#idk what i'm actually saying i'm kind of just rambling

[deluxe-rabbitsu]

Yuunise looks! (⁠๑⁠´⁠•⁠.̫⁠ ⁠•⁠ ⁠`⁠๑⁠)

I wanted to do this since I'm working on more references for her other event outfits, safe to say that I only have a few left to be up to date. I was thinking what if Yuu never makes it home and has to rebuild their life all over again in Twisted Wonderland? Would they even stay on night Raven the whole time until Grim graduates?

↓ More rambling underneath ↓

Okay so for the first year look: basically wild woman without madols. She wants to buy many things and commodities but she doesn't want to get a side job!! What if her feral cat burns ramshackle down?

But yeah, she doesn't have many things to make herself more presentable so she's kind of a mess but makes it up with her wonderful personality (lying)

Just for the people who don't understand my chicken scratch I'll write down here what I wrote of the image

1st year look

-A little unkept (umkept? Idk English)

-Fluffy hair (DRY) ;-;

-Uses glasses but doesn't get them on because it's not swag

-Skincare lacking bc money!

-Lip balm for the win

Second year look: Tired of her hair, had a little more madols but she becomes stingy with her routine and products.

I'm taking inspiration from my own experience as a long haired girly, as much as it's fun to have long hair it's a trouble to keep it nice. More when your hair is constantly frizzy and wavy like mine, so a solution is to cut a bit out of your hair and tie it up so one can feel true peace within oneself 🕊️

2nd year look:

-Still won't use her glasses (astigmatism be damned)

-Hair up 24/7 with ribbons gifted by someone special ♡

-Makeup on fleek

-Better uniforms that actually fit

Third year look: Doesn't give a fuck anymore and wants to be happy to forget the fact that she can't go back to her old life–trying to move on already

So the news hit finally and she's confused, she's miserable to the fact that she'll never see her family or friends back home but happy to know that she has archived so much all on her own accord. She finally gets a sense of freedom with herself.

Now she's just trying to make herself forget of the unavoidable circumstances by pampering herself, making a new 'me'

3rd year look

-Longer gair

-Finally uses her glasses!

-More freedom in makeup and uniform styling

-Embrace the freckles!!

-Bowtie now used as hair ribbon

What am I going to do when twst ends, this is my very interesting hyperfixation 😭😭

#[⚰️] Twisted Wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst #disney twisted wonderland #twisted fan art #twisted wonderland oc #twisted wonderland ocs #twst oc #yuusona #twisted wonderland yuu #twst yuu #twst headcanons #my art

[girlfromthecrypt]

i really love that your characters aren't like perfect and conventionally attractive if that makes sense? like basil having top surgery scars and just BEING trans and still being someone who's implied to be attractive, or small stuff like flo not being super toned idk it just makes me feel really happy that for once it's an IF whos potential romantic interests aren't "bland actual fucking supermodel", "bland actual fucking supermodel but with red hair" and "bland actual supermodel but 5'10"

sorry for rambling it's just like a game where I feel comfortable, that like in universe I wouldn't be given shit about what I look like y'know

also I liked Basil's joke about the MC (I assume this is only when picking the short option) being the same size as some of the kids. it made it feel like friendly and real

THANK YOU I'm serious this particular thing means so much to me.

I very much intend for my characters to be attractive, but each in their own way, not like the "bland supermodels" you described. Bc that's so real. In most romance fiction (not just IFs), I find that sooo many characters are just boringly beautiful. I have a hard time falling in love with the characters bc of that.

Also, I want each of my ROs to look according to what they do. Their appearance should suit their personalities and needs. Besides, "flaws" totally add to a character's charm imo.

-RO ramble incoming!-

To me at least, the SHC ROs are very attractive, but like in a normal, approachable way. I put a lot of thought into their specific kinds of attractiveness.

Basil is very attractive!! In a fox-like, impish kind of way, with his fairycore vibes and whatnot. I also love that you said "supermodel but 5'10" like 5'10 is short or sth lol. But I see what you mean! Basil, of course, is like 5'8 but I like to think anyone who meets Basil would be too distracted by the entire rest of him to even consider height. Besides, to me (I be gremlin) that's still kinda tall.

I figure being trans doesn't really factor into his attractiveness at all. From your ask, it sounds like trans people get described as ugly in a lot of fiction?? I wouldn't know, but if that's what you were saying, then that's a sorry state of affairs.

Flo is also attractive, in more of a "conventional masculinity"-type of way. But he's not well-dressed because he hates the feel of most fabrics, so he's only ever in his sweater. And of course he's not super defined! He has NO interest in being super handsome (aside from keeping his hair and beard shiny). He wants to be a tank. And he is a tank.

And if you consider how much food he consumes in the fairground-sequence alone (cheesecake, around five deep fried candy bars).... Yeah he loves to eat. Hence, he's got a bit of padding lol. There's no technical reason for the large nose ofc, I just thought that was cute.

Reem is the most "supermodel"-esque out of the ROs, I think. Although that's subjective. She's actually toned, but like... also very noticeably muscular. In that defined kinda way I might have intentionally avoided with Flo! But like, it makes sense that Reem would build abs and stuff for herself. She values her stage presence. She does want her performances and looks and outfits to be memorable, and HERSELF to be memorable. She's just raw, brutal magnetism. (Also I might have gotten inspired by BG3 Karlach when I first came up with Reem.)

Anita is pretty, too, but in like... a "cute" way. A Velma kind of way. With her, like, really thick glasses. Anita's appealing in a wispy, ethereal kind of sense. Or perhaps even slightly girl-next-door-ish, with an added academia vibe. Also, she's slim, not model-slim but "I forgot to eat/I'm stressed and have no appetite"-slim. This is really important to me. Will come up in the story, too. With that also comes her bad posture. She slouches a lot.

So yeah the ROs' attractiveness is rly something I put thought into, and I'm super happy you noticed. Makes my entire day whenever I get an ask like that. Thank you!

Also yeah hehe I was proud of that joke

#if: such happy campers #romanceable characters #ro rambles #kind asks #I went wayyy off the rails here

[sessakag]

I just wanna say that I absolutely LOVE Butterfly. It’s kinda the only fanfic I care about at the moment lmao I am LOCKED IN. The story itself is great, all of the characters (even the ones everyone hate rn) are interesting, the writing is phenomenal…I could go on and on.

I have a few thoughts I wanted to get out of my head. These aren’t suggestions (cuz it’s your story and I trust where you’re gonna take it), it’s moreso just kinda be me rambling lol:

Sasuke- I know you’ve mentioned he’s going to show up again later, but I’m so anxious to see the role he’s going to play. I don’t really want it to be a romantic thing with Hinata (I am a firm NaruHina lover lol) but I would love to see him be some kind of a protective friend for her? In my head he and Hinata already know each other; like they had some type of group therapy for traumatized teens or after she was removed from her dad’s care she was temporarily in a group home where she met Sasuke and they got to know each other idk. He knows her story and the pain she deals with, and is able to relate in a sense. So he doesn’t want to see her be taken advantage of. Idk, again this is NOT a suggestion lmao just rambling.

Strength- I would argue that Hinata’s the strongest character in the story so far. Even stronger than Naruto. She’s been thru absolute hell and suffers with severe anxiety and depression. The fact she struggles with suicidal ideations and is still making the choice to live is a testament to her strength. I hope that as the story progresses, Hinata starts to recognize that in herself.

Naruto- love the way you write Naruto in this; the chapters in his pov are some of favorites tbh. As someone mentioned before, I too would love to get a few jealous Naruto scenes. Especially since he’s starting to actually *see* Hinata and recognize his attraction to her. I’m assuming that as the story progresses, Hinata will grow into her own person and become somewhat independent of Naruto (like getting her own friends); is that something Naruto might feel threatened by? Since he does have a selfish streak and is immature, I wonder if he would have an issue with keeping Hinata all to himself.

I think those were the main ramblings I had. Chapter 8 is my absolute favorite so far cuz of the cute NaruHina moment we got. I know smut is probably a ways away but I cannot WAIT till we get to it cuz you are one of my favorite smut writers tbh. Anyways that’s all for now. Can’t wait to see what you have in store for us!

Thank you so much! 🙈💕💗so so so happy you're enjoy the fic that much 💕makes my heart do cartwheelssss 🏃🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️💗☺️🫶🏽 and thank you so much for dropping love in my inbox, I absolutely adore you all that do I swear 🥹

Ahhhh, you have some really interesting ruminations🙈

Sasuke- Surprisingly a lot of readers have been waiting to see how Sasuke fits into all this🤭I've gotten some incredibly creative scenarios and prediction from commenters and anons that I've actually added to his role and even moved his entrance up in the timeline😄This is a very interesting scenario and I really, really like it a lot! So many people really want a protective friend Sasuke and I can't say the idea isn't unbearably adorable 💕

Strength- You hit the nail on the head for sure🫡💕Hinata's inner strength is one that's often overlooked, underestimated and underappreciated when compare to more overt forms of strength, or socially constructed ideals of what it means to be strong, and I've really, really been wanting to make a point in the world of fanfiction, specifically the Naruto fandom of fanfiction, that strength is not always aggression, violence and bitchy attitude 🤦🏽‍♀️ because I've seen, for years now, this narrow, short sighted standard of who is strong and who is weak being perpetrated and it's always, always bothered the crap out of me 😤With Butterfly, I'm hoping to open minds and break molds we've been taught to believe are absolute👎🏽but are actually highly subjective👈🏽 I swear, so many of my fics are 'break the mold' type fics, lol, I think I just like to nay say the nay sayers, ya know, shine light on areas and topics that many may make negative assertions and toxic assumptions about while in reality, know very little about the subject matter at all. I think it opens the door for more compassion, understanding and inclusion ️🫶🏽 and honestly, that's what I'm all about.

Naruto- I love, love, love me a Naruto POV 🙈idk what it is about Naruto in particular since I love most make POV but it is soooo much fun being in his head 🤭Butterfly!Naruto and Prey!Naruto are two of my fave Naruto POV's to write in, both are so much fun in different ways 😄For sure Naruto's gonna have his jealousy moments, he's too hot headed and selfish in Butterfly not to🤭Its definitely not out of the realm of possibility that he'll feel some type of way about not being the center of her attention🤔right now, he's the golden boy, he's got the coveted place at her side, he's got exclusive access nobody else has, losing that, well, he might not be too keen on it🤭although, he's been trying to introduce her to his friends and help her with her speech problems, so maybe he'll take it as a source of pride that he's help her find her confidence🤔that's why I love this Naruto 🤭he really can go either way. Like, on one hand, he can be sweeter than cotton candy, some real tooth rotting sweetness, but on the other hand he can be a selfish asshole making scummy choices just to get what he wants😅he gets tunnel vision, and the only thing that matters is reaching his goals by any means necessary. He's just a really fun character🤭

I super duper appreciate you leaving your ramblings here!! I enjoy each and every one of them! Chapter 8 is near and dear to me too!! I enjoyed writing it so, so much, the cuteness almost melted my laptop 🙈💕 I cannot wait to do more sweet bonding scenes for them ️🫶🏽 that's honestly why my fanfics be so long, I get so caught up in just enjoying and marinating in NaruHina love 🙌🏽its like a virus I never wanna get rid of 😫 Smut is indeed a ways off, but I can't wait to get to it too 🙈 and tys, I'm honored to be one of your faves💕 Thank you, thank you for dropping by!!! I really loved seeing your ramblings! 🫶🏽

#ask #answer #butterfly #naruhina #ramblings #this was very enjoyable! #so much I can't wait to get to for butterfly!

[reanimatedgh0ul]

it's crazy to me that angsty broody danny™ is as popular as it is in fanon when it's like first off have you even MET danny and secondly SAM EBONY DARK'NESS DEMENTIA RAVEN WAY MANSON IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE OUT OF ANYONE IN THE TRIO SHE'S THE ONE WHO'S GONNA ACT LIKE THAT OK I NEED MORE OF Y'ALL TO REALIZE THIS

THIS RIGHT HERE IS LITERALLY WHAT SAM VS DANNY WOULD LOOK LIKE ACTUALLY

#sam is the kind of kid who will romanticize her own pain and sadness and chooses to wallow in it #but then tucker and danny are like for the love of god PLS LIGTHEN UP (obviously said from a place of love and concern) #like danny will give other ppl for example sam here good advice like you're not a burden #maybe idk actually talk abt your feelings w me or tuck we're your friends and we care abt you ok <3 #but then danny will turn around and ignore/dismiss his own feelings/problems #bc he's like oh i don't wanna burden my friends w my emotional bs so i'm just gonna repress it and one day it'll go away this is fine :) #basically danny doesn't practice what he preaches is what i'm saying #danny phantom #robi rambles

[dootznbootz]

I think some folks MAY have gotten the wrong idea about how I feel about Circe with some of my posts. So, to clear the air...

Homies, I love that fucked up sorceress.

I love how we're never given a reason why she turns people into animals. That's so funny and so awful. And another potion-making magic gal?!?! I love that she's just basically vibing on an island doing whatever she wants. I even love the fact that she scares Odysseus shitless! She's morally gray and that's why she's FUN.

I just sincerely hate when people try to girlboss her or have her be a victim of SA when she never was Looking at you, Miller. Especially when she was actually the one who coerced Odysseus in exchange for his men being transformed back into humans. And even then, while he was clearly afraid of her, (it's in the language of the Odyssey) she likely meant him no harm after a certain point. He just didn't know that.

Why does she need a reason to do awful things? Why can't she just be a goddess who does whatever she wants? That's the reason why I love her!!! She's fucked up!!! :D

I hate what the Telegony did to her as well! >:( You're telling me, this sorceress goddess, who makes potions (!!!) wouldn't have magic contraceptives??? Would WANT CHILDREN?!?! WITH THE PATHETIC WIFEMAN?! No. Fuck no. Eugammon of Cyrene, I have beef with you 🤬

Anyways!!! Understand all the "#anti circe" I have is simply Anti "Girlboss Circe" or the book. I genuinely think she's neat af as her morally gray, fucked up sorceress self and just get frustrated with...everything :'D

#I have these same feelings with Medea and Medusa and so many others. Penelope too. Let them do something fucked up just to be fucked up #I'm a “god forbid women do anything” in the sense of 'she did a fucked up thing. That's why she's fascinating. Don't take her awfulness #away from her!!! please! I wanna study her under a microscope!'😭 #PLEASE #...I actually kind of don't like the idea of her actually caring about her nymphs :P maybe she “protects them” but like... #I see her as a “Why are all of you dancing? Oh. it's a birthday? hm okay. Just make sure your duties are done.” while not caring #whose birthday it is. She's not really shown to be close to them during the Odyssey and idk just seems in character for her to not give af #save me morally gray circe #<-making that a tag now because...yeah. She absolutely wouldn't save me though. #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #anti madeline miller #anti circe #<-THE BOOK! I HATE THE BOOK! LET HER BE AWFUL YOU COWARDS #Why do women need to be SA'ed to be strong Miller?! >:( #...Ima say it. The pathetic wifeman is more relatable to me than Hot Snake Monster Lady when it comes to this stuff.😤 #I just sincerely hate the fact that people erase what happened to him you know? It's silly but it means a lot to me. #Also I think she got bored of him immediately and simply let him chill at her place. #She's a goddess. She's got better things to do and she absolutely doesn't love him and he absolutely doesn't want her. #I don't have with Eugammon btw. He's dead and I'm exaggerating but I STILL hate the Telegony >:( #tw sa #kind of??? idk #barely mentioned but yeah #Calypso though?? Yeah. I hate her in practically everything except Pirates of the Caribbean because that's not Odyssey Calypso

[byanyan]

oops, got myself thinking again about byan having a little hoard of weird and random trinkets and shiny things hidden away under their bed in the same way that some cats have collections of bottle caps under furniture.

like, none of it is particularly meaningful and they don't wear any of the jewelry that's under there, but they like to pull it all out once in a while to look at and are always adding more

#there's a lot of jewelry but there's a lot of other shiny things and weirder stuff too #like there's a heart shaped rock they stole from someone in elementary and some pretty feathers they've found on the ground #but then there's also a wrapper from a cute snack they had and a bone from some random animal they found in a park #colourful buttons and cute ribbons and a trading card from a game they've never played #and probably also a pink bottle cap tbh #literally just a random collection of Stuff they like but have no use for #it's a collection they've had to rebuild a few times too #bc staff/caretakers at the group home(s) would find it all sometimes and throw away whatever looked like junk or trash #tbh it's a collection they still have and add to even after they move in w sol and start sharing a bed #and they still keep it under the bed ofc bc it's habit at this point and honestly I'm not so sure they've even told him it's there 🤔 #...im rambling bc I'm kinda buzzed but like. idk I love byan and their pile of random shit #I think part of what got them started was want to actually Have Things bc they grew up not having much #and they would ABSOLUTELY get jealous of kids at school who had all kinds of belongings #who could have coherent collections and all the cool toys and shit #so they just started collecting anything that caught their eye #even if it was labels off of bottles or those cheap erasers shaped like animals or food or w/e that don't actually erase anything #and it's a habit that persisted after they started stealing basically anything they wanted/needed #and will continue to persist even once they have a job and money to buy what they want #god I kept rambling even after trying to wrap things up smh #this is the shit I'm talking about when I say I have weirdly specific and detailed thoughts about inane and unimportant aspects of byan #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.

[highlifeboat]

I bet pre-op Max hated his maid uniform to some degree honestly.

Not because of the dress, but just because the outfit is fairly form-fitting. And at the time he really started spiralling in his gender crisis, before he told anybody, having something he wore almost everyday that didn't "hide" anything was really screwing him up.

And he probably did ask Alcina about getting a bigger size, but she denied the request. She claimed the loose fit didn't look professional, and the one he had still fit him fine.

#i'm conflicted on how i wanna explore max's gender shit #but i feel like i should #because it is technically important kind of and i really should have given him an arc back when i made him trans #weh #i'm having feelings #maximus vulpe #rambles #or maybe i just think it's important idk #i mean it's important in the sense he like... #actually i dunno what i mean honestly but i mean like #i dunno #i think max had to push to get people to use different pronouns for him for al ong time and now he just has people that are like ''oh you w #wanna go by that? Okay'' and at the time is was surreal for him cuz like #his family loved him. but they only ever called him by female pronouns. and so did everyone around him save for Liza #and for a long time he dealt with that #and then like at the castle he gets called by every pronoun when he initially says he's genderfluid and it's like #wild for him #i don't know how much sense this makes i feel like tv static

[makerofmadness]

Ok looking at fanart having not seen the ruin trailer in a while I have forgotten what Cassie's actual hair color is is it brown or blonde or something in between I keep seeing art of both

like it's FNAF so I don't mind (FNAF isn't consistent with its own human designs I'm pretty sure Susie had her hair go from blonde in the games to brown in one of the books and Vanessa I think went the opposite direction between VR and AR and SB and then there's Michael in FNAF 4 vs. Michael in SL so-) but I genuinely don't know what she was shown as anymore XD

#I usually feel kinda uncomfortable when people change aspects of characters like that #(Like I saw a post that changed several Pokémon characters' eye colors and it fxcked with my brain in ways Idk how to describe) #Usually when I have a weird quirk like this it's because of like autism or something but I never see anyone else talk about this #So I'm assuming that it's either not that or I'm just weird???? Idk anyone have an explanation? #(Like I tried to describe this discomfort to someone once and since that time was concerning when people change characters' races #That person ended up basically accusing me of being racist and like- it hit me like a fxcking truck and hurt my mental health a ton- #And then months later that Pokémon post comes up and the characters' eye colors were changed to brown. WHICH IS MY EYE COLOR. #And I had the exact same reaction. So unless I discriminate against myself I think it's safe to say that was a load of shxt. #But like. I wanna know what the actual cause of this is like is it an obscure rare autism symptom or is it something else-) #Anyway enough of me rambling: #Yeah FNAF is an exception to this for the sole reason that the franchise itself isn't consistent with its own human designs. #So I kinda just. Don't feel the same kind of “off-model” weirdness because what even was the “model” to begin with y'know- #So like I'm chill with both brown and blonde haired art of Cassie but I'm just wondering like which one were we shown again?? #And whichever one it was: I'm still kinda wondering as to why people would change it one way or the other #fnaf #fnaf ruin #fnaf sb ruin #cassie #fnaf cassie

[welcometogrouchland]

Also after scrolling through the hollow mind tag for a bit- I know it was definitely hunter's episode (the grimwalker reveal, his panic attack, him fleeing belos AND the owl house) BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT LUZ. AND BELOS. CAN WE TALK ABOUT LUZ AND BELOS FOR A MOMENT PLEASE

#ramblings of a lunatic #toh #the owl house #BELOS IS SO FUCKING SMUG. ABOUT MANIPULATING A CHILD. HE IS WITH HUNTER TOO BUT HE ACTS LIKE IT'S SUCH A ''gotcha!'' W/ LUZ #AND SHE FUCKING BELIEVES HIM. SHE SPENDS THE WHOLE EPISODE SO WELL INTENTIONED BY PUSHY AND NAIVE #BUT BY THE END SHE'S JUST. SHATTERED #he thinks they're the same because she's a human. he thinks she's the same as his brother because she's a human ensnared by witches #and she parallels both the wittebane brothers in certain ways but not the ways belos thinks she does #he doesn't realized that despite being hundreds of years younger than him- luz is a version of phillip who actually grew up #and hollow mind is such a big painful part of her growing up i just. HHHHGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! #man belos' whole deal is just. it's so much. it's so much you guys #local protestant somehow managed to introduce an islands worth of ppl to the concept of catholic guilt!!!! fucked up!!!!!! #idk I'm a bit head empty rn (or at least I'm not super duper coherent) i mostly appreciated all the subtle touches and the lore this time #(like how hunter describes his family as being wiped out because they ''knew too much'' and ''got themselves hurt''- #-like. he's just describing caleb. HE'S JUST DESCRIBING CALEB GOD!!!!! BELOS PROBABLY TOLD HIM A VERISON OF THAT STORY SAYING CALEB WAS- #-HUNTERS DAD OR SOMETHING I JUST. AGHH!) #but like. yeah. it's. its a good episode #i once saw someone say that they think before the great shortening hollow mind was intended to be the s2 finale #which i think is honestly a good theory considering it's kind of toh's thesis statement and biggest show of what it can do #pushing the characters and themes to their logical extremes and popping off with the writing and art direction #i could talk more but also. i couldn't. no notes #my only wish is that the collector got to rhyme more because it scared me so much the first time #(what with the secret code poems and the acrostic poems hidden in the titles. i was like WAIT A MINUTE) #idk we've talked before about ways that s3 could open and how it could parallels past moments in the show #what. what if it opened with the collector reciting a poem that recaps the series til now????? oooh wait that's juicy #even just as a trailer audio it'd be neat #(or a theme song takeover if disney cared abt marketing this show jdbdjsbdkf) #anyway yeah. the gay little witch show is kicking my ass rn!

[a-lonely-dunedain]

must a fic "have plot progression" and "a pont"? is it not enough to simply have two guys talk about their feelings alongside a narrator prone to rambling for *checks notes* 6 pages and counting?

#I swear any time I try to write anything literally nothing happens #I mean it's fun for ME to ramble about character's feelings and stuff while literally nothing else happens #but I feel like most would find it boring #breaking news! local woman only knows how to write 1 (one) kind of scene! more at 8 #or never idk this may never see the light of day #in order to employ the 'write like no one's reading' advice I must #always have the mindset that there is a very good chance I will never end up posting what I'm currently working on #it is quite helpful actually. but it's also the reason I only have one published fic #but see this is why I can't Do those WiP ask games bc as far as anyone needs to be concerned I do not have any WiPs #if I tell people about my WiPs that may or may not exist I will then feel under the obligation to post them Eventually #so then I can't 'write like no one's reading' #I'll just get stuck on it but get stressed that it's not getting done bc people are Expecting It and I can't disappoint anyone or I'll DIE #or something like that #Schrödinger's WiPs. the WiP that may or may not exist. you will only know about it if Taz ever ends up posing it in it's entirety #(that is not to say I mind being tagged in those WIP ask games! I am flattered to be thought of for those!) #(and who knows maybe one of these days I'll get over this weird hangup and feel comfortable posting about WiPs when prompted) #(only time will tell) #Taz's foray into writing

[wrecking]

edit: i ended up just ranting abt like the current vibe™ in the tags... sorry abt that but like also whatever i don't care anymore

#d #my food therapist really said the most real thing on planet earth when she said i'm meeting me at the same time everyone else is #i feel like a cringey overzealous emotionally dumb teenager who's a total embarrassment to everyone around me while i'm trying 2 say fuck i #cuz like this is the first time in my entire life i feel like i get to actually explore my identity and do like normal young people things #and i feel just. so so exposed in the sense that everyone is watching me make a fool of myself without a single shred of self-awareness #and it makes me so fucking mad cuz like i'm finally happy with myself!! i'm finally starting to feel like a fully formed person #instead of a 2d projection or an object or something monstrous hiding in the shadows because that's how i've spent until now imo #and like. it's hard to emotionally make peace with the fact things in my social life are changing because like. there's some part of me #that thinks that maybe if i stayed in that miserable place that maybe i wouldn't have any of the problems i have now #and like my life is a lot better. and i know that and i wouldn't change a thing. but like emotionally i guess i'm just #processing it as a fault of mine to have changed bc it's changing my relationships to others #and this isn't about any one specific thing like i've been having lots of small growing pains with a lot of ppl in my life rn i just am lik #there's a lot happening to me rn emotionally so i feel like everything i do is a fuckup and i'm just bracing for more people to go ig #which might happen or it might not and tbh either is ok at this point. i need to do this in order to live i think #idk why i'm even rambling about this i just have a lot of thoughts and i want to share them i guess. not like it does anything but like #what else is this app for at this point lmfao i barely even want to talk on here anymore because i feel like everything i say on here is #just pointless. i'm thankful i have a strong support system rn cuz genuinely i don't know what i'd do if i didn't like #i feel like everything is so much more emotionally Big to me on E and it's kind of hard trying to figure out how to manage it #like i'm basically finally getting to be me. for worse AND for better. and i just am like. insecure on some level i guess #not even over my appearance tbh i've kinda made peace with that. moreso my personality and what things i share with others #this whole post is so wholly unnecessary but i feel like i'm going to go insane if i don't get this out of my head #i've genuinely been avoiding talking about my emotions or my private life on here because i don't exactly feel safe on here anymore #which is like great. love it when my primary outlet for like. socially interacting with people casually gets compromised i love it #i literally softblocked like 30 ppl off of here so i could talk abt my weird sex stuff and my body and my deeper thoughts with ppl i trust #and then i still am too conscious about it! this always happens when i make a blog for myself to talk on #maybe i'm just not meant for talking abt things

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

sometimes i'll watch a commentary vid on yt talking about 'toxic tumblr culture' and what not, and i'll just be bemused about some of the things they talk about, and most of the comments will be other people who are like 'yeah i remember this side of tumblr' and maybe i've just been in a cocoon on here for the past 10 years, but honestly i barely know any of the things they're talking about lol

#personal #like this isnt me saying i havent noticed some bad things on this site because oh BOY #but the way they talk about certain communities and stuff #that are now re-emerging on places like tiktok or twitter i'm like huh wait what what did i miss?? #it's honestly like some of the 'insane tumblr moments' y'all talk about on here i was just completely oblivious to pfft #like even dashcon which happened when i was still blogging a lot on here #i barely remember seeing much about and was v confused by the ballput memes for literally weeks lol #idk lol... #i suppose what i'm saying is that social media is kinda what you make it #and seeing some youtubers blaming tumblr for these harmful communities when it was really only a section of this site is frustrating lol #i would say tho a vid that mina le did about a certain kind of 'tumblr girl' (one i hadnt actually heard of btw) #was rly interesting because she went beyond just the webbed site and explained the history of the trope #idk idk i think i'm just sick of everyone not on tumblr for complaining about this site #when for me it has honestly been one of the most fun and loving socials #ignore my ramblings lol

[astrxealis]

wahhhh i’m still rlly ... confused ... messy thoughts T___T

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #tw uhm. genshin impact ?? me kind of actually admitting my actual feelings on the game and all haha ;;;; #tw rant #i posted on my writing sb but most active mutuals don't even follow me there i think. i'll ramble here instead bcs idk if i want ppl to see #this or not but also this is my main so yeah ?? T___T #i barely play genshin despite being there day 1. i'm not a huge... fan. of the game & the community overall and the company too #i don't like playing the game... i like the characters but for reasons i don't that much as well and yeah... i recently uninstalled genshin #too! i can get it back easily if i want to but. i don't rlly want to ;;; #it's not even in my top 10 favorite games ;;; and i have a lil thing against ppl who only play free games esp if they're in the philippines #and mobile gamers only bcs. i'm tired of being alone bcs that's how it is literally almost everywhere in this godforsaken country #i like those kinda stuff too yes but! i'm alone wherever it is ;; even w my friends ;;; aaaaa i wna ditch genshin once and for all but it's #hard bcs it's mainstream! it's big! it's easy to meet nice mutuals & friends thru it and it helps me actually get recognition for my writing #but. i just genuinely don't like it. dw i'm not going to be so immature to rant and ramble abt THAT here when ik many like genshin but #;;;;;;;;;; i want to ditch it but also. i don't. bcs if i do who's to say who wants to still be friends/mutuals? and my main fandoms r #either mostly adults or kinda quiet ... idk man it's just so hard. huge dilemna #either way is good & bad for my heart T___T i don't like genshin but i don't want to gtfo of it like. yeah. but then if i do what i want #it means i'll be alone even more and it's just. dgbsdjhgbhjsd idk man ;;; i feel like all problems wld be solved if i just was in another #country bcs the ph sucks for so many reasons or if more ppl like me - my age - were in my ACTUAL interests too ...... #BCS. i don't fully hate genshin. but i hate everything aside from the lore and the characters. the community i generally don't like #but the ppl in the community i don't necessarily dislike!! it just so happens. when it comes to genshin my feelings r more .... hm #i don't want to mean tho ;; i try to be considerate of others feelings ;; but yeah ^^; it's so hard to come to a decision ... #i think it'd be better for now if i take it slow! T___T #i don't think i'll Fully quit it like. i'll stop trying to force myself to seem like i like it but i mostly like the characters still so #i'll still write and all but just make it obvious that it is not my main fandom or wtvr >< GHJBSDJHG #ig it can kinda be summarized in that i don't want to necessarily leave genshinblr or fully quit genshin. but i don't rlly want to #be associated as a Genshin Fan 10000% bcs i am not lmao. and i'll associate myself w it less >< #ahjbdghjhdbshjgb there's still the problem that my actual faves aren't super . Famous for people like me bcs ppl in the ph have boring taste #and a lot of minors who DO like ffxiv are really hard to find bcs mostly adults T___T so yeah! i'll find a way. hopefully #now that i've rambled abt this i hope i come to terms w this more shbdgjbdhgbsjhdb ........ ^^

[bataranqs]

5 Happy Things

07/07/2022

1. The human capacity for forgiveness

2. I love my body very much. It’s just quite healthy and capable and I like my looks as well. Love standing and walking and typing without any problems.

3. Finished my assignment last night!!!

4. Gonna eat Mr. Noodles and it is gonna be Yummy

Update from future Quill: I had Mr. Noodles and they were, indeed, very yummy

5. Realizing that I am Very Different from who I used to be and realizing how exciting it is that I will always become someone new and different

BONUS: Played Genshin with bea my beloved

#5 happy things #this girl who i feel like i've been really rude to is just. so friendly and nice to me. and i really want to be friends with her #and i think i might actually be able to be friends with her bc she said she wants to spend more time with me??? #and i'm like idk how you're not bothered by how rude i am to you but thank you and i hope you live the best life TT #listen i don't mean this in a disparaging way but i really do think i have a bad personality. maybe not objectively but subjectively? #i'd like to be more gentle and kind since i think i get angry too easily and i'm very abrasive #like... i do think it's a pain to go out of my way to interact with people and i don't care what people think of me etc etc #and i'm not saying those are bad things but i am saying it often acts as an excuse for my unkindness and rudeness #and that's something i really really need to work on #i don't want someone to come in and deny these things bc if they don't see it it's simply bc i don't show it to that person #i see these traits clearly in myself and that's just how i am right now and it matters in that it needs to change #but also doesn't matter in that i know i will change for the better and i am putting in the effort #i'm tired of being treated like a good or upstanding person i'd just like to be #annika rambles in the tags

[dootznbootz]

There's something so specifically infuriating when someone uses one of your experiences or your demographic in an argument, especially if said argument is about spreading hatred or is just so wrong. They "speak on behalf of the ___" to say such fucked shit.

"You're not thinking of the ___!"

"I literally am ___. You saying that adds nothing as you do not speak for me or for other ___. Shut up."

#I really really hate it. It angers me in such a specific way that just skldjf ksdl #... #vent below. idk. I'm really sorry #Mad rambles #Terfs will be like “oh think of survivors! 'MEN' can share women's spaces!” like shut the actual fuck up. SHUT UP. Shut your damn mouth #A terf is so much more dangerous than a trans person. Me. a tiny cis woman is so much more dangerous to a terf than a transperson is. #Because I will obliterate you. How dare you say you speak on MY behalf? As if I don't know what I'm fucking talking about. #as if you're “protecting me” by spewing such bullshit? by treating someone as a danger when they're not?! #Especially when they believe it's a fucking TRUMP CARD. Like mentioning it means they're right!!! when obviously they're not!!! #Or when they think the fact that I'm cis will make me agree with them! I'm cis simply because I am. I'm not better or worse because of it #being cis doesn't mean I'm fine with bullshit though! #I really hate feeling almost as if like...idk I'm “known” for talking about this but it's just so so infuriating. people will act like they #know when they don't. Obviously every experience is different and terfs who are survivors I hope you find peace and my heart goes out to yo #but you also need to get your fucking head outta your ass. Saying such things isn't the way to heal and you're hurting others with it. #It's NOT about hating men or trans people! the “men are always violent/women are always victims” mentality needs to fuck off #as if it's just the script of life and that it's inescapable no matter what. that it's the truth even if circumstances say otherwise. #...I'm going to possibly block the epic tag for a bit. I have the name of the saga blocked but like... It's just genuinely upsetting. #my story got picked apart too on how it wasn't actually that bad. that I'm actually the fucking worst. “Men are just like that sweetie” #BULLSHIT!!! Gender doesn't dictate a person's morals. Being good and kind does. It doesn't matter what form that takes! #not even saying HE'S good and kind as he's horrible and wonderful at the same time but about this stuff? Do what you want but #I DO think you're insane if you see it as otherwise and it makes me wanna lock my door. You're not a bad person probably but also 🙃 #I get that there's history but there's also the fucking TEXT. #I don't know. I'm really sorry #tw trauma #tw sa mention #I'm not necessarily against reblogging this (I don't care) but don't post with tags. please

[noxtivagus]

a night will never not be complete without me rambling abt ffxiv huh

#🌙.rambles #[ ffxiv. ] #i'm so happy i found smth like ffxiv for me n apollo. later in 2023 will be the third year of playing. which is a bit hard to believe #i'm so soft for the drk quests i did enjoy it in english or wtvr but reading those fanmade jpn translations rlly warms my heart even more #n then. uwahh listening to shb osts n other vg stuff rn n masquerade at this specific point just #eulmore ost means a lot to me i rlly love that kind of vibe n then. i have a lot of fond memories in that place. #w sm friends back on twintania n 5.5 days hehe. #i am srs rambling again but i just rlly like talking to myself ok pls don't mind me uhhhh #ffxiv helped keep me grounded yes it rlly helped me through hard times. w the world in it n then. the stories that helped me so much #n the music :<< n the charas mean so much to me n then. i just appreciate the game so much. it means a lot to me #thinking abt it n i've really never been good at friendships. i rlly do want to do better bcs i value them so much but hdfjalkfsjda T_T #i rmb fucking up smth late 2020 n then first half or so of 2021 i only interacted w my family n school ppl i think n. ppl in ffxiv #srs reflecting rn n for the longest time i think i genuinely rlly struggled w social anxiety. still do to an extent but it was sm worse #twintania n my fc then changed my life fr they helped me n i don't think i ever rlly directly thanked them but yh. #n then. those social interactions helped me later that year reconnecting w my longtime irl friends that i barely talked to for those past #years bcs of the pandemic n then earlier 2022 w making new friends that weren't online friends for the first time in so long #n then being more connected w my reality again w all that yes n then making more online friends. not a lot i'm still v shy but <3 #idk i know i rlly say a lot of the same things often n i write a Lot in tags n ramble sm n i genuinelly will be embarrassed if ppl actually #read this but pls i just like talking to myself i don't do it for attention T_T but I SHOULD REALLY FIX THESE STUFF UP #i think i've just been rambling for the past hour . idk i just really love n appreciate a lot of stuff in life n there's no end to what i #cld just write about like this to myself. n i write even more in my notes oh dear #i seriously look forward to so much this year i'm going to put my regrets behind me n just look towards doing the future #the best i can do is just be kind to myself n do what i can n do what i love uwahh #ok genuinely i still do feel rather stressed n anxious n i'm pretty sure i just wrote that earlier but uh my mind is a mess at this hour #i should not be on tumblr past midnight or when i'm sleepy . i've really made a habit of writing so much in tags #school starts like tmrrw now n thankfully my sleep got mostly fixed. i have so much more i want to do but i'll make sure to #take care of my health at least. for the past 2 weeks now i think i usually sleep around midnight (earlier typically) n never later than 3 #I'M HAPPY W THAT sleeping better rlly improved a lot but it's so hard to start making that change when. Yeah but here i am now <3 #that said though i'm gna stop. rambling now i wna be a bit more productive before i sleep but gn in advance ><