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blorbologist · 1 year

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15 questions/15 people

Got tagged by @lumiereandcogsworth <33 ty! just the distraction I needed!

1. are you named after anyone? Yes, twice over! The Maggie part of my name comes from my mother’s grandmother, Margaret. There’s also a second part to my name I get from my father’s mother. (Fun fact, my brother’s got a name that’s been used for... I think four-five generations at this point KNTRKRTN The name I know my dad by is technically a middle name of his!)

2. when was the last time you cried? Oooofff... hmm. I think watching The end of Campaign 1 [TLOVM people do not click]. Especially the twins bit was my last really big cry. I teared up for TLOVM s2 eps 3 and 4 a lil, but that was just. full gross sobs.

3. do you have kids? Nope! Cats don’t count. I am responsible for 40 corn snakes though :D

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? Oh, yes.

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people? Hmmmmm I’m... not sure? Generally any big identifying features that aren’t eyes. So hair color, tats, silhouette. And even then I suck at identifying people, whoops.

6. what’s your eye color? Blue! They lean towards blue-grey most of the time, but as is the nature of Eyebols they can vary depending on lighting. Not very saturated blues usually, though - leaning slate, darker blue and even soft greenish sometimes. Another fun fact: neither of my parents have blue eyes, so I’m a fun lil recessive trait lucky shot in this way.

7. scary movie or happy endings? Happy endings! I’m a huge coward and cannot watch scary stuff.

8. any special talents? UHHHH writing a super massive longfic has got to count? I can draw decently good, and animate a lil if I have the time for it. wtf qualifies as a special talent uhhhh I know so much shit about dinosaurs you wouldn’t believe it? I apparently have a knack for experimental design, but we’ll see how that develops. I can belch very loud semi-on-command??!?

9. where were you born? Québec! [gonna add the accent on mobile it feels Sinful not having it there].

10. what are your hobbies? Writing, poking at worldbuilding/AUs and meta, drawing rarely, D&D [my lil lv1 D&D1E Cleric might die next session :D], listening to podcasts while I code data.

11. do you have any pets? Yes! Two young cats (Miss Thing and Pam, short for A Mistake or Something and Dopamine respectively) and Crumble, my beardie <33 getting on in years a lil ;;

12. what sports do you play/have you played? not much of a sport person - as a kid I was always the one coming in last on every athletics test. Thankfully my peers usually treated me like a charming class pet instead of bullying me for it, but over two decades in and doctors still haven’t figured out what the fuck is wrong so all physical activity is. eurg.

13. how tall are you? 5′4″!

14. favorite subject in school? take a wild guess - science. Though I only got biology classes in CEGEP, given the pure and applied sciences stream meant taking chem and physics instead :C Drama ended up being a surprising favorite, too, I initially thought I was gonna hate it. Art class was mildly stressful needing to adhere to the deadlines and follow the instructions, but drama? Drama was a fucking blast

15. dream job? sighs wistfully,,,, an academic research position... with tenure... a nice lil lab all my own... easy NSERC grants to fund my research... likely working with birds or reptile cognition. ATM I’m still figuring out exactly what I want my specialty, my niche, to be, but in the moment I’m very interested in how visible phenotype [color and pattern] interacts with the neurobiology of an animal and thus its behavior. Really wanna keep looking at species whose cognition is really overlooked, or has been in the field for a long time. I’d love to work with crocodilians or varanids sometime, or chickens!

tagging: @fatal-blow @mothmoron @cryptidfuckery @rightpastnowhere @katia-dreamer @essayofthoughts @burr-ell @romeoandjulietyouwish @ghostofwhitestone @waltwhitmansbeard @percivalium @angry-velociraptor @ anyone else who wants to be tagged because im Sleeby and going to bed and dont wanna keep looking for people to tag - nini! <3

#tag game

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theladyjssem · 8 months

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I dislike Amazon, its practises, and its general "as long as people are paying it doesn't matter" ideology. However, I do appreciate the convenience. Especially the gift lists! Adding x gift ideas to a list and people buying it without stress of what to buy is so nice! Plus, I like to add things to my husbeast's list that I know he would like that he won't think about adding. And he doesn't really look through his list anyway, so adding those surprises isn't going to ruin anything. And if he notices the added items? He doesn't mind, they are his tastes.

But I encountered a glitch with the list today/last night.

Husbeast's bday is coming up, and he asked for a new "toy" (leaving it at that) as a bday present idea before bed last night. I didn't mind the idea and, in a half-asleep state cause I could not sleep, so I might as well gift shop for my beloved husbeast, I found a toy! A good toy that I thought suited what he was after. I looked at the lists cause I knew most were shared and wanted to save the toy idea for later. My husbeast's list said "Private" and I, in my sleepy fugue state, thought "oh! He hasn't shared his list with his family! I can add this to his list and maybe find some more later!"

I was wrong.

Why it was labelled private when it was, in fact, shared, I do not know. But I was fixing my husbeast lunch today, and all of a sudden, he asks, "Did you add a sex toy to my list? Cause my mum is asking." Now his mum is chill, good humoured and might tease a bit but otherwise doesn't care about such things (she literally collects bodice rippers and used to share the really good ones with both of us occasionally). Still mildly embarrassing, and I admit I did as he's snickering. I already plan on removing said toy from his list and maybe making a new list that's strictly private, but go back to fixing his lunch.

Then I hear, "Bro has also seen it and is apparently in stitches." Now my husbeast's bro isn't a bad guy, he's a bit of a pushover for his partner/fiancé and let's her get away with too much, but gets on well with husbeast and adores the kiddos. We're on decent terms despite some issues going down atm. But he is also rather hetereonormative, strictly cis, and used to make fun of the husbeast when he admitted he was comfy in a dress, and this toy was meant for butt play for the husbeast... I removed the toy from the liat as soon as I finished fixing husbeast's lunch, but we both know it is going to be brought up at a later date...

Embarrassed right now, but honestly, why is the list considered private if it is, in fact, shared??? And I will have to figure out how to save that toy, and anything else like that, in a list that won't be so obvious as it turns out Amazon's "private" lists are if everyone is using the same account >.<

#ladyjssem speaks #oopsie #mild nsfwish

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an-ambivalent · 4 years

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WARNING: This post contains yandere and violent themes (mentions of murder and brainwashing) and other toxic and creepy behaviours that can be triggering and uncomfortable to read. So read at your own risk. This work is purely fictional. I do not condone this toxic behaviour irl.

Fandom: Naruto

Pairings: Itachi x Reader | Shisui x Reader | Sasuke x Reader

Status: Headcanons and scenarios mixed hybrid, requested.

Ask: Scenario where Yandere!Itachi, Yandere!Shisui, Yandere!Sasuke and Yandere!Obito realizes that they all have feelings for you and since they're family, they decided that they are going to share.

A/N: I’m didn’t add Obito to this scenario because I don’t see this dynamic working with him in the mix. Although Obito is an Uchiha, frankly speaking, Itachi didn’t ever trust him. Sasuke used him for his own means didn’t care about him other than that either way. As far as Shisui is concerned, he never really interacted with Obito.

Itachi and Shisui are best friends, and Itachi and Sasuke are siblings (who do care for each other). Sasuke is stubborn about his own ideals but he can still be persuaded by Itachi, and given that Itachi and the Uchiha clan respected Shisui a lot, Sasuke would do too. So, a dynamic with these three choosing to co-operate is plausible. But with Obito.... not really. I just don’t see how he would fit in this scenario. So, hopefully this explanation clarifies why Obito wasn’t added to the scenario.

No beta, we die like men. I wrote this at like 2 am so idgaf about grammar errors atm ^.<

Your background: To be in a position where you can interact with all these three simultaneously, you would have to be part of the Uchiha clan yourself. The only other way might be that you’re Itachi’s classmate and progressed exactly like he did. But then, it just feels like copying and pasting Itachi’s character and that’s no fun.

No ‘duplicate version of another character’ in this household. So there’s two choices for your background that can nonetheless lead to the same scenario. Thus, you can choose whatever floats your boat: 1) you’re the first daughter of the main branch of another clan of your choice, and for some time now, your clan and the Uchiha clan have been planning to form an alliance together. What better way to do that than to arrange a marriage between the two first children of the main branch from both clans that “coincidentally” have to be the same age?

2) You’re an Uchiha child, born to parents who are from one of the side branches of the clan. There isn’t many other kids to interact with, and despite being a side branch member, your father is one of the most respected shinobi in the clan. So, your future as a ninja is given, and with his interactions and meetings with Fugaku, he takes you along with him. As a result, your introduction with Itachi is inevitable. And so by extension, you will also meet Shisui and Sasuke. And given your father’s good relationship with Fugaku, mayhaps your parents went ahead and arranged your marriage with Itachi behind your back and not notifying you yet.

PSA: For the age balance, you are Itachi’s age in this scenario. Shisui is 2-4 years older than Itachi and Itachi is 4 years older than Sasuke. Having a maximum of 8 years age gap if you were Sasuke’s age, or Shisui’s age, would be a lot LOL. Besides, Itachi would be the mediator between Sasuke and Shisui, so you building a relationship with him first makes the most sense.

Introduction / Meeting

Itachi

You and Itachi are forced to spend time together as ‘playmates’ while your parents discuss ‘official business’ (the arrange marriage) with Fugaku and Mikoto. Itachi is overly polite but there’s an icy coldness underlining his polite greetings and one-word answers he gives to your questions when you try to start a conversation.

You aren’t dumb. You were raised with high expectations placed on your shoulders so although you’re not a prodigy at his level, you have more than enough intelligence to know that he’s patronizing you. And unlike him, you aren’t an immature coward who hides behind their passive-aggressive remarks. Whatever you have to say, you communicate it bluntly. So, you don’t hesitate to spew out what you really think of him (a coward who takes his frustrations out on others aka you, who is also in the same situation, instead of facing his problems), and leave his pretty boy face behind in shock.

You were five when this happened.

Sasuke: Overtime, your ‘playdates’ with Itachi became a norm. You were forced to visit him many times and spend time with him given that he is your future husband. (You don’t know that yet, but at this point, Itachi has his suspicions that something is up).

His baby brother is his entire life. Sasuke makes him smile in the way no one else does, so its no wonder you met him eventually.

You were first held Sasuke was he was about fourteen months old. He was a small, chubby, innocent little thing with his already haughty attitude. He had no problem crying in the arms of the people he didn’t like, which was almost everyone outside of his immediate family. But when you held him, despite Itachi’s warnings that “he doesn’t like everyone” but he instantly liked you (much to his displeasure), you instantly became attached to him. Then in the following years, you babysat him a lot. He was the cute little younger sibling you wanted but never had, so you spoiled him to bits. And with the attention and love you gave him, Sasuke loved you too. Not to mention, unlike everyone else in his family, who picked Itachi over him, you picked him over Itachi.

How can he not fall in love with you?

Shisui: More often than not these days, Shisui would silently watch and observe Itachi. For a six years old, it was terrifying for him how he was already adapting to the shinobi lifestyle is so easily; being an emotionless robot and extremely talented.

But, over the past few days, gone were the seemingly emotionless robot. Instead, he had changed into a boy who acted like how a six year old was supposed to act: whiny, pouty, and frustrated (to an extent), but happy at the same time. It was entertaining for him to watch Itachi’s expressions shift from one to another every moment as he grumbled about you underneath his breath. Shisui was ready to tease him about it, but you had beat him to it.

You had appeared out of nowhere and were hosting the two-years-old Sasuke on your shoulders for a piggy back ride. No one was given any time to react, before rude remarks were slipping out your lips that just humiliated his precious friend into a fumbling mess.

Itachi had tried to get back at you, he really did. But your mouth ran like a sailor and you had a witty remark prepared for everything. It was such a contrast to the “perfect princess” show you put on before your and his parents. And each time, your response was more embarrassing which eventually made him lose his cool. Seeing him flustered, despite how much he loved you, little Sasuke tried to jump to his nii-san’s aid. Shisui was prepared to snicker and chuckle to himself, if he it wasn’t for the most beautiful sound he had ever heard: your laughter. It was so raw, pure, genuine and innocent, he was instantly immersed. Barely anyone from shinobi clans, and given how they were raised, acted so open. And you brought out a different side to Itachi -- it was intriguing for him to witness.

He wanted to get to know you more. He wanted to hear your life more. He wanted you to share your secrets with him on how to bully Itachi so easily. So immediately, he put out his hand and gave you a wide grin.

“I’m Shisui. What’s your name?”

Realising their feelings

Shisui: Shisui knew he loved you ever since your first laugh. It was love at first sound. However, with the respect to you belonging to his best friend, he would never make a move on you.

Maybe, there might be some lingering touches here and there that lasted a bit too long between ‘friends.’ Maybe sometimes he was harsher on you during your training spars so he would have an excuse to touch you and help you bandage up your injuries. Maybe sometimes, he ‘jokingly’ wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed your cheek to ‘get a rise out of Itachi’ and not because he wanted to touch you.

But he never made a move on you because he knew you were Itachi’s. And as long as you were still his friend and spent time with him, he didn’t care too much.

But he should’ve known better. Just as how he can understand Itachi and cares for him like he is his brother, Itachi is the same towards Shisui. He knew how Shisui felt about you, and although one part of him just wanted to you have all to himself, it didn’t feel right that Shisui had to hold himself back when he needed you too. If only, it wasn’t for your clan, and the Uchiha, and their damn village that believed in monogamous relationships, then he would happily share you with Shisui.

Itachi: There were many rules and obligations Itachi has to adhere to due to his clan. Although he did them, he didn’t want to. He hated it. His thoughts were different from his actions so he was constantly experiencing cognitive dissonance. But, you weren’t part of that. For some reason, when he was eleven and his suspicions were confirmed by his parents and the clan elders that you were set up to wed him when you both turn thirteen, that was one thing he didn’t hate or didn’t want to do. In fact, it was alarming for everyone in the meeting how easily he obliged.

Confirming how he felt towards you, it honestly did not surprise him. He had assumed this was the case for a while. Ever since you called him a coward due to his habit of upholding a facade, he tried to be more honest. Not in front of his clan, evidently, but to the people that mattered. Shisui, Sasuke, you, and himself.

The old Itachi, had he not met you and fell in love with someone, would have buried his feelings without a care. But for you.... it was a different story. He acknowledged his feelings and never tried to get rid off them. How could he? You were the perfect lover for him. You got along swimmingly with Shisui. You took good care of Sasuke, and his younger brother was so attached to you. You were an exceptional kunoichi, put up the perfect facade before your own parents and his, and weren’t afraid to challenge him and speak your mind.

And best of all? You were already promised to him. So, he saw no reason to bury his feelings for you.

Sasuke: Sasuke always knew he loved you.

Ever since he can remember, you had always been by his side no matter what.

His father didn’t pay attention to him. His mother did, but she scolded him too when he just wanted to spend time with Itachi.

Itachi spent time with him but lately, he has been ignoring him. It’s not the same. And him and Shisui always leave him behind to get things done that they say he’s “not mature enough to know.”

But Sasuke does know.

He knows what they talk about his and your back because thinks of those things too. It’s everywhere: princesses, their prince, their love story and happily ever after.

He wants to kiss you to show you how he loves you like the couples in fairy tales. He does. Despite his nerves that are causing fluttering butterflies in his tummy, he builds up the courage to have his first kiss with you.

But you’re faster than him. You just move your head so he kisses your cheek instead, and then laugh out loud before ruffling his hair and telling him, “you’re adorable. But you should save your first kiss for your true love.”

He likes being adorable for you, but why won’t you understand?! You are his first and only love.

There will be a day when you finally understand that.

Sharing You:

ok.... listen.... Uchiha clan massacre (and yours too for scenario A) but both Itachi and Shisui. And although its mission issued by the damn village, that’s not why they’re doing it. It just so happens that its the perfect solution to all their problems because they get rid off the obstacles in their way, and they will have to leave the village. They can take you away far, away from everything, so you only have them left.

Obviously, they will take Sasuke with them too. Except this time, there’s no also hurting and torturing him and enticing him to seek revenge. If anything, when Sasuke is horrified, Itachi tells him the truth. There’s lies as well, but, they would need to brainwash him to some extent so he willingly stays with them. Itachi tells him of how if the clan lived, then he would never get to be with you, or see you again because they were going to hurt you.

“Do you want that foolish little brother? You made big claims to make [Name] yours and protect her, so are you really going to mourn those who were going to take her away from you? She’s my bride, and because I care about you, I will share her. But for that to happen, you need to listen to me and Shisui and not be pathetic as to get in our way.”

Itachi had a way with his words, and it was terrifying how much they could influence Sasuke. And now that they had, and no one else was going to be in the way -- not any clans, the village -- nothing.

It is just going to be you and them for the rest of your life.

#yandere naruto #sasuke x reader #yandere x reader #uchiha x reader #yandere itachi #itachi x reader #yandere sasuke #shisui x reader #naruto imagines #yandere shisui #yandere imagines #naruto x reader #akatsuki x reader #yandere uchiha #yandere akatsuki #possessive #ambivalent writes

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babygirldennis · 3 years

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This shit is fake bby!!!

Here she is.. My masterpost of all the dumb, illogical bits of info contained within these s15 “leaks” that make me fairly confident they are complete bullshit. It also includes my little tinhat theories that have absolutely no evidence.

I will be putting it all under a Readmore in case you don't want to risk it or if you simply Do Not Care

First up, I'd like to point out that these call sheets repeatedly give very detailed backstories to characters that have few lines which conveniently paints a picture of each episode's plot. And I'm not an expert so correct me if I'm wrong, but after looking at other similar casting calls, they only ever include the demographic and necessary skills.

Basically who in their right mind would write up casting calls that give away so many spoilers? Seems like that could cause and issue if they were leaked lol. But anyway that's my 1st point. But onto the actual content

So the conceit of this episode as a whole is that during the pandemic, the gang "gamed the system" and received three (3!) Loans to start businesses that went bankrupt. One of these businesses is implied to be the one started by dee and charlie who end up selling to Qanon shaman. Already this is so impossible baby.

1. We've already seen the gang try to get a loan and it didn't work. They don't have good ideas. Ur telling me, they managed to finagle 3 separate loans for 3 separate business ideas from an actual bank?

2. Maybe I just have bad reading comprehension but how does one have a business that is both fictitious and bankrupt?

3. If the customer is supposed to be Qanon shaman, an actual real life guy, why are the only descriptors white and male? They say he's shirtless so are they going to paint on all of the tattoos he has? And if so, doesn't that kind of ruin the dramatic reveal when charlie "throws in" the viking helmet? Why would he do that anyways? Sus.

Moving on

Alright this episode would fucking blow for obvious reasons but im going to refrain from looking at this through my gay dennis thruther lens because im biased.

Purely from a narrative standpoint, a woman hasn't been shown to be interested in dennis in nearly 5 years during the wade boggs episode. Ever since, every single woman he approaches has been actively creeped out by him. And now I'm supposed to believe that 3 "smart, passionate woman" (In Their Twenties!!!!!!) agreed to go on a date with him? And Anna even slept with him! Just because he what? Agreed with her? I'm not buyin it.

Plus the concept of this scenario lacks any potential for comedy. When iasip gets political, they always discuss a very specific topic using hyperbolic situations and flawed metaphors. If this is supposed to be a political episode, what ultimately lukewarm point would rob be trying to make here? So far we know they're ranting about

The patriarchy

Privilege

Socialism

No more personal responsibility(?)

The... nature of power in society(??)

How on earth would an episode like get approved? This shit sounds like a Ted talk. It sounds like it was written specifically to sound like a political episode so boring and pointless it would generate outrage and mile long essay posts from Tumblr users and reddit users alike. Almost like this one lol.

On a completely unrelated note, do not try and convince me that Frank "casual cock ring wearer" Reynolds is unable to perform.

Jeez this is getting out of hand fast. Let's move on

Ok now we're starting to getting into the Ireland of it all. Let me go on a bit of a tangent here about all this.. Now I thinq there are just 3 possibilities. Either this is all a publicity stunt and there is some truth to the Ireland rumors, the entire thing could be bogus from some weirdo fan (ps, if a fan did write this I want you to know I fucking hate you. You did this to me), or it is a publicity stunt but Ireland is just more bullshit.

I am going to assume it was a publicity stunt, otherwise I just wasted my entire evening and I can't have that kind of mentality rn. Additionally, I'm Going to tinhat here for a second and say that the Ireland rumors are true, but the details are different.

I say this because if they were going to do filming in Ireland, they probably figured that that information would be impossible to hide. In essence, my completely unfounded hypothesis is that this leak was their fucked up little way of controlling the situation while simultaneously messing with us.

Ok tangent is over, returning to the casting calls. From the looks of it, dee starts a "scam" acting class and has some very devoted students (Note that Tony was also the name of the porn shop owner. Seems weird!) Presumably after the gang replaces her with a monkey as the title suggests.

Honestly, there isn't too much here that's a red flag to me... seems like a nice little dee-centric episode that is the link to the Dublin angle. Assuming I am At All right, this could be a genuine plotline for Dee. However, the monkey could be a red herring and there could be a whole different side plot with the guys. who's to say. Next one!

Ah yes this is the dennis we all know and despise.. no red flags for me here really, I'm also running out of steam because idk if it shows, but I am majorly sleep deprived atm. Anyway I'm going to the next one

Okay this is where things start getting weird again ough a migraine just hit, anyway back to my earlier point about how casting calls would never contains major spoilers bc the people who see these wont be under any kind of NDA..

These ones reveal that bonnie dies. Again, that info wouldn't be in a casting call.

But also they suggest charlie has a irish penpal named Shelley who is his biological father. First off charlie is illiterate, although as pointed out by @undeadbreeze shelley could also be communicating in symbols. However, this scenario is still unbelievable to me for a couple reasons:

1. Bonnie's last name is Kelly obviously, and we know it's her maiden name because Jack's last name is also Kelly. But Shelley's last name is... also Kelly? In the context of this big ol hoax, it feels like it was written to show that look! his last name is the same as charlie's! That's how you know that's his dad! But It would be way too big of a coincidence if charlie's dad happened to have the same last name bonnie.

And 2. There's the whole mystery of charlie's long-lost sister from 'charlie got molested' but never any mention of a brother which according to this, shelley has been pretending to be his brother for years. And we all know how much rcg loves their continuity, it seems uncharacteristically lazy to just tack this on without any prior buildup.

And finally let me talk about mac for a second and specifically the line in gus's summary "both are gay men who are attracted to the priesthood for all the wrong reasons"

Iasip has commented on pedophilia in the priesthood many times in the past which leads me to believe that they are implying that mac is a pedophile? Please let me know if I completely misread the implications of that statement, but if not, then that is completely insane and one of the biggest indictators that this is fake. Mac is awful, just like everyone in the gang but he is definitely not a pedophile.

However even if i did completely misread that, it's still proof this is fake.. For all his faults, Rob put a surprising amount of care and effort into mac's coming-out. It hasn't been perfect, but Mfhp in particular firmly established that mac's faith is integral to his identity so Its unlikely that rob would throw all of that away for a cheap shot at priests.

Ok my brain is irradiated sludge at this point, but in conclusion. I hope that 1. I'm right, at least about it being fake (Otherwise damb that'll be so humiliating for me) And 2. This eases ur fears a bit. I don't want to lose all faith in future seasons bc I love iasip and miss the gang. If you read this far youre insane but I literally love you so goddamn much because I spent so so long tapping this out on my silly little phone

Please feel free to add on or message me your thoughts and opinions I need to know I'm not the only one who uhhh went a bit insane. And finally: whoever made these is a cunt. Mwah.

#iasip #s15 spoilers #oy vey.....#they could also be written by a reddit fan who is too much of a pussy to just write fanfic but that seems kinda unlikely?#cause 1. itll be disproven so everyone will know u just... wrote weird fanfic #and 2. there are a lot of little details that are so random that even if this is a fan just messing with people.... why put in so much effo #wahtever im pressing post #actually tho what gge fuck is that priest line supposed to imply #i guess for mac it could be talking about his view that god smites enemies and u must fear him blah blah #i jus don't know what it was supposed to imply about gus!!!#bc they describe gus like he is fat mac with healthy views on the bible which :]#then that last line just gives me whiplash what does that mean!!

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hickeys-dickey · 3 years

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Pls share your thoughts about the gays in THAT scene… I would love to read them!

Ahh you are too kind, I am but a little swiss cheese brain but I'll try my best to sum up my thoughts, I have too many! I wanted a chance to grab some screenshots too! I'm going to put a read more because this is a long one buckle up lads.

So obviously the whole punishment for Hickey is designed to humiliate him (I would imagine this is one of the reasons his punishment isn't explained to him, because if Hickey truly was a naval petty officer he would know, and I think it's another way for Crozier to essentially say "I see you" and not in a good way). The fact we're not shown the other whippings shows the importance lies in the scene with Hickey.

I've seen a bit of discussion about his charge of "dirtiness", which isn't listed initially when we see him being questioned by the Captains, and whether or not it alludes to homosexuality but on a quick cursory search it does seem to have been used as a euphemism where an outright accusation of sodomy would mean a death sentence. The way Crozier throws it out there, no doubt to heap the humiliation onto Hickey and add crimes to the list to cover the fact he added lashes on to the punishment essentially for a bruised ego (but that's another matter), suggests a whole lot of venom to the accusation. Hickey's pointed look at Irving and Irving's quick shift of his gaze down suggests they both know exactly why Crozier has listed this among Hickey's list of crimes, and Hickey looks furious for it.

But I think this is also ultimately where the panic begins to set in. Again, there are far greater minds than me who have made excellent posts about queer coded characters in the terror, and I think it's no surprise that most of them are the faces that are focused on in this scence. It is clear long before this moment that Crozier's leadership is lacking, and people have already begun to voice concerns fairly loudly. Tozer for one is livid in the wake of Heather being injured, and the marines have clearly started distancing themselves from both the officers and the men. I feel like this scene, for a lot of characters is a point of major shift in either allegiences or character.

Tozer and the Captains are the first faces that are panned to in this scene and I think the expressions speak for themselves.

Tozer is visibly upset/concerned after the first lash. I do think guilt probably has a part to play, in that is was him whole told Hickey where Silna was, and presumably approved enough of the plan to not rat him out to anyone. Again, very probably part of Tozer's anger at Heather being injured due to what he sees is Crozier's poor management. Fitzjames is stoney faced, but is also the only one looking. As a man who many have noted pushes himself to pick emotional scabs, I think it would make sense for someone who is also notably queer coded and stuggles with trauma to make himself look directly at someone being whipped for a crime he himself might commit. Crozier isn't even looking, whether out of suddenly doubting his harshness or simply triggering something in his own memory it's not clear. I think the end of this shot also speaks for itself.

(Fig 1. Three Concerned (very likely not straight) men contemplate)

The lads at the back behind Mr. Johnson are all looking Directly At the whipping as it is taking place. Interestingly none of the men at the front near the table are looking. This is the stewards, officers, and marines. Whether out of respect or also Concern at their own skins (I think every one of these characters has been addressed as being queer coded at some point, minus the marines who are all, except Tozer, fairly nameless characters).

I'm not a gifmaker which is unfortunate for this section, though this is what is gifed in the beautiful gifset by sashneeka I reblogged (x). Tommy is also visibly upset, whether because he knows Tozer was involved in the plot to kidnap Silna and is concerned for him and any of the rest of the crew who had assisted in someway or voiced support. Billy interestingly does look briefly, and sets his jaw after in a way that suggests he's trying to fight the guilt of being the one to tell Irving about the whole affair with Hickey to paint himself in a better light. It could just as easily be Billy there on that table being lashed, but he somehow rationalises it in his head (probably because Hickey is a little bastard) that he was right in what he did. He does look down fairly guiltily after this, so maybe he hasn't quite settled on an opinion. Jopson also looks incredibly concerned/unsettled, and interestingly looks at Hickey right up until the whip hits where he flinches, and not for the only time in this scene. From what we know about Jopson's past, though not at this point, it may well be he is remembering similar punishment/mistreatment and like Fitzjames looks enough to pick the scab open and flinch from his own trauma.

The closeup of Hickey shows the full extent of his rage and humiliation building, and as I think Adam himself said, they whipped something out of Hickey that day and let him reach this potential that lay inside him (to become an even bigger bastard). He's fully severed all ties and feelings of loyalty after this and it becomes full on train to manipulation station from this point. I have a lot of Thoughts about Hickey also (which I am sure you are all aware of) but I think there was some semblance of Hickey attempting to start afresh on this journey, or at the very least keep his head down and go unnoticed. The trouble is, he notices Crozier as a flawed man, and one not from the upper classes like himself, and his ego can't help but think we're not so different, that could be me with the right connections. Well surprise lads, its murder time now and he's gonna make this old man pay for not recognising initiative but punishing it. I do wonder if Crozier wasn't booze sick and rattled from losing even more men under his command, would he not have come down so harshly for someone clearly defying the Articles to do what he thinks is right and save the men (a la Crozier and his fuck you I'm directly contradicting an order and leading this rescue party myself).

Tozer gets another wee closeup here and again looks like he has resolved something in his head too. Most likely that he thinks Crozier an unfit leader, and admiring Hickey for having the balls to do what he did (Hickey also never reveals anyone else who came with him, and when he talks about Hartnell and Mason's part in taking Silna it highlights their skill and bravery and (he thinks) commends them to the Captain. It's probably the only time we see him building up and applauding others). He looks dead ahead here and seems to have a very steely gaze, like yep fuck it looks like I'm going it alone now. It is interesting that Tozer goes from this to notably disliking Hickey (both at the start and when they are packing up - "you've just given me an excuse to give a big shove". This might be anger at Hickey having caused all the issues with Silna after the fact when Heather gets killed at Carnivale), but still follows him in the end. Hickey has the ability to kill, manipulate, steal, basically do whatever needed for their group to get ahead, which means Tozer can be part of the group and not have to dirty his own hands. I think Tozer probably has a complicated relationship with Hickey, but he does fall for the charm hook, line, and sinker, and the fact he seems concerned for him here suggests how easily he is sympathetic to those he sees as being wronged.

Gibby getting Hickey's blood on his hand (ayy) seems to visibly make him blanch, and I do find it interesting that the shot then pans to Tommy as though they are looking at each other when they are stood side by side. The similarities between them maybe? (I've seen and reblogged a lot of discourse about Tommy loving Tozer, maybe another nod to no one being so different to the man on the table?) Irving doesn't get much of a close up in the rest of this scene but bless him he looks equal parts terrified and guilty (another man who has been noted as having a list of many things to distract from the Gay Thoughts like why do you need to distract from Gay Thoughts Irving?). He also has the Far Off Look of trauma about him, probably because he too could just as easily be on that table.

I have many many thoughts about the way Hickey turns to look (and fucking smile???) at Crozier next, which is when Crozier is looking directly at him and Fitzjames looks at him. Like if I were Crozier I think my fucking blood would chill, look at this man. Being humiliated and lashed still hasn't broken him, if anything he has just become fully unhinged and looks at Crozier as though to say "did you really think this would work?". I would also say, this man has fairly quite for someone who is at this stage something like 22 lashes in? Like what the actual fuck Hickey?? I fully belive Hickey to be a psycopath, and most of what he does in the beginning of the series is an attempt to stay hidden until they get to Hawaii and he can ditch the crew, but I think it is fairly safe to say he isn't hiding it any more.

And he knows this is going to make the men doubt Crozier - I can't do a proper search because I am using my work laptop atm, but I seem to remember reading that a punishment greater than 12 lashes required a court martial (probably why Little steps in to say so when Crozier orders his punishment as well as them technically being lost at sea), which would be another strike against him as a Captain. Not only that, but Crozier does seem to grant him some mercy in letting him only be lashed I think 23 or so times? Probably because the tension is fucking palpable in this whole scene and Crozier can either choose to claw back some sense of control on the matter, or deal with the consequences of many people admiring Hickey for what he has done for the crew and start a mutiny. I think this is the first time Fitzjames sees the damage Crozier is doing to himself with his choices as Captain, and is probably just as concerned at the look Hickey is giving him. He knows this has unleashed something in this tiny rat bastard too, and that he will become the physical manifestation of Crozier's self-destructive tendancies. Crozier perpetually comes to everything just a fraction too late to change anything - he never saves any of the men, only comforts them as they die, and a lot of this has to do with his own ego and bad decision making, and I think this is the first example here of the fact his actions are having an effect on others to the point it will be his downfall.

Anyway, to round it off, I think this scene really epitomises the notion that Hickey is a mirror to the rest of the men, and they see their flaws in him. Those who have questioned Crozier's captaincy look concernced knowing they too could be being lashed. They too would have tried to get Silna to stop the Tuunbaq hunting them. Those who are queer or queer coded know they too could be being lashed for it. Crozier himself sees his unwillingness to follow the Articles in him, sees his own insubordination, and feels what Sir John meant when he said his position afforded him deference. Hickey may as well be a metaphor for all the men being lashed, theres not one among them who haven't voiced wanting to do what he has done. Let them without sin and all that. This is make or break for who holds loyalty to the Captain, and the turning point for who is going where. I think everyone except Jopson, Irving and Fitzjames ends up in the mutineers camp, and Irving ends up killed and mutilated by Hickey and Fitzjames is scavanged by them. Theres not one of them that isn't haunted by what happened in this scene, and Hickey would end up being the death of every single one of them. The only one who remains loyal after this is Jopson, who thinks his care and duty to the Captain can outweigh his other sins. Fitzjames and Crozier have a stronger relationship once he recovers from his withdrawal, yes, but Fitzjames also keeps him in check now (I'm thinking of Edward Little being threatened with flogging again because of course I am), and it is another step too late for Crozier's self-destruction. I've seen a Hickey/Fitzjames Christ analogy on here before too, so I hope you'll forgive me in comparing them, but Hickey in this scene really does get punished for everyone else's crimes in this scene, and becomes a sort of Christ-like figure, reborn as a complete version of the worst of himself from the pain of being lashed. They whipped something out of him!! Anyway, that about sums it up!

#long post #thank you for asking I could talk about the nuances of the terror for days #hickey thoughts

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furashuban · 2 years

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1, 4, 5, 6, 18, 18, 25 for the writer asks? :))

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

So, I had 2 continuation fics planned for a Sketchbook Ship AU I made a while back (called the Spellbound AU), but right now I've been putting them hold 'cause not only am I severely lacking the motivation and energy ATM, but I also do feel like I need to develop the narrative in the AU a bit more beyond just Kaisa and Johanna being best friends in their childhood before I could talk about and continue writing it more.

4) favorite character you’ve written

For fics, it'd have to be Johanna! One of my favourite types of characters to write are ones who have really soft-hearted and amicable personalities, so Johanna is literally more than perfect to me and my attachment to her in the show already adds to why I love writing her. But I also enjoyed writing her particularly in Visitations where she can be a bit socially-awkward and sentimental [around Kaisa].

As for OCs, Ramona and Flannel!! I genuinely can't just pick between one of them, their dynamic together is inseparable and has given me so much comfort to write, and they’re both just sweet and warm characters in their own right <33

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

Without spoiling much of my next works, I really didn't expect to write Tontu from Hilda and Angel from C&A a lot more than I had :0

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

I would absolutely want to change Flannel's dialogue in In The Glowing Forest and The Temporal Telephone, 'cause at the time their voice (and character in general) wasn't officially set in stone yet and I just imagined them having an American voice rather than Nordic, so seeing Flannel talk the way they do in those two stories just feels kind of unnatural in my head now. (hopefully it isn't too late to try and rework their dialogue the way I'd want them to be now)

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

It’s a little hard to explain, but Norse Mythology by Neil Gaiman was something that influenced my style upon reading in terms of published works.

But also, All of your works that I've read have actually influenced my style ever since I was first introduced to them! :D But if I had to name one that became the catalyst for inspiring a change in my style, it'd be the first fic I ever read from you Room For One More. There's also @great-raven-parade's fic This is Somewhere and is a fic I'm also pretty sentimental about! My current writing style may not as be brilliant or immersive as you both's, but I genuinely did learn to improve and bounce back from my year-long burn-out because of how much I enjoyed your works at the time (and still continue to) <3

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

Frida’s hand faded back to its normal color, and the carnation was encased in a layer of blue before slowly rising up, healthy and comely in the ceramic pot. Hilda gasped, but the witch-in-training was far from over. She gathered the rest of the weakened flowers on her palm and got her hand to re-glow. Feeling much more confident from the rejuvenated carnation, she exerted her energy over to the flowers until they finally sprouted to their healthy physiques as Hilda found them.

Frida picked two blue violets out of the vase and held it over to Hilda. “And a couple for my familiar.” she spoke. “For being really kind and sweet to pick these flowers for me.”

“So cool…” Hilda could only say, grinning and blushing as she received the flowers.

#asks #mutuals #tp <33

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rurifangirl · 3 years

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aight. here somes the ask lore thingie

tw for ppl readin: mention of mental illness, father mention

firstly, how did rui end up meetin the rest of the gang? did they all have sum sort of run in? did they just happen to meet on exident?

also is the father a villain? i remember ya mention him, and was wonderin

and do they have a specific place where they stay? like in a dormstory, a single house, do they live in a single town, or in completly different places?

do any of them suffer from mental/physical illnesses? if they do, how does it affect their life/relationships w others?

Aight, so here we go, be ready cuz shit's long.

(1st part - The Rui n the gang meeting; The Shou meeting) No Tw

Honestly, I also kinda wanted to do this for quite a long time, so I'm gonna firstly talk about how the gang (w/o really mentioning the others name's since they're gonna get introduced soon) met itself and decided to form, and then I'll individually do It in Lyva's and Shou's case, specifically Shou's since i mentioned that his meetin was somethin id have to take care of in another post, so i will rn.

First things first, w the whole gang. Now It wasn't really casually, mainly because Lyva n Rui did meet up, but It was during a special occasion still, that being a really important manifestation in one of the main regions in my oc universe. (They don't have name's yet so pls don't bash me🤡) Them being primarly the Forest, where Rui eventually lives in after all of his past shit, the near-countryside part, where Lyva was living, a pretty much city living on water, where Shou's currently living, and many more, as such the dunes with which I'll introduce Qiran (hopefully tomorrow/today),The sea itself, some High up places and as I said many, many other more. Other than this brief intro, they meet up where Lyva used to live, but mainly because of problems and out of conviniance.

Everyone had something to take back from, so they agreed to help eachother to reach that end, so it's all really planned. Now i won't really go w Lyva, cuz i explained how she met Rui the first time n how they helped her, so I don't need to ramble more on this. Now I'm gonna go w Shou's part though.

This Is more of a note i wanted y'all to know first, cuz i really like how Lyva n Rui met him the first time (cuz the second time was when the gang then all agreed to form n all that jazz.). Basically, Rui n Lyva were out, n visiting new places as such, to prepare themselves further and to try and search for more weapons, cuz they both knew that they'd eventually get in trouble, and even though they still are good, they wouldn't stand much a chance, n since Shou's Place is known for its production they decided to go. N fun fact, there's many funny shit that happends, for example Rui tries to touch a fish, but gets SLAPPED by It. They're still mad >:[. Ajkskdj anyways, some other stuff happends n they just, lose themselves. They had a map ofc but still managed to do so. But Rui was usin It so, I don't really blame em for gettin lost.

Shit happends n they find themselves pratically in front of his shrine/palace. Shou's servitors (cuz he saw everything happend from afar n gave them the okay) brought em in, but rather than makin em idk some tea n just making them recouver, Shou rather put them under some "tests" w/o tellin em, to see if they were any use.

For example he brought them some cups of tea, but before drinking them Rui noticed somethin unusual in the water, so they gave Lyva a sign to not drink It, n as Shou asked as a reason why they just replied that they weren't thirsthy, leavin Shou in a kind of defeated state. Bitch if i love this part honestly, there's so much fun to seein all of their reactions, but I'm gonna go brief rn. So other of this tests pass later n Shou eventually gets upset cuz they're all winnin n seemingly makin fun of him, lettin him in a weaket standpoint, n a fight happends. Even though it's a 2v1 situation he can still manage pretty well, so It ends in a draw. They get to talk after this and get to understand that they don't have to necesseraly be on the opposite side, though Shou Is still unsure whether to belive in that or not.

After they leave him, pratically almost alone w only a bunch of servitors helpin him. He admits defeat n won't show up until the event and yadayada. (Also it's during this weak time of his he'll meet Qiran which i already have plans w so it's all goin to be said bout their relationship in their post.)

(2nd part, the father mention.) Tw:father mention

So it's true that w Shou i did mention his father, but I'm not entirely sure bout his involvment honestly. In theory he kind of is a villain itself, even because of his devilish nature, so it's true, but im not sure whether to make him an independent villain or part of a group of them. But rather than that yes, i do want to make him some sort of villain in the end, because that's also part of Shou's agreement to be part of the group. I will make concept art for him so he'll definetly be involved. Not gonna lie, mabye that bastards also involved w Rui's cult too in a way or another but im givin in too many details holy shit I'll never get outta this fuck

(3rd part- where do they live) No Tw

They live in their own homes honestly, but It would be no surprise if they'd all decide to sleep over someone in specifical, though they have their own place. I made some concepts for Rui's intern home, which here It Is 😤 (forgive me for the bad quality but it's 2 am rn 🤡) I made this a while ago but only did Rui's, so I'll do Lyva's, Shou's n the other one's too. They live in different places, for the exception of, atm, Qiran, since I'm gonna say that they're more of a traveller n don't have a stable home.

(4th part- the mental/physical ilnesses) Tw: Self harm and Mental ilness mention

Well, this Is gonna be a ride. They all suffer from Ptsd, which Rui n Shou suffering from It the most. It still affects them all, though in different occasions, so Imma just do them in specifical. (Also because i gotta add some shit to shou that i didn't wanna add because i thought It was too much honestly)

Rui-

It affects them really much. They use crystals n gems to avoid anything going w their past or anything remotely related It, as whenever they feel awful about havin those flashbacks when they still were a child. They never want to talk about what happened, n during their moments It gets really, really bad. Both emotionally and physically, as their body sometimes cannot handle anything so it completely shuts down. They never really got any help for It as Rui's too scared to share bout their experience, both because of trauma itself that doesn't make them say anything even if they wanted to and because of the cults influence, so either way they've got to handle It by their own.

Lyva-

Other than havin to deal w mornin sickness, which Is the least for her, she has to deal w her neglectful childood and how desperate she's always been for litteraly anythin, whether it's related about love,friendship, food, toys, anything. She tried to seek for help and semi found It, but as of now she can't keep up w It and has better things to take care of. It's still really bad overall, but she's hoping for things to get better. Spoiler It really won't.

Shou-

⭕Tw for sh⭕

It's... really fucking bad. I'm gonna get outta this w saying something i didn't want to add because it's really triggerin, but im gonna do It now. So basically, I've mentioned them acting feminenly for his own mother, but i didn't say what would've happened if he displeased her. She would just stare down at him and whispering some awful shit or names. This would happen especially whenever he'd slip off that mask of his or revealed even a tiny bit of his devilish essence. Note that he's still a child here. So, best thing he could to was to "punish" himself, which basically consists of him scratching his arms too much and, i don't really want to continue this, forgive me but it's kind of triggering even for me. But...you can guess what he's doing, since he even to this day still keeps sharp nails. I'm sorry for putting this, but it's another way to show how his mother fucked him up and now suffering from this.

I'm sorry for rushin the last part but i'm not personally vibing w it.

Tags undercut

@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @dopesaladlady @damnfoxx (I'm really unsure bout taggin ya in this ;-;)

If you want your tag removed, dm me cuz it's 3 am at the moment n i may have messed em up. (I'm not gonna recheck tomorrow so that's why)

#whdkkwkwkdk honestly I've written so fucjing much n for what😭😭#ruruasks #rurusocs #ruruslore #oc #ocs #my ocs stuff #rui #Lyva #shou #oc lore #i hope this shit doesn't flop cuz I've written so much n im just goinwbdjlwkdjdowodijqowodjdjoaodjdjdj #asks

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wh33zy · 3 years

Text

Teacher! Teacher!

Hello, welcome to the fanfic I wrote on and off for a while on the depression train when I remembered this idea I had a while back. It’s easing me back into writing again, so FEUD will be coming back soon! This would be what would amount to the first chapter, but I’d like to know what any of you thought before I would make it a multichapter thing. (Also, might change the title later because I fookin’ hate it but I can’t think of anything else atm.) This is probably terrible but I’m in a sharing mood (and I made a post to see if anyone would care to read)!

also can’t believe we’re doing fucking egoist

Synopsis: Hiroki, ever the prideful “Kamijou the Devil” lit professor is running late to class during the first week after summer break. In his haste to get to class on time, he bumps into a tall young man that he mistakes for a student. Upon immediate finding out that he bumped into and scolded a fellow professor, Hiroki is left to wallow in embarrassment and a budding crush.

Chapter 1: Hot

He always hated being late, mainly the rush.

But, he can’t help that he’s gotten quite good at tying his tie in the time it takes for him to swish and spit mouthwash. Also the speed-walk to the university, the near jog he does in hallways. On autopilot he slips by students and other faculty to his classroom, his work bag held tightly under his arm. Even though he’s about to be on time anyway, as the room was right at the entrance to the literature department, he still swears that five more minutes will never turn into forty agai-

His shoulder collides with a new obstacle today, ruining the usual flow of his race to class. He nearly drops his bag (that has a laptop in it!), forcing an angry, “Watch it!” Out of him.

Which he really wouldn’t have said if he had gotten a look at the person he bumped into first. So tall, black hair framing his face perfectly and bringing out the paleness of his skin, blue eyes so striking, broad shouldered, long-legged- Hiroki’s mouth was confused whether to water or go completely dry. He’s never seen him before, but there was one thing he did know: Christ, he was his type in fucking spades.

But he looked young and the backpack he was carrying didn’t do any favors. Oh well...

The stranger looked back at him with instant remorse and no fear for the leftover of a glare that was on Hiroki’s face. “So sorry! Are you okay-”

Hiroki waves a hand in dismissal. “Forget it and get to class where you should be.” He says with the authoritative tone that usually makes anyone duck their head down and mumble ‘excuse me, sensei’ while they scurry off

But, he gets smiled at! The audacity-

“Right! Can’t keep my students waiting!” He says before turning away.

Hiroki’s cheeks burned for mistaking a professor for a student! But, he didn’t have any time to apologize or wallow in the embarrassment so he ends up being the one to ashamedly scurry off.

Hiroki closes his office door behind him after his second class that day, letting his back fall against it. He heaves a large sigh, eyes squeezed shut almost as if he were in pain. The thick packet of essays that had yet to be graded weighed heavily in his hand. On top of it all? It was hot. Hot enough that his hair stuck to the back of his neck and on his forehead for most of the day. Summer had been overstaying its welcome.

“Tough crowd today?” Miyagi asks from his desk, fanning himself with a few assignments marked with red pen absentmindedly as his other hand went to work to mark the ones left. Even the open window didn’t do enough justice to cool him down, but it did help the odor of old literature not take over their small quarters.

“You have no idea.” Hiroki grumbles back, tossing the stack onto his desk before flopping down into his chair. He leans back, hooking a finger in the knot of his tie and tugging it loose. “Did you ever get word when they’re fixing the damn AC in here?” He then takes off his glasses to rub at his eyes, feeling the sweat that had collected in his brows.

“Dean said they'll bring someone in by next Tuesday.” Miyagi says in a concentrated mumble, brows furrowing on a terrible grammar mistake. “Fingers crossed.”

The professor can only groan, “Ugh, are you serious? Next Tuesday? They couldn’t get someone sooner?” He’s sure they’d boil alive by then!

The now completed grade was added to the thin stack fanning Miyagi’s face. “It’s better than nothing.”

“I guess-”

There are three polite taps on their door, causing the two to look at each other for a moment. It was a bit early for a student to have to talk to one of them in person and they didn’t have any guests today. Since neither of them signaled a ‘no’, Hiroki readjusts his tie when Miyagi throws a ‘come in!’ over his shoulder. The door loudly creaks open-

The hunk from earlier!

Wait-

Hunk? Really? We’ve never used that word before how disgusting-

“Oh, hi, sorry to bother you.” He greets and good lord is he stunning when he’s hot.

Mystery Hunk completely removed his tie from earlier that day in favor of popping his collar open. His collarbone, now revealed, almost seemed to glisten in the sunlight from the window. His face had a slight shine as well, the heat frustrating him just as much with the way his sleeves were rolled up his elbows. However, it didn’t leave him without such a nice (and apologetic) smile.

Hiroki looks at Miyagi because he was usually the one to handle guests since he was naturally pretty social. But Miyagi is sucked into his work again, leaving Hiroki to assure, “Uh, it’s not a problem.” Then he asks, “What can I help you with?” He swallows, and it comes out meaner than he wanted it to.

The smile on his face was still warm, eyes just as striking as they were when they bumped into each other. Is he mad at all about what happened earlier? And if he is, should Hiroki apologize? “Do you have any spare printer paper? I’m in the office next door and my colleague just used the last of it.” And still hating the idea that he’s an inconvenience in any way, “I just need a little! I promise!.”

“Yeah, sure.” Hiroki instantly goes to him and Miyagi’s supplies shelf next to his desk. He picks up a large, unopened pack of paper that has yet to be used. “We always have a lot in supply.” Hiroki says as he hands it over, hoping that it would silently let the other professor know that he’s welcome in his office any day of the week. “Here you go.”

Hunk’s ever-so sparkling smile only widens with gratitude. “Thank you so much.” But then it leaves when his brows furrow slightly. “We ran into each other earlier, right?”

Hiroki tries not to hold his breath, “Oh...that was you wasn’t it?” He asks back, then regrets it because it comes off so flippant. Why can’t he be more soft-spoken and nice? Why does he have to sound like this!? So, to make up for all of it, “I’m sorry by the way.” He bites his lip, his pride already getting stabbed. But, this was the right thing to do and he’d feel much better about it later. He reaches up to rub at his neck. “I-”

“No, don’t worry about it.” The other professor shakes his head as if rejecting the apology. “I should have been looking where I was going and we both should have been on time in the first place.”

Oh.

He didn’t take Hiroki scolding him for being mistaken as a student.

This is a fantastic development.

So, the lit professor rolls with that. “You’re completely right. I was definitely in a rush- should’ve gotten up earlier.” He explains, the warmth in his cheeks starting to calm.

“Kusama Nowaki.” Hunk says, offering his hand. “I teach freshman and senior biology.”

Makes sense; the beginning of the science department was right next door to literature. Hiroki always found it weird that they weren’t right next to history or something more fitting. But, he’s never been more glad that they weren’t.

Hiroki wastes no time in accepting it. “Kamijou Hiroki.” He even give a small grin back, but it falters a little when he realizes how big and warm Nowaki’s hand is. “Japanese literature.”

Nowaki’s eyebrows raise a little in realization, “So you’re the devil that I’ve been hearing so much about!” He chuckles slightly, the whispers of students in his classes today made a little more sense.

Lifting his chin with pride. “Yes, I am. And you must be new.”

“Just started this year.” Nowaki nods, and this time, he looked a little shy which surprised Hiroki. “Well, I won’t keep you. Thanks again for the paper.”

“Of course.” He nods back. “A-Any time.” He quickly adds which earns him an extra smile that makes his heart flutter just right.

He sits back down in his chair, still in a bit of a daze.

#junjou romantica #junjou egoist #nowaki kusama #kamijou hiroki #miyagi yoh

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once-upon-a-scenario · 4 years

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Himejima: Meeting s/o’s family headcanons!

“Can I request genya and sanemi fighting over a s/o but at the end decides to share headcannons I just would find it really cute and if not some headcannon on gyomei meeting the s/o family I just find these would be really cute if that’s okay with you maybe both ... thank u love your content 💓” Requested by @missmadness123 Sorry, I accidentally deleted your ask OTL Thanks for the kind words, I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog! I thought about the Genya + Sanemi one but I’m afraid that the age difference between them/their general relationship made it difficult for me to figure out how to write that particular scenario;;; the idea for Gyoumei sounds adorable, though, hope you enjoy! (Also quite random, but just a note in order to avoid confusion for everybody following this blog: I am not Mod Lily, whose name you’ll see in the blog bio thing; I’m Eve. This blog is for both of us mods, I’ve just been too lazy to add myself in the description lol. Everything you see uploaded nowadays is by me because Lily herself is too busy atm to write anything, but please stay tuned for when she comes back! :D) -Mod Eve _____ -he’s mostly silent on the journey to your house, lost in thought. He won’t push it, he decides; how your family feels about him is up for them to decide, and what you’ll do either way is your decision. In his mind, he’s already lucky to have kept you this long. -(he is, after all, a bit of a cynic, and still barely learning to trust love. How many children has he saved and taught and cared for, only to have them torn away from him before they reached adulthood? How many times has he been left by someone he cared for? You’re a bit of an anomaly in this aspect, considering that you’ve neither died nor tired of him yet, but he still tends to view your relationship as something delicate; uncharted waters that he’s still struggling to navigate properly. You, your laughter, your touch, your warmth- he doesn’t want to lose this, but he doesn’t see how he can avoid being left behind, when being left is all he’s ever really known.) -and he’s his quiet, morose self, prayer beads in hand and mouth set in a firm line, determined to be simply polite and respectful and let everything run its course, but he’s surprised, then, when he finds himself pulled straight into the arms of your family -he’s asked questions, everything from how he met you to what he likes to eat, to whether he’ll be asking you to marry him soon (this last question from one of your small siblings, cousins, something or other- the child immediately gets hushed by the moritifed adults, while Gyoumei sits there, mouth slightly dry, trying not to break his composure) -in a sense, it’s as if he’s suddenly privy to a new side of you as he wanders through the house you spent your childhood in and speaks to the people who’ve known you all your life, long before he ever did. He learns about the foods you refused to eat, your favorite toy at age six, the room you used to sleep in, and then he can almost imagine a past version of you, racing about this very house- the light patter of your feet on the floor, the sound of your childish laughter. -he sets himself up for disappointment so firmly that he’s actually caught off guard once he realizes that your family isn’t aiming to get rid of him, that they don’t mind his scars, that his height does not intimidate them, that they’re either unaware of his past as a (wrongly, but few people know that) convicted murderer or don’t care -(Thank you for your courage, is what he hears instead, from the lips of an elderly family member as she leads him aside with a wrinkled hand. Thank you. You make that child happy.) -I’m the one who should be saying thank you. That ‘child’ you refer to has saved me from solitude. -then he starts a little, hearing your voice calling him before whispering somewhere a bit closer to his ear in a way that tells him you’re probably standing on your toes, “I can’t believe they told you all those embarrassing stories!”. He feels the familiar touch of your hand (yours and no one else’s; he knows the weight and shape of it better than anything, and could never forget) on his shoulder -and for a moment, he breathes in deep and steady. He can hear the bright, animated sound of your family’s voices as they chat amongst themselves. He feels the anchoring weight of your body leaning slightly against him, and, he realizes, a small tug at the leg of his pants, followed by a high-pitched voice commanding, “up!” -another one of your younger family members, then. From next to him, you stifle a laugh. -he stands there as you playfully complain about your family, a child in his arms and tugging curiously on his prayer beads with one tiny fist. His lips curve upwards in spite of himself in one of his rare smiles. It’s harder to worry, here, with you at his side and the potential promise of a future before you. He swears he’ll find his courage; he’ll be a man worthy of you and the trust you and your loved ones have placed in him. -”Is this ok, Gyoumei? Are you alright?” you ask him tentatively once your complaints are through, and his voice is gentle when he replies. -”It is. I am. I’m glad...” he says slowly, “I’m glad I came.” -and the answering squeeze of your hand on his is all he really needs.

#Kimetsu no yaiba #himejima gyoumei #Himejima x reader #himejima gyoumei x reader #headcanons #reader insert #Mod Eve #first request!#more of a scenario than headcanons r.i.pieces #apparently I do not know what a headcanon is lmao

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scribeofmorpheus · 4 years

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Chasing Tornadoes {3/6}

Pairing: Stephen Strange x Reader

Series Warnings: poorly written medical procedural, mild delving into spirituality, language, overbearing egos, graphic descriptions of medical procedures. more warnings to be added. 18+ Generally, like my blog.

A/N: suprisingly, very little to warn about. blood splatter?

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | AO3

Taglist is open -comment or send an ask!

<< Previously ○ Next >>

“God, you’re insufferable!” You slammed your clipboard into Stephen’s chest, it was surprisingly firm in a subtle way. You swallowed.

Stephen grabbed your wrist, not tightly, but firm enough to lock you in his grasp. He tugged, you moved forward against your wishes.

“And you’re so goddamn stubborn,” he whispered.

You shook your head, “I can’t believe you went around my back and interfered with my patient! That wasn’t your call. If I wanted your help, I’d ask for it!”

Stephen inched you towards the wall, back pressed to the familiar hospital walls. “You and I both know, I was the more qualified to handle this one.”

Why is he being so blasé about all this? Your breath hitched when he moved in a little closer. Why is he so close?

“Steph—”

He cut you off, lips prompting a rise in euphoria as soon as they met yours. They were soft, supple. But there was a boldness beneath it. You whimpered, finding it strikingly good. Deliciously good. And then while your head spun and Stephen stole your breaths, your surroundings changed to the familiar navy blue of the OR.

You gasped and pushed Stephen softly, “How did we…?”

Stephen followed your gaze.

A group of surgeons, masked up and gloved up, were performing surgery on a banana. You stuttered, at a loss for words. Stephen shrugged, unphased and then moved his attention back to you. Lips a mere millimetre away.

You recoiled, “Stephen.”

“What?” He asked, somewhat disappointed.

You pointed your ring finger at the operating table, “The banana.”

“Oh, right,” He turned. “How’s our patient?”

A beeping noise sounded out. A fellow spoke: “He’s going into cardiac arrest.” The beeping stopped. “He’s gone.”

“I’m calling it, time of death—”

You were shaken from your sleep by the sudden reorientation. With a loud thud, you landed hard on your ass, the sheets tangling one foot.

You rubbed your eyes, vision coming back blurry and spotted, “What the hell kind of dream was that?” Your fingers trailed over your lips. Dry and chapped and sorely missing the softness of the dream. You groaned, in no mood to deal with some romance drama in the workplace.

You were roused from the floor by the sound of something breaking. With heavy eye-lids and noodle arms, you hoisted yourself up and walked towards the kitchen, the source of the sound.

Rich loam soil and four fragmented pieces of a flower pot lay scattered on the floor. A small root system was peeking out from under the stove; it belonged to a cactus. The last cactus you owned.

You groaned as your eyes trailed up to the former resting place of the now destroyed flower pot and saw Spike’s fat reptilian body trying to slink away.

“Oh no you don’t, you leathery cat,” you hopped over the mess on the floor and grabbed Spike. You held him close to your face so you could stare into his eyes. “What is it with you and cactuses?”

Spikes tongue slithered out then in again before he let out a whiny growl.

You rolled your eyes and scolded him, “If you keep this up I’ll put you up for adoption.” You clicked your tongue in annoyance as you opened up the balcony door and let Spike down next to the arbour. “You stay out here and think about what you’ve done while I make breakfast.”

Spike made another lazy growl before moving away from the door at a snail’s pace. You hastily swept up the soil from your wooden floors and set aside the broken ceramic pieces in case you wanted to use them for another DIY home decor project.

While you put together a fruit bowl for breakfast, you noticed you hadn’t checked your voicemail. As you squeezed out the last two drops of honey onto your breakfast, you listened absentmindedly to the voice messages while making a mental checklist.

“Hey, Y/N…” Teddy’s soft voice reminded you of a lounge singer who smoked too many cigarettes in between sets. The kind of swaggerful baritone that belonged to men like Frank Sinatra or Nat King Cole. Ironically, Teddy’s face matched the softness of his name more than it did his pitch in voice. “I sent a few messages but I suppose you were on shift. That tornado…messy stuff. My cousin is local fire department, she told me—”

Remember to pay Mr Eliopoulos for the takeout. Teddy’s voice dissolved into white noise as you chewed your food. Get some bills out the ATM to keep on hand.

The next message played after a beep and you weren’t the slightest bit sorry you didn’t fully catch the rest of Teddy’s message.

“Y/N, it’s Irene.” –You froze. For a second– “I don’t know if you deleted my number after the last time we talked or not so…Yeah. It’s Irene,” your sister’s voice was a startling surprise to hear. She sounded as lively as a doornail, probably all the hours spent banging her head instead of her gavel in the courtroom. Irene thrived in the city, even if she never looked fully awake in any of her social media posts. You didn’t care much for city life and its exhausting churn.

Remember to save Irene’s number. Again.

“Mum called me, frantic that you didn’t call or text to say you were okay. She watched the news. The tornado rattled her. Your phone was off the whole day. I had to clear a whole day’s worth of meetings because her angina was acting up.” Irene was rambling in her monotone.

Angina isn’t a disease.

Irene paused as if she’d heard what you’d thought. Then she took a breath. You could practically picture her working her jaw muscles as she fought the urge to get emotional. “Call mum.”

Call mum.

The distance between you and Irene wasn’t consolidated to the miles between your cities. Irene was prickly, like a cactus. Maybe that’s why you had so much trouble growing them. But she was also the only person on the I-95 highway who stopped to pick up a wounded iguana on her cross-country trip that winter you moved into your apartment. That iguana was Spike. That was also the first and last time Irene ever stepped foot in your apartment. And the second time you’d deleted her phone number.

“Or at the very least, post one of those disturbing pictures of Spike dressed in baby clothes,” Irene’s tone turned condescending. There was some chatted on her end of the line. “I’m needed in the chamber.”

No rush saving her number. You swallowed the last spoonful of food before dumping your bowl in the sink. Then you opened the balcony door to let Spike back in.

A third beep. Another message.

“Dr Y/N?” the voice on the other end of the line was now very familiar to you. For a second, you wondered if you were still dreaming. “Dr Stephen Strange. The relief. I got your number from the on-call sheet. Just letting you know I got the go ahead first thing this morning to prep for the transplant. I’ll be the chief surgeon on staff. Marcy is in the best hands. Literally. I’ll see you at work.”

Ask about the transplant. You head shot up so fast you were convinced it’d crack like an Indiana Jones style bullwhip. Transplant?

“Marcy…” you mumbled before rushing to get to the shower. Just then another message played. The last. On it, Mike told you he was on his way to pick you up and that you should do something, but you weren’t paying much attention at that point. You had less than five minutes before he arrived.

Your shower was cold and quick. About half-way through, you realised the conditioner was practically empty. No time to fully detangle your bed-head knots, you raked your fingers through and washed all the shampoo away, making sure to add a little styling crème so your hair wouldn’t look like frizzy from the summer humidity.

You made sure to grab your go-bag, keys and lock the balcony door before rushing out the door just as Mike pulled into the driveway.

Mike had dark circles under his eyes, wind tousled hair that was still damp in places and an outstretched hand dangling out the car window with a coffee flask waiting expectantly.

You grabbed it and hastily made your way to the passenger side.

“Thanks,” you said out of breath as you unscrewed the cap and took a swig. Mike looked at you with a perplexed expression. When no coffee touched your tongue it was your turn to look back at Mike with a similar expression. “It’s empty.”

Mike nodded, “I know it’s empty.”

“Why’d you give me an empty flask?”

“Because you were supposed to make the coffee.

“Then you should have told me to.”

“I did.”

“You didn’t.”

Mike stared at you with a knowing look for a second too long. He sighed, rubbing his red eyes, “You didn’t listen to the whole voice message did you?”

You opened your mouth to retort but then you realised Mike was right. You clicked your tongue, “We can stop by the café near the intersection.”

“You’re buying,” Mike put the car in drive while you tried your best to distract yourself from thinking about Marcy.

“Tell me something new.”

You got dressed into the maroon scrubs in the locker room. Your lanyard feeling particularly heavy that day. Maybe you weren’t as ready for today as you thought you were.

You had hoped and prayed to whatever constituted as a god on any particular day that Marcy would get a new lung. A healthy lung. And that she’d finally get to experience her youth, but now your hands wouldn’t stop shaking and your heart was so loud you wanted to scream just to shut it up.

But today was here and you only had the one heart, so you made a fist, took a long, deep breath and ran towards the OR.

Bach in C minor was playing over the sound of the heart-lung machine. There had been a slight pause when you walked into the OR mid-surgery, but everything continued without fail.

You knew, logically, that observing from the theatre was the right thing to do. The impartial thing to do. But this wasn’t any patient. This was Marcy. The girl you helped with her science homework that one weekend she came in for a check-up and stayed for a minor surgical procedure. The girl you watched rerun’s on cable TV with when you had the night shift. The girl you watched grow up.

Doctor Weisz was among the medical staff in the room. Strange didn’t bother looking away from Marcy’s open chest cavity.

“I don’t remember calling for a second pair of hands,” Strange said as if he was talking to himself. “Did you Doctor?”

Doctor Weisz’s words came out muffled behind her mask, “No.” She kept an impressive straight face. Come to think of it, you had never seen her smile. Or get angry. She was always professional. Even her haircut was a choice of convenience; short and slicked back.

You stepped out from behind Strange’s frame and moved in closer to Marcy. It was a little unsettling how normal she looked in a hospital gown with the elastic of her breathing mask drawing two red lines across her cheeks. The open chest cavity was different though. Unsightly.

Your fingers trembled, reaching out to hold her open palm lying flat on the table when the sudden loud beeping of the heart rate monitor shook you to action.

A squirt of blood sprayed out, turning the sterile blue operating gowns dark with plasma.

“She’s bleeding,” Strange noted as if reading a catalogue. “There’s too much scar tissue.”

“BP is dropping. Fast,” Mike said. You hadn’t even noticed him in the room.

“Clamps,” Doctor Weisz’s hand was stretched expectantly to the fellow behind her.

Your feet were glued in place, like a statue with open eyes that couldn’t look away, just watching. Your brain yelled at you to snap out of it, let your training take over, set your emotions to backburner. But none of it worked.

“Someone get her out of my OR!” Strange’s composure shifted for the first time. It was then that you noticed your hand was holding tightly onto Marcy’s.

Just as Strange instructed, someone grabbed your hand and pulled towards the doors. Once you were out in the bright hallway you realised it was Mike.

In the last couple of hours, you had treated a kid with tonsillitis, a man with a hangnail and one skateboarder with a concussion.

Why’d today have to be a slow day?

You sighed as you flipped through a medical chart Arlene had handed over for a second pair of eyes to go over.

“You said she came in with a fever?”

Arlene stammered before straightening her spine, “Y-yes.”

You kept quiet for a few seconds, waiting for Arlene to jump on cue and finish telling you the symptoms. She didn’t.

“Arlene?”

“Yes?” She looked up, big eyes fully attentive. Her innocence was endearing, but if not grown out of, it’d be a hindrance in this profession.

“This is usually when you fill me in.”

“Oh, right,” she fumbled with her chart. “Uh…loss of appetite, abdominal cramps and joint paint.”

“What’s your diagnosis?” You looked up at the wall clock, watching the hands tick.

Arlene fidgeted, “M-my diagnosis? I um…” She wiped her forehead as if there was sweat on it. “Cramps, fever and joint pain could be…stomach flu?”

“Viral gastroenteritis, yes,” you agreed with her diagnosis. “Treatment?”

Arlene was getting more confident, “Rehydration Solution, anti-viral—”

“Good, do it,” You excused yourself when you spotted Mike walking down the hall. The surgery was done.

“Mike!” You caught his attention. “So…how’d it go?”

Mike tried to miss eye contact, “She’s stable. Transplant wrapped up okay.”

“Something’s wrong, isn’t it?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” Mike rushed to place his hands on your elbows. “Marcy’s fine, taking well to the lung. She’s on assisted breathing until the rupture heals and the pressure is relieved on her muscles. She will have to stay in Recovery for longer but she’ll pull through.”

You laughed, a bright smile beaming over your face, “Then what’s the issue?”

Mike bit his lip, “Strange recommended to Weisz that you be put on probation for the time being.

Anger rushed unexpectedly, “What?”

Stephen suddenly appeared down the hallway. You marched over to him. He looked at you, expecting your oncoming aggression.

“You recommended I be put on probation?” You folded your arms to seem imposing.

Stephen glanced knowingly at Mike. Mike shrugged before disappearing into the lounge.

“God, you’re insufferable!” You flashed back to your dream and now you were confused as to what exactly you should be feeling.

“And if today is any indication, you’re too emotional,” he said softly.

You baulked, feeling insulted, “Too emotional?”

He rubbed his neck, “I told you about the operation out of professional courtesy. You had no right to barge into my OR and distract from the procedure. You put a bad foot forward, unprofessional. Weisz agreed. I suggested temporary probation to prevent Weisz from dealing a worse blow.”

You scoffed, “So you were helping me, is that it?”

“Yes,” he sounded on edge. “You’re too raw to be working right now. If I was your superior, I wouldn’t be assured that you could competently manage the rigorous expectations of the workplace.”

“Unbelievable, you really do walk around thinking you know everything, that your word is final. Mike was right, you have no reason to overstep your boundaries. You’re the relief, not my boss,” You threw your arms up in the air, ignoring the other residents listening in.

Stephen sighed, pushing passed you, ending the argument prematurely.¨

“Where are you going?” You demanded, following in stride.

“To get a drink,” he pressed his eyelids. “If you insist on still handing me my ass, you are welcome to join.”

You stalled for a second then decided to continue your squabble.

To be continued...

#stephen strange #doctor strange #stephen strange imagine #doctor strange x reader #marvel imagine #stephen strange x reader #reader insert #stephen strange x y/n

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janiedean · 4 years

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fic writer tag game

tagged by @randomingoftherandomness ty!!!

AO3 name: janie_tangerine

Fandoms: asoiaf/got (currently active regularly), the witcher (sticking to reading/writing fic for now but I’m planning on being somewhat active in that sense), dark tower/iron fist/bastille day/deadwood (not active because there’s no audience at any given time for three of them and with IF I need to be in the mood but like... I can become active in a moment if there’s the need xD), spn/lost/mcu that’s not IF/tvd (probably not going there anymore but it’s been a nice ride and might revisit I MEAN I REVISITED WITH TVD SO), various others I can write for occasionally which are all on the fandoms and ships page

Number of fics: 477 on ao3 but if I crossposted the lost/spn fic I have on lj that I still haven’t managed to import we’d be at 600 at least not counting the stuff I wrote on tumblr that I should crosspost but eh a lot

Fic I spent the most time on: lmao some flowers bloom dead, that’s because I still haven’t finished it

Fic I spent the least time on: anything under 2k was probably written in twenty minutes tops

Longest fic: sticking to ao3, in the darkness on the edge of town (asoiaf, jb, 102k hahahahahahaha)

Shortest fic: in which Robert Baratheon really, really hates pigeons (asoiaf, robert & ned + ned/cat, 568 words)

Most hits: I'll be the frosting to your cupcake, wench (asoiaf, jaimebrienne) which is at 54431 and I’m still in complete awe of it

Most kudos: five people who didn’t believe Ned Stark for one second about Jon’s paternity and one who did (asoiaf, ned + jon + various others) which is at 3437 and I’m honestly flattered that many people found it that funny xD

Most comment threads: and give all the love that you have in your soul (asoiaf, jaimebrienne + jonc/rhaegar & omc) at 216, understandable as it was like eight chapters spread over six months of me agonizing over how much I hate writing timetravel XD

Most bookmarks: more like the man you were meant to be (asoiaf, jb + jaime & cat, jaime & jon, jaime & ned & various others) at 1367 which I’m v. glad about that fic fluff I’m 100% proud of xD.

Total word count: 3806645 (with good peace of everyone who ever told me I was snobbish towards fanfic back in the day xD)

Favourite fic I wrote: I don’t wanna pick favorites because honestly they’re all my children but if I had to pick one it’s in the darkness on the edge of town for various reasons which we can sum up in I wouldn’t change a word of it and that usually doesn’t happen X°D

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: there’s a few I’ve wanted to sequel and I def. need to finish sfbd (one day) but like atm your best bet is that I’m going to add part three to that series I somehow started where geralt likes wearing dresses and more opera singers au xD rewrite... not really because I don’t have the patience for it, if I don’t like something enough to share/I know I can rewrite it I don’t post it xD

Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on:

I haven’t technically written shit these last two days and I should rectify but for sharing ideas... I need to do part four and five of her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you ie the jaimebrienne witcher fusion as in I need to find a way to rework the last wish so I can have yennefer!catelyn in it with some sense and I also want to have pod being the resident child surprise but I can’t have it like in canon for obvious reasons so I’m still plotting, also AGAIN I SHOULD FINISH SFBD AND THE TARG TELENOVELA NOW IF ONLY MY CRACK MUSE CAME BACK FOR GOOD (but for the targ telenovela it’s all on here under its tag lol) and I could do a bit more of the soulmates hearts thing but I should see, anyway since I want to give you a WIP too let me see ah well have part of the next sfbd chapter that has been in the works since nanowrimo 2018 which one day I’ll hopefully finish kdslg have at it

“Lannister,” Robb interrupts, “I think everyone knows. If you want to say he’s your son —”

“Fair, fair. Well, before I left, he wasn’t… relishing his position, so to speak,” he sighs. “Actually, he was downright hating it. Cersei pretty much always ignored his existence but now she can’t, of course, since she thinks she can rule through him, and as much as she never really let me near him if not for the bare necessary…”

“She didn’t?”

“She figured someone might have asked starting questions if I had any relationship with any of them,” he says, and now he sounds bitter, as if he rues having let her. “I — he really has no stakes in this war and he didn’t even want that position.” He takes in a breath. “The lady and I, we might have discussed what to do after this is over.”

“What’s your plan?”

“Going back to her island for a while, take a well-deserved rest, and other things that you really don’t need to get concerned about. But I was wondering, after we’re done in King’s Landing, would you be amenable to send Tommen there if we come with you to the Wall, until we come back?” He’s staring at Robb with tired green eyes that for once don’t seem to be making fun at him or anyone. “I know it would mean —”

“I don’t think it’s undoable,” Robb tells him, if anything because he can hear that he sounds as if his sister didn’t let him have a relationship with Tommen, maybe he wants to, and if he wants to bring him to Tarth where he’s supposed to go following the woman he loves or so it seems, it’s not hard to imagine why he’s asking this. “He’s young and he hasn’t been anything like Joffrey as far as we know, we can just say that if he gives up any claim on the throne he can go with you, as you would be his closest relative willing to house him, and I highly doubt a Targaryen king would want you in his guard. But you were planning to leave it anyway, weren’t you?”

“His Grace is very perceptive,” Lannister says, sounding relieved. “Very well then. I — thank you,” he says, and then he turns on his back and leaves the room as well.

Robb sure as the seven hells had not foreseen this turn of events, but he’s not going to be the person complaining about it.

“If he is thanking you I guess anything might happen at this point,” Theon says after neither of them speaks for a long moment, and Robb has to laugh at that, some. It was funny, after all.

aaand tagging let’s see @lodessa @lordhellebore @vanessawolfie @uniwolfwerecorn @myrxellabaratheon and if you’re a fic writer and wanna do it consider yourself tagged u__u

#janie writes #long post for ts #meme

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olietus · 5 years

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Humans are space orcs - Paradise

More Devin and Zolt'chk. This is a bit of a long one, and since I'm on mobile I can't add a "read more" atm. Sorry! This is mostly to practice on world building and description, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

As always, any advice, constructive criticism and writing prompts/suggestions are more than welcome! (:

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It had been a little over three days since Zolt'chk had been kidnapped by the human called Devin. At first he had been terrified of her, and while he was still extremely wary of her, the fear had slowly started to be replaced by confusion and frustration. Since their departure had been rather tumultuous, they hadn't been able to procure any rations, and there was nothing to drink either. This meant that the human grew increasingly "hangry", in her own words, which apparently meant that she was so hungry that she got increasingly furious. Zolt wasn't entirely sure how that worked, but it wasn't all too surprising since humans were a very violent predator species, after all. Secretly he had hoped that she'd starve to death (as her incessant complaining was getting rather old), but apparently humans were able to stay alive for quite a long time without food. Not so much without water, though, and due to dehydration the human had now suffered from a rather severe headache and disorientation for the past day. Still, she remained in her seat in the cockpit, furiously searching for the nearest port. Due to the risk of them being caught if they landed in more commercial ports, they'd already passed a couple of stations and planets, and each time they did, Devin got more and more desperate.

Zolt had decided to not bother her, as he really didn't want to end up being eaten. Instead he'd made himself a bit of a nest in the back of the little ship, using a couple of space suits and oxygen tubes to make it soft and cozy; the vessel wasn't equipped with any proper sleeping quarters, as it was only meant for short transport and maintenence runs. He'd been trying to finally get some sleep, as the first 30-something hours had been nerve wracking and had rendered him unable to relax at all. Exhaustion had started to get the better of him now, though, and as he curled up in his nest he was already falling asleep.

He was abruptly woken up by a loud rumble and a tremble that went through the ship, and he raised his head to look around in confusion. The ship creaked again and then, with a final loud 'thunk', the ship went still and quiet. Had they landed? The big arachi stubled to his feet, but instantly fell back down as a raging roar reached him, and Devin shot out from the cockpit, rushing past him to unlock the doors. She pressed the airlock button at least six times, clearly incredibly impatient. Zolt slowly moved over towards her, cowering slightly.

"Where are we?", he asked cautiously, just as the airlock hissed and allowed them through.

"Arbor V.", she replied shortly.

Zolt turned to look at her. Her face was stern and she was biting her lip. He didn't know what that behaviour meant in itself, but it was clear that she felt tense. As she should. Arbor V was an infamous miniature planet where crime ran rampant and almost half the planet was under martial law. The rest was ruled by several different warlords and clans that constantly warred with each other over land and resources. Most of the planet's natural resources consisted of precious minerals and forests. Arbor V was, despite everything, a very beautiful planet in its own right. Its skies were a beautiful, warm tone of pink and lilac during the days, which then shifted into a velvety emerald green towards the evening, before the night sky grew black and dotted with trillions of bright stars. During the day the two brilliant twin suns shone brightly above, leaving the surface at a comfortable, balmy temperature. During the night the planet's neighbour became visible; the big red planet Kocari, that even though it was remote, took up a large portion of the night sky. The soil on Arbor V was as red as the planet above, its cliffs and rocks white as chalk, and the vast forests were a mix of stunning, brilliant purples and blues. During night the forests and its creatures turned bright with bioluminescence, and small flying insects set the night ablaze with their intricate lightshows. If one didn't know the truth about this planet, it would surely be named a paradise.

As the two aliens stepped out of the little ship, they looked around and found themselves in a rather elegant-looking port, filled with ships from many different planets, creeds and classifications. Devin could spot a human military ship a few rows down, but business around it seemed to go on as normal. The general agreement on Arbor V was that as long as outsiders didn't mess with the powers that be and they didn't stay longer than necessary, they'd be left alone. It was a rather remote area in civilized space, so those outsiders who came here usually did so out of outmost need, not will, and would thus agree to these terms. Much like Devin herself. She needed food, money and a new ship. She could probably acquire all of them here, though with rather varying difficulty.

As they walked down the ramp they were met by a small bat-like creature with large floppy ears, short reddish fur and six appendages; two arms, four legs. It had a short fluffy tail, and wore the dark green uniform that adorned all space port personnel. She was flanked by two massive guards with long, triple jointed arms and short, sturdy legs. Their singular eyes were trained on the newcomers, and each of them carried a massive rifle. Their red uniforms signaled military. The bat raised one of her clawed hands and motioned towards the two newcomers to approach. They did so without questioning it, and the litte port master stared up at them with her three beady eyes. In her other hand she held a tablet.

"Please state your name, species, sex, allegiance and the purpose of your visit."

The human sighed and crossed her arms as she was impatient to get going, but complied.

"Devin, human, female, no allegiance, and we're just here to stock up on rations, fuel and to upgrade our vehicle."

It was quiet for a moment as the Arborian filled in the information, and then she looked over at Zolt. He stared back for a second, before he realized that it was his turn. The two soldiers tightened their grip on their weapons.

"Oh, uh... Yes, Zolt'chk, arachi, male, uh...", he paused and looked over at his human captor. He had no idea what to respond to the allegiance part. The human raised her eyebrows at him and gave a weird jerk with her head. He had no idea what she was trying to say.

"Yes?", came the slightly annoyed prod from the port master.

"... Uh, no allegiance, and my reasons are the same.", he hurried to reply. In all honesty he would've loved to tell the Arborian the truth, but first of all he was scared that if he did, Devin would twist his head off, and secondly that the Arborians themselves would kidnap and sell him. An already kidnapped person was nothing more than a basic ware like any other on this planet.

The little creature in green uniform jotted down the last of the information, and then scanned the ship's code, giving it a slight look of surprise and then looked up at the two aliens in front of her.

"This ship was reported stolen a few days ago. Says here it belongs to the Delta Cluster trade coalition." She squinted a them. Her henchmen shuffled behind her, glaring at the two outsiders.

"As I said, we're here to upgrade our vehicle.", Devin repeated. Zolt was stunned at the fact that she didn't try to hide that she stole it. He'd heard that humans could be rather illogical, but this was straight up moronic. Still, the bat-like creature blinked at them and then nodded.

"Very well. Will you be altering, selling, dismantling or destroying it, then? We are willing to take care of the procedures needed to have it travel safe again, for a price of course."

"Selling."

"Ah, very well. Will you sell it as-is, or will you pay for the procedures required to sell it at full price, ready-to-use?"

"As it is, thank you."

"I see. Lovely. We will add it to our digital stock at a price equal to its current market value, and once it's sold the earnings will be forwarded to your credits account. 20% of the profits will go to us as a middle hand and handling fee. Please sign and enter your account ID here.", she said and held out her tablet towards Devin, who added her info without question. Zolt started to say something, but Devin gave him an annoyed shove with her foot, and he went quiet again. The port master looked approvingly at Devin's signature and gave them a short nod.

"Thank you very much for your service, and welcome to Arbor V."

The second the little port master and her menacing entourage left them Devin was off half-running towards the nearest exit. Zolt, who didn't know what else to do, followed her. She'd just sold off their ship, effectively stranding them on this hellhole of a planet, and he had no idea how to get back home on his own from here. He felt a cold knot of dread form in his abdomen, and he did his best to stay close to the human.

Devin didn't look back even for a second. Her stomach was growling loudly, startling people as she walked past them. Humans were rare out here, or at least civilian ones, and Devin wore no indicators of being part of any militia. People stared at her rather shamelessly, but she didn't care. She just blindly followed her nose and stumbled towards the sweet scent of food, and as soon as the first small food stall came into view she sprinted straight up to it. The owner of the stall looked perplexed at the sight of her, though he didn't show any of the fear that was the more common reaction to seeing humans. Instead, he handed the red-haired girl a menu with one of his many six-digit hands. She was already in the middle of her order when Zolt caught up with her. She turned around and grinned widely at him.

"Do you want something? My treat!", she said cheerily and pushed the menu into the arachi's talons. The insectoid hesitated but then read through the list of courses, and rather quickly settled on one that would agree with his digestive system. Thankfully most food establishments, big or small, carried options for all the most common digestive systems. Amazingly enough, humans could eat almost anything from any option, but what else could one expect from a creature that literally had a vat of acid as a part of its digestive system.

Once their orders were placed, they moved a bit to the side to wait for their food to be ready. They stood quietly next to each other, Devin swaying slightly from side to side, eventually opting on leaning against Zolt, who stiffened at the contact. She was as warm as always, and he wasn't sure if it was pleasant or uncomfortable. Mostly it just felt weird. He wondered if it was truly comfortable to have such a high body temperature.

"I'm sorry."

He looked down at her, confused.

"What?", he asked, trying to read her expression, but she was looking away from him. She sighed.

"I already apologized once, but I don't feel like it's enough. It was terrible of me to drag you with me the way I did."

Zolt was quiet. The human's voice was steady but low, and there was a certain hesitant quality to it that he hadn't heard earlier. Somehow, despite her not crying, it made him think back on the first time he'd seen her. Despite his better judgement he once again pitied her. Still, he said nothing. He knew that she spoke the truth. If her plan had truly been to kidnap him, she wouldn't have left him unbound, she wouldn't have tried to be nice to him, and she would have definitely made an effort to restrain him before they landed if she'd wished to sell him into slavery. But he couldn't quite trust her. She was human, she was unpredictable, and she was dangerous.

When he didn't respond, Devin spoke again.

"I realize that I've put you in a very scary and unfamiliar situation, but once I have my own ship that's safe to travel with, I'll drop you off at whichever planet or station that you want. You have my word, Zolt'chk."

Before he could answer, their order was called out and they went to collect it. They sat down at a bench a short distance away from the busy street and quietly ate their food. It felt incredibly awkward.

Then he broke the silence.

"Thank you."

***

Devin felt terrible. She was indebted to the poor arachi next to her, but instead of repaying his kindness she'd probably ended up scarring him for life. He had barely said a word to her in the past few days, and she could tell that he tensed up every time she got close to him. She hadn't planned on abducting him. In all honesty it hadn't been on her mind even as she'd dragged him into the ship. It wasn't really until after her adrenaline settled down that she had truly realized what she'd done... And now she had no idea how to make it right. She hoped to at least be able to make him less wary of her, if not for her own sake then for his. She had no idea how to do that, though, and she was too hungry and dehydrated to think of a proper solution at the moment.

She ate her food rather quickly, feeling absolutely famished. Her first drink was already consumed, and she greedily started to chug down her second one. She was in the middle of this when Zolt'chk finally spoke.

"Thank you."

She nearly spat out her drink. Somehow, that was the very last thing she'd expected him to say. She looked at him a bit bewildered.

"For the food, I mean.", Zolt continued. The human deflated slightly, feeling a bit disappointed, but swiftly reminded herself that this was an entirely positive thing and gave him a soft smile.

"My pleasure.", she said. Zolt'chk hesitated for a moment.

"Could I possibly have seconds?", he asked sheepishly. Devin's smile widened and she let out a chuckle.

"Of course."

#humans vs. aliens #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #sci fi #story #space #oc #devin #zolt'chk #zolt #human #alien

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moseswilhelm · 5 years

Text

Now that you’re all gone, I’ve got a few squishy bits to air out. I don’t feel normal. Whether that means quirky or broken or eccentric depends on the day or hour or seconds between the particular anxiety of waiting on someone to respond to a long string of text. Internally, I’ve cycled between deciding if I am alien, demon, mutated evolution, a plaything of God, a challenge, or just plain old mentally ill. We can guess the healthier option, but there isn’t much use or fun using that.

Knowing you’ve lacked socialization in your youth doesn’t really mean much in trying to solve that problem in the same way that knowing you were just shot won’t help close the wound. What I am trying to say is I wasn’t socialized when I was young and that consistent distant feeling from your peers comes from that. Hearing that you think differently, or have an interesting brain is a nice little compliment albeit a little condescending. Unfortunately, you can’t really monetize excellent explanatory metaphors without the true meat and potatoes of capitalist society: focus. Arguably, effort and hard work and all that, but the measurement of how much you’ve put into something gets a bit blurred when you’ve somehow acquired detail knowledge of the economic turmoil that initiated the Pontic Wars. Someone please give me money for that. Easily an entire week got a bit lost in trying to understand centralized economies in the classical era and not one person paid me. Outrageous. I think writing was my way of trying to accomplish that level of usefulness that we are all trying to achieve. I knew that whatever I went through as a kid helped me develop an approach to understanding things in a unique way, but this is arguably not even useful to myself let alone the world as a whole. Unfortunately this hobby/career is top tier ADD nightmares and require a level of focus and drive comparable to Stephen King just ripped on coke. I neither have the proclivity for weird child orgies and dog monsters or coke. Well thats a lie, coke suits me just fine but my scantron has enough bubbles filled out and I’m already late turning in my “how much of a trainwreck are you” buzzfeed quiz. I see you, red squiggly telling me that “thats” needs an apostrophe. Fuck off, this is art and I refuse to change. Hey, what do you think happens when you’re told that confidence has to come before... y’know... actually being proud of yourself? Arrogance and self-absorption, obviously. You learn very quick that empty confidence is just as meaningless as no confidence, so to kind of fake it you have to really inflate things you have no right inflating and they are inflated on a scale comparable to those around you. Which is arrogant! Its awful! People can do different things at different levels and still be valid! Confidence is valued at an extremely high level to the point where the confidence to present yourself is a bit more important than the character you are supposedly proud of... evidenced plenty by the folks in the public eye known specifically for their charisma and yet somehow failing to actually be a person worth being around. That said, it can get tangled up in actually being proud of yourself. Shocking, I know, but you can’t really lump people who have characters worth being proud of to those just decent at faking it. Faking it. I know imposter syndrome is a thing. I am certainly not really alone in the concept of “oh god I’m faking it” so I won’t really pretend I have some magic insight on the concept (I’m lying I’m absolutely going to present myself as someone with Answers welcome to the fucking show) but when does “holding it together” and “how you present yourself” become imposter syndrome. “Hi this is me who has to be this way in order to balance between seeming different enough to stand out but not so different that you feel disgusted at the concept of change, nice to meet you” I mean what the fuck is a person anyways. Thats not a question. Not even a rhetorical one so if you answered aloud in your head I’m sorry but my psyche is not emotionally prepared for audience participation right now so clam up. Finding yourself is always a precarious as hell phrase because that often means one of two things: 1. Learning not to care about how others feel about who you are, despite all evidence of existence point out that this is the absolute most important aspect of your life 2. Presenting the parts that you were afraid to present to people. Look, I get it, you can’t please everyone and I’m not really here to talk about how to please anyone. In fact, I’m not even here. This is a lucid dream you’re having in your chair and shortly you’ll wake up and not remember if you were sleeping at all. Its fine, you’re fine. You have to please someone though. I think we underestimate the value of the tutorial level of life regarding this. You are given a set amount of people who are, usually, just going to be pleased by your existence. This always sets up your expectations of how that looks, how it feels, and how important it is. I mean imagine if right now I decided to criticize the immense value society puts on children. You’d hate my fucking guts! “Look at this asshole, kids deserve to be cared for” To be clear I don’t disagree with that. I think a lot of the current “you are valid” rhetoric is based on the concept that adults deserve to be cared for as well. This sorta rounds off my point that attention and reassurance is an important part of being cared for. In my opinion, this gets overlooked very often in favor cheap performative actions like hitting a heart button and oh my god I’m like a baby boomer writing for the new york times okay hold on I promise this isn’t a cynical criticism of millennials. People want to be heard. Importantly, people want to be understood. Spicy hot fucking take. Its a bit more than “this person knows who I am” although thats precisely how its framed. People want to be cared for, and this means knowing the... other person knows who they are caring for. Ah holy shit this is why I use metaphors. You have a snickers bar and you are hungry. Congration, you done it. Its the middle of the day and you never had any breakfast and frankly your bank account could use a break from pleasuring Starbuck’s atm reader so you somehow found the last snickers bar in a box you bought off of impulse bought off of Amazon and immediately regretted because it was gone two days later. Or so you thought. As you threw away the cardboard you hear the tell-tale tumble of a forgotten rod of peanuts and caramel that must have gotten jammed in the back of this thing. It was, however, 7am and you had to get to work and maybe having bubbleguts while dealing with people is not your recipe for a good day so you throw it into your purse or bag or whatever the fuck and move on. “Lunchtime” rolls around and as you do the mental gymnastics required to find the conclusion that food=energy in between bouts of fury over why your workday insists on starting at 8am and how you can’t seem to cope with falling asleep early enough for that not to matter, you remember your snickers bar. Reaching into whatever bag you put it and coming to the horrifying dread of realization that you left this bag in your car in fucking July, you find the sweet sugared respite in a corner. Squeezing it a bit just to test, you are surprised to not find it in the horrible (and yet delicious) state of melted confectionary. Your stomach grumbles a bit as you fidget with the perforated candy wrapper, vaguely thinking to yourself that it might be interesting to read the ingredients as you eat this thing like that isn’t going to fill you with inexplicable Eldritch dread. Nobody needs to know they are ingesting something that might have been made in a facility that also processes every other nut you can think of, delightfully shortened into “tree nuts”. I wonder if anyone has cross referenced all the allergen warnings to deduce which candies are made in the same factory, or if that information is just freely available. What if we kissed in the snickers production facility??? haha jk but...? Anyways, as your mind cycles through a list of stale memes you manage to unsheath this uncut chocolate delight from its wax(???) plastic prison and proceed to take your first, and arguably best, bite into this lunch. Your teeth sink softly into it, as you would expect. In fact, expectations haven’t really filtered into your skull soup you call a brain, so all manner of things can just slip through your recognition. Not this, however. Instead, fireworks of electric signals screaming “BITTER POISON” shock your brain from its previous state of vaguely functioning. Now you truly see the color of light, feel the air cocooning your skin, the squirm of your organs in your belly. Full panic ensues. You are not human, you are animal, and you have taken in a poison thing. You spit it out right there on your lap. You stare at the sad and ruined chocolate mutant nestled grossly in between your legs as your brain high fives itself for saving your life before frantically scouring your subconscious for whatever Vine gives it enough dopamine to not just fucking kill yourself right here. What happened? The fugue of panic washes your perceptions with a mixture of justifications for this travesty. It probably just went bad, but that didn’t taste spoiled (you consider yourself a mild expert having scraped clean many an old collection of halloween candy collections in August the year after the fact) so maybe it melted and rehardened? Baking stuff is weird so maybe that broke down some of its components. You pick it up (holy shit that is slimy. Of course its slimy, just touch it) and its insides look fine. I mean, how often do you examine the insides of a partially chewed bite of snickers? No weird colors. The remaining chocolate lasagna brick also looks exactly what you’d thought it be. You jokingly think to yourself that maybe you had a stroke but despite the apparent hilarity of that possibility you do the smile thing in the selfie camera of your phone. Everything seems fine, but now you’re getting mad that some turn of events has just ruined your perfectly good slab of sugar and fat that surely would have made the rest of the day bearable (and full of indigestion) Now that is a metaphor.

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nordic-breeze · 5 years

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I was going through my files and I came over this document I sent to my friend @distant-rain pretty much the same day I realized I had fallen in love with Arthur, after weeks of being in denial or shrugging off my daydreaming of this cowboy as nbd or thought experiments and boy was I confused.

I knew next to nothing about RDR1 when I wrote this December last year and I didn’t know much about RDR2 post chapter 2 either except for Arthur’s fate, which I had just learned of, and oml was I upset and confused. Though also scaringly accurate about certain things.

Now over six months later, I love this cowboy even more. And I kept true to my word. If anyone wanna read the rambings of a fangirl who had just found her new obsession be my guest.

I was blown away by how massive this game is. The level of detail is incredible and I greatly appreciate the effort put into creating this world. Yeah, we’ve all heard about the horse testicles shrinking in cold weather but it’s not like it’s just one bizarre detail being essentially a dick joke in an otherwise average game. No, RDR2 is detailed enough that it actually makes sense to add in peculiarities like that. The amount of wildlife alone, I mean, ever since the PS2 era I’ve been used to seeing animals in games but R* created whole-ass ecosystems in RDR2, several of’em, from snowy mountains to marshlands, with animals that act so much like actual animals. Just listening to the birds singing, it’s like being out in an actual forest!

Characterization is another thing that amazed me, in particular the protagonist. I knew nothing about the first RDR when started playing RDR2, nor did I know anything about RDR in general other than it was western-themed and made by the GTA-guys. I expected somewhat of a similar characterization as GTA where every character is a stereotype or a caricature. I genuinely liked GTAV’s story for what it was and even though every character was more or less an asshole, some of them were also weirdly likeable and even earned my sympathy (and hint of affection) occasionally.

But it never really went deeper than that nor was it particularly long-lasting (still way more than I expected tho). I bonded with one of the characters more than I thought I would but not nearly as much as I would had the characters felt more like actual humans and not like the epitome of stereotypes. But it is what R* wanted and it worked. I expected the RDR2 characters to be the same but to my surprise the characters, especially Arthur, are fleshed out, complex, even relatable (depending on your actions I guess). Unlike GTAV, they act and react like actual human beings. Well, human beings that have lived their entire life (more or less) as outlaws. In a country and time period foreign to me. But still they felt human. Ofc I’ve not gotten to know any of the NPC’s as well as Arthur but from various missions and eavesdropping on their conversation I’ve gotten to know them a bit. Hosea is my favorite. He seems like a good man despite being an outlaw and I love how everyone goes to him for advice and how supportive he is. I also wish more people (esp a certain Dutch man) could listen to him more. I also really like Charles. He definitely got morals and could be a good influence on Arthur and the others. I haven’t seen much of Sadie yet, but think I’ll like her too. Lenny seems nice. That one scene when he and Arthur went out drinking together was absolutely brilliant! And lil Jack’s adorable ofc. Only one I don’t like is Micha or Miach or whathisname. I know no one in the van der Linde gang are saints but that guy is a total psychopath. I kinda wish Arthur had gotten his way there when he said they should just leave him in jail as he was nothing but trouble and it annoys me how Dutch is sticking up for him. Yeah, speaking of, not too fond of Dutch or that German guy either atm.

But all in all very impressed by the large open world, the level of details to well, everything and the characterization. Soundtrack is great, graphics are stunning, animations smooth, the horse-riding simulation is just extraordinary and you never know what’s gonna happen as you ride through the map. The amount and variety of random events and encounters are truly impressive. Often comical, like that wildlife photographer who keeps getting almost eaten up by the wildlife he’s trying to document, sometimes eerie like the serial killer side story, or sad like when Arthur met with his former love. Or a combination of said elements like the pig farmers I ran into. With no pigs. But were still veeery well fed. You know, when people are just a liiitle bit too friendly? That eerie feeling you get when you just know something’s wrong but you can’t quite put your finger on it. Until you can. I thought they were husband and wife I really did. You shoulda seen my face when I realized they were in fact brother and sister. Me and Arthur had the exact same face. They were living as husband and wife tho. Well, up until I killed them.

I also love the contrast between the more ‘modern’ world and the simpler life. I could go into town, buy food at the saloon and rent a room or take a bath at the hotel. Or I could ride a few mins out into the wilderness, hunt and gather my own food, cook it over a bonfire and sleep under the stars. Electricity exists, but people are still completely dependent on oil lamps and open flame. Trains and trams exist, cars have been invented, but people still mainly travel on horseback. This contrast between old and new as an era is ending and the modern era is about to begin has been an amazing experience considering the level of detail the game has. The colonization of the new land, which has been largely unknown to me, the contrast between this and modern-day America we see on TV. So many people did not even speak English, I often find abandoned buildings, or burnt-down buildings, some with bodies inside, leaving me wondering what happened to them, I found a ghost town whose inhabitants had been wiped out by a plague. It was tough for many I reckon.

In fact, I find the exploration of this foreign but also somewhat familiar, beautiful but harsh world and its many random events and encounters waaay more interesting than the actual main story itself, which is why it took me forever to reach chapter 3. In fact, the story is probably my least favorite part about RDR2, as backwards as it may sound. I’ve never been into western stories or aesthetics, and I’m certainly NOT into the whole ‘outlaws till the end’ stuff ugh. I fail to sympathize with the whole ‘boo-hoo the world no want outlaws like us no more it’s unfair’. Ugh, go cry me a fucking river. And then go get a job. A real job. Yeah, I get it that adapting to society is tough, life’s tough deal with it and stop preying on others. Wow, robbing two trains in short time and staying in the same fucking area actually has consequences, I’m so shook!

So yeah, story-wise I don’t quite ‘get it’ and Dutch is really starting to get on my nerves, which is probably why I prefer to just ride off alone and experience the world. I guess RDR2 story will rely heavily on being torn between gang loyalty and your own morality and principles but since I have virtually no concept of group loyalty that is all lost on me. My own morals and principles all the way. I’m like, ‘these people suck, take Hosea, Charles, Sadie, Tilly (maybe John Marston and his family) and leave these bitches behind’.

At the beginning, I did kinda liked Dutch. He seemed genuinely sorry for Sadie, took her in and saved her life, even if it meant another mouth to feed in dire times. And he showed Kiran mercy despite hating the O’Driscol’s. But as I’ve progressed thought the game, his grand speeches about sticking together, sticking with him, slowly but surely has turned from pep-talk to keep people’s spirit up to sounding like a cult leader desperate to keep his following no matter the cost. Yesterday when I was playing, I overheard him quote some quasi-philosophy book to Lenny and used the words to twist them into his own convictions to support his decisions. And when Lenny objected, Dutch literally said ‘you’re breaking my heart, kid’. Wow Dutch, talk about manipulating your protégé.

It was the mission when those lawmen approached Arthur as he was fishing with Jack that really made me consciously see Dutch in a new light. Up until then, RDR2 had mostly been fun and games but that conversation left me feeling a bit uneasy. But I just figured it was the main story finally picking up pace and also, I figured I was near the end of the chapter. I carried on, suddenly eager to see what would happen and was thoroughly surprised by how the chapter ended. In a bad way.

While both chapter 2 and chapter 3 begins with a ‘new start’ vibe, chapter 3 felt very different from chapter 2. Mostly it was that feeling that Dutch’s obsession with ‘sticking to this life’ is going to get people killed. Idk, it’s this eerie feeling something’s wrong but can’t quite put my finger on it-feel again. But thanks to internet being internet I already knew some spoilers so I couldn’t help but to look up something and… well, let me put it this way. I’m never going to finish this game. Ever. It breaks my heart because in so many ways it’s truly an amazing game and a fantastic experience. But I’m just not that into the story, I don’t like where it’s heading and I don’t want to see what’s coming to character(s) I’ve come to care deeply about.

I still want to explore the world more, see what unfolds, do more challenges, add stuff to my compendium, maybe get some trophies… but I doubt I’ll ever progress much story-wise. Quite the contrary, I might reload an earlier save and just stay in chapter 2 forever.

(wrtten a couple of days later)

Seems my instincts was right on the money, esp concerning Dutch. Sad thing, I do believe he is sincere. In the first few chapters at least. He is manipulative but I also believe he’s convinced himself that he’s doing the right thing. And then his obsession will eventually get the better of him and when people and the lifestyle is slipping away from him, he doesn’t handle it well at all. Ugh, it’s so frustrating, I just wanna gather all my favs and yell: “leave nooow, before it’s too late!

It’s not for the sake of spacing it out or making it last. I just don’t want to progress in the story at all. I hated losing Horseshoe Overlook. HATED IT HATED IT HATED IT!!!! Yes the new place is beautiful, yes I know it’s the life of the outlaws and RDR2 does show that life for better and for worse whereas most stories tend to romanticize the whole thing, yes as outlaws they can’t stay for too long in one place. But as mentioned I have a hard time sympathize with and immerse myself into that lifestyle. Yes, I got all my upgrades and a whole new area to explore, a bigger nearby town, and closer to that big city. Still hated it. Horseshoe Overlook was my place. The Heartlands was home. And the view was stunning! And I liked Valentine. It was small and dirty but I had good memories from there. Until I had to shoot up half the town. My motivation for continuing the main story is at absolute zero.

It was more what the transition represented, I guess. You never know what will happen in RDR2. And it’s true, for random encounters, and many of the individual missions. But when it comes to the story as a whole, I feel like I already now can predict how it’ll play out. Every chapter begins with the gang on the move, finding a place to settle down and have a fresh start, even chapter 1 (as they were on the run bc a heist gone wrong or something). Then they settle down, go into town to get to know the area and establish connections and looking for easy money, often at the expenses of others. X random events later, they get too overconfident or careless, screws up or get hunted down, it ends with a shootout, then they are on the run again, finds a new place to settle down where Dutch promises that THIS TIME IT WILL BE DIFFERENT until they’re wanted on the entire map and can’t go anywhere cos the wild west is ending. I really liked it at Horseshoe Overlook and whenever Im in that area again I’ll just get sad.

I had no idea I’d gotten so emotionally invested so I was really surprised at how much I disliked moving camps and all. I’ve also gotten so fond of Arthur. I was so busy with exploring, doing challenges, learning to hunt etc I didn’t even realize it happening. Until one scene had me almost tearing up! I think because, we as the player really have to look out for him. Even though I make sure that he eats regularly, he’s still underweight. When out riding I usually set up camp when night falls so that Arthur can get some rest. Something I’d never think about in any other game. And I always give him coffee in the morning. Then it’s his journal that gives such valuable insight into who he truly is as a person. There’s no doubt he’s so much more than just a mere outlaw. He writes surprisingly well and is open and is surprisingly honest about his thoughts and feelings. How torn he is between the life of an outlaw and wanting to be a better man, a better person. How he admired Charles because, for him it was ‘so easy to just be good’ whereas he himself always feel torn between good and evil. And his journal entries when he meets his long-lost love Mary and saves her brother from the cultists. The expression on his face as he said goodbye to her on the train station… how utterly heartbroken he was… how she still loved him too… man, that one tore at my heart. Still does when thinking about it.

I wish I could take Hosea, Charles, Sadie, Tilly, John’s family and maybe Lenny too with me, run off and start anew. Charles would have good influence on Arthur and encourage him to turn his life around and find his place in society and encourage John to be a better father and role model for Jack and they could all learn how to live as free men and women without robbing or hurting anyone (unless they deserve it). Like, Charles is an excellent hunter and tracker. He’d totally get enough food for the gang and maybe even enough to sell. He could train Jack too. Hosea was always more of a conman/grifter than a brute/robber. He could con bad guys or rich assholes Robin Hood style. If anyone gave him grief, John and Arthur would settle the score. Arthur could sell animal pelts and John could take up carpeting. They’d be such a happy lil family. But, RDR1 is yet to happen so it’s all just wishful thinking *sigh*

#red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan #the ramblings of a fangirl #about me

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