#im not changing too much about them

[puppyeared]

updated Sleight ref!!

#i changed his colors !! #treat this as a suggestion than a solid ref. i spent like 3 hours drawing and redrawing the legs bc i couldnt get the shape right so if u #wanna draw them more planti or digi i do not mind ^_^ get silly with it!! same goes for pelt pattern do whatevr u want with it #the pelt pattern is loosely based on a snowshoe cat which was fun to play with. as u can see they kinda have a butterfly motif going on #if u squint the ear tufts kinda resemble luna moths or swallowtails with the long tail at the end of the wings #i was kinda torn about changing the costume color but it clashed too much with the new color palette so i had to change it #i didnt include the cape here so its easier to see the costume but ill draw it another time if i remember lol #its also a lil hard to see but i put pinstripes on their pants but thats optional. their design is pretty flexible anyway #god im pretty attached to this guy already. hes like semi fan character semi regular character... oc... thing #i should draw more furries. i followed some furry artists for giggles recently and its true what they say. u need furries in your life #btw while i was drawing this i was fooling around while trying to figure out his costume color and colored it as kaito kids suit for fun #and i just stared at it for a solid 5 minutes before saving a picture. maybe ill post it later #my art #myart #my oc #oc #furry art #fur #furry #laika's comet #laika's comet oc #fan character #sleight #ref sheet #oc ref sheet

[sandinmybed]

can i be fr for a minute?? sending abuse to people online for holding different views than you is not activism and in fact actively hurts your cause. most people are not extreme in their viewpoints, you can give them a new perspective if you're willing to spend some time explaining shit. if someone is saying something you disagree with and you rush in there to condescend to them and call them disgusting and subhuman and dont even TRY to explain calmly why their views are harmful, they're going to shut you out instantly and double down on their views.

most people are simply genuinely ignorant to the issues they're talking about - they just pick their views up from the news and the world around them and express opinions because that's what every person does. if you run in there and tell them they're scum for it, what then? if someone does that to you, are you going to think "maybe i should do some research" or are you going to think "this person is an asshole, im blocking them." a lot of you think you're activists and then refuse to do any kind of actual WORK to support your cause.

#this is not about the isr*el thing even tho thats obviously a huge issue rn #its just a pattern ive observed online #im not saying you have to be kind to people who oppress you dont twist my words #but if youre trying to support any cause and you think calling people names is going to help #youre a fucking idiot lol #people call themelves activists and pro-X cause because they called their opposition dirty c*nts online #how the hell is that meant to help anyone? theyre just going to retreat into their propaganda chambers because you proved what the leaders #of those spaces have been telling them #you can obvs block people if you dont want to deal w them but thats a neutral action. sending abuse harms ur cause. #text #like educating ignorant people is hard work! yeah! its also the entire fucking point of activisim #and if you think its too much effort then just stop pretending you give a shit tbh #like my parents managed to change our neighbour's very xenophobic stance on migrants with a calm conversation #some people will listen and some wont and shes not exactly going out to protests for migrants rights but shes not hostile anymore #and a lot of yall think that isnt good enough but let me tell you it IS good because these things take time! #unlearning things is MUCH harder than learning them in the first place and a lot of people grew up in environments that taught them #very discriminatory and conservative views and its actually not their fault. and its hard to educate yourself differently on something you #have no idea is not true. where do you start w that?

[vigilskeep]

ranking da love interests on a scale of how unhinged theyd be if their beloved was made tranquil (they would all be maximum unhinged its just a matter of deciding what flavour)

#like theres obvious ones like anders canonically would mercy kill and then burn down the world about it #and thats stellar beautiful no notes #but we gotta get into the others #for example i’d kill to see what sebastian’s little vengeance fuelled heart would get up to #not to mention that i have no idea if this is a good read or not bc i still havent played the romance but #he strikes me as a guy who would just stay devoted married to his tranquil spouse his entire life #it seems like something he would do. #and a bizarre political scenario it makes <3 fascinating vibes at starkhaven parties #i feel like other people it would hurt too much to be around them or they would feel it wasnt really them anymore #but to seb he made a vow and he has a wife those things havent changed even if so much else has #which would be crazy if anders was alive to hate it. and the implications abt hawke then. okay im going to stop talking im inventing #entire scenarios now

[w1f1n1ghtm4r3]

started playing a pmd eos randomizer today... got very attached to my hero/partner duo already. lilac the gligar and orion the heracross :)

#pokemon #pokemon mystery dungeon #pokemon mystery dungeon oc #pmd explorers #pmd eos #gligar #heracross #w1f1 draws #lilac is the hero and orion is the partner #they have randomized abilities which has resulted in uh. #lilac having color change (which inspired me to give her the color splotches) and oblivious #and orion having natural cure and FUCKING SLOW START. im a little mad about that #but i like the two of them too much to rerandomize..... #i wanted to mess around with appearances a bit hence lilacs color splotches and orions white spots #(which are meant to look like stars because hes named after a constellation)

[mueritos]

its crazy how coming into clinical social work, i really just thought I was up against systems and cycles of trauma....but it turns out i'm up against those two things AND other therapists. the amount of work spent correcting mistakes from other clinicians--whether with clients or during the classroom--is fucking crazy.

i totally get we're all on different journeys in terms of being clinicians. but it is insane finding out day after day of therapists and clinicians saying the worst things ever to clients. demeaning them, telling them "it's all in their head", the racism and the ableism and harm that is caused. like no fucking wonder people are afraid to seek therapy (on top of the accessibility issues). while i'm a little biased and think that at the very least clinical social work training focuses on viewing people within their environments (so not engaging in the medical/individualist models of practice that a lot of counseling programs focus on), that doesn't mean it gives every person the skills to be an effective therapist. i'm also not saying i'm the best clinician ever--I'm literally in training--but boy! it is jarring seeing how some of my peers interact in class and wondering...is that how you are with your clients??

my social work program at the very least also has a focus on anti-racism, but i know students from other programs and some of them don't even mention racism AT ALL and focus entirely on diagnosing people "correctly", or finding the perfect form of therapy to use on a client. but man, what none of these programs teach are basic life skills. wanting to be a clinician isn't enough, especially considering that an inhumane amount of people in my program are 1. so nervous about making mistakes that they lose scope of their practice 2. have so much internalized racism/white guilt to work thru 3. or they have absolutely no listening skills.

again, im not trying to make it seem like I am the number 1 clinician in the world ever. I don't even have a psych background or bachelor's in social work. my reasons for going into social work are quite selfish (I want a job that is very flexible, easily transferable, and can be done in different contexts), and the helping people part is just a plus. i'm just saying it's very jarring seeing other people in training and realizing they too are working with clients. i have conversation after conversation about these issues with other BIPOC/queer/marginalized clinicians, so I know i'm not the only person worried about some of the people that will be out of this program in a few years practicing on their own or with vulnerable populations.

#muerto talks #just rambling #maybe im just a hater virgo with a strong sense of justice #i am just forever perplexed #learning that some of my classmates believe that you can be racist to white people is crazy #learning that some of my classmates are rude and dismissive to BIPOC students but they work in BIPOC communities #learning that some of my classmates weaponize their mental illnesses as an excuse to act shitty to professors classmates or clients is craz #there are zionists??? trying to be social workers?????? #i literally have classes with zionists #some people r doing a whole ass career change because they had a spiritual calling to help people?? #again not saying im such a great clinician im in training just like the rest of my program #but you cannot like tell me to even try to be hopeful about some of the people who will be my collegues in a year #because i have no hope for them #and its going to take making serious mistakes for them to maybe snap out of it #and that fucking sucks #nothing in my body feels safe around those people #like idc maybe im an elitist with impossible standards #maybe im the one asking too much from these people..... #the cognitive dissonance is real in these people man

[selective-yellow]

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i wanted to work on my horse faces and at the same time realized it was time to make myself a fursona! i really liked zebras as a kid, and my ponysona was a gold zebra so let's commit! working on one for my wife next :)

#my art #artists on tumblr #furry #furry art #ponysona #actual outfit and actual phone that im on way too much lmao #i like spelling gray with an e normally but i wanted her to be different from monty and i also learned greyscale is a GOT disease??????? #i'd like to make a post about it but im working on my relationship with the nb flag/label. my pronouns havent changed #but butch & nb together feels very comfy rn. like using them together instead of trying to decide between them feels right :> #~dhahabu dhahabu / so give it up for the golden zebra~~

[distressed-bird]

Kalina is the most interesting character to me because of all she has going on…

she is Cassandra’s familiar, she is simultaneously a pet and a friend and a servant and a family to a goddexx that is simultaneously her owner and friend and creator and parent and her god and reason to be—Kalina’s relationship to Cassandra is hard to put a name or label on (since what does being a familiar even mean?) but the bottomline is that this cat loves her deity enough to put everything and everyone on the line for her…

And adding in that she is a child of divorce. So to speak. I am extremely normal and haven’t been driven mad by the detail that baby itty bitty kitty Kalina was at Cassandra’s wedding to Ankarna and is remembered to have been toddling after her as she walked down the aisle…

Kalina will be the death of me /lh

#fhjy spoilers #fantasy high junior year #kalina #oh my god and the fact Kalina was there at that wedding—there at the period of time where Ankarna was alive and still a known god and not #presumed dead… this makes the Sylvairean Heresy even WORSE of a life event for Kalina and Cassandra… #the existence of baby kalina implies that Cassandra *raised* Kalina… and the fact they were married means that Kalina wouldn’t have been #raised by only Cassandra but *also* Ankarna. #you are Kalina and one of your parents just was killed by your uncle—their domains were too alike—and you can never talk about them again. #you can never speak their name—share in their memory—the only place they exist is quietly in your memories that must go unspoken due to #Oblivata Mori. And there’s nothing you can do about it… #And then the followers and clerics of your remaining parent start trying to kill her—being mislead by the followers of your goddexx’ sister #Cassandra is the only family Kalina has left—and Kalina’s sentience leds me to think she agreed to become a Curse #kalina let herself be unmade and changed to keep Cassandra alive… and even as the shell of herself—a familiar once but now a living plague— #is so deeply loyal and only interested in what is to the benefit of her *everything*… even if they are currently a Walking Corpse. #Kalina dislike Kristen so much because Kristen is just not being a good cleric and is in the precarious spot of being Cassandra’s only #follower… but ultimately won’t harm or attack Kristen—killing herself first—because Kristen is the only one keeping Cassandra uncorrupted. #yeah im crazy about the relationship and history between a cat familiar and her witch goddess and the layers of their relationship

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

this is how it feels to chew 5 gum being a barnaby/howdy enjoyer. im Unwell

#im just staring at a wall rotating them in my brain. constantly. no coherent thoughts theyre just There #its like... hate to Expose myself but yk that one supernatural episode #that was filmed like a mockumentary by the Ghost Hunter Guys. yk the episode with the 'gay love saves the day' quote #yeah yk the scene where the guys are screaming trying to escape cas but everywhere they turn / each door they open Cas Is There #that is also what it feels like being a laughingstock enthusiast #im trying to escape it. i cant. theyre Everywhere. #i go to sleep thinking about them. i wake up and theyre one of my first thoughts #ITS TOO MUCH! theyre too good.... #if youre reading this and youre like 'theyre cute but i dont really ship them' #Its Already Too Late. #cause thats how i felt. i thought they were gonna be a silly nonserious concept in the back of my mind #a crackship yk #look at me now... #laughingstock #i thought franklydear was gonna be The Welcome Home Pairing for me #i love them so so so much theyre everything but laughingstock is More. Somehow. #then again! we'll see what new characters and dynamics arise in the future! things may change! #but for now... mentol ellness over the dog and the caterpillar #that sounds like a childrens book lmfao

[wybienova]

third time’s the charm - part 2

[masterpost]

decided im going to make more of this :] we doin a whole comic now!

part 1 here

#wybs art #at #adventure time #adventure time spoilers #adventure time fanart #yayyy im doing this now because . i think its fun. and i want fern to have an ok time #finn the human #finn mertens #jake the dog #once again debating if i should tag it as fern.... #i dont wanna clog the tag when hes not even in it . but also it kinda revolves around him ??? so #idk . ill do this one but idk about future ones #fern the human #oh god i just realized i made them say 'dude' too much . im thinkinabout this too hard arent i #also ignore how the tree keeps changing #fern comix

[jasperthehatchet]

I dont usually write posts about critical role but this episode did things to me and I have to talk about it right now right now right now don't mind me just yelling into the ether for a minute

the last half hour of ep77 just made me love Ashton (really everyone) so much more. They're being an INCONSIDERATE DICKSHIT and a HYPOCRITE with a MARTYR COMPLEX who makes HORRIBLE DECISIONS yesss gimme the complicated relationship dynamics and the morally gray moments AND THE ANGST. There's gonna be some good ass roleplay moments from this I feel it in my bones and it's gonna be DELICIOUS. Hey ashton greymoore my beloved shithead what is wrong with you <3

And it was such a sweet thing to look at Ashley Johnson/fearne and say "I see you don't want the shard and I want you to keep your characters agency I will take it" but then they were a fuckhead about it!!! Literally did a nice thing in the most fucked up way possible that it circled around to being terrible. I love that!!! Say what you will about this episode but by god is it entertaining. I ship callowmoore even more now that they have shit to work through. I love complicated relationships in fiction I am living!!!!

(i genuinely didn't like the very real tension at the table and had to skip it on Thursday night but! Im excited anyways!!! I'm having the time of my life)

Anyway <3 i love this show thanks for reading

#writing this partly because i knew immediately after watching there would be disk horse. i dont know about yall but im having a blast #like i totally understand that so many people are very attached to these characters and we want the best for them #i feel that way too. but im also seeing posts from people genuinely so mad at not only ashton but taliesin jaffe as well?? #I understand if youre upset about what they did but!!! so much Good Shit is gonna come out of this #good roleplay moments and angst and weird mechanics and its gonna impact the plot on the moon and angst and changes in character dynamics #and angst. #critical role #cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #critrole spoilers #ashton greymoore #fearne calloway #callowmoore #cr3 ep77 #ep77 #i will admit that if ashton had died i would've definitely been so upset and mad i wont lie. like im not gonna pretend i wouldve accepted it #but still. i respect everyone at the table too much to genuinely be upset with any of them for their character decisions #y'know

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

And another thing! Literally any queer story that takes place during the colonial age would have a huge gaping hole in it if it didn't have anticolonialism as a theme. Especially one that centers indigenous people. Like the reason that every culture had their own concepts of gender until something happened and then suddenly the gender binary was ubiquitous is because western European colonial powers made their view of gender the only acceptable one as part of christianizing and colonizing the world. You're not gonna have a show set in 1717 in the Caribbean where the love interest is a gay Maori man and the main deuteragonist is a non-binary mestizo catholic and just skip over colonialism. Like these are exactly the people who western gender roles are being forced on at fucking gun point during this era. Jim and Ed are both mixed race characters who's gender and sexual identities are in active defiance of the colonial powers that be. And this is the fucking Stede Ed and Jim show.

And there's something to be said for the fact that Stede's toxic masculinity plot line is internalized and Ed's struggle with toxic masculinity is largely external in the form a white guy who rubs elbows with the British Navy when Ed doesn't behave to his standard of masculinity. That choice didn't come out of nowhere and it shows a deep understanding of where homophobia comes from. That's not to say that precolonial communities of color were paradise for people that we today would consider queer but the rich tapestry of sexual and gender expressions that existed in those communities were erased in the name of colonialism. That's going to affect literally any queer person at the time when OFMD is set. These two things are inextricably linked.

Like when David Jenkins says a lot of what we're taught about being men is wrong, motherfucker who taught us what a man was. Who taught Ed what a man was? Who taught Stede what a man was for that matter? It's the white dad with the English accent who is violent (derogatory) and overbearing.

Like you get what I'm saying right? Like it's a silly little rom com but also it must necessarily be that deep because of who these characters are and when and where they exist.

#ofmd meta #Our Flag walks the line like a fucking tight rope acrobat and I'm not gonna let fake fans sleep on that #like they depict things aesthetically without actually depicting them sometimes #ill talk about the aesthetics of episode 9 all fucking day #in universe what happens is Ed signs a paper with an x either because hes illiterate or because he doesnt want to sign it #and is resting on the assumption that hes illiterate to get away with not signing it either as longform fuckery or to soften the blow #and he signs it to save his white boyfriend from getting fucking shot #and then he goes to a privateering academy where he does enjoy folding socks and he's liberated from his black beard and hes cool with that #everything is more or less his choice which makes it palatable and doesnt completely take the tone somewhere dark and harrowing #BUT ALSO what were seeing is the British Military forcing an indigenous man to sign a document and he does so with an x #and then taking him to a secondary fucking school ass school away from his community where hes forced to change his appearance #but also they let him keep his hair so that they dont step on that particular trauma #im vibrating what the fuck is this show #how do they do it? #Like seriously this has been a comedy show????? #And don't tell me I'm reading into it too much episode 2 primes us to think about colonialism

[volivolition]

don't talk to me or my son ever again

#de conceptualization #conceptualization #disco elysium #disco elysium skills #de skills #voliart #still trying to finalize a design for her (conceptualization not tangela hjkdshd) #i thought it'd be cool to put them in a frame? im still figuring out the logistics i want it to have. decided things (subject to change): #1) frame can shrink or grow as needed 2) frame floats 3) part of xer must always be passing through or touching the frame #4) frame is always aligned how the Square is aligned (so if the frame is facing horizontal the Square is also horizontal) #i might play with the canvas in the frame changing colors to suit her mood. it would be yellow here since xe's happy about tangela :) #i might also play with if xe can just hide parts of her body in the frame and not have them show on the other side? #maybe the frame grows with higher levels? and she just breaks out of the frame and goes fucking wild at max level. thats cool :] #anyway sidenote almost finished a different piece so thats exciting :3 i took a break and doodled a bunch of these little fellas #and then i drew this one with a tangela and laughed too much at it to not post it. this is so amusing to me hkdjd THE MOST CREATURE EVER!!

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

i dont think regular people can grasp how isolating it is to be that person who is always single in a society and environment where people are always dating, and dating is so culturally relevant. all my friends have had longterm/serious relationships and even when theyre single they are usually seeing someone. im seeing someone maybe 2 months a year on average but im „true single“ most of the time and dont really get into relationships at all. and its always been this way.

and with age and thanks to getting more into feminism i know that my selfworth and value as a person does not rely on dating. in fact most relationships i see are dysfunctional or with men i would not want to be with (im saying men because they are usually the problem, but also because most men are just unattractive on top). and i think that promoting to women that being single is okay and good actually is really important. that you can very much be happy without a relationship.

nonetheless there is of course the human need for affection, a longing for romantic/sexual companionship (i know some people dont have that and it doesnt make them less human but i think its normal human desire that cant be unconditioned, and i dont even think that should be the goal). and you can barely protect yourself from sociocultural messaging which is additionally enforcing it. even if you rationally know that there is nothing wrong with being single, especially as a woman its difficult to shake this feeling of being a failure. always seeing your friends go through the motions while you remain the same. etc

anyways im really vulnerable right now if any insane women want to take advantage of me…

#personal #how do they even meet all these people who are mutually interested in them? #especially now that im not doing one night stands and casual hookups just for the sex anymore im moving towards restoring my virginity #and im a really rare case too because my ‚body count‘ is way above average (not counting prostitution for obvious reasons) #but ive more or less always been single #i dont want the people who want me and with the people i want it never works out #and i know it doesnt help im mentally ill and sexually and otherwise traumatised and loud and annoying and harsh but i swear im such a #loving and caring person to the people close to me and i have so much love to give #and it only happened recently i decided i actually want a relationship i was always very anti relationship #my friends are shocked about my change of heart! but alas my life carries on as it was

[even-disco-baby]

YOU — “No. There is still a chance.”

DOLORES DEI — “You think so?” Her voice is weary.

EMPATHY — Everything about her is weary. She is the Innocence of weariness, of heroically borne suffering.

CONCEPTUALIZATION — That is the picture you have painted for yourself, at any rate.

YOU — “You looked back. That’s the memory, the moment, that I can’t stop returning to. You looked back. I had a chance, for just that moment…”

DOLORES DEI — She meets your eye, gaze still forever cast back over her shoulder. Time stops. The stars are stilled, the ocean silent. There is *nothing* beyond this memory. Nothing at all. All of infinity is contained in this single moment when anything and everything was possible.

“Oh, Harry…” She sighs, soft as eiderdown. “We never had any chance.”

And just like that, the wave of time collapses under its own weight, obliterating everything. This moment was six years ago. She is gone from here. Gone, gone…

PAIN THRESHOLD — You cannot leave. There was nothing outside of this moment, and now there is nothing at all. It’s all gone. There is no point. I’m sorry. I can’t do this any longer.

VOLITION — Please, don’t say that…

“Okay. Well, fuck me, then.”

“How would *you* know?! You gave up! You didn’t even try!”

“We *must* have had a chance, at some point… Doesn’t everyone get a chance, if nothing more?”

“How could you say that…?”

DOLORES DEI — “Because it’s true,” she says, matter-of-fact. “There is no moment in time that you can turn back to, no branching paths, no infinity. There is only what happened. I looked back… and then away.” She closes her eyes, turning her back to you.

“The moment ended. *We* ended. That is all.”

SHIVERS — A wave crashes against an unseen shore, ocean spray tickling the back of your neck. You shiver, but no one shivers with you. You are alone in this intersection. Why are you here?

“Why can’t *I* end?! Why can’t this all just stop? Please, make it stop…”

“Ended? I’ve barely even started! I got a chance to start completely over as somebody new! I don’t need you anymore! You’re just dead weight to me now.”

“No. That wasn’t the real ending. We’re a part of something so much bigger than this intersection, telling a story that encapsulates all of history! There’s *more* to this, it *means* something.”

“Then… What am I supposed to do now…?”

DOLORES DEI — “No, Harry.” She turns back to you again now, and she looks… sad.

“We were not metaphors. We were people. Our narrative was not intelligently designed. It simply followed the patterns of history, because those are the only patterns we *know.* We tried to create something new, but we failed. There is no narrative reward for our failure, no satisfactory ending. There is only the immutable past and the unknowable future.”

RHETORIC — There is no assurance of what is good or deserved or what may bring relief. There is no assurance of punishment, either. There is no assurance of anything. Not even of a future. I don’t know what to say to make this bearable.

VOLITION — Even so… As long as you live, *something* is promised. Can you live with that?

I can’t, I just can’t do this anymore…

I can. It’s enough.

I don’t know. I just don’t know.

I can at least try for a little longer…

VOLITION — That’s all I ask. That’s enough.

#disco elysium #harry du bois #dolores dei #suicide tw #ummmmm haha *twirls hair* #sorry this isn’t more of the dolores saga im really trying to get back into the swing of things 😭 #this is smth that won’t make it into the saga but that i was thinking about nonetheless #im not too fond of the whole ‘’dora is literally dolores dei’’ thing tbh #i feel that the mundanity is what makes their story impactful #and also just. makes it feel like somebody is kinda going overboard on projecting onto their proxy ex. lmao 😭 #idk like the metaphor gets a little TOO metaphorical for me. but that’s just my onion. im an rgu fan so who am i to judge #anyway this is more my take on the harry/dora story #which is that dora was Just Some Guy and ultimately we have to live w the fact that we’ll never get the full story #because she literally exited the narrative #we can speculate about what her and harry’s relationship was like and how much of the blame is on each of them #dora’s lack of class consciousness vs harry’s violent misogyny etc etc #and like. it’s not that there’s no value in examining those things bc there definitely is value in it #in examining what patterns you DO see repeating in your life and in the world around you #that is what politics is really… examining the system and all its moving parts #but ultimately the past is immutable… our perception of it changes as we gain new context and understanding but what’s past is past #and there is no way of knowing with any certainty what the future holds #that’s where the overlap of all of these political and personal conflicts is for me #and why it comes back to harry questioning whether it’s worth it to even live #it’s about whether or not you can live with the grief of the past and the uncertainty of the future #i want to learn to live with it… to work toward building a future that i want to live in #anyway. coughs

[xenomorphicdna]

Flames,, blanket boy, my beloved

I gotta draw more art like this of him, he's such an odd creature I love him so much

There's so much to his character that I never talk about aaa I'll make a lore post eventually

#i have thoughts about this guy #he's so hungry for affection and that social and physical contact he see's all the people in his city get #he's takes up so much after them in so many ways #maintenance on this guy... mechanics working on checking all the wires and circuits and touching all the sensitive nerves and neuron flies #its nice that his entire structure is well taken care of but he also wouldnt be able to focus on anything else #he's so used to working in perfect undisturbed conitions..must be so distracting when something changes #he'd have his overseers watching as they plug things in and test stuff and poke around in his guts #and maybe he'll enjoy it a too much and he'll beep when a cable is pushed in.. its not like the sounds are unusual #the structure is alway whirling and buzzing.. whats a few extra clicks and hums when a particularly sensitive component is touched #its not like they would know unless they were really paying attention to the sounds and looking for a reaction #trying to please their beloved supercomputer #he longs for the same love they're capable of but it does quite work out. They can't hug him in a way that feels the same #does affection mean anything to him when its so little. They cant love him in a way that properly means something #i guess flames eventually getting into a relationship fills that affection hole #someone who speaks the same language. someone who he can relate to and understand #someone capable of touching all his systems in just the right way #ajfjsj went off i the tags here uh im so tired im kinda losing consciousness as i was typing oops #rain world #iterator #rain world oc #iterator oc #oc four blue flames #drawins #suggestive

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

do you ever just sit there thinking about your favorite ocs while violently shaking. god. clenches fist. They're So.

#every time a song from their Joint Playlist comes on i go fucking feral #the betrayal the refusal to Let Go the haunting the persisting love the renunciation the resentment the abandonment the resignation #the overwhelming desire to do good vs the fear of admitting you were wrong vs the two people you love most tearing each other apart #AGHHHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK IM SUDDENLY DEEP IN THE ORIGINAL SAUCE #five seconds i was Normal. scribbling welcome home #then One Of The Songs Came On and now im losing my fucking marbles #perceived betrayals leading to real betrayals.... #going too far and now its too late you're Committed you cant go back #he came to you thinking he could make you understand and you could work together to make things Better #and instead you ripped his heart out and left it bleeding on the floor for everyone to see #THEY MAKE ME MORE INSANE THAN LITERALLY ANYTHING #absolutely unprompted #the oc Unwellness comes and goes in waves but its the only true constant obsession with my life #god those three... my dearest darling Trio.... how old are they turning this year? #is it year eight of having them? year nine? #one of the two is for sure how long ive had My Specialest Boy Light Of My Life The Reason I Am Still Alive #the other two came after... maybe only mere months after but he was the first and he is just. i love him so fucking much #he is so so personal to me. he has a permanent place carved out in my chest #he sleeps on my ribs <3 #the other day i was reminiscing about his development over the years. his changes his different Versions #and fuck... he's really changed with me huh?? #his past selves are echoes of my own self over the years #like he is Very different from me but at the same time. i created him with little pieces of myself sewn in #we hold the same views the same beliefs. im not him and hes not me but we're Kindred yk yk #i think i need to go listen to his playlist.... how long is it now... let me check... 15 hours 13 mins... 228 songs... #my gay 5'2 powerhouse of a guy. him <3 #maybe 'them' too he's played fast and loose with gender over the years. holy shit wait #his development echoes mine... i characterized him as 'fucks with gender norms' long before i realized my own gender fuckery #god damn. i love him even more now. i didnt think that was possible. im going to cry. hes so important to me #he has been with me through my worst years... and will be with me through all the hard times to come <3