#if I dont say im hurt and sad

[n0phis]

reading the twt news feed like

"the dsmp wasnt even that goood" -> fair

"yall need to let it go" -> i dont like twitter very much

#let people like stuff <3 #instead of talking about it on twitter where its inevitably gonna go south #im just gonna be melancholic on here i know u guys understand god bless #tham talks #its just a sad mentality to see i filly understand some ppl are out of hand but what possibly prompts tweets like that #seeing ppl say the dsmp was great? who does that hurt LMAO it was great for a ton of ppl . maybe not objectively but its twitter #u dont need to constantly preach objectivity #just enjoy shit #im 20 now im too old for this ive used up all the hate in my heart

[yellowocaballero]

Been a fan of your fics for YEARS. I was just telling my friend how despite how much I read fics I never actually love them, with some of your fics (especially TMA) as the exception. Felt the need to reread some of them and saw you reblogged some ISAT fanart. So. Any thoughts on ISAT you'd like to share?

Hope you have a wonderful day!! So happy I found your fics again!!

I avoided answering this for a while because I was trying to think of a way to cohesively and coherently vocalize my thoughts on In Stars and Time. I have given up because I don't want to hold everybody here all day and I have accepted that my thoughts are just pterodactyl screeching.

I love it so much. I have so much to say on it. It drove me bonkers for like a week straight. I have AUs. It's absolute Megbait. They're just a little Snufkin and they're having the worst experience of anybody's life. Ludonarratives my fucking beloved.

I am going to talk about the prologue.

The prologue is such a fascinating experience. You crack open the game and immediately begin checking off all of the little genre boxes: mage, warrior, researcher, you're the rogue...some little kid who's there for some reason...alright, you know the score. You're in yet another indie Earthbound RPG, these are your generic characters, let's get the ball rolling.

Except then you realize that these characters are people. You feel instantly how you've entered the game at its last dungeon, at the end of the adventure. They have their own in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They get along well and they're obviously close, but not in a twee or unrealistic way. They have so much chemistry and spirit and life. I fell in love with them so quickly.

But Sif doesn't. Sif kind of hates them, because they will not stop saying the same damn thing. They walk the same paths, do the same things, make the same jokes, expect Sif to say the same lines. They keep referencing a Sif we do not see, with jokes we never see him make and heroic personality he never shows - they reference a Sif who is dead - and Sif can't handle that, so he kills them too.

They become only an exercise in tedious frustration. Sif button mashes through their dialogue, Sif mindlessly clicks the same dialogue options, Sif skips through the tutorial, Sif blows through the puzzles. Sif turns their world into a video game. Sif is playing a generic RPG. Sif forgets their names. They are no longer people with in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They're the mage, the warrior, the researcher, and...some random kid.

I did not understand the Kid's presence at first. I had no idea what they contributed to the game. They didn't do anything. As a party member in a video game, they're a bit useless. Why is the Kid there?

Because Sif's life isn't a video game. Because the kid isn't 'the kid'. They're Bonnie. Bonnie, who the party loves. Why is Bonnie there? Because they love them. There is no room for Bonnie in the boring RPG that Sif is playing. And then you realize that Sif is wrong, and that they've lost something extremely important, and that they'll never escape without it.

Watching the prologue before watching ISAT gave ISAT the most unique air of dread and horror, because you crack open ISAT and you see the person Sif used to be. You realize that Sif used to be a person. Sif used to be the person who made jokes, who gave real smiles, who interacted with the world as if they are a part of it. And you know you are sitting down to watch Sif lose everything that made them a person, to lose everything that made them a member of this world, and turn them into a character in a video game who doesn't understand the point of Bonnie at all.

At the climax of the game, when the others realize that something is deeply wrong and that Sif physically cannot tell them, they realize that there is nothing they can do. So Bonnie declares snacktime. And for the first time they have snacktime.

What is snacktime? Classic JRPGs don't have snacktime. There's literally no point to a snacktime - not in a video game, and not in Sif's terrible life. It's not fixing this, because nothing can fix this. But Bonnie gives Sif a cookie and Sif eats it.

It's meaningless. It's a cutscene. It didn't save Sif and it didn't change a thing. It will make no difference in the end.

But it did make the difference. It made all of the difference in the world. Bonnie is a character who you really don't understand the point of before you realize that Bonnie was the entire point.

ISAT is about comfort media. Why do we play the same video games over and over again? Why do we avoid watching the finale of our favorite shows? What is truly comforting: a story with no conflict, or a story where you always know what is about to happen? Do you want to live in a scary, uncontrollable world, or do you want to play Stardew Valley? Do you want a person or a character?

When I beat Earthbound for the first time (and if you don't know, the prologue/ISAT battle system is just Mother) and watched the ending cutscene where the characters part ways and say goodbye...I felt a little bit sad. I wanted them to be together forever. But that's something only characters could ever be.

#these aren't deep or unique thoughts they're just the specific aspect of ISAT that made it one of the most interesting gaming experiences #i actually like the prologue much more than ISAT for just this reason #its honestly a video game art piece that's created to give the player a very specific experience #that makes them an aspect of the narrative that is told #it's. incredible. #in stars and time #start again start again start again #start again: a prologue #isat #god and there is so so so so much more to say here #what a rich and complex and fascinating game that made me cry like a baby #i dont even kin sif. we arent similar at all. #i cant imagine how devastating this game would have been if i did #but I do have a deep relationship with escapsim #and i write about it a lot #and video games about being video games are wonderful #as are stories about being stories #and why we consume stories. how we use them. how they save us and hurt us. #never played a video game that used its medium so well #i bet undertales also pretty good at that but this is more so i think #stories about stories have to be about why we love stories #and im not an artsy person and i roll my eyes a bit when people talk about the spiritual neccesity of art #i think people need stories because the world is sad and hard and boring and we want to think about something else for a while. #some people need to be anywhere but here #and sometimes if you're Lil Depressed-Ass Snufkin that looks like being here forever #baby cringe-ass snufkin big hat idiot

[the-bi-fangirl-biatch]

"oh, crowley. nothing lasts forever."

"no, i don't suppose it does."

#im just so tired and sad man #oh aziraphale you bloody idiot why would you say that to someone who bared their entire heart to you #i dont blame you but it hurts so fucking bad #good omens season 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens 2 #good omens #go2 spoilers #inefabble husbands #aziraphale x crowley #aziraphale good omens #crowley x aziraphale #crowley good omens #michael sheen #david tennant and michael sheen #david tennant #neil gaiman

[deoidesign]

I'm sorry if what I say is wrong in any way, I don't mean to offend you, it's just something I'm not completely sure about. Does Adam use he/they or they/them pronouns? I think I saw a post of yours where you said that Adam uses he/they, but it was a while ago and now I'm not completely sure (and I don't want to use the wrong pronouns)

I know you don't mean anything by it, but I am sad that so many of the asks I get start with people saying "I'm sorry, I don't want to offend you" or some variation thereof, followed by completely normal questions. I think I may have been responding too harshly to too many things and given the impression that I'll jump at people for being wrong...

But asking clarifying questions is always okay. I mean, it's also okay to be wrong and even offensive. What matters is if you learn from it when someone points out that it was wrong or offensive. I won't stop telling people they're saying something hurtful if they are, but I don't want that to lead people to be scared of me or something.

Correcting people is always just about correcting them, not hurting them. It's okay to need to be corrected, were all learning new things every day.

Anyways Adam uses he/they, you remembered correctly

#i dont like when people pry about personal things #especially not when it's accusatory. I'm admittedly sensitive to a lifetime of people denying my identity #people saying i dont count as bi. or nonbinary. or disabled. #and so i tend to take questions around these as people trying to 'sus me out' as a fake or something... #and I'm always going to try to explain. generally gently... how these things are hurtful to me personally #or in the case of my characters how certain things can (in my opinion) be harmful mindsets to have #but i dont carry them with me and im not mad #im just 26 and kinda tired of making myself small to make other people more comfortable. #so. if im uncomfortable ill just say jt! #and ill do my best to explain why so people can maybe learn from it #but as someone who. i talked about this recently elsewhere. as someone who has anger management issues #and unfortunately has had to deal with people i care deeply about being scared of me... #it just makes me sad to see anons being scared of me. #that's all #im not upset or anything. just trying to be a better person. #I'm learning everyday too #asks #anon

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

[turtletoria]

i feel like an incredible hater for this but i feel as i get older the more my tolerance for shipping decreases. like i went from an avid enjoyer to just tolerating ship art to now getting outright upset and fighting the urge to curse every time i see shipping content (this doesnt apply to my mutuals and friends who ship things because they can do no wrong ever)

#idk why it boils my blood like that. like genuinely it makes my online enjoyment really take a steep nosedive since 99.9% of any fandom- #content is shipping #maybe its the hater in me. maybe its the aroace tendencies in me. maybe im just antisocial and disagreeable. idk! #like shipping isnt morally bad or anything it just makes me so sad. idk #like ppl always prioritize romance over friendship and make fun of friendships as if they arent gay enough or smth and it rlly hurts me. id #like idk how to say it. everyone can have fun and stuff but it rlly makes me feel like im having fun wrong bc shipping looks fun but i cant #stomach it. like i miss having fun like that but i cant stand it anymore #like friendships r so devalued and even in frienship is magic type media friendships STILL take a backseat like whats up with that #like i hope this isnt coming across like a “i hate romance! i hate love!” kind of post but more so a why dont ppl focus on characters if - #they cant be romantically involved? #like i will alwaayyss be bitter abt willow from toh getting sidelined until she could be shipped with hunter like that pissed me off so bad #but like ur fave characters cant stand alone they neeeed to be romantically involved with someone for their love or dedication to be real #like love and dedication cant be genuine unless theyre romantically or sexually attracted? idk man #talking abt this is tricky bc u can fall into anti-sex/conservative rhetoric with this but i hope u can understand what im saying #like sex is great and romantic love is great but i wish the greater public would just have some freedom to explore concepts of dedication- #and trust that go beyond that framework. like there was a comment on reddit that framed aroace as the nonbinary of relationships and I- #thought that was really neat. yeah

[angelpuns]

Me: living the dream masking again, life is good ( I am in denial lmao)

My body when I read something sad, funny, etc. That makes me feel a v strong emotion: oh I hope you're ready for all this physical sensation :)

#i dont think this post makes sense #but since ive been back at my parents house #aka v heavy masking again #whenever i read somethinf sad it physically hurts :/ #and just now i was reading smthb funny but instrad of laughing i went straight to #' oh im gonna throw up now' #I DIDN'T BUT I REALLY THOUGHT I MIGHT #anyway #rambles #not a vent #me saying inside jokes that no one really gets :/

[hindahoney]

The only people who benefit when black people and jews are divided are white supremacists

#research at my job rn is focused on the time frame at twitter immediately after kanye said all that stuff #so im having to read the absolute worst takes ever #about bs that he was saying at the time #and a lot of people were really exposed to these antisemitic conspiracy theories through kanye #and it just makes me really fucking sad idk #we are stronger when we are together #like jews have always been at civil rights rallies and fighting for equality of all kinds #we both experience discrimination and persecution from the same people #it isnt a competition white supremacists hate us too #a lot of the antisemitism im seeing from this sample set is the same conspiracies that have been around for thousands of years #about jews controlling minorities #so that they can... idk control the world and oppress white people? #but i cant recall a time where minorities actually started to believe they were being controlled by jews before this sample set #it hurts it really does #anyway ill always support black people and jews and i dont have to choose between the two #i took a course with some incredible professors that are like the forefront academics of african american and african diasporic studies #called the intersectionality of jewishness and blackness #our histories arent just parallel #theyre intertwined #anyway ill get off my soapbox i just have to read this bullshit for my job and it made me upset lol #jumblr #judaism #frumblr #jewblr

[hella1975]

your sokka is SO sokka and i say this as someone who holds him so dear ur writing of him is amazing. tbh im sooo fussy with his portrayal but its pretty nailed. like so many fics (esp zukka and zuko centric and ESPECIALLY ones where hakoda like adopts zuko) he's constantly pushed to the side in favour of zukos issues and zukos problems when in reality sokka is very hurt himself and has suffered a lot. man i GET taob sokka i really do bc people seem to think he was a lil mean but nobody seems to realise when you're in sokkas position it would've read like everyone was against you. all the swt men, including his dad who snapped at him, and even katara and aang and suki tell him to give zuko a chance and the fact that they were trusting someone who had hurt all of them so much- because yes WE know zuko wouldn't have killed them, but the gaang didn't. not when they were being chased and terrorised, and when sokka had his trust betrayed in the prison, he had absolutely every right to hate zuko, esp when it felt like everyone who he thought would understand his feelings, including his own dad who had been hiding his relationship with zuko from him, seems against him. his conversation with hakoda was probably my favourite scene in taob just bc he was allowed to feel like that without being treated by the narrative as someone just being mean to poor little zuko. he gets to be a sourpuss and angry and jealous at zuko for feeling like hed been replaced by his own dad. all of the water tribe men get this treatment like they're not written as bad people for being wary or disliking zuko initially (even chena despite being enemy no.1 at the start). his convo with hakoda was so important bc it stressed the detail that yes zuko has suffered and deserves to be cared for but SOKKA is his son, his actual child who is so hard on himself for things out of his control and who has hurt so much and deserves just as much as zuko does. sokka is just a baby my boy. he's not the main character but he's just as complex and intricate as zuko, not just in taob but also for the times we have seen him in tams there's been keen detail to his emotion and how he's feeling pointed out

me rn

#BESTIEEEEEEEEE YOU GET IT <333 #like ik the atla fandom including unfortunately some taob locals are generally AWFUL with sokka when zuko is involved #but it really was only a handful of taob readers esp in the grand scheme and i do want to clarify that #but now we're on the same page. OH MY GOD WHEN I SAY I WANTED TO PHYSICALLY FIGHT SOME PEOPLE #JUST THE SHAMELESS FAVOURITISM??? THE EXPECTATION THAT I TREAT A CHARACTER AS SOMETHING NOT-HUMAN BC THEY HAPPEN TO BE MEAN TO THEIR FAVE?? #like idc if zuko means a lot to you!! idc if it's sad seeing people be mean to him bc you relate to him so much!! #id be a terrible writer if i treated the other characters as planets in zuko's orbit. THEY dont know they're in his story #and sokka is a fucking sixteen year old. like come on i get mad when people do the same with chena being a dick to zuko #but at least he's a grown man. sokka is a TEENAGER. even if he was being irrational that would be completely fair #bc teenagers ARE FAMOUSLOY IRRATIONAL!?!?!?! GO OUTSIDE??!?!?!!? #anyway. im so normal about this topic and hold noooo grudges not any haha #remembering when someone commeted saying me personally as a real life person i was insidious and evil for insinuating #that adopted children arent worth as much as biological children and i should NEVER adopt bc im clearly the Worst #when that is not only an insane thing to say to a stranger on the internet but also. not what happened #hakoda never adopted zuko. that's a joke made in fandom. jokes are when people say untrue things for comedic affect #adoption is an actual official process of willingly and actively bringing a child into your family #NOT taking some teenage symbol of your culture's oppression as a prisoner and unwillingly growing attached #and now he's someone you're fond of and feel protective over as is natural of an adult towards a hurting child #but your actual son feels replaced and it's especially cutting bc of aforementioned symbol of your culture's oppression #and also this specific kid was a dick to him. like as a pretty notable part of his character he was a dick to him #so you reassure him bc that is your actual real life son. yeah? #are we on the same page? are we good? please i dont know how much more i can take- #taob asks #ask

[silenthillbunni]

🐰🌧️

#so on my way home.. #i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future #i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were #bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected #a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati #that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful #and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old #live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :) #you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :) #you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!! #you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u! #whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️ #god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE #i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things #now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao #there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives #by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it. #or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me #only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die #bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything #for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!! #not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right #i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax #but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭 #my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became #bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life

[nailgunstigmata]

i like jealous dennis but honestly what im hoping for is dennis who wants to see mac succeed and when he does just gets sad about it. like what we saw in gets romantic, when dennis supported mac trying to have his lovestory with the guy and just lingered in the background looking kind of upset. he played the music for mac. he tried to help him. he wasnt happy about it, but he tried to help. because he wants to convince himself he doesnt want and doesnt need mac and is willing to let him go.

and idk but i kinda feel like when he does see mac succeed and win the guy over it doesnt suddenly flip over into anger but into sadness instead. maybe this is just me being delusional and wanting to see dennis be a sopping wet loser but idk. i think dennis does want mac to succeed (if only to prove to himself he doesnt need him) and i dont think hes willing yet to show he cares enough to throw a tantrum. he might quietly seethe a bit, but i dont think he’ll actually get angry.

i think that when mac actually chooses someone other than dennis, he wont be mad because theres nothing to be angry at. it just means he wasnt good enough

#idk im just rambling. just saying words #its just my opinion idk #but i hope dennis does actually want to help mac and then has to see him be with the guy and kinda go oh. well #and idk but i want it to be not as much jealousy as its just sadness. hes sad. it hurts. i want it to hurt because anger is an easy out #does this make sense? probably no. #what im trying to say is that for some reason i dont see dennis being angry and scheming about macs bf i think he‘ll just be dejected #and it will fuck things up for them but dennis wont admit to himself why hes upset #hes too repressed for that!!! i need him broken like a glowstick #if i had a point here i lost it i think

[boxwinebaddie]

Uncle Nina, do they do HYH in the RM universe?

OOOOOH!!!!! it’s interesting that ur asking me this, anon.

— because i wanted to say No ( bc you know, they got their own distinct style scent thing going, the smile pendejo thing, like its all the same but its different )

However...

so me and the ~wife~ ( cue me saying HI! ;) louder than anyone else ) were talking abt the ravesey divorce para i was writing where kyle was getting all his messy jersey bad boy attack dog battle wounds patched up by pacifistic gentle punk rock angel medic!ravenstan...

and that...while he was bandaging kyle's knuckles up ( you know, before laying all those tiny hello kitty and care bear bandaids ) raven definitely tenderly kissed Each One of jersey's knuckles...AND THAT GAVE ME MENTAL PROBLEMS BC YOU KNOW HE DID!!! you know he was so gentle, attentive and Loving!!!! which given The Context!!!

AAAAAA!!!!!! -bangs my head in the car door screaming-

anYwAys!

but i just Know that jerseykyle, who is never surprised, never caught off guard, never vulnerable, does not fluster and NEVER blushes, was completely captivated. all wide-eyed and stuttering like

"wh-what? whaddaya—stan, what are you doin—“

then stan gets to the last knuckle, kisses it, puts his hand down & kyle, putting all the pieces together like the logician he is, is like...

"oh my god...ya still do that?

— from when we were little kids?"

and kyle squints, then shakes his head in disbelief like...

"'..cause ya mom, said that if you get hurt,

and you don't kiss it betta...It Won’t Heal Right."

and ravenstan just leans up and kisses jersey on the cheek — right where he has a cut — puts a hello kitty bandaid over it, and then...

in the softest, saddest, sentimental voice, smiles & says,

"Hope You Heal." :')

WHICHKHDSK RAAAAH!!! WHY WOULD I DO THIS!!!

i hate the ravesey divorce. i hope i fucking heal..

…bUT MAYBE NAUGHT WTF????!!!

-uncle nina, ~wheN WoRLDs cOLLidE~

#anyways #hell is a place #this directly mirrors a fb i was going to write but never did #where stan throws a ball on the playground in kgarten #it hits kyle in the face and stan is all freaked out like #did i hit you??? oh my god??? and kyle is like YEAH STUPID AND NOW IM GONNA HIT YOU winding up to Punch Him #but stan is still like hyperfixated like okay where did i hit you kyle? Exactly Where? #and hes like what the fuck do u think u fucken idiot right where the lump is forming in the middle of my gahdamn che-- #and stan jumps up on the bench where kyle is reading this gigantic greek mythology book yes its hades and persephone dont talk to me #and kisses kyle on the cheek and is like PhEw! i hope its in the right spot AND KYLE IS SHOOK LIKE dID YOU JUST KISS ME #and stan is like!!! ofc i did!!! my mom says that if you get hurt and dont kiss it better it wont heal right...so #*stan sigh and smile* I Hope You Heal :) <3 #and kyles hand is on his cheek all dizzy like...Me Too #ANYWAYS!!!! it was for pep but tbh now its applicable to rm #especially bc kgarten kyle had the jersey accent its canon #BUT YEAH WERE IN HELL I HATE THE RAVESEY DIVORCE BUT IF U WANT THE SAD HCS OF WHAT THEY WERE LIKE #BROKEN UP I HAVE THOSE #BUT UH I HOPE YOU HEAL WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS MY ACROSS THE NCUNIVERSE MOMENT #i'm gonna start screaming this is misery dude

[anaalnathrakhs]

it's rlly fun how my parents just straight up. do not care. about the disordered eating. we had all this talk back when i went through a big suicidal crisis a couple months ago, i explained what was really difficult for me, eating socially, restaurants, not choosing my food, etc, and now it's like. okay it didn't exist actually.

mother i am not going to order you around, either you accept that i'm gonna have difficulty dealing with "normal people behavior" or whatnot and you stop looking at me like :/ anytime i am anything but ecstatic at the idea of eating anything anytime anyhow, or you adapt your behavior to avoid the results you don't like to see. i'm only doing my best to handle things from my side, and i am certainly not going to try measuring for you how important family social eating occurences are to you.

#''we should talk abt it uwu'' WE TALKED ABOUT IT. STOP COMPLAINING THAT DOING STUFF THAT I CAN'T EASILY HANDLE MAKES ME WEIRD. #EITHER YOU ASSUME IT'S GOING TO MAKE ME WEIRD BECAUSE YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW AND WHY #OR YOU STOP DOING IT IF IT'S SO UWU HEARTBREAKING UWU FOR YOU TO WATCH #i'm not happy about how guilty i am too of that specific brand of ''oh this is so sad *continues doing nothing*'' form of ''compassion'' #they just want me to perform anorexia recovery for them #so they can feel okay we're doing a good job at raising a normal child #they don't give a shit as long as the compusive eating is my mom's meal at the dinner table #just like they didnt care when i had roughly the same problems but not as bad before i had a restrictive phase #i cannot compromise because then WHAT im just hurting my parents for a situation that doesnt make me any happier either? #i do not want to live with them. i do not want to go place or do activities with them. #i dont want to talk to them most of the time and im perfectly willing to handle the times it could be cool to. #but it's really hard to start developping a life of your own when you first of all need like two weeks of total life-reset #quiet at home #and ''at home'' there's your parents who will simply not stop trying to pull you into going random bullshit places #and i can't say no. because the places ARE interesting and time-limited. and it makes them happy. and what am i gonna do anyway? #keep doing nothing on the computer and wait for them to come back to keep doing only the shittiest parts of this unsatisfactory routine? #try to do some work in the house or go out. for them to see that something happened? #i dont know how to live like a normal person #literally not once in my life have i been able to think ''oh i need to do X'' and then just. do X. prepare what's necessary for doing X. #go out and do X. i have to keep stuck at this computer or in this room or with this book. #because there is a million different obstacles to every single thing i'm trying to achieve and half of them are parents-shaped. #everything hurts holy shit #broadcasting my misery #vent #ed tw

[princekirijo]

Riku's the kinda guy to sit there and be like "wow my friends and family should hate me because I really am a worthless person", turn around and be like "I am literally the most attractive person in the room" and then move on like nothing happened

#oc tag #riku kirijo #shout out to nico for tagging that post as riku. the one about the characters who think they're worthless but hot af #yeah thats my boy in a nutshell #brain: i thought we weren't going to mention riku much until we properly introduc- me: fuck it we ball #riku is def the kinda mf who will say the most incredible sad and self deprecating shit and then be like. oops lol!!! and carry on #cant help being a teenage lad with mental illness ig 💀 #the thieves are very concerned to say the least #especially because surprisingly riku keeps a lot about himself to himself if you get me #you know how the people who are often hurting the most are the really upbeat ones who when you think about it you dont knwo shit about #thats him. if that makes sense #im slowly weaving together all his traits and stuff and i think its making sense now #uh but yeha like the thieves didnt even know he was that kirijo until they met his mother 😭 #riku will tell you the different classifications of swords before he tells you he has two moms 💀 and who they are 💀 #i do love throwing riku around like a stress ball in my brain. it helps distract me

[makinations]

HILARIOUS to see gojo, who up until his evil box imprisonment, is this heartbreaking character who got locked up in the first place BECAUSE he was still human even with all his godlike strength. And all that happened to him post-evil box all the way to his death is him acting like an emotionless war seeking freak.

Like think about it. His reaction to nanami dying was “ohhh that sucks :// oh well” and megumi getting taken over was “i can punch you real hard cause you look like Him :D” and his death chapter stated that his only regret was that he didn’t get to make sukuna give his all. Really??? So much of gojo’s character is below the surface yes but you have to admit there’s a bizarre mishandling of his character here.

It’s like he wasnt given enough time to actually feel human and all the focus was put into making him as cool as possible in a dick measuring contest with sukuna. No substance at all. Good job man. With his death, gojo ends as a guy who WAS defined by his strength til the very end. No human person underneath all that.

#and yeah you can argue that hes purposely not killing sukuna because he wants to save megumi #you can say that sukuna is fighting to kill and gojo is fighting to incapacitate because he cares about megumi #you can say that hes hurting underneath it all and hes a person who actively represses his emotions to avoid dealing with it #you can say all these things and truly i believe this too!! #but you cant tell me that the way his character ended isn’t disappointing at the very least #heres a guy whos been defined by his strength all his life and he died believing thats all he can ever be to the world #he will always die in a battlefield because gojo satoru without his strength is not gojo satoru at all #isnt that sad??? doesnt that make you crazy??? #its tragic!! if you strip away all the shine gojo is a sad sad man #and i dont wanna be like oooh im smarter than the author and i can write gojo better blah blah #but it makes you think was this gege’s intention (i def dont think it is LOL) #i think he just wanted to get rid of gojo fast cause he needed to die for his students to rise #and isnt that just sad #and now hes dead and his last ever cover art is him looking dogshit ugly #🚬🗿 i truly fucking hate it here #gojo satoru #jjk 236 #jjk manga spoilers #💭.txt #this was so long my b #jujutsu kaisen spoilers

[faineant-girl]

i wish all addicts, in recovery or not, a life free of sorrow forever

#.vent #kinda. im not gonna delete this one though #i just. i sure am thinking about this a lot. #i listen to like. trip report videos or whatever and like. the comments section on every single one. just nasty #theres no sympathy for an addict to be seen. unless they're also an addict or are recovering #my dad is a recovered addict. hes been clean for 6 years. i love my dad and hes a wonderful person. #i obviously still have trauma from when he was actively in his mess. to deny that addicts have caused others trauma is to be reductive. #addicts can cause trauma because theyre people. and people can cause trauma all the same #but the lack of understand or care or basic respect to anyone dealing with addiction is just. appalling. #im sick and tired of hearing the same old fucking phrase that its the addicts fault cuz they decided to take the first hit. like #man how fucking cruel can you be. how heartless ya know. #like its obvious hardly anyone commenting abiut this knows anything about what being an addict is like. like. #i know i dont. ive been sober my whole life right. i do not have the same experience. #but. i have a compulsive disorder that makes me perform a task that is 1 harmful 2 almost entirely out of my control #and i cannot describe to you how difficult it is to ignore that urge. for your mind to know what youre doing is harmful. but #your body physically is not listening to you. #like. its a different thing when its addiction. but being compelled to do something you know is hurting you isnt unfamiliar to me #plus with addiction the added factor that your body becomes physically dependent on a drug and it hurts you for a long ass time to try and #stop and withdrawl can sometimes literally be lethal. its so fucking sad to see people hold not even. like an ounce of sympathy ya know #if an addict has abused you im not saying you need to forgive them. you dont. but not every addict is youre abuser #and while you do not need to be involved. every addict deserves a good life. everyone deserves a chance. #just. god. makes me mad. makes me upset. #if you are an addict especially if youre not in recovery. i hope your days go well. i hope the world gets kinder to you.