And so, the last Bad Batch Eve falls upon us.
It is surreal to think that a show that has meant so much to me for three years will come to an end. I've talked about how meaningful TBB is to me many times, and I most certainly will in the future, but I didn't want to pass on the opportunity to do it on the last Bad Batch Eve we'll officially have.
The night before Aftermath premiered, I'd struggled with some pretty bad anxiety. In the weeks following after that and throughout the first season, I dealt with depression and anxiety being diagnosed as well as an ear infection the doctor attributed to said mental illnesses. I went through a pretty bad breakup. The lockdowns were at their peak where I was. But despite that being a rough time, I also vividly remember being in my room at home, my favorite place in the world, eating my favorite food and drinking my favorite relaxing tea, hearing it rain outside, wearing my favorite hoodie and my PJs, watching/rewatching those season 1 episodes. Seeing Crosshair deal with the inhibitor chip seemed to echo some of what I was going through, i.e. having something in your head you couldn't really control. I wondered how afraid he must have felt, and I sympathized with him.
During S2, as Crosshair was off with the Empire, I was off living in my hometown the first time, away from my true home and my family, and I have to admit I was very lost during that time. I did make mistakes. I did return home, and I left it again, albeit now more ready, more prepared, more stable. But it was still a second time leaving home.
S3 Crosshair has all but solidified my intent in going back home and not freaking leaving and I really hope the day in which I can return home to my family the way he did is sooner rather than later. Seeing him grow, own up to his mistakes, forgive and be forgiven, learn to control what's in his head, and heal, feels like a very fitting peak to a journey, a journey that had and still has its ups and downs.
And let's not forget the writing and the fandom. I have written things I didn't think I'd write, things I've loved so much that part of me wants to go back in time and rewrite to experience the joy of doing it all over again (looking at Moonlight here lol). I have also made gifs, which I didn't ever imagine doing! I edited music videos and crack meme compilations, which I had wanted to do for years. Fear not, I'll keep doing all of that - slowly, yes, but not with any less love. Y'all are stuck with me. 😁🩷
And as if all I've mentioned wasn't already very valuable, I cannot forget all the beautiful, wonderful, amazing people I've met because of this show. People who I've learned from, laughed with, cried with, fangirled with, gamed with... every single one of you has been the icing on the cake, the lattice on the pie, the parmesan on the pasta. You have all truly made this worth it and make me love being in the fandom. You give what I do a greater purpose, and you have become people I am happy to call moots and friends. I am over the moon that this show allowed me to cross paths with you. @photogirl894 @rebekadjarin @darthzero22 @arctrooper69 @jedi-hawkins @stardustbee @s-pirth-lemonade @eloquentmoon @sageislostinspring @nahoney22 @freesia-writes @kimageddon @emperor-palpaminty @rainydaydream-gal18 @imabeautifulbutterfly @paperback-rascal @pankeki-25 @dragonrebelrose @dragonrider9905 @questforgalas @lightwise @zoruui @nunanuggets @misogirl828 and everyone else 🩵
I love The Bad Batch and what it's done for my life in so many aspects. I love these characters for their growth and because they were there for me when nobody was, and because they brought me to so many amazing people. I am grateful that this show exists and I cannot wait to keep creating all the stuff I have planned, writing or otherwise.
Thank you, Clone Force 99, and thank you everyone for being a part of this journey!
🩷🌙
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Tag, you are on it!
Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x GN!Reader
Summary: Miguel finds you and Gabriella playing on the backyard. Based on the comic Tag - Pixie and Brutus by @pet_foolery
Warning tags: domestic bliss, fluff, happiness, feel good type, my bad attempt on writing comedy lol
Author's Notes: after being obsessed with this man over a year, i finally joined the fandom (its never too late i guess). hope you enjoy your reading!
Miguel arrives home exhausted from work, taking off his coat and loosening his tie. What an awful day! Between deadlines not being respected and useless meetings taking far too long, Miguel had to stay late to finish a sudden important project. He was fortunate enough to have you pick Gabriella up from school.
You met Gabriella after five months of dating Miguel(and almost two years of knowing each other). "A friend," Miguel explained the first time you met, nervous about his little girl's reaction—a sentiment you also shared, way more desperate for her approval.
Everything went so well; even Miguel felt a little jealous of you, watching his daughter gravitate in your personal space the entire night. Especially when, before you left, he noticed Gabriella waving so you could kneel on her level. She covered your ears with her small hands, whispering as you nodded. Miguel observed quite anxiously, his eyes focused on any reaction. You just opened an enigmatic smirk as if you were teasing him that you could win his daughter so quickly.
Three months after this, Gabriella suddenly asked on a Saturday morning why you hadn't moved in yet, almost causing Miguel to drop the breakfast plate with scrambled eggs he had prepared. You and Miguel tried to explain that you still haven't talked about it yet, and adults can be complicated sometimes.
Besides being Gabriella's new favorite play partner, Miguel hadn't tried to insert you into their daily routine. Not because he didn't trust you, just...Miguel just had to take things slower. His main priority would always be Gabriella, her well-being and happiness. Inserting you into their routine would make it hard for both if you and him didn't work out. And you agreed, understanding as you always were: Gabriella should always be the top priority.
As it happened on one of your previous dates when the nanny called, informing Gabriella had gotten a sudden fever and had puked once. You urged Miguel to leave, telling him you would solve everything at the restaurant. Miguel was so surprised when you appeared in the house thirty minutes late, still dressed in your date clothes, with anxious eyes on the little girl in his arms. You stayed that night, ensuring to leave only after Gabriella's fever got down as she slept in your arms - when she heard your voice, she opened her arms begging for you to hold her.
Gabriella was already too attached, and Miguel was too much in love. That's why he was still unsure when he asked you to pick her up.
When Miguel hears Gabriella's giggle from the backyard, his heart instantly warms. Your capacity to make her laugh made him jealous before. Now, it only makes him fall in love with you even harder. To think there was ever a time Miguel was terrified of what would happen if Gabriella didn't like you.
He follows his favorite sound in the world, his body relaxing. You two seem to be playing tag: Gabriella never seems to catch you, but she doesn't seem to mind just having fun as you run away in the middle of his vast backyard, both barefoot. Miguel slowly joins his daughter, kneeling on her side as she hugs him tightly, all sweaty. "Papi! We are playing a tag game."
"I noticed."
"I don't seem to be able to tag back, though," Gabriella replies, confused in her innocence. As if she could with her small legs. You are still turned around from them, probably catching your breath, unaware of Miguel's presence yet. An idea pops on his mind.
"Tag me."
"What?"
"Tag me." Miguel offers his hand, opening a smile. Gabriella opens a big grin, tagging him.
"So, have you given up, Gabi?" You, still in the middle of the backyard, turn around with a playful smile. It completely disappears from your face as you watch Gabriella tag Miguel instead, your boyfriend slowly raising. A dangerous smile on his lips warning you to run.
You only have one second to react, too slow already, as Miguel starts sprinting in your direction as Gabriella encourages him, excited. Your lungs complain as you run away from him, feeling Miguel hot at your heels. It is the only time you will probably curse his long and strong legs.
You give a quick look over your shoulder, panicking. Miguel has that intense, wild look in his eyes, the one you see when he is determined to get what he wants: to get you. You ignore how your body feels and wonder if you shouldn't just jump in the pool (what a joke, Miguel was a great swimmer as well).
"Behind you." It is the last thing you hear before Miguel pounces on you, managing to do it gently to a round of cheers from Gabriella.
You both fall to the floor, and Miguel turns you around with a frown. "Were you going to jump in the pool?"
"Who, me? Nooo. So you could swim and catch me?!"
"Liar! You were about to jump in the pool!"
"As a distraction, only! You would have jumped straight after me anyway."
"Oh, I would have." He is serious, you know that.
With his body thoroughly pressed against yours, you hug him, "Missed you. How was work?"
“Terrible. As always.”
"As always." You agree, watching his expression change. Miguel suddenly becomes aware of how your body is pressed against his, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks. He tries to get away from you, but you don't let him, your arms locking him down, a malicious smile on your face.
"Don't…"
"I am not doing anything."
"Not in front of-"
"Miguel, I am not doing anything!" You giggle, the sensation of a victory spreading against your chest. "You know, I wouldn't do anything in front of-"
You both look toward where Gabriela was standing before to find nothing there. Before you two can even untangle, Gabriella jumps on her father's back, startling you both.
"Tag!"
She immediately jumps away, giggling as she runs inside the house. Miguel sighs, not before your hand cups his cheek so you can look at him. "I will keep her company. It is fine."
"I don't want to impose-"
"Miguel, it is not an imposition. She likes me better anyway."
Miguel gets up from the floor, helping you stand as you watch Gabriella hide behind the sofa, her messy hair and eyes peeking out.
"Are you going to…stay?" Miguel wonders, his tone soft.
"Of course I will. Maybe we can repeat this tag game after Gabriella is asleep?" You offer, bluntly teasing him. "With much less clothes."
You smirk, watching Miguel's mouth drop open. Gabriella calls your name again and you give him a peck on the cheek, before running away to her direction.
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L - words
Loneliness. Just another L - word.
It is raining again, November descending heavy upon the world like an omen - good or bad, such a thing was not for mere mortals to decide. Just like the oh-so-many Novembers that slithered their serpentinely long days over the lives of men.
...There it is, the familiar whirring of the computer fans, the blue gleam of the screens in the semi-obscurity of the otherwise austere room, the rhythmical clatter as his fingers run over the keyboard, his mind waging its endless war against the famished darkness of injustice. There he is, my beloved L.
It is no longer just a game for him, not after almost twenty years. If I'm to be honest, I don't believe it was ever that simple, no matter how many times I've heard it, from him, from Near, from Mello - it still hurts to think of Mello, and i guess it always will. That is not a wound L will ever heal from.
He is still gorgeous to me. It's like time barely touched him at all, if not for the little smattering of grey at his temples and the glasses he's still pretending to forget. His posture is less rigid in front of the computers - the orthopedic pillows I bought him seem to be doing their job.
"Maeve?" he calls out to me, his voice the same low monotone. "Could you please bring me some warm tea, if you can?"
He holds his favorite cup out to me, barely glancing at me for one second - he knows I'm here. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't feel more...taken for granted, the way he's only emerging from his cocoon in his own good time. But when he does emerge, there's so much warmth and care he clads me in, that I'm never left wondering about what's in his heart.
"Thank you," he smiles, as his fingers close around mine after I bring his...sugar with tea - yet another thing that has remained the same.
"Will you be long tonight?" I ask him, my hand warm on his still hunched shoulders.
He just hums in response, taking a long sip of his tea. "Just...reflecting."
I know what he's reflecting on. It's not like, tonight of all nights, the thought would be far from my mind as well. But it's him I need, his closeness as an antidote against the crimson speckles of fear neither of us was quite able to shake.
"Reflecting on....Kira?" I ask, the name leaving its familiar vitriol taste in my mouth.
"Amongst other things" L admits. "It feels like a lifetime ago, yet the shadows it cast..."
"...they linger." I finish his sentence. There's a tremor in my voice that I don't even try to hide - I swore never to hide from him anyway. "It's been almost twenty years and I still...I still hear that damned teaspoon falling...."
In less than a blink, L swivels towards me and buries his face against my body, his arms wrapping around me with a sort of childlike desperation. "I still...dream about him looking down on me as I..." his voice cracks and breaks, and I have to keep my heart from doing the same. I hold him close, my fingers tracing soothing patterns over his back and shoulders.
"I know..." I bury my face in his hair. "I can hear you some nights... But we won, L. In the end, you were the light. You still are."
He breaks away, allowing me to slide in the soft plush chair he always keeps as his side, for me, and his hand casually reaching for a green macaron (his favorite) tells me that his inner world has almost shifted back on its rightful axis.
"I never imagined I'd be grateful to Light, you know," he mutters, amused at the way my eyes have surely narrowed on instinct. "Of course, not for the horrors, but..." he trails off.
"But it brought us together." As always, it falls on me to form the words to the thoughts he cannot express. "Which means we won twice, eh?"
He smiles again. "Remind me to never place you in undercover work," he snickers. "Unless you'd actually be supposed to impersonate someone Canadian, that is," he continues apologizingly, making me laugh as I steal one of his cookies in mock revenge.
......And in this brief moment in the grand scheme of things, all is well.
Life. Laughter. Love. All so many beautiful L - words.
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