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floralkittygambler · 3 years

Text

RadioDust is the Healthiest Toxic Ship for Angel so far

@honesthazbinarchives Briefly. I’d like to go into this more in the future BUT these are the main points I said I’d do. Heh ‘stay tuned’ for why HuskerDust is toxic [haaaa funny fuckin reference n shit like Viv herself aint overdone it]. Yer dont even wanna know the lack of enthusiasm in tryna do a playful ‘cringetopia’ joke - wasnt as fun as anticipated. Anyfuckinways, the shit. Before we begin, disclaimers n whatnot, no hate intended, dni if you’re a bit of a knobhead [either stan or extreme anti], an all that nonsense. I dont own the characters no shit. In this I’ll discuss how RadioDust aka SpiDEER (thats right, yer stuck w my shit humour now) is both the healthiest ship for Angel we’ve seen so far but still rather toxic. Idc if you hate me for it but dont fuckin waste yer time telling me. Great. I dont care. Yer fuckin hard n whatnot for harassin strangers online. Big dick energy to you. This will be slightly messy, my apologies, it’s a quick summary of many points.

Alright. Firstly, out of the entire male cast Angel interacts with over all platforms, Al is given a fair bit of mercy in terms of sexual advances. In fact, a swift ‘no’ and Angel doesn’t do it again - unlike most of the other cast [pent’s is covert, husks is overt]. One thing I like is that Angel himself admits to their chemistry (claiming that whilst he thinks Al’s a prick, he thinks Al dislikes him which saddens him as he’d at least like to be friends as he feels they have good chemistry - according to the VA via Hunicast’s 1yr anniversary), there’s no further efforts to jump on his dick but a clear curiosity/interest in what Al can do. Lets go to the basics, both are of similar age [allegedly in their 30s, though Ive heard Al may be up to mid 40s] as well as created near the same-ISH time (as in, Viv’s oldest characters, at least for HH). Likewise, Viv admitted to knowing fuck all on either of their eras (and to make that public wasn’t really a wise choice BUUUT if you felt the need, it’s better worded with interest “Right now I’m working towards educating myself more on their time periods to improve their portrayals” <-- crucial if yer want that ‘realism’). Because of their real-world ages, Viv confesses they’re her favourites (even if you didnt know, she makes it pretty clear). It could be a nice ‘homage’ to their impact in her life but not too relevant otherwise. It could fulfil the need for self indulgence that she’s unhealthily leaking into the canon - which will ultimately make the series shit. No sugarcoating there. As for their ages, a relationship can work whether the gap is large or small HOWEVER there are many ethics and conflicts to each. And being an adult into kids is always fucked up. With that being said, studies have shown that closer ages often work better due to the often similarities in mindset, maturity and life goals (older folks are more likely to want to settle, younger often have more ambitions), likewise there tends to be an unbalanced power-dynamic if the ages are too far, which can lead to various types of abuse. Dont get me wrong, being with someone much older (AS LONG AS NONE OF YALL ARE KIDS) very much CAN work - but rarely. There’s much more hardwork needed as well as being in the right mindset for both, otherwise it’s bad. More on that in HD. Long story short, both are closer in age meaning both are more ‘relatable’ to one another. There’s common grounds, even in the eras there’s some higher understanding of one another. Notice how Vaggie and Charlie are similar in age? (Even though Charlie is far older, her appearance and mentality for her race is on par with Vaggie’s, making it far more likely to work out positively) One of the most prominent out of all of this however is their actual interests. So listing; Both like action/chaos/having fun (often at the expense of others), both love cooking and can be food snobs in their own right, both have sadistic AND masochistic tendencies, Al likes performance and theatre whilst Angel loves *to* perform, on that last point Angel was very intrigued and enjoyed Al’s song number/performance naturally, both really enjoy pranks and both enjoy liquor (neither show an actual addiction, but rather an interest in social drinking - no dependencies on it). Again, close eras mean both have a higher probability of understanding the other and their lifestyles better. Both are high on appearance and love themselves, implying self confident mindset (healthy BUT the narcissism isnt) yet enough consideration for how they are viewed. On the parent system, one adores his mama whilst the other hates his pops. Now Ive gone on about how they’re similar. But similarities ALONE is not enough. If it was, then fandom’s would be a lil more harmonious~ A HEALTHY relationship needs compatibility, POSITIVE conversation flow, common grounds, trust, openness and understanding. Even then, some people click and some just dont. It’s like how you can just hate someone for no reason. It just IS. Common grounds and similarity is scientifically proven to be attractive to someone - be it good or BAD. People are drawn to those like their parents in some way usually, likewise we look for people similar to ourselves (from our interests, to humour, beliefs, goals, etc). Science itself states that ‘opposites attract’ solemnly applies in the real world successfully. Though similiarity plays a large role, there has to be some differences too - that person is STILL an individual separate to yourself. Too similar and it’s boring. Too similar and you’ll do everything together without some ‘you’ time. Both Vaggie and Charlie have similar interests/hobbies in dance and music, yet still have enough differences to be identifiable when together. Vaggie is more grounded than Charlie. Charlie gives some optimism and fun to Vaggie. Remember, a partner does NOT complete you - that’s a toxic mindset when taken too seriously, You complete YOURSELF. Whether you have someone or not, you must feel complete in yourself as to not slip into toxic dependency on a lover - to become them, a shadow of them or feel like you’ve lost your identity without them. Sounds harsh but it’s true. Chaggie compliments each other without a dependency. You stand alone yet uplift one another. You don’t always agree but in the end you always have each other’s backs. Love is often butchered in a toxic light in the media. So taking that into consideration, how does spideer work? Well, here’s some examples of good, bad and neutral: - Angel loves animals, Al fears/dislikes dogs. Perhaps Angel could assist him in overcoming this? - Al hates being touched, Angel dislikes being squeezed. Maybe this could help them reach an understanding... Or cause a rift? - Angel was the only one to break Al’s composure, either Angel is the *key* to delving further into Al’s more raw self... Or just another obVOXious pest? (yeah, I said it-) - Neither respect other’s boundaries, meaning both may fuel the other to be overly disrespectful in this area. Not good. - Angel is a sarky/sarcastic fuck, Al loves dry humour. Both seek amusement and chaos. In relationships one needs to see how conversation flows and in the hunicasts, both keep up some good as well as toxic banter. Both could roast the fuck out of an opponent however. - Al is acro/ace, Angel is hypersexual (appears like a sex addict - now I say this as his book has a crossed out ‘fun stuff’ with ‘work shit’ written on it. He’s always fixed on sex from his job to his humour), this could either aid Angel ease up on the sex stuff OR make him overly push it onto Al causing major rifts and discomfort (aces can have sex, ref to ace posts that real asexuals put to understand more but no one wants to be forced into sex is the point here). And we’ve already discussed their lack of respect for boundaries. The positive is that maybe this will make Angel understand how Val is rubbing off on his own behaviour towards men [again, more on that in the HD post]. - Both similar yet different in a way that does suit their compatibility chances but that doesnt mean they will click, it just improves the odds. - Both have similar enemies in Val and Vox, they’re on common terms. Likewise, Al is against the ‘sexual deviance’ of hell meaning he may be oddly supportive and protective of Angel in terms of Val. I dont even think his sadism will override this either. - Al dislikes modern tech, Angel seems to use it as his job requires it. A nice little menial difference. - Only ONE is an addict. Take it from an expert, you NEVER put two addicts together. They’re very vulnerable and prone to slipping deeper into their addictions as well as depending on each other too much that they essentially become very clingy, suffocating and toxic to each other. Seen it in action, it’s ugly. - Both could have a lot of fun and calm moments with each other. - He isn’t immediately smitten with Al but immediately shows a natural interest in Al’s powers and performance, embracing it openly. Leads for a good friendship turned lovers plot. - In Viv’s patreon, she confirmed Angel loves confident guys [sounds exactly like Al] We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate. I live with an ‘Angel Dust’ like person. It used to feel like life gave her everything and most times it did. Everyone loved her and she could get away with murder if she wanted to. But now she’s had to struggle and grow, let go of some ‘wants’ because they werent good for her and she’s becoming better for it. She has a long way but she’s more humble for it now [still got self confidence but it’s less narcissism now, which is more healthy for her]. Also, they make the word anal lol

#stans and antis dni #pros and cons to radiodust #spideer #anti hazbin #viv needs to actually research #vivs been in toxic relationships so she should know better and how these come across #wait until anti huskerdust #ill really be fuckin loathed then #anyways #enjoy?

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i-mist-you · 3 years

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🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑

Oh jeez thats a lot of squids. Get ready for a crap ton of random info.

Okay here we fricking go

1. 🦑 my favorite flower and color is wisteria (the shade of purple is gorgeous)

2. 🦑 i know im going to regret this. Its gonna take me a while

3. 🦑 i love chocolate, but my favorite is white chocolate

4. 🦑 my old best friend (ex-best friend?) came to school with like a bar of white chocolate sometimes and split it with me and yeah

5. 🦑 the other day i listened to the arena stage audio boot of deh. Here are a couple things that hit me

6. 🦑in the words fail scene, bway Zoe says “but you said that you used to talk about me with your brother-” but in this version she goes “how could you say you love me? How could you let me love you back?” And that hurt.

7. 🦑 also Evan goes “nothing can make sense of all these things I’ve done. Everything I’ve done”

8. 🦑 that line also hits because it can also be an implication that literally everything he has ever done always ended wrong/would have no excuse. And if you keep overthinking it, it really hurts.

9. 🦑 i love dear evan hansen, can’t you tell?

10. 🦑 hot take: its controversial whether or not deh was “all That™️” and i do think yes and no; like any fandom, the media can be overhyped and cause others to expect something that they end up not experiencing. To me, deh hit and hurt because i didnt know what to expect and it clicked with me.

11. 🦑 yeah i dont think that made any sense but whatever. I constantly do not make sense.

12. 🦑 “You have all these choices, I have none. You're all that I have to lose. Couldn't hurt you if I wanted to. I've decided on you” (Hurt Me Once, Ben Platt)

13. 🦑 im a very obsessive, clingy person

14. 🦑 i dont have tik tok and never plan on getting it. If the tiktoks are good, i’ll find them on other platforms

15. 🦑 i wish i could ice skate. if i could, i would want to figure-skate. I just have sh!tty balance and no flexibility/athleticism

16. 🦑 someone buy me a bi flag please thank you

17. 🦑 ive had ✨fiiiiiive mental breaakdowns✨

18. 🦑 another favorite flower of mine are forget-me-nots. I did a research project on them in second grade. They’re the national flower of Alaska, i believe (dont quote me on that)

19. 🦑 if i could, i would go visit all my mutuals and give em a hug

20. 🦑 i sometimes want to randomly and impulsively come out as bi to my parents cuz why the f**k not. I havent.

21. 🦑my favorite song growing up was “Fireflies” by Owl City

22. 🦑 “If people don’t mistake you and your best friend for a couple once in a while, are you even best friends?”

23. 🦑 i am often stuck in a paradoxical loop of wanting to get help and not wanting to be a burden

24. 🦑 I most likely have at least one undiagnosed mental illness

25. 🦑 I struggle to let things go, i am a sentimental person.

26. 🦑 hi go drink some water and wow you read all this thank you

Thx for the squids ig

#moon drop asks #squid asks

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wildgeese2017 · 3 years

Text

You: what makes you happy?

Stranger: His smile

You: thats so nie

You: nice

Stranger: But I haven’t seen in in a while

You: :(

Stranger: What makes you happy?

You: i like lying down and feeling the earth cradling my whole physical body i like listening to music by myself

You: but i feel like its all sucks bc it never lasts

You: like his smile

You: i dont know how to make sense of it all

Stranger: I feel you

Stranger: Seems like nothing lasts

You: it scares me

Stranger: And you never know when the last time is going to be the last time

Stranger: You always think you will have more

Stranger: Until you don’t

You: i feel like an animal i feel so blind to what fate has planned for me

You: i want to believe in something to sort of see everything through the right lens but i just dont know whether i cud

You: like i dont know what gods means to me

You: what does it mean to you?

Stranger: I try to trust in him

Stranger: But the faith is being tested

Stranger: I feel like so much unfairness couldn’t come from god

You: i used to know so surely that the whole point of this suffering was that it was a test or an inevitabilty but i worry that my conclusion was false

You: im scared that my faith is just learned helpessness

You: do you have anything you wanted to say

You: like why you are on this platform

Stranger: I just hope you get enough motivation to hold on

Stranger: Even if it’s the bare minimum

You: thanks im fine i just feel so confused

Stranger: I am pretty sure that someday something will come that will make it worth it

You: im doing well im being nice to my loved ones im going to work im having fun im just existentially terrified

Stranger: For everyone

You: yeh i think so too

You: i kno u dont kno me but im rooting for you

Stranger: How old are you ? Sorry if that’s too personal

You: im 20

Stranger: I’m rooting for you too!!! 😄

You: thx

Stranger: The confusion starts at the twenty’s

Stranger: I’m 25 and haven’t figured it out

You: lol ive been confused 4 so long tho

You: i think being confused is the whole point

Stranger: Maybe the meaning of life isn’t to find it purpose

Stranger: But to live and live while it lasts

Stranger: Love*

You: like its all just fluctuations of energy and the universe is just reminding itself that it exists bc being is the point of being like a perfect circle of belief and truth

You: yes i think so too

You: but it leads me to chasing empty bliss

Stranger: You should write a book about it

Stranger: Or poems

You: i want to feel more purpose but i dont know how im scared of nit finding peace and my vulnerability being exploited

You: i write poetry but i feel as tho i havent developed craft

Stranger: You must be brave to feel extraordinary :)

You: how do u express urself?

You: :)

Stranger: I dance

You: <3

Stranger: I’m a dancer

You: thats so wonderful

Stranger: Not good with words

You: does it make you feel free? i can only dance with the lights off

Stranger: Sometimes I turn the music up and close my eyes and just dance whatever I feel inside

You: that sounds nice

You: what kind of music do u like?

Stranger: And most of the times it feels like breaking my own heart

You: :(

Stranger: But it flies itself back together right after

You: in a good or bad way?

Stranger: Glues*

You: sometimes i wish i cud crack open my heart and show people

Stranger: I feel like a slightly cracked heart must fall apart to be build up again

You: i always paraphrase kafka when he said the reason for everything he did is to try and express the unexpressable

Stranger: People tend to ignore small cracks

Stranger: But take it serious when it’s all in pieces

You: :( i wish we cud all b more gentle with each other

Stranger: Same

You: i wish i had more energy to see everyones breaking hearts and fill up the cracks with my own love

Stranger: And I wish we would only fall in love with people who fall for us back

You: are you in love with him?

Stranger: I am

You: i dont kno whether ive ever been in love love what is it like?

Stranger: I’ve been in love once before

Stranger: And I swore I’d never open myself up for anyone

Stranger: And my best friend convinced me to go on this date with this guy

Stranger: And when he kissed me I just knew

You: that must hav been terrifying

Stranger: Took me 5years tho

Stranger: To fall like this again

Stranger: It was

Stranger: In it’s ironic way

Stranger: And it still is

You: i can tget close to anyone like that bc ive got all this stuff i cant let anyone see its brave for you to let someone in even if it hurts

Stranger: You know what?

Stranger: It wasn’t a decision I made !!

You: huh i never thought of it that way

You: maybe it was god

Stranger: Im fact the decision I took was to not let him in before we went on that date

Stranger: It wasn’t something I was in control of

Stranger: And it took him 5 hours to kiss me 😄

Stranger: And when he did time stopped

Stranger: And so did my senses except for feeling

You: what makes him so special? is it just the way he makes you feel or is there a big reason in your mind?

Stranger: It’s …

Stranger: How can I say this

Stranger: He was a surprise

Stranger: I didn’t expect him to be that good

You: did you feel like you had met before?

Stranger: I thought he’d be just another mediocre guy

You: so he suprised you

Stranger: But when I saw his smile and eyes I just knew I was screwed

Stranger: Yeah

Stranger: Feel good to finally talk about all this haha

You: ive never felt that way about way about anyone it sounds so confusing

You: is he kind?

Stranger: He was

You: is he not anymore?

Stranger: Sadly no

You: :(

Stranger: He decided to take a step back from me

You: what did he do to make you feel this way (if you dont mind me askin)

You: oh

Stranger: I remember when he called me to tell me he’s not ready for a relationship

You: what are you going to do? i cant imagine never seeing anyone i care about like that again

Stranger: Last time I saw him was three weeks ago

Stranger: And last time I heard from him was one week bwfore

You: did you know him long before ?

Stranger: Three months

Stranger: Not that long

Stranger: But I knew what he would mean to me when I first saw him

Stranger: So it felt like a smaller eternity

You: that sound so difficult

Stranger: I miss him terribly:)

You: i cant imagine feeling that way it wud really scare me everyone i talk to ive known for like 8years i cant give so much of myself to someone new

Stranger: You don’t have to give yourself to someone all at once

Stranger: Be protective of your energy

Stranger: And never trust the other person to not hurt you!

Stranger: But trust yourself and how you will react to it

Stranger: Trust that’s you would be strong enough to handle it

You: do you think he saw the real you? its so weird to think that everyone percieves you differently and out of your own control i worry that i focus too much on an idea of a person that i cud be

Stranger: Yea and no

Stranger: What I showed him was the real me but I also know that I didn’t show him everything that I am

Stranger: I feel your fear ! You got to know who you are as a person first

Stranger: And you got to be authentic with the people around you

You: i think it takes so long to show a clear picture of urself and its always moving and running away from the person you were when you last talked to that person who you want to really see you

Stranger: Exactly!

Stranger: That’s probably the most genuine talk I ever had

You: im so tired of trying to be a person i wish i cud just melt into everyone around me but theres so much i dislike about those around me and its not possible anyway. its just hard knowing the reason for everything is human connection and not living in a way that respects that truth

Stranger: Thank you

You: thank you too

You: i really appreciate your sharing its so scar to be honest out loud

You: *scary

Stranger: True

Stranger: I guess being anonymous makes it easier

You: yeh i just i was going to see a friend today who i feel like understands me but i couldnt in the end and i needed to express a part of myself u kno even tho im talking to other people who know me and care its not the same

You: i hope ou feel better soon regardless of what he chooses for himself

Stranger: I know exactly what you mean

Stranger: After all I have to choose myself over him as well :)

Stranger: Sometimes love isn’t enough

Stranger: Who am I fooling… most of the times it’s not enough

You: i have so many kind lovely friends and family who is trying but i cant let go of this heavy thing its like theres always some invisible chain wrapped around me

You: yeh :(

You: why cant we all help each other more

Stranger: Not many people are spiritual enough to say love is enough and all that matters f*ck the rest

You: i know so many people in pain and im too tired to be there all the time

You: its easy for me to say love is enough when i dont hav so many real problems that cant b solved with love alone

Stranger: I really pray for you to break out of those chains

Stranger: You seem like an amazing loving and caring person

Stranger: You deserve happiness

You: thanks i dont kno whether my hope has any power to reach you but i really hope you get some relief from your pain too

You: you too

You: i think we all do but i cant know that im so lucky to not meet people who are cruel enough to take that belief away from me

Stranger: And if you ever do meet people like that do me the favor of removing them immediately

Stranger: If it costs you your peace it’s too exoenz

You: i guess but i always think what happens to them when im gone?

Stranger: Expensive *

You: where do they go?

Stranger: ALWAYS !

You: what do they feel?

Stranger: That’s none of your business

Stranger: Let them find their own way

You: yeh i think we all need to respect ourselves to let go of toxicity

Stranger: You don’t have to guide them

You: i just feel like i want to care more i want to love more but i dont and that makes me feel small and selfish i wish we cud all connect our love its so scary not being able to reach each other

You: im scared to change and become better it sounds so hard i feel so selfish

Stranger: You’re not selfish if it means protecting your energy

Stranger: But don’t stand in your own way

Stranger: Be brave

Stranger: Can’t stress that enough

You: thanks i think i do need to be braver i try and look more people in the eye but maybe i need to be brave against myself more than against other people

Stranger: Have you ever watched greys anatomy?

You: since they arent in my control

You: no but all my friends love it

You: its on my list loll

Stranger: So Meredith grey said something like :

Stranger: Maybe she wasn’t opening up to people not because she was scared of the love she would receive

Stranger: But scared of what would happen when they took this live away from her someday

Stranger: Once you get a taste of love

Stranger: It’s like a drug

Stranger: Love*

You: like you and him, i find it hard to accept it when people choose me over someone else so i push them away to other people and i get upset that they replaced me

You: love is so scary

You: its too much

Stranger: Me and him …

Stranger: I feel like this story is not over yet

Stranger: :)

Stranger: And that calms me

You: i think if you have so much love inside you, u will succeed and find yourself in a good place if you focus on that love

Stranger: Yeah

Stranger: I literally believe in love because of the way I know I am capable to love

You: sometimes i worry that im not capable of love like that like i have something inside me that puts people off even though on a surface level i seem nice and passionate or sweet or whatever

You: like i worry im just playing a part and soon ill get tired of acting and i wont be what people need anymore

Stranger: Don’t worry too much

Stranger: Just truly be yourself

You: thanks i will try too

You: its so weird loving life this much and still not being happy

Stranger: Damn

You: like im so happy but its never enough

You: its not the right kind of joy it wont fit

Stranger: And this whole convo started with this simple question

You: loll

Stranger: What makes you happy

Stranger: Lol

Stranger: You know what I just realized

You: wot :0

Stranger: My answer was wrong in so many ways

Stranger: Your happiness shouldn’t be depending on someone else

Stranger: Cause you can’t control other peoples behavior

You: thats so real

You: its so scary tho since you cant b alone but you cant rely purely on others

Stranger: Your happiness should only be in your hands

Stranger: So controversial

Stranger: It’s a daily risk lol

You: like other people are all that matters but to them you are the other people so we all need to be kind to ourselves to be kind to each toher but we're all to hurt and scared to do all of it in the right way

You: we're all walking around with a piece of the happy puzzle and we have'nt figured out how to put it together

Stranger: sometimes we forget that all people are vulnerable and maybe hurting too

Stranger: When someone hurts your feelings you tend to forget you might have hurt theirs too

You: i always remember but i dont always respect it and that makes me dislike the kind of person i let myself be

Stranger: You will learn to

You: i hope so

You: i think thats the point

Stranger: Don’t pressure yourself

You: like we live and we all learn the same lesson

You: but it seems like its always repeating

You: like why haven't we learned it yet

You: like we're all one soul

You: and we can't reach the end of this problem or is the point how good we feel at points of it? i cant just chase joy if its fleeting iworry that even love is fleeting

You: idk i know we only hav the present

You: like all the advice uve given me i trust it

You: i just freak out thinking of the big picture

Stranger: Relax 😄

Stranger: It’s not all that serious

Stranger: Don’t forget to live along the way

Stranger: Love was never meant to be safe or measured!

Stranger: You got to be brave and love irritationally

You: i think that that is fair i just i go long stretches living and then i remember the whole question of why and how shud i live and i get all tangled up again

Stranger: And instead of being scared, trusting yourself with it

You: i think i need to trust more and i think faith is trust

Stranger: Grow and learn to trust yourself

You: i want to have more faith in myself in others in the future i just worry the way i acheive this will only be a bandaid i want more than blind faith i want to see the world and see it as it is and still feel love and joy and trust the universe and myself to experience it correctly and even let go of the whole concept of correct.

Stranger: I also think I might fall asleep soon lol

You: thanks for listening i think i will too lol good luck i wish you all the best <£

You: <3

Stranger: That’s what I wish you too

Stranger: From the bottom of my heart

You: :-)

Stranger: Take care strangee

You: u 2 :-)

Stranger: Stranger*

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creativegodtiers · 4 years

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Prompt Response: Upstart/Exodus Scenario

(apologies for the troll quirks 😔) “yo,” Virave, the Knight, said, lying sideways across their chair. “there’-S a lil -Situation -Stirrin up” “Yes, I Gathered bY the fact You’d called us all into the Situation Room,” Evelit, known to the mortals as the Mage, said with a raise of her eyebrow. “be nIce!!” Lilith, the Sylph, admonished, before turning back to her moirail. “what’s the matter??” “okey doke, here’s the thing,” the Knight said. With a flick of their hands, a small figure appeared on the table, bearing a smug smile and a toga. Lilith leaned in to inspect the figure. “Caesar?” “no i think that is the chicken man,” Summer, aka the Rogue of Void, said solemnly. “Don’t be ridiculous,” the Mage admonished. “{summer has a p(o)int. he greatly resembles the chicken man,}” Wisria, the Heir of Space, said. “I don’t know who that is,” Evelit mumbled. “haha!! smartie Doesnt know something!!” Summer crowed. “Fuck off.” “can we get back on track?” the Knight demanded. There was silence. “thank-S. thi-S guy claim-S he’-S a ‘better’ god, the ‘true’ one.” They tapped a claw on the table, narrowly missing the little figure. “-So far a-S i can tell, he’-S a de-Scendant of one of u-S who got hopped up on power and ha-S a literal god complex. needle-S-S to -Say, i want thi-S twink obliterated. who want-S to go put the fear of the god-S in hi-S heart with me?” The Rogue, the Sylph, and the Witch (also known as Elmara) immediately raised their hands. “{i d(o)n’t like c(o)nfr(o)ntati(o)n, but if y(o)u need a s(o)lar eclipse, text me,}” the Counter of Stars said with a small smile. Evelit sighed. “This could Go a lot of waYs. If I See You start makinG bad choices, I’ll alert You throuGh the usual method.” “texting “DONT DO IT DUMBASSES” to the group chat,” Virave said with a nod. “got it.” The man—his name has been lost to mortal minds, but we’ll call him Chad, because he was so a Chad—stepped down from his platform. The people adored his message, his speeches were on point as always, and just as he’d thought, those so-called Creators were either not real or too detached to do anything about it. “yo.” Chad glanced over to see four unassuming troll youngsters. He had to stifle a chuckle—three of them had their arms crossed and one was leaning her elbow on another, the very picture of teenage skepticism. Regardless, he would convince them. He was very convincing. “What can I do for you?” he said, putting on his best smile. He’d never been fond of trolls, but more followers were always needed. “A little birdie t+ld me y+u’re playing at g+dh++d,” one said, moving forward. Her red skirt swirled around her feet. Chad idly wondered how she avoided tripping. “I’m not playing, my dear, I am a god. A better god, in tune with the people, not sequestered in my tower all the time like some ‘gods’.” “okay but like heres the thing” one girl said, stepping forward. Chad wondered what caste these trolls were-none of them had a sign, and the dark blue of this girl’s shirt didn’t point to one specific caste. “the gods r literally always out n about u just gotta LOOK DuDe” Chad scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous. If the gods are so active, why haven’t we seen them in action recently?” “maybe you haven’t,” the jadeblood (you could tell by the scarf) girl muttered. Something clicked in Chad’s head. “Ah. You’re going to try to prove you are the gods.” “well, he caught on...decently fast,” the jadeblood said to her comrades. “so how we gonna play this?” the blue shirted one said. Chad felt a sting of mild irritation that they were ignoring him in favor of keeping up the “gods” facade. “okay, here’-S my idea. i -Shank him, and lilith heal-S the wound,” the one who hadn’t spoken before said. They pulled a knife from their yellow coat and twirled it easily in their hand. Lilith (presumably) gently whacked them on the arm. “don’t be sIlly! we‘re under some sort of oath not to harm mortals, aren’t we?” “no,” the other one grumbled, “but fine, i gue-S-S.” “I c+uld d+ the timey thing,” the one with the red dress suggested. There was a chime and she looked down. “Ah. N+pe. Evelit says bad idea. Damn.” Chad couldn’t deny a stirring of fear in his chest, but he pushed it down. “If you are the gods, then which ones are you?” “fuck yes!!” Lilith cheered. “transformatIon sequence tIme!!” “Yes,” Red Skirt Girl said. “HELL ye-S,” Knife Kid said. “hell fuckin yes” Blue Shirt said. “Can I g+ first?” Red Skirt Girl said. “I’ve been practicing.” Everyone nodded, so she took a breath in and began to twirl. The edges of her skirt flew up, revealing striped green stockings, which quickly became a blue as she spun faster and faster until- A glittery green shoe clicked hard against the pavement and the girl stopped, beaming with pride. Her skirt settled around her, shorter and fluffier now, her sleeves longer and— The Timecrest emblazoned proudly on the front. “The Wild One,” Chad whispered, unable to keep a hint of reverence from his tone. The Goddess of Tune did a very silly bow. “In the flesh.” “me neXt!!” Blue Shirt cried, clapping her hands. She closed her eyes and- Chad couldn’t quite describe it. She seemed to almost fold in on herself, imploding, but before she could implode all the way, she was back, suddenly, fully formed. She was still wearing the oversized blue shirt and black leggings, but now she had fingerless gloves, a domino mask, boots, and most importantly, the Voidcrest on her shirt. “The R-g-e of ——“ Chad said. Or, well, not really said so much as half-choked. The Rogue grinned. “Someone knows their history!” “So you’re-“ Chad turned to the other two. The jadeblood girl simply flicked her hands and the scarf transformed into flowing ribbons, the dress lengthened, and the Lifecrest bloomed into existence, along with several flowers springing up around her feet. “I thInk some people call me the Goddess of UprIsIng, whIch Is great, don’t you thInk?” The one remaining had apparently already changed, into the glowing golden cape and matching shirt and pants of.. “The Speaker of Truths,” Chad said. “Bingo bongo,” the Knight deadpanned. Chad took a deep breath in. No matter. He was still the better god, even alone. He had something they didn’t! “Well, regardless of your flashy transformation sequences, you are out of touch,” Chad declared. “The people have forgotten you, and a new god—a better, friendlier god—is here.” “woooow,” the Rogue drawled. “i cant even...ive seen stupiD, but this is something else.” “can i plea-Se ju-St -Shank him?” the Knight said, twirling their knife. The Sylph gently patted their cheek. “shoooosh.” “can we call in a solar eclipse now?” the Rogue said, but the Witch shook her head. “It w+n’t d+ any g++d. This is a matter +f rhetoric.” “OH!!” the Sylph said suddenly. “I’ve got an Idea!” She turned to Chad. “when’s your next sermon?” Chad checked the time. “A few minutes, actually.” “great! we’re comIng,” the Sylph said, and shoved past him, dragging the Knight along. Chad, confused, followed. When he arrived on stage, a crowd was already gathered, expectant. The gods stood off to one side, leaving the microphone available. Chad stepped up, tapped it a couple times, and told himself his mantra in his head. You are powerful. You are mighty. You are open. You are a god. “Helllooo, my people!” “our people,” a clear, commanding voice cut in. Everyone turned, and when they saw the gods, gasps and whispers broke out. “is it gonna b a rap off” the Rogue stage-whispered to the Knight. “nah,” the Knight said back. “i think i get what -Sylphie’-S plan i-S.” The Sylph started to walk towards the podium, and her friends followed, creating a strange little parade. “um. hello,” the Sylph said into the microphone, and the whispers increased. “thIs man claIms we have abandoned you, that we are out of touch. he lIes. we are among you, always, and not even fIguratIvely. who here has been to a protest recently that turned sour?” A few people raised their hands. The Sylph nodded, pointing at one of them. “you. protest for goldblood psIonIc headache medIcatIon to be legalIzed? there were a bunch of sonIc blasts, but somehow no one got burned. that was me helpIng. best of luck, btw.” “you, the one with the nice jacket,” the Knight said, and the people quieted, because the Speaker of Truths would not lie to them. “i told your mom -She had to get you vaccinated. did -She?” “Y-Yeah,” the kid said, looking shocked and maybe a little overwhelmed at having this attention put on them. “She did.” The Knight nodded, satisfied. “Y+u,” the Witch said, pointing at a young woman. “We fucked +nce. Last week, actually. Call me?” “okay, well, that Isn’t the best example-“ the Sylph said. “we went 2 a rave together!!” the Rogue said, pointing at yet another startled face. “wait, u 2? aw fuck man. i cant believe uve done this.” “-So, we gonna -Smite the-Se dork-S?” the Knight, and the crowd all backed up a bit. Chad, for his part, was eyeing the mic as if weighing the chances of being able to grab it back vs the chances of the Knight “shanking” him. “nah, they’re good,” the Sylph said. “just needed a lIttle remInder of theIr real gods, I thInk.” “sure we shoulDnt try 2 push that reminDer a bit?” the Rogue said hopefully. The Sylph smiled. “Already texting Wisria,” the Witch said. The Rogue stepped forward and raised their hands dramatically. “citizens! in the interest of fairness, we will allow this chaD here 2 give a lil Demo of his talents.” Chad stepped forward, looking like a man who had just seen his own death and was not at all pleased with the indignity of it. “Yes. Ahem...observe!” He pulled an apple from thin air, spun it around with a flourish, and then tapped it, It instantly aged and became a wrinkled and gray mush. “Cute,” the Witch said. The Rogue nodded. “one of urs. alright, y’all got the flashy anD non fatal powers. take it away!” The Sylph seemingly spontaneously grew a pair of jade wings and fluttered over the heads of the crowd. With a hum, she perched on a tree and gestured to the Witch, who sprouted matching wings of her own and joined her. Together, the two managed to age a small tree to the point where it’s shadow fell upon the whole gathering (considerably grown by now), and then to the point where it died. The Sylph then casually regrew all its limbs, and the two leapt down from their now considerably heightened perch. “Alright, our turn,” the Knight said, and right on cue, the sun went out. There were several gasps and a few shrieks, but everyone fell silent when the glowing Crests of the gods appeared in the sky, bright enough almost to replace the sun. Then they faded, the sun reappeared, and the gods took a bow in the style of stage plays. “learned your lesson, dearIe??” the Sylph said to Chad as the Rogue shoved him in front of the mic. Chad looked down at his feet, not meeting the eyes of what had once been his congregation. “I...I am not a god.” “damn right,” the Knight said. “alrighty, peace out y’all.” “stay safe!!” the Sylph cried. “keep an eye out 4 us,” the Rogue said with a wink. “Call me!” the Witch said, pointing again at the young woman in the crowd she had singled out before. And the four ascended away, pleased with a job well done.

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returntoinocense · 5 years

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The way you make me feel

Penny Haywood x Slytherin fem!mc warnings: none word count: 3315 Part 1 Part 2 A/N: No beta we post our drafts like men, my mental health is taking a toll on me please don’t hate me D: I didn’t want to leave you hanging and it was getting a little too long for my taste so I’m posting the end in two parts.

Also big thanks to @dratin-dragonadetinta96 for putting up with my bullshit.

Finally the day to go back home for the holidays has come. The platform was crowded with students. You were really excited and nervous but mostly nervous. Penny’s parents agreed to let her go to your family’s Christmas party; your relationship with her was no secret to her parents and they were really happy for the both of you.

Penny was going to stay at the manor for at least three days, the rest she was going to spend it with her family.

You communicated your parents that you were bringing a friend with you for the party so you wouldn’t get bored like most years, and they accepted without much discussion. It was surprising to say the least, but it couldn’t make you happier that they agreed. It was the first time that you brought someone over that wasn’t Rowan, though something quite unpleasant settled at the pit of your stomach.

You were going over every possible scenario in your head while idly going over your luggage, when a hand on your shoulder distracted you; turning around you notice Rowan softly smiling at you.

“Hey… what’s got you so troubled, you look ghostly?” Rowan asked worry plastered on her face. You look at her giving a sad smile.

“I’m just a little stressed that’s all, nothing to worry about” you said dismissing your friend’s worry who just crossed her arms and looked at you incredulous. You sighed, your stiff shoulders dropping a little and finally, spoke your mind.

“I’ve been analyzing every possible scenario of how my parents could react once they realize what’s been happening and honestly, I don’t see a lot of good outcomes” you look at her a little defeated and continue “all I can hope for is that they won’t do anything drastic, I don’t care what happens to me I’m more worried about Penny”

Rowan hugged you tightly and without letting you go they said “Everything will work out just fine, you’ll see. Even though your parents are a little bit fanatics they still love you, I know that they’ll want you to be happy” she rubs soothing circles on your back. You relax on her embrace and hug her back before gently pulling back to look at her.

“Thank you Rowan, I can always count on you to make me feel better” you smile noticing Penny, Tonks, Tulip, Barnaby and Charlie walking towards you.

“You weren’t leaving without me were you?” Penny said nudging your side and kissing your cheek.

“Wouldn’t dream of it Pens” you said smiling and sliding your arm on her waist pulling her closer. Rowan and the rest smiled at both of you.

“Are you all going home for the holidays?” you asked curiously, surprised that you didn’t ask sooner.

“Tonks and I are staying; we’ve got some mischief to do” Tulip first answered pulling Tonks closer to her and winking. “We are probably going to get into a lot of trouble. But I can’t pass another opportunity to mess with Flitch” Tonks continued, giggling.

You shake your head at them smiling, wishing that you could see what they were preparing for that poor man, not that you liked him but you could only pity him, after all being the target of those pranks couldn’t be the best thing in the world.

“Well guess it’s going to be fun for you guys, you better write about it, I really need to know how it goes” Penny says giggling.

“Yeah don’t have too much fun without us” Charlie said suddenly looking at you with his eyes wide open “Oh! I almost forgot” he pulled a little package from his satchel an gave it to you “Mom wanted me to give you these, they are matching mittens, for both of you” he smiled “and she also said that you are always welcome at the burrow if you ever need a place to stay or if you just want to visit” the last part was directed at you, specifically, and you knew it, you smiled and hugged him, Penny joining in a second later.

“Thanks, I’ll make sure to write” you said enthusiastically “Are you joining us in the train? You asked hopeful.

“Oh…no” he said sadly “I’m going to be with my brother Percy and there are already three of you in that compartment”

“Oh that’s alright” Penny said a little sad “what about you Barnaby? Are you joining us?” he was looking around kind of lost but quite fixated on Rowan, noticing the attention turning to him he straighten up and looked at Penny.

“Yeah sure” he said smiling and scratching the back of his neck “I’d love to”

“Perfect, now that that’s settled why don’t we start getting on board, I’m getting a little anxious of just standing around” it came out a little ruder than you intended which got you a few strange looks. You shrugged “Sorry I’m a little on edge” at that Penny held your hand and smiled at you.

“It’s going to be fine, don’t worry” you nodded and squeezed her hand a little.

You said your goodbyes and boarded the train finding your compartment and just throwing your backpack in there sort of to claim it and flopped down on the seat. Barnaby, Rowan and Penny followed close behind. Penny tapped your legs from the seat and sat close to you a smile on her face.

“I can’t believe we are spending Christmas together as a couple” she said grabbing your arm and shaking it a little.

“Yeah I hope you like my house, we are also going to see Barnaby at the party right?” you look at him and Rowan “You know you can bring anyone you want with you as your date or friend I don’t know…” you said know full well that he fancied Rowan.

“So anyone I want huh?” he said side eying Rowan and blushing a little “It’s going to be fun, will you go with me Rowan?”

It amused you how much Rowan got flustered at the sudden invitation; you looked at Penny in complicity and grinned.

Rowan fixed her glasses and looked down blushing “I… uh y-yes” she composed herself and spoke surer of herself “Yes, I’d love to” she smiled at him and then made a face at you and Penny, you couldn’t help but giggle.

“Awn that’s so cute” you said snuggling with Penny “Finally, after so many years, it’s gonna be a fun Christmas” you said with a sad smile, wishing Jacob was there to share it with him, the discomfort coming back to you a little. But even though you still haven’t found him, you gained a lot of friends that feel as if they were your siblings specially Rowan, she was your best friend, and seeing her getting flustered and with that stupid grin on her face after Barnaby asked her out, made your current uneasiness all the more bearable it.

***

The rest of the trip you enjoyed some treats from the trolley and sat in comfortable silence watching how Barnaby fell asleep on Rowan’s shoulder. He shook awake as the train stopped at King’s Cross. Penny said her parents were going to wait for you at the station to pick up Beatrice and to greet both of you; after all they wanted to meet the person that Penny speaks so highly of.

Penny and you parted ways with Rowan and Barnaby shortly after getting your luggage.

To say you felt nervous was an understatement, you were sweating and your mouth was dry like the desert. Penny was pulling you by the hand evading the people on the platform to where her parents were. “Relax you big dork they are gonna love you” she said noticing your stiffness. “it’s not like you are gonna have dinner with them or something” she said with a smile and suddenly you remembered that she must be feeling them same nervousness as you are but multiplied since she’s gonna spend a few days in your house.

You stood still as Penny greeted her parents with a hug; you looked at her lovingly when she turned around and extended her hand to you.

“Mom, dad, this is Y/N Y/LN, my girlfriend” she said with the most beautiful and proud smile you’ve ever seen, kind of like the one she makes when nailing a potion but brighter. You took her hand and slowly but surely got closer and nodded.

“It’s nice to meet you, I hope you don’t mind me stealing your daughter this Christmas” immediately after saying that you felt awkward. Mr. Haywood crossed his arms glaring at you and making you feel small for a second before he embraces you in a tight hug, lifting you from the ground and laughing a little.

“Ha-ha! I like you kid, though it makes me sad that we won’t spend Christmas together. I’m glad that I can see her smiling like that again” he put you down carefully as Mrs. Haywood approached and hugged you briefly smiling. You sighed in relief and smiled back.

“I’m sorry I didn’t extend the invitation for the whole family” you look down “but I’m afraid my parents don’t know about the actual state of our relationship and well they can be a little…” you looked at them apologetically “intolerant…” The Haywood’s looked at each other and nodded, Mrs. Haywood leaned in.

“Well dear, you are always welcome at our home” she put a reassuring hand on your shoulder and grinned. “I know it’s early but here’s your Christmas gift and yours too hunny” she handed you and Penny one package each. “Don’t open until Christmas” Mr. Haywood leaned on your ear and whispered “Seriously don’t open it”. Beatrice soon joined the scene hugging her parents and then Penny. She looked at you and walked close looking at you with her head held high point her finger at you.

“This is the first time I’m spending Christmas without my sister, you better take care of her or else” she glared at you and walked back to her parents who giggled. Penny shook her head and grabbed your hand. You smiled at her as you felt something pull at your coat, looking down you notice your house elf, Solry with an inpatient look on his face.

“Master Y/LN, you are thirty minutes behind schedule” raising your eyebrows you looked at your watch and then at Penny’s parents apologetically.

“Oh Merlin, I’m so sorry, time just went by so quickly, I’m afraid we have to go my parents don’t appreciate delays” you shrunk yours and Penny’s luggage with reducio saving it in your backpack. “it’s been a pleasure meeting you, expect mail from us, we have a long way to Gales” you waved them goodbye and waited for Penny to say her goodbyes then pulled her by the hand following the house elf to wherever place your father decided to put the portkey. You look at Penny a little worried.

“Have you ever travelled by portkey?”

“Uh… not really, why?”

“Well you could experience nausea and dizziness. Oh and we have to grab it at the same time, just a heads up” you smiled as you arrived at the location and the elf pointed at a serpent statue, of course, you thought. You looked at Penny and signaled her to touch it without letting go of her hand.

A few moments later you arrived at a field near a cliff falling onto your back, Penny almost falling on top of you. Slowly you got up and cleared the dust from your clothes extending a hand to Penny who takes it a little disoriented.

“Are you okay?” you ask noticing her sudden pale face.

“Ugh…I think I left my stomach in London” she said clinging to your hand and placing her free hand on her mouth. A second later she let go of your hand to support he weight on her knees. You looked at her with a little pity.

“Yeah, sorry about that, it takes some time to get used to, I use it all the time and I still can’t get the landing right” you scratched the back of your head nervously then rubbed soothing circles on her back.

“I’m alright, I’m alright” she said as she looked up at you “Where are we?”

“Oh, we are on Y/LN manor grounds” you pointed to the big manor down the hill “it’s a small island, my father used a concealment charm to avoid muggles running into our house, or so he says, so we don’t have neighbors but I do like to sneak out to the small fishing village up north” you said with a fond smile.

“Oh alright… I … uh suddenly don’t feel like this was such a good idea” she said with a hint of fear on her voice.

“Well, we are already here and whatever happens, happens I guess…” you locked eyes with her “just know that I don’t regret being with you. With you I feel like I can overcome anything, no matter what it is and that I will always support you” Penny hugged you tightly.

“Thank you, Y/N, we can do this” you hugged her back and she kissed your lips “we should get going, we are already late aren’t we?” you kissed back and looked at Solry tapping his foot on the ground waiting for you to get going.

“Oh don’t look at me like that, it’s not the first time I’m late” you told him “if I could appear there at will I would of done that” the elf glares at you and banishes, you giggle and start walking towards the mansion with Penny close behind.

The manor looked centuries old, it rose from the ground as a proud example of the people that lived there, stoic yet vehement with a superiority air to it. Two Hungarian horntail dragon statues sat at each side of the main gate that opened for you as you got close to it. Penny looked at you as if questioning the choice for that particular decoration. You felt her gaze on you and shrugged looking straight ahead where both your parents stood, waiting at the door.

“Father is Hungarian” she looked at you suspiciously but said nothing as she noticed how tense you were.

“Y/N, Miss Haywood, I presume?” your father’s thick Hungarian accent greeted you both as he extended his hand to Penny, which she shook nervously.

“You can call me Penny… if you’d like” she said with a shy smile. Your father only nodded and gestured inside as he took a step back.

“You must be freezing and tired” your mother started “please, come inside there’s tea and biscuits” she said eagerly as she took Penny gently by the shoulder to guide her inside. “We can discuss sleeping arrangements and...” she looked at Penny who was wearing mainly muggle clothes “appropriate attire over tea” she looked down at her clothes, then at you mouthing what’s wrong with it? You just shook your head and shrugged.

***

“When you said you lived in a manor I didn’t think it was going to be…” Penny said gesturing vaguely at the room she was going to stay in, while she unpacked her belongings “…this. Your dad is scary. Your mom seems nice though”

“Even after judging you by how you were dressed? Even after the face she made when you told her you are half-blood?” you crossed your arms.

“Well, awkward conversation aside, I have a good feeling about her” she smiled, left all her stuff on the bed and crossed the distance to kiss your cheek “Will you be a dear and help me?” you blushed and nodded.

“We can do a little tour before dinner if you’d like” you held both of Penny’s hands and leaned in a little waiting for Penny to kiss you. But you were interrupted by the door flinging open. You instantly put a respectful distance between you and Penny, as your mother stood by the door frame with a surprised look on her face. Clearing her throat she began.

“If you girls are ready we are going to have dinner earlier so we can begin preparations early in the morning” she looked at both of you with suspicion. You looked at each other and nodded. “And Penny dear, I brought you some appropriate clothing; I believe they are you size” you grabbed the clothes with annoyance and Penny gently took them from you before you could say anything.

“Thank you Mrs. Y/LN, we’ll be right there” she smiled at your mother as she closed the door.

“Ugh, she has no right to tell you how to dress” you said throwing your hands in the air in frustration “you look just fine like that” you looked at her apologetically.

“It’s okay I can handle it, it’s just clothes” she said with a sad smile.

“You shouldn’t have to” you sighed and hugged her tightly and she hugged you back.

“Let’s not keep them waiting”

***

The next morning, you went straight to Penny’s room, getting in without knocking, in hopes to wake her up for breakfast, little did you know she was just out of the shower with only a towel covering her.

“Oh…” she said wide eyed as she threw a pillow at your face “Are you an animal!?” she yelled blushing and pulling the blanket from her bed towards herself “why don’t you knock?” you covered your eyes and turn around.

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to… I wanted to surprise you” your face turned beet read and you couldn’t move.

“You damn well did, close the door at least you big dork!” she sighed as you closed the door “I’m changing in the bathroom” you heard the door to the bathroom close a little too violently and sighed cursing yourself for being so careless. Turning around you picked up the pillow, walked towards the bed, setting the pillow at the head and sitting waiting for Penny to come out.

“Pens…” you started, fidgeting with your fingers “I didn’t mean to startle you”

“I know” came her voice through the door “I’m just a little on edge, I had a nightmare” her voice didn’t sound convinced.

“You wanna talk about it?” something told you she wasn’t entirely honest, your mother’s words probably affected her more than she let on.

“Not at the moment, I just want to move on and have some breakfast, I’m starving” at that the door opened and she was dressed with her normal clothes and hair still a little damp. You smiled at her, getting up from the bed and kissing her lips.

“Breakfast is served, mother is nowhere to be seen and father left early in the morning”

“Well that’s a relief, we can breathe a little, but… we need to tell them at some point you know?” she looked down and held your hand.

“Yes, I know” you sighed “let’s just… let’s eat first and get ready for the day, mother said someone was coming over later today”

As you got downstairs, you heard the double doors open, Solry was greeting two hooded figures that soon became clear who they were, Merula and someone you assumed was her caretaker. What is she doing here? You thought, but you knew better than to make a scene.

“You are early…” you told her. Penny stopped next to you, letting go of your hand and keeping her hands to herself, at which she smiled wickedly.

“Ah, looks like I just made it for breakfast” she said with a sarcastic tone “Your mother was very nice to arrange my trip here, we get along pretty well” she winked and you crossed your arms.

“Yeah… it looks like it” you sighed and guided her towards the dining room.

#penny haywood x mc #hphm #penny haywood x reader #hogwarts mystery #wlw #100% best friend rowan #barnaby x rowan

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thelifetimechannel · 6 years

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This week’s bonus content brings us Jake and John discussing the likelihood of a robot apocalypse:

JAKE: Hey there pal! JAKE: So youre jades... brother? JOHN: that's right! JOHN: compared to how confusing everyone else's family trees are, we are very straight forward. JOHN: even if we did not know we were related at first... JOHN: i wasn't sure how YOU were related to her, back when you were pen pals. JOHN: do you remember sending me that letter? JAKE: By jove i almost forgot about that. It feels like ages ago. JOHN: i don't know how long it was for you, but i got it three years ago. JAKE: I mean from my point of view it was only a couple of months but a lots gone on. JOHN: it arrived on my birthday so it was right on time. JOHN: it came in handy in a tight spot. JOHN: you were right in your letter, i DO love movies. JOHN: even if i am not into wrestling that much. JAKE: Oh well ive had my fill of fisticuffs for awhile anyway. Movies on the other hand i havent had much time to dig into! JAKE: By the way did you like your present?? And little terry kiser? JOHN: um... JOHN: well, i named her liv tyler, actually. i didn't know you already named her, or him. JOHN: anyway, she saved my butt in a big way! JOHN: and then she flew off on a ship heroically, but ran off again i guess? JOHN: and then she somehow joined dave and rose on their even more heroic mission to blow up a sun. JOHN: which they failed to do mostly because they actually MADE the sun, but the important thing is that they tried. JOHN: they came back, but i think the bunny didn't make it. :( JAKE: I live by the philosophy that when a stuffed toy changes hands its appropriate to change its name. It gives things a history like that. JAKE: At least she died doing something i presume she enjoyed. JOHN: blowing up? JAKE: No!! Being a hero and dicing up bad guys! JOHN: was the robot sentient? JOHN: maybe we should have treated it with more respect, so it would not turn evil and destroy us like a watership down version of skynet. JAKE: I mean dirk helped me a little in making it and all of his projects seem to enjoy that kind of mayhem. JAKE: Not as much as his own version of the rabbit but i think in giving me advice at least a couple of his engine greased fingerprints are on it. JOHN: man, everyone is some sort of robotics genius around here. JOHN: if we hadn't already had an apocalypse ushered in by rogue technology i would be worried. JAKE: I briefly suspected hal but no worries. JAKE: I think if he were going to attempt a robopocalypse he wouldve done it a long time ago when he was bored and had less to do. JOHN: he and terezi would get along. they both seem to enjoy wreaking mayhem for fun, although she says she's sorry now. JAKE: They might try but dirk would go spare. JAKE: And I think hes tossed out all his spares for today already. JOHN: everyone has learned their lesson about devious deeds! JOHN: i'm confident that will not happen in the future. JOHN: instead we can relax and do things like watch that movie you were recommending. JAKE: Oh yeah!! JAKE: Which one did i recommend again? I think it was weekend at bernies. JOHN: the one about the corpse getting moved around to trick people? JAKE: Oh yes! Two gentlemen discover that their boss has died shortly before throwing a party and try to convince people hes still alive by puppeting his body around! Its really quite hilarious! JOHN: it sounds good. JOHN: although apparently i'm already locked in to watching a few others. JOHN: including dave's? JOHN: i can't believe he became a big deal movie star in your world, that's hilarious. JAKE: He did. Ive got one of his characters tattooed on my arm! JOHN: um JOHN: you do? JOHN: wow. JOHN: have you told him that? JAKE: Not yet. Should i? JOHN: you might actually make him speechless, which would be a first. JOHN: definitely try it. JOHN: wait, which one is it anyway? JOHN: also, how did you get a tattoo? JOHN: i thought you grew up alone or something, like jade did. JAKE: Ive got sweet bro. Dirk gave it to me after we met up! JAKE: Hes got hella jeff. We match! JAKE: Let me tell you it was a harrowing thing getting it! Id heard getting a tattoo really hurts but you know what i just closed my eyes and before i knew it it was over just like that. JOHN: ... JOHN: huh. JOHN: well, that sounds exciting. i'm sure he'll be thrilled. JOHN: none of us have ever shown that level of devotion. JOHN: mostly we just repeat his shitty memes. JAKE: Dirk takes memes to a whole new level pal. JOHN: i haven't really had a chance to meet him before this. JOHN: i've been missing out on so many reunions today, maybe because i keep bouncing around taking people places. JOHN: out of you guys i've mostly talked to jane and roxy. JOHN: and i only talked to jane once! JOHN: i'm already behind. JAKE: Oh im sure youll get along great! Hes a cool dude and super smart. A little odd but he genuinely means well. JOHN: i'm looking forward to meeting everyone! JOHN: wait, i did meet him once, that's right. JOHN: back in the bad timeline, i saw him floating in space and asked him what happened, because i'd just come back from fighting calliope's brother. JOHN: but all he said was 'i failed' and then he... turned into glitter? JOHN: there were lots of glitches floating around, it was a hazard. JOHN: hopefully we can overcome that first impression. JAKE: ...yeah that sounds like dirk. JAKE: He can be pretty dramatic. JOHN: rose and dave are super dramatic too, he'll fit right in. JOHN: with all of us together it's going to be all drama all the time. JOHN: it will be up to us normal people to keep things under control. JAKE: He grew up all alone so sometimes i think he only knows how to act from movies too but who knows. Maybe it runs in families. JAKE: Family. Weird. JAKE: Hey that means were family too arent we? JOHN: i guess so! JOHN: you're my... JOHN: hm. JOHN: relative. JAKE: Relative. I guess. JAKE: I cant exactly go calling you great uncle john even if i still call jade "grandma". JAKE: Has a ring to it though! Great uncle john! Its all folksy like poppop crocker. JOHN: that's right, i was jane's grandpa in your universe, i guess. JOHN: which is also weird to think about. JOHN: and i was sort of everyone's dad, by mixing our slimes. JOHN: so it keeps getting more outrageous. JOHN: as for knowing how to act from movies... JOHN: i didn't even grow up alone, and i think sometimes i have that problem. JOHN: you want your life to make sense that way! JOHN: but real life is a lot more complicated sometimes. JAKE: Yeah!! JAKE: God yes it is. ESPECIALLY when it comes to romance. Good grief. JOHN: i know! JOHN: the movies make it look like it's essential or something, when usually in real life it mostly seems to cause trouble. JOHN: but you can't get a good ending otherwise, unless you accomplish that and a bunch of other arbitrary criteria. JOHN: most of which we haven't accomplished ourselves, but i think we're going to get a good ending anyway. JOHN: still it can mess with your head. JOHN: real life is not like the movies, that's for sure. JAKE: Its hard to have a romance going when your life is constantly under threat by skeleton monsters. JAKE: Also your first time seeing another person in ten years and your first boyfriend happen on like the same day. JOHN: see, that's how it happens in the movies sometimes. JOHN: the main characters meet up and get together right away, and i guess you have to assume it all works out, because the movie ends. JOHN: but when you're actually doing things it is not that convenient, you have to keep going. JOHN: although i hope we're going to get a break soon. JOHN: i would be happy for the credits to close on the constant heroics and dying for a while. JAKE: Me too. JAKE: I want a nap. Without an evil spider troll waking me up. JAKE: Movies also dont tell you how tiring the whole rigmarole of adventure is. JOHN: the main characters always look great, if fashionably ruffled, and they can keep going no matter what. JOHN: but i'm kind of tired. JOHN: especially since i've lived through the same hours twice in places i think? JAKE: You and your weird time travel nonsense again huh? JOHN: i will probably be mostly retiring that, i wouldn't want to cause any more trouble. JOHN: for now it looks like everything is turning out fine on its own. JAKE: Yessir i think were on the right path now and as soon as were done here im gonna take a long nap and anyone who cares to wake me up can throw down about it even if they are a hitherto-perfectly nice troll lady. Or human lady. Or anyone else. JAKE: The suplex of slumber justice is unisex. JOHN: that's the spirit! JOHN: we will all pass out and righteously beat up any one who disturbs us. JOHN: except hopefully once we are settled somewhere a little less exposed. JOHN: if we were asleep here someone might roll off. JAKE: But we can fly? JAKE: Where would we even fall? Towards the frog since its like a planet? Or... down? Were being pulled down by gravity i guess but how can we fall down if theres just space? JAKE: Would we float in our sleep? Maybe just get sucked back to the victory platform? JOHN: that sounds like a question for jade, she's more interested in how this works. JOHN: i told her science was dumb and boring if it didn't work the way i wanted, which made her upset, but i guess i got what i wanted. JOHN: so hah. JAKE: So science works how you want now? JAKE: Are you ganking my power set young man?? JOHN: not all of science, just space and time i guess. JOHN: and all of the scientific laws i am violating with my wanton displacement of matter and energy. JOHN: what ever those laws might be. JOHN: i am not a scientist or lawyer. JOHN: or science lawyer. JAKE: You fiend. Ah well as long as you dont go abusing your power im sure nothing terrible will happen. Like you flap your windy hood and cause a hurricane down south like an errant butterfly of causality. JOHN: well, i sort of lured lord english here, but i had to to save calliope, and we had to fight him anyway, so hopefully you can let that slide. JOHN: like i said, i will be taking it easy from now on. JAKE: I hear you there. Im over here asking myself do i even want to go wandering around this wonderland of dreaminess or do i just want to curl up over in that edge of the lily pad and have a nice snooze? JAKE: You know i can nap almost anywhere. I consider it a talent. JAKE: I have fallen asleep on clear grassy hills except thats probably not a good thing because centaurs can track through at any moment and they arent too careful about where they step! JOHN: jade was like that too! JOHN: although it MIGHT have partly been a troll messing with her brain again? JOHN: trolls sure are meddlesome. JOHN: anyway, this is probably our last chance to explore the dream bubbles, so maybe hold off on the naps until later. JOHN: also, centaurs? JAKE: Centaurs! JAKE: Oh yeah did i never say my island was full of alien monsters? JAKE: Because my island was full of alien monsters. JOHN: wow, your life actually WAS like a movie. JOHN: no wonder it was tempting to see yourself as an action hero. JOHN: everyone else had such weird and dramatic childhoods. JOHN: i don't have many bragging rights but JOHN: i liked mine. JOHN: i guess i'm one of the people that actually... left something ok behind? JOHN: but that's fine! because there can be ok things in the future too. JOHN: or hopefully more than ok. JAKE: I hope so. JAKE: I mean most things would probably be better than having to keep an eye out for monsters while walking to the pantry for canned friggin beets. JAKE: Not that i couldnt handle myself but beets arent worth that much. JOHN: bluch, no. JOHN: jade kept trying to make us eat our vegetables. JOHN: it was terrible. JOHN: she doesn't even know about lunchables. JAKE: My grandma ONLY stocked veggies. JAKE: And this weird stuff called spam. JOHN: i think our jade would probably have a heart attack if she saw spam. JOHN: although she does like raw beef these days. JOHN: which is a little alarming if you see her eat it. JAKE: I think she mostly included it as a courtesy to me and also i dont think theres many other great ways to keep meat. JAKE: So i hunted! Hopefully most of those creatures were edible and i didnt give myself any weird diseases. JOHN: the rest of you were like man versus wild! JOHN: including dave and rose kind of, even though they lived in real houses. JOHN: i will have to catch up if we are in some sort of survivor situation in the new universe. JOHN: i'm not really sure how that will pan out. JAKE: Youll be fine. Well watch your back! JAKE: Dirk will probably like. Invent a house if you give him long enough. JAKE: Just stick with jane and youll be fine. Shes kind of like you in that she also had a pretty cushy upbringing if you count out the assassination attempts. JAKE: Not that i hold it against her anything. We all take our lumps as theyre given. I mean she also has a dead grand- JAKE: Wait a minute. JAKE: Did you say you were...? JAKE: *Suspicious squinting.* JOHN: what? JAKE: Janes... JAKE: Poppop? JOHN: i... guess so? JOHN: that would make sense, she was my nanna. JOHN: oh man, was i also crushed to death by a flying baby? JOHN: that would be so undignified. JAKE: But hold the damn phone!! JAKE: You were ALSO jades brother in my timeline! JAKE: So if you were siblings and youre also janes poppop... JAKE: Would that make her and i... related?? JOHN: um... JOHN: not genetically? JOHN: but i think you were adopted siblings in our world. JAKE: !! JOHN: she grew up with a brother under a wicked alien queen. JOHN: which was betty crocker! JOHN: and the troll empress. JOHN: it is all connected. JAKE: So we were always family! JAKE: Gosh shell be so surprised to find out i bet. Just over the moon. JOHN: who doesn't want more family? JAKE: Of course! Good gravy aint that just like a movie. So many of us grow up without any family to speak of and we find out we were all family all along! JAKE: Consarnit id even call that some kind of irony. JOHN: at least it's a pretty crazy coincidence. JOHN: except since skaia set it up that way it's not a coincidence at all. JAKE: The chilly wind of fate whips through our unshielded undercarriages. JAKE: Get out of there skaia that zone is closed for business! JAKE: Its not enough to be whipping round my legs its gotta go and nab my shorts too... JAKE: Well ive had the last laugh. Ive got PANTS now! AND family! HAH! JOHN: well, fate or coincidence or whatever, I'M happy about it. JOHN: and i think both pants and family are important.

#bonus content #jake english #john egbert

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peckhampeculiar · 5 years

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Twerking nine to five

PECKHAM’S KELECHNEKOFF STUDIO OFFERS FITNESS CLASSES RANGING FROM POLE-DANCING TO TWERKING TO YOGA. We meet its inspirational founder – the personal trainer, actress and Peckham resident Kelechi Okafor

WORDS JUMOKÉ FASHOLA PHOTO DILESH SOLANKI

I don’t think you could find anyone prouder to be a south Londoner than Kelechi Okafor. Born in Nigeria, she arrived to join her mother in Peckham at the age of five and the area has been her home ever since.

Describing herself as a ride or die Peckhamite, she not only lives locally, but has also established her Kelechnekoff fitness studio here.

Kelechi is a fierce, fun and fabulous woman, with boundless energy, who sees her remit as one of reclaiming the narrative about what it means to be a strong black female in the age of social media.

Her studio, based in the Sojourner Truth Centre on Sumner Road, offers everything from yoga to pole-dancing to twerking. Why twerking?

“One of the things I wanted from having a space like this,” she says, “is to allow women across the board to be tender and engage fully with their bodies.

“Because society has hyper-sexualised the female body so much, and the black female body specifically, there are women who just want to be as far away from that narrative as possible, not understanding that our power lies in the sexuality and sensuality of being a woman. That’s what I want us to take back.”

As an actor, director and personal trainer who specialises in twerk and pole-dance fitness, it’s been a challenging road to get to where she is today – from the homelessness she experienced as a teenager to supporting her mother and brothers, to depression, therapy, having to integrate into a new family when she first arrived in the UK, childhood sexual abuse and a lot more.

She has survived and is very open about her personal journey to date, particularly on social media. No topic is off limits – black issues, police brutality, mental health, her own recent miscarriage.

She has amassed a following of almost 35,000 people on Twitter, with a further 12,400 followers on Instagram. Where did her fascination with social media start?

“It was probably around 2013, when the shift started happening and I just felt that we had something here that allowed us to communicate with everybody, worldwide,” she says.

“I’ve always been a writer, and when Twitter came along I just took to it, because I thought, ‘This is a space where I can say what I’m thinking and I can put it out there as a form of microblogging.’

“I joined it when hardly anyone else was on there and I remember when the influx of celebrities started joining us. I thought, ‘There goes the neighbourhood, they are going to ruin everything!” she laughs.

“But it has changed and I’ve changed with it, as I saw how it allowed us to have our own voice separate from the narrative that we were getting from the media.

“I feel that this is where the power is. It’s an opportunity for me, Kelechi, to give you an alternative narrative to what you’d normally get from the mainstream.”

But in being so outspoken across her social media platforms, has there been a cost? “Yes, there has been, but I think that for anything that matters to you, there is always a sacrifice,” she says.

“Occasionally I will go online and there will be someone calling me a black b**** or a black this. Sometimes I save the tweets. Perhaps one day I’ll take it to court and then they’ll have to show up and explain that email or tweet they sent. But it hasn’t really got there.

“I did have horse manure sent to me in the first small studio I opened in Clapton, though,” she remembers ruefully.

“I had been speaking that weekend about the appropriation of black culture by mainstream pop artists.

“I was pointing out that when it’s ‘appropriation’, there’s always someone with more power who benefits from it financially. If it was ‘appreciation’, the person who has less of the power should be benefiting from it but they’re not.

“I was explaining that and someone got extremely upset with something I said, because soon after, I got horse manure posted to me anonymously.

“Although,” she laughs, “it didn’t even offend me because it was so well packaged and 100 per cent organic.”

What was the response to that experience from her social media followers?

“I have a lot of black female followers who care about my safety and care about my wellbeing. So, someone wrote an article for BuzzFeed about it, which basically helped promote my studio.

“Many people, men and women, sent me flowers and books of poetry including one by Maya Angelou. I just received so much love.”

Whatever the challenges she has faced in life, keeping fit has always been her way of working through issues.

“I’ve always been active and into sports”, she says. “Growing up, I played football and netball. It was stuff I didn’t have to try hard at, it was just a skill that I had.

“I had wanted to be head girl at school but my teacher thought I was too boisterous for that, so she said I could be sports captain instead.”

Her love of sport comes not just from her innate ability, but also from the discipline that it requires.

“When I was in secondary school I joined the air cadets. All I’ve ever yearned for, after not seeing it in the family home, is discipline. I like routine and structure.

“I think we were in year eight when we had a talk from the air cadets. And I thought, ‘Yeah, that’s it, I’m becoming an air cadet.’”

True to form she worked hard at it and for her, “the psychological part of the training gave me a break from being the one who did everything at home and having to be in control of everyone. I wanted and needed that break.”

Alongside fitness, her other passion is acting. It was a choice of career that her mother was dead set against.

“I can understand why,” she muses. “If you’re losing your home and don’t have a regular job, what you want for your children is a steady job. You want to know that they will never suffer or want for anything. Mum was like, ‘Just be a lawyer, you are such a great orator’.”

As a compromise, Kelechi found a course that would allow her to study both drama and law at Liverpool Hope University.

“I’d never been to Liverpool before,” she says, “but that’s the only place which was offering that degree.”

Coming back to London, she started working at a call centre and found it soul destroying.

“I remember going through London Bridge one day and just thinking, ‘There has to be something I can do where I’m not at the mercy of this corporation’. And I just thought, ‘I’ll become a personal trainer’. Fitness was the thing I loved most after acting.

“I saved up my money from my job, paid for a distance learning course and then I did lots of work experience in different gyms.”

Her business took off straightaway, courtesy of her followers on social media.

“When I did qualify, there were already women on Twitter and Instagram who were like, ‘Just come and train me’.

“So I went into that and that’s when I started to see the kind of freedom and flexibility that I could have access to without being at the mercy of big corporations.”

Her personal background means that she has a real desire to see women embrace who they truly are, not just physically but also emotionally and spiritually.

“What I really want for women to understand, especially when it comes to our bodies, is that we only have this one body,” she says.

“When I start training people, I want them to understand that there’s nothing I can do that’s going to make them more beautiful.

“I can get you slimmer if that’s what you really want. I can get you more toned, but none of these things are actually going to make you more beautiful, because it’s not really based on what you look like.

“[It’s about] getting my clients to understand that to me, personal training is 80 per cent psychological and emotional, and 20 per cent physical.

“You didn’t come to me because you care about your fitness, not really. There’s something else that’s happening there. What is that thing?

“If we talk about that ‘thing’, then the fitness doesn’t feel so bad. I’ve had women and men break down into tears when we’ve been having a session because I will say things like, ‘I just feel today that you’re holding a lot in’.

“I can feel it and then they let that out. And that’s what they needed. Then they feel safer because they know that I will spot it if they’re holding a lot that day and we taper the session to create space for them.”

She’s irritated by men who try to dominate in gyms. “I’ve had it myself when I’ll be training at the gym and a guy who clearly knows nothing about fitness comes up to me, just because I’m a woman, and says, ‘So when you’re doing this you really want to do it like this.’

“Wait, you’re telling me, the actual professional, how to do it?! And then they often have the temerity to say, ‘Don’t grow too much muscle though, because you don’t want to look like a man.’”

She dislikes the way Christmas and the new year are promoted to us commercially.

“It’s interesting to me how around Christmas time, the focus in adverts is on massive turkeys, chocolates etcetera, pushing a form of gluttony on us.

“Then as soon as January hits, it’s ‘You, disgusting fatty, get to the gym, get fit’, and I just think that we have to pull ourselves out of that. We are being sold one thing while being beaten with another. What does that do to your self esteem? We never know where we stand because companies were just telling us five minutes ago to eat all of the food!”

What’s on offer at her own gym is a way, according to her, of connecting women to the “divine feminine” through dance.

“With the twerking classes at the studio I wanted to celebrate my African-ness while still paying homage to the ways in which it has changed and how it’s now become linked with hip hop culture,” she says.

Also available at the Kelechnekoff studio are very popular classes in pole-dancing and also yoga, which she is particularly keen to make accessible to all, especially those on lower incomes.

She hopes in 2019 to include a few more aerial disciplines, such as aerial hoops and also Wing Chun defence classes. Primarily though, whether it’s a twerk hen party or a pole-dancing class, her dream is that the studio continues to be a fun place that celebrates all women.

On a personal level as we approach the new year, she’s living by her own mantra: “Don’t stop striving for that thing that makes your heart warm. You deserve it. You can achieve it.”

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voraginous-blog · 6 years

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==>Vriska: Visit Dave.

((Long log RP where Dave and Vriska talk about things and just be generally cute. @1neffabl3))

[10:21] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] arrives almost exactly fifteen minutes later, appearifying with a bag of sweets to go with their coffee. She looks frustrated and tired, but gives him a smirk anyway when she steps from the platform. --

[10:21] AG: I got snacks.

[10:22] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] turns quickly towards the platform when the transportalizer goes off, giving Vriska a small smile. Two coffee cups in his hands, he walks towards her from the kitchen gesturing one at her. --

[10:22] TG: i see. thank you. i forgot about the snack part. got two cups of coffee. you need cream in yours?

[10:23] AG: I'll drink it str8 this time. What did you want to talk a8out?

[10:24] TG: i just wanted to talk in person about the the stuff that we talked about. like the me being real thing, and the dirk thing, and everything pretty much. i just wanted to see you, too.

[10:25] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] takes her coffee with a heavy sigh, sipping it while eyeing him over the rim of the cup. --

[10:25] AG: It's not that deep.

[10:25] AG: None of it is.

[10:27] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] takes a sip as well, then another, exhaling nervously after swallowing the coffee. --

[10:27] TG: i know its not /that/ deep, but i still just wanted to talk about it. im curious. i know curiosity kills the cat, but satisfaction will bring it right back.

[10:27] TG: im the cat in this situation.

[10:27] TG: did you talk about this whole thing with sollux?

[10:28] AG: No. I only warned him like I warned you.

[10:30] TG: about whats going on in a day?

[10:34] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] brushes by him with a nod, her lips pursed when she glances back at him after sitting down on the nearer couch. --

[10:34] AG: Dave that's also not that deep.

[10:34] AG: Your 8rother is an asshole and he's messed with the wrong person. I don't want you thinking I'm trying to white knight you or something.

[10:35] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] purses his lips together in return, taking another sip of his coffee and leaning against the kitchen counter with his elbows. --

[10:36] TG: its a little deep. youre putting your life at risk here, you know? i think thats pretty deep.

[10:36] AG: It's not!

[10:36] TG: i dont think youre trying to white knight me. i just feel bad as us being together was the instigator for the fight happening, and part of me feels guilty. but i already mentioned that.

[10:38] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] scoffs at his wording, rolling her eyes over her coffee cup again. --

[10:38] AG: Now you're looking too deeply into it.

[10:40] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] rolls his eyes back at her, taking another long sip from his cup. He opens his mouth to reply, pauses, and shuts it, mulling over some thoughts in his head. --

[10:40] TG: how am i looking to deep into this?

[10:42] AG: He pro8a8ly.

[10:42] AG: Thinks that this will 8e some grand gesture of how humans are 8etter than us to 8egin with.

[10:43] AG: He's pro8a8ly just using you as an excuse so he doesn't look 8ad over it.

[10:43] AG: He o8viously h8s us, Dave.

[10:44] TG: i know he does. he makes it very clear whenever you guys deign to step on his toes about anything. i dont know why. hes ranted about it before but i never know what to say, or how to reply. i always have the words fall out of my throat when he talks about that kind of stuff.

[10:44] TG: if it was some grand gesture though, i dont think hed use me for it.

[10:48] AG: You think he's actually 8rave enough to just kill one of us to prove a point?

[10:52] TG: i dont think he would, but he might fuck one of us up real bad.

[10:56] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] crosses her legs, the cup resting in her hands against her thigh. The only sounds from her for a while are the quiet taps of her claws against the stoneware as she tries to keep it together. --

[10:56] AG: Dave I... listen. I really sincerely think he plans on just killing me outright and if he does, I pro8a8ly had it coming for taking his 88. 8ut if he does I really don't want you to do anything stupid.

[10:56] AG: You have to make sure Sollux doesn't.

[10:58] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] furrows his eyebrows with a long sigh and finishes the rest of his coffee, setting the empty mug on the counter with a soft 'clink' of ceramic on marble. He hesitates for a brief moment before walking over and sitting on the couch next to Vriska. --

[10:58] TG: i dont know if he has the guts to kill you outright, though. has it been determined if youre allowed to use your abilities?

[10:58] TG: i wont do anything stupid.

[10:58] TG: ill try to stop sollux, but i dont know if ill be able to.

[11:01] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] looks at him for a moment before dropping her gaze to the cup. --

[11:01] AG: I won't use my powers 8ecause I don't need to.

[11:01] AG: I already called him a coward for hiding 8ehind his god tier.

[11:02] TG: his god tier is probably the only reason he thinks he can take you at all.

[11:09] AG: I don't know.

[11:09] AG: I haven't even talked to Nepeta a8out it yet.

[11:10] TG: i think you should at least tell her its going to happen.

[11:10] TG: is it tomorrow?

[11:10] AG: I think the day after tomorrow, since it happened this morning in earth time.

[11:13] TG: then id tell nepeta tomorrow, if you can.

[11:13] TG: she needs to know.

[11:14] AG: I know.

[11:14] AG: 8ut I don't want her getting angry with me.

[11:15] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] shrugs, her lips pursed again. --

[11:16] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] shrugs at her shrug, putting his hands on his knees afterwards and fiddling with the fabric of his jeans. --

[11:16] TG: i think shed be more angry if you didnt tell her, or told her at the last minute.

[11:16] TG: i know that she probably doesnt want you to fight, but if you told her why she might be more understanding.

[11:18] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] scoffs again, softly. This time more to herself. He can't see the frown tugging at her lips through the curtain of her hair but it's deep and full of pain. --

[11:18] AG: How could he say things a8out you like that?

[11:18] AG: Do you even care?

[11:22] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] eyebrows furrow deeper at her question. It took him by surprise, that's for sure. He takes a few moments to collect his thoughts, his brain whirring at a mile a minute. --

[11:22] TG: i think at this point im just used to it, thats all. it doesnt even register until its too late, and im already upset.

[11:25] AG: Fight 8ack.

[11:25] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] speaks the words softly, almost nothing but a whisper. --

[11:29] TG: how? with words? with phsyical fighting?

[11:30] TG: im weak, vriska. dirk knows exactly what buttons to push to make me back off. i can try to fight back though ive just.

[11:30] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] pauses, closing his eyes thoughtfully. --

[11:30] TG: never thought about it.

[11:32] AG: You aren't weak, stupid.

[11:32] AG: Don't 8e a coward.

[11:32] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] looks up finally, glaring at him. --

[11:32] AG: I don't fall for cowards.

[11:36] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] falls silent at her words, eyes wide. --

[11:36] TG: fall for?

[11:39] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] clicks her tongue, standing suddenly. --

[11:39] AG: It's not that deep.

[11:39] TG: i know its not that deep but. just surprised.

[11:39] TG: i wont be a coward anymore.

[11:40] AG: Stand up to him then! Tell him you're pissed a8out what he said!

[11:41] TG: now?

[11:41] AG: Whenever.

[11:41] TG: soon.

[11:41] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] sighs. --

[11:42] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] looks over at Vriska with a worried look. He clasps his hands together and wrings them anxiously. --

[11:42] TG: i. in the morning.

[11:42] TG: i promise.

[11:42] AG: Don't do it for me. Do it for yourself.

[11:42] TG: im doing it for myself.

[11:43] TG: youve just given me the kick in the ass to do it.

[11:43] AG: Good!!!!!!!!

[11:43] TG: im. sorry.

[11:43] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] sighs. --

[11:45] AG: For what now?

[11:45] TG: im sorry for being like this tonight. i dont mean to be like this. im nervous about confronting him (as i always am), im nervous for YOU, im nervous about a lot of things. i just. can you stay the night tonight? you dont have to if you have things to do.

[11:49] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] blinks, her arms crossing under her chest. --

[11:49] AG: If you want me to I will. For as long as I can at least.

[11:50] TG: i do want you to. thats why i asked, silly.

[11:50] TG: you dont mind?

[11:50] AG: Nah. It 8eats sitting around in my quarters stewing all light.

[11:50] AG: Just.

[11:50] TG: you can instead stew here, with me.

[11:50] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] looks him in the eyes with a steady gaze. --

[11:51] AG: Don't read into it too much, okay?

[11:51] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] returns her stare, nodding at her request. --

[11:51] TG: i wont read into it at all. pinky promise.

[11:52] AG: Okay good. I wouldn't want you getting too attached right 8efore I might not 8e around anymore.

[11:53] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] smiles slightly, moving to sit right beside him. --

[11:53] TG: i mean, it might be too late for that, considering im asking you to stay and keep me company, but dont read into that too much, alright?

[11:53] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] returns her smile with one of his own, reaching up and freeing his hair from his ponytail, shaking it free. --

[11:58] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] chuckles softly, leaning over to wrap her arms around him tightly. --

[11:58] AG: I hope it isn't too l8.

[11:58] TG: too l8 for what?

[11:58] AG: Attachment.

[12:00] TG: i hope its not either.

[12:00] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] tentatively places a tiny kiss on her forehead. very tentatively! --

[12:01] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] glances up at him, a sincere smile stretched across her lips. He should consider himself lucky, being one of three people to have ever seen it. --

[12:05] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] smiles back when her smile stretches across her face. She looks absolutely radiant. His cheeks are tinted a subtle red in the dim light of his apartment. He places another kiss on her forehead, firmer this time. --

[12:09] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] laughs softly, reaching up to poke his nose. --

[12:09] AG: 8y the way.

[12:09] AG: You're too warm.

[12:14] TG: you like how warm i am. im like a sexy version of a hot water bottle.

[12:14] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] kisses the tip of her nose at her poking his! --

[12:19] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] rolls her eyes, shoving him away without much force behind it. --

[12:19] AG: Don't get ahead of yourself.

[12:20] TG: ahead of myself how! why are you booing me. im right! im the sexiest water bottle youll ever meet.

[12:20] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] winks! --

[12:20] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] scoffs loudly, throwing herself against the couch with a groan. --

[12:20] AG: Oh gr8, now he's putting on airs.

[12:21] TG: me? put on airs? how very unexpected! theres an impostor in the house.

[12:22] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] continues winking before breaking off into a fit of laughter. --

[12:27] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] groans as she slides off the couch onto the floor, acting as if she's dying from his antics. --

[12:27] AG: Gross, you're too much. I take it 8ack I'm going 8ack to the ship.

[12:27] TG: no you arent. my antics are just enough for you. this is the perfect primetime entertainment to fill up your night.

[12:28] AG: Oh no, I'm getting up as soon as I can gather the strength to go.

[12:28] TG: the strength?

[12:30] AG: I'm dying.

[12:30] TG: of?

[12:31] AG: Em8arrassment.

[12:31] TG: embarrassed? of what? how charming and wonderful and cool i am?

[12:31] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] slides down from the couch next to Vriska, running his hand through his hair with a smile. --

[12:32] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] pouts at him. --

[12:32] AG: You keep saying words I just can't quite understand.

[12:33] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] sneaks a quick kiss on her cheek. --

[12:34] TG: what words would you understand to convey how cool i am?

[12:36] AG: Ones usually starting with an N and ending in erd.

[12:37] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] plants her hand on his face, pushing him away gently. --

[12:37] TG: you cant trick me. that just means nerd!

[12:38] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] pushes him even farther. --

[12:38] AG: Exactly.

[12:39] TG: hey.

[12:39] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] blinks in surprise. --

[12:39] TG: did i say something wrong?

[12:47] AG: No you're just 8eing a huge nerd.

[12:48] TG: YOURE being a huge nerd. its huge nerd city right now, population us.

[12:48] AG: I shouldn't have 8een counted in this census.

[12:49] TG: you did because youre just as big a nerd as i am, if not bigger. our nerd auras rival each other in strength every day.

[12:50] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] groans again, hiding her face in her hands. --

[12:50] AG: Em8arrassing...

[12:52] TG: it isnt. no need to be embarrassed. youre among friends and fellow nerds.

[12:53] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] extends a hand out for her to take, if she'd like. --

[12:54] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] grumbles, taking it with a devious expression playing around her lips. --

[12:55] AG: Well if you say so.

[12:56] TG: whats that look for?

[12:56] AG: What look?

[12:56] TG: that look!

[12:57] AG: This is my regular face.

[12:58] TG: your regular face isnt as devious as this one.

[12:58] AG: So you say.

[12:59] TG: i do say! what are you planning, vriska?

[12:59] AG: Nothing!

[12:59] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] stands up, brushing herself off. --

[12:59] AG: Why do you think I have something planned?

[12:59] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] shrugs, looking up at her from his spot on the floor. --

[01:00] TG: a devious face usually means a plan, but i could be wrong.

[01:01] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] blows him a kiss. --

[01:01] AG: It might.

[01:01] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] blows her a kiss back with a smile. --

[01:01] TG: give me a hint?

[01:03] AG: Nope!

[01:03] TG: vriska! 8(

[01:03] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] stands up quickly, crossing his arms with a pout. --

[01:04] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] shrugs, turning away with a flip of her hair. --

[01:04] AG: You'll find out when you're older.

[01:04] TG: im plenty old, vriska. arent we about the same age?

[01:04] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] pauses. --

[01:05] TG: are you really leaving?

[01:05] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] glances over her shoulder, frowning a little. --

[01:05] AG: No I'm not.

[01:05] AG: 8ut I'm tired.

[01:06] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] nods, biting his lip, before gesturing to the bedroom. --

[01:06] TG: you can always go to bed, if youd like. i dont know if you use beds? some trolls do, right?

[01:06] AG: I do.

[01:07] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] offers her hand with sarcastic daintiness. --

[01:07] AG: Lead the way, sir knight.

[01:07] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] smiles and gently takes her hand, leading her towards the very soft, plush bed in the middle of his bedroom. A few candles are flickering on his bedside table. --

[01:08] TG: here you are, my thief.

[01:08] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] snorts, throwing herself into the bed without much thought. --

[01:08] AG: Ah sleep.

[01:08] TG: you want me to go to bed with you now or slide in when youre asleep? i can write until i hear snoring.

[01:09] AG: I don't snore!!!!!!!!

[01:09] AG: Do what you want, asshat.

[01:09] TG: you definitely snore. 8;)

[01:09] AG: I do not.

[01:09] TG: prove it! im the only one thats able to hear it right now, and boy, do i definitely hear it.

[01:09] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] smiles! --

[01:10] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] rolls her eyes, burying her face in a pillow as she flips him the bird. --

[01:11] AG: I don't snore 8ut you sure do!

[01:20] TG: proof! i need solid proof of this!

[01:21] AG: Oh no I just know you do. It's pretty 8ad.

[01:27] TG: i can 100% guarentee that mine is much more palatable than yours. youre sawing wood all night long, vriska.

[01:27] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] smiles, his tone teasing. --

[01:29] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] clicks her tongue, shaking her head against the pillow. --

[01:29] AG: You wound me.

[01:30] TG: im just teasing. we both snore at the same volume.

[01:30] AG: Or may8e neither of us snore.

[01:31] TG: hm. that could be the case, but then my teasing would have no weight!

[01:32] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] sits down on the bed with a soft sigh, running a hand through his hair. --

[01:32] TG: its sleep time for the both of us, i think.

[01:38] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] nods, glancing up at him. --

[01:38] AG: Good idea.

[01:39] TG: im full of them.

[01:39] AG: De88a8le.

[01:39] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] smiles lazily, mussing his hair with a yawn before leaning over and giving her a cheek kiss. --

[01:39] TG: no de88 here. just facts.

[01:39] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] turns her head at the last moment to make it a kiss kiss, and then smirks. --

[01:40] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] blushes! --

[01:40] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] pats the bed. --

[01:40] AG: Come on, I'm tired.

[01:41] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] nods, wiggling out of his shirt and pants to slide on a pair of pj pants, before sliding under the covers next to Vriska. --

[01:41] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] wiggles over to rest against his chest. --

[01:41] AG: Goodnight Dave.

[01:41] TG: goodnight vriska. leave me a note if you leave before i wake up.

[01:43] AG: I will.

[01:43] TG: thank you. sleep good.

[01:44] -- aquarelleGrandiloquence [AG] closes her eyes, dozing almost instantly. --

[01:44] AG: I will...

[01:44] -- tactileGrandiloquence [TG] smiles softly, giving the crown of her head a soft sleep before passing out himself. --

#Plot.#Mentioned:#1neffabl3 #Logs.#long post //

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ministryofgamers · 6 years

Text

The FIX - Bren

I’ve been doing YouTube for a LONG time now, well 8 years certainly sounds like a long time to me.. but eerily doesn’t feel like a long time. We’ve been through so many changes and trails, trying different things, making movies, TV shows, Interviews, Press events... you name it, as a content creator for the video game community I’ve made it. I’ve always wanted to be a successful youtuber when it came to video-games, these days that usually means you have to figure out a silly name and play lots of games and make a fool of yourself (and yeah i’ve done that too). A youtube star is someone that has millions of followers, uploads daily, sometimes twice daily, but I have none of those things... does that mean i’m not successful? I dont’ think so. I’ve conducted interviews with lead game designers, been to top tier invite only press functions, had 2 shows on UK TV for video games, a movie, and run an active community driven youtube channel that has a great gathering of awesome people. So why is it that I feel like I’ve failed somehow? is it because I didn’t find the right audience? is it because I didn’t get launched to super stardom for my time as a games journalist... would I even want that if it came knocking... i’m not even sure I would like it to be honest. It's strange, I've always felt like I’ve wanted to be successful in making video content, films, art, always wanted to entertain and make something that would make someone say “wow” and I have done that, but on a small scale.

Now on Youtube I see things are very different, attention spans are miniscule, kids are starting channels left right and centre, no knowledge of how to frame a good shot, how to use a decent microphone, no knowledge on how to make a proper video... vertical videos of cats being dicks, fail videos, pranks, challenges, all of that stuff to me is benine crap, redundant. I feel the same about reality TV and how most formats prey on schadenfreude( german phrase meaning "to take pleasure in anothers missfortune") I find it nausiating that television, for the most part, has become so mundane, fuelled by adverts and les than average production values. I recently watched a shocking piece of output form the BBC where they seem to have forgotten that sound levels are important... as well as whitebalance and did the OP forget his tripod? Hand held is ok, but this chap looked like he'd had a bit too much rum in his coffee that morning.

Anyway, back to Youtube. I'm a part of a few "small youtuber" groups on facebook, basically if you don't have 500,000 subs these days you are considered to be pretty small time. And in these groups I see thousands of the same posts everyday "yay i got 20 subs" or "how many views do i need before i can monetize." and the best one "sub for sub anyone?" honestly pretty much everyone on those groups that i've looked at (except one or two) literally have no fucking idea what they are doing and couldn't make a video if it meant saving their own life. Time and time again I see the same shit, constantly. It honestly makes me Wince at the thought that these kids are about to embark on the most dissapointing crusade of thier lives. I started youtube in 2009 and it was a bloody good time to do so as there were pretty much no such thing as lets plays or video game shows etc... we had an amazing show, 4 presenters, heavily edited reviews, sketches, comedy! And best of all we were in with the big boys, interviewing people I never thought i'd ever get to meet! "But Bren, why didn't you just keep going with that?" Well, thats a whole different story and i'll just sum it up by saying there were differences of opinion and it fell apart.

Starting GameGazmTV was very freeing... I had decided that I needed a platform where I didn't care too much about what content I put on it... I had boxed up my camera equipment and used a phone to film most of the stuff for it... we slapped half naked manga girls all over it with flames and rock music in the hope that we would offend someone enough to just come and look at the channel... even the name "GameGazm" was fucking ridiculous. It wasn't long before we started to slowly change everything. Removing the semi naked girls, and some "dead weight" and started to clean up the brand... but it didn't do anything really.. I started to slip back into the "everything must be good" routine, so started heavily editing videos again, making bigger productions, adding more visual effects to everything... graphical updates, weekly updates, started doing let's plays for more content, live streams... then by year 4 we changed the name fully to Ministry of Gamers in the hope of finally shedding the GameGazm crappy beginnings. And now I've suddenly realised... that I hate most of it... I look back at a lot of our content and pretty much 90% of it I could throw in the bin and no one would bat an eyelid. The content I love the most on our channel is 2 videos... Solstice and Top Gun. 2 videos that I think are actually really worth watching... the rest of them i'm not that bothered about... but solstice and top gun both took 6 weeks each to make... thats a lot of time... and then the most successful video on our channel is a video about a fucking controller that we shot in an hour because we thought "why not" I couldn't give a crap about that controller... but its the only video that i've spent the least amount of time on and its the most successfull thing ive ever made.... talk about a kick in the teeth... thats some way to really get yourself down.

Up until this point if you asked me is YouTube worth doing, should I start a channel? I would have said " yeah its really fun to do, and totally worth it." but ask me right now? i'd say "no... don't do it.. its really not worth the stress you'll put yourself through, its not worth seeing comments like "shut up and stop reviewing games you fat cunt." on a video that you spent DAYS writing, recording, editing. Its not worth making any video that takes you longer than an hour to do, because honestly... your effort is the last thing youtube gives a crap about." Youtube does not care if you stayed up for a week straight slaving over an edit, making sure your colours are good, sound is balanced, Youtube doesn't care if you spent days crafting a CGI intro for your channel, making custom graphics, building a brand! It DOESN'T CARE... but make a controller video, slap it up, and youtube will give you £300 and a pat on the head..... great... just film your cat doing something retarded and you'll be a millionaire in no time. don't worry about talent... its not required here.

Basically youtube isn't the kind of platform I would like to be on. But not being on Youtube is like saying "I don't want to be on the biggest viewing platform available." throughout my video carrer I've only ever really been interested in making content about videogames. It's my passion so what else would I do? I have a couple of thoughts about other avenues I could explore. But if I really cared about them then I would have been doing it already. No I still care about making content for videogames but now its time to change the focus... change the direction because something has to change... i'm no longer going to use youtube as a platform to give content thats about something else.. i'm going to make it about ME and my team as people, its not a show anymore. I want it to document OUR struggle, OUR journey through a project, how we as people are focused on making entertainment. Youtube doesn't need another gaming channel, it needs to hear about how crushingly difficult it is to get anywhere with content creation, and thats where I want to be now. I'll be working on something I really care about, and i'll provide updates to that on youtube.

I can't keep going the way I have been, a constant viscious circle of dissapointment and failiure, over and over. I'm done trying to fill a gap that just doesn't need to be filled. There are other ways I can use my time and thats the most precious thing to all of us.. becasue there really isnt' that much of it.

Why have I written this? I guess to just put it all down somehwere other than my head.. the more I write at the moment the more I feel it leaving me.. literally like ive turned a tap on and the water was filthy and its slowly starting to clear up. My main point to all of this though was to fully understand why i'm so successful at failing, I make incredible work that never gets anywhere and no one really cares that much about, but its still MY work, and even if only one person sees it and is entertained by it, then to me, i've won. So in closing, I am a youtuber, and a fucking successful one. And no one really knows it...... yet, and of course i'll never give up, I firmly believe I have something to offer a wide audience, i'm not quite sure what that is yet, but I feel like its my mission to figure it out, I owe it to myself to keep trying! and always give my best. Take pride in what you do, and if you believe in something enough, you will get it... after a long bitter road of absolute mental turmoil.... you'll get it.

Bren.

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lebilliam · 7 years

Text

Hey sirmcartney asked me to do this

I’d rather be doing this over my school ish anyways :’)

Ask me some questions!

3 Fears: Ghosts :((( , fat insects , failing stuff

3 things I love: i fukin love talking to my friends and hanging out , listening to music that i havent heard in forever, and that post workout glow

2 turns on: i can send them memes :) , i can laugh and not give a heck with them

2 turns off: i cant send them memes :( , being mean to me (im sensitive af)

My best friend: zoo wee this is a hard one but id prob say logan or brian or adam or morgan or alex. take ur pick. (morgan and logan tbh)

Sexual orientation: str8

How tall am I: 5′9″ according to my ID

What do I miss right now: intimacy

Favourite color: orange!!!!!

Do I have a crush: ;)

Favourite place: currently ive been digging the imagination room

What am I listening to right now: affection // Cigarettes After Sex

Shoe size: it varies on the brand but normally 9.5 or 10? idk im bad

Eye color: brown

Hair color: black

Meaning behind my URL: its bc i wanted a recognizable alias that i could use across platforms

Favourite song: i always say liztomania by phoenix

Favourite band: Maroon 5 fanboy here but ive been a fan of Cigarettes after Sex for a while now

How I feel right now: STRESSED and ANGERY

Someone I love: myself (kinda)

My current relationship status:

My relationship with my parents: we dont really talk that much but good i think?

Favourite season: oof i like the heat but im gonna say winter bc i get to be emo and i can go walk on fresh snow

Tattoos and piercing i have: none atm

Tattoos and piercing i want: hmmm idk if i want anything big but i always thought the track shoe/wing thing would be nice

The reasons I joined Tumblr: all my friends had it so i thought i would be cool if i made one

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: i have gotten some before and i appreciate them

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?: the last person i texted? surprisingly no

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: depends if i shower but i can get going in ~4-5 minutes

Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?: nope!

Where am I right now?: imagination room!

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? hell yea who doesnt

Do I live with my Mom and Dad? not atm im chillin #dormlife

Am I excited for anything?: excited for the weekend

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? hell to the yea of course

How often do I wear a fake smile?: everytime i feel weird around people idk usually i wouldnt say i smile that much unless im gooning

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: I believe that the world will introduce me to people when i need it (lame answer: idk anyone but maybe like my friends’ friends)

What do I think about most? this week it’s been the french essay i had to write but overall i think about being appreciated

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? id be on both sides if i could but if i had to pick one id totally be in front

What was the last lie I told? oh haha i dont know (but i do know)

Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? PHONE CALLS

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Hell yea what else am i supposed to be afraid of. aliens are super cool man of course i think theyre real

Do I believe in magic? NOPE! but theres been some crazy magic tricks where i almost believe but then i see the “how it’s done” video for it

Do I believe in luck? hell yea of course! why would it not exist?

What’s the weather like right now? ughgh it’s disappointingly hot

What was the last book I’ve read? Huis Clos by Jean Paul Sartre (i had to read it for class but it really is a great work of art)

Do I have any nicknames? B, Lil B(ones i have heard the most) Billiam, Broletariate Biu (my mom calls me that), (billy bear is an old one and i dont know why they ever used it in the first place), goomph, toad, frog, ugly ass, nerd, dork, dingus

Do I spend money or save it? i spend it haha kms i really need to save more efficiently

Can I touch my nose with a tounge?: nope just tried and looked like a fool

Favourite animal? oof i want to say dogs but thats basic but dogs are so loving like i dont get it how do they do it

What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: i was up and i was emo. jk i was hanging out and watching bad Freshman xxl cyphers

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Get Low by lil Jon or Faded (the remix) or change your mind by the killers. im gonna go ahead and say that change your mind gets my shit hyped UP

What is my favorite word? satiation

My top 5 blogs on tumblr: idk if im going to be honest i dont really use tumblr that much for personal blogs but i do love foodporn, til, ruined childhood

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? love each other.

Do I have any relatives in jail? i dont think so? oh jk theyre not really a relative but they’re a close family friend’s relative

What is my current desktop picture? FUKIN FUNCTIONAL GROUPS THAT I DONT EVER KNOW OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD EVEN THOUGH THERES A TEST IN 10.25 HOURS

Had sex? ye

Bought condoms? ye

Gotten pregnant? cant really say that i have :p

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? yes

Had job? yep! summer job at the zoo which was cool af

Smoked weed? once or twice

Smoked cigarettes? never.nope.disgusting

Drank alcohol? yes

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? i tried being vegetarian for a bit but then i wasnt eating enough red meat

Been overweight? as a kid i feel like i was overly big but now that i think about it i dont think i was fat

Been underweight? definitely

Gotten my heart broken? homeboy who hasnt?

Been to prom? yeep

Been in airplane? yeep

Learned another language? heck yes! english kek and im in the process of learning french. i tried learning lithuanian after a life changing experience.

Wore make up? surprisingly no

Dyed my hair? nope! i dont want to bleach my hair

Had a surgery? uhhh does laser surgery count? bc ive had 3 so far and i might have more

Met someone famous? every time i walk by a mirror ;) jk i met the senator of WA and the mayor of Tacoma a couple times

Stalked someone on a social network? pfft hell yes

Been fishing? yep! it’s always an experience

Been rejected by a crush? rip me yes

What do I want for birthday? i want to have a nice get together with friends where we do stuff that i dont have to pay for (but i dont think thats how life works anymore)

Do I like my handwriting? I love it in pen and when i hit my ecrivain stride, but otherwise when my hands get sweaty its just a fkin mess

Where do I want to live when older? i’ve always said paris, but zaragoza spain wouldnt be too bad!

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? yea boi

What I’m really bad at: believing in myself

What my greatest achievments are: i was a smart kid in elementary! i got some awards for getting good grades and i went to a competitive thing for piano once and i placed a couple times in some random races ive run

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: oof i dont want to really relive that experience

What I’d do if I won in a lottery: id ask /r/personalfinance

What do I like about myself: id like to think im gaining/losing healthy weight

My closest Tumblr friend: on tumblr?? idk i said i dont really use tumblr for friends but i’d probably say memequeen or sirmccartney

Any question you’d like? when am i going to meet up with my RA? no one knows idk i forgot about our meeting and hes really cool about rescheduling so i might do it this saturday

Are you outgoing or shy? it really depends on how im feeling but id like to think im pretty outgoing!

What kind of people are you attracted to? NICE FRIENDly people who can laugh. laughing is important to me

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? personally i think yes

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? nope!

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? @thoseloverseyes most def

What does the most recent text that you sent say? “haha and then what ;)” jk it says” thank”

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? boy oh boy am i not ready for this question. Id think “this love, maroon 5″, humble (its a bop), “the air that i breathe, “open - rhye”, and rollin by calvin harris or this house by japaense breakfast idk the last one always changes

Do you like it when people play with your hair? i had a weird experience once but idk i think im willing to let other people touch my hair? not a fan

Do you think there is life on other planets?of course. this topic is not up for debate. just bc our defition of life has not been found that does not mean that there is not life in other places where we are either 1) not looking or 2) life that we cant recognize due to our weird weird obsession with water like life does not have to use water as a conduit for essential functions

well that was fun and id say it took some time. it def got me feeling better about life. 7.8/10 i would do it again but im sweaty af from this hot ass room

peace!

#personal

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generouslyteenagealpaca-blog · 6 years

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Repayment of my health insurance premiums?

"Repayment of my health insurance premiums?

I received a letter in the mail a week ago, and can't locate it now. It was explaining as to how there is a government program in place to reinburse for health insurance premiums paid if someone in your household gets NC Medicaid? Anyone know about this as for the life of me I can't put my hands on the letter. Any insight would be helpful. Thanks.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecosts.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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My friend drives a '98 Mercury right now. She's been into four accidents (three of them were caused by her), is one point away from getting her license taken away, and got a DUI last summer. Consequently, when she got her car back, she tried to get it insured only to find out her insurance premium for NO FAULT is almost a thousand a month. That's for a standard insurance company. She went to a small rinky-dink company for a lower quote and got a lower quote but I'm not quite sure what that quote was. Since she can't afford to pay that much in insurance, she (stupidly) has decided to get fake insurance proofs that she thinks will get passed secretary of state so she can renew her tags. I told her she needs to have real insurance or she could get into lots of trouble (not to mention end up owing tens of thousands of dollars if she crashes). She didn't listen to my advice and went with the fake insurance proofs which did NOT get passed secretary of state; her new plan is to pay for one months insurance and then stop paying for the next few years until her insurance goes down. She told me the other day that she wants to buy a BMW by the time she's 22. That means in one and a half years. Not only will her insurance still be high, but it will probably be even higher since she will have gone two years without it. So, considering the facts I've given you and that she has to pay almost a grand a month for no fault on an older Mercury, how much more do you think she will be paying for FULL coverage on a BMW?""

My license was suspended and I want to buy a new car. Will my insurance company still let me keep my policy?

I have had my license suspended due to accumulating 12 pts on my driving record (maryland). I did however get permission to drive to work. I have been planning to buy a new car now and I really don't want this to prevent that. However, my insurance rates haven't gone up due to the suspended license atleast yet. If I buy a new car, other than the type of coverage, will my insurance go up because of the suspended license or will that even still keep me on the policy. Any help will be great.""

Average cost of bmw car insurance for over 50's?

Just trying to get a rough idea of how much the insurance would be for a 320d auto diesel BMW. I don't really want to waste ages going through the compare.com sites. Thank you in advance for your help.

How much do you pay for motorcycle insurance ?

how much do you pay for motorcycle insurance in canada ,for a 300 cc motor . like the kawasaki ninja 300 2013 .""

Can my husband remove me from our car insurance policy?

Hello, My husband left 2 months ago. We have a car insurance policy together with all 3 vechiles on it. He called me yesterday to inform me that he is removing me from our policy. Can he take me off the car insurance policy as we are still married and the policy is in both our names? I am calling the insurance company Monday morning but I would just like to know for sure as everyone that I have spoken with said he can not do this. Thanks!""

Car insurance for teen help?

So am buying a car and my parents don't have a driver license But i Do But i am only 17 which makes the insurance a lot . So my moms friend said he would put me under his insurance but he isn't Driving but he has a valid new your license . So is there a way for me to be under his insurance with the title of the car in my name ? or does it have to be in his name does he add me to the policy as a Additional driver & The car Or just me alone and not the car ? what would happen if i get pulled over and the title is in his name ?

Repayment of my health insurance premiums?

Car insurance for a 21 yr old?

I am a 21 year old male and I plan on buying a brand new car at the end of the year. does anyone know of a car insurance with full coverage that will charge me just a leg instead of ...show more

How do Life Insurance companies make money?

If you get a 500,000 dollar policy pay 250 a month that would take 2000 years for them to make the money back. How do they make more money then they put out?""

Which insurance is cheaper for 19 years old person?

is it state farm(the one i have now) or geico. or please tell me what is the cheapest insurance company?

""How can i insurance my car, for only 3 months?

im finishing my college... i bought a car in us... for the year i was here... bour my car insurance expire.. like 2 months before i finish... and im not gonna buy other 6 months of insurance... cause i will be using it only 2 months more... WHAT I CAN DO!!

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I have never had insurance in my name before (my parents had me under their insurance within the past 6 months, but I am now not insured, nor driving a vehicle). I am interested in buying a car from a buy here, pay here lot and I don't quite understand how it works as far as insuring the vehicle off of the lot goes. I was told that the dealer would give me a few options of insurance (usually crappy) and I would use that insurance for the drive home, and subsequently get my own insurance. This is so ridiculous to me, to pay for insurance twice?! I just want to know the legal & affordable & practical way of insuring this vehicle. Is it not possible to be at the dealership, buy the car, get insurance over the phone while still on the lot, and then drive it home? Because I realize that the dealer will not let you drive it off of the lot if you don't have insurance. Also, how will they know I have the insurance? Since I currently do not have any, I won't have an insurance card or anything material to provide as proof... will they accept an over-the-phone affirmation by the insurance company as proof?""

Lying on car insurance to police when stopped?

if a person lied about the age on a car insurance policy and stopped by the police ..what would happen i understand if someone were to do this that they could not claim if crashed and would probely lead to criminal charges.

How to insure my used car auto dealership?

I just founded my own used car dealership and I was wondering what kind of insurance I need to cover it. I understand that I will need general liability of course, but I also heard a lot about blanket coverages. If anyone can help if you can give me just an overview of what kind of insurance I need I would highly appreciate it. And also what are some carriers that would insure me? Thanks!""

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I called rent a wreck and they said in order for me to rent a car I need car insurance?

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Anyone know of an insurance company that can give really cheap quotes for teenagers. UK Based

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Ok so u just got my learners permit today and my mom said she's pretty sure I don't need car insurance that I'm automatically covered since I'm a minor and can only drive in the car when they are in it so am I covered I live in Tampa Florida if that matters I just want to start driving immediately but dad says I need to make sure I'm under his policy so I can drive

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how much would insurance cost for a 16 year old buy. like on average?

Would this affect my car insurance?

Would having Grand Theft Auto on my record increase my insurance, or would it do anything at all? Its a really long story. I know my insurance is going to be high anyway because I am 17 and a guy. I was just wondering if having a Grand Theft Auto charge would affect it at all? Thanks!""

""Car insurance, 16 year old, oh no.?""

I'm 16, I have a 92 Nissan 300zx Twin Turbo, what can i expect to pay for insurance on state minimum?""

Does anyone know where I can find auto insurance to cover car parts?

I need new tires and brakes, and rather than paying for them I want to get insurance so all I'll have to pay is the deductible. Please help. Thanks.""

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What do u think the cost of insurance for a mazda rx-8 would cost or a sports car similar to that (cars with a big bonnet like mazda rx-8). This would be for a 17 year old. Please help

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I keep getting the gut feeling that I need to get life insurance for my parents. Is that possible? If so, which company is the best?""

Auto insurance limits of liability ?

How high should I reasonably set my liability limits. From what I can tell my current Auto policy limits are $25k and $50k. That seems a bit low to me. My friend said he has $100k and $300k. What do you suggest. We are an average income family, and currently drive and Escalade ESV, and a G35 coupe(Nothing like living beyond your means, you only get one shot at this thing right?).""

Can I sue my auto insurance company?

i Switch insurance companies back in Feb. of this year. The new insurance company never filed the paperwork with the DVM. As a result my car was impounded because it said that i wasn't insured. However every month auto insurance was being taken out of my account as an EFT. Now i need a rental, lose a day of work to go to traffic court, and i don't have a car for the weekend. I am being inconvenienced for no fault of my own.""

What companies do not offer employees health insurance?

I was wondering what kind of companies do not give their employees health insurance, besides temp agencies? Thanks""

Our insurance is trying to screw us. What can I do?

Our roof got hail damage but our insurance adjuster and my contractor differ on how much damage there is. The adjuster went as far as saying someone made extra damage on the roof and that our contractor is just trying to help us get our deductible. Are there any legal ramifications for him saying that?

What should I expect in car insurance?

Right now, I am seriously considering sharing a car with my boyfriend, so the insurance is lower than it would be for two cars. He is perfectly okay with the idea, but I would still like a truck to haul my horse (his Taurus SE can't do that long distance) for when I move, so it would be more convenient for me to have my own vehicle. I am a 17 year old female. My grades are a B average. I don't have a credit score, i pay with cash or my debit card. I want a truck (preferably an old cheap one that runs). I've heard insurance can be higher if you have a red vehicle, so I am going to avoid that. What else do you need to know to estimate my insurance? Thanks.""

Why is the insurance on my 1982-83 2.5L landie cheeper than my 0.9L corsa W reg?

i just dont see how the insurance on any landie could be cheaper than a corsa, especially as it is my first year driving, does anyone know why this could be?????""

""6008 insurance quote for hyundai getz 1.1, what am i doin wrong?""

im a 17 year old male, who lives in a nice area with little crime, it will be kept on the drive, im offering 500 excess, third part only, i cant belive this price from go-compare, and this was the cheapest quote, what else can i try, ive tried putting my mum on as a named driver, but it only lowers it by about 100.""

Repayment of my health insurance premiums?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/who-insures-insurance-companies-michael-barry/"

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kidsviral-blog · 6 years

Text

Inside The Chilling Online World Of The Women Of ISIS

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/inside-the-chilling-online-world-of-the-women-of-isis/

Inside The Chilling Online World Of The Women Of ISIS

Conversations between young women who claim to be ISIS members living in Syria provide a disturbing insight into the everyday lives of female militants.

update

The Facebook profiles embedded in the original version of this story have been deactivated and replaced with screenshots of the pages. “All of those pages have been removed as they violate our standards, which don’t permit terrorist groups to use our site,” Facebook communications manager Andrew Souvall confirmed. BF_STATIC.timequeue.push(function () document.getElementById(“update_article_update_time_3795746”).innerHTML = UI.dateFormat.get_formatted_date(‘2014-09-12 12:12:32 -0500’, ‘update’); );

2. Twenty-year-old Aqsa Mahmood recently made headlines around the world when her parents revealed that she had run away from her home in Scotland and traveled to Syria to join the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) and marry a militant.

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Courtesy Mahmood Family

3. Like many young women, Mahmood has several social media profiles, including a Tumblr page (which she has been updating regularly from Syria) under the name Umm Layth.

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fa-tubalilghuraba.tumblr.com

4. A look at her blog’s archive reveals her intense interest in Islam and apparent desire to become a jihadi. It also shows communications with other like-minded women, such as the one below, which was posted before Mahmood left her home in November 2013.

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fa-tubalilghuraba.tumblr.com / Via Image posted October 28, 2013.

5. Mahmood’s first Twitter account, @UmmLayth_, has been deactivated, but since November 18, 2013, she has been tagged in images and posts by other young men and women who claim to be living in Syria.

My sisters @UmmLayth_ Umm Haritha & Umm Ubaydiah ♡ (@Al_Khanssaa)May Allah unite us soon

— _UmmWaqqas (@ام وقاص)

6. The women refer to immigrating to the “Islamic state” as “hijrah,” or pilgrimage. Posts on Twitter indicate that she planned the journey with other young women she met online.

My sisters. We made hijrah together, May Allāh grant us shahada together & unite us in Jannah @UmmLayth_ @bintladen1

— Al_Khanssaa (@أم عبيدة)

7. In Syria, Mahmood began updating her blog with descriptions of her life as a member of ISIS. In April 2014, she posted that she had set up a new Twitter account.

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fa-tubalilghuraba.tumblr.com

8. The account and its interactions indicate that it’s likely being run by an English-speaking young woman living in Syria.

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Twitter: @AlBrittaniyah

9. Tumblr posts and tweets indicate that Mahmood has married a “mujahid”, the word ISIS fighters use for themselves.

Only after becoming the wife of a Mujahid do you realise why there is so much reward in this action.

— AlBrittaniyah (@.)

10. (Mahmood’s parents have confirmed that she is now married.)

Once you make Hijrah feesabeelilah then your Husband is your only family, and to be able to sacrifice that is always easier said than done.

— AlBrittaniyah (@.)

11. An examination of the accounts followed by Mahmood’s purported pages reveal communications with many other young women who claim to be ISIS members living in Syria.

Next to one of the street art with @AlBrittaniyah and umm haritha.

— Al_Khanssaa (@أم عبيدة)

12. A Facebook search of the usernames followed by Mahmood’s account yields similar results. The women of ISIS appear to have established networks across social media platforms, which they use to connect with one another and recruit other women.

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Facebook: Muslim-Women-In-Jihad

13. Some use Ask.fm to answer questions about the process of traveling to Syria to join the insurgency.

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ask.fm / Via Google Cache: this account has been deleted.

14. The instant messaging app KiK is how these women communicate with those seriously considering making the journey.

Wallah one of the things most loved to me is when a sister sincerely kiks me because she wants me to help her make hijrah.

— Al_Khanssaa (@أم عبيدة)

15. Interested parties are directed to online guides with step-by-step instructions on how to get to ISIS-controlled territory — including advice on how to deceive Turkish customs agents.

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paladinofjihad.tumblr.com

16. On multiple platforms, the women of ISIS offer advice and encouragement to those debating joining the group.

sisters who are coming dont take your eyes of ur luggage or u’ll never see it again. keep it with u so I don’t have to tell u #itoldyouso

— bintladen1 (@Jihadi Jane)

17. This online support is necessary, since some women make the journey without their family’s permission. In a blog post, Mahmood explains how to deal with familial pressure.

The first phone call you make once you cross the borders is one of the most difficult things you will ever have to do. Your parents are already worried enough over where you are, wether you are okay and what’s happened. How does a parent who has little Islamic knowledge and understanding comprehend why their son or daughter has left their well off life, education and a bright future behind to go live in a war torn country. Most likely they will blame themselves, they will think they have done something. But until they truly understand from the bottom of their heart that you have done this action sincerely for Allah’s sake they will live in hope that you will return. They might assume this is a â€˜phase’ you are going through or a huge mistake you have made. I know of people who have been here in Shaam for over 2 years and their parents still try to persuade them to come back and live in false hope. Make Duaa that Allaah makes it easy for your parents to understand and accept your Hijrah feesabeelilah.

Sometimes it would be easier for you to accept your parents disowning you and wanting nothing to do with you.

However when you hear them sob and beg like crazy on the phone for you to come back it’s so hard. Wallahi it’s so hard to hear this and I can never do justice to how cold hearted you feel. But as long as you are firm and you know that this is all for the sake of Allah then nothing can shake you inshaAllaah.

18. The posts by these women — many of whom claim to have traveled to ISIS-occupied Syria from Western countries — provide a chilling look into the everyday lives of these female militants.

Proud of Mujahideen I love Mujahideen becauseThey Are our Protector……. <3 #IS #Khilafah

— MinaMiinaaa (@Mina Mina)

19. Under ISIS’ rule, women are required to cover themselves in public. The niqab, a head covering that only reveals a woman’s eyes, is mandatory.

Every woman in #Raqqa wears hijab shar’i. #ISIS #Syria. Dawlatul Islam Baqiyah!

— Ghareeba_7 (@أم هريرة #ﺑﺎﻗﻴﺔ)

20. Some women appear to have chosen to cover up more than is required, adding gloves and additional veils so none of their skin can be seen.

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Twitter: @UmmKhattab__ / Via This tweet has been deleted

21. Sharia law is strictly enforced, according to the women.

Drove passed the body of the man who was crucified in manbij for raping a 70 year old. Perks of living under the shade of Shariah :p

— Al_Khanssaa (@أم عبيدة)

22. (Islamic law dictates that the punishment for stealing is the loss of a hand.)

Alhumdulilaah there were 4 hand cuttings in Mimbej yesterday. & 1 was a man who was nearly a part of Doula (he was doing a Shareeah course)

— AlBrittaniyah (@.)

23. All work ceases for the daily prayers.

Written on the van Forbidding the evil & enjoining in the good,that goes around town telling shops to close for salah

— Al_Khanssaa (@أم عبيدة)

24. Polygamy is practiced, they say.

Being in a place where my 22 year old bro casually has three wives & not having to worry is beautiful

— SistersHayaa (@LIONESS!!!)

25. And it appears from the women’s posts as if some non-Muslim women are kept as slaves.

Walked into a room, gave salam to everyone in the room to find out there was a yazidi slave girl there as well.. she replied to my salam :/

— UmmAnwar_ (@Umm Anwar)

26. These posts and images from ISIS women are at times surprisingly familiar, such as this Instagram-like sunset photo.

As the sunsets in a part of shaam with @ukhtiB

— UmmAnwar_ (@Umm Anwar)

27. Or this food picture by “Umm Musab,” whose Twitter profile reads: “american [sic] muhajira living in the blessed land of Sham (Syria).”

dinner the sisters cooked..fish cought from the Furat river (:

— aishasara4 (@UmmMusab)

28. The selfie culture merges with the culture of jihad.

Chilling with the jihaadi twins hehe and @UmmKhattab__ visits us frequently! LOOL blessing from Allah….Khattab! Come upstairs you clothes

— ummkhalid__ (@Al Maghrebiyah)

29. Weapons are featured prominently.

My kalash :’) not really it belongs to someone else but it’s very nice lol

— UmmAnwar_ (@Umm Anwar)

30. Many of the most active women of ISIS on social media claim to be UK citizens.

Best thing ive done in my 18 years in this world is come to the blessed land of shaam and leave Britain the land of kuffar

— UmmKhattab__ (@Al jazraweeya)

31. Although they don’t claim to have any loyalty to their homelands.

So there’s a threat by David Cameron to revoke our passports. If I could I would burn my passport and send the ashes right to your door step

— Al_Khanssaa (@أم عبيدة)

. @Al_Khanssaa is it healthy for me to do an hourly countdown can’t wait lool

— bintladen1 (@Jihadi Jane)

View this image ›

Twitter: @UmmKhattab__ / Via This account is now protected.

And we sacrificed all of that for the best in akriah were not stupid young brainwashed females weve come here to syria for ALLAH alone

— UmmKhattab__ (@Al Britaniyaa)

I might be only 18 but I know coming to shaam the best decision staying in the UK completely diminishes your islam

— UmmKhattab__ (@Al Britaniyaa)

36. In an update to her blog on Thursday, Mahmood echoed this sentiment, vowing that she and her fellow insurgents would only return to their homelands “to raise our flag.”

All of us disassociated ourselves from our families, friends and societies. We make it known to the world that never has our allegiance been to the Scottish, British, Swedish, American, Canadian etc…. government. Wallahi we are free of those living in the West who know and proclaim the Shahadah while being beneath the feet of the Kuffar. Ittaqullah.

Know this Cameron/Obama, you and your countries will be beneath our feet and your Kufr will be destroyed, this is a promise from Allah swt that we have no doubt over. If not you then your grandchildren or their grandchildren. But worry not, somewhere along the line your blood will be spilled by our cubs in Dawlah. We have conquered these lands once Beithnillah we will do it again. Read up on your History, and know that it will repeat itself, you will pay Jizyah to us just like you did in the past. This Islamic Empire shall be known and feared world wide and we will follow none other than the Law of the one and the only ilah!

So our answer to our passports being confiscated? Wow wallahiil Adheeem biggest joke of this week. The only time we will ever, ever return to those lands beithnillah is to raise our flag.

Via fa-tubalilghuraba.tumblr.com

37. The Facebook page Diary of a Muhajirah provides a fascinating look into this society and the ISIS way of life. The blogger is a Western woman who originally travelled to Syria to work as a doctor.

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Facebook: Bird0fJannah / Via This page has been deleted or deactivated.

38. In one post, the woman, who calls herself Bird of Jannah, describes her arranged marriage to her militant husband two months after she arrived in Syria. They met and were married on the same day.

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Facebook: Bird0fJannah / Via This page has been deleted or deactivated.

39. Her posts suggest the marriage is a happy one.

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Facebook: Bird0fJannah / Via This page has been deactivated or deleted.

40. Marriage to a fighter is essentially a requirement for all women who join ISIS. Since they are forbidden from engaging in armed combat, their primary role appears to be taking care of their husbands, and, eventually, children.

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birds-of-jannah.tumblr.com

41. Unmarried women live in a group home called a “maqar” until their marriages are arranged and approved.

Single Sisters who wish to come here you get married, if not yous will be staying in a maqar #IS

— UmmAnwar_ (@Umm Anwar)

42. Mahmood explains this to female would-be jihadis on her blog. “It’s most appropriate and better for the sisters to get married sooner.”

I have stressed this before on twitter but I really need sisters to stop dreaming about coming to Shaam and not getting married. Wallahi life here is very difficult for the Muhajirat and we depend heavily on the brothers for a lot of support. It is not like the west where you can casually walk out and go to Asda/Walmart and drive back home… even till now we have to stay safe outside and must always be accompanied by a Mahram.

Even though we are living in land which is under the control of Doula, there are still a lot of munafiqeen roaming the streets openly. Unless of course if you have family here, if your father or brother is here then it is a different situation. Regardless, it’s most appropriate and better for the sisters to get married sooner.

Via fa-tubalilghuraba.tumblr.com

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Twitter: @Al_Khanssaa / Via This tweet has been deleted.

44. Many of the brides of ISIS are young. This newly engaged woman lists her age as 21 on her Facebook profile.

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Facebook: 100008411941520 / Via This page has been deactivated or deleted.

45. The constant fighting leaves many new wives alone for lengths of time. “Nothing beats the palpitation that a Mujahid’s wife has whilst checking list names of the Martyrs,” one wife explained.

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Facebook: Bird0fJannah / Via This page has been deactivated or deleted.

46. As a result, many of these new brides are soon widowed (and remarried, after an appropriate amount of time).

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Mujahida Umm Asma / Via Facebook: profile.php

47. Although the men do the fighting, the women of ISIS use social media to glorify the group’s horrific “victories”. Many women, including this self-proclaimed UK citizen, posted graphic images of journalist James Foley being beheaded by an insurgent.

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Twitter: @bintladen1

48. One ISIS woman (whose Facebook profile claims that she went to a Chicago high school) complained about not being able to post graphic decapitation images on her page.

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Facebook: muslimahsalafi123786 / Via This page has been deactivated or deleted.

49. These are women who “LOL” about beheadings as they defend them.

We worship Allah and we do what is best for our deen even if that means beheading a kaffir. Fear Allah and strike fear in the kuffar’s heart

— UmmAnwar_ (@Umm Anwar)

Lol I have American journalists asking me questions about why muhajirahs like nutella while dawla is capturing and killing their colleagues

— Al_Khanssaa (@أم عبيدة)

51. They use Twitter to mock journalists who write about them.

LoolHow the news speaks the opposite love my husband alhamdulillah ❤

— jafarbritaniya (@Umm Ja’far)

These journalist are so annoying no wonder they get kidnapped audibillah

— UmmKhattab__ (@Al Britaniyaa)

53. And express the desire to fight and behead people themselves.

If we ever get hold of her I call dibs on cutting her head plz @UmmLayth_ @Al_Khanssaa https://t.co/K3VTQZ6feP

— bintladen1 (@Jihadi Jane)

54. In a chilling exchange, one woman jokes and laughs with a friend about the first time they saw a dead body.

@aishasara4 loool yes and seeing for the first time a dead body loooool hahahahahha that was so funny

— ummyusuf22 (@ام يوسف)

@ummyusufal__ hahahahaha omg I completely forgot about that hahaha subhanAllah ahhh..ahh there having a convoy here in Raqqah today #Khilafa

— aishasara4 (@UmmMusab)

56. On 9/11, many gleefully posted about the anniversary of the terrorist attacks against America.

View this image ›

Twitter: @Al_Khanssaa / Via This tweet has been deleted.

Happy #9/11 Happiest day of my life.Hopefully more to come InSha Allah #IS

— jafarbritaniya (@Umm Ja’far)

The day Osama Bin Laden made America taste it’s own medicine!! Its not nice to see your people die right 9/11

— UmmKhattab__ (@Al Britaniyaa)

59. Or posted about the “hero” and “martyr” Osama bin Laden.

View this image ›

facebook.com / Via Muslim Women In Jihad: This page has been deleted.

60. Instead of being afraid of possible US action, they claim to be excited about the opportunity to kill more non-Muslims.

I am more then confident that no one in dawlah fears US invasion in fact we are all pretty excited more shuhadah and more slaying kuffar

— UmmKhattab__ (@Al Britaniyaa)

61. The women of ISIS, like the men, are confident of their eventual victory.

Victory or martyrdom Bi’ithnilahi ta3la

— SistersHayaa (@LIONESS!!!)

They have taken an oath of death whenever the enemy invadesThey seek the gardens of eternity, and they fulfill their oath

— bintladen1 (@Jihadi Jane)

“Her

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/ellievhall/inside-the-online-world-of-the-women-of-isis

#Facebook #islamic state #social media #twitter #women

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