#idk if i'm just too dumb but if someone can help
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How many TLG Outlander incorrect quotes have I done? Here’s more anyway
Sumu: I know over 200 ways to kill a man
Kuumwa: You could glue an open jar of rats to his face and then blowtorch the other half of the jar so the rats have to eat their way out through his face :)
Sumu: …..201
Alternatively
Kenge: I know over 200 ways to kill a man
Sumu: You could glue an open jar of rats to his face and then blowtorch the other half of the jar so the rats have to eat their way out through his face
Kenge: …..201
Cheezi: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-
Cheezi and Chungu, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!
Goigoi: Our turn, Sumu! One, two, three- vanilla!
Sumu, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.
Mzingo: Looking left cause you don’t treat me right
Janja: Looking right because you left
Reirei: Looking up cause you let me down
Kiburi: Looking down cause you fucked up
Jasiri: What is wrong with you guys
Janja: Hah! 69! You know what that means?
Cheezi: What?
Mzingo: That you're a child.
Chungu: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?
Sumu: Can I be frank with you guys?
Goigoi: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.
Chungu: Can I still be Chungu?
Tamka: Shh, let Frank speak.
Kenge: Why are Shupavu and Njano sitting with their backs to each other?
Sumu: They had a fight.
Kenge: Then why are they holding claws?
Sumu: They get sad when they fight.
Janja: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Chungu: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Cheezi: I got distracted about halfway through.
Nne, as Tano nods: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
(Royal Mjuzi au)
Kiburi: Are we really going to let Nduli keep Mwamba?
Neema: We kept Tamka.
Jasiri: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life
Mzingo: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!
Kiburi: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!
Janja: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Reirei: My moral code, is that you?
Jasiri:
Jasiri: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?
Tamka: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.
Wakali: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
Neema: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Nduli: I joined in on the dumb stuff.
Kiburi: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!
Janja: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Reirei: Janja no.
Kiburi: Mistlefoe.
Reirei: Please stop encouraging him.
Ucheshi: If you had to choose between Makuu and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?
Kiburi: That depends, how much money are we taking about?
Makuu: Kiburi!
Ucheshi: 63 cents.
Kiburi: I'll take the money.
Makuu: KIBURI!!!
Kiburi: I trust Janja.
Reirei: You think he knows what he’s doing?
Kiburi: I wouldn't go that far.
Janja: Don't worry, I got a plan.
Reirei: Alright.
Janja: TraitorSayWhat?
Kiburi: Excuse me?
Janja: What?
Reirei:
Janja:
Janja: No wait-
Goigoi: Reirei, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?
Reirei: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later
Goigoi: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask one of the kids.
Chungu: What if mayonnaise came in cans?
Cheezi: That would suck cuz you can’t microwave metal
Janja: Good morning to everyone except these two furbrains
Ucheshi: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way.
Makuu: I almost died.
Kiburi: That... was my favorite memory.
Reirei: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.
Janja: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.
*Jasiri walks in*
Janja: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.
Janja: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—
Jasiri: Hi.
Janja: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*
Kiburi: I'm not doing too well.
Pua: What's wrong?
Kiburi: I have this headache that comes and goes.
*Makuu enters the room*
Kiburi: There it is again.
*Kenge and Sumu are planning to break in somewhere*
Sumu: We need to distract the guards.
Kenge: Right.
Sumu: What are we gonna do?
Kenge: I'm going to break their elbows while you poke their eyes.
Sumu:
Kenge:
Sumu: Deal.
Human/Zootopia-esque au: trying to use the family/Kiburi’s computer
Dogo: “Password clue: Favorite child”? Oooh, ah, ouch…sorry, sis. This is awkward *types in their name, but gets denied* What?!
Kijana: Really??? *starts dramatically crying tears of joy* This moment is so much bigger than me! I would like to thank my parents and my manager— *gets denied*
OR
Tamka: “Password clue: Best friend”? Oooh, ah, ouch…sorry, man. This is awkward *types in their name, but gets denied* What?!
Nduli: Really??? *starts dramatically crying tears of joy* This moment is so much bigger than me! I would like to thank my parents and my manager— *gets denied* Aw :(
The Outlanders trying to draw Jasiri:
Janja: I think I made one eye bigger than the other
Mzingo: I was going for a feeling
Reirei, with a perfect drawing: Honestly, I can’t even draw a circle
Kiburi: *shows his picture*
Janja: Okay Kiburi, you just drew yourself
Kiburi: I like me
Jasiri: Dammit, Janja!
Janja: What?! It wasn't me!
Jasiri: Sorry, force of habit.
Dammit, Mzingo!
Mzingo: Not me either.
Jasiri: Oh... Then who set the Outlands on fire?
Njano: *whistles*
Janja: We need to get through this locked door. Reirei, give me your credit card.
Reirei: Here.
Janja, pocketing it: Thanks. Kiburi, kick down the door.
*The group is getting into the car*
Janja: I’m driving.
Cheezi, out of view: Shotgun!
Chungu, turning to face Cheezi: Aww! But you had it on the way here-
Everyone except Cheezi: WOAH-
Cheezi, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*
Fuli: What do you think Bunga will do for a distraction?
Kion: He’ll probably make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
*Explosions and several car alarms go off*
Kion:....Or he could do that.
Goigoi: And now it’s time for... WHAT’S. IN. TAMKA’S MOUTH?
Never try this game. Ever
Tamka: Agahhhagg
Nduli: oh oh oh! It’s those napkins from that one chicken wing place!
Tamka: Uh uh
Chungu: Oh! It’s the entire country of China!
Tamka: *spits the thing out* No! It’s a piece of dental cotton!
Cheezi: From five weeks ago?
Tamka: Uh huh!
Cheezi: And now it’s time for Janja’s poetry beat
Janja: Eh, I don’t wanna
Chungu: But it’s your thing!
Janja: No, it’s not!
Cheezi: Yeah, it is. That’s why it’s called “Janja’s”, emphasis on “Janja’s” poetry beat!
Janja: Why don’t one of you do it this time?
Chungu: You don’t like my poetry!
Janja: Sure, I do! Come on
Chungu: Okay.
I sat down on the ground today
Baobab ball I was to play
But instead of rolling north or south
How’d it end up in my mouth?
Janja: You’re right. That sucked
Chungu: Will Shakespeare my butt
Kiburi: (on one line) Hello?
Tamka (on the other line): Hey, what’s up?
Kiburi: I need a little help, can you come over?
Tamka: I can’t. I’m buying clothes
Kiburi: Alright, well hurry up and come over here
Tamka: I can’t find ‘em...
Kiburi: What do you mean you can’t find them?
Tamka: I can’t find them, there’s only soup
Kiburi: ...What do you mean “There’s only soup”
Tamka: It means there’s only soup
Kiburi:Well, then get out of the soup isle!
Tamka: Okay! You don’t have to shout at me! (walks into another isle) There’s more soup
Kiburi: What do you mean there’s more soup?!
Tamka: It means there’s just more soup
Kiburi: Go into the next isle
Tamka: (goes into the next isle) There’s still soup!
Kiburi: WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?!
Tamka: I’M AT SOUP!
Kiburi: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE “AT SOUP”?!?!
Tamka: I MEAN I’M AT SOUP!
Kiburi: WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?!
Tamka: I’M AT THE SOUP STORE!!
Kiburi: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!?!?!
Tamka: FUCK YOU!!!!!
Kenge: I’m not worried about silly things like labels. Animals can call me whatever they want. They could even call me little…..
Kenge: NEVER CALL ME LITTLE!!!!!
(Nduli leans in towards a sleeping Tamka)
Nduli: Tamka..Tamka...Tam-zebra.
Tamka: (wakes up) Gimme the leg! I want the leg!
Makuu and Ucheshi: (staring into each other’s eyes)
Kiburi: (rips the leg off of a kill)
Makuu: We’re having a moment
Kiburi: I’m having a snack
Goigoi: The good news is I named my nickel “Phillip!”
Janja: What’s the bad news?
Goigoi: It’s a girl nickel! :D
Janja: YOU BET ME FOR A NICKEL?!
Cheezi: But it was a shiny nickel!
(Hodari saves Njano’s life)
Njano: Bro... 🥺
Hodari: Bro... 🥺
Kenge: Can you guys stop making out and go get the chimps?!
Neema: [Could I give Tamka a -2?]
Tamka: For what?
Neema: [Just for being you]
Jasiri: You assaulted a 94-year old animal!
Kenge: He sassed me
Mzingo: Ooh, you have some pie! Would you mind if I have a piece?
Janja: Uh, sure. (gives Mzingo a piece of pie)
Mzingo: Can you pass the cool hwhip?
Janja: What’d you say?
Mzingo: You can’t have a pie without cool hwhip!
J Cool hwhip?
M: Cool hwhip, yeah
J: You mean cool whip
M: Yeah, cool hwhip
J: Cool whip
M: Cool hwhip
J: Cool WHip
M: Cool hwhip
J: You’re saying it weird! Why’re you putting so much emphasis on the h?
M: What are you talking about? I’m just saying cool hwhip! You put cool hwhip on pie. Pie tastes better with cool hwhip
J: Say “whip”
M: Whip
J: Now say “cool whip”
M: Cool hwhip
J: Cool WHIP
M: Cool hwhip
J: COOL WHIP
M: Cool hwhip
Janja: YOU’RE EATING FUR!
Actor AU: Deleted scene with Scar and Jasiri
Director: Action!
Scar: Are you saying I’m stupid?
Jasiri: No…
Scar: Do I look. Stupid. To you?
Jasiri: *starts laughing* I’m sorry 😂😂
(Cut to next take)
Scar: Are you saying I’m stupid?
Jasiri: *starts wheezing* I’m sorry! *recomposes herself* I got it. No no, just do it again. I’m fine
(Cut to next take)
Scar: Are you saying I’m stupid?
Jasiri: *pointing* YES! *laughs*
Scar: This is the fifteenth take, I cannot work like this. I will be in my trailer…
Jasiri: I need a break
#damn long post#i have too many quotes that fit them dndbbdgd#a lot of these work in a zootopia/human au#i don’t think the outlanders are okay-#i had to do something with the actor au it was too fun#i don’t talk about mzingo too much so i wanted to include him more#tlg outlanders#the lion guard
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So i guess it's official. My editing days are over since adobe deactivated my ps 🙃 and i didn't even get to make an ace cb edit...
#freaking sad about it but no matter what i do i can't fix it#idk if i'm just too dumb but if someone can help#🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲
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i just feel like if you cant debate someone w/o insulting them then you're kinda just using it as an outlet for all of your asshole-ness
#you shouldnt have assholeness inside you anyways but. if you do you probably grew up thinking its just like. socially normal#instead of idk. trying to get along?? theres no reason you gotta insult ppl esp for things they cant change#it also makes you look lazy in the way u argue#yes yes ik i call ppl dipshits a lot but to me its more of a 'im worried about u/ur wellbeing/ppl around u for u not knowing better'#rather than a:#'hah u idiot loser ur so dumb and im so so much smarter and cooler and faster than you heh' kinda thing that some ppl do 😒😒😒#ig that can be a bit patronizing but id prefer that over someone whos just an immature full-of-themselves asshole tbh#not tryna say its ok bc ppl dont necessarily know i mean it in that way when i say it but yeah. i dont think im the worst about this ill sa#that much and thats not the reason im posting about it. a looooooot of yall on here are waaaaaaaaay worse about it lmao.#i think we should all try to stop doing it. and that doesnt mean me trying harder than yall if anything yall need to try harder than me#oh and uh me telling you What It Is isnt the same as me insulting you. btw. at worst its patronizing when you Do know better#but otherwise im literally just trying to be helpful. even if it is snappy and said pettily sometimes 💁#at least i can rest easy knowing i tried being helpful rather than feeling like a self-proclaimed 'morally superior' egotistical jackass#💁💁💁💁💁#i dont know better! i know what i know and i work off of what i know and help people from where i come from and my own experience#i dont claim to know everything i dont stand on this rock claiming to conquer all that is to be known about it like some of yall do#i dont get on my high horse trying to preach to people abt How They Should Be Or Else They're Irredeemable (And Also I'm Perfect btw)#and if i ever do its for the least serious thing possible and im probably fuckin joking#and ig rn i am kinda doing a 'i do this better than you' thing but again its a#'i do this better than you. you should be able to do it as well as i do too or better. challenge urself to be better' thing rather#than 'haha look at me im so much smarter than you and better than you and more deserving! everybody praise me!!!' thing
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reluctant cupid | lando norris social media au
pairing: lando norris x fem bff!reader
you could set your bestie up with a driver or you could confess your feelings? lando norris is dumb.
based on this request:
Could you write something about being best friends with lando and he tries to help set you up with another driver you have a crush on, but then he realises he actually likes you so he has to sabotage all the wingmanning he’s done and you end up together
Idk if that makes sense 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 -@mbappesleftthigh
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
yourusername
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 49,340 others
yourusername: someone please save me from the grips of hinge and this oh so lonesome life
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user1: girl knows the whole f1 paddock and looks like that and is still alone there is NO HOPE for me
user2: this post might have thrown me over the edge
landonorris: "i'm so lonely" "why don't you approach that guy" "no too scary"
user3: that's so real though
yourusername: thank you!
landonorris: how do you expect to find a boyfriend when you don't like to talk to anyone and treat hinge like a gameshow
yourusername: i didn't come here for actual advice let me commiserate in peace. god, can women have anything these days?
landonorris: ???
yourusername: oh! idea! pretty please set me up with one of your friends? they have to be great otherwise you wouldn't be friends with them, right? RIGHT?
landonorris: i guess...
yourusername: please lando, i've never asked for anything before
landonorris: i can feel you pouting through the phone
yourusername: so you'll consider ?
landonorris: fine...
user4: bro either gotta admit his feelings now or be condemned to be in the plot of a weird romantic comedy
user5: i personally don't think i can wait until the third act break up with this side character LANDO ACT NOW
oscarpiastri: you'd really trust lando's judgement?
yourusername: he's friends with me, he's got good taste?
oscarpiastri: touche
maxverstappen1: whatever you really wanna say oscar, you gotta keep it in, these idiots will figure it out eventually
yourusername: ???
landonorris: ???
user6: the grid are so done with their asses i can't 😭
user7: but what if the universe doesn't intervene and lando really has just lost the girl forever?
user8: bestie we can't be thinking like this
landonorris
liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 812,047 others
tagged: yourusername
landonorris: being back home means being bothered by her (and whatever is her newest hyperfixation - it's sylvanian families this month if you couldn't tell)
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user9: i am so sorry but they are so in love
user10: it's cute in the movies, but these blind bitches are starting to piss me off
yourusername: THEY CAN HEAR YOU, BE A BETTER DAD
landonorris: they're not my children
yourusername: you take that back right now, you LOVE them
landonorris: you spent my money on them yes
yourusername: that's fatherhood, buddy. buckle up
user11: whoever he sets her up (if he's still dumb enough to do that) is gonna be the biggest third wheel in history
user12: who would willingly sign up for that
user13: me. i would. i have two working eyes and have seen y/n
maxverstappen1: who are these funky little critters and how can i procure some for p?
yourusername: finally a man with sense, literally any grocery store or toy store
maxverstappen1: perf
yourusername: if lando stops being mr. grumpy i'll ask him if i can come to a race and p and i can play animal families
landonorris: i am NOT mr. grumpy
maxverstappen1: you kinda are dude. is it the set-up is it stressing you out?
landonorris: nO
yourusername: then why are you putting it off !!! lando i might die from terminal yearning !!!
landonorris: i have an interested candidate
yourusername: really? do you think they'll actually like me? like this isn't a pity date right?
landonorris: nope!
user14: lando is typing through tears as we speak
user15: if y/n does go on a date with someone from the paddock i actually hope it goes well, as one lonely girl to another, it's tough out here we need one win
f1wagupdates
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tagged: yourusername & carlossainz55
f1wagupdates: turns out lando is a bit of a cupid as his childhood friend y/n y/ln was spotted out and about with carlos sainz.
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user20: HE ACTUALLY DID IT
user21: that moment when you're so down bad for a girl that you set her up with your best friend
user22: that moment when you're such a wimp you can't admit your feelings and set up the girl you like with a literal GREEK GOD
user23: i am so bamboozled by this move he literally looked like a kicked puppy on his stream bro this is your doing 😭
user24: she's a lover girl she's going to get her heart broken :(
user25: this has mess written all over it
user26: she's literally described herself as a terminal yearner i feel like she'll throw herself in and will get hurt
user27: UNLESS! this is all part of the plan? what if lando set her up with a messy guy like carlos so he can be the shoulder to cry on and that's how he slides in?
user28: that's very convoluted, very rom-com but i'll take it if it means we get lando and y/n together in the end
user29: i know this probably won't last long but can we all appreciate how hot this couple is?
user30: lando and y/n runs rings round y/n and carlos
user31: lol lando is a bad friend for setting her up with CARLOS him and charles are THEE red flags
user32: i hope y/n is prepared
user33: also lando hasn't thought it fully out if his plan is to be the shoulder to cry on because he's just opening her up to be called a homie hopper or a paddock bunny
carlossainz55
liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 702,554 others
carlossainz55: productive weekend with my girl
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user34: well that's not y/n
user35: that finished faster than i expected
user36: lando DO NOT quit your day job
landonorris: call me bro
carlossainz55: si, cabron
user37: i don't think they'll be cabrons after this call
user38: maybe this is all just going to plan?
user39: yall gotta give up this conspiracy theory maybe these people are just as dumb and mean as they seem to be
user40: soooooo... what did we all do this weeekend?
user41: i broke a girl's heart @carlossainz55 twins 👯♂️
user42: AHHHH???
maxverstappen1: oh that's not-
yourusername: you're so chronically online :(
maxverstappen1: you're alive?
yourusername: yes. coming at you live from the bed i'm currently rotting in
maxverstappen1: not going to say i didn't warn you?
carlossainz55: really? in my own comment section?
yourusername: one second, we're having a conversation here
maxverstappen1: yeah carlos, gosh.
carlossainz55: i'm so confused
user43: okay power move to just start a conversation in his comments?
user44: the power of confusion is simply unmatched
yourusername
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yourusername: certified boy hater
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user45: a ferrari boy will do that to you
landonorris: feeling hashtag victimised rn
yourusername: obviously doesn't include you girlypop. but you seriously need to reevaluate your judgement
landonorris: carlos is attractive?
yourusername: he ghosted me?
carlossainz55: i am right here
yourusername: blocked.
landonorris: did you actually just block him?
yourusername: yes 😀 !
landonorris: god this is a nightmare
yourusername: not if you'd take a GOD DAMN HINT
landonorris: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
user46: yall this is a public instagram comment section
user47: don't say that, this is their argument in the rain moment
user48: lemme grab the popcorn 🍿
maxverstappen1: this better not include the real number one girlypop here
yourusername: of course not pookie
oscarpiastri: you gonna continue the lil spat above this?
yourusername: no?
oscarpiastri: well some people (max and i) would like to listen so please continue
yourusername: no, i don't think i will
oscarpiastri: GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE INSUFFERABLE
maxverstappen1: what oscar said
user49: oscar and max are so real
user50: they can't leave us on this cliff hanger
landonorris
liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,043,788 others
landonorris: some snaps from '23
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user51: have we just been thirst trapped?
user52: i don't think it was intended for us
user53: this has "i am hotter than carlos sainz" written all over it
yourusername: posting tits on main, brave.
landonorris: i came second in singapore.
yourusername: sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. modesty, ever heard of it lan?
landonorris: slutshaming isn't cute y/n
yourusername: you kinda have to pull to be a slut lan. you are under qualified for the position
landonorris: if you keep being mean to me i will call your mum or my mum.
yourusername: try it. i see cisca more than you, i have faith in her
landonorris: the line is busy. are you on the phone to MY mum right now?
yourusername: maybe.
user54: we're so close to them getting their heads out of their asses
user55: don't get my hopes up
danielricciardo: i hope this works lol
landonorris: you don't think i'm sexy?
danielricciardo: it doesn't matter what i think
landonorris: i'm not sexy :(
danielricciardo: you're baiting me but yes, you are sexy.
user56: i'll fight anyone who made this man believe he's not beautiful
liked by yourusername
user57: I SAW THAT 📸
user58: someone just lock them in a cupboard at this point
oscarpiastri: noted.
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 89,034 others
tagged: landonorris
yourusername: yeah, yeah. you can stop yelling at us now.
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user61: LET'S FUCKING GO
user62: it was worth all that yelling. i expect an invite to the wedding now.
user63: wedding? girly they only just realised their feelings after a DECADE
maxverstappen1: it was about fucking time
yourusername: okay miss ma'am. some people are EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE AND NOT VERY GOOD AT PROCESSING THEM
maxverstappen1: you must've been emotionally constipated because this was painful
yourusername: it was painful for me too
maxverstappen1: so painful that you dated CARLOS
yourusername: one date! ONE!
maxverstappen1: carlos said can you unblock him so he can be mean to me?
yourusername: fine.
carlossainz55: STOP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A BAD PERSON. YES I AM NOT THE BEST AT RELATIONSHIPS BUT LEAVE ME BE
maxverstappen1: lol
yourusername: lol
user64: unblocking carlos to hit him with the lol max and y/n might be more iconic than lando and y/n
landonorris: not on our relationship announcement post 🤨
user65: OOP.
landonorris: i love you doofus
yourusername: i love you too muppet
landonorris: how much was the betting pool for your family?
yourusername: it got to over £300
landonorris: ours was £750
yourusername: are we dumb?
landonorris: no!
oscarpiastri: two dumbass girls saying 'yass' to each other
yourusername: LEAVE US BE
landonorris: oscar :(
user66: not their own families betting on when they'd get together 😭
landonorris
liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,430,778 others
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landonorris: first win, hopefully not my only one.
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user67: MY BABIES
user68: i feel like i've been on this journey with them
oscarpiastri: thank god you guys got your shit together, i was THIS close to jumping out the nearest window if i had to watch lando mope around like a kicked puppy when y/n had the lil thing with carlos
user69: so it wasn't some grand plan?
oscarpiastri: no he's just dumb enough to actually set up his first love with his best friend
landonorris: OSCAR!
oscarpiastri: am i wrong?
landonorris: no... but! i got there in the end
oscarpiastri: good thing you're faster on track
user70: the grid being just as done with them as us is killing me
maxfewtrell: finally this unnecessarily long and overly convoluted saga has come to and end, lets never do this again!
landonorris: i'm locked in for life bro no worries
yourusername: awwwwwwwwwwwwww i love you too bubs
maxfewtrell: stop being sappy under my comment
yourusername: you just complained we didn't sort out our shit fast enough and now we're too sappy?
landonorris: STICK TO A STORY BOZO
maxfewtrell: now you're even more ride or die... can we go back?
yourusername: nope!
landonorris: nope!
maxverstappen1: i for one am very happy for you both
yourusername: thank you max !!
landonorris: not so fast, he had the biggest bet on us in the paddock
yourusername: get that bag sis
landonorris: ???
yourusername: we can't fight it anymore, let them have their jokes, we actually have each other now :)
landonorris: yes we do :) xx
user71: golly gosh this is so fucking cute
fin.
note: i hope this is what you were looking for and that you all enjoyed!! i'm just waiting on my tester sticker sheets for my small business @badlydrawnf1cats on here and on instagram, if you wanna give it a follow x tHANK YOU FOR READING MY LOVES X
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 instagram au#f1#f1 social media au#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris insta au#lando norris x you#lando norris instagram edit
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When Someone Flirts with You! | Honkai Star Rail
Someone saw this coming and I'm very proud of you for figuring it out. Yeah, I've been getting into star rail and I thought I'd just write since I can't really think of genshin things to write right now lol this is barely edited, so have mercy <3
idk tags rn so please help me out :')
✧ Includes: Dan Heng, Welt, Sampo, Gepard, Jing Yuan, Luocha, Blade
✧ Extra: Luocha and Blade might be ooc, I'm not too familiar with them as of right now.
✧ Come one, come all! See what happens when someone flirts with you in front of your men!
Dan Heng
Dan Heng is a really private person, he’s not a fan of showing off everything. So he’s not one to flaunt you around, but it’s not hard to tell you’re both in a relationship. He’s around you like… all the time.
He’s not one to follow around like a helicopter boyfriend, but he’s got an eye on you. If he sees someone bothering you, he’s behind them in an instant.
0/10. Dan Heng’s not super scary so they could ignore him and continue flirting with you. For a moment, he’ll just stand there as he listens to some of the dumb things they’re gonna say. You two make fun of them later for it. But then he hears something along the lines of, “come on, i’ll treat you better.” he don’t like that.
How is this creep better than him?! They couldn’t even tell you were uncomfortable. Dan Heng will usually place a hand on their shoulder and his grip gets tighter every second the creep is still in front of you. Paired with his glare…
10/10 the creep is gone. You sigh in relief and walk to Dan Heng quietly, wrapping your arms around his waist. He immediately hugs back, stroking your hair a little.
“Let’s go somewhere else. I don’t like it here anymore.” You agreed.
Welt
Well, he doesn’t hang around you 24/7, he’s a busy man. But it’s also not hard to tell you’re dating either. Welt isn’t crazy about PDA, but he’ll give you a quick kiss every now and then and often gives you hugs (per your request).
He believes you’re capable of taking care of yourself, so he’s often not paying attention. That doesn’t mean he won’t look over at you every now and then. This time, he just happened to see some creepy creep trying to creep up on you.
“Are you ok, (y/n)?” Is the first thing he asks when he walks up to you. He will literally ignore the existence of the creep beside him. Usually what happens here is that you’ll nod and he’ll “accidentally” shove the creepy away and urge you to come talk with him and his friends. The creep is usually so confused they walk away. But sometimes- sometimes- they follow.
Welt does NOT like that. I mean it was one thing to not take the hint from your face, but then to stop you when you’re actively trying to leave?
Welt will turn around and just glare at them. Like that silent, “I will kill you” kinda glare. It’s a staring contest for a moment before the creepy creep just kinda turns away and leaves. Sometimes, Welt does have to smack them with his lil cane. Sometimes.
“Anyway, we’re over here. Would you like a drink?”
Sampo
Sampo is all over you, usually. He loves you and the world should know? Sometimes, he can go too far so just let him know. Anyway, since he’s always over you, people know you’re dating him.
Usually at parties and events, he’s hanging off your arm, but sometimes he’s gotta go talk to some of his other friends and acquaintances. He keeps an eye on you.
Here’s the thing, he’ll come up and flirt with you too but try to one up the creep. “You look fine, darling,” - the creep. “You look so beautiful, every star in the sky and the moons pale in comparison.” - Sampo.
0/10. Of course, the creep gets irritated and asks what the hell Sampo is doing. Sampo just gives him a condescending smile and says, “that’s my partner you’re talking to. I’m not gonna let you just creep up on them.” There’s… a glint in his eyes that’s unnerving. Even you can see it.
69/10. The creep runs off, making some excuse or whatever. Sampo watches them for a minute before turning to you and smiling. You rush to give him a hug and he happily returns it.
“Wanna go home? Seems like that idiot trashed your mood a little.”
Gepard
Gepard is a very shy guy and he’s not one to be all touchy-touchy without you doing it first. He gets all flustered and looks away… but he’ll lean into your touch.
He usually sticks around you, keeping your attention so no creepies come by, but sometimes he gets pulled away. He always lets you know he’ll be right back and leaves for just a few moments. Enough for a creepy to sneak in >:0
When Gepard notices the creep, he wastes no time walking over to you. “Is everything ok?” He asked, looking at you. If you shook your head, that was it. The captain of the silvermane’s came out!
The first glare is usually a 50/50. Sometimes, the creeps acted all annoyed and walk away, pretending they’re not scared but other times… they challenge him. Gepard just places a hand on their shoulder and shoves them back. It’s actually surprisingly strong- they’ll fall over sometimes.
10/10, that usually sends them running. On rare occasions there’s that ONE creepy who just stands up and tries to take him on lmao. You know to take a step back because Gepard kinda skips the arresting and just goes to ass kicking. And he’s the shy boyfriend.
“So… we should go now. Yeah, no, just leave the creep there.”
Jing Yuan
Jing Yuan isn't the most affectionate boyfriend, but he doesn’t mind letting people know you two are together. Depends on your comfort level.
He’s a busy man, so at that fancy event, he can’t always be at your side but he tries to keep you by him. Of course, you decided to go get a drink, he happily agreed. You went off and he kept greeting more officials. You didn’t return, so he looked over and he just saw you turning away from a creep who just grabbed your arm!
Jing Yuan elegantly excuses himself and basically sneaks up behind the guy. He’ll stand there which brings you tons of relief, enough to let the creep ramble and ramble and ramble. “I could take you out to dinner, (nickname you don’t like). I’ll buy you (food you don’t like).” “Actually, they don’t like that. And they don’t like being called that.” The creep jumps away and is standing beside you at that point.
5/10, honestly, some just get scared and leave. There’s the other half though that just kinda scoff and look at you. Before they can even say anything, Jing Yuan grabs them by the shirt and force them to look at him. “Do not speak to them like that. Do not look at them, and don’t even think about them. You leave now or I’ll drag you out myself.”
10/10!!!!!!!!! They are GONE. No sign of them for MILES. Jing Yuan huffs and looks down at you. At this point, everyone’s looking at you two, making you extremely uncomfortable. He’ll stand beside you and pull you close, using that half of his jacket thing to cover you.
“We can leave. I’ll deal with everything else later. Come on.”
Luocha
This man is unpredictable. Sometimes, he’s grabbing your hand to prove your dating, others are just a straight kiss. You don’t mind. Either way, the world knows you two are together.
Luocha doesn’t mind leaving you alone, he’s got confidence in himself and you. That doesn’t mean he’s not there as your backup. Creeps creep on a daily- he’s gotchu. He sees the creep and he’s already walking toward you.
“No!” You exclaimed with a frown, “I'm not interested. Leave me alone.” Luocha didn’t mind scaring the creep off… but it was when they grabbed you that kinda set him off. “Hey.” Is all he says as he grabs their wrist to shove their hand away. 3/10. SOMETIMES people do get scared off by his demeanor. But there’s always that one. Our favorite.
For those guys, he’ll just get physical. There’s just this switch that goes off when it comes to you. 10/10. They’re either gone or out like a light.
“Come, we should go somewhere else.”
Blade
Lol. First of all, people know you’re dating this dude because you’re still alive while hanging off his arm. He’s not affectionate in public other than some sweet words. “You look nice today.” “I think you did well.” Things like that.
Blade can… be a helicopter boyfriend because he just has a 6th sense for creepies. You can be doing your own thing and he’s just standing there. Menacingly. There are days where he’s away from you, but he keeps a sharp eye on you. Then he notices the creep.
“Go away.” You say with a huff as you turn away. “Stop!” You yell, trying to pull your hand away. Suddenly, the creep is silent and frozen. You probably know exactly what happened.
You feel your arm come loose and look behind you to see Blade pointing… well his blade at the creep. He doesn’t say anything and the creep can’t help but just feel the icy fear in their veins. 10/10, Blade doesn’t fail.
“Thank you.” You say with a sigh as you run and hug his arm, looking up at him. Blade sighs and looks down at you, feeling that relief in his chest knowing that you’re fine and right beside him where you should be.
“It’s because you look cute today. Let’s go somewhere else.”
#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#dan heng x reader#jing yuan x reader#blade x reader#sampo x reader#welt x reader#luocha x reader#gepard x reader#honkai star rail x gender neutral reader
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PLS PLS CAN YOU DO THAT CHAT THING WITH KAISER, NESS, SAE AND NAGI WHERE READER TEXTS THEM SAYING “your face is so pretty I just wanna sit on it” AND THEIR REACTIONS😍😍
author note: Idk how to use fake sms app so I went for an ol' classic gif reaction.
Michael Kaiser:
-What is he looking at? At his reflex on the mirror obviously.
-A laughter starts to blossom from his chest, already pushed out like a proud rooster.
-He slicks his hair back, blue eyes shining with joy. Michael licks his teeth, perfect as he is. Damn, anybody would like to sit on his face; he is so fucking handsome.
-He picks his phone up ready to message you something along the lines of "C'mere. I'll give you the ride of your life." Michael smirks, proud of coming up with such a hot line(it isn't).
-But the message you sent got deleted.
-His eyes bulge out almost cartoon style. Did he dream about it? Was the message from someone else? Michael checks the other chats, but nobody messaged him.
-He doesn't want to message you about that, he isn't desperate! But a voice in the back of Michael's mind screams at him.
-"?" He sends back. "Did you need something?"
"No, Michael. Thanks for worrying." You reply immediately.
-His heart picks a worryingly fast beat. You replied way too fast. A lightbulb turn on in his head, but the idea he comes up with is pretty risky. Michael feels blood running to his ears when he finally presses send.
-"If you are free wanna come over? I need help choosing the new bed covers."
Alexis Ness:
-He is mind-numbing happy. After all, it is a pretty nice compliment to read from his crush.
-If Alexis had a tail it would be wagging left and right now. A dumb smile is plastered on his face while he keeps looking at his phone.
-"What are you looking at, Ness?" It's Michael's voice calling him back to work, mildly annoyed that the other boy's attention wasn't fully on him.
"Oh- It's nothing, Kaiser! Let's go back to training." Alexis hides his cell phone under the last layer of his gym bag. Michael doesn't dig further for once.
-When Alexis opens his phone back the sun already left his place for the moon. He obviously forgot about your message 'till he reads the new ones.
"Have I crossed any boundary, Alexis? I'm sorry if it happened."
"Please I don't want our friendship to be ruined by this."
His heart sunk to his ass and climbed back into his throat in a matter of seconds.
-Alexis calls you, clearly worried. You pick up fast for Alexis' heart health.
"I'm so sorry I didn't reply sooner! I had practice and I had to go then-" he keeps blabbering "I'll do anything for your forgiveness."
"…Anything Alexis?"
"Yes."
"I wasn't joking when I sent you that message…my or your place?"
"Yours. It will be my pleasure." He says, voice finally calm.
-He wasn't joking.
Sae Itoshi:
-"I must have forgotten the part where I asked your opinion."
-HE IS RUDE.
-Sae knows it is a joke. A stupid one to try to tease him. He may not be the brightest mind, but he understands what you are trying to do.
-He goes back to training like nothing happened. Then he showers and all of sudden Sae has the urge to add another line to the previous message he sent.
-Meanwhile, you replied with a ton of sad emojis and other dumb blabbering Sae's mind doesn't even register.
-"Anyway I prefer to eat it from the back."
Sae smiles thinking he has just sent the king of the comebacks, an earth-shattering line. Soon he gets a reply, that makes his smile drop.
"I must have forgotten the part where I asked about your opinion."
-Maybe you are really made for each other.
Seishiro Nagi:
-What a nice message to receive. Not.
-You are hundreds of kilometres of distance what is supposed to happen? Honestly thinking is tiring him out.
-Seishiri sends you the thumb-up emoji and throws his phone somewhere on his bed, pc already turned on to play the newest game.
-But now a worm dug a hole in his head, making Seishiro thinks about the message and not at his ranking flopping; such a noob behavior.
-He thinks about your soft thighs pressing his ears, your warmth enveloping his face…
-Seishiro facepalms, fingers messaging his temples before brushing away some of his snow white hair strands away from his forehead.
-He doesn't even notice he already dialed your number.
-"Talk dirty."
"What? Muddy pants? Sweaty shirts?"
"Don't play dumb. It's all your fault if I can't concentrate now. And don't let me explain, it's bothersome."
You chuckle at the other end. He can feel the mirth in your voice.
"Sorry angel. You'll have to work if you want the prize."
-He groans in annoyance, head thrown back.
-It seems like Seishiro will have to break his "5 days doing nothing useful" streak.
#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#bllk headcanons#blue lock headcanons#bllk imagines#blue lock imagines#michael kaiser#michael kaiser x reader#alexis ness#alexis ness x reader#sae itoshi#sae itoshi x reader#sae x reader#nagi seishiro#nagi seishiro x reader#nagi x reader
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Will you be mine?
Summary: your crush is starting to become something more
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader
Word count: 6.3k
A/N: This took for-fucking-ever, I'm sorry. I had a 5 month writers block
Warnings: Minors DNI!! If I find out you read this, I'm calling your mom. Lots of making out, dumb sex jokes, first time, smut, oral, piv sex, virgin!Eddie idk if I missed something lemme know. Also reader can honestly be read as plus size. I try to be inclusive.
Pt.1
When Eddie truly saw you for the first time, you were actually giving Dustin directions to the theater department, already late to swim practice, but you nodded along to his excited ramblings about joining Hellfire. You wished all three freshmen good luck and when you passed by Eddie, you smiled. Not even a half-assed, polite smile, but a full one. It’s so out of the ordinary for him that he just gawkes at you with wide eyes until your smile falters a fraction, and you move on.
It’s been two years since you’ve moved into town, so he’s seen you around school before, but it’s the closest your worlds came to colliding, and in response to that, you smiled. Most people turned their noses up at the sight of him but the harder he thought about it, you never did. Not in two whole years. Even when his hair went through a terrible awkward phase.
It set his curiosity in motion, unintentionally looking for you any chance he got. It was easiest in class, stuck in the back by choice, but that meant no one was looking at him looking at you. You sat with your friends any chance you got, devoted yourself to them, but anytime they made a snide comment, he saw you withdraw just the slightest bit, eyes drifting and frown deepening. Eddie never liked it when you frowned. In fact, anytime he could tell you were having a bad day, eyes burning with tears, he’d act like a fool in class. At first, you remained nonchalant, eyes drifting like they did with your friends, but the first time he got you to laugh, his heart felt too big for his chest.
“Again?” Gareth teased when he caught Eddie drooling over you instead of the worksheet in front of him that only displayed the addition of his crooked name and nothing else.
“I think I like her, man.” Eddie tries to keep his voice low. If anyone caught wind that he liked someone so high on the social ladder, he’d be eaten alive. The teasing over his hobbies he could take, but getting his heart caught on his sleeve and then stomped on made him nervous.
“You should just ask her out.” Gareth says it so nonchalantly that Eddie can’t help but scoff.
“She’s friends with Christina Whitlock, wannabe cheerleader. She’s worse than Carver and his goons. I’m not going to put myself on the chopping block willingly.”
“It’s either you ask her out or suffer in silence.”
Eddie looks at you sitting in the front of the classroom, smiling at something you’ve been told, and his heart sinks a little.
Then everything shifted after you sat next to him in English that day your friends seemed to be making fun of him about something. At first he thought you did it because you felt guilty, but when you seemed genuinely curious about his tattoos, he let his guard down. Which seemed to backfire pretty quickly. He had to endure hearing you say you didn’t like him, not once, but twice.
When he had lost all hope, you invited him to the pool. He almost didn't go, fully expecting you to turn him down politely, explaining that you were only being nice out of obligation, but none of that happened. When you had expressed your shared feelings for Eddie, he felt unadulterated joy. That was until he kissed you, and it seeped out of his skin, unable to be contained any further. Now, he got to walk hand in hand with you down the halls of the school, giving each other knowing looks when Tina stared the two of you down like she couldn’t believe you would have the audacity to hold hands.
You always initiated the pda, and he shook off the nerves just to feel the soft skin of your palm against his. He kissed you in private, not wanting any chance of a moment ruined. But you can’t seem to get any privacy for anything more than making out. You’ve come close to the idea of more but that’s all it seems to be. An idea. It’s a lot of getting interrupted in your bed, Eddie’s hand just having slid underneath your underwear and one of you freezing at the sound of the front door. You always proceed to hiss out ‘shit. Someone’s home,’ before the two of you scramble to get decent and when, nine times out of ten, your mother checks on you, you pretend to be studying.
Despite his -albeit joking- begging, you refuse the idea to do it in his van.
“I’m a bit of a romantic,” you argue. “So I don’t want our first time to be in the back of your smelly van.”
“Okay, it won’t be there.” He promises, bringing your knuckles to his lips. “It’ll be up front.”
You shove him off of you as he laughs maniacally, now beside you on your bed. Taking your childhood stuffed rabbit, you whack him in the shoulder playfully, and he catches it quickly.
“How dare you use miss hoppity as a weapon!” He teases further.
“Oh, you’re in for it now, Munson.”
He screams dramatically when you roll over on him and attack his neck in rapid kisses, making him uncontrollably giggle. He had warned you he was ticklish in some parts, and you quickly learned where for your own personal enjoyment.
“Uncle! Uncle!” He gasps out between bouts of laughter, even though he loved the feeling of your plush lips against his neck. His beautiful neck that left your mouth watering and legs clenching at the sheer thickness of it. Just more space to place kisses. There’s a moment when he’s calming and you’ve placed both hands on his stomach, neither worrying about your mother coming to check up on the commotion you just caused. You feel him harden underneath you, just like every time you get pulled onto his lap. He can’t help it. The way your legs spread just for him, and how your shoulders relax with ease gets him going.
“What?” You whisper when he just continues to stare like you’ve told him he’s won the lottery.
“I haven’t taken you on a proper date, have I?” As he asks, his smile turns downward at the sudden realization.
“No, but I don’t mind.” You trace a finger from the back of his jaw to his chin and give a little pinch. “I like this time together. Just us.”
“Well, I’d be a terrible–” the words get caught in his throat as he almost says the big word. Boyfriend. Neither of you had broached the subject, and maybe that’s why he’s brought up the fact that he hasn’t taken you out. Whatever this relationship was, he was afraid he was going about everything in the wrong way. He should have taken you out before even kissing you, if any romantic driven book he’s read has told him. “-guy if I didn’t.”
“Okay,” you ignore his fumble, bumping your nose into his. “Take me out then.” You flatten your chest to him to feel the rumble of his victorious laughter, but then you remember where you are, and your bedroom door is open fully. “We need to get up before the guard does her rounds.”
You untangle yourself from him, giggling as he has to adjust himself if your mom actually does make an appearance.
“This Friday, sweetheart. I’m picking you up at seven o’clock, sharp.”
“I look forward to it.”
***
Eddie says he would still rather not be seen at any school event, but he shows up to your swim practice, fulfilling his promise of being in the closest spot on the bleachers as he’s allowed. He drives you home from every practice, bragging about you to you. It’s selfishly endearing listening to the way he talks about how proud he is of you for how talented you are. The rest of the girls on the team didn’t understand his insistence on catching at least the last ten minutes. Usually he would be meeting with hellfire, but he would try and make it just to cheer you on, even if he was explicitly told not to by your coach.
“He was here again today.” you hear Christina whisper to one of the girls. “I’m starting to think it’s not just for Y/N.”
“What do you mean?” She asks innocently.
“I mean… it’s kinda pervy, right?”
“Ugh, totally.” Another agrees.
A chill runs down your spine at the idea of that rumor spreading. Something in you snaps as you slam your locker door shut before turning to see their shocked faces.
“Eddie is a gentleman,” you glare at Tina. “I don’t care that you all think I’m a freak too, now that I’m dating him, but you need to remember I’m co-captain. Keep his name out of your mouth, and if I hear any sort of disrespect about him, you’re doing drills until you puke.”
“You’re only co-captain because you’re the coach's niece.” Christina crosses her arms defensively.
“The only reason I’m not captain is because of nepotism. He didn’t want you whining all the time, but I work my ass off harder than anyone in this room. You could stand to be a little more humble, Tina, considering how slow you were today.” Your hands shake as everyone looks back and forth between you and Christina like they’re at a tennis match, just waiting for a full on cat fight to break out. “So, do you understand me?”
The locker room is silent as you stare down Christina, challenging her to retort back, but she actually looks flustered and nods. It has the others nodding along in a chorus of agreement. There’s no more chit chat as the girls rush to finish getting dressed. You’re one of the first few to leave, leftover anger and adrenaline making you stomp on your way out. That is until you see Eddie and feel your whole body relax.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he says his usual greeting.
Sudden tears burn your eyes as you rush forward to tackle him in a hug, causing him to stumble backwards a couple of steps. He chuckles, arm coming around your middle as he assumes you’re just that excited to see him. A sniffle gives you away immediately.
“Hey,” he says softly, pulling away to look at you. His eyebrows draw together in concern as he looks you over, hands on either side of your face to inspect closely. “Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah, yes, I just-“ you wipe your nose with your sleeve, feeling yourself get small. It’s the first time he’s seen you cry, and you don’t want to make him worry about why. “It’s stupid. Can you just take me home?”
“You can tell me.” His thumb moves back and forth over your cheek.
“Eds,” you let out a wet laugh. “I’m fine.” To prove this, you give him a kiss. “Let’s just get out of here.”
“Alright,” he eyes you warily, and even the door to the locker room, but wraps an arm around your shoulder to walk out with you.
You’re sour for the rest of the week, not even indulging in teasing Tina about your relationship publicly. Eddie knows you’re in a mood, but he has no idea why. He tries everything he can think of; jokes, the little kisses on your collar bones that make you smile, and more jokes, but you just seem lost in your own world. For a moment, he worries you’re tired of him already and the pressure of being seen with him has become too overwhelming, and for his own sanity, he does some digging.
It takes bribing four different people. One offer to deal at a party sends him to Andrew Rickman, who gets some weed for a huge discount, to send Eddie to his girlfriend, Jessica Armstrong who finally sends him to Janice Freedman and a promise to pass along her phone number to Gareth, and he’s sure he’s figured it out.
On Friday’s you swim on your own. Eddie knows to leave you be for an hour before entering the pool house to catch you just as you’re towel drying your hair. He doesn’t like wandering the halls to risk getting yelled at, so he waits in his van, blasting music while smoking a joint.
“Have a good swim?” His arms wrap around your waist from behind, the smell of chlorine invading his nose.
“Mmhm,” you hum, melting into his hold. You had pushed yourself to relieve the frustration because you didn’t want to ruin Eddie’s date plan.
“Just ‘mmhm?’” He copied your tone, slowly placing kisses along your shoulder, and up toward your neck.
“You know you’re not supposed to be in here.” You remind him, voice stern, but he knows there isn’t any anger behind it.
“Got away with it last time didn’t I?” He spins you around by your hips, making you wonder what’s suddenly gotten him in this mood. Eddie captures your lips, pulling your body flush against his, and tips your head back to deepen the kiss. It leaves you breathless immediately with how desperate it feels.
“Eddie,” you sigh when he breaks it to move to your neck once more. His ring covered hand slides up your side, cupping your breast and giving a squeeze. It’s a shame he didn’t show up sooner or he could’ve done this when you were wearing nothing but a towel. “Seriously? Here?”
“No,” he snorts, trying to behave. “I’m a gentleman.”
“Not with that poking me in the thigh.”
Before he gets the chance to laugh, someone is clearing their throat, making the two of you jump apart. Tina looks to the side, looking more than embarrassed by the obvious bulge in Eddie’s pants, and your kiss stained lips.
“T-Tina,” you step in front of Eddie for his sake. “What, uh, what are you doing here?”
“I signed up for extra practice time.” For the first time, Tina seems small, almost afraid to admit she needed the extra time in the water. “Guys aren’t allowed in the girls locker room, Munson.”
“I’ll wait outside.” Stiffly, he leans forward to give you a quick kiss on the cheek from behind before rushing out.
“Sorry,” you apologize before she can berate you for it. “I thought we were alone.”
And strange enough, she doesn’t.
“I used to sign up for the latest slot so Declan and I could be alone when we first started dating.” She opens up her locker in search of her suit. “Just don’t go making a habit of it. Coach nearly tore my head off. Can’t imagine what he’d do to his niece.”
“Right,” you laugh sheepishly, but catch a glimpse of the Tina you became friends with two years ago. “Thanks.”
“Don’t thank me yet.” She hardens once again. “You’re doing drills for getting caught.”
You sigh. Tough Tina was back.
“Aye aye captain.”
After you rush out, tail between your legs, you smack Eddie in the shoulder with the sleeve of your hoodie. He flinched back like it hurt, but the smile completely gave him away.
“You dingus!” You try to keep your voice down, but the shrill tone still echoes around the building.
“Ow!” He laughs more than he does whine. “I can’t appreciate you for sticking up for me?”
“What?” You stop winding up for another smack.
“I heard what you did for me.” He wraps an arm around your back, pulling you close so he has to speak quietly. “No one’s ever stuck for me like that before.”
“Well, I- I was just being honest…” your cheeks burn at the way he looks down at you, one corner of his lips tugging up.
“Mm, well, I find your honesty extremely hot.”
“We can not get caught by Tina again.” As much as you wanted to reciprocate his appreciation, you weren’t looking forward to extra punishment for making her endure another shared kiss between you and eddie. “You need to take me home so I can get ready for our date.”
“What’re you gonna wear?”
“Only if you tell me where we’re going but it’s—“
“A surprise,” he finishes for you.
***
Eddie shows up at your door on time for once. He isn’t allowed to pick you up for school, or else you’d be chronically late for first period. He had told you to dress casual, but you can’t help but grab your short tan pleated skirt to match your white shirt with extended shoulders and a jean fabric vest. (A jest if you will). To top it all off, you wear your favorite beat up sneakers and ankle socks scrunched down. When you hear the knock, your heart skips a beat and you take down the hall, shouting at your parents that you’ll get the door. Your dad beats you to it on purpose, but he’s already met Eddie. They were uncertain at first, but Eddie was polite and followed your house rules. To an extent. It was all a front, and you knew it killed him just a little, but he also knew if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to date you.
He takes you to a local restaurant, nothing fancy, but also not cheap. you love it either way. It never really mattered what the two of you did together, as long as you were doing it together. He’s a bit quiet as you eat, eyes scanning the room, but after you get him to loosen up, he acts like he owns the place. He leans back in his seat, arm thrown over the back as he heavily flirts with you, not even wondering if the other patrons are staring or not.
“Sorry,” Eddie mumbles while fumbling with the crumbled bills when he pays. You know he doesn’t have a traditional job, selling drugs to help his uncle with expenses, and it makes you wonder how much extra he had to sell just to take you here. There’s a pause as he calculates if there’s enough for a tip before slapping the money down and smiling at you to wave off your worry.
“Eddie?” You gently take his hand after he’s pulled out of the parking lot. “Did you- you know you didn’t have to take me somewhere that nice, right? I would’ve been fine if you made me, like, chef boyardee at your trailer.”
“I gotta make my girl feel special sometimes, right?” He flashes you that confident smile and brings your hand up to place a kiss on your knuckles. There’s a tug in your stomach when he calls you ‘my girl’ and you bite your bottom lip to stave off your sheepish grin. “Plus, the night’s not over yet. I got one more thing for you.”
You aren’t sure what to expect, but when he pulls up in front of his trailer, you feel a bit of a relief. Not because you don’t like being out in public with Eddie, you do, but you constantly worry about someone making a rude comment his way and upsetting him. In the time you’ve known him, though, the insults seem to roll off his back pretty easily, and you’re unsure how he does it. Every insult repeats in your mind for hours after.
“Give me five minutes.” Eddie leans over to give you a quick kiss on the lips.
“What, gotta hide all your cum socks before I go in?”
“I’ve got some class.” Eddie’s breath tickles your lips as he doesn’t lean back just yet. “I washed them yesterday.”
As he gets out of the van, you laugh to yourself, even when he’s unlocking the door and disappearing inside. You stay inside the vehicle, only unbuckling your seatbelt and glance outside the window. The openness of the area combined with how dark it is leaves you a little unsettled. It’s eerily quiet, and you can tell even with the windows rolled up. A lone cricket and distant barking seems to be the only noise going on around. Turning by your torso, you see there isn’t much to the back of his van, bits of carpet pulling up here and there along the seams, a guitar case covered in stickers similar to what’s on his jackets, and ashtrays with cigarette butts and half smoked joints. There’s a rug thrown in the middle, probably to cover a stain or his attempt to class things up. A sharp knock startled you out of observing the burnt orange and red curves and sharp corners.
“You okay there?” Eddie teases after opening the passenger door for you.
“It’s scary as shit out here.” You take his outstretched hand and hop out of the van. “It’s way too quiet.”
“Let me lead you to safety, princess.”
Inside, the trailer is lit by the dim lamp in the corner of the living area, but mostly by the scattered candles along random surfaces leading toward his bedroom. The low lighting flickers off the reflection in the mugs lined along the shelves, and shadows dancing along the walls. Eddie leads you down the short hallway before you can even comment on his romantic decor. You’ve gotten a peek of his bedroom in past visits, but the two of you usually would hang out on the couch, so you know he’s tidied it up for you. There’s still plenty of clutter along his dresser and desk, but his floor is clean from any clothes or trash strewn about.
He stops you at the end of his bed, your calves brushing against the sheets hanging over the side. Slowly, he brings up your hand to place a kiss on the back of your palm, causing you to shudder. A smile grows on his face and you can see it despite your hand being in the way. He lets go to drag the vest off of your shoulders and when it registers in your mind that he wants it off, you move with him, his face getting close to yours when he has to help your fumbling hands through the holes. You’ve been kissed by him a dozen times but when he dips his chin up to connect your lips, your skin burns in a want you’ve never felt before, as if he’s kissing you for the first time. You both move in sync, dipping down onto the bed, and not breaking contact until he’s hovering over you, delight making his features glow, but you can see the small bit of insecurity in his eyes while he seems to gather up his nerves.
“Will you be mine?” It’s quiet, intimate, barely above a whisper, but leaves his voice graveling deep enough to send a jolt up your spine. “My girl? Each second with you…” he trails off, shaking his head as his lips split into a grin. “It’s a piece of gold, sweetheart. I want you to be mine.”
“I-“ you huff out a laugh, his bangs moving with the small gust of air. “I thought I already was. Have been since you kissed me.”
If his grin could get any bigger, it just did, and his body relaxes, his weight heavier on top of you. The next kiss he gives you is all teeth and tongue, before he calms and kisses you proper. Kisses you like you’ve never been kissed before, his lips and the gentle swipe of his tongue erasing all the others that came before. Your giggle is muffled into his mouth, trying to pull him closer than he already was, but there wasn’t any room left. If you could find it within yourself to let go of his shirt, he could be pressed firmly against you, but then you would just want his shirt off, skin to skin, only for that to still not be enough.
A small moan from you escapes into his mouth when he grinds his hips down into yours, butterflies erupting in your stomach as he does so. His large hands slide up your hips, your shirt coming up with them, and up your ribs until he’s exposed your chest. You hadn’t even bothered with a bra, not entirely expecting the night to go this far. His eyes widen at the surprise, and his cheeks go pink like he’s never had the pleasure of being inches from any pair of tits. Especially a pair like yours, beautiful and on display just for him. His mouth wraps around your right nipple, his teeth sinking into the perked up flesh, and a pained squeak falls past your lips, the sharp sting only working you up more. As an apology, he releases your nipple to swipe his tongue over it in circles, while his other hand cups your other breast, giving it a perfect squeeze. His lips move down, alternating between kisses and biting the soft flesh of your stomach until he’s positioned between your thighs. Looking up, as if asking permission, to which you nod vigorously in agreement, his hands wrap around your legs to rest them on the top of your thighs, fingers digging into the meat as he kisses the inside of your thighs. You can’t help but squirm when he pushes up the fabric of your skirt with his left hand, the one with all the chunky rings, and leaves it there to rest and places one single kiss on your clothed pussy.
A broken whimper from you gets him into motion, removing his hand from the thigh for a brief moment, moving your panties to the side and licking up you slowly. Eager, he burrows down, his tongue swirling around your clit, nose pressed against your pubic bone, not minding the scratch of the coarse hair. In desperation to hold onto something to steady your uncontrollable squirming and maybe to just find a grip of reality while your mind floats into a high, your hand falls on his that kneads the flesh of your stomach. The lumpy metal digs into your palm, the pain bringing you further back to reality. His mouth, his hands, his heat leaves you for a moment, looking up to the panting mess that you are, and you whine at the lack of touch. One by one, Eddie removes the large jewelry while maintaining eye contact and tosses them to the side before slowly laying back down on his stomach. Slowly his eyes land on your drenched pussy, and you’d feel uncomfortable if it weren’t for the hunger in his eyes.
“Wait,” you breathe out. Removing the spare scrunchie from your wrist, you sit up to gather all of his hair quickly, apologizing when your fingers get tangled in the curls, and put it all into a messy bun. You don’t even get to soak up the image of his hair being held by something of yours before he’s gently laying you back down, and his mouth returns to his previous work.
His heavy hands hold your already trembling thighs apart. A hesitant finger hovers near your wet entrance, sliding in slowly. You sigh in relief until he experimentally strokes your core, breath caught in your throat and back arching slightly off the bed. Pleading words, begging breaths, you want for more of his hefty fingers inside you, stretching you out for what you expect to be more later. He complies easy, tongue and fingers moving in sync faster, enjoying every moan that falls past your lips. His name is whined out on repeat, each one raising in tone and intensity along with the pressure in your stomach. He laps up the mess you make as you clench around his fingers and fall over the edge for the first, but not final, time of the night. Soft kisses with the intention of being soothing are scattered along your thighs and stomach as his soaked fingers rub your overstimulated clit, letting you catch your breath as you ride the high just a moment longer.
“Fuck,” you huff, a dazed smile following. “Where’d you learn to do that?”
Eddie moves so he’s hovering over you, chin glistening with his work. “Fantasy novels.”
“No, seriously.” With your thumb, you wipe the wetness off of his chin for him. There’s a beat of silence and you realize he isn’t joking. “Wait, seriously?”
“Well… yeah.”
You sit both of you up, scooting up his mattress until your back touches the wall. There’s the pull of rejection in his chest the further you move away, the absence of your touch and the distance between the two of you sends a message that you don’t want to go further anymore.
“But you-” you pause, adjusting your shirt so it isn’t exposing your chest. “You… you’re you.”
“That’s the problem, apparently.” The defeat in his voice makes you wince in regret.
“No, I mean… you’re in a metal band and-” you almost don’t say it. “And I’ve heard… y’know.”
“That I’ll give a discount for putting out?” Amusement flickers in his eyes at that particular rumor. “Okay, I let one girl give me a handy, but that’s it. I’m a massive virgin otherwise.”
“Oh.” Your voice is small, going quiet so you can process what he’s told you. “Well, if you aren’t comfortable we don’t have to.”
“I set up the place for that purpose.” your stomach twists at the image of him excitedly getting ready, lighting the candles to set the mood all with the cute little smile he gets. “Unless you…”
“I’m not.” You almost feel bad for admitting it, but you didn’t regret losing your virginity to someone else. He didn’t seem jealous, just understanding. “And I wouldn’t mind.”
Eddie’s smile grows. “Good ‘cause I bought an entire box of condoms.” Leaning over, he pulls out the comically large box from his bedside table.
“Were you expecting a sex marathon?” You gawk.
“That’d be ideal.”
You shut him up by swiftly removing your shirt and tossing it in his face. He’s quick to pull it off and toss it to the side, but you’re quicker in moving forward, hands falling on his shoulders and pushing him down so he’s on his back. If his hair were loose, you’d be distracted by the halo it created around his bed, but it isn’t. Instead it’s already fighting the scrunchie, his bangs falling down in sparse strands, making him look more innocent than he ever has. Crawling into his lap, you take care in placing yourself directly on his growing hard-on. His hands slide up your thighs to your waist, gripping tightly while you run yours up the entirety of his torso. A couple tugs on the fabric is your way of asking him to sit up enough so you can take it off. Immediately, your eyes land on the one tattoo you haven't had the pleasure of looking at for longer than a few seconds, and slowly you take in the small patch of hair in the middle of his chest. What gets your mouth watering is the thicker patch leading down underneath his jeans. On his back, you can see the peaks of his hip bones leading down to the short valley to his happy trail.
You drag your nails over the thicker patch of hair, smiling to yourself at his sharp intake of air, the upward tilt of his chin from your peripheral, working him up to squirm just as much as you had. He’s a whimpering mess while you only touch him anywhere besides the one place he wants. Desperate, he moves your hips for you, begging for any amount of friction. Almost defiantly, you scoot back, sitting on his thighs instead, and he huffs indignantly. You smirk, bite your bottom lip to keep from smiling fully at his pouting.
“Please,” he begs breathless, hips jutting into the air despite no available pressure from your weight.
Giving in, you unbutton his jeans, finding the way they pop open satisfying, and tug slowly on his zipper. You can perfectly see the outline of his dick through his tight boxer briefs. You want to take your time, slowly pull his jeans off first and then his underwear, but that flies out of the window when you see just how girthy he is. You don’t undress him in any manner, running the palm of your hand up his length, a long moan filling the room. Leaning down, you kiss his stomach, his muscles jolting in surprise. You slip your hand past the waistband, fingertips brushing against the tip, already dripping at your light touch. Experimentally, you give a light squeeze when you’ve wrapped your hand fully around him. Using his pre-cum as aid, you start slow, his moans coming from deep in his chest. Slowly, you start increasing your speed, dropping kisses along his skin when he seems to get too quiet.
“Baby, you gotta stop,” Eddie pants. You pull away completely, confusion and hurt covering your features. “No, no,” he takes your face between his hands. “I’m just gonna explode if you keep touching me like that, and I’m not quite finished with you yet.”
You pause, blink once as heated shock covers your body over the realization. You almost made him cum too fast. Pride fills your chest, and you aren’t sure if it’s a bad feeling to have, but he returns your sheepish smile by grabbing a condom from the box. With fascination, you watch him as he rolls it on, not having had the luxury of witnessing this part. It was too dark or too quick before. There’s a bit of a struggle and you reach out to help but stop yourself, not wanting to take over.
“Got it,” he smiles.
“And you’re sure you want to…?” You aren’t afraid, but this is new to him. You don’t want him to be afraid. Everything should be perfect, though you know nothing ever is.
“Do you?”
“Of course, Ed’s.” Running a hand down his chest to his stomach, to land on his strained cock, you give a reassuring smile. Before you climb back in his lap, he helps you out of your underwear, watching the way you smoothly throw a leg over him and line yourself up expertly without even looking. Raising your brows to wordlessly ask one more time, he answers by resting his hands on your hips, eyes never leaving yours. As you sink slowly down, there’s the familiar burning stretch that causes you to whimper, even more by his girth, but it’s all covered up by his moans. You bottom out, wiggling experimentally while he adjusts to the feeling.
And then you start moving your hips.
Slow at first, grinding your pussy into him, his head falling back onto the mattress and eyes squeezing shut. If he had any nails, they’d be digging into your skin, leaving crescents behind to remind you of this moment later, but his fingers are dull, pushing and pulling you into a perfect rhythm. Leaning down, you press kisses and soft bites onto his neck, your tits flat against his chest and moving with every desperate thrust he gives into you. You support yourself by your forearms, stopping your movements and letting him fuck himself into you. He’s a beautiful flustered mess when you look at him. He opens his eyes just a sliver to catch your smile.
“Feel good?” You ask, voice soft.
“Mm-hm.” He can’t even speak, brows furrowed together roughly. “‘M gonna—“
“Go ahead.” You place a kiss on his pulse point, swallowing your moans as he thrusts harder, hitting your g-spot. His arms wrap around your waist holding you still, his hips becoming more erratic. “C’mon baby,” you coo.
“Fuck,” he breathes out, giving a few good thrusts before his hips stutter. You give him a moment to catch his breath, the only sound in the room being his panting.
Leaning back, you smother his face in kisses, feeling his laughter vibrate underneath your chest.
“Hey,” you say semi-serious, his soft eyes meeting yours. “You did great.”
“I sure hope so.” He finally slides out of you and you whine in indignation, missing the feeling of him already.
“You did.” You insist.
There’s this moment where he almost looks like he believes you and you get this warm mushy feeling in your chest at the realization that you’ve had your first time together. Not in the back of his van but in a lovingly decorated trailer with zero chances of being interrupted. To top it all off, you’re also officially his girlfriend.
“Sweetheart?” He breaks you out of your revere. “Kinda need you off of me to get this thing off.”
“And then we cuddle.”
He smiles. “And then we cuddle.”
Rolling onto your back, you realize you’ve still got your skirt on, laughing to yourself as you take it off. You look around and find a shirt, unsure of whose it could be, and slip it on, watching Eddie walk out of the room despite promising to get back in bed. A moment later, he returns with a damp rag, gently spreading your legs and cleaning you up the best he knows how.
“I got it, thank you.” You take it from him gently, getting the spots he couldn’t and hand it back. He immediately tosses it behind his shoulder, hoping it lands in his laundry basket. “Eddie, gross.”
“No time, my dear.” He crawls in right behind you, pulling his comforter over the both of you so you don’t end up cold. His nose nuzzles into the back of your neck, lips leaving soft kisses on the top of your spine.
“I can’t sleep over,” you remind him, eyelids already feeling heavy.
“I know.”
“My dad wants me back before midnight.”
“I know.”
A hand snakes over your side, wrapping around your middle to pull you flush into his chest. He breathes you in, the smell of your honey shampoo tingling his senses.
“Eddie?”
“Hm?” He sounds sleepy and you know you’re in trouble.
“We can officially do it in your van, now.”
“Finally,” he teases.
Tag list: @hesvoid3434 @jane-ways @akiratoro420 @ali-r3n @stupid-infinity (there were a couple of you it wouldn't let me tag, sorry <;3)
#eddie munson x female reader#Eddie Munson x reader#eddie munson x you#Eddie Munson x y/n#Eddie Munson fanfic#Eddie munson#my writing.
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Hiiiiiiiiiii!! I love your work, and I get so excited whenever i see one of your posts pop up 💗💗
Idk if you'll be able to do anything with this, but this was just a random thought I had after a very real experience at the gym but
What about reader getting intimidated by a member bc of their muscles/height? Like maybe they're friends or in a relationship, and it's just like a cute sweet little moment (i can see this with anyone in svt tbh, but obv gym line would be best)
It's okay if you don't wanna do this! I just thought I'd throw it out there lol
Anyways, I hope you have a great day/night!!!!! 💖
you're so cute anonie !! thank you so much for reading my works, and i'm so glad to bring you joy with my silly posts ! but i totally get what you're saying, whenever i go to the gym without my friends, i'm so intimidated by the big guys so i get you ! plus i looove it whenever someone comes in my inbox to let out some random thoughts like that, keep doing that please !!
and to this screams MINGYU, who is so tall and big, but sometimes forgets how impressive it can be for other people. he sees you struggling to reach the bar of one of the machines because you're too short, and he runs to you to help you pull it down. you shyly thank him, and he goes back to his workout, but he cannot help stealing glances at you whenever you're at the gym at the same time as him. and sometimes, he catches you also looking at him but you always turn your eyes away and he doesn't understand why.
but mingyu doesn't want to annoy you during your workout, so he doesn't say anything. except that one day he sees you preparing to squat and he comes by quickly and asks you if you need someone to spot you. he's so cute with his cheeks all red that you cannot say no.
from this moment on, the two of you keep talking and you become his gym crush immediately. he already thought that you were insanely pretty, but now he's also aware that you're the sweetest human on earth and he's smitten by you. some weeks after you grew closer and started to workout together, he will start to wonder why you didn't approach him sooner.
"do i look like a bad guy ?" you giggled at his little joke, shaking your head. "not, that's not it. but you're… well, you're quite impressive." mingyu seemed so surprised you couldn't help but laugh again at how dumbfounded he was. "impressive ? me ?" - "don't play dumb gyu, you're so tall and big, it's a little intimidating at first."
mingyu tries to process the information for a moment, as he didn't think he could've impressed you just because of his size. but for some reasons, it fuels his ego and it feels good to know that he must also look dependable because he wants you to ask for his help everytime you need it.
"do you still find me impressive ?" he questioned, honestly curious about your answer, but he also had other thoughts in mind. "physically ? yes, don't think i didn't count how much you can bench press. but i also know that you're very sweet, and cute, and you take good care of me, so how could i be intimidated ?"
a soft smile takes over mingyu's face as he leans in, getting closer to you until your lips are only inches away. "does this intimidate you ?" - "no… not at all." this time, you take it upon yourself to make a move and kiss him softly. you can feel his lips stretching in a big, gummy smile against yours. and you can't help the giggle you let out when he looks you in the eyes, his forehead resting against yours, his eyes letting you know everything you needed to.
#gym crush mingyu has my heart now !#eli answering your questions#eli's anonie#seventeen soft thoughts#seventeen soft hours#mingyu soft hours#mingyu soft thoughts#mingyu fluff#mingyu x reader
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for the whole marriage thing, it would be kinda funny if you marry someone else out of spite, especially right after Miguel found out that you two were actually destined for each other.
You, out of breath and looking upset: Dude, this is gonna be a lot but, I need your help doing something to spite Miguel--
Hobie: don't even have to finish mate, you've already sold me on it
You: you and I need to get married because I wanna be my own person and rebel against Miguel because he wants US to get married but I don't want to because fuck him and fuck canon and I wanna choose my own destiny idk am I being dumb 🥺
Hobie, who Definitely Has Nothing To Gain Here Wink Wink: alright, that's what I'm talkin about, fuckin mental, let's do it 😌 fight the man ✊️
But no for real, you were actively avoiding relationships and suddenly Miguel hits you with "you and I are canon and I want to start getting to know each other better" and you're, I dunno, would "panic fucking" work. Would you be so bold. You're just trying to hook another person that YOU choose (and again Hobie would still apply here lmao) because, no, no, you can't let canon TRAP you like this!! And it would fucking suck if you had like, neutral or even negative feelings about Miguel. Shit, I've thought of, imagine being his FWB that he's actually catching feelings for but then the Miles Morales Incident happens and, you're just kind of disgusted how he acted, how he spoke to Miles, how he treated Gwen, but before you can officially tell him "hey, I want nothing to do with you anymore", that's when Miguel comes to you wanting to get more serious and he uh, does not accept you wanting to move on
I guess detouring into a different idea but imagine being kind of a FWB or fling of his that you kind of moved on from him from for whatever reason (he can have a temper, he can be too intense, you don't like when he did xyz, or maybe you're a free spirit and don't want to get serious and break things off when you feel he's too clingy) and he like. Cannot accept you've moved on. He's cockblocking you at the Spider Society bars n clubs and little holes in the wall where the adults go to drink and get together. By reputation alone, people know to avoid tou because Miguel wants you back, everyone still sees you as His Girl, like he's claimed you, but he still catches people dumb enough to get close to you (and I imagine his surveillance slips or he gets busy and you have a casual fuck under his radar and he sees hickeys or something on you later and goes ballistic)
But yeah gosh imagine like, he tells you up front you two are canon and not even 24 hours later you can notice the atmosphere has changed in the Spider Society with how people treat you in terms of respect, personal space, not being too touchy or overly familiar, but, most importantly, you just feel. Awkward. It's like everyone knows. Did they all know before you did, or did Miguel quickly spread the news around? You're not sure which of those is worse. He's wanting to get you know you more intimately, he wants to try and take you on dates, but, he sucks at it, he's been out of the game way too long and he's a stressed temperamental half-spider workaholic, so, his dates amount to, him just trying to spend time with you in different ways while trying to make awkward small talk. He takes you to dinner. He sees if there are any movies or entertainment you wanna see in the Spider Society, making awkward attempts to try and hold your hand
But also. Imagine. A version of Miguel that wants to move much faster than that. I mean, you two are going to be canon, so, you might as well get acclimated to him right away, right? He wants you to immediately spend more time with him, he starts controlling where you are and what you do so he can be spending time with you or connected to you in some way, you're living with him in his own residence now, he INSISTS you sleep in the same bed like a married couple, and while he may not immediately demand you do what married couples do, he makes it clear that he wants to eventually. God, you can barely even relax knowing he's in bed with you and he still forcibly cuddles you, getting used to feeling his body against your own (and what if he slept in the nude 😳 he provides you pj's but they're kind of small and thin and he keeps the room cold on purpose so you have to seek his warmth under the covers)
Miguel is like an established adult in his 30s or something all "we'll get to know each other and then we can start planning our wedding. We'll have dinner dates at least once a week and we'll have joint bank accounts--" meanwhile you're just sitting over here like " um 🥺 I um 🥺 have never really even dated anyone before 🥺" and suddenly this 6 ft 9 man is looking down at you realizing there's a lil bit of an age gap and definitely an experience gap and he gets to have all of your "firsts" and he's Just So Weird About It in like, kinda a fetish way. He gets to have your first kiss, your first time (maybe he even wants to wait until marriage), he gets to teach you things, like, lowkey it's kinda like a mentorship as well as a relationship, he's your teacher, your protector, your husband, your jailor
Like imagine you finally have your first baby and you're freaking out and you're so scared and worried about doing everything absolutely perfect and he's just like, so happy but also kind of romanticizing/fetishizing you being a new/first-time mom, he thinks you're so cute, so eager to do good and learn how to do the best for your baby. He teaches you all kinds of things about childcare and being pregnant since, he's already cared for his fiance before his canon event, he remembers all the things he learned to become a dad, all the things he picked up during the second go around, and now everything new he's learned just for you. I mean really if we follow the combo comic/movie canon, you're the first time he's getting a BABY baby and getting to raise it and do everything from the start, and it's his CANON baby so he knows you're both safe.
I just feel like between his literal list of trauma (beaten by abusive father who also abused his mom, he was betrayed and drugged with a highly addictive and agonizing substance to basically be enslaved, he was sabotaged and atomically spliced with a spider while trying to cure said addiction, his pregnant fiance died, his second family died as well as an entire universe) and him not really even having much of an OPTION with breaking canon at risk (which would have such a domino effect because it happening in his Nueva York would dismantle THE ENTIRE SPIDER SOCIETY, so, this is like, QUARDUPLE RISK) he would just. Like damn you don't even need to have yandere stuff in there, he HAS to make you stay with him? Obviously he eventually has no problem with it and fully enjoys the excuse if he wasn't crazy about you on sight, but like. LMAO you're just hanging around HQ with big sad eyes and people are whispering "who's that over there that Miguel is hovering over" "oh that's Miguel's wife. she's scared of him and he's way too intense" "well why doesnt she just leave him" "can't, they're canon, and even if they werent, i dont think he'd allow it. Shit just the other day she wanted to leave HQ to swing through the city and she didn't get his permission first and Miguel activated the Morales Protocol and sent us all chasing after her" "like ALL all?" "Oh yeah it was totally an 'all available units' situation, and once she saw she was being chased she started freaking out and panicking and tried to run, which pissed him off even more, and is why she's got a babysitter now" "oh wow, that's rough... so anyways do you know what they're serving in the cafeteria today?"
#miguel o'hara x reader#yandere miguel o'hara#yandere spiderverse#yandere stuff#sinprompts#woe! my constant barrage of long cringe posts be upon ye
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since we're being semi soft today.... do u have any fluffy thoughts on any of the marley boys ?
🙊 i'm answering this out of order from the requests in my inbox because i was HOPING someone would ask this after i posted the fluffy thoughts on the other boys -- so thank you for this 🥰
╰┈➤ fluffy headcanons pt. 2 - aot.
ft. colt, reiner, porco, zeke.
cw. gender neutral reader
⋙ colt grice.
colt coaches falco's soccer team. he gets up early in the morning, dressed in a fleece half-zip with some gloves to set up pylons on the field for the kids' drills. he knows every kid by name and doesn't give any special attention to falco just because he's his brother -- parents love him. doesn't notice that some of the younger moms are hitting on him until you point it out, and then he gets awkward and flustered every time he sees them.
please just picture this man with little pink-flushed cheeks from the early september chill, blowing steam into his hands to keep them warm. he's calling out encouragements to all the kids as they run back and forth on the field -- always praise, because they're just kids and this is only for fun. he looks back at stands and just beams at you, excited that you were willing to get up so early just to watch him coach a bunch of little kids
idk why, but in my head, colt is not funny 💀 like he just doesn't understand comedic timing and isn't quite a quick or sharp as some of the other boys, but he appreciates every single one of your jokes!! he absolutely kills himself laughing every time you make a joke and he gets so excited about them that he'll tell other people your jokes (poorly 😭) but be laughing so hard they don't even understand him
ALWAYS kisses you and tells you that he loves you when he says goodbye. it's something that he does with falco already (that falco hates, btw), and one day it just slipped with you like "mwah! love you, bye!" and he goes beet red in embarrassment when he realizes, but you quickly kiss him back and now you do it every day 🥺
⋙ reiner braun.
this man only knows angst i think reiner really cherishes quiet moments of intimacy with you. like driving in the car with your hand laced in his, or having a nice meal at home that the two of you cooked together. it means a lot more to him if you show him that you love him through small gestures, instead of telling him.
he looooooooves head massages. he'll sit on the floor between your legs on the couch while the two of you watch tv so you can run your fingers through his hair and scratch his scalp. guy is vocal about it too, groaning and moaning when you rub his temples. 💀 and his knees go absolutely weak whenever you scratch his head
he has a really hard time falling asleep when he's alone 🥺 he gets really anxious at night sometimes, so if the two of you are apart he hardly gets any sleep at all -- but when you're in bed with him, this guy falls asleep the second his head hits the pillow. he feels so safe and comfortable with you that it helps ease some of his worries just knowing that you're beside him.
if you roll away from him in bed when the two of you are sleeping together, guaranteed in a sleepy haze, this man is grabbing at the bed trying to find you again. the second his hand rests on your body, he hooks his arm around your waist and pulls you tight against his chest -- sighing into your shoulder and sleepily kissing your neck. when you tell him about it the next day, he says he doesn't even remember doing it 😭
⋙ porco galliard.
porco is perpetually grumpy and bratty, except for when it comes to you. this man literally will talk to you in a baby voice when the two of you are alone together 💀 if you've ever seen those tiktoks where the girl calls her bf and makes him do the baby voice when he's with their friends -- that's porco.
like "babyyyy, i'm weawy hungee, can you make me a snack?" and he's looking up at you with big dumb eyes and a little pout while he rubs his belly. lowkey kinda cringe but the shift between his baby voice when he's alone with you and his normal voice when he's with the boys is just too funny 💀
also -- loves snacks. has a stash of chips and cookies and treats in the cupboard because he's always munching on something. if you're cooking dinner for him, he'll take a snack tax and munch on one of the foods you're prepping for dinner. you always tell him he's going to spoil his appetite, but he hasn't yet!
LOVES GOSSIP!! when the two of you are out with your friends and one of them says some out-of-pocket shit, you see porco in the corner of your eye looking at you like 👀 and you just KNOW he's going to talk about it on the car on the way home. in fact -- when the two of you go on road trips together, you don't even listen to any music. you just spend the entire time filling each other in with drama at work/school/etc. and gossiping about how other people's relationships aren't as good as yours 💀
⋙ zeke jaeger.
zeke is in his early thirties but he acts like an old man. whenever he gets up from sitting down he's pushing himself up with his hands and groaning. cracking his back with a loud moan. sighing heavily and collapsing into the couch like 💀
really into grilling? like spent a bunch of money on a fancy grill and now will take any excuse to have people over for a barbeque. he's got an apron that says something dumb like "women love me, fish fear me". you guys will be having a bbq and he's standing by the grill, watching the meat, with a pair of dark rayban sunglasses and a beer in his hand.
loves feeding you. like physically feeding you. like, if he wants you to try something that he cooked, he'll hold it in his fingers and get you to open his mouth for him 💀 he sets a little piece of cookie down on your tongue or between your teeth, and watch you expectantly as you chew it and tell him your opinion
loves building things, too. like you'll mention offhand that you think it'd be nice to have a garden and the next weekend he's coming home with planks of wood and building you raised garden beds 🥺 you don't even have to ask, he's just like "she wants a garden? ok, i'm on it!" and he immediately gets to work.
#reiner#porco#zeke#colt#zeke jaeger#colt grice#porco galliard#reiner braun#zeke jaeger x reader#colt grice x reader#porco galliard x reader#reiner braun x reader#aot headcanons#i really struggled w zeke#because in my head he's a major asshole#but assholes can be fluffy and cute too#sometimes#tiff.fic#tiff.ask#moot.kreideprinzstudies#colt.hc#reiner.hc#porco.hc#zeke.hc
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You can totally ignore my idea lol but what about a fluffy/angsty fic about Steve Rogers or Bucky Barnes being turned into a baby/toddler by Tony on accident. But because they are babies they just want to be around and held by “Y/N” and get mad or throw a cute tantrum from lack of attention or if someone tries to hit on their “Y/N”. You can ignore this if it sounds idk weird or dumb lol but I thought it would be cute like they can’t hold back there affection for them while in baby form and when they turn back they are like well shit.. lmao
(PS: the fanart here is from Alexa_520 on Twitter I’m not sure if she has a tumblr but in case you or anyone wants to see it for yourself)
This is so cute!!!
Thank you for the idea. Here it goes. The story has little angst a bit.
Zero Crush.
Summary: Y/N was on her way to go out for her day off. However, her plan got interrupted because the AI told her something at the lab. You almost lose your mind seeing both of your bosses turn into babies.
And now, she has to watch them. Y/N is okay with kids, but the problem is she has a little crush towards Captain America and The Winter Soldier.
Character: Steve Rogers x platonic!reader, Bucky Barnes x platonic!reader
Warning: If you squint a bit, there’s a little angst.
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Drawing of baby Steve and Rogers : Drawing 1, Drawing 2, Drawing 3
It's been a long time for Steve and Bucky to cry, even for crying their heart out to release all their feelings through tears.
“Waaaaa!”
“Aah…Ahh!”
The rest of the Avengers rubbed their eyes. They couldn't believe the strongest soldiers standing tall before, were shorter than them.
Steve and Bucky have turned into babies. They were standing too close to Tony and Bruce's new invention.
The high IQ bros try to copy the Pym-particles to shrink and increase an object.
"What kind of machine is that, Tony?!" Natasha pushed Tony away while he was still in shock.
"I'm trying to make a quantum machine like Ant-man. Look, it works!!! The box got small.” Tony pointed at the test object.
"Yeah, it’s obvious the zone needs to get fixed." Natasha carried Bucky to her arm. At the same time, Steve was taken by Clint. Steve wants to push Clint away because he stinks.
Bucky did the same towards Natasha; her perfume was too strong. Natasha couldn't help it since she just returned from her mission, and Clint was training when Tony called him.
Tony shook his head. "If Steve and Bucky didn't stand near the test object, they wouldn't get transformed."
Natasha wants to punch him. "You..!!"
All the adults are pointing at each other. At the same time, Steve and Bucky were confused. Since they're shorter than everyone and the mood in the room doesn't feel good, it makes them uncomfortable.
"Uuh…"
All of them stop arguing because they suddenly hear a sobbing voice.
"Hey, guys? Is everything alright?" You were preparing to go out since today is your day off. Before putting on sunscreen, F.R.I.D.A.Y informed you that something happened at the lab.
Nobody answered you, but from their face, you could say they were nervous.
Then you saw that Natasha and Clint have a baby in their arms.
"Ooh, so cute. Clint, you have a twin? Congrats." You know Clint is a family man, but it’s new for him to bring his kids to the headquarters.
Clint chuckled. "Y/N, you don't recognise him?"
"Huh?"
After he said that, you did notice something that felt familiar, but you can tell what it was. Blond hair, blue eyes, straight nose. Then you turn to Natasha. The baby has black hair and vibranium arms.
You gasped, “Oh my god!”
"Yaa! Yaa!" Steve stretched his short arms towards you. Clint gently put Steve on your arm.
“Why did you give him to me?” You nervously hold Steve. Even though he’s a baby now, he is still your boss. You turned to Tony. "You better fix this!!"
"On it."
Bucky saw Steve get carried by you. And he wants it, too. "Ahh…" He pulled Natasha's shirt and pointed at you.
"Even in baby form, you can't be separated from your best friend?"
After everyone stops panicking, Tony wears his Iron suit and buys kid's clothes; perhaps he wants to run away. Bruce is fixing the machine, Clint went home to get toys for Steve and Bucky, and Natasha is helping you.
But you know Natasha just returned after a 3-month mission, and from her eyes, you could see she's damn tired. So you told her to rest.
In the end, there are two babies in your arms. You learn that Steve and Bucky are two years old and can walk alone.
You put them on the couch while you went to the fridge to make warm milk for them. You're not nervous taking care of little kids since you always cared for nieces and nephews before being accepted as a SHIELD agent.
But you’re nervous since you have a little crush towards your idols.
You're relieved to see milk inside the fridge. When you turn around to search for a pan, you're shocked not to see the two babies on the sofa.
Where are they?
Then you feel someone is watching you. You looked and saw Steve and Bucky looking at you.
You lean down and speak softly towards them, "I'm making warm milk for you both. Do you want some?"
Steve and Bucky nodded at the same time. With their fluffy cheeks and small body-like dumplings, you wouldn't believe they're the same boss who is deadly and righteous at the same time. You patted their head gently.
When the milk has warmed up, you give it to both. Steve and Bucky drink the warm milk. They widened their eyes when they tasted it. It's delicious.
In their eyes, you're the person they could look up to. You never raised your voice, and you gave them a delicious drink.
Is this what it feels like to have a big sister?
After 30 minutes, Tony returned with shopping bags from the kid's store.
"Give me the clothes. It needs to be cleaned first before they wear it." You received the bag from Tony. You look inside the bag and see there are pyjamas too.
"I'm going to the laundry room. Could you watch them for a while?"
"Sure."
Steve and Bucky didn't want to be left alone with Tony. Their short legs immediately run after you. Then, each of them hugs each of your legs.
Your body froze. You looked down at the little boys who held your legs, their two big eyes looking at you intensely.
You knew they didn't want to be left alone at this moment. "Umm, Tony, could you do the dirty laundry instead?"
Tony nodded his head. "Yup, the message is clear: both hate me."
Since then, both Steve and Bucky have followed you everywhere. They helped you when you made lunch. They wash all the veggies.
You chuckled, even though they turn into kids, they are always helping.
But no matter what, they're just a kid who needs attention. You learned that when eating together with them.
When you help to feed Bucky because of his metal arm, it doesn't seem like he can control his body.
Steve doesn't like to see Bucky get all your attention. He starts to make a noise and drops his spoon. "Ah..ahhh..."
Because of that, you feed them in turns.
And before they go to sleep, you want to read a bedtime story. You thought this would be easy since they didn't take a nap.
You were wrong. First, it was Steve's book choice; then, it was Bucky's. You should've said only one story but couldn't say no to them.
When they fell asleep, you slowly went out of the room. Finally, you could breathe. Even though you like kids, it takes time and energy.
But at least because of this, your secret crush towards your bosses is gone. Like 50% gone.
Before you join the Avengers, your HR has told you to keep everything professional. It's impossible not to like Captain America and The Winter Soldier.
At first, you saw them cute. But because their crying and whining hurt your eardrum, it shattered their perfect image in your brain.
You don't think you could wait for another day. You could handle terrorists, pirates, and aliens, but not kids. You wish Tony and Bruce could finish the machine quickly.
It took three days to fix the machine. When Steve and Bucky return to their old self, they fall asleep to get checked first. After two hours, they finally woke up and searched for you.
"Ooh, you're looking for Y/N? I gave her a week off after caring for both of you."
Yes, you do. When Bruce said the machine worked fine without side effects, you immediately left the building and went to a bar.
At the bar, you gulped the second glass of beer. You sighed heavily since you realised you needed the strongest alcohol to erase the image from your mind of baby Steve Rogers and baby Bucky Barnes when they're crying, nagging and pulling your hair.
Their perfect image in your mind has been destroyed.
Drawing of baby Steve and Rogers : Drawing 1, Drawing 2, Drawing 3
Main Masterlist || Buy me Ko-fi please 🥹
#chris evans characters#sebastian stan characters#steve rogers x y/n#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky fluff#steve rogers fluff#steve rogers x reader#bucky barnes x reader#steve rogers x f!reader#bucky barnes x you#steve rogers x you#bucky barnes x female reader
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Hi so I’m 15 and in a relationship for the first time so I don’t have experience with any of this stuff. My partner and I have been doing sexual stuff for a few months now I just have some questions.
First, I was wondering how we can do sexual things in a way that doesn’t bother other people in the house. Like maybe that’s a dumb question and the answer is just be quiet but idk it’s hard bc my partner is very vocal. Also there’s very few opportunities to do stuff without anyone else home so that’s not rly an option.
Also my parents have been very weird about my relationship with my partner. Making lots of odd comments such as “i wonder if they’re having sex up there” (to my brother who is a *child*) and giving me lots of looks that just kind of make me feel really bad about my relationship. I know that sex is natural but they make me feel really bad about it and I could use some advice on what to do about that
Next, my partner and I are both interested in getting in to kink but I don’t really know how to go about it. I’ve never heard of people getting into that stuff as minors and we don’t want to do anything too crazy especially since we don’t really have access to any supplies.
You’ve definitely talked about this before but could you tell me what kind of protection is best and easiest to use and obtain for f/f sex. School didn’t teach me how to use anything other than a male condom.
Thank you so much. Sorry for asking so many questions
hi anon,
your first question is going to be pretty circumstantial; I don't know what the layout of your house is like or how realistic it is to wait for privacy. the ideal if of course to wait until everyone else is either asleep or out of the house, but I recognize that the former may be difficult if not impossible for someone your age and you've already said the latter is hard to come by. using other noises, like music or TV or white noise, can be helpful, although it's unlikely to prevent your parents from speculating.
to address your second problem most directly, I'm afraid there's no much that I personally can do to rectify that. it is unfortunately very normal for parents to have an anxious, awkward, and difficult time adjusting to their children becoming sexually curious. I think the most crucial thing to remember here is that this has nothing to do with what you're doing being gross or wrong, and most everything to do with how your parents were raised to think about sex. unless they have specific concerns they want to raise with you about sexual safety, their reactions are most likely coming from a place of discomfort that they don't know how to channel appropriately. that's not a shortcoming on your part, but on the people who failed to help them develop a better way of understanding their own feelings about sex - and, yes, on them for how they're handling those feelings now.
I'm unsure exactly what you're interested in exploring, since kink covers a very broad array of activities and "supplies" could mean almost anything, but I would definitely recommend an abundance of caution in your explorations. kink is great, but that doesn't mean it's easy for for everyone. there's a reason that you seldom hear of people your age getting into kink, which is that it generally requires a great deal of practice with navigating partnered intimacy and communication - something that few teenagers have had time to develop the skills for. kink is also something that many people find works best as a communal activity, by finding others to help introduce them around and sharing experience to help safely explore their fantasies; for obvious safety reasons, few kink spaces are looking to admit 15 year olds. by all means, do your research - Evie Lupine's youtube channel is a great place to start, with a backlog of hundreds of videos covering all kinds of kink-related topics - but be careful with how you act on it, and recognize that kink comes with more potential complications and risks than "vanilla" sex that cannot be taken lightly.
if both parties have vulvas and vaginas then you can use dental dams for protection during oral sex, latex or nitrile gloves or finger cots to cover hands/fingers, and external ("male," although there's nothing inherently gendered about them) condoms for any penetrative toys (or cut them down one side to flatten them out and make the aforementioned dental dams).
please don't apologize for asking questions! questions are how you learn and stay safe :)
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notes for the absolutely bonkers time line of toxicity (that's reborn au au). note that nothing is actually set in stone because it's derivative of reborn au, which is also not set in stone
i realized i suggested tori deciding to get with obito after the cave incident, but also that in reborn au she's actually already dating itachi when that happens. so consider
tori has been dating itachi for a few months (more if you count when she was dating him unknowingly) (her life is... dumb?)
she gets trapped in a cave by Some Guy and minato bans her from seeking vengeance
in reborn au she gets itachi to go freak out That Guy and is satisfied, but in THIS au everyone is more toxic. she has "destroys village out of affection" on the table as normal human behavior. she wants blood. she deserves blood
tori: can you BELIEVE itachi won't kill a singular guy for me
obito: lmao tori is it really that big a deal? just kill him yourself
tori: but it was :(
tori: a cave :(
tori: where i doubted anyone at all would ever help me again :(
obito:
obito:
obito: okay FINE i'll kill him
tori breaks up with itachi specifically to seduce obito
it's an amicable break up. she doesn't tell itachi it's so she can run off with obito, but she's like "look i don't have any problem with helping you shirk your clan duties, but i still want to have my own dating life. lmk if you need something else but i won't be your fake gf" which is an entirely reasonable and mature argument for someone who is about to go after an unstable ex-missing-nin
obito is extremely confused when tori starts coming on to him (she is. not good or subtle at it) but ALSO he's kind of into it. he has a lot of weird feelings about tori but she's the one person who knows all his darkest secrets and he likes having her undivided attention. is she actually into him or is she trying to use him to murder more people? he doesn't care!
anyway i have been trying to figure out how no one intervenes in this or causes, like, some sort of permanent interpersonal fallout. and i remembered @waffliesinyoface and i joking around about toxicity just having its main cast destroy even MORE villages, and what if kushina wrecked suna's shit over gaara. so further consider
kushina goes to suna for some reason. idk maybe they host the chunin exams and they're like "send a representative..... not the hokage...... pls thnx." and she realizes how they're treating gaara and she loses her mind
kushina: SURPRISE I RUINED OUR ALLIANCE WITH AN UNTOLD AMOUNT OF MURDER!!!!
kushina: also i kidnapped the kazekage's son. he's ours now
kushina: he is deeply emotionally unstable and completely op and has murdered so many suna-nin
kushina: but i can fix him. with my love <3
minato: o-oh
i don't think i'll have kushina PERMANENTLY adopt gaara (he has older siblings he can go back to!) but he's definitely in konoha for a hot second. so minato's life is currently
bonus child who is both crazy powerful and also desires to kill
(kushina: (shoving shukaku back in with her bare hands) HE'S FINE)
like the number of people who can handle gaara is. very low. he keeps sending gaara and naruto over to the uchiha compound for "babysitting" (Naruto keeps whining he's too OLD) but it's literally a bunch of A-ranks bc someone's sharingan is on them the whole time. the ushiha massacre 1000% doesn't happen in this time line because people are like "the uchiha are the only ones preventing us from being sand-coffined"
tori just fucking broke the hiraishin, so now he has to worry about the possibility of ANYONE ELSE doing that and killing/ruining everyone/everything he's ever cared about
obito?? decides to date her????
anyway the apparent situation of "obito, a 25 year old, has decided to date a teenager, who he's know since he was in his twenties and she was 12" is like. look, it's bad. but also minato is so tired. everyone else is so tired. obito what if you just...... didn't? please?
tori: but i'm the ultra manipulative seductress villain???
also an anon sent this
Itadei fake dating arc.... No one would even really notice/care since obitori is going on at the same time would they
Deidara doesn't give a shit about the murderous suna child. He killed him before and he'll do it again, okay. However WHY IS OBITO IN HIS APARTMENT ALL THE TIME NOW???
deidara: get her back. GET HER BACK
itachi: ?? she had a very sound argument for our break up
deidara: YOU'RE JUST COVERING FOR BEING A BAD BOYFRIEND
deidara is convinced tori would be SO easy to re-seduce. she likes good food and getting people to commit crimes for, okay. deidara would have just murdered that guy smh
deidara is going to show itachi how it's done
itachi is pretty sure being gay won't stop his parents from trying to get him to marry someone with a working womb, but maybe it will slow them down? certainly deidara has a good shot at scaring away any perspective dates
itachi and deidara start "dating" and no one gives it a second thought because it's the least insane thing happening right now
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26 askss!! ✨💖🐻💖✨
@milk-powrit
XD actually, Bibi never minded being the shortest. Because Jangles and I never made fun of him for it. But he's probably happy that there's now 2 people short enough to give him proper hugs 🥺
And to be honest, I haven't thought too much out about character facts :0 other than Cici is a smarty pants and can be a lil sassy at times XD But in a harmless/charming way.
Also oh yeah, Gerald loves puns. XDD Although he hasn't had any cake before.. so idk what his favorite could be. What ever is the funniest flavor I suppose XDD
@luckyglasses
AAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DD Happy holidays!! :}}
@deadly-skeleton123
Oh you're new to Tumblr? Ahhh word of advice then- If I may? It might be a good idea to change your profile picture. Tumblr has a big bot problem. And a lot of the bots have default profile pictures just like yours. A lot of people might see your account in their feed and just block/report on sight. Not fun.. also I suggest you do the same though, if someone with default profile picture, banner, no bio, no posts follows you... that's probaaaaably a bot and should be blocked--
ANYWAYS! So for the Captain Barnacles/Crab comic. I don't plan on finishing it. And the reason why I abandoned it was because the way I had written the comic had everyone acting out of character. The blood was over the top, it was too dramatic,, ugh.. I got tired of my own comic half way through making it. <XD
The comic was gonna end with the rest of the crew showing up, they take the Captain to the octopod, and Peso cries because "I was too scared to help the Captain.." Which is just stupid <XD
Peso would not cower in fear in this situation. Even if Captain Barnacles turned like that and became very scary. Peso has had an extended history of getting it together and braving through anything to help creatures in need. And if his own Captain/friend was hurt? Nothing would stop him. Nothing could scare him away.
In the perfect re-write, Peso would ace this situation. He would approach Barnacles perfectly and calm him down. He would patch the wound, guide him to the gups. Guide him into the octopod and into the med-bay. Expertly deal with the wound and clean up all the blood.
Sure maybe after everything was done he would cry a bit out of the stress of it all. But originally everyone else did everything for Peso because he was too scared to help the scARy CapTAIN OOOO!!
Nah, that dumb. Peso is way stronger than that. #justiceforpeso
I made one yeeeaaarrs ago when I was into Sonic. But it centered around a Sonic OC of mine. <XD I don't tend to do much insert OC stuff anymore..
I imagine Bonnie would just sigh and try to get through it on his own. And not go to Foxy for help.. Worse case scenario he gets overwhelmed and shuts down on stage and ruins the show. Which is fine by him. He'd think, "Serves them right for puttin me on that stage. Faz-bear entertainment deserves to have their show flop for how they've treated me.. for how they've treated us."
XDD Hey! That's Veggietales isn't it?
@elegysonnet
XD That's what I was thinkin! That, and they were basically fully fleshed out characters but their bodies just didn't exist yet. Since their future existence was so set in stone Jangles was able to connect to their minds..?? XD I guess??
Thank you so much!! :DD Also CAPTAIN BARNACALES FTWWW!! ✨💖🐻💖✨
@taizarack
XD New friend indeed! Cici is technically an old friend, she's existed longer than Jangles and Gerald! XD
@manybrokenquills
JOKES ON YOU I'M ALL OF THOSE THINGS XDD
Also thank you! I'm glad you've stuck around and like what you see! :DDD
@wildwitchofthewest
AAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDDDD
@smallangryartist
1: AAAA I'm glad it fooled you! When I drew it in I knew that anyone with a different Tumblr theme wouldn't be fooled.. but I'm glad I got at least 2 people! XDD
2: Also aww.. even if they were happy tears, sorry for making you cry! <XD
ALSO WAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DD Also also don't worry, I'm taking a nap and drinking water at the same time as we speak! XD
(Also also also that heart shattering might come sooner than you think..👀)
Nahh, my gnome is built different. All he needs to thrive is a steady supply of pepperoni pizza and a very large 3 inch deep puddle XD
@beryl-shade
Maybe! :0 At the very least I imagine they'd get along. My Seam is soft spoken, polite, mellow.. he's probably a nice person to share a cup of tea with! :}
THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD
@coolkoaladeer @thesweetishfish
@boringa55binch
Its hard to say, I didn't ever like.. try to replicate an art style and draw something unrelated. Like- if I was drawing in the gravity falls art style, I was drawing gravity falls stuff. I wouldn't draw in the gravity falls art style and draw random ocs and stuff. If that makes sense-
But maybe one style was easier to draw hands in than another. So I.. might have adopted some stuff..?? I guess??
I guess that would mean my art style developed off of the different franchises I made fanart from? If that's the case it was likely Gravity Falls, Sonic x, and Steven Universe..? Mostly?? XD Sorry this answer is all over the place-
Many actually! Its just unfortunate because all of them are giant comic ideas but I'm too wiped out from my 20k celebration to really draw any of themmmm... 😩sighhhh
@funtimespringscare101
XDDD I'm glad you like them! And I can imagine that they might be shy to hug new people- but Gerald probably wouldn't mind! XD
@ayoshivader
Since that statement I have re-written the timeline.. So who's to say any of that still stuck and what her motives were/are now..? 👀
<XD I've never played the paper mario games so that's why I've never drawn them.. it sounds really cute though! :D
Taking the quilt off does nothing, the quilt doesn't bring them to life either! Remember that Bibi could talk when he was a still picture and was brought to "life" without the use of a quilt or even any glowy effects. Also Jangles had a quilt as a drawing and was "brought to life" using a pen!
The point I'm getting at is, Pen? Quilt? It doesn't matter. None of these methods actually give the characters life. I do. All these fancy ways I seem to bring them to life are just for show <XD
@housome
XD The first thing that came to mind was Freddy telling Fredbear about Gregory.
Freddy: "I'm keeping a child hidden in the basement.."
Fredbear: "...you're keeping a CHILD in the BASEMENT??"
Freddy: "LISTEN ITS TO PROTECT HIM--"
Also thank you! :DD
Naahhh he'll be fine 😉
And yay! Cici and Gerald!!! XDD
To put it simply, fanart makes me feel bad. And Comments make me feel good. So I prefer comments to fanart. 👌
To complicate it a bit, when I post artwork I'm just sitting there all giddy waiting for the first "AKSJKASAU WAAAAA 😭😭😭" comment to pop up. When I get fanart I immediately get frustrated and uncomfortable. Fanart feels like stealing and usually invokes a negative reaction from me. So if people want to show their appreciation for my work, leaving comments is 100% more effective and preferred. 👍
Also thank you! :DD
@scp-16217
XD These are great match ups!
#my response#factual fam#fnaf security breach#octonauts#undertale#deltarune#the amazing digital circus
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@driaswrld :: could i get maybe a meet ugly w kuroo? where like he cuts reader in line cs they were so short he rlly didn't notice em 😭😭 idk i js think that would be funny
a/n :: dria bby hai ! i'm so sorry this is coming out so late, but i hope it's what you wanted :) gn!reader, reader is short(er than kuroo)
event (closed).
maybe he should stop making bets.
the thought sits on kuroo’s mind as he scans the video game store, looking for the games he owes kenma. he doesn’t even remember what the bet was about— proof of just how long he’d put doing this off.
however, tetsuro fancies himself a man of his word, no matter how long it takes him to get there.
after some help from the staff, he finally has the game series in his hand. kenma had been smart about his conditions; this one would do a number on his wallet. regardless, kuroo goes to stand in line, eager to get this over and done with.
as if he had any plans.
“excuse me.” he hears a voice call out, to nobody in particular it seems. he thinks nothing of it, focusing on the moving line more than anything else, until someone behind him taps on his shoulder, repeating their words with a more urgent tone.
when kuroo turns and looks down, he’s met with a less-than-pleased expression on a pretty face.
“oh, hey— didn't see you there. what's up?” you watch his lips curl up into a grin, one that you don't take too kindly to, regardless of how attractive this stranger might be.
“you cut into the line. the end is behind me.” you deadpan, gesturing backwards and kuroo’s eyes follow— there are two people that come in to line up behind you. his eyes trail back to you and you stare pointedly at him, arms folding over your chest with the game you plan to buy clutched in your hand.
“...sorry, beautiful, but i’m pretty sure i didn't cut.” play dumb; that was his plan. he was here now, and he just didn't feel up to losing this spot. even if it wasn't his. amber eyes look over you, trying to see if the nickname might have flattered you even in the silence.
the way you glare at him hints at quite the opposite effect he wanted.
“i’m telling you that you did.”
“...and i’m telling you that i’m sure i didn't.”
“i don't really care how ‘sure’ you are, it doesn't change the fact that you pushed into the line. now, i don't know if your eyes always fail you, but i said the end is right there.” you hope you're articulating your agitation as much as you feel it spreading through your body, it was making your fingertips tingle a little. you had places to be, and you weren't about to let some jerk delay you any longer.
kuroo watches the way you try to tell him off, tracing over every word your lips form— you're cute. cute enough that your sentence practically bounces off him and though he knows he probably shouldn't, he lets his grin spread wider, suddenly entertained.
“my eyes work pretty well, darling— they just aren't used to picking up such... small things.”
he likes watching your face contort into offense; your eyebrows furrowing and creasing your skin, your lip dropping a little so you're gaping at him the slightest— looks like he found a trigger.
“excuse me?”
the cashier, who looks too tired to really care about this disagreement, calls for the next in line, which now happens to be him. you can smell the smugness in how he takes a step closer and pays for the games he's purchasing, and you feel like hurling a few colourful words at him.
irrational? maybe, but such an antagonising face brought it out of you so unexpectedly easy.
“well then,” kuroo has the nerve to keep smiling at you while he grabs his plastic of purchases, the little shit. he heads towards the exit, tossing you a half-hearted wave goodbye with his back to you. “see you around, shortie.”
“i’d rather not, you pig,” you huff, getting a little annoyed with yourself for not biting back with venom. your eyes follow him out the door, narrowed at so much audacity.
kuroo grins— you're sure to remember him now. he reaches into his pocket and gets his phone out before notifying kenma that he's finally got his games.
maybe he'll accompany kenma whenever he visits the store from now on. he probably (definitely) owes you an apology of some sort, and he can't say he doesn't feel intrigued at the thought of your paths crossing again.
#𝅄 ۟ ✧ — angel's gift event ·˚#kuroo x reader#kuroo tetsurou#kuroo tetsuro x reader#kuroo tetsuro x you#kuroo tetsuro x y/n#kuroo x you#kuroo x y/n#haikyuu x reader#hq x reader#hq kuroo#haikyuu kuroo#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x gender neutral reader#kuroo tetsuro imagine#tetsurou kuroo x reader
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Alina Afanaskina diary(English)
maybe it`s not her diary, idk, but also...
Post from 2.08 11:49 Moscow time
02.08 If you're reading this, then I'm already dead (or I've been detained)
How you fucked me up, you fuckers. I'm writing this in tears, I hate school and everything related to it. I would fucking shoot you all
I'm not a terrorist, and I'm not even a school girl, I just want to kill a couple of nasty people who ruined my life and it wouldn't hurt to shoot myself.
13.08 Right now I'm looking at Dad`s weapon and I want to shoot myself…
14.08 The holidays would rather be over (for the first time I want this), I think I will surprise them on the first of September <3
20.08 Dasha, along with her dumb friends, grins at me, fucking came into MY room and also with her friends and dares to laughing over me ☠️ ☠️ ☠️ ☠️ ☠️ The only thing that comforts me is the fact that I'm going to shoot her.
31.08 Tomorrow I will kill those who have been killing my psyche throughout my life, but I feel so calm every day is the same as it always will be.. idk what will happen
01.09 I HAVE ALREADY TAKEN THE KEY, I HAVE ALREADY OPENED THE SAFE, BUT THERE IS NO GUN, IT LOOKS LIKE IT IS IN THE GARAGE
Fuck it, they were just lucky.
Now I've come home from school and I'm happy, but I could have killed them all…
04.09 This shit begins, today I went to the blackboard to take books and the stupid whore Nastya gave me the ugliest and torn books (on purpose), she is laughing and the whole class is there too, MMMMM HOW FUNNY
07.09 I'm sitting in Columbine chats and threw a splint on a bomb, can I use it too? There's a shorter guy saying "today with the permission of Allah" ahhahaha
I FOUND A CHANNEL THERE 700 RECIPES FOR DIFFERENT EXPLOSIVES AHAH CAN BLOW THEM UP?!?! hmm, maybe it's not for nothing that my father left a weapon in the garage, after all, natural selection, fate
11.09 Congratulations to Ilnaz, Dylan on his birthday, I wish you health and happiness
30.09 Oh, I forgot about this diary, I haven't been writing anything for a long time. Well, I'll say that things have not changed in any way, the creatures torment my psyche as soon as possible, I'm hz, I'm afraid to do shooting and suicide. But I really want to
14.10 Nothing interesting, as always, day after day with bullying. Even at home, a fucked-up father and a fucked-up sister fuck brains
15.10 Oh, I found the mining manual of the school hmmm interesting
there was a link here
There's only one drawback, I don't know how to make bombs.
And what he tells me, I don't fucking understand, I couldn't learn chemistry properly, what do you think because of whom?)))
16.10 Fuck, I don't even know how to shoot normally, I've never been taught that. But it seems to me that it's easy, like I'm watching videos on YouTube right now, I've already learned how to reload a gun.
11.11 I want to kill more and more, fucking so many months have passed and I still haven't killed them. God, I don't even have time to run this fucking note channel, I live in fear all the time. ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE HATES ME. But now they'll love me.
29.11 Bitch, I can't anymore, it's fucked up!!
01.12 I have lost any sense of waiting when I grow up. I can't stand their antics anymore. And I won't. I don't know when I'm going to kill them, damn it, I'd like to do it sooner
02.12 Anyway, next week I will definitely shoot them
06.12 I forgot to write, but I'll go tomorrow, the weapon is still at home. It's just not profitable for me to go to the garage. And then dad will take him away again, most likely somewhere. I'm just burned out already.
07.12 :(
Post from 7.12
This message is set on a timer for 12/07/23:50.
(I hope by that time they will know that there was a shooting)
Started writing this 02.12 | 20:59.
If you are reading this message, it means you somehow found out about my channel.
(I hope the channel won’t be deleted by then.. Or I hope they won’t find this old phone, because I want to help someone with my life story)
Although who knows, perhaps no one will ever know about the existence of this channel.
And I will remain to rot in the grave and no one will even remember me and my story.
In short, yes, things suck! My father hits me sometimes. My sister, excuse me, is sucking him off or something, or how can I explain that it’s just me that everyone at home hates… Well, even at school they bully, although no, the fucking creatures, brainless classmates, are “just joking.”
Their “roffles” are not funny at all and not without insult, as the teacher said when my classmates scratched me “accidentally” with a pen cap until they bled <> I don’t remember what she said there.
I wish everyone who hates me to go through what I went through. I first started cutting myself at the age of 8, AT EIGHT YEARS OLD!! When all the children live a happy life, I cry and pray for death. I've changed, I don't cut myself so much anymore, rarely very much. Now I hate not myself, but everyone around me. You are pathetic creatures who don’t even notice the problem under your nose (me).
Therefore, I hope that I will kill everyone I wanted, namely: father, Dasha, Nastya, Kirill, Anton, Masha, Sasha, Vanya, Artyom and maybe Yegor. Well, it would be nice for myself too))) I don’t want to go to prison, and I don’t want to live at all.
I think that at the beginning of the night I’ll quietly kill Dasha and dad and steal the weapon… then I’ll go to hell (school), go into my class and shoot them at the beginning, and then I’ll go look for other creatures who also managed to ruin my life.
Although I’m not sure that I’ll be able to kill them, I’m afraid to pierce a human body with a sharp object, I’m not some kind of sick maniac, I’m out of despair, as it were…
I believe that this is how we need to fight bullying, because other methods imposed by teachers and society do not work at all.
“don’t pay attention to them”, “tell them you’re not happy”🤡🤡
If they systematically bully you, fucking kill them. They ruined your life, you must do it, because they will multiply and more people will suffer. And perhaps many more people will die. It is better to immediately kill these socially rotting creatures and commit suicide than to commit only suicide. DO YOU UNDERSTAND???
What can I recommend to people who read this when “fighting” bullying:
Well, you need to understand and be aware of what you are going to, in order to kill people you need to know about the consequences and about past killers. Therefore, go to YouTube, Wikipedia and watch videos about Columbine, school shooting, revenge, etc. watch how to shoot, how to reload. If there are no weapons and there won’t be any in the future for some reason, kill or blow up the offenders. You can also watch how to cut on YouTube, although this does not require any special skills. By the way, I came up with an idea, I’ll take my dad’s knife with me just in case, in case they take my weapon away, I’ll cut something then, but I don’t know, I’ll think about it again.. I repeat, this is scary for me. It's scary to feel your insides with a knife. It's actually much better to shoot.
To blow up the same thing, look on YouTube for lessons on how to make explosives, only you need to know chemistry, I don’t know huh, so I’ll do without a bomb (this is really difficult for me).
In general, my life was not the best, and if there had been an opportunity, I would have been born again (only in a normal family) and would have lived normally.
I realized that it was better not to say anything than to say some kind of bullshit and then for months to hear quotes of my words with the antics of my classmates.
By the way, I am a kind person, I love animals and nature, because they are not people. They can't hurt me. The only people I feel comfortable with are cats <3
I don’t deserve to die, I’m very sorry that I’m taking this step. But understand, it was necessary.
If you want to try to understand me, watch the movie "Class", I am very similar to the main characters.
Oh, I feel so good that I spoke out. I hope that someone will hear and understand me, but fortunately I will already be in a coffin, I don’t give a fuck.
Sorry.
(there may be grammatical mistakes here)
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