#leah: how about fuck you christianity!! how about that!!!

[ohtobeleah]

leah lovie! for Strictly Scandalous, i was wondering if you can do jake w bondage and overstimulation 🥵 i cannot stop thinking how smug he will get to see you tied up and being worked up

EEEEEPP. I literally malfunctioned thinking about this. Brain go Brrrrrr—

Warnings: This is Strictly Scandalous. Smut ahead.

“Hey Hangman?” Bradley is still drying his hair when his feet hit the wood flooring at yours and Jake's new home. The one you'd been building together for the better half of a year. The one Bradley Bradshaw is staying at for the weekend. “Showers great, honest–” Roosters mumbling as he rounds the corner where you and Jake are sitting on the couch. Your legs are thrown over your husband as he draws absent minded shapes into your thigh. An episode of the new season of Outer Range playing on the TV. “But what's with the hook?” 

“Hmm?” You weren’t really listening until Jake was pausing the episode for you. “Sorry, Roo honey–what did you say?” 

“What's with the giant ass hook sticking out of the walk in the shower for?” Fuck. You're sucking in a nervous breath just as you feel Jake shift under your legs. He’s looking at you, wondering what you're gonna say to cover up the fact the hook is truly there for one reason and one reason only.

To hang you from. 

(Last Night) 

The warmth of the water that cascaded down your naked body brought you back to reality as your high sent you into the stratosphere. Your muscles relaxed under the warmth that radiated from the water, Jake still down on his knees as your head hung low in exhaustion. 

“I'm not done with you pretty girl.” Jake cooed, he loved how you babbled incoherently at his words, damn near drooling as your toes barely touched the tiles of the shower floor. Arms up above your head as the cuffs that linked your wrist together worked to hold you up on the reinforced hook. Purely there for Jake's own entertainment. Your very own Christian Grey if you will. “What's your colour sweetheart.” 

“Green–” You sighed as you caught your breath. “But Jake, please, I need a minute, I–” There was no reasoning with Jake when he was like this. Down on his knees in front of you looking at you like he could just devour you over and over again. His favourite meal, breakfast, lunch and dinner. 

“No time baby, I'm ready for thirds.” Jake smirked as his hands gripped at your hips, holding you still against the cool of the shower wall, licking a stripe up your soaking cunt as the tip of his nose pressed every so gently against your sensitive bundle of nerves. 

“Ahhh! Baby–Baby, fuugghh—Jake!!” You gritted your teeth to cry and hold the whimpers in. fighting to climb up and away from the power his tongue held. Pulling on the handcuffs as your back arched. 

“Stay the fuck still sweetheart, I dont wanna have to punish you for being disobedient.” Jake hissed as he slipped two digits in between your folds, pushing into you as you moaned his name blissfully.” 

“Jake–” 

“Such a pretty pussy.” Jakes fingers as curling against your velvet walls, pumping his fingers in and out as he sets a ridiculously agonising speed that drives your already overstimulated cunt into a frenzy, sending shock waves of pleasure and pain throughout your entire body until your toes are curling and your muscles are tensing to a point beyond your control. “Come on baby, I know you can come again for me.” 

You simply hum in response shaking your head no because you truly don't think the coil could be wound up again, but Jake just knows your body like the back of his hands. He knows what to say, what to do to get you going. “Come on pretty girl, just one more for me yeah? Ill fuck you dumb after that.” Jakes smirking against your clit as his fingers pump in and out, in and out. “You want me to fuck you dumb dont you?” He truly is a sight, down on his knees in the shower, hair sopping wet, muscles tight and shiny.

God you wanted him to ravish you. Fuck you into the next century, but you couldn’t speak, couldn’t do anything but clench and wither and moan out as you felt the coil being wound up. Threatening to snap back at any second, at any moment, and any sudden movement. 

“Fuck, I can feel you clenching around my fingers baby, know your close, fucking cum for me.” It’s Jake's saltuary words that have you coming undone at the seams. 

“Ahhhhh fuck! Jake, ohhhh fuuughh—Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake!” He doesn’t stop, if anything Jake keeps the steady pace he’s set going all throughout your third high, knowing that working you through it would only have you babbling incoherently at the slightest touch later. 

“Yes baby, look at you, so pretty for me huh? Tastes so sweet.” Jake could do this all day—he would if he could. “Can’t wait to fuck you dumb, give you a forth and a fifth orgasm—“ 

“Please—“ You beg, coming down from the highest mountain Jake could have taken you to. “No more, can’t—“ 

“Oh but you can darlin, I know you can.” 

(Now) 

“Uh—“ Jake stuttered. “It came with the house.”

“Hangman—you two built this house……”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Strictly Scandalous Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin

#ohtobeleah 3k celebration #strictly scandalous jake ‘hangman’ seresin #jake seresin x y/n #jake hangman x y/n #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin x you #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin fanfiction

[xluciferseyeshadowx]

OMG TUMBLR

y’all, istg I was just eating Honey Nut Cheerios when an idea for a book slapped me in the face holy shit-

So first, I remember a twitter quote. The quote was something about how life sucks now because eve ate that GODAMN apple in the garden of Eden and humans were meant to chill and eat fruit all day with our tits out and stuff. AND THEN I THOUGHT-HOLY SHIT. WHAT IF I WROTE A BOOK WHERE EVE NEVER ATE THE APPLE AND HUMANS STILL LIVED IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN- NAKED, EATING FRUIT, WITH NO TECHNOLOGY? AND WHAT IF IT WAS ACTUALLY CORRUPT? As somebody who has been going to church for years, I can say with confidence that the Bible is fucked. Women are seen as men’s property. People who are not Christian are shunned. There is lots of religious trauma vibes. So what if the morals like that from the Bible were still accurate and in this book? So I came up with some characters. Mary- she would be one of the main characters. She listens to her parents, and genuinely wants to please them. Her life is planned out for her and shit, because she does not know that life could be any other way from outside the garden. Until- because of the sexist nature of The garden of Eden- she is assaulted and starts believing that she wants something else.

Leah- the second MC. She would be very averse to the idea of being married, and often try to disobey her parents and fuck up her appearance to avoid being found attractive. She has always disliked life in the garden, and Mary being assaulted is the final straw. Beezle: He would be my portrayal of the Devil. Or satan, or whatever you want to call the snake that was in the adam & eve story. He would live near Eden, and he would turn from a snake into a human & spend most of his time tempting people into leaving the garden- rarely succeeding. He finds Mary after her assault and is like “I can totally manipulate this”, but after befriending her and Leah, they end up trying to get out of the garden, along with some others together.

Okay, so those are the main character I came up with. Here is some world building: The garden would be basically how they wrote it in the Bible, if it progressed past eve eating the apple. However, to avoid incest, multiple different families were made by god. They did not all stem from Adam and Eve. Because the garden is how it is in the Bible, it pretty easy to get the concept- mostly vegetarian diet, no clothing, living in harmony with animals and shit. Seems perfect right? WRONG. Because of the inherent religious pushing and being forced into family, there are strict rules that make little to no sense constricting the residents of the garden, especially women. For example: There is heavy influence of the Christian religion on everything, to a pathological degree. Sexual pleasure for women is looked down upon, and will even be punished. Obeying the Ten Commandments is the only real principles, leading to many loopholes and other crimes. Adam and Eve would be the leaders of the garden, controlling most of what goes on within it. They knew Beezle, and have spun the story to say that he was trying to ruin paradise for them by offering the apple. Heaven was actually trying to break free of god’s will. The main story plot would be Mary, Leah and Beezle trying to find a way to leave Eden, but ending up with them trying to help the others out.

#holy shit #holy fucking shit #book idea #is this anything #feedback please

[troperrific]

/ ekuoto chapter 53 spoilers and mild rant/

Mild bitch and moaning under the cut. If you wanna know why I had mixed feelings about this chapter, here you go. You've been warned.

Now, it’s time to bitch and moan about my worries over how the story will go. If you don’t wanna see that, you’ve been warned.

So. First of all. No “Masses of Trash- Part 2”. Meaning it’ll be in a future arc.

It could be a good thing. I understand that letting Mr. Priest fall to his anger this soon could not be the best writing decision. Maybe we will see him snap and, as it’s been often discussed and “foreshadowed” within the story, lash out against innocent people or even people he cares about.

Or… it could be a bad thing.

Meaning, Mr. Priest will never commit any “sin” and will remain the pure shounen protagonist who doesn’t really have any flaws.

…Sorry, did that sound salty? Because I’m trying to hold back, but it is what it is.

Let me explain.

The biggest fear I have regarding this manga, is that the author will go with the safe route and never have Mr. Priest have any serious flaws or commit any “bad actions” for the sake of having a “likeable” and “relatable” protagonist in the form of a “perfect, innocent victim”, while (slightly) demonizing characters that are traumatized but comparatively flawed, like Dante or Leah or even Virgil.

(Points at Mr. Priest and Leah's narrative parallels and being slowly built as foils. Also points at Leah sitting in Judas' position at the "Last Supper" panel during the Leviathan arc. Points at Dante being lumped with Abott Nicholas and *probably* Belphegor in Mr. Priest’s “flashbacks” when Aria told him a kid shouldn’t be fighting a Demon Lord. Begs the reader to dissuade my fears.)

And that would, inadvertently, create a “Good Victim vs Bad Victim” message within the story.

In a fucking manga about Christianity.

You can understand why I don’t want that.

For example:

The difference on how Mikhail treated the Witches and on how he treated Mr. Priest.

One has his destruction likened to a child’s tantrum and a call for help. Which it is, and I’m so glad it was treated with this amount of empathy.

The others, however, were basically told “cool story, still murder” and “hmm, maybe you should try harder to be happy?? I mean, look at Mr. Priest, he suffered more than you and he’s not evil, he’s a good victim, maybe you should be more like him???”.

Yeah, yeah, I understand that the two situations are different: the witches have been killing many people and serving the Demon Lords for who knows how long, while Mr. Priest hasn’t killed anyone so far, he even held back at the end of the Asmodeus’ arc and didn’t hurt anyone innocent, a sad past doesn’t justify blah blah blah

It’s not about justifying this or that, but about the empathy the narrative gives to its characters.

It has, so far, given all the sympathy and empathy it could towards Mr. Priest. Even when he gets overly violent. Which is great!!

But sometimes it feels like it’s less so towards other characters. Mr. Priest’s violence can feel very dismissed sometimes as something that can be easily forgiven or that is very justified, while the violence of others, even more sympathetic ones like Dante or Leah or even Leviathan will be called out, even if briefly, by the narrative or another character.

Of course, maybe I’m worrying too much. Most of these examples could be (and probably are) just the opinion of other characters, like Mikhail treating the witches and Mr. Priest differently or Imuri and other characters often excusing Mr. Priest’s violence as righteous, justified and utterly forgivable.

I really do hope that’s the case, because after so much talk about systemic violences and the effects of trauma, pushing the sort of narrative where characters like Mr. Priest and Imuri will get a happy ending (possibly without acknowledging any of their flaws or where all the acknowledged morally questionable actions will be done by other characters) just because they’re “innately better” than the rest of the cast (the sinners) will really, really upset me.

This might seem a tad emotional overreaction (and to an extent, it is) but Shounen manga, especially action ones, are infamous for their mediocre writing. Hopefully that’s not the case with ekuoto.

If I had to summarize, I guess, I’d be:

Let Mr. Priest go apeshit and fuck up for real, sensei, you coward.

And then let the narrative continue to give him the empathy it’s given him so far. And let it be given to other characters as well.

Because if it’s just going to be yet another story about how only the “Sinless” get to be loved, who get to be happy…

Especially after all this talk about how we can't always make the perfect decisions in life... how no one is free from making mistakes and hurting others...

Then what was the fucking point?

#troperrific talks #ekuoto tag #this is kinda of a knee jerk reaction tbh #but even with the most thorough analyses #one can be wrong about the direction where the story might go #and this one is always making me doubt about it

[dogstarblues]

Last Song I Listened To:

"You" by Tennyson! it's a sweet little song and i use it for my qpr-in-my-series playlist. "What's the point of that? I could be pressing flowers with you. Savor all this time rather than fret all afternoon. Take me from my thoughts, now would be riper than limes in June." so soft.

Last Book I Read:

The Ballad of Black Tom by Victor LaValle is the last book i finished. phenomenal book. absolutely wonderful on a craft level. It pushes the reader to question the role of a black main character in an american horror, pushes the reader to question what constitutes horror is for black americans, and in that push answers your question for you, delicately, carefully. Deserves all the praise it got. Recontextualizes one of the most racist lovecraft stories and shows the character of Black Tom's humanity even as Black Tom tries to leave humanity behind. also. sentence level? so fucking good. down to the sentence it's so good.

I'm currently in the middle of like 15 books but off the top of my head

Witch King by Martha Wells

Dreadgod by Will Wight

To Say Nothing of the Dog by Connie Willis

On the Shoulders of Titans by Andrew Rowe

The Future Is Disabled by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha which feels more like a manifesto than anything else so im not really getting as much out of it bc disabled people on tumblr have been talking about the contents of this manifesto since 2015 or earlier

The League of Gentlewomen Witches by India Holton

The Last Sun by K.D. Edwards

Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl by Andrea Lawlor

Way of the Hunter by Samer Rabadi

Female Masculinity by Jack Halberstam

Coming up, I'm doing a buddy read soon of The Black Shoals: Offshore Formations of Black and Native Studies by Tiffany Lethabo King with @markeyverse and a buddy read of The Cooking Gene: A Journey of African American Culinary History in the Old South by Michael W. Twitty with @toopunkrockforshul and a book club read of When the Angels Left the Old Country by Sacha Lamb

Last Thing I Watched:

Star Trek: The Next Generation. I simply don't Watch things these days, unless we count youtube, in which I have watched Drawfee's "Driving from Washington to Mexico for Charity" to cope with grief bc omg you do not need your brain for that. it's comforting. and also my roommate is obsessed with Azerbaijani Village Cooking Videos and points out different foods and how like the ones he grew up with they are and how they differ from Georgian and Russian preparation and consumption and he tells me the names of the food and what they taste like. so we watch that almost every night if i dont fall asleep first.

Current Obsession:

my own work tbh. my poetry, my fiction, my paintings. trying to get better. i suppose outside of that. hm. my interest is turning toward gay nuns as of yesterday with a Realization of christian religious trauma being more real than i thought. im looking at "Immodest Acts", "Lesbian Nuns: Breaking Silence", "Scorched Grace: A Sister Holiday Mystery", and im hoping "Sisters of Sorrow" is gay bc if its not what the fuck are you doing. but i cant delve into them all yet nor buy them yet. and im trying to prioritize my TBR.

i'm also reading eco-justice poetry/nonfiction, afrofuturist, transformative justice, disabled, and solarpunk literature for my solarpunk wip

Tags 8 people:

im tagging yall. no big if you dont wanna do the meme. im gonna go lay down now. sleepy.

@filthburgur @cadencekismet @mysanaf @vorellaraek @markeyverse @pacifistrun @outside-your-window @cassandors

#dogstar speaking

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

IDK what to do with this thought but I feel like I need to poke you about it: how much chaos would "Leah shows up and is Herself" cause in the nonsense Lawyer!David AU from last night

first of all, ABSOLUTE CHAOS between Crowley “I run the Hell” and Leah “I am Princess of Hel” and tons of misunderstandings. also, ok, it’s less chaos in the lawyer part and more chaos in everything else.

Leah finds out all the shit Sam and Dean have been through with angels and demons and heaven and hell and is like “well screw that” and puts a claim on their souls. this means that however Sam and Dean die, Leah’s invoking the Sacred Rite of Dibs. She probably won’t get them in her afterlife kingdom, but it means a lot more paperwork and that Sam and Dean can’t go up, down, or in the middle without afterlife lawyers duking it out. She gave them a loophole, basically. it’s not really for sam and dean, it’s for the Spite.

#leah of hel #supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #my stuff #leah: how about fuck you christianity!! how about that!!! #phoenixyfriend

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Hi! What is your very specific Twilight AU?

okay, so. New Moon.

party disaster, dumping her and dipping, all happens normally.

but THEN. Bella finds out she’s pregnant.

(and I know you’re thinking- pre-marital sex?!?! Edward would NEVER! but listen. I am the author now. I’ve been around Christians my whole life. shut up!)

so anyway after a million pregnancy tests and a lot of googling about vampire baby legends, Bella’s like...well this is probably gonna be a situation,

Nessie doesn’t have an insane growth rate here because I hate that, so she has a normal amount of time to prepare, and she’s very...aware that the birth is gonna be Rough at best. So she goes to Jacob

who is NOT a wolf yet but Is aware of the pack and the treaty, and they are closer friends already, and she’s like ‘hey. paranormal emergency. you’re the only person in this town who enables me. help.’

 and Jacob’s like I’m Fucking Fifteen and goes and gets Leah, since she’s technically an adult and a girl

(ms. meyer How did you make one of leah’s only 3 character traits ‘upset she’s infertile’ and then not have her support bella’s choices in breaking dawn please make it make sense)

 so they start brainstorming solutions and the best they can work with is. Bella’s gotta ride out the pregnancy in hiding. they have no way of knowing whether she can survive the pregnancy and the only clue they have about whether the baby will be a monster or not is from google searches, but they also can’t exactly take her to an obgyn when her uterus feels like it’s calcified and her ribs are getting broken and she seems to be craving blood

So, Leah’s got her own little place. Bella moves in there, telling Charlie she wants to move back in with Renee (she knows her parents would never willingly call each other so as long as she keeps up communicating with both of them they should be none the wiser of her growing a little dracula in Leah Clearwater’s basement).

Leah has already defected from the wolf pack at this point (because...the Cullen’s left and she didn’t really like any of the guys anyway lmao) so they don’t run the risk of them hearing her thoughts while she’s in wolf form. She goes out and hunts animals, brings them back and her and Jake drain the blood from them so Bella can drink it. All three of them find this extremely disgusting obviously but Jake’s loyal and a little bit lovestruck, Leah’s a supportive friend and queen, and Bella’s just trying to keep her and her baby alive, and none of them feel like trying to rob a blood bank

Bella is 100% certain the baby will just be a baby who happens to like blood, like she was in bd, but the tentative plan is that if a crazy soulless monster comes out of her Leah will...handle that...

Which neither are thrilled about, so Bella’s just trying to focus on staying positive. And between that, trying to survive and stay hidden, Bella doesn’t really have time to...Check Out the way she did in new moon. Like, she’s absolutely still depressed, and she’s still getting an occasional Edward hallucination because carrying a vampire baby counts as reckless in many books, but she’s just more...resigned and pissed than anything. She’ll have days like the ‘possibilities’ scene, but more often than not she’s just telling the Edward hallucination to go fuck himself when he’s begging her to find the real him so they can have Carlisle deal with the pregnancy 

at some point, Seth gets roped into the whole mess (he’s prone to just breaking into his sister’s house) but since he’s like, 13 and The Best Baby Boy he’s immediately supportive. He didn’t even fucking know about the wolves and the vampires until he walked in on a six months pregnant Bella drinking blood while his sister and Jacob are hacking away at a dead deer, but he’s like...you know when you were 13 and sneaking around about Anything made you feel like the coolest person alive? point is he’s helpful

AND he can get away with spending a lot of time at Leah’s house without anyone finding it weird, unlike Jacob, so he starts spending most of his free time there keeping Bella company and brightening her day up

HE is the one who enables her when she comes up with the name Renesmee lmao

(just because she hates Edward doesn’t mean Esme ever did anything wrong!)

“bella I’ll throw you out of this house if you don’t come up with a real name” “leah she’s white you can’t just disrespect her culture like this omg”

anyway these four become the DORKIEST and WEIRDEST little family it’s cute

so then. labor.

it’s less...graphic than in bd because Bella hasn’t been actively dying the whole pregnancy and she doesn’t snap her spine in half, but it’s still. bad.

she essentially delivers a rock that Nessie then begins chewing her way out of. she’s actively bleeding out. Jacob’s having a panic attack. Leah made Seth watch so he would never have unprotected sex and the scare tactic is working. Leah’s covered in Bella’s blood which is not great considering she’s Holding A Rock That A Vampire Is Emerging From

Leah’s been taking classes and researching deliveries so she needs to stitch Bella up and see what else is wrong but Seth is rocking back and forth on the floor crying and Jacob’s screaming and pacing too fast to grab so she’s like. Bella babe I know you’re dying but you need to hold this thing for me ksjdfllksf

so while she’s handling That, Bella’s got this weird little rock in her arms and is watching the baby slowly fight it’s way out like this is a very fucked up egg or something and she’s just. overwhelmed. maybe it’s the blood loss but she’s looking at the messy, scrunchy little face and she’s already in love and envisioning their lives together.

and then, you know, the baby bites her,

she has just enough time to think ‘how did we not think to prepare for that’ before she can feel the venom coursing through her. it’s just as bad as she remembers from James’ bite but somehow...easier to tolerate. she blacks out pretty quickly

the other 3 notice and are like : 👁👄👁

Jacob...literally explodes into a wolf On Spot

Seth darts out the fucking door he’s seen enough for one day

Leah, sole holder of the braincell, realizes Nessie just bit and isn’t drinking from Bella, and deduces this is like...a survival instinct or something. the baby instinctively changes it’s mother first thing. weirdly...touching? 

So she gets the baby and checks that everything is physically okay with Bella (apart from you know. changing species) and is like...guess this is an issue for 3 days from now Leah

more immediate pressing issues: screaming new born baby and oh, yeah, the giant red wolf in the basement,

“Jacob I know this is disorienting but if you break anything in my house I’ll fucking kill you”

she really just leaves the poor boy to go get the baby cleaned up and warm up some of the frozen blood they’ve got in her fridge (RUINING HER TUPPERWARE, BELLA)

she’s not worried about the wolf pack mind meld yet because she knows Sam took the guys on a mission way farther up the coast for a few days and they’ll be too far away to hear Jake. hopefully, by the time they get back, Bella will be awake and they’ll have made an escape plan by then

and as she’s bottle feeding blood to the baby she’s thrilled that it seems to be like...relatively normal and not s horrific monster or anything. mission: unwillingly murder my best friend’s baby has been successfully canceled 

“Oh Goddamn it....Renesmee DOES fit you...”

Seth, from where he’s cowering behind the couch: “told you”

so, Jake eventually calms down, they spend the next few days cooing over Nessie and brainstorming how to handle Bella when she wakes up a vampire, and also nicknaming Nessie ‘Nessie’ because they know Bella will find that intolerable and they feel she deserves karmic punishment for stressing them out so much lmao

so, three days are up. Seth’s upstairs putting on a way-too-elaborate puppet show for the baby with not a care in the world. Leah and Jake are in the basement because they know Bella probably won’t want their wolf blood and their ready to phase in case she gets a little aggressive

but she just wakes up and is like. hey! how’s it going? where’s my baby?

sjdhfksdj they were expecting feral but Bella still has her super self-control. she didn’t even realize she’d changed into a vampire until they told her lmao

Bella’s a little too freaked out to try hunting yet so they give her some of the stored blood they’ve been feeding Ness and she’s like. good to go. Leah’s about to scream like have the elders been exaggerating this whole time or is Bella truly a freak??? lol

So, they spend a couple days just...relaxing, Bella and Renesmee bonding, they’re trying to come up with fun places Bella can move to with the baby so no one she knows finds out, and every now and then Leah and Jake go out and she tries to help him get the wolf thing under control

and then,,,,the pack get back from their mission early

and immediately are able to read Jacob’s mind

so they head over to Start Shit because there’s two bloodsuckers on their land but,

the pack not attacking because Jake imprinted on Renesmee? tired. the pack not attacking because Jake’s Alpha Genes have taken over and declared Nessie and Bella as part of his Pack and attacking would literally start a war? inspired

so they hash the whole thing out....ultimately Sam decides Bella is more of a victim than a threat, and since neither her or Nessie seem to be going on a bloodlust rampage any time soon...he decides to grant them immunity from the whole ‘kill the vampires’ rule. He’ll let her and her daughter stay in La Push as long as they agree to stick to animals and only hunt out of town. PLUS from what little Bella knows about the Volturi, she’s worried about them finding out about Nessie, so they’ll offer protection if that does happen, in exchange for her being able to help them with intel on any other vampire threats in the area (you know like. if a nomad is fucking stuff up in a nearby city, they’ll send her to talk to them first before deciding if they need to intervene. Sam has become acutely aware he has a lot of teens and kids in his pack, so he’s trying to keep them out of fights as much as possible)  

anyway that’s the story of Nessie gaining like 17 chaotic as hell ride or die uncles,

let’s fast forward a bit

it’s like 15 years later. Bella’s not living with Leah anymore, but she’s got a cute apartment in a nearby town, and owns and runs a bookstore on the first floor of it. she got her ged and did college online and teaches night classes at a community college. She’s still in contact with her parents, who Adore the life out of Nessie. She still helps the pack out and they’re all close. Nessie is a handful but in a fun and lovable way. They go on little weekend trips whenever they have time. Bella’s happy.

but then a. Situation. arises.

basically, the Volturi have been made aware of some unknown vampire chasing others out of the pacific northwest and conspiring with shapeshifters. and you know when Aro gets curious he tends to spin things dramatically. who’s to say this vampire isn’t conspiring against all vampires? against them? why has no one’s special talents worked on her? he simply must find out.

Bella and the Pack get word and decide their best course of action for now is to go on the run. they’re not gonna be able to take on a whole army but if they can bide some time and lay low they might be able to figure something out

except Bella is like....I have a teenage hybrid that the Volturi don’t know about yet...it would be EXTREMELY irresponsible to take her with me

but she can’t send Nessie to Charlie or Renee because they don’t know about her...dietary restrictions. She can’t stay with Billy or anyone else in La Push because the Volturi might trace the pack’s scent there and discover her. She’s panicking, they have to leave in a few days max and she can’t find a safe place for her daughter

and then she’s like.....fuck.

she had run into Jasper a couple of years ago- they have the same forgery guy and were heading to his building around the same time as a coincidence. She promised to forgive him for the party incident if he promised not to tell Edward he saw her and that she’s a vampire now. He agreed, but then told her Edward’s been living on his own for a while now and insisted on giving her his number...she never could bring herself to call it or delete it...but now...if she wants to be 100% Nessie is safe and protected...

fuck

So, the past 15 years have been fairly rough for Edward

he’s still convinced leaving in order to save Bella was the best course of action, but like...the vampires canonically mate for life. that’s his soulmate. he’s absolutely miserable without her. he’s thought about cracking and going to find her again but he always talks himself out of it, convinced she’d just tell him she hates him or something

so as stated in his patented Edward Cullen Self Loathing Guide, first thing to do is isolate yourself from all the lovebirds you usually live with. Sure, he keeps in contact, but...not well. he’s currently living alone and posing as a university student. He’s not even really sure what he’s supposed to be majoring in. He’s mostly been in a haze since he left Forks.

and one day....he gets a call from an unknown number. he ignores it, thinking it’s a spam call. but then it calls like 8 more times in a row and he figures answering might be a bit smarter than simply throwing it at the wall

And Edward...swears he came back to life and immediately had a heart attack the second he hears Bella’s voice

He feels breathless and disoriented the whole conversation, trying to figure out if his memory did her voice any justice, trying to rush out 15 years worth of apologies, trying to comprehend she’s actually speaking to him.

But Bella’s very blunt on the phone. She doesn’t want to let herself get emotional. She’s on a time limit, and she has to focus on getting her daughter to safety

And Edward swears he somehow misheard her the first ten or so times she told him. He had a daughter? that wasn’t possible

“she has the audacity to be your Evil Twin so I’m pretty sure it’s possible”

so she gives him a rundown. she needs to go into hiding, no I don’t need your help with that, gives him details about Nessie, what she’s like, what she likes to do, her diet, her favorite color, how annoyed she is by this whole situation, “Edward I know you don’t love me anymore, but I remember how protective you were, and that’s what I need Nessie to have right now. She needs you right now” and Edward wants so badly to refute Bella’s claim of lost love, to tell her he has absolutely no idea how to be a parent, but...her tone is aching so much he can barely speak. He can’t let Bella down again, and he can’t let this little girl he foolishly created and left down anymore than he already has, either.

So he agrees, she tells him to be at the airport in a few days, and hangs up. 

Edward loses about half a day staring at a wall in shock, before he jumps into preparations.

Bella told him while their daughter possessed some speed and strength, hunting was fairly dangerous for her. She was more delicate than his kind, and had a heartbeat. Reheated blood bags had been their best option, and she also needed human food as well. He also had to get a room ready for her- he wandered around stores for hours, reading young girls minds to see if there was any furniture or decorations that were universally liked- which was of course, fruitless, but he did manage to find a handful of things he was sure Bella would have liked at that age, and prayed for the best. He somehow got himself covered in purple paint that was a nightmare to get off. Bella had sent him some forged documents claiming Nessie was his younger sister he’d won custody of, and he got her enrolled in a nearby school. He lived every day leading up to her arrival staving off a panic attack.

it wasn’t until he was on the way to the airport that he realized he forgot to inform his family about this life update. they must’ve been on a hunting trip, because he got nothing but voicemails 

imagine being Carlisle and you come home to a voicemail from your son who’s banished himself from the family that’s just like ‘hi. you’re a grandfather now. I’m having a nervous breakdown and might crash my car. call me back at your earliest convenience I suppose” like what would you DO

 after he gets to the airport he starts panicking again, realizing Bella had never actually sent him a picture, worrying about how he’d find her, but then- he sees a tiny girl with untamed, dark red curls, features strikingly similar to his own that are pulled into the expression Bella always made when she was reading, absently chewing on her lip, and before she looks at him with her mother’s big brown eyes, he already knows who he’s looking at, and he’s certain if he was human his tear ducts would be having a fit right now

Renesmee, however, seems less willing to have an emotional meeting. She mumbles out a simple greeting before gathering up her bags and heading for the door, Edward rushing behind her to try and help

listen. the awkwardness of Charlie trying to connect with Bella. but 10000x worse because of Edward’s overthinking, self-deprecating ass and Nessie being like ‘ah yes the guy who broke my pregnant teenage mothers heart, fantastic’ lmao

the car ride is p a i n f u l. Edward’s trying so hard for light conversation and Nessie’s barely giving one word answers. Bella had warned her about the mind reading so she was carefully keeping her mind blocked, which Edward is trying very hard to be understanding about instead of annoyed, but By God does he want to know everything about her

when they get back to his place, she quietly thanks him for the room and then promptly locks him out of it lol. He spends the rest of the day just pacing back and forth until he realizes he should eventually feed her lmao

and that’s...kinda how the first couple weeks go. she only emerges from her room if he bribes her with food, she awkwardly tries to dodge his questions, he drives her to school and then begs her to tell him how it went when he picks her up, he spends his college classes distracted because he’s freaking out constantly about how to successfully bond with her. His favorite time of day now is night, because she can’t block her mind while she’s asleep, and even if her dreams are all nonsense they’re still...part of her that he gets to know.

His family keeps begging him to let them meet her, but he’s pushing back because if she’s this bad at adjusting to one new family member, how is she going to handle six more?

(meanwhile Alice and Rose started a group chat with her and are having a ball clowning Edward lmao)

wait ksjflksd I think this vine perfectly sums up the dynamic im envisioning  https://youtu.be/wQZIUHNORHg

anyway they....very slowly make some progress. much too slowly for Edward’s taste, but hey.

Like he finds out snacks she likes. or jewelry she likes. stuff like that and just...wordlessly leaves it around for her lmao. he thinks it’s like trying not to startle a deer, Nessie thinks it’s more like a cat trying to gift you a dead mouse, but either way it’s weirdly endearing.

He notices she always has a huffy little frown when he picks her up on Wednesdays. So instead of begging her for an ounce of information of her school life, he asks her one Wednesday morning if she’s excited for the day and she admits she has an elective class every Wednesday with a girl she doesn’t get along with.

He gets her school photos (and Weeps) and realizes apart from her room the home is fairly barren of decorations, so he buys a bunch of picture frames and hangs up the school shots, and some pictures of the Cullen’s over the years, and the few he has of Bella that he could never bear to part with. Other than catching her smiling at the prom picture of her parents, Nessie doesn’t say anything- but the next time he comes home from hunting, there’s a pile of pictures of her growing up on the table, and he starts weeping all over again as he hangs them up

(there’s one of her and Bella hugging and looking at the camera with identical grins and joy in their eyes, he can’t help but put that in his room. He hopes one day he’ll get to see a scene like that in person)

He starts trying to get her out of her room a little more- he still hasn’t managed to a get a ‘favorites’ list out of her, so he starts playing movies Bella loved, to see if any of them lure her out. some do, some don’t- he got halfway through a Lord of the Rings marathon, which was Torture in his opinion, but then Ness came out and quietly asked if he could restart it and suddenly they became his favorite movies ever.

Bella’s not able to contact her on a set schedule or anything because of her situation (and you can bet your ass Edward’s contacted every vampire he knows and ordered them to help her out if they come across her or the Volturi), and Edward realizes that’s probably taking a toll on the girl, so he starts telling her stories of her mother when he knew her in Forks. She’s particularly amused by the blood typing incident- the first time Edward hears Nessie properly laugh, he literally starts crying on the spot

could you imagine the sheer panic if she ever gets so much as a cold

And yes, she’s still pissed on Bella’s behalf, and yes, she specifically blasts 70s music because Bella told her he hates it one time, and yes, if he looks at her like he’s a kicked puppy one more time she might claw his eyes out, and yes, she refuses to introduce him to her friends from school because she Knows everyone will then start asking her about her ‘hot brother’ and she can’t live with that and also can’t live with him knowing that so she told him if he ever introduces himself to any of her friends she’ll set him on fire, and yes, she’s homesick 95% of the time but...he’s growing on her. like a mold, or something.

(okay, maybe when Seth tried to analyze why Mamma Mia is her favorite musical, he might have had a point. half a point. quarter of a point. shut up.)

And Edward’s still trying to not have a panic attack every time she’s out of his sight- he’s got Carlisle keeping tabs on the Volturi for him, and it’s not exactly hard for him to keep track of her through other people’s minds- but she’s so tiny and her heartbeat is Too Fast and what if she inherited her mother’s unlucky streak??

but they’re toeing the line of co-existing peacefully and Edward’s scared to push it past that

then he has to, because it turns out he sent her to one of Those Schools where the parents have to be involved in the school in some way or another and Nessie’s Annoyed

sdkjfsdkjf she keeps trying to get him to just sign up for like pta meetings or something and he’s like ‘I need you to understand you are the only person in this town I actually know or like I Cannot survive around fundraiser moms I can’t’ 

so she’s like ugh fine I’m in the drama club

listen.....Stage Parent Edward Cullen.......the power this holds...

that’s right this whole post was an elaborate ruse for me to make a musical theater headcanon again lmao

no okay but seriously he starts off just helping build sets and stuff like that but then midway through the year their music teacher gets fired and the schools like begging him to take over because they can’t find someone in enough time that’ll know the music for the show they’re doing and he’s like “I need you to understand Nessie will never talk to me again if I start actually working at her school” and they’re like “She also will never talk to you again if we have to cancel the big musical, though” and he’s like. fuck.

silent treatment for a week and a half

lmao so now he’s trying to juggle being an overly-enthusiastic stage parent who’s making costumes and sets and kinda crying backstage when he sees his daughter in her costume with also being the music director for the damn show and trying to teach a bunch of kids how to read sheet music 

one day he ended up in a coffee shop with the hair and makeup moms, gossiping about the cast’s love lives, and he literally doesn’t know how he got there

is it wrong to pass Nessie in class even though she’s putting all the wrong answers on the test but he Knows she knows the right answers and is only answering wrong to try and get a rise out of him

Bella sneaks into town to see the show- they thought it would push their luck if the pack came, but they sent an ungodly amount of flowers and candy. When she snuck into the house while Ness was sleeping she Was Not expecting to find Edward up to his elbows in sequins, trying to fix a bedazzler he accidentally broke in frustration, muttering under his breath about how if Nessie’s romantic opposite in the show doesn’t keep his thoughts clean he’s gonna kill him- and it just cracks her up. She WAS nervous about seeing Edward again but now she’s assured he’s still a dork lol

So Edward freaks when he sees her but they don’t wanna wake Ness up so they’re trying to be quiet but like. they’re going through it 

Like Bella Wants to be pissed at him but she can’t, she still loves him- and while she can’t just get over what he did to her, it’s also not lost on her that ‘leaving to protect someone I love’ is literally what she had to do to her daughter

And Edward....Edward, who only left to give Bella a chance at a safe, human life, seeing Bella in front of him as a vampire, knowing it’s his fault she ended up that way and she had to go through it alone, had to raise a baby herself because he’d made it so hard to find him...knowing if he’d just pulled his head out of his ass he would have been able to be there for her...would be able to form a coherent sentence around his love right now, would have long and fond memories of Nessie’s childhood, likely wouldn’t have to watch Bella hide from the Volturi...he’s back in a self-loathing spiral already

But they haven’t seen each other in so long and they just don’t want to...deal with the unpleasantness right now, so they just push it aside. Bella helps Edward with the costumes. Edward fills her in on what she’s been missing with Nessie. Bella tells him some stuff about when Ness was younger. They just spend the night talking, and it feels like no time has past between them at all- which just makes the heartaches a little stronger

When Nessie wakes up to her mother there she’s ecstatic- bubbly and loud and glued to Bella’s hip all day, giving her in depth play-by-plays of her school and rehearsals and friends she’s made, bouncing on her toes all morning, hyper, giggly, and- it kind of breaks Edward’s heart a little, even though he knows he hasn’t really...earned this side of his daughter, yet. 

(at least he got his wish of seeing their twin smiles in person)

(he wishes he could see them every second of every day)

so the girls spend the day catching up while Edward mostly feels like a thirdwheel, and then they have to get Ness over to the school so she can get ready

Bella decides to hang out around the school theater before the show actually starts- she leans against the wall next to the piano, the two talking in hushed tones while Edward runs through songs. Bella really missed watching him play- the only thing that managed to drag her away from it was when Nessie called her to the dressing room to help with a hair emergency 

she didn’t talk to him much at intermission, her attention being stolen by the rest of the Cullen family (who had been Very Loudly supporting the show so far, she knew Ness was probably dying of embarrassment backstage)

after the show, the three went back to Edward’s and just...talked. Nessie was gushing about the show and eating while her parents assured her she was the greatest actress ever born, simple stuff like that. she fell asleep sandwiched in between them on the couch 

Bella realizes she’s never going to be able to bring herself to leave again if Nessie wakes up, and tells Edward as much. He clearly doesn’t want her to go just yet either, but...she’s on the run, it’s not like she has much choice 

He has so much he wants to say to her but he just- can’t. it’s not the right time. but he’s hoping she can see that in his eyes

Bella shifts Nessie off her shoulder so Edward can hold her, and she gives him a light kiss and says ‘thank you, Edward’ before disappearing in a flash. she needed to go before she lost her nerve.

Edward can’t bring himself to let Nessie out of his arms, so instead of carrying her to bed he just stays there, holding her, trying his best not to think that that could be the last time for a long time he’d ever see his Bella again, trying not to let thoughts of a life he gave up unwittingly consume him

okay I didn’t mean for this to be So Long so I’m cutting it here uhh...let me know if anyone wants a part 2? sorry lmao

#twilight #edward cullen #bella swan #edbella #twilight saga #asks #molly mumbles #elephantlovingmouse

[thatsgay-writes]

Day 12

PREVIOUS

The days after finding water we're pretty chill, minus finding out that Jeanette's body was gone. There was still some obvious tension between you and Toni and Toni and Martha and Shelby. You hadn't really interacted with either Toni or Shelby in the past few days either, opting to hang around Fatin. You hadn't talked to Toni because you didn't know what to say after the argument the two of you had and you had revealed your feelings for her in front of everyone. Shelby on the other head, had seemed to be the one ignoring you... Well maybe not ignoring she was just very short with you which was totally against her personality. You all had also made a schedule, seeing as you were going to be here for a while. Everyone got one chore a day and every once and a while a day off. Today happened to be your day off and you were glad, your chest pains had been happening more often and that concerned you.

It also concerned you that you didn't know when you would be rescued. The hospital, who was against the retreat but couldn't exactly do anything about it, had given you medication to help with your problem. It was enough pills for three weeks, just in case, but they had been lost like the rest of your stuff. You had checked the pilot bag that held all the medical stuff you guys had but it didn't have what you were looking for either. You've managed to hide coughing up blood by coughing into the elbow of you red shirt or spitting it out while in the woods. You had also been losing your appetite, which has been harder to hide. You'd force down some food and pretend like it was a lot so the other wouldn't worry. But today, luckily, you were starving and prepared to fully eat whatever Rachel brought for food.

---

"Let's feast!" You hear a Rachel suddenly yell as she stand on top of a little hill, carrying what looks to be a big amount of food. You stood up and attached your leg before joining everyone around the fire. You watch, mouth watering, as Dot cooks all the mussels over the fire. When they're done cooking, the mussels are laid out in a big pile in the middle. Everyone stared at the pile wondering who will go first, since they all understood how little food they had been finding the past couple days. "Eat as much as you want guys, there was enough of them to fill 3 more bags. I just ran out of room." At Rachel's words you all dive in and eat the mussels, except for Shelby. "Why aren't you eating any?" Leah asks as she looks suspiciously at Shelby. Not this again. You think as you eat your tenth mussel, what could you say you were hungry.

"I'm actually allergic to shellfish. Ate one at a birthday party and my throat swelled up like a balloon." Shelby responded as she watched everyone else eat. "That's rough." You say as you grab 3 more mussels. "Damn y/n. Is it good?" Fatin asks jokingly as she grabs another mussels for herself. You roll your eyes and let out a chuckle as you flip her off before grabbing more food. "You know what this looks like..." Toni says, grabbing everyone's attention with a smirk. You mentally facepalm because you know exactly where this is going. "A pussy!" Nora yells out causing everyone to laugh, the girl had definitely come out of her shell more the past few days. Toni nods her head before licking the mussels shell provocatively. "I bet y/n knows what that feels like!" Dot yells out causing everyone to make an "ooo" sound like kids when their peer got in trouble. You and Toni's face both heated up at Dots words and you made sure to give her a hardy punch in the shoulder.

"Can you all stop!?" Shelby suddenly yells out causing everyone to freeze and look at her questioningly. "Shelby, chill out we are just having some fun." Dot says, not really understanding what all the fuss was about. "I am chill, I just don't find that very amusing." Shelby responded, her voice getting a little harsher when she says the word that. "What do you mean by that?" Toni asks as she send you a quick look and you almost immediately understood where this was going. The look was one you or Toni would give the other when known homophobes where in the area or if the two knew you were being judge for doing pda. Was this why Shelley had been short with you the past few days? You did not like where this was going and neither did Toni. "Just... pornographic gestures. I'm from a very Christian home and no one ever does things like that."

You wanted to believe Shelby, you really did, but it explained why you always felt this weird vibe from her. "Don't lie Shelby, I always knew I felt some sort of vibe from you, it's clear now what it was. Toni and I have felt that vibe enough times to know what you really mean." You say, glaring at Shelby. "What... What are you guys trying to say?" Martha asks getting worried now. She knew what you meant when you said vibe, you and Toni had both told her about it. "She's a fucking homophobe." Toni spits out glaring at Shelby. You nod you head in agreement, putting back the mussels you had picked up before all this started. Martha's eyes go wide and she sends a Shelby a pleasing look, hoping she'll deny what Toni had just said.

"Look..." Shelby says as she lets out a big sigh. "I have no hate in my heart for y'all. It was just that I was taught that that way of life is a sin." Toni immediately jumps up and point her finger angrily at Shelby, "Why you little..." Toni was too mad to even finish her sentence. Martha had dropped her head in disappointment and let Fatin wrap and arm around her in comfort. The rest of the girls were just watching as everything unfolded. "I feel sorry—" Shelby starts to say, digging her into an even deep hole. "Fuck you." Toni interrupts her before storming off, you nod your head repeatedly in agreement, not looking at anyone as you finish putting your leg on and following after Toni.

---

"Toni. Toni. Toni!" You yell as you follow the girl. "Goddamn leg... Goddamn sand..." You mumble as you follow Toni down the beach. Luckily, she does finally stop after she deemed that she was far away enough to breathe. Toni kicks the sand angrily, as she stares out into the water. "I can't fucking believe this, no I can I just hoped..." Toni trails off as she wraps her arm around herself. You walk up to her and wrap your arms around her in a comforting hug, "I know, I know..." "We just get so much shit at home..." Toni trails off as she lets herself relax into your hug. "I know." You say again because that's all you can say. You relax for a few minutes before you get hit with a sudden nausea.

"Oh fuck." You mumble out as you unwrap from around Toni and throw up near the two of you. "Y/n?" Toni reacts in shock as she watches you kneel over as you try and spit out the taste of vomit and blood. Toni ends up turning around to throw up as well. "I didn't know you were a sympathetic puker..." You try and joke as you take deep breathes and slowly lay in the sand, feelin exhausted from throwing up. Toni wiped her mouth before turning back around, "C'mon, we can't stay here the heat wont help at all." Toni says as she pulls you to your feet, trying to ignore how she slowly started feeling worse. Toni has to practically drag your body back towards camp. "Help!" She yelled out as soon as she saw people and Fatin came running over. She took your other arm and most of the weight so Toni could relax some.

Luckily, the other girls seemed to be doing better than you and Toni. Both you and Toni were splayed out on the ground with Martha sitting near by as the other girls moved around the camp doing whatever.  "Come on, lay on your side y/n." Martha mumbles worriedly as she listens to your labored breathing. Toni was at least a little more responsive and had tried to swallow water, while you didn't even react to someone moving your body. "Fuck, she's getting worse..." Dot said as she walked up to check on the three of you. "Where the hell is Leah with that medicine!?" Fatin almost yelled as she looked between you and Toni. Right as she said that, Leah broke through the tree line and ran towards Dot. "Why are they all dirty?" Dot yells out as she roots through the bag. "Only 2? I thought we had 3, I know we had 3!" Dot pulls out two tablets of halophen. "It's obvious who needs them the most." Shelby stated as she sat a little ways away from the group unfold. Dot bites her lip and looks at Martha, "Martha, you good?" "Yeah, I'll take a Pepto."

Dot nods her head and turns towards Fatin and hands her one of the tablets, "Figure out a way for her to take it." Fatin nods her head as she looks down at you. "Toni, I'm going to need you to take this." Shelby said as she took the other halophen tab from Dot. "I'm not taking shit from you." Toni says as angrily as she can. "It'll save your life Toni. Take the damn pill." "Should Shelby really be the one doing this." Rachel questions. "Am I not allowed to help her!?" Shelby says exasperatedly. She climbed on top of Toni and held her nose closed until she opened her mouth. As soon as she did, she stuff the pill in her mouth and covered it, forcing her to swallow. Shelby got off of Toni and turned her attention to you, ignoring how the other girls were looking at her.

"Have you gotten her to take it yet?" Fatin shakes her head no, "She's barely reacting to anything. I'm surprised she's still conscious." The girls sat silent for moment contemplating what to do. They start to panic when you cough up more blood. "Here, give it to me." Dot says as she snatches the tab and a nearby rock. She starts to crush the tab up as much as possible. "Just pour some in front of her nose and breath deep." The other girls don't really question Dot's idea and just follow what she says. "C'mon y/n, just one big breath and then you'll start to feel better."

---

You were leaning heavily against Toni as you and all the girls sat around the fire. You were still exhausted from today's earlier event. Luckily, they associated you coughing up blood to throwing up to much and you didn't have the heart to tell them otherwise. No one knew about what was wrong with you except for the people at the hospital and yourself. You were finally clear to sleep by Dot because she wanted to make sure the meds had actually worked and that you wouldn't fall asleep just to never wake up again. You were almost asleep when Toni suddenly stands up yelling Martha's name and running over to her. You shake yourself awake and shakily stand up to see what was happening. Your heart stopped when you noticed that Martha had fallen and made no attempts at getting back up.

"Toni you were dying!" "Who cares? I don't matter! fuck, I don't matter. I don't fucking matter."

NEXT

#the wilds x reader #x reader #female reader #shoni x reader #toni x reader #toni shalifoe x reader #shelby x reader #shelby goodkind x reader #toni x shelby #shoni #toni shalifoe x shelby goodkind

[imhereforthetvshows]

I think Toni is really good at reading people and their intentions. Probably due to her growing up in foster care and having to assess pretty fast whether she could trust someone. Which is also why she loves Martha so much bc she pretty much only ever has peaceful intentions.

So when she meets Shelby, all her spidey senses tell her that Shelby is fake. That Shelby behind all the "love thy neighbour" attitude, was hiding hate and contempt. Which is why she reacts to viscerally to her getting close to Martha - the person she is meant to protect. The person that trusts too easily, while Toni is the person who has to be suspicious for both of them ("Why do I always have to fight your battles for you?" on the plane).

What she doesn't realize is that the hate that she feels bubbling underneath Shelbys surface is directed solely against Shelby herself.

Now we could ask ourselves why Toni never softens when she sees Shelby taking care of someone (even saving Tonis own life). Aside from the reasonable assumption that Shelby only does it bc she is a good little christian, I'm guessing there have been plenty of people who disappointed Toni, even if they showed real care for her before. Maybe a tiny Toni was welcomed into a foster family and treated well until something went wrong and she got angry and didnt know how to control it and maybe hurt one of the other kids and then was shipped off immediately again, no second chances. Maybe that was even in a family similar to what she imagines Shelbys family looks like.

But we can see Toni soften as soon as she sees a moment of vulnerability and honesty in Shelby, after Leah attacks her and she is forced to show everybody her dentures. When she realizes it actually hurts Shelby that she hates her ("just another reason to hate me"). If Shelby really hated Toni back - why would she be hurt by that?

And as soon as Shelby kisses her, everything makes sense all of the sudden.

The unnerving feeling of the outside of Shelby Goodkind not matching the inside, makes all the sense in world now.

Toni hadn't realized that the "fucked up shit" (as she said on their talk on the beach) Shelby was hiding wasn't a bad secret at all. Just Shelby thought it was a bad secret.

I do wish the story would've included a little bit more of Toni second-guessing herself about her first impression of Shelby. That maybe she would've realized sometimes that Shelby was honest when caring for other people. But alas the writhers thought the surprise was better without that kind of foreshadowing. I think it leaves a bit of a plot hole at how Toni could develop feelings for Shelby THAT fast. Like between their first kiss and their second kiss some stuff happened especially with Shelby (cutting of her hair e.g.) but that wasn't really that long of a time.

Sooo, are we thinking that maybe Toni started "liking" Shelby a little earlier? Maybe after the rage-induced destruction of their fort? Maybe even out of a little bit of guilt? We see them cooperating pretty well when looking for Fatin. So maybe Toni was warming up to Shelby (Shelby maybe was also giving off less 'hate beneath the surface' vibes bc of the time away from her family?). And then the mussles incident happens and Toni is double disappointed bc she had JUST started liking Shelby (kind of, secretly) and now she feels this real, true disgust coming from her. And thats just a punch in the gut.

And well - then the dentures happen and Shelby says 'fuck it' to risk and god, maybe bc she can't take Toni thinking she really hates her just after there had been a little peace. And also Toni is so fucking brave all the time, so maybe Shelby just wants that for herself as well.

#toni shalifoe #shelby goodkind #character study #toni x shelby #shelby x toni #martha blackburn #the wilds #shony #shalikind #goodfoe

[alicenthiightower]

IM OBSESSED WITH THE WILDS YOU DONT UNDWRSTAND I HAVE REWATCHED IT LIKE 5 TIMES ALREADY could you please write like an angsty Toni and Shelby one

a reunion fic, set immediately after shelby gives leah The Note, tw for a lot of christianity...this was less angst but angst with a happy ending, hope that’s okay <3 thank you for asking me!!

READ ON AO3

i love you (ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?)

Shelby keeps her word.

She talks.

She reminisces on some of the worst days of her life for six hours; the men did not give her a window but they allow her to look at a clock with no numbers, and she does not lie. She tells the men some things, things about the island that they must already know, and plays the ditsy deluded teenage girl act for as much as its worth. She runs a hand over her bristles of hair a lot; she never realised quite how freeing it would be to cut her hair so impulsively, the weight off of her back like Christ finally dropping the cross.

Her nails are too long now; they gave her razors to shave her head but not nail clippers. She knows that she could claw their eyes out easily if she wanted. And she does want, in a greedy, all consuming way, to hurt them. Hurt them the way they hurt her, the way they will continue to hurt her. Jesus spent fourty days in the desert, but Shelby doesn’t know how long she’s been here. How long she’ll be trapped. She thinks of all the sermons her father used to give, about the Lord testing us, about original sin. Thou shalt not kill and all that. Shelby touches the space on her neck where her cross used to be — she does not know where they took it. Maybe they think she’ll strangle herself with it. Maybe they think she’ll strangle them with it. Maybe they just threw it away when they burnt the clothes she wore on the island in case of infection.

She tries to keep Toni out of the narrative as often as she can. Not that she’s ashamed; shame seems as fanciful a thing to her as safety. There are some things about the island that no one has to know, that no one deserves to know, that no one should know. The feel of Toni’s hand, the warmth of her mouth, the sounds she made beneath her. The sunlight reflecting in her eyes when Shelby kissed her; an angel in a sports jersey. The feel of the sand on her back.

Agent Young will not tell Shelby where he’s taking her to. She assumes, eyes fixed on the walls of dark wood, that it might be to another holding cell. Maybe they found out what she wrote to Leah and have decided she isn’t worth the hassle of keeping alive. Agent Young doesn’t grab her wrist roughly as the other guards do; she gently puts a hand on her back. She cannot remember her own father ever being so gentle. She almost finds herself relaxing before reminding herself that she is a prisoner here, and must always be on her guard. Her crutches squeak beneath her. If she ever gets out of here, she knows there probably won’t be anymore walking across stages in high heels at pageant shows.

“You can’t tell anyone I took you here, okay?” Agent Young mutters as he presses a series of numbers into a keypad. Shelby hears the all too familiar sound of a metal lock opening. “It was meant to be a surprise.”

“What the hell are you talking about—“

There’s no time for questions as the florescent bulbs above them flash. Let there be light.

“You cut your hair.”

Shelby would recognise Toni’s voice anywhere. She didn’t think she was capable of crying anymore. She moves closer to Toni, still unsteady on her crutches. “Yeah—I—long story, okay? Are they—what happened to you?”

“I could ask you the same question,” Toni counters. “Can I...can I hug you? I don’t want to hurt you more than they have.”

Shelby wipes her tired eyes with her shirt sleeve. She can practically feel her mother shiver somewhere. “C’mere, please.”

Toni wraps her arms around Shelby and Shelby has no note to give her, no secret to reveal, no paranoia to justify with Toni. All Shelby has is herself and her words.

“I missed you,” Toni whispers. “I didn’t...they wouldn’t say where you were. No matter how much I begged, and trust me, I don’t fucking beg. I wanted to find you, but they lock the doors when we aren’t in interview and I—”

“You don’t need to justify it. The Lord works in mysterious ways,” Shelby recites, glancing over at Agent Young as he nods coyly. “I missed you too. More than I’ve ever missed anyone.”

“Well then,” Agent Young speaks up. “You’ll both be happy to know that the higher ups have seen fit to let you room together. They think it might make you more cooperative or something. And I may or may not have put a good word in about how much you care for each other.”

Shelby looks over to the king sized bed in the middle of the room. “They won’t record us...doing stuff, will they?”

Agent Young shakes his head. “I’ve seen to that. I’m gonna be working a lot of nights at the security cameras to look after you girls.”

Toni smiles at her; she thousand whatt smile that she seems to reserve solely for the few people blessed enough to have her love. Shelby finds it impossible not to smile back.

“I’ll give you some alone time,” Agent Young says as he steps toward the door. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, okay kids?”

“Sure thing dad,” Toni replies but not with nearly as much sarcasm as the words imply. Shelby sees Agent Young grin in the reflection of the large mirror.

Toni kisses her first, this time, runs her hands over Shelby’s new hair, bites Shelby’s lip. Shelby matches her enthusiasm, runs her hands through Toni’s hair, puts her lying tongue in Toni’s mouth.

The worst has already happened, and worse may happen still, so for now Shelby allows herself to bask in the heaven that the world becomes when Toni is with her.

#shoni #shelby x toni #toni x shelby #the wilds #the wilds tv #the wilds fic #my writing #idk if this is lame or not sorry world #shelby goodkind #toni shalifoe

[hojiteaversion]

My 2021 In Books

The other Twilight of my youth, aka Twilight by Meg Cabot (reread)

Wanted to read about kisses, got rimming as a bonus, aka The Kiss by Hans-Jürgen Döpp

These cool vampire bitches GAY gay, huh?, aka Carmilla by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu

Every romance structure makes perfect sense now, aka Romancing the Beat by Gwen Hayes

...But I think this might have relied too much on romance beats?, aka Don’t Stop Believing by Gwen Hayes

The infinity prompt is exactly the kind of self-therapy that works for me, which is why I don't do it often enough lmao, aka The Power of Writing It Down by Allison Fallon

Made me realize how much my conceptions of boys and relationships came from Meg Cabot and Twilight, which is why I’m fucked in the head, aka The Boy Next Door by Meg Cabot (reread)

Thought this would be a lighthearted gay vampire romcom, was pleasantly surprised by the serious themes it tackled, aka Love Bites by Ry Herman

Great for dumbasses entering the job market, less great for someone who doesn’t live in a cold climate, aka The Capsule Wardrobe by Wendy Mak

...So this is more like it, for me, aka Nada Para Vestir by Arlindo Grund

Me liking and (mostly) understanding magical realism?? It’s more likely than you think!, aka The Carnivorous Lamb by Agustín Gómez Arcos

Came for the enemies-to-lovers, was surprised I loved all the unhealthy relationships in this, aka The Cruel Prince by Holly Black

My favorite Cabotian disaster family + really clever use of the epistolary format, aka Boy Meets Girl by Meg Cabot (reread)

Best couple out of the three so far, most unbelievable epistolary format, still so much fun, aka Every Boy’s Got One by Meg Cabot (reread)

Becky is a great adaptation of Anne Elliot, the villain is a great adaptation of that Elliot cousin, Reed sucks, aka The Boy Is Back by Meg Cabot

I wrote that it “felt like good smutty Twilight fanfiction from circa 2010” and that "in hindsight, the men look so fucking stupid", aka Corrupt by Penelope Douglas

Holy fuck. Holy fuck this book. IT’S ABOUT LEARNING TO LOVE, BITCH, aka Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? by Jeanette Winterson

The theme of classism surprised me, and the fatphobia also surprised me, but in the opposite direction, aka When Lightning Strikes by Meg Cabot

The speech on why humans shouldn’t join the Galactic Union thing is permanently etched in my brain, aka The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

The Austen protagonist that I relate the most to, aka Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen

Surprisingly touching and effective for a Christian allegory (read: made me fear for the path my soul is in, so, that’s good, I guess), aka The Magician’s Nephew by C. S. Lewis

In 20 years I will reread this book and Understand the hype and the Intertextuality or whatever of it all. For now, I just think Judy Poovey deserves comedic protagonist rights, aka The Secret History by Donna Tartt

Were the characters, like, lovable? Well, I love them + the author interview in the audiobook was excellent, aka America For Beginners by Leah Franqui

Oh the shit everyone got away with post-Twilight, aka Hush Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick (reread)

About this book, I wrote, “True love is still being devoted to someone even when they’re the dumbest, cluelessest, most stubborn and infuriating person in the universe”, aka Silence by Becca Fitzpatrick (reread)

I swallowed this in one day and immediately started the next one, aka The Wicked King by Holly Black

Do I enjoy reading political intrigue in my enemies to lovers, or do I just enjoy Captive Prince and The Folk of the Air a lot?, aka The Queen of Nothing by Holly Black

What an absolutely weird hilarious blast this was. Why did it make me lk cry?? Btw I LOVE the author’s respect for and recognition of teenagers’ issues and self-awareness and brilliance, aka The Extraordinaries by T. J. Klune

Lol I thought this was going to be a cute and lighthearted YA road trip but I cried three fucking times lmao, aka Amy & Roger’s Epic Detour by Morgan Matson

HISTORY! HUMANS! BRAIN! YUVAL’S BRAIN! Life-changing. Ate bread and chocolate milk directly after finishing this book and almost cried with the enormity of it all, aka Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari

A mindfuck of a journey as the character figures out she’s a lesbian, aka Bunny by Mona Awad

I will never look at Lisol the same way again. It’s a wonder humans are still alive!, aka A Curious History of Sex by Kate Lister

Amazingly rich book with healing and growth and discussions that were so advanced for its time. But yeah, they call dicks ‘good-sized rods’ too, so, really, has anything changed in gay porn, aka Teleny, or the Reverse of the Medal by Anonymous Author(s)

Made me worry for the future of my brain and of our democratic societies, and the irony is that I read this too fast to remember details lol, aka Reader, Come Home by Maryanne Wolf

While I think the book would have been cooler if it actually followed its synopsis, I did have a good time, aka I Am Not a Serial Killer by Dan Wells

Awesome how this book showed our struggles but also was great at letting us live our fantasies; really clever that the kids are monster-like, too, aka The House In The Cerulean Sea by T. J. Klune

Gorgeous, life-changing, inspiring, informative, universal must-read, especially before clowning on social media :’). I will read anything this woman writes, aka Twisted: The Tangled History of Black Hair Culture by Emma Dabiri

What. Aka A Hora da Estrela by Clarice Lispector

A lot I liked and a lot I didn’t like, and I’m glad I read it, aka Gods & Monsters by Shelby Mahurin

Fuck Edward Cullen, I want what Seth and Nick and also what Gibby and Jazz have, aka Flash Fire by T. J. Klune

Unfortunately didn’t rock my world as much as it did the first time, but also it was a worthwhile read, aka Serpent & Dove by Shelby Mahurin (reread)

Maybe not a good pick for a /my first Bechdel, aka Are You My Mother? By Alison Bechdel

Incredible prose and imagery; and, just like folklore, I love how much the way the stories are told, and not just their content, are a part of what makes them resonate, aka The Mermaid’s Tale by Amanda Adams

Me: I’ve connected the dots! – The end of the book: You didn’t connect shit, aka The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Brontë

Thanks for the rec Miss Mitski, aka The Complete Poems of Charles Reznikoff (v.1) by Charles Reznikoff

I am… quite surprised by the hype, aka The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V. E. Schwab

I’m always impressed by YA that portrays complicated adult problems, but also, 😬 at Nozomi, aka Love & Other Natural Disasters by Misa Sugiura

Mcquistonian dialogue and friend groups and Mitski references is really all I need in a book, I think, aka One Last Stop by Casey Mcquiston

My favorite genre is when authors are incredibly competent in their craft, aka The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy

I didn’t need to understand everything to Get it, and also, this poet too was clearly competent in her craft, aka alphabet by Inger Christensen

#readingtag

[cherryredcolas]

emotions, as experienced by toni shalifoe

episode 1

It starts with annoyance.

This cowgirl barbie going youth group on the plane and trying to get an icebreaker going. You’re unmoved by the attempts. You’ve seen people trying to gEt To KnOw YoU since you entered the system at the fresh age of 6. When your mom OD’d with you in that backseat one time too many, and the state troopers found you cold and shivering and still waiting on her to wake up and go home, because she always did, right?

Regardless, you knew these tricks. They weren’t effective on you when you got into your first foster home, or your last, but you knew it was easier to go along with the soft hands on your shoulders and they pushed you to the front next to the quiet girl with obvious alpha vibes. She wasn’t impressed with your story of targeted urine projection so you just ate your cake and tried to enjoy the way that going to Hawaii felt. You’ve never been on a vacation, ever. Martha and you getting to do this together, after the mess that was Dr. Ted and Regan and all the hurt that small town produced, it was almost a dream come true. Then the plane starts to shudder. It doesn’t stop. You’ve never been on a plane before but the short time you’ve been on this one has let you know that you shouldn’t feel like you’re going down at an angle like you are, so sharply, so aggressively. You run for Martha, grab her and hold onto her, the only family you have, the friend you’re on this dream vacation with. That is when it becomes a nightmare. 

Dread shows up next.

You woke up soaking wet on a beach. You were alone. You look for Martha, your best friend, your sister, the only person you have who hasn’t ever left you behind, and she’s gone. You puke, the cake you ate way too fast making another appearance going the opposite way, splattering a little on your shoes. You have no idea what the fuck to do. So you scream her name again and again until your voice goes hoarse. There’s nothing. Your person isn’t there. You don’t even know where the fuck you are. You don’t have eyes on anyone else for a few minutes, until you see one of the girls who was sitting in front of you. She’s with one of the Californians who looks like you feel, catatonic and petrified. But you can’t stop moving. You have to find your person. 

You see someone fighting through the waves, with what looks like another body. Your mind goes to the worst as you and the girl who was on her feet run out to meet them. It’s the other Californian, and the body isn’t Martha, and you don’t know if that’s good or bad. The girl who swam in didn’t see anyone else. Again, you don’t know if that’s good. You help them in and before you can return to panicking full tilt, you happen to glance over and see two figures, one very blonde and one very Marthaesqe. You drop the unconscious girl and sprint to them, almost knocking them over with force of the hug you wrap Marty in. She mentions cowgirl barbie (Shelby?) helped her, and all you take away from that is how fucking absurd she looks in what appears to have been a wardrobe change. 

You help Marty over to where they’re trying to revive the girl in pink and watch as they manage to get her at least mildly stable. There’s nothing you can do but sit next to her while the rest of the girls try and figure out what the hell to do next, which for some godforsaken reason Shelby has co opted and is trying to preach to the group and you can’t help but let it get to you. You’ve done the Jesus Saves thing, having heard this spiel from any number of do gooders who think the answer to having a drug addicted mom is to pray it out, like the economic realities and emotional cataclysm of being abandoned by every member of your family can be fixed with a prayer and a crucifix around your neck. You snap back, instinctively. She takes it in stride. It infuriates you. It makes it worse when she tries to get you to help her on her HydroJesus hike. Marta offering her shoes confuses you, makes you jealous. You decide without thinking to go, make sure little miss Christianity doesn’t get the only brownie points. Or something. You’re not sure why. But you go regardless. 

This is where combativeness shows up.

You can’t help but needle her. She makes it easy, fronting like she’s some kind of badass because her daddy takes her hunting. Everything about this girl screams 1%. So you push a little, taunting her for being a princess and she doubles down on the attempted badassery, and then somehow gets her hands on your shoulders again, inexplicably to get you to turn around so she can pee in private. It’s like she likes you, it’s like she’s determined to shovel through the shit you’re throwing at her and keep smiling that beauty queen smile she’s got on. It’s confusing. And then its intolerable as she starts singing a religious song and the confusion is gone replaced by a strong urge to dig your fingers into your ears and turn the fuck around already. 

You’re ok until she starts praying. You throw an insult at her and she responds with more cheerful banter. This girl is making you insane. You storm ahead and see a branch sticking out in the path, and with the soundtrack of Shelby praying behind you, the devil on your shoulder takes your wheel and smacks her in the face with it. You did expect it to shut her up. You didn’t expect it to send her down the fucking side of the hill you just trekked up. You know the feeling dripping down from your mind to the pit of your stomach, the regret after breaking something, you know it well. And you know it now, and this girl who really hadn’t been doing anything to you is now another name on a list of people you’ve done damage to. And worst of all is she won’t even let you have it in return, she plays the good Christian and you walk back alone, unable to hurt anyone at the point, except yourself. You feel regret, the look in her eyes is the one so many people have given after you careen into their life. You expect her to out your actions when she gets back to the others but doesn’t. Confused at the lack of immediate finger pointing, you let it play, hoping it won’t come back to bite you. 

Uncertainty steps up.

The debate over the phone doesn’t reach you. You don’t have anyone to call. In all honesty the person you would call is standing right there with you. Then suddenly the girl in pink runs off to the side and fucking dies. Drops dead in the sand without saying a word. The shock in Leah’s voice quiets you all and you don’t move, unable to process what the next play is. Thankfully Dot directs the next steps and you help move her body. Shelby, of fucking course, is able to add a religious element and Leah follows up with a Pink song you’re embarrassed to know. The rest of the girls do too. It doesn’t feel too cringe, so you join in the makeshift eulogy song as you help push sand over her body. You’re too shocked to do anything but stare at the fire after. It’s quiet until Shelby turns this into get-to-know-you-exercise. You’re not sure what the fuck is happening but you do know enough that you want to challenge her instinctive after school special moment. She must have a fucking direct line to your thoughts because she drops the virginity bomb and you can’t help but push her buttons more about her boyfriend fooling around on her as you and most of the other girls drink. She and Marty are the only two abstaining, a point that Shelby makes sure to bond with Martha about that makes your uncertainty about what she wants with your best friend worse. It calms down when Rachel calls you out for your little pee indiscretion and the mood lightens. The uncertainty calms. You fall asleep next to Martha. You forget for a minute that you’re fucked beyond belief and literally stranded on a desert island. But you know it’ll be back in the morning. The calm you find in sleep always has a lifespan.

note: if you made it here, thanks. if you’d shoot me a message with any feedback, i’d appreciate it, been a long time since i’ve written and would love to hear thoughts outside of my own.

#shoni #shoni fanfiction #ficlet #the wilds

[mindonmymoneyandmoneyonmymind]

it’s literally just lord of the flies with flavor

I loved it. I LOVE dystopian shit. idk if this is technically a dystopian but imma say it is. Like i said, whoever said this show was for the girls and gays was on the money.

SOO MANY QUESTIONS/Comments 

>Does this mean nora died? 

> Why tf would nora sign up to do this...especially after she saw Jeanette ACTUALLY DIE? Like i can see going along with it at first but...after someone got killed

>Do their parents KNOW they are in danger like this or do all the parents believe they are in some sort of reformatory summer camp? i imagine the parents dont know. 

>I know it would be kinda boring to see the same thing again but i kinda wanna see atleast 3 episodes with the boys please! Like i really wanna know about the boys!

> Who gave shelby shellfish? 

>Shelby and Toni 🥺🥺 are you fucking kidding me? I cried 

> How long has it been because those kids HAVE to go back to school and shit

>I feel like Ian is gonna be our shining star....hopefully he knows leah is missing and he will help but i doubt it. He probably already forgot it.

All in all i was VERY entertained by this show and i hope they get a second and 3rd season but i think that is enough i feel like too many season would ruin this show! But alot of potential like i said it reminds me of tower prep. I fell in love with each character but Fatin was my fave with Shelby and Dot as a close second. Listen, I know this part was serious but when they were eating the clams proactively and Shelby said “I am from a christian home >:(” it just made me laugh soo fuckin much a kept saying it all day. Some of the lines were a little bit cringey but nowhere near riverdale cringey lmfao. I loved it :) They felt like real people their age not someone 32 trying to be 16. I like the different body types and backgrounds. Very nice. 

#the wilds #nia binges #post binge clarity #will def be keeping up with this seires :)

[eatsleepbreathefutbol]

Hi so I’m the previous anon who asked for the one where they all turn 30 friends episode. I was wondering if you could write another friends inspired episode? Sorry, it’s one of my favorite shows! Can the imagine be inspired from when Ross and Rachel end up breaking up because of the girl from xerox place for Mason Mount please? Thank you :)

Of course I can! I was just actually watching this episode earlier today. Don’t worry anon I watch too much of it.

Mason and you were not spending as much time as you normally did, your jobs were consuming the majority of your time and training for the Champions league was taking some of Mason’s time. Mason came home every day before you did, and he got tired of always having to wait hours for you to come home. He even went once to visit you at your office, and he saw you were talking with one of your men coworkers, he got very jealous and decided to storm out of there because he thought you were cheating on him. The boys had invited him to go out with them and of course he had said yes, since he was feeling ‘lonely’. He was drinking his feelings away, because he felt like he was loosing you, since he felt like you were being very distant, not wanting to understanding that work was consuming your time. At this point he was on the borderline of tipsy and drunk, just remembering the events that have been happening recently. Tammy, Christian and Reece were trying to get him to drink water so that he wouldn’t do something he would regret later. He went out to the dance floor, and he swore had seen a girl that looked exactly like you. He even thought for a moment you had stalked his location and came to apologize for his current relationship with his cellphone since you were hardly around. He went up to the girl that looked exactly like you with confidence wanting to say how he really felt, the boys lost track of Mason. They thought he had gone to bathroom, they tried anything they could to try find him. Tammy ended up finding him snogging a random girl, who seemed to enjoy that she was making out with a famous player. Tammy was gathering all the lads so they could go home after Mason was at the point of drunk where he would commit the worst mistake of his life, cheating on Y/N. The mistake Tammy made was leaving him outside to get some air instead of leaving someone on Mason watch. The girl he snogged earlier happened to walk out while Mason was alone, the only good thing was that the paps weren’t around snapping pictures of the interaction to plaster it all over the papers. The girl, Madison, and Mason ended up leaving to go back to her place because she said she had a ‘cure’ to his problem. Mason didn’t think twice before saying yes, because he was still convinced that she was you. When they made it back to Madison’s place, he started realizing this wasn’t his apartment and that Madison was not you. But it didn’t matter to him at the moment, because at the moment this was the only action he would be getting for a while. The entire time during while were doing it, he would moan out Y/N and not Madison, of course Madison was upset that he was saying someone else’s name and not hers. ~Later that day~ Tammy was convinced that Mason had called a cab and went back to Y/N’s apartment immediately instead of his place, but then again he was questioning his thought seeing how drunk Mason was when he left him outside. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard knocking at his door, when he opens the door and sees Mason who was knocking with a face of regret noticeable to anyone even if they didn’t know who he was. Tammy knew at the moment that Mason never went home to Y/N. “Mason, mate what did you do last night? When I went back outside, you were nowhere to be found so I thought you went home, and with that face of regret you have I’m going to guess that you didn’t make it home?” Mason was scratching the back of his neck trying to gather his thoughts because he knew that Tammy would kill him for doing what he did to Y/N. “Ok, I’ll tell you the only thing I can remember but you better promise me that you won’t get mad at me nor will you tell Y/N! She has to find out through me and not from someone else. I made the worst mistake of my life that I thought I would never do, after you left Madison walked out an-“ “Mason who the hell is Madison and why the hell couldn’t you keep it in your damn pants? What the hell is Y/N going to do when you tell her?” Tammy said infuriated with what he was hearing. What both Tammy and Mason didn’t know was that Leah, Tammy’s girlfriend, was hiding behind the wall eavesdropping on the conversation since her and Y/N were best friends. “Tammy would you let me fucking talk? Madison is that girl that you saw me with earlier in the club. She told me she had a ‘cure’ to my problem and I said yes, only because I thought that she was Y/N! The entire time my mind was only on Y/N, all I could think was Y/N, and when we were doing it all I could say was Y/N never was I thinking about Madison. Hell, I was convinced she was Y/N when I first laid eyes on her, I swear I thought Y/N had came to the club to apologize for spending to much time with Mark from work.” Leah had enough of hearing the stupid excuses Mason was trying to justify his actions with, she knew that it was better if Y/N heard from Mason rather than herself but Y/N deserved to know the truth no matter what. So Leah left to their room to make an important call. Tammy was trying to think if Madison had any of her friends in common with Y/N so that they would stop chain before the news got to Y/N, but they didn’t know that he was screwed since Leah had told her best friend already. Mason feeling guilty just decided to go to Y/N’s apartment to face his consequences. When he made it home, he found Y/N sitting on the couch glaring at the front door waiting for Mason to come in. Mason knew at that moment that someone had to have told her what happened, because why else would she be upset. When Mason went up to kiss her temple, Y/N got up from the chair, he could see the stained trail of tears down her cheek making it visible that she had been crying not too long ago. Mason tried to embrace her trying to grab her chin to make her look at him, Y/N breaking at this point “Mason no, I cant even look at you!” “Y/N talk to me please, tell me what’s wrong?” “Oh come on Mason, you don’t come home and don’t freaking tell me if you are alright then you leave me worried wondering what you could be doing, then I find out that you slept with another woman! Mason you slept with another woman!” “Y/N it was a mistake, I made a mistake!” “Really Mason, a mistake? Where were you trying to put in, her purse?” “Y/N I want to talk about this, I want to talk and work this out please? Hear me out!” “Ok, how was she?” “What do you mean how is she, what kind of question is that Y/N?” Mason said with a bit of frustration that she would ask that, “Was she good? Was she better than me?” at this point Y/N’s heart was breaking into a million little pieces. “Come on Mason, you said you wanted to talk about it, well then let’s talk about! How was she?” “Y/n please I-“ Mason couldn’t think right “Mason Tony Mount, be a man for once. Grow a pair and respond to the question instead of trying to beat around the bush” Y/N becoming infuriated by the minutes, “Y/N she was….she was different” “Good? Different?” Y/N had grabbed a rolled up newspaper and proceeded to hit Mason with it, and  Mason was trying to run away from her “Y/N I’m sorry, ok I’m sorry! Nobody likes change, I swear I was only thinking of you the entire time. I swear I was convinced that she was you when I first saw her. I thought you had came to the club after work because you had stalked my location. I swear I couldn’t stop thinking of you!” “Oh Mason, that is so sweet! I think I’m falling in love with you all over again.” “Listen Y/N the important thing is that she meant nothing, she meant nothing to me!” “Oh really Mason did she? Cause last time I checked she was worth jeopardizing our relationship!” “Really Y/N a relationship? What relationship was there to jeopardize, hm my relationship with your voicemail?” “Really you think you’re going to get out of the on a smart ass comment! Mason I’m doing what I love, I get to work at my dream job if you can’t understand that my job requires a lot of time and effort just like yours then why the hell do you want to feel guilty! You’re apologizing not because you felt like it but because you were caught!” “Honestly I think this would’ve never happened if I didn’t think at the same moment you were sleeping with Mark?” “Really Mason, again with the stupid Mark thing. He is a coworker and we work in the same department” “Yes again with the Mark thing, you spend more time with him than with me recently. Even when I went to visit you at work last week, you were talking to Mark!” “Ok Mason, let’s say I had slept with Mark. Would you have forgiven me?” “Of course I would have Y/N, I wouldn’t want to lose you!” “You’d be ok if you knew that Mark had kissed me, had been naked with, and that we were a hot writhing me-“ “LALALALALA, ok I would’ve been devastated but I would still forgive you! I mean why wouldn’t I, it’s you! Y/N it has always been you!”. It had been four hours since Mason had come home and the argument had started. Y/N was an emotional mess on one of the couches while Mason was on the other couch crying with his hands on his head. Both of them had been like that for the past hour and a half, Mason had been the first to break the silence “Y/N I’m sorry ok! I’m sorry! I was out of my mind, I thought I had lost you! I didn’t know what to do, come on how crazy would I have been to cheat! Ok, I’m not Jadon! I made a terrible, stupid mistake and I wish I could take it back but I can’t and I’m sorry for putting you through this!” “Mason keep saying how sorry you are but supposedly when people are drunk their true intentions come out!” “Y/N I seriously can’t see us throwing away something that we both know is so damn beautiful! Y/N I love you so damn much!” Mason came over to her couch and sat right next to her, he took her hands in his and started to kiss from her neck until he tried to reach her lips and then Y/N escaped his grasp “No Mason, you cant kiss me and expect it to all go away. It doesn’t make things better! Ok?’ Y/N raising her voice each time she said a word. “Ok, ok” Mason said a little scared of her tone change, “Mason, I think you should go. I really think you need to go!” “Y/N there has to be a way we can work past this, ok? I can’t imagine my life without you!” Mason started crying as he grabs Y/N’s arms “I can’t imagine my life without these arms, without your face, and without your big heart. Don’t say something you might regret later babe, I can’t live without you.” Both of them break down crying, “No, Mason you’re totally a different person to me! I always saw you as someone who would never ever hurt me. Gosh and now I can’t stop picturing you with her, no matter what you say or what you do. This changed everything between us forever!” Mason kneeling on the floor with his arms wrapped around her waist “Y/N this seriously can’t be the end of us, this relationship can’t be really over!” Y/N was trying to keep her composure, because one of them had to be strong “Mason then how come it is?” At that moment, both Mason and Y/N’s hearts were torn into million pieces. Y/N ran up to her room then locked herself up there, crying her eyes out trying to remember what had gone wrong that drove Mason to sleep with another woman. In Mason’s head all he thought about was how he screwed up the best thing in his life, “I fell for temptation and didn’t know how to cope with you being at work, but I love you and will always love you, and I will always be waiting for you if you ever want to come back to this shitty ass boyfriend” he whispered on his way out particularly to no one. You were out in the hallway wanting to go downstairs and talk to him, when you heard everything he whispered, and you couldn’t help but think maybe we should work things out.

I’m sorry, this was longer than I originally expected. I was a little carried away, and also I don’t really condone cheating because I have been a victim of a partner cheating. But I liked the idea, so I wrote about it, I just wanted to put that out there. I hope you guys enjoy it :)

#mason mount #mason mount imagines #mason mount imagine #soccer imagine #soccer imagines #football imagines #football imagine #futbol imagines #futbol imagine #friends inspired #ross and rachel inspired

[galadrieljones]

There’s a TWD article out by someone who’s previewed some of 10C that says Daryl and Leah were out in the woods for five years. (So most of the timeskip after the bridge blew.)

It’s not a biblical seven years, but it’s close. Though it’s probably been seven years since they first met, what with Leah’s actress apparently back for season 11 🤔

Oh wow. What. 👀 For anyone who’s confused, this is a reference to my Daryl/Jacob Biblical symbolism post, and I have...more to say now! SHOCK.

Wait, it’s speculated that they were together for FIVE YEARS?! I’m super curious about this. See, I don’t look at Leah as a usurper, so much as just like a major symbolic opportunity. I know a lot of people are quick to dismiss everything this show does that bothers them as “bad writing,” but I find too much of that to be a cope. I can see how having to deal with seasons 7-8 over a period of years could wear a person down, but the writing for TWD is actually...often...good! It’s weird. It takes chances. Yes, it disappoints us at times, but that’s the rub. When it’s on, it’s fucking on. Seasons 7-8 were NOT on. In general, I noticed a really obvious, periodic decline in quality post-Coda and 5b tbh, and I’m not just saying that because of Beth. (Tho I am starting to believe more and more that Beth was not initially supposed to die, that her death was pressured based on some sort of perceived, utterly cracked backlash per the age difference. The writers then had to grapple for a while, and it was the beginning of the end for Gimple, who never got his shit back on track ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Anyway, I know I’m far from the first person to point out that Angela Kang wrote both “Still” and “Coda.” She wrote the first and final moments of Daryl and Beth, as we know it. Her vision for The Walking Dead also feels much more genre-forward to me, ie: post-Gimple, TWD has become much more of a genre piece, and I kind of think that’s important here when talking about Biblical allegory as a genre in and of itself. The Walking Dead begins and sustains for a long time as a sort of 00s era fabulism, a la shows like Breaking Bad and The Sopranos, which take place in a familiar world and focus on realistic relationships and situations, but the settings and scenes contain a light fabulism, or just this spare, Lynchian layer of magic, ghosts, mysticism, dream states. But in seasons 9/10, with Kang at the wheel, elements of Fantasy, Science Fiction, and even the American Western have really been ratcheted up. There are kings and queens and princes, tigers and horses and knights in shining armor and cowboys. There’s even a movie theatre. Plus the Whisperers, who are initially presented as supernatural, lead by Sycorax and Caliban creatures, and now the hard scif-fi nature of what’s going on with Jade, the helicopters, and finally the insane cliffhanger with Eugene, Yumiko, Ezekiel, and Princess. 

I’m just saying: I think we can only expect more of this. Like, rather than the very Frank-Darabont-esque “gestures” to genre in favor of realism, we can expect big, sweeping oceans of genre, in which “realism” becomes whatever the creators want it to be. When you start steering a show or a story this way, you’re opening up all sorts of possibilities, a la, anyone who’s watched Supernatural or the X-Files knows that where science fiction and fantasy are concerned, NOBODY IS EVER REALLY DEAD, NOT REALLY. We know that the show is priming us for the return of Rick. We know that Connie is not dead. No matter what, the notion of resurrection in this show is not only possible at this point, it’s inevitable. We know, too, that @twdmusicboxmystery​ and other TD sleuths have established in aces that even after five seasons, the writers have still never definitively closed the door to opportunity for Beth’s return, not in-show, not offset. In some ways, they even seem to invite it! I mean?

So now, with genre on display, and resurrection on the table, when I think about them bringing in LEAH, magically, like, I KNOW it’s on purpose. The writers could have named her anything. But they named her...Leah. Leah?? They also mysteriously removed one of the wings from Daryl’s vest during the 6yr time jump, something that has still never been overtly explained (which is on purpose, it’s a symbol, but of what?). In reading Daryl as a Jacob character, I see his lost wing as a symbol that he has fallen from his ascent to heaven, re: Jacob’s Ladder:

He had a dream in which he saw a stairway resting on the earth, with its top reaching to heaven, and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it. - Genesis 28:12

Jacob’s Ladder is a unique symbol in Judaism and Christianity because it not only communicates the traditional spiritual story of ascent (mainly: to heaven, or a to a heaven place, Elysium, spirit realm, etc), but also DESCENT. Angels are going up, but they’re also falling down. We cannot ascend in life without periods of descent, or backsliding, etc. Nobody is perfect. Season 10 (and honestly, seasons 5-10 but that’s another post) shows a period of obvious “descent” for Daryl. He is a fallen angel, but at the end of season 10, Judith (with her Beth braid and her Sheriff’s hat and her many resounding Beth themes), gives Daryl a new wing. Season 10 then ends on an upswing for Daryl. He defeats Beta, atones with Negan, and saves his people. He is heading up again. 

It’s worth remembering, too, that Daryl’s relationship with Leah is not new, or present. It is past-tense. It took place during a major descent for him. It is not Leah who lifts Daryl up out of this descent. In a purposeful choice by the writers, it is Judith--a clear symbol of his past, of Rick, and of Beth--who returns his wing to him. Judith is also an important symbol of the future. She survived against all odds, the firstborn of the apocalypse, a shepherd of her father’s people. 

SO, YEAH. It IS interesting. I am SUPER interested. In the wake of seasons 9/10, crazy genre-heavy seasons that introduce resurrection as a distinct, inevitable theme, Daryl’s weird, overt angel imagery, Jacob-parallels, and now: LEAH. Why would Kang toss in some random LI for Daryl, knowing full well what the reaction will be, only to then NAME HER LEAH? Jacob worked for seven years to marry Rachel, but he was deceived into marrying Leah instead. The notable caveat to this story is that, ofc, Jacob also gets to marry Rachel! but not until after his wedding period with Leah, and he has to work SEVEN MORE YEARS, too. Jacob gets kicked down a lot! His name literally means “heeled.” But in the end, he is the wrestler of angels, contender with God, father of Joseph, etc. etc. He ascends.

So I honestly have no idea what any of this means! But it makes me type a lot. And I DO know it means something, because it is true that, in The Walking Dead, everything means something, especially now, with Angela Kang, Bethyl writer and genre/symbol lover in charge, and with every bit of genre and every symbol ratcheted up to like, 11, and LEAH. No matter what, we can’t take it for granted!!

#the walking dead #bethyl #daryl dixon #beth greene #team delusional #thanks anon #i don't pay attention to things because i suck at it lol #your update kept me occupied this morning!! #i love thinking about daryl/beth #💕💕💕 #beth greene lives on #Anonymous

[leahclearwaterdefensesquad]

jessicajnp huge homophobe and ships jake x renesmee/is complicit in pedophilia/grooming in general

Hey anon, you are absolutely right! I just checked @jessicanjpa 's blog and WHEW. That's definitely one for the blocklist. Women who feel the need to point out they're "Christian moms" in their bios already set off alarm bells, for me at least.

I reblogged that post b/c obviously I want to spread the link to donate to the Quileute tribe, but I have deleted it now. There's other posts I can rb/make myself. You are so right, it's bad. I even took screenshots for proof.

TW/CW Homophobia, pedophilic shipping, being a complete self-centered bitch.

Proof of her supporting that nasty ass ship. jfc. I may come back and hyperlink these posts when I'm not on mobile.

And now for the homophobia. This is the ask she was sent where I think she first aired her shitty views.

"aNd OnLy tHe aCt nOtHiNg tO dO wItH tHe iDeNtItY" fucking dumbass karen is what she is.

"If you're enthusiastic about hateful ideology, please stay away from me" THE AUDACITY ON THIS BITCH LITERALLY ALL OF THIS MAKES ME ENTITLED TO SHOVE MY BOOT UP HER ASS!!! As IF homophobia in and of itself isn't already hateful!!!

"I prefer not to endorse or legitimize the act of homosexuality..." Literally everything you see from the link on the bottom does nothing to counteract this statement and Ik - I read the whole fucking thing.

I'll post the screenshots here so y'all can see the self-centered bullshit she calls an apology. Everything I underlined in red is more proof of homophobia or just outright stupidity. Then again, the whole thing is as well.

"... like I tried to explain before, I wasn't homophobic" I would like this @jessicanjpa to know that I am morally opposed to heterosexuality :////. I don't like to endorse it, I mean being str*ight??? What about the children!!! These ppl ship pedophilic ships for God's sake!!!! Their children get exposed to heterosexism and misogynistic gender roles as babies!!! I mean, I won't tell someone that is a cisgendered heterosexual - ugh, it makes me shudder just to say the words - that what they do is simply wrong, but it just - ugh, I just can't legitimize it. It's just too much for me!

... and I mean, if I were to force myself to reckon with the existence of heterosexuality and that I'm heterophobic, I would have to make it all about me and my journey of pseudo spiritual understanding instead of actually LEARNING that the views I still hold are monumentally stupid and harmful. And criticizing my jOuRnEy to understand the heterosexuality issue is just bullying >:(. Calling out and criticizing me out for being heterophobic is just. BULLYING!!! >:(((((

It's just that these people are so hateful!!! 😫 They try to pass laws to okay the discrimination of us gay, bi, and trans folks - look at the current news from here in the so-called Land of the Free! They still try to put us through conversion therapy and even murdering us for merely existing!! It's not like we do that to them - there aren't any laws forcing the str*rights to undergo conversion therapy or being told that they are influenced by the Devil (they are tho). Even though I'm trying to unlearn my heterphobia, I just can't get past these several things about even today's Heterosexual Movement😠!! I'm just me, after all!!! Why do I have to fear for my life in my own home just because they think it makes them proper Christians!!! 😓 I'm trying to unlearn y'all, I truly am!

One day, folks, I'll get there. I'll be able to not interact with a hetero and not cringe on the inside when they're affectionate in front of me. One day, maybe I'll reblog a hetero ship or fanart! One day, maybe I'll write Leah or Rosalie with a man instead of being a huge ole pussy slurping/girl dick sucking lesbian - actually no, that's a lie, that'll never happen.

If anyone doesn't understand why what I underlined (or anything else in those posts, for the matter) is homophobic, I'm not gonna hold your hand for you. Miss Jessica, you don't have to feel comfortable with us homosexuals (also, just say gay or lesbian for fuck's sake, and no, you don't deserve to be asked nicely), bisexuals, transgender people (including non binary ppl ofc), pansexuals, queer ppl, asexuals, or intersex folk. It's not your stupid journey that matters, it's that you think that being LGBT+ is wrong, no matter how you try to word it or what ignorant shit you spit up to justify it. Grow up, you conservative. We don't have time for your bullshit.

And I just want to thank anon real quick for letting me know the douchebag that I reblogged from. I never mean to purposely rb from the bigots so just lmk like anon did and I'll fix that. ❤

#jessicanjpa #personal asks #anon asks #homophobia tw #pedophilic shipping tw #please tell me y'all understand satire #long ass post #blocklist

[thegreymoon]

How hot is the character: Webb and Keegan Sherman 😏

| 😐Not My Type😐 | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY |

*dodges sharp objects and runs into hiding*

I know, I know!! 😫 Just hear me out on this one, OK? 

First of all, let me just make it clear that this was absolutely deliberate on the show’s part. The whole point of this character (characters?) is that they are physical perfection and should be so hot, they would set the scenery on fire wherever they pass, yet they are so fantastically creepy, the hotness is just lost and you are sitting there, laughing uncomfortably, going what the everloving fuck?? 😅

Also, let me make it clear, this is yet another role where we see just how absolutely talented Bradley is, he is just gifted when it comes to comedy (not that he doesn’t do the serious, dramatic roles perfectly too, as we all have Damien to attest to that). 

All the characters in this show are caricatures to a greater or lesser degree, the villains are all ridiculous and hilarious. The Sherman twins are so incredibly unlikeable in every possible way, but they are absolutely entertaining! At one point, Leah describes them as “these creepy twins” and it couldn’t be more accurate! When I say “not my type”, I mean, they are exactly what you would expect a cartoon villain in a cartoon to be like; they are obscenely rich, live in this bubble of privilege and self-indulgence and are completely devoid of all empathy and conscience. Of course, this is carefully tailored to provoke a certain level of disgust in the target audience, considering the sociopolitical climate we are currently living in and the outrageous, ever-growing gap between the rich and the poor. The Sherman twins are a cardboard cutout of the sociopathic billionaire we all reserve our unrestrained loathing for. 

Mind you, physically attractiveness aside, the moral failings of various kinds of villains have never stopped anyone from thirsting after them (Kylo Ren and the clown from It come to mind, but hey, I have a loooooong list of my own guilty sins so I’m really not judging). However, one thing this show is extremely good at is taking obviously hot people and situations that should be sexy by all established norms of modern media and making them as unsexy as they possibly can in the most obvious but understated ways.

The Sherman twins are such a great example of this. Let’s start with their introduction scenes; the fencing duel is such an obvious, tropey thirst trap! It’s written and designed in a way that should (stereotypically) hit all the right buttons. Like, Bradley, goddamn: 

But then they go and do *this*: 

Poof! All sexiness evaporated (and everyone who has watched this show will know exactly what I’m talking about 😂😂)!

Also, let’s talk about the incest. I was expecting the subtext (I’d seen all the stills and gifs, after all), but come on now, that is not subtext, it couldn’t be more obvious and there is not a single scene with the two of them together that does not rub it in! Mind you, sibling incest, especially twincest, also never stopped anyone from thirsting (yours truly here pleads the Fifth, not that her AO3 is any kind of evidence against her or anything 🙄🙄), but these two are just so goddamn creepy as individuals and as a pair. 

With all that said and the general understanding that the Sherman twins are the actual worst, Bradley James himself in this role is: 

| 🔥🔥LORD MERCY🔥🔥 |

I mean, this man is a Greek statue, OMG 😭 If he was born in the ancient times, I’m convinced he would be worshipped as a demigod or something: 

Honourable mention to these strategically placed flowers: 

And the infamous handjob scene: 

(When this happened, I howled, I can’t believe they actually went there! Anyway, yes, the resulting mental imagery was very much appreciated! 😂😂)

In conclusion: Bradley James is perfection, news at 11, but I am going to take this opportunity to warmly recommend this show to anyone who has not seen it because, sadly, it doesn’t look like it’s getting much traction and I was shocked by how vicious the reviews on IMDb were when this is, hands down, one of the best things I’ve watched recently. 

The show is just hilarious, almost the entire cast is amazing, I loved every second and binge-watched the first season without even noticing! There was not a dull moment for the whole six episodes! It was such a breath of fresh air in all the cliched, poorly written, depressing nonsenseI’ve been watching lately and the pointless violence and unapologetic misogyny masquerading as being ‘gritty’, ‘edgy’ and ‘realistic’. 

Don’t get me wrong, Bounty Hunters is both shockingly violent and incredibly filthy (seriously, I did not expect that amount of graphic, brutal death going in), but it works. I am also not a fan of comedy in general, humour very rarely clicks for me, but this had me sobbing! The characters are so vibrant, vivid and interesting (with the exception of Nina’s niece 😫 Seriously, who did that girl have dirt on to get hired, she can’t act to save her life and was, beyond a doubt, the worst part of the show and her scenes were the only ones to pull me out of the story, but they managed to do it every single time, she is that bad 😖)! 

The main villains were all delightfully unlikeable and evil (with the exception of the ISIS bunch, who had zero charisma or interesting points and were just kind of… there). The Sherman twins were terrible but hilarious, the cartel was one of my favourite things in the show, Barnaby’s father was just so sleazy but I think that particular actor could make me laugh at anything! Barnaby and Nina are the only actual ‘goodies’ in the show (their words 😂😂) but they are so flawed and ridiculous and not afraid to laugh at their own expense! I just loved them! (Also, their mothers were a piece of work, Barnaby’s mother in particular, that woman is gifted, I swear 😂😂)

And I am really digressing here, but I just have to talk about those reviews on IMDb because I personally found the worst of the complaints completely ridiculous and something I couldn’t disagree with more! They mostly seemed to have an issue with the unapologetic violence, but for me, that was a part of the charm and there is no rule that says that comedy should be kid and family-friendly. I thought this was sufficiently grim without going overboard into exploitative and gross, and in spite of the dark undertones, the overall theme of the show is family, loyalty and love. Also, the second thing that really stuck out to me is that some people really seem to have an issue with the lead actress being an older woman, some complete moron called her a grandma in a derogatory fashion and said that she cannot be ‘a badass woman’ because of it (or a romantic interest, I imagine). Personally, I loved the unusual age difference, where, for once, the woman gets to be the older, more experienced and the more badass one, and the man gets to be young, pretty and naive. They don’t actually get together in the first season (I don’t know about the second one, I haven’t gotten around to it yet), but I personally enjoyed their will-they-won’t they and all the banter (seriously, I have not actively shipped the two het m/f leads in a show in ages). Besides, Barnaby and Nina have crazy amounts of chemistry together and I could totally get behind the two of them having all the filthy, kinky sex they can physically manage! Not to mention, I find it so incredibly offensive that an older woman somehow can no longer be hot of badass (and Nina is so, so hot and badass) and it is depressing that in the year of our Lord 2020 we still have to deal with this sexist, ageist, misogynistic tripe. If the ages were reversed, I promise you, nobody would be complaining! /end rant

And since I’m already way, way off-topic (and the general topic is all about hot people, after all), I’d just like to gush about these two 🔥🔥 LORD MERCY 🔥🔥 individuals, because goddamn: 

This is Charity Wakefield, she plays Leah in the show (who is an absolute delight), and she is, IMO, one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen 😍

And this smouldering piece of perfection is Christian Ochoa:

And these two stupid hot people somehow manage to have the least sexy sex in the history of TV (multiple times!!) and make a demon baby together (I hope, but like I said, I haven’t season 2 yet) 😂 As I mentioned earlier, this show loves to mess with our expectations of perceived hotness and I found it so refreshing and hilarious! 😂😂

I fully admit that if it wasn’t for Bradley James, Bounty Hunters is something that I would never have picked up (I very much doubt it would have even crossed my radar because I really am not a fan of comedies in general), but I am very, very grateful that I did! I am looking forward to season 2 and I read that season 3 is also in the works (please, Bradley, come back for that one too and do some more nude scenes with strategically placed flowers, we are all begging)! 😜

#how hot is that character #bradley james #bounty hunters #the sherman brothers #webb sherman #keegan sherman #sherman twins #charity wakefield #christian ochoa #damien is coming next #big sorry to the anons waiting for these #i just have so many opinions #and so much typing to do #i can't manage it on my phone without a keyboard #and these last few weeks have been hellish with work #and all the viruses i regularly pick up on public transport #Anonymous