#it’s not because this blog is dying

[heartstopperthoughts]

#heartstopper #nick and charlie #nick x charlie #nick nelson #charlie spring #happy valentine's day #valentines day #I know I’ve been a bit MIA #but that’s just because I need to restock my queue #and have LITERALLY NO TIME #it’s not because this blog is dying #or my hyperfixation on Heartstopper #that’s still going strong 2 years later with no signs of stopping anytime soon #but I had to post something cute for V day #also can’t wait for more s2 content #even though this blog is more comic than show #I will be SCREAMING about the show as soon as things start up again #I’m thinking late July/early August?

[moeblob]

Ohiwe (lady) and Ohime (man) aka the fire deity after they get punished.

Originally just "Oh", the fire deity had a bit too much fun with punishing humans and so in a means to stop them, the elder gods split them into two. So now they have to be together in order to have their "full" power but as before the split, they get restless and like to wander. So while one stays in their city, the other gets to go out and travel and see the world and check on the other deities.

Also, as a whole/singular being Oh would use they/them. After the split however, it's definitely not the same and so Ohiwe likes using female pronouns and Ohime uses male pronouns. That way when discussed as one, it's back to they. That feels best for them.

#my characters #i posted the unified base version to my side blog but they arent very exciting it was just a lil doodle #however as i sit here waiting for my throbbing headache to go away im dying squirtle i figured id try to doodle #before i work on the comm and unfortunately my head still hurts so back to medicine i go #also also ohime is much more mild in his commentary where ohiwe is sharp and harsh #and ohiwe is definitely more fond of running the city than ohime but that also means she gets more restless quicker #so he unfortunately is stuck in the city more than she is because she needs to wander #she still does most of the planning as she wanders and then talks it over with ohime when she returns #i wanna make a funny joke about how they are indeed the last two brain cells type of thing #but also they are on the same wavelength almost all the time cause they started as the same person #but its always a bit of a jump in their logic to other people while they remain on the same page #like ohiwe says something and YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS #and everyone else is like no ??? but ohime is like WE HAVE TO TAKE A NAP #or something and ohiwe is like exactly ! glad one of you in the room knows whats up

[mel-loly]

-“He didn't die, he just respawned in a better place”

#techno's death has been very painful for everyone #including me.. #but one thing i learned was that “hope” is something that can never be lost #because techno showed how much he had hope that everything would be ok and that he would be able to beat cancer #and he may not have been able to win but that he was able to try and be brave in facing this problem #that's why his phrase “technoblade never dies” made the world see how much he wanted to be good and a great minecraft player without dying #as in this case #without losing hope.. #and he did it #he proved himself strong #and he was good at everything he did and everything he tried to do.. #so don't be sad #and so honor his death by living with hope and courage like he wanted to see in you and in everyone.. #c!technoblade #tw death #technoblade #technoblade fanart #art #i'm mel and this is my blog✌️ #my art #my art <3 #my art blog #art mel #my art style #fanart #my art owo #tw cancer #mcyt #rest in peace

[every-sanji]

#one piece #sanji #black leg sanji #everysanji #thriller bark #ch443 #dont take this in like. any sort of serious way but i do sometimes think about how like #i could die suddenly and you guys wouldnt have any idea because i keep the queue filled up so much #as of queuing this post i have 118 posts ahead of it #i could die tomorrow and it would be mid-late february before the queue ran out #without any sort of notice or anything and all that would be left of me is.... well my blogs ig online #again i'm not planning on dying its just smth i think about with internet presences like #i will live on a little bit longer to you guys bc of the queue prolonging all these things #but in the end its all the same #anyway.... happy valentine's day or whatever? im not entirely sure when this will post like i said #118 posts ahead of this in the queue when i'm making this post its hard to think that far ahead

[opera-ghost]

me laughing at the same jokes i’ve heard 1000 times every time i listen to/watch a recording of phantom

#and i swear it gets funnier every time! #was dying while listening to an audio today #(it was specifically nehal joshi during the il muto ballet) #(i could not stop laughing and i couldn’t even SEE him it was just his delivery) #(ugh he’s so funny i love him) #poto shitpost #also side note im about to go on a tangent #but my phantom hyperfixation runs so deep and i have so many thoughts about it #i have at least 100 posts in my drafts about it and i’m not exaggerating #they’re mostly silly memes but it’s still like an overload of posts about phantom #and i’m like. insecure about how much i think about it???? and how much of my headspace i dedicate to it???? #so i keep the bulk of the memes/random posts in my drafts because i just feel weird about posting so much #i really could post about it 24/7 if i didn’t have to be a Person with Tasks #and idk i think im just hyper-aware of how i present my interests in daily life while offline #i am someone who hyperfixates and obsesses and while i could talk about phantom for years i am terrified of annoying people with my interest #i’m worried about being perceived as weird so i kind of flatten myself to make myself more palatable for others #which has me being insecure about the things i’m passionate about and how deep that passion runs #and these feelings have bled online to the specific space i have created as an outlet for my passion #like it’s my blog i shouldn’t be censoring my love for a thing that brings me joy #but my fear of being othered is like. overtaking me. because there are many things that i can’t change about myself #that categorize me as an ‘other’ (sexuality identity mental health etc) #and this is something i can control. i can control how i portray my personality #so i flatten my personality to compensate for the other (perceived) weird things that can’t be changed #idk i just shouldn’t feel the need to do that here bc pretty much everyone on here is super passionate about something #like obsessive about it #and that’s what i love about this site with all its faults. like this is a space for people to come and Be Weird and Act Strange #and everyone just accepts it #and also the phantom community in general #why should i water down my love for phantom in the one place where people can understand it and relate to it??? #hit the tag limit but i’ve come to multiple revelations while typing this lmao

[dollopheadsandclotpoles]

Legit can't believe it's been 10 years!?!? 10 motherfucking years!?!? I remember being so worried about the finale that in the week leading up to the airing I was having dreams about what was going to happen

#bbc merlin #merlin #actually I didn't even watch it on the day itself i was meant to watch it with the person who was then my best friend #and she kept delaying it till my sister was like FUCK IT we need to know what happens!! #and I was avoiding tumblr like the PLAGUE like I logged out of it because I had this exact blog #and I knew I'd be spoiled it if I came online #and a friend kinda spoiled arthur dying for me but I thought he was trolling because i did not believe they would actually kill him off #it's so weird to think how different my life was back then also like... fuck me!!! #i can't believe this show is such a big part of my life still!

[non-un-topo]

I think we need to talk more about the nuance of transition.

Specifically, the diversity of transition and the ways in which a person's gender and presentation can fluctuate and never reach an "end."

The first time I tried to get on T, I second-guessed and disappeared. Didn't answer calls from doctors, didn't reach out. I had seen an openly trans psychotherapist a few times as he was guiding me through the steps to accessing hormones. When he asked me when I started to feel "this way" about my gender, I answered that it had been fairly recent, maybe a few years. His response was that that was strange, because "most people figure it out when they hit puberty." Well, that shut me up and I haven't spoken to a therapist about transition since. It's clear to me now that he was approaching transness from a medical background. The medical model of course has not been a favourite of the trans community, myself included. It conceptualizes transness in terms of deficit, self-hatred, misery, and it envisions transition as an end.

This idea of end, of the reached destination, terrified me at twenty-three and it terrifies me now. How are twenty-three year olds, middle-schoolers, or kids approaching puberty, supposed to be able to envision their end, and to argue their case with such certainty if they want access to methods of transition? Where is the elbow room for change, evolution, and discovery, and even "mistakes"?

Many trans individuals, some colleagues of my own included, say they have always known who they are and what their gender is. This is the dominant trans narrative for a reason. I don't mean to discredit their words and their stories. It is not anyone's business to tell another person who they are or are not, and above all we should all continue to advocate for the voices of trans kids to be heard and honoured.

The philosophy of discovering who you "truly" are, of "finding" yourself, even of "cracking your egg" is starting to sound heavily Western and neoliberal. There is rarely a conversation about how our identities are changed by others, our environments, or by ourselves. Instead the dominant conversation around transition is centred in finding the true self. I criticize this philosophy because of its limitation. It is an end.

I recently joined a support group, and in the first meeting I attended my colleagues talked about finding their names, and about bridges. They shared stories of their own name decision-making processes, and how they used "temporary" new names as placeholders for their true names. A "bridge," they called it. I loved this sentiment. It spoke to the idea that gender and identity are more fluid than we are taught to believe, and I of course did this temporary name thing, too. But still with all of my colleagues there was this idea of truth, of finality.

I criticize it because it is another barrier of access to transition. People seeking means for medical transition are expected to be one-hundred percent, without-a-doubt-sure of their gender identity and of their future decisions regarding transition. It's starting to sound like a way to gatekeep transition, to bar access from those who are not "trans enough" because they do not fit the medical model's description. We know this. We've had these conversations before.

If we keep thinking about transness only in terms of the true self, the cracked egg, then we leave little room for those who are curious, for those who simply want to be creative with their identities, cisgender people included.

In writing this, I had to really fight the urge to go back and outline all the "clues" in my childhood that point towards my transness. I fought this because that is exactly what we as trans (genderqueer, genderfluid, trans* etc) people are supposed to do if we want to be believed. As if the only way to legitimize transness is to have "all the signs" in early childhood, as if transness is some chronic disease. Don't get me wrong --- this remembering and legitimizing works for some people, myself included. It is the way we know how to learn about ourselves. And at the same time, it is a key part of the transmedicalist approach.

We should not have to explain our histories and be certain of our futures to be believed and to have access to care.

It's an abusive relationship dynamic between the trans individual and institutions --- the desperation to explain ourselves in detail, explain our histories and our possible futures, so the institutions might allow us access to methods of transition.

The sooner we explore more possibilities beyond the idea that transness and transition are the final self, that transness is some chronic and fatal condition diagnosable from self-hatred cues in childhood, the sooner we can remove barriers of access to trans kids, and invite more people into the excitement, creativity, and nuance of trans experiences.

#transgender #terfs dni #this is going to get no notes but that's ok because i don't like interacting with people sdfgfds #i've been so revved up lately i'm genuinely considering making a blog where i talk about gender and stuff. any interest? #tumblr might be dying so let's air out our philosophies and feelings while we can #abuse mention #abuse tw

[bitternace]

(01/01!)

[ID:a digital bust drawing of xemnas from kingdom hearts. the background is transparent.

he is in profile facing right, he stares down, behind himself with his mouth slightly open, he has very faint eyebags. only the hood of his coat is visible and the length of his hair is shown until it's cut off frame. a blue line follows the line of his profile, underneath his front partitions up into his coat, and is disjointed from a line that follows some of the back of his hair. /End ID.]

#kingdom hearts #xemnas #xemnas kh #kh #happy 70th post (+a few rebagels) on this blog to me and a very happy new year to all of you my dears #ty for the support i am squeezing you with tenderness #someone give this man a haircut that is easier to draw (affectionate) #it's three am where i'm at rn so as per usual scheduling this (bark bark bark) of a guy #ALSO I WANTED TO MAKE ALL OF THESE FACE (each other) THE SAME WAY BUT #I forgot about xig's eyepatch and z/exion's.... whole thing so i'm improvising now you'll see when i get there #i really should start these series with xemnas instead of dem but ALAS i dug my grave and now i lay innit #dying on this hill of starting at the same point every time #it's bad luck of me to do otherwise because number nine. you understand (jest) #for a lot of people it will be the 2nd by the time this posts in which case happy late new years

[hauntedpearl]

the trap is like. okay i have love for it bc i am in an abusive relationship with the cw show supernatural and it has rotted my brain to the point where i settle for scraps but BUT the way it could've been crazyinsanegood was if dean did a hamilton-esque apology instead of saying he forgives cas. like yes cas craves forgiveness in that moment but also. like. there is no reason for him to actually be. like. forgiven. everyone lost in moriah. and then AFTER that dean was just lashing out. which the og script fleshed out the apology soooo much better like getting to the root of their fight and dean admitting that he blamed cas because he just needed someone to blame and not because cas did anything wrong. but also. imagine "if i could save his life — if i could trade his life for mine, he'd be standing here right now, and you would smile, and that would be enough." like it would never happen BUT IF IT HAD. IF ON GOD ROBERT BERENS MY MORTAL FRENEMY DID THIS FOR ME??? i would've won. i would've had EVERYTHING !!!!

#the problem with deanjack is that they are father and son and they are bad at being father and son and also their closeness is like. #dependent on who is writing them #if EYE was in that writing room i would make them gokd father and son breaking the cycle of violence in the perpetuating cycle of violence #show #but my naive ass is not there sadly #anyway god hates me so i don't see more OBVIOUS dean giving jack importance scenes on the show #like i think the dean in my head is like. fully just his good father who committed atrocities but is willing to do a 180 about them #but in canon i do hate the way he is with jack like he is soooo mean and for what #also there's this. wall between them. it's verg sad to watch fot me personally. #like they're family but it's always something they SAY and not SHOW and it's like. well. act like it. #that one time he was dying that was good. also the birthday cake #this is lowkey why all readings of dean are valid to me because like. they give us a lot of contradictory shit lmao #anyWAY #IN THE GOOD SPN IN MY HEAD #this would happen and then cas would slap him and then they would hug and cry and be crazyinsanesad together #and sam would solve the plot problems idc #doe is talking again #OMG SPN POST??? ON MY BLOG??? OG POST NOT TWO YEARS OLD??? #just thinking about birthday boy #destiel #dad dean and jack #sorry for Hamilton reference in 2023 that song is just. good okay ���

[girlwiththegreenhat]

a dude my ma works with at amazon died of a stroke on the job because they force them to work in hot conditions and they refused him water. they bring in modified temperature readers so they can say "see, it's a safe temperature in here, all up to code uwu" but someone snuck in their own temp reader and it was much hotter than they claim it is.

it was ninety degrees Fahrenheit. heavy lifting for several hours at a time, no water, in 90 degree loading docks.

stop fucking using amazon. or at the very least, fucking unionize.

#amazon #anti capitalism #fuck amazon #liz blogs #i am so relentlessly pissed off #stop accepting corporate nihilism. stop letting them get away with it. stop prioritizing convenience over human fucking decency #i have so many horror stories about amazon i am not fucking shopping there anymore #i mean i already have hardly shopped at amazon for years. i only buy a couple things there because i can't find them anywhere else #i am done. i am over it. no fucking more. amazon can eat my fucking ass #things aren't going to get better if people don't start giving a shit. i am giving a shit. #they treat my mom bad. they treat their workers bad. people are dying. #people are striking left and right. shitty unregulated chinese companies are stealing from people who can't fight back en-mass. #can't fucking do it anymore man. i am so mad. #on that note if you shop on temu/wish/shein/etc fucking block me.

[thatoneluckybee]

i need to draw the new strawberrry cake girl or im gonna d i e

#I am school i cannot :( #And i. Wouldn't even share it on tumblr cause i am so paranoid of having an irl find my blog #But i need to do this so much #fambles #im l osing it at 12:07pm on a tuesday #Update I am still eepy cause again i did not get to sleep much but hyperfixation hath awoken me >:3 i must THEORIZE AND PREDICT #And im not dying as much as I was this morning 👍 if im still like. Owowowooww by tomorrow or late tonight doctor but like its #Going away kinda. #I get strange health things often just wait it out :^ #Rambles #SHE LOOKS SO DHEKNWHAJSJSJN #i am going to theatre kid cringe in the yttd fandom because guys guys the curtains and the stage match up she's dressed like a rich #Theatre goer or almost like she's a puppet or a marionette or the puppeteer #I'm gonna lose it i love her aesthetic and design and shhsbsjsjsnnsnansnnsnannbb #Two sides of my I LOVE THIS #dark purples and my edgy middle school phase #And pastel pink with her SKIRT AND FRILLS AND HER RIBBONS AND

[go-bonkers-go-foolish]

can you imagine watching a character literally physically drag himself away from the people who love him, repeating "you’re born alone and you die alone", and then watching said character die surrounded by all the people who love him dearly, physically supported by an embodiment of his crew's care for him, held and loved and knowing he was a good person, with a smile on his face, after experiencing sheer joy for the first time in years because of their love and acceptance and care, being shown how much he was loved and how wrong he was about being born alone and dying alone, and then going "um actually this is bury your gays and a cheap unfitting ending for his arc? i'm so disappointed"??? could NOT be me

#izzy hands #ofmd season 2 spoilers #ofmd spoilers #this is an izzy hands stan blog #and i am tired of people not thinking critically!!! #like guys #i'm sad too. i cried. i called my best friend to scream about it with him. #but like please don't take it out on the storytellers just because you're not happy #because like it or not #it was a narratively fitting end #and izzy dying the kindest death possible after experiencing a period of pure happiness was everything i could have wanted for him #i'm gonna rewatch the la vie en rose scene again #i know i basically said all this in my long meta post earlier but i figured i'd shorten it #please don't argue in the replies i don't wanna debate this

[mintmilk-art]

I finished She-Ra

#posting on my art blog because I know some people started following me because of spop fanart #i am never going to be normal about this ever again. fuck. #im going to go on a rampage now. might follow people from this blog but if i reblog itll be on mintmilk-shake #please do not hesitate to come yell at me in dms or asks i am Dying #she ra and the princesses of power #spop