#our trans youth experience

[our-trans-youth-experience]

teenage trans guy here with a burning question (btw crazy ive never seen a blog like this before. you are doing wonders)

what should i resort to for binding if :

a) i have rib damage and breathing problems due to my inexperience binding and lack of research

b) have tried transtape with terrible results

c) physically cant bind with sports bras due to previously mentioned lung issues

i cant afford top surgery. im not even out to my family as a trans man, and i know i dont have to bind to be able to pass but its getting increasingly harder to be in public and pass as a man. thanks for your help if you end up responding to this 🏳️‍⚧️

Hey there dude, welcome and thanks for your support. I try and get through all of my asks, but I am doing full-time school at the same time too, so sorry for any delay in responding. Since you seem to have not seen many of these style of blogs, I'd recommend @our-transgender-experiences @our-transmasculine-experience @our-trans-punk-experience and @our-queer-experience .

This is a difficult ask and first let me take a moment to warn people against unsafe binding because of this.

Now for my advice to you - don't double down on the bad binding practices - no duct tape I REPEAT NO DUCT TAPE - I suggest trying to create an overall boxier, angular less curvy silhouette - this can be done by working out, particularly chest and other upper body exercises - or by layering clothes that have structured fronts (tshirts with large laminated design panels, utility vests, jackets with big chest pockets) Also, I wouldn't completely write trans tape off, it's a skill you can get better at with a little practice :)

#our trans youth experience #trans #trans youth #transgender #trans kids #enby #nonbinary #transmasc #queer #our experience blogs #chest binding #bind safely #trans boy #dysphoria #protect trans youth #protect trans kids #protect trans lives #protect trans rights #transblr #trans masc #trans stuff #trans guy

[gendergirlie]

I'm not usually serious on my blog, but I need to vent.

With so many trans kids getting killed and the media being as dogshit as usual, it worries me about mine and others safety. I'm not openly trans. My town is pretty okay. pretty pro-LGBT...but nobody ever knows. Anyone could get murdered for being who they are. And that scares me. I'm scared to come out, scared to be open... Hell, I'm even scared to talk to my therapist about shit like this because I'm worried my father will somehow find out. I'm scared to do anything. Go out in public, walk to school, walk home, even go out with friends. And speaking of. My friends are all worried for their lives. All of us, thinking of ending it all. Right here, right now, on our own terms. All because of shitty people with shitty beliefs, all thinking that because we're different, we're a threat.

This shit has to stop

This isn't 'kids being kids'

This is murder.

We need to stop murdering people because they're different.

Justice for Nex Benedict.

Justice for Brianna Ghey.

Justice for Jacob Williamson

May they all rest in power. And may their murderers never know peace.

#trans #nex benedict #transgender #trans rights #this is what we’re fighting against #this is murder #not 'kids being kids' #justice for jacob williamson #justice for nex benedict #justice for brianna ghey #may they fly sky high. #jacob williamson #brianna ghey #our trans youth experience #enby

[m0onjellies]

Weird seeing blatant transphobia in ur class…

#like my friend is pretty open abt their gender #like ppl know theyre nb #and theyre fine with them #but those same ppl will also say that they dont believe in our existance and dont care abt disrespcting us #and the blatant transphobia guy got kicked out of class #but after that his friends asked my nb friend how they felt abt this bc theyre nb #like the dichotomy between experiences is insane #this was all in a classroom where my teacher has my handmade protect trans youth poster in it #ares.txt

[birdmenmanga]

not me sending myself to eeby deeby at 5 am by thinking too hard about chorus

#just thinking thoughts... #i mean what's new right. this hasn't happened in a while so it was about time #but i feel like a core concept of it is 'the endlings of suffering' #where you know. when awful things come to an end and things are better for the next generation #but there is that one last generation that gets to suffer. and like how do you cope with that #i think i feel this way a lot with art. born just too late to participate in the traditional manga publishing scene #born just too early to learn the ropes of digital art. #born just in time for everything i learned about traditional art to go obsolete as I'm trying to begin making a living #i feel this way about being transgender too #my generation was probably one of the last to not have trans people #we just didn't know that was a possibility and it wasn't normalized yet #but the internet exploded and became widely accessible to the youth and like. it's socially acceptable to be trans now #it's normal to have some trans kids in your class now #and i wouldn't want it any other way #but i just wish you know. WE got to experience that too. but we were just a bit too early. #we were the endlings of the long loneliness of being different from our peers and not knowing why #i dunno. it's like how my mom is in the last generation of people to have polio. #like there's a vaccine for it now and there are virtually no new cases #it's a specific kind of grief that's like. I'm so happy for you. i just wish i got to partake in it too #anyways. eating sand. everyone ignore me.

[it-is-only-a-novel]

Our X experience blogs master post

There are a bunch of our-_-experince blogs that are totally awesome, and I haven't seen a master post yet. So here goes, in no particular order:

our-queer-experience

our-abinary-experience

our-nonbinary-experience

our-genderqueer-experience

our-genderfluid-experience

our-aroace-experience

our-transmasculine-experience

our-transfeminine-experience

@our-maverique-experience

@our-sapphic-experience

@transsexual-experiences

@our-bigender-experience

@our-genderflux-experience

@our-multigender-experience

@our-mspec-experience

@our-asexual-experience

@our-transhet-experience

@our-transgender-experiences

@our-xenogender-experience

@our-unlabelled-experience

@our-mlm-experience

@our-t4t-experience

@our-bisexual-experience

@our-aromantic-experience

@our-queerplatonic-experience

@our-demiboy-experience

@our-outherly-experience

@our-lgbtq-brazilian-experience

@our-questioning-experience

@our-abro-experience

@our-pansexual-experience

@our-afab-transfem-experience

@our-polyamorous-experience

@our-boyflux-experience

@our-voidpunk-experience

@our-agender-experience

@our-aplatonic-experience

@our-butch-experience

@our-futch-experience

@our-femme-experience

@our-androgyne-experience

@our-demigirl-experience

@our-loveless-experience

@our-gnc-experience

@our-gay-experience

@our-neurogender-experience

@our-lesbian-experience

@our-otherkin-experience

@our-amicus-experience

@our-fictionkin-experience

@our-ambiamorous-experience

@our-sapphillean-experience

@our-trans-youth-experience

@our-aspec-experience

@our-greyromantic-experience

@our-oriented-aroace-experience

@transfem-experience

I know I've missed some, and new ones will probably pop up. So tag them in the comments/reblogs, and I'll update the post.

I used this post to help me out.

There's a maximum amount of blogs I can tag. As more blogs are added I'll untag earlier ones and leave a link to them instead.

Update: 12/4/2024

I recommend you check that you're rebloging the most updated version.

#queer #our_experince blogs #abinary #nonbinary #genderqueer #genderfluid #aroace #aromantic #asexual #transmasculine #transfeminine #maverique #sapphic #transsexual #bigender #genderflux #multigender #mspec #transhet #transgender #xenogender #unlabeled #mlm #t4t #bi #queerplatonic

[estrogenism]

yes you love and cherish trans people but are you normal about intersex people, who are significantly more likely to be trans than a perisex person (at least in terms of intersex youth)?

do you acknowledge that they are directly targeted by many bills that also target trans people or do you say that they're just another group being indirectly targeted by anti-trans bills?

do you say that no kids are being forced on hrt or do you acknowledge that intersex babies are often forced on hrt?

do you acknowledge that intersex people can often have a complex experience with gender or do you just scream "intersex people can be cis too!!" whenever an intersex trans person tells you to stop disregarding their unique relationship with gender?

do you see a post asking for people to listen to intersex people and respond without sexualizing us or do you conflate your allyship with sexuality by saying "yeah i'd totally fuck an intersex person!"?

do you call animals with intersex conditions "trans icons" or do you actually acknowledge their intersex conditions?

do you treat us like human beings or do you ask us invasive questions about our genitals like we're some kind of lab rats?

do you listen when we tell you not to call us hermaphrodites or do you just make the excuse that animals are called hermaphrodites so you should be allowed to call us that too?

do you acknowledge intersex transfems and transmascs regardless of their casab or do you screech about how intersex people are co-opting your terms?

do you try and group intersex people under terms like amab/afab and tme/tma without acknowledging their actual experiences or do you just yell about how intersex people are trying to take your language away? (edit: this also includes very conveniently not mentioning intersex people's concerns and experiences when yelling about this)

do you acknowledge that not all intersex people are white? do you care about intersex poc?

do you care about us outside of the times that you can use us against transmisic people as a gotcha?

#lelei speaks ★ #intersexism #intersex #intersexism cw #transmisia #transmisia cw #transphobia

[itgetsbetterproject]

“Today is the day to make sure that the trans community is visible for who they are and what we stand for. Today is the day to make sure that a trans person in your community feels seen and that their opinions and ideas are heard. Today is the day to make sure that the trans community is seen and most importantly heard in any level of legislation, especially if our rights are up for debate.” 

Kiki (she/her), 14 yo Youth Voice from New Jersey

🏳️‍⚧️ Today is #TransDayofVisibility.

So, what exactly does that mean in a year when we've already been made VERY visible by lawmakers, school officials, and in the media? We asked around in our community. This year, it means...

🟣 Intentionally LISTENING to trans people (including trans youth) about our own personal stories, feelings, and experiences is so vital.

🟣 Allies need to stand UP and speak out alongside us - sometimes it's not safe for us to do so.

🟣 We need to engage with and share more trans content and uplift trans content creators to learn from each other and educate allies - we have amazing streamers weekly on our Twitch, tons of stories on Youtube, and a whole trans and nonbinary playlist on TikTok!

🟣 We need to share resources to support one another. We have an entire database of over 1,000 LGBTQ+ organizations on our Get Help page that you can filter by issue area and location, including a page just for trans and GNC people at itgetsbetter.org/gethelp. Save it for yourself and share with friends.

🟣 We're not going to stop celebrating trans joy...

🟣 And while we know hate is being projected by a vocal minority, there are still plenty of people who have our backs.

#itgetsbetter #tdov #trans #transyouth #transkids #protecttranskids #transally #lgbtq #queer #queeryouth

[hyperlexichypatia]

This post reminded me of it, but my partner has observed that in contemporary gender discourse, maleness is so linked to adulthood and femaleness is so linked to childhood, that there are no "boys" or "women," only "men" and "girls."

This isn't exactly new -- for as long as patriarchy has existed, women have been infantilized, and "adult woman" has been treated as something of an oxymoron. Hegemonic beauty standards for women emphasize youthfulness, if not actual neoteny, and older women are considered "too old" to be attractive without ever quite being old enough to make their own decisions. There may be cultural allowances for the occasional older "wise woman," but a "wise woman" is always dangerously close to being a madwoman, or a witch. No matter how wise a woman is, she is never quite a rational agent. As Hanna K put it, "as a woman you're always either too young or too old for things, because the perfect age is when you're a man."

But the framing of underage boys as "men" has shifted, depending on popular conceptualizations of childhood and gender roles. Sometimes children of any gender are essentially feminized and grouped with women (the entire framing of "women and children" as a category). In the U.S. in the 21st century, the rise of men's rights and aggressively sexist ideology has correlated with an increased emphasis on little boys as "men" -- thus slogans like "Teach your son to be a man before his teacher teaches him to be a woman."

Of course, thanks to ageism and patriarchy (which literally means, not "rule by men," but "rule by fathers"), boys don't get any of the social benefits of being considered "men." They don't get to vote, make their own medical decisions, or have any of their own adult rights. They might have a little more childhood freedom than girls, if they're presumed to be sturdier and less vulnerable to "predators," but, for the most part, being considered "men" as young boys doesn't really get boys any more access to adult rights. What it does get them is aggressively gender-policed, often with violence. A little boy being "a man" means that he's not allowed to wear colors, have feelings, or experience the developmental stages of childhood.

This shifts in young adulthood, as boys forced into the role of "manhood" become actual men. As I've written about, I believe the trend of considering young adults "children" is harmful to everyone, but primarily to young women, young queer and trans people, and young disabled people. Abled, cisgender, heterosexual young men are rarely denied the rights and autonomy of adulthood due to "brain maturity."

What's particularly interesting is that, because transphobes misgender trans people as their birth-assigned genders, they constantly frame trans girls as "men" and trans men as "girls." A 10 year old trans girl on her elementary school soccer team is a "MAN using MAN STRENGTH on helpless GIRLS," while a 40 year old trans man is a "Poor confused little girl." Anyone assigned male at birth is born a scary, intimidating adult, while anyone female assigned at birth never becomes old enough to make xyr own decisions.

Feminist responses have also really fluctuated. Occasionally, feminists have played into the idea of little boys as "men," especially in trans-exclusionary rhetoric, or in one notorious case where members of a women's separatist compound were warned about "a man" who turned out to be a 6-month-old infant. There's periodic discourse around "Empowering our girls" or "Raising our boys with gentle masculinity," but for the most part, my problem with mainstream feminist rhetoric in general is that it tends to frame children solely as a labor imposed on women by men, not as subjects (and specifically, as an oppressed class) at all.

Second-wave feminists pushed back hard on calling adult women "girls" -- but they didn't necessarily view "women" as capable of autonomous decision-making, either. Adult women were women, but they might still need to be protected from their own false consciousness. As laws in the U.S., around medical privacy and autonomy, like HIPAA, started more firmly linking the concepts of autonomy with legal adulthood, and fixing the age of majority at 18, third-wave feminists embraced referring to women as "girls." Sometimes this was in an intentionally empowering way ("girl power," "girl boss"), which also served to shield women (mostly white, mostly bourgeois/wealthy) from criticism of their participation in racism and capitalism. But it also served to reinforce the narrative of women as "girls" needing to be protected from "men" (and their own choices).

I'm still hoping for a feminist politic that is pro-child, pro-youth, pro-disability, pro-autonomy, pro-equality, that rejects the infantilization of women, the adultification of boys, the objectification of children, the misgendering of trans people, and the imposition of gender roles.

#youth rights #ageism #feminism #sexism #intersectionality #capitalism #body autonomy #bodily autonomy

[the-genderflux-experience]

Master list of all the "our __ experience" lgbtq+ blogs

These are all the active and inclusive/friendly queer blogs I could find. If I listed any that are exclusionist or otherwise bad or are just inactive, please let me know so I can remove them. This list is intended to help queer people find active and inviting communities to participate in and feel safe in. If you know more feel free to add them in the reblogs and/or tell me them so I can add them. Please spread this around, I worked very hard on compiling this list, and this may help people find the community for them here on Tumblr.

🏳️‍🌈 Overall community

@our-queer-experience

@our-lgbtq-brazilian-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Aromantic and/or asexual

@aroacesafeplaceforall

@our-arospec-experience

@our-asexual-experience

@our-oriented-aroace-experience

@our-aroace-experience

@unionize-aromantically

@our-demiromantic-experience

@our-demian-experience

@our-amicus-experience

@our-grey-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Gay/lesbian

@our-lesbian-experience

@our-gay-experience

@our-lesboy-experience

@our-gaybian-experience

@our-mlm-experience

@our-sapphic-experience

@our-achillean-experience

@our-butch-experience

@our-sapphillean-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Transgender

@our-transgender-experiences

@transsexual-experiences

@our-transfeminine-experience

@our-transmasculine-experience

@our-trans-youth-experience

@our-trans-punk-experience

@our-transhet-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Genderfluid (and related)

@our-genderfluid-experience

@the-genderflux-experience

@our-boyflux-experience

@our-genderfawn-experience

@our-genderfae-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Demigender

@our-demigirl-experience

@our-demiboy-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Agender

@our-agender-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Multigender

@our-multigender-experience

@your-bigender-big-brother

@yourbigendergremlet

🏳️‍🌈 Nonbinary

@our-nonbinary-experience

@our-genderqueer-experience

@our-androgyne-experience

@our-abinary-experience

@our-maverique-experience

🏳️‍🌈 More sexualities

@our-pansexual-experience

@our-bisexual-experience

@our-mspec-experience

🏳️‍🌈Polyamory (and related)

@our-polyamorous-experience

@our-ambiamorous-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Neurodivergence

@our-neuroqueer-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Other/random

@our-queerplatonic-experience

@gender-envy-is

@our-unlabelled-experience

@our-xenogender-experience

@our-questioning-experience

@our-outherly-experience

#lgbtq+ community #our experience blogs #lgbtq+ #queer

[our-trans-youth-experience]

while i was in philippines my ma encountered an old friend and she introduced me like "this is my kid" and the friend looked at me and called me guapo (handsome)

literally cannot get better than that

That's awesome my guy!

#philippines #trans #trans youth #transgender #trans kids #enby #nonbinary #transmasc #queer #trans joy #transblr #trans masc #trans nonbinary #trans pride #trans stuff #transman #transmasculine #guapo #our trans youth experience #protect trans rights #protect trans lives #protect trans youth #pronouns #protect trans kids

[queeryouthresources]

Tumblr Blogs To Follow For Queer Youth

If you would like to be added to or removed from this list please let me know!

I tried to sort by the blogs' main purpose so people can easily find what they're looking for, but there's obviously some overlap. If you think your blog is listed under the wrong category please tell me and I'll move it.

Community/Safe Space Blogs

@our-queer-experience and similar "our _ experience" blogs (masterpost here)

@yourdailyqueer

@trans-joy-is

@aroacesafeplaceforall

@transgender-vent-blog

Advice/Resource Blogs

@queer-advice-hotline

@letters-to-lgbt-kids

@transgenderteensurvivalguide

@transmasc-advice-blog

@intersex-support

@transfloridaresources (usa, florida)

History Blogs

@makingqueerhistory (website here)

@queer-trans-history

@alittlegayhistoria

Sex-Ed Blogs

@hellyeahscarleteen (website here)

Political/Activist/Org Blogs

(currently mostly usa-based blogs)

@itgetsbetterproject (international) (website here)

@queeryouthassemble (usa) (website here)

@queerliblib (usa) (website here)

@transformationsproject (usa) (website here)

Queer Literature Blogs

@lgbtqreads (website here)

@sapphicbookclub

@transbookoftheday

@the-bi-library

@qbdatabase

Just finding these blogs was difficult and I'm only one person so if you run/follow any helpful queer blogs not on the list already let me know so I can add them!

Especially blogs in the sex-ed category or the political/activist/org category that aren't usa-based.

Edit: Someone in the notes tagged some queer literature blogs, so I added a category for queer lit.

#queer youth resources #queer #queer community #lgbtq #lgbtq community

[queeryouthautonomy]

We're starting a protest!

Visit queeryouthassemble.org to learn how to join us, and send us an ask or email us at [email protected] with any questions!

Photo credits and alt text available under the cut:

📸 credits, used with permission: 

All art by the incredible @jesseyoungpaulson 

Slide 6: @cpagsa during their walkout, March 2022

Slide 7: @lgbtatorr during their walkout, as QYA Head of Teams @alia.cusolito gives a speech, March 2022

Slide 8: @briggs_padilla from their walkout, March 2022

Slide 9 and 10: @alia.cusolito from Let Trans Athletes Play, August 2022

Alt text:

Slide 1

A digital art piece showing a diverse group of queer youth is overlayed with text reading, “March for Queer & Trans Youth Autonomy, March 31 2023, All 50 States, Uniting as One.” 

Slide 2

The background is a rainbow gradient with  a digital art piece showing three queer youth. The text reads, “It’s time we create one of the largest queer youth marches in history! Uniting every queer and trans young person under the common goals of safety, autonomy, joy.” 

Slide 3

A rainbow gradient with a small digital art piece in the corner of three queer youth. The text reads, “The queer & trans community has been upended by a series of devastating laws, detrimental legislation, and queerphobic attacks designed to make the lives of queer & trans youth as unbearable as possible. Each and every queer & trans youth serving org has  responded in their own ways, prompting walkouts, protests, legislative challenges, organizational statements, and other rebuttals in an attempt to swing the momentum. Now it’s time to unite our communities powerful work and collectively advocate for youth as one!”

Slide 4

A rainbow gradient overlayed with text reading, “This march will center the voices of queer and trans youth.” This is followed by a bulleted list saying the following, “Marches will be held at capitol buildings & in major cities in all 50 states. Queer & trans youth will share their stories, experiences, and demands to the masses.  Everyone from adults to allies to politicians will march in solidarity. State & national orgs will organize these marches, while students will organize walkouts at their schools.”

Slide 5

A rainbow gradient overlayed with text reading, “Queer and trans youth will receive the spotlight to advocate for their safety, their joy, and their autonomy. The tidal wave that these marches will create, combined with the  political & media spotlight on queer & trans youth, will drown the conservative narratives that have dominated the fight until now. In their place, queer & trans youth voices, stories, interviews, testimony, films, books, will all rise to show the lives and share the stories of queer & trans youth. We will be front and center.” 

Slide 6

An image of students from @cpagsa during QYA’s National Queer Youth Walkout is overlayed with text and a list of checkboxes reading, “Youth! If you are an activist, are in your school’s GSA and/or have been impacted anti queer & trans youth speech, legislation, or laws then we invite you to join our queer & trans youth led march planning committees! Visit queeryouthassemble.org for more information.” 

Slide 7

An image of students at Old Rochester Regional’s walkout, with QYA Head of Teams Alia Cusolito giving a speech, overlayed by text which reads, “ Queer & trans youth listening sessions. January 7th, 2023, 4pm EST, January 11th, 2023, 8pm EST, January 15th, 2023, 4pm EST, and January 21st, 2023, 10pm EST. We invite queer & trans youth across the country to join us at our march listening sessions, where we will be brainstorming a list of demands for the march. Once completed, the list will be circulated across the country, and signed by politicians & organizations to pledge their commitment to queer & trans youth. Register by clicking the link in our bio or visiting queeryouthassemble.org. 

Slide 8

An image of students during the walkout in March, overlayed with text and checkboxes reading, “Adults! If you have an LGBTQ+ kid, support queer & trans youth autonomy, and/or want a safe and loving future for your children then we invite you to donate to Queer Youth Assemble! Visit queeryouthassemble.org to donate.”

Slide 9

An image of queer youth attending Queer Youth Assemble’s Let Trans Athletes Play event in August overlayed with text and checkboxes reading, “Orgs! If you support queer and trans youth autonomy, have BIPOC, trans, or disabled leadership, and/or have experience planning marches or major events, then we invite you to plan a March at your state’s capitol/major city! Visit queeryouthassemble.org to sign your org up. 

Slide 10 

An image of queer youth attending Queer Youth Assemble’s Let Trans Athletes Play event in August overlayed with text and checkboxes reading, “What can I do? Visit queeryouthassemble.org, share this post on your socials, and/or donate to support the march.”

#protest #activism #activists #psa #queer #queer pride #queer youth #trans #trans rights #gay rights #don't say gay #protect trans kids #lgbt #lgbtq #social issues #social justice #walkout #healthcare #trans healthcare #youth rights

[tackletofset]

If I had to choose one word to describe "Dark Heir," it would be 'OTHERWORLDLY.'

[There will be NO SPOILERS in this Review, only vague hints]

“Critiquing the idea of a classic hero and a reclaiming of the queer villain”

These words are written under the blurb of the very ARC. Sadly, most people are still missing the point.

Dark Rise is my true love in the form of a book series. 

As a queer person who grew up sympathizing with villains (who are often queer-coded), this book series undoubtedly serves as a great form of escapism. I feel seen and understood. I found a home here.

Reading Dark Heir was a surreal experience, almost like a sudden storm hitting me all at once. It was like being pulled into a whirlwind. It is everything I could ever wish for!!!

I devoured this book in just TWO DAYS, which is unexpected given my typically SLOW reading pace. It's worth noting that Dark Heir is considerably longer than Dark Rise (with Dark Rise comprising 34 chapters and Dark Heir containing 51). It is also fueled by my eagerness to continue the story after a two-year wait, particularly following that cliffhanger!

Will has always been my favourite character since "Dark Rise," and this sequel only amplifies it. I perceive his struggles with the truth of his identity, as a metaphor for internalized queerphobia. Many queer youth, including myself, have been told that our queerness is evil and abhorrent, leading us to hide and deny our true selves in the pursuit of acceptance from others. Will's yearning for his friends' acceptance, especially from Violet, his best friend.

Many of us would be delighted to see that James has POV chapters in this book! It's great to see his perspective on not only his feelings about Will or Sarcean but also about his family history.

I'm equally excited about introducing the new character, Visander, and I'm thrilled that he can be interpreted as trans. Knowing that CS Pacat identifies as genderqueer/non-binary, I would like to see him writing more trans-coded characters. Visander is a character who fascinates me, as there are times when he can be both lovable and yet totally frustrates me.

Praise Pacat (again), who has been so generous to give us the “Surprise POVs” which made me scream and jump up and down at 2 a.m.

I seriously love the parts where we got to explore more of the Old World. The twists within them are both surprising and, in a way, expected. I've always held the belief that history was written by the victors, and as a result, the truth about the Dark King and the Betrayer was also lost in time. It was also very gratifying to see that the characters that were once hailed as the paragons of virtue were not so saint-like after all.

I hate classic heroes. I despise them and I won't even try to hide it.

Doubtlessly, the Old World chapters are my favourites. And I yearn to have even more of them in Book 3 because I want to know more details about how Sarcean came to power- and his downfall, and the full truth about his relationship with Anharion! I wouldn't mind the book stretching to 60+ chapters to accommodate it.

Pacat has indeed delivered on his promises to infuse this sequel with even more "on-page gay" content, so readers need not fret about the shortage of romance. They are plentiful, to say the least.

Now, returning to my initial point:

!!!Dark Rise is not a story about escaping an abusive male partner!!!

While numerous stories tackle this theme, and it is worth telling, this is not one of them.

This is a story about queer people reclaiming their identities. It speaks to those who have been vilified, demonized, alienated, and even disowned from a young age by the very individuals who should have shielded them—their parents and guardians.

They are continuously taught that their queerness is immoral, abhorrent, and despicable, leading them to believe they must conceal and deny their true selves, often feeling as though they are harbingers of evil and thus destined for condemnation. It sheds light on how queer youths grapple with internalized queerphobia due to an environment that refuses to accept them for who they are.

The accusations hurled at the "villainous figures" within this story mirror the stigma that the bigoted society frequently directs at queer individuals: that we’re lewd, vulgar degenerates, disease-spreaders and a danger to children. 

Dark Rise and Dark Heir underscores our society’s twisted morality that the only available paths for queer individuals are either to deny their queerness or face the gravest consequences. In other words: be converted or unalived.

For those of us who have been demonized and alienated by the people who were supposed to protect us—we are not evil. We do not deserve the abuse directed at us, and it is not our fault. There is nothing wrong with us. We deserve happiness, love, safety, and acceptance.

We should all be unapologetic and unafraid of our true selves, like James.

And oH MY GOD. THAT ENDING!!! You think the prologue was crazy??? You wouldn’t LIVE to see that ending.

I have fantasized about *that* final line before, but I thought it was cheesy and that it might be something more like Prince Gambit's "The King! Damianos! He lives!" but it was not like that at all 🤣🤣🤣

It's my dream cheesy line 💜💜💜

#dark rise #dark heir #cs pacat #will kempen #james st clair #sarcean #anharion #violet ballard #cyprian #visander #captive prince #laurent of vere #damianos of akielos #dr theory #mine

[nerdygaymormon]

Bishops Council

In my stake, twice a quarter the bishops get together with the stake presidency. I typically do not attend this meeting, but stake president invited me to come since one of the bishops had added "counsel with LGBT youth" as an agenda item.

The stake president has a gay son and is fully capable of speaking to this, but I appreciate that he wanted to include the point of view of someone who is queer.

When we got to this topic, the stake president shared a few slides I had sent him earlier based on some research done at Utah State University.

The stake president then spoke about things he has learned as the dad of a gay child. Primarily that it is his job to love, and his son is going to have his own journey. The things he has learned as the parent of a queer child has helped him be a better stake president.

One of the bishops shared that when he was newly called three years ago that I sent him an email with 10 suggestions. He keeps that email bookmarked and has referred to it several times over the years. It helped him understand his role and that he could be confident in meeting with queer individuals and help them feel seen, loved, and valued. Then he read the list while wiping away tears, and I also was moved to tears to hear him share how impactful these suggestions were for him

David's list of 10 suggestions for bishops

All LGBT members need a trusted adult in their life who loves, supports and sustains them, no matter which path they choose.

When someone “comes out” they should be greeted with love, validation and hope, not a lecture on repentance or reminder of the Church’s stance on same-sex marriage  

Create a safe culture for the LGBT person. This could include speaking to youth and YSA about what sort of conversation their bishop would have with them if they come out, that it’s okay if now is not the right time to come out, and there is no shame to the person or their family if they are gay/trans. There's a good chance there's some LGBT people in your ward, even if you don't know who they are.

Don’t use words like “struggling” or say they’ll be “fixed” in the resurrection

Our Heavenly Parents love their LGBT children, we should give them unconditional love and support and recognize they will bless the lives of others

LGBT individuals are more likely to be the victims of bullying and violence than any other minority group in the USA. Be on the lookout for youth or young adults who may be doing & saying unkind things.  

Know the signs of suicide and depression. LGBT people are at much higher risk. It’d be a good idea for youth leaders to have some training in this.

Encourage them to pray and ask if God loves them as they are 

Especially before or after lessons about marriage, say something like “I know there are people in this ward who cannot be married because of same-sex attraction or other reasons. I love you, and the Lord has a plan for you.”

Know that studies show that being active in the LDS church is often detrimental to the mental health and quality of life for LGBT people. For a person’s well-being, they may decide they need a break. Make sure they know they’re welcome to come back.

I then blurted out, "I'm gay, just in case anyone didn't know." A counselor in the stake presidency said, "Duh, we all know you're a happy guy."

Another bishop shared that he has a child who recently came out as trans and is in their first semester of college. This child hasn't fully discussed this with the family but is using this time away to experiment with what feels right to them. He loves this child and wants them to be their best and to be comfortable with themselves and it's taking some adjustments for him to understand and change his dreams for them.

Then my bishop shared that I had given him the same 10 suggestions when he was first called and he feels it has helped him be successful as a bishop to queer youth. He shared an incident that happened recently which involved a young women leader overhearing part of a conversation between two teens. He didn't share the specifics of the discussion other than it was about being gay. The leader was uncomfortable with what she heard and spoke about it at ward council.

Another bishop commented, "Oh yes, ward council, that's the right place to discuss that" as he rolled his eyes.

The stake president said a better approach would've been for the leader to ask the girls to share more with her, to be open to a conversation with them, rather than run to the ward council to share how shocked and uncomfortable she was.

I thought it was a good discussion even though I wound up saying very little. I had prepared some thoughts ahead of time that I could use as reference, and I sent them by email to the bishops (see below).

————————————————————

There are queer individuals who attend our congregations, many of whom aren't out to everyone, and so you speak to queer people even if you don't know who they are.

We are children of God, we deserve to hear good news, to have hope, to feel loved. Unfortunately that doesn’t happen often enough in church settings. People who interacted with Christ left feeling uplifted and that would be a good goal for us.

In 2019, the former stake president said this in Bishops' Council: LGBT individuals are some of the most patient people you’ll ever meet. They’ve heard more hurtful words than most any of us will hear in our entire lifetime. That doesn’t mean they’re immune to the words. There are LGBT members who come to church and they deserve to hear good words, to be welcomed and loved and be strengthened in the gospel.

Handbook 38.6.15 The Church encourages families and members to reach out with sensitivity, love, and respect to persons who are attracted to others of the same sex. The Church also promotes understanding in society at large that reflects its teachings about kindness, inclusiveness, love for others, and respect for all human beings.

Handbook 38.6.23 Transgender individuals face complex challenges. Members and nonmembers who identify as transgender—and their family and friends—should be treated with sensitivity, kindness, compassion, and an abundance of Christlike love. All are welcome to attend sacrament meeting, other Sunday meetings, and social events of the Church

When my bishop was first called, a member of the ward asked me if I thought the new bishop would be safe to meet with and share his orientation. I sent the bishop an email to find out and received this beautiful response:

David, Thank you for sharing this with me. I hope that the Spirit can guide me to treat LBGTQ members and investigators with love and respect. I’m not sure what your journey has been, but I would guess that it has included anguish, heartbreak and innumerable unintentional and even some intentional wounds. As far as I am aware, I am the only person called to be a judge in the ward, and I believe that office is to help everyone come to Christ, not send any away. I may not fully appreciate how or which traditions and traditional phrases may carry messages of exclusion, but I am open to learning a better way. I hope that I can “make the pathway bright” for LBGTQ members and friends. In hope, Bishop

One of the scariest parts of coming out is not knowing how the other person will respond. The previous stake president at a youth fireside shared how he would react if a person met with him and shared that they are LGBTQ.

I would thank you for trusting me enough to share this with me.

If you're willing, I'd like for you to share with me some about your journey up to this point.

I would offer to give you a blessing.

Regardless of whether you accepted or declined the offer of a blessing, I'm a hugger so I'd ask if I can give you a hug.

I'd invite you to come see me again when you want to talk some more.

Questions many LGBTQ+ members would welcome from their church leaders (these come from the fourth option)

What does being LGBTQIA+ mean for you at this time?

What has been difficult about being an LGBTQIA+ member of the church? What's been fulfilling?

What do you want your future to look like?

What do you believe or want to believe?

What revelation have you received, if any, about your path in life?

What's on your mind related to your sexuality or gender identity and faith?

How has being queer influenced your relationship with Christ?

How can we best support you?

Do you feel safe in our congregation? What can we do to make it safer?

Has anyone said or done anything to make you feel unwanted in the ward?

From what you've observed so far, how can we improve as a ward?

How would you like to be involved in the ward?

What callings would you feel comfortable with?

What skills would you like to use to contribute to our ward? 

What else would you like me to know?

Things ward & stake leaders can do (also from the fourth option)

Pray for guidance on how to make your ward safer and more inclusive for LGBTQIA+ members (out or not)

Call LGBTQIA+ members to callings in a range of auxiliaries

Invite LGBTQIA+ members to share their experiences in fifth Sunday lessons, firesides, ward councils meetings, etc

Encourage your stake to call an LGBTQ fellowship coordinator

Speak to LGBTQIA+ members over the pulpit and in lessons (move away from the "use vs. them" mentality; show that we're part of every ward, out or not)

Include LGBTQIA+ members in discussions about ministering and and outreach

Regularly check in with us to see if anyone is making us feel unsafe

Get to know us personally

Wear a rainbow pin or similar thing to indicate that you're an ally

Speak in support of LGBTQIA+ people and help others remember that we are children of God

Ask your ward or stake to start a support group for LGBTQIA+ members, families, and allies (volunteer to help if possible)

Pray for guidance on how to best minister to LGBTQIA+ individuals in your ward

Pray for God to reveal more about His plan for His LGBTQIA+ children

Correct people when they say uninformed or hateful things

Listen to our stories, sit in our pain, celebrate our joy

Studies show that on average gay men (and I suspect this is true of queer people in general) are more creative, have higher IQ’s and higher emotional intelligence, have more compassion and are more cooperative and have less hostility. Of course someone with these qualities is going to bless the lives around them.

We have a stake group for LGBTQ members, and their family, friends and allies, which meets about every other month. For more information, contact me.

#queerstake

[librarycards]

Hello! Sorry if you’ve posted about this somewhere already/if it’s redundant, but I thought your coinage of “transMad” was very cool and I’m wondering what that term means to you? I’m really happy to see other people talking about madness being intertwined w their gender/transness and looking forward to checking out your reading lists :))

thank you so much for asking about one of my favorite things to infodump about!! rather than rehash a bunch of stuff, if it's okay, I'm going to borrow a few quotes from past!me that i've published in different places // offer you some things of mine to read.

broadly, though, i use transMadness as a way to explore the identificatory, epistemological, methodological, and theoretical implications of an orientation (to use Sara Ahmed's term) toward bodymind noncompliance and self/selves-determination. this orientation refuses to delineate diagnostically between Maddened / transed experiences of the world/our many worlds, and instead takes this shared/overlapping ground as a jumping off point for solidarity and speculation - that is, something that allows us to imagine otherwise worlds / make them manifest through creativity and collaboration.

(Ha, and I claimed i wouldn't talk too much...famous autistic last words)

ANYWAY. here are some clips that might help explain more dimensions of transMadness. note that, in my dissertation-in-progress, i'm focusing on xeno/neogender and/as self-diagnostic cultures among queercrip and transMad internet users. i'm interested in the anti-psych liberatory potential of this digital community work, especially as it centers forms of knowledge and scholarship devalued within Academia Proper, especially because so much of it is made by and for disabled, Mad, queer, trans people, esp. youth. Onward to quotes!

On transMad epistemologies: citation/power/knowledge:

I’ll spend most of this piece looking not at what transMad is, but what it does. First and foremost, transMad cites. Even its name alludes to other portmanteaus: neuroqueer and queercrip being the best-known among them. Many people have offered many different (ever-“working”!) definitions of these terms; today, I offer co-coiner Nick Walker’s (2021) definition of neuroqueer: a verb and an adjective “encompass[ing] the queering of neurocognitive norms as well as gender norms” (p. 196). In terms of queercrip, I also return to its coiner, Carrie Sandahl (2003), who for whom the queercrip (as person and as method/movement) confuses the diagnostic gaze, bears sociopolitical witness, and performs glitchful[4], incongruous, confusing in(ter)ventions into possible community. At base, “queer” and “crip” appear as analogous, reclaimed slurs signifying marginalized transgression. When combined, they describe a loop, perhaps a Möbius strip: crip (ani)mates queer, queer tells-on crip. The specter of crip haunts queer—and even more explicitly, as we will see, trans—and the crip(ped) bodymind holds, moves, and fucks queerly. Who knows where “queer” stops and “crip” and “neuro” begin? Likewise, transMad, whose citational style leaves little room for diagnostic clarity amidst a pastiche of noncompliant text.

On transMad epistemologies: multiplicity (h/t @materialisnt):

They encourage us to remove others’ names from our bodies, to reign in unruly citations, to set “boundaries” which violate Mad, crip ethics of care (see Fletcher, 2019). In truth, any framing of individual authorship in which the body text is “mine” and the citations gesture “elsewhere” belie the inherent interdependence of all intellectual life, and particularly of transMad intellectual life. transMad plural scholar mix. alan moss (2022) argues in relation to the pathologization of multiple systems: “all people, indeed all that exists, is a system that itself is constantly enmeshed in several overlapping and interconnected systems.” In short, I am full of Is, and will continue as many more. Just as disability justice helps us understand all life as interdependent and deserving of access, a transMad approach sees our selves as numerous and fuzzy. We have permission to dispense with the need for tidy texts, with our interlocutors, edits, and iterations either obfuscated entirely or exclusively relegated to a bibliography. transMad citation may thus be considered akin to visible mending[6], creating flamboyantly messy, multiplicitous work that does not seek to pass as objective or discrete.

On the value of (crip) failure and/as "virtuality":

Don’t get me wrong: Zoom PhD work is a failing enterprise. That is to say, it is a queercrip, transMad enterprise, which is to say, it is a beautiful, beautiful project. Mitchell, Snyder, and Ware describe such “fortunate failures” in the context of “curricular cripistemologies.”5 Coined by Merri Lisa Johnson, the term “cripistemologies,” refers to “embodied ways of knowing in relation, knowing-with, knowing-alongside, knowing-across-difference, and unknowing,” ways which frequently exist outside the purview of mainstream academia.6 Curricular cripistemologies, then, refer to an intentional, queercrip deviation from normative pedagogical approaches which trades the corrective impulse of “special ed” and other rehabilitative programs, and offers instead a generative noncompliance.7 That is, rather than trying to identify, isolate, and ameliorate difference, curricular cripistemologies lean into difference as it is experienced by disabled students ourselves, querying how atmospheres of in/accessibility shape normative approaches to education and how the embrace of “failure,” not as a last-resort but as a first choice, poses potentially transformative possibilities.

On transMadness and fat liberation: (for @trans-axolotl's Psych Survivor Zine)

A transMad, fat approach to disorderly eating requires making connections with humility and understanding, and, as I discussed above, engaging in compassionate, critical interrogation of our own anti-fatness.

[...]

A transMad, fat, abolitionist politic is one that makes room. We imagine beyond the cage, even if the details of that imagining are not yet clear. Just as we have carved micro-sites of support within violent digital and in-person contexts, just as we have learned to think about our lifeworlds beyond the paradigm of “recovery or death,” we can also reconceptualize fatness not as the enemy, but as another form of bodymind noncompliance in alliance and/or entanglement with disorderly eating practices. For thin disorderly eaters, this requires us to fundamentally challenge the way we view food and embodiment, even while maintaining a Mad respect for alternative ways of approaching reality.

On xenogenders, virtuality, and self-determination:

It is this very “irrationality” –– the “unrealness,” the “you’ve-got-to-be-kiddinghood,” that is most frequently weaponized against xenogenders, as well as their newly-coined sets of xenopronouns. The perceived and actual virtuality of xenogenders is often placed against the notion of “actuality,” in this case, of “real” (or “practical”) genders and pronouns to be used in one’s “real life.” Disabled activists have rightly resisted the distinction between online and (presumed-offline) “real life,” given that this categorically excludes homebound bodyminds, as well as those without IRL social and support circles. That said, I believe the virtual –– as almost, not-quite, proximite, making-do –– is incredibly useful in thinking about xenoidentities as transMad tools –– particularly, as transMad tools of underground collaboration / co-liberation.

[...]

What if gender was a project we wanted to fail? That is, what if trans- was a process not of getting better, not of moving-toward a bodymind more sane, more straight, and more cisheteropatriarchially desirable, but rather a line of flight on a longer trail to illegibility? Indeed, what if we replaced pathology’s narrow “path” with a trail lighted by the language of our comrades, whose linguistic interventions make and break gender in ways heretofore unimaginable? Xenoidentities, both individually and as a trans-gressive M.O., are fundamental to a broader transMad project of crafted, collective illegibility; intersubjective citation (imagine what it feels like for someone to be the gender that you coined!); and collective care that refuses a politics of cure. Crucially both virtual and digital, xenoidentities are furthermore a manifestation of the power of trans, predominantly disabled digital counterpublics, who overturn the hierarchy which places the IRL-real above the digital-unreal, making unruly, Mad space in which (with apologies to Donna Haraway) a hundred xenoselves might bloom.

On Maddening queer "diagnosis":

In her indictment of all “Kwik-Fix Drugs,” Gray further indicates the practice of forced treatment as in and of itself as a project of violent normalization, regardless of specific target or reason. The intentional ambiguity between her narrative of Madness and her narrative of asexuality disrupt mounting demands for a healthy (sanitized, neoliberal, and consumable) queerness. A Mad ace approach identifies these demands as, indeed, comparable with cis heteronormative notions of sexual maturity and responsibility – the idea that participation in culturally-normative sexual practices is a prerequisite for health (Kim, 2011, 481) and thus, personal autonomy (Meerai, Abdillahi, and Poole 2016, 21). By fusing the “lack of sexual appetite” attributed to her medications for bipolar disorder with her asexuality, Gray destabilizes the binary between healthy-sexual-diversity and unhealthy-psychopathology. She is once again disrupting contemporary queer impulses to dissociate from ongoing histories of pathologization. Here, Mad and queer/asexual activism are as inseparable in text as they are in Gray. Gray and her comrades collectively refuse both sexuality-as-“rehabilitation” (See Kim 2011, 486) and asexual acceptance predicated upon normative “health” (Kim 2010, 158) – that is, they Madden asexuality. Twoey, in her own voice, remixes the sources of her own pathologization, staggering the supposedly-divine pronouncement of the DSM across pages and bookending its extracts with her own writing and art. In this undermining of the DSM’s epistemological polish, Gray disrupts the domination of written prose over poetry and visual art, while also critiquing the role of the DSM in commercialized health “care.” Her zine opens with the lines “sex sells and sex is sold / sex was being sold and i didn’t buy” (Gray 2018, n.p.). Gray indicates a pathology perceived not only in a refusal to practice sex, but also in a refusal to buy (into) it. After all, a refusal to buy into existing sexual paradigms is for her also a refusal to buy into a feminized reproductive mandate.

#sector-v #thank you genuinely! #ask #transmad #antipsychiatry #xenogender #epistemology #madness