#im not adding any more commentary

[problemcore]

goodnight dear followers

#mcyt #hermitcraft #hc9 #grian #goodtimeswithscar #dnoodles #im not adding any more commentary #i wanted to put more effort into it but also its 1 am and im dead tired

[makncheese12]

IM SORRY ANON I LOST YOUR REQUEST TRYING TO MAKE IT😭 but here a request for Stu macher with a bad bitch who will smack a bitch and has anger issues (no ghost face, yet?)

(So cute for him🫶🏻)

Masterlist

Warning: I don’t know how to write about a bad bitch😀, bad writing?

(Gif is not mine)

Stu Macher x badbitch!fem!Reader

oh yes, the black cat to his pitbull/golden retriever

Absolutely in love with you first even if you clearly want him away from you, man won’t stop pursuing until he gets to you

Knows he’s winning you over when you smile and roll your eyes at him

man makes it his mission to see you happy, even when you hit him for being stupid or saying something stupid

of course you’d never hit him seriously, he knows that and laughs or fakes looking hurt everytime

laughs at every snarky comment you say to people and repeats your words

Man knows he has a bad bitch, he’ll see some guy staring and he’ll stick his tongue out and laugh to himself

Loves, loves, loves kissing you.

Don’t like being kissed in public? Alright, he’ll kiss your cheek any chance he can get let it be random, dropping you off to class, or when your upset, he’ll do it.

you never get into actual fights, you just ignore him whenever he’s being extra annoying

man gets so whiny when that happens because he wants your attention and doesn’t like it when you ignore him

will do everything in his power to get a reaction from you let it be a glare, a chest slap. hell, he’ll take a cuss out. As long as he gets a reaction

he’s not the jealous type, but he knows you are (maybe)

there was a random girl in the hall who was obviously flirting with Stu but he didn’t seem to really care nor notice but you did

if looks could kill, her head would be brutally beat into the ground as you stand right behind her

“baby!” He call out as he moves past her and opens his arms to you

he’d pick you up and squeeze you as you flick the girl off, maybe next time you get to yank her by that stupid blonde pony tail

loves when you’re anywhere near him, he just thrives off holding you by your waist

he’s constantly giving you attention and craves the attention from you which you happily give

constantly glaring at Billy waiting for the moment he says something that gives you an opening to punch him square in the nose

and boy does he do it a lot, you got one hit in once and that was the first time you heard him

he had a black eye for a week or two, Stu makes sure to always keep an arm on you just in case you decide it’s time again

Always making a kissy face at you, which you just pinch his lips and he gets pouty

Now you have to give him a kiss, doesn’t matter if you roll your eyes first just do it

loves when you where his clothes, makes him feel special

of course he has to get something too, so you give him your bracelets, necklace, ect.

Never loses anything you give him, he makes sure of it. And takes extra care of it because he knows you’ll be upset if he doesn’t or loses it

Plus, he loves the little things you give him

You can be hesitant at first to give it to him but once you see that he’s always wearing it or doesn’t lose it, you can give him more

cuddles, cuddles, cuddles

Loves cuddles, especially when he gets to lay on your chest and you rub his back, neck and head

That or he’ll lay his head in your lap when your with friends, at a party, or just because he can

Loves when you hold his arm/hand, makes him feel like a gentleman

You only know the soft side of Stu where he’s not as goofy and more so serious

He rants about a lot of things when you two are alone and he feels safe, and you’d gladly listen

He would of course listen to you rant as well, adding his own commentary

“*gasp* no! She didn’t!” “And then what happened?” “Did you hit her?”

Encourages you when you get into fights cause he thinks it’s both funny and hot

He’ll see you across the school yard on top of some random chick and he’s laughing his ass off with the biggest smile

“Look at her go!” “Bet your girlfriend can’t do that!”

Over all loves, trust and supports you through everything and would never change anything about you

Even if you hit him constantly but who knows, he most likely likes it🫶🏻

#dating Stu macher #scream #scream the original #stu macher #stu macher x reader #stu macher fic #ghost face #scream 1996 #stu macher x you #stu macher x y/n #slasher x you #slasher x reader #stu macher fan fic #Tara carpenter x reader #amber freeman x reader #sam carpenter x reader #billy loomis x reader #Jenna Ortega x reader

[beesmygod]

one webcomics trend I've noticed for a bit is comics where the creator casts a wide net and publishes to as many sites as possible, so like there's a tumblr mirror, a webtoons mirror, a tapas mirror, a twitter mirror, I've even seen one that has a tiktok mirror (god). Some of these even have the decency to actually have their own website

the idea was to cast the widest possible net in order to get the maximum audience possible, as this was the excuse for people using webtoons despite it sucking raw hot dogs but i dont understand how on earth this strategy could ever work lol

full lol i love to hear myself talk damn. fucking. subnormality webcomic behavior

anyway to highlight the uselessness of google analytics, these are my analytics arranged on "looker studio", a google product i guess they forgot about, in order to make sense of the useless shit they're showing me. you can see this enormous traffic spike from a traffic bot farm advertising their services by ruining your metrics. you can no longer filter these urls from your data.

full image

here's my google adsense conspiracy theory from me shedding light on why i think (STRONG EMPHASIS ON "THINK". IM HYPOTHESIZING) with commentary from someone who knows way more about the subject than my armchair observations.

my marketing strategy is to talk bullshit with people with similar interests while letting people know when my comic updates twice a week. if they want to read it, they can. they're not stupid, they don't need to be forced into reading it if they want to. i assume most of my readers are as broke as i am so i don't hound them to give me money they don't have. i'll never run ads again unless its like. for a friend's thing. hand-cultivated by me. im not looking for a wide audience, i'm looking for an audience of people who "get it" and can see an inherent value in what i create. if they have some spare cash, i make my barrier to entry on my patreon extremely low; 1 dollar a month and you can see things early and go through a backlog of author commentary and design stuff and rewards im sooo behind on im so sorry. im so sick i promise, im coming back!!! anyway i just want real human people to have a chance to see things and enjoy things without making it a fucking hassle, you know.

the most organic, actual traffic i got from my site is from a friend's webcomic that links to mine. 11 people read a lot of pages! that's genuinely making my head spin! that's great! i hope they liked it and will check in again. i love the comic they came from so they are clearly ppl of taste lol.

oh uh. and heres my comic lol. for any cantankerous gay old losers out there.

#doodles #bearart #a ghost story #web comics #webcomics #webcomic

[kawarikisaki]

Okay! So with the new case finished up I'm ready to talk into the void about it.

Starting with the fact that this case has made me reevaluate how strong Hakuba is.

Cause I have always thought of him as being somewhat strong, but lo and behold he can just lift a whole Kaito and keep him on his shoulder for several minutes (it was six pages, and most of it was dramatic deduction time, which is usually not particularly fast dialogue) without any signs of being encumbered by the weight. He does adjust position a few times (his hand moves between panels so either he's adjusting or he's rubbing Kaito’s ass, I'm eating well as a Hakukai shipper but I'll take the innocent explanation) but there’s no sweat, no wince, no commentary about Kaito being heavy. Like, yeah, a fireman's carry is an effective way to carry a person. However, the average person is still going to struggle to lift someone that's a similar size to themselves.

Also, while im sure his assertion that he was going to walk him to the police station was just him being cheeky and bantering... he didn't seem to have any intention to put him down any time soon. I'd like to think that he was waiting for Kaito to call him out on it then make his escape, but if Kaito hadn't he'd have probably kept it up till the deduction was done then walked over to Nakamori-keibu and said something like, "this is Kid by the way, can you handle him from here?"

Anyway... Hakuba strong actually? I have decided to think so.

Can I just say I love all the little faces they make at each other? All the bois, not just Kaito and Hakuba. Granted, the character interactions and shifting dynamics have always been my favorite part of dcmk.

But like....

Hakuba bending down to talk to Conan. Kaito looking to proud of himself when he pulls out the 'hey did you consider it could actually be suicide?' While Conan’s in the background like 'oh shit oh shit oh fuck'. Conan and Kaito both thinking they had Ran Convinced, but she was sus.

Speaking of sus, I think Hakuba figured Conan out.

Sure, that last page had him back off from it and be like, "You got in contact with Shinichi and had him help." And that explaination works but... its an explanation that just makes less sense the more you think about it.

Even if I give the benefit of doubt it doesn't make sense to do it the way Hakuba explained, because if Conan contacted Shinichi to help then why would Conan be acting as the middle man? It'd introduce unnecessary delay to have Shinichi hear what's happening via phone, then Shinichi tell Conan his response, and Conan bowtie it to Kid, and Kid say the lines. (Realistically speaking the way they actually did it should also have this problem, but adding a step like this when in theory its completely unnecessary to have Conan as the middle man beyond just contacting Shinichi is just going to imcrease the delay.)

That said I can actually kind of see how that could be a conclusion he reached from this interaction:

Hakuba, at this point, knows that Shinichi is Kid and that Conan is helping him by supplying lines, but he hasn't figured out the details. So when he notices that Conan reacts before 'Shinichi' that's him reaching that conclusion that he brings up later about Conan being so invested that he was mimicing Shinichi’s expression and attitude.

I don't think he fully believed that, though.

Looking at the information that we know he had:

1. 'Shinichi' is Kid (and also Kaito Kuroba using his real face)

2. Conan is supplying Kid with lines.

3. The lines Kid is saying are from the real Shinichi.

4. Conan gets worked up if you say something that Shinichi would be worked up about

5. Conan has gadgets. (Hakuba is at least aware of the bowtie having speaker/microphone function, bit arguments could be made that he’s aware of the voice changer and also the sleep needles from the events at sunset mansion)

6. (Bonus) In a previous case Hattori had been upset with Hakuba being the representative 'detective of the east' but was completely fine with Conan taking that role.

I think he figured out that Conan was Shinichi, but that he wasn't certain until he brought up 'the real Shinichi' during the deduction and saw Conan begin to panic. I think he had mentioned it purely to get a rise out of Conan and see how he would react, and upon getting his answer he played along and gave Conan an out to jump on because if he exposed him here he wouldn't get the answers as to how this had happened.

And I feel like this read of is is reinforced by his final lines expressing that he understands why Shinichi/Conan would help Kid for the sake of solving the mystery because it's a detective’s nature. Hakuba gets it because he’s doing the same by helping Conan get away with his deception in hopes that doing so will help him get answers to the mystery.

Thats how I've decided to view things anyway, though it is possible that im partially blinded by my hope that he continues to be relevant.

#dcmk #hakuba saguru #so glad the boy came back #and i pray for his continued existence #the pool of hope is shallow but not empty #rambling #overanalyzing

[callmearcturus]

just stopping by to say you got me, ive now watched MI 4, 5, 6, then 1, with tickets to see 7 already. i plan to watch 2 and 3 after, to watch the shittiest one ones when im maximally invested. you focus mostly on the physicality and the bodies bc thats your personal deal, but any thoughts about the gadgets? the tech? the 1996 "internet" in MI1 made me giggle, but that screen in GP that changes perspective based on a moving target is extremely cool

I'm very much the bodies person way more than the gadgets. Like even when there are gadgets, I probably care about them in relation to the bodies.

Punct ALSO loves the perspective screen from GP and I think said it was their fave dumb gadget of the series. As we talked about in our fan commentary, Director Brad Bird's whole Thing was he's former Pixar so he wanted all the tech in GP to suck. Which I love thematically.

Hanaway dies bc he was distracted by his phone in the beginning

The instant inflatable landing balloon he uses clearly still hurts to use

The phone booth mission dispenser doesn't work

The perspective mirror thing can't handle multiple people

The fucking train car safe house uses a RETINAL SCANNER that is both in motion and too high off the ground for Ethan to use (leading to one of my favorite Physicality Porn moments when he grabs the handbars and has to bodily HOLD HIMSELF UP for the scan, chef's kiss love it)

The infamous gloves (which, there was a low tech analogue version of the same devices in MI1 which worked perfectly lmao)

The mission gets blown bc the eye camera Brandt has to wear fucking sucks

The mask machine breaks

Ethan loses contact with Benji bc the short range on the earpieces doesn't even reach the ground floor of the Burj

The device to follow Wistrom/Hendricks in the sandstorm also has very limited range

MCQUARRIE ACTUALLY ADDED THE MAGNETIC ROBOT FAILING IN THE LAST SEQUENCE lmao so even he was in on the running joke

I feel like the entire high tech parking garage counts for this given how much it fucks Ethan over as he tries to chase Hendricks

The final moment of Ethan impotently hitting the red button and nothing happening

HONESTLY ITS INCREDIBLE. I've never listed them all out before but goddamn GP is consistent lmao. I feel like that recurring joke lends into the actual Theme of GP which is the necessity of a team, of having people with you when everything fails. I love GP.

#mission impossible

[the-owl-tree]

(Feel free to ignore this if you’re sick of Nightheart discourse, I don’t blame you)

The thing about Nightheart is that if he was written by basically any other writer then he’d just be subjugated to a comic relief type character. Angsty ‘not a phase’ teenager who gets hit hard by reality in the second act and comes to appreciate his family by the end.

But Nightheart written by the Erins who are convinced he’s the specialist little guy and the people around him are just mean :( and it’s just such a boring way to write a character like him. Ironically they act like he’s Firestar more then anyone in Thunderclan.

this'll be the last ask i take for this dude lol im just gonna use ur ask to sort of explain my thoughts more

the thing about nightheart is he is right up my alley as a character (i am a certified Lightleap Enjoyer characters who do stupid things are very fun), but like.....there's just waaaayy too much shit ingrained in his writing for me to like him, you know? rookflower made a good post pointing out the issues being discussed so this is me basically adding onto this but you know

-he's not a teen, he's a young adult at this point so the angsty teen thing just isn't a thang for this dude. every book he gets older and older and the "im not orange thing" becomes increasingly stupid. this isn't a kid lashing out, this is a young adult who is being written as if he has actually being wronged in some way.

-his writing hinges on him being wronged in some way, that Squirrelflight, Sparkpelt, and all of the other she-cats in the introduction have actually done something they need to atone for. isn't it strange that the first book is them being treated as nagging harpies while Bramblestar (the guy who manipulates him) is this understanding and relatable grandfather to him who understands him like no one else? why write that?

-to which, this isn't some intentional commentary on bramblestar for being a manipulative dickhead, the writers actually give him credit for pairing up Sunbeam and Nightheart when it was actually Squirrelflight.

-*hands on my hips* like isn't that weeeiiirrrrdd? weird that we have an arc that unfairly blames she-cats and then gives credit to the male characters around them for shit they don't do? like isn't that just a weeeee bit strange to some of you?

-this is a series that holds she-cats, and specifically mothers, to a higher level of scrutiny than its male characters. Sparkpelt's treatment by the narrative does not exist in a vacuum, why is the narrative saying she named her son for her own ambition? why is her being exiled treated as a slight against Nightheart? why is her ppd (which was already something squirrelflight's hope used to reflect poorly on the character) being used to boost her son's arc?

#asc spoilers #deer rambles #*hands on my hips* like isn't all this coming together just sort of telling to some of you? #like we have this repeated bias of the brother pov who is some sort of outsider for a hamfisted reason #we /know/ the authors have some pretty fucking nasty beliefs about mothers and motherhood #and put this altogether i mean....yeah. i dont like how this character is being used.

[a-romantic--aromantic]

if you are a blank blog/no pfp just a friendly reminder i Will reach out to let you know how this site works because im assuming youre new and dont understand the culture and letting yall know seems best but heres some main takeaways:

Tumblr is anonymous. please please please dont use your name as or in your url. its a really important aspect of this site to maintain that anonymity and most of the time its an easy way to identify porn bots- they use peoples names. if you have your name in your url its an easy way to get blocked.

your blog is your blog. you dont have to make a single ounce of content, but the point of it is to save the content you like for later, which is done through reblogging. reblogging makes a save that can only be deleted by you, even if the original poster deactivates or deletes it. this is a really cool feature! it means you’ll never lose stuff you like!

if you like to lurk, thats okay! tumblr likes dont actually do/mean anything though, and is not actually any sort of a real way to show the people making stuff that you like what theyre doing or support them. if you want there is a setting to make your blog private- it means people wont see anything but your username and your profile picture without a password

speaking of profile picture! if you do not have one people will think you are a bot. they will block you for being a bot. it doesnt matter what it is it could be the color gray just avoid using the tumblr default profile picture.

tags! tags are an easy way to add commentary or share anecdotes or ramble without interrupting the content of the post. people love these! they are widely supported, and usually can “pass peer review” as a way of saying that someone else thought what you said was funny/important enough to share in the main post, either by screenshot or copy pasting, and tagging the person who made them. usually, we do not/did not start the “prev tags” thing. it can have its uses, but nobody likes a hunt through prev tags. if its more that 2/3 people back, the culture here isnt to pissy about copy pasting, and if youre worried about credit, just add another tag with their name

🌟bonus round 🌟 tumblr is actively unmarketable and does not want our information to be sold or used. this means that you Should Not Use the algorithm, particularly, you should curate your dash and follow people. a large part of the point is chronological consumption, and that old posts recirculate indefinitely. take advantage of the benefits from the site, and understand that the nonsensical ads are because of the lack of information tumblr is collecting on us. they are protecting our privacy and our information. we want to make sure it continues that way. due to tumblr protections of us, and the way that it is following-based rather than algorithm-based, this also means you Do Not Need to censor anything. this includes heavy content, swear words, silly ridiculous threatening posts that are unhinged and unrealistic. censoring isn’t necessary here. like i said, take advantage of the benefits of being here. its good here.

thats all, i hope yall newbies enjoy tumblr! good luck!

#new users #newbies #twitter #tiktok #tumblr culture #rambles

[bringmemyrocks]

Are you a convert to Judaism? When did you get interested and how long was the process? Im thinking about it

Hi anon, yes I'm a convert. I was orthodox for many years before going the more liberal/non-denominational route.

"How long is the process" really depends on:

Your denomination: Reform and some conservative or non-denom can have you done within a year. Orthodox may take longer unless you're getting married and/or have a lot of money.

It took extra long for me because I'm pig-headed and tried to be frum when I shouldn't have. The frum world didn't deserve me *hair flip*, and doesn't deserve any of the amazing queer people who still try to make it their home.

Don't be orthodox, anon.

Anon, if you want to learn about Judaism, read books, learn Torah, join a community, please don't get all or even half your information from Tumblr (and that includes me). Facebook groups can be a bit better but still not great.

This sounds like a TV pharmaceutical ad ("Ask God if Judaism is right for you!") but do try praying. Learn Jewish prayers in English, pray psalms in English or Hebrew or whatever language you want. Talk to God like you'd talk to someone you trust. (Some Jews call this "hitbodedut" because they think a hasidic rabbi invented it, but I don't think anyone can claim to have invented the practice of speaking to God outdoors.)

See if this tradition speaks to you. The Bible is free, and you can access a ton of English-language commentaries and prayer books (siddurim) for free on the website Sefaria.org. opensiddur is an online source with free prayer books, some have transliteration. Lots of synagogues stream their services to youtube. Judaism is not a closed tradition in any meaningful sense--you can visit, learn, eat all you want. Very few things in Judaism are truly reserved only for Jews, and you won't do them accidentally.

I don't have many book recs because most books people give orthodox conversion candidates are not worth the time you spend reading them. Some liberal Jews like "choosing a Jewish life" by Anita Diamant but I haven't read it myself.

The Book of Legends pulls the narratives/stories from the Talmud and puts them into an anthology, but the book is formatted terribly and it's not in the public domain yet, so nobody has fixed that. A lot of those stories made it into Nathan Ausubel's Bible Stories section in A Treasury of Jewish Folklore, which is a bit more accessible.

Anyone is welcome to comment book recs on this post for anon and I'll add them.

I can recommend you more books or resources if I know more about your theological background and/or current interests in religion.

Anyway.

Here's a copy-paste of my journey to Judaism that I wrote in August 2023. Entitled "Why Stay Jewish?" as a play on "Why Be Jewish?" It does not touch on the current genocide being perpetrated by Israel in the name of Judaism, but in case someone who doesn't follow me comes across this post:

Free Palestine from the River to the Sea. Zionists f off.

Everything below this line was written in August 2023:

Why Stay Jewish?

Aka “a religious Jew who still hasn’t read Heschel tries to assemble a coherent testimony for Judaism”

A few days ago, a friend asked me what drew me to Judaism. (Background: I decided to be Jewish almost 10 years ago, gave it up for a bit after burning out in orthodoxy, and ended up coming back a few years ago.) The TL;DR is that I’ve always been fascinated by religion, and my conversion was more driven by religious faith than by anything else. 

This is a bit disjointed, but I don’t want to spend weeks editing a Tumblr post, so just going to post it as-is. I talk a decent amount about the theology of orthodox Judaism as well as that of various Christian sects, but I’ve tried to make this readable for anyone with a different theological background. 

In 2015, progressive Christian leaders Nadia Bolz-Weber and Rachel Held Evans (RIP) started the “Why Christian” conference. The conference, which had its last meeting in 2019 shortly before Evans passed away, sought to answer the question “why be Christian in the twenty-first century?” Christian theologians such as Peter Rollins, Gustavo Gutierrez, and James Cone have all addressed this question when dealing with issues of race, class, and other axes of oppression. Evans and Bolz-Weber held “why Christian” conferences to discuss these questions, inviting both Christian leaders and lay people to talk about the role of Christianity in their own lives and in the world. 

While my friend asked me “why did you become Jewish,” I feel (like Bolz-Weber and so many others) that the more pertinent question for me is “why do you stay Jewish?” Because if you’ve followed me or known me personally for any length of time, you know that I wrestle a lot with Judaism, and not in the cute “my lesbian rabbi makes jokes about fighting G-d in a Denny’s parking lot” way, and have done for the past decade. (No hate towards those who experience their religion this way; I imagine that’s a much easier path than the one I took.) 

The short version is that I am a theist, someone who believes in God and revolves my life around this belief, and that I believe Judaism is the truest way to connect with God. I do not believe in intermediaries between people and God, not priests, rabbis, or any person. 

My religious journey started off with me as a young Roman Catholic who chafed against the idea of priests as gatekeepers between people and God. Eventually my anti-intermediary philosophy applied to saints, Jesus, or any human institutions. Some people on here will say “Judaism isn’t Christianity minus Jesus!” but for me that was definitely part of the progression, stripping away useless layers that clung to my religious faith. I don’t think my conception of God himself has changed much since I was a child, and there’s good and bad in that. I wonder how many Christians have a similar concept of God that I did, loosely modalist with very little focus on the incarnation, that Jesus was always secondary and that the New Testament was interesting but not a theological guide except for its reinforcement of Old Testament concepts (Matthew 25 in particular comes to mind). Atonement theories were confusing and none really made sense. I was always the “odd Christian out” for preferring Matthew’s ethics-focused Gospel to John’s word-become-flesh. 

When I learned that much of Jesus’ teachings came from the Torah, I decided to study those texts instead. The Jewish view of God (is there such a thing?) resonated with me far more. God as omnipotent and all-knowing creator, one who loves but whose love can be incomprehensible to the point of terror–I experienced the world and my religion as overwhelming at regular intervals, so it all made sense to me. I can be a bit more rational now (my rabbi is a philosophical though not political disciple of R. Slifkin), but the idea of God as imperfect in the Harold Kushner sense never sat right with me. Maybe I’d be happier if it did. 

An aside: People online often tell Christians that “Judaism isn’t just Christianity without Jesus,” but I have an issue with that statement. There is no Christianity at all without Jesus. Even naturalist Christians who reject the idea that Jesus is literally God, or that God is a personal being rather than a nebulous force, even these Christians center their religion around the life and teachings of Jesus. Even Christians who view Easter only as symbolic are not practicing a “Christianity without Jesus”. They may have a very low christology, but their religion does not “lack Jesus” in any meaningful way. Even liberal Protestant Biblical scholars who agree that Jesus is not foretold as a messiah in the Old Testament still view the text through Jesus–they just filter their Christianity through liberation or womanist theology (both of which are Christian worldviews which believe in Jesus as a teacher and redeemer of some kind). This is not to condemn Christianity at all, conservative, liberal, academic, or otherwise; just to say that anyone who claims that Christianity minus Jesus is a religion or philosophy at all is mistaken. 

I sought out Judaism because it was what I had been searching for all along in a religion: largely unencumbered access to God. What with learning Hebrew and realizing the difficult path that converts are put on (often unfairly), the “unencumbered” part became murkier, but still I stuck with it. Not all the rules made sense then, and not all of them do now. I used to be more comfortable davening with a mechitza, but now praying separately from women feels wrong and misogynistic. 

My favorite Jewish communities have always been lay-led, using folding chairs rather than pews, and arks made from ikea cabinets, and plastic table bimahs. I’ve never been a fan of purpose-built synagogues. (Liturgically-inclined Christians would describe this as being “low church”.) I’m very no-frills in this way. Unfortunately, there’s a not insubstantial part of the Jewish world that also loves the casual, baggy mismatched clothes of the pop-up minyanim that I used to go to. It took me far too long to grasp this, perhaps out of denial, but the large knit kippot and colorful tichels and guitar music that I loved in the “left-wing” modern orthodox communities I was in are also widely popular among settlers, and have been for longer than I’ve been alive. (That and the music of Shlomo Carlebach, but that’s another post. TW for the all-too-common #metoo stuff.) 

A lot of converts say they fell in love with Jewish culture, and that religious belief came later, but for me it was the opposite. Part of this may have been that unlike the vast majority of converts, I came to Judaism alone, without a romantic partner. (The vast, vast majority of converts to Judaism are heterosexual women converting to orthodox Judaism.) To me, God is central and always has been, and that’s one reason I fell into orthodoxy when my sexuality and politics would have otherwise made me more comfortable in a different denomination (thanks, Mordecai Kaplan). The New England frum culture I found myself in at age 19 was totally alien to me, and the misogyny and racism that I witnessed was both antithetical to my life philosophy but also something I was in no position to fight against. There is no single “Jewish culture”, but you wouldn’t know that from davening with the orthodox minyanim where I was. I became Jewish first as a young single man, with a tentative, arm’s length liking for the man-made tongue-and-mustard-eating, upper middle class world I found myself in. I did not love the Jewish world at first, and I still find it difficult to love my fellow Jews uncritically. Racist grandfathers are all too common among people of all backgrounds, and Jews are no exception. 

In this century, I don’t believe my love for the Jewish world will ever be uncomplicated. It’s been poisoned by nationalism and chauvinism, some of which has roots in trauma, but most of which instead has much deeper origins in centuries of racism learned in Europe and the USA. And much of the Jewish world has no love for me, either. But still I pray three times daily, often in English and rarely from a siddur except for Monday, Thursday, and Saturday mornings. I wonder if I’m just wired this way. Since Sinai, since birth, since learning that praying was something I could do, perhaps. 

I remember speaking to an evangelical pastor many years ago about my relationship with God after I had left orthodoxy and was trying to do church again, seeing it as the next best option. I realized that while I had had little trouble setting up theological discussion places for LGBT people of faith since I was 15, I could not speak of my own religious experiences easily. I told him that God had been my comfort since I was young. That I turned to God in times of strife and also saw God’s beauty in the world (sorry, Karl Barth). God was refuge, redeemer, source of wisdom, sometimes in the world and sometimes not. I had no experiences with Jesus directly, and this pastor never pressed me on my christology. He seemed, as I was at the time, fine with me not knowing which “person” of the Trinity was the source of my theological experiences. I saw God in my experiences, and while I liked reading theology, I never found Aquinas or Tillich particularly interesting. I preferred Buber and Nouwen with their deeply personal writings. I felt there was more soul there. I left out the fact that if I’d discovered that I was halachically Jewish, I would have jumped ship immediately and stopped practicing Christianity. 

I don’t have many points that I could point to as a “testimony”, a particular life event that convinced me that God was real, or that a particular stream of Judaism was my lifesource. In his Varieties of Religious Experience, William James describes “peak experiences” as intensely religious experiences that someone can have. My journey has had few of these, preferring to take a more slow, scenic path. Not every journey of the mind and heart has moments of blinding light or burning bushes. But I’ll try and pick out a few, in loosely chronological order. Not all of these are directly Jewish, but I’m including them because they help frame my “spiritual autobiography”. 

----------------

The first is a recurring dream I had between 2015 and 2019. It drew on the story of Thecla, an early follower of Paul the apostle. When she was led into the arena to be killed by lions, she baptised herself first so she could be baptised before her death. I had a similar dream that repeated itself every few months, minus the lions, in which I immersed myself in water while those around me refused to baptise me. I don’t believe in clairvoyance, but I do think of them as the brain’s way of communicating with itself. In this context, I had been prohibited from joining any religious community, and was willing to do almost anything to achieve that. 

Another experience I had was in a class on Catholic mysticism. (Most of my study of academic theology has been in Christian environments, largely because Christians are more amenable to teaching in English.) I experienced something not-quite akin to psychosis, in which images and sounds from my old Jewish life flooded my brain. I spent the entire two-hour lecture drawing the pictures of the shul that came to mind (the Ikea-branded ark, the men in assorted hats and yarmulkes, the mechitza a cheap cream-colored curtain hung on a washing line, etc.) At the time, it felt like part of me was dying. Perhaps it was, perhaps it still is–I’m no longer orthodox, and in good conscience can’t be again. 

My experience with religion has always had large positives and large negatives. When I finally did my mikveh a few years ago, I told one of my (only remaining) frum friends, and his immediate response was “that’s lovely news, especially after [proceeds to infodump all the depressing queer frum news that I’m not privvy to living outside NYC.]”  

I’ve talked about this next one before, but I got to attend a mostly-secular Jewish retreat last year, and went with the bf. The one genuinely non-secular part of it was an optional kabbalat shabbat service led by a former-haredi now non-denom rabbi and a cantor from a similar background. They didn’t have siddurim or anything, so we all just sang from memory. I got to sit next to my bf with my arm around him–the very concept of singing yedid nefesh while being openly, visibly gay was insane to me, but I got to do both there. I’m always glad that my partner (or his being secular) pushed me to explore outside of orthodoxy, because it’s been a much better experience. Sometimes the familiar isn’t always what’s safe. (A more innocent example of this would be my cat, who used to be a street kitty. He still prefers sleeping on plastic bags or pizza boxes to sleeping in a real bed. In the same way, I felt more comfortable in environments that placed heavy restrictions on gender and sexual identity, even if they didn’t kick you out the door.) 

People have described me as “passionate” and “obsessive” about my faith, and I don’t think this is a false characterization. Someone who felt less passionately that God alone should be worshiped could have been happy in a UCC or Unitarian church, but such was not true for me. I won’t weigh in directly re: Christianity being avodah zara (idol worship) except to say that much of orthodox Judaism doesn’t see it that way. (Tovia Singer does not speak for most orthodox Jews in most matters, and I think that if people want to worship literal or figurative idols, we should leave them alone and not harass them in the street.) Rather, I would compare Christianity to any sect of a religion which demands its followers approach God through a human intermediary (make of this what you will). Rebbe Nachman has some interesting ideas, but I don’t chant mantras with his name as some of his followers do. I finally tried learning kabbalah last year, and I found it surprisingly dry. Very intricate, but why split God into a tree of life when you have God already? Perhaps I’m too single-minded. If I had more faith in myself, I would say I'm Maimonidean. 

It’s interesting being a scholar of religion while simultaneously being religious. Last spring I had to do a systematic theology course to finish my Master of Divinity degree, and I failed to articulate my personal theology very well, and I didn’t do very well in the class. I had a passion for God and for what’s right and wrong in the world, but even after decades of study, I still couldn’t make my theology make sense to my liberal protestant professors. (And I don’t think I’m doing the best job now.) If I had known more Maimonides at the time, I would have invoked him rather than trying to explain Judaism on my own, convoluted, contradictory terms. 

I was always more theologically comfortable around evangelicals because they didn’t mind me talking about God and not circling back to Jesus and his lessons. There’s an almost Marcionist impulse among some liberal Protestants to insist that every book in the Old Testament be either discarded (side-eyes the Revised Common Lectionary), or viewed solely through the lens of Jesus.

Brian Zahnd insists on this reading in his Sinners in the Hand of a Loving God, a condemnation of what he sees as “fire and brimstone Christianity.” To his credit, Zahnd argues against literalism in the New Testament just as much as he insists the “Jesus lens” be applied to the Old Testament. This isn’t to condemn Zahnd or his theology–the man has theological chops, something that can’t be said for much of the often-fundamentalist neo-Anabaptist world (David Bercot et al.) I just don’t personally find Zahnd’s worldview convincing with the weight I give the Old Testament. 

For so much of my life, Judaism was orthodoxy. It’s hard to construct a systematic theology outside of that, especially when I find myself frustrated with Buber and Rosensweig and their insistence on mischaracterizing Christianity in treatises in order to give Judaism an identity. A Jew who wants to read about Judaism without passive aggressive lashon hara about Christianity often ends up reading orthodox work. Ironically, I know now that in modern orthodox Jewish works, this lack of antagonism is largely because of R. Soloveitchik’s strong aversion to interfaith dialogue, especially with Christians, as expressed in his Vatican II-era essay Confrontation. So while I saw orthodoxy as less opposed to other religions, it was in fact the opposite–there was so much opposition, they barely even acknowledged that the Reform movement existed after 19th century Berlin. Maybe this is a sign to try reading Heschel again. He, Kaplan, and Judith Butler can have a race to the bottom on most incomprehensible philosophy, but people tell me I’ll like his ideas. 

One thing my rabbi has taught me (same former haredi rabbi as mentioned above) is that ritual and religiosity don’t have to go hand in hand. I can decide not to bench after meals if it makes me happier and still pray as often as I want. The phrase “religious Jew” often obscures the many non-orthodox Jews that exist. I can be fulfilled without scrubbing my oven with a toothbrush every March. God is everywhere, so relax, I guess. 

We’ll see. 

Added today, February 5 2024:

A friend later pointed out that I talk a lot about God and not a lot about Torah in this post. I'll reflect on that again sometime and see if I can come up with something. I forgot that I tried to psychoanalyze my dreams to try and construct a testimony last year. That's funny.

I've been reading a lot of Elmer Berger, and while his books aren't systematic theology, they describe a liberal religious Judaism that exists apart from Zionism. Highly recommend reading him because any Jew or Jew-curious individual should. Most of his books are free on the Internet Archive.

Oh boy anon, bet you didn't expect something that long-winded, huh? I think we almost hit 4000 words there.

Feel free to ping me with more questions.

#jewish convert #conversion to judaism #judaism #long post #me and religion #i #anon #ask #asks

[trashworldblog]

i think the "nice doing business with you" line from the s5 finale is definitely going to have significance to season 6. there are too many examples of innocuous lines that end up being foreshadowing to overlook it. it's also a general rule of genies that they can't bring things back from the dead, so i think that's going to end up playing into whatever the "deal" with ryan was. the genie could've said it was against the rules to bring prof back, so ryan made another deal to get him back (1/2)

[i think there's also going to be a conflict with time travel in season 6. it's such an integral part of the show, and ryan definitely screwed the timeline by bringing prof and his family back. if we hadn't seen the article with the photo of the prof and his parents' fossils, then i would be a little less convinced of this, but because its explicitly shown onscreen, its very likely that something will go wrong with the timeline (2/2)

oh i also think that the substitute survived defenestration, but i think he's going to be a minor antagonist next season. just a nuisance, if you will. like yeah he's still a problem, but there are much bigger fish to fry than a 1'2" puppet hologram with an obsession with murder (3/3)]

...

sorry for taking so long!! this has been sitting in my drafts and ive been slowly pulling my thoughts together on this so its taken me some time!! (plus ive been chillin with the holidays and such) i appreciate this ask so much!

!disclaimer! i may accidentally pull from shane's commentary on the season finale on pateron. im doing my best not to because i know some people dont have access to patreon content. (plus its fun to make it more challenging) all puppet history lore is like marbles in my brain and its hard to separate what ideas came from where. im doin my best tho!

ok lets jump into it!

i am So. Curious. on how ryan and the genies whole deal is gonna shake out. was that it? will there be consequences? i have a feeling we'll be seeing some kind of fallout from this wish. it feels like they cut their conversation very short for a very specific reason. theres gotta be something going on there.

I think that ryan didnt *technically* wish the professor back to life, he just wished the professor back to the present. i also like the idea used in @ask-the-substitute that ryan used his 3 wishes to bring the professor back and thats how the profs mom and dad got to the present. its so perfect, i love it. just the idea of ryan thinking the first wish didnt work so then he tried again, and again. incredible.

i am curious if there is gonna be any time travel conflict! im not sure what that would look like (my brain kinda melts when it comes to timey wimey bullshit). honestly this is the part im the most unsure of. like theyre probably is consequences, but i dont even know where to start for what that would look like. i still like to think that the article showing the professor's family's bones just faded away like how people in photos did in back to the future.

the substitute ABSOLUTELY survived the defenestration!! watcher hq is one story and im slightly convinced the substitute cant die (unless we go by hot daga hologram logic, in that case you would need a witch and a volcano to kill most holograms [and i dont have a volcano handy])

i hope the substitute turns into either

1) a minor villan thats more annoying/funny then anything.

2) character redemption arc. we really like this funky guy and it would be cool to see him chill out with the stabby stabby. (just a little, he can stabby stabby as a treat)

now it would be REALLY FUNNY if the substitute did ad reads for future seasons Especially for nord vpn and other online security stuff.

i think the bigger fish to fry is gonna be those puppets trapped in the wonderium arena!! we gotta get them outta there and back into their earthly bodies!! how is that gonna happen??? god is asleep, the devil isnt gonna help, and neither is the genie. how the hell do you even get to a purgatory like that? dorthy ruth has moved on even though her husband isnt really dead!!!

what im really curious about for next season is

1) who is gonna be the musical guest. if the professor cant time travel, where is he gonna get his musical talents? will he reuse the substitutes tech to make guests?

2) any new stuff to go with our new professor??

3) are dino mom and dad gonna be involved? casually mentioned? i really hope a guest asks if the professor has a family just so that he can excitedly say "yes!! i do :D"

those are most of my thoughts going into s6! pretty excited to see what next season is going to look like! not sure if its gonna be lore heavy. ill be keeping an eye peeled for any hints 👀 either way, im excited to learn :)

#thanks for the ask! #puppet history #watcher #shane madej #ryan bergara #watcher entertainment #we are watcher #the professor #beth's lore dump

[iloveyouphillipmorris]

i was tagged by the ineffable @leonardcohenofficial to talk about the worst films i saw in 2023 and i am here to DEFEND MYSELF...... beneath the cut are full reviews of the above flicks but if you don't wanna read that, that's cool and i tag --

@junglejim4322 @fortheturnstiles + @rutles ilysm ilysmm

Bruce Almighty [2003] -- i'll start off with something easy. this is the only jim carrey movie i would say i absolutely SUFFERED through, like, painful agony. something that bugs me is in his 10mil trilogy [ace ventura/dumb n dumber/mask] he is continually asked to repeat his original material shown in 'jim carrey's unnatural act,' his work before that, n his ad-libs in "in living colour." but you kinduv get it in the 10mil trilogy, like! theser are his first three big films and so naturally, these elements are necessary to instill a sort of marketable charm for him as a breakout. even though i think he'd already very much 'broken out,' but whatever. 'bruce almighty' is a pastiche of a pastiche, with a sense of abject cruelty that goes entirely against the charm of what makes early carrey movies, well, carrey movies !!! despite his hands-on approach to this flick, it just doesnt feel really like something he'd do under any other circumstances... i love u jim i hope ur ok and im sorry i dont like bruce almighty))):

Barbie [2023] -- this movie was primed to be adored by me. it had everything; margot robbie, bright colours, elaborate sets, a sort of blinding stupidity, something blatantly silly, and kitsch. i should have fucking loved this movie. if i had seen it in a theatre, i'd have up and walked out halfway through. it was around that mark that i paused the flick and turned to my mom and brother and asked "are you all feeling what i'm feeling?" which was this ... nauseating sense of cynicism. it was a wholeheartedly empty film, containing no amount of irony which was meaningful. all of the camp and kitschy aspects were self aware and intentional, which, obviously, cuts out the camp of it all. it is so self aware so as to be insulting to the viewer and provide nothing in the way of any kinduv social commentary, all while looking you in the eye, winking, and saying "we're doing all of this and changing nothing, isn't that so meta? i'm addressing you; aren't i meta? aren't i so 2023-chic? aren't i so nihilistic?" it was a hollow, cynical, capitalistic endeavour with no shame. the fact that this movie was released at all is a testament to our indifference as a culture, how we just sit here and eat whatever fucking shit we have put in front of it and usually, i'd be fine with that. i LOVE eating shit. but when the shit-taker looks you in the eye while feeding you his feces? fuck off. it is more than a pastiche, it is more than a disgusting and crude display, it is more than a first entry into an assured milieu of product-based universes, it is a misanthropic hateful display of consumerism that makes a fool of you and itself by shouting @ you from the screen: "WE ARE GOING TO CHANGE NOTHING AND YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE IT." furthermore, it is a crime against my faggot sensibilities. which is unacceptable. not to mention, it is genuinely cruel to the idea of men having personalities and hobbies and passions. but i know that's even less agreed with. save yourself the two hours and watch "pee-wee's big adventure" instead. at least pee-wee loves you.

Skinamarink [2022] -- offender of the highest order in horror: being boring. if you've seen a movie longer than an hour and a half with a slower pace, this movie is nothing. if you have ever watched dogma 95, it is nothing. if you have ever watched gummo or julien donkey boy, it is nothing. if you have ever been anxious in the heart of the night, it is nothing. it is nothing no matter which way you look at it. go watch the monument mythos or if you want a good horror flick made in the same year, then go watch michelle garza cervera's debut; husera: the bone woman.

Batman [1989] -- what a pitiful entry into the most whimsical, exhiliterating, absolutely fucking bonkers series of films ever. the burtonverse which contains this film and the following batman returns is alright, it's cool. like whatever, that's fine. i think the set and costume designs are sick and i'm excited for the new batman '89 comix that are coming out now, that's fine, whatever. but BORE ME DURING THE 1990'S BATMAN FRANCHISE!? a crime! michael keaton is such a trite and empty little creature. he looks stupid in the bat costume and not in a way that's fun like the much superior schumacher-verse flicks that follow the next entries after burton. bat nipples? bat cards? gay people? that's what the 90's batman flicks are about. it's aout not knowing what the fuck is going on but tommy lee jones and jim carrey are KISSING. only good thing about it is when jack n gets the makeup on he's absolutely fucking terrifying n that's how he rly is in real life in real !!!! in real life !!! fun fact !!!

#tag things #i dont like being bored or condescended to

[mizugucci]

hiii everyone im finally posting this after ignoring all my tags for two weeks lmao. i love these kind of games though its fun to look back, so thank you for tagging me:

@floweruna / @hongberries @gnanii @yangsminho and @honeydewtual

rules: link your favorite and/or most popular post from each month this year <3 (it’s totally fine to skip months!) and tag some CCs you love!

im sure most people have already done it, but ill tag some people just to say hi @taegyunie @ambivartence @awek-s @flops @strhwaberries @hwichanis

i added way too much commentary, so this will go under a readmore lmao. also i included ALL gifs including from my gg and fandom sideblogs, not just bgs.

january

favorite: obviously my favorite was my magazine/gif thing i made for kenta's birthday (6th year in a row, this year will be 7) unfortunately it doesnt load very well lol

most popular: these txt gifs (sugar rush ride) and taehyun+stickers

february

favorite: i cant deny i still think about this set of sebin during snuper's rain of mind era... the sparkles will always have a chokehold on me. ps check out my pixy wings set

most popular: this joshua set (for whatever reason lol)

march

favorite: i have several but im rly happy at how the wjsn + butterflies set turned out, its so nice. also my two harry june sets have a soft spot in my heart

most popular: this set of svt aju nice, its not a surprise that when i post svt it gets way more notes lol. i do like it a lot though

april

favorite: by FAR my fav (excluding macarena) is my loona as witches gifset. its one ofmy best im not gonna lie but also.... yuma sunshine...

most popular: actually i had a couple that were fairly popular but uh another joshua gifset has the most but ALSO this blitzers macarena post is nearing 200 notes??? i would consider that a fave too. and apparently tumblr loves big yuto/little yuto the same i do

may

favorite: i outdid myself in my dkz 9 to 5 set here. like idk how it ended up looking good but i love it sm.

most popular: ANOTHER joshua set??? im not even joshua biased. hes just so pretty LOL this is boring ill mention the 2nd most popular too. which is also another boring svt set. NEXT is big yuto/little yuto again <3

june

favorite: i made a gifset pretending fly me to the moon had a m/v and it flopped SO HARD i forget that i actually made it. also not to sneak this one but bitsaeon is SOOOO beautiful

most popular: campus crush junseo was my most popular this month, AS IT SHOULD BE. everyone should love that teddy bear

july

favorite: mmm two horror-adjacent gifsets!!! a set for dreamcatcher's chase me and an au that set kino (ptg) as a horror protag. lol it was so niche but i enjoyed it

most popular: omg i didnt think it would be but junghwan in the move m/v... as it SHOULD BE (again) i was let down a lot by trsr this year but this song kept me interested

august

favorite: mmm probably changsun in heartbeat. i LOVE that song and also it brought me back to 2017. nostalgia is.. very strong lol

most popular: im ignoring yet another joshua set. sorry josh but lets let others have a spot lmao. actually after that, a gifset of jaechan in his pre-release solo has the most notes. thats crazy!

september

favorite: my fav is OBVIOUSLY the set of snuper + sparkles. supposedly i was going to turn it into a series of boys+sparkles but we'll see.

most popular: its kind of funny, it seems like there arent a lot of ptg stans on tumblr but they always crawl out of the woodwork to rb my ptg stuff. i love u guys. and i miss yanan.

october

favorite: another installment in my women+horror series was my fav for this month. girlies gotta love vampires

most popular: i am SO glad. if it is any of my sets to be popular, i would never be disappointed if its omega x. they deserve the WORLD and ill personally give it to them. btw my pics with jaehan and taedong turned out soo well but i look AWFUL with sebin lmaooo

november

favorite: ahhh definitely anthonny in magic hour jacket behind. hes an ICON and i really liked him in bp

most popular: ohhh this was a surprise, i guess bc i only did 4 gifsets in november, but this seowon in wonderland m/v has the most notes. totally valid, hes beautiful

december

favorite: baby... yuma... sunshine loml obviously is my fav. hes sooo cute in that beret. and his smile. oh im gonna cry hes so cute LOOK AT MY SON!!!!!

most popular: i guess kpop has less of a reach on tumblr now because my one and only fandom post has the most notes lol. anyway if you havent seen a journey to love, you really should

a few thoughts:

well, its not a surprise that my most popular were seventeen and txt but it was interesting to see the variety of groups that i did gif besides them

peak time really had (has) a chokehold on me lmaoooo so many sets spawned from that show.

i also giffed more than i thought i had, so that was very neat to discover. although it was funny i posted 4 gifsets in the entirety of november

i talked so much and i apologize but thank you to anyone who even scrolled down this far, thanks for bearing with me!!

#mtxt #op

[cacturne]

hello beloved mutual i rarely interact with directly i see you too have an oc named Aya this is an invitation to infodump about them 🐒 <- me politely sitting down to listen

NO WAY!!! HELLO BELOVED MUTUAL WHOM I HAVE KNOWN FOR YEARS BUT RARELY DIRECTLY INTERACT WITH!!!

i made aya for an oc rp server concept when i was about 15 with a group of friends, where the gimmick was that all ocs would be based on a song. Of course, as a guy who liked vocaloid at 15 years old, it had to be copycat by circusp

Augh old art but im pretty sure(?) this is my first drawing of her (though a lot of art has been lost to the deleted server ether so im not certain)

her original concept was that she was a teen idol who put up appearances because the idol industry sucks and kind of lost who she was as a person in the process, thus mimicking others personalities back at them instead.

this, however, was kind of almost immediately ditched as i integrated her into a different rp server since my original one never took off. Also it was really hard to copy other ocs personalities when you were autistic and didnt even know your own personality. So she retained being an idol with issues but that was kind of it, just being commentary on how the idol industry sucks.

over time pieces were added to her backstory, her mother (single parent) died in a car crash which is also how she lost her right eye. Before she died Aya promised her that she would become an idol, so as any smart person would do she pushed aside the horrific trauma and jumped headfirst into a cutthroat and ruthless industry. (What happens next may shock you! (Mental breakdown))

to be honest, it was never elaborated on much past that since the rp server she was in was a royalty au, so her modern setting of course would not fit at all. The whole idol thing was mostly ditched not very long into it, only really serving as a barebones motivation if it ever came up. It would definitely be fun to flesh her out more! She is one of my most beloved old ocs (certified by my friends who were in that server) and i, also, love her so dearly. She singlehandedly started my catgirl loving!

Here is some art i doodled of her more recently when i was reminiscing on that rp server and pulling up old art, thank you for reading!!! And thank you just as much for asking!!!! :D

#asks #caseyjonesbignaturals #Im not very good at summarizing things so if this is at all confusing it is not you. Its me #Youre a wonderful mutual btw jsyk even if we dont interact much #ghosts howling #ghosts scribbling #Putting it in both of these for fun and recreation

[hauntedpearl]

Doe Doe Doe!! For the fic directors commentary: I would love to hear your insight about this collection of lines from ttwoat

The path they cut through The Son's kingdom with silver ichor remains untrodden for too long. 

Somewhere, Balthazar screams as ephemeral claws tear through his left flank, adding to the cacophony, and Castiel shifts his form, turning serpentine, weaving towards his Brother.  

'We fall fast,' he prays to Heaven, splitting his sword in two, fending off a new wave of demons. 'We cannot hold the line for much longer.'

Revelation remains scarce. 

Castiel grows restless. 

They may have been 'canon fodder' to Zachariah, but he does not intend to die in the Pit.  

He does not intend to lose this battle. 

Or his garrison.  

For all the sin it harbors, Hell still has its rules —

A claimed soul would leave unscathed, as would the one laying the claim.  

And an angel's claim can kill a star. 

Or make one.

If you feel so inclined!! Ty <3333

hellooo vinny my dear!

okay SO. this whole sequence from ttwoat was actually super fun to write. I was mostly playing, but it also took me a ridiculous amount of time because there was this vision in my head and i just wanted it to be as close to it as possible.

A whole "battle" sequence was pretty heavily inspired by the fantasy stories i've read over the years. like i know im not good in any way yet, but i LOVE a good high fantasy magic battle, and it's a part of supernatural that often gets lost in the urban fantasy americana vibe of the show. So i really just wanted to play with it here. the intention was to invoke an image that's like part epic battle part abstract creature fantasy.

which.

that was also something i was thinking about. like we don't know anything about angel or demon trueforms, beyond the fact that humans cant see them. and they in some way reflect the divinity or the evil that these beings possess right. now im not christian, and i don't really know anything about christian mythology beyond the things in pop culture tbh so i decided to play with the idea of trueforms, pulling from this piecemeal knowledge of western mythology and just stuff i know from my own culture. (it's getting long so im putting the rest under the cut oop im so sorry!!!!)

so demons are more "monstrous" looking in the traditional sense and they're these masses with no definition and theyre hunger and teeth and claw and fire and smoke.

I had a little more fun with the angel trueforms. to start off, i wanted them to just be pure energy at their core. they're basically like stars in my head. just this dense ball of light and power, that's all an angel is to me. but you can't do battle with just a ball of light, because that's too abstract to serve the purposes of this action scene. and like they can't really have human vessels because this is a corporeal battle, but it's still a realm where human bodies cannot really survive. so i figured it could be like the angels are always in a false skin, unless it's like a very dire situation. this false skin is part of them, but it helps them channel their power in a way that's easier to direct and control. so like a scene like this where cas is able to point a sword - which is also part of his grace btw - at a demon

'We fall fast,' he prays to Heaven, splitting his sword in two, fending off a new wave of demons. 'We cannot hold the line for much longer.'

v/s the scene later in the fic where he just like breathes destruction when he's shed his false skin.

The very touch of his divine light is corrosive to the children of Lucifer. It is barely a battle, this time. The wave disappears in one burst — a single, blinding pulse of his grace that echoes off the walls of Hell.

you know? like this pure grace warfare is clearly more effective but it would just straight up decimate everything around it and that's like not helpful if you have people on your side also. also even this little pulse leaves cas "winded" which is like how i wanted to show that this is like a significantly taxing thing to do also and not sustainable for like a long battle.

and because it was fun, i decided that the false skin is pretty much malleable as long as the angel is in control, and not hurt too badly. which is why cas shapeshifts throughout the battle into a form that better serves him in the scuffle with his current opponent. i don't think i was thinking much beyond look they're like so powerful what's the point if they can't do cool shit! ( this is also why there's sword splitting. i just really liked the visual of the magic grace sword splitting in two because it's just. SO COOL. and im a sucker for a sick image!!!) despite all this, the stakes are still high, because the demons are just as powerful, or even if they're less powerful, they make up for it in numbers. and that like balances things out.

from a character perspective, this scene did a lot of heavylifting for me. like it's not the best done but ttwoat is mostly just a cas character study. it's about cas' ability for kindness and love, and his impulsive behaviours and his struggle to do the right thing, his justifications for choosing his paths, the inevitable fallout because he really DOES NOT THINK IT THROUGH. and like what this turns him into in the end, because he's almost too scared to reach for the things he wants because he's learned time and time again that his wants tend to result in terrible things. in the first section, raphael protects him in some capacity. here, there's no one around to do it. he is in fact responsible for other angels also.

i didn't do a lot of research for this fic because it was really just an impulsive writing thing, so i don't know if this is how military actually did battle, and if this makes any proper sense for someone who would know the mechanics of like warfare, but in MY HEAD, i was thinking this is sort of like how it is in the movies? like the armies send in their foot soldiers and then there's the cavalry, and the king's pretty much not joining the fray unless he absolutely has to. so that's what's heaven's doing here, essentially. they know where dean's soul is, and they could probably reach it if michael and raphael like came down from the heavens, but it's demeaning to fight a small battle with lower order demons? i guess? they're just sending in these garrisons before to basically just clear a path through the mess of hell. in this fic, uriel is fully right. they *are* canon fodder. they're just here until the next wave shows up and the one after that and so on until hell is retreating and michael can come pick his prize up.

and like they don't tell the angels this because they want no doubts and full devotion and they just expect them to do what it takes. if they beat the demons, great. if they die, well. they were gonna die in the apocalypse anyway. i don't think they're abandoned, i just think heaven is disinterested in their safety or in expending more than it has to at once. which is why when cas is getting worried about the overwhelming forces in battle and he prays, there's no answer. and the thing about cas is like. he is IMPATIENT.

Revelation remains scarce.  Castiel grows restless.  They may have been 'canon fodder' to Zachariah, but he does not intend to die in the Pit.   He does not intend to lose this battle.  Or his garrison.

he doesn't take well to being out of control, and he has terrible short sight, and he'll do anything for a cause he believes in. which in this case is saving his immediate garrison. and himself. mostly. he just does not want to die. it really is as simple as that in the moment. and he's willing to do god level stupid shit to avoid that one consequence. which is very cas of him honestly.

so he decides to just be like. well. why are we here? for the human soul right? fine. i'll go get it and we can stop this! (also i generally love the idea that cas was NOT supposed to be the one to reach dean. he just, like, did. because he made a stupid harebrained choice. <3)

also again. just love the idea that humans and angels are all just like very dense little balls of energy at their core. and this energy is something that can be corrosive to hell. so his in-moment justification for like, claiming a soul -- which in this fic, my idea was like, michael was supposed to claim dean's soul because then they'll be bonded and then the human body that'll be forged for dean will accept michael even better and like when it comes down to it, he'll be reinforced because of their bond etc etc like the profound bond is very much a thing that was supposed to be manufactured between dean and michael and cas was just like no. <3 i'll take that. <3 -- is basically that it is a huge exothermic reaction. and he thinks he can create enough of a break in the battle and enough destruction in hell in general for him and his garrison to retreat, AND they would also have dean with them it's a foolproof plan!

(except for the part where he isn't supposed to do that and he might not know that michael was planning on doing it for a reason like by being told about it but he's not stupid he's just choosing to ignore it because he's crazyyyyy love and light.)

and so he's like. well. let me go get the michael sword! and he falls in love!!! <33333

PS: added the bit about his form being serpentine, and also there is a small line later in the fic about him being the first angel to be so deep in hell only after lucifer because even though i don't talk about it all that much i am always thinking about the parallels between lucifer and cas' arc and it is all FASCINATING to me like he IS a little serpentine ykwimmmmmm

ooof okay omg this got so long im so sorry but it's so fun to talk about ttwoat!! thanks so much for the ask, hope you had a little fun with it too!! <333

#doe's inbox #ttwoat #director's commentary #ask game

[archer3-13]

been passively watching the latest rick and morty season just to see what they do after s6 being a big cloud of nothing. overall s7 feels a lot more tightly paced and written overall, the meta commentary on story writing and production issues are majorly toned down so far, and the new voice actors are doing an admirable job.

but, like the past few seasons i cant really say im digging much of anything they're doing. and i think the latest evil morty prime rick episode highlighted why. i dont mind the evil morty backstory stuff or the prime rick stuff at the end but...

why a machine that kills all versions of a person across all realities? i can see its theoretical value as a means of adding "le stakes" to whatever comes next but at the same time i feel like it actually does more to devalue whats happened and will happen. ricks search for diane despite its self admitted cliched nature did have some poignant value because it was a man who had access to a theoretical infinite thread of replacement dianes to chose from refusing to do so because he valued his diane, irrationally, more.

throwing in a machine that killed all variations of diane across all the multiverses takes the wind out of that and somehow makes it more cliched, because then its not a case of ricks irrational attachment to a specific version of a specific person instead becoming a case of literally being incapable of accessing any variation of that person because they're all dead.

and in that same vein it ironically, considering how the episode ends, it adds more importance to his search for prime rick because the dude erased someone from all realities. it no longer remains a personal vendetta with disastrous collateral damage, prime rick is just another super villain thanos asshole in terms of the scale of his ambitions.

and its a bad habit of the show where it keeps wanting to have dramatic stakes and in order to get those stakes it keeps kneecapping its characters to get those stakes. meaning i find myself caring less and less for those stakes because its completely hobbled its characters!!

#rick and morty #s7 spoilers #kinda

[bonniebird]

Klaus x Reader

Requested by @haven-raven012591​

Halloween event

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You’d been avoiding Klaus. You’d heard about him. Who hadn’t? He’d caught glimpses of you around and you made sure that was as close as he got. You didn’t need a Mikaelson sniffing around. 

That plan completely fell apart when you received a leaflet through your door. It was advertising an art exhibit celebrating October. You decided that it would be nice to go and seeing as Cami had cancelled your plans you had nothing else to do. 

The art was interesting. Each section had several pieces from each different artist throughout New Orleans. There were more exhibits further in the city. Markers had been put up for those who wanted to take the tour. While the idea intrigued you, you hadn’t been in town long enough to know your way around.

"Heard you’re new in town. Want someone to show you around?" When you turned to see who had spoken you saw Klaus.

“I’m not done here.” You said as you took him in. Klaus had never been this close to you before. You could see the different shades of colour in his eyes, soft in the gentle lighting.

“Well. I know a few of the artists. I could fill you in if you like.” He smiled at you as you glanced around and leaned in. “Don’t worry. We’re in a crowded room. I won't bite.” 

“I didn’t think you would.” You tried your best not to sound as if you were lying. He looked at you as if he knew you’d lied but continued to offer his arm and tour you around the exhibit again. Admittedly his commentary on the art added to your enjoyment but against better judgement you let him guide you through the city and along the walking art tour. The evening ended with the two of you drinking and eating snacks in the Quarter while you watched a parade. You knew it was a performance by the witches in the Quarter, you recognised Davina among them. You got the sense that Klaus was trying to gauge whether or not you knew any of the witches so you kept your expression blank and focused on your drink.

Klaus tags:

@stellasblog @DeanWinchestersgirl87 @thekayarlene @linkpk88 @babypink224221 @lisainhell @spiderwebs-blog @gryffindorqueensworld @rockyrascal @twerp8999 @sairamccall11 @theletterhart @bluebear142077 @boardstomymood @greekktragedyy @alexxavicry @daughterofthenight117 @multi-fandom5 @rafecameronswhore @akshi8278 @kaylantus @ssa--holmes @skinny-bitch-juice @salemsnothere @supernatural-wolfie @yougottalovefandoms @sentimentalweasley @why-am-I-here-01 @maxineswritingcenter @babygrinchsblog @alwaysadreamingoptimist @love1deandra @wittiestrain184 @archaeologydigit @im-eating-rn @bucketbunny @littlefreakingfangirl @jayyeahthatsme @thebookisbtr @gillybear17 @gatefleet @bluejaysaysstuff @dontjudgeabookbythecover @lucyqueenofthestars @Kaitieskidmore1 @stupendousbelieverzombie @bluejaysaysstuff @123cxcv @slxthxrxn-sxmp @hc-geralt-23 @readingbookelf @gatefleet @amournoir @witch-of-letters

#klaus mikaelson #klaus mikaelson x reader #bonniebird #halloween2022

[quodekash]

its 7 in the morning, i have a little time, lets roll (the commentary for just this one episode is gonna be a mess lmao)

FLASHBACK TIMEEE

little baby gun wearing glasses- hes so tinyyyy

I LOVE HERRRR

THE SONGGGGG

oh my gosh its not city its a silly song about a bullfrog i love this

aw mannnn he was jokinggggg

i love how theyre speeding up some bits, but other parts theyre adding more detail because it works better for the characters

CITYYYYYY

"im sorry, bro" I LOVE HIS ENGLISH WORDS

I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS UNIVERSE POR, WHY IS HE NOT FLUENT IN THAI

CAPTAIN PORRRR

and so the captaincy begins

good luck por

IMAGINARY TINN IMAGINARY TINN IMAGINARY TINN

IMAGINARY GUN SCENES ARE MY FAVOURITES

IMAGINARY GUNNNNNNN

i love forth so much hes such a good actor i love him i love him

tinn's little chants and then the ear blows like its some kind of magic spell RHJBGH

WAIT A SEC IT JUST OCCURRED TO ME

SOUNDWIN HAVE SWITCHED

DOES THAT MEAN SOUND IS THE ONE TO CONSTANTLY FALL ASLEEP IN CLASS??

pls let that be the case

i could have so many thoughts and headcanons if that's the case

GIJREKDBG I LOVE THAT BOTH SOUND AND WIN ARE HERE FOR THE EXAM PASSING STUFF

YO WITH THE DISBANDING NONSENSE

also win's expressions and mannerisms and stuff are gonna be excellent for an in depth analysis of sound later

i know ive done a million in depth analyses of sound

but you can never have too many

"i feel at ease now" "i somehow feel like we're getting a full score" i love this so much, i love them so much

CHINZHILLAAAAA

"will he have time for us?" "OF COURSE" this is so funny and amazing and perfect and all the good words

cos theyre literally in the same room. why wouldnt he hear them? and they needed to progress the plot. and gun would do that, whereas tinn wouldnt actually say anything.

I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH

"dont doubt nosy guys like us" lmao theyre not even trying to think about a cover story, just 'hey, you know we're nosy.'

I LOVE THAT SOUND IS SPEAKING UP MORE OFTEN BC HE'S THE WIN IN THIS SCENARIO HFBGHRB

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

COMFORT CHARACTER GO BRRRR

okay ive finished 2/4 and now i need to go again

IM BACK! to you guys that was no time at all, for me that was 12 painful hours

my friend went further ahead than me and sent me a few clips and hOLY HELL i have felt like im missing out ALL DAY

BUT WE'RE HERE NOW

EWVOUSDLV

THE HEART GRAPH SCENE BUT REVERSED GRBGHDB THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY

ITS LIKE EXACTLY THE SAME

BUT ITS DIFFERENT BECAUSE THEYRE DIFFERENT PEOPLE

GIUEJSBD I LOVE IT

"i didnt mean to kiss you" PFFFFT GBRSDHXGB I LOVE THIS

GHREBDFG ALL OF THE FRIENDS SITTING AT THE TABLE

1. I LOVE ALL THEIR GROUP DYNAMICS SO MUCH

2. THE WAY THEYRE ALL WHINING AND COMPLAINING AND TALKING OVER EACH OTHER LIKE LITTLE KIDS GBFDGHBH

"I DONT HAVE ANY!" you dont have any.

like. what.

you have. no food?

h- how-

"if youre hungry, go eat somewhere else" damn bro

i do like that gun has kept his temper tho

theyre the same people as the originals, just in different situations and with different contributing factors and i could think about this for so long i love this so much holy hell

"why did you invite them" "my friends are stupid" i mean, is he wrong?

THE PARALLEL OF TINN/GUN YELLING AT GUN/TINN AND POR/TIW TAKING THEM AWAY FROM THE GROUP AND SAYING "thats your baby" GEHRSBGD

HIS EYES GOT SO SUDDENLY WIDE WHAT THE HELL

I NEARLY FELL OFF MY BED

TIW IS SO SILLY IN THIS UNIVERSE

I LOVE IT SO MUCH

I LOVE SILLY TIW

omg all of them chanting 'hot pot'- its like little children begging for mcdonalds

poor gun and por have to deal with these children

i love them

GUYS WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING SO EVILLY

YOU FORGET, THE PEOPLE BEHIND YOU ARE IDIOTS

THEYRE GONNA THINK YOURE PLOTTING THEIR MURDER OR SOMETHING

either that or they just. wont notice the very loud evil laughter coming from the corner.

both options are equally plausible.

oh they got louder

i think they noticed

OHHHH, THIS IS WHERE THE MOTORBIKE SCENE IS FROMMMMM

SOUNDS MOTORBIKE- COS SOUND WOULD HAVE THE MOTORBIKE IN THIS VERSION, NOT WIN

GRJBDGJEBRD

my brain is playing the freaking soundwin motorbike scene but with the roles reversed and im-

HEARTLIMING NOW IM THINKING OF HEARTLIMING

SOUNDWINDIDITFIRST

theyre really just copying from soundwin even in different universes, damn

why does sound have little boots on his keychain

gotta love the (not at all) subtle advertisement

SOUNDWINDIDITFIRSTSOUNDWINDIDITFIRSTSOUNDWINDIDITFIRST

ITS LIKE SHOT-FOR-SHOT THE EXACT SAME SCENE

THEYRE NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE ORIGINAL ANYMORE, THEY KNOW SOUNDWIN IS BETTER

no hate to tinngun, i love them

but also. soundwin.

SOUNDWIN STUDY SCENE YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES MY FRIEND TOLD ME ABOUT THIS

this is gonna be entirely keysmashes

holy hell

the question is: am i gonna survive this

THE WAY WIN IS LOOKING AT SOUND

BOY YOURE WHIPPED AS FU-

"sounds studying mode. how cute!" HEEEEELLLPPP

and yes, i am aware, this scene is tinngun did it first. and yes. its also basically frame for frame. but soundwin did it first in most cases so i stand by this

GU4OEBSDJL

DUDE THATS A LONG FREAKING TIME

HOW DO YOU SIT FOR THAT LONG

holy hell i cant wait for my sound adhd hcs to finally be justified

sorry i have to keep pausing it so that i can just. take a sec. and process what's just happened.

and also to get out the million streams of thoughts that pop into my head

so yeah

THESE EPISODES ARE GONNA BE GREAT FOR AGGRESSIVELY ANALYSING ALL OF MY BOYS GERDJHGBF I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

FREAKING.👏 MOOD.👏

THEHANDSTHEHANDSTHEHANDSTHEHANDSTHEHANDSTHEHANDS

I NEED HELP

WIN'S LITTLE SMILE- IM DYING MY HEART IS EXPLODING MY SOUL IS IN THE ROOF HELP

SATANGS VOICE IS SO CUTE WHEN HE GOES NA NA NA NA NAAA

I LOVE HIM

guess who just squeak-squealed

me

they freaking played the freaking no one else like me track

and i know they play it over every important soundwin moment

but its like

directed at sound

rather than from sound

like. as if the song is coming from win's brain and not sounds.

like. as if. as if win sings the song in this universe.

SERIOUSLY I NEED IT SO MCUH

I KNOW IT HAPPENED IN MY SCHOOL PRESIDENT LIVE ON STAGE

BUT IT NEVER HAPPENED IN THE ACTUAL SERIES

AND IF IT HAPPENS HERE THEN THERE'S A CHANCE THAT ITLL BE ON SPOTIFY

PLEASE I NEED IT

DESPERATELY

GIMME

i think ive ascended into another plane of existence

i cannot- how do you- how does function

TIWPOR

GJERBSG

desperately hoping for more than crumbs, that they actually commit to the tiwpor in this version

(which i know they do because of the clips my friend sent me and im so excited to experience this firsthand)

omg

this part

my friend sent me this part

i think im going to explode

GOUERJHDGOIJBERNO;FDGLJKNV4OERIJDFBGNOI4ELRJDNGIO34HEIRDGOIH34ERDIOGHK34ERPOIDLKGN34EIORDGNV3EIO4RDJNGO3IE4RHNDGOI4EHRINDNG9OIH3N4ERO8DIGH340IEORHG0IO34BERDOB

PLEASE

IT DOESNT FEEL REAL

HELP

HE SAID IT

HE SAID THE THING

AND TIW'S SWEET LITTLE INNOCENT FACE- WHAT THE HELLLLLL

I AM DYINGGGGG

tiwpor exist

they actually exist

"i like it" "you like me?" EGIRBJKS

COS TIW, BEING TIW AND NOT POR, IS NOT SUPER OBLIVIOUS AND INNOCENT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"ill teach you later." "promise me, okay?" BRO THEYRE PLANNING A DATE. THATS WHAT THIS IS. THIS IS A DATE. WHAT THE HELL.

THE PINKIES

AND COME CLOSER PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND

JUST STAB ME IN THE HEART ALREADY

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

AND THEY JUST. STAND THERE LIKE THAT.

even the camera angle is exactly the same as the original. i swear they just filmed this on the same day. surely. its so similar.

also random thought: WHERE THE HELL IS MY BOY JORN

PUT YOUR HEAD ON HIS HANDS

PLEASE PUT YOUR HEAD ON HIS HANDS

por speaking english >>>>>>

lets. lets not get into that territory.

we dont need daddy kinks, thank you very much.

i cant explain it but i love the way theyre standing

win with his arms crossed

sound with hands on hips

its very Dads of them

mood

HUGS ALL ROUND

TINNGUN HUG

TIWPOR HUG

SOUNDWIN HUG

THE FREAKING ARM OVER THE SHOULDER

THE FREAKING GRIN

THE WAY WIN IS LOOKING AT SOUND

THE FREAKING LINGERING HAND AT HIS HIP???? HEEEEEELLLPPPP

"pat, should we hug too" lmao yopat felt left out

POR SPEAKING ENGLISH >>>>>>>>>

ITS ALWAYS SO JARRING BUT I LOVE IS SO MUCH

TINNGUN SLEEPOVERRRRRRRRRR

OH COS SOUND IS SNORING

THEYRE ALL SLEEPING OVER AT GUN'S PLACE

WAIT YOU NEED TO GIVE ME MORE DETAIL

WHO IS SLEEPING IN A ROOM TOGETHER

HOW MANY ROOMS ARE THERE

all we know is gun and por shared a room, and tinn and sound shared a room. where are the rest of them? was win perhaps also in the same room as sound and tinn? now that tinn is gone, what does this mean for soundwin? PLEASE

"tinn, have you fallen asleep?" dude. you lied down like. ten seconds ago. hes not gonna be asleep yet.

the dancinggggg i love themmmmm

gay panic gun is my favourite

i love him

BRO GUN IS BOLD

WHY MUST TINN FALL ASLEEP

gun burying his face in his pillow and squealing and kicking his feet- that has been me this whole episode. I LOVE PORGUN'S FRIENDSHIP MORE THAN ANYTHING

BROOOOOOOOOO

WIN ASKING TO CHANGE PARTNERS, BROOO

HE'S JUST GOING THROUGH THE EXACT SAME THING THAT GUN'S GOING THROUGH

HES GAY AND HIS HEART CANT TAKE IT

AND NEITHER CAN MINE

DANCE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND, WIN

guys.

guys.

why are you switching partners.

dont do that.

you havent practiced with each other.

I NEED SOUDNWIN

also: TIWPORTIWPORTIWPORTIWPOR

COME CLOSERRRRR I LOVE THIS SONG

its slightly different somehow

i like it

its so awkward with the partners tho

YES I AM IMMEDIATELY TEARING UP

GUYS THEYRE DOING THE MSP LIVE ON STAGE CHOREO

TIWPOR ARE GONNA DANCE TOGETHER

SOUNDWIN ARE GONNA DANCE TOGETHER

IM GONNA DIE

HELP

THE CHOREOGRAPHY IS SO PRETTYYYYYYYYY

literally just had to shut my laptop for a sec there

holy hell

they mean too much to me

how do i process this

theyre dancing together

soundwin are dancing together

THIS

FREAKING

CHOREOGRAPHY

the yopat is confusing me but im digging it

THE WAY THEYRE GAZING INTO EACH OTHERS EYES, LIKE THERES NOTHING BUT THEM TWO, JUST THEM, FOR ETERNITY, DANCING TOGETHER, THEIR WHOLE WORLD IS NOTHING BUT HIS EYES AND HIS HANDS AND THEIR FEET AS THEY DANCE AROUND THE ROOM, ENTRANCED BY EACH OTHER

guys this freaking choreography. guys. look at the choreography. whoever the choreographer is. i lvoe them so much. this is amazing.

i need to play this clip on repeat for the rest of eternity

TIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIW

DANG IT I RAN OUT OF IMAGES HANG ON

#quodekash watches our skyy 2 despite desperately needing to sleep #soundwin did it first #soundwin #winsound #satangwinny #winnysatang #winny thanawin #satang kittiphop #my school president #my school president the series #tinngun #guntinn #geminifourth #gemini norawit #fourth nattawat #tiwpor #tiwsonpor #markford #mark pakin #ford allan #ford arun #prom theepakon #captain passatorn #phat msp #msp phat #pat msp #msp pat #yo msp #msp yo