#its more polished because I was cleaning up my process

[thesovereignsring-if]

Thea and Rollo's portaits have been added to the patreon for those in the Sovereign Tier for one week early access. <3

#I was having some writer's block today #so I spent the day drawing. #its more polished because I was cleaning up my process #tsr #thea #sneak peak #she's very cute i'm proud of her <3

[betweenblackberrybranches]

So i wrote a little thing for the RLGL au

Its a prologue of sorts, the first actual meeting between the guys and y/n at work before they become neighbours

Be warned though i am not a writer and typed this out quickly on my phone while i was supposed to work so it is probably not that good (i think i just randomly switch between present tense and past tense so it just be like that)

Warning for suggestive themes. But nothing explicit is mentioned

There you stood, one hand grabbing the handle of the sleek chrome and wooden door. This was not part of your job description. And this was really not something you wanted to do. You were a janotor. Fixing minor electrical things, looking after the plumming, washing all sheets that the cleaners brought into the washing room and fixing and cleaning up the rough stuff. Every day was busy and you had always kept to yourself and the many staff only hallways, away from the rich red and black velvet and the polished wooden floors, raw concret where the eyes of the customers wouldnt see.

You felt safe in your domain, the low humming of the heating filling the basement rooms like the breathing of a sleeping dragon. Or atleast that was what you liked to imagine it as. It made your work seem atleast a little more exciting and kept your mind of the various fluids you had to painstakingly rinse out of the white and burgundy sheets.

You straighten your sleeves, a black turtleneck black slacks and a black baseball cap with fazCOs logo, not really the usual uniform for the people interacting with customers, worlds away from the white button up and vest you should be wearing. But this was an emergency. Well as far as the rich bozo in this room was concearned atleast. So who knows on what level the "mess" was, this could be anything from some spilling to..... well no need to think about worst case szenarios.

Straightening your cap one last time you enter the dimmly lit room. You immidiatly regret every single choice that led you to this specific sight. The hairs on your arms rising in protest as you try to nonchalantly step further into the mess, the customer having left apparently, not even waiting for the emergency roomservice to arrive after calling for it. Red wine and some gunk that looked like it had been food once that had been chewed and spit out again smeared all over the couch and carpet. You call out to make sure the coast is clear, trying very hard to not gag.

As soon as you are sure there is no human in the room you rush to a lifeless form of satin metal and plastic on the ground, swallowing hard as salvia and gall rise up in your throat. You find the second one bundeled up on the bed, lanky arms and legs positioned in a way that sent a shiver down your spine, one of his arms was popped out of the shoulder, only hanging by the many thin cables running under the outer casing.

Shaking hands finding the small power button at the base of the blue ones head you wait, counting five and then ten seconds. This isnt something you should be doing. This is against company policies, and yet you cant just leave them like this for a technician to find after you cleaned up. The soft hum of the reboot sent your hand back as if burned and you kneel down to repeat the action on the yellow one. You knew they had names, pretty obvious ones at that.. sun and moon. You had only seen them from afar until now. Especally because you were not a waiter or maid, someone who would walk past them regularly in the flashy suits and club rooms, no you were someone working in the shadows. A shame that the one time you saw them this closely it felt like you should avert your gaze, because even under the questionable liquids and gunk they still looked stunning. The yellow one started humming under your touch and you hurridly got up, starting the cleaning process and ignoring the two stiring bodies like you were supposed to.

Moon sat up straight, unfurling from his nothing but explicit position, his left arm dragging on the bed. No mind was given to the worker bustleing around the furthest corner as moon leaped forwards and down to the ground, shaking arm immidiatly finding his bright counterpart who was in the process of opening his eyes. Sun looked up and welcomed the soft embrace of moon, foreheads pressed together best they could with their orbish heads, giving themselves just one moment of comfort before dealing with the situation at hand.

You had started to clean the bathroom first, wanting to give the two robots enough time to regain their baring and hide their bodies away if they so wished. A bitter taste on your lips you reenter the main suite with two steaming hot towels and a big box of wet wipes, wordlessly pressing them in the hands of the two, now sitting on the bed encased in a thin sheet. With any interaction between general staff and escorts being prohibited you were pretty much towing the line of doing something that could get you fired, but you felt like this needed to be done.

Moving on you cleaned the carpet, trying to ignore the two bots meticulously wiping down eachother. You sigh. This all felt so wrong. You grab the cleaning rag tight as you rub at the carpet and wish you could do more for the two than gracefully ignoring them and their disheviled apearances, assuming theyd even want any help from a random janitor.

They are still cleaning and fixing up eachother when you put away the last stained pillowcase and wipe down the low table one last time. You swallow dryly. All you can think of doing for them is grabing two small post it notes from your cart and make small origami flowers, one of like three things you know how to fold. Leaving them behind on the stack of clean clothing you plop down on one edge of the bed. It is hard not to sneak one last look at the two, hovering around eachother, deeply concentrated on reapplying eachothers makeup with gentle brushstrokes.

The most beautiful constelation. But you feel like this is not something you are supposed to whitness.

You leave the room, softly dragging the door shut behind you and the cleaning cart with a click, disappearing back into the concrete lined corridors of the staff only areas, back to whatever you were doing before, the two robots in their gentle embrace at the border of your mind.

Cream fingers close around the neon colored paper flowers, to be carefully deposited in an inner jacket pocket and transported home. To be kept safe in a small cardboard box under their bed. To be forgotten but never lost.

#fnaf sun #fnaf moon #sundrop #moondrop #dca #daycare attendant #dcamv #my writing #rlgl au #i know this isnt very good #or long #anyways ill go hide now

[momojedi]

— HEMLOCK topic. hunter x gn! jedi! reader

**

type. loss, pt 3 note. uh oh, its a series now. warnings. imprisonment, creepy hemlock, non-con touch (non-sexual), just hemlock being the creep i perceive him as word count. 737 tag list: @ooostarwarsfandom501st @shadow-rebel-223

star wars masterlist || pinned post

I stare at the straw doll.

"Tha-," I gulp, running my tongue over cracked lips, "Thanks." The girl smiles at me, a genuine and kindhearted quirk in the corner of her mouth. "You're welcome." Her words are heavily accented and laced with so much authenticity, I can't help but flash her a tiny grin. "What's your name?" "O-"

"Ah, I see you two are bonding already." Before she can finish her answer, a cool voice interrupts her. We simultaneously turn our heads to the cell door. In it stands a man with dark hair and piercingly blue eyes. He's calm, perceiving us in a creepy manner as he scans her, the doll in my hands before then moving on to me. His gaze lingers on me for a second and the urge to shrink and disappear suddenly becomes very prominent. He turns to the girl.

"Dr Karr must be waiting on you," he speaks in a soft manner that yet radiates more cold than warmth, "move along." Hesitantly, as if refusing to leave me behind, she sends a swift glance my way. I nod. She wouldn't be able to do much for me, either way, especially not in my current state. Then, she slowly makes her way over to the man and slips out of the cell, though not before giving me on last wave. The man watches her disappear down the hallway, hands clasped behind his back. "She seems to have taken a liking to you," he hums, not looking at me.

I don't respond, no, instead I observe him until my thoughts drift over to what Dr Karr had said earlier. My brows furrow. "You're Hemlock," I realise, eyes widening. Was this the man responsible for my capture? Responsible for the weeks upon weeks of mental as well as physical torture? His low chuckle interrupts my thoughts.

"Well observed." Hemlock approaches me, taking confident strides over to me until he stands in front of me, right where I'm leaning against the wall. He's close, too close than I'd consider comfortable, caging me in to the point I can practically smell his breath. Minty. "You're [name], " He states, offering me a smile though nothing about it is kind, "You were a Jedi during the war. Commander, if I'm not mistaken?"

I bite my lip and glue my eyes to the polished floor. It's still sparkling from when the last maintenance crew cleaned up. Out of the corner of my sight, I notice a quirk in his lips. Hemlock has clearly taken notice of my reaction. My fingers twitch and I try my best to suppress the sudden itch I feel to knock him to the ground.

"Oh, the Jedi," he purrs, a hint of mock lacing his tone, "truly a bummer what happened to them." Hemlock sighs. "If only they hadn't betrayed the-" "They didn't betray shit," I bark, snapping out of my distant state. Hemlock looks taken aback for a second, a surprised glint flickering in his eyes, but he quickly gathers himself.

"Oh? That's not what official reports said." "That's because your official reports are nothing but a load of bantha fodder." I growl. He stares at me, his ice cold eyes meeting mine and a shiver runs down my spine. The sudden urge to tear my eyes away from him overtakes me and despite my defiance, I scowl yet lower my gaze. Hemlock doesn't like it.

"Look at me." I ignore him, shutting my eyes and shutting him out in the process. "I said," he breathes steadily, hot air hitting my face, "look at me."

The hand that finds itself at my neck knocks the air out of me when he grips my chin and forces me to look at him.

"You are alone. None of your Jedi friends will save you; not here, nor anywhere else in the galaxy. And you know why? Because they're all dead," he closes his eyes and sighs silently, his tone growing soft again, almost loving, when he rises again, readjusting the glove on his hand, "I'm giving you a chance here. A chance to survive, to be part of a greater purpose. It's up to you to take it."

Fixing him with a glare, I lean my head back to gather as much saliva as I can before spitting at his feet.

"My family will come for me. They'll save me."

At least I hope so.

#star wars #bad batch #clone sergeant hunter #x reader #reader insert #gender neutral reader #tbb x reader #the bad batch x you #the bad batch x reader #bad batch x reader #bad batch x you #star wars x y/n #star wars x you #star wars x reader #clone wars #the bad batch #the clone wars #star wars the clone wars #tbb #star wars clone wars #star wars the bad batch #my writing

[crispycreambacon]

I thought I'd share the sketch of this poster/book cover as well as my initial concepts! You can click the "Read More" button for more in-depth explanations on my design process.

Thhis is all for my latest fanfiction, Snip Snip, so if you'd like to check that out, then...

Now let's crack in!

For the release of "Snip Snip", I actually had several different directions in mind! One was a comic of one of the scenes from the fanfic—specifically the one where the Professor breaks down in front of Kate and Joyce with the line "I don't like being a woman"—and the other was a series of doodles showing the Professor's transition. Unfortunately, both directions met dead ends as I couldn't find the motivation to do either. The most progress I made were these sketches.

If you're wondering, "The first one looks familiar..." that's because I reused that pose for my first promo art! It was too good of a pose. I couldn't waste it :P

But anyways, after a period of getting extremely frustrated over the lack of progress, I realized my main problem: I was biting off more than I could chew. I didn't know this at the time, but I was dealing with burnout from school assignments that made drawing more ambitious ideas like the ones I had very difficult. Hence, I had to scale it down. It made me think, "Why not do something like a movie poster or a book cover?"

That's how the sketches at the top of the post came to be! I consulted a friend of mine over which pose to choose, and he picked the third one which I understand why so. The obscuring of the Professor's face not only made it cool, but it adds symbolism in how we don't really see his true identity—the real him—until his transition. Here's the first sketch!

As you can see, the title is on the top left corner! However, I moved it to the bottom for two reasons

It's advice I learnt while looking up how to make movie posters since moving the title to the bottom tends to bring more focus to the illustration above.

I couldn't find a font that fits! And the idea of doing typography again (especially after the Keep Yourself Safe poster...) was really not what I signed up for.

But then it left the problem of the top corner looking empty. It was too distracting! So what did I fill it in with? The subtitle: This is their story. The composition is now more balanced, and also the subtitle tickles me.

As I said before, I looked up movie posters for this! Special thanks to the Nashville Film Institute and Muse by Clio for their articles that guided me during this poster making process. I will say though I got really sidetracked watching Filmmaker IQ's The History of the Hollywood Movie Poster 😭 It's really interesting, I'd recommend watching it!

One thing I learnt is that movie posters limit their colour palettes. Of course, this is good advice for art in general, but movie posters emphasize on its colour usage to attract the audience with their simple yet bold schemes. It is a piece of advertisement after all! Following their footsteps, I limited my colours to the primary colours (red, yellow, blue) and purple to make the scissors pop and allude to the nonbinary flag colour scheme.

And from there, it was just a matter of experimenting with rendering! I wanted a mix of pop art and storybook illustrations, so I mixed lineart with lineless, and I wanted to retain the energy of the sketch while still polishing it, so I cleaned the sketch, merged it with the colours, and painted on top of it rather than make a separate lineart layer.

Overall, I'm extremly proud of the end result! The struggle of figuring out the promo art for this fic has been tormenting me since the beginning of the year, so I'm glad to bring it to an end. Thank you for reading my ramblings! I hope you learnt something or at least had fun? Either way, have a good day!!

#this truly has been a rambles moment #i really really recommend watching that video by the way it is FASCINATING #the professor #shane madej #puppet history #poster design #art process #design process #art #artists on tumblr #sketches #concept art #chris p fried rambles #chris p fried art

[ssseriema]

oh! oh i have one! always very interested of how the sketch phase looks like in such shaped styles! and maybe some thought process on lines?

oohhhh interesting one!!! the thing about my art is that a lot of what you see are actually just polished sketches. as in. i go with the flow and clean up later. but when i actually do lineart after a sketch it mostly to get the shapes of it right, so they look like this

on the last 2 in particular i focus on like. where things are supposed to be and then i detail with lineart. which is pretty standard i think. i dont do a lot of breakdowns like with sticks and stuff because its easier for me to freehand it lmao

for lines, i erase in some places and go over others double a lot, i just think that adds more depth to them :)

#asks! #seri's art process

[sol-consort]

Greetings Shepard Commander or would it be Pathfinder Ryder?

How are you doing and/or how has this week been going? What ever you feel comfortable sharing?

I've claimed a paracetamol pill as my personal desk pet because I got too attached to throw it out. I pet it on occasion.

It's the end of the day, one hour away from my bedtime and fuck I am so tired and exhausted and sleepy. You really just wake up tired one day as an adult, and stay this way for the rest of your life, huh?

I've written a bit today, working on the salarian hug post and polished the Thane fic a bit more. By "writting" I mean debated for half an hour if I should make it a female salarian since I made the krogan a male to balance things out.

Which led to a looking up info about salarians and finding out their population is 90% males, leading to females having only the most important jobs. Also that Andromeda throws a bowling ball at the delicate champagne glasses tower that is the mass effect word building by making a single salarian woman work in a warehouse.

How their population stay alive, you ask? Their females birth clutches of eggs.

I decided to make it a guy in the end, might make the turian a woman then. Drell def guy bc I don't know what female drell are. Or maybe make it all guys? I want there to be a balance but I don't want to force it when I really wanted to write a guy so ehh.

I try not to talk about my writing process too much, it muddies up the final product. It's like magicians refusing to give up the secrets to their tricks. It's a very messy and clumsy process here back at the writing kitchens and I rather you think the finished piece was definitely well-thought out and made by a sane person.

Anyway so back to my pet pill.

I was cleaning my desk and apparently a pill fell out of a paracetamol sheet that I didn't notice until the next day. It's been open too long so it's contaminated by now and shouldn't be consumed. I was about to throw it away but I stopped and stared.

It's so...adorable?

The endearing oval shape, the lovely white colour. Flawless like a sheet of paper or a white daisy in a field. How much these little pills helped me through headaches. The cute cut in the middle of the pill to help you split it.

I have a vivid memory of the first time I have ever took paracetamol. I was young, around 7 years old and I had this migrane that wouldn't go away thanks to my dad passing me the genes.

My brother who was studying in med school at the time, gave me half a pill. I didn't know how to swallow pills yet, I choked on the first one and spit it out, only by the second time did I manage to get it down with so much water.

Look at me now, so used to meds I easily swallow 3 at a time with a small sip of juice through a straw. Sometimes down them with monster energy.

Anyway, so I took the half pill, which must have been like what? 250mg? If not less, because he might have just given me one quarter of a pill. 20 minutes later I'm fully out, slept through the entire day.

My blood was so pure back then, and resistance low. It was a fond memory, I got many headaches as a kid but I always suffered through them with a brave face and that was the first time I realised something as small as a couple grains of rice can bring so much relief.

I still suffer through the headaches, I try not to depend on pain killers too much since I don't want to build up an immunity and have to move on to stronger ones. I keep a balance yk? But today was unbearable and I gave in.

So that memory flashed through me when I saw that stray pill on the desk. I'll keep it there just to look at it, it feels like a friend.

I've been reading about the medicine and its history. Apparently, it targets different pain receivers than Ibuprofen, so the two of them could be used together for better pain relief. Also,

But it was very different at first and even toxic! It literally choked your body tissue cells by preventing the hemoglobin from binding oxygen and causing cyanosis. It was known as Antifebrin.

So, in 1877, it was officially synthesised as paracetamol, but it was only during 1887 that it was used on humans by Joseph von Mering.

funfact, to prevent your cells from choking out, all your body cells must be at least within 100 micrometers of a blood vessel for their oxygen to be delivered in time.

Funfact. This info is qouted directly from my memory and I'm currently factchecking it to try and find If it's actually accurate but no relevant results so far.

Funfact. Okay, I found this research paper that actually goes in depth about this and supports my funfact.

Also your red blood cells do not require oxygen! The only body cells that don't need oxygen are the same ones delivering it. HA.

Cells are the same size right? So an ant and a human have the same size cells, just different amounts. Correct so far.

So the thing with cancer is, it happens by probability. All of us get cancer multiple times a day and our immune systems take care of it. It's only dangerous when it slips by long enough to become a tumor.

Now, based on the laws of probability, the more cells the higher risk of an error in cell division aka the higher the cancer risk? Right?

Wrong.

For some fucking reason, bigger animals than us with so many more cells, have very very veryyyy low cancer rates when they shouldn't. Take elephants or whales for example. Something in their genes either overcame the cell division error prone OR made their immune system much better at detecting stray cells that refuse to self destruct.

Analysing elephant genomes like TP53 gene showed that elephants developed a suppresser to stop damaged cells from dividing and ending the hydra before it could grow another head. As side effects, it lead to elephants having more cell deaths and low DNA repair mechanisms.

Elcors come to mind. Is the fact they still communicate by phormones rather than sounds related to some bargaining chip they had to cash in order to accommodate for their big sizes? Like we humans, paid a shit tone of gene money and got in gene debt for our brains that took so many years to pay off. That's why only the homosapians are left.

Where did the elcor genomes cash in all the saved up unused evolution points? And how did they exactly evolve to be self aware when most animals with their line of evolution end up as herd animals with survival and procreation as their only goal? Was it a mutation that lucked out or did natural evolution actually saw it benfical for them to develop self awareness in order to survive?

Are elcor just immune to all diseases, maybe? Do they have an especially naturally high success birth rate without the need for surgery or medical intervention? Are their stomach biomes simply superior, and they never get stomaches?

And why do Krogans have tails?

Okay, I'm going off topic.

What was the main topic?

Ah yes me.

Uh.

I really appreciate you btw, and the way you refer to me as "commander Shepard" in these asks.

The first time it happened, I was caught off guard and I loved it so much I didn't want to answer the ask because it meant I won't be able to see it in my inbox anymore. I wanted to keep a copy and frame it just to save my happiness, I was literally this picture.

Fjowjfkwsb

It's just so?????? Validating? Like YES I AM COMMANDWR SHEPAPRD YES THANKS JDQKJD <333

Then it happened a second time and I was oh my god oh my god oh my god!!!!♡!!♡♡♡♡♡

It's been a while since you dropped by so It completely left my mind. I opened my asks yesterday and I saw this and AAAAAA i love you so much.

Like for I moment I was like twirling my hair and giggling. Especially the addition of Ryder at the end. dude I am saving this ask. I've been opening my inbox just to look at it and feel happy. Like you noticed that I'm playing andromeda now? Kdjqojdakndos <33

Oh and I've been playing helldivers 2 lately! It's so much better than I expected. I never imagined a day would come where I'd willingly touch a coop fps, nor the day where I don't suck at fps. Dude all i knew before mass effect was far cry 4 and even then I used a bow! Dude I am not built for fps bc honestly mass effect is not the training you think it is. I played with a controller.

And yet...I'm actually good. It's like legit good! I am useful and my aim is good and I've helped people so many times. Plus, I have more to show up for than just aim like attention to details plus support capabilities, so I'm great in teams. At this rate, I might get deep rock galatic and join the public servers without fear of having shit aim while playing with strangers.

It feels...nice. Weird but nice. Almost like I'm invading someone else's community, even in mass effect I feel like I'm an outisder and it shows yk? Something in me just seems off in comparison to the rest of the community...but I want to stay and I want to keep writing for it. I want to keep trying even if no one is there because I genuinely love it. The mass effect universe and I'm starting to love shooter games.

I played moba like league a lot, I have experience with toxic coop so nothing fps games throw at me could compare.

I'm

I will carve myself a place in this fandom if I have to.

For every vent post I share, 10 go to drafts and 50 end up unwritten. There is so much emotions and I care more about reception to my writing than I let on. I read every reblog and post, I notice everything. I compare the numbers always.

I wish I cared less. I wish I cared like you guys cared. You all seem so happy, so unaffected. Do you just not show it, or is this your reality?

Anyway.

I'm better now anon. I was worse before I wrote this, and now I'm much better. Thank you for this chance. I can't repay your kindness, I just hope life gives it back to you in some way soon.

My mom's birthday is soon, I'm preparing for it. I'm a little sad because I bought her handmade knitted flowers, a full bouquet of them in her favourite colour. And she loves knitting but can't anymore. I thought she'd love them but she didn't, my plan was to buy her a bouquet every major celebration until the house is full of them. I don't know how to knit but, it stings less that it's not me who made them at least.

And the page had very cute knitted dolls! I might order one for myself. They make it by hand and sent me pictures of the wool before they made it, their prices is too good too! Like knitting is super hard and time consuming, yet they sell it as the same price as regular flowers? They should charge more for it, I was prepared to pay much more, double their asking price even because I understand the luxury of handmade stuff.

I refunded a steam game recently because fanatical added it in a bundle and it's cheaper there. It's the third game I refunded this week yet steam were very understanding! It's a nice surprise.

I want to write more but I don't have the time or energy. I'm afraid I'll lose my readers attention. I also feel guilty whenever I see my regulars reblogging and liking older posts because it meant they came to my blog looking for updates and found nothing so they reread past stuff instead.

Oh and I wanted to name my ship in helldivers 2 after destiny ascension :( they didn't let me :(

It was either dream of destiny or song of peace so I went with song of peace.

To DELIVER PEACE WITH MY SHOTGUN RIFLE YEEHAW THAT'S TRUE DIPLOMACY BABBYY.

I got stuck under the map once, good times, good times.

It took me 2 hours to write this. Most of the time was spent factchecking the information I claimed above but still.

I'll go sleep, listen to some music. Fkhwkfns look at my title as commander shepard in you ask again and listen to some music while imagining fake scenarios where I am commander Shepard and I WIN!

I hope you sleep well anon! Take care of your.

#☆other

[bellshazes]

the problem with long-term temporary infrastructure in minecraft is that most common solutions to how do you get around a build in survival while it's under construction just don't signify infrastructure. moss, dirt, slime etc., especially when pillared, read as ultra-tempoarary or disconnected; they are so supremely unconstructed, betraying that the reality of the thing you're building is not aligned with the reality of the process of building it. gravity-defying, structurally unsound, fantastical etc., they produce an unpleasant dissonance next to a build destined for polish.

ladders signify what they are perfectly well, but don't provide the functionality of a platform. scaffolding is visually noisy and repetitive at scale, and ironically although it signifies something intentionally structured for support, it's even more temporary than the blocks that read that way - and it's easy to accidentally destroy, so not ideal for medium to long term.

bubble columns, because they're usually hidden, don't seem to signify anything at all to me - and even a lava-and-cobble setup process trades aesthetics for quick creation, and they're still a pain to clean up as the scale increases. and like ladders, they aren't a solution to the problem of not being able to float on their own.

the reason i built a mushroom parkour course in my ethogirls tower base is because i wanted to be able to fully scale it as i built it; it's still an imperfect solution because i basically can't texture from the inside now, and i've got the same problem on the exterior, but you can i suppose solve the "too fantastical" problem by... leaning into fantasy. wonder if you could start a house build, then set up the landscaping/trees/other stuff nearby to function as sneaky scaffolding as well? if you can't get what you're doing to signify as what it's supposed to be, what if you fully obscured its purpose instead?

#mc meta

[thescrapwitch]

⭐⭐⭐

I may not be reading much in the way of LotR/Silmarillion but I'm fascinated by your writing style!

Thank you so much!

And thank you for letting me ramble about a fic very dear to my heart (and very slow to be completed!) "For Want of a Crown".

My first Silmarillion fic started because (after devouring tons of delicious fics and having drawn out the entire timeline of the First Age to try and understand how its plot REALLY worked) I got bored at work. In a notebook, with a purple pen, I wrote "for want of a crown I guess that's the title?" and then just followed the story. No plan or anything, just jumping from character to character, bullet-point style, mostly dialogue, letting it all play out.

I just wrote the first scene and then the next and the next. And every time I returned to it after breaking for real life responsibilities, I would just keep going? Something about not wanting to break the story, or change the colour pen, I don't know? My brain just kept pouring it out until I reached the end and had like 80 pages of a bullet-point fic. I've never written a fic like that before! I joked to my sister that Tolkien's ghost must have possessed me or something. It had a theme, too! The idea of power, what people will do for it and if those decisions are worth it; how a family can be broken up because of this want and if it's worth the sacrifices. I looked back at that entire rough draft and thought "oh that's what this is about!" And it was fun, to take the starting point of the Silmarillion, twist a couple things, and then see where all the dominos would fall.

After some debate, I decided to clean it up and start typing (just for myself) and then, after the first few chapters were polished enough, I thought "why not" and threw them on AO3.

Its a slow process, because even though I have that entire rough draft done there's still lots of places that need to be better filled in (oh god, I am dreading the second Silmaril part!) and character arcs to polish (Galadriel, I'm looking at you, why did you make your arc clear to me SIX CHAPTERS into this story???) but I've been enjoying it. I don't want to rush this one. Its special to me and I'm having fun learning new things and trying to balance all the events and different POVs. Its my attempt at doing a more "epic" long-form fantasy story, with many POVs and covering a very long period of history, with all the family drama a story about power would include, but where all the characters are decent, good people who just make choices that conflict with each other. It's about letting Maedhros be mad at his dad and forcing Feanor to face actual consequences for his decisions; about Maglor seeing everyone's doom but being too broken to warn them about it; about Fingon and Turgon's opposing ideas on faith; about Luthien and Galadriel's friendship; about Aegnor choosing to love Andreth and what becomes of it.

It is very special to me, and, while its not as popular as some of my other fics, I love it very, very much.

#thank you again for the ask #sorry if this was rambly #i just have lots of feelings about this #its a very special fic to me #even if my fingers are slow to finish it #my writing #silmarillion

[softbean]

You guys... I want to clarify something. So many of you reblog my pixel art pieces shocked at how I was able to draw them “square by square”.

(a polished pixel art piece of orym)

I’m sorry to burst your bubble but that’s not how pixel art works, at least not for me. I hope you won’t idolize an unrealistic belief and don’t hold me to an impossible standard. When things like that are said, I start to feel ashamed for “cheating” or “taking short cuts” because I’m not actually living up to your expectation that I’m drawing them square by square. Lines exist in pixel art. The bucket tool exists, so do layers. Even more amazingly, so do dithering brushes. I use procreate on an iPad, not MS paint with my mouse, because this is 2023. I don’t want my art to be appreciated solely for how “difficult” the creation process is—I want it to be appreciated for its content. Intentionally making art inaccessible may be a choice some artists make—and in a sense pixel art is a challenge like that, to limit your shapes and form and colour palette—but that’s what it is: a personal challenge, a stylistic preference. Making art hard can add to its value, but it shouldn’t be the only thing valuable about it, and “hard art” shouldn’t make you think that “easy art” is worth less. There is no easy medium. The amount of awe and ‘THIS IS PIXEL ART?!’ I get in comparison to the silence when I make art in my preferred medium makes me sad that the audience seems to take certain types of art media and styles for granted. There is no easy medium. And, I don’t find pixel art particularly harder than other media. Sure, pixel art style may be more unique, but it certainly isn’t barred from the same advancements in art technology that have developed in other forms of art, and it certainly shouldn’t be appreciated only for its uniqueness.

When people express awe in the “pixel by pixel” process, I get sad thinking they’ll never really know the kind of work that goes into refining a pixel art piece: the meticulous and tedious cleaning of lines (I don’t draw lines pixel by pixel, instead I draw a line and erase pixel by pixel), the overlaying of different dither brushes to create gradients from a limited palette, the block coloring that I do by hand, and the endless revisions I make to capture the feeling I want to convey. None of these are done pixel by pixel as if going left to right, top to bottom, none of these are done square by square like your color-by-numbers, but it doesn’t mean it was quick or easy. To me, my choice of art style doesn’t matter as much as the feelings I want my art to evoke, the impression that I want it to leave on your being, some ineffable part of you that responds without needing to break art down to its technicalities.

I’ve learned over the years that there is no cheating in art. If doing something will improve the look of your piece, and save you time, then that’s a win.

I know a lot of you don’t make art yourselves, and are of the mindset that anything that looks more difficult/time consuming to you than others becomes mysterious, feels cooler than things you think you’re more likely to be able to make yourselves. But I don’t like this view of art as something that is worth more the more untouchable it is. I like to think that art is everywhere, ubiquitous, and something that anybody with soul can make and regularly does make. It just takes the right lens to see the art in your own life for what it is. It’s not so far away. In fact, sometimes the closer to me art is, the more impact it has for me.

(a roughly sketched comic that resembles the doodles of a child)

Art comes from life, art is alive because we are alive, it is not its own mysterious separate thing. I wish more people would appreciate the art that we can make rather than the art that we can’t, and that more people would embrace the art in their lives as opposed to keep it at arms length like it’s something foreign.

Art is not talent. It’s not about what you’re born with or without, familiar or foreign. If society has put up definitions and parameters for what is considered “art”, to the point where you feel it’s impossible for you to make your own, then perhaps we should reexamine the ideals of our society that only sees artistry in perfection. In truth, art is hard work and dedication, and above all, to me it’s choosing to see the beauty in the most mundane things, in things that aren’t conventionally beautiful. That’s why I don’t want my art to be appreciated for how impossible it feels. I want it to be appreciated for all the ways you feel warm and represented and connected and understood by it.

#wow i did not intend to write this much but the more i analyzed why im so uncomfy with pixel art praise the more i realized #this is a much bigger problem than i imagined #disclaimed but i only speak for myself and i do not claim to speak for any other pixel artist or artist or just...anyone else

[god--of--mischief]

~ Killing me softly

Loki x Reader

Short Drabble

Canon divergent / AU

Triggers - None. Just pure sadness !

Summary - For years, you’ve been captive, a mere servant to the king of Asgard, the only mortal to walk the grounds until one day, you decided you finally want freedom, you want a normal life in Midgard. But the only thing holding you back, is him. It’s always him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~X~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ocean piercing eyes watched you from the golden, polished throne - The cold hues that held such beauty had never been so… concerning. Though daily life, surrounding yourself around the king had always felt this way. As if you were any other prey being scanned down by it’s predator.

Having promised to serve and obey rather than being a prisoner to the dark elves, Loki had taken up the offer, in his eyes, it would be some kind of redemption, but in yours? - It was a bitter choice you made. Only making you miss family and loved ones back on Midgard.

A year had passed serving under the raven god - The tender and subtle conversations had turned into somewhat jesters and slight teases. Though you didn’t acknowledge them as anything other than the means to get ‘on’ with you. Loki had always attempted ways to get your attention, but the sentiment had been something you knew he couldn’t have, or build… until a few days ago.

“You must know… just because you cater for me, you don’t have to dwindle in that kitchen all night” Loki started, the crackling fire making the atmosphere around you somewhat, soothing. Soft emeralds had stared you down once more.

“I… I know. But I like to steer clear. Not be.. you know? In the way?” You respond, although you feel stupid for merely sounding meek.

Loki inhaled, a calculating expression grew to his pale features until he gave out a small scoff “You are not in anyone’s way. You may cook, clean and serve under me, but if it wasn’t for your services, I wouldn’t have a faithful midgardian to trust around here” He muttered, pulling on his thin bottom lip “-Besides, your company comforts me” A sly grin made its way to the corner of his lips. His eyes had again, gave away that sincerity he had in his voice…

You quirked your brow to his last sentence “Comforts you?… how so?” With your hands on your hips, you grow curious, wanting to pull more words out of him.

“I suppose your irate demeanour makes me amused - After all, I need to be entertained in my kingdom too, no?” The way he chuckled through his raspy tone made you erupt a small laugh to follow with his, but after it calmed, you stared at him some more. His eyes had diverted to watch the flames within the fireplace entwine and flicker.

You bit your tongue, the nauseous feeling had aroused but you couldn’t help yourself.

“Loki…” you started, quiet, guilt ridden…scared… “I know I have been easy to rely on and had helped you with many things here for a long time. If it wasn’t for you, I’d be in a dark situation, or worse, I’d be dead” You stated, your own eyes now trailing to fixate upon the floor.

“B-But I’ve been thinking… about home. About how I might want to get out there, explore, see family… see my friends. I don’t think they can deal with the thought that I’ve ‘moved’ country… it’s too…” you paused, features pained slightly “-Too much”

The silence Loki had after you had spoken was what started to break you - His empty stare, his slow nodding of his head as if he knew this moment would occur. “I understand. It was never my intention to keep you as some… some kind of prisoner” He replied, as if he had started to be bitter upon himself.

You shook your head and stopped yourself from falling into too many emotions and anxieties “You never made me feel such things” was all you said, until he managed a small tight lipped smile. Then, after a minute passed of processing, Loki had left.

You had the morning to think on it, to decide what was best. Although Asgard was beautiful and otherworldly and breathtaking as you were always reminded of everyday, you still wanted the normality of the busy cities or the quiet country sides… it was a weird feeling. It was homesick.

Waking up from the warm, large bed. You took time staring into the polished mirror, body and mind not wanting to do anything else. But you made your choice, and you knew you devoted your mind to stay as long as you could. A knock upon the door startled you, and you had frozen into place until you snapped your mind into moving. The sound of silence was all that could be heard on the other side - You knew this may of been Loki, but you opened the door with a brave visage all the same, until it was merely one of the guards.

“Miss? Heimdall is awaiting your Presence on the bridge” were the man’s words, before departing.

You were confused, you thought from the conversation prior that you would be escorted or had some more time with the king himself, but he was no where to be seen… You made way to the bifrost, the beautiful passageway to other worlds, to home.

Yet Loki was no where to be seen. Only the sole protector himself - The curious stare the tall man made had struct more confusion through you, puzzled that this was it - your goodbye, your end here.

“Miss. Are you ready?” Heimdall spoke, with a small smile the man had stared up into the sky, getting the portal ready to open up, you felt empty, and torn - Where was he!?

“Heimdall? Where’s Loki?” You asked, through the roars of the warping, the fear had made tears taint your cheeks.

“He’s here miss. We all thank you for your services, and our king does too” He called over the painful sounds, to this you were more disorientated, eyes darted around the room until you saw Loki standing just a few inches from the portal Heimdall opened, leaning against the entrance, eyes on you as they always were. Full of sorrow, and distraught.

“Loki?” You yelled, a hopeful expression now grew as you looked over at him. “I’m sorry…”

His brow furrowed, and his arms un folded, he started walking towards you, acknowledging what you were going to say - “No. I’m sorry” He spoke, loud enough for you to understand or read his lips.

“For what?” You asked, noticing that Heimdall couldn’t hold onto having the portal open for so long, the struggle for him was making you un impatient to make him wait for all of this. But you had to hear it…

A small but saddened smile made way to his face, staring at Heimdall and then diverting his gaze to you. “-For not making it clear months ago. Knowing this moment would kill me…” His words made you feel more nauseous, as if he had torn straight through you - Heimdall had taken the order to push you through, but all of a sudden the world around you had turned into slow motion, wether it was the processing of it all, the feeling of being teleported, you didn’t know, but all you did know, was the words that seemed to of left the God of mischief’s mouth as you was slowly engulfed by darkness, you sworn you could of seen the movement of his lips tell you ‘I love you’

~~~ x ~~~

I hope you enjoyed this small silly Drabble. I haven’t done one for so long but if you want more then feel free to give me some requests or ideas of any fics or reader x Loki. And feel free to support or give me a coffee on kofi

#{ OOC ; } #Loki fic #Loki x reader #AU Loki x reader #Loki laufeyson #Drabble #fluff #Reader x mcu #Reader x

[nightzskii-archived]

Can you tell me the story of how we became friends? <:3 👉👈 it can be as sillyies as you want, or as serios as you can, it can be a mystery or fantasy or what ever! :D it can also be short or long /nf

(<:3c i just wanted to ask something silly and my brain made this up)

@gender-mailman

* hmmmm okay!! sorry that this is relatively late by the way, I kept falling asleep haha :')

* But, everytime I think of how we became friends i think of my source and a different world where my thoughts run wild so I'll be using those two for this!

* There actually was someone in source like you and other people, so its not that hard to be like " oh okay i feel so comfortable saying this "

* I also went on a ramble I'm sorry.

━━━━━━━☆━━━━━━━

How we became friends.. well. At first, I've seen you walk around the kingdom a couple of times, you weren't always aware that you walked by it and sometimes when you were aware we'd have a little chat every time while i was in a disguise (my more human one, but it had demon features)

But promptly after a discussion yesterday, I heard a commotion outside the kingdom and went to check it out to only see you having a misunderstanding with some goops (They're very violent and really territorial if you aren't another goop(scratches head)), I had went to try and calm the situation down but a different goop tried eating you so it was a full on battle with the rest of them while i hid you inside my own goop (don't question, it I'll send the doc about my source and goops after.....)

I won (since I was more powerful (being the son of a god has its perks)) but still kept you hidden until we made it to my castle to which i helped you out of my goop after!! We were chatting and everything to help you calm down from the situation and even some of your friends came by (since they would also walk around the castle with you) to help calm you down

You'd visit a lot after and I'd be waiting for you at the start of the castle since i hadn't known where you lived, and everytime You'd visit or stay for a couple of days we'd have tea at least once and then do all sorts of things

I taught you all about my species and the kingdoms cultures, the different songs (some are actually real songs too (i was excited when i knew this)), the different type of foods (same as some music), how many gods there were and how i was also considered one, a lot of things and i also TRIED teaching you my language but.. it, it didn't work out (teaching meep, goop, zip, beep or anything else is SO HARD HELP. It's like cats meowing but DIFFERENT.) So whenever we'd want to have a private convo out in the open, I'd shapeshift a bit to have the same species as YOU so we could talk in your language instead

We'd always help brush each others fur, and when i first told you my goop was fur you were so surprised i ended up laughing like a tea kettle. I'd also polish all your accessories and clean you clothes while giving you some of mine to wear as I did so, it ended up being like a model thing, where me and some of our friends had to rate the different clothes you wore (I'd keep giving you a 10 because you genuinely did look great in every clothes i gave you :3)

We painted each others nails once, me in my more human form and you just being you as we were gossiping about the latest drama, (I told you about some guys fighting over cabbage and you told me about some glass being knocked over by someones grandma)

There was a time you died too, but i resurrected you and gave the god who did it a scolding of their entire life time (all in a different language too so you wouldn't hear me say some... words)

I also kinda like blessed you. on accident. so that you wouldn't get injured by gods anymore since they were.. extremely powerful (not as.. powerful as me for some reason idk).. and blessing is like, a weird process depending on the god or person trying to get blessed... it wasn't weird for us but it was still like " when thr fuck did i do this " and i still don't know how

Oh yeah!!! I also gave you a personal guard one time but they lost you so fast and we laughed about it cause you were purposefully trying to lose them

#starduzt talks —📂 #max🪐 #stardom! — gender mailman[💌] #Max's Source Talk . . .☆ #tw death mention

[sinnamonrolldice]

Hello, I hope you're doing well! I just adore all of your dice, they look so cool 😁 I've been interested in resin art for a while now (specifically D&D dice) but I have no idea where to start! 🤷‍♀️ Like what all materials would I even need? how do I mix stuff? Are there any tips or help you could give me?

Please and thank you very much 😊

Oh absolutely! I did quite a bit of research when I first started and tried a few ways I read. I'll tell you what I do and what works for me c:

First step you'll need Clear Cast Epoxy. You can actually find this at Walmart in the craft section. It comes with 2 bottles and you mix it equally in a measure cup. I use a silicone measuring cup so I can reuse it. I also use cheap small plastic cups for mixing in color. You can use mica powder, alcohol ink or even acrylic paint! I prefer the ink because it can either bi thick or a colored clear. For molds, you can get D&D dice molds from Etsy but I'd be careful. They're not the best quality. I swear by nanolabmaker! They're fairly priced, ship fast and the molds are great quality. They don't have other fonts but it's great for a start. When pouring be sure to go slow and overfull each dice mold and pour some of the resin on the lid. I use a lighter to pop any bubbles on the top and wait a bit before closing it, just in case any more bubbles appear. When closing don't push too hard as you could create air bubbles. It's a bit of a trial and error since you need to close it enough or you'll have raised faces.

You'll let the mold sit for 12 hours to harden. I use a pressure pot which gets rid of nearly all bubbles. I don't recommend it for just starting out as it's pretty pricey. But while starting, you will most likely have small bubbles or voids in your dice. Use this time to test textures, coloring and just making sure you mix the resin correctly. (I've messed up on not stirring enough, then I used a power tool to stir).

After pulling out the dice, you can use an exacto knife to cut off any edges from the top dice face. After that I start on the sanding. The long process. I start with 800 sandpaper and go clockwise 10, counterclockwise 10, up and down 10 and side to side 10 times. But everyone has their own process. I go from 800 grade to 1000, 1250, 1500, 2000, 2500 and 3000. I then use a dremel tool and Plast X to polish the dice, making sure there are no scratches on the faces of the dice. If there is I'll go back to the sandpaper for that dice. I also use a toothpick to clean out the numbers from any polish or sanding residue.

This is just my process and it is quite long and a bit tedious. But when you pull a set out of the mold and then see it at its end result... it's a great feeling.

If you need me to go in depth on anything, please let me know! I'm more than happy to help in any way I can!!!

#dnd #dice #dice making #dice making process #how to

[mypsychoticmoodboard]

April 6th, 2024

I often think about the Ernest Hemingway quote, "There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a type writer and bleed." And I do think that is the easy part. It is when you get to the point where you are trying to make sense of all of that bleeding where it gets messy. The words will come out, but they do not always make sense. That is where I am at right now.

I am 375 pages into a novel that I have been working on for the better part of 9 years now. Since it was written throughout the years, some of the writing is out of touch with who I am now, and since I never took the time to really read it through in its entirety until now, I am finding that there are plot holes that need filling. This weekend was the perfect opportunity for me to take some time to fill those plot holes, but I just do not have the bandwidth right now.

And these changes are happening slowly. I am taking the time to write for maybe an hour or so a day, and over time it will get done. I took a step back to take the pressure off of myself, but I was just born with a 'too much' gene. I want to throw myself into it. Get lost. Do nothing but write, edit, and polish this thing. All the while, I am feeling like I need to stand back and get some perspective. So I am going with the original plan. Have fun. Take my time. It will be done when it is done.

I am trying to get better about trusting in the process too. I am just such a control freak. I want to know all of the pesky details, so I can try to micromanage them.

On another note, I am feeling the pressure at work. I hate my job, and there is no other way around it. I try to be nice and say that I like the people I work with. I do not. I would not be friends with any of them in my personal life. They make my job way more complicated than it needs to be with their inability to make decisions quickly. And it has been eating at me slowly for some years now. Years.

If I had it my way, my full time job would be writing. Just writing. I feel entitled to that too. Why am I not being given the opportunity to have that? And the thing is, that I will, just not now. But like I said, at my core I am an impatient control freak. I want it to happen on my time, and that time is now.

Me leaving this job has to be timed correctly too. I keep seeing videos of people being like "no job is worth your mental health". All the while that is true, I also need to make a living. I like living in a nice apartment, and I like being able to pay my bills. Hopefully I am teaching myself some grit by staying with this bogus job for the time being.

I am going on vacation at the end of May, so I am waiting for that to be over with, and then I am giving myself the permission to leave. That is when I will begin my quest into really looking into new jobs. My next frontier is out there, and I will find it. It is just looking a little stormy right now.

(***Self harm trigger warning***)

On a last and more morbid note, when I am finding that I am getting very sad, I am feeling the urge to hurt myself again. I used to cut myself for a few years, and it was a way that I could get my aggression and sadness out. And the worst part of it all, is that I liked it. I liked cleaning up the blood afterward, and I liked how the cuts burned in the shower afterward. It felt like the manifestation of my mental pain in the physical realm. It was putting a name to the face.

I will never, ever go back to that. And that I know for sure, but to have those urges come up makes me realize that those pesky thoughts will linger until the end of time. You never really officially get over anything; it just becomes easier to deal with.

And I have just been thinking about it more because I have been getting quite a few tattoos within the last 6 months, and the sensation is similar but not the same to cutting myself. And I like it. But at least with this, I am getting art on my body instead of scars that take years to fade, but never even go away completely.

This was long-winded, but it just feels like I am standing at the precipice of change. I am no longer fighting the winds of change. I am going to let them carry me--the best that I can.

#dear diary

[jimbleswrites]

"And then, I found the church."

A/N: This is a backstory for my current D&D character, Judge. They are a warforged paladin, and this is the story of how they started this journey. The only real context is that this is in the eberron setting, and is after the Mourning.

Judge sat in silence. The wind blew through the trees as they sat just off the path of the main entrance to New Cyre. There was a faint background noise as they sat there, people bustling about and moving things around. The camp was still in its early phases, with people resting in temporary tents outside the few buildings in this town. Judge was currently on guard duty, watching the roads into town. There weren't any real threats, just more refugees looking for a place to rest. The war was over, but things would not be back to normal for a long time.

Judge looked down at the axe and shield strapped to his pack. The ax’s blade was sharpened and cleaned, and the wooden shield was recently polished. Judge normally had to clean his weapons regularly, but now they stay strapped to their pack like novelties. These weapons once had a definite purpose, to help Cyre win a war. But now, there was no Cyre. Judge thought back to the mourning as they watched the road. They was a moment of peace as they captured fort zombie, then a mist rolled in from nowhere. It seemed harmless at first, then the magic effects took hold. Some people transformed into creatures, others simply fell over and never got up.

Judge looked into a small puddle next to them, with their reflection staring back. It was the same stern expression they always wore, but the crystals in their eyes were dimmer than they once were. Judge found their new freedom to be boring. With no war, Judge was now without a purpose. Sure, other warforged they had fought with had no issue moving to other work, but Judge found other work to be too mundane. It was busywork that let their mind wander to the purpose they used to have, and made Judge unsure of what the rest of their life would be.

“Excuse me! Is this New Cyre?” The question caught Judge off-guard, with them quickly looking back to the road. There was a group of 4 people, 3 in simple brown robes and one girl in a red hood in front.

“Yes. I apologize for being distracted.” Judge straightened up, their deadpan tone contrasting the bubbly voice she had.

The girl smiled. “No problem, we were just looking to speak with Oargev. Do you know where he normally is?” She bounced in place as she spoke, clearly ready to go.

“There is a city hall just a mile down this street. There are plenty of signs to guide you, should you get lost.” Judge pointed to a cluster of buildings past the farmland.

The girl laughed, which confused Judge. “Ok, thank you!” She exclaimed as she ran by, followed by the other people. Judge wasn’t sure why she had laughed at them, but they shrugged it off. People had always acted a little strange around Judge, maybe because they were a Warforged or maybe because their voice was more impassive than the normal person’s. Judge sat alone with their thoughts, waiting for the guard change as they watched the empty road.

***

The next guard came by after a few hours, letting Judge go back into town. Judge didn’t have any plans for the rest of the day. With no need to drink, eat, or sleep, a lot of time normal people spent fueling and resting was free time for Judge. They decided to go to the local tavern to look over the bounty board again. It was empty this morning, but maybe something came up while Judge was on guard duty. They passed by the various tents and buildings on their way, with people buzzing about. The whole town was in the process of expansion with the new refugees flowing in, so there was always some construction or some new face for people to deal with. Judge worked their way through the bustle, approaching the Second Chance tavern.

It was a small place, just with simple food and drink, but it also currently held a large board for jobs and help. Judge walked through the open door frame, to see the barmaid wiping down the counter and no one else inside. They crossed the dirt floor, approaching the board.

“Don’t bother, no one has come by today.” The barmaid yelled from across the place. She seemed annoyed as she continued to clean. “I swear, you just come in to kick up dirt and take the jobs before anyone else.” She pointed her rag at Judge as she ranted. “You don’t even order anything, you freeloader.”

Judge didn’t consider this to be freeloading, but she had a point. They never ordered anything there, just came for jobs. Maybe this could help them kill time. They approached the bar and sat uncomfortably on the wobbly stool.

“My apologies. Please let me order one drink.” They asked, awkwardly hunched over the bar.

“Didn’t realize you guys ate and drank.” The barmaid scoffed, quickly pouring a pale ale into a tankard and sliding it over. Judge put down some coins, and sipped their drink. It was weak, mostly water but had some bitter aftertaste. Judge quietly sat there, sipping their ale. This just made Judge feel more empty. They sat there for a while until someone sat down at a stool next to them.

“Can I get a drink please?” The voice sounded familiar. Judge looked over to see the same girl from earlier, red hood down as she got her ale. Her blond hair was cut short, barely covering her ears. She sighed, clearly upset with something. She looked over to the hulking construct next to her. “Oh hey! You’re that warforged at the gate!” She said, grinning.

“Yes. My name is Judge. I was on guard duty.” Judge replied.

“I’m Vesperia Song! Nice to officially meet you.” She held out her hand, and Judge shook it gently. “I came in with the other friars, but they didn’t want to see the camp, so I’m exploring it myself!” Her excitement was obvious, even as she grimaced through her drink.

“Friars? Are you part of a church?” Judge asked. Several people of faith had come through New Cyre for reasons of their own, but normally they were older people, looking to set up churches or temples in the new area. This girl seemed much younger than her peers, and more energetic as well.

“Yeah, me and the others are part of the church of the silver flame. We were sent out to tell people about the church and all that.” She looked down into her drink, clearly thinking about something.

Judge pondered this. “This must be an important task to the church. It is a compliment that they would trust you with this mission.” They said, hoping to ease her mind.

“I guess…” Vespira sighed. “Sometimes I feel like… I dunno…” She trailed off, kicking her feet against the stool. “Can I ask you a personal question?” She randomly asked.

Judge nodded. Vespira looked up into their eyes. “Are you religious?”

Judge paused, thinking. “I guess not. I never had to consider it during the war.”

Vespira looked confused. “Never considered it? It never came across your mind?”

“I was a soldier. I was given orders and I followed them. Any free time I had, I trained to be a better fighter. That was my purpose.” Judge explained.

“How about now?” Vespira pushed on, waving down the bartender for another ale.

“I… do not know.” Judge answered honestly.

Vespira smiled as the bartender dropped off 2 more ales. “That’s OK.” She sipped one and slid the other towards Judge. “To be honest, I struggle with my faith too.”

Judge was surprised to hear a friar say this. “But it is your purpose. Why wouldn’t you feel reassured?”

“I guess it’s the difference between us.” Vespira clinked her glass against Judge’s arm, with a metallic thud. “You were built and given a purpose. I was born and had to find one.” She pulled a small stuffed rabbit out from her travel pack. It was a ragged thing, with old worn fabric and dulled buttons. Vespira pointed to several burn marks on it. “When I was really young, My village was attacked by bandits. Everyone was attacked and scattered, and I barely made it out. Just me and my stuffed buddy here.” Vespira pushed the animal into Judge’s arm, leaning it against it. “Eventually I found a traveling caravan, and after a lot of moving around, I found the church. But now, they just send me to wander the world and tell people about the silver flame. I just wonder how much good this really does.” She had slumped down, chin against the bar as she spoke.

Judge looked down at the rabbit against his arm. This woman had clearly been in dire straits, and was looking for some resolve, but Judge wasn’t sure how to reciprocate. He found emotions unwieldy, and was normally very reserved. But Judge did know a little about the church of the silver flame, and he did have an idea.

“Your church has a group of people for dealing with monsters, correct?”

Vespira sighed. “The Templars, yeah.”

“Are you proficient in battle?”

Vespira looked up, confused. “I know some magic, but that’s nothing special.”

Judge nodded. “Maybe a change in your duties would help. I normally found that a new mission brought new challenges to overcome.”

“That seems dangerous. But there is a contract for some monsters nearby we were going to call in.” Vespira perked up, but then got sad again. “But I can’t do it by myself, that’s too much.”

“I will help you with this.” Judge gently put a hand on her shoulder. “Between the two of us, we will complete the contract.” To Judge, this was a win-win. They got a job to slay monsters, and Vespira would see a new experience, which would help her with her struggle.

Vespira smiled. “Alright, we’ll give it a shot.”

***

The night seemed to move by quickly after that, with Vespira and Judge agreeing to meet in the morning. Vespira disappeared to rest up, and Judge took time to clean his weapons and armor. They were both excited to get out there, and the journey was simple. They spoke about the specifics as they walked. There was a group of bandits stealing from merchants moving to and from New Cyre. Those that managed to get away told the local guards that they were using undead to ambush them a few miles up the road. The town wanted to send someone out, but couldn’t spare anyone from the guard. Vespira tuned her fiddle as she talked about her bardic magic, Judge listening intently as they approached the area.

The last attack was at a crossroads, with some sign of the struggle still there. A broken wagon had been dragged off to the side of the road, with nothing left inside. The report from the guard specified that a caravan leaving New Cyre left with a few people, and only one made it back to the town. Judge quickly surveyed the wreckage, looking for trails leading away from the site. There was no obvious evidence, and with the crossroads right there, the footsteps were too plentiful to pinpoint any specific path.

“The area is too well-traveled to track them by footsteps.” Judge said aloud. “Maybe we could comb over the nearby woods.” Judge turned back to sing Vesperia staring at a bird’s nest in a nearby tree. She watched intently as the bluebird hopped along the branch, picking at a bug nearby.

“I bet he knows something.” Vesperia quickly chanted something, moving her hands in a rhythmic fashion, with a flash of magic bouncing between her hands. Judge realized she must be using magic to speak with this animal. Vesperia waved to the bird, grabbing its attention. “Hi! Do you know what happened to the people in this wagon?” The bird chirped back, swinging its head towards the woods nearby. “OK, thanks!” Vesperia turned back to Judge. “They were taken to the woods there, but they didn't see where.”

Judge nodded. “Speak with animals? This will be useful if we encounter more dead-ends.” Judge began to walk forward into the woods, with Vesperia skipping along behind. The forest here was dense with apple trees, and plenty of smaller plants covering the ground.

Vesperia grabbed an apple and began to dig in. “So, do you enjoy hunting monsters?” she said between bites.

“I am very good at fighting.” Judge responded, still focused on looking for a trail to pick up.

“Yeah, you said that already. But do you enjoy it?” She persisted.

Judge stopped for a moment. It was like asking a cauldron if they like making potions, or asking a spellbook if they liked magic. “I was designed for this. Fighting enemies and protecting people are my purpose.” Judge replied. They continued to walk as they continued.

“Come on, I opened up about my fears. I can tell you have more to say.” Vesperia retorted, tossing the apple core to the side.

Judge considered this. Maybe talking with someone could help. “I am not good with emotions. However, you are right. I am afraid of something.” Judge turned back to look at Vesperia’s face. “I worry if I do not have a purpose, I am expendable.” Vesperia looked on with big eyes, waiting for Judge to continue. “My purpose is over. I am not used to making big decisions. That was a job for a general or my superior officer. But now… I am in charge. And I am afraid of making a bad choice.”

Vesperia looked upset, empathic to Judge's struggle. Before she could say anything, voices could be heard in the distance, coming closer. Judge pulled Vesperia behind him, and crouched low into the brush.

A few bodies came out of the trees, showing a figure in a patchwork cloak followed by two undead bodies holding a chest. The figure was speaking into a sending stone, laughing about something. “Alright, I’ll be back in a second.” he laughed, putting the stone away and coming to a stop at a nearby tree. He didn’t seem to notice Judge or Vesperia, and quickly moved a blanket of moss to the side, uncovering a trapdoor. He descended down, followed by the undead servants.

Judge slowly stood up once the people were gone, with Vesperia still behind him. Judge pulled out his ax and shield, ready to follow. He turned to Vesperia, only to see her moving past them to the trapdoor. She pulled the door open, looking down into the tunnel. Judge stood next to her, staring into the unknown. Vesperia nervously pulled out her fiddle, shaking as she did.

Judge looked over as she did, noticing no other weapons on her. “You did not bring a weapon?” he questioned.

“Didn’t think about it until now.” Vesperia stammered, her fiddle making small noises as her shaky hands kept touching it.

Judge pulled out a small tube from their pack, handing it to her. “This is a javelin. Pull the pin here to expand it to full size. While it’s meant for throwing, it will serve as a decent staff if needed.” they explained. They put a hand on her shoulder as she pocketed the javelin. “Do not worry. This is what I was designed for.” Judge took the lead, walking down the stairs, with Vesperia following behind.

The tunnel was decently lit, with lanterns on wooden supports lining the small hall. The two followed the path for a short while, eventually finding an open area with the person from earlier. Judge stayed out of view, holding Vesperia behind them, listening to their conversation.

“You only got one chest? We ain’t gonna have enough for the boss!” A human holding a crossbow was arguing with the cloaked figure they had seen earlier.

“We’ll get enough, I just have to grab the next poor sap who comes by and shake em down.” The cloaked figure removed their hood, revealing a half-elf with burns across his face. He pointed to a large pile of chests and various stolen items, surrounded by four undead servants. The two continued to argue about what to do, as Judge turned to Vesperia.

“I can take a head-on approach to these bandits, but you are not a fighter. Perhaps you can stay back and provide ranged support.” Judge offered.

“Yeah, I know some spells to help, but I'll need to play my fiddle to focus.” Vesperia took a deep breath and began to play, an energetic song that filled the cave. The six foes in the cave began to glow with a violet outline, with them confused at the blinding lights and song that surrounded them.

Judge walked around from the corner, brandishing their ax.”This is your warning. Surrender now, and no one is hurt.” they announced. The two figures quickly dove away, with the undead running forward. The song continued as Judge began their assault, cleaving into the undead. The zombies swung wildly at Judge, but to no avail. Judge was in their element, blocking the swings with his shield and swinging back with the ax. The first undead fell, cut in half as Judge shoved back another with their shield. The second collapsed into shambles after being shoved into a wall. Judge slammed their ax into the head of the third undead, swinging it into the fourth, dealing with both in one move. Judge then turned to the bandits, only to be hit with a black beam of enervating energy. The half-elf had shot a ray of enfeeblement, sapping away Judge’s strength.

“You’re kidding me, who sent the living weapon for a couple of bandits like us?” He screamed, trying to put more distance between himself and Judge. Judge felt weaker, but was still able to fight. They moved closer to the wizard, swinging their ax and missing. The half-elf used this miss to summon necromantic magic into their hand, pushing it directly into Judge’s chest. Judge yelled as this magic wracked through their body, inflicting wounds all over their body. Judge kneeled over, feeling close to passing out.

The half-elf smirked as he walked past the warforged. “Guess I overreacted. Just a hunk of metal after all.” Judge tried to stand but found his strength sapped.

“Look who else I found.” The other foe, the human, had disappeared in the struggle and found Vesperia, now holding her at bowpoint. Vesperia struggled, trying to escape. Judge felt despair as they watched Vesperia being hurt by their actions.

“Perfect, we can ransom her off for the rest of the money we need.” The half-elf laughed as he pulled out a small dagger.

Judge wobbled, then stood up shakily. “Your fight is with me. You leave her alone.”

“No, I think you’ll leave us alone. Or else your little friend here is hurt.” He pointed the dagger at Vesperia.

“You think that will stop them?” Vesperia stammered. She was fumbling in her belt as she spoke. “We are Templars of the Silver Flame, and we will always fight evil.” Judge felt inspired, and felt a presence of something, as their armor began to smoke, a silvery mist emitting from the metals that protected them. Judge realized this was the power of the silver flame itself, and felt reinvigorated.

Out of instinct, Judge pointed to the wizard. “Approach.” Judge commanded, magic flowing from their voice. The half-elf walked forward, fighting his own body as he approached the warforged. Vesperia took the opportunity to surprise the human holding her, unfurling the javelin and stabbing it into his foot, breaking herself free. He tried to grab her again, only to meet the other end of the javelin as she slammed it into his face.

The wizard finally stopped taking steps, only to be face to face to Judge. The warforged was like a wall of metal and armor, smoking with a silvery mist, staring down on him with yellowed crystal eyes.

“You will surrender now, or I will end this.” Judge stated. It was a simple demand, but effective.

“Alright, you win.” The half-elf conceited. “I surrender.”

***

The journey back was simple after the encounter. Judge and Vesperia led the criminals back to New Cyre, and handed them off to the guards. Vesperia told the other friars what had happened, and they were happy that the threat was dealt with. They were leaving soon for another settlement nearby, and it was time for things to continue onward. Judge decided to see them off, and wanted to speak to Vesperia one last time.

“Vesperia, I wanted to thank you for letting me help with this contract. I hope you also got some sense of purpose from this.” Judge bowed his head in gratitude.

“Maybe not the way I thought though…” Vesperia responded. “I’m no fighter, but I appreciate learning first-hand how dangerous things can get.” She held out the javelin. “But what will you do now?”

Judge closed her hand. “Keep the javelin. I have decided to travel to the church of the silver flame and learn more about becoming a templar. This seems to be a good fit for me.”

Vesperia smiled. “I think that’s a great idea.” She began to turn, then quickly grabbed something out of her pack and tossed it to Judge. Judge caught it, and found it to be the stuffed rabbit that Vesperia had showed them earlier.

“Why are you giving this to me?” Judge tried to hand it back, only for Vesperia to close their hand.

“A reminder. It will give you bravery when you need it, and I don't need it anymore. I’m not afraid of anything if you’re out there fighting evil.” Vesperia smiled.

Judge nodded. “Then this will be my oath.” Judge held the rabbit to their chest as they spoke. “I vow to fight evil, by any means necessary, and help those affected by their evil misdeeds.”

Vesperia was grinning ear-to-ear. “Then when we meet again, I want to hear all the stories of evil you’ve stopped and people you’ve helped.” The wagon began to pull away, and Vesperia waved as they moved on to another village in need. Judge waved, then attached the rabbit to their pack. They turned to the other trail, ready to go. Flamekeep was a long walk from here, and who knows what would be on the horizon?

#writing #fiction #dungeons & dragons #eberron

[randonato]

Game Idea

Randomization - Colour Catcher

This section provides you with an opportunity to reflect on the new skills you have learnt on this project. You should outline the knowledge, skills and understanding you have acquired. Explain how this has influenced your choice of discipline or disciplines and your project proposal. It also provides an opportunity for you to explain your reasons for choosing a particular discipline or disciplines and to outline both your immediate and longer-term aspirations.

I have previously learnt and used 2D art in most of my projects - I feel more confident with my abilities in 2D art, opposed to 3D.

I have acquired the understanding of how to properly code the 2D assets and sprites in Unreal Engine.

I will have to experiment with different styles to find out which would be more suitable to my game. For example, I could either have 2D pixel art, or just 2D art. I could also include or not include outlines on the objects.

In my previous 2D project, I had spawn points where enemies spawned and came towards the player - I could either use this type of object spawning, or use the random spawn area which I recently learned to make in Unreal.

I will also experiment with different HUD layouts and ways to add score to the counter.

In one of my 2D projects, which was my favourite, I had a leaderboard that the player could enter their name into, I could implement that into this project.

This section provides an opportunity for you to clearly explain the concept and aims of your project and highlight the research and ideas that will support its development. What you anticipate producing, the processes and how randomization will be presented through your idea. This might include an indication of how you will use your specialist area to achieve your goals.

The player controls a small character at the bottom of the screen, and the goal is to catch falling objects of different colours while avoiding incorrect ones.

Objects of various colours fall from the top of the screen towards the bottom and each object will have a specific colour. The player will have a box, which is a random colour at the start of the game, which will determine the colour that the player will have to catch. 

If the player catches the incorrect colour, they will lose a life - the player will have three lives.

The objects that are falling from the top of the screen will be of random sizes and shapes to make it more likely to mess up and catch the wrong colour, making the game slightly harder and more exciting.

The objects that the player will be catching will also be random colours and will also spawn from random points on the screen, meaning that the players will have to move the box to catch the objects - potentially missing out on catching the other falling objects and increasing the risk of them catching incorrect objects while moving. 

I aim to make a well designed  starting screen for this game because I quite enjoyed how my other screen looked in my previous 2D project. Also, I will probably focus on the 2D art in this project and getting it looking clean and polished.

[eponymousfics]

Just some personal anecdotal rambling while I take a break from cleaning about homesickness and writing:

(Under a cut bc it’s basically a personal essay lol)

I started writing Alola Again back in late 2021 (I think?) because the pandemic meant that my yearly visits back home had been on hold, and the yearning to go home was even stronger because of the general fear and anxiety of the whole situation.

I mean, it actually started because I decided to finally 100% my Alola ‘dex, since I’d sunk 1000+ hours into Animal Crossing: New Horizons at that point and needed a different game. Then Guzma suddenly hit a blorbo sweet spot in my head that had previously not existed (or had been entirely occupied by Nanu. I am a ‘cynical old man with a heart of gold he does his best to hide’ enjoyer).

I haven’t done a full reread of AA since fully uploading it, but I’ve gone back to some of the earlier chapters and listened back to a lot of my writing process voice memos, where I rambled to myself for collective hours trying to hash out plot details or pacing and character development etc.

I think looking back on it, I can safely say that fic would not have happened without the pandemic. That type of deep, concentrated homesickness that was the root and driving force behind its inception and execution was uniquely a result of quarantine isolation and the fact that I knew it wasn’t safe to travel home, and possibly wouldn’t be for a long time.

I already kind of knew this, because I wound up with the chance to go home in spring of 2022, when I had almost finished the fic but had a few more chapters left of the final draft to work out.

The INSTANT I was home, the tensed up spring of energy and need that had been pushing me along to make NaNoWriMo numbers every month for six months just…evaporated. And it was hard picking the fic back up again afterward. I couldn’t work on it much at all while I was home, which you’d think would be the opposite, since I could do ‘on location’ research, so to speak.

But AA is honestly so much more of the romanticized and idealized memory of my childhood and what I wish it could have been (much in the same way Alola itself is a very clean and idealized version of Hawaii, honestly almost pure tourist vision. Backed by real elements and actual research in places, yes, but also so carefully not mentioning/keeping out of frame the colonization and genocide of native culture while still presenting the polished version of the current state, which is entirely the result of those historical atrocities. Which, I can see why and how that happened, but I still have complicated mixed feelings over it and how much I enjoy the game despite that, and frankly in some ways because of it) that it became almost impossible to hold onto the dream that it was when sitting squarely in the middle of the reality it was based on.

As messy as things got because narratives need conflict, Mahina’s homecoming to Alola was everything I desperately wished my own could be. It’s simpler and easier because I have control over every element of it. All the emotional conflict happens on my terms because I’m the writer, I get to choose which emotional complications I want to examine and which I want to quietly pretend don’t exist.

And I get to see them all resolved, and have love and joy and humor thrown in to make it all palatable and worth it. It is baked with my baggage, it’s possibly more revealing than I should let anything put on the Internet be.

But I think a lot of fanfic is like that, and while there are a lotttt of technical flaws that I see now even just skimming over it in passing, the core of the story and the characters, the core of what it became, is still something I’m proud of.

And the fact that it’s finished, of course. Whatever else, it’s the first piece of long form writing that I’ve stuck to through multiple drafts to bring to completion. Is it perfect? No. Is it popular? No. Is it finished? Yes, and that’s important. For me, anyway.

Anyway, I’ve just had a lot of this on my mind because I’m home again, and slowly warming up to the idea of finally getting started on a sequel, which was always in the drafts but I needed space from it to even consider making a start. And because that deep down, bottom-of-the-soul homesickness is no longer gnawing at my every fiber. Whatever fuels the sequel, it won’t be that. I’ll have to attach a new anxiety onto it, I guess.

I think it did help me understand how to make these visits back home, though. Every time before had been fraught with tension between family members and an unnamed dissatisfaction because the reality of home couldn’t live up to the idealized yearning in my heart, but this trip…it’s been much easier.

I think the impromptu nature of it is helping. Originally, I wasn’t supposed to be here for three more weeks, but Circumstances(tm) dictated otherwise and I last-minute moved up my flight. Maybe I just didn’t have time to build up unrealistic expectations for it. Maybe I was just so depressed that the change of scenery has boosted me enough so I can just chill.

I don’t know what it is, probably a combination. But considering how I use fic as a big bandaid solution to not being able to afford therapy, well, I’ll probably wind up exploring it more in future writing. Whether that’ll be in the sequel to Alola Again or something else, we’ll see.

#epon rambles #eponbehindthescenes #alola again #sorry for the deeply personal philosophizing but this IS a blog so not sorry lol