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#if i do all that ill be really proud of myself today
yo9urt · 27 days
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video games....
#mine#i love my steam deck sooooooooo much im so happy i can actually play games again like a big proper library of them#and everything#everything on steam AND emulators is available to me. do you know how many games that is!#i started a new beegee3 playthrough on the HARDEST DIFFICULTY (!) today. which is also a single-save difficulty#and im in one of the most difficult parts of the game right now (level 4) and kind of nervous lol#but at the same time im really proud of myself for learning the game to the point i feel comfortable challenging myself in it#and im happy i get to at all :D i love you video games#and sooner or later ill come back to stardew valley cause there was that big update and i have some games on my wishlist too#and its not verified yet but i might play that pomeranian making the house dirty game cause it looked cute#oh and yakuza also because my friend got two of the yakuzas for me#YAYYYYY GAMES#also kind of sad though because tomorrow i pack and sunday i go back for babys last quarter of college#and im worried about how busy its going to be with classes and job apps and then of course actually graduating#and moving out and haivng a job and stuff#when all i want is to enjoy being able to play video games again.... sig#sigh*#WHATEVER...future mes problem#oh i almost forgot...one of the best parts of the deck imo is the versatility because with games like beegee3#you can play it in controller mode which has its pros and cons but you can also swap to computer mode#which also has its pros and cons so like. i can adjust as needed#when im just exploring or trying to loot an area etc i go controller#but when im in combat i go computer because the hotbar is REALLY helpful for decision making#its really nice to have the option to choose since no console players have that it seems#and the only pc players who can do that are the ones who have and are willing to connect controllers#and most of them dont seem to be into that#but im really glad to be able to do both#ok done yapping now
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seventh-district · 6 months
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it’s finally getting cold enough that i can bring my cardigan collection back into rotation without feeling like i’m gonna melt into a puddle the second i step outside!!!
#Seven.txt#my face#i have rematerialized back out of the void to once again make my once-in-a-blue-moon selfie & life update post#i’m running on 4 hours of restless sleep and the single banana i ate for lunch earlier today. let’s do this#hrrrrg i hate the lighting in my bathroom but i refuse to take pictures in the absolute Mental Illness Disaster Zone™️ that is my bedroom#anyways. got diagnosed with Mystery Pain Syndrome at the dentist today. so now i take ✨steroids✨#the less funny explanation is that my tooth still hurts with pressure nearly a month post-root canal and That’s Not Good#so we’re trying some new medications to see if that fixes it. and if not then who knows. root canal pt.2 the sequel. or extraction. sigh#and so the Dental Saga continues. todays visit went quite well in spite of the unforeseen mystery pain delaying the tooth-shaving plans#we had some time to kill so he managed to fill some of my other tiny cavities while i was there today so that’s good#okay moving on. what else. uhh. OH they finally came out and ran the fiber to the house last week!!! now i’m just waiting on one more-#-guy to come and finish the interior install and the long awaited fast internet will finally be mine eheheheheeeee#now i can feel my hours upon hours of unedited gameplay footage breathing down my neck :)#man i’ve got so much stuff piled up right now. i’m drowning in Tasks and it’s a lil overwhelming but i’ll handle it all! eventually#uhhhhm my current writing project is coming along well! i’ve never put so much time and effort into a oneshot before in my life#its a labor of love though and i think i’m gonna be really proud of myself (and the fic) once it’s complete#even if no one reads it bc it’s so goddamn self indulgent and kinda lowkey throws canon out the window but like. fuck it!#if i want Astarion to write a song on piano and perform it for me while mentally taking me on a trip down memory lane. then so be it#fr though i’ve never written anything quite like this and i rlly want to do it justice. even if its unrealistic i still want it to be Good#in other news i received word that one of the chickens i sponsor at my local Gentle Barn has passed away so i had a lil cry abt that#i feel so bad for his little tiny chicken wife. they obviously loved each other and it’s like. so sad when one half of an old couple dies#like. she pulled him out of his depression after his 1st wife died. now who’s gonna be there to pull Her out…#anyways let’s not get all sad about that again. in happier news my cat who i presumed died/got killed has returned home uninjured!!!#after that huge stray dog chased her into the woods i thought we’d never find or see her again#but then the morning after i started grieving her she showed back up hungry as hell yet completely unharmed like the enigma that she is#so that’s one definite highlight from earlier this month. uhh what else. rapid fire summary of the past few weeks let’s go-#Jersey turned 10! Bullet turned 10! my 6 year Veganniversary happened! i’m approaching 700 days on DuoLingo!#i’ve written more than 20 thousand words! i’ve been facing some fears! fighting my OCD! taking care of myself! (kinda!)#anyways things are far from being all sunshine and roses around here but i’m trying to focus on the good stuff for the most part#for now tho i have a headache and have reached 30 tags so it’s time to go shovel some mashed potatoes into my mouth :)
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undermostcorgi · 2 months
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the media which consumes your entire soul at age 12 will forever be a part of you. this is an unavoidable consequence of living and you have to accept this fact. no matter how old you get, no matter how long it has been since you last saw its smug face peeking out from the bushes as it follows you, no matter if you think you have outrun it for good and that you're finally finally safe and you hardly even remember it exists anymore and your brain knows a few brief moments of true peace, it WILL catch up to you in your moment of weakness. and listen you don't want to hear this but sometimes this is necessary for your mental health. you will on instinct want to reject it and run away again but sometimes. sometimes you just need to watch that old show or listen to that silly song or read that weird book again as an adult and it will hurt you a little bit in various little ways but it will also heal you a little bit. you can call it nostalgia you can call it connecting with your inner child or whatever you want but just listen to me it WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TOO AT SOME POINT AND YOU HAVE TO BE PREPARED FOR THIS (i am forcibly dragged off the stage by security)
#heed my warning boy#it seems i am not well today#recently made the reluctant decision to revisit what was probably my VERY FIRST real hyperfixation#something that i don't necessarily want to mention by name right now because. well#its pretty objectively bad LOL like i dont think i know of ANYONE still posting about it or really proud of having liked it back in the day#i dont think it is as well known to the general public so it wont get me hunted down for sport even if i did name it probably hopefully#but for those who know its. probably not the best thing to be revisiting lmao (even though i think it might still be being made?? wtf)#but i felt i had to because i was about to start my period and was going crazy insane like you do you know how it is#and i randomly remembered a fanfic i loved and then remembered my fav character and how much i loved him#my actual first ever blorbo oh my GOD he was everything to me#so i reluctantly decided to rewatch “just the first few episodes” just to see how much i remembered and also to prove to myself it sucks#but surprise surprise: nostalgia and hormones are making me actually kind of enjoy it#and now i am suffering from fucking Catholic-like Guilt for not hating it which i think is pretty silly lmao#so im kind of posting this in an attempt to convince myself that its like. FINE and cringe is dead and all that#and that sometimes i gotta be nice to my little mentally ill brain and give it the junk food (bad media) it craves#ESPECIALLY when im on my period LMAO#anyway completely unrelated: why the FUCK do i still remember almost every single fucking word to the delicious tomato song SDHJFKSAJF#i hope no one actually reads this far in the tags bc i know that reveal will probably deal psychological damage to some of you LMAO SORRYYY#ok yeah posting this and then immediately going to bed so that the Haters cant reach me LOL SEE YA
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altruistic-meme · 2 years
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i am starting to kind of enjoy cooking. just a bit, i think.
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yeah so apart from a small assignment a professor gave me an extension for, i am all done this semester and thank goodness for it.
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silverislander · 1 year
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something really fun and sexy adhd will do is block you from ever actually showing others what you're truly capable of. lol
#this is SO inconsequential but im kinda upset abt it#i finished my final american lit paper today. 9 pages kind of a big deal. im glad its done now#but i cant even be proud of it#bc i changed my original idea four times and only wound up with a week to work on the final version which. wasnt really enough time#and it morphed while i was writing it too bc i came up with a better angle#but now its really disorganized which i know ill lose points on. and i Know its not my best work#but i dont have time to fix it bc its due tomorrow#and just. if i hadnt put this off. or hadnt kept chasing down whatever new fun shiny thing i came up with instead#its not even a bad essay its just. i could for sure do better. i had three weeks i could have CRUSHED this#smth that really shows what im capable of and could net me the grade i know i can get when im at my best#its the difference between a 70 and a 90 but it matters to me#i started it early and still wound up rushing myself and procrastinating#all bc this is what my brain just always fucking does#levi.txt#and to top it all off i REALLY like this prof. ive taken two courses with him hes super cool and ive had actual fun in his classes#... and This is the impression i have to leave him with. a half assed mess#i know he knows what i can do and im so disappointed i couldnt pass smth better in to prove it#esp bc its the LAST paper i will ever write in one of his classes :(#like. my original idea was a historical overview and it wound up talking abt depictions of the thing instead#so i have like 3 paragraphs of Just history/background that i dont know how to break down and integrate and its MESSY#im not a perfectionist in any other aspect of life but when it comes to papers i absolutely am. i wish i had time to fix this
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entropys · 2 years
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had a very enlightening and meaningful conversation about social media with my best friend today and i feel like that conversation was too good that i need to write a post about it sometime
#not now tho some other time when i feel like it#but im really glad we had this conversation#we also had another conversation about communication between us 2 and i feel like if i had a therapist they’d be proud of me for doing this#i am a person that cannot handle conflict whatsoever so me and my best friend actually never had a fight#which is.. not healthy i think since we’ve known each other for about 9 years now and have been close for 7 years#damn now that i think about wow.. i’ve known them since middle school and we’ve been besties since high school#but anyways yeah i told them that there’s absolutely no way we haven’t upset one another at some point but we both are kinda the same so we#dont say anything ever… and just keep being upset on our own then the other would keep making the same mistake bc they dont know#and its like a never ending cycle..#and that bc we dont say anything whenever they upset me i keep thinking of all the other things they’ve done that upset me and drive myself#crazy.. and it got to the point where i need to do something about it or ill explode but i just CANT tell them what they did to upset me#i can’t do it i can’t handle it so i came up with a genius idea#every time they upset me i will write about it in my notes app like i always do and they’ll do the same#then we’ll have a day called confession day where we gather them all in a paper and exchange papers and never talk about it again 🫶#bc then it’ll be like we both upset each other and we dont want to discuss it or have a fight so its just a way to let each other know#and i think it will help us grow closer and it will make being alive more bearable and i will enjoy their company even more#i know that we should maybe start discussing things at some point but baby steps im sure we’ll get there some day#anyways i really love my best friend im glad theyre alive im glad today happened#they had an accident recently and are currently recovering from an injury do u know how scared i was#im glad theyre here with me :’) gonna go cry and be sappy now goodnight#actually im gonna attempt to study i have 2 midterms tomorrow i did all this when i should be studying#but if i could repeat my day i wouldn’t change a thing#*
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lostarchivesoforpheus · 6 months
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Hello! Could you do Pure Vanilla Cookie x Fem! Ancient reader, whose kingdom is like a spiritual kingdom and The Reader Is just very stressed?? Like, very little time to eat, sleep, ect. How could PV maybe comfort her?? Have a nice day!!
`•- Time for Yourself
pure vanilla cookie x fem reader
summary: pure vanilla notices you haven't been acting like yourself lately. how does he help you feel better?
warnings: physical touch, pure vanilla is kind of a worry wart, also im not super proud of the writing on this one so im sorry if it's not as good as my other stuff :((
a/n: is it bad that when i went to the store today and saw pure vanilla extract on the shelf i thought of pure vanilla cookie
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Pure Vanilla Cookie has noticed the lack of letters you've been sending him recently.
Of course, he knows that ruling a kingdom is no simple ordeal, and, of course, there's no way you would be able to send him a letter every day. However, despite that, you've always made sure to send him letters frequently and inform him of every nifty little thing going on in your life.
That is, up until roughly three and a half weeks ago.
You used to send him letters every four or five days to keep him updated on everything going on in your kingdom, and he always wrote back when he received your letters. However, when he responded to a letter you sent about three and a half weeks ago, you hadn't written anything back to him.
He found this behavior very strange, as you were always enthusiastic about being able to talk with him whenever you got the chance. Pure Vanilla Cookie was, frankly, getting rather worried about you and how you were doing. So, he decided to take a trip over to your kingdom to see for himself what was wrong.
When he finally arrived, Pure Vanilla Cookie was quick to stride towards your castle, making haste towards your office, where you spent most of your time. Gently knocking on the door, he quietly entered the room, as to not disturb you too much. He immediately notices your eyebags, the empty coffee mugs littered around your desk, and the way you don't even glance at him when he enters the room, thinking it was just some servant needing to ask a quick question or something of the like. Needless to say, when he spoke up, you immediately turned and stared at him in surprise.
"My Dear, has everything been okay lately?" He gently asks. "Ah! Pure Vanilla Cookie? What are you doing here?" You respond, shocked. You had no idea he was coming, you had no time to prepare, you didn't want him to see you like this.
"Are you alright?" He slowly walks toward you before draping his cloak over your shoulders, "You haven't responded to my letter for weeks, and you look awfully tired. How long have you been sitting here working today?" He looks at you with worry swirling in his eyes.
As you sit there failing to answer his question, he gently places a hand on your head and caresses your hair, sighing, "You need to remember to take care of yourself, you know. You can hardly handle this much work in the state that you're in. Why don't you rest for a bit?"
You look at him with tired eyes, attempting to provide a counter-argument, "I know, I know, but-" "No buts. You're going to go lay in bed and read a nice book to help you de-stress. I'll also fetch you some tea. Then, perhaps you can take a nap. You'll feel a lot better when you wake up," He suddenly picked you up, carrying you back to your bedroom before you can even say anything. Perhaps he was right though, as you were indeed doing a lot better the next morning. Perhaps self-care really is important after all.
a/n: not me writing a fic about self-care at 2 am when i haven't slept and i am in fact not taking care of myself lmao uhhhhhh i promise ill get some sleep once i finish up the rest of the requests i swear i pinky promise i swear
thanks for reading, and remember to take care of yourself! don't be like me lmao
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gladtobeagirl · 1 month
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My State of Health ...
I have to be honest with you. For the last few months I have been increasingly ill. It started with a bad headcold and cough, which became a chest infection and has now developed into pneumonia. In addition my eyes have become infected and are permanently full of goo so that I can't see properly much of the time. Now my right ear has become full of mucus, which has left me deaf in that ear. That wouldn't be a problem but I'm already deaf in my left ear after someone broke my left cheekbone many years ago just for being me - I told you my transition wasn't always fun. That damaged my eustacian tube and ultimately left me deaf in my left ear. So now I can't hear anything - even the voice of my beloved Anna. I am so unhappy and miserable at the moment.
I have tried to keep the blog running but it hasn't been easy. Anna has tried to help me but it's becoming too hard. She has taken time off work to look after me and I would have been lost without her. I'm stuck in bed, feeling as weak as a kitten. Anna makes sure I eat and drink and gives me my anti-biotics and puts eye-drops in my eyes. She helps me into the bath (even carried me on one occasion when I was really ill). It's not easy for her. A couple of times when I've had a really bad couging fit I've even pee'd myself (not proud to admit that) but she just dealt with it without a comment. I love her so much.
I start to feel better but then I just have a relapse and get worse. My doctor is threatening to admit me to hospital but I won't go. I was determined to write this this morning. You wouldn't believe how long it's taken me to do it - not helped by the fact that I can't stop crying. I feel so low today.
This, coupled with the fact that I still can't log directly into my tumblr home site for more than a second, and don't receive any new submissions, has made me reach a decision. You won't be hearing anything from me again until I'm better. I just can't do it anymore. I'm just so tired. I wanted to let everyone know that I've not just abandoned you all. Hopefully, I'll be better soon and then I'll be back. Look after youselves and your loved ones. Goodbye for now, Katie and Anna XXXX
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lilacnini · 9 days
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mutuals appreciation messages !!
haii!! i wanted to do this so here: (mainly did moots i interact with the most!!)
@copyhanni, thank you for basically everything, hye bae. everyday im always forward to texting u on the gc. and the way you always defend me is something i really admire in you. i love you to the moon and back <3
@naespas, nae i love you sooo much. you make me laugh every time when you send silly goofy little texts and images. your personality and spirit really makes me feel like myself and in tough times, your always there for me
@wonifullove, sav im sooo happy we got closer recently cause your the sweetest moot/best friend to me ever. your posts are amazing, and your jokes are >>>>. i think your the most relatable person i ever met too.
@bywons, sru you were one of my first moots ever when i made this. you were the moot that helped watched me grow and become who i am today. our dms together make me giggle and smile. thank you and ily ><
@nishions, hiii lizzz!!! im married to your works and ur acc. ur sweet personality makes me sooo excited to be around you. literally i remember the first time we met was through asks and here we are now. sending love and hugs
@yeokii, my twin bae!!!!! im so sad we js met recently but ur so relatable + so funny + so sweet + so amazing. ur acc truly feels like a safe place to be. hope we could get closer!!!
@atrirose, my angel, seiu <33 ur the sweetest person i ever met in tumblr. ur works make me levitate and cry every time i read them (good thing). your account themes are so gorgeous???????
@isoobie, riri bae!!!!!! i get soo excited when i see you in my inbox and my homepage. your bubbly and funny personality makes me smile everyday when im on tumblr. thank u for everything and love u !!!
@okwonyo, jiah u were literally my idol back when i was a enha reader. i was obsessed with your works and now the fact im moots w u plus interacted multiple times makes me feel super proud (hehe). i hope we could get close!!!
@yenqa, ik yen ur on hiatus but thank u sooo much for enjoying all my works. i love all ur works too + ur so funny. every time i see you interact or like my work, i get sooo happy cus if your happy im happy!! (miss u sooo much TT)
@jjunae, hai kae!!!! even though we dont interact too much, i want to appreciate all your works and your effort. you work so hard and im in love with every single piece you write. sending support and love <3
@sainns, anna!!!!! thank u for enjoying my works and once again supporting me. i saw you so many times on my tl before we even became moots and here we are now. (also thank u for defending me during times when i needed the most support. love u)
@ashtxrie, ash (or sunoo's gf), thank u for being one of my first moots. u were the one who supported my works. sending luck to your exams!!! u got this!! ><
@stariekis, my uri bby. you are truly an angel from heaven. your sweet compliments make me smile everyday. even though i know you won't see this due to your hiatus, i want to let you know how much i really appreciate your words. you truly are someone that i admire up to and love. thank you <3
@neos127, hai hai ky! we don't talk often but we've talked a couple times in our inboxes. even based on our small conversations, i noticed how sweet and kind you are. you truly are a person that everyone loves and will support throughout.
@stariikis, my ash, you were one of the first ppl who dmed me and reached out to become friends. you were one of the first ppl who was my age and became a friend of mine. i want to say you truly are a good person and ill support you throughout every moment. sending kisses ^3^
@hyeinkiss, via baefy!! even though we just met yesterday, i want to note how cute and sweet u r. the way u love my works make me so proud of myself. i truly hope u get all the love and attention u deserve. i love u sm via, i hope we could become close moots!!!
@onlyjjong, lili, my love sender. your lovely messages are the truly sweetest in the world. the way you always care for others and look out for outs is the best thing about you. i really hope to see u in my inboxes soon ><
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uzuicore · 9 months
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YOUR FAV COMFORTING YOU
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pairing: your fav x you genre: fluffy, angst summary: in which you're being too hard on yourself, but your fav comforts you cw: slight mention of eating disorders and mental illness
reblogs and comments are appreciated!
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Hues of bright orange painted the atmosphere as darkness descended inside the house.  Without the strength to get up from the large and soft, white sofa to turn on the lamps, you just groaned and kept glancing out the glass window framed by wide curtains.
The sound of the living room's doorknob reminded you that you didn't live alone, and after your partner entered the building, the yellowish glow surrounded you again.
"How was your day?" they raised a question after taking off their shoes, placing their phone on the small table in front of the couch, and sitting down next to you.
"I don't know, normal like any other day?" you replied without making eye contact.
"Really? 'Cause on other days, when I come home, you're not in the dark with that look on your face," they pointed out. "(Y/N) I think I know you better than I know myself, so if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine, but I know something's wrong."
You maintained your gaze at your trembling, sweaty hands until you let out, "I ate more sweets than I should have today," your shoulder slumped. "I said I'd get back to eating well and having healthier habits, but I couldn't control myself, again."
They pulled you to lie on their chest, their hand caressing your arm as they planted gentle kisses on the top of your head. "And that's all you've done today?" they questioned.
"Sorry?"
"I mean, last week you showed me the list of new healthy habits you wanted to keep, it was like five or so, right?" they illustrated. "What I'm asking is if you haven't managed to do any of them in the last few days," they concluded.
"Well, I," you stammered, "I managed to get up earlier, I exercised and I also ate more fruits and vegetables, but," they interrupted you.
"Wouldn't it be easier and kinder to yourself to acknowledge the things on your to-do list that you are managing to accomplish, rather than focusing on just one that's being more challenging?" they contested, now holding your face and making you look into their eyes. "Depending on the complexity of the habit, it takes us a month or even a year to form it, you know that?"
"I'm aware of that, but..."
"Are you really?" they pressed, standing and then crouching in front of you. Holding your hands in theirs, they recommended, "(Y/N) instead of trying to change everything in your routine so radically, why don't we try changing one thing at a time?"
"We?" you noted.
"Yeah, 'we'. 'Cause your plans will always include me too. Just as I want you in all my plans," they placed a kiss on your knuckles. "Stop being so hard on yourself, let's do this step by step, and together, okay?"
You embraced them and buried your face in their neck finally letting some tears run down your cheeks.  They caressed your hair as they whispered in your ear, "You're amazing, I'm proud of you, sweetheart."
JEAN, eren, armin, MIKASA, LEVI, erwin, hange, zeke GYOMEI, kyoujurou, TENGEN, TANJIRO, AKAZA
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© UZUICORE ON TUMBLR AND WATTPAD. DO NOT COPY, REPOST, EDIT OR TRANSLATE.
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sommarborne · 5 months
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Hey ya'll! My name is Kennedy and I started my small business Bunny Slander back in October. I primarily make candles, room mists, body scrubs, and handmade bar soap. Everything I do is basically inspired by horror, folklore, books, writing, media, and general fandom culture.
I kind of became obsessed with making soap and candles over the past year and have so many ideas I want to put into my products. One day, I would like to add my own original self-published work to Bunny Slander along with writing guides, planners, and other similar goodies.
This business is honestly everything to me. As someone who lives with chronic pain and illness, working for myself has pretty much been the ideal option for my future. Also, if I'm being for real, capitalism is the goddamn worst, and working for other people is a hellscape I have always wanted out of.
My business is queer-owned and embraces ethical practices. All of my products are completely cruelty-free, both in how I personally make them, but also in the ingredients I source to make everything. I shop for sustainable ingredients such as sustainably sourced palm oil. For me, cruelty-free is about ensuring animals and people are being treated with respect and fairness every step along the way.
I'm really proud of this company, and maybe more importantly, I'm really psyched about it. If you wanna support me today, please consider following me here and checking out my website at BunnySlander.Com
We are currently running a sitewide 25% off sale until 12/13/23. So check us out! And thanks ahead of time for your support. I want to use this space to show off my products and also connect with other small business owners and creators so feel free to shoot me a message or talk to me any time. So, hope to chat with you soon.
In the meantime, thanks for reading and check out these neat candles I have created that are based on some of the best tropes in books and fanfiction!
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hongcherry · 9 months
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pretty please (stay with me) || c.sc | 1
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"After being assigned a fashion show for your big senior project, you set off to find volunteers to make it successful. However, when you meet Choi Seungcheol and his unfriendly clique through your volunteers, you realize they’re an unwanted package deal you can’t escape from. Can you handle Seungcheol's obnoxious friends, and can he handle your brash behavior?"
🍒 Pairing: businessMajor!Seungcheol x fashionMajor!Reader (afab)
🍒 Rating/Genres/AUs: M(18+); Slice of life (!!!), slow burn, drama, fluff, angst; Unrequited enemies to lovers (lol), strangers to lovers, college au
🍒 Warnings: [general tw (won't be repeated in the other chapters)] reader has she/her pronouns (referred to as girl, miss), reader dresses really feminine, reader is not nice, character outfit descriptors, parent/family issues (marital problems), bullying | [chapter tw] “joke” that implies prostitution in a negative way, near car accident (rear end), brief mention of death thru a joke
🍒 WC: 14.8k
🍒 Betas: Huge shout out to my bae, @love-strike, for being with me throughout this whole process, for listening to me whine, for helping me brainstorm majors for OT13, and for being so supportive! tysm 😭 And thank you to @playmetheclassics, @here4kpopfics, @angelwoozi for also beta'ing this series! ty for your time and for your sweet feedback! i really cherish everyone's efforts and brains hehe 🥰💖 i understand this was not an easy task to take on.
🍒 Author's Note: HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY TO THE LOML, CHOI SEUNGCHEOL!!!!!!!!! 🎂♥️ I started this fic in September 2022 and contemplated even publishing it multiple times. I think this will be the first fic I've worked on for so long and published. Also, this is the longest fic I've ever written, so that's exciting! It was supposed to be one long one-shot, but I ended up writing way too much for a one-shot LOL. I'm really proud of myself for powering through and not abandoning it, as I've done in the past. I also wrote this all in past tense and spontaneously decided to change it to present 😪 Anyway, please enjoy the start of this couple's journey 😁
also read here: AO3 | Wattpad
seventeen masterlist | main masterlist
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previous chapter \\ series masterpost // next chapter
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When people say good students are those who arrive on time, you find it hard not to scoff. Professors should care more about how hard-working one is rather than if they show up on the dot.
Of course, you do try to make it on time, but can you really leave your house looking less than perfect? Absolutely not. Plus, the first fifteen minutes usually consist of professors getting set up for their classes, so you don’t feel like you are missing anything of importance.
Today is no different.
Ten minutes past the official class time, you stroll inside the room. Students are seated where they normally sit, some are on their phones, and others are trying to finish some last-minute homework assignments. It’s a fairly small class, and being in your senior year means everyone knows each other well. Although, most of the people in your class think ill of you and don’t talk to you.
At first, you thought it was a pity, but in the end, you realized you didn’t want to befriend those who would only talk shit behind your back. This is what you figured they did since they were never discreet when they exchanged whispers with their eyes glued to you. 
Luckily, you have at least one friend in the class. Quality over quantity, right?
“Right on time,” your friend, Dae, says with a sly smile when she spots you.
You chuckle and slide into the seat next to her. “Class started fifteen minutes ago.”
“It did, but you’re right on time for you,” she explains with a knowing grin.
“Guess I need to be more late from now on,” you tease as you take out your iPad.
The device is a holy grail to you. Majoring in fashion design means all your ideas and creations over the past few years are stored there. When you don’t have it, it’s stored in secret in your house. Maybe that’s a little excessive, but losing it would feel like losing a part of yourself. After all, art creations always include a part of the creator. The device almost feels like it’s an extension of yourself—something too personal for others to peek at.
Dae rolls her eyes. “Or you could come on time. That would be different.”
“Why would I? The first fifteen minutes are worthless,” you huff and open your notes.
“I wouldn’t quite say that,” Dae answers, sliding a piece of paper over. You glance down at it.
Prepare for the annual Senior Fashion Show! Students are to create their own fashion show with a theme of their choice. The show will be toward the end of the semester in the Main Theatre (official times and dates TBD). The project will count for 80% of your grade as this will require you to use all the skills you’ve acquired as a student. When creating your show, be sure to be mindful of the following…
“This was handed out at the beginning of class. Seems like we’re going to have to work with students from outside our department,” Dae comments after she gives you a few minutes to read everything.
So, this is it.
Every senior majoring in fashion design is required to participate. You attended every fashion show hosted during your time as a student here. You were always left in awe, motivated to be a student that would leave behind a name for themselves at the college. You want to inspire the next seniors just as the ones inspired you before.
While this assignment has your body giddy with excitement, there is a part you are dreading.
People skills are not your forte.
Not because you feel awkward talking to new people, but because the conversations always end unpleasantly. Sometimes with back-handed compliments, insults, or them trying to scold you. You hope that won’t be the case while recruiting volunteers.
“So, do we have the class period to start getting things together?” you question once you finish skimming through the instructions again. You’re responsible for a lot more elements than you anticipated. You need lighting, music, a theme, backstage helpers, hair and makeup artists, an advertiser, and most importantly, models. This is when you wish you had a large network. Though, every friend you tried to make didn’t end up lasting. Dae is the only person who has stuck by your side.
“Yup,” she replies. “We’ll be doing mini assignments throughout the semester to help us prepare. I think it’s just a way for Dr. Lim to give us grades so he doesn’t get in trouble.”
“Probably,” you sigh. You are already feeling stressed. Quickly, you scribble down a list of to-do’s in your notes.
“Do you have a theme in mind already?” Dae asks after a moment.
“No, do you?” you wonder.
Dae sits back in her chair, pen resting between her fingers. “I was thinking about something with space? Maybe my main colors will be blue, purple, and black.”
“Oh? Isn’t that what you’ve been doing, though? Don’t you want to try something different?”
Although the question is harmless, the tone of your voice must have rubbed Dae the wrong way. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and then looks at you again.
“Think of it as branding, okay? Why does it bother you so much?” she wonders with a frown. Realizing your mistake, you inhale slowly.
“It doesn’t. I didn’t mean to sound rude. I’m sure your stage will do well,” you reply, forcing a small smile on your lips.
“No ‘sorry’?” Dae asks despite knowing it isn’t part of your favorite vocabulary.
You narrow your eyes at her. “Nope. Just don’t be so defensive next time.”
“You’re insufferable,” Dae answers. “One day, you will be sorry for your behavior.”
Shrugging, you say, “There’s always a chance, but maybe if the world wasn’t so insecure, saying sorry wouldn’t be so wanted.”
Dae exhales disapprovingly at your thought process, displeased with your reply. “Well, for now, maybe try to be more empathetic?”
“I have bigger things to worry about right now. For instance,” you start, a finger at the top of your to-do list, “I’ve got to find someone who can provide me with music.”
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Fuck, it’s too loud in here.
The sounds of different instruments being played at once, all emitting different tunes, have a migraine bubbling in your head.
You make a beeline to the professor who is sitting in the corner. She is an older lady, evident by her wrinkles and gray hair. Yet, her features are soft, and the smile she gives you makes you feel at ease.
“Hello, miss, can I assist you?” she asks when you’re in hearing range.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt, but I was hoping you could help me with an assignment?” you wonder and offer her a kind smile, hoping she won’t shoo you away immediately.
“Ah, it’s alright. They’re just practicing for an upcoming assignment today. What is it you need, dear?”
“Who would you consider your best student? Is there a way you can get me in contact with them?”
The professor’s eyes widen slightly at the question. She didn’t expect that. Nevertheless, her gaze rises to scan the classroom.
“There,” she points as discreetly as she can. You follow her finger, which lands on a blonde-haired guy tuning his guitar. “Lee Jihoon. He’s the most talented student I’ve ever had.”
“This semester?” you ask out of curiosity.
The professor shakes her head. “Ever.”
You can’t stop the small disbelieving huff that escapes you. The best student ever? You aren’t sure how long she’s been teaching, but you doubt out of all her time, he is the best. He looks too young.
“Now, now, don’t judge a book by its cover,” she scolds gently. You have to force yourself not to roll your eyes at the phrase. You’ve heard it too many times that its meaning lost its effect on you.
“What makes him your best student?” you question, sight going back to the man who is oblivious to your stare. He sits next to another student who also has a guitar. They seem to be friends from the way they are laughing together.
“His work is versatile and very good. I’m positive he will be the perfect person for your project.” The way she speaks about him makes you believe her. There was no waver to her voice, and her eyes hold a fondness in them you know one can’t replicate if not genuine.
“How long until they have their assignment due?” you wonder, realizing you may have to wait until the class ends before you could talk to him.
The professor smiles. “I’ll let them have five more minutes so you can introduce yourself.”
Internally, you sigh in relief. You’re grateful you don’t have to wait.
“Thank you,” you say before strolling to the man.
As you near, his friend glances up. He’s mid-sentence when he spots you, eyes growing slightly at the sight of you. You’re used to getting looks like that. Your fashion is always dressier than the average college student's. People just aren’t used to it.
“Hi,” the brunette friend says. He has prince-like features, and you almost consider asking him to be one of your models. You give him a small grin out of politeness before turning to the whole reason you came over.
“Lee Jihoon?” you ask.
Jihoon’s mouth parts slightly in surprise. “Uh, y-yeah. Do I know you?”
“No. My name’s Yn. I have a project in a class and need someone to provide music for me. You won’t get paid, but any extra experience is always good, right?” you greet, not wanting to dance around the subject. After all, this is only the first of many on your to-do list.
“What major are you in?” he wonders, brows knitted in confusion.
“Fashion design,” you answer.
Jihoon is silent for a moment. “And how did you find me?”
This guy is more difficult than you wished. You just need him to say yes.
“I asked for the best student, and you were recommended. So, what do you say? Will you help me?”
Jihoon gives you a small smile, but something about it rubs you wrong. “Sorry, my plate is a little full right now—”
“Do you need money? I can give you some afterward.”
You try not to sound desperate. Lee Jihoon is not the only music major—this is obvious by the amount of noise you hear in the background.
But you never settle for less than the best.
You have been looking forward to this project since your college tour here. 
“It’s not that,” Jihoon chuckles awkwardly. “I have other assignments I have to practice for, but I’m sure there will be someone else to help you. There’s a lot of talented students her—”
“But they’re not the best,” you interrupt. What else can you offer him that will make him say yes?
“Well, being the best is subjective,” Jihoon counters, voice light so you know he doesn’t mean it rudely.
You open your mouth to bargain with him more, but his friend leans into his ear. The noise from the other instruments behind you makes it hard to hear what they are saying.
Patience is something you rarely have. The longer you stand there waiting, the more annoyed you get.
“Look, you have almost a full semester to get a song done by then. I’m sure you can find some tim—”
“Fine,” Jihoon grumbles as he shoves his friend away. “I’ll do it.”
“Oh,” you pause. You are fully prepared to go down the mental list of how helping you will help him in return. One that will be complete bullshit, but if it gets him to say yes, then so be it. Luckily, you don’t have to. 
“Great!” you say.
You aren’t going to give him time to back out, so you quickly retrieve a business card you had made from your purse. It’s easier to exchange contact information, and you never know when you may run into someone important. Being in an artistic field means competition. You always need to have an eye out for something, or someone, that will help you get your name out there.
“Here’s my number. Please contact me before the day ends.”
Jihoon takes the card and examines it. “Got it. What kind of music will you need?”
“I’m not sure yet, but I’ll let you know,” you reply. He nods in response.
“I look forward to hearing your music. I’ll talk to you later then,” you say.
You have half a heart to wish them both luck on their assignment, but part of you is a little petty that Jihoon put you through some trouble. Instead, you give them a wave before turning on your heel.
As you’re leaving, you hear a loud sigh followed by a laugh from behind you. 
“Shut up, Shua,” Jihoon groans before the professor calls everyone’s attention.
Music, check. Now, what’s next?
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As you make your way down the hallway, you stumble across Dae. She is surrounded by two other male students, none of whom you know. You don’t plan to greet her since she seems busy, but the sound of your heels clicking against the tile catches her attention.
“Yn!” she calls out cheerfully.
You halt in your tracks, turning to see her smiling at you. She gestures for you to come over, so you do.
“Hey,” you say to her.
“How’s your project going?” she asks.
“I got someone to help me with music,” you reply, then glance behind her to see the two guys staring at you. Dae follows your gaze and makes a small “oh!”
“Is that all? Do you have anyone for advertising or graphics?” Dae wonders, her voice seemingly excited.
“I don’t,” you answer hesitantly. Her eagerness has you worried.
“Perfect!” she exclaims, then turns to the others. “This is Yejun and Jeonghan. They’re both advertising majors. Yejun agreed to help me with my project, but Jeonghan,” she pauses to address the man. He has blonde hair that goes past his eyes. His soft features are handsome and almost angelic. 
“Jeonghan, would you mind helping my friend with hers? She’s super talented.”
Jeonghan glances at you, but before he can say anything, you ask him, “What are your skills? Do you have some work I could see first?”
Jeonghan looks taken aback. “O-oh, I don’t have a portfolio yet, sorry.”
“Ah, that’s fine,” you say before looking at Dae. “Thanks for trying to help me, but I’ll find someone else.”
Dae’s eyes narrow at you. “Come on, Yn. Jeonghan is really good!”
“Didn’t you just meet him?” you question and try to stop the scoff that threatens to escape.
“Well, yes, but Yejun has been my friend for a while, and I’ve seen his work. Yejun and Jeonghan have worked together as well, and their creations are unique!”
You inhale deeply, eyes roaming from your friend to Jeonghan. He offers you a smile.
“What your friend said,” Jeonghan replies with a small chuckle.
“Trust me on this,” Dae says. “Jeonghan won’t disappoint you.”
You don’t feel at ease agreeing to someone blindly. Dae’s definition of “really good” could be different from yours. Although her work is good, you feel your standards are way above hers. You had planned to ask for the best student for each assigned task, so having been offered a random helper with no proof of their credentials is unnerving. 
Granted, you haven’t heard Jihoon’s work, but you were sold on the way the professor spoke about him. Dae, on the other hand, is not a professor and could be biased as Yejun is her friend. Though, you still have a lot more positions to fill, and you need to do so soon.
Sighing, “Fine. You can work with me.”
From the way you word your sentence, it’s almost as if Jeonghan is supposed to jump up and down with glee. He doesn’t.
You grab another business card from your purse and hand it to Jeonghan. He takes it slowly.
“Just so you know, I have the right to replace you with someone else if I see your work isn’t fit,” you warn as Jeonghan slips the card into his pocket.
His eyes lock on yours. “That won’t be necessary,” he answers, not bothered by your comment.
“Oh?” you wonder and quirk an eyebrow up.
“Hm. You also need graphics, right? I have a person for that as well,” Jeonghan says.
“I haven’t seen their work yet—”
“You’re not very trusting, huh?” Jeonghan observes with a laugh. You shift your weight on one hip, not liking the way he is trying to tell you about your personality when he doesn't know you.
“I just know what I want, and I won’t settle,” you answer sharply.
Dae huffs next to you and gives you a gentle shove, indicating you to ease up. That isn’t going to happen.
Jeonghan doesn’t reply and instead takes out his phone. His fingers dance around the screen for a minute before he turns the device for you to see. On the screen is an Instagram account with various posts of different art and graphic pieces. Your eyes drift to the username. by_xuminghao_o. His art is impressive and definitely not an amateur like you half expected.
“So, about not settling,” Jeonghan trails off, a hint of a cocky smirk on his lips.
“I expect you both to contact me before the day ends,” is all you respond with.
Jeonghan pockets his phone and nods. He seems content with your answer even though you don’t confess the art meets your standards.
“All good then?” Dae asks, glancing between you two.
“We’re good,” Jeonghan replies and gives you another smile of his—one you are starting to hate seeing. There is just something about it that seems like he knows more things than you in a cocky, condescending way.
Yejun glances at his watch and then nudges Jeonghan.
“Thanks, ladies, but we have a class to attend. Nice to meet you, Yn,” Yejun says.
You hum in response while turning away from them. Dae says her goodbyes, watching as they leave before putting her focus on you.
“Do you have to be so picky?” she sighs.
“As I said, I know what I want. I’ve waited to do this project for years. It has to be perfect,” you explain and pull out your iPad. You check off music and advertising from your to-do list. Graphics aren’t listed, but you figure it will be a nice addition.
“I understand, but—”
“Just focus on your project, and I’ll focus on mine, okay?” you interrupt. You don’t feel like hearing her lecture you for a second time today.
“Alright,” Dae answers. “I’ll see you around,” she says, walking away before you can say anything else.
With her back turned, you roll your eyes at her attitude. It has your mood lowering, and you conclude you’re done with human interaction for now. You carefully place your iPad back in your bag, then make a beeline to the parking lot, ready to go home to figure out a theme for your show.
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Home is somewhere you don’t enjoy being.
It always has this melancholy cloud looming over you. You can never seem to get rid of it completely. Even on the good days, it lingers in the corner of the room, always threatening to float above you. You doubt it will ever dissipate.
Your back is against the headboard of your bed, your iPad resting against your legs that are pulled to your chest. The music playing is too low for your liking, but you know if it’s any louder, your father will scold you for the high volume. Sometimes you will raise it just to get him to talk to you. Though today is not one of those days. You want to be left alone for once, which isn't usually too hard to do unless your sister needs attention. Like now.
“Today is the last day. Pleaseeee, Yn!” your sister whines at the foot of your bed. Her small body is bouncing with desperation and eagerness.
Reluctantly, you flicker your gaze up at her. The slight scowl on your face doesn’t seem to faze her… Probably because she’s seen it so much.
“Can’t you see I’m busy?” you exasperate, gesturing to your iPad.
Seoah frowns. “When are you not? Come on! It’ll take, like, ten minutes. I’ve been looking forward to getting a Fallin’ Flower frap for months! You know it’s a seasonal drink.”
“Didn’t Dad say you couldn’t have any more sweets?” you say and peer down at your iPad again. You’re in the middle of brainstorming themes for your show. There are various words within bubbles, each connected with a line.
“I’ll just get a small,” she explains. When you don’t move, she walks around the bed to stand next to you. Her voice becomes softer, sadder. “You said you would take me. Dad can’t.”
“That was before I got assigned this project. It’s my—”
“Senior project that you’ve been looking forward to since your freshman year, yeah, I got it,” she responds, reciting what you’ve told her before.
You finally look at her once more. “I’ll take you for the next seasonal drinks, okay? They’re probably better anyway.”
“But I really want a Fallin’ Flower,” Seoah pouts.
“Next year,” you offer and return your attention to your homework.
“Yn—”
“Next year,” you repeat firmly without looking up.
Seoah pauses in her begging. You think she’s going to continue, but you hear the soft padding of her feet as she moves.
“Oh, Seoah?” you call out, glancing up.
She pauses by your door and looks up with some hope in her eyes.
“Don’t forget to shut the door all the way.”
“Right,” she mutters slowly, then leaves the room. You wait until you hear the door click close prior to getting back to work.
You sit on your bed the remainder of the day, only getting up to cook dinner for your father and sister. Your eyes feel strained and your body weak, but the sooner you pick a theme, the sooner you can get started. 
It’s days like these when your body is mentally and physically exhausted, that you miss your mom. You try not to think too much about her as it only makes the gloomy cloud above your head darker. 
Is she happier? Surely, she is. She is living her dream as a traveling journalist. Sometimes you will see her adventures if you peep at her social media. It’s self-torture to do so, but curiosity gets the best of you. You hope one day you’ll have the willpower to block all her accounts. 
At this point, you’re having the same conversation you have with yourself once a month. It never ends the way you want.
Inhaling deeply, you finish plating all the food before calling your family for dinner. While your father eats in his office, needing to continue his work, you and your sister eat in silence in the dining room.
Maybe one day things will change, but for now, you’ll have to settle with this.
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You are about to knock on the door a second time when no one answers it. You have allotted only an hour for this meeting, so the longer you wait outside, the more you grow impatient. You have set mini-deadlines throughout the semester to ensure you will complete this assignment in a timely manner. You just hope your recruitees aren't going to slow you down.
Suddenly, the door is yanked open. Jeonghan stands on the other side, hair a little damp and a few wet spots on his shirt.
“Sorry about that,” he says hastily. “I thought I could shower quicker.”
“I told you eleven o’clock,” you scold. Jeonghan simply smiles.
“Never hurts to give people some wiggle room. Plus, aren’t you the early one?” Jeonghan leans back to view something. He looks at you after a few seconds. “It’s only three minutes past.”
“Early is on time,” you say as if that is an obvious life choice. Although you’re never really on time for classes, you reason that to be because the first fifteen minutes are a waste of time. This, on the other hand, is not. “Invite me in?”
Jeonghan moves aside and lets you enter. His apartment is tidy for the most part. It seems as if he had started to clean up but gave up toward the end.
“Where’s Minghao?” you wonder when you saw you were the only one here. He’s supposed to be here with Jeonghan, so you can all go over the advertising designs.
“He called and said he hit some traffic. Have a seat anywhere; I’m going to grab my laptop,” he instructs before jogging to another room. Shaking your head in disappointment, you glance around again.
Spotting his couch, you walk over and make yourself comfortable. You take out your iPad and open what you have so far—color ideas, font ideas, and a few mock-up fashion designs. It has been two weeks since you last saw Jeonghan. The majority of your tasks have already been assigned to people, but you still have to find a few more models.
“Alright, so, what’s the theme?” Jeonghan asks when he comes back. He sits down next to you, causing you to bounce slightly from his weight.
You angle your screen, so he can see it easier. “I decided on the four elements—water, ice, air, and earth. The title right now is Pinwheel.”
“This gives us multiple color options,” Jeonghan examines. “Maybe we could have five designs. One for each element and then one with all of them? That would give you a variety of exposure and make the audience feel they’re not looking at the same promo material every time.”
You sit still as you ponder his suggestion. “You don’t think people will get confused seeing different designs?”
“We can make it all tie in some way. You have your own logo, as I saw on your card. We can use that and the same fonts.”
“Okay,” you say slowly. “That sounds—”
A knock on the door stops you.
“Ah, that must be Minghao. Do you mind getting that? I’m going to get my notepad, so I can try to sketch some layouts.”
You nod, setting your iPad down next to his laptop, then walking to the entrance.
“You’re late,” you groan while you pull open the door.
“Oh? Am I?” the person says with a little playful smile on his lips.
Although you’ve never met Minghao, you have seen pictures of him on his Instagram. You expected to see a head of blue hair, but you are greeted with black. Instead of a narrow face, his is slightly wider. He wears an oversized white shirt, jeans, and a colorful necklace. He looks like every other college student. Sure, he’s more handsome than the average, but not by much. Behind him are two women and one man.
“Can I help you?” you exhale a disheartened sigh when you conclude it isn’t Minghao. Meaning, he’s even later than you wished for.
The guy chuckles. “I doubt it, but Jeonghan can. Is he here?”
His voice is slightly deep. You may have found him soothing to listen to if it wasn't for his irksome words.
“He’s busy right now. You can come back in an hour, though,” you instruct and start to close the door. You don’t need any distractions.
The man sticks his foot out to stop you, causing you to exhale annoyed when you can’t get rid of him. You open the door slightly again.
“Just tell him I’m here,” he says, his teasing tone not so visible anymore but still light enough to not sound too rude.
“And who are you?” you question apathetically.
“Jesus,” someone hisses behind him before shouting, “Jeonghan, come here!”
Your eyes gaze past the man to see a woman with short-length dark hair. She eyes you haughtily, hand on the man’s forearm as if she were to push him away. Though she never does. She takes in your attire, and you once again get a look of judgment at your choice of dress. Your white dress paired with a same-colored, opened button down and beaded chain around your hips is apparently not her style.
“What’s going on?” Jeonghan asks behind you. Reluctantly, you move aside so he can see. “Oh, Seungcheol! Right. One second. Come on in. I’ll get those papers for you.”
“Actually, do they need to come in? They’re not staying long,” you say quickly before any of them can move.
“Relax, princess, he’s just being friendly. You know, like when someone is kind, thoughtful, and considerate?” the girl questions as if you’re dumb and makes her way inside despite you standing close to the door. It forces you to move over. 
Her friends follow along. Three of them stand in the living room, while the second guy sits at the kitchen bar before pulling out his phone. You watch them with a fire inside your chest. Not only are Jeonghan and Minghao late, you now have to deal with this obstacle.
Just as you’re shutting the door, you see a glimpse of blue down the hall. Finally.
“You’re late,” you repeat, but to the correct person this time.
“I know, I’m sorry! Oh, are they helping too?” Minghao says, pausing at the entry when he sees the group of people inside.
“No. Get in,” you huff and point a finger in the apartment. Minghao enters without a fight.
“Hao!” the second girl exclaims with a smile.
Great. Do they all know each other?
“Hi, Hana,” Minghao greets with a gentle grin.
“What are you doing here?” Hana wonders.
“I’m helping Yn with her project,” he answers and gestures to you while you shut the door.
Hana looks your way, and you can see the distaste in her expression; however, she doesn’t say anything.
Jeonghan walks out of his room with a folder in his hand. “I hope this is what you need,” he tells the first man—Seungcheol, you presume.
Seungcheol smiles and takes it from him. He flips open the folder, doing a quick glance through the papers inside.
“Looks great,” he says. “Thanks for getting these for me.”
“Of course,” Jeonghan replies.
“Hannie, do you want to come to Shining Diamond with us this weekend?” the first girl asks, tilting her head in a way that appears as if she’s begging for a yes.
“Ah, this weekend?” he hesitates. “I have a test on Monday I was going to study for.”
“A few hours won’t hurt you,” she replies.
“Alright, Hajun, but only for an hour or so,” Jeonghan says with a not-so-stern voice.
“Great! Minghao, do you want to come, too?” Hajun asks.
Minghao shrugs. “I’ve got nothing else, so sure.”
Hajun grins widely. Her eyes go past Minghao to see you standing in the corner, your arms crossed and eyes staring daggers at everyone.
She doesn’t say anything, but her look tells you you aren’t invited. As if you are silently begging to join. The thought makes you scoff quietly.
“Cool. You all scheduled your weekends,” you start and walk back to the couch. You turn briefly to Seungcheol, who is eyeing you already. “And you got your things. Can we please continue?”
Your gaze shifts to Jeonghan at your question. He offers you an apologetic look before nodding.
“I’ll see you all this weekend. You can text me the time,” he says while walking to the door.
“We can decide that now,” Hana suggests.
“Or over text like Jeonghan said,” you interject. She narrows her eyes at you.
“Be patient. It’ll only take a few minutes,” she replies.
A few minutes, my ass.
“I’d rather you use those minutes to walk out the door.” You give her a faux smile.
“Have some respect,” Hajun scolds.
You laugh though you don’t find any of this humorous. “What a hypocrite. How about you respect people’s times?”
“I did tell Yn I’d help her,” Jeonghan cuts in sheepishly and opens the door to hint at them to leave. “I’ll text you all later, or you guys can come back in a bit.”
Seungcheol’s gaze lingers on yours as he walks toward the door. Your eyes catch on his as he makes his way into your line of sight. His stare has an unsettling feeling form in your stomach, and you contemplate asking what his problem is. Before you can, he turns to Jeonghan.
“Thanks again,” he says as he lifts the folder.
“No problem. Talk to you later,” Jeonghan replies.
All his friends have filed out except for the one male who hasn’t said a word. He glances at you. You expect to receive another jab about who knows what. Instead, he gestures at your body.
“Nice chains,” he compliments with a smile.
Your eyes widen slightly as you glance down briefly at your outfit. That was certainly unexpected. “Uh, thanks.”
“Come on, Vernon!” Hana yells from the doorway. Vernon gives you a thumbs up, which is uncanny given the situation, then follows his friends out the door.
Once they leave, you narrow your gaze at Jeonghan and Minghao. They’re quick to apologize again and start asking questions about your project before you can lecture them. Lucky for them, your hour is almost up, so there isn't enough time to do that anyway.
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Weeks go by with you working nonstop on your project. Annoyingly, you also realize that the majority of the people you recruited to help all know each other. It usually isn’t something to be irritated by, but each time they run into each other, they usually end up making small talk that you have to break up. They can do that on their time, not yours. Even more frustrating is that this so-called Seungcheol and his groupies know them all as well. Their reactions to seeing you are always the same—ones of displeasure. Though the feeling is mutual.
You learn they are all business majors, except for Vernon. Well, he was a business major, but he plans to switch to something else. You can’t blame him. If all the business majors act revolting, you would leave that department as well.
Seungcheol… He isn’t as bad. 
You have only ever hung out with him by himself for less than five minutes. Those conversations spur when you’re both left alone after one of your “mutual friends,” because none of these people are your actual friends, abandon you both. The conversations are awkward and never hold any weight. He doesn’t throw snide remarks at you, but his presence still makes you uneasy with the possibility. You’re normally the first to leave because of that. Maybe if he didn’t have those obnoxious friends, you could tolerate him more. You can’t help but associate him with them though. You simply want to get away from them, even if that includes him. Not that you are craving his presence anyway. You barely know him and aren’t interested in changing that.
“Those are looking awesome so far!” Dae exclaims when she peers over your shoulder to see your sketches.
You smile at her and set your iPad down on the table. The weather outside is perfect, given the cool breezes in the heat. It eases your mind, and you feel more creative being in a new environment.
“Thanks, how are yours coming along?” you question and wait for her to angle her own iPad to you. On the screen are various designs, each with a hint of purple or blue.
“Those are neat,” you compliment.
“Yeah?” she says and beams at you. “What about this one? I think the shoulder looks a little weird.”
You reach over, using two fingers to zoom in on the screen to examine it.
“Maybe just lower this,” you gesture on the screen, careful as to not move the screen on accident. “You could take this part out too and make it asymmetrical.”
Dae hums, lips pursed in thought. “I’ll try it. I guess I won’t really know until it’s on someone.”
You nod in agreement before focusing on your designs again. After a while, Dae excuses herself from your homework session. She had planned to meet with one of her helpers. You bid her a quick goodbye.
Ten minutes pass when you see someone standing in front of your table, blocking your sunlight. Your eyes rise to see who it is.
“Hi,” Seungcheol greets.
You straighten your posture upon seeing him. He wears a basic navy suit that fits him well. To your surprise, it actually looks decent on him. Your eyes dart around him to see if any of his friends came.
“Just me this time,” he answers the question in your head.
“What is it you need?” you ask blankly.
“Must I need something?” he retorts.
You suppress the eye roll you want to give him. “Well, I’m sure you didn’t come here to tell me about your day.”
“I can if you want,” he responds, then to your utter dread, he sits down across from you. From the position he is sitting at, the breeze is blowing his hair forward and into his face. He raises a hand to push it back, but it’s no use.
“You can spare me. Tell me what you want and go,” you instruct. This is the first time he has approached you—and alone, for that matter. You don’t want to make it a regular thing.
“Always straight to the point,” he chuckles.
“I just don’t like my time being wasted,” you explain.
“So, I’m wasting your time now?” His eyebrow quirks up.
“Should I spell it out for you?” you scoff. It should be obvious that you don’t feel like talking to him.
“You can try, but do you know how to spell it?” he stares at you through the hair on his face. Even though you can’t see him clearly, you can tell he has a challenging gleam in his eyes.
“At this point, I think you just came to bother me,” you sulk.
He smirks at you. “I didn’t, but it is a little fun to see your feathers ruffled.”
“They’re perfectly content being unruffled.”
Seungcheol chuckles at your response. He pushes his hair back, but this time he rests his hand against his head, keeping his hair in place. His elbow is propped on the table while his other arm lays flat on the surface. 
All the times you have seen him, his hair has covered part of his forehead. Now, it’s all exposed, and you feel you can see him. Maybe it’s because he’s donning a suit for once, but he looks almost… handsome like this—dressed formally with a small glint in his eyes and his lips spread in a gentle smile.
“Where’s the fun in that?” he replies. “I think you need to have more fun.”
Well, he was handsome until he opened his mouth.
“I don’t need a stranger telling me how to live my life,” you say.
“A stranger? I would think we’re at least acquaintances,” he frowns.
“You only see me because your friends are helping me. Speaking of, is that why you’re here? Does it have anything to do with one of them?”
Seungcheol bites his bottom lip, and you can’t stop your eyes from lowering to his mouth.
“Maybe,” he answers slowly. Your eyes snap back to his when he speaks. He gives you a knowing smile that has you shifting in your seat. You had only looked at his lips because he brought attention to them. Nothing more.
“Are we playing twenty questions?” you groan, finally unleashing the eye roll you have been trying not to do.
“We can,” Seungcheol says with a shrug. “You asked three already—more if you start from the time I sat down.”
Exhaling a deep breath, you put your forehead on the hand that’s propped on the table. The conversation is slowly draining your energy. The need to be alone becomes stronger with each second.
“Seungcheol,” you warn. You are not about to play a guessing game with this man. “Please.”
“Oh, so that word is in your vocabulary.”
“Yes. Would you like me to use it in a sentence?” you question, pitch raised as if you’re talking to a toddler. You lift your head to glare at him.
“Sure,” he smirks and leans forward. He still holds his hair back and this time, you can really see the way he is goading you.
“Please fuck off,” you grin widely. Your head tilts to the side as you push your arms together to act overly cute.
“Please make me,” he counters. The smirk he wears is still plastered on his lips.
“If we weren’t in public, I would,” you say, voice returning to normal as you relax your body—the cute act over.
“Oh? How?” he chuckles. From the way he looks at you, you know his mind has gone elsewhere.
You push at the arm that is stretched across the table. “Because I would rather not get caught for murder, you pervert.”
Seungcheol laughs and sits back, letting his hair fall back into his eyes. It’s the first time you notice he has dimples. Your first impression is that they are cute, but you quickly recall who they belonged to and shove that thought from your mind.
“Seokmin wanted to let you know he lost your card,” he finally discloses. “Asked if you could give him another.”
“If he lost a simple card, is he really reliable?” you sigh as you grab another from your purse.
“The good news is those stage lights are so big, he won’t be able to lose those,” he says, taking the card from your hand.
“Thankfully,” you mutter. “I hope you’re better than Seokmin at not losing things.”
“I’ll get this to him, don’t worry,” he replies and puts the card in his suit jacket. You want to ask why he is wearing that, but that will mean you will prolong this conversation. Fortunately for you, he starts to stand up before you succumb to the temptation.
“Thanks for the talk,” he says as if you had a choice. “I’ll see you around.”
You would have doubted that, but you know that won’t be true.
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The second time Seungcheol approaches you by himself is a few days later when he catches you exiting a building he is approaching.
“Don’t tell me someone else lost my card as well,” you say after he calls your name. You readjust your bag on your shoulder as you wait for his response.
“About that,” he starts sheepishly.
You put your weight on one hip and cross your arms, and set your mouth in a straight line. You wait for him to tell you who is the perpetrator.
“I may have left your card in my suit jacket when I washed it.”
Well, that explains why you haven’t received a message from Seokmin yet.
“Seriously, Seungcheol?” you exasperate.
“I didn’t do it on purpose!” he says, lips pouting and eyebrows angled.
Shaking your head, you retrieve another card. You make a mental note to restock later as you are running out.
Seungcheol reaches out to grab it from you, but you quickly pull back.
“Put this in your bag,” you instruct. 
You slowly give him the card and watch as he slings his bag around to his front. He makes a show of unzipping one of the front pockets and sliding it inside.
“Done,” he says, acting like he should be rewarded for doing as he was told.
“Good. Is that all?” you wonder. You’ve just finished your last class of the day, and all you want to do is climb into bed.
“Yes.”
Seeing no need to continue the conversation, you start walking in the direction of the parking lot.
“Great. Bye, Seungcheol,” you say over your shoulder.
“Hey, wait,” he says quickly, walking briskly to be by your side. “We’re going in the same direction.”
You peer up at him momentarily. “That doesn’t mean we have to walk together.”
“You said before we’re strangers. This would help us not be that anymore,” he shrugs casually.
“I never said I wanted that,” you reply flatly.
“It might benefit us since we’ll have to see each other a lot.”
“Is that so?” you sigh sadly.
Seungcheol smiles at you before shoving his hands in his pockets. “You did ask my friends to help you.”
“Well, if I knew you were a package deal, I wouldn’t have.”
“Come on. I’m not that bad.”
Sighing, you slow your steps to look at him better. He stops next to you, awaiting your response. His gaze is hopeful, but you’re not sure why.
“I’ll agree if you leave me alone,” you finally say.
Seungcheol’s lips dip in a frown. “I’ll get you to admit it one day.”
He starts to walk again before you can reply. Now is your chance to let him get a few feet from you. You have the opportunity to finally end this conversation you’ve been dreading. Though, for some strange reason, your feet quickly move on their own accord.
Seungcheol’s steps are small, and you catch up with him easily. Neither of you says a word, but you can see a hint of a smile on his lips.
Instead of parting ways once you reach the parking lot, he follows you to your car. Something about it being dangerous for you to walk to it alone, even though it’s light out.
“Yn?” he says to catch your attention when you open your door. You turn and give a small “hm?” in response.
“My friends and I plan to go to this poetry lounge in two weeks. Would you want to come?” he asks. You aren’t sure why he appears to be anxious.
The shock you feel must be evident on your face because Seungcheol’s apprehensive expression relaxes into a gentle smile.
“Business friends or our ‘mutual ones’?” The idea doesn't sound so bad if you are hanging out with the people who are helping you. Although you have your issues with them, they aren’t that bad to be around if you’re being honest.
“Business.”
That’s not what you want to hear.
“Do your friends know you’re asking me this?”
Seungcheol shakes his head. “No, but I don’t need their permission. What do you say?”
You can’t recall being invited to a night out with someone other than Dae. If you were to go out without Dae, it would be with your family or for a class assignment. To be invited to a place by Seungcheol, out of all people, catches you off guard.
Despite having an opportunity for a different change of pace, you answer, “No.”
“No?” he asks, perplexed.
“Your friends don’t like me, Seungcheol,” you explain matter-of-factly through a sigh, leaning against your open door.
“They just like to tease you. I’ll talk to them before,” he explains. 
Tease is a funny way to describe it, you think.
“I don’t need you fighting my battles,” you answer, referring to the latter part of his reply.
“Still. I want you to enjoy yourself. You’ve probably been glued to that project of yours. Step away for a bit,” he reasons.
He isn’t wrong. Your focus has solely been on the project. Of course, you have other classes, but you aren’t putting as much effort into them as you are this one.
“I’ll pick you up and pay for any expenses,” he offers. The more he talks, the more taken aback you are. You figured he’d drop the offer once you rejected him. From every interaction you’ve had with these “friends,” it never ends well. You doubt this will be any different. Regardless, something in you feels a little… honored he is so adamant about getting you to come.
Thus, hesitantly, “Fine.”
Seungcheol’s face breaks out in a grin. “Okay. I can give you my number, so you can text me your address.”
He starts to pull out his phone, but you stop him.
“No need,” you say. At Seungcheol’s confused expression, you continued with a faint smile, “You have my card.”
His mouth opens briefly in realization before the corners are pulled up.
“One step ahead, I see,” he teases, pulling it out to inspect it as if confirming your number is there. You suppose he may think you’re lying to get out of going.
“I’ll text you then,” he concludes and places the card back.
“Alright,” you say, shifting your weight. You aren’t sure if he wants to say anything else. Why are you giving him the time to? You have already given him enough of it.
Sensing your readiness to leave, he waves as he slowly takes steps backward. “Drive safely, Yn.”
“You too, Seungcheol.”
You climb into your car’s seat, turn on the engine, and watch as he makes his way through the maze of cars until he is out of sight.
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That Friday comes sooner than you would’ve liked.
Throughout the times you had met with your “friends,” you had bumped into Seungcheol one-third of the time. Sometimes, you were left alone with him again. Each interaction you had with him became easier the more you talked to him. 
Dare you to admit; his presence wasn’t actually teeth-gritting anymore? At least when he was alone, you didn’t have to deal with his business friends. Despite him not usually laughing at their jokes, he never really stepped in to stop them teasing you at first. Maybe only a few times when he felt things got too heated. He wasn’t your best friend, but part of you did hope he would’ve said something. 
Each time he didn’t, you felt your disappointment rise. He apologized on their behalf constantly, but his apology meant nothing when they kept insulting you. However, lately, he has been stepping in sooner. Although you didn’t want him fighting your battles initially, some things you couldn’t do alone. One thing you and his business friends had in common was that no one really knew where the sudden change of attitude came from. For once, you didn’t complain, though.
You’re tempted to cancel this outing, but talking to Seungcheol a few days ago made you realize he was a little more excited than he was letting on. The reason is unknown to you—maybe he really likes poetry lounges—but you’d feel slightly guilty if you ditch last minute.
It’s not like you haven’t been out on a Friday night with people, yet your heart is beating rapidly in your chest. You have changed about six times, exchanging your accessories with each outfit. Normally, you would dress up more, but these aren’t your friends you’re about to hang out with. They are Seungcheol’s—business majors who think skirts more than two inches above the knees mean you’re a slut. Though, you can’t figure out why that matters. You never dress with the thoughts of others. If you want to wear something that day, even if it’s “over-the-top” for some, you wear it. So, why are you in such a fashion dilemma now?
In the end, you settle for a simple, spaghetti-strapped red dress that is slightly bunched on the sides with strings that are tied in bows. You pair it with a small, heart-shaped purse and white heels. There isn’t any bling in your outfit, which is unusual for you. The accessories you wear are minimal and small. They are a matching cherry set you were gifted by your mother on your 12th birthday. Although it’s been years since you received them, they’re still wearable and delicate enough not to call much attention—unlike some of your other accessories. 
You reach for a white fur jacket only to stop when your fingers graze it. Your eyes travel to yourself in the mirror as you debate on wearing it. The jacket will be too much, you conclude.
The buzzing of your phone catches your attention. It’s Seungcheol telling you he’s five minutes away. After stuffing your phone in your purse, you quickly apply red lipstick and toss it in your purse for later touch-ups.
When your phone buzzes again, you hurry to your front door. Your family is home, and you don’t want Seungcheol to meet them. Life at home isn’t ideal, and the only person who has a hint of what is going on is Dae. You doubt Seungcheol will find that out from one quick meeting, but you don’t want to risk it.
You throw your door open, ready to meet him at his car. Instead, he stands in front of you with a hand raised. He takes a step back in surprise. His eyes glide down your body quickly, but you’re too concerned about your family coming to notice.
“Oh, hey,” he greets. “I was just about to knock.”
Before any of your family can intervene, you close the door and start your way down the porch steps. Seungcheol follows you.
“You didn’t have to. I can make my way to your car by myself,” you answer. Although you’ve never been in his car before, you’ve seen it around. Plus, it’s the only unknown vehicle near your home.
You stand next to the passenger door and wait for him to unlock it, arms wrapped around your body when the chilly weather hits you.
“You sure you don’t want a jacket?” he asks when he notices you didn’t bring one.
“It didn’t go with my outfit,” you explain. It’s a lie. The coat did go with your fit, but you didn’t feel like disclosing the fashion crisis you had gone through.
Seungcheol chuckles. “So, you’re going to freeze instead?”
“It’s not that cold,” you lie again.
“It’ll get colder later, though,” he explains and comes closer to you. You step aside when he is a few inches from you. You press your arms tighter around you, eyes averting from his because of his close proximity. The small distance has you wanting to squirm away, but your feet can’t move. He peers at you with a small smile while he reaches behind you.
“My lady,” he murmurs when he pulls the door open and gestures for you to get inside.
“How chivalrous,” you reply after you force your nervousness away. You carefully slide inside his car, situating yourself comfortably in the seat.
Seungcheol waits to ensure you have all your limbs inside before shutting the door. As he walks around to the other side, your eyes scan his car. The seats are leather, and the interior has higher tech than you thought it would. It is a nice car—not overly luxurious, but enough to show it isn’t cheap. It makes you wonder how much it costs.
“You warm enough?” Seungcheol questions after he gets in and buckles.
“Yeah,” you reply quietly, hands resting awkwardly in your lap. The heat from the vents aids in your goosebumps disappearing.
Your mind is already wondering what to expect tonight. You know his friends aren’t fond of you. At least most of them. That guy, Vernon, seems nice enough. He is the quiet one in the group; however, you did notice he has his own quirks that make him unique. You foresee yourself hanging out with him most tonight. But even then, you don’t feel too great about going.
The longer you sit in Seungcheol’s car, the more you regret agreeing to this.
He stares at you for a moment; brows knitted together slightly. You feel uncanny acting so meek, and Seungcheol can't help but notice.
Silence consumes the small area for a few seconds until Seungcheol says, “Seatbelt.”
You look at him confused, then realize he is talking to you. Of course he is, who else?
“Right,” you mumble, quickly pulling the belt over your body.
“You don’t have to come, you know?” he says with one hand on the steering wheel while the other is on the gear stick.
You sigh and gesture to the road ahead. “Let’s just get going. I’ve got stuff to do after.”
It isn’t completely a lie. You still have to work on bringing your designs to life for the show, but it isn’t like you are behind schedule that you need to do that tonight. You just know you might actually back out if you ponder on leaving more.
Seungcheol bites his bottom lip, averting his focus to the road. He doesn’t reply and obliges to your request by shifting the car into drive.
During the ride, your gaze drifts to Seungcheol. He is relaxed in his seat. One arm stretches to hold the wheel while his other rests on his thigh. One which is clad in a pair of light-washed jeans with a black belt between the jean loops. He wears a white shirt tucked in and a black jacket.
You peer forward slightly to read what his shirt says. Propriety of Balenciaga? The Balenciaga? You don’t think he’s wealthy enough to afford one of those shirts. Perhaps it was a gift or a knock-off brand? Maybe he thrifted it… Though, Seungcheol doesn’t seem like the thrifting type.
“Do you need this?” he asks, breaking you out of your thoughts. He’s holding his jacket open to show you what he means. You must’ve been staring too much.
“No, I’m okay,” you say and turn your attention away quickly. “I just didn’t realize you wore glasses.”
Although the comment is true, you need something to say before he questions why you truly are staring at him. You had noticed the spectacles earlier but didn’t feel like mentioning them.
Seungcheol laughs lightly, “Actually, I don’t. I just thought I’d try to improve my fashion. What do you say, did it work?”
He glances at you after stopping at a traffic light; his mouth quirks up in a teasing smile. You turn toward him and scan his face quickly. They do look good on him, but you aren’t going to tell him that.
“They certainly did something, but whether that effect is good or bad is a secret,” you reply, looking away again.
“I’ll take that as you not wanting to admit they look nice on me,” Seungcheol says and continues driving at the green light.
“I think they’d look better on someone else,” you answer. Though, you don’t believe what you said. Something about the glasses on him has you wanting to stare at him more. They fit his face well and make him appear more attractive. You don’t want to sit on that thought for much longer.
“Is that so? Here,” he says, pulling them off his face. The glasses come into your view, and you stare at him, puzzled. 
When you don’t take them, he adds, “They won’t bite.”
You roll your eyes at his comment and finally grab them from his grasp. You pull down his sun visor to look at yourself. After sliding on the spectacles, you turn your head from side to side to see the different angles.
“I think I was right. They do look better on someone else,” you tease and face him as you shut the visor. Seungcheol turns to you at your reply.
His eyes wander across your face, a hint of a smile appearing on his lips.
“Maybe I’ll have to agree with you this one time,” he says. His stare lingers on yours so much that it has you shifting in your seat. When you avert your gaze, your eyes widen.
“Cheol!” you shout as he was about to rear-end another car. Instinctively, he shoots an arm out across your chest that has your back pressing firmly against the seat. The sudden act causes you to reach up and grab onto his arm tightly.
The car screeches as it comes to a sudden halt. Luckily in time to not hit the other car.
You both sit still, breathing intensified at the near accident. After a few seconds, Seungcheol retracts his arm. It’s then you realize you’re still holding onto him. Your eyes dart to his forearm and frown when you see small crescent shapes indented in his skin.
“Sorry,” you say sheepishly.
Seungcheol’s focus is ahead of him but glances at you in confusion at your apology. “What?”
You quickly gesture to his forearm. When he sees the marks, he rubs a hand over them absentmindedly. “It’s fine. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Are you?” you reply, heart rate slowing down to normal.
“I’m alright. Sorry. I guess I shouldn’t make you play dress up in the car.”
“No, it was my fault.”
Seungcheol eases on the gas pedal when the light turns green, keeping a safe distance from the car in front. He remains quiet for a while to ensure you are both safe.
“Are you sure you’re okay? First, you apologize, and now something is your fault?” he jokes.
You don’t remember what you said a few minutes ago, so it takes a while for you to comprehend what he is saying. “Shut up,” is all you can respond with in the end.
Seungcheol laughs but doesn’t pester you about it any longer.
“Oh, you can take these back,” you say and tug off the reason for almost hitting another car.
“Thanks,” he mumbles as he slides the glasses back on his face.
You nestle yourself back in the seat again and glance out the window. As the buildings pass, it dawns on you that you’ve never called him Cheol. The thought of using a nickname for him has your body tingle with an unknown feeling. It’s strange. You aren’t the first to call him that, but you aren’t that close to him to start using nicknames. Annoyingly, you spend the remainder of the car ride fretting about how he felt toward you shortening his name. 
Did he even notice? If he did, did he like it? Had you crossed a line?
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When he parks, you become acutely aware of everyone’s attire. Many wear jeans or tights with a plain shirt and jacket. A few have on skirts or dresses, but they are more t-shirt dresses or plain skater skirts, if anything. Plus, they are accompanied by tights because of the weather. No one has as much skin showing as you do.
The sinking feeling of not belonging consumes you. You can’t remember the last time you felt this way, and that alone has you questioning yourself even more.
“I’m too dressed for this, aren’t I?” you think out loud.
Seungcheol turns off the car, eyes raking your body again. Though this time, you’re aware of it. You tug down the bottom of your dress at his stare. It’s not like it’s predatory, but it still has your nerves skyrocketing.
“Since when did you care about what others thought of your outfit?” he wonders. The question has you sighing, momentarily closing your eyes as you remind yourself you dress for you, not for others’ approval.
“Right,” you swallow harshly and sling your purse over your shoulder—mentally throwing away the negative thoughts too. “Let’s just go.”
With that, you open his car door and step out.
“Yn wait—” you hear Seungcheol call out right as you shut the door.
Your hair is immediately pushed from your face as the wind blows past. It makes your body shiver, and for a split second, you wish you took up Seungcheol’s offer to grab a jacket when you were at your house.
Seungcheol’s car beeps as it locks before he stands in front of you. His broad body blocks the wind, and you feel your own ease from feeling a tad warmer.
“I’m sorry if that came off rude,” he apologizes softly. “I think you look great.”
You look at him, face void of emotion. You don’t believe him, but you don’t want to argue. At least not standing in this weather. 
“Okay,” you reply. “We need to go meet your friends.”
You take a step forward, thinking it will get him to start walking toward the building, but he doesn’t budge. You only decrease the distance between you two.
“I mean it,” he whispers.
Goosebumps are forming on your exposed skin the longer you stay out. You blame the cold weather for them, but something in your chest tightens at the way Seungcheol is speaking to you.
“I think red is your color,” he pauses. “You should wear it more, Cherry.”
Your head tilts at his last word. “Cherry?”
The corner of his mouth raises at hearing it from your lips. Slowly, he brings a hand to your face. You stand still as you stare at him with wide eyes. His hand brushes past your cheek before he grazes his fingertips along your ear. 
“It suits you,” he murmurs, eyes moving away from yours. 
You follow his gaze and realize he has been looking at your cherry-charmed earrings. His eyes then flicker to the matching cherry-charmed necklace resting below your bare collarbones. You’re not sure if he means the color suits you or if the nickname he just made suits you. Either way, you’re surprised at his words.
Suddenly, the weather doesn't feel as chilly anymore. Your body heats quickly at his comment, or maybe it’s from how close he is to you. Nevertheless, you need to distract yourself from this warm, odd feeling bubbling in your chest.
You clear your throat and step back. His hand lowers steadily.
“I’ll think about it,” you reply more confidently and clearly.
Seungcheol takes the hint and moves aside, hands stuffed in his jeans pockets. He nods his head in the direction of the building, and you start walking toward it. Your pace is slightly faster than his, but you don’t mind not walking next to him. If anything, you need distance from him anyway.
The moment you open the door to the lounge, the heat from inside greets you in full force. You step inside and are welcomed by a worker. He is young, maybe a few years younger than you. He gives you a friendly smile.
“Hi, are you wanting to be seated, or are you with a group already?”
“With a group,” you reply. The worker nods.
“Do you need help locating them?”
You shake your head as the jingle of the door opening sounds behind you. Seungcheol stops behind you. His hand comes to hover over your lower back, not really touching you, but close enough to feel the heat radiate from his hand onto your skin. It has you shuffling away.
“They’re over there,” he says. You peer up to see where he is gesturing. Fair enough, you see his friends at a table toward the back of the building. There are five of them, all smiling at each other. You can spot a few familiar faces—one of them being Vernon. You feel a little at ease knowing he made it here.
“Thanks,” you murmur to the worker before making your way to the table. The closer you get to the table, the slower your steps become. You’re used to keeping your chin high in situations you aren’t completely comfortable in. The whole “fake it until you make it” is on repeat in your head.
Yet the saying is not encouraging you much right now.
“You’re not mad at me, are you?” Seungcheol asks when he catches up to you. You don’t realize you had stopped a few feet from the table.
“No,” you say. You aren’t mad at him; you just need some space from him for now. You don’t like how you aren’t in control of your emotions when you’re around him. “I’m going to freshen up in the bathroom.”
Seungcheol eyes you for a second before nodding. You make your way to the bathroom, but right before you enter, you can hear the welcoming echoes coming from his table of friends. All of them sound cheerful and excited to see him. You don’t expect any of them to look forward to your presence, yet you feel a little disappointed when no one brings up your name—in a positive way.
After using the restroom and washing your hands, you stand in front of the mirror with your hands lingering under the warm water. Your eyes roam your face and body, taking in your appearance. Compared to your normal fashion, you really did dress down. You sigh when you realize you’re circling back to the same issue.
You retract your hands from the faucet and grab a few towels to dry them.
It doesn’t matter if you’re overly dressed. You usually are and don’t care. You look great. You should feel confident in your fit. 
You gently tug the dress down before turning in front of the mirror.
You look fine. You look nice.
As you reapply your lipstick, you keep repeating compliments and reassuring phrases in your head. 
They’re going to look at you funny. You are going to ignore them.
“That’s right,” you sigh to yourself as you toss the lipstick back into your purse. 
Suddenly, your phone starts to vibrate. You pull it out to see Dae’s name appear across the top. You eagerly answer her call.
“Hey babe,” Dae’s voice comes from the other line. “How’s it going?”
“I’m ready to go home,” you say with a small huff.
“Damn, that horrible? Is he treating you badly?” Dae questions. You had told her about Seungcheol’s invitation when you got home that day. She was shocked, but ultimately supportive of you going.
You shake your head despite her not being able to see you. “No, he’s been fine. I just,” you pause. Although you have your ups and downs with Dae, she has stayed with you when no one else has. You don’t disclose your troubles often, wanting people to not see that side of you, but you’re feeling too low that you can’t stop the confession from coming out.
“I’m way overdressed for this place. Everyone’s in jeans or tights. I don’t belong here,” you say.
Dae sighs sadly. “Jeans are boring. I think I only own a pair,” she answers, trying to make you smile. “Just remember, if you were to die right now, would you want your last outfit to be something boring?”
“No,” you answer slowly.
“Exactly. These are people who are used to looking plain. They’re probably jealous you’re outdressing them. Don’t let them get to you, Yn. I’m sure you look beautiful.”
Your shoulders ease at her words. “Thanks, Dae.”
“No need. If they had the talent to dress themselves better, they would.”
You let her words sink in, but the reassurance doesn’t last long.
“I shouldn’t have come,” you say, beginning to pace the small area in the bathroom.
“It’s good for you to be around people from outside our department. It’ll make you more open-minded,” she encourages. “Plus, Seungcheol isn’t as bad as he seemed, huh?”
There is a teasing tone to her voice that you don’t like.
“One outing with him doesn’t mean he’s my friend,” you argue.
Dae giggles. “No, but it’s a start. Do you like him?”
“No!” you answer quickly.
“I was just asking in general. Not ‘like’ as in crushing on him,” she explains nonchalantly, but you can hear her smile.
“He’s,” you pause as you try to think of a word to describe him, “he’s been alright.”
“Well, I better let you get back to him then. I just wanted to check in,” Dae answers.
“Thanks. I appreciate it,” you say.
“Remember, you don’t need their approval. You never have, and you never will. People want the confidence you have.”
“I’m not feeling too confident right now,” you mumble.
“That’s because you’re overthinking. Chin up, okay?”
Sighing, you reply. “Okay.”
“Good. Talk to you later!”
“Yeah,” you say before hanging up.
Taking one last look at yourself, you roll your shoulders back and exit the bathroom.
Seungcheol is sitting in the middle of Hajun and someone you don’t know. His eyes lift to meet yours when he hears the sound of your heels.
“Hey, you okay?” he asks. 
Nodding, your eyes roam for a spot to sit.
“You knew you were just going to a poetry lounge, right? Not the runway,” Hajun comments with a small scoff.
Your eyes move to look at her, and you quirk an eyebrow. She wears leggings with a graphic tee. Her discarded jacket is slung over the back of her chair. “Are you sure you know that, as well? Or did you think you were just going back to your bed?”
“This is how normal people dress,” she replies.
“Relax, Hajun,” a voice you don’t know sounds. You direct your attention to them. 
The guy has black hair that is parted on the side to expose his forehead. His eyes are narrow, and even though he has a soft appearance now, you’re sure his gaze can be fierce when needed. 
“People don’t need to dress up for special occasions,” he says.
You’re taken aback by his comment. Seungcheol’s friends have always questioned your wardrobe, so for this new “friend” to not agree with Hajun is surprising. 
“No, they don’t, but you gotta’ admit she’s a little overdone huh, Soonyoung?” Hajun replies.
“Hajun,” Seungcheol interjects, giving her a pointed look.
“I understand not everyone knows how to dress. It’s okay, though. I can offer my services if you need some help,” you comment, half tempted to reach in your bag to get a business card. Although you aren’t on campus, you never know when you’ll run into someone who will make a good connection, so you keep them with you wherever you go.
“Services?” Hajun laughs and rests her crossed arms on the table. “And what ‘services’ are you offering? Because from the looks of it, I can tell exactly what you offer. Sorry, I’m not interested.”
Her eyes roam your body once more, indicating that the way you are dressed, means your services consist of paying to be with people in bed.
“I don’t think those services would help you anyway. Your rotting attitude is enough to repel anyone. Though I guess some people are willing to lower their standards when they’re desperate,” you counter.
“You’re such a—” she starts.
“Can we talk?” Seungcheol asks Hajun quickly, but he doesn’t give her the option to answer because he takes her hand and pulls her away from the group.
The table is silent for a few seconds before Soonyoung speaks up again.
“Don’t pay any mind to her. It’s nice to meet you. You must be Yn?” He smiles at you, slightly bowing at you.
“Correct,” you say, trying to not show how irritated you feel.
“Come sit,” he offers, pulling up a chair so you’re sat between him and Vernon. You thank him before sitting in the chair. You sit your purse in your lap as conversations begin to spark again.
Their voices become background noise as your gaze drifts to Seungcheol and Hajun in the corner. They stand close to each other and are in a deep conversation—clearly about you. Seungcheol has his back to you, so you can’t see his expression, but you can see Hajun’s. Her lips are in a frown, her expression not as sassy as before. 
Though her pouting seems forced, her bottom lip a little too far stuck out. Soon enough, she rolls her eyes, an expression similar to how it was earlier. Her eyes then move from him to you over his shoulder. When she catches your gaze, she smiles and raises a challenging eyebrow. However, her gaze doesn’t last long because Seungcheol’s hand comes up and guides her eyes back to him. Even though his hand isn’t touching her completely, she leans into his touch. The act has you stilling.
“Yn?” Vernon questions, tearing you from your thoughts. You don’t realize you’re clutching your purse until your focus goes to Vernon. You ease your grip and raise an eyebrow.
“Soonyoung was asking what your major was,” Vernon explains.
“Oh,” you say, glancing around the table. It appears the others are in their own conversation.
You look at the man to your left. He gives you a reassuring smile that tells you he is patient. “I’m studying fashion design. Are you in business, too?”
Soonyoung shakes his head with a laugh. “I could never. I’m a dance major.”
“Wow, that sounds nice,” you say. “Aren’t your career choices limited with that, though?”
“A little,” Soonyoung replies honestly. He doesn’t seem offended by the question. Maybe he gets it a lot. “But it makes me happy. I can always teach or maybe even become a dancer in a well-known group.”
You hum, understanding his words.
“Isn’t fashion design limited, too?” Vernon asks.
“Clothes are everywhere. I can do a lot with it.”
“But not everyone will wear your clothes,” Hana says, having finally heard your discussion.
“There will always be someone,” you argue, confident in your work. It may be a slow start, but you believe in your designs.
She laughs. “Who? Your mother?”
Your eyes narrow at the mention of your mom, and Hana is quick to notice the change in attitude. Instead of letting go of the topic, she continues.
“Ooh, trouble at home? See? I knew the ‘Great Yn’ isn’t as perfect as she seems,” Hana says. What makes her think you are so “great” is unknown to you, but you aren’t surprised to guess people have made up a persona for you. 
“Stop, Hana,” Vernon says, but it has no effect.
“Oh, so we were right?” Hajun’s voice comes from above. You glance up to see she and Seungcheol have returned. It appears their little chat did nothing to keep Hajun from being a bitch.
“Seems so,” Hana says with a smile. “Care to share with the class what kind of mommy issues you have?”
“No wonder she dresses like that,” Doyun, another one of Seungcheol’s alleged friends, adds. “She’s not getting attention at home. I guess Daddy isn’t there either?”
“That’s enough,” Seungcheol scolds them all.
Your eyes are darting from everyone at the table. Their stares are akin to shrink rays, making you feel tiny and minuscule. You know when you aren’t welcomed, and there’s no reason to stay listening to this. You want to snap back, end the conversation with your own last words, but nothing comes to mind.
In lieu, you push your chair back and stand up. Your hands twitch with the temptation to dump their food all over them, but you just want to get out as soon as possible. 
You waste no time careening for the exit. 
Seungcheol calls your name; you ignore it. The worker from before sees you, telling you goodbye, but you couldn't care less and push past the door before he can finish his sentence.
Your breath gets caught in your throat at the sudden breeze that slams into you. Instantly, your arms wrap around you once more. You glance around and see a bus stop down the street. You don’t care that it’s the other way from Seungcheol’s car. You hurry to the station, not sure when the next bus will come.
The bus stop isn’t deserted despite the cold weather. The area must be busy all the time since the sidewalks are littered with more people than you expect. All the seats at the stop are taken, yet you still shuffle under the shelter in hopes to get away from some of the breeze.
You are shaking, and your teeth are chattering. It’s impossible to force your body to stop since you need to generate heat somehow. You probably look like a pathetic naked chihuahua in winter.
You take out your phone, open up a browser, and search for bus times. Thankfully, there’s one coming in three minutes in the direction you need. The thought of taking the bus is not pleasurable. You hate the idea of your skin touching something so many others have touched. It feels unsanitary.
Accidentally leaning back against the wall while you silently groan has you jumping at the cold material touching your bare skin. Your jolt catches the attention of an older woman who is sitting near you.
“Aren’t you freezing, child?” she asks as she stares at your attire—or lack of. 
“I’ll be fine soon,” you say, not really in the mood for talking.
“Where is your coat? Did you not know the weather was going to be cold?” she continues.
Utterly done with all the people-talk tonight, you hiss, “Focus on yourself. I’ll focus on me.”
She seems startled at your outburst. Her already crossed arms tighten as she turns away from you. Her muttered “bitch” doesn’t go unnoticed, but you don’t say anything about it. There’s no point in arguing with a stranger.
The sound of the bus calls your attention, and you mentally thank the universe for the great timing. After people leave and all the new patrons enter, you finally take a step up the bus’ steps. Before you can climb all the way, you hear your name being called. You look past the bus doors to see Seungcheol running toward you.
Just what you need.
You disregard him and step farther up the steps of the bus.
The bus driver looks expectantly at you, and it dawns on you that you need to provide payment before you can board fully.
“Card?” you wonder. The bus driver nods and gestures to a device to the right.
As you unzip your purse, you feel a hand grip your arm.
“Where are you going?” Seungcheol asks, slightly breathless. His hair is disheveled from running, but he doesn’t seem to care.
“Home, idiot,” you huff and pull your arm out of his grasp so you can retrieve your card.
“Just come with me. We can talk somewhere else,” he pleads, a hand stopping your movements again.
“I’m not going anywhere with you, Seungcheol,” you hiss. “Now, let go of me.”
He hesitates but slowly releases your arm. He doesn’t leave, though. “I’ll take you home. You don’t need to take the bus. Come on.”
“Go with him or get on! We have places to be,” a passenger exclaims, clearly annoyed with your drama.
You raise your head to the person, narrowing your eyes in a glare that tells them to pipe down. It has no effect on them. They shoot a fierce look back.
“I know you don’t want to take the bus,” Seungcheol comments quietly.
He’s right. Not only do you not want to sit next to a lady whose arms are filled with shopping bags—the only available seat—you really don’t want to add time to your trip home.
Seungcheol reaches out again and carefully takes your hand in his. This time, you don’t fight him as he guides you off the bus. Once you’re both off, the bus doors shut and begin its trip down the road.
You watch it silently, not knowing Seungcheol is discarding his jacket until you feel the warm material cover your shoulders. Your eyes snap back to him as if remembering who you’re with.
“I’m sorry they said all that stuff. I told them not to do that tonight,” he says remorsefully.
“Oh, so you’ll let them talk shit about me another day?” you chide and start walking away from him. Thankfully for Seungcheol, it’s in the direction of his car.
“No, that’s not what I meant,” he replies as he hurries to catch up, which doesn’t take much effort as you aren’t walking too fast due to your cold, stiff legs.
“Don’t worry. I’m sure they’ll do that whenever they want to. They wouldn’t be the first,” you scoff.
“It doesn’t make it right regardless,” he says. You halt in your steps, causing Seungcheol to stop and turn to look at you.
“I talk shit about people behind their backs, too. Does that make me a bad person?” you question. Perhaps if he sees you as one he’ll leave you alone.
He exhales a deep breath. “Let’s just get in the car, okay?”
“You can admit it,” you challenge and walk closer to him. “Does talking shit about someone make me a bad person, Seungcheol?”
He stares down at you, soft gaze turning dark with annoyance.
“To the car, Yn,” he demands slowly just in case you won’t understand; his tone is sharp in a way you haven’t heard before. You don’t let that scare you away. Maybe if you weren’t so fired up, you would have been a little intimidated.
You laugh darkly and roll your eyes at his command. “You want me to sit next? Bark, too?”
“Now, you’re just being dramatic.”
Dramatic, he says.
“Woof?” you reply, dramatically giving him the best puppy-dog eyes you can muster.
Seungcheol’s jaw clenches at your response—not pleased with your sarcasm. However, instead of replying in an annoyed tone, he takes a step forward. His head draws closer to your face to ensure your eyes are glued to his.
“Wanna be a good girl and go to the car, Cherry?” he murmurs lowly, an eyebrow quirking up for a second.
His sudden change in tone has you stiffening. You want to bite back—figuratively or literately… you aren’t sure yet—but you can’t even remember what you are mad about in the first place.
“Hm?” he croons when you don't reply quickly.
Rather than a sarcastic reply, you simply grumble, “whatever,” before pushing past him to get to his car.
You stand next to the passenger side like before, waiting for him to unlock it. Seungcheol comes beside you and swiftly unlocks the vehicle. Although you aren’t arguing at the moment, you can sense some irritation lingering from him.
You get the feeling he'll always hold the door open no matter how annoyed he is with you.
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You feel suffocated.
The air in the car is too hot. The weight of his jacket has you overheating. The tension is unbearable.
Seungcheol keeps his eyes on the road, not throwing you a single glance as he drives. Every once in a while he will tighten his hold on the steering wheel. One time you even catch the way his muscles flex at the motion—now exposed from not wearing his jacket. You never realized how fit he is. This isn’t the first time you have seen him sleeveless, but you just never stared long enough to notice. Or if you did, you simply didn’t care. Regardless, you notice now, and you have to force your eyes away before he catches you staring.
You want to ask for music so you don’t have to sit in this insufferable silence, but your mouth feels dry. You decide to just deal with the quietness, shifting in the seat so you’re facing the window more. Your eyes drift close as you let the hum of the car distract you. 
Seungcheol’s jacket is snuggled around you, and his woodsy cologne fills your senses. It’s pleasant, and you don’t mind if you smell more of it in the future.
By the time you arrive home, you are on the verge of sleep. You stumble out of the car and shut the door without saying a word to Seungcheol. You expect him to drive off, but the sound of his tires moving never comes. Instead, you hear his car door opening and closing.
“You don’t have to walk me to the door,” you say while you glance behind you. Seungcheol is following you languidly.
“No, I don’t,” he says and pauses at the bottom of your porch steps. He places a foot on the first step while a hand holds onto the rail. You have your keys out, ready to slide them into the keyhole when you speak.
“Then don’t,” you reply sternly.
He chuckles lowly but doesn’t say anything about it.
“You can go now,” you say when he doesn't move.
“You have something of mine.”
Puzzled, you stare at him for a second. Seungcheol gestures to your body, and you quickly remember you’re wearing his jacket. You tug it off and toss it to him. He grabs it from the air with ease. The loss of heat makes you wish he didn’t say anything.
“Goodnight, Cherry,” he murmurs as soon as you click open your door. You step inside before turning to face him.
The nickname you used earlier forms on your tongue, yet you can’t find the courage to say it consciously.
“Night,” you answer, then shut the door before either of you can say anything else.
With your head bowed, you turn the lock slowly while you exhale deeply. His nickname falls from your lips under your breath—unable to keep the desire at bay.
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previous chapter \\ series masterpost // next chapter
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A/N: Can't believe the first chapter is actually published 😭 I sat and stared at this for a few before hitting "post" because I'm so anxious! dfl;kbjdvs. Please feel free to share your thoughts on it so far!
For my “shy/silent” readers, I’ve created a feedback form where you can share your thoughts on my fics in a more anonymous and private way. ^-^
taglist: @iammisstora, @christinewithluv, @lithelust, @musingsofananxiouspotato, @yoozuku, @lockburn-castle, @mystikhal-blog, @oncloudvii23 (couldn't tag :c), @cheolcherries (tysm!!!)
©️hongcherry // DO NOT REPOST OR MODIFY Please consider reblogging if you liked this work to show your support. Feedback/commentary is always welcomed.
131 notes · View notes
tiffsturniolo · 28 days
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PERIOD
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this was a request and i kinda hate the idea? ngl cringes me out. dont like talking bout periods 💀
warnings: mentions of blood? short asf, absolutely shit
i woke up with the most gut wrenching pain in my stomach ever. i groan as i remember im on my period. i wish i could just sleep for the whole week, until my period is over.
i slowly reach my hand over to my phone which is waiting for me on my bedside table. the brightness of my phone blinds me and i squint my eyes to turn it down. despite how much pain im in from my uterus doing flips, a smile grows on my face when i see a message from my boyfriend, matt.
me and matt have only been dating 2 months, and its been the best 2 months of my life. ive known him and his brothers since high school so it was kind of a big change to suddenly start dating matt even though ive liked him ever since i met him. regardless, i love him so much.
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hes the cutest human being on earth i swear. he always asks if im coming over and usually the answers yes. But i feel like if i get out of bed i might die. literally.
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about 10 minuets later, i hear my front door open, sending a wave of panic through my body. Once i hear my boyfriends voice, i let out a sigh of relief
y/n? he asks as he opens my door slowly, smiling when he sees me
my only response is a groggily groan as i turn my body for the first time today to face him
he places a can of dr pepper and a twix bar on my nightstand and grins at me, almost looking proud that he got me stuff
he clears his throat and examines me for a second. whats wrong?
i look up at him, my face flushing red. weve never really talked about periods. i mean, weve only been dating two months, meaning ive only had 2 since we started dating. periods aren’t embarrassing, i dont know why i dont wanna tell him. and its not like matts a dick, he probably wont care. period. i mumble then swallow.
his eyes widen for a second then he nods. cant relate. he says with smirk and i cant help but grin.
he sits at the foot of my bed and throws his phone on the bed. i wish men got periods as well. he says innocently.
i look at him like he just suggested the most stupid thing. trust me, you dont. i say and laugh to myself.
but then i could know what your going through.
i throw my head back smiling and groan. your so corny
he smiles, rubs his eyes and look at me. how is wanting to understand my girlfriend corny? he says with a smirk. he stands up and climbs into the other side of the bed, laying on his back next to me. he grabs one of my stuffed animals and starts throwing it in the air and catching it.
i use all my upper arm strength to sit upright and grab the twix bar he bought for me. as i sit up, i see a small, red circle on my bed. my face instantly heats up and i feel like im on fire. i look over at matt but it seems that he has already noticed. hes looking at the blood stain with wide eyes. he looks up at me and his shocked expression instantly drops as he sees the panicked look on my face
y/n, its okay it doesnt- ill change your sheets, why dont you take a shower and get yourself cleaned up? he says, standing up and pulling me out of bed.
i cover my face with my hands and groan. i didn’t know that wa- i know it’s disgusting-. i blabber as i walk over to the bathroom.
y/n, i honestly dont care, its normal i know. he says, trying to act chill as he takes off the dirty sheet and puts it in the washing machine.
15 minuets later, i come out the bathroom all fresh, more relaxed than i was earlier cause i got to regather my thoughts in the shower.
i look up and see matt laying on my fresh bed, with a proud grin on his face with my dr pepper and twix bar waiting for me on my side. the lights are turned off and the only source of light is my fairy lights and the tv, which is playing spongebob squarepants.
i smile and hop in my side of the bed, resting my head on matts chest. thanks for not making it a big deal, i love you.
matts cheeks flush and he stares down at me. i love you too.
that was our first “i love you”.
sorry if thats terrible, this is my first time writing anything and i wrote it on the spot without planning it. im also sleep deprived so that doesn’t help
42 notes · View notes
kirausamaria · 11 months
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Stolitz’ Fanfic: Boyfriend’s Therapy Session.
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This is the first fanfic I have even added a fanart to, but I wanted to do something special for reaching 1000 plus followers on Twitter. Thank you so much for your love and support even when I don’t share too much art or fanfics (life’s fault), and I hope I can make you smile a little with this fanfic.
Stolas was expectantly looking at the main entrance of the palace, waiting for his dear Blitzy to arrive. Since they started dating they made a compromise of meeting at least twice a week, and until now Blitzo had kept his promise and arrived at his palace, or Stolas would visit at his place when his work finished a little later than usual. Everything was going smoothly for both of them.
‘Only 10 minutes left’, Stolas said to himself, happily looking at the clock.
10 minutes later, Blitzo opened up the door and entered with lazy legs. As Stolas stood up to receive him with a huge squeezy hug, he stopped when noticing something wasn’t alright.
Blitzo had a very tired face. You could even say he looked gloomy. Who are we kidding, the whole background behind him had a dark gray color.
‘Erm, Blitzy, are you alright?’
      ‘Of course, better than ever! Why would you even ask that?’Blitzo grumbled just clear enough and tugged himself to the living room’s sofa in order to sink his full face on it.
Stolas walked to the sofa as well and sat on the corner, silently staring at the depressed imp for a couple of seconds before opening his mouth:
‘Blitzo, are you sure you’re ok?
‘I mean, I woke up today so I guess my day was good enough’, Blitzo replied with a muffled voice because of the cushions.
‘Would you like to talk to me about it?’
‘Ugh…’
Blitzo lifted his face to see a cute Stolas smiling while gently patting his own lap. How could Blitzo refuse his invitation? He crawled a little forward in order to rest his head on it. He needed some soft head strokes from his fluffy boyfriend in order to gain some strength to talk.
‘Well, actually I had a little argument with Loona this morning at the office’, Blitzo started explaining while looking at the floor. ‘I told her she should be more careful when going out with shady guys with ill intentions because they could hurt her. She just yelled at me telling me she was strong enough to handle things by herself and to back off. I begged her not to be with boys who could be a bad influence and she answered back telling me I was a bad influence myself and she just walked away.’
Stolas didn’t say a thing, he just kept listening at his boyfriend, waiting until he finished letting everything out.
‘I mean, she is not wrong, I did a bunch of things I’m not proud of, and hurted people I cared about…it’s just *sniffles*...I’m trying to do better, I really am, but not sure if it’ll ever be enough for Loona to listen to me, to love me’.
Blitzo just stopped talking and hid his face on Stolas’ robe. Stolas could feel some small and warm teardrops falling on it, and even when he tried to look calm while listening to Blitzo, he could only imagine how he felt as father to be dismissed for things he had done in the past.
‘Oh, my dear Blitzy’, Stolas finally replied while caressing Blitzo’s head, ‘I know sometimes because of fights like that you may feel that your daughter doesn’t appreciates you, but during the times I’ve spent together with you all I was able to see it, little moments that showed me how much she cares and understands you really love her. 
‘Really?, Blitzo asked with a soft whine. ‘Like what moments?’
‘Remember when you got sick and stayed home while I tried to help with the office’s paperwork? I was actually making such a mess *giggles*, not on purpose of course. Loona got angry at me and explained to me how to do things properly so you wouldn’t have to do extra work after you came back. Then after the job was done and I was about to leave and go to your apartment…do you remember that topper full of soup I got for you to eat?’
‘Huh, yeah, you made it for me, right?’
Stolas started scratching the back of his neck. 
‘Well, actually Loona made it’.
‘Sorry, what?’
‘Yeah, Loona prepared it at the office’s cafeteria. She brought a bunch of veggies and cooked it as well as she could. She was too shy to ask Moxxie for help, I guess’. Stolas said with a wide smile staring at Blitzo who had finally lifted his head from his lap.
‘Loona…did she really do that for me?’ 
‘Of course! He was worried for his dad!’, Stolas replied. ‘She made me swear I’d say I made it, but I’m only responsible for bringing you the medication and the horsie plushie’.
‘Loona…my sweet baby…she actually loves me…’ Blitzo started sniffling again while standing up and hugging tight to Stolas’ chest trying to hide his tears.
‘Blitzy, sometimes children say things that are hurtful because of the heat of the moment’, Stolas continued while reciprocating Blitzo’s hug. ‘I’ve been there with Via as well, it’s something that happens. But do not be wrong, everytime you show them worry and caring to them they feel it, they know your love is genuine. I know you have had a rough life path Blitzy, but each one of us can see how hard you’re trying to make things change for the better. You trying so hard to move forward and improve yourself for all of us around you is one of the reasons I fell in love with you’.
Blitzo sobbed quietly for a couple of minutes before he was calm enough to look at Stolas, who patiently waited until he was ready. 
‘Ugh, my bad, I hate to be seen like this, it’s so embarrassing’.
‘Aww, you don’t have to be embarrassed for showing me your crying face at all, Blitzy’, Stolas said with a sweet smile. ‘Your softness is another reason why I love you so much.’
‘I knew you were a f**king sadist’, Blitzo replied with a low voice. His face was blushing a little.
‘Do you feel a little better darling?’
‘Yeah, I guess so. Erm, thank you Stols’, Blitzo said with a shy smile.
‘Always my pleasure my sweet little imp’.
‘Stop calling me those names God damnit!’ Blitzo started giving little punches with his closed fists to Stolas, with a face redder than before.
‘Ahahaha, I’m sorry! You’re so cute I just want to give you all the pet names in the world!’, Stolas said while covering himself laughing.
‘Mmph!’ Blitzo pouted and saw the opposite way. Stolas knew he wasn’t actually angry. Actually he looked much calmer than before their talk. But Stolas was planning to improve his dear boyfriend’s humor a little more. Giving Blitzo a happy look he said:
‘You know what darling? I feel you’re still feeling a little down. Why don’t we work a little on it? You look like you need to relax a little more’, Stolas said, getting closer to Blitzo in a very suspicious way.
‘Stolas, I think I’m good enough to move forward with it so…’. Blitzo suddenly paused and recognized the naughty look Stolas always gave him when ‘that’ was about to happen. ‘Oh no, Stolas, don’t you even think about it…no, I refuse and…Woah!’.
Blitzo didn’t move quickly enough to Stolas grabbing him and cradding him like he was a big cat. He then gave him a little nuzzle and giving happy leaps he reached the bedroom. Then he laid on the bed still holding Blitzo with one arm, long enough to hold on his legs so he couldn’t go away.
‘Stolas, I, I swear to f**ing Satan that if you don’t let me go I…’. Blitzo was stuttering and trying not to show his excitement for what was about to come.
‘Oh, my little Blitzy, no need to be shy. Just enjoy your therapy session of the day, you really need it, don’t you think so?’ Stolas mischievously said.
‘I f**ing don’t, ok? J-ust don’t do it, I…Mmmph!’ Stolas started giving him peppering kisses and smooches all over his face, focusing more on his cheeks because he knew it made Blitzo giggle almost instantaneously. Blitzo tried to make an upset face as long as he could, but it was a lost cause.
‘S-Stolas, no, I’m warning y-you, cuhut it out…no…stop…pfff! Hehehe, nohoho…’
‘Oh, you’re laughing! That’s wonderful, it seems like you’re enjoying my kisses my dear Blitzy!
‘Nohoho, I’m nohohot!’, Blitzo protested between giggles. Not very convincing.
‘Oh, maybe you need a little more affection!’ Stolas then started walking his fingers slowly on Blitzo’s stomach, trying to get a wobbly nervous smile from him, which wasn’t too hard to do. Blitzo was very susceptible to Stolas’ playful teasing.
‘Please, don’t dohoho it…, I will…pfff! Ehehehehe!’.
Stolas wiggled a single finger over Blitzo’s stomach, giving light tickles only. Usually Stolas would tickle Blitzo with all his might to the point of Blitzo falling asleep right away after his play, but on this occasion Stolas just wanted to pamper him and make him feel happy. 
‘Ehehehe, Stohohoolas! Nohohot there, hehehe!’, Blitzo said between giggles and squirms. ‘Not my stomach, hehehe!’
‘But your stomach is so soft , cute and ticklish, I can’t stop tickling it!’, Stolas replied, not using all his hand’s fingers to keep the soft tickles going, making Blitzo laugh and squirm harder.
‘Ahahahaha! Stahahahahap!’
‘I got your belly button!’, Stolas cooed while wiggling one finger inside Blitzo’s belly button, after going under his shirt. It didn’t tickle as much as the rest of his stomach but Blitzo still laughed.
‘You f***heheher, juhuhust wait until I’m freheheheee!’, Blitzo yelled before falling into more laughter. Stolas just laughed at seeing his boyfriend trying to sound menacing with no avail.��
‘Aww Blitzy! You trying to sound menacing under these circumstances is totally adorable! Please do it again!’, Stolas cooed again, while tickling Blitzo’s neck with his fingers this time, making him squirm from one side to another, trying to cover the side of his neck Stolas attacked alternatively .
‘Ahahaha, I hate you sohohoho much!’, Blitzo said without meaning it so much.
‘Oh, is that so? Maybe you don’t feel relaxed enough yet. What if we focus on your favorite spot now?’.
Blitzo knew what spot he meant, but tried to act like he didn’t. ‘Whahahat the f*ck you’re talking about, hahaha!’.
‘Oh, yes you do, my dear Blitzy!’. Stolas began playfully walking his fingers from Blitzo’s stomach to his ribs, poking in some places just to keep his excitement going, Blitzo couldn’t stop giving nervous giggles while Stolas’ fingers were close to reach that feared spot.
When Stolas’ hand reached the upper rib right under his underarm and tickled  there, Blitzo jolted and let out a loud squeal while laughing and squirming like crazy.
‘There it is! There’s that happy spot! Stolas cooed while holding his own laughter. Blitzo’s laughter was Stolas’ serotonin without a doubt. Blitzo weakly tried to protect his side and squirmed on Stolas’ arm, and then let out a squeak when Stolas suddenly changed to tickle his other side.
Blitzo didn’t give any smart ass comeback as he usually did. He’d rather die than admitting that he really loved being tickled there, but the fact that he kept quiet while laughing his a** off meant he was trying to enjoy every single second of his tickle therapy. 
When Stolas vibrated both of his hands while still holding Blitzo on both sides of his ribs, he let out such a loud and happy squeal that his embarrassment grew about 150%.
‘Aww, that was such a cute sound! Please do it again for me!’ Stolas cooed while still teasing his dear mate’s ribs.
‘Youhhhhuuu…ahahaha *hic*! F*ck, hahaha *hic* stahahahap!’
‘Alright, alright, I’ll change places now’, Stolas said, holding Blitzo now over his chest. Then he started quickly poking his back, making him jumpy and squirmy all over again, especially when Stolas poked a very ticklish spot. 
Blitzo could only squirm and laugh, his face hidden on Stolas’ fluffy chest, trying not to show him his face, now red as a tomato. That changed when Stolas dug his fingers on his lower back. Blitzo instinctively arched his back, showing his face and cackling.
‘Ahahaha! Stolahahahas! Nohohot therehehehe!’
‘Why not? You love when I scratch the base of your tail’.
‘But not like thihihhis! Stahahahap!’
‘Alright, I just give you a little more treatment and I’m done’, Stolas said with the sweetest voice he could ever do, making Blitzo afraid about what would be coming next.
Stolas suddenly lifted Blitzo from his low back and let Blitzo’s waist and head hanging from the bed, making his blouse go down to his chest. Because of the force of gravity it was very hard for Blitzo  to lift his arms and protect himself from what Stolas was planning.
Stolas walked his fingers over Blitzo’s stomach at a very slow pace, making him both afraid and excited, making it hard not to start giggling in front of Stolas. First making circles around Blitzo’s belly button, then proceeded to skitter his talons all over Blitzo’s stomach and ribs, making him laugh at an instant.
‘Tktktktktkt!’
‘Nahahahah! Stolahahahahs! You’re the worhohohorst ahahaha!’
‘Oh, really? I thought I was the sweetest boyfriend ever, giving my dear imp boyfriend so much attention!’, Stolas said feigning ignorance. Then he started softly scratching each rib and then giving him soft pinches on them, making Blitzo all giggly and squirmy.
‘You’re so cute, my dear Blitzy! How was I able to get the most handsome, yet the most ticklish imp in the whole hell?’.
Blitzo just stopped fighting all at once, now too lazy to lift his arms and fight against Stolas. His tickles were too light to even care, and at this point Blitzo was having a lot of fun feeling Stolas’ caring touch. Blitzo had given up a long time ago about falling in love, even more getting love from someone, but Stolas was giving him just that right now. Every touch, every caress he received from the owl prince, made him both shudder and melt.
After almost 10 minutes of being upside down laughing and hipcupping,  Stolas lifted Blitzo and gave him a tight hug, giving him a moment to compose himself. Blitzo finally gave a long sight and stared at his boyfriend.
‘God damnit Stolas! You and your silly games!’
‘Did I go a little too far, perhaps?’, Stolas replied, tilting his head and looking too cute for Blitzo to even fake he was angry at him. He just looked away, blushing.
‘As always’, he said. Next time it will be your turn to get a therapy session, and it will be a full 1 hour session!’
‘Oh, really? Do I need an appointment for that?’, Solas replied, a little too enthusiastic about that scenario’.
‘Ugh, I forgot you enjoy anything I do to you’.
‘Wait, you don’t enjoy everything I do to you?’stolas said, faking being offended.
‘Anyways, I’m tired and I just wanna go to bed now. Can we just take a bath and rest?’
‘Of course! Let me take you to the royal bath, your Highness!’, Stolas playfully said while carrying Blitzo to the bathroom as if they were dancing in a ball. Blitzo couldn’t do anything but stare at his charming Prince’s eyes while dancing, hypnotizing him.
‘Mom, look at the new trick I learnt today!’ A little Blitzo yelled while approaching his mom with a giant circus ball. His mom just stopped what she was doing and sat looking honestly eager to see what his son had prepared for her. His little twin sister also quickly joined the audience.
Holding a little baton on his right hand, Blitzo began spinning it and then jumped on the ball, doing circles across the room while still spinning the baton. Then he jumped backwards letting the baton go, kept standing on the now still ball and holding it with his tail. 
When the act was done, both his mom and sister clapped, smiling a lot.
‘Oh, my Blitzo! You’re so talented! Everyone will love your act!’
‘Do you really think so mom?’, Blitzo said with shinny hopeful eyes, receiving a hug from his mom. ‘Do you think people will love me’.
His mom kindly smiled.
‘Of course Blitzo. Someday people will love you as much as I do’. His mom held him tightly and gave him a lot of smooches, making him giggle.
Blitzo opened his eyes to find himself in the arms of Stolas, who was already asleep. Blitzo could feel his warm breath on the nape of his neck, and his soft chest feathers warming his back. Beginning to doze off again Blitzo took Stolas’ arm and held it against his chest, letting himself be hugged by him.
Before falling asleep, Blitzo mumbled to himself while smiling:
‘Mom, I’ve finally found someone who loves me’.
Hope you all enjoyed my fanfic. If you want to support me to work on more fanfics or art you can buy me a coffee on my Ko-fi site, https://ko-fi.com/kirausamaria 
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thrasheraxe · 6 months
Note
Ahhh, what a thrill!! 🙈✨
I wanna request a James/Reader story. The reader is biologically female, but is gender fluid but usually likes to be treated like a boy.
The story would be about his first time. It would start out soft and end up rough.
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Thanks and sorry for my English. 🤧
hetfield x gender fluid reader
weee woo!! thank you for this one!! im not gender fluid myself but ill give it my best go!!🫶
thinking current james and these images because DUHHH
cw: smut, talk of gender identity, virginity, age difference
prompt: genderfluid reader who is an illustrator working at the park one day, when they come across garage owning James, unbeknownst to the reader he was also in a local band
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sitting on a park bench watching the world go by and drawing the scenery around you was one of your favourite ways to relax. there was no judgement there, dressed in a baggy hoodie and jeans you had no fear. even if you were masc presenting today its not like strangers would notice or even care, they just thought of you as some guy on the park bench and that made you happy.
coming out as genderfluid had been hard on you, it wasn't easy to find anyone so accepting or even just understanding, so you'd take your comfort elsewhere. it was no small feat and it was even harder to find like minded individuals, you often thought of others like you and wished to make them not feel as alone as you did.
you almost didn't notice the larger man approaching you, headphones in and staring intently at the forest line trying to capture every detail. he pats you on the shoulder lightly, an older gentleman something you weren't expecting. most of the interaction you'd had at this place was from sweet old ladies who would ask for the time.
cigar in hand and a cowboy hat on his head (which was out of place for the city but it worked for him), he stared down at you with his piercing blue eyes and a bright smile while you took out your earphones. a slight confused expression as you spoke softly.
"uhm..hello?"
"oh sorry darl, didn't mean to spook you, i was just strolling past and noticed your drawings, they are very impressive, can i take a look?" his voice was soft and calming. hesitantly you passed him the sketchpad sheets you were working on.
“wow…i mean wow..” he strokes his finger over the linework lightly, just adoring it. his smile is still bright and as you look at him, you realise this man is stunningly beautiful. even this is enough to make you blush.
“this is fantastic, you work as an illustrator?”
“n-no, it’s mainly something i keep to myself, i uh, work in retail.” you cringe at your own words sounding meek and uninteresting.
“well…can you draw anything or are you just into nature?” his tone kind as he looked directly at you. he had no judgement at all.
“uh yeah i mean i can always try can’t i?”
“well, i actually run an autoshop, and ive been looking for something to spruce up the walls a bit, you think you’d be able to design something for me? not for free of course”
you grin at his suggestion, the mere thought alone of someone enjoying your work was insane but now wanting to pay for it? it was some sort of blasphemy in your eyes.
“of course! i could do that. could probably get it done in a few hours”
“amazing, thank you sweetheart, james by the way. if you think you could get something done that quick, why don’t you come by the Luxe downton? my band is actually playing there.”
He had a huge grin on his face and he was clearly proud of himself for that subtle mention. his gaze not leaving your eyes.
“yeah that’d be really fun.” you smile sheepishly and nod. you also pause and tell him your name with a laugh, realising you’d neglected to mention it.
“great see you at eight” still with that grin on his face, he winks and walks off leaving you in awe of this mysterious and handsome individual.
it didn’t take you long to get home and in the fully lit presence of your desk, bubbling with inspiration you sketch up something. it was nice, in a weird way he’d inspired you with his compliment but you kept it simple. this was for a stranger after all, a simple sketch of an old ‘67 chevy impala, carefully shaded in and small subtle details. you sign your name and get ready for the night, time escaping you faster than you’d thought.
as you arrived, hair done and settling with a slightly nicer combination of jeans and a button up, you plop yourself down at the bar looking out for james. it wasn’t until the first notes of an unfamiliar song that you see him on the stage, he gives you a subtle smile and a nod.
you sat there taking in the environment and enjoying the set they played, bopping your head along and nursing a drink. his voice was actually quite spectacular which added to your already slight attraction to this man.
after he had finished, he made his way over to you, beer in hand with a grin.
“hey there sweetheart.”
“hi” you answer nervously, quick to reach for your bag and grab the drawing out of it, meticulously glued to a piece of card and protected by a sleeve as not to damage it. he takes it out of your hand and with one look his eyes widened.
“wow! this is…amazing…thank you so much, darlin’, let me know how I can repay you?”
you smile brightly and shake your head, a slight blush creeping onto your cheeks
“no, no. that’s okay! i actually had a lot of fun, it was nice to work on something different for a change.”
“least let me buy you a drink, sweetheart?”
“that’d be really nice, thank you”
for the next few hours you’d spent time drinking together, you both talked about his band, your ambitions, your identity since he was very curious. he asked a lot of questions, respectfully of course and you answered them with grace. his willingness to learn made you feel a bit fuzzy inside as no one had ever treated you that way.
you find yourself getting over your aversion to eye contact, willingly staring into his eyes as he spoke about his hobbies and his musical influences. he notices your stare and grins to himself. taking a mental note, he changes the subject to loved ones and is surprised to hear you’ve never dated anyone. you were young sure, but he didn’t expect you to have no experience atall.
“really? thats…interesting.”
“are you making fun of me?” you say raising your eyebrow and glaring playfully. feeling the buzz from the last few drinks.
“no…no. just something crossed my mind is all. shouldn’t’ve but it did” he says softly, his body language a bit more serious and he looked slightly embarrassed.
you look at the time on your phone, 1 am. you’re feeling buzzed and james is looking very fine, screw it. you move closer and sit next to him, thighs pressed to one another and your face flushed. so what if it was your first time? this man was too beautiful to pass on.
“jealous are we james?”
your sudden confidence and proximity threw him for a loop, his eyes flitting between yours and your lips. “pardon?”
“you heard me. jealous? wishing it was your cock buried deep inside me? giving me that wonderful feeling for the first time?”
“fuuck…you don’t waste any time do you?”
“guess i’m just feeling a bit out there and lucky tonight, james.”
the way you kept saying his name made him squirm in his seat, the thought of you sat on his lap, fucking like rabbits and him giving you your first time was overwhelming. when suddenly he stood, held out his hand and not saying anything.
you take it gracefully, grinning to yourself. the reality of the situation not quite kicking in yet as the alcohol made you feel fuzzy. he pulls you to his side, snaking an arm around your waist, chucking some money on the table and walking like a man on a mission.
15 minutes later and a tense taxi drive, where he’d been struggling not to take you right there or even just touch you a little bit, you arrive at a hotel. he rushes you in, holding onto you as if you’d run off if he let go. the silence was deafening.
in the elevator, he just looked down at you with a grin, a gentle hand coming up to lift your chin, his eyes piercing into you once again as he finally spoke.
“you really wanna go through with this?”
“more than anything.”
a moment later his lips were pressed against yours, kissing you deeply, hands nestled at the small of your back. you kiss him back with a little more force, the heat in the room rising. he begins to trail soft kisses down your neck before biting ever so slightly at the crook.
“oh fuck..”
he laughs heartily hearing you curse under your breath and brings a hand to your chin again, rubbing his thumb along your bottom lip and tapping at as if he was mimicking something in his own mind.
“you’ve got such pretty lips, know that?”
too distracted by his gaze at your lips, you fail to answer as you bring tour own hands up his sides slipping under his shirt and scratching at his back in need, producing a breathy groan from his own lips. his head tilting back slightly as he felt your nails dig into his flesh.
you take this moment to start kissing his neck, your own body trembling at this point as you’d never really gotten past a small kiss with anyone before. he could definitely tell, by the way your lips moved hesitantly along his neck, awkwardly sucking and biting at random areas. a furious red blush on your face and your brows knotted together in concentration.
he shook his head and laughed, lifting your face away with his hand.
“let me show you sweetheart.”
his lips trailed your neck, finding that sweet spot and at first he just places sweet kisses there, slowly but surely he takes a little bit of skin in between his lips and nibbles, letting you feel each sensation. soft whimpers escaped your lips as he moved, taking this as a sign he bit harder. you let out a moan and grip his shoulders lightly.
“you like that hun? so cute” he purred in your ear. the ding of the elevator pulling you both out of this heated moment. you break apart and stare up at him, the swift transition of him grabbing you and ending up in the hotel room, clothes being tugged at during another heated makeout session makes your head spin
heart racing you look at him with doe eyes. which makes him curse under his breath and compose himself. sitting back on his knees.
“cmere pretty boy, lets take this your pace huh darl?”
you nod, that nervous feeling welling up inside, sitting up you start to unbutton his shirt, trailing your fingers down his exposed chest and placing kisses there. appreciative groans leaving his lips as he caresses your neck with his thumb. need building up inside himself now, he was struggling at how teasingly slow this was moving. if it was any other person, he would’ve just pinned them to the wall and fucked them violently chasing his own high. but even though you were pretty much a stranger to him, he didn’t want you to regret this. you were so sweet looking and nervous.
eventually after extended amounts of strained eye contact and lustful gazes you make your way to his jeans, unbuckling his belt as he stroked through your hair with his big hand. you pull the fabric down and gasp at the way his cock bounces back, hitting his stomach and throbbing, dripping with precum. he takes it his hands and strokes it a few times, thumbing over the tip, collecting the liquid.
he grins and offered his thumb to you.
“wanna taste it darl?”
“yes” you say tentatively taking it and sucking the tip. with a groan he watches you swirl your tongue around it, cursing under his breath.
“fuck can’t take it any longer, i need you baby, that okay?”
you don’t say anything, just start tugging his jeans down completely, you focus on your own and then pull him on top of you, fiercely making out with him, whimpers escaping your lips.
he sits back up and pulls your thighs apart, gently stroking through your folds, his hands glistening with your wetness.
“need it james…please”
he groans at the sounds you make and your desperate words. he doesn’t take a breath before lining up with your entrance, looking at you for approval. you nod and he leans over stroking your cheek sweetly.
“this gonna hurt a little bit okay? just relax for me, you’re doing so good already ,pretty boy.”
before you can react, he pushes just the tip in, letting you adjust as he stares down at you. you hiss in pain and grip his shoulder tightly, a yelp escaping your lips. he peppers kisses along your jaw and neck, speaking softly
“it’s okay, i know i know. breathe sweet boy, we can just stay like this a moment, yeah?”
one big hand drifts down to your clit, circling slowly and applying some pressure. your head tips back slightly letting out a strained moan.
“ready, james. just do it…please?”
barely able to control himself, he continues working with one hand, the other gripping your hip as he pushes himself to the hilt.
“fuck!” you moan loudly, with his accompanying groan, he starts to move, slowly and gently holding you. it takes you a minute to get used to the feeling but when you do, your body trembles all over, frantic moans escaping your lips. he strokes your hair and keeps kissing your neck tenderly.
“god you feel so fucking good darl, so good…”
his words send you into overdrive, feeling the need for more, you buck against him. your teeth find its way to his shoulder and you bite down, whispering pleas. his demeanour switches, seemingly not being able to control himself at feeling you clench down on him. so soft and warm, he just starts moving faster, his hips stuttering, watching your face to make sure it’s okay.
“fuck…yes…shit…james…feels so good” your words escaping as whines as you stare up at him. you could see his expression become more desperate as soft moans tumble from him. his grasp getting tighter and he grits his teeth.
“so good for me, god..shit i don’t know if i can hold back anymore. so fucking tight and wet for me, baby. drivin me insane”
you lean up and bite his earlobe before whispering “so don’t. i can handle it.”
it was like something had snapped in him, he heaves your thighs up over his waist and hastily shoving a pillow underneath you. slamming his hips into yours and grabbing your thighs tightly, hard enough to leave bruises for sure. your hands reach up and tug at his white hair, your sounds only growing louder which was like music to his ears. he was out of control, slamming back down on you and pulling out before repeating the process, like it was his own first time too.
“fuck look so good taking me , honey. you like that? getting fucked so hard by this fat old cock? hm? gushing round me baby.”
“yes yes fuck fuck…i can’t” you whine, in a stroke of adrenaline you guide his hand back to your clit, pushing yourself further on him. he gladly continues swirling, his fingers moving at the same pace as his hips. hitting you so deep you could feel it in your stomach.
“gonna cum in you, pretty boy. wanna make you remember this forever, gonna ruin you for anybody else.”
this sends you into primal need, borderline fucking yourself on him as you whimper in his ear.
“fuck yeah, fucking ruin me. fill me. need it so bad james…so fucking close.”
“god you are fucking filthy i love it” he growls, slamming harder into you, his body not being able to hold back. his thrusts become messy as you chase that high together. whispering obscenities to each other and grabbing at wherever you can reach.
the sensation comes faster than you’d ever felt before, like a rollercoaster dropping down a peak, your legs begin to shake and you scream out his name. he takes this as a challenge and moves at an impossible pace, cumming hard inside. growling in your ear and pulling at your hair lightly.
“so fucking good, darl. oh fuck I can’t get enough. no, i think i’ll be seeing more of you. mm ill teach you everything.”
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