#it was 5 years ago which is INSANE to me. holy fuck

[dentpx]

Zoe's Ultimate Favorite Character of All Time Poll: Day Nine category: when i dabbled on kinblr you were on my kinlist

#LOL. the caard is still up somewhere i'll find it later #anyway congrats to these three for making me so crazy i was on kinstagram briefly #it was not for me. the kinlist is defunct but they are still near and dear to me heart #character of all time poll #day nine #update i found my carrd. absolutely cannot share this thing it is too embarassing #it was 5 years ago which is INSANE to me. holy fuck

[coloursofaparadox]

.

#uggghhhhhhhhhhhh #this is the first time i think in my whole life that ive lived alone #had a job that didnt make me wear out my social battery #or compromise my physical health #and have been financially stable enough to afford necessities without worrying #which is all amazing #and means that ive actually had the opportunity to decide hey #im fucking dying #everything has been insane and shitty and traumatic for months #so im going to just. do nothing. until i can stand to even think about interacting with people or doing basic household tasks without #curling into a ball #and it took a lot longer than i thought it would #its been i think....5 weeks? #of leaving the house only when i have to for groceries and only doing the absolute bare minimum to keep my living area functional #going back to coping with headphones on when i go outside like i used to and kind of forget why i stopped doing it #and in general just. spending my time rewatching my old favourite series and shows and manga and books #i can count on one hand the number of times ive socialized with a friend outside my house #and holy fuck i needed this #i needed this years ago i think #it took 5 weeks before i could even think about willingly being out in public with strangers and not doing everything i can to avoid it #my house is a mess and i havent unpacked and my yard is overgrown #but im finally starting to look at tasks around the house without a crippling sense of dread anymore #and can sometimes just. do em. without having to suppress massive anxiety and exhaustion and stress and burnout to get through it #i was kinda relying on blind faith that i was doing the right thing in giving myself permission to just not keep up on my life #and that it wouldnt just spiral into depression lol #and its actually paying off #thank fuck #its probably 'recovering from years of burnout' in technical terms but yknow what #i can now make myself food without waiting till im literally having hunger pangs or until i nearly lose my balance walking the dog #and cleaned up a bit! and hung up some of my wall shelves!

[p4nishers]

bc i am in fact insane, i rewatched the 1967 scene and took notes only to prove my theory that one of them (crowley) tried to confess in 1941 and got rejected before they could even say a word.

now to the stuff i noticed or perhaps deluded myself into:

crowley actively goes out of his way to gain aziraphale's attention, i mean come on, robbing a CHURCH in SOHO for HOLY WATER?? he clearly wanted aziraphale to notice he was doing dumb shit and stop him

the only time aziraphale actually seeks out crowley, which obviously everyone noticed, but i'm thinking maybe crowley was afraid to seek him out bc he feared an another rejection and they obviously parted on shit terms given by the tension between them

"i needed a word with you" "a word?" the way crowley actually sounds afraid (OF ANOTHER REJECTION?!!!)

they clearly haven't spoken since '41 (again, that is obvious to everyone but it fits with my theory so i had to mention it)

crowley barely meets aziraphale's eyes, is constantly looking away, never fully turns to face him

"a 100 and 5 years ago" needed to emphasize that you remember the exact year, did you babe? he REMEMBERS everything that happened between them and he's not about to let aziraphale forget that

"after everything you said?" clearly he's not just talking about their argument in 1862 cause aziraphale barely said shit to him just stormed away so he could be referring to '41 where aziraphale not only rejects him but forbids him of ever speaking on his feelings

the nervousness/awkwardness that wasn't there before between them

"don't look so disappointed" girl??

–> processed to list romantic date ideas for them in the future, "when all of this is over" girl what are u talking about? perhaps mayhaps when heaven and hell are no longer on ur asses?? aziraphale what the fuck are u saying to this man don't get his hopes up now

"you go too fast for me crowley" = what i said in '41 still stands. i can't be with you in the way you want me to be. i'm too afraid. i don't want to be just something you speed over and throw away when you're bored. wait for me.

anyway add whatever u noticed that i didn't pls i would love if a smart person helped me out here

#this is absolutely delusional and you have every right to ignore it #no the way i ACTUALLY took out my little gay notepad and PENCIL and rewatched that scene like 10 times i am actually not sane #someone tell me if this is too ridiculous so i can delete it before too many ppl see #good omens #good omens s2 speculation #good omens s2 #aziraphale #crowley #azicrow #ineffable husbands #crowley x aziraphale #good omens analysis #also this was the time crowley met shadwell and it's probably important bc both of them know him i just cant figure out why its important

[god-mouths]

Scott pilgrim is a modern retelling of Dante’s Inferno, and I want to talk about it

Hi . Brought this up very briefly a while ago but i rewatched spto with friends last night and got my gears turning. I don’t usually make posts like this but It’s been on my mind and I want to share. Here we goooo. Under read more becwuse I wish not to disturb my beloved friends with a long post

First off, let’s start with theeeee obvious.

Say hello to our Dante and Beatrice.

I don’t think I need to go into this first one much, but Scott and Dante are of course the heroes(term used lightly. Scott is not a good person and honestly neither was fuckinh Dante of all people) of their respective tales, going through hell and back to win over this ethereal, “too good to be true” heavenly dream girl. Scott even dies to get her in the end, like Dante venturing down into the depths of hell, dying and then ascending to get to Beatrice. If I wanted to really stretch it I could say the dreamscape is a sort of purgatory but I don’t think there’s enough evidence for that one.

Next,

Our Virgil. What’s up, Wallace.

In the comics Wallace acts as a sort of guide to Scott. We end up seeing him less as the comic progresses, which I find lines up with Virgil having to part ways with Dante before he enters heaven. Not much to say otherwise admittedly. Love you though buddy

Now for the symbolism of hell. Since there are nine circles of hell, it obviously can’t match up one to one with the exes unless we add some of scott’s relationships to the mix, which both doesn’t make sense, causes this analysis to get stupider than it already is, and leaves some characters left over that already don’t fit in to these parallels.

Luckily, however, there are The Seven Deadly Sins. Going to be going in sin order rather than ex order here

Firstly,

MATTHEW PATEL - PRIDE

- the first boyfriend and the first sin very conveniently line up, which threw me off track because I thought the exes would go in the order of the sins. Enyways

- in the movies, comics, and shows, he is insanely flashy with how he presents himself. It’s the entrance, the dances, the expressive clothing (“that guy’s dressed as a pirate” “pirates are in this year!”, modifying Gideon’s suit to fit his color palette, the outfit he wore while kicking gideon’s ass). The theatre kid in him essentially

- taking the lead in the musical Knives and Stephen presented him with— they knew how to cater to him, because he views himself as the coolest bitch on the planet. Which honestly he kind of is but don’t tell him this

- so headstrong in his pride that he fucks up. Repeatedly. First to get killed, too cocky, spends all of gideons money “I’ve lost billions!”

- believes he’s entitled to Ramona as soon as he wins the fight against Scott

GIDEON- GREED

- I don’t feel like I have to explain this one but I will because I enjoy him greatly

- CEO, billionaire. Money money money mr rich

- literally “owns” or tries to excersize ownership Ramona in the comics and movie as if she belongs to him— with the glow, or with the chip implanted into her neck with his logo on it.

- has all of his past girlfriends cryogenically frozen. All for him none for anyone else. They should only love meeeeee.

- wants everything for himself in excess. Women, fame, money. Almost considered pride for him also but greed is more fitting

KEN AND KYLE- ENVY AND LUST

- holy shit this image has five pixels so sorry about that I’m on my phone and Google images sucks

- anyways of course they’re sharing sins

- not much to say here as they don’t show up much, and it’s easy to make the argument of envy or lust for ANY of the seven exes. These two were the hardest to figure out. Not as sure on Envy, but can definetly advocate for lust— playing around with women, thinking they were playing around with Ramona.

TODD- GLUTTONY

- this one was the easiest one for me. Like come on

- breaks vegan edge in the comics, movie, (vegan police), and show (Wallace breakup event 2 dead 5 injured)

- his whole persona revolves around food. Of course gluttony doesn’t always mean food but here it most definetly equates. Even when he’s vegan he always makes it a talking point of how superior he is to others because of this fact, only for it to blow up in his face when his enjoyment of non vegan food catches up to him.

ROXY- WRATH

- a very angry girl to be sure. Takes her emotions out using violence, attacking Ramona the first time she sees her, even though she is going out of the order of the league and supposed to be attacking Scott (although I guess that point is moot because they all think he’s dead at that point)

- “I’m bi-furious” line from the movie deserves a shout out here I think

- (completely justified) Unending rage against Ramona in the show, and scott in the comics and movies. She is PISSED.

Lastly,

LUCAS LEE- SLOTH

- also one of the easiest ones. Could have made an argument for pride (tries to prove he can land a sick ollie so hard that he dies) or greed (movie star who lives in huge mansion), but sloth ultimately fit the bill the best.

- even before we get into his reoccurring theme of “whatever” in the show, it’s pretty evident in the comics and movie that he doesn’t care enough to extend effort. He tells Scott he’ll leave him alone and say his ass got kicked if Scott gave him a twenty dollar bill, sends his stunt doubles to fight Scott in his stead.

- onto the show, he lets his stardom slip out of his fingers with his attitude, not even caring to read or memorize the script anymore (“is that why half the lines in your last film were ‘Let’s Party’?” “I uhh, read the title.” Etc). Just spends all his time messing around and skateboarding. The title of his episode is literally “Whatever”. He doesn’t give enough of a shit to care. Which. Respect I guess

Extra; the exes ARE referred to as “the seven deadly chumps” in the show.

In conclusion;

#Scott pilgrim #ramona flowers #Wallace wells #matthew patel #gideon graves #todd ingram #roxy richter #lucas lee #kyle katayanagi #ken katayanagi #scott pilgrim takes off #scott pilgrim vs the world #writing #not ocs #this took me an hour to write tghis is why there’s so many tags. #anyways thank you bye bye

[gummydummy19]

until you ruined it

Content Warning: SMUT, some degradation, enemies to lovers, L-bomb, hate fucking, cursing, enhanced reader, age gap (reader is early 20s, Bucky is early 30s), AU Avengers ft Steve Rogers, Wanda, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Bruce Banner, Natasha Romanoff, Sam Wilson all living in Stark tower together, kind off adopted stark reader, ANGST, happy ending, fluff.

A/N: I had so much fun writing this bhahahahah, as always, let me know what you think and requests are always open! ily x

Word Count: 4318

God you fucking hated him. You LOATHED him. Every single thing he did pissed you off.

You were sat in the kitchen of the Stark Tower, having a lovely quiet breakfast before Bucky had to stroll in and ruin it.

He stirred his coffee, the little spoon hitting the inside of the mug over and over again. You let out a deep sigh, trying to keep your calm. But as soon as you caught a glimpse of that amused smirk, you lost it.

He was pissing you off on purpose, because he fucking enjoyed it.

You shot a tiny electric spark his way, hitting his hand. It wasn’t enough to hurt him, but it was enough to make him drop his mug. Coffee spilled over his pants and his shoes as the cup shattered all over the kitchen tiles.

“WHAT THE FUCK Y/N?!”

“Oops” you said innocently, as you grabbed your glass of orange juice and walked back to you room.

Okay maybe you had overreacted a tiny bit, but in your defence, the last couple of months had been straight up TORTURE.

Sure, your life hadn’t been the easiest, but you were perfectly happy with the way things were.

You lived in the Stark Tower, as a part of the Avengers. Tony and Pepper basically adopted when you were 16, which was now over half a decade ago.

Your father used to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. He was killed by Hydra during an attack on his base when your mother was 6 months pregnant. They took her hostage and she died while giving birth to you.

That was what you had been told.

You don’t really remember a lot of what happened after that, you blocked most of it away.

When you were 5 years old, S.H.I.E.L.D rescued you from Hydra. You were put into a special foster program and were given pills for so called “allergic reactions”.

According to Pepper, S.H.I.E.L.D always kept taps on you, they just wanted you to have a normal childhood. When you got older the meds weren’t enough to keep your powers down, that’s when Tony took you in and made you an Avenger.

You were grateful S.H.I.E.L.D tried so hard to give you a normal childhood, you just always felt like something was missing, and when you moved into the tower, that void finally got filled.

They were your family. Your home.

Bruce and Tony helped you with your powers, while Steve and Nat helped you with physical training. When the physical training from Captain insane and Ninja Nat got too intense, you could always count on Sam for a good old jog in the park. You and Wanda even took some classes together to finish your degree, since you were only 2 years apart and she never got to finish hers.

Your life was perfect the way it was, until he had to walk in and ruin it.

Exactly 3 months ago, Steve introduced Bucky to the family. You didn’t know much about him, only that he was very important to Steve and they knew each other back in the 40s.

Bucky had been through a lot, spending years of his life brainwashed, fighting as Hydras personal murder puppet. It must have been awful. So when Steve finally found his best friend again, you were all really excited to meet him and welcome him to the team.

You remember the moment you first met Bucky like it was yesterday. You, Sam and Tony were sitting on the couch, watching some boring reality show, when the sound of the elevator dinging made you turn around.

Holy fuck. You didn’t mean to stare, but you were physically unable to tear your eyes off of him. He had to be the single most handsome man you had ever seen in your entire life, and you lived with the Avengers for christ sake.

Steve’s voice pulled you from your thoughts.

“Y/N, Tony, Sam… This is Bucky. He’s moving in today.”

Damn, this man was hot. You felt like a schoolgirl with a crush, your throat went dry, your face burned and your brain was somehow unable to make a coherent sentence.

That lasted a whole 10seconds before he opened up his stupid mouth.

“I didn’t know stark tower had a kids department.”

Wait what? You could have died right there. You were damn near drooling over the sight of him and he just called you a child.

Get your fucking shit together Y/N, you thought to yourself.

Tony and Sam bursted out laughing beside you, Steve had the decency to try and stifle his chuckle, but overall it just made your slight embarrassment worse.

“Yeah, apparently now we are turning it into a retirement home.” You shot back.

“I was just kidding” Bucky said, an arrogant smirk plastered on his face.

“So was I” you replied, and with that, you left the room.

Ever since that day it had been nothing but snarky comments and disgusted looks between the two of you. And it only got worse.

You hated it. You hated him. But most of all, you hated how attracted you still were to him.

Maybe your attitude towards him was a reaction to his behaviour towards you, or maybe it was your way of covering up how you actually felt about him.

Either way, you knew where your hatred for him came from, but you didn’t have a clue what it was about you that made him so mad, and it was messing with your head.

You couldn’t stand how much you cared. How some days when the bickering got so bad, you’d lie awake at night thinking what was so irritating about you that he had to be so mean.

You made sure he never knew tho. He never had a clue how much his words actually hurt you or how much you just wanted to have one normal conversation with him. How badly you wanted to get to know him. And how desperately you craved just a tiny bit of intimacy every once in a while.

You were sitting in your room, behind your desk, sipping your orange juice while scribbling down some things on your to do list, when all of a sudden, your door bursted open.

“Why the fuck do you have to be such a fucking BITCH all the time ?!?!” Bucky shouted at you.

“Ever heard of fucking knocking, grandpa?!” You yelled right back at him as you shot up from your seat.

“I have coffee all over me because you can’t control your fucking temper!” His voice boomed through your room as he stalked closer to you.

“It was a fucking accident. Get the fuck over it, old man” you said, not really knowing how to react to the sudden lack of personal space.

“An accident?!” He questioned. “I spend the last 20minutes mopping the kitchen floor!”

“Oh dear! What are you, scared you’re gonna turn into a 1940s housewife when you touch a fucking mop?” You chuckled. “The hell you want me to do about it ?”

“Apologise.” He almost growled, you could feel his breath on your face.

“HAH, you wish” you laughed.

“I fucking said, apologise.” His voice was way more quiet now, but still stern.

“And I fucking said no.” You tried your best to make your tone match his, but the proximity made you nervous.

He didn’t reply immediately, you had no idea what he was thinking, or what he was going to say next.

Bucky let out an angry groan before surging forward and smashing his lips on yours. He pushed you back until your ass hit your desk.

“God you’re so fucking insufferable” he growled as he picked you up to sit you on the desk and moved to stand in between your legs, waisting no time in ripping off your shirt.

What the hell was happening.

“Fuck you!” You growled back at him as you fumbled with his belt.

“Shut your fucking mouth for once and then maybe I will” he said as he quickly pulled off his own shirt before crashing his mouth on yours again.

Your hands roamed over his torso. It felt so good to have him so close to you.

“Take off your bra” he said, while unbuckling his belt.

Your cheeks grew hot. This was just sex. A physical outlet of all the tension that had been growing between the two of you for months. He hated you, he was just horny and annoyed and he needed someone to take it out on. And as much wanted it to be more, you knew you would happily take whatever he gave you, and you hated yourself for it.

As soon as your bra hit the floor, his eyes grew wide, and 10 shades darker.

“Fuck” he breathed out, and he immediately latched his mouth on your nipple.

You let out a heavenly moan as he started massaging the other breast with his metal hand. The cold sensation of the metal on one breast and his hot wet tongue on the other had your mind spinning.

He moved to slide his hands under your skirt and dragged your panties down, letting them fall on the floor next to your bra.

His metal fingers came to mess with your folds and you swear you stopped breathing for a second.

“oh FUCK, Bucky” you moaned as he circled your clit, his teeth slightly tugging on your hard nippled before kissing up your neck.

Your hands moved to his waist, pulling down his pants and underwear enough to reveal his throbbing cock.

You took him in your hand and started pulling slow and steady strokes up and down his shaft, hearing his breath getting heavy in your ear. All while he kept rubbing your clit with his metal hand.

“Im gonna fuck that attitude right out of you, you little bitch” he said as he pulled his fingers from your dripping pussy, before pushing his length into you in one slow, steady motion.

“Oh SHIT” you both moaned in unison.

You wanted to wrap your arms around his shoulders, to kiss him, to pull him closer, but you couldn’t bring yourself to show him how much you wanted him. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, or maybe you wanted to spare yourself the embarrassment.

You placed your hands on either side of your thighs, gripping onto the desk until your knuckles turned white.

He started thrusting into you, his hands held onto your hips so hard you were sure they were going to leave bruises.

His head was buried in your neck and his movements were rough. His pace was perfect, his cock dragged across that spongey spot inside of you with every single thrust. You bit your lip in a sad attempt to keep yourself quiet.

The room was filled with nothing but the sounds of pure filth. Flesh slapping against flesh, Bucky’s muffled groans and sighs and the occasional moan you just couldn’t help but let fall past your lips.

You felt a warmth starting to spread in your lower stomach and your walls started pulsing around his throbbing cock.

“Oh fuck I can feel you, are you gonna cum for me?” He breathed against your neck.

Bucky’s metal fingers started rubbing your clit and you were gone.

“Yeah” was the only coherent thing you managed to get out before you felt yourself tumble over the edge.

A few pathetic little “ah ah ah”s followed by a loud moan and a heavenly sigh left your mouth as your orgasm washed over you.

Bucky managed to fuck you through it until he finally couldn’t contain himself anymore.

“AARGHH fuck SHIT fhuh…” a string of curses and gasps filled your ears as he pulled out of you and finished all over your stomach, stroking himself until he was utterly and entirely spent.

When you both started breathing normally again, Bucky quickly pulled his pants back up.

“Let me know when you’re washing that, I still need this coffee stain dealt with” he said, signaling to your cum covered skirt and his coffee pants.

“Get the fuck out of my room, Barnes” was all you managed to get out before you hopped off your desk and walked into your bathroom, trying your best not to wobble too much.

What the fuck just happened?

You took off the remains of your ruined clothes and turned on your shower as you heard your front door close. Bucky had left. Just like you asked him to.

You let out a deep breath you didn’t know you’d been holding as you stepped underneath the streams of hot water.

Fog surrounded you. Clouding your vision as your thoughts clouded your mind. Bucky had slept with you. No, he had fucked you. He had used your body as he pleased and you had let him. And fuck, you wanted him to do it again. Over and over and over again until he grew tired of you, which you hoped he never would.

Part of you had never been so disappointed in yourself. Yet another part had never been so satisfied.

You stood there, in your shower, trying to wash away the guilt until the water turned cold.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Arrogant asshole” you spat in between kisses while your fingers clawed at his shoulders.

“Ignorant bitch” Bucky growled as he pushed you further inside of his room, mindlessly slamming shut the door behind him.

Somehow you had gotten here again, wrapped up in your steaming hatred for one another, engulfed in a passionate battle for dominance.

Ever since that day in your room, the two of your couldn’t seem to stay away from each other. Seeking each other out and getting under each other’s skin until one of you snapped.

Today was no different. You had gotten back from a mission, and you were hurt.

You got hurt, while saving Bucky.

“Couldn’t even do what you were told ONCE!” He yelled, spinning you around so your boobs were pressed against his wall.

“You’re lucky I fucking saved your ass, grandpa!”

He pulled down the zipped of your suit, revealing your bare, bruised back. The sight made him growl, he bend down and licked a long stripe up your spine, nibbling and biting along the way.

You winced when his teeth hit a cut. “Fuck! Watch it, Barnes.”

“I wouldn’t fucking have to if you had been more careful!” He snapped back, yanking your shoulder, making you turn around again.

His lips smashed back against yours, capturing them in a bruising kiss.

Your hands flew to his neck, tugging on the short strands of hair.

God it felt good to have him this close to you. It always felt so good.

“Hurry the fuck up, Barnes.” You growled as he took his sweet time, nibbling on your neck.

“Patience.” He teased.

You felt the air get thicker, as if time slowed down.

Bucky slowly slid the rest of your suit off, leaving you bare in front of him.

You felt your stomach turn as his hungry gaze scanned your naked body.

He pulled his own shirt over his head and started taking a few steps back, until his legs hit the edge of his bed.

Never breaking eye contact with you, he took off his jeans, leaving him in just his boxer shorts.

Bucky sat down at the foot of the bed.

“Come here” he said, a sly smirk teasing the edge of his lips.

You slowly made your way over to him, covered in nothing but cuts and bruises.

His hands immediately found your waist as you moved to straddle his lap, your mouth crashing on his.

Bucky groaned, sliding his hands flat over your exposed back. Roaming over every inch of bare skin.

His metal hand found the back of your neck, when you started grinding into his clothed erection, he tangled his metal fingers in your hair and pulled your head back.

“I said, patience.” His voice sounded stern yet playful.

“You need a lesson on how to do as you’re told” he chuckled.

“You need a lesson on how to say thank you, you ungrateful piece of shit.” You managed to snap back at him.

In the blink of an eye, Bucky had flipped you over on the bed, pinning you underneath him as he hovered over you, his nose flared and his eyes turned dark.

“Grateful?! That’s what you want me to be after you almost get yourself killed, you stupid little bitch?” He spat, pushing his hand in between your legs.

“Oh please, don’t make it sound like you care!” You suppressed a moan at the feel of his metal fingers teasing your wet core.

“I fucking don’t! But it would be nice to not feel like I’m babysitting the toddler of the group every time I set foot on the field!”

Ouch.

You tried your hardest to cover up how hurt you were. You thought that after all this time, Bucky finally saw you as an equal, an adult. More than some annoying 20 something only good enough to keep his dick wet. Guess you should have known better.

“God you’re so fucking annoying!” He growled as he finally tugged his underwear off, revealing his rock hard cock.

He stroked himself a few times before sliding in between your soaking folds.

You both let out a mixture of sighs and moans as he started moving in and out of you in slow, hard thrusts.

“There you fucking go. Like you so much better with my dick inside of you.” Bucky said as he picked up the pace.

His words from earlier were still ringing in your ears.

Babysitting the toddler.

He saw you as a burden.

“Shut up and make me cum.” You groaned, getting closer to that precious high.

“I told you to be patient.” He smirked as he slowed down again, just when you felt yourself giving in to that much needed release.

Maybe it was the heat of the moment, the pent up stress of the day, whatever. You felt your eyes getting itchy. Tears prickling at your waterline, ready to spill.

“GOD I FUCKING HATE YOU” you screamed.

No I don’t. I fucking love you.

Your mind was racing. Your body was aching. You just wanted Bucky. You were tired. So tired. Tired of games. Tired of pretending to hate him when in fact, you didn’t, not even a little bit, not even at all.

“I fucking hate you too” Bucky’s voice was raspy in your ear. Reminding you that this was no more than a primal need. A way to relieve some stress.

He picked up his pace again. Your ankles hooked around his lower back in an attempt to keep him there as his pubic bone rubbed against your clit, making you see stars.

Your hands flew around his shoulders, gripping his neck and tangling at his hair.

“Please.” you moaned, surprising both Bucky and yourself with your sudden vulnerability.

“What’s the matter, Princess? Change of heart?” He teased.

You were so tired.

And he was making you feel so good.

“Bucky, please.” You hadn’t noticed the tears finally started running down your cheeks until you felt him kiss them away.

“Please,…I…” you whimpered as you felt yourself getting closer and closer.

“Ssshhh” he whispered. The first moment of comfort you had ever gotten from Bucky.

It all became too much.

“Bucky, I…god….I…”

“Let go, princess. Cum for me”

That was all you needed. Feeling yourself tumble over the edge. Your mind was racing.

“Fuck, oh…oh…fhuh, I…I love you…”

Your voice was merely a whisper as you felt the fireworks erupting inside of you. It was all too much.

Bucky’s hips stuttered and he came inside of you with a deep groan, dropping his head on your shoulder as he kept slow fucking the both of you through your highs.

After a couple seconds, your eyes fluttered open, making you realize you had closed them a while ago.

Bucky was still breathing heavily, laying collapsed on top of you, when the realization hit you.

You didn’t say that out loud, did you?

As if he read your mind, Bucky raised his head. You were greeted with the most shit eating grin you had ever seen in your life.

Oh no. Fuck, god please no.

“Does someone have a little crush?” He chuckled. Making you want to die.

Before you knew it, tears started welling in your eyes again. You pushed him off of you, scrambling from under him and getting off the bed.

You hurriedly wrapped a loose blanket around yourself and picked up your discarded suit.

“Where are you going?” He laughed, not really understanding the situation.

You gave him one last look before leaving, finally making him notice the tears in your eyes.

“You know what, Barnes? Go fuck yourself.” You sniffled as you rushed out of his room.

This was by far the most embarrassing moment of your life. By the time you got to your room on the other side of the hallway, you full on broke into tears.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bucky sat on his bed as he watched you rush out of his room. The sight of your teary eyes made his grin melt away like snow on a sunny day.

You loved him?

You?

Loved him?

The sounds of your muffled cries travelled through the empty halls and closed doors, reaching his enhanced ears.

Oh for fucks sakes.

He quickly pulled on a pair of boxer shorts and made his way to your room.

He padded through the desolate hallway, stopping in front of your door, trying to ignore the sudden nervous pit in his stomach.

He never meant to hurt you. When he saw you risk your life on the field today, in order to save him. Something inside him snapped.

Truth be told, from the moment he laid eyes on you, he was a goner. It had been so damn long since he had felt this way about anyone, and he had absolutely no clue how to handle it. He knew he had probably messed it up from the start, but he couldn’t stay away from you.

That being said, this wasn’t what you guys did. Feelings. Emotions. Communication.

No, you screamed at each other, and then you fucked each others brains out.

He had never seen you cry, not like this. And he hated it.

“Get your fucking shit together, Barnes.” He thought to himself as he raised up his fist, knocking on your door.

“Y/N?”

When he didn’t hear an answer, he leaned his ear closer to your door.

Hearing the distant sound of water running, and your wavering little sobs echoing against the walls of your shower.

Ok screw this.

He opened your door and walked straight to your bathroom, hesitant for only a second before he slowly turned the doorknob.

You had your back towards the door, running your fingers through your wet hair as you calmed your breathing, when you noticed a presence.

“Go away.” You said, not even needing to turn around to know it was Bucky.

But he didn’t listen. He slid off his boxers, and joined you underneath the steaming hot water.

The feeling of his bare chest pressed against your bruised back made you suppress a sigh.

“If you’ve come to laugh at me some more, I’m not in the mood.” You said, still facing away from him.

You felt his chest rise against your back as he took a deep breath. There was a second of silence between the two of you, before he finally spoke.

“Hearing those three perfect little words leave your perfect little mouth while feeling your fluttering pussy squeeze my cock, made me blow my load harder than I ever have before.” He said as he wrapped his arms around you, turning you around to finally face him.

He pushed you back against the tile covered shower wall. When he saw your puffy eyes stare up at him in confusion, he felt a tug at his heart.

“God you drive me crazy. In every possible way. And I am utterly and completely in love with you.” He stated.

Your mouth fell open and you felt your stomach flutter, unable to respond.

“I love how stubborn you are. I love the way you nibble on your bottom lip when you’re trying to focus on something. Or the way you frown your eyebrows when you’re mad at me. I love everything about you, and most of all, I love driving you as crazy as you drive me.” Bucky continued.

“There you go, feel free to laugh at me too.” He said.

You were baffled, having trouble believing those words truly just left Bucky Barnes’ mouth. You had absolutely no clue how to respond.

Bucky took your silence as a sign of rejection. A million thoughts crossing through his mind.

Did he just fuck up even more? Should he have given you space? Was that too much? What if you didn’t even mean what you said and it was just the orgasmic bliss talking? Oh god did he just ruin everything?

“I’ll just…uh….I’ll just go…now…I’m sorry I sho-…hmpf”

You cut off his nervous ramble with a bruising kiss. Surging forward as you latched yourself onto him.

Bucky moaned into the kiss, wrapping his arms around you and entangling in a heated make-out session.

When you finally pulled your lips away, it was for no other reason than a desperate need for oxygen.

You both heaved as you caught your breaths, still holding each other close.

“Not so bad for the kids department huh?” You teased.

“I’m sorry.” He said, sincerity and regret clear in his voice.

You leaned up and pressed a soft, sweet kiss against his lips.

“I love you.” You simply said.

“Yeah I guess I love you too, brat.”

Taglist;

@metalbuckaroo @princessayveke @montsepliego @scxrletrecsmarvel @hopelesslyrogers @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer @tfandtws @vicmc624 @ahahafudge @enchantedbarnes @wickedravyn @pono-pura-vida @amayaraestyles @matchat3a @fictional-hooman @sebastianexplicit @peaches1958 @avengersfan25 @jamneuromain @tryingtoliveonmywishes @mrsevans90 @daybreak96 @tiredqueen73 @fallingforunrealisticromance @identity2212 @randomweirdoss @ragamuffin285 @juliaorpll78 @geralts-yenn @imjusthereforliam @bangtanstoeart @squeezyvalkyrie @enchantedbytomandhenry @superduckmilkshake @kingliam2019 @bascmve01 @missgaygurl @foxyjwls007 @mollymal @urmomsgirlfriend1

#bucky barnes #bucky fluff #enemies to lovers #marvel smut #winter soldier #james buchanan barnes

[simmonsized]

🥑🌻🪐🥐☁️🎨 🧩 for Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

1. 🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

Probably the members of my Broblematic server (@outofstrings (bird and fae collectively, u may know of the Post-Cal ask blog), @future-geometries (Jess u are the first person I thought of) and definitely @alexharrier , who I think would probably hide me from the law even if I didn't explain the crime. I am not including beloved @chaton-katreal because I think she is too gentle, i would not want to muck up her life with murder!)

Or you know, my actual partner @notanotherdoodleblog probably LOL

All fantastic people, worth of hiding crimes.

2. 🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

Honestly most of my friends are pretty busy adulting 8( so we don't get to talk as much as I'd like to. @eggwyrt because our timezones are almost earth opposites. I love u!!!! I miss you!!

3. 🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

- I've got two real life best friends that I get together with and have coffee every weekend together, and sometimes do other things, and this is significant to me because adulthood makes it hard to keep friends, let alone see them.

- I got into the marine ecology lab at my school that I have been pushing for entrance into, despite missing a pre-req. I get to be on a boat for eight hours next quarter! Woohoo!

- I got fanart for a fic I am very proud of but very rarely interact with anybody about, which has boosted my confidence and made me feel really good, and each comment I've gotten since they posted the art has made my heart sing extra loud!

4. 🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh

Tbh I can't think of anything off the top of my head. My partner and I met through RVB, however, so we reference old seasons to each other fairly regularly, and I like to think we have a pretty good time c:

5. ☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

(i do not even like Simmons that much but it's a solid username and now is part of my brand. also I am classically a blue team girly lol)

6. 🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

This is an impossible task. Insurmountable, even. There are several!! Many!!! How can I pick one?? So I will list a few:

A. Everything anyone has ever drawn for my fanfics at all ever.

B. SPECIFICALLY everything @alexharrier has drawn for me, ever. Especially specially specially these two gifs which actually make me fucking insane every time I see them.

Honestly, this had me making sounds so incoherent only dogs could hear them, years ago when I did not consider my fic would be special to anyone. I really really really treasure them.

Also both my birthday gifts, Bro at Disneyland, and Bro at Home Depot 💕

C. This artwork for RNG chapter 66, from @101-sve . It is also special to me, and it's been my wallpaper on my phone ever since c: the atmosphere, the warmth, the halo of their hair i just... Yeah!!!!

D. Recent, probably familiar still, this Holy Fucking Shit Beautiful Atmospheric work of art for metempsychosis!!!! by @askinsufferableprickmod . I really actually cannot stop looking at it. It's so gorgeous, and honestly even if it had nothing to do with me I would still be in love with it. The concept of the kids are Gods, as beings outside the mortal world they made for themselves, all that is visible here, and I really really love it!

* I know all of these are things people have drawn for me, for my content, but honestly that is why they are my favorites! It is touching to see someone put heart into something that is related to something you, yourself, also put heart into!!! I love it!!!! I love these talented artists!!!!!

ALSO: we all know Theater of Coolty, but it is so beloved to me, I can recite it in my sleep lol.

7. 🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately

On top of the other reasons I said I don't like things, you do actually have to convince me 6 times outta 10 if you want me to read a Homestuck fic in the third person. There is just something to the flavor of 2nd person that hits different. There is a reason different perspectives exist, and I think they can all be utilized well, but something about that classic, well-patterned "you, and then you" just gets me, you know?

#this is a long one #lots of tagging people sorry lol #anyway i am having fun #writer ask meme

[frogmanfae]

LOCAL NEWSIES ANALYSIS

ACT I

Jack doesn't have timing

Finch: smash

Holy fuck medda is so

ARE YOU BLIND?!!! S-SHES GOT NO CLOTHES ON!!!!

Step aside *shoves Davey away*

When they ran away from Snyder they just ran off stage so we were robbed of the chase scene :( it would have looked silly on such a small stage tho

Holy fucking shit medda

Davey is casted so so perfect

Katherine is so sassy holy shit

Uh. Bottom line was. Um. yeah so the guy who played Pulitzer actually spoke most of his lines that were supposed to be sung (and when he did sing it was pretty clear WHY this was) but he was good acting wise

Bunson said that the newsies will have to sell 25 more papers to make the same amount, which is mathematically incorrect sir

When the strike first started, after the union JUST voted to make it official and Jack was hyping everyone up, Davey was standing off to the side taking deep breaths and tapping his fingers on his legs and doing a couple of grounding techniques my therapist gave me for panic attacks (holy shit his actor was so autistic and definitely had anxiety and he also graduated from my high school like 5 years ago which was wild to see him again)

Les doesn't just say "I have a pencil!" he said "I have a pencil AT HOME" which to me really emphasizes just how impoverished the other newsies are. Even the ones who have homes don't have simple items (such as pencils) in those homes. Les isn't the only one of them who happens to HAVE a pencil. He's the only one who OWNS a pencil.

I wanna write a medda origin story (random thought I had)

During Jack and Davey's little dance thing in WWK Jack turned the wrong way and Davey had to nudge him to turn facing the back instead of the audience

There was a newsie in the ensemble who was so fucking pissed the entire show, especially during WWK, he put everything he had into that it was crazy shout out to him

At the end of WWH, Katherine started typing really dramatically and it actually looked more like autistic hand flapping (which I kinda love)

Davey talks with his hands a lot

The first scab looked like he was forced into this (not the stabbing, the show) he didn't throw down his papers, he dropped them and went "I'm with you 😐" and walked off stage

When they're striking and then weisel and the delanceys interrupt their songs, they didn't all stop at the same time and the last one you heard was Davey stopping after everyone

The delanceys took crutchie's crutch and literally like sabbed him with it before they dragged him off

Crutchie yelled for Finch as he was being dragged away

When crutchie was taken, the stage was completely empty except for him and the delanceys

During Santa Fe Jack was hyperventilating and he fell to his knees on the first couple notes. When he stood back up he kept leaning and looking over the railing like he was going to jump.

After he hit the last note of Santa Fe, he fell to his hands and knees near the edge and started wailing until the house lights came on for intermission

Les was really good omfg and it's apparently his first show like he's SO good it's insane

I got a newspaper purse during intermission :DD

ACT II

After viewing the program, the actor for Crutchie's day job is a MAILMAN (modern day newsboy pretty much)

Finch was laying face down on the table the entire time before Katherine walked in at the start of act II, including for the delivery of his line, "why do old people talk?"

The tap dancing was pretty good actually

When Crutchie says "so far they ain't brung us no food... Ha. Ha." he laughed like "heheh"

The music cut out earlier than in the original during letter from the refuge (it didn't stop, it just paused after "your best friend" and didn't continue until after the guard yelled) so "your brother, crutchie" was completely acapella and I sobbed

When the guard yelled from off stage to tell crutchie to quiet down, crutchie got this look of absolute terror in his eyes and it was heartbreaking

"Even Horace Greeley moved back to new York" "*waves his hand around like he's in class and really wants to get called on* OOH OOH YEAH! YEAH HE DID! AND THEN HE DIED!!"

"Dave (angry)" "Jackie (excited)"

Davey sounded pretty similar to Ben Fankhauser negl

Spot conlon was tall :( but he was scrawny asf so we'll accept it

At the rally, all the newsies were chanting "Jack Jack Jack Jack-" and Davey came and yelled "NEWSIES OF NEW YORK" and one guy just went "Jack?" and someone shoved him. Davey didn't acknowledge it.

Jack didn't storm away after the rally, someone paraded right in to the center of the floor and handed him the money where everyone was sure to see him and someone went "t-traitor! Youre a traitor!" And then the stage cleared until it was only Jack and Davey under two different spotlights, both looking at each other like they were about to cry. Jack looked at Davey like he wanted nothing more than to run to him and explain everything and Davey looked at Jack like he wanted to throw up. (Sobbing)

Jack and Katherine only kissed once, when she was threatening to punch Jack. All of the other kisses were replaced by hugs and to me that is so much more personal.

Jack seemed to be on the verge of tears for the entirety of Something to Believe In, like all he'd ever had was Santa Fe, but now there's something- some*one* who cares about him and he's gripping so hard onto that. He hugged her so tight I could see the tension in his muscles from the audience.

"... Oh no 😩 I know a printing press he'd never think we'd use 😮‍💨"

"Hey, ah- um, Jack? It's uh... It's good to have you back..." "... Shut up *teeny tiny loving smile*" your honor they're in love

The newsies all came into the audience during once and for all and the girlsie standing at the end of my row was singing harmony and she slayed so hard shout out to her

"Did you read this?? 😡😡 These kids put put a pretty good paper🤬🤬"

"I can't lower the price of papers-" "goodbye. *deadass walks out*" I CACKLED THIS WAS HILARIOUS

"*pouty, over his shoulder because his back is faced to Pulitzer,his arms are crossed, and his shoulders are up to his ears* it's a compromise we can all live with😤🫣"

Davey didn't lose any clothing :( but he also started out dressed more or less the same as Jack was so.

Katherine was blonde, which felt note worthy for some reason

Everyone cheered for medda the loudest during curtain call she was so fucking good

Davey kept stuttering throughout the show and at times it seemed like he was almost trying (and lowkey failing) to cover an accent of some kind but I know that his actor has an American accent because he and I are from the same town, which really feeds into my immigrant Davey hc

I can't get over how good Les was he's gonna grow up to be a star

Over all, this show was really fucking good

Also seriously, Medda. Girl if there's anyway you're reading this what on earth are you doing in the middle of fuck nowhere Pennsylvania?? I don't see many local actors who I believe can make it on Broadway, but you, you could thrive on Broadway.

Every one kept saying "San-ta Fe" and not "Sanna Fe" which felt note worthy

#i have no idea if this format makes any sense at all #my asks are open if you have any questions #or if you want me to expand on anything #or analyze more #because i will #newsies #local theater #david jacobs #jack kelly #davey jacobs #les jacobs #racetrack higgins #spot conlon #medda larkin #finch cortes #katherine plumber #katherine pulitzer #small show #local newsies #crutchie morris #the delancey brothers #warden snyder #the delivery of some of these lines was #hilarious #idk if my format makes sense here #but im too lazy to fix it #too eepy #so very eepy #it was really good tho #and everyone there seemed so nice too

[liquorisce]

What are some of your favorite fics? It doesn't have to be aot or something you've written

omg tysm for this question I love talking about my fav fics ESP BC SO MANY OF THEM ARE NON AOT 🙈🙈 I had to go to my ffn favs for this hihi

so this is list is home to the fics that I have truly idolised, read repeatedly and tried to emulate in some way or another in my own writing journey:

1. Heartbeat by letmeannoyyoutoday. U must have heard me screaming about this fic before. It is god tier, the angstiest, the most painful Sasusaku you can imagine. There isn’t even smut in it but still I’m rendered a sobbing mess everytime I read this story. And I read it every fortnight or so, I swear. canonverse. sasusaku get married.

2. The most dangerous things by Childoftheashes. Man this fic is the tastiest thing in the ichihime fandom istg. Ichigo is unapologetically horny and bossy and slutty and I love everything about it. Orihime is absolutely clueless and drives him up a wall and it’s literally completely smut! This author is one of my smut senseis. I also really love "chasing paper tigers like dreams" by her.

3. Sometimes I think the stupidest things by starsinew. Ok I’m sorry for putting this here bc this user doesn’t have this fic up anymore (I managed to find the epub and thank fuck for that) but I had to talk about it bc this fic changed me on a fundamental level. I fell in love with it so much, even to this day I look back at it with an education lens as to how to write smut. God tier. I hope this author is well and living their best life.

4. Friends with Benefits by confused panda bear. Syaosaku, card captor Sakura. Again a story that doesn’t exist anymore online but I still remember some of the dialogues bc they were so iconic. Definitely a primer on smut writing for me. I invite you to check out their other stories tho they’re literally the harugou mother, birthing the most insane crackship in the free! fandom and getting everyone else drunk on it thanks to their god tier writing.

5. Clarity by randomteenager — angsty but silly gruvia. i love it so much.

6. Seeking Ginny by Casca. Harry/Ginny fic with heavy emphasis on Ginny's personal growth.

7. How to Coexist by Spoilerarlert and also washed up and rundown, I haven't finished it yet but fuck its amazing so far. Both are modern AU stories, one in NYC and the other in Chicago. I can't recommend this author enough, they have a very original and compelling style of writing.

8. Little Beast by herblacktights. This is my fav modern au, high school eremika. If you haven't heard me raving me about this fic already then ur obviously new here. ITS AWESOME! go read it now

9. Dog by Ackermom. floch x eren at it's unhealthiest best. canonverse. This author is one my favs actually, I devour ALL of her work, no exception. I also really enjoyed her reibert fics.

10. Icarus & I by bluinary. Armin-centric. Modern AU. I read this many years ago but I think of it often. I loved Armin's journey in this fic.

11. Three Days by Lotos-Eater. Canonverse. An angsty smutty Shikatema fic where Shikamaru thinks he's lost her.

12. For everything there is a season by SouthSideStory. If y'all are sasusaku stans then you know SouthSideStory already. She's phenomenal. This one is angsty sequel which delves into Sakura's feelings post miscarriage. I highly recommend the prequel as well.

13. Fool for you by Hand of Destiny. Syaosaku. Card Captor Sakura. Syaoran is a business mogul from a very traditional Chinese family. Sakura is an innocent girl who decides to try giving the escort profession a go. God tier, I swear. It also has a sequel!

14. lost girl & found boy. eremika. lost girls-verse. mikasa wants to know how babies are made, etc. cw: teen pregnancy.

15. all you want by senlinyu. i just binged this yesterday. holy shit. it's the big daddy of m/f omegaverse fics, I swear. dramione. canonverse + omegaverse. really really good!!!

ty for the question <3

#anonymous conversations #fic recs

[crowtrobotx]

I need to rant about my FIL again.

This man stated multiple times that he “just needed a place to crash at night” and that we “wouldn’t even know” he was here because he was going to be out all day and would only reappear to basically go to bed. We told him that we had a lot going on this weekend both individually and together (which is true!) and wouldn’t be available to hang out/entertain him etc. which he indicated he understood and wasn’t bothered by.

Yesterday I (a morning person, regrettably) woke up and went downstairs at about 7 to relax and have breakfast and just enjoy some quiet time before having to go and set up and teach my class. This motherfucker came downstairs literal SECONDS after he heard me get up and followed me around as I’m trying to get dressed/put on makeup etc. asking me the most boring, asinine questions about “oh so how did you get into crochet” “my grandma used to crochet” “how many students do you have” “you know one time I did cross stitch in elementary school” HOOOLY SHIT. I ended up leaving without breakfast about an hour earlier than I needed to (my workplace/teaching spot is 5 min from my house) because I couldn’t deal with him on top of all the usual pre-class anxiety.

Taught class, came home ready to enjoy some lunch and relaxation time and go to a local event with my partner…. I see this man’s car still parked in front of my house. It is 12:30pm at this point. I come in and he’s just sitting on our desktop computer doing god knows what while my partner is sitting there looking like he wants to die.

Partner follows me upstairs and proceeds to tell me FIL “doesn’t really have plans” today and keeps implying he wants to come with us on our outing we had planned weeks ago. Fuck. No.

We got my brother in law to invite the guy out for lunch elsewhere to buy us some time but he still just sat around the house until after 2pm before actually leaving. We went out but he was back a couple of hours later and just SAT in our living room doing nothing but impeding us until he went to bed. Did I mention he nonstop guilt trips my partner about how he’s “gonna die soon” (this has been going on for years and nothing is wrong with him that we’re aware of. He’s not even 70.) and is totally hyper fixated on the most morbid shit??? My partner apparently tried to assuage him by inviting him to go out to dinner, just the two of them, and FIL was just like “nah.” 😵‍💫

Y’all. He doesn’t leave until Tuesday.

Today we have an honest to god thing we have to go to out of town so he’s gotta be gone by 11 or so and we will not be back until the evening but I still want to scream. I am so thankful I can leave for work Monday and Tuesday and have time away from this guy trying to insert himself into our plans and just generally making it impossible to relax in my own house.

I just. I’m not stupid. I know this is some cry for attention from his son and maybe me to some extent. But instead of flat out asking and PLANNING something, he shows up to our house from Idaho with zero notice and tries to squirm into our schedule. My partner is neurodivergent to some extent (he is functional and doesn’t care for a dx which I support if that’s what he wants) and is admittedly pretty bad at socializing and maintaining relationships long term if the person isn’t physically present in his life all the time and he really could do a better job of dealing with him but I also can’t blame him for not wanting to have this dude talking to him all the damn time! FIL’s wife left him explicitly because he never did anything or went anywhere, never had relationships outside of her, and was so flat and emotionless that it made her insane. And holy shit do I get it! This is agony!

I’m just… so tired. I’ve had so much going on and my anxiety has been a real bitch lately. The last thing I needed was someone invading my privacy and limited free time like this.

Again, this is a man who moved across the country with zero notice and then was mad everyone didn’t fly out to visit him. It’s manipulative at worst and straight up stupid at best. I already told my partner we are not doing this shit again and hosting him in the future, which maybe sounds insane considering he hasn’t “done” anything aside from being annoying but this is purely the latest in a long line of obnoxious behaviors that I am too old to deal with anymore.

#I have endless stories I could tell about him being miserable to be around #literally a decade of watching this man deliberately avoid everyone and then meltdown 2x a year about how he’s lonely. #like how do you think that happened Brian. how do you think this came to be.

[edgiestdude]

New post since 2 months. This blog is basically dead.

How do I start? Well a long time ago I was a RWBY fan. I found this series after watching Camp camp and Nomad of nowhere. During this time I was craving more Roosterteeth content, so I checked out RWBY.

Okay I'm going to share my over all thoughts about this since there's either this one side or the other. It was an alright show. It wasn't one of the best things I've seen since Samurai Champloo nor was it the worst thing like Velma or the amazing Bulk. See I have a very high yet low standard due to me liking shows for story and such, but I also know that there's always a bigger fish when it comes to terrible quality (there's a literal movie called selfie man).

RWBY was kind of mid (not in meaning terrible just somewhere in the middle) because where there was things l liked about it (the story is ok, I like some of the characters, and the setting) there was things that kind of brought it down (Volume 5, thanks grey, some voice lines [Blakes “I run away too much” line], some weird story elements like Hazel wanting to get revenge on Ozpin, yet siding with Salem [though one can argue that Salem brainwashed him or somethin] and Cinder herself [ love her design though; especially her Vol 1-3 outfit]).

I guess I’m just spouting all this shit because… I’ve grown distant so far from this show and fanbase. I hardly ever check on the show and the fanbase then when I used to. Nowadays I just brainstorm these ideas for numerous story’s and literally spend all day doing school work, watching films and anime, and, sometimes, even researching stuff for my story’s lodged in my brain (don’t know if that’s weird).

I guess I’m not into the show anymore. And I guess since the shows not appealing anymore, I might as well consider this a farewell to the community. Y’all was probably the most interesting fandom I’ve ever been in (and that’s cause I was in the undertale fandom at one point)

This fandom was a wild tornado of drama and shit like holy fuck. I know in the past I’ve repeated the line “I’m gonna leave this show because of the fandom”, which kind of sounds whiny to me now. Yet I never left. For some reason this show had a special dedication in my heart which is why I made this blog to begin with. To criticize those who make dumb takes and such. I know at one point I was gonna make a post about ironwood (though considering I’m writing this that seems unlikely).

I guess ,in the long run, I wanna say… thanks for making me a member of this fandom for at least a year and a half. It was an interesting ride with y’all in the fandom. For those still watching the show, I hope you keep enjoying it the way you do. And as for the insane RWBY critics and RWDE, y’all need to calm the fuck down. Seriously RWBYs far from being a god awful show ( I’ve seen worst).

Anyway, I wish y’all a farewell. Oh and I’m barely writing this right now so sorry for any mistakes I made.

#rwby #rwby fandom #farewell #thanks for the experience

[skinks]

I got tagged by @rockcandyshrike to do a wee music meme post and I’m gonna follow her example and do my top 10 most RECENT repeated songs because that’s more interesting than just my top 10 repeated songs. gives it a lil summer snapshot. I find that I mostly listen to metal and prog in the winter whereas as soon as the sun is actually warm I remember funk and classical exists lmao

1. Breakwater - Release the Beast

However hard you might imagine this song goes, you’re not ready for it!!! Heard this for the first time before the Coheed show the other night, immediately recognised a part of it being the origin sample for the entire daft punk song “robot rock”. This is so insanely good, and my discovery of it coinciding with actual summer weather means I’ve been blasting it while driving around with my windows down nonstop lmao. You’re welcome fellow citizens. The beast is fucking released

2. Bilmuri - BOUTTA CASHEW

Just because it’s summer doesn’t mean I stop listening to metal and post-hxc… Bilmuri have never failed me except for the fact that they never tour the UK. The danciest tongue-in-cheek bangers this side of dance gavin dance

3. Halogen - U Got That

SPEAKING OF DANCE!! Who among us can resist a house drop when it’s this chonky. I heard this on a tiktok meme shared to tumblr that I had to do like 3 levels of googling to understand because I’m an old woman. But this song makes me actually want to go to a club for the second time ever in my crone life

4. Caroline Polachek - Caroline Shut Up

I had heard a snippet of one of her songs ages ago and it didn’t wow me, but I gave her new album a try and holy moly!! Really interesting acrobatic vocals plus lush dense intricate dramatic varied production… im in love. Even though this is actually from her first album, it’s the best example of what I like about her stuff. She’s like a mix of Bjork and 90s Madonna and Enya and Imogen Heap. And brother I’m nothing if not a Heaphead. Caroline pls come to Scotland

5. Maria Callas - O Mio Babbino Caro

I got this song stuck in my head and of course it’s so hard to sing along to a soprano aria, but I specifically love this Callas version because the way she really takes her time with the phrasing emphasises the longing of it and it makes me cry

6. bel canto - A Shoulder to the Wheel

Recently discovered there’s a name for an artistic aesthetic I have VIVID memory and nostalgia for from the mid-late 90s - the name of the aesthetic is Global Village Coffeehouse. I found a 50 hour gvc playlist on spotify and have been finding banging new music one of which is this song!! I love the propulsive synths and drums and the DRAMA… let it wash over u

7. Chris Rea - On The Beach

It’s got to be this specific single version not the slower album one! My whole life I only knew Rea as the singer of a pretty great xmas song until this April when my beloved pal added this to our Highland roadtrip playlist. If this doesn’t get you feeling like a neon-soaked sweaty lounge-lizard having a hallucinatory tango under a palm tree with a sexy extra from Miami Vice idk what will

8. Aviations - Coma

Is it really a joe skinks music post if there’s not a 10 minute prog metal song………….

I’m hoping their last two singles this year mean we have an imminent album incoming and it’s gonna SLAP as hard as the rest of their output! Aviations embody everything I love most and seek out in my prog metal; super agile clean AND harsh vocals interacting with the extreme amount of syncopation and intricacy in the instrumental arrangements. Aviations use piano in their compositions better than any other prog band I enjoy. I mean listen to this shit it’s beautiful

9. Stereophonics - Pick A Part That’s New

I had a really fun time making a playlist of songs I remember my parents always playing in my childhood, it’s full of a lot of 90s soul and electronic music and also this… whiny britpop. But it surprised me how much fantastic whiny britpop there is

10. Sumerlands - Force of a Storm

My brother introduced me to this album and it truly fucks how much they sound like an old-school Heavy Metal band while being fully contemporary. Like they truly sound like Sabbath or Iron Maiden but with modern production sensibilities. I LOVE the strength of this guy’s voice. Like if this doesn’t make you feel like a barbarian riding a winged steed and brandishing a massive sword against a dragon drawn by Frank Frazetta idk what will. Can u tell fantasising is how I process music

I will tag @shrikestrike @acuzena @lungtile @kitsune-sam @wordssometimesfail @kelsey-arts @erebones and whomstever else wants to… of course nobody has to if they don’t want

[loveofastarvingdog]

As someone who’s read a lot of destiel fics over the years, which fics are so good they changed you in some (big/small) way?

ohhh this is a marvelous ask! so much to think about! that said, my memory is sucky at the best of times so this might be a short list.

1. twist and shout.

yeah yeah yeah, i know! thee classic destiel fic years ago… but the thing was, i read it at a time in my life when i was really struggling to see any redemption in being gay. i hadn’t even begun to question if *i* was queer yet, let alone my gender or anything past that. at that point in my life i was a cishet kid raised in an extremely homophobic environment, and here was a fic that showed these two people — these two men — so entirely human, so entirely in love. each chapter changed me individually, and even the ending hurt in an aching, caring way. yeah, i read it way before it was healthy for me to, and it was bad for me in a few ways for how young i was paired with how sheltered i had been, but it also touched a part of me that i didn’t even know existed at the time. saying that love existed, and that even when it hurts it can be beautiful. not trying to wax poetic, and i haven’t read it in a few years, but it did affect me pretty deeply and i’ll always think of it fondly. (also the one time i made my older sibling cry just by describing the story as a hetero romance)

2. the usual by thatoneguy35 on wattpad.

i don’t know if it ever got finished but it was so cute at the time and i still think about the kiss in the snow <3 the domesticity and simplicity… i can’t even describe it, or why it meant so much to me, but i do adore it. i might search it out again actually.

3. cheapest room in the house by biggaybenny (aka skepticalfrog)

another (more recent) absolute CLASSIC. deals with the depth and layers of dean without a lot of the gaudiness in his history some people include, if that makes sense. skrog’s characters are so human, in their joy and their pain and their lives. castiel is allowed anger and dean’s grief is so real, and on top of that it has one of the best depictions of jack and dean’s relationship in a way that honestly fucked me up in a good way. ALSO the way it acknowledges the complicated way you can love your father even when it’s fucked up… it’s written so lovingly and portrays queerness as something important, but also something that doesn’t need to be taken So Seriously that all humour is sucked out. also i am personally someone who enjoys eating mashed potatoes with my hands That Scene is delightful to me.

4. untitled fic by my irl friend

so at the time that i started reading more spn fic, i got one of my friends to actually watch the show. she ended up writing a super sweet fic in a scrappy notebook and had me read it and basically beta it. the fic itself didn’t impact me so much as the warm intimacy that came with her watching my face so intently as i read over the pages, the way i got to see the characters through her eyes, her fondness for the show. it was so much fun and had the most scrumptious twist when it started getting close to the end. she never finished it but it was so much fun to read through it with her :)

5. the bluebells blush when they sing by fleeceframe (aka tasteslikevelvet)

read this a week or so ago and it gave me the most glorious night of feeling something holy in being trans and queer. the way she handles gender and gender expression, the way she just. Understands cas and dean’s relationship… also such a genuine cas pov!!!!!!!! it switches between them in a seamless and marvelously done way, and it is just simply. one of the loveliest fics i’ve ever read.

6. oh my darling by @pinknatural

a HUGE reason i am currently working on my peach fic. the love and the subtle ways of showing it, the simple task of caring for other people… it makes me feel insane in the best of ways. i think about it whenever i eat an orange or a cutie and it makes me smile <3 also…… cas <3

there are so many more that i think about regularly, and that have impacted me deeply, but if i could remember and list them all then we’d be here for a very long time. here’s some of the ones off the top of my head though, and if you haven’t read them i hope you do!!!!

#fic rec #ask and ye shall receive / knock and the door shall be opened #fells tag🍒📬

[narwhalandchill]

FINALLY FINISHED 4.1 AQ!!!!! (General thoughts also Lot of childe thoughts + 4.1 spoilers obvi and 4.2 leaks warning, LONG)

ok OK OK that was actually insane holy fuck. i was mad initially when childe lacking voicelines in 4.1 leaked but like bro was Still a central character im cool! im cool! keep it up in 4.2!!!!

FIRSTLY. i was fucking right i KNEW the oratrice was ALWAYS onto childe being connected to the primordial sea through 'it' GOD the sheer fucking amount of "theories" i saw that were like oh its all just arlecchinos machinations nothing abyssal whale is an easter egg (?) childes poor mood is bc hes drugged with sinthe by arle (??????) etc etc etc. eat my fucking ass. i saw this shit coming YEARS ago i knew i fucking knew.

honestly its just like my dearest ajax to minmax his K/D ratio to the point that he becomes the murder weapon to a case that started when he was like 5 like what a legend. he is so talented. 🥰🥰🥰🥰

im still highkey on the copium camp that the leaked humanoid phase of the ptahur fight wouldnt literally be childe tho. unironically mostly bc i think its simply a crime against him to let foul legacys visual design AND ptahurs whale design serve cunt that hard only to do the ugliest most generic possible rectangle shaped dark armor guy for A Boss Fight. Like cmon. the purple cyclops look with the flowing galaxy cape and fluffy collar was The Shit. give us extra galaxy effect pastel purple water-y polar star motif-y foul legacy design for childes magical girl powerup not That. tho if childes only gonna look ugly before he asserts his claim over the whales power and then gets a cunty powerup then all is forgiven 🥰

AND WE SAW THE WHALE I WAS LITERALLY GIDDY WATCHING THE CUTSCENE. knew it was coming bc i spoiled myself on purpose by watching it on yt i Had to see it but. ITS SO GOOD. God. and then 4.2 we will fight them both??? & the boss title is "devourer of the stars"???? like its so fucking abysspilled and real i feel like a starving middle ages peasant being fed from the royal banquet table ive waited SO LONG. foul legacy is called devouring deep and 'it' is Litetally titled devourer. this isnt a fucking coincidenceee im in love . WILF i said what i said

anyway i do agree that in terms of lore implications i dont think its unrealistic at all for it and its will to overwhelm ajax temporarily like that thing is the devourer of stars which. Might i remind people literally means devouring fate in the world of genshin and constellations. a world ending entity. but also at the same time this might be me being insane and abysspilled (always looking for a reason for apologism yk) but like. theres no direct confirmation either way whether ptahurs intentions with childe are really malicious at all. he awakened it, theyre linked and its calling for him and sure thats bad for fontainians' projected life expectancy but we cant assume much else. i mean childe was in the deep sea he might be snezhnayan so immune to anti french bathwater but bro couldve been drowning maybe the whale helped out a pal. and the music in the cutscene was more wonder than terror too? fanon guys are just coping bc they dont want childe to get worse when thats just much sexier Trust (she says, overtaken by constant paranoia that somehow theyll pull a 180 and damsel-ify him with no actual narrative weight or satisfaction for his arc ahahaha)

(but like me when i havent read tusk of monoceros caeli item desc and understood that the all-devouring desire to crush everything in his path like the solipsism represented by the image of a whale cruising through the celestial heights is very explicitly stated to be a part of himself childe chooses to gleefully embrace do not fucking try me you illiterates. sorry i got emotional for a sec back to 4.1)

AND LIKE NO I DID NOT MISS THAT NEUVILLETTE DID NEVER IN FACT CLAIM PTAHURS SENTENCE UPON FONTAINE WAS UNJUSTIFIED. JUST THAT IT WAS TOO HARSH. so like listen listen listen. (pulls up my abyss is justified the gods are false the sky is fake so bringing ruin upon the world in the greatest sin against an artificial system is actually making the sinner the one delivering heavenly justice---- conspiracy whiteboard) ANYWAY point is childe tartaglia ajax should get to torch celestia and im going to kiss him on the mouth when he does. No one @ me. but actually neuvillette genuinely APOLOGIZED for overturning ptahurs authority to deliver its sentence. im gonna read into this so hard it might be reaching but who am i if not behaving down bad horrendously about the abyss and the prospect of a cosmic eldritch entity shattering celestias world order into pieces,?? this is my Brand

act III has so much hate but i thought it was fine SJSJSKSJFKFIDKFK it did what it set out to do and it certainly isnt as interesting as act IV but it did So much of the foundational work for the next act and managed to work well enough. it got a bit repetitive so like no it wasnt perfect at all but idk when u go in with the right mindset its perfectly competent. but i can see it feel horrible when u Really just wanna get to the action parts so like its fine if ppl dislike it jsjajsk not too pressed either way

anyway i find it so cute how many people are reacting to travelers dreams of childes pov as this like omg theyre in sync and not like. An explicit confirmation that visions are mass surveillance tools p much 💀💀💀💀 like its not even ON HIM and he can still be tracked how is this endearing im so lost JSFFJSJSJ

honestly beyond the obvious childe brainrot its hard to even go off about just any specific character bc EVERYONE got it so good. chlorinde dodged the sara allegations im SO fucking happy for her!!! even if it wasnt that much its already far off from that travesty!!! her and wrios dynamic is so fucking funny i adore them and wasnt expecting it at all.

wrio is fucking GREAT! i absolutely lived for every single line of dialogue he had like mans literally the funniest person in fontaine. silver powercreep. but not just that bc hes actually so fucking good and interesting and intriguing and i loved the overall role he played. the whole power play he did w lyney and that entire confrontation played so well with both his and lyneys character im just. this was a certified banger. the house of hearth sibs were all great and lyneys characterization had So much depth and nuance i really liked the way he wasnt dropping his and lynettes backstory in 4.0 just to trauma dump but that it was all actual setup for his minor/major breakdown during act IV and that payoff was so worth it!!! arle chiding him for his pride too. listen to your dad lyney.

speaking of Whom.

oh my god oh my god arle arle arle. this woman had me actually fucking blushing like. Her ENERGY. The Poise. the Threat. the Pressure. the veneer of perfectly conducted civil friendliness that feels more threatening than if she just put a knife to my neck (which. she could. id thank her)??? how shes genuinely LIVID at furina and about the prophecy and just kept pressing at her?????? no woman in this goddamn game has had an effect like this on me i feel so weak im such a fucking dyke oh my god. HER VOICE. HER FUCKING VOICE. EVERY SENTENCE OUT OF HER MOUTH I WAS EATING IT UP. that like. idk how to even call it that like dry breathy quality to her voice is just?????? i was transfixed i was obsessed i was hypnotized.

and ofc she didnt really gaf about childe much SJAJSKSJFKSKSKDKD but like unironically funniest fucking mental image from this AQ was the concept of if arlecchino ever somehow got arrested in another nation CHILDE would be her attorney like. 😭😭😭😭😭😭 HELP (logically ik he would do fine lmao hes smart and literally feeds his ego by being good at his job you guys are just so fucking rude comparing him to 6d chess zhongli in liyue AQ. thats zhongli being too galaxy brain not anyone else being dumb)

honestly i love love love this fucked up strict but seemingly truly genuine in her own fucked up way parental figure that she appears to be?? like this isnt redeeming her this is making her interesting as fuck and i do love that. the fact that shes generally very reasonable and collected but that you can just Feel the danger lurking underneath is literally So attractive i might keel over.

and like FINALLY a nation where its not all the fatuis fault!!! well it is all childes fault (so proud of him. thats my man!!) but you get what i mean GSJSKDK. arlecchino actually offering up her cooperation at the end just feels so refreshing and nice like ahhh. feels good feels organic.

so. neuvillette is the reincarnated hydro sovereign. whos surprised. (silence) yeah fucking thought so. honestly neuvi was both incredibly interesting and good but also his clueless moments of not picking up on jokes and banter are So autistic like if i hadnt already pulled him by the point i started doing act IV i wouldve the second he started sharing his autism diagnosis with us. so like im ecstatic to have him both on my main and NA alt actually.

ALSO. Confirmed that gnoses are based on stolen authority from the sovereigns. as a scalie enthusiast i Always had a hunch sth like this was up but having it confirmed is fucking excellent. and like it feels very much like furina/focalors (r they separate ppl or not? Huh?? is the gnosis in the oratrice?) r gonna allow neuvillette to tackle the bathwater problem by surrendering the authority over hydro back to its rightful heir n thats prolly gonna be a part of how fontaine dodges the prophecy. but its still very hmmmmmm

sigewinnes traitor moment actually caught me off guard it was SO funny. like she was actually fooling us i loved that. sure she always had good intentions and everything but still iconic. in general just how wrio and gang outplayed us in the fortress of merupide was great like it just really emphasizes how bro Runs the place for real for real and it was excellent. the massive ship was kind of out of left field tho. inb4 ptahur just crushes that thing anyway lmaooooo

theres probably more still but uh this is already too long JSJSKSKDK anyway yes i did enjoy acts III and IV very much how did you notice. sorry for the length of this crazed frenzy but not sorry actually. it feels so nice to get fed finally. im so hype for 4.2.

edit: wait i forgor furina. honestly im not gonna lie i was too mesmerized by arlecchino to pay that much attention to her so sorry about that but like GAJSKDJDKDK she was great too!!!

#rambles #genshin

[malevolententity]

PROJECT 14!! I TOOK A BREAK FROM PATTERNING RICHAS!!

oh boy!! this took all of quarentena part 1 to make!! its been a few years since i made anything mesh so whipping up this hat in? what 5 and a half hours? maybe 6? i have not checked the vod time and i was also Cooking Dinner during a portion of it so time is hard to judge on how long this actually took. but it was fun! it Did reawaken my urge to crochet a mesh shirt even tho i would never wear it because it would be so uncomfortable. but making mesh is just so very mindless in a way thats good for me. maybe i should make a mesh blanket to scratch that itch.

we have an array of models for this item! to try and show off the mesh say hello to the bobby i made back in? oh the beginning of april i believe? i dont think any of you have actually seen bobby he might have been a twitter exclusive, say hi to bobby. we also have green garlic my bulbasaur showing off the mesh the best i believe!

QUARENTENA SEASON THOUGHTS! YES I AM CALLING IT A SEASON THERES GONNA BE 2 EPS. SEASON 1 ONLY HAD 3 EPS. THIS TOO CAN BE A SEASON!

i am blown away by how fun this group is and the skills they all have to roleplay in a second or third language for like 6 hours with basically no breaks to speak their natural languages. that is taxing to do and to deliver a story on top of that? i am so proud and impressed with all of them. also holy shit????????? no one fucking died???? i was convinced when the oneshot, now season, was announced that it was going to be a dungeon crawl that ends in everyone dying. i cant believe theyre all still alive after that?? AND THEN THERES ANOTHER EPISODE IRL NEXT WEEK?? i cant wait for the tpk next week!

i love this entire cast of characters theyre all such weird fucking guys in the most complimentary ways. I LOVE THAT WE BASICALLY GOT A SAW MOVIE??? THRIVING!! in a move that shall surprise no one. diego is my favorite. look at him. he is guy of all time to me. BUT OKAY THEYRE ALL WEIRD and usually when you have a cast of weirdos theres always someone who doesnt gel but they all did!! they all fought each other!!! but they all still complimented each others insanity and. this is what the party comp is To Me

i am too lazy to open photoshot for this tonight. maybe you get it proper tomorrow<3

i loved the ending. i loved the slow realization on everyones faces that in saving themselves they might be killing the world and still themselves!!!! also i cant wait to see the fall out next week. i am so fucking upset my dnd game is scheduled for around the same time so i am going to miss probably the first 2ish hours but i know my dash and the official!!!! twitter updates account!!! will catch me up on those two hours so i can jump back in. but AAAA oh i loved this. i dont know if it was on purpose that this felt like a zero escape game at times but oh man the production quality in this vs where m at in season 2 is just mind blowing. i knew it got better once they started being in the studio but this was so great for a home game. ALSO YALL GO CHECK ON AMY??? GO GET THE KID??? YOU CANT JUST LEAVE THE TRAUMATIZED BABY ALONE AFTER EVERYTHING U DID TO KEEP HER ALIVE??? GO GET HER?????

AND ALSO?? STUDIO NEXT WEEK?? BRAZIL MEETUP??? OH I AM SO PLEASED TO SEE IT ALL AND WHAT HAPPENS. this is def my longest update for this silly crochet project i started just a few months ago and i apologize but also. i dont because this show does mean so much more to me than i know how to put into words. and its been a long time since i fell in love with a tabletop universe this quickly. and i feel so grateful that i got to be introduced to this ttrpg earlier this year, and got to pull some friends into watching quarentena tonight because theyve heard me gushing about how good this universe is and how i trust this to be satisfying horror which is so hard to do in ttrpgs, but thats another post for another day.

#a ordem crochet #opq #<- mainly because i talk spoilers in this i dont usually fandom tag these posts since i am usually talking about a 3 year old campaign #who anyone who follows me either has seen it. or will not watch a show in ptbr so they dont care if i spoil #fiber art

[terramythos]

Top 5 favorite female characters? Top 5 books/movies/video games coming out in the future that you're excited for?

Thanks for the asks Wiz! 😘

Favorite Female Characters:

1. Akane Kurashiki from Zero Escape - surprising absolutely no one, she makes me go completely insane at all times and I've thought about her every day since I played 999 a decade ago. She is such a genuine surprise and a compelling character, there are so many layers and analyses one can have about her. Deception, narrative, fate, humanity vs godhood, thoughts shaping reality, etc etc etc. Blorbo In Chief.

2. Venat from Final Fantasy XIV - A very recent addition and I'm avoiding advanced story spoilers, but for a character that's technically introduced early but has the bulk of her development towards the end of Endwalker, I was very impressed with how well the writers pulled this character off. If you told me 2 years ago that she'd be on this list I'd call you a liar, but holy shit. They give her the coolest fucking cutscene in the entire game, no contest, which is in itself impressive, but her monologue and how it thematically connects to the story, lore, AND THEME SONG???? seals the deal. She also makes me go insane.

3. Midna from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess - I think Midna is one of the most complex and compelling characters in Zelda, I love her character growth and how her relationship with Link changes over the course of the game. She seems uncaring and cruel toward the beginning and grows more compassionate-- a well known arc, but I like how here it's a mix of facade and genuine growth. I think it's a damn shame they haven't explored Midna or the Twili in subsequent entries, I think she fully deserves to join the core three, triforce or no.

4. The Luidaeg from October Daye - God there are so many layers to this character. Her genuine tragedy, cruelty, and compassion are a highlight of the series and one of the things that keeps drawing me back in. Her different faces and relationships with each character and how that ties thematically to her protean nature... chef's kiss. She's a terrifying, vengeful force of nature older than time itself, but also a protector and guardian of the helpless, but also just a woman and mother who has been deeply wronged time and again. God I could go on for hours about her. She steals every scene she's in and I look forward to seeing her every book.

5. The Psychologist from The Southern Reach - I debated putting her here, but she is a fascinating example of narrative limitation. She goes from a stock villain in the first book (the biologist's interpretation), to an obsessive weirdo in the second book (Control's interpretation). In the third book we finally get her full story and perspective and learn what a fundamental character she is to the whole series. I find her fascinating in how much she shapes the narrative and events of the story despite being killed off early in the first book-- and just how wrong both the biologist and Control are about her.

Top Things I'm Excited For

1. System Collapse (next murderbot novel). I'm SO glad it's a full novel again, Network Effect was incredibe.

2. The "A Wonderful Life" remake for Story of Seasons. I liked the Friends of Mineral Town remake so I'm glad they're doing another one. I spent so much time playing this on the GameCube and was soooo disappointed when the PS2 special edition was such an unplayable mess.

3. Shadow and Bone Season 2. I was skeptical but really liked the first season and think they nailed the casting.

4. These Violent Delights (next October Daye). Boy did the last book reel me back in. I'm wondering whether the Maeve reveal is going to happen this book or not, I'm so excited for it.

5. ??? I'm sure there's a fifth thing but I can't think of what :3

#long post #heywizards #asks

[5lu7]

A game of: SMASH OR PASS, regarding my alters, in chronological order of their first appearance (that I remember)

(excluding littles… OBVIOUSLY)

1: ON THE BED, IN THE CAR, ON THE STAIRS, IN PUBLIC, IN PRIVATE, ON VIDEO, TOPPING, BOTTOMING, DOMMING, SUBBING, WHILE EATING, WHILE STARVING, WHILE DRUNK, WHILE SOBER, UNDER THE STARS, OVER THE TABLE, ETC ETC HE’S SO FUCKING HOTTTTTT

(though he’s absolutely the worst most toxic attachment in this list. He was an adult and I was like 13 when he took over my body forcefully, almost committed murder with it, and then raised me to be a soulless, unloveable bastard. He also violated me sexually at least once. I need him so bad though I need him so bad)

2: No. Pass. I was literally him under five years ago, I hate myself too much to fuck a dude who is essentially a different me, but is way more judgemental than me, way less chill than me, and even less morally sound. At least he was more ambitious and hopeful though!

3: Neither, she’s too ethereal and pure… I’d just stare at her in awe for three hours straight and then work up the courage to snuggle with her and weep while she pets my hair

4: Maybe? Idk my parents would definitely approve of him

5: Imagine doing the nasty with a robot xenomorph thing… (that means pass. I’m not like some of you absolute weirdos)

6: SMASHHHHHHH YES YES YES!!!!! (He’s the same dude as #1 at least 30% of the time due to merging, and when he’s not, he’s still really similar and he currently has the same face claim as #1 rn (Fugue Harvey Dent from Gotham Knights, episode 10 “Poison Pill”… **moans and arches back**), so SMASH. But I’d slap his face and spank him a LOT more and a LOT harder than #1 because he’s a lying piece of SHIT which annoys the hell out of me because I’m tryna figure out the truth of what caused all of this and I do NOT appreciate people who get between me and my goals, which is unfair because #1 is actually WAY worse and WAY more toxic)

7. SMASH!!! He’s spooky and kooky and I liked him a lot in the very short time we had together! Also his face claim was Christian Bale’s Gorr, so… (twirls hair and bites lip)

8: PASS PASS PASS she’s lovely I’m sure but that’s Jesus’s MOTHER I need to take a shower in holy water just thinking abt it…

9: Idk depends on which iteration of Barbie she is. If she looks like Margot Robbie then 100% SMASH

10: Pass… They weren’t unsexy per sé but they had 0% sexy energy and 100% emergency situation energy. Like a person sitting next to you under a desk in an active shooter situation telling you to shut tf up

11. PASS. She’s absolutely batshit insane and a cunt… Though I’d prolly hit her up if I was self-loathing and felt like I wanted to be genuinely abused and violated (/nonsexual, /nonhyperbolic)

BONUS!!!! THEORIZED ALTERS:

Theorized alter 1: wow PAAAAAAASSSSSS. I hope I never hear from him again. He makes me feel like absolute SHIT whenever he’s around and he NEVER shuts up!

Theorized alter 2: Hell no PASS I was him like less than nine months ago and he’s pathetic and erratic and insane. Like peak BPD behaviour but not in a tumblr sexy way. Just in a desperate train wreck way. Everyone was right abt him being cringe. Though I do feel bad for him because his behavior was a result of being in so much pain that he was literally being driven insane by it and had to go to the emergency room multiple times for actual physical health issues that literally manifested from the emotional pain itself. He felt like his organs were rotting and/or being lit on fire for like at least nine hours a day, and would do ANYTHING to try and avoid it, even if it meant being horrible and doing horrible shit to try and summon alter #1, who doesn’t feel emotional pain. He didn’t deserve allat he was just tryna succeed

Theorized alter 3: SMASH!!!! I’d be absolutely honored, I could only wish to be worthy of such a gift from his holiness! I suspect he’s prolly (based off of?) the same guy as #1 & #6, though I’ve never met him personally nor do I know much about him. He’s the alter at the top of the entire system hierarchy, I think.

And that’s all the (non-little) hoes in my brain I feel like putting in the effort to remember for this post, though I think I have more.