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furiousgoldfish · 3 years

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Tactics of narcissistic abuse

Love Bombing & Mirroring are tactics to gain your favour. These will come from a narcissist you’re just getting to know and they’re trying to convince you they’re your perfect partner, soulmate, best friend, ideal lover. Love bombing is showering you with over-the-top affection and support, they’re likely to see what works best on you, then give you just that. They’ll convince you that you’re special and make you feel special, whether it’s with attention, gifts, promises, love phrases, or making you look and feel very good in front of other people. If they can spin this as fate or destiny, they will. You have one lucky coincidence? It’s destiny that you met. They’ll create the image of ‘it’s us against the world’ and convince you that they’re all you need to never be alone, unappreciated or unhappy again. They will say phrases like 'We were born to be together’ or 'You’re the only one who understands’ and make you feel like you’re in a romance film. Mirroring is the way to convince you that they are just like you, your perfect match. They do this by pretending they want the same things as you. All of your opinions will be shared, your desires will be their desires too, however you want to live, that’s now their ideal life too. If you want children, so do they, if you want to live in a cottage, so do they.

These will be repeated until you feel like you finally got something perfect from life, you commit to them and trust them completely. You will become lenient with your boundaries and disregard minor red flags, because hey, you finally found love, or someone like yourself who makes your life better. These are crucial to keep you around for a long time; the illusion of happiness and perfect companionship you always wanted will keep you holding onto them in hope that things could once again, be this perfect for you. You will not want to let go of them even after the love bombing and mirroring is long gone. Love bombing and mirroring are not indicative of how they’re planning to treat you once you’re committed to them; as soon as they feel you are ready to fight for a life with them, roles will change and you will have to endure escalating abuse from this person, endlessly.

Scapegoats and people badly damaged by trauma will often not get the full love bombing or mirroring, narcissists will be able to win our devotion by acts of basic decency, small thoughtfulness and acting tolerant of our trauma symptoms, this will feel like everything to us, and once we decide this is a good, special person who makes us feel safe and we’d do anything for them, they’ll turn and exploit us endlessly.

Only way to spot this on time is: there will be a little voice of suspicion in your head going ’Isn’t this actually a little too perfect to be real? A little too convenient and ideal?’ and you will not want to listen to that voice. You should listen to it. It’s your instinct, trying to tell you something is off. I won’t blame you if you don’t. Most people won’t just walk away from their ideal partner because things seem 'too perfect’. But, get suspicious at least. Alert to red flags.

Enablers and Flying Monkeys

Narcissists can’t abuse if they’re on their own; they will work hard to build a reputation and charm people who they can later use for purposes of enabling, triangulating, controlling, scapegoating and smear campaigns. Enablers, or Flying Monkeys, are people who are either admiring the narcissists, want to be in narcissists good favour, are trauma bond and scared of the narcissists, are emotionally manipulated or simply too cowardly to point out that the narcissists is wrong and cruel. Most people will fall under the influence and want to be on narcissists side because it’s easier, tempting, feels safer, and doesn’t require much thinking. Narcissist will sometimes emotionally manipulate people to go do their dirty work; they will cry about how they miss their runaway children so flying monkeys would harass and judge children for running away, they will invent stories of abuse and insanity of their spouse so people would shame and judge the spouse who the narcissist is abusing. They create environment in which they can keep abusing and other people will jump to defend, justify, victim-blame and further confuse the victim. “They had a hard life”, “They’re your mother/father/uncle, you have to forgive them” or “He’s not that bad” are the phrases you’ll hear from enablers and flying monkeys. The term “Flying Monkey” is taken from the Wizard of Oz, because the Wicked Witch owned an army of brainless flying monkeys who would do her bidding – much how narcissists do with their enablers.

What enablers are doing is absolutely wrong. They should not be ready to defend abuse, or excuse and justify it, or believe and act on smear campaigns, not for any reason. They are hurting and isolating the victim, and regardless of how much they suck up to the narcissist, they will eventually become the targets too. Victims are right to cut out enablers just how they’re right to cut out abusers. You do not have to suffer for their cowardice or stupidity.

Triangulation is a form of abuse where narcissist brings another person into the relationship in order to bypass your boundary. For instance, you refuse to speak to the narcissist, so they send your family members, friends, or their friends, to talk to you about how much you’re hurting the narcissist and how cruel and unfair you’re being. Or, you’re trying to set a boundary in your marriage, and suddenly a friend or a relative comes talking to you about how unreasonable it is to set such awful boundary and to think of your spouse’s feelings and how bad they have it. Narcissist may try to use you for triangulation too, for example, they might tell you 'Go tell your sister she should do xyz and she’s making a mistake, she’ll listen to you’. It’s implied you agree with the narcissist, and that both of you are doing it for the sister’s good, when it’s more likely the narcissist is trying to force this person to do something they’re deeply set against and would only serve the narcissist. Narcissists will use their children to triangulate a marriage, they will often 'gang up’ other family members on their spouse, or one of the children. If you’re the victim, you’ll find yourself cornered, isolated, and in doubt whether you’re doing the right thing, trying to establish a boundary. Narcissists will also often show affection, compassion or even love to a third person simply to make you jealous and worried that something is wrong with you since you don’t get the same treatment. It’s what creates an illusion that the entire world is agreeing with the narcissist and no matter what you do, you look unreasonable for fighting them.

Narcissists will sometimes invent completely boogus scenarios and try to terrify people into doing their bidding and believing they’re right. As if the world will fall if narcissists don’t get what they want.

Society at large will often enable abusers; you can call out abuse and be rendered a 'killjoy’ because people prefer to enjoy cruelty together with the narcissist than to oppose them. Narcissists are capable of rousing a whole gang of people to turn against the victim and to aid in their abuse; this is scapegoating.

Gaslighting is a form of abuse where the abuser attacks your sense of reality. They will usually do this to obscure and deny acts of abuse. “I never said that” “That didn’t happen” “That’s not how I remember it” “You imagined it” or “You’re crazy, I would never do that!” are common gaslighting phrases abusers use for events that absolutely happened, and they absolutely remember. It’s even more powerful if they get other people to agree that you’re insane for remembering a past event of abuse. They can sometimes try to convince you that something didn’t occur while it’s still happening. This renders your intention of calling out abuse impossible; you’re now debating whether the event even happened and your sanity is questioned.

The point of this is to drive you into insanity; prolonged gaslighting will make you doubt your own memories and senses, and you will no longer be secure in your own point of view or version of reality. You will not be able to fight abuse, because you will get stuck on wondering if it’s even real, or if you’re making it up. Narcissist wants not only to abuse you, but to control your perception of it, reaction of it, and to disable you from telling anyone and being taken seriously. Smear campaign and gaslighting ensures that everyone thinks you’re lying to make problems, even you.

You can attempt to block gaslighting with phrases like 'That was not my experience’ 'I know the truth and I am not debating it with you’ ’ Don’t tell me what happened, I was there’ or ridiculing them for thinking it would work, but sometimes abuse will escalate if you refuse to play along, so be very careful with them.

Baiting, Projection and Scapegoating

Baiting is the way narcissist finds out which triggers will work on you. Types of baits are: Scaremongering, Accusations, False Claims, Guilt-tripping, Victim-playing, False Hope, or Intrigue. They will use these to elicit either fear&anxiety, or guilt&responsibility. You are likely to get pulled in and respond emotionally to these, and thus the narcissist will discover which one of these is most triggering and they can use it to either control you, or to affirm that they can still get you riled up, scared, guilty – they feed on being able to provoke these, it makes them feel powerful. They can later use the same trigger to push you into guilt and fear if you try to resist their control. If they continue doing this to you for a long time, you are likely to develop self-doubt and anxiety about your own persona. Way to counter this is to grey rock them.

Projection is a primitive defense-mechanism, where a person feels uncomfortable with their behaviour or thinking, so they accuse someone else of it to deflect the bad feelings from themselves. This can feel the same as baiting, but narcissists do it without realizing they’re giving you the information about what they’re actually feeling and doing. For instance, a narcissist will accuse you of being self-absorbed after they start feeling uncomfortable with how self-absorbed they are, they will start to call you selfish when it comes to their mind how selfish they are. They will accuse you of the exact shit they’ve been doing whether it’s lying, manipulating, faking for attention, cheating, exploiting, lacking compassion, stealing. These claims will feel like they’re coming out of nowhere at first, but eventually you will wonder if you’re really like that, and accept their projection on yourself, believing to really be as bad, or worse than they are. Even though they’ve done 100% of these things, while you have done none of it. This can also be countered by being aware what is going on and grey-rocking them. Deflecting the blame back to them will not work because they’ll either deflect it back, or throw a tantrum and insult you.

Scapegoating is the most vicious abuse narcissist can inflict on their victims and is designed to completely break a person’s spirit while creating power out of terror. Scapegoating doesn’t only serve to terrify and control the victim; it shows everyone what the narcissist is capable of, causing them to go very far to avoid becoming the next scapegoat. This creates enablers, flying monkeys and other benefits for narcissist to enjoy, while the scapegoat is isolated, not believed, and often shunned by the community to show loyalty to the narcissist.

Scapegoat will be blamed for every narcissists flaw, accused of provocation and creating trouble, shamed for their likes and interests, humiliated for their appearance or needs, their work will be rendered worthless and any pain and injury will be treated as if the scapegoat deserved it, or wanted it. Nothing is out of bounds to criticize or belittle in the scapegoat; flying monkeys will do it too, to either affirm themselves with the narcissist, or because they too crave power by stepping on someone defenseless. If a narcissistic parent decides to scapegoat a child, the other parent might stop caring for the child, and agree that the child deserves only to be neglected and shunned. The illusion narcissists create, of entire society agreeing that a person is irredeemable, deserving only of pain and ridicule, has turned people to suicide.

Scapegoat absorbs all of the narcissist’s malice, cruelty, sadism, baiting, projection, guilt and tantrums, so other people in the environment can get some relief and can use the scapegoat as their shield. You can be chosen to be a scapegoat for challenging the narcissist and standing up to them, for refusing to scapegoat someone else, for seeing thru them and showing any potential for undermining their authority, if narcissist is jealous of you, if narcissist feels threatened by your intellect, compassion and emotional depth they lack. And often, you’ll just be chosen because they’re in position of power and you’re unprotected. If you’re their child, a lonely classmate, employee with no high reputation or lots of friends, a minority, different in the way of sexuality or behaviour, anything that is easily used to sway a group of people against you. Narcissists will make sure to spread a smear campaign filled with lies against you, so that nobody would align with you, or believe you if you try to counter their word.

This type of treatment is beyond anything a human being could deserve, and devastating for the victim’s self esteem and sense of reality. After surviving a scapegoating situation, people might not want to find themselves in any social setting anymore. They might start believing themselves to be unlovable and defective. There is usually no way to counter it or fight your way out, unless there’s a higher authority who could side with you, or there’s a way to physically remove yourself from this environment.

Grey Rock, Hoovering and No Contact

Grey rock is a way to counter baiting and projection; narcissists learn and thrive on our emotional responses, it gives them a thrill to be able to send us into rage, terror, disbelief, shock or panic. Grey rocking means you give zero emotional response, and thus prove yourself very boring and a bad source of narcissistic supply. So, regardless of what egregious threat, accusation, claim or insult they make, you just reply with 'mhmm’ and look completely disinterested. You reply with one-word sentences, say 'sure’ or 'yup’ if they accuse you of something or try to fearmonger, answer questions with 'maybe’ or 'I don’t know’, agree with whatever bs they’re pulling out of their ass without caring, refuse to get pulled in or baited, give them no significance in the conversation until they leave. It is very hard to do, because they will up their game and even fly into rage to get a response, if they feel entitled to it. In some cases they might resort to violence. Often, they’ll keep changing the tactics until something works, and if nothing does, they’ll feel dejected and go find another source of supply. If they feel like they can’t get to you, this undermines their imagined power over you.

No contact is the only way to truly win against a narcissist; if they can’t reach you, they can’t manipulate or hurt you. This means no responding to messages, no letting them know where you live, blocking them on every service, and in most situations, even the enablers have to be no contact, because the narcissist is likely to send them into triangulation and use them to get to you. If you’re unable to go no-contact with a narcissist, a lot of people opt for 'low contact’, which means you only hear from them once a year, or once every 6 months, insufficient for them to gain control over you, and you grey-rock them all the way, and never share any personal info that might be used against you. Hoovering is something a narcissist will do to you after you’ve left them. They might leave you alone for a long time, then suddenly send a message saying they miss you, or they’re thinking about you and wishing you could do xyz together. They might also influence another person to tell you 'x misses you, they wish to see you again, they’re doing bad without you’. This is done to remind you of the 'good times’ and an attempt to draw you back in, as you’re supposed to have forgotten all the abuse already and be ready to take them back. It might come as outrageous expectation or denial of everything bad that happened – that’s because it is. All you have to do is grey-rock this, not respond, and enjoy in knowledge that even if you can’t ensure revenge, you can take yourself away from them, and they will never have you back.

Sources: Baiting, Scapegoating, LoveBombing, Gaslighting(video), Projection(video), Triangulation, Mirroring(video), FlyingMonkeys (video), Hoovering, Grey Rock

#narcissistic abuse #scapegoating #psychological abuse #narcissistic parents #emotional abuse #gaslighting #love bombing #mirroring #baiting #projection #triangulation #flying monkeys #enablers #this took 3 days to write wow #did you notice tumblr beta has a character limit???#i had to turn it off to be able to post this #i don't want a character limit on tumblr #let people read

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oscar-lettjohanssonloveme · 3 years

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My Beautiful Girl (Cordelia Goode x plus-size!reader)

request: (by anon) May I request something for plus size reader x Miss Venable or Cordelia Goode? Thank you!

summary: somedays you feel really insecure in your body.

warnings: body insecurities

a/n: just a quick reminder: u are beautiful. uhm don't expect too much, its not that good(e) :’D

google translate :’D

"Honey?"

"Mhh?"

"Why are you wearing a bra?"

That was probably one of the weirdest questions Cordelia had ever asked you.

You turned around in confusion to look into the worried face of your girlfriend, who had climbed into bed and was now leaning over you,

"Why not?" You replied indifferently, even though you knew inwardly why she was confused.

"I uh- you never wear underwear under your pajamas," Cordelia explained as she brushed her own strand of hair from your face. You shrugged your shoulders.

"Lots of women do that," you said curtly, watching Cordelia narrow her eyes.

"Isn't that unhealthy or something like that?"

"Well I don't know," you muttered and looked away from her to stare at your bedside lamp.

"Google it, if you care."

You heard Cordelia sigh before reaching for your chin to force your gaze back to her.

"The only thing I care about is why you wear a bra now, you don't usually do that."

You rolled your eyes in annoyance.

"I can wear whatever I want. It's not a big deal. You- Delia, I'm really tired, okay? And I really don't feel like talking to you about what's under my pajamas."

Cordelia didn't answer and just looked at you for a few seconds. You hated it when she did that. Simply because you could never read that look and you never knew what was going on in her head.

Of course you had a reason you left your bra on, but you never would have wanted to tell Cordelia about it, simply because it was a very sensitive topic ... Self-love was weird. You always found, that you were someone, who had a lot of love to give, but strangely enough, it was never enough for yourself.

Usually you were in tune with your body, you accepted it and sometimes you even found yourself beautiful. But then there were days when all it took was a judgmental look, that suddenly made you feel ugly. You just wanted to be invisible and as small as possible on those days, but unfortunately, that was impossible because everything about you was so big. Your legs, your breasts, your stomach ... just big. Too big for your taste.

Those days you wanted nobody to see you. You couldn't even look at yourself without wanting to cry. Beauty was just a stupid illusion, like normally looking at yourself through a filter and then there were those days when that filter was suddenly gone and you saw reality. It was gross and definitely not a topic you liked to talk about.

And today was one of those days. And you'd just wanted to keep your stupid bra on, because it made you feel safe and you hoped to hide your body under it. Although the whole thing was ridiculous, Cordelia was your girlfriend and had seen you naked so many times and besides, she was the last person who would judge you, you knew that. Unfortunately, the problem these days wasn't just, that you looked ugly.. Another problem was that Cordelia, the perfect Cordelia, could see you. And those days you just couldn't understand why she was wasting her time on you of all people.

"Of course you can wear whatever you want, I didn't mean to make you feel insecure," she said suddenly and pulled you out of your thoughts about your own ugliness. Your girlfriend leaned over to turn off your bedside lamp before leaning down and pressing her lips against your temple for a moment.

"Good night honey," she muttered.

You felt her lay down behind you before wrapping her arms around your waist. Bad idea.

Immediately you froze in her grip and inadvertently pulled in your stomach. For a few minutes the two of you lay there in silence, not realizing that you had been holding your breath, when Cordelia finally pulled back and switched the light back on.

"Okay, what's wrong?" She asked without sounding reproachful. You turned your head to her and saw, that she had leaned her back against the headboard.

God she was so beautiful it was almost a curse. The blonde angel curls that curled on her white nightgown. Her pure skin and then the brown eyes that glinted down on you with concern.

"Nothing is wrong," you mumbled as you sat up too, leaning against the headboard of the bed like her.

"I can see that something is", Delia replied and you tried to ignore her penetrating gaze by staring down into your lap.

"I am fine."

"You lie."

"I dont lie."

"Y / N, you are lying," Cordelia muttered, shaking her head.

"I thought we'd always be honest with each other."

You felt a little stitch in your chest when you heard her words, because she was right. Usually you always talked to her about the things that bothered you, just as she talked to you.

"I'm okay," you said, looking at her again to smile carefully.

"It's just .. you know, sometimes you have those days when all the disgusting comments, that people have ever made about you and that you have almost repressed crash into your brain and pull you down at the same time, don't you?" you asked and looked at her expectantly.

"I uh- actually not," Cordelia admitted honestly. You looked away from her again and shook your head. Of course she didn't know that. Cordelia looked so perfect and the things people said about you only applied to you, not to her.

"Is it again about that you are not a witch or what-?" Cordelia asked further.

"Jesus, no".

You nervously stared down at your fingers in your lap.

Actually, you would have told Cordelia about it, had you not only been so sensitive about this topic. It wasn't easy to admit how weak you actually felt in your body.

"Cordelia you are the supreme, you know everything anyway," you said desperately.

"That's really cute, honey, but I don't know everything and that's why I want you to talk to me, okay?"

Cordelia grabbed your hand and you just wanted to push it away. As if you with your strange body were worth for her touch.

You raised your eyes again to meet hers, which were filled with love.

Cordelia was your girlfriend and you loved her so much, that it was actually unfair that you were lying to her right now.

"It's my body," you said quietly. Unfortunately a little too quiet, because she couldn't hear you.

"What?", Delia asked confused as she ran her thumbs over the back of your hand. You swallowed and tried to blink away the tears that filled your eyes.

"My body, Cordelia," you said a little louder now.

"What's wrong with that?"

"Oh god".

You wanted to scream out loud, it was frustrating. It was obvious to you and you wondered if she was really that stupid or if she was just pretending to be.

"I just- I hate it, that's it," you finally hissed, lowering your gaze to your hand, which was still in hers. Cordelia's thumb, which had still rubbed the back of your hand lightly, stopped for a moment and you heard Cordelia let out a soft "Oh".

"Why don't you tell me that?" She asked in a low voice and you could hear the sadness in it.

"I don't know, it's complicated", you pinched the bridge of your nose with your free hand.

"It's not always like this, just some days."

"..and today is one of those days ?", added Cordelia and you nodded slowly.

"Oh honey" Cordelia sighed as she leaned forward to pull you into her arms, but you almost automatically jumped off the bed.

"Cordelia I- uhm .." you stuttered and crossed your arms over your chest.

"The problem isn't actually, that I hate myself on those days. You know, I'm always good enough for myself, but .."

You interrupted yourself and looked at Cordelia thoughtfully for a few seconds. It was actually ridiculous. You knew, that Cordelia chose you, even though she could have anyone. That meant that she still had to feel something for you. But for you it was just not understandable, simply because all you felt for yourself was hate. At least on days like this.

"But?" Repeated Cordelia, getting up from the bed to walk over to you, but still with enough distance.

"But you," you mumbled quietly without looking at her.

"You are so- i dont know, beautiful. And I'm so .. so ugly, I guess? You can see that it is kind of weird, right?"

You looked back at your girlfriend, which was a bad idea. Cordelia looked at you so sadly, that you immediately regretted telling her that. Actually, it was a stupid decision. It was much easier to live, when people thought you were happy in your body and now you had openly shown Delia how weak and vulnerable you actually were and that because of something you couldn't change. It was your body, the weird thing that you always had to carry around with you, even though you would like to lock it in your closet.

"You are beautiful, Y / N," Delia suddenly said firmly. But it felt like a lie. If your perception made you feel like you were ugly, then she could only lie.

"Cordelia, thats-" you started in a thick voice, but she interrupted you to repeat her words.

"You're beautiful."

The pain these words caused in you was indescribable.

On the one hand, that was what you wanted to hear. You were an woman, who needed a lot of confirmation. Yet on the other hand, you knew it was a lie. As if Cordelia had sinned when those words left her tongue.

"You .. you don't have to say this to make me feel better," you muttered and Cordelia shook her head.

"I'm not saying this to make you feel better. I'm saying this, because it's the truth. Y / N, you're beautiful and you have no idea how sad it makes me to see, that you can't understand this."

"I don't know," you sighed. "It's actually stupid."

"Oh yeah it's stupid, when you say you are ugly when you are actually so beautiful. You have to believe me, Y / N. I would never lie to you. And besides, if I found you unattractive, we wouldn't be here now."

Cordelia crossed her arms over her chest and looked at you again.

"Maybe you're just doing this out of pity," you said and immediately realized how stupid it all sounded.

"Pity?" Cordelia repeated with raised eyebrows and you just nodded.

The blonde took a step towards you and before you could react, she held your face between her hands.

"You are beautiful, Y / N," she repeated her words for the third time.

"You are so many things, but definitely not ugly. And even if you can't see that, you have to trust me, that I would never lie to you and I think, that you are perfect the way you are, do you understand?"

Your face was only a few inches from hers and you could look straight into her brown eyes. And while you couldn't really believe Cordelia's words, she was right: she definitely wasn't going to lie to you.

"Whenever you have one of those days,, I want you to come to me right away. I want us to work together, to make you feel good in your body and that you don't have to feel like you have to hide from me and therefore keep your bra on at night. You are so beautiful Y / N and you deserve to know, that's why I want you to talk to me about it, no matter how uncomfortable it is for you. I love you so much and I want you to be able to love yourself too. "

Cordelia was still staring at you and you noticed, that she hadn't blinked a single time while she was speaking. As if she knew what magic there was in her beautiful eyes.

"Okay," you finally mumbled and immediately her gaze relaxed.

"Thank you darling".

"You don't have to say thank you," Cordelia said, smiling gently.

"That you are beautiful is a fact and not a decision or an opinion."

"Thank you anyway, your words mean a lot to me."

You leaned over carefully to kiss her gently. Your hands fell on her hips while she still held your face in her hands.

"You are so so beautiful, honey," Cordelia whispered against your lips and repeated her words again as she ran her thumbs over your cheeks.

"Do you feel safe enough to finally take off your bra now?"

You pulled back and looked at her uncertainly for a moment.

"Only if you want and if you are fine with it," Delia added and you nodded slowly.

Cordelia smiled gently.

"Great". she muttered.

"May I-?"

She pointed to the corner of your nightgown and again you nodded slowly before you felt Delia carefully grabbing the hem of your nightgown to pull it over your head.

You could hear Delia throwing the nightgown on the floor next to you. Her cool fingers wandered behind your back to unhook your bra, which also slid to the floor.

"I love every inch of your skin, so please don't hide from me," Cordelia whispered as she put her hands on your hips and started rubbing your skin with her thumb.

"My beautiful girl."

#cordelia goode x reader #cordelia goode imagine #sarah paulson x reader #sarah paulson imagine #american horror story

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mbti-notes · 4 years

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I'm an isfj. I know someone with serious mental illness and I don't feel very compassionate when I hear about his life. I feel pity, I feel very helpless/powerless and angry, I feel guilty, or I feel uncomfortable and want to turn away coz it's scary that people's lives can go really badly. I feel really selfish being like that and I don't want to be this kind of person. How can I nurture more compassion?

Assuming typical brain development, you are born with the capacity to empathize. Empathy is an important part of human genetic history because we needed it for survival, specifically for successful cooperation. To work together well, we must understand each other well, we must support each other’s efforts well, and we must help each other contribute well. As with any raw, inborn capability, it’s up to you to develop it to its higher potential through the choices that you make. Your choices have decreased your ability to empathize. There are two common obstacles to overcome in the process of empathy development:

1) Egocentrism: People at low levels of ego development aren’t able to empathize because they aren’t able to recognize other people as subjects. Do you understand the difference between a subject and an object? Many people only know the difference in theory but can’t apply it. In English grammar, a subject is the “active” part of the sentence, e.g., the person who is doing something. By contrast, the object is the “passive” part of the sentence, e.g., the person who is having something done to them. This basic grammatical structure belies the framework that the mind uses to understand relationships in the world.

Everybody has their own experience, which means that your understanding of reality begins from your own personal vantage point - you see yourself as a subject, experiencing and doing things in the world. Your vantage point includes things like your self-concept, thoughts, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, judgments, schemas, triggers, past experiences, etc. When you look out into the world through your vantage point, you don’t see the world as it is, rather, you merely see the world as it gets interpreted through the content of your vantage point. A simple example: When you look at a painting, what happens? All you see is a canvas with some colored paint smeared all over it? If that’s all you see, then you’re either not human or you don’t have a personality. No, for instance, as ISFJ, you see the colors and whether you like them, you see the image and how it makes you feel, you see the style and how it compares to the aesthetic styles that you’re already familiar with, and so on.

The same principle holds true when you deal with people. You, the subject, acts upon the other person, the object, with the contents of your vantage point. You don’t see people as they really are but only as you want/expect/hope them to be - it’s all about you. For example: You think about how they make YOU feel, when in fact, they’re not purposely doing anything to make you feel anything. You think about who they remind YOU of, when in fact, they bear no relation to the people you’ve known before. You think about whether YOU are better/worse than them, when in fact, they are simply a person with strengths and weaknesses just like you. And so on.

There’s nothing wrong with having your own vantage point, as we all have every right to our own existence. However, the problem arises when you never learn or never acknowledge that there’s more to the world than your own vantage point, which means that you are, in essence, completely confined by it psychologically. In short, your vantage point gets in your way instead of aiding you. Egocentrism makes it difficult to empathize because you don’t really see people, rather, you only ever see aspects of yourself as you constantly project the contents of your vantage point onto them. This creates ego drama, as you are more concerned with your experience and how you’re reacting than what’s actually going on with the other person. When you’re not grasping the truth of someone, how can you know the most appropriate way to relate to them, comfort them, help them, or guide them, especially when their experience is very different from yours? You’ll be grasping at straws.

Therefore, empathy requires the ability to transcend egocentrism, essentially, to stop approaching the world as though your own experience is all there is (oblivious) or all that matters (narcissist). To have meta-awareness of your egocentrism and understand how it holds you back (in limiting your perception and distorting your judgment) is to create the space to choose differently, i.e., to refuse to be a slave to ego drama. When you finally wake up fully to the fact that you aren’t the center of the world but rather only one equal part of a greater whole, you will possess the humility that is necessary for empathy. Humility refers to the ability to put yourself into the right perspective. A genuinely humble person knows their rightful place because they are no longer a slave to the ego dramas that create craving for strength and superiority and/or fear of weakness and inferiority. Humility allows you to stop treating people like objects and respect them as subjects in their own right. In other words, their experience is just as important to them as yours is to you, and you are both fully equal in that respect, so you know to honor their existence, as you honor your own. This is the basis of the classic golden rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

What does humility look like in real-life relationships? It looks like LISTENING. To be a good listener is to listen without all the biases, prejudices, and judgments of your ego dramas. Reasonable and sound judgment comes only AFTER you have collected all the facts, which requires listening - only then should you be trying to apply what you know to their experience. But you won’t be capable of listening well if your ego drama is always twisting the facts or if your ego drama always gets triggered every time you interact with someone. To truly hear someone is no small feat. Not everyone who talks about their struggles wants “help”. A lot of human problems arise from never feeling truly seen and heard. Therefore, to be a great friend is, first and foremost, to have the ability to see and hear someone and receive their experience without judgment. Once you are capable of listening empathetically, compassionate action naturally follows.

2) Poor Emotional Intelligence: I have already written about this, so you should read the articles provided. It’s obvious from your description that you have poor emotional intelligence. The development of emotional intelligence is correlated with the development of the F function, so you struggle with using Fe properly. Being confronted by your friend’s struggle with mental illness, your emotions get triggered, your ego dramas start playing out, and in the end, you are stuck in your own head trying to make sense of what’s happening. Your attention isn’t on your friend, is it? You’re not really listening.

It’s common for people who struggle with empathy to frame the problem as “me versus them” - either I protect my own experience or I surrender to theirs. This defensive attitude is rooted in egocentrism. There’s “me”, there’s “them”, and there’s “us”. When you are egocentric, all that really matters to you is "me”, and "they” are only important insofar as they impact you. In “me vs them” mentality, you don’t want to feel any negative disruptions from the outside world, so you close yourself off to emotional influence (a common symptom of Ti loop). By being defensive, you are directly hampering Fe development. Without healthy Fe, establishing a sense of “us” in a relationship is impossible, because the wall of defensive fear never allows anyone to actually reach you. But what about the other side of F dysfunction, such as the people pleasers of the world? They are also egocentric in that they only care about their craving for acceptance and affirmation - it is still ego drama all the same. People pleasers give the illusion of not caring about “me” to get what they want from “them”, but it is actually all about ME and getting them to like ME, not about “us”.

When you have poor emotional intelligence, you aren’t able to accept and resolve your own feelings and emotions, which results in them becoming self-inflicted obstacles - they get in the way of good judgment. Having good emotional intelligence means knowing how to put feelings and emotions into the right perspective, such that they inform you to make BETTER decisions. Resistance to your own emotional life means damaging your decision-making ability as well as resisting all the negative things out in the world. When you encounter negativity in someone else, it reflects back to you your own negativity, and thus begins your ego drama of fighting and trying to bury the negativity in yourself. You are at least aware enough to honestly describe what you feel when you encounter someone that triggers you, but you don’t have the ability to resolve those negative feelings.

One of the main problems of poor emotional intelligence is not being able to tell the difference between thoughts and feelings. Feelings are simple, all you have to do is say, “I feel sad” or “I feel guilty”. That’s it. That’s a feeling. Once you start to say more, once you start to talk about the feeling, then you’re having thoughts. Feelings need not become anything more than what they are, and they come and go like the wind. But thoughts are complicated because they are about analyzing, evaluating, believing, speculating, etc. Thoughts stick to you in the form of ideas and beliefs, and they impair your judgment when you’re not addressing the underlying negativity that creates them. People often try to think their feelings away (i.e. rationalization), which doesn’t resolve anything and even spins you out of control.

You say that you feel guilty when hearing about his suffering. If you feel guilty, then feel guilty. Do you believe that there’s something wrong with feeling guilty? Is it not normal to feel bad for having more than someone when you’re an empathetic person who hopes that everyone can find their happiness? You say that hearing your friend makes you feel uncomfortable because you’re scared of confronting negativity. If you feel scared, then feel scared. Do you believe that there’s something wrong with feeling scared? Is it not normal to feel scared when imagining negative things that could threaten your survival? Why do you view feelings as abnormal or as something to be banished out of yourself? It’s a form of self-loathing.

From these two examples, do you understand that it is your own inability to accept yourself and your feelings that is the root of the problem? As SJ, it is typical to be more concerned with being “proper” than being real, so you consistently deny the truth about yourself because you don’t want to see the many ways that you are “improper”. Resisting your negative feelings and the truth that they reveal about your impropriety only feeds the negativity as you start judging yourself harshly, calling yourself “selfish”, thus your negativity escalates into ego drama and throws you for a loop. By contrast, if you were to simply allow your feelings to inform you about the truth of what’s happening with you and accept that truth gracefully, there would be no need for negative feelings to turn into a big ego drama.

In the history of psychology, the humanist psychologist Carl Rogers was perhaps best known for his ability to empathize very deeply. He said: “If I let myself really understand another person, I might be changed by that understanding. And we all fear change. So as I say, it is not an easy thing to permit oneself to understand an individual.”

If you fear change, if you fear your heart being disrupted, if you fear confronting what is strange and unknown to you, if you are easily threatened by difference or negativity, if you fear feeling the heavy moral responsibility of helping someone in need, then you will fear the act of empathizing with people, because they may, at any moment, say/do something that turns your world upside-down. It is that fear which keeps you closed off and stuck within yourself, refusing to empathize when you clearly have the ability to empathize. It’s up to you to acknowledge the fear, accept it, and let it go. Until you make that conscious choice, you are merely stuck on your side of the wall, never able to truly see past it. Only by letting someone into your world, being emotionally strong enough to feel touched without feeling undone, can you establish a connection with them. Once you’re connected to someone emotionally, compassion comes easily (and that is the basis of having a healthy F function).

#isfj #auxiliary fe #ti loop #empathy #compassion #egocentrism #emotional intelligence #defense mechanisms #self compassion #fear #morality #ask

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ghost-party · 3 years

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Pairing: Nanami Kento x OC Word Count: 1.7K Warnings: illness, distant relationship with parents, cheating, low self-confidence A/N: As promised, this chapter is from Olivia’s perspective. I’m still trying to figure out the POV for Part 4. Possibly both...? We’ll see! In the meantime, I hope you enjoy. 😊

When Olivia wakes, it takes her a moment to figure out where she is. Definitely not in her bed. Slowly blinking, her TV comes into focus, and she can feel the early morning sunlight through the balcony windows. Okay. The couch. Easy enough. But why does it feel so... warm?

When she turns her head, she immediately freezes, eyes wide. Lying beneath her, head resting on a throw pillow, is Nanami.

Her brain is slow and sleepy as she struggles to recall the previous night. Soup. Medicine. Movie. And... Oh no. She had fallen asleep. And then he had fallen asleep. And now she’s lying on top of him.

To say she’s never thought about being in this position would be a lie. But now faced with the reality of it, she’s not sure what to do. Every muscle in her body feels rigid with nerves, and she can’t seem to look away from his face. His expression is softened by sleep, lips slightly parted, hair falling across his forehead... Looking this good so early in the morning — while asleep — should be illegal.

Olivia feels heat rising in her cheeks the longer she stares. And it only intensifies when she realizes that his arms are around her, holding her body tight against his.

She knows she should wake him up. But he looks so peaceful, in a way she’s not sure he ever does while he’s awake. Since the day she met him, she has been learning him, from his body language to the almost-imperceptible shifts in his expression, including his rare, soft smiles. She has grown attentive to all of his details and mannerisms.

Because Olivia Vale has a bad habit. And his name is Nanami Kento.

• • •

It wasn’t every day that a man walked into her bookshop and just happened to pick up a copy of one of her favorite books.

During those two hours that he sat at the back window, completely immersed in Homer’s Odyssey, Olivia had kept busy, occasionally sneaking glances at him as she shelved titles — as if to reassure herself that he wasn’t just a figment of her imagination.

It didn’t help that he was handsome. Dressed in a tailored tan suit and that speckled tie, his light hair combed neatly back from his face, which was sculpted like a piece of fine art — prominent cheekbones, strong jawline, serious mouth... Repeatedly, she reminded herself that he was a customer. Ogling him, while enjoyable, was inappropriate. Besides, if she had to guess — and when it came to reading people, she was usually right — he was in desperate need of some peace and quiet. And she was happy to give that to him, at least until she broke down and offered him a cup of tea.

And then something unexpected happened. He kept coming back. As the weeks passed, she learned more about him, and he became a friend rather than a customer. (But he still bought books, almost every time he came in.)

He worked as a consultant. He didn’t share many details, but it seemed like a sensitive subject, so she never pushed. Even though he always entered her shop wearing a peculiar pair of armless sunglasses — and had worn them through their entire first meeting — he would now take them off and tuck them into his jacket pocket when they sat down to talk. He wasn’t very close with his family. His parents split their time between Japan and Denmark, where his grandfather lived. He was an admitted foodie with a soft spot for bread. This was proven when he walked in one afternoon carrying a whole bag of baguettes from the café next door. He was generally patient, but he sometimes griped about an unnamed coworker — a man with plenty of talent but an obnoxious demeanor.

She learned that he’s sharply intelligent and earnest. But he’s also kind and thoughtful, asking her questions about her life and the books she loves most and things she’s always wished she could talk about with another person.

It took her a while to admit to herself that she had feelings for him that went beyond simple friendship. Now, she’s still grappling with the knowledge, afraid of ruining what they have between them. But it also doesn’t help that her last relationship completely crashed and burned. Finding out that her boyfriend of two years had been cheating on her for one of them, with her former college roommate... Well, it didn’t exactly leave her feeling eager to jump into something new. Instead, she was hesitant and nervous, doubting her perceptiveness for the first time in her life. Because if she had been wrong about him, what if she was wrong about the next person who came along?

She hasn’t been on a date in over a year, despite the florist next door continually insisting on setting Olivia up with her investment banker son. She honestly didn’t think much about it until now. While the fear remains, stubbornly persistent, she knows that Nanami is different. And she knows him — trusts what she sees in him every time he visits. They’ve spent enough hours talking and learning about one another to nearly qualify as several dates. Just minus the actual “date” part...

It was only a week ago that they sat downstairs, each reading a different book, listening to the faint sounds of jazz on her father’s old record player. And she decided there and then that she needed to take a leap of faith. Even if the idea of doing so was terrifying.

• • •

“Morning.”

Nanami’s voice brings her back to the present, and she looks up, meeting his sleepy gaze. Seriously, it’s criminal, how good he looks right now, she silently grumbles. And it’s impossible not to notice that he has yet to attempt to extricate himself from beneath her — or even loosen his firm grip around her waist.

“Hi.”

They stare at each other for a long moment, until her anxious brain interrupts. He’s still waking up. You need to be the responsible one here, before you do something stupid.

With a small, awkward laugh, she gently pushes away from him, and he releases her. She climbs off the couch, until she’s sitting on the floor beside him. “I guess we were both pretty tired.”

She watches as he sits up. Runs a hand through his hair. Looks down at himself, blearily taking in his wrinkled shirt and comically-loose tie. “Seems like it.” He looks at her with concern. “How are you feeling?”

“Better than I sound, I promise.” It’s the truth. Although her voice is still weak from all the coughing, her body has fewer aches and chills than it did when she woke up yesterday. And much to her private embarrassment, she’s fairly certain she slept better here, on the couch with him, than she has in weeks.

“Are you hungry?”

“Why? Are you going to pull some breakfast out of your magic grocery bag?”

He snorts. “I was going to offer to cook something.”

Oh no... Her heart couldn’t handle this. He came over when she was sick, brought her soup and a literal armful of supplies, spent the night in her apartment (even though that was an accident), and now he’s going to cook for her?

She’s done for.

But what she says is, “Sure. You’re welcome to use whatever’s in there.”

He nods and stands, pulling his tie off and tossing it over his jacket. His movements seem different as he continues to wake up — less precise, softer. When he rolls up his sleeves, revealing lean, muscular forearms, she feels faint.

Okay, now she’s done for.

He ends up using some of the ingredients she had purchased for her next solo cooking adventure. And, in what seems like an absurdly short amount of time, they’re sitting at the dining table, eating rice, miso soup, grilled fish, and freshly-sliced fruit. When he pours her a cup of green tea, she feels like her heart might burst. She never knew he was so domestic, and it has her in a flustered panic.

“You’re an amazing cook,” she says, to both show sincere appreciation and distract herself.

“Thank you.” He smiles, pleased by the compliment. “I find it enjoyable. But usually I’m just cooking for myself.”

“Even when I keep you out late on Fridays?” she teases.

“Most of the time. Sometimes I pick up food on my way home.”

Say it. Just say it. See what he says and go from there... Olivia’s mouth manages to form the words, but she struggles to look at him as she says, “Maybe next time... we can eat together? Go someplace? You can pick. I’m sure you know all the best places...”

She has very rarely seen Nanami look surprised, but here he is, eyes widened, looking as if he’s struggling to make sense of what exactly she’s trying to say. (It’s adorably apparent that he is not a morning person.)

Before she can talk herself out of it, she continues, “Like a... a date, maybe. Dinner. Together.”

Realistically, she knows the silence only lasts for a few brief moments. But it somehow feels like an eternity, during which her brain begins to backpedal, thinking, What if he doesn’t want that? What if it’s too soon? You do realize you’re asking him out in your pajamas, right? Speaking of which, when’s the last time you brushed your hair?

And then: “Yes.”

She must look as shocked as she feels, because he lets out a short huff of a laugh, and... is he blushing?

“It’s a date,” he reiterates. “But —” He points his chopsticks at her. “— that’s only if you rest. You’re still sick, even if you’re feeling a little better today.”

She’s positive that she would do anything he asked at this point, with her whole body seeming to vibrate at the word “date.”

They finish breakfast, and when she offers to help with the dishes, Nanami gives her a pointed look, silently banishing her to the couch while he cleans up. Once he’s finished, he collects his tie and jacket and stands there, looking somewhat reluctant to leave.

“If there’s anything else you need, tell me. I don’t live far from here.”

“You’ve already done more than enough,” she assures him. “I really appreciate it.”

True to his word, not much time passes before she receives a text from him.

She falls back onto the couch, eyes glued to that one little word on the screen — date — and wonders how she’s going to make it through the next six days.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #nanami kento #nanami x oc #nanami kento x oc

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cosmicjoke · 4 years

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Banana Fish, Ash Lynx and the consequences wrought by the abuse of children:

One of the things that most fascinates me about Banana Fish is its dedication to realism.

We see Ash at various points throughout the story slipping into the daydream of going to Japan with Eiji. This whimsical fantasy of being able to change his fate. As he speaks of it with Eiji, there is a faraway, hopeful look in his eyes and in his expression. A moment of allowing himself to imagine what that might be like.

But there is always this pervasive sense that Ash never quite believes it. In those moments of fancy, his expression also contains a deep and tragic melancholy. An understanding, beneath the distant dream, that fairy tales aren’t real, and that his world, his life, has always been defined by cruel, unrelenting, uncompromising reality.

Eiji tries so hard to convince Ash that he’s wrong. That he doesn’t have to exist in this world of pain and violence and hopelessness. That he can run away from it all, to have his happily ever after. But Ash’s life, the things he’s experienced in his life, tell him the truth of it all. There is no hope there. There is no redemption. There is no salvation. He never truly believes in the dream, because Ash, despite Eiji’s efforts, never truly believes in himself. To the very end, he believes himself to be a monster, and herein do we see the true damage wrought by the abuse he’s suffered. Ash’s inability to see himself as he really is. A boy who loves and is loved. He sees instead only the wretched animal he’s been beaten into believing he is.

The ending of Banana Fish is brutal in its honesty, and that’s why I think it’s so upsetting to people. It isn’t a fair ending. The exact opposite, in fact. It’s unbearably UNFAIR. And that’s intentional. We aren’t meant to enjoy the ending, or like the ending, or feel satisfied with the ending, because Banana Fish is itself an examination of the unfairness of life, and, above that still, the consequences of child abuse.

Ash deserved happiness. He deserved his life. He deserved a reward for all he’d been through. He was so young, and had in him so much limitless potential. When you consider Ash’s character, and all the extraordinary gifts he possessed, unsurpassed physical beauty, an IQ so high he was among the five most intelligent people on the planet, reflexes almost superhuman in quality, and, above all else, a heart which, in spite of the endless and sickening abuses he’d suffered throughout his entire life, held in it a capacity for such deep and compassionate love, it makes his loss all the crueler still.

In Garden of Light, and New York Sense, we’re given glimpses into the lives of all the other characters we met in Banana Fish. Eiji has become a world renowned photographer. Sing is going to Harvard Business school, and already runs and operates a successful shipping company. Yut-Lung continues to rule the Chinese mafia. Max and Jessica have rebuilt their lives together, and find continued success in their own careers. Later, we see Sing finds love with Akira, and the two of them are married, and later have a son. Reading these stories, I can’t help but be left with a sense of deep, unrelenting sadness, for how it forcefully reminds you that, for Ash, he’ll never have any of those things. For all his extraordinary abilities, he never was given the chance to make something of himself beyond what his abusers decided for him.

We see Sing in Garden of Light looking over and reading the essays Ash had written and left behind on his computer. Essays written on subjects as far ranging as politics, history, the economy, etc... Sing is left in a kind of jealous awe over Ash’s abilities, disbelieving that a child of 17, 18 years old, could be capable of such brilliant insight and understanding of the world. Sing encounters here the remains of Ash’s genius mind. It is a heartbreaking reminder of what could have been.

For all the success we see these others characters achieve, the accomplishments they’ve built out of their lives after Ash’s death, we’re left knowing that Ash himself could have been so much more. He had every quality required to be a truly great person. A young man who literally could have accomplished anything he wanted. We even see early on, I think it was Inspector Jenkins, say that someday, Ash was going to win a Nobel Prize. We see Eiji talk to Ash about not understanding what it’s like for the “have nots”, because Ash himself is so exceptionally gifted. Max tells Ash that he gave his paper on Banana Fish to a botanist, an actual doctor of science, and the man was so blown away by what he read, he wanted immediately to know who the author was. Ash scores at something like 98.8 % correct on a battery of impossibly difficult tests meant to determine his IQ, and it’s revealed that scoring in that percentile means he has an IQ of 200+. Again and again, we’re shown and reminded of just how truly extraordinary Ash is. It’s a recurring theme throughout the story, never allowed to be forgotten by the audience.

And then, at 18 years of age, he’s killed, his life taken away from him, and all of those gifts, all of those abilities, all of those incredible possibilities are just... gone. Vanished like dust to the wind.

Life, too often, deals those who deserve better a cruel and merciless hand.

Ash could have been anything he wanted. He could have accomplished anything he set his mind to. And yet, he never is given the chance.

It’s the very definition of unfair. Unfair to Ash, for how all those possibilities were taken from him. Unfair to the rest of the world, robbed as it is of such an extraordinary person, and all he could have contributed to it.

But then, that’s the entire point of the story, isn’t it? The brutal unfairness of what happens to children like Ash. Children who slip through the cracks. Children who are forgotten. Children who are abused. Nothing in Ash’s life was fair, and so then, neither is his death.

Banana Fish refuses to undermine the true depth of the damage caused by child abuse. And for that, I think it needs to be applauded.

Ash never learns to believe in himself. He never learns to love himself. He can never see past the life of pain and violence which consumes him, past what he is to the rest of the world, what he believes himself to be. A street punk. A monster. An animal. A machine. A wretched self-loathing which shatters in him all hope, all sense of a real future.

This is the true damage caused by those who abused him. The way they twisted his perception of himself beyond all reality. The way they destroyed his ability to see the true value of himself, of is life. The way they destroyed his ability to see the goodness in his heart. The way they made him hate himself. For it is in that very inability to see himself as he really is that Ash denies himself his own future. He doesn’t take Blanca up on his offer to go to the Caribbean. He doesn’t go with Eiji to Japan. He doesn’t even allow himself to say goodbye. He stays behind, condemning himself to the only world he’s ever known. A world of violence and despair and loneliness. The world he believes he deserves. And by staying in that world, Ash too condemns himself to his fate. He’s killed at the age of 18, never to grow older, never to make something more of himself, never to accomplish all he could have with his extraordinary gifts.

In truth, it is the people who abused Ash who condemn him to this fate. The consequences wrought upon a boy deprived of all love and care. The result of endless, relentless cruelty. A child pure of heart, who when he looked at himself, could only ever see a monster.

#Banana Fish #Ash Lynx

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maddywatters · 3 years

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The Social Dilemma - Wk 3

After watching the lecture and The Social Dilemma, my feelings can be summed up in one word. That word is “scary”! Our minds are so easily manipulated by social media. The powerful algorithms and data have an end goal in mind. That end goal is our addiction to social media which is ultimately a revenue generator. These algorithms and this data are so powerful for many reasons. They do more than just steal our money. They distort our perception of reality. They distort our perception of ourselves, our friends, and our life. There are many dangers of this data that most large corporations work with.

The misinformation that has overtaken our country and our social media is in large part due to the lack of integrity in the social media world. We often think that we are the customer, but it is actually the advertisers that are the customer, and we are the thing begin sold. “When you’re. not paying for the product, you are the product”. When you start to realize that users are the ones being sold, it makes you question intentions, the truth, and the content of social media. The world of virtual connection is never just between two people but a sneak third person that facilitates that connection and molds it into what the third person will benefit most from.

I could go on and on about the content of the movie and all of the things that I learned but what it really comes down to is fixing the problem at hand. Unfortunately, because the people in charge already have our attention and already have lots of money, it is going to be a hard problem to fix. I don’t think it is impossible, but it will be challenging. I think a start would be becoming aware of the power that these people and these platforms have over us. Watching movies like The Social Dilemma helps spread awareness of this problem so that hopefully we can at least begin to realize who controls our reality. Once we become more aware of it as a whole, we can try to have more control of it ourselves. I think the world will always be addicted to social media. I think us controlling that addiction is the only way for us to deal with this problem. It will never go away, and we will most likely continue to be manipulated more and more, but we need to learn to be aware of it and control it the best we can.

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eusage · 4 years

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task one: questionnaire.

& fantasy is hardly an escape from reality; it's a way of understanding it.

001. how did your muse find out about being a demigod, and how did they react?

it is one thing to be told that your mother is a literal goddess, and another to actually believe said words--especially when the speaker of them is not exactly the most trustworthy of sources.

from the very day sage took his first breath he has been told that he’s special; that his mother is the goddess of witchcraft and magic; that he is “ a fucking wizard! ”. his father has never made a point of hiding his mother from him, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that sage has always believed him. if not for the fact that the man was a complete stoner, then there was still a strong possibility that he had been too absorbed in his fantasy books to have a warped perception of reality (at least sage could still partially relate to that much).

of course, there have been a couple of incidents that left him to reconsider the chances of his father telling him the truth. his peculiar love for plants and herbs; the fact that he would generally feel far more energized during the night; but most of all, the time where he accidentally set a classmate’s clothes on fire for spouting nonsense about his father. unexplainably, he then managed to pass it off as though it had been set ablaze by a candle next to him (that had not even been lit, but they somehow believed them anyway. it later occurred to him that it must have been the mist).

yet it wasn’t until hecate finally showed herself to him many years later that he finally accepted his father’s words as the truth.

002. how does your muse’s mortal family feel about them being a demigod?

the fact that his father claimed him to be a wizard and even called him sage to take a jab at his heritage.. no more words are needed to describe his sentiment on the matter. eugene (his father) has always held hecate in high regard as well, and was actually the one who tried to convince sage of his powers. perhaps if sage had tried to look past his father’s reputation of being a drug addict who made zero sense, he would have figured it all out a bit sooner. nothing is more poisonous to a child’s mind than the nasty words the kids on the playground feed to you. he might have pretended that their accusations didn’t get through to him; but what was he supposed to do at barely 7 years of age?

even then, after sage had finally accepted the truth of his heritage, his father has always been his biggest supporter. if possible, he was perhaps even more excited about the magic his son was able to cast than sage had ever been himself. whenever eugene was sober enough to pay attention, he’d spend time by his side to look after him and aid him however well he could (and in return, sage would sometimes pretend as if he truly did need the help, just so he could spend more time with his father).

003. when did they get claimed by their godly parent?

barely eleven years of age, his world is turned upside down when he finds his father passed out cold on the kitchen floor. it’s fear that has the adrenaline rushing through his young body at the time; the anxiety that puts him into autopilot. check pulse. call 911. cover him with a blanket. there is nothing on his mind but survival; it’s almost as if he has done this before. but he hasn’t, and the cool exterior is nothing but a facade that he keeps on because he knows that he’ll come crashing when he drops it.

but he doesn’t have to stay strong forever. by the time they allow him inside his father’s hospital room, the emotions finally come pouring out. there’s barely any time for him to catch his breath between sobbing and hiccuping. puffy red eyes and wet sleeves that reveal what he’s been wiping his tears with. it’s the first time he realises the severity of his father’s drug addiction.

it is also the first time hecate ever shows herself to him. without introduction, she simply seats herself next to him on the concrete floor of the building, arms pulling her son in to soothe him and ease his pain. with her motherly presence, but also with a slight touch of magic. there is nothing but comforting words that she whispers to him while she gently brushes his hair. it doesn’t take long before sage finds himself asleep in her arms, his breathing finally evening out again. their first meeting might have been unorthodox, but at least she’d been there when he needed her most.

a week later, she shows herself again. although she non-verbally claimed sage as her son already in the hospital, this time she returns to spend the entire day with him. hecate is sweet and patient; but she is also a mother, and very protective of her children. the goddess tells him all he needs to know about surviving as a demigod, and how to practice his skills best. she tells him to protect himself and to never let his guard down. to look out for himself only. she also tells himself that his father is a brilliant man, but to not count on him to save his life. he’s gotta do that himself.

of course, she says, she will always be there when he needs her. all he needs to do is ask.

004. did they attend a camp?

sage never attended any demigod camp prior to attending eonia. he did, however, recreate his own miniature demigod camp of sorts back in new york city.

way back in 2010, when his father’s drug addiction took a turn for the worst, sage had no other option but to leave him behind and seek shelter for himself. on the down side, the young demigod had a bank account with just about fifty dollars in it; barely enough to provide himself with some food for the weeks to come, and definitely not enough to find a comfortable place to reside in. on the pro side: thanks to hecate, he was able to keep himself warm and grant himself protection from the outside world and monsters. that way, sage managed to live on his own for a while, turning an empty building into a safe haven of sorts.

it didn’t take long until he’d run into other demigods and invite them to stay with him for the time being. not only would it stop him from being so lonely, it also gave them the chance to practice their abilities and grow stronger together. they became almost like a small family, and although it technically was not a demigod camp, it certainly shared some of the same aspects of one.

005. was your muse ever sent on any quests?

because sage has never been to any demigod camp, he has also never been sent on any quests. not that he feels as if he’s been missing out. frankly speaking, quests never seemed like his type of thing. he’d much rather be working behind the scenes; if he did go on quests, he’d most likely be focusing solely on protecting the others.

006. what’s their relationship with their godly parent?

sage has nothing but admiration for his mother, regardless of how little she has been in his life. in troubled times, hecate has always been there for him. perhaps not always in person, but asking was all sage ever needed to do to reach her. in fact, she is also the goddess he prays to when asking for protection or favors.

having a deity for a parent will never be the same as having a mortal parent. it is simply impossible for them to constantly be around in their children’s life. sage understands that much, and so he is at peace with not being able to see his mother as often as regular kids. would he wish to see her more? sure. he’d love to spend more time with her and just have some coffee or talk about anything that is not demigod related. but hecate has still been a constant factor in his life more than most other gods have been to their children, and for that he is ever so grateful.

if anything, hecate has always helped him get a better understanding of his powers. she guided him through the beginning stages of spell casting and helped him get a better understanding of the mist. weren’t it for her, he probably wouldn’t have half the control over his powers as he does now.

007. your muse’s favorite part about being a demigod?

the magic! truly, if he had been able to choose a demigod parent of his own, it still would have been hecate. when it comes to magic, there are infinite possibilities of utilising it and sage absolutely loves discovering all of them. he could spend his entire life practicing magic and never grow bored of it. what else is to be expected from someone who practically lives in fantasy books? this demigod doesn’t even need drugs to lose touch with reality, all he needs is his books, magic, and sleepless nights.

other than that, the fact that his powers are one of the strongest sources of protecting other demigods is one of his favorite aspects. he’d love to continue doing what he’s done in new york for all those years; provide a safe shelter to other wayward demigods and allow them to learn from one another.

008. your muse’s least favorite part about being a demigod?

there is not much that sage doesn’t like about being a demigod, but if he had to pick something, it would probably be the lack of a parental figure in his life. perhaps with more of a motherly presence in his life, he’d better understand himself as a person. when it comes to all things demigod and magic, sage has a pretty good understanding of it all. when it comes to himself and his feelings, however, he wonders if having a more consistent adult presence in his life would have made things different. maybe he wouldn’t be so insistent to please everyone all the time; maybe he wouldn’t start crying over every little thing; and maybe he wouldn’t walk off every time he clashes with someone rather than facing them (or sometimes even use the mist to control their thoughts and feelings).

009. what’s your muse’s weapon and battle proficiency?

battlefield related skills? what are those? sage is practically clueless when it comes to physical combat, and so he prefers not to engage in it. however, throughout the years he’s spent looking after younger demigods, it’s been stressing him out that he has no ways of defending himself should it ever come down to it. unfair as it is, his powers do not work as well during the day, and dismissing physical combat and/or defense entirely is a luxury that he cannot afford.

his weapon of choice would always be his wand; engraved with latin enchantments all over. he doesn’t necessarily need it when casting protective spells, but if he were to go on the offense and attack monsters, he’d still use it for maximum effect. he usually opts to make use of a knife during his battle classes, however. it feels less like a weapon to directly attack an opponent, and more somewhat of a defensive attribute. and, to be fair, if he were to wield a sword.. only the gods would know of the catastrophes that could follow.

#euquestionnaire #( started from the bottom and we still here )#( imagine having photoshop... can't relate )#( imagine rereading this shit... also can't relate )#( but alas i did it xox back to threads #( psyche. )

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ofeva · 4 years

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⌠ REINA HARDESTY, 21, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, EVANGELINE ASTOR! according to their records, they’re a THIRD year, specializing in MEDICAL TRAINING + COVERT OPERATIONS; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (lace bralettes under pressed collared shirts, the sound of mozart’s piano sonata no. 11 echoing from another room, reading at candlelight with a bottle of merlot, holding your breath underwater until your lungs burst). when it’s the (taurus)’s birthday on 5/12/99, they always request their EGG CUSTARD TART from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ kati, 23, she/her, est ⍀ @gallagherintro

STATS / PINTEREST / CONNECTIONS / CLASSES

INSPIRATION.

camille preaker – sharp objects

ophelia – hamlet

marla singer – fight club

mia wallace – pulp fiction

celeste wright – big little lies

hester argyll – ordeal by innocence

melisandre – game of thrones

BACKGROUND + CLICK FOR BIO.

tbh i wrote these bullets and the bio is better if you have time for it. but if not:

so, james and elizabeth weren’t supposed to have children...they tried and they just couldn’t do it ! at an older age, they wound up adopting evangeline, their heir and saving grace. eva doesn’t know anything about her birth parents, she was adopted as a baby.

james and elizabeth were very strict about eva’s upbringing and she was a lonely child. she didn’t understand why they didn’t want her playing with other children, why they got so upset when she did typical child things like coming home covered in dirt and climbing trees.

she was a very imaginative child and therefore made up her own friends, playing in the woods as she pictures elves, fairies, and goblins, telling herself stories and creating her own adventures. it helped ease the loneliness, but she was always a little...strange. the other children called her names. she never really outgrew it.

when eva stumbles home one night with bloody knees, patched up by the nanny, she can hear her parents whisper: "maybe this was a mistake. we weren't ready."

eva has a wild imagination and likes to talk about how her room is haunted sometimes, always making up stories about ghosts and things she hears in the woods. the sort of thing a normal parent would dismiss, but her mother seems visibly nervous.

on eva’s twelfth birthday, it all makes sense: eva is not their first child. james and elizabeth managed to have one child before her, named isabella. she was sickly from the day she was born, and now eva understands why your james and elizabeth are so concerned about cleanliness, why she can't go play with the other kids. isabella never turned twelve. eva’s been walking the halls of the astor estate like the ghost of a girl she never knew existed, she never had a fucking chance.

she goes to school in the city and she attempts to persevere, to be the daughter that james and elizabeth want. her grades are immaculate, she shows strokes of genius and she devours books faster than most people can get through a chapter. james and elizabeth think it might be easier if they send eva to prep school, away from their home. they say that she’s just too smart, but evangeline knows the truth deep down ; they don’t want her there.

she goes to a rich, private school in new england and easily sticks out like a sore thumb. so, she learns to assimilate, emulating characters from her favorite stories, trying to bend herself into someone else that people might like. eva has a hard time being herself.

assimilation, covert operations, these are not the only skills she gains as she tries to fit in with your peers. a study she does for her science project about the effects of teenage vaping is published in an academic journal. it's funny because eva loves nicotine herself. she knows better than anyone what that shit does to her lungs, but she’s too in love with the aesthetic tbh. she just doesn’t care.

welcome to the breaking point ! as it’s been mentioned, eva doesn’t really fit in with the cool crowd and high schoolers can be vicious. there’s a group of mean girls she often clashes with. eva likes to sneak out at night with a bottle of merlot and a flashlight and read, but one night some girls follow her. they start pushing her around and she pushes back just a little too hard, and lucy prescott tumbles down the side of a hill.

oh, lucy prescott is fine.

she’s just a bitch about her broken leg and busted elbow and her dad is a big donor, so eva gets fucking expelled and loses her scholarship. no college is gonna accept her now. she doesn’t know how to tell her parents, fearful of being a disappointment.

in the airport, she’s given strange letter. apparently, her parents don’t know anything...someone’s covered the incident up and she’s been accepted into a college that she didn’t even apply for. a school for espionage with a straightforward track to mi6. eva’s parents are so proud, they start bragging about her...but it’s too little too late. the bitterness that's grown inside of her heart is there because they only care about her successes, and she knows they’d never support her in her failures and fuck ups. they don’t see her for who she really is and they don’t care.

she gets on pretty well in school, but it quickly becomes clear that she’s most interested in people. what makes them tick, what makes their heart beat, how the blood courses through their veins. so, she transfers to gallagher academy because it offers a medical training program that her spy school in london doesn’t. at least...that’s the story.

WARNING...ACCESSING TOP SECRET INFORMATION...

yeah, that spy school isn’t just any spy school. it’s fucking CALEDONIA. eva easily gets obsessed with things and her latest is the world of espionage. what’s special about caledonia? the students there have nothing to lose. caledonia is all eva has left, and it’s all that she knows to be loyal to.

mr. stewart noticed her when no one else did. he tells her that he's been watching her for a long time, that she’s so much more than her family's prowess or the expectations she could never live up to. it makes her feel valuable, worth something. he is the parent she’s always wanted.

she’s no longer competing against a ghost of a sister that no longer exists. no, her competition is tangible, real, and so much more annoying: his name is cole conner.

so, meet eva’s new obsession. as her years at caledonia progress together, he’s one step ahead of her at every turn. it’s true that she spends late nights studying, but it’s not just medical journals. it’s everything. it’s how to be the best at everything.

when cole is sent on the gallagher mission, eva is not even surprised. of course he would, he's the favorite. but months go by with no word, it almost seems like he's doing nothing at all, and rumors turn in the mill. in short: he sucks. so, mr. stewart asks eva to start in the fall and work alongside cole. she’ll be a transfer student, repeating a year to catch up on medical credits that her old school lacked, and she’ll also take on the second specialization of covert ops, to keep an eye on cole, of course.

PERSONALITY.

CREATIVE. eva is very much lost in her mind sometimes, but she’s always full of new ideas, new thoughts, and has an uncanny ability to keep herself occupied. she’s hardly ever bored and as much as she likes to read, she also likes to write, keeping notebooks full of random scribblings mostly, but the occasional poem or short story will come to fruition.

RESILIENT. she’s been through a lot and continues to take it. the home where she grew up could leave anyone battered down and discouraged, but every time someone else wins, eva gets back up and continues to fight. whether it’s against her parents, against the world, or against, well, cole, she’ll bite back at what stands in her way despite the fact that obstacles keep coming up over and over again. she does not give up.

INTELLIGENT. eva is just really smart! how else can you say it? she has a voracious appetite for learning, for getting her hands on as much of the world as she can, and she is genuinely clever and calculating, the the point where she hasn’t been able to fit in with her peers growing up. that’s why schools that specialize in teaching gifted people, like gallagher, are the best fit for her. she can find her people.

HEDONISTIC. however, the one thing about her is that she is not exactly disciplined, and it’s probably what sets her behind her rivals; she’s hopelessly self-indulgent, engaging in activities that make her happy over what she’s being told to do. that’s why she has a weakness for good wine, for staying up way too late, for reading an entire book in a day because she can’t hold back.

OBSESSIVE. eva is so prone to obsession! she can’t stop herself when she fixates on something and yes, this can be a strength when she is trying to learn or accomplish her goals, but it’s a bit much. she puts all of herself into everything and she can’t just casually like something by half – either she’s so bored by it or she is all in. – “i never really learned how to like something. i always let it consume me.”

IDEALISTIC. always unrealistically aiming for a perfection she can’t achieve, she holds herself and others to impossible standards. she does this in relationships too, which is probably why she finds herself falling in love with fictions at times, sometimes lacking the perception to separate her dreams and her realities. she’s a dangerous enemy but a powerful ally because of this. she doesn’t fear going after what she wants. i actually have no idea if she’s ever been in love or if she’s just emulating the idea of love that she reads about in literature.

HEADCANONS.

eva’s reasons for doing things: 1) spite. or 2) the aesthetic. eva is so fucking about the aesthetic, it’s literally why she smokes cigarettes or wears skirts on a windy day, she can’t stop herself. catch her in the forest, drinking a bottle of wine and reading her book by CANDLELIGHT when she could just sit inside by a lamp but no, she has to look fucking feral at all times.

does not really have a sleep schedule. she’ll just sleep when she’s tired, kind of just collapses when she feels like she should. time isn’t real, she likes the nighttime, sleeps whenever.

loves used bookstores and will probably bribe fourth years to bring her back books that are worn and loved when they go into roseville. just likes the feeling of worn down paper, slightly smudged ink, and the annotations of a stranger.

her favorite weather is rain and thunderstorms! for the aesthetic a bit, she will be melancholy for the sake of it, sitting by the window with a cup of tea, just thinking, journaling, writing poems about a lost lover and how she misses being tangled up in bedsheets, forgetting her own name. so dramatic.

used to be on a swim team as a kid and zoom zooms in the water, she’s not very fast on land but she’s a fucking shark !!!

grew up with piano lessons and can play the piano. sometimes writes her own music but it’s mostly for herself, will write songs about the people that she cares for. she’s talented!

her parents were much older when they adopted her and due to the secluded nature of her upbringing, most of her interests are older movies, older classic novels, older music...the stuff from the house she grew up in, she has old-fashioned taste.

does not really understand or use social media :/ tiktok terrifies her, doesn’t like the idea of the government having her info so. she is not really on any social networking, but she can be reached via text of course! does like emojis!

do i have to say it........obviously she’s bisexual......please forthe love of god if she doesn’t kiss a girl in the woods while she’s here i will lose my damn mind.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

FELLOW BOOK LOVERS? someone who’s into reading like she is, perhaps she will join the book club but they stay up late and discuss poems together and they just love to talk about media! maybe someone who’s a little more hip to contemporary things and can expose eva to some different genres, or get her to read some cheesy ridiculous romances or YA that she never would’ve touched otherwise. or they’re snobs like her. i’m just thinking rly hard about this pin.

MESSY EX PLS. hmm oh my god give me someone for eva to obsess over, please? not even in a positive way, but i’d love someone from her past; they could’ve met a) in america while she went to school there, b) her summers in london, c) any of her summer travels, maybe a summer romance...literally i’m down to work with anywhere in the world, but this would be someone that knows TOO MUCH about her and therefore she has to avoid them due to her role as a double agent, but she probably really wants to talk to them. they probably ended on bad terms without much closure but honestly, she can’t talk to them. terrified they’ll catch her in a lie, they just know her too damn well.

SOMEONE WHO IS SUSPICIOUS OF HER. they think she’s a bit odd, and while eva is good....there’s good spies at gallagher too and they just get a bad vibe from her. ask her a lot of questions, think she’s strange, and after the brotherhood bullshit last year, they’re wary of a new transfer student. eva is determined to give your character the runaround.

CRUSH. obviously eva is prone to obsession anyways, so let me have your dreamy, interesting muse that she can idealize in her head and write some poems about, maybe they vibe and talk about books and they have the same fave book and so she’s like instant heart eyes but obv. can’t and won’t do anything about it ever <3 she will act like this. i can see maybe this person being a legacy or someone eva needs to learn more about n she just becomes obsessed with them on a personal level too.

KINDRED SPIRITS. best friends but like they click INSTANTLY ah ! literally it’s like they’re soul mates, they have shared interests and they can spend all night talking. this is someone that eva is also tempted to reveal all of herself to but she can’t. she doesn’t feel bad about lying but she does to this person because they click on such an intimate level that it feels like they’ve known one another forever. terribly sad betrayal to come later <3 homies but make it dark academia tbh. also a vibe. also this.

SECRET FWB. obviously because of her job she prob shouldn’t be getting distracted or involved with anyone, but! sometimes a girl has needs. they probably sneak around a lot and they don’t really understand eva’s need for keeping things so secret? but she’s trying to keep the other agents like cecilia, cole, & allister from knowing that she’s being self-indulgent.

OPPOSITES ATTRACT FRIENDSHIP. give me your sunshine girls, your sparkly pink princesses, your muses that are always laughing...eva is attracted to her light and wants to be around her all the time, finds her adorable and compelling! they’re very different in energy but they find each other fascinating and eva finds her energy just so infectious, this girl makes eva feel optimistic about life and she adores her. would protect this girl with her life.

FLIRTATIONSHIP. this. probably like a flirtationship where they don’t take each other seriously or where she flirts with your muse a lot because she finds it funny and your muse continually puts down her advances but it’s all like jokes and amusing.

PEOPLE FROM HER PAST. not a ton of these obviously, but i wouldn’t mind one or two people that kind of make her squirm. maybe the angst of old friends that lost touch would be really fun? i’m a sucker for ex-friend things and then we can build them back up or ruminate in the awkwardness, whatever the vibe turns out to be.

PEN PAL. obviously eva was a lonely child so she found ways to make her own fun or...make her own friends. whether through an exchange program at school or something she found on the internet, these two have been writing letters for years. i feel like she stuck with it because she was such a lonely person whereas most people lose touch or you’re a kid so you forget about it. they probably graduated to text message over the years.

CARETAKER? idk someone who is like an older sibling figure to evangeline. she’s obviously never had that in her life, but someone who...sees that she’s struggling and wants to look after her? develops a soft spot for her? she’s like their weird daughter/younger sister/whatever and we love that. like that quote....ur such a soft and messy thing, no one knows how to take care of you...but this person does <3 holding her hair when she’s had too much wine, giving her tissues when her fave character in a book dies, etc.

GENERAL SPY STUFF. obviously eva is trying to get the best of cole and learn about her classmates so we’ll get to that. but also, eva is really interested in characters that cole is close to/cole cares about ... she shall be asking them lots of things and reporting back to mr. stewart, thanks.

also down to plot dynamics among classmates, roommates, and things relating to caledonia or whatever else, we can always just vibe with it.

#gallagher:intro #why am i so nervous to post this idk ! hi !

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coolacourseinmiracles · 3 years

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A Course in Miracles: A Non-dual Path to Enlightenment

The path of A Course in Miracles is based on the one truth that only God is real. This means the duality of the world is false. This essential teaching is conveyed in both the Advaita Vedanta and in A Course in Miracles, with no contradiction, although the words differ.

Advaita Vedanta

God alone is real

The world is illusory

A Course in Miracles

God is real.

The world is illusion.

Let us go deeply into the mind until it is apparent that peace of mind is available to us this very instant. We want to take a close look at the false beliefs, presently held dear, that obstruct the awareness of True Self and God. We want to raise the false beliefs to the light and trace them back to their false cause: the belief in separation from God.

Let's begin by looking at restlessness, a common symptom that your mind is not at peace. The feeling of restlessness is related to choices that are varied and complex. Can you see that, if this is the case, you must believe that there are real future choices to make? What are these personal choices between? Aren't they perceived to be between options or alternatives within a dualistic world? Aren't they seen to be between two or more specific things? That's inherent in this concept of choice, isn't it? Now, what is the commonality of the choices in the world, the personal choices that we are describing? They are always choices between forms and specifics. Choice rests on the belief in a dualistic, linear, time-space world of opposites, including past/future, does it not?

So it comes down to this: the whole idea of choice between specifics must rest on the concept of linear time, as contrasted with simultaneous time: Now! Heaven is Eternal Oneness and has nothing to do with choice, since there is nothing to choose between in Oneness. One must see choice where it has meaning as a learning device, at the mind level, before there can be remembrance of choiceless Oneness. Just beyond all the things you think you have to do lies one simple choice. All you have to do is make one decision for peace! Really it's not even a decision; it's just an acceptance. What we want to look at is everything that seems to stand in the way of this acceptance. It's that simple.

We want to be so thorough in tracing specific personal choices back to the false belief that underlies them all, that there is opening for the grand moment that seems to change everything and yet is changeless: this Instant. The teaching I share is that Enlightenment is available this very moment. And anything in one's mind that stands in the way of that recognition of Enlightenment right now must first be questioned, and then seen for what it is: illusion.

Just say and mean: "I want peace! I want it more than anything else. I'm going to drop all my personal masks. In order to drop them, I'm going to have to look at them. I want to see them for what they are, to discern the false from the true." What a precious opportunity this is! Can you think of anything more important than looking at your own mind and examining the obstacles to this recognition?

The split mind is a context in which the idea of choice is meaningful as a metaphor or a steppingstone, a preparation for the last decision or final acceptance that brings an end to all decision. This final decision is a decision/acceptance of the content, or the purpose, of God. What if there is actually no purpose or meaning for anything in-and-of-itself? What if everything perceived with the five senses is simply the past? All the meaning that is given to everything is all based on the past. And the past is gone. When we talk about letting go of the past, we are talking about a necessary and fundamental unlearning of everything that has been learned, of time/space. It is letting go of the world perceived with the senses. The deceived mind thinks it sees meaning and purpose in the world. The teaching I am sharing is that purpose or content is of the mind.

There are just two purposes in the split mind: the first is the purpose of letting go of illusion and awakening to one's True Self. The second is the purpose of holding onto the illusion. From this perspective, would the idea that every choice you make brings everything to you or nothing seem meaningful? If we can just get really clear on the discernment between these two purposes in the split mind, then the simple choice for Enlightenment will be obvious. Consider that you believe your mind is full of real thoughts. What if you had a hint that this belief is not true? Then you would understand the need to take a look at every concept and thought, as basic as these that we are examining, and see that the beliefs about identity and the world that these thoughts rest on are untrue.

The whole idea of personhood has to be questioned very carefully. Every time someone seems defensive or upset, and the upset is traced into the mind, it always comes down to the concept of personhood. Even if one is offended at pollution being put into the air, it still comes back to the belief that one is in this environment and that pollution is an affront to oneself, a person. Every single upset can be traced to a basic subject-object split in which the person, the "me," is subject, and the rest of the cosmos is object.

The way this world/cosmos seems to be constructed is as follows: there is the subject (or person) and there is the object that is always the surrounding and separated other, be it time, space, object, person(s), society, world, or cosmos. Personhood or personal identity is based on this duality, this basic split. Every time you feel that frustration of thinking that there is something to do, it doesn't feel good, does it? There is an impetus for change, but the change seems to be too difficult or overwhelming to accomplish.

The deceived mind thinks that those beliefs are itself, having identified with them. What one mistakenly thinks one is and has to give up, doesn't exist. In other words, the True Self does not have to give up the person-self. The True Self has no other self, no deceived mind. There only seems to be coercion because of a belief that there really is something that one is right now that one has got to get rid of. But what if one is not that something?! In this realization, the feelings of coercion or of having to do something dissolve!

It gets back to purpose again. You need to get very clear in your mind about the two purposes. If you think you are imbedded in an illusory world of form and believe your life is a real person living in this world of nature, then your True Self is going to be perceived as very threatening. You will perceive God as asking you to give something up that is real, that is good, that is beautiful, and you will not want to listen to the voice of your True Self.

Just calmly look at the person-self and see its falsity. Light dispels darkness by its mere Presence: this is the whole message. There really is no life in the world of images. Images deny Life. Life is eternal and formless and changeless. All judgments are tied into the concept of personhood and the basic subject-object split. Unreal beliefs produce unreal appearances. If one can question the beliefs, then one can give up the entire belief system and the time-space cosmos it seemed to produce. Only then can one remember one's True Identity as One with God. Yet even to say "give up" implies that one had it, that the unreal belief system was real in the first place. It's a watching, seeing that all images are past, rather than selecting and sequencing the images into an ordering of objects and events. It is a state of stillness, of peace, and of joy!

The deceived mind believes that it is the person-self. That belief is a decision that must be reversed before God and one's True Self can be remembered. That belief is projected onto the screen of the entire cosmos as guilt attributed to a doing or a not-doing. But the guilt is never because of anything on the screen. The guilt results from choosing the wrong mind, from believing one is something one is not; a person in a world of duality. One can laugh at the idea of the person-self. That is how peace of mind is reached. One sees what one is not, and what one is then gently returns to awareness.

If one takes a higher perspective and sees oneself as the dreamer of the dream, one can accept a different purpose for the dream. It's quite a detached place to just see the false as false. One watches and observes the thoughts of the world. One no longer reacts to them. In worldly perception it still seems like the body speaks. It still seems like the body is active, at times walking or talking. But one's attention is so far removed from the thoughts of the world that one feels dis-identified from form and identified with the Self's purpose of transcending illusion. In the flow of this purpose there is no awareness of separate persons, actions, situations or events.

The deceived mind is full of unreal thoughts, which is not really thinking at all. Real thoughts of the Self remain available and can be heard if that is one's desire. Judgment denies Reality and therefore offers nothing. The release point is seeing the impossibility of judgment of anything in the illusion! If one can clearly discern between these two thought systems, then one doesn't fall for personalizing everything and making problems specific. When judgment is seen as impossible, and the mind no longer identifies with the images and characters of the dream, there must be peace!

The only way that it's possible to look at yourself and not feel wrong is to be looking with God, from the perspective of your True Self. In other words, there are two purposes: forgiveness of the illusion and choosing the illusion. If one is looking at the thoughts calmly with the Self, the purpose is forgiveness of the illusion. When there is complete acceptance of true forgiveness it is seen that there never was anything to choose between. All is One. As one steps back and defers to the judgment of the Self, one comes from a point of clarity or complete forgiveness and makes no interpretations by or of oneself. The individual perception dissolves into forgiveness.

The big insight that we are talking about is this: upset is never because of what happened to a person in a personal dysfunctional past. How one is feeling is the result of a present decision of mind, a choice of perception. That, and only that, brings peace or upset. Remember, the split mind has only two contents or purposes. The perception or interpretation proceeds from the purpose the mind chooses. If you are feeling upset, it is only because you are presently choosing personhood, choosing separation from God. You must still believe the past is present, instead of seeing that the past is gone. This is deception, for the past is gone! Upset is always a sign that illusions reign in place of truth.

So we are back full circle. If one seems to be upset, it's not because of what somebody said, or what somebody did, or because of the weather, or what might happen. The upset, regardless of the form or intensity, is always because one is presently choosing personhood, and therefore still valuing illusion. The wish to be separate from Oneness remains intact and needs to be questioned.

Tracing upsets from specifics to the false belief that produced them is the same as becoming clear on the distinction between form and content. Once this is clear, one is able to discern what comes from God and what doesn't, what is true and what is false, and thus realize that only the truth is true and there is nothing to decide.

—David Hoffmeister

For support in tracing back upsets David offers this free online tool: LevelsOfMind.com

#a course in miracles #a course in miracles teachers #a course in miracles teacher

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acimsouncloud · 3 years

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A Course in Miracles Soundcloud

Advaita Vedanta

God alone is real

The world is illusory

A Course in Miracles Soundcloud

God is real.

The world is illusion.

—David Hoffmeister

For support in tracing back upsets David offers this free online tool: LevelsOfMind.com

#A Course in Miracles Soundcloud

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snkpolls · 5 years

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SnK Chapter 123 Poll Results

The chapter 123 poll closed with 1,732 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

This month’s poll team: alooulla, @attraversiamo19, @erensjaegerbombs @momtaku, _Puppet_ , @reikukaja, @shifter-lines

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,732 Responses

This chapter was down slightly from the previous two but it hardly matters considering ¾ of the fandom have given it the highest possible rating. The manga continues to excite and impress month after month and it shows.

The end has come…

I'm both excited and horrified. I'm still hoping for another twist!

"Eren has a secret plan that doesnt involve genocide" And other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself!

I loved the flashbacks. It was the calm before the storm and we saw the 104th happy for one last time. 💔

Am I allowed to ground my 19 year old fictional adopted son

Amazing and beautifully drawn. I can’t wait for the next chapter

Genocide - Xenocide - Mass Murder - the friggin' APOCALYPSE -- whatever you want to call it, it's not the answer! Unless you're a god. And you know? I'm starting to think Eren is beyond our human judgment.

At first I was disappointed, I couldn’t believe that Eren would choose such a path especially since you have to consider just how much he values life and believes everyone deserves a chance ‘because they were born into this world’. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that there was simply no other way.

The world: we shall banish this devils on that island Eren: NO U

I loved everything about this chapter. It had great humor, drama, violence, bombastic imagery...everything that I love about SNK

Gotta give Isayama the credit, he really put effort and thought in all of this.

I'm having withdrawals already, where's the next chapter?????

cow car cow car cow car cow car cow car

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,772 Responses

In a chapter filled with sweet flashback moments, it was “Eren’s declaration of intentions through Paths” that snagged nearly ⅓ of the vote. “Eren and Mikasa’s intimate late night conversation” (17.8%) and “The 104th throwing one last party” (13%) rounded out the top three.

I feel overwhelmed. It was bittersweet. I enjoyed reading the chapter from Mikasa's POV, plus her moments with Eren, Levi and the clown, Hanji saying "Hello car!", Sasha eating... I'M NOT CRYING AT ALL.

Eren Jaeger is best boy <3

Call me biased, I love wholesome moments so much, and we FINALLY see Levi and Hange after EIGHT whole months

Mikasa eating ice cream is the most adorable thing ever

Levi in a suit made me cry, scream, and nut all at once. I was left confused with emotions for an hour on my bed, nearly comatose at 1:30pm. By the time I realized what had happened, I looked at my phone again and saw the screenshots I took and started hyperventilating so hard I was drooling. It was great. 11/10, would do it again.

I really enjoyed the 104th getting drunk together, and it was so... Sad to see Armin ramble at Mikasa whilst she looks at him with uncertainty as he desperately tries to convince himself that Eren is on their side. Also, the moments with the car and Levi with the clown are genuinely hysterical.

Would be die from cuteness overload watching Mikasa eating ice cream!

WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP? 1,778 Responses

Three characters dominated this question’s responses, leaving the rest relegated to a small portion of the graph. Where have we heard that before?

43.5% of you thought Eren was the MVP of this chapter, while nearly 31% thought it was Mikasa. At a somewhat distant third, Levi is in at just shy of 18%.I can’t be sure why this distribution is the way it is, but my guess is because saving immigrant children is really in season right now, but not nearly as much as genocide.

Eren is a GOAT!!!

OMG! Levi how I've missed you.

MIKASA'S NARRATION AND ACTUAL AGENCY. GIMME MORE!

WHAT WAS THE FUNNIEST COMMENT ABOUT THE CAR? 1,761 Responses

Poll worker #8 here. I haven’t read the rest of the results yet, but I’d guess the lighthearted nature of this question is going to be sorely needed given some of the other content in this chapter.

Onyankopon’s realization that the Paradisians really are just Like That™ got first place in this question, being voted for by a solid 40.9% of respondents. Hange’s “Hello, car!” secured second place with 23.7% of the vote, and Levi, who knows that the gang is Like That™, got third place with a clean 19% for his prediction.

AFTER LAST MONTH’S CLIFFHANGER, WE IMMEDIATELY JUMP TO FLASHBACKS! WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE SHIFT? 1,753 Responses

More than two-thirds of respondents really enjoyed the flashbacks juxtaposed with last month’s cliffhanger. 17% of you liked them, but would’ve preferred that this chapter start in the present, and 9.7% were glad they were there, but thought that they took up too many pages.

The flashback in general might not have been necessary but it was very much appreciated for once. It took me back to the comedy panels Isayama used to scatter in other arcs. It may also serve the purpose of making us remember how much we love these characters before they kill them all in front of us because Yams is sadistic like that and there is no way he won't enjoy our tragic tears. Love him though.

I didn't mind the flashbacks coz it was so nice to see characters like Sasha, Levi and Hange again :'(

I honestly thought the flashback was important, it showed when and why Eren was changing, to later show us what it had led to. I feel like more flashbacks are important before we truly dwell into the rumbling fully.

I really appreciated the flashbacks, the chapter overall was amazing.

MIKASA WONDERS IF EREN’S EVER REALLY CHANGED, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 1,761 Responses

The air around how Eren is viewed has changed immensely since chapter 1, but has he? The large majority at 77.3% feel he’s developed, but is still the same core person. 12% think he’s a completely different person, and 8.5% don’t believe he’s ever changed one bit in essence.

Eren doesn't really change, all he did was to focus his grudge on the people outside the walls after he knew the truth about the titans and I believe that Mikasa never knew Eren, properly.

He is the same as he ever was, what changed was our perception of him.

He's experienced more of life and developed his perspective under ever-changing circumstances, as we all do, but his core principles appear to have been the same since the day he was born - freedom is his right, and he will have it by any means necessary.

Eren will fight others for what he sees as freedom. Unfortunate, since we can never truly be free of the limitations we place on each other simply by virtue of existing together, but then Eren has never been particularly thorough in thinking things through.

He has changed in the way of his mental state. He is no longer “just” Eren. He is more like his father than ever, and he’s probably having an identity crisis.

Everyone changes as they grow older, it's impossible not to. Especially given that Eren also has the Memories of multiple persons. He even states so in his conversation with Reiner that he now understands them. So he did change, that not the question. But his will the live a life in freedom and destroying whoever tries to take this away from his, this didn't change at all.

He always had the potential to become who he is now, but he was not always a monster. he used to be a fundamentally good person with a dark side. he felt compassion towards innocents and regret/remorse over their deaths. now he locked that compassion away and let that dark side overwhelm him. he is broken.

His ideals are the same but they've amplified dangerously

There’s two sides to Eren. His good side never changed, but his potential for darkness has deepened.

It's sad that his idea of saving what he thought was all of humanity turned out to really only be an idea of saving Paradis. At the start of the series, it gave him an empathetic nature. Now, he's rather cold.

He has changed since the moment he touched Historia's hand and saw that 「THAT SCENERY」

WHAT DO YOU INTERPRET BY EREN BEING "SPACED OUT", AS ARMIN PUTS IT? 1,729 Responses

Eren was acting rather odd this chapter, and while Armin picked up on it he didn’t seem to know why. We have a pretty even split, with 47.3% thinking he’s having second thoughts about going through with a plan that would put these civilians in harm; meanwhile 45.5% believe he already knows they’re going to die. 3.3% think he’s just in awe of the new people and technology.

A mix of all the above

He is seeing his future memories and want's to see for himself whether or not they are the real truth, and the more he sees the more he comes to find out it's exactly as his memories have guided him

He sees the technology and the people and wonders how humans can treat each other in such horrible ways.

Being consumed but all the past Attack on Titans while experimenting things first time himself. Kind of like a deja-vu.

Both indecision and sadness as well as general depression due to his experiences and having to come to terms with what he sees as the only solution.

Coming to terms with the reality of the outside world, and Paradis' place in this world

General sadness and indecision. He’s seen all this before in memories and I think he’s just broken-hearted

He's searching for any reason not to go through with the plans he's already forming, but at every turn he just sees more that enforces his path (the mistreatment of Eldian refugees, the outreach commission that just wants to use Paradise as a scapegoat). He's spaced out because he isn't looking at little things like ice cream or cars like the rest of them, but instead trying to find any last spark of hope.

Realizing that this place is filled with many people and useful technology but he has to do the plan that will harm everything outside the walls for his own kind

Eren spaced out because he realized how much harm he'll put on his friends but he has no choice but to do it.

He feels nothing because he is a psychopath

Yum, tasty human rumbling patties

WHAT DID EREN MEAN WHEN, AFTER SHEDDING A TEAR, HE SAID NOTHING HAS HAPPENED TO THE BOY FROM THE MARKET YET? 1,751 Responses

After acting strange upon arriving in Marley, Eren’s seen crying for seemingly no reason over the boy they met. 44.2% believe he’s seen the boy die in the rumbling, 35.4% believe that Eren knows it’s a cruel world this boy has to live in and is fearful of his future, and 18% think Eren knows something else terrible will happen to him.

When I saw that tear running down Eren's cheek, I suddenly felt so emotional that I cried too.

I certainly enjoy the vagueness of character moments such as these. Before I state my interpretation of the scene, I don't think eren knows the boy's fate like an omniscient being. He can only assume the future he saw when touching Hisu's hand is the cruel fate that will snuff the life out of this poor child. I'd say all of the above, minus the "He saw" bit.

He already had the intention of killing every non eldian and has an internal conflict because of this

He already knows he rumbled the world from Grisha's memory so I think he's mourning for every innocents that died bc of that.

He didn’t see the boy specifically. He saw the rumbling. Connecting to the boy makes him sad cuz he probably won’t make it through the rumbling. That’s why he’ll talk to the boy Personally 1on1 (memory shard), something like “you have to do X when time comes to survive”.

He saw himself in the boy and remembered the day he lost his home and his mum.

He's reminding himself of the day everything was taken from him and where he's forced to live in a refugee camp. Also he'll need to boy to get in Fort Slava.

I think hearing all those people talk about how they'll punish the kid reminded him of Grisha's sister getting killed, and he believes its only a matter of time for the boy to receive a similar fate.

The boy and his family most likely will reject and hate Eren after finding out that he is an Eldian. Eren knows that they are good people and they don't deserve to die, but even them are going to push the Eldians away, that why peace between Eldians and humanity isn't possible in Eren's eyes.

The boy was just like him, a refugee. The difference is that the child wasn’t alone in the world, and was able to stay cheerful despite everything.

He knows he finna die in the rumbling

WHY DID EREN ASK MIKASA WHAT HE IS TO HER? 1,735 Responses

Some fantastic responses here. The majority of you seem to think Eren is seeking some form of reassurance; that he is a good person, and that he matters to her, but that the scene is not particularly framed as romantic, which as an answer only achieved third place. A number of responses focused on the fact that he might be testing if the Ackerbond is true; though it is debatable whether or not he knows of its existence at this point. Given his access to memories and Yelena’s presence on Paradis, it is not impossible that he does. At the core of the responses though, was the idea that he’s just a young man feeling guilty and seeking reassurance that he matters and is cared for.

He was testing to see if her response would be the same as how he saw it in his partial future vision.

He was questioning how free she was. Is her ties to him because of a debt owned from saving her? An obligation to family? Ackerman loyalty? He wants her love for him to be a genuine choice of hers - freedom.

He was trying to figure out whether or not the Ackerbond is true.

He's depressed and needs to know he matters

I think Eren was trying to find out if his friends love him for being "Eren", or if they simply stay by him because of loyalty. I think he was trying to find the strength to go through with the plan.

Let's break it down. The context of the situation is eren's sadness over the people he will have to kill especially the kids as he was watching the kid even eariler. now, eren is worried that mikasa's care for him is based on the belief that he's a good person who saves kids but it's not who he truly is, he has it in him to kill kids and he will. So is her care genuine if it's build upon an idealized image she has of him? He asks because he has to know and he asks and he asks again and it takes this many attempts to get mikasa to say her answer slowly. I think isayama wanted to create the impression that mikasa had a different answer in mind(that she's in love with him) then the one she gave and eren could see that so he took it to mean that " family" wasn't wholehearted. He didn't find the confidence he looked for, that her familal love was why she cared for him and not her misplaced loyalty to a saint. He had a shred of doubt that he will take to his meeting with zeke who will tell him about the ackerbond

Maybe he wanted to hear that he is just Eren and not the savior of Paradis Island or some sort of devil.

DO YOU THINK THE SCENE BETWEEN EREN AND MIKASA WAS FRAMED AS ROMANTIC? 1,761 Responses

Now this scene was very interesting. 47% of you think the scene was ‘somewhat’ romantic; that it had romantic elements to it, that it was romantic on Mikasa’s part but not Eren’s, or some other reason, but was not clear cut enough to be deemed a true romantic scene. Nonetheless, ‘yes’ was on a respectable 35% whilst ‘no’ trailed at 17%. The idea that Eren had seen this moment before and was hoping for a different answer as part of some test of whether or not the future could be changed was a common response, as in the previous question.

He loves Mikasa, thus he wants to know if Mikasa eventually feels the same, so he could have a reason not to destroy the whole world

He doesn't understand Mikasa's attachment to him

Eren has romantic feelings to Mikasa and most likely knows about her feelings to him. He was looking for a reason to change his path and start a family instead of crushing the world. The same was with Grisha, who gave up on his plan and decided to live a peaceful life with his family.

Confirm that the memories are true and to see if His future and fate with Mikasa and their relationship was already decided.

He saw this moment and hoped that Mikasa would answer differently - to see that the future isn't set in stone.

He wanted to know someone was there for him. I feel like once Eren changed he saw the true colors of the people around him and emailed that no one truly understood how he was feeling or tried to get him to talk his feelings out. I honestly don’t think that Eren likes Mikasa like that and I don’t think Mikasa knows Eren as much as she thinks she does.

He wanted to see if the future he saw was preordained. Mikasa answering that and the squad arriving with "perfect timing" made him realize it was, indeed, inevitable.

He was trying to make up his mind if either Mikasa was bound to him because of her Ackerman blood or if she had authentic feelings for him.

he was worried or afraid that he stole Mikasa's freedom

WHAT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE 104TH DRINKING TOGETHER? 1,745 Responses

In a series like this, a happy and peaceful moment like the 104th passing out together after a night spent drinking was sincerely appreciated. ~980 out of 1,745 of you said that was your favorite part of the drinking scene. 15% liked the part where Yung Fez crashed into Eren best, while 13.6% of you preferred the part where Sasha encouraged underaged drinking, and 8.4% preferred Connie and Jean’s late night resupply trip.

WHO WAS THE MOST WHOLESOME IN THE PASSED OUT SCENE? 1,753 Responses

Here we have a question with no wrong answer! Most of you seem to agree that the scene in its entirety was pretty wholesome and relaxed, something we have been missing for quite a while. That said, we did force you to pick your favourite parts, and Mikasa sleeping whilst resting against Eren won, with Eren surrounded by his friends a close second. A fitting result, for a chapter focused so much on them.

I love the wholesome flashbacks!!! like ugh yes my children deserve 2 be happy :(

Can I join the 104th getting drunk please?!

Drunk 104th squad, best squad.

I feel like the wholesomeness of the drunk shenanigans is a terrifying indication that something awful is about to happen. We needed the other flashbacks but that wasn’t necessary. It seems significant somehow.

I really enjoyed the 104th getting drunk together

WHY DO YOU THINK EREN LEFT WHEN HE DID? 1,733 Responses

Eren quietly left after one last night of partying with his friends, but why then? 60.9% say he left immediately following the man at the podium speaking due to it signifying to him peace wasn’t a plausible option. 32.3% think he had been planning to leave at that specific time for a while no matter what; and 4.6% say his conversation with Mikasa lead to him choosing to leave the next day.

Either the man's words led him to believe peace was impossible or he's a slave to the predetermined future he's seen.

He became disheartened and made up his mind to carry his own plan

He knew less people would notice and nobody could follow him so by the time they decided to chase him he'd be safe

He got some insight from the man on the podium on how they view Paradis, I felt like he left to truly confirm that this was their belief and peace wasn't an option. Hence why during the marly arc it was said that Eren vanished and lived in Marley for a while before attacking during the festival. + he was following the flow of his vision.

He had further proof for why the future that he saw couldn’t be stopped anymore.

Hearing the terrible speech from someone who they hoped would support him confirmed Eren’s suspicions that the world really is their enemy.

His plan to leave had been forming for some time. He was willing to try and search for some of these non-violent solutions the others were aimed for, but watching that speech just confirmed to him that there were no peaceful solutions for the Eldians of Paradise. Even the people most sympathetic to Eldians in general, still wanted to lay waste to the Paradise Eldians. Eren does care about his friends, and to him, this is the only way to go forward that ensures they will be safe.

He had it all planned and was looking for a reason not to do it, but didn't find any :(

That activist's words were just the cherry on top confirmation that peace was near impossible.

The Eren of the future made him decide to go

DO YOU THINK MIKASA’S ANSWER TO EREN HAD ANY EFFECT ON HIS ACTIONS? 1,749 Responses

Mikasa regrets what she said to Eren and blames herself for his actions, is she right? 63.5% agree it could have changed something, but never his end goal. 22.6% don’t think it had any bearing on Eren’s actions or goal, and 11.9% believe he would have changed his path completely upon a different response.

Absolutely unsure. It might have made a difference, maybe not. In the end, it's the question if one can change the future they have seen thanks to the Attack Titan, I guess. Or if it's inevitable as Eren said.

Communication with her and his friends as a whole could've possibly changed things

I think that’s exactly what Eren needed to hear. He refuses to lose anymore family. It reaffirmed him.

If mikasa had said anything different than what she said, it would confirm that the future he saw was not definite. That the world would not be ending. That there was a different way. And he could have taken that path.

He might’ve not done what he did in 112 to Mikasa. A fight could’ve been avoided.

I think Eren would've most certainly stayed with his family (yes I call them family) and changed his plan to align with what Mikasa and Armin favor at the moment, simply crushing the allied forces with the rumbling rather than crushing all of Planet Earth.

He was only trying to convince himself Mikasa was not taking care of him only because her Ackerman blood

It might not have changed his plan completely, but I believe it would have mattered in some way. Perhaps he subconsciously wanted her to talk him out of it.

I think he already knew the answer she was going to give, and by asking only confirmed what he knew. If she would have confessed it would have thrown Eren off for a moment only for him to stick to his plan no matter the cost.

It just affected his mood, not his decisions.

We honestly couldn't possibly know, and I think that is the beauty and the point of the entire scene.

I have no clue but I must scream AAAAA

We'll never know. And I think that's the point.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF EREN’S TITAN FORMING? 1,760 Responses

Despite the unusual shape and size of Eren’s final titan form, only 5% expressed that they where not a fan of it. The remaining 95% of the fandom was impressed with “WOAH” (42%) being the word that best sums things up

Bruh he can't even move in that form

Bridge titan

His titan is a homage to Godzilla, which was a homage to nuclear weapons so things have really come full circle

I think it just looks cool

I think he'll be over 500 meters. He'll be gigantic. The devil that oversees the destruction of the world. Godzilla Titan. It'll make the size of the Wallossals look like regular pure titans compared to the colossus.

It's a monstrous form to emphasise his monstrous actions.

Maybe it's a literal manifestation of activating the founder's powers from Ymir, but it can be symbolic of him being "unstoppable" at this point.

Renewed rotisserie chicken titan with SPIKES

This is pure conjecture but I think the titan is immobile. The limbs are tiny and if the ribs aren't imbedded in the ground they'll certainly cause a lot of friction. Also, it it very cage-like, and like the houses of Shiganshina it looks like the Colossus Titans are avoiding it. So.., perhaps people will be able to hide out inside it?

What if the two “spine flaps” develop into wings?

DO YOU THINK THE SIZE AND/OR SHAPE OF EREN’S TITAN WILL BE IMPORTANT? 1,740 Responses

The general consensus is that Eren’s 15117 meter titan is going to have some unique significance. ~20% don’t think it will, and the rest have varying thoughts. Let’s take a look at them:

I figure it had something to with the founding titan power since we saw something similar with Rod when turned into a titan but, other than that I'm not sure

I think it is just a sign that brute force it will not effective to defeat him. That there is another way to stop him.

I think it’s the original form of the centispine

Chekhov’s plane

"size and shape of Eren's TITAN"? I like you very much poll people 😂

It will resemble the size of Yimr’s Founding Titan

It'd be very funny if he just...couldn't move.

No one engages thicc mode for no reason

Somewhat. Seems like the size would make it not be able to move, but it seems like a central node of sorts.

THE WALL TITANS ARE ABLE TO TURN AROUND, AND THEY’RE COMING FROM WALL MARIA TOO! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE START OF WHAT APPEARS TO BE A RUMBLING? 1,743 Responses

The fandom was unswayed by speculation about the titans position in the walls and all the things that could go wrong, so it was time for bragging rights. “I knew Eren would have control of them” was the most popular answer (37.5%).

Curiosity about the rest of Paradis was secondary. “I hope we get to see the status of the other walls” (31.8%) and “They’re causing so much destruction to Paradis” (28.2%) were in the second and third spots. The write-ins were filled with questions about swimming titans. In retrospect, we should’ve had that as an option.

Can those Titans really travel across the ocean? They're big and all, but can they grasp the necessary movements to go through water? They were put in place to destroy THE ISLAND, after all. How slow would they be at that? Rumbling sounds dramatic but there's still plenty of time before shit starts to go down in other nations

Eren seems to be trying to minimize as much damage to Paradis as you can see how the colossal titans are walking organized in a single-file line.

I don't care I'm just worried about the Blouse family!

I hope wall Rose & Sina are ok. If not, then are favs families are in danger.

I knew Eren was going all out on this, meaning making all the walls collapse and this scene was just awe-inspiring and terrifying, holly hell

I hate this, is that an acceptable answer?

I wish we would’ve gotten to see more of it.

I'm worried about everyone, even the people from Paradis. I trust Eren's powers but I don't think it's the right choice. I have hopes that his plan turns out bigger than this.

This is a perfect excuse to see the northern district

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF EREN SPEAKING TO ALL ELDIANS THROUGH PATHS? 1,741 Responses

The numbers are in, and JUST shy of 90% of you thought it was really cool to see Eren use PATHS FM to talk to every single Eldian. A few others don’t love the prominence of the P A T H S. Let’s look at a few other thoughts:

A mix of the two. Loved it, incredible dramatic effect, but what the actual fuck PATHS can't do anymore

Awesome. It's important to the plan that Eldians on the mainland heard his message too.

Chilling. Oh my god, the king is speaking.

Fucking awesome and Annie 100% heard him talking

Hahaha what the sweet fucc

@everyone

It feels weird the way he announced it... something’s up.

Tell everyone he knows his true intentions. Or makes someone make a choice based on what he's planned, which is the real outcome hes seen.

Very Interesting. Annie will likely hear and not be too thrilled.

WHAT IS YOUR PRIMARY THOUGHT ABOUT EREN’S MONOLOGUE? 1,751 Responses

The snk fandom? Divided on Eren’s actions? Who could have predicted this!? 31.2% of respondents said that, above all else, they were primarily glad to see Eren’s thoughts and plans finally revealed. Trailing close behind, like Shia Lebeauf, 31% said that Eren’s monologue will go down as one of the greatest speeches in anime/manga history.

23.2% were disturbed that Eren’s plan was about killing billions of people. 11.1% of voters were just Connie Springer on 190 computers, saying, “It didn’t seem like Eren. It gives me hope that this isn’t his true plan.”

You’ll notice that there’s a seemingly missing part of the graph. Nothing is actually missing there, that’s just like, sixty different 1 vote responses. Three cheers for technological limitations!

Both awed and disturbed

Epic, not quite as epic as Erwin's speech from The Nameless Soldiers, but the artwork and transitions between real world and path world were amazing and really added a lot.

He's making himself into an enemy that the world will unite to defeat.

I am sad to see the decision he took. I do understand his motives and I also feel like there's no other way, the cycle of war and hatred would continue until one of the two people is exterminated. Let's not forget that Marley and other nations want to exterminate the eldians. In a sense, he's trying to protect his people, it's a sort of self defense. That's not to say it's the best way.

I don’t necessarily believe it since his flashback/pov is not even shown yet.

Well yeah, I'm in to what I think he's planning

well, it's clear that Eren will be the final antagonist.

Yuuki Kaiji's going to snatch all of us when this hits the anime

EVERY EREN IS HOT. TRUE OR FALSE? 1,772 Responses

Dedication to Eren in all his forms is clearly evident as 52.9% classify Eren’s nightmarish final titan form as hot.

I hope Eren’s face doesn’t stay that messed up

Eren is a chad and needs more shirtless panels.

Eren's face looks like an Oni mask in the last panel

DO YOU THINK MIKASA BEING PRESENT IN THE PATHS DIMENSION DECIDES THAT SHE HAS ELDIAN BLOOD, ONCE AND FOR ALL? 1,742 Responses

We thought this was an important question to ask, as many fans are confused as to the exact nature of Mikasa’s heritage and blood. Therefore, a lot of the responses we got were from fans who thought it was obvious she had Eldian blood; despite this, the majority of you still think she cannot turn into a titan, perhaps because the Ackerman genome prevents it. Nonetheless, a small number of fans also seem to think she has no Eldian blood at all, and is only in the paths dimension due to touching Armin.

Ackerman is said to be sub product of titan experiment. It is possible that Eldian Empire injected Titan Shifter's spinal fluid to non eldian, including Ackerman. They have maybe little DNA of Eldian that related to Titan transformation.

Ackermans are titan experients that use the paths ... so Im not surprised she is there ... I dont think that necessarily means she can turn into a titan

Don't Ackermans have access to PATHS as well, even though they don't have Eldian blood? Or do they have a separate PATHS dimension? I think Levi's on the brink of death situation will answer this

Hasn't it been clear for a long time that she has Eldian blood?

I always thought the Ackermans were of Eldian blood.

I didn't even knew there was doubt

No, she touched Armin

No, she's there because she's touching Armin

She always was eldian you dolts lol

DO YOU THINK EREN TRULY INTENDS TO DESTROY THE WORLD, OR DO YOU THINK HE’S BLUFFING? 1,755 Responses

What’s the expression, “Nothing new under the sun?” Eren’s been talking about destroying the entire world since Season 1, and nearly 60% (58.2, technically) of you guys think he’s actually about to do it. Just over a third (33.9%) of you think he’s totally bluffing, and if I can do math at at least a third grade level, that leaves 7.9% of you guys unsure about whether or not he’s telling the truth.

IF YOU BELIEVE HE’S BEING HONEST ABOUT HIS INTENTIONS, DO YOU THINK THAT HE WILL BE STOPPED? 1,705 Responses

Regardless of how we view the full rumbling, 60% of the fandom think he’ll be stopped one way or another. Armin and Mikasa stopping the genocide was the top answer (37.8%) followed by the Survey Corps (7.1%). Zeke saving his little brother (3%) narrowly edged out the Warriors (2.5%). As always, we had plenty of write ins.

Survey Corps x Warriors team up to stop the mad lad himself

All mentioned groups will finally work together to stop him

All of these options are possible, and I'm scared.

Armin and Reiner will probably be the ones to stop him.

Armin Arlert, Reiner (Helos) Braun, and Annie will team up to stop him. titan Reiner will ride on titan Armin's shoulders and blend into the colossal crowd, until they get close enough to stop Eren. Then Annie, awaken by the total rumbling, will use her scream to cause the collosals to consume each other. the end

Armin or Mikasa will have to kill him

At this point, i believe that Zeke, The Warriors and probably someone from the old gang will join to stop him.

Both sides like the paradise/survey corps and Marley/the warriors/rest of the world will work the together as one to take down one powerful enemy, it’s eren Yeager and his army of wall Titans that will destroy the outside lands

Eren said when Armin was dying that Armin would be the one to save the world. Maybe it's something he saw from the future.

Everyone else except Zeke and a few others (like Yelena and Floch) will be involved in stopping him as well as making sure Zeke doesn't get his will either

He won't stop out of his own free will, but something might go wrong and the rumbling will get interrupted before the whole world is gone.

I don't think he will be (or even could be) stopped, but I believe the SC and the warriors will still try to stop him

Yes, every nation in the world + Paradis will gang up in a Great Alliance

I hope he can be stopped somehow but I don’t know how. Poor Ymir might have to make another awful sacrifice. Ugh. Or historia.

I think he will be stopped. I think he WANTS to be stopped. But I'm not sure by who and how

Reiner will stop him, at the cost of both of their lives

I'd like to choose the first option but I don't think A-M will succeed only with 'talks'. I believe they'll be forced to do 'something more' than it.

No "Team Effort" answer?

Ymir will stop him

IF EREN IS NOT BLUFFING, DO YOU BELIEVE THAT HIS ACTIONS ARE JUSTIFIED? 1,759 Responses

Eren’s seemingly finally revealed his plan, and it’s drastic. But is it justified? We got an incredibly close split, showing just how divisive Eren’s actions are, but also that there’s a lot of support on both sides. By a hair, at 50.4%, the fandom is overall condemning of Eren, while the other half at 49.6% can see where he’s coming from.

This chapter made me to understand Eren better. I found that he hasn't changed and he is really in pain. Eren didn't turn into a cruel monster who hates his friends. He is full of pain because he believes that his fate is about killing a lot of innocent people. He was trying to avoid it as much as he could but for some reason the vision of the future was always right. I believe that Eren isn't free but is a big slave of his own beliefs. He is sure that he cannot change anything. Yet he forgot that his freedom is about his decisions and actions he takes.

There is no such thing as self-defense genocide, as much part of the fandom wants to force it to be neither is ever justifiable

There is more to Eren's plan. Perhaps it's a bluff? Or a warning/threat? It will go much deeper than What It appears now.

Opens a lot of interpretations, which I am not a fan of. Eren still has not proven himself to be a villain or a hero. Will have to wait

We need a way to put Eren down. He’s already disposed of Zeke’s plan, now he’s calling out for help. He’s taunting every Eldian via paths to try and stop him, to please stop him. Armin has been foreshadowed as the one to save humanity, and I think now he will live up to it to protect the ones he loves.

I don´t understand how you could justify Eren´s doings. To save his homeland, to protect his family is not enough to justify this genocide. I hardly sympathize with him, and killing each and everyone of his enemies is not the right solution.

The chapter was great but seriously ppl who are trying to justify eren's plan and motives just need to calm the fuck down

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☆★☆ ＥＲＥＮＹＥＡＧＥＲＤＩＤＮＯＴＨＩＮＧＷＲＯＮＧ ☆★☆

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DO YOU THINK THAT EREN IS THE VILLAIN IN THIS STORY? 1,769 Responses

Token Eren supporter here. This graph speaks for itself, so instead of rattling off numbers at you guys for like, the fifteenth time this post, here are some fun, relevant facts:

You can’t spell slaughter without laughter!

There are an estimated 12 times more trees on the planet than there are stars in the galaxy. That’s a LOT of places to check for a centispine.

Eren Jaeger did nothing wrong

Those are some neat facts! That’s probably because I’m a genius and I’m way smarter than everyone, because I support Eren Jaeger. Now before you REEEEE in the comments, here are the thoughts of the unwashed masses:

At this point, I see Eren is a example of 'You either die a hero or live long enough to you see yourself as the villian' and somewhat of anti-Villain.

Eren is not *the* villain, but he is *a* villain. SNK has always emphasised multiple points of view. There will never be The Villain.

WHICH STATEMENT MOST CLOSELY MATCHES YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT EREN’S PLAN? 1,749 Responses

Thoughts on Eren’s plan are very interesting to look at, so let’s look at these numbers on the graph in another way. While the majority, at 57.8% agree that Eren’s plan is the best route, they admit it’s cruel. So while this number outshines the total 34.9% that don’t side with him, both groups of not siding with him outshine the 7.3% that gave Eren’s plan the best moral ranking you could out of the options.

Even I, eternally wary of Eren and all extremist characters in general, was surprised that his plan was unlimited destruction rather than offensive attacks until capitulation. The wholesale destruction of every living being without actually knowing whether they personally hate and fear Paradis is vicious and fearful beyond what I expected from him.

Eren is a great MC for his grey areas so I don't like people reducing him to just evil when it's clear that it's his desperation and love for the Eldians what led him to this. I hope when the anime comes the public will see the bigger scheme and not just hear the words of a "genocidal" because that isn't Isayama's intention at all.

Eren did nothing wrong! But seriously I question if there was really another way since the ones ruling the rest of the world are determined to end paradisians if not all eldians. Eren being able to see glimpses of the future is a curse which drained him and ultimately he wished for things to be different but the world would not allow that.

It upset me because genocide and I want to think there’s another twist coming but I wouldn’t say it’s ooc if the spade is indeed a spade.

Already knew his plan is mass genocide. Now my only hope is for his friends to stop and defeat him.

I think the outcome of his plan will be really bad. Even though I understand his intentions and don't even think he's a villain at all, someone will have to stop him and "set him free" just like he did with Ymir. I think that we're gonna lose Eren forever and that makes me really heartbroken.

#ErenDidNothingWrong2k19

DO YOU THINK HISTORIA'S ALLEGIANCE IS WITH EREN? DO YOU THINK THEY'VE BEEN WORKING TOGETHER? 1,736 Responses

Historia is still a big question mark at this point, do you think she’s in line with Eren now that we know what he wants? A little less than ⅔, at 63.5% say yes they’re working together, whereas about ⅓, at 36.5% still aren’t convinced she’s aligned herself with him.

This is Eren moving his Chess piece. I’m excited to see Historia make her move. Then to see how the Warriors and rest of the world are going to counterattack.

I'd love to see Historia's POV sooner or later

Eren already made up his mind since he talked with Yelena and Historia before his depart.

What does Hisu think about all the kids who weren't lucky enough to be born within the walls being crushed to death? Is she still determined to rush out there and tell them that they should have been born? Because there are gonna be a loooot of kids who wish they weren't born if Eren succeeds.

I hope we'll soon get to see Historia & Annie.

WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,746 Responses

With the series winding to a close, we want it all and we want it now! While the Rumbling (27.2%), present day Levi and Hange (24.8%), and Historia (24.2%) are the top 3, requests for Annie have been up slightly with the last two chapters. The possibility of her being in the PATHS realm is strong. She was mentioned 21 times in the write-ins.

I just. Need Annie. For god's sake I can't go on reading snk without her I-

I want more rumbling and less flashbacks.

I hope to see Annie in the next one, that's all

The last question was unfair, there are so many thing I want to see next :D of course annie historia levi hange, as always. But I chose the eren-fez boy memory because it's the most relevant part now and I fear that if we don't see it now we'll never see it.

I want to see Annie and Hange/Levi AND rumbling AND more drunk 104th AND Historia and OMG pls show all in next 40 pages Yams thankx

Rumbling and Warriors! I want to see jean, reiner, and connie react to earth devil eren who is transforming in front of them. Mayne we'll see a reunion from jean/connie with their former brother figure Reiner. They'll work together.

i WANT TO SEE THE RUMBLING GOING FULL FORCE WITH NO HALF ASS STOP!!

I understand that flasbacks are very important, but I hope to see present-time action more

Less flashbacks, more rumble

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Levi anda hange come back in beg you

Why can't I pick all the options for the last question :(((

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,651 Responses

Reddit continues to dominate the discussion field, followed distantly by Tumblr. The mind absolutely boggles trying to understand why there could have been an exodus of Tumblr users that used to discuss the series there. I still remain thoroughly convinced that you four that voted snapchat either all know each other, or you’re all voting it for the meme. Nonetheless, unironically, jokes aside, in all seriousness, so there can be no doubt, genuinely, we appreciate poll takers from all platforms!

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 366 Responses

Awesome!!! Cruel, but Awesome!!!

God I had missed Levi so much

AoT has been one heck of a villain origin story

STEP ON ME, DADDY EREN

AoT has been delivering amazing chapters non-stop, and I fucking love it

Just hope floch lives tbh

My heart is shattered because of Eren. I truly love him and don't him to suffer anymore. I don't want to see Mikasa and Armin suffering for him again (I will never recover from chapter 112. I literally cried my eyes out when I read it).

I believe in Eren even if I don't like the fact that he's ready to kill (as it seems) the rest of the world. We still need some more fb and the one we got was amazing. It was really moving. I can't wait to see what happens next

For the past year, the manga just continues peaking and peaking. Eren is the greatest character in the story and these last 5 chapters have each been contender for the greatest chapter.

Incredible, Isayama has nailed how to tie flashbacks into what's happening presently in the story. This is by far the darkest chapter yet... can't wait to see what's next.

Best chapter of the entire story in my opinion and possibly the best chapter of all manga.

I hope this doesn't go the Code Geass route.

Best. Chapter. Ever. It puts everything together. I can't wait to see the next chapters, especially Eren's POV, though I kinda think we might only be getting it in the very last chapter.

The logistic problems of getting the wall titans to the other nations alone is enough to make me question whether they'll ever make it before Eren is stopped. Literally how are they going to get across the ocean? Stick rafts (I mean we've seen Eren's titan build a stick house before so that would be quite fun to me actually)? I sincerely doubt Eren is going to Paths-transmit a frontcrawl swimming lesson to them, and if they just trundle across the ocean floor they're going to run out of energy since neither sunlight nor moonlight can penetrate to that depth. AND they're gonna crush every fucking thing between them and ocean on their way!! Those things are far too massive to manoeuvre themselves around Paradis civilians. I just...don't see how this can work even if we DON'T look at the moral implications!

Founding Titan is overpowered as fuck. I can't stop thinking about that panel from chapter 2, when Reiner says Eren is the worst person to have the founding titan. I guess he was right

I felt that it was odd for eren to declare his motive especially when he knows Eldians from Marley can here it as well, I felt that he had ulterior motives.

Who needs cell phones when you have Paths?

Although I knew it was coming, I feel disappointed that the series went this way. Worldwide destruction is cartoonishly evil so I had been hoping that my fears wouldn't be realized. If we had to have this, I would have rather at least followed Eren through the events and gotten his direct PoV, rather than having his PoV become the new mystery drawn out over the course of a few years' worth of chapters, just to end up with this easily-guessed endgame, and only getting brief flashbacks to make us understand how it got to this point. I'm really underwhelmed by this arc.

Didnt think he'd legit kill every human. Doesnt even make sense. He doesnt really know what people think outside of what he's seen/what Kiyomi says. Talk about being ignorant.

Honestly, this may be dumb of me but I was expecting something a bit more nuanced? And, maybe it is we'll have to see. I'm not disappointed, but i guess I'm not all that surprised either. I'm more like, 'huh. i see'

I don't buy that he really wants to annihilate everyone outside Paradis (think of fez kid and family!) so I'm mostly curious why he needs to tell a lie only Subjects of Ymir will hear.

@the question "is eren the villain". I answered no but he's definetely *a* villain in this story.

Before reading this chapter, I was expecting to see mass destruction and I thought I was gonna be really sad while reading it, but I really like how there was a flashback. I know after the cliffhanger from last chapter, I didn't want a change of perspective, but I was actually happy to see the squad together in Marley because I do miss them all together ...I also really loved Levi in the flashback. It was hilarious when the clown thought he was a kid and I loved how he saved that kid who pick-pocketed Sasha. Seeing him the flash back made me realize how much I missed him and I really hope he is alive the next time we see him because he deserves to survive the end.

Christ, Eren is scary. I really hope he doesn't succeed, his plan won't bring peace

Drunk 104th squad, is the best squad

ELDIA 4 EVER

EM SCENES WERE SO GOOD AND BITTERSWEET!

Eren is about to pull a Lelouch so much.

Eren is more like Light then Lelouch

Eren is risking everybody on Paradis since he destroyed the three walls. It's not like he gave a delay for everybody to hide behind Wall Sina and unleash destruction with Wall Rose and Maria. The battlefield happens to be lucky because the city is deserted and Shiganshina is the southermonst part of the walled section. But in the meantime Eren is terrorizing the entire population on the island and might even kill those in the way. He's not doing this for Eldian supremacy either since mainland Eldians fall under the scope of his attack. Hell even their allies, Hizuru, are on his target list.

Everything about this chapter is SAD, eren leave his beatiful life with his friends, make a big responsibility on his shoulder ALONE, His friends denying about his behaviour change, forced to see a horror scenery in his mind (from future or past memories), and so yeah i hope eren will be "saved" by someone dont make him a mass murderer because his decided future. Someone like mikasa and armin, please..

the artwork in this chapter was quite fantastic. Some really good panels, and the last double page was just phenomenal. 11/10 for the artwork.

Given Eren specified that the walls' hardening had been undone, I think we will not only see Annie return given her hardened crystal may shatter, but I think next chapter we will see the return of all of the characters we haven't seen for a while as they look onto the horizon to see what has begun

There have been many warning signs throughout the manga that Eren’s ultimate goals have always been extreme, extreme to the point of complete annihilation, starting with the desire of completely annihilating the titans and then everyone who isn’t a subject of Ymir.

I definitely liked that we get a flashback, showing our favorite characters together one last time before everything goes down. But I REALLY think it’s about time we get to see Levi & Hange, especially Annie again in the next chapter.

I don't understand how so many people in the fandom are shocked that Eren wants to destroy the world, it was pretty obvious for a while. Also I'm really disturbed how many of his rabid stans still defends him... I mean, c'mon, you can love him and understand his reasons, but justify him and rooting for him is just fucked up.

I enjoyed it overall, but i did not expect or like the fact that the flashback took around 70% of the chapter. Specially when the flashback itself does not provide any kind of new information that we did not see in other chapters, other than the fact of showing us the Paradise main cast being on Marley for the first time, wich i loved.

Nothing can justify genocide, but I understand and feel sorry for him. This whole chapter is about him crying out for help, trying to change the future events he’s already seen, hoping desperately that SOMETHING will go differently and that he won’t have to do what he has to. But the world of Attack On Titan is a cruel place and the conflict between Eldia and the rest of the world won’t go away until one of them is destroyed. Zeke chose the world, Eren chose his country, his people and his friends.

I like to think that Eren at his core really does only wish to save the people he loves and promised to protect and fight for, and that he doesn't really want genocide and will even soften up soon, even if he needs help to be snapped out of it first. I also like to think his whole being, mind and ideology and all got convoluted when mingled together with the wills and memories of so many other previous titan holders, and that not everything is his own genuine will or wish.

I really hope Eren's solution will mirror the 'miracle' that happened between Uri and Kenny back in Ch. 69. Uri asked whether it was violence that averted their path of mutual destruction, and while Kenny makes a snarky remark about how Uri grabbed Kenny with his titanized hand, I think there's some truth in that. Perhaps Eren will clutch the world with the wall titans and stop the rumbling just short? Though I can't see Eren going to his knees like Uri did, so this may just be wishful thinking. Guess we'll see next month.

I really love how Eren turned out although some might think him as a heartless person. But that scene with him silently shedding a tear shows that he still has emotions and feels empathy & sympathy towards others. He is still very clear of his goal and plan and his courage to do what he thinks it's right even though everyone has doubts towards him really shows his courage to always move forward no matter what. I don't think destroying the whole world was his true plan after all, it just seemed way too far fetched for me. I can't wait for the next chapter to reveal more of his intentions and plan.

I really love the chapter because it was wholesome and tragic at same time which the author is good at balancing bittersweet stuff to his work which I love and respect him for doing it

I think it is time to the Ackermans to shine in this final battle. They cannot be controled by the FT unlike the rest of the eldians (including Historia and Zeke). I bet my money to Mikasa to become the "reincarnation of Helos" and defeat Eren (with a tons of angst betwixt). Kill your beloved one? sound like another twisted and evil idea from Isayama to make us suffer, his readers.

I thought I'll say that but here I am. I believed there is enough good in Eren Yeager to fight for all people. I was wrong and that hurts. I'm totally suing him.

I thought Ymir would do the rumbling though. Ymir, please show yourself more!

I’m so sad.. I love you Eren.. please use your pretty brain even though I know you’re trying so damn hard I love you and you deserve better

Isayama was attempting murder with that Eren and Mikasa conversation. I never thought he would make Eren ask something like "what am I to you?" to Mikasa in fucking canon and I almost died while reading.

i really miss when everything was about just killing titans, even tho i really like how the story is developing at this point. i could never imagined it wiil be like this.

look guys I know diplomacy isnt flashy and you want Eren to be the tormented anti-hero fighting for the little people. but I swear some of you are thirteen years old with the level of nuance you can apparently handle. Gabi is devil incarnate but Eren is justified in murdering billions of people he's never met or talked to because he's afraid they might not like him? You need to be better than this.

Looking forward to seeing the carnage Eren unleashes after years of abuse from Marley and the outside world.

Masterpiece!!! Love it!! It’s like you got a little bit of everything in this chapter! Mikasa POV, The Rumbling, a little bit of fan service, the Eren and mikasa talk .. 10/10

Eren using titans to kill his enemies? That the first king. This is the reason everyone hates Eldians, Eren what the fuck

Kiyomi is the most fishy character of Snk. I have noticed Kiyomi seldom makes eye contacts with the Survey Corps during the talk. She definitely hides info and lies to them.

Remember that you would most likely not be on Paradis. You would most likely be minding your own business, rocking your child to sleep or visiting your grandma, when that wall of titans came to crush the life out of you for the sin of being born in the wrong place at the wrong time. And if we thought that was unacceptable when it happened to Eren and co. then we must consider it unacceptable for every other innocent civilian caught in the crosshairs of war.

Seeing the "hero" descending to full villain and it being true would be crushingly sad, but cool and very daring at the same time. I'm not sure if it's definitely what Isayama is doing, but it'd be very ballsy and I'd adknowledge that. I love irony and it would be very ironic so, yeah.

Shows how miserable Eren's life truly is. He clearly doesn't want to do what he is doing but also understands that it NEEDS to be done. It can be only him and nobody else. How we went from an angry boi to a literal god.

SnK is the only series that can make me simultaneously want to see Eren fucking obliterate everything, but also want to see "those days" come back.

Starting of with the *many* elephants in this rom, I really liked how Issayma portrayed the colossal Titans marching. It looks so gloomy and dark. The flashback parts were so wholesome, especially for a a chapter about genocide. Having this shift in tone from the start was a great idea. I'm still not a fan of Eren destroying the entire world. I know it's the probably the only definite solution but I'm starting to like Zeke's Plan more now lol

Team Eren. Reset the world!

The beginning was so freaking cute. By the end, I felt disturbed and disappointed. I thought Yams was doing something that didn't make sense. But now I strongly feel that we still haven't had Eren's real plan revealed to us. Eren intends to sacrifice himself, letting his friends defeat him to convince the world to see Paradis in a different light and make peace possible.

Zook faceplanting the sand is a power move

What a chapter! Feels like last final breath before shit will hit the fan for real, can't wait for next chapter...

#snk poll #snk polls #snk chapter 123 #snk 123 #snk poll results

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