#like i said i was not a gatekeeper but i am considering it now if u ppl do not stop talking about her and acting llike | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

historicity-was-already-taken · 3 months

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Welcome New Followers Post xiv

gonna make this bullet points of Things to Know because deadlines, but hi! welcome!

-this is not a jewish identity or a jumblr blog. i am a jewish person and a holocaust historian, so my content often overlaps with those realms of tumblr

-this is first and foremost a public history blog. public history and public historians do history for the public. we're passionate about transmitting complex historical topics from the academe to the people, and we're in constant (one-sided lmao) conversation with entities such as: film writers and producers, textbook writers, government bodies, journalists, etc regarding the construction of public memory, and the responsibilities that entails

-you don't have to ask if something is ok to reblog. I appreciate the thought, but unless I turn off reblogs or specifically ask people not to engage in certain ways, you're fine, that said:

-I do see and read all tags, replies, and rbs. I consider them public, and I often respond to them as new posts. If you want to engage with me and don't want others to see, then send me an ask which includes the words "please respond privately"

-You can should disagree with me and tell me when you think I'm wrong! Now, I won't lie, years of existing as a young-appearing hyper feminine (i like skirts and bows and sparkly shoes it is what it is) female, Jewish historian have made me defensive and bitey af, and I often misread neutral tones as "coming for me" tones and respond in kind. I apologize for when/if that happens to you, and I assure that, once I realize you're not coming at me in bad faith, I will feel horribly guilty.

-There is a learning curve here. I don't have any desire to gatekeep my blog (it's the opposite tbh), but I do use high level terms which can have multiple meanings in different contexts. I actively try to avoid using impenetrable academic jargon in this space, but sometimes that jargon is the only appropriate phrasing available. In those cases, I urge you to do some research and poke around and then, if you still don't understand what I mean, DM me.

-I am a white, American woman. I am actively anti-racist, and anti-bigotry in general, but there will be times when I do or say something clueless or privileged. If you see that and you have the energy, please tell me! I want this blog to be a welcome place for all,* and I appreciate call-outs as an opportunity for (un)learning.

-Building on that, this is an anti-bigotry space which I'd like people of all demographics and identities to feel comfortable engaging with.* That said, I don't play nice when some random corner of tumblr rolls up in here and barfs their shit all over my posts.

-I am a cringe millennial. I started this blog in 2011, when I was 21, had just finished college, before I'd heard back from any graduate schools, and before I had much resembling a career. I am currently 34. It's fine. But a lot of you are in your teens and 20s and are just starting on your careers, so like, please don't negatively compare yourselves to me or get self-deprecating when/if you want to contact me. We all learn and achieve at different paces and that's ok.

-My book, The Girl Bandits of the Warsaw Ghetto, will be released in Fall 2025. Trust me I will be screaming from the rooftops and you will not miss the announcements lmao.

-If I don't reply to an ask or a DM, it's not because I hate you. There are 800 reasons why I may not reply, and none of them are personal.

and finally

-I am not your Good Leftist Anti-Zionist Jew. I am not here as a rhetorical cudgel for left-wing anti-Semites who seek out Jews with politics similar to mine to then use as a weapon against other Jewish folks. Don't fucking do it.

*That does not mean that everything I post here will make you feel comfortable. History isn't supposed to make you feel comfortable. Sometimes, it can and should make you feel actively uncomfortable, because that discomfort/cognitive dissonance means you're learning (keep your cognitive dissonance temper tantrums tf away from me, tho). It does mean that I, as an individual, want you all to feel that this is a space where you are welcome to learn and ask questions.

i tried to use bullet points to keep this short, and i failed miserably. on brand.

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many-but-one · 1 year

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Hey! Why did I split over something not even THAT traumatic??

I'm here to tell you. :)

So, this particular discussion has come up in our system server before and it's actually something I've wanted to talk about for a long time on Tumblr because I've never actually seen someone talk about this, and I am being hit with a sudden god-like hubris at 3 in the morning, so here we go!

So your question was "Why did I just split? What just happened wasn't even that traumatic. I've been through so much worse in the past, I don't even feel that stressed. What the hell? Am I just making this new part up?" and on and on. The idea that only the most awful and traumatic things are what cause splits in DID (especially later in life, after the childhood trauma window of 7-9ish has ended and especially in adulthood) is actually incredibly false, and I am about to explain why.

Note: This is about traumagenic DID systems, so endogenic systems, please stay off of this post thank you. :) /not mad

Note number two: I do want to get out of the way, that all parts DO split for a reason, there's no parts that exist for no reason (even if the reason doesn't seem relevant to you now, it may have been relevant at the time of the split, OR may have been somehow relevant to your brain even if it doesn't make sense to you now.) So I want to make it really clear that splits do not occur only because of hyperfixations. There typically has to be something going on for a split to occur, and hyperfixation alone will not cut it. Alright, now that I've got that out of the way, let's talk about how DID brains run on patterns.

DID brains run on patterns, like I said. All brains do, actually, but DID brains take it to an nth degree because these patterns that it learns are what help it stay alive in a distressing and traumatic environment during childhood. Our brains are remarkably plastic and they will do whatever is necessary to survive a given situation. It's why something like DID can even exist.

So what kind of patterns do we typically see in brains with DID? Well, the easiest one is that a lot of people with DID have pretty similar alter "types" or "roles." This is just a widespread pattern that you see across a large demographic of systems. It's why terms like "gatekeeper" and "protector" and "caretaker" exist. Because nearly all DID systems have parts that fill those roles, even if those roles aren't filled in the most "traditional" sense. DID is rarely random, every part exists for an express reason, and that reason is almost always symbolic in some way, even if it doesn't seem like it now. Once you start learning trauma memories and WHY parts exist, you very quickly start to see the symbolism and sometimes it is absolutely fucking terrifying, to say the least.

What other patterns are common?

Well, patterns we see in our own system and in other systems are something quite literally called "splitting patterns" which are more common in polyfragmented systems but not exclusive to them. This has various ways of showing itself, and the user @foreverfragmented made a post awhile back that I'm having a really hard time finding, HOWEVER I did screenshot the section about splitting patterns when I first read it, attached below:

Wow that photo ended up bigger than I thought it would be. lol. Anyway. Those are another example of splitting patterns. (Note: in the original post, FF talks about how some of the terms above were coined by them or other systems, so not recognized medically, however I think they were worded perfectly which is why I shared them here.)

Another few examples include alter templates (AKA, splitting the same alter over and over in varying iterations), the same parts going out for the same types of trauma every single time, and why certain alter roles very often have the same "flavor" of personality.

For example, gatekeepers are often considered a bit cold and distant, and can be very analytically minded and rarely react purely on emotion alone. (I feel like the most common gatekeeper Myers-Briggs has gotta be INTJ...that was a joke, lmao.) This is typically for a reason. You have to have a certain mindset and a certain way of handling things to be able to properly manage a system. And this is not to say all gatekeepers are this way, but the pattern of a LOT of gatekeepers being like this is not unnoticed. Our DID specialist could tell pretty early on that our primary gatekeeper (James) was a gatekeeper long before he ever told her he was simply because of how he held himself, how he spoke about others in the system, and how much he despised her for "stepping on his toes"😂 They work together much better now, FYI, but it was rough in the beginning.

An example of alter templates in our system in particular is what we call the "Michaels." They were some of our earliest alters, and our brain was like "hey this guy is working really well, so I'm just gonna keep doing it." And it worked! Then, when trauma shifted to something completely different but in the same vein (CSA) our brain once again attempted to use this "Michael" template. It didn't work quite the same. And so our brain had to figure out these new patterns, which it was fucking desperate to do because we were going through some heinous shit that it could hardly even comprehend. I've learned that basically every blue-eyed white-haired motherfucker in here was a Michael copy at one point, but had elaborated into some other version that suited its job more.

Now, for the example that is going to actually help me explain the answer to the question posed at the very beginning of this post: alters who go out for the same things over and over.

So, depending on splitting tolerance, or whatever you happen to be going through in your childhood, you will likely have various "groups" of alters that handle certain things. If you had a particularly tumultuous childhood with several varying types of traumas, you will probably have several of these groups. And depending on length of trauma time, severity of trauma time, and levels of support during trauma time, these groups may be very large.

For example, if you had a situation like domestic violence (DV) happening in your household, you will have a part or parts dedicated just for DV, and if you also had CSA going on, you will have a separate group of parts (or a single part) who handles only the CSA. Unless your system is quite small and you have alters take multiple types of abuses, this is pretty commonly the case. [Note: want to say this is not subsystems unless these groups are highly separated via either amnesia barriers or inner world (IW) barriers, and have better communication with each other versus the rest of the system. The definition of subsystem gets a little funky, but we're not talking about that. Just wanted to make that clear. You can have groups of alters without them being subsystems.]

"Okay, so yeah, you're right. I have alter groups for [insert various traumas] what does that have to do with me splitting over [insert mundane thing that isn't even really traumatic]?"

Continuing on the "DID brains run on patterns" line of thinking, if your brain has patterns set and understood for the various traumas that you lived through in your childhood, usually up until teen years or adulthood, your brain knows what to do when those traumas occur again. The patterns are set. It's why it's super common for people with DID who experience SA in teen or adult years and don't end up having a split. Unless they have an extremely low splitting tolerance or the situation is extremely unique, the brain will just recycle what it already has. No need to go through the literally massively painful and traumatic experience of splitting again for something it already knows how to handle. This being said, the part that experiences this might end up splitting at a much later date if this trauma is far too difficult for it to handle, this is also common because sometimes it's "easy" to handle the trauma in the moment because they're used to this flavor of trauma but the processing of said trauma afterward can be just as traumatic and can cause a split.

Same if your father was super abusive to your mother, or vise versa, and you happen to have an abusive partner. That pattern is known and comfortable. That's what professionals mean by "DID systems are more likely to be victims of abuse than perpetrators." They return to the comfortable patterns, which, with DID, equals abuse. Things outside of those patterns are dangerous and confusing to navigate and the brain will avoid that at all costs.

However, and this is the answer to the question. What happens when something happens that the brain doesn't recognize in its "pattern database"? I'll give an example.

Say you were very high achieving in school. This is pretty common of systems who were diagnosed in adulthood, so far as I've seen. You likely did really well, had really high marks because your parents expected it of you or were abusive and angry if you didn't constantly constantly succeed in their eyes. This can also reflect in sports, clubs, musical talents, etc. This pattern continues on in adulthood. You push yourself very hard to be high achieving. Whether this be in a college setting, a work setting, etc. You are likely often doing well in those fields pre-system discovery, at least. Post discovery often leads to the "spiraling" phase, which sucks but again that's not what we're discussing.

So, say you have a job. You're hella good at it. You are always receiving praise, you are always getting raises, your reviews are always hella good. You're like "okay yeah, I'm good at this job, so I'm going to apply to a higher paid position in the company that just opened up."

And then...you don't get the job. Well, that sucks. Better luck next time, right?

Wrong. Well, not entirely. That's completely true. But that's not how your brain is actually processing this, is it?

You might tell yourself "oh well" but in your high achieving brain's POV, it's like "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???? WE DON'T DO THE FAILURE STUFF!!! WHAT THE F***!!!" And it might panic, and several alters might panic, and the host might panic, and suddenly they're spiraling out of control over something that is mildly disappointing at best. Because WE DON'T HAVE A GUY FOR THIS?! We have a guy for SA, we have a guy for DV, we have a guy for medical trauma, we have a guy for bullying, etc. But we don't have a guy for REJECTION?! AHHH! [splits a part just to handle rejection.]

In adulthood, I've noticed both in myself and other systems I frequently speak to, these highly specialized parts are more commonly split in adulthood. Because while patterns are super helpful in childhood when you're experiencing the generally same shit over and over, in adulthood or even late teen years, there's so many effing unknowns that the brain is just like "what the actual fuck is this, this doesn't follow the fucking SCRIPT you guys. The PATTERNS?? Do they mean nothing to you??"

DID is a disorder that is incredibly helpful for survival in childhood and is an absolutely miserable crutch to live with in adulthood. And that's not me saying it super sucks all the time, but the disorder is not meant to happen, it shouldn't have happened, and coping with it without therapy and proper integration of parts and memories just makes adulthood kind of a hellscape, to be frank. There are tons of positives, I am so thankful, don't get me wrong. But there are a lot of downsides too.

So, to kind of drive home some examples of things that can cause a split that might not even be inherently traumatic based on my own experience and the experiences of some folks in our system server:

-(TW: mild NSFW in this one) We had our first consensual sexual experience when we were 19. We didn't have a guy for that. Everything we'd ever experienced throughout our childhood and teen years was not consensual. So when we were having consensual sex with our girlfriend, we were losing our mind because we didn't have this pattern integrated. So we split a guy whose literal only job was "consensual sex" and he was pretty much made to be the "perfect partner" for our girlfriend.

-We have a part whose only job is to play video games. We didn't know why until we realized he was fronting during stressful family gatherings and was playing videogames to pass the time until they were allowed to leave.

-We have a part that split only to handle our irrational fear of getting sick with a deadly illness right around COVID lockdown time.

-We had a part split just to internalize the feeling of "going to hell" due to our religious beliefs at the time.

-We have a lot of parts that split just to hold feelings of anger, sadness, or fear, even in adulthood. This is common in situations where anger or showing emotions was not allowed in childhood, so if the brain decides that's not allowed, when a part gets overly angry they might split a part to hold that anger, which then typically gets buried deep down.

Note about the above example: Trauma therapists often say that anger is one of the last emotions processed when processing traumatic events. Which is why "anger holding alters" are so so so fucking common. Kids and teens and adults get angry and if that's not allowed in some way shape or form, the brain will suppress it. It's also why it's common for people with DID to be able to "turn off" emotions or if triggered, will have a sudden intense burst of emotions (typically anger or frustration) because of how intensely repressed emotions often have to be just to survive living in a toxic environment that would cause something like DID. When you were a kid, you couldn't cry in front of your parents because you would be ridiculed or punished. So you will "turn it off" and go hide to cry later. But if, as an adult, you never let yourself "go cry later," that shit will build up and cause those intense emotional breakdowns, even after something that's considerably smaller scale than what you're used to. Kind of considered the "straw that broke the camel's back." You can be having a shit week with horrible thing after horrible thing and you're doing really well at "shutting it off" especially when around others, because god forbid you let the mask fall, and then suddenly you can't open a cheese stick or you can't find your keys so you might be late, or there's a stain on your shirt right before work, or the entire contents of your bag get dumped onto the floor of your car because you had to brake too hard...and that's when the breakdown happens.

Anyway, to get back on track, there are probably a plethora of other ways a system could split that seem mundane or "not that traumatizing" or alter roles might be super hyper-specific and the reasoning for that is because ✨patterns✨ We love to see it. /sar

Hope this was helpful! If you have further questions, feel free to hit up the ask box or the replies. :)

-Dori🌹

(Again, endos please don't interact, this is not for you. This is for the folks whose DID was caused via childhood trauma. These patterns likely would not exist in someone whose system didn't form from repeated traumas.)

#dorian🌹#advice #did #dissociation #dissociative identity disorder #did osdd #actually did #traumatized #actually traumatized #traumagenic did #endos dni #did alters #did therapy #did system #our brains are like supercomputers and I'm not even kidding #once it understands a pattern #it will quickly assimilate that pattern if the pattern continues to occur #DID brains are freaking incredible #also terrifying

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annymation · 4 months

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"This Wish" Reimagined

Asha's "I Want" song in my Wish rewrite

Something that quite bothered me in Wish’s “I want song” is that I never really… Connected with Asha as a character while listening to it.

With Ariel we WANT to see her get to the surface.

With Quasimodo we WANT to see him out of Notre Dame.

With Mirabel we WANT to see her make her family proud.

With Asha I want… her to have more than this…?

And what is “this”? Like, the subject is vague, and that’s because the song writer Julia Michels was asked to just “Write a song about a young woman that wants to fight an corrupt system” which is a neat concept… But Julia didn’t know what that corrupt system even was doing, I’m not joking, she said so on interviews, AND SHE SAID DISNEY ASKED HER TO DO IT IN 3 WEEKS LIKE GIRL!?

Anyway, as a result, I can’t really relate to Asha’s struggles because the song feel like it could be sang by ANYONE facing a hard situation where they “May be young but are not wrong” or “Have hesitations about what to do”…

But who is ASHA in this, aside from the person who is singing the song? Yeah, she wants more, but more WHAT?! You can listen to “When will my life begin” without watching Tangled and you’ll totally understand what Rapunzel’s personality is and what she wants… But in This Wish?… I don’t know who the heck is Asha, and I watched the movie!

It doesn’t help that in the movie the BIG HORRIBLE REVEAL that Asha is facing is that the system that only grants one wish per month… isn’t granting EVERYONE’S wishes… when that should’ve been common sense, like, does no one in Rosas understand basic math???

In my rewrite though, Asha has been silently questioning the system around her but knowing full well she couldn’t change it so she just accepted it, until the day arrived for her to give away her wish to conform to the expectations. She said she didn’t want to, and questioned if the king even granted all the wishes like he said he did. Seeing that she had spirit, the king and queen gaslight, gatekeep and girlboss manipulated her to get a wish out of her, and after that, by peeking through a door, Asha discovered the truth about her kingdom’s wish system, a truth so terrifying for her that she ran as far away as she could. And with no one else to help her… She made a wish upon a star.

(There, I summarized my rewrite so far, if that sounds cool to you consider checking it out here)

I think that’s a more interesting premise, and it gives Asha more nuance, but how do you translate ALL THAT into one song? Well, here’s how I’d change “This Wish” to do that:

“This Wish”

Should have listened to my own instincts No time to cry now for what could have been If I could show them everything I've seen Open their eyes to all the lies then Would they believe in me or in them? But when I speak, they tell me, "Sit down" But how can I when I've already started runnin'? All I wanted to do was grant my wish on my own But now that wish's stolen and, I am all alone [Chorus] So I look up at the stars to guide me For I know they can send me a sign If knowing what it could be is what drives me Then let me be the first to stand in line So I make this wish Asking us for freedom, hope and bliss So I make this wish To have something more for us than this [Post-Chorus] Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah-ah More than this, oh-ah-ah-ah For many years they’ve been tricking us all Yeah, they said “We’ll protect you” while being our downfall Now what’s a girl like me supposed to do? How do you fight a king and queen? oh and they’ve got magic too! And all I've got is reservations and hesitations On where I should even begin I'm past dipping my toes in But I'm not, no, I'm not past diving in If I could just be pointed in any given direction On where to go and what to do My legs are shaking, but my head's held high The way you always taught me to [Chorus] So I look up at the stars to guide me For I know they will send me a sign I'm sure there will be challenges that find me But I can take them on one at a time So I make this wish Asking us for freedom, hope and bliss So I make this wish To have something more for us than this [Post-Chorus] Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah (So I make this wish) Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah-ah (To have something more) More than this, oh-ah-ah-ah [Outro] So I make this wish To have something more for us than this!

Thank You For Reading!

#disney wish #wish 2023 #wish star #wish movie #wish rewrite #wish asha #wish disney #disney #asha x star boy #Asha wish #song lyrics #wish reimagined

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genericpuff · 10 months

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What the actual fuck are they thinking-

Okay, the caption might seem overblown but... this is not good.

The main LO subreddit has been closed for weeks now. It closed due to the API protests but considering the options in the community poll were to either "stay open indefinitely" or "stay closed until the decision is reversed", there's a tinfoil hat theory going around that the single mod that overlooks that place saw the API protests as an "easy way out", especially considering how hands-off those mods are. By the time the main sub decided to take part in the protests (after the height of the protests were over) it had already been stated by u/spez that they were not going to reverse the decision. Essentially, the LO subreddit is done.

Do you know what's been happening since it closed? Activity in ULO has been skyrocketing, but we've also been seeing a lot more discourse from people who have been forced to stomach the ULO content after having their main community shuttered.

Listen, I've got a lot of issues with the main sub and the things they've done over the past year. There are definitely some really shitty folks in there who have ruined things for those who are just casual readers by just being way too protective of this comic. But that doesn't mean the main sub shouldn't exist. The main sub, as dead as it was by the time it closed, was still an option for people who didn't want blind praise or relentless criticism/shitposting. Though there were people who tried to gatekeep the shit out of the main sub (attempting to make it a "positive vibes only" space) the main sub was never explicitly designed for only praise, and by the time it closed, it was seeing a lot more balance between praise and criticism (to no one's surprise, because criticism has become a lot more mainstream in the LO fandom, simply due to the comic's undeniably tanking). All that said, it made for a nice middle ground. Even I enjoyed going in there and reading people's takes on new episodes every week, whether or not I agreed with them. ULO was not designed to be the only route for discussion concerning LO, it's very specifically run for one specific purpose and that purpose will not line up with those who are now without a space.

Without the main sub, there are people with nowhere to go. Some people casually grin and bear it through ULO, others have gone to /r/LowSodiumLoreOlympus, but considering how dead that sub is also, it's clear the popular opinion is swaying more towards criticism. I can't imagine what it's like to be a community refugee right now.

So what does that leave for those who don't want to use ULO? The Facebook groups, and the Discord. The Facebook groups are probably the most accessible communities - not everyone uses reddit, not everyone knows how to use Discord, but everyone uses Facebook.

So the fact that the Facebook groups aren't going on a small break, but are going on their own 4 month hiatus?

Not only does this further reduce the options for fandom interaction, but this is terrible for the comic. Hiatuses like this can kill long-term retention, and fandom communities are often the best way to keep that retention on some form of life support.

Think of it this way - if I didn't have the ULO community, I probably would have dropped off LO ages ago, cut my losses, moved on. But it's the fact that I have a community to keep in touch with and have fun with that keeps me on this series. This goes the other way as well, into the casual and praise communities - while I'm sure many will still eagerly return in October, for those who are more casual readers, Lore Olympus will essentially be out of sight, out of mind. And that is NOT something you want to happen to a comic that is already losing traction.

I genuinely do not know what Rachel is thinking closing these groups. And yes, I am pointing to Rachel on this decision because she literally runs the official LO Facebook groups. LO going on a mid-season hiatus over the summer when HALF OF HER DEMOGRAPHIC IS HOME FROM SCHOOL is already such a huge risk that will likely kill her numbers; but to go and cut off her official groups from being able to stay connected and talking about the comic during the hiatus, on a platform OCCUPIED BY THE OTHER HALF OF HER DEMOGRAPHIC, LITERALLY ADULT WOMEN ?? What is that supposed to achieve? If she wants to give her mods a break, sure, okay, do that for a few weeks, but four months? Is she so allergic to fans being able to theorize or "figure her out" (because god knows Rachel doesn't like being predictable) or, god forbid, is she worried about giving them too much "freedom" to reflect and discuss the comic during this time without the weekly dopamine distraction hits that they actually stop and realize how shitty the comic is right now?

All I can say is, as much as we're theorizing that LO is going to be getting a 4th season, I really do hope this midseason hiatus is its last. Whatever life this comic has left is being choked out by Rachel and Webtoons' own hands.

And when it does go out, it better go out with a bang. That's the least it can do for itself and its community at this point.

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #antiloreolympus #anti lore olympus

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hajimedics · 1 year

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I wouldn’t really consider myself as being in the welcome home fandom (it’s my special interest however I won’t actively engage in the fandom), but I wanted to give my personal two cents on the matpat video situation.

as much as I think matpat’s only mildly annoying nowadays, I am more concerned about how clown is going to feel instead of the new wave of fans that said video will bring. I mean, putting the world “cult” loosely in the video title? speculating that the neighborhood is part of some sect? making up theories about characters even though we only know a smidge of their backstories and personalities? it’s all just so baffling to me. clown has stated that old arts (like wally with cross-shaped cufflinks) do not reflect the tone of what welcome home is going to be now and to think that a big youtuber has done the opposite, I’m becoming worried about the perception people will have on this story in the future.

like.... it’s not really just about “this annoying youtuber has touched our precious welcome home!!!!! it’s so over!!!!”. what will clown think of this? I wish him nothing but peace in his mind. hopefully all of this stuff will not overwhelm him too much. he deserved all the break. and I hope people will know that there are more things to be concerned about rather than merely, indirectly saying “we need to gatekeep welcome home” as if you have any right to decide what to do for someone else’s story. thanks

#welcome home #welcome home puppet show

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ryuusei-ryka · 3 months

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I emerge from my grave to post a theory about MILGRAM

Hello hello everyone! I don't know how many of you will see this post due to my avoidance of social media these past years and thus my absolute ignorance about every possible change in this site.

ANYHOW let's get down to business.

I am going to write this post because I made my boyfriend (who does not use tumblr) catch up to MILGRAM's second trial and while I was teaching him about some fan theories he said something that I'm not sure I'll believe, but BOY isn't that interesting. So I thought it would be cool to share with other people and hear their thoughts.

Now, as the cool kids say, theory under the cut (?).

A necessary premise to do is that this theory is built on another one (that I can't find so please if you happen to have the link to the post, give it to me so that I can put it here!) that says Kotoko's murder is actually an indirect one.

If I recall correctly without missing anything important, this thesis exists due to Deep Cover being so vague about the murder and on a specific official picture, this one:

We can clearly see Haruka, Muu, Shido, Amane and Mikoto on one side and Yuno, Fuuta, Mahiru, Kazui and Kotoko on the other. Being that the first column murders are all direct (choking, cutterknife in the gut, dissection, crashing head with a mace/bat) and the second one's are all indirect (abortion, cyberbullying, toxic love, miscommunication), Kotoko being there could imply that hers too is an indirect murder.

I'm not fond on this theory tbh (just based on my guts and my perception of the girl), especially because here they're all just arranged to make a "snake" following their numbers (Haruka on the bottom left -> Yuno on the bottom right -> Fuuta besides her higher on the right -> back on the left side with Muu -> up left with Shidou... and so on, I hope the gist's clear skfvnfk). Surely there is a reason behind the "snake" arrangement given how MILGRAM is so keen on hidden details, but the direct/indirect murder thing? Not my two cents (but it'd be super cool to be proven wrong of course).

Another thing worth mentioning for the sake of this post is the very first (?) theory about MILGRAM, aka Es as the 11th prisoner. I don't want to be negative, but I'm not fond on this one either- that's just because it would be so predictable that, eh, it'd make me a bit sad.

SO, all this premise is to get to THIS POST's theory.

What if the real prison pairs are 0102, 0304, 0506, 0708, 0909 and 1011? Let me elaborate a bit.

Every couple from 0102 to 0708 has allegedly (MILGRAM may prove everything wrong of course) one indirect and one direct murder, fact. At the same time we all know that prisoner 09 is a system, so there are at least two people in there, one being "clueless" Mikoto, one being "violent" John (I'm putting it simply, I'm not symplifying everything due to disrespect, I swear).

So, theory is: what if Mikoto's system represents both direct and indirect murder, while Kotoko represents direct murder because Es (aka we) represesents the indirect one?

I've seen a theory stating that the real prisoner in Milgram is not Mikoto, not John (as we have seen in their first VD), but it's actually Midokoto (not elaborating because I'm pretty sure you're all aware of the threekoto theory). That'd be because even if John may be the one doing the killing (not considering it may very well be Mikoto himself tbf), Midokoto most likely is the gatekeeper of the system. That means HE is the one in charge of deciding the alter that fronts, thus letting John/Mikoto swap and, well, crash someone's head with a bat. Knowing Milgram as far as we've seen it, it's not absurd that it would consider Midokoto the "mastermind" of the action, having then the "culprit" of indirect murder and the one that phisically did it both in one body.

So then, Kotoko is very likely (at least in my opinion) to have killed in a very phisical way as well. We still don't really know her story nor her victim but, assuming it's not the CEO son she reads about nor the guy we see on the floor both in HARROW and Deep Cover, vigilantes usually take very direct actions as far as I know. It's easy for someone so blinded by their belief to take a step further and, well, overstep.

Es, on the other hand, is the guard of Milgram, but it's pristine they know... as much as the prisoners, basically? They hear Jackalope and all, yeah, but... they're still part of the experiment/whatever it is (so maybe this theory may work even if Es is not the 11th prisoner, as long as they're part of the experiment). The first trial ended substantially well if we think that everyone survived, but we know nothing about what will happen now that the second one has ended. Probably (hopefully) Kotoko won't be able to lash on the unforgiven prisoners, but what if Haruka manages to k*ll himself? That'd be a death "caused" by Es judgement... fulfilling the indirect murder requirement [and making everyone who ever voted a ~ murderer ~ (to Milgram's eyes, ofc)].

I don't know if any of this is plausible nor anything about Kotoko's murder, so it may very well be just something silly... but I thought it was super interesting, so I wanted to share it!

Feel free to reply/write to me to share your opinion!

#milgram #kotoko yuzuriha #yuzuriha kotoko #milgram theory #es (milgram)#theory #kayano mikoto #mikoto kayano #john (milgram)

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silvernyxchariot · 26 days

Text

Like I said before, I don't gatekeep and I made it my mission to represent Kavetham teams. It's not just for the ✨️gays✨️, I'm here for the 🌈Gaymers🌈. So, have my Kaveh's bloom build, Basic Bitch build*, and Battery build ideas for viewing. And Alhaitham's here.

Yes, I legitimately have a team specifically to carry Kaveh's different outfits labeled, "Kaveh's Wardrobe."** Leave me be.

Bloom

Generic, but I love his bloom kit. He's a 4 star tank that gets the highest score in Abyss for "Most Damage Taken" 🥺 each and every time. Since I don't have Mailed Flower, I want Makhaira Aquamarine and that's all I'm missing for this outfit.

Basic Bitch*/DPS (wip)

I now have Redhorn Stonethresher, Itto's weapon, and I'm trying to get more refinements. So, I will switch to that when I can. I chose Deepwood Forest for his DPS outfit for the Dendro res shredding. I also considered Vermillion Hereafter and the traditional Gladiator's Finale set for ATK boosts.

Xingqiu normally wields Deepwood for the team, but if Kaveh and Alhaitham change their outifts, then Xingqiu might be switched out of the team entirely.

Battery (wip)

This one is simple. Focus on ER and collecting particles. Chongyun is holding the seconday battery set, Sacrificial Greatsword + Noblesse Oblige; I didn't care enough to add that to Enka network because it's like 4:30 am and I haven't slept. Mix and match to your liking. So, Kaveh technically has 4 outfits. 💕

Alhaitham: Basic Bitch* & Battery Build

Loser husband. Only wears sweats or a bland as fuck black suit & tie to formal events. Overall, he's still a DPS but I gave some attention to ER. Will occasionally switch out Harbinger of Dawn with my R3 Blacksword from battlepass because I like its little healing passive for him. Shinobu can only keep you alive for so long, Alhaitham, and she might not even be on the team at all times. It's a little bit of a WIP because I changed out his sands and circlet.

Supports are also important. The final two slots can be whoever you wish, of course, but it does need to make some sense. For example, if I'm using my Kaveh DPS build, Alhaitham will lean into his battery build, and their supports could be Yun Jin, Bennett, or Rosaria. Basically, characters that buff the on-field DPS, i.e. Kaveh. As mentioned before, I normally have Xingqiu on the team, Hydro subDPS with Dendro resistance shredding thanks to the Deepwood set, but he can be switched around when I don't use the Bloom outfit.

For my Kavetham comrades, please feel free to gain inspiration from my builds. I would love to see your ideas ♡ too. If people are making DPS Freminent, Amber, Heizou, and even Pyro Yao Yao, there's no excuse to building your favs into little monsters. Send them to the Abyss to serve cunt. 💃 To everyone else, I don't tolerate any hate, harassment, or unwarranted "help/advice." Yes, we know what the meta is. No, we clearly don't care. Keep it to yourself.

* I say the phrase "Basic Bitch" for DPS builds because they're generally the same for any character: Flower (HP), Feather (ATK), [scaling stat ATK%/DEF%/HP%/EM] Sands, Elemental/Physical dmg Goblet, and Crit dmg/rate circlet.

** "Outfits" refer to artifacts and weapon pairings.

#Kaveh build #Genshin Impact #kaveh genshin impact #kaveh my beloved #Alhaitham #Al Haitham #Kavetham #Haikaveh #I don't play fAvORitEs/j #Let's see who's actually reading/s #if you put in the effort they will work for you #I'm a little too passionate about this

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fanby-fckry · 24 days

Text

It’s not Wednesday, but UH3 brainrot has once again consumed me.

I’m supposed to be catching up on Ace Alastor Week, and instead I’m writing ahead in the Season 1 fic.

Sneak peek below, heed the tags.

Content Warning: self harm*, blood, references to canon-typical violence, implied/referenced child abuse, inconsistent terminology regarding sex and gender**

*Whether or not this is self harm could probably be up for debate, but I, personally, consider it to be a form of self harm. Please put your own health and safety first; read with caution of feel free to keep scrolling. Stay safe, readers.

**Alastor sometimes conflates sex and gender because he just doesn’t think about or care what people have in their pants. He grew up in a time where the two were considered interchangeable; while he knows neither sex nor gender are static/that not everyone matches up with the gender they were assigned and will call a trans person by their chosen name/pronouns, gender them correctly, and treat them exactly like he’d treat anyone else, he still gets the terms a little mixed up from time to time. He wouldn’t gatekeep someone based on their transition status, because the physical state of someone else’s body isn’t his concern unless he’s actively in the process of killing them. And even then, he’s not focused on sex characteristics of any kind.

…

“And all this time, I thought it was mere population control!” Alastor ranted ino the private connection. He was pacing across his meticulously sound-proofed hotel room while his shadow flew from wall to wall.

“Well,” Lucifer began, but Alastor wasn’t done speaking and didn’t care for being interrupted.

“Ha!” Alastor laughed, threading a hand through his own hair. “Can you blame me?” he asked.

A rhetorical question, but Lucifer gave his best attempt at answering. “It is p-”

“They’ve got no style, no finesse! And barely any skill!” Alastor’s shadow curled its claws into fists, and Alastor removed his hand from his hair to keep himself from pulling it or digging his claws into his scalp as he felt the urge to do the same.

“Year after year, decade after decade, it’s nothing but artless, soulless slaughter!” Alastor laughed again, manic, hysterical, and lacking any and all joy. “Is it any wonder I assumed it was simply a mindless masacre?”

“Alastor-”

“Entertainment…” Alastor dug his claws into the inside of his palm, attempting to ground himself with the pain.

“If killing Sinners for one’s own entertainment is so damned Holy, then why is he in Heaven while I’m down here?” Alastor demanded, static rising in his voice. “Why, one could argue that he’s worse than I am!”

“He’s certainly killed more Sinners than I have by now, considering how long the Exterminations have been in effect.” Hell’s history books were patchy at best, and Lucifer only talked about his – and by extension, Hell’s – past in vague, non-specific terms, often while drunk or sentimental. Or both.

Alastor’s claws began to draw blood. “And from the combination of what Charlie and Lilith and you have all told me, he’s a vulgar, disrespectful chauvinist!”

The pain no longer felt like an anchor. It was fuel on the fire that was the rage burning within him, the wrath he felt at the injustice of it all.

“My mother raised me to be a gentleman,” Alastor said. “Any disrespect I show is based on a woman's actions, not her sex. But Adam expected Lilith to bend to his whims simply on the basis of her gender! He talked down to Charlie, likely on the same logic!”

“And yes, I kill because I enjoy it, but I’m selective with my victims! I enact vengeance on behalf of the weak and vulnerable! In life, I corrected the injustices of a corrupt system, and in death I punish those already Damned by their sins!”

Blood was seeping through Alastor’s knuckles. He pushed his claws deeper, sinking them into the meat of his palms.

“So why…?” There were bloodstains on the carpet. Niffty would be quite upset if she learned that the blood was Alastor’s rather than one of his meals’.

“Why?” Alastor repeated, barely audible above his own feedback. His cheeks were wet. He must have gotten blood on them at some point.

Everything was silent for a moment, save for the static Alastor couldn’t reign in.

Then, Lucifer spoke. “It’s complicated,” he said, quietly.

Alastor made an animalistic sound deep in the back of his throat, something between a growl and a whimper. But he let the Devil speak.

“I don’t know the particulars, but murder and vengeance are both Damnable sins.”

“Then why isn’t he Damned,” Alastor said through gritted teeth. “Why hasn’t Adam Fallen?”

Lucifer sighed. “Nepotism?”

Alastor laughed. “Oh, that’s rich coming from you!”

“What the fuck do you mean by that?” Lucifer asked, his volume increasing. “My Father kicked me out of Heaven for falling in love with Lilith and for daring to dream of a world where humanity wasn’t bound by eternal ignorance.”

“And he gave you a kingdom!” Alastor swung his arms, flinging blood across the room with the sheer force of the movement. “He let you and Lilith elope when he could’ve smited you both! Do you think he’d give the same courtesy to his other angelic children, or do the rumors of you being his favorite son hold true, hm, Lightbringer?”

The radio began to smoke and glow with a faint golden light.

“Get that name out of your fucking mouth, Alastor.”

Alastor ignored him, ignored the projections of his power.

“My father never would’ve shown me such benevolence if I’d disobeyed him the way you did yours.” Alastor moved to inspect the bloodstains on the walls. “And the best thing he ever gave me was a lesson in the inherent cruelty of man.”

#self harm cw #implied abuse cw #fanby’s fuckery #fanby’s fic snippets #fanby: uhverse #fanby: uh3 #fanby: an age of upheaval #not tagging fandoms and shit because i don’t want this breeching containment

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j-ellyfish · 9 months

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I was today years old when I discovered that, apparently, Shounen Jump doesn't allow women to be editors/helpers 🙃 now it may be false information, but that would help explain why WS is the way it is now... To this day I am baffled that Hetalia is considered shounen/seinen... I understand that unfortunately shoujo/josei isn't as popular, but I very seldom see men, even jp men (which are apparently the supposed main audience) be fans of Hetalia or supporting its merch. Most of the money Hetalia gets seems to come from jp women. Hell, it doesn't even seem to be a Bungou Stray Dogs case where they make the series appealing for both genders. With it's lack of shounen-esque battles, latent homoerotic content (especially in the ye old days), fanservice which even to this day is 90% of the time focused on the male characters... I have to wonder, what does this series have going on for a male cishet audience? The very ocasional boob joke? The (now practically nonexistent) historical content? I'm confused...

Sorry for the rant, I hope it isn't too much 😅

[Sorry this post became pretty long because I can't shut the hell up!]

I looked a bit into it and, unfortunately, it seems to be true. Apparently they use "you need to understand what's in a young boy's heart" as an excuse to sort of gatekeep women from having a career as an editor with them.

I have read a couple articles about this, and the way Shueisha seems to dismiss the issue is pretty disturbing. The later deleted tweets from the (female) author of Rocking You!!! really speaks volume of the situation beyond any corporate clarification Shueisha released on the matter:

[Source] [Source]

Sadly, the manga&anime mainstream/dominant scene is still pretty sexist and it's no wonder that many female and/or queer artists prefer to engage in more niche, somewhat still frowned upon genres like BL or Josei, at least they probably have more freedom there when it comes to sharing stories since they don't need to appeal to what a narrow-minded, sexist and conservative mindset still deems as manga's main demography - cishet male teens and young men ... Which is, well, the reason why most shows are required to have cute lil' objectified girlies as fanservice (I'm not against fanservice per se but you know what I mean, it's how unbalanced it is between genders in "romance/sexual-neutral" stories - like Shounen are supposed to be! - what makes it overwhelming and insulting) even if they don't even need it as a crutch for engagement.

Personally, I believe Hetalia's og target as a Seinen wasn't wrong. I think that Himaruya being a man did have an impact in how Hetalia came to be and how its comedy and characters, and even art style developed. It wouldn't feel right to me to call it a Shoujo or a Josei. The problem with this traditional classification is that what's a Shoujo/Josei wasn't quite established as "what girls want to see", but rather "what boys typically aren't interested in." And obviously, this soon led to the over-simplified and kinda sexist idea that Shounen=Action-packed battles; Shoujo=Romance. Many Shounen and Seinen have quite a large female presence in their fandoms despite being traditionally seen as the "boys/men's manga", whereas it is less likely for a boy or a man to be very into a Shoujo, and even less into a Josei (or, rather, it is less likely for a male to share this interest because of good ol' toxic masculinity).

In any case, while searching some stuff to form my own opinion and answer, i came across this page where they said "if a series does not fit into any other category such as Shonen or Shojo, then it will be put under Seinen", and honestly I think it makes the most sense for Hetalia.

For how I see it, the "problem" with targetizing Hetalia is that Himaruya never thought about it becoming popular when he started it. His mindset was "let's post this random silly one-time thing I came up with after engaging in a thread on 2Chan while passing time as a student in New York". There wasn't any intended 'commercial use', there was no business planning beforehand. It'd be like trying to put a target on, I dunno, some everyday life meme-y comics you find daily on social media. They have no inherent target, though they might end up resonating with one group of people more than others. But you cannot know until the thing actually starts resonating with an audience.

The 2Chan threads in question, according to the informations I gathered, actually dealt with topics that tend to resonate with a male audience more: a debate about military weapons and strategies used in WW2 that culminated with talking about Italy's military failures of the time; and how Japan will literally make moe girlies as personifications for anything. Himaruya just had this idea, definitely influenced by his time spent in a multiethnic background while he was in the US, to fundamentally make a comic inspired by those moe female personifications but have them be moe guys instead.

It would've been very hard for Himaruya to foresee the attention his work would've gotten, let alone the kind of audience that would actually be interested in it. Sure, Himaruya apparently called himself a Fudanshi once (I have no source for this though so take it with a grain of salt!) and it's not hard to believe, but Hetalia is very atypical even for a BL-leaning series.

Let's not forget that the first one-shot Hetalia strip was posted on Hima's blog in 2006. And, let's say, things back then were quite different. Yaoi/BL wasn't nearly as popular as it became later, and mainstream media didn't really discover the power of fanservice aimed at a female audience yet (that would come much, much later and kind of peaked with Free!, which I believe really made a difference in how anime business would perceive the true power of this kind of fanservice from then on). In 2006, not even Junjou Romantica had gotten an anime yet, and as much as I honestly dislike JR, it played a big role in making BL more popular because prior to that BLs could barely aspire to get anything more than a couple OVAs. The few that did get a proper anime season (like Gravitation, Loveless and Sukisho) still didn't get as much of a hype to make the "male-dominated mainstream community" notice their existence like JR somehow did.

I'm not even sure the kind of "fanservice" Hetalia made/makes use of was a thing in 2006. Like, you know, all those anime we have now that have tons of homoerotic subtext, a predominantly or exclusively male cast, are targeted at least partially at a female audience but never actually dip into romance or make anything really canon? I'm no expert, but I don't think they were a thing back then, and if they did they were quite niche. Perhaps Hetalia also changed the male perception of female audience in manga/anime spaces. Hetalia fans back then were quite ostracized and shamed merely for being girls enjoying a show with a kind of content that most cishet males - used to their shows with everything geared towards them (and girls confined to the "Romance Shoujo enclosure") - couldn't quite comprehend. I've seen so many male anime fans, back in the day, making fun of us simply for being girls and enjoying a comedy that features hot guys with all the homoerotic subtext they wouldn't bat an eye at if it was between female characters.

However it is worth noting that, while most Hetalia fans are girls or women, it has a minority of male fans as well. One of the two friends that actually introduced me to Hetalia was a boy, and I was introduced to it together with three other friends, one of which was a boy too - we all loved it at first sight! An Italian Youtuber I occasionally follow revealed that his very first manga was Hetalia and although he only picked it up to get closer to the girl he liked, I guess he didn't hate it enough to just drop it and "unlike" that girl lol I saw reactions of a few other guys to Hetalia episodes and none of them hated it, they even laughed at some jokes! I believe that many men are simply prejudiced against Hetalia because of internalized sexism or toxic masculinity, especially if they're aware of the fandom's main activity being shipping (lol).

I don't think Himaruya made any of his """fanservice""" with an actual fanservice-y intent, he simply, genuinely drew what he, before anyone else, enjoyed drawing. Unlike a lot of fanservice out there, Hetalia's never feels forced, it is very genuine.

[Conclusion; if you wanna skip what's above lol]

I don't think it's fair to say that Hetalia willingly attempts to appeal to women. I feel like Hetalia, at least pre-HWS Hetalia, appealed to Himaruya before and foremost. It just so happened that Himaruya's taste aligned more with a female audience, despite being actually funny in a gender-neutral way that way too many cishet guys dismiss because of (I guess?) fragile masculinity and fandom prejudice.

So, keeping that into account, I really do not think it'd be fair to call Hetalia a Shoujo or a Josei. And it isn't fair to call it a Shounen either, because we see how Hetalia's essence and humor was undoubtedly butchered by Shounen Jump+'s editing and rules, that simply do not align with either Hetalia's spirit nor its main audience's expectations.

As a Seinen, Hetalia had freedom to be whatever it wanted because Seinen tends to have more loose rules for what is or isn't allowed in one. Because its target of "adult men" is basically, de facto, a neutral catch-all label. Josei tends to be too involved in classic Shoujo dynamics and themes, albeit in a more mature sauce, and while there are exceptions I feel, in all the (few) Josei I crossed path with, there is a certain je-ne-sais-quoi that makes it undoubtedly more inherently feminine than Hetalia is.

It's funny because this whole debate over Hetalia's target kind of reminds me of how the very first BL, Kaze To Ki No Uta, is classified as a Shoujo because back then Yaoi didn't exist as an official genre. When you make something revolutionary that defies pre-existing rules and boxes, it's hard to slap a specific label on it that feels right.

#hetalia #this is long but I hope it wasn't too boring lol #actually I'm curious so I'm going to make a poll about this #what genre is Hetalia?? HETALIA IS HETALIA lol #ary spoke #ask

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dootznbootz · 3 months

Text

I feel kind of bad about that post I made talking about how Odysseus would never sacrifice his family to save his own skin while I didn't give a name, I hope that person doesn't feel bad or that they get hate. As I don't want to gatekeep someone's interpretation of the Odyssey but also...while I guess you could claim that he would do that, there's so much MORE evidence as to how he would literally rather be stabbed than see his wife and son have even a splinter

Her rejecting him at first put him in a bad position. Honestly, in an alternate universe, where she didn't accept him or trick him that night, I think the poor guy would've cried himself to sleep again in that separate cot. He'd probably cry to Athena and ask if he did something wrong.

It would probably be an "awkward morning" of Odysseus and Penelope silently doing their things (not bringing up suitors' parents right now. And Odysseus would probably tell Telemachus to not say anything stupid.) and eventually, everything would bubble up out of Odysseus and honestly, I could see him straight up begging her to accept him. Not even caring about how he appeared to others.

Honestly, if she DID take a lover in that time...I think he'd either accept it and just...wander? Around Ithaca as a beggar as he doesn't want to be away from them but if they won't accept him, what else can he do? OR if she had another lover, (War flashback of the shitty retelling where Penelope has an affair) he'd probably kill the lover as let's be honest, Odysseus is basically a Yandere, to put it simply. Touch the wife, you get the knife.

And yeah, he doesn't JUST want his family.

"Oh, he wants to not be in constant danger."

"He just wants to go back to Ithaca."

"He wants to be king again."

Boy howdy, he sure does!!! But if, for example, Penelope and Telemachus for some reason moved to somewhere else? IDK, AU where they permanently moved to Sparta, hanging with Helen and Menelaus, and she didn't remarry or something. He'd be like "Shit, okay, BRB." And go to them. He'd probably have them all go back to Ithaca but still, THEY ARE HIS HOME. They make Ithaca home. Any place is home as long as he has them.

Despite having the opportunity to wed the most beautiful woman in the world, he took the Oath so then he could marry Penelope. And even then, it wasn't "for sure" as he had to race her dad. He did so much simply to have the CHANCE to marry her even though he probably wasn't planning on getting married as he brought no gifts. And he did so much so then he wouldn't have to leave the life they had built together and their young baby.

He could've had ANYONE. Went ANYWHERE. Did ANYTHING and he still wanted THEM.

Like??? Holy shit. This guy would do ANYTHING for them. I mean that's kind of why he's considered to be so "scummy" in how ride or die he is for them and basically a bitch to everyone else. That's what makes him SO different from many of his peers.

Person: Would you rather have your family- Odysseus: Family, always. Person: I didn't even say it yet- Odysseus: I don't fucking care. Always family. Person: Even if it meant you got immortality and a hot goddess for a wife? Odysseus: You act like that's a good thing? That was literally torture. Fuck you. I already have a hot Water Wife™ that I get the privilege to drown in every day. She gave me a wonderful Water Son™ who is the light of my eyes and who I am more proud to be the father of than I am of being the son of an Argonaut Person: Even if I give you a million dollars? Odysseus, acting nonchalant while Penelope picks the person's pockets: As if we can't get that on our own. Person: You'd die? Odysseus: I'll set myself on fire if I have to. Person: ...Okay, new question. Would you rather lose your family- Odysseus: The other option. Always. Person: Even torture? Odysseus: I never said I would like it, just that I would do it. Person: Even yeet a baby?! Odysseus: I'll punt the baby if I have to. It's not like I wanna but I gotta do what I gotta do.

And so on and so forth. You GET IT.

#It's technically not enough as I will not shut up about them EVER but yeah. I have cat on lap. I have a cookie. aaaaaaaaaaaa #I did mean for this to be an apology and it became a rant again. I'm so sorry. but yeah... :'D I'm so fucking sorry. I'm such a bitch #I realized that there really wasn't the best evidence for this idea of him saving himself. there's more evidence to COUNTER that.#I mean he could've killed Penelope because she rejected him at first. HE was at risk because she didn't accept him.#and while he was REALLY fucking hurt and called her cruel. he STILL let her have their bed. Their fancy bed that represented THEM #that he refused to sleep in any other bed but that one but if she's not in it with him? There's no point.#It's not a marriage bed if he can't have the marriage that it represents with it.#sad au where Odysseus isn't accepted and he just...stays and watches... can't even move on because he doesn't want anything else #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #let's be real. Odysseus is against drowning but if it's from the Water Wife???👀 He'd be fine sinking to the bottom of the “river”#“Get in the Water” sung by Penelope would be a COMPLETELY different...tune.#*coughs*#I feel so insane right now. Yahoo #sdkjfskldjf #essay

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personasintro · 11 months

Note

I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR WORKS MIMI!

I will write 2 messages now.

1/2

First of all, I have read a reply you posted a few weeks ago in which you said that when MH ends, many people will lose interest in you/your works. That's absolutely not true. I'm a writer myself on Wattpad (more of Italian poetry and some short stories) and I was never interested in reading anything on Wattpad, nor I am a big reader in general. Ironic, isn't it? Being a writer and not liking reading that much. There are about like 5 books I have read in all my life. I am very freaking picky with stories, I hate clichés and I usually hate the Fan Fictions about existing people. But, when I first discovered you on TikTok, I was confused about what the hell is MH. This book kept blowing up on my home and at some point I got so curious and annoyed, that I decided to look up at it. When I started reading it, I don't know what possessed me, but I literally DEVOURED this book. Some days I didn't sleep just to read. Didn't study for anything. Just wanted to read. This happened with me only one time with a book. This was my second time but the butterflies I got with it, it's unbelievable. You made me rethink about what I look for a man, and I understood that I want a man like MH JK, who treats me like a princess and craves for me. I want someone who wants me physically and mentally. I'm very similar to MH JK to be honest, I'm just like him in friendships or relationships. Very dominant, flirty, gentle and kind. So I think that now I realised that it's better to settle for someone similar to me, like him. A bit narcissistic but I know my worth and how I treat people. Anyways, the thing is that it's not only MH, but your writing style is addictive. So once this book ends, I will sit here and wait upcoming new works by you. Because you became my favourite author on Wattpad (even though I know about all the situation with that platform, and I'm very sorry and mad). Probably you're my favourite second author, or first, I can't decide. I really enjoyed reading some of your other works, so I can tell you that it's you who got my attention, not only MH. Please, keep doing what you're doing. MH is an obsession for me, I love reading it because it helps me to kinda cope with my stress and feeling of loneliness. Just do what you want to do, leave negative comments behind and remember that there are people like me, who crave to see what you're going to write next. Just your ideas and imagination. It's exciting and unpredictable. Thank you for your work, I wish the platforms could pay you, because your works are worth of money. Sometimes I just want go gatekeep you hahah, but I also wish you to become successful if someday you'll decide to publish something very serious. Now I'll write the second message about MH only, and send it after this.

-July <3

Well, let me begin by telling you thank you and sorry! Thank you for writing me this message(s) – I'm counting the other one as well but I'll get to it after this – and sorry for taking so long in responding! 🥺

You made me rethink about what I look for a man, and I understood that I want a man like MH JK, who treats me like a princess and craves for me. I want someone who wants me physically and mentally. I'm very similar to MH JK to be honest, I'm just like him in friendships or relationships. Very dominant, flirty, gentle and kind. So I think that now I realised that it's better to settle for someone similar to me, like him. A bit narcissistic but I know my worth and how I treat people.

Yes! Don't settle for anything less. It's also not narcissistic at all and you're right. You know your worth. We're so used to having low standards that we barely consider raising the bar. Why? So we could all be in a relationship and later on be disappointed? It's not narcissistic at all to have high standards and I wish more people would realize and know their worth. I'm so happy you have taken something positive from the story and the character itself!

Like I said in a previous post that you're referring to, I do think there are readers who are here specifically for MH and nothing more. And that's fine and completely understandable and normal. I see the change and difference, and that's how it is. But there are also readers who enjoy my work itself, just like you do and either way, I am happy that someone is actually reading my stories. I'm so grateful for the sweetest words you've written here and I'll cherish this message for A LONG time!

I'll get to your second message now ♡

#💜

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the-bloody-sadist · 6 months

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#we don't support peer preasure in this house

Love your hashtag above.

Can I ask how do you deal with hurtful comments on your fanfics from someone you consider a friend? Like I know if some stranger send hurtful comments it felt bad but damn when someone you know said the same thing it felt worse. Early this year I was kicked out and blocked from an animanga lover group when they find out that I wrote mlm fanfics from major shounen series (naruto,bnha, aot, jjk). This what they said :

“I'm convinced you must have never had friends before because all of these relationships are perfect depictions of what PLATONIC friendship is. If you want a gay story support ACTUAL gay couples like in BL & GL manga. Do you know how frustrating it is to see people move mountains for a non canon ship that’ll never happen then ignore actual gay manga’s and anime’s in BL & GL anime/manga...."

What do you think? Even until now, I'm still feeling a bit guilty for liking non canon mlm and wlw ships from shounen series. But when I found your blog and read your posts, I felt way better. Especially that answer of yours to anon who asked is it weird to love mlm& wlw more than wlm. Thanks for sharing your hard work (analysis, fanfics, arts, reviews).

Sorry for my rants and for my weird feelings.....

Ohhhh this is so precious please don't apologize for sending me this ask, I love feelings and hearing about other peoples' experiences with them and how my art/accounts have somehow been relatable because of that.

The peer pressure in fandoms is absolutely insane and convinces me that the social aspect works the same as any high school full of bullies. There WILL be mean girls, there WILL be cliques, and if you're a creator like me, you're going to be a MAGNET for like ten different types of them.

As for how I deal with hurtful comments, I was raised in an environment that constantly shamed me. I was controlled from all sides on what I could draw, write, and consume, so I'm used to being shunned by those who "love" me because of what I'm interested in! Because of this, the hate comments were what I EXPECTED going in and the positive comments were actually the things that threw me for loops. Hurtful comments only had the power to nag at me when I didn't have an audience (or friends) to bounce them off of so they wouldn't keep popping up as a "do I actually do this, though?" "am I actually bad for this?". But now they don't bother me; they give me the chance to either make a troll reply or spice up my friends' group chat for the day.

As far as a FRIEND leaving a hurtful comment??? I have so much sympathy for you. I am SO sorry they treated you that way.

When I make friends, I tell them openly what I do and to what extent. This way, I gather the type of people I want and push away those who don't. If they think it's not okay, they're silly.

Those friends who kicked you out of their little club? SILLY. They think they're so pure and moral for gatekeeping what can and can't be done with creativity and passion. They won't ever know what it feels like to live as freely as you do. In the end, their opinion is an opinion that is largely not shared by the logical, rational public. Any professional in the art/film/writing industry can tell you that much. How else are we supposed to make stories? Have a little IMAGINATION!! DAMN!

I'm saying a lot of this because it's the best thing to tell yourself when you read things that are clearly meant to make you feel shame when you haven't done a single thing wrong. Since this is Tumblr and I can ramble to my heart's content, maybe it'll help you if I also point out the specific tools that have been used in that message they sent you. Sometimes a good breakdown of tactics is all it takes to remind yourself you're not in the wrong.

"I'm convinced you must have never had friends before" AKA "you're so ignorant" - invalidating your experiences to crumble any foundation you might've had to stand on if you wanted to argue back. Starting off with this helps them cut you down so your self-esteem is lowered.

"these relationships are perfect depictions of what PLATONIC friendship is" - their opinion is being stated here as a fact, as if the entire world agrees with them and there's no other way to see it. First of all, this means NOTHING to the shipping world, since it exists largely to turn friendships into romances. Idk what they wanted to do with that one.

"If you want a gay story support ACTUAL gay couples like in BL & GL manga" - I'm not sure what kind of burn that is. SUPPORT ACTUAL GAY COUPLES LIKE THE REST OF US!! Okay snuffledumpkins. Guess nobody taught them how to MULTITASK!!! GUESS WHAT? I CAN SUPPORT ACTUAL GAY COUPLES *AND* NON-CANON GAY COUPLES, FREAK! WHAT NOW, HUH??? Being serious though, this is an attempt to define for YOU what ''''''true gay couples'''''' are (ACCORDING TO THEM), when this is an entirely fluid meaning and can be applied to whomever you'd like in fiction. This is THE PURPOSE OF FANFICTION.

"Do you know how frustrating it is to see people move mountains for a non canon ship that’ll never happen then ignore actual gay manga’s and anime’s in BL & GL anime/manga...." AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA! (inhales) AAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH imagine being so stupid that you don't know how much better LGBT representation can be in fanfiction and non-canon works than in actual BL/GL works. Imagine thinking that the only way you are allowed to enjoy BL/GL relationships is through canon couples, otherwise you're not helping the cause. Here's the biggest thing to remember: they don't give a fuck about the cause. They are using that language as a way to shame you. Oh you think these friends are in love??? You must not support LGBT people in real life. You must not support ACTUAL stories about ACTUAL gay people.

The logic jump is LAUGHABLE.

Ughhhh, what a long rant from me. But your last paragraph absolutely WARMED my heart, minus the part about feeling guilty. Let me just...[shines spotlight down on you][metal screech][picks up megaphone] YOU ARE NOT IN THE WRONG FOR WANTING FICTIONAL FRIENDS TO FICTIONALLY FUCK EACH OTHERS' BRAINS OUT!!! YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT THIS MATTER, HOWEVER, ARE VERY UNDERSTANDABLE AND SHOULD NOT BE INVALIDATED, BECAUSE BULLYING IS A DIFFICULT THING TO DEAL WITH AND CAUSES VERY COMPLICATED FEELINGS REGARDLESS OF WHAT IS RIGHT OR WRONG. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON AND YOUR FICTIONAL PREFERENCES DO NOT DEFINE YOU. BE FREE, LITTLE BIRDIE! SHIP THE MASSES OF BOYS AND GIRLS IN RELATIONSHIPS THAT ANIME LOVES TO TEASE ON PURPOSE WITHOUT ACTUALLY FOLLOWING THROUGH WITH A ROMANCE SUBPLOT BECAUSE THEY'RE COWARDS!!!! THEY CAN BE ACTUAL GAY COUPLES TOO! BECAUSE YOU SAID SO! AND THAT'S OKAY!!!!

[puts the megaphone down][coughs]

I hope that helps. :D Thank you for the ask, and much love to you! It means a lot that you appreciate my work and my analyses and my opinions enough to ask me about such a painful subject.🖤

You are, in fact, quite normal for your opinion, and my entire audience would agree.

#sadist’s answered asks #THE MASCULINE URGE TO BEAR HUG SOME OF MY ASKERS #a lot of you guys need some better friends #never be afraid to block rinse and hunt #by that I mean like #block people who don't deserve your attention #rinse your mind of their FILTH!#and then hunt for actual cool people #like me! no just kidding I'm so stupid #I AM the doofy who knocks #also stop reading these hashtags

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buggywiththefolkmagic · 5 months

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Saw your book post and I think you've confused a few things...

You seem to mix up Hoodoo and Vodou a lot. They are not the same. Hoodoo is not a closed practice nor religion. It's just fking weird and poser-ish if someone claims it without ever growing up in the culture for it. But many Hoodoo practioners will tell you their practice is not closed. Vodou/Santeria is closed.

Also saying to be careful not to fall into Hoodoo while doing Conjure... you know rootwork is similar across all cultures right? This just feels like a gatekeeping statement and prevents people from really digging into their folkwork by making them constantly worried they're appropriating.

The thing with smudging: you make no mention of which kind of smudging is closed. You just said it generally, which is a bit ridiculous. Burning herbs for the sake of energy and cleansing is not inherently a Native Indigenous practice. Bayabas, or guava leaves, have been used in the Philippines pre-colonialism. Frankenincense in Europe and Old Christianity. Ti Leaves in Hawaii. Rose in Ancient Rome, and Blue Lotus in Ancient Egypt. As a latina, and as half of one myself🇨🇺, we both know our people love to use incense at altars. SAGE, particularly white sage, is where the line is drawn. Same with palo santo. I agree with your points, but I think you need to be specific if you're being critical.

Much love from 🇵🇭✨️

Hello there anon! I see you sent another ask apologizing for assuming I was Latina, and you're quite forgiven! I am as they say white as white can be.

As a white person I went to an American BIPOC friend of mine in order to answer all of this as honestly as I possibly could. Hoodoo by means of origin IS a closed practice. It's roots come from Ghana and was created in America as a very specific response to slavery. Both Hoodoo and Vodu are tribal/family based, and both require a initiation of sorts through community in order to practice them. Vodu's roots are in Haiti, and through community, enslavement, and initiation needed through the "family" as some groups of Vodu practioners call themselves, are required therefore it is also closed. I shall include some links below to help with the distinction of Hoodoo and Vodu and why they are both closed practices/religions. Hoodoo could be considered a religion in Louisiana specifically due to it's usage there and sometimes it's blending with Vodu. https://medium.com/@empressnaima/my-hoodoo-initiation-5086e375e378 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoodoo_(spirituality) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haitian_Vodou https://cswr.hds.harvard.edu/news/magic-matters/2021/11/10 https://brizomagazine.com/2020/06/15/the-appropriation-of-magic-how-white-people-demonised-voodoo/ Now that I've cleared up through BIPOC voices/history/links on why Hoodoo is in fact closed...let me address the specific comment of

"You know rootwork is similar across all cultures right? This just feels like a gatekeeping statement and prevents people from really digging into their folkwork by making them constantly worried they're appropriating." Rootwork in of itself is a Hoodoo term iirc, but I may be wrong on that front. As for worrying about appropriation...white people SHOULD BE worried about appropriating. Hell currently in America we still through simply social climate and judicial systems are failing our BIPOC/Indigenous communities.

As a folk worker who has some herbalism that stems from Cherokee and Creek peoples I am so beyond careful to make sure my practice is not appropriating from them. White people demolished them, slaughtered them, and took away their homes and sacred spaces, hell, we stole and demolished their LANGUAGE. And you're telling me I don't need to worry about taking anything else from them? The best option is to contact the people you believe is being appropriated from and just...asking them. Wild concept I know. Make friends that are not from your station! Send emails and letters to community leaders in these appropriated cultures in an honest and respectful way to see if what you're studying is appropriated. A good example of this was I found recently an ancestor of mine worked closely with what she called "Grandmama Spider". Grandmother Spider is a Cherokee creation deity. Referencing the above horrors and terrors us white folk did and are still doing to the Cherokee people...I will not be following in her footsteps. Individuals like Cat/Catherin Yronwode has perpetrated that Hoodoo is open, and has caused catastrophic issues with her large standing in the American Folk Magic world. A link to an open letter about Cat Yronwode and her severe appropriation/dismissal of the real history of New Orleans Voodoo being "fake" and "not a slave based religion" is here: https://conjureart.blogspot.com/2013/10/open-letter-to-cat-yronwode-and-lucky.html I don't want to pick on any specific religions/groups of people but all you have to do is read through ONE "witchcraft for beginners" book written in America or England and find at least two stolen items from Indigenous Americans AND the BIPOC/Black community. It's THAT common. Totems and Spirit Animals? Not entirely Indigenous but the ones these authors are teaching about ARE. The same goes for the word smudging, when I mention a book has smudging in it I am talking about white sage. White Americans love to use their white sage with an illegal owl feather and a shell to hold their bundle of sage in. The word smudging in of itself comes from the 15th to 16th century Germanic language and was actually talking about using smoke to rid a home or building of insect infestations. The word we SHOULD be using for cleansing with smoke should simply be...smoke cleansing. It avoids the person reading from having to guess if it's appropriated or not.

Having said all of that I guess all of this boils down to one thing: Listen to the voices of the cultures first. If they say something's appropriated? Stop. If they say it's closed? Stop. I have no authority on anything at all, but if I can speak up just once and give others a platform to say, "Hey this is kinda fucked up" I will. It's the least I as a white person can do.

#witchblr #appalachian folk magic #folk magic #buggy answers #tw: slavery #tw: appropriation #tw: atrocities #Whew this one took a while.

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our-trans-youth-experience · 27 days

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I had this conversation with a “friend” almost a week ago but I’m still thinking about it. I’m openly trans to her, and she seems to have accepted me (she’s cis but also queer so ig it’s not that big of a deal to her).

Then one day she suddenly goes on this very serious rant about, well, basically a lot of iffy exclusionist takes (e.g: “there are only ‘two genders and three sets of pronouns’ [???], people can use they/them prns but nonbinary isn’t actually a ‘real thing,’ homosexuality and transness aren’t normal because we were all born to reproduce” or some bullshit like that, etc. etc. etc.) I was trying to gently counter her ideas and explain the other side of things, but she clearly didn’t want to listen. I was extremely uncomfortable and trying to segue out of the conversation at some point but she literally just wouldn’t let me. After she was done, she asked me “Do you agree?” in like the most demanding voice possible, like I had to comply with her. When I said I didn’t, she was almost taken aback, as if I hadn’t been trying to get her to consider another, kinder, less-exclusionist viewpoint the entire time. After hearing and analyzing her rant, I realize that she’s influenced by transphobic ideas a lot more than I thought, and just because she doesn’t misgender me or other binary trans people (who more or less pass, might I add) doesn’t really make her any better.

It’s a weird feeling to have, knowing that this “friend” isn’t really a friend anymore (I know it was just one conversation, but from that alone, I don’t think things are going to improve and I’m not sticking around with her to see if they get worse). I’m not a confrontational person and even after that she still talks to me, but now that she’s shown that she likes to gatekeep labels, identities, and speak like she dictates other people’s lives, I’m definitely not comfortable with her anymore.

That's fair enough, you should only stick around people that accept you for who you are and who you are comfortable with. It isn't right to have friends who gatekeep, control, gaslight or manipulate you and make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

Gender is an individual experience, so in my opinion (which granted is very much shaped by the fact that I am autistic), there are infinite genders. Not neatly arranged from masculine to feminine on a scale but a bunch of individuals on a huge spectrum in which no two experiences are the same.

#trans youth #our trans youth experience #trans kids #transgender #enby #nonbinary #trans #transmasc #queer #transfem #gender identity #transphobia

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cinnamon-phrog · 12 days

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Saw you like one of my posts, glad you're still here even if it's just another day. Had me scared shitless worried

I had a lot I wanted to say but my laptop froze and reset again. And for the past few days I've had an awful headache and it's only now began to subside.

I've been coming on to try to reply to my friends because a staff member at my housing told me it's best I do so the sooner the better and I didn't want to worry people even though I already have, a lot.

I feel much safer now, although due to my situation and the staff at my housing not being able to leave the house, and my 'outreach support' worker being weird with what days she's free she'll ask me what day I personally want before tsking when I say for example Monday and say 'ooooooh I can't do Monday. How about all the way to Thursday' like girl you ASKED come ON.]

I've been feeling really tired despite getting eight or nine hours sleep and staying in all week. But I'm slowly getting less so the further I try to stop feeling so awful.

In my original version of this reply I wrote about everyone who hurt me. Without naming names. Because ever since I took matters into my own hands and found the courage to tell my old school and social worker what my foster carer was doing to me I've had this rage.

This feeling that these people have stolen something from me and I want to get it back by telling people what they've all done. And I'll finally get all those petty thoughts out because they've been stewing in me and I can only let them go if I write them down. I'll get embarrassed later but that's the point. If I cringe I move on. If people agree with me I feel closure. If people read it it I'll feel seen. Advice on how to move on is welcomed but not obligatory.

In getting removed from my foster carer who told me there was no way I could cross a street without holding her hand or being near her or ever have my own autonomy to going to places I want to go to on my own and living my own life almost as I want a piece of me I didn't know was taken has been given back.

But I can't get back at my school bullies. The 'friends' in school who ignored me and belittled me for their own gratification. I can't make the boys and girls who groped me simply ungrope me. Neither do I want them to experience what they did to me out of karma because it's a sick thought.

The proshit who thinks I give a shit can never take back what they said or undraw all the things they've drawn. For pretending to be my friend and giving me advice and telling me the world won't hurt me only to tell me they were a nonce all along. How can I have faith in the world when the only one to give me that faith turned out to be a monster. Who lashes out when they're not given attention AND when they're given attention. And stalks my account because now they claim to s/elfship with the trio and have stolen my 🚦🏠 tag [I have screenshots, posts, blogs, names, the lot. That can be another post if you're curious and I'm fully recovered]

No gatekeeper will ever apologise for standing 'by' me only to vaguepost that they hate people with similar or the same headcanons as me. In fact they're praised for it by even people I considered to be friends of mine.

My ex will never apologise for writing out my name in their public blog, after I'd been more or less a therapist to them. After they told me they had something 'special' planned only for it to be a huge google doc full of reasons why I made them want to kill themselves and how awful a person I am. They will never apologise because they didn't know I had no experience with these sorts of things.

I broke up with them because not only was I afraid of being bombarded with so much love was because I'd never been shown it. How I was always treated like a thing to be put away by 'friends' and my foster 'family' and so I learned to be soft. Malleable for you, for them. But I didn't want to be.

They'll never apologise for drawing Duck upset because I'm so so awful. For writing things like 'You could have had a second chance if you weren't like this, I'm poly, you and my current partner could have shared me' which is. Bonkers and petty.

My foster carer is the only person I've gotten closure from, despite her never saying sorry. For making me stay locked in my room all day, for making fun of my weight despite it being her fault, making me bathe once a week, now I bathe as regularly as I can. For calling me names and blaming me for things out of my control or for something I never did just to have someone to scream at. She'd come up with a disgusting reason and force me to write it down and her own reason why I wanted to do what she thought I did.

I am constantly told I shouldn't assume. Fuck you. I can't control that. I lived in a house where I had to walk on eggshells, in a school where I'd be humiliated but I was never allowed to retaliate. How dare you.

How dare my ex, and this one petty gatekeeping popular bitch use them taking their own life against me and blame me for how I feel. I can tell you right now you've flipped tis on it's head. But I'm living because unlike you I won't leave my friends and I actually bothered to take that step and make them.

How dare this ONE person on here pretend to be one of their own cronies and tell me I'll make them kill themselves because I had the audacity to ask if they were the same person who said if people see a fictional character as anything other than a foetus to get out of the d/hmis fandom. I still didn't get a no 'Hannah Montana' and I meant nothing as maliciously as you perceived me to be. I left college because of you. You broke my last bit of perseverance and now I have nothing. The last thing I wanted to be was someone who would want to drive someone to suicide and in saying that to me you've become someone who both proshit and I agree is a bitch. Despite me not agreeing with anything else and hating you both.

I'm told to let it go but I can't.

But if they all said sorry, and meant it, I still wouldn't believe any of them, and I wouldn't forgive them.

I've never had an apology, never a sincere one. But I always apologise, I always mean it. I've always had this earnest sincerity but nearly everyone I've tried to stand up against has such an ironic, pitiful outlook to the point where I nearly adopted it.

They all see themselves either so highly they're gods, how everything they do is so Out There and incredible [I'd almost envy them all if I wasn't feeling so sorry for them, and it didn't impair their ability to actually make friends instead of stewing in their own sour air in their own little bubbles] or so lowly it circles back to being egocentric. So afraid to change, made a step, even just a little one, out of their comfort zones.

And it's bled into me. But I refuse it.

I can't talk to my friends because I'm afraid they're like all of you. But I know they're not. But then again, I always assume the worst, don't I. Always. But can't you assume why?

But I'll try to talk more. Keep reaching out to me, a beg you. It helps so much and I am so grateful to have met such kind people despite all the awful people I've mentioned I've met.

I met my amazing R/ed D/warf mutuals not long after my ex gave me that glorified bible of every reason why I am awful for having left them. I felt horrible but you guys taught me I wasn't. II am not. And thanks to that I became more comfortable, I became more active in the s//elfship community because I gained more experience with people, getting me more friends. I'm still not as outgoing as I wish I could be but I promise you all that I love you /plat.

Even though people like me, I still don't like me. But it's still better than thinking nobody likes me.

I still have my hope and sincerity, and in writing this forb the past two or three hours I've felt so much better.

#let me know if anything needs to be tagged #i've been writing for hours jesus fucking christ #i am back. i plan to stay. i won't say such awful things again #it's good to finally say what i've wanted to say to all those people who've hurt me out in the open #instead of just hidden in tags or vaguely mentioned #in fact. i don't think i'll mention it again #until i'm finally fully over it all

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