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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

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AITA for not having time to read my mutual's writing?

Met a mutual on here, bonded through fanfic, have been tight with them for a few years with pretty much no bumps in the relationship, just overall had a really good time hanging around them when I could. We both write a lot and share our writing, and occasionally we talk about that writing/workshop it in passing.

In the past few years I've gone through a ton of life changes. Most notably I went from a multi-person household to a single-person one, and I've been living alone in a prohibitively costly city for a while now working 40 hour weeks and barely scraping by. As soon as the transition started I spent the last of my free income on a shitty little laptop so I could still write, putting down words on my bus/train commutes in the morning and quite literally writing on my breaks at work because I feel insane when I can't create. I bring this up to really stress that I don't have the time for the hobby, I force myself to make the time and even then it never feels like enough.

The only thing I can really stand to do with my 3 hours of free time at night is hang out with my moots online. I'm an extrovert so being around people recharges me. If I don't have designated social time I get super depressed and can pretty much feel my soul withering away. I also feel like I should probably mention that I kinda have a slew of mental issues, personality disorders and PTSD and AuDHD and the works. Point being, shit is rough my dude, but I am a person who likes to work hard and face challenges head on and even though we strugglin, we doing it with a positive outlook.

But! I am an incredibly solution-oriented person and I have found what I personally believe to be a good balance. No one should have to live like this, but I do, and I have found a way to be happy. My writing and my social time is all load-bearing. It is not something I just choose to do on a whim, it's all planned and scheduled and I adhere to those routines very strictly because, I cannot stress this enough, I will go fucking bonkers if I don't.

I'm mutuals with a lot of writers obv, and I sadly don't have time to read their work anymore, unless I get some extra time on my days off or something gets cancelled or like, I end up taking a vacation. I carry a great amount of guilt for this, though, even though I logically know it's reasonable. I try to support them where I can, cheer them on when I see them writing and tell them how cool their ideas sound, hype them up even when I can't actually read & review.

One of the things I do is sometimes I leave a kudos on fic I haven't read. I'm not trying to be ingenuine, and if they asked me I'd tell them like 'Oh I didn't read it yet, just wanted to show support!' but to me it's kinda like ripping a paper tab off a poster so that other's feel inclined to do the same. Plus my pals get a little email and a hit of serotonin.

Except one of my acquaintances, the one I mentioned at the start here, saw that I left kudos on a couple pieces another mutual of mine wrote this year. They more or less blew up my DMs with a ton of accusatory (like, literally presented like a 'GOTCHA!') stuff about how I was selective in who's fic I read, more or less implying that I secretly held some sort of grudge or negative feeling toward them and was making the conscious decision not to read or interact with their writing because of. Something, I don't actually know what they were trying to say. They also told me they vented to their friends about this MULTIPLE times, but they never once approached me to let me know they were feeling paranoid or neglected, they literally just took the most bad faith reading of it possible and then presented that to me like it was something I intentionally did, while the whole time I was unaware.

I tried to explain to them the kudos thing, that I didn't do it to every story, just ones I caught/noticed in my busy schedule. And I laid all this out and asked, multiple times, what free time am I supposed to read with? They didn't answer, and doubled down, kept trying to show me 'proof' that I was shorting them and no one else. Once they started to realize how wrong they were they backed down, but they didn't really apologize, or admit they were wrong, and they tried to end our relationship and left every single server we were in together. Because of some other unrelated stuff going on in my life, I didn't really consider them to be a close friend, but they were someone I really held dear and would've walked through hell for if they'd asked.

I still feel like there is something I'm missing here, and that's why I wanted to ask if I'm TA. I'm a pretty good communicator but one of the things I told myself when talking down my disordered thoughts (guilt about this prior) was "no one in their right mind would use reading fanfic as a metric for friendship." Now that I've had that exact thing happen, I'm starting to think maybe those thoughts weren't so disordered. Maybe this IS a big deal, and I should think about it more, but I don't even know what the solution to that would be. I just. Don't have time to read something lovingly crafted and appreciate it for what it is. All the hours in my week are used up, I'd have to lose sleep for this and with my mental health the way it is that is not an option.

Feel free to be a brutal, my skin is thick. Thanks!

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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naomiarai · 3 months

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taehyun — things he would say during sex

(highly requested) — lowkey got 10 asks on this.

— “fucking take it!, you know you should”

— “no, i don't care if you've come twice already, actually”

— “i said fucking sit on my face”

— “leave the lights on, let me see that pussy”

— “what do we say when we want something?”

— “i’ll stain that cunt white if you don't stop moving, stay still for daddy won't you?”

— “too big? fucked out? okay let's try your mouth instead shall we?”

— “i'll slap that pussy raw, don't test me”

— “go on, finish what you've started, tell me you're mine”

— “which hole today? i'll let you have a say”

— “pick up the call, go on, it's only my fingers”

— “beg for it, come on, you've done it before”

— “sweet girl, you're shaking, all for me yeah?”

— “keep whining, keep acting like a brat, do whatever you want, but you dare open your mouth when you don't cum tonight”

— “wore this for me? 'ts so cute, you're so cute, come here angel”

— “don't run away, i was only playing with your pussy”

— “what? cock not enough? greedy slut”

— “you're really a whore, my whore”

— “give me one more baby, it'll feel good, i'll make it”

— “good girls with good pussies which can take cock get to cum, won't you be one for me?”

— “bite the sheets if you have to, no sounds”

— “ruining you has become quite a hobby hasn't it? you were good for me last night, what happened today?”

— “on your knees, mouth open”

— “yeah? feel good? good gracious, your beautiful”

— “pretty, don't hide yourself, i still haven't left any marks over there”

— “got such pretty fingers, would look prettier wrapped around my dick, don't you think?”

— “you're so wet already, i fucking love it”

— “i love you but i love being inside you even more”

— “need some attention? strip”

— “i'm your tutor not a sex worker but you've got some pretty tits don't you?”

— “you have a crush on me? so i had to fuck you dumb for you to say that?

— “don't roll those eyes at me for the wrong reasons”

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tightjeansjavi · 6 months

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honey pot 🍯

(Mood board is just for aesthetics! Reader has no physical descriptions such as body type or skin color)

A/N: so after watching a very ✨spicy✨ video, I came up with this deliciously filthy idea of neighbor!joel becoming your fuck buddy. The only problem? You have a boyfriend already 🤭 just a disclaimer, I do not condone cheating and this fic might not be for everyone, and that’s okay!

~word count: 2.7k~

Summary: you’ve been fucking your hot neighbor, Joel Miller, all summer without your boyfriend finding out until you end up faking an orgasm with him. You tell Joel that you can no longer see him, and he comes up with a solution that works for the both of you.

pairing | hot neighbor!Joel Miller x f!reader

Warnings: smut, age gap (Joel is 36 reader is 25) infidelity/cheating (done to the readers bf) dom/sub, daddy kink, unprotected piv, praise kink, pet names: baby, angel, sweetness, petal, fluff, consent, some angst??pussy play, we can’t fuck, but we can do other things! Joel is a real good filthy talker, reader and Joel are down bad for one another, helping hand vibes, fwb/fuck buddy, smut with no plot, reader has no physical descriptions but keeps her genitalia groomed, +18 minors dni!

main masterlist masterlist

You had been fucking your ridiculous, sinfully hot neighbor for the entirety of the summer. It started off as some innocent nonchalant flirting that you thought was harmless. What your boyfriend didn’t know, wouldn’t harm him, right? Besides, you were feeling deeply neglected in your current relationship. The honeymoon phase had worn off, and you were feeling frustrated and lonely on most nights. Guess football and guys night held a higher importance than his relationship with you. Well, so be it then. You could play the good little girlfriend that your boyfriend wanted you to be..and still have your cake and eat it.

That’s why falling head over heels for your neighbor Joel Miller was as easy as sliced pie. It was early June when you found a bouquet of fresh wildflowers on your front porch step with a note attached to one of the stems. It read, ‘Out of all the flowers in the patch, you are by far the prettiest petal.’ -J.M

So, he was hot and poetic? What more could you really want?

It was the following Friday that Joel finally got the courage to show up on your front step. He barely was able to ask you if you’d like to come over for dinner that evening when you blurted out an enthusiastic ‘yes!’

Joel was hot, poetic, and he could fucking cook? Yeah, you were positively screwed in the best way possible. Not only could he cook, but he actually showed interest in you. Your hobbies, your likes and dislikes, and for the first time in months, you actually felt like you were being appreciated.

So, it came as no surprise that after you both indulged his cooking skills, that you proceeded to let him ravage you on the table. Yours and his clothes were practically shredded to the floor as he kissed and licked every inch of your skin like a man starved. He made you cum more times in that evening than you thought was even possible, and my god, his cock? Jesus christ, you’re getting wet all over again just thinking about how it felt like he was splitting you in two, filling you to the fucking brim as you cried out his name and begged for more. Faster, harder, oh please, daddy, don’t stop!

“Yeah? You want more of daddy’s cock? S’that what you want?” He nearly purred as his sweat stained curls lightly tickled your forehead. His eyes were glued to the spot where your bodies were connected. He sucked in a harsh breath as his vision glazed over at the sight of your pretty little pussy tugging his cock right back in with each of his heavy thrusts.

“See the way your pussy is huggin’ my cock so tight? Pullin’ me right back in? Look how fuckin’ pretty she is, baby. Think she is the prettiest pussy I've ever seen in my entire life. She’s all mine, right? C’mon, my petal, I needa hear ya say it.” His nostrils flared as he licked hungrily into your mouth. He was consuming every last bit of you, and you were enjoying every minute of it.

“Yours, daddy! All yours.” You whined as your walls clenched down like a tight fist around his cock.

All good things must come to an end unfortunately, and your little fantasy that had been fulfilled every evening that summer, was going to have to end. That stupid boyfriend of yours was beginning to catch on ever since he caught you faking an orgasm the last time you and him had sex. Oops?

It physically pained you to even think about cutting ties with Joel. He was unconditionally good to you. All he asked for was your company. He didn’t need to ask; it was already his.

The leaves were beginning to change with the seasons as fall was approaching on the horizon. It was nearing five in the evening when you heard the all too familiar sound of Joel’s truck tires grinding over the cement. His driver side door swung shut as his footsteps neared your front steps. He was home from work, and immediately he wanted to see you. Nothing else mattered to him except seeing your pretty face.

You were pacing nervously in the front hallway as you went over the exact words you were going to tell him. We can be friends, right? Right. After you’ve spent months in his sheets, and he in yours, you’re just going to be friends? Fat chance.

You were torn from your thoughts at the sound of his knuckles rapping lightly on your front door as you wringed your hands together, taking a few deep breaths before you grasped the door handle in your palm and pulled it open.

“Hey, baby. Lookin’ gorgeous as usual.” Your fuck buddy drawled with that low, deep, texas twang of his as he leaned his elbow right up against the doorjamb.

Oh, fuck. You could feel a gush between your thighs just from the way he was leaning against your damn door.

Stay strong. Don’t fold. Don’t fold. Don’t–

“S’matter, baby? Everything’ all good n’that pretty head of yours?” He cocked his head to the side as a frown slowly spread across his lips when he saw your eyes suddenly grow glassy as a stray tear wobbled down your cheek.

“Baby–” He started, but you cut him off.

“We can’t fuck anymore, Joel.” You painfully muttered as his hand reached out to warmly cup your face while his thumb lightly brushed away your tear.

“Baby, what’s goin’ on? Somethin’ happen?” He sounded genuinely concerned as more tears began to fall and land on his bronzed skin.

“It’s my boyfriend,” You sniffled solemnly. “He knows, Joel.” Your misty dewdrop eyes met his calm gaze as he let out a soft breath between his parted lips.

“Oh, baby..I'm so sorry. I thought we were bein–’”

“Careful? Yeah, I did too.”

“How does he know?..”

“I faked an orgasm with him the last time we had sex which I think it was a week ago? Well, he grew suspicious after that. I’m so sorry, Joel. I never meant for things to get this messy.” You truly did feel awful for dragging Joel into all of this, and you never had the intention to hurt him.

“Baby, s’alright. Y’know what ain't alright? That stupid boyfriend of yours still not knowing how to treat his fuckin’ girl right. You’d think by now the guy would have some idea of how he should be treating you.” Joel held in a scoff as his hand that wasn’t presently caressing your cheek, dropped down to your waist as he pulled you in close. “I..guess this is goodbye then?”

“I don’t want it to be.” You murmured softly as you leaned into his comforting touch along your needy skin.

“Baby, y’know..it doesn’t have to be a goodbye then.” The gears in his brain were already beginning to twist and turn as he thought of a viable solution to your little problem.

“What do you mean? Joel, i’m serious, we can’t fuck anymore.”

“Sweetness, I know we can’t, and I respect that. I’ll never put my dick inside of ya again, unless you ask. But, I do think I have a solution for our little problem.”

Your pupils nearly doubled in size as the tip of his thumb dragged down across your lower lip as he tugged the soft flesh gently. His eyes bore deeply into yours as your thighs subconsciously rubbed together to relieve the building tension that was growing in the pit of your stomach.

“What is your solution, Joel? I’m all ears.”

“Well, first, I was hopin’ I could get a kiss. Been thinkin’ about these pretty lips and how badly I wanna kiss ‘em the second I walked through that door.” He rasped warmly.

Your immediate reaction was to loop your arms around his neck and close the smidge of a gap between the two of you before firmly pressing your lips against his. You licked into one another’s mouth with the same amount of passion. You could taste a morsel of tobacco along his tongue; must have bummed a smoke off of Tommy, as his hand that was wrapped firmly around your waist, slowly drifted down as he grabbed a handful of your left ass-cheek. A surprise squeak slipped past your lips as your tongues tangled.

“So, we can’t fuck, but there’s somethin’ else we can do..” He trailed off as he slowly detached his lips from yours. A string of saliva was visible between your once linked lips.

“You are not fucking sticking your dick up my ass. Don’t even think about it.”

He stifled a chuckle before stealing one more quick kiss. “Baby, I wasn’t thinkin’ about stickin’ my dick up your ass. I promise. I had somethin’ else in mind. Can I show you what I'm talkin’ about?”

You were weary at first, because what could he possibly have in mind? Going down on you? Okay, sure. You certainly wouldn’t be opposed to it, but if that was the case, why didn’t he just say it?

“Okay, I want you to show me what you’re talking about.” You agreed.

“Good girl. I promise this will be worth your while baby.” He pressed a tender kiss to your temple before he reached for your hand. Your fingers interlaced as he proceeded to lead you up the stairs to your bedroom. Your panties were undeniably soaked at this point, and he hadn’t even touched you yet.

“Go’n sit on the bed for me, darlin.’” He spoke firmly, yet softly as you padded over to your bed and slowly sunk down along the comforter.

“Now, sweetness, before you start worryin’ your pretty little mind about that silly boyfriend of yours, I promise that he won’t know about this.”

You dumbly nodded as you crossed one leg over the other, awaiting his next request.

“I trust you, daddy.” You softly cooed.

“Good girl. Now, I want you to take your pants off for me, baby.”

You wasted no time to pop the button off your jeans as you dragged the zipper down. You started shimmying the denim fabric down your thighs and legs, but before you could even grasp the band of your panties, he was stopping you.

“No, no, Angel. Jus’ your pants. Keep your panties on.”

Why was that so hot.

You slipped your thumbs out from under the thin elastic band of your panties before you kicked your jeans to the side. Your mouth began to water the moment you heard the familiar sound of his belt buckle clinking open.

“Good girl. Now, I jus’ want you to lay your pretty ass on the comforter. Spread your thighs a little, but not too much.”

You could feel the wet patch pooling through the thin fabric of your panties as you slowly leaned back on your elbows along the comforter and spread your thighs just enough that he could fit between them.

Your pussy pulsed inwards the second your eyes landed on his bare cock that was hanging out of the opening in his jeans. You nearly drooled as he swiped his thumb across his ruddy weeping tip that had a bead of pre-cum drooling from the small slit. He twisted his wrist a couple times before he slowly approached you.

His lips curved upwards in a sly grin when he saw the cock-dumb look on your pretty face. You took your lower lip harshly between your teeth when you felt the rough skin of his thumb brush across your covered aching clit as he gently rubbed the swollen nub in tight expert circles. His freehand was still wrapped around the base of hs cock as he watched your face twist into pleasure.

“Y’know, it makes me so fuckin’ mad that you ain’t bein’ treated right. The only weepin’ you and your pretty pussy should be doin’ is the good kind. Y’got literal honey drippin’ between your thighs, darlin.’ He oughta start worshipin’ you sooner, before someone else ends up doin’ it for him.” He tsked under his breath.

“Joel,” You whimpered wantonly.

“I know, baby. I know. I’m gonna respect your wishes n’not fuck you, but that doesn’t mean I still can’t make ya feel good. I’ll always take care of you, angel. No silly boyfriend of yours can stop me from treatin’ you right.” He murmured as he dragged his thumb down to the inside of your panties. He gently hooked his thumb around the damp fabric before he pulled it to the side. His mouth went dry at the sight of your glistening, puffy, needy little pussy. When it came to women, he didn’t mind their choices to never shave, or to just trim, or to completely go bare. He loved their pussies regardless of how they were groomed, or their natural appearance. They were all beautiful in his eyes, and deserved to be worshiped. But, he couldn’t deny how fucking pretty yours was, and how your slickness clung to the fabric of your panties like glue made his cock twitch in his palm.

He could bite his fist right then and there, but he had a job to complete.

“So pretty, baby. Prettiest little pussy. G’nna take extra good care of her now, okay?”

“Thank you, daddy.” you spoke above a whisper as he slowly slid the tip of his cock underneath your panties. You could feel the slick coolness of his pre-cum sliding across your folds as he rolled his hips forward. A deep grunt rumbled up his chest as he nudged your clit.

“You’re welcome, baby. Y’jus’ sit back and enjoy yourself, okay? Daddy is gonna do all the work for ya.” He promised you with a chaste kiss to your swollen lips as his hands came to rest along your thighs.

Now you fully understood what Joel meant by his solution to not fucking you. Christ, this was almost better than the feeling of his cock splitting you open. How lucky you were to have a man treat you like a princess.

“Oh, fuck.” You mewled as he thrust his hips faster, mimicking the same movements as if he was fucking you. “That feels so good, daddy.”

“Mhmm. I know it does, baby. I told you this would be worth your while.” He took his own lip between his teeth as he focused on the rhythm of his thrusts.

“This is almost better than fucking, almost.” You softly moaned as he increased his pace. Your hands found his as your orgasm slowly began to build.

“Nothin’ is better than fuckin’, Angel. Jus’ so lucky to make you feel good one last time. You’re doin’ so good for me, baby. I want you to cum, okay? I want to see you ruin those pretty little panties.” He urged you praisingly as the tip of his cock continuously bumped against your clit.

He was playing your pussy 100x better than your boyfriend ever could as you reveled in the pure pleasurable feeling one last time.

It didn’t take you long to reach your high as Joel’s hips stuttered forward as he spilled his hot seed right between your slick folds. He slowly slipped his cock out from underneath your ruined panties. He pressed soft kisses to your face, a playful nibble to the tip of your nose before his lips found yours in a searing kiss.

“Better take these for safe keepin’ so your boyfriend doesn’t know I was here.” He stated with a snicker as he gently slipped your soaked panties down your thighs. “I’ll getcha a fresh pair, okay, sweetness?”

Just as he was about to get up from your bed, your hand encased around his wrist, caging him in your grasp momentarily. “Wait, Joel?”

“What is it, baby?”

“Maybe..this won’t be the last time?..”

“Baby..”

“I want you, and if that means I have to break up with my stupid boyfriend? Then so be it. I’ll break up with him.”

“Angel, are you absolutely sure that’s what you want to do?”

“Yes. i’ll call him up as soon as you finish fucking me, and i’ll tell him that it’s over.”

A wicked grin spread across his lips as he situated himself between your thighs once more. “Well, I guess you won’t be needin’ a fresh pair of panties after all, huh baby?” He teased.

“Nope. Not while you’re around, Daddy.”

Banners made by the lovely @saradika ✨

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wqnwoos · 2 months

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jeonghan thinks that having you as his roommate is possibly one of the best and worst things that’s happened to him.

you are, by far, the best roommate he’s ever had. you’re clean. not too loud. you don’t disturb him when he’s sleeping, you don’t take food from the fridge that’s clearly his and you never leave your dishes in the sink.

coming from sharing with soonyoung, seungkwan and seokmin, jeonghan doesn’t think his living situation could get any better.

or at least, he didn’t. now he’s starting to realise he has a problem, and that problem is his teensy tiny crush on you.

because not only are you clean and hygienic, you’re also nice. incredibly nice — and incredibly gorgeous, and jeonghan really doesn’t think it’s fair that you tick all three boxes so easily. and yeah, maybe it’s not the biggest crush, but it certainly doesn’t help when you go around doing stupidly endearing things, like tripping over the rug that’s been there since you moved in, or dancing when you’re cooking dinner.

or baking at odd hours of the evening — because when he gets home at nearing midnight after hanging out at joshua’s house, he can hear you clattering around the kitchen from the doorway. you don’t see him when he first enters the room, eyes fixated on the measuring scale in front of you, as you pour brown sugar into a bowl.

“what are you doing?”

you jump when you hear his voice, somehow knocking a wooden spoon to the ground with your elbow as you yelp. “when did you get here?”

“just now.” jeonghan leans against the doorway with narrowed eyes. “do you know what time it is?”

“i’m — i’m stress-baking,” you enunciate, with heavy, deliberate emphasis. “it’s relieving my stress.”

jeonghan directs a dubious glance around the kitchen. there’s a pile of flour on the counter that should definitely be in some sort of packet; chocolate chips are sprinkled across the surface; there are at least seven different dirty bowls in the sink. “is it?”

you let out a deflated sigh, rubbing at your nose and leaving an adorable smudge of flour on the top. sourly, you admit —“no.”

jeonghan pushes off the doorframe, helping himself to a handful of chocolate chips before you can bat away his hand with the wooden spoon. “so, darling roommate of mine,” he begins, lifting himself onto the few clean inches of the surface. “why are we stress baking at such an hour?”

your nose wrinkles, and you avoid his gaze with admirable intensity. “i don’t want to talk about it.”

jeonghan prides himself on knowing when to push and when not to push. he can tell, even after knowing you for only a matter of months, that you’re not ready to talk about it yet. this exact scenario, late-night, stress-fuelled baking, has happened a few times before. and, right on schedule —

“you should go to bed,” you say after a moment. but your voice wavers ever so slightly, and jeonghan knows that even though you’d never ask, you don’t want to be alone right now.

“what, so you can stress yourself out all alone?” he asks lightly. “not a chance.”

so he sits there and talks to you as you finish up your cookies, stealing chocolate chips and laughing when you scowl at him, and then offering them to you at the last second. he puts them in the oven for you because somehow, despite your nocturnal hobbies, you’re yet to invest in oven mitts, and he doesn’t want you to get burnt.

sometimes, jeonghan considers telling you how he feels. sometimes, like now, when it’s late at night and his logical thinking is dulled, and you’re laughing at all his jokes, even the stupid ones, and everything feels so indescribably right — jeonghan feels like he’s spilling over. he feels like sometimes there’s a light in your eyes when you look at him, smile with him, that makes him think that reciprocation is more than a possibility — it’s a probability.

but he won’t. he knows he won’t, not yet. maybe one day, maybe sooner than he thinks, but not yet. for now, he just slips off the counter to dry the dishes when you wash them. to flick soap at your eyes and blow bubbles with you and connect his phone to the bluetooth speaker and coax you into dancing with him in the middle of the kitchen until your brows are no longer furrowed and your smile feels fuller than it was when he walked in. until the cookies are done, golden-brown and warm and sweet, just how he feels on nights like this.

an / i don’t have anything to say. hi guys

perm taglist: @n4mj00nvq @eoieopda @som1ig @wondering-out-loud @graybaeismytae @hannyoontify @sahazzy @dokyeomin @icyminghao @smilehui @nicholasluvbot @lvlystars @immabecreepin @hanniehaee @kokoiinuts @astrozuya @doublasting @yepimthatonequirkyteenager @qaramu @weird-bookworm @phenomenalgirl9 @lightnjng @strnsvt @onlyyjeonghan @athanasiasakura

#jeonghan fluff #jeonghan x reader #seventeen x reader #seventeen fic #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #seventeen fanfic #jeonghan imagines #jeonghan comfort #jeonghan fic #jeonghan fanfic #jeonghan x y/n #jeonghan scenarios

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astrologylunadream · 5 months

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Everything Your Person Loves About You♡🧁🍇🖤 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hi it's Lunadream!! I will be showing you all the things that your person loves about you♡ hope you find your message💌🖤

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🍇🍨☕

Pile 1🧁

Pile 2🍇

Pile 3🍨

Pile 4☕

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 🍨☕🖤

Pile 1🧁

Sign energy: Love at first sight, Twin flame, Pride, End, Book, 8th house, South node, 5th house, Aquarius, Taurus, ☄❤🦢⚖

👤Your person's energy: Very romantic energy for this pile's person, omg this is a connection that has been going for a long time possibly beyond this lifetime. I'm seeing this as someone you have hit a roadblock with, and the relationship may have slowed down or come to a stop.🤚 Scorpio, Leo, Aquarius and Taurus placements, specifically could be Taurus over their 8th house or Aquarius over their 5th. Your person has a passionate and deep nature about them, they probably love the story of romeo and juliet as it is their idea of true romance. When they love, they love so deep and endlessly. Omg this person loves like they're in a romance book.📖💞 I think they are very physically attractive to my pile 1's, ohh and their voice is so addictive to you lol. They are very prideful in themselves and their talents, this may be someone who reads or writes online a lot. Some of my pile 1's fell in love at first sight with this person!!🥰 This could be a twin flame connection for most of you take what resonates, you may see them as your other half that compliments you perfectly.☯⚖ I feel like they just came into your life and just completed you in some way, soulmate vibes~💓

🖤What they love about you: Concert, Desert, Hug from behind, Despair, Ring, Mercury, Mars, Fire, 5th house, Gemini, 🧛‍♀️❌🍬🌃 Omggg my pile 1 this is getting good!!😍 First of all they love your mind and the way you think, the way you sort out your thoughts and the things you talk about. They love hearing you speak (especially on phone calls I'm hearing📞) and they feel like you have such a beautiful rhythm to your voice and the way you think.💭💕 Ahh your person LOVES the way you hug and hugging you too, I'm definitely seeing that they love the way you pull them in every way especially physically very interested in you😍🙊 They love how creative and sweet you are! Also this is so funny but I feel like they love the way you react when you're angry or sad like it is attractive to them??😳 The way you say no to things that don't serve you is so amazing to them, like they can just see the fire in your soul and it lights up! Your interests, hobbies and music you listen to all makes them more in love. Physically they really like your behind, that is what is came up😭😳 There's more but this is not that type of reading so we'll leave it there for my pile 1's😂😂 I think they really love seeing you have fun and enjoy things, they can't ignore the spark in your eyes when you love something.💓

💌Messages from your person: Who are you? I'm playing with fire, Your soul is mine, It's hard to explain, What have you done? It's meaningless, I can save you, Something is pulling us together. (Ahh a soul connection is real between you two💞) Extra cards: Closed, Choice, Actor, Drown, Lean

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the cupcake emoji~🧁 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 2🍇

Sign energy: Short term, Imagination, Fit, Ego, Reach out, Sun, Scorpio, Neptune, Leo, Moon, 🌅🧜‍♂️🎰🕺

👤Your person's energy: I'm getting very intense vibes from my pile 2's person, almost like they got something to prove. Leo, Scorpio, Pisces and Cancer placements, I'm getting Scorpio and Leo vibes the most. They are very captivating and their stare is so deep, they have a lot of confidence and self respect. They have quite an imagination and fantasize often, mostly of themselves and their life I'm hearing. I think they know you are attracted to them or tell themselves that, like "pile 2 is definitely into me😎" haha. They may try often to fit your ideals or their own, striving to be a living fantasy. You or them could be reaching out to the other but I feel like it's more likely your person. They are very attractive and alluring, I think they put a lot of effort into themselves. Omg pile 2's person loves showing off, and getting attention, probably have people obsessed with them secretly. They are reaching for the stars I'm hearing, very ambitious.☀️ The number 7 may be significant, I am seeing a lot of self energy with your person. They are heavily focused on how they appear to others, and to you. Illusive siren vibes, they draw you in deeply🖤

🖤What they love about you: January, Lay down, Solitude, Self love, Siren, Leo, Lilith, North node, 9th house, 7th house, 🎫🔍😗🤷‍♂️ Ahaha okay for my pile 2's your person loves your aura and who you are. They see you as a reflection of themselves in some way, they are in love with the way you treat yourself with self respect and confidence.👑💞 Also I think they are heavily into your attitude and outlook on things, honestly they are so attracted to your edgy side.🔪 Like your more intimidating self, they actually are really attracted to that side of you. Your person has a thing for your dark side🙊 Also you may spend time alone for yourself and they love that about you, that you make time for yourself and put yourself first when needed <3 Also how curious you are about deeper topics like occult and for some of you it's shadow work, your person loves how interested you are in those things.🖤 I do see that your person may love the idea of a relationship with you, having you as a potential romantic partner for them. Also they love how mysterious and beautiful you are, like your energy is so magnetic to them. They think you're very smart too, even if you don't think so. Of course take what resonates but I'm seeing your person loves fantasizing hot scenarios with you😳 Over all they just love how you radiate confidence and pride in life and they love how you take control of the things you want in life.♡✊🖤

💌Messages from your person: You might get scared, You made a mistake, You should have texted me, I won't let you be with anyone else, Please don't hide your pain, Tell me the truth, I won't forget this, It can't be (My pile 2's your person wants to know how you're feeling💓) Extra cards: Hands, Longterm, Wild, Grey, Disturbance (Some spicy energy from your person but I'll leave it up to interpretation for this reading🚫🙈🖤)

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the grapes emoji~🍇 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 3🍨

Sign energy: Prank, Final, Drive, Prove, 6th house, 4th house, Water, Aquarius, Sun, Venus, 🗡🐏🌉😰

👤Your person's energy: Okay so we have some interesting energy for my pile 3's person!! First off they may have their sun in 6th house or Virgo, but I'm also getting Aquarius sun or venus. Cancer, Leo, Libra and Taurus placements aswell for you guys💓 Your person has a touch of soft femininity to them (no matter the gender) like they are just very caring and sweet at heart.🥺 I'm getting that this person gets very defensive if you play with their feelings or emotions, they dislike being tricked or mislead. Some of you know this person through online, or there is a connection to them with that in some way. You think of this person often or on a daily basis, some of my pile 3's overthink about this person!!💭 Lol I think one or both of you try so hard to act like there's nothing going on between you to like friend zoning or trying to remain professional, but like the relationship means so much to you both I'm hearing♡ You feel very familiar with this person, they are very protective over you too like family. I am getting that they are also very supportive of your love for them. They make you feel safe and in love, omg and I am hearing that they have a fierce side to them when it comes to protecting their loved ones like no one will want to mess with them because they will fight hard to keep you safe💗

🖤What they love about you: Desperation, Mall, Handsome, Model, Captive, 4th house, Pisces, Aries, 9th house, Uranus, 🗡😖😗💢 Ahh my pile 3's your person loves your soft side and the way you show your emotions. This is a strange message but I'm hearing they really love when you are desperate over something like them, like they are so into that😳 It's a weird kink of theirs. But anyways they love how passionate and vulnerable you are for the things you care about, your hopeless romantic nature. Your person thinks that is so attractive of you😭💞 They love if you blush over them too like "omg they're so cute/attractive/so magnetic" like they really love you like that~ <3 I think they love being stuck on you or the idea of like, not getting over you🥺😢 They fantasize about you on every level from physical to emotional, also they love when you get angry/aggressive🤬 Idk but they think you're so attractive when you're angry like whaaat??😂 But also... they love being able to protect you or keep you to themselves, hugging you and touching you to make you feel at home.💕 Aww pile 3 your person really loves just having you with them or knowing you are safe. They do fantasize about holding you I mean not taking their hands off you LOL they love how delicate and cuddly you are. Also you may have exotic model features that they find very appealing, your legs may be something your person loves about you😍 They really love the way you love them because it feels so soft and sweet to them🥺🍰💗 Also the way you dress is very lovable to them, like they wanna go shopping with you <3

💌Messages from your person: I want to, I'm touched, No one loves me like you do, I finally found you, Your laugh is contagious, What's yours is mine, Why can't you tell me? We would be perfect together (Omggg pile 3 your person loves you so much!!😭💞 They want to you to say you both are perfect for each other💞💕) Extra cards: Explosion, Competition, Honest, Crazy, Message

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the sundae emoji~🍨 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 4☕

Sign energy: Difficult, Saturn, Only one, Compulsive, Inactivity, 1st house, 12th house, 4th house, Vertex, Mercury, 😥👩‍🎨🤙👉

👤Your person's energy: Okay so there is definitely a block between you and this person right now, it could be emotionally or physically but there is definitely something between you guys that feels confusing and hard to read one another.💭 Capricorn, Aquarius, Aries, Pisces, Cancer, Gemini and Virgo are possible placements for your person, could have Mercury or Saturn in 1st house. This person may not be able to comfort you right now, or perhaps trying to comfort you too much. They may think or talk like an older person even if they are younger, they think responsibly and may be very strict with themselves. This is a very hard time for both of you I'm hearing, and you are trying your best to stay strong.✊ There are definitely confirmations of reaching out spiritually with this person, through tarot and such as this may be the only way to truly call out to them right now. Fate is in the works for you two though, and eventually communication will become more stable and upfront. This person feels like home to you, and you feel connected to them on a higher level.🌠🖤 This is someone you are familiar with, they may keep coming back to you. Some of my pile 4's see this person as the one.💍 But I definitely think this person isn't communicating the best with you right now, But they are trying their best in this connection. This is someone who fantasizes often about being in touch with another's emotions and desires, truly connecting on a level beyond physical.🔗♡ Very dreamy and spiritual individual.

🖤What they love about you: August, Audience, Silence, Lost in translation, Number, Water, Neptune, Aries, Virgo, 10th house, 🧚‍♀️🛏💦😏 Okay my pile 4's I'll try not to go into to much detail but your person is being very naughty right now so we'll just have to keep it simple😬😰 They love your artistic sense of beauty, you have an aesthetic eye and they find that very attractive. They love how illusive and mysterious you are, and your emotional intuitive side. My pile 4's your person loves getting lost in you while thinking of you, dreaming of you is something they love to do. They may have more dark or intimate dreams of you, fulfilling all their fantasies.😅😳 They have a lot of subconscious thoughts they need to translate into their conscious mind, there are things they may not even know they love about you or weren't aware of. But also... your person loves the thought (just the thought😰) of taking you under their control or dominating you in some way most likely mentally. Your vulnerable and fragile side is strangely attractive to them. They would love if you were addicted to them, but they love being that way with you regardless. They may love how your subconscious mind works or seeing you unconscious.. You are like a fairy to your person, they want to catch you and keep you just because you're pretty to them lol.😂🖤 I feel like they're just waiting to say "are you lost?"🥺 so they can take you in and hold you tight.🤧♡♡ They don't mind waiting for you too.

💌Messages from your person: I shouldn't, I'm stuck with you, You can decide, Save me from myself, Believe me, I'm lost without you, You know what I'm doing, Would you kiss me back? (Aww pile 3🥺💞) Extra cards: Fishing, Practical, Heart, Lost in translation, Secret admirer

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the coffee emoji~☕ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

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moonastro · 2 months

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Solar Return chart notes ii

**not my images**

ᯓ★ chart ruler of SR in 3rd house may mean you will have a new (younger) sibling (or cousin).

ᯓ★ pluto in 1st house of SR is the year that i had a transformative overall year. I wouldn't call it an identity crisis but i was questioning who or what i am or what i need to be doing.

ᯓ★ IC ruler in 4th house in SR can make you more family oriented. i had this one year and i had a closer relationship with my household family.

ᯓ★ another indication of studying the occult is having vertex in the 8th house. i had mines in Gemini (mind, studying, writing).

ᯓ★ venus in 4th house in SR can mean you loving your culture and your traditions more.

ᯓ★ the ruler of 5th house in 6th house can be an indication of starting to move your body for fun. i had my ruler of 5th house (hobbies) in the 6th house (physical body, routine) and it was in Aries (fast moving, fast pace). i started dancing more that year as a hobby and for fun.

ᯓ★ 11th house SR in cancer can make your friendships very confusing. For example i had my 11th house in cancer and moon (ruler) in 3rd house (of communication, talking), there was lack of communication which led to confusion.

ᯓ★ vertex in the 8th house of SR can mean earning money/ getting money from other people. i had this in gemini (rules social media, and communication) in 8th house.

ᯓ★ when i had mars (action, messages) in the 9th house (higher learning, education) i had multiple of university offers. Mars was trine Neptune and the courses were art related. very interestinggg.

ᯓ★ ruler of 11th house square mars can bring conflict to your friendship circle.

ᯓ★ the ruler of 2nd house in Aquarius can make your senses change. what i mean by this is that your taste may change or say your sense of smell can become weaker or sharper etc etc.

ᯓ★ in your SR, when the 4th house ruler trines Venus, you may create a beautiful bond with your family members. This can also enhance your love for your heritage.

ᯓ★ Jupiter trine asteroid Aphrodite (1388) can influence self care. i had jupiter in Aries and i was very focused on the head/face and taking care of these areas such as my skin and my oral health. The asteroid was in the 2nd house which rules the face and teeth in medical astrology. very cool.

ᯓ★ when i had moon sextile uranus in my SR i was very chronically online. i had comfort in that area and would almost allow what i saw on the internet control my mood.

ᯓ★ venus trine saturn in your SR can make you become stricter on your appearance. this may cause you to be very aware of how you look and be quite strict about it.

ᯓ★ SR sun in 7th house, expect to be more confident. i had this trine pluto and went out of my comfort zone lots of times even if i felt a bit anxious.

ᯓ★ Mars in cancer in your SR can make you bicker with family members tremendously. i had this placement in a taurus degree (2,14,26) and there were topics related to finances being discussed quite often (mostly the females).

ᯓ★ ketu in 1st house of SR can make you more isolated. not always a bad thing this can just mean that you don't crave spending time with other people and enjoy your own company.

thanks for reading, have a nice day!🤍

#solar return #solar return chart #astrology #asteroid astrology #astrology community #astrology degrees #astrology observations #kpop astrology #vedic astrology #sidereal astrology #astro notes #astro community #astro observations #astro placements #vedic astro notes #astrology synastry #celebrity astrology

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gummilutt · 4 months

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Autonomous crafting for all teen+ Sims

I've never before been so happy to share a creation! Get ready to get crafting, because it's about to get autonomous! Released today in collaboration with the wonderful @joplayingthesims who has built a community lot for the mod, seen in the pictures below. Exciting!

In my game, I have a community lot with crafting stations for Sims who can't afford one, or don't have space for one. But as I visited it recently with one of my college students wanting to learn flower arrangement, I got a bit depressed by all the empty stations and the other visitors just standing around chatting. I wondered if anyone had added autonomy, and I came upon iCad's autonomy enabler. While neat, it only adds autonomy for the active household which is the opposite of what I wanted. So I made my own that enables it for visiting Sims as well, only to quickly realize how annoying that got. All these Sims asking me to pick a recolor for them, blergh! So I went on tweaking, fixing the annoyances as they came up, and here we are! Finally it is possible to have a lively crafting studio where all Sims participate, without being annoying for you the player! Are you excited? Because I am excited!

What does the mod do? - Enables autonomy on "make many" and "continue" (see readme for more info on why not make one) for all five original crafting types - Robots, toy making, flower arrangement, pottery and sewing - Does NOT charge your Sims money for background Sim crafting. Money sounds and visuals show for all Sims, but only your current households crafting charges household funds. - By default only autonomous on community lots. Has optional autonomy on residential/apartment lots, you can enable autonomy on those lot types by placing the Autonomy Toggler object somewhere on the lot (custom object made using parts of the FT crafting clutter, found in hobbies/misc for 1 simoleon). I set it up this way as residential autonomy sounds irritating to me, but I'm all about flexibility for the user. Perhaps you want to run arts classes at your residential playable school, or you simply like autonomy more than I do :) Please note that autonomy advertisement is tuned with community lot use in mind, so it might be higher than you'd want for residential. If there's interest I am happy to make a second version with lower advertising for those who primarily want residential use. If you are somewhat familiar with TTAB edits yourself, you can try changing attenuation code to low or medium to limit advertisement distance which will reduce appeal to Sims. VER 2: Toggler object now also works on community lots, turning off autonomy if present on community lot. Residential/apartment behavior remains the same as before. - Fixes annoyances with background crafting, such as selecting recolors and pop ups about progress - Changes inventory mechanics to allow for owned studio-type use, in case you'd like a friendly owner Sim present to provide instruction. Crafting now only goes to business lot owner if done by an employee, otherwise crafting Sim gets the object. Includes home business, so if it bothered you that family members don't get to keep their work, this also fixes that. If that part annoys you, see readme for how to remove this feature.

Download mod on simfileshare | Download ver 2 on simfileshare (New version out, fixing a bug reported by Nemertes. More info here)

You might say "Okay well fun for you Gummi, but I don't have a community lot with crafting stations, so why would I need this?". Well fortunately Joandsarah has the solution for that problem! Check out the cute crafting studio she built to give all of you a place to start community crafting! Available on MTS

Conflicts: Only known conflict is iCad's original autonomy enabler, you have to pick if you want hers version of autonomy, or mine :) Readme contains breakdown of the functionality of all parts, to help you decide a load order should you encounter conflicts. It should be possible to resolve conflicts though if there are any others, so please report them to me :)

Credits: @joplayingthesims for collaborating with me and providing a lot that you can get started with if you don't have one, iCad at @dramallamadingdang for the original autonomy enabling mod, @cityof2morrow who helped playtest the mod

If anyone else builds a community lot intended for autonomous use, I hope you let me know somehow so I can add links to it in my post :) If any other modders see ways to improve on what I did, please feel free to do so :) I am hoping to eventually post an update that sends all crafting to inventory to fix the make one issue, and the station clogging that happens over time.

#gummiluttmods #ts2 mods #ts2 gameplay #ts2 crafting #ts2 cc

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afewproblems · 1 year

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I think Steve needs a secret creative hobby that he springs on the group, surprising everyone.

Sometimes, it can be a little depressing to believe that everyone you love sees you as this one guy, this dumb jock. Intellectually, he knows that the kids and Robin, Nance, and Eddie don't think he's stupid, but that doesn't make the feeling go away.

What if his mom had put him in a ballroom dancing class when he was younger? From age 7 to 12, he took dancing through an independent studio with the other rich kids. It started with ballroom, which continued into swing-dancing. He loved it.

And Steve was good.

He was fluid and graceful, an absolute natural the instructor would remark to his mother when she would come to pick him up. In fact, they were picking kids to participate in the upcoming tournament for the youth category, and Steve was a perfect candidate, the instructor said.

That was until his dad made the executive decision to pull Steve out and force him into sports after catching Steve dancing with his mom in the kitchen. Watching his son twirling around with Susan Harrington, a small indulgent smile on her face, was the final straw for Richard.

"No son of mine is going to prance around like that, like a little fairy," he snarled as he dragged Steve away from the kitchen, his firm white-knuckle grip holding Steve's small arm as they made their way up the stairs to his room.

Steve tried not to make a sound as he covered his ears to the yelling match taking place in room below him.

Steve ended up in little league the next day.

Steve still practiced though, on his own.

It wasn't as though he hadn't made friends in that class, kids who kept on with it.

He missed it, he missed them. He missed how he felt when dancing.

It was freeing.

Carla Neilson taught him the new steps, things she continued to learn while Steve played baseball, basketball, and eventually made the swim team in highschool.

Swimming would probably be the closest he would get to that feeling of gliding along the floor, that grace and fluidity never really leaving him.

He had been a decent player at one time because of his quick feet, but that was before Billy Hargrove rolled into town. Steve never quite learned how to plant his feet because dancing always kept him moving, Hargrove seemed to enjoy pointing out how truly 'fairy-like' he was as he made his way across the court. Those words, the same words his father had hissed at him, all those years ago left him cold and hurt.

He stops dancing after that.

It's not until years later, after Vecna, after Billy dies and his Father disowns him, after he kisses Eddie for the first time and he finally feels like he can breath again that the group finds out.

It's at a party. Everyone of age is a little tipsy or faded at this point in the evening and playing a question game, the kids roll their eyes at their older friends antics and stick to the Nintendo across the living room of Steve and Eddie's apartment.

The question of, 'What is your hidden talent,' comes up and everyone takes their turn.

Robin recites the alphabet backwards, not blinking or pausing the entire way which everyone applauds for once she's finished.

Nancy does a quick handstand and takes three steps backward before dropping her legs back to the ground, she curtsies with a sly smile and laughs as she sits next to Robin again who is staring at Nancy like shes never seen her before.

Eddie thinks for a moment before lifting his hand to his mouth and blows out an impressively loud whistle that prompts Mike to tell them all off for being loud.

Jonathan blows a giant smoke ring while Argyle moonwalks around the living room, earning the pair of them a chorus of woops and applause.

Everyone turns to Steve once Argyle drops back to his seat next to Jonathan, "Alright brochacho you're up man," he says with a hazy smile.

Steve thinks for a moment, looking around at everyone, all of these people who love him, and makes a decision.

"Uh, yeah okay, I've got one," he says slowly before standing up from the loveseat he's sharing with Eddie, "but I'll need a volunteer and some music".

"Oh my God," Robin stage whispers to Nancy, "is he going to do magic right now? Steven Harrington can you do magic??"

Steve snorts and rolls his eyes, "I think I found my volunteer," he holds out his hand for Robin to take as Eddie stands up to turn on their second-hand record player they got from Uncle Wayne as a house warming.

"Uh, one of mine Eds," Steve says with a slight shake to his voice, "something with a beat".

"Oh shit," Robin chokes out as Steve tugs her close. She nearly stumbles, but his arms hold her up.

Eddie smirks like it's a challenge and pulls out Whitney Houston, earning a smile from Jonathan and a small, 'really?' from Nancy.

Argyle laughs, "Heck Yeah man, Whitney rocks dude, turn that shit up!"

Steve smiles and takes a deep breath, his heart is racing but he doesn't care in this moment, he looks at Eddie who is grinning at him, a slightly curious look on his face.

And it's like riding a bike, he leads Robin across the small space twirling and dipping her as she squeals and tries to follow.

Steve probably could have picked a slightly less clumsy volunteer, but he loves Robin and showing her, showing them all, this part of himself after hiding it for so long just means the world to him.

He keeps his own feet fast, keeping the beat but moving Robin where she needs to be as they glide over the carpet, he spins her out and then back into his arms as the song ends, they are both breathing heavily by the time the last note rings out and Robin can't contain her hands from smacking into Steve's chest as she yells, "Who the fuck are you! Dingus how could you hide this!"

Steve blushes as Eddie comes up behind him to hook his head over his shoulder as his arms come up to wrap around Steve's waist.

"Fancy footwork dude," Argyle says nodding at Jonathan who is looking at Steve with fascination.

"When did you learn to dance?" Nancy asks, her voice soft and kind, as though she knows exactly how big this is for him.

"I will accept the fact that you did not pick me to dance just now if I can be your partner next time," Eddie says into Steve's ear, letting his teeth graze the lobe slightly making Steve shiver and laugh.

El and Max refuse to let him sit down for the rest of the night, insisting that he do that spinning move with each of them until all of the kids demand a turn.

Even Mike.

And he loves them all, happy to have finally shared this piece of himself with all of them. His heart is full.

#stranger things #steve harrington #steddie #eddie munson #the party #steve harrington is a dancer #let steve have hobbies #this turned out way longer than i meant it to #fanfiction #steve x eddie #stranger things season 4 #head canon #steddie drabble #steve harrinton has a bad dad #soft steve harrington #found family is the best family #this is so soft

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modmad · 15 days

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Hey Mod, I don't know what's going on that hurt you, I feel like I missed something that's happened, but I can tell from what I did see that it didn't just hurt you, but scared you and made you feel a Lot of doubt. I've also seen a lot of messages pouring in with support, and I want to share mine.

I have hypermobile type EDS, fibromyalgia, and a whole bucket's worth of faulty wiring in my brain. And I've always had stories to tell but I never felt I was good enough to share them. If it's because I can't focus enough to get through nanowrimo, or because I can't manage the focus and time towards drawing as a hobby, or the fact that an excessive amount of either for me leads to my hands wanting to shut down. But you? You *inspire* me. Your stories, all the ones I've seen, read, experienced in some way or another, they're so good. And you're open and honest with your fans about your own health, and of course, we support you and always would rather you rest and feel as best you can, instead of pushing out something and working yourself too hard. But all of this is to say that. I think I would have given up on my own stories if I hadn't found you and yours.

I hope whatever is going on sorts itself out, I hope you're able to keep telling your stories. At your own pace, in your own way. I think you deserve to be happy. If there's anything we (your fans, especially those of us too awkward to come off anon, whoops,) can do, to help in some way? Even if it's silly videos or cute cat pictures or whatever it is that could just help you smile. We're here. We love you.

woof. I woke up to so many messages I can't even read them all in one go I'm getting too emotional- I do feel I owe an explanation so I'll explain what happened under the cut but all you guys need to know is I'm okay, I got through it, I love you, and you're so important to me and I'm so grateful for all the messages that have asked me to stay.

tw for suicidal thoughts and all that

yeah so I have the bad morning of all mornings: was introduced to the fact there's this one character (Mr Puzzles) on a very popular youtube that. resembles RGB. incredibly strongly. like. I don't want to link to it just look if you want to. Anyway at the time I thought it had just dropped (seems to have been around for 6 months actually), and having commented on it I immediately got an inbox full of hate mail.

My website, meanwhile, had locked both me and my web designer out of it, and- already in a bad state of mind- I went into full on panic/paranoid spiral of 'they have hacked it, and they are going to delete any proof that I was here before them.' This of course wasn't true, and we have since recalimed control of the site (don't know what happened there but hey. it's fine???? haha. ha.)

On top of this my father has terminal cancer of the pancreas, which is horrible for everyone already but it means that- at some point this year- I am going to be the only person with an active income in my house. I am disabled, do not make a lot of money, and the cost of living is skyrocketing. Combine that with months of Despair at the world right now, with the multiple wars, genocide, corruption and AI and the loss of control any of us have over our IP or lives and I just decided it was time to end it all.

I somehow remembered this was a bad idea to act on immediately (hard during a period of entirely irrational thought) and instead went for a very long walk, crossed the bridge I could have jumped off and during that I came out of the worst of it. I then came back home to so much love online I felt deeply ashamed for ever contemplating it, and I cried a lot. My nose is still puffy and now my feet hurt! lmao

Anyway. Yeah. There's your context. I am not going to stop hoping, making, or living. I am prone to moments of weakness and this was one of the worst of them and I am still here, thanks in a large part to all of you. I might need you in the future to defend me against this, or people who take our ideas, but I hope you know that I will do the same for you. We need each other, and to be there for you I need to be here at all.

also fuck Mr Puzzles

#context for mod's little (massive) mental breakdown yesterday #you don't need to read it but I felt folks are due an explanation #tw suicide #ask to tag #mental health is wow!!!! a thing

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