#in a few days this album is going to be 10 years old???

[ghostofwriting]

Kildare Split Part One: Angel

Chapter One: Angel

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Note: Thank you all for commenting, liking, reblogging, and interacting with the KS smau's! I really appreciate you all and thought that I would give you a little treat for being so nice. I can't sleep so here is part one of Kildare Split's story, more specifically y/n and Rafe's. Hope you have fun getting to read about the behind-the-scenes. This is absolutely not edited.

Warnings: none, bad writing, Rafe being mean.

Word Count: 3,710

Synopsis: Everyone has noticed that there's been a shift in how Kildare Split acts around each other. Rafe and Y/N used to be so close, they were always pictured together, and always shared stories of each other and for the last few years, there has been nothing from them. A behind-the-scenes look at what went down between everyone's favorite band.

The audience claps as the interviewer closes out the interview. The four of them stand up and start shaking hands with the man. One of the Jimmys or Seth or maybe even Jack. She doesn’t know. She just wants to leave. She’s so tired. It’s been such a long day of pretending. 

Y/n’s the first one to make it backstage, she breathes deeply, her back against a wooden panel. 

“Hey, you okay?” a voice comes from behind her. She puts on a smile and nods her head. 

“Yeah, Top. Fine.” He nods and gives her a half smile. 

Things aren’t the same as they used to be. They haven’t been the same in so long. Two years? Maybe three. Everything is such a blur. Time mending together. Touring helps a lot. It helps time pass, and it helps distract her. Being on stage helps too, that’s the only moment that she can pretend that everything is okay and believe it. She can look at Rafe and smile at him and it feels like before. 

Topper leaves her alone, he goes back to the guys, hanging back with them as they talk to their manager. She walks into the dressing room, gathering her stuff and waiting for Sarah to text her that they’re ready to go. 

Rafe walks into the room, alone. 

“Good job tonight.” He doesn’t look at her. He just starts shoving his belongings into a tote, grabbing some extra snacks that the show provided them. 

She’s so angry. Even still. Even after all this time. She wants to scream at him, beg him to explain himself but she can’t. So she stays quiet. 

“This has to stop.” He says, pausing his actions, still not looking at her. 

She looks at the back of his head. His hair starting to grow out from when he buzzed it, bleached from his album shoot. 

She wants to speak but she can’t. It’s like the anger chokes her up, this ball of fire stuck in her throat and she can’t get a word out because all that will come out is lava. She wants to hurt him. Wants him to feel a fraction of what she felt. And even then, she doesn’t even know if she’s in the right. Two years later and she’s still mad at him, even if she shouldn’t be. 

Sarah tried telling her to talk to him, to work it all out for the sake of the band. From her perspective, the band hasn’t suffered. The band is doing better than ever and she thinks that she deserves an award for not killing Rafe on stage. 

Sometimes she wishes she could put everything behind her and just try and be his friend again. They may never be best friends again, but she could speak to him at least. She thinks she’s civil with him though. He’s not dead so that says something. 

Rafe just sighs and sits on the counter, pulling out his phone. He’s probably texting her. His girlfriend. No, the fiance. The one he cheated on her with. Or well, sort of.

+++

Rafe and y/n met when they were 10 years old. She was friends with Sarah and always went over to her house. She thought of Sarah as her best friend until she met Rafe. Maybe it was love at first sight or a little kid crush but she grew attached. She would not leave him alone. Luckily for her, Rafe was the same way. He always followed her around, asking her to play when he saw her on the beach, at school, or if their parents ran into each other at the grocery store. 

They became inseparable and soon they added two new faces to their duo. Topper and Barry. It was early on that they knew what they wanted to do with their lives. They would put on shows for whoever wanted to watch. They would sing at the top of their lungs and smash around on every surface they could find. 

Soon after, y/n had asked her mom to put her in guitar lessons. She picked it up quickly but she always enjoyed singing more. She had bragged to Rafe about how fun her vocal lessons were and he convinced his father that he wanted to join too. It was contagious because soon enough, Topper and Barry had each claimed an instrument that they practiced every day after school for hours. They drove their parents insane. 

Rafe said that they couldn’t have two guitar players in the band and Topper refused to drop lead guitar so y/n did. Rafe was mad at Topper first but y/n reassured him that she could pick up bass quickly. They became Kildare Split on a blisteringly hot summer day in Barry’s garage. Sarah, John B, and JJ watching their rehearsal. After that, they played shows whenever they could. Dive bars, small fairs around town, and busking outside venues where established bands were playing. 

It took them from the ages of 12 to 17 to get discovered but they never let up. When they finally got signed to their label, y/n remembers crying in Rafe’s arms. She was so happy, their dreams were coming true and she was doing it with her best friends. 

Little did she know that everything would fall apart so fast. 

Childhood is pretty much lost when you’re playing stingy bars full of drunk people and drugs at 12 years old. She thought that it would get better once they had protection from managers and label heads. She was wrong. It almost became worse. Drugs were everywhere. At 17 getting drugs offered to you by a 50-year-old man who controls your entire career is pretty terrifying. She didn’t think she could say no. The boys didn’t think they could say no. It was intense. Some of them made it out better than others, and the others, well, that’s the downfall of fame at such a young age. 

There was an entire year where she probably spent half of it high out of her mind. She went from doing it out of fear of losing her career to craving it, needing it. Rafe was the same way. Topper had tried to help them both but they were too far gone. She remembers going on talk shows, but not which talk shows or who they talked to or what they talked about. She looks back on those days and feels a pit in her stomach. Losing such a big chunk of her young adult life that she can’t relive hurts. 

That’s when it all started. She was high and drunk, and Rafe was high and drunk and one thing led to another. They had never crossed that line before. After her initial crush went away, she had never thought of Rafe that way. When it happened, it felt like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over her head. She woke up the next day and immediately regretted it. She apologized to Rafe, told him that it could never happen again and bolted. 

That’s when she cleaned her act up. She couldn’t risk their relationship, for their friendship and the band. 

One thing she should have known is that Rafe didn’t care. He wanted her and he was going to have her. And who was she to shove all her bottled-up feelings back in their little box? Who was she to deny him?

So they start their little song and dance. At first, they keep it hidden from everyone. If Topper and Barry were to find out, they would be so incredibly upset and they would tell them to stop. 

She can’t stop. She doesn’t want to stop. Not as long as Rafe wants her. 

She gets clean and she tries to help Rafe get clean too. He relapses time and time again, crawling back to her, asking for another chance. She’s been there, she knows how hard it is to get clean so of course she gives him all the chances he asks for. 

They hook up on and off for a year. They never become anything official because Rafe isn’t in the headspace to be in a relationship. He needs to focus on himself and she wants to help him and if he needs her to be his friend, that’s what she’ll be. 

“You’re friends with benefits with my brother,” Sarah says stunned. Topper and Barry had found out and ran to her to get her to talk some sense into Rafe and y/n. 

“It’s not like that.” Sarah looks at her incredulously. 

“Are you or are you not fucking my brother?” y/n doesn’t know how to respond so she stays quiet. Sarah is scary when she’s mad.

“It’s not because he’s my brother, y/n. It’s because of what he means to you.” y/n shakes her head, smiling softly. 

“Sarah, I promise you, it’s okay. Rafe and I have an agreement.” Sarah sighs and looks at her with concern.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.” She should’ve taken Sarah’s advice. She should have put a stop to everything that minute everyone found out. She was too far gone for him though, she couldn’t leave him, not when he needed her. 

Everyone warned her. Everyone told her that it would end badly. 

“I just want you to know that if he does something, those boys will choose him. You’re the odd variable y/n, know that.” Cleo had said to her one night when they were in the tour bus, the boys off on a run. 

“I am just as important to them as Rafe is.” Or she had thought. 

On one stupid drunken night she tells Rafe that she loves him. He gapes at her not knowing what to say. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.” She understands, of course, she does. It’s not like that between them. 

The doesn’t stop her from crying in Barry’s arms about it. She hiccups and sobs into his chest about how much she loves him and how he will never look at her that way. Barry just listens and holds her. She falls asleep in his arms. She feels so safe with him. Her best friend. 

Shit hits the fan all at once and so fast. 

Sarah sits her down one night after a show. Her adrenaline is still pumping, she wants to go jump around with the guys and run laps around the venue. 

“Sar, can we do this later?”

“This can’t wait.” The tone in her voice brings her back down to earth. It’s serious. 

“What’s wrong?” y/n knows it’s about Rafe before Sarah opens her mouth. She feels it, there’s a shift in whatever the hell universe she’s been living in. Her face feels hot, her ears are ringing, and she feels like she starts to shake. 

“Rafe is seeing someone.” Of course, he is. She’s y/n she’s just his friend.

A friend that he sleeps with. A friend that has stayed up all night with him as he detoxed. A friend who drove him to and from meetings, that drove him to rehab and told everyone that he was on vacation. She was the person that he would run to when any little thing went wrong, she held him as he cried about their career not going anywhere and having to go back to work for his dad. She let him sob in her arms about all the shit that they have been through during the lift-off of their career. She was there for him, always for him and he promised her. He promised that he would always be there for her that it was only her. That he only ever wanted her and when he got his shit together they could be together. He told her that he wasn’t sleeping around. He didn’t have time for girlfriends, he didn’t have time to put in the work on a relationship because he could barely put the work into himself. He told her that she was the only one he was ending his nights with and waking up in the mornings with. He promised her the world and it was all just a lie. 

Just as fast as her body starts shaking, it relaxes, she takes a deep breath and looks at Sarah, the look of concern still on her face. 

“Who?” she asks lowly. 

“This painter, named Sofia.” The name rings a bell. She thinks she’s seen her call Rafe a few times. 

“That’s okay. We weren’t dating.” Sarah’s concern grows so y/n smiles at her. 

“Let’s go back out there.”

“Do you want me to call Cleo?” Sarah asks. 

“I’m good, Sar.”

And she is. Or at least she’s trying to be good. She has no right to be angry. They weren’t dating. He doesn’t owe her anything. 

They walk into the room where the guys are playing video games. Waiting for the fans to leave the venue before it’s safe for them to leave. 

“Hey! Great show tonight angel!” Rafe says looking away from the screen at her. She gives him a short smile, her face pensive. 

Cleo’s words ring in her head, those boys will choose him those boys will choose him those boys will choose him.

She knows all three of them like the back of her hand. Topper's lip quivers when he lies. Barry doesn’t look you in the eyes. And Rafe, Rafe’s ears turn red. 

She has to know if the two boys, men, that she grew up with and calls her family, would keep that from her. 

“So who’s Sofia?” She watches as all three of them tense. She’s looking between Barry and Topper but she sees Rafe turn to look at Sarah with anger between his brows from her peripherals. 

She looks for the cues and hopes that she can’t find them. It’s hard to miss when Barry doesn’t look up from his controller but is frozen, quiet. She looks at Topper, his mouth open, trying to find something to say.

“I don’t know, some person we commissioned probably.” She can’t help the breathy sob that escapes her lips when she sees the quiver on Topper’s. 

She swallows hard, she turns to Rafe, shaking her head at him and backing away. 

“You’re a liar. You’re a fucking liar. All of you are.” She backs into the hallway, her eyes still floating from one to the other. 

“y/n-” Topper moves towards her but she holds her hand out and cuts him off.

“No. Stay away from me. I never- I-” she chokes on a sob. “ I never would have done this to you. Don’t talk to me, don’t follow me, just stay away from me.” She turns on her feet and books it out of the room and hallway, she hears Rafe chewing Sarah out but doesn’t stay long enough to hear what Sarah says. 

Things are awkward, to say the least from then on. She stayed in her bunk and silently cried herself to sleep. She wants to go to him, ask him what she could have done, ask him what happened and when he knew he wanted to stop things with her. He doesn’t come to see her that night, or the next night or the night after that. 

At first, she thought it was because he was giving her time to cool off but on the third night of complete silence from him, she walks into the dressing room of their show in Nashville and a pretty girl with short hair sits on the couch. 

“Hi, I’m Sofia. You must be y/n.” She extends her hand out and y/n takes it. 

“Nice to meet you.” y/n says. 

“You too, sorry about how things went down.” Y/n scrunches up her nose, her head tilting. 

“What?” She asks.

“I mean, I knew he had to choose eventually, he just didn’t get the chance to tell you.” She feels like she’s going to throw up. She wasn’t planning on hating Sofia, but she knew. Sofia knew that y/n existed and she still kept on seeing him. 

She walks out of the room. 

That same night, everything changed. If he had just apologized, if he had told her that he fucked up and he was too drugged up to think clearly, she would have forgiven him. That’s not what happened. 

She runs into Rafe in the lunch area and can’t hold in all her feelings. She needs to know what he’s thinking and wants to ask him to explain himself. 

“Rafe?” He doesn’t acknowledge her. 

“Can we please talk?”

“God Y/n, I don’t want to fucking talk. I’m so goddamn tired of you moping around this place like you have any right.” He explodes at her, his face red. 

“What?” She’s shocked, he’s never talked to her like this. 

“You’re just some girl I fucked okay? I needed to get off and you were always there. You were just a fuck. I don’t care about you like that.” He pauses. His words sank into her like knives. 

“I’m going to get clean for her. Sofia, she’s worth it.” He walks out of the room without saying anything else to her. She feels her eyes start to water, chills running up and down her body.

How could he be so cruel? How could her best friend of so many years say he doesn’t care about her? How could he disregard her feelings and belittle her to be just someone he fucked? She thought they were friends. She believed that they would come out of this situation unscathed but he didn’t even see her as a person. 

The people she thought cared about her most in the world, didn’t care about her at all. They all chose someone else. They didn’t choose her. 

She had never felt so alone in her entire life. And for the first time since they started their journey as a band, she wondered if any of it had been worth it. 

+++

“I don’t think it can stop.” It’s the first time you’ve spoken to him directly and not on stage or in an interview in years. 

“What do you mean?”

“I’m going to move out of LA, back home probably or New York with Cleo and Pope.”

“y/n.” It’s not Rafe’s voice saying her name, it’s Barry from behind her. She turns around and looks at him, looks past him and Topper, and then back at Rafe.”

“I think we all know this has been building up and it’s getting really hard to pretend all the time so um-yeah I’m going to go, I need a break after the tour’s over.” She gulps down the ball building in her throat. She needs to get through this. She hates putting the band on the back burner and hates that she’s to blame.

“What are you talking about?” Rafe asks her, getting off the counter.

“It’s just a break. I think we should announce a prolonged hiatus and just do our own thing for a bit.”

“We have an entire third album to record,” Rafe says incredulously.

“I’ll keep writing and you can send me the vocals you want me to lay down. It’ll be fine.”

“You’re breaking up the band over some stupid grudge?” Rafe asks. 

“That’s not what I’m saying. I just need some time.” It’s not a grudge.

“You have got to be kidding me, y/n, come on. I know how much you love touring and making music.”

“I do,” her voice breaks, “I just need time away from all of you.”

“You need a break from us? What did we do?” Barry pipes in.

“You left me alone. You let him,” she points at Rafe, “belittle me and make me feel like nothing. You isolated me for two years.” Rafe scoffs. 

“You did that yourself.” He sounds hurt more than he does angry. He’s different now. He’s better in a way. He hasn’t apologized to her but he’s good now. He’s clean. He got clean for Sofia. Because she was worth it and y/n wasn’t. 

“Because I was hurt, Rafe! You broke my heart. I fucking told you that I loved you, I was honest with my feelings for you and you never said anything back and then you told me you didn’t care about me!”

“I wasn’t in my right mind.” The tears are still gathering in her eyes but she refuses to let them fall. 

“If you had just apologized to me, this wouldn’t have happened but you said some nasty shit and never looked back and I was just so alone.”

“Do you know what it’s like to have no one to talk to on tour for months on end? That’s what I have had to go through for years because I don’t trust any of you! Because you hurt me and never apologized.”

“I’m sorry. I know it’s late but I’m sorry.” Topper is the one that speaks up. 

“Thank you, but it’s too late. I need some time. I need to heal so that the band can continue because I don’t think I can do this for much longer if I stay.” Topper nods, agreeing with her. She gives him a thankful smile and breathes in deep. 

“Okay, so we finish the tour, and a week or so later we announce that we’re going on a break. We’ll still write and record and we can even release the album but I won’t be doing press for it.” She looks at all three of them and nods. There’s a finality to her words. No room for argument. 

“And you have your solo album to figure out and do press for, maybe you can even tour it. You’ll be fine.” She says to Rafe, more words than she had said to him directly in a long time.

“I’ll see you all soon.” With that, she walks out of the talk show’s dressing room, towards the exit of the building. She was going to finish up this tour. She could do that and then she could rest.

#rafe cameron imagine #kildaresplit au #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron #outerbanks au #rafe x reader #rafe obx #rafe cameron au #rafe cameron smau #rafe outer banks #rafe x you #rafe fanfiction #rafe fic #rafe imagine

[thesirencult]

A LETTER FROM YOUR FUTURE SELF

Sometimes the golden threads of the past, the present and the future get entangled. We get to look out of the window and witness what lies ahead or, in reverse, we can look from above to the present and past time and re-evaluate the situation we used to be at. May this letter serve as a reminder that there is a version of you down the line which has escaped on the other side of the veil and they are ready to share their wisdom.

You can book your tarot or astrology reading with me by directly messaging me ❤️ Till then, enjoy this general message waiting to find you 🌙

PILE 1

"I was going through albums full of photos, hugs, love, tears and sadness. I know that we've come a long way now. Sometimes I want to forget and other times to remember. There is always this book that I reread over and over again whenever I want to meet you again. It feels so long ago yet it was what? 5 years? 7? Certainly not that long ago. Yet so many things have changed. That book holds so many memories of us. I love you. You are my little teddy bear. I can not comprehend how we made it or how badly people treated you in the past. There is a place in my heart I keep hiding you in. I talk to you constantly in hopes that you will hear me at some point and realize that we are meant for so much more and we will get that. We just have to wake up and break free from the chains and constraints of others. I love you, for all the beautiful moments we spent together and all the times we cried alone on a cold pillow. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Yours forever and ever and ever,

U 🌧️

PILE 2

"When I try to find the words to talk to you I struggle. I don't feel that much of a connection to you. I've changed a lot and I see my timeline as fragmented. I don't feel proud for you but that doesn't mean I resent you. How could I? You brought me here. You were the one who transformed and broke from the pain, but it was a rough time for me and I try to distance myself from addictions and betrayalz.

Anyways, I wanted to let you know that it's done. We are safe. You wake up in the morning feeling calm and rejuvenated. We don't need it anymore. We don't need them anymore. We take joy in the mundane. Don't roll your eyes! Boring is safe and learning to be still in a world that's always moving will help you ground. Stay safe love ❤️

Yours, faithfully.

(I don't even know why this name came out but maybe it resonates with someone, so I will mention it. Ashley.)

PILE 3

"We are free. We found a lover that let's us breathe and we no longer fear our power and beauty.

We no longer feel threatened by others and we don't have to hide our true selves.

I passed by our old house today and I saw mom and pops. They are doing fine. I went by the doghouse of our old pet and I still cry after 10 years without them, but it's okay, we've loved and we kept a piece of them in our hearts. They still visit us in our dreams you know. A friend like that never leaves you.

Our lover is sweet and safe. They are disciplined and a rock for us. We are still tumultuous and unorganized and they can withstand the dark clouds same as they do the sunny days out. They are a champion and they don't find us difficult to love. They marvel in our strength.

You will grow old together and built a few different houses but the home will always be in your hearts.

I remember you all the time. You would be grateful if you stayed. Don't go, we'll get there. Don't leave me please, I don't want to miss my lover and our home. No matter the weather stay.

Yours now and forever.

#astrology #tarot reading #tarot #pick a card #pick a pile #pac reading #pick a photo #pick a picture #soulmate #future spouse #channeled message #intuitive messages #intuitive readings #tarotblr

[endless-summer-soldier]

cruel to be kind - chapter one

pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (90s college AU)

summary: it started with a dare. Bucky restlessly pursues Y/N, seeking just one date. as he chases her, he realizes she's different from she challenges him, so he starts to catch feelings. but it all falls apart when she learns about his initial motivations. based on 10 things I hate about you!

warnings: alcohol use, cursing

word count: 1.4k

series playlist

series masterlist

taglist: @sebsgirl71479 @ozwriterchick @notmeddy @drewsuncrustables @lokidokieokie @nats-whore @m4nulup1n @arcanebabe @tanyaspartak @jackiehollanderr @princezzjasmine @pono-pura-vida @mavrellover91 @helluvapimp @charmedbysarge @blackwood-bodecker-housewife (message me to be added)

There were three bangs that came from the other side of the wall and a voice yelled, “KEEP IT DOWN. SOME OF US HAVE STUDYING TO DO.” 

The small group of college boys playing Nintendo 64 groaned and turned the music down a few notches. This was a usual occurrence for a Thursday night.

“She is such a bitch!” Zemo said.

“Come on, cut her some slack,” Bucky said.

“Since when are you defending her?” Sam asked.

“I’m just saying, if you guys were my neighbors, I’d be annoyed too.”

“Alright then Barnes if you like her so much-”

“I don’t even know her,” Bucky interrupted.

“I’ve got a proposition for you,” Zemo continued.

“What’s that?”

“Take her on a date.”

“No chance,” Bucky scoffed.

“I dare you.”

“I’m not ten years old. Daring me to do something isn’t gonna work.”

“Oh I see,” Sam added, “You know she won’t say yes.”

“That’s not it-”

“I didn’t think you were afraid of a challenge,” Zemo added.

“I’m not-”

“Sounds like you’re making a lot of excuses,” Sam said.

Bucky clenched his jaw in frustration, “Fine, fine. I will take her out on a date if it’ll get you two to shut up.”

As the other two went back to playing video games, Bucky started wracking his brain on how he was going to pull this off. Y/N was Zemo and Sam’s next door neighbor and she had a bit of a bad reputation on campus. She was the star player on the field hockey team and the only thing more lethal than her stick handling was her sarcasm. She didn’t put up with any bullshit, and people found that to be intimidating. But Bucky wasn’t intimidated, he just had to think through his first move.

He sat on the bleachers watching as field hockey practice drew to a close. Once the final whistle sounded, he took a final puff of his cigarette, dropped it on the ground and crushed it under the heel of his leather boot. He sauntered over to the bench where Y/N was gulping down a cup of water.

“Hey there doll,” he said, capturing her attention, “How are you doing?”

She crushed the cup in her hand and said, “Sweating like a pig.” 

“Now there’s a way to get a guy’s attention,” he replied. She started packing up her things in a duffel bag.

“My mission in life. But I caught your attention, so you see it worked.”

She grabbed her things and started walking off the field as he followed. “Pick you up on Friday then?” he replied.

She rolled her eyes and said, “Oh right, Friday...uh-huh.”

“I'm serious," he added.

She stopped walking and turned toward him, “Do you even know my name?”

“I know a lot more than you think.”

“I highly doubt that,” she said, picking up her pace. He stood there watching her leave.

“Think about it!” he called.

She turned around just for a moment to flip him off with both hands and then continued off the field. He stood there shaking his head with a smile. He lit another cigarette and watched her leave, wondering what his next move would be.

Bucky stumbled across Y/N rather unexpectedly a few days later. He spotted her in the window of the record shop, browsing through albums, and decided to wait out front to say hi. She walked out of the store with a few vinyls and stopped in her tracks when she saw him. 

“Hi,” he said, with a smile.

“What, are you stalking me now?”

“I was in the laundromat and I saw you in the window and thought I’d say hi.”

“Hi,” she said, walking away from him.

“You’re not much of a talker are you?”

“Can’t say that I am.”

Bucky took a few quick steps so that he was ahead of her and then came to a stop, blocking her path.

“You’re not afraid of me are you?” he said.

“Afraid of you? Why would I be afraid of you?”

“Most people are.”

“Okay well I’m not.”

“You may not be afraid of me, but I bet you’ve thought about me naked,” he said in his most sultry voice.

She stared at him for a moment, choosing her words very carefully. 

“Wow, am I that transparent?” she replied, sarcastically. With that she nudged him out of the way and continued on her path. She turned around and saw him standing there, watching her walk away. She stuck her tongue out at him and continued on her way. He lit a cigarette as he watched her trudge off in the opposite direction.

Bucky wasn’t giving up on her that easily. It wasn’t because he wanted to win the dare, now his interest was piqued. He could always rely on his good looks to charm women, but this girl was different. His normal moves weren’t even scratching the surface. He would have to get creative. He deduced from the run in at the record store that she liked music. As luck would have it, a local girl band was playing a set at one of the bars nearby and Bucky thought there was a good chance he might run into her there.

He walked into the bar and he immediately stuck out like a sore thumb. The place was filled with women and Bucky stood about a foot taller than everyone. He immediately made his way to the bar where he caught up with one of the bartenders he knew.

“What are you doing here man?” he asked Bucky.

Bucky downed a shot of Jameson and said, “I have no idea.” The bartender poured him another drink when Bucky saw Y/N dancing in the crowd. He almost didn’t recognize her with such a big smile on her face. She was usually scowling at him, but tonight she let her hair down and was laughing and dancing with her friends. He watched her for the next few songs when she suddenly started weaving through the crowd toward the bar. Bucky brought his attention back to the bar where he took a big swig of his drink and then gazed back up to watch the band. He saw Y/N approach the corner of the bar but he kept his attention focused on the band, waiting for her to approach him. She ordered a round of drinks and then she spotted him. 

She slid over toward him and said, “If you’re planning on asking me out, you might as well get it over with.”

“Do you mind?” he said, glancing at her briefly before looking back at the band, “I’m trying to listen.”

“You’re not even going to offer to buy me a drink?”

Bucky signaled to the bartender and ordered them two tequila shots and smiled at Y/N. The bartender placed the shots in front of them and Bucky took the salt shaker and sprinkled a pinch of salt on the back of her hand before doing the same to his own. He wedged the lime slice between his fingers and he held up the shot glass to her. She clinked his glass and they licked the salt, downed the shot, and then sucked on the limes. 

“So what are you doing here?” she finally asked him. 

“I come here a lot.”

“Not sure if you noticed, but you are one of the few guys in this bar right now.”

“Maybe this is where I come to pick up women.”

“I don’t believe you,” she said.

He shrugged, “I needed a change of scenery.”

“Ah, did you get hustled at your regular pool hall? Can’t show your face there anymore?”

“Something like that,” he smirked at her. 

“Well as much as I’d love to hear that story, I have people waiting on me,” she said, grabbing the round she ordered. She collected the glasses and turned, walking back towards the dancefloor. But Bucky wasn’t finished yet. He brought his drink and followed in her footsteps.

“Come to a party with me tomorrow,” he leaned over her shoulder and spoke in her ear. She turned to look at him, rolled her eyes, and shook her head in disbelief.

“Was that a yes?” he added.

“No.”

“Was it a no?”

“...No.”

“Great, I’ll see you at 10:30.” Before she could protest, he disappeared in the crowd.

“That smug son of a bitch,” she muttered to herself, returning to her friends.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes college au

[myobsessionsspace]

Who is Kim Young Jin?

The man behind the looks, bringing BTS' vision to life, from photo-folios, to music videos to high fashion magazine photoshoots.

Kim YoungJin and his team have worked with the members as a group and as individuals on their concerts and everything in between.

“Seoul-based stylist Youngjin Kim has been obsessed with fashion since he was a child, saving up his pocket money to buy magazines. “It was so special to me,” he remembers. After majoring in photography at college but leaning into the looks just as heavily, somebody suggested he give styling a go and well, the rest is history. These days, he’s working with BTS, but can also be found dressing the likes of NCT 127, Super M and Daniel Kang for cover features, campaigns and album artwork.”

ID Magazine - VICE Interview (March 2022)

👤What was your entry point to styling?

“I worked as an assistant to [Korean actor] Jin Oh Jeon’s stylist for about five years and came to understand the overall system of the Korean fashion scene. Looking back, that time was so precious; time that brought me to this moment, I guess.”

The man himself, Stylist @kimvinchey on IG

Kim YoungJin styled BTS and Bang SiHyuk for their TIME Magazine 2022 photos.

Kim YoungJin has been head stylist for MVs such as 'My Universe', styling Jimin for 'Vibe', j-hope for 'On The Street' to name but a few MVs

👤Tell us about the type of work you do.

“Styling for albums and projects such as “My Universe” by BTS and Coldplay is receiving tremendous attention on a global scale. Whenever I style an idol group, I think of a designer creating a collection. I mix and match clothes from different Japanese brands such as Comme des Garçons and Yohji Yamamoto, and I express my own aesthetic with styling to fit each concept. I also style various editorials for fashion magazines. I consider myself a fashion stylist, and when I first took on the role of an idol stylist, I was proud of demonstrating what kind of visuals could be created if a fashion stylist takes on an idol.”

Kim Youngjin has worked with the members on the brand ambassadorship endeavours, such as styling for mag shoots like the Valentino photoshoot with SUGA

👤Of course, a stylist doesn’t just ‘style’. You’re often a bridge between celebrities and brands — a look you introduce to an idol could quickly become a trend.

“Exactly. In many cases, celebrities or models with good momentum are recommended to brands or magazines, and if the celebrity is an ambassador of a fashion house, they communicate more closely with the fashion brand.”

👤What do you think is the most important thing in styling?

“I try to combine the latest fashion trends with classic items. For instance, I like pairing Levi's denim and casual sneakers with a Saint Laurent blazer. As details are crucial for men's clothes, the overall outfit is often impacted by details such as perfect length and sleeves.”

In Chapter 2 of BTS' journey, Kim YounJin has been part of many of the members solo projects that were even released post enlistment for some, such as j-hope LV campaign and styling for Esquire Magazine

👤Do you have a favourite brand or designer?

“I’ve always loved Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci, which has had a huge impact on me as a stylist. I have such respect for a person who has accomplished what they’ve wanted to do for a long time — I think Miuccia Prada and Raf Simons are both great in that regard too.”

“I’m 32, so I was in elementary and middle school in the 1990s, which was when I started getting into fashion. Since I was really young, like 10 years old, I used to go downtown to buy clothes by myself. In elementary school, I wore baggy sweatshirts and jeans like this Balenciaga ensemble. I liked hip-hop and K-pop even back then and would dress up like this and dance at school festivals. Retro fashion is back in style, so it doesn’t at all look out of place or time to dress like this again.”

Mr Porter - The Journal Interview (Oct 2020)

💜

Special Mention:

**Though Taehyung has worked with Kim YoungJin with group projects the Head Stylist for Taehyung (V) during Chapter 2, in particular his Layover Era has been @HIJIBIN, Taehyung's personal stylist.

Info on Kim YoungJin:

https://www.mrporter.com/en-sg/journal/fashion/youngjin-kim-contemporary-fashion-classic-style-k-pop-1445414

#Jimin #Jungkook #Jikook #Kookmin #BTS #RM #Namjoon #Jin #SUGA #Yoongi #Hoseok #j-hope #Taehyung #V #Kim YoungJin #Fashion #Stylist

[chongoblog]

I wannna make a ranking of the songs in my own albums. So I’m gonna start with the most recent one: Lakitu’s Mixtape Volume 1 (give it a listen if you haven’t already)

From worst to best

36. Go Baby Go Stupid

35. Feeling Good

34. Gold!

33. What The Frappe?

32. Beach That Makes You Breakdance

31. Slick And Twisted

30. Peach That Makes You Old

29. Call Me Shirley

28. Skydance

27. Look At The Time

26. I Love Mondays

25. Metro Mushroom

24. Wrench Discourse

23. Arcade Mention

22. Boing!

21. That’s A Space Station

20. Intense Night Drive

19. Battle Mention

18. Road Where You Go

17. 78 Years Later

16. Maple Leaf Momentum

15. Triforce Jam

14. Multiball

13. Rainbow Rock

12. Plant Gang

11. Maple Leaf Melody

10. Amp’d Up

9. Across the Cosmos

8. wah.wav

7. Tonight

6. Sugar Headache

5. Yes, Capes!

4. OSHA Non-Compliant

3. Prismatic Path

2 Pleasant Day Drive

1. Greetings

So a few notes on this ranking. First of all, Go Baby Go Stupid is only at the bottom because I feel like I made it too long and repetitive, and I was going to say it’s the only miss of the album, but a lot of people still really love it and even said its their fave, so I guess this was the most consistently rad album. Another thing of note is that if you’d told me on launch day that Amp’d Up would eventually grow to be in the Top Ten I would’ve called you a liar.

Anyway hope you enjoyed. Might do this for more of my albums.

#album ranking #my stuff #long post

[big-low-t]

My Record Store...

This was my record store in Charleston, West Virginia. It is closing. The owners are retiring. It breaks my heart, but at the same time it stirs up great memories and nostalgia.

It's 1979, a young and innocent Tim (yeah, 10 or 11 year old me) convinced his mother to stop at Budget Tapes and Records. I needed to get the latest Bad Company album. Hey, "Rock and Roll Fantasy" was a good song, but I can't say I was impressed by much of the rest of the album. My record kept skipping, so I took it back, got another and it skipped too. One of the kind folks at Budget suggested I go to the audio store a few doors down and get a new needle for my fairly cheap stereo system. I did and it worked. No more skipping.

It was the start of some special memories. I got my first Iron Maiden record there. The "Maiden Japan" live EP. Very quickly afterwards I was grabbing everything else Iron Maiden had released up to that point. Picked up my first Motorhead album there, too.

This would be my record store of choice up until around 1990 when I moved out of state after college for a job.

Once I had my driver's license I stopped there at least once a week. It got to be where one of the main employees, John, would see me come in and yell "Hey Timmmmm, we just got something in that I think you'll like..." He was pretty much always right. I remember him playing the promo copies of "Electric" by the Cult and "Nothing's Shocking" by Jane's Addiction to me. I bought the promo copy of that Cult album on the cheap when they were done playing it in the store a few months later. I think I still have it stashed away somewhere. By the way, John still works there, has been for 48 years, but that will be ending once they close on March 3rd.

I met some cool people there while browsing for records. One dude a friend and I bumped into in the metal import section began raving about a band called Celtic Frost... before we left the store parking lot we hopped in his back seat and he blasted the song "Dethroned Emperor" to us. I just remember looking at my buddy and saying "Holy shit!" Blew me away.

Another time I bumped into the "other guy." It seems that between me and this other guy, we would be the ones who usually bought the latest heavy metal import albums. But for a long time we didn't know that. Once we met and started talking we became friends. We would record a cassette tape for each other of the albums we got that the other didn't have.

So many good memories from a place that's been around nearly as long as I have been alive.

But it will all be ending in a few days. Another piece of my past crumbling away into the dust of memories.

I can still hear this dude yelling "Timmmmm, you gotta check this new album out we just got in..."

Those were good days.

#big low t #my record store #charleston #west virginia #budget tapes & records

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

No Kids**

This is a quick smutty one about husband/dad Harry finally having sex with Y/N, his wife, after a several month long drought.

Warnings: oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, talk of pregnancy, lactation.

WC: 3.1k

Check out the rest of my writing here:)

When Harry’s alarm went off at 6:30am you groaned softly before turning away from his body to allow him to either get out of bed or snooze it. You were accustomed to the former; Harry was very serious about sticking to his workout regimen and hardly ever missed a day at either the yoga studio, pilates bar, the pool, or a simple run around the neighborhood. In other words you were used to mornings alone now. 

It wasn’t as bad as it sounded. You quite liked this actually; stretching out on the bed and taking up as much space as you wanted (even if it was a king mattress), not feeling too hot with Harry’s furnace of a body around you, nor too cold because he’d sometimes kick off the covers when he felt too stuffy. And most importantly, for the next 15 or so minutes you would enjoy absolute and unbothered silence. The kids wouldn’t be un until at least 6:45 if they were right on schedule and you cherished that time alone, there didn’t seem to be very much of it in supply these days. So as you felt Harry’s weight roll away you smiled, getting ready to enjoy the best part of your day. His alarm stopped and next thing you knew he was rolling back towards you and pulling you back into his chest. It was strange to you, even more so as you felt him hard against your backside.

Marriage, kids, the white picket fence dream, it had its perks but it also had its downsides. Like your life wasn’t yours anymore and Harry’s wasn’t Harry’s anymore, your lives were devoted to your kids now and they took up a lot of your time. Harry was still as busy as ever. He assumed that after taking a nearly year long hiatus from the scene his demand would decrease and he could ease back into the limelight, but it appeared that the limelight had been eagerly awaiting his return. Music had a pretty basic year without his unapologetically himself sound in the mix of it all. Fashion was the same, there wasn’t someone out there who was both daring and confident enough to pull anything off. While he still didn’t have too much film under his belt, people were always trying to sign him onto their projects and well, you had seen a film or two that he’d turned down and you could picture just how much better the film would’ve been if he had accepted. 

Harry had started his hiatus on the 6 month of your second pregnancy. You had a 1 year old who you couldn’t manage alone from there on out. But as he neared month 10 of his hiatus he was so fucking restless and antsy that it was driving you insane. Yes, he was still very hands-on and helpful with the kids, but he was clearly distracted and you could tell that he was struggling to not go back to work. You didn’t want him to feel like he couldn’t do both things, that was the point of the hiatus to help him transition into being a father of two, to help him figure out how to balance everything. So you talked about it and just a few weeks later he was back in the studio with his usual crew and had put an album together in a little less than three months. He’d be gone for days sometimes, you were used to that from before, but it was a little different this time because when he came back It wasn’t like you just locked yourselves away to make up for lost time like before. No, now when he came back it was to baby barf, poopy diapers, crying, mischievous 2 year old, and an exhausted you- there wasn’t time for them and it did create some distance. All of this to say that you and Harry hadn’t had sex in 6 months, maybe a little longer. So, feeling his hard-on rocking against your bum was unexpected. And while you would normally be thrilled, this was alone time, this was your 15 minutes of peace and the fact that he was taking that away from you was a bit disappointing.

“What are you doing?” You mumbled tiredly, “Shouldn’t you be off to work out?” You grumbled.

“What are you talking about?” he smiled, you could hear it in his voice as he responded.

“The kids’ll be up in like 10 minutes and I just need these couple of minutes to have a proper power nap, H.” you grumbled and he chuckled as he pressed a kiss to your shoulder.

“Baby, no kids today. They’re at your parents’ remember?” He asked lowly as he peeled the thin strap of your pajama top off of your shoulder and continued sponging kisses up and down from your shoulder to the base of your neck. Your eyes fluttered open as you recalled that yes, indeed there were no kids around today. You two had gone out the night before. Nothing crazy, Just dinner and a little underground indie show in Hollywood. Your parents agreed to have the kids until you guys came over for dinner the following day.

“Right.” You hummed, your mood changing almost immediately. He even felt your body relax more in his arms and he smiled.

“So?” He whispered near your ear suggestively, “Does my wife want t’fuck?” He asked as one of his hands slid down your center and rubbed your clit through your shorts. You whimpered softy as you got more and more aroused.

In moments Harry had you on your back and naked as he kissed up your thighs. He hadn’t gone down on you since…well you couldn’t remember, but it was at some point early on in your pregnancy. So feeling his hot breath fanning over you as he held your legs open was the ultimate form of foreplay. You were basically going to be done for when he licked your clit. And boy, he did not disappoint as his tongue and fingers played with all of your most sensitive spots. His fingers were curled deep inside of you, pulsing against your g-spot as his tongue flicked deliciously at your clit, you were seeing spots as your mouth parted in a silent cry. You were so close! You exhaled shakily and then pulled a pillow over your face as you felt your orgasm approaching.

Harry was pulling out all of the stops to make you feel good and he was frustrated that you weren’t responding how you usually would, but when he spared a glance up and saw you holding a pillow over your face it dawned on him that you forgot that you could be loud right now. He smiled and pulled his mouth away from your center and your high started to fizzle out and you removed the pillow to look down at him already glancing up at you from between your legs.

“No kids.” Harry reminded and you gigged quietly.

“Right. No kids.” You hummed happily as he started fucking you faster with his fingers.

“So I want to hear you, baby.” He urged, “Can you do that f’me, baby?” Harry asked and you nodded. As soon as he got your confirmation he got back to using his mouth on you and you let out a satisfied moan.

“Yes. Mmmfuck, that feels so good…” You sighed in pleasure as you heard the slurping and wet sounds of his mouth and fingers working up your orgasm quickly again. “Ohmygod, ohmygod!” Your slurred your words together as you felt the muscles in your stomach start to tense. You could feel your walls throbbing around his fingers and he groaned against your pussy as he felt it too, you were so close for him. He hadn’t made you come in ages and he just wanted to make you feel good again. Like he used to. “I-I’m coming!” You mewled as your back arched and hips bucked up as you planted your feet on the mattress. Harry moaned as he fucked your g-spot more intentionally as your cries got louder and louder and before he knew it you were very softly squirting into the palm of his hand. He was doing his best to follow the movement of your hips to ensure that he saw your orgasm through all the way and boy, did he. He didn’t even mean to make you come twice, but after removing his fingers from you he just use his mouth to clean you up a bit and ease you off of the intensity of your orgasm, but soon he was holding your thighs apart as they threatened to lock around his head and suffocate him against your swollen and messy pussy as you came for him once more.

You felt like your throat and chest were on fire as you struggled to breathe properly as the pleasure from your orgasm rippled through your body beautifully. The feeling giving you that little spark of energy you had been missing for a while now. Soon that feeling started becoming a bit much and you whimpered as you pushed Harry’s head away and he quickly pulled off of your clit and kissed your inner thighs, then your mons, then your lower stomach, and up your torso, sternum, neck and then jaw, and finally he was hovering over your lips wearing a victorious smile before he kissed you deeply for a few moments.

“God, I forgot how good you are at that.” You panted and he smirked, but that soon faded. “What?” You asked with concern.

“You shouldn’t forget how good it feels. I’m sorry.” He said lowly and you shook your head.

“Oh baby, it’s not your fault. Things are just different now.” You said and that didn’t seem to make him feel better.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean that we should neglect ourselves.” He said and you sighed.

“Well H, I don’t think we’re neglecting ourselves. I think we just indulge in different things now. Like my 15 minutes of undisturbed sleep after you leave and before the kids wake up.” You explained, “I don’t even know how many times I’ve caught you dozed off in your office…we've got other things going on now so we just need different things than before.” You reasoned, “And that doesn’t mean we don’t need these kinds of things, we just need other things more now.” You concluded.

“I get that but… I should appreciate you more and everything that you do.” He said quietly, “I need to do more to remind you that I love you and that I’m still interested in you in that way, you know? Make you feel like my girl, not just like my wife and mother of my children.” He said and you smiled.

“You’re sweet.” You hummed at his words.

“I’m serious. Baby, I’m still in love with you, I mean how could I not be?” He said and you blushed under his intense gaze and his beautiful words, “You’re absolute perfection. You know that? You look after me, you support me, you love me. You’ve made my dream life a reality. You gave me the two most beautiful babies planet earth has ever seen. You mean everything to me and I don’t want to make elaborate schemes like this just to show you that. I'm going to make an effort to show you every day,” He said and you cupped his face in your hands and kissed his lips.

“I don’t doubt you. Ever, H. I said yes to you. To us. To everything we could grow to be. I knew things would change and boy, have they changed.” You chuckled and he smiled and nodded, “Granted, we could both do a bit more to show each other our appreciation. But I just want you to know that I am still happy.” You assured him and he smiled, “I love you.”

“I love you.” He hummed happily, “Now, are you up for some sex?” He grinned.

“I never thought you'd ask!” you exclaimed and he chuckled. 

Everything was sweet and giggly, much like it had been before. Your intimacy was so special and as out of touch as you may have felt with each other, seconds before he slipped inside of you, your eyes met and an unspoken message was shared between them. It suddenly felt like no time had passed between you two at all, there wasn’t any time lost. There were no missed opportunities. You just led a different life now, but the overpowering love you had for each other still simmered beneath the surface of everything. Maybe it wasn’t expressed like this as often as it used to be, but it was certainly what fueled the fire of your marriage. It’s what kept you going and trying. It was the hearth of your relationship as soulmates. You smiled and nodded and he surged his hips forward and sunk inside of you.

“Oh fuuuck.” Harry moaned lowly and you just whimpered as he sank in as deep as he could go. It had been too fucking long, Harry was hoping he could last at least last 10 minutes and that was proving difficult as your walls adjusted to his intrusion. So soft and warm and snug around him. He exhaled sharply through his nose as his throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly. He knew what he needed to do to last a bit longer. He reached to the side of your head and dragged a pillow down. Without drawing out of you, he managed to raise your hips a bit as he knelt up and slid the pillow under. Your heart started pounding in nerves and excitement as he brought his body over yours again and kissed you.

“Baby, what you’re doing is dangerous.” You warned with a nervous chuckle and he shrugged.

“So?” He smirked.

“Baby, we said two. Only two.”

“I know.” He assured as he ground his hips into yours and your body tensed and his smirk only intensified as he watched the effect his body had on yours.

There was nothing wrong with this sex position - the coital alignment. In fact, it was perfect. Imagine getting stimulated in the deepest most delicious part of you all while your clit is being rubbed in perfect time to the internal movements. It was perfection, it was bliss, heaven on earth. But every time you’d had sex like this you’d ended up pregnant and when Harry even thought about trying for a baby it unleashed a part of him that made you desperate for him. For more of him, those times were so good that you were begging him to get you pregnant and well…wish came true. Both times. So yes, you were a bit wary of this position and what it could mean for you. As much as you loved your little girls, pregnancy was more lows than highs for you. So after your second little girl came you had both agreed that two was it. Harry was supposed to have a vasectomy, but he went back to work early and just continued to put it off, which didn’t matter before, seeing as you weren’t having sex, but now you were having sex and he was Fertile. With a capital F because each time he had successfully gotten you pregnant during your first attempts and that was scary.

“My period ended last week. If I get pregnant from this I’m gonna-”

“I’ll run out and get you a plan B later.” He assured and you let your head fall back onto your pillow as you laughed, “I promise, baby.” He assured and you sighed.

“OK.” You agreed and he grinned as he started to grind his hips into yours again. Your clit had already been sensitive from him going down on you so this stimulation had your stomach tightening up and your breath hitching in absolutely no time. His cock was rubbing and gently prodding at that spot that was making your vision blur with tears of pleasure. Suddenly you gasped as you felt your right boob start to ache. Fucking shit, it was past feeding time you thought to yourself. Harry was quick to notice the change of expression on your face.

“Am I hurting you?” He asked as he slowed down and you shook your head.

“No, baby. It’s just I’ve usually fed Daisy by now so I’m sore.” You explained and he nodded in understanding. He looked down at your breasts and saw that the right one was looking more firm and swollen than the other. The skin was quite taut as he could slightly see your veins under your skin, “I just need to pump for a bit and then we can keep-what’re you doing?!” You asked in shock as he leaned down to your breast.

“Helping.” He said simply as he very gently licked over your nipple and you whimpered pathetically at the feeling of having it touched erotically for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. He then started to speed up the movement of his hips, rocking deep into you and you moaned loudly. When you felt the first suck of him against your nipple your nearly orgasmed, it pushed you so fucking close. Harry could feel your walls suffocating his cock and maybe he wasn’t going to last as long as he was hoping. He was grinding his cock into you, pubic bone rubbing your clit over and over, while his mouth was latched around your areola as he sucked the milk out of your completely swollen breast and it was driving him insane. You too apparently and he loved that. He swallowed down what was in his mouth before he kissed you hard, “Better?” He asked and you nodded, “Do you want me to do it again?” He asked through his bated breathing, “S’it gonna make my girl come?” He asked.

“Yes, fuck! Pleasepleaseplease!” You whined out and he groaned as he sucked your nipple into his mouth again while your fingers pulled hard at his hair. His balls were so full and achey, much like your breasts, and he had so much of his own creamy load of sperm to give you. Your skin was covered in goosebumps as your legs trembled around his narrow hips and your toes curled as your orgasm started to come over you. “Fuck Harry, don’t stop! I’m gonna come!” You cried out loudly and he pulled off of your boob and hovered his face over yours, his eyes were dark and your breast milk was dripping from the corner of his mouth and he had never looked hotter than he did at this moment.

“Just give me a second.” He said and you whined and closed your eyes, “Nu-uh, look at me, baby. Look at me while I make you cum.” He grunted his demand. The depth of his voice felt like it rumble through your body and you swore your eyes crossed as your orgasm just exploded through your body. You gasped and wailed, you were squirting again and a tidal wave of tingles and warmth washed through your entire body. Your ears were ringing and your blurry eyes focused on Harry’s eyes. His eye brows were creased low and he was grunting, you could barely hear it over the ringing of your ears, but soon he was lowering his face to yours and you just hugged him tight to your body as he started to shoot his load deep inside of you with long drawn out moans of satisfaction. He slowly rode you both through the full experience, making sure that he milked every ounce of pleasure out of the experience for you both.

Several minutes passed without you moving from the position you were in. Your bodies were hot and sticky. Plus yours was sore, you hadn’t done this much cardio or physical activity in a while. Your fingers gently scratched along Harry’s head as you relished in the silence and comfort of being alone with each other. You were tingling all over and riding such a high that you had even forgotten about your tender breast until some of it started to trickle out and Harry raised his head from your chest to see you literally leaking out in little streaks and he started to laugh.

“What?” You asked and then saw the little stream coming out of your breast and you groaned, “So embarrassing.”

“Your body is amazing. The fact you can even do that is incredible…Anyway, I’ll get the pump.” He said and pulled out of you far sooner than either of you wanted and headed around to your bedside table and handed you the pumps from the drawer. You set them up and just rested against the headboard with a tired sigh as your eyes fluttered closed as you let the machines do their thing. Then you felt the warmth of Harry nearby and he kissed you on the forehead, the tip of the nose, and then the lips, you were already smiling by then and so was he. “Thank you, baby.” he whispered against your mouth.

“For what?” You asked as you blinked your eyes open and Harry smiled at you.

“For choosing me to have all of this with.” He said and you sighed as your eyes welled up with tears and he cooed a gentle “don’t cry, baby” to you as he wiped the tears away from under your eyes.

“They're tears of joy. I promise.” You swallowed thickly and he smiled and leaned in to kiss you again, “I wouldn’t want this with anyone else. I love you.” You whispered in between kisses.

“I love you most.” Harry hummed.

----Tag List ----

@justlemmeadoreyou @daphnesutton @angelbabyyy99 @reveriehs @cherrysulewski @jessitpwk @gurugirl @sunflovverharry @sunshinemoonsposts @ottawaoutlander @permanentllyharry @here4thefanfics

#harry styles smut #harry styles smutty fan fic #harrys styles smutty fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles smutty one shot #harry smut #husband harry styles #dad harry #harry styles #harry one shut #husbandrry #husbandrry smnut #harry styles reader insert #harry styles reader insert fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles writing #harry styles fic #writing #0nlythrowharrybeaux

[lordeemailarchive]

Pure Heroine turns 10

(27/09/2023) (PH 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY DISPATCH)

Living in Ruins of a Palace within My Dreams

Photo by Simeon Patience

Hi,

Firstly, I wanna say thank you for your extremely supportive and kind messages after my last newsletter. I genuinely feel deeply cared for, less alone, and more sure that things will be okay after sending it! Albeit with a slight overshare hangover. I think a part of me knew that I had hit a wall, and that I needed to invite in the compassion and understand I’d been struggling to generate on my own, and then I’d have something to draw from and mirror. It feels like it’s working. I feel incredibly grateful that we have this relationship, that we can each give when the other needs it. Beautiful stuff x

Now, might U have noticed it’s 2013 mode round here????????? Yes that’s right, it’s a very special anniversary… Pure Heroine is... ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡TEN ˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚ YEARS ˚༘♡ ⋆｡˚ OLD ੈ✩‧₊˚ TODAY ! ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

You may (like me most of the time) hold the opinion that this album has been MYTHOLOGISED QUITE ENOUGH, but a milestone is a milestone, so I thought coming here and typing some shit to u about this time would be a fun thing for those who care.

2 xxxxtra special ltd time only commemorative designs by Hassan, who did the original of this bootleg tee 10 years ago❤️

It’s close to midnight, and I’ve just finished scrolling through my entire computer and phone archive from 2011-2013. Going on this memory lane ride has reminded me, for one thing, what a different time it was technologically. We were just starting to be able to see ourselves in real time, but we weren’t constantly connected. I had an iPod touch until halfway through 2013, which didn’t have a front camera or internet access, and my sister and I shared a MacBook, which is where we did our schoolwork and I wrote my lyrics. I took my first few years of selfies on Photo Booth…. Just let that… sink in!!!

Note the Royals Nat Geo pic in background— it’s happening...

When I was fourteen, my greatest work of art was my bedroom. A very cool, very classic teenage bedroom, Andie’s and Duckie’s from Pretty in Pink meets the Virgin Suicides— fairy lights, fabric on the ceiling, candles, stolen road signs (badman), paper lanterns, beer crate shelves, magazine pictures and club night posters and permanent marker on the walls. Bliss! I’d sit up there and vibe out, taking a lot of selfies. Creating a small-scale work of art using the self, and then examining the product from every angle, was the best method I had to express myself and exercise creativity at that time, and I now see it as an important PH incubation phase, whether I knew it or not. Something really amazing about a young person starting to see their own face and body for the first time, coming to a very secret understanding that they are beautiful. 

I started to smoke weed, which gave me a deeper understanding of sensory pleasure, and allowed me to start to see my world as a possible work of art. I’d go on long walks around the neighbourhood, and began to mythologise the stuff around me (big empty floodlit rugby fields/bus rides/dark streets/boredom/isolation) into the motifs that would become Pure Heroine. I wore a lot of like, navy lipsticks from the 2 dollar shop. God, this aesthetic, It’s just TOO MUCH.

At some point in here, I met Joel, and another piece of the puzzle clicked into place. When you’re a teenager, you’re particularly sensitive to adults being condescending to you, not respecting the specific and finely tuned skills you have because of the ones you don’t. I was always on the look out for it, and from the first day meeting Joel, I knew that he would never give me that feeling. Which I’m sure wasn’t easy — my wallet at the time was the foot of a pair of tights that I cut off and knotted at the top — but somehow from the very beginning he made me feel like my ideas had value, like we were peers, in the most sensitive and age-appropriate way. 

My view for thousands of hours making this album

We got on a call earlier this week and broke down the complete history of making the album. We both agreed that making Pure Heroine was deeply exciting and intimate and free, and still one of our most treasured experiences. I’ve linked it here.The second half of 2013 is when I really met the world, went to America and Australia and Europe for the first time. I found an incredible (for some reason Christmas themed) disposable camera image of my stage outfits all over the floor of my hotel room, which really sums up how ad hoc everything was at the beginning — a jetlagged sixteen year old, late for lobby call and frantically stuffing thousands of dollars of borrowed clothes into a suitcase. 

In this stage, it felt like I pulled everything off by the skin of my teeth. Every week was the most exciting week of my whole life, I was so tired and still didn’t have a winter coat and took everyone clamouring for a piece of me completely for granted. I had zero cultural context, had no idea if an interview or TV show was huge or small, and so breezed through it all truly not giving a fuck. I am not a naturally nonchalant person, it was literally just too much to care about, I could hardly get up in the morning, so I just said absolutely whatever I felt like, all kinds of wild shit, if someone did something corny I’d say so, I was ruthless in that way that only teens are. Then through that year we went on our first tours, met you guys for the first time, hours and hours of hugs after the show, my favourite part so far and where it started to feel real for me. James took a lot of beautiful film photos through that time, and I’m really grateful he did.

Ten years goes really fast. One minute you’re wearing a leather collar with a giant crystal hanging off it to a Chanel party, and the next you’re blonde. A lot of stuff isn’t good after ten years. But I am still totally touched by this sweet record. I have deep respect for the vision of the little one making it. 

Going back through all of this has reminded me of something that feels important to point out, whether you make art or not: everything starts out as a bunch of bullshit in a laptop. Pure Heroine was a handful of Photo Booth selfies and emotional Word documents and Tumblr posts (and a gorgeous over-decorated bedroom) before it was even one song. I had no reason, on paper, to believe that I was capable of anything. But if you can trust that the first impulse you had to create came from a place of deep wisdom, develop a few principles for your decision-making, and absorb a lot of stuff you find inspiring, you’ll have something special on your hands. Pure Heroine exists because I had the tiniest inkling of what I’ve now come to see as one of my guiding principles: that each of us have a handful of songs inside us that are ours, and only ours, to sing. Your specific interests and upbringing and physiology and experiences exist only in you; you are sitting on a gold mine that no one can rob. Whatever that means to you, whatever that statement you were born to make is, I invite you to take a big breath and make it.

All my love for another ten years of all this, and more, and more—

Ella XXXXXXXXXX

(source: received this email)

[freezerbrldes]

A Long, Unfortunate while

PAIRING. Lucy Gray Baird x Coriolanus Snow

WARNINGS. Mentions of abuse and SA (not too in-depth but its still there)

AUTHOR'S NOTE. This is my first time writing and using Tumblr so please bear with me lol. This series is based on the album Preacher's Daughter by Ethel Cain. If you're unfamiliar with that album I highly recommend listening to it because it is honestly one of the greatest albums in the last decade. I changed some of the story up so it's not so predictable for people who know the lore behind the album. Also, I made Lucy Gray 18 years old and Coryo 20 years old for the sake of this story because it gets pretty dark towards the end (iykyk).

credit to @cafekitsune for dividers

now on ao3

Chapter One: American Teenager

I stand before the mirror, amazed at how the rainbow dress paired with the cream-colored corset and subtle makeup transformed my features. I’m not one to dress up, but since I’m attending the homecoming dance with Billy Taupe, I need to wear something other than my usual oversized t-shirts and baggy jeans. 

Never in a million years did I think he’d ever ask me out, let alone as his homecoming date. Billy and I grew up together in Shady Grove, a very small town in rural Alabama. We’ve never been close friends in school, but I always had a huge crush on him. He is the star player on the football team and is by far the most sought-after guy in school. 

Billy had been dating Arachne Crane, the captain of the cheer squad and the local bitch of Shady Grove High. He caught her making out with Fetus Creed under the bleachers after a game a few months ago, he broke up with her right on the spot. Since then he has talked to me more than he ever has. I didn’t think much of it until one day after chemistry class he stopped me in the hallway and asked me to homecoming. I was shocked but accepted anyway, hoping it would eventually lead us into a relationship.

I walked down the steps where my mother was ready with her Polaroid camera. 

“Oh my” she exclaimed, “You look beautiful.” She began snapping picture after picture, my eyes closed in almost every single one from how blinding the flash was. She grabbed my arms and tried to position me into a pose, taking even more pictures. After about 10 more photos, I had enough.

“Okay Mama, you got more than enough pictures, I need to go,” I say as I hear Billy pull into the driveway, honking the horn to let me know he’s here. 

“Let me go outside and say hi to the boy, I haven’t seen him in so long,” She says as she tries to open the door and walk outside. I immediately shut the door and blocked it with my body. 

“Please no, mama, he’s in a hurry and we gotta leave right now.” I began cracking open the door and inching my way through before my mother could get outside., not wanting her to embarrass men in front of Billy. 

Billy hops out of the truck and opens the passenger side door for me. 

“Wow, Lucy Gray, you look... stunning,” He says with a laugh as he looks me up and down. I blush at his words, not used to receiving compliments. 

“Thank you, Billy, you look great too” I replied. 

“Oh, Thanks,” Billy said. “It's the same suit I wore to your dad’s funeral.”

My heart sinks at his response.

My father passed away four years ago. He was the preacher at Shady Grove Baptist church for over 25 years. He was well respected around town. Everyone loved him and the services he led every Sunday. If only they knew what a monster that man was when he was not leading the congregation.

He and Mama did a good job of acting like they were happy together whenever they were at church or neighborhood cookouts, but no one could see the bruises that he would leave on my and Mama's bodies sometimes.

I shake myself out of my memories as Billy helps me into his truck and heads towards the school. The drive was mostly quiet. Every now and then he'll ask me about church or tell me about his recent football games, which I pretend to care about.

He parks the truck in the parking lot as I watch all the girls dressed in lavish ball gowns enter the school, they all make mine look insignificant in comparison. Billy helps me out of the truck and into the gymnasium. 

The room was filled to the brim with people, the DJ playing terrible remixes of various pop songs as people danced. I’m not a party girl, never even been to one other than birthday parties as a kid. The thought of the loud music mixed with sweaty bodies grinding against each other was enough to steer me far away from that lifestyle.

“I’m going to get us some punch, I’ll be right back,” Billy says as he maneuvers through the sea of people. 

I find an empty table in the corner away from all the commotion and make my way over to it. I take a seat and watch the crowd as everyone dances along to the music. Billy emerges from the crowd holding two glasses of red punch. 

“Thanks,” I say as I take the drink from him and have a sip. We sit in silence as the opening notes of Time After Time play. Billy looks over at me and places a hand over mine.

“Would you like to dance?” I look down at our hands and then look back at him. 

“Uh, sure, but I’ve never danced before,” I reply, my eyes avoiding his in embarrassment as I finish the last of my punch.

“That’s fine, I’ll teach ya” Billy stands from the table, his hand now holding mine, as he leads us to an empty spot on the dance floor. He places my hands on his shoulders before placing his on my hips. 

Billy began to sway us back and forth with the music and for a moment it felt like we were the only two people in the room. My confidence began to grow as I rested my head on his chest, listening to the beat of his heart instead of the music.

His grip on my waist got tighter as he pulled me closer to his body., my chest now flush against his. He begins kissing up the side of my neck as his hands move further down my waist and he grips my ass. I feel him snake a hand up my thigh and under my dress.

“Billy, what are you doing?” I muttered, trying to push his hands off of me, but his grip was too strong. At the same time, I began to feel a little dizzy, Did he put something in my punch?

"Just relax, baby," He whispers into my ear. He then grinds his crotch into my thigh as his hands search for the waistband of my panties.

"Billy, stop, let me go," I beg quietly, but he ignores my pleas.

Before he could get any further, a shrill voice spoke, causing Billy and I to both jump.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Lucy Gray Baird, what a surprise! I wasn’t expecting Billy to bring you to homecoming. I see he’s almost won the bet.” Arachne laughed, and her cheerleader friends giggled along with her. “Arachne, leave her alone,” Billy muttered, getting in between her and me. 

“Bet? What bet?” I questioned. “Billy, what is she talking about?” 

“I-It’s nothing Lucy Gray really-” 

“Billy made a bet with Festus that he could get laid by the preacher’s daughter,” Arachne interrupted, grinning widely. 

My face heated up as I felt tears well up in my eyes. This was all part of a bet? I thought to myself. I glared at Billy as he desperately tried to talk his way out of this.

“I-I wasn’t being serious, We were just joking around, I would never try to pressure you into anything I swear.” He stutters, his hand scratching the back of his neck.

“Did you really think Billy would ever go for you willingly?” Arachne snickered, “You look like a circus clown in that dress, and besides, the only reason he came here tonight with you is to get a quick 50 bucks”

“That’s not true, I came here with you because I-” Billy is cut off by Arachne’s giggling once again.

“Oh my god Billy, you like her?”

“N-no, I didn’t say that-” Billy adds, before he finished his sentence I turned away and headed towards the door. Before I could get to the door, Arachne cut me off and threw her punch all over my dress, staining it a dark scarlet red. I felt all eyes on me as she began to laugh. Soon it sounded like everyone in the room was laughing at me.

I pushed my way through the crowd and ran out the door and through the parking lot, walking down the empty, dark road. The sound of cicadas chirping in the trees surrounded me as I made my way down the street.

I had no clue if it was whatever Billy slipped into my punch, but all I wanted to do was run into the forest and let the wildlife consume me alive. Anything at this point would be better than facing everyone in class on Monday, especially Billy and Acrachne, but the thought of leaving Mama all alone, not knowing what happened to me quickly sucked me right out of that thought.

About 30 minutes into my walk, Headlights illuminate the road as they head towards me. An old beat-up pickup truck pulls over on the side of the road a few feet in front of me. As I walk past the window is rolled down to reveal a young man with long blond hair behind the wheel.

“You know, it's not safe to walk on the side of the road when it's this dark,” he says with a friendly smile,  “Do you need a ride?” 

I took a moment to think. I hear a lot of horror stories about women getting kidnapped from hitchhiking like this, but this guy looks very nice and he seems to be worried about my safety. There’s no a way crazed serial killer would ever be in a town this small anyway. 

“Yeah, I’d love that,” I answered as I approached the truck, getting into the passenger seat. I got in and gave him directions to my house, which was about 25 minutes away from the school. 

“My name’s Coriolanus, what’s yours?” He asks, I notice his accent is a lot different from anyone around here, he must be from out of town. 

“Lucy Gray,” I replied as he began to drive.

“Lucy Gray.. That’s a pretty name,” He smiles at me. 

“You don’t sound like you’re from here, where are you from?” I asked, looking over at his large collection of cassette tapes on the dashboard. From the looks of it, he must really like Metallica.

“I’m from Florida, I’m just passing through here on my way to California.” He answers as he lights a cigarette. 

“You’re driving from Florida to California? Isn’t that like a 40-hour drive?” I inquired, this man has to be insane or something to wanna do that all by himself.

“Yes, it's a very long drive,” he laughed. “My father was a truck driver and would always come home talking about how therapeutic driving all across America was, I’m hoping I’ll find it just as therapeutic as he did,” Coriolanus mutters, he looked almost sad for a second but quickly snapped out of it. "And there are so many more opportunities for me out there than there are back home."

I could almost sense the sadness in the air as he spoke about his father, he must have lost his father too. Almost like he knew I was going to question him about his father, he spoke again.

“May I ask what you are dressed up for?” He asks, glancing at my dress.

“I was at the homecoming dance tonight at school, my date was a dick so I left,” I said, playing with my hands in my lap as I spoke.

“God, that sucks,” Coriolanus replied, “well, he’s missing out big time, you are a very beautiful girl” he looks over at me and smiles sweetly. “What’s all that red on your dress?”

“My date’s ex-girlfriend decided to throw her drink at me before I left, I guess she was jealous that I went to the dance with him instead of her,” I said as I laughed slightly, feeling comfortable around Coriolanus as I spoke about my humiliating experience.

“Yeah, I imagine,” He says as he looks over my dress once more.

I watched Coriolanus as he continued to drive down the dark highway. He notices and quickly looks over, his eyes meet mine for the first time. I’m taken aback by his blue eyes are, they're almost as blue as a clear sunny sky. He smiles as I blush and look back down at my lap nervously.

“I’ve always dreamed of leaving Shady Grove, starting a new life in a big city somewhere,” I confessed. 

Coriolanus looked at me as I stared out the window.

“I know we don’t know each other at all,” he started, “but if you were up for it, you could join me on my trip.”

I looked over at him again, my eyes lit up. 

“You want me to stay?” I asked, a smile forming on my lips.

“I won’t force you into anything of course, but I could really use the company,” Coriolanus smiled, “I feel like I might go insane driving all by myself,” He laughs as he waits for me to answer.

Living in a small town, you’re not really taught to not talk to strangers. Everyone knows everyone, a little too much sometimes. Coriolanus seems like a genuinely good person, and he’s offering me a chance to escape, one that may never come again. I know my Mama would miss me, but once I get to California I’ll be sure to write her to let her know I’m okay. This is my one shot at leaving the town, and I'm not about to pass it up.

“I’d love to join you, Coriolanus,” I replied, grinning at him once again.

He looks at me, returning a smile.

“Well then, let’s get out of here, Lucy Gray.”

#snowbaird #a ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow #lucy gray baird #lucy gray x coriolanus #tbosbas #coriolanus smut #coryo snow #coryo smut #ethel cain #preachers daughter #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus fanfiction #coriolanus x you #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow smut #young coriolanus snow #coriolanus fluff

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

"It’s more than sales – it inspired an entire generation of young girls to know they had a place in heavy music." Inside Fallen: the album that turned Evanescence into instant 21st century metal superstars

No rock band had an explosive a rise in the 2000s as Evanescence. This is the story of their classic debut album

Evanescence’s Amy Lee was at one of the many awards ceremonies she attended back in the first half of the 2000s when she was approached by a fan. This wasn’t unusual in itself, except this fan happened to be rapper and mogul P. Diddy.

“He said, ‘I love your album, I listen to it when I work out’,” Amy tells Hammer today. “And I was like ‘Really? That’s awesome!’ That was surprising to me. You know who I am? That’s weird.” Weird is right. Just a couple of years earlier, Amy had been a shy, aspiring singer and songwriter who had played no more than a handful of times with the band she’d co-founded as 13-year-old almost a decade earlier. And now here she was, getting star-spotted by hip hop A-listers at swanky awards ceremonies.

“What do they call that thing? Imposter syndrome!” she recalls today. “I definitely felt like I’d snuck in the back door and somehow got to go to the Grammys. Like, ‘I’m not supposed to be here and people do not know who we are and this is a prank.’ I think part of that is just it all happening so fast and being so young.”

The reason for the attention was down to the blockbusting success of Evanescence’s debut album, Fallen. Originally released in March 2003, and about to be reissued as a deluxe 20th anniversary edition, Fallen appeared at the tail-end of the nu metal boom. It offered a gothier, more dramatic take on that sound, which bridged nu metal and both the rising symphonic metal and emo scenes. It would go on to sell more than 10 million copies in the US alone, turning Amy Lee into an icon and role model for a generation of young, female fans.

Amy describes the young, pre-Evanescence version of herself as “a little bit shy”. Earlier this year, she told Hammer’s sister magazine, Classic Rock, that the death of her younger sister, Bonnie, when Amy was six, was a catalyst for “this soul, spirit- searching, expression mode”, which would eventually manifest itself in music. She wrote her first song aged 12, and others quickly followed. “I wrote plenty of songs that were crap,” she says with a laugh. “You just haven’t heard them.”

Things became more serious when she met future Evanescence guitarist Ben Moody in 1994 at a Christian Youth Camp in Little Rock, Arkansas, where her family had moved to a few years earlier. She was 13 and Ben a year older, though the two decided they could make music together. Amy describes their initial endeavours as “more like an electronic duo, like Massive Attack” than an actual band, though some of their early songs would end up on Fallen, including Imaginary, Whisper and My Immortal.

The nascent Evanescence didn’t play a gig for nearly six years, partly because of their youth, and partly because they wanted to concentrate on honing the songs they were writing. “The live part for me at that time just wasn’t my focus,” she shrugs. “I wanted to make stuff.”

Their first release was a self-titled debut EP that came out in 1998 via local label Bigwig, followed by another EP, Sound Asleep, the following year (both featured songs that appeared on Fallen). They’d played a few a low-key acoustic shows in their early days, but their first proper, plugged-in show was at a bar named Vinos in Little Rock on January 2, 1999, less than a month after Amy turned 17.

“It was difficult to be on stage at first,” she says. “I had to really work at being a good performer. I remember the first time we played a gig and four people knew the chorus to one of our dumb little songs,” she adds, self-effacingly trailing off.

It was an early version of My Immortal that caught the attention of Diana Meltzer, head of A&R at Wind-up Records, in 2001. Amy had just enrolled in college to study music theory composition when she got the message that Wind-up were interested in Evanescence - essentially herself and Ben.

“I still wanted to make music, but I was going to study so that maybe one day I could work on film scores as a backup plan,” she says. “We got signed three months in. I had one semester of school. I literally went from graduating high school to moving to LA and making our album in a year and a half.”

Producer Dave Fortman can remember the first time he heard Amy Lee sing Bring Me To Life in the studio. The guitarist in 1990s rockers Ugly Kid Joe pivoted to production after the 1997 break-up of that band, working with the likes of Superjoint Ritual and Crowbar before signing on to produce the debut album by an unknown band from Arkansas called Evanescence. After listening to their demo, he jumped at the chance to work with them. And then came the moment when Amy began singing in the studio.

“Amy was in the booth and this voice just came out,” Dave tells Hammer. “My engineer, who has worked with some of the biggest names in music bar none, turned to me with his jaw on the floor and said, 'Goddamn! This girl can sing.’ You just forgot where you were, you weren’t working anymore, you were just in awe of her. They were the most talented people in their age I’d ever been in contact with.”

The Evanescence that recorded Fallen was Amy and Ben, plus keyboard player/string arranger/co-songwriter David Hodges (who joined the band in 1999) and an array of session musicians, including future Guns N’ Roses/Foo Fighters drummer Josh Freese. Dave Fortman estimates the album cost around $250,000 to make – a sizeable sum now, but relatively modest at a time when seven-figure budgets weren’t uncommon (Korn’s 2002 album Untouchables reportedly cost $4 million). Some of that budget went on the real-life orchestra that Amy insisted on using for many of the songs – a bold move for a new band, when an electronic recreation would have been cheaper.

“None of us were ever going to back down on that,” says Dave Fortman. “It had to be that way or it wasn’t going to work. We recorded the orchestra in Seattle where they have no union, so it was cheaper. If we’d have known it was going to smash in the way it did, hell yeah, we would have just recorded them in LA!”

Evanescence didn’t get everything their way. Bring Me To Life, which addressed Amy’s feelings of numbness while in an abusive relationship,  was augmented by the inclusion of rapper Paul McCoy in an attempt to appeal to the nu metal market - a decision that went  against the band’s wishes. “I was so scared in the beginning that we were going forward with something  that wasn’t a perfectly honest picture of who we were,” Amy told Metal Hammer earlier this year. “But it didn’t last long. After a few songs, the mainstream was able to hear more than the one song and it was like, ‘OK, they at least sort of get what we are.’”

Advance expectations for Fallen were modest when it was released on March 4, 2003. “If it had gone gold [500,000 copies], we’d have A all been delighted with that,” says Dave Fortman. As it turned out, the album smashed it, selling more than 140,000 copies in its first week of release alone and reaching No.7 in the US Billboard charts. Bring Me To Life was a huge factor in that success. Like My Immortal, the song made its first appearance on the big- budget, Ben Affleck-starring Daredevil movie, which hit cinemas a few months before Fallen came out. 

When it was released as a single in its own right, accompanied by an expensive-looking urban-gothic video that saw a nightdress- clad Amy somnambulantly climbing the side of a tower block, like a cross between a character from an Anne Rice novel and a comic book superhero, Wind-up reps had to beg radio stations to play it (“A chick with piano on a rock station?” was a common response). Those that did air it soon found their phone lines jammed with people who wanted to know what it was that they’d just heard. It entered the US Top 10 and did even better in the UK, where it reached No.1.

Bring Me To Life and subsequent singles Going Under and My Immortal put wind in Fallen’s sails. Those 140,000 sales shot upwards at a vertiginous rate: within a month, it had sold more than a million copies in the US alone. By the middle of 2004, it had reached seven million (in 2022, Fallen was awarded a diamond certificate for US sales of more than 10 million). The speed of the ascent left Amy Lee dazed. “There was just so much going on,” she says, exhaling. “I don’t know if I got to focus on it that hard at the time.” 

The label wanted to get Evanescence out on the road to capitalise on that initial success. A touring band was assembled around Amy and Ben – guitarist John LeCompt, drummer Rocky Gray and bassist Will Boyd were recruited to back them. Their rise as a live band was equally dizzying. The day Fallen was released, Evanescence headlined the 200-capacity Engine Room in Houston, Texas. Three months later, they made their first UK appearance playing the Main Stage at the inaugural Download festival, sandwiched between Stone Sour and Mudvayne. Two weeks after that, they returned to the UK to headline a sold-out show at London’s prestigious Astoria.

Inevitably, given the scale and velocity of Evanescence’s success, it didn’t take long for the backlash to kick in. Amy was the focus of much of the criticism, with the barbs ranging from the petty (one magazine questioned her goth credentials) to the outright misogynistic (she was painted as a diva with absolutely nothing to back it up other than the fact she was a woman). Evanescence themselves were perceived by some of their detractors as nothing more than a cynical marketing experiment; the phrase “Linkin Park with a girl singer” appeared a depressing number of times back then, which diminished the decade or so Amy and Ben had invested in their band and music.

“I felt a lot like people wanted to see me fail, especially in the beginning,” Amy says. “I think it’s partially that they want to see if you’re the real thing, and when you shoot up so fast and you have a lot of success really quickly, I think there’s a little bit of a human nature thing that wants to poke a hole in that. I felt on the defence, I felt misunderstood – I’ve got a badass, bitchy look on my face on the album cover, so obviously I must be some kind of bitch.”

Amy was just 21 when Fallen was released, and the criticism took a toll on her. “It was hard as a young person to feel misunderstood,” she reflects today. Things became even more complicated when Ben left acrimoniously in October 2003, just six months after the release of Fallen, with creative differences cited at the time as the reason for the split (in 2010, he admitted to trying to force the singer out of the band they had founded together).

“I felt frustrated,” says Amy. “I wanted to hide a bit in that initial aftermath. People always wanted to attach me to drama, like Ben leaving the band. All of that was trying to be made to make me look bad, like it’s my fault or, ‘Well now it’s going to suck because she didn’t actually do any of the work, obviously all the men behind her did all the writing and the creation.’ It just made me angry a lot.”

The criticism and fractured personal relationships may have been difficult to deal with, but the impact Evanescence had was undeniable. Fallen landed at a transitional time for metal. By 2003, nu metal was on a downward trajectory creatively and commercially, with scene heavyweights Korn and Limp Bizkit both releasing dud albums in the shape of Take A Look In The Mirror and Results May Vary respectively. The New Wave Of American Heavy Metal was bubbling up, but it didn’t possess the same kind of mainstream crossover potential.

Fallen was different. Nu metal may have been in its DNA, but so was goth and electronic music. It was heavy enough for metal fans but it was also dramatic and heartfelt enough to draw in the emo crowd and pop fans alike. The soaring piano ballad My Immortal, with its narrative of a grieving relative haunted by the spirit of the family member they’re mourning, and Going Under, another song detailing the feelings of hopelessness that come from suffering in an abusive relationship, were unquestionably dark, but Evanescence wrapped them up in ear-worm hooks and gothic allure, while Amy’s presence imbued them with a distinctly feminine spirit that was a world away from nu metal’s over-testosteroned aggro.

The broad-church appeal of Fallen was reflected in the range of musicians who garlanded it with praise. Over the years, it’s been cited as an inspiration by everyone from Lzzy Hale and The Pretty Reckless’s Taylor Momsen to pop star Kelly Clarkson. Björk praised Evanescence and so, more surprisingly, did Lemmy, a man not known for his love of goth-tinged ballads.

“They’re fucking excellent,” said the late Motörhead frontman when asked for his view of the band. Even more significant – and noticeable – was the devotion Evanescence, and Amy in particular, almost instantly inspired among fans, especially female ones. The look she sported in music videos, magazine photo shoots and TV interviews – goth-style corsets, black and red eye make-up - was taken up by countless rock club kids up and down the country.

But arguably the most lasting impact Fallen has had is musical. It marked a changing of the guard: not just the end of nu metal, but the beginning of the rise of symphonic metal. Bands such as Nightwish and Within Temptation released albums before Fallen, making sizable waves in mainland Europe, but Evanescence put a distinctly American spin on it, turbocharging symphonic metal’s rise on the back of Fallen’s success. Even now, Amy’s too modest to acknowledge the influence that Fallen had.

“People are always asking me that question: ‘What is it about that album that resonated with people so much?’” she says. “I don’t know. Some of it’s just out of your control. At that age and that time in my life, I don’t think I would have given myself that credit.”

Dave Fortman is far more forthright on the subject. “Did I notice it?!” he says. “How could you not?! That’s what happens when you become, not just a big band, but an icon. She truly changed things. All those symphonic bands that came in their wake? They’re all Amy’s children.”

Fallen helped turn Evanescence into one of the biggest bands of the 21st century. They beat superstar rapper 50 Cent to the award for Best New Artist at the 2004 Grammy Awards (Bring Me To Life also took the trophy for Best Hard Rock Performance). To date, the record has sold more than 17 million copies worldwide – only Adele, Eminem, Norah Jones, Lady Gaga and Linkin Park released albums that have sold more during that time.

Dave calls Fallen “a life- changing album”. He explains: “It’s more than sales – it inspired an entire generation of young girls to know they had a place in heavy music. To show they didn’t have to ever compromise.” It’s a sentiment Amy shares as she looks back at the shy 21-year-old of 2003.

“It was crazy, it was awesome,” she says. “But there was a lot for me that was going on personally, turmoil and relationships within our band. It was just this wild time where so many things that felt huge were happening at the same time. Did it change the musical landscape? I don’t know. But it inspired somebody for something good, it made them walk back from the edge, feel their self-worth in some way. I think it’s truly a gift and a blessing in my life.”

Originally printed in Metal Hammer #381

#amy lee #evanescence #fallen #2023 interviews

[mads-weasley]

Timeless

Lewis Nixon x Reader

Masterlist

A/N: can i just say, SPEAK NOW TV IS AMAZING!!! literally my childhood. after hearing "timeless" and instantly falling in love with it, i got the sudden inspiration to write! hbo owns the rights, and this is about the fictional portrayal of easy company on the show. nothing but love and respect for veterans on this blog! Enjoy!

Summary: The Nixons look back on their life as they're preparing to move.

Warnings: major fluff

Nixon, New Jersey: 1985

"Mom, why couldn't I have stayed at home? I don't want to go through Gran and Gramp's junk!"

Mary took a deep breath and restrained from exploding on her 14-year-old daughter. "They've lived in this house for almost 40 years, Kimberly, so naturally we need a ton of help getting them moved out."

Rolling her eyes, she sat on the floor with a huff, grabbing the nearest box. She opened it and discovered it was filled to the brim with photographs. Most were black and white, but the ones near the top were vibrant with color. Those dated back to around 71' when Kim was born. Smiling to herself, she sorted through her own pictures first before moving on to the older, monochrome photos.

The first one she pulled out was of her parents, dressed to the nines at a school dance. Mary was wearing a beautiful aqua dress with her hair pulled back into a teased bun. Kim chuckled at the giant beehives girls used to style their hair in.

"Don't even, Kim," her mother smirked, going through a box of her own. "Hair like that was all the rage in the 60s."

The teenager flipped the photo over. "What year was this?"

Scooting over to her daughter, Mary fondly looked at the picture. "I think it was our senior prom, so 1967, I think. Your father proposed to me a few months after that."

Soon, the duo went through the rest of the box but stopped when they saw a bundle of paper and photos at the bottom of it.

"What's this?" Kim whispered, picking up the stack and inspecting it. "Are these letters?"

Before she could open one up, two battered photos slid out of the bundle, falling onto the hardwood floor. As Kim picked them up, she froze.

"Is this Gram and Gramps?" Gaped Kim.

Nodding slowly, her mother took the photos from her, looking over them herself. "I've never even seen these before."

The black-and-white pictures depicted a couple kissing goodbye during the war and the same couple laughing as they ran out of a church on their wedding day, rice flying through the air.

Each had a date and description on the back.

Our wedding day - July 10, 1940

Lew leaving for basic training - 1942

Before either could comment, another voice filled the room.

"I see you've found our photo albums. Lew! They're in here!"

(Y/n) Nixon walked in and sat on a nearby couch, gesturing for the bundle. A few seconds later, her husband of 43 years strolled into the room, his signature smirk on his face. "I told you we put them in this closet, honey."

"Lewis Nixon, you liar," (y/n) laughed. "Not five minutes ago, you were saying that you put them in the garage!"

Throwing his hands up in surrender, he ruffled his granddaughter's hair before sitting next to his wife on the couch. "Are you gonna let her talk to me like that, squirt?"

Kim cackled, enjoying their banter. "Most of the time, you deserve it, Gramps."

Lew looked at his daughter with raised eyebrows. "She sure is your daughter, alright."

"And your granddaughter," quipped (y/n).

Looking down at the box in his wife's arms, Lewis smiled to himself as he reached for the picture of them on their wedding day. "I remember this like it was yesterday."

"Me too. There's no way it was forty-some years ago."

Kissing (y/n)'s temple, he pulled her close to him. "If it's any consolation, you still look as beautiful as the day I first saw you."

Getting up from the floor, Kim moved and sat next to the couple. "How did you two meet again? I know you've told me, but I forgot."

Lew placed an arm around her and took a deep breath. "Well, Grams and I met in a diner when she got blinded by my beauty and spilled water all over me."

"Lewis," (y/n) scoffed, hitting his chest playfully.

He smirked. "Alright, alright. She tripped and fell for me."

"Here we go again," Mary joked as she prepared for the story she'd heard a million times but never tired of...

Nixon, New Jersey: 1938

It was a hot and sunny Saturday in August when 19-year-old Lewis Nixon and his best friend, Bobby Monroe, escaped the latest highfaluting party held at the Nixon residence. Even though the depression still gripped the country, affluent families like the Nixons and the Monroes didn't have to worry about money like everybody else.

"You hungry?" Lew asked, already anticipating his friend's answer.

Bobby rolled his eyes. "Always. I'll do anything to get away from these stupid things."

"I know how you feel. It's always, 'Lewis, this is Mr. Johnson. And this is his snobby daughter, Alice, or whatever that one's name is."

Hopping into Lewis' brand new Lincoln Zephyr, they set out for the nearby town of Edison, New Jersey.

As they drove, Bobby looked around them, contemplating his food options. "Where do you want to go, Lew?"

"I heard there is a new place up the street called Morgan's Cafe. Wanna try it?"

"As long as they've got edible food, I'm in," Bobby chuckled, clutching his growling stomach. "I'm starving!"

"Good thing it's right here, then.”

After parking, the boys entered the diner with a ding and sat down at a window booth.

“Welcome to Morgan’s! We’ll be with you in a moment,” a soft voice called from the back of the diner.

Minutes later, while the boys were deep in conversation, the kitchen doors opened, and what Lew saw stole the words from his mouth. His gaze was stuck on the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. The boy couldn't help but feel captivated by the girl's dazzling smile, stunning (y/h/c) hair, and cute pink diner uniform, which left him speechless.

Noticing his friend's expression, Bobby looked over his shoulder to see what the big fuss was. He immediately understood as the girl rounded the table, handing them menus with a smile.

"Hi, my name is (y/n), and I'm going to be your server today. What can I get you two fellas to start out?"

Both of the teenagers mind's were thinking one thing:

'What a dame!'

Bobby broke the awkward silence, clearing his throat. "Could I have an RC Cola, please?"

"Sure thing," she nodded, turning to Nixon, who still couldn't form a coherent thought. "What would you like to drink?"

Words? What were words? What were thoughts? All Lewis knew was that the girl, no, young woman, in front of him was stunning. He looked like a deer in headlights as she spoke to him. Luckily, Bobby kicked his friend's leg under the table, breaking him from his trance.

"I'll have a water, please."

"Alrighty," she chirped. "I'll be right back with those."

The boys' eyes followed her until she disappeared behind the kitchen doors. At the same time, they turned toward each other with wide eyes.

"Wow. I've never seen a girl leave you speechless, Lew."

Chuckling, he ran his hand through his hair. "I know. And that's saying something."

In the few minutes she was in the kitchen, Lewis racked his brain for things to say to her. He didn't want to sound like a jerk but wanted to make an impression. Most of the time he met girls, he was introduced by his mother or father at their dinner parties, so he didn't fully know how to act in his current situation.

As (y/n) emerged from the kitchen and strolled over, his heart pounded as he tried to maintain his composure. Unbeknownst to her, a small wrinkle in the floor mat lay in wait for an unsuspecting victim. As fate would have it, amid her stride, her foot caught on the edge and caused her to stumble forward. Time seemed to slow down as she desperately tried to stop the drinks from flying towards the boys.

Lewis, caught off guard by the unexpected turn of events, could only watch in disbelief as the impending disaster unfolded. His half-confident demeanor vanished, replaced by an expression of mild shock and bemusement.

Within seconds, the glass of water made contact with Lew's finely tailored suit, showering him with a cascade of cool, refreshing water. Droplets splashed against his lapel, forming a constellation of wet spots across the fabric, while rivulets trickled down, leaving a damp trail on his pants

As the initial surprise washed over him, the teenager's face transformed into a mixture of surprise and amusement. His lips curled into a half-smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling with genuine humor. Instead of frustration, a sense of amusement colored his reaction. A completely dry Bobby busted out laughing the same time Lew did, knowing the boy could care less about his freshly dry-cleaned suit.

(Y/n)'s cheeks flushed with embarrassment as she rushed to his side, her hands instinctively reaching for napkins to remedy the situation.

Her voice tinged with apologies, "Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to trip, and then the water... It was an accident, I swear!"

Lewis's face reddened at her touch as he extended a hand to stop her frantic efforts. His smile remained intact, radiating warmth and understanding with a touch of nervousness.

"Don't worry about it. Accidents happen-"

She stepped back slightly, looking at his suit worriedly as she interrupted him. "I'll pay for it to be cleaned. I-I'm so sorry. "

A genius plan came to his mind, and his smile formed into a little smirk. "I know how you can make it up to me."

His swagger was back.

"How?" She asked, hand rubbing her face in embarrassment. "I'll do just about anything."

"Go on a date with me?" He shrugged.

Her embarrassed expression changed into a grin at his question. "I think that can be arranged...." She prompted, unsure of his name.

"Lewis. Lewis Nixon," he stuck out his hand, winking when she took it gently. "When can I pick you up?"

As the pair locked eyes, it felt like they were the only ones in the diner. Electricity ran through them, warming their bodies on the already hot day. Lew noticed a slight blush creeping up her neck and thought it was adorable.

"I get off at 5," she whispered, writing her name and number on a nearby napkin. "Pick me up here?"

He stood and motioned for Bobby to get up. "Sounds like a plan, sweetheart."

Bobby pulled a few dollars out of his wallet and attempted to hand it to the girl. "Here, this is for the drinks."

Keeping her eyes on Lew's soft browns, she shook her head. "Don't worry about it. It's on the house."

In a moment of courage, he leaned down and kissed her on the cheek as he walked toward the door. "See you at 5, (y/n)."

"See you then, Lewis."

The rest was history.

Nixon, New Jersey: 1985

Kimberly's jaw was on the floor at the end of their story. "So you're telling me you basically fell for Gramps the day you met?"

With a chuckle, (y/n) glanced over at her husband who wore a proud grin. "I guess I did, Kim."

"And two years later, we got married," Lewis stated. "But I knew after our second date I was going to marry her."

Kim, already becoming a lovesick pre-teen, was in awe at their story and had to know more. "What happened when the war started?"

At the mention of the war, Lewis' eyes went to the ground. Even after forty years, the horrid images still flashed in his mind. Luckily, (y/n) answered with a tense smile.

"Your Gramps left in the spring of 1942 after Pearl Harbor was attacked. We'd only been married for two years when he left, and saying goodbye was one of the hardest things I've ever done."

New Brunswick Train Station, New Jersey: May 1942

(Y/n) had tried to prepare herself for her husband's departure since he'd volunteered, but when the time came, all preparation went out the window. The reality of where he was going was everpresent in her mind as they walked hand and hand towards the train platform.

She looked up at a wall clock hung beside them: 12:20. They had ten minutes before he'd have to leave. (Y/n)'s heart was aching at the thought of being without the love of her life for an unknown period of time. She refused to even entertain the idea that he might not come back.

Reaching the correct platform, the couple stopped and turned to face one another. (Y/n) had tears in her eyes as she studied his face, committing every detail to memory. The weight of their imminent separation hung heavily in the air.

(Y/n)'s voice trembled as she spoke, her eyes filled with both love and fear. "Lew, promise me you'll come back. Promise me you'll stay safe."

She threw her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder as she added, "I know you can't promise, but I just need to hear you say it. Please."

"I'll come back to you," he whispered into her hair, trying to memorize what it felt like to hold her in his arms. "I promise."

Pulling away, what was left of (y/n)'s resolve cracked at a stray tear that leaked down her husband's face. She broke into sobs, and Lewis had to hold in his own as he pulled her back into his embrace.

"I don't know what I'm going to do without you, Lew. I don't think I can do this."

He leaned back and gently wiped her tears off of her shining cheeks before cupping them softly. "You can, (y/n). You're the strongest person I know. We can do this, sweetheart."

The train whistle blew loudly, announcing that boarding had started, and (y/n)'s heart dropped to her stomach. The clock read 12:37. How could she say goodbye to her whole world in 3 minutes?

(Y/n) held onto him tightly, burying her face in his shoulder. "Oh, Lew, I love you more than words can say. I'll be here waiting for you, praying for your safe return every day."

He kissed her forehead, his touch gentle and tender. "I love you too, (y/n), more than life itself. I'll write to you as much as I can, and be waiting for yours. We'll make it through this together."

As the distant sound of a train whistle pierced the air again, she looked up at Lewis, her voice trembling. "Kiss me."

Their final kiss was a bittersweet embrace, filled with an amalgamation of longing, love, and unspoken words. (Y/n)'s delicate fingers brushed against Lewis' cheek as he cupped her face gently, his touch warm and comforting. Their lips met, and time seemed to stand still, capturing the intensity of their affection.

(Y/n) could taste the slight saltiness of her own tears mingling with the sweetness of his lips. She memorized the sensation—the gentle pressure, the soft warmth—as if etching it into her very being. It was a kiss that conveyed a deep yearning, a longing to hold onto this moment forever. But just as their embrace deepened, the piercing sound of a train whistle shattered the tranquility of the station.

They reluctantly broke apart, breaths mingling in the air as their gazes locked on each other. Time stood suspended between them, as if holding its breath, reluctant to let go of their connection.

With a teary smile, he picked up his bags and backed away toward the train car. "I love you," he called over his shoulder. "See you soon., sweetheart."

As the train's doors started to close, reality pressed upon them. They stood there, eyes locked until the very last second, etching the image of each other's faces in their hearts.

And as the train pulled away, taking her husband further from her, (y/n) Nixon stood alone on the platform. She touched her lips, still tingling from their final kiss, a mixture of love and sorrow overwhelming her. She whispered, as if he could hear her across the distance, "Come back to me, Lew. Please, come back."

Nixon, New Jersey: 1985

"Over the 12-hundred-some days that we were separated, a week didn't go by that I didn't write Lew. He wrote when he could, and it always made my heart skip a beat when I'd get a letter from him."

(Y/n) reached into the box and grabbed the large stack of letters. "I still can't believe you kept these after all this time."

Lewis' gaze turned from the ground to his wife with misty eyes. "I could never get rid of them. Your letters were what got me through."

Growing up, anytime Lew spoke about the war, it was only to tell a story about his friends Dick, Harry, and Ron. Even some of those times, he got a far-off look that Mary could recognize. (Y/n) quickly shot her daughter a look, and Mary gently took Kim by the arm.

"Come on, Kimmy. Let's go sort through my old stuff."

Getting up, the 12-year-old wore a confused look. "But we're not done looking thro-"

Mary raised her eyebrows at the pre-teen, ushering her out the door. "Come on."

Once they were out of the room, he gently took the bundle from (y/n) and removed the rubber band holding them all together. Lew randomly grabbed one from his lap and started reading it.

"This one's from January 7th of 45'."

"My Dear Husband,

I hope things are going better than what we've been hearing at home. The fighting in Belgium sounds horrifying. All I can do is pray that you're not there, Lew. I know you haven't been able to write, and deep down, I know you're there. If my gut is right, be careful, darling. I need you to come back to me after all this ends.

On a higher note, I finally caved and got a dog! You'd love her, Lew! She's the most adorable cocker spaniel named Ruby. I've had her for a few weeks and have fallen in love with her cute personality. People who say dogs don't have personalities are stupid. She does this thing where she'll come sit next to me on the couch and listen to me rant about my day. And on the nights when I'm struggling, she'll snuggle next to me and lay her head on my chest. It's like she's trying to tell me everything is gonna be okay.

Even with her here with me, I still miss you more than anything. I feel like a piece of me is missing without you here beside me. Everything feels wrong without you here. Christmas was really hard. Who am I to talk about my life being hard? You're goodness know's where fighting in a war. All this goes to say that I love you so much, and I can't wait to hold you in my arms again. Stay safe and come back to me.

All my love,

(Y/n)"

Lew took a deep breath and took her hand."I know I don’t talk about it much, but the war… It was hell. December of 44’. We didn’t have winter clothes or supplies, and the men- the casualties were terrible. There weren’t many Toccoa men left afterward.”

(Y/n) squeezed his hand gently. “I remember being so worried about you”

“When things got really bad, I would read your past letters. They were the only warmth in that frigid forest.”

“I did the same thing here. When I missed you more than normal, I would read the letter you sent me for my 25th birthday. It’s in here somewhere,” she whispered, searching through the box. (Y/n) knew Lewis didn’t like to go on about the war, so over their marriage, she just listened and didn’t ask any questions, no matter how badly she wanted to. Early on, she decided to let him share when he wanted to. Once she found it, she started to read it aloud.

“Dear Birthday Girl,

Happy 25th birthday, sweetheart! As I write this in my muddy foxhole, know that my heart overflows with my deepest affection and longing for you. I find myself cherishing the memories we’ve shared and dreaming of the moments we’ll create together when this war is but a distant memory.

Your presence in my life has been nothing but a gift, and every day, I’m so grateful that we found each other. Your smile, laughter, and the way you light up a room with your presence captured me from the very start. Your kindness, compassion, and unwavering support have been my strength in the months since we parted. 

In the midst of the chaos around me, your beautiful face is etched in my mind, and the thought of your warm embrace gets me through the hardest times. It’s the memory of your tender touch that keeps me going.

On this special day, I want to shower you with love and blessings, even from afar. You deserve all the happiness this world can offer, and I promise that once this war is over, we’ll celebrate your birthday in a way that makes up for all the times we’ve been apart. I hate that I’ve missed 23, 24, and 25, but know that I will make up for it every day for the rest of our lives. I love you more than words can say. Happy birthday, (y/n). I hope you have the best day.

With all my love,

Lewis”

A fond smile formed on her face as she turned to him. “I think I read that every single holiday, and when I hadn’t gotten anything from you in a while.”

“I had one of those, too,” he smirked. “Mine involved a few pictures and a-”

(Y/n) smacked his arm with a mock gasp. “Lewis Nixon! Our daughter and granddaughter are in the next room over!”

“Ehh,” he shrugged. “It never stopped us before.”

“I don’t know if you haven’t noticed, Lew, but we’re not in our 20s anymore, hun.”

With a chuckle, Lewis started sorting through their box of pictures once again. There were ones from Mary’s childhood all the way up to when Kim was born. One in particular, caught his eye. Mary was around 4 in the picture, and it showed the three of them in front of the Golden Gate Bridge on one of their trips to visit Lew’s mom and sister in San Fransisco.

“Remember this?” He asked as he held it up.

(Y/n) raised her eyebrows and laughed under her breath. “I remember I got the worst sunburn of my life that trip.”

Laughter filled the air of the small room as the couple continued to sort through their beloved possessions.

Two Weeks Later

They were gathered outside their house with Mary, her husband, and Kim, looking at the past 40 years of their lives. All the memories flashed in their minds, and the couple willed away tears. 

“We’ve had a great life, haven’t we?”

Tucking into her husband’s side, (y/n) laid her head on his shoulder. “Yeah, we have. You know, I’ve been thinking. I think even in a different life, you still would’ve been mine, Lew.”

“Me, too, Sweetheart,” he whispered, kissing her temple. “We really were timeless."

Tag List: @softguarnere @mrsgeorgeluz @cetaitlaverite @flowers-and-fichte @inglourious-imagines

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#mads' fandoms #band of brothers #band of brothers x reader #lewis nixon imagines #lewis nixon imagine #lewis nixon angst #lewis nixon x reader #lewis nixon #ron livingston #band of brothers masterlist #band of brothers imagine #band of brothers x y/n #lewis nixon x wife!reader #lewis nixon x reader angst #lewis nixon x reader fluff #band of brothers angst #band of brothers fluff #hurt/comfort #fluff #angst

[3terna15unshin3]

Then Because She Goes

Instagram AU (volume i)

back to masterlist — volume ii — volume iii

a/n: I really wanted to add more visuals to the TBSG universe so here is a the first part of my Instagram AU!!! This volume is full of 'posts' that would've occurred during the span of the fic, future volumes will include ones from the time jump before the epilogue and maybe even after that too :)) lmk what u think! AND try to spot all of the tiny references to the fic i added 😝😝 love u

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este.manansala 50 years🌟

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este.manansala Turned 28 last week, still been told off by my mum bout the piercing

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trumanblack Yes I did say another album will be out this year, yes we're working on it, yes I regret telling you lot when it would be out bc it will probably take much longer than that

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este.manansala Nice hair

↳ trumanblack Thx can i have ur number

1975adam We’re trying I swear

thankujodiverycool how much longer are we talking..

2 September, 2019

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6 February, 2020

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este.manansala lolo is 76 !

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rass1975 Happy birthday lolo

trumanblack Legend

g3orgiaheadley HBD Lolo (i NEEEED this food omg)

↳ trumanblack It was the dream tbh u should’ve been there

_catekeeling 76 has never looked better

3 April, 2020

#tbsg #matty healy #the 1975 #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy x oc #the 1975 fanfiction #matty healy fic #matty healy instagram au #instagram au

[ourpickwickclub]

I wonder if people realize that it took ND in the early days almost 10 years to get this big. Gwen is a wonderful singer and performer. But even with her in the band, it took a lot of years for their breakthrough!!! And then people think that the guys in DC would get as high with a good singer and them being in their 40’s. No matter if Gwen performs solo and a lot less during the year, she already had her name, she was the frontwoman and totally in the picture. The guys are equally as wonderful, but they form the band, not the vocals and that will always be more difficult to start up something new. Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac went solo and if she did, Mick Fleetwood, John McVie and Lindsey Buckingham would do other projects, but never together. Lindsey even did go solo and he is an awesome guitar player, but even he wasn’t able to get as much succes. Lou Gramm (he was the singer) of Foreigner went solo and he had succes. Mick Jones needed another singer and it took years to find Kelly Hansen (after Lou Gramm left for a second and definitive time). But Mick was the owner of the band and was able to keep the name Foreigner. They made one new album, the rest were best of’s and the touring was all about the old songs that Mick wrote together with Lou Gramm. That is why they kept having success. Most bands who fall apart is mostly because of some drama that goes on, but when the singer leaves, it really leaves the rest of the band in loose ends. It would be the same when John Bon Jovi would leave Bon Bovi. Would you really see the rest of this band getting on a new project with a new singer and having success? It was already difficult that Richie Sambora (lead guitar)left, but if John would leave, that would be the end for all the rest of them.

Love all this music trivia. As someone who had the Buckingham Nicks poster on my wall for years even though they weren’t my generation of music, I have to give Lindsey props for Trouble. And of course the equally brilliant and annoying Holiday Road. But points taken.

And Davey Havok is an incredible singer. Really good! It’s just that so few people have the lyrical genius, the iconic looks, the charisma, and the stage skills of Gwen. Mick Jagger does. Sting. Stevie is close but can’t work a stage like Gwen. I saw her a couple months ago and she is still amazing tho! Linda Perry. Rod Stewart. Don Henley. All check so many boxes but Gwen is so elite among them for what she can do. She just chose family over more fame.

Sometimes I think Gwen had more fun when ND was bubbling under and had small time fame. But she was always destined to be a star and this road led her to Blake.

- B

[amandapalmer]

THE DRESDEN DOLLS ARE TOURING AGAIN!

THE ONLY WAY TO GET THE TICKET LINK FOR THESE SHOWS WILL BE TO JOIN THE BAND'S EMAIL LIST:

HERE IS THE LINK, PLEASE SIGN UP. Just put in your email, it takes seconds, and we promise not to spam you.

....

It’s been a long, long time since I posted to Tumblr, but I have a decent reason to come over: my band - The Dresden Dolls - is finally touring again. Yeeeeee!!!! Brian (the other Doll) and I are slowly but surely working on a new record (it’ll be our first studio album in, gulp, about 20 years), and we are plotting a huge global touring show in a few years. We are getting ready...slowly, and we want to start where we like it: in sweaty, intimate tiny little clubs. So we are gonna do four runs of TEENY TINY CLUB SHOWS over four weekends in the USA this May/June. New songs, old songs, experiments, covers, joy, catharsis. Loud. Quiet. FEELINGS. 

We did this in Woodstock, NY in August this past summer (at a 400-capacity club called The Colony) and it was ... incredible. Just magic and sweaty and beautiful and intense and everything we love about playing live. First up is DENVER, CO, at Ophelia’s Electric Soapbox, which fits about 400 souls.

We will be announcing the three next cities in the next week or so, here on socials and on the band website. 

We will be sending the ticket link and password to our email list community about 48 hours before the ticket sale goes live. All four cities will go on sale on the same day. (And warning: our last few shows sold out in a matter of **hours**).We will send an email to the Dolls' email list with ALL ticket links and Passwords at around 5pm, Friday March 10. THEN....GET READY. Those links will go live, and tickets for ALL SHOWS will go on sale with those email list passwords on Monday, March 13th @ 10am LOCAL TIME. NOTE: the venues might be posting the LINK to the tickets, but it will be inaccessible without the PASSWORD which will be in the Mailer. Again, you gotta be on the band email list to get the ticket link. The PUBLIC ONSALE, if there are any tickets left (which is doubtful) will be Friday, March 17 @ 10am (local time for each city). ABOUT THE POSTER: South African artist Niki McQueen made a unique poster for all four cities, and we'll be making limited edition prints of all the art and selling it at the shows and online. And....if you wanna have fun, see if you can guess where we are gonna play next. We promise you: these cities & venues are WEIRD. Denver is like, the most normal of them all....try us.LONG LIVE THE PUNK CABARET, dear ones. We love you all...hope to see you out there.

#the dresden dolls #Punk Cabaret #amanda palmer #brian viglione #Niki McQueen

[mykatzone]

Answering asks #4

I have been... procrastinating over answering asks in my inbox... just a bit 🥺

I'm really grateful for everyone's patience so I'm finally sitting down to answer all the asks I got! Again tysm ;w;

• Finny art request + Timelapse and brief overview of my art process

My deepest apologies anon! Not only did you send this ask back in July, but I additionally promised you a reply back in August- and it's October now! 😭 I am so sorry for my lateness and am so grateful for your patience!

In any case, you asked for a Finny drawing so I offer a Finny drawing! As well as a timelapse of my art process and brief overview of how I do things since you were interested!!!

I wasn't sure what style you wanted me to draw him in (I have so many styles RIP) so I picked the most difficult one I (sometimes) use! Aka my painterly style!

As for how I draw like this uhh, it's a lot of messing around trying to find the right colors basically!

Also focusing on quick brush strokes that communicate the shape of whatever surface I'm rendering!

I also love casting most of the upper part of the face in shadows. Does it make sense? No. Does it look good? Yes!!

As for my lineart, again- rly depends on the style I'm going for- but I tend to use a more sketchy style of lineart these days.

Like a superrr clean sketch. I think it looks nicer with my rendering style, bc the lines have that sketchy rough quality so it's easier to hide the imperfections bc I can hide under the "well it's supposed to look rough duhh" excuse LOL. Work smart not hard! I always say that.

I hope I'm making sense with my rambles. I've never been the best at explaining my art process bc I myself don't rly get what I'm doing usually. It just kinda comes as a reflex almost?? I've been drawing for so long I just kinda go with the flow at this point.

Anyhow hope it was worth the wait XD enjoy your Finny!!!

• Kuroshitsuji Musical idea suggestions

To refresh everyone's memory (bc I'm so late at answering asks), awhile back @shadowalkingschemer asked if I ever planned to make a Kuroshitsuji musical parody type songs/animations like I did for Umineko, to which I said "probs no bc an actual official Kuroshitsuji musical exists, but it sounds like a rly fun idea tho". ANYHOW- this was the followup ask I got from the same person! So let me finally answer!!!

Oki so I looked up this Beethoven's Last Night thing you mentioned and???? OMG??? It goes hard from the first few minutes I listened to. It's a rock opera I assume? And it's such a bop?? And yes this would be perfect for Kuroshitsuji, it matches that classical sophisticated vibe SO WELL with the general edge of the story (bc duh. it's a recreation of Beethoven's compositions but with epic rock music). God this is so good, thank you for the recommendation I will have to listen to the full album soon bc WOW.

• Nice person in my inbox :D

Thank you so much @eynnwwyjth !! That's such a sweet compliment too ;W; to call my art enchanting AAA ty!!! :>

• Animation advice

Thank you for checking out my YouTube @aeowolfestheater !! It's my primary social media, and I'm glad you fell down the rabbit hole of my many many uploads I posted over the years XD

To answer your question, I don't rly have the best personal advice when it comes to starting out as an animator rly! I kinda... fell into it? XD I started animating (well trying to animate in MS Paint), before I even turned 10, so I didn't really have that traditional learning curve? It was mostly a lot of trial and error, trying to figure out what works and what doesn't.

(If anyone wants to see how my old animations looked and how they improved over the years, I posted many "Animation Improvement" type videos that showcase my work over the years, so you get the idea of what I'm talking abt!)

Best advice I can give to any animator right now is probably the boring advice I personally never took (hence why it took so long for me to get where I am now). Learm the fundementals (the principles of animation, the ins and outs of the animation program you're using, general art skills are also a bonus depending of what you wanna animate). I think it's also important when you are first starting out to focus less on making your animations smooth and clean and more on learning how to capture movement itself (that's the point of animation after all!). Learn how things move depending on material, speed, physics etc. and how to communicate that in animation. I think just observing life helps a lot. References are your friend (video references are probs the best). Ofc clean and smooth animation is great as well, but that comes after you learn the basics I think. Stay on model the best you can while animating any shot (ofc unless you are doing squash and stretch or experimental animation). It makes it look less janky. Uhh I can't think of much else right now (bc again I never rly learned animation the normal way haha), so I will link my two animation tutorials here! They are abt Clip Studio Paint EX though, idk how helpful they are if you don't have that program :'0!

• Tumblr mutual reunion!

Omg hi @rissynicole and so sorry for the late reply!! As this post has shown so far I am extremely slow at replying to the asks I recieve in my inbox! Anyhow it is me! Katrinci! I got back on Tumblr in 2022 (has it already been over a year??)! Sadly someone else took my old username (an innactive empty blog too... I'm so mad), so I got a new username heyooo. I hope you've been well!! I'm doing better then I have in gosh, years I feel like XD. Mostly bc I'm finally out of school and finally focusing on stuff I wanna be doing (art career stuff and irl stuff!) But yeah I hope you've been well too!!! Feel free to reply or shoot me another ask if you feel like, I'll do my best to reply on time this time! (I'm so so sorry for being so late!!) Anyhow YIPPIE!

• Where to watch my silly Umineko Musical parody

It's here! I privated it on my main channel bc I thought it was too goofy/self-indulgent even for me (also it wasn't doing well and y'know how YouTube is with channels that underperform T_T), so I moved it to my secondary channel! It has both the song you are referencing and the other song I did! Enjoy :>

• What Croatian stereotype is Katzone?

Well every region in Croatia has its own stereotype, I'm from Dalmatia, and we are stereotyped as loud. So I def fit that one! And also I fit the "cura iz umjetničke" (girl from art school) stereotype quite well. I went to an art highschool and I'm gay, autistic, slightly mentally ill and look vaguely alt (literally I don't btw, but ppl see a buzzcut and it blows their minds, like "woah that's so alternative and quirky", not knowing I only have a buzzcut so I can't pull my hair smh (trichotillomania, look it up for more info)). Though I don't smoke weed so mby I am a bit subversive and not like other art girls.

• Kat sexuality confirmed??

Oki so what @xxparanoidvampirexx is referencing here is when I posted a poll asking my followers to guess my sexuality.

These were the results!

I have been democratically declared a lesbian by popular vote. This is probably true. Listen I'm like 95% certain I'm a lesbian but you never know. My autism makes it hard for me to figure out any sense of my identity bc I often mirror ppl around me (and most of my friends are lesbians or sapphic women in sapphic relationships), you get me? We can never know. My sexuality is currently a Schrodinger's cat situation I'm afraid.

ANYHOW, to answer LMAO- I mean fair assumption. I do mostly post about women on my blog (Saldy... I got back into Adventure Time recently and my blorbo there... is a *shivers* man. I saw someone on Twitter today as that fictional middle aged men are to lesbians what Taylor Swift is is to gay men. And like. Yeah.)

• Nice person in my inbox #2 + "What's your favorite Ciel outfit?"

First of thank you so much anon for the kind words!!! I'm rly happy to hear my art makes you gayer (the only correct compliment ever). Jokes aside, but fr this is super sweet :'D thank you!!!

To answer your question, I had to go skim through this video by @/nullbutler to refresh my memory on what outfits Ciel wears throughout the anime/manga/official art.

Here's the video if you wanna watch it!

Anyhow, my personal fave fits of his are extremely basic. While I do love Ouji fashion, I dislike seeing him in most of the oufits Yana puts him in. Like yes they look lovely, slay extremely hard and fit the visual aesthetic of Black Butler perfectly- but every time I see him in these frilly oufits I'm like "this is not reflective of his personality in any way, he would not wear this on his own, it's pure camp". Don't get me wrong- I love camp, and this anime/manga is as camp as you get. So while I love the more campy frilly oufits he wears aesthetically (and those are way prettier), I perfer when he's in stuff like this:

Like yes, these outfits are objectively less interesting and pretty- but I see stuff like this and I'm like yeah that's him. If Sebastian dropped dead and couldn't pick out his clothes anymore, this is what he would wear on his own accord methinks.

• STOP MAKING ME FEEL OLD 😭

Here's my live reaction of reading your ask @porfiriea :

What do you mean?? You were 6?? I doubt you watched my 2014 MS Paint animation era, I assume you found my channel during 2016-2017 at earliest (my Undertale and Yan Sim animation era). I refuse to believe you were born in the 2010s. Nuh-uh. No. Not happening. Fake news.

Jokes aside, but it's always cool to see ppl be like "oh I watched your stuff b4, I didn't know this Tumblr user was you!" It's a strange feeling!! Makes me feel like I did leave a mark on the animation side of YouTube. Feels nice! :'D but also old. And I'm only 20!! How will I feel when I'm 30 or 40?? Will I just turn to dust on the spot??

• Grelle's gender masterpost update

I'm so sorry anon, but I completely lost interest in this topic T_T! Plus even if I ended up making a masterpost, it wouldn't be fully accurate (or at least- I wouldn't be able to verify its authenticity completely), as I don't speak Japanese. So I would have to go off of Google translate and translations by English speaking fans who understand Japanese. And I don't wanna talk too much abt Japanese queer culture either. Even though I did a ton of research, I'm not Japanese and I never went to Japan! So I'd rather not risk spreading any potential misinfo. Sorry to let you down ;;!

• Another YouTube viewer spotted me in the wild!

Omg you spotted me!! In the wild!! That animation was crazyy, bc I made it rly fast and rly didn't expect it to do well. But I remember it did super well during the first day (got 100k views on the first day it was wild), and while I love that old video, I'm like. Rly? That one blew up?? Out of all my other ones?? I mean the idea was creative! But I feel I half assed it a little, I barely animated anything for it outside the headbop tweening and blinking animation XD. Mby I'm being too harsh on 14 year old Kat here. Nahh I'm not, I felt the same when I posted it innitially as well. But hey I still love that vid. Love the style I drew in at the time, I was still using a mouse for everything back then. Love the colors too! Mby I should remake it one of these days. Mby!!!

If anyone wants to watch the animation @gentle-starlight is refering to:

• Umineko time

@anawkwardlady This is the universal Umineko fandom experience I'm afraid. Being sad over Beato and wishing she was vibing (after you learn abt... the horrors...) XD

• ???

I'm so very concerned and do not know what this means or what this is refering to. I'm afraid O_O @hononyan what does this mean...

• What happened to my old Tumblr blog

It's completely ok to ask anon! In truth, I have this rly bad habit where I delete social media accounts when I'm having a bad mental health moment. It's always an impulsive decision I end up regretting. I deleted my old Tumblr in early 2021 I'm pretty sure, and I'm still so sad about it. I wish I didn't delete it. I had that blog since 2015 and now it's gone like poof. I can't get it back and I'm always emo abt it.

I might make like, an archive or something of my old art one day. I mean I still have most of it saved on my computer, but it would be nice to have all of it in one place publically again (it's always good to have stuff backed up somewhere)! Adding that to my to-do list XD

Oh and the worst part? I can't use my old username on Tumblr (Katrinci). Someone else took it. A BLANK EMPTY BLOG. I'm so mad. I'm soooooo mad give it back to meeee.

• THE END!

And with that I have answered all the asks I had in my inbox! Well, all the questions and stuff, I still have other stuff in my inbox like art requests but I'll get to that some other time if I feel like doing any of those! In any case, tysm for being patient everyone! Ik it took me very long to reply but I hope my responses were worth it! I wish all of you a nice day! My hand hurts from typing owie.

#📬 askbox #i talk abt sm stuff in this post holy cow. #it even has some art/animation advice bc some ppl asked for that so do read this post if it interests u! #oki DONE. #Youtube

[cocainegirlsnblunts]

Smoothies In 1991

Jack Harlow - Officially meeting Jack

Interviewer: So can you two tell us where you first met and what were your first impressions on each other.

you started cracking up thinking about that day.

10/27/21.

After 2019 you weren’t so much in the spotlight, only because you chose too. You liked to be as private as possible and your work already got the recognition it deserved. Plus you’ve already done a few interviews here and there.

You were struggling with a lot at the time and the only option you had was to take a break from your career. You stayed lowkey, stopped posting, and anytime you were in a picture or anything it was RARE.

But anyway, 2021 you started to plan your comeback and so your friend Cole posted you on your Birthday

@colebennett ✓⃝

liked by madisonbeer, chanteljeffries, mariahthescientist and 238,595 others

colebennett happy 22nd birthday twin

And Cole has worked with many people, including Jack Harlow. Who you didn’t even know really but Cole had the amazing idea to take him to the Birthday Party your lovely Best Friend, Kali Uchis was throwing you.

Your Birthday is in late October so you always have a Costume Party. This year it was a Jazz Club/Old Hollywood themed.

Many people that you’ve worked with or have a bond with came. Here are some of the people who attended.

As you’re talking with friends, Cole approaches you with some people you’ve never met and didn’t really recognize.

“Yo Arlette” he yells.

“Cole Hey!!” you say noticing there’s some people behind him.

“Look I just wanted to introduce you to my boys here, you might know some of em, this is Jack, Jack Harlow.”

the world stopped spinning when you looked into his eyes, and you damn near lost your breath when he reached for handshake.

“Happy Birthday.” he says

“nice to meet you☺️☺️” omfg. LIKE WHO IS THIS???!??? you were screaming on the inside, last person you were geeking over was Jordan. (playboicarti)

“And then this is Urban and Druski” Cole continues to introduce you.

you greet them all with a smile and a nice to meet you, because like we mentioned earlier we aren’t so aware of the people poppin at the moment😬 but some knew you

“Hey I really love your work dude, New Choppa was insane” - Urban says

“Thank you so muchhh!” you say with a smile.

Fast forward the night, you took some pictures with your friends and everyone, including Jack because Cole insisted.

Cole posted it on his story and everyone was going crazy because this was your first appearance since 2019. (yk how we freak out when we see frank ocean, this is how everyone was reacting to you)

You: So yeah to break it all down, I wanted Jacks fine ass since the day I met him.

Jack’s Pov

At the time I was on the rise of my Career. The song I was featured on with Lil Nas X was the #1 song in the world. Got Nominated for hella stuff, got hella awards. I was really accomplishing my dreams.

My friend Cole Bennett, creator of Lyrical Lemonde, fucking legend. I’ve worked with him for the music video of What’s Poppin my first hit ever.

He had this friend, and I had known of Arlette because she was a big help in the artistic side of this industry and uh, Urban has mentioned her name to me before when he’d show me some album covers, or a music video but, i never knew the face behind all that was arlette’s beautiful self.

So it’s October, all these halloween parties are happening and Cole had hit me up and said, “Yo I have this friend, Arlette Viotto she works in the same category as me. I don’t know if you’ve heard of her but, she’s having a birthday party today at 9 PM they’re always really sick, i’d love for you to meet her man.

And me like I said I never even seen what she looked like, but I looked her up on google and I was sent to a whole different dimension looking at how beautiful she was. I was also appalled reading everything she was behind like damn I never knew. But I hit Cole back I said I am going to that party, we invited more of our friends and walking into this lil jazz club, they were playing that techno shit, it got turnt.

And I’m walking around I see hella people here, some people are coming to greet me ya know telling me congrats on being number one all that. Cole brings me to go meet this Arlette Viotto. And man was she even prettier in person.

Meanwhile Urban was over here fangirling, i remember. That shit was hilarious, but yeah I used my skills of eye contact and smooth talking. It was love at first sight.

okay first of all sorry for taking forever on this. I have gotten so unmotivated on like everything i been wanting to write about but here is what i have of this Jack Harlow series im attempting to do. I hope you love it and there’s more coming, trust and believe!!

#smoothiesin1991 #cocainegirlsnblunts #jackharlowswifey #jack harlow fanfic #cole bennett #halloween #jazz music #when we first met #jack harlow #jack harlow smut #kali uchis #larry june