#jay is grateful for small favors

[sefinaa]

Who is your future best friend? + Animal representation

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Not a tarot card reading, only based on my intuition.

Credit

Pile 1:

Golden retriever

This person embodies a golden retriever. They are a cheerful type of person, expect them to always be smiling. Not this type, “fake smiles.” This is sincere. I don’t see anything about them having a potential crush on you either, and they may be apart of the LGBQT+ community. They are harsh with people who are racist, against the community, prejudice, etc. You should expect them to fight for their rights, and I’m seeing “modern family” pop up in my head, so spirits tells me, this is their favorite show. They favor Mitchell, Jay and Phil..? (I have only seen one episode, but anyways these are their favorite).

Moving on, one thing I recommend to watch out for, is, they sometimes can be aggressive with you if you don’t agree with their decisions because they’re stubborn. Not aggressive as in hurting you, it’s.. passive aggressive. Sometimes snarky comments when agitated or mad. They will always feel calm when they hear a favorite song, have their favorite dessert or something small they enjoy. It is the little things that count for this person.

As for you, I don’t see much aggression when speaking to you, so it would seem that you calm this person down. I am getting that you are this person’s favorite. I am seeing them smiling a lot when you answer the text or when you initiate a call with them. Think of it like when your favorite ship sails, and you have this giggly or giddy type of feeling. I also see them being genuinely happy for you when you have an accomplishment done. There is just something so beautiful about this person. You can think of them as a shining star. You see stars at night when you need them the most, that is what the person will be for you.

This person will make you truly happy. They are like a happy pill. I hear that some of you are dealing with depression and anxiety. Sometimes you question whether or not you will find a friend who won’t treat you as something that you’re not. This person will treat you like you’re an angel. This person is going to light up your world so badly that when you think about this person and what they have done for you, you may cry about it. You’re definitely going to be very grateful for them and this will amplify so much beauty into your world.

Pile 2:

A raven

Your future, best friend shares many characteristics of a raven. Not only are they the silent and calm type, They are also a strong type. I am seeing a beautiful adult raven flying in a slight clouded sky, its wings fluttering out and it’s not alone. There is a crow with them. The crow is the indication of you. I am sensing that you both will be together always. Do you know how birds flock together to migrate? That is what you and your future friend will be like.

You both will be each other’s companion, hardship and all. This person is very loyal to their friendships. I feel as they are more loyal to friendships than relationships. I am honestly picking up that they put their friendship over the relationships. Honestly, I don’t think that’s a good mentality, but my intuition says they have a good reason for it. “I have been hurt so many times for being a hopeless romantic, I tried to hard and never go there same energy. Please don’t define me as a player, I swear to you I am not, I just.. I just have friends who cherished me so much during it that now.. I’m beyond scared to be in a relationship and will always put my friendship first.”

My intuition tells me that they have struggled a lot mentally and physically and with this circumstance, they sort of developed having a raven as their protected animal spirit. Spirit tells me if you see a raven constantly then it is the sign for you that they are coming. I’m getting a cheerful feeling thinking about them, so there isn’t much to say. However, as mentioned, they do struggle with trust so please be gentle with your companion and show love and gratitude to them as they truly deserve it.

Pile 3:

Sloth

If you have seen the anime “komi can’t communicate” think of Kaede Otori. In a way, they have slight similarities. I would say this person does communicate slow, as in they are the type to listen then communicate. They think about it and when they do speak, it usually means much more. I believe the way they emphasize it, is what does it. Anyways, you will enjoy the conversations you have because they’re truthful and cannot lie well. You can pick it up hence a bad liar. A lot of deep conversations.

You will know who they are when you meet. Your intuition will go chaotic about it. Even if you don’t follow your intuition, you will know. I am seeing this scenery where it’s a bar, slightly darken, but the light bulbs are only noticeable on your future best friend. They’re talking to someone but that person is darken out within the booth. This is what I’m getting at, you will just know. “Who talks to someone they don’t know off with a deep conversation and pulls it off?”

I cannot read much on this person, they’re a mystery. My mind is blank, completely blank. So I’d say they may also be perceptive of their surrounding and intelligent as well. I believe people always assume they have no intelligence, nothing around that sort because they way they communicate is one you don’t dare to find in this generation. Similar to a warrior princess. You also may blush when you first meet them. They have a soft tone and intellect like no other.

Now why sloth? My intuition tells me the reason for this is, “though sloths are known to be lazy and slow, that merely isn’t true. Think of the story with the hare and turtle. The turtle wins at the end, yes? The turtle is slow, I agree, but in this world patience is your best friend. This person is beyond patience and grateful thus creating a beautiful world for them. Your future best friend will teach you how to be patience and control your anger issues. Do you honestly think you can push this person away and get mad? No. They have seen this—this person is the reason why in the future, you learn to be better, to trust and know that someone gives a damn about you without you questioning it like always.”

#pick an image #pick a picture #pick a number #pick a photo #channel messages #pick a card reading #pick a photo reading #pick a image reading #reading #tarot card #free tarot reading #free readings #free intuitive readings #future reading #intution #intutive #intuitive readings #pick a side #pick a card #channeling #channeled message #psychic #psychic readings #present readings #readings #future spouse #tarot future spouse #fs pac #fs pics #timeless reading

[panjakes]

FL CHP.4 PJS

Pairing: Tiger Hybrid!Jay × Fox Hybrid black fem reader

Genre: fluff; crack; enemies to lovers au; slow burn

Ch. Warnings: profanity

PREVIOUS. NEXT

The next day….

Yn and jay sat in the library just staring at each other

"You know study buddies talk to each other right?"

Jay asked sarcastically

"What clubs are you in?" Yn asks ignoring his question

"Guitar club. It hasn't started yet" jay says scratching his head

"You like music?" Yn asks

"Yeah, I want to make music or produce it" jay says making Yn nod

“Mhm. So what is your problem with your work anyway?" Yn asks

"I don't have a problem. I just can't focus" he admits

"Why can't you focus?" Yn asks tilting her head in confusion

One of her ears twitched before resting on her head. She was so cute.

"I-I Uh I have some things on my mind" he says looking away from her

“Like what?" Yn asks genuinely concerned

"Don't worry about it and mind your got damn business" jay says harshly.

Yn makes a straight face before nodding. She closes her notebook and math book before sticking them in her green bookbag that had many different pins and patches on them. She stands up slinging her bag over her shoulders

"Where are you going?" He asks standing up

"Home. Your not going to speak to me like that. I'm doing you a favor." Yn says rolling her eyes while walking away

Jay groans before getting up and running after Yn

"Look I'm sorry" jay says grabbing her wrist She snatches it with a groan

"Whatever. We can try again tomorrow" she says walking out the library

He groans sitting back down at the table with a groan

"She's so damn stubborn" he mumbles putting his head down

Yn walks into the photography room where Maddie was already in the room

"Hey Yn! How was your study sesh?" She asks smiling

"We didn't study because he has a smart ass mouth. He's on his first strike already" Yn says putting her bookbag down

"Already?! Wow. I genuinely wonder how this will turn Out” maddie says smiling

"I'll tell you how. It's not going to work. Period. We hate each other" Yn says rolling her eyes

"Are you sure? Hates a strong word

"Well strongly dislike" Yn says grabbing her camera from her bag

"Honestly I think you to sweep your whole problem under the rug" Maddie says causing Yn to pause

"Sweep it under the rug? Maddie…he embarrassed me. On purpose! In front of the school and in front of Haruto! He ruined my picture" Yn says tilting her head in confusion

"Yeah I get that but it was one prank Yn, you can't go on with the grudge forever" Maddie says

She just wanted the two to just get over this ridiculous beef.

"I definitely can and as my bestfriend you should be on my side, not his" Yn says taking the lense cap of her camera

"I am on your side! I just don't want your hate for him to distract you" Maddie says with a frown

"Trust me. It won't. I'll talk to your dad and find him another study buddy" Yn says rolling her eyes

"Yn no, give him a chance" Maddie says

"Do you like him or something?" Yn asks shocking maddie causing her cheeks to flush a deep pink

"W-what!? N-no! Not at all! I-I just hate seeing my bestfriend upset about something so small" she says causing Yn to sigh

"I'm sorry Maddie I'm just.…stress. I'm not trying to take it out on you"Yn says wrapping an arm around Maddie

"It's okay Yn really, I just think you should forgive and forget" maddie says tapping her hand

"I'll try…only for you" Yn says smiling causing maddie to smile

Little did she know maddie wasn't crushing on Jay, it was her very bestfriend she was crushing on

"Your an fucking idiot"

"Shut the hell up Cindy" jay says rolling his eyes

"Your fucking up your chances with her" she says waving her hand

"Trust I'll have plenty of chances"

"You take to much pride in yourself. Yn doesn't seem like the kind of girl to put up with your shit. Be grateful that she's helping you cause l'd decline"

"Good thing your not my tutor then"

"Your missing the whole point asshole"

"Then what is your point? Get the hell out my face Cindy and go Fawn over Jungwon who's in love with his bestfriend and doesn't want you by the way” jay growls

"Jay! What is your problem?! Do not talk to your sister like that!" Jays mother says

"No mom it's fine. At least my crush knowledges me. Yn doesn't even want anything to do with you because your an asshole. She'll never be with you when you act like this, stupid fucking prick" she says

before storming off to her room allowing her door to slam

"Jay what is your problem?" His mother asks causing him to sigh

"I don't have a problem"

"It seems to me you do! Your failing your classes and being mean to your sister? This isn't like you" she says genuinely concerned

"Why are you acting like you care?" Jay asks

"Excuse me? Because I do" she says putting a hand on her hip

"You don't! Your never even here. You were never here now all of a sudden you want to care about me and cidny. Go back to Europe or where ever the hell you and your husband be at" jay says grabbing his phone and jacket

"Jay! Jay! Jong-seong ! Jong-seong park!" She shouts after jay as he ran out the house

Yn laid on her bed looking through the pictures she took on her camera. Keeping the ones she liked and deleting the ones she liked. Her reading glasses sat on the rim of her nose as she constantly pushed her long braids back into the black and yellow bonnet

"Yn! Your friend is here!" Her mom shouts

She frowns looking at her phone seeing no texts from Maddie says she was coming over.

"She's in her room you can go upstairs" her mom says to someone

She peeks over her shoulder waiting for the "friend" to come up the stairs. She gasp and gets up at the sight of jay.

"What're you doing here?" She asks

"|-I didn't know where else to go" he says sighing

"So you came here? To me? Why?" Yn asks folding her arms

"|-I got into it with my mom and I Uh. Don't really have anybody else so can we just study and do some home work to get my mind off things?" Jay asks

Before Yn could come up with a sassy response jay stopped her

"Please. I'm not here to argue or fight with you. I justneed a distraction" jay says making Yn sigh

“Yeah come on" Yn says pointing to the small coffee table with tiny bing bag chairs on the floor. He sat down in the chair taking in his surroundings. The walls were a forest green and white.

The walls and furniture were decorated with green brown and white decor. The smell of vanilla and coffee beans were in the air. Different candles and inscents were lit along with a humidifier going on. Ari Lennox played softly on her green and white Alexa.

He then looked over at Yn who walked over to the table with a black cup of pens. She wore a gray fitted crop top with black spandex shorts. He looked her up and down taking in her apprencr. She was beautiful in her element.

"I didn't know you wore glasses" he said softly

"They're readers" she says softly opening her text book

"So Uh what do you want to start with?" He asks

"We can start with the English homework. It's only 10 questions" Yn says

"Okay. Need a pen?" She asks causing the boy to nod She had a him a brown pen that had a bunch of bears and stars on them. He smiles at how cute it was.

They two got started on his homework, jay asking questions here and there. He actually wasn't getting on Yn's nerves

"So you want to tell me why your here?" Yn asks

"Me my and my sister got into it. Didn't feel like hearing their mouths or my dads so I just left before he came home" jay says putting the English work in a folder

"Are you going to go back?" Yn asks closing the English book and opening the precal book

"Probably not" he says writing his name on his paper

"Well where are you going to go?" Yn asks

"I don't know" jay says clutching his jaw Yn honestly felt bad.

"Don't you have any friends?" Yn asks

Jay sighs before shaking his head

"Not anymore…I got 38. Is that right?" Jay asks sliding the paper over to Yn. She looks it over and nods

"Yeah" she says

For the next two hours the two did class and homework.

"Hungry? My mom made Namungodi and Luwombo" she says confusing jay

"I'm sorry what is that?" He asks

"Ugandan food" Yn shrugs

"Your from Uganda?" He asks

"My parents are, do you want to try it?" She asks causing the boy to nod

She quickly gets up and goes to make him a plate before bringing it back up to him. It smell so good and tasted even better. His ears perked up at taste of food. It was delicious

It was safe to say, jay was stuffed and satisfied

"Uh thanks for the meal and help Yn. I Uh l appreciate it" jay says nodding

"It's cool. Don't mention it. Really don't mention it» Yn says

"I'll Uh see you at school tomorrow" he says opening

the door

"Wait" Yn says causing him to stop

"Do you really have no where else to go?" Yn asks

"No, I was just going to a park or something he says making Yn sigh ears dropping at the information

"I'm not going to let you leave after hearing that information" Yn says

"What?" Jay ask

"We Uh have a couch in the basement you can use. My mom won't mind and my dad doesn't come home until after I leave for school" she says pointing to the basement

"Uh no l'm fine. You already did enough." He says opening the door Yn sighs and closes it

“Jay get your ass down the stairs. Not going to argue you with you" she says causing the boy to nod. Yn leads the way to the basement. It was cozy. I nice plush black couch with a black coffee table. A tv sat on a tv stand that had a heater that looked like a fire place under it

Yn goes into a closet pulling out a blanket and pillow.

"You just have this stuff down here?" Jay asks as she hands him the pile of blankets

"Yeah me and Maddie often sleep down here when she comes over soo" Yn says making him nod

"Uh yeah, thanks again" he says

"No problem” Yn says

“Uh see you in the morning” jay says as Yn walks up the stairs

“See you in the morning” Yn says heading straight to her room to tell Maddie what just happened

The next morning…

Jay was woken up by Yn’s mother.

“Sweetheart time to get up! It’s 7:30” she says with a smile

“Uh thank you for waking me up” he says

“No problem what’s your name again sweetheart?”

“J-jay”

“Well jay here’s some clothes for you. There’s a shower right over there”

“Uh thank you, if you don’t mind me asking you just have these things laying around?” Jay asks

“Their my nephews and I’m sure he won’t mind lending you some clothes. Breakfast will be ready in 10” she says

Jay scoffs at the air. This family was waaay to nice. Nothing like his. It was weird. It felt weird to be cared for.

Jay did his thing in the bathroom and quickly went up the stairs to join Yn and her family. Yn’s mother sat plates on the table.

Jay awkwardly goes over to the table and takes a seat. Yn’s mother sits a plate down in front of him the consisted of a pancakes and bacon with fried bananas on the side. Next to his plate was a bowl of what he’d assume was porridge.

“Apple or orange?” She asks

“Uh orange” he says making her laugh

“Yn likes apple” she says sitting the cup in front of him

“Thank you ma’am” jay says nodding

“No problem”

Jay looks over at the women seeing same red fox ears that Yn had. Now that he paid attention she looked exactly like Yn. Down To the T. It was as if she cloned her daughter.

Soon Yn came down the stairs dressed and ready. Her kinky hair was brushed out sitting pretty on her head

“Morning mama, where’s taata?” Yn asks sitting at the tbale

“Morning omwana wange, he should be walking in now” her mother says

Jay was a little confuzled with the language switch but he put two and two together and figured what they were talking about.

“My Amaka! I’m home”

“Taata!” Yn says jumping up from her seat to great the man that walked into the kitchen

“My Yn! How are you this morning?” He asks

“I’m good Taata, how was work?” Yn asks taking her seat

“Tiring but I enjoy my job, ohh. We have a guest.” He says looking over at jay

“This is Yn study buddy, he came to walk her to school this morning so I invited him in for breakfast”

“What’s your name boy?”

“Jay sir”

“Mm. Make sure my child gets to school safely” he says

“Yes sir” jay says nodding

“You kids eat. It’s almost time to go”

Jay watch the family dynamic and could help but feel jealous. From the time his “parents” adopted jay and cidny, jay never got to experience this. He and cidny always ate with the babysitter or alone because his “parents” were out traveling.

“Hey, jay!”

Jay snaps out of his trance looking over at Yn who looked back at him

“Are you going to eat your Bananas?” She asks causing him to slide his plate over so the dark skin girl could eat the left overs he didn’t.

“Yn stay out his plate!” Her mother says

“Mommy! He’s obviously full! I’m making sure the food doesn’t go to waste” Yn says stuffing the bananas into her mouth

She takes the plates and put them into the sink. She grabbed her bag and jays jacket heading to the door

“Okay we’re leaving! Bye Mommy bye Taata!” Yn shouts opening the door going outside with Jay right behind her.

The walk was quiet but it wasn’t awkward.

“So, why’d you let me stay over?” Jay asks making Yn gulp

“Because I know what it’s like to not have anywhere to go. Don’t mention it. At all. Like ever” Yn says

“Why? Scared what everyone will think?” Jay asks

“Yes. I am actually. I don’t want people to think I’m anything but your study buddy” Yn says crushing Jay’s heart.

Yet he didn’t know why those words hurt

“Whatever Yn. I could care less” jay says rolling his eyes

“Great. Keep it that way” Yn says speed walking to the school entrance

Before Jay could shout out to him his name was called

“Jong-seong!”

He turns around to be met with his sister

“What” he asks

“Where the fuck were you?! Mom and dad were worried sick about you!” She says making him roll his eyes

“I seriously doubt that” jay says walking away with cidny on his tail

“I don’t know what your problem is but you need to stop! Dad is pissed a-“ she starts but jay turns around growling at her

“Fuck dad! When has he ever cared about us cindy”He says causing her to flitch

“D-don’t say that!“ she says

“Look, you might be the perfect little hybrid they wanted and that’s why they dot on you. But I’m not something they ever wanted and I’m fucking fine with that. Walk home without me cause I’m not coming home tonight either” jay says waking away with cidny calling out to him

Yn stood by the entrance watching the interaction truly and genuinely concerned about what was going on it jays home.

Chapter 5 will be posted on @brownsugarbaybee ‘s blog!!!

#ambw fic #black reader #ambw #black girls are beautiful #black reader insert #kpop poc #kpop #x black reader #x black!reader #kpop imagines #enhypen x y/n #enhypen imagines #enhypen x black reader #enhypen jay drabbles

[tiefling-nerddddd]

Jay really had a lot of nerve. He dragged Tim back into this, and now he has the audacity to tell him what to do? Sure, setting up the camera before they go to sleep was a small request, but god that was the straw that broke the camels back.

Jay has been bugging him about shit all day. “Can you lend me money for this?”, “Can we go to this gas station?” Jay had been just pestering Tim about shit all day. Even knit picking what he did and said. “Please don’t cuss on camera.” Tim was at his limit.

“No.” He said, scoffing. Jay looked at him with a confused expression. “Why is that? I’m just asking you to do a favor.” He said, going over to set the camera up himself. “You’ve been asking me to do favors for you all day! You’ve been bossing me around all day! It’s fucking obnoxious.” Jay was taken aback by his boyfriend’s sudden yelling, so shocked that he stopped in his tracks to look at him. “I didn’t know I was being bossy.” Jay said so innocently, so innocently that it made Tim almost feel bad for yelling at Jay, but god he was so pissed off. “Well you were!” Tim shouted.

Jay looked at Tim with a hurt, then angry expression. “Well it’s not my fault or problem if you felt like you were being bossed around all day, maybe you could’ve talked about it, but no. You don’t do that! Because you’re a big tough man without any feelings, huh? Is that right?” Jay accused.

Tim paused before pulling a carton of cigarettes out of his pocket, pulling a cigarette out and putting it into his mouth. He didn’t have a rebuttal to Jays statement. He started to light his cigarette, before a nagging voice continued to talk.

“Tim, don’t smoke in the hotel room!” Jay yelped. Tim rolled his eyes as he started to shout. “There it is! That bossiness! Oh my god, your voice is so grating! You just, ugh. You need to shut up sometimes! Did you ever think of that? You’re just so annoying! All you do is annoy me! Jesus fucking Christ, Jay!” Tim regretted the words as soon as they came out oh his mouth.

Jay just stared at him, tears starting to form in his eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me?” Jay almost whispered, voice breaking. Tim shook his head. “No, Jay I- I didn’t mean that, please, Jaybird-“ Tim started, but was cut off by Jay putting his hand up as to signal for Tim to shut up.

“Jay…” Tim started again. Jay sat on the bed, putting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Tim sat next next to Jay, cautiously wrapping his arm around his shoulders. “I love you,” Tim continued. “I love you so much. I didn’t mean any of that. At all. I adore you. I… I wouldn’t know where I would be if I weren’t for you.”

This made Jay look at his partner, a couple tears streaming down his cheeks. Tim gently cupped Jays cheek, wiping Jays tears with his own thumb. “Baby, I mean it.” He said softly. Jay silently nodded, believing Tim’s remorseful sentiments. Jay gently rested his forehead on his partner’s shoulder. Tim pulled Jay into a tight, warm embrace, softly rubbing Jays back.

“I love you so much, hun. So so so much.” Tim said softly. “I love you too.” Jay replied.

#marble hornets #tim wright #writer #mh jam #this kinda got away from me #this kinda sucks #I wrote this so late #I hope you enjoy it regardless

[j-graysonlibrary]

The Xiang Chronicles: Book Two Chapter 34

Title: The Xiang Chronicles: Book Two

Author: Jay Grayson

Word Count: 98k

Genres: Fantasy, adventure, drama, LGBT+

Available on: my website

Synopsis: With another Xiang in the mix, for the first time in history, Pangu decides to reevaluate his methods and his place in the world. Along with taking his little sister Heidi as his last disciple, he also chooses to take the more political path in his efforts to end the discord throughout the land—particularly within Terra. (And gaining favor from the handsome Lord of Ultimos does not hurt.)

Heidi butts heads with everyone in the group, save Raine, and tensions are higher than ever. There are failed love confessions, in-group fighting, and demons from Kira’s past but that all comes to a head when they meet a servant of Shakti who is more than what she seems.

Could it be that the Mistresses of Shadow are more nuanced than previously believed? Or that the strict dichotomy between light and dark are, perhaps, a touch exaggerated? That and more begin to plague Pangu’s mind and his faith wavers…

Full chapter 34 under the cut

Chapter XXXIV:

With the arrowhead behind them and a fire burning in the middle of their circle, Alf read out the letter he would send to Kuniser in the morning. He asked for feedback and any recommendations for adding information. It was a bulky letter, filled with to the brim with information and quite a lot of passion from Alf.

“See, that is a letter requesting an audience right there,” Heidi said, shaking a finger. She also smiled as she looked to Viren, seemingly forgetting that he was not the actual author of the note that called them to Ultimos.

The lord shook his head and switched direction entirely. “After our meeting with Lord Dio, I believe I will take Oli into Agni.”

He had not mentioned anything like it before and Pangu sat up straighter. “What? Why?”

“We talked before about how the lords in Agni could be valuable allies. I think we should attempt to secure both King Raime as well as whoever we can in Agni.”

“But…we can circle back. Together.” Pangu frowned.

Viren did not let his expression stop him from smiling. “Pangu, this will be faster—better in the long run. Besides, creating these ties will be necessary going forward. Just coming to Meala has taught me that I know a frighteningly small amount about this world. If I want my throne back, I need to do better. And that starts, for me, in building a better relationship with Agni.”

It made sense but Pangu still felt a twitch in his heart at the thought of parting again.

Then Baiya spoke, “My sister is in good standing with Lord Phay. I can send you to my family and they will lead you well.”

Viren gave him a grateful nod. “Thank you, Baiya.”

“So, we will go to Kyrie while you and Oli make for Agni,” Raine clarified, “Perhaps we can meet again in Kuniser if Lord Dio is approving.”

“What of Enlil?” Heidi asked, “Do we just let Merra stick her grubby hands all over our land and use them how she pleases?”

“I think Enlil is stronger than she realizes,” Pangu responded. He at least hoped it was the case. “If she struggles with them then we have even more time.”

“If she gets through us at all,” Idris said with his chest puffed.

“Careful, we do not want a war down here,” Alf warned. He had entertained, during several of their campfire meetings, the idea of “surrendering” to Merra but still working against her. It would cost lives of Meala people either way but that way there would be less bloodshed.

People of northern and central Terra knew little of the region anyway so they could still easily hide and host Pangu and his disciples at any time while playing Merra’s game. It was a risky gambit if they were found out but direct refusal could bring genocide.

Alf knew that but Idris liked to imagine their people would win in any war they fought. Heidi would often have to remind him, “You are not even a fighter, Boosha.”

“Urishka, you hurt me.” The man pouted.

Pangu watched them, past the crackling fire, and he felt his chest constrict again. “You know…” he licked over his lips, pausing in his sudden nervousness, “if any of you want out of this…you do not have to come with me. You can do whatever you want…”

“Where is this coming from?” Kira asked with a frown.

“Well…” he shrugged. “I am, technically, no longer Xiang and, likewise, you are not my disciples. Not really. So you have no duty-bound reason to stay. I would not blame anyone for leaving and taking care of themselves.”

Baiya was the first to speak up, grabbing his hand as he did so. “I would not leave you for anything.”

“Yes, you are still Xiang,” Raine seconded, “To me, at least.”

“I am not quitting after all this,” Heidi huffed.

Pangu’s eyes landed on Kira who had not said his piece yet. He watched him and leaned forward, expecting a similar sentiment.

“Pangu,” he finally spoke, a serious glimmer in his eyes, “You practically dragged me into this…there is no way you are getting rid of me now that I am here.”

He chuckled, relieved and happy that they all felt the same.

“Besides,” Kira continued on, “What the fuck else are we supposed to do? I mean, I guess Raine still has a job and Baiya can go back to being a momma’s boy but what would I do?”

Pangu snickered while Baiya tossed a pebble over the fire at him.

A crack, from the wood line, sucked the life out of the group and everyone turned to look at once. The noise was not a noise alone—there was a burst of energy that came through and it was distinct, especially to Pangu.

It was enough to suck the warmth out of his body, replacing his blood with ice and his heart with an impossibly heavy stone, sinking ever deeper into his gut. While everyone else looked around, scanning the perimeter of the woods for the threat, he froze and stared directly toward the source of power.

Slowly, the others followed suit, brandishing their weapons and tensing as the tree branches and shrubs shook, disturbed. Streaks of light emerged before the figure, themselves, made an appearance. Tall, donned in white, and faintly glowing, the intruder stood before them.

A few rogue leaves stuck to their raven black hair and beard but, other than that, they were untarnished. Kira’s eyes narrowed, instantly prepared to fight with Baiya right behind him. Heidi, despite her nerves, was a close third while Raine hoped that some sort of compromised could be reached all while gripping his trident with white knuckles. Viren stepped before Oli, shielding him with an arm while Alf opened and closed his mouth, never having seen the figure before but having quite a visceral idea of who they were.

“Zhu?” Pangu questioned and held up his hands, ready to throw a barrier over them all at a moment’s notice.

The oldest of his teachers smiled and briefly bowed his head. “Yes. I need to speak to you, Pangu.”

“No you don’t,” Kira countered instantly.

“Why are you here?” Heidi asked right after.

Zhu glanced between everyone, eyes sticking with each individual for longer than was comfortable before finally landing on Pangu. “As you can see, I am by myself. Merra knows nothing of this meeting.”

“I do not understand,” Pangu admitted and then shook his head. “Unless you are here to explain this plan of yours that she spoke of…I am not sure there is value in talking to you.”

He let his head hang and sighed. “It pains me to see you so hurt by my presence, Pangu.” When he looked at him again, he frowned. “Please, son, do not make this difficult.”

When his gaze flickered over to the others, Pangu felt his heart lurch into his throat. When it came to fighting, he did not know what Zhu could do, not really, so to challenge him further was dangerous.

With that in mind, he let his arm drop. “Fine. We shall talk.”

The last thing he heard was a muffled call of his name from everyone before he was transported to the tomb in the spirit realm. It felt even more dreadful and empty than the last time he accidently came upon it.

A few feet stayed between him and Zhu while the stone building, confined by ropes and spells, stood as their backdrop. The usual lilac of the sky grew a little darker and there was a rumble like thunder. Pangu did not even realize it stormed in the spirit realm but, he supposed, when he really thought of it, he could not see why it wouldn’t.

That was beside the point, however, and he did not linger on it. His eyes stayed focused on Zhu who had yet to blink. “I can guess what you want to talk about.”

“I am sure you can.”

Pangu frowned and shook his head. “I just do not know why you would come here to talk about it. It does not need to be said. It is obvious.”

“It is,” Zhu agreed, “Obvious, foolish, selfish…”

He flinched when he said the word ‘selfish’. “Everyone is selfish sometimes.”

A bitter smile reached Zhu’s lips and he clasped his hands behind his back. “No. Not everyone. The Xiang is not supposed to be. The Xiang is also not supposed to be a beacon of sin and ruin yet here we stand.”

Pangu bit down on his tongue. His mentor’s words were no longer cordial—there was poison on his teeth.

“You may think I am some evil puppet of Shakti now but I feel a similar disappointment when I think of you and your plans for this world.” He stood his ground. “What Merra told me was terrible and against everything you taught me. I just want to help the people of this world. I believed that was my purpose.”

“Your purpose,” a new voice entered and shook the ground. The sky darkened to a deep violet and streaks of pink electricity shot out in all directions, piercing clouds and striking the ground with a clap. Wind whipped up around them, blowing robes and hair in all directions. A shadow, like a giant in the distance, appeared on the horizon and Pangu took it in with horror.

He had never believed, in all of his life, that they would meet like this. It was supposed to be pleasant, serene even, and deeply enlightening. He was supposed to be filled with light and reverence—he was supposed to be happy right now.

He was supposed to be a lot of things.

“Your purpose,” he repeated with more gravel, his voice like the winds of a hurricane, “was to do as I say.”

Pangu’s insides felt hollow. He gulped and stared at the bust in the sky—at a loss for words.

He was bigger than the mountains in the distance, more defined than the clouds but also less tangible. His skin brought light back to the realm even if the sky around his head and shoulders continued to darken. Black hair, long and smooth, fell somewhere past where Pangu could see as did the length of his beard. A white band tied around his forehead—a much smaller symbol of his godhood than expected. The insignia on the band was difficult to make out despite the size of it since the glow from his skin obscured many of the details on his face.

Really, he looked almost identical to the Heavenly Princes but just larger and more severe. They were made in his image and carried a little piece of him with them so that was to be expected but the extent of their likeness still startled Pangu.

“Tiandi,” he finally said his name.

His eyes widened, bulged. “Do not speak my name so impudently! Bow! Meager yourself before me!”

Pangu could not. He kept standing and just stared.

Of all the stories he had heard of Tiandi, he knew he was a strict God and he had a high standard for manners and demanded respect but he had also always assumed he was like a warm but old-fashioned father. He imagined he would kindly ask him to correct his behavior if it offended him or offer praise for what he did find acceptable.

He did not think he would yell.

His mentors never yelled so why would Tiandi?

“BOW!” Tiandi bellowed and the realm shook, sending Pangu to his knees. When he stayed down there, getting his bearings, Tiandi muttered, “Better.”

Pangu felt the heat of tears prickle his eyes as he looked up. “What brings you here? To speak to me directly?”

That time, his eyebrows furled and the brightness of his skin flared around him, lapping about like flames. “Do not ask questions you know the answer to! You have sullied my name and my image. You have besmirched the title of Xiang for all eternity. You cannot possibly be ignorant of this!”

Zhu stepped closer and looked down at Pangu with an expression that read as sad but it was difficult to tell. He did not especially believe he knew any of them anymore.

“I tried, Pangu,” Zhu said and closed his eyes. “I gave you two chances to save yourself, to redeem your name in Tiandi’s eyes. He wished you dead the moment you chose that Chaaya for a disciple but me and the other Princes worked tirelessly to grant you leeway. And what do you do?”

Pangu tried to rise from his knees but he was frozen in place. A force, from Tiandi, was keeping in the kneeling position. All he could do was turn his head upward to meet his old teacher’s eyes.

“I was honest with myself…” Pangu tried, in vain, to hold back the tears. A few streaked down his face. “I wished to help the people…I have done nothing to help Shakti. I have done nothing to hurt the people…”

“Stop lying!” Zhu raised his voice, shaking Pangu to his core. He sounded like Tiandi now. “You keep saying this was all for the people but you and I AND Tiandi all know that is not true. You told the world you want to lay with men not for their benefit but because you wanted to! You chose your disciples by your feelings alone—one because you found him attractive! Every decision you have made has been selfish and childish! I should have been a better parent to you, I really should have been. I let you get away with far too much and allowed you to become too full of yourself.”

Pangu’s tears fell to the rock under him, some bouncing off and others soaking into the surface right away. He shook, his muscles aching under the strain of his position as well as their desire to flee. But, of course, he still could not.

“Merra will take your place,” Tiandi spoke with a voice that was softer and filled with less anger and more purpose. “We will do our best to erase your existence from the people’s mind and let this failure be a memory only for us so that we do not make the same mistakes again.”

Failure. Erasure. Mistake. Pangu’s vision blurred and his skin chilled. He could not even speak. He suspected Tiandi sealed that ability as well.

“Zhu will take your soul away from this world and I pray to never meet you again.”

Pangu tensed, using all of the energy he had in him to try moving again. He cried out, in his mind, but on the outside he remained quiet and bowed as if in penance.

His eyes focused on his right hand and he collected his energy there, enough to move his index finger. A shot of excitement was quickly followed by a shot of pain.

A sharp slice came first and then a blunt pressure all through his chest spread like wildfire. He was not sure if he was breathing or not before but he knew now that it hurt to. His lungs must have been torn open by the spike of rock jutting through his middle. His heart, too, was smashed.

Pangu kept awareness for an excruciatingly long time. It had to have been minutes where he remained, on his hands and knees, screaming internally but only letting out blood from his mouth. More tears fell from his eyes, joining the splatter of red and the realization blossomed in him just as his consciousness began fading.

He would not be going back.

He did not even get to say goodbye.

***

It had been too long—the sun was already rising. Everyone fanned out, even the villagers as they started to rise for the morning, and they searched the perimeter on the off chance that Pangu had reappeared somewhere farther away.

The disciples and Viren met back at the arrowhead, exhausted and fearful. No one had found him.

“Are they keeping him in the spirit realm?” Raine asked despite knowing that no one knew the answer.

“They can’t,” Baiya replied, not hiding his frustration.

“I’ll kill that bastard when I see him,” Kira grumbled, “I don’t care who he is.”

Viren watched them all with a furrowed brow and a frown. He was not sure if anyone else felt the sinking sensation he did. All he knew was that he could not stomach it much longer.

“Look!” Heidi’s sudden shout, brought with it a spike of energy.

Right where the old man had left from, his form started to take shape again. The sun kissed the back of his white robes as he appeared, arms full of a long roll of fabric. It dipped in his hold and the disciples held their breath.

“Where is Pangu?!” Kira demanded.

“Silence,” Zhu boomed before removing one hand to pull forth the fabric, revealing a body underneath. “If you do not cease your crusade against the Xiang Merra, you will meet his same fate.”

He dropped the body to the ground and there was almost no need to have a closer look but without seeing, with their own eyes, they might not have believed it.

Heidi was the first to scream and Viren covered his mouth, dropping to his knees and trembling. Raine walked slowly forward, his heart pulling down to the depths of his stomach while Baiya collapsed at the side of the corpse. Cries, yells, the calling of his name—“Pangu!”

Kira could not make a sound, however. He could only stare at the lifeless body of his companion. His best friend. What was before him reflected what was within.

A coldness.

A darkness.

An emptiness.

The grief was overwhelming and loud and visceral but it would not wake Pangu. It would not bring him back.

#the xiang chronicles #my novel #my writing

[chefdoeuvre]

Busted

Jay Halstead

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Sister!Reader

Description: You're not as slick as you originally thought.

Words: 1,021

Requested: yes by anonymous; I wanted to request a Halstead sister! imagine where jay is undercover or something and they run into his high school sister at a club or house party? I love your blog!

Warnings: mention of drinking, drugs, language, Jay Halstead being way too overprotective.

A/N: I changed it from undercover to Jay working overtime because I thought it’d be funny for the reader to have to ride in the back of his patrol car. I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors.

—

Sneaking out to go to a party was not a part of your plans tonight but since Will and Jay were going to be at work for the majority of the night you decided to throw caution to the wind and go. Of course, you didn’t exactly think through much before throwing on a random top and bottoms that could be deemed good enough and headed to the party. The party wasn’t a special invite-only type of party you saw on television it was open to the whole school if you felt like showing up. It was one of the top hockey players’ houses since his parents would be gone for the week on a business trip. There was a lot of drinking and some weed smoking going on in the backyard. Music was decently loud for the time of night it was and people were busy dancing their cares away from the past week.

While others were busy shoveling substances in their systems to have fun you stayed near the front of the house where most of the sober people resided. Most of you were just making conversation or making jokes about how the guys acted when they wanted to play beer pong with tequila. The front area included a living room with a large couch to fill up the space which was where a majority of the calmer students sat while nursing their only cup that they planned on having for the night.

Obviously, another thing you didn’t plan was for Jay to be working the area where the party was held for his overtime shift. When sirens began nearing the property everyone began running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Your luck just so happened to run out that very moment because you were standing at the foyer when Jay came walking in through the open front door. He was dressed in his blue uniform with a scowl on his face. Yeah, breaking up high school parties was not the fun part of his job. His eyes immediately landed on you and his scowl increasingly became worse with every step he took toward you.

“Damn it.” You heaved a sigh once Jay came to a stop in front of you.

“What do you think you’re doing at a party this late?” Jay crossed his arms over his chest.

“It’s not like I was doing anything bad, Jay.” You rolled your eyes.

“Uh huh, go outside and wait by the car.” Jay nodded unconvinced and gestured his head toward the patrol car sitting out front. He knew you hadn’t done anything besides sneaking out, but this was just how he was.

“Fine.” You reluctantly agreed with a groan.

Being busted was never fun, that’s for sure. Even more so when Jay had to drive around in a patrol car rather than his usual truck. That meant he would have to drive you back home in the back of said patrol car like some kind of criminal. Which you were definitely not, just so we can be clear.

You slowly walked down the front lawn toward the patrol car with a frown etched onto your features. You stood next to it with your arms crossed waiting for Jay to come back from checking over the entire property with Hailey. Oh, I forgot to mention that your favorite blonde that you looked up to just so happened to be partnered up with your brother for this overtime shift. As if disappointed looks from Jay weren’t enough you’d have to get sympathetic looks from Hailey who saw your brother’s wrath dealing with suspects daily.

Eventually, Jay and Hailey both came out with blank looks on their faces making it hard for you to tell if Jay was pissed off or only slightly angry with your decision to attend this party. Jay silently opened the back door and gestured inside with a small smirk adorning his face.

“After you.” Jay waved his arm.

“Yeah, thanks.” You nodded sarcastically before sliding into the back seat of the car.

Jay and Hailey got back into their respective seats as you furrowed your brows at the view from the back seat.

“This just feels wrong.” You stared through the grate with your nose scrunched up.

“Good to know that you’ll do your best to stay out of the back of these cars.” Jay smiled sarcastically.

“I’ll only make it my life’s work.” You raised your brows in amusement.

“Enough you two with the sarcastic comments.” Hailey sighed with a small smile.

“Your boyfriend started it, not me. You’re my key witness.” You raised your arms in mock surrender, looking at Hailey.

Jay scoffed with a shake of his head in response. Soon enough he had pulled up to your apartment building and opened the back door for you to get out.

“I better not see your ass at another party without telling me first, all right?” Jay looked pointedly at you.

“You won’t, I promise. It wasn’t even that fun anyway if it makes you feel any better.” You said with pursed lips.

“It does actually, I texted Will he’s coming over with a very late dinner after his shift.” Jay nodded his head as the two of you walked up the stairs to your apartment.

“You’re seriously making him babysit me?” You questioned with furrowed brows.

“Hey, at least he’s bringing the two of you dinner.” Jay argued while unlocking the door and letting you go in first.

“Fair enough.” You nodded with a sigh.

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone, I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” Jay leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of your head.

“All right, bye. Love you.” You shook your head with a small smile.

“Love you too, Pipsqueak.” Jay waved with a wide smirk before he headed back out the door.

You couldn’t even get a word in before the door shut and you let out a scoff at the less than favorable nickname he still insisted on using. Big brothers, what can I say? Annoying as hell, but you love them anyway.

#fanfiction #imagine #request #one shot #one chicago #one chicago imagine #chicago pd #one chicago fanfiction #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd fanfiction #jay halstead x sister!reader #jay halstead x you #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead fanfiction #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead

[horansqueen]

could u make one where y/n is Niall's assistant and they don't like each other but have common friends and they go to a club together with their friends and Niall get's jealous when a guy hits on y/n and she asks him why and he starts kissing her and ends with saying that's why lol

request from @cursedlover !!! FLUFF! with a bit of inappropriate touching at the end but nothing dirty. 2k. hope you enjoy!!

"You're so annoying, you're so fucking annoying!" I thought as I looked at my boss, squeezing my jaw to make sure the words wouldn't escape my lips.

I knew it was just a difference of personalities and that he wasn't really as annoying as I felt. After all, everyone seemed to love him except me and perhaps that proved I was wrong about him. I could just resign and get a job somewhere else, i knew it, but there was clearly no way I would find a job that paid that well. I was not sure it made out for the clash of personalities Niall and I went through but for money I desperately needed, I could manage to stay a couple more weeks, right?

"Yea, no problem, I'll do it." I replied with a smile, knowing perfectly it was hard for me to hide my irritation.

All my friends said I was like an open book and hiding my feelings was not an easy task but I tried very hard when I was around Niall. I sighed of relief as soon as I stepped foot out of his apartment as if I had been holding my breath the whole time. I started walking to my car just as my phone rang and I groaned of displeasure when I thought it could be him calling to ask me something else.

"Hello?"

"Y/N, you sound grumpy!" I heard my friend on the other line.

"I thought it was Niall." I explained, sitting in front of the wheel and leaning my head against the bench. "He's so annoying, Jay, I don't know how long I'll be able to handle it."

Jay was actually the link between Niall and I. He was the one who found me the job and I was really grateful to him, but I didn't know who Niall was and now I wish I didn't know.

"It's better than minimum wage in a retail store." Jay pointed out, making me raise my nose in a grimace. "Besides, Niall's an amazing guy, you're just being rude because he's exactly like you."

"Is that how you expect me to say yes to the favor you're about to ask?" I wondered, raising my eyebrows even if he couldn't see me.

"How do you-"

"I know you!" I cut him, my voice getting slightly louder. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm actually just calling to invite you tonight. We're going to a bar and you should come, I can hear in your voice that you need it."

I sighed again and closed my eyes, my head still leaned against the bench. "I was actually thinking about watching Netflix in bed."

"Oh come on!"

"No seriously, after spending the day with Niall Horan, I need to relax and clear my head."

---

I don't know how I ended up agreeing to it but when I entered the bar, I immediately regretted it. The music was loud and the lights hurt my eyes. I let my eyes roam around and my lips curled when I noticed Jay , standing up next to a table with a bunch of our friends. I walked up to the quickly, making my way through all the people in the bar, but when I was close enough, Jay moved slightly and my smile fell. Niall was there, laughing his head off, and something twisted in my stomach. It took him a few seconds to notice me since I had stopped moving and when our eyes met, his smile fell. I breathed in and turned quickly on my heels, ready to get out of this place as fast as I could until I felt two hands on my upper arms, holding me gently.

"Hey, you promised, remember?"

I sighed again, closing my eyes as Jay's hand slid down my arms. I had, indeed, promised to be there, and I was mad at myself for that. I turned around and shook my head, looking up in his eyes.

"You didn't mention he would be here."

"Oh come on, Y/N, get to know him okay? I swear he's a cool guy."

I glanced at the table behind my friend and noticed everyone was talking and laughing except Niall. He was staring at me and I licked my lips nervously.

"Okay."

I joined everyone at the table and ended up sitting right in front of my boss. It was not the kind of friday night I expected and I felt constantly checked. It scared me that if I did something that would bother him, he could just fire me for the sake of it, and I hated it. I could feel his eyes on me from time to time, burning the side of my face, and for some odd reason, it made my heart skip a few beats. If he was anyone but my boss, i would ask him what the fuck was his problem, but no one asks their boss that, no matter how much they stare, right?

After a while, I got up and walked to the bar to order a drink and leaned against it until someone did the same next to me, catching my attention. I glanced at them but realized I didn't know him and finally sent him a small and polite smile before grabbing my drink and leaving a bill on the counter. I turned around to go back to my friends but he followed me and I swallowed hard.

"Hey, I'm sorry for being so upfront but, would you want to dance?"

My eyes scanned the dance floor for a few seconds before meeting his again. "I'm not so much of a dancer."

It was sort of a lie, I actually liked to dance but not with someone I didn't know. He was cute and I could probably be interested, but I was too emotionally frustrated at the moment to start anything with anyone, even if only something that would last one night.

"Can I buy you a drink then?" he asked again as we stood next to my table.

"I mean..." My hand gripped the glass in my hand and I pressed my lips together. "I'll let you know when I finish this one?"

His lips curled and he nodded, pointing the table a bit further with his chin. "I'll be sitting there with friends, whenever you feel like it."

I nodded and sent him a small smile and he winked at me, turning his head back to look at me on his way to his own friends. I chuckled and tilted my head, remaining motionless for a few seconds and after a while, I sat back next to Jay.

"You're not gonna let that arsehole shag you, right?"

My heart jumped in my chest when I recognized Niall's voice and when our eyes met, I noticed he was frowning. I could have sworn he was angry and it surprised me more than I thought.

"I don't see how it's any of your business." I quickly replied, feeling suddenly slightly guilty for the way I was talking to my boss. After a few seconds, though, the guilt disappeared. Just because Niall was my boss didn't mean he could tell me who In can and can not have sex with. I was off at the moment and I was allowed to do anything I wanted. "You don't have a say in who I shag."

His lips parted and his eyebrows raised. Clearly, he was not used in the way I was talking to him and he scoffed low. It didn't seem rude though, just slightly surprised. He didn't expect me to be rough with him but I could swear I had seen a small smile on his lips for half a second.

"Please, don't tell me he's the kind of guy that turns you on."

"What if he is?" I asked daringly, raising my chin up. "What would you do about it?"

I glanced at his hands as he gripped his beer more and my lips parted. Was he mad? Pissed? Annoyed? I shook my head a bit, telling myself I shouldn't even care about what Niall Horan thought anyway, and got up again, taking quickly the direction of the bathroom.

"Wait, Y/N!"

I looked behind me and frowned when I noticed Niall following me and finally rolled my eyes, turning around in the deserted hall before crossing my arms on my chest.

"What?"

"I just don't think... I don't think this guy likes you for the good reasons."

"Look, Niall, I'm not expecting to date anyone I meet here. Sometimes, people just want to fuck, and it's okay too." I explained a bit condescendingly. "Why do you even care who I fuck?"

I held my breath when he suddenly bent down, crashing his mouth against mine. I thought I'd be tempted to push him away but the way his lips pressed on mine made me feel dizzy. He took a step closer and my back hit the wall gently as his lips parted mine. He tasted amazing and I couldn't help but let out a low whimper. He swallowed it, kissing me deeper and my hands found the front of his shirt, gripping it tight. When he broke the kiss, he brushed his lips gently on mine and a shiver crossed my back as my eyes fluttered open.

"That's why."

"Mm, no." I let out in a whisper, shaking my head lightly. "No, you get on my nerves, and I know I get on yours, too."

"You get on my nerves because I can't stop thinking about you." he admitted in a murmur. "That's so fucking annoying. I just can't fire you, and at the same time, I can't handle myself when you're near. So I try to be rude to you. I hoped it would make me like you less."

"And how's that working for you?"

This time, his lips curled and he chuckled, making me smile too. "Clearly not good." he confessed, moving his face away as his eyes roamed on mine. "I never thought I'd have feelings for my assistant. I guess it's useless to try and deny it, now."

I tilted my head, suddenly endeared by the man that annoyed me the most only a few minutes before. "Then embrace it."

Slowly, he moved closer and leaned his forehead against mine. "Okay."

My eyes fluttered close again when he got near me and I moved my chin up until my mouth reached his again. I never thought my heart could beat that hard inside my chest, so hard that it was threatening to jump out. His hands slid from my shoulders to my arms and when he gripped my waist, I held my breath.

"I really want you." he whispered, pressing his body against mine.

I had to swallow hard when I felt him push his half-hard cock against my thigh and let out a low "Fuck." under my breath.

"I just don't want to go too fast." he whispered as I felt one of his hand move up on my stomach and brush against one of my breasts. "I want to do this right. I want to bring you on a date, get to the who you really are, and take my time to fall so deeply in love with you that I can never fall out of it."

"You're doing very good."

He smiled more and chuckled, kissing my lips gently. "Do you want to try?"

I couldn't believe what was happening and at the same time, it was not really surprising that all this annoyance towards each other was hiding something else. It was so obvious now that I had liked him since day one and just didn't want to admit it to myself.

"Yes."

#niall horan #niall horan fluff #niall horan oneshot #niall horan blurb #niall horan fluff oneshot #niall horan fluff blurb #blurbs #my fanfics #my blurbs

[takaraphoenix]

Ofc I'm excited for the new chapter phoe, I am so starved for Jason content that even the suggestion that I'm going to get some (esp QUALITY Jason content like urs) makes me unbelievably giddy and I'm fr checking my phone to see when it's gonna be update time in ur timezone 🥺✨

Oh gosh, you're so sweet. Your messages always delight me a lot and since Jason took kind of a backseat today in favor of the build up of the secret reveal, yooou get a small, Jason-focused flash-forward into their future. ;) also because I actually have time to write again fdklghaöklh

--

Sky-blue eyes were large as they quickly flew over the words in front of him. His mouth was in a small oh-shape as he absorbed every little bit of information that was given to him. And then it just ended.

To Be Continued...

No, no, no. That couldn't possibly be! This was too exciting, it couldn't just end like that! His sister next to him made a squealing sound as she also reached the ending. She grabbed the comic book out of his hand and tried turning the page, hoping against hope there would be more.

"No, no, no," she whined frustrated and threw herself back onto the bed.

After a moment, her brother mirrored her. The two groaned and whined until their current babysitter walked in, a frown on his face. He brushed hazel-hair out of his face.

"What's gotten into you lot?"

"The comic ends, uncle Tyson! It just ends! And the next issue won't come out until next month, but it just got really, really exciting!" he heard his sister complain.

"Grace is right! This isn't fair. Cliffhangers are unlawful and inhumane!"

Tyson laughed and approached the bed to sit down between his niece and nephew. "I think I gotta talk to your parents about your definition of unlawful and inhumane, Jacky."

Jackson huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, pout in place and sky-blue eyes dark like a brewing storm. When it darkened in the room and rumbling could be heard from outside, Tyson frowned concerned and cleared his throat.

"You guys do know that you could just... ask your parents, right? They were right there. They know exactly how all of this unfolded," offered Tyson.

He took the comic-book - issue 13 of The Adventures of the New Olympians - and closed it to hold up the cover, where Jason di Angelo was standing heroically in his Blue Lightning uniform, fighting a giant space-octopus. Jackson frowned and turned to look at his sister.

"I dunno", admitted Grace. "Dad is like... dad. Not Blue Lightning. Dad sings bad old boyband songs in the shower and steals daddy's blue cookies and baby-talks to Mrs. O'Leary."

"Yeah. These comics are totally fiction, uncle Tyson", agreed Jackson seriously. "Dad's a total dork, not a superhero! He isn't like daddy and papa."

Tyson huffed a little at that, fond smile on his lips. "He isn't now. But when push comes to shove, he always got our back in a fight. Because he could never bear standing aside if his family gets hurt. Go and ask him about it, mh."

"Tyson? Where are you?", called his wife from somewhere else. "Jason is here to pick up the kids!"

"Ah, your cue, pipsqueaks", Tyson grinned and ruffled both their hair.

Grace quickly grabbed her Wisdom Warrior doll, while Jackson took the comic book, both kids quickly running out the room and downstairs. Grace just lept off a few steps before the end of the stairs, jumping straight into her dad's awaiting arms. Jason was smiling softly, hugging her tightly. Her blonde curls bounced as he whirled her around once.

"Hey there, kids. Had fun with uncle Tyson and auntie Ella?"

"Ye--es", chorused Jackson and Grace.

"Thanks for watching them, guys", Jason turned to offer Tyson and Ella a small, grateful smile. "With Perce and Nico still in Canada about that... maple syrup fuled robot apocalypse... it's been kind of stressful. And then Thabi got into trouble at school and-"

"No need to explain, or to thank us", assured Tyson, patting his brother-in-law on the back. "That's what brothers are for, Jay. We got your back. Besides, we love those two."

With a last smile aimed at the couple, Jason herded the twins out of the house and toward the car. He made sure their seatbelts were fastened before he got in the driver's seat and started the car. In the rear-mirror, he could see the twins whispering with each other, but neither speaking up. He decided against asking, for now. They'd tell him whatever was on their minds when they were ready.

Once at home, both of the kids ran off to their rooms and Jason was so busy with things around the house that he nearly forgot about the kids' strange behavior. That's what they got for having a ridiculously big house and stables, but then again, they did need the grounds to allow their companions enough space to roam free. He'd just finished feeding Tempest and Blackjack when the twins suddenly stood behind him, serious, matching frowns on their faces.

"We have come to the agreement that we should ask you", declared Grace.

A nine-year-old with pigtails had no right to look this serious. Jason smiled a little at that, nodding and waiting for more.

"We know that daddy and papa are superheroes", continued Jackson as the three headed back toward the house. "But you aren't! You're just... dad. Right?"

"Ouch", Jason huffed out a little laugh. "Just dad, huh?"

"I mean, you're normal, like us", corrected Grace with a frown, motioning at the posters at the walls when they entered the living room. "You're only a hero on the big screen! Not in real life!"

The smile on Jason's lips turned more nostalgic. His dorky, dorky husbands had decided to plaster every wall that wasn't filled with family pictures with posters of his movies. Right now, Grace was motioning very decidedly at The Twelve Tasks of Hercules. Hercules was his most popular role, a fictional superhero clearly supposed to be the son of Zeus but never actually name-dropping Zeus in the movie series. Or the spin-off TV show. It had spanned a whole cinematic universe about fictional superheroes after they had introduced Theseus, a water-powered superhero who was a thinly veiled homage to Percy, in one of the movies. Theseus got his own solo-movie, then a sequel and over the years, they had established more and more heroes in this universe. Jason was so incredibly proud of it, not just because he played the hero who started it all, but because he was also creatively involved; he had pitched the character of Theseus.

Sitting down on the couch, he let his eyes wander just a little. A poster of his first big breakout role as Jace Herondale in a TV show adaptation of The Mortal Instruments... naturally, Percy had chosen the poster where Jason posed shirtless, showing off the runes.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?", asked Jason softly.

"I wanna take over granny's bakery", declared Jackson with a puffed-out chest. "I'll learn all of her recipes and become the best baker in all of New York."

"I dunno, dad. I'm nine", huffed Grace with a pointed look. "Maybe I'll become a great fashion designer like auntie Silena! Or a teacher like auntie Annabeth. Or president. Or astronaut. Oh! Or doctor."

"Okay, okay", Jason interrupted her, laughing. "But neither of you wants to become a superhero like your dads?"

The twins exchanged a silent look before shaking their heads and Jackson answered. "No. It looks scary. It looks cool to watch but I'd be super scared."

Jason nodded slowly. "But if Gracie was in danger, like really, really scary danger, what would you do?"

"I'd help her!", exclaimed Jackson immediately, grabbing his sister's hand.

The smile on Jason's lips grew some. "Being a hero is really, really scary and really, really dangerous. And I never-ever wanted to be a hero. I'm not as brave as your dads when it comes to that. But when there is something very big and dangerous that your dads can't handle on their own, I'll put my own fears aside. Because you know what is just... so much scarier than being a hero? It'd be if something happened to your dads. And I couldn't help."

He knew their kids were under no illusions; they knew Nico and Percy led dangerous lives and they knew something could happen to them. Nico had already been hospitalized for a longer period of time a few years ago.

"So when they really need me, I'll be very brave to help them."

"So... So this is really real?", asked Grace softly, holding up the comic-book.

Jason snorted a little at the extremely overdone hero-pose he was striking on the cover. "It's... more or less real. There's some... made-up stuff there, because those who write these comics, they only had the news coverage to go by, they weren't actually there when we met in private and planned and talked. But yes, that happened."

Jackson straightened up at that and took the comic from his sister to open it on the last page, putting it down on Jason's lap and very decidedly pointing at the To Be Continued in the lower corner.

"How's it end!?", asked Jackson eagerly. "We don't wanna wait!"

"Ye--es! Did you save the day? Did you rescue daddy when he got abducted by the alien octopus?", wanted Grace to know, eyes large.

Laughing to himself, Jason leaned back against the couch and opened his arms, both his kids immediately snuggling up to him and eagerly awaiting the story. Jason wasn't the greatest story-teller in the family, Piper was the author, but he did his best to actually tell the story as exciting as possible. He talked and talked for over an hour and by the end of the story, both twins were deep asleep. Asleep on him, not giving him a chance to move from the couch either. Though he was tired too, so he closed his eyes, just for a second.

"I'm de--ead", groaned Percy softly and something shifted.

Jason blinked sleepily, turning his head toward the source of the voice. His face lit up when he saw Percy snuggled up to Grace from behind. When he turned toward his other side, he saw Nico behind Jackson.

"I'm sorry we were both gone, amore", whispered Nico as he leaned over to kiss Jason sweetly. "It was an all-hands-on-deck situation..."

"You don't have to explain", Jason smiled faintly. "You're the leaders of the Olympians. They rely on you. Especially now with all the newbies, they need your guidance."

"Yeah, but we promised you we'd step back some", Percy sighed frustrated.

"You can't control when a weird Canadian wants to start the robot- apocalypse", Jason chuckled amused. "I'm proud of you both. And you have been stepping back a lot."

Percy hummed in agreement, eyes slowly closing as he rested his head on Jason's shoulder. Within moments, he was out cold. So the entire family was going to sleep on the couch today, mh?

"How did your meeting go?", asked Nico, sounding sleepy.

"Good. I mean. Really good. The studio is still so stubbornly thinking that female superheroes won't sell, but we finally pushed through. We got the Helen of Troy spin-off greenlit", replied Jason with a puffed out chest.

Nico smiled at him, kissing his cheek. "Good. I'm proud of you."

And then he yawned and snuggled closer to Jason. It filled Jason with warmth to just sit here, with his husbands and children, in their home. Safe and happy. Yes, he worried for Nico and Percy when they were out there, but he also knew that this was their dream and they loved their job. And ever since the twins had been born, the two really had stepped back, leading from the headquarters and training new heroes, only going out themselves if it was an emergency and the others needed help. Jason couldn't be mad about that, wouldn't want to be either, because he could never resent his husbands for living their dream - they had, after all, always supported Jason and his dream. Even when Jason would be in another country for months filming a movie, they never complained, they took care of the kids and were proudly at his side during the premieres.

"I love you two", whispered Jason, carefully kissing the top of Nico's head on one of his shoulders and the top of Percy's head on the other. "My heroes."

#Jercico #Fic: The Legacy of the Big Three #Jason Grace #Fanfiction #Phoe's Tumblr Drabbles #mmmh does that count? yeha I guess

[toothlessturtle21]

Nary A Nightmare

Sup, it’s me again, back with another one shot upload. Could be glacier, but was written as a healthy bromance. TW: mentions of guns, temporary disability, temporary sensory deprivation ---

A bullet between the eyes leaves Zane down and out during a fight, leading to some intimate moments between himself and the Earth Ninja as Jay toils away in his wires.

Zane didn't hate many things, or even many people. He considered himself a rational person, who knew that there was a bright side to pretty much everything.

But lying on Jay's workbench with no sight or hearing? That he hated.

He had gotten shot in the head by a lucky burglar who just happened to hit the one member of the team that wouldn't die from a bullet between the eyes. However, just because he was a robot didn't mean he wouldn't be affected. So after being held up on shaky legs and carried home by someone (he was too out of it to say for sure), he was placed on the familiar cold metal of the table in Jay's room dedicated to his inventing. Someone was holding his left hand, his right neatly folded on his stomach. Jay's careful fingers were poking around the wound, sharp stings registering as Zane tried to keep his expression neutral to avoid any hesitance.

Truth be told, although so much pain was ricocheting around his body he felt like he could throw up, he was thankful that it was him going through this as opposed to one of the others being shot dead. The thought of any one of his teammates disappearing so quickly from his life made him sicker than his injury, so he grit his teeth as a new wave of hurt hit him square between the eyes, and the fingers wrapped around his own tightened in response to his twitch.

He assumed the one holding his hand was Cole, because the fingers felt big and calloused from years of mountain climbing and training. The Earth Ninja had always hated to see his teammates in pain, anyway. The hand seemed to flex at the same time Zane felt any pain, as if the person it belonged to was flinching in his place. After a bit, Jay's hands left his head, and he felt his hand being moved off his stomach to his side, and his shirt being slid up to his collarbone. He shivered at the cool air settling over his skin, and Jay opened the torso panel with practiced ease, Zane desperately wanting to ask Jay what was going on for himself.

Zane must've looked in pain, because a hand equal in size to the one holding his own reached up to rest on his cheek, warm and a little rough. The android tilted his head to lean into the touch, mostly to reassure its owner that the gesture was understood. Truth be told, it was nice to have a distraction from the piercing pain in the center of his skull. It was truly bizarre to have two completely opposite sensations occurring at once: the warm fingers cupping his face, and the cold air and quick hands working to map out his chest. Zane wasn't sure how much more of the prodding he could take, and he couldn't help but curl in on himself, Jay forcibly holding his waist down to keep him from jostling any work done.

The hand on his face lifted for a moment, probably out of confusion, as Jay was never shy in vocalizing his frustrations. The Ice Ninja squeezed the hand interlocked with his own, and his face was once again graced by the fingers, and this time a thumb stroked across his cheekbone in an attempt to calm the android down. As Zane was forced to lay there with two pairs of hands on him, he felt like crying, turning his face into the palm on his cheek to hide his trembling expression, and the hand gently massaged the skin it could reach in pity. He wondered what was taking Jay so long to get to the point of the opening of his panel.

His question was answered when one finger circled the power-off switch in the bottom corner, asking silent permission, a signal long since established between the two. Zane grimaced, but nodded as best he could without jostling his injuries too much, and his mind clicked off as the switch was flipped.

He woke up resting on somebody, although he wasn't quite sure who. It took him a moment to realize it, but the sounds of a show playing in the background caught his attention, making him shift hazily, still not running at maximum capacity. The person he was resting on started a little, making a soft noise of surprise. Zane's head was resting on their chest, so he could feel the rumble of their voice as they spoke.

"Can you hear me?"

Ah, it was Cole. But that didn't tell him how he got here in the first place.

"Yes, I can," Zane replied, blinking rapidly. "But I cannot see you."

"Yeah," Cole sighed through gritted teeth, patting Zane on the back twice. "Jay got your audio working again, but he said something was fried in your vision, so he's getting those parts in a few days. You're good other than that, though."

The android deflated once more, and then remembered where he was.

"If you don't mind me asking, why am I reclined on your chest?"

"You looked like you were having a nightmare of some kind when Jay let you come out of sleep mode. You kept twitching a little and making noises. So we just had you lay down on me while you woke up naturally. It worked, so there's something. The others are going grocery shopping, since you can't really cook right now."

Now that Zane thought about it, he did remember what he saw as he began to wake up. He couldn't see anything, and he was forced to listen as his friends cried for help around him, but he was immobile. He shuddered at the memory, but Cole didn't comment. Neither ninja moved, unsure if they were supposed to stay cuddled on the couch or if it was breaking some sort of unspoken bro-code.

"What do I look like now?"

"Huh?"

"Are my eyes themselves damaged, or is it just the circuitry?"

"Oh, uh..."

Zane felt a gentle hand on his forehead, tilting his head back for a better look.

"I mean, maybe they're a bit duller, but that's probably because they're not focusing on me."

"Interesting," Zane nodded, even though his tone implied it was anything but. His system refused to speed up, keeping his processors running at a less than optimal rate, and Zane slumped back into Cole. "Were you the one with Jay earlier?"

"Y- yeah," Cole sounded bashful, and Zane waited quietly for him to continue. "Look, dude, I know you were under a lot of stress and your head probably hurt like a bitch, but hopefully you didn't mind that I was keeping you company. I couldn't exactly ask, y'know?"

"No, I appreciated it," Zane spoke truthfully, and he got the feeling that Cole was dying to ask what he had dreamt about, and what it was like being stuck with no senses other than touch. "It was rather frightening, being alone in my own head."

That caught Cole's attention. Zane was shifted up so both ninja were sitting against the arm of the couch, the android still between Cole's legs.

"What was it like?" Cole asked quietly, his voice much closer to Zane's ear in this new position. "That is, if you don't mind-"

"No, no, I understand. I will indulge your curiosity to the best of my abilities."

Cole stayed quiet while Zane collected his thoughts, hands slightly shaky from the memories.

"A lot of it was pain and worry. Keep in mind that anything I tell you will be clouded by my sensors being overloaded from data. I will admit that I was scared, knowing that what was a moderate fix for me would have been deadly to any of you. Since Jay powered me off when I was still feeling those fears, I experienced distorted "what if" realities while in standby."

"Aw, jeez, Zane-"

"These were only amplified by my partial sensory deprivation, as it were. It was difficult for me to feel grounded in my surroundings aside from the pain, which is why I am especially grateful for your assistance there," Zane gave a small smile, and Cole hummed pleasantly in response.

"I just couldn't stand seeing you in so much pain, it was really unsettling seeing you so... vulnerable. Plus, there was a minute or so after you were shot that we thought we'd lost you," Cole interrupted himself to clear his throat, glad Zane couldn't see the mist gathering in his eyes. "Just please try not to die, okay?"

"Not planning on it," Zane promised, and shifted a little on Cole's chest. "To be fully honest, my systems are not fully up to speed, and I should probably resume a resting state. Since you seem to observe that physical contact lessens any abnormalities in my sleep cycle, would you do me the favor of keeping my company?"

"Is that just a fancy way of asking me to hold you while you sleep?"

"Perhaps," Zane mused, practically hearing the smirk in Cole's voice. "Now if you don't mind, I will be entering standby shortly."

Cole laughed for a second, shuffling them down a little so Zane was more reclined. He wrapped an arm around Zane's back, exhaling deeply as he decided to nap alongside his icy friend.

"G'night, Zane," The Earth Ninja mumbled absentmindedly, and the android nodded minutely into his chest.

"It is the late afternoon, but goodnight, Cole."

The others returned later to find the two snuggled on the couch, none of the crew having the heart to wake either of them up, so they slept peacefully through the evening with nary a nightmare between them.

#ninjago #ninjago jay #ninjago zane #ninjago cole #zangst #fanfiction #AO3 fanfic #ninjago fanfiction #ao3 #toothlessturtle21 writes #temporary blindness #nightmare #bromance

[iwantthedean]

I’d Like to Know

Into Your Eyes Heart Won’t Lie I Can’t Love You Back

Summary: After months of not seeing each other, you ask Jensen to meet you on the beach one more time.  Pairing: Jensen x Reader Word Count: 1530 (Excluding Lyrics) Warnings: Leaving someone at the altar, angst.  Square Filled: Song Fic for BTZ Bingo. Song inspo is Scratch by Kendall Payne. A/N: This wraps up this lovely little mini-series! I’ve linked the first three parts at the top of this post for easy access to catch up! I’m not going to make any promises about writing/posting more regularly, but I’ll do my best :)

It’s a big girl world now/Full of big girl things/And everyday/I wish I small

Standing at the altar in a white dress, your hands in that of a man you loved, who loved you, the world started to close in on you. All you could think about was the ring on your finger — the one like the one Jensen had offered you — and the man in front of you who wasn’t Jensen. 

“Y/N, do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish …”

There were more words, but your ears drowned them out. Your vision blurred before coming back, and your heart raced in your chest. The pastor must have gotten to the question part of the vows. Your fiancé squeezed your hands, bringing your attention back. 

You looked at the man in front of you, looked at everyone seated in the pews of the church, waiting for your answer. When you looked back to your fiancé, you shook your head. A minute movement, barely detectable; the words you spoke next confirmed the gesture. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, “I can’t.”

I am tired of hearing myself speak/Do you ever get weary/Do you every get weak

Months had passed since Jensen had seen her in that bridal shop — and by chance, at that. He had moved into a smaller place, avoided the coffee shop, avoided any news of her wedding. That event had been scheduled for weeks ago. Hell, he had avoided even driving by the beach because it made him think of her. 

Needless to say, when he received a message from her, asking to meet on the beach again, Jensen balked. He read the message three times, then set his jaw and continued on with what he was doing. He had some scripts and interviews to review before meeting Jared for drinks later, and he was on a deadline. 

Of course, her message kept him from concentrating. The interviews had already been okayed by his agent, and the scripts were going to have to wait. He showered, dressed in a plain tee and jeans, and sprayed on a little cologne before finding his keys and heading out to find Jared. 

“Oh, you’re in rare form tonight,” Jared snorted, detecting right away that something was off. He ordered a round and waited for Jensen to say something. 

“I’m fine.” He picked a couple peanuts from the bowl between them and cracked them open, eating the meats and tossing the shells to the floor. He thanked the bartender for his beer and took a good gulp from the cold glass. 

Jared took a regular-sized drink from his own pint glass. “Yeah, I don’t buy that. Might as well tell me now, Jay. Get it over with.”

With a frustrated groan, Jensen opened his phone to Y/N’s message. He looked at it again, shook his head, and slid the phone Jared’s direction. 

“It’s been what, like, a year?” Jensen scoffed. “Now she’s just going to message and ask to meet me? You know how close I was to being over this girl?”

“Yeah, so close.” Jared rolled his eyes. 

Jensen frowned. “What?”

“You’re about as over her as you are over drinking.”

Jensen rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

Jared slid the phone back to Jensen. “I think you should at least meet with her and see what she has to say. Why are you so angry about it anyway?”

“She’s married, Jared,” Jensen felt the need to remind his friend. “What, is she going to rub it in how happy she is with some other guy? And I’m not angry about it, I’m … I’m …”

“Wanna know what I think?”

Jensen shrugged, drinking down more of his beer and dipping into the peanut bowl again. “Please, enlighten me.”

“I think you’re afraid of seeing her again at all, because you’re not over her. I think you know you’re never gonna be over her. I think seeing her again is going to wreck you, and you know that.” Quieter, Jared added, “And I think we both know you put a little extra cologne on tonight hoping to pick up someone you can take home and make you forget for the night.” 

Shaking his head, Jensen opted not to answer — mostly because he knew Jared was entirely correct. He chugged down the rest of his beer and waved the bartender down for another round. He looked down the counter at the pretty blonde already giving him eyes; Jensen smiled back. 

Jared shook his head and finished off his beer, gratefully accepting the second one placed in front of him. “She’s not gonna chase Y/N away. You’ve just got to go see her, man. Get some closure, or whatever. Do me a favor — quit looking at that girl over there. Text Y/N back.”

It took the rest of his beer and a shot of tequila, but Jensen finally took Jared’s advice and messaged her a time and place. Maybe Jared was right — maybe he needed the closure. Then he could finally move on with his life, in both head and heart. 

I’m so afraid/Of what you’ll say/I’d like to know if you’d be open/To starting over from scratch/I’d like to know if you’d be open/To give me a second chance

“Your hair’s longer.”

Pulling your attention from the waves and the wind you had been so concentrated on, you turned to your left. Jensen was walking toward you, hands in his pockets. Your breath caught in your throat; it had been too long since you set eyes on him. With a brief, grateful smile you walked through the sand towards him. 

“Thank you for meeting me,” you started. “I wasn’t sure if you would. It’s been a long time.”

Jensen nodded. “It has. I wasn’t going to meet you, honestly, but Jared thought the closure would be good for me.”

“Closure, right.” You pressed your lips into a thin line, looked down at your hands, wringing in front of you. “I guess that’s something maybe we both need.”

“Married life not going so well?” The disdain in Jensen’s voice was painfully detectable. 

You swallowed. “I didn’t get married, Jensen. I couldn’t. I was there, at the altar, and the only thing I could think of was that it should have been you.” Your hands dropped to your sides, balled into angry fists. Tears glazed over your eyes. “How did you do it? A few visits in a coffee shop, some phone calls … it seems like nothing, but it was so much more than that! You made me fall in love with you, but it wasn’t just me. There was her too and I — I just —”

There words ran out on you. You were having this spectacular rant, and then you met his eyes, just the once, and you were undone. Wrecked. You covered your face with your hands as the tears fell, uncontrolled. Even after all of this time apart, all this time of denying him, you couldn’t escape the hold that Jensen had on you — had on your heart. 

Gentle hands pulled yours away from your face. You hesitated to open your eyes and look up, but when you did, Jensen was there. His countenance had softened; he wiped your tears away with one hand, the other settled on your hip. 

“I’ve never stopped loving you,” he confessed. “I wanted to believe that I did, that I was over it. But I got your text message, and I got scared. I was afraid that seeing you again would set me back to square one. I thought maybe the closure would help, but now you’re here, you’re not married. Why did you ask me here?”

You let out a deep breath. “Because you let her go a while ago and I just — I wanted to know — without the chase, without the drama, in these ordinary circumstances, after the time that’s passed … could you still love me?”

The question was more difficult to ask than you had expected. Your voice broke on those last five words, too afraid that his answer would be no. You let your head hang, resting slightly against Jensen’s chest — more a result of his nearness than a purposeful action. 

Jensen put his hands on your shoulders and dipped his head to kiss your hair. He rubbed his hands up and down your arms a couple of times before quietly saying your name. 

“Look at me,” he beckoned. 

It took a deep breath and some courage, but you did as he asked. You sniffled back the tears, even though looking into his eyes made them flow harder, it seemed. 

Jensen’s mouth tugged into a soft smile, and his hands rested on either side of your neck. His thumbs caressed your jawline. Your hair whipped around in the wind; Jensen used one hand to push it away from your face. 

“I don’t think you understand, Y/N, that there’s no possible way for me not to love you. I’ve tried, very unsuccessfully, for too long now.”

 The tears that fell now were happy ones. You wrapped your arms tight around his neck as you cried, months and months of tension relieved with his one statement. Jensen held you tight around the waist, kissing your temple and promising you that everything was going to be all right from here on out.

The Whole Shebang: @illisea​ @ashleymalfoy​ @busybee612​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @sherlock44​ @ravenesque​ @feelmyroarrrr​ @atc74​ @theplaidshirtmadness​ @blacktithe7​ @moonlessnight14​ @kitchenwitchsuperwhovian​ @smoothdogsgirl​ @melbrandes​ @xtina2191​ @spnbaby-67​ @emoryhemsworth​ @goldenolaf25​ @gabriels-trix​ @applesugar88​ @rainflowermoon​ @deansgirl215​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​ @calaofnoldor​ @jerkbitchidjitassbutt​ @sleepylunarwolf​ @chances-and-miracles​ @sandlee44​ @foxyjwls007​ @cpag7​ @deanwanddamons​ 

Jack Attack: @tiffanycaruso​ @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish​ @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk​

Two for the Money: @jayankles​ @akshi8278​ @supernatural-jackles​ @adoptdontshoppets​

#BTZbingo #supernatural #fanfiction #jensen #jensen ackles #reader insert #jensen x reader #jensen ackles x reader #spnfanficpond #jelly fish #iwantthedeanupdates #iwantthedean's tag team #all my lovelies #that's my queue

[bi-nick-carraway]

Blinking Lights and Starry Eyes

Chapter 1

Summary: A 1950s high school natsby au. Read to find out ;)

Warnings: brief mention of cigarettes and alcohol, some vage sexual implications, reference to racism, Tom Buchanan

Note: This is not going to be an accurate representation of the 1950s. I tried (even tho I didn't really). I haven't written a fic in a long time and with the quarantine I figured why not. Hope you enjoy! (Also if someone could teach me how to do the "under the cut" thing is be eternally grateful. I use mobile and can't figure anything out.)

    The hallways were, as usual, gray, dull, and boring. It seemed as if time was moving slower every day. I never did enjoy school that much, despite what others might have thought. I was always studying and reading, never late to class, never partied, never spent my parents’ money on cigarettes or alcohol. I never even wanted to. School, parties, all of it just seemed boring to me. I wanted out of it all.

    My cousin Daisy, on the other hand, practically owned the school. Everywhere she went, she was treated like some kind of queen. Why she attended a regular public school like everyone else, I could never figure out. Expensive prep schools probably weren’t her idea of fun. Although her current idea of fun was named Tom Buchanan. She had gone through no small number of sweethearts, several of which her parents would never even think to approve of, but her relationship with Tom felt more permanent than any of the others. His family’s money probably had something to do with it, or maybe she got pregnant a little early. Either way, I was getting tired of seeing her following that jerk around.

    Unfortunately for me, that jerk was hell bent on making every day of my life miserable. Maybe he was making an effort to befriend Daisy’s relative, maybe he just had a natural attraction towards our family. Some days I wouldn’t have minded if it was the latter. His head may have been empty but his thighs sure looked hot in those shorts he always wore running.

I had just gotten out of my Advanced Composition class when he approached me, wearing a hideous blue and orange striped sweater and that wide aggressive grin that made me want to turn and walk away. But I forced a smile in return, even when he slapped my shoulder so hard I had to force myself to not wince.

“Nick!” Tom greeted, voice deep and unintentionally threateningly, at least I think it was unintentional.

“Hi, Tom,” I responded. As always, my voice weakened in the presence of a man stronger physically than myself, though Tom wasn’t exactly my first choice. “What’s up?’

“I need some advice.” That was surprising. “Have you heard about the new kid?” I shook my head. “Figures. Well, this kid, I think his name’s Jay Gatsby, everyone coulda sworn he was a dropout. Used to go here awhile back, then left out of nowhere. Now he’s back with hair full of a bucket of grease and girls falling for him left and right.”

“And why do you need my advice?”

“Here’s the thing. Gatsby and Daisy used to hang out before he left, but he didn’t have any money so no one felt sorry when it ended with them. But now he’s back and I’ve heard he’s made a ton of cash.”

“Tom,” I stopped him. “I understand your concern, but Daisy has no intention of leaving you for some guy with grease in his hair. I promise.” When the bell rang I bit back a swear. “I need to get to Algebra. Good luck, Tom.” I started towards my class, knowing full well that Tom had no intention of attending next period.

“You coming to The Green Light later?” Tom called after me.

“Maybe, but I have a report due.” Without any further comments, I walked quickly to my class to avoid Tom’s guilt trip. I didn’t want to hang out with any of his football buddies, but I knew Daisy liked seeing me there while she waited tables, and I hadn’t been in weeks. The report wasn’t a lie, but eventually I figured one night at the diner wouldn’t hurt.

One night wouldn’t hurt. That’s what I tried to convince myself as I sat between two giants in letterman jackets. Did it feel nice to be sandwiched between two men for the first time in weeks? Sure, but nothing coming out of their mouths was attractive at all. Tom, in particular, liked to talk garbage about black. He had read a book defining the scientific evidence of white superiority. I smiled and nodded when needed, but I felt awful for the woman working behind the counter. She was polite and served them drinks, and then had to hear all this trash about her skin color.

“Hello, boys,” Daisy said as she rushed over to check in. Any vulgar talk stopped immediately in the presence of an attractive female. I tried not to roll my eyes, mainly because I loved my cousin and didn’t want to offend her. “Anything I can get you?”

“No thanks, darling, but the service here is great,” Tom flirted and winked. The rest of them agreed, and I tried my best to smile at her. Smiling at my dear cousin was hard to do while surrounded by such horrible people. More than half of them wanted nothing more than to bed her, even when she was Tom’s girl. I guess I couldn’t blame them. If I liked girls and if Daisy wasn’t my cousin, I could see why seeing her in that little green skirt and coffee-stained apron would make a guy go crazy. Her gold curls falling down her shoulders certainly didn’t help. The boys around were practically drooling, except for Charlie sitting next to Tom. That wasn’t any kind of mystery. I knew for a fact that Charlie had a very sweet, very kissable mouth. I sent him a smirk for the fun of it and forced back a laugh when he glared and his cheeks went red.

“Nick,” Daisy started, snapping my attention away from the flustered jock, “why don’t you start working here? Sally just left for college, and I know you don’t have anything else going on.”

“Thanks for pointing out my social life, Dais,” I said, getting a laugh out of some of the guys, “but you know I have to study. I have three tests coming up next week.”

“He’s a slave to the system, baby,” Tom said with a good-natured grin. Daisy rolled her eyes.

“We could still use a few extra hands,” Daisy said.

“I’ll think about it,” I said. She knew I was teasing her. She always did.

After a while, people started filtering out. It had gotten late. One of the guys was having drinks at his place, but I politely declined in favor of some last minute studying. I stayed a little longer. I could have dragged Charlie behind the diner for some fun, but he didn’t look like he was in the mood for it. I’m not sure I was in the mood for it, either, probably just had some steam to blow off.

When I finally decided to leave the hazy green light inside the diner, I walked out into the cool evening air. It felt nice, and it was just starting to smell like spring. Winter that year hadn’t been harsh at all, but I was still looking forward to the warmer weather.

As I paused for a moment to appreciate the fresh air, something caught me off guard. I saw a young man leaning against a beat up Harley. He wore a leather jacket over a white shirt, and his blond hair was slicked back with one stubborn lock hanging in the middle of his forehead. His beauty is what I noticed first. What I noticed next was his longing stare directed at The Green Light Diner. I shrugged it off as some creep waiting for a cute girl to come out, despite how poetic the image appeared. I walked away, hoping he didn’t catch me staring at him, and headed home. The stars were coming out, and the back of my mind hoped I would see that beautiful young man again.

tags: @low-key-aesthetic

#the great gatsby #tgg #jay gatsby #nick carraway #james gatz #natsby #the great gatsby fanfiction #1950s au #second chapter to be posted soon

[ajadedflame]

JADE > BIO > STATS // TEMPLATE SPRINGBOARD >

REMEMBER THINGS MAY POTENTIALLY DEVIATE FROM WHAT IS SHOWN IN THIS BIOGRAPHICAL. DEVELOPMENT OF MUSE IS ALWAYS ONGOING AND PREFERRED IN ACTUAL PLOT.

STATISTICAL BIO

FULL NAME NAME: Jade Grace Winthrope

NICKNAMES: Jai

AGE: 27

D.O.B: April 9, 2012

BIRTHPLACE: Howell, MI

CURRENT RESIDENCE: Detroit, MI

PLACEMENT: Apartment 3rd floor

GENDER: Female

PRONOUNS: She/Her

ORIENTATION: Heterosexual

AFFILIATION: DPD

JOB TITLE: Forensic Analyst

FACE CLAIM: Shailene Woodley

HAIR COLOR: Brunette / Sometimes Dyes Blonde

EYE COLOR: Green

HEIGHT: 5′8″ / 170 cm

BUILD: Slim

LANGUAGE(S): English

ACCENT: American

TATTOOS: Small Vine // Left Wrist

PIERCINGS: Ears

STYLE: Casual Dress, Comfort, Chiffon, Lace, Moderate formal: Blouses, Long sleeved Tops, jeans, fashionable trousers, athletic // yoga, sneakers & flats, sun dresses, heels & long dresses in formal settings only; Accessories: watch, studded earrings, earphones, phone, forensic data pad

USUAL EXPRESSION: Pleasant, Open, Smiling

ADDICTIONS: Tea (Chamomile, Earl Grey, Herbal, Oolong, White)

ALCOHOL USE: Not a heavy drinker at all. Will do it on occasion and/or socially

DRUG USE: Nope // Not if you count Advil for headaches

EXTRAS:

SIGN: Aries

ELEMENT: Fire sign but personally leans toward Earth

MBTI: ESFJ

TEMPERAMENT: Phlegmatic

ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good

HOGWART’S HOUSE: Ravenclaw

FACTION: Erudite

PRIMARY VICE: Envy // at times Jade envies people who have no care in the world, no problems or worries and sometimes wonders if it would make her life easier to feel the same way

PRIMARY VIRTUE: Charity // she tries to be generous and kind to people even if some might not deserve it

FAVES:

WEATHER: Spring

COLOR: Green

MUSIC: New Age, Alternative, Folk

MOVIES: Adventure, Romance, Film Noir, Science/Criminology Documentaries

SPORT: Does Yoga count?

BEVERAGE: Tea

FOOD: Pasta // Italian cuisine

ANIMAL: Dogs, Horses

POSITIVE TRAITS

Determined

Friendly

Honest

Romantic

NEGATIVE TRAITS

Impulsive

Pessimistic

Quick-Tempered

Stubborn

GOALS

Working efficiently for DPD

Networking with colleagues

Acquiring further knowledge/on site skills in forensics

Cracking a big case with extensive DNA analysis

Connecting with more people

Finding love // romantic at heart

FEARS

Losing family

Not being good enough at her job

Unable to find her true purpose in life

friends turning their back // she had a bad past experience

Losing any person she cares for

HOBBIES:

Yoga / Jogging

Book collecting: Physical, Classic Lit, Science Textbooks, Criminology &     Forensics Encyclopedias

Sketching: A little here and there for relaxation

Swimming: If only she could get out of the city to a beach

Horse Riding // grew up on a farm with two chestnuts

FAMILY:

MOTHER - Rebecca Winthrope née Stevens (Status: Alive)

FATHER -  Matthew Winthrope (Status: Deceased) // car accident

SIBLINGS -  N/A (She’s a lonely only)

PETS -  pup beagle named Buster as a child

RELATIONSHIPS:

EX COLLEGE BOYFRIEND - He will remain nameless.

FORMER BEST FRIEND - Natalie Baker // Hasn’t seen her since college days

DPD  ASSOCIATES - Varies but most she gets along with.

OC’S - Jade is an OC herself. Give her OC friends, platonic, enemies, etc.

BIOGRAPHICAL

EARLY:

Jade grew up out of the city in a ranch house surrounded by Michigan’s natural beauty. Her parents made a living farming produce for the buyer’s market even as economic hardships set into the futuristic state. She was often surrounded by nature, growing fond of the few horses her father trained on the side and kept on the farm. As a young girl it was too easy to develop an affinity for equestrian and she loved to groom those two chestnuts. They were her biggest animals growing up and not just in size. Taking care of them was a lot of work but the family also called a mini Beagle named Buster part of the family.

Her childhood was honestly simple living. No bustle of any city to deal with at the time. Everything was fairly normal, close to both of her parents and several cousins who would come visit during summers from across the border in Canada.

Being a small town kind of girl had its perks in ways. Her early life is not exciting. There were not any  hardships she could honestly say had a negative impact on her growing up. While some might see this as her having the easy life, Jade is grateful. There are so many things could have gone wrong. Luckily for her she didn’t have to go through that.

LATER:

A dream was making it to college to study forensic sciences. She honestly got hooked on the subject at an early age. Honestly she is quite the film noir buff and while she didn’t head into detective work it did start to push her in that direction. Jade did her absolute best in college. It wasn’t easy by a long stretch. Focusing on work did cause some personal problems to pop up. Her boyfriend really began pressuring her constantly about their relationship. She wanted to keep things straight and not wind up an unwed single mother whose career tanked before it even began. If he honestly loved her he could wait and stop adding more onto her shoulders.

Unfortunately Jade discovered her best friend and him fooling around behind her back. It hardly stopped there. Natalie, former best friend in current life events, decided to spread rumors about Jade being the offender in this non love triangle. It was a bundle of lies that cemented Jade’s caution in developing new friendships. With everything else piling on, receiving news about her father in a serious car wreck, she just had it. Natalie was her friend since they were kids but it seemed that friendship meant little. She didn’t take any excuse her boyfriend, who will remain nameless, gave her. Jade did herself a favor and broke up with him. It certainly was the easiest thing she could do at the time as her father’s condition deteriorated. He died from the accident and it made her realize the importance of life.

While it was difficult it showed her that she should focus on the now. It made her more determined. Even if her relationship with her father grew a bit more distant as he got older she never loved him any less. Maybe it had something to do with her branching out into the big city. He just thought she wasn’t cut out for it. Even before his death, right at the cusp of her private problems there was something missing. Jade could never hold a grudge against him but she’s angry she never had a chance to finally talk about it. Instead he died before she could even make it to the hospital.

After this she threw herself into her studies. Keeping in touch with her mother was spotty. It wasn’t due to the fact she didn’t want to be there. She tried every step of the way but her mother was having a bad time of it. Depression set in and it was one thing Jade couldn’t fix. College changed her in ways. It wasn’t just life experiences there. It was all that changed during her time there. Family life certainly altered after what happened. Maybe it made her a little stronger. Who knows? She still doesn’t know herself.

CURRENT:

Jade has landed a job in the city which is completely different than her childhood roots. While she’s been out of the country for a while, especially when attending WCCCD in downtown Detroit, living in the city itself is quite the change. Currently working as a forensic tech analyst for the Detroit Police Department, she applies herself to the best of her ability and honestly loves what she does. It was always a goal of hers to make it somewhere to offer her skills in criminal analysis. She is content with the position and aims to help in whatever cases come her way.

She had a lot of opinions about the whole android revolution. Living in the center of it all in a nice but affordable apartment high rise sure put her in the thick. Watching everything unfold on the news was far too surreal. Jade always held a soft sympathetic spot for androids and was all too happy to see them win their freedom and rights.

DEPENDING ON VERSE SHE COULD HAVE INTERACTIONS WITH ANDROIDS DURING THE REVOLUTION, ESPECIALLY THOSE AT THE DPD SINCE SHE WORKS THERE. IT JUST DEPENDS ON WHAT HAPPENS DURING PLOTTING. OTHERWISE SHE WOULD HAVE JUST BEEN A WITNESS TO IT AS EVERYONE ELSE NOT DIRECTLY INVOLVED.

The forensic analyst is very pro-android. She sees them as people, sentient beings who are alive with the same purpose as humans. Getting to work alongside them is eye opening. She wants to help any she can in all honesty. She has strong opinions on this so it’s natural for her. While it might not be her job, she can certainly give as much as she does to the DPD to those outside on the street just searching for something.

Working on current cases gives her ample opportunity as more involving androids come into the equation. Using the latest tech to do her job offers the needed help but Jade finds it a challenge she’s been looking for. Currently she is mixed up in a serial killer case, using tech skills in order to synthesize evidence to track them down. While they know little of this individual’s identity, Jade is attempting to apply new standards of technology to connect and track to the perpetrator. Some factual evidence suggests they could possibly be android. This makes things difficult as she tries to decide which method is best used.

#Bio / Stats #status / bio #status / mobile use

[j-graysonlibrary]

The Xiang Chronicles: Book Two Chapter 29

Title: The Xiang Chronicles: Book Two

Author: Jay Grayson

Word Count: 98k

Genres: Fantasy, adventure, drama, LGBT+

Available on: my website

Synopsis: With another Xiang in the mix, for the first time in history, Pangu decides to reevaluate his methods and his place in the world. Along with taking his little sister Heidi as his last disciple, he also chooses to take the more political path in his efforts to end the discord throughout the land—particularly within Terra. (And gaining favor from the handsome Lord of Ultimos does not hurt.)

Heidi butts heads with everyone in the group, save Raine, and tensions are higher than ever. There are failed love confessions, in-group fighting, and demons from Kira’s past but that all comes to a head when they meet a servant of Shakti who is more than what she seems.

Could it be that the Mistresses of Shadow are more nuanced than previously believed? Or that the strict dichotomy between light and dark are, perhaps, a touch exaggerated? That and more begin to plague Pangu’s mind and his faith wavers…

Full chapter 29 under the cut

Chapter XXIX:

Birds chirped outside the window and the sun poured in, both lighting and warming the room. There was no longer any waiting—no hesitation and no escape. It was a dreadful feeling and it settled right in Pangu’s heart, weighing him down.

His hair was combed with a fine tooth, over and over, smoothing it and spreading the scented oils from root to tip. The deft hand of Ashoka worked and she remained silent for a long time as if brushing took all of her concentration.

Really, the attention might have felt nice if Pangu had been in any other situation. He closed his eyes and, fruitlessly, attempted to imagine that was the case. He traded out Ashoka’s hands and gentle strokes with the image of Viren but her hands were too small and her scent was too obvious.

Then she started to speak. “The style I will twist your hair into may pinch,” she warned.

There was some pulling as she twisted, braided, and adjusted. The style was certainly tight with almost no chance of coming undone by accident. Light, delicate chiming sounded each time his head moved once the headdress was properly fixed into place and the noise was already on Pangu’s nerves.

“Alright,” Ashoka said and stepped away from him, “Hair is done.”

Pangu was finally free to turn his head and look into the mirror on the armoire opposite the wall with the window. It was a small, circular reflection but he was able to see the elaborate style of his hair just fine. Gold wires curved and ornaments were inset into it. Beads and small, white jewels hung down around his temples like the sun sparkling against a waterfall.

“How do you like it?” The woman asked and, immediately, Pangu felt his stomach sour.

“Does it matter if I like it?” he asked back and turned around. “I must, right?”

Ashoka glanced to the ground and then cleared her throat. “Bofu will apply your makeup. His is more skilled in the area than I.”

No more was said as the disciples switched places and Pangu was forced to allow Bofu near his face with brushes and sharp pencils. As daunting as it was, he did not take advantage of his position and stab Pangu with anything or poke his eye out.

“Are you excited?” The kid asked as he painted color over Pangu’s lips, almost finished.

Of course, Pangu could not answer while he was working on his mouth so he kept silent. That, however, seemed to irritate Bofu.

“You should be grateful to marry Xiang Merra,” he grumbled, “To be given a second chance…if I were in the Xiang’s position, I would have you publicly executed.”

Pangu met his eyes as he pulled away, finally giving him the freedom to speak. “A public execution might be a better deal than having to listen to you talk.”

Bofu’s face scrunched in disgust and he walked away. “Kubja! Gongji! Come finish him off, I cannot stand looking at him any longer!”

As much as Pangu did not like Bofu’s company, he dreaded Gongji’s even more. They had not spoken since the man pinned him to the bed (not that they had especially spoken before then either) but he continued to stare at him with an intensity that was beyond unsettling.

Pangu was glad to see both the Terran and Enlil disciples enter the room together. If he had to be with Gongji at all, he was relieved to see it was not a one-on-one affair. It was still uncomfortable, naturally, to disrobe in front of him.

Gongji brought with him his wedding attire and Kubja had thin, sewn bags of dried herbs to perfume the outfit. As the Enlil disciple helped Pangu into each layer, the Terran disciple would insert a bag.

Hands, especially the backs of fingers, traced along Pangu’s skin. He closed his eyes and even winced a couple of times, as if the touch actually stung him. It may as well have. When he did open his eyes, he focused only on Kubja.

By the time they were done, he was covered from his neck to his ankles in white and gold attire, smelling of roses and the woods. It was a subtle scent but quite pleasant.

A finger grazed along the small stretch of his neck, just below his jaw. Of course, it was Gongji. The man’s eyes burned a hole into the side of Pangu’s head. “Beautiful. Like a regal Prince.”

“You are quite dashing, Pangu,” Kubja agreed as he smoothed down the trim on the front of his outer robe. “Artists will surely depict the majesty of this wedding for ages to come.”

The thought of there being paintings, carvings, or songs of this day made Pangu even more ill than he already was. There would be no way of translating, through time, that this was not something he wanted. That this was something he was forced into doing.

He gulped and looked down, at the floor.

“Come now,” Gongji’s whisper of a voice caressed his ear. “We have a wedding to escort you to.”

The other two must have left to accompany Merra, Pangu thought as they passed through the empty halls. For the fact a ceremony would soon take place in the main hall of the temple, it was eerily silent. He started to worry that the wedding was a ruse and they were simply going to kill him though it made little sense. Why waste time dolling him up just to do that?

Then the first signs of life came to his ears. Distant chatter, chimes, laughter. This was real. This was truly happening.

Pangu stopped when his escorts did and he closed his eyes as a last ditch effort to transport himself elsewhere. He thought of the crisp, colorful leaves of Kyrie’s forests. He thought of Baiya’s impassioned and rather sudden confession. How he had mentioned marriage, had it been allowed.

He should have been honest.

“Hey,” Bofu’s voice along with a snap of his fingers in front of his face jolted Pangu out of his slight trance. He and Ashoka had joined them. “Do not think of trying anything funny, understand? There is no escape here. The spirits might not be guarding the door but that does not mean you are free to run. One false move and I send word to the dungeon master to kill your friends.”

The level of threat was unnecessary. Even if Pangu wanted to flee, he was no fool—at least not entirely. He knew just how trapped he was.

“I understand,” Pangu said, hollow.

More chatter could be heard from the worship hall and just a door stood between him and the ceremony now. He looked at the wood, tracing the elaborate carvings on it with his eyes. Similar to his own focused gaze, he could feel the stares of all those around him and even the penetrating glare of Tiandi from the spirit realm.

“Do not forget to smile,” Ashoka’s voice crept in through the noise. “You are easing the peoples’ worries. Try to look happy.”

Of course, Pangu thought, how could he forget? The corners of his lips turned up although it was as if his face had never used those muscles before in his life.

***

Raine held the bars tightly and watched, as well as he could, the main guard leaning against Kira’s cell. He had been coming down to speak to him constantly, so long as he was on duty. Kira was not speaking to the other guards like this—just this one.

He seemed young, probably in his early twenties or even late teens but with a stern face. His mannerisms told Raine that he was not well equipped to do much more than guard prisoners—low grade ones. If not for the spiritual barriers on their cells, he had a feeling the guard would not be assigned to them at all.

Kira reached his arm through the bar, tapping the man on the shoulder before walking two fingers up his neck and finally poking his cheek. He and the guard shared a private chuckle and a few words that were too quiet for Raine to discern.

Raine’s grip tightened on his bars and he clenched his jaw. It was not until he heard Baiya’s whispered voice that he realized he was making any noise himself.

“Are you growling?” The Agni disciple asked.

“No,” Raine answered in, admittedly, a bit of a growl.

“Calm down,” Baiya warned but it was useless.

It was impossible to figure out why but Raine felt nothing but a seething anger when he watched the guard with Kira. He wanted to throttle him—to throw his stupid head against the side of the bricks and maybe stomp on him too.

“Hey, what did I say about all the chatter?” The irritating guard glared over at the rest of them.

Heidi rolled her eyes from within her cell. She had been silent ever since Kira assured them, during a guard change, that he had a plan. Though she could see from her position that Raine was not very convinced. He kept pushing himself as far against his cell as possible to watch as if he was waiting for everything to fall apart.

She leaned back against the cold wall and shifted her attention to Viren who sat in the middle of his cell with his eyes closed, completely still. It was almost admirable how calm he had been, she thought. He was the lord of this city and there he was, in the dungeon—a place he probably never even saw before yesterday.

As she stared at him, she realized she had not heard from Oli in a while. Perhaps he was following his cousin’s example and meditating.

“Don’t pay attention to them,” Kira brought the guard’s attention back. He pulled a few strands of the man’s hair out from under his helmet and played with them between his fingers. “What can they do anyway?”

“True,” the man muttered. “Just annoying…here we are, tryin’ to have a conversation…”

“I know.” Kira poked out his lower lip and then let his voice drop. “If only you could come in here with me. Then we could talk much closer.”

The guard’s eyes flickered about. “I could tell Mik to go on break early… He is the only one that would come check on me, you know.”

“Ugh, Mik.” Kira made a face which got the guard to laugh.

“My thoughts exactly.”

When he left, Raine felt relief wash over him and he rested his forehead against the bars. He understood that Kira was scheming but actually watching it was difficult. It was a brutal reminder of the kinds of things he did before he met Pangu and joined as a disciple. Raine had known, on some level, that Kira had been with men due to him outright saying so but he had never thought of it much until now.

Seeing how he acted with the guard, he could not help but wonder if that scrawny, ill-tempered youth was Kira’s type. If he picked him to target because of some base reason, like thinking he was attractive.

The guard reentered the room without his helmet and his outer layer of armor had been removed. Raine’s heartbeat spiked and he leaned against the bars even more than before, only able to see a fraction of the scene. Heidi could only hear the commotion and judge what was happening off of Raine and Baiya’s reactions.

It seemed Raine was very worried while Baiya looked like he was grinning so she hoped that meant things were going well.

“Step back, please,” the guard instructed before he would open the cell door.

Kira did not plan on bolting through the brief opening anyway so he walked to the back of the small space. He held his hands up in a playful surrender and smirked. “I will be good. Promise.”

The guard eagerly unlocked the door and slipped in, locking it behind him and hooking the keys to his belt. He kept his back to the door as he walked forward, a pep in his step. “So…how do we do this? I have never, ugh, actually…”

“Don’t worry,” Kira stopped him by wrapping his arms around his neck, “I understand.”

Raine could have snapped the bars in half when he saw Kira lean into the man, kissing him. He already had him in his cell—had he really needed to kiss him to seal the deal?! Raine screamed in his head. Kira surely would not go through with anything more, right?

His mind was a jumble while Heidi fought some confusion of her own. She had known that Kira was befriending the guard but she had not expected to hear kissing sounds. Had he really been flirting with him this entire time? She started to gawk as the realization settled in.

Kira brought his hands to the man’s head, holding the sides of his face with a firm but misleading grip. As if he would pull them into another, deeper kiss, he cradled his head. But he jerked it to the side, killing him before he had a moment to scream.

Really, he would have preferred to have opened with that sort of move but the guard had still been so stiff and unsure and he certainly would have let out a yell, alerting any others nearby. Kira carefully lowered his body to the ground and unhooked his keys, smirking all the while.

He unlocked himself from the cell and then hurried over to Baiya. “That was masterful,” the Agni disciple complimented as his door was pulled back.

Kira snickered and replied, “This is not my first jailbreak.” He then moved onto Raine who said nothing but gave him a loaded stare. It was not something that could be investigated at the moment so Kira simply walked to the other side and freed Heidi.

She, too, gave him a strange look but it did not look out of place on her face. “Thanks,” she said softly as she walked out.

“Excellent work, Kira,” Viren also gave his thanks with a relieved smile.

“Ah, it was nothing,” the Terran disciple waved him off before stepping to the last cell, only to find a very different sight. Unlike the rest of them who were more than eager to be let out, Oli had his back to him.

Kira was ready to ask what his problem was but when the lord-to-be turned around, dirt on his fingers and a loosened brick behind him, showing a sliver of light on the other side, everything made sense.

“What, you did not trust me?” Kira asked with a chuckle.

Oli wiped sweat from his forehead. “It does not hurt to have a backup, right?”

The others silently admired his dedication to escape, even if his method would never have worked in time. It was more than the rest of them had done.

“Come on,” Baiya broke the short silence, “If we are lucky, they should still have our weapons stored in the building. It has not been long enough for them to move them, I think.”

“Right,” Kira agreed. “We need to be quiet and avoid detection.”

“Kira,” Heidi spoke his name with a seriousness that drew everyone’s attention. Yet, when she had all eyes on her, she asked, “You like men?”

He blinked a few times. “…What?” He asked and then added, “Obviously?”

“I had no idea,” she mentioned.

“How?”

She shrugged.

Raine wanted to ask if he kissed the guard because he liked him but he knew they had no time to spare. “We need to go.”

“Yes,” Baiya and Viren agreed in nearly identical tones.

The lord did not waste another second and took the lead, showing that, perhaps, he did know his way around the dungeon to some extent. Although their way was, almost, immediately blocked.

A couple of spare guards exchanged small talk outside of a door. The disciples and lords exchanged glances and held a silent conversation. Heidi held up a finger and then leaned around the corner with a furrowed brow.

She reached out with her energy and then swiftly knocked the guards’ heads together, rendering them unconscious. “Yes,” she harshly whispered in celebration. “Our abilities are back.”

“I was hoping that seal would be fixed to the cells,” Kira mentioned as he hurried to unlock the door the men were guarding.

Inside was the storeroom and, just thrown about were their weapons. Kira had to search for all of his knives, only finding four but he supposed he did lose one in the fight in the throne room. He frowned regardless and checked with everyone else.

Heidi strapped her axe onto her back and Raine did the same with his trident. Baiya hooked his blade and chain to his hip and Viren and Oli kept a lookout.

Once everyone was back in fighting order, they crept through the remainder of the dungeon, only having to dispatch a handful of guards in order to get free. The outside air was crisp and fresh but any celebrations for their success were still far off.

Bells rang in the distance and they all turned their heads toward the center of the city where the temple of Tiandi reached to the heavens.

The wedding was beginning.

#the xiang chronicles #my novel #my writing

[moonlightstars16]

“Your Order, Universe”

30 Days Connverse Challenge

Day 14 ~ Homework and/or Job work

It was a busy day in the diner. Customers came in for the lunch rush and Connie was literally skating past them, making sure they got everything they ordered in a more sufficient amount of time. This was only a part-time job to help her with funds for things to do and such. Her parents already got her college tuition covered, but that didn't leave much for her to spend on. Which was okay, rather earning money than begging for it on little things.

Her uniform was just an apron, her name tag and hair pulled back. She added the skates to help her out. Sighing inwardly from the already tiring lunch rush, she set down a few plates of food with a smile. The family she was waiting on was so much nicer than her average customers. One can only be 'hangry'(hungry-angry), for so long before one realizes being rude is apart of their personality. Setting the sweet young boy and girl their chocolate shakes, with extra toppings because they have been so good amongst all the crazy.

"Is there anything else I can get you?"

"Oh thank you, we're good. But please tell us how you manage to keep a smile on your face even amongst all the chaos?" The mother spoke with a slight concerned expression.

"Well to tell you the truth I don't know myself." Connie joked with a laugh as the family did the same. "Actually there is one reason-" Before she could finish, the regulars around her were gesturing and informing of the familiar portal opening right in front of the diner. The family looked outside and gasped as a huge pink lion came out. The children gasping with chocolate covered mouths in awe and wonder while the parents had a terrified expression.

"What the heck?!" The father getting up quickly from his seat. She placed a hand on his shoulder with a reassuring smile.

"Oh don't worry. His name is Lion and he's such a friendly creature. In fact he's apart of my family. But if you will excuse me." She glanced at the cook's window and smiled when her gestured the 'okay' sign for her to go on break. "I have someone meeting me here." In a rush, skating down past the tables, while the regulars came up to the family to explain, and ran out the door to hug the gentle animal. Lion licked her face before allowing Connie to hug and sink into his soft mane, laying his head over her shoulder.

"How's my sweet Lion? Huh?" She kissed his head while rubbing and petting his sides and all over. Making him sit and lay on the ground, rolling into his back. She rubbed his belly ignoring the stares from the people inside.

"Funny, I thought it was 'our' sweet Lion." With a gasp she looked up and smiled brightly at a familiar half gem who stood right before her. Hands in his jacket pocket, a beanie on half on the backside of his head with a few black locks(more so in the front), around the brim.

"Steven!" A smile on his face as she leapt into his arms, whilst he held on tight and spun her around a couple of times. Her laughter is always his favorite song. Chuckling he set her down before being attacked by an intense kiss to which he complied easily. "I didn't think I would see you back so soon!" Connie exclaimed pulling back and looking up at him. Taking in all his facial features...again. She had done that every time they met since he left from Beach City almost a year ago.

"Two months is too long. Man I have so much to tell you."

"Well before you do, are you hungry?" Her question was answered when his stomach growled loudly. Making him blush with a smile, hand behind his head rubbing his neck. Without another word she grabbed his arm and lead him back into the diner. Having him sit on the counter since the rest of her shift would behind it as well. Her co-worker's took the rest of the floor.

After a good hand-washing and telling the cook the special order for him, she went back to work. "You're Order, Universes." She said semi playfully while setting down his food a few minutes later. Continuing to serve other customers while glancing at his direction every chance she could get.

Listening as Steven told her about going by Empire City to play a gig, then going to a little country town and somehow meeting an old singer his dad used to love when he was a kid. A couple of pictures texted and Greg was there in less than two hours. Which would've taken four usually. Connie giggled shaking her head.

"It was the most bizarre thing to see. My dad, fanboying in front of his favorite music artist who inspired him to go into the business. I never had seen him that happy before." Lifting the mug of hot tea to his lips, allowing the sweet, Green tea to sooth his throat.

"I think you gave your dad a great gift." Wiping up the counters from the lulled time between the lunch and dinner rush. "I'm sure he was beyond grateful."

"Oh he was, it was amazing. ... wait.... I just gave him the ultimate gift..."

"Yes?" An empty dish bucket/tray at her hip with an arm on the rim, picking up the leftover dished around the other tables.

"I can't top that! Any other gift will be put to shame. Oh what will I do?!" A hand over his forehead as he leaned back in a dramatic fashion. Earning a slap on the stomach with a rag from Connie. Steven winced and rubbed where she hit him. "Hey I was joking...well sort of."

"Steven, you can give your dad a lot of things and he'll appreciate them because it came from your heart." Sighing she picked up the dishes on the table she waited on a few hours ago. Picking up the napkin holder to clean it, she gasped upon seeing the wad of cash and a note attached with her name on it. Reading the contents she covered her mouth with tears in her eyes.

"Connie?" Steven stood up and walked over to her as she turned to him with the entire five hundred dollars in cash. "What the-?"

"The parents are supporters of Jay Hawk University. I had conversed with them about it for a bit whenever I brought them their drinks. The mom is a recruiter as well and the dad teaches too! They said as soon as I send in my applications this coming year, and my grades are good, I'll be accepted! I don't know why, they didn't really explain much other than they liked my integrity, positive attitude and creative critical thinking skills." She gestured to the skates while trying not to cry other than a few tears falling from her cheeks.

"I think that's a great reason Connie! That's awesome, I'm so proud of you!" He spoke giving her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.

"I-I'm going to Jay Hawk.... I'm going to get in!" With  a happy squeal she hid the money in her pocket and wiped away her tears. Steven smiled widely, watching as she finished her work with a huge smile and humming a catchy tune. With a smirk he went over to one of her co-workers and asked them a special favor.

An hour later Connie was off from her shift and was now spending the evening with Steven. Finding an old empty playground near her home, they swung on the swings, slid down the slides and hung on the old climbing bar structure. Careful of the rainy dew making the metal surface slippery. The fireflies were glowing with the crescent moon and stars. Illuminating the area just enough for them to see. Steven soon whistled after awhile, as they sat on a nearby bench, Lion came up with a picnic basket in hand, getting from the Dondai of course. Lifting it up to her with a smile so wide he shut is eyes.

"Steven you didn't"

"Oh but I did. Anything for my strawberry." He winked, watching as she blushed and lifted the lid up with a gasp. Chocolate covered strawberries, a couple of cheeseburgers with fries(wrapped tightly in foil so it was still warm), a couple of drinks and two slices of the diners famous pie.

"What's all this for? Because we haven't seen each other in two months?"

"Yes, but also we are pre-celebrating your future acceptance into Jay Hawk." Taking her hand in his, he gazed into her eyes. "Connie I saw you working so hard back there. I've seen you put your all into studying for a test. You deserve so much more. If I could give you the world, I would do so in a heartbeat." He lifted up with his other hand a small chocolate treat. "For now, this is the best I can do." Opening her mouth he fed it to him with a smile and loving gaze.

"Steven, you already gave me something even more special."

"I did?"

"Of course silly!" Reaching up she touched his cheek, pressing her hand against his soft skin. "I have the best boyfriend. You gave that to me. You kept your heart open even through all the hard times. Loving me like I love you. I once told you I want to be a part of your universe. Not only did you give me the world, you gave me just that. The universe... your universe."

"Oh Connie... that was kind cheesy." Rolling her eyes she moved closer.

"Just kiss me already." With a chuckle he did so, the stars shining down on them like a stage spotlight. They relished in the moment before beginning to eat within the moon's bright light. Conversing the rest of the evening as they spent every moment living in it with each other.

#30 day connverse challenge #30 days connverse challenge #30 days writing challenge #connverse #connie maheswaran #steven and connie #stevenxconnie #steven universe #steven universe future #lion #pink lion #day 14

[thefightingbull]

Hi! For the Jason Todd Christmas prompt, I'd like to request Omega verse, Jason Todd/Joey Willson. With pregnant Jay being all soft and cuddly on Christmas morning. Thank you!

The morning light was peaking through the blinds of their bedroom window. He would have stretched and probably even yawned, but his mate was nestled against him. He peeked down at the omega and smiled, enjoying the fact that despite how strong and powerful Jason was, the young man was trusting him entirely to keep their small pack safe.

Joseph “Joey” Wilson had never been so in love with someone in his life. The way Jason had taken blow after blow, both physically and psychologically through out the course of his existence was inspiring. He was pretty sure he’d fallen in love with the unusually muscular and broad shoulders omega the moment he’d taken the time to learn about him.

He and his father didn’t always get along, but when it came to Jason, they both agreed. He would be everything Joey could hope for in a lover, friend, mate, and mother to his pups. With a soft smile pressed his lips Jason’s forehead. The younger man had his head resting on Joey’s chest as he slept peacefully.

“You’re thinking very loudly,” Jason grumbled before giving in to a long, heavy yawn.

He chuckled softly and nuzzled his mate, running his fingers through the man’s thick black and white curls. Really, he should scent or groom him, but they were both quite comfortable in their positions and Joey really wanted to just spend the early morning hours contemplating how happy they were going to be.

Jason took the choice to lay in bed away from him when he finally pulled himself up to a sitting position. He started cracking knuckles or stretching limbs as he let out a satisfying groan that ended in a playful noise that had Joey’s inner beast rising.

“It’s Christmas morning,” Jason grinned at him, his pretty teal eyes sparkling happily. “That means you finally get to open the gift I got you!”

More out of habit than necessity, Joseph signed as he spoke. “I told you not to get my anything! We agreed.”

Jason rolled his eyes and smirked. “I never agreed to anything of the sort. I agreed that you shouldn’t get me a gift because our pups would be enough.”

Of course, Jason would figure out how to twist their conversations to work in his favor. It was alright though because he’d bought Jason a gift anyhow. It was their first Christmas together. Well, the first where there wasn’t violence or bloodshed. The first where family and friends weren’t going to interfere or cause problems. The first where they were finally settled and happily closed off from the rest of the world.

Jason being pregnant made their home off limits without invitation. Even control freaks like their fathers, or nosy brats like their siblings, knew better than to enter an omega’s den uninvited when a litter was expected. Just in case they weren’t smart enough to know that, he and Jason had done everything they could to build up their defenses and to make it clear to any and all who passed by their small condo that there was a pregnant omega within.

He watched as his mate wrapped himself up in his favorite blanket off their nest/bed. “Let’s go, I want to sit by the fireplace and relax in the nest I made in the living room.”

“So, demanding,” Joey grinned, but didn’t argue.

He followed after his mate, keeping a close eye on the way he moved. Not just because he loved Jason’s body, but because the paranoia his father had warned him about was starting to settle in. The man had insisted that things like Jason moving about the apartment would put him in a state of concern, possibly even panic. That Joey would fear him being hurt in the kitchen or slipping in the bathroom.

It was kind of nice that he’d been warned about it. Jason was touchy enough as it was. He didn’t like being vulnerable let alone feeling like it. If Joey had reacted on instinct alone, he might have angered and upset Jason. Doing so might have frightened Jason into hiding in either his own den or hiding with his older brother until the pups were born.

Jason sat carefully in the large nest of blankets, pillows, and even some of their clothes or coats. He’d arranged it on Thanksgiving Day; the same day they’d put up a Christmas tree and decorated it. Of all the things Joey had expected of his headstrong, cynical mate, being a big fan of Christmas and its traditions had not been one of them.

Joey moved to sit beside him but thought better of it as he his eyes moved to the kitchen. “What can I get you to eat? What are our pups in the mood for?”

Jason started to stand, but Joey narrowed his eyes and released soft, warning growl. “Oh, fine! I’ll let you ‘provide’ for me!” He sounded angry, but he saw the relief in Jason’s eyes. Mornings were still touchy for the omega when it came to moving around and getting sick.

“What would you like?” He smiled.

“Big glass of milk and peanut butter toast?” The big man in the nest asked hopefully.

Jason also hated being a burden on anyone. He was terrified that if he was too much of an issue, people would abandon him. He’d of course never said that aloud, but Joey and Dick had long conversations about it. He’d never abandon Jason, of that Joey had tried hard to prove, but his insecure mate struggled at times with such an unusual concept.

When he returned from the small kitchen with the requested breakfast, he found a very large box sitting in the nest beside Jason. It was certainly not a box that Joey had seen before. Where had his omega been hiding it?

“Thanks,” Jason smiled and took the cup and plate.

He started to pull away, when Jason grabbed hold of his arm and then leaned his head into the palm of his hand. Joey smile and sunk to his knees beside him and began to kiss Jason’s face, while letting his hands run through Jason’s hair and down his neck and shoulders. He dropped to his knees beside him and took advantage of his mate’s cuddly mood.

“I love you,” Joey whispered softly.

“I love you, too.” Jason smiled before he nipped gently at his chin. “Now please, open your gift!”

“Only if you eat,” he bargained.

Jason didn’t respond, but rather grabbed one of the pieces of toast off his plate and took a large bite. Feeling a bit better about the omega taking care of his daily needs, Joey decided to focus on the large rectangular box. He took his time opening it, mostly because it looked like Jason had taken his time wrapping it.

There was also the bonus that Jason looked impatient enough to rip it out of his hands and open it himself. He loved teasing his mate and he slowed down just to get under his skin a bit.

Finally, he’d revealed a plain cardboard box. “It’s lovely, Jason, just what I wanted!”

“Oh, shut up and open the box,” Jason snickered.

Doing as he was told, he pulled out a black, hard shell guitar case. He liked the guitar case, but he already had one. Actually, it was pretty much the same type and everything. He appreciated the thought and wondered if Jason’s feelings would be hurt that he already had one.

Catching on, Jason grinned. “It’s not the case, it’s what’s inside.”

Worried, he flipped the metal clasps and opened the case. His eyes widened in surprise at the elegant black, acoustic guitar. In silver ink was the signature of The Man in Black himself, Johnny Cash. He felt his eyes tear up at the sight.

“Jason,” he whispered and fought the emotion in his throat. “This is…”

“Everything my Alpha deserves,” Jason insisted. “I bought it for you months ago. Before we moved in and before the pregnancy.”

He gently set the bit of music memorabilia aside and pulled Jason into a long, passionate kiss. He didn’t even mind the taste of peanut butter. He wanted Jason to know how grateful he was the music icon’s bit of history. It would be proudly displayed in their den. In their home.

Jason laughed nervously as they finally parted and blushed. “I guess that means you like it?”

He nodded. “Yes, I do,” he laughed and signed. “I love it almost as much as I love you.”

Jason set aside his glass of milk and plate of toast and then crawled into his lap, his head resting comfortably into the nape of his neck and shoulder. He let the omega relax there for as long as he wanted. He leaned his back against the couch that the nest was placed against. It had been done strategically for when they watched tv or the fireplace.

“Thank you, Jason, I mean it,” he grinned.

The heat of Jason’s cheeks warmed his neck and he almost teased his omega about it. “Thank you, Joey,” Jason whispered. “You, these two pups, and this life are everything I ever wanted, even if I didn’t know it before.”

“Well, I have a gift for you, too,” he smiled. “But you have to let me go so I can grab it.”

“I don’t need a gift, just you,” Jason shook his head and tightened his hold a little.

Content as he was to stay that way, Joey insisted, and Jason finally relented. He got up and walked into their bedroom and took it out of the man sized safe he installed when they moved in. This one was his, Jason had one on the opposite side of the closet. Neither knew one another’s codes, not that either had tried to guess. They respected one another’s privacy.

He handed the long, kind of skinny box to Jason. It was a little heavy, but his mate barely noticed as he took it and began to unwrap it. His face was curious the entire time, however, the box gave away what was inside of it.

Jason grinned. “A Barret M82?”

He nodded. “It’s the best anti-material sniper rifle on the market.”

“Yeah I know! Pretty expensive, Joey!” Jason snapped, but the delight in his eyes told him that the omega was teasing and not at all offended. “We weren’t even supposed to buy gifts for each other this year.”

“I agreed that you didn’t have to get me a gift, I never agreed not to get you one,” Joey corrected.

Jason blinked and then shook his head. “Guess I’m gonna have to be a lot more careful in making deals with you in the future?”

“You should have already known that, Dear,” Joey smirked.

His mate nodded and smiled before cuddling back up against his side. He wrapped an arm around him and nuzzled close to Jason’s face. He’d never been so happy in his life and he was pretty sure that Jason felt the same way.

Warm, happy, expecting, and lost in their own little world.

[fairfieldthinkspace]

Can the Trauma of War Lead to Growth, Despite the Scars?

By Phil Klay 

When we speak of trauma, it is usually as something to be avoided at all costs. But the suffering that war brings can be a strange and terrible blessing.

This article is part of a series on resilience in troubled times — what we can learn about it from history and personal experiences.

The French weapon deployed against Spanish troops in 1521 was, contemporaries said, “more diabolical than human.” The rapid-firing light bronze cannon shot iron balls that crushed battlements, careened wildly and sprayed shards of stone in all directions. At the Battle of Pamplona, one cannonball twice injured the leader of a small Spanish garrison defying calls for surrender, nearly killing him, first by striking one leg with stone shrapnel, then in the other leg by the cannonball itself. His name was Íñigo López de Loyola. The effect on Loyola was not only physical, but also spiritual: Today, he is better known as St. Ignatius.

Back then, he was no saint. One biography describes him as “a rough punkish swordsman who used his privileged status to escape prosecution for violent crimes committed with his priest brother at carnival time.” But this near-fatal injury changed him, along with a few religious books he read during his exceptionally painful convalescence, in which his bones had to be broken again and reset, and where he came so close to death he was given last rites. He went on to found the Jesuits and send disciples all over the globe, in what the British historian Dom David Knowles suggested was Christianity’s “greatest single religious impulse since the preaching of the apostles.”

When we speak of trauma, it is usually as something to be avoided at all costs. “Interest in avoiding pain,” wrote the utilitarian philosopher Peter Singer, is among “the most important human interests.” And yet soldiers like St. Ignatius, who found in their suffering a strange and terrible blessing, are not rare. Senator John McCain, brutally tortured at the Hanoi Hilton, famously declared himself “grateful to Vietnam” for giving him “a seriousness of purpose that observers of my early life had found difficult to detect.”

His might be an extreme case, but the expectation of exposure to some trauma has long been part of the draw of war. “The law is this: no wisdom without pain,” wrote the ancient Greek playwright and military veteran Aeschylus. “Wanted or not by us, such wisdom’s gained; its score, its etch, its scar in us goes deep.” Perhaps that’s true, but it leaves us with an ugly and, to some, offensive question: Can suffering be a gift?

In the early 20th century, the German writer Ernst Jünger, who had proudly served four years in brutal front-line fighting in World War I, declared the answer was a resounding yes. “Tell me your relation to pain,” he claimed, “and I will tell you who you are!” Civilization before the war had slid into bourgeoise decadence, he thought, fleeing from self-sacrifice and prioritizing safety. But the war heralded a new sort of man.

“Hardened as scarcely another generation ever was in fire and flame,” he wrote of himself and his fellow soldiers, “we could go into life as though from the anvil; into friendship, love, politics, professions, into all that destiny had in store. It is not every generation that is so favored.” Postwar Germany convinced him that the industrialized world these men returned to, which happily destroyed workers’ bodies for the construction of railways or mines, was ruled by the same cruel logic as the trenches. Men would have to rise to the challenge by accepting pain, and accepting the cruelty of the age. This is toughness and callousness elevated to a first principle. Unsurprisingly, many of Jünger’s admirers became Nazis.

One of their victims was an Austrian of Jewish descent named Jean Améry, who after the war forcefully rejected, in the starkest terms, any notions of suffering as a gift. Likewise, notions of stoic detachment born of the trenches were absurd to a man who had been tortured by the Gestapo before being sent to Auschwitz. Améry experienced pain beyond description; he was hung by his arms until they ripped from their sockets, and then horsewhipped. For the tortured man, he wrote, “his flesh becomes total reality.”

More lasting than the pain, though, the experience destroyed his ability to ever feel at home in the world, which requires faith in fellow men. Humans are a social animal, our inner self in constant outward search for communion. Torture inverts that expansive, capacious self into a collapsing star. Whatever you thought you were — a mind, a consciousness, a soul — torture reveals how simply, and casually, that can be destroyed. “A slight pressure by the tool-wielding hand is enough,” Améry wrote, to turn a cultured man into “a shrilly squealing piglet at slaughter.” There is wisdom here, though of a dark sort. “Whoever was tortured, stays tortured.” Améry committed suicide in 1978.

Where does that leave those who suffer? For the medical community, the safest option is addressing symptoms, not metaphysics. The writer and former Marine infantry officer David J. Morris has described his own therapy for post-traumatic stress disorder from his time in Iraq, during which he was urged to retell the stories of his trauma, practice breathing exercises, and reframe his cognitive responses to his environment and his traumatic memories.

But he was not encouraged to grow in response to what he had gone through; when he would try to speculate on how his experience might be converted to wisdom, psychologists would admonish him, he reported, “for straying from the strictures of the therapeutic regime.” One senior psychologist at the Department of Veterans Affairs told him that notions of post-traumatic growth were an insult to those who have suffered. For a medical community grounded in science rather than spirituality, and rightfully leery of telling the Amérys of the world to look on the bright side, suffering is no gift.

But another current can be found in theories developed during the Vietnam War. The study of psychological trauma suffers from what the psychiatrist Judith Herman has called “episodic amnesia,” in which periods of active interest, frequently following wars, are followed by “periods of oblivion.” But the generation of soldiers disaffected from war during Vietnam organized and demanded the first systematic, large-scale investigations of war trauma’s long-term effects. In addition to a medical diagnosis — PTSD was added to the American Psychiatric Association’s official manual in 1980 — many of these same veterans and their allies argued for the spiritual and moral significance of their condition.

Psychiatrists like Robert Jay Lifton and writers like Peter Marin argued that the suffering of Vietnam veterans was not simply neurosis, but appropriate moral response to horror. “All men, like all nations, are tested twice in the moral realm,” Mr. Marin wrote. “First by what they do, then by what they make of what they do.” Rather than numbing themselves to pain, they needed to sensitize themselves, to become alive to the “animating” guilt they supposedly lived with. Guilt forces the suffering consciousness outside of itself, the theory goes, sparking empathy and a drive to make reparation.

Whether guilt results in healing, though, is debatable. Some of the most fascinating research on growth after war trauma emerges out of a four decade-long study initiated by Zahava Solomon, which followed the PTSD trajectories of veterans of the 1982 war in Lebanon and the Arab-Israeli war of 1973, also known as the Yom Kippur War. A 2016 analysis of Israeli P.O.W.s from the 1973 war, who faced systematic torture, deprivation and social stigma, did find that those who reported the most guilt about their experience also reported the most growth. However, those veterans also had greater reports of PTSD symptoms as well. As Aeschylus warned, the wisdom they felt they had gained came with deep scars.

None of this would likely have surprised Ignatius of Loyola. In his tradition, suffering was at best a mystery: God never really answers Job, and Christ’s prayer to “let this cup pass me by” goes ungranted. As a Jesuit friend recently told me, suffering is never a gift, never truly willed by God; suffering is real, and awful, and not to be forgotten. “Consider how the Divinity hides Itself,” Ignatius’ followers have been directed to ask for hundreds of years, “how It could destroy Its enemies and does not do it, and how It leaves the most sacred Humanity to suffer so very cruelly.” But of course, that doesn’t mean that we cannot respond to such suffering with grace.

Phil Klay is a U.S. Marine Corps veteran, a visiting professor at Fairfield University and the author of “Redeployment,” winner of the 2014 National Book Award for Fiction, and the forthcoming novel “Missionaries.”

#St. Ignatius of Loyola #Phil Klay #Fairfield University #The New York Times

[caelenath]

Sweet Child of Thine (a PRSPD story)

First part of a new pre-canon story. Cross-posted to AO3, FFnet, and caelenath.com.

Length: 1018 words Warnings: concerns child abduction Summary: Mirloc only agreed to the job as a way to repay an old favor, but what sounded like easy work brings more surprises than he could have ever guessed when the target turns out to be a small boy with an extraordinary power.

1. the child

The frantic call from Madelaine came on top of a frantic day. Separate attacks at different ends of the city had forced the team to split up, Jay’s morpher experienced a glitch that Kat would never admit to, and Jay still wasn’t used to outranking Nate, which Nate found hilarious and Jay found annoyingly stressful.

He had actually missed his wife’s first call, and the fact that she would call at all, never mind twice, was alarming in itself. She was good about not contacting him while he was on duty unless it was an emergency.

Today it was an emergency.

“I can’t find Sky!” she cried as soon as Jay answered the phone. Her panicked tone combined with their son’s name felt like a shot right to his heart, which still hadn’t settled down yet from the battle and the rush of Power he had just come out of.

“Where are you?” he asked.

“At home. I put him down for a nap a few hours ago and he’s usually up by now, so I went to check on him and he wasn’t there. I’ve searched the entire house, every closet, drawer, cabinet, under the beds—I looked outside too. All the doors were locked, so I don’t think he could’ve gotten out, but he isn’t anywhere and I don’t know what else to do!”

“It’s okay,” Jay said even though it was anything but. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll find him. Have you called the police yet?” It felt strange to ask because he was and was not the police. SPD served a similar function to the PD and their responsibilities did overlap, but missing persons generally wasn’t in SPD’s jurisdiction, and certainly wasn’t within a Ranger’s. But on the other hand, he and Nate were still figuring out the duties of their relatively nascent team within the wider SPD schema.

But on the other hand, the missing person was his son.

“I called them before I called you,” Madelaine said. “They’re sending someone over now.”

“Good. I’ll put an alert out on our networks too, and then I’m coming home. Oh, and I’ll talk to Dr. Roberts on the way out.”

“Dr. Roberts? Why?”

“In case Sky’s special abilities might be relevant somehow. What if this is a new one?”

He could hear the frown in Madelaine’s voice when she answered. “What, to just disappear? That doesn’t seem likely.”

Jay didn’t think so either, but then, how many parents even had to consider the possibility? Sky had been born with the ability to create forcefields, the result of Madelaine’s exposure to chemical enhancers while working on SPD’s Morpher project, and while it was the only power they were aware of in Sky so far, who could say the genetic effects would end there? There was no precedent for someone like their son, who was only three, and barely at that. His birthday had been just weeks ago.

“Jay.” Madelaine’s voice dropped to a frightened whisper. “What if someone took him for his powers?”

That was an even more terrifying prospect, but if Jay let himself get paralyzed by all the what-ifs now, he would never move from where he was.

“We’ll find him, Mads, I promise. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“Please hurry.”

* * *

The boy had an angry red mark on his head that hadn’t been there before. No doubt he had gained it by running into one of the infinite reflective surfaces in Mirloc’s mirror dimension, where Mirloc had deposited him for a few minutes in order to steal him away from his home. Grown creatures became easily disoriented in that place, smashing headlong into themselves multiple times before learning to be wiser in their movements, so never mind a human youngling of three years. The boy was a mere babe by any galactic measure, including that of his own species.

While Mirloc had expected such fragility in a human child, he was admittedly taken aback by how loud and expressive he was also. The boy was only as tall as Mirloc’s knee, but the noise he produced filled the entire house. His bright cherub’s mouth was open wide as he wailed long and woefully, a sound sustained by more air and force than could have possibly fit in that small body.

The noise should have grated on Mirloc’s nerves within the first fifteen seconds, but the mercenary had not gained his reputation or skill by giving into emotions so easily. He distanced his mind from the child’s cries, prodigious as they were, and considered what might quiet him. A threat could work, but it could also just as easily have the opposite effect. Mirloc knew nothing of the minds of human children and what capacity they had for reasoning, but he knew how to read the state of others, usually foes, and he surmised that a threat would not only be insufficiently understood, but also, needless to say, unwelcome.

That left the option of coddling.

Mirloc carefully lowered himself to one knee so that he might be some measure less frightening (imagine that!). It had started to become bothersome anyway to have to look nearly straight down at his young charge. At first the boy didn’t notice; his eyes were squeezed tightly shut in his fury, but the catch in his breath suggested he was wearing down. So Mirloc waited and the cries eventually subsided into wheezing gasps and then into nothing at all. The boy finally looked at the face of his captor, and when he did, Mirloc felt his vexation give way, like winter’s frost beneath a spring sun, to something else he refused to name.

The child’s eyes were as blue as day and as dewy as wet flowers.

Suddenly the wisdom of this endeavor, hastily agreed to as repayment of an old debt, seemed as lost as this innocence would be if Mirloc kept to the agreed course.

“If you are good,” the mercenary said, and the slither of his voice sent the boy into a stunned quiet, “maybe you can go home again.”

#power rangers spd #power rangers #fanfiction #sky tate #pre-canon #mirloc #my fic