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#idk she gets it back idc lol
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In ur girls against god universe do u see Ava and bea having jobs? I mean they’re loaded and saved the world so I get it if they’re retired by 30 lol but I guess if not jobs what hobbies do u see them doing ?
lmfao i think abt this all the time actually! in my practical moments i’m like yah they still help w the ocs etc, i don’t do well writing complicated plot lol so ava still has the halo in a mostly normal way. they tell their friends they “vacation in spain” lol. the ocs is also their family so that’s kind of true.
in my head they have like unlimited within reason catholic church money + bea’s a nepo baby lol so other than that they don’t ~have~ to work. i think ava endearingly might want to go study smth at university for a bit, still live w bea & go to classes part time. idk if she’d rly go get a degree but she’d just wanna see what it’s like (compared to everything? kinda boring, honestly, but fun to bring bea to a frat party once, & ava enjoys some of her classes). ava is obviously really smart but i think she probably works w ocs & jillian etc more than tries to go get an advanced degree or fancy job etc
i think bea is underneath it all extremely nurturing & patient so i love to think that she teaches aikido & kendo to kids part time. ava also loves this bc she’s like bea you got to practice with ME! :) bea loves to teach that aikido is abt discipline & skill & compassion & she talks to children respectfully like they’re just small adults, so obviously all the kids just adore her. i think they also both enjoy languages so maybe something w that.
but if i put them in LA they can be hot & generationally wealthy w mysterious jobs abroad & a little side hustle without any questions lmfao
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how it feels watching that one kpop or anime fan go through crushes on every asian person that enters their life
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nomaishuttle · 10 months
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like itpisses me awfff actually my mom outting me. bc my family on my dads side is like. fairly conservative. and she just went in calling me connor using he him like. dude. do you wanna hse a tiny bit of fuckin tact. i didnt ask her to do that and she NEVER considered what name she should use for me. and like. luckily my extended family Just kinda went with it i think bc they felt guilty for. The zoo. and related events LOL. and theyve been rly good abt it even my papaw and i wasnt sure he would. so yk... but i wish i had like. gotten to choose who knew yk. IDK basically
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widevibratobitch · 6 months
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#vent post vent post lalalala#i wanted to post some pictures from my weekend trip with my friends before its too late but then i saw my fucking face and now i wanna kms#like oh my god. oh my god this is really truly the face im stuck with forever and ever and ever till the day im fuckin rotting in the groun#incredible how unfair life can be lmao (<- girl who is having such incredibly superficial stupid fucking problems but is otherwise#quite privileged but of course that will never be fucking enough for her because she's soooooo fckn stupid and selfish and annoyinggg lol)#i dont know why im so obsessed with it now#like i genuinely remember KNOWING that im kinda ugly (and fat) in high school and being like 'so what lol idc'#so WHY is it such an issue now?????#idk. i just kinda wish i was dead every time i look at my face and realise there's nothing i can do to change it#i can dress in ways that will cover my ugly ass shapeless body. maybe i can even go back to my ed properly this time#and lose some weight. for a time. before i gain back twice as much and the circle begins anew lol#but my face is not gonna change no matter what i do lmao unless i fucking scrape it off with a grater or smash my head into pieces#and like. even if i do get that rhinoplasty (its not gonna change my faceshape anyway. nothing i can do to fix THAT fuckin atrocity)#every time ill look in the mirror i will only be reminded that its fake. and that my natural face was disgusting enough it had to be cut up#to be fixed somewhat.#i just wish i had ONE. just ONE nice thing about my body. literally just one its not even funny lol#and its so fucked up when you look at my mom who was so insanely fucking beautiful when she was my age. like. i cant blame her#cause how could she have known that the genes she'll pass on will not result in anything good lol but also i feel like such a failure#like its not really my fault i got the genes i got. but yknow.#anyway im tired of always being the ugliest person in any group im hanging out with. my cousins? check. my hometown friends? check.#my uni friends? my GOD check (how ARE they all so pretty and skinny??? insane).#god i wish i were dead. like fr fr. im not actively suicidal since i cant bring myself to *do* shit anyway. but i just wish i never existed
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tachiisms · 1 year
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#on like strictly an ooc basis though i know i haven't been here in a while and randomly just popped on to shitpost#'cause laura's post made me laugh (ty! ily!)#but i'm still mostly over on my other blog. i've had a lot going on and like being with my soft girls right now#and also star wars hasn't really been sparking joy recently and it's been making this dash feel claustrophobic in a way idk how else#to really describe? like it's nothing to do with the actual people or characters on this dash it's more just that it's almost all star wars#if that makes any sense at all?#(which is probably stupid because no one really cares about the muses on my other blog so i'm only playing myself here lmao)#(but idc they make me happy and it's fine that they aren't popular)#but i also find that it can be kind of hard to branch out from star wars to get a wider range to rp with on siri#'cause it's mostly just modern type or crossover type verses#and that's been feeling Hard lately just because of the star wars stuff i just mentioned#but i do have a star wars related project with a friend that'll be...sometime upcoming? so i'm hoping that it will spark the joy again#but for now i'm mostly over on my other blog but since i follow a lot of the same people i sometimes see things and pop over here lol#anywhomst if you're at all interested in sigrid from the hobbit or susan pevensie from narnia (or breha who's also star wars)#(idk i'm not having the same problem with breha as siri probably because she's on the multi? anyway back to the point)#then feel free to go follow my other blog which is @viaminvenia but no pressure!! sigrid and susan don't have star wars verses#ily all you're all so talented and such good writers and just *chef kiss* all over the dash#ooc
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savage-rhi · 8 months
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I'm very much a, "fuck yeah and fuck you, I don't need validation! I'm me, cunts!" kinda fella, but sometimes I could use support.
#today i fucked up by reactivating my fb account which i haven't done in 2 yrs just to check on some folks id been sending good thought to#place is depressing everyone is miserable and everything feels fake and my mind is like#LOL this is why we left bitch byeeee#so i deactivated again went to work and idc what anyone says there are folks like me that can and do feel the energy and emotions coming of#people and it can fucking suck especially when so many are disregulated so i got a sensory overload and boss was nice enough to let me take#a bunch of breaks today and even scream in her office cause She Gets It (TM)#the weather is rainy and cold i'm getting so many fibro flares idk how i'm moving anymore#ive missed so many days of work already and it's not even fully winter yet i still have my job and im thankful i have an understanding team#but that doesnt pay the bills im still trying to find a way to pay for that doctor appointment coming up#graduate courses began for college and i think i'm gonna be okay but damn did they throw too much info all at once at me and that made#my adhd brain go WELL SHIT#ive been feeling incredibly lonely and not wanted in so many spaces that im struggling to even communicate with the few that i know do#love me for me and nothing else im trying so so so hard to keep being there for people and to keep loving#people that need it cause i don't ever want another human being to ever feel as miserable and unwanted as i have felt#but im also tired because i feel like thats all anyone ever sees me as just this being that can take their woes away and make them feel#amazing and i love that i can do that and listen to so many traumatic stories and help folks process that trauma my boss and many throughou#life have told me i have a gift for healing people and a vibe to me thats different than most and it feels good being around me but today i#just felt like people keep taking and taking and taking and i dont expect anything back thats not who i am id rather give than receive#but damn it i just wish someone could just give me the biggest hug in the world dont even have to say a thing just hold me and be present#and hold space for me to just feel weightless id cherish that more than anything in the world right now#on a positive note...#my dinosaur vo stuff got traction im getting a new cosplay put together i havent done that in 4 years i got to pet a wild deer i made#a coworker laugh so hard his juice went out his nose and my boss peed a little#im slowly taming another wild flock of turkeys and i got a bag of my favorite takis the guacamole flavor#i got a lot to be thankful for and i acknowledge it#but damn it im tired#thank you for coming to my Ted Talk rant and rave#if you made it this far: you're an incredible human being and i love you#please go treat yo self to something nice and know i love you for you
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ienvieu · 2 years
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god i am so fucking frustrated
#80% of being the oldest sister of a bunch of immature stubborn bitchy siblings is crying your anger away in secret#damned if you try damned if you dont i am sick of it#berated for complaining even just a little and scolded when i decide not to share my struggles anymore like ffs pick your damn mind#compared to cousins compared to neighbors compared to random kids on the internet compared to their younger selves god i just.#and then they go and ask how my day has been and how im feeling gtfo i dont want that#either disown me and hate me or whatever or actually listen to me and not undermine everything i try to do#just pick a fucking side i HATE it when people demonize me and then smother me back to back#like i dont want to sound this whiny but god i wish they'd miscarried me too???#man i sound like a total bitch rn lol idk i just want to leave#i can never seem to win#they dont let me express my exhaustion and anger and sadness and frustration and then they go ahead and wonder why this girl is#acting distant or passive agressive or why she keeps fracturing or bruising her knuckles or why she keeps biting her nails and#chewing on her lips and picking at her skin and just fucking lose it all the damn time#nothing i do is enough i just dont want to be here and i want to leave and take a break for a while but nooo that would make me#a family hater 🥴🥴#and i dont even hate them i just cant stand the way they treat me all the time#i get so confused one minute she's telling me how bad i am and telling me that im wrong and wrong and wrong and how i cant do this#or that or how she used to be so much better than i am now and whatever#and the next she and i are sitting in the kitchen laughing about some random thing#i HATE that. idc if that's oh a 'normal mother daughter relationship' and 'everyone experiences it' and how 'it will pass'#well it hasnt passes and it's been years and im tired of this back and forth and constantly being shamed and i want out. just. out.#and when i tried gathering the courage to tell them i wanted a therapist to talk to she was like ' oh that's expensive and you dont even#look like you need one but if you insist we can pay for it ☹️👉👈 it's okay we will work extra hard to get the money 😖'#fuck that#thanks for once again making me feel like utter shit for asking for some help. again.#which brings me to my next point which is why the FUCK do we have to pay 50 fucking euroes for an hour of therapy??#i can get all of the validation and grounding techniques off the internet for free why the fuck do we need to pay 50€ for talking??#and like mental health is so stigmatized still with my family and my closer friend's family that we both cant tell them anything about it#girlie got clinical depression and she doesnt want to tell her parents bc she knows how they will react#and we both spend nights cry laughing about the fact that i have scars all over me that my parents dont have a single fucking clue about
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ellabsbb · 8 months
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cocky loser stoner modern ellie hc’s
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• such a job hopper. fast food, retail, random places like menards, the zoo
• her car is so shitty and it’s kinda stinky from the weed and maybe a bit dirty.. but she’d so clean it for you and put some air fresheners in the vents <3
• in the not so distant future she totally becomes one of those rich famous streamers and buys joel a house but shh that’s in the future so for now
• also her seat in her car is leaned back so far and so low there’s no possible way that’s comfortable right??
• sorry idk why i keep thinking about the car but also she has snacks in there always! but they’re like. opened, old, stale, half gone.. yeah
• a player, community strap if you will, but like come on can you blame her it’s not her fault she gets bitches (her words not mines)
• will smoke you out and take you to mcdonald’s what more could a girl ask for
• and she’ll pay even though she’s broke 90% of the time
• always texting joel memes he doesn’t understand in the slightest
• tells him about girls she’s been with just to embarrass him LOL
“joel you have to see this girl she had the most juicy-”
“alright that’s enough, i know i didn’t raise you to talk like that.”
• sometimes (most times) she’ll just wake up and throw on whatever she first puts her hands on. and doesn’t even care enough to pretend to be embarrassed when you see her in public in baggy pants with one leg rolled up, the most wrinkled shirt ever, and socks that aren’t even the same length
• refuses to wear any other shoes than her beat up busted up converse. they have several holes. you can see her socks. the shoelaces are torn. come on
• says stuff like she’ll buy you the most expensive gifts when she “makes it”
• you have to force her to put chapstick on and she’s so one of those people that only uses the original one with no fun flavors
• basketball shorts or boxers to sleep kind of girl
• always so warm omg (i am putting my cold feet on her idc)
• in conclusion i need her 🫡
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futurecorps3 · 1 year
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Hiii, could you write a nikokai fic where reader is like in love with kaz but he doesn't really pay attention to her. And then the crows meet sturmhond because of a heist and he takes interest in the reader form the first moment he sae her and makes her fall in love with him. And then whatever you want lol. Maybe kaz being jealous idk.
Sorry for any grammatical mistake, english it's not my first language.
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞
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Masterlist<3
Summary: After years of being in love with the one and only Kaz Brekker, breaking her own heart, Y/N meets someone else... Pairing: Sturmhond x fem!inferni!reader, Kaz Brekker x fem!reader
Warnings: The usual crow violence, DRINKING, jealous Kaz, mean Kaz, "unrequited" love for a little while, Matthias is alive and well like in the books duh but this is ofc before Nikolai becomes king, idc I just want my Fjerdan hunk happy in Ketterdam, curse words, kind of a messy timeline. HURT AND NO COMFORT. Lmk if I missed any.
Word Count: 2.9K!! Requested: Yes
A/N: IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! :( I've been looking forward to getting to this specific request because oh my god, also, I changed it up a little; making Kaz actually be in love with reader but never really trying anything. Tysm for requesting love! Hope you enjoy :)
˚ · • . °
Exhaustion. That's what she felt, and to be honest, it was even more frustrating when Y/N knew she was doing it to herself. Those persistent yet futile attempts at reading Kaz's silence or gaze as something else; a love message, a confession of his sins, any sign of vulnerability reserved for her. However, these attempts, though fervent, ultimately proved fruitless.
How could she confirm what she thought she saw if, after, say, he appeared distressed at her being in danger or fumed when some dick was being extra disgusting at the bar that night; he went back to being his usual cold self?
When she finally obtained concrete evidence that disproved her misconceptions ("Jesper, she prefers black coffee" or "Y/N, could you join me in my office for a moment?" simply to spend time together in quietude), he strategically distanced himself throughout the week, transforming those precious moments of tranquility and companionship into ordinary occurrences, leading her to, somehow, misunderstand them.
Another shot of vodka and the pain her thoughts evoked was replaced by the burning, bitter sensation in her tongue and throat. "A hangover won't make Kaz let you stay behind tomorrow, you know that?" Matthias smiled next to her.
Since he joined the crows, the Fjerdan had taken a special liking to his girlfriend's best friend; she was funny, kind hearted and could keep up his pace in drinking games. Nina couldn't be happier to see her loves get along so well, saying it's her dream come true. "Oh don't even start, Matthias" Y/N answered, feigning annoyance as she poured more of the burning liquid into her glass and pulled out another for her friend.
They silently toasted to nothing in particular and chatted about their books as they usually did. Matthias' romance novel had an interesting love triangle Y/N was eager to read when he was finished. From how he talked about it, the girl knew it was just her type of story. They were in the middle of a playful argument about a plot-hole Y/N thought she found when Kaz approached them.
His usual demeanor seemed a bit... shaken. If you asked the blonde, he'd say he only looked more agitated, but Y/N/N knew better; his hair was covering his forehead slightly, but he wasn't brushing it back. The limp was prominent still, yet he wasn't using his cane. Kaz was in a rush to get to her, maybe?.
"One of your fellow countrymen is starting a turmoil outside, doesn't speak Kerch. Will you please, for the tree's sake, go and talk some sense into his thick blonde skull?" Saints, why did she like him so much? Even like that, Y/N thought he looked rather divine. Matthias stood up from his seat and directed himself to the entrance.
"Since when do you care for what happens outside that door?" She asked with a grin, genuinely curious. "I wouldn't if he wasn't scaring off the pigeons. No wealthy tourist will endure the trouble that some drunk Fjerdan means just to get inside a place full of people that'll take his money" the boy explained, looking down at her.
Kaz's complexion, kissed by the soft glow of the candles, is pale yet flawless, as if untouched by the harshness of the world he inhabits. His sharp, well-defined features give him an air of enigmatic sophistication, further heightened by the way the light dances upon his cheekbones, emphasizing their elegant structure.
Y/N realizes she's staring. She looks away.
The bastard smirks. "Finding something intriguing, are we?" And oh, she wanted to stab him to see if that would wipe the stupid grin he carried. "Oh, please, Kaz. You give yourself too much credit. I was merely lost in thought, contemplating the mysteries of the world. Your face happened to be in the line of sight, that's all."
Quick, sarcastic answer, as if the seconds between her silence confirmed even further what he was saying. He scoffed, drinking the remains of alcohol on Matthias' glass and fixed his hair in the process. "Stop drinking, a hangover won't spare you from our meeting tomorrow".
˚ · • . °
She should've listened. The crashing waves outside only intensified the discomfort, while the salty breeze seemed to carry a tinge of regret. Even the beauty of the sea she was now too used to felt distant and inaccessible, overshadowed by the haze of her post-indulgence remorse.
Nina, taunting Matthias with a mature Ravkan song and Jesper shooting bottles in the warehouse, created an uneasy atmosphere for hungover Y/N. This unsettling environment made it difficult for her to focus on evaluating any potential deals they were to discuss with the privateer Kaz said they were meeting that day. Also, they had been waiting for over an fifteen minutes now! She was surprised Kaz was waiting still.
He checked his pocket watch subtly, sighing at the tardiness of their Ravkan guests. Then, he looked over at Y/N. Even with those deep baggy eyes and with her head on her hands in exasperation, she managed to awaken that odd feeling in his chest. He hated it. No, he despised it.
If he ever accepted that he was down hard for the girl, he could also get over the fact that she, too, liked him. Well, he wasn't dumb! There was no denying that Y/N's actions warmed his heart. He just knew loving was a dangerous thing to do, a weakness he couldn't afford after spending years building a reputation in Ketterdam.
Then came a loud bang on the heave wooden doors of the warehouse. "Fucking finally" Y/N sighed, going to open the door herself before anyone would, wanting nothing but to end this as soon as possible so she could go back home to sleep. She grabbed the handle and pulled, the bright light outside blinding her momentarily before seeing the privateer and his crew.
"Hello gorgeous! Here to see Mr. Brekker. I'm guessing you're one of his associates?" A sharp, slightly deep voice greeted. The girl shielded her eyes from the light and found captain smily offering his hand out. In Ketterdam, rumours ran as quick as blood on pavement; Sturmhond knew that. He needed no introduction. Every person involved in not so legal activities who didn't live under a rock had heard at least once about the dog of the sea.
She took it, shaking gently. "Y/N Y/L/N, but if you prefer nicknames, call me Haepha". Then she stepped aside, pretending not to notice the smirk on Sturmhond's face so his partners could come in. The rumors hadn't done justice to his captivating presence.
The charismatic privateer stood tall, his dark hair falling in unruly waves that added to his allure. His piercing blue eyes seemed to hold a world of secrets, and a mischievous smile played across his lips. Dressed in opulent garments that exuded confidence and flair, Sturmhond commanded attention with every step as his crew and he approached the rest of the crows.
"I'll stick to your name for now doll, too pretty not to use," And the bastard winked at Y/N, making a Shu girl who was walking behind him with the same confidence giggle. The worst thing about pretty men is they know they're pretty, and knew damn well how to get away with being cocky. She knew his type, so she brushed the wink off and walked towards her friends.
Kaz and Sturmhond shook hands. Everyone who was fast enough grabbed a seat in old boxes or even on the floor. Jesper offered Y/N his seat, knowing that the vodka she drank last night was no merciful rival, and stood behind her alongside his boyfriend. Inej lingered sitting in a window near them as Matthias and Nina remained standing, contrary to all the privateers' team.
Kaz started making introductions, all a mere formality, Y/N knew. "You've met Y/N, our inferni. Behind him are Jesper, sharp-shooter, and Wylan, our demo-man. The blonde wall-resembling man over there is Matthias, and Nina is a heartrender. Inej in the window, our Wraith" he pointed, everyone nodding or waving at the dark-haired man.
"A Wraith alright, didn't notice you were there sweetheart!" He pointed out and then introduced the twins; Tolya and Tamar. As well as Anya and Andrei, who were two members of his ship's company who wanted to come by and see who they were working with. When that was taken care of, plans were strategized by both leaders and positions were given to each member.
Y/N knew Kaz was characterized by having plans from A to Z for very elaborate heists, but even this one seemed out of his reach, almost too ambitious. But if Sturmhond's name lived up to the myth, nothing was quite impossible for him and Kaz's love for money could get him to plot even the tiniest detail.
Their objective this time was to steal some kind of jewel called "the moon's tears". It was a gem said to be worth four million kruge, to be bargained for even more; the crows' biggest heist yet. The vault it was in was widely known for its impenetrable security measures, including seemingly impenetrable barriers, intricate lock mechanisms, and a team of highly skilled guards.
Those two were absolutely insane! Even before one considered the noble who owned the vault and therefore the gem they were trying to steal, knew Kaz from the past. It was an extremely peculiar coincidence that a masquerade ball was taking place some distance away from the location of the vault, which represented the perfect opportunity for the work.
This would allow them to exploit the lack of security and sweep the gem away. Nina would ideally take care of the distraction, to keep the nobleman from returning home too quick, but her heartrending abilities would be helpful to make a quick work to make the few officers guarding the vault doze off.
So it became Y/N's job. A job she was to complete with Sturmhond.
After the meeting ended and Y/N's headache had worsened, a deep voice was heard from behind her. She turned to find the charming privateer flashing a smile at her. "Looking forward to working with you, darling" He commented, offering his hand out and all. She took it and shook half-heartedly, eager to just go home and sleep for the rest of the evening.
"Me too, handsome" Irony laced in her tone. "Doesn't seem like it, you alright? You look like a ghost. Lovely, yes, but still ghostly" The comment made her smile, tightening the grasp on his hand but not shaking anymore "Just hungover s'all" "Told you so!" Jesper proclaimed from their side as everyone directed themselves to the door.
The privateer smiled sweetly. "Got any plans this evening?" "Other than rotting in my room until my body stops hurting? Not really. Why?" Y/N looked down briefly, realizing she still hadn't let go of his hand and then released her grasp "Well, if my days at sea have thought me anything other than how to read the stars..." he started, tapping the necklace with a star charm the girl sported.
A "gift" from Kaz (some jewelry that wasn't redeemed from a heist he let her keep). "...is how to cure a hangover. Mind coming with me to a bar? You can decide which". Going to a bar with a complete stranger who had a reputation of being in trouble most of the time and who she were to work with? Sure thing.
"Promise youll make it go away?" "Promise".
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And what a plot twist he was. Jesper had jokingly said to the girl that she shouldn't take a privateer's word but he did termiante her hangover with some strange, black-ish liquid she didn't dare to ask the composition of. Then they drank more.
As the drinks arrived, they raised their glasses, the clink of crystal breaking the spell of their silent connection. Sturmhond smiled, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "To new adventures and unexpected encounters," he proposed, his voice smooth and velvety.
Y/N couldn't help but return the smile, feeling the warmth of excitement spread through her veins. "To embracing the unknown," she replied, raising her glass in agreement. They took a sip, the flavors dancing on their tongues. A comfortable silence settled between them, allowing the sounds of the bar to envelop them. After a moment, Sturmhond leaned in, his voice low and captivating.
"So, Y/N, what brings you to this lawless corner of the world?". He asked, genuine curiosity lacing his words. Y/N's eyes sparkled as she recounted her journey, the challenges she faced, and the dreams that fueled her determination. Sturmhond listened intently, his attention unwavering, as if she held the secrets of a hidden treasure.
As she spoke, Y/N couldn't help but notice the genuine interest in Sturmhond's eyes. He asked thoughtful questions and shared stories of his own adventures, effortlessly weaving tales of daring escapades that left Y/N hanging on his every word.
The conversation flowed effortlessly, a seamless exchange of ideas, dreams, and aspirations. Time seemed to melt away as they delved into deeper discussions, finding solace in the connection they were building. Laughter intertwined with their words, a symphony of shared amusement and understanding.
They became lost in each other's company, entranced by the way their thoughts aligned and their hearts danced to the same rhythm. And as the night wore on, their conversation continued, their new found connection growing stronger with every passing moment.
She couldn't help but think of Kaz, when exiting the bar, and on the way back to The Slat. When would he ever, in a million years, make her feel so seen? How could he? He seemed to be nothing but cold and a bad type of confusing to the girl.
Y/N was not blind, either. Sturmhond was known for his endless romantic encounters with women across the sea, and he was interested in her. Now, she could not deny the guy was a charming boy too pretty for this Earth, sharp as a knife and, as she found out that evening, shared a lot of ideals and interests with her.
Could he maybe work as a rebound? Maybe. Would she shamelessly use him as that? Could be. Having his eyes on her that whole meeting was no coincidence, and she liked his attention. Maybe what mends a broken heart was a handsome privateer.
They agreed to meet up the next day, his treat.
˚ · • . °
Back at the Slat, Kaz was fuming. No, not fuming; seething. A bar outing? She just met him! He could not believe his eyes when they were talking hand in hand like they had known each other from a previous lifetime.
In the little time that had passed since (most of) the crows had returned from the meeting, Kaz had already gotten four drunks kicked out, death-stared a group of dregs twice so they'd shorten their break time to get them to work and downed four vodka shots.
Why was he this mad? She wasn't even his and as far as she knew; he had no intentions of being hers either. The boy couldn't be mad at her, but he was, and Kaz knew very well he was being a big selfish shit. He could not blame Y/N either; the bastard she had been crushing on gives no signs of interest but a privateer handsome as the devil shows up with his attention completely focused on her? Of course she'd fall.
He just hated that feeling.
It's presence looms, heavy and suffocating, wrapping its tendrils around the heart, constricting with an iron grip. It whispers sweet poison into the mind, distorting reality and fueling irrational fears. Like a tempestuous storm, it rages within, lightning crackling with envy, thunder rumbling with resentment. It paints the world in hues of green, tarnishing every joyous moment with a bitter aftertaste.
And then his heart sunk into the depths of his dark soul when he saw them walk in hand in hand. That was the first time Y/N had walked into a room and not looked for him, he noticed. She was laughing at something Sturmhond had said as they walked up the stairs until they reached the door of Y/N's room. He kissed her hand and she kissed his cheek.
The privateer then walked down the stairs, noticing Kaz staring.
"She's one of a kind, that one... Might stay a bit more after the job's done. See you tomorrow, Brekker"
The feeling was now leaving an empty, bottomless void in his soul. He bottomed his shot glass then poured another one.
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Time kept ticking and the void intensified, but Kaz learnt how to deal with it.
He learnt how to deal with it when he kissed her after the job was done.
He learnt how to deal with it when Y/N took a break from the crows to leave with him for six months.
He learnt how to deal with it when she returned from her trip, beautiful tan skin and a diamond on her finger.
He learnt how to deal with it when he saw her crying herself to sleep because she missed him.
He learnt how to deal with it when she left for good.
He learnt how to deal with it when she was named queen of Ravka.
Kaz just learnt how to live with the shame and regret of not recognizing that the one thing he needed was right in front of him, hoping she'd have a place next to him.
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Hi! Thank you so much for reading, hope you enjoyed:) I'm actually sorry for this one...
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Hey love! if you're still accepting requests, could I get an extremely wild, rough and feral nsfw Daemon x wife fem!reader please? (feel free to ignore and sorry if the request is weird, but I'm thirsty for this handsome fictional man who unfortunately doesn't exist)
Frost Bite
Daemon Targayen x Stark!Reader
Summary: You were travelling back to home soil in anticipation of your wolf's heat cycle. Besides the fact that you could not stand the sound of your prince husband's breathing and the fact you were certain he would perish in the cold, there was one more reason why you did not want him to join you: the fact the heat was affecting you too.
Word Count: 5k+
Warnings: Basically PWP, 5k+ SMUT T_T (non-con [daemon touches her while she's asleep], virgin!reader, she cries for various reasons, fingering, choking, biting, degradation kink, corruption kink, spitting, marking, edging, oral [fem receiving], breeding kink, cream pie), RIP feminism, opens with a wet dream, brief mentions of near death experience in a snow storm, dark!daemon (but imo its just canon daemon) fem!reader, wife!Reader, soft!daemon, typos, etc.
A/N: YEAH MINORS DNI. LOL SO I was planning to write this for my part 2 of my Stark!Reader, but i got lazy and didn't want to create a whole plot leading up to the smut, so i removed it all together, which I guess worked out swell for you nonnie, since I was planning something absolutely unhinged. I hope you liked that fic of mine since you're basically getting a p3 of it So here's part 1, here's part 2, but you don't need to read any of them to understand, but i suggest you do for background cos lol this is PWP T_T Next part ig but its a blurb "✨Magic✨" OMG NEXT PART BUT ITS NOT A BLURB "Moon Cycle" Also nonnie, i wanted to tell you albeit asking for smut is pretty awkward HAHAHAH you gotta process these feelings somehow you know. i mean, we could have been criminals, like Daemon, instead but we're not, and that's what matters (unless you are a criminal in which case im closing my eyes) this gif of him is so large on pc but idc he's so hot MATT I WANT YOU SO BAD FUCK OFF if someone snitches to big brother again like in In Your Defense /: Idk if you want to be, but I'm tagging everyone I tagged in the previous fic, as well as the others that commented there SO HI THIS IS SMUT YOU CAN GO IF YOU WANT LOL HAHHAH @aralezinspace @em-the-lurker @blue1006 @mukduk-not-murder @min-jianhyung @deniixlovezelda @moonmaiden1996 @thatmysteriousblog
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I caught him. I caught him doing the very thing I dreaded to catch him do. The one thing I accused him of doing every night, though in my heart of hearts I wished he did not... not that I would ever admit it to his face. Because why would I? Admitting it would mean- "You want me," Daemon heaved against the neck of the woman beneath him. He cranes his neck up as he thrust into her, smirking, eyes dark, "you want this to be you," he pants as he stares at me, "don't you?" I am in my place, frozen, watching and hearing the woman come undone underneath my husband who kisses her tenderly. "Daemon," I whimper helplessly, teary eyed, "Daemon please." "Fuck off."
I jolt awake, sweat sheening my neck and chest. I turn to my bed, empty, because though Daemon insisted we sleep together and I could not fight him in his decision, he did not return to me until nigh dawn.
I wipe my face as I recall my intensifying dreams.
It seems my travels up North would come quicker than anticipated.
And as much as I wanted to tell him I told you so, oh to all the gods, how badly he deserved it, there was no time for me to gloat when Daemon did the very thing I warned him not to, fall into the icy river.
It was instantaneous. The cracking of the ice, the splashing of water, the scream that escaped me. Maybe I should have left him in the cave we kept Caraxes, who he insisted on bringing. But then again he would have insisted on joining me to the cabin, the way he insisted on joining me here up North in the first place.
And now I had to deal with the consequences of his actions.
It was sheer miracle that I got him out of the river without falling into it myself, sheer stupidity of me to rid him of his coat and offer him mine when the blistering snow storm was not relenting, and quite clearly the sheer will of the gods that both of us made it to the cabin... barely.
The moment we walked in, I shut the door and scrambled towards the fireplace. As my fingers shivered, I thought of Havoc, and how at least I know she would find mine and Daemon's corpses if ever we do not make it. I had sent her away when the storm came out of nowhere because we had to find cover for Caraxes, and she would not have been any of help to us if she were here with us anyway.
My poor pup. She would be heartbroken if she saw me frozen. And Caraxes...
I curse the flint, I curse the cold, I curse the gods, and I curse Daemon for every time I failed to light a fire. I thanked the Stranger for finally allowing me the mercy of my eventual success.
Once the fire was burning steady, I get on my feet and run to Daemon, hauling him over to the fire roughly in haste where he helpelessly kneels in front of. He could do nothing but shiver as I scramble to get some dry clothes and sheets for the both of us.
I yank him closer to the fire and begin to undress him.
Seeing as he is nothing but docile to my actions and how his skin was turning grey, I began to grow frantic, "you cannot fucking die, you prick!"
I rip his top off and quickly clothe him, "I did not go through all the trouble of marrying you for nothing. I refuse to be forced into another marriage because your stupid ass froze to death."
Daemon's shudder comes out in a thick condensation.
"Fuck," I whimper, as I struggle to get him out of his boots and breeches.
I shrivel up at the feel of his frozen fingers then brush against my arm and I shake my head rapidly, realizing there was no choice. The only way I can warm him quickly enough is if I share my own.
I strip him naked, pulling off the shirt I struggled to put on him as well, then wrap him in a fur blanket in the meantime. I then take off my own clothes and hiss at the nipping cold.
The fact Daemon does not even look at my naked form strikes a chord in me.
I straighten him up and fix the blankets on his legs and thighs before I sit on his lap. I press my bare chest against his and whimper at his dangerously concerning coldness.
He shivers against me as his face rests helplessly on my shoulder. His breath that hits my skin is not even hot.
"Remember, you're too fucking stubborn to die," I say as I wrap my legs around his torso and graciously place his fingers beneath my bottom.
His lack of warmth literally brings tears to my eyes.
I reach out for the other blanket and wrap it over myself, consequently Daemon, before I wrap my arms around him and breathe hotly against his face.
I rub his back, "will you allow irony to take you? The hot blooded prince defeated by the cold?"
He releases a shiver and moves his head. He mutters something, but his quaking body does not allow me to make sense of it.
"Do not waste your energy," I chide.
And so for a long moment, we stay like this, wrapped in each other's arms, sharing each other's heat. I do my best to warm him. I even nuzzle against him, the way Havoc did me, just so I could warm his stupid face.
Daemon finally finds it in him to lean against my touch, and when he does, he mutters under his breath, "irony-" shudder, "-would be if the- N-Northern princ-ces-s-ss died in the cold."
My face contorts and yet I cannot help but chuckle at him, glad he can sputter his nonsense again, "then I should make Caraxes burn you for your stupidity."
I shiver when I feel his icy lips kiss my neck. Goosebumps form on my skin when I feel the hot breath that follows. My hands rake up to his nape, where I then dig my fingers as I pull away.
"N-n-nno!" he stutters, hands coming around my hips to brace me tightly, "I ss-swear I'm not warm yet-t-t."
I pull back again though to face him when I said, "I only wanted to tell you," I lean my forehead against his face, "I fucking told you so, you stupid idiot."
I rest my face on his shoulder and close my eyes, knowing I would not be off him any time soon.
I dream about him. I dream about kissing his shivers away. I dream about pulling the fur blanket that separated our legs away, and riding him until he was warm.
I dream about how good he feels, and how he burns inside me. I dream about calling his name, unlike how I did in my other dreams. I was no longer calling out in betrayal, I was calling out in pleasure.
Daemon.
Daemon.
"Daemon," I trail off in a groan, willing my heavy eyelids open. I feel pressure building up inside me before I understand what's happening.
I not know how, but I am laid on a bed, head on a pillow, form still naked. Daemon is sat up beside me, peering down at me and his hands.
I whine.
His fingers-
"Oh fucking hell," he groans as his other hand begins to knead at my breasts, "you feels so good wrapped around my fingers, I-"
I cut him off with my squeak, hands flying to his arm, thighs closing shut, squeezing this hand in between my thighs.
"Daemon," the dazed quality of my voice is gone.
He tilts his head, face twisting, a challenge.
When I struggle and wrangle against him, all it takes is his hand on my throat to make me go still. I barely manage a choke and my breath continues to leave me as his fingers quicken their pace inside me.
He only releases me after I shake and shudder when I come.
It is overwhelming and nothing at all like I have dreamed or imagined, unlike all the times I've touched myself in secret. It was intense but there was a shame tied to it.
My entire body is hot and tears prick my eyes at his relentless ministrations.
"You were too fucking ready for that," Daemon mutters dryly as he quickly pulls away and shifts in his spot, "how long have you imagined fucking me, hmm?"
Before I even have the brain to do something, he crawls down the bed, "was it when you caught me touching myself to you?" He sinks down, grabbing my legs, "or have you done it before and withheld me of your sweet cunt for no fucking reason?"
All at once, he brings his face between my legs and begins to lick all the slickness off my pulsing core.
"DAEMON!" I scream, pressing my thighs close as I push myself up on my elbows, trying to break free of him.
He ignores me and forces my legs open even as I kick them in protest, "you will not deny me something you so clearly want yourself."
He grunts and pushes my legs down before grabbing my hands that were shoving him away, "you fucking bitch," he grips me tightly, "you will not find it in yourself to fight me off once I make a whore out of you."
I growl at his words, feeling my stomach drop along with my tears because of it.
I was realizing just how strong he really was, and how in moments where our arguments got a bit physical, he has probably holding back. The revelation of this does not cease my attempts at freeing myself, but it is as pointless as I feared.
Daemon rises up from his spot, nearing me, up until he is breathing against my cheek and rubbing his hardened length against my wetness.
I turn away from him, unable to really do anything else and shudder as he speaks, "you said it yourself, you did not go through all this trouble marrying me for nothing."
I screw my eyes shut, feeling tears fall, "Daemon."
He shushes me, pulling my arms up above my head, "you should not worry. I refuse to die now that I know of your lust."
I whimper as he rolls his hips against me, "still, the idea of someone claiming you- fuck-" he groans gutturally, "had I died..." he trails of in another groan, "someone else would have gotten my prize and it would have been all be your fault."
Daemon squeezes my wrist in one hand then grabs my jaw, forcing me to turn to him. I keep my eyes shut though as he heaves hotly, "I should utterly ruin every part of you so you can never have anyone but me. Though make no mistake, I would never let that happen as I so fucking breathe."
"Hypocrite," I scoff.
He laughs and I tense at the feeling of his vibrations, "she speaks."
I dare to look at him as I pant, "you do not desire me. You're just a spoiled brat who merely wants to wet his cock, just like how you do every night."
"Oh," he groans, "is this jealousy I hear?" He squeezes my cheeks, "is my pretty whore jealous that she is not the only one?"
"Fuck you!" I manage out though muffled.
Daemon laughs at the feel of tears rushing down his fingers, "do not cry, foolish wife. I'll have you know I have not wet my cock ever since I called out your name when I fucked someone else before our wedding day."
He releases my face. I attempt to even out my breath.
"I hadn't even realized until she asked me who-"
"And you think you deserve an award for that?!" I quip through my heavy breathing.
He lets out a laugh that makes me whimper, "I think you ought to know that mine own want for you has made everyone else undesirable," he licks my cheek, making me pull my head away from him, "I have been so pent up in want and for what? Because you're too bull headed to allow me anything other than my lonely hand?"
I try to wrangle out of his grip again, and he presses his whole body on me in response, "it's quite adorable that you still have it in you act like you didn't just call my name out loud while you dreamt of fucking me."
He rubs his nose against my jaw, "you wanna know how I know?"
"Fuck off-"
"You were rutting against me like a hussy," he sighs, "by the gods, had I known you were so wanton at night, I would have never granted you the insult of sleeping alone."
I could feel myself burn hotter with each word that leaves his lips despite myself. I did not want him to catch me like this, but there was no use; I was already caught.
As Daemon rocks his hips on mine, he hisses, undoubtedly feeling how much wetter I had gotten was beneath him.
"Fuck," he trails off, "here's what going to happen," he whispers, rutting against me rougher.
I cannot for the life of me withhold my whimper.
He chuckles as he presses his face against mine, "I'm going to make you come with my tongue and then I'm going to fuck you until you cry."
"Daemon, please stop-"
"Your heartbeat against my cock and how fucking wet you are disagrees with your protest, little liar," he croons. He lifts his head, then leans his forehead against mine, "don't worry, my little virgin, you will not cry because it hurts, you will cry because you'll want it so bad that it hurts."
"Daemon-"
"You will not refuse me," he whispers, though it is anything but sweet, "not when there is not a sliver of doubt in my mind that you want this too."
He brings his hands to my neck again and I wait for his grip to tighten, but it does not, "now say it."
I look up at him as my breathing quickens.
"Yield," he commands, breathing heavily all of a sudden.
I look up at him feeling my belly swirl in ways I could not ever explain.
"Admit to both our ears that you burn for me just as I have been fucking burning for you."
I yelp when he puts pressure on my throat then releases it.
"Say it," he barks.
"I-"
"Say you want me," he says softer this time.
I am disarmed by his quick change in tone and a shiver leaves me as the cold finds its way to my belly as he pulls away. Daemon releases my hands then begins to crawl down. His eyes are fixed on my as he mutters once more, "say it."
I shudder as he presses my thighs against his cheeks then whispers, almost begging, "say it."
I turn away from him and close my eyes, awaiting his next actions, for it was not like I could stop him if I refuse.
"Say it," he urges louder, "you know you want to."
I clench my jaw, "just do what you want and be done with it."
He growls, and goosebumps form on my skin when I feel him bite at the inner most part of my thigh. I grip at the sheets at the feel of teeth and tongue. I bite my lips tightly to keep myself from making any noise.
"I should, shouldn't I?" Daemon mutters.
I yelp and look down at him when his finger strokes my core.
His eyes are dark as he airily chuckles at my reaction, "after all I have given you my name, my Targaryen queen. You are no longer your own, you are forever mine."
I watch him as he lifts his head up and kisses my sopping heat. I flinch when he nips at me, drawing my nub out with his teeth. He lifts his head as he releases my flesh. His chin is glistening with my slick as he says, "I want you."
My breath leaves me when he says this.
"And I know you want me too, but I have to-- I need you to say it." He repositions himself in my thighs, "you are after all married to maniac," he breathes against me, "now, say it."
He shakes my thighs, "SAY IT!"
"I want you," I snap, "Daemon, I-" a loud cry rips out of me before I can even continue.
The sound of him lapping his tongue on me, eating me out as if I was his final meal, was somehow louder than my cries. I cannot help but so violently react to him as he devours me. He forces me still in his grip and fights off the movement of my thighs with his face.
It seems as though my admittance has reduced me into nothing but needy sounds.
Without another thought, my hands reach down at him and dig into his silver hair. I arch my back and pull at him when his tongue flicks into me.
"Fucking slut," he mutters, squeezing my thighs as he pulls me apart.
I scream out his name as he digs his face deeper into me. I lift my head up when he pulls away to laugh, "look at you, rutting against me like the needy whore you are."
I don't have time to find offence in his words because I still, not even realizing I was in fact moving my hips against him. He laughs as he continues his work, leaving me no time to feel embarrassment and only hot pleasure.
He is fucking good at what he does. He's so fucking good that my mind wanders where it should not. How much practice has he gotten to be this good? It is precisely because of this that I finally break, "all for you, Daemon," I grab his cheeks, "all for you-- all mine."
I do not see how his eyes dart up to me for I then throw my head back and whine. I feel myself come close to my undoing, "fuck, Daemon, don't stop."
I shriek when I bites me.
Just as I am inching so close, all at once, he pulls away from me.
I pant and stiffen as I hear and feel him spit on me. Much like all other moments, I do not have time to react. When I turn to him, he grabs my legs and shoves me to my side.
I begin to panic when he rises to his knees.
"I'll be fucking damned if I don't make you come on my cock right now," he grunts, making my eyes drop down to the very thing, erect, hard, and angry.
"Get on your knees, bitch," he blurts, though he doesn't give me much of a chance to as he drags me up into the position he wants me by my hips.
I haven't even propped myself up on my arms yet when he unceremoniously begins to pound into me.
I am certain if anyone could hear us in the middle of this storm, they would think I was mad, or worse, being tortured.
"I'm going to breed that prurient wolf in you, just as I'm sure your wolf, Havoc, is being bred right now."
I growl at the idea and feel my belly tighten at his words.
Daemon groans before he chuckles, "that's it, isn't it?"
His relentless thrusts begin to grow sloppy. Suddenly, he yanks me by my hair and lifts me up. His other hand slaps to my throat to offer painful support as he pulls me up against him.
I choke on my spit when my form presses against him with difficulty. He sinks down on his knees, my core wrapped around his length as he shifts me in a snug position atop him.
His hands make their way to my breasts to roughly grope them. His teeth sink down on my shoulder.
I release a wild sound as my own hands come on top of his. I am left moaning at how his mouth sinks into my skin.
Daemon makes sure to suck hard before pulling away. For a moment he catches his breath before speaking, "you did not want me here because you are affected by your wolf's heat, aren't you."
The way I begin to slowly bounce on top of him is enough of an answer to him.
He laughs as his hands depart from my tender breasts, one going down to my sensitive nub, the other sealing my throat again, "you are a fucking selfish bitch for keeping your cunt from me."
My breathing becomes arduous when he tightens his grip around me.
"You would have preferred to touch yourself to the thought of me?" he questions as he rubs on my sensitive nub.
"Daemon," I gasp, pushing my head back as his lips latch on my neck again.
He ceases the moment of his fingers as he finishes grazing on my skin. "Yes, my pretty whore?" he mutters in between his kisses, "what do you want, hmm?"
My breathing strains when his hand tightens around my throat more. I catch my breath when he releases his grip to push my hair off to the side, "tell me what you want me to do to you."
I call out his name. He calls out mine.
I find myself grabbing his hands as I moan out, "I want you to fuck me."
Without another word, I am thrown down to the bed. The only reason I'm still on him is because of his hands that latch on my hips.
I am nothing against his strength. He handles me like a ragdoll, fucking me with absolutely no regard and nothing else in mind.
I make sounds that mean nothing. His name is polluted by my whimpers and cries that you cannot make head or tail of.
I would not last any longer with how he was handling me, even if I wanted to, even if I tried.
"That's it my easy bitch," he pants, "come around me like the needy whore you are."
"Daemon-"
"Your eager cunt will take my seed well when I fill you up," his one hand leaves my hip and rips my head back by my hair again, "don't you think, pretty wife?"
"Yes," I reply without thinking, "yes, yes, yes, yes-"
"And you will give me your pups," he mutters, "bare my dragons, like a dutiful wife will you not?"
My only response is my body breaking orgasm. I shiver beneath him, falling powerless as I scream his name and crumble, absolutely boneless.
Daemon lets out a string of curses as he milks out my reaction for all he's got.
He does not waver once bit and it maddeningly delicious.
My voice hikes up when I feel him release inside me not too late after.
"Fucking come slut," he barks as he snaps his hips in me, "take it all just like that."
I bury my screams in the cushions he presses on, unrelenting. When he finally does grow sloppy, I take a moment to catch my breath and relish the feel of him.
I whimper when he pulls away and slaps my ass.
"The absolute mess you've made of yourself," he coos, as he rubs the skin he slapped.
I can feel myself leaking, I can feel it all over my legs, on the sheets, and I could practically feel his pleased smile as he watches the lewd display. I could not bring myself to care at all though, not when my legs begin to fall.
I squeak when Daemon rearranges me on the bed. He is not at all as rough as he was with me a while ago, but his strength and my lack thereof does not really allow him to be gentle.
He falls onto the side of the bed next to me and gathers me into his chest. When I roll over to him, I groan at the feeling of my wet thighs pressing together.
"Do not make issue of that," Daemon says as he watches me squirm. He pulls me close to him, arm over my shoulders. His other hand hooks behind my knee, dragging me atop him. I whimper and push my hand on his chest when I feel core empty out on his thigh.
He does not allow me to pull away and I turn to him because of this. Daemon forces me close against him, "are you so haughty over my come that you cannot bare the thought of it-"
"But it's getting everywhere," I start off loudly but end with a whisper.
Daemon's nostrils flare as he shakes his head, "I should sure hope so."
I feel my cheeks burn and so I decide to hide my face in his chest.
His laughter intensifies, and I do not enjoy how my head bounces on his ribcage because of it.
"Oh meekness suits you well, my dear."
I weakly mumble, "fuck off."
His amusement continues as he rubs my arms, "you mean, 'I want you to fuck me, Daemon.' "
"I did not say it like that!" I quip, lifting my head as I turn to him, finally making him cease his stupid laughter. The sight of his stupid smug face still glimmering in slick renders me frozen.
Suddenly I am aware of how cold the room still was.
"Pray tell, how did you say it?" he hums, pushing hair behind my ear.
I furrow my brows and press my cheek on his chest again, admitting lowly, "I didn't say your name at the end."
"My," he draws shapeless figures on my skin, "I'm glad to know the moment is burned in your very being."
"Fuck off," I mutter under my breath, scratching my eye. It dawns onto me that my face was equally as wet as Daemon's. Heat rises up my face again when I realize I really did cry because of how good he felt.
"Don't fret," he sighs, "there is a reason why you should not worry yourself about how your pretty cunt is leaking blood and come. I shall fuc-"
I turn to him in concern and push myself up.
Daemon furrows his brows and shakes his head, "it is normal," he soothes, grabbing my cheek, "or did you just forget your maidenhood was still intact after imagining fucking me?"
I am suddenly aware how real everything was. My husband has finally gotten me to consummate our marriage and all his talk of me bearing his seed could may well come true. My chest begins to constrict as my mind floods with endless scenarios.
"Well, if you start frowning like that, I might actually feel bad," Daemon mutters, lifting himself up on his elbows, "what's wrong?"
I look at his concerned expression and find myself speaking before I realize, "did you mean it?"
"Mean what?" he clarifies quickly.
"That you want me," I quip just as fast.
He stares at me for a moment, as if he was taken aback or measuring the truthfulness in my voice. When a prolonged moment passes between us, he realizes I was serious.
"Fuck," he drops his head back, "it must be exhausting to be a woman with your overthinking."
"Well, pardon me for not-"
"You are pardoned," he blurts, making me whimper when he suddenly flips us over.
I am beneath him again. He does nothing but press his weight on me, but I struggle beneath him, not enjoying the idea of remaining in an uncomfortable position.
He misreads my intentions and hinders me from moving, as he wraps his arms around me, "I just told I want you, that I burn for you, that I want you to mother my children. Do you honestly think I am one to say that to anyone?"
I gulp as he shifts to nestle his face in the crook of my neck, "I..." he breathes against my skin. He does not continue as he opts to kiss my neck instead.
When I move to wrap my own arms around him, he speaks again, "I am at your mercy. You saved me from freezing to death when you could have easily decided to rid of me."
I press my cheek against him and begin to comb through the long hair on his back, "I was serious about my distaste to remarry."
"Well, you will not," he quickly retorts, "you will have me until the end."
I bring my legs around him as I release a sigh, "consider me overjoyed by the thought."
He chuckles as he shifts, "you do not sound-"
"I did not want to admit it," I cut him off, "but I think I..." I turn to him as he lifts his head, "I think I... care for you, Daemon... I-"
"Love you," he finishes, staring at me with an unreadable expression.
And for the first time since our nuptials, he kisses me. He kisses me not because he has to, not for the sake of showing everyone present, but because he wanted to, for the sake of showing me.
He is nothing but warmth, nothing but fire, nothing but him. Daemon is not sweet, but in this moment he put even honey to shame.
He begins to stir on top me, though he makes sure his lips do not leave mine. It is because of my moan that we are broken apart, the moan that leaves me when I feel him slip inside me.
"Daemon-"
"You know how I fuck," he sighs, rubbing his nose against mine, "but now we'll both know how I make love."
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skoff-the-artist · 1 year
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TFHAU Hairstyles pt.1
(w explanations +watch closely for DETAILSSS)
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Ratchet is my all time fav, so I drew a lot of hairstyle changes for him
S1 design is actually my very first design of his hair, so I wanted to honor that!
S2 is my fav design for his hairstyle, and also glasses, yeah, I feel like during the og s2 he'd become comfortable enough to use human stuff. And his hair is a bit messier, too.
S3 is my hc tied to his stay on the Nemesis. Y'know, long hair needs some time, and when you're out of time working for your enemy, well! Also I feel like Knockout would be kind enough to cut his hair, so no one has the will to pull on it Megatron in all caps
After is him after the events of the tfp movie, his hair is a bit grown out from S3 (don't mind the long orange locks, they're cute idc)
Idk if S-E one needs an explanation, he tied his hair so it wouldn't get in the way, that's all
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Starscream's hairstyles are a lot simpler....
S1 his prime lol, his hair is styled perfectly. Gorgos
S2 bish is HOMELESS. Literally. No time for hair. No.
S3 he's back to the Decepticons, he doesn't mind the length but now it looks kinda neat. And also he's too traumatized to care for his hairstyle now
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Arcee! I don't feel like she would change her hairstyle often, but she definitely cut her hair after Cliffjumper died. Everyone here is traumatized, what!!
That's all for now, I'm going to make a pt.2 soon :))
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nereidprinc3ss · 1 month
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BESTIE. I was just casually thinking about your whole dybmn series and now I’m wondering, as both reader and Spencer become more confident with their spicy dynamics, what kind of lover would Spencer become with her? New k!nks, maybe?, I JUST genuinely think that Spencer is so whipped for her that he would definitely use toys and anything else, not only to experiment but to get to know and find out about all of her secret facets.
I believe she would be his “creation” like he would be so proud to see her development in her confidence in spicy times like smirking all over as she does anything to please him and he’d be like “yeah, I created that” because I’M BITING MY PILLOW RIGHT NOW and gonna dig up a hole after this to hide myself because my thoughts are so hideous. Girlie, what did you do to me? I wasn’t like this. 😩
oh let’s discuss
18+ long ass rambling and things i think about A Lot ……..
in my opinion (which is not the end all be all everyone can perceive them however they’d like) reader and spencer definitely bring out more sexually adventurous sides of each other like they just have a shit ton of chemistry and for a while ithink spencer would just be easing reader into sexuality so nothing that crazy would happen aside from the power dynamics we see pretty much from the start. i think those would definitely get stronger and occasionally more variable. im not usually into sub!spence but i think there would be times he would definitely allow reader to have more control (i don’t ever think he’d be like calling them mommy lmfao) but aside from that i could also see him veering VERY rarely in a slightly harder!dom direction. like he’ll never hurt or seriously degrade you but in p3 reader says something about liking it when he acts like they belong to him and he was really into that. as the relationship progresses i think he would almost start taking more ownership of r’s body in a way, like obviously nothing is ever nonconsensual but he just knows you so well that it’s like… well he knows you better than you know yourself sooo you let him call the shots, but at his core i think spencer is forever oriented to please. he just wants to make you feel good, that’s always gonna be his goal, so he’s always going to listen and even if the power dynamic is weighed in his favor you are actually always the one in control bc he’d do anything for u lol
in terms of kinks…. idk, i never really see spencer as a super kinky guy? like he just knows too much about paraphilia and obviously sexual violence ties into a lot of his job so i sincerely doubt he’d find giving or receiving pain arousing beyond like slapping your ass or you scratching his back or whatever. love is always at the heart of sex for him and that’s going to be the most important part, he’ll never be able to see you just as a body. he’ll always see you as the person he’s in love with and there are things he’s simply not willing to do to the person he loves.
because of his trauma he’s super duper hesitant about bondage BUT i think he wouldn’t be completely opposed to very light restraints on you or him, he’d just have to be in a specific mood. i also never see him as being someone who’s super into toys because he’s such a luddite, he can barely stand having an email i doubt he’s going to have an extensive collection of sex toys. but he would so use your vibrator on you or make you use it on yourself in front of him again if he’s in a very specific mood
oh but YES he DELIGHTS in having defiled and corrupted you. idc idc im not accepting criticism on this. like he spoils you so much that you’re used to getting him whenever you want and so you’re not very subtle about it. if you get all needy in public and start draping yourself all over him and giving him looks and pulling on his sleeve because you want to go home he’ll fuck you in rossi’s bathroom because he wants to encourage your lewd behavior.
obviously he has boundaries tho and he has respect for you and the people around him like he won’t do anything that draws attention and he’ll only ever do things he knows he can get away with without anyone else noticing
later seasons spence also LOVES when you leave marks on him he thinks it’s cute how you mark your territory and he’s not at all embarrassed if there is a hickey above his collar at work. in his mind it’s like. why would he care about other peoples opinions on his sex life when they have nothing to do with it god i think about this all the time
anyway im sorry if this was disappointing😭 idkidk, thank you for asking about my thoughts tho bc i am always down for headcanons
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She Keeps Me Up (Nickelback)
Summary: You are Rhys's little sister (only by like 7-8 years), and you and Cassian have been flirting with each other for the last few months. You want it to go further but he's your brother's best friend and he probably only sees you as a sister anyway. Little do you know, Cassian can't stop picturing you in not-so-innocent scenarios.
Word Count:  2.5K
Warnings: SMUT, 18+, might be some cringe happening so I apologize, dirty talk, oral (female receiving), light choking, and idk other interesting things. 
A/N: First time posting on here! Idc if you don't like this cuz I do lol. Anyway, enjoy Cassian ;)
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The sweat is pouring down your face and neck, despite the cold, snowy night air around you. You’ve been out here for hours with a sword in your hands, running through the training drills you’ve seen the males do every day. Up, over, down, up, side, in, down, repeat. 
You are so focused on getting the movements right, you don't hear the footsteps approaching. “Well, look who I found,” says a low voice behind you. 
Your heart races as you spin on your heel, holding your weapon level with the stranger's midsection. As you take him in, you recognize the winged male before you. “For the love of the Mother Cassian! You fucking scared me.” You say without lowering your sword. 
Cassian chuckles, looking you up and down. You are wearing leather training gear, with your raven hair tied back in an elaborate braid. Your wings are nowhere in sight, and the moon is reflecting off your sapphire eyes. 
You two stay like this for a few seconds, him standing in front of you as you keep your blade trained on him. You're the first to speak. “What are you doing out here Cas?” you lower the Illyrian sword, sheathing it at your hip, then cross your arms as you glare at him.  
His gaze is piercing, but you’ve seen it so many times that you're unfazed by it. “I was looking for you. Rhys noticed that you weren’t in your room, and sent me out to find you.” He grins. “But I never thought I’d find you with a sword in your hand, going through the moves better than any of the males your age.” he steps towards you, so you take a step back with a small smile on your face. 
“Well, you’ve found me, but I’m not going home till I get this down pat.”  You say as you reach for your sword. Cassian takes another step forwards, so you take another one backward. 
“I don’t think so, y/n. You can finish up tomorrow morning in town where the animals of these forests can’t get you.” He smirks, but you see a glint of something other than his usual arrogance in his eyes. Is that actual concern? 
Deciding you don’t want to play fair, you take a step closer to close the distance between the two of you. You can see his breath coming out in clouds and the damn smirk that’s still on his gorgeous face. You stand on your toes so you’re close to his face and whisper, “I’ll go with you, but only if you can catch me.” without giving him time to register what you said, you take off into the dark woods.
Cauldron boil him alive. Cassian knew you’d be in the forest, you always were, but he never thought that he would find you looking like a warrior goddess in those oh-so-tight leathers, wielding a real Illyrian sword like it was nothing. Mother above, you were beautiful. He almost didn't want to disturb you, but Rhys had been worried, so he’d bring you back to the house. Then you closed the space between the two of you, and he started to come up with other ideas that should not be going through his head. Gods, he wanted you so bad. But you were Rhys’ sister so it could never happen. That Rhysand would know about, anyway. He was about to cross the line when you turned the other way and disappeared. 
“Fuck!” Cassian exclaimed. He scanned the dark woods around him, but you were gone. Looking up at the stars, he started to laugh. You want to play? Then game on. 
You're running through the thick trees. You can hear Cassian laughing in the distance and smile to yourself. You know he's not going to go down without a fight, so you pick up your pace, looking around and keeping your senses on high alert for animals and Illyrians alike. You reach a tall tree just outside of a cave and decide to trick him further. 
You summon your wings as you run toward the cave. You only go in a few steps and then fly out and up a tree. Putting your wings away, you perch on a branch, waiting for Cassian to find your tacks and enter the cave. 
You're not sure why you have to constantly tease him, that's just how your relationship has always been. But the last few months have felt different. They have felt like you're not just throwing words back and forth anymore. The tension you feel when he walks in a room, the way your stomach lurches when he hits you with his signature lopsided grin, or how when he looks at you it seems to light you on fire.
 Oh how you’ve wished to cross the line of friends and be more, but how could he feel the same? He’s your brother's best friend and has known you your whole life. He probably only thinks of you as Rhysands annoying younger sister. He was sent out here to fetch you after all. 
A snapping sound from the ground brings you back to the present. You assume it’s Cassian, having followed your footprints. But the creature you see is not your handsome Illyrian. 
Your heart beats faster when you see the sheer size of the beast. It’s covered in fur, with a tail and a massive body. Its head is about the size of a boulder, and with the light from the moon, you can see long talon-like teeth protruding from its mouth. It's sniffing at your footprints in the snow leading into the cave. It disappears from sight as you slowly make your way down the tree where you were hiding. 
You have to find Cassian. And as if the Mother herself was listening, you catch a glimpse of his wings out of the corner of your eye. You quietly make your way to him. He has his back to you, so you sneak up and put your hand over his mouth so he won't make a sound. 
Cassian freezes. Then in a blur of movement, you're pinned to the snowy forest floor with Cas on top of you. 
Cassian's heart is racing as he pins the person down. He's been on edge since he saw very large animal tracks heading in the same direction as yours. He was almost frantic scouring the trees for you. But as he looks at who he has pinned, he heaves a sigh of relief. You are not being eaten alive. 
Your eyes are dilated as you look up at him, smiling slightly. 
“We have to get out of here,” Cassian whispers. You nod your head as he gets off of you. But you're pulling him back down so he's flush against your chest.
Cassian looks at you with questioning eyes but you answer with a searing kiss.
You’re not entirely sure what came over you. Him pinning you down and looking at you the way he was. You had no words to describe what you felt at that moment. You just kissed him.
His mouth was hot and his lips chapped from the cold air. At first, you thought he was going to pull away and look at you like you were crazy, so you started to pull away yourself. But before you could fully detach your lips, his mouth came down hard on yours. There was heat and passion in the kiss. A hunger you thought he didn’t feel, but with the fierceness, he slid his hands up your shirt and groaned into your mouth which made you realize that you were not the only one who was desperate for the other. 
You broke the kiss reluctantly, looking into his dark eyes. “We should probably go back before that creature I saw gets us.” you manage to say between your pants. Cassian simply nods and you are up in the sky. 
Cassian always prided himself on being able to keep his composure, but flying back to Windhaven with you in his arms, kissing his neck, and winding your fingers through his unbound hair was going to shatter him. He lands hard on the doorstep, letting you stand on your own. He pushes the door open to find the house empty. 
You walk over to the kitchen table, where a note is placed. You turn to face him, reading what is on the paper. “Rhysand had to go back to Valaris, so we have the house to ourselves.” The smile you gave him was pure sin. 
Cassian didn’t have control over his own body when it closed the distance and connected your lips to his. His hands went straight to your waist to pull you closer, as yours wound through his wind-swept hair. The noises that came from your mouth had Cas wrapping your legs around him and moving to the closest bedroom. 
What Cassian would never be able to forget was how much he loved it when you said “What’s wrong with right here on the counter?” His knees almost gave out. He set you on the edge of the counter while sliding his hands up your training shirt to take it off. You were just as eager as you undid the laces of his pants, making him lean into your touch and groan. 
He was big. You’ve been with males before, but never one who compared to Cassian. He was working on your tight pants as you started kissing his neck, leaving marks along his jaw and shoulder. He tasted like night air and sweat, and Mother was it sexy. Keeping your hand in his unbound pants, you moved to get closer, but he held you still.
“You keep doing that love, and this will be over far sooner than I want it to be,” Cassian growled in your ear, making a surge of heat go straight to your core. 
Cassian pulled down your leggings and sucked in a deep breath, and you remembered that you had nothing on underneath them. What can you say, it's more comfortable to train with just the leggings. Next thing you know, you're laying flat on your back and Cassian has his head between your legs, looking you dead in the eye. 
“If you want me to stop, I will.'' The look on his face is one of the most serious you’ve seen. You nod your head.
“I don’t want you to stop Cass.” You reply with a shaky breath. 
He smirks and dives in. 
He licks your slit and feels you shiver and gasp at the action. So he does it again, and again. You taste so good, he’ll never be able to get enough of you, and by the way you’re moaning and gripping his hair, you’re loving this. His hands move up your thighs to your hips and squeeze. At the same time, he bit down on her clit. 
“Cassian!” you cry out. Your voice was music to his ears, encouraging him to go faster. He added a finger to tease your entrance, and without warning plunged in.
His finger hit a spot in you that you didn’t know existed. Arching your back off the counter as he ate you out like a starved male, you threaded your fingers threw his hair and pulled him away from you. He looked up at you with a question in his eyes. Do you want to stop? 
“I want you inside me, now Cass.” That was all you said. 
Cassian hauled you up and took you to your bedroom. The whole way there you were stripping both of your remaining clothes, leaving a trail down the hall and up the stairs. Cassian's lips leave open-mouthed kisses on any bare skin he can reach and your combing your fingers through his hair, loving the feeling of him underneath you. 
Next thing you know, your back hits your massive Illyrian bed, and a massive Illyrian is on top of you, staring down at you with dark hungry eyes. His mouth connects with yours and you wrap your legs around his waist, being careful of his wings. You groan into him at the feeling of his hard cock pressed against your entrance. Cassian takes the opportunity to slip his tongue in your mouth. Not wanting to be outdone, you trace your hand over where his wing connects to his muscular back. He growls and bites down on your bottom lip then goes to bite down on where your shoulder and neck join. 
“Cassian, if you're going to fuck me, fuck me already.” You said and his teeth grazed the top of your breast.
“Needy are we?” He takes his lips off my skin. You’re about to protest, but all that comes out is a loud moan as Cassian lines up with your entrance and thrusts in. 
“Mmmh love you feel so good wrapped around me and moaning under me.” His words are dripping with lust as he starts to pick up his pace and devour your lips. 
Your skin is on fire and you feel a tell-tale knot forming in your lower stomach. It’s almost too much when you run your nails down his back and he moans as you brush against his wings. You feel his cock twitch inside you, so you wrap your legs around his waist and full-on caress the leathery membrane. 
Cassian stops his movements, and in a split second his large hand is wrapped around your throat, not stopping air flow, but it's enough pressure that you stop touching his wings. “Think you can top from down there?” he growls getting closer to your ear. “I don’t think so love.” his thrusts become punishingly fast and hard. 
The whole bed is shaking as you tilt your head back, Cassian's hand still holding you down by your throat. You smile at the feeling, but it’s soon replaced with a scream that sounds like the Illyrian's name when he uses his free hand to play with your clit. 
“Cas- I’m so close, pleas-” 
You fall, no hurl, over the edge when Cass whispers “Cum for me beautiful, let me see you come undone.” and come undone is exactly what you do. 
Your vision is spattered with stars as wave after wave of pleasure comes crashing down on you. Cassian isn’t far behind you. Two sloppy thrusts later and the male is practically roaring as his release hits him. 
He falls to his side beside you, both of you are breathing heavily and are covered in a sheen of sweat. You look over at him, expecting him to get up and head to his part of the house, but he doesn’t. Instead, he gets up and goes to get a wet cloth and cleans you both up.
“Cass,” you start, but he silences you with a kiss.
“We’ll talk in the morning. Right now I just want to fall asleep with you. Okay?” The look in his eyes melts your heart. How could you say no to him?
“Okay,” you reply and snuggle closer to his warm chest.
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Thanks for reading!
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yowyowyaoi · 10 months
Text
Itachi’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki
From Konan
Nobody eats until you come out and eat with us 😤
Thank you! You’re the only one who even noticed 💙
You need to do a better job of hiding that kitten lol  it pushed open your door and walked down the hallway again
Of course! You know where I keep it you don’t even have to ask 😊
I know I’ve spoken to Nagato about them he’ll handle it
You have GOT to come try this new massage chair I got it’s heaven 😌
From Deidara
Come on I was just kidding!!
Please call him off if he bites off my hand again Sasori said he won’t replace it 😔
Sharingan is not art it’s dirty cheating 
The counter is covered with plates of eggs, did you do that weird sleepwalking thing again?!
Me and Hidan and maybe Tobi. Come on take the stick out of your ass and just come with us!
I’ll paint them if you braid my hair first.
Why do you always blame me?? Hidan probably took it!
Omfg I SWEAR I meant that for Sasori!! 😳 Please please don’t show Kisame he’ll kill me 😫
From Zetsu
He’s just so emotional is that an Uchiha trait?
I can literally smell your exhaustion you need to go and rest
Yeah very cute. Be a shame if someone ate it 👀
He was doing fine. Got a lot taller. Looks a lot like you in the face.
No I’m glad you made him leave that dude freaked even ME out 😵‍💫
From “Tobi” aka Obito
Can I borrow your face cream? This mask makes my skin itch like crazy!
God stop it man are you TRYING to speed up going blind?!
Would he take your last name or would you take his? 🤔
No. Never. They think I’m a dumbass, remember?
Little more time in the sun would probably help 🤷🏻‍♂️
“Crushes” are for little kids. And anyway he hates me 😔
I thought about that yeah. Reminded me of your mom’s. She always made the best ones.
I’m not sure of anything kid. But we’re in it too far to back out.
Idk you just looked super pale
Ask Sasori to make you more, they’re helping a little 
Idc what Zetsu says. I can do a lotta shit but cannibalism isn’t one of them 🤢
You think I didn’t see you sneak in that pie? Either share or I’m telling Kisame.
From Nagato
Come and join Konan and I for tea. We’ve got a new blend we think you’ll like.
Permission granted. Just be back within three days, I’ll be sending you two on a mission then.
Thank you for the tips. My eyes feel much better now.
Take your time reading it. When you finish I’d love to discuss some of the themes with you.
I know you dislike meat but perhaps a bit more protein might help improve your stamina.
I don’t mind but do not let Kakuzu see it.
From Hidan
Movies with me and blondie?
Yeah but he’s half-animal right? Still counts, pervert.
PLEASE make the splinters in the ass joke PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU😭😭😭
If I didn’t take a piece you would have ate the whole fucking thing yourself and your stomach would burst. You’re welcome 😊
No that was definitely Deidara’s gay ass
Mask boy’s looking for you
Oh right like Kisame wouldn’t beat my ass for that 🙄 Nice try asshole
God damn it’s 3am when the FUCK do you sleep?!
We’re not “plotting” anything just come with ffs 🤦‍♂️
It was an accident and I didn’t even look that long don’t tell her she’ll slice me up with that sharp-ass paper 😖
From Kakuzu
You always being on time with your rent is most appreciated.
To be honest I don’t really know. But at this point I’m too far into my feelings for him so this is my life now. 
Getting enough sleep is important. Nagato agrees that a new mattress would be in your best interests. No arguments.
I’ve ripped off his leg and made it clear it won’t be returned until he returns your property to you.
I’ll consult with Sasori and get back to you.
Konan is insisting everyone text you to come down to eat. It’s my turn. Be advised that continued delay will result in one or more of us coming and retrieving you by force.
From Sasori
Please inform me right away if you notice any adverse side effects. I may need to change the medication or adjust the dosage.
Oh, thank you for reminding me. I wouldn’t want a repeat of last year. What sort of gift do you think I should give him?
You’re more than welcome to anytime. You know I don’t sleep.
Finding the correct body is the most difficult part. All that follows is merely routine.
He can be very sensitive. I’m still learning to decipher and appropriately react to his emotions.
May I borrow that book when you’ve finished it?
Heh. That’s actually very funny.
Try not to overdo it. Your chakra levels still haven’t recovered from the last time.
You may want to hurry back. Zetsu has been circling outside your door like an animal and trying to sniff under it. That lock may not hold.
From Kisame
You remembered your meds today right?
Did you eat?
Yeah? I bet I could work out that tension 😏
Cake is not acceptable for every meal, Itachi.
I got a new blanket, very soft. Come test it out with me 💙
I’ll talk to him about it don’t worry.
For God’s sake just TAKE A NAP!
Have fun but watch your back, I don’t trust those two.
Pretty warm out tonight. Midnight swim later? 😏
You left your necklace on my dresser
Leave it there. You’ve already got one illicit pet you don’t need a second.
I’m cooking, you’re eating. No objections.
My hands are craving being in your hair 😔
I did not eat him. Zetsu is a liar.
You got any more pics like that? Please? 👀
I 💙 you too
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1427 · 3 months
Text
When the Levee Breaks (pt. 5)
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Daryl Dixon x OFC
Story Summary: The one in which a stripper that used to know Merle and Daryl shows up at the Atlanta camp. Daryl’s feelings are complicated but mostly he hates her, right?
Chapt Setting: The Farm/Woods
Chapt Warnings: pretty explicit drug use (meth), season 2 Daryl, degrading/sexist language (he’s starting to get better lol), SOPHIA CHAPTER (I think that deserves a warning)
Word Count: 2.7k
A/N: Daryl’s POV story. Daryl’s starting to be less of a dick, trying really hard to make it feel organic/make it make sense in the story. Idk. This chapter was really rough to write because… it made me sad. Also have no idea if it even makes sense (the hallucination bit, really hope it does) lol ALSO; I looked up some timeline stuff and i just?? Really thought Daryl was out there for days on his own? But apparently he wasn’t? We’re just gonna say that he is in this story. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I can only do so much when the timeline of TWD is fucking stupid sometimes. (I mean it. Come for me. Idc. Rick was in a coma for 59 days without food or water???!?!!!? Bye)
masterlist
17+ mdni (no smut in this one tho sorry)
Like fiberglass in my veins, it tears through me. Mellow, at first, almost think I should rail more before I can feel myself sweatin’. Different kinda sweat, comin’ from my fuckin’ soul. 
Haven’t felt like I was doin’ something ‘wrong’ since I was little. That feeling that ch’ya get when you’re doin’ somethin’ ya know you’re not s’possed to. This ain’t the first time I done spazz, but maybe it’ll be the last. The anxiety about doin’ it goes away the second I feel the devil kick me through my nose to the back of my brain. Even though I know it’s comin’, it always feels like gettin’ skullfucked by satan. 
Been out here for a day. I brought Merle’s shit with me because I decided to finally get rid of it somewhere. But I got somethin’ that needs doin’. And anyway, I got years of experience with ice. Not doin’ it. Sometimes doin’ it. Never let Merle know, he’d’ve made some big whoop ‘bout it. And everytime he’d gone and done more than he remembered, he woulda blamed me. Shit though, sometimes it was. 
M’not like Merle and Beatle. Ain’t an addict. Can do shit and put it down. Always been able to put it down. Figured other people could too, that they just didn’t wanna. ‘m not sure, but still kinda think that. 
Never felt fuckin’ guilty about it before, though. Fuckin’ Beatle. I’unno if it’s cuz I’d be done with her if she did the same shit, or if it’s cuz I know if she knew that I was - she’d be mad at me. Mad I didn’t invite ‘er. 
But this shit ain’t for fuckin’ playtime. Only reason ‘m even doin’ it i’so I can find Sophia. So I can stay awake, focus, and get ‘er back. They use ta use this shit in war. War’s the reason methamphetamines even exist. Nazi’s? Hell, every single one of ‘em in WWII. Kamikazi’s loaded up, totally fuckin’ wasted outta their minds on crystal while they bolted ‘em in. Kept ‘em awake, kept ‘em happy, kept ‘em focused on the mission. Tha’s what I gotta do. 
I can’t stop lookin’ til I find ‘er. Sophia. ‘m the only one that can, only one that knows how. And anymore, ‘m the only one that seems to give a shit. ‘Sides Carol. And Beatle. She wanted ta come. Told her she’d only slow me down. Distract me. Drawn more geeks. She woulda. Told her I didn’t need food either but she packed me some anyway. Knew I wasn’t gonna be hungry. Knew I was gonna use this dumb shit to help. But whatever. 
Doesn’t matter what happens to me, right? My life’s not worth nothin’, not compared to that little girl. Now that her old man’s outta the picture she actually got a chance. Maybe not mucha one, not the way shit is these days. But she got ‘er mom. And ‘er mom can actually be ‘er mom now. Not scared of some piece’a shit prick that finally got what was comin’ to ‘im. 
Man fuck that guy.
The trail I’m followin’ disappears so I backtrack to the mangroves where I found her doll and try to find another one. 
I start to wonder what kinda old man Beatle had. What kinda mom? Startin’ ta realize I don’t know a damn thing about Beatle. I know she likes drinkin’, she likes laughin’, she likes fuckin’ with me. But… 
Beatle keeps surprisin’ me. Not just because she let me hump her face a few days ago, the fact that she liked it, shit I haven’t even had a second to process that. Nah, more cuz she hasn’t brought it up. Hasn’t tried to hold my hand again. Hasn’t been annoyin’ me nearly as much. Not even at all, if ‘m honest. 
My brain’s goin’ a million miles a fuckin’ second over Beatle and what happened between us. Not just the other night, but back then. Got questions that need answerin’ but she ain’t here. Try to keep myself occupied with trackin’ but it ain’t like trackin’ takes much thinkin’. Follow every trail I pick up, but none of ‘em lead me to Sophia. 
I’d prob’ly start gettin’ really frustrated about this, but that’s what crystals good for. All the dopamine I need, and nothin’s annoyin’. Focus.
✨🏹 
Bent branches, wilted leaves, mud impressions, walker guts. Trees and rocks and blood and mud and dirt and greens and browns and reds and blacks. And it’s dark and it’s light and it’s dark. And it smells fuckin’ rotten. Bent branches, wilted leaves, another trail, another dead end, another undead shithead. Bent branches, wilted leaves, mud impressions, Beatle. 
How many times did I go into Merle’s bag and take the devils dick up my nose? Cuz Beatle’s standin’ here right in front of me. ‘Cept she’s all done up in makeup and glitter and her pupils are the size of dimes. Little pink crop top, tiniest pair’a daisy dukes I ever seen. ‘n she’s in my face sayin’ the shit I been thinkin’ about her sayin’ since that day she said it. 
“I like you, Dar.” 
“You like bein’ fucked up more.” I say it like I said it the last time. 
“That’s not true! I mean - I like you, Daryl.” She steps closer, tries to put her hand on my cheek before I brush her off. She slumps back a little, turning away. “You like me, too. You said it.” 
My hearts in my fuckin’ throat and I’m standin’ there, this can’t be fuckin’ happening. I know is’not but doesn’t make it feel any less real. “Tha’ was before I really knew ya, Beatle.” 
Hate that I said that to ‘er. Did I really say that? Cuz maybe that’s how I felt. Hell, maybe that’s how I felt last week. But it ain’t fair. I don’t know her. Still. Now. Don’t know ‘er at all. Thought I did. Thought I understood what kinda girl did those kindsa things. Is that really what I said? Fuck.
She’s still turned away from me, but I walk the half circle around to look at her face. And she’s sobbing. Silently, trying to stay as still as possible. I… I don’t remember this part. Maybe I didn’t see it? Nah, I saw it. Just didn’t care. Didn’t wanna look at ‘er. Didn’t want to hear her lame ass confession. Especially after she’d brought up that I told ‘er I liked ‘er. She sniffles and wipes her face before she pulls a bubble pipe out of the waistband of her shorts and lights the bottom, starts smokin’ it. She asks if I want a hit, like last time. 
I go to say no, but the words don’t come out. Instead my hand reaches for it. I look back up and Beatle’s dressed all different. Baggy jeans and a bikini top. That night. Fuck. Shit. I don’t want to relive that night. 
“I promise, I won’t tell Merle.” She says, handing me her lighter. And I smoke it. Inhaling the vapor slowly like she had. “You gotta sip at it, like it’s a coffee and you’re drinking the air to see if it’s still too hot. Roll the bowl or it will burn.” I do it the way she says. She’s like ten years younger than me, but she looks at me - talks to me like it don’t matter. Like she don’t see it that way. Guess I don’t either, never really did. 
I’d never wanted to smoke it before. But that night I wanted to. With her. Woulda done anything she’d asked that night ‘fore she ruined it. I ruined it. Til it got all fucked up an’ it was never the same again. Not the way I saw her, not the way she looked at me. 
I’m goin’ through memories like they’re happening all over again. Feelin’ fuckin’ sick. I don’t wanna remember this. 
I hand the pipe back to her and she asks, “How do you feel?” 
“Fine.” 
“Just fine?” She smiles. 
“Good.” I clarify. 
“Good.” 
Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. “I think I like you, Beatle.” 
She laughs too hard, “you think?” I feel myself getting sicker and angry again all at once. 
I split in half. One half feelin’ those same feelings I felt. That this conceited fuckin’ bitch really acts like everyone likes her. I hear her words and it sounds like she’s sayin’ ‘well obviously’ - but the other halfa me hears it like a real question. Like she wanted ta know what I meant. I don’t remember how I responded then, but I can hear myself say it, “Self-obsessed cunt.” 
Beatle laughs, “Is that what you like about me?” 
My misunderstanding continues; Thought she was pickin’ on me. Makin’ funna me. All these years. All this time. Thought she was fuckin’ laughin’ at me. Never told a girl I liked her. Not that I never did like one, just never told ‘em. Not like some teenage fuckin’ confessional. And I do and what?  she just laughs.  
Shit. 
Cuz inside ‘m screaming. Screamin’ at myself ta say somethin’ different. To jus’ tell her. She’s special, she’s exciting, and when she smiles at the shit I say it makes me feel like I’m the only one in the fuckin’ world to her. Tha’s what she wants ta here. Tha’s why she’s askin’. 
“Nah. Forget it.” She nods, and I thought she did forget it.  She forgot until she brings it up again in the memory I already re-lived. 
Tha’s how I was so damn sure she didn’t give a single shit about if I liked her or not. Didn’t bring it up again for months. Didn’t give a single shit about me at all. Felt stupid for ever thinkin’ she might. Just a dumb crush on a dumb girl, and I forgot everything about it. An’ every little thing she did that made me like ‘er ended up as somethin’ else I hated.  And every time I saw her after that she was fucked up on somethin’. Meth or booze or weed. Usually all three. 
It comes at me like a fuckin’ freight train, her lips crashing into mine, but this time I want it. Don’t wanna stop kissin’ ‘er. Instead my arms move and I push her down to the ground. She’s wearing the crop top again, can tell she’d been cryin’. She’s layin’ there in the rocks lookin’ up at me and I flash back to the living room where this happened, where she’d told me she liked me back. I wanna beat the shit outta myself for makin’ her look like that. 
How didn’t I see it? 
I did see it. I just didn’t care. Thought I knew what kinda girl did those kinds’a things. 
Wonderin’ what kind of old man she had. What kinda boyfriends before she met me. How maybe she’s just as fuckin’ scared’a feelin’ stuff as I am. How maybe it took her months to even get up the courage to tell me after I’d told ‘er never mind and slowly started to hate her. How many’a those drinks were for courage? How many’a those hits were cuz she was nervous?
Shit. 
And she’s runnin’ away like she did then. Away from me an’ outta my life until a few weeks ago. I know it ain’t real but I run after her anyway. Screamin’ her name into the open air like maybe somehow I can change it if I can get her to come back. But she’s gone and ‘m still running tryin’ to find her. Screaming for her ‘til my throats hoarse. 
‘Til the walkers hear me. 
✨🏹
Andrea fuckin’ shot me. What is wrong with this fuckin’ group?
✨🏹
Beatle’s in the bedroom with me but I can’t look at ‘er. Don’t wanna. Feels like she knows what I was doin’ out in them woods without ‘er. Like she can see the dirty shit in my soul and for some reason it makes me ill. Can’t look at ‘er. Knowin’ I hurt ‘er like that all that time ago. Knowin’ it now like I ain’t ever known anything else. 
It’s just me ‘n her and she doesn’t try to talk to me. Just lets me lay there hatin’ myself for all of it. Didn’t even find Sophia. 
Spent a lot of my days in my life hatin’ myself. Thinkin’ I was good for nothin’. Now ‘m sure of it. 
I feel the bed move under the weight of her. She hugs herself around me, and like some pathetic kid I fuckin’ cry. Don’t know if she can tell or not but she tries comforting me anyway. “It’s okay, Dar. You did your best.” Her voice… how could I have ever thought it was annoying? Her bein’ so nice just makes me hate myself more. 
“Lea‘me alone, Beatle.” Shakin’ her arm out from around me. She gets off the bed and sits back in the chair she’d been in. God, I fuckin’ hate myself. Wanna scream No, come back. I didn’t mean it. 
Still got question’s that need answerin’. This time Beatles right here, and I ain’t got nothin’ to lose. “Why were you naked in Merle’s room?” Grateful that she’s sittin’ behind me. Don’t think I could talk to ‘er ‘bout this stuff if she was lookin’ at me. Right now? If I saw her face? Don’t think I could talk at all. 
She laughs. Fuck her stupid fuckin’ laugh. “I still can’t believe you think I fucked around with Merle.” 
“Why not? Y’all hung out every other day.” My voice is sharp, feels like she’s laughin’ at me again. Always feels like everyone’s laughin’ at me. 
“We all hung out every other day, Dar.” 
“Stop callin’ me tha’.” 
“I was carpet surfing. Your dumbass brother spilled all the schkag all over the damn place.” 
Oh…. But, “Ya didn’t have any clothes on.” 
“I never had any clothes on, Daryl. You sure I wasn’t just wearing something ‘slutty’? You know, like you always said I was? Cuz I don’t remember, but I’ve never been naked with Merle. Ever. Sounds fuckin’ gross.”
Oh. 
It made sense. Makes so much sense, ‘specially now. She keeps talkin’ an’ ‘m grateful cuz if I tried to say anything else I’d start fuckin’ cryin’ again. “I liked you, man. I…” she stops herself. Wanna beg her to keep goin’ but I can’t. 
Instead I ask ‘er the only question I got left, “Why’d ya leave, then? Ya left ‘n ya never came back.” 
She’s silent for a long time. “When you and Merle moved, where’d you go?” 
She did come back. 
“Why’d ya leave, Beatle?” Doesn’t matter where Merle and I went. She’s avoidin’ the question. 
“Got sober. After that night… with you. Wanted to get sober. Wanted to…” she don’t say the rest but she don’t need to. I got it. Fuck, my heart can’t take it. 
“Cuz I said ya liked gettin’ fucked up more than ya liked me.” It ain’t a question. I know. 
“Think it was more the other thing you said.” 
Tha’ was before I really knew ya, Beatle. I can still taste the words. “Shouldn’t’a said that to ya.” My voice is barely a whisper. 
She gets back up on the bed and puts her arm around me again, this time I don’t shake her away. Her voice, so close to my ear, “I didn’t want to tell you that I came back. I didn’t want you to know that I got sober for you.” 
What? “Why not?” 
“Wasn’t sure you’d care. And if you did… I didn’t want you to have all the what-ifs in your head that I have in mine.” 
She hugs herself into me so tight it’s hard to breathe, and she tells me, “It doesn’t matter anymore.” 
I feel guilty, can’t take any of that back. Can’t make any of it better. I don’t deserve this. Her. After all the nasty shit I ever thought about her. After what I did to her the other night. I can’t bring myself to tell her to leave cuz I know she wants to be here. Don’t wanna make her cry again. 
So I let her hold me. Even though I don’t fuckin’ deserve it. 
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hope-drunk · 1 year
Text
- flowers | a. anderson
| you get abby flowers for valentine’s day, she gives you something better in return
| content warning: fem!reader, oral (r receiving), pet names (baby, princess), top!abby, bottom!reader, established relationship, barely proofread, not accurate description of how flowers grow but it’s the apocalypse so idc, definitely ooc manny, mushy abby and reader, idk i just wanted to write a valentine’s day fic LOL
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“Yeah, but what’s the point of it?” you ask Manny.
“I don’t know. To get some?” he answers.
You had met Manny in the cafeteria, being assigned to patrol with him for the day. When you saw him, he wished you a happy Valentine's Day, which you had no clue was a thing. Of course, you have heard of the big holidays, like Christmas or Halloween, but you had never heard of Valentine’s Day. Now, you were walking in the cold to the checkpoint, trying to figure it out together.
“How’d you even hear of it?”
“Saw it on a card in an old grocery store one time, then found the day on a very old calendar. It’s the day of love.” Manny laughs, dragging out the ‘o’ in love. 
You laugh with him, then fall to a natural silence. You cleared out the few infected that were running around before starting to head back to base. 
It was still cold out, but there wasn’t any snow on the ground anymore. Looking around, you spot some flowers growing up along a building, running over to quickly grab them.
“What are you doing?” Manny chuckles, jogging to where you were.
“Didn’t they give flowers as gifts? I’m getting Abby flowers.” you say, trying to find the freshest ones to pull out of the ground.
He groans. “Oh you’re such a love bird. It’s really gross.”
You laugh at him, gathering your makeshift bouquet before shoving him.
“At least I can keep someone.” you say running back to the truck you had driven in.
“It’s a choice!” you hear him yell, which only causes you to laugh harder.
The drive back was quiet, you spent it fiddling with the flowers, excited to give them to Abby the first chance you got. You had been together for a few months now, and it was everything you had ever wished for. She came off as intimidating to everyone else, so when you went public, it was hard for them to adjust to her being soft with you. Manny has asked you many times why she won’t treat him the same way, which causes Abby to give him a glare in return. 
When you got back, you found her in your joint room, sweaty. She must have just gotten back from the gym. She smiles when she realizes it’s you that walked in, coming over to give you a sweet kiss before backing away.
“Happy Valentine’s Day!” you say, stretching out the flowers towards her chest.
“What the fuck is that?” she asks “And where’d you find flowers?” Confusion is written all over her face as she examines the flowers you had pushed into her hands.
“Manny told me about it, he said it’s a day to celebrate love. So I thought I would get you a present.” you say, voice faltering.
Abby didn’t have the reaction you were expecting. She seemed genuinely confused, but your brain was taking it as disapprovement. She looked up at you, noticing your smile had turned into a slight frown. She’s quick to jump over to you, using her thumb to rub out the crease between your eyebrows. She gives you a kiss on your forehead, then your nose, and then your lips, which are already back to a smile by the time she gets down to them.
“I don’t know why you’d listen to Manny on anything in terms of love, but thank you for the flowers, baby. They’re almost as beautiful as you.” Abby says. 
You laugh as she starts to cringe from her cheesy line. Grabbing your hand, she moves you both to the kitchen to grab something that at least emulates a vase to put the flowers in. 
“So, what do you want in return?” she asks, putting water in with the flowers.
“Don’t want anything, Abs, just thought it would be a nice gift.” you say, blushing at the stern ‘that’s not gonna happen’ look she shoots you.
Once she’s gotten the flowers how she wants, she comes over to where you’re standing, grabbing your hips to lift you onto the kitchen countertop. You try to stifle your small giggle, placing your arms around her neck while she rubs matching circles on each of your hips. 
“What about,” she says, kissing down your neck. “I give you something I know you’ll like.”
She stops her assault on your neck to look at you. You nod your head eagerly, which she smirks at. 
“Lift up your arms.” Abby demands. Once she takes your shirt and bra off, she’s quick to move her mouth to your breasts, sucking at them hungrily. 
She unbuttons your pants just as quickly, using one strong arm to lift you off the countertop. She’s acting crazed, you’ve never seen her move at this pace. Usually, Abby likes to take her time with you, she’s cruel with her teasing, and she loves to hear you beg. Right now? That Abby is long gone. She kisses down your stomach fast, before scooching your body further off the counter, cunt coming towards her mouth. And Abby dives right in. 
You let out a strained moan at the contact. Her hot mouth licks fast at your heat. You’re trying to find something to grab onto, settling on her head. You don’t mean to, but you try to grind into Abby’s face, she’s going so fast, your orgasm approaching before you know it.
“Abby, oh God–” you try to speak, wanting her to slow down, but also thinking you may die if she does.
She replaces her tongue with her thumb, rubbing tight circles into your clit. 
Looking up at you from the ground, she says, “What? What d’you want, baby? Know I’ll give it to you.”
You’re so blissed out you can’t even answer her, you just softly grab the top of her head again, trying to push it back to your pussy. She understands exactly what you’re asking for, and moves her tongue back onto you. You let out a strangled groan as you feel her the muscle enter you, her nose bumping your clit. Her arm is around your waist still, making sure there’s no way you could move away from her.
She comes up for a breath, fully standing this time, and you feel two fingers slip into your hole. Abby’s thrusting them in rapidly.
“Want you to cum for me, okay?” 
You nod back at her, eyes glassy from the pressure on your walls.
“‘M gonna cum.” you say, maintaining eye contact with her the whole time.
“Yeah you are, give it to me, princess.” Abby says, before contacting your mouths together.
You taste yourself on her tongue, and that’s what sends you over the edge. Your mouth falls open as your walls clench on Abby’s fingers. She kisses your cheek as you ride out the orgasm.
Once your orgasm has finished, you slouch against Abby’s shoulder, and she lets you stay there for a while before carefully pulling her fingers out of your sensitive hole, shushing you as she does. You use some of the little energy you have left to look up at her.
“Hi.” You say, giving her a shy smile.
“Hey there.” Abby replies.
“We can never make food on this counter again.” 
She laughs, shaking her head. “We’ll clean it, it’s fine.”
Abby helps you off the counter, steadying you as your legs wobble.
“Let’s go take a shower, yeah?” she says, kissing the top of your head. 
You can’t find it in yourself to say no, letting her walk you to your bathroom. You giggle to yourself as you remember what Manny said, maybe Valentine’s Day presents do help you get some.
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