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khaoskrew111 · a year ago
Diego, sneaking into tavern room at 2am:
Forge, turning on a light and spinning around in a swivel chair: Care to tell me where you were?
Diego: I was with... uh...Lurk.
Lurk, also spinning around in a swivel chair: Care to- *keeps spinning* Forge- I can’t stop the chair-
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dndclassesquotes · a month ago
Bard: What’s the word for horny but not in a sexual way? like I’m horny for halloween but I don’t wanna fuck a pumpkin. you feel?
Rogue: ... Do you mean 'excited'?
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dndclassesquotes · 3 months ago
Ranger: Yeah I'm pretty tough... I don't really cry about stuff
Fighter: Just today you were crying about dragons
Ranger: *crying and holding a small dragon* They can’t blow out their own birthday candles!
Fighter: *yelling* WHY THE F-CK WOULD THEY NEED TO?!?!?
Ranger: *still sobbing* Dragons have birthdays too, Fighter!
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dndclassesquotes · 9 months ago
BBEG: *laughing* You’ll never stop me!
Paladin: That’s where you’re wrong! We’ll stop them with the powers of-
Ranger: Friendship!
Bard: Harmony!
Bloodhunter: *covered in blood* Incredible violence.
Cleric: And love!
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dndclassesquotes · a year ago
Druid: *throwing food at ducks* Do not forget this act of altruism. If I am ever in trouble I expect you and your brethren to come to my aid. Do not forget.
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dndclassesquotes · 10 months ago
Cleric: Oh, so suddenly you don’t have a death wish?!
Warlock: Cleric, I’ve never had a death wish. It’s just that I don’t believe I personally can even die.
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