the hallway, throwing a wave behind him as he left. "Yeah, sure," Ronnie mumbled half heartedly. The elevator doors finally opened and Ronnie got in, pressing the button for the bottom floor. She found the doors she was looking for, the sign above indicating that she had reached the morgue. Of course, it would be strange to admit that she felt at home in a morgue. Which is why she never said it out loud. But it was true. Pulling her hair back into it's ponytail she walked through the doors, ready for a fresh start.

10 hours later Ronnie stood in the parking lot, stretching her back as the balmy early evening air settled around her. It appeared that being an assistant medical examiner in Charming wasn't going to be as fast paced as her previous location. She had spent part of her morning reviewing the one case they currently had open - a hit and run that had happened in the Charming jurisdiction although only by literal centimetres - and then the rest of her time she archived historical paperwork and counted down the minutes until her scheduled breaks. Ronnie groaned at the pain in her back, cursing herself for sitting with shitty posture for her whole shift, when suddenly someone cleared their throat. She turned and spotted the row of Harley's parked against the curb.

A guy around her age, with golden brown skin and a mohawk with two tattoos inked either side of it, sat on the bike at the very end. He was sporting one of the most gorgeous smiles she had ever seen and he was directing it at her. Ronnie's stomach buzzed, but she told it to pipe down when she spotted the cut she was wearing - one with a patch identical to her brother and fathers. She looked around in case he was looking at someone else, but they were the only two souls in the lot. "Nice ink," he said, jutting his chin in her direction. She looked down at her right arm, as if noticing the various designs tattooed there for the first time. Feeling her face warming, she met his stare. "Thanks, you too," she murmured, before walking to her car and hastily getting behind the wheel. Putting the key in the ignition she started it up, cursing and looking back at the man on the bike in her mirror as the engine coughed and sputtered before starting up. Pulling out of the lot, Ronnie began her journey home.

Juice smirked as he watched the black Toyota SUV pull out of the hospital parking lot. He had never seen the woman who had driven it away before, but the fullness of her hips and the soft curving of her waist had him wanting to see more of her. Juice would admit that it didn't take much to rev his engine but the way she had raised her eyebrow at him in indifference, how her tattoos covered the soft looking skin of her arm and the groan she let out as she stretched her back… almost had him adjusting himself in his pants. "Hey idiot," Tig smacked him up the back of the head. "What's got you so goddam happy?" Juice only grinned and shook his head. "Just thinkin' about Sack and that deer." Tig laughed and pointed straight at him. "Bet you're glad you're not the bottom of the food chain no more, huh?" Juice nodded as he watched the rest of his brothers exit the hospital, strapping his helmet on and starting up his dyna.

Ronnie sat on the small sofa in her loungeroom, an open beer on the coffee table and a microwaved dinner on her lap. She aimlessly flicked through channels, stopping briefly on the local news channel when she saw the headlines "San Leandro Warehouse Fire, Multiple Deaths." "Jesus Christ," she mumbled, taking a sip of beer. Suddenly, her phone ringing pulled her attention from the tv. Flicking it open, she saw her father's landline number and answered. "Hey Pop," she smiled. "Hey sweetheart," her father's rough timber came through the receiver. "How was your first day?" Ronnie smiled. She had missed this. Her father only really called once every couple of months when she had been gone from Charming, and she was certainly guilty of avoiding calling him. But since being back he seemed to really be interested in what was happening in her life.

"It was good dad, same shit different state really." Piney laughed. "Well that's good to hear, Ron, good to hear." She rolled her eyes at the nickname. "Listen, I was going to head over to Opie and Donna's place for dinner. Why don’t you come too? See the kids and say hello," Piney trailed off, leaving the buzz of the phone line ringing in Ronnie's ears. "I don’t know dad, I mean… I've already had dinner and," she paused, blowing out a sigh. "I don’t think Ope would want me there." Her father grunted on the other end, no doubt rolling his eyes identically to the way she had moments beforehand. "He's your brother. Of course he wants you there," he said. Ronnie closed her eyes. "Alright, I'll come see them. Do you need a ride?"

Ronnie pulled up out the front of her brothers house, parking her car next to Piney's trike. She made her way up the path to the front door, wringing her hands together in anxiety. She tersely rapped her knuckles against the door, her stomach in knots. Donna pulled the door open, her eyes widening at the site of her sister-in-law. "Veronica!" she exclaimed, glancing back into the house. "I didn’t know you were coming," Donna said, awkwardly smiling. "Oh, shit sorry, I thought dad might have said something. He kind of… invited me I guess," Ronnie said. Trust Piney to not say shit. "It's fine," Donna stepped aside, motioning for Ronnie to enter. "Come in. I've just served dinner, are you hungry?" Ronnie shook her head as she entered the house. "Nah I already ate. Thanks though." She continued to blindly follow the hallway, hoping she was going the right way.

The hall opened up into the dining room and Veronica stopped short as she saw Piney, Opie and her niece and nephew, Ellie and Kenny, sitting at the table with plates in front of them. "Hey," Ronnie cleared her throat. "Hey Ope. Hi Ellie, Kenny." She waved at the kids. They awkwardly waved back, glancing at their dad. Opie dropped his fork, making Ronnie and the kids jump as it clattered against his plate. "Ope?!" Donna started from behind Ronnie. "Not hungry," he grunted out before he made his way out the back door into the backyard, slamming the door behind him. The silence in the room was deafening as Ronnie internally fought with what she should do next. She smiled at the kids again before she followed her brother through the door. Opie sat on a porch swing that was in the back corner of the backyard, a lit cigarette between his lips.

Ronnie made her way over to him, her black boots scuffing along the short patched of turf and dirt. "Those things will kill ya, you know," she motioned to his cigarette. Opie ignored her, taking a long drag. "Look, Ope…" she began, pushing her hands into her pockets. "I know you’re not my biggest fan right n-" "You really think you can just come back like you didn’t just drop off the face of the earth for 10 years?" he cut her off. Ronnie sighed, running her hand over her hair, gathering it over one shoulder. "Dropping off the face of the earth is slightly dramatic, don’t ya think?" Opie met her eyes, his mouth a hard line. "Dad was already sick before you left and you just disappearing only made him worse. You missed my wedding!" he took a another draw of his cigarette. "My kids hardly even know their Aunt…" he laughed without humour and shook his head. "And you just walk in and say hi? You really think that would be it?"

Ronnie sighed and sat next to her brother on the porch swing. "I'm… I'm sorry Ope. I couldn't stay," she cracked her knuckles, habit her mother always scolded her for when she was little. "I honestly didn’t realise I'd hurt you this bad." Opie shook his head, knocking his knee against Ronnie's. "You're my baby sister," he mumbled. "We already had so much time apart after mom and dad divorced. It felt like I had gotten you back for a little while and then you just took off." Ronnie's heart sank. She never gave her brother much credit for just how much he loved his family - although he didn’t always show it. "Shit Ope. You know I didn't do it to hurt you. I had to get away. Away from," she swallowed thickly, her skin crawling. "Him." Opie scoffed. "You know we wouldn’t have let him put his hands on you. Me, Pops. Shit even Jax would put a bullet in his head before he let you get hurt."

Ronnie shook her head. "But he did put his hands on me Ope. Distance," she sighed. "Distance felt like the best option. And this place. This town," she motioned with her hand. "Everywhere I went it felt like him. Felt like he had tainted it somehow. Even being back now," she shivered, running her hands up and down her arms. "I'm sick to my stomach Ope. He could pop up anywhere." Opie turned to his sister, his stare cutting her off. "You see one glimpse of him, you tell me. I won't let that shit stain near you." Ronnie smiled flatly, patting Opie's back and standing. "Yeah yeah, I'll put you on speed dial," she smiled. Opie huffed a laugh and stood. Ronnie smiled and pulled him into a brief hug. "Still not okay with you going ghost," he said. She nodded, pulling away. "I know. But I'm here now. And I'm gonna make up for these last 10 years."

Ronnie walked arm in arm with her father to where their vehicles were parked. "Well after your brothers tantrum, that all seemed to go okay," Piney said, leaning over to kiss his daughter on the head. "Yeah Pops, you know Ope. He's soft at heart. Won’t be long and I'll be back in his good books," she smiled, watching Piney climb aboard his trike. "You working tomorrow sweetheart?" he asked, buckling his helmet on. She nodded, unlocking her SUV. "Yeah I'm always working." Piney smiled, his old heart warming knowing there was no longer distance between him and his two kids. "Alright, I'll follow you home. Make sure you get there safe." Ronnie began to protest and then remembered her conversation with her brother. "That would be great, thanks Pop." She slid into the drivers seat of her car and tried to start the engine. The car coughed and chugged once before it conked out completely. "Piece of shit," she slammed her hands against the wheel. Piney lifted his arms in a questioning manner. She jumped out. "Car won’t start." Piney motioned back to Opie's house. "Get your brother to drive you home, I'll get someone from TM to come tow your car to the garage tomorrow." Ronnie sighed and bid her father farewell before she made her way back up the path towards Opie's house.

#sons of anarchy #soa #sons of anarchy fanfiction #sons of anarchy fic #juice ortiz #juice soa #juan carlos ortiz #juan carlos juice ortiz #juice ortiz fanfic #juice ortiz fic #juice ortiz fanfiction #juice ortiz x oc

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missvelvetsstuff · 1 year

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Where you goin, Star?

Summary: Reader meets Bucky when the truck hauling her show horses breaks down as she is trying to leave for an event and he works for the mechanic. Passionate, secret love affair ensues. After a confrontation with her father, Bucky decides she deserves better than a poor biker like him and leaves town with his friends Steve and Sam.

Three years later, reader is trapped in an abusive relationship and about to give up hope of things ever improving, when Bucky comes back.

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Chapter 3

Warnings: swearing, mild violence, forced miscarriage, angst, animal death

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The morning of the bbq, Star had brunch with her parents which ended in another argument with her father.

"Dad, I'm not marrying John Walker. No way in Hell. He's abusive and rude. Besides he already has a girlfriend. Why can't he marry her?"

Alexander Pierce sighed heavily. He appreciated his daughter's strength but not when she opposed him. "John's now ex girlfriend, isn't the right kind of woman for his career. He is retiring from the Army and running for Congress. You are the right kind of woman. You have good breeding, an excellent education, a good reputation....not to mention your physical beauty. You would make a handsome couple."

Star looked confused "I've met Olivia Hoskins. She went to high school with John, they've been together for years. She is lovely and well educated too. I don't see what the problem is." she paused and her eyes grew wide "Oh my God dad. It's not because shes black? Please tell me that's not it."

He looked at her impatiently and spoke to her like she was a small child. "Sweetheart, don't be stupid it's not because of her skin color."

I'm sure she's a lovely young woman but she comes from nothing. Her education was paid for with scholarships but all the education in the world can't prepare you for this high powered life the way being raised in it can. You've always had the best and I've always expected the best from you. Wife of the future president is the best life possible. You will influence everything he does, in a gentle, loving way, while you stand behind him.

She could never be what you will be."

"That's fucking disgusting. You think I would be a better wife when I don't agree with conservatives these days? When I can't stand John? I'm not that good of an actress."

He chuckled "I'm sure we can find some incentive for you to behave appropriately."

Star rolled her eyes "Not bloody likely. I have to go. I'm meeting some friends" she stood up, gave her mother a hug and left.

Her mother tried to change her husbands mind "Honey, I don't think she would be happy with John. Maybe-"

She almost fell out of her chair when he slapped her "Now sweetheart, look what you made me do." He grabbed her chin tightly and forced her to look at him "Don't question me again or I'll send you away on another 'vacation'. Understand?"

She nodded, shaking and trying to hold the tears back until he left the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Star got home, Bucky was waiting for her. He could tell she was agitated "What's wrong Star?"

She shook her head "Just my asshole father. I don't want to talk about it. Let's go have some fun" she kissed him hard on the mouth.

When she pulled back he was panting "I know some fun we could have here. No one will care if we're late." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her flush against him, kissing her neck.

Star pushed him away "We can do that when we get home. I don't want to show up late, looking and smelling like sex. What would your friends think?"

Bucky smirked "The friends who complain about the smells in the clubhouse from our sex? They'd probably thank me for keeping it away from them."

Star shook her head "You're insatiable Jamie"

"Only for you Star."

"Better not be anyone else. I'd hate to have to kill you."

Bucky kissed her "Never anyone else. No one could ever measure up to my Star. You're it for me baby."

She looked at him curiously and whispered "You mean that, Jamie?"

"Of course Star. I love you and nothing will ever change that." He said sincerely.

"Oh, Jamie. I love you too." She kissed him again. "But we still need to go. Let me change real quick." She came out of her room a few minutes later in jeans, boots and a peasant blouse with something in her hand.

"Happy Birthday, old man."

Bucky grinned "You didn't need to get me something."

"Just open it"

Inside was a photo album full of pictures of her in barely there lingerie and the last few in nothing at all. She pulled down the shoulder on her blouse to show him she was wearing the first set.

"Something to keep in mind for when we get home."

Bucky smiled lasciviously "I'm going to destroy you tonight baby. Make sure you eat enough to keep your strength up."

When they arrived at the clubhouse, he led her to the large back yard and everyone cheered. Steve was the first to approach them and gave Star a big hug. "Welcome to the asylum. I don't know how you do it but I've never seen Bucky so happy. Thank you."

A tall black man with an eye patch and a 'kiss the cook' apron came up to them "So you're this Star I keep hearing about. Barnes is pretty smitten and I can see why." He hugged her.

"I'm Col Nick Fury, I own the garage where he works and I started this little club."

Bucky explained. "Nick was our C.O. in Iraq. Steve was our captain and I was sergeant, you know Peggy already. We met Sam, Thor and Loki there" he pointed people out as he named them "Jane is Thor's girl, Darcy is Jane's friend and Loki's something. The blonde over there is Danielle or something, she is sitting on Jack Rollins. The redhead is Wanda, the guy next to her with the frosted tips is her twin brother Pietro. The antisocial asshole smoking by the fence is Zemo, claims to be a baron in some former Soviet country but the twins are from the same country and never heard of him. Thinks he's above all of us."

Bucky looked around "The kid behind the bar is Peter, he's a prospect which means he's not a full member yet and we get to boss him around" Bucky grinned and shouted "Hey Parker, how about something to drink for my girl? You remember Star, don't you?" As he pulled Star into his lap.

Peter smiled then his face flushed when he remembered meeting Bucky's girl, walking in on them having sex in the kitchen. When he spoke his voice cracked a bit "Yes sir. What does the lady like?"

Star smiled at him "Can you make an on the rocks margarita? If not I'll teach you."

Bucky smirked as he watched Peter pulling up the recipe on his phone and carefully measuring the ingredients out and pouring them into a clean glass.

Peter walked over to them and handed Star her glass and a cold beer to Bucky who winked at him "Good job, kid"

They all chatted and while Star was getting to know them, the back door opened and a tall man, but not as tall as Bucky, with curly dark hair and a face that had been through too much, walked into the yard.

Nick turned around from the grill "Rumlow! Nice of you to drop by. When did they let you out?"

Rumlow scoffed "A few hours ago. I tried to call for a ride but no one was picking up." He looked around and saw Star, a lecherous grin taking over his face.

"I see we have new meat, no wonder y'all were distracted. What's your name, sweet butt? Can I have a turn when Barnes is done?"

Bucky bristled "Hands off Brock, she's no sweet butt, this is Star and she's mine."

Brock looked disappointed "No fair claiming them before everyone gets a taste. She looks delicious, too."

Bucky growled and pulled Star closer to him. "You touch her and I'll knock those ugly scars right off your face. I ain't playing Brock. She's with me and I'll fuck anyone up who messes with her."

"Fine I won't touch her." He looked at Jack and the girl on his lap. "Looks like it's the three of us again, Dana."

The girl looked angry "It's Dot dammit. Why can't any of you get my name right?"

Brock smirked "Cuz we don't care what your name is as long as you open your legs. Or mouth."

Nick scolded "What the fuck Brock? You just got back and you're going to be an asshole? Do you need a nap or a time out?"

Brock sat down with a beer "I just need to cut loose, get rid of that trapped feeling jail always gives me."

Zemo speaks for the first time "I'm down for some trouble. Maybe meet some new girls, whatshername is getting boring." He looks Star up and down "You have any friends you'd like to invite, pretty Star?"

She shuddered and pressed up against Bucky who glared at him.

Steve shook his head "Isn't cutting loose how you ended up in jail in the first place? Maybe just hang out and have a few drinks. Stay out of trouble for a minute."

Nick looked at him pointedly "Crime isn't really our thing anymore."

Star looked at Bucky questioningly "I thought all bikers were criminals"

Bucky chuckled "A lot of them do some crime but not all. We found Brock, Jack and Pietro running a chop shop when we finally came home. Nick bought their garage and this house. We all sat down and decided we didn't want that shit over our heads. Nowadays, except for some substances that are occasionally procured for personal use, we are all clean. Brock has a hard time keeping in line."

Nick smiled at Bucky fondly "These are good boys for the most part, a little rough around the edges but good hearts. After all we went through I couldn't stand the thought of them turning into petty criminals."

Star basked in the glow of this family that had no blood ties but seemed more caring and accepting than her own parents. Her mother tried but her father didn't want to be soft on Y/N. She'd rather be Bucky's Star than Y/N Pierce with all the trappings that entailed. She would prefer a simpler life with her horses and dreamed of the day she would be able to leave it all behind.

The bbq was a great success as most of the group made fun of Bucky for another birthday with joke presents that implied Bucky had been making up his new girl.

Brock made a couple of inappropriate cracks and couldn't seem to stop staring at Star but she just ignored him even though he grossed her out.

They drank too much and shared a couple of joints so decided to crash there instead of driving back to Stars house. She brushed her teeth and washed her face before changing into one of his t-shirts.

When she walked into his room Bucky whistled "You know I love you in my clothes doll but I recall a certain outfit that I was planning on destroying."

She smirked "Maybe I'm still wearing it and thought this would make it easier for an old man like you. I don't wanna wear you out too quickly."

Their coupling was different that night. Still passionate but there was more behind it. Like meeting his family and being accepted made them both more sure of the relationship, that it was real and could last.

They only slept for an hour or two when her alarm went off and he groaned, pulling her closer "No Star, stay here with me."

She chuckled sleepily "I can't Jamie. Animals depend on me, people depend on me. You don't have to take me home, I'll call an uber."

He growled "Not a chance my girl is riding with a stranger when I could have her on the back of my bike. I'll be dressed in a sec."

They basked in the glow of what felt like a new chapter of their relationship but when they arrived at her house the glow was dulled. A black Rolls Royce was parked in her driveway, Clint standing next to it, and her stomach clutched when she saw her father waiting on the porch.

"Y/N, I'm glad you're home. I was so worried" he said with a hint of sarcasm.

She removed her helmet and dismounted the bike speaking softly "Why don't you go Jamie and I'll deal with this."

Before Bucky could answer, her father spoke up. "No, actually I'd like to speak to your friend as well. Jamie, is it?"

Bucky could sense her fear but this man didn't scare him so his turned the bike off and dismounted. He offered his hand to her father "Mr Pierce, James Barnes."

Pierce looked at Bucky like he was dirt and didn't offer his hand. "Maybe we should go inside, don't need the neighbors talking."

Y/N grabbed Bucky's hand and pulled him inside, brushing past Clint who looked at her with disappointment.

Once they were all inside she turned and looked at her father "What do you need dad? I have a busy day to get started."

Pierce looked at Bucky with a sneer "I need you to end this little rebellion and settle down with John. You know you can't beat me and I don't want anyone to get hurt."

She glared at her father "Stop throwing around threats. I won't marry John and I will walk away from you and this bullshit life in a heartbeat so drop it."

Pierce saw the determination in her eyes and decided to take a different approach. "Fine but this isn't over. We'll talk soon." And left with Clint.

Star was shocked he backed down so easily. "Be careful Jamie. He probably has more plans, my father never backs down."

Bucky smiled and kissed her "Don't worry, Star. I'm always careful and I'll never let anyone hurt you."

Star went to work, heading back to the barn as Bucky left.

When Bucky went out front he saw Clint still waiting "Mr Pierce would like to speak with you privately. Would you like to follow me?"

Bucky nodded and climbed onto his bike, following Clint to an office building and then to the top floor where he stepped out of the elevator into a busy office. A receptionist greeting him and showed him into Pierce's office.

Pierce waved him over to a chair. "Look James. I know how stubborn my daughter can be so I'm hoping you'll see some sense. I'm sure you care about her, maybe you really do love her but you have to realize it can't work between you.

Y/N might say she doesn't care about money but she's always had everything she needed and then some. She's never struggled in her life. She might believe that your love is enough but for how long? How can she be happy in that clubhouse that you share with your degenerate friends? John Walker comes from a good family and has a bright future, a real shot at becoming president one day. Do you think that a mechanics wife compares with being first lady?"

Bucky grimaced "What about her inheritance from her grandmother?"

Pierce shook his head "Not happening. My lawyers have already found a few loopholes so I can tie that money up in court for years, she'll never see a dime if she marries you."

Bucky sighed defeatedly "I love her sir and won't leave her unless she wants me to."

Pierce smiled evilly "What if I sweeten the pot for you? You walk away from my daughter, tonite, and I'll set you up in another city. But you have to leave and don't try to contact her after you leave here."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Star was done working for the day she saw she had a text message from Bucky.

'I love you, Star. No matter how things look or what people say, please remember I will always love you.'

She smiled but was confused. When she tried to message back, then call him, she was blocked. That made her scared so she tried to call Steve, then Sam. They had blocked her too. She started to panic and jumped in her truck to go to the garage. When she got there Nick was closing up, he looked at her sadly.

"Miss Pierce. How can I help you?"

Star looked at him in shock "Miss Pierce? Yesterday it was Star. What happened?"

Nick coughed "Nothing miss, just addressing you appropriately."

She shook her head "Whatever. Where's Bucky?"

Nick shook his head "He left. Took Steve and Sam with him."

Star started to panic "What do you mean left? Where is he? Where did they go?"

"I'm sorry miss. I don't know. They came in this morning, said they were leaving, grabbed their tools and left."

She started fighting to hold her tears back. "Why would he do this? He blocked me, they all did. I don't understand."

Nick just shook his head sadly.

Star took off for her father's house, crying and cussing. She slammed the door when she came in and started yelling "Dad!DAD!! You bastard! What did you do?"

Pierce came down the stairs calmly, smiling "Y/N dear, lovely of you to stop by. To what do I owe-"

She cut him off "You know goddamn well why I'm here. What did you do?"

He shook his head, chuckling "I simply helped the boy see reason. Convinced him that he would be holding you back and offered a handsome sum for him to start elsewhere." He paused, smiling widely "Next weekend you will announce your engagement to John and start planning the wedding of the season."

Star snapped "No fucking way. I will never marry him. I'm going to find Bucky, I have to tell him I'm pregnant. I took a home test this morning after he left."

Pierce scowled "Well that won't do" and waved someone in from the hall. "Brock, could you take care of that for me?"

Brock nodded and smiled cruelly "My pleasure, sir."

Star looked at Brock wide eyed "You?"

Brock nodded "yeah, Me. You know, I saw Barnes when he was leaving, asked what he wanted to do about you. He just shrugged and told me 'if she comes back looking for me, you can have her' and winked"

Brock punched her in the stomach. Hard. Over and over until she couldn't hold herself up any more, then kicked her a few times for good measure.

In between her sobs she yelped and curled into a ball "Daddy, please. I love him, I want....your grandchild. Please"

Pierce looked at Brock "call Dr Zola to check on her. Then take her home."

When Star woke the next morning her body ached and it took her a few minutes to remember what had happened before she started crying again. She stayed in bed, refusing to answer the phone or door. She didn't understand how Bucky could say all those things but just take her fathers money and leave. She had never felt such pain in her life.

Around dinnertime she heard knocking again and was ignoring it until she heard her door fly open. She got out of bed and looked to see who it was. Her father and John Walker came in with Brock trailing behind.

John reached for her but she flinched away "It's ok sweetheart, I know you're hurting but once we marry it'll be better for you."

Star stood up straight and spat at him "I won't marry you John. I don't know how many more ways to say it."

He looked at her questioningly "You sure about that honey? I'll bet I can convince you" and nodded to Brock.

Brock quickly grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder, carrying her as he followed Pierce and John to the barn. He dropped her onto the floor in the middle of the barn.

Pierce looked at her coldly "Are you sure you won't marry him?"

Star nodded "positive"

He nodded to Brock who walked up to the stall marked "Charlie", pulled put his gun and fired it twice.

Charlie grunted and fell over.

Star jumped up and ran to his stall, screaming "CHARLIE!!" and fell next to his lifeless body, sobbing.

Pierce threw his handkerchief at her "I hope you see how serious I am now. If you aren't at the party this weekend, dressed and ready to act like the fiance of the man you love then Brock will come back for Lulu.

Have a good week, dear."

Chapter 4

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes x reader #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #angst with a happy ending #biker au

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taffywabbit · 1 year

Text

ok story time let's go

(i guess CW// religious baggage? vaguely cult-y stuff? Mormons?)

so i was laughing at that (presumably bait) tweet that got screenshotted and reposted on here, with the person claiming that y'all is a problematic term used by "bigoted southerners" and someone else dunking on them, because I'm Canadian and I say y'all ALL the time. and like, that by itself wouldn't be too notable - there ARE rural areas of Canada, particularly over in Alberta/Saskatchewan, where the local accent and slang have convergently evolved into something very similar to Texas (and I DID actually grow up in a town like that, though i never picked up the accent myself).

what makes my adoption of y'all particularly odd is that I picked it up in the Caribbean of all places. if you are familiar with my Not-So-Secret Tragic Backstory then you MIGHT know where this is going already.

I was raised in a Mormon family, so when I was 18 i was basically required to go do the missionary thing with the white shirts and ties and nametags. (this is very funny considering my current status as a gay trans furry artist and leftist, but this story isn't really about that.) I got assigned a random location in the world, and was shipped off to the Eastern Caribbean for 2 years. it was very hot and sweaty and overall not a very good time for me, the world's blondest palest scrawniest teen who would have to walk around all day every day in office attire.

ANYWAYS a few months after my mission began, we got a new mission president (the old guy assigned by the church to be in charge of all the missionaries in a region, along with his wife). while he was generally a pretty jovial friendly guy, he also had an occasional tendency to powertrip and institute random arbitrary rule changes whenever he felt that the missionaries weren't performing as well as he'd like and the numbers were down. with missionaries, there's a huge focus on "exact obedience" and "consecration" - this idea that the more single-mindedly devoted you are to Doing Missionary Stuff and Thinking About Jesus and Never Having A Single Fucking Independent Thought In Your Head Or Taking Care Of Your Personal Wellbeing Or Enjoying Yourself, the more god will bless you with like. charisma superpowers or something. to just change people's minds on the spot as you blast them with your Conversion Beam. and therefore anytime that ISN'T happening (y'know, because people have free will, and also because being Mormon is wildly unappealing to any reasonable outsider), it clearly MUST be because those darn young punk missionaries are probably thinking too much about their partners back home or drawing Pokemon fanart or collecting distractingly colourful neckties. can't have that!

so with all that context, I can finally get to the point, which is that one day our mission president decided the reason nobody was knocking on our apartment door begging to get baptized was probably because we, as missionaries, were too casual in our interactions with one another. specifically, he took issue with missionaries calling each other "dude" or "bro" or "man", or referring to each other collectively as "you guys". he insisted that this was "eroding the dignity of our sacred calling as missionaries" and that we should instead strive to call each other "Elder" and "Sister" (the titles used for male and female missionaries respectively) as much as humanly possible.

specifically as an alternative to "you guys", he suggested we start saying "Elders and Sisters" every time we addressed a mixed group of missionaries. which OBVIOUSLY sounds really fucking stupid. and I was in a leadership position at the time, so I had to deliver instruction/training to the missionaries in my area every week AND call them to check-in every night. being a missionary and constantly being commanded to do incredibly stupid arbitrary things really brought out my latent rebellious streak, and there was NO fucking way I was going to say "Elders and Sisters" if i could avoid it - the only people who actually complied with the new rule were immediately identifiable as goody-two-shoes and suck-ups and everyone wanted to push them into the ocean.

so INSTEAD, i and several other missionaries quickly realized that we could simply get away with saying "you all" or just plural "you" with like, a hand gesture to show we meant the group. which naturally just evolved into y'all pretty quickly because it's an incredibly natural contraction of words and it just feels good to say. and the mission president never complained about it, because we weren't using cool youngster slang like "guys" or "dudes" and instead it just sounded like a fun twangy rural affectation. and then i just kinda kept saying it for the rest of my mission, and continued saying it after i returned home and went off to college in the city and all that jazz.

...absolutely no clue where I picked up saying "howdy" all the time tho. i don't have an excuse or backstory for that one lol, it's just fun to say

#buny text #storytime #long post #idk what the standard tags are for tagging like. religious shit for folks to blacklist. particularly ex-mormon stuff #so if anyone needs to me to add tags lemme know #thank you for reading my very long post i think this story is very funny personally #i love when friends point out how much i say Y'all and assume it's because i grew up in rural alberta and i get to say 'actually no'

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artzychic27 · 11 months

Text

Back at the Barnyard quotes for no reason

Jean: Hey, folks! Viewer mail time again! *Opens a latter* Here’s one from Sally, age 14. “Dear Jean, aren’t you interrupting the story at the most suspenseful part?” Well, the answer is yes, Sally. Yes, I am. Keep those cards and letters coming!

—

Science Kids: *Dressed in burglary gear and relaxing on a massage chair when Jagged Stone suddenly walks in* Jagged Stone?!

Jagged Stone: Yeah, I’m Jagged Stone. What are you all doing in my house?

Science Kids: … Robbing it.

—

Simon: All rise! Court is now in session! The honorable Judge Marc presiding!

Marc: *Sits at the desk and immediately bangs the gavel* Guilty! Now let’s get to the punishment!

Alya: You haven’t heard any evidence yet!

Marc: I don’t need evidence! I can tell she did it by her beady little eyes!

Marinette: *Nervously shifting her eyes*

Marc: But, if you’re gonna make a big deal about it… Prosecutor, proceed!

—

Austin Q: Hey, Denise. Can I teach you the dance of love?

Denise: Is one of the steps my foot on your neck? ‘Cause there’s a dance I could really enjoy.

Austin Q: Ooh! Shot down! *Backs away*

—

Simon: Hm. I guess stupid is contagious.

—

Cosette: We gotta ditch the body! He knows too much! We gotta take care of him!… We gotta whack him.

Aurore: There will be no whacking! Okay, Ivan’s a good guy.

Mireille: And he’s a vegan. God bless him.

Ismael: And, uh… What’s a vegan again?

Lacey: Ah, I got it. It means you can’t eat anything with a face.

Jean: No, no, that’s a vegetarian.

Cosette: I think vegetarians have to eat in the dark.

Reshma: That’s vampires.

Lacey: And, you can’t eat cheese?

Reshma: It’s not just cheese. Vegans can’t have any dairy products.

*Aurore silently freaks out when she notices Ivan starting to wake up, but the others are oblivious*

Denise: Cake has egg products.

Simon: But you can’t have any dairy.

Ismael: Aw, but I love dairy! Does that mean I can’t be a vegan?

Marc: I love the smell of bacon! There, I said it!

*Ivan wakes up, and the students gasp*

Ivan: Huh? What’s- *Denise kicks him in the head, effectively knocking him out*

Aurore: WOULD YOU NOT DO THAT?!

Denise: It’s not like we have a lot of options.

—

Aurore: We gotta snap him out of this. Okay, Jean’s family. He’s like the crazy uncle we never had.

Cosette: Uh… Right… I never had a crazy uncle…

*Flashback*

*Five year old Cosette is listening to their crazy uncle speak utter nonsense*

Crazy Uncle: The Easter bunny has betrayed me! We’ll have to close the beaches! You can’t close the beaches, we’re a summer town! Get these turtles outta my head, PLEASE! Aaand, linge! *Starts line dancing while scatting* Dah Dah! Yah Doo! Dah Dah!

*End flashback*

Cosette: *Shudders*

—

Denise: *As four Akumas stalk toward them* Well, well. Whatever will I do? *Drop kicks all of them without moving from their spot*

—

Kim: I prechewed it so you wouldn't waste jaw energy.

Adrien: ... So the sandwich in my mouth was previously in your mouth?

Kim: Nice taste, eh?

—

Adrien: Hey, anybody ever notice that Ladybug and Marinette are never together at the same time?

Alya: You're really 31 flavors of dumb, aren't you?

—

Shadow Moth: Hey! Who's there?

Ladybug: Your worst nightmare.

Chat Noir: And Chat Noir!

—

Austin A: No, I don't wanna get eaten, I'm too young! Too young!

Austin B: Dude, you're not gonna get eaten.

Austin A: What, you're saying I wouldn't go nice with some low-fat chips and a cherry cola?

—

Ismael: *To Bubbler* You got rid of the only people standing between us and shallow graves so we can celebrate the day this guy *Points to Adrien* came into the Earth?

—

Nathaniel: *Whispering* Whatever you do, do not eat the... *everyone runs and eats Louis' mini pizzas* ... All right. I guess they're all right.

Louis: I hope you like them. I made them with love... and flaming hot chili sauce! *All of the students start screaming as they try to cool their tongues down*

Marc: *Completely calm and eating another mini pizza* Man, you guys are lightweights.

—

Aurore: I don't buy it. There's no way Marinette pushed Lila down the stairs. Come on, let's go solve the case of the pushed Italian.

Denise: I don't know, Aurore. That's really going to cut into my weight-lifting time.

Aurore: I'll bring snacks.

Denise: I'm in!

—

Alix: *After Louis leaves* He's gone, but you can still smell the stupid.

—

Alix: Hey, what did you use in that energy drink?

Marinette: Milk.

Max: Vitamins.

Rose: Love.

Alix: And...?

Kim: And these pepper shakers. *Holds up a stick of dynamite*

Alix: That's not pepper, that's dynamite!

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous #mlb incorrect quotes #science kids #akuma class #incorrect quotes #remember this show?#Loved it #nostaligia #nostalgia #back at the barnyard

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rubykgrant · 1 year

Note

for the fanfiction theme alphabet ask game: bitters + H? if you're not up for it, grif + Y (up to the author)!

(I had some thoughts about the Chorus characters the other day, so I'm gonna go with Bitters! also this is more than a drabble haha. thanks for asking~)

It was WEIRD being part of the "older crowd"... even though he didn't like being treated like a child, Bitters still sort of thought of himself as a "kid". He was just barely-almost-nearly 21 now, but he felt mostly the same as when he was a teenager. Except, life was ironically easier. Or maybe just less dangerous on a regular basis. He had more responsible crap to do now, which definitely went against his grain.

Like being in charge of all these little newbies; people who had previously been ACTUAL kids here on Chorus, lucky to have survived all that BS of a pointless war, most of them orphans who never knew their parents, now grown into teenagers. Like he had been, when he got sucked into that very pointless war. Like he still felt, even though he was part of the "older crowd". It wasn't just all these new responsibilities, it was...

Well, he didn't want to admit this, not even when he was complaining to his friends, but he resented the fact that he barely ever got to enjoy anything during his teens. When he tried to just goof around or have fun, people told him he was selfish. There was also the uncomfortable feeling, guilt or something, that he was only part of the "older crowd" because the most of the adults that had been fighting before him had been killed. It wasn't fair. NONE of this had been FAIR.

At least the newbies don't have to worry about being soldiers. The ones he's looking after in particular, they're learning about building plans and construction. They all want to make new cities and towns here on Chorus, places where people could actually LIVE. Bitters was a little embarrassed, but still kinda proud, because Kimball (PRESIDENT Kimball, that is) had really liked one of his ideas; setting up neighborhoods that had walkways and paths for bikes in front of the homes, but making a system of "alley ways" behind them, in a grid, for cars and public transportation, with several different businesses and shops scattered throughout. Some parks, and entertainment areas, too. Everything was within walking distance, but perfectly accessible for anybody with mobility issues.

She liked that idea, he was put in charge of helping the newbies actually put it all together, which was very cool and impressive, but it was also WEIRD, and he didn't know if he was ready to feel like a whole adult yet.

He especially wasn't ready for pointless war crap to start up again.

They were supposed to be OVER and DONE with all this, no more danger on a regular basis, but evidently some a-holes were unhappy with the idea of Chorus turning into a big "hippy community" where everybody got along and was nice to each other. These a-holes stayed quiet for a while, but had only been stewing in a silent rage. Now they were done being quiet. Some of them blamed Doyle for trusting Locus, some of them blamed Kimball for not surrendering back in the day, some of them blamed the Reds and Blues for proving that the war had always been pointless, and some of them seemed to blame EVERYBODY except themselves.

These a-holes started WRECKING things on Chorus, or tried to... a few wanted to sabotage the various temples, but were unable to cause much damage. There had been a pretty pathetic attempt to attack Kimball, which failed miserably. After that, the a-holes picked an easier target; all the new construction areas.

Even though the newbies weren't trained for fighting, they still wore armor for safety reasons. None of them had been hurt so far, it was just a pain that so many areas had to be re-built, again and again, but then the a-holes had to go and up-the-ante, somebody set fire to a building, and it spread to a few of the vehicles, and the stupid newbies were in TROUBLE, and Bitters didn't even think twice about running to the rescue. Like an idiot.

The fire hadn't really been the problem, it was the fuel tanks exploding that was the REAL issue.

Later, when Bitters was getting patched-up in a hospital, he found out he'd torn a few muscles in his legs from rushing around, pushing heavy chunks of equipment to the side, and carrying the newbies away from harm. He had also been doing all this with a broken section of an iron bar in his shoulder. That had been... a lot. A lot of activity, and a lot of pain. Jeez, since when did he TRY so hard?

What did he get as a reward, anyway? Now he was stuck in a low-risk recovery room, not technically in the hospital anymore since he wasn't an emergency situation, but unable to leave or do anything fun. The food here sucked. The TV only got like, 20 channels, and all the shows sucked. The a-holes were still out there, causing more problems, so none of his friends were able to come see him, plus the construction work had been halted until everybody was definitely going to be safe. Everything SUCKED.

Bitters feels like crying, sitting alone in the small apartment-like room, and he's not even sure why. Or, maybe he knows, he just didn't want to admit it. The fighting was supposed to be finished. Actually, the grown-ups who STARTED the original fighting should have finished it a long time ago. Before Doyle and Kimball were in charge, before Felix and Locus were in the mix, the adults on Chorus should have solved their own damn problems WITHOUT making it worse for people who weren't even part of it. Instead, it just kept happening, it kept getting worse. Bitters wanted to actually be the kid he still felt like, and he wanted all those little newbies to be safe enough to be the kids they were...

Bitters wanted Jensen to keep playing around with her recycling ideas, and he wanted her to keep being able to take her own little newbies on research trips to the nearby planet clusters to catalogue all the weird plants and fungus that grew in space. He wanted Palomo to keep collecting vintage physical media so he could make new copies of old movies, and teach all his newbies about types of music they've never heard before. He wanted Andersmith to keep being the guy who was so nit-picky about security making things safe, so all his little newbies could keep learning about vehicles and space ships. He wanted Matthews to keep making all those computer programs, stuff Bitters didn't totally understand, but he knew some of it was important for making stuff on Chorus actually work, but some of it was important because Matthews was also making things like games, and all his newbies got to design and test them out. Having fun after surviving an almost-genocide was IMPORTANT.

Bitters just wanted them all to have some fun... instead, he's hurt, and alone, and nobody is even here to visit him and smuggle in some good treats, because they have to go deal with more a-holes that think they have a good reason to try and hurt KIDS! Everything sucks, nobody is fixing it, and now he really is crying, which in particular sucked because had his armor on. It might help by taking stress off his leg muscles, and keep his injured shoulder in place, but when the tears rolled down his face and got into the little edge of his undersuit around his neck, it was REALLY irritating... not as much as dealing with throw-up inside a helmet, but still-

"Knock-knock!" a voice called out as the door suddenly opened.

Bitters recognized that voice instantly. He simply did not expect to hear it, and rather than make any reply, he was frozen in disbelief.

"I heard Bitters had a boo-boo. So, I brought my never-fail cure-all. Chocolate!"

It really was Grif. Captain Dexter Grif. He was actually here, and he actually had a gift-basket in his hands. Did Bitters have an additional head injury he wasn't aware of?

"The rest of the basket's from all the others. Y'know, my guys, plus your buddies... I think Matthews passed a card around with some of the kids you've been working with. He told me you saved a few of them too, that's how you got hurt. Aww, are you trying to be a hero, like your former leader of Team Orange?"

"How the hell... why are you HERE?" Bitters finally found his voice.

"Oh man... dude, we never told you kids that story, did we? You have no idea why that's funny. Never mind, I'll let Simmons explain it later. I'm here, with the rest of my famous and heroic friends, because we've been dealing with some jack-asses who've been trying to kill us. SSDD, right? Well, we were in the neighborhood, and heard a distress call from our former Lieutenants, who were ALSO dealing with some jack-asses! Being heroes who do heroic things, we all jumped in and saved the day. The jack-asses really wanted to do the whole 'if we can't win, we'll just kill everybody, so we all lose' thing, but we didn't let that happen. It's too bad you didn't get to see it, I was pretty cool, and that ain't a brag!"

Grif sat down in a chair beside Bitters, holding the basket out for him. It was chock-full of goodies, including the chocolate Grif promised. It looked like 5 different kinds of full-sized bars, and they didn't even have any bites taken out of them.

"Yeah, well... I remember you telling me about how cool you were before... and that was a lot more than a brag," Bitters replied, holding the basket in his lap. He sounded more quiet than he usually was, afraid if he talked too loudly, his voice would crack and prove he had been crying. Grif shrugged in response, unbothered in being called on his old BS. "Besides, if you guys were dealing with your own jack-asses, why get pulled into one of our messes again? Aren't you all just... sick and tired of the problems we keep having?"

"Bitters, I've been sick and tired of a LOT of crap since I was a teenager," Grif answered. He reached out, lightly tapping his knuckles against the helmet Bitters wore (aware that the young man was still healing, and not wanting to give a playful shove that might be accidentally painful). "I've tried giving up, a dozen different ways. You know what I've learned? It doesn't work. Not for long, anyway. Eventually, somebody needs to deal with the problems. I've also learned that me and my friends, we're... oddly GOOD at extreme problem-solving. We can't fix everything, but we can definitely deal with a few different jack-asses. So, what the hell. We'll be the heroic and responsible grown-ups that save you little goobers. No need to thank us!"

"I'm- I'm almost 21!" Bitters said, his voice hitching from laughter and fresh tears.

"ALMOST 21? Yeah, that's called being 20, dude. Which is like, a baby to me. Because I'm OLD, Bitters. I'm an old, old man..." Grif continued dramatically.

"Sh-shut uh-up!" Biiters choked out, officially laughing more than crying.

"You watch your mouth young man, have some respect for your elders!" Grif pretended to scold him. Bitters found himself leaning against him, with his good shoulder. After a few minutes, he opened up one of the chocolate bars; it was milk chocolate with macadamia chunks and coconut. He'd never had any candy like this before, and he liked it right away. Bitters wound up eating the whole bar as Grif explained a little more about what had been happening in the last week or so.

#red vs blue #rvb #rvb fic

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votestaynight · 1 year

Text

6th day "BLADE" (scene 2)

"…Rider. Was it true, what Shinji said earlier?"

I call out to her, not expecting a response.

"―――――"

There's no change in Rider. Her hair flutters in the wind.

"It was not a lie. It is true that a witch is up on the mountain."

"…Right. Sorry for asking a stupid question when we're enemies."

I raise my hand to thank her and exit.

―――Then.

"Huh… Rider?"

"Be careful if you are to challenge her. That witch knows men inside out."

Rider talks without interest.

I notice myself getting drawn in by her voice and quickly shake my head.

"Uh, um… thanks for the warning.

―――And please take care of Shinji. He's always like that, so please protect him."

I'm taken aback, but I manage a reply.

That must have sounded funny.

"…You must be a good person. I understand why Shinji is trying to have you on his side."

Rider smiles a bit and returns to the house after saying so.

I descend the hill and return to the intersection.

If I head up to the residential district on the other side, I will be heading home, but―――

"…There's a Master at Ryudou Temple, huh?"

An hour's walk to the mountain.

Taking the mountainside road, one can reach the mountain gate that leads to the Ryudou Temple.

The Ryudou Temple is a large temple up on the mountain, as big as our school.

Its cemetery is large, but more than that, it's a small world made up of fifty practicing monks.

The people of the town are helped by the people of Ryudou Temple, but they also honor it as a sacred place that is not to be visited lightly.

"…Come to think of it, I haven't been to Ryudou Temple recently."

Ever since I went there last summer to stay there as mental training.

The temple's life gets really hard during the winter, so I was thinking about returning there during the winter―――

"Hm? What is someone who boycotted afternoon classes doing here?"

Speaking of the devil, or whatever…

I run into Ryudou Temple's successor, Ryudou Issei.

"Yo. Is school over already?"

"Of course it's over. I'm heading home since I don't have anything to do for the student council, but is something wrong? You seemed to be staring at the mountain."

"No, there wasn't anything wrong. I just felt like going home."

"Heh. The teachers would be out of business if people skipped class just because they feel like it. ―――So, I'm asking why you were looking at the mountain."

"…Well. Issei, it's a small thing, but has there been anything strange going on recently?"

"Well. Change is common, but nothing has drastically changed. The mountain is always peaceful, and peace makes up ordinary days."

"Sorry Issei, I'm being serious here."

"H-How rude! I'm serious too!"

"It looks like it. Then it's good, I guess it was just overanxiety."

"Fine, if you understand. I wouldn't joke with you."

With a cough, Issei calms down.

"…But, hmm… There has been a change, but I wonder…"

"Huh…? A change? In the temple…!?"

"Woman―――does Ryudou Temple have nuns?"

"Yeah. Not the mountain, but the air at our temple is restless. She's apparently an acquaintance of my father, but we've taken in a bothersome guest. It's a problem because she is beautiful.

Geez, why is everyone making so much commotion over one woman?"

"No. This is a special circumstance, and we're letting her use a room until the wedding celebration―――no, but this person is so beautiful that it even captivates me when she's getting water from the well."

"What do you mean 'a special circumstance'… hey Issei? Hey, are you listening to me?"

"Mm, sorry. That is why women are bad.

Reject lust, be calm Issei."

The student council president starts to recite Buddhist scriptures.

…Geez, he's so serious, so he's hard to deal with when he gets like this.

I guess he still didn't hear me as he disappears into the back of the town.

"Heeeey, are you all right Issei?"

"No problem. My training is insufficient, so I wish to purify myself more."

The sun is already setting by the time I reach my house.

I'm home first just like yesterday.

Sakura and Fuji-Nee will be here soon, and Tohsaka should be back too.

"…I'll talk to her about what I heard from Shinji after Sakura and Fuji-Nee go home…"

There's no point in talking about it when those two are here.

That decided, I have to go and prepare dinner.

Tohsaka got me yesterday, and I have to try to put Fuji-Nee in a better mood.

Cooking takes time and effort before love.

If I am to go for a sure win, I will have to spend twice as much time.

―――So.

After all that, what happened is…

"Huumph! What, I didn't lose! Stupid Tohsaka-san! Bully!"

"I'm talking about the taste of the food. Um, it's the best dinner so far according to Fujimura-Sensei, so I'm saying we should share it among everyone."

"… Hmmm… I think she's saying something else.

Tohsaka-san said she didn't want to eat the food Shirou cooked."

"That's only in the mornings. I eat dinner like normal and we take turns cooking dinner, so it is my right to eat.

If you don't like that, please take my place tomorrow."

"Ugh―――that personality that strikes precisely at my weak point. Man, I didn't think you were such a terrible student."

Fuji-Nee reluctantly returns the pot to the table.

And so, the specially prepared rice returns to the table safely.

"…Hold on, Fuji-Nee, I cooked a lot so you don't need to hurry. I made enough for everyone."

Munch, munch.

"T-That's right… but Senpai, isn't this a bit too much?"

Munch, munch.

"Yes. Two casks for four people is obviously too much."

Munch, munch.

"It's not a cask, it's a pot. And it's fine. The rice is today's main dish, so there can be lots of it. If there's any left over, I'll make some riceballs and it'll be lunch for tomorrow."

Munch, munch.

"Oh, can I have some too? I usually don't like fried rice, but this is exceptional. There are lots of things in it. What exactly did you use?"

Munch, munch.

"…Fine! I'll eat it all myself then! You watch!"

"It's basically rice mixed with mushrooms, right? There are lots of details, like the way it's using citrus instead of fried things for its aroma."

Munch, munch.

Fuji-Nee must have given up taking the pot for herself, as she starts to eat really fast.

She empties her bowl quickly and asks for more in no time.

"…Fine, but it won't run out even if you take it slow, Fuji-Nee."

"That's fine! I'm going to eat Shirou's food, so I won't give it to some stranger!"

She snatches away the bowl.

"―――?"

I don't get it.

Sakura is smiling awkwardly, Tohsaka is ignoring Fuji-Nee, and Saber is eating her food.

…I put in a lot of effort to make this, but it might have had the opposite of the desired effect.

The dinner that was supposed to have Tohsaka admit defeat ends loudly because of Fuji-Nee's strange actions.

"Then, see you Senpai."

"Yeah. Fuji-Nee, please take Sakura home safely."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Don't worry."

Stepping lightly, Fuji-Nee holds Sakura's hand.

"What? Shirou, you look like you're wondering about something."

"Of course I'm wondering. Usually, people can't move after eating that much."

"Really? It was tough, but it's fine once you swallow it."

So you should realize the problem is that there's no limit to that, Tiger.

Just as one would expect from a wild tiger. If possible, I don't want it accidentally trespassing into human society.

"Then see you tomorrow. Don't stay up late, you two."

"Yes, good night Senpai."

"Yeah, night Shirou."

I see the two off and return to the living room.

I said I had to talk to them after dinner, so Tohsaka and Saber are waiting in the living room with serious expressions.

"Thanks. ――So what is it that you want to talk about?"

"About the other Masters. There's something I want to tell you guys."

Saber raises her brows a bit.

…As a Servant, she must prefer battles where she uses her sword to these peaceful days.

But her wounds shouldn't have healed yet.

The wound on her chest made by Lancer's "Noble Phantasm" isn't something even Saber can heal quickly.

"―――――"

Thinking about that makes me hesitate telling them about Shinji.

I feel the same way as Shinji.

I want to avoid starting fights, and―――I think the girl in front of me swinging a sword is a disparate image.

"Shirou. You have something to tell us?"

"Uh――yeah. Right, this is something I should tell you guys. …To put it simply, I went and met with Rider's Master today."

"Wha… Rider's Master!? When did this happen!?"

"Ridiculous! Meeting with another Master by yourself, what were you thinking!?"

"Whoa, hold on, calm down…! It's all right. I'm not hurt, so don't get mad."

"Do not get mad!? No, I am not mad.

I am only stunned by your actions."

"…Me too. Well, it's no use arguing over what's done.

So, what's going on Shirou?"

Tohsaka and Saber glare at me with obvious anger in their eyes.

…Geez.

I thought they would say something about me being thoughtless, but I didn't think they would get this mad.

"…I met him this afternoon.

I only went because he wanted to talk to me, and it's not like we fought."

"I can tell by looking. So, what kind of a guy was Rider's Master?"

"What kind of guy… well, it's Shinji.

He called out to me when I was searching for the boundary field. He said he wanted to talk to me and asked me to follow him, so I went to Matou's house."

"Huh―――yeah, well, that's true, but… it can't be true. The Matou family was exhausted in the last generation. No matter what they do, their children won't have a Magic Circuit. That's for certain."

"Wha――Shinji? You mean, that Shinji!?"

"Yeah. Rider was obeying him, and he knew about the Holy Grail War. According to him, the Matou family is a lineage of magi with a history."

Tohsaka declares so.

If so, Shinji and Sakura really should be normal people without Magic Circuits.

"…I see. I messed up. There certainly could be such cases… If they have grimoires remaining, he would be able to become a Master. Then geez, my actions were totally obvious to him! I'm an idiot."

"Yeah, Shinji said that too. But he said they still had the knowledge. Something about it being taught only to Shinji, the eldest son, so Sakura didn't know about it.

…In short, he's a Master rather like me. He said he doesn't have any magical energy, so he wouldn't be detected by your perceptions."

Tohsaka is mumbling, reflecting on her actions.

…Hm. Tohsaka is close to perfect, but I think there are a few things missing.

Unfortunately, they're the most crucial ones.

"That was a mistake on my part. I should have kept an eye on Shinji. If I'd known, I wouldn't have let him construct that boundary field."

"Oh, Shinji said the boundary field at school wasn't his. He said there's another Master at school."

"…No, I'm not that good-natured. As long as Shinji goes to our school, I think there's an even chance it's his doing. The alternative being the unknown Master."

"Yes, that's true. It's obvious that there's another Master at school who we don't know about.

But Shirou… don't tell me you're just trusting Shinji's word that he's not the one who constructed the boundary field?"

"Even, huh? …I think you're still being very good-natured.

Well, that's fine. That good nature is just the way you are, and that must be why Shinji told you his true identity."

"…?"

"Oh well. So what did you talk with Shinji about?"

"He asked me if I wanted to cooperate with him. It seems Shinji has no intention of fighting, so he seemed to want to ally with someone he knew."

"Eh――Shirou, then you…"

"No, isn't it natural to refuse? I've already joined up with you.

Even if I were to agree, I'd have to ask you first."

"Oh… yeah. That… is true. But didn't you say you refused?"

"Yeah. Like I said, I answered Shinji on my own. It wasn't something to debate. …Oh, was I too hasty?"

"…Not particularly. I think your decision was correct. Well, if you were the one asked, it's not something I can complain about."

The way she mumbles so isn't like Tohsaka at all.

"…If you think so, it must be true. But a Servant's true power is determined by their Noble Phantasm. Please do not underestimate her until we find out Rider's true identity."

"That was it from Shinji.

From what I saw, Rider isn't a strong Servant. Even putting Berserker outside of the picture, I don't think she had the same presence as Lancer. And Rider herself was more normal than I expected."

"…Yeah. I couldn't tell at all which heroine she was. See, Lancer and Berserker feel like heroes, right? But Rider didn't have that feeling. I felt like she was different from a normal Servant."

"――Different from a normal Servant?

I do not understand. Rin, can you explain Shirou's strange feeling?"

"Huh…? Uh… yeah, I think I understand.

Well, it's because the Master influences which heroic spirit is summoned as the Servant. The Master and Servant end up being similar people.

"So if the Master is a noble person, a heroic spirit similar to them will be summoned. And if a person with a huge scar in their mind summons a heroic spirit, a heroic spirit with a scar in their mind appears as well.

The strange feeling Shirou had towards Rider must be that.

A Master with a crooked mind sometimes summons vengeful ghosts almost like heroic spirits instead of a hero."

"Vengeful ghost almost like heroic spirits… could that be what you were talking about before――"

"Yes. A mass murderer that loves the sight of blood and thinks nothing of killing people.

Actually, there are heroes with only massacres to their legend, so it's not strange for something like that to become a Servant."

"―――――"

Is that so?

Certainly, I could only smell blood on Rider, but she didn't seem like a blood-thirsty killer….

"…Well, that's all there is to say about Rider.

There's one more thing, but it might be the most important.

According to Rider, there seems to be another Master at the Ryudou Temple. I guess this Master is collecting magical energy from everyone in this town. What do you two make of this?"

"Ryudou Temple…? You mean that temple at the top of the mountain?"

"Yeah. What, does it mean something to you, Tohsaka?"

"Of course not. It's just the opposite. I've never been to the Ryudou Temple.

I don't know what kind of a Master this person is, but normally, you wouldn't choose to position yourself in such a remote place."

"Right. I was also surprised when I heard that a Master's at the Ryudou Temple.

Even though it won't draw people's attention, there are many monks living there. If they act strangely, I think there'd be an quick uproar."

"Hmmm… I can't quite trust that story.

Even if it was the case, the Ryudou Temple is on the outskirts of the suburbs, right?

To reach out to Miyama City and Shinto is more like a waste of magical energy than a great magic. Such large scale magic is impossible even with the magical energy collected from it."

Then, Tohsaka starts to think with a troubled face.

I'm relying on Tohsaka's opinion, so there's nothing I can do until she talks again.

"Did you forget, Shirou? I have participated in the Holy Grail War previously as well. I am well-informed about the city, and I know that the temple is a fallen ley line."

"――No, that story is very plausible.

If one takes that temple, such magic would be naturally possible."

"…? Saber by 'that temple'――you know of Ryudou Temple? I haven't taken you there yet."

"――Fallen ley line!? Hold on, that's what my house is! Why are there two foci of ley lines in one area!?"

"I do not know, but that temple is a place magi can call sacred.

I hear it is where the life of the region flows to, so it would be a perfect base to collect souls from. A magus need only to intervene in the natural flow to collect life forces from the whole city."

"In other words, it's just an area that's spiritually superior, right? That's only natural. You don't build a temple anywhere else."

"…I've never heard of that.

But if that's the case, then it would certainly be possible for someone to steal life forces from all the people in the city…"

"Ugh――o-of course. You don't need to tell me that."

"I thought so. Temples and shrines have been built in sacred places to protect the town since ancient times. It's not that the monks pray to grant happiness. They remove evil by sealing the ill-omened. On that basis, it's only natural that the mountain Ryudou Temple is on would be a sacred place."

"―――!"

"Hey――I don't want to consider this, but did you think that Ryudou Temple was just for show?"

"Yeah, I did, is there something wrong with that!? Until now, I thought that temple was just for show because it didn't have any practicing healers!"

"Practicing healers…? What is that?"

"People who let ghosts go to heaven without using chants, faith, or prayers.

Enlightened people try to do so with just Buddhist powers, but monks without enough training haven't reached that level yet, so they add their own power to create spells like ours.

There's some kind of organization of those kinds of people in this country. But they're incompatible with the Magic Association, so I don't know too much about them.

"No, more importantly, the temple.

If that temple is a ley line, Masters should try to take it immediately. That's strange… why are others ignoring that place?"

"No, Rin, that is wrong. It would certainly be easy for a Master to gain control of that temple. But that mountain has a boundary field that is inconvenient for Masters."

"Because the Ryudou Temple is there, right? They keep watch so it doesn't get misused."

"The monks at the Ryudou Temple are all pure monks in training.

They aren't like us, so it'd be easy for a Master to control them."

"Eliminates anything other than natural spirits――then that means Servants can't enter the mountain!"

"…? A boundary field that's inconvenient for us?"

"Yes. There is a spell on that mountain that tries to eliminate anything other than natural spirits. It has no effect on normal humans, but it is a dreadful place for us Servants."

"It is possible, but our abilities would degrade.

It is much like receiving a Command Spell telling us not to go near that place."

"――Then how is the Master at the Ryudou Temple maintaining its Servant?"

"There is no boundary field once you enter the temple.

I hear that the boundary field was originally a border to protect the temple. The boundary field is only something that rejects people from outside, so it has no other powers."

"…Then if we make it inside, there's nothing that affects the Servant?

"…But that's strange. If you close the temple off like that, the ley line itself would stop. You would have to at least keep one way open or it couldn't be the center of the ley line, right?"

"…I see. That must be it. If you close off all the gates, the air inside will stagnate. Hmm, only the main gate, huh…?"

"Yes. If you think in terms of the temple, it cannot refuse those visiting through the proper entrance. It may be following on this idea, but I heard that the road leading to the temple does not have the boundary field.

At that temple, only the main gate does not have the power to command us Servants."

"That is all that I can tell you.

――So, please come up with a plan. We have proven that there is a Master, so I believe there is only one action to take."

"―――――"

I know what Saber wants to say.

Her eyes tell me that since the location of the enemy is known, all that's left is to attack.

But――――

"I'm going to pass on this.

It seems like a trap, and honestly, I can't take any action with this little information. If you're going to go to their homeground, you should at least wait until you find out what kind of Servant they have."

"…That is unexpected. I thought that you would go and fight."

"Go ahead and insult me. Archer isn't fully healed yet, so I'll remain a spectator for a while."

"I understand. Then Shirou, let us go to the temple by ourselves."

"―――――"

Saber says this as if it is the natural thing to do.

But that's…

#votestaynight #fate #fate stay/night #fate route

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