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#it sucks the enjoyment out of the experience
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Self-Soothing
Self-Soothing skills are mostly physical techniques that use different senses. This is one of the distress tolerance skills. Different things work for different people, but the goal is to use one (or more) of the five senses to give yourself a comfortable experience when you are feeling in distress.
(These are also really great ideas for grounding!)
Here are some examples to try, but don't hesitate to add your own!
Vision:
Go visit a place you love (a museum, aquarium, maybe the beach, or a trail/view point you love.)
Watch a slideshow of your favourite pictures
Look at an aesthetic collage/board you made
Light a candle and watch the flame flicker and the wax gradually melt.
Find a video you like like a wood stove burning, or maybe rain or snow falling.
Touch:
Use a stim toy that you enjoy that has an interesting texture (slime, soft things, etc).
Pet or cuddle your pet!
Hold a favourite blanket, or maybe a stuffed animal.
Take a warm bubble bath
Lay in the grass
Hearing:
Put on your favourite music
Use an auditory stim toy you enjoy (pop tubes, snapperz, etc.)
Listen to nature sounds
Listen to your pet snoring
Go to a park and listen to the sounds of children laughing and playing
Taste:
Have a nice cup of tea, hot chocolate, coffee, etc
Suck on a hard candy
Chew on gum
Eat one of your favourite snacks
Cook a favourite meal
Go grab a favourite drink from somewhere
Smell:
Light a scented candle and focus on the smell
Use incense
Use your favourite body spray/perfume
Go for a walk somewhere where you can smell something you enjoy like the ocean, or fresh baking at the bakery
Bake or cook something to smell it in the oven
Set up a new air freshener
We sometimes feel like we don't deserve these comforts, or it's hard for us to self-soothe on our own without someone to help us. You absolutely deserve these comforts, and while it's valid to get help from others, being able to work on self-soothing for ourselves can be really beneficial to us and our relationships. I made a deal with myself that I will try self-soothing first and then reach out for help if needed after I make a solid effort on my own. The comfort that I still have the option to reach out makes me more willing to try to self-soothe on my own.
If possible, make yourself a goal to try a new self-soothing technique a week to try when you aren't in distress to see how it feels! Trying these distress skills when we aren't in distress can be really helpful to us being able to use them in distress. When you are trying them, make sure to try and focus solely on the technique. If you are using a taste technique, focus only on the taste and enjoyment of whatever it is. (Using mindfulness techniques to achieve this can be helpful!)
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andauril · 11 hours
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I've been thinking a lot about the whole drow twin foursome thing.
I don't really see it as morally bad/problematic if you take the drow twins up on the offer and have Astarion join you when he voices interest in trying it out while you're romancing him. Some people seem to be of the opinion that Tav/Durge/insert-whatever-random-character-you-ship-Astarion-with is a bad partner if they go through with the foursome bc Astarion ends up dissocciating during it.
And that honestly is ... a little bit of a weird conclusion, to me? Bc it didn't look to me like you were talking Astarion into it, you asked, he seemed receptive even somewhat excited to try it out, and unfortunately it didn't end up being an enjoyable experience for Astarion but that's just ... sometimes the way things are and healing isn't a straight path. It has ups and downs. Sometimes you make decisions and find out only after that you weren't ready for it yet. Sometimes it ends up working out wonderfully. The only way you can find out what will be the case is by trying. Healing isn't always a nice and gentle process. Sometimes it's painful and it sucks. But if you avoid the pain that sometimes comes with healing, it will never get better.
And Astarion is a grown ass man, not a baby whose hands you need to keep away from a hot stove. Also, I hope I don't need to say that this entire thing I just talked about is only valid in the scenario where he actually DOES express interest in the proposition (if you go to the drow twins before having killed Cazador and are romancing Astarion, he will refuse and tell you he's not ready for it, and if you could force him into the foursome here, you'd absolutely be a horrible partner and hopefully a soon-to-be-ex-partner too).
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crossingalaxies · 1 year
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for your consideration, a non-comprehensive list of past lone star storylines:
1. owen and gwyn rekindle their relationship, she gets pregnant, they get ready to have another baby, except shortly before the due date, she realizes it’s actually her ex’s baby
2. judd finds out he has a 17yo kid from a past one night stand he had no idea even existed, and he finds out about this right after his own daughter’s birth
3. tommy’s husband dies completely out of the blue
4. gwyn dies completely out of the blue, hit by a bike
5. tk and carlos, seemingly perfectly happy at the end of s2, are broken up at the beginning of s3. they get back together 3 episodes later
6. someone with a vendetta against owen and gabriel sets fire to their sons’ apartment and the only hint he gives them is that he’s going to destroy what they love most... and they don’t even get it
now, don’t get me wrong i love lone star, actually part of the reason i love it is that it can be so stupid that it’s funny, but that’s the point.. it’s ALWAYS been a bit of a soap opera
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oaxleaf · 1 year
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melanie's relationship to the slaughter is interesting for many reasons, but one of them is how very little she seems to neither enjoy nor be tortured by it. the main difference between slaughter and desolation is how personal it is, and that's reflected in their avatars - all desolation avatars seems to on some level enjoy the pain they cause. but beyond that, most avatars get something out of their status, like how jon says he likes some of the power and knowledge he gets, or how daisy likes the purpose of the hunt. even those who have nothing positive to say, like oliver, act more like a victim to their entity instead, where they themselves and their pain and fear are actully feeding it. but melanie always seems to speak about the slaughter like it merely numbs her. like, at least during her time as an avatar, there's no space for enjoyment nor fear nor any other emotion beyond anger. and i really like that, because once again, the slaughter is impersonal. we hardly ever get an actual description of the perpetrator in slaughter statements. it reduces someone from person into weapon
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plaguery · 1 year
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fun fact i drew these in one sitting while listening to all 6 albums of everywhere at the end of time by the caretaker. my first ever listen. dmc3 dante was the last i got to so i was detailing his abs while listening to the audio representation of someones synapses dying off in dazed agony. so thats just a little snack to chew on as an accompaniment to this
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akkivee · 23 days
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hi! i have a question about something that struck me a little while ago. i think i have a little problem with the burnout towards hypmic. the thing is i really love this fandom and I don't want to leave it behind... I KNOW YOU'RE NOT A THERAPIST AND I SHOULDN'T ASK REGULAR PEOPLE I DON'T EVEN ACQUAINTED WITH TO DEAL WITH MY PROBLEMS but i think you'd have some advices as someone who's been into hypmic for quite a long time
thank in advance<3
i wish i had more useful advice other than i’m too tired about everything else to even consider being burnt out by hypmic but that is kinda how it is lol 😓
but i revisit the series like, a fair amount!!! sometimes i have a point i’m thinking about and have to remind myself of the specifics which tends to have me jumping from chapter to chapter or media to media to try to remember where tf i read/saw that moment from lmao. and like 40% of the time i find something new to muse about it’s fun lol
i also don’t just stick to hypmic believe it or not lmao like bc i want to be here, i don’t fandom hop the way i do when i don’t have a fandom home but i do enjoy other series and picking apart my fav characters there, maybe not to the extent i do with kuukou lol but enough!!!! even when i wasn’t working as much and had more free time, i’d always be reading other stuff
i’m not being very useful gomen lol 🙇‍♀️
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thinking about gorrik's line in the gyala delve meta about how the haze is causing everyone to act antagonistic towards each other, and also the way rama and yao are so kind to him after he has his own haze hallucination experience. if we're going into the haze to get fed on and relive our worst memories, these audiologs of gorrik being supported while we're asked to go back (whoops! for the good of cantha commander!) are giving us the perfect ammunition to tear into him in a combined trauma response&haze triggered antagonism attack. which would likely result in the commander being even more alone and unsupported, as rama and yao would probably say hey what the Fuck commander, gorrik are you alright???
but i'm sure it's fine ah ha it's not like the commander is already exhausted and alone or anything ^-^
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strebcrarchivess · 1 year
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What if someone put you in a DNI?
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rifleonthewall · 1 year
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i want to so bad talk about how much i love the re4make and how much i love the original re4 but everytime i think about it i just start going a little feral
edit: i guess kinda spoilery tags
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👁️👁️ do you still play tf2?
👁👁 a little! i don't play much of Live TF2 these days, only because my computer would rather explode than allow me to run it at a good enough framerate, though there's a few settings ive only experimented with recently on other source games.
i deeply love tf2 as what it is still more or less, it's mostly my laptop that's always been a problem is all :(
#ask#anon#and it wasnt always that way! i use to have a REALLY good laptop (granted it was a generic dell laptop of some kind)#but it burned out back in 2017 and i couldnt fix it <- knows nothing about fixing laptops and shouldnt have attempted it himself#i miss that laptop dearly you have no idea.......#i could run so much stuff on that badboy.....#anyway because of my laptop (and internet) i dont play a lot of games as of late#last few games ive played are Runescape. Crash Team Racing. and a sourcemod name of Pre Fortress 2.#ive been playing that last one on and off because i have a lot of fun playing a somewhat beta recreation of TF2#but i have to warn you that if you want to play it. turn off voice chat and text chat. theres only usually one populated server#and most of the people ive had to play with there fucking suck nuts and bolts#if it weren't for that id reccomend it more or less.#i get a lot of enjoyment out of the gameplay changes they make. from the grenades. the armour system. and some changes to weapons#if you play PF2 on players muted and with sprays disabled? id say its a fun experience#all classes are a little more mobile due to all having grenades. heavy less so but yeah#you can definitely tell how much grenades distupts the core of TF2s gameplay. but i like the option of having both games#theres no loadouts in PF2 though. youre restricted to the beta loadouts of each class.#and its not necessarily a ''Pure Beta Recreation'' since they have engineer hauling and upgradable buildings#but i dont mind personally. the grenades are a lot of fun to experiment with#dispensers also deal damage when exploding. and ive used that a lot on 2fort while guarding intel#sometimes an enemy rounds a corner and doesnt see it. and im notified on my HUD and i instantly blow them into gibs#fucked up a medic and heavy's uber push because they werent expecting it#exploded the dispenser in front of the heavy so the heavy lost 80% of his health. shot him with one blast and dead#then chased down the medic before he could even really process what happened to be able to uber#its really fun to experiment with dumb shit and see what you can get away with#just the playerbase sucks really. keep VC and text off and sprays disabled and you might have a fun time#youre also a lot tankier due to the armour system so thats kinda neat in a way#anyway thank you for the ask anon :)#id like to play TF2 more if it werent because my laptop
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scientia-rex · 2 months
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A lot of younger people have no idea what aging actually looks and feels like, and the reasons behind it. That ignorance is so dangerous. If you don’t want to “be old,” you aren’t talking about a number of years. I have patients in their late 80s who could still handily beat me in a race—one couple still runs marathons together, in their late 80s—and I lost someone who was in her early 60s to COPD last year. What you want is not youth, it is health.
If you want to still be able to enjoy doing things in your 60s and 70s and 80s and even 90s, what you want to do, right now, is quit smoking, get some activity on a regular basis (a couple of walks a week is WAY better for you than nothing; increasing from 1 hour a day of cardio to 1.5 will buy you very little), and eat some plants. That’s it. No magic to it. No secret weird tricks. Don’t poison yourself, move around so your body doesn’t forget how, and eat plants.
If you have trouble moving around now because of mobility limitations, bad news: you still need to move around, not because it’s immoral not to, but because that’s still the best advice we have. I highly recommend looking up the Sit and Be Fit series; it is freely available and has exercises that can be done in a chair, which are suitable for people with limited mobility or poor balance. POTS sufferers, I’m looking at you.
If you have trouble eating plants because of dietary issues (they cause gas, etc.) or just because they’re bitter (super taster with texture issues here!), bad news. You still want to find a way to get some plants into your body on a regular basis. I know. It sucks. The only way I can do it is restaurants—they can make salads taste like food. I can also tolerate some bagged salads. On bad weeks, the OCD with contamination focus gets so bad I just can’t. However, canned beans always seem “safe,” and they taste a bit like candy, so they’re a good fallback.
If you smoke and you have tried quitting a million times and you’re just not ready to, bad news. You still need to quit. Your body needs you to try and keep trying. Your brain needs it, too. Damaging small blood vessels racks up cumulative damage over time that your body can start trying to reverse as soon as you quit. I know it’s insanely, absurdly addictive. You still need to.
You cannot rules lawyer your way past your body’s basic needs. It needs food, sleep, activity, and the absence of poison. Those are both small things and big asks. You cannot sustain a routine based on punishment, so don’t punish your body. Find ways to include these things that are enjoyable and rewarding instead. Experiment. There is no reason not to experiment—you don’t have to know instantly what’s going to work for you and what won’t, you just need to be willing to try things and make changes when things aren’t working for you.
You will still age. Your body will stop making collagen and elastin. Tissues you can see and tissues you can’t see will both sag. Cushioning tissues under your skin will get thinner. You’ll bruise more easily. Skin will tear more easily. Accumulated sun damage will start to show more and more. Joints will begin to show arthritis. Tendons and ligaments will get weaker and get injured more easily, as will muscles. Bones will lose mass and get easier to break. You’ll get tired more easily.
But you know what makes the difference between being dead, or as good as, in your 60s vs your 90s? Activity, plants, and quitting smoking. And don’t do meth. Saw a 58-year-old guy this week who is going to have a heart attack if he doesn’t quit whatever stimulant he’s on. I pretended to believe it was just the cigarettes, and maybe it is, but meth and cocaine will kill you quicker. Stop poisoning yourself.
Baby steps; take it one step at a time; you don’t need to have everything figured out right now. But you do need to be working on figuring things out.
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be-good-to-bugs · 3 months
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i wish i had the time and energy to draw more hhhh
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beelzzzebub · 7 months
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honestly i just think it's a shame that i have yet to kiss somebody
#look the romantic identity is confusing but i think it'd be easier if i just had some experience so i could tell what's the vibe#bc romantic attraction is confusing#but something deep in my hypothetical soul just wants to be chosen to be loved and wanted and held close#which lowkey sucks bc people just... don't seem to feel that way about me#but we're viiiiibinggg with it#so are we going to the drafts with this one or no#touch choices#i'm tired#i always get like this when i'm tired#or when i'm awake#i think a lot about this actually#how people may not necessarily dislike me#but all i ever seem to inspire is apathy#maybe mild casual enjoyment#but nobody ever seems to actively want or choose to be around me#especially not when there are other options#i can reach out and i can try#but at some point i can see when i'm too much#i see that people drift away when someone else enters the room#i'm a fine option in an empty room#and perhaps that is all#this always comes up#originally this was literally just about me thinking that i would probably like kissing if i ever had the chance to try it#but of course every time i spend even a little time thinking my thought process ends up back in the unimportant filler character hole#i'm really fucking tired of it actually#i'm really fucking tired of never knowing how to get past the weather#i hate that i can't even put a finger on what i'm doing wrong#is it some kind of deficit#i already feel enough like don't have any real discernable personality#or is it something repelling
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magratpudifoot · 1 year
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I am saying this as someone who does not watch trailers for media I am already interested in because I prefer knowing as little as possible--I AM SYMPATHETIC.
However
If seeing a mention of something that happens in a century-old book so diminishes your enjoyment that you feel the need to make it a problem for the person who "spoiled" you, I'm sorry, hon, but you shouldn't be using a public platform as your book club.
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hoshigray · 5 months
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𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: Toji x fem/afab! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - oral (m! receiving) - ball-massaging - face + throat-fucking - praise - pet names (baby, cutie, mama, sweet thing) - implied that reader has given oral prior - first-time Toji finding enjoyment in receiving oral - heavy depictions of a blowjob - mention of spit.
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: "Toji has never really enjoyed oral. At least, not until Y/n went down on them for the first time…"
I was playing with NSFW prompts for the first time, and this was literally the first one it gave me…genius. (¬‿¬) guess kinda a switch-up from this oldie i did~ hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New Year's, accept this as my welcome back present, hehe~ also tysm for 4.6k, hello????
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.6k
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“…Hey, Toji?” 
“Yeah, baby?”
“…Can I…..give you a blowjob?”
Up until this point, Toji was never one to be given oral from anyone. 
Giving oral isn’t a problem. But receiving it from someone else? That’s another thing. Call it his personal preference or years of sexual experience, but the older man never actually found pleasure in it. It could be from the many inexperienced minxs he’s had to get his dick wet, whose frequent teeth and bites sabotaged the mood for him. Or probably from the others who just really didn’t appear to know what they were doing — again, ruining the mood. Or the fact that most of the time, as mentioned, he finds himself satisfying his partner at the time more than himself. 
Not that he minds at all; no, no. He finds great satisfaction in going in between someone’s legs and getting them turned on from his work. But when it comes to the thought of having his dick sucked, it’s a hard pass. Respectfully. 
Which brings us to the present: him on the couch with an arm wrapped behind your shoulders, bringing you close to him as you watch television comfortably. The ceiling lights dimmed to a warm low glow, your head draped on his shoulder as his hand rubs comforting circles on yours, and the silence only filled with the voices coming from the TV isn’t awkward in the presence of you two. Why would it be? He’s with you, his little sweet thing. And that’s all he wants right now.
So, after all the fidgeting with your thumbs and the occasion glances at him (which he noticed, of course), it was apparent that you’d soon ask him something out of the blue. What he hadn’t expected, though, was that question. 
“Pfft, that’s random,” he scoffs at the sudden question, and more subtle chuckles resort from the bashful turn of your head. God, you were so cute. “Why ask, sweet thing?”
“I was…just wondering, you know?” Your eyes travel down to your twiddling thumbs, avoiding Toji’s deep, observant emerald gaze. “We’ve been together for this long, and not once have I ever given you a blowjob. And I know, you always say you’re fine with it, but like…I really wanna give you one.”
And that’s when you muster up some confidence to peer up at him meekly, and that’s what seals the deal for Toji. Who is he to deny such puppy dog eyes from his baby? 
“Okay then,” he chortles with a smirk, the scar on his right side rooted up. It’s just a blowjob. If not for me, then for them. “Do what you do, cutie.” Little did he know that this would blow his expectations far out.
It started out nice and slow. Toji indulged in your kisses as you snuck your hand into the hem of his drawstring pants, sucking on his tongue while fingers crept inside his boxer briefs to give his cock a rub. He groans into your mouth, liking how you’re setting the mood until you take your lips away from his and slide off the couch to be between his legs. Removing his underwear to the floor, you examine his half-soft dick before using your hands to wrap around the base, massaging around it while you take the tip in your mouth. Toji sighs in bliss at the feeling of your soft licks and rolls of your tongue, shifting around to get more comfortable on the couch.
His erection becomes less and less flaccid, hardening around your mouth. This is where you decide to take in more of his length, hallowing your cheeks as you push your puffy lips down halfway down his erection. By the time you reach this base, your throat is so full of Toji’s girth that you use his sweatpants as reins for your hands as you try to give yourself a few seconds to adjust to the limb occupying your throat. You continue to suck on his cock, bobbing up and down with your saliva coating him, your tongue moving around on the underside of his dick every time you suck up to the tippy top. 
The sucks and strokes to his length become a little faster, and it’s here that Toji can’t concentrate on the television. Subtle twitches of his leg result from the hummed moan you express while taking him to the hilt. The vibrations that resonate along the inner walls of your throat are felt. It feels so good. And the tongue of yours? Fuck. His brows trench down when your tongue licks from the bottom of his ridge to the frenulum, giving his cockhead an onslaught of rough licks and kisses that has Toji exhale through his nose. “Hmmnn, fuck…Y/n, baby, y’re so good at this…Uhghh!”
You release his tip with a soft ‘plop’ with a string of saliva connecting your lips to his spit-covered cock. “Ahahhn, really?” Oh, fucking shit, don’t look at him like that. Your hooded eyes peering up at him with a soft smile while your hands maintain a stroking rhythm that has Toji squirm around your grasp. And then you surprise him with a grasp of his ballsack, oh you’re a devilish cutie. “That makes me happy to know,” you give him a giggle when Toji involuntarily bucks to your hands; the veiny limb contrasting with your pretty fingers is such a sight to see. The pulsating commotion between your legs progresses more by the second.
More dangerous licks paired with the massage to his balls as Toji huff is bliss. “Ahhh, sh–shit…Ya like how my dick tastes, mama?”
Taking his cock back into your mouth with alluringly half-lidded eyes is the answer you give him, your lips covering your teeth as your jaw relaxes to welcome his neither limb back inside your warm oral cavity. The suction of your hallow cheeks became lethal with the increased speed, your tongue now swirling around him and creating such deviant noises that only Toji focuses on despite the television vices failing to drown them out. 
Holy shit, Toji wasn’t expecting this kind of treatment at all. This was downright out of the water from all the other oral ordeals he’s had in his life. How the fuck were you so good at this!? Cupping his balls while slurping his dick was such a dangerous combo; Toji doesn’t know how long he’ll contain the urge to stand and fuck your face here and now. Goddamn, the faster you bob your lips on him, the shiver down his spine is hard to ignore. His hips jerking to your mouth; he wants to fuck your face so bad. And just looking at your ass sway while you suck on him, he knows you’re enjoying this as well. 
It reaches a point where he can’t take it anymore — he wants to go faster and harder. So Toji grabs your head as he stands up and dials the tempo to a harsher motion, propelling your lips down to his pelvis. And you’re quick not to panic, being sure to breathe when Toji smacks his testicles to your chin and ruts into your face and throat with no mercy. Toji moans at the sensation of your gummy walls wrapping around his length, hissing at your muffled wails as he hits the back of your throat. “Fsshhh—Hnngh!! Fuckin’ shit, just like that, mama, just like that…Ohhggh!”
You can feel the veins on his girth pulsate, indicating that his release is soon coming. The thrusts to your face get erratically faster, so you’re sure to grab onto his sweatpants to make sure you don’t lose balance as he spills his load down your throat. Ending it with a few rough hits to your lips, Toji groans with gritted teeth, shaky, strong legs pumping his semen for you to drink, which you merrily take with muzzled squeals on his shaft. The both of you experience the last moment of this euphoric high until Toji’s body calms down, heavy breaths going slower with every expel. He gives you a few moments to suck him off a little more before removing himself from you, gradually pulling his length, quivering with the aftershocks at the dismissal of your warm walls around him. And he jolts when you tease him with one last lick to the sensitive tip. 
“Hahhh, damn, cutie,” Toji takes a seat back on the couch, eyeing you down with a weary smirk and furrowed brows. “Since when did ya like to get down and dirty?”
You sheepishly smile back and avert your eyes down, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “I’m glad you liked it, Toji.” 
“Sure as hell did,” he bends down to grab your chin and bring you in for a kiss. The squeaks you let out when he bites your lips are too adorable and hot to his ears. “Want me to eat you out, sweet thing?”
“Really?” God, you were too cute — beaming at him like that with such a lovely smile. 
“Sure thing. Besides, I saw the way you were movin' that ass while suckin’ me off. So, I got you,” Toji takes off his sweatpants, moving his legs to be on the couch entirely. His dick is still standing erect, and he gives you a suggestive grin before tapping his chest, a sign for you to get ready and sit on him. “Only if ya can do that shit on me again.” The request takes you aback for a minute, but you chuckle and stand up. You remove your bottoms and underwear, and Toji notices the wet spot on the material. 
Again, Toji is never one to be given oral. But if he’s going to be treated like this, you might be able to change his mind.
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© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2023 – dividers from @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more.
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nanaslutt · 7 months
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i just wanna like… have toji teach me how to give him head 😞
you and me both
contains: fem reader, oral(m!receiving), slightly inexperienced reader, big dick!toji, size kink, manhandling, throat fucking, cum eating, slight asphyxiation, praise, he talks you it, established relationship, dirty talk, sweet!toji :p
MDNI
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔
You’ve been standing behind the couch where toji sat for 5 minutes now.
Youve been wanting to give him head for a while now, but you have no idea where to even start.
For one you’ve never even sucked a dick before, not having a lot of prior experience before you met toji. And second, his dick was intimidatingly big.
He always had to fuck you open on four of his fingers; having had at least 2 orgasms; before he even thought about putting his dick inside you, and still the stretch was barely manageable.
The thought of what he might do to your throat since having the knowledge of how bad he can wreck your pussy, scared you.
He was so patient with you though, always wiping your fat tears off of your cheeks, cooing at your pained expression, while he let you cockwarm him, getting used to his girth before he ultimately fucked your brains out.
“Ur bein’ fucking creepy doll, what is it.” his deep voice sounded through the room. Making you stand on edge as you bit the inside of your cheek, having been found out.
“Sorry..” you bashfully apologized, walking around the side of the couch to see your boyfriend sprawled out in front of the television.
Big thighs manspreading on the cushions, arms laid out on the back of the couch, one large hand was holding a freshly cracked beer can, as he looked up at you with his dark eyes.
The look you had on your face made him curious as to what the hell you were thinking about. A mix of nervousness and contemplation plastered on your pretty face as you started to climb on him.
You slung your arms over his shoulders, straddling his hips, and placed your head in the crook of his neck and sighed deepy.
“Whacha thinkin about pretty girl?” toji asked, hand not holding his drink coming down to rest against you ass.
“I uh.. wanted to ask for your help.” you softly replied. Toji stayed silent, rubbing his hand over your backside encouragingly as he waiting for you to get the courage to speak again. He brought the beer to his mouth in the meantime, taking a couple sips.
“Been thinking about sucking your dick but uh.. I’ve never done it before.” your unexpected bluntness made him choke on his drink, recovering quickly as he looked at you the best he could with your head being in his neck and all.
“Yeah? Been thinkin’ about it?” he teased, you could practically hear his cocky smirk.
You let out a soft “mhmm” in reply.
Toji always ate you out so good, leaving you a shaking and shivering mess on his sheets every time he was finished licking you clean. He never complained when you didn’t return the favor, he knew how big he was and his experiences with women giving him head in the past wasn’t exactly.. enjoyable.
Reminders of the dull teeth that would scrape against his cock, or the lack of technique the women would use on him would flood his mind whenever he thought about receiving head.
He already picked up on how intimidated you were when his length flopped against his stomach when he removed his boxers, which is why he never dared to bring up the idea.
He figured if you wanted to try it, you would ask, then you would try, and it ultimately it wouldn’t work out like always and that would be alright.
Although toji never complained about it, he had constant fantasies of your lips around his cock. Nights when you weren’t at his apartment he spent his time in his bed, hand wrapped around his thick cock as he squeezed his eyes tightly shut. He would apply a generous amount of lube, trying to simulate the feeling of your wet mouth as he fucked his hips into his hand, pretending it was sliding down your warm throat.
His fantasy always shattering when he came, vividly picturing your face covered in his cum right before he came, but snapping out of the pipe dream when he felt the hot ropes of cum shoot on his stomach instead.
But that was satisfactory, you did plenty for him in bed, always taking his cock so fucking well, stroking him off with your small hands, his dick pressing between your thighs, your tits; he was spoiled, so who was he to complain?
Although his reply to your confession was fairly composed, toji was mentally losing his shit. Trying not to get hard at the situation and potentially scare you away when you realized his problem, being reminded of just how big he was and turning you off from the idea.
Little did he know you were well aware of that fact already. You would never be able to forget the way he split you open with the sheer size of his cock, for as long as you lived.
“I can teach you if that really sounds like somethin’ you want” he spoke nonchalantly, trying not to get his hopes up at the thought that you might actually be the one to take his dick down your throat, heart betraying him as is practically beat out of his chest.
“Really?” you perked up, sitting up to face him, loooking like an eager puppy. “Can we try it now?” you asked.
exactly like an eagar puppy.
“You sure your ready for it?” he asked, setting his drink down on the side table before joining his other hand in grabbing your ass.
“Why not? you are.” you giggle, glancing down to his lap, referring to the massive tent he was sporting. Clearly his efforts in trying to keep it down were in vein.
but jesus christ was he in high school? popping a boner at the mention of head? good lord he needed to get a grip.
“Smart ass,” he left a light slap on your backside, making you giggle. He leaned over and grabbed a pillow he used as decoration on the sofa, “Go ahead and get on your knees for me, use this so yer knees don’t hurt.” his gruff voice spoke.
You nodded obediently, placing the pillow on the carpet right between his spread thighs, while you folded your knees on the pillow, playing your hands on his knees as you waited for your next instruction.
“Rumor has it my dick is unsuckable, so,” he paused, “if this doesn’t go how you think it will, it’s not yer fault.” he assured, ruffling your hair.
“I can take it.” is the only thing you said back, the look you had in your eyes was so determined, it made his grin stretch across his face.
You watched intently as toji pulled down the band of his sweats and boxers alike. Massive cock springing up like always. His angry tip was leaking so fucking much, you were truly oblivious to how bad this idea affected the older man.
He wrapped his big hand around his thick cock, using the precum he was leaking to ease the slide against the skin as he looked down at you while you watched him stroke himself.
He noticed you squirming from your place on the floor, not to subtly pressing your thighs together.
“Watchin’ me touch myself make ur little pussy all wet?” Toji spoke, smirk, still prevalent on his face. The way in which he spoke made you think you had no shame at all.
You nodded, mouth watering watching his pre bead up in the slid of his cock before dripping down, getting swiped up by tojis large hand.
“‘s so big toji” you spoke, intimidation obviously laced in your voice, but you were so determined to be the one who took tojis cock.
You wanted to show him exactly how good he made you feel when he used his mouth for you.
“C-can I?” you slid your hands on his big thighs, training twords his cock, watching him strok himself steadily.
“Can you what?” Toji always made you use your words. He never got tired of watching how embarrassed and flustered you got over stuff like this.
His head spinning when a blush covered your face, eyes darting around the room before you spoke again, “”Can I touch it, please,” you asked.
Toji quickend his strokes, “Look at me baby.” Your eyes instantly meeting each other at his demand, his eyebrows were furrowed together. A look was plastered on his face that said you can do better than that.
Keeping your eyes on Toji’s dark and intimidating ones, you elaborated begrudgingly, “Wanna stroke your cock Toji, please”
He let out a short aroused laugh, big hand placing itself on your own, against his thigh, “Course you can baby, jus’ had to ask,”
He curled his fingers under yours, scooting his hips towards you on the couch before he placed your hand on his cock, his hand covering yours.
“You don’t need any help with this part right? Little hands always touch me so fucking good.” he praised, retracting his grip around his cock as he let you take over.
Your other hand came up to join the fun, using both your hands to wrap around his cock. You payed special attention to the tip, just how you knew toji liked, twisting your wrists together, creating delicious friction on his length.
Toji’s abs clenched under his shirt, feeling your hands on him always felt too good, his eyes drooping even more as you stroked him with vigor.
His eyebrows suddenly shot up when your head dropped down to his crotch. Your pink tongue darted out to lick in the slit of his cock, licking at the precum that had beaded up again.
He swear his brain short circuited when he felt your warm tongue touch him. That barely there feeling alone felt a hundred times better than his hand trying to mimic your mouth when he was alone.
“Someone’s eagar.” he laughed, arousal seeping into his voice when he spoke, big hand coming down to rest against your head comfortingly.
“Wanna make you feel good, can you uh.” you paused, “can you teach me now?” he thought it was so fucking cute how you currently had his dick in his hands, stroking it with a technique on par with a porn star, and you were embarrassed asking him to show you how to suck his dick.
“Want me to teach my pretty girlfriend how to suck my dick?” he corrected, making you squeeze your thighs together at his filthy mouth, an action that did not go unnoticed by toji; none of your reactions did.
“Please” you whimpered.
He tucked in his lips for a second, reminding himself not to cum the second his tip was in your mouth. Letting his plush lips pop back out he started his lesson.
“Start by lickin’ on it, just like you did a second ago.” he instructed. Toji watched you nod, looking so focused when you dropped your head back down, flattening out your tongue and rubbing it along his tip.
He relished in the feeling of thr little circles and shapes you drew. Your strokes had died down against his length, putting all of your focus on your mouth that would soon be around him.
“You can suck on the tip if you can get yerself to do it too.” He groaned out.
You wasted no time, taking a deep breath through your nose before sliding your lips down around his tip and suckling.
“Atta fuckin’ girl,” toji bit his lip between his teeth when you followed his instruction so quickly. “Use your tongue when you suck on it too princess, it’ll make me feel so fuckin good” he added, knowing how much you loved getting him off.
So you listened, rolling your tongue around his tip as you bobbed your head a bit, taking his tip and just under that into your mouth. He tasted salty against your tongue as his tip leaked pre steadily into your mouth.
Toji slung a hand up behind him, placing it on the back of the sofa and squeezing the pillow between his fingers harshly, trying to ground himself, his other tangling itself in your hair still.
He had to actively fight his hips to not thrust into your mouth and just bully his cock down your throat, but it was so fucking hard. Every neuron in his brain was telling him to do so at the visual of you eagerly sucking on his cock.
He clenched his jaw hard when you looked up at him, presumably, for another direction.
“Wanna try taking it a little deeper?” he asked, eyes fluttering when you moaned out an “mhmm” around him, abs clenching at the vibration.
“Good girl.” He praised at your need to learn. “Keep your teeth tucked behind your lips and relax your throat so you don’t choke,” he gagged, though the thought of you choking around him didn’t sound half bad, but he was trying to be nice right now.
“Don’t push urself doll, take more whenever your ready.” he said, restraint was coursing through his veins. He didn’t want to get carried away and start thrusting haphazardly. He knew that if he showed restraint and this went well, that maybe in the future you would let him fuck your throat, that thought kept him sane right now, constantly reminding him of that revelation.
Toji tried to let himself relax against the cushions when you took him a little deeper.
Your mouth was being stretched painfully around his length the further you got down, a similar feeling to how your cunt felt when he slid in for the first time.
Eyes starting to water, forcing back a gag when you barely got halfway down his cock, and he was already pressed to the back of your throat.
Toji’s eyes rolled back in his sockets, he ran his fingers through your hair at the feeling of your mouth constricting him. “Doin so fucking good baby girl shiiiit,” he groned. You rubbed your thighs together at the praise.
So far he only felt your teeth graze him once, and that was already doing way better than the people who have attempted this before you.
The moans and whimpers you let out around him were sending delicious vibrations straight to his balls. His cock throbbing and twitching inside your warm mouth, threatening to spill into the cavern already.
He wanted to let you have your fun before he ruined it with his orgasm, and would ultimately have to wait till his cock was ready again before you continued. Although it probably wouldn’t take long with knowing just how hard he got in seconds at only the thought of your mouth around him, now having experienced it a little, he might not even have a refractory period after he came.
but he digressed
Toji jolted when you gagged around his cock, coughing around him and sending sputters of spit around him. “Fuck, c-careful doll, don’t hurt yourself” Toji groaned.
While you let yourself get used to taking in half, your hands came up to stroke what couldn’t fit in your mouth.
“Bob your head a little pretty thing, keep using your tongue too, just like you did for my tip.” his deep voice instructed when he noticed you just kept his length in your mouth, only moving your hands.
You followed his advice, bringing your warm mouth up, and back down on the amount that was comfortable for you right now, hands meeting your lips on the upstroke.
Toji was in heaven, he wanted to pull out his phone and take a video so he never forgot the scene in front of him.
He had never experienced receiving head that felt this fucking good before. His toes were curling in his slippers, balls tightening, and abs clenching rhythmically to match his heart wet as he watched you work.
It was so messy, spit was accumulating on the base of his cock, and his pelvis. Watching string of spit connect from the base to your small hands and lips was making his head feel fuzzy.
Much to his dismay, you popped off his dick, keeping your grip around the bottom of his cock when you spoke, “Toji, I wanna take it deeper” you whined, sounding frustrated. “Cant do it by myself, It won’t go any further.” you poured up at him, begging eyes pleading for some guidance.
oh this was fucking perfect, he thought.
The promise of future throatfucking that was preventing him from destroying your throat right now; opting to let you set the pace; might be seeing the light of day sooner than he though.
“Want me to help you sweet thing?” He asked, holding your cheek in his large palm, rubbing against your spit covered skin.
“P-please toji” you begged.
He felt the coil in his stomach tighten, this would not take long, but that was fine, he didn’t know if you would be able to take it for very long anyways.
Toji stood up in front of you, holding the sides of your head in his hands as he spoke, “Gonna fuck your throat okay?” he said, “If it’s too much jus’ tap my thigh n’ i’ll stop” he said, chest heaving before you took his cock back into your mouth.
You gripped your nails into his thighs, rubbing your legs together as you tried to alleviate some of the neediness you were feeling between your thighs.
You started to bob the first couple inches of him in your mouth, hands free; before he spoke. “Gonna move now ‘kay?” Toji waited till he felt you nod before he thrust his hips into your mouth.
You panicked a bit when you felt his cock slide down your throat, gagging around him when he pressed his balls completely to your chin, short hairs on his pelvis tickling your nose.
“Fucking- sh-ittt,” Toji groaned, holding you against him while you gagged and sputtered, “Relax your throat baby, ‘s okay, not gonna hurt ya” he comforted, “Took me so fucking well,” he continued praising.
Warning you before he started thrusting, you dug your nails into his skin, making him groan as he fucked his cock in and out of your wet cavern.
He cooed at you, watching the cat tears roll down your thighs as he mercilessly fucked your mouth. Years of unsatisfactory blowjobs and pent up need was being unleashed on your throat, and you were taking it like a fucking champ. “God, right fucking t-throat feels so good baby, you okay?” he asked, knowing you were in no place to give a proper respose, but he felt the agreement in vibrations around him when you tried to spoke
Making his smirk stretch across his face once more. Spit strings were connecting from your chin and his balls, as he kept up his bruising pace. “fuckfuckfuck,” toji let out a string of curses, “good-fucking-girl” he repeated in between thrusts.
The eye contact you were keeping with him was making him feel drunk, “Keep lookin at my baby, doin so good, keep those pretty eyes on me,” he instructed, biting his lip down at you.
He pulled your head off of his cock right before he came, letting you swallow down air as you let a small coughing fit wrack your lungs, toji pet your hair until the end of it.
“Doin so good,” he praised “I’m about to cum, Is it alright if I go a little harder? Wont take long sweet thing,” he promised.
Your small hand leaving his thigh to rub at your sore throat, strained voice pushing out your consent before he continued.
You used your hand to guide his cock back in your mouth, before dropping it back onto his thigh for stability. He wiped away your tears before he started up again, “You can take it,” he assured.
He curled his fingers into your head, gripping your hair as he brought your head into him to meet his thrusts, heavy balls slapping your chin with his mean thrusts, gagging and groans of approval being heard throughout the room.
Toji didn’t lie when he said this wouldn’t take long, his thrusts were so much rougher than before, more frequent too, leaving you with a shorter window to get air into your lungs between thrusts.
Vision starting to twinkle with spots when his thrusts started becoming erratic and losing their rhythm, “Take it take it fuck” his deep voice groaned, “So fucking close ohmygod“ he looked down at your fluttering eyes, new tears having been spilled over your cheeks at the harshness.
“Gonna swallow it all for me pretty girl? hmm?” The final straw being when you looked up at him, finally making eye contact with your fucked out eyes, “cumming- shit shit sh-“ he groaned long and deep, hot ropes of cum shooting down your throat as you used all the brainpower you had to swallow around him, trying not to pass out from the lack of air.
Roughly pulling your hair back by one of his big hands, the other coming down to stroke his hand quickly over his cock, the last of his seed being pained all over your pretty face.
The black dots in your vision started fading as you gulped air greedily into your lungs, sticking your tongue out instinctly while his hot cum landed in long streaks all over it.
“fuuuuuuuck” toji almost whined, cock still in hand as he flopped back down into the cushions. “think i almost died,” he said softly, chest heaving up and down like he just ran a marathon.
Sweat was beating off his face, face flushed red and eyes lidded as his soul slowly but surely came back into his body, you rested your head against his thigh as he stroked the side of your face.
Toji leaned down, scooping you up under your arms and placing you in his lap, cradling you against his hard chest as the two of you caught your breath, “think i’m addicted to ur mouth,” his voice resonating through his chest vibrating through your body when he spoke.
“Think my mouth is addicted to your cock,” your horse voice retaliated, making him wince in remorse, “fuck” he laughed, “you sound awful, promise i’ll make you some tea for your throat later” he promised, caressing the back of your head.
“later?” you asked, curious as to why he doesn’t go make a cup now as it only take a couple minutes, “gotta eat ur pussy out to show u how much I loved what ya’ did for me first.” he said, like it was obvious. “But i guess if ya’ want I can make you tea first.” he half joked.
You pulled back from his chest, grabbing his shirt and pulling him back onto the couch cushions with you, his huge frame swallowing yours, “tea can wait.” you smiled.
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