#it's definitely a Me Problem but there's so many good posts i haven't reblogged

[nientedal]

"Zira" "Azi" "Az" SIGHHHHHH

is anybody else irritated at the widespread fandom nicknaming of Aziraphale and fucking nobody else? is that just me? because it really feels like a "oooh [wince-hisses through teeth], no, that's too long and weird. that's too hard. i'm gonna call you This instead" situation, and i do not care for it. it pissed me off when i was writing good omens fanfic thirteen years ago and it pisses me off now. you care enough about everyone else to get their names right, all the unusual demon and angel monikers, but oh no, Aziraphale, oh that's ten whole letters, that's way too long. oh you're not gonna bother to type all that, no, his name is just Zira now.

and like, he's not real, so this super duper does not matter and isn't deeply and incredibly shitty the way it is when it's directed at real people. but it still rubs me the wrong way every time i see it. that's not his name! why is his name not good enough for you to take the time to type out the way you do for everyone else! ugh.

#i dunno. i dunno. #i am hoping posting this gets it off my chest and helps me stop being quite as fucking annoyed about it #this isn't directed at any one person #this is widespread #i haven't seen nicknaming to this degree in ANY other fandom #which is why i can't just tell myself it's a friendly nickname because he's likeable and familiar or whatever #it's definitely a Me Problem but there's so many good posts i haven't reblogged #or have sighed while reblogging or just straight up have stopped reading because of this #i do realize that for a lot of folks #it's probably just that they've seen other people doing it and figured it's just part of the good omens fandom culture #i don't care :/ #NOBODY ELSE gets nicknamed like this

[drconstellation]

More Half-and-Half-A-Miracle Thoughts

Part 1: Miracle Power Ranking

Part 2: The Dark side of Aziraphale is here. Part 3: The Third Archangel

I was originally going to add some comments as a reblog to @nofomogirl's post on why the 25 Lazurii miracle was so powerful, but the initial thought I had on the matter slipped away from me during that day, and I was left looking at a glimpse at the viridian green back panel of Aziraphale's waistcoat and wondering what had sparked my original thought, and any attempt to try and grasp it again was a futile as Muriel trying to open Gabriel's file in Heaven.

So I wandered off on other tangents, explored other topics I was curious about, and enjoyed reading the new posts that went up, but the ghost of that viridian green panel kept lurking about with a sharp stick to remind me it was there. So I'm here to post some more thoughts in addition to the op's post that I feel might add to the discussion about the little miracle that worked too well.

I also want to say before I get stuck in (and warning - this is going to be a long one!) that I think no matter how much we discuss this or dig at it, ultimately we just don't have enough information to have a definitive answer as to the why at the moment, and, we may never know. But I'm going to speak because I think I there is at least one thing I haven't seen discussed yet in context with this scene, and should be (at least, I haven't seen it yet - if you have, please let me know.)

So if you're in a TL:DR mode and don't want to open links, here is the list of current theories of why two little "half miracles" made one mighty one:

Theory#1: It's love

Theory #2: It's them

Theory#3: It's a fusion

Theory #4: It's Gabriel

Theory #5: It's the portal (that they did it on top of)

To preface my answering ramble the TL:DR again is - its a fusion of "them" i.e. both #2 and #3 together. As in Aziraphale x Gabriel x Crowley. 3x3x3

Hang on, that's 27! Not 25! yeah, yeah, I'm not that bad at math. And I'll admit it doesn't fit - it doesn't "snap" into place. But its either that or 5x5 and I wanted to consider all three elements in this miracle working together for the discussion at the start. And there seems to an emphasis on 3's as well as 7's (Maybe you can cut the middle out at the end, once you can see the bigger picture I'm trying to present, but lets leave it this way for now. Maybe it will give you another idea...)

Firstly, consider the three elements, working in synergy. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. As Crowley describes it in S2E6: " Apparently, if we do a miracle together, it all works a bit too well." (I was originally thinking of the word "gestalt" but on reflection its probably not the right one.)

"...if we..."

Let's ask who is "we" at this point, and how much miracle power they are contributing to the miracle. Are they contributing equally? Yes? Or no? I want to take a closer look at miracle power: the knowns, the unknowns and the possibilities to explore that.

We've already been told that most day-to-day miracles are down in the mili-Lazurii level, a mere few thousandth of the power of the hiding miracle. And this makes sense - we don't see our protagonists bringing the dead back to life willy-nilly. Aziraphale mentions getting into trouble for doing "too many frivolous miracles." But if its one thing Good Omens stands out for its the conspicuous lack of displays of stupendous power. And this actually doesn't help our understanding of the problem.

Indulge me in a "ranking of power" exercise, if you will.

At the top we have the big three - no, four - er, lets make that five actually! Five ineffably, unarguably, omnipotent entities that every one respects and no one will mess with. They can essentially do what ever they will.

God, and Her (ex-) bestie, Satan.

Azrael, the angel of Death.

Adam Young, the Antichrist, who has retained his powers and is still protecting Tadfield.

And lastly the yet-to be revealed second coming of Jesus Christ.

Lets put them all aside and out of the equation.

Next, we have the Metatron, whom we haven't seen lift a finger, only his voice, yet the mere sight of his face evokes fear. How much miracle power can he wield? That's a big unknown, unfortunately. But being the current right-hand being of the Almighty must give him some serious grunt.

The top brass of the respective bureaucracies starts to raise questions. We have our senior Archangels (the seraphim) and the Dukes of Hell. I have no doubt that Gabriel, as Supreme Archangel of all Heaven, should be capable of performing at least a 1 Lazurii miracle on his own if required, and he could even have the potential to stretch to 25 Lazurii...if he could be bothered.

We know that they can be promoted in an out of those positions, and that raises questions about what happens to their powers when they get promoted or demoted. To gain power when promoted? Or lose it when demoted? Or is it a simply a matter of belief? In which case it might rely on the individual's personality.

When looking for examples of expressed power, in both the book and tv series, it is easier to come up with examples of demonic miracles than angelic miracles, and it makes things look a bit biased, imo. I mean, Crowley aside for the moment (I'll get back to him shortly) you have to be impressed with Hastur's escape from the ansaphone into the call center and manifesting into the mass of maggots, for all he was a bit old fashioned and smelled like poo. Shax playing games with Crowley just outside the shop in S2, manifesting as different characters in rapid succession has to be up there with another good demo of demon power (which it certainly worked to needle Crowley into losing his temper with them.)

What do we see the Archangels do in comparison? Hmm. Bitch and snitch. Gossip with Hell on the back stairs. Pretend to be buying pornography from Aziraphale. Then physically punch our angel in guts for fraternizing with a demon before disappearing back to Heaven . Not much.

OK, so Gabriel arrives on a lightning bolt at Tadfield airbase

and there is that intriguing discussion with Sandalphon regarding Sodom and Gomorrah (just read above the cut, that's the important bit for this meta later on) where he was doing quite a bit of smiting, but its all off screen and in the distant past, we don't actually see them in action.

Which brings us back to Crowley and Aziraphale. And then more Aziraphale manipulating Crowley into performing miracles for him so he doesn't have to (the little minx.) The list of miracles I can think of that we have seen Crowley do is far longer and seems more impressive than what Aziraphale has done. Oh, but there is the Eldritch Ball, you say? Controlling multiple people at once? (Hold that thought.) He also sent the soldier at the entry gate of the Tadfield airbase all the way back to his home in the USA in an instant (according to the book) and he flew the moped with both Madame Tracey and Shadwell over the top of the Odegra ring of demon fire to get to Tadfield (again, as mentioned in the book.) And as the op back here says, why didn't they just manifest themselves out? Idiots...

On to Part 2: The Dark Side of Aziraphale.

#good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #good omens meta #gabriel #25 lazurii #miracle power #shax #the metatron #Azrael #tadfield #hastur #sandalphon #sodom and gomorrah

[ckret2]

saw your recent reblog about feedback and, though I’ve been occasionally gushing in tags, you deserve to hear what I tell my friends! In general, your writing style is perfect at capturing the timing and delivery of the show itself. I’ve never read a fic i’ve been able to visualize more clearly than this one. You write each character so well that between chapters it feels like i’m right back where i used to be, waiting for new episodes again. I do think you haven’t *quite* solved your side-character-ification (applejackification?) of Dipper problem yet, but other than that you’re doing an astounding job at balancing all the characters and their interactions with each other and with bill in a way that feels natural (plus with these more recent chapters i’m seeing lots of good dipper stuff so you’re definitely getting there with him too! besides, it is nice to see Mabel get the spotlight after all these years anyway. healing, even.) You know exactly how to control an audience’s emotions, you know when to drag something out and when to shut it down, you know when to cut off a conversation and when bring up the fact it was cut off later. Little foreshadowings like the loose tooth are well-planted and plot beats like lucid dreaming are dropped and picked back up delicately and with precision, like pressing piano keys. i don’t doubt for a second it’s all a part of some grand instrument, though i wouldn’t be surprised if you told me most of it was improvised - another way you’re just like the show was. you’ve done the episodic-and-serialized thing better than at least half of all silver-age cartoons that have attempted to do so! I adore the way you show kindness to all characters in your scenes, from gideon’s characterless mother to the little freak himself. It truly feels as though you pick no favorites, and that’s something you do better than the show did tbh. Not that TBOB needed to hook me in with a marketing campaign, but hypothetically, in a universe where I didn’t own a hand-sewn bill cipher throw-pillow and yet somehow still found this fic, I would definitely be excited for it after reading! you’re gifted, and i hope this does numbers on AO3. I truly cannot stand hazbin hotel, but I may go back and read your other works once this one’s over, just to hear your narrative voice. it’s a voice worth hearing, and may it be forever amplified.

oh WOW thank you so much??? 😭 this is SUCH a sweet comment and it means so much to me that you took the time to write all this!!

APPLEJACKIFICATION... that made me laugh. Dipper will get some serious development before the end of the eclipse plot and he's key in the next plot, so I think that'll help him make some progress. But yeah—he's not gonna be as important as Mabel, but I do want to make sure he has a plot that stands on its own, smaller though it may be.

It's 2/3 planned, 1/3 improvised. 😁 I've got a lead time of about 15 chapters between what I've posted and what I've written, so I can do stuff like write the poppet chapter, write the tooth fairy arc, edit the poppet chapter, realize that as long as I'm giving him a bloody lip maybe I can loosen his tooth, edit the tooth fairy arc, have him mention that that tooth was loose. And many chapters I haven't written or outlined yet I have loosely planned in my head so I know how to aim toward them.

Wanting to show kindness to all the characters and wanting to give as many of them an internal life as possible is so important to me, and I'm so glad that's showing through so far!

And honestly I think "I hate [xyz] but I'll read it if you're writing it" is the highest compliment. 😂 All my hazbin fics were written pre-season 1 when all we had was the pilot, a couple comics, creator comments, and some Helluva to go by; but idk maybe you'd consider that a plus lol. (If you're interested, on ao3 I've also written Transformers, Godzilla, some Pokémon, and a smattering of other things.)

Thanks again for sending such a nice message!

#cartoonchaos #ask #about my writing #bill goldilocks cipher

[trans-cuchulainn]

any tips for where someone might wanna research to kick off an interest in medieval literature? there's a LOT out there and i've not had much luck with only university reading lists as a start point.

hmm are you looking for books about medieval literature or are you looking for medieval texts to read

because if you are looking for medieval texts to read, i highly recommend táin bó cúailnge lmao (i just think it's neat! also i read it with basically zero contextual knowledge as an 18-year-old weirdo and had a good time). if you search for the tag "reading list" on my blog (i think that's the one i use!) you'll find previous posts with recs of medieval texts and where to find them, including a "so you've read the táin, now what" post that might be helpful if you take that first rec. it's all very irish bc that's what i do. other people have lists for other languages

if you are looking for info about medieval lit though i would say possibly a good place to start is podcast/videos if you are that kind of learner? i am not, so i can't offer many recommendations, and there's definitely a lot of bullshit about there, but. sometimes the bullshit is fertiliser. like you hear something you think is interesting so then you look it up and find out what it's actually about, yunno? there are also real academics and other clued-up people talking about medieval lit though. you could try the celtic students podcast for some tasters of what research people are doing in the field these days. for irish lit @finnlongman has some videos with retellings and further reading in the descriptions (sorry, i don't know a lot of non-irish/celtic-specific resources haha)

like i absolutely got into medieval literature in... not the WORST way bc it wasn't actively racist except that a lot of my sources were from the 19th century, but it definitely wasn't a GOOD way either. i read a LOT of bullshit, from heavily sanitised retellings and terrible 80s fantasy novels to romanticist popular history, so i had to unlearn a lot of stuff once i started doing it properly haha. so all my "introductory" sources were bad and i would not recommend them. but also it did work for me. which is the problem bc it means i don't have a lot of recs for stuff when you're first starting out and haven't already figured out what bullshit you're trying to get to the bottom of 😂

but yeah check out the "reading list" tag for other recs i've shared in the past and also other people's recs that i've reblogged! there might be some useful stuff in there idk!

sorry this isn't more helpful i'm very sleepy

#reading list #answered #anonymous

[klugenjoyer]

thjoughts on clive. love from clive

Long post inkoming

Omd guys it's my twin?!? Anyways oh boy I h-h-HATE that guy... He's so 🤢🤢🤢UGGLY and B-BAD😡😡😡

Okay but in all seriousness bro I adore him more then y'all could know. Well uh ppl who follow this hmmm mysterious anon who I definitely don't know now know what the degree of Clive brain rot I have (can't mention it here but if you know you know). But like

I knew Clive would get me as soon as I found out who he was. So for context, Luke is the reason I started playing the PL series. Anyone who knows me personally would know how me bait Luke is, I am VERY predictable. So when I learned there was this guy who had the grand plan of pretending to be Luke from the future to infiltrate Layton's life I was like oooo boy (also yes I unfortunately didn't get to go into UF blind) . What rlly marked my Clive journey's real start was definitely learning his name. Clive Dove. I got the spoiler of bruvs name from when my dear mutual reblogged q picture of him with the Clive Dove tag on it and I was like "bro... HIS NAME IS CLIVE?!?!?!?". Then the devolvation into madness really started. Uh insert discord screenshots

When it comes to head cannons though I will definitely say we all know Clive is trans fr. When it comes to my specific trans HCs for them I really enjoy transfem Clive (its a comfort hc 4 me) but when I'm doing stuff like officially like my official HCs that I stick closer too transmasc Clive. Why? Layton parallels. My whole life is fighting to make as many parallels between the two as I can mate it's a problem. It's just too interesting to me.

Other HC wise uhhh CLIVE HAS FRECKLES FIGHT ME I love planting subtle inconsistencies between him and Luke sm.

When it comes to drawing Clive I will definitely say I do enjoy drawing him more than Luke namely due to him having a tie😱😱.

My biggest struggle in drawing him prolly uhhh the freckles I curse myself with along with just his color palette ig. I can never decide how dark I want his hair to be. But tbf I do just have inconsistent coloring in my art sooo what can you do.

Other stuff to talk about with this awful man.... OH RIGHT! I'm STILL not over him being British Yuri Lowenthal like bro💀. It's so bad randall is also British Yuri Lowenthal like stawppp💀. Anyone who knows about me and my interests knows that I have a trying relationship with Yuri Lowenthal. Clive atp is prolly my fav Yuri Lowenthal character but I don't think he can take up the og for my fave yuri lowenthal voice performance (I LOVE YOSUKE!!!!)

If I'd have to pick like my favorite Clive thing... Probably still Sallufix's 'This Hurts' animation holy shit that thing is so good. The fact that tumblr user sallufix is my mutual still baffles me I am so in love with and enchanted by their work like hold shit they are like... The Clive drawer of all time to me. Also uh he made Envicto and I am obsessed with that man to no end no one even knows.

Anyways funny pictures to leave this post off with

This first one is my fave, it's my banner on my alt I still haven't used yet 🤎

Secondly we have this screen shot of someone saying "why would Goro Akechi lie" which I replaced with Clive dove (the I get in ubers and start lying one was also originally Akechi). May I note I'm surprised but also glad that I don't see many Clive Akechi parallel truthers

And finally the picture that I made to match with my friend the other night because we thought it was funny idk

#clive dove #okay long post over god i nwed a break #gonna have to get onto the doodle asks now

[surplus-of-sarcasm]

ive tried to write women so many times but have failed to the point theres barely any female characters in my stories. and im very aware this is a flaw in my writing because i dont hang around women often and the only long term contact with a female i have is with my family members i dont know how to write female characters on a personal level because i can never relate to them. this sucks ass but correct me if im wrong i think its better to not write female characters at all than write a shitty possibly offensive one even if i dont realize it

Hi.

Okay, here's my take on what you're saying. I know for a fact that the most difficult things to write are things/situations/environments we know so little about. And it's even harder to get it right when it's a more sensitive thing, if yk what I mean. A huge perspective shift like this is definitely a challenge because men and women are quite different.

Here's the thing. I'm not trying to pressure you into writing them, but I'm telling you that even if you have problems with them now, doesn't mean you have to give up on writing them completely. If not writing them at all is your final decision, then that's still okay, still your call in the end, but if you do want to write them, it's very possible.

I know I write both male and female characters, but the first time I ever officially wrote smth that wasn't for school, it was with a female protag because ultimately, I see the world from the eyes of a woman. When I decided to write a male character for a more serious project, I realised I needed to research it. And lemme tell you that again, not every piece of advice in a writing help article is always applicable. It's largely based on the author's own personal experiences. They're more like tips than rules you must adhere to.

Please note that I've spent considerable time around men I'm close to in my family, I had male classmates and currently have a friend who's a guy, so that definitely helps. And it's completely understandable that you haven't spent enough time around women to grasp more about them Ig. My male characters are not exactly copy-paste of these men/boys either, but some of their traits and mannerisms may be connected.

And you not relating to them is completely okay. I'm not very likely to relate to parts of my male character's life that come with him being a man, but what I can relate to is what makes him human. There is definitely an overlap in several traits between men and women. For example, the way I would feel angry abt smth would be different from how a guy Ik would feel angry about the same thing. The key is simply to avoid bad cliches.

Again, I'm not trying to get you to write them if you really don't want to. Forcing yourself to write smth you don't want to definitely won't help, and won't create good pieces of writing. But just in case you wish to in the future, you can practice and research and test it out, and fun fact, part of it involves a little bit of winging it. I've done this for like genres/ideas I haven't tried before, and surprisingly it actually works. But, tbf, it's a lot more difficult when the issue at hand is the opposite gender.

And answering your last question, while it doesn't mean you must give up completely and you will never be able to do it, I can agree that no representation is better than a poorly represented character. Though, there is a chance you might be too harsh on yourself, since Idk exactly what any female characters you've written are like.

And about my reblog on that post abt writing women, Ig it was more aimed at people who've never tried or misrepresent women by applying a crap ton of harmful stereotypes to them. You seem to have made a genuine effort, so that's a pretty good thing.

Sorry for the long post, and thank you for the ask.

#the little gremlin answers #ask #not writing #natalia.txt

[radiomogai]

tried to format my newest post as accessible as i could considering your feedback

i bolded the section headers for the name, pronunciation, etymology, and flag meaning, because otherwise i find it really hard to read :( looking through your reblogs, i saw many other posts with bold formatting in which there were no 'missing pt' tags found, so i hope that is okay?

the accessibility in IDs post you tagged me said to put ALT text no matter what, and also had a link to this post, which i used the idea of putting extra IDs at the bottom to help redundancy in ALT text's ID repeating for screenreaders.

is this better / anything else i can do?

it definitely looks better!!! we're off our meds rn so not 100% able to give advice right now, but i'd say the only thing we can think of would be to like, not put the image IDs under the cut/under a readmore as if you ever deactivate or even so much as change your url, it can make the IDs inaccessible {we always take IDs and PTs out from under readmores and cuts because of that}

we think we've seen some people say to put IDs right under the image but we're too foggy-headed right now to remember for sure and we're not able to get a source for that on account of, well, fogginess, and we think we've seen others say that it doesn't matter, so regarding that we suggest doing your own research if you want to. uhh i wrote this section because i completely missed the paragraph where you mentioned this, so yeah it seems fine, so long as it's not under a cut/readmore. we haven't heard to put it at the bottom if there's alt text to avoid redundancy but we'll keep that in mind since that's definitely good to know, a bit we didn't previously know

and yeah in regards to our tagging, we put 'needs ID' if it's only in the alt text {though we are forgetful about this, which is a fault of ours} or if it's not present at all, and we put 'needs PT' if there's text that's coloured, in a different font, in a larger or smaller size, if there's large sections that are bolded and/or italicized, if there's a typing quirk, or if it has like. every second word bolded for aesthetic reasons. we don't put 'needs PT' on things like your post where the sections are bolded or whatnot, nor do we put it on indented text as we've been told indented sections aren't a problem

i hope this coheres sdfsdfsdf if it doesn't, give us like a day or two so we can get on our meds again and then poke us again

#ask #do we tag it as ask or asks. i forgot #liommagic

[ryan-shepard-writes]

A couple dozen Get To Know Ya How Ya Doin questions by @athenixrose !!! Tagging anyone who feels like doing them! If you want to answer them you should go to THIS POST HERE and either copy/paste or reblog directly from Athenixrose!

Since I'm shy and haven't really been active in the writeblr community, I'm going to make it my goal to answer ALL the questions!

How are you?

I'm... Here. Which I consider to be a good thing.

How's the writing going?

Not terribly, I think, but I have a bad kind of writer's block right now. I know what I want to happen, but I can't make myself WRITE it... I also kinda feel like I really want to delete and change a bunch of stuff. Idunno.

Do you read books?

A bit too often, yeah. I cycle through the same ones all over, y'know? I love reading, but I think my brain is using it as an excuse not to write.

Have you been focusing on plot or fluff/downtime in your WIPs where nothing happens really?

Attempting to do plot, which is probably my problem. I excel at dialogue and character interactions, but writing plot is... Rough for me.

What's the hardest part of writing for you?

Actually physically doing it. Especially when it comes to doing events and advancing plot.

Do you like making titles?

YES. I love coming up with titles and taglines.

Do you like making blurbs?

I'm not sure! I don't think I've ever precisely written a blurb before?

Do you make your own mock covers?

Yes and no. I designed my own header photo on my blog, if that counts?

Do you write fanfiction?

Yes. A lot. Probably too much. I'm a selfshipper.

Who was your first ever favourite character from any piece of media?

My first ever fave? Probably Mewtwo.

Who is your current favourite character from a piece of media?

All Might!

Favourite book?

Gods that's a hard question. Probably one of the books in the Protector of The Small Quartet by Tamora Pierce.

Favourite song?

Genuinely no clue. I have a lot!

Favourite film?

TREASURE PLANET!

Favourite TV series?

At the moment? My Hero Academia!

What has been the biggest influence that has shaped how you write or inspired you?

The dichotomous complexity of the human heart.

Have you ever written anything out of spite because you hated how another piece of media was written or produced/ acted out?

Ooooooooooh yes. Most definitely. I don't think it exists anymore, but I wrote a whole ass new ending for The Giver when I was in middle school.

Last fictional death you cried at?

Aunt may in Spider-Man 2018 :')

How many drafts do you complete before you consider a WIP finished?

Uh.... Hehehe.... Finish?

How long have you been writing?

I wrote my first "original story" when I was 9, but I daydreamed original stories before that.

What genres do you write for?

Science-Fantasy, romance, queer, cosmic horror... Usually all at once.

Do you like doing research and if so, are you researching for a WIP right now?

LOVE research. Catch me taking refresher courses on hawking radiation for 2 lines of dialogue.

How many abandoned WIPs do you have?

Only a few... I tend to keep writing things even years later.

How many completed WIPs?

Hehehehe... 1. An old Kingdom Hearts fanfic that I wrote in middle school.

How many WIPs in progress?

All of them.

How organised with everything, are you? Do you keep track of OCs with lists ect?

I'm the least organized person you have ever met. I have no character sheets. Everything is trapped in my brain. Please send help.

Has your own writing ever made you cry?

Oh yeah absolutely. Fate's Crystal Majesty has SEVERAL points that make me tear up.

#fate's crystal majesty #ask game #important #writeblr

[cboffshore]

Hey Lila :( Forgive me for the non-Skybound or Ninjago ask this time, but how do you handle getting blocked by people because I'm getting very ticked off by it. Like excuse me I guess for sending a nice message about your work and mass liking your posts only to get blocked. This happens so much and it's so inconvenient. Hours of my day, wasted, posts I can no longer reblog, and you're going to follow me from my sideblog and happily go around reblogging stuff that is straight up ironic...I hate getting blocked because I feel like it's a tumblr deactivation risk and I have too much stuff on here, I don't get it. If people hate spam likes so much just say it somewhere geez. There's just as many people saying "oh I'll love you forever if you do" and I can't read every person's mind or go around asking every blog if they're okay with it. That is not what tumblr is and I'm feeling a bit "AITA?" about this.

Honestly... if people have blocked me (and I have no doubt that they do exist), they aren't the kind of people to have TOLD me that I'm blocked. I straight up do not know how many people have blocked me, or when, or why. I'm also the same way: if I block people, I do it relatively quietly. (Aside from obvious spam bots, I only have four blogs blocked - two of which are alts belonging to the same person, so really only three). I also know people who block extremely freely and for very minor reasons, so... maybe you just run into a lot of those types? I'm honestly not sure. Although I will say that I know anti-mass-likers usually say it, and I personally love a good notification blowup from one person.

Got off track there, but how I deal with them is that I don't. I don't know about them, and I don't really care about why they've blocked me, because they haven't told me in a way that would let me discuss it nicely and see what's up. That's on them; I can't help their cases. This is actual footage of me dealing with the people who have me blocked:

I do want to note that my first thought about this ask was that, if you're getting blocked so often that you're worried about getting deactivated, then (and please take this as gently as possible) it could be a you problem. Whether or not that's the mass interaction, I definitely can't say. Again, maybe you just keep bumping into the crowd that hands blocks out like they're throwing candy at a parade, in which case it's a them problem.

I'm assuming you're not DMing people weird threats or stealing art or harassing them in reblogs (and I know you're not one of the alts I've blocked because they never mass liked my stuff, so I further assume you're chill) so I really don't know what to tell you. Good luck, I guess? Inbox and DMs are always open if you've got any further questions, although this might legitimately be more suited to an AITA board, which I am not.

#lila speaks #i've gotta start a tag for anon messages #yeah without knowing who you are I can't do much more than just blathering like those old coots in the free advice booth meme

[angiekurosaki]

It has been a while since my last vent post, so here I go again 🙃.

Currently, I don't have much energy to post here or to reblog things 😕 my pile of 'likes' to which I keep saying myself I will eventually get back to read better just keeps increasing and increasing (so, if I liked your fanfiction and I didn't reblog it, it was because I was gonna get back to it but I haven't!)

Anyway. I've been trying to deal with my anxiety and depression as always. Last year, I saw a psychiatrist from another city via online, but in the end it didn't seem to help a lot or feel it was actually working. My last appointment with him was in January, since then, I just continued taking the last antidepressant he prescribed me, it didn't help me radically but made possible for me to get through the next day.

Of course, I was worried I was taking meds without supervision so, last month I went to a new doctor that just arrived to the city.

No need to say that I just kept rearranging and delaying the appointment until last minute because honestly, going through the process of seeing a new doctor and explaining things is fucking exhausting. Most of times, it feels pointless too, and, of course, one single appointment is super expensive.

Nevertheless, I went. At the beginning, I felt quite relaxed, the new doctor asked me lots of questions, which was good! I guess The previous doctors didn't pay a lot of attention to that. I tried to answer in the best way possible, but sometimes he just kept pushing me to give a straight answer but that's not always possible for me! I think doctors need to understand that 'I don't know' is a valid response because it's the true way you feel.

When he asked me what my goals in life are or any kind of thing I want to accomplish I said that idk. And that's true, because honestly, I have no ambitions in the sense of 'wow i wanna become a manager'... but he seemed super surprised (in a bad way) that at my age I haven't figured that... so yeah, I'm kind of ashamed for that. But how could you make a plan to achieve something in your life when you have barely survived the whole time? Anyway, you know, most of the stuff you talk with a psychiatrist is shameful.

Even if I liked the beginning of the appointment, in the end, I kind of felt like he didn't take into account the whole context I'm in (financial problems, existencial crisis, capitalism, the fact that we are witnessing how resources are running out and how this fucking island which I live in is watching its sea levels increasing, inflation, prices going up, temperatures increasing too, etc).

I was a little bit disappointed and surprised because he didn't order any blood test or something like that. I told him that my last tests were years ago and I was expecting to know if I have anemia but I guess that for him, my problems were definitely mental and not physical?

I also mentioned that I'd like to know if I'm in the autism spectre, or it's just that some symptoms overlap with anxiety/depression. This is a genuine thought I've had for some time and I think that I would benefit to know if I'm in the spectre or not. It could explain many things in my behaviour...

After softly laughing (not sure how I shoud have understood that), he replied 'yeah, sure it's better to be tested' but he didn't gave me straightforward answer to that ????.

In the end, he mostly focused on my ocd and I feel like he diminished my depression. Even when I explained that my former diagnosis was dysthymia and that at least that part felt accurate. I was like, dude idk it seems like my depression is a great thing to take into account.

He prescribed Luvox (fluvoxamine) which is a med used especially for ocd, along alprazolam for my anxiety, but given that I was still taking escitalopram, he advised me to take just half of that pill in order to allow my body to stop being used to the previous pill. Honestly, idk if he just gave me Luvox because he had some free samples laying over there in his office 😒 (btw they expired in upcoming 2 days but according to him it doesn't matter and they were safe to consume). Yeah, he gave me about to expired free samples (?). [Context: sometimes you are gifted free samples of a med]

Other details of that appointment: he told me there IS difference between buying a generic pill vs a brand med in case of antidepressants and that I should have been taking the brand ones all this time... But those are super expensive!!! For instance, Luvox costs around 1,000 mexican pesos!

Given the reason that he said I DO have a lot issues (thanks, I guess), but everything sums up as generalized anxiety disorder, he recommended cbt therapy which is obvious a good option. Unfortunately, and as you know, therapy is super expensive and not affordable for every person, and we (family&me) are basically living day by day; so, as you can understand I can't just pay~ for therapy. Also, thinking about doing any kind of exposure therapy for my phobias scares me.

The (first) previous month with that doctor went with the hope of getting better.

You know, I think it's fair to say that since the beginning of the pandemic everything went downhill for me and my family. And it hurts you know? It hurts so much. It's painful to see how we struggle.

So, I went last week for a second appointment with that psychiatrist, and idk, I felt 'bruh'. He told me that it's surprising that the new med hadn't already worked and if that's the case, I should start new meds the next time. And I'm not gonna do that. I'm tired of switching meds, can't afford it either... I once again asked about the possibility of getting tested for autism but he said that '#1 getting diagnosed for autism as an adult is super difficult and #2 that I shouldn't 'look' for more issues in myself'... Does that imply that I'm making up all of this? If so, that's not a sign of anxiety? Hypervigilence or something like that? According to him, the fact that I do have the desire to have friends and socialize even if I can't now due to my anxiety, it's a sign of not having autism. Wanting to have friends is exclusive of neurotypicals??

At this point idk if I'm super defensive with doctors in general, but hold on, how I'm not supposed to feel that way if they are used to ignore illnesses and have zero empathy? (talking in general)

He also told me that maybe my problems and isssues were emotional and psychological (what a surprise🙄) and that I shouldn't expect for the pills to fix me. But dudeeee the only thing I'm expecting is to be a somewhat functional human being. Maybe I'm craving that 'high happiness' that I got the very first time I tried meds years ago that allowed me to see hope, clarity and happiness around me, that allowed me to believe people loved me and give me the energy to dance a funky song. But of course, I can't say that because the doctor would think I'm just wanna be drugged... Not sure if I explained that well...

I don't know if I just need to have more appointments with that psychiatrist to trust him or maybe because he's very young he is somewhat inexperienced in some mental illnesss. Idk what i'm talking about anymore.

In conclusion, idk friend... Idk... I just know that life hasn't been treating us fair to me and my family. Being poor difficults life so much *sigh*. And you would say 'why don't just get a job?' I wish it were that easy.

For real, I feel unable to hold a job, idk why. Please, believe me when I say it's not because I'm lazy. I swear it. Physically, the mental pressure I feel about the thought of working for 8 hours approx, for six days a week in my context (my city/country basically normalizes bad work conditions and work abuse) seems overwhelming. For example, this year I only worked for 1 month approx (which is super embarrasing) as a teacher at an elementary school but the conditions were terrible!!! I didn't even have social security neither I was legally working. They didn't formally hire me in order to evade taxes 😒. One colleage there got covid while working and was sent home without sick leave, this means she didn't get paid those days. In summary, I didn't have worker rights established by law. Did I mention that I was paid LESS that others that began working the same day as me (I was earning minimun wage!!! But I was 'hired' as a bilingual teacher! Can you believe it? Not to mention that I was expected to be speaking in English 100% of time for the children because yeah it was a private school with a mentality of 'parents pay, parents are entitled to order). Lots of problems there, so I quit, but seeing how all my ex classmates are working and overall doing great just makes me feel miserable.

Btw, I just formally received my degree!! Which should be super importand, I should feel proud because I know how much I struggled to get it and how hard I studied, but at the same time I don't feel motivated to celebrate it. My sister and my mom said we should at least go to eat outside but I refused because I know how much we struggle to make ends meet.

Also, I feel super dumb because my abilities at speaking English had become rusty and it's super embarrasing for me, who once were a top student. I don't believe I can do well at English anymore. Actually, writing this post (in a language I'm not native in) is not easy right know.

*Sigh*

Reading fanfiction used to make me happy, maybe my unhealthy coping mechanism, but honestly, I don't feel that much excited anymore about anything. I mean, yeah sometimes I read ff but it doesn't hit the same anymore. Maybe I'm just numb. Or maybe it is just that I can't seem to focus properly to read or even watch a damn movie.

I keep saying 'when I get better I will watch this show and this movie, etc' but it just doesn't happen. And at this point I don't know at what extent it's mental/emotional illness/distress or what is just a product of measuring people's worth based on productivity due to capitalism™...

Anyway. I'm trying myself really hard to just grow up and get a job and accept that we live in a society™~.

Heavens, just let me have a job I don't mind doing that helps me get some money.

The fact that many of our problems would solve if we were rich enough to treat our health speaks volumes about the current society 😢

#everyone deserves to have access to excellent medical services!! #also i'm getting treatment for a rhinitis i'm suffering since the past year #the fact that i suffered MONTHS just because i don't have enough money... because my allergies are getting better with some treatment. #it turns out money CAN buy Health 😒 #personal #a journey

[joyfulhopelox]

"I've never cried over a broken dryer before"- "and you better not start now"

gif not mine cr. belongs to owner

Part 1 | Part 2

A/N: got nothing to say for myself really, just listened to a song, the idea hit me and i haven't written anything non science related in a decade so i gave it another go....that being said i realised i am awful at emotions lol. Side note i am from the UK so if some things seem off i apologise

Copyrights @joyfulhopelox

Pairing: Jungkook x reader (College!AU/ University!AU)

Warnings: ? mentions of skin? terrible fluff and flirting attempts

Word count: idk, it would not stop ~4k

A bop. A bop and some alcohol. That is all you needed after a long tiring week of studying for finals and cramming for your practical assessments. This week had been the last week of exam season and you were more than grateful that it had ended. You did not particularly care about how you’ve done on the assessments. That was not your present self’s problem, that was something for future you to worry about. Presently you just wanted to take a nap and head out with your girlfriends on a night out to just dance and drink all the stress away.

You weren’t a drinker, not by a long shot. You barely touched alcohol once or twice a month, and that happened mainly when you would have a get together with your friends. It was hard not to get sucked in when everything around you was so loud and chaotic it made you want to be part of the chaos not just an observer. You’ve done the whole ‘being sober whilst your friends got drunk’ and you swore to yourself it would never happen again. Funny how nights out looked disgusting and cliche when you were actually awake to witness them. From the group who ended up dancing on the tables, to the group who dispersed to hunt for one night stands, to the group who decided to pass out at the bar or in the toilets and then you, the sober one left to pick everyone up and send them back home safely and make sure than no one got into a fight. You sometimes wondered how the hell you got home alright when you ended up actually drinking on these nights out as none of your friends seemed willing to stay sober and watch over you. For once, you were not going to question your luck and just roll with it.

Before you settled for a nap though you knew you had to go downstairs to do your washing. Being a student during exam season meant you were surviving on microwavable food, lots of caffeine, sugar in all sorts of forms and that your tiny dorm room looked as if a hurricane has passed through it with dirty clothes all over the place and bedding that has been left unwashed for at least 2 weeks. You felt disgusting and unfortunately the neat freak in you kicked in, unsuppressed anymore by your pre-exam anxiety. With a sigh you started undoing your bedsheets and stashing them in a basket along with other bits and pieces of clothes. Making sure that you got your laundry detergent and your key card you started lugging the basket out of your room praying to the Gods that the lift was not broken.

Living on the 8th floor had its perks, but not when you were in a sleep deprived hurry. All you could do is check the numbers going down to the lower ground hoping that the lift would not stop at any other floor. But of course your luck would run out, on 3rd floor the lift slowed down and stopped, making you release an angry huff. ‘Of course it would’ you muttered to yourself as the doors opened only to reveal a tall men impatiently tapping his foot. Huffing he too got into the elevator making you aware of his stature. He may have not been as tall as some of the men you’ve seen but he was clearly working out as his muscles made him look way broader than his stature permitted. A gym rat, you rolled your eyes and tried to move the laundry bag and yourself into the corner, the space feeling too cramped for your liking. The dragging sound of the bag made the person turn around and give you a curious glance which you dismissed quickly. You weren’t interested in conversing with strangers on a normal basis let alone a gym rat. Nothing against them, you just had nothing in common and your tired brain did not want to make up a polite small talk.

‘Lower ground?’ the person asked you, surprisingly the voice was soft and clear, something you had not expected of him. It made you glance at him, ‘yeah’ you nodded after composing yourself. The person nodded making their long bangs fall into their eyes which prompted the next two surprises for you; in an attempt to settle his bangs out of his face he not only revealed a muscular defined arm which you’d have to admit was kind of attractive- you’d have to be blind not to notice, but also an array of random tattoos all over his arm and hand. The other surprise hit you a moment later after you realised you’ve been staring at him for a second too long and you sniffed and turned your face away. The smell of alcohol was coming off of him strongly as if he’s been drinking for a few days straight and his pores exuded it. It took you all you had to not cough. Frat boy, gym rat- this guy was ticking all the ‘no no’ boxes and so regardless of how good looking he was he did not deserve second thoughts.

Your prayers being answered, you reached lower ground quicker than expected and you prepared yourself to rush out of the lift. However, the clothes basket was heavier than you’d thought so instead of a swift exit like you’ve planned, you closely resembled Santa dragging his toy sack.

‘Would you like some help with that?’ the guy who’d turned around and observed you amusedly as you struggled extended a hand in your direction. You huffed and dropped the basket on the floor and couldn’t help but notice the basket he held in one hand and how the effort made his muscles and veiny arms that much more noticeable. Hot.

‘’S all good thanks’ however, you were not going to accept his help. You just wanted to get these damn clothes in the wash so you could go and nap away the remainder of your post exam stress. The guy held your gaze for a second too long before he raised an eyebrow and looked unconvincingly at your basket and your face, which was red by now you’d presume. Then shrugging he carried on walking towards the laundry room getting further and further out of your view, and you could have sworn there was an extra spring in his step. That fucker.

After monumental efforts you managed to drag everything to the laundry room only to notice that it had been left propped open by an empty bottle. Entering with difficulty you made your way to the closest washer available and dropped the laundry basket on the floor with a relieved sigh. Bending down to start putting your clothes in, you could definitely hear a snicker behind you. Whas that….? Of course it was, you were the only two souls in there. Everyone else was probably either enjoying some much needed sleep or partying the evening away already. Deciding to ignore him you continued to pile your clothes into the machine and soon enough you got distracted so much so that you did not realise you had started humming.

‘Nice voice you got there, but do both of us a favour, leave it for when you’re on your own will you?’ another snicker from behind. Flustered you whipped around, ‘what?’ his gaze on you held a smouldering effect making you feel as if you were pinned down by just its sheer force. His dark eyes, whilst amused, were also narrowed on your form as if commanding you to listen to what he was saying. Your breath hitched and as much as you’d tried to shrug off the feeling and the temptation to not listen to him and turn around, you found yourself unable to. Trying to hold his gaze your eyes wavered for a split second when the tip of his tongue peeked out from between his lips to wet the lower one. A gesture so fleeting, done as if by habit, but paired with the intense gaze it had your throat constrict and your instincts had been to follow his moves, your own tongue coming out to lick your own suddenly dry lips.

Had you intended to do this to toy with him? No. Has it worked? Judging by the way his eyes travelled slowly and purposefully down your face towards your lips, you could swear it has. Refusing to give him more vulnerability than that you turned around with tremendous efforts and continued pilling clothes into the washer completely missing the way he stared at your ass that was now on display. Biting his lip he gave you another once over before returning to his own washing.

You couldn’t help to glance his way every time you would turn around to pick up more clothes out of the basket. He was sporting a concentrated face, his lower lip caught between his teeth, his broad shoulders and the way his arm muscles were defined by the effort were making you breathless. However, what made your head spin and your heart to skip too many beats for it to be healthy was what happened next. You blame your bad luck - or good luck- for glancing at him only to catch him grab his shirt and give it a tentative sniff and a shrug. So he knew he reeked, but your snicker turned into a hiccup as soon as he had grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head.

Normally a situation like this wouldn’t phase you, you have seen plenty of men naked. But this one, this one was a special one. His bunny like features, defined nose bridge, jawline and floppy but rugged hair were a complete contrast to his defined jawline and...oh lord….were those six or eight abs??

‘What in the name of abs are you doing?’ sputtering you turned to fully face him. What a mistake. He did the same so now you had a full frontal view, first row, VIP seat to his naked upper body. That was definitely a six abs package. Shrugging, which by lord made everything tense up in ways you did not need to see, he threw the longsleeve into the wash and slammed it shut. All that did not take more than 5 seconds but to you, it seemed like a slowed down eternity in which your eyes got a good view of a muscular anatomy.

‘What, it’s dirty and i’m doing my washing?’ he stated as if it was plain as day and absolutely normal to get naked in the laundry room.’In the name of abs? Should i be calling you a peeping Tom?’ A slow forming smirk that made him look dangerously mischievous made its way onto his face.

‘Pffft, what? I said in the name of gods, what are you on about? Why would I be looking at you, whilst you think it’s perfectly fine to strip in a public place??’ he laughed at your clear distress but chose to not to mention your choice of words. ‘Hardly public is it? There’s just you and i in here’ he rebutted whilst turning around to scan his laundry card onto the machine and pressed start. You scoffed indignantly, ‘what am i chopped liver? I’m not goddamn blind’ you mumbled, not for his ears but instead chose to say out loud, ‘what about the poor souls who will see you in the lift back up? Is that not a public place?’

Unbeknownst to you he had clearly heard your previous statement, his smirk once again widening, so you had actually been looking. Good. Clearing his throat he put on as much of a serious face as he could ‘I think it’s unfair to call them poor, this is not cheap accommodation, if they live here it is clear that they are anything but poor’ he knew what you’d meant by poor, but just the annoyed tick in your eyebrow that appeared at his statement was worth it. Choosing to stay silent instead of taking the bait, you returned to your laundry. Only to curse out loud- you had finished it and upon scouring your belongings haphazardly you realised your card was missing. Vaguely remembering you had only taken your room card you groaned, this was not how you’d intended to spend your afternoon before the party.

Without a second’s notice, a tattooed hand with a card appeared before your eyes and the washing machine burst to life. Indignantly you whipped your head around to look at the owner of said hand, ‘what are you doing?’ only to come face to face with the end of a defined collarbone and jawline. And by all that is saintfully just, the line of his throat was just as attractive as the whole of the man. Being this close to him rendered you absolutely useless, jumbled thoughts ranging from ‘i need to pay him back’ to ‘what is he even doing’ to settle in the end to a single thought which you also voiced out loud without even thinking. ‘Your moles are pretty’. You had managed to get past the expanse of his neck to the outline of his lower lip when you noticed his mole, and to your defense- it was cute, but with the whole package, cute is the last word you had in mind. More like- it added a completeness that you would not think he needed but there it was.

He swallowed thickly, enjoying for a second too long the glazed look you had on your face as you said that. ‘And you have nice eyes’ he retaliates even though this is the first time he’s had a closeup look at them. Bright and sparkly, unknown to the both of you, a mirror of each other’s. Sparkly with a promise of something. Something which would have to wait for….if you had your way, forever, if he had his way- a second. You finally willed your legs to step aside and away from the unclothed man.

‘Uh-thanks’ you never stutter, but something about the heavy and thick air around makes it hard to take controlled breaths. ‘For the washing i mean’ you correct yourself. You will never admit to him out loud that him complimenting your eyes made your heart stumble and your brain freeze. You turned around to escape the situation, completely missing the amused expression on the man’s face. ‘You are welcome’ he extends his hand out walking to your side not missing the way you try to put some distance in between the two of you.

‘I’m Jungkook’ he smiles, a complete 180 from his appearance, his smile was warm and genuine, the type of smile that is reflected not only in his eyes but his whole face. His nose scrunches up too cutely, you think to yourself. He somehow resembles a bunny? Mustering up all the courage and bravery your heart still had, you grasp his hand. Hm, soft, odd for a gym head. You knew what he was asking for, but you would not give it to him. As cute as he is, you still tried to tell yourself you were unimpressed. ‘And i’m a poor soul who lives in this block of flats’ you mutter ‘i will pay you back for the washing’.

As soon as you reached your tiny cramped room and settled down for that nap you’ve been craving, you could not help but replay the last words he said to you, sounding way too smug for his own good. ‘Is that you telling me to put a shirt on for your sake?’

#bts #jungkook #bts jungkook #btsxreader #bts scenario #bts x reader scenario #jungkook x reader #was not intending to post this but my cat made me #bts fluff #bts x you #jungkook x you #somewhat crack #lox writings #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook fluff #jungkook fluff #jungkook fic #fic #fluff

[frecklystars]

I really want to commission you, do you have any idea when they will be open again?

Thank you for your support!! Honestly at this point I don't know. I never expected to have so many problems with my current retail job, and I'm still trying to catch up on commissions from September. September. I only have about three left, but it's just been... a LOT lately trying to figure things out. I've spent the last three months in absolute agony trying to fix something. This company boasts about being "super flexible" with their hours especially for part time students but uhh, they haven't proven it to me in any case.

I thought reducing my retail hours would give me more time, but my hours have only increased past my availability and my pay was cut and I'm somehow working 100x harder and making way, way less money. I didn't even know my pay was cut until months after it'd happened, and when I asked, one of the managers said "oh. you've always been making too much, actually :)" which is kinda bullshit because there's several other ppl in this department with the same position as me who are making $14-ish an hour and I do not even come close to that. The whole ordeal was also kind of a wake up call for me and it's finally, finally pushing me to find something else. no matter how long it takes, I cannot stay there anymore.

I want to open commissions! So badly! And I will. I just don't know when. I was hoping for March, but. Well. I would say "maybe April" but I can't make any promises, honestly whatever happens happens, when they open I will definitely pin the post onto my blog and reblog it a few times.

I just have to get my schedule settled, then finish the current comms, then see what's happening with another part time job I'm applying for and if that'll affect anything... euhgghh it's a mess.

But I promise I will definitely open them one day, I genuinely enjoy drawing for people, especially when someone asks for self insert. It makes me feel good knowing that ppl are allowing themselves that kind of joy, even moreso that it's through my own art ^^

#anonymous #asks

[little-precious-baby]

This 2020...

First of all, I know most of the people did this many days ago but I thought today was like the best for me to say goodbye to this year.

Not to mention that this year has been very difficult, not only for me but for everyone. A pandemic that brought us many changes of which many are not yet comfortable and is understandable. In my case, in this year I have been able to understand many things, I have suffered and had to face other problems, and of course, I enjoyed important moments with my friends and family. My first decision this year I remember was cutting off my bangs without my parents' permission. I was scolded for weeks, even months and yes, I accept that seeing that picture from the first day of the school year is going to haunt me for a long time but I don't regret what I did. Is not a secret that for many of my irl friends, I'm like a little child that needs attention because if you give me your back, probably I'll be cutting my hair or even doing something worse.

As for emotional and friendship issues... I have to admit that I broke friendships in a non-gentle way, there were also discussions over totally stupid topics and not to mention love issues that simply ended up being a failure—a waste of time, to be honest.

While it hasn't been such an easy year, there's something I still don't even regret doing: coming here to Tumblr. My previous account has many years to created here —probably in 2017— however, at that time I didn't try to search much as I got to do this year and I'm glad I did because I met great people. Sadly I doubt at some point to meet you in person, but I hope you keep in mind that you make my days happier with your comments or just being you. I hope our friendship continues and that you all don't get sick of me so easily. Also, I wish you all the best as I know each of you is talented and has the ability to succeed in your lives. <3

Uh, the paragraphs 👉🏼👈🏼

Also I want you to know that this isn't in an specific order and that I hope you don't feel bad with my words.

💙 - @latte-fairytaekwoon

How can I start this without you rejecting my love? <3 You were one of the first people I decided to approach. I remember reading one or two of your works and just thinking "Wow, she writes very well... I'm going to follow her; it's going to be fun and interesting." I was planning not to talk to you at the beginning, to be honest. My end in mind was just to read what you updated and since you were the third account with content I had decided to follow, I thought it was a good plan. But one thing led to another and I decided to talk to you —which you probably regret since I bother you a lot lmao— and yeah, that's how we met and still talk to each other. I also need to mention that whenever I tried to talk to you about my problems or things that overwhelmed me, you always knew what to say to me even if that included to scold me. You always made me come to my senses. Many times I mentioned to you that you were like a mother to me as you "gave me those vibes" but how can you not? While you don't usually show so much affection through direct words of "I love you" "I care you," I feel them when you advise me. It's going to sound too idk, but I really don't regret to met you, Kitty. This looks like a bible and words repeating over and over again but how to show you that I appreciate, admire and love you if I always try to let you know? At this point if you still think I don't care of you, you are dumb 💖 By the way, it's worth mentioning that you and I have a long path together and you'll continue to be attacked with my love, support and jokes. I love you, mom 😗💙

💖 @winterviolet1

To be honest, I feel bad for not remembering how we started talking... I don't remember if I followed you first or if it was the other way around but hey, let's look on the bright side, it was fun to have met you and come together to always annoy Sofie with Hongjoong gifs <3 I hope we can still be little demons together and please, PLEASE, stop killing me 💀 I love when you send me gifs of Jongho because wow, that boy is definitely a daddy and more when he dances —I refuse to deviate from the subject but he jdudbd— but yeah, he kills me even when he just smiles. My point is that when I see those gifs, I went into a state where my mind goes to places that is better not to mention and I blush because yeah, we talk about my bias isbdkddj and I also frustrate because I find myself unable to return the same treatment to you dkdnskd. Ps: Let me know when we'll be demons again <3

💖 @teeztheflag

Your reactions are idejdindd art I feel shy as I know I never got to create a bond big enough to make you call my friend or that you consider me your friend but hey, it was great to talk to you. <3

Atte: the Slyffindor Girl 💀

💖 @twancingyunhoe

ALLYSSA 🥺 Okay, okay, just mention your name and I'll get in cute mode. I remember following you, yet I hadn't dared talk to you much. The safest thing I'd ever said to you was "Hello! I walk by giving love and support!" for days later asking if you were going to adopt me to have adopted Gabby as my sister 🥺 You're a beautiful person who has such a big, beautiful heart that makes me soft. I know I haven't exchanged many words with you this past month, but I hope that's not going to affect the fact that you're important to me. Thank you for accepting me, giving me love and always being so pretty. <3 kith kith

💖 @tinkerbellwoo

You are such a gift to me diejsndis. Since the first time I knew you, you were very kind and lovely to me. You won a part of my heart with your kindness and yeah, I do remember going to your asks and just "Hey, here is a bunch of love from me to you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Also I hope we can be friends" kejebskssi. That was like my way to ask to be one of your closer moots because you were just so cool and I wanted to be friends with the wonderful person I saw had interactions with some of my moots. I'm sorry because I have time without actually having a large conversation with you and is completely my fault... I hope this new year will change that and I can talk more to you 🥺💖

💖 @yungidreamer

My older sister :( I'm so happy I had the opportunity to talk to you 👉🏼👈🏼 I still don't forget that you once used the dissapointed card with meeee, your little cute princess angel baby sister. I have cero regrets welcome you into my big, not normal, Tumblr family because yeah, probable we aren't the same but at the same time we are the same, if you know what I mean 👀 I hope we can have more conversations between each other because I know is very interesting to talk to you but at the same time I'm so shy :(

💖 @yunderland / @shangri-woo

How can I began this? Ksbsdusbs First, I need ti be honest. I do have my thirst times and well, I read many of your works in ghost mode 👉🏼👈🏼 I was kinda shy to just idk, interact kdidbdkd. Also I began to see you interact with Amelie and was funny and I began to think "What happens if I do try to be friends with her?" but also "What if she doesn't like how I am? I ccan be a bother some times...". And yeah, I was thinking that for maybe two days until I decided to make a move. I followed you and I said "Hi 👉🏼👈🏼 I saw you talking with Amelie... You seem like a kind and lovely person, mind if I try being friends with you?" skdbsudbdks. I. Will. Not. Regret. Talking. To. You. You are such a good person :( Every time we talk, you are just so attentive that makes me soft. Please, keeo being my friend :( even if you don't consider me as your friend :(

💖 @ursaurora

Well, I don't have that much to say because I just said hi while being in hiatus but hey, I really really like the idea of being friends with you. This doesn't stopped me to wish you a good New Year and hey, why not hoping to have a good relationship between each other? <3

💖 @illicit-roses

Rosa xkenskd you sidjdndid are isbddkdj a ksudkdid baby. Such a beautiful, sweet, kind and big hearted baby. I was also the first one to talk to you and I was the one that began being surprised by your words isbwkdz. Not to mention that I also got shy and touched by your words. In this year, I would love to be more close to youuuuuu <3

💖 @inkigayeo / @woo-san

Vivi, I don't know if you will read this so probably if you do, is because I told you in private kxjsksdnsk. I don't feel like remembering you how I began talking to you because you asked and I already told you that but something I for sure need you to know is that... I'm still very touched by your encouraging words to me. I think our first first conversation was about me being depressed and how I was feeling toward myself, then about my admission test that hey, you did amazing with your words. I remember I cried because yeah, I was anxious but you told me a great advice. And when I didn't do well on that an also began saying sorry to you for not doing well, you gave me anither good words that hey... How not be in love with Vivi? Vivi is just a Queen with a big heart and kindness to give to everyone :(( <3

💖 @atinyedits / @atinywrites

My lovely and beautiful Anrose kdbdkzkzd I remember I began to talk to you after I saw a post of Cottons talking about how you were such a fk rat brat and my first thought was "Hey, I want to be her friend" lol. And guess what? That's what I did isbszlxudbzk I went to your asks and I asked you if you wanted to be my friend and you accepted. We began talking and I began having this love to you idbesldjdbs. But something I do need to make clear is that I didn't thought you will be part of my Tumblr family as my mom kdjdsldudhs I still remember reblogging with an "you are married with Allyssa?! She is my mooooom" and yeah, you were welcome to a natural habit of a family who is thirsty 24/7 for Ateez or each other and yeah, such a triangle live attraction and the foughts you still have with my other mom kdisjsnd. But I hope you feel the love I have for you. Because I do love you and I trust you enough. Don't you remember how I send you photos of my body? I do feel insecure about it and still regret to be being called a Queen but yeah, I trust and love you enough, my Anrose <3

💖 @atiny-ahgase

Gabby, my sweetest sister 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 How can I began this? Well... Not to mention that I usually read your interactions with Zad and as I wasn't someone you knew, I was scared to talk to both of you. You because I was mostly shy and for Zad because I thought he was intimidating, funny, right? Well, I'm not sure if I do told you about giving you tons of love and support directly but I do remember adopting Zad as my brother and he telling me he had a sister and my first thought was "Hey, why I can't have a big sister too?" and then I began talking to you and with what I was welcomed? By tons of love and cute gifs of kisses and hugs. You make me feel lovved, Gabby. You are such an angel 🥺 Please, don't stop loving your baby sister Mei <3

💖 @shinyddeonghwa

Omg, omg, omg. I feel bad because I don't even know how I began talking to you T^T I feel bad to admit that I get confused between you and Treasure and ksbsizbdsis I think it was with you that I talked in Portuguese jzusnsks and if not, I'm sorry for the miss understanding ksisjs T^T but something I for sure remember if you trying to dom me and then getting flustered when that didn't worked and it was my time then isnwishsslsns I also need to mention that is always cute everything you do dkdbskzusks even how you talk to me <3 I hope our friendship can last for more time <3

💖 @sansbun & @choisans-dimples

Bun and Cass, the brat in denial 👀😗, the sweetest babies I have met. Two lovely babies that love cats and San. I think my first interaction with the both of you was because of the Tumblr family. Bun, I'm sorry for not talking too much to you. You are such a kind person and I would like to be closer to you in this new year. And for Cass, we talked more in discord but still wasn't that much :( But it was actually funny to see you fighting with Mari, it was cute nsisnslds. I hope both of you know that your auntie loves you so much <3

💖 @galaxteez

ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH <3

Our first conversation was something thirsty, I'm 100% sure about that. And how to forget how I always forgot to turn on to be anon siwnsibddk8dn. But I'm still sure you loved to see my asks while me being anon than when it was actually me because mine was just cute, giving tons of love to you when my anon... Well... My anon 😗 I know I have time without having thisty talks with you so maybe this new year will mark the difference 👀 <3

💖 @ateezstanlove

Ndyensiddhsihssjwj here is when my mind is having problems to remember how I actually met everyone and that's making me feel bad skdbwksjzns but something I can be 100% is that I tried really hard every day to make you feel all the love I can give. I still remember when I saw you were on hiatus and thinking about leaving Tumblr. Being honest, I was really sad but hey, you are here now to receive all my love and have those lustful thoughts about Wooyoung's thighs —I saw that, sis 😗. But yeah sksnqisndks. I love you and I hope we can have more time as sisters this year <3

💖 @ateez-little-star

Jas, the beautiful star in the sky 🥺 You were actually my first sister in my Tumblr Family. I still think is funny how I try really hard to baby you but at the end is in the other way, you end baby me skjssksisns 🥺🥺🥺🥺 How can I be more grateful to met you, uh? You always listened to my problems and I do considered a lot your opinions, is very kind to talk to you. I feel always loved when I talk to you. Also not to mention how I felt when during the night you left and when I searched you, you were gone. I was really sad and my first thought was "If she doesn't come back... She will remember me?" ksudisbskd but in days you came back and I was so happy :(( Please don't leave me again, Jas :( You are very soecial to me, my baby sis 🥺💖

💖 @hiatus-kittenmbb

Msisnsiddn MU AUNTIE HERE, EVERYONE. MSIWBSKDJDSBSB I want your love, cuddles, kisses and all the things you can give me and I'll make sure to make you feel the same, with tons of love <3 Not to mention how funny is to talk to you and all the times you told me to bother Kitty mom hahaha such a good and lovely relationship both of you have hahaha. Ps:Don't forget I love you so much, Auntie <3

💖 @hwastreasure

Mia :( I'm sorry because I don't have many things to say but at the same time I don't want you to feel sad about it. I remember I told you I will talk constantly to you and I didn't do it. Please forgive me :(( Can we try again and be closer now? :(

💖 @hongjoong-a-holic

SOFIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-.... Oh, no. My mistake. Let me try again. MY LIL LIOOOOOOOOOOOON GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR~. I don't have a lot of words how to describe the love and affection I have for you. You were always paying attention to me and giving me love —not to mention that you told me I needed to hug you just because you wanted nsisns and I say no lol— and that's cute sksnsksis. I also want to say that all those times that I do bother you with Blue about gifs of Ateez dancing sexily and those smuts and all that explication of sexuality... I have cero regrets! :D lmao. If you really thought I will say sorry about that, is a nono. I know you love it at the end lmao. But there is something I for sure need to be sorry... I know you were sad about me leaving ti be on hiatus and I still did but baby, I really needed to do it. I promise I'll be back soon. Very soon, just wait for me <3

💖 @hwaberrykiwi

Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam :(( I began to talking to you thanks to Jas that she asked me if I knew you and I said no and she just make me talk to you and guess what? I'm happy she did that because hey, I met an amazing person. And even if we didn't talked that much, something my heart will not forget are the words you told me when I said Uw as going on hiatus. I was really touched, I cried. I really did at the end but yeah. I would love to be more close to such a person with a big big heart <3

💖 @joongieblue

I don't even know how to began this because I think everything I need you to know, you already know it but at the same time I feel like I still need to say a lot :(( I don't want you to feel less as a person anymore... I know you said that way of thinking is because of your depression but baby, try to look at the amazing people who are with you, that cares about how you are and of course you are very important to them. You are very sweet and amazing as a person, let me tell you that I see in you a soft light. A very pure light that needs to shine bright in the sky but the darkness is making her feel like a insuficient and lonely light. Don't worry, things will get better soon. Trust me <3

💖 @seonghwa-is-babie

How can I began this without this looking awkward? 👉🏼👈🏼 I met you thanks to Zad and what I learned is that you were such a good, kind and shy boy but of course I still think you can be very intimidating if you want to. I'm sorry for not having a lot of conversation with you since I met you but I promise I'll try harder to be close to you. Of course, if you don't mind <3

🧡 - @seacottons

How can I began this?... The first time I talked to you, it was me trying to tease you really bad. I can also remember I told you to cald me kitten or something like that at that moment and the next thing we talked was about how I wanted to be adooted by you so bad isnsldks I don't regret doing all what you wanted me to do so you can adopt me because hey, you are amazing, wonderful as my other mom. Talking to you is like a way to calm my insecurities and stress I had during the day. You always giving love to me and even those cute hugs in the head you give or when you are too much sleepy to even type correctly iwjeneid you are such a baby :(( I'm still sorry for the time I called you a rouch, you aren't a bug... You are a beautiful, sweet, kind Queen I have the posibility to call mom. Not to mention that you are also my sweet, cool pumpkin —favorite— mom. Also, I can remember all those times you told me to bother or kick Kitty just because "she need it" dkbsskdjd the time you also wanted to disown me dibedidnzsj Leaving that topic to say cute things I love about you again is that... I'll be forever happy and gratefull with you. You gave me great advice when I needed them the most. You gave me a shoulder and a soft comfortable place to talk about my deep problems, my insomnia, depression, all of that. Thank you, mom. Thank you so much for letting me be part of your life and of course, youre mine. I will not share with Kitty <3

💖 @jongpleasure

My lovely, sweet and innocent twin ^^ lmao, we know we both are like really really twins. Our birthdays are very close, we both are Cancers, have the same bias that we share with each other because damn, he is really nice. But hey, is still very good to know you because you are talented, really really talented. The videos you create are wonderful and I am not saying that just because I know you, they are very good. The same with your fics, are amazing. You are an amazing writer, why you can't see that, uh? Want me to kiss your cheeks and hug you hard till you learn it? If you do want it, you are free to come to me and I'l give ut to you because msidbwks you are my lovely twin that I love so much. Have a great new year, I hope all your problems get resolved and you can noticed how you are talented enough to succeed and that you have friends in here that love you so bad. Kyra, my sweet twin I love so much <3

🕷️🕸️ - @yunhoshoe / @jonghoshoe

Aw, my baby prince Zad :(( The one I can trully see as a baby even when you are such a year younger than me. I want to protect you every time, even when I know I can't do that much virtually... So everytime I need to make me feel that I gave you all the love I can give and hope you can feel all the love I try to give you every time we talk. I'm still sorry for that time I make you feel uncomfortable with my missunderstanding about spiders and all of that... I'm also sorry for that time I send you gifs about dogs when you were scared of them... I'm really sorry, baby. Your big sister is dumb many times but hey, she is also still learning and want to give all she can to you. I hope this new year, we cab still be closer. Who is my little sweet, cute baby prince? Of course, you <3

💖 @xiuminswifeforever

I know we aren't that close, sadly. I follow you on twitter and here and everytime we talk is probably you being horny and wanting to have sex or somethung with your hmm... Is funny to talk to you and I know you told me that you are mostly in twitter and that was why we don't talk that much but hey, I would love to talk more with you. Want to try in this new year? <3

💜 - @yunhoiseyecandy

My sweet angel Violet :(( HoW I can began this? Kdsndid I don't remember very well how I began talking to you... Like I try really hard to remember how I began talking to you and my mind is in blank siwnsksus I'm sorry because of that but at the same time, is the good memories that are important to remember, right? How can I not be feeling grateful with the angel that with some kind words that came from her heart, made me a crying mess because of how touched I was? :(( There are many things I know I will not forget. That time I was feeling low beecause someone was just being very mean with me and you were protective, your kind words when I was just losing my mind and feeling all that pain inside and you helped me release that... For this year, I hope we can still be friends because you are amazing and I don't want to lose you :( <3

💖 @treasure-hwa

I feel really bad if I began saying this but I do want to say the truth and the truth is that I usually get confused between shinnyddeonhwa because you both had/have Hwa in their profiles and I know you both don't even write in the same way but idk, is easily for me to get confused, I'm sorry T^T Changing the subject, I really loved that time when we began talking in Portuguese and Spanish at the same time. Was really funny to even think how everyone would saw that ksjsnskdd Also I am very touched and happy when you roleplay with me... You are very sweet even while roleplaying and that makes me soft in such a way dksbskdid I would like to roleplay again with you, only if you want to any other time 👉🏼👈🏼 Also in this new year, I hope we can still be talking to each other for a long time, sister <3

💖 @cometoceantrenches

Not me being speechless every time I began writing a paragraph kwusnekdid also not me becoming your friend the second you asked me how was the relationship between Cottons and I 👉🏼👈🏼 But look at the good side, we are sisters now and guess what? I noticed how you have a big BIG heart and all the love you can give is just so cute when I receive it or just read it. I hope in this new year we can make new and memorable conversations together. Don't forget you have an special space in my heart <3

🤍 - @vocalyunho

Amelie, my sweet and lovely wife :(( How can I began this? I remember the first time I talked to you. I said your writing skills were amazing and that you were cute and I wanted to try being your friend. Not to mention that two days later I ask you to be my wife dkebdidbdkd But I don't regret that at all. I'm really happy I met you because every time I talk to you, I feel in a safe space... A place I can say how I really feel without being judged... And what do I receive every time I talk my problems out? Sweet words and advice :(( Amelie you are such a good girl, a good advicer and an amazing friend. Thank you so much for letting me be your friend. I know I won something big with your beautiful friendship. Also I know that you have problems and stress but hey, as you said, things hopefully will get better, we just need to be patient and wait. And don't forget that you can come to me everytime you want. I'll be here for you, Amelie. Anlso in this new year, I hope our friendship can grow bigger and yeah, why not trying to create new memories together? Remember you are Yunho of our 2Ho. Love you <3

💖 @sollyho & @ateezinmymind

Well... Maybe this will look like a very short paragraph but... I felt bad at the same time because I don't have that much to say... For sure, I'm happy I met both of you because during our conversations, I can deduce that I can trust you because you are lovely and all of that. What I regret so bad is that during this 2020, I didn't talked that much and that's why I feel bad for not writing something big but please, don't feel that I don't care about you because I do :(( i hope in this new year, we can talk much and maybe be close friends 👉🏼👈🏼

👑 - @barnesbabee

Queen Trixie 👉🏼👈🏼 Well, what I can say is that first, I love your humor keiwbsnd also that everytime you tive your opinion about something, you have valid points. This will sound stupid but I do really like to read when you post something. As I said some days ago in your dm, I really would like to be close to you but at the same time I do feel like that will not occur or will not happen that easily because I am not that cool and well, I don't know, I feel like I would be that kind of person you would dislike easily. Something I promised this year and will keep till this new year is the tonw of love I give to you and the support you need as a powerful queen. <3

💖 @multidreams-and-desires

My baby sis that I love so much, always taking care of me ane telling me how much you love me :(( this year was amazing. Probably our talks are mostly about problems or just giving each other love. I'm happy that I met you because you are always kind and of course you have also those thirsty moments that all our Tumblr family have —that's why we all get along, we are a bunch of people that have Ateez as their weakness lol. Also, I need to mention that in this new year, you need to know that I'll be giving you more love so just wait for me <3

💖 @msmadness99

Seven, my lovely Seven ^^ First of all I need to mention the iconic moment we both noticed we talked in Spanish after months of always talking on English lol. I know some of your insecurities about your writings and I still want to let you know that when I say that your works are amazing, well written and calls the attention easily, I'm being honest and saying that not as your friend, I say that as a fan of your works. I don't know who tells you or makes you feel insecure about them but hey, is amazing. Even those short things you write and don't get me started with Break Out serie siendjdbdkdys Every time you update, you make me have my heart in my throat kduebwdkd You are very talented, don't let others make you think other way. I love you, Seven <3

I think that is all 👉🏼👈🏼

I hope you all receive this new year with a smile and always being positive ❤️

I’m so grateful for your support and love this year. May you have a prosperous, happy and healthy New Year.

May all your dreams come true in 2021! You got this!❤️

#queue #Happy New Year✨ #I’m so proud of all your accomplishments this year — and I just can’t wait to see what you do in the next. #In an extraordinary year I’ve been grateful for your extraordinary friendship…. thank you #You all deserve the best ❤️✨

[pens-swords-stuff]

idk if you're still doing the ask thing but uhhh what's it like being one of the best writeblrs in town? what's your primary source of inspiration? are there any old wips that you gave up ages ago but are tempted to go back and change/finish? are there any wips that you haven't told anyone about yet but are dying to share? (pls share if you want!) Finally, why do you like writing so much? (you don't have to answer all the questions i just really like asking people these questions bc they're fun)

Thank you so much for all of the questions! I really enjoyed answering them :)

It’s a bit long so I’m putting it all under a cut!

What's it like being one of the best writeblrs in town?

Oh my gosh, I really don’t think I’m anywhere near being one of the best writeblrs in town, but I’m super flattered that you think I am! 

Overall, I love being a writeblr, and I love the little community of friends, mutuals, and followers that I have. I definitely wouldn’t still be around if I didn’t enjoy the community so much! I love being able to support people, and sometimes sharing what little I have. The amount of passion, creativity and kindness here is phenomenal, and I’m really honored to be a part of it!

It’s pretty normal, honestly. I’m definitely not one of the super popular writeblrs that gets a whole lot of engagement (though I am really thankful for every bit of engagement I get 💙💙) so I think that I have a lot less going on than most people might think. That’s mostly my own fault though I think, because I haven’t shared a whole lot of my writing or projects. I reblog stuff, post stuff sometimes, I try to reblog and leave comments on people’s work when I’m feeling up to it, and occasionally I’m delighted by a very kind comment.

It’s not all roses and sparkles though, a lot of really hard work went into getting where I am. Being a bigger blog with a certain reputation also brings with it a lot of problems and frustrations that I usually don’t talk about because I think it’s pretty tacky to rant about publicly on my blog. 

But it’s worth it, you know? The positives definitely outweigh the negatives, and I met so many amazing people here which is the best gift. I just don’t think that my writeblr experience is that different from most other people haha!

What's your primary source of inspiration?

My writing partner is a really big one. She’s super creative and I absolutely adore writing with her. She comes up with the best ideas, and talking about our ideas and projects and characters with her is always a surefire way for me to get excited and inspired about something, even if I’m in a slump!

TV shows, movies, books, video games that I’m into also sometimes ignite a spark! When I’m creatively drained or suffering writer’s block, I always try to just disconnect from writing for a bit and immerse myself in other media until something clicks.

Otherwise, aesthetics are one of the primary ways I get into an idea or a concept so that’s pretty important as well!

Are there any old wips that you gave up ages ago but are tempted to go back and change/finish?

It’s been a really long time since I’ve written for any of the WIPs that I’ve announced on tumblr. For Queen and Country, Morsmordre, Post-Script, Wanderlust... Between me and my partners feeling burnt out, or stuck, or just otherwise busy with other things, they’ve all fallen to the wayside a bit and that makes me a bit sad.

I don’t think any of us have given up on them, but right now they’re not active and I really wish that they were.

Are there any wips that you haven't told anyone about yet but are dying to share?

YES!!! Two of them, in fact.

One of them is a fanfiction that will be accessible to people who aren’t part of the fandom and have no knowledge about it — it will have no spoilers for the fandom, and all of the fandom-specific worldbuilding and such will be explainable. But it’s an incredibly original idea; there’s no fic anything like it on AO3, fanfiction.net or wattpad, and I’m a bit paranoid that once I start talking about it, people might take the idea and run with it? Which you know, might not happen and I know I’m being overly cautious. But I’ve demanded a gag order until we’re ready to post the actual story. It’s so good and I can’t wait to tell people but I want to keep it a secret until it’s ready and faljdskhcnlkdsjcnlakdjn

The other one is my Nano project!!! I’m really close to being able to share it!!!!! So close, yet so far... Hoping to be able to announce within the next week or so.

Finally, why do you like writing so much?

I’ve been writing for my entire life basically, ever since I was 5 years old. It’s just been my choice of a creative outlet, I suppose, and I never really questioned it.

My first serious attempt at writing was play-by-post roleplaying, and I adored that because it allowed me to flesh out characters and character relationships with other people. That’s still a massive part of the appeal because I write with partners. Being able to collaborate on an idea, and endlessly talk about character relationships, dynamics, and plotting is definitely among the most rewarding experiences I’ve gotten with writing.

Like I said before, writing it my creative outlet. I’m a really creative person, but writing is really one of the only ways that I can express it because I’m not artistic whatsoever, and I don’t have a whole lot of other skills. Writing is something I can do though, and I often feel like I’m going to explode if I go too long without creating something. And it’s so immensely satisfying to be able to look at something I wrote or created and be like “Wow, I did really good.” My progress isn’t easily trackable, but I am able to look at my writing and see that I’ve improved, which is really motivating.

But when it comes to the question, why do I like it so much... I’m honestly not sure! Writing has always just been one of my things, and I’ve never actually delved too deeply into the why. It’s an interesting question though, and hopefully I’ll find an answer someday!

#undine answers stuff #Anonymous

[tamryisk]

It's at this point where I've realized that Knifetrick had helped me grow as an artist. Genuinely. And me taking a break from it means that I feel like my art and my "popularity" is just going down. Yes, I'm shadowbanned and that is a major factor as to why some of you don't see my art. But some of you do. So my question is, why don't you reblog it ? You don't even have to add tags or anything !! I would just love the support, especially since I can't do much here anymore. I'm barely getting started on here and already this stupid fucking site thinks I'm a threat. I'm not. I never have been.

However, I do want to get back to Knifetrick as the subject because that's why I made this post. Knifetrick is something that has given me inspiration and joy. But with it being inactive all month so far, I've just felt kinda "eh". Which is one of the reasons why I haven't been posting art. I know I'm popular for my Knifetrick and MCYT Sugar Rush AU artwork, and I'm definitely trying to get back into doing art for those two things. But with my declining mental health, I'm afraid that I may not be able to enjoy those two things as much as I used to.

Knifetrick in of itself is something special. And toxic people have ruined it for me, Max and so many others. I don't get why people think it's ok to push fiction over facts, in a sort of sense. Knifetrick isn't about cc! Beeduo or c! Beeduo. It's at the point where Ran and Jackie are Tak's OCs. He's fleshed out these two oneshot characters and made them his own thing. That is what makes knifetrick special.

Plus, why the fuck is Knifetrick suddenly a problem for this fandom !? We have things like fucking DNF where George is so heavily feminized. Let's look at the fic Accelerate. It's a DNF fic, I would imagine. George, in the fic, dresses in a toxic way of how people see teenage girls and women: revealing, sexy outfits. And Dream is a toxic imagine of masculinity: possessive. And seeing as this fandom is mostly female presenting and some are cishets, they will fucking read this fucking fic and be like "omg this is so hot!" Like bitch. No it's not! It never had been! Why isn't DNF, a weird and almost somewhat toxic, ship, a problem but Knifetrick, a fic that is mostly mystery, is a problem !? Y'all need to make some fucking sense, like genuinely! Know you're arguments! Know the facts before you go saying untruthful shit!

This is why no one can fucking take this fandom seriously. This is I, a person who has been in this fandom for a good 6 or so months, can't take this fandom seriously! I'm sick of it! So many fucking people like to ruin shit. And I'm done. I'm actually done. Not only is this the reason why I've been so shit at keeping up with art and making it, but it's also one of the fucking factors that is making my mental health a fucking hellhole! Like, seriously!?

[ can't fix the tags but since some of y'all have it filtered, here: tw irl shipping. it's implied. ]

#ghostly talks. #Knifetrick

[kponion]

no worries about the late reply. we all have lives outside of tumblr. at least hopefully we do. i'm a bit late now too. fyi it frustrates me when i come to your blog and see posts i'm dying to rb but then i'd reveal myself pfft

nah kpop problem is a nice problem to have. we could do worse. thanks for doing the list for me, i love checking people's bias lists. namjoon, renjun, love, seungkwan <3 is victon's sejun that guy who has a crater dimple? i once reblogged a gifset only for that dimple...

nice songs you picked. love me now <3 i love baby don't stop so much but i'm also a little bit biased bc ten and taeyong. thanks for the youngblood cover rec! loved that, their voices <3 have you seen the spark mv yet? not that there is much to see if you're not a fan of the drama but it has little bit of the boys too.

ok so on the topic of music videos. i don't remember if i listed mvs as to why i love kpop but they are a huge part. i have a yt playlist for my fave kpop mvs, it's about 100 vids and i'm positive it's missing gems since i'm still so new to kpop and i definitely haven't seen everything. i like to rewatch mvs a lot.

once again it's hard to list any fave mvs without it ending up being a mile long list. i love so many. i think i'm generally into ones with lots of cool choreo but i do like some other kinds too, like story driven a la bts spring day. other faves are stray kids god's menu, taemin advice (choreo! outfits! styling! back up dancers!), bts mic drop and fake love and blood sweat and tears, ateez thanxx (vibrant is what i would call it), bts stay gold (it's so pretty and colourful and hopeful, gives me good vibes), enhypen drunk-dazed (the vampire concept and i lovelove the choreo and outfits), everglow first, agust d daechwita and bts idol (both have these traditional korean influences which i love), onlyoneof libido (besides the sultry choreo i love the daring themes for a korean group), red velvet peek-a-boo, bts black swan (gorgeous location and dance plus they all look so damn good in all black), ateez illusion (always brings a smile to my face, love the cute pastel concept with dark undertones in the lyrics), exo obsession (creepy and badass and i love it), hyuna i'm not cool (little bit weird in the best way), so many of nct mvs like simon says and kick it and make a wish and cherry bomb and uhhh maybe i should stop here. it ended up being a messy mile long list anyway, i apologise. i don't really know how else to say what i love in mvs. does these even give any kind of general view on what i like? idk. i don't think i dislike anything? maybe i just don't fixate that much on things i don't like, so i forget about them.

what are some of your fave mvs? can you say what you like and dislike in mvs?

-☀️🌙

I sure hope we all do too. So no worries! And haha, i can understand the struggle. You just have to go back and reblog everything once this is over, haha.

No problem! I think i's fun to talk about to! And crater dimple is accurate lol. Sejun really has the deepest dimple (almost everyone in victon has dimples, it's insane and i'm so weak for dimples it's not even funny).

Thanks for the reminder, i watched spark now! It was really good. And the drama looks super cute, maybe i should check it out.

Wow, that's quite a list, but don't apologise! I also think mvs are one of the reasons kpop is so interesting. They put so much into them, the production value must be insane. You've listed a lot good ones! Love the camera work and the cuts in skz's god's menu. And i also love mvs with traditional korean concepts/influences like idol, daechwita, oneus' lit, and a.c.e's goblin (favourite boys). (if you love traditional korean concepts you should check out a.c.e's version of arirang if you haven't seen it already, it's mind-blowingly good).

I especially have two mvs i will never shut up about. The first one is cix's jungle. It's just stunning in every way. The concept is fantastic, it's inspired by dante's divine comedy. It has some of the most beautiful scenes i've ever seen in a mv. And the choreo cuts are great, just the fact that they're dancing in water hhhhhnnnnn.

The second one is golden child's burn it. It's not even a mv, it's a wholeass zombie movie. It's so cool and beautiful and just heartbreaking. I almost cried when i saw it the first time.

I think i especially like mvs with a storyline. I find those more interesting. Honorable mentions are monsta x's all in and stray kids' side effects. Oh, and onlyoneof's libido, bc holy shit, that was something else. But then i also have a big soft spot for bright and goofy mvs, i love those. Like n.flying's the real and hot potato, skz's awkward silence and get cool, astro's breathless, and exo's power.

Oh, and i also have to mention kang daniel's paranoia, that one blew me away. And onewe's rain to be, love what they did with that one.

Lol i also ended up writing a whole essay. And i've probably forgotten mvs i love. Anyway, hope you have a nice day (or whatever time of day it is for you now)!

#these answers always end up being essays huh #ask #summeranonevent #☀️🌙