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#ive actually been putting this on my tags for a while now but have only made it into a post now
darlingbudsofrae · 27 days ago
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Remember Chapter 14, TKM— that scene in the hotel when Andrew bursted in, slowly peeling the bandages off Neil's face— his face still devoid of emotions.
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Reading that, all I could think about was that scene where Neil asked Andrew to break his deal with him, having no idea Neil said that because he was going to get kidnapped and die and didn't want him involved because he is the martyr no one asked for, how Neil told him he wanted to go back for him and Andrew repeating pipe dream, pipe dream, pipe dream over and over in his head to ground himself. He tells Neil to not go back to him crying with a broken face, probably expecting him to run away from him now that they weren't bounded by a deal.
But Neil did came back— covered in bandages and gauze, a new set of wounds and scars and a huge nasty burn by his cheek almost nearing his eye, and Andrew plays that memory on the bus on loop as he stares at his rabbit, he probably remembers all those tics he took note of that seemed out of place, how Neil gave him that stupid smile when he considered and gave in, breaking a deal and a promise for the first time in his entire life— and he couldn't stop his mind from playing it over and over as he stares at him because when has his eidetic memory ever been so forgiving?
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fluidfae · a year ago
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Bro...
#i miss talking to people sfm#like its just radio silence for me all the time and ion if that's like smth i can rly fix at this point lmao#like ive pmuch forced myself to be that lone wolf again and while its lk driven me mad like it aint new shit rly#but like its rare for someone like me to be that one boi who gets a text first rather then bein the one who always iniates convos#like....98% of the time im the one who starts them but like...its i dont the. well ykno....radio silence#i guess what I'm tryin say is like the end of 2017-mid 2018 was probably the least lonliest Ive been in a while and i rly fuckin miss it lo#normally i would start talking 2 ppl again..instead now i feel thats purposeless& im certain ppl who actually do respond..its out of pity#cos man who dosent know that im lonely af & deprived of any sort of mutual understanding w other human beins in this world at this point??#and rly who wanna be vibin w some unrelatable freakshow like this mf word hurlin in the tags like jfc my self awareness just...wooosh#like i cannot express enough how much the raw alienation from practically every1 in my life in 2020 so far has fuckin destoryed me again#its like im reliving 2016 but instead it feels like the whole planet rather than 70% of it lmao#but hey at least this time i got a crazy fulltime job & some weed so theres like 2 distractions that pretty much kept me alive all this tim#so yeah i miss being able to talk to ppl with the absence of *theyre only putting up w me cps they know aint anybody else gonna* thoughts#i miss feeling like i belonged anywhere in general and knowing damn well im pretty much never ever gonna have that again tbh#it sucks...i hate it but like whatever man 3-13 & 15-18 year old me surivived it so like whats the difference now lol#but aint nobody heard this lbr so like....anyways back to acting like everything's totally fine and good again and not hurtful as hell lmao
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aceofsexuality · a year ago
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When i say ‘i spent a week on something’ what it really means is that i finished 95% of it in one night and spent the rest of the week trying to get the motivation to finish it
#ok so i meant to post this like 2 weeks ago when this actually happened which is a testament to my statement#but also i still havent finished said wip although i legit only have to draw a singular foot but i suck at shoes so im putting it off#in the meantime i have joined a new fandom and am drawing that a bunch and have ANOTHER wip thats taking all time up for the first one#and ive found a new band i love but thats kinda irrelevant#and i still have so many ideas which i havent had in ages and its making me happy djsjosal buy also this new wip has been halted bc i cant#draw legs and also the otHER EYE NDKSKABDOSL#anyway also keep getting distracted#one example are these tags that probably no one will read but im writing them anyway#but in the process of writing this post my cat meowed and i meowed back and he came running so obvs i had to spend time w him#and then i cleaned my nightguard while thinking ab the tags id put on this post#but THEN when i sat down to finish writing it my brained went skkkkkkkkkkk and i ended up reading some fanfic until i just remembered#and wrote all these tags#this is way too long also but djsks sksmabdkslal#anyway now its midnight and it legitimately took me like half an hour to an hour to write a tiny post that prob no one will see anyway#also i keysmash way too much but i have no other way to express my emotions so#someone pls help my brain is wrong or sm WHY am i still writing these FUCKING TAGS FNKDHSOAL#drawing#artist#art problems#relatable#artist problems#honestly idk what proper tags to put to get this seen 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️#ive been listening to a song on loop for three hrs hhhhh#ok bye im so sorry if u actually read all of these u wasted so much time on my dumbness#OKAY and now i had to edit this bc i spelt foot wrong in the tags and my heart cant take it
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purearcticfire · a year ago
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.. .. .
#ha ha time to vent in the tags!#but seriously where is this coming from#i’ve always been weird about eating at times but id always eventually eat something#id be actually hungry but my brain would just be like ‘no’ but id still feel it physically#now my appetite is so fucked up and i legit forget to eat bc i dont feel hungry even though im expending more physical energy than i have#in months#or i do feel hungry but its hours later than i should and i tell myself ill eat at the next meal time and then ill be sitting there#actually hungry now and i still dont make myself get up and eat#and ive got this thought in the back of my mind that i need to earn food like where the fuck is that coming from#i havent been eating as much for a while and i know psych side aside a lot of it has to do with my invisalign bc its a whole process of#taking them out when i want to eat and only having a certain amount of time to do so before i have to brush my teeth and put them back in#and obviously i cant brush my teeth just anywhere even in public bathrooms now bc of the pandemic so it limits my ability to snack#fuck what is wrong with me#its been almost twenty four hours since i ate anything now and i can feel my stomach doing things but im still just lying in bed!!#what the fuck what the fuck#i swear if this is actually a subconscious anxiety thing about me worrying about affording food i will riot with my brain#cast it out once and for all#@ my brain you have a meal plan please use it!!#delete later
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relaxxattack · 5 months ago
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hi im asking u this bc u seem to be bee duo enthusiast so
ive been calling c! beeduos relationship platonic because i thought that was what their cc’s said, and i thought they had said that they were uncomfortable with ppl shipping the characters. But ive seen a lot of posts that say their relationship is canonically romantic? and i absolutely do not want to come across as homophobic by watering down a mlm relationship to just friends because that happens so much in media so.
what is the canon state of their relationship / ur opinions on the platonic thibg
dont worry abt answering if u dont want to!! i see a lot of differing opinions and i trust yours :)
aw it’s totally fine, im flattered you asked me about this!
let me put it simply: it’s a whole mess, lol.
first im going to talk about what’s happened fandom-wide that caused differing opinions, and then i’ll explain my own opinion/interpretation. :]
(this got really fucking long im so sorry)
ranboo and tubbo initially proclaimed the relationship was romantic, specifically in argument with the wiki editors who had set it as platonic by default. (you can see this in the vod where they decide they’re canonically married— it’s very funny. chat tells them the marriage is already on the wiki, they check, tubbo is jokingly offended that it says platonic and asks if he needs to up the romance).
tubbo also makes jokes about adultry, which sort of implies the relationship is not necessarily a platonic one.
(theres definetly more in that stream alone but it’s been a long time since i watched it so i don’t remember a lot of it.)
the wiki, because of this, suffers from going back and forth on platonic and romantic, seemingly unsure where the joke ends and the canon begins, or if its canonically a joke! a mess, as you can already tell.
this gets more complicated as the marriage bit goes on: outsiders, such as phil and scott, both at one point say “platonic marriage”, which then ranboo and tubbo agree with. however, when chat asks them if they’re platonic, they say the opposite. so there is a lot of confusion there.
there’s also the difficulty of being able to tell streamers and characters apart. ranboo and tubbo both don’t like being shipped irl, and that’s their boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. (they’re also minors, but tbh when they’re 18 in a year i will still be following their boundaries regardless of their legal age).
due to people not wanting to be accused of minor shipping, they started adding the platonic tone indicator to most of their drawings— basically a way of saying “no homo”. meanwhile, tubbo frequently on stream flirts with ranboo and makes quite a bit of nsfw comments towards him that are frankly hilarious.
this goes on for a while with nobody really sure what’s canon, but a lot of people assuming it’s probably platonic, until: the drama of the mods night. a few mods dmed all the wiki editors telling them ranboo wanted his canon character relationship officially set to platonic.
unfortunately for those mods; the very same day, a few hours later, ranboo on stream makes fun of puffy delivering him and tubbo “friendship flowers”. because, and i quote, “bruh. we’re literally married. this must be how the ancient greeks felt.”
in case you don’t know, the internet often jokes about how historians will call ancient greeks ‘very good friends’ when they are quite obviously gay. so in this context, ranboo is joking that people will call him and c!tubbo, who are married, “close friends”, when he doesn’t think they are.
basically, ranboo canonized romantic bee duo, the very same day the mods told everyone he’d wanted a platonic one.
chaos and drama immediately erupted everywhere. on tumblr, we were talking about how weird it was of his mods to do something like that without asking him first. we ALSO talked about how weird it was of them to assume that ranboo can’t make his own decisions, or assume teenagers cannot be in relationships without it being sexual. twitter did the same thing but in the opposite direction: called ranboo mods homophobic, or said they were mad ranboo felt pressured into making a romantic relationship canon ‘just so people could have mlm rep.’
i dont want to go into detail about the drama that happened that night because apparently official people follow me and i dont want to stir it up or have them come “clarify” things. im just saying what we talked about.
ranboo in typical ranboo fashion apologized quickly and seriously. he was deeply sorry for possibly offending anyone with how he’d portrayed his rp relationship with tubbo, and he also assured everyone the mod thing was just a miscommunication.
he said he would talk to tubbo and they’d decide once and for all whether it was platonic or romantic, and then announce so everyone would know.
it’s now been a few months and we've had no word from them on that development. we still have no clue.
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now, here’s my opinion:
i want to take ranboos word for it that it was a miscommunication with his mods, but... we had it on good authority from people on the wiki team and people in the discord with the mods that (while it was happening) they were really going after the wiki admins, and also made some weird comments about it. that combined with the way ranboo seemingly had no clue (considering he canonized their romance that very same day).... it’s very. sus of the mods.
then there’s the canon we’ve got since then. although occasionally adults in the room have called it a “platonic marriage” and tubbo once (back when it first started) called it a “plankton tectonic” marriage, in roleplay it’s been... kind of not that. tubbo and ranboo make nsfw jokes about each other in character, and their characters also share a master bedroom and bed in the mansion. there's also the way c!tommy really thinks it’s a romance between them as well, and they agree with and play off that— for instance confirming that they “fell in love” when he asked, or ranboo confirming that they “make out on occasion”.
people will still put platonic on their art and posts, imo, because they’re worried about breaking ranboo and tubbo’s irl boundaries by looking like they ship them. or even just being accused of shipping real life minors. and that’s a valid fear to have.
the thing is though: c!bee duo are not cc!bee duo. they’re roleplay characters. cc!bee duo are not okay with being shipped, but they made their characters get canonically married, and call each other “husbands”. so it’s okay to write the word “husband” in your comic without adding “platonic” to it, i promise.
telling the ccs that their characters have to be platonic is... weird. it comes off as not only babying them, but also as saying teens can’t date without it being gross. which isn’t true.
(this is why seeing people overuse “platonic husband” so much bothers me. like, they ARE husbands. you can just say it. what are you trying to hide...?)
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do i think they’re canonically romantic? ehh, its likely. it’s still okay to interpret them as platonic, because again, it’s hard to tell where jokes end and roleplay begins. like, maybe it’s jokes in the rp too, and c!bee duo are just friends. friends can and should be allowed to make jokes like that with each other! aro & ace marriages exist!
or, maybe it’s actually part of the rp, and they’re very much romantic. we don’t know!
some people say they could be a qpr (queerplatonic romance), which i could see. (a qpr is a relationship that fluctuates between, or can’t quite be sorted into, “romantic” and “platonic”. people in a qpr can do romantic things while having platonic feelings for each other). in my opinion this is a very valid interpretation as well!
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CONCLUSION (sorry this got so long omfg):
are c!bee duo romantic?
its likely, but you can still interpret them however you like!
should i put /p on bee duo content?
ehhh? i find it annoying when it’s overused (as do others), but if you’re worried you can. its up to preference. putting it too much is weird though
should i put /p on things cc! bee duo do?
no. you’re not the one saying it so you can’t decide the tone tags for that. imagine you said something to your friend and a random stranger came up and was like “haha but that was /p right...?”
can i ship c!bee duo?
mmm. i’m not sure on this one. they are canonically married and very flirtatious, but the ccs don’t like being shipped and they’re close enough to being the ccs that actively shipping might be against boundaries.
can i treat c!bee duo as romantic?
yes. literally just don’t be weird about it. it’s not that hard! you can understand that two characters are husbands without making it weird
here’s the most important thing: boundaries. cc bee duo still haven’t told us what their preferences and canon is about this whole thing.
right now, i am assuming based on what they already show us they’re comfortable with, but! the second they give us any more info! all these opinions will change!
i am only going off what they do. i would never want to cross boundaries at all. i just wish they would make theirs a little more clear.
..... i hope that helped anon, i went way off the rails... i need to go to sleep.
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agustdakasuga · 5 months ago
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Between The Bloodshed | Epilogue
Genre: Mafia!AU, Angst, Romance, Fluff
Pairing: OT7 x Reader
Characters: Doctor!Reader, Gangster!Namjoon, Gangster!Seokjin, Gangster!Yoongi, Gangster!Hoseok, Gangster!Jimin, Gangster!Taehyung, Gangster!Jungkook
Summary: Being a freelance doctor, this was just supposed to be any other job, helping a private client and taking care of him through his recovery. But you were not expecting to get caught in something so much darker that would change your life entirely.
At this point, what can be considered normal? 
Warning: This story is fictional and has nothing to do with real life events or the actual members of BTS. It may contain depictions of violence, blood shed/ gore and mentions of abuse. Please read at your own discretion.
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It was a nice late morning. The sun was shining but thankfully, it was blocked out by the dark curtains. It was nice and quiet, only the sounds of your breathing as you slept peacefully. There were no alarm clocks or phone calls-
*BANG BANG BANG*
“Yoongi hyung! You’ve been holding onto her for hours! She needs to come out!” Taehyung was banging on the door. You could hear Jungkook, Jimin, Hoseok and Jin there too. 
“Yeah! She needs to work!” 
That was a lie. After coming back from performing Geumjae’s surgery yesterday, the boys had insisted you take a break since it was a long, gruelling surgery. But then again, the others would do anything to get the pale man to open the door for them. 
“Just keep quiet and they’ll go away soon.” Yoongi grumbled, holding you tighter, totally unaffected by the screams. 
“No, we won’t!” Seems that they heard him. 
“Come on, I have to get up.” You patted his back. He tucked you into the crook on his neck like a mother holding her child. His cheek pressed against the top of your head as he huffed. 
“You don’t have to get up. It’s your day off.” He murmured. You giggled, arm slinging around him in defeat. 
“That’s my girl.” He kissed your head. 
“That’s it! I don’t hear movement! Either get the keys or Jungkook, kick the door down.” You heard more commotion outside. Everyday was a chaotic day in the Bangtan household. 
“Ugh, hang on a sec.” Yoongi got out of bed, ready to give them an earful. But the moment he opened the door, he was mowed down by everyone else as they approached you, who was on the bed. You welcomed them with open arms and they piled on, engulfing you in big hugs and smiles. Yoongi stood there, glaring at you.
“Yah! Get off!” Yoongi shouted. 
“Okay.” They willingly slipped off the bed, which was surprising. Until Jungkook scooped you up into his arms, running out of the room. He cackled evilly while you yelped, arms tightened around his neck in fear. 
“I’m hom- What...” Namjoon stopped in the doorway when he saw what was going on. You have him a pleading look.
“Kook, let her down now.” Namjoon frowned. As much as you liked to play around and have fun with the boys, sometimes, all you would like is a peaceful morning. 
“With all due respect, hyung. If you try to take my baby away from me, I will actually fight you.” Jungkook said. 
“Rich coming from the guy who took her from me. Fight him, Joon.” Yoongi snorted from the top of the stairs. Knowing that the boys will actually fight each other (which you do tell them is dumb), you pinched Jungkook’s pressure point, temporarily immobilising him. 
“Ah!” He yelped as he let go of you. You fell onto the couch, standing up and straightening Yoongi’s your hoodie. With a sigh, you headed over to Namjoon to properly greet him after his early morning meeting. 
“Welcome home.” You grinned. 
“Thank you, my love.” He wrapped an arm around you, leaning down to press a kiss to your cheek. 
“You’re bleeding!” Your eyes widened when you saw his knuckles. It looked exactly like Jungkook’s knuckles. Namjoon rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. Grabbing his wrist, you brought him to the office. 
“Love, I can patch it up. They’re small wounds. You’re supposed to be resting.” Namjoon told you. You shook your head while washing your hands. 
“Small wounds that can get infected, Joon. And I don’t need to rest much more, I knocked out like a light with Yoongi last night.” You chuckled, grabbing your first aid kit. You pulled your stool to sit in front of him and began to clean his wounds. The first thing you did was remove some of the dried blood that crusted on the side. 
“It’s gonna sting.” You said before putting the antiseptic. He winced slightly, his nose scrunching up. 
“You guys never get used to it.” You laughed. Once the wounds were cleaned, you bandaged his knuckles. You placed his hand in yours, inspecting his hand for more injuries. 
“You’re lucky you didn’t break anything again.” You lectured. 
“Because I have a doctor that takes good care of me.” Namjoon grinned. You shook your head, kissing his cheek. 
“Please, I already told you not to overwork them considering they just got better after you broke them. And you always scold the younger ones for not listening to me when you’re no better.” You teased. Namjoon laughed. 
“If I have you to take care of me, I will get injured more.” Namjoon hugged your waist. You flicked his forehead. 
“I dare you, Kim Namjoon.” You frowned. 
“Alright, alright. Namjoon looks good and patched up! Now it’s my turn, I want my morning kiss. Come here.” Jin yanked you away by your waist, dipping you down and showering you in kisses. You burst out laughing, grabbing onto his shirt so you won’t fall back.
“I’m going to get a coffee.” You shuffled away to the kitchen. The maids prepared your usual iced coffee. 
“Thank you.” You yawned and sipped before going back out. You sat on the couch and Jimin sat down, bringing your legs up to drape over his lap. When your phone buzzed, you took it out of your pocket to check. 
“Ah, I have to go check on Geumjae. He just woke up.” You announced. 
“But it’s your day off.” Hoseok said. 
“I know. But it’s the day after his surgery so I have to make sure he’s feeling alright and not having any complications, considering it was a major surgery.” You grunted as you stood up. You quickly finished your drink and went to change. Yoongi would be accompanying you, of course, to visit his brother. The other boys decided to tag along... just to not be left out. 
“You guys go grab a bite. I shouldn’t be too long.” You sent them a kiss as they dropped you off at the staff entrance. 
“We love you.” They said. 
“I love you all too.” You smiled and waved as they drove to the public parking. Slipping on your coat, you went to Geumjae’s private ward. He was awake, sitting up slightly and watching the television that was provided.
“Hey, got here as soon as I heard you were awake. Yoongi should be coming up soon, he’s parking the car.” You greeted. 
“Hey... Thanks again... for everything. Not just the surgery... but for making me realise my mistake. I’m so glad Yoongi and I are close again. It’s really all thanks to you.” He smiled weakly.
“Don’t mention it. How are you feeling?” 
“A little light headed. And sore.” His hand lightly touched his clothed chest where the surgery sutures were underneath. 
“That’s normal, considering the effects of the anaesthesia is wearing off. I’ll still put you on IV painkillers for the next day or two, until the wound starts to heal more and cause less pain. Can I check your wound?” You asked. He nodded and you unbuttoned his shirt to check the sutures. 
“Looks good. I’ll replace the gauze.” You removed the protecting gauze above the sutures and replaced it with a clean one. 
“Good news is we managed to remove the affected tissue. You still have to be on your medications for the next week? We will do a follow up biopsy after just to make sure we have completely eradicated the cancer.” You instructed. 
“Okay. Thank you.” He nodded as you buttoned his shirt up. 
“Hyung.” Yoongi came in. 
“Yoongi.” His brother greeted as you straightened up. You let Yoongi get closer to his brother as you removed your gloves and washed your hands. As they chatted, you checked his charts. 
“Take your time, Yoongs. I’ll go find the others.” You smiled. Yoongi nodded, reaching to peck your temple before sitting down to speak with Geumjae. You gave them privacy, exiting the room. You went to the nurse’s station to update Geumjae’s file. Although the surgery was tiring, you learnt a lot and was glad for the experience. 
“Mr Min in Room 32 should be in IV fluids until he’s no longer nauseated by the anaesthesia. Then move him to soft foods.” You told the nurse, who nodded her head and keyed in the instructions to the patient’s system profile. 
“Thank you!” You smiled and handed the file to her. You went to the vending machine to get a can coffee. 
“Hi, are you a doctor here?” Someone appeared. 
“Kinda?” You chuckled, pressing the button for your cold coffee. You weren’t gonna tell some stranger the long story about you being a private doctor to singular patient here. 
“I’m a new resident. Nice to meet you.” He held his hand out. You gave a small smile, shaking his outstretched hand. 
“You’re Dr (y/l/n)’s daughter right?” He asked and you nodded your head. 
“I look forward to working with you, sunbae. I know you did the recent lung cancer tissue extraction surgery, it was very knowledgeable and I learnt a lot.” He bowed. 
“Thanks... But I don’t actually work here as a mentor so you won’t see me around anymore. The other doctors are just as good, I’m sure of it. Everyone is trained and of professional calibre, you will learn a lot from them as well.” You were starting to get a little awkward by his overly enthusiastic disposition. 
“Baby, there you are.” A voice appeared and you saw your 6 other boyfriends there. They did not look pleased. 
“You took so long so we came to find you. We had to stop Kook from ordering everything on the cafeteria menu.” Jimin laughed. You shook your head at the maknae, who pouted. 
“I’m still a growing boy.” He argued. He wasn’t, actually. 
“Who’s this?” Jin raised an eyebrow. 
“Uh... He’s a new hoobae that works here.” You explained, realising that you hadn’t even learnt about this resident’s name. But it didn’t matter, you probably weren’t going to see him after this anyway. 
“Come, jagi. We should go.” Taehyung grasped your hand, glaring at the now scared boy. You shook your head, knowing exactly what they were doing. Even before you got together, the boys always said you were their partner just to keep other girls away. Vice versa, they branded themselves as your boyfriends to scare other guys away. 
“I-I have to go. Bye.” He bowed and scurried off. 
“You guys are horrible, you know that?” You folded your arms with a shake of your head. Hoseok grinned, leaning to peck your cheek. You reached over to straighten his blazer. 
“Oh, you’re still here.” Yoongi blinked, seeing the group of you there. You nodded your head. 
“Are you hungry? We bought you guys sandwiches.” Namjoon lifted the bags up. Instead of sitting there to eat, you ate in the van as Hoseok drove. 
“Here.” You gave some to Jungkook. 
“But you hardly ate any of it yourself.” He told you. You just shrugged, not really having the appetite to eat anything. Jungkook leaned forward to eat the last bit of the sandwich out of your hand. You would much rather have your coffee instead of the sandwich. 
“Shall we have barbecue tonight?” You asked the boys. 
“It’s been a while.” They nodded their heads. Hoseok detoured and went to the big supermarket. You split into 3 teams, Jin and Yoongi buying the meat, Hoseok and Namjoon drinks and you with the maknaes for everything else. 
“Buy a lot of meat, hyung!” Jungkook shouted to Jin as he placed his hands on your shoulders to push you to the other aisle. 
“Hyung wanted coarse salt for his shrimp. This or this?” Jimin held up both the boxes. You looked at both of them before pointing to one. He happily placed it into the cart. 
“Shall I make japchae?” You asked them. 
“Yes!” Taehyung cheered. You sent a message to Yoongi to pick up some beef for japchae from the counter for you. After that, you picked up some vegetables that would go into japchae. Jimin trailed after you obediently while Taehyung and Jungkook disappeared. Jungkook had reappeared with loads of bags of snacks in his arms. 
“Koo! That’s too much.” You chuckled at your now almost full cart, half filled with bags of chips. 
“But we need more snacks for our movie nights! And besides, Jin hyung and Taehyung hyung keep eating my snacks. This is so they won’t take mine.” Jungkook pouted. 
“Banana milk!” He quickly got distracted by the dairy section and ran off. 
“You know, I can see why people don’t believe our line of jobs sometimes and how Jungkook is supposedly our best fighter.” Jimin scoffed. 
“Well, take his banana milk and you’ll truly see how well he can fight.” You giggled as you placed some carrots and bell peppers into the cart. Taehyung came with 3 different ssamjang containers. 
“Tae, why are you getting so much? We won’t be able to finish them all in one night.” Jimin scolded.  
“But these are brands I haven’t tried before! So I wanna see which is the best. Then I’ll know to buy it next time!” Taehyung argued with his best friend. You shook your head and continued, Taehyung loved ssamjang. There’s no arguing in that. Jungkook came back with banana milk and cheese. 
“You want cheese rice?” You asked. 
“How did you know?!” 
“Koo, even if I’ve only been your girlfriend for a short while, I have lived with you longer. You practically breathe cheese rice.” You scoffed, offended. Jungkook bunny grinned, wrapping his arms around you. 
“Of course, you know me well.” He peppered kissed all over your cheek. When you were done, you went to meet the others. 
“Boys, I may not be specialising in hepatology but that amount of alcohol is definitely not good for you.” You raised an eyebrow at the amount of alcohol that was stacked in Namjoon and Hoseok’s cart. Totally not in a helping way, Taehyung even got a few bottles of his and Seokjin’s favourite plum wine to add in. You laughed. 
“We needed to stock the bar anyway. We promise not to drink so much.” Hoseok winked. 
“Yoongi hyung and Seokjin hyung are ready. They’ll meet us at the cashier.” Namjoon informed. You nodded your head and you all went to pay. 
“A big party?” He joked as he scanned. 
“You could say that.” You smiled, waiting to pay with the card that the boys had given you for ‘house’ items like their groceries and meals. But honestly, they just wanted an excuse to give you a card to spend on yourself. 
“You’re pretty.” He complimented. 
“Oh... Thanks.” You blushed. A sudden clear of the throat made you jump slightly. You turned to see Namjoon and Yoongi with stern looks on their faces. 
“Are you done yet, baby girl?” Yoongi emphasised on the pet name, which he never really uses at all. You blinked, still in slight shock. The cashier looked terrified suddenly, quickening his pace to finish scanning all your items. Namjoon wrapped an arm around your waist. 
“Love, later let the others load the van alright? Wouldn’t want you hurting yourself.” Namjoon smiled sweetly at you. 
“O...kay?” 
“Uh, payment please?” He squeaked. Before you could hand the card over, Yoongi plucked it out of your hand and handed it for him to swipe. He gave it back with two hands and a deep bow. 
“Let’s go.” Yoongi held your hand and led you away. The boys loaded the car and you were ready to head home. Suddenly, their phones all rang at the same time. Namjoon took his phone out to check the notification. It was quiet for a while. 
“Everything okay?” You blinked. 
“Yeah... But looks like we’ll have to return to work for a while.” Namjoon sighed. You nodded your head. 
“We’ll drop you home. It’ll be safer.” Jin told you. Again, you nodded. You knew how these business meetings could go from bad to worse in only a couple of seconds. Hoseok pulled up to the house and you jumped out. 
“Stay safe, boys.” You told the 7. They sent you in with hugs and kisses, waiting for you to disappear into the house with the maids before Taehyung pulled the butler closer to whisper something into his ear. The butler nodded his head, bowing deeply. He closed the door for the van, standing on the porch until the van disappeared. 
“Agashi, I was told that there will be barbecue tonight? Shall I prepare the ingredients?” The butler smiled as the other staff brought the groceries in. 
“I wanna help cook! Let me change first.” You smiled and went upstairs to the room. You changed out of your hospital clothes and into more comfortable clothes, aka Jimin’s lounge pants and Hoseok’s hoodie. 
“Thanks for bringing this all in guys!” You said to them as you saw them clearing all the bags of shopping and keeping everything in its place. You really bought a lot. 
“What do you want to make?” The maid asked. 
“Taehyung likes marinated kimchi. And Jungkook was saying he wanted cheese rice to go with the meat. I also bought japchae ingredients.” You said. 
“Alright.” 
“You guys can take a break. Don’t worry, I would like to think I’m better in the kitchen than Namjoon is.” You joked and they all laughed, loving your attitude. The mansion’s staff loved working with you. 
“We’ll help where we can.” The cook took the ingredients out for you, laying them out neatly. You started with the marinated kimchi, which was frying kimchi with garlic, spam and minced meat. While the rest of the staff attended to the things in the mansion, the cook stayed by your side in case you needed help. 
“I think a bigger dice is okay.” He demonstrated. 
“You can put it here to cool. Then I’ll close the container later.” He gave you the plastic container. You scraped the contents from the pan to the container. 
“Are there some side dishes that go well with the barbecue? That the boys will like.” You asked him. He went to the fridge to look through what was inside to make side dishes. 
“We have a few hours so we can do some pickled radish, spicy cucumbers, the fried anchovies that master Seokjin likes?” He suggested. 
“Sounds exciting!” You clapped your hands. 
The next few hours were spent cooking and preparing various meals to go with the barbecue for the night. You learnt a lot from the cook and your energy was mostly fuelled with iced coffee (of course). You were just happy to prepare so much food for your boys now that you knew what their tastes were like. There was even time to make grapefruit syrup for Taehyung’s sodas. 
“I’ll help prep the shrimp too.” You rolled your sleeves up to prepare for Yoongi’s salt baked shrimp on the grill.
“Ah, agashi. Let me. Your hands may smell. After all, you’ve been cooking the whole day, why don’t you take a break? I insist.” The cook shook his head. 
“Oh, alright. I’m only giving in because I need to make Koo’s cheese rice later.” You giggled. The cook nodded and you grabbed a snack before leaving the kitchen. You helped the staff set up the barbecue outside. 
“Let me help.” You arranged the chairs. 
“It’s okay, agashi. Please rest.” The maids shook their heads. Going to retrieve Kookie, you sat under the gazebo with a book. 
“Kookie ah. Don’t do that.” You stroked his head as he began to nibble the corner of your book again. Looks like even without the boys here, you still wouldn’t be able to read in peace. 
“Where are they?” You checked your phone, there were no calls or messages from any of the boys. As the sun set, you were seated in your designated seat, which was in between Jungkook and Hoseok. You checked your phone to see the time, it was getting late. 
You perked up when you heard the door to the backyard open and footsteps. However, when you turned your head, the smile dropped from your face. 
~~
Ko-fi link
Series Masterlist
[If you are reading this, thank you for making it to the end. For now. I’ll see you in the sequel ‘Everything Between Us’]
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spikesbimbo · 10 months ago
Text
Drunk in Love
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Summary:  Getting drunk and confessing your love for your “boy” friend and fucking him was most definitely not what you expected to go down on the usual night.
Pairing: Issei Matusukawa x Reader
Tags: Timeskip!Tattoed Mattsun, softdom!issei Hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, smut, fluff, virgin!reader, Unptrotected sex, non-penetrative sex, fingering, oral, pussy/thigh job, clit slapping, sweet dirty talk, praise, drunk sex
Word count: 7.2k
A/N: I heard pussy job and I wrote a whole ass novel
18+ Minors DNI
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You run your finger over the condensation of your empty drink, drawing shapes (or what you thought to be shapes, you couldn’t tell at this point) waiting for your dear friend, Makki to bring you a refill of your cocktail.  
“Here ya go.” Makki said as he returned with your beloved Malibu Sunset. The smooth coconut rum bringing you back to your first and favorite drink that you ever got drunk on in high school. You smiling at the memory
“Thanks.” you say. Your reply being mumbled by the liquid already in your mouth.
This all started with Iwaizumi calling Mattsun up, you and Makki hearing “You wanna get wasted?” on the other side of the phone. And with pleasure, you two were already packing your stuff up, shoving yalls “pregame” bottles back in the bag. The three of you made your happy way there climbing through the fence of the abandoned skate park you were in. Needles to say it was abandoned for a reason, but what’s life without a little danger.
You three and the rest of the third years have been friends since high school, meeting in freshman year, and now including Oikawa’s girlfriend. You actually didn’t like Oikawa at first, his “pretty boy” demeanor making you internally cringe. But his personality grew quickly on you, being the perfect target to tease you and Iwa clowning him over everything.
Now back to you on your nth drink, complaining about your previous job that fired you because u got injured, even though you know you wouldn’t have lasted long there anyways because you weren’t that academically inclined. Bright? Whatever you wanted to call it.
And as-usual it wasn’t long before your crybaby ass immediately called Makki and Issei and “tried” your best to tell them what happed with your dramatic self-induced tears running down you race, while Makki urged to you to try to calm down and Issei straight up laughing at the state your were in, snot running out of your nose. You recoiling at the thought, hoping they forgot. (Spoiler, they didn’t)
But now you nanny for a rich couple and you get payed good to play with cute babies all day, sounds good to you! Luckily, you had the week off due to them going on a vacation, you think it was France, no, the south of France. Must be nice.
Cue to now, Mattsun chuckling and leaning on you and Iwaizumi; both of you, especially Iwa, being visibly done with his shit. Him reminding you about the times you bought him some random shit, which you went out of your way for since he always payed for you, like that chopper keychain because you said it reminder you of him.
He didn’t know what compelled you to say his 6’2, tattooed built self looked like a tiny reindeer but okay. It still meant a lot to him, hooking it onto his motorcycle keys. But you knew he appreciated it, despite his appearance he’s a softie.
“You wanna try this’” He says gaining his composure offering you one of the shots he got.
You took one of the mini glasses, not being the type to back down and promptly swung the drink to the back of your mouth, quickly coughing before it even reached your throat.
“This shit is fucking gross.” You coughed out bringing the glass down from your lips.
  “Imagine being sober. Can’t relate.” He said taking another shot.
  “I guess I should do that but ive passed the point of giving a fuck” You said sending yall into a giggling fit while somehow Makki was thrown in to support yall from falling over. You two carry on laughing ignoring everyone’s stares at you thinking about how much yall fit perfectly together.  
   Makki rearranges himself to sit back in his chair, far away, from the both of you, whispering “Damn. I’m really third wheeling.” under his breath. Getting a snicker out of Oikawa sitting next to him.
   “When your best friends are ignoring you. Sad times.” He continues bringing his bottle to his mouth getting no response.
  Issei chuckles and gets up shoving his hands in his pocket reaching for the cigarettes. Pulling them out while failing to find his lighter
  “Fuck.” He muttered
  “Any’all got a light?”
  No one responds so you sacrifice yourself “Yeah” you say reaching into your pocket grabbing out your prized possession of a hot pink, bedazzled lighter that you did yourself, reaching out to hand it to him.
  “Don’t lose it” you stated seriously trying not to break a smile.
  “K’ sweet cheeks.” He said smirking into the butt between his lips as he walked away. Your face now burning up, hoping that everyone would think it was because of the alcohol.
  You mind wanders, thinking about the “dates” you two go on, from watching shows you “forcing” him to watch some romantic anime, to going to the skatepark, to playing video games with the rest of the 3rd years (which you don’t really like but you’ll play for him) and him surprising you with takeout, you bringing out candles trying your best to make it cute with him telling u everything you everything about his day.
  And you always tried to remain calm, even though sometimes he deserved to get his ass beat, like that one time he broke one of your favorite pair of heels. It honestly hurt him even more, he wanted you to get mad at him but no, you just acted like nothing happened. Making the guilt rise in him. Let’s just say didn’t have to lift a finger for the next few weeks.
You basically babied him, taking care of all his “chores”, mainly making him food when you were at his place knowing he hated doing it. Makki teasing you for acting like his housewife, leading to you slapping the shit outta him while trying to cover your now red cheeks.
You’ve never been so grateful for your attire at the moment, blessing yourself for not wearing your usual outfits of short skirts and cute tops, defending yourself saying what housewife dresses in beat up vans and baggy clothes. You definitely not imaging yourself in that position for the rest of the day.
 You expressed that you just liked to take care of people, which was true. You always looked out for them, bringing an extra umbrella, to bringing cookies you made at 2 in the morning to school, always carrying band-aids (yes, the paw patrol ones you took from the kids you babysit).
You checked the time on your phone seeing it was late since the sun at last went down, your lock screen being your dogs to their complaint since they have a group photos of you all from high school as theirs. To which you replied “They’re my babies” getting a groan and huff out of them.
  Seeing the notifications of your group chat you grinned at the contact name you and Issei gave each other; yall jokingly call each other pet names, his contact being honeybun and yours being pumpkin, even including Makki in your contacts as pudding bc then it wasn’t weird, right? no.
  “What’re you smiling at y/n?” Oikawa cheekily asks teasing you. You turn to him giving him a dirty look, not having enough energy to deal him right now.
  “Don’t listen to his bullshit.” Oikawa’s girlfriend says. You’re thankful for her. She was always on your side, being the only other girl in your friend group. To be honest you just wanted her and you to hang out most of the time, but of course to your disapproval her boyfriend and his friends had to join in.
  “Fuck this. Fuck you. I’m sleeping.” You say getting up to her objection, the only thing on your mind wanting to retire for the night.
  “You sure you’ll be fine? Let us at least walk you home.” She said already grabbing her boyfriend’s arm.
  “Nah, im good. I live right down the road.” You try to say not slurring. The last thing you want is him teasing you even more, especially in this state, knowing you, you’d probably start crying at the slightest irritation when youre this drunk.
    You started to “walk” towards your house resting  your hand against the brick walls to not lose your balance, leading you to run into Issei. You stopped to watch him lean against the alley holding a cigarette between his index and middle finger.
  “I’m hiding like a bitch” He says noticing you, resting his weight against the wall.
 “Wanna be a bitch with me? He grinned  blowing out the smoke out with his words.
You didn’t reply, just walking over to him, just being around him made you feel warm.
"Fuck its windy.” He says trying to light a new cig.
“C’you make me a house?” He asks.
You go up and put your hands around his cigarette, this not being your first time. Your hands wrap a little tighter to prevent the wind from burning out his flame. He joins you with his free hand helping, finally getting his cig to light.
 “Thanks doll” He smirks.
“No problem princess.” You reply earning a laugh out of him.
He takes his first hit with his and your hands still wrapped around it. He gets an up-close look at your hands, noticing how tiny they were, seeing all the scars that he never noticed, making a mental note to ask you how you got them later.
His head gets close to yours for the first time in a while due to his height. You glance at his face, noticing his features seeing some stubble growing on his face.
“You ain’t shave?” You ask, never seeing it in the past, while he was moving back up, blowing the smoke away from you.
“What, you don’t like my majestic beard? “He jokes. Making you giggle almost losing your balance before catching yourself on the wall.
  “s’too much work.” He starts. “You wanna shave it for me?” he says slightly leaning towards you. Handing you back your lighter knowing you didn’t need him to carry it because your pants actually had pockets in them for once.
You let out a soft laugh not responding again. He catches on, you got quiet when you were tired and he made out that you were walking towards your house.
“You going home?” he asks already knowing the answer.
“Yeah.” You respond more than happy to have him walk you back, him already moving to walk next to you.
He walks you home, you two talking about random shit, both of you forgetting about your skateboards leaving Makki to deal with them. And even though you’re drunk as fuck you’re still in the right state of mind, carrying a normal conversation with him. But just because you’ve built a tolerance doesn’t mean you can do basic tasks, like walk correctly.
When he reaches your house, he types in the keycode, your first dogs birthday, being glad that you, him and Makki have each other’s memorized.
He leads you into you house setting you on the couch, petting your dogs that ran up to him.
“Mommy’s not feeling too good” He said giving them the affection they deserved.
“Yes I am.” You slurred getting them attention on you now.
He walked over to your counter putting on the playlist that you two made together on shuffle, High fashion being the first to play. You didn’t like when it was quiet because too many thoughts would run though your head. You were in no way sad, singing the lyrics while you were laughing barely being able to hold yourself up as proof.
Remembering you were tired, he takes you off the couch and borderline carries you to your room, , setting you on your plush blankets that you had so many of because it was warm and comfy.
 “Easy, there. Try to sit up.”He said, trying to ask you what draws your pj’s were in because he didn’t want to snoop around; neither of you being bothered that you were half naked, what’s the difference between panties and a bikini, he thought remembering the times you’ve been to the beach together.  
Well it was maybe the fact that you were clinging onto him because u stumbled into him and he was closest stable thing around and you wouldn’t let go because it was cold and you couldn’t stop shaking.
 He ignores his thoughts and grabs the shirt he got out figuring you don’t need to change your bra because you told him and Makki that it was normal to keep it on for a few days after they were in awe as you were explaining how expensive they were. You calling Oikawa’s girlfriend to prove your point as she immediately agreed with you…Sometimes you might have got a little too comfortable with them.
You hear the song in the background change to Love Songs, you humming along, “Hope you smile when you listen.”
You were still holding on to him, your boobs squeezing against him, him only being able to put a t-shirt on you, while you looked up at him with your red glossy eyes making him burn up.  
You fidget timidly with your face now in his chest while gripping his sweater. Trying to build up the little courage you had. He tilts your head up making you look at him, wondering what you were thinking about.
  You try to express yourself, but you can’t get the words out him having no idea what is going on in your head at the moment.
“It’s okay to be nervous sometimes. Tell me” He gently says reading your body language. He was intuitive, so there was no way you could hide your feelings from him.
But you knew you could trust him, him having full self-control, always staying collected and following through on what he said he’d do.  He went out of his way to avoid any friction coming between you two, him never raising his voice or starting an argument.
“We need to talk.” You started. “About something important.”
“Ok…What is it?” He questioned rubbing his hands on your back. You were so nervous, were you really about to say this? Confess your feelings that you’ve pushed to the back of your heart for so long?
“I… I l… I love your face. And the stuff in it. and around it.” You spoke, being surprised you did it stutter.
He stood there, hands stopped moving trying to process what you just said.
“Just you, in general…”  You finally confess trying to state three things at once barely getting your words out.
But he understood exactly what you meant, or maybe he was warping what you said to fit what he wanted.
  "I don’t even know when I started liking you, but this shit won't go away." You restated
  Nope. He clearly just heard you say that.
  He doesn’t understand what’s so different about today. Yall have been in this scenario multiple times taking care of each other, sometimes including another into the mix.  
You didn’t understand either. You just felt like the time was right, even though you know it wasn’t the best idea to confess while you were drunk off your ass.
But you couldn’t help it, your feelings overflowing, which you never until this day let get the best of you, being vulnerable and trusting is not your usual . Youve never even had a crush on anyone, him being to only in your whole life to make you blush.
  Who you been vibin' wit and why I can't make you mine?
  You should have seen the signs that you feel for him when he helped that lady that lives down the street from him set up her Christmas lights or when he first met your dog that wasn’t fond of men, but it instantly liked him. And you loved his selflessness it was something you admired and applauded.
  “y/n” He tries talking you down, making sure you weren’t just saying this because of alcohol, deep down knowing he felt the same, you always being in the back of his mind.
You were generous with your time too, always being there for him. You knew he was softer than he appeared, he was tender, sensitive and vulnerable. He tried his hardest to not get into situations where anyone would get hurt, like breakups, arguments, and so on.
Which is why he won’t make the first move. He pushes his feelings to the back of his head. He values your friendship more than anything, but he can see what develops. If love is meant to be, it will happen.
I told you I am down for the worse or the better. But I keep sticking to you cause them four stupid letters
    “You make me so happy. And I’ll always care about you. Okay? He says breaking the silence, trying to reassure you.  
  “You mean so much to me—something I can’t even put into words because nothing can compare- I’ve wanted you since that day you tripped and bust your ass in the school hallway I still want you even though you drive me insane.”
  “Iss-“ You tried to get out only to have him continue talking over you.
  "I love that you can’t leave the house without a jacket. I love the wrinkles that appear on your forehead after you call me crazy. I love that it takes you hours to get ready. I love that you always know how to make me feel better. I love that even when you don’t agree with my decisions you always trust me to make them.  I love that when I spend a day with you, I can still smell you on my clothes; and I love that you are the last person I think of  before I go to sleep at night."
  You stood there awestruck for what feels like eternity until you mustered the bravery to speak “I didn’t expect you to feel the same way-” You said, being dumbfounded because from what you’ve seen treats everyone “nice”, were you really getting special treatment?
  He tilts your chin up, locking his dark eyes with yours. “Baby I don’t know if your notice but you and Makki are my only people that aren’t my family that call me my first name.”
He has a point. You think pushing yourself more into him, trying to fuse your bodies together to hide, not relaxing what you were doing to him. He tries to nudge your legs to the side but you won’t let go still clinging onto him.
“fuck” He groans. You pulling back wondering why until you looked down and noticed. A smirk appeared on your face as you reattached your self to him like velcro. You were feeling bold, the liquid courage still in your system driving you to slide your fingers down his chest, looking him in the eyes before stopping at his waistband.  
He knows what you’re doing, him being in this position multiple times. Does he really want to ruin your friendship like this? He hasn’t even asked you to be his girlfriend. He tries to push you off him already knowing you were gonna complain. But what he didn’t expect was for you to whimper out his name in that pretty voice of yours.
 He tried to keep his calm, blood already rushing down. “You know what you’re doing”
“yeah” You start.
“y’don’t want me?” Giving him your pouty face that you know he’s weak for, hoping that’ll work, insecurity piling up. Was it because your boobs weren’t that big or that fact that you were dressed like man? Was he not attracted to you right now, only liking you when you were dolled up?
“Fuck” You think. You should have worn something cute instead of dressing like a whole ass man even with your makeup fully done. Its not like you were supposed to know you were gonna get fucked today.
His were burning holes into you now, thinking of how to say “No, I would be more that happy to fuck you!” to his best friend, soon regaining his consciousness finally speaking.
“Fuck no doll, ive wanted you for a minute. You know me better than I know myself. How did you not notice my feelings?”
 You got me singing love songs, love songs, love songs
“You’re really hard to read” You replied trying to maintain your seductive act, resting your hands back on his chest.
“So are you.” He said lowering his head, you still looking up at him, taking in your gleaming eyes.
Sex ain't the only thing that's on my mind But you get me so excited, whoa
Your heart was beating so wildly that you could only take little sips of breath. His hands running down your waist stopping at your hips.
“Can I kiss you?" He asks "...yeah” you attempted to say as confidently as you could, nodding your head along with it.
His face bent down, hot mouth breathing over you. His lips slowly moved, brushing over yours, the liquor on his lips that you hated; only choosing fruity drinks even though you got relentlessly teased you for it.  You pushed further into the kiss desperately wanting more. Your teeth clicking his from being impatient, wanting to suck him in. Your hands sliding under his shirt subconscious desires reaching out.
Irreplaceable Tattoos from your neck that drop down to your ankles
“You’re drunk…” he says snapping you out of your trance.
“So are you.”
He dove in for another kiss much more passionate than the previous one, arguably needy, pusing you on the bed to which you more than happily comply. He tugs back not letting his mind get the best of him, disconnecting your spit trial leaving you panting. “You sure this alright?” He says deep down hoping you still say yes.
  You pull him back for your answer, your grabby little hands working their way back up his shirt. He gets the hint and pauses your lips rendezvous, taking off the turtleneck that he looked oh so good in, before seeing his unclothed body.  You’re admiring his body in a new way, before just complimenting him whenever he got a new tattoo, now up under him tracing them like a lovestruck teenager.
“When did you get this one?” You quietly ask, his ears closer to you than they’ve ever been.
“I got it that day you faked sick”
“What! You said were gonna take me!” You sulked, turning your head away from his as much as you could, crossing your arms.
He let out a slight laugh before gently taking your face in his hands, guiding you back into the kiss.
This is not really what he imagined for your first time. He’s an old-fashioned romantic who likes to take one step at a time. But then again nothing was ever normal with you. That said, when he falls in love, he falls deep.
“You’ve done this before?” You uttered.
“Hmm?” He mumbles, unmoving his lips from you kissing you, moving towards your neck.
“You still with that other girl?”
“No. I broke it off her, everything that came out of her mouth was bullshit, and no she wasn’t my girlfriend.”
“You didn’t trust her? You added. Trying to distract him until you could think of a way you could say “hey in my 21 years of life I’ve never got passed kissing a guy.”
“Our relationship was purely built on lies, I’d second guess everything she said. He replied, wondering if you were interrogating him.
“Why’d you wanna know?” He asked bringing his face up from your skin.
“…No one’s ever touched me like this, fuck.” You bashfully admitted, thoughts racing through your head that he didn’t want you anymore because you weren’t experienced.
But he knew what was running through that pretty head of yours, his fingers reaching out to with your hair trying to comfort you.
“You’re a virgin?” He curiously asked dragging his hand to your cheek, you leaning into it.
“y-yeah” you muttered trying to move your eyes away from his looking down at his body.
“I thought you had a boyfriend before” he said, softly turning your jaw to make you look at him. Your eyes diverted from his arms back to his eyes.
“We weren’t actually dating” You quickly say trying to clear up the misunderstanding. “He was my friend and seatmate that pretended to be my fake boyfriend to get me out of some trouble” you spewed out “and I guess I forgot to tell everyone that it was fake.”
“Even if we were that doesn’t mean we fucked.” You sheepishly replied.
“So… what trouble did your fake boyfriend get you out of.” He questioned knowing how much trouble it must have been for you, miss independent, to go to such lengths.
“Umm, well…this guy wouldn’t stop flirting with me even after I told him I don’t like him, even following me to my other classes.”
He wasn’t surprised, you were definitely a sight for sore eyes, in fact the prettiest thing he’s laid his eyes on, your beaming eyes, your dimple when you smiled, your pretty face, your “ugly” laugh, he could go on for days.
“Why are we talking about this” You whined, reaching your hand back out to him.
He took a hint and continued kissing you, bringing you closer to him while you attempted to take you shirt off. His hands helping you seeing as that you were struggling, being lost in his touch, finishing by moving you up more on you bed, pushing your plushies out of the way, to your protested because “they had feelings too.”
He ignored you, bending down to pull your panties off stopping once he saw the slick coming through them.
“Fuck baby you’re wet” He breathed dragging his fingers across your clothed slit earing a whimper from you, leaving his fingers drenched.
 Shawty, you wanna feel good, I wanna feel good too Don't I make you feel good?
“M’always wet.” you responded.
From what? He questions taking off your soaked cotton panties, tossing them to the side.
“From me?” He smirks bringing his hand back towards your heat. You not even comprehending what he just said, just knowing that you’re ashamed of how worked up you were getting.
You were in awe. You’ve always known his hands were big, but in this situation your mind wondered. His fingers were so much bigger than yours knowing you can barely fit two inside your with out it hurting, and not in a good way.
“Do you know how pretty you are? It’s honestly distracting.”. He says kissing down your whole body, stopping at your breasts, licking lazily around and coming back to the nub. The attention on your nipples making you squirm and he finally lets go, you grateful that he stopped or you would have almost cum, how embarrassing.
“I thought you said were gonna get them pierced” He remembered, you going on a whole rant about how cute they were.
“You said u were gnna get em with me” You looked back on, reminding yourself making him promise to get them with you because you were too scared of the pain.
“That was the same day you played sick and I got that tattoo.” He stated lightening the mood, hoping you can calm yourself down before you actually embarrass yourself.
He picks back up and continues kissing all the way down your body, you playing with his hair while biting your lip to muffle your moans and whine until he reaches your entrance.
He parted your legs, your pussy laid out before him, believing you no have reason to be shy about it either. He paused, admiring your swollen cunt and puffy clit, you were beautiful.
The feeling that he didn't want anyone else ever in his position overtook him. He let out a little breath on your clit and you thrashed around. He wasn't going to play. “I’ll take care of you.”
His lips travel over your skin, light and heated before settling himself between your legs, grabbing you by your thighs and dragging you closer. “That tickles.” you giggle, nerves making you kick your legs, almost hitting him in the face before he grabs them. He puts them down locking your legs with his arms, lowering himself until he’s on the ground facing you.
“Does it make you nervous when I stare?” he teases while your covering your face trying to hide the blush he caused.  He puts his mouth on you, quickly gripping your thighs, his hands leaving imprints in your skin dragging you even more into him, deprived kisses taking over your body. 
“yer so pretty” You purred seeing the sight of his big build between your legs, your fingers grabbing onto his curly dark locks, tugging them.
  Issei moans, his voice radiating through your body, forcing out a cry, blessing him with your pretty voice. “I-Issei!” You cry, never feeling like this before, your vibrator and hands doing it no justice.
“Shh, just look at me, doll.”
You can barely make out what he says, so drunk on pleasure. You try your best, doing anything to see the pretty man beneath you. But you get interrupted by your pleasure, your back arching not being able to control your body, grinding down to meet his lips, heat rising in you.
He kisses through your wetness playing with your bud. You choking on your spit, back arching again your body tensing up. “Issei,” You beg, grabbing him knowing what you want but not being able to express it. Luckily he can read you like an open book, knowing what you want, driving you over the edge as he makes you see stars. “Good girl,” he sighs when he feels you let go of his wrist letting him bring you your first orgasm.
“Look at your thighs shaking so much.” He teasingly cooed, wrapping his hands around them, bringing you out of your daze.
Shawty, your body is so exciting
Arching your back into the blankets, letting out a whine “Want your fingers.”.
He lets out a condescending laugh. “You need to learn to be patient. You just came and you’re already so eager for more?”
But by the time he finished your body went limp, you were totally weak, body loose-limbed and pliant. Your mind clouded by lust and deep in your own world. You gasped out a little sob, unable to comprehend anything beyond the discomfort and the need to have it gone. You can’t think straight all you can do is take action, grabbing his arm him easing his fingers into to you.
It’s not too tight, is it?” you ask clenching around his fingers.
 “Just relax… let yourself feel it” He says barely being able to move in you. Fuck so were so tight.
“I love the way you look with my fingers inside you.” He added starting to thrust them inside you, making you let out a string of moans.
“Look how good you take it.”  
“Fuck, you’re so messy.” He groaned feeling the slick running down his hands, before taking them out.
“Issei-i,” You cried when he pulled away, pleasure leaving you, tears coming back.
  He shushes you easily, his fingers wiping your tears. You were so precious to him, your moans music to his ears.  He slows down repositioning his fingers, making you let out a whimper squeezing around them. Your brains so crowded you can’t focus, can’t gather the strength to speak when he thrust them faster inside you.
  Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you fell back, fingers curling inside you, chanting his name over and over, incoherent words coming out of your mouth begging for more. 
You pussy tightens as you cum, unable to breath, letting out gasps and whines. Him still fucking you, fingers not stopping, pushing them in and out relentlessly feeling both pain and pleasure. You lay there, wet in your own cum not giving yourself a break before you went and got what you really wanted, his cock.
His eyes followed the movement of your hands as they pushed down his boxers, revealing the length of his cock, that jutted proudly from his hips. He was so pretty, so virile and handsome. Wondering how lucky you were to be in such a position with him.
You pushed away those thoughts and focused on him, pulling him forward gently, but he followed his encouragement. One of his hands tilted his cock down toward your lips. “Open your mouth for me, baby.”
You parted them instantly, tongue sliding slightly outward, and then you whimpered as the warm weight of his cock slid into your mouth. You let your eyes flutter closed and swirled your tongue around the tip of his cock not knowing exactly what you were doing, but it was working, tasting the salty tang of the precum that wept from his leaking slit. You moved your tongue as the he put his hand into your hair, gripping the strands and pushing deeper into his mouth.
“You look so good on your knees like that. “He says meeting your eyes once again, almost cumming from the picture below him.
“Slowly, baby, I’m not going anywhere.” He says slowing you down by grabbing your hair, making a pace that you follow.
“Yeah, that’s it, baby, just like that.” Seeing that sinful look in your eyes with your redden swollen lips.
You moan feeling yourself drip down your thighs, getting even wetter giving him head. Trying to ease the discomfort by closing your legs, griding them together, trying to find some friction. Your ears hearing “That’s so fucking hot.” watching the scene unfold beneath him.
Your jaw hurts, trying got make him cum faster using your hands and lips together hollowing your cheeks. “Oh fuck, oh, Jesus, fuck yes, there, just like that, fucking Christ" he groans out, his voice sounded beautiful to your ears, knowing he was about to cum.
He finally lets go cumming in your mouth, you swallowing it all, trying not to wince at the taste. “Did I do good” You ask waiting for his reply. Your doll eyes, so red and worn out looking up at him for approval. Fuck he was whipped.
“Yeah…fuck baby”
I love when you get on top and you ride it
You get back under him, his cock resting on you, drenched and clenching around nothing, resting in your cum. You working yourself up against him.
“What makes you think I’m going to fuck you?” He says to your complaint.
“You’re not ready yet.” he mumbles against your whining. Spreading your legs, slapping your clit a few times before letting his cock rest on your folds. Finally getting “seated” he picks up your legs and puts them both on one of his shoulders your thighs warming his cock, your knees touching his cheek not moving, getting a kick out of how desperate your were for him.
“s-stop being mean” You cried reaching out for him to come closer, needing affection after all you’ve been though.
“Aww, poor baby, you want me to take care of it for you? He says leaning into you, reaching your kiss, tasting the remnants of the cum in your mouth.
He plundered your mouth and slowly teased his cock over your entrance, catching it against your clit and making you whimper into the kiss, clearly wanting to be fucked. Your kiss turned you sucking on Issei’s tongue and lips, biting the swollen pout until his lips were red and puffy. He pulled back and looked down at you, a beautiful mess under him.
His fat cock head pushed between your folds. The moan escaping both of your lips was primal. You were turned on beyond imagination and the way he was thrusting forward, spreading his leaking precum on your wet clit was almost too much. He quickly picked up his pace fucking your folds, his warm head brushing against your clit with every movement, but your greedy self wanted more.
The fact that he made you cum so easily made you proud. Just because you’ve never gone this far with someone else doesn’t mean you’ve never cum, you’ve had a lot of practice over the years, being insatiable, the sheets soaked underneath you from your previous orgasms being proof.
“Keep your eyes open, look at me, baby.” He moans getting your attention him.
You tried, you really tried, but the way he was stroking you, imagining what it’d be like to actually sit on his cock, the lewd sounds echoing in the background leaving you unable to focus.
He taps on your cheek eventually getting you look at him, keeping your mind on him by placing his fingers in your mouth you letting him, hazily sucking on them, not being able to close your mouth.
“Oh, baby, you’re drooling everywhere.” He grumbles. Your spit dripping onto his fingers, the friction of your thighs making him feral, moving at an even faster pace. Your body bouncing with every thrust.
“You gonna cum after I cum on your little clit? Come one more time for me, I know you’ve got it in you.” You sob feeling the puddle beneath you, time slowing, fire pooling in your tummy.  Listening to his words you let yourself go. You come with a silent scream as the pleasure ripped through your body, your nails scratching his soft skin. Your vison fading to black feeling him lose his rhythm and moaning a mixture of curse words along with your name, feeling him cum on your tummy before resting his head in your neck while letting your legs go.
“So good for me, look at how much you came.” He says breaking the static. You whining into his shoulder, emotions high, never doing this before.
“I know, baby, I know. I’m right here, just breathe.” He says. You two laying in silence for an unclear amount of time, him rubbing your back while you rest in his chest almost dozing off.
“Are we still…friends?” You croak out trying to hold back your sobs already knowing the answer that you two were defiantly not friends now and never would be just friends again.
“Friends don’t do this type of shit” He maintained grabbing your shoulders to sit you and him up. You were worried, did he only do this with you because he was drunk? You were anxious that you scared him away because you just poured your heart out to him and pushed yourself on him. You left your head down, tears already coming out to your dismay. You moved your hand up to wipe them but he beat you to it.
“Look at me… I love you.” He says holding your cheeks in his palm. You in awe, hoping that you weren’t imagining it, that this was real life.
“R-really” You question making him worry too, preferring to forgive and forget rather than letting this a divide between the two of you in case you went back on your feelings. You were so overwhelmed, never feeling love until this moment, so happy that the person you longed for liked you back. Yours tears running once again.
 “Shh, shh, it’s alright...Don’t cry.”
You don’t even know why you were crying, the hangover already getting to you making you get a headache. You groaning in his arms complaining that your head and throat hurt.
“Ill be back” he says detaching himself from you, letting you know he was coming right back.
He walks to your fridge opening it to see every drink but water, having too dig through all of them, especially the absurd amount of apple juice guessing it was your “once a year craving for it”. He finally got you some cold water, putting It in a cup and waked back to your room.
  “Issei” you whined not picking your head up from the pillow.
  “Shh baby im right here.”
  He sat down beside you on your bed lifting your head up. “Here drink this” he reassured, to which you ignored not wanting anything to go in your mouth, just wanting the day, or night as it was now, to end.
  “It’s just water, honey, look.” You sat yourself up with his help seeing him in just his boxers, you remembering your still naked, not caring enough to cover yourself. He held to glass to your mouth, babying you, tilting it far back enough to where you could drink it. The water hit the back of your mouth feeling like a shot making you cough.
“I know, it hurts. I’m sorry but we have to” He stated. You continued to drink it, feeling the stinging in the back of your throat, him comforting you, calling you “good girl” which was unsurprisingly working.
  He put the cup on your dresser when you finished, climbing back into bed with you leaning your body into his. “Have you ever thought about...us? Y’know, as an...item?” he said causing you to look at him with wide eyes.
 “Call me selfish, but I don’t ever want anyone else to touch you.” He insisted making you cheeks flush. You try to think of a way to respond, not wanting to keep him waiting.
“You’re the best thing that has, and ever will, happen to me. Not only am I deeply in love with you, you’re my best friend.” You stammer out, your shaky hands somehow made there way to his neck, letting them fall slowly before he grabs them dragging you in for a kiss before you got to even see his face.
“Everybody has always thought we’re a couple.” He continued taking his time kissing you all over your face. “Then I guess we should be.” You retort, kissing him back before you could see his reaction, not wanted to be embarrassed anymore today. But he caught you, holding you still “Really “y/n? Like deadass?” He asked.
  “Yes dummy, I want to be your girlfriend” You say causing him to grin swearing you’ve never seen him smile that big, before he gives you one last kiss.
  “I always kiss you on the cheek, why are you blushing now? He teases laying back down, you following along. You just snuggle into him mumbling something along the lines of “m’tired”, he understanding and speaking to you in a soft, gentle voice while helping you to bed, so he doesn’t make it harder for you to sleep by being loud. “I’m here love, I’m not going anywhere.” He whispers into your ear mkanig your heart swoon one last time before you pass out.
  “I l-love you issei.” You sleepily mumble.
“Tell me this when you’re sober.” He says stroking your head.
“Just relax, close your eyes...”He murmurs, your heart beating slower every second. Both of you together, lazy, slow presses. Limbs pressed together, chests heaving, fingers trailing down backs, tracing lazy patterns.
  “Oh!…” He remembers. “If you really wanna get them pierced, we could get matching ones.”
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© all content belongs to spikesbimbo. do not alter or repost .
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its-me-im-coraline · 3 months ago
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Massages // Headcannons
words // 971
warnings // none
pairing // maneskin members x gn!reader
author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know. i was planning on making it a bit smutty but ive been having a bad week so im making it wholesome, sorry
request // yes, here
summary // how the maneskin members give massages to their s/o
Damiano David
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as I said I am making this quite fluffy so here we go
the scenario I have in my head with damiano regarding massages is quite simple
I think I have said it before but this man’s love language is acts of services
he sees you one day, all bummed out, laying down on your stomach
your back is in pain and you don’t feel like doing anything
it is right after he comes back from work
“Are you alright, amore?” he asks seeing your state on the bed, walking towards you, already extending his arm to start rubbing you back
you tell him how your back hurts caused by the airconditioning ‘hitting’ it directly at night and the man is quick to act
“give me just one moment to change, my love, and I’ll be back,” he says, already removing his shirt, “take of your shirt as well!”
when he comes back he has so gel thing for shore muscles (trust me that shit works wonders especially when you have no one to massage you :( ) wasting no time in spreading that onto your back and starting to massage it
“is it any better?” he would ask, leaving kisses on your cheek, hands never leaving your back
“mhm, maybe not yet, do it a little more and I’ll let you know”
he laughs at that but does not stop
i feel like at one point he would sit himself on your butt
mostly as a joke
“what? it is more comfortable than the bed”
overall he would be really helpful regarding massages just to help eliminate your pain
Thomas Raggi
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i feel thomas is a little less likely to give you a massage
not that he would not if you asked
but i feel like he prefers having you sit on his back while massaging his shoulders
and he falls asleep :|
this one time though, you were in pain
you had the bright idea of starting to work out again
the first few days are always accompanied by a bit of soreness
“so how did the work out go?” he’d muse, making fun of you a bit, before realizing you are actually hurting
“it was ok but now I’m in pain”
he would not do much at first but simply usher you into his arms and hold you a bit
“is there anything I can do?”
“could you possibly give me a bit of a massage? my shoulders really hurt”
as soon as you said it he’s picking you up, laying you on the couch and bringing on some kind of lotion
after taking your shirt of he starts working on your sore muscles
you can trust that he accidentally got too much lotion on your back, removing part of that and simply slapping it on your arm
“it’s for-uhm, later use” he’d say ignoring your playful glare
i bet that thomas would be massaging your lower back and swiftly move to massaging your butt and thighs
“they are lower-much lower- back, they need attention too. besides, you did squats! they need a massage too
overall thomas giving a massage would be pretty amusing
other times he would start randomly tickling you or kissing your back
Victoria De Angelis
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i feel vic would be a little different
she’d always be open to giving you massages but only even proposing the idea when she sees you’re really stressed out
in moments like that she would go full on spa day on you
“I told you, Y/N, you need a break. You have a day off so let me take care of you.”
“But Vic-”
“Not buts, just put yours down!”
you can simply not deny her
she will take a bath with you first, starting a full on massage there
she’d rub your shoulders with the body wash, give you head massages with your shampoo
and then, when that is over she’d give you a quick massage on the bed
although she’d be great at it you’d feel a bit guilty and stop her pretty soon
“victoria, come on, it’s enough, you’ve done enough”
she’d refuse to stop but at the promise of cuddles…
well your cuddles she can never deny
“if you like giving me a massage so much, massage my head… pleaseee”
she’d laugh at that, kissing your forehead before starting to rub around your head, helping you relax and falling asleep on her quite quickly
Ethan Torchio
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for some reason i feel like Ethan would give little massages all the time, without even thinking about it
say, you are sitting on the couch, watching a movie or show together, your legs on his lap
the man would absentimentally be rubbing your legs and massaging your feet
if you are cuddling he would be massaging your hand, especially if it is the hand you use the most and is in pain
he does that in public too
he’d be sitting next to you while out for, say, a drink, holding your hands in his
he’d be rubbing away on your palm, playing around with your fingers
“man, are you that obsessed?” the one to say it would probably be Damiano
rest assured that especially if you are in a bad mood he will go above and beyond with his massages
i feel like he is the type that loooves massaging in your lotion after a shower, mostly on you legs
like he can and will ask to rub the lotion on your legs with puppy eyes and all
does an internal happy dance when you ask him to rub your back with your aftersun lotion, after having spend the day at the beach
overall it seems he would love to be touching you always so he really really enjoys giving you those little massages all the time
tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11
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transmalewife · 11 months ago
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okay fuck. basically poland is completely falling apart. you’ve probably heard of the massive protests going on right now but a lot of posts about that haven’t been as clear as i’d like about the fact that we are not protesting to get abortion legalized, we are protesting to go back to the most restrictive abortion law in europe after they made it even worse by changing it so that you can’t terminate a pregnancy even if the fetus will die immediately after birth. the same government (that won an election earlier this year with a campaign largely made up of scapegoating lgbt people and calling them pedophiles) is now trying to pass a law that will make pride parades and “promoting gender as independent from sex” illegal, among other things. the law is literally called stop lgbt. if they actually pass this law they won’t stop there and i might very soon lose any chance i have of getting top surgery. (yes this is a donation post sorry.)
i’m most of the way through the process of getting an official diagnosis, probably only one appointment away from being eligible for surgery, but i have been crowdfunding for a while now and while i am very thankful for the donations ive gotten, i’m nowhere near my goal. unfortunately i’m currently not able to work since i’m disabled (lyme and probably adhd but i can’t get a formal diagnosis for the latter cause that might make it harder for me to get a psychiatrist’s letter for top surgery, and a whole bunch of other weird symptoms that i’m still working on getting a diagnosis/treatment for) and my family believes that this is a phase (despite the fact that i came out as nb 6 years ago) and that top surgery in my case will be mutilation and they won’t help me with it at all so as much as i don’t want to beg this is currently my only option.
the cheapest option for top surgery in poland is around 1560€ (1843$) which i know is a different price than in my other post but i only learned about this clinic recently because they don’t advertise that they work with trans people at all (no wonder in this fucking country) please donate if you can, and reblog if you can’t.
my paypal is /milatopsurgery and i’ll put links in a reblog so this can show up in the tags
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badfvith · a year ago
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get the camera | fred weasley
Request: can i request a fred x lupin!reader where fred goes to meet remus and sirius to see that he’s a good boyfriend towards the reader and maybe remus and sirius catch fred and the reader taking a nap and cuddling? x
A/N: i am in love with a good daughter of the marauders reader so this was so fun to write 🥺also i made this take place during their 6th year but i kind of ignored the whole “sirius is dead” and “wizarding war” thing for the plot bc like ive said before, im a sucker for some fluff. anyways i hope you like it!!! 💓
warnings: none! this is teeth rotting cotton candy sunshine & rainbows style fluff
word count: 1206
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“Are you nervous Freddie?” 
“I think I’m the one who should be asking you that love.” He smiled as the two of you made your way up to the door of 12 Grimmauld Place. “You’ve been talking about this night for weeks.” 
You sighed. “I know I know...I’m obviously not worried about you it’s..them. They can be quite..childish together sometimes.” 
Fred stopped walking and hopped in front of you, catching you off guard. He grabbed your gloved hands in his. “Darling you do remember who you’re dating right? I believe childish is my middle name.” He said, causing you to let out a small smile. 
“Look at me.” He continued. Your gaze shifted from the snowy ground beneath your feet to your beautiful boyfriend. His ginger hair was tucked messily underneath a hat you were sure Molly had knitted him, and his cheeks were rosy from the cold. “I’m not gonna run off when they start displaying your horrendously embarrassing baby photos.” He joked. You lightly punched him in the stomach at the comment, causing him to laugh even harder. “I’m all in with you. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.” 
You gave him an emotional smile back. “Kiss me.” 
“Gladly.” He smirked as he leaned down to press a sweet but firm kiss to your lips. 
You pulled away when it actually registered that the two of you were in the middle of the sidewalk during a snowfall making out. “Alright. Let’s go.” You laughed, grabbing his hand and pulling him up the staircase.
The door was unlocked when you turned the handle, your dad and his best friend obviously awaiting your arrival. 
The long hallway was empty when you entered and the two of you began to take off your coats and many other winter layers you were sporting. “Dad?” You called out, signaling your arrival. 
A few seconds later two familiar faces popped out of the kitchen and suddenly the house was full of life. 
“There’s my girl!” Lupin smiled, pulling you in for a hug. As the two of you embraced, Fred hung up your coats. “And Mr. Weasley. Long time no see.” He continued. 
“Good to see you again Professor.” Fred smiled, referencing the fact that your dad was indeed both of your defense against the dark arts professor a few years prior, before the two of you started dating. 
“Ah come now Fred there’s no need for that. Call me Remus.” He chuckled. 
“I don’t suppose you’re going to call me Professor too?” Sirius piped up, causing you to burst out laughing. 
“Sirius the only thing you’re professional at is not cleaning up after yourself. Every time I come over I end up having to do your dishes.” Remus replied. 
“All the more reason to keep inviting him over huh?” Sirius said and all of you laughed. He finally looked over at you with open arms. “(y/n). Come here sweetheart.” You went over to hug him while Fred and Remus began making their way to the kitchen. 
“So he’s treating you right then?” Sirius asked after a moment. 
“Better than I could possibly put into words.” You beamed. 
“Good.” 
The two of you then joined your dad and boyfriend in the kitchen, where Remus was fixing dinner. You all fell into easy conversation, and of course it took the turn you were absolutely dreading when Remus pulled out a worn out album you knew you to be filled with photos of you from your childhood. 
“Oh Merlin...” You groaned and banged your head dramatically against the cabinet you were standing in front of. Fred was getting far too much enjoyment from this and you wished you had Harry’s invisibility cloak right about then. 
“Now this. This might just be the greatest photo in existence love.” Fred stated a few minutes later. Your eyes shot open when you saw him holding up a photo of you flopped over on the ground crying and looking miserable. 
“IS IT DINNER TIME YET?” You yelled over the three others in the kitchen laughing hysterically at your tantrum that was so wonderfully captured in the form of a moving image.
“Almost.” Your dad said when he finally caught his breath. “Sirius can I trust you and maybe Fred to get the dishes? I want to talk to (y/n) for a minute.” 
“Go ahead. We won’t burn the house down right Weasley?” Sirius asked. 
“Definitely not. We’re very trustworthy.” Fred laughed. You smiled at his playfulness before you followed your dad into the living room. 
“What’s up?” You asked and sat down on the couch. 
“You remember how nervous I was when you told me you both were together?”
“Of course. Though I knew you’d be nervous about anyone I ever started dating.” You laughed. 
Remus smiled and reached out to grab your hand. “Well I just want you to know that I’m not nervous anymore. He’s great.” 
A smile made its way across your entire face at his words. “Thank you.” You whispered. “I always told you he’s the best.” 
“You did.” He nodded. “Just be careful of losing him to that one though...” He nodded in the direction of the kitchen so you knew he was talking about Sirius. “Them two have the same ridiculous sense of humor.” 
You laughed at his statement. “Yeah I’ll watch out for that.” 
The two of you wrapped up your conversation and made your way to the dining room. The utensils were definitely not in the correct spots and none of the dishes matched, but no one seemed to mind at all because luckily the house was still standing. 
After dinner was over, you and Fred made your way to the couch while your dad and Sirius were cleaning up. 
He sat down on the corner cushion and you curled up next to him, summoning the blanket draped on the chair next to you onto your lap using “accio.” Your head was on Fred’s chest as he gently stroked your hair. 
“They love you.” You said quietly after a few minutes. 
“Well that’s good isn’t it? Because they also love you and given the choice I have a feeling they'd choose you over me.” 
You laughed. “Stop it! I really think Sirius might like you more than me.” 
Fred laughed this time and leaned down to kiss the top of your head. You yawned and felt your eyes begin to close the longer you stayed in this position. You’ve never felt more content than in this moment, in the arms of the best boyfriend in the world, under the roof of the best almost-dad and real dad in the world. 
~
You didn’t know what time it was when you woke up slightly after hearing some shuffling around you, but it must have been late because it was completely dark outside now. The only light came from a lamp on the other side of the room. You felt the steady rise and fall of Fred’s chest underneath your head, signifying that he was sleeping as well. 
You were in and out of sleepy consciousness for the next few minutes but you were awake enough to process a few sentences. 
“Sirius! Get the camera. This one’s going in the album.” 
tags:
@tinylumpiaa​ @kashishwrites @lateautumn @asksiriusblacvk​ 
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alrightberries · 9 months ago
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dante’s inferno
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request: wassup homie could you maybe write a college au fic where levi and reader are rommies, then one day reader brings home an adopted cat without levi's prior knowledge? You could decide what happens next lol. Tysm 🥺
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❈ pairing: levi ackerman x reader
❈ genre: fluff, semi-crack ❈ word count: 4k
❈ summary: college au. in which you bring a stray cat to your dorm and your neat freak roommate won’t let you keep it.
alternatively: a compilation of college shenanigans where you and levi are best friends who are bad with feelings (ft. an unamused cat named dante)
❈ trigger warnings: profanity. mentions of alcohol and smoking. implied smut.
a/n: this was supposed to be loosely based on the nine circles of hell according to inferno by dante alighieri— hence the title— but i did my research wrong so now it’s loosely based on the seven terraces of purgatory according to divine comedy. i’m keeping the title tho.
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Inspired by this art by @ryuichirou on tumblr.
Permission to repost art was granted by the artist. Do not repost/edit the art without explicit permission from the artist.
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i. first terrace: pride
“We’re not keeping it.”
“But why?”
“We’re not keeping it.”
“But why.”
Levi’s tongue clicks in annoyance. His eyes glance next you where the offending creature lay on your bed; tail curling, paws kneading at his your favorite fleece blanket. Quite frankly he’s a little offended when the little shit has the audacity to glare at him back.
He’ll never admit it, but his ego’s a bit bruised because the cat’s glare was slightly better than his.
“I said no,” he firmly replies, looking back to you. “It’s bad enough I have to share a room with an anarchist who has no respect for boundaries—“
“One time, I forgot to use a coaster that one time!”
“—and now you expect me to share a room with a dirty fur ball who does nothing but eat, shit, and sleep?”
“He’s a cat, Levi.” You murmur, scooping the cat into your arms. “And he has a name,” you give a nervous smile when you see your rommate grit his teeth. He feels a headache coming.
“You named it?”
“Dante is not an ‘it’.”
Levi makes a move to step closer but immediately stops when the ‘Dante’ hisses at him.
“Aw, he likes you.” You coo.
“Clearly,” he replies unenthusiastically. “Listen,” he sighs. “I respect your cat’s pronouns but that doesn’t mean he’s allowed to stay. Or do I need to remind you of the mac and cheese incident?”
Okay, maybe he was on to something. If you got caught with a pet in the dorms you’d breach your third and final warning, and you’d be forced to dorm off-campus. The fact that you were still here after the mac and cheese incident was solely because Levi pulled some strings (aka asked Erwin, golden boy of the campus who owed him a favor, to pull some strings).
But you couldn’t just let Dante go. There was something about him that felt so familiar; something about his black fur, thin silver eyes, unamused snarl, and overall grumpy demeanor. Especially endearing was the way he’d grumble and pretend to be annoyed whenever you tried to cuddle him but would complain if you stopped.
You just couldn’t figure out who or what he reminded you of.
Maybe you would’ve figured it out too if you weren’t so distracted with watching Levi and Dante stare at each other. Your eyes dart back and forth between the grouchy cat sitting on your bed and your grouchy roommate sitting on his desk. Both were slightly crouched over with their heads tilted up in a show of dominance; they were engaged in what seemed to be a glaring contest, gunmetal irises unamused and mouths taut in a snarl as they protected their territory.
You sigh. You really, for the life of you, couldn’t figure out why Dante felt so familiar.
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ii. second terrace: envy
Levi is not jealous. He’s not.
At least that’s what he tells himself as he sulks alone on his bed. His arms are crossed and his lips are in a pout, eyebrows knitted in distaste, occasionally glancing to your side of the room where you sat up on your bed. He’s sure whatever movie you chose to watch together is interesting and all, but right now all he could pay attention to was that stupid cat. Sitting on your stupid lap. Getting its fur stroked by your stupid hand. Getting all the love and affection his stupid self should be receiving.
It was him you should be cuddling, not Dante. Saturday nights were reserved for him and you, not you and a cat while he happened to be in the room. He’s been trying to make a move on you since high school and he can’t fucking believe he’s losing your attention to a cat. Sure, he’s always been too chicken to make a move and had to suffer seeing you get together with assholes— as per your type during your emo high school days— but this was a new low. He can’t wrap his head around the concept that he’s losing his longterm crush to a motherfucking cat.
When you coo at how adorable the fleabag was for what felt like the 50th time that night, Levi decides he’s had enough of the cuddle-hogging piece of shit.
Wordlessly, he crosses to your side of the room and lifts the cat from its perch, ignoring your protests as he sets it down on the floor and tells it to ‘scram, you little fuck.’ He uses a hand to dust your lap free of any microscopic cat particles Dante probably left behind before lying down his head down once he was satisfied. He grabs your hand to put it on his hair.
“Stroke.” He orders, eyes closing.
“What? No! You pushed off Dante.”
“He was in my spot.”
“You couldn’t have given up your lap pillow for one night?”
“One night?” He scoffs and turns to look at you. “You’ve been abandoning me for two weeks. That disgusting, tic-infested, rabies-carrying slob has no business sitting on your lap.”
“He’s not disgusting, you gave him a shower before you agreed to let me keep him. And I took him the vet to make sure he had all his shots. He’s clean, Levi.”
“Tch, good. Now throw him out and let him find someone else to freeload from.”
“Okay, what’s going on?” You guffaw. “You’ve been grumpier than usual. And why’re you being such an ass to Dante? He’s just a cat.”
“Don’t think he’s special in some way. I’m an ass to everyone.”
“Then why does it feel like you’re always extra mean to him?”
He doesn’t reply. His lips are downturned into a frown when he looks away with a click of his tongue, and you realize with a sigh you won’t be getting an answer from your cryptic roommate soon. Your fingers start mindlessly stroking his undercut when you get lost in your thoughts— a habit you developed through years of Levi using your lap as a pillow. He always complained the first few times you did it but you knew it calmed both him and you, and that it put both your minds at ease. Moreso Levi right now, apparently.
You’re keenly aware of how he seems to curl up into you the more you keep going. You watch as his shoulders slump down when you stroke the side of his face, and his eyebrows relax slightly. From your angle, you could even see the way his eyes close in content. Maybe even a tiny smile if you were being delusional.
Your lip twitches upward.
“Oh my god, Levi, are you jealous of a cat?”
“Shut up and play with my hair.”
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iii. third terrace: wrath
“You owe me a new cravat.”
You blink up at your roommate. “What?”
“You owe me a new cravat.” He repeats. He pulls from his pocket a white piece of fabric— barely recognizable— torn into shreds, releases it mid-air. It gently lands on your open palm.
“Wait, did Dante do this?” You ask, eyeing the slik in your hands.
“Unless you went feral in the middle of the fucking night and decided to cut up my clothes, yes.”
“Oh my god, Levi, I’m so sorry. I swear Dante will never—“
“You actually owe me three cravats,” he interjects. “The first two I overlooked since they weren’t that expensive but I draw the line here.” His lips are downturned into a frown, eyes poorly concealing his clear distaste. “This one’s my favorite and it was made from silk.”
You eye the fabric in your hands once more before nodding in understanding, setting down the once beautiful cravat before taking out your wallet. It was only fair that you paid him back; he was being more than generous with letting your cat stay and keeping it a secret, and now you wonder how many bad things Dante’s done that Levi’s overlooked or simply never brought up with you.
“Sure, I’m really sorry. How much do I owe you?”
Levi doesn’t say anything. Instead he pulls out his phone and types something on what you could only assume was google, most likely looking for the same brand of the cravat your cat had just torn into shreds. You weren’t entirely sure how much those could cost, but surely you could afford—
“What the fuck!” You screech, eyeing the page with very, very hefty price tags listed. Holy fucking hell where did he even get the money to buy something so expensive. Gulping, you nervously look up at your unimpressed roommate. You already knew he was taking it easy on you; his aura was the only thing intimidating, at least he wasn’t giving you the murder eyes. And even though he was a man of his word, you were thankful he hasn’t reported Dante.
Still, it didn’t change the fact that Levi looked pissed beyond belief.
“Uhm... can I pay you with a check that’ll definitely bounce?”
“You will pay me in cash.”
“Fuck, fine!”
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iv. fourth terrace: sloth
Levi silently works on his desk. His laptop’s open in fromt of him, numerous notes from classes and books from the library surrounding him. The gentle sounds of clicking and clacking echoe throughout the room as fingers typed at the keyboard, eyes concentrated and lips pulled taught as he focuses on his task. He’s on a roll. He’s almost done with this part of his research, nothing could snap him out of this, he just needs to—
“Levi, when do you think Dante will come back to me?”
He stops typing and grits his teeth.
This is how it’s been the entire night. Ten minutes of peace before you ask him some stupid questions that could’ve been answered with common sense.
“Fuck if I care.”
“Do you think it was something I did?”
He resumes typing. “Yes.”
“Do you think he’ll come back?”
“No.”
“Even after all we’ve been through?”
“Still no.”
“I miss him,” you sigh. “I miss him so much.”
“Then you shouldn’t have left the door open.”
It’s been a week since Dante escaped the dorm and Levi doesn’t understand why you’re still so depressed about it. I mean, you only lost a cat that you loved and treasured and treated like family. Surely a week of moping around in your pajamas and eating nothing but chips and soda was catharsis enough.
He hears you shift in your burrito blanket, presumably to turn away from him so you can sulk into the wall next to your bed. Good. Now he can get back to working on—
“Levi do you think Dante-“
“Enough.” He grits, slamming his laptop shut.
“Where’re you going?” You ask, eyeing the way he hurriedly stuffs papers and books into his bag along with his laptop.
“Out.” He replies, grabbing his keys and his coat. “I can’t stand this shit anymore.”
Your head is burried in your blankets when he slams the door shut and all you could do was slump down because great. You lost Dante, and now you’ve royally pissed off Levi.
Great. Just fucking great.
Unlike your cat, however, your roommate comes back hours later, just before curfew. He doesn’t bother with a hello— he never does— and neither do you, opting to stay hidden underneath the sheets. Though suddenly, there’s a dip in the mattress followed by a pur next to your head.
Could it be?
“Dante?” You murmur, lifting your head from underneath your cocoon of fabric. Small black paws and silver eyes meet your gaze. “Dante!” Immediately sitting up, you pulled him to your lap, scratching his little head and cooing about how much you missed him as he purred and curled into to you.
Levi would never say it, but he missed seeing you smile at the little fleabag.
You turn to look at your roommate. “How’d you find him?”
“Asked around the campus. He wandered into another dorm building and probably thought it was ours.”
“Well yeah but... I thought you hated him?”
“I do.” He replies instantly.
“Then why’d you find him?”
“I hate him, not you.”
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v. fifth terrace: avarice
“I fucking hate both of you,” Levi grumbles, staring at the dorm.
Towers of boxes lined his supposed to be clean dorm room. He had a hard time prying the door open since it was blocked, and he wasn’t even sure how the boxes weren’t blocking out the light from how high they were piled. Dante’s sat on a stack of box directly next to the door, purring and flicking his tail around. Levi squints his eyes and glares at the little shit.
“You especially.”
“Mrow?”
Levi’s day had been, with no irony or sarcasm at all, amazing. He got a good grade on his research paper; the guy in front of him at the cafe accidentally ordered an extra serving of (coincidentally, Levi’s favorite) tea and gave it to him for free; and he got full marks for the presentation he’s been worrying about for weeks. His class even got dismissed early so he had an extra hour for lunch. He knew you didn’t have classes, so in honor of his great day he thought he’d do something nice and take you out for lunch. His treat, of course.
But any trace of his good mood vanished when he went back to the dorms and got greeted to a room that looked like it came from an episode of Hoarders.
This is what he gets for trying to be nice.
“Levi! Is that you?” You called out.
“What the fuck happened?”
You laugh sheepishly— at least Levi thinks you do. He couldn’t see you beyond the hundred boxes that took up your shared room. He hears some rustling and the sound of things being moved around before finally your head pops out from behind a wall of brown, smiling at him apologetically before walking towards him (and tripping a few times).
“Remember when I said I’d order some toys for Dante as a surprise?”
Levi’s eye twitches. “Don’t tell me—”
“I accidentally ordered 10,000 instead of 10. Online shopping struggles, am I right?” You nervously chuckle at his pissed off face. Levi was not in the mood.
Your smile widens as you make twinkly gestures with your hands. “So uh... surprise?”
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vi. sixth terrace: gluttony
The clinic is still when you first entered.
The harsh smell of alcohol and sterile metal makes your nose grimace, and the coldness of the thermostat brings goosebumps to your arms. Behind the wall, somewhete in the waiting room, cats are hissing, dogs are barking, and you could even hear the sound of birds angrily chirping and rattling their cages.
Dante cowers in fear on the silver table, and your heart aches. His ears are down and his fur’s standing on its ends, but you couldn’t comfort him. Not right now, at least. The veterinarian still needed to do a few more checks.
You gulp, “how’s... how’s Dante looking, doc?”
“Not good,” she murmurs. Her eyebrows are furrowed, and she takes a deep sigh as she eyes the information on the chart. “It’ll take months before he can walk properly again, possibly more if we don’t do anything about it soon.”
“Don’t tell me... is he—-”
“I’m sorry, my dear,” she sighs. “But your cat is heavily obese.”
The corners of your lips twitch down into a frown, and your palm is warm when you start to stroke Dante’s fur. He calms down a bit from your touch, less on edge but still guarded as he warily eyes the doctor’s gloved hands.
“But I don’t understand,” you reply. “I’ve been following the recommended diet you put him on, and I haven’t been feeding him anything other than the cat food and vitamins you recommended. How’s he still obese?”
“Well, we could look into other solutions, but for now I think we ought to look at whether or not Dante has an underlying health problem.”
Levi tunes out the chatter between you and the vet, bored eyes staring into nothing. He’s leaning against a wall and he’s watching the cat carrier. Your bag’s slung over his shoulders and your coat’s in his arms, and he was sure you didn’t even need him to be here for “moral support.”
He mentally scoffs. You probably just needed a chauffeur to drive you for free, and honestly, Levi would rather feel like a chauffeur than a coat rack.
His eyes make contact with Dante’s, and all the fear in the cat’s eyes is suddenly gone, replaced with a steely glare and bared teeth. A warning, one no one else notices but him.
Levi gives him a solitary nod, understanding what Dante wanted to say.
Don’t tell Y/N I’ve been sneaking to the neighbors.
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vii. seventh terrace: desire
There’s something about the buzz of alcohol and nicotine that makes Levi confident—- the liquid courage in his veins and the smoke in his lungs clouding his judgement. Perhaps that’s where he finally gets the balls to cross the room, drunken eyes on your equally intoxicated ones, before he pulls you in for a kiss.
The kiss starts slow, with lips just interlocking and lightly testing the waters. But then he feels your tongue make its way inside his mouth and your fingers weave into his hair to tug him closer, and Levi loses the last threads of inhibition he has. His tongue massages yours and one of his arm wraps around your waist, the other comes down to grope and knead your ass. He feels you walk backwards and your hand pulls at his tie, dragging him with you. Suddenly he’s trapping you against a wall, lifting one of your legs up to wrap around his hips so he could grind his crotch into yours.
Levi doesn’t expect his first kiss with you to be like this; messy and full of tongue and spit, full of fingers clawing at clothes and small grunts escaping your lips. He was hoping it’d be more romantic, with warm cheeks and fingers softly intertwining, shy kisses exchanged through little smiles.
But he’s not about to complain—- he’s wanted to be with you for years, and god he loved having you like this. Loved having you all hot and desperate, trapped between his firm chest and the wall. His cock is hard in his pants, and he just about growls when he feels you start to undo his belt, the fly of his pants coming down as you got on your knees and stared up at him with innocent eyes as you pull out his aching boner. There’s a cheeky grin your face when you pump at his length, and your tongue peaks out of your mouth before—
“Levi, are you okay?”
His eyes snap open, and he’s greeted to the sight of your worried face directly above his.
“Fuck!” he yells, and his forehead slams into yours when he flinches away. “Sorry, sorry” he quickly ammends when you yelp in pain.
He’s covered in sweat, he notices. Chest heaving, heart beating a little too loud for his liking, and he silently pulls the blankets over his cum stained boxers when you sit beside him.
God, he was really hoping you wouldn’t notice the fact that he came in his pants like a high schooler. And it was before dream you even got to suck him off. How much more pathetic could he be.
“Are you okay?” He asks, and you nod.
“Yeah, m’fine, it’s just...” your eyes are distracted, staring off into space. Fingers trace his thighs, and you sigh. “You were having a nightmare,”
Levi blinks. “What?”
“You were having a nightmare,” you repeat. “Kept tossing and turning and groaning in your sleep. And you kept making these... funny faces,”
“...right,” he nods. Sure, a nightmare. A nightmare he never wanted to wake up from.
It takes about ten minutes to reassure you that yes, he was fine, don’t mind the way his cheeks are flushed, he was just... shaken up from his nightmare, is all. Then you’re back to bed, sleeping the night away, and twenty minutes later he’s on his way back to bed too; this time with a fresh pair of boxers and a content look on his face, all thanks to him finishing off his fantasies in the communal bathroom during his shower.
The door makes a quiet click when he shuts it behind him, and he freezes when he catches sight of Dante sat up on your bed, tail flicking behind him as he gives Levi a knowing look.
Levi squints his eyes, and he threateningly whispers, “you tell no one.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
epilogue
The half empty room brings a frown to your face, and all you could do was pout as you sealed up the last of the boxes.
“Why do you have to leave again?” you ask, and Levi turns around as he finishes folding the last of his clothes. He shrugs. “Cats aren’t allowed in the dorms.”
You owed him your entire college career, that much was sure. The RA’s found out about Dante, and Levi had taken the fall to spare you. He wasn’t required to move out since it was only his first strike, but he insisted on doing so so that Dante wouldn’t be alone, saying he already found an apartment nearby and he’ll never hear the end of it from you if he didn’t take Dante with him.
Bullshit. Levi had a soft spot for Dante, you knew that much. He wasn’t doing it for you, he was doing it for himself. Though normally you’d be overjoyed to know that Levi really did secretly like the cat he pretended to hate so much, this time, you were just pissed. You couldn’t believe a fucking cat was stealing away the guy you’ve been in love with since high school. Sure, you were too much of a coward to ask him out, but he was basically your boyfriend already—- the entire campus knew you inadvertently had dibs on each other.
“Yeah but... do you have to leave me alone?”
“I asked you to come with me, and you said no.” He points out. “I still don’t see why when we’ve been roommates since we were freshmen.”
“It’s different off-campus!”
“How?”
“Because it’s like... it’s like we’re moving in together, y’know?” you reply. “And it seemed wrong to move in with you when we’re not even dating.”
“Let’s do it, then.”
“What do you mean?”
He sighs, handing you a spare key to what you could only assume was his new apartment. You glance between him and the key in your hands, and he rolls his eyes when he realizes that you still don’t get it.
“I know we’re doing this backwards since couples don’t typically move in before the first date,” he says before gesturing to Dante. “But we already have a son, and I know you’re his favorite parent. We can share custody until you can move in with me.”
You blink. “What?” Your brain stopped working when Levi referred to you as a couple, and you’re pretty sure your heart stopped beating too. At this point, anything he said went in one ear and out the other. He flicks your forehead.
“Hey— ow! What was that for?”
“You weren’t listening.”
“And you’re being a prick!” you grumble. “It hurts, y’know.”
He scoffs. “What do you want me to do? Kiss it better?” he scoffs.
Your mouth moves faster than your brain, “I’d rather you kiss me.”
Wait. What?
Before you could go back on your words, Levi shrugs. Warm palms gently grab your cheeks, pulling your face closer to his. Your eyes widen and you momentarily freeze, brain definitely not working anymore. He hesitates when you don’t make a move, but then you’re shyly leaning forward, and that was all the confirmation Levi needs.
“If you insist,” he whispers, and suddenly your words die on your tongue when his lips interlock with yours.
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angelicyoongie · a year ago
Text
Abundance (VIII)
— summary: You never expected that you would end up adopting a hybrid, and if someone had told you that you would end up with seven? Well, you would have thought they were crazy. But here you are, with three different packs of hybrids that don't get along – but all want to stay with you. Yeah, turns out crazy is an understatement.
— pairing: hybrid bts x human f!reader
— genre: fluff, angst, eventual smut
— word count: 7.7k
— tag list: here (the tag list is closed/full!)
Part: I / II / III / IV / V / VI / VII / IX / X / XI / Find the rest of the chapters here!
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You close the door behind you with a heavy sigh, your shoulders stiff and sore from being hunched over your desk all day. You wince at way your neck pops as you shrug off your light coat; maybe you should treat yourself to a nice massage once this case is over.
This is probably one of the hardest ones you’ve ever worked on, and the fact that you’re taking on a whole company definitely shows in the mountain of paperwork you still need to get through. What makes it so difficult is how thorough they’ve been in hiding the trails for their money laundering, and if it hadn’t been for the ex-employee that alerted the police about it, you’re positive no one would have ever found out.
You’re keeping the case on the down low as requested by your boss, not really sharing any details with your co-workers. It isn’t lost on you just how shady the whole enterprise is, and you’re sure you’ll uncover more unsavoury things the deeper you dig.  And so, keeping other people in the dark seems to be the best way to do things.
While you trust the people in your office, you can never be too sure of who might let something important slip for some extra money, and you’re sure Lim Enterprises wouldn’t mind coughing up some bills for any information that could turn the case in their favour. So, it’s just you for now.
You drop your heavy bag to the floor, not looking forward to spending all night poring over the documents you brought home with you. But, if you want to wrap up this case this year, you don’t really have much of a choice.
You grumble a few curses under your breath, so caught up in your own thoughts that you don’t even notice the heavy footsteps echoing down the hallway until you feel a body barrelling straight into yours. Your scream gets caught in your throat, the shock making you choke as you feel a pair of arms lock around your waist, gluing your arms to your side.
“We’re so sorry!” Taehyung whimpers, his breath fanning over your throat from where his face is tucked against your skin.
“Taehyung?” You breathe, all kinds of confused at the sudden outburst. The sound of his name just makes him squeeze you even tighter, his bushy tail wrapping around your side until you’re completely flush against him. You startle as you look up from the head of orange hair to find the rest of the hybrids there too, worry and panic etched into their expressions.
“Guys?” You ask, but you don’t get the answer you were hoping for. Rather than anyone explaining why Taehyung is acting like he is, you instead watch with widened eyes as the six other hybrids all rush you at once, each of them latching on to you in any way that they can.  
There’s a chorus of ‘I’m so sorry’ and ‘Please forgive me’ all around you, and you honestly feel a little dizzy from all the sudden attention. Maybe a little suffocated too, considering they’re all hugging the life out of whatever part of you they can grab.
“Guys, unless you want to kill me, then that’s enough,” You wheeze out as someone’s hold tightens. Taehyung’s death grip around your body lessens immediately, and he reluctantly pulls back as you try to gently shake off the others.
“What’s going on?” You give them all a quick once over, looking for any injuries or reasons why they would suddenly act so panicked, but there’s nothing that seems out of the ordinary.
“We’re so sorry for the way we acted,” Namjoon says, his posture hunched and small where he’s standing behind Taehyung. Hoseok lets out a distressed whine as he nods along to his alpha’s words; his fingers curled tightly around one of Namjoon’s hands. Taehyung takes another step back too, fox ears flat against his head as he joins Hoseok’s side to seek out comfort from his pack mates.
“We were just so happy to finally have a home, that we didn’t want to accept that we would have to share it with other packs,” Yoongi continues, his eyes trained on the floor. Jimin makes a sound of agreement as he cards his fingers through the fur on his tail, the younger cat hybrid not meeting your gaze either.
“We never wanted to upset you,” Seokjin says, “But we did, and we’re so sorry.” The hamster hybrid’s ears go red as you turn your attention to him, his eyes flickering between you and the others in the hallway.
“Please don’t return us,” Jeongguk blurts, his long bunny ears suddenly standing straight up in panic as he realizes he has inadvertently brought all the attention to himself.
“Return you?” You ask, surprise colouring your voice. Where did they get that idea?
“We found this,” Namjoon hesitantly holds out a few pieces of ripped paper, his gray tail tucked between his legs as you grab them. You try to rearrange them the best that you can, understanding dawning on you as you read the mismatched sentences.
“Oh,” You mutter. You glance up to find that the boys seem even more distressed than before at your quiet response. While half of you is itching to tease them for a little bit, you realize it’ll probably just be cruel based on how scared they look.
“I’m not going to return you,” You say, trying your best to fight off the amused smile that’s tugging at your lips.
“You’re not?” Hoseok whimpers, his tail doing a careful wag behind his back.
“Of course not. This right here –“ You hold up the ripped paper, “was a return form for one of the cat towers.”
“Someone had managed to sneak in two in my order while I wasn’t looking,” You give Jimin a pointed look, the cat hybrid giving you a sheepish smile in return. The rest seem to slowly realize what you said, their expressions shifting from distraught to relieved.
Well, all except for one.
“Wait, why are you returning it? We need two!” Yoongi huffs.
“You don’t! One is big enough to take up a whole wall!” You exclaim. “And need I remind you that you broke the TV–“ Yoongi quickly shakes his head, his hands thrown up in surrender.
“You can return it, it’s no problem!” He coughs, hissing under his breath as Jimin tries to protest. You hear a low snort from the canines, Namjoon looking pointedly away from the exchange as you turn back to the rest of them.
“If I didn’t want you to stay I would’ve just told the shelter workers upfront about your fights,” You say.
“I do want you here, but I’m still upset about your behaviour. I need time before things can go back to normal.” If you’re being honest, you’re not even sure what normal is supposed to be like. You just know you definitely don’t want to go back to how things were before the check-up.
“That’s fair. Take all the time you need,” Seokjin reaches out to give your shoulder a reassuring squeeze, and you give him a grateful smile in return.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I still have a few documents I need to get through before bed,” You sigh, missing the worried glances the packs share with each other as you bend down to pick up your bag. You bid them all goodnight, your steps a little more hurried than normal as you make your way up to the second floor.
Truth is, you’ve been craving their hugs and little interactions equally as much as they have been craving them from you. You miss them, and seeing Jimin’s ears droop and Taehyung’s smile falter in disappointment as you hurried past just makes it all the more difficult to brush them off - but every time you think you’ve come to terms with what happened, the image of Seokjin’s bruised face or Hoseok’s injured hand makes you pause and reconsider. You know in your heart that you still need some time, but you also secretly hope that it won’t take too long.
Your bed is calling your name as you step inside your room, and you allow yourself to indulge for a moment as you collapse face first into the soft duvets. You breathe in the pleasant scent of your detergent, the burning dryness in your eyes finally soothed as you can keep them closed for longer than the millisecond it takes to blink.
You wonder if it’s time to start wearing glasses, you did take a test years ago and were told you would probably need to use them eventually. But before you can even get them you’ll need to schedule an appointment to get it checked out and then actually go – and no, between your job and your new roommates, you definitely don’t have time for that.
You hold back what feels like your hundredth sigh for the day as you sit up in bed and grab the documents you brought home. Spreading them out on the bed in front of you, you grab the nearest stack of papers, praying this one will give you something to work with.  
You sift through paper after papers, the words beginning to blur together the longer you read. You swear you’ve only blinked when a knock on your door startles you awake, your world suddenly flipped on its head. The sudden darkness is disorienting, you’re sure there was still some faint rays of the sunset spilling through your window only a few seconds ago. You groan as you sit back up, a piece of paper stuck to your face from where you must’ve fallen asleep.
Another soft knock against your door reminds you of why you were even woken up in the first place, and you scramble to collect the papers strewn all over your bed before you call out for them to enter. The door opens slowly, a long ear peaking through the crack before Jeongguk shyly pokes his head inside.
“Y/n?” He asks softly, his gentle voice barely carrying across the room from where he’s standing. There’s just something about Jeongguk’s sweet demeanour that puts your mind immediately at ease, and you find yourself smiling at the dark outline of his body before you even have to chance to stop yourself.
“Is something wrong?” You didn’t miss the nervous tint to his voice, nor how he hasn’t even stepped inside your room fully yet.
“N-no, I just .. can’t sleep,” Jeongguk murmurs, the outline of his ears flopping down against his head, “I haven’t been sleeping well since the check-up.”
You feel a pang of guilt in your chest at his words. To be honest, you had noticed. Even those fleeting moments where you had seen Jeongguk in the past days had made you aware of how he seemed to be more restless than usual – how the darkness underneath his eyes had only seemed to deepen. Ever since that first night Jeongguk asked to stay with you, the bunny hybrid had more or less visited you every night. Those few nights he didn’t had felt weird, empty, but you had decided it was best to just chalk it up to being lonely. After all, it had been a while since you had been in a stable relationship and had someone to share a bed with.
You have been too caught up in your own thoughts these days to realize the lack of late night visits, or at least the correlation between Jeongguk’s restlessness and your empty bed. But now, with Jeongguk barely daring to step a foot inside your room, it makes too much sense.
“You should have told me, Jeongguk,” You murmur, your hands already reaching out to quickly stack your papers into a messy pile, moving them from your bed to your bedside table to clear up some space.
“Come here,” You pat the free space besides you, squinting slightly in the dark as you try to make out his form. You hear the soft click on your door being closed, Jeongguk seemingly crossing the room in a hurry based on how your mattress starts to dip under his weight in no time.
Even in the darkness you can see how stiff his body is once he’s settled down on your bed, his hands nervously clasped on top of his stomach. And then, “I just thought you didn’t want me here anymore.”
“I asked to come in the night of the check-up, but you never answered. I didn’t want to bother you,” Jeongguk whispers.
You suck in a soft breath, turning on your side to face him properly. You cover his folded hands with yours, noticing how they seem to tremble slightly.
“I’m so sorry, that– that’s not true,” You apologize, pointedly ignoring the part of your brain that wants to spew out that you missed having him here. You see the shadow of his ears move, one of them slowly extending upwards in interest.
“I was angry sure, and I still am. But not at you,” You give his hands a light squeeze, “You never joined in on what the other guys were doing, you just got caught in the middle of their fighting. And I’m really sorry for that too, I should have realized sooner what was going on.”
Jeongguk makes a noise of disagreement in the back of his throat. “They tried really hard to hide it from you, Y/n. They knew that they were doing something wrong; otherwise they wouldn’t have bothered to keep it a secret. I’m sure their instincts were just too strong to ignore,” You can make out the furrow between his brows now, your eyes having adjusted properly to the darkness.
“Instincts?” You mutter distractedly as Jeongguk flips your hands, his big palms coming to rest on top of yours instead. The tremor in them is gone, and the only thing you can feel is the subtle rise and fall of his chest under the soft fabric of his shirt.
“We’re all very territorial, but predator hybrids often have a harder time suppressing it than preys have. Normally only one hybrid or one pack is adopted, so those instincts never surface outside of just wanting to protect their adopter from other people,” Jeongguk pauses, and you take the moment to commit everything the bunny hybrid is telling you to memory. You’ve given up researching hybrids on the internet long ago; the porn sites you always got redirected to didn’t exactly seem like a trustworthy source of information.
But Jeongguk is.
“Having two other packs in the same house besides your own makes you .. nervous. It’s in our dna to be protective of what’s ours, and having other hybrids in the same house feels like a constant challenge.”
“So .. you don’t think you can ever actually get along?” You ask, swallowing hard. Maybe this had been a mistake after all.
“No noona, we can, it’s just– hard. Our instincts won’t stop telling us that the other packs are a threat until we grow closer and accept each other. That’s why the others rather wanted to chase us away than work it out. Scaring someone off is easier than becoming their friend,” Jeongguk purses his lips, his foot doing an involuntary twitch in annoyance. God, you really have no idea how you’re ever going to make up for everything you’ve put Jeongguk and Seokjin through.  
“Is there anything I can do?”
Jeongguk’s hands closes around yours at your question, his voice surprisingly firm as he says, “Just don’t push us away.”
Your eyes move from your intertwined hands to Jeongguk’s face, the bunny hybrid letting out a shy squeak as you try to meet his gaze in the dark. The adorable sound makes something flutter in your stomach, something you’re not sure that you should be allowed to feel around your hybrid roommate.
“I won’t, I promise.”
You lay there in the darkness for while, just enjoying Jeongguk’s presence until the buttons digging into your skin becomes too irritating to ignore. You’re still in your work attire, and even though you’re so dead tired you could fall asleep right now if you wanted to – you’re not getting under the covers until you’ve changed into something else.
“Give me a second,” You murmur as you wiggle your hand out of Jeongguk’s grasp. You snatch up your sleepwear from a nearby chair, hurrying out to change in the bathroom in the hallway. Just before you leave the room, you swear you hear Jeongguk’s foot start thumping against the bed in displeasure, a soft voice calling for you to hurry up.
You wash up quickly, eager to get some well-deserved hours of sleep before you need to get up and break your back reading old documents all over again. Jeongguk is under the covers by the time you get back, and you waste no time in hurrying underneath the soft duvet yourself. You settle down facing Jeongguk, watching the bunny hybrid’s profile as he softly inhales and exhales.
You let your gaze trail up to his ears, frowning as you see the awkward angle his ears are bent against your headboard. Surely it can’t be comfortable sleeping with his ears mushed up against the cold wood, not to mention that they seem as stiff as ever. You know they normally flop down against his head as he sleeps, so why is he so alert even though he seems to have already drifted off?
Maybe it just takes some time for them to relax, you wonder. You normally fall asleep before he does anyway, so you’re not really sure how it works. But you do know that staying like that for too long will be painful, and you don’t want Jeongguk to wake up with sore ears.
You slowly reach out to grasp the ear that’s closest to you; your fingers hesitating slightly before you gently curl them around the stiff limb. You only wanted to move them a bit, but the moment you make contact with the silky soft fur, Jeongguk’s hand shoots up to grab your wrist. Your eyes snap down to his face in shock, and you find him staring back at you with equally wide eyes.
“It uh, looked uncomfortable? I just uhm, wanted to help?” You stutter, your fingers squeezing around Jeongguk’s ear reflexively as the bunny hybrid puts pressure on your wrist.
You freeze at the low moan that spills from Jeongguk’s mouth, your chest refusing to move as he quickly untangles your fingers from his ear.
“S-sensitive,” He whimpers as he brings your hand back down to your side. You let out a shaky breath as he lets go, quickly shuffling back on the bed to create more space between the two of you.
“Sorry,” You wince; desperately hoping the darkness masks the steady fire burning up your neck and cheeks. It must be because you’re having the dry spell of the century that even such a small noise can make you feel so affected.
“It’s okay,” Jeongguk sounds choked as he flips over on his side, his back facing you. Shit, why did you do that? You squeeze your eyes shut, angry with yourself for overstepping Jeongguk’s boundaries. You only wanted to help, but it clearly wasn’t the right thing to do.
Jeongguk clears his throat, the loud sound jarring against the quiet night. “Night Y/n,” His voice is still tense, but you take it as a good sign that he hasn’t completely shut you off. Hopefully you can still redeem yourself.
“Sweet dreams Jeongguk,” You murmur, mentally adding another apology to the bunny hybrid to your list of the things you need to make up for.
.
You inhale shakily, desperate for anything that can quell the hunger building in your abdomen. Everything is just so hot – burning, and the shy, soft touches trailing all over your body is only adding fuel to the fire. It’s too dark to make out who it is, your senses not able to focus on anything except the fingertips ghosting over your collarbones – up your neck – down your arms, leaving a path goose bumps in their wake.
You let out a low whine as strong hands start skimming down your sides, the touches never going in a direction you expect or in the direction you want them to. Something soft brushes across your cheek, the feeling so foreign yet so pleasant it makes your lips part to suck down even more air.
You fumble blindly in your sheets for something to hold on to, the figure above you too far away to reach even as it continues to tease across your skin. Your breath hitches in relief as you finally find something solid and warm, your arms quickly wrapping around it. The new warmth also brings a soft rhythmic thumping along with it, and you press yourself closer as you try to figure out what it is.
It seems to only grow louder and faster the longer you strain your ears to listen for it, the touches across your skin becoming more insistent. A finger swipes slowly down your spine, leaving you panting and arching into the touch. The thumping halts ­– the sudden quiet deafening, but then the beating seems to jolt back to life even more violently than before and–
You blink groggily, the loud thumping still echoing in your ears despite the rays of sunlight spilling into your room. You frown, trying to bury your face deeper into your pillow to escape the light, only to find that you can’t. Your pillow is too hard. You clutch the fabric confusedly, your tired mind not understanding how it could’ve grown so firm overnight. And why can you still hear that loud beating? Why is your pillow moving?
You sit up with a gasp, the realization hitting you all at once. Jeongguk blinks back up at you with big eyes, lips parted and cheeks burning red. Handsome, is the only thing your unhelpful brain supplies you with.
“Jeonggu–“ You squeak, your voice dying in your throat as you hastily push yourself off his chest, desperately trying to untangle your leg from where it’s hooked around his. You feel it the moment you move, the unmistakable dampness between your legs. Fuck. Had you seriously been rutting against Jeongguk in your sleep?
The mortification doesn’t even have time to set in before Jeongguk scrambles out of bed, the bunny hybrid almost tripping over his own feet in his haste to get away. He rushes out of the room with his head bowed and body angled away, only letting out a strangled ‘sorry noona!’ before he’s gone.
Yoongi takes a step back in shock as the bunny hybrid bursts out your door, a surprised hiss leaving his lips as Jeongguk barrels past him. Jeongguk doesn’t even seem to have noticed Yoongi’s presence as he runs down the stairs, leaving behind a confused cat hybrid in his wake.
Yoongi peeks curiously around the open door and into your room, his brows furrowing as he finds you sitting up in bed – your sheets thrown all over the floor.
“Y/n?” He calls out carefully, his nose twitching as he takes a step into the room. It reeks of the bunny. You startle at his voice, a faint blush blooming in your cheeks as your eyes snap to Yoongi’s.
“Ah Yoongi, uh, what’s up?” You choke, an awkward laughter leaving your lips as you try to shuffle under the little piece of duvet you have left on your bed.
“I just came to wish you a good day at work but ..” Yoongi trails off, his gaze flickering to the door before it settles back on you, “Why was the bunny so flustered?”
Yoongi’s tail puffs out, his face pinching in annoyance as the bunny hybrid’s scent only grows the closer he gets to your bed. Now, Yoongi isn’t dumb. He has noticed Jeongguk’s faint scent lingering on your skin before, a little suspicious considering Yoongi was sure he’s the first one to wake up every morning, but then again he doesn’t really care what the others are up to. For all he knew, Jeongguk could’ve been stopping by your room every morning before he did. But apparently, the bunny had been doing more than just that.
“I had an uhm, n-nightmare? And I think it made Jeongguk uncomfortable,” You grimace.
“Why would you having a nightmare make him uncomfortable?” Yoongi presses, his feline eyes narrowed as he stops halfway into the room. His feet are itching to carry him over to your bed to cover Jeongguk’s scent, but he resists, locking himself in place instead.
“Because he slept here? And it woke him up,” You state it so matter-of-factly, so easily, that it isn’t hard for Yoongi to connect the dots. This obviously isn’t the first time the bunny has been sneaking into your room late at night.
Yoongi chokes down a hiss, digging his nails into his palms to force himself to calm down. He’s livid that this has been going on for weeks, that the bunny has been hogging what are his and Jimin’s all night when they barely get to spend time with you after work. But maybe the thing Yoongi is the most angry about, is the fact that he didn’t think about this first.
“Ah, I see. I’ll leave you to get dressed then,” Yoongi gives you a tight lipped smile before he turns on his heel and leaves, his hands shaking with anger by the time he makes it downstairs. Once he gets his hands on that bunny he’ll–
Yoongi growls as he suddenly bumps into a strong back, the impact throwing him off balance. He stumbles back only to find Seokjin staring down at him with wide eyes, the hamster hybrid paling as Yoongi bares his teeth in annoyance.
“Mouse,” Yoongi spits, “why has your little rabbit been sleeping with Y/n?”
Seokjin furrows his brows. “He has what?”
“Don’t act dumb. He has been visiting Y/n almost every night for weeks, I doubt you didn’t notice that as his alpha,” Yoongi’s ears are slightly turned back, his dark tail flicking around behind him.
“He told me he visited her some nights, but not that often,” The hamster hybrid’s eyes cloud over, his plush lip caught between his teeth as he thinks.
Yoongi’s eyes can’t help but flicker down, gaze zeroing in on the movement as he watches Seokjin bite down on the pink skin. His lips are almost as pretty as Jimin’s, but he doubts they’re as soft. Wait, why he is thinking about the hamster hybrid’s lips? Yoongi quickly tears his eyes away, his hands starting to grow clammy as he decides to refocus his gaze on the tip of Seokjin’s nose instead. Where it’s safer.
“Well, Y/n would have turned him away if she didn’t want him there,” He shrugs.
“We might scare more easily than you, but we’re not innocent. Jeongguk certainty isn’t,” Seokjin snorts.
Yoongi swears he doesn’t look at the lazy grin adorning Seokjin’s lips, swears he doesn’t see how it stretches even wider as Yoongi snarls out a, “I can see that.”
He absolutely doesn’t.
.
You shut the door behind you with a soft thud, arms straining under the weight of the boxes in your arms. You stumble around in the hallway as you try your best to kick off your shoes, finally letting out a groan of relief as you’re released from those hellish contraptions. You might love your company, but that doesn’t mean you’re blind to its faults. One of them being that your boss is ridiculously old fashioned – as in high heels or no shoes at all. You normally get away with sneakers on those days he isn’t in the office, but you’re not willing to take that risk when you know he’s somewhere in the building. Luckily he’s grown so old he hardly ever shows up anymore, and so your poor feet don’t have to suffer too much.
You quickly waddle over to the living room, dumping the boxes down on the new coffee table you picked up yesterday. You’re in the process of trying to roll out the tension in your shoulders when Hoseok comes running into the living room, the bright smile on his face the only thing you manage to see before you find yourself pressed to a sturdy chest. You still haven’t forgiven them completely, but you took Jeongguk’s words to heart. You’re slowly trying to ease back into old routines, and Hoseok’s bone crushing hugs are definitely a part of it.  One you really missed.
“Welcome home!” The dog hybrid chirps, his golden tail wagging wildly behind his back as you return his embrace.
“Thank you,” You smile, giving his back a few pats before pulling back. “Did you have a good day?”
“Yeah!” Hoseok grabs your hand before you can settle down with your papers, leading you to the kitchen as he start to recount everything that he’s been up to while you were gone.
“We watched some new episodes of that sci-fi show– Oh, and we made dinner!” He grins proudly as he nudges you inside, and the delicious smell that hits you makes your mouth water. There’s an impressive spread of food laid out on the table, Namjoon and Taehyung watching you intently as you step up to the table.
“Wow, this looks so good,” You grin, and the effect is instantaneous; the wolf and fox hybrid’s tails beginning to wag just as hard as Hoseok’s had.
“Thank you,” Namjoon’s chest puffs up with pride at your compliment, happy that you can recognize his ability to take care of you – as an alpha should.
You call the rest to the table, pleasantly surprised to find that the canines have dished up something for everyone. Jimin is the last one to take a bite of his food, his narrowed eyes watching everyone else eat before he dares to touch his own. You’re sure he’s worried about revenge for what he did last time to Taehyung.
You throw Jeongguk and Seokjin a quick glance, happy to find that they appear comfortable enough to actually eat with the rest now too. Your eyes linger slightly longer on the bunny hybrid, your body growing hot with embarrassment as you’re reminded of what you did.
Thankfully, it doesn’t seem like you’ve scarred Jeongguk too bad. You were both blushing messes as the bunny hybrid came to visit you again that same night, but there have been no more incidences. While you might have apologized a hundred times already, it feels like you can never do it enough.
Things may have calmed down a little between them over the last few days, but that doesn’t mean that tension still isn’t running high. It’s subtler perhaps, but it’s easy enough to notice if you try. It’s how Yoongi’s tail is wrapped around his waist, desperate to avoid Taehyung touching it. It’s how Namjoon and Seokjin exchange hard glances as they both reach for something at the same time. It’s how Jimin pointedly makes a show of biting into his steak when he catches Hoseok’s eyes, his sharp teeth glistening in the warm light. It’s obvious they aren’t giving it their all yet, and frankly, you need a distraction from both the pressure at work, and at home. Lucky for you, that opportunity presented itself at work today.
“Don’t wait up for me tomorrow, alright? I’ll be back late,” You say as you scoop another spoonful of salad down onto your plate.
“Why?” Taehyung whines, already mourning how he’ll be one hug down tomorrow.
“Ah, I have a date,” You smile. You miss the way they all stiffen at your words, their gazes flickering nervously around the table at the other hybrids. “It’s just someone from work,” You add, hoping to fill the sudden silence that has fallen over the room. But it doesn’t – not really.
Dinner progresses as usual, but you can’t shake off the feeling of having said something wrong, the hybrids avoiding you gaze when you try to speak to them. You bid them a quick goodnight after dinner, tired and confused after a long day and the weird reactions you got. They can’t really think that you’re that un-dateable? You frown, slowly making your way upstairs as your mind tries to come up with reasons why they seemed to be so annoyed.
“That’s not happening,” Yoongi hisses out the moment you make it upstairs, the creaking of the floorboards alerting them that you’re out of earshot. The hybrids’ ears are all pulled back, a varying mix of annoyance and distress on their faces as your words ring inside their heads.
“Absolutely not,” Namjoon growls, the possessive glint in his eyes making the hairs on Seokjin’s arms stand on end.
“I guess we finally agree on something,” The hamster hybrid grumbles, his hands clasped together tightly in his lap.
“Any ideas? I doubt asking her to drop it will work,” Hoseok asks, his mouth drawn into a thin line as his gaze sweeps over the other packs.
“Actually–“ Taehyung’s ears pop up straight, a mischievous grin spreading across his lips as he looks at the others, “I might have an idea.”
.
Jimin waits until he hears your soft footsteps making their way downstairs before he lets out a loud groan, one eye slightly open as he clutches his stomach dramatically. You barely pause before you rush into the room, your wide eyes finding his curled up body immediately.
“Jimin!” You rush over to the couch, dropping down to your knees near his head. “Are you hurt? What’s wrong?”
The cat hybrid only groans louder in response, pushing his head into the hand you’ve placed on top of his head. If he has to pretend and play along to Taehyung’s stupid plan, he might as well get some pets while doing it.
You spin around as Taehyung saunters into the room, the panic in your eyes catching him slightly off-guard. “Taehyung, I think I need to take Jimin to the hospital. Can you go get Yoongi?” Jimin’s eyes snap open behind your back, mouthing for Taehyung to do something. They can’t let you take him to the hospital, they’re figure out he’s faking it right away.
“A-ah-uh, no! Jimin doesn’t need to go there, he just has the .. “ Taehyung rakes his eyes over the cat hybrid’s curled body, “flu! The hybrid flu.” Jimin has to hold himself back from lunging at the fox hybrid, there’s no way in hell you’ll believe something as stupid as a hybrid flu– “What should I do? Is there anything he needs?”
He squeezes his eyes shut as you turn back to fret over him, a sliver of guilt forming in his stomach over how genuinely worried you sound.  You press a cool hand to his forehead and cheeks, frowning as you can’t feel much of a difference in his temperature.
“He just needs rest and uh, cuddles? Lots of it! More than Yoongi hyung can give him,” Taehyung babbles, “We need human contact when we get sick, it triggers the healing process.”
Jimin might’ve actually been a little impressed at how the fox hybrid seems to create fairly plausible explanations out of thin air if it wasn’t for how distracted he is by your fingertips roaming all over his face.
“You can go to work! You just need to come home and help take care of Jiminie as soon as you’re done,” Jimin tries his best to choke down the hiss that starts to build in his chest as Taehyung dares to call him Jiminie, the sound coming out as a garbled groan instead.
Taehyung practically has to drag you away from Jimin’s crumpled form, promising he’s going to take good care of the cat hybrid until you return. He can’t for the life of him figure out why that seems to make you more nervous, but he eventually manages to convince you to leave.  
“She’s gone!” Taehyung calls out once he hears your car come to life, the rest of the hybrids curiously stepping out from their rooms.
“Did she buy it?” Yoongi grumbles as he plops down on the couch next to Jimin, the cat hybrid lunging lazily as the rest of them trickle into the room one by one.
“Hyung, I think I need to get into acting,” Jimin grins. Yoongi huffs, rolling his eyes. But even then, Jimin can still see the corner of his alpha’s lips twitching upwards.
“She seemed convinced. She definitely won’t go on that date,” Taehyung grins.
.
You ended up going on that date.
You returned home early from work to find that Jimin had somehow miraculously fully recovered, the cat hybrid doing a workout routine in the middle of your living room as you walked in. He had spurted out an excuse that the others had taken such good care of him that he now felt fine, and while it felt off, you didn’t know enough about hybrid illnesses to challenge him on it.
Your date was thankfully very understanding, and was more than happy that your dinner was still happening. The hybrids watched with pained expressions as you bid them farewell, their prolonged scenting sessions wouldn’t do anything to deter your human co-worker, and definitely not when you were looking like that.
Namjoon gulps as his gaze slowly trails down your body, your dress hugging your figure just right – and leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. Taehyung’s fingers are digging into his bicep, the fox hybrid’s eyes nearly black with jealousy at how prettily you dressed up for someone else. He can tell the rest of the packs aren’t doing much better, the hallway nearly suffocating with how much desperation and jealousy that is rolling off everyone as they watch you slip on your shoes.
“Don’t wait up!” You call over your shoulder with a bright smile, Namjoon’s heart clenching as the door finally slams shuts behind you.
“Working out, kitty? Really?” Hoseok barks out as he spins around to face Jimin, the cat hybrid’s ears falling flat against his silver locks.
“I didn’t know she would be home so soon! You were supposed to be watching out!” He hisses, shoving a finger into Hoseok’s chest. The dog hybrid’s eyes narrow dangerously as his gaze drops from Jimin’s face to the finger digging into sternum.
“That’s enough,” Yoongi swipes Jimin’s hand away, the building growl in Hoseok’s throat stopping abruptly.
“She left, there’s nothing we can do now anyway. We just have to wait for her to get home and hear how it went. Hopefully the guy is a fucking tool,” Yoongi grumbles as he grabs Jimin’s wrist, dragging the younger hybrid with him into the living room.
“Yeah,” Seokjin mumbles tiredly, his hand pressed into the small of Jeongguk’s back as he leads them back to their room.
It feels wrong, Namjoon thinks, to just wait at home while you’re out on a date with someone else. But as much as he hates to admit it, the alpha cat is right. Their attempt at foiling your dinner didn’t work, and they barely got away with it. They’ll just have to wait.
True to your words, and much to the hybrids chagrin, you’re staying out late. Namjoon is barely holding himself together, and he can practically taste the tension in the rest of the house. He wonders if he might regret what he’s about to do later, but he figures that will just have to be a problem for future Namjoon to deal with.
“Round up the preys, we need to talk,” Namjoon nudges Hoseok in the direction of their bedroom, gesturing for Taehyung to follow him. Yoongi eyes them suspiciously as they walk in, sitting up a little straighter as the two canines take their own seats. The wolf hybrid waits until the rest files in before he clears his throat– “You gonna make a speech? I’m tired,” Yoongi yawns, a smirk settling on his lips as he sees how Namjoon jaw tightens in annoyance.
“You can take a cat nap later,” Namjoon scowls, quickly carrying on before Yoongi can interrupt him again, “I think we need a truce.”
Hoseok frowns as Jimin lets out a snort. “A truce?” Seokjin asks, his arms folded across his chest as stares back at Namjoon.
“Yeah, regarding Y/n,” At least that seems to get their attention. “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t .. like any of you, but I hate the idea of Y/n finding someone else outside of this house even more. I’m not a fan, but we could be willing to– well, share her with you.” Namjoon winces as he lays out his proposal. It’s not lost on him how bad it sounds, how controlling. But that’s what it comes down to, doesn’t it? It’s painfully obvious that the other packs are just as smitten with you as they are, and there’s no way anyone will back down either.
He knows Taehyung and Hoseok aren’t happy with this arrangement, but what choice do they have? You don’t seem like the type to pick favourites, and if they all try to pursue you then well, maybe they’ll have a chance. Although it pains him, Namjoon knows that there isn’t any guarantee that you’ll ever like them like that. Not like they like you. But he has to at least try. At the end of the day, the choice is yours.
“I’m not happy about it,” Seokjin grimaces, “but it’s– we’re better than some random human.” Jeongguk makes a noise of agreement, and Yoongi scoffs.
“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you bunny boy,” He hisses. “But yeah, even though it pains me to even think about sharing Y/n with a pack of mutts and rodents, I’ll take it over a human.” Jeongguk has slowly inched behind Seokjin’s shoulder as Yoongi speaks, the cat hybrid’s gaze never leaving the trembling bunny.
“So, we have a deal then? ” Namjoon watches the other packs cautiously. “We agree to tolerate each other to share Y/n?”
“God, that’s such a brute way to put it. But yes– Yoongi looks at his pack mate for confirmation, the youngest cat hybrid giving him a nod in return, “– we’ll share her.”
“It has to be Y/n’s choice though. Whatever she chooses, we have to be okay with it,” Seokjin grips his own arms tighter, Jeongguk’s ears drooping at the thought of you not wanting them back.
“Of course,” Namjoon exhales. “We have a deal then.”
“Thank you for tonight,” You give Jihyun a smile, hoping it doesn’t reveal just how relieved you are to be home. You’ve had a nice night on all accounts, but it just didn’t feel right. This date was supposed to be a break from the tension at work and at home, but instead, you just found yourself wondering about what they boys were up. If they had eaten, if they had gone to bed yet, if they were waiting–
.
“I had a great time,” Jihyun grins. You’re all too aware of the cold hand pressed into the small of your back as he follows you to your house, of how much you wish that it wasn’t him.
You hastily take a step sideways to rummage through your purse as you walk up the last step to your front door, feeling Jihyun’s stare burn into your profile.
Just as you grab your keys, Jihyun’s arm wraps around your waist and tugs you closer to his chest. The sudden force makes you stumble in your heels, and you barely manage to catch yourself before your chin collides with his.
“Y/n,” Jihyun’s breath washes over your face, the heavy smell of garlic from his meal making your nose scrunch with disgust. But he doesn’t seem to even notice, his eyes zeroed in on your lips as he tries to close the distance between you.
“I d-don’t think,” You stutter, pushing your hands against his chest to pull back, but the arm around your waist doesn’t let you move an inch.
“Thank you for tonight, but it’s getting late and uhm,” You wince as his nose bumps against yours, your eyes squeezing shut out of instinct just as your door flies open. The next time you open your eyes, you find yourself pressed against Seokjin’s chest instead, the arm around your shoulder comforting and welcome.
“How considerate,” Namjoon leers, his eyes locked on to Jihyun’s shocked face. Maybe you had somehow .. forgotten to mention that you had adopted hybrids. You can see Jihyun’s gaze find Namjoon’s ears and tail first, his complexion paling as he recognises the species.
“We were starting to get hungry, how nice of you to bring our meal straight to our door Y/n,” Namjoon’s smiles wickedly as he makes a show out of running his tongue along his canines. Jihyun gulps loudly as Namjoon snaps his mouth shut, his feet already retreating down the steps.
“I–I–,” He stumbles over the last step as Namjoon takes a step forward, and the moment he hits the ground he’s already scrambling against the dirt to pull himself back up and dash to his car. You watch in shock as Jihyun’s car roars to life, tearing down the street so quickly you barely manage to follow it before it disappears.  
“Let’s go inside,” Seokjin murmurs against your ear, his warm hand guiding you further into the hallway. Namjoon closes the door behind you with a huff, his eyes softening as they meet yours.
“I wouldn’t, of course. Eat him, I mean,” Namjoon grumbles awkwardly, his ears lying flat against his head at your stunned expression.
“Why? H-how?” You can’t get past one word sentences, your mind a scrambled mess after the last few minutes. Why do you care? How did you know I needed help? Why me?
You suck in a breath as Seokjin gently turns you around, the sight making you feel a little choked up. The rest of the boys are here too, the concern in their expressions obvious as they quickly scan your body up and down.
“Here noona,” Jeongguk timidly hands you a blanket, Seokjin making quick work of wrapping it around your shoulders.
Safe. You feel safe. Here –  with them. This is right, you think.
“Why?” You repeat, your voice barely above a whisper as Namjoon takes a step closer.
You can feel the heat from his body even through the blanket, your busy mind going quiet all at once as he murmurs out a soft, “Because you’re ours.”
- - - -
I promised you that this wouldn't be as angsty, and I think I managed to keep it! Well, you got a bit of a flustered bun, mildly panicking yoongi, actor jimin and protective namjoon, so hopefully there's something for everyone in this one :)
See you all soon, stay safe! <3
Also!! Thank you to the anon who gave me the idea for the bed scene with JK ☺️
In case you maybe enjoy my stories and want to buy me a coffee, you can do so here! 💖
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jungxk · 9 months ago
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just one (viii)
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summary: the only guy on campus who’s track record trumped that of your best friend’s - park jimin - was jeon jungkook. not that that was a problem…until he set his sights on you.
notes: first of all i wanna thank the people who supported me and encouraged me through one of the worst writers blocks of my life. all the messages and comments are the reason why i finally managed to post this. special thanks to @whippedforkook for helping me with the monstrous tagging process as well as giving me so much praise. and also @lonelyending for cheering me on for a literal YEAR bc thats how long i cried over this fic! this story is so special to me. we’re in the home stretch now x
warnings: mentions of illegal drug use and distribution, swearing, brief smut.
genre: drama, romance, humour, college!au
wordcount: 8k
tagging: @cutechim @benz-biarritz @gyukult @bangulin @eatersanonymous @alyssa1926 @skivv1es @a-sucker-for-them-sappy-shit @moonights @jeymuffins @juuneaux @catsukiii @andreaisaac @whatheydontunderstand @sreveles @noruls619 @henryharios @just-a-fuxked-up-kid @befriendswithj @btsbesharam @poemsandpunani @taelha @misosoup-forthesoul @jikooksmut @heart-eyedmf @the-piano-woman @angrysunshine @chaoticpaperfanhoagie @jsungshine @ci-yen @faby-montana @shinypeanutsportshero @jooniestrivia @alucards-s @cynamyngirl @jiminie-angel @myskoova @jkshoneybuns @smokintae @remmykinsff @majinbuwu @jangx2manboongx2 @potatodogs @seul-queen @alpharyth @blenxxxg @plsky @th-singularity @bapbaptothetop @hermiones-enchantment @stomachfilledwithbutterflies @euphorora @supachloe94 @jiminxjimout @ggukkieland @just-another-fic-recs-blog @jalexad​
part i // part ii // part iii // part iv // part v // part vi // part vii // part viii // part ix // part x
x
4 years ago
x
jimin hated yugyeom.
well, maybe hate was a strong word. he just didn't like talking to him, being around him, hearing his name or interacting with him on any level, social or otherwise. he really tried though, since he was one of jungkook's closest friends and still respectfully referred to him as hyung above all else. and if anything, jimin would always have a soft spot for jungkook, the kid he used to coddle when his own brother wasn't around. but having said that, there wasn't really much basis for not liking yugyeom. it was just a gut feeling jimin couldn't explain, a very subtle callousness about him only jimin could pick up on. for the most part he was just like very other mild mannered boy by day and party animal by night, but jimin still ducks when he sees him enter the library.
"fuck," he hisses under his breath, scooping up his laptop to stride behind a book shelf for good measure. because sometimes, contrary to popular belief, jimin wanted to be alone. he didn't want to make small talk or listen to someone tell him about how well they scored on their last paper or complain about their annoying girlfriend. sometimes jimin wanted to have no thoughts and listen to fleetwood mac as per his human rights. which is why he shoves into the first private study room he sees.
and not an empty one at that. there's a girl inside, sitting cross-legged in her chair at a desk with an array of dried up paint tubes and brushes surrounding open sketchbooks. you don't look annoyed or even that phased, just amused as you give him a once over before going back to painting. "on the run from solji?"
jimin blinks, back still pressed against the door. "huh?" he regards you properly. "i'm sorry, have we met before?"
"not really," you admit with a sheepish smile, which is when jimin suddenly realises that you're...attractive. "solji is in my stats class. you hooked up with her last week at some party and she told me about it."
"oh," jimin takes in your plethora of art supplies. "you don't look like a stem student."
there's a glimmer of something in your eyes, and though you hide it well jimin knows he's struck a nerve. "yeah, i get that a lot."
"it's not solji by the way," jimin clarifies. for some reason. "that i'm hiding from. just a bellend i don't have the energy for right now."
you smile. "it's fine. you don't owe me your life story."
"i do when i'm about to impose on your...study time," jimin peers through the window in the door, wincing when yugyeom enters the hallway. "what would it take for you to let me stay in here for a while?"
you pause for a second. "honestly? just be quiet and leave me alone. is that okay?"
jimin perks up, a weight leaving his chest. "perfect, actually."
x
x
x
[jungkook 11:42pm]: why does it say wings on it
[jungkook 11:42pm] where is it flying
[you: 11:43pm] ffs kook
[you: 11:44pm] im still on the toilet can u just hurry up
[you 11:44pm] grab some tampons too pls
[jungkook 11:46pm] fine what size pussy do u wear
[you 11:46pm] i hate u
[jungkook 11:53pm] ???? ? ? well? ????
[you 11:54pm] REGULAR 
jungkook giggles at his phone, already having left the women's sanitary aisle to grab some chocolate. months later and teasing you was still bundles of fun. he knew for a fact that you were sat there with that angry pout on your face, nose crinkled. he had never bought anything like this before, but jungkook had enough brain cells to know that chocolate was another necessity for that time of the month. after grabbing a large hazelnut bar, he pauses beside the oreos before grabbing a packet of those too. just for good measure. he strides to the self checkout - because even he wasn't man enough for the cashier yet - nearly dropping his array of sanitary products and confectionary when somebody calls out his name from behind the queue.
"kook!" the voice is unmistakably yugyeom's, confirmed by the hand that clamps jungkook over the shoulder and swivels him round before he could think about hiding his socially compromising shopping items. it takes a second for yugyeom to notice, doing a double take at the pads atop his small tower of goods. he holds back a laugh, balancing a bottle of gin in one hand while he waves back at some friends to continue. they were clearly making their pit stop before a night out, probably pre's if they still start as late as jungkook remembers. with his hair styled and expensive cologne lingering, jungkook almost forgets he probably looks unrecognisable in his sweats and cotton-fresh hoodie. friday nights weren't for cuddling. still, yugyeom's smile is welcoming and familiar. "got the munchies? and maybe also a uterus?"
"shut up," jungkook grumbles, averting his eyes. he shifts to his other foot uncomfortably. "my friend just needed a favour, that's all."
"uh huh," yugyeom gives him a teasing look. "is this friend the reason why i barely saw you at jin's the other week?"
jungkook blinks back at him. "wait, you were at that party? i had no idea!" a boyish smile breaks over his face. "why didn't you call me? i haven't seen you since-"
"minseok-hyung's new years eve party," yugyeom throws his head back with a laugh. "remember how we ended up on a boat after the ball dropped and-"
"spent all of new years day detained by the coast guard!" jungkook finishes with a mischievous cackle of his own, nearly dropping the tampons in the process. "fuck, that was so much fun! we need to meet up again, i haven't been out with the guys in so long."
"well no wonder," he quips a brow at jungkook's shopping again. "word got out you're a family man but i didn't believe it. until now, that is."
jungkook's smile falls. "what do you mean?"
yugyeom looks at him for a second, confused by jungkook's surprise. yugyeom was never quite as diplomatic as namjoon or yoongi, to put it lightly. and definitely nowhere near as accomodating as jimin. which is why his next words make jungkook's back stiffen. "bro, look at yourself. you got dairy milk in one hand and tampax in the other. on a friday night. the next time i see you i wouldn't be shocked if you had a baby buggy and a mortgage." still, yugyeom throws him an apologetic look. like a mouse caught in a trap. "face it, kook. you're old news."
"what? that's not true," his brows furrow unhappily. "i don't know what you're talking about. it's not like she's my..."
he can't say the word, but it hangs between them like a dead weight.
"yeah, right," the condescending look on yugyeom's face was starting to agitate him. "you totally blanked us at jin's after she showed up. not even just jin's..." he thinks twice about holding his tongue, but as always, decides against it. "i don't know you, jungkook. whoever this new jungkook is. it's been months. you used to hit us up and be independent and spontaneous and wild and now you're just...someone's boyfriend.
"stop fucking saying that," jungkook snaps, all visible signs of friendliness gone.
"why?" a beat. "do you even use a wrap with her anymore?"
jungkook splutters, heat rushing to his ears and hands in a stinging combination of anger and embarrassment. "how is that any of your business? the fuck are you asking me something like that, as if you-"
"thought so," yugyeom looks away from him with a sigh. if anything, yugyeom knew never to overstay his welcome but that clearly backfired tonight. "whatever, jungkook," he looks over his shoulder at him. "guess you're the last one to find out you're officially married."
"you're ridiculous," jungkook scoffs. "all this over condoms? grow up, yugyeom."
"only couples do it raw," yugyeom turns away from him, alcohol in tow as he waves a hand over his shoulder to join his friends like jungkook was nothing but a lost cause. "you would remember that if you still had game."
jungkook stands there, dumbfounded while the group of boys exit the store noisily but he can't hear a thing. the siren that had been itching the back of his mind all this time was suddenly there at full force, right between his eyes. the glaring truth that yugyeom might be right makes his knees buckle. all those rules jungkook once had, all those measures he kept in place to protect his liberty, to prevent this very occurence - where were they? what happened to them? as the sweet and accommodating counterpart to jimin, why had you never complied? though, the blame wasn't on your hands alone. he got complacent, comfortable. lenient. and now without even realising he was here, a scene from a romcom in the middle of the night, with nothing to say for himself but fuck. the realisations wouldn't stop racing, one after another on the conveyer belt of his anxiety.
the photos on his phone; mostly you. time spent, usually with you. the portfolio for his latest photography module also had some resemblance to your interests. charcoal pencils, night drives, orchids. like the ones you always drew on any scrap of paper lying around. now that he thinks about it, he's seen nothing but your orchids for months. and not just that - you wore his clothes sometimes too. his bathroom had your toothbrush, contraceptive pills and coconut shampoo. his closest friends, his hyungs...not one of them was devoid of affection for you. he wasn't even confident that if the choice was presented, they would still pick him over you.
by the time jungkook finishes paying and practically sprints to his truck in a daze, he can hardly keep himself from shaking. he palms the wheel compulsively, he could feel the sweat in his sideburns, hoodie suddenly suffocating him. it smelled of you.
and then, like a final curtain call: was he just your latest fixer-upper project? some good girl wet dream to play out in the wake of your emotionally traumatic past? a slap in the face to seokjin, maybe, and nothing more? when you were done, when he was out of your system, when you knew his taste by heart and had nothing new left to try - would you stay? did you even know how to?
did he?
jungkook starts the engine. he drives to your door, drops your bag of snacks and pads on the porch, and texts you before leaving. he does not go inside.
x
x
x
"you sure you'll be okay with just the boys?"
you scoff at seulgi when she pins you with a worrying look, taking some of her clothes out of her bag to re-fold them just so you had something to do with your hands. jisoo had already left for the long weekend with her family, so there was no one there to fill up the empty space between your awakward reply. you didn't know how to tell the girls that jungkook hadn't contacted you in nearly a month. and even though he was a notable flight risk from the beginning, you couldn't help but feel like there was hostility there. every now and again he'd at least send a nude or have a quick phone call when he was drunk or high at three in the morning, but you hadn't heard a peep from him. you couldn't stand the idea of someone you cared about harbouring comtempt for you, but the fear of reaching out and somehow making the situation worse outweighed it tenfold. 
you look up to see seulgi still staring at you with concern. "of course i'll be fine! they're boys, not piranhas."
"at least piranhas contribute our ecosystem. boys just cause problems for the hell of it," seulgi lays a hand on the crown of your head like a berating big sister, swivelling you to look at her in your fit of giggles. the urge to nestle you under blankets like a baby bird made her chest heave, and you could tell. "i'm serious. if jimin tries anything, call me immediately okay?"
"jimin?" you snort. "out of a room full of delinquents, my ex, and taehyung, you're worried about jimin of all people?"
seulgi wrinkles her nose. "god, when you say it like that its like i'm throwing you to the dogs." she pauses. "something's up with jimin. i don't know what it is, but he's...off."
you tilt your head innocently, remembering the brief interaction you had with hobi at seokjin's party. you had been so caught up in jungkook - or lack thereof - you hadn't thought to press him about it afterwards. in truth, jimin remained as...jimin as ever. if he was acting differently you certainly couldn't tell. "you think so?"
"mmm," she leans on the lip of the open suitcase thoughtfully. "but maybe with jungkook there, he'll behave himself."
you gulp, fiddling with his watch on your wrist anxiously. "maybe."
x
x
x
you nearly yelp when you feel a big hand swivel around your waist, bucking into the kitchen counter reflexively. jungkook always did this before rubbing his boner against your ass, but the light scent of citrus and short squeeze lets you know immediately that its taehyung. hoseok, jimin, namjoon and yoongi were still in the living room playing video games, giving taehyung the perfect opening to intercept you. namjoon and yoongi had insisted that you come over to their place after finding out you'd be alone for the weekend, and you had completely refused before taehyung's coaxing. and of course, jimin's persuasive nudging. even though you felt safe and relaxed here, it felt wrong to be in jungkook's friends' place without him. almost like a breaching of an unspoken boundary.
and clearly, taehyung picked up on your discomfort by the way he stared at you so softly. his back was to the sink, his sillhouette particularly long and lean this evening. "you need to lighten up, princess. you keep looking over your shoulder so much it's making me nervous!"
your visibly droop with a sigh. "i'm sorry tae. i've had a lot on my mind lately, and..."
he claps his hands on your shoulders, teeth peeking through his grin. "you're not doing anything illegal by being here without jungkook."
you wince at his name. "have you always been able to read my mind like this?"
"absolutely," taehyung's brown eyes look so rich up close. "you're allowed to have friends that are also his friends, because - and try to stick with me on this - relationships between people are allowed to be independant from the primary circles they met in. mind boggling concept, i know."
you wack him on the chest until he laughs. "stop making fun of my anxious thought processes! its called mental illness, sherlock! i can't help it!"
his nose scrunches cutely, enjoying your first fiery outburst of the day. "whatever. i call it not getting laid for a month and losing critical thinking abilities from it."
you gape at him indignantly while taehyung roars with laughter. "you're such a dickhead," you hiss through gritted teeth, yanking his hair and jabbing your fingers in his sides the way you would with jimin during a tickle fight. "whores have feelings too, taehyung! whores have feelings too!"
you both fall about with laughter, knocking over half the snacks on the counter in the process which only makes the pair of you laugh even more. it's such childish chaos trying to clean up the mess on the tiny kitchen floor that neither of you notice the front door open, or the gust of metaphorical and literal wind that follows. watching taehyung trying to salvage a bag of broken crisps is just so funny that the presence of an another voice in the living room goes unregistered, as do the footsteps leading up the hallway to the kitchen, so you have no time to brace yourself or properly pull yourself together with you see-
"...jungkook."
yours and taehyung's heads snap to the doorway. jungkook stands there with almost complete lack of emotion on his face to the pair of you kneeling in crumbs and napkins. there's a brief pause where the tension in your eye contact alone was so strong that it felt wrong to breathe. but it is shortlived. jungkook tiptoes over you like spilled milk, reaching for a glass of water. you and taehyung lock eyes while the tap runs in the awkward silence. "hey. you okay?"
"um," you're not sure whether to stand up, hug him, look at him, or even face him. "yeah! yeah, i'm fine."
he nods politely. "hyung?"
even taehyung looks visibly uncomfortable. "i'm good."
"cool. see you later," he says, downing the glass impressively fast before leaving the room just as fast as he entered it.
you and taehyung stare at each other again, not understanding why you both feel like kids caught eating cake before dinner. you could feel the sweat pricking at your back from the realisation. jungkook had no idea you'd be here, and given that interaction he'd probably want to leave now. there was always the inkling woven between his radio silence that he was done with you, but you never let yourself take it seriously out of logic. because how could months of passion and tenderness and honesty be undone so irrevocably like that? it didn't make sense. you hadn't changed. you were the same girl he hit on relentlessly and chased against all odds. so what was different now?
"____," taehyung calls your name gently, and it's only then you realise you're already up and trailing after jungkook into the living room. when you walk in he's already putting his shoes on to leave again, barely making eye contact with you while he chats absently to his hyungs so he can look busy. the four boys on the large sofa can only reply wearily, eyes darting between the pair of you like a firework was about to blow to soon. and it was.
you could feel it in your throat, under your breast bone, bubbling up your stomach. "wait, jungkook. um...h-how have you been? i haven't heard from you in-"
"i've been good," he keeps tying and re-tying his laces without looking up. "super busy. you know how it is."
his curtness makes you flinch. this same time last month jungkook used to kiss you senseless before he had both feet in the door. he'd ring the doorbell incessantly like a child and greet you with the biggest, toothiest grin you had ever seen. he'd make fun of your bed head and squeeze your cheeks until you'd snap at him. and now when he looked at you he hated every second of it. your mother had the same look. your eyes start to burn involuntarily. "yeah, i do. how is uni? your final project is due soon, right? what theme did you pick in the end?"
"the one i told you about," he stands up abruptly. "sorry, noona. something came up. i'll see you arou-"
"something came up?" you step closer to him. "something came up the second you saw my face? or did you really just trek all the way to your hyungs' place for a glass of water, jungkook?"
jungkook stiffens, but is determined not to lose face. and it's difficult to do under your big, accusatory eyes and jimin's death stare at his back. the whole room was waiting for his response, so he just shoves his hands in his pockets resolutely. "i needed to see yoongi hyung, but i can come another time."
you fold your arms. "well it's clearly important, and you're here now. so don't let me stop you."
"but you will stop me," jungkook snaps. "that's the problem."
"kook-ah," yoongi warns quietly, but he took one look at your face and knew the damage was done. jimin was already standing up, circling around the back of the sofa towards you. the red lights were all there; your watery eyes, your trembling hands. every breath you took looked difficult for you to complete and only jimin noticed.
"what are you talking about?" you squint. it takes you a second to understand; yoongi's guilty expression, jungkook's indifference. "oh, you're fucking kidding me." your resolve breaks for a second turning away only to glare back at jungkook with so much fire you can hardly stand it. "you're selling again? are you insane, jungkook?"
"see," jungkook's eyes are stony. "i knew you'd get this way."
"what other way am i supposed to get?" his lack of response only infuriates you more. it felt disrespectful. "jungkook, you're not a kid anymore. if you get caught with drugs the consequences are serious! forget the potential jail time, you could get kicked out of university, it would go on your record forever and-"
"stop talking to me like i'm a kid!"
"then stop acting like one!" you hate raising your voice, but it keeps climbing without your approval. "did you think about this for even five minutes? this isn't like just going to juvie like before and being done with it jungkook. your hyungs can't bail you out of everything."
"this is a lot of talk for someone who lapped up those fancy paints without a second thought," jungkook says darkly. his eyes aren't like you remember, his face solemn and near unrecognisable. "or did you think that getting that kind of money overnight is only something that's possible through daddy's credit card?"
dread blooms like a garden inside you. "that's...that's how you bought the paint set?"
"welcome to the real world," he quips. "as if selling overpriced weed to a bunch of pick-me-freshmans is considered a crime against humanity to anyone but you."
"you think that's why i'm yelling at you right now?" your voice was growing hoarse, desperate. "you think that's the problem i have with you being literal drug dealer, jungkook?"
he hates it. the sweltering silence, the judgmental eyes digging into his back, the slow realisation that the tears in your eyes were not at him but for him. jungkook's ears ring enough to make him sway on the spot if his feet weren't planted so firmly on the dingy carpet, this metaphorical ground. he couldn't shake the feeling that his lifestyle was only an issue now because of you, how he never felt a shred of guilt about any of this shit until he met you. and if there was anything that jungkook never responded well to, it was pity. and he could feel it from every person in the room, all people that that once cherished and coddled him until you came along. he swallows, throat dry from the way he couldn't look at you knowing what he was going to say next.
"you're embarrassing yourself, noona. you're not my girlfriend and you never were, so stop acting like it."
cotton. it's very faint, under the layers of conflicting cologne and beer and smoke, but jungkook still smelled of cotton while he spat acid. nobody could speak, even though jungkook never raised his voice let alone a hand to you, it still hit like a slap in the face. it sunk into the walls, your clothes, suddenly every hair on your body felt heavy with it. dirty. the shame came first, the humiliation next. and then the sorrow, the dread, and finally the defeat. you knew the stages well by now, and they were cycling through you like clockwork. how foolish you were, to make the same mistake again. nobody dared to move, everyone but jungkook staring at you in denial and horror. they couldn't believe their eyes when you nod steadily, bowing your head to the floor.
jimin is already slotting himself between you, his jaw tight. "that's enough, kook. just leave already."
"no," you stop him, unnervingly resigned. that single word cuts through all six men with ease. "he's right." you step around jimin, closing the space between you and jungkook. for a brief moment he wonders if you'll actually hit him, but somehow watching you unclasp his watch from your wrist and drop it on the coffee table in front of him is far worse. the sound seems to ring like church bells, definitive and umistakable. "you're right, i'm not your girlfriend. you win jungkook."
they all watch you leave in dismay, listen to the door closing softly behind you. within a second jimin sprints after you, calling your name, leaving everyone else dumbfounded. jungkook's stare could bore a hole into the abandoned watch on the table, still ticking away like nothing changed. like his eyes weren't burning, lightheaded at the realisation that he would never wear a watch again let alone the one he put on you.
x
x
x
to an outsider, you looked like you were coping well considering you just got dumped in front of all your friends. but jimin knew that face. your stony eyes, lips pulled thin as if to seal inside the collapse of a monument. you took the tea he offered, and then his arms, your face finding his chest with ease. muscle memory. his torso was a tad shorter than jungkook's, his heart closer to your mouth as if the steady thumps were asking for a kiss of acknowledgement. every time you close your eyes you could see jungkooks face, hard and unforgiving and nothing like the man you trusted all this time. but it wasn't a new expression; you parents looked at you similarly the last time you saw them. it was the look of someone who had no regrets cutting all ties. and now, jungkook was behind them in a lost list of people who chose to be strangers over loving you.
jimin sighs when you cry into his chest, brushing the back of your head gently. he had been ready for this for months, but he still hated to see you this way. again. it made his bones itch, his skin crawl uncomfortably every time you weeped. the only time he considered violence was when you were crying. but he knew what to do, laying down across the sofa so you could curl up into a ball next him, head on his bicep and face smushed into the crook of his shoulder. you used to cry like this for hours and hours, his arm familiar with the prickle of pins and needles. but it was the only place you felt safe. tucked into jimin's side is where you would always belong, and that truth was more glaringly obvious than ever now.
"lets get something to eat," he offers eventually, hand craddling the crown of your head like a child. jimin's other hand on your hip is warm and heavy when he pats you soothingly. in your episodes, you responded well to touch. "what about thai food?"
"not hungry," you grumble against him.
"we could make something together?" he peers down at your lack of response. "come on, babe. you gotta eat something. you didn't even have breakfast-"
"why am i so stupid?" you whisper, a fresh bout of tears welling up.
jimin rubs your thigh. "it's not your fault."
"yes it is. jungkook gave me plenty of red flags, and i ignored all of them-"
"oh, i meant you being stupid."
you scoff. "cheers."
"what?" jimin cocks a brow when you lift your head to look up at him. he wets his lips and you follow the swipe of his tongue thoughtlessly, distracted enough by his touch and proximity that you take a second to digest his words. "it's not like any of this exactly came as a surprise. you ignored me, remember? wanted to flex your big girl pants."
you pull away from him and sit up, forcibly shutting out the daze that jimin routinely puts you under. "what's wrong with you? can't you be polite and wait for a couple hours before laying into me like a normal person? jesus, jimin."
"so let me get this straight," jimin sits up, watching your back as you sit away from him. "you're mad because i'm not telling you what you want to hear?"
"no," you say, head shaking. "i'm not mad. i'm upset because i came here to be comforted by my friend and you're just making me feel worse."
"what do you want me to say, ____? that i had high hopes from the start?" jimin pushes his hair back, brows now at a sharp incline from frustration. "i told you starting something with jungkook was trouble but you didn't listen. why should i feed your victim complex when all i've done is try to help you?"
"victim complex?" you repeat, standing up slowly. the sudden steadiness of your voice causes jimin to panic.
"not like that. don't take it like that, it's just," he's suddenly before you, his warm hands palming up your arms warmly. "i didn't wanna see you get like this and it happened anyway, is all i'm saying." he sighs when your scowl doesn't let up. "if hobi hyung hadn't have given up so easy, then maybe…maybe this would never have happened. maybe if i had been harsher with him then you would have-"
"what are you talking about?" you ask quietly, searching jimin's face. "give up so easy? what's that supposed to mean?"
he looks away, hands slipping off you. "it's nothing."
"jimin."
he struggles to look at you, tongue in cheek. his lips purse for a moment, pink like roses. he's wearing that navy jumper you like. "look, it's not a big deal. he wasn't supposed to fuck you or anything, just take you out for a while. get your mind off kookie, show you a nice time."
your blood runs cold. "what?"
jimin's expression softens. "it's not as bad as it sounds-"
"really?" your voice is sharp, sharper than he's ever heard it. you recoil as if you had been struck for the second time today. "because it sounds like you asked some guy to keep me occupied like i'm a fucking dog. all because you can't stand the idea of me being within a meter of jungkook-"
he steps in, but you step back. "you know that's not true, _."
"don't i?" you scoff, covering your face in disbelief. "jimin, you've been hellbent against me even looking at the guy since day fucking one."
"because i didn't want you to get hurt!" jimin counters, eyes downcast. "i know, okay? i know how much of a dick it makes me sound, but its not like it hurt you when you had no idea! hoseok broke it off before you even knew about it so why-"
"because it's worse," you turn away from him. "you tried to control me. choose what's best for me because you think you know better than i do. sound familiar?"
his jaw sets, and it's like you can hear the twine snap in his head, the percussion of his heartbeat above yours even though he doesn't close the space between you. jimin stares at you for a long minute before drawing in a thin breath. "fine," he steps in, and you can't look away. "you want me to say it? fine. i'll say it."
suddenly the air is lace thin around you as you stare at him, waiting. jimin looks off somewhere else, somewhere you can't reach. "don't tell me you haven't thought about it, because i know you have. if i have you must have too. and lately its all i can think about - being with you, holding you, being the one who gets to touch you. and yeah, maybe it took having to see you with jungkook for me to realise how much i want all that, i put my hands up. but you have no idea what's it like to watch the person you love most get toyed around with by a time bomb like that. i've seen jungkook go through girls like underwear and i love him, god i love him, but even the idea of you being one of those wasted girls sitting outside a party crying over his sorry ass makes my fucking ears ring."
"j-jimin…" you whisper, but you have nothing to say. your hands shake.
"you deserve more than that, ____. you deserve more than waiting around for booty calls or living up to what the next guy wants. from jungkook, hoseok, anyone. you deserve someone's devotion and yeah, maybe all this time i've been too much of a pussy to give it. maybe all this time i was tiptoeing around my feelings for you because i knew if i admitted to myself that i loved you - if i admitted i was just like every other guy - i'd actually set the bar for something other than disappointment. id actually have to step up, and i didn't know if i could do it. i still don't. but if it has to be someone…it should be me."
suddenly he's holding your hands, calming the tremble that rattles them. his words bunch up together in your ears, the meaning lost amidst your awe. "jimin….jimin what are you saying? where is all this coming from, i don't...i don't understand wh-"
"i'm saying," he cups your face. "choose me." he pulls you in. so, so close. "choose me, not jungkook. not anyone else. me."
and there's a part of you that has already caved. that's already kissing him, melting into his arms like you've wanted to for so, so long. you're falling back onto the couch with him in a fit of giggles, curling back into his chest to hide your watery eyes, asking him why the fuck he took so long. you chat together between teasing kisses, pour your hearts out, maybe cry a little. later you would make tea and order pad thai and watch the office all night and fall asleep together in the living room well past dawn and then-
you close your eyes. "i can't."
"you can," jimin says, so passionately you shudder. his brown eyes are teaming with too much determination and ardour for his own good, and you both know it. its difficult to grapple with how huge a risk he's taking, because jimin never takes risks. it made the whole situation seem dire. "you know you can, ____. it's us. there's no one like us."
you don't know how you're not crying yet. you only have jimin to hold onto, hands balled in his shirt without knowing if you're about to push him away or pull him in forever. "maybe back then. maybe if you'd have said all this before," you feel empty, the beat of your pulse suddenly strong in your fingertips. "but it doesn't matter anymore."
he shakes his head in denial, his determination palpable. "of course it does-"
"i'm in love with him," you say. to jimin. to yourself. to the world, finally. "i'm in love with jungkook." holding jimin's stare isn't as difficult as you thought it'd be. "you know if you'd have done all this a few months ago…if you'd have just...i was always yours without question, jimin. and you knew it." it's his turn to bristle under the strain of your voice. "jungkook isn't perfect. i'll be the first one to admit that. he's made me cry, he fucks up, he makes mistakes. but he's never lied to me. he never made decisions for me. he never passed judgement on what i should or shouldn't do with my life. something that i never thought i wouldn't able to say about you, too."
there's a brief moment where everything stops. neither of you can believe what you just said. jimin watches you, frozen in his place as you take your bag, eyes glittering with tears when he calls for you. suddenly he's the time bomb he feared becoming, the panic in his eyes lighting them up like fire crackers. for the first time in his life, he stumbles over his words, and then his feet when you reach for the door, all composure lost. he was unravelling like a tapestry in front of you, never to be repaired, and he could feel it. "____. ____, please," jimin chokes, his cheeks blotchy. "i wanted to protect you, i was just trying to help. don't go. please don't go. i was trying to help you."
"no. you were trying to have me." you say, closing the door behind you.
x
x
x
you have no idea what time it is when you hear the bell ring incessantly.
it had been hours since you'd returned home from jimin's, but there was no way for you to keep track when your only priority was just keeping yourself afloat. you turned your phone off, drew the curtains, and resolved to alternate between sitting in seulgi and jisoo's rooms until they came back. you didn't know what else to do. when you weren't crying you were hyperventilating, and when that stopped the absence of emotion was so powerful you could barely keep your eyes open. you were exhausted but could not sleep. starving but could not eat. it was a miracle you even made it down the stairs, using what little strength you had to yank it open without even thinking about who could be on the other side in the middle of the fucking night. but at this point, you would gladly take a serial killer over jimin or jungkook.
"taehyung," you breathe when you take in his face, relieved. you must look like absolute shit because he scans your face and winces. 
"jimin told me," he says, the apology in his voice and expression was almost painful to register. "he told me everything. ____, i'm so sorry. i should have told you about the hoseok thing, i just thought it would be worse coming from me, and then i tried to force jimin into confessing but then he didn't because he's jimin, and now-"
"you're only allowed to come inside if you stop apologising," you say weakly, voice haggered from the hours of crying.
taehyung's pouty expression almost makes you smile with how cute he looks, gingerly stepping over the threshhold. "i really am sorry though."
"for what," you say monotonously, closing the door behind him while he takes off his shoes. "my inexplicably terrible taste in men? my uncanny ability to get manipulated by literally anyone who shows me a scrap of affection? or my absolutey shredded-to-shit attachment style thats barely intact let alone functioning healthily? after hoppping between the first two for a few hours i'd personally go for the latter. but whatever."
"please shut up," taehyung sighs, bringing you into his arms before you could have a second thought about it. "you need to amp up the misandry in this context. a lot of this had nothing to do with you and everything to do jimin and jungkook."
you're too tired to open your eyes, snuggling into the softness of taehyung's chest. you’re too exhausted to argue. "where did you learn the word misandry? have you been reading?"
"yeah," you can hear his big, pleased grin. "i know you and the girls have been calling me a himbo behind my back."
"affectionately," you add, peering up at him. he wipes the wetness off your cheeks, moving upstairs to your room with your hand in his. he fetches you a glass of water before putting you into bed like he's paid to do it. taehyung was the cuddliest person you had ever met, but you had rarely seen him dote on anyone. "girls love himbos. it's a compliment."
"not all girls," he mutters when he returns from the bathroom with a glass of water. "drink this, would you? you look so dry it's making me itchy."
you do as he says with a roll of your eyes. "what do you mean?" you finish your water with a big gulp. "jisoo loves dumb guys, what are you talking about?"
taehyung looks away from you, bottom lip rolling up under his teeth so fast you barely catch it. he pulls up your desk chair next to your bed, thinking long and hard before meeting your eyes again. "i don't mean jisoo."
you don't understand at first, but after staring at his face for a long minute your stomach drops. "don't. don't you fucking dare," another beat of silence. you rip the covers off you to scamble to your knees, grab your pillow and hurl it at taehyung's head. "taehyung, please don't tell me that the one remaining, healthy relationship i have with a man has also been shot to shit because i swear to god i'm gonna-"
"it's not a big deal," he says firmly, and he really does mean it. taehyung catches your wrists when you lunge at him, effectively ending your outburst before it can begin. he keeps hold of them while he stares into your eyes, watching the way they fill up with a fresh bout of tears. "i've had a crush on you for a while, so what? it's not anyone's business but mine so don't worry about it."
you try not to scream at him. "how long?"
"...since the start." he shrugs. "it's not like i could have done anything anyway. with jimin around. he’d never have it."
"but...! but..." you splutter, the highlight reel of your friendship suddenly marred before your eyes. "but you let me talk to you about boys! you gave me advice with hobi and jimin and jungkook and...! you encouraged jimin to confess to me. and the whole thing with jisoo?"
he wets his lips guiltily. "jisoo is a nice girl. i like her, but...not like you. i've always liked you."
you shake your head in horror, your face crumpling. bile rose in your throat. "so all of that...playing with my friend like that. was just to get to me?"
"listen to me," taehyung says firmly, gripping your wrists to make you look at him again. he's so close you can feel the warmth of his breath on yours, and you never realised how large taehyung's torso was compared to yours before. he could have smothered you, but he didn't. in all senses. "the way jimin and jungkook handled their feelings is on them, just like how this is on me. it doesn't matter if i'm fucking you or not, you're my friend and i'll always want people to do right by you. and that includes me."
there was nothing else to say, so taehyung wordlessly wipes your face again and fetches you more water before retreating to sleep on the couch downstairs. all the while you sat there in your bed, confused and bewildered and thoughtful. the same bed jungkook fucked you on. the same bed jimin held you in. out of all the men in your life, taehyung was the only one who treated his feelings for you with reverence. there wasn't one interaction you could think of where he made his feelings clear, where he even hinted towards wanting something more. if he hadn't have said anything tonight, in the wake of one of the most emotionally tumultuous days of your life, you would still be in the dark about it all. and that was the scariest part. you didn't know anyone else who hadn't let their feelings for you effect how they treated you. so ultimately, it was possible.
and jimin and jungkook chose not to do that. but taehyung did.
taehyung did.
when you finally pad downstairs after hours of ruminating, jisoo's bedroom door is wide open. and that's who you should be thinking about now - your friend and sister jisoo - as the sky begins to lighten with the signs of morning. you hadn't slept for over twenty four hours, you were hungry and thirsty, delirious from the whirlwind of losing the two most important men in your life in one day. but still, you are drawn to taehyung. taehyung, who never asked anything of you. taehyung, who was as silent as he was selfless this whole time. taehyung who routinely put what he wanted aside in favour of what was best for you. taehyung, who protected you without needing credit or recognition for it. taehyung, taehyung, taehyung, taehyung, taehyung-
"taehyung," you whisper scraping your nails through his hair. his eyes fluttered open, twisting his head to face you as you hovered above him. he could barely see you in the darkness. "taehyung, wake up."
"what is it?" he croaks, sitting up with half-lidded eyes and a yawn. he doesn't know how to read the expression on your face. he swings his legs off the sofa in a sitting position, wearing nothing but his boxers and tee, visibly alarmed. "what happened? are you okay?"
you take his face in your hands and kiss him. 
taehyung stiffens against you, breath drawn thin. you pull away to gauge his expression, desperately searching his eyes in the darkness. for discomfort, disapproval, anything negative at all. the absolute ardour you find instead could knock you down if taehyung didn't reach for your neck, kissing you again. you whine at the feel of his tongue, having no idea where such sudden and intense arousal was coming from. when you pull away with shaky limbs, you climb onto his thick thighs so he can feel your wetness through his boxers. taehyung grunts at the sensation, and again when you kiss him passionately and without abandon. the sweet girl every guy he knew was agonising over, suddenly in his lap. he's barely had his tongue down your throat for ten minutes and you're already rocking into him, his erection betraying his resolve.
it's better than he dreamed. 
"taehyung," you gasp, palming him now. he groans when he pulls away to look at your mouth, glistening with his saliva when you take his hand and guide it down to your arousal. "please."
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ivybucky · 5 months ago
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dog tags and photographs - s.r. x fem!reader
Request from @moonstuffsteve : OK OK BUT CAN I REQUEST A STEVE FIC WHERE READER IS LIKE WASHING HIS UNIFORM AND FINDS A PICTURE OF HER IN THE SUIT AND GETS ALL HAPPY AND LIKE STEALS HIS DOGTAGS AND STEVE THINKS ITS THE CUTEST THING EVER THANK YOU
a/n: this was adorable and just so domestic so thank you Al! I’ve fallen into a nice little writing routine recently and ive been cranking these requests out like they’re NOTHING. as always, thanks for supporting my writing and fics i put out- i really want this blog to turn into something great, but i need to work on it a little bit more. 
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author: abby<3
words: 1385
cw: mention of stress, rough mission, domesticity, worry
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Y/N smiled to herself as she listened to her boyfriend’s snores echoing through the apartment, something he swore he didn’t do. She had half a mind to record it, but the win wasn’t worth the fight.
She picked his uniform off the ground of the bedroom, shaking off whatever dust she could. His undershirt was thrown across the room next to the bed. She gathered it in her arms before looking towards his sleeping face. His hair had stuck to his forehead, sweat and dirt acting as an adhesive. Her nails picked at it, brushing it away from his face, before laying a sweet kiss to his forehead where his brows were drawn up with whatever dream he was having.
It wasn’t uncommon for her to wash Steve’s uniform. While he was definitely a gentleman, who would never make her do his laundry, Y/N took pride in doing this for him whenever he had a rough mission. He could sleep off the stress while you made sure he woke up to a stress and responsibility-free environment.
She huffed, walking towards the washer, making a mental reminder to set his combat boots out to dry the mud he tried to avoid tracking in. How many pockets does a combat suit need? You don’t see Nat with this many pockets. She knew how Steve was, how he had his own knives, and tools scattered between the fabric of his uniform. Opening every pocket was more of a chore than actually doing the washing, but it was part of the process.
Her hands brushed over soft paper, different from the usual metals that she found from extra bullets to blades. No, this was soft, pliable to her working fingers. She tugged the gently folded piece from his chest pocket. Curiosity grabbed a hold of her, urging her to unfold it and inspect it carefully. It was a photo of the two of them, when they had gone out for her birthday in the last month. He had pulled them to the park, stopping by her favorite store, and then taking a stroll. Y/N had convinced him to take pictures with the self timer on her polaroid, leading to him keeping the photo.
She hadn’t expected him to hold to it like this, folded neatly into the pocket of what he wore whenever he was away from her. She smiled, remembering how he had wrapped his arms around her that day, resting his chin at the juncture of her neck. Happy looked good on him.
She set the photo down in the basket she used to keep his things together, reminding herself to ask about it later. The washer rumbled slightly as the heavy fabric sloshed in the water.
“Sweetheart?” He called through the apartment, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
“Hi sleepyhead,” she wrapped her arms around his middle. “Did you sleep okay?”
“Yeah, I think so. Where’s my-”
“In the wash, don’t worry about it.”
“Wait,” his back stiffened in panic. “Is it already running?”
“Baby, I said don’t worry I got everything out of the pockets.”
He paused again, cheeks going a little bit redder. “Everything?”
Y/N only smiled knowingly, reaching up to press a smile to his cheek. “Everything. Now what do you want for dinner?”
He smiled sheepishly, following her into the kitchen.
----
A couple of weeks had gone by and all Y/N felt was guilt. While she knew that she was caring enough in her relationship with Steve, she had sort of underestimated her importance to him. Important enough to carry a physical photograph in his uniform.
And while he obviously had held onto something of her while he was away, Y/N had yet to find something to bring her own self any kind of comfort. Most days spent alone while Steve was on a mission were spent trying to stay busy, to keep her mind off worrying. The missions where he couldn’t communicate were the worst. The only thing to keep her feet on the ground was their apartment. The way his scent lingers on the sheets, the small stack of drawing journals in the corner of their room, the record player sitting in the living room. While they were all things uniquely him, they weren’t close enough, needing to hold more meaning.
He was gone now, hundreds of miles away, doing what he did best - be a hero. Y/N’s knee bounced as she sat back on the couch, waiting for her boyfriend to return. He had sent a message hours ago, saying he was on his way back, saying not to wait up. She knew she would stay away as long as she could though, just to see him when he returned.
She tried to relax, wearing one of his large t-shirts and listening to a soft record as she waited. Time, however, was not kind and only continued to move slowly. With a sigh, she decided to do some chores, any chores that were left, to pass the time. That is when she saw them.
While Steve had amazing leadership skills, he was, in reality, quite forgetful when he wasn’t focused on doing his patriotic deeds. That’s why when Y/N moved to the bathroom to change out the towels and saw Steve’s dog tags on the counter, she paused. Thin metal was smooth through fingers, save for the imprints of his name and service numbers that her thumb ran over gently.
It was bittersweet, honestly - holding the thing that began Steve’s entire career, and not having him there to bring any kind of comfort. She pushed away whatever sadness remained, clutching the chain to her chest as she walked back to the living room. Without thinking too much about it, she slipped the necklace over her head, letting the tags hang just under her sternum.
Suddenly, she had something. Something with much more meaning than a scent, something tangible, something close enough. Her worried adrenaline left her body, and as she settled into the couch, she was able to fall asleep with ease for the first time since he had left.
--
Steve was almost worried when he entered the quiet apartment. His return was usually met with some kind of fanfare - a tight hug around his neck, a body scan for any injuries, an interrogation of his mental well-being. Tonight though, the apartment remained quiet as he shuffled through the threshold of the front door. His eyes swept over what he could see, finding nothing too out of place. Of course she cleaned. His ears, those genetically modified ears, however, picking up the slight snore, something she swore she didn’t do, of her sleeping form.
His feet carried him to the living room where she laid against the cushions, wrapped in his shirt, clutching his military tags in her hand. His shoulders dropped as he took in the sight, a new kind of relief hitting his body.
He crouched down, a dirty hand gently brushing the hair away from her forehead. “Y/N?”
“Mmm?” she mumbled, brows scrunching at the vibration of his voice. “Steve? You’re home.”
“Yeah, baby,” he smiled. “Want me to carry you to bed?”
Y/N rubbed her eyes as she nodded, tags falling from her fingers. He swept her up in his arms, thanking a god he had strength in his body. Her head rested against his chest, hand trailing over his heart. His mouth pressed a kiss to her forehead, adoring the sight before him.
“You wearing my tags?” he asked softly, not wanting to disturb whatever peace she still held onto.
“‘M sorry. Was missing you.”
“Shh, baby, don’t apologize.” He set her body down in the bed, pulling the sheets up over body. “You look better in them than I do.”
He left her to take a shower, but not before she called out for him, grabby hands sent in his direction. “Steve?”
“I’m coming right back, I just gotta wash off. I’m covered in sweat.”
“Don’t care. C’mere.”
He chuckled, slipping out of his uniform and saddling up next to her under the sheets. He kissed her head again, whispering words of love and comfort as she fell back into her slumber.
He had never been happier to fall asleep in his life.
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forever tags: @avengers-do-it-better @maisondumepris​ @hamiltonwrite12​
steve and bucky tags: @fab-notfat​ @mcueveryday​ @nanners-the-great​ @mcubuckyandsteve @captainfile​ @moonstuffsteve​
steve only tags: @patzammit​
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wangxianficrecs · 7 months ago
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Fic Finder ~*~
1.  Help me, Mojo, you are my only hope! (ahem) I've tried finding a fic I read recently, but am going nuts with all my fruitless searching. It's a fic where Lan Qiren doesn't find out about Wei Wuxian's golden core until Wei Wuxian catches a cold and Lan Qiren has to look after him. It forces Lan Qiren - who until then had hated Wei Wuxian with a vengeance - to reevaluate everything he thought he knew. I thought it was part of a series, but maybe not? Thank you! ~ @clmoryel
FOUND!  By @clmoryel themself, heh:   Seasons of Falling Flowers by merakily (G, 40k, wangxian, lan qiren & wei wuxian, podfic)
This makes me think of Some Days. by jollytortoise my post here but there’s no golden core reveal.
~*~
2.  There are a couple Tumblr fics I’ve seen wherein WWX shows off his brilliance at Gusu Summer School: (a) one where he proceeds to hack the Cloud Recesses’ perimeter arrays and analyze their flaws (it’s his duty as Yunmeng Jiang’s Head Disciple to ensure that his shidis and shimeis will be safe there!), and (b) one where, during sword practice, he instantly discerns the underlying principle and metaphor of each Sect’s sword style. (All the better if these are also on AO3!)
2A FOUND! @gingermenace and @wishingforromance agree that it’s a Prompt fill by @shanastoryteller (sadly not on AO3)
2B FOUND!  @mythopoeticlicense and @gingermenace agree that this one is a different Prompt fill by @shanastoryteller (which may grow into an AO3 story someday)
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3.  There’s this fic I read where Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji had pretty much an existential crisis as they realized most of the Lan Rules were ridiculous or something like that and started purposely breaking rules making Wei Wuxian panic and I think they got drunk at one point I can’t remember if this was part of a series or a oneshot
FOUND?  Nonny says it could be nevermore, nevermore by agloeian (T, 115k, wangxian, WIP) ' except that was Lan Wangji and a time-travelling Lan Sizhui, not Lan Xichen. They both had an existential crisis, and decided to break as many rules as possible, including the one about alcohol.’
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4.  Hi, im sorry to bother you but ive been looking for a fic that takes place during cloud recesses study era, where wangji kissed wwx and thought he forced himself on him, so he asks to be punished by whipping. Wwx hears and runs to clarify in front of everyone that he very much DID want the kiss lwj so asks to be punished too, which leads to a hilarious scene where wangxian shamelessly confesses mid punishment in front of everyone. Ive been desperately trying to find it to no luck
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5.  Heyo !! I once read a fanfic which i absolutely loved but now I can't find it :[ So i was hoping maybe you could help?? </3 it's married wangxian in cloud recesses and there are female seamstresses who sew the lan robes; lwj wants to learn how to make a winter coat for wwx so he goes to a female seamstress who teaches him secretly; she also makes normal robes for wwx who struggles with putting them on because "there are too many layers" lmao; in the end wangxian surprise each other and it's all cute and fluffy!! Oh yea wwx also put a huge bow on himself i think
FOUND!  by @airmidcelt:  The Cloudweavers《云织之者》 by Joythea (T, 38k, wangxian)
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6.  Hi i love all your rec's so i wanted to ask you if you had read this fic where instead of jin zixuan it is lan wangji who dies and wei wuxian waits for him for 13 years and wwx also plays lwj s guqin and then lwj is reborn its a one short i have been searching it for a long time. ~ @alec-karnika
FOUND! by @afallengrace-note:  the passing of seasons by yoonminoml (fanficloverme96) (G, 13k, wangxian)
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7.   I still have a hope I can find this but there was a story where post-Sunshot Campaign an agreement was made with a Wen prisoner for WQ to transfer his core to WWX and when WWX goes to talk with the Wen before the surgery he finds out the prisoner is A-Yuan's bio dad who volunteered. There is a chance this was a time travel fic but possibly not. YOU'RE AWESOME <3
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8.  (CW: suicide, sexual assault.)Thank you very much for the work you do on reccing and finding MDZS fics. Your tumblr has been invaluable to me after I entered the fandom in January. [Yay, I’m so glad!]  I’m looking for a fic where Lwj starts to doubt his sect and the principles. He remembers an incident where a young Lan girl tried to kill herself because an elder molested her. There’s a confrontation with Lqr or the elders about why he left where Lwj mentions it. ~ @kitsileya
FOUND! by @airmidcelt and @skywise8123:  Unpack Your Heart by Terri Botta (Isilwath) (T, 22k, wangxian, Ch. 5 specifically) part of the series Share Your Silence.
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9.  hello! i was wondering if i could trouble you to include something in your next fic finder post? i think wwx was a demon/vampire and lwj a demon hunter(??). they teamed up so lwj invited wwx into cloud recesses, but wwx noticed their wards sucked. one time wwx left cr for whatever reason and came back to the wards being reset so he couldn't get in and he thought that this was lwj's way of breaking up with him (not sure if they were actually together) but it was just lxc fixing the wards. tyvm!
FOUND! by @artemisisdiana who says it’s a twitter threadfic:   vampire!wwx threadfic! by  fer @hyacinthsuns (sundiscus on AO3)
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10.   hello!! i hope you’re having an amazing day! i cant seem to find this wangxian fic where wwx pretends to be asleep every morning to see what lwj does in the morning. it’s super soft and sweet! thank you!
FOUND! by @theembodimentofawkwardness:  morning routine by t_why (M, 4k, wangxian)
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11.  Hello! I was wondering if you could maybe help me find a fic? I tried looking for it in the arranged marriage tag but couldn't find it but I think I've seen it on your blog before? Anyway, they decide to engage wwx to nmj and i'm not sure it was to make lwj jealous on purpose but that's what happened. It's firmly a wangxian only fic tho no poly. Any help is much appreciated :) thank you!
...  Hi! I'm the previous anon. I already found the fic haha. It was under your jealous lan wangji tag. Thanks again! Your blog is always super helpful. Have a great day! ❤
FOUND!  through Nonny’s own skills:  Marital Prospects by Vamillepudding (G, 19k, wangxian, my post)
ALSO!  @airmidcelt points out the threesome option:   An Elegant Solution by giraffeter (E, 205k, niewangxian)
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12.  Hello i hope you and your followers can help me find a fic. It’s lan wangji running after & throwing something at wei wuxian bc he woke up next to the man in the jingshi and he doesn’t remember him (I’m not sure if it’s bc of amnesia or age regression tho) and lqr chastises lwj. If I remember it correctly, i think lqr went “is that anyway to treat your spouse?” at lwj. Also if it’ll help i think it’s a chaptered fic.
FOUND!  @fondofeveryprickle thinks it could be An Arrow Through Time by syrus_jones (M, 167k, wangxian, WIP) where ‘lwj travels to the future and wakes up in bed with wwx (in Mo XuanYu's body). they don't use wwx's name, and always calls him lwj's spouse/husband’
FOUND!  @insideupsideoutdown says another option is yours to hold by radishtears (T, 10k, wangxian)
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13.  Hi! I'm looking for a Wangxian story I read back in November 2020 on AO3, a Modern AU, Lan Zhan and Wei Ying are both medical residents, WY in orthopaedic surgery and LZ in cardiology. There is a patient of WY, a little girl with fragile bones. LZ helps WY to heal her (the little girl had a lupus). The author was a medical resident. It's finished, a one-shot and it's not Anginal Equivalents. Could you help me please? I'm pretty desperate T-T ~ @silu-chan
SOMETHING SIMILAR! but not exactly what you want is Year Of Night Call by ailuridae (abigailnicole) (T, 22k, wangxian, my post)
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14.  Okay so hey, I love your blog!! I've read many amazing fics because of it! [Thank you!] I'd like to ask you and your followers help for searching a fic? It might've been a oneshot or maybe not idk but essentially: a wangxian modern/college au where WWX makes like desserts etc.? I think he made his own chocolate and he made LWJ a cup of hot chocolate (with marshmallows maybe?) because LWJ didn't have it in his childhood or something? Like basically WWX making food/desserts and LWJ has to try them and I think they get together at the end? If you or anyone else could help me with this I would be very glad!! ❤
FOUND! @airmidcelt thinks it could be i swim in hollow lakes carved from memories by spookykingdomstarlight (T, 154k, wangxian, xiyao) - ‘WWX bakes in it and there's a scene in Chapter 15 where he makes hot chocolate for LWJ who hasn't had it since he was a child ‘
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15.  I just love your blog!! 💜💜 Can you please find that fic where Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are detectives who have a bet about who catches more perps and solves cases. If Wei Wuxian wins, Lan Wangji has to go on a date with him. The story almost follows what happened in the Brooklyn 99 episode. ~ @astarshine
FOUND! by @zensucht:  99th precinct by bichen (T, 4k, wangxian)
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16.  Hi there! The work you do is amazing and wonderful and I would be so grateful for some help! I’m at my wits’ end trying to find a fic I read a while ago. It may be deleted, I’m not sure, but the gist of it is that WWX is traveling post-canon and ends up accidentally sort-of-summoning ghosts whose purpose is to keep him company because he’s so lonely. The juniors are there to investigate the haunting and they’re upset that he didn’t come to any of them for help but he thinks no one wants him around, and LSZ ends up calling LWJ in for reinforcements. I loved it so much but I can’t find it anywhere, I’ve spent so many hours scrolling through AO3 😭 any help in the right direction would be so appreciated! ❤️ @eleanorfenyx
FOUND! @fairfax-verde thinks it’s the dock of the bay by Haysel (T, 22k, wangxian)
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17.  Hello! This blog is just my Holy Grail for WangXian fics and I am so glad this exists.  [Aw, bb, you’re too kind!]  I am looking for a fic where Wei Wuxian was kicked out of his home and Lan Wangji allows him to stay at his place. It was a modern au which involved WWX paying off Jiang Cheng's debts and the Wens abused him because he failed to pay rest of the debt. Look at me ranting. I hope you can find that fic and thank you anyways!
FOUND!  ❤️the best of you by sysrae (E, 42k, wangxian, my post)
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18.  I'm looking for a fic, could you help me? It's kind of like a time travel au but lwj accidentally kills wwx at never night (cql universe i believe) and both of them go back in time, wwx thinks lwj actually hates him but lwj wants to clear it up, wwx also purges the waterborne abyss with like a jade stone? like he puts it into the stone? It's a 50K oneshot I believe?
FOUND!  by @huans who says ‘it's a silver pouch and not a jade and 37K long’ (@tjwock agrees):  Regrets by antebunny (G, 38k, wantxian)
239 notes · View notes
hurting-fictional-people · 6 months ago
Text
Okay guys, so I think I’m getting attached to these characters and might have more ideas for them... so please let me know if you’d be interested in seeing more?
CW: (putting them here because tumblr decided to be weird about my tags tonight) a whole lot of angst and betrayal, stabbed whumpee (recovering from it... kinda), collar and chains, IV mention. Please tell me if I missed something
Continued from here
tagging @thelazywitchphotographer and @swift-perseides
-
“You said you’d set Whumpee free if I gave you the information,” someone hisses somewhere above them.
The timbre of that voice is a familiar caress, soothing the uneasiness that threatened to take over as soon as consciousness approached. Still, there’s a sharp edge to it that propels Whumpee’s eyes to flutter open, even as it calms the fear.
“Can you prove it?” 
That’s the sound that truly awakens them. The sound they hoped never to hear again, that sends chills down their spine and makes them squint their eyes against the dim light and groggily look around.
“Can I p– you know you said it, Whumper. Stop fucking around,” Caretaker growls. “If you don’t want to let me go, then fine. Keep me here. Torture me if you will. But leave them alone.”
“Ah, to be young and in love,” Whumper sighs.
Someone towers over Whumpee, large shoulders they know better than their own stand by their bed, restraining their line of sight to the wall to their right and the one in front of their bed.
“I gave you what you wanted. Now let them go.”
Before they can think about it, before they can even truly remember where they are or why or with whom, their hand reaches out and touches the soft skin of Caretaker’s arm, making them stiffen and turn around with a furrowed brow over softening eyes.
“You’re awake.”
It’s the worry underneath the words that brings it all back. The betrayal months before, all the hurt and bitterness, and then those last hours – minutes? – with a hole in their abdomen silently draining their life away, suffocating in pain.
They pull their hand back.
“What happened?” Whumpee rasps out, only then noticing how dry their throat feels. 
They know what happened. Every second of it is etched on their mind forever, but the question still slips out, the need for reassurance bigger than anything else.
“I got you fixed,” Caretaker gives them a sad smile, “just like I promised I would.” 
“Actually, I got you fixed,” Whumper says, walking around Caretaker to stop in front of Whumpee’s bed. “You’re welcome.”
Whumpee’s eyes dart between the two of them, narrowing at the way Whumper’s gaze shines with something dark while Caretaker holds themself statue still. 
“How are you feeling, dear?” Whumper asks.
“Like I’ve been stabbed,” they grumble, frowning when Whumper chuckles. “Why am I not dead?” 
“Poor thing, you were really out of it, weren’t you?” Whumper smiles as they hold Whumpee’s ankle through the sheets and rub circles that would’ve been calming coming from anyone else. “Caretaker took the deal in the end. Almost too late, but my doctors are pretty good, so you should heal just fine. If given proper time, that is.”
“So, what now?” they ask, half wanting to just close their eyes and pretend to still be asleep. Their throat pleads for water, but they don’t want to ask either of them, so they just swallow saliva and pretend it helps.
“Well, that’s a question for Caretaker to answer,” Whumper says, turning toward the third person in the room, the one keeping disturbingly silent, arms crossed and jaw clenched. Probably regretting saving them in the first place.
But Caretaker doesn’t say anything. All they do is glare at Whumper from their spot beside Whumpee’s bed.
“What do you mean?” Whumpee asks after a few seconds, stifling a yawn, eyelids pleading to close.
“They mean that they have no word,” Caretaker snaps. “Whumper wants to make another bargain even though they never fulfilled the first one.”
“Fine. But why am I here?” Whumpee whispers, forcing their eyes to stay open long enough to hear the answer.
“Because you’re the bargaining chip, lovely,” Whumper smirks, squeezing Whumpee’s ankle until they gasp.
Whumpee’s heart drops to the floor, and then lower. 
Caretaker has saved them once, which was a miracle in itself. Expecting them to do it twice is just too much. 
“Can we discuss this later, since you don’t seem inclined to negotiate right now?” Caretaker nods toward the door. “Whumpee needs to rest.”
“I guess they will be needing their strength very soon if you don’t change your mind,” Whumper sighs, winking at Whumpee as they walk to the door. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone for now.”
The lock clicks behind them, but neither Caretaker nor Whumpee acknowledges it. They’re too busy staring at each other to do much else. 
Deep bags mar the skin under Caretaker’s eyes, just like it always happens when they don’t get enough sleep, and Whumpee hates themself for still remembering that.
“Why did you–“ save me, Whumpee tries to say, but their voice fails when a dry cough makes their chest heave and their wound hurt. 
Caretaker is immediately leaning close, one hand splayed on their back and the other on their tight, each touch raising goosebumps along their skin. “W-water,” they rasp, closing their eyes at the humiliation.
But Caretaker doesn’t seem to notice how defeated Whumpee’s eyes are, how their cheeks burn red for having to ask them for something so simple. They simply grab a plastic water bottle from the bedside table and hand it to Whumpee. They gulp down the entire thing.
“How are you feeling?” Caretaker asks once they sag back on the mattress.
“Like shit.”
It’s true, but the irritated tone is nothing but a defense mechanism, and they fear as much as they hope that Caretaker notices it. 
The pain is a constant weight in Whumpee’s stomach, and the medication slowly dripping into their veins through an IV makes them nauseous and sleepy, but none of it makes Whumpee any less confused or sad whenever they look at Caretaker.
Why did Caretaker save them? A blurry memory tickles their brain, of sobs that didn’t come from their lips, of trembling hands holding theirs, warm lips kissing their forehead when they couldn’t convince their eyes to stay open anymore. It dissolves before they can grasp it, leaving only an empty feeling behind.
“You should sleep,” Caretaker says when the silence grows uncomfortable.
“Are you regretting saving me already?” Whumpee whispers, averting their gaze.
“What? No.” It sounds so real they almost believe it. They want to, so badly, but they’d already made the mistake of trusting Caretaker once before. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
There’s a hurt edge to their voice that makes Whumpee’s eyebrows rise as they look Caretaker straight in the eye. “Tell you what?”
“What Whumper did. That you were bleeding out.”
Oh.
“You could’ve died, Whumpee. You almost did. If you had just told me they had stabbed you, it would never have gotten to that point.”
“Why do you sound so angry? You’re the one who taught me not to trust anyone. ‘I’m sorry I hurt you but I’d do it again’, remember? You are the one who said those words. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t think it would matter.”
Caretaker furrows their brows, opens their mouth, and turns around. Before they do, though, Whumpee catches the flash of pain and sadness crossing their eyes and pretends not to notice the glint of tears there.
The seconds tick by, and as the silence extends, pain and exertion make Whumpee’s eyes take longer and longer to open each time they blink. They are almost asleep when Caretaker’s voice sounds again.
“It’s not true, you know. It would’ve mattered. It’ll always matter when it comes to you.”
But Whumpee is already dreaming once they stop talking.
-
“So, have you made your choice?” Whumper asks from behind a ridiculously large desk. Caretaker folds their arms and doesn’t fight the will to bare their teeth. “We’ve talked through it already, Caretaker. It won’t even be any sort of bother, you just have to go in, pretend I let you free, and come back with the drive I gave you.”
“You and I both know it’s not that simple. You want me to infiltrate my own team, lie to their faces, and hand our biggest enemy a drive filled with classified information,” they bite back, hands curling into fists.
“Well, you can always say no,” Whumper leans back in their chair and grins. “You know I’ll even let you walk out if you do. And then I’ll have a pretty little pet to play with. The only downside is that dear Whumpee won’t last very long as my plaything with that wound of theirs.”
The words might as well be a blade sinking into their heart. And Whumper knows it, relishes the knowledge, laughing when Caretaker holds their breath.
It’s been three days since Whumpee’s woken up. Three days of poorly hiding the desperate need to be by their side, to make sure nothing would ever hurt them again. Three days of knowing that each small noise of pain Whumpee lets out, each hazy look they get whenever Caretaker says something kind or offers help, each distrustful glance, it’s all Caretaker’s fault.
Whumper doesn’t even bother hiding how much pleasure they take from locking Caretaker up until they can’t help but bang on the door and beg to see Whumpee. And when they do, it’s only to be hit by a new wave of pain breaking against their heart, flooding their veins with sorrow every time their eyes meet. 
“Don’t fucking touch them,” Caretaker spits out, taking a step forward before they can stop themself.
“Is that a ‘yes Whumper, I agree with your terms’ I’m hearing, dear?”
“How can I trust you won’t hurt them while I’m gone?”
Whumper’s lips tug upwards, growing into a mocking, open smile. “You can’t. And I won’t even bother promising I won’t. So if I were you, I’d hurry up, because each second you try to stall me makes me even more excited to play with little Whumpee, and I don’t think they’ll appreciate my games as much as I will.”
It’s almost funny how a handful of words is capable of completely shattering someone’s heart, of stealing the ground from under their feet and filling them with dread all at once. 
“Don’t you dare touch them,” Caretaker says, but it’s scared and quivery and both of them notice. “How the fuck do you expect me to leave with you saying you’ll hurt Whumpee?”
“Do they know how much you care about them?” Whumper muses, getting up and sauntering around the table. “Because I remember rather clearly Whumpee telling me you’d sooner offer them ruin than help.”
“What do you care?” they say through clenched teeth.
“It’s just intriguing how desperate you are to keep them safe and how oblivious they are of it. What did you do to make them so distrustful of you?”
Tore their heart apart with my bare hands. The answer comes to their mind unbidden, bringing a sharp twist of pain along with it. They can still see Whumpee’s shocked face, tears streaming down their cheeks, eyes desperately searching theirs for an excuse that wasn’t there for a treason they had no way to deny, no matter how much they wished to. I’m sorry I hurt you, but I did it for the greater good, and I’d do it again, Caretaker had said with all the pride and coldness a soldier could master. 
They had kept their own tears for later, when no one could see them shatter.
“Is your life so miserable you have to feed off of someone else’s or are you just a nosy bastard?”
Whumper laughs, and they wish they could punch that laugh out of that smug face. “I’ll give you the details now and you’ll leave tomorrow. And just because of the insult you won’t get to say goodbye to Whumpee.”
Caretaker glares in response but doesn’t argue. They don’t deserve to be near Whumpee, not after everything, and are pretty sure Whumpee wouldn’t want it either. Besides, the simple thought of seeing the face they love so fiercely fill with suspicion each time Caretaker opens their mouth makes them want to weep. 
Still, as long as they are alive to do so, Caretaker will gladly take the suspicion and anything else Whumpee throws at them. They deserve far worse anyway.
-
Each breath Whumpee takes hurts, and they are about to start crying out of frustration when the door opens. They don’t dare recognize the sharp tug of disappointment in their heart when the face that appears isn’t Caretaker’s.
“Good morning, love, how’s that wound?”, Whumper asks.
“Fine.” There’s an air of amusement around them that makes Whumpee shiver, even if they don’t know exactly why. “Where’s Caretaker?”
It leaves their lips before it hits their brain, and Whumpee has to bite their tongue to avoid slapping their forehead for it. Stupid. Caretaker shouldn’t mean anything to them anymore.
“Oh, dear. You still care about them, don’t you?”
Whumpee doesn’t even open their mouth, not when the answer they can voice would be a blatant lie and they’d both know it.
“It’s really unfortunate to have feelings for someone who doesn’t reciprocate them, isn’t it?” Whumper says, drinking in the slight frown between Whumpee’s brows, the way they look away to hide how much the words hurt them. 
Before the wave of bitterness can crash over Whumpee, Whumper nods to someone outside the room and two guards step inside. 
Their heart starts to pound, thrumming louder at each step the men take toward them.
“What, what’s going on?”
“We’re going somewhere else today, love. I assumed you needed the help to walk.”
They are shaking their head before Whumper even finishes the sentence. With a smile stretching across their face, they raise their brows, as if inviting Whumpee to do it themself.
They know what’s going to happen even before it does, and by the glee on Whumper’s face they do too, but Whumpee still kicks the thin blanket away and gets up on wobbly legs before taking two steps forward. On the third, the pain becomes unbearable. On the fourth, they can’t help but hold their injury and hunch their shoulders. Whumper watches them with mock concern as Whumpee stumbles out of the room. When they finally fall to their knees two steps later, Whumper simply tuts from their spot against the door.
“I guess you did need the help, huh?” they say, and Whumpee catches only a glance of their smile as they wave for the guards. 
Two pairs of hands grab Whumpee’s arms and pull them up, and they can’t hold back a scream when it makes their entire abdomen explode in pain. 
They are hauled over countless hallways, into a room made of concrete walls and nothing more, barely big enough for all of them.
“Please,” they breathe. “What are you doing? What about your deal with Caretaker?”
“Caretaker left, Whumpee.”
It’s the softness in their voice that makes Whumpee’s head turn to them, all wide eyes and parted lips. 
“The bargain we told you about was for them to either betray their team and keep you safe or go away and leave you behind. They made their choice.”
Whumpee can only stare at Whumper’s sympathetic smile. The words take a while to truly sink in, and when they do, all Whumpee does is take a deep breath. 
They’d been expecting this all along, they tell themself. They knew they couldn’t trust Caretaker, knew they’d never come first. They know it, they do. But then why does it hurt so much?
“And you see, Caretaker’s leaving made me kind of mad,” Whumper says as Whumpee is dumped on the cell’s cold floor, falling on all fours. “Betrayals make me bloodthirsty, I’m sure you’ll understand. And since you’re mine now, how can I resist it?”
Whumpee’s mouth dries at that. Terror shoots through their veins at the same time sadness tightens their heart.
The two men who’d carried them there take a step forward at the words and grab chains from a hook behind the door they hadn’t noticed before. As the chains are hung on metal loops attached to the wall, Whumpee realizes how wrong they’d been. The cell walls aren’t completely barren after all.
And when the guards crouch down in front of them, Whumpee can barely find strength through the panic and the pain radiating from their stomach to fight. 
They do, though. Even when it burns and sends waves of dizziness down their body, Whumpee thrashes in hands that don’t budge, jerks against grips that only tighten. 
But none of it matters when metal cuffs lock around both their wrists, nor when the chain is shortened until their arms are pulled straight above their head, back touching the wall. At least they are still sitting. Not that they could get up if they wanted to.
“Whumper, pl–“
But it isn’t over yet, they realize when another shiny gray circle approaches. Whumpee lets out a choked whine, but it’s all they can do before the collar closes around their throat and locks their neck to the wall as well. An uninvited sob escapes their lips, and there’s nothing they can do to stop it either.
“You look beautiful in chains, love,” Whumper says from the door, grinning with sadistic satisfaction at Whumpee’s weakness.
Humiliation tinges their cheeks red when Whumper’s gaze travels up and down their body. Chained, collared, like a dog, unable to do more than wiggle their arms and weakly kick their legs.
“Why are you doing this?” Whumpee asks, voice airy and desperate, searching for an explanation they know isn’t there.
“Because I wanted to. Because it brings me joy to see you struggle. I wouldn’t keep thrashing like that, though, you’ll wear yourself out very quickly with that unfortunate wound of yours, and we don’t want this to end too soon, do we?”
They leave the cell with a giggle and a wave of goodbye, and when the door doesn’t lock behind them, Whumpee almost chokes on a bitter laugh.
The cell is big enough for them to lie down straight if the chains weren’t keeping them tightly tied to the wall. But as time goes by, it seems to get smaller and smaller, closing in on them with each ragged breath Whumpee takes. The chains clink together as they squirm, but there’s no give. Their wound hurts through it all, burning with each movement, but stopping feels like giving up and if they do, then what? 
No one knows where they are but Caretaker and they’ve already made it clear they won’t help. They’ve already given up on Whumpee, left them once again.
No one cares. There is no saving this time. 
Whumpee chokes on rage and grief as tears stream down their cheeks, for a love that should never have been born, for the heart that has been broken in so many pieces they don’t know how it can still find strength enough to keep beating in their chest.
Whumpee stares at the gray walls and feels a scream building, and there’s no one there to stop it from bursting out, containing all of their anger and sadness and betrayal and spilling it over to the world. But even though it’s left their chest, the cry keeps echoing, bouncing around the walls, and none of the feelings are gone. They are all still there, still boiling inside of Whumpee.
So Whumpee sobs and pulls at the chains until their wrists are raw and bleeding, and don’t stop until both their strength and their voice are gone and there’s nothing else to do but sag on the chains. 
-
Caretaker is in the elevator when the phone Whumper’s given them buzzes. Seven floors to go before they have to face their team. A few seconds before they have to betray the people who are nothing less than their family.
Even so, it’s not that thought that sends a shiver down their spine. 
No one but Whumper has that number. The phone was given to them with specific instructions to be used solely to communicate with them. It’s Whumpee’s wide eyes that shine in their mind when Caretaker unlocks the phone, and it’s the memory of their smile that makes Caretaker’s heart race as they stare at the text and the video attached to it.
Got bored. You better hurry up.
Their hand trembles as they click on the video and Whumpee’s thin figure fills the screen, arms chained above their head, legs loose on the ground in front of them. Their eyes are closed, and for an instant, Caretaker’s heart stops in fear. But then Whumpee’s head starts to loll forward before being violently pulled back, and at the same time relief makes Caretaker suck in a sharp breath, the thing shining around Whumpee’s neck makes their heart sink through the floor. 
The collar surrounds the soft skin Caretaker’s tasted more than once, marring the perfect curve of their throat. When it yanks their head back, it hits the wall behind them and their eyes snap open. Whumpee stares at the ceiling for a moment before their mouth opens in a scream Caretaker feels in their soul, even if they can’t hear it. They feel it with their whole heart, and when Whumpee starts pulling against the chains, Caretaker thinks they’ll puke.
The video ends with them panting silently through the soundless video, the glint of tears wetting their cheeks. 
And then the elevator stops, and Caretaker barely has two seconds to wipe away their own tears before the doors open. 
When their teammates run toward them, none of them sees the way their eyes shine for the dread it is. 
As they smile and let lie after lie slip through their teeth, the only thing resounding in their mind is Whumpee’s silent screams. And as they deceive and betray, no one seems to notice the way their hands tremble or how they can’t convince their lips to smile no matter how happy they should’ve been to be back with the team. Not when the ten seconds keep playing over and over again inside their mind.
(next)
168 notes · View notes
221bshrlocked · 7 months ago
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iv. Quiet Whispers
Sanctified/\Desecrated Masterlist
Pairing: The Mandalorian (Din Djarin) x Fem!Reader (A/B/O Dynamics)
Words: 2829
Warnings: One or two swear words. Really really inappropriate touching. A hint of angst. Just a hint. But don’t worry about it.
A/N: Right ok so the next chapter is going to explain lots of things about our lovely idiots. And I will reveal some more shutff about A/B/O in this world. As always, please let me know how I’m doing in the comments. And comment on the masterlist post if you want to be tagged. Masterlist post. It’s easier to track. Enjoy my lovely friends.
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You assumed that he would be a little more at ease around you now that there was some form of an unspoken agreement between the two of you. But he was as quiet as ever the following morning, if not more, and the silence grew even after you left Nevarro. You wondered why he never told you where you were heading next but you thought better than to ask him. Maybe he didn’t completely trust you yet. You couldn’t blame him if you were being honest. From the brief chats you overheard between him and his ‘friends,’ you could tell that there was still some awkwardness around them. 
As much as you wished to know what transpired before your time on the Razor Crest, you knew it wasn’t your place. It’s not like you were his Omega or anything.
Maker, how much you wished to be though. 
By the end of the second day, you were fed up with the silent treatment and decided to confront him. Knowing how out of control the two of you became whenever you were in close proximity, you decided to take your suprrsenets right before you approached him, hoping that the medication would sheath over your scent if only for the few minutes you would speak with him. 
Unfortunately for you, it took you much longer to put the child to sleep and you hated the Alpha’s sixth-sense because just as you put the child to sleep, a large presence appeared behind you and leaned down to check on the kid. You hated these mood-swings he continued to move through around you. One minute, he was pushing you beneath him and almost making you beg for his lips, and the next thing you know, he’s pretending as if you weren’t even aboard the ship, let alone tweaking it for him while also caring for the green goblin that has been more irritated with everything recently. 
You took in shallow, quick breaths to avoid smelling him. As soon as you shut the pod on the child, you moved away from the imposing Alpha, walking a few steps to the side to make sure that there was enough space between the two of you. 
But like all the other times where there should have been a semi-normal conversation between the two of you, Mando put a stop to whatever you were going to say. You only had the clenched fists to gauge his reaction as he approached you. Gulping nervously, you attempted to stand your ground as he stood not a foot from you and filled your view with the hard and cold beskar of his chest. 
“You- smell different.” 
Had it been any other Alpha, you were sure you would have grabbed the nearest object and smacked him on his head. But this was Mando, and he was finally not ignoring you. It felt like the two of you were dancing around each other, except it was three steps forward and five steps back. 
“I- that’s none of your concern.” You tried to respond with confidence but it barely came out as a whisper and you knew almost immediately it was the wrong choice of words. 
Mando growled. Actually growled at you right before covering your eyes with one of his hands again. You ceased to breathe as your brain registered what he was about to do. The soft hiss of his helmet unlocking made you shake in your place and you waited with bated breath for him to do something, anything. 
It came in the form of an aggressive lick to your scent gland. But unlike last time, when he stopped at the sound of your moans, Mando didn’t pull away, instead continuing to mark your skin with his saliva until your knees buckled and he had to wrap one arm around your waist. He kept you against him for a moment before he realized that one hand around you wasn’t enough. Not bothering to be gentle, Mando twirled you around and pushed your chest into the wall, barely acknowledging the helmet falling to the ground as he swiftly took both gloves off and combed one hand into your hair to twist your head to the side. 
“Keep your eyes closed Omega, or else you won’t like what I’ll do to you.” The angry, almost desperate whisper shook you to your core and you nodded as much as you could before completely loosening your muscles to allow him to control you. 
You expected him to continue licking at your gland, perhaps kiss and nudge at it until he could smell you again. But the unhinged Alpha had a different plan in mind. Without so much as a warning, he began to suck on the skin just below your ear and you didn’t realize that there was an almost viscous liquid oozing from your gland until you felt it dripping down your shirt the more his lips assaulted your neck. You begged and pleaded for him, not sure of what you were asking. 
And then you felt his other arm wrap around your navel and you swore you could see stars. 
“A-alpha, please...I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean t-”
“Shh, just feel me. Feel me cyar'ika. Be good for your-” It was a slip of the tongue and he tightened the grip he had around your smaller form to prevent himself from saying what he really wished to admit. The more you squirmed in his arms, the more aggressive he became and he turned your head as far to the side as he could without hurting you to try and get more access to your neck. You kept your eyes shut the entire time, and after a few moments of harsh licks and violent kisses, you dared to hold onto the arm across your navel with one hand and reach back for his hair with the other. You were met with soft, short hair and you wished more than anything to see it but you knew you couldn’t betray his trust. Not when he was finally letting go and giving into what the two of you needed. 
“I couldn’t smell you...couldn’t- fuck, couldn’t recognize your scent. Or mine. You’ve been driving me mad sweet girl...your scent is- it’s intoxicating Omega. Sweeter than anything I’ve ever smelled. And I can’t fucking get enough of it. Sweet, perfect Omega. ” You cried in his arms, torn between getting on all fours and presenting for him so he could breed you, and telling him to slow down so you could ask him what it was he wanted from you. 
The needier his touches became, the more you felt like you were losing yourself to this private, kind yet intimidating Alpha.
“Please Alpha, I need- to...oh maker, you feel so- so good, so nice...safe.” 
You weren’t sure what it was that suddenly broke the intimate moment and you fell to the ground as soon as he let go of you and stepped away. Mando grabbed his helmet and haphazardly placed it on his head before pulling every ounce of control in his system together as he looked at you. 
“Fuck.” He continued to lap at his lips like an animal, afraid he’d waste one drop of your addicting nectar. 
You were whimpering against the cold metal of the wall, hand hovering over your scent gland but not quite touching it. It was much more inflamed than before and he cursed himself for abusing it this much. He could tell it was probably throbbing and stinging you but he couldn’t deny the pride that filled his chest at seeing how wrecked you were. And then his eyes trailed down your form and he noticed the growing wetness between your thighs and he realized that he may have taken things a bit farther than he intended. 
“Omega, I’m- I’m sorry ad’ika, I didn’t mean to-”
“A-alpha...did I do something wrong? Was I- am I not pleasing to you? Is it because...because I-” It broke him to see you so vulnerable in front of him, and he felt disgusted with himself for finding your teary-eyes and flushed face the most ravishing sight in the world. Leaning down slowly, he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you up, slowly making his way to your cot and laying you down carefully. You grabbed onto his hand and looked into the visor, silently begging him to not leave you. 
“Omega, sweet Omega.” The three words were enough to make you let go of him and he somehow managed to sit next to you in the small space as he continued to talk to you.
“I promised you I would take care of you, and that means even from me. I- I don’t know what came over me cyare. It must have been-”
“The suppressants.” You cut him off and shut your eyes for a few seconds before you dared to attempt and meet his gaze through the dark visor. 
“What?” It was a mixture of shock and a hint of anger, and the Mandalorian noticed how intimidating the response must have been because you shrunk away from him. He intertwined his hand with yours and squeezed it to let you know he was listening. 
“I...I took my suppressants before you came in because- well, I wanted to talk with you and I thought to prepare so we wouldn’t...wouldn’t get distracted. I didn’t know that it would anger you Alpha, please, I’m sorry.” The last few words were spoken through tears and Mando felt horrible for making you think that this was all your fault when it was actually his and his lack of self-control. 
“No, no sweet girl you didn’t anger me. It just- I didn’t expect it. And I couldn’t scent you and it, it didn’t feel right. I...I stepped out of line again. I shouldn’t have-” He was rambling and you found it endearing how he was growing shy again when not a minute ago, he was close to mating with you. 
“I liked it.” 
The short yet straightforward confession instantly marked a shift in the air and the Mandalorian sighed deeply when he finally registered what you just said to him. 
“I did too.” 
You gasped at his admission, never expecting for someone like him to ever be so forthright with something this intimate. And you were about to thank him for being honest with you when you felt something wet trickle down your neck. Reaching up, your fingers were just close to touching your gland when Mando reached out and stopped them.
“Cyar'ika...can I- would it be okay if, maker...can I wipe it with my cowl? I need you to be close to me but I can’t...I can’t do this. N-not yet. Omega please...please, can I take your scent with me?” Hearing an Alpha such as Mando beg to wipe the scent leaking out of your gland was not something you ever realized you wanted to be at the receiving end of. But you were. And he was here, in your space, asking you to take something of yours just as he gave you something of his. 
Reaching down to the corner of his cowl, you kept your gaze on the T of his visor as you trailed the fabric across your neck. It burned and you knew you were crying and shaking with every pass of the material over your sensitive skin. But you didn’t care because Mando was finally admitting how he felt towards you and it only took the two of you a couple of weeks to acknowledge that there was something going on between the two of you. 
“You- you can have whatever you want Mando…” The silent statement almost broke him into a million stars but he bit into his lower lip to prevent himself from flipping you over and shoving his cock deep into what he could already smell was a sweet cunt. He wanted nothing more than to bite every fucking gland on your body and mark you up so not even betas would dare look at you. The image of him knotting your pussy over and over again drove him over the edge and he apologized before abruptly standing up and taking a few steps back. 
“I- forgive me sweet girl. It’s not that I don’t want you...it’s that I can’t- can’t...dank farrik. I need to keep you safe.” His words were jumbled and broken, and made no sense. But you understood what he was trying to tell you and nodded against your will. You wished he could shut the lights off and slip beneath your covers and have his way with you. But you got the sense that what he admitted and what the two of you just did was probably too much for him, someone who hasn’t kissed, let alone touched another human for decades. 
“Sweet dreams...sweet Omega.” Mando spoke softly before he left the semi-private room, leaving you a wet, shaking and needy mess. 
You cursed into the pillow, trying to not show any signs of distress. He was unhinged, in his touches and in his sudden withdrawal. You weren’t sure if you wanted to smack him across the helmet with a log or pull him down and kiss every inch of him.
Hours later, you awoke and moved quickly to the refresher, hoping to look semi-presentable before you ran into him again. But the longer you stayed underneath the water, the more your doubts ran away with you. What if he changed his mind? What if he was just reacting to you because you were in close proximity with each other? What if...what if he regretted admitting to you how much he enjoyed marking you?
You walked out and almost tripped when you saw the child waiting for you at the food of the door. 
“Hey sweetheart, did you sleep well?” You leaned down and picked him up, smiling when his little paws went to your necklace and began playing with it again. 
“Maybe I should make you one…” So busy playing with him, you didn’t notice the large presence standing in front of you until you ran right into him. 
“M-mando.”
“Did you sleep well cyar'ika?” The question caught you off guard and you nodded before smiling at him. 
“That’s good. We’re going to be landing soon so grab some snacks for him and come up to the cockpit.”
“The cockpit? I- I thought that I wasn’t supposed to go there.” You were surprised by the sentiment and hoped he wouldn’t give you another vague response again.
“I changed my mind and I want you there. Unless- unless you don’t want to...I, the kid will be with us. I promise not to- try anything. You’re not...afraid of me are you?” The word vomit was a lot to take in and you swore you got whiplash from how many little admissions resided in between the words. 
He wanted you there. He was afraid you didn’t want to be with him in a small area. And he thought you were afraid of him. 
Maker. How was he an Alpha? 
“No no, Mando. I...I just didn’t want you to think that you need to change your rules because of, you know. I don’t want to be overbearing. Of course I’d love to sit with you, e-even without the kid. I- I promise I’m not afraid of you. And I meant what I said yesterday. It’s fine if you...if we,” the sentiment was unspoken but you knew the Alpha in front of you caught onto what you were trying to tell him because he leaned forward and touched his visor against your forehead. 
You can have whatever you want.
“Thank you Omega.” 
“Y-you’re welcome...Alpha.” 
Once again, the kid had perfect timing, reaching up with his nails and wiggling them around as he cooed nonsensical noises. 
“Come on.” Mando went up to the cockpit and you took a few seconds to calm down before grabbing the blue biscuits from your bag. When you walked into the cockpit, you looked around quickly to take in your surroundings before setting the kid on one of the chairs and buckling him in. Knowing better than to touch anything, you walked to the other chair and clicked the belt around your lap before quietly allowing your eyes to watch Mando as he piloted the Razor Crest. 
You were about to ask him if he needed anything from you when you noticed the planet you were currently descending to. 
Your heart ceased to beat when you realized where you are. 
And all your doubts came crashing in when you understood what the Mandalorian was about to do. 
He was taking you back to Peli. He didn’t want you anymore. He was...he was going to leave you. 
Your Alpha was going to leave you. 
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wrathandgreed · 11 months ago
Note
(I hope requests are still open) So ive been thinking. How about the brothers reaction to MC taking a large step away from them when ever one of them raises their hand up. It could be as simple as a high five. MC used to be in a abusive relationship and is paranoid about getting hit
Note: (For the record, I don’t know if you sent me this on purpose - I’ve never done requests; I’ve literally just put out my very first OM headcanons. But I figured I could try. I’ve never been in an abusive relationship, but a number of my friends have. I really hope I can do this one respect - if anything about this is not on the level, please let me know! Also, if I missed a trigger warning in the tags, or tagged this wrong, let me know. Also, for the record, I tend to like soft!Brothers and I really wanted them to try and be better - not put the onus on MC to “get over it” or anything.)
Second note: After writing this, I’m not sure that most of these guys would be a good choice for an abuse survivor! 
Third note: I am NOT good at keeping things short and, as usual, I went overboard with Asmodeus. Like, it should be its own fic at this point. But write what you want to read, right?
Warnings: references to domestic abuse, both physical and verbal. References to suicide baiting. Uncensored swearing.
~5K words
Lucifer
A strange choice; his perfectionism and exacting behavior sometimes make you remember how it was back in the human world; everything had to be JUST SO….or else.
And he’s threatened to kill you. Twice.
But there’s something inherently decent about him - and you live for the rare moments he laughs.
His perfectionism usually isn’t even about you, so you just kind of….ignore it.
You’re doing some of your RAD homework in Lucifer’s study.
It’s quiet there.
And, while he won’t do the work for you, he’ll definitely help when you’re stuck.
Also you can give him tea and soothing when he (inevitably)  gets upset at his paperwork - Mammon’s bills, Asmo’s bills, Satan’s bills (hey, dark magic books are expensive).
You start hearing the shifting and muttering that herald the beginning of the rant.
You gather the tea and walk towards his desk.
“Devil’s sake!” Lucifer suddenly snaps out, slamming hand on his desk as he reads yet another ridiculous piece of paper.
It’s not at you, the anger isn’t at you, you KNOW it’s not at you, but you freeze anyway.
Slammed hands on desks, punched holes in walls, hands on you, always hands - 
The cup of tea hits the floor and you’re out of the room before Lucifer can even look up.
He’s seen it all in your paperwork - the police reports, the restraining order, the lists of injuries - so he puts it all together before his study door closes behind you.
He knows better than to go after you immediately. You’ll want some solitude, some quiet on your own, to steady yourself a little.
If he goes after you now, it might frighten you more. Looks like hunting.
You need to know he’s calm, that he’s not acting or reacting out of emotion.
He takes his time cleaning up the spilled tea, straightening his papers.
When he shows up at your room, he has a mug of hot chocolate.
“I’m sorry,” you blurt out before he can say anything. You made a mess in his study, and he’s such a stickler for everything being neat. He was angry before, but he’ll be even more angry now.
“No, I’m sorry,” he returns, and offers you the chocolate.
(You blink once. Has the Avatar of Pride ever apologized before? If so, it was never in your hearing.)
The two of you talk quietly for a time. He insists that you don’t need to apologize - ever. He insists that, while he appreciates the tea-and-break routine, it’s 100% not your responsibility to control his anger. It’s his. He says that his anger isn’t good for him anyway (just look at Satan) and he needs to take a break when that hot feeling starts. 
Maybe he should start scheduling breaks; setting timers on his D.D.D. so that he no longer works long enough at once to let it all get to him.
He doesn’t want you afraid of him.
Mammon
Mammon is pretty much the only demon who HASN’T threatened your life. He often sounds irritated, but he’s never even sounded angry at you.
If anything, he’s a mush and an abuse victim himself. So he gets where you’re coming from, and tries really hard.
So you shouldn’t be afraid of him.
But….he moves too quickly. He’s constantly jumping from one idea to another, one topic to another, one emotion to another. And that’s just emotionally.
You can’t trust where his hands will be. Ever. And that’s not a sex thing.
Sometimes, his protection of you makes you feel safe. If anyone hurts you, Mammon will hurt them a thousand times worse.
He’s funny, and his hands on you are gentle, and once you tell him about your past, he tries really hard not to go back to his “stupid human” habit, because it hurts your feelings.
But sometimes, his protection feels like obsession. Why were you talking to that guy? C’mere, you’re MY human.
Then, inevitably, the tug on your hand or arm or waist, pulling you closer.
It starts simply enough.
You’re playing video games in his room. He’s not as much of a gamer as Levi, but he enjoys them.
Especially ones where you can be competitive or drive cars really fast.
He’s been getting more and more excited, coiled like a spring. And it’s from enjoyment, not anger, but that level of energy, in your experience, explodes at some point.
You get quieter, but that only makes him more boisterous. He wants you to join in the fun! C’mon MC, did you see that?! It was awesome!
After a really impressive win, he shouts in triumph and suddenly his hand is in front of your face for a high-five.
You recoil and hit the floor, crab-crawling backwards before you can stop yourself.
His look of complete confusion, in different circumstances, might be funny. He actually looks at his hand like he doesn’t recognize it.
He drops to the floor too, “Babe? What’s wrong? Y’okay?” And he reaches out a hand towards you.
When you flinch, he gets it.
He sits on the floor, stuttering out apologies, not even finishing one sentence before starting another. He makes sure he’s cross-legged, leaning back on his hands - non threatening, leaning away, hands not hidden, but not prominent, and in a position it would take him time to move from. 
When you start crying, he can’t maintain that pose and crawls towards you, pulling you into a hug.
If you resist, you know he’ll let you go. And that’s why you just curl into him instead, crying out on his shoulder while he holds you close - but not tightly.
“I jus’ need ya to talk to me….let me know if I’m gettin’ to be too much. I know I’m loud. Just….. jus’ remind me, I’ll never be mad.”
Leviathan
Boy already has anger problems.
Envy’s kind of prone to it, you know?
On the one hand, he literally attacked you over a piece of TSL memorabilia.
On the other, he’s generally harmless the rest of the time.
He’s meek and shy and terrified of touching you - so, 95% of the time, you feel super safe with him.
When you wake with a nightmare, when something jump-starts your fear response, he talks you through it, easily abandoning whatever game or anime he’s involved in.
He’ll only touch you when you ask, or when you reach for him first.
But then there’s the MMOs.
You know you should leave when he starts getting mad. Not in a victim-blame sense, but for your own mental health it’s probably not a good idea to be around him when he raids.
He ALWAYS gets mad.
You’re sitting in his room, so involved in your handheld that you forget it’s his raiding night.
(Usually you make study plans with Satan, or shopping plans with Asmo on his raiding nights. You don’t want him to give them up; he enjoys them, but it’s not good for you to be around.)
After finally completing a tough level, you pop your headphones off just in time to hear Levi swear loudly.
You go still as a string of swear-filled trash talk fills the room. Things you’d never expect shy, needy Levi to say. 
You know it really is just trash-talk - the threats of violence are just too absurd. Rip off their arms and use their own fingers to bowl their skull like a bowling ball? Really?
Also this is LEVI. Levi? The demon who needed you to taunt Mammon about his credit card because he couldn’t do it himself? He might be Admiral of Hell’s Navy and all, but he’s not exactly threatening.
You get to your feet, a little shaken but ready to just walk out of the room. It’s raid night, and this is why you don’t hang out on raid nights. You’re not comfortable around other people’s anger.
You’re halfway across the room when Levi suddenly shouts in frustration and throws his controller on the floor.
And you’re out the door.
Levi just glimpses you as he’s reaching to pick up his miraculously-unshattered controller from the floor.
“Henry?” He calls out, just a second too late.
With only one moment of hesitation, he logs out of his raid and goes to follow you.
You had less than ten seconds head start, but it takes him almost twenty minutes to find you, sitting out in the garden, gazing at nothing.
“MC?” He calls quietly. He doesn’t want to sneak up on you.
A single blink, and the tiniest flash of fear - he left his game to follow you. 
Calculation: extreme concern - or extreme anger. 
Conclusion: Undetermined.
So you wait.
“Are you ok?”
Okay, so not mad. “Aren’t you raiding?” You ask, instead of answering. You’re not ok, but you’re also not in the mood to talk about it.
“I, uh, h-had a, uh, power outage?” Even he doesn’t sound convinced, and you snort. Levi only has three modes: simple, stuttering, and verbose. Thankfully he goes with simple. “You ran out. I was worried.”
You debate brushing his concern off, but he deserves better than that.
“I’m not good with anger. Even if it’s not directed at me.”
“Oh.” Levi pauses as he considers. He knows the basics of what’s happened. “I - I mean, I could, you know, NOT - “
“No,” you say quickly and lean in to kiss his cheek. “You don’t have to change anything. Do your raids, make stupid threats to stupid players. Just….warn me to leave first?”
Levi nods, but he skips the rest of his raid to stargaze with you in the garden, arms wrapped around you from behind as he points out different Devildom stars and constellations to you. You get a lecture on how Devildom stars are used in Devildom sailing. It’s actually kind of interesting.
Satan
Okay, seriously? The Avatar of Wrath? Author speaking here, I literally can’t picture a worse combination than an MC who’s still recovering from domestic abuse to date the AVATAR OF WRATH.
Like, yeah, he has good control over himself, but he also loses his temper in a moment’s notice.
He has CANONICALLY tortured people for calling him strange.
He flips out with no warning and destroys parts of the house and his brothers just let him do it because he’s too powerful to control when he rages.
I can absolutely see MC falling for the quiet intelligence, the consideration, and so forth, but witnessing one (1) single rage should be enough to tell them that this relationship won’t be good for their mental health.
Let’s not even talk about the (again, canonical) desire for domination, power play, pet play, etc, that kind of defines our boy.
I mean, I love Satan. Out of all the bros, he’s the only one I could imagine legit dating in real life.
But I’m a little ball of rage myself, and I have no problem with anger, mine or anyone else’s.
And the fandom (including me) can totally play cute and love on their “soft little angy boi” all they want, and he definitely has soft, sensitive sides, and I may actively choose to ignore the whole domination/power play/etc when I fic or headcanon because I really love soft!Satan….. but he’s not.
I can’t even make a headcanon, because I cannot picture a situation in which this is actually GOOD for MC.
Because no matter how hard he’ll try and control it, and how much his rage probably won’t be directed at them, I just keep picturing “It won’t happen again” except it will, and it’ll just wind up being flashbacks to the number of times “It won’t happen again” ended in black eyes or an ER visit back in the human world.
And MC walking on eggshells for eternity to avoid setting him off, and how is that healthy?
Asmodeus
Another decent choice for MC, at least on the surface.
King of consent over here, at least how I picture him. Especially for someone he cares about.
Always accepts “no” about literally anything. Don’t want sex? We’ll cuddle. Cuddling a little confining? Holding hands is cool. Really don’t want to be touched at all right now? Gossip and tea! 
You were coming to really care about the Avatar of Lust, and you believed what Simeon said about him - how much he desperately needed love and affection. You got it; you needed some, too. 
I mean, even if he’d been a bit of a jerk, he’d warmed up significantly since the pact, so new that it still burned on your skin, was formed.
But even Asmodeus wasn’t without faults. However much he focuses on love, he can sometimes, really be….mean.
You’re standing on a balcony in Diavolo’s castle, having escaped for a few moments.
He’d always been catty, gossipy, filled with drama, but the genuine affection and likability of him sometimes made you ignore it.
His constant mocking of Luke you could put down to the whole angel/demon conflict. 
His occasional snapping or poking at his brothers you could put down to being stuck in the same house with the same people for literal eons.
The only thing that might make up for your awful existence is if you just ended it.
The words haunt you as you stand looking up at Devildom’s endless nighttime.
How many times did you hear similar words yourself? How useless you were, how much of a burden, no way you’d survive on your own without him, and he didn’t even want you that much. Why didn’t you just go kill yourself?
Dammit, you think to yourself as Asmo steps out on to the balcony.
“Darling! Why are you out here all alone? Or are you waiting for some company?”
When he goes to put his arms around you, you just say “no.” Simply, quietly, emotionlessly.
Asmo circles around to look at you. “Something wrong, sweetness?”
You take a breath. Another. You consider swallowing it, again, don’t want to start a fight. Back down, put on a smile, ignore it.
But realize you can’t. You spent years dealing with this crap, and you’re not going to do it again.
“You’re mean, Azzy.” Your voice is quieter than you expected. You look up into the demon’s eyes. To his credit, he looks deeply confused and, as you take a step away from him, hurt. Before he can open his mouth, you continue, “How could you say that to Mammon?”
“Are you defending MAMMON?” He asks, torn between incredulity and anger.
“Right now? Yes. But also Luke, Lucifer, and everyone else you talk shit to. Or about. He’s your brother. Do you have any idea how much it hurts to hear that out of someone you love?”
Dismissively, “Oh, if it actually bothered him, he’d - “
“What? Beat you up? That’s not like him. So he takes it. And takes it, and takes it, until, because it’s all he hears, he believes it. And then why fight back? Why defend yourself, if you’re such a piece of shit? You deserve it, after all, right?”
You don’t even realize it, but you’re crying by this point. And you’re mad. All the mad you couldn’t fling at your abuser before is filling you now. You don’t even know if you’re talking about Mammon or yourself anymore. Maybe both of you.
“And even though he’s beaten down, you keep going. When he won’t respond to the usual anymore, when that doesn’t seem to hurt him, rile him up, you go worse. You told your brother, who you claim to love, to kill himself. We’re barely even friends. So what happens when I annoy you? Should I just go die now, save you the trouble of telling me to do it later?”
You step right up to him, into his personal space, almost nose to nose, and stare directly into his red-yellow eyes. “Is this who you are, Asmodeus?”
Asmo has gone from defensive; incredulous and angry, to baffled, hurt and worried in just a few minutes. But at your last, pointed question, he jerks his head back as though you slapped him. Not knowing what to say or do, he reaches for you again, but you dodge his hand and brush past him back into the castle.
You get Solomon, the only one who won’t ask questions, to switch rooms with you. (Luke is thrilled; teaching him to play gin rummy actually cheers you up a little.)
For a few weeks, you and Asmodeus pass each other in the House without speaking.  Then, one evening, there’s a knock on your door and Asmo slides into your room.
He looks….well, not awful; he could never look awful. But the glow is gone from his skin and, unless you’re mistaken, he hasn’t bothered doing his hair. He looks like he’s missed some sleep.
You look up from your homework and watch him. Silently. It’s not your job to fill the silence anymore.
More than most of them, Asmo despises being vulnerable. But it’s fix this or not, and the pact is pushing him to be on good terms. At least, he blames the pact. It’s easier than acknowledging how much the weeks of silence have worn on him. How awful it was watching you walk to class with Mammon instead of him. 
And no matter what, he values honesty in his relationships, no matter what kind of relationship. So he would be honest.
“I don’t know,” he says quietly.
Lean back in your chair, hands folded. Waiting.
“I don’t know….if that’s who I am. Maybe it is.”
“Why are you here, Asmo? What do you want?”
“I want you to stop ignoring me!”
Steady face. “I spent too many years having someone talk to me the way you spoke to your brother. The rest of it - the gossip, the side comments, the cattiness…. it’s not your best side. In fact, it’s pretty unattractive when it’s mean, but I could handle it. But I can’t handle cruelty. I don’t want to be around it anymore.”
A pause. “What is my best side then?”
Disgusted, you chuck a pen in his direction. “Fuck’s sake, Asmo. Get out.”
“No! Not, not that. If that’s my bad side, the **unattractive** part, then what’s the other half?”
You search his face, but he doesn’t seem to be fishing for compliments. If anything, he looks….lost. Confused. And you wonder if anyone’s ever said anything to him, good or bad, about who he was; not what he looked like or how he fucked. 
It’s not your responsibility to psychoanalyze a demon, you think to yourself. But you’re not someone to walk away. You wonder how it’s possible for someone to be thousands of years old, and know less about themselves than you know about yourself in just a few decades. And you have nothing to lose by being kind.
“You can be wonderfully kind, Asmo, and generous. You want to see the beauty in everyone and everything. As nasty as you can be with it, I’ll give you points for honesty. You connect with people, and the times you’re actually genuinely interested in them is….charming.”
He’s silent for a few minutes. Then he nods, as if he’s made a decision. “Okay. Tomorrow, after RAD, do you want to go for bubble tea?” At your confusion, he just smiles and continues, “It’s like skin care, isn’t it? Attractiveness requires effort, darling, until it becomes habit. If I want to be attractive inside as well as out, I’ll have to practice the good things, so they outweigh the bad. I can’t do that alone. I need a practice partner who won’t tolerate failure, right? At least until it’s habit.”
You feel your entire brain have to reboot before you can give a coherent response. 
“Tomorrow. One hour. I have papers due.” You wait until he leaves your room before you smile.
Beelzebub
Probably the best choice for this MC.
The most emotionally intelligent of his brothers.
Also the most sincerely kind and gentle.
But also, like Satan, prone to sudden outbursts and rages. They’re all food-related (or, rather, lack-of-food-related), but they’re there.
A smart MC always carries snacks while dating Beel. Phone, wallet, keys, fried bat wings.
Strangely, though, the food-induced rages don’t really bother you. It’s not anger, really, and it’s never once been directed at you. And, unlike back in the human world, there’s a concrete way to help: feed him.
Today you have a whole backpack full of snacks.
You’re with Belphie, watching one of Beel’s games at RAD.
(You’re not sure Belphie wants to be there, but you’re not allowed out alone, and Belphie decided to take you - keep you safe and support his brother. Two birds, one Belphie.)
Belphie tends to nap against your shoulder any time the ref goes to make a call, but he’s somehow always awake to clap for his brother. 
(You stand on your chair and cheer, but that’s you.)
The game is a close one; double overtime. Even Belphie is too tense to sleep towards the end.
And at the end of double overtime, Beel manages the single extra goal that results in victory.
You cheer yourself hoarse for your demon boyfriend.
The whole stadium is crazy, so you hang back and wait. Belphie hates crowds and you’re not keen on them yourself. It’s going to take awhile for Beel to make it through the crowd to you anyway.
You’re standing in the aisle, scrolling through your phone, when suddenly there’s a loud shout and arms wrap around you from behind and lift you up.
You gasp, and your scream strangles in your throat so what comes out of you is nothing more than a squeak. Your phone goes flying.
You’re frozen for a moment as panic surges. You want to fight and you’re fighting your own brain to push the panic into your limbs so you can fight for yourself.
You vaguely feel a tugging and you hear someone - Belphie? - insisting that you be put down and then your feet are on the ground but there’s no such thing as your legs and you start to fall before the same arms help you gently sit. The ground is gross, but you’ll only care about the damage to your skirt later.
Everything is fuzzy and confusing; you’re not even sure of what you’re looking at until your vision is filled with blue and violet.
You know that swirl of color. That’s a SAFE color, and you start feeling your poor brain start to work again.
You blink into your boyfriend’s blue-violet eyes; you realize he’s cupping your face with his hands and the weird underwater noises start to sound like his voice. You realize, very belatedly, that what probably happened was Beel lifting you up in a victory hug.
“M’okay,” you say, but it sounds robotic. It takes a few more seconds - you don’t know how many - for all of your senses and brain to actually begin working in sync again. You start hearing the sounds of the crowd departing the stadium, and you hear Beel continuing to say your name and trying to get you to answer questions. You almost smile; but smiling wouldn’t make any sense.
“I’m okay,” you say, and you must sound a little more convincing this time because Beel looks relieved. He shoots a few more questions at you, and you realize they’re the kinds of questions people get asked when someone thinks they have a concussion or head trauma.
Your answers satisfy him, so Beel helps you to your feet. 
“What was that?” He asks. “Low blood sugar? Are you hungry?”
You have to smile at his very-typical diagnosis. A little sugar wouldn’t hurt, though. For some reason, eating grounds you after something like this. You dig a chocolate bar out of your Backpack of Snacks (Snackpack?) and hand the rest to him.
He impatiently takes a bag of chips out of it but doesn’t open it. He looks at you expectantly and you realize he won’t eat until you do. So you take a bite of the chocolate and he looks more relieved.
“So what the fuck WAS that?” Belphie asks as the three of you move towards the exit.
“Later.” You haven’t yet found a reason to really tell Beel (and, by extension, Belphegor) about everything. You do later that night. 
Beel swears he’ll never surprise you like that again. He’s a lot more cautious about touching you for a few days, but eventually things go back to normal between you.
Belphegor
Author note: Dude fucking murdered you, deliberately, in cold blood, and taunted you for your gentleness and desire to help as you died. But let’s say you can get past that - or try to. Probably the second-worst choice, after Satan, for this reason.
You started dating Belphie for the strangest reason: you could trash-talk the shit out of him.
He kept trying to be around you after you made the pact (which, let’s face it, you made so you could MAKE SURE he never hurt you again). Until, after politely dodging him wasn’t working, you told him to take his emo-boy routine and fuck off somewhere else.
You flinched, waiting for retaliation, but he just blinked at you and told you to stop being a brat.
And he was smiling.
But it wasn’t a mean smile - it was a smile that shared the joke.
Your lips quivered into a returning smile, and you threw another insult at him.
He topped it, and hurled one back.
Before you knew it, the two of you were screaming obscenities at each other in the middle of the common room and laughing like hyenas.
For some reason, Belphie calling you a dumb bitch wasn’t an insult. It was a mark of endearment. And it didn’t hurt your feelings or make you afraid.
It was empowering to call him a dickhead if he did something you didn’t like and have him simply laugh and amend his behavior. Nothing bothered him.
He didn’t move quickly; in fact he didn’t move at all if he could help it.
But you would remember, sometimes, the way his hands felt on your throat, or how cold his eyes had been. And you couldn’t say it was a momentary madness, because he’d planned it. He’d been imprisoned because he wanted to kill humanity.
You put it out of your mind. It was something you were good at, after all.
Until the two of you sat down to watch a movie one evening. A simple plot hole sparked a discussion that wound up being….not an argument, but definitely a difference of opinion.
As usual, insults were flying fast and furious when suddenly Belphie laughed and smacked you with his pillow.
It wasn’t an angry move, and it wasn’t hard enough to hurt. It wasn’t a hard blow at all! But the surprise had you falling back on the couch. And the fear had you curling into a ball, arms wrapped around your head protectively, legs curled up to guard your middle.
There is dead silence.
“Hey, Brat?” Belphie asks. When you don’t answer, he calls your name instead.
You slowly, very slowly, begin to uncurl yourself from your position. It takes time for the residual fear to leave, but enough is gone to leave room for embarrassment. 
“Sorry,” you mutter. 
“I get it,” is the answer.
Cue awkward silence.
“I figured you were still afraid of me.”
“I’m not!” When he just stares blandly at you, you sigh. “Okay, a little. If you wanted to hurt me - again - you’ve had a ton of opportunities. So I don’t think you want to. But…..”
“It’s a hard thing to get over.”
“Yeah. And not just you.” Hesitantly, you start to tell him. You want to just give him the basics, but once you start talking, you can’t seem to stop. He doesn’t interrupt, barely seems to blink, just watches you. A blank vessel to help you empty the poison that fills you sometimes.
You see his jaw tighten as you go on, but you know the anger isn’t at you.
When you finish, he’s silent for a few moments. Then he gathers you up to him. “I’ll never hurt you,” he says.
You look up at him with the same bland look he gave you a moment ago.
“Again,” he amends. “I’ll never hurt you again.”
You let out a watery laugh and he hugs you a bit tighter.
“You’re still a brat, though.”
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