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jalapeno-princess · 4 years

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All I Need is You

(Guys I miss Mark so fucking much *Cue Tori Vega I think we all miss Mark)

Songwriter Mark X Reader

Genre: Extremely fluffy angst (is that even a thing?)

Word Count: 5.8K

Summary: For all your life, your parents raised you to be the perfect daughter of every parent’s dreams. You did every single thing your parents forced you to do and never did you complain about anything they’d make you do, no matter how badly you wanted to. That all changed the day your path collides with Mark Tuan. After being stripped of your childhood completely in order to be respective and follow your parent’s desires, Mark shows you how beautiful life can be when you do the things you want to. Mark is the breath of fresh air from a life you feel so suffocated in. For the duration of your relationship, you did your best in hiding him from your parents in fear of them disapproving of the older boy. However, once you graduate from college, you decide you are old enough to make your own decisions and you build the courage to introduce your boyfriend to your family. The night starts off without a hitch; everyone seems to really like him up until your mom asks him what he does for a living. That’s when things take a turn for the worst and your mom gives you an ultimatum; to chose between the love of your life and your family.

A/N: Hey guys, so I’ve been wanting to write an imagine based on the song Paris by the chainsmokers for the longest time and here it is. Only when I reached the middle of writing the story did I realize this is the complete opposite of my other story “Second Chances” LOL. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this story (most of it is written in past tense so I hope you don’t get confused).

We were staying in Paris To get away from your parents And I thought, "Wow If I could take this in a shot right now I don't think that we could work this out" Out on the terrace I don't know if it's fair but I thought "How Could I let you fall by yourself While I'm wasted with someone else

"If we go down then we go down together They'll say you could do anything They'll say that I was clever If we go down then we go down together We'll get away with everything Let's show them we are better Let's show them we are better Let's show them we are better

“Hey, everything okay?”

It was currently 2:45 a.m. and normally, you’d be fast asleep right now but you couldn’t help feeling as if the bed grew more spacious and colder than it was when you first went to sleep. Mark was your own personal furnace; the two of you fell asleep pretty early after a long day of sightseeing and an even longer night of love making.

After multiple rounds of his all but gentle kisses on your neck, jaw and chest as he rammed himself in and out of your velvety walls, you both were too tired to get up and clean yourselves off. He immediately pulled you in to his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around your waist while placing his face in the crook of your neck and whispering sweet nothings until his dreams finally took a hold of him. It’s been like this for the last three weeks since you and Mark ran away to Paris in the hopes of hiding from your extremely overprotective and non-understanding parents.

You’d go sight seeing, visit a couple of museums, cute little coffee shops and sometimes you’d even go to a farmer’s market and you’d buy food to make for recipes you and Mark learned while watching whatever they had on television. Almost every single night ended up in sex; on a few occasions, there were drunken stupors where one of you or sometimes even both of you would have a little too much to drink and you’d have wild, kinky sex.

Then there were the days where you’d argue over minuscule and unnecessary things and usually Mark would be the first to give up and apologizing with his head between your thighs. Most of your love making sessions were soft, passionate and very romantic.

To strangers or people who weren’t familiar with him, Mark gave off an intimidating and sometimes standoffish kind of vibe. It was only because he was actually very shy and soft spoken and those who actually knew him were aware of how talkative and outgoing he could be around those he was comfortable with.

Unfortunately, your parents were the kind of people you’d always sought praise from and you’d do whatever you could to make them proud. Ever since you were a little girl, you went along with every command they would give you, you never complained about the clubs they’d put you in or the clothes they had you wear. It wasn’t as if you were the only child, you had three other siblings but since you were the youngest, your parents were a little more strict with you even if you never gave them a reason to question or mistrust you.

It wasn’t until Mark came in to your life that your relationship with your parents took a completely different turn. You’ve known Mark since middle school and although you hardly ever talked to him, you did admire him from afar and you could only wish to build up the courage so that maybe one day, you’d be able to at least say hello.

He was always such a social butterfly and made friends with anybody he’d interact with. All the girls in your grade had a crush on him, but you couldn’t blame them. Not only was he a sight for sore eyes, he was such a free spirit; he had decent grades and not once did the teachers have any problems with him like they did with his friends. But he was never one to genuinely care about his education, and unfortunately that was his downfall.

When you finally entered high school, it’s as if the world felt like it was time for you and Mark to come together and for your two worlds to become one. In your first semester, he was in almost every single one of your classes. You didn’t think you were the smartest person in your grade, but you did pretty well in all the subjects. All those years of long, grueling days of summer school actually paid off. Sometimes, you hated being the youngest.

Your parents expected so much out of you but they never seemed to care about anything that your two older brothers and your older sister did. They all got to join groups, clubs and sports that they genuinely liked whereas you were coerced in to learning how to play the violin and the cello. You were thankful that school was considerably easy for you seeing as how your parents made education your first priority.

While your brothers would play video games and your sister would talk on the phone with her friends, you’d be practicing math problems and read books about the civil war. You didn’t think you got to experience a legitimate childhood you’d witness all your classmates and friends had. For that reason alone, you always felt different from everybody else and it was the reason why you were so hesitant on continuing friendships with the few friends you did have from middle school.

You could never relate to anything they’d talk about; all their favorite movies they’d watch, the latest installment of Grand theft auto that they’d play, going to each other’s houses—you weren’t even allowed to cross the street by yourself let alone go out with your friends. Entering high school by yourself had to be one of the most scariest things you had to go through and because your siblings were at least five years older than you, none of them would be there at least if you needed someone to confide in or run to.

From all the stories you’d hear from each of them, their high school experiences were ones for the books. Both of your brothers joined each and every sport you could think of and your sister was the co-captain of the cheerleading team. She also had a few boyfriends in high school and you felt as if a lot of the mistakes she made were the reasons why your parents took complete control of your life.

It didn’t take long for Mark to acknowledge your existence; in fact, what you didn’t know was that back in middle school, he noticed you even if you didn’t realize it yourself. While all the girls would ogle over him and try to get his attention, he would find himself admiring you from afar.

Mark always thought you were so cute; you were always hesitant to answer the questions your teacher would ask you even if everyone was aware you knew the answer, whenever someone asked you for help you were always so quick to attend to them no matter what they were asking of you and he could never get the way you would blush when you were flustered out of his head.

He had no problem talking with other girls, but he’d become a mess at even just the thought of having to talk to you. Mark was quick to pick up on how you had most of your classes together, and he was going to use this to his advantage. Only a month in to school, both his algebra teacher and his language arts teacher pulled him to the side to tell him that he wasn’t doing too good in their classes. It wasn’t that Mark was purposefully failing his classes in order to get you to tutor him, he never was all that amazing in school to begin with.

High school wasn’t even half as easy as middle school was. Getting anything lower than a C wasn’t going to cut it and now that he had two Ds, he planned on asking you for some help. When Mark did approach you and asked you to help him catch up with a couple of missing assignments and to help teach him some algebra formulas, you had a hard time believing he was even talking to you. In the beginning of your tutoring sessions, he was always quite the gentleman.

He’d give you his full attention, always waited till you were done talking before he’d ask you a question, he’d tell you silly jokes so that it wasn’t always about studying and learning and sometimes he would drop you home after your meetings. It didn’t take long for your tutoring sessions to turn in to something more and only three months after getting to know each other, he asked you to be his girlfriend.

Dating Mark was a dream you never think would become a reality. He was extremely kind hearted and took care of you in ways you didn’t think you’d be able to experience. You were shocked when he confessed that he’s liked you for all these years, and you were quick to admit the same to him. Knowing how your parents could be, you decided to keep your relationship with Mark a secret and he was very understanding about the entire thing.

The two of you would sneak around during and after school for the entirety of your high school years and your love for one another only grew stronger as the time went by. You fell in love with him in tiny little coffee shops, in the back of the library where you’d be making out together when you were supposed to be studying. You’d lie to your parents and say you were preparing for tests and picking up on extra credit when really you’d be lying in the back of Mark’s truck, cuddling in his arms while looking up at the stars.

Mark did a great job at helping you take your mind off of how perfect you were supposed to be. He was the breath of fresh air that you’ve always craved and now that you had him, you didn’t think you would be able to let him go. Ever. He made you feel like a little kid again; you actually got to experience all sorts of things you’ve wanted to do as a child through your relationship. It didn’t take you long to fall in love with him.

Being in love was an indescribable feeling. Every time something good happened to you, he was the first person you wanted to tell and whenever something bad happened, he was the shoulder you wanted to cry on. He always knew the right thing to say; but if there ever was a time he didn’t know how to respond to something, he would just hold you comfortingly while whispering sweet, encouraging words in your ear.

People claimed that perfect people didn’t exist and if that’s the case, then Mark came pretty close. You felt as if he was sent in your life to be your safe haven; your sanity. The burst of color in your world of black and white. He had a habit of telling you he loved you every single day and even if he weren’t to do so, his actions spoke for him. You don’t know how you did it, but you actually did a great job in hiding Mark from your parents for the last few years.

There were times where you did come pretty close to getting caught; whether it was because of how loud you didn’t think you were while talking on the phone with him, or when you’d come back home with swollen lips and tousled hair. It didn’t matter to you though. A part of you was ready for whatever response you’d receive from your parents. Honestly, Mark was the kind of guy you’d bring home to your parents; so you weren’t afraid of the idea of introducing him to your family.

The only thing you were really worried about was what they would say when they were to find out you were hiding a boyfriend from them for over six years. After graduating from high school, both you and Mark went straight in to college. You went in to study criminal law and he had high hopes of becoming an engineer. Three months in to college, Mark decided it wasn’t for him and as his girlfriend, although you were upset at the idea, you supported and trusted his choices.

College wasn’t for everybody. With that being said, it was then that you found out he wanted to become a songwriter. In the few years that you’ve known him for, not once did he ever talk about wanting to write songs. You didn’t think he was passionate about music in general let alone wanting to write music for artists but when he showed you a few of the songs he had wrote, with most of them being about you, you knew he was extremely talented.

Mark always had a way with words and now that you saw them written down on paper, you knew you’d continue to support his dreams and his future endeavors and that you would do anything to help him if he needed it. Before you knew it, four years came and gone and you graduated from college with your bachelor’s degree in criminal justice. It didn’t take too long for law firms to reach out to you with internships and to see if you were interested to work for their companies. Mark was also very successful with his career.

He started off small; he wrote a few things here and there for some up and coming artists but it wasn’t anything too major. No matter how patient he was, there were times he did grow discouraged and felt like giving up but you never allowed him to. You saw how passionate he was about writing. You’d watch him stay up trying to write down any ideas that would pop through his head.

The road to success wasn’t easy, but when he got an offer from a record company to write songs for a popular artist you both listened to, he was extremely over the moon and made sure to let you know your love, your patient, your support and your determination to help him succeed was what kept him going.

The day came where you felt like you were ready to tell your parents about the man you were head over heels in love with and the reaction you got wasn’t one you were expecting. When you brought him over for dinner, both your mother and your sister raved over how good looking he was and your brothers tried their best to come off as the older, overprotective brothers boyfriends wouldn’t want to mess with. But when they heard Mark played fortnite, they were sold.

Even your father took a liking to him once Mark told him his favorite football team were the Patriots. Everything seemed to be going perfectly and you were so upset with yourself for keeping him a secret for so long. It wasn’t until your mother asked him what he did for a living that things only went downhill from there. I’m a songwriter. You could still remember the grave look on your mom’s face and with the way she motioned for you to follow her and your father in to the living room while excusing the three of you from the table, you knew it wasn’t going to be good.

You were angry that she didn’t wait for dinner to be finished or even for Mark to go home before ridiculing him on his career. It was obvious that she wasn’t too happy to hear he was a musician but it didn’t matter what she thought. Hell, you didn’t care about what anyone in your family thought about him. You loved Mark, with every beat of your heart and there was nothing your parents could say or do to change your mind about him.

“You are to break up with that boy immediately.”

Your eyes widened in shock at your mother’s command and for the first time looking her, hell, looking at your parents, you didn’t feel afraid of them. This time, you had something beautiful worth fighting for. This wasn’t something minuscule; it wasn’t something you could just stop like piano lessons or tennis practice. This was an 8 year long relationship she was telling you to end and there was no way you were going to lose against your parents without putting up a fight.

“No.”

The scoff that came from your mother’s throat wasn’t unexpected. This was the first time ever you talked back to either of your parents. This was the first time you actually said the word no in your 23 years of existence and damn, it felt really good.

“Excuse me? Did you just tell your mother no? Y/n, he’s a musician! He will never be able to give you the life you deserve! That is not a career! You’ll be the one having to take care of your entire family, I refuse to let this man ruin your life. You’re going to throw away everything you’ve worked so hard for—for someone whose position in your life isn’t promised. You know better than this, there are plenty more men in the world with better jobs and probably better living situations. Mrs.Choi’s son is a—“

“I don’t give a shit about Mrs.Choi’s son or Mrs.Park’s son or anyone’s damn son for that matter. I love Mark. I am in love with Mark. I only want Mark. Mark is all I need. I don’t care about what his job title is. It makes him happy and he’s pretty fucking amazing at what he does. But like I said, I don’t give a shit what he does for a living. He could be a garbage man and I’d still love him with every fiber of my being because that’s what love is mom. Love is not money, it’s not a big mansion in Beverly Hills with a doctor husband and six cars I will probably never drive. Love is what I feel when I’m with Mark. He takes care of me. He makes me laugh when I’m sad, he makes me smile even in the most inconvenient situations. He does my laundry, cleans our apartment, blow dries my hair when I’m tired, takes me to and pays for all my doctor’s appointments. We’ve been together for almost 8 years and these last 8 years have been the best years of my entire life because of him. The two of you stripped away the entirety of my childhood from me and Mark was the fountain of youth to help me experience actually being a human.” If looks could kill, the glare your mother was sending you would have you six feet under, but you didn’t care.

“I’m not a little girl anymore. I’m grown. I’m an adult for crying out loud you guys can’t tell me what to do anymore. I’m sorry you can’t accept it but I love Mark and I plan on doing so for the rest of my life and there’s nothing either of you can say or do to change my mind.”

“If you leave with him tonight, you are never allowed back in to this house ever again.” The burst of confidence and bravery you had confessing your love for Mark and the fact that you had every intention of staying with him went right out the window at your mother’s ultimatum. Was she really making you choose between your boyfriend and your family? There was no way you could choose between the two of them. Yes, Mark was the best thing that’s ever happened to you. But to lose all contact with your family because your parents were being unfair and irrational with their decision? She didn’t even take the time to listen to your words; did she not care about your health, happiness and well-being? Here was a man putting her youngest daughter on a pedestal, giving her the entire world and more but yet she still couldn’t accept that. You didn’t know the consequences of your next few words, but it wasn’t even a question. “Mark, we’re leaving. Let’s go.”

Your boyfriend came out from the kitchen and you had a feeling he probably heard the entire conversation between you and your parents, but your mind was so focused on leaving before things could get any worse. “Y/n, wait, sweetie think about this—think about what you’re doing—are you really willing to give up your family for a boy?”

“A man—he’s a man and yes—he’s all the family I could ever need. He’s shown me more love and support in our 8 years of being together than either of you did in the last 23 years of my existence. If you were a really family, you’d accept Mark for who he is and what he does and you’d be happy with the fact that he takes such good care of me but no. Your pride, your reputation, your wealth, your social status and your ego are more important than my feelings and what I want. You don’t care about me. You never cared about me you just cared about what others would think about me and I’m sick of it. I’m done. Have a nice rest of your life. Assholes.”

You marched out of the house and a huge weight was lifted off of your shoulders. With the rate you were walking, your boyfriend had to practically jog to catch up with you because you were filled with so many different emotions. Anger. Sadness. Grief. But no regret, nor any remorse. You knew you made the right decision in choosing Mark because not only did you choose Mark, you chose yourself. You were no longer going to allow your parents to dictate your life anymore.

“Baby—are you alright?” You gave him a sad smile before stealing a soft kiss from the corner of his mouth.

“Maybe not right now, but I will be. Take me home Mark.” Your siblings tried to get in touch with you for weeks, trying to get you to come back and to talk things out with your parents, but the damage was done. Neither of them were going to accept your relationship. It was a tough pill to swallow, but you accepted it for what it was.

Even if one day they came around and accepted Mark being a songwriter, there was no way you could ever forget the look of disgust on your mom’s face when Mark said what his job was nor could you forget how your dad just stood there and said nothing. It genuinely showed that neither of your parents really cared about you even if you were the star child out of the four of you and that’s what was hurting you the most.

Mark did his best to try and take your mind off what had happened and every time you’d look at him while he was sleeping, while he was cooking the two of you dinner or while the two of you would shower together, you’d see the glint in his eyes as he looked at you like you were one of the seven wonders of the world and you knew you made the right choice. You’d pick him again and again every single time.

He never brought up the fact that your parents didn’t accept his passion but you were sure it must have hurt him. Especially because that’s was caused you to be cut off from your entire family, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t extremely content with your decision. A few weeks ago, Mark got a call from the record company he was working for and gave him the opportunity to travel around Europe to work with a couple of the entertainers there and he didn’t hesitate to ask you to tag along with him.

The adventure started off in Italy, then you found yourselves in London and Greece. Each and every city was more than you could even imagine. The scenery was so beautiful, the food was delicious, the people were so sweet and the fact that you got to experience it all with your soulmate; your favorite person was a feeling you would never be able to fathom in to words.

Paris had to be your favorite place you had visited so far and you were sure it had to deal with the fact that it was the city of love and you were making the most of it with the love of your life by your side. It was currently winter in Paris right now; the temperature only grew colder as the days went by which is why you were shocked to see Mark outside on the balcony in only his underwear, but the sight did make your cheeks pink.

No matter how many times you’ve seen him naked, you always got so shy and flustered. He was freezing cold when you finally found your way behind him, you placed your chin on his shoulder blade and left a soft kiss there while lazily wrapping your arms around his hips. The giggle that fell from your lips at the feeling of your bare chest against his back couldn’t be helped, he was so cold and the frost nipped at your skin.

It took you a few moments to notice the cigarette in his hand and when you did, you grew worried. Mark hated cigarettes. He hated the smell and hated the negative effect they had on people’s bodies. However, you noticed he began smoking them after working with a well-known rapper who claimed that smoking helped him relax. It was a habit you weren’t too fond of; you knew it was probably damaging his lungs and you could taste the ash in his kisses, but you knew something had to be bothering him for him to want to even start smoking so you never tried stopping him.

For the last month, you haven’t seen a pack of cigarettes lying around the place nor did the scent linger on his clothes so you knew there was a chance he stopped. Seeing that ugly death stick in between his fingers made your blood boil; you didn’t want anything happening to his health because of a stupid decision he‘d make whenever he was upset.

“Go back to bed baby. I’ll be there soon, I just needed a little break. I’m fine.” You’ve been with Mark long enough to know when he was lying. You didn’t have to see him; the lack of confidence in his voice and the way he tensed up against your body made it clear that something was indeed on his mind, and there was no way you’d be able to go back to sleep knowing he was overthinking.

“Talk to me Mark. Something is obviously bothering you and I want to be able to help you.” He released a long sigh before putting out the cigarette and turning to face you. His eyes were red and puffy and there were dried tears on his cheeks.

The idea of him crying made your heart hurt; he was always the strong one in your relationship. No matter how rough life would get for him, he never showed that he was having a hard time. He hated burdening other people, especially you. So all his battles, he’d keep to himself. You hated that he never confided in you the way you always seemed to with him. You wanted to be able to help him carry the burden or to help fight the war in his mind that he was battling alone.

“Why did you do it?” You immediately looked at him in confusion. What was he talking about? What did you do that could be causing him so much distress and frustration?

“Mark—“

“You gave up everything to be with me. You’re completely cut off from your parents, you gave up your job at the law firm, you had to sell your car, you left all your friends without any explanation as to why you were leaving—just for me. I can’t give you everything that I want to just yet. I can’t promise to give you a big house, a nice car—we’ve been together for years and I have every intention on marrying you y/n but I can’t afford to buy you the ring of your dreams—I’m honestly nothing. I’m a college dropout trying to become a renowned songwriter y/n. Sure, I’ve been getting quite a few amazing opportunities but it isn’t enough for us to be set for the rest of our lives nor can we really be comfortable. Like your mom said, there are many men out there who’d be able to take care of you in the ways that I can’t. All I can do is love you y/n, and fuck. I love you more than you can even fathom yourself. But you deserve so much more and sometimes love isn’t enough—“

“Do you hear yourself right now? Are you really asking me why I left my life behind to be with you? My family, I love them dearly. But you know how I feel about my parents, how they sheltered me, overprotected me, forced me in to doing things I didn’t want to. They never did care about how I felt; not once did they stop and think maybe they were working me to the bone. I was never happy Mark. Until you came in to my life and I really don’t know what I would do if I were to lose you. I’m assuming you must’ve heard what my mom said and don’t you dare listen or even think what she said was true. You are not nothing Mark. You are so talented, so hardworking, so passionate and dedicated and if anyone deserves the world baby—it’s you. I meant what I said when I told her I couldn’t give less of a shit about any materialistic things. What’s a fucking Porsche going to do for me if my husband neglects me? What’s a big house if the person that I love isn’t there to share it with me?” You brought your hand up to cup his cheek and released a sigh of relief when he leaned in to your palm.

“You and I could live in a fucking box and I wouldn’t care and you wanna know why? Because you’re there. All I need is you. I don’t care where we go, who we meet, how much money we have in our bank accounts; as long as I have you right beside me, I’m not worried about anything. I can get another car Mark, I can find another job, I can make new friends—but there is never going to be another you. So stop beating yourself up about the decisions I made in the last few months. I did it for us. I did it because I love you. I will never love anyone the way I love you. Now get it out of your head that I deserve someone better than you because a man like that doesn’t exist. And yes—your love is enough Mark. It’s all that matters to me. The way you take care of me when I’m sick, or hold me close as we watch a scary movie. The way you take a bite out of my food to make sure it isn’t too hot, although I feel like you use that as an excuse just to try my food. The way you can be so tired, yet you want to sit down and listen to me go on about my day. You love me Mark. You never fail to say it, but it means more to me because you never fail to show it either.” At this point, his tears were flowing steadily from the bird of his eyelids and you found yourself wiping them away every time new tears fell.

“A person’s job title, the amount of education they’ve received, the kind of car they drive and the house they live in; none of that matters babe. I know you probably hear this all the time, but it’s what the inside that matters. Genuinely. All the wealth, the riches, it doesn’t make you better than anyone else. Your personality, your selflessness, your golden heart, your generosity, your patience, the love you never fail to show others, that’s why I fell in love with you. Oh—and your stupidly handsome looks but that’s besides the point. I’d go wherever it is that you’ll go. Whatever you need me to do, or be in order to help you grow as an artist or just a human being in general, I’ll do it. I’ll do anything for you Mark Tuan. And one day, when everything works out with your career, we can rub it in my parents faces. No more tears my love. It’s just you and I; and that’s what makes me the most happy. Oh—and I don’t need a big wedding or a huge diamond ring to get me to marry you. You could get me a ring pop for all I care. I just want to be with you. We could honestly elope in one of the hotel’s chapels if that’s what you want.”

He didn’t miss a beat before bringing his hands on either side of your face and roughly connecting your lips together. His mouth was warm and wet against yours, his kisses were rough and needy. It’s as if he was putting everything he wanted to say to you in to the kiss. How grateful he was for you. How much you meant to him. How much he loved you more than his heart could genuinely handle. Mark knew he needed to continue fighting for his dream in order to prove to you that you made the right decision in choosing him. Soon, the atmosphere was filled of sexual tension and it didn’t take too long for you to feel something hard against your thigh.

“I just—I hope—fuck. Thank you baby. I could never thank you enough for everything that you’ve done and continue to do for me. You’re the most ethereal being to walk on this earth you know that. I really, really do not deserve you but I will spend the rest of my life proving to you that I’m sure happy you chose me. Don’t tempt me, I might just go down to the gift shop and get you that ring pop. I love you—so fucking much my beautiful girl. God , only you could make me hard as a rock while I’m in the middle of crying—I know it’s 3 A.M, and I promised I would take you to the Champs-Élysées later on today, but I really want to show you just how grateful I am for you. I also kinda want to solve this problem in my pants and fuck the shit out of you so let’s go baby. You might have to rent a motor chair to get around once I’m done with you.”

#got7 imagines #got7 #got7 mark #mark tuan #mark tuan got7

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welllpthisishappening · 3 years

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Welllp These Are Books: the March 2021 Edition

There aren’t even any pictures! Except in that one book where there were pictures! It was weird! This was a weird book month! Back at it again with thoughts and opinions about a whole mess of books that no one explicitly asked for, but I’ve got lots of thoughts and opinions and they only count if I share them on the internet. Seriously, someone let me go to a baseball game soon. Obligatory warning for spoilers and vaguely unhinged rants under the cut. As always, feel free to come tell me what else I should be reading at literally any time ever.

Best Book of the Month Honors Goes to This Book, Even Though They Called It Halftime at a Hockey Game. A Hockey Game!

The Dating Plan by Sara Desai

Daisy Patel is a software engineer who understands lists and logic better than bosses and boyfriends. With her life all planned out, and no interest in love, the one thing she can't give her family is the marriage they expect. Left with few options, she asks her childhood crush to be her decoy fiancé. Liam Murphy is a venture capitalist with something to prove. When he learns that his inheritance is contingent on being married, he realizes his best friend's little sister has the perfect solution to his problem. A marriage of convenience will get Daisy's matchmaking relatives off her back and fulfill the terms of his late grandfather's will. If only he hadn’t broken her tender teenage heart nine years ago… Sparks fly when Daisy and Liam go on a series of dates to legitimize their fake relationship. Too late, they realize that very little is convenient about their arrangement. History and chemistry aren't about to follow the rules of this engagement.

— Ok, it’s important to know that I really did love this book. It hit all my trope-wants. Childhood friends, incredibly stupid misunderstandings, pining, seriously God the pining, fake engagement, BANTER. It was all going great. I was occasionally swooning. They kept making out! And then! THEN. They went to a hockey game. On a date. A fake date. Cool, cool, cool. All tropes, all the time right? Not so fast, internet! Because these self-proclaimed Sharks SUPER FANS referred to intermission as “halftime was coming up.” Halftime! At a hockey game! That’s—that’s not how hockey works! If this hadn’t been “traditionally” published, I probably could have let it slide. But that was not the case. This was a “real” book with, I can only assume, real editors. All of whom saw the words halftime and hockey near each other and we’re like YEAH, PRINT THAT SHIT. I read that at nearly one in the morning and seriously considered waking Justin up to be like CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS IS IN A REAL BOOK? Anyway, it was still real cute. Everyone lived happily ever after. It made want to eat samosas.

This Book Had Pictures, It Was Weird

Clean Sweep by Ilona Andrews

On the outside, Dina Demille is the epitome of normal. She runs a quaint Victorian Bed and Breakfast in a small Texas town, owns a Shih Tzu named Beast, and is a perfect neighbor, whose biggest problem should be what to serve her guests for breakfast. But Dina is...different: Her broom is a deadly weapon; her Inn is magic and thinks for itself. Meant to be a lodging for otherworldly visitors, the only permanent guest is a retired Galactic aristocrat who can’t leave the grounds because she’s responsible for the deaths of millions and someone might shoot her on sight. Under the circumstances, "normal" is a bit of a stretch for Dina.

And now, something with wicked claws and deepwater teeth has begun to hunt at night...Feeling responsible for her neighbors, Dina decides to get involved. Before long, she has to juggle dealing with the annoyingly attractive, ex-military, new neighbor, Sean Evans—an alpha-strain werewolf—and the equally arresting cosmic vampire soldier, Arland, while trying to keep her inn and its guests safe. But the enemy she’s facing is unlike anything she’s ever encountered before. It’s smart, vicious, and lethal, and putting herself between this creature and her neighbors might just cost her everything.

— So, Ilona Andrews is a name that keeps coming up because when I borrow a book from the library I have to go through Kindle and Amazon is like...here are some other absurd fantasy romances you’d enjoy. Also, one of her other series had been recc’ed to me. Only problem? The first book in that series is the only book in that series not available at my library. So, I was like, ok, I’ll start this one instead. It was...weird. Honestly, it felt like I’d been dropped in the middle of the story and the narrator was like, well why don’t you already know what’s going on? In theory the world building was cool. (I was not expecting alien werewolves, lemme tell you that!) But also it all felt very rushed and the end just sorta happened.

In Which I Continue to Love “Same Verse” Books & No One Else Had Sex in the Port Jeff High School Dugout. For Which I Was Grateful

Love Her or Lose Her by Tessa Bailey

Rosie and Dominic Vega are the perfect couple: high school sweethearts, best friends, madly in love. Well, they used to be anyway. Now Rosie’s lucky to get a caveman grunt from the ex-soldier every time she walks in the door. Dom is faithful and a great provider, but the man she fell in love with ten years ago is nowhere to be found. When her girlfriends encourage Rosie to demand more out of life and pursue her dream of opening a restaurant, she decides to demand more out of love, too. Three words: marriage boot camp.

Never in a million years did Rosie believe her stoic, too-manly-to-emote husband would actually agree to relationship rehab with a weed-smoking hippie. Dom talking about feelings? Sitting on pillows? Communing with nature? Learning love languages? Nope. But to her surprise, he’s all in, and it forces her to admit her own role in their cracked foundation. As they complete one ridiculous—yet surprisingly helpful—assignment after another, their remodeled relationship gets stronger than ever. Except just as they’re getting back on track, Rosie discovers Dom has a secret... and it could demolish everything.

— Listen, one of my absolutely favorite tropes that I do not think gets enough love in the world is COMMITTED LONG-LASTING RELATIONSHIPS. And, like, ok, sure the premise of this was that they were separating in that long-lasting relationship. But no one really believed that, did they? Rosie and Dominic were real cute and their banter was good and I wasn’t totally skeeved out when they literally fucked on the kitchen floor. So, I think that’s saying something. Also, also! I seriously appreciated the realism of this book because no one on Long Island would ever call Manhattan Manhattan. It’s the city. Every other borough gets a name, but Manhattan is just the city and I nearly cheered when they said that. But also, no one’s taking a cab from Port Jeff to the Meatpacking District. You know what that would cost? God.

Tools of Engagement by Tessa Bailey

Hair, makeup, clothing, decor... everything in Bethany Castle's world is organized, planned, and styled to perfection. Which is why the homes she designs for her family's real estate business are the most coveted in town. The only thing not perfect? Her track record with men. She's on a dating hiatus and after helping her friends achieve their dreams, Bethany finally has time to focus on her own: flip a house, from framework to furnishings, all by herself. Except her older brother runs the company and refuses to take her seriously.

When a television producer gets wind of the Castle sibling rivalry, they’re invited on Flip Off, a competition to see who can do the best renovation. Bethany wants bragging rights, but she needs a crew and the only member of her brother's construction team willing to jump ship is Wes Daniels, the new guy in town. His Texas drawl and handsome face got under Bethany's skin on day one, and the last thing she needs is some cocky young cowboy in her way.

As the race to renovate heats up, Wes and Bethany are forced into close quarters, trading barbs and biting banter as they remodel the ugliest house on the block. It's a labor of love, hate, and everything in between, and soon sparks are flying. But Bethany's perfectly structured life is one kiss away from going up in smoke and she knows falling for a guy like Wes would be a flipping disaster.

— It should first be noted that in the three books of this series, I could not and cannot understand why Bethany’s brother was such a monumental dick. He was just...he was a dick. His marriage was awful. How long was his wife pregnant without him knowing???? I digress. This continued to be cute, Bethany was a legit heroine as far as those rom-com things go, Wes was very Texas and that got a little over the top, but they had sex in a bed like normal people so that helped. Oh, except that one time on the construction site. Whatever, this book was cute. This whole series was cute, really, and I was a big fan of the happy little wrap-everything-up with a bow ending.

Romance That Happens In Point Two Seconds Is...Unbelievable

Too Hot to Handle by Tessa Bailey

The road trip was definitely a bad idea. Having already flambéed her culinary career beyond recognition, Rita Clarkson is now stranded in God-Knows-Where, New Mexico, with a busted-ass car and her three temperamental siblings, who she hasn't seen in years. When rescue shows up---six-feet-plus of hot, charming sex on a motorcycle---Rita's pretty certain she's gone from the frying pan right into the fire . . . Jasper Ellis has a bad boy reputation in this town, and he loathes it. The moment he sees Rita, though, Jasper knows he's about to be sorely tempted. There's something real between them. Something raw. And Jasper has only a few days to show Rita that he isn't just for tonight---he's forever.

— For as much as I loved the Port Jeff series by my new pal Tessa, this one was...oof. Too much, guys. Too much. Fucking in trucks. Fucking in back offices. The whole book lasted, like, three days. And keep in mind this is coming from someone who has written like two million words about Killian Jones, self-loathing champ 250 years running, but Jasper’s self-loathing was a little over the top. Like, let’s not objectify dudes, but also...I don’t know guys. Maybe the other books in the series are better? I was mostly just annoyed by Rita.

What the Hell Happened at the End of This Book?? Seriously, I Have No Idea

The Queen’s Assassin by Melissa de la Cruz

Caledon Holt is the kingdom's deadliest weapon. No one alive can best him in speed, strength, or brains, which is why he's the Hearthstone Guild's most dangerous member. Cal is also the Queen's Assassin, bound to her by magic and unable to leave her service until the task she's set for him is fulfilled. Shadow of the Honey Glade has been training all her life to join the Guild, hoping that one day she'll become an assassin as feared and revered as Cal. But Shadow's mother and aunts expect her to serve the crown as a lady of the Renovian Court. When a surprise attack brings Shadow and Cal together, they're forced to team up as assassin and apprentice. Even though Shadow's life belongs to the court and Cal's belongs to the queen, they cannot deny their attraction to each other. But now, with war on the horizon and true love at risk, Shadow and Cal will uncover a shocking web of lies that will change their paths forever.

—WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED AT THE END OF THIS BOOK??? I figured out the so-called twist like...two chapters in. Fine, ok, whatever. It’s YA, this is not rocket science and I was interested enough in Cale and Shadow to see how it all played out. Only it didn’t really play out! Because the whole end was just this like four chapter retcon of basically EVERYTHING ELSE THAT HAPPENED and I genuinely could not believe it was happening. It didn’t make sense?!? Like with the plot? Also, spoiler, good thing Shadow and the other king haven’t consummated their marriage yet since she and Cale totally fucked after her wedding? What is YA? Why is Amazon telling me this is a Teacher’s Pick? Why hasn’t my hold come through on the sequel yet so I know what happens next?

Low-Stakes Romance Was Real Boring and All The People Were Boring In It

The Ten Rules for Faking It by Sophie Sullivan

As birthdays go, this year’s for radio producer Everly Dean hit rock-bottom. Worse than the “tonsillectomy birthday.” Worse than the birthday her parents decided to split (the first time). But catching your boyfriend cheating on you with his assistant? Even clichés sting. But this is Everly’s year! She won’t let her anxiety hold her back. She’ll pitch her podcast idea to her boss. There’s just one problem. Her boss, Chris, is very cute. (Of course). Also, he's extremely distant (which means he hates her, right? Or is that the anxiety talking)? And, Stacey the DJ didn’t mute the mic during Everly’s rant about Simon the Snake (syn: Cheating Ex). That’s three problems. Suddenly, people are lining up to date her, Bachelorette-style, fans are voting (Reminder: never leave house again), and her interest in Chris might be a two-way street. It’s a lot for a woman who could gold medal in people-avoidance. She’s going to have to fake it ‘till she makes it to get through all of this. Perhaps she’ll make a list: The Ten Rules for Faking It.

— I am a broken record. Shouting. From the highest hilltop. Just because you think someone is cute when you’re technically not supposed to be dating them does not mean you get to be anything less than nice around them! It’s not cute! And part two, which often goes with part one: rom com dudes have GOT to stop lying or hiding or otherwise avoiding telling people who they really are. It’s a convoluted, passably lazy way of writing and dropping a third-act bomb on the story. Don’t do it. Stop doing it. We’ve moved past the need for hidden identities. Unless he’s, like, a spy or something. Um...this was a weird book. I know Everly had anxiety and that became a PLOT POINT, patent pending, but she was also not super relatable? Which is crazy considering my very real, rather undiagnosed anxiety. Chris was boring. The whole plot, as this title suggests, was very low stakes and no one actually seemed to remember that their jobs were ever on the line? Did Everly and Chris have a conversation before they decided they liked each other? Who can say, really.

Shipped by Angie Hockman

Between taking night classes for her MBA and her demanding day job at a cruise line, marketing manager Henley Evans barely has time for herself, let alone family, friends, or dating. But when she’s shortlisted for the promotion of her dreams, all her sacrifices finally seem worth it. The only problem? Graeme Crawford-Collins, the remote social media manager and the bane of her existence, is also up for the position. Although they’ve never met in person, their epic email battles are the stuff of office legend. Their boss tasks each of them with drafting a proposal on how to boost bookings in the Galápagos—best proposal wins the promotion. There’s just one catch: they have to go on a company cruise to the Galápagos Islands...together. But when the two meet on the ship, Henley is shocked to discover that the real Graeme is nothing like she imagined. As they explore the Islands together, she soon finds the line between loathing and liking thinner than a postcard. With her career dreams in her sights and a growing attraction to the competition, Henley begins questioning her life choices. Because what’s the point of working all the time if you never actually live?

— YOU NEED TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE TO DECIDE YOU LIKE THEM. AUTHORS REALLY REALLY NEED TO LEARN HOW TO BUILD ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS. IF THEY ONLY LIKE EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEY KISS WELL IT’S NOT A GOOD RELATIONSHIP. AND THIS IS COMING FROM ME. Back at it again with the annoying so-called heroine who was just...occasionally real mean to Graem for no reason at all? Also her name was Henley. Which is not a great reason to dislike her, but here we are.

Apparently I Read These Books Out Of Order. Who Knew?

Pride, Prejudice and Other Flavors by Sonali Dev

It is a truth universally acknowledged that only in an overachieving Indian American family can a genius daughter be considered a black sheep.

Dr. Trisha Raje is San Francisco’s most acclaimed neurosurgeon. But that’s not enough for the Rajes, her influential immigrant family who’s achieved power by making its own non-negotiable rules:

· Never trust an outsider

· Never do anything to jeopardize your brother’s political aspirations

· And never, ever, defy your family

Trisha is guilty of breaking all three rules. But now she has a chance to redeem herself. So long as she doesn’t repeat old mistakes.

Up-and-coming chef DJ Caine has known people like Trisha before, people who judge him by his rough beginnings and place pedigree above character. He needs the lucrative job the Rajes offer, but he values his pride too much to indulge Trisha’s arrogance. And then he discovers that she’s the only surgeon who can save his sister’s life.

As the two clash, their assumptions crumble like the spun sugar on one of DJ’s stunning desserts. But before a future can be savored there’s a past to be reckoned with...

A family trying to build home in a new land.

A man who has never felt at home anywhere.

And a choice to be made between the two.

— Surprise, apparently this was the first book in the series. I did not know. It didn’t affect my enjoyment of the Persuasion version in this same ‘verse, which is also strange because I liked the Persuasion one way better. There was a lot of medical in this. And not super uplifting medical, either. This was like...oh the Jane character (I guess???) has cancer and either she’s going to go blind after having a surgery (also she was an artist, so you see how this was a problem) or she’s just going to decide to die. Wait, what? That came out of left field, really. Also DJ and Trisha were not nice to each other. Like, I know this is Pride and Prejudice so there has to be some of that at the start, but it wasn’t like Trisha ever really went through the Darcy-required time at Pemberly. She just decided she liked DJ and told him and it was as awkward as Jane Austen intended it, but then we got more medical and everything was cool. It felt very rushed and shoehorned into a modern setting and the Persuasion one was better. You can’t have Darcy’s growth without the Pemberly stuff. You just can’t.

In Which I Didn’t Like a Nickname??? Is the World Ending??

Crazy Stupid Bromance by Lyssa Kay Adams

Alexis Carlisle and her cat café, ToeBeans, have shot to fame after she came forward as a victim of a celebrity chef’s sexual harassment. When a new customer approaches to confide in her, the last thing Alexis expects is for the woman to claim they’re sisters. Unsure what to do, Alexis turns to the only man she trusts—her best friend, Noah Logan. Computer genius Noah left his rebellious teenage hacker past behind to become a computer security expert. Now he only uses his old skills for the right cause. But Noah’s got a secret: He’s madly in love with Alexis. When she asks for his help, he wonders if the timing will ever be right to confess his crush. Noah’s pals in The Bromance Book Club are more than willing to share their beloved “manuals” to help him go from bud to boyfriend. But he must decide if telling the truth is worth risking the best friendship he’s ever had.

— If Noah was going to call her Lexa, then her name should have been Alexa and not Alexis. That’s it and that’s all. Also, the story was n u t s. Estranged dads and kidney failure and they got together so fast in this book. Which usually is cool by me, but I really could not get over the nickname and the estranged family was mean to Alexis. Lexa. HER NAME SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALEXA, IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. Also Noah was a former hacker? The estranged family accused him corporate espionage or something? A lot happened in this book, guys. Her name should have been Alexa.

Dumb Brother Was Dumb™ Everyone Else Was Real Cute

The Off Limits Rule by Sarah Adams

I have found rock bottom. It's here, moving in with my older brother because I'm too broke to afford to live on my own. It's okay though, because we've always been close and I think I'm going to have fun living with him again.   That is until I meet Cooper...   Turns out, my brother has very strong opinions on the idea of me dating his best friend and is dead set against it. According to him, Cooper is everything I should stay away from: flirtatious, adventurous, non-committal, and freaking hot. (I added that last part because I feel like you need the whole picture.) My brother is right--I should stay away from Cooper James and his pretty blue eyes. He's the opposite of what I need right now.   Nah--who am I kidding? I'm going for it.

— This was cute, mostly mindless fluff. Hit some trope high points, including, obviously, best friends sister. Only the brother in question was a Neanderthal and I really thought people were going to make out more while said brother was on his business trip. I got it for free off Amazon. Which I think should explain a lot. Like, story-wise. Sorry, free Amazon books. Don’t be insulted.

Prose, Prose, Prose, Please Someone Have a Conversation

Trick by Natalia Jaster

In the Kingdom of Spring, Poet is renowned. He's young and pretty, a lover of men and women. He performs for the court, kisses like a scoundrel, and mocks with a silver tongue. Yet allow him this: It's only the most cunning and manipulative soul who can play the fool. For beyond the castle walls, Poet guards a secret. One the Crown would shackle him for. One that he'll risk everything to protect. Alas, it will take more than clever words to deceive Princess Briar. Convinced that he's juggling lies as well as verse, this righteous nuisance of a girl is determined to expose him. But not all falsehoods are fiendish. Poet's secret is delicate, binding the jester and princess in an unlikely alliance—and kindling a breathless attraction, as alluring as it is forbidden.

— The purplest of prose. Mauve prose. Royal purple prose. Lavender prose. There was so much writing here. So much. Too much, some might say. I say. Actually. If we want to get specific. And that was a shame, really, because when Briar and Poet actually had a conversation, they were interesting to read about. Also, the world building here? Yeeeesh. The so-called, wait for it, FOOL TRADE played a prominent role and that was...super cringe. Super Cringe. That being said, I asked Justin what I should read next and he thought it was funny that a book was just called...

Dare by Natalia Jaster

In the Kingdom of Summer, they say she's wild. Locked in a cage by the sea, Flare dreams of escape. She dreams of a lost world, known only in legends. The island is calling to her. And she won't let anyone keep her from it. Especially not him. They say he's cruel. Jeryn has crossed the ocean for the Trade, to bargain for those fierce, imprisoned creatures that make his skin crawl. By law, they're subjects meant for experimentation. And easy to despise. One girl in particular. But on the cusp of transport, the tide rages. That hidden island awaits. Stranded, the prince and prisoner must fight to survive. In a mysterious rainforest, they must band together...if they don't slay one another first. Or become something more to each other. Something just as dangerous.

— This was Justin’s fault. He could not believe this book was just called Dare. It should have been called “We’re going to weirdly force what is basically slavery into this story and then a prince is going to fall in love with an escaped slave and we’re also going to call that ROMANCE.” y i k e s. Remember that one story that took place over three days? This was the complete opposite. Years! They were shipwrecked for years! They got saved, spoilers, the DAY they started having sex. What are the odds, right?? And then MORE YEARS passed. Multiple years! Five years! They couldn’t actually be together because of that aforementioned slave trade. What the shit, man? Natalia, ya gotta be kidding me with this. The internet claimed Trick was good and a solid follow to reading ACOTAR and that there was this whole verse and it was also good. The internet was wrong.

Nothing Happened, Everything Happened, I...Hated It

Graceling by Kristin Cashore

Kristin Cashore’s bestselling, award-winning fantasy Graceling tells the story of the vulnerable-yet-strong Katsa, a smart, beautiful teenager who lives in a world where selected people are given a Grace, a special talent that can be anything from dancing to swimming. Katsa’s is killing. As the king’s niece, she is forced to use her extreme skills as his thug. Along the way, Katsa must learn to decipher the true nature of her Grace… and how to put it to good use. A thrilling, action-packed fantasy adventure (and steamy romance!) that will resonate deeply with adolescents trying to find their way in the world.

— I can’t believe this was a book. Katsa was so annoying! Like, listen, I know her life was sad. And she was a pawn being used against her will. Blah, blah, blah. Whatever. The tone of the whole book was so strangely formal and Poe was strangely in love with Katsa? Who obviously didn’t want to get married because she was WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR. Or kill people, as the case may be. Only she wanted to make out with Poe? Only ONLY they didn’t even really get together at the end? I could not believe the end of this book. I nearly threw my Kindle across the room. Once again, no apologies for spoilers because do not read this book, but HE WAS BLIND? Katsa had to leave him behind to save his cousin and he just ENDED UP BEING BLIND? AND THEY NEVER GOT TOGETHER REALLY?? What the fuck? Seriously. Steamy romance, my ass. Nothing happened. The villain got defeated in point two seconds. There are other books in this universe? No, thanks.

#book recommendations #book rec #fantasy recommendations #book recs #laura reads books #this was longer than i realized it was going to be #documentation of a very weird book month #but we're almost back on track now because i am LOVING a darker shade of magic #welllp these are books

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elenajohansenreads · 3 years

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Books I Read in 2021

#83 - Shadowmarch, by Tad Williams

Mount TBR: 69/100

Beat the Backlist Bingo: Cover features your favorite color prominently

Rating: 1/5 stars

Well, that was a slog.

So I have a history with this piece of intellectual property. I was introduced to Williams as an author in college (1998) because several of the friends I made my first year were big fantasy nerds--no surprise there--and I was perfectly ready to move on from my high-school-era love of less sophisticated fantasy authors. I borrowed The Dragonbone Chair from one of those friends and off I went.

So in 2001 when news about Williams writing an online serial went around, and I saw the $15 price tag...well, I was a perpetually almost-broke college student still, and sure I spent money on books, but that was a high gateway, because a) I didn't own my own computer yet, I was borrowing friends' or using the computer lab to write papers and such; and b) sure, a chunky fantasy novel might be $7 or $8 in paperback, but it was portable, easy to reread whenever, and nobody had tablets or smartphones or e-readers yet, so an online serial publication was definitely not portable. Even fifteen dollars seemed like too much for the inconvenience of a book I could only read sitting at a computer, and couldn't read all of at once.

I was genuinely angry about this shift away from the paradigm, and much like Williams vowing this serial was online only and would never be published traditionally (which I distinctly remember but don't actually have a source for) I too vowed that I would never read it.

I held out much longer than he did, if my memory of that claim is even true. But I'm wishing now that I hadn't bothered.

This is bad. Not even close to the level of quality I expect from Williams, based on the earlier Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn series, as well as War of the Flowers--which was weird but I enjoyed it--and the Otherland series, which was even weirder and not always good, but yeah, I still enjoyed that too, for the most part.

Who am I supposed to care about in this book? I'm no stranger to multiple protagonists, but there are simply too many here, meaning none of them get the development time they would need to be interesting. I'm trying to wean myself from the complaint that protagonists need to be "likable," because a character can be a jerk and still be interesting, but few of these protagonists are particularly likable either!

1. Barrick is a whiny jerk who folds under pressure and abdicates responsibility to his sister, and then makes a spectacularly bad decision for no reason other than to set up some tension at the end, and his future arc. If it's because he's "mad," bad plot reason, and if it's because he's affected by the more general shadow-madness, well, I guess he could be vulnerable to it like anyone else, but that's pretty flimsy too. 2. Briony is a fairly standard "if only I weren't a woman, people would take me seriously" princess who doesn't fold as much under pressure but is dealt a really raw deal. I'll give her credit, she does legitimately try her best to rule her lands, but she's also kind of a whiny jerk like her brother, too. 3. Quinnitan is...pointless. Sure, I see how the end of her arc in this book echoes those of the Eddon twins, but there is no direct connection between her plot and anyone else's. And I mean that literally, if there's anything that ties her story to any other single part of the book, I simply do not see it, it's buried in lore or foreshadowing that was lost on me amid the sheer weight of nearly 800 pages of plodding narrative. I read all of her scenes constantly wondering why I should care, and the fact that her arc is a very basic harem plot, "I don't want to be a token wife but really what choice do I have?" sort of thing, doesn't help, because on its own it's incredibly unoriginal. 4. Chert is marginally likable, because he's arguably got the most defined personality and most personal growth in the book, as a person of a "little" race who is distinctly not human--I get a mix of gnome and dwarf, with a faint whiff of Podling from The Dark Crystal--and who deals with an unexpected foundling by taking him into his family and trying to make it work, even when that foundling is really a big blank space in the story who still manages to get into trouble. 5. Captain Vansen gets points from me for being the guardsman deep in unrequited love, which is a trope I would absolutely eat up with a spoon. The problem is, the object of that love is a protagonist I don't care for (Briony,) leading me to question what the eff he's thinking that he can even admire her from a distance, let alone be in infatuation/love. And his plot arc is mostly "something goes wrong that's not really has fault but everyone blames him anyway." Which got dull.

Chert and Vansen are most of the reason this book gets a second star*, honestly. Chert's scenes with the Rooftoppers are generally pretty excellent, even if they're mostly tied to a plot arc that I don't care for.

The other thing that's getting me about this is that it feels like a deliberately grim-dark retread of Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn. You've got a castle that's the seat of current government but used to belong to the enemy--the enemy that no one is sure even exists anymore, that lives in a land far enough away to feel distant but also somehow close enough to be threatening, once people believe in them again. That castle is perched upon magically important ruins/caverns, and that enemy has forms of magic/communication that affect humans and can cause or appear symptomatic of madness. There's a race of small likable people who aren't quite dwarves or any other "standard" fantasy race, but are still somehow cute/appealing. There's a crippled prince who's not really well-liked. One of the primary female protagonists is a young woman who laments the limitations of her womanhood under the patriarchal feudal system of the world.

And to someone who's never read either of these series, that list of similarities could mostly read like fairly common fantasy tropes, and I forgive anyone who reads this review and thinks that. But I've read MSaT probably ten times all the way through in the twenty-plus years since I was introduced to it, and I feel like I've just been handed the same story again, with a thick coat of gray paint slathered on it and a few details changed--and those changes are basically always for the worse. No one in this story can be said to be a direct equivalent to Simon, who gets a very clear hero's journey, but if I'm supposed to slot Barrick in as a Simon/Josua mashup (that crippled prince problem) then it takes the entire book to get Barrick out of his comfort zone and on his journey, where Simon got booted from the castle at the end of the first act of the first book.

And that gets at the underlying problem that is at least partially fueling all other problems--this book is clearly just the first act of the larger story, and yes i know! that is what first books do! but this also doesn't have a lot of forward motion on its own, and it doesn't resolve anything aside from the mystery of a single murder at that happens near the beginning. Seriously, all other plot threads get kicked down the road with the "and now they're exiles" theme that the ending has assigned to most of the protagonists. Chert doesn't suffer that fate, but the ending of his story line--also the end of the book itself--is the foundling reasserting that he doesn't know who he is, which is not new information. We've literally not known who he is the whole time, except that we do find out who his mother is, but don't find out how he was taken or why he apparently hasn't aged as much as he should have or what the Qar intended by sending him back "home." The identity of his mother is basically the least important question surrounding him.

I truly feel like I just read a 750-page prologue, and that is not a good feeling.

*Yeah, I told myself this was a two-star book, but by the time I wrote the whole review, it's not and I can't pretend I still believe that. This is a one-star book. This is so bad I don't want to go on with the series, even though it almost has to get better, now that most of our protagonists are out on their journeys. And because it could hardly get worse, right? But this already took up so much of my time (I had to take a week-long break in the middle to binge some romances, as a relief from all this grimdark toil) and even though I've managed to collect secondhand copies of the rest of the series, and they've been sitting on my shelves for a few years waiting for me to invest my energy into them...I'm giving up. Not worth it.

#booklr #book review #tad williams #shadowmarch #book photography #my photos #my reading challenges #mount tbr 2021 #beat the backlist 2021

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1256

surveys by taco-tuesdays

What steps would you take in order to track down a thief? Not too far, honestly. I accept things pretty easily so if I’ve processed that I’ve been robbed, I am most likely to just let it go. I’ll feel like shit, of course, but I would just let it go and scold myself for failing to be attentive.

What is something that one of your family member collects? My mom used to collect printed table napkins from different restaurants, but obivously she hasn’t been able to continue that for the past year and a half. My dad and brother used to collect magazines but both stopped a few years ago.

What would you do if you were able to have lunch with the queen? The journalist in me will probably just ask her questions about her everyday life, how she spends it, what she’s into and what she’s not into these days.

If you got to create a new flavor of ice cream, what would it be? This is a little hard considering there are a lot of small businesses out there already getting creative and quirky with ice cream flavors so it’s just hard to tell if a certain flavor has already been invented or not. One thing I haven’t seen, though, is curry. I’d buy a pint of that in an instant.

What are some questions that you would ask your favorite celebrity? His latest vlog finds. He once shared a video of this smaller content creator, so I’m guessing that’s what he likes doing in his spare time and I’m sure he would have a bunch of other just as interesting recommendations.

If you were able to set up a stand, what would you sell? Street food.

Would you like to go deep sea diving? Why or why not? Yeah. I’m always willing to try daring, not-the-safest-thing-in-the-world activities haha.

What would life be like if you lived on a cloud? The realist in me just wants to say I’d plummet straight to the ground.

What would you find at the top of a magic beanstalk? Idk, my creativity can’t be bothered to be challenged.

What is one food you would not want to have rain down from the sky? Durian. It would hurt and stink like shit.

Which animal's characteristics are similar to your own personality? I don’t really assign sets of personalities to animals.

If you were in a department store, which aisle would you check out first? I personally still go for the toys/video games section first HAHAHA

What are some of your hobbies? They include going to museums, exploring new food and restaurants, traveling to different cities and countries, and reading about history.

You've opened a store that only sells purple items - what do you sell? BTS merch hahahahah duhhhh

What is something important that you've lost, and did you ever find it? I lost a rosary that came straight from the Vatican. No, I never found it again. I feel bad about it not because it’s a religious object, but because it came from my grandma.

Have you ever moved to a new school before? If so, how did it feel? I mean, I had to change schools when I was moving up from high school to college, but I’ve never changed schools within the same chapter of my studies, like in the middle of elementary or high school. But to answer the question, it had been a very liberating and empowering experience. I hated the rules in my Catholic school and there were so many elements from that place that made me hide so much about myself. The fact that I could wear shorts and curse and attend rallies and cut class and make my own class schedules in college felt incredibly freeing and satisfying.

What would've happened if Cinderella never went to the ball? See magic beanstalk question.

If you had one day to do anything at all, what would you choose? I would drive to Tagaytay and find a cozy restaurant and eaaaaatttt awaaaayyyy.

What are a few of your favorite songs? I really really like Singularity by V, Over the Hills by Hayley Williams, and So Far Away by Agust D and Suran.

Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework? All the time. I never wrote down homework.

If you were a witch, what kind of a spell would you cast? On who? I don’t care about casting spells on people. I just want my cravings to show up in the snap of a finger hahaha. Can that be part of a witch’s scope of work? Kjdgfhsdfskjfhs

Do you enjoy autumn leaves or spring flowers more? Why? I wouldn’t know. I experience neither over here.

What is your favorite sport to play? What about watch? Table tennis. Favorite to watch would be either tennis or pro wrestling.

Have you ever gone on a cruise before? To where? Yeah. It was an East Asian cruise so I traveled to Shanghai, Jeju, and Fukuoka.

What would you do if you were invisible for a day? Probably go to the bigger houses in the village and see how fancy they get.

Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled? Typhoon, floods. A lot of places are incredibly prone to flooding, so as long as it’s been raining super hard the chances for a class suspension will get high.

What types of transportation do you think we will see in the future? I dunno. It seems like we’re at that point where everything is in the process of being invented or perfected already.

What were some of your toys you always played with when you were little? I liked kitchen sets and anything with lots of buttons, so like toy telephones or cash registers.

If you were a movie star, what would a day in your life be like? I have no clue apart from the fact that I’m just glad I would assumedly have more than enough money to buy whatever I’m craving whenever I want hahaha.

If you invented a time machine, what year would you like to go to, and why? Realistically I wouldn’t change a thing; but if I had to answer this question I’d go back to 2016 and never ask out Gab a second time, so that the next four years wouldn’t end up being such a waste of my time.

What is your favorite holiday and why? I don’t have one. I’m not a big holiday ~celebrator.

What is something that you like to do while on vacation? Try food I’ve never tried before. The more unconventional or obscure, the better.

If you could meet any fictional character from a book, who would it be? Eh, don’t really have anyone in mind.

What are some common places that people tour when they come to your city? There’s the waterfalls in the upper part of the city – I’m just not sure if it’s still a popular spot but it certainly was when I was a kid. There’s also an art museum that I’m certain is a lot more frequented now.

What's one food that you did not enjoy as a child, but do as an adult? Curry.

How would having no electricity affect your daily routine? I wouldn’t be able to attend work, at least not for the whole day. It would also feel a lot warmer without the electric fan, which would in turn make me cranky.

If you had one wish, what would it be? A renovated room with a dedicated corner for all my merch.

Say someone gives you a magic sweater. What happens when you wear it? Idk.

If you built a new city, how would you convince people to move there? I wouldn’t.

What is one of your favorite movies? Why is it one of your favorites? Two for the Road. It has Audrey Hepburn, it’s a realistic rom-com, and the chemistry between the two leads is superb.

If you were given a certain amount of time to live, would you want to know? Yeah for sure, I would want to know in a heartbeat.

What would you do if you were able to stop time? I don’t know what I would do, but that would be a nice...opportunity, I guess? to experiment with or try out certain decisions and see how well or unwell they would work out to be. So that when time resumes, I’d know better on how to best handle a situation.

Do you think that long distance relationships would be for you? I wouldn’t actively go for it, but I’m not shutting down the possibility either.

Is there a popular social media platform that you don't have an account for? I have one for all the main ones, I think. Even Instagram, I made an account not too long ago to finally join the platform.

How old were you when you found out about Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc? I never knew the Easter Bunny was a thing until I started taking these surveys at like 14. I never really believed in Santa either, and the only figure I was super disappointed to learn that it didn’t exist was the tooth fairy.

Who is your favorite Disney Princess? Rapunzel.

Which freaks you out more - clowns or porcelain dolls? Porcelain dolls. They look more innocent, which somehow makes them creepier.

What was the last mistake that you learned from? Hm, just a minor work thing that would be too complicated to explain here.

Do you prefer "regular pencils" or mechanical ones? Why? Regular. I always break off the tips of mechanical pencils.

What is one little-known music artist you'd recommend? Andi made me listen to The Drums recently and I’ve been loving their sound so far; they would be perfect on a road trip. I’ve only listened to one album, though.

What is your favorite Pixar film? Toy Story!

Who was the last person to send you any sort of message on social media? Angela sent me a video meme.

Where were you on September 11th, 2001? I don’t know...probably already being put to bed. Either way I wasn’t fully conscious yet as I had only been 3 and living on the other side of the planet.

Name your favorite green vegetable. Broccoli, spinach, bell peppers, or asparagus. IDK I love veggies hahahaha

Could you handle a friends with benefits type of situation? Not for me. I’m not even into sex.

Do you prefer using a brush or a comb on your hair? Comb.

What's your favorite flavor of potato chips? SALTED EGG. I’m obsessed; I had like five bags this week alone.

Would you rather build a snowman or a snow fort? Why? I dunno; I’ve never tried making either.

At what age do you believe children should begin having screen time? I’m not too sure at this point, but I do know I don’t plan on being too strict with my kids. I’d let them watch stuff on an iPad from like age 3 or 4, but one thing I would change from how I was raised is putting a limit on their screen time, maybe half an hour to an hour a day.

If you had to give a speech, what would it be on? I’d be down for any topic as long as I was given ample time to research, honestly. I like public speaking.

#survey #surveys

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eurydicum · 5 years

Text

from me to you — r.b [3]

Pairing: Robin Buckley x Popular! Reader

Category: fluff

Summary: Steve and the others invite you to ditch school, but for the first time you decide to be a good angel and stay, but for personal reasons

Word Count: 2k

Author’s Notes: This is best read on the website rather than the mobile app, the app flubs up the formatting of it all.

If you want to be added on the tag list, just let me know! I’m going to have a max of ten people on the list :)

Also, I headcanon Steve to not get his “King Steve” title until later in his high school years (right now you, Robin, and Steve are sophomores), so that explains his ‘prince’ title mentioned in this chapter

Also, just for sake of keeping familar characters in as much as possible, I’m pretending that Jonathan and Robin were good friends in high school (at least for a year)

Tag list: @jdogjdyke , @lettersshapes , @marland56 , @silver-winter-wolf, @bandsandanimefreak , @ihavetwospleens , @retrogarden , @hogwartsrey

—

part two || part four || buckley master list || series master list

“You sure you don’t wanna come along?”

“I’ll stay here, I have a test I need to take in English anyway,” You told Steve with a sad smile, toying with your sleeves nervously. Normally, you wouldn’t oppose to ditching school with the rest of them, but you had other plans for today and it could only be done while they weren’t here.

You were gonna actually talk to Robin today and that was final.

“Alright, have fun being a nerd,” Steve joked before leaving a friendly kiss on your cheek, walking off campus with Carol, Nicole, and Tommy. You watched them hop into the car, the lot of them waving you off before they sped off.

You felt a huge weight lift off your shoulders but suddenly felt hopeful and excited for your potential plan to be executed. You had English first thing with Robin and planned to shoot a message to her asking to hang out during lunch, and if she says ‘no’ … well, your car was still in the parking lot and nothing was stopping you from meeting up at the movies with the others.

The bell rang and you hastily made your way to class, buzzing with nervousness and eagerness. You held your breath as you shuffled past other students toward your locker to collect your notebook and required book. You saw Robin from the corner of your eye and noticed the somewhat curious look about her — especially since you always walked with Steve to English. You shot her a little smile before closing your locker and leaving for English.

You stepped into English and given the lack of assigned seats, you decided upon taking up a spot next to Robin. She noticed you sitting near her, and while she felt no ounce of a complaint, she was curious.

“And what have I done to deserve your presence?” Robin questioned with an arch of the brow and a smirk on her lips. You looked up at her and gave her a cute smile, lounging in your seat.

“By being the coolest kid around,” You said cheekily, referencing the middle school title you once gave her. Robin remembered this fondly and smiled, sitting in her seat in a more chipper mood than earlier.

“Harrington?” The teacher asked aloud, looking around the classroom for the face of the young boy. Of course, he was nowhere to be seen, and the teacher turned her attention toward you now. Her expression alone spoke more clearly than words would.

“He said that he was feeling a bit under the weather this morning,” You smoothly lied, smiling innocently as she narrowed her eyes and inspected your face for any sign of a lie. But of course, having to lie for Steve all the damn time got you into being a better liar.

The teacher nodded, accepting your statement before continuing down the line of listing off students. Robin gave you a curious look and leaned closer to you slightly.

“I’m guessing Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington isn’t actually sick?” Robin questioned with a raised brow, and you shook your head to her question.

“It’s Steve we’re talking about here, he’s never sick,” You snorted lowly as you glanced over the teacher to ensure that she didn’t hear you. Robin snickered lightly at your response, shrugging her shoulders before returning to her proper position.

About mid-way into class, you realized that perhaps writing a note wouldn’t be the best of ideas as she may figure out you were secret admirer way too quickly. Instead, while everyone was silently reading the next chapter of the book. You glanced in her direction and tapped her on the shoulder, immediately catching her gaze as she removed her headphones and paused her music.

“Yeah?” Robin murmured. At this moment, you felt nervous and shy, but your conscience screamed as you to tough it out and just spit out your dumb ask.

“Do you mind if I join you during lunch?” You ask softly, cheeks slightly dusty with blush and your hands playing with one another. Robin, truthfully, was taken aback by this but attempted to not let it show on her face. She felt really enlightened by this, and it made her feel really good. She was pleasantly happy with your request.

“Of course not,” Robin responded with an excited grin. “Meet me by my locker,” She said before taking your book and scribbling her locker number on the front cover. Of course, you didn’t need it, but again she didn’t know that you were her admirer.

Class soon ended, and you felt the impending dread once realizing that lunch couldn’t come soon enough, but it was a 15-minute break period next. Since all your friends were out, you decided upon going into the library and working on the letter that you would be leaving for Robin the next day.

Luckily, the library was relatively empty and you were relieved for this. At least you could write in peace. Words immediately flooded your head the moment that you sat down with parchment. You frantically began jotting down your words so as to not forget them.

This is, what, the third letter now? Anyway, I’ve begun to realize more and more that I have no clue of what you like or any of your favorites.

Perhaps you could leave a little note with all of your favorite things? And maybe leave a note on page 45 of the English book we’re reading (the copy in the library)? And maybe leave it by the end of Monday?

Of course, you don’t have to do this, but I think it’d be a nice little way for me to get to know you a little better this way :)

Pretty much all I know about you is that you know French, Italian, Spanish, and English — which, mind you, is super impressive.; and that you’re in band and soccer. With that alone, it’s really obvious that you’re insanely talented it’s insane oh my God. But anyway, so I’m a little ways away from getting to know you better, you know? Sorry for keeping this brief, but if you decide on leaving a little note then be prepared for a little more than a letter :)

—

“And the princess ended up showing,” Robin remarked with a grin as she stood by her locker, a bright grin on her face the moment that she saw you.

“Princess?” You asked incredulously with a little chuckle. Robin nodded, lowering down to sit on the ground just below her locker.

“Yeah, you’re known as a princess here — right next to Prince Steve,” Robin mentioned, patting the spot down on the floor next to her. You joined her on the floor, looking at her with a curious look.

“Weird. I didn’t know that I was nicknamed,” You huffed, a weird smile about you. Honestly, you thought that only Steve called you ‘princess’. Robin admired you silently for a morsel of a moment before openly questioning you.

“Why’d you ask to waste your lunch time with me of all people?” Robin blurted out, hugging her knees to her chest as she looked to you.

“Waste?” You rhetorically exclaimed, meeting her eyes. “I’d hardly call spending time with you to be a waste,” You firmly state. “You’re actually cool and a much better person to be around than my asshole of friends,” You pointedly said, smiling at Robin sincerely.

“Why continue to hang out with them then?” Robin retorted, flattered that you liked her more than the most popular people of your guys’ year.

“I’ve always been friends with Steve, even after our break up, and I was forcibly introduced to Tommy H. and Carol while we were dating,” You reminisced, but not necessarily fondly. “I just kinda ended up sticking around, and I like Steve too much to just leave him,” You explained softly, smiling a little to yourself as you spoke of him. Robin sensed your passion behind you, and how it was held for Steve. She was curious about this.

“Do you still love him?” Robin boldly asked, an intrigued smile upon her lips. She wasn’t one for being insanely gossip-lovey, but you, in particular, intrigued her. You were the only one of the ‘snobs’ that had a legitimate ounce of gold in their heart, and it was clear that you were actively seeking Robin out as some sort of friend. And of course, she wanted to get to know you.

“Of course not,” You exclaimed, looking at her as if she was absolutely insane for asking such an innocent question. “I did at some point, but I just sort of … lost feelings for him. He’s still my best friend, but I don’t harbor anything romantic,” You explained with a sweet smile, leaving Robin with a sense of ease.

“What even happened to you guys? You seemed perfect,” Robin continued, but hastily realized how invasive she seemed. She apologized for it after, and you brushed it off as it was literally no problem.

“I broke up with him after coming to the realization that I liked g-” You hesitated quickly, clearing your throat before switching up your words. “I didn’t like him romantically anymore,” You said with an embarrassed flush, feeling foolish for almost exposing yourself too quickly of your sexuality. Steve was the only one that knew that you like girls, and for now, you wanted to keep it that way.

Robin picked up on this clearly but didn’t comment on your preference of significant others. She felt overjoyed at the thought of herself not being the only one to have an interest in the same gender. In a way, this accidental revelation was comforting.

“Anyhow, enough about me,” You swerved, attempting to pin the conversation on her instead of yourself. “Tell me about yourself, you’re a bit of a mystery,” you chuckled lightly, earning a smile from Robin as well.

“Well for one I’m a connoisseur in tasteful music and movies,”

“I’m hoping ‘tasteful’ includes Ebony and Ivory in there,” You jest with a hopeful grin, and Robin nodded with a smile.

“It’s not my go-to song, but it sure is beautiful,” Robin commented with a smile before beginning to make a list of her favorite songs, and you took a mental note to listen to some of the music you haven’t heard of before.

For the next ten minutes, you two were exchanging so many pieces of songs and good movies to watch. Some you knew, and a lot you didn’t — the same went for Robin. You wanted to perhaps watch some of her favorites with her, but truthfully you were terrified of asking especially since you’ve only just gotten to know each other.

“Hey, Robin-” An unfamiliar voice broke your engagement in one another, your attention drawing to the tall and somewhat awkward standing man before you two. He was staring, agape at the sight of you — even more so the sight of you with Robin.

“Yes, Keith?” Robin asked with a sweet smile, noticing how obviously (and unabashedly) he had been with all his gawking. Keith reluctantly trailed his eyes over to Robin, her brows raised in a manner that screamed ‘tell me what you want now so you can get the hell away’.

“Jonathan, Fagan, and them were asking where you were,” Keith drawled, eyes flickering over to you for another moment. “But I guess you’re busy,” Keith gave an awkward smile to you, which you politely responded with a cute grin.

“You know, we still have thirty minutes left. I don’t want to take up your time with your friends and everything,” You politely intervened, smiling sweetly.

“But ... I also don’t mind joining you, I’d like to meet the others. But if I’m not wanted, which I understand, I’m okay with denial,” You added on, drabbling and frantically sputtering words. Both Keith and Robin shared grins, but for slightly differing reasons. Robin was pleased that you were stepping down from the throne to actually be a not-so-haughty human, and Keith was pleased that a cute and popular girl wanted to talk to them all.

“No yeah, come with us,” Robin responded, standing up from her spot before hoisting you up alongside her. She smiled and draped her arm around you for a moment, giving you a light side hug.

“It’s time for you to meet the people, princess,”

#robin buckley #robin stranger things #robin buckley x reader #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things imagines

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all-hail-the-witcher · 4 years

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every book i had to read for english and why i didn't like any of them

i woke up thinking about this and decided to make this post. for context, i went to public school and was on the honors/ap track for english. i am a firm believer that english teachers ruin books for their students inadvertently. this is my experience:

6th grade language arts

we read three books during 6th grade, bridge to terabithia, the cay, and where the red fern grows. and i had to read a wrinkle in time over the summer which i didn't understand like at all so I'm just gonna skip that one honors english was not a thing until 8th grade where i went to middle school so this was a regular english class and i hated it. it was also a double period class for some reason, so i had an hour and a half of language arts every day.

it took us half the year to read bridge to terabithia. i am not kidding. that book is like maybe 100 pages and it took us a good 4-5 months. this is because our teacher stopped us every time we got to a pice of figurative language and made us analyze it. every. single. piece. i got so bored that i read ahead and then got in trouble for reading ahead. needless to say, i absolutely detested bridge to terabithia and would not touch it to this day if my life depended on it.

after bridge to terabithia we read the cay. this took us the rest of the year. the cay is a relatively short book as well so i got bored with this one quickly as well. i really dont remember much about the discussions, but i remember a long one about how the cover was “inaccurate,” which, yes, it was but i dont know if a bunch of 11 and 12 year olds need to spend a week debating that. i think i hated it mostly because, again, we read it for 5 months.

the last three weeks of the school year, our teacher gave us a book and said “here read this before school ends because we have to read three books a year and we only read 2″ (for context, the other language arts class had read about 5-7 books that year and found it insane that we were “still reading bridge to terabithia”) so i read where the red fern grows. all in all it wasn't a bad book, i did kind of enjoy it, but since i was rushed reading it on top of all my other homework and because it was definitely ahead of my reading comprehension level, it wasn't my favorite.

7th grade language arts

now, a bit of a disclaimer here, this was the year that i was in language arts with the guy i had a crush on and one of my close friends at the time. so, i didn't really pay that much attention to begin with. we read quite a few books in this class, but I'm not sure if i remember all of them. again, this was a double period.

i think the first book we read was freak the mighty. i remember not liking this book because i felt like i was missing something. there was definitely some kind of metaphor or something in there that i was supposed to get but because i was literally twelve i didn't get it and i didn't find the meaning in it. theres nothing more frustrating than reading a book that you dont understand.

after that I'm pretty sure we read the wave. it was explained to us that the wave is supposed to symbolize how the n*zis came to power and all that stuff, and while we all knew this, i dont think we really Understood it. (probably because we were 12). we all kinda saw it as a joke and thought it was funny. i think that if i read it now i would be like. “well shit this is really interesting” but 12 year old me wanted to make fun of it with the rest of my class.

i think we read seed folks next. this was another book that just went over all of our heads. its about how a garden changes a whole bunch of peoples lives which is like, super interesting. but none of us got it and were like “lol this is stupid” so much so that we actually stopped reading it. like my teacher stopped having us read it.

I'm fairly certain the last book we read was the miracle worker. a lot of us had had to read parts of it before that class so we were all kinda familiar with it already. i vaguely remember some kind of obnoxious class joke about the book that was probably rude. i remember finding it interesting, but there were so many activities we did about the book that i lost interest.

8th grade honors reading

this class was A Trip. i liked the teacher, but she was a little out there. its unclear whether she got fired or just didn't come back after that year. i had a lot of fun in her class but it was usually because we all bonded over hating the assigned reading.

i dont remember what order we read the books in and i dont remember if this was all of them, but to the best of my recollection this is what we read

we definitely read romeo and juliet. by the time you're in 8th grade, everyone knows the story of romeo and juliet, so it wasn't like that suspenseful or a surprise or anything. but we had to act the reading out. yes we had to act out romeo and juliet. with burger king crowns. and wrapping paper swords. clearly the teacher was trying to have fun with us, and it was fun fun for awhile but it got old. especially when you got participation points taken off your grade if you didn't read for once of the characters (which is massively unfair because not everyone wants to get up in front of a class in a paper crown holding a wrapping paper tube and read in old english when you're 13 but whatever).

we also definitely read animal farm. it was another book that went right over our heads (or, mine at least). i didn't actually really understand it until i had to read the communist manifesto for ap euro senior year. and our teacher talked in a bad russain accent the entire time? i could barely keep the characters straight, let alone analyze the underlying message and all that. now i might actually like it since I'm a history major and have a decent background on the russian revolution, but at 13? no thanks.

the one book that everyone hated (including the teacher herself) was farewell to manzanar. it was a memoir about a young girl growing up in the japanese internment camps and looking back on her life and stuff like that. the story itself was very interesting and we all learned a lot from it. but the person who wrote it did not know how to write. it was confusing, some chapters made no sense, and none of us generally knew what was going on. we had to finish the book because we were the honors class, but the regular class got to stop after chapter 6.

i think we only read 4 books that year and the fourth one was the outsiders. this was one of two books that i actually liked the entirely of my public school education. i kinda vibed with it when we were reading it and then i vibes with it more once i got to high school and rediscovered it. it was just a good book, pretty solid, good themes, fantastic.

9th grade honors english

i absolutely hated this class. hands down the worst teacher i ever had. she was one of those that should have retired 20 years ago but was still teaching for some reason. and she hated kids. legitimately. that was the first time i got a c and it took my parents a long time to realize that it wasn't because of me, it was because the teacher was absolute shit. the only thing that made that class bearable was the fact that my friend was in there and so was this guy that totally like her so he would flirt with her pretty incessantly and it was Hilarious.

we read so many books that year and i hated all of them. a lot of them were like greek dramas and plays? like we read oedipus rex and julius caesar and antigone. and i hated all of them because the teacher made me hate reading and made it seem like a chore.

by far the worst was the old man and the sea. i hated that book, hemingway was terrible. i struggled to find any kind of meaning in it and connected all of my responses to the bible because my teacher loved it when people did that.

we read inherit the wind and to kill a mockingbird and all quiet on the western front which were the only books i found remotely interesting. but i still hated them because i knew that we would have to do her reading quizzes which were impossible so it was pointless to read the book anyway.

and we also read a raisin in the sun. i dont remember what this was even about except that there was some kind of insurance money involved. but by this point we were all really done with our teachers shit and my one friend legitimately said during class “but, ms. [name] if you put a raisin in the sun, doesn't it just get more raisiny?”

10th grade ap english language and composition (american lit)

i loved this class and the teacher but i hated all the assigned reading because we read it for the ap test. everything you read was in the context of having to find themes and shit to write about on the ap. so i didn't really get any of the books for that reason. i think we only read three and they were the scarlet letter, the crucible, and the great gatsby. i kind wish i paid more attention to gatsby and i think i would like it more now but at the time i detested it. we also had to read grapes of wrath over the summer and i hated that. i wanna read books to read them, not to come into school and write essays on them. also the ending was weird and i hated it.

11th grade honors (british lit)

another bad year of english, not quite as bad as freshman year, but still bad. still hated it. i outlined many fics in that class. the teacher did not like me and i did not like her. she also talked in this weird fake almost british but not quite accent that sometimes still haunts my nightmares. she was also one of those backwards feminists who claims they're a feminist but still was sexist in her favorites and the way that she treated people in the class?? after english i had math and my friend (the same girl who said the thing about raisins freshman year) and some others would complain to our math teacher about our english teacher. math was essentially a support group for english where we would discuss answers to reading checks.

over the summer we read 1984, which, cool concept (esp right now) but i hated knowing that i had to find some kind of deep meaning in it because i was going to have to write an essay on it as soon as i came back to school.

from there i think we read beowulf which was interesting. i dont know if we actually read the whole thing or just excerpts but again, i hated looking for meaning.

we read a tale of two cities which was like the one book i actually wanted to read because i am a huge fan of the shadow hunters book serieses and will and tessa quote that book all the time. i think if i had read it to read it it would have been better but first, dickens is wordy and weird and second i dont really wanna have to search out symbolism while I'm reading because its required.

we read macbeth, which i just didn't like. idk why. i just kinda thought it was stupid. i dont really have an explanation for this one. i think it was because we read it in the old english and that confused me a lot of the time.

and we read jane eyre. the only thing i remember from jane eyre was “pathetic fallacy” which is where the mood of the scene is reflected in the weather. i dont wanna dissect a book like that. and also my teacher referred to the book as “jane” but she said it “jAAYYneeE” which was annoying.

12th grade ap lit

dear god. this class. i had issues with this class. our teacher was something. everyone was afraid of him. e v e r y o n e. he ran detention and didn't know how to match his clothes and wore skinny ties. he had three swell bottles the he would bring with him to school every day. people claimed he used to be in a rock band and that was why his voice was so high pitched and weird. some said his wife left him, others said he had a kid. we were genuinely confused by him. he didn't teach, he yelled at you for doing things wrong without giving any instructions on how he actually wanted it done. he made college out to be some big scary thing where we would all be trampled. but mostly, he was an existentialist.

we had to read song of solomon over the summer. i hated it. i didn't hate it because of the messages and all that stuff, no the book itself was good and toni morrison is a great author. i just hated the fact that there was graphic description of incest, necrophilia, or sex at least once every 5-10 pages. i didn't wanna read that. and it turned me off the book. so when he asked us if we liked the book when the year started i said no and i argued with him about it. and he hated me for the entire year.

next i think we read waiting for godot. which was absolutely terrible. its literally a play where nothing happens. it would have been funny except that i knew i was gonna have to write an essay on it. how do you write an essay on a play where nothing happens? literally all of our discussions about it were about existentialism and it was terrible.

we read the metamorphosis, which everyone hated cause it could have been written in like 4 sentences. and our teacher thought he was So Clever for assigning it to us. he thought it was the biggest joke. and he went on and on about how its about existentialism and blah blah. the book would have been funny had he not only discussed it in regards to existentialism.

i think next was hamlet. i would have like hamlet had we not discussed it only through the lens of existentialism. its a good play, but i hated it because of the way he talked about it. even now, i only like it to make fun of the way he liked it. my friend and i send hamlet memes to each other all the time but only cause they remind us of our teacher.

one flew over the cuckoos nest. the second and final book that i actually liked my entirety of school. i dont know why i liked it, but it was just a good book. our teacher also had some kind of weird cowboy trope thing that he thought mcmurphy fell under which i thought was hilarious. the essay i wrote on that book was the only one he wrote “nice job” on and i still have it somewhere

my friend claims that we also read the stranger. i dont really remember what that book was about except some guy shot some people. there was definitely something in it that i didnt get.

anyway in conclusion required reading ruins books. when i told my creative writing advisor that i out of all the books i read for school i only like the outsiders and one flew over the cuckoos nest she was like “yeah, english teachers really ruin books for students”

#this is a very long post #saph screams #english #books n shit #english teachers are so hit or miss #and even if they're good teachers #that doesn't mean that you'll like the books

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outofthisgxlaxy · 4 years

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GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER.

Can be used to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen!

TAGGED BY: Taken from @whereverthemusetakesme TAGGING: Whoever wants to!

1. FIRST NAME: Cat (will also answer to Corgi or Phantom)

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I like the idea of burgers, but cannot bring myself to eat more than maybe a couple of bites. Something about the texture of the meat makes me want to gag. It might be because I threw up after eating a McDonalds burger in my youth, but I can’t be certain. I also cannot make myself eat ground beef as a result. Ground turkey is fine! I can eat that no problem. But ground beef is like my kryptonite.

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: Eyes, for sure. Especially blue eyes. Um... I guess smiles, too? And idk for the last one.

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: Dumplings, specifically the recipe my little sister uses. She makes the best dumplings.

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: Ground beef, as seen above. As a kid I convinced myself I hated peanut butter, too, but I actually don’t mind it. I also really can’t stand gravy. Too many incidents as a child of mistaking gravy for ranch when all I wanted was ranch sauce.

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: Eating buttered popcorn dipped in nutella with a nice sprinkling of salt on the popcorn. It’s so bad for me but it tastes so good.

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: Usually a tee shirt and pajama pants.

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: Serious.

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: If I could go back in time, I for sure would change how I handled myself in middle school. I was the awkward quiet girl and was more of a crybaby than I care to admit. If I’d learned sooner to just not react to people trying to get a reaction from me, I’d have had a much easier time of things. But then I don’t think I would be as close to my little sister as I am, and we’ve always been really close, so... I dunno.

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: With the right people, absolutely. You have to be someone I’m really close to, like a really good friend, a close family member, or say... my boyfriend.

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: There’s a lot, honestly. If I had to pick just one, though, it would be Howl’s Moving Castle.

12. FAVORITE BOOK: The Count of Monte Cristo, oh my goodness. When I was assigned it in my senior year of high school for summer reading, I thought I was going to hate it simply based on the length. We had to read the unabridged version. Once I really got into it, it sunk its claws into me deep and did not let go. The twists, the turns, the characters... it’s all so good. No adaptation is ever going to hold a candle to it for me, and honestly that does make me sad to a degree.

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: A RIVER OTTER!

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]: Tiana/Naveen, Steven/Connie, Ivanova/Marcus, Howl/Sophie, and Ruby/Sapphire.

15. PIE OR CAKE: Cake. However, I do like a good slice of chocolate silk pie.

16. FAVORITE SCENT: Popcorn that’s been freshly made, bonus points if it’s still hot.

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: When I was just entering my teens, I had a massive crush on Elijah Wood. I’m not ashamed to admit that. It was to the point that I named our cat at the time Frodo because the cat had these really striking blue eyes like Elijah Wood. But these days I don’t think I have one.

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii, ever since I saw Lilo & Stitch. I’d love to go back to Britain again someday in the near future (current events in our world providing the chance to), um... I feel like there’s other places I’ve wanted to travel to. But I’m not thinking of them.

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: Total introvert.

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: Yeah... I think I kind of do. If you come into the room when I’m really invested in something I’m doing and I don’t hear you, and you speak out of nowhere, I will jump. I once saw a guy doing some gardening outside a window of an apartment I was at while I was doing something, thought it was some guy trying to break in, and legitimately made this noise. I can still hear it in my head. But I did calm down when I realized it was just a gardener.

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: iPhone

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: I have ever since I was really little, all thanks to my big brother. As a really young child, my favorite games were Yoshi’s Story, Diddy Kong Racing, Spyro, and Pokemon. Pokemon still has its claws in me to this day, as does Animal Crossing which I didn’t get into until I was a little older. I tend to stick to cutesy looking games, but now and then you’ll find a total oddball in my gaming library like No More Heroes or Layers of Fear.

23. DREAM JOB: It used to be literally anything at Disney World, but... I’ve since realized that’s a dream probably way too far out of my reach. So these days, I don’t really have one.

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: I’d for sure use some of it to make it so my boyfriend and I can be together reasonably. Maybe find a nice house for us to stay in. Nothing too big but nothing too small. Maybe get a corgi? Otherwise... I’d probably follow Greg’s example and use the money to help people closest to me rather than spending super large quantities on myself.

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: Okay, so... I have a very irrational hatred for the Pokemon Entei. And I say it’s irrational because it developed when I was a child because it was the literal one thing keeping me from catching Ho-Oh in Crystal. I’m pretty sure it took me a stupid long time to finally be able to catch it, and when I did catch it I stuck it in a box and never looked back.

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: Technically 101 Dalmatians. That fandom is... cursed. I only say technically because I do enjoy 101 Dalmatian Street. I just don’t participate in the fandom that much.

#ooc #about the mun #DO NOT REBLOG

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thechocoboos · 5 years

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Chocobros + Ravus as Students

here are some headcanons--i’ve been working on them for a bit. enjoy!

Noctis

Bored. Bored bored. He is very bored, all the time

Has no fear of being late to class, so he leisurely strolls to class with his mind on other things

Or at least, he pretends not to

In saying that, he is never late. No one knows how.

In reality, he’s used warping multiple times to go in through the windows (only a few students see it, but no one ever believes them)

Ignis once caught sight of Noctis hanging off a window outside his class, begging him to open the window. He didn’t.

Procrastinates like fuckin crazy

If there was an olympic sport for it, he would probs get a gold medal unless he decided to do it later ofc

He’s that bastard who barely studies but does just fuckin fine

His favorite class is actually language arts, surprisingly

He enjoys analyzing literature and whatnot, although he absolutely hates writing essays for it

Contrary to what one might think, he doesn’t sleep in class. He wants to, but he doesnt

Still, that doesn’t mean he pays attention

He zones out a lot

Teachers try to pick on him to speak when they think he doesn’t know the answer, but he always gets it right (once again, no one knows how)

Doodles out of boredom in the margins of his notes

I mentioned that he doesn’t sleep during class, but he does sleep during lunch and guided study type of periods

You can often find him the library

He likes to sneak in naps between shelves

Sometimes you can catch sight of him lounging somewhere on a bench, an open book resting over his eyes

Prompto

He tries oh my lord

He tries SO HARD

He studies like crazy to the best of his abilities, he raises his hand when he can in class (despite the massive anxiety it causes), HE JUST TRIES SO HARD OH MY GOD

But he still doesn’t always do so hot

He’s the student who studies for 3 hours each night leading up to an exam and still gets a 63

He cries every time

Is fueled by caffeine and pure anxiety

He, too, doodles in the corners of his notes and zones out sometimes

Despite his poor test grades, Prom is actually really smart

He just has really, really bad testing anxiety

Pop quizzes make him cry

Tries to keep a planner for classes but forgets to write in them

He makes lists of the things he has to do for hw on the back of his hand

Teachers like him a lot, they see the spark of curiosity in his eyes and the eagerness in how he raises his hand and are happy to see his genuine curiosity (at least, in the classes he likes)

Speaking of classes

He hates math. It’s boring, doesn’t make sense, and makes his head hurt

However, he does like science

He loves learning how things work and he always has the most specific, odd questions for his science teachers

LOVES his art classes

He sometimes tries to take more than one art class a semester but it usually doesnt fit into his schedules

He’s not great at 2D art in them, but he outshines everything in photography

After his photography class, his 3D sculpting class is his fave

He likes to mold things with his hands and create something 3D, despite the fact that they don’t always come out great

Overall, he does his best as a student (for the most part)

Ignis

Every teacher loves him, every teacher wants him, every student wants to be him…

He aces every test and quiz, gets 100s on almost everything, and hoo boi does he look good while he does it

His handwriting his immaculate, his notes are comprehensive, his questions are applicable...my god he is an absolute dream student

Everything he does seems like it takes no effort, but no one knows how much he really studies…

In reality, he spends every single waking moment working for either Noctis or school

He’s always studying, always working on practice problems or other assignments, and always putting in an absolute metric fuckton of effort

He’s insanely good with math and science (especially math)

His favorite class is math, purely based on the fact that every question has a single right answer derived from a methodical process

His least favorite is actually language arts

He hates sitting in a seat and having to decide an author’s meaning and symbolism, part of him thinks it’s incredibly tedious and stupid, despite the fact that the other part of him understands the critical thinking aspect of it

Everyone always fights to have him in their groups for projects and he usually gets at least three students a day begging him to tutor them

His answer is almost always no

He’s willing to help out here and there if someone has a question, but he simply doesn’t have the time to tutor anyone

Is a member of student body government and somehow he was dragged into being on the student council (it wasn’t his idea)

Absolutely is the perfect student and nobody knows his secrets

Gladio

Is absolutely underrated as a student

No one realizes how smart he is when they first see him in their class--they think, “hey, big buff guy--probs not that smart…”

Oh how wrong they are

He’s a genius

It only takes a week before other students and teachers to realize it

Confidently raises his hand when he has questions or comments--and god help any teacher who ignores him (they miss out on legitimately good insights)

Favorite classes are language arts and history

He loves reading literature and analyzing it, and goddamn does he LOVE writing essays on literature

He’s the bitch who actually likes assigned readings

He always makes incredibly great theses and amazing points in his essays, his teachers always ask him if they can keep his as examples for future classes

As for history, he likes to know the big WHY--why did this happen? Why did that happen? What does it mean in relation to this?

He has many questions and he is always determined to get answers to them, one way or another

Genuinely doesn’t mind reading textbooks, hell, sometimes he prefers it

Like Noctis, he can frequently be found in the library

Only Gladio is actually there for reading and doing work

Sometimes, he runs into Noctis there and always wakes him up by smacking him with a book or kicking him

He will shush people. Don’t think he won’t.

It pisses people off but when they see it’s Gladio shushing them, they’re too scared to respond

Librarians know him by name and stop in the hallway to talk to him (they love him so much omg)

They even let him eat in the library and talk a little bit provided he’s not a distraction

Overall, he’s a 10/10 student.

Ravus

Doesnt have that many friends

His RBF kind of puts people off--he always looks like he wants to punch everyone in the face

Is quiet and respectful in class, but he NEVER talks or raises his hand (well, he does sometimes) except in the classes he actually likes

Teachers never call on him in the classes he doesn’t like either

When he likes a class, HE FUCKING LIKES A CLASS

And then he’ll never give any other student the time of day to speak--he asks questions out the wazoo or has comments and connections to make

He brings his own lunch (he hates the cafeteria food and lowkey likes having matching meals with Luna)

He’s the kind of student who knows the answer to everything but refuses to actually raise his hand

Instead, he grumpily thinks it and gets annoyed when a student he doesnt like gets it right, too

Lowkey, he thinks something along the lines of “Well, I knew it first”

Study skills??? Don’t know her

He was one of those students who was considered “advanced” or “smart” and understood things quickly when he was younger, but as he got older and classes got harder, he became kind of… average. Never developed proper study skills as a result so he gets angry at school bc of it

Still, he has the desire to learn, it’s just difficult for him (and his pride is too high for him to be okay with asking for help)

If he has a teacher he doesn’t like, though, he won’t even try to study

Talking to teachers scares him sometimes (me too, fam)

Either loves or hates the teachers who are coaches

Loves the cool ones bc of how lax they are, hates the douchey ones that yell at them for not doing better (@ his calculus teacher)

Overall? Probs avg student with avg grades, though he defo excels in his favorite classes

#ffxv #final fantasy xv #final fantasy 15 #ff15 #ffxv ravus #ravus nox fleuret #ffxv noctis #noctis lucis caelum #ffxv gladio #gladio #gladiolus amicitia #ffxv ignis #ignis scientia #ignis #ffxv prompto #prompto argentum #prompto #ravus #i love them

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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years

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Survey #153

“i may be easy - easy to hate, but you’re so fucking easy, easy to break.”

Do you think age matters in friendship? Nah. One of my closest friends is in his 30s. Now of course I believe a parent should monitor a friendship of a minor and adult, but, I still believe friendship is certainly possible. What was the last essay/assignment you wrote about? It was only the rough draft, but I helped Colleen with her assessment of "Female" by Keith Urban. When do you usually put your Christmas decorations up? Usually start in early December. Are you more likely to eat when you’re bored or depressed? When I'm bored, I'd say. When I'm depressed, I'm more keen on sleeping. I've gotten better about not eating when I'm bored, thankfully. Do you have a case/cover for your phone? Describe it. No, I want one tho. Do you take good care of your skin? I've been making a decent effort lately. I HATE the bumps I have on my arms from dry skin, so I've been moisturizing them as well as my face. What was your dream job when you were a kid? Paleontologist. I would still pursue it if I wasn't turned off by a career with loads of travel, nor do I think I have the patience to obtain a PhD. Is there any music you listen to that was influenced by your parents? Oh yeah, Mom especially. She's all about heavy metal, especially the classics. Dad too, but I'd say he's more hard rock. Do you use tampons or pads? Or both? Tampons, pads gross me out afsdjafjw. I started with them though. Is your internet wireless or do you need a cable? Wireless. What is something you’re behind the times on? Ummm idk. Have you ever had a severe allergic reaction? No. What color are your glasses, if applicable? Black. List a great $1 store find: Idk. List a great garage sale find: *shrugs* Who is one YouTuber you would like to meet? m a r k Do you have your own website? I have my own photography one. Do you like candy corn? Omg demons stay back. Were you happy as a kid? Yep. What is your favorite Queen song? If your answer isn't "Bohemian Rhapsody," I don't want you in my life. Who was the last person you blocked on social media? Why? Colleen, 'cuz I was kicking her out of my life and know that woman too well that she would try sending me a novel of hate, and I wasn't having it. Turns out she shared our drama over Facebook afterwards to make me the bad guy, and I still have trouble believing I forgave something that petty. She apologized for it, eh. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? The old woman my mom had watched. I knew enough about her to know she was a super sweet woman, so I barely held it together in there. She died the very next morning. Could you ever be friends with the person who hurt you most in life? Ha, no. He doesn't deserve my friendship. You never know what you have until you’ve lost it, true or false? Nah. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done? I dunno, possibly something sexual. When was the last time you spoke to someone in a different language? Back in high school when I was doing a German test over the phone. Have you ever successfully broken a bad habit? How about conquered a fear of something? Omg, so I had this habit of when I was thinking deeply or nervous, I would pull my eyebrows out. It got to the point it would sometimes look like I almost had none. Super embarrassing, especially because I did this a lot in school. As for a fear, it was never a big one, but going to see Sara broke my mild fear of flying. I like it now. Have you ever read a whole series of books? Yes. Are you going to walk at your graduation or just pick your diploma up? For when I finish college, I'm probably just picking up my diploma. Have you ever tried to break a Guinness World Record? No. Do you know how to read music? I recall some notes. Do you own any shirts that have a year on it? Ha ha, I got that "I was there" shirt for the Back to the Future date. Do you have any scratches on your cell phone? No. Is your skin tone lighter or darker than your mom’s? Lighter. Have you ever done another person’s make-up? I gave Jason a makeover. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Honestly still hope I have that picture somewhere. Regardless of what happened, that is damn good memory, he hated it so much. Is anyone saved in your phone under a nickname? Sara, Ashley, Nicole, and Mom. When, where, and why did a needle last pierce your skin? 'Bout two weeks back to get my tongue pierced. Who is the youngest gay person you know? Dunno. Have you ever watched an animal being eaten by another animal? Yeah, our old cats with mice 'n such. Do you get along with people who are especially religious? Why/why not? If you don't push it on me, certainly. Respect my theism, I'll respect your whatever. Do you have any interesting pillow cases? No. Are you more afraid of spiders or bees? Well, there's too much variety in this question. I'll fear a wolf spider more than a bumblebee, but a hornet more than daddy long leg. Has your best friend ever seen you naked? No. Do you get mad when your current bf/gf talks about an ex? Not at all. Do you know anybody who was abused? Yes. Would you prefer a baby boy or girl? If I was to have kids, y'know, I don't know. Perhaps a girl, but I know boys are generally easier, and feeling the bond between a mother and her son would be amazing. I'unno. When did you last feel like your privacy was invaded? I'm not sure. Do your parents volunteer anywhere? No. If you were a different religion from your current one, what would it be? Why? Wiccan, because their beliefs (that I know of) are interesting. Have you ever had your phone taken away at school? No. How old were you the first time you dyed your hair? Idk. I think first year of high school; I don't believe dyed hair was allowed in middle. Do you talk the same way you do in person as you do online? For the most part. How would you react if a doctor told you that you were infertile? I'd be like, irrationally happy. I don't want kids, and I have a considerably large fear of being raped and thus get pregnant, so. Do you get along with your best friend’s parents? Her mom's a bitch, and her dad's... different. Have you ever been in a relationship where you didn’t get along with the person’s parents? No. How many people of the opposite sex have you said ‘I love you’ to? One, romantically. Do you put marshmallows in your hot chocolate? No. What is the best thing you can draw? Meerkats are like the only thing I can draw decently without a reference. What band did you see for your first concert? Alice Cooper. Do you think people with legitimate addictions are pathetic, or do you understand them? Oh fuck off. I obviously can't "understand" because I've never endured one, but addictions are serious. Addiction is not a choice, and from meeting so many druggies during my psych hospital visits as well as having a friend who got clean, it's fucking hard. Has anyone you know ever had serious surgery before? Yeah, Mom had kidney cancer. The tumor was bigger than the kidney itself. When was the last time you had butterflies? When Sara was here, we had these few moments where we were just staring at each other smiling and asjdfawjij. Do you think Gatorade tastes refreshing or just gross? I don't like it. Do you own a pet fish? What kind of fish are they? No. Do you have a porch swing? No. How many area codes would you recognize? My own and childhood town's. Who has the best taste in music in your family? Besides myself obviously, Mom. What animal did you last pet or hold? My cat. If you were a different gender, what name would you want to have? Maybe like. Dakota. Probs my favorite unisex name. If you had to have one feature on your body changed to a canine version of said feature, what would you choose? Gimme dem teefs. What product or service do you find ridiculously overpriced? Some fast food, QUALITY MAKEUP, gas, uhhhh. How many people, outside of your immediate family, do you know the birthdays of by heart? Six, or seven if you count my dog. Maybe forgetting some. Shot of whiskey, or a bottle of Smirnoff? The latter, I love Smirnoff's. Have you ever been afraid of being underwater? No. Would you ever scuba dive in shark infested waters if you had the chance? In a cage, sure. Otherwise, no. Sharks are very much villainized, but I respect their capabilities, rare as an attack is. Have you ever hit a parked car with your car? Not yet, boy will I when I learn how to park around others lmao. What band/group have the most lyrics that represent you? Hmmm, not sure. How many times have you been on a plane? Four times that I remember, but I was on one as a baby, too. What do you wish were different about your hair? I wish it was eASIER TO DYE- What’s a personality type that you do not like? Overly talkative is draining for me. I also dislike the kinds of people who aim to make every "conversation" almost exclusively about themselves/leave no room for you to really express your own thoughts. That's not a convo. What’s a personality type that you do like? Deep thinkers. Those open to many possibilities, even if wild. Nature-adoring people and/or ones who feel heavily connected to the earth. Which of your friends is the least like you and in what way? Colleen. My best friend somehow, ha ha. She's extremely straightforward and isn't afraid to hurt feelings if she feels it's important for you to see truth, she gets shit done quick/doesn't procrastinate, she can be quite argumentative, she's completely independent, our religious and some political views are different, our music taste is totally inverted, and I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting. We're a prime example of opposites attract. Love her to death. How about the most like you and in what way? Sara, and I could write a novel here lmao. Separated at birth kinda shit. What’s something you do daily and is this a habit of yours? Sit on the computer, and yeeaah it's just about all I do. What was the last thing to frustrate you and is it still frustrating you now? Hm. Dunno. Probably something like Roman being so intent on lying on the keyboard. What helps you fall asleep? Nothing lol. Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason? Anti-depressants. Learned from my current psychiatrist that taking them only amps up bipolarity symptoms if you have that as well, which I do. Do you like designer bags with the logo stamped all over them? No. Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you? Native American. If you had to choose to have a different accent than the one you have now, what accent would you choose and why? British, 'cuz it's hot. Have you ever missed a flight? Omg yes. O'Hare after visiting Sara was absolutely impossible. It was so. Busy. That and I didn't know what I was doing through half of it. If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do? "The" ex would lose his balls, the others I'd push back. Are you a virgin? P sure no but my story is complicated so aojsdfaow. What is one feature that you don’t like? I'm guessing you mean on myself personally, and that would easily be weight. I'd be relatively fine with myself if that was where I want it to be. What’s the genre of the current song you’re listening to? Metal ballad. What would you do if you were stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean? I don't really know. A part of me says I'd be so hopeless and terrified I'd drown myself. The odds of being found are minuscule. Who is the funniest person you know? Girt. When sitting on the floor, in what position do you normally sit? Kinda with my legs turned to the same side. Do you like being kissed spontaneously or asked? Spontaneously is way less awkward for me. But only if you're pretty sure through my display of comfort that I'm fine with it. Have you ever tried to break someone up? I thought about it out of spite. I considered messaging her over Facebook and telling her what she was in for, and I wished her dead, and I'm not joking. Turns out he broke up with her for the same reason as me, according to Mom being a FB stalker apparently. Are you a bad influence? I am in some areas. Shouldn't be even remotely lazy as me, and you shouldn't illegally download shit. Would you ever get a tattoo? I already have five, and six is probably coming next year with holiday + birthday money. Do you get nervous before going to doctor appointments? Not really, no. The only thing that makes me anxious is having to get weighed lmao. Do you call anyone "baby?" Sara, but more frequently "babygirl." What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? Off the top of my head, I think A Raisin in the Sun. Do you have any close friends that were adopted? No. What time do you usually have a shower? Night. What do you want to do after high school? I immediately went to a community college but dropped out in like a month. My depression was so bad and I just couldn't handle the difficulty, responsibility, and independence leap. Do you know anybody that is pregnant right now? Not off the top of my head. My acquaintance had a baby girl less than a week ago, though.

#survey #quiz #questions #random

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ganymedesclock · 6 years

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What academic subjects could you see the paladins being individually good at I wonder?

Paladins in school! Let’s do this.

It’s worth noting from the get-go that you’re grabbing a pretty educated sample size here. The paladins didn’t go to normal high school, they went to astronaut school. So the ‘average’ here is pretty high.

Pidge

I’d put Pidge down as the most ‘conventionally’ book smart of the paladins. Her memory, intelligence, creativity, and most importantly curiosity have built her a vast knowledge base. At the same time, I don’t think that Pidge necessarily had the best grades of the paladins. Almost every time we see her dealing with school, she has other things going on- either bullying and isolation before the Garrison (s4e2) or her infiltration and hunt for answers (s1e1).

Pidge reads both ADHD and autistic to me- I see her as someone who’s very invested in her personal projects, or once she can connect to a subject- but if she can’t care about it? She gets distracted. In s4e2 she directly interrupts the teacher and the lesson to talk about something she probably knows about because of her father- something she cares about a lot more emotionally that’s unrelated to the lesson.

So in that sense, I think Pidge would test very well- playing to her strengths of memory and cognition- but probably have a very hit or miss record with homework, especially in subjects she doesn’t really like. S4e2 also suggests that Pidge gives up on studying really easily when she’s upset.

Rather than gravitating towards specific classes, which would seldom go in directions that she prefers, it’s more likely that Pidge would prefer personal research about anything that seizes her interest and use classes as a jumping-point for her own personal studies. Just from her interests in old-school video games and her mentions of Tesla and Turing, I’d guess that Pidge’s favorite subject would probably be the specific intersection of technology and history.

Her grades, I think, would be very across the board- even when she has a need to succeed at a given subject for practicality’s sake (wanting to get into the Garrison to be with her family, or needing to stay in the Garrison to find her family) it’s hard to keep up, especially because it’s very hard for Pidge to derail at all from a project she cares about more.

No, I think our straight-A Dean’s List student would be:

Shiro

Here’s the thing about Shiro. He has the charisma, reputation, and self-consciousness of a chronic overachiever. I’ve said before I would be very surprised if Shiro in his teens was not a deeply unhappy stressed person because he had those perfect grades, but he did that because he buckled down and got all of his work done at any cost. He studied, he did his assignments, he took advanced courses, he probably got some concerned talks about stress levels and biting off more than he could chew and sort of nodded politely and said he would take that into account but it took him actually getting out the other side to legitimately chill.

That’s not to say Shiro persevered by diligence alone- I think Shiro’s plenty educated and able to have a good command of that. But I think Shiro had a very troubled relationship with academia in the later grades because he felt- and still, to a degree, feels- this need to live up to a larger than life reputation.

I think the subjects that would speak to Shiro would be ones that could let him get out of the muddle of just grades, grades, grades, and tap into his sense of higher calling, that there’s something worthwhile in what he’s doing. He says in s1e1 that he’s not so interested in the scientific ramifications of what they’re doing, which I’ve always taken as an admission that what drew Shiro to the Garrison was the allure and appeal of open space. The idea of flying, moving free at the final frontier of mankind and the solar wind figuratively in his hair was what called to him.

Hunk

Hunk, I think, would fall into some of the same, but not all of the problems Pidge is. He’s a little more concerned by the implication of the teachers being mad/disappointed in him, at least in s1e1, but he’s seemingly less concerned breaking the rules as much as he’s concerned getting caught, which is an important decision.

I think what he’d have in common with Pidge is not being too attached to subject material- he does the assignments/gets pretty good grades because again, he doesn’t wanna get in trouble, but, his real passion is environments like, if there’s a shop class/practical exams or extracurriculars because Hunk’s a lot less enamored with knowing and studying as he is with doing and making things.

Even then I feel like he’d sulk just a little from time to time because, yes, he knows there’s a rule you can’t use rocket fuel for that, he’s just saying, it’s a stupid rule.

Lance

So Lance... canonically is not beloved of school. I think out of everybody he’d probably have the worst grades, and my personal suspicion is it’s a combination of English not being his first language- his fluency is really good, but he can be observed to switch/mess up words on rare occasions- and ADHD that means even if the errors he does make are super innocuous ones he doesn’t always double check and catch them. And lecture-based anything is kinda hell. I imagine him doing pretty well with the Garrison mostly because Hunk is able to help him with notes and explanations- Hunk is good at putting things into pretty simple terms and has more of an ability to focus.

I don’t think Lance would really have a favorite subject. Gym, probably? He was probably one of those kids who was eternally good at gym class because he has good hand-eye coordination and a lot of energy.

Keith

Okay so for Keith I have a real answer: Probably geography! His interest in the outdoors, maps, environments and their composition would seem to point in that direction.

I think in general Keith probably didn’t get along with school any more than Pidge did, more of a problem with the social environment than the education. I also have to wonder if he was one of those “smart kids” who was able to coast for a long time on good testing skills and then hit a wall where he started struggling and didn’t know how to study, and Shiro stepped in to teach him study habits and how to make that work. (better study habits. not the one that he used in high school.)

Keith’s grades were probably pretty good until Shiro went missing and took a nosedive shortly before dropping out.

Allura

Given Alfor’s level of education and also his level of closeness to his daughter, I wouldn’t be surprised if Alfor actually taught Allura a lot personally. She implies that it was expected of her to be trained in combat since a young age (s1e2) and in s3e3 mentions that she’s been flying the castle for “over half my life” implying she’s had pretty extensive pilot training as well, which would also suggest highly educated, but, probably in a much more personalized one-on-one setting. Her ability to understand pretty rapidly what was going wrong with the castle’s barrier in s1e1 would also suggest engineering knowledge.

I have to wonder if Allura would favor cultural/social studies over STEM, mostly since she does seem to really enjoy talking to people and value diplomacy highly, even if in her vlog she confesses it’s not necessarily always her strong point (“I had to learn to be a diplomat”)

#voltron legendary defender #vld #Pidge #Shiro #Keith #Lance #Hunk #Allura #readmore #bomb9000

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notesbynoah · 6 years

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dangan ronpa: a love letter

today marks the six year anniversary of the release of one of my favorite games of all-time: super dangan ronpa 2. dangan ronpa 2 was released a little over two years after dangan ronpa 1 in japan, and later on in the year of its release, it would receive a massive cult following that can trace its roots back here to tumblr. if you were heavily involved in this dangan ronpa zeitgeist back in late 2012-early 2013, i would wager that you still have some sort of connection with the series. possibly a character with whom you were able to relate, a song that still gets you going when it plays (thank you masafumi takada), or maybe even just a case that you liked. regardless, there is a certain special connection that these particular fans of dangan ronpa have with the series. even now, it is incredibly easy to find posts on tumblr or twitter from people who were into the series in the aforementioned time frame either expressing nostalgia for this time period, or even lamenting how “embarrassing” their behavior in the fanbase at the time may have been. this connection is widely expressed through social media, and it’s easy to find someone in 2018 who resonated with this game to some degree in their prepubescent years. of course, i’m no different.

dangan ronpa as a series will always hold a very special place in my heart. upon getting into dangan ronpa, i had been obsessed with the feel-good japanese teenage story of persona 4. not to undermine the storytelling of persona 4, but the feel-good atmosphere started to feel trite to an edgy 16-year old noah. i felt like i needed something new. this is when my partner at the time introduced me to dangan ronpa through a let’s play on the somethingawful website, which at the time was the only means of experiencing the game in english. my interest was piqued, and i began to read through the let’s play of dangan ronpa 1 that was available.

i was terrified.

the concept of teenagers being locked in against their will and being forced to murder each other legitimately disturbed me as a teenager. however, ever since i was a child i’ve always been fascinated by dark media. instead of fleeing from the concept due to my feelings of terror, i pressed on. to quote leonardo dicaprio’s villainous character in django unchained- “you had my curiosity, now you have my attention.” i ended up becoming obsessed with dangan ronpa. i had the soundtrack, the art book, a plushie, magnets, everything. during my reading of dangan ronpa 1, i also started to teach myself japanese so that i could understand the game for myself. i distinctly recall checking out books on japanese grammar from my high school’s library and reading them during classtime when i should have been working on chemistry assignments (sorry about that, mr. henderson.)

when the announcement came later on that summer in 2013 that dangan ronpa 1 would be officially brought overseas to english audiences, i was absolutely ecstatic. every single day i would check every existing information outlet i could think of for new information regarding the official localization and voice actors. i would check information during my lunch time at school. how would they translate hifumi’s talent? would the same voice actor play mukuro and junko? i had to know everything! around this time, on the backburner, there was dangan ronpa 2. every day through that summer, i would listen to the soundtrack in its entirety, absolutely in love with an experience that i had yet to even go through. while dangan ronpa 2 was in fact translated as a let’s play on the somethingawful website, it was never actually completed, and i believe it only went up to chapter 4. however, when the news came of dangan ronpa 1′s localization, i had high hopes that dangan ronpa 2 would follow suit. as such, i wanted to preserve the experience and ended up not reading through anything else in the let’s play in order to experience it for the first time officially in english. lo and behold, my dreams came true.

in early 2014, dangan ronpa 1 would launch in america as “dangan ronpa: trigger happy havoc.” of course, i had preordered it already and got every single preorder bonus that i could. however, on the same day that dangan ronpa 1 launched, one of the voice actors of dangan ronpa 2 would make a slight mistake and tweet out “check me out in this game that just came out today!”

dangan ronpa 1 was the game that came out that day, and he tweeted out a character that was in dangan ronpa 2. he quickly deleted this tweet. however, my ever-obsessed eyes saw this tweet before the deletion, and i began to celebrate- this meant that dangan ronpa 2 recording in english had finished, and that the game was in fact coming to america later on in 2014. never had i been so happy to see someone make a slight mistake.

later on in the year, i would play dangan ronpa 2 for the first time and fall deeply in love with everything about the title. i have many reasons for (still) loving the game, but i will write about those at a later time, as this post is less of an analysis and more of a nostalgic rambling for a time when dangan ronpa games weren’t so easily accessed in america. i still love the series, and a quick glance of my room would prove this- covered in dangan ronpa merch, posters, figures, plushies, pre-order merch, anything you could think of.

i love dangan ronpa. i love masafumi takada’s absolutely stellar soundtrack, i love kodaka’s scenario of aestheticized violence, i love the dissonant pop-art style, and i love the themes of self-acceptance and trust. i will talk about these in great detail in a later post. for now, i hope you at least somewhat enjoy these fanboy ramblings.

peko is best girl.

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ayearofpike · 6 years

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Master of Murder

Pocket Books, 1992 198 pages, 14 chapters + epilogue ISBN 0-671-69059-0 LOC: CPB Box no. 1081 vol. 14 OCLC: 26075926 Released July 28, 1992 (per B&N)

Everybody’s reading the thrilling Silver Lake series by Mack Slate. With the last book due out in a few months, fans are excited to finally find out who killed Ann McGaffer. Only problem is, Slate — that is to say, twelfth-grade nobody Marvin Summer, hiding behind a pen name — has no idea himself, and hasn’t even started writing the book. It’s only as he works to close the distance between himself and his crush, Shelly Quade, that the grand finale starts to make itself clear to him, in ways that unexpectedly and gruesomely parallel his own life.

This might not be my favorite Pike book, but it has certainly had the most influence on me. I’ve always called myself a writer, since a fifth-grade teacher recognized my ability to craft a narrative and pointed out that somebody had to make books and I should think about it. In high school, it was my defining trait, and it wasn’t until I’d almost graduated from college that I realized it didn’t make me special. Everybody has a story, as Marvin finds out, and some of them are even better at telling it in an engaging way. It’s sad, in a way, that I identified with this book so much (like, I literally carried it in my backpack for my entire senior year) and it still took me so long to get that theme.

What I did get was an intense sense of connection with Marvin. Shy loner? Check. Separated parents who didn’t get along? Check. Younger sibling who wanted to be like me? Check. An English teacher hung up on prescriptive strictures of language who quietly cared about her students, and a language teacher who was more interested in building a classroom community than sticking to a scheduled curriculum? Check and double-check. Writing ability revered by peers? Check, even if my work rarely made it past my immediate circle of friends. Subconscious inclusion of issues I was going through in my work, to the point where it got me in trouble with the girl I liked? Well, not directly observable, but I mean, it’s hard to not come off creepy if you’re writing a love story to a girl instead of, like, actually TALKING to her.

I also really enjoyed the way Pike works with language in this book, and honestly, I still do. Modern YA gets a lot more respect, and deservingly so, but a lot of it is written in a direct, almost sparse way. It makes sense, considering how many contemporary authors write in the first person, and most people don’t actually think in metaphors and syllogisms and even (to some degree) descriptive adjectives. Master of Murder kind of goes hog-wild on this, kind of a leap from representational art to impressionist art. And I buy it. As Marvin is our POV character, it makes sense that as a writer he’d put some more florid prose into his observations and understandings of the world. Plus, this style kind of helps to establish him as an unreliable narrator, as we slowly learn how much he actually doesn’t know and, in fact, how much maybe he’s repressed.

That said, this story does have some holes. Let’s jump into the summary and I’ll get there.

We start out with Marvin in his English class, watching Shelly read his most recent book and thinking about their relationship. They’d gone out a handful of times a year before, but it stopped after the death of Harry Paster, another flame of Shelly’s who’d jumped off a cliff into the nearby lake. Marvin figures enough time has passed that he can ask her out again, but first he has to read the short story he’s dashed off for their creative writing assignment. Man, remember when creative writing was an actual COMPONENT of high school English class? And the only reason I got to do it was that I took a creative-writing-focused senior English course. I mean, I get it — public school English is about preparing you to pass the SAT or ACT, not teaching you how to reach and grab an audience. They save that for us, in post-secondary ed, by which time the interest in writing has already been drilled out of kids by making them do repetitive five-paragraph essays. Most of my students still don’t want to write, but I at least try to give them some room in the assignment structure to flex their creative muscles.

But anyway, “The Becoming of Seymour the Frog” is a legitimately good short-short story. It gives us a sense of Marvin’s author voice straight away, which is of course the same as the narrative, and it legitimizes how much Pike uses what modern writers would call excessive description. The teacher grades it right away (what? I give everything two reads, and this teacher is just going to LISTEN one time?) and tells Marvin he might be a writer someday if he learns to control himself. We both (the reader and Marvin, that is) know he’s already there, and Marvin completely discredits this advice. He writes best by giving up control and going into a state of flow, one where he can’t stop writing but also doesn’t necessarily feel that what’s going onto the page is coming from inside his own head. This is important later.

After class, he catches up to Shelly, but their talking is interrupted by the arrival of her current squeeze, Triad Tyler. Triad is a big dumb football jock who wants to buy Marvin’s motorcycle, which Marvin would never dream of selling. Before he can get around to asking her out, she ducks into the bathroom, and Triad complains that it seems like she’s always trying to escape. This is probably important later too. So already in the first 15 pages, Pike has nicely set up the major characters and their interplay with each other.

We jump to speech class, and I call BS. Like, we learn later that Marvin only has four classes as a senior. Why is one of them speech? My high school only required a half-day of seniors, sure, but our classes were English, math, world history, and economics. It turns out this class would be better called “communication skills,” which was required in ninth grade, but I’d still buy that more than speech. The teacher basically has them engage in conversational debate, and this day the topic they choose is Mack Slate’s Silver Lake series. It’s a good framework for sharing Marvin’s story, and showing the corner he’s painted himself into: Ann McGaffer’s body was found naked and tied up with barbed wire floating in Silver Lake, and five books on we’re no closer to figuring out who did it or why. The description grosses me out a iittle bit, but on the heels of the last two super-tropey thrillers, I’m going to choose to believe that Pike is poking fun at the intentional shock attempts of the genre.

After class, Marvin finally successfully asks Shelly out for that night, then goes to his PO box to pick up his fan mail. His little sister is already there, and once again we’re subjected to the jaw-droppingly beautiful small child. It was gross when it was fifteen-year-old Jennifer Wagner, but Ann Summer is ELEVEN and Marvin’s SISTER. Pike, isn’t it possible to describe a female one cares about without making it all about her looks? He does it with Marvin’s mom in a few pages too, when they get home. We get it — girls we care about are hot. Only problem is Marvin’s mom is an alcoholic who almost never leaves the house except to buy more booze. Dad is an alcoholic, too, but he’s not at home and his child support payments are erratic. Good thing there’s a best-selling author living in the house! But Ann’s the only one who knows, and it kills her to not be able to sing her brother’s praises and brag about how great he is.

They go upstairs to Marvin’s room to read his mail, and one of the last letters makes him pause. It has a local postmark, and the letter inside simply says “I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.” It starts to pull the book into more general thriller territory, but before we can think too much about it, the phone rings and it’s Marvin’s editor, asking about Silver Lake Book Six, which is four months overdue. I have some serious questions about the timeline of this series, but we’ll get there in a little bit. Marvin soothes her concerns, then goes to take a walk around the lake, trying to figure out where to start his book but not actually ready to start it before he picks up Shelly.

The date is successful, by most measures. They have dinner, go to a movie, and then stop on a bridge crossing a raging river because Shelly wants to look at the water. They sit down on the edge, Marvin landing on an old and weathered piece of rope, and watch the waters pound away down to their final destination — the lake. Then Shelly invites Marvin back to her house to sit in the hot tub, where they get naked and make out, but she suddenly gets sad and pulls away. I give Marvin props for being respectful and apologetic here rather than trying to force her to continue. Woke in 1992! But as he’s getting ready to leave, he learns the reason she’s sad: Shelly is thinking about Harry, which he expected, but he didn’t expect to learn that she thinks he was murdered. And she wants Marvin’s help to figure it out and clear Harry’s name.

There’s no basis for this belief, but Marvin figures he might as well listen and do some research, seeing as he can’t figure out his own murder mystery. He checks his PO box first, and finds another ominous letter that’s been mailed there directly rather than to his publishing house, so maybe somebody really does know him. He calls his agent (whose name is one letter away from a real literary rep, maybe even Pike’s) to ask about it. This insert, plus the editor whose name was close to the woman in charge of YA at Simon and Schuster at the time, made so many of us so sure that this was as close to autobiographical as Pike had ever gotten. I seriously chased leads from this book to try to figure out more about him, back before he started answering questions on Facebook and there was so much less mystery about it.

So then Marvin goes back over to Shelly’s house to talk about Harry. She has the police report and autopsy report, and Marvin looks them over, along with articles about Harry’s death from newspapers at the time. What it boils down to is Friday night a year before, a night when Marvin had taken Shelly out for her birthday, Harry and Triad were drinking beer together. Triad said that he dropped Harry off at home, and that was the last time anybody saw him until a fisherman found his body in the lake on Monday morning. Marvin starts to question the narrative that Harry jumped, because there are several physical symptoms that indicate maybe he was held captive. He talks to the fisherman and to Harry’s mom, and takes a look at the jacket Harry was wearing, and makes note of definite rope burn marks around the back and under the armpits. So Harry was tied up somewhere for a long time — but where? And how?

Marvin goes home to rest and digest this info, and has a dream about his book series that shows Ann McGaffer hanging from a bridge by a rope around her waist. He’s startled awake by Ann, who says that their dad is breaking things downstairs. Marvin gets down there just in time to watch his dad shove a lamp into the TV, and the resultant cuts to Ann and his mom from the exploding picture tube send Marvin into a fit of rage. He starts to beat the shit out of his own father, and only stops when Ann tells him to, even though the dude is unconscious. Like, holy shit, buried violent tendencies that will make you like your father? So Marvin gets the hell out of the house to give himself some space.

He ends up back at his PO box, even though he knows there couldn’t have been another delivery, but there sure is a letter in it. He follows this back to Shelly’s house, where he finds her making out in the hot tub with Triad. Marvin overhears her say that she was using him to get him to do something, and Triad tells her not to go out with Marvin anymore, to which she readily agrees. So now Marvin is scared, he is heartbroken, and he has unlocked some deep-seated rage that will allow him to strike back. He ends up on the bridge, where he starts to figure out what must have happened a year ago. There’s a rope, there’s a giant oil stain on the bridge right behind it, and there’s a dead boy with rope burns on his jacket who was maybe hanging from it rather than being tied up. Marvin figures that Harry was jealous of his relationship with Shelly and decided to stage a little motorcycle accident, but accidentally slipped off the bridge and ended up hanging himself, slowly suffocating to death until the rope broke and he washed down to the lake.

And it occurs to Marvin that this would be a perfect way to get back at Triad.

After a misadventure with two girls in a bookstore who accuse him of trying to pick them up by pretending to be Mack Slate, Marvin buys a new car and a bunch of motorcycle-dropping gear at Sears, then takes the bike to Triad’s house to sell it to him. Marvin says that he left the helmet in a motel in the town across the river, and that the manager said he was going to throw it out if Triad didn’t pick it up tonight. Then he hikes to the car, which he’s had delivered around the block, and goes to stake out the bridge. While he’s waiting, he starts to think about the parallels between his own series and how Harry died. And we learn that the first Silver Lake book only came out after Harry’s death — in fact, that Marvin didn’t start writing it until then.

So this is my timing issue. Master of Murder does have some gaping inconsistencies, I’m not gonna lie. There’s the variable height of the bridge over the river: it’s 150 feet when Marvin and Shelly stop on their date, and maybe 60 when they have the final showdown two nights later. Also, later apparently Shelly knows details of a book that Marvin hasn’t even written yet? But this, in my mind, is the biggest problem. We’re supposed to believe that in a year, five books have come out about Ann McGaffer and her loves and hates. We’re also supposed to believe that he’s four months late with book six, and that it takes at least three months for the publisher to turn a story around and get it into bookstores. We also have the information that the fastest Marvin’s ever written a novel is eighteen days. So by that logic, there’s no way he could have finished and submitted Silver Lake Book One before mid-December. So five books have somehow appeared between probably March and let’s say November (they say the fifth one just came out) — five books in seven months — but they’re going to wait another three months to release the sixth? Also, how does an author, even an experienced and acclaimed one, sell a six-book series to his publisher without knowing the beats and especially the ending? There are too many inconsistencies and timeline impossibilities for me to buy it. If I didn’t know better, I’d say Pike was a new author writing publication fanfiction.

But anyway, Triad races across to the other town. Marvin is too far away to see him, but he recognizes the sound of his motorcycle. He grabs his rope, his knife, his can of oil, and his binoculars, and hustles the probably mile to the bridge to set up his death trap. But as the motorcycle is coming back, he gets his first good look — and sees Shelly on the back. So he drops the rope, but Triad is already braking, stops short of it, and shoves Marvin off the bridge.

So now it’s Marvin hanging from his armpits by a rope under the bridge above a raging river that leads to the lake in his town, and did I mention he’s wearing Harry’s jacket? Shelly’s more annoyed than angry — it turns out she’s expected this from Marvin the whole time. In fact, she DOES know who Mack Slate is, and she’s already read about this scheme in the Silver Lake books. But Marvin doesn’t even remember writing it. She wants to turn Marvin in to the police. But Triad wants to untie the rope and drop him into the river.

And suddenly Marvin knows what actually happened. Harry wasn’t alone on the bridge a year ago. Triad was with him, and shoved Harry just as he shoved Marvin. Shelly doesn’t believe it until Triad knocks her out for trying to stop him killing Marvin too. Marvin manages to get hold of the underside of the bridge just as Triad unties the rope, then he kicks Triad in the face when he leans over to look and see whether Marvin has actually fallen. The semi-conscious wedged body of the football jock gives Marvin a ladder to climb back up onto the bridge, and he stomps out Triad’s bad knee when the dude wakes up and threatens to go after him again. Only the knife falls out of his pocket as he does so, and Shelly picks that moment to come to, and it’s a simple matter for Triad to grab both her and the knife and threaten her death if Marvin doesn’t help him get away.

What’s in it for Marvin, though? The guy who tried to kill him is holding the girl who tried to frame him for a death the guy is responsible for. He gets on his bike, where Triad has courteously left the keys in the ignition, and drives away. I don’t like that he’s left a vulnerable girl at the almost-complete mercy (he can’t stand up) of a confirmed killer. What I like least is that he doesn’t even call the police. But then again, he’s abandoned his new car in the woods near the scene and surely doesn’t want to be implicated if somebody dies. So Marvin drives to a seaside town, rents a house and a computer, and writes an entire book in five days, only stopping to eat and sleep. Of course, within a few pages of the end he has to stop, because he doesn’t actually know how Ann’s best friend, left in the clutches of the boyfriend’s jealous best friend, is going to escape, or whether in fact she does.

Marvin calls his editor and tells her the story is done and he’ll express-overnight it to her. He also asks her to set up a reading from it at his high school that afternoon. More BS? Like, how are they going to allow an author to read from a book that the editor hasn’t even SEEN, let alone put through proofs and galleys? Marvin has to physically print and ship the manuscript — remember, this is 1992 and most people don’t have email yet (and when it would become widespread in a few years, it still had a hyphen). But she does it, and Marvin goes home first to find out that Dad’s in jail and Mom hasn’t touched a drop since. More good news! He takes Ann with him to school, where the entire student body is in stunned disbelief about the identity of Mack Slate, and finally gets some personal acknowledgement from his peers and teachers.

But Shelly doesn’t show up. Neither does Triad. The kids he does ask say neither has been in school all week. Marvin can’t dwell on this, because he has a major book series to finish, but it’s precisely this reason that he hasn’t made it all the way to the end yet. He knows that he needs someone else’s story to finish his own. So he goes back to the lake, and makes his way to the top of the cliff that everyone thought Harry jumped from. As he’s thinking, Shelly shows up with his knife. She tells Marvin that she suspected him of being Mack Slate back when they were dating, and he would tell her stories that had the same voice as Slate’s published work. So she sneaked into Marvin’s room one day and snooped in his computer for proof.

When the Silver Lake books started coming out, she saw the parallels immediately, and figured the only way Marvin could have known so much about how Harry died is if he had killed him. She got Triad, Harry’s best friend, to help her set up a situation where Marvin would implicate himself, not realizing that Triad had always wanted Shelly and been jealous of both of the other guys and didn’t care who hurt if it meant nobody else could have Shelly. That includes Shelly herself: if Triad couldn’t be with her, nobody else would. He didn’t tell Harry that Marvin and Shelly were out together that night, and when Harry realized Shelly was on the back of the motorcycle he did like Marvin and dropped the rope. So Triad pushed him.

Triad obviously has told Shelly all of this, and Marvin figures the only way he would have is if Shelly somehow overpowered him. It’s an interesting twist that she told Triad about using Marvin to get him to figure out Harry’s death and Triad never realized she might use him for the same purpose. (I feel like Shelly has more strength than even the story gives her credit for, seeing as Pike describes all her agency as coming at the hands of her feminine wiles.) Marvin suspects that here, the spot where it all began, is the spot where it has all ended as well, and that the soft soil where he’s sitting is Triad’s final resting place. Shelly doesn’t say as much, but elicits Marvin’s silence before throwing the knife into the lake. But of course Marvin still has a book to finish, and Shelly’s OK with that as she’s apparently the only one who’s figured out the parallels anyway. The book closes with them in Marvin’s car, Shelly driving to Portland so they can get the manuscript on a flight to New York while Marvin writes the last few pages longhand.

I have to admit it: I still really like Master of Murder. Obviously I’m not in high school anymore, so I don’t relate to Marvin the way I used to, but I do connect to his being trapped in his own story and having to listen for others. The book has a lot of holes and inconsistencies in general that either I didn’t notice when I was a teenager or I glossed over in the excitement of having a character I could relate to so well. In particular, the YA publishing description is not without issues, and the ways the industry has changed after the Internet and Columbine and social networks and Trayvon Martin and #MeToo don’t jibe with the already-shoddy impression of how it works that Pike puts on display. The story is consigned to be a relic of its time. But for those of us who were there, who were trying to make our stories heard the way Marvin wanted to, it carries some warm nostalgia. Maybe I only like it so much now because I liked it then, but I’m OK with that.

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cali-holland · 7 years

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Mr. Darcy- Tom Holland One Shot

Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader

Prompt: While undercover at a school in New York, Tom falls for the pretty valedictorian and his partner for an English project.

Word Count: 3070

Masterlist Tom Holland Masterlist

*Gif is not mine*

~~~

“I can’t believe it- I’m literally going back to high school.” Tom muttered angrily before biting into his toast for breakfast.

“Hey, you wanted to play Spider-man.” Harrison said, taking a sip of his tea.

“I know, but I didn’t think Marvel would legitimately send me to an American high school.”

As Harrison went to respond, his phone lit up, “Well, I got to go. Have fun at school, Stanley Osterfield.” He ruffled Tom’s hair playfully before leaving the room to answer his phone. Tom let out another huff of annoyance as he finished his meal. He fixed his hair in the bathroom mirror and grabbed his backpack, before heading out the door to his first day at an American high school.

~~~

Your AP Physics C instructor droned on about how magnetic fields are created as you drifted off into space. Just as your eyes were beginning to shut, the door squeaked open and a brown-haired boy walked in.

“I’m sorry. I got lost.” He said, handing Mr. Smith a pass. The teacher glanced down at him, then peered back up at the teenager.

“Transfer, eh?” Mr. Smith tossed the paper on the desk, “Take a seat in the back, next to Lucas.”

“Okay.” The boy said and began to walk to the back of the classroom. You, along with your classmates, stared at him as he walked; all of you wondering how-how he managed to get into the Bronx School of Science and Engineering at this point of the year. No one new had arrived since freshman year, so why suddenly in your senior year is someone knew arriving? He must be brilliant, in order to have bypassed all the tests and the waiting lists. You had a strange feeling about him. He looked all too familiar; when he passed by you and his brown eyes caught yours, you could’ve sworn you’d seen them before.

Your instructor continued with his lecture, acting as if he wasn’t questioning the arrival of a new student.

~~~

Four classes later, you saw him again. The new kid, Stan if you had heard the rumor properly, was in your physics class as well as your AP Literature and Composition class. This time, however, he wasn’t late, which seemed to please Ms. Hall.

“The AP Literature and Composition test is based upon your ability to analyze pieces of literature.” Ms. Hall spoke as she passed around a yellow sheet of paper with black printing on it, “For this project, you will be reading a classic novel and film a short movie based upon it. I will assign you a partner to work with on this project, as well as a book for it.” She then rattled off names in partners, calling you out last, “Y/N and Stanley, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.” You immediately looked over at the new boy. He simply pulled his beanie down lower and kept his head hidden in his arms.

Class continued as normal with no further discussion about the film project. After class, you went over to Ms. Hall’s desk to ask her about your partner.

“Y/N, are you here to ask why I partnered you with the new student?” She said before you managed to get a word out. You nodded sheepishly, “I did it because you are the valedictorian and my brightest student. I know you will do well on the project and I know that you will also manage to help him get comfortable in this school.”

“Okay. I think it will be fine. And, Ms. Hall, I am not valedictorian yet.”

“You’ve always been so modest. You will be valedictorian-I’m quite sure of it.” She smiled at you, “Have a good afternoon.”

“You too, Ms. Hall.” You replied, exiting the classroom. You headed straight for your locker to drop off your textbooks, so that you could head home.

“Excuse me, do you know where the library is?” You heard someone question. You turned around and were met with the eyes of Stanley.

“It’s on the other side of that building. You just walk down that hallway, through both sets of doors, and you’ll be there.” You explained.

“Right. Thank you.” When he turned to leave, you stopped him.

“You’re Stanley, right? The new student?” You said.

“Yes, that’s me.” He turned back around to face you.

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N, your partner for the English assignment.” You held your hand out for him to shake.

“Stanley Osterfield, but you can call me Stan.” He replied, shaking your hand with a smile.

“What are you off to the library for?”

“Textbooks-and also Pride and Prejudice.”

“If you give me a minute, I’ll walk with you. I need Pride and Prejudice as well.”

“Oh okay.” Stan said, waiting for you as you finished up at your locker.

“I have a copy of it, but I’m afraid my sister took it back to Florida, so I’ll most likely never get it back.”

“So you’ve read it before?” He asked as you both headed down the hallway towards the library.

“Yes, it’s one of my favorites. I’ve always been a fan of classical literature, especially novels from the U.K.”

“Have you ever been?”

“To the U.K.?” You questioned and he nodded, “Never, but I’m hoping to study at University College London next year.”

“UCL? Isn’t it hard to get into?”

“I suppose, but I’m hopeful.”

“Well, you’ll love it there. I’ve been to the U.K. quite a few times and it’s great.”

“Do you have family there?” You asked and Tom laughed with a nod.

“Yes, yes I do.” He responded as he held the library door open for you.

~~~

“So, Stan, how was your first day of school?” Harrison asked when the front door of his shared apartment with Tom opened that afternoon. He had been sitting on the couch, watching TV while eating chips.

“Boring and long.” He stated, dropping his backpack and books off on the dining room table.

“Make any friends?”

“No; besides, I’m only here for a month.” He stole the bag of chips from Harrison on his way to his room.

“What are all the numbers on your hand then?” Harrison called after Tom.

“Homework.” He responded as he shut the door between them. Tom looked down at his hand where the numbers were written. He hadn’t meant to make friends, but he somehow had become acquainted with you on his first day. He didn’t refuse when you offered to give him your number, so that you could communicate for the project. He continued to tell himself that it was for a project and not for any sort of relationship.

~~~

A few weeks later:

“Stan, I’m serious. The project is due next week and we still have to film and edit it. When will you be open?” You questioned as the two of you walked down the school hallway. Tom kept joking around and you could see that he was far from taking this project seriously.

“I can do whenever. I haven’t got any plans this weekend.”

“Ok, so we’ll film at my place tomorrow. And then you are going to study for that physics test.”

“But physics is boring.” He whined as you opened your locker.

“Oh well. You need to pass this test.”

“But it’s so hard. I don’t understand anything.”

“I really have no clue how you got into this school. You don’t know a thing about science at all.”

“I know Newton’s three laws.”

“Stan, everyone knows that.” You laughed, rolling your eyes at him.

“I’m an idiot, but that’s why I have you-the smartest girl in school- to help me.” He smiled as the bell rang.

“I’ll see you in second period.”

“See you then.” He replied as he took off to make it to class. You sighed as you closed your locker. At least it was a Friday.

~~~

“Are we doing British accents or not?”

“I can work with British.” Tom said, switching into his normal accent, as you two carried on up a small hill, where you’d begin filming.

“You definitely have spent a lot of time in England for your accent to be that good. I don’t know many Americans who can talk like that.” You laughed.

“I’ve had practice. Your turn.”

“Yeah, I think we’re going to stay with normal American accents because my British accent is terrible.” You stated, setting up the camera on a tripod.

“Alright, we’ll do American accents. Might make it less legit.” Tom said, making you shrug.

“I just want to get this over with. Ready, Mr. Darcy?” You asked.

“Always, Miss Bennet.”

“Let’s start it then.” You pressed play on the camera and got into position in front of Tom.

“I couldn’t sleep.” You said.

“Nor I. My aunt-”

“Yes, she was here.”

“How could I ever make amends for such behavior?”

“After what you have done for Lydia and I suspect Jane also, it is I who should be making amends.” Tom stepped closer to you, prepared for Darcy’s speech.

“You must know, surely you must know, it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I’d scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever.” He stepped closer to you once more, “If, however, your feelings have changed, I would have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love… I love… I love you. And I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.” He delivered the lines with such ease and fluidity that you stood frozen, staring into his big brown eyes, completing forgetting about the rest of the world.

“Y/N.” He mumbled, causing you to snap out of your trance.

“Right! My line!”

“Were you distracted?” Tom teased as you went to stop the camera.

“No, what makes you say that?”

“You just kind of zoned out staring at me. Does that mean I’m a good Darcy?” He asked and you playfully rolled your eyes.

“Let’s run it again.”

“Can you handle that?”

“I’m fine. I just forgot my line. That’s all.”

You ran through the scene a few more times and each time you were amazed by Tom. As you were packing up you camera, your stomach growled at you.

“Are you hungry? We can go get something to eat.” Tom asked, putting on his sunglasses, despite it being overcast.

“Sure. Where do you want to go?”

“I know this amazing taco place not too far from here.”

“Sounds good to me.” You shrugged, zipping up your camera bag. Tom took your hand, leading you through the park to the taco place, which turned out to be a taco truck.

“When you said amazing, I was thinking fancy restaurant.” You laughed, taking a bite of your taco.

“Is this not fancy?” Tom asked, accidentally slipping into his British accent.

“I still can’t believe you can speak with a good British accent.” You stated.

“I’ll have to take you there someday.”

“Take me where?”

“England.”

“I can’t afford a spontaneous trip to England, Stan.”

“True, because you’ll be going there next year.”

“I haven’t gotten my acceptance letter yet. I’m starting to get worried.”

“If you don’t get in to UCL, that’s okay. You’ve got a handful of other brilliant colleges waiting for you.”

“I know, but UCL has always been my dream.”

“You’ll be fine. I believe in you.” He encouraged as your phone went off.

“Sorry, Stan, I have to go. My mom wants me home.” You stated, standing up to leave

“I’ll walk you home.” He replied, following your actions. Tom walked beside you the entire walk home as you two continued your chat.

“Well, this is me.” You said, “Thank you fro tonight, Stan. I had fun.”

“Me too.” He replied. You both awkwardly stood there for a moment, waiting for the other to make a move. You turned towards the door.

“I should go.”

“Wait.” He called out and you turned back around to him. “I really like you, Y/N.”

“I like you too, Stan.”

“No,” he said, getting closer to you, “I really like you.” He repeated, leaning in to kiss you.

~~~

“How was filming?” Your sister asked you when you walked in the door.

“It was great.” You smiled, “We got everything done.”

“Seems like something more happened.” She said.

“Nothing happened. What are you watching?” You asked, looking at the TV.

“Captain America: Civil War.”

“Is Thor in it?” You asked. You’re not one to be big on superheroes, but you did have a soft spot for the God of thunder.

“No, but Spider-man and Black Panther are in it.”

“I didn’t think Spider-man was an Avenger.”

“It’s a long story. He’s about to pop up, wanna watch?”

“For a few, but I’ve got chores.” You said, sitting beside her on the couch as she played it. “Queens” was shown in big, bold letters as a song began to play.

“How was school today?” A woman off-screen asked as the camera focused on the back of a teenage boy.

“Okay. This crazy car parked outside-” he cut himself short as he saw whatever was behind the camera. You didn’t care about the plot-you cared about the character.

“Stan?”

“What?” Your sister asked.

“That’s Stan.” You said in disbelief.

“Stan? Stan who?”

“Stanley Osterfield. He’s new to my school and we’re partners for an English project.”

“That’s Tom Holland- not Stanley Osterfield.”

“They look the same and speak the same.” You pulled out your phone and searched up the unknown actor. “I don’t believe this.”

“What?”

“They are literally the same person. He’s faking it. He’s British and he’s 20.”

“Hey, Y/N, look what came today?” Your mom said, showing you an envelope with the letters UCL in bold.

“It came!” You shrieked, discarding your phone to grab the letter. You opened it with shaking hands and began to read it.

“I got in! I got in! UCL accepted me!” You exclaimed eagerly.

~~~

“Hey, Y/N.” Tom said Monday morning when he stopped by your locker, following his routine. You stayed silent, deciding to ignore him.

“I heard you got into UCL. Congratulations, I knew you could do it.”

“Thanks.” You said flatly, slamming your locker shut and beginning to walk away.

“Did I do something wrong?” He asked, chasing after you. When you remained silent, he questioned you more, “Is this about Saturday?”

“What are you doing here?” You replied, halting and turning to him.

“What do you mean?”

“What are you doing here? At the Bronx School of Science and Engineering? You’re not looking for a career in science or engineering. You’ve already got a career, don’t you, Tom?”

“Y/N, I have no clue what you’re talking ab-”

“I don’t want to hear it. I know you’re not Stanley Osterfield and I know you’re not even American. You’ve been lying to me-all this time.”

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to go this far.”

“This far? You’re the one who kissed me the other night.” You were furious at ho he remained calm.

“I know. I’m really sorry, just please understand I never meant to hurt you. I wasn’t lying to you when I told you how I felt about you. My name and my accent was all I ever lied about. Please, believe me.”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore. I need time. Please, St-Tom, just leave me alone for a little bit.”

“I will, but please just know two things: first, tomorrow, I am going back to London and my time here will be up; and second, I love you and, as cheesy as it is, I never wish to be parted from you. I’ll leave you alone now. Goodbye, Y/N.” Tom walked away in defeat as you stood there trying to compose yourself.

~~~

The next morning, you received a text message from an unknown number, reading: ‘Y/N, you don’t know me, but I am Harrison Osterfield and, as Tom’s best friend, I’ve heard a lot about you. I’ve known Tom for many years and he’s not one to easily fall in love, but, somehow, he fell in love with you quickly. His intentions were originally to witness a New York high school first hand; then that all changed with you, on the very first day. I just wanted you to know that Tom loves everything about you. Our flight to London leaves at 9, but below is our flat address here in New York, in case you wanted to say goodbye to him.’

You sat still for a minute, deciding if you wanted to go see him off or not. Looking over at your bedside table, you saw your UCL acceptance letter sitting on top of Pride and Prejudice.

“How are you holding up, Y/N?” Your mom asked, walking into your room.

“I don’t know what to do. For the first time in my life, I’m utterly clueless. I’m upset that he didn’t tell me the truth, but I think I love him, mom.”

“Elizabeth Bennet gave Mr. Darcy another chance. Maybe Tom is your Mr. Darcy.”

“His flight is leaving soon, but I’ve got school.” You told her.

“Quit making excuses and go. Go find your Darcy.” She said and you smiled, racing out of the house.

You arrived at the complex and breathlessly knocked on the door. After a moment, it opened to a surprised Tom.

“Y/N, what’re you doing here?” He asked.

“I came to stop my Darcy from leaving me.” You said, causing a silly smile to form on his face.

“Your Darcy?”

“If you’ll still accept me as your Elizabeth, that is.”

“Your affections and wishes have changed?”

“Very much so.” You said, taking his hands in yours, “You’re hands are cold.” He laughed in reply.

“Are you two going to continue being nerds or are you going to kiss?”

“That’s Harrison.”

“I know.” You laughed, “And he’s right. We should kiss.”

“Yes we should.” Tom said, before giving you a kiss.

#tom holland #tom holland one shot #tom holland imagine #tom holland x you #tom holland peter parker

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graceivers · 7 years

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Review #31 - Kissing Madeline

Kissing Madeline Author: Lex Martin Genre: Contemporary Romance, Sports Rating: ★★★★ Recommendation: give it a shot; once was enough Summary: After catching her ex-boyfriend cheating on her, Maddie McDermott decides to focus on her career in journalism and newscasting instead of jumping into another relationship. But when her latest assignment involves interviewing Daren Sloan, a popular and upcoming quarterback sensation who also happens to be her next-door neighbor, can she really resist the temptation?

Female Lead: I really liked Maddie for the most part. In the beginning, I was completely in her corner. She’s young, lost the only parent she really had, is working so hard to build a legitimate and serious career and reputation as a journalist/news reporter. And, oh yeah, she caught her ex-boyfriend cheating on her. Despite what seems to be a lot of obstacles in her way, she makes things work. She understands that sacrifices have to be made, that she unfortunately has to cover storylines that are little more than meaningless fluff pieces like the whole football 101 thing she does with Daren. Maddie isn’t adverse to hard work and has patience. Those are excellent qualities.

When it came to her relationship with Daren, though, I was a little less enthusiastic about Maddie’s character. It is absolutely okay for a girl to get wrapped up in a budding relationship with a guy, that’s not my problem. What I had a slight issue with is the fact that Maddie’s relationship with Daren put her career in danger, and yet she took that risk. Do I believe Daren was super hot and sweet and irresistible? Yeah, sure. But Martin established Maddie as someone who took the news and her job super seriously. Her closet is full of business suits, for goodness sake. Everything about this girl screams professional, but then when it came to Daren, all that went away. It was a little disappointing. (That’s also why I classified this as a forbidden romance given that both of them acknowledged that they shouldn’t be in a relationship when he was basically her news story.) Moreover, her reaction to her speculation that Daren might be cheating on her? Part of me feels for her because she’s been burned once. But honestly, the way she acted without even asking Daren for the truth was a little unbelievable to me, especially for a girl who didn’t want anything serious (though she was obviously falling in love with him) and would seemingly have no problem confronting people otherwise. I did love her relationship with Daren, honestly. And thank you, Martin, for having Maddie realize the error in her ways, but those slips of character inconsistency were unfortunate. Male Lead: Daren is pretty sweet for the most part. You can tell that he tries his hardest to be honest and a good person even if he does make mistakes along the way. He does fall into the typical ‘athlete only cares about the game until he meets the one and suddenly life is all about her’ category, but that’s okay. I still enjoyed it and his character for the most part. Daren has walls too and like Maddie, he never intended for their relationship to get so serious, but lo and behold, they fall in love with each other. And yeah, Daren also acts like a ‘typical guy’ when Martin writes things in like him not noticing another girl all over him until it’s too late and not realizing it was Maddie’s birthday. Um… I guess I’ll give him a pass. Those moments didn’t change my overall reaction to his character.

One thing I do have to mention. Let’s be clear here. Daren was dating Clementine their senior year of high school. During that time, he had sex with Veronica. This is cheating. Plain and simple. There was a couple of lines in the book where Daren said that he “never considered it” or that it “never crossed [his] mind” when he told Maddie about how Veronica always accused him of cheating on her. So, first, my confusion is whether Daren is referring to the fact that he would never cheat on someone and/or Veronica or if he’s saying that he never considered himself a cheater. If it’s the first case, fine, that’s great, thank you for being a loyal dude. But if it’s the second case, then he’s just plain delusional and wrong because sorry, but he’s already technically a cheater even if he was a senior in high school. I do believe Daren is not that guy anymore, and it’s evident given that he constantly turns female attention away and only has eyes for Maddie. But… maybe Martin should’ve been clearer during this part because the wording does not sit right with me, which subsequently may affect how I view this character. Plot & Writing: Here’s the thing. I started Kissing Madeline quite a while back. Like I think back in March. I was a little more than a hundred pages in and SUPER into the book for all the sports and Massachusetts references, and thought, hey, I should save this for my lame two-person book club because I think the other girl I read with would enjoy this too. Long story short, this was not added to the lame two-person book club to-read list, so I left it on my shelf for a long time until I finally wanted to get it off my shelf and be done with it. The thing is, when I came back to it, I was far less enthusiastic about it. Why? Maybe because I stepped away from the book and lost the momentum of feelings I originally had for it. Maybe because I had read so many other things between then and now and my perspective on things had changed. Who knows. The point is, had I finished Kissing Madeline then when I first started reading it, the book probably would’ve gotten a higher rating. Alas, I just couldn’t seem to find that original high I had reading those first hundred pages.

I’m from Massachusetts. Born and raised. I LOVE Massachusetts, so obviously I loved that the book was set in my home state and all the references Martin put in there. That being said, if you’re going to write a book set here and reference real life places in Boston, towns in the state, colleges, and the public education system, and everything else that Martin did, lady, you have to be 100% accurate on your information and facts because otherwise, I’m going to be upset. For example, BU and BC are on the B-line of the MBTA/subway system. THE B-LINE, MARTIN. NOT THE D-LINE. We’re not going to Riverside. I don’t know anyone who takes the D-line to the Chestnut Hill station and then walks all the way over to BC when they can just take the B-line, WHICH PASSES ALL OF BU, to its last stop, BOSTON COLLEGE STATION. And then another thing. Clementine and Daren were next-door neighbors growing up. Daren went to Lexington High School, which is consistently one of if not the best public school system in the entire state. Therefore, Clementine also went to Lexington High. Clementine, who is referenced to being student council president in high school and likely very smart on top of the stellar academic education she’s getting in Lexington, committed to BU early action? NOPE. SORRY. People from Lexington High do not commit early action to Boston University. THEY JUST DON’T. BU is basically a safety school for half the students who go through Lexington High. And though a good percentage of students there do actually go to BU, people from Lexington just don’t commit early action there when their high school education is just as difficult if not more so than a lot of colleges, including BU. I know no one is reading this, and I know no one cares, but I care. I CARE A LOT. Okay. End rant.

I liked the overall relationship between Daren and Maddie. I liked that Daren was actually super sweet to her. I liked that Daren cared about her career and wanted the best for her. I liked that Daren made it okay for Maddie to cover sports again after she avoided it after losing her father. I did not, however, like that Maddie’s reaction after she got jealous, but I already talked about that above in her section. But also, I was not a particular fan of how Martin wrapped the story mostly because Maddie’s career suffered while Daren got off with barely a slap on the wrist. I was pleasantly surprised that the major conflict of the book escalated to that proportion and had such repercussions, but the way Martin handled the fallout was not my favorite. It was like Maddie’s career didn’t even matter anymore when it was constantly emphasized in the beginning and an integral part of Maddie’s character. Instead, she’ll just be a happy, pregnant wife for Daren who gets all the glory for being an overpaid athlete. As a woman, as a feminist, yeah, that doesn’t make me feel too great, even if I have a super hot and successful and loving husband like Daren. I mean, Maddie ends up with a YouTube channel and gets to do some segments for ESPN every once in a while? Isn’t that what she was avoiding before? And now suddenly she’s okay with it? I don’t know, man… Doesn’t seem right.

On a similar note, I praise Martin for highlighting the absolutely gross and sexist workplace Maddie worked at and simultaneously curse society for allowing those places to exist in the real world. It was cringeworthy and disgusting what Maddie’s boss, Spencer, made her do—forcing her to interview Daren and wearing what she had to wear and all that. Maddie was seriously brave and completely professional in taking those forced directions when it was obviously an uncomfortable situation. And again, this is absolutely not Martin’s fault for writing it like that because this is unfortunately real stuff that women have to deal with. So props for including such scenes and issues into the book. And given what Brad did to Maddie, which was ABSOLUTELY HORRIFIC, I only wish more could’ve been done about the whole situation and that Maddie would’ve gotten more justice. Secondary Characters & Plots: All of Maddie’s girlfriends were pretty cool. This is the first book I read in the series, so this is my first encounter with Clementine’s character. Her book was already on my to-read list, and I’m still interested in her story, though I personally don’t know how to feel about her history with Daren and the fact that she wrote a best-selling novel about how he cheated on her…

Daren’s football teammates were… not particularly outstanding in any way. They were fine during their scenes, but no one was memorable. And just about everyone that worked with Maddie at that new station was abhorrent. Maybe Roger wasn’t that bad. Nicole was okay for like a moment or two. Everyone else, gross. Favorite Part(s): Daren going to find Maddie after everything blew up in the faces and arriving at her uncle’s house where she was so she could wake up in his arms. Obviously, they still had to talk and work things out, but clearly that was what Maddie needed in that moment and Daren knew that. That was awesome. Final Thoughts: Overall, Kissing Madeline is good. Pretty good leads, pretty good story, sports, set in Massachusetts, good climax. But again, I only gave this four stars because after stepping away from it for about three months, I couldn’t find the original high I got when I first started the book. That and the fact that I wasn’t a huge fan of the way Martin resolved the major conflict of the book, especially in regards to Maddie and her career. But it’s okay. I would still recommend Kissing Madeline. Daren and Maddie’s relationship is too sweet to pass up.

#book: kissing madeline #author: lex martin #genre: contemporary romance #genre: sports #rating: four stars

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