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becauseplot · 11 months

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Okay so something about the spiderbit wedding has been sitting in the back of my mind for awhile now and I don't know if anyone's talked about it but I just recently figured out the words to articulate it (kind of) so here we go!

Prior to the q!spiderbit wedding, a lot of the fanart/fanfics I saw/read depicted Cellbit waiting at the altar while Roier is walked down the aisle by either Foolish or Vegetta. Which makes sense! It keeps with the idea of the father "giving away" the bride (or in this case, the groom) at the wedding, which wouldn't be possible for Cellbit since he doesn't have any parental figures on the island. So, I was a little surprised when the wedding day came and Cellbit was the one to walk down the aisle while Roier waited at the altar. I was a bit disappointed at first---they missed a chance to do a sweet little spin on a wedding tradition! (Found family* my beloved <3)

But then I kept thinking---something about Cellbit walking down the aisle. Something about Cellbit walking down the aisle. Something about Cellbit walking down the aisle to the altar where Roier, his soon-to-be husband and trusted confidant, stands; where Felps, his best friend whom he just got back from an unknown fate, stands; where Forever, the friend he wronged but never lost faith in and wants to do right by going forward, stands.

Something about Cellbit being alone and walking himself down the aisle towards them like he is making an active choice. After the fear and the isolation, pushing others away and hurting those close to him so he could make himself a martyr because he felt like he had to face the Federation alone and that he could only rely on himself---now choosing to walk towards the altar where they stand---walking towards his happy ending.

Because this is his happy ending. I'm not at all an advocate for the idea of "oh romance/marriage is the only thing that will make you happy in life" but not only is being married to Roier something Cellbit desperately wants, this wedding means so much more than just getting married.

Of course, this isn't really the end, but for someone like Cellbit, it's a start. A new beginning. A brand new chapter of love, friendship, and trust. So yes, Cellbit walks down the aisle at his wedding, and he does it alone, and he does it because he deserves it, and he does it because he wants to, and he does it because he has to, and he does it because he needs this.

*I would just like to note that found family does not have to follow a nuclear formula with parent-child roles and I don't wish to propagate this misconception. That's just how Roier's family is structured in canon. Foolish and Vegetta are boyfriends and Roier calls them (or at least Foolish) "dad" that's just how it is and it is beautiful <3

Also apologies if I get any lore wrong. I'm not a Roier or Cellbit main viewer but I learn a lot through what I do watch of their streams and what I absorb through my dash. Hopefully this still makes sense.

#qsmp #qsmp spiderbit wedding #spiderbit #guapoduo #qsmp cellbit #q!cellbit #spiderbit wedding #yeah i know that everyone's talking about the debates right now but ive been busy all week and im behind on vods #so here have a spiderbit wedding word-vomit post and ill talk about the debates later (maybe)#im reading this back to myself after posting and boy i sure do love italics huh lmao #edit: tiny amendment to this post (bc my brain wont shut up) but i should note that ofc jaiden is also part of roier's little family-#-but i didn't include her in the footnotes bc this post was already getting long and tbh the different kinds of families-#-on the island deserves its own post but i dont have any Big thoughts on the matter apart from it's vvvvv nice to see <3 #dont mind me im just rambling

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birrdify · 6 days

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this is soooooooo totally not the actual writer but there's this oooooooone fic called Sever the Ties that me, this totally nameless anon SOOO didn't write, it's kinda like, emotional as all hell but also kinda gay. That writer also who totally isn't me is also planning a less 34 focused sequel to it since they liked writing it so much it's just taking a while. The plans do exist tho and a bit of the beginning

HOLDON WHAT???? HELLOOO????? OH MY GDO NICC IM SO SORRY I JSUT FOUND THIS??? HELPLP I TOOK A DOUBLE TAKE AFTER READING "SEVER THE TIES" cause i went oh my god! thats the fic i read! and OH MY GOD!! THATS THE FIC I READ!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fic HERE and thsi is nicc: (since i dont think anon asks give notifs) @34saveme34 (IF YOU DONT MIND ME TAGGING YOU MY BAD

#little sever the ties doodles as an apology for ANSWERING SUCH A LATE ASK HGHGHUHUUHUHU (not a part of thst special art dump im making for #you) ALSO I HOPE THAT ISNT TOO SPOILERY ... HOUH.. guys go read the fic right now holding you by gunpoint #smg4 smg3 #smg4 fanart #birdyfy art #smg34 #smg4 #smg3 #AGAIN THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS IVE EVER EXPERIENCED I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT SEVER THE TIES SM #THANK YOU AGAIN NICC THANKYOU THANK YOU

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the-meme-monarch · 2 months

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ok sorry i didn’t go insane over emesis blue like i thought I would but it is making me scared irl now. i can’t turn over in bed bc what if there’s a severed head positioned like it’s peaking around the doorframe. what if i look over and The Butcher is there

#genuinely that scene was the scariest part of the whole movie to me. a weird guy appear (your mom is also dead)#anyway i have a question. is the butcher a timeloop iteration of spy. like how the plague doctor is thought to be a future timeloop medic #my only thinking is The Butcher Looks Pretty Badly Burned Under That Mask. Spy Got Pretty Badly Burned Adn Started Wearing A Mask #but like the butcher is pretty clearly pyro’s model #and like why would spy timeloop torture his past self #also i think it was implied that the butcher and medic(unknowingly) orchestrated scouts kidnapping #and spy and medic kinda. didn’t get along HDBSHBEHDHSB #idk ive watched the movie twice now #emesis blue #ask to tag #words from the monarch #also is it accurate to call it a time loop. idk what else to call it. but like what was happening to soldier like the convo with demoman a #and throwing the crowbar/getting hit with the crowbar would be timeloop shit right.#there are timeloop ELEMENTS but im not saying the whole story is a timeloop. yknow #also this movie is kinda funny to read stuff about out of context when you already deeply know tf2. they sure put these guys in A Situation

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harvestmoth · 6 months

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more rejuv things but its. its just this guy again, im sorry shes all i can draw

#everyday im like i wanna draw :] and then i just end up with this thing on the page #i refuse to draw hands holding. because i cannot and im too lazy to figure it out #oh yea a couple of these i havent posted before because theyre lame to me but ill put them here for now #anyways!!#i was gonna say something about a couple of these but i forgot #oh well #pokemon rejuvenation #does she. lose her ribbon in blacksteeple. i forgot #she still has it to me..#to me her c15 hair tie is a torn part of the ribbon #anyways again. yesterday i finally figured out what the rejuvrp is. very cool stuff im so incredibly intrigued by it #i have no idea whats going on! but it looks so cool ill try to read it more later.#oh right again about the rejuvrp thing. the character designs ive seen are so so so cool i want to draw them so bad #i think i have to ask about that first though and there is! no way i am going to do that!!! i do not want to bother them #and i think my heart would explode from the fear of it all before i even typed the message.#that and im very lazy! theres a very good chance i wouldnt even draw it in the first place #anyways unrelated but i think if i get another comment from someone on something i Will Actually Explode.#i see someone said something and it kills me on the daily. what is happening... thank you.. i appreciate it very much...#sorry to whoever read all of that. um. hi youre really cool and i hope you have a good day/night #i think being on twitter has done something to me i have to leave it immediately. anyways back to twitter #wait actually i should go back to playing rejuv. im still in the grove from when i first posted the gym leader melia au. im afraid to leave #also play pokemon rejuvenation no i will not stop saying that everytime i post one of these

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bigcats-birds-and-books · 8 months

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Books of 2023. VILLAINS by V. E. Schwab.

Time for a NaNo Prep Reread! I love Victor and this vicious little family with my whole chest. This'll be my second time rereading VICIOUS, but only my first time rereading VENGEFUL.

#books of 2023 #villains #vicious #vengeful #ve schwab #books #book photography #seriously i love these so much #shades of magic was good but vicious as my heart lol #vicious held up on the first reread a few years ago so im excited to dissect it for the Revenge Arc this time #i feel vaguely bad because i remember nothing about marcella but. tbf. how could i when victor and sydney and mitch are RIGHT there #also this is just. so much better. than hench....#i finished hench at three o'clock this morning just to be Done #the pacing was Messy™ and it didn't get better #definitely brutal and fucked up (that body horror at the end was epic actually) but. overall mediocre for me....#parts did make me laugh and i'm love the spreadsheets take but. i couldn't get over the pacing #WHICH AGAIN I KNOW IS RICH COMING FROM ME #sigh #anyway i read the first scene this afternoon but now i'm gonna watch nate wreaking havoc in heist fambly while my laundry goes #and THEN bedtime reading

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compacflt · 6 months

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OKAY I’M DONE‼️ tomorrow‼️

(Subtract about 3-4k [in-progress notes and afterword for my print version—which will be sent to those who asked once i finish editing (might be a minute)!] but here’s proof)

sorry it took so long. I was really unhappy with a couple sections and decided to stop bitching about how unhappy I was with them on tumblr and take the time to rewrite them to a standard that I would actually be happy posting… which I thought would take like a week… silly compacflt… always triple the amount of time I estimate i might need… so sorry I’ve been MIA. ive been working on this the whole time.

but now I’m actually really happy with these. And with their completion, it means this series is over. I think this is an ending I can actually be proud of, now. so for me it was worth it.

also i think i should reiterate, these aren’t supposed to be read all at once, i just thought it would be crazy to post these dozens of individual one-shots as their own chapters. that’s crazy. Lol. so you can treat them like chapters if you want. or don’t. I’m not your mom

these sections (ice/mav retiring, getting married, hangster wedding, retired life etc.) will be posted tomorrow. Thank you for waiting‼️

#a couple of you asked if I’m okay. yes!! just angsting over these sections #this is the end of the series. I had to get it right. I had to.#really not a perfectionist but when stuff is busted it gotta get fixed.#also just a warning. i might delete this fic sometime soon.#not the whole series. just this fic.#im incredibly proud of part two but part one especially is not my best work #I’m fine with people reading it now but maybe not in perpetuity.#and slider was a pretty good way to end the series otherwise #these extras were just for me ☺️#happy thanksgiving btw! very grateful for all of you. have a good holiday.

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thatexygurl · 2 months

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how in the hell did jeremy knox end up being better than the fanon version of him?

#aftg #all for the game #the sunshine court #i dont read jerejean fics #but its crazy to think how im absolutely obsessed with him right now #i think i'm equal parts happy and upset i refrained from reading jerejean fics still undecided #but hes so...sports drama male lead coded #this can be a manhwa actually #tsc

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enhanced-operatives-division · 2 months

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Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble

I will not be brief, all under the cut

To clear some things right off the bat:

No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.

Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality

The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.

This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.

Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:

Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.

All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.

Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).

And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.

At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.

I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.

Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.

This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.

It shifts something between them.

From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.

As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.

Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.

Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.

I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.

I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.

I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.

As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.

I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.

Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great

#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one #i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking #and he said “girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped #i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format #anyways.#THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever..#this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good.#it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen)#also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head #idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard.#whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope #im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT #ieytd #john juniper #reginald crane #junicrane #starstruck #i expect you to die #<- being BRAVE!!!#when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that #the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :(#but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH #also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah.#god im so messed up about these two #make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG.....#i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which -#- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL #GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall.......#FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga #thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry

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morganmnemonic · 4 months

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Vivziepop hatters are made of weeker stuff. Like, their argument is that you shouldn't like the show because it's bad. The last show I followed as it came out was miraculous ladybug. "The show is bad"?? Bitch, you ain't seen nothin'

#hazbin hotel #what im saying is that we all have different standards for what media we enjoy #but for me personally objective quality factors in very little #i do think the writing of hazbin is at least decent and that many of its criticisms are shallow #people are for real mad that its different than the imaginary show that they made up in their brains 4 years ago #but even if the parts of the plot that im sincerely intrugued by dont have the cool payoff im hoping for #i still enjoyed the ride #im having fun right now theorizing and reading other peoples theories #im enjoying all the fanart #people keep memeing on Vox which is ideal #does a show need to be “good”#is it not doing enough simply by drawing creative talent and wonderful people into a shared community

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justablah56 · 2 months

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I love my friends so much :3

#just blahs #I'm talking to every single person when i say this btw #yeah you right there reading this rn #i love you #we are friends now for this brief moment in time so that i can love you btw #anyways #im just . thinking abt all the people in my life . n how much i love them . no matter how small a part they play(ed)#waaaa #anyways .

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lunarharp · 1 year

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into the deep end - 29k T orufrey fic.

the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the other.

for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.

the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.

but they were never whole to begin with, were they?

qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.

olly says nothing.

#witch hat tag #orufrey #ok first this drawing isnt right im too tired..i couldnt draw for a week bc i was WRITINGGG and now i dont even know how..#im changed....... why would you write a 29k fic? WHY??? and i wanted it to be 30k because qifrey (spoilers) turns thirty in it.#and that's important to me...and yet it's 29.4k. there's a point where it's just like. i cannot any more. it is what it is. goodbye #it's about memory trauma..disability..birthdays..mental illness..living in a grave since you were born since you died since it happened #and crawling and crawling and crawling back to the place where you left him #uh yeah feel free to give it a read! i literally dont know if a single person will read it and enjoy it and tell me LOL #i've realised long fics do not get read as much lol. but! it's separated into 4 parts ok! you could read one part and then take a break.#just saying. also i hate editing. if there are any more typos ill flip my lid. no-one tell me.#god i love witch hat and qifrey and orufrey and oru #there's girls and background ermicia and garuato but i was so vague about so much cause i had to be peace out #btw being ace is critical to me and informs everything i write.

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anxiously-sidequesting · 5 months

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Since we're talking about Grandfather Spider can we Girls please just take one single moment of the day to remember and think about his, "I am beyond angry with you, but I could never hate you." quote to Grandmother Raven please. Please. Please can we do that? I will become sick as fuck if someone doesn't acknowledge this with me

#that was one of the most powerful fucking things ive ever personally read #can we please applaud the emotional maturity and intelligence on spider's part here please. to be able to tell and admit the difference-#-between feelings of anger and resentment and flat out hate #there's like not even really a word spider could find that could sum up all his negative feelings other than 'anger'. its not just anger-#-its so much more than that. but its not hate. he doesn't hate her and never has hated her #also the acknowledgement that things (at that point in time) between them are still Not Okay #like. they're not fighting any longer. they recognized their harmful actions but those feelings still havent gone away theyre still hurt #i think the ending to their arc was very decent because it still gave them room to grow in peace #they're not okay RIGHT NOW but with enough work maybe they will be. it will take years and years and years but maybe it will be okay.#“hey look im not all that comfortable with you yet but i recognize your regret and willingness to work on us so i can do the same for you”-#-hey what if i died right now. what if i died from that right fucking now.#wizard101 #wiz101 #w101 #text posts #grandfather spider

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sylkana · 20 days

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you know maybe i'm being a little too hard on brandon, he does have some points. like how i should get out of my comfort zone and push myself more...

our conversation this morning:

him: kenzie.

me: yes?

him: k

#so me simply replying with 'yes?' is a problem now?? i do it all the time when people only address me 😭#wtf is he on... this isnt normal right? right??#sorry. i know i need to just cut ties but part of me feels bad because we were friends but fuck im not dealing with this shit #i somehow always do something wrong and he doesnt even believe me when i try to explain anything #i left him on read lmao #kenzie.txt

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doctorwhoisadhd · 10 days

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hmm thinking about the idea of love songs. i think the idea of what a love song is that we have in our culture is inherently a little bit flawed because we have the idea that any song written about romantic feelings is a love song and im thinking thats not exactly true because there is a difference between "romance" and "love". what i'm saying is not that love is a broader category and applies to things that are not romantic in nature. this is in fact true, but it's not what makes the important distinction here. the true distinction between "romance" and "love" is that romance is a societally defined type of interest in another person, whereas love is, essentially, a promise that you make when you build a relationship.

as such, what i call "love" here might be better defined as "care", as that implies more time and effort, but that's a different suitcase to unpack and largely unimportant to my point here, which is more about the societal conventions of what we call love songs. the point is, relationships can be built with other people, yes, but also animals, places, organizations, ideas, so on and so on, whereas romance requires another person, hence the difference between the ideas of "romance" and "love".

with that in mind, there are two types of songs we in western, english speaking, society call "love songs":

1) songs that are about a person's romantic interest in someone that is either definitively known to be unrequited (existing monogamous relationship, sexuality that doesn't align, etc) or simply not requited (aka romantic interest being unknown); and

2) songs about an existing relationship (keeping in mind my points about relationships not just being with people, but also places, things, etcetera) as is.

(some examples of the latter category: mountaintop by relient k, which defines the relationship in question as non-romantic; or i miss my mum by cavetown, which is - as the title implies - a song about the singer missing their mother.)

now, the thing that makes distinguishing these two difficult is the fact that songs about an existing relationship CAN be about wanting certain aspects of that relationship to change. in these cases, determining that a song is one or the other will hinge either on a) authorial intent or b) whether the song is more about what the singer wants (thereby implying #1) or the lack thereof in that relationship (which would imply #2).

to get back to the subject at hand: the term "love song", as we think of it, is an umbrella term that include both of these two categories, and i think that perhaps it is reductive to do so. with that in mind, i think perhaps it would be more appropriate for "love song" to mean only the latter, whereas the former is a category of its own. WHICH is not to say that the two can't overlap — just that if a song is about a person with whom the singer has no relationship, it cannot be considered a love song due to the fact that it is a song about infatuation, not love.

(another interesting wrinkle this provides is the fact that a song might start out in the first category and, as the writer develops a relationship with a person, might move into the second category as they write more.)

#anyway. just some of my thoughts on this as an aromantic songwriter #ari opinion hour #this goes a good deal to reconcile my constant writing of love songs with the fact that none of them are romantic #which im fine with as long as im keeping them to myself but it DOES feel dishonest when i hide that theyre love songs.#however this did also go some way to convince me that maybe care songs is an alternative that i SHOULD use because it is more applicable to #me than the concept of love which MOST people do not have the same perspective on as i do and having different definitions of the same word #is an important barrier to consider in communication #i will admit i do think im clinging to my care songs being love songs due to my relationship with an organization to which love is very #important as i dont want to go back on my promises to that organization as it IS very important to me #anyway. can you tell ive been reading house of leaves by the fact that this appeared fully fledged in my head in fully academic language #but for real like thinking about it now and even my old love songs like most would probably think to see them that they would go in the #first category and they just. DO NOT. at least not the ones that were written after i was like Yeah im aro again #its interesting the ones i wrote in the brief period where i thought i WASNT aro in like mid hs those i WOULD put in the first category #even though like i do NOT think i was right about it being romantic #but the ones after i was like Yea im aro again are like. Thats definitely the latter #part of it is i did find a voice that was like genuinely Mine and wasnt just writing sort of generic love songs #love songs in the typical usage i mean so they were really more infatuation songs #but like i was still with the last person irl who i wrote these about divorced from like... my aroness because of how much i liked him #and i would still put those in the second category #so part of it is awareness as well #so. yeah. its interesting #i probably should just suck it up and start calling them care songs. even if people dont know what i mean to say that

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