#like i understand the intent is good but homie

[whatacaitastrophe]

Is It Over Now - Chapter 11

Previous Chapter

Chapter Song Inspiration: "I Wanna Be Yours" - Artic Monkeys

Chapter Warnings: Oral Sex, MxF sex, blood drinking, brief mention of past suicide attempt

Spotify Playlist: Here

Chapter Notes: if you have read this fic, liked it, reblogged it, or left comments THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. keep the comments coming bc i love hearing your feedback (and like tinkerbell, i need applause to live). also, if you feel so called to support me in other ways, here is a link to all my other socials, including my twitch channel, "all my homies hate mystra" merch i created (lol), and a donation link <3

also!! i have a discord server!! it was made to coincide with the twitch channel, but i need more friends to talk about bg3 with so pls come hang. link is above!

Chapter 11: Breathing in Your Dust

Fallon is furious. With Gale, yes, but even more so with herself. 

First, she’s angry that she let Gale have even one dance with her at the ball, on what was supposed to be her night with Astarion. She should have asked him to explain right there in the library, to the both of them and then sent him on his way. Second, now that she knows where Gale has been, what he’s been doing ( who he’s been doing), she’s angry with herself for wasting two years of her life on that man. One year loving him so unconditionally, only for it to be thrown back in her face: and one year mourning their relationship and what could have been. She almost killed herself because of someone she meant so little to in the end. 

More than any of that, she’s angry with herself for not hearing Astarion out. If she’d just given him a chance to explain, Fallon’s conversation with Gale would have been far shorter and then she and Astarion could have gone back to their evening. He withheld the entire truth from her, but the vampire’s intentions were good. She should have listened. Lastly, she’s angry with herself for kicking Astarion out of the suite. His comment stung, but Fallon knows her choice to speak to Gale alone (or even give him a chance at all) hurt Astarion just as much as his insinuation that she is a whore. 

But even when Astarion was protecting his own heart by flinging precise insults in her direction, he’d told Fallon he would come back. He’d been willing to give her a night to cool off, and instead of walking away, she kicked him out. 

Now she could only pray to gods she didn’t believe in that when she finds Astarion (if she finds him), he’ll let her apologize. 

Fallon is a blur of chiffon as she flies down the stairs of The Elfsong living quarters towards the tavern. Maybe Devlon has seen Astarion, and maybe Astarion deigned to tell the barkeep where to find him, should anyone ask. Maybe—

Maybe Astarion is sitting at the bar with a sullen look on his face, nursing a goblet of wine with a half empty bottle to his left. Fallon stops in her tracks and stares for a moment in shock. Astarion came back. Even after the horrible things she said, the horrible things he said… he’s here. 

He’s here, and Fallon is now more certain than ever that she does not deserve this man. 

The sound of her heartbeat, or the scent of her must have revealed her presence to Astarion, because after a moment his body goes rigid as he stares into his goblet. When he looks up, his eyes immediately go to Fallon, she sees something there that Fallon isn’t sure she’s ever seen before. 

Hope. 

They may not have a mind connection through the tadpoles to speak to one another anymore but this time, without Gale there to cloud Astarion’s perception of the situation, it doesn’t matter. When Fallon stares back at him with an apologetic expression and a slight nod of her head, Astarion understands:

Fallon only needed to speak to Gale so she could send the wizard on his way. 

Astarion shoots to his feet so quickly he almost knocks his barstool over, and in less than five paces, he’s standing in front of Fallon. Fallon opens her mouth to apologize to him verbally, but before she can say anything, Astarion’s mouth is pressed against her own in a deeply passionate kiss. Fallon throws her arms around his neck and kisses him back, trying to convey how sorry she is in the way she moves her mouth against his. 

Somewhere in the tavern, somebody whistles, but Fallon barely hears it. The world dissolves around her and the only person she’s even remotely aware of is Astarion, and the way he grabs the backs of her thighs, bunching the skirts of her gown to pick her up and carry her out of the dining room. Fallon breathlessly pulls her lips away from his and looks at the man she’d fallen in love with as easily as breathing. “Astarion, I’m so sorry. I was horrible and cruel and you didn’t deserve any of it—“

Astarion stops walking halfway up the stairs and smirks at her. “Fallon, as much as I adore hearing you admit you were wrong, I’m a little busy at the moment making sure I don’t drop you.” He presses his mouth to hers again and continues climbing the stairs to the second floor. 

“You can put me down, you know.” she mutters against his lips and he laughs softly.  

“Now why would I do a thing like that when carrying you all the way back to our room is purely for the sake of letting everyone in this whole bloody place know that you are mine .” Fallon groans into his mouth as he kisses her again and they keep moving. Fallon has no idea how he’s even able to concentrate enough to get them back to the suit safely, never mind that he’s also doing it with his eyes mostly closed. Regardless of the how, it’s incredibly hot, and Fallon can already feel the heat pooling at the apex of her thighs when Astarion claims her as his, so she’s not really in a position to ask questions. 

Once outside their suite, Astarion presses Fallon’s back against the wall and holds her there. He releases her mouth from his and turns his attention to her neck. “Whilst we’re muttering apologies,” he presses a singular kiss on her neck. “I’m sorry for what I insinuated about you and the wizard earlier. You didn’t deserve that, either.” 

“I’m more than certain you will find a way to make it up to me.” Fallon hums. A soft moan leaves her mouth when she feels Astarion’s teeth scraping against her skin. 

“Likewise, darling.” he nips at her neck teasingly and returns his attention to her mouth. Astarion opens the door with one hand easily once they start moving again, and he kicks the door shut with his foot once they’re inside. That’s as far into the room as the two of them make it before Fallon feels her back against the wall again. 

Now that they are out of the public eye, all politeness (if one could even call kissing her passionately and carrying her through The Elfsong Tavern back to their bedroom “polite”) is thrown to the wind. 

“I have been thinking about all the places in this suite I want to have you,” he groans into her mouth and biting down on her lip and tugs, then soothes the spot with his tongue. “To taste you. To make you mine ,” he growls the last word. “For days. ” 

Fallon whimpers and shifts in his hold as she tries to press their bodies even closer together. “Just days?” she manages to tease. Astarion bites down on her bottom lip a little harder. 

“Weeks, really, but especially after our little tete-a-tete on the couch a few nights ago,” Astarion gently releases Fallon from his grip, not letting go until her feet are steady on the floor. Once they are, he pushes her roughly back against the wall and pins her there with his arms on either side of her. 

He leans down and presses a kiss just beneath her ear. “I’ve been thinking about the way you moaned my name and I wasn’t even trying that hard. It got me thinking… what kind of sounds will you make for me, how loudly will you scream my name, when I actually put in effort?” 

His words send a shiver down Fallon’s spine and her knees wobble. Astarion grabs her hips to keep her steady and laughs against her skin, pressing another kiss beneath her ear. “Easy, darling, there will be plenty of opportunity for you to get on your knees for me this evening.”

Fallon would have moaned if she could remember how to speak, or even how to breathe. It’s been a long time since dirty talk did it for her this well . When the time comes and Astarion finally gives any other erogenous zone of her body attention, making her come is hardly going to be a difficult task, for she’s already halfway there on his words alone. 

Her body has transitioned from wanting Astarion to needing him, and Fallon whimpers again. “Astarion, please.” 

Astarion pulls away just enough to look at her, and he releases one of her hips, raising his hand and tucking his fingers under her chin, forcing Fallon to look at him. “Please what, darling?” he smirks, eyes hazy with lust for her. 

“Touch me, bite me, fuck me, I don’t care but for the love of the gods please do something .” The tone she’d been aiming for was demanding but instead it comes out desperate, and Astarion grins. 

“That’s my good girl.” He praises, kissing her deeply once more. Astarion’s hands are quick, and Fallon’s mind is so focused on the fact that he’s cupping her breasts and his fingers are toying with the edges of the fabric at her cleavage that she barely has a chance to realize what is happening before the sound of fabric ripping fills the room and air is hitting her bare skin. This man ripped open her gorgeous gown, that he paid for no less, without a second thought. 

“The dress…” she mutters as they kiss. 

“I’ll buy you another one.” Astarion declares, not at all bothered by the destruction he just caused. He pushes the fabric off of her shoulders and the shredded gown falls to the floor at their feet. Fallon is almost completely naked before him, with only a thin piece of lingerie covering her bottom half, and he steps back to look at her. “Gods, you’re beautiful.” he admires her breathlessly. It’s the first time Fallon has really had the chance to look at him, and she's incredibly pleased at the sight of Astarion’s stiff cock straining against his trousers. 

Slowly, painfully so, Astarion takes a step towards her and sinks onto his knees before her. Fallon’s heart rate increases with anticipation, eyes unable to look away from Astarion’s as he slowly runs his hands over her legs. He taps the inside of her left knee, willing her to spread her legs for him, and he moves closer to her. Fallon does as she’s told, and and shudders as his hands continue their journey across her skin. 

“If you could not rip those, I’m quite fond of them.” Fallon requests teasingly when Astarion’s hands reach her skimpy lingerie. Astarion kisses the inside of their thigh, and looks back to her mischievously. “I’ll buy you another pair.” he declares and the sound of tearing fabric once again fills the room, and the pile on the floor at her feet grows. 

Fallon opens her mouth to say something to him, but her words are overpowered by the breathy gasp that spills out of her the moment Astarion’s thumb passes over her swollen clit. Her hips lift away from the wall as she chases the feeling, and Astarion has the audacity to laugh. “Patience, darling.”

“You laugh now, but we’ll see how you like it when you’re desperate for me to touch you.” Fallon quips. 

Astarion kisses her inner thigh and spreads her legs further apart. “Is that a threat, darling, or a promise?”

“Yes.” 

His laugh vibrates against her thigh as his mouth inches its way up her body. Once Astarion’s face is directly in front of her sex, his tongue lazily flicks across her clit, teasing her again and Fallon whines. 

“Astarion, please .” She begs through gritted teeth. 

Astarion looks up at her through his eyelashes, the grin on his face is near feral. “Good girl, Fallon.” He grabs her leg, throwing it over his shoulder, and he braces her hips against the wall. Fallon cries out loudly when she finally feels his practiced tongue against her clit, licking her with such precision that only someone with over two hundred years of cunniligus experience could achieve. 

His fingers replace his tongue on her clit and his tongue moves inside of her and Fallon and her hips arch away from the wall again, desperate to feel Astarion deeper inside of her. She wants more, more, more, and it doesn’t even occur to her that she’s begging him for more audibly until she feels his amused laughter vibrating through her body. She’s desperate for him, for his touch, and Astarion delivers, lavishing her sex with attention until her legs start to shake. Fallon aimlessly grasps at the wall, trying to find something to hold on to, and she ends up just clawing at the wallpaper instead.

“Astarion, I— I need— I’m going to— please .” She tries to find the words to tell him how close she is, but the way he’s devouring her is so delicious that her IQ is rapidly dropping. The vampire doesn’t need to be told twice, and his tongue returns to her clit, lapping at it hungrily and he slides two fingers inside of her. The man between her legs has barely pumped his fingers in and out of her three times before the simmering volcano that is Fallon erupts, and she comes loudly, moaning her lover’s name. She’s dizzy from it, and quite honestly it’s a miracle Fallon didn’t collapse on the floor from the way her body shook. 

When Astarion finally releases his hold on her, he sits back on his knees and looks up at Fallon proudly. His face shines with her slick, and he even has the audacity to lick his lips like Fallon is the best meal he’s ever had. It’s a gesture that has Fallon ready for him again in seconds. 

“You,” she pants. “Have far too many clothes on.” Fallon holds out her hand to Astarion, an offer to help him up, yes, but she also needs him near her again. She needs her body against his. She needs his skin against her skin. As soon as he’s on his feet, Fallon is tugging at the doublet he’s wearing, clumsily unfastening the buttons in her haste to remove the offending clothing from Astarion’s body. His mouth finds hers again and they work together to rid him of his clothes, and Fallon smirks against his lips when she hears him sigh with relief as his cock springs free of its confines. 

Immediately, Fallon wants to touch him— to feel the heavy weight of his cock in her hand, to make him writhe with pleasure in the way he’d done to her. She wants to taste his cock on her tongue as much as she needs to breathe. 

Astarion, it seems, has other plans. Fallon squeaks when she is hoisted into the air once more, wrapping her legs around Astarion’s middle and holding on tightly. She can feel his hard length just beneath her backside now and wonders how easy it would be to just…shift her body so she sank down on his cock naturally. 

When they stop again, it's in their bedroom. He stops right at the foot of the bed, and sets Fallon down once more. She reaches for his cock again, desperate to play, and Astarion tuts at her. “Not yet, darling. You’re going to come for me again first,” he instructs assertively. “Turn around.” Another jolt of electricity goes directly to her core as she does what she’s told and leans forward, bracing herself against the bed. Astarion fully invades her space once more, and she can feel the broad head of his cock teasing her entrance, and Fallon shudders with anticipation. “Astarion, please. Stop toying with me and fuck me. ” 

That’s all her lover needs to hear, and he doesn’t wait a moment longer before pressing himself inside of her. They moan in tandem as Astarion pushes himself inside of her. The way he fills her is like Astarion is the missing piece that goes in the very center of the puzzle that is Fallon, and she’s finally found it after thinking the piece was gone and giving up on the puzzle all together. Astarion grabs her hips to steady the both of them before he finally begins moving inside of her. Astarion is clearly also beyond the point of teasing, for once he begins moving it’s hard, quick, and for several minutes, the only sounds in the room are from their mutual pleasure. 

“You are…so fucking perfect.” He praises her, releasing one of her hips to reach forward and take a hold of her hair, using it as leverage to pull Fallon’s torso towards him. Her back is almost flush against his chest and the new angle Astarion is hitting inside of her makes sends a delicious shiver through Fallon’s body. He’s already dangerously close to pulling another orgasm from her, and she feels his teeth against the spot on her neck where it meets her shoulder, scraping her skin slightly, silently asking for permission. She nods her head furiously and whimpers, “Do it.” There’s no use in denying anymore that Astarion’s bite turns her on, not when she used to deny it to hide the fact that she was attracted to him at all. After all, he’s already buried deep inside her so that ship had said anyway. 

Astarion groans appreciatively, and within seconds of the sharp pain hitting Fallon as Astarion’s teeth break her skin, she shatters a second time. He fucks her through it, and the rhythm of his hips gradually slows and his hands move to cup her breasts, kneading them and rolling her nipples between his thumbs and forefingers while he enjoys her neck. To her surprise, Fallon does not have to tell Astarion when she’s ready for him to pull away, for he does so on his own, removing his cock from inside of her in the process. She turns around to look at her lover and she tilts her head curiously. 

“As delicious as you are, darling, I’m not done ruining you sexually yet. You being conscious whilst that occurs is extremely important.” He leans in to lick away the slow trickle of blood dripping down her neck, and Fallon smirks. 

“Good, because I’m not done ruining you sexually yet, either.” Fallon kisses him and slips her hand between their bodies and wraps her warm hand around his wet cock, stroking him slowly. Astarion’s hips stutter at her touch. “It’s not a competition, darling.” Astarion hums against her lips and Fallon shakes her head. 

“It is now,” She replies playfully, quickly kissing him one more time. Fallon lets go of his cock and steps away from Astarion. “Get on the bed. Please.” 

Astarion’s eyes flicker with lust and he smirks as he realizes she’s not actually taking control of the situation at all. “Well, since you asked so nicely.” He croons and does as she requested.

Fallon wants Astarion to be in control, to make her wait or tell her no if she doesn’t ask for permission first. She wants him to tease her and tell her what to do and make her beg for it and praise her for doing as he says– because Fallon needs that as much as she wants to make sure Astarion always feels in control of his autonomy. If the day ever comes and he asks her to take control Fallon will happily oblige, but if that day never arrives she’ll also be perfectly satisfied. 

Fallon waits until Astarion is fully settled on the mattress and she takes a moment to truly look at him. His body is an absolute crime, every inch and angle more beautiful than the last and it’s entirely unfair. It’s also the first time Fallon gets a good look at Astarion’s cock. Fallon could have guessed, having already felt it in her hand and inside of her, but it’s as beautiful and perfect as the rest of him, and she wouldn’t be embarrassed to admit that her mouth waters when she sees it. 

Her eyes travel back up his body and the way he’s looking at her, with his arms folded and his hands resting under his head…it’s the hottest thing Fallon has ever seen. “Come here, darling.” Astarion beckons, and Fallon forces herself to take her time. To make a show of it. She crawls up the bed and settles herself on her knees at his waist. She leans forwards to press a sensual kiss to his lips and Astarion’s arms move out from under his head and he grabs her by the waist to pull Fallon into his lap. She lets him, but when the man beneath her tries to position her entrance above his cock, she shakes her head. “Not yet. I want to taste you first,” She tugs on his bottom lip with hers. “Can I do that for you? Please?” 

Astarion pauses and pulls back far enough to look at Fallon. There’s a surprised look on his face. “I– I can’t remember the last time someone did that for me,” Astarion stares at Fallon in stunned silence a moment longer, then kisses her deeply once and looks at her again. “I know this will sound very cliche considering you just asked to suck my cock but…I just need you to know how desperately and utterly in love with you I am.”

A wide smile blooms on Fallon’s face at the words. Hearing Astarion tell her that he loves her…it’s better and sweeter coming from his mouth than it’s ever been from anybody else, and her heart might burst. “Good, because I am desperately and utterly in love with you, too,” she confirms and kisses him again. “Now let me show you.” 

She kisses her way down his body from his neck to his hips, slowly, hoping that it properly conveys just how much she adores this man. When she comes face to face with his leaking cock, Fallon wraps a hand around the base and gives his shaft a tentative swipe with her tongue. Astarion twitches in her hand in response, and Fallon’s tongue runs over him again from base to tip, wrapping her mouth around him upon reaching his head. She can taste the now dry remnants of herself on his cock and a thrill goes through her body as she thinks about the way he was deep inside of her just minutes ago, and how he soon will be again. Fallon has no intention of letting Astarion climax in her mouth; not because it doesn’t appeal to her (it absolutely does), but because she wants, no, needs to feel him inside of her again before the night is over. 

Astarion stifles a moan as she moves her mouth along his cock and his hand finds its way into her hair again. His grip is deliciously tight, and when she feels him begin to tentatively begin controlling the movements of her head himself, Fallon moans with approval, fully returning control to him as he fucks her mouth. He’s hesitant at first, whether it’s because he’s afraid hurting her, he’s afraid of coming too soon, or something else entirely, Fallon doesn’t know, but once Astarion finds his confidence, he fucks her mouth in the same way he’d fucked her from behind: rough, hard, and Fallon is more than prepared when she feels Astarion push her head down, down, down onto his cock. Astarion moans and his hips stutter. “Fuu- Fallon , your mouth is incredible , darling. I wish you could see how good you look, choking on my cock, love.” 

He releases his hold on her head and Fallon’s mouth slides off his length as she gasps for air, replacing her mouth with her hand while she breathes. She’s ready to go back in, but Astarion grabs her forearm and pulls her back towards him. He kisses her feverishly, and flips Fallon onto her back so fast she barely has time to realize what’s happening before it’s done. Astarion quickly positions himself between her legs and, this time, there is no teasing, no pause after he fills her again. Just immediate, desperate thrusts as he fucks her. Astarion buries his face in her neck, and she feels the sting of his tongue as he licks the spot on her neck where he bit her earlier. She threads one hand through his white curls, and the other goes to his back, lovingly tracing the scars Astarion’s former master left on his body. Perhaps when they get to Asha, the coven may know of a way to rid Astarion of the damage. 

Their collective moans and the sound of skin hitting skin fills the room as they move together and she wraps her legs around his middle, pushing him deeper inside of her. Fallon can feel herself teetering close to the edge of her third orgasm of the night. “Astarion– I’m so close .” she  moans in warning. “I want– I want to go with you. Please .” 

Astarion nods and lifts his head from her neck and presses his forehead to hers. His hips are pistons now, and the rhythm is nigh on erratic. “Say it again, darling. Tell me you love me.” He whispers, and it’s like a prayer. 

“I love you, Astarion.” Fallon whispers back and lifts her mouth to kiss him passionately. Within seconds, Fallon stars burst in her vision and she feels herself clenching and pulsing around Astarion’s cock as she climaxes, with him close behind her. When Astarion finally lets go, it’s the most beautiful sound Fallon has ever heard; she didn’t think it was possible for someone to sound pretty when they came, but somehow Astarion manages it. She will forever be in awe of this man and hopelessly, irrevocably in love with him. 

The world comes back into focus and their bodies and minds slow down. Astarion does not remove himself from her immediately– for a moment they just lay there, exchanging slow, easy kisses while they catch their breath. When Astarion does finally pull out, it’s only to reposition himself on his side next to Fallon, pulling her close and wrapping their legs back together intimately. He reaches up to her face and brushes a few stray pieces of her hair out of the way. “You’re the most breathtaking woman I’ve ever known.” He confesses and kisses the tip of her nose. Fallon smiles at him dreamily, and before she can stop herself, she’s yawning. Astarion chuckles softly, rolling into his back and taking Fallon with him so her head is on his chest. Fallon traces lazy circles on his skin and looks up at him. “I really am sorry– about earlier. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Astarion looks down at her with a blank stare on his face, like he can’t quite remember what exactly it is she’s apologizing for. When the recognition finally hits, he scoffs and rolls his eyes playfully. “As you can see, it’s already forgotten, my love. I think we can call it even.” He takes her hand from his chest and kisses the palm of her hand, then her fingertips. “Not that I want to talk about the wizard right now, but I am deeply curious about what he had to say for himself.”

Fallon yawns again, wiggling her body to be as close to Astarion as possible, nevermind that there is no space of his left for her to invade. Her eyelids feel heavy, and she lets them close. “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Promise.” She mumbles, as she presses a gentle kiss to his chest and she pulls her hand out of his so she can drape her arm across his chest. “I love you ‘starion.”

The last thing Fallon remembers before drifting off to sleep is the feeling of a kiss being pressed to the top of her head, and Astarion whispers, “I love you too, Fallon.”

Chapter List

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[tenabrye]

You. You my friend. I love you. ❤️

Can I get your take on what stampede Vash and Wolfwood would look for in a partner? Looks are out of the question cuz everyone is different and unique in their own way, but personality wise, what do you think would make Nick and Vash fall for someone hard? What kind of mannerisms? Are they feisty, are they level headed? What kinda person would these boys fall head over heels for?

Thank you homie! I love being fed by your writing! 👌🏻💕

I'm very happy that you enjoy my writing. I hope it's keeping all of you well fed. 🥹

Vash

As much of a wide range guy as he is, Vash does have a few preferences when it comes to a personality that really, really makes his head turn. He'd love someone that's kind, or at least has a positive outlook on life in such a way as he does. With how much negativity there is in the world, it's just really nice to have another positive person that shares the same views as he does. They don't necessarily have to be entirely positive, but he wouldn't want them being too pessimistic. He can feel other people's emotions and they can affect him negatively.

They have to be patient and understanding. Every story has two sides and he's the kind of person that prefers hearing both sides before making a final decision. He'd like for someone to understand that and who might also be like that. He'd also like for them to be understanding and patient with him. He may not be the type whose actions can be easily understood, especially at first when they may not even make sense, but he's always got everything under control. Most of the time.

Being both empathetic and sympathetic. Whether it be with himself, which he would absolutely appreciate to the moon and back, or with other people. When it comes to him, however, he just really loves someone who understands how he feels in certain situations. Or, when it comes to situations they can't relate to, such as Vash's entire history with his twin and existence, he appreciates someone to lend their shoulder or welcome him with open arms.

This leads him wanting nothing more than being with someone that makes him feel absolutely safe. Both physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. Someone that doesn't make him want to not open up and have to hide some things about himself from them. As much of an open book as he may seem, there are still some secrets he won't share unless he fully trusts someone. Very, very deep secrets. This also means he'd enjoy someone that he can allow to see him on his bad days and help cheer him up. He puts a lot on his shoulders, a lot of guilt, and he, sadly, lets it all build up until it's crushing him. He'd love someone who will just take him in their arms and hold him during these times.

He wouldn't mind if they were shy or a bit reserved, nor would he mind if they were a boisterous type. He can be quite an energetic man, given the situation, so it helps if they could also be as such. But as said, he doesn't mind if they're one or the other, or even both. Humorous, too, since he can be quite the funny man at times. Though he does know when the situation calls for it, and he hopes they would, too. If they're feisty, he'd actually like that. It's entertaining and he himself isn't like that, much.

Vash likes it when people come through on promises, even though he can't sometimes. Someone that's reliable, always keeping their word, and who he can put his absolute trust into doing a task. The same goes for their intentions. He likes good intentions, but he also knows that sometimes the bad ones are often for a good cause. So long as the reasoning is just.

Someone that doesn't hold a grudge. He's not that type of person and he knows how much a grudge or even seeking revenge can damage one's heart, allowing anger and hatred to consume it whole. Having some sense on the matter would be ideal, but he can also fill that spot if they don't have it or can't. That's not to say he wouldn't like them having such feelings, since he knows it's natural, but he doesn't want someone to be fully consumed by them and throw half, or all, of their life away for it.

Overall, he would like someone that's a bit similar to him, yet also different in many, many ways. For him, opposites do attract, but he doesn't mind if the similarities outweigh the opposites.

Wolfwood

Nicholas would be the type to like someone with a little bit of feistiness in them, or a lot. He's not picky on that. He's a bit of a realist when it comes to seeing how the world truly is, so he'd like someone the opposite of that. Not entirely, but there's really only room for one person who mostly thinks the way he does and he's already taken that spot. However, he doesn't mind if they're a little bit of a pessimist. A nice balance of that is good, too.

A good amount of sympathy and empathy is good in his books. Afterall, they would eventually learn about what he really does in life. Nicholas has his fair share of issues and would actually talk about them if given the time of day with a trusted partner. Someone that can listen to him voice his concerns with a certain situation, whether big or small, and to offer advice. He doesn't even care if they're not good at giving it, he just wants to hear their opinions. So, someone who isn't afraid to do that is another thing he would like.

He may seem like he doesn't like Vash and his antics, but he does, so he would also like that in a partner. Someone that can make him laugh when he needs it and who can also be witty with comebacks at times. A nice balance of seriousness and playfulness, considering he enjoys letting loose and knows when to be serious whenever a situation arises. Also, he gives nicknames, so they would have to be chill enough for that. No matter how ridiculous the nickname is, but it's all in good fun.

He would really, really love for someone to be a quick thinker when it comes to fast paced situations. He feels it would balance out the times when he can't think fast. Nicholas would also prefer them to be a bit humble, or at least just a bit. Tolerating children is definitely something he'd like in a future partner. They don't have to like them, but with his backstory and all, yeah, they can't outright hate children.

Someone that can read the room and, more specifically, read him. Sometimes he may not speak about whatever is currently on his mind, but he does have telling facial expressions. Reading and observing him to at least let them know how he's currently feeling when he doesn't want to say is a preferable thing. Major plus if they're the type of person to just silently take him in their arms when he can't form words to even ask for a hug, yet he still wants one.

He would like someone that raises him up. He's done a lot, killed a lot, sometimes it was what he didn't even want to do yet had to. He's the type to hold that guilt and think badly of himself sometimes. So, someone that can be the positive to his negative during those moments is a good thing for him.

Someone that isn't afraid to get assertive with him. Nicholas can agree that sometimes he just needs someone to help him see from another point of view. That, and he likes someone that can think for themselves. Someone that doesn't go along with what someone else suggests for them.

Overall, Nicholas would prefer someone with a flexible personality. Assertive and a little feisty, yet also tender and sweet when need be. Someone whose personality is easily rubbed off on others in such a positive way that it makes him smile.

#trigun stampede #trigun #trigun stampede vash #vash the stampede #trigun stampede wolfwood #trigun vash #trigun wolfwood #vash x reader #vash x you #nicholas d. wolfwood #wolfwood x reader #wolfwood x you

[cinamun]

I had to send an ask because the comment(s) would’ve been too long *cracks knuckles*

I’m apart of the late crew today…but first things first, Life swings us all by our ponytails. This is not the big comfy couch. IRL & pixelated life can get it. ..BUT I’ve been peeping how JayJay moves and let’s take it back a bit when Hope was in her “I wanna fuck Kenji” stage…Do you see how that man handled that situation!? 😩 Like, he literally opened up the conversation (if my memory serves me correctly) then reassured our girl as he conversed/reassured her WHILE HE WAS IN HER GUTS. Slow strokes. Reassuring voice. Baby girl shed a tear. That hit MY soul. (Nonny, i get it if you don’t understand grown folks business…and THAT moment right there was DEFINITELY grown folks business OKAY! Sheeeesh) But, I personally don’t feel someone like/that can do THAT will risk it all for a student that so happens to know tHe CoLtRaNe CyClE. I said before, I know things be falling apart a helluva lot but I want us to be released from the shackles of not being able to trust someone that has pure intentions & a good heart because we’re used to seeing/experiencing the fuck shit. Shit, not to bring up our fallen homie El *pours one out for him* but see how Jay tackled THAT situation!? He’s not playing about our baby girl Hope Diamond.

he’s one of the good ones. You see the bullshit his mama puts herself in and he most definitely sees that too. Jay wants a happy home & a happy life. He’s had enough trauma & he’s not trying to invite that bullshit into his life. We gotta give him credit for that. That’s grown man shit right there. He had an active/loving father. He grew up in a loving household until his father passed. It’s all he talks about…the reason the man loves Coltrane is because of his father. He remembers that love his mom and dad shared. So when he’s staring at the back of Ubrite girls head at those keys, that man is zoning out to the sounds of Coltrane. And I’m pretty sure when he gets home he will run home like a lil school girl and tell his wife that he has a student that has talent & knows her Coltrane. He’s a professor, it’s his job to invest in his students.

There’s definitely piss in the pool when it comes to men but there are trustworthy men out here. Jay is one of those men. Not a gas light or manipulation in sight, Jay loves his wife and family. He is literally the happiest man…misery cheats. Also…also I feel that if it crossed his mind that’s a conversation that he would have with his wife, Jay communicates. He’s not impulsive. That man is a damn good man/husband.

So I’ve said all that to say, what makes you think that they aren’t living and experiencing their happily ever after right now and that he is doing his job to make sure he invests in his students because he wants them to succeed. Home girl popped up and turned in one late paper & all of a sudden black women can’t have nice things. LIKE!? I’m confusion. 😩 But also, every single good show leaves on a “cliff hanger” just to get the mind going. That’s good writing. That makes you want to come back to see what’s gonna happen and it always doesn’t have to be the extreme. Life is about navigating those situations…and that translates to this story *chefs kiss-ly*

Listeeennnnn, Imma ride for JayJay. Literally put on my ski mask and drive the black bus for anyone else who wants to hop on because I don’t play about that one. He’s proven thus far that he’s one of the good ones & I don’t believe his flesh or his mind is weak. THATS A DAMN GOOD MAN SAVANNAH!

but also My eyes perked up when I read “Would you like your plate to go” 👀? Because yes, I would like one also 😂…Girl (you know I’m not the anon because I say it with my full chest, always)…but lemme get a wing plate and TWO ghetosas to go! It’s been a loooong week. 😂😂😂

Y'ALL COME READ THIS RIGHT DAMN NOW!!

That's all I got, I'm fucking speechless!! This is so important and I.....

#*hands Chae two entire pans of lemon pepper wings* #*and extra sauce* #story stuff #THIS THE ONE! #also stay tuned 👀

[stranded-labyrinth]

Angsttttt

Just read a fic where will found Hannibal in Florence and was jealous AF about Antony diamond. But they worked it out and shit.

Let me raise you, Will ‘already horrible self worth/esteem issues’ Graham, leaving the second he sees Hannibal flirting with a guy who looks just like him, minus the myriad of ugly scars. And homie has a badddd self destructive habit already. So he heads to the closest bar with the intention to get black out drunk and find someone to take his mind off Hannibal. But then ends up running out of the bar because he’s gotten into a fist fight and beaten the guy to a pulp. (Projecting much will?)

But know he’s thinking, why not just kill that bitch, Hannibal was with? And not with his fists with a gun, the man doesn’t deserve any form of intimacy.

So as one does he finds the guys address and sneaks in, only to find Hannibal THERE. And in a fit of absolute hatred shoots Antony dead in the head. No guilt, Before turning on Hannibal. Who’s looks like he’s about to have a heart attack, before noticing it’s Will. And he smiles and gos to talk before Will interrupts him.

“It doesn’t matter what I do, does it? I’ll never be enough for you, you have your fun with me then throw me out, when I’ve grown boring”

before taking the gun off Hannibal. And ATTEMPTING to shoot himself, but Hannibal smacks the gun off course. So he ends up shooting himself in the arm (like where chiyoh shot him) and passes out from blood loss.

Then the rest of the fic would be Hannibal trying to fix the damage he’s done

i'll be so honest, there's been about 50 different flavors of this happening in my mind at any given time

Hannibal being an absolute shit with how he's gone about he and Will's relationship can spring so many different versions of this, to the point where i've desperately wanted to write something with it but i've struggled with knowing exactly how to go about it, because there's just so many ways to do it that i can't settle for one

personally, i don't tend to go the route of Will trying to kill himself if only because he's relatively used to stewing in depression, but teetering on the edge is not to say that something couldn't push him over the edge. the way i always imagine it is him, as usual, resigning himself to this life. he's drained of the joy of it, left with bitterness and resentment and aching, and yet this time around he also just feels so painfully empty. there's a hollow void that isn't going to be filled, Hannibal's made that abundantly clear through his lack of action, so why bother hoping? once again, just another person Will isn't good enough for. he exists to understand Hannibal and that's it, nothing further. no other meaning.

and, of course, Hannibal doesn't enjoy his Will without his passion, so he'd know something's amiss pretty quickly. but he's not going to ask so directly, he's going to poke and prod and guide, but Will's too tired and convinced his little world with Hannibal will never get better than what it is and he's too tired and he wants to go home but doesn't even know where home is anymore, because apparently it's not with him.

Will's feeling like a discarded toy, tossed aside when it became old hat only to be picked up when the owner gets curious.

he's not engaging in their little philosophical back and forths. he's not killing. he comes to bed, if only to lay curled up on his side, facing away from Hannibal, laying still until his grief for something he never had becomes a physical thing in the room and Hannibal has to reach out to him just to be able to breathe again.

of course, Will would break eventually, but until then he's just going day to day, mind on the bleak past and even bleaker future until it makes for a bleak present, and Hannibal's watching the life leave his eyes while being completely ignorant to it being his fault.

sometimes i think he'd stay and everything would break down that way, sometimes i think he'd leave (or try to) and Hannibal would go looking for him, because after all this time, Hannibal refuses to be without him. not again.

but like i said, all the intricacies of it could be so different that it's difficult to actually jot down.

#HEAVY tw for discussions of depression and suicide here everyone #be careful

[daisydood]

Ramblings About God of War: Odin addition!

First of all: MY ASKS ARE OPEN!! I'm running out of ideas for character analysis jelp

Note: yeah I know I said I was gonna make Freyas next but I wanna talk about how much I hate him. He sucks so much i hope he dies again all my homies hate Odin he sucks so much you don't even understand

Odin: The top Gaslighter, Gatekeeper, and Girlbosser

Tis' the season to point out the diffrent manipulation tactis odin uses! God, Odin is so horrible. Hes a horrible dad, grandfather, friend, role model, and basically everything ever.

There are few things that motivate villians. The main ones are fame, money, vengence, and power. I think the thing that motivates him is solely power. He wants power over everyone. He claims all he wants is knowledge and vengence, but he just wants power, in my opinon.

For the first time Atrues went to Asgard, Odin excpictly stated he was only in it for the knowledge. But he wants power. As the saying goes, Knowledge equals Power. I know basing this entire character Analysis on one old saying doesnt make much sense, but hear me out here.

Odin loves being on top of the world. He loves having people do anything he wishes. He keeps (or, well, kept) his trusty servant, Heimdall near him at all times. He did, however, manipulate people countless times, which i will get into later. OKAY NOT THE POINT-

My point is; When Odin said that he only wants knowledge, he was telling a half truth. Odin wants knowledge in order to gain power. Because Odin knows so much about everything ever, (or, at least he says he does) people are bound to trust him more. ergo; The knowledge that Odin has equals power over the people who don't know. ...ergo knowledge = power but YOU GET THAT BY NOW.

Each manipulation tactic my least favorite old guy used on his targets

Thor: Odin earned Thors dedication by a very common tactic: Bullying. Hes so unnecessarily mean to Thor, and I think he does this because he can not emotionally manipulate him in his normal tactics, so he just resorts to bullying him like a middle schooler.

Atreus: Promises and flatter. Atreus' entire storyline is wanting answers. And here comes Odin, trying his hardest to convince Atreus that he can have those answers if he just helps him out with translating a mask. But, obviously, he has worse intentions than he claims.

Kratos: Harassment. This is the last tactic that manipulators try to use. Similar to Thors, Odin can't do anything to Kratos. After all the ranting Odin said when he went to Kratos' and Atreus' house all he said was "No," then almost killed his son. So, the only way to get him to do what he wants is physical violence.

Heimdall: literally nothing what happened there he came out the womb worshipping him

Edit: @/pgirl1986 made a really good point about Heimdall !!! Go check it out😱😱

alright folks‼️

That's all I've got for him. I hate him so much. I might add more manipulation tactics later but I think that's it. My asks are open for any thing you want me to analyze about god of war, I might even do some animes 😱😱 okay I think that's it time for tags

#this took hours #oh my god #I'm so done with this #I hate odin #Odin hate club #real tags now #odin #gowr #god of war ragnarok #gow ragnorak #kratos #atreus #I might do attack on titan??? #attack on titan #thor #omg i didnt mention thrud today #freya #heimdall

[ultraviolet-ink]

Hiii idk if it's still relevant BUT

for the choose violence ask game: 3, 10, 12 ! 😁

Hello!! I'm always down for asks, thanks for sending this one!! (o^▽^o) 3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr Oh god there's this one take I've seen a year or two ago that still makes me lose my mind lol! Basically it was a post talking about how no one understands the point of the joke "Dead Dove, Do Not Eat" and how it's not supposed to be "what's on the tin" but the absurdity of someone putting a dove in a fridge, and THAT was why it was a joke. Fam, do you not know the next line? "I don't know what I expected", dead dove note on a bag -> dead dove in the bag! That's the joke!! That's why we use it in fic to be an extra label (Aka, mind the tags, product may contain peanuts, etc.) tbh, funniest bad take I've seen in a while tho

10. worst part of fanon Found. Family. It went from one of my most favorite tropes ever, to the one that makes me roll my eye the hardest. People can be close without calling each other family, they're allowed to be friends (Like hell I'm calling one of my old professors my "dad" or "weird uncle", or "mom" or "vodka aunt" we're JUST friends). I also don't like how it all just defaults to a nuclear family set of roles, like there has to be two parents, some kids, and then everyone else is somehow a cousin. I've been getting into GOT/HOtD lately, and damn THOSE family lines are easier to follow than some of the shit that gets passed off as "FAMILY DO NOT SEPARATE OR WE WILL SEND DEATH THREATS!!" And to harp on that second point, it just brings so much wank! I have a friend who made a super SUPER niche DGS ship, and no one ever said these characters were family before they started posting about it-- but one of the characters is often headcanoned to be a lesbian (which, yeah, I'm basic, I also hc the same), so when this "rival" ship came about, it was suddenly "fOuNd FaMiLy". Mostly, I just roll my eyes now at this trope, which is sad because it can be so beautiful. Family really can be a bunch of people you find, and it doesn't need labels!! to summarize: Fuck the concept of the nuclear family, all the homies hate the concept of the nuclear family

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Seishirou Jigoku, he's big and dumb and beefy, pure babygirl <3 But in all seriousness, he is such a fascinating character to me! He really seems like the kind of person who could have done good things in his own little sector, totally inconsequential and mundane, but good. I think he shares a lot of the same characteristics as Genshin and Yujin, optimistic and a bit patriotic. I like to think that he was pretty close with Yujin, it was HIM that convinced the latter to go on the trip after the death of Ayame after all! I just love to think about him so much, how he is with those around them. When it's just him as the judge, he's calm and collected, serious and gets the job done. With Yujin (And I presume with Genshin as well), he's jovial, a little bit goofy and all around enjoyable to be around However, with Stronghart, he twists in on himself, and he leads himself to hell. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and I think that really does describe his character so well! He wanted to change the court system in his home, to make it brilliant, but he had to eventually do the unthinkable that fateful night in the cemetery <//3 At the end of the day, he's a small and bitter man... See, he's so interesting!! Prompts here!

#ask game #ask meme #the great ace attorney #the great ace attorney chronicles #tgaa #tgaac #dai gyakuten saiban #dgs #discourse #jigoku seishirou #jigoku seishiro #seishirou jigoku #seishiro jigoku #impromptu character analysis #thank you for the ask!!

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Hey there!! Could I request a matchup for BG3 for a male companion? 

My Tav’s name is Luz, and she’s a silly little rogue who isn’t actually all that good at being a rogue.

She’s very high-energy, like bouncing off the walls style. Girlie is physically incapable of keeping still. She’s very outgoing and has very little sense of awkwardness, making it easy for her to talk to and get to know people. She will see someone she finds remotely interesting sitting by themself, say “Is anyone gonna go up to them?”, and not wait for an answer. Definitely can come off as flirting, whether intentional or not. Most of the time, it is intentional lmao. She won’t push boundaries or anything, but shes just a very naturally affectionate person, kisses the homies goodnight, etc. However, when she actually catches feelings for somebody, she turns into a complete mess. Falling over her words, falling over actual objects, trying to be suave and show off while picking a lock but accidentally setting off an alarm— it’s rough. 

She enjoys anything that involves large crowds, hustle and bustle. She’s a city girl, y’know? Totally has nothing to do with the fact that it’s easier to pickpocket people in large crowds. Due to her ✨background✨ she didn’t get to experience much outside of where she grew up, which led to a deep-seated desire to experience absolutely everything. Due to this, she’ll basically never say ‘no’ to a new experience— she’ll try anything once. TLDR: She’s very Chaotic Good (not that the alignment system actually does much, but you get what I mean), with a bit of a selfish slant in the sense that, before joining up with the party, she mostly operated out of self-interest. 

🫀🫀🫀

A/N: Okay, for your rogue Tav named Luz, I’m thinking she’d be best matched with Astarion!

⭐ Astarion is a great match for Luz! He’s determinedly interested in experiencing all life has to offer, having been kept away from it for so long, so he’s very much on board with Luz’s need to go everywhere and see unequivocally everything. 

He’s also (in my opinion) a pretty adept rogue (so long as the di rolls in your favor), so I think Astarion could give Luz a pointer or two on how to be more aloof when it comes to meeting people. He certainly gives a good enough example, but that's another reason I think they’d be great together. Because Luz is so genuinely affectionate and extroverted, she’ll keep talking to him, and slowly break down all those hard protective barriers of his. 

Plus he can be a bit of a mopey drama queen lol. He needs someone excited about life, about doing things to forcibly pull him out of any pity party or slumps! 

Astarion may be disappointed that Luz isn’t always flirting, because he usually is- it’s one of his go-to defense mechanisms. But once he understands she’s just truly that friendly, I think he’d let his guard down around her and appreciate someone who isn’t always coming on to him, or just interested in him for his body/sex. 

Be warned, he will tease the hell out of her once she starts to catch feelings and gets all blushy and stammer-y around him. He can’t help it. She’s just too cute not to tease. He won’t take it too far (for the most part), but he will do it enough to have memorized the exact shade of crimson her cheeks make when embarrassed. 

Once Cazador is taken care of, Astarion would love living in the city- the bustle, the rush, the people, the arts- all of those things are things he’s been waiting years to indulge in, and he’d want nothing more than to do so with Luz at his side. 

Astarion also has a fair amount of selfishness to him. In his defense, a good deal of it comes from survival but a small part of it was there prior to being turned. He’s a man of extravagance, why wouldn’t he be a little bit selfish? But since joining the party and making friends, and since finding a romantic partner in Luz, I’d imagine he’d be more likely to reign those luxurious tendencies in, at least, the ones that only pertain to him. I see him lavishing Luz in all amenities money can buy- tickets to shows, jewelry, fine clothes, expensive meals, all Luz has to do is simply name it, and Astarion will buy it for her. And if he can’t afford it, well, let’s just say it’s a good thing this couple is made up of two rogues- there’ll never be a time where they’re more than an arm’s reach from some coin. 

⭐

Please Like & Reblog if you see this! 

(I’m starting to think I have been shadowbanned because I’m not popping up in some people’s notifications. So if you see this, like or rb to let me know.) 

#astarion x tav #astarion imagine #bg3 astarion #astarion x reader #bg3 x tav #bg3 x reader #bg3 #bg3 matchups #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate imagine #baldurs gate 3 x reader #baldurs gate x reader #baldurs gate matchups #matchups

[nerdyenby]

Green time :D I’m watching Jojo

Pregame

Gosh, she’s so pretty. Sorry, just had to get that off my chest

I know green got some bad luck but I’m hoping the energy survives and thrives, I’m ready for vibes!!

Jojo stays on the grind, she’s insane /pos

I know Kara would’ve said if it was H, but I like to imagine that it was H who just showed up and offered her bacon without warning

“Maybe there are kind people in this world” Jojo going through it, don’t mind her

Pete and Jojo are so freaking funny together. They’re both so deadpan it’s amazing, I’m dying

Haha who who have past MCC teams memorized, that’s so whack hahahah (it wasn’t intentional, okay? It just happens when you run two 64-spot team brackets ;-;)

Seriously though, no one can be expected to remember MCC teams from more than one event ago, if that, including (and dare I say especially) content creators. Those are your pals and you’re at work, why would you be expected to remember who you were with on a specific day??

“Oh you’re in MCC? Name every team you’ve ever been on” so true Pete

“I could probably name every single team I’ve been in” “Weird flex but okay” “Ok, I’ll go for it, here we go” Jojo really said bet

*EEEEI* “Wait, was that wrong?” “No, I just wanted to make a buzzer sound” Pete is so real for that, honestly

“Fuck vod reviewing, all my homies hate vod reviewing” Pete only has banger opinions, sot is the only vod review you need in life

Jojo’s skin is so cute!!

Pete and Jojo saying they’re excited for Michael’s ace race

Hi Hannah!!!

I love this team’s energy

Pete saying he wanted Jesus to take the wheel and Kara appeared from the heavens

“Pinged in real life” 😂

Them making plans to go to a concert together, content creators doing actual irl friend things together makes me so parasocial

Me when I have a resting tremor and my doctor has no idea why

THEYRE THE ONES THAT STARTED THE PUNCHING??? That’s so funny oh my goodness

The best reactions to the intros ever 😂

Grid Runners

This team is so go with the flow, I love them

OH MY GOD THIS STRAT

“For team morale, any time we fail a game we need at least one person on the team that can take the fall, whether it was their fault or not. Grid runners is mine, so if we fail I’m the asshole” this is so iconic I can’t

“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen” so true Pete

Grid goes so quickly because it’s! the best! game!!!

“Guys we suck” that’s the spirit!!

“Let me check who’s to blame for this one.. Oh it’s me! Alright, lay it on me!!” “Damn Pete, what the hell?” I love this team so much

Parkour Warrior

I love the blame game they’re doing

Jojo’s popping off!!!

Jojo’s so good at this it make my heart happy but painfully, or it hurts my heart in a good way, whichever makes more sense

Rip Kara, it’s okay, it’s crazy easy to flop when the pressure gets that bad, no worries queen <333

Aw Michael was so close too :((

“As per the law, this is my fault […] I threw- oh, I’m top 5!!” Y’all don’t understand how I’m love I am with this gimmick, green30’s blame game my beloved

I love how parkour warrior isn’t just about parkour skills, it also really emphasizes time management. It makes it more variable and interesting because it’s not just gonna be the same three people winning every time because there’s no single right way to do it. It’s now a strategy game and I’m so down for that, you don’t understand

Sands of Time

“You guys suck! I’m taking about the other teams” “That’s fine” “We suck too”

Jojo my igl!!!

Michael doesn’t know our lord and savior HBomb94??? Smh…

Gosh, we’re watching a master at work, people

Michael is such a good sand keeper, he just has such “this is your captain speaking” energy

“Michael your comms are incredible, I need you to know that” yes Pete!! Hype him up!!!!

Jojo found the vault so quick but that tunnel is MASSIVE

HISTORY HAS BEEN MADE!!!! GREEN30 SUPREMACY!!!!!

JOJO SOT CHAMPION!!!!

And now we throw, so true

Ace Race

Michael be like: stonks

Jojo repping us anxiety girlies, as she should (I’m not a girl but I’m anxious enough that I think I qualify)

MUSIC TIME WITH JOJO :DD

The turtles do go boing, so true Michael

Pete and Jojo are everything

Pete and Jojo holding hands for an entire lap and a half my beloved

Jojo giving Pete the strength to do the skip then missing it herself

Kara personal best yippee!!!!

Pete fastest lap my beloved!!

YIPPPPEEEEE

Michael is thriving this MCC, we love to see it

Ayyyyy halftime show!!!!! Get it ladies!!!

This is a phone flashlight moment right here

I JUST STARTED CLAPPING IRL!??!??!! MY PARENTS HAVE PEOPLE OVER 😭😭😭

Meltdown

“Here’s the plan: uh, follow me” so true Jojo

Gosh, I love this team. No stress, no rage, just “okay, here’s what we change”

OH MY GOSH

HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE IN THIS ROOM????

THAT WAS INSANE!!!

Kara 😭😂😂😂 the sass, my goodness

“I don’t care” Kara is so real for this, I strive to be that self-assured

“Everybody pause. Shut up now. Who?” “Where the fuck is Mumbo Jumbo?” Funniest part is that I don’t know if any of these people actually know Mumbo

Battle Box

“Everyone’s looking at me!! Oh, everyone fell. Oh my god, everyone died” 😂

Mmmm yes, tight corners my beloved /s

Prison my beloathed

WHEN DID THE GAME START???? DID I ACCIDENTALLY SKIP FORWARD AND NOT NOTICED OR WAS I JUST THAT SPACED OUT???

I like battle box, I do, I just feel like I’m never paying enough attention ;-;

Winning against red was huge, they had such good comms too

We love finding a good groove :))

Gosh the vibes are immaculate, you expect them to be super sweaty but they’re just comming in gibberish

Jojo 13 kills?!??!!

“That’s my teammate!!” Heck yeah it is, gosh Pete and Jojo are everything

Michael willing to take one for the team, what a king

Sky Battle

Jojo igl my beloved

You got this, queen

Kara hyping up Michael’s kill :))

Rip, unfortunate spawn, happens to everyone

Pete’s tone when he said Michael’s name after he died 😂

“They need to give the chicken swap to two people and enable pvp” Pete is a genius

Hole in the Wall

The absolute sass, I love them

“It’s all your fucking fault” thank you Michael

I didn’t even realize they weren’t calling colors 😭

THOSE are the lyrics??? I thought it was “I believe” not “if I was green” lmao

Jojo flipped a switch in her brain and called the most supreme hitw comms of all time

“100- I mean, red” real

“Hey, guys? I’ll take the blame on this one” “Don’t.” “King, I’ll steal the blame from you” “I will too, I messed up” this is violating the spirit of the blame game /s

Pete and Jojo holding hands on the leaderboard my beloved!!!

Dodgebolt

“I would’ve appreciated if we would’ve like, said beforehand ‘oh hey, I’m gonna throw now’ so like, I would’ve been able to be emotionally prepared”

Maybe the real treasure was the parkour tag we skipped along the way

“Man, I even took my performance-enhancing drugs” KARA 😭😭😭

Cheering when Firecracker came and joined their screenshot, then keeping the energy when Fruit, Illumina, and 5up joined in too

Them all being so excited to team together :((

THAT SOT WAS LEGENDARY!!!! GREEN30 YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!!!!

They’re such bad listeners /aff

“You guys don’t listen to each other, yet you listen to me when I make calls in skybattle? What the fuck?” Pete 😂

“When was the last time we saw numbers like that in sands of time?” The answer is never, Jojo!! Y’all made history!!!

Michael stop being self-deprecating, I swear, a good sand keeper is an absolute necessity and you killed it king

GREEN30 PLATE UP!!!! I don’t know it that well but it’s such fun chaos

I’ve missed these little post-mcc chats where a bunch of people join a random channel and just talk, it’s giving season one vibes :))

#mcc 30 #mcc #mc championship #mc championships #jojosolos #petezahhutt #kara corvus #michael mcchill #nerdy’s mcc reactions #cw caps #cw swearing

[wifegideonnav]

well i… finished act 5 act 2. gonna have to rewatch cascade a bunch of times and probably read the act summary on the wiki but i have officially reached the end of the act

still enjoying it a lot but it’s getting harder and harder to read. summing up a rant i gave my friend, i’m not super in love with the sense of predestined futility - or more accurately, i don’t feel that the narrative has properly addressed that yet and justified why i should be reading about these characters who were like 100x doomed from the start.

there are so many characters and so much happening that nothing is lingered upon, which is nice pacing-wise but not so nice emotional-impact-wise. i also think the “everybody dies a bajillion times and it’s fine until all of a sudden it’s not” thing works against it in a sense, especially when the narrative doesn’t stop to mourn anyone who’s actually dead, bc by the time you realize hey wait maybe like. vriska or dad or feferi/nepeta/equius etc are dead for real it’s been like 200+ pages and you’re like well ok. what do i do here exactly.

and i know that that’s an intentional choice hussie made for how he wanted to craft his narrative - im wishing for things that he deliberately chose not to give. im not trying to say that these choices are flaws in his writing, just that as an audience member i tend to prefer the tlt method of dealing with death, where one main character dies and then the entire next book is about another ripping herself apart because of it.

im not giving up by any means, or even saying that this is what’s dominating my reading experience. like i said im still enjoying myself and appreciate most of the creative decisions that hussie is making. it can just feel very draining i suppose, watching these characters i’ve come to care about - almost all of whom are literal children - fighting so hard so futilely, and so far, imo the narrative hasn’t paid that off. however, with that out of the way, here are (some of, bc this shit was long as hell) my thoughts on the act, more or less in order:

i have literally no interest in johnkat. probably partially bc my friend is so into davekat that ive been conditioned to just wait for that to happen but also bc they have no chemistry. sorry to any johnkat shippers out there but idc it’s boring

i have slightly more but still negligible interest in john/vriska. probably bc i… don’t really care about john. sorry to any john stans out there but idc he’s boring

karkat and terezi sharing a keyboard to argue my beloved

rose my beloved. but also. sweetie :/

vriska my beloved. but also. SWEETIE :/

kanaya my beloved. you’re doing great no notes

oh yeah dave and terezi manipulated the stock market. still don’t 100% understand that but whatever good for them

yeah ok the dream bubbles. christ. like ok i GET it but they’re still annoying

i love jade’s dynamic with karkat she really goes from “teehee im just a silly little girl haha” to “im going to eviscerate this motherfucker”

bec prototyping himself was genuinely such a good reveal

is it just me or is john's power like. way lamer than the other kids' lmao. like it's still cool, def better than nothing, but come on

not too much to say abt the exiles but i love them

also with all the fucking timeline bullshit that's going on i literally can't wait to reach the end and reread with the uhsc mod that lets you follow a specific person's timeline. i canNOT keep track of what's happening when for who

it is literally so funny that vriska has been the cause of jade's narcolepsy this entire time. like wow girl you really took the opportunity to be a massive dick to her huh

LET'S BE SANTA

frogs. ok sure. why not.

fuck doc scratch all my homies hate doc scratch. i will say though. he is a fantastic character.

holy shit eridan and gamzee snapping and killing like everyone. that was buckwild what the fuck. not gonna lie idc that equius is dead, and nepeta, feferi, and tavros were never my faves. but got damn it sucks that they're dead. (ostensibly. still not one thousand percent convinced)

sad karkat :(

murderous kanaya :D

WV "DRIVING" AHHHH

oh god the ancestors. sorry but i simply do not care about that shit. like i know that they're actually relevant but. :/

also i don't like the trope of chains of events being echoed across generations. like damn get your own plot. also it ties into that determinism and futility that i'm grappling with

i will say though. mindfang mentally thanking redglare for taking her arm because then her battle against his honorable tyranny because it made it "a fair fight"? hot. i'm brave enough to say it.

aradia is cool as fuck. i wish we got more of her/her personality

aradia's ancestor is also cool as fuck. sucks that literally nothing she did to resist her fate worked or mattered

the scratch stuff is genuinely interesting narratively/in terms of a plot device. again it still sucks that the beta kids aren't actually going to get to win the game themselves. like i assume they'll be talking to/guiding the alpha kids but like. god it's so unfairrr i bet there'll be angst about this

rose going grimdark is so fun. also LMAO john trying to chat with her in that flash game portion

TEREZI god i love her. sucks that she killed vriska tho bc i love her and also i ship them. oh well murder is not necessarily a roadblock to them getting together. troll romance sure is weird. i have hope in my heart.

vriska isn't dead forever bc no she isnt <3

the betty crocker shit. is funny. and also stupid as hell.

SAD KARKAT :((

ok i guess the stuff about karkat's ancestor and the history of the troll race is kinda interesting. whatever.

everyone's in love/hate with gamzee all of a sudden?? literally why. troll romance sure is FUCKING confusing

that was a pretty anticlimactic climax to the gamzee situation, gotta say

cascade was confusing as fuck i don't have thoughts on it yet

so yeah that's it! if you're still reading, why? let me know what your thoughts on act 5 act 2 were when you read it, or your thoughts on my thoughts lol. just pls no spoilers for anything past cascade!!

#hs #op

[roydeezed]

One Piece-Chapter Round-Up(Chapter 1080)

This chapter we whip around to another part of the world to see our favourite fearless hero rescuing his protege. This makes me straight up terrified ya’ll. I’ll go into why later. Though this might seem like a pretty self-contained chapter, it puts forward some heavy implications about the state of conflicts going forward. Mainly, how many different factions there will actually be. Oda usually likes to keep the focus pretty dialed in on the Strawhats so it was wild that he not only cut away to Law, but also Sabo and Kid. And now with this focus on Koby, he makes his intentions clear. Not only will this upcoming conflict focus on the newer generation, Luffy as a Pirate, Coby as a Government Agent, and Sabo as a Revolutionary, but many, many factions will be involved, including the Revolutionary Army, The World Government, SWORD, The Strawhats, The Red-Haired Pirates, The Blackbeard Pirates, and Cross Guild. And the reason why Oda’s cutting away so much is that he needs us to understand how it all came together. This is the world that the Marineford War set into place, and it shows that the death of one of the strongest people in history, Whitebeard, was only the lighting of a powder keg. I’m gonna go in-depth on this chapter past the “Keep reading” so check it out for more thoughts. 

These are some Departed, Infernal Affairs type vibes I'm getting here.

Okay, so there’s no way Garp makes it out of this alive, right? Both sides can’t make it out of this unscathed so there needs to be some sort of give from one side. Blackbeard needed to split his focus among several places and getting Poneglyph rubbings were a priority for him so he went to the least contested island the victors of Wano were going to. By splitting Blackbeard’s crew Oda gets to do a few things. Through the story he gets to showcase the different abilities of the Blackbeard Pirates in order to set them up as proper rivals to the Strawhats, and as Blackbeard he gets to show us his priorities. First of all, let’s look at the breakdown again.  So since Van Auger, Burgess, and Doc Q were with Blackbeard fighting Law, and Shiryu, Pizarro, Sanjuan Wolf and Vasco Shot are on Hachinosu, that leaves Catarina Devon and Lafitte with Aokiji on Egghead. Let’s examine the dynamics there because I think Blackbeard’s about to betray Aokiji and Moria is actually the tenth titanic captain.

First of all, knowing he would fight someone quite capable he brought his homies with him. He only needs one guaranteed victory. So why send someone to egghead? And with only 3 people as opposed to the 4 each on Hachinosu and against Law? Because Catarina Devon and Lafitte, the two sneakiest members of the Blackbeard Pirates, aren’t there to help Aokiji take anyone down. They’re there to kill Aokiji. Maybe if it’s me imagining things and giving Blackbeard too much credit but he’s not dumb. As soon as Aokiji is forced to explain SWORD, Blackbeard’s whole demeanor changes. I do believe he intended to use Koby as a bargaining chip but now he’s possible bait. I think Blackbeard has realized that Aokiji is SWORD and is sending Lafitte and Devon there with him to assassinate him. I think this would be confirmed we see Lafitte and some other person with Aokiji since if Devon is disguised in front of Aokiji, it’s him she’s trying to trick. 

Next, narratively I don’t think it makes sense for Garp to get out of this alive. One, it would be an excellent chance for Garp to pass on his will to Koby and second it would provide more motivation for Luffy to take down Blackbeard. It’s also is a good chance to show off his powers and introduce us to his squad that he’ll sacrifice himself for. I just don’t see him having a part in the final fight going forward. And that brings us to one key thing, that decides if Hachinosu itself is a trap for Garp or not. And that’s if Blackbeard knows how much Koby means to Garp. If he does, this whole thing with Koby trying to free Moria could be a trap. While Moria loves his crew, why would he stand up to such a ruthless pirate such as Blackbeard and why would Blackbeard even leave him alive? The only other reason than it being a trap is that Blackbeard hasn’t found who he will give Moria’s fruit to and the previous owner needs to be alive before the transition. Also there’s the fact that Blackbeard has beef with Garp since Blackbeard we clearly in some way shape or form an admirer of Xebec, who was officially taken down by Garp. Maybe that’s why he was originally going after Luffy before switching his focus to Ace. 

In this chapter we find out the fruit’s of some of the other titanic captains and get another mention of the rocky port incident in which Blackbeard acqquired Hachinosu with Koby’s help after Law instigated it. I really love how it flavours the world as this huge event that took place while we weren’t observing Luffy. Pizarro ate the island-island fruit which seems to be an evolution of Pica's fruit the same way Akainu’s fruit is an evolution to the mera-mera-no-mi. Vasco Shot has a fire based fruit and Sanjuan Wolf ate a giagantification fruit which I guess makes him able to become even bigger. This chapter, more than anything seems to be setting up for the future conflict by letting us see the players in action before the final conflict as we also see some Marine’s in action like Kujaku with her whip-whip fruit that can command inanimate objects, Prince Grus with his squelch-squelch fruit that probably made the clay infantry, and Hibari, who can use some variety of powers. While most marines seem to match up against pirates, it seems these agents, who are probably SWORD, match up more with the revolutionary army, with Kujaku mirroring Belo Betty, Prince Grus mirroring Kurasu, and Hibari mirroring Koala while being a tsundere like Pudding.

I really love the characterization this chapter. Koby is such a damn hero while also putting into perspective how terrible his life has been that he doesn’t believe anyone would rescue him. I really want him to know the lengths that Hibari and Helmeppo went to save after this cause my boy needs to know his self worth. I also adore that Garp put on such a huge display of love for Koby. Believe in your worth Koby, you’re a gem. Koby also readily sacrifices himself to be bait and even looks death in the eyes calmly, he’s rreally shaping up to be a great rival to Luffy. He’s still got a ways to go as Luffy is already a Yonkou. We also see that Blackbeard probably trusts Shiryu a lot as he left him in charge of three incredibly destructive people in San Juan Wolf, Pizarro, and Vasco Shot.

With Oda jumping around so much, I don’t know where the story is going to go next but I’d love to see this conflict play out fully. We might head back to Egghead before cleaning this one up just like we did with the Kid conflict. Either way, we’re in for another break week so strap in folks. 

#one piece chapter 1080 #one piece #manga recap #manga discussion #one piece spoilers #blackbeard #monkey d garp #koby one piece

[the-average-melli]

Stinky sMelli Redemption?

I alluded to it--it was coming! Can such a ratchet character ever be redeemed? Is there anything to like or add to this character to make them more than a blundering doodoohead that occasionally pops up to take a flaming dump in your cereal just because it bothers you? Why, yes. Yes there are. Just as people have good and bad qualities about them, SMelli and other arguably complex characters also come with their fair share of goods and bads. In this post, I will go over what I believe to be redeeming qualities for this tol twink. I will stick to canon information, but you can find head canons where I expand on sMelli's canon traits, too.

He cares for the homies

His bio on the official Pokémon Legends Arceus website mentions that, "He puts on airs and is a tad quick to fight, but he cares passionately for his fellow clan members." Even if he doesn't show it when the player is around, it is canon that he does actually care for them. There are a lot of people who care in their own way, and part of having a close circle of friends is knowing how each person expresses care. Based on how he cares for the members of his Clan in particular, I'd venture to say sMelli is the type who seems sour and salty to outsiders, but has some other side that he will only show to close friends in his personal circle who understand him and have earnt his trust. We don't show our most vulnerable sides to strangers we just met, so I find it reasonable and fair that sMelli doesn't feel obligated to show the player, a complete stranger, any vulnerable sides of him. He's doing what we call in the industry a "pro-gamer move:" keeping people you don't know at arms' length and not investing in them until you've been around them long enough to feel comfortable sharing more.

Honesty is the best policy

SMelli is honest. Most other characters in Hisui are fine trusting a 15-or-so-year old kid who fell from the sky randomly one day and the ones who don't instantly trust the player are gradually won over after seeing how well the player fairs in the fields as an adept Survey Corps member. Even those characters like Irida and Kamado who are skeptical of the player's intents at first are eventually won over by the alacrity of the player. The same is not true for the stinky sMelli. He doesn't like outsiders meddling around and inserting themselves in affairs they have no business being involved in, and for good reason when thinking about this avoidance from another perspective. Not everyone is going to trust you or even like you at first, which is a good quality to have when you are looking out for yourself and others who matter to you. Part of self-care is realising that you can't help others if you can't help yourself, and sMelli at least recognises this by how honest he is. Honesty alone is a respectable trait because it takes a lot of courage to speak up, especially if you're saying something that others won't like to hear. Being honest is perceived by many as "rude," but oftentimes, honesty only appears rude because of how it's delivered and how another hearing it takes it. Being blunt and honest are rare, yet commednable traits; if you know someone is blunt and honest, you know they won't be lying to you by telling you what you want to hear; they aren't only telling you things that make you feel good. You can rely on candid people to give you all kinds of feedback or new ways to look at things you're dealing with!

The chutzpah! The audacity!

If there is one thing that stinky sMelli has, it's the ✨️audacity✨️. For better or for worse, he has a lot of nerve. This is a great quality to have in the right scenarios. Taking risks, doing or saying things people may not like, or staying true to your own authentic self and what you may believe in are all possible with a little nerve. Unlocking ✨️the audacity✨️ in our daily lives can embue us with the testicular fortitude to grab life by the throat, get out of bed, and do whatever we need to do to survive. Daring to be true to ourselves is not easy, especially in a world where others command unity and conformity to a certain standard or norm. Fear not! For having ✨️the audacity✨️ also fills one with the confidence and creativity required to defy norms and rules whenever they are stupid or arbitrary. Melli has his own views about the frenzying Noble Pokémon which makes him unique from other characters. His own views give an alternative perspective to whether or not someone should stop the rampaging Noble pokémon. It might be an ill-informed take, but sMelli has ✨️the audacity✨️ to stand by what he thinks. Going all in for something you believe in can be inspiring, especially for people who aren't as brave enough to take a stand, think for themselves, ask questions, or be their authentic selves without regret. It's easier said than done, which is why someone who can do these things clearly had a history that shaped them into the kind of person overflowing with a lot of chutzpah!

A driving force

SMelli's stinky personality works as a foil for other characters' personalities to react to and bounce off of. From a writing perspective, having foils is an excellent way of breathing life into otherwise static NPCs with little to nothing that makes them memorable. Having a character like sMelli presents an opportunity draw out the differing personalities of other characters in the world. In PLA, a high-point was watching stinky sMelli fire relentless shots at Lian's unsuspecting hat and watching Lian retort back. That moment cut the tension of the climax at the Temple of Sinnoh and it felt like an effective use of comedy to balance out the serious elements of the storyline at that point. Stinky sMelli and his antics are very silly, and it puts a smile on my face to watch Lian and him squabble like an old married couple or two siblings who need to be torn apart to make sure they don't unalive each other. It's moments like this that made the game outside of the actual storyline and other high points that many already praise it for, like the unique two-stage final boss battle of the post-game.

Not entirely static

Stinky sMelli does experience character development implied throughout the game. The first implication occurs during the Daybreak update for PLA which added more content with the massive outbreaks and more opportunities to rematch NPCs in battle. Stinky sMelli appears to give out epic aguav berries for the player's adorable efforts investigating the outbreaks. After giving one of the best shooketh faces a character can have in this game, he departs and Mai informs the player that he used to be a very shy (stinky) boy. He one day decided to change so he could help Adaman. People have many character arcs in their own lives, and it was wonderful to see this twink get some kind of backstory. How he changed into the opposite of who he was as a kid is left open to interpretatiom, but the fact remains that he started from the bottom and now he's--not at the bottom anymore (??) He changed over the years with a particular goal in mind, much like any person would if they were dead set on achieving a goal of their own. How lovely. 🌺 I include how he might have changed over the years in my head canons for him; no matter how he did, he surely must have had to stay on the grind and get out of his comfort zone to try new things. That's pretty respectable since it can be quite the challenge to change or improve parts of the self.

The Update includes another chance to interact with the stinkiest Warden in the entire region! During the battle, he is still his very twinkie self, but he at the very least acknowledges the player as a decent sparring partner. He makes similar acknowledgement of the player and actually throws less shade at them as the game progresses. He will always consider himself "Great" but by the end of the game, he is willing to admit that the player is a formidable opponent in battle. By the end of the game, his name-calling transforms from a condescending form of address to mere teasing. (What a tease!)

I will never forget the first nice thing this massive twinkie man ever said to me: he would be here for "moral support!" It hits so different when a character who has done nothing but drag you to the moon and back in insults finally says one nice thing to you. It feels like they mean it since they won't say it often and being so supportive is just so out of pocket for a stinky sMelli like him!

He has a good outlook on existence

This can be taken multiple ways, but I choose to look at it with a side of optimism. Suffering surely is quite painful. It isn't ideal, but without suffering no human would have any character development. We have grown to be who we are because of adversity, and resillience. There are many obstacles and forces that may try to take us out of the game of life prematurely, and yet, we are still here today. To acknowledge and suggest that suffering is a large part of the human experience is not to say that it is mandatory, nor ideal in the slightest. It is how we handle the trials and tribulations life thrusts our way that speaks to the amount of perserverence required to just keep swimming. When you look at it from a deeper side, this quote from the stinkiest of twinkies is actually quite profound! I don't expect such existentialism or intentionality in a kid's game, so I am delightfully surprised by dialogue like this. His moment of wisdom here is not the only one.

We are walking contradictions of ourselves

In the above dialogue, stinky sMelli has another real moment: while he wasn't as supportive of the player (me! These are my screenshots hurrah!) and casually did everything he could to prevent them from reaching the Moonview arena... he admits a part of him did hope the player would make it. This is a good note to end on, seeing as it speaks to something about humans as a species. We are walking contradictions of ourselves whether we choose to say it or not. As humans, we have biases, dreams, preferences, and more! We have experiences unique to ourselves and our own inner-worlds. Anyone who enjoys this Disney Princess on Crack™ as much as I may be just as much of a contradiction. There are many toxic people online here who love this character (perhaps because they embody the worst at times and can relate to another just as poisonous!) I have no doubts about that, but I would like to assume that there are also decent humans that take a liking to this character. Assuming there are, congratualtions on being a walking contradiction; we find quite the appeal in one of the most ratchet, feral, and off-putting characters in Pokémon! That is a cause for celebration! Despite his flaws and how we as humans may not condone the things he might do in our own lives, we are still smitten by an obnoxiously flambouyant fictional mans! What an achievement we have unlocked. And how excellent: the reward is knowing that there are in fact a niche few who do in fact see good in even the wildest characters!

In conclusion

This man is a very petty man-child and a Dollar Store Disney Princess on Crack rolled into one hot mess, but he is my hot mess. I would not want him any other way. Even if it's hard for most, I do see good qualities somewhere deep within him. He is just the type who needs to trust you and know you before caring about you, and that care is expressed in his own stinky way. I would not want anyone else but him to babysit my balls or have my D

This is the second part of my super stinky sMelli character analysis! Click here if you missed part one!

Of course I spent five hours straight writing this two part character analysis infodump!

#pokemon #gaming #pla #pokemon arceus #pokemon legends arceus #melli #pokemon melli #pla melli #pokemon legends arceus melli #warden melli #diamond clan melli #character analysis #character development #character design

[humormehorny]

Ok, but like the patriarchal masculinity is very homoerotic because it strictly promotes the emotional distancing of men from others while at the same time recognizing that humans genuinely need to both give and receive love and affection.

We can see this play out in male spaces where men are allowed to do things to meet the emotional needs of their male counterparts while denying that any of the actions are romantic or otherwise intimate, thus not transgressing the patriarchy.

For instance when men ask: “Bois, is it gay to kiss your homies goodnight?” The answer is “no, it’s not gay to kiss the homes goodnight”. But it’s important for outsiders to understand that the response does not refer to the act of kissing males being gay or not, rather it’s asking whether or not the act of males kissing upholds patriarchal masculinity. It asks if men can have intimate relationships sexual, romantic or otherwise. In this context to be gay is to be intimate; to be intimate is to be a violation of patriarchal masculinity.

We can see this in other contexts like that meme saying “it’s not gay unless the balls touch”. This is to suggest that the act in question isn’t intimate unless a very particular thing happens during said act that makes it so. For instance it’s not gay to do anal with a man unless the balls touch. This is clearly an absurd statement without context, but with it we can say that the speaker is outlining what is and isn’t intimate which is important because the patriarchy requires men to be distant and isolated as possible. The same thing can be said for “guys being dudes vine”. These are the very few Spaces where men can get the love they need but also not too much.

I think it’s also important to understand that gay and other terms aren’t just being used to talk about the amount of intimacy a man gets. It’s also talking about whether or not it exists in the first place. To say it’s not gay also means to imply that it’s not relationship of some sort that’s stronger than what’s allowed of male friendships. by denying an acts “gayness” they are denying that there was an emotional connection there at all. This is also quite harmful and should not be overlooked.

This extends to relationships with women as well. This is most prevalently seen in the way that men tend to have one good friend, that being his girlfriend, partner or wife, but not having much of a social network outside of it. This contributes to his overall emotional distance through social isolation, wherein the only space that men believe they can share any vulnerability at all is with their partner. I think that there are important conversations about how partners reinforce the patriarchal expectations of masculinity even if they are feminists or lack the intention to do so, but I’m not sure how to proceed so I’ll leave that for the comments.

But I do want to continue with this line of thought to the broader society. Because I think that this isolation isn’t just peer to peer but also intercommunal. We will judge men in public that don’t conform to the patriarchy. I think that this is the norm set and by just by being present we enforce a level of emotional distance that is anti-human.

In these way patriarchal masculinity strives to promote relationships for men that have as little emotional substance as possible while attending to meet and lower their emotional needs.

One last thing

While writing this I remembered @genderkoolaid talking about way people talk to trans men regarding social isolation, because if memory serves me write they told him to “find company among cis men” which is a wild statement considering the previous essay, but also just how scary it is to transition into manhood. Like it must be really painful losing closeness with other people even if y’all remain friends.

I think it’s important that we talk about how trans men are specifically targeted by this system and what we can do to stop it.

#I use patriarchal masculinity to mean in some sense toxic masculinity. #both because it suggests that it’s systemic in nature (stems from the patriarchy) #while also not allowing others to misuse it by association #masculinity #men #homoerotism #the patriarchy #patriarchy #patriarchal masculinity #toxic masculinity

[max1461]

Yo maxxyy! Lay me down some thickus dickus beatzzz!

Uh, yeah, oh yeah. Uh, yeah, oh oh

Gimme the mic so my ass can drop some rhymes

The po-po can't incarcerate me for my crimes

Their shit stink and their faces sour like they sucking limes

But my homies keep the Fifth like fucking mimes

When I rap this good even mimes wanna fuck

Gimme soixante-neuf in the cab of my truck

Ride it like a rodeo I make their hips buck

If they have spouses you know those bitches is cucked

But the cuckoldry is consensual

Consent is indispensable

To cross that line is indefensible

You gotta be respectful when you're getting sensual

To your senses, my rap is a movable feast

Bitches try to understand but they don't know the least

Of what it takes or how to be such a fucking beast

My shit infectious; get in your pussy like yeast

That's quite enough of sex and violence

If you miss me: play it on two tiny violin-s

Your shit is worse than the mere sound of si-o-lence

My shit is dingus bangus titty shlorpi g fucknuts glomping ass ass ass ass ass ass-

-Suckyfuckydiplickticktips ass ass ass smashingcrashingbrashing fingersinhisassing-

-Academy-Award-winning like Mark Rylance!

Word!

hey kid, let me learn you a lesson

youve got some pluck but ya dont know who you're testin

if you challenge me, i'll do you a solid

i wont fuck your shit like my terrible maw did

when an intruder! came into my lair last night

and i gnashed and gnawed and sawed him up right

no no, i won't harm you that way

you're a good guy so you're here to stay

see i know you dont mean it, i recognize your good intentions

so instead of destruction i'll meet your challenge with attention:

whats up anon, how does it go?

hows been your day watch any good shows?

how about dicks, give any a blow?

which of course would a good thing — but i think you know

as for me ive just been chillin

got a big shrimp which i've been grilling

it's a little exciting but i admit it's not thrillin

he came from the sea and i met him on a beach

and when i said hi he said he'd been impeached

he was the president, of shrimp land country

which he ruled with his friend the monkey

but whoa! then the monkey betrayed him

took over the palace became a dictator like kim

so the shrimp he left, went on a long voyage

escaped to many lands until he met ya boy, —skridge—

sorry i just developed a speech impediment

i randomly say —skridge— when something else is meant

anyway, hey hey, what was i about to say?

oh right, the shrimp, well he met a well-known gay

and he said hey ive got one last wish

can you grill me up right and send me on a platter to the fish

who helped the monkey overthrow my regime

make him eat his own buddy make him fight his own team

and i said FUCK why thats really dark

but if its really what you want then i;ll do it on a lark

and so i did, and im sending him off

to evil monkey's palace with a FUCKIN scoff

fuck that monkey he's a real bad dude

but ill stop rambling now i don't wanna be rude.

#anon #shitpostposting

[wtflife01]

I don’t know if this is relevant but it’s been bugging me. I understand gossip and the fun investigative side but a couple of things seem weird to me. The Charles situation, how are people finding out who follows his alleged girlfriend? Are people just stalking their follows? Or people in his circle? Also maybe it’s me being naive but it doesn’t prove anything? Some friends apparently followed her before him so what does it matter? You can’t think every brunette is her.

Maybe they are. Maybe they aren’t. Maybe it’s just fun or friendship. However people are so quick to call him a homie hopper or serial dater when we just don’t know? And the latter doesn’t feel red flag ish to me. Maybe it’s cause I know serial daters and their intentions are usually good and then they meet someone they really like. Lol. Let him live. He’s 25 and successful. He could be doing worse than getting into relationships and his relationship isn’t fucking up his title chances (the TikTok’s saying this feel gross - same with the spam requesting his private Insta.)

There’s now fan pages for a woman who isn’t a confirmed girlfriend. Still fan pages for Cha, still shipping ChaCha online and making weird tributes and AI voice overs about them on TikTok. You can’t search up his tag without something cropping up. It feels really invasive and way beyond gossip

the AI is actually creepy af why are you doing that it’s weird and I’ve seen one of Lando and the comments were pointing out how this AI voice thing is going to end up getting someone cancel and it’s so true 😭 and it’s how the people posting these voice overs aren’t stating it’s AI leading to a lot of people getting confused if it’s real or not which I’m guessing it’s the goal

[brattylikestoeat]

Im glad I wasn't the only person unaware that spaz was a slur lmao and like. I'm not disabled and I will stop using this word because I know it can be hurtful, but it at the same time feels a little silly to me, just because while I don't doubt the word has caused hurt, I just have to wonder how many people actually had ill intent while using the word. Then again, I'm not as sensitive to this stuff either bc for one I'm not disabled and for two my family is uh. Not PC. So being PC has been a learning curve for me and its gotten me into trouble online in the past

I’m not gonna use it. But I think people online especially the younger generation (cause Lizzo is older even tho she looks great) don’t understand that we wasn’t raised online where we could interact with everyone and find out what was offensive and what was not.

Spazz can be both negative and positive, I didn’t listen to the song, don’t plan to so idk how she used it.

“Homie spazzed on the court.” He did good on the court.

“Bro you spazzing out.” Calm down you doing to much.

“The Js we’re spazzing the trap.” The junkies were acting crazy at the trap.

#ask

[bandofchimeras]

hey dude, sorry not trying to be an ass w this but I saw u had a post where in the tags you used delusional and narcissist as pretty derogatory insults towards the govt. Bashing the government is good and great but using terms that we (at least currently) need to describe mental illness (and definitely associate with it!)... in ways like that... its ableist and dehumanizing and leads to more abuse, even if it feels innocent, because if everyone who's a narc or who's delusional is dangerous....that's everyone w/ npd, or a schizospec disorder, or any other things.

Sorry this is long, and again, not trying to be rude! Just wanted to inform you and ask that you maybe be a little more careful with word choice in the future :)

hey anon, yeah thanks for your concern. I do understand the movement to change language usage around mental illness and destigmatize. And it is well intentioned.

Unfortunately, narcissistic and delusional are still pretty generally derogatory words. A person with NPD may not cause harm simply by virtue of having the diagnosis but we all agree narcissism itself isn't a fun cool trait to have. Delusions are obscurations of reality.

We still say manic, depressed, obsessive, etc in both outright negative ways and descriptive but not morally loaded ways. to me it's just part of language, and the ethics of most derogatory language does depend on who's using it.

I'm absolutely behind not calling everyone who sucks a narcissist. and would like people to stop saying "I'm being OCD" or "that's so bipolar," "he's a schizo" and so on. The "delulu" trend online is weird and fetishizes mentally ill people.

For context: I am a person with a narcissistic tendency, due to my childhood. My life has been a long train of psych symptoms... delusions of grandeur, maladaptive daydreaming, hallucinations, psychosis, derealization, depersonalization, dissociative identity states. psychology is one of my longest hyperfixations simply because I needed to understand my experience. it's been helpful and unhelpful in different ways. Pathologization is a phenomen that can't be understood separately from language, culture, history, and violence.

And yet I don't really have a problem with calling things crazy, insane, or batshit. in fact I find power in redefining and playing with these terms. I've been called crazy in a demeaning, invalidating way. And yeah, I'm a lil crizazy, a bit unhinged one might say. But if a motherfucker calls me crazy to invaldiate my argument, I instantly know they've lost. They're being weak, and abusive. It will also piss me the fuck off. I may want to show them what "crazy" looks like. The better angels of my nature will whisper "keep your head."

With the movement to neutralize mental health terms, what's always confused me is the understanding of language itself. I experience words autistically - they have multiple overlapping meanings all the time. Words are like composite images composed of billions of instances of use, fluttering and evolving as they are spoken and written. Vernacular is messy, sputtering and ever changing. Therefore words carry a multitude of connotations. When different people say them in different contexts you can see and hear different implications.

So, I really don't care if a dude at work says "that's fuckin insane bro" ...to a gnarly kickflip. Or a devastating news article. Insane delineates the magnitude of his emotion. It's out of bounds. Something normies and straights would try to contain, institutionalize, label. Christ, that's juicy. It's why I adore skater boy lingo and teen slang. It's careless and crunchy.

English itself, especially corporate and institutional English, can be a strict, bland, and often abusive language. My fellow autistic homies tend to enjoy a rousing jaunt down into the annals of historical parlance for our everyday linguistic transactions because it's fucking boring, the clinical way we are expected to speak here and now.

So therefore: thanks for your message calling attention to my words and their impact.

There are deeper better more poetic words to call the government and frankly I believe the best ones might be found in other languages.

All in all, you're right that "narcissistic" and "delusional" are not the most accurate, potent words to describe the US government. How to convey the twisted, detached from reality, spirit of that entity best in language, though, I need to expand the lexicon. Maybe using these words is cheap. Maybe it covers over the intentionality and corruption at play.

So I'm going to open this up to some language play - and ask you, anon, and anyone else what words can we find to convey the negative meaning of delusional (detached from truth) and narcissistic (inverted and self concerned to the point of dysfunction), in English? or in another language?

I hope you can take this in good faith not as a deflection but really engaging with your ask.

Being language corrected can trigger my harshest defenses. I can feel in my body all the times someone has punished, invalidated, dismissed something I've said because of using "uncivil" or foul or imperfect language. In general, trying to conform to correct ideological forms of language is like, major wretched, dude.

Hell my dorky ass disingenuous nerd of a brother yesterday called a message I sent the family group chat about Palestine "blasphemous" because I said " my god" and used it as an excuse to delete every impassioned exchange we had so the "children wouldn't see," - him be racist, cough. can't make this shit up.

But that's my background. Catholicism is a mental illness. (Sorry in advance to all mental illness havers for associating you with Catholics)

#anon #language #psychology #this is also a recent change for me so its cool if anyone wants to call hypocrisy #a long road to unembodying the social justice warrior archetype of ultracorrective speech policing #which doesnt mean “freeze peach” #but rather #people are gonna say shit man #and you can tell what they mean by it #and educating people on the history of words wont change a spiteful hateful intent #i believe anon is well intentioned tho #destigmatize mental illness #but id rather energy be put towards fighting material and medical abuse in thr systems