#just for it to never be what you suspect

[wheelie-sick]

ILY people who are continually wrong about their self diagnoses

being right about self diagnosis isn't what makes self diagnosis okay. it's a process, and you're learning. it takes time to find answers and just like doctors can be wrong in their suspicions so can you.

figuring out what condition you have is hard and I'm proud of you for taking steps towards finding the right answers. being wrong is okay and is even a valuable part of the process of ruling things out. sometimes it's not a horse, sometimes you're just a zebra, and you can't know you're a zebra without making sure you're not a horse first.

#this is about the diagnosis process for rare diseases but idc if other people relate to it #it's just a very frustrating process to suspect something so badly to the point your doctors agree #just for it to never be what you suspect #chronic illness #chronically ill #cripple punk #physical disability #physically disabled #cripplepunk

[fallenstarzz]

Thinking many many thoughts about how Jean was Riko's partner for a YEAR and was still rooming with Goon #3. Because that was how unwilling Riko was to let go of Kevin. And how that implies that Jean was placed as his partner both because of the practicality of Kevin being gone AND as a punishment for letting him go in the first place. Being partners with Jean could actually slow Riko down depending on how often he's hurt (because I don't think Riko was all that exempt from the rules to the point where his partner's performance would completely not matter) and he was still placed there. Riko was just THAT angry at him over Kevin's escape. And all the while he was keeping Kevin's side of room like an altar, even back when he didn't even think Kevin could PLAY, because of an injury he caused.

#'average aftg fan thinks about Kevins side of the room once a day.' factoid. headboard georg (me) is thinking on it at all times #everything about the perfect court makes me so absolutely insane i am chewing on glass #do you guys think that Jean would still have distracted Riko if he knew Kevin was going to leave? #moreover. do you guys REALLY think Jean didn't at least suspect he was leaving #because tsc is probably going to prove me wrong but I think he would and he knew #anyway. i said it before and i will say it again #the kevriko toxic teen girl homoerotic friendship rizz is unparalleled #riko moriyama the man that you are. they could never make me think you're uninteresting I want to use your brain as a saltshaker #I don't think Riko (or Tetsuji for that matter since he prompted it) ever actually realised what Kevin's injury MEANT. like for real #it wasn't putting him in his place it was destroying the very idea of the perfect court. it was DONE #if Kevin hadn't recovered. if the plot of AFTG hadn't happened. how long would it have taken for Riko to realize #that HE killed the very thing he built his life around and was just dragging it behind him like a corpse (Jean) #kevin day #riko moriyama #jean moreau #the sunshine court #all for the game #the perfect court

[shopwitchvamp]

me the absolute first split second people are acting up in the shop

#yes unfortunately we have to have a blacklist at this point of people not allowed to order anymore #this was actually *more* of an issue back in the day when i was selling handmade crocheted plushies lol #but like explain to me why this has happened with more than one person at this point: #they buy something #then a week or two later they email us/post/leave a review saying how much they hate it and we suck and that they want to return it #then they never send the thing back #continue to go on about how mad they are about it #still never send it back #then they TRY TO BUY ANOTHER THING???? #what is that about #was it just wanting the first thing for free? like trying to bully us into letting you keep it for free??? i don't get it #if you hate it so much why would you order again ???????? #anyway #do this and your order will 100% be canceled #pls never return #thankfully this only applies to like 3 people currently haha #vs the dozen person long etsy blacklist i had for plushies #lots of people wanted them for free or at least i suspect that was what was going on.... it was the wild west out there #exhausting

[thosewildcharms]

We talk a lot about Rick saying he knew he was in love with his son's best friend, but we need to discuss Michonne's love for, and loyalty to this man since they met. He's always been the one for her.

oh for sure, she chose him from the beginning even if she wasn't fully aware of doing so. btw, if you haven't seen it already, i would recommend this post by @glamaphonic (which is basically required reading in my opinion) for the full trajectory of michonne's feelings for rick.

while I don't necessarily think she was in love with him since day one, you're absolutely right in that it was building from the moment they met. these are the things that stick out to me but let's be real it's not a comprehensive list because she loves him so much. she loves him so so much!

the way she pretty much instantly decided the prison was safe and that she wanted to stay there because of rick. not just by understanding why he was mistrustful of her, but by seeing how he had built a legitimate family from the way he reunited with carol and thanked daryl for taking care of judith. it took her five minutes to clock him as a legitimate leader and has supported him ever since. so much so that in 7x12 she tells him, completely honestly, that he should lead all of the communities. she genuinely admires him, and thinks there is no one better or more capable than him (of course, that's not true: she is lol i'm always so ticked by how surprised she is when he asks her to lead with him in 7x12).

when she sees rick having hallucinations, instead of treating him like a wild animal that you should only approach slowly and carefully (like everyone else did) she sees herself in him and goes out of her way to make him feel better. if anything it actually makes her trust and understand him more. and she gets him to crack a joke and smile!

the fact that not only was she not angry, but told him she completely understood that he had to consider giving her up to the governor, who she *knows* is a psychopath. that SHE of all people was the one to empathize with him for having to make that choice? that is truly bonkers when you think about it. a level of loyalty and understanding and care that makes very little sense considering how they still barely knew each other then. but it ~*~must have been something else then~*~

the way she bursts into tears of joy and looks to the sky in thanks after finding carl and rick after the prison. you know she would have been glad to find anyone when she started following that trail but you could tell that those two are who she wanted to find more than anyone else. and the fact that doing so seemed to restore her faith? shut up???

after she finds rick and carl she asks him "is this home? or just a stop along the way?" she was willing to stay put and build a home with just him and carl without bothering to look for anyone else. as @glamaphonic said, she claims them right then and there. (btw i noticed that a similar conversation happened with carol and tyresse in The Grove, and also with sasha and abraham in...some later episode idk which one, but they're in an office building. i just thought it was interesting! i wonder if the carol/tyreese instance was a nod to the comics?)

rick thinks that killing a man with his throat is the worst thing he's ever done. certainly carl saw it as monstrous (as it made him think he was a monster too, for being too similar to rick) even daryl backed away from it. only michonne saw it for the heroic act it was and it made her fall in love with him. and she made him feel better too. again, she sees a kindred spirit in him as someone willing to do anything, including things most people would not do, to protect his child.

she is always ready to back him up and fight with him, as well as for him. the only time she disagrees with him is when she knows there is a better option for them, and even then she's gentle and supportive while she convinces him there's a better way (directing the group to alexandria, "i'm still with you", the fight against n*gan, the end of towl 1x04, probably more that i'm forgetting). she considers him her equal in every way, and considering how self-reliant michonne is, that says everything.

okay but seriously the EASIEST way to piss michonne off is to talk shit about rick, talk shit to rick, put your hands on rick, or even just look at rick in a way she doesn't like. she just starts yelling and/ swinging, which is hilarious because she's normally so collected.

on the other hand the only thing that makes michonne lose her shit completely and genuinely panic is if rick is legitimately in danger (the end of 6x09, the bridge)

if she thinks he's dead, she straight up just. stops. mid battle. just drops her weapon and stops. i'm almost glad we never got flashbacks to the time immediately after the bridge because it might have been too devastating to watch.

she never rejects him. even when they're at odds, she's still goes out of her way to show him she still supports him (5x16, their kiss in 7x08).

rick straight up would not have survived losing carl if he hadn't had michonne. she is so loving and patient and gentle with him even through her own grief it's incredible. she loves him SO much (and i have to point out, rick is the same for her. as devastating as carl's death is, watching them work through it together was beautiful).

she is always trying to ease his burden and be a legitimate partner to him. there are countless examples of this but the big one for me is how she considers n*gan her responsibility after season 8. rick made the call but she backed him and kept backing him even though everyone was against them, even when they both had doubts. she completely meant it when she said she wanted for them to make all of their decisions together and for once he's not completely alone as a leader.

speaking of the n*gan thing. michonne stands in maggie's way until maggie asks her what she would have done if it had been rick who had been butchered in front of her, if she could have just let that go. definitely, the answer was no. just like rick couldn't have if it had been michonne.

(because she can't live without him anymore than he can live without her).

she was flipping over dead walkers for months after the bridge and did not move on for over 6 years because she could *feel* he was still alive despite all evidence to the contrary and also simply because there was no one else she wanted. it's him or no one. just as it's her or no one for him. you can actually see her flinch a little toward the end of her kiss with ezekiel.

wearing his clothes and wrapping them around herself like a hug when she really really missed him

talking to him long after he was gone

setting off to find him on foot over nothing more than a hint that he was alive

all of the ones who live. like, that would honestly need its own post but do we even need it? that show dialed this love story up to like a twenty. she spent an entire episode saving him from himself. almost died trying to find him in the first place. jumped his ass out of a helicopter. her faith in him and them saves the entire world.

truly, her response to his proposal/vows is spot on: "it could only ever have been you." it was always him, it was only ever going to be him. it's him, or it's no one.

#richonne #for as long as this is idek if i really answered your question or if this is what you wanted anon i'm sorry lol #btw honorable mention: holding those nasty old boots to her face when she found them like my god woman that's real love i could never #oh also i suspect she just wasn't the marrying type before rick #i get the feeling mike asked and she said no fjdslafdl just a hunch/headcanon though!

[greenerteacups]

Hey GTC, I have always been such a fan of your Tumblr and your engagement with the fandom. However I must say that as of late, the questions you’re being asked most often are essentially variants of “Will X happen?” or “Will Y character do Z like in the book?” or even, “I’m noticing Theme A, will it continue in future chapters?”

A significant element of the fun that you’ve created for Lionheart readers is that we don’t know which elements and events of the JKR texts you’ll preserve untouched and which you’ll turn into the sixth and seventh year Lionheart storylines. I adore making my guesses to which parts of canon you’ll play with and which parts you’ll completely and utterly upend. Unfortunately, questions that ask about canon events in books 5-7 ruin so much of the fun.

Historically, you’ve used the Ask box to provide us with analyses of your own work and characterizations, but I feel as if recently you are often indulging questions about books 5, 6, and 7. I hate to say it, but I even feel that your answers veer into spoiler territory. I used to lurk your Tumblr incessantly, but since I’ve started to see this influx in predictive questions these past couple weeks, I’ve been avoiding the app.

It’s such a gift that we get to engage with your work on such a vibrant epistolary and interactive space as your Tumblr. I know that you can’t control what fans ask, but I humbly request that you please consider refusing to answer questions that ask you to ponder future events. Thank you for your tender care to everyone in the fandom. ❤️‍🔥🦁🧡

Hey, what's up, dude. I hear you. Sorry about that.

The problem is that the line between spoilers and not spoilers is totally subjective, and the line between "spoilers that are fine" and "spoilers that bother me" is also totally subjective. I don't know where you are on it, but we probably don't line up, and that's okay. I just don't know how I'd begin to sort out questions that one person considers "too much" from what someone else just thinks is fun analysis. My hard rules are as follows: I don't answer any questions about future ships, events, or arcs (and I get a lot). I haven't revealed anything that I would be unhappy to discover in a Tumblr askbox instead of a fic itself. True, I've dropped teaser/trailer stuff for 6 and 7, but to be honest, even looking over the stuff I've posted recently — I hate to say it, but I disagree with you. It isn't spoilers. Not to me, anyway.

But that's just me! There's no right or wrong answer here, it's just a coordination problem of how we can both cultivate social media experiences that make us happy. For instance: I like answering questions about my fic. It makes me happy to talk to people who want to know what happens. It encourages me and gets me excited to write about it, and I don't believe that any of the content on my Tumblr spoils what's going to happen. I don't really want to stop doing that, so I'm not going to. If that means you and other readers whose spoiler thresholds are below mine can't engage with my Tumblr, that's a natural consequence of us having different attitudes about media, and it was bound to happen. I'm sorry that that's the case, but it would bring me much more grief for you to injure your reading experience than it would for you to avoid my (largely irrelevant) e-journal full of random metatext. I love my fic, and I love my readers, you most certainly included; I do not, candidly speaking, love my Tumblr account. And for what it's worth, I absolutely do not think anything I've written on here is worth diminishing your experience of a story you enjoy. It wouldn't jive with my philosophy of literature and art.

So here's what I got: I'll continue tagging spoilers about past and current events as [#lionheart spoilers], and if a question makes reference to events not published, I'll use the tag [#prognosticating]. That way you can block the tag, and other readers can enjoy content that fits under their threshold of non-spoilerism. If our thresholds still don't line up, then I think the only solution may really be to block the [#lionheart spoilers] tag altogether. That's probably not the answer you're looking for, but it's the best I can do.

#greenteacup asks #I am doing the best I can #it's hard to get questions about what's going to happen because I do try to give tidbits if i can't answer the main point #just so people will have something? but it's rough to know I'm disappointing people on both sides #as is inevitable really. those who want to know more and want to know less. you will never make everyone happy #but also— if a creator isn't writing stuff you want to read #I suspect you already know at some level the answer just has to be that you stop reading #I sometimes debate if having a Tumblr is worth the stress of trying to manage an internet presence #I generally think it is

[fluentisonus]

this is mean but when people try to do the 'period piece but with homophobia surgically removed from society & nothing else changed' it's like. where is the period part of this period piece. how did we get here. why not make it fantasy or something

#tbc I'm all for happy stories & ones without gratuitous violence or whatever. but when you pretend it never existed or smth. what #I could write so much abt why it's deeply unsatisfying wrt denying characters a concept of their own queerness shaped by their environment #and also how homophobia is inextricable from misogyny & gender roles that shape the look of the period. #but I suspect none of this is intended for me as a reader anyways so I'll just be mean in a short tumblr post instead of a long one #afdksjhaslkfjakjdf #thoughts

[schmweed]

#David Tennant #Alec Hardy #Ellie Miller #Broadchurch #my gifs #Ellie just keeps sparing him any direct eye contact outside of serious work-related situations #And he only looks at her when she's looking away #The way Ellie lights up when she realizes what he's saying. #That 'mostly' from him is the kindest most genuine and delightfully playful way of expressing how much she means to him #Love how she lets him know she doesn't believe he lost his phone and therefore her number and yet doesn't give him a hard time abt it #he's too brilliant a detective not to have memorized her number or found a way to say hi #It's just that she probably thinks he didn't care enough #I think Tess gave him an ultimatum -- stop contacting his outstanding Miller if they're going to make this work or Tess won't try #How many times do you think he looked at Ellie's number when he was alone and ached to contact her in any way #Especially given how concerned he was abt her at the end of S2 #But trying to fix the family came first and honestly he's a wonderful human to do that for his daughter's sake #I think he's relieved Ellie would never in her wildest dreams suspect that's why -- but he still wishes he could tell her. #Complicated doesn't begin to cover it. But he decides basking in her presence for their endless hours of work has to be enough. Oh Alec. #Aww. Look at Ellie's beaming face. #I love them so much! <3

[uncanny-tranny]

You know, even if somebody was "turned queer" because of trauma, that is:

1. Not your business

2. Not something you should be interrogating them about, be you queer or otherwise (see point one)

Trauma is a deeply harrowing experience, and it's oftentimes something people don't want to share if they don't feel safe or comfortable. Creating environments where queer people have to both interrogate their queerness and defend themselves is simply hostile.

If somebody seemingly became queer after a traumatic event, what you do is support them. Likely the last thing that person needs is you barging in and demanding explanations and justifications before they're allowed to be queer and/or exist around you.

#queer #lgbt #lgbtq #trauma tw #and if they later decide they aren't queer or have a different queer identity they can do that when they are ready... #...which will likely not fit into the timeframe that you might expect... #...because healing is just as messy as trauma and queerness is as messy as cisheterosexuality #because being a person is messy and complicated and it takes time to figure out #again my problem is the entitlement and possession people have over *other peoples* identities and lives #maybe my tone is harsh but i just find this hard to show compassion because it's often deliberate... #...as in a deliberate action toward the person suspected of being 'queer after trauma' #and not going to lie a big component of queerness for many is rooted in trauma #because of the violence of homophobia of transphobia of queerphobia #because we often are closeted and hide who are and we hear and witness what people think about queerness #and that's just the tip of the iceberg. queerness is beautiful. queerness can also be painful. #it isn't always happy times to be queer and our trauma is important and we deserve to heal at our pace #we deserve compassion. we deserve to exist. we don't deserve to have to justify and explain and placate #we are also entitled to our individual stories. we deserve to tell them *if* we want to and to whom we want to tell them to #there are aspects of my own story i will never tell. because i want it to be *mine* and i think i deserve that control over *my* story

[distraughtlesbian]

literally the best part of this whole stupid book iwlove weird obsessed horndogs thee villain archetype of all time. he’s so silly. “we could’ve had a life together”, he says to his lesbian ex-neighbour who he’s just shot with a crossbow bolt meanwhile her girlfriend who he’s also just shot is half dead across the room. god i love it here he said me and the bad bitch im going to fumble

#WHAT A FUCKING FREAK IJBOL!!!!!! #MORE PSYCHOSEXUALLY OBSESSED WEIRDO VILLAINS PIXELBERRY I KNOW YOU HAVE IT IN U. #their villains are usually so cringe and one note at least this one is memorable #mind you this could have used more buildup. up until like chapter 19 he still had the benefit of the doubt #his ass was NOT beating the twist villain allegations but the fucking freak allegations were a whole separate beast #and he could be presumed innocent in those. like sure i guess these are just average fanatic werewolf hunter antics. #like EYE had my suspicions. him sending that frat bro to sexually harass mc was a fucking freak move #but like in general he was coming off as someone who was just a normal amount of concerned about a friend of theirs falling in w a cult #like girl why am i following my cringe fwb into the pool house to be all ‘babe this isnt u :(’ #i dont CARE i wanna go engage with the twist antagonist who at this point my mc still thinks is kind of normal/their friend!!! #but alas that’s just pb for you. we WILL NOT stick a landing ever. they make all the new writers swear to never write a villain that makes #sense or is well foreshadowed. ONLY side characters who you would never suspect bc they have like 5 lines in the whole book. #like you’ll never be duffy veilofsecrets you’ll never recapture that magic. #anyway. markus choicesalpha the fucking weirdo cringefail stalker incel loser you could have been…kermit looking out rainy window dot png #maeve speaks #playchoices #choices #pixelberry #choices alpha #channing lowe #markus barnes #side note this whole thing probably has a Much different vibe with a male mc #but as it is it’s like ijbol. channing is cringe and emotionally unavailable but how could you POSSIBLY compare to a buff werewolf bitch #he is so completely not a contender that its comedic to me. you think WE could have had a LIFE TOGETHER? #even if my mc had never ever met channing SHE IS A LESBIAN!!!! SHES GAY DUDE STOP IT LOL #and with a female mc and male channing its like yeah whatever average incel number 10 billion. wow youre going to kill me bc some other guy #is hotter than you? eyeroll. at least channing canonically gives great head.

[margridarnauds]

[Tw: Rape, suicide]

I was browsing through Magadon's story for Raphael Reasons and...

Is it time to kill Mephistopheles? I really think it's time to kill Mephistopheles.

(Note, since Magadon mentions his mother surviving: The lore about cambions' mothers dying during birth comes from The Planescape Monstrous Compendium Appendix, which is 2e, and Expeditions to the Demonweb Pits, which is 3e [both editions are also interesting for consistently putting Cambions in with Demons]. The 5e Monster Manual seems to imply that Cambions' mothers might live: "Cambions grow into ruthless adults whose wickedness and perversion horrifies even the most devoted mortal parent. Even as a youth, a cambion identifies its rightful place as an overlord of mortals. It might orchestrate uprisings in towns and cities, gathering gangs of humanoids and lesser devils to serve it." 4e only says that cambions can be raised in one realm or the other without getting into specifics.) (All this to say that I support any means of torturing Raphael possible and highly encourage finding new and exciting ways of doing it, BUT it isn't necessarily inherently keeping with 5e that the cambion's mother HAS to die.)

#rape tw #suicide tw #raphael the cambion #raphael bg3 #bg3 raphael #honestly i just wonder what's WORSE: your mother to die or your mother to reject you entirely because you remind her of the #worst thing to happen to her #(personally i'm never a fan of having rape just to show that a character is PURE EVIL -- I always hc'd that Raphael's mother was #a human noble who made a deal with Mephistopheles out of ambition) #(but...well.) #('I suspect he has many' -- including a half brother who is at least a millennium older than Magedon) #(And...given that Lae'zel references Magedon if you turn down Raph...) #(...I don't think it's out of pocket to suspect that...the writers...knew....about...) #(also something something something Raphael's insecurities regarding his humanity are complex but also... #something something the mortal realm rejected him first something something something)

[todayisafridaynight]

personally wanna thank the sudden LAD8 news for letting me win cowboy kirby from the new gacha machine at ebisu today

#snap chats #yes i did take this while on the train back dont look at me #‘snap isnt gambling bad’ when its kirby you never lose so its ok i think #i actually wanted to play the old kirby gacha machine from last week but it was gone </3 oh well i already won somethin from it #i never got to play these machines when i was a kid so im makin up for lost time now. is my excuse 🤪 #is this just an excuse to show off my lil man Yes. Also I Got Snacks. #they changed the gacha machines what was i supposed to do… #ngl i lowkey wanted the magolor one but when i walked in and saw the new machine i immediately thought of cowboy kirby #TEECHNICALLY ITS LASSO I KNOW SHUT UP but still… #omg i should draw cowboy joon gi with lasso kirby….. maybe on saturday lol…. #anyway no one ask about the kuromi card holder kit. im gonna watch suspect x now BYYYYEEE

[stormyoceans]

losing my mind like. sorry i know i never shut up about dark pete burning the whole mafia world down to save vegas and macau but. i've seriously been losing my mind over it like

give me vegas and macau being late home after vegas went to pick macau up at school on his bike and not answering their phones and pete immediately knowing something is wrong. give me pete calling chay to ask if he saw them actually leave together and then, at chay's affirmative answer, calling arm all business-like: "i need a favor, but you can't tell anyone about it. if you won't help me just say so right away, i don't have time to waste." give me pete asking arm to hack into the security cameras on the way from macau's school to their home and watching all the footages until he spots a van cutting vegas' bike off and then taking vegas and macau away.

give me pete figuring out it's not a ransom situation but a personal vengeance. give me pete manipulating, bribing, maiming, and torturing people, promising them not to kill them if they give him the information he needs and then killing them anyway because whoever was behind this can't know pete is coming and dead men tell no tales. give me kinn and porsche eventually finding out what’s happening and asking pete why he didn’t go to them for help. give me pete answering, cold and detached, ‘frankly, i haven’t ruled out the involvement of the main family in this, yet. nor of the new minor one.’ give me porsche’s indignant ‘ai’pete!’ before trying to stop pete from leaving. give me pete pointing his gun at porsche because yes, porsche is his friend and pete loves him dearly, but that’s pete’s family they’re talking about and no one – NO ONE – is gonna tell pete how he has to go about saving it, if someone was stupid enough to think they could mess with vegas and macau now that they don’t hold the title of heirs of the minor family anymore, well then pete has to show them just how fucking wrong they are and bring them as an example for everyone else.

give me pete finally finding out who’s behind it and where they are keeping vegas and macau and getting ready to bring down an entire building full of people armed only with a gun and a knife. give me pete being smart about it, using stealth and smoke bombs to conceal his attacks, preferring the knife over a gun he would have to reload over and over again, putting into practice his experience as a boxer and all of chan’s teachings: circle around the target rather than move in a straight line; forgo the heart and target the abdominal aorta that sits unguarded at the top of the abdomen at the meeting of the ribs; if the opponent is guarding their vital targets well, strike at less vital areas to make the defender move and then go for the carotid in the neck, the brachial artery in the arm or the radial artery in the forearm, the femoral artery in the leg, the abdomen. give me pete finding macau locked alone in a room and macau not caring about the blood covering pete from head to toes and just hugging him tight because pete really came for them. give me pete handing the gun to macau because there’s no way he’s leaving macau behind and the two of them fighting their way to wherever they’re keeping vegas. give me vegas tied to a chair, half-high with whatever drug they injected in his system to keep him from fighting back, a constellation of cuts and bruises all over his body. give me vegas never seeing something so beautiful as pete, covered in blood and knife in hand, killing the dudes assigned to keep guard to vegas' room and then dropping on his knees in front of vegas to gently cup his face and put their foreheads together.

and the fucker who did this? give me pete dragging him in front of vegas and macau and not killing him right away, but slowly cutting him up and tearing him apart for every wound he can see on the two brothers: a tooth for macau’s split lip, an eye for the bruise blooming on vegas’ cheekbone, all of his fingers for vegas’ broken arm. and then, finally, give me pete bringing vegas and macau home and the three of them piling together in the same bed, holding each other all night, their little family of three that no one is allowed to touch.

#feeling some type of way tonight #who am i kidding i always feel some type of way about them #also i firmly believe pete doesn't enjoy torturing people like vegas does but as soon as someone touches vegas and macau? #well that changed everything #just as 'i will always love and be loyal to the main family' means fuck all to pete as soon as he suspects them #because he will never love or be loyal to someone as much as he is to this little family he found #also when pete finds vegas they obviously kiss too and vegas (even if he's drugged and hurt) is like #'if my little brother weren't in the room with us i'd fuck you right here and now' #and pete laughs and is like 'so macau being present is the only issue you see here? not like.. your general condition? you look like shit' #vegas actually THINKS about it. 'you could ride me' #pete just shakes his head utterly amused. 'i don't think that would satisfy either of us.' #and it's TRUE because what vegas actually wants is to spread pete out on a bed and take his time to worship every inch of pete's body until #pete is a sobbing shivering mess just begging for release #anyway.. #i miss them every day #m: txt #vegaspete

[dying-suffering-french-stalkers]

god help me i'm going insane about dickson xenoblade again

#this is what i get for thinking about lord of the rings too hard this week (specifically denethor / gríma / saruman and the like) #thinking about the way anthony may delivered “when will you learn you HAVE no future?” #he thinks shulk is fully DEAD at that point. he thinks HE killed him. which he very much meant to. but now that the kid is no longer there #now that the terrible future he's been preparing for and actively working to bring about has in fact come about #i don't know that dickson really cared anymore. he played his part he did the deed expected and he did it unquestioningly. So What Now? #well. now nothing. now the world that he spent so long biding his time in; so long getting enmeshed in (even for nefarious purposes) #is about to end; is about to be gone forever. #sure zanza will probably just create another world and maybe he (dickson) will have Even More Power in the new one #(though that's not a given! he doesn't know for SURE his lord and god will keep his promise!) #but like. what the hell does he care at this point #dickson SAYS he wants power but i suspect that long long ago what the giant dickson really wanted was SURVIVAL. #we never get to know just how he became a disciple or what the giant civilization looked like in its heyday or how it ended #but in MY headcanon dickson saw that some kind of destruction coming and he wanted Out #and maybe he hated his peers and figured any power and prestige that came from this bargain was just a bonus #i think he thought of himself as a saruman type: powerful; remote; far above the petty troubles of mortals (even the long-lived high entia) #but i have always headcanoned that by his later days (i.e. when he started engaging w/colony 9; machina village; etc. in earnest) #he committed too hard to the bit and started “going native” as it were; started to give a shit in ways that he would never dare admit #maybe not as much of a shit as; you know; a regular guy would. but more than an immortal disciple and horseman of the apocalypse should. #and all the time knowing that all the world he'd seen would soon be gone #maybe everyone else can get fucked. but shulk had to die too. and that's what their god MADE them to do. #he can't allow himself to care or to hope for another option bc in his mind it's already over; decided; that's it #what else can you do in the face of ultimate power but bow to it and take whatever scraps may fall to an obedient servant? #“you have no future” nor does he except that shulk came back. except that the peoples of bionis/mechonis just wouldn't accept Fate. #and in some final rebellious corner of his mind he starts putting eggs in shulk's basket. “if they can't even defeat telethia they won't #stand a chance against me (or zanza)” so let's see if they CAN. oh they did? how about a dragon? oh fuck they defeated the dragon too? #well fuck. maybe there WAS another option all along. but will/can they stand against me; the final disciple? oh they can?? #guess i'll die then bc i'm not looking THAT in the face. i am NOT unpacking my cowardice/failure/lack of vision after all these years. #good luck with that tho <3 you're welcome for the training btw. where i'm going i don't have to see your trauma assuming you live that long. #dickson #xenoblade

[thatswhatsushesaid]

shitpost dispatches from guanyin temple & the sangyao dungeons - [10/?]

with the important caveat that no, jgy was absolutely not attempting to kill or harm nhs prior to this moment, but I would bet cash money on him exacting some pretty bloody retribution upon his beloved a-sang if he'd survived the events of guanyin temple (and also I think he would win)

#mdzs #mdzs shitposting #sangyao #not my favourite flavour of sangyao tbh #i prefer to read/write them without the revenge vision quest hovering as the dramatic irony elephant in the room #compels me tho #just to ramble abt this a bit more in my own tags #huaisang's one advantage throughout his entire revenge quest is that jin guangyao does not suspect him of anything #i have many additional thoughts here about how jgy's fatal flaw wrt nhs is overlooking and underestimating his capacity #for presenting one face to the world while keeping his real thoughts and feelings and ambitions hidden away #(and where do you think he learned that from a-yao? i'm gonna go out on a limb and say 'not er-ge or da-ge') #whereas nhs's fatal flaw (and it is not something that I perceive as fatal within the text #so much as supposition wrt his mental state post-canon) #is his inability to commit himself to any work he's not personally invested in #this is endearing and cute and a little exasperating when he's at lan summer camp #but wrt jgy it prevents him from looking past *what* jgy has done to nmj and asking himself *why* #I do think it is inevitable he will ask that question in his future just as lxc was desperately asking it at the end of the confrontation #the tragedy here is that nhs orchestrated the death of the only person who could ever give him that answer #and now he will never know #jin guangyao #nie huaisang #he did crimes??? good for him 😌 #let him have birds!! 🕊 #mdzs meta #in the tags anyway #moling queue

[grim-echoes]

what *is* cryptofash?

it's short for cryptofascist, it's a term used for someone who covertly supports fascist sentiments or ideas adjacent to them without explicitly signaling it. someone who's cryptofash might closely associate with people who are more openly alt-right, express sympathy for fascist talking points, and voice certain statements/ideas common in fascist circles that, while not always strictly fascist ideas in isolation, can imply alt-right thinking when in tandem with other common fascist sentiments. in essence it's that guy you've always been suspicious of but you can't say for certain if they're just under-educated, reactionary, or a genuine nazi until you discover screenshots of them asking the jewish question in a discord server

#speedrunning has a fuckton of these and there's two you may recognize #rwhitegoose and karl jobst #both have been outed through screenshot evidence from the same server spouting white supremacist shit #particularly about jewish and chinese people #karl jobst was just never found out until later because the shit rwg had said was so much more horrifying #several youtubers i'm extremely wary of because i suspect them #internethistorian is on the more visible end of crypto because of his associations with openly alt-right youtubers #his earlier videos being all about 4chan and its culture while using its lingo and associated memes #and his covid denialist/antivax tweets to name just a few reasons #manykudos i'm not certain on but it's more his associations and less what he thinks and says #he's dunked on people who are 'a little too into war history for it to just be a hobby' before which is like #not a group you'd typically make fun of if you were fash so it makes me think he's Aware #magicmush gives me huge cryptofash vibes because of the subject matter of his videos being all about #standard fare online punching bags including cwc #and anybody who talks about 'lolcows' is instantly shitlisted for me because it's fucking blatant what their politics are #wendigoon is also crypto for me because unfortunately if you talk about being a pro-gun christian #while also associating with other people who just exude right-leaning proclivities #i'm not gonna trust you #etc etc

[sonego]

ppl not knowing i'm trans is so weird cause today my coworker pretty much explained first day of period pain to me and i was sitting there in her car just slow blinking not knowing what the fuck to say

#i said. nothing #i think i might've mmhmmh-ed maybe. not sure #i never know what to say when cis women tell me things i'm technically not “supposed to” know #idk how much empathy they want from a “man” or if they're just telling me to vent or idk just let it out #and it's also kinda. weird? bc i know even cis women who don't know i'm trans tell me more things than they tell “other” men #ok just read this keeping in mind ppl irl think i'm a man if they don't think i'm a woman that's why i say man lmao but #this coworker in particular is nice i like her but sometimes. i feel like she treats me as her like gay bestie lmao #idek if she knows i'm gay or suspects it probably yes but sometimes she's just a little weird #the first time i wore nail polish at work she kept asking me why i did it and giggling like ??? what's so funny 😭 #she told me “did you wear it bc (italian male celeb) does it?” girl what 😭😭 #non mi metto lo smalto perché se lo mette fedez be serious #and just other times she's been kinda uh. weird. and generally treating me like i'm a man but also not a man #idk fkfkdjwxkdbm it's difficult to explain but like #i don't mind that ppl cloak i'm not cishet and (even subconsciously) treat me accordingly it's just when it feels forced? and not genuine? #that it bothers me #but anyway *** TRUST ME I KNOW ABOUT FIRST DAY OF PERIOD PAIN............... i don't miss it #nico.txt