#im genuinely confused but also i dont care enough for an answer | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daedalusdavinci · 1 year

Note

honestly im just gonna give u a list. anyways. bruce, harvey, eddie (easy mode), oliver queen (whore), equius, sollux, eridan (legally mantaded homestucks), tim drake because im here to cause u psyhic damage, damien (bby), and lets round it off with scarecrow cause why not. pick n choose the ones u want to do anyways -blasts u with my autism beams-

[I.D.: A man in bed, lifting his head off of the pillow with a confused, bleary look, squinting into the light being shined at him. /End I.D.]

jesus ok. this is obviously going to get really long so im sticking it all under a cut now

send me a character and i will tell you my...

Bruce

First impression

my first impression of bruce fucking wayne was actually probably when i was like four years old or something and watching btas so my batman, the batman that has always existed in my head, has been a man who genuinely cares about the people around him and believes everyone can get better. which is to say i probably got the best intro to batman you can get

Impression now

btas is still one of my favorite versions of batman there is but i also know now that there are many versions of batman depending on whos writing him and by god do some of those versions suck! but there are also nonbtas versions that are so great! like robin jason era batman. the most man of all time. or rob bat, or lego batman, or-

Favorite moment

btas bruce makes me fall to my knees and cry every goddamn time. his relationship w harley?? w harvey?? w freeze?? the way even joker trusts him to always be a good man and keep people safe, even when its him. every time bruce desperately reaches out to someone who is trying to hurt him, because he wants so badly to help them get better, know that i am sobbing.

Idea for a story

i dont really have bruce centric ideas because tbhhhh bruce has been so many different things over the years i just mold him to fit my needs for other stories. like i want to write bruharv fics or fics w eddie but harvey and eddie are what set the scene, not bruce, bc they have more firmly set personalities than him. late 80s bruce vs late 90s bruce are two completely different people, and btas bruce and rob bat bruce are like complete opposites to me in the way they wear the cowl. so yeah. the only time i might center something around bruce is if im writing a superbat story, bc i think clark is just as fluid at this point, but i dont really have as much interest in writing a superbat story!

Unpopular opinion

any opinion about batman is already tired, thats just the nature of batman. its too pervasive. someones already said anything i could say. but hey, people are ableist, so im sure this will be an unpopular one! bruce should have mobility aids. bane broke his back. you do not ever 100% come back from that. period, end of story, not arguing.

Favorite relationship

its gotta be bruharv. its gotta be. look obviously im a btas fan to my very bones and btas bruharv never stops breaking my goddamn heart. late 80s is just the same. i think ive said and written enough about them on this blog that no one needs to hear me say it again.

Favorite headcanon

bruce is autistic. you agree.

Harvey

First impression

first intro to harvey was during jasons robin era, so like, annual 14, #410 or whatever, you know what im talking about. hes just camp enough and he also gets frankly the most sympathy from the writers we really see him get outside of btas, imo. i was instantly sucked into the idea of this man who fought his way into the system because he wanted to change it, who believed in the law, but gradually became more and more disillusioned with it as he saw proof that a corrupt system would always be corrupt. morality, balance, and justice is the foundation harveys built his life on as an answer to the abuse he faced, and the way that all shatters for him is just. augh. add that to his beautifully complicated and desperate relationship with bruce and i just fell in love with him instantly

Impression now

hes like my favorite character outside of jason im fucking obsessed with him. i think im a little delusional about it but dc is so goddamn ableist with him i feel like i have to take some liberties, and he can be so INTERESTING if you just give him the room to be. also btas harvey is hot. im not taking any questions at this time.

Favorite moment

btas bruharv breaks! my! heart! that scene where bruce is desperately researching did and promises to a harvey that cant hear him that he will save him, somehow? i think about it every day. but also harvey had a lot of really good moments in tfz. i love to see a man in despair.

Idea for a story

ive had this idea in the back of my head since before i even started working on the jdau where harvey and 2f are trying to become better, sort of, or at least commit crimes in a way that they can feel better about. turning their attention back to mob bosses ala dark victory eventually drives them to team up with jason, who is post utrh and no contact with bruce and the batfamily, who harvey has no idea is even the same punk robin that once insulted his car. jason finds a father figure in harvey while harvey finds a new path to redemption (or antihero bullshit) through jason, and they both help each other sort out their messy ties to bruce. i dont know if ill ever get around to writing it- definitely not until ive gotten the jdau more or less out of my system- but i think about it sometimes.

Unpopular opinion

all of you fuckers need to go look up shit about did rn forreal im not joking. if you think 2f is an evil alter you are buying wholesale into the ableist shit dc is feeding you and its a problem. if you are going to write harvey and 2f, you need to accept that they both kill, that they both do crimes, that 2f is not the sole thing holding harvey back from “going good” again. find a different way to differentiate them. i see this in every goddamn corner of the fandom and it floors me how many of you are comfortable with perpetuating dcs ableism so long as its a “bad” disability like did.

Favorite relationship

its obviously bruharvey. (waves at my. entire blog really.) but i also really enjoy harvey and jason teamups, if that wasnt obvious. tfz changed my brain chemistry but i was like this even before that. i think they could find a lot of common ground in each other if i just ignore the part where 2f killed jasons dad lol

Favorite headcanon

i was just ranting about this the other day but i think the difference between harvey and 2f is that harvey tries very hard to repress things as the apparently normal part and wants very badly to believe in the legal system and that he could be a good person (pre acid, we see him kind of give up on that after the acid) whereas 2f embraces his anger and passion and has significantly less hope in the system and feels that he is inherently a bad person due to extremely low self esteem, because, yknow, hes the emotional part, hes the trauma holder. theyre both angry, they both commit crimes, harvey just has issues around letting himself experience negative emotions. this is pretty much the foundation for everything else i write because its how i work around the evil alter bullshit. they are both complicated (even more so than i can put concisely like this), it cannot just be 2f is bad and the source of all evil.

Edward

First impression

the first comic i ever read w eddie having any sort of significant part was hush and the joy of seeing that mystery come together and having eddie be the mastermind behind it all, as a huge mystery fan, was like nothing else. eddie was clever, irritating, and smug as all hell, with the goofiest goddamn schtick, and i just fell in love with him. the more i got to know him after that the more i loved him.

Impression now

eddie is one of the most camp rogues in the whole gallery. hes pathetic, whiny, attention-seeking, and hes also clever, annoying, and smug. i like that hes so often harmless but also has these little moments where he really does get batman on the ropes with just his brain. hes a little mastermind and i love that. hes a little creacher. hes hilarious. he has so much potential. he drives me crazy. im listening to batman unburied rn and hes so obnoxious i want to chew off my own leg. he remains one of my favorite batman characters of all time

Favorite moment

god theres this one origin story where hes reencounting his life and hes literally like rolling around on the floor whining about how lonely he is and how much he craves attention and its like. peak fucking eddie. hes so fucking annoying i love him i want to bully him

Idea for a story

ive already said im a mystery fan. when i was a kid, i read every single detective novel i could get my hands on, and its such a wonderful moment for me when batman can scratch that little itch in my brain. ive been rereading some of those old books lately and i really want to write a rddlebat fic in that style where bruce is a detective (but in a busybody way, and not in a police way), and riddler is the moriarty to his sherlock that keeps him running in circles. i can see the setting so clearly in my mind. ive just never written a mystery before and im struggling to think of one compelling and in character enough to drive the plot.

Unpopular opinion

i have learned that riddler fans deeply, deeply hate hush. the vitriol people have is incredible. its still one of my favorite riddler comics of all time, though, and i wonder if its because its written like a mystery instead of an action adventure. it leaves you with all of the clues, it builds, and in the end, the whole thing unfolds beautifully. its one of the best comics in terms of ones that show off what eddie can do and the extent of his intellect. its one of like four comics ive ever bought because i just adore it and apparently that is a VERY unpopular opinion lmfao

Favorite relationship

obviously rddlebat. obviously. i like them best when they have a sherlock and moriarty dynamic and are constantly challenging each other, pissing each other off, kiiind of flirting. theyre peak homoerotic rivalry to me. i dont like, mind stuff where theyre all cutesy and whatever, but its never been how ive seen them because im a homestuck and i know kismessitude is the way

Favorite headcanon

liam wrote a fic where eddie uses that cane because he actually needs it and he was so fucking right for that. i am 100% integrating that into my belief system

Oliver

First impression

sdkflsdjnfsdsdflsdf i HATE to admit this. but my first impression of oliver was in that comic where jason kidnaps mia and bruce snaps at ollie for his treatment of roy, and my second impression of him was rhato. so. needless to say, my first impression of ollie was Not Good. i thought he was just. the worst fucking dad ever, and a total piece of shit

Impression now

hes a communist king and he can GET IT. i have read way more green arrow comics since my first impression of him and i love him dearly. oliver fucks up again and again but he actually tries to do better. he learns and he grows and maybe he hasnt always been the best dad but hes doing pretty damn good now. he cares about and invests in his community on the local level and he puts his goddamn money where his mouth is every time. hes what a lot of people want bruce to be, tbh. i actually fucking adore oliver queen and i really want to read more green arrow comics

Favorite moment

green arrow/green lantern is such a fantastic goddamn run and i rotate it in my mind every day, specifically the part where they seem a skirmish between people and the police and hal immediately jumps in to help the police, but oliver stops him and starts breaking down the issues with that. like. fuck. do you know how fucking refreshing it is to see that in a comic. also when roy and oliver shoot cat man and then accuse the other one of missing i think about that all the time

Idea for a story

one day i am going to go as batshit about green lantern as i do about batman right now. that day hasnt come yet. but it will. and then there will be ideas.

Unpopular opinion

iii already said it tbh lmfao. green arrow is what people want batman to be. the family dynamics are way better and ollie invests in his community and tries to get better the way people want to believe bruce does (and lets be honest, how often does dc actually let bruce be the batman we know he can be and has been on occasion?)

Favorite relationship

ill be the first to admit im really fucking biased after reading ga/gl but ollie/hal/dinah. because yeah. what was all that.

Favorite headcanon

i think about grandpa ollie all the time. aaaaall the time. i think about him investing all the time in lian he never did in roy and i think about the apology written into it that he probably does say outloud, because hes not goddamn batman and he tries.

Tim (i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you)

First impression

the first tim comics i ever read were. the first tim comics ever. he was in full hero worship mode and his hair looked dumb as hell and he was a cute kid. his audacity was fucking stunning, but i was willing to forgive him for it

Impression now

wheres that fucking tumblr post thats like peoples reactions to shows before and after a plottwist where someones like “why does everybody hate this guy” and then “I Know Now.” thats how i feel about tim. the audacity did not ever stop. he carries it with him forever. he is sexist as fuck and the way he treats stephanie makes my blood boil, and he is one of the number one offenders in terms of rewriting the narrative around jason. a lot of this is the fault of the writers and not him (PARTICULARLY THE WAY BRUCE TREATS HIM COMPARED TO OTHERS AND THE SHIT HE GETS AWAY WITH), but the whole thing leaves such a bad taste in my mouth i just cant stomach tim anymore. add that to how goddamn annoying tim fans are and how confidently they mischaracterize tim and every other fucking character? i can easily say tim is my least favorite member of the batfam.

Favorite moment

i think about this dumbass panel every goddamn day.

[I.D.: A comic panel of Tim Drake where he is standing outside, partially shaded by a tree. He is wearing an oversized red sweater that says “zoo of wires” in all caps and yellow pants. He’s squinting strangely and there’s a scuff mark on his cheek. His hair is the older style of Tim hair that stands completely on end and makes him look like a clown. Overall, it’s a pretty awful picture of Tim. /End I.D.]

but genuinely any moment between tim and kon or the rest of the young justice team, i think, are his best moments.

Idea for a story

any time i feel like tim could have room in a story im writing i am simply going to replace him with duke <3

Unpopular opinion

everything ive said so far has been an unpopular opinion and im not convinced i wont be drawn and quartered for posting this. but frankly if you made it this far into this post im kind of assuming youre a friend of mine who already knows i dont like tim bc this is really long. anyway heres another one <3 tims parents were never abusive you guys just dont want to admit tim is only interesting if you give him jason or stephs backstory

Favorite relationship

its gotta be tim and kon. gotta be. they are cute. i get it. the way tim just lights up in his robin run (or was it red robin?) when kon comes to visit is. yeah.

Favorite headcanon

i love it when tim quits being robin or is never robin at all. i am a hater.

Damian

First impression

i think the first damian comic i ever read was bftc and batman and robin 2009 and the MOMENT i saw his little face. his little cheeks. oh my god. hes SO. BABY. and hes a slightly MURDEROUS baby??? even better. i saw damian and i knew he was gonna be one of my faves he was just too precious, too perfect

Impression now

hes the babiest boy of all time and i love him more than i can even put into words. i adore him. i need to read more of his comics but i have read Enough to know that i love him. i want to pick him up and swing him around like a cat. bolito de odio mi queridooooo <3333

Favorite moment

i hold the fact that he named the cat alfred very close to my heart. also when he whooped tim and jasons asses but dick stopped him and validated him before he could (crying)

Idea for a story

eventually i wanna write more stuff w him in the jdau but i dont have it all set in stone just yet

Unpopular opinion

everyone hates aro hcs but youll pry aro dami out of my cold dead hands

Favorite relationship

dick and dami (PLATONIC. OBVIOUSLY!!) is such a basic answer but it is my true answer. im not joking when i say it literally makes me cry. i just!!!! have a LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT IT. im not going to get into it all but augh. jon and dami is probably second tho their friendship is so fun and ill never forgive dc for what they did to it. also prefer them platonic

Favorite headcanon

i cant even call damian being autistic a headcanon. its just real.

Jon

First impression

jesus christ. sdlkfjnsdfsf scarecrow is a cool tool to make things happen in comics he makes for a very good villain but i have never been very impressed by his actual personality i find him very very very creepy and i do not trust him around children i think hes a little freak

Impression now

exactly the same. i dont get how big into him some people get and moth i think you are fully delusional

Favorite moment

this is the one exception alright. as the crow flies is my favorite scarecrow comic of all time its really intriguing and he is very creacher. the power dynamic is really such that you have to pity jon, he loses so much control over the situation and he doesnt even understand whats happened to him, and the one person he confides in betrays him. the scarebeast itself is, i think, one of the best batman monsters if not The best batman monster the design is so goddamn cool and jons design, too, is just absolutely great in this comic. its such a goddamn good comic i love it

Idea for a story

lmao im never gonna write a story about this bitch

Unpopular opinion

i dont like him. thats my unpopular opinion. and i dont get “the dork squad”

Favorite relationship

again, the dynamics in as the crow flies were really interesting. otherwise idgas

Favorite headcanon

if i ever wasted the brainspace to think about scarecrow hcs they would be exclusively in reference to scarebeast. but i dont.

aughughugh homestuck time

Equius

First impression

haha gross! this guy is fucking weird

Impression now

funniest fucker there is. nothing about equius isnt hilarious. i love him. hes the definition of beta cuck and thats hysterical. hes weird and gross and kind of creepy and also slightly charming in a bizarre way and i love him

Favorite moment

i dont know now its been a while since i went through his pesterlogs but he does have some prettyf ucking funny lines. in general tho nothing can top arquius. hilarious

Idea for a story

ill probably write another h@lquius fic one day. hold me accountable was some of the most fun ive ever had writing a fic

Unpopular opinion

that i like him at all tbh lmao

Favorite relationship

OBVIOUSLY its equius and hal. obviously. they bounce off of each other in the worst possible ways theyre so gross and funny. arquius is one of the funniest things to ever come out of homestuck. dirk and equius is probably right after that.

Favorite headcanon

i like my space au a lot idk

Sollux

First impression

i thought sollux was the best goddamn thing since vriska. he was snarky in a way that vibed just right with me, his humor cutting and self deprecating and just perfect. i loved his relationship w aradia, i thought they were so sweet, and he also just reminded me a lot of dave who was my favorite character period. he and karkat were also really funny. i think i also just related to him a lot, at the time

Impression now

sollux is a lot of fun as a character because hes so dry and flippant about everything. hes a genuine true neutral character who most of the time cant find it in himself to give a shit about anything, and you have to admire that. hes laid back, except for when hes not, and his interpersonal relationships are generally snarky and ribbing with an undercurrent of very genuine care and affection. he was one of my favorite trolls for a very long time and i love him a lot.

Favorite moment

when hes just lost his lisp and is kind of obsessing over it is a pretty good one. but his conversations with karkat in the very beginning are also pretty good. everythign between him and aradia too. idk, its been a while.

Idea for a story

some day im probably gonna end up writing an ersol story, but from time to time i also think about writing that pale davsol fic for the guardians au ive had in the back of my mind forever

Unpopular opinion

feferi did not treat sollux especially well and did not respect his boundaries at all. their relationship sucked

Favorite relationship

rn its probably post sprite eridan and sollux, but ive always had a soft spot for some kind of friendship between dave and sollux, and sollux and aradia is a classic for a reason

Favorite headcanon

bigender sollux ftw. see also: sex neutral asexual sollux

Eridan

First impression

he is so whiny and obnoxious but also so brilliantly crafted and he has so much depth to him for a character that stops mattering like ten pages in time to latch onto him and never be normal about it again

Impression now

and then i wasnt! i dont think much has changed about my opinion on eridan at all actually

Favorite moment

his conversations with karkat oh my goddd theyre such gossips. also im sorry but youve gotta love his stupid little anxious talksprite hes such a prick. AUGH. AND THE DRESSES IN PESTERQUEST HANG ON

Idea for a story

see the above ersol musings but also and more importantly im going to write another erdave story. i dont know what its gonna be about but im sure in a few months eri will break down my door and say something to me about them and within a week ill have churned out another goddamn fic

Unpopular opinion

this has always been an unpopular opinion but if you think eridan deserved better but you think vriska is an irredeemable piece of shit you are in fact sexist <3

Favorite relationship

its very obviously eridan and dave. obviously. ive been writing this shit out for so long im tired now and im nto going to get into all of it but just know that i know everything about them and i know exactly why they work and im right about it. but i also believe very strongly in eridan and karkat and their whole relationship with karkat being like. honestly the only person who continued to believe in eridan and cared about him when he was really going off the deep end and their friendship actually being very genuine and sweet and the like potential there. but ALSO. vriska and eridan is one of the best friendships in the messiest way they were actually like the best and strongest kismessitude in homestuck and ill never let anyone forget it i LOVE them i love them being exes that know too much about each other and use it for evil even tho theyve stayed friends after all this time

Favorite headcanon

eridan being genderfluid is BASICALLY canon so i wont even call that a headcanon bc its just true. i feel very strongly about eridan having a very unhealthy relationship to sex and relationships where he ties his worth to them regardless of whether or not he actually wants them. he IS ace and he is DEEPLY repressed about it, thanks

#ashysiashy #moth i think this took me hours #anyway. just so everyone knows. vriska was my favorite troll in homestuck when i first read it and ill tolerate slander against her never #karkat is my current favorite

3 notes · View notes

moonjxsung · 3 months

Note

hellaur pookie 🥺🥺 CLOVER ANONNIE IS BACK

to answer your prv question yes hes pretty cute 🤭🤭 updates on the situation though all his friends keep saying hes like lwk obsessed with me but when my guy friend asked him if the whole thing was real he kept denying it and said he has no clue what theyre saying 😭😭 so yeah kinda confusing but also on another note i told one of my friends ab everything that went on and she curiously asked me if he was my type ⁉️

i literally just sat there thinking for like a straight up 5 or so minutes only to have the realization hit me that i genuinely dont have a type.. cs literally yk how when you ask someone what their type is they might answer it with like a specific race or personality or a skin/hair color, height, etc.. I GENUINELY DONT HAVE A PREFERENCE 😭😭 is this just me or

cs thinking back on it all of my exes and past interests are not similar in like any way at all.. like one time i went from dating a puppy coded tall asf ginger to a severely introverted black cat jp who was shorter than me 😭😭 i feel like im the pure epitome of "idrc abt looks" and it didnt hit me until now

anyways im glad that youre back to writing again and feeling a bit better!! pls dont tire yourself out though AND MAKE SURE YOU GET SLEEP 🗣🗣also yes the pochacco agenda on your blog is so real. (who can blame us though hes adorable 😔)

~ 《☘》

CLOVER ANNONIE MY BELOVED 🫶🫶🫶🫶 naurrrrr he definitely likes you, I feel like denying it is even MORE incriminating because he’s just nervous for sure 😭😭 ALSO I totally get the whole “I don’t have a type” thing like for me it’s just whoever I like at the moment ! girls and guys alike I just roll with the punches and if I’m attracted then I’m attracted and you will KNOW I’m attracted…… if anything I feel like personality is definitely more attractive to me because I’m really not one to initiate anything based on looks alone, I like developing a relationship slowly over time so I can never give a straight answer on what my type is. So I totally understand where you’re coming from !!

I’m SO glad to be writing again and I promise I am taking care of myself and getting enough sleep (or at least trying my hardest !!) I LOVE U POOKIE I HOPE YOU’RE DOING AMAZING TOO. 🩷🫶💘💖💓👼💫

#☘️ anon #ask

1 note · View note

pureiceblue · 5 months

Note

im confused because you say that the portrait ending in lilys well is just an easter egg that doesnt matter much overall but then there are seemingly like a thousand ties between the children of stardust and antonio's college? like his wife says "she isnt your mother or god" and the azoth hair seems to come from ume in some way based on the translation of the grave? do you just mean that you arent interested in telling a story where both ume and lily actually physically appear or? also if it boils down to "this is stuff i dont want to reveal about potential future projects" you can 100% just answer with that

Hm? When did I say it doesn't matter? I think I remember saying that the little paranormal events (the maggot monologue and the footprints etc) don't really matter much, but I meant that really not meaning much to the overall plot. (Unless you really care about Lillian's mom haunting places)

The ties to Ume and the Children of Stardust as a whole are entirely placed with purpose, but I think the issue is I only have two games within this universe so far. It's easy to think that Lily has a more grand importance with Ume in the future, but she generally doesn't matter much to them. Benefits of being (sorta) human.

Lily's Well is made to be able to be enjoyed as both a standalone thing and a little story within this universe I have here. I think it's important to Lily's story to have her fully escape without worrying about the past literally crawling back to her. Girl's been through enough lol.

My next project in this universe features both the town that Ume had completed taken over at one point and the woman that managed to kill the Immortal Stardust Witch. Even though it's another story not about Ume, it takes place in the period of time between her death and revival, so the scars she left on that town and the people within are still able to be felt.

I have so much documentation on this timeline because I'm genuinely afraid of having conflicts haha

#And I'll probably designate short horror games to the rest of her parts as well #Evillious Chronicles ass story telling I do I'm sorry lol #I do have plans of adult Lily making a cameo within the game about her post-revival though #Basically just warned to get out of dodge for a bit by someone with insider knowledge #anonymous #ask ice

1 note · View note

thatoneguywhowho · 1 year

Text

i do, and dont know my own feelings! as host, i feel a lot! i feel what the others are feeling and its often hard to identify which of my feelings are my own. i dont even,, feel, like myself, right now.

i care about you. i do in some sense want you to be mine but im also capable of accepting that youre not. which is what i had to do when this whole fucking,, thing, happened!

i struggle in relationships! i do, i am a possessive asshole, ive always been told i dont give enough love, i have to be asked for love, and all of that shit!

truth be told i genuinely dont know if i can love! if you were to ask me personally if i love you, or someone else, my genuine answer would be that i dont know. that ISNT a no. its a genuine ‘im puzzled and confused, im unsure’.

i, i do, feel like, sometimes, i have the ‘right’ to you?? i hate the thought of someone else hearing the things ive heard, because sometimes, youre mine! im possessive, and i dont want you to love anybody else but me sometimes!

i dont know

i know, for a fact, twoey loves you though, if thats anything.

i do have some sort of attraction towards you

1 note · View note

rinstars · 3 years

Note

hello risa! i'm coming off anon to share a fanart i did for cry for me ;-; i was going to wait until the end of the series, but i couldn't LOL. before i share it though, i just wanted to get these off my chest:

one. whatever you guys do, please do not read this in public if you cannot contain your emotions (i was going to wait until i got home, but anticipation got the best of me) 😭. i slammed my phone on the table so hard after reading this line: "unlike you, i respect the feelings i have for yura, y/n," OOOOOOOOOOOO I WAS SO HURT LMAO. my tears were hanging by the thread.

two. i know suna didn't mean any of the things he said to hurt y/n, but i can understand his reaction. he was simply frustrated and i'm assuming that he is confused with this whole situation now. i think it was also stated towards the end that he couldn't handle situations like this well enough.

three. everyone needs an osamu in their life :') i love his platonic friendship with y/n so much!! it's so heartwarming to see him worry about her. he's such a good friend and deserves the best.

four. there is so much miscommunication between suna and y/n which truly breaks my heart :( i kind of wish suna would've just told her that he was trying to push that woman away. but then again, there would be lack of action and angst.

five (connected with four). i love love LOVE how you made the plot and characters realistic. in real life, there is miscommunication and assumptions in relationships. nobody is perfect and everybody has their own flaws. i just hope they learn to forgive and communicate with each other after this argument.

six (last one i promise 😭). so.... suna does care about y/n. i've been wondering for the longest if y/n meant anything at all to him. interesting.... this should be a good sign, right :') ?

out of all the chapters so far, this one broke my heart into pieces. my throat was choked up with tears, ready to spill an entire ocean. you never fail to make my heart flutter and shatter. your writings are amazing and i would PAY for your works. don't forget to take your time and always make time for yourself 💕.

OH MY GODHEOGEOEHEI WAIT OMFGGEJGE IM ACTUALLY GONNA CRY WAIT 😭😭 OKAY LET ME ANSWER EVERY NUMBER FIRST

one, right omg that part was literally double blow from him it’s like admitting he still has feelings for yura and also insulting yn on how she doesn't even seem that serious with omi with how much she was "throwing" herself at others 😭

two, yeah exactly :( suna is very bad at this. going into cfm, the image i had of suna had been set as someone who wouldn't be able to handle heavy emotional confrontations well—much like his canon self and i wanted it to be the root of misunderstandings. he's very frustrated and very confused how what they considered as a little game has turned out like this yk?

three, OSAMU YAAASSS no hes actually perfect and thats the reason i want him to remain platonic with yn. she could use a guy she wouldn't fall in love with yk? just a genuine friend.

four & five, just like what i said at three, i really really want there to be stupid and frustrating flaws that make you wanna pull your hair cause how can suna be this dense and how can yn be this stupid but yk? thats their personality. i dont feel like switching it so we can read a "flawless" plot 😭

six, he does! and like he said he cares about her more than he'd like to admit which means, it's probably a type of care that scares him because admitting it both to her and himself means there's no turning back.

LASTLY THANK U SO MUCH OH MY GOD u dont get how happy this made me I'm actually baffled that someone would love cfm enough to make a fanart out of it :(( thank u so so so much babe ilysm and i really appreciate it it literally made me so happy 😭💗

#♡.xolovevl02 #THANK Y SOOOO MUCH #♡.entry #cry for me ; series #cfm ; misc #cfm ; faves

17 notes · View notes

peachiikawa · 4 years

Text

Fly | Route Selected: S. Daichi

a/n: thank you all for being so patient with me. finally, here is the long awaited daichi route. hope you all enjoy!

genre: mafia au

warnings: blood, reader getting hurt, guns, violence

word count: 2.3k

Fly Masterlist

“I choose you”

Your eyes locked with daichi

And daichi stared into yours trying to figure you out

“Are you sure?”

You nodded your head and held your ground

“Im sure”

He felt his eyes soften for a moment at the determination in your eyes before hardening again

“Fine. Everyone else, go home. Youre with me then. Lets go”

Daichi called for a car and drove you home

The silence between the two of you was only filled with the soft sound of a piano playing on the radio

The ride was finally over after about twenty minutes

“I’ll come get you tomorrow morning. Youll be working as an intern now so dress accordingly”

With that he left and you felt like you could breathe again

Just what had you gotten yourself into?

As he said he was at your house in the morning in a car that looked just a tad too expensive

You gulped before taking your first step towards him

“Good morning, Daichi”

He just nodded at you as you got into the car

The drive was once again silent

You looked over at the man behind the wheel and noticed how...formal he looked

Suit, straight back, both hands on the wheel

You felt yourself naturally adjusting yourself to mirror his mannerisms

He stole some glances at you without you noticing and felt his eyes soften upon seeing how nervous you looked

As soon as you stepped into the building you could feel the professional atmosphere

The endless windows and white walls gave off a chilling feeling

You only came back to reality when Daichi gently nudged your back

“I dont have all day. Hurry up and move”

The harshness of his words were the opposite of his touch but they still hurt nonetheless

You nodded your head and kept walking, trying to keep up with his quick stride

You followed him into an office as he took a seat behind the wooden desk

“This will be brief so don’t feel the need to sit”

Your eyes followed his every move as he organized his desk that was already pretty organized with stacks of papers

Daichi went on about your duties here but you honestly werent listening

You were a bit overwhelmed from the unfamiliar building you were in that you forgot about the man in front of you

Up until your eyes landed on the nameplate that sat on his desk

Sawamura Daichi, CEO

Without even knowing it, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion

Just who did you get yourself involved with?

Daichi finally noticed that his conversation with you wasnt going anywhere

“Hey. Are you even listening to me?”

You snapped out of it and shook your head

“Im listening!”

He just sighed and repeated everything he just said again

“Whatever. Just listen because this will be the last time i say this. Youll be working here at Sawamura Inc from now on as an intern. Your fellow interns are Hinata and Kageyama so feel free to ask them questions if you have any. You can leave now. I’ll come get you at the end of the day”

You nodded your head and started your day

Kageyama helped you the most in learning the ropes, you didnt see much of hinata. it was almost as if he was avoiding you

“Ok...so these files go here?”

He nodded his head

“Yeah i think you got it down now. If you need me ill be organizing some things for suga”

The rest of the day went on slowly until finally seven oclock hit

You could hear the faint sound of footsteps approaching you

“Lets go”

Daichi wasted no time in leaving

You quickly put down the rest of the papers you needed to organize and followed him out

The next couple weeks were like clockwork

Almost exactly the same as the day before

And no matter how hard you tried to get to know the man who took you to and from work he wouldnt budge

The only thing you ever got out of him were short replies and head nods

Did he really not like you that much?

But something you noticed every morning and every evening was the light sound of a piano playing from the radio

“Do you like the piano daichi?”

You werent even sure youd get an answer out of him

But he must if he listened to it everyday

You saw his hands lightly grip the steering wheel tighter before loosening, a ghost of a smile appearing on his lips

Your eyes widened when you saw it

In your two weeks together...youd never seen him give a look like this

Like he...enjoyed life

Like he was happy

“Yeah...its okay”

But just as fast as it appeared on his face, it quickly disappeared

Who knew that the stoic man next to you could make expressions like that

Almost made your heart race

“Do you play?”

Silence fell upon the both of you before you heard him let out a sigh

“No”

And now we’re back to stage one when you finally though you were getting more than one word answers

What could you do to make him see you?

This question played in your head as you filed away some papers for Asahi with Hinata

It was the first time youd done something with him but from what youve seen kageyama just calls him an idiot all the time and hits him

Also from what youve heard hinatas been with the sawamuras for a while so maybe he has some insight

“Hey hinata, can i ask you a question?”

He kept quiet so you took that as permission

“Do you know why daichi likes listening to the piano so much?”

That caused him to stop

“If he hasnt told you then dont ask me”

Youd be lying if you said that didnt make you more intrigued so naturally you did some digging

And eventually you stumbled upon an article from no more than five years ago

It told the tale of a young piano prodigy that had chosen to study music at the university of music and performing arts in vienna

And that piano prodigy was the now the distant leader of the Karasuno Mafia

You wonder what happened to him, what the story was behind his change in career path

The next day you decided that if you wanted to learn more about him then asking the questions would help

“Good afternoon daichi!”

You smiled at him as you delivered some paperwork to him

“Morning…”

You set the small stack down on his desk in front of him

“These are the papers for the closing on the Inarizaki deal”

He picked them up and quickly skimmed it

“Okay, thank you. You may go now”

When you didnt move he looked back up

“Do you have something else for me?”

He saw the way you fidgeted with the tips of your fingers and his eyes softened for just a moment

“Would you like to have lunch with me?”

He knew that he should say no

That he shouldnt let you in

“Sure”

How harmful could one lunch possibly be

Little did daichi know he was about to be interrogated

“--no i dont know who my favorite superhero is”

This was probably the tenth question youve asked and he wished you would stop

But he didnt know how to tell you no

Not when you were asking genuine questions

He thought it was kind of nice to be talking to someone normal again

Not someone who was involved with the mafia

But someone who was just...ordinary

“Ok ok..one last question”

He smiled softly

You felt your breath hitch after him showing you that gentle smile

“Go ahead”

The way you talked to him with no filter was refreshing

So he wasnt expecting the next question really at all

“I came across an article the other day about this boy who loved playing the piano,”

Daichis heart almost stopped

“Why did you stop playing daichi?”

‘Because my father made me’

He clenched his fist, crumpling the napkin inside of it

“I just got bored of it”

His reply came out through gritted teeth and you knew he was lying

You gently laid your hand on top of his until you felt it relaxing under you

“Well, no matter the reason, I hope that someday ill be lucky enough to hear you play”

His heart melted

The thought of playing again is something hes always wanted

But his father wouldnt let him

And left a permanent reminder on him about it

“That probably wont ever happen so dont get your hopes up. Let’s get back to the office, lunch is over”

And just like that he was back to being cold towards you just when you thought you were making progress

A couple weeks go by and it seems like daichis pushed you out of his life all over again

So much so that suga was the one giving you assignments from daichi where daichi used to just tell you himself

“Hey, hinata, kageyama and y/n! Daichi wants you guys to go make some copies from the store around the corner. Printer is jammed here and we need to get those documents ASAP”

You all nodded your heads and headed out

You were really too caught up in your own thoughts to be thinking about your surroundings

Had you really crossed a line that day?

You just wanted to figure out the real daichi

Because to you, the real daichi had his walls up 24/7 but behind those walls was a gentle smile and just a guy who wanted nothing more than to just live a normal life

So you didnt notice when hinata and kageyama stopped causing you to run into their backs

“Why did you guys-”

Hinata held a protective arm out in front of you

“What are you doing here, mad dog?”

The boy you assumed was ‘mad dog’ pushed himself off of wall he was leaning against

“Boss wanted me to fetch something”

His eyes locked onto your form

“And im here to collect”

This sent chills down your back

What was he going to do for you?

Who was his boss?

Your mind was running a mile a minute

“y/n you need to run”

Hinata’s voice brought you back to reality

“What?”

Hinata’s eyes never left the man in front of him

“Kageyama and i will take care of him. You need to get back to the office. Now!”

You sprinted as soon as hinata yelled for you to leave

‘Theyll be alright, right? They handle stuff like this all the time’

But you came to an abrupt halt at the sound of a gun going off

‘Fuck my life’

You turned back around help in any way you could

Only to come upon an unconscious kageyama and bleeding hinata

“You fucking idiot! Whyd you come back?!”

Meanwhile mad dog approached you and placed his hand under your chin

“You just made my job a whole lot easier”

Before you could even scream a piece of cloth was placed over your mouth and your vision went black

“Give your boss a message for me, carrot top. Tell him that if he wants his intern back he has to come get them himself”

Hinata gritted his teeth before passing out himself

Suga found them not too long after that

And after hinata told daichi what had happened...he was livid

He was supposed to protect you

To make sure that you stayed safe

And he was too weak to do it

Too afraid of what his father would have done if he found out that he was fond of a random person they picked up from the streets that had no ties to them

Afraid of what his father would have done to you

He clenched his jaw and let out a grunt as he punched the wall next to him

But fuck that

He knew that in this moment he needed to get you back right now

The thought of you being injured due to his own incompetence scared him more than what his father might ever do to him

So he was off

“When will they wake up?”

“Theyve been out forever”

“Dude its only been like three hours of course theyre still out”

The voices around you became clear as you regained consciousness

“Oh~ looks like theyre finally awake”

“Yeah probably because you wouldnt shut up”

Standing in front of you was a group of men you had only seen in brief pictures from the reports you made for daichi

‘Seijoh’

From what you remember their boss is a major flirt and his right hand man keeps him humble

Mad dog was sitting off in the corner next to a brown haired man who just kept staring at you…’creepy’

You flinched as the one you recognized as their boss reached a hand out towards you

“Aww dont be scared! I promise i wont hurt you”

He bent down to your level with a hand on your shoulder and leaned in to the point that his breath tickled your ear

“Though im not too sure that some of the others here wont. So be good for me, okay y/n?”

You were scared out of your mind

But you were not going to let this guy get into your head

So you did what any reasonable person would do

You pulled your head back and headbutted him in the forehead

He stumbled back a bit

“Stay the fuck away from me”

Oikawa held his head and gave you a nasty glare

“Iwa take care of them”

Everyone filed out till it was just you and the spiky hair man in front of you

“Nothing against you, just doing what the boss said. Plus you could have just laid low but you had to provoke him”

Daichi wasted no time in getting to seijohs building

And as soon as oikawa heard he was in the building he sent for him

“Welcome daichi! What an unexpected surprise!”

Daichi always hated the sound of oikawas jovial voice

How fake it sounded

“Just give me y/n back”

Oikawa just shook his head

“Never were a fan of small talk were you daichi? Okay, since youre just dying to see them ill bring them in now”

Daichi turned around and reeled at what he saw

Bruised and battered as you were set down onto the ground

“You fucking bastard”

Daichi clenched his jaw

He was at a loss of words for the sight in front of him

But he knew he had to get you out of here

So he scooped you up into his arms and headed for the door

But before leaving he stopped and spoke into his earpiece

“Get them”

And with that he left as a war ensued between the two gangs

Beep beep

The sound of your heart monitor brought you back to the land of the living

And next to you was a passed out daichi

You slowly felt around your bed before hitting the call button for your nurse

And as soon as you did daichi jumped up from his seat at the sound of footsteps approaching

You reached out and put your hand on his to get his attention and smiled at him

He sat back down and let the nurses tend to you, his gaze never leaving your body

“You should be able to leave within the next day or two. Rest up mx. l/n”

The nurse then left your room and left the two of you alone

You locked eyes with him before looking down at his hand and seeing how discolored it was

He noticed your eyes widen and tried to hide his hand once he realized what you were looking at

“Daichi! You need to take better care of yourself!”

You sat up from your bed and called a nurse to get a basic first aid kit

“Im fine y/n. You need to rest”

“Like hell youre fine! Daichi your hand is hurt. Please just let me fix it for you”

But before you could apply the bandages you hand your hand in his

“It cant be fixed y/n. This hand doesnt feel anything”

You looked up at him with confused eyes

“Its the reason i dont play anymore. My father crushed it a few years back so i wouldnt even think about playing. Said it was time i stopped playing with useless things”

The grip on your hand tightened a bit before slowly loosening

But you just gently squeezed it

“Well, even if your hand is ‘useless’ id still feel better if youd let me wrap it. Your hand is still a part of you and it can still bring so much joy into your life as well as those around you. You just have to have the courage to seize what you want.”

‘The courage to seize what I want’

Your words played out in his head over and over again

He made a promise to himself that day

That one day, you two would be happily together

No matter how hard this path may be

He was going to seize his happiness

Tag List:

@the-ironic-me @multisun @my-mass-hysteria @sugawsites @youbloodylegendyoudidit @sinthxy @celamoon @tinymouth @fait-de-fleurs @tsukifanbase @69owo @laglyssage @hearteyeskags @ntngann @shnnn @fukuro-dani-ace

#daichi x reader #sawamura x reader #sawamura daichi #sawamura daichi x you #sawamura daichi x reader #daichi hcs #daichi x y/n #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! x reader #daichi sawamura #daichi sawamura x reader #haikyu x reader #tw blood #tw guns #tw violence

83 notes · View notes

zwowow · 3 years

Note

this might be very triggering so its fine if u dont do it, but kells self harming secretly and em finding out and kells thinks he’s gonna be mad but em is comforting instead

sorry for the ask, im the same anon that went thru a break up and it aint going well

tw: self harm

I’m sorry my love, break ups are rough and it really sounds like ur goin thru it. sorry this took a while! but hopefully you’ve had time to heal a bit between sending this ask nd now.

psa to all I’ve never self harmed, so i’m just hoping this captures the idk headspace? alright :/

He started when he was a teenager. That’s how long he’s been doing this shit. It’s fucking shameful that he hasn’t grown out of it in over a decade, but it’s also one of the only things that’s consistently soothed him. When weed isn’t enough to calm him, or shake him from a spiral of self-loathing, he always comes back to this. Not because it makes him feel better, but because it makes him feel something.

He can focus on the pain and only the physical pain. His emotions, the real world shit he has to deal with, can fall to the side for a moment and he can revel in the hurt. The hurt that he has control over.

That’s a part of it, too. Control. So much of the existential pain he feels is beyond what he himself can change. Everyone gets to have an opinion on him, and regardless if it’s good or bad, he has to know it and internalize it. He has no choice. Time moves on and he can’t control what his past self has done, but the regret eats him alive. His head spins when he thinks about all of the shit that’s wrong in his life that he no longer has the power to change.

But the harm he does himself? Knowingly and methodically? It’s all controlled. He’s got it all under control.

Or at least he did. Recently, he’s had the itch to hurt more and more frequently. There’s so much going on in his life that he’s no longer in control of even the one thing that makes him feel grounded. The old scars and fresh wounds are getting harder to hide. Even on his inked skin, raised bumps and sensitive bruises are easy to find when his boyfriend spends all of his time roaming his hands gently over his body.

But Em can’t find out. Colson refuses to let him. He’d think Colson is pathetic (he is). He’d be disgusted by him (he should be). He’d hate him (but he couldn’t hate him more than Colson hates himself).

He tries not to hurt himself around Em because of this, but sometimes it’s unavoidable. Sometimes he needs it.

Colson sneaks out of bed one night at Em’s place while his boyfriend is sleeping. On his way out, he grabs his small bag that has just a few of the items he uses to hurt himself. His fingers shake around the bag and his breath quickens in his chest.

Ain’t it funny that the shame he feels from doing this just makes him want to do it more?

When he makes it to a bathroom far enough away from Em’s room that he doubts he would make the effort to find him all the way down here, he lays the bag on the counter and opens it up.

This hadn’t started with the razor blades and lighters he keeps in the bag. He’s worked himself here from pulling out his leg hair and scratching his own arms raw just to feel the sting. The older and more well known he got, the more out of control he felt, and from there he made the jump from nervous ticks to genuine self harm.

He used to starve himself, too. He thinks back to only a couple of years ago and picks up the lighter. He could go days without eating, even while on tour. There were times where he’d pass out after shows from the hunger, but he’d write it off to others as exhaustion. That had been one of the most pleasing ways to hurt himself. The gentle build up to physical depletion to match what he felt emotionally was fulfilling in a way he couldn’t possibly explain to anyone.

And that’s why he stopped. Em started to catch on. He started to ask questions no one had asked before. He was obsessed with feeding Colson and keeping him healthy.

Colson started eating regularly because Em would’ve hated to know his not eating wasn’t just absent-minded forgetting. He would’ve been so disappointed to find out it was deliberate starvation. Colson didn’t want to disappoint Em.

He still doesn’t. Colson puts the lighter on the counter and takes out one of his blades, too. Em would hate to see this. He wouldn’t understand.

Inhaling shakily through his nose, Colson looks between his two options for tonight. He leaves the blade on the counter and picks up the lighter. Em is sure to notice if he has a fresh cut. A burn is easier to hide.

He flicks the lighter to life and is deciding where to hold it on his body when he hears the first knock.

“Kells.” Shit. He loosens his grip on the lighter and the flame goes out.

What is Em doing out of bed, and what the fuck is he doing down here?

“Kells,” Em tries again, “You good?”

“I’m fine.” He lies.

“Are you fucking smoking in there?” Outside, Em’s voice grows suspicious. He heard the lighter go on and now he thinks Colson is smoking weed in his bathroom. That would be easier to explain.

After too long of a pause he says, “No.”

Em doesn’t give a warning before he throws open the bathroom door. Colson wants to knock his head into the mirror for not thinking to lock it. He dives for the blade on the counter, but Em is staring right at it.

“What the fuck?” Em looks between Colson and the counter multiple times. It’s a stupid overdramatic response, but he wants to slit his fucking wrists from that look.

Em’s brow furrows. Colson feels sick to his stomach. Em is pissed at him. He’s disgusted by him. He doesn’t know whether to throw him out or call a mental hospital. He hates him. He must be so angry.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to find out. I was trying to hide it. I shouldn’t have done it here. I know it’s fucking sick. I know it’s fucking crazy to cut and burn myself, I know but I...” Excuses and apologies trip over each other running off of his tongue.

“You’re cutting yourself?” Em interrupts him. His intense gaze sweeps over Colson. He’s not disgusted or angry like he’d thought. He’s shocked, confused, and even a bit hurt.

“I... yeah.”

“Why?” A loaded question like that shoots Colson right through the chest. Why? He can hardly answer the question to himself, how is he supposed to explain it to Em?

Em said it himself, he was just clownin’ when talking about cutting himself, how fucked up does someone have to be to actually do that? Colson doesn’t want to explain to Em how fucked up he is.

When he doesn’t answer, Em looks back down at the blade and then at the lighter still in his hand. Kells sees the thousands of things he wants to say and the million questions he wants to ask in his eyes. Finally his eyes set, and Kells braces himself for the next thing to come out of Em’s mouth.

“Don’t do that shit tonight, yeah? Just come back to bed.” The response shocks Colson even more silent than he’d been. Does he still want to know why, or is he just dropping it?

As if reading his mind, Em shrugs, “You can tell me why when you’re ready. Tonight, I just want to cuddle your ass.” He holds out his hand to Colson and laces their fingers together tightly when he grabs on. Em tugs him gently out of the bathroom and down the hall back to his room. Colson leaves the lighter and the blade on the counter.

When they’re back in bed, Em holds him differently than he has before, His arm feels weighted, it presses Colson gently down into the bed, unable to move from the hold. Em holds him from behind protectively and breathes into Colson’s neck. It’s so close it’s almost claustrophobic, but Colson wouldn’t pull away from it even if he could. The urge to hurt himself is immediately replaced by the need to burrow in closer to Em’s grounding touch.

He falls asleep easily, letting the last of his shame and fear at Em’s reaction leave his body without a fight.

In the morning, he goes to clean his stuff up in the bathroom, or to throw it away, but not to use it. When he gets there, the bag, the razor, and the lighter are nowhere to be found. Instead of being anxious at the loss, he feels a bit calmed by it.

This isn’t the end. He won’t be able to stop hurting himself just because Em got rid of a few of his blades and one of his many designated lighters, but it is a start.

Em knows now, he’s looking out for it. And if the way he always acts toward him, from the making sure Colson is eating to the cuddle last night is any indication, he’ll be there when Colson needs it. He’ll take care of him.

#Anonymous #emgk #zwowfic #kind of a rushed ending #but i hope u liked it bebs #also like askbox nd messages are always open for those who wanna talk #tw: self harm

16 notes · View notes

ruby-whistler · 3 years

Text

info taken from the research conducted by @/tower-of-deceit, all recorded responses were and remain anonymous. just some psychoanalysis of the fandom’s opinion on c!dream, since i ran through all the answers to one specific question and picked up some interesting patterns. (link to original post) /dsmp /rp

people who don't like c!dream have said these things about c!dream enthusiasts in the survey (enthusiasts being apologists, sympathizers, and enjoyers, they didn't use these terms but it was easy to sort either way). picked up some rough stats and intriguing responses based on reading every single entry on the sheet.

90% "enjoyers are ok, apologists aren't"

3% "enjoyers are ok, sympathizers and apologists aren't"

2% "don't care, to each their own"

2% "i don't understand c!dream sympathizers"

2% "i like sympathizers' analyses"

1% "apologists are ok"

that three percent interestingly enough seems to display a rather large bias.“He was always a villain … claiming that characters like Wilbur and Tommy made him a villain … It's these people I can't stand.” "the second you say he's misunderstood or the real victim or that wilbur...is the real manipulator..." this is very biased and not based on objective evidence. c!wil's not ‘the real manipulator’ whatever that is, but he did manipulate c!dream into becoming a villain, (courtesy of cc!wilbur being a genius writer and actor) setting the trend for how c!dream would act later on. another person said. "people who excuse his actions or try to say that the others ‘turned him into’ a villain are where it crosses a line." there is evidence c!dream was in fact turned into a villain. he was a misunderstood good guy shifting towards morally grey up until the 16th when he snapped full villain mode. this fall from grace was in no way his own choice, and he was villainized for long beforehand.

it is interesting to me that people deny proof because they feel such strong negative emotion against this character. "i respect their opinions as long as they dont sympathize w him or think he's morally correct." is another one of the clear anti-sympathizer anti-apologist ones. "why though? he has no backstory ... he wants power and complete control and there are no established plot reasons for him to want [one big happy family]." "theres a lot of mystery surrounding him and i can see how it would be fun to theorize abt him and stuff. but i dont trust sympathizers lol" people are strongly misinformed about c!dream, either unintentionally or intentionally, which i find interesting.

“if you unironically call yourself a dream apologist / sympathiser??? get well soon” "if you like him bc u think he can be redeemed/he's not a bad person ... get help" “that’s fine lol but also are you okay ?? do u need someone to talk to ???? is everything alright ????” honestly, all of the people saying c!dream sympathizers need help reminds me of jawsh’s statement that all stans are mentally ill. that’s an (insensitive) insult, not an argument.

"I strongly encourage those who like him to get some therapy" i actually was at my therapist's yesterday and she said liking fictional characters is a-ok. your point?

most of the people who are confused honestly just don't seem to have the information about the character's actual arc, which i think says a lot about the fandom. "i am confused, he's almost irredeemably evil" "I don’t really know why you’d like c!Dream ... he’s not exactly meant to be super sympathetic" "I’m confused by people who see him as sympathetic. He’s only ever done people wrong and doesn’t regret any of it." “I wish they had more of his reasoning to base their sympathy on” “I simply dislike the debates on morality, whos good or bad, where the question often is ‘is dream really that bad?’ Or ‘could there be a way he is justified in this?’ and the sympathy to him where he clearly shouldnt get any.” “????? I would say its because hes a jerk but people who really like him dont really seem to think of him as a jerk so im really not sure” so many people have no idea about the actual character or the enthusiasts’ reasoning, it’s honestly kind of sad.

reponses like “they’re wrong” and “they’re crazy” genuinely cracked me up the first time i read them, sure buddy-

either way, you’re allowed to feel uncomfortable around or dislike c!dream. it’s just the harassment c!dream enthusiasts face (proven by this research) and well, it does grind my gears a little when well-written characters get misunderstood, i must admit.

either way, have a nice day,

- ruby

#c!dream sympathetic #anti c!dream #mention #dsmpblr #dream smp #/dsmp #/rp #dsmp #roleplay #c!wilbur critical #c!dream #c!dream mention #dsmp fandom #dsmp fandom analysis #c!wilbur #apologism mention

17 notes · View notes

night-dragon937 · 3 years

Note

Sorry i accidently Unfollowed trying to hit the ask button: Im a little anxious about this but, I want to know how best to refer to you/yall? I know, the basics of DID and im sorry if this just, comes off as wrong/bad, but im, assuming that DID is specific to each system (I think im using that term right? im sorry if im not) and i just want to know how best to, like. avoid making you feel bad/wrong? (like, im anxious about referring to you as, you or do i need to refer to you as, like. them? or yall?, because i think all of you is valid and great and deserves respect? individually and as a whole?) and i saw the post where like, people think the Host (I am so sorry if i am messing up these terms) is more valid then the others, and that made me sad because, I think everyone is valid? and its like, i dont want to refer to you as the wrong thing (eg: a singular person, incase that strips away the importance of being known?, or as multiple, incase that invalidates?) like, im sorry if any of this comes off as tone deaf. i also got anxious about asking because, I dont want it to seem like the first thing i think about is, this? when interacting, but its why i get really nervous about using you/yall? not that anything was done to make me feel like that, i just want to be respectful? I also dont want to ask tons of questions cause, i know what it feels like to be bombarded with questions about something like this and being treated less like a person, more like a thing to gawk at i guess? like, ive done my best to read up on DID to, better try to understand, but if its unique to each person, I dont want to generalize it? I also am trying not to refer to this as a disability? as im not sure if its, ok to? because it just felt, strange, referring to, what to me seems like a Group of people? as a disability? Im sorry if thats, incorrect or wrong, or even ableist? im genuinely not trying to be. I just, think its important to give everyone individuality and importance? and if you all ? are, different people with their own personalities (if im, understanding that right, i know its possibly different from one person to another?) Then i want to respect that to the best of my ablity? Sorry for all of the rambling and if this is too much a wall of text. im also extremely sorry if anything ive said/done in our interactions, or this ask were offensive? Its alright if you dont want to answer this of course, or if any of this was too personal/touchy, im not gonna get upset or anything and thats completely fair ? I honestly second guessed asking, but figured i needed to before i accidently messed up and said something wrong?

hey no need to apologize! we are willing to answer questions about our experiences with did/plurality! (in fact, it's nice when singlets/non-systems ask questions when they're unsure bc it shows that they care about respect n stuff)

each system's experience with their diagnosis is unique, yes! we have did, but there are various types of osdd that are diagnoses for systems as well

we have what's called a singletsona, essentially a "sona" that's a single person. we mostly have this irl for safety reasons, but we also understand that a constantly changing roster of many people can be confusing esp for neurodivergent people. so, generally, we go by night (cause we're the night system lol it fits perfectly!) and use they/them.

some people do want to interact with us individually (like. maybe four singlets so don't feel bad if you'd rather just interact with us as a whole, but we will let you know if we switch or about alter-specific things) and they refer to us either by who's fronting or by "night sys" or "night system" and refer to us with plural pronouns

you're so very sweet <3

so that refers to people who act as if the body belongs to the host and no one else in the system, the life belongs to the host and other alters shouldn't get as much of a say, or as if other alters aren't really people, like the host is.

you're not being tone deaf at all! even if you were, we'd still be willing to provide info

so, referring to a system depends on a few things. if you're referring to a singletsona, then singular pronouns/preferred pronouns. if you're referring to a single alter, then singular, but if you mean the whole system, then plural. also, if you feel weird about using "you," just know that you was originally a plural pronoun (but has changed in meaning and usage, like they! and thou was the singular)

we're generally pretty understanding and won't get offended unless one is being intentionally malicious (understanding what one is doing, what the affects of the actions are, and still choosing to do it)

we don't know enough to comment on osdd but did is absolutely 100% a disability because this impacts every aspect of our lives, for several reasons. there's the obvious sharing every life decision with a multitude of others with their own personalities and opinions, but did is a trauma based disorder and thus has a lot of symptoms of trauma. did is usually concurrent with ptsd and c-ptsd, and often others. this is bc dissociation is a learned (unhealthy) coping mechanism where we put ourselves literally anywhere but the physical present rw to avoid trauma at a young age, which impacts development of the personality (talking specifically about did). did is... so much more than having brain friends, its freaking out bc someone used a specific tone of voice even if it's not meant maliciously. it's coming to front and having no clue where you are or what's going on. it's being held accountable for actions you have no memory of (and are often out of character). it's often dealing with depression, anxiety, flashbacks, anxiety attacks... you get the point lol

the group of people isn't the disability, it's how traumagenic systems form that cause them to be disabilities, and how that affects daily life. that sounds contradictory. it's... not that any specific alter is debilitating, but the cause of the condition (trauma) and the effects of the condition (dissociative amnesia, etc) that make it a disability. does that make sense?

and you've been nothing but respectful! but thank you for checking, it means a lot to us, truly.

feel free to send more asks/reply to this if you have any more questions or need any clarifications in regards to this (we've been awake for far too many hours lol). also we love talking about our system and info dumping about our diagnosis/diabilities lol

6 notes · View notes

troddensodden · 3 years

Note

Physical Features OC Ask Game !! 👁 What is your OC’s eye color? Do they have any eye-related habits, like winking or rubbing their eyes? Do other people tend to notice their eyes? 💇 What is your OC’s hairstyle? How do they maintain their hair? Do they wash it and/or cut it regularly? Have they ever dyed their hair? 👖 What type of clothing does your OC generally wear? Why? Do they have any “signature” accessories?

since its the only ask i have so far, im gonna answer each of these for all three of my current ocs :D hope thats okay!

cedric: fallout 4 || alistair: fallout 4 || emil: fallout new vegas

eyes—

-cedric: blue-green eyes! however he actually only has one, in a sense, because a bomb once blew up close enough to his face that it burned the skin, and damaged his left eye enough that he went blind in it. he tried to take care of the injury, but the commonwealth doesnt exactly have many medicine or skincare products. it ended up getting a pretty gnarly infection, which only made it worse after scarring. so now, he wears an eyepatch over it! he regularly wears a gas mask out in the wasteland, mostly for radiation protection but partially because he is somewhat insecure about his eye, and the look of the skin around it. when he isnt wearing one though, people do definitely notice his eyes for that reason, more than anything else. he doesnt have any particular habits, other than consistently wearing an eye covering.

-alistair: his eyes arent anything particularly special, really. just a plain dark brown, dark enough to look black from a distance. he doesnt have any specific habits, per se, as he is a synth and thats not necessarily in his program. however, if hes close enough with someone, he will make a fair amount of (bad) jokes or comments and accentuate them with a wink or an eyebrow raise. also, when hes frustrated he sometimes will rub his eyes with his palms, or do long drawn out blinks and eyerolls. his eyes arent all that notable though, so people dont take much notice of them often, outside of their expressiveness.

-emil: a sort of grey, green, hazel, blue, combination? really, they dont seem to have much of a set eye-color. its hard to determine. so on the occasion that someone asks, theyll give a different answer every time, sometimes answering with a color that is definitely not even close to the actual color. furthermore, theyre quite the mischievous and flirtatious type in some cases, so winking is something they do quite often, and are able to do with either eye. other times, theyll look someone up and down when facing them, but with an absent expression that makes it hard to tell whether theyre checking the person out or sizing them up. their eyes dont get noticed often because again, they arent anything particularly special, but when in a relationship, they do find that partners seem to take a particular interest toward the confusing matter of their eyes, specifically the color.

——

hair—

c: pre-war, he kept his hair relatively well-managed, a tidy crop with maybe a bit more length than the "average" mens cut. post-war, however, he frankly sees getting his hair done as too much effort, only occasionally stopping for a trim and otherwise letting it grow out, and tying it up if it gets in the way. his boyfriends quite fancy this, liking to play with it when they spend time together. maccready, on occasion, will even braid it if hes stressed or in a bad mood, as a way of calming himself down. (when he does this, cedric tries to keep the braid in as long as possible.) washing hair isnt necessarily easy, in a world where even just clean water itself is in short supply, let alone soap. however, he does try his best to clean it when he can, because he doesnt like the feeling of dirty hair. he also has never dyed his hair, because hes always been content with his natural brown color, even if its a bit "plain."

a: he keeps his hair close to a stubble, consistently. his hair doesnt grow very rapidly, but still, he will likely be seen getting his hair cut every couple weeks to keep it from growing out. he likes looking put together, and will rarely ever be caught genuinely dirty. any chance he gets to clean himself, he will, and any time he needs a haircut, you can bet he'll be on his way to the nearest place that offers it. he refuses to dye his hair, saying that it creates a look of unprofessionalism, (and hair dye doesnt go well over black usually.) nobody really understands why hes so insistent on looking put-together and professional all the time, but they accept it, even if he sometimes takes more time to get ready in the mornings than anyone else.

e: shaved on one side, long on the other. its also naturally got a bit of curl, which adds volume so it doesnt get too flat and stringy when it goes unwashed. they dont wash their hair as obsessively as alistair, though they will do a quick clean if they get the time. they dont particularly like the idea of using irradiated water to clean off, but its that or use purified water which is in relatively short supply. however, foraging is a bit of a strong point for them, so they will use natural supplies for cleaning off if possible, from plants and such. keeping hair maintained is hard in a relatively desolate area like the mojave, but whenever they find scissors and some free time theyll do a trim. scissors arent exactly a match for a nice set of clippers, but you learn to make do. they have dyed their hair with some temporary colors before, but never anything permanent—they actually quite like their natural gingery-blond color.

——

clothes—

c: whatever will protect him while also being comfortable enough that he can tolerate him with his sensory issues. however, in situations where he needs to looks somewhat "official," he will wear his minutemen-issued jacket over a decent shirt and pants set. however, he will rarely ever be seen without some sort of mask, unless the situation happens to be one where a gasmask or something similar would be improper. even then, the eyepatch stays on. so id say the eyepatch is somewhat a "staple" of his wardrobe, though its less of a fashion choice and more of what he deems a necessity.

a: if possible, he would regularly wear a button-down and pants that match. however, in an irradiated post-war wasteland, with hostiles around every corner, thats not a particularly feasible option; thus, he wears whatever is available that is in good condition but also effective. effectiveness is his priority, of course, but it does frustrate him if his clothing doesnt at least look decent. people see him as a bit of a pansy for it, but when he was in the institute, he was used to wearing a uniform that was focused on looking clean rather than being highly functional. so after escaping, that stuck with him a bit. he does, however, have an accessory he refuses to be without, and thats his and noras wedding ring. even after forming new relationships and finding a new purpose in the world, its impossible to move on from someone who was his whole world, what feels like only a few months ago.

e: emil most definitely prioritizes function over fashion. appearance is important, sure, but they recognize that it definitely is not the most important, when youre traveling across a hot desert full of giant scorpions and gang members. however, one thing that they always have, whether theyre wearing it or just has it in their pack, is this one puffy jacket, with a fur-lined hood. they found it in the dresser of a destroyed house they were scavenging through, and it somehow was in near-mint condition. the reason it was so special to them, though, is because it had a note in the pocket, from a girl to her older sibling. the girl being emils sister, who moved away with their father after their parents got divorced. the letter was addressed from her to them, but was never sent. and sure, while they knew that this almost definitely confirmed she had died, they were just happy enough having something from her. so they never go without the jacket, even though its warm (and a bit heavy.) impractical, but sentimental.

#can you tell cedric is a self insert #i think its obvious #oops #anyway!#fallout #fallout 4 #fo4 #fallout new vegas #fallout nv #fnv #oc ask #fallout oc #also note i did not proofread this so there mayyyy be typose #typos** im not rewriting taht

6 notes · View notes

sukirichi · 3 years

Text

[ BROKEN RECORDS ; asks ]

💌 — love letter from @kyriaan

from track 007.

Okay okay im still kinda meh'ish' but i really wanted to answer you so 😭 ill try to compile both my answer to your answer on my love letter and my hyped review on track 7 <3 so yeah another long ass rant from me 😩💕Suki... Suki pls I totally forgot Tsumu had a crush on us Suki... And then poor Tsumu ir there sulking cause he still likes u- JFBFBDVDVSJCHDHSIA omfg i wanted so much to hug him my baby I like him so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he was trying so hard to behave while just sitting there sad fhfhfvbbshsjfhbdjaofhffhsoshd TSUMU YOU'RE STILL IN MY TOP 3 BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

And then you throw the whole dancing scene with suna and I dont know whos on my top 3 anymore 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 SUKIIIIIIII THAT SCENE ALONE GJGJBFBSJCNFNKSOSNF OMFG IM FALLING SO HARD FOR SUNA I THINK? I think my top 3 had 4 dudes in it cause 3rd place has Suna and Atsumu tied?? Hfhfbfbfhdhsja I CANT PICK?? BUT BUT I WAS FEELING STUPIDLY DOWN WHEN READING THAT AND THAT SCENE ALONE MADE ME FEEL SO SOFT IT WAS SO CUTE AND OMG IF SUNA DID THAT TO ME I WOULD DROP ON MY KNEES AND ASK HIM TO MARRY ME CAUSE OMFGGGFFFF DUDE EVEN WENT AHEAD AND SAID THAT WHOLE 'HES GOING TO BE ONE LUCKY GUY'

Oh shit im crying again that scene lets me emotional 😭😭😭😭 someone get me a sunrin irl pls

Anyways the way that suna knows y/n is just.... FUCKING END UP TOGETHER ALREADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST JBVSHSJBEHSISJ

Also how powerful are we?? HOW FUCKING POWERFUL ARE WE TO SCORE SUNA KITA AND TSUMU?? ARE YOU GONNA TELL. ME IF OIKAWA MOFO TOORU APPEARED HE WOULD ALSO BE ON HIS KNEES FOR US?? (okay no wait... No nooo i would legit drop anyones ass for tooru hes that powerful for me like sorry suna was fun but TOORU)

Yo nah but the whole Kita sex scene- let me breath bestie LET ME BREATH CAUSE I WAS HOT BUT AT SAME TIME I WAS FEELING GUILTY 😂😂😂😂 ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS FEELING DISAPPOINTED NEXT DAY LIKE KITA PLS BABY WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?? 😬😬😬😬 But at same time his 'ill fuck the thought of him out of you tonight' I ALMOST MOANED YASSSSS TELL ME DADDY HOLY SHITTTTT

👀👀👀👀 Still not a kita simp ✌️✌️🤏✌️

Okay Kita deserves the best tho I mean okay he went there as a y/n mom's plan but he did ended up helping alot... Especially cause he knows no matter what y/n heart will always be suna's and pls give Kita the best ending possible cause he deserves someone who will trully love him and show him the world cause mah boy deserves it

*breaths in breaths out* i hated this scene- not in a bad way but shit i hate rejections... To the point im kinda afraid of confessing now cause i despise the feeling of being rejected... The best i can descrive it it like this coldness in your chest that descends your whole body and then you feel frozen in place.. Thats how it feels for me I hate it I absolutely despise it- its also the feeling i have when in a really bad situation and ugh...

The suna part made. Me feel this no matter how many times i reread it the feeling doesnt lessen it keeps being there cause (okay you probably are tired already of me saying this but) Suki I feel like I cant put it in words how much of a fucking good of a writer you are. Ill go ahead and say you are by far my favorite writer the fact i always feel so engaged and the fact i always feel like im there its just- it blows my mind.

I felt like suna was personally rejecting me and i hated it- i swear the moment he said prove it I almost screamed HOW? My brain had to take a moment to just slap me and say: 'kya you reading this is not happening chill-' cause i was already sobbing uncontrollably... I even whimpered the dont leave me 😬 my sadass went to bed feeling so sad thanks to suna... Man i wanted so much to hug him and i swear i would give him as much love as he gave y/n cause well i kin suna alot in this series cause im like that im a giver i treat others the way i would like to be treated (reason why ive been down lately ✌️) and i cant blame suna for finally setting boundaries- his call tho 'do i not stand a chance with you anymore y/n? Are you really not capable of falling in love with me?".... Oh suna... We are in love with you.. We always were we're just fucking stupid 😩

Also mari pls go jump off a cliff <3 youre in need dear cause sleeping with other man just to separate suna and y/n <3 i want so much to punch her 🙂🙃

Now for the love letter part (im so sorry for this being so long ✌️)

You said that if we asked suna he woukd say that he genuinely loved mari okay... Ill go ahead and say yes he liked mari he even learned how to love her and he genuinely cared for her BUT and heres where my personal view comes in so maybe ill be biased here still for me that was just a he loves her as in he cares you also love your friends and care for them but he didnt love her- and by this I mean- he could never be fully committed for her. Yes he loved her and he felt happy with her but like track 7 proved everything he would do in the back of his mind was y/n he deeply wished Mari was her and for that he just loved Mari cause he learned how to care about her- but he never forgot who he trully was in love it. Also the happiness he experienced with Mari was pretty much the one I experienced the bliss of having someone there and that bliss also made suna turn a blind eye to all the red flags from Mari cause to him all the jealousy meant she cared and thats toxic but suna was so desperate for some sort of 'she cares' that even all the possessiveness was bliss for him... And that makes my heart clench for suna...

'suna had to put an effort for the relationship' and saddly i feel like mari didnt... Mari didnt care mari was there because she was a fangirl of suna and got lucky, the way she just discarded him so effortlessly that proved-screamed how much she loved him- she didnt. She was just possessive over him she liked the whole 'hes mine' dynamic and suna was the perfect boyfriend cause he was giving her the world... What he wanted someone to do for him.

Also yeah suna and y/n might have been spurred from them being fuck buddies but well love doesnt really have an agenda- they just clicked, understood each other and had chemistry yeah they had tons and tons of sex but feelings started not because of sex but thanks to their deep connection... Also that dsncing scene in track 7 that alone spoke for their whole relationship- that alone is enough to defend their feelings for each other- yes it might jave started just as fuck buddies but ended up in them loving each other deeply and that is enough love after all doesnt need a perfect start. It can start out of the most stupid ways.

You said life with excitement and fun wouldn't be permanent or real.. Honestly i think it could be.. Cause i mean when you love someone that deeply your life always feels exciting even with the littlest things and that the purest kind of love. Even just going for a walk at the beach would be fun for them or even staying up watching movies i believe suna and y/n would always find a way to make their lofe exciting without much effort.

Also it kinda makes me. Sad when i see some anon saying that y/n and suna relationship are toxic? It makes me. Confused maybe because I was in such extremely toxic one (girl i sweat if you search for toxic relationship my ex's face will be there as an example 🙄) that Mari to me screams toxic! Possessive, manipulative, jealous and a few more if I think closely about it while with y/n and suna they are just two idiots that are hurting each other cause they're just that: idiots one that is afraid to get hurt and the other that keeps hoping- dont get me wrong what they're doing is not healthy but i dont find it toxic honestly

Sorry for the extreme long rant 8D I tried to keep it short but you always make me so hyped to talk about your works 😩

Hfbfbfhfhfieia

[ from saeren ]

NAHHH CUZ I LOVE TSUMU SO MUCH HERE HE WAS SO PRECIOUS. I didn’t write too much about them in college but Atsumu was so cute when he crushed on YN. he was always sending her memes and cute texts like “have you eaten” “good morning” and she’d feel so awkward because she doesn’t know how to let him down easy without hurting him. either way tsumu would feel hurt. AND YES PLS HE WAS SO SAD I MEAN, HIS CRUSH AND HIS BEST FRIEND NEARLY HAD SEX RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM SO THAT’S GOING TO HURT

SUNA AND ATSUMU TIED?? tbh I loved that dancing scene bcos suna is one of my faves and I really wanna do that with him hehehhehe. NAHHH PLEASE SAME IF SUNA DANCED WITH ME AND MADE A WEDDING PLAYLIST I’D BE LIKE boy what’re u waiting for let’s get married now !! n yes he said whoever YN will choose in the future will be one lucky guy IM SOBBING RN

naur cuz. there’s something about dating your best friend. I’m not saying a boyfriend wouldn’t know you as well but there’s something different when you’re best friends first. they could literally share eye contact and have a long ass conversation just from that. their connection is different.

HAJKALA AS FOR THE POWER, BR! YN IS A VERY CHARISMATIC AND FRIENDLY PERSON !! she’s like one of those people you meet that not only are they attractive as hell, but they’re also super approachable and down to earth. that’s why she’s so popular + she’s flirty and can make a stranger feel welcome or comfortable in the first meeting. SGSHJAK I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING TO ADD OIKAWA HERE BUT I WANNA MAKE IT MORE INARIZAKI CENTRED

the seggs scene with kita SOBSSSS he’s such a soft dom IDC he knows where the clit is, he knows how to hit it. he’s a “your pleasure first before mine” type of guy. kita is perfect, PERIODT. HE GIVES DADDY VIBES HUH AHSKAA HE’S SO SWEET YET SEXY IM IN LOVE WITH HIM ISTG IF SUNA WASN’T OUR BEST FRIEND THEN I’D RUN FOR KITA ALL THE TIME. and I agree, kita deserves the best !! and don’t worry, I actually plan on giving kita the best ending, I promise you he’ll be fine (slight spoiler there)

YESSSSS OMG I’VE BEEN REJECTED BEFORE AND THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I FELT, MY BODY WAS SO COLD AND I WAS SO CONFUSED LIKE IT MAKES YOU THINK. am I not good enough, did I do something wrong, do you not wanna give me a chance or try it out but ofc I’d never say that out loud. AND KYAAA AAAH IM YOUR FAVORITE WRITER??? NO CUZ YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY. I remember ur asks way back reckless era and you used to tell me that my writing made you picture the scenes easily and you felt you were there in that moment and I’m just so grateful thank you so much <33

NO BCOS WHEN SUNA SAID “prove it” I was like. this is it. that’s his hot boy shit moment. man’s has had enough of being thrown from one toxic relationship to another and he also deserves his good moments yknow. and you kin suna here?? BESTIE IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT, SUNA’S BEEN THROUGH A LOT HERE AHSJAKA. that’s true about suna tho !! he’s definitely affectionate + a giver. he’s happy being the one who gives most of the time but he’s a human as well, ofc he’d want to receive the same amount of love back. ALSO HIS PHONE CALLLLLL ugh tbh that part was the one that made me the saddest bcos he’s just. he wants to know if there’s really no more chance. all this time he never gave up. but he’s also tired so if yn says ‘no more’ then he’ll give up. its his way of respecting himself too ahsjaka

YOOOOO I AGREE WITH THAT. he cares for mari as a person but not 100% as a lover. but ofc he’s still thankful for how happy she made him because she was there at his worst. and that’s true, deep down suna still wishes that it was YN who’s right beside him. he will always ALWAYS want her back. he learned how to love mari in a way that was more out of mutual care but not in the way he loves YN. no that’s reserved only for YN – she will remain no 1 in his heart. AND YESSSSS the reason why suna overlooked the red flags was bcos to him, its something that was supposed to be “normal” like no perfect partner existed. he thought mari’s attitude of pushing YN away was normal, and its normal to want your partner’s best friend keep some distance but not to the point of mari’s place where she literally wants the two of them to cut each other out of their lives.

and aww I’m so happy that you realized how I wanted to portray suna and yn’s relationship. they’re….like the definition of youth in its freest form. they were fucking around and doing stupid things, but they had a connection. they had something deeper than just sexual intimacy. even if they never dated or even if YN never proposed the idea of it, they would’ve actually been still great friends. and oooh I actually don’t remember saying life with excitement and fun wouldn’t be real HAHAHAHA so I can’t comment further on that. but I think when I ‘said’ those I probably meant that it’s not always going to be all rainbows and unicorns in a relationship. there’s no such thing as a relationship that’s always happy and sweet 24/7, but ofc it can be sweet and it can be pure even with the little things <33 they just need to work on it.

hmmm tbhhhh… suna and yn are toxic in a way that they refuse to let each other go when they clearly can’t meet halfway. toxic doesn’t have to be limited in just being mari-like in which they are possessive or manipulative, because then if we’d drive deeper into yn’s personality, then she’d be stringing suna all along and that’s unfair of her. she knows suna wants more and yet she remained being friends with him, which totally isn’t a bad thing, but it’s because she keeps flirting with him and is so romantically comfortable with him that she doesn’t realize it’s hurting suna because he’ll give double meanings to that. their relationship is ‘toxic’ because they’re not entirely good for each other, they’re not that ready to be with one another yet and neither is the world letting them be in peace, so forcing their relationship to a point they’re hurting another is the toxic part.

[ from @kyriaan ]

Ah also not me feeling all proud and mushy cause my analysis made you mind blown fjfbdnsjdkpa 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I guess its also because i see this story as a really big mirror of my own toxic relationship sonits extremely easy for me to get it... And oh boy the way i kin suna here

But dhdhfjdospdhfbsoa 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i feel happy now *huggles*

[ from saeren ]

and aah yes ofc, I’m really happy whenever someone can see the underlying details I scatter throughout the story !! yeah omg same hahahaha broken records is also half inspired by the toxic people I’ve met. I kin kita here tho and I’m so glad you’re happier now !!

#asks with naoya's trophy wife #series ( broken records )#tw: toxic

5 notes · View notes

harrystylescherry · 3 years

Note

I’ve been noticing this trend of a bunch of harries ignoring the whole Palestine crisis. Why is that? (Like I’m genuinely curious cuz I’m new to Harry stuff but have some family from Palestine) & like I follow a bunch of Harry blogs, and FOR sure NO ONE is obligated to speak about it but like why is there a MASS of harries literally not acknowledging it?? Is it cuz of the Harry Zionist thing? Like is that Zionism rumor actually true? I know he’s close to Ben Winston who’s pro Israel but ?? (I don’t mean this to come off all interrogatory or anything I’m genuinely curious why it’s being ignored by majority of the fandom)

Theres a difference between us ignoring the issue and feeling that we’re not educated enough to speak on it—for me its the latter. You say you’re not trying to, but you are making the assumption that we dont care or that the absolutely baseless rumors about harry being a zionist are true—and theyre not.

Ive been trying to educate myself the past few months and im still confused because there is so much propaganda surrounding the issue and i find it extremely difficult to sort through on my own.

Also, idk who you follow, but theres been a lot of palestine posts on my own dash, so i wouldnt say its a MASS of harries—its just who you follow. You said you dont mean to come off interrogatory, but you do. Also, we are not activists lol so we DONT have any obligation like you said—even tho you said that and demand an answer as to why no ones posting about it. Why are you looking to us anyway? And just because people arent posting about it here, doesnt mean they arent posting about it on their personal social medias.

Personally, im taking the time to read articles and try to educate myself. Im pro-palestine, but thats only a new development for me because its taken me SO long to SEE and FIND OUT what is actually going on over there because the information ive been getting has been so muddled (before i wasnt on either side, i was just extremely confused). But i havent posted because i literally know the BARE MINIMUM and i dont want to post something misinformed. I think you need to give people the chance to learn and make their own decisions. Just because someone hasnt posted, it doesnt mean they dont care or are a zionist—and a lot of people need to stop automatically assuming that.

#im not entertaining this conversation any further #dont make me turn my asks off

3 notes · View notes

matoitech · 3 years

Note

hello u dont have to answer this if u dont want, but ur situation with gender is scarily similar to where im at except im in the mindset that im nb wlw and dont rlly kno whats going on. I guess if u kno how to explain it, I wanted to ask how u made that jump or how u could tell it isnt just a "womanhood is like that" kind of thing and is actually "i am a guy"

oh man i wish i had smth that would make it Click for u easier cuz i def understand being rly confused abt this kinda thing.. i got a few Thoughts, idk if they will help u out but hopefully they give u some more thoughts to chew on that will maybe help anyway. this got so long oh hell sorry gbfhg

i think like the main thing as like a tip b4 we get in2 the Meat of it is it is good to relax and b open to thinking abt bein a guy as a possibility, i dont know if this will make sense bc i do not know how to explain it rly but when i was struggling 2 figure stuff out what i had rly needed 2 know was that being a dif gender can just feel like You (but as u become more comfortable w it, you but happier!) for some reason i thought u had to meet certain criteria to b ‘allowed’ to make what seemed 2 me at the time a Leap but thats not how it works lol. u as u r right now can b a guy if u want to or r considering it. u dont have to feel different and u dont have to think abt ur body a different way or anything. sry if this part doesnt make sense its difficult for me to verbalize lol

it was hard for me personally bc ppl would b like ‘if u Want to b a dif gender than b one’ but like i said in those last posts, for a long time i genuinely did not know i Wanted to be a guy/was a guy, or whatever. i had no conscious longing about it or anything, that came later once i was more comfortable w accepting it. i didnt have ‘i want to be a boy/am a boy’ moments i can rly consciously remember putting into those words as a kid, cuz i just did not care about gender on that level till i was a teenager. like i cannot stress this enough, ur life and feelings abt gender n whatever do not have to match up with what u have commonly heard the trans experience is about. once u figure stuff out and r more comfortable w urself u may look back and notice things that may b like that common trans experience, but remembering this stuff or having these childhood experiences or whatever in the first place is not a ‘requirement’. like i said, no requirements for bein a dif gender

for me like.. knowing it for sure... making the Jump as it were. like its kinda embarrassing but literally the way i Found Out was i was feeling all sorts of things whenever i watched promare and i just felt this INTENSE longing whenever i saw galo that i later realized was just me rly feeling the Gender w him and being envious of that.. it had happened w other chars b4 growing up, but i had never rly noticed to that extent till now. and one night i was thinking my usual ‘i wish i looked like galo i wish i could be a guy’ maybe for the first time in like a Conscious thought, when i had never rly heard it in words b4, and i kinda stopped and was like. what? i WHAT? and then it clicked and it was like a euphoric moment for me. easily top 5 best 2 ams of my life. it is kind of a hyperspecific experience but it is also not UNCOMMON rly lol

also figuring out my sexuality was intertwined in that bc i was iding as a butch nonbinary lesbian and i had tossed the idea of ‘maybe id b more comfortable as a man’ around a bit but the idea of being a straight man didnt feel right 2 me, but luckily i kind of made the connection of wait im a man and im attracted to men at like the exact same time, it had to b both at once for me personally to figure it out and b happy about it. idk if thats smth going thru ur head at all but it was for me and was part of my Journey i guess and may help to think abt it a bit lol

and while yes its absolutely about what makes u more comfortable at the end of the day, i think it wouldve helped for me to hear ppl say that just bc the idea of being a dif gender (in this case Man) might make u feel confused and maybe even uncomfortable rn, that doesnt necessarily mean u r not one if youve been struggling w this and wondering, it might just mean u havent had that clicky moment and r ready to rly think abt it yet. i have grown much more comfortable w myself over time as ive figured this stuff out and i am still open to figuring out more abt myself and i think thats a good place to b at! just b open to stuff like this that u maybe had never thought would have a positive effect on you or make you happier.

speaking from experience i think if ur confused and maybe even miserable telling urself that womanhood is just like that and u gotta suck it up and get used to feeling uncomfortable and bad, u dont have to live like that! im not saying that ‘oh im actually a guy’ is gonna b what everyone who is struggling w thats answer is cuz obviously thats not true- and im not saying how i just described it is even how u feel- but like. as someone who thought that same thing but less consciously. womanhood does not have to be a confusing sad experience, its not an inherently miserable experience, it is possible it just isnt for you and trying smth else might make u feel better. and that can b rly hard to figure out in the moment, cuz ur Used to feeling like this and even if youve heard it can b different it might b hard to have that ‘oh theyre talking to ME, it can be different for ME not just everyone else’ moment lol

also i dont know if this is relevant to u but im saying it in general 2 anyone who needs it i guess; being a man isnt a bad thing and it doesnt make u an inherently bad person, manhood and masculinity r not inherently or naturally toxic or something. thats a harmful mindset to have for multiple reasons and a whole nother post so im not gonna b like and now a word about transphobic red flags but like, worth mentioning that that can b harmful or dangerous to trans ppl, transmascs and transfems.

my god this got rly long... if anyone else has went thru a similar thing and has anything 2 add, feel free to :0 hope i somehow got around to answering ur question w all the rambling! i am just one guy and my experience may or may not b helpful to hear about, especially bc my memory is not the best lol <3 hope it helped at all tho!

#long post #NINE PARAGRAPHSSSS #fess replies #anon

7 notes · View notes