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thesafecafe · 1 year

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NCT 127: Helping their Black GF on wash day

Summary: Your boyfriend wants to help you out on wash day, and you let him, but not without some interesting adventures along the way!

CW: None really, sfw, fluff, specifically black fem reader, aspects of black hair, gifs not mine hope you enjoy! Disclaimer: This is not meant to be a reflection of the idol or their behavior in real life, this is simply a fictional depiction for entertainment purposes.

Taeil:

The most nervous out of everyone when you offer

he puts on a brave face, genuinely wanting to help you out

but on the inside, he is panicking, because what if he messes up your hair?

you pick up on his mood though, and gently guide him through the process

you have him make a list of all your steps, and tell him to check off the steps and products you go through

“I can do that!”

takes his position in the bathroom rather seriously, keeping the younger members out if they start to interfere

“Use another bathroom Haechan! This is occupied!”

looks rather silly, standing there with his notebook, and furiously jotting down all that you do

he operates your playlist as well, and even notes down the songs!

he’s great for moral support the first time around, and if you need help next time, he’s more than ready to step in more

he’s got his notes to guide him!

Johnny:

Johnny is no stranger to seeing you do your hair

he often watches as you do your hair, a quiet type curiosity in his eyes

when you ask him to help, he’s a little incredulous at first

“You want me to help?”

but his brief moment of uncertainty is hidden instantly by fake confidence

“Of course babe, I got this! It’s me we’re talking about!”

spoiler: he does not have this

he struggles getting the brush through your head, and detangling? a catastrophe

he’s good at distributing the shampoo and conditioner, but then you’re on your own girl

blow drying is fairly easy, since all he does is hold the dryer where you tell him, and helping you choose a style

if you want help styling it? Girl, you better call the father, the son, and the holy spirit

your hair manages to get done eventually; it might look a little odd, but it’s done

“See babe, I told you I got this!”

Taeyong

curious little bean about your hair

is hesitant at first, as he doesn’t want to mess up your hair or hurt you

“Are you sure babe? You trust me that much?”

when you reassure him that you indeed do trust him with your beautiful hair, he’ll get all smiley

asks you for step by step instructions, and is so so gentle

even when helping you put in products for washing or drying your hair feels like a full on scalp massage

which you compliment him on

“Ah, you like it? I’ll remember babe!”

the more you compliment him, the more he’ll melt, just falling in love with you harder at each remark

some steps have you helping him out, such as combing out your hair and blow drying

which he’ll insist he can do if he just watches a tutorial (he wants to be able to do it for you on his own)

but as he helps you do a simple style, he sees it as a bonding experience

“Let’s do this again next time babe!”

Yuta:

Another curious one, but he is in awe of everything about the process

“This much product?! Really?”

you teach him the products, and he commits each one to memory

genuinely curious about a few of the oils and conditioners

“Do you think it’ll work for me? They smell really good!”

he steps in when your arms start to get tired, and you need help twisting it for pre parting

he realizes that you have to do this every time you wash your hair and his heart goes out to you

“Let me help again next time, it’s so much for one person to do all alone!”

he’s very sweet, taking breaks when you need, and gets you snacks, water, arms rubs, whatever you need

such a supportive boyfriend and wonderful listener

he’ll listen attentively as you instruct him on how to braid your hair, before the both of you jointly braid your hair into pretty box braids

“These are so good babe! You think I could get paid to do it?”

(as if he’s not a full time celebrity) but you tell him yes anyway

nothing wrong with a confidence boost

Doyoung:

Intimidated off the bat

you have a LOT of hair, and Doyoung knows so LITTLE about it

will whine a little bit before he settles into the idea

“Babe, I don’t think I’m cut out to be a hair dresser, hence my job choice.”

but when you say you’ll ask someone else, he protests immediately

pulls you back into the bathroom with a pout on his face

“You can’t ask them! They don’t know anything!”

you spare him of the fact that neither does he, but you allow him to help

he kind of observes first, allowing you to demonstrate

when you offer him a brush or a comb, he takes the, slowly following along with your steps

your soft encouragement helps him to keep going, even earning you a smile

“I guess it’s not so hard after all! Your hair is really pretty by the way”

it’s not his first time telling you that, since he loves your hair, but it still makes you shy

he follows your instructions completely, allowing you to guide his hands when he forgets a step

when you are eventually finished, Doyoung will observe your hair in the mirror, slowly turning your head side to side in his hands

“I really did that! We did it!”

he’s cheering and happy, and he’ll be way more open to helping you next time, because practice makes perfect

Jungwoo:

“You trust me? Ah, such a confident girl”

a real jokester (but it’s to keep his nervousness at bay)

he’s praying he doesn’t rip any hair out

he uses a bit more than the recommended amount

aka he squeezed the bottle too hard and now your hair is saturated in shampoo

but a little extra product never hurt anybody!

he’ll have you bent over the sink, pouring water over the back of your hair with a giant bowl

Jungwoo, you don’t need to drown your client, come on now

he nearly knocks you of the chair during blow drying, but it is unintentional, (unlike some members)

it’s a bit of a bumpy ride when it comes to combing out and detangling, but you get through it

“All right, what’s next?”

he’ll think he’s a professional once you have him help you part and section your hair, massaging in your usual products

he watches in fascination as you style your hair, a curious awe present in his facial expressions

“You really are amazing babe.”

Mark:

why you decided to ask for help from Mark is a mystery

“Yo, really? Are you sure? Dude, that’s like, huge!”

is grateful for the opportunity, but please help him

he does not know what he’s doing, and this is more of a tutorial than him helping

he’ll help by handing you different products, but he mostly asks questions about different things

“You have two conditioners? Wait why?”

you explain everything with patience, telling him what it does for your hair, and what works for your hair type

“So your hair is a mixture of two different patterns? Ahh, that explains so much!

he recognizes a few things that you have, like coconut and jojoba oil

but the purpose of leave in conditioner escapes him until you explain

it really is an interesting experience with Mark, especially when you mix together different products together

his mind is blown

“Yo, you’re Y/N the scientist! Who else mixes things like that?”

He’ll help you trim your hair after you give yourself a silk press, admiring the way it looks, telling you how good you look

Haechan:

Oh, he is an excited boy

very, very excited, he has been waiting for this day to come

you never let anyone touch your hair, not even him, and now you want his help? best day ever

he’ll tease you though, telling you he’ll charge you for his services

“These professional hands come with a price babe” (such a menace)

he will use your product bottles as weapons of mass...hair destruction?

“I will conquer and vanquish the dragon!” he says while threateningly pointing a shampoo bottle at your head

the hair is not our enemy, put down the bottle sir

he is genuinely happy as he washes your hair, blow drying and oiling it after with no problem

(aside form him trying to knock you off the chair on purpose)

he helps you to do a roller set, which intrigues him

“Oh, so you have a dryer chair in the corner! I never noticed that was there!”

He will offer to help you get ready for bed after as well

massaging your scalp and making sure you have good circulation before bed

he will demand matching bonnets once he sees yours though, so be prepared to share

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pennedbyeve · 2 months

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Author’s note:

Hi. How y’all doing? *Ms. Juicy’s voice*

I know I have neglected this I was in a bit of a creative rut, but I am back and better and I am excited to write some more and expand on the relationship that is Johnny and Amira. This is shortish, but I definitely plan on adding more in due time.

Two

Johnny

IF HE HAD A DOLLAR FOR ALL THE TIMES HE WOKE UP IN THE NIGHT SINCE SEEING HER.

He would be extremely wealthy, it had been a week since then he would quickly dart to his apartment, so he would not pass her in the elevator, but thoughts of her definitely circulated in his brain.

He couldn’t sleep, he took his phone from the nightstand and the glowing screen indicated that it was 5:30 in the morning, thankfully he had the weekend off, he needed time for himself to recoup and gather himself.

He tried his hardest to go back to sleep, but the second his head the pillow, yet again his body would not allow him to do so, but he decided to lay around for a little he did not want to rot the day away, but he knew he needed to relax somewhat he played some music to help ease his mind a bit.

Once he was more energized it was now some time after eight, and he decided to make breakfast, he hated how he could not get her out of his mind, their friendship ending was one sided. He wanted to know why she didn't explain to him what happened, but he was going to leave it at what it is, or at least that's what he had hoped for.

Moments later there was a knock on his door, he took a moment to brace himself he turned the stove off. Looking through the peephole there she was, his throat instantly got dry. he couldn't gather his thoughts quickly as he opened the door.

He adjusted his pants before going to open the door for her his brain was scrambling just like the eggs he was attempting to make.

"Good morning, I need a favor." She blurted out.

"Good morning, what is it?" He headed back into the kitchen to finish making his breakfast.

He wasn't too sure what she was going to say next.

“I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend for a little bit, my ex keeps blowing my phone up and it is getting under my skin, pretty please Johnny.”

Her big eyes stared into his eyes and, he felt obligated to say no, especially since how dirty she did him by going missing in action, but deep-down Johnny had a soft spot for Amira.

“For how long Amira?”

She bit the inside of her cheek, she picked up the piece of bacon that he had on his plate.

He just allowed her to put it in her mouth, as she continued to speak.

“Just until I tell you when Johnny, we can go on outings and those could be our dates, and we don’t have to hug and kiss, but we can start calling it dating in a few weeks.”

He ran his hand over his face, he was not too sure how to feel about this, it had been a week since he spotted her and now he had to put all the feelings he thought he had previously were over back at the forefront in his mind.

He sighed before responding.

“You have a deal, but my bedtime is 9:30 so I can’t stay up late.”

“Such a child.” She teases.

Amira

She was not too sure surprised that Johnny even agreed to doing this, he was extremely kind and this was definitely not out of his nature, he would do anything if that meant to make her happy, and she knew that there wouldn't be feelings attached to this situation.

He was her best friend and that was that.

#ambw kpop #johnny suh fanfic #johnny suh x black reader #kpop x black reader

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boplee · 10 months

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Hi guysssss 🥰

So I took a break from writing cause things got a little hectic for me. Juggling school, work, and life kinda left me with little to no room to write anything plus I had a very bad case of writers block. I hope to become active again so I can keep you guys entertained. I know you guys are waiting for parts to other stories to be released and I want you to know they’re coming. I’m also working on some new stories so be on the look out. Anyway thanks for reading and stay tuned

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neo-brownskinnedangels · 3 years

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NCT 1994-1999: Favorite Positions

If you don’t feel comfortable with smut, do not read this! I have decided to cut off eveyone who is born later than 1999. So no Renjun and younger.

TAEIL;

— Taeil is the most Vanilla out of NCT, however that doesn’t mean he’s boring. He likes to be traditional, and loves a good Cat position. It’s similar to missionary, but believe me he can go a lot deeper than in missionary with this position. He also loved to be close to your neck where he can kiss and suck on the skin, marking you and leaving love bites and hickeys.

JOHNNY;

— Johnny has no problem picking you up and just using you like a toy. He has many different favorite positions, all of them leading to him being in control but he really enjoys the Workout Position. He enjoys bouncing you on his length like this, meeting your hips as he thrusts up into you as well.

TAEYONG;

— He’s a sucker for feeling your body rub against his in intimate moments like this. Feeling your boobs again this chest, and your thighs against his. That’s why he usually goes for the Silence position. He can hold you close and look into your eye as you guys grinding against each other. His warm breath hitting your neck as he looked up at you.

YUTA;

— It’s no secret that Yuta likes it rough, and he loves being in control. He enjoys any position where he can take you from behind. Ramming into you as he feels your ass against him and he’s in total control. Recently his favorite position has been the Downward Dog. Just the thought of holding you down, and wrapping his and gently around your neck gets him all riled up.

KUN;

— Kun enjoys dominating you, making sure that you’re under his control when it comes to the bedroom. What other position for that than, his hands down favorite position Basset/Doggystyle. He loves to pound into you from behind. Occasionally slapping your ass or pulling at your hair.

DOYOUNG;

— He enjoys the thought of dominating you from behind. However, he doesn’t want to miss the faces you make as he does so. So the perfect harmony between this would be the Cancer Position. He more enjoys a slower more tender and deep pace with this position, kissing you even deeper than his thrusts.

TEN;

— Ten loves to fuck you on different surfaces, the counter, the table, the bed, the couch. And his favorite position when fucking you somewhere other than a the bed is the Propeller position. It drives him absolutely insane to take you like this. Especially when you look back at him him as he’s thrusting into you. You don’t under what it does to him.

JAEHYUN;

— Jaehyun can never pick just one position to put you in during a session between the two of you. He’s usually a huge fan of taking you from behind, but he also really enjoys the Backstroke position. He pounds into you, lifting your legs to go even deeper into you. Once in a while groping your boobs as well. He also loved to make eye contact with you as he dicks you down.

WINWIN;

— Winwin is more of a grinder, than a thruster. But given the chance he could definitely blow your back out. Regardless, his favorite position is the Low Doggy. He’s never really this excited to be dominant until he gets you in this position. He also pulles your hair into a fist, panting and grunting into your ear.

JUNGWOO;

— Jungwoo is more of a soft dom to me. He enjo us being in control, but in a more guiding way. He enjoys showering you with kisses and treating you but still having the control. He most often uses the Boat position. He loves to thrust into you from behind, as he kissed your forehead and telling you how pretty you are and how beautiful your moans sound.

LUCAS;

— Lucas is crazy for you being on top of him, but he’s still going to dominate you. Wrapping his arms around you and thrusting up hard into you. The Watering Can position, seems to be his favorite one for that. Lucas especially loves looking up and looking at how you react to taking him like this.

MARK;

— He loves watching you work it out, bouncing yourself on him. He loves how eager you get and how fast your bouncing gets. In the Bench position, he usually finds this one to be the most entertaining and sexy to him. Usually he lets you do so the work, and just holds his hands behind his head. Other times, gripping your waist and helping to guide you down on his length.

XIAOJUN;

— Xiaojun will never say it, but I think he secretly loves when you’re in control and you’re on top. It would only make sense, since his favorite would be a good old Cowgirl. Looking up at you as you bounce on his length, he he moves hands from your waist to grope your boobs as they bounce too.

HENDERY;

— Hendery gives me speed demon vibes. I think he gets really excited, and enjoys a position that doesn’t stunt his speed in anyway. This is probably why he’d enjoy the Aquarius position. Just imagine Him ramming into you, snapping his hips against yours making you completely loose your mind.

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neodilfs · 3 years

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nct ( johnny, yuta, jaehyun, and mark) and their kinks

request : no

a/n : i just got my nails done and i type relatively fast so if there are any mistakes, i’ll try to fix them!

nsfw under the cut !

JOHNNY.

johnny, for sure, has a size kink. whilst everyone thinks he has a strong daddy kink, i think that’s not true — not saying he doesn’t have a daddy kink, just saying that his size kink is bigger than his daddy kink.

he loves watching you struggle to fit him in your mouth at once and definitely enjoys watching your face contort in pleasure as he slowly inches himself in you.

every time you guys have sex, he always makes sure you’re prepped properly before moving on. he just doesn’t want to hurt you.

YUTA.

i got bashed for saying this once but i didn’t give a fuck, but yuta has a praise kink.

he just lives off of you telling him how good he makes you feel.

trust me, tell him he’s a good boy and slot your fingers in his hair while he’s pounding into you and he’ll literally go feral.

JAEHYUN.

i think jaehyun has a crying kink. not like he’s the one crying but you’re the one crying.

he’s a little bit on the bigger side so if you’d try to like deepthroat him all at once, tears would sting your eyes and he’d definitely be into it.

he tries his very hardest to make sure he gets as deep as possible just so he can make you cry.

MARK.

mark has a bondage kink for sure; he likes to be tied up and he likes to tie you up.

he was just randomly watching porn one day and then all of a sudden he sees the girl get tied up and he’s like ‘oh shit. this is nice.’

so he like tied your arms behind your back and literally fucked the shit out if you because you couldn’t really stop him.

#kpop ambw #marz.💚#nct ambw #neozone.marz #nct #mark lee #johnny suh #jeong jaehyun #nakamoto yuta #nct mark #nct johnny #nct jaehyun #nct yuta

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retrievablememories · 4 years

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baby of mine | johnny

title: baby of mine pairing: johnny x black!reader genre: angst, some fluff request: “Can I request a Johnny and his wife fighting because his ex came to them saying she’s pregnant because when she and Johnny were dating they had been trying for a baby and then they broke up. He met his black wife and got married a year later and now his ex is pregnant making his wife upset and feeling like a side chick instead of his wife. Thank you” word count: 3.5k warnings: mentions of infidelity, some racial microaggressions, mentions of racism, talk of conceiving a/n: did not have the heart to make my mans a cheater so i went with the 2nd plot point i suggested for this request lol, if you want something different let me know anon

As you’re cooking breakfast one morning, Johnny comes up to you and hugs you from the back, wrapping his arms around your torso. One of his hands settles on your stomach as he does so.

“Good morning, dear wife,” he mumbles, still a bit sleepy. He presses his cheek to yours. His skin is warm from being underneath the covers all night, and the strands of his soft hair tickle your face.

“Morning, baby.”

You think he’s gonna go sit at the table after he gets his usual morning hug, but he keeps clinging to you and subtly pressing his body against yours. Raising your eyebrows, you have to ask. “What are you up to, Johnny?”

“Nothin’ much,” he answers, “just wondering when you’re gonna let me put a baby in you.”

You turn to look at him, feigning shock. “God, it’s so early in the morning and you come to me with this. At least let me finish the food...” You laugh, embarrassed but also lowkey delighted at his comment.

“Oh, you love it though. You’ll love it even more when we actually start trying.”

“Well, it’s not like I don’t already.” You snort. “Stop being horny and go sit at the table, though. I don’t need you making me burn this food.” You try to shoo him with your free hand, though he only takes that hand so he can lay a kiss on the back of it.

“I always aim to please.” Johnny snickers, taking a piece of bacon off the plate on the counter.

You’ve only been married for a year at this point, but this kind of playful banter about having kids and building a family together is not unfamiliar to you. Johnny is definitely the type of man who’s always dreamed about having a family of his own, and he’s not secretive about it. With so much love to give, he’s more than eager to shower it on the people closest to him.

Jaehyun and his girlfriend have just had their first kid, which has only stoked Johnny’s enthusiasm, but you’re still waiting for a time when you feel truly ready to take that leap. After all, having kids is no easy matter, and the last thing you want to do is jump into it without a clue. Johnny is fine with waiting for however long you want, though there are undoubtedly some times when you wish you could be more responsive to it.

Still, you are ultimately happy with your marriage and are looking forward to the day when you can finally add a new member to the family.

There’s a knock on the door one evening, and you wonder who it must be. You weren’t expecting anyone today, and neither was Johnny—that you know of. You go to the door and peek through the peephole, and you’re even more confused at what you see.

When you open the door, a woman is standing there with a baby carrier and a diaper bag. It’s not just any woman, though—it’s Johnny’s ex-girlfriend, Jihyun. The one he dated before meeting and marrying you.

You both stare at each other in silence for a few moments. You’re so surprised by her presence at your doorstep and the baby carrier she has that you forget to ask what she’s here for—and she seems equally shocked to see you.

Finally, Jihyun appears to remember what she came for and asks, “H-hi, does John Suh live here?”

“Yes...why?”

“There are some things we need to talk about…” Her eyes drift to the baby carrier, and your whole world pauses.

“Things?”

As if on cue, Johnny comes up behind you with a concerned look on his face, recognizing the sound of his ex’s voice. He stops in his tracks a little ways from the entrance when he sees what she’s brought along with her. “Jihyun? What are you doing here?”

Her expression when she sees him is hard to read, though a nervous energy radiates from her. Her nervousness seems to transfer to you, and the back of your neck prickles with sweat. “John...um, hi, I just needed to talk to you--” Her words break off as she struggles to think of what to say. “I’m sorry to spring this on you like this, but we have to talk about our child.”

You and Johnny both speak at the same time.

“What?”

“Our child?”

You’re completely frozen now, and Johnny slides in beside you, opening the door wider. “Jihyun, this isn’t funny. Don’t come here with this shit—”

“I-it’s not a joke.” She reaches in the diaper bag hastily and pulls out a manila envelope. “I thought you’d ask about this, so I got a paternity test.”

Johnny takes the folder from her and opens it to look at the papers inside, but he’s clearly not pleased. “You thought? I’m sure.” You already knew that Jihyun had cheated on him; it was something he told you near the start of your relationship. They were trying to start a family around the time he found out, which made the blow all the more painful for him.

Back then, you didn’t give much thought to the idea that they actually might’ve been successful. They never contacted each other again after breaking up, and you reasoned that she would have reached out if she was ever pregnant.

Apparently, life is never that simple or easy.

You’re still unsure how to respond to any of this. Even if you wanted to react, you’re still too shocked to do anything but stand there and wait for Johnny’s response.

Unfortunately, his reaction doesn’t make you feel any more reassured. He’s quiet for a while as he looks at the papers, and he seems to age 5 years in just that timespan. He presses his lips together into a thin line, his forehead creasing.

Finally, he hands the papers to you and looks at Jihyun. You almost drop them in your rush to read what they say, but the answer is incredibly clear. A baby girl named Youngmi, with a 99.9% DNA match. “We do need to talk.”

The atmosphere in the living room is tense and awkward. You and Johnny sit on the couch while Jihyun sits on the other sofa in front of you, the baby carrier beside her. It’s been covered the entire time, and you still don’t have a clue what the baby looks like. The rational part of you figures she must be sleeping, although there is the undeniably petty part that suspects there is no baby and this is all a setup.

“How did you even find me?” Johnny asks, not very thrilled at Jihyun now knowing his new address.

“A mutual friend told me.” She doesn’t expand on who gave the information, which makes you raise your eyebrows. “They told me you’d gotten married, too. But they never mentioned that your wife was…?” Jihyun looks at you curiously, and you feel put on the spot like an object. It’s the elephant in the room that never fails to make itself known—why did you marry a black woman?

“Was what?”

“Jihyun, don’t do this. You’re already walking a thin line. I didn’t let you come in here for this.” Johnny already knows that it isn’t hard for you to reach your breaking point, and he hopes this won’t go completely left before he gets answers. He still needs to figure out what the hell is going on.

You throw in for good measure, “You aren’t going to come in my house and disrespect me. Check yourself.”

Jihyun is taken aback at being reprimanded by both of you and turns a little pale at being called out for her rudeness. “U-um, of course, sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

If you didn’t mean it you wouldn't have said it, you think to yourself, still stewing with anger.

“Explain all of this,” Johnny says. His tone makes it clear that it’s not a request.

Jihyun takes a moment to get herself together and starts speaking again. “Well, you know how our relationship ended. I found out I was pregnant soon after that, but…” Her hands fidget in her lap. “I didn’t want to say anything because I thought...you were really angry back then, Johnny. I thought you’d hate me even more than you already did. Or wouldn’t accept the baby anymore.”

Johnny’s shoulders slump a little. “You didn’t think I would want my own child?” He is clearly hurt by the idea of this.

“I don’t think I have the right to blame you for being angry. I was wrong. But I didn’t want to make things worse. I really believed it would just be better to start all over and raise the baby myself.” Her eyes stay glued to the floor as she says, “I...wasn’t entirely sure if it was yours, either, so I decided not to tell you.”

Johnny’s body tenses at the mention of her transgression, though he doesn’t speak. He merely sits and waits for her to continue talking.

“I thought I could do it all on my own, and it would be fine. The other guy...he left soon after I told him. Then the baby got here, and...none of it’s been easy, but I really have been struggling these past few months.” Jihyun looks up at him now, a pleading expression on her face. “I would rather not have to ask you for child support, but...I need some help, Johnny. And I’m truly sorry I kept this from you.”

Johnny puts his head in his hands and runs his fingers through his hair, looking distressed and overwhelmed by all of this being unloaded on him at once. “This has come practically out of nowhere, Jihyun.”

She appears to take offense to that particular statement; maybe she thinks he’s referring to the baby that way. “I don’t know if I’d call it out of nowhere. We both knew the possibilities when we were trying for a child.”

“You can’t be serious,” you blurt out, laughing out loud although it’s not really funny. You’re more astounded than amused at the irony and ridiculousness of her saying that. Jihyun glances at you unhappily, though she doesn’t meet your glare for very long.

Johnny is equally bristled by her words, and you can feel him tensing up more beside you. “And you could’ve thought about that before fucking another man and then hiding my own child from me—”

The conversation is interrupted by Youngmi, who has apparently woken up and is now whining for attention. You can see her little feet kicking against the cover of the carrier. Jihyun hurriedly turns the carrier around to put the cover down and pull the child out. She looks to be around 9 months.

Youngmi is quickly quieted by being fed her bottle. Her eyes are big with curiosity as she looks around the room—at Jihyun, Johnny, and you. Johnny’s anger at his ex becomes subdued after seeing the baby, and his mouth drops open a little in surprise.

Johnny finds himself unable to take his eyes away from Youngmi after Jihyun takes her out of the carrier, and he leans forward a bit to get a closer look. He’s secretly itching to get closer, though he isn’t quite sure how to bring that up after cursing his ex out. Fortunately for him, she already knows what he wants. After the baby is done drinking, she carefully offers, “Do...you want to hold her?”

You watch to see what Johnny will do. You know he very well won’t refuse his own child, and you don’t expect him to, but you also don’t know how you should feel. He glances at you somewhat apologetically, sensing your unhappiness, but nods and holds his arms out for Youngmi. Jihyun settles the baby in his arms when he does.

Youngmi doesn’t start crying in the presence of an unfamiliar person like most babies do; maybe she somehow knows he’s her father. You almost want to laugh again at that, feeling like you’re going to lose your mind.

Johnny looks down at his daughter’s face as she drools and clenches and unclenches her small fists. She’s smiling as she looks up at him, though you don’t know if that’s because she’s happy at just being fed.

Something in Johnny’s heart immediately softens, and he feels himself drawn to her. Even without the paternity results, he can certainly tell that she has his same bow-shaped lips.

In any other circumstance you would’ve felt moved by this interaction, but now you only experience the creeping dread of being replaced. Not by the baby, but by Jihyun. What if she’s suddenly at your house all the time after they decide to co-parent? That can’t happen. You can’t tolerate having this woman up in your house on a regular basis, but letting Johnny spend a bunch of time at her place is completely out of the question. You know he hasn’t wanted anything to do with her since they broke up, but you can’t get rid of the fear of what could happen if Johnny gets close to her again.

You try to convince yourself there is no way he’d ever consider going back to her after she betrayed him. Your doubts are killing you, though. Jihyun has already given him the one thing he’s always wanted most, and you suddenly feel very abandoned and empty. Almost like their relationship never ended and you’re simply trespassing.

“She’s very pretty,” Johnny says, smiling down at the little girl.

Your heart is being torn to shreds. “Sorry, I—uh, forgot something.” Without looking for their reactions, you get up from the couch and go up to the bedroom you share with Johnny. There, you sink to the floor and stay there for what feels like hours, your forehead against the carpet as you struggle to gather your thoughts.

You don’t know how much time actually passes, and you know Johnny must be wondering what you’re doing, but he eventually comes up after you. By then, you’ve gathered yourself somewhat—at least physically—and are sitting on the bed.

Johnny stands in the doorway, looking hesitant, tired, concerned, and maybe even a little happy, all at once. He opens his mouth and then closes it back shut, searching for the right words. “I didn’t think...she never said anything…”

You still feel like you’re being pierced straight through. There’s no denying that you still love Johnny, but you don’t know where things can go from here. The only tiny bright spot you can find is that at least he didn’t cheat on you. A laugh of sick irony bursts out of you, and Johnny seems concerned about whether you’re having a mental breakdown.

He steps into the room, sitting beside you on the bed. You’re not sure if you want to be next to him right now—or if you want to accept the hand that’s reaching for your shoulder—so you stand up and walk aimlessly to the dresser. “Are they still downstairs?”

“No, I told her we can work out all the details soon...but that now wouldn’t be a good time to stay.”

Work out the details? Which means more contact. But that was going to happen anyway. Here come more thoughts of him at her place, her at yours, a little family that doesn’t include you—

“But how are you going to get in contact with each other?”

“...I gave her my number.” Johnny is hesitant, like he thinks this maybe isn’t the right answer. Or at least not the one you want to hear. “There wasn’t much else I could do…and I doubt you want her coming back up here anytime soon.”

You don’t think very deeply about the repercussions of what you say next; you’re too consumed by your panicked thoughts. “Maybe we should separate.”

Johnny stands up now too, his eyes almost comically big. “Separate?”

You throw your hands up. “You were with her long before me, and now you have a baby with her. Surprise! What’s stopping me from being the lonely sidechick in this scenario? A stupid ring?”

Johnny looks wounded at that, and you wonder how much more pain will be inflicted on both of you before the day is over. “Our marriage is more than a ‘stupid ring’ or a slip of paper. You told me you loved that ring.”

“I did, and I do, but what does any of it matter anymore?”

“Aren’t you being overdramatic?! Do you truly think I’d leave you over this?” Johnny can feel himself getting more upset, though he tries not to shout. “It’s not like I can’t co-parent with her or something. I’m not going to leave you so I can raise my child.”

“And have you both together all the time. Yeah, that sounds like a wonderful setup.”

“You seem to be forgetting that I barely want to be around her myself! Either way, Youngmi is my child Y/N, I can’t just give up on her and I don’t intend to.”

You dig your heels in, feeling like you’ve made your case and can’t turn back now, even if there is logic to what he’s saying. “Would you even still want to have children with me? You have the baby you’ve always wanted. And your ex seems like the type who wouldn’t be too thrilled if her child had some half-black siblings running around.”

“That’s terrible, Y/N. Just because I have one child doesn’t mean I can’t have more. You sound more like you don’t want to have kids with me anymore.”

“Don’t tell me that!” you shout. “I want everything with you, but you don’t see how people look at me. You’re not the one who has to deal with people thinking you’re unworthy to be with me or that I did you a favor by marrying you. No, that’s what people think of me, all the time, whether they say it or not. It’s in the things they do and how they interact with me.”

Johnny wants to speak, but he doesn’t know what to say to you. It’s not like he’s been completely unaware of your struggles, but he hasn’t heard you articulate it out loud like this before. It makes him feel like a bit of a failure that he couldn’t prevent any of it from happening.

“I just want us to be happy together, with our own family, and—and...I want people to stop looking at me like I’m some damn freak, and…” You pause for a moment to catch your breath, though you find that you can’t as tears begin welling up in your eyes.

Johnny comes closer to you when he sees the tears appearing. He hesitates to touch you, thinking you might reject him again, but when you don’t move away he takes your arms.

“Y/N, please trust me. We are going to stay together, and we’re gonna have the life we both want. I need both you and my child, and I promise we can make this work.”

“Do you think we got married too soon?” you ask him quietly. You haven’t pushed him away this time, but you’re hesitant to respond to his embrace. “Should we have done this at all?”

Johnny puts his forehead to yours, squeezing you tighter as if he could wring the pain out of you. “Don’t doubt this, please. I don’t regret any of this, not for a second.”

“I don’t regret marrying you, either, but I’m just...exhausted. I don’t know how any of this is supposed to work anymore.” A few tears slip out as you say this. You wipe them away as they come, but it isn’t enough to stop the flow. Johnny uses his thumb to wipe them away. His fingers are warm against your skin, like that morning a few days ago.

“Honestly, Y/N, I don’t know either. But we can figure this out.”

You want so much to believe him.

That night when you go to bed, your head is filled with thoughts—so many that it’s hard to get to sleep. You stare at the closed window with the night sky peeking slightly through the blinds, and you try to imagine a future with both of your families in it.

It doesn’t make you happy, but you don’t know what else to do to keep your marriage from falling apart.

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ambwimagines · 5 years

Text

Let's just spend the day together - Johnny Suh

Genre: Fluffy Smut

Word Count:+1000

Requested by: @existentialvacuum

The morning after your fifth anniversary of being boyfriend and girlfriend. Also the night he got down on one knee and proposed. It was the cutest thing how it all went haywire but the boys held their own really well. It was like a surprise party, no one was supposed to tell you anything. You weren't supposed to know. That is until Mark came back to your apartment looking for his charger. "I don't know anything about a surpise engagement party we're throwing for you where Johnny is gonna propose-....shit sorry I meant shoot" You tried to remain calm but you we're gonna go through the roof. When you got there you were directed up to the roof deck. You opened the door and everyone was there. Your friends family and all of NCT of course. Johnny walks over to you kisses you and tells you. "Y/N You're the love of my life, I can't imagine being with out you. I know in our time together you have heard and seen some horrible things from outside spectators I am not calling them 'fans' because my fans actually love and accept you and Love you just as much as I do, hell if not that then more. You are such an amazing woman and you've taught me so much about being a better person. I just hope I stand here good enough today to ask of you your hand in marriage." He closes out his statement while he gets on one knee. He pulls out this tiny red velvet box opening it to expose the most gorgeous ring you have ever seen in your entire life. You yelp and giggle trying to tame yourself but begin crying tears of joy. "Y/F/N, Will you marry me ?" He asks looking up at you smiling. You look all around and there are nothing but smiles of approval. Everyone looking at the both of you in pure love and adoration. "Girl, what the hell are you waiting on !?" You friend asks and everyone laughs. "Yes" you say with the smile shining through your voice. Everyone cheers and claps and applauds. Taeyong wheels out the specialty cake from your favorite bakery and Mark let's off the fireworks. After a night like that it was amazing that you both had any energy left. Johnny was pulling off your clothes before you both even got back to the apartment. You both wore each other out. Making love to each other with the same kind of vigor. "I love you so much" you spoke breathlessly to Johnny as he lapped kisses all over your face and neck coincidentally one of those kisses being planted on your lips as you spoke. "I love you to the ends of the earth Y/N" Johnny said to you as he pushed himself deep inside you. The clawing at his back, the deep strokes, and the incessant skin slapping lasted until the few hours of the morning.

You woke back up around seven in the morning. You reach out your arms to stretch and feel an empty bedside. You sit up with and look around the room then suddenly you hear a loud crash come from the kitchen. You fling the cover away from your body. Put your feet on the floor and stand up and you begin rushing to the kitchen. You slow down seeing johnny shirtless in his black boxers stirring something in a bowl. He looks up at you and speaks. "Good morning my gorgeous fiancée" the word in itself made your heart flutter. "Good morning, my love" you answer back. "I was gonna make you breakfast in bed but..." He says pausing. "But what ?" You inquire. He puts down the bowl walking over to you and grabbing you up in his arms. "I would much rather make you my breakfast" he says carrying you to the counter. He kisses your neck breathing in your scent. He peels his white button up away from your body while you gently swing your feet back and forth. He puts his oddly cold hand on your stomach trying to get you to lay back on the kitchen counter.

Your back comes in contact with the cold counter-top sending a shiver down your spine. Johnny steps away from you for a bit to go to the fridge he comes back with strawberries and whipped cream. He sets the strawberries beside you. Shaking up the whipped cream with one hand he looks at your body with intent. Using his free hand he stokes your body from your left breast down your side back to your abdomen. “You’re so beautiful, I have the most gorgeous wife ever” he says. You are in pure ecstasy, your back arched off the counter top. Johnny takes one of the strawberries out of the bowl and feeds it to you. He removes the cap from the whipped cream and places a line of it on your neck. Sensually he dives down to lap every last trace of it up lastly sucking on the area and ending with a kiss. “you’re so sexy” he breathlessly moans.

He comes up to survey your body once more. Looking for his next spot to stimulate your most sensitive of nerves. He puts circles on each nipple covering the nipple and areola then puts a hot stripe down your abdomen just above your navel. He gravitates to your left nipple first and you moan out his name. After cleaning up the left he goes to the right doing the same flashing you a devilish smile to let you know that he knows exactly what he’s doing. He cleans the right and breathes over the strip of whipped cream he made. He looks up at your face breathing heavily. Your body temperature was rising steadily. “I better hurry before you get hot enough to melt it babe” He says cockily. He slowly drags his tongue across the smooth skin of your stomach relishing in the way it feels under his tongue. He flicks it back and forth ever so lightly and it hits the most deep, basal nerves you never even knew you had causing you to squirm under him. Finally he gets to the cusp of your navel and kisses it making you squirm even more. “Why do you wanna run, you taste so good.” Johnny says kissing the top of your pussy making you beg and plead for him to keep going. “Be patient my love, I wanna taste you too but I wanna make sure you want this.” “Johnny you have literally eaten my pussy a thousand times whether I wanted you to or not, please babe just this one it feels too good for you to tease.” You breathlessly admit to him trying to get him to see how unfair he is being right now. He breathes over your wetness causing you to yelp. Smiling from satisfaction. “Time to give my needy baby girl what she’s been begging daddy for.” Johnny licks a hot stripe up your wetness and kisses your clit sucking it back into his mouth. You steadily squirm letting your miniature orgasms wash over you. "Does that feel good baby ?" He asks kissing your nether lips. "Baby" you manage to get out gripping either ends of the counter and rolling your hips into his mouth. You lick your lips and throw your head back. He grabs your hips eating you out harder you throw your legs up pointing your toes. Your body was going to surge with pleasure. He sucked your clit one last time and you locked your legs around his neck bucking your hips from you powerful orgasm. Feeling his lips release from your clit. He pulls your legs away from his neck and he stands up sliding down his boxers stroking himself while poking and prodding at your entrance. "Baby, just put it in me" you laugh and whine to him. "Easy, little miss needy" he teases rubbing your entrance with the head of his member some more. You squirm underneath him for the 15th time. At least that’s what it feels like. A feeling only he can give to you. A feeling only he knows how to make you feel. His light hands ghosted over your brown torso. His index finger tracing your belly button. You inhale preparing for him to enter. It never works though with one swift thrust he was inside you causing you to suck in air. He goes slowly even though you’re physically adjusted to his size. He rubs your sides while slowly stroking you. Gentle touches and sweet kisses endowed by him. “You always feel so amazing.” He breathes out. You moan and arch your back grabbing his forearms. You press your back against the counter once again. Johnny reaches around you to cradle your spine in his hand. He brings both hands to support your arched back and lowers himself on top of you. He brings his face to yours and kisses you slowly. Your body feels on fire the way it always does with him. Johnny was perfect for you in so many instances. It was just perfect with him. Johnny would do so much to please you and it sent you right over the edge every time. “I love you so much Johnny” You say your lips nearly touching his. “I love you more Y/N” he says kissing your lips one more time. He breaks the kiss with an audible smack “baby, I’m cumming” he announces he comes up from you and uses his fist to support himself while he pounds into you for his last few strokes. He slams into you deep and let’s himself spill right into you. It was his first time cumming inside you. He always pulled out and came on your stomach or thigh. But you both watched in amazement has he slowly pulled himself out of you letting a bit of his seed drip in the process. You looked at the aftermath. Just over the slight bulge in your stomach he came so much you just weren’t able to contain all of him. You bit your lip smiling at the sight.

Y/N: I hope it’s a boy Johnny: I hope so to

He bends down again kissing you small audible pecks you two share as he lays you back on the kitchen counter again.

Thanks for the requests, thanks for reading even though I said I would be more consistent with posting and I FAILED. Thank you for supporting still.

-Kayla

#AMBW #ambw smut #ambw kpop #johnny suh #NCT #nct127 #kpop smut #kpop fluff

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andysorbit · 1 year

Note

Riding Johnny so good his thighs start shaking > I need him so bad 😭 help

I say this with all the love I have in my heart... bless your soul but also fuck you

I log in for the morning and immediately get snatched by my fkn edges JESUS

You both just keep going at it and neither of you wanna stop because it just feels too good so after he cums, you kiss and he just smiles weakly at you,

"My greedy little girl. Don't wanna stop, do you?" he asks as he tries his best to stay in the moment but he's losing the battle and you nod.

Johnny would place one hand on your hip and the other around your neck and he'd watch your tits bounce in a dreamy daze.

You'd just keep riding him, "You like that, daddy? Huh? You like feeling my pussy milk your cock? Oooh, it's still so hard, daddy. So fucking hard," You whimper.

It's becoming too much to keep going but the idea of stopping makes you want to cry because the feel of him inside you and the way his eyes lazily pass back and forth between your body and your eyes is magnetic.

"Babe... fuck. Keep going. Don't you dare stop," he pants as his thighs begin to shake and the grip he has on your neck weakens for a only a moment.

A tear rolls down your cheek and you roll your hips.

Johnny wraps his arms around your waist and crushes your bodies together, "Come on, beautiful. Just... don't stop " he moans.

You both tremble wildly but you keep going and he kisses you roughly, "S- such a... fuck... such a- such a wet cunt. Soaked... soaked with my cum. You... you fucking feel it just leaking out of you? God.” he’d drawl on and try so hard to still maintain some level of control over you and you’d both just be victims of overstimulation due to the sheer greed you both obviously let consume you.

#neoculturecollectives #andy's mail #johnny suh smut #johnny suh #nct smut #nct 127 smut #johnny smut #nct hard thoughts #nct hard hours #ambw nct #nct ambw #johnny hard thoughts #johnny hard hours #johnny ambw

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andysorbit · 1 year

Note

no but imagine johnny’s aftercare after literally fucking the living soul out of you 😩

MINORS DNI

Johnny's the type to literally fuck your throat like I'm talking your head hanging off the side of the bed while he's just absolutely degrading you.

"God, such a good throat... this is all you fucking are to me- a hole to fuck. This mouth is mine, this throat is mine, and you exist to be used. If you're not taking my cock, what good are you?" he'd jeer as he held your head steady.

He wouldn't stop until the head of his cock is pressing into the back of your throat and you're gagging helplessly but too caught up in it to stop him because it's just too good.

"Gonna make sure you feel me in that tight little throat for days. Gonna be so sore and all you're gonna be able to think about is how I used you. Fucking slut... you love being used. You love having your throat fucked," he'd drawl on as he shows you no mercy.

"You always scare me. I wonder if it's too much and you never use the safeword. Such a tough girl but so fuckin' nasty," he says as he hands you a popsicle, "Here, maybe we can stave off that sore throat."

He gets back into bed and pulls you into his arms.

You eat in silence and he just holds you, "I love you. Don't you ever forget that, okay?" he whispers.

You nod; your throat to tender to speak, you take his hand in yours.

"I know you love me, beautiful. I'm positive you do." he whispers as he brings a hand to the small of your back to cuddle you closer.

#neoculturecollectives #andy's mail #johnny suh smut #johnny smut #nct smut #nct 127 smut #kpop smut #nct hard thoughts #nct hard hours #ambw nct #nct ambw

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andysorbit · 9 months

Text

I know I said I wasn't gonna be posting anything new but I lied 😗 its the Yuta stan in me... just lying unprovoked.

Okay but like... imagine being on your knees while Johnny towers over you and jerks himself off.

"Tongue out. Come on," he pants as he strokes himself faster. The leaking head of his cock rests against your tongue and you hum eagerly.

"Yeah, that's daddy's little cum dump. Dying to swallow it aren't you?" he chuckles.

You close your eyes and nod.

"Use your words, beautiful. Don't you nod at me," he chides, "And I didn't tell you to close your eyes. Look at me."

"Yes, daddy," You pipe up, "M'sorry."

"That's it. Tongue out a little more... just like that," he sighs as his cum shoots across your tongue and into your mouth.

You moan as you swallow and more cum covers your lips and your chin.

"That's my girl... swallow daddy's cum, baby... that's it... fuck, you're so pretty," he sighs as his hand slows down.

You lick your lips and Johnny swipes his thumb over your chin and your lips to push his excess release into your mouth.

#neoculturecollectives #nct #nct smut #kpop smut #nct 127 #nct 127 smut #nct hard hours #nct hard thoughts #johnny suh #johnny smut #johnny hard thoughts #johnny suh hard hours #nct x black!reader #nct x plus sized reader #ambw kpop #ambw fic #kpop ambw

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andysorbit · 1 year

Text

I'm fkn losing my shit okay?? hear me out yall

Minors dni

Johnny is the type of dude who would totally hover over you while he's fingering you. Eyes locked on yours absolutely praising you.

He'd be all like "such a good fucking girl. You like feeling daddy play with your pussy?"

And you'd be so fucked out that you'd just nod and he'd laugh at you so fucking cocky and then rub your clit faster until you cum and he'd just keep going until you're whimpering and scooting away from him but he's not the type to hold you in place to keep you from getting away from him.

Oh please no fucking way.

This man would stay right where he is and let you scoot yourself away from him and when you'd get a good little distance away and think you're out of the water, he'd say some smug bossy shit like

"You really thought I was gonna let you get away from me? Get your ass back over here."

And he'd grab you by your leg and effortlessly pull you back to him and hold you down because if there's anything this man loves, it's using any opportunity to show off how easy it is to get you to do exactly what he wants whenever he wants

#neoculturecollectives #nct smut #kpop smut #nct #nct 127 smut #nct 127 #johnny nct #johnny suh smut #Johnny smut #nct hard thoughts #nct hard hours #johnny suh #nct headcanons #ambw nct #ambw smut #ambw kpop #nct ambw #kpop ambw

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andysorbit · 1 year

Note

I know requests are closed but I looooved the Jaehyun as a sugar daddy thing - can you do one for Johnny when requests open again?

Yes requests are closed but... it's Johnny like... come on

Minors DNI

"I bought you that already? I kinda feel like I bought you that." Because he just buys you whatever and isn't necessarily fussy about keeping score.

Spoils you rotten but also has a barter system

"Okay so you said you wanted to learn how to read music. I got you a music teacher. You want those shoes? Prove it.

Invested in an in-home photo studio so he can take nasty ass pictures of you for his personal art collection

Is in love with you and is definitely not bashful about it

"So uh... I'm traditional I guess but if you don't want people calling you my trophy wife when I marry your ass because I'm gonna marry you, you can like... get a job or something? Only if you want to. You know I got you."

Big on cock warming during phone conferences

"I promise they can't see you, babe. The camera isn't on. Come on, sit down like a good girl."

Loves bringing you to charity events and business conventions and fucking you in random places like in the restrooms or in empty conference rooms

Bought you a clone-a-willy as a joke but you still use it when he's away

Likes that you look at him like he's an entire universe

Doesn't like that people put him on a pedestal because he's rich

But he loves that you practically worship the ground he walks on because he knows you mean it

Doesn't make you call him daddy in public

Y'all are equals in public but if you call yourself stepping out of line, when you get home... it's game over

"You say you love me and you value our time together but somehow you counted five orgasms... how is that?"

He has cute nicknames for you that he doesn't say too loudly in public because he hates the idea of people seeing you as anything less than the powerful Queen that you are

He's sure to whisper any degrading or fluffy things to you

"Are you ready go home yet, Button? Daddy's bored."

"Wanna go home so I can tear this dress off of you? It's so expensive but it is just so... flimsy. I bet I could tear it off in one go. Bet on it?"

You both would proceed to bet his money

And he'd tear it off in one go just like he said he would. Like you both knew he could.

He's a classy gym rat

He loves working out in his home fitness room while you watch.

Measures his gym progress on how easily he can toss your ass around

"See how strong daddy's getting, Button? And you're getting flimsier... just like that dress."

Is either the most passionate and tender guy in bed or he's the spawn of satan and laughs when you're crying and fucked out but begging him to keep going

"God... why are you such a slut? Huh? Can you even answer me right now or are you too dumb and fucked out to form a coherent sentence?"

Aftercare king

"Good girl, Button. How are you feeling?"

Did he beat someone's ass for calling you a gold digger? Did he fire people for gossiping about you? Did he pay to have your picture up on a Times Square billboard because he knew you'd see it? Those are all rumors.

You're his person and he's not afraid to say it or beat it into anyone's brain

#neoculturecollectives #nct smut #nct #nct 127 #nct 127 smut #kpop smut #andy's mail #johnny nct #johnny suh smut #johnny suh #nct hard thoughts #nct hard hours #nct ambw

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andysorbit · 1 year

Text

With Love, John (M)

Summary: John is a personality all of his own. He can talk to anyone, charm everyone, and still go home with no one because he's bored of it. Bored of the blushing, tired of the smiling eyes with brows arched up in awe of him, sick to death of the strands of hair being pushed behind bright red ears because he is an Adonis among mortals. Then there's you. His ice water. The girl who makes him obsessed with a single poem because although those words aren't yours, you've opened a dictionary just for him and the words splash him and freeze him in place.

Non-idol!Johnny x Fem!reader

Andy's note: This is kinda long. I know, I know, I know. But!! It hit me a few days ago and I HAD to write it. This is my fkn baby. I put both ass cheeks into this and my ADHD-induced hyperfixation had a gorilla grip on me. I love Phil Kaye and I highly recommend you watch Phil perform Repetition here. Everything here will make sense if you do. I promise.

Genre: slight angst, mentions of childhood trauma, slow burn-ish, smut, romance, strangers to lovers

Warnings: Mentions of suicide, childhood trauma, oral sex, vaginal fingering, vaginal penetration, overstimulation, daddy kink, slight edging, dirty talk, unprotected sex, slight dacryphilia (blink and you’ll miss it), slight katoptronophilia 🪞 (blink and you’ll miss this too), praise kink, strength kink, size kink, is Johnny boy an overindulgence of the kind of man I want? Yes and idgaf.

Playlist: Close to You - The Carpenters, It’s The Falling in Love - Michael Jackson, Feelin’ You - Jesse McCartney, Cave Me In - Gallant, Tablo, Eric Nam, As It Was - PREP, From Eden - Hozier, I Feel Good All Over - Stephanie Mills, Punch Drunk Recreation - Jesse McCartney, NFWMY - Hozier, Like Real People Do - Hozier, Play Me - Taemin

You're flat.

Deadpan and cold like the ice cubes in your coffee on days when the sun refuses to set and you just want to leave.

You never know why you want to leave.

It's boredom.

Dissatisfaction.

Wherever you are, you just want to leave and when you do leave, you always want to go back to the place you left.

It's a pattern of boredom.

Of missing your friends and counting the minutes until you can get away from them the minute they're around you.

Of reading books and skipping to the end because you don't have the patience to take your time finding out what will happen.

A spoiler never ruined anything for you.

You wish life could be that convenient.

You wish you could skip to the end to see if this shit that feels more like poorly written filler actually has a point or if you're an NPC set up for everything yet destined for nothing.

The tall guy comes into the store on an evening that feels exactly like every other evening and you think it's Wednesday until Ningning tells you that it's actually Friday and you grunt because it's just that bad.

"Excuse me. Could I talk to you for a minute?" the tall guy asks you.

"Yeah... just gimme a minute," you mutter as you finish updating the inventory and Ningning is star eyes and nerves as she fixes her shirt and tucks a lock if hair behind her ear.

He's not that cute.

"What's up?" You ask as you turn to him.

"I noticed that you read a lot. Could you recommend me a book? I'm running out of things and I've picked some duds lately," he says and his voice is like sex and candy and crushed flower petals.

"What genre?" You ask him.

"Any kind. Doesn't matter." He replies as he shifts nervously.

"Date and Time. Phil Kaye. Come on, I'll grab you a copy. Ningning, stay on the register," You say and walk off.

The tall guy follows behind you and as you navigate the narrow paths of the bookstore lined with high bookshelves you know he thinks you're pretty.

It doesn't matter to you though. What does being pretty do for anyone? Nothing if you don't meet the right people.

You turn a corner and pull the book off the shelf, "Here. It's one of the best books I've ever read," You say as you place it into his hands.

He examines the book, "Really?" he asks.

You nod, "You can feel free to sit and skim it if you want."

"I'm John by the way," he says and smiles at you.

"Y/n. If you're trying to steal it, I will punch you in the throat," You say and turn to head back to the registers.

"No- I... I just think you're beautiful," he says and drops his gaze for a moment.

You highly doubt the glare you're giving him really has him that flustered but he's good at pretending.

"So did every man that's ever fucked me over. Get in line." You say as you turn and make your way back to the front of the store

Ningning quits when she finds out that a swanky fashion store at The Oculus in Tribeca hired her.

You're not upset.

She's not really a book-selling girl.

She likes fashion and rich boys who drive fast cars. She hates her roommate Minjeong and working in The Oculus is her step up. It's a higher wage and a step closer to an apartment she can share with her rich boyfriend and not with the girl who may or may not be moving up in the fashion industry a little bit faster.

You don't think Minjeong is a bad person but Ningning is young and one day, she'll see it too.

You post a 'now hiring' sign in the window, one on the counter between both registers, one by the lounge, and one on the patron bathroom door then pray someone worth their salt inquires before the day is over.

This isn't even your fucking shop.

It was your friends until it wasn't. She dreamt of opening a book store and you didn't. You had no sense of direction and were more than content to just work for her. She met some guy named Yuta and you didn't even know the shop was in your name until the mail started coming in.

She signed everything over to you and disappeared. The letter she left is as theatrical as she is. Repetition is her enemy just as it is everyone's but she, like Ningning, likes rich boys who drive fast cars and she fell in love with a rich boy with a fast car who drove her away from you.

Her letter begged you not to hate her and it also begged you not to look for her and you still roll your eyes when it crosses your mind.

John, the tall guy, comes in and he smiles, "So... you're hiring?" he asks eagerly.

"That's what the sign says, right?" You grunt.

"Can I apply?"

The air is thick and his eyes pierce yours. "Don't you have a job?" You ask him flatly.

"I did but... now I don't," he replies with a shrug.

"You know how to work a register?" You ask.

He nods.

"You know how to make coffee, tea, and espresso?" You ask him.

He nods, "I literally worked at a coffee shop I'm like... Michael Jackson with beverages. I got this and I already know my way around the store," he replies with a smile.

He's probably never heard the word 'no' in his life.

"Fine. You fuck up, you're fired. This is my store so I'm HR. The last guy I hired liked my ass. He touched it and I put his face through the fucking counter. Do your job, keep your hands to yourself, and if you're looking for love, download Hinge. Girls come here to read, not to get hit on," You say.

"I doubt anyone who comes in here is as pretty as you are but okay," he says coyly.

"I come here to work, not to get hit on. Do it again and you can go back to that coffee shop. What's your availability?" You say as you take a tablet off the back counter. You navigate the prompts to get him registered.

"Whenever. Just no weekends." He says as he pokes around with the register prompts. The cash drawer jumps open and he slams it shut, "I can definitely work the register," he says proudly.

You nod, "Hooray. The store opens at eight, closes at six. That's a full shift. Monday through Friday. You get twenty-five bucks an hour. Breaks are paid because it just randomly gets too busy for one person to handle everything alone but there's plenty of downtime in between for you to recoup. You got an emergency? Let me know. Jisung, Chenle, and Yeri work weekends. If one of them can't make it, you or I will come in for them. I'll probably send you in. Get a set of keys from the cubby under the register."

You pause and wait for John to get the keys. Once he does, you continue,

"It has three keys. Front door, closet, employee restroom. There is no back stock room. If it's not shelved, we don't have it. Also, the customer isn't always right. If someone's being a bitch, you can tell them. Fist fights are fine but don't destroy my shit. A guy named Jonghyun comes in sometimes. Never charge him full price for anything. I will fire you if you do. He's an angel and we will move heaven and earth to keep him happy." You explain.

"Is he your boss?" John asks. "Nope. He's just the only man I've ever met who doesn't turn my stomach and he's really wonderful." You reply.

John nods.

The patrons browse silently and you pass the tablet to John, "Fill this out. I'll approve it tonight and you're all set." You tell him and take a minute to sip your coffee.

John taps in his information and his hands are beautiful.

You stare at them for a moment before he interrupts you to inform you that he's finished, "Thanks, Y/n," he says.

"It's fine," You say casually.

John is chatty. It's not a bad thing but you don't talk much unless you're familiar with people and your social battery is still drained from going out for drinks with old college friends the previous night and listening to how much they envy you. They're all in long-term relationships, traveling every holiday, and living. How could they envy a life that's as thrilling as dryer lint?

As the days turn onward, you find that John is a splash of color to your grey backdrop.

You don't lose track of the days anymore, you look forward to drinking his coffee and teas, and you like listening to him tell you about himself.

You've learned that his family is short and that nobody expected him to grow to be well over six feet tall but his mom cheated on her husband with the really tall man who gave her a really great deal on a 1995 Chevy Cavalier.

You also learn that he played basketball in high school and college and could've gone pro but he hated it and just liked the attention from girls.

Your favorite newfound story is that his mother confessed the affair and that led to you to learning that his biological father, wasn't entirely a bad guy despite the circumstances and he gifted John a 2013 Jeep Wrangler that he still owns.

John likes to read, he likes cheap wine, samosas, and nineties video games. He prefers savory foods over sweet ones and his favorite thing about his new job is that he can get home to watch Wheel of Fortune on time.

"Date and Time is... really good, Y/n," John says on a snowy Valentine's Day morning. You nod and pretend not to notice the small heart-shaped box and a card in the cubby under your register, "What's your favorite poem?" You ask him softly.

For the first time, there's no bite in your voice; no vocal defense to continue building an invisible barrier to separate you.

"Repetition," he replies.

You stop reviewing the orders for the day, "Why?" You ask.

"Because... I don't know... it's pretty relatable I guess? Sunsets are just six PM now and I don't remember why I wake up anymore," he says and smiles bashfully.

You nod in agreement.

Phil fucking Kaye is a man who wrote your life story and never met you.

A man whose words hit you as if he called you out in a room full of everyone you've ever known and read your browser history aloud is bonding you to some guy you're not even sure you really even like.

"It's my favorite too," You pipe up, "My parents got divorced when I was younger but... they never fully separated. They co-parented under the same roof and it was just as bad as it sounds. All the other kids with divorced parents envied me but they didn't know how hellish it was and I was in the middle of it all. Sometimes they'd give each other the silent treatment for days and vent to me. I learned more about them than any kid should know about their parents and..."

You trail off and smooth out your sweater. John's interest is peaked and you don't feel like stopping yourself,

"Life became a game of repetition. Tense silence, being silently dragged in two opposing directions, never inviting friends over... after a while, I stopped calling it a bad life... it just became home life. After a while, hearing 'your mother is a selfish bitch' just becomes like anything else you hear. 'Time for dinner', 'your father's a liar', 'I never wanted kids', 'make sure you stay away from boys', 'I love you, kiddo'... all starts to sound the same."

John nods, "I get it. My stepdad- the guy I thought was my dad until the growth spurts started, made us do family therapy with my real dad. My mom broke their hearts. My dad didn't know she was married and my stepdad convinced himself that she only did it because she knew he'd give her a cheap deal on purchasing the car." John says with a frown.

"Did he ever come to grips with it?" You ask.

"Yeah... then he killed himself," John deadpans.

You gasp, "Oh shit. I'm sorry," You say and John just shrugs.

"I hear that a lot. It doesn't mean anything anymore. Like... what are you guys even sorry for?" he laughs humorlessly and turns to the registers, "You gonna stop pretending you don't see that?"

You sigh and give him a weak smile, "I didn't get you anything. I'm sorry," You say sheepishly.

"Don't be. It's not really conventional considering our 'I talk and you listen' relationship is literally just me talking and you listening. Open the card at least," he says and reaches for it.

He gently places it in your waiting hand and you open it. The pink card has a porcupine holding little red hearts in its tiny hands and beneath it are the words written:

"I think you're porcu-fine!"

You chuckle, "Really? That's cute," You say as you glance at him and notice his prideful smile,

"I finally made you smile," he says sweetly.

"The card made me smile," You object quietly.

"Come on, open it," he urges you.

You open the card and see a fifty-dollar gift card for Wine World and you smile again.

In his playful scrawl, there's a message inside the card on its white canvas:

I think you're a Moscato sort of lady. Happy Love Day, boss.

With love, John

You smile, "Thank you, John," You say quietly.

John waves a hand at you, "Seeing you smile is rewarding enough. I was beginning to think your face would crack if you ever tried to," he says.

"I feel bad for not getting you anything," You say, "I- This is really nice and I wanna thank you for this somehow."

John smirks, "You can come back to my place and we can order takeout and watch Wheel of Fortune or we could go somewhere and have dinner or... I don't know as long as we can eat together," he says as his eyes search yours.

You toss the idea around in your head. "It's not a date," You cautiously.

"Oh God forbid." He shoots back with a playful smirk.

You both opt for a Cuban restaurant and as you walk there, you realize that John lives a lot closer to the bookstore than you realized. Twenty minutes from the store and thirty-six minutes from your apartment.

"Now I'll have to bring you bagels on the weekends. Gross," he tells you as you both eat.

"You don't have to do that," You reply.

"It's more of a want. You like cinnamon raisin bagels, don't you?" he says.

You nod, "Yeah. How'd you know?" You suspiciously.

John smiles, "The way you like your coffee. Extra light and extra sweet. It was just a guess," he replies coyly.

You lean back in your seat, "Are you always so observant, Columbo?" You ask.

John nods, "Yeah. I can't help it and you're just so fascinating. You kinda remind me of Goob from Meet the Robinsons. I watch people come into the shop and they're so enamored with you- the waitress hasn't taken her eyes off of you since we got here and you just slump along... and you think you're universally despised or overlooked when in reality, everyone is in love with you and that scowl you can't seem to shake. You're an enigma."

John skirts his finger around the rim of his beer bottle and you frown, "Okay, Heath Ledger, did you practice that in the mirror while you were in the bathroom?" You mutter.

He laughs, "Of course I did. I made you smile today. Eventually, I'm gonna make you blush."

"Don't count on it." You tell him with as much conviction as you can muster up.

When the wine hits you, you feel sleepy and very cozy, "Take me home. I'm tired," You groan.

"My place or yours?" he asks teasingly.

"Yours." You say softly.

John's straightens up, "You don't mean that," he says but you know he's hoping that you do.

"Of course, I don't," You say with a satisfied smirk.

"Tease," he chuckles as he waves the waitress over for the bill.

John walks you right to your apartment door and his hand softly moves up to stroke your cheek, "See you tomorrow, boss," he says and you can see that he's also just a little too drunk.

"Will you make it home safely?" You ask him as you fish your keys out of your coat pocket.

"Yeah. I'll let you know when I get there," he says.

Before you can stop yourself, you hug him tightly, "Thank you for today. It was really good and I didn't realize how much I needed it," You whisper against his chest.

He circles his arms around you and then brings one hand up to stroke your hair, "Anytime," he whispers. He feels warm and smells good like old books, lemon balm, and aftershave.

You inhale him once more and let go, "I think I'll leave the shop closed tomorrow. We're supposed to get a snowstorm anyway. Take the day off " You say as you unlock your door.

"You got it, boss." John says as he slowly makes his way to the elevator.

You steal one last glance at him as the elevator doors close.

His brown eyes meet with yours and he winks.

Your intercom buzzes and wakes you up. "What the hell," You whine as you get up.

You practically drag yourself to the intercom, "What?" You grunt before pressing the listen button.

You refuse to react and opt to scream in your pillow once you're in the privacy of your bedroom.

"I have bagels and coffee. Let me in," John says and you can hear the wind whistling around him.

You buzz him in and run to brush your teeth. There's no time to tidy up but getting rid of your morning breath will do.

He knocks on the door and you rush to open it, "Are you insane?" You all but yell.

John smiles and if it were possible, he could beckon Spring back early.

His entire face is red and damp from the bitter bite of the wild snowstorm raging on outside.

He sets down his bag and you help him out of his coat, "I'll go put on some coffee. Jesus, John, you're a popsicle," You sigh.

You bring the bag into the kitchen and empty its contents onto the counter. Bagels, cream cheese, strawberry jam, and ground coffee.

You fight a smirk as you set up the coffee maker.

John comes in, "No funny business, hold me. I'm cold," he says as he waits for you with outstretched arms.

You stare at him unamused.

"Bring it in, mama. Daddy needs body heat," he says as he tries his damnedest to fight the playful grin tugging at the corners of his lips.

"No," You say standing your ground.

"I'm gonna get you. Come here, you grumpy shrew," he says in a mocking voice and he inches closer to you.

He encases his arms around you and you hum, "Fine but only because you brought me bagels," You don't mind hugging him.

Surprisingly, you love it.

"Whatever the reason, I don't care," he hums against the top of your head.

He leads you in a very slow dance and you rest against his chest still groggy with sleep.

He pulls back and stares at you, "I think this is the part where we kiss," he whispers.

You fight a smile, "Okay," You whisper back. "That's all? 'Okay'?" he laughs.

"Fine. Bring it in, daddy. Mama needs a kiss. Is that better?" You say sarcastically.

Johnny presses a hand into the small of your back, "That's perfect... Good girl," he purrs.

"Oh stop it," You hiss sheepishly as you press your face into his chest.

"Are you flustered? That means you're blushing. C'mon, lemme see that pretty face," he says and his voice is coated in sex and sweetness as he pulls back to examine your face.

You know he's filing this away for a later time and you avoid meeting his eyes with yours.

"You can let all of those guards down, Y/n. I've already got you and we both know it," he says smugly.

He dips down to press his lips to yours and you believe him.

He's got you.

You let him take the lead and he kisses you so hungrily that you have to fight to stop yourself from squeezing your thighs together in front of him.

"Why do you feel the need to get me?" You ask against his lips.

He squeezes you tighter to him and trails kisses along your jaw, "Because you've never made me feel special," he whispers.

"Well, no offense but... you're just a guy. Flawed and human like anyone else, why would I worship you?" You tell him.

"And that's exactly why I'm so drawn to you. Around you, I don't matter," he chuckles.

You look up at him, "You sound insane. Make it make sense," You say.

"I hit my first real growth spurt when I was ten. That's when everything fell apart and my mom confessed everything. How do you look your ten-year-old son in his eyes and tell him that the man he's been calling daddy- the man who signed his birth certificate and raised him isn't his actual father? At first, my biological dad rejected me and my stepdad cried every time he looked at me so I did what any rejected ten year old boy would do, Y/n... I made sure everyone liked me. Everyone, all the time. It wasn't hard because I was already the kid everyone liked but I just never had bad days, never had down days. I was just always smiling everywhere I went because I never smiled at home," John trails off and holds you as close as he can get.

You let him and you stroke his back, "You need therapy," You say and he laughs, "See what I mean?"

He kisses you again, "I didn't walk through a blizzard with bagels to be abused. Eat with me and then let's just sleep," he says and pulls away from you, "Come on."

You take two plates out from the cabinet over the sink, "Why didn't you drive?" You ask him.

"I hate driving when it snows," he says.

You two clamber into your living room; cups full of coffee and bagels on plates and you watch the snow wildly rip through the air. The silence is comfortable and John offers you a bite of his bagel. It's a plain bagel with a small amount of cream cheese and some strawberry jam. It's a nice change from your usual cinnamon raisin with more cream cheese than bagel.

"Am I your boyfriend yet?" he asks. It's a whisper of a question that you almost don't hear.

"Ask me later," You reply and turn to share a smile with him.

"Okay," he says and scoots over to you, "You have jelly on your lip and I would very much like to be a cheeseball and kiss it away... can I? I mean, it's not a lot so it'd be a waste to use a napkin."

You laugh and lean into him then lick your lips, "Did I get it?" You ask playfully.

"You want the truth?" he counters.

"Nuh uh," You say.

"It's still there," he whispers and leans in to slot his mouth against yours. Your stomach and chest flutter and flip.

"I think it's later now. Am I your boyfriend yet?" he hums against your lips and his tongue dips past your lips.

You nod.

John pulls away, "I wanna hear you say it."

"You're my boyfriend," You say to him and he smiles contently, "Righteous."

He gently takes your coffee cup from your hand and places it on the coffee table then guides your hands to his chest, "So we're together now. It's official," he says proudly.

Together.

After many dates and stolen kisses in the bookstore, you think you've completely fallen for John. His hands rubbing gentle circles into your back when he hugs you has become an addiction that you never hesitate to indulge yourself with. Your hardened exterior finally crumbled and you can honestly say that you love this man. He knows it but he's gentle and patient.

You shut down the registers and smile, "If you insist," You say softly.

"I do... Spend the night with me this time," he whispers as he comes up behind you.

"Too much dip on your chip, buddy," You say flatly as he turns you around to face him, "I can be convinced though."

John kisses your forehead, "We can have dinner and eat ice cream..." he kisses your lips then trails kisses down your neck, "Then I can paint your nails and we can watch a scary movie and I could hold you when you get scared."

He presses his lips to the pulse at the base of your throat and your eyes squeeze shut. "Paint my nails?" You repeat incredulously.

"I had a summer job in my cousin's nail salon for three summers," he says proudly, "I can even give you cute little decorations."

He has you as he always does and you just want to be as close to him as you can get. "Let's go then," You whisper.

You stop off at a pharmacy and pick up polish remover and a few bottles of nail polish. Pink, rusty orange, teal, and black.

"Okay, let's go see what ice cream they have," John says as his hand envelopes yours.

You let your mind wander, just for a moment, to how his hands would feel as they roamed over your body and you purse your lips.

You pass the family planning aisle and he stops, "Should we get condoms?" he asks you gently, "It's totally up to you."

You don't want to be so obvious so you pretend to think about it, "I think we should... just in case," You say shyly.

He leads you down the aisle and he actually looks nervous for a moment.

You squeeze his hand, "Well... you know yourself better than anyone," You pipe up as you stop in front of the array of condoms.

He chews his bottom lip as his eyes scan over the different boxes. He grabs a box of extra-large Magnums and you freeze in place.

John laughs quietly, "Are you okay?" he asks.

"I- I- uh- you got extra large. You know what size you picked up, right?" You babble.

John leans into you, "Yeah... I know, baby," he replies and his smile is just too delicious.

"Oh... okay then," You say and try to stay cool.

"I'll be gentle with you. I promise," h says and you all but collapse into a puddle.

After settling in and having dinner, you and John tidy up.

"Come get changed so we can do your nails," he says gently.

You nod and follow him into his room. He opens a drawer and takes out a slightly worn Keith Whitley t-shirt. "Pants or no?" he asks.

"No... I don't usually sleep in pants. Don't like it," You say as you take the shirt from him.

"I don't usually sleep in shirts," he says as he fishes sweatpants and another t-shirt out for himself. In a moment of bravery, you strip out of your jeans and sweater and fold them neatly then slip the t-shirt on.

"I was gonna give you some privacy but okay," John chuckles.

You shrug, "It's fine. It's just underwear," You say with a chuckle. John removes his clothes and you gawk just a bit.

"It's just underwear," he repeats and redresses.

You admire the Mike Nesmith t-shirt that he's wearing, "I've never seen these shirts. Are they bedtime exclusives?" You ask.

"Yeah... they've seen their better days," he replies, "Get comfy and I'll go get the polish."

You climb into his bed and inhale his fresh sheets. Your nerves send your thoughts in a thousand different directions at a million miles per hour. You inhale then exhale, "This is fine." You tell yourself.

You glance at his worn down copy of Date and Time on his nightstand and smile.

John comes back in, "Okay, let’s do this," he says as he gets into bed beside you, “Did you decide on a color yet?”

You nod, “Teal for my main color and... orange for my secondary color,” You say.

“Okay so I’ll do orange on your thumb and your fourth finger and the rest will be teal. Sounds good?” John asks as he rolls the teal bottle of polish between his hands.

“Yeah... what are you doing?” You ask him. “Mixing it. It’s better to roll the bottle instead of shaking it. Prevents air bubbles," he says and gives you a cocky grin.

“That’s cool,” You say and he leans in closer,

“Tip me for sharing my knowledge," he says playfully and puckers his lips.

You kiss him softly, “Do a good job and I’ll tip you again ” You say.

“Hold on. Let’s play some music," he says as he reaches past you to get his phone off of the nightstand, "What are you in the mood for, my love?"

You shrug, "Surprise me," You say. He pulls back and you watch him scroll for a minute. He smiles and taps his screen. Lucille by Kenny Rogers plays on the Bluetooth speaker on his dresser, "Here we go... y'know my stepdad liked country music. He had great music taste." John says.

"Did he?" You ask softly.

John nods and fond smile shines through, "I'm still curating a playlist of the songs we used to listen to... it was way too much to remember at once but every once in a while, another song comes back to me then I get to add it to what I have so far."

You smile at him, "Does it help you feel closer to him?" You ask him.

"Yeah... sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never left me" John replies and gets to work on your nails as you both share more stories.

John finishes your nails as hums along softly. "Your voice is pretty," You tell him.

He kisses you gently, "You think so?" he asks. You nod, "Yeah," You say as you pull him into a deeper kiss and he reaches behind you to put the bottles of polish on the nightstand.

"What are you getting at, huh?" he purrs against your lips. "Oh, nothing really." You reply coyly. John pushes you onto your back and stares you down, "Nothing at all?" he asks and peppers your lips and neck with kisses.

"My nails are wet, John," You whisper. "Oh right. Let me help them dry a little faster," he says and brings your hands up so he can gently blow on your nails. "John," You whine.

"They'll be dry soon. Are you wet somewhere else, baby?" he says as he eases up the hem of your shirt ever so slowly. You nod and carefully place your hands on his shoulders to prevent smudging your nail polish.

"Do you want me to touch you? I bet those pretty panties are soaking wet," he dips his hand into your panties and slowly eases his fingers past your folds, "Oh, baby... is this all for me?"

John rubs slow circles into your clit and your eyes flutter shut, "John... faster... please," You whimper. He watches you intently and you involuntarily spread your legs a bit wider. "You stay put and let those nails dry, sweetheart. I'm gonna see just how wet you are. I wanna taste you."

You've never let a guy go down on you and as much as you want it, you're afraid of it, "John... I- I- wait-"

"Baby, it's okay. I need you to trust me, okay? I promise you won't regret this. Just really want you... it's more of a need if I'm honest and if you'll let me, I'll make you feel so good,” John looks at you with hungry eyes and you nod, “Yeah... yeah,” You whisper and just like that, he’s inching down, raising your t-shirt past your hips, and hooking his fingers around your panties.

"Look at me while I do this, okay? Don’t close your eyes," he murmurs as he pulls your panties off entirely and tosses them to the side. You watch him with your hands placed awkwardly on your stomach and you want so badly to run your fingers through his hair.

He holds eye contact as he pushes two fingers into you and sucks on your clit. “John!” You shrill and he shifts to hook one of your legs over his shoulder then brings his arm around to hold you in place.

You buck your hips and throw your head back as you feel him bring you closer to the orgasm you’ve been dreaming about, “Please! Just fuck me, John... I need you inside me.” You beg and John pulls away.

He licks his lips and curls his fingers up to hit your spot, “I am inside you, pretty girl. Is this not enough? Tell me what you want,” he says softly.

“I want you to fuck me... please, John. I need you,” You beg and he sits up to take his shirt off. His toned body is all you need to stop caring about how dry your nails are and you trace your fingertips over his chest and down his stomach.

“Look at what you’re doing to me, Y/n. Feel it," he says and brings your hand down to stroke him through his pants. “Oh God, John,” You gasp. He feels huge and you’re afraid, excited, and overwhelmed all at once.

He bends down to kiss you hard, "I don't even know what I wanna do next... wanna suck your tits, wanna keep eating that pussy out, wanna turn you over and fuck you into this mattress... decisions, decisions," He purrs as he lifts you and takes your t-shirt off. He quickly unhooks your bra and flings it aside, "Shit, babe... Y/n."

He mouths at your nipples and rolls them between his fingers, "You're so gorgeous. Fuck... you like this baby?" he breathes as he presses his face into the valley between your breasts and breathes you in.

"Yeah... John... feels so good," You pant, "I can't take anymore. Please, please, please."

John laughs as he stands up, "Miss Y/n is a beggar? I never knew that. Miss grumpy little bookstore boss is begging to get slammed. Looks like you're gonna cry if I don't."

You sit up and tug at his pants, "And I will so stop fucking around and gimme it," You demand and he laughs before nudging your head which sends you falling back against the mattress. You both laugh and you reach up for him, "C'mon, please? I really will cry," You say in a small voice.

John takes down his pants and his boxers and you stare at his throbbing dick. "Oh shit," You gasp.

John smiles as he pulls you up by your hand, "Come on, beautiful. It's not so scary, right?" he says gently.

You scoff, "Yes it fucking is. Holy shit, John," You say. John laughs again, "Take your time with it. Come on. Open your mouth."

You can't deny that just the sight of him is making your mouth water despite the sheer anxiety. You try not to wonder if he'll even fit inside you but it tugs at the back of your mind.

You open your mouth and he slowly guides himself inside. He holds your head steady and slowly rolls his hips, "Such a good girl. See? You're doing great," he moans. You wrap a hand around the base of his cock and bob your head around him slowly; savoring the feel of him against your tongue and the back of your throat.

"You're so fucking pretty. God, you look so hot like this... Such a beautiful girl. Come here. I'm dying to get inside you," John says as he pulls back and pulls you up to press a hot, wet kiss to your lips before kicking his pants and boxers off.

He climbs into the bed and pulls you on top of him. He teases your clit with the swollen tip of his cock and for a moment, you want to stop and use a condom but you look each other in the eyes and silently agree that neither of you can be bothered.

He lines himself up at your entrance and you hold your breath in anticipation.

"Hey, hey... you gotta relax, sweetheart, okay?" he says as he gently strokes his thumbs against your hips.

"O-okay. Just... please be gentle," You whisper. "Of course. I promised you I would. Just keep breathing for me and don't tense up, okay? Just relax," he says warmly.

You inhale deeply and hold it for a second before exhaling and holding onto John's broad shoulders. "That's my girl," he moans as he slides into you and completely bottoms out. He stretches you beautifully as he waits for you to decide that you're ready.

You clench around him and he presses a searing kiss to your lips, "Take all the time you need," he whispers.

You can see the need in his eyes but he's patient with you just like he's always been. He kisses you again then drags his mouth over the skin of your jaw then down to the pulse at the base of your throat.

As you begin riding him, he holds you steady and sucks marks into your neck and chest, "Look at you fucking yourself on my dick. God, baby... you like that, huh?" he groans huskily.

"Yeah... I- oh fuck! I love it, baby." You pant. "Aw, you love me?" John chuckles playfully.

"Uh-huh... I do... so much." You whimper as your voice breaks.

John smiles, "I love you too, baby," he says as he grips your hips and thrusts himself into you. You cry out and wrap your arms around his neck, "Feels so good... yes, John. Yes, yes, yes- God! Please don't stop... please."

John flips the both of you over and looks down at you, "So wet baby,' he sighs as he traps your arms above your head, "You're taking me so well... like we were made for each other."

You clench around him, "I was made for this... for you to fuck me... made for you," You whimper and wrap your legs around his waist. John reaches for a pillow and positions it under your hips, "You wanna see God tonight?"

You stare at him eagerly, "I already am," You whisper and John fucks into you like his life is depending on it.

You take it and you feel him slam so deep into you that you spread your legs even wider because he just invokes something so lewd and desperate in you and he is God tonight. You worship him with each stroke and his name is a prayer on your tongue and down your throat. His eyes are your pearly gates and his hips are your hellfire.

He presses a hand down against your abdomen. He knows he's got you wrapped around his fingers and he laughs a breathless laugh, "I'm just a guy... flawed and human like anyone else. Why would you worship me?" he heaves as he gives you back your own words. "John," You squeak, "Please."

The way he pins you down drives you mad and you just want him to wrap his hand around your neck. You reach up for his hand and he gives it to you. You bring it down your lips and kiss his knuckles then bring it down to your neck, "Please?" You ask softly and John circles his hand around your throat just right.

"God, you're such a dirty girl. Let's try something else. I think you'll like it," he says as he pulls out of you. You whimper at the absence of him inside you as you let him reposition you on your hands and knees closer to the foot of the bed.

"See that mirror?" John asks as he points to his full mirror across the room. You nod. "Watch us," he says as he slides back into you.

John pulls you up and presses you back against him. One hand travels up to your neck and the other travels down to tease circles into your clit. "John!" You cry.

"Cum for me, baby. That's my good girl," he croons softly against your ear. His fingers speed up and you cum undone but he doesn't stop, "Let me know if this is too much," he moans. Your body lurches and twitches but you don't stop him. You're greedy for him and he knows it. You mew and whimper but you let him keep going.

"Is this my pussy now, baby?" he asks. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes... fuck!" You whine and roll your head back against the firmness of his shoulder.

“Gonna cum, baby... oh, baby, yes, yes... baby," he moans and his hips stutter as he fills you. “John," You choke out and he doesn’t stop.

He pulls out and turns you onto your back before easing back inside. He lays on top of you while using one arm to support his weight and you cling to each other as he milks himself into you. “God, I never wanna fuckin’ stop," he groans.

“Then don’t stop... I don't want you to stop... please,” You beg as his hips sloppily collide with yours. He dips down to kiss you

He strokes into you a few more times before you both fall limp. As you both become more grounded, John sighs, “Ah shit.”

“What, baby? What’s wrong?” You ask him softly. “I fucked my boss. That is so unprofessional” He says and smirks. “What kinda boss fucks a subordinate? That’s so slutty.” You chuckle.

“Nah, she’s not so bad. Only slutty when she’s naked. Gotta look out for those quiet ones, y’know," he shoots back.

You both laugh. John kisses your forehead, “I love you," he says gently “I love you too.” You reply.

It takes a bit of effort but you both get up, shower, and then change his bedsheets. John gets you cozy in bed and presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth, “I’m gonna go get a morning after pill. Wait for me?” he says, mouth lingering for a moment. You nod and snuggle up beneath his comforter.

“We can eat some ice cream when I get back,” he kisses you and heads out. You lay in the silence of his room and replay the events from earlier. You blush as you remember the feel of his mouth on you and the way he moaned your name.

You roll over and eye his copy of Date and Time before sitting up to grab it. You flip the through the lightly worn pages before falling onto the poem that drew you both closer. A loose scrap of paper marks the page and you pluck it up to read it:

I told her I think she's beautiful. She said every guy who's ever fucked her over thought the same thing. Maybe she's not mean at all. Maybe she's just tired. Maybe repetition has made her tired?

He's not wrong. You slip the paper back into its place before closing the book and holding it close to your heart for a moment. Finally, you close the book and place it back on the nightstand. He really analyzed you and came to a conclusion in the very book you sold him. You feel yourself fall deeper.

It doesn’t take him long to come back. He brings you the pill with a glass of water and you take it. You laugh as the box of condoms sit atop his dresser still sealed up. “It’s funny how we grabbed those for ‘just in case’ like we didn’t already know what was gonna go down but it’s hilarious that instead of actually using one, you ended up getting stuffed and creamed like a cannoli," he chortles.

You blush, “I foresee an IUD in my future." John smirks, "More stuffin' and creamin'? Hell yeah.," he says with a fist pump. "Really, John?" You laugh. "Really, baby," he retorts.

The heat from outside billows into the store as John comes in. He ran to get lunch as you watched the store. “It’s swamp ass out there," he sighs as he wipes his brow, “But... daddy got those fuckin’ burritos, baby.”

You roll your eyes and smile, “You’re a mess,” You laugh. He brings the food and drinks behind the counter then looks you up and down, “I really love how that dress looks on you," he says as slides his hand up the back of your sundress to grip your ass.

“Stop it, John!” You hiss reluctantly.

“Shhhh, sweetheart. Nobody’s gonna know if you hush your pretty little mouth," he whispers and brings his hand around to slip down the front of your panties.

“John,” You whisper. The jazz instrumentals play over the store speakers and John pushes you against the back counter and rubs your clit slowly, “Gonna let daddy make you cum right here?” he asks into your ear.

You close your eyes and push your face into his chest, “Oh God," You whimper and he rubs you faster. “You’re so wet, baby. You should’ve told me... I would've taken care of you sooner," he purrs. You come undone and he pulls his hand from your underwear and slides them into his mouth to suck them clean, "Love the way you taste," he hums.

You laugh shakily, relived that he not only got you odd but that nobody noticed. “See? Nobody saw us and nobody heard you," he says softly.

“Confession time,” John says as you two cuddle up in the coolness of your air conditioned apartment. “Oh Lord Jesus,” You say as you sit up and straddle him.

“So uh... remember that day I came in and you hired me?” he asks. “Yeah. I do. Best day ever.” You say quietly.

He pinches your cheeks, “Well... remember how I said I didn't have a job?” he asks.

You nod, “Yeah...” You say and narrow your eyes at him suspiciously. “I didn’t lie or anything like that but I was on my way to work when I saw the sign in the window and... I went and quit then came back hoping like hell I wasn’t too late," he says.

You crack up, “You’re insane, John! What if you were too late?” You ask him.

“Then I would’ve crawled my sorry ass back to rhe coffee shop and begged for my job back.," he says with a shrug, “You were worth it.”

You smile and stroke his face, “Can I make a confession?” You ask. John nods. “I don’t recommend that book to everyone... Date and Time, I mean. It’s a really special book to me and I don’t just go telling everyone who needs a book recommendation about it,” You say.

John smirks, “I’ve been working in that store with you five days a week for almost two years now, sweet cheeks. I’ve never heard you recommend it to anyone. I already know but... why did you tell me about it?” he says and takes your hands in his.

You shrug, “Because when I looked at you, I felt like I was supposed to,”

He nods, “You liked me all along, didn’t you?” he asks smugly and you nod, “I did but that Valentine’s Day gift... that changed everything.”

John quirks up an eyebrow, “How?”

You stroke your thumb over his bottom lip, “The next morning, I woke up and I remembered why.”

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