#like idk. i told her this week was gonna be tough for me bc of my period | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ajulisz · 2 years

Text

Pairing: Sevika x Reader x Renata Glasc

MC Pronouns: ----

CW: Bit of angst, some low self-esteem, dissociation? but love in the end

Proof read: No, it's 2:30am pls :(

A/N: My friend told me that I like to make Sevika suffer, I'm gonna stay silent and let you be the judge

A/N 2: I deleted the pronouns bc Sevika calls you a doll - and i only realized this now - so idk if everyone feels comfortable with it

If you asked any Zaun inhabitant to describe Sevika in one word, most would say scary or tough, in their eyes she was a woman made of steel, forged by the deepest and obscure parts of the city and it's society and it was common knowledge that she took pride of it.

Little did they know that all of that description was, in reality, chained to her soul like a weight. There are days where she didn't even recognized herself anymore, she couldn't look in the mirror without all the voices that raced in her mind stopped for a little moment, to analyze, criticize and in the end a unison of a loud "Who is that?" would make her turn away and run back to the designated tasks.

These days it all was getting even more tiring, it has been a week? Maybe two weeks, that she didn't saw the face of her lovers and that damned face in the reflection.

The truth is... she lost track of time. She failed.

People died. Her people died, all because of a mistake. Her mistake.

She couldn't look into yours or Renatas eyes without feeling like she disappointed the both of you. What would Renata think? That she was weak, not worth of anything that they gave each other? What would you think? That she couldn't protect anyone, that she was a liar and didn't kept the promises of protecting everyone?

Her mechanical fingers twitched when she recognized the mat on the floor and her feet moved away from it when she saw that she was dirting it up with her boots. Renata would be angry.

If Sevika leaved now Reanata wouldn't even know she was the one who made all that mess, probably it was for the best if she just turned around and pretend to not even know any of you. A big hiss from the other side of the door stopped her.

"Shoooo, take your hands off, you already ate your part Renata. This one's are for Sev, it's her favorites, can you get the bowl please?"

"She's gonna like it, it has a really nice smell"

The sound of your voices and a cabinet closing harshly made her hyper aware of her own surroundings, she was in front of your house, with a good part of her body covered in old bandages and the smell... She took a deep breath and a small smiled appeared on her face, she could never mistake the smell of her favorite food, specially when it you used the spices that Renata brought from the Upper City.

"Ren, do you... do you think she's coming back home soon?"

She could only imagine your muscles tensing up, it was what you always did before asking something sensitive. And it was Renata's turn to tense up, the sadness was palpable just from her voice and the big exhale she let go before speaking.

"You're worried darling?... With all the problems I heard, lets just hope for the best, come here"

After some long pause, sniffles and what it sounded like you both letting go of each other, Sevika took the courage to face whatever destiny has planned, even tho you just cried, she was ready for the worst reactions when she turned the knob.

The woman didn't even had in her to look up at your face, she just wanted to slowly get in, hear all of you both scold before you asking her to leave, but the surprise noise you and Renata made startled her.

"VIKA! HI!"

Suddenly your body was colliding on hers, which made her stumble a little before evolving you in her arms.

"Hello doll"

She said while a smile was reappearing on her face and she looked at Renata who was slowly walking in their direction.

"We thought you wouldn't come home today"

Renata's human arm slowly and affectionately passed through Sevika's face like she was remembering a long lost homesick memory. She leaned in kissing Sevika's check.

"Welcome home love"

All of Sevika's worries disappeared on that moment, she knew who she was and that she was finally at home

#renata x sevika x reader #arcane x you #arcane sevika x reader #sevika x reader #arcane x reader #renata glasc x reader #renata x reader #sevika imagine #sevika x you #renata glasc x you #renata glasc x sevika x reader #renata glasc imagine #sevika x reader x renata glasc #reader x sevika x renata glasc #renata glasc x reader x sevika #too many tags #help me

67 notes · View notes

beauvibaby · 4 years

Text

soup - a.matthews

request: maybe for auston, like maybe when his team loses against the blue jackets and he comes home rly upset and frustrated and the reader tries their best to help him and calm him down by getting him his favorite things, like snacks, ice cream, and movies for them to watch and letting him be the little spoon???

a/n: idk why but this request made me so excited and I instantly had a vision for it! Set in current events bc it just was the only way to make sense of her not being with him

You adjusted the mask on your face as you walked into the grocery store, grumbling to yourself about how hard it has been to find the proper ingredients for the soup. Over the two years you’ve been together you’ve slowly mastered his moms chicken tortilla soup recipe and it’s rare that you make it, but every time you do he nearly melts, every time he thinks he can’t love you anymore, you do something to prove him other wise. You were practically speed walking to the seasoning aisle, sighing in relief when you saw the last bottle of chili powder, tossing it into the cart and letting out another breath you hadn’t realized you were holding in. You wondered around a little bit, picking up a couple of things here and there, grabbing a couple of you and Auston’s favorite candies, you knew he was going to be devastated about the loss, so you decided to go out now, while he was traveling home, that way you’d be prepared for any mood he had.

You were loading the few bags of groceries into the trunk when your phone rang, you answered the FaceTime call from your boyfriend with a smile. “Hi, babe.” You grinned, before seeing the background he was in, “you’re home already?” You gasped, and he nodded with a forced lopsided smile, “where are you?” He asked, trying to look at least a little excited, but you knew the fact that he got home early and you weren’t there to greet him didn’t help. “I was grocery shopping, but I’ll be home soon, like ten minutes.” You assured him, getting a little giddy at the thought of seeing him after weeks of being apart. “Alright, drive safe, it looks like it’s gonna rain.” He mumbled, moving around the living room. “I will, love you.” You smiled at him, finally a genuine smile on his face as he whispered and I love you too. It was a quick drive from the store but it felt like an eternity as you just wanted to see him, and hug him, and kiss him.

You shut the door a little louder than usual, hoping Auston would be listening out for you, but when you moved to the trunk, grabbing the bags and he didn’t come out, you knew he had himself so absorbed in something that he didn’t even hear you. Somehow you managed to twist the knob on the front door, skillfully carrying the bags in your arms, kicking the door shut after you. “Auston!” You called out, hearing the tv on in the living room, you heard him moving around slowly and so you continued the trek to the kitchen, wanting to set the bags down as they began to hurt your arms. Thankfully nothing you bought had to be refrigerated, the chicken for the soup already in the fridge so you made your way towards the sounds of the living room. “Auston.” You spoke again, seeing him sat out on the couch watching the highlight reel of the game they just lost, as if he’d be able to change the outcome. “Baby.” You said again, finally getting him to hear you and he stood up in an instant, not expecting you to be right there, you stared at each other for a minute before you walked over to him, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a deep kiss, he didn’t hesitate to oblige as his arms went around your waist, holding you close to him. “I missed you so much.” You sighed once you finally pulled apart, he nodded against you, “I missed you too.” He responded, smiling softly.

“Aus, you know you shouldn’t be watching this.” You chastised him softly, reaching for the remote on the couch and turning it off. He groaned, removing his hands from you, “I know, but damn it! We could’ve done so much better, I could’ve done so much better.” He snapped a little, and you patiently waited for him to look at you. When he met your eyes, you pouted at the pained look in his own. “It’s a team sport, and you all did great, baby. I promise, it just wasn’t the right timing, you’re gonna get there one day, I know it.” You assured him, holding your arms out for him and he practically melted into them. You toyed with his growing out hair, “I got all of your favorites.” You mumbled after a short silence, “the soup too?” He asked, making you laugh under your breath. He sounded so innocent the way he asked, so childlike and quite frankly, it was adorable. “Yeah, I’ll make the soup too.” You told him with a smile, he kissed the skin poking out of the top of your shirt, his lips lingering for a moment before he stood back to his full height. “Why don’t you go get cleaned up while I start cooking?” You offered, knowing he had a long day and most definitely could use a hot shower to de stress. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to cook.” He mumbled, you shook your head. “I know I don’t have too, I want to do it for you, silly.” You teased lightly, gently pushing him towards the bathroom. “Alright, alright.” He put his arms up in defense, stopping to look back at you when he heard you going towards the kitchen. He smiled, wondering how he ever got through anything without you.

You were in your own little bubble, shredding the chicken with two forks, lightly bouncing around to the song you had stuck in your head, Auston laughing from the doorway to the kitchen made you jump. Nearly dropping the chicken on the floor. “You scared me!” You whined with a small laugh, hearing him walk towards you as you slid the now shredded chicken into the pot, stirring it together with everything else. “M’sorry.” He teased, resting his chin on your head as he stood behind you, lazily wrapping his arms around your shoulders. “You feel a little better?” You asked, turning in his hold, biting your lip as you looked up at him, he shrugged, pushing some loose hair from your face, leaving his hand on your cheek for a moment, you leaned into his touch, kissing the palm of his hand before resting your cheek back in it. He smiled at the action, “you don’t have to be instantly okay, I know you’re angry and upset, Auston, but I can’t help if you don’t want me too.” You explained to him softly, seeing the slightly distant look in his eyes. “You are helping, baby.” He sighed, releasing his grip on you to walk over to the fridge, grabbing a beer from it. He grabbed two bowls from the cabinet as you turned off the stove top. “Thank you.” You mumbled, taking the glass from him, he laughed at your politeness, as if you hadn’t been together for two years. As if he didn’t grab the dishes every night. You scooped soup into each dish and brought it to the table, going to sit beside him but he grabbed you by the waist pulling you to sit on his lap, you smiled at the action, leaning into his hold. “Not such a tough guy anymore, huh?” You retorted, he shook his head, taking a spoonful of the soup. You did the same, sighing in content as you finally got to sit down and eat with him for the first time in weeks.

The rest of the night consisted of munching on junk food and watching a couple of your favorite movies, now as you were climbing into bed, you smiled at the sleepy look on his face. You laid on your back, opening your arms and gently pulling him over, nearly every time you guys cuddled, you were the one on him, but tonight you just wanted to hold him close and silently tell him how much you loved him. He rested his head on your chest, nearly nestled into your neck, his arm draped across your torso as you started playing with his hair again. You could feel him starting to settle down, his breathing falling into an even pace. “Thank you, baby.” He whispered, nudging his head further into you, gently squeezing your side, “of course, bub.” You replied, glancing down at the boy who was nearly asleep, “I love you.” You added, carefully moving to kiss his forehead, you felt him smile against you, he mumbled an incoherent response, but you were certain he was repeating the words as he drifted off into his first peaceful sleep in weeks.

#imagine #imagines #requested #auston matthews fluff #auston matthews imagines #auston matthews #nhl writing #toronto maple leafs imagine #toronto maple leafs #auston matthews imagine

148 notes · View notes

aragima · 4 years

Text

hannibal questions! 🍖🔪

@nietzscheantrout @horrorlesbians and @hanniba1 wanted me to answer these hannibal questions and i wrote too much but oh well! thanks to all 3 of you ilu!!!

favorite episode and why: oh we’re just goin straight to the hard questions huh um OKAY so i think i can only do an ep a season - s1: SORBET SUPREMACY! you get to see the exact moment will looks at hannibal and thinks “.........shit. it’s him isn’t it. he’s The One. SHIT.” and that is so important to me - s2: this one is really hard maybe naka-choko? it’s so fucking gay and sexy. but tome-wan... but mizumono............ yeah idk - s3: torn between digestivo and the wrath of the lamb cuz they both hurt SOOO good much; i love will breaking up with hannibal and hannibal manipulating the situation so will can’t leave asldkjansk it’s so toxic we have to stan..... and for twotl i mean do i really have to give a reason every scene LIVES in my mind and it contains my favorite shot in the whole show:

that is LOVE baby! that is DESIRE! that is being ENTHRALLED!!!!

least favorite episode and why: i feel like they’re all so necessary that it’s kind of impossible to say but probably antipasto. i get sick of hannibal and bedelia’s shenanigans really quickly and as much as i hate to admit it... i miss will. i also think it was an extremely weak season opener and i blame it for getting the show canceled sjshshsgsg the resentment...

favorite side character: chiyoh or jimmy or actually wait— RANDALL TIER 🖤

if you could bring back one character who died, who would it be?: RANDALL FUCKING TIER. i want there to be a weird thing with him and hannibal and will going on. but also i love what his death did for will so idfk, other than him it’s gotta be beverly

dish prepared in the show that you would like to try eating/making: i was supposed to make hannibal’s osso bucco recipe like 3 weeks ago but it completely slipped my mind so i guess i’ll get on that my next grocery trip

which side character would you kill off?: chilton just because for god’s sake just let the man DIE ALREADY poor guy <- i’m taking ava’s answer because YEAH

was there any scene that you didn’t like to look at?: nah. the skin ripping scenes at the beginning of either kaiseki or sakizuki (idk i don’t remember, i hardly watch s2a) are particularly brutal but i tough it out

biggest ship: i mean do i even have to say

why did you start watching hannibal?: my wife, who was my girlfriend at the time, and her dad were watching it as it was airing and i was like “oh cool hannibal lecter origin story” but due to inconsistent access to the episodes i would just watch it randomly and that is... not the way to watch hannibal. i gave up around the end of s2 but knew hannigram was It regardless. i decided to watch s3 for the first time earlier this year just to have finished it and was like HOLD UP and did an immediate rewatch that left me... well, how i am now

favorite hannibal fic if you’ve read any?:

oh boy. yall ready for this? all of these can be found on ao3 obviously (i’m so sorry this is so long but i guess i’ve been asked to put together a fic rec anyway)

as soft, as wide as air by blackknightsatellite, the ladders series by emungere, blackbird by emungere, consenting to dream series by emungere, taken for rubies by emungere, at first meeting by emungere, protect me from what i want by @alienfuckeronmain, god of the cold, cold wars by highermagic, the abyss smiled back by highermagic, pomegranate seeds by highermagic, absolute zero by highermagic, in the truly gruesome do we trust by sidnihoudini, TKO by sidnihoudini, oh dear by lunarwench, each according to its kind by chapparral_crown, a flood in our hearts by nanoochka, let me sinful be by darlingred, uncomplicated by stratumgermanitivum & youaremydesign, good bones by @damnslippyplanet, like they do in babylon by @damnslippyplanet, your obedient servant by kareliasweet, past our satellites by shotgunsinlace, only the tender meat by isagel, the shape of me will always be you by missdisoriental, a white-walled room by rodabonor, spleen et idéal by rodabonor, the paper doll series by rodabonor, a common point of interest by rodabonor [i do NOT like a/b/o stuff but if i did... it’s this fic], just thought you should know by earthsickwithoutyou, the sacrificial lamb by princesskay, transcendent suffering by itsbeautiful, not something polite by moistdrippings, leave your message after the tone by onewhositswithturtles, holes in the floor of the mind by feverdreamblood, crossing caina by feverdreamblood, the archipelago series by melusine10, but seas between us braid hae roar’d by kareliasweet

have you watched any of the hannibal films?: yeah all of them except manhunter! i grew up watching silence of the lambs because my mom loved it and i went thru a big edward norton phase as a teen so i’ve seen red dragon like 10 times

have you read the thomas harris books?: no and i’m not going to lmao #fakefan

favorite murder tableau: if we’re talking just hannibal’s- the judge. if we’re talking Murder Bad But Kinda Pretty like in general probably the mushroom people or the totem

favorite blood spill: will imagining hannibal while he beats randall to death or The Gutting of Will Graham

what’re some of your headcanons?: - will is good at shibari (backed up in canon: his fishing knots, the firefly man’s full body hishi karada harness) - hannibal rarely listens to modern, non-classical music but he’s a björk fan and he saw one of her chapel performances during the vespertine era and was Moved - will listens to classic rock (zeppelin, the doors, pink floyd) with some classic country (patsy, merle, johnny) and blues (billie, muddy, bessie) thrown in. he’s also a sucker for early/mid-90s college rock/alternative/grunge - will plays the piano (because of the piano in his living room) and the harmonica (because he’s country white trash); he’s kind of shit tho - hannibal fell for will somewhere between “my thoughts are often not tasty” and “you won’t like me when i’m psychoanalyzed” (love at first sight! at last sight! at ever and ever sight!!!) - will’s circumcised, hannibal isn’t 🤪 - hannibal’s a gemini!!!! adaptable, creative, intelligent, outgoing, impulsive, etc - will’s an aquarius!!!!! analytical, a loner, temperamental, unique, compassionate, etc - will’s mom was jewish go read my fic about it https://archiveofourown.org/works/26774326 - hannibal is an agender man (tbh i think of this as canon, it’s just unstated/undefined) - hannibal can speak russian, spanish, and a teensy bit of portuguese in addition to the other languages we know he speaks (lithuanian, english, french, italian, japanese) - will speaks limited amounts of french; he learned it as a kid in louisiana - ED TW will sometimes has a Difficult relationship with food due to food instability by the way of poverty as a kid and goes through periods where it’s hard to keep himself fed, but hannibal is so good for him in that way because he keeps him from going hungry 😓 (yes this is me projecting but also it makes SENSE) - hannibal typically bottoms but THEY DEFINITELY ARE BOTH VERS and will never stops being surprised by how much he loves catching a dick. every time is like religious experience. okay? okay - they’re also both very kinky and switches but tbh.... will was made to Dom hannibal like that’s the reason he exists he could drag that old bitch around by a leash and hannibal would be in heaven HANNIBAL WOULD CALL HIM SIR - the first time they have sex hannibal comes like immediately but he isn’t embarrassed because he’s hannibal fucking lecter and hannibal lecter doesn’t get embarrassed - i have a hc for their favorite sex positions but i’m not gonna put that here because i don’t want yall calling me crazy any more than you probably already do but if you wanna know just DM me all i do is think about them fucking it’s a curse - okay no more dirty stuff abigail called hannibal “dad” on more than one occasion and it was half-joking but it also felt comfortable to her; she never thought to call will “dad” because he’s a weirdo and never knew her as much as he knew his idea of her - hannibal taught her to play piano at the cliff house - beverly is pansexual!!! - brian and jimmy kissed one time when they were drunk and they NEVER talk about it EVER - chiyoh is straight probably. i know, i know, everyone says she’s a lesbian and if she’s a lesbian to you that’s awesome! she’s a lesbian! but idk i just think she’s SO fucking straight and tbh i mourn bc that’s my wife. she could MAYBE be bicurious... - chiyoh is non-monogamous and doesn’t do serious relationships, she doesn’t like the idea of being tied to one person ever since she left the lecter castle - she helped hannibal and will escape after The Fall; she told hannibal she would continue to watch over him and i think she did, she got them a boat and got them the fuck out of there - MOLLY IS DOING SO MUCH BETTER WITHOUT WILL. SHE’S SO GLAD SHE GOT OUT OF THAT WHEN SHE DID. she has a good, long talk with alana and finds out all the shit about him and hannibal that will never told her (and it was a lot), gets drunk and burns all his shit, and then washes her hands of the whole thing; moves to a different state, gets a girlfriend, and never thinks about will again

okay i’m capping it there or i’m never gonna stop!! i’m not tagging anyone cuz i think everyone has done this by now lmao but if you’re a mutual who hasn’t and you want to just do it and say i tagged you!! mwah!!!!

#blood #long post #hannigram fic rec #hc

44 notes · View notes

ryncorrect · 4 years

Text

university!au: day6 sungjin

i’ve abandoned this au for so long istg my life is a mess yall please forgive but anyway im back with my bullshit and ready to spread my cringe-worthy stuff to the world again

name: park sungjin

major: practical music and arts

other activities: leader, guitarist, and vocalist of university band, president of music club, member of cooking club

park sungjin is the embodiment of leadership

i mean he’s the band leader, the club president, also the president of his class since year one, like he’s so trustworthy and responsible, literally nothing can go wrong under his sight

and even when things do go wrong (life is a bitch) he’ll still make sure everyone is fine and having the time of their lives pun intended

anyone who meets sungjin for the first time will probs say he has this tough man aura, cold,,, tsundere-ish idk

but as someone who have known each other for so long, you never understand when anyone says sungjin looks cold

you know damn well the moment sungjin opens his mouth he gonna throw dad jokes with his satoori dialect

dad jokes are fucking funny fight me

you once said sungjin should start his own comedy club

......he’s currently considering it

oh right he also talks about food all. the. time.

he joined cooking club for a reason okay

no, he can’t and doesn’t really cook he’s only there to taste food and people let him there because he’s nice and he knows how to appreciate the cooks

uh we love a man with manners

so, who is sungjin for you exactly?

he lives next door, one year older than you, was a leader even when you were little ayeee childhood friend cliche

can you imagine little sungjin leading his friends in game its so pure brb crying

you told him everything you couldn’t tell ur parents because they were busy, you asked for his advises, he made sure you were safe and happy

you still depend on him even after you two have grown up

you enrolled to the same university, took the same major with him, and even joined the clubs he’s a member of

this isn’t because you’re indecisive, it’s just that you spent so much of your childhood with sungjin that you two became similar to each other, up to your hobbies and interests and even palate lmao

that’s why he loves to eat with you because you two never argue about the menu

the only club you can’t join is the band, and that’s because jae rejected your application

reason: extremely close personal relationship with sungjin, therefore sungjin will take your side if we ever had an argument

you denied that; no, sungjin wont take anyone’s side based on feelings bc he’s a logical person and he always listens carefully to every side of the parties before he makes a decision..... but jae wont listen

brat

"you only rejected me because im a better guitarist”

“lalalalala cant hear you over my authority as the important band member”

“fuck you”

“i don’t accept offers”

anywayssss you did fail to join the band, but you’re friends with them, theyre literally so used to your company that sometimes they forgot youre not actually in the band

you and the guys teamed up for sungjin’s surprise birthday party

the surprise failed because dowoon accidentally added sungjin to the group chat

sungjin being nice and playing along anyway because he didnt want to disappoint you

and then its sungjin’s turn to ask the guys for help for your birthday party

failed again because dowoon AGAIN accidentally invited you, in person, to your own birthday party

dowoon what the heck?????

yeah its all cute and sweet but thats all of your relationship with sungjin, you treat him like a dependable brother and he treats you like his own little sister

thats what you tell to your friends too when they ask if you two are dating

they’re glad thats the case

because they have a crush on sungjin LMAOOOOO PLOT TWIST

they’re hoping they can get to sungjin through you yanno like asking you to send him snacks and letters or to tell him they say hi

you dont mind i mean you know sungjin is one admirable person ofc everyone likes him

sungjin never rejects nor accepts it hes just like “yay snacks!”

“god damn it sungjin just date any of them im tired of being a matchmaker”

“then dont?? literally no one asked you to”

little did you know that sungjin had the same problem

some of his classmates are interested in you but whenever they come to him he just says, “dont ask me i dont know anything and if i do i wont tell you”

this one sandeul guy has started asking you out and stuff

“ehhh youre so nice i’ll think about it!!”

you, immediately texting sungjin: ur friend sandeul ask me out what should i do

sungjin: do you like him tho

you: not really idk him yet

sungjin: just tell him your mom said no

you: damn nice

but this guy is so persistent and you gotta admit hes kinda cute and after a few tries you finally said yes to him

so you two went together and it was pretty fun

sungjin isnt too happy when he hears about it from sandeul

he asked you, “why didnt you tell me first?”

“well i dont think its a big deal. it was just a date anyway”

but you always told him everything

sungjin never speaks about it again

you go on another date with sandeul the week after

you tell sungjin later and he doesnt ask how it went

hes just “oh”

idk he’s kinda distant now, he rarely talks nor replies to your texts

he doesn't visit music club nor cooking club either so you don't see him often

have i told you im uncreative and all my aus are lame???

you think its probably because hes focusing for the finals, but even after it’s over sungjin doesnt really hang out with you or the band anymore like he only comes for practices and leaves right after

weirdly no one says anything about sungjin’s absence

but you cant stay quiet any longer and decide to ask dowoon whats wrong with sungjin

you shouldve known dowoon cant help much

“honestly i dont know either, maybe you should ask wonpil he’s sungjin’s roommate”

“but what if wonpil told sungjin”

“told sungjin what?”

“that i asked about him”

“asked him what?”

“...nevermind”

you asked younghyun

younghyun doesnt help either

“i dont know, just ask him yourself. i thought you were the closest to him??” why you so salty man

okay fine lets ask jae

“i’ll tell you for fifty bucks”

“dude im broke”

“then deal with it yourself”

you had no choice but to ask wonpil

“he’s just tired”

you know wonpil lied but this little shit refuses to tell anything

“please dont force me to answer i will cry really loudly and it’ll be embarrassing for the both of us”

why do you befriend them in the first place smh

oh youre right about wonpil telling sungjin that youre worried, and he does tell him to talk to you if he got something in mind

sungjins hesitant but in the end he only says, “no... its just that i didnt realize until recently that my little sister has grown up a lot”

“dear god wtf you sound like her grandma”

skip the boring part so uh a few more days passed awkwardly between you two and after your failed attempt at asking around you decide to confront sungjin in person

youre in the band practice room, the others are present, sungjin’s about to leave early as usual, and you find yourself jumping up your seat, “whats your problem with me?”

you know sungjin hates confrontation but you cant stand it anymore. you tried giving him time but if theres anything you seem to be more of a stranger to him

“i dont know what i did wrong and i wont know if you dont tell me, so let me know. i’ll listen and i’ll apologize if its my fault, but dont give me silent treatment like this. its so unlikely of you"

you can see sungjin clences his jaw as he replies calmly, "people change"

"you don't change, youre being childish. if you're mad you should talk about it. if you don't want me here you should tell me to go. if you don't like ME dating your friend you should tell me not to!!!"

drama much ryn

"youre your own person and you make your own choice, its your life and i cant keep telling you what to do or what not," and the end part kinda slips, "i don't hate you dating my friend or anyone, okay? im just not used yet to be a second person for you and im afraid youll get hurt"

"youre never?? a second person sungjin where does this idea even come from youre the only one for me i dont want anyone else???"

and suddenly there's a train of awkward coughs and you come back to your senses and you realize you're being watched

jae pretends to make a phone call, "mom pick me up im scared"

lame jae lame

dowoon mumbles, "can we,,, make an exit first before you two declare your undying love bc its privacy yanno"

you feel the heat spreading across your face as you open your mouth the same time as sungjin, both want to deny dowoon, but younghyun beats yall to it, "yeah you two are in love with each other we been know"

you and sungjin stares at each other, confused, "we don't???"

"oh honey,,, my dear,,, ive read enough sappy shit in writing club to see where this is going"

the conversation was cut there and neither of you bring it up again,

because the idea of you loving sungjin or sungjin loving you is so weird that you refuse to think about it, and so is for sungjin

but ever since that, sungjin has drastically come back to normal its almost hilarious, he spends a lot of time hanging out in the music club, practicing with the band, visiting the cooking club, making a joke here and there

sungjin is himself again with you, a caring dependable brother whom you come to whenever you need to talk or just hang out with and he always makes sure he has time for you

sap

you know hes always been like that but why does it feel different now??? the way he smiles or pulls your hand so youre walking on the inner side of the road,,, how he neatly places your spoon and chopsticks on a napkin when you two go out to eat together,,,, why

tender love baby chICKEN TENDER

mydayexol follow me

andddd so one day, someone asked you out. again.

wow ur so popular i cant Relate

you, texting sungjin: sandeuls friend jinyoung something invited me to a party next saturday should i come

sungjin, replying to you: hmm

you: ???

sungjin: i think its up to you

for some reason youre disappointed by his reply,,, but he’s right tho its your call if you wanna go then you go its not about what sungjin says

right?

right???

but suddenly you got another text: but if you ask for my opinion i would say don't go

you: actually i dont want to either lol so what should i say

sungjin: tell him you already have a date

you: nice

sungjin: with me

you: ayyeee

you: wait what

sungjin: i mean its just a suggestion

sungjin: which you can accept

sungin: or reject

for some reason you can imagine sungjin’s cheeky smile through his texts and it makes your inside tingles and you wanna giggle

so yea you thought it was a joke but he actually did take you out for a movie and dinner

it was really nice

so yanno the weird thing is that neither of you ask the other to be “official” but you just. are dating.

ur friends are mad like “bUT YOU SAID YOU TWO WERENT A THING”

“lol sry i changed my mind”

“fuck you”

“no thanks sungjin can do that... bUT DONT TELL SUNGJIN I SAID THAT hes gonna kill me”

“is he ur mom”

“basically yeah”

this sucks real bad but who cares

not me obviously

ill be back soon (or not) with dowoon’s one lets hope i can do better than this dnsjfsndfj lnjajnfdjs lmAO I LOVE YALL AND HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE

#day6 #sungjin #park sungjin #day6 imagines #day6 scenarios #day6 fanfic #day6 reactions #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #im sorry sungjin #ive put this on hold for too long i already forgot what i wanted to write in the first place #bye

66 notes · View notes

thethirdwheel404 · 4 years

Text

Med Series Rewatch (#12)

S3 E12: Born This Way.

Episode description: Dr. Manning and Dr. Choi are faced with a tough decision.

Literally when are they not.

Okay, last episode ended with the first Ava/Connor kiss, so this episode should be a rollercoaster of emotions.

let’s get into it.

- okay, already we’re starting in connor’s apartment, so cue ava walking in bc they slept together?

- i think its hilarious that her casual clothing is.. a flannel. like lmao idk

- it is so unbelievably funny and stupid to have a one night stand with someone you work closely with. i mean come on

- never forget that dr. ava bekker has a fish tank

- this is exhausting. the tentative back and forth is so fucking exhausting

- another bit of evidence. ava is never not confident, and especially not to this extent, and she never follows connor’s lead. so, the fact that she is standing back and waiting for him to make the decision? stupid.

- it screams that she is having a moment of anxiety, which is why she isn’t up to make the decisions in the exchange.

-to be clear: what i’m claiming here is that the only reason ava actually got with connor was bc she was having a moment of anxiety because he was the only person she had built a relationship with after living in this city for six months.

- when connor says that he has plans you can see her fold in on herself. this stems from a place of anxiety

- remember when they did surgery on the panda? that’s when the show peaked

- ava in her lab coat will never not get me. especially with the gloves, running towards a patient (very hot)

- connor still looks kinda looks like a mess but ava is immaculate here like what dude out of your league

- ava asking the family questions (ik this is standard doctor stuff but showing worry, interest, all that jazz)

- okay, see here! here! ava calls connor out, saying that his procedure is too invasive. before, ava’s procedures where invasive, which everyone used as evidence to her being super cold, but now, we see that she purely does what she deems best for the patient at hand

- also, once again, the concern ava feels. you can hear it in her voice. we forget this part of her way too often

- the smile on ava’s face when she gives the family good news. god wept

- and then more concern when connor tells her they need to put him on ecmo

- the reason that ava is frustrated that connor didn’t go with her decision for their patient care is because she truly believes that if they don’t go with her treatment, he will die. don’t make it anything different. don’t argue she’s frustrated because he’s not listening to her. don’t make it anything about their relationship. she puts their patients care first and foremost

- there’s a stark shift in her demeanor when in the room with the parents vs. her alone with connor. in the room, you can see she’s stewing. she’s sucking on her teeth, she’s holding her emotions. she has control, she’s a professional. out of the room, she has full reign to be as mad with connor as she wants, which she does.

-AVA RAN INTO THE ROOM AGAIN WITH THE LAB COAT AND GLOVES AND IDK IT JUST HAS ME FEELING SOME KINDA WAY

- the way ava acknowledges everyone in the room (the nurse just informed them that the drug was running, ava nodded. just a little thing but yk)

- ava shaking her head at this sad, sad man (connor, who is floundering for a solution and misplacing his anger)

- their entire relationship is misplaced anger

- the fact that the last shot of the scene has connor in the foreground looking over the bed and ava watching from the door but ava is the one in focus - some cool cinematography points

- IS THIS THE EPISODE WHERE MAGGIE GOES TO JAIL

- med really went all over the place

- JUST THE AMOUNT OF CONCERN ON AVA’S FACE. im gonna say it again. look me in the eyes and tell this women is a psychopath. the med writers are fucking insane

- and when the parents ask ava if she disagreed with connor’s treatment decision, she has every opportunity (and right, frankly) to throw him under the bus and undermine him. but still, she says “it’s a complicated situation.” like. she never ever makes it personal, or loses her head. especially not to a patient. and she doesn’t have to defend connor. he’s made a lot of mistakes, and taken it out on her a bunch of times. yet she’s still nice to him, when he’s not even in the room

- it’s insane

- this is also the legendary scene where she comforts the family. there’s not a lot that i haven’t already said. this is the scene that most exemplifies ava’s humanity, the way she seems to feel, at least residually, what these parents are going through (since she obviously hasn’t gone through anything like this herself [unless.]). the way she kneels down, and gets on the family’s personal level.

- I... okay listen. I absolutely HATE the parallel they pull her between the line “I believe whenever you do something out of love, it can never really be wrong” and connor. especially because they show him when she says that line. and yeah, there’s obviously a connection that can be drawn between the meaning of that line and her sociopathic behavior in s4 and s5.

- it honestly feels like when writing s4, the writers hit so much of a wall they just googled the most ‘iconic’ ava moments and thought ‘how can i use these in the worst way possible?’ That’s honestly probably what they did (ava’s first interaction with connor - ‘you better watch yourself,’ this moment). There is no nuance to her character in s4. it is astoundingly terrible.

- lets move on

- THE WAY CONNOR LOOKS AT AVA HER MAKES ME FUCKING SCARED. HE HAS NO EMOTION ON HIS FACE. I know that we’ve been screen capping ava throughout this series but can someone find pictures of connor looking at ava bc, i need yall to remember how weird he looks

- like, no shade to connor, but just the emotion is undecipherable, but it is in no way a good one

- ava getting concerned (and looking slightly embarrassed) when she sees connor watching her by the door. obviously yeah she’s gonna feel weird you just caught her in a very uncharacteristic moment, outwardly expressing comfort. fucking back off

- i am so fucking protective of her and i demand he no longer look at her. it’s banned

- sam abrams looking at sarah’s dad’s head ct and asking if he’s a criminal. oh boy

- from a writer’s perspective, the storyline with sarah’s dad is actually pretty good

- ava ran into the room with gloves and lab coat again, if anybody wanted to know

- for the record, want it to be noted, ava was the one who realized that it was an issue with the machine again, so you could say she fixed connor’s mistake, again. so.

- connor making a big deal about handing the reins over to ava (if he really was selfless he wouldn’t have made a whole big thing, he still has an enormous hero complex)

- handing off control was very hard for him. boo hoo get some fucking humility I think they sell it at walgreens

- sarah fucking walking across the ed like she’s going to war. dramatic

- med really said pedophiles deserve rights with this ep huh

- anyway

- the way ava smiles

- the way she smiles when she turns him down. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT? SHE TURNED HIM DOWN. in the aspect of the story i cannot remember why she turned him down, but hey, i’m happy

- and it only further proves my story that the hook up came from a place of anxiety, and this is her realizing how silly that decision was. and her smiling was her laughing at herself for making such a stupid decision

- ALSO. LET’S TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT THIS DECISION, THE DECISION TO TURN HIM DOWN, HAPPENED IN THE SAME EPISODE WHERE SHE SAID ‘IF YOU DO SOMETHING FOR LOVE, IT’S NEVER REALLY WRONG’

- like she literally says ‘last night was a mistake.’

- honestly, it’s fucking hilarious. connor deserves nothing

- and the confusion on his face when she walks away. hilarious

- if you wanted to take this the reesker route you could argue that the idea of ‘a decision of love’ was ava coming to terms with her slight little crush, though i don’t know how clean it would be if you argue that she panicked and told herself those were feelings meant for connor. idk, i’ll have to think about it further

- watching sarah let herself be betrayed by both herself and the people around in the story surrounding her dad will never not be hard to watch

This was a very good episode, character wise, for all the reasons stated above. It just hammers home the point of how strong a character Ava was. Key word, of course, being ‘was’. My conclusion over the last two episodes is that this specific sexual encounter with Connor was born out of a moment of anxiety from Ava. I suggest that over that last few weeks or days she has been experiencing some amount of anxiety out of having been living in Chicago for six months and only having one interpersonal relationship. So, that idea kind of built where she told herself the reason she only had one relationship was because she was in love with him. Then. after going through the story with this kid and comforting his parents, she realizes that she never actually loved Connor and maybe has a thing for someone else. I’m glad that I keep coming up with more ideas for this character, I was afraid the initial theory was somewhat of a one-off, but this only proves the idea of the complexity to Ava’s character.

I’m sure it’ll get worse from here, though.

as always, thanks for sticking through

read the rest here:

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Extra

#chicago med #med rewatch series #ava bekker #mine #born this way

1 note · View note

bpdanakins · 4 years

Text

I was tagged by @apple-grass-and-smiles to do an otp tag thing and I’m already having a crisis bc I don’t generally have one single true pairing? The struggles of being a multishipper. Here goes.

Rules: Pick 10 of your OTPs from different fandoms without reading the questions and then answer them. Then tag 10 other people to do the same.

Shepard/Liara T’soni (Mass Effect)

Lavellan/Solas (Dragon Age: Inquisition)

Morgana Pendragon/Guinevere (BBC’s Merlin)

Clarke Griffin/Lexa (The 100, and yes don’t @/me I know)

Max Caulfield/Chloe Price (Life is Strange)

Kassandra/Roxana (Assassin’s Creed Odyssey)

Corvo Attano/Jessamine Kaldwin (Dishonored)

Nathan Drake/Elena Fisher (Uncharted)

Dragonborn/Serana/Aela (The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, because I can)

Senua/Happiness

(this took waaaay too long)

Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

Right away? I kinda had Kassandra sleeping her way across Ancient Greece with almost all the ladies (caught on to Diona right away though and I’m forever glad about that), so it was always going to happen. But as for why I see them as more of a relationship... idk. They’re just really sweet, and I enjoyed Roxana’s quests.

Have you ever read a fic about 2?

Yes. A lot of it. Oops.

Has a picture of 4 ever been your screensaver/profile pic/Tumblr?

Nope. I did, however, get an art print as gift once from a friend, with Clarke and a bi flag and Lexa with a rainbow flag. It’s this piece to be exact, though they don’t seem to sell it anymore? The artist does have a ton of other lgbtq+ ship art on their redbubble page (including other Clexa pieces, and they also did some of my fave Finnpoe pieces which I did not know was by the same artist, so there you go) if you’re interested.

If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

I mean.... Corvo is technically a widower.... so we’ve already had the tragedy start within the first ten minutes of the first game.

Why is 1 so important?

Because it was my first Mass Effect ship, because Liara is so cute and bad ass and just!!! The journey they go on? My heart. I love them so much. Also a Shiara fic was the first ship I read on ao3 a long time ago so that’s also a bonus.

Which one has the strongest bond?

Pricefield. While they all have amazing bonds in their own ways, Max literally bent time and space to keep Chloe safe on multiple occasions. She didn’t even recognize Chloe right away, but her first use of her powers was to save her best friend. Chloe would also literally throw down for Max at any point, and she talks about how having Max back in her life for a single week made her feel the happiest she’d been in a long time, and that’s despite all of the shit they went through together. Like!!!!!! Please

How many times have you read/watched 10′s fandom?

I literally still watch the trailers/documentary for Hellblade on a frequent basis. You can guess from there.

Which ship has lasted the longest?

Hmmm. Jess and Corvo were together for about 14 years, and Nate and Elena were together for.... also a long time. idk at what point UC4′s epilogue takes place so I’m just gonna assume they’ve also been together for a long time by then too lmao. idk man

How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

I mean.... whether or not you romance Roxana is up to you, and then there’s that uncomfy mess pulled in the DLCs that I’m not going into bc Kassandra is a lesbian bye.

Point being, idk?

If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive: 2 or 8?

TOUGH QUESTION. Solas has godlike powers so that would give them an obviously undeniable edge, but Nate and Elena have literally already fought zombies, soooo... both.

Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

Yep!! Jessamine was an Empress and Corvo her royal bodyguard. Shouldn’t have entirely bothered hiding it tho considering Emily apparently has 0 issue announcing to the world she’s Corvo’s daughter by the first scene of DH2 lmaaoo.

Is 4 still together?

We don’t talk about this. It’s too depressing.

Is 10 canon?

Relatively. By the end of the game, she has come into acceptance of her pain & grief, but like.... she’s not insta cured or something. And then in Hellblade 2 it seems like she’s ready to fuck everyone up so.... no, it’s not canon enough :(

If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

I’ll have to agree that it’d depend. If things like magic, biotics, the Thu’um or Max’s powers, etc, are included uhhh... well, that makes it super tough. Again, Solas has godlike magic at his hands and can turn everyone to stone without trying now apparently, but Max can literally rewind time, the DB has their own form of godlike powers (Tiber legit remade the geography of an entire province, and that’s just his accomplishments), Kassandra is a demigod, Morgana one of the most powerful sorceresses ever, Serana’s a powerful vampire, Aela a dang werewolf, and Liara one of the strongest biotics. Senua also has Gramr.

Take all of that away though and... still kinda tough. Kass, Roxana, Lexa, and Senua are all really strong warriors. Corvo’s an elite assassin, Aela is a good hunter, Shepard a soldier who passed some of the hardest levels of training.... dude, this is too hard. Who tf knows.

Has anyone ever tried to sabotage 5?

Several by killing one or both off, and time itself tried as well.

Do you spend hours a day going through 3′s tumblr tag?

No. I don’t often venture into tags tbh.

If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break forever or else she’d break them all up, which ship would you SINK?

Morgana and Gwen since they’re not even canon and also the show went icky on Morgana in the end anyways.

This was too hard. It was hard to think of/choose 10 ships, it was hard to look up a bunch of info, etc. It also took me too long lmaaoo.

I tag uhhh @mariaromanovs, @twilightofthe, @purplehawke, @serkonans, honestly anyone who wants to? If you want to do it, I tag you!! If you don’t want to and I @’d you, feel free to ignore and forgive me <3

#liz.txt #long post

4 notes · View notes

renjunvinates · 4 years

Text

for anyone that cares about my rage earlier lol.

okay anyways. As you know or didn’t know I have a girl cousin that has been living with me for over a year, and honest to god I hate her soul. Anyways when she came here I was nice and shit but then she started pissing me off because what she was doing was so stupid lol. She lost her mom bcs of cancer and her dad is a well... a dead beat dad and so she came over here as an exchange student and pursue education but all she does is go out and spend money and hangout with her Friends and has barely enough to pay for tuition and it’s like are you serious? She had to ask my other cousin parents for money bc she didn’t have enough but that’s because she was going out all the time.

I told my mom keep her in check and she was like why don’t you tell her and I’m like well I can’t because I’m younger than her and viet norms, the younger one is not allowed to pop off and “disrespect” anyways my mom tells her to stop the spending warns her and tells her “don’t piss emina off,” and everyone in the family was like “you better watch your back and not make emina mad because if you do it’s going to be a big problem” and she was like yeah okay. Past few months later not only is she constantly going out and hanging out with her friends and spending money she never does anything at home. She never cleans and what not, she treats our house at a hotel. And I’m like are you serious and like it drives me insane bcs I have to do everything. Like I get this is my house but still? You live here too, so take credit but she does jack shit. My mom would would always rant about her but would do nothing about it and I sit there in silence cOS if I spoke I just pop off, but it’s like my mom is also defending her saying oh give it rest she lost her mom she was never taught these things and I’m over here like she’s fucking 20 why are you acting like she’s illiterate and never going to be able to learn anything she has more years to learn what’s stopping from learning right now? But also my mom is always like she lost her mom you have to be nice and it’s like listen I have respect for her mom’s death and I get it. ITS TOUGH I KNOW, but like if your mom is dead and your dad is doing nothing shouldn’t that push you to idk maybe go get education and be successful instead of hanging out all the time and being broke??? Like idk??

I don’t talk to her and my mom was straight up calling me mean bcs I don’t talk to her and it’s like yo I’m being super nice right now. Like me being mean is like me talking and yelling to her face and making her cry, and i’m even joking. But anyways that’s the preface.

Last week I had to change my work schedule because of her and this week she said she was working and I told her me too and my mom was like well could you change yours since I changed mine for her last week and she was being a brat and saying no and I was like can you not do me a fucking favor?

Apparently not, so then my mom goes home ranting about her and I’ve held this rage in for over a year, I tell my mom so what do you want me to do about it? She doesn’t do anything here so idk what you want me to say. She goes and says I’ve yelled at her and yet nothing has changed and I’m like of course if hasn’t. She was like what’s that suppose to mean? Why are you acting like I haven’t yelled at her before and I’m like because you haven’t. You literally haven’t. Then she’s like here let me call my brother to yell at her and I’m like so what? He’s gonna yell at her and then so what? He’s across the world and so what is gonna do? She’s gonna stand there take and end the call and learn so what? So fucking what? And my mom says to me, so what am I suppose to do?

I shit you not I’m boiling inside and I yelled at my mom said KICK HER OUT and you know what she says to me. I can’t. I’m like SO WHAT DO YOU WANT? she’s like I can’t kick her out because my brother and I promise my sister we watch over her and I’m like NOT WHEN SHES LIKE THIS I DONT THINK. Then my mom says even if I kick her out she’s gonna leave and I’m like WELL SO FUCKING WHAT LET HER LEAVE SHES WORTH NOTHING ANYWAYS and my mom says I can’t. At this point I’m raging so hard and I’m like mom don’t talk to me about her anymore you know where I stand. I want her out of this house and I don’t give two fucks anymore you can’t use her mom died on me excuse forever. You may be living in the old time of viet structure but we live in America so I don’t give a fuck anymore.

#hjrs.txt #thanks for reading if you care but then again you didn't have to read it #im just filled with anger lol okay thanks

2 notes · View notes

ts-2020-olympics · 4 years

Text

EPISODE 2 - “Landen’s Going Home” - Emma

youtube

Billy's back! If we lose I am screwed heavily, though I do think there's a chance. Slide puzzles aren't my thing, so hoping for the best out of this.

Kathy, I'm voting for you. Bailey had a good excuse for not doing the challenge, and I haven't heard anything from you, whatsoever. Hate to say it, but your ass is grass, pal.

i'm gonna be a lazy bitch and do a written confessional this round bc i look too ugly for a video. so, basically after the events that transpired last round, jordan came begging at my feet for my forgiveness after lying to me about the vote. he doesn't realize that i knew what he was doing before the fact thanks to sammy, so i just played along and acted like i didn't know and told him that i understood his perspective and understand him lying to me. but believe me, a bitch never forgets being lied to. like, if he can so easily lie to me this early in the game, how am i supposed to trust him going forward? i guess it doesn't really matter because he's he easy boot if we happen to lose again before a swap. but i think i did a good job of making him feel like i wasn't mad so that he will trust me in the event of a swap or if we lose again he won't vote me. also, i'm pretty confident that both sammy and caeleb consider me their closest ally. they both tell me about their findings in the village so i'm getting two people per round telling me where not to go, so that's super helpful. i could see the three of us going far but i'm sure that the two of them will go for each other eventually, especially if they are both competing to have me be their number one. i'm fine with it tbh. sammy also got a vote block from the village. so now he has an idol that lasts for two more tribals, and a vote block lasting for one more tribal. so definitely think sammy is of more use to me at the moment especially since he has all of these advantages. my tribe won immunity this round which is nice. i'm glad i can just relax and not worry about a tribal. i hope we can keep winning until a swap bc i think all 3 people left on my tribe could be of use to me. also fuck connor, he told everyone at the arena that me and caeleb have a premade, as if we even knew each other before this game. someone is bitter that he couldn't make relationships and was first boot. so im sure that information is spreading around and i should probably worry about that. but oh well, i'm just gonna focus on winning for now! woo go me.

Alright, so here we are, the first loss of the 2020 Tumblr Olympics. Sure, we may have had the Silver medal bonus for that challenge, but the tribe just isn't suited I guess towards slide puzzles, and plus Bailey was busy so wasn't able to compete like we had hoped. It's all good though, as I always say that life comes before an online game, so nothing but respect. Anyways, I formed a three person alliance with Beck & Ben, basically as far as I am aware, us three are the most active on the tribe, and really only ones that talk much on the tribe, so basically they are the only two I really connected with enough to be able to put my trust in, just hopefully this alliance all works out for now. Then in terms of this vote, I feel it will be Kathy going, as she just doesn't seem all too dedicated towards the game/is a little inactive, and not talking really to anybody, so even though I do like Kathy, just inside this game, at least at this stage of the game, we need tribe strength, and she just isn't going to be putting that through whilst not being as active as others. Anything can happen though, and there is still the arena yet so who knows, the person voted out of this tribe could end up coming back with a gold medal.

i'm pretty sad that my tribe is going to tribal but at the same time i'm confident i won't be leaving, mostly because 2/5 of our tribe members aren't very active. i also have this alliance with ben and darcy now which seems like a strong trio, so even though we lost immunity it could be a LOT worse. unfortunately the downside is that if we're voting out kathy (which is most likely) she's probably too inactive to do the arena challenge, so we're not gonna get any medals in the arena... but that's alright i suppose, we just have to work hard for the next one. if ben can't participate in the next immunity challenge i feel like our tribe is gonna be in a really tough spot. but i'm praying for the best anyway.

Not gonna lie, slide puzzles are awful for immunity challenges, especially if the RNG is manipulated just right. There's a way to solve them correctly every time, but to do it in the minimal number of moves requires that everything go your way in terms of luck. I'll take the L, but I am not happy.

i’m honestly so frustrated that emma didn’t even submit but! she’s such a sweetheart that i felt really awful voting to get her out, but that was just a lil. hm. also apparently i’m close to her now? so that was inch resting to hear. thank u billy

Landons going home

my truth is that i keep forgetting check my skype and i want my teammates to glock me and vote me out

Even with the gold medal I won, we still somehow end up going to tribal. Tell me, HOW THE FUCK DO WE MANAGE TO DO SOMETHING LITERALLY SO ASTRONOMICAL?! It drives me mad how we had such a big advantage...christ. Anyway, a few things I'm thinking about heading into tribal. A) Everyone voted me last time, so I'm playing this one a little more no holds barred. B) I'm thinking about what's the biggest advantage to me whether the person I vote out comes back or fucks off into 24th place. C) I couldn't care less about how we're doing in challenges at the moment. I want people who'll be loyal to me, and in return people that I can put my faith in. Right now, that's Emma and Emma only. However, she didn't participate in the challenge, so it's a little bit of an awkward situation. I know that Landen, can be an extremely good player UTR heading later into the game, and to be honest I feel like he's a bit shady. So, adios to him. I get Emma and Juls vote, and Jacob if he cares enough, easy done. I'm 99% sure tribal will go my way tonight, here's to hoping the odds are in my favour!

I am now apparently a swing vote somehow someway. Landen or Emma goes. I would prefer to vote out neither of them, but hey, I could end up going to. Were you expecting something better? nah. Five player tribes SUCK. Billy and Landen are battling for control of the tribe. I kindof like that battle to continue. Plus I trust Landen, kindof. If Juls is voting Landen, I vote Landen because there's no point. If Juls votes Em, then I vote Em. If Juls doesn't respond before the vote, uh, we'll see. I think she'd be more likely to vote out Landen, but like idk. EIther way, none of these people are me, and I am a number to anyone involved. Mission success? I just need to challenge beast a little bit more.

Ughhh I don't want to be making this confessional right now. Hardly anything has changed since the last time I went to tribal, in terms of my annoyance with the team. We were SO close to winning, we almost had it, and we could've gotten it if Emma had just SUBMITTED. I actually really like her too so it's really frustrating that she does this but I can't justify keeping her when she just.... didn't submit. Not only that but she never apologized, commented on it, or anything. Like that's just plain disrespectful. So I'm wanting to vote her out. Unfortunately I feel like Juls is way too close with her, their bond is dangerous and Juls probably feels like she has to work with Em because they are some of the only girls in the gay-infested ORG community so they just feel a natural connection from that, and they are similar in other ways as well. I definitely feel like those two being as close as they are will be dangerous to me tonight and I know for a fact my name was going around, too. I heard about that from Jacob and it's not surprising at all they would throw my name out. The danger is they could abuse Billy, and they know it. They're definitely trying to get me voted out, and they're definitely trying to use Billy as a number to do it. Which is absolutely ridiculous since they were the first ones to throw his name out and push for it, but oh well. A snake's a snake, and I'm going to try and chop this one's tail off. Notice I said the tail because Emma is literally useless and does absolutely nothing and she's lucky Juls is tryna carry her through this. I'm pressedt. I definitely know I'm in danger and it's like, whatever. If I go in, I'm fine, I can presumably make my way out of the arena and back to the game where I can wreak havoc and be righteously emotional because taking me, the person who got the best score and has been making the most effort to actually talk to people on this deadbeat fucking tribe, out, in Round 2, is kinda just psychotic. I'm absolutely livid and I just... Ugh, it has not been the best week and this game is just starting off so slow and I hate my tribe SO much like it's literally disgusting. I used to hate the One World Twist and I still do as a concept, but thank GOD for it being in this one because I can only tolerate my tribe thanks to being able to talk to people from the other tribes like Jacob, Sammy, Caeleb, etc. I just want this round to be over with and to stop losing for just a few rounds. whew that's all i have to say fuck emma for throwing this

So I survived tribal! That's great! I was really hoping it wasn't going to be like a permanent red mark against my record. I obviously had a plan for if I did go into the arena, and I figured I would survive, but I'm really glad I don't have to have that permanent scratch on my Tumblr Survivor Record now, and hopefully that makes the endgame easier to navigate. You have to consider things like the FTC early in seasons like these because of the one World Twist and the Arena twist. Both totally impact whether the jury will vote for you, and so it's important to be thinking far more ahead than one usually thinks in Survivor. I'm honestly SHOCKED that I survived tribal tonight, I was 100% Juls and Billy were voting for me, but I'm really glad it happened. I think this confirmed my loyalty with Billy, but in tribal I did come off passive aggressive and honestly, they can deal with it. I wanted to be slightly entertaining but still try to sound rational and sane in where I was coming from, hopefully I accomplished like that? Like I was just so frustrated that my name was in genuine consideration, from what *I* had heard. Like... why the fuck? I got the highest score in the challenge, offered to do flag and did chant for the other team, Emma did nothing both times, it was obvious she should've been the vote. And I'm really happy all the tribe came around with that. I'm really happy I can appreciate loyalty from the people I've grown to like on this tribe. I think I can count on Jacob as a number, and as far as Juls and Billy go, I love those two man. They are great people and I love talking to them. The only issue I have with this tribe is everyone is quiet and shaky and on such a small tribe, everyone gives indefinite answers and it makes things fucking awkward and paranoia runs rampant as you saw tonight. I'm just happy to be safe, have numbers, and be out of the damn Arena. That being said, this tribe is still too tiny and with a possibly furious Emma coming back to exact revenge (and I know she has a lovely heart and personality so I'm definitely expecting her to win over an army) I want to swap out of here as fast as possible so I can begin building my own path to a glimmering throne.

He’s not as good at challenges as billy, and I’m close with juls and Jacob so I’m not voting them, and billy is immune And everyone is voting with me in theory except landen Next round I’m hoping we don’t go to tribal lol

This tribe kindof hates each other. Landen and Billy are distrustful of each other. Emma and Landen are also distrustful. Juls and Landen and Emma and Billy are pairs if we want to go that far. I am good with Emma and Landen, Emma slightly less so now, but I did help her out quite a bit. I'm playing both sides pretty well, let's see how far that'll get me, cause I need to be incredibly careful. Juls is also viewed as a greater swing vote, so if both sides-ing does come back to bite us, it should bite Juls before me. Hopefully Emma comes back.

so round two has been a bit better, i think ive repaired all my relationships on my tribe and even managed to stand out in the challenge so maybe they think theyll need me and keep me around. Long story short i think I have longevity for now, but to be completely honest the longer this twist is in the game where once im voted out i just have to beat somoene in a challenge to get back like, im not overly concerned

Just wanted to ask HOW WERE WE ABLE TO WIN IMMUNITY WHEN WE DIDN'T EVEN GET A MEDAL?!?!?!?!?!? *cackling* Also Connor getting voted out is what he gets for saying in the main chat to vote me out. <3 u Connor <3

youtube

#zestypowerfuluniqueflavorfulhealthy #confessionals

1 note · View note

hollowboobtheory · 5 years

Note

Do you have any headcanons that explain the whole Anders Vigil's Keep fiasco? I'm trying to write fanfic but I guarantee if my Warden was still alive and anywhere within range of Vigil's Keep there would be no force powerful enough to stop her from straight up destroying anyone who tried to take Pounce or impose Templars on her super pro free mage warden keep. Where was she? How could this happen? How did they avoid invoking her wrath? I just can't figure out a good explanation.

ok strap in there’s a lot here.

i’m gonna level with you, i’ve never read the short story, and i never plan to. i think i’ve gathered everything i need through osmosis and it sounds, quite frankly, dumb as fuck. not to mention like, if that had happened, i feel like anders would be a lot less in favor of bethany joining the wardens tbqh

so i decided that instead of all that bullshit, anders left because he couldn’t handle being surrounded by death 24/7 because let me tell you my warden (ashirril mahariel) LOVES being a warden. she kinda resented duncan for conscripting her at first because he basically told her there were two ways to go, either she takes the joining and becomes a warden, or the taint will run its course and he’ll have no choice but to do his duty. because she had been fully turned for like a week by the time duncan found her. like gone full darkspawn. totally succumbed to The Calling. but she was able to stop herself from tearing into him and ask for help and he was amazed that she was so far gone and still able to come back and show some lucidity. also i’ve switched her and alistair’s roles because with their dynamic ash should have been the one who was already a gray warden. she’s just like, the universal big sister.

but yeah anyway there was a point in bownammar after two weeks straight of nonstop killing and living off of tainted deep mushrooms and raw lyrium after she succumbs to exhaustion and she’s being force fed dwarven flesh and hespith is begging for death and ash literally has to use it as a bargaining chip to get her to tell her what’s going on and she finds alistair and she gets that second wind and kills every darkspawn and broodmother in the trenches and she’s like fuck it this is my calling it’s what i was put on thedas to do so she just like. THRIVES on death and darkness. and she just kind of assumed anders would eventually turn that corner as well since she sees a lot of her younger self in him. (i’m also fucking with the timelines so that he was 20-ish when he joined and she was 24-25) (kinda young for a commander but she killed an archdemon and lived so nobody’s questioning her) (bc during the blight she decided ‘well as the highest ranking surviving gray wardem i’m promoting myself to commander’) (also he was with them for 4 years before leaving for kirkwall and living there for another year before he met hawke who had been there for 6 years)

also keep in mind the way i build anders, he gets NO offensive spells. pure healer. he’s not a Death person, he’s a Life person. in-universe that translates to “yeah i know the basic elemental summoning spells they teach every kid in the circle but other than that i’m useless in a straight fight.” and this is a deliberate choice on his part because he knew the less offensive magic he knows the less he’s going to get forced into being a human weapon in the Chantry’s next crusade. because anders does not want to fight, he does not like fighting, and he definitely does not want to be used as a weapon. and he never turns that corner. (neither does alistair and that’s why ash made him king)

also the gray wardens are a hivemind and can hear each other’s thoughts which is why they tend to travel in smaller groups and it also means they get REAL close REAL fast in a sibling kind of way so there’s virtually no fraternizing within the wardens but also the warden stamina and the warden appetite go beyond just fighting and eating ifyouknowhatimean and a) it’s weird that everybody can “hear” you having sex and Knows. he’s not embarrassed because, hey, Circle, but it’s weird and b) it fucking sucks hearing everybody fucking else having sex EVERY. NIGHT. FOR GODDAMN HOURS ON END. WHEN HE’S JUST TRYING TO SLEEP.

so he starts thinking “what if i leave, go to kirkwall, bust out my boyfriend, start a real clinic, and thrive?”

and so he tells her “Hey commander? i’d rather get spitroasted by 2 ogres then have my spine pulled out through my ass than ever set foot in the deep roads again.”

and she tells him “that’s tough but we need a medic for this so pack up. we’re leaving after breakfast tomorrow.”

then in the deep roads they get separated and there’s a cave-in and justice gets his body crushed under a falling boulder and he’s like “well guess i’ll die.” but the hurlocks are closing in and anders knows a few shields and that’s the closest to actual battle magic he can do. so he’s like “hey i have an Idea”

and nate and velanna place bets on whether he’s alive. anders is hurt when he finds out nate bet against him but touched that velanna believed in him

i’ve actually been considering writing a fic where the commander is the one they run into in the deep roads.

so short answer, no, i have headcanons to circumvent the whole thing. idk if any of this helps at all bc i’m at the point where my canon is practically an au.

#dragon age #anders #da headcanons #gray wardens #kiosk rambles #ask #anonymous #Anonymous

7 notes · View notes

coalessscence · 5 years

Text

one of my favorite worst things to Think About are the ways herb’s casually neglectful childhood sometimes just....surfaces in the every day world of his life now. and since his whole shtick is my childhood was perfect my father is basically god and i have absolutely no parent issues idk what ur talking abt, he winds up having to flail, having to learn on the way down, and try to keep up a cover that he knew all along. which, usually, doesn’t work, and just makes it all the more sad. here’s a few examples i’ve thought of because i don’t love myself:

someone around the station gets stuck with something metal and comments they might need a tetanus shot. herb was definitely never taken to the doctor’s for a checkup and regular vaccinations as a child, and since he works daytime hours lucille takes the kids while he’s at work, so he literally has never had a shot and he doesn’t fully understand what vaccines are, aside from cultural osmosis, so he asks in telling confusion, “what’s that supposed to mean?” @piper-aileen-lenox specifically, thnx for making me think of this and ruining my life xx

when herb and lucille moved in together (i imagine they were engaged but maybe not married just yet) lucille made it clear to her rather sexist fiance that she was expecting him to tow the line around the house just as much as her, which he agreed to, except when she asked him to do the grocery shopping thinking that was a harmless thing he could do (not like she’d trust him to actually get the dishes clean or fold her clothes so they don’t wrinkle). they almost never had food consistently in the house growing up and if they did eat full meals, they only had the food for THAT MEAL around because 1. herb sr. and ruby (herb’s parents) lived an erratic lifestyle of little to no money or a whole lot of money but only for a second because it was burning a hole in herb sr.’s pocket, and because 2. ruby quickly learned spending money on food ahead was pointless because either herb sr. hecked off somewhere w/o warning and it went bad, or his deadbeat friends hung around and ate it all, so she only bought for that day if they had the money for anything. but since no one was ever around to TEACH herb anything and he figured most things out on his own, herb doesn’t understand all this and he literally thinks you’re not supposed to by food until you run out or that you have to throw out whatever you have left at the end of the week because....... who knows ???? that’s just what he thought. it caused multiple arguments early into herb and lucille’s relationship before she figured it out and explained it to him because he didn’t know well enough to ask.

when herb and lucille’s first child, bunny, was born, he had to be shown how to hold a baby by the doctor. he had literally never held or even interacted with a baby before until that moment. he had no siblings (that he knew of), he had no friends as a child because if he wasn’t the bully he was the target and he was an ass just like dear old dad so no one liked him anyway, and he had 0 other family. lucille realized in that moment as she watched his palpable confusion when she extended their newborn child to him that he was going to have a lot of learning and growing to do. she hoped he was ready for it.

god that time there was a station fam barbecue early into herb’s wkrp career and someone, maybe mr. carlson, is like ‘WHO WANTS TO BE THE GRILL MASTER’ like its a big deal and everyone is like oh it has to be herb bc he’s the newest out of us and hes aware all the men see it as a status symbol and he CAN’T be less of a man than another man bc Ego (tm) so hes like of course im the grill master !!! and then panics for the next thirty minutes because he’s literally never even stood next to a grill let alone used one HOW DOES IT WORK the first fifteen minutes he doesnt even have the gas on rip

when herb was, like, 15, he taught himself how to drive a car because one of his “friends” (peers who was a bully that he called a friend and hung out with to stop also getting bullied but who was still bullying him anyway, herb was just brainwashed into thinking that’s what friendship is) wanted them to go out cruising and herb wanted to be a Cool Guy and not look like a chump so he lied and said he could drive. they got pulled over, because of course they did, and herb got in big trouble for you know, driving w/o a licences. the kicker though is that herb didn’t fucking know you can’t drive without a license or that licenses and road tests and drivers ed were even a THING because he literally raised himself and no one ever t a u g h t h i m a n y t h i n g. anyways his dad got called home to deal with it from wherever he was away at at the time and he got in big trouble for interrupting dear old dad’s work anyways so :) what a healthy family

surprisingly, herb DID know how to cook the basics. grilled cheese, pasta, stir fries, a couple casseroles. lucille asked him about it because he was always such a Gender Roles (tm) type of man who wouldn’t even wear a brighter shade of red than like. maroon. in case it got loosely contaminated with the concept of the color pink and he’d have to change his name and move to alaska. so why was he doing a “ womans job “ (cooking) and herb just looked confused and said “what, guys don’t cook?” she told him that no, they usually didn’t and would have laughed at her if she tried to make them, and he laughed awkwardly and absently stirred the pot on the stove and shrugged in mild confusion. “that’s weird. if i didn’t cook i’d have... starved, i guess.”

the bad news is his cooking wasnt GREAT and lucille was happy to take over because again.........self taught. and he has one (1) brain cell so. not Great

LITERALLY DIDN’T KNOW ALL CLOTHES DON’T HAVE TO BE DRY CLEANED. his dad literally wore clothes that had to be dry cleaned Every Day (and we wonder why the tarlek family was short on the food budget god) (and they were ugly clothes too akdhfjfg) and ofc if ruby washed her clothes, it was while herb was at school. he dry cleaned so many clothes that do Not Make Sense to dry clean in college before he slowly figured that out.

did not know what an allowance was. bunny asked him for one and not willing to seem stupid to his swift daughter he told her to ‘ask her mother’, who thought it was hecking weird that her money obsessed husband would say that, so she asked him why and after several long minutes he just shrugged helplessly and said “what’s an allowance?”

don’t even get me started on herb and lucille planning their wedding ( ‘what kind of stuff should we put on the gift register?’ “put on the WHAT?” ‘what are we going to put on top of the cake?’ “there’s gonna be CAKE?” ‘i can’t wait for daddy to walk down the isle with me, it’ll mean a lot to him’ “your DAD is gonna walk you down the isle....?? but you’re marrying ME, right?” ) also herb not knowing the wedding look of the bride is supposed to be a Secret and barging into the room w a question or smth while lucille and her bridesmaids are getting ready, and everyone is hella miffed and he’s like WHAT i’ve seen her naked before and theyre all like THATS NOT THE POINT HERB

herb did Not Know about seasonal allergies. he just........didn’t know. he just thought god hated him and every spring and fall his head sprung a leak. and the whole time he was growing up no one A. listened to him complain about them and put 2 and 2 together, nor B. just taught him about basic first aid stuff in general for that matter he doesnt know shit. anyways, then lucille was like why are you such a tough guy just stop complaining and take some medicine for your stupid allergies and he was like take some what for my what now

ANYWAYS herb’s mom left while he was v young and he doesn’t remember much about her. herb’s dad was literally n e v e r home. the people herb’s dad left him with would work for obscenely low amounts of pay or owed herb sr. money and largely used all the money for their own food, drugs, alcohol, or other more unsightly business, and left herb alone to fend for himself. this is the disaster human that that produced, thanks, family dynamics! don’t abandon your children, kids, thanks for coming to my ted talk

#✘ hi gorgeous | MUSE (herb)#✘ h.t. is in for the duration | HEADCANONS (herb)#✘ sales manager not so extraordinaire | ABOUT (herb)#⌲ o o c

1 note · View note

glowyves · 6 years

Note

Can you do small introductions on each loona member? Or i mean not all of them if u dont want ik theres like 27 of them but just little descriptions of what u think of em would be cute

a chance? to talk abt the loves of my life?

heejin: you knwo that friend who like if u fuck around during the school yr and need someone to help u out w notes and getting yourself together bc u know shes always on top of her game? thats heejin. girly is an all rounder tbh she can sing dance and as much as ppl like 2 clown her for her rapping shes really not all that bad. LIKE shes just so versatile. she showed that thru mixnine which lol i didnt watch besides cuts but if u watch her performing on there and then see her performing with loona 1/3 it’s like complete opposites but she manages to shine no matter what like it’s effortless for her. shes such a sweet girl too i really do feel like theres a reason she was picked to go first bc she has such a likeable personality. shes funny, hardworking, humble (but not to the point to where she downplays her worth), and just seems like a real ride or die type of friend

hyunjin: MY BABY i hav such a soft spot for hyunjin and it’s hard not to??? she comes across as a little quiet at first and she acts like she doesnt care but she does u know she does shes not fooling anyone idc how many times shes told yeojin 2 shut up on camera i know she’d be one of the first if not THE first girl 2 be by her side (and any members side) if some shit went down. shes such a determined little thing too and when she has her eyes on something she goes for it no thinking abt it no questions asked she just does what she wants and thats something so impressive for a girl her age to be able to do. i feel like shes the type of person to just sit in the back and watch more than participate bc she doesnt mind if the other girls take the spotlight like shes such a chill, laid-back soul. i aspire to be like her. and shes so fucking funny really it’s almost criminal how hard she makes me laugh. ALSO she has the best reactions it’s a disgrace more than anything that i dont hav a folder of just her making stupid faces

haseul: the absolute love of my life? THE jo haseul?? theres a reason shes the member i latched onto the most at the beginning and ultimately kinda the member that tied me down to loona for good. like i was onboard w them from the get but it’s her that sealed the deal. i dont joke when i say she really is their guardian angel and no matter what u think of her in the comparison to the other girls u cant deny the fact that shes born leader material. she makes the other girls feel good and at-ease yknow. like she was always around vivi in the 1/3 loona tvs and u could tell it was like 2nd nature to her being by her side as vivi navigated her way through a country and language she wasnt all too familiar with. and like w/ yves for another example like yves if all facts check out was only w/ bbc for a three week period before they debuted her so obviously she wasnt familiar with any of the girls which is why she was so awkward at first. but haseul? bless her soul she did all that she could to make her feel at home. and she has such a beautiful voice i feel like not enough ppl praise her for it. also fuck yg for making her feel bad during mixnine she deserves the world and he can suck my big toe

yeojin: miss thang miss thang. what 2 say what 2 say. first things first shes a trooper. shes a baby i mean a lot of them are babies but yeojin is an actual baby baby i almost fainted when i learned how old she is. but despite her age shes so firm yknow. when shes doing things she wants to do them right to the best of her abilities and shes always striving to be better which is so admirable bc for me personally at that age i was a goddamn mess i couldnt be doing and juggling even a third of the shit she does. and shes right next to hyunjin when it comes to making me laugh shes just so loud and full of energy even 2 the point where i get tired watching her and im loud and full of energy but her being loud and being full of energy kicks my being loud and being full of energy in the ass. if any of that made sense. but theres never a dry eye in sight when shes in the room and u can tell shes such a joy 2 be around as much shit as the other girls give her lol i just feel real protective of her bc shes just so full of life and laughter and i just want her to be out here living her best life

vivi: it needs 2 be said that i have such high respect for any kpop idol who’s from another country bc theres just so much thats going against them. miss vivi is away from home away from her comfort space away from her friends and family away from a place where she can speak proficiently and fluently bc shes struggling to learn a new language and?? on top of that shes doing all the other standard idol stuff. thats some tough shit thats some scary shit but she takes it all on with a brave face and an open mind. and being able to slowly watch her build up more confidence in the language and basically everything else has been such an honor. like when im out here on my weak shit feeling sorry for myself i gotta think 2 myself what would miss vivi do? how would miss vivi tackle this? i lov this girl honestly i would die for her she does so much and i feel like not all of it is fully appreciated but she’ll have her moment i know she will and it’ll only be a matter of time before ppl see how amazing she is

kim lip: giiiiiiiiirl. lip is such a strong person. like in all aspects. shes crazy talented it’s a little scary to think abt how much she’ll grow once they properly debut as a group and she gets more experience bc?? she just has so much going for her. her charisma is off the charts she can easily pull a crowd if her solo being a real big jumping point in spreading the loona name says anything at all. and shes such a good pick for the oec leader she definitely has those vibes like u just cant help but listen to her regardless of whatever bullshit she says and she says a lot of bullshit but do i liv by that bullshit and eat it up like shes spouting out the new testament u can bet ur ass i do. lip is definitely one of those girls that u cant help but be drawn to like u just want 2 be her bff bc once u remove her from the stage she has such girl next door vibes i feel like she’d be the type of girl u see in the club and u make small talk by the bar bc u made eye contact by accident and all of the sudden before u know it youve spent ur whole night w her and u hav her phone number and plans to meet up next week bc shes so friendly

jinsoul: i make fun of her a lot. but w good reason: shes easy 2 make fun of. shes so quirky but not in the ironic way like shes really quirky and a bit of a walking disaster but it’s charming and she makes it work. even if shes not ur fav? shes still? kinda ur fav? even if u dont know it? if i made a list of some of my fav loona moments i assure u she’d be included in about 80% of it like shes such a staple to the group i really cant imagine her not being w them i mean i cant imagine the group w/o any of them but jinsoul especially. sometimes i watch loona vids knowing good and damn well shes not gonna be in them but i still end up thinking where is jinsoul?? bc not 2 speak for everybody (i will tho) but no one can get enough jinsoul. also her voice? i love it it’s one of my favs in not only loona but kpop in general. both speaking-wise and singing-wise. it’s just so pretty i really did astral project the first time i heard sitr & love letter. true out of body experiences 10/10 would recommend the yelp reviews are in shes 100% worth It. what is the It shes worth? idk but whatever It is .. shes worth It.

choerry: i just want her 2 be my little sister wow. miss yerim really has my heart. truly the embodiment of :) . shes so smily and has such a strong energy u cant help but like her. in every loona tv shes in shes making someone laugh or smile and it’s no coinkidink it’s bc shes really just that much of a ray of sunshine and u cant help but fall for her. give her some time i pledge w my life that once they debut she is going 2 shine on variety shows theres no way she wont. she has such good sense and shes so flexible. and if lcm is anything 2 go by shes able to switch it up and kill different concepts and sounds at the drop of a hat. def one to keep ur eye on bc u just know shes gonna go far in the future theres no way she wont she has all the tools in her arsenal to make it big no problem. does she resemble the annoying orange? yes and i’ll hate kim lip forever for putting that image in my head but that wont stop her shes truly a force to be reckoned with.

yves: my baby! u didnt hear this from me but i lov her a lot. she was kinda just thrown 2 the wolves w/ her three weeks of training i can only imagine how nerve wracking it must’ve been for her. here is an army of girls bbc has as potential loona members whove been training for years/knew the other girls who were already chosen as loona members/have even gone along for the ride with the chosen loona members to film their mvs and yet shes the one who was picked to be added after three weeks of her being w the company. three weeks !!! thats a lot of pressure but despite that she gave us everything she got. she was real nervous in the beginning anyone could tell when u watched her loona tv arc but she got over it and by the time chuu’s arc rolled around she was joking around w/ the others like it was nothing. shes so funny too but in an awkward way. like she doesnt mean to be but she says and does shit that makes u ?? and u cant help but laugh. her gig with marishe? i have never seen anything funnier like that bitch really took 100+ photos all w the same face and w the same three poses if that’s not talent idk what is. and i dont think it’s been confirmed in writing yet but shes gonna be such a good leader for the eden unit i feel it in my bones

chuu: when i tell u my heart has skipped a beat over this girl. im not saying it 2 be dramatic im deadass. my heart has skipped a beat multiple times watching her whether it be a fancam or a loona tv or even a selfie. i’ve watched that little instagram update of her in her pig onesie more times than i want 2 disclose. her voice???? oh my god im in love with it. shes such a strong singer like STRONG and u can hear that in heart attack and girl’s talk and see saw but if u listen to her covers shes done before being introduced as a member it’s like !!!!! wow. and she makes a lot of noises. like just incoherent sounds and its so cute i could cry. like i dont have the attention span 2 sit and watch a vlive if it’s not subbed … but i’d do it for her just bc i love hearing her talk i love her voice on any and all levels u could love someones voice. and all her little mannerisms are adorable and this could really turn into me typing a whole mla formatted essay on how i find her 2 be one of the cutest girls in the world but i’ll spare u. and ofc shes not just cute like i said before this girl is talented and i cant wait for loona to grow as a group so she can be on bigger and bigger platforms for more and more ppl to hear her sing bc thats just how it should be

gowon: i lov her i lov her i lov her!! i’d do just about anything for this girl if she asked but i feel like regardless of who u are u wouldnt be able to refuse her even if u wanted to. i latch onto every word she says everything she says is gold. shes so giggly and a lot of that giggling is bc she probably feels awkward but it’s still real cute. shes also lowkey highkey gotta mouth on her like she’ll really come for ppls throats if she feels it’s necessary and thats beautiful to me. she doesnt get enough credit but as pretty as she is more attention should be focused on her talents bc she is a talented girl. her vocal tone is high and ‘cute’ but i think it melds so well w/ the other girls’ voices and theres a lot of opportunity there if and when they decide to create new sub-units/have more duet songs. and my girl can dance im tired of ppl overlooking her bc?? her pre-debut vids are a little stiff ye but theres so much potential there shes such a gem and i cant wait for her to grow more bc i know theres so much she could be doing w/ what she has

olivia hye: when she said love myself today let u go today? i felt that

#this was just me rambling i know theres no substance at all but here take it its all i can giv u . idk if this is what u were looking for??#U SAID SMALL INTROS IM JUST NOW REALIZING IM SRRY I HOPE THIS IS SMALL ENOUGH FOR U #also yall dont hav 2 read it but please like this i typed too much for it to flop lol

93 notes · View notes

kyunsies · 3 years

Note

Hello Mädch ahsdjaksdh <3 !!

how is college going? dw, I hope you are settling in super well and feeling optimistic about school and all the amazing things I know you are going to achieve this year! I am excited that you are starting your rotations now! you are going to do awesome, I know it! I'm sorry that you didn't get that ICU first like you wanted but hopefully it's all part of the plan so that you get it at the right time for you <3 let me know how they go, of course. I hope they go super well.

the week has been a bit weird to be honest, in my team I had a semi argument that was properly tense for the first time with someone and it was just so unpleasant. you know those people where they aren't horrible but you know that you'll never completely see eye to eye with them? i think it's just one of those things, where we'll never just completely read each other or get each other? and it's not, like, a massive issue or anything that we can't deal with, but I feel like usually I get on really well with people or not at all (all or nothing person I guess haha) but with this person I've just got to admit that we're always going to be a bit in the middle? like, we talked it over, and I've still found sometimes we misunderstand one another? so things are still good in work and clients, but with workpeople it has been the more difficult battle? hopefully we should get some more cool media stuff with the K-pop people soon, so that's an up?

OMGsh your coworkers are so much older than you! [lease do post a picture of your room, I am 100% confident that you have made it so dreamy and pretty. Thank you sm for telling me more about these operations though! I feel like everywhere is on red alert at the moment when it comes to health and care and making sure that people look after themselves and not put others at risk, you know? the doctors that to talk to me about my potential surgeries too have said the same but it's nice hearing it from a friend, you know? so thank youuuu <3 <3

I was the same as you, I would get so so so anxious and stressed if I wasn't studying or working or anything like that? but my mum is like your mum and grandma, where she gets up early too! but I feel like I need to do the late night thing instead? but then once I got into this crazy spiral where I would wake up really early and go to bed really late and like nap in between so I ended up like having two hours of sleep either side? that was peak wth at the time haha XD so now I try and let myself wake up a bit later really XD ha ha I'm in barely adulting! like I work so much but I don't earn a lot ha ha – I don't think that's very effective adulting? or like, I don't know I guess for a lot of people my age there's a work hard and hope it pays off thing in certain industries? so you're definitely more effectively adulting than me right now! like, you're going to do stuff that's gonna actively help people and you'll see that right in front of you, you know!!? sometimes my work gets out there but I rarely see directly if it gets to make peoples lives better you know? so the path you're on is so so admirable <3 <3 <3

I get you though, do you find that you thrive under the pressure even though it's sometimes a lot? I find that sometimes it does help me, but sometimes I forget to identify the times when it isn't helping me? or, sometimes I take it too far? so please look out for yourself and take care of yourself <3 and when you're worried if you're on the edge know that it's enough for you to take a rest and not be super perfect. i sometimes tell myself to except that I'm probably gonna make two or three stupid mistakes a day? It sounds kind of silly but it means that it makes it easier for me to accept when I mess up, idk, I think it helps me balance the pressure sometimes? i 100% understand what you're saying - at school do they have people that can directly help? or like peer supporters so it's not as stressful or official feeling as a therapist? if you ever want me to come off anon to help lemme know <3 i'm always here for you <3

oh my gosh your grandparents have been able to live long too! all my grandparents lived close to 100 before passing, and one of my grandmothers had the same as your grandfather. he sounds so sweet and so kind though! i love that he knows how to FaceTime you! Some of my aunts and uncles still don't properly haha. it sounds like he knows that he's super loved though, he's very lucky <3 <3 i've been thinking about all this really lovely stuff and how it grounds you when stuff like careers can stress you out and feel like the most important thing when it shouldn't be? what are the personality differences between the different areas of the US? my East Coast friends seem to straight talk a lot more than my West Coast friends? like they're a lot more realistic as opposed to being, I don't know laid-back or if not laid-back sometimes just more comfortable with superficial stuff? Not like my West Coast friends are superficial people, but I think they accept it as part of the world a bit better? my friends on the east coast will rail against that stuff a lot more, like they buy into the influencer bullshit less? but I guess these are all sweeping generalisations anyway... I might have to travel a bit in europe soon... I got asked to go to otaly for some work today, and to holland next month. Idk if it will end up happening though, things change all the time? I have to keep checking quarantine rules all the time with countries! but YAY and YES Europe tour trip one day :D !!!!!!!

you know what? when I first saw you compare bowling and golf I was like, wait, what? but now I totally get it! i know a golfer and they talk about how physical and strenuous it is on the arms and stuff all the time which I don't think always comes across when you watch it and it makes a lot of sense with how you describe how you trained for bowling! i used to cox in rowing and I always used to find it really funny that I said that was the sport I did because honestly I just sat in the boat all the time and steered XD

obligatory YES WTF ARE COTTON SCENTS! quite a few shops in the city where I live have been closing down because of Covid but our Jo Malone is still going strong! I love that lots of already classic clothing shops have now gone out of business but for some reason the people where I live cannot live without their perfume XD I think I'm gonna go in later this week or next week to take a look! with all this travelling I kind of want to buy something new? also, my hands have been acting up with injury so I have to rest my hands more anyway – so might as well look for perfume right? do you have any recommendations or would the blueberry one you've just gotten be at the top of your list?

the exciting thing is that I'm doing a bit less this week! I need to wait and see if that job wants me to fly out to Italy within the next 48 hours, if not next week, but if not I think I'm gonna figure out how to rehabilitate my joints a bit and get my brain okay? It's been existential Covid crisis week haha - I think a lot of me and my friends have been feeling like we've lost so much of our lives and potential during this time and I've really tried to hold in and ignore it for the past 18 months? i'm not one to ever feel lonely or to really really want to be in a relationship like some of my friends, but I've just been feeling it this week? like, I love my independence, but I wouldn't say no to a boyfriend right now you know? I feel silly saying that sometimes because I'm so against feeling like you have to have someone in your life to be okay, but I guess that's just a result of how the world is has been recently?? but I think all my feelings exploded around this stuff now so, I am trying to get back into a better place? so it's not as exciting as some of the stuff I've told you about before, but it's what's up I guess?

how are your mum and grandmother doing? are they doing good? [lease send all my love to them too. I'm glad these help you reflect on your week! they do with me too and I'm always happy to hear from you, no matter how long you might need <3 <3 hope you manage to reward yourself for working so hard these past days and that you remember you're always doing 110% so you deserve the best!

love you lots and lots - 💥

ANGEL HELLO !!!!!!!!! i told myself i would stay on top of this and swear in a timely manner but ;_____; a full week + 2 clinical rotations later here i am on a sunday, it seems this is always the case :( maybe my get back to you day will only be on sundays LOL i will try my best in the future babe, but ofc thank you so much for being patient with me <3

uni is going fine so far hun !!!! i've started clinical rotations as i've said on thursday and friday, and then my first exam is on tuesday so i read some chapters yesterday so i'm not squished for time lol :) and ,,,, what you said "hope it's all part of the plan" is very much my way of thinking lol wha is your sign? i'm a sagittarius and that's like, a philosophy i go by like everything is how it's supposed to be even if it's not what u want like everything will work itself out :') i'm wondering if we are one in the same !!!!! <3

and omg ;_____; conflict within the workplace is NEVER easy bc all everyone wants is to reach the goal you all are reaching and bc there's some bumps in the road it makes everything that much more stressful :( and i know exactly the type of person you are talking about LOL i've had to work with some of my peers in the hospital who really didn't treat me all that nicely , but i still have to partner up with them anyways bc we had to move a patient lol ; like they never do anything terrible to you but you just cannot come to a proper agreement with them? i know the feeling :( but i can tell you are doing ur absolute best ;_____; it's a tough situation ,,,,,,,,, but may i propose something ??? maybe since things are high stress in the workplace, would u be willing to meet them outside the workplace, like a quick coffee meet up and then discuss those issues? maybe talking about it in the work environment is way too stressful for both of u and it is hard to come to an agreement, but maybe in a calmer, more informal setting do u think maybe the both of u could be like "hey, what u were talking about i'm not really head over heels for but this is what i think and do u think we can do something where both of us will be happy?" im thinking maybe will opening up a means for more civilized discussion?? just a thought LOL :') let me know how it goes :( i hope u are all able to figure everything out !!!!!

about the surgeries !!!!! like i said i know it's super stressful to think about bc this is one of the very few times in life where things are absolutely out of our control and that scares us, and we as medical providers aren't supposed to give u a false sense of security, but i promise u everything will be just fine as long as u correctly follow up with care post-op :) we wouldn't want an infection !!!! >;( i remember last year i had a patient and she was going in for a routine colonoscopy and she was scared shitless ,,,,,,, but i was like "listen ma'am i know it can seem scary but i was just in there with the doctors and everything is super relaxed and they know what they're doing in there, you'll be out in no time and i'll be here waiting !!" and that seemed to help her a lot, after the surgery she was on me like flies on shit LOL she was like "THANK U HONEY" (but i think most of it was bc she was still drugged up hhh)

LOL us with our family members waking up early <3 literally this morning i decided to do my laundry at 8am (its only 10 right right now lol) but idk it just make u feel a little bit better doesn't it? but oh my gosh no i don't see u in this way at all ;_____; babe like you're already THERE in the world working and to me like ,,,,,, being an effective functioning person in society is like all i ever want i just want to be COMPETENT and the fact that u manage ppl ???? it's already a lot of responsibility but you do it everyday like you go to work u make food for yourself u pay bills like yes this all kinda sucks but you're there doing it and idk ,,,,,,,, like u being in this position is like yeah their surviving in the world and doing okay !!!! so that’s how i see u hun ;_____;

and i don’t think i necessarily thrive under pressure but i just kinda ,,,,,,, handle it?? like i think i handle my stress quite well !!! i think the reason why making mistakes scares me so much in my field is bc if i make a mistake i can like, kill someone or seriously harm them if i do something wrong SLKDFJ but i have to remember i’m still just a student and a lot of the things that i’ll learn won’t even be in these last few months of nursing school, but rather during my months of orientation on the floor i’ll be working on when i finally land a job ,,,,,, i know i just have to be patient and kind to myself, but it’s hard not having these high expectations for myself bc everyone else pushes themselves super hard (nurses i mean) so i feel like i should be too , ya know? ;_____; it’s a hard balance that i’ve yet to find but hopefully once i graduate i’ll have just a little bit more confidence in myself :’)

and omg your grandparents lived a long life as well !!!!!!!! a lot of my friends’ grandparents are really young still, so it’s hard for others to relate i think LOL but :(((( i’m really lucky to have them around still and like, i feel like my grandparents are the cornerstone of our whole entire family; once they pass i’m not quite sure what will happen ;_____; so i’m just trying to cherish every moment that i have with them even tho sometimes it’s stressful lol ; also BOUT THE DIFFERENCES FROM EAST TO WEST COAST LOL ; i think u described it really well actually :) like among the friends u have the are from different parts of the states, it’s very accurate in my opinion !! and again after all it is just a very broad assumption, in general east coasters have this “workaholic” attitude, they tend to be very realistic which i actually appreciate a lot lol, i’m hoping to live near the east coast when i move out <3 now where i am from it is considered the midwest even tho it’s more east than west if u look at it on the map LMAO and like, it’s really funny bc if u say to someone you’re from the midwest they’ll tell u our reputation is being “too nice” LSKDLFJSKLD and like that’s our thing, a happy medium between coasts with big cities but small towns too and generally just very chill and nice ,,,,,,,, the south of the US is also known for having that “southern hospitality” overall very cheerful ppl with personality and super kind attitude on life :) now the west of the US i’m not saying there aren’t nice ppl out there bc there are LOL but esp near lost angeles or hollywood ofc you’re going to have ppl very stuck up bc ya know they made it to big bad LA and they want to be trendy with all of the fake health shit (celery juice does NOTHING FOR U sorry lol) generally my view of the west is just very fake and i would never want to have my family grow up there LMAO but that generally like, california and washington but like, utah or wyoming or colorado are just absolutely gorgeous and they have small town ppl there bc there are a lot of ranches there ,,,,,,,, does any of this make sense to u ??? KLASFJ

i’m going to skip a few paragraphs bc this is so long already LMAO but trust me i’ve read everything so far lol ; it seems like you’re doing a lot of traveling !!!!!! <3 i’m so jealous !!!!!!!! italy sounds so beautiful i would love love to go some day :( ALSO U SMELLED THE BLUEBELL PERFUME RIGHT ???? U LIKED IT ?????? doesn’t it smell absolutely divine??? no matter how many scents i smelled after that i knew it was the right one for me ldkfsdlkfj <3 i’m still so in love with it ;____; also about ur lil rant about feeling lonesome :( bub i can really relate to this and i feel the same way like my mom and the rest of my family never pushed me to meet anyone and i’ve always never had a problem making friends, but like, as i’m older and i realize i’ll be alone a lot more of my time once i graduate like i really do want to share my life with someone :( i have a lot of love and i want to be able to show it to someone i care about a lot but i just never really take the initiative to do that bc quite honestly i’m not confident in myself lMAO so ,,,,,,, i know we never feel like we need to be dependent on someone but sharing experiences with someone who feels very strongly for u seems nice, doesn’t it? i wish this for both of us really soon okay?? <3 i tell my friends i would LOVE to be engaged right now lskdjfslfjs :’)

but anyways !!!!!!!! my mom and the rest of my family is doing well <3 and i’m doing okay too !!!!!! i don’t want to bore u with how clinicals are going but if u want me to tell u just let me know LOL and angel i know i say it all the time but always thank u so much for being patient with me okay? u are the absolute best !!!!!! also as promised, here are a few pics of my dorm room LOL it’s a shoebox but it’s my shoebox :) enjoy !!!!!!

#asks #💥 anon #my dorm is the oldest one on campus so :’) it looks a little ugly but I try my best MXJDJD #ignore the popcorn bag on the side :)#also peep the jo malone perfume LOL

0 notes

brokenhayatim · 4 years

Text

the projectionist

[now playing: the projectionist & north by sleeping at last]

this has been a long time coming but i couldn’t put my words to paper screen.

when hands are tied and clocks are ticking an audience convinced: we’re leaning in holding our breath again

i can’t wait to go back to my place. i used to say that a lot, not out of spite or rudeness but because i genuinely couldn’t wait to be back to my own calm. its hit me now how i’ll no longer have that. and i wish i could feel finally sad or even say i’m still overwhelmed and confused, but it’s this sense of somber longing i guess. longing to keep something so good and somber at the reality that i just..won’t have that soon. i began calling this place home years ago and not because of the state (please, i would’ve anywhere but this state if not for the people i’ve met here) but because it’s my home. i more than just studied here, i built a fresh start, a life here. and i feel like i won’t have that again. is this what people feel like when they move out of their home of like 14 years that they raised 4 children and adopted 3 dogs in. it’s more tough than i thought, you know. every lease i’ve signed (shaking bc commitment may i add) i’ve always know i would be here the next, even though not in the same place and living with the same people, i’d still be here. i get emotional and nostalgic thinking of my former places every time i move, and i still think back to my first. i remember moments so vividly and what the apartment looked like from every square inch. but this is different. i moved an entire state away, essentially to be alone, and i love it. i love that i don’t depend on people for the simple things and less for the difficult things. i love that i have a routine. i like that i come home and i’m alone (roommates, i know, but it’s different). i go to the grocery store alone, i’ve learned the way and i’ve walked. i like that i could walk to target and walgreens, because i’ve learned the way. i like that i don’t have to depend on driving especially, i take a few ubers but even then, i’m comfortable doing that. something new york asiya would never have been. i go for mri’s alone. i walk to uni alone and back (except when i take the bus bc gurl i would sweat). i go the airport and fly alone, something i’ve loved. don’t get me wrong i love my siblings and miss them dearly but that’s what visits are for, and we have those every few months. no one has also came to visit me except my sister twice, and would i really want them too..i don’t know. **to expand on that first time at a later date** but now my brain is like ‘come. see the life i’ve made for myself. i want to show you all i’ve built’.

we'll tell our stories on these walls. every year, measure how tall and just like a work of art we'll tell our stories on these walls

i’m not ready for so many unknowns. where will i live soon? how many jobs will i have to apply for and which ones? even simplest things like where will i do my laundry? i’ve babbled about this but i’m so incredibly grateful for the apartments that i’ve had with amenities. my sisters are always shocked to know how i live at such a small price, but student housing [chef’s kiss]. but things like central ac and in home laundry, i’ve never thought of that, but new york i’ll have to. i’ll probs have to buy my room ac and walk for laundry if i live in the city. i can’t imagine i’d get a graphic design job or something similar anywhere near where i live, so the city i shall be. how far will i have to go to the store? what may happen on the way? i’ve sometimes worried about walking to the store here, mostly when they have kidnappers on the loose, but i always feel more safe than not. i walk 20/30 mins to target and walgreens on foot on the side of the main road and i’ve taken public transportation too. story on that, i told my first roommate how to get to the store from the bus and she was terrified so i went with her and she was like ...i can’t do this alone, i’ll just call a car. would new york asiya have done that too? probably not. because florida me is more independent (idk if bold or courageous is the word) and probs just a little crazy. ubers also are way more expensive in new york, just to add on that. i’ve taken the subway and train alone in new york and have walked blocks alone around nyu and parks. i know new york well, where i live and a bit of the city, but it’s not the same. my dream would be like keeping what i have here and copy and pasting it into the state of new york. i’ve always been and felt like a new yorker here, not once a floridian. i definitely don’t even do that school pride thing, some people actually never knew where i went to college. new york is also home for me, but it’s like my baby home. sometimes i think i was genuinely crazy coming here alone and not even knowing anything about the state nor ever seeing the university. but it was the best thing. i’m always depressed, yes, and i hate people, yes. but despite all of me being a constant emotional tragedy, i really love what i have here. it’s my own. i’ve become that person that tells you directions or tells you where to get what where. and now i’ll have to go back to someone that has to ask 89 questions and gets lost 14 times. ah, but if only i was rich and i could have it all.

so we’re leaving, we’re leaving our shadows behind us now we’re leaving, we’re leaving it all behind for now

i can’t wait to go back to my place. i’ll no longer have a home to run off to for months when i don’t feel right. i’ve actually booked flights earlier than i and my family planned/expected just to jet sometimes. i always come back with my suitcase(s) and feel at home walking into my place. i know, inshallah, i’ll have that again in new york or wherever i am, but i HATE CHANGE. its such a big shift that i’m like..can we do baby steps?? i haven’t even been avoiding it for months, i’ve genuinely forgotten until like march when i had to decide on graduation stuff. and now i’ve opened my suitcase and feel like i’m doing my my clothes wrong by putting them in a suitcase to travel a state away and not a few streets. my 3 apartments have essentially been in between two streets, you see one, turn right and drive down, there’s another, turn left and then another left, drive down the road and there’s my current one, which is about two minutes from the first if you drive up a little down. it’s legit a square..but irrelevant. i know i can always come back to visit, but it won’t be the same. my social interaction meter already runs out in like 24 hours as it is then i need to come back home, imagine if i have to stay at someone’s house for like 3 days, lord. i don’t really know if it’s leaving that’s unsettling or going back knowing i won’t be fully alone from people that know me.

(not so) tangent I: i always daydreamed of traveling to another state and getting a place there. my friend is thinking of coming from germany to practice dentistry here and we could find a place together. i know moving half way across the world for someone seems like a terrible idea, and i’ve lowkey done that coming here between states, but almost seven years of adoring each other’s existence makes you mushy and a little crazy. i feel like i’ll be awkward living with friends bc i’m such a loner, but who knows. the only thing getting her through these months of her final year in dentistry school is this idea and we’ve said inshallah every other week basically so inshallah, if it’s best for us. wild also that i knew her before she even started uni, way before she started dentistry school, like damn i hadn’t realized it’s been that long.

ACTUAL tangent part II: late 2020/2021 was gonna be my planned travel year. rose was gonna have her dentistry school graduation in february so i was gonna go with more bouquets than my hands could hold. but before that i really wanted to see noor in like late december/january (shoutout to her getting her license i will never not be proud. am i smiling right now typing this? yes). i would find a way to not die in one of those taxis for this surprise, wait outside in the rain (if the sky allows) and play a neighbourhood song outside her window with my iphone that would get water damage and die, then i would sing it (i memorized the lyrics on the flight over, duh). point is, i wanted to see her first and also in one of the least hottest months bc although i would die for her, i’m not going out from heat stroke. thank you miss covid-19, i must postpone that to 2041. i would say i could move to dubai, but i love wearing black and not like..oh yeah..dying. with germany, (ironically enough where my cousin and i were gonna go, me for uni) i can barely speak english let alone learn another language. i wouldn’t subject anyone to murica so alternative options are encouraged. anyways, it’s like the virus knew i was an absolute loser. and it’s as if i have a bug to just keep hopping on planes to avoid having to deal with myself for more than twelve minutes. additional tangent, sometimes i think about how i’ve known noor for five years and like four of those years, we’ve spoken like every day..like how the hell do we do this??? we’ve exhausted every topic humanly possible and still find something new. imagine if we met and it was just [crickets] jhfghfg. i would say we share a braincell and she has it, but i feel like she has five at least. i always have the same tangent topic that literally should just be it’s own solo post..ANYWAYS.

let the years we're here be kind, be kind let our hearts, like doors, open wide, open wide settle our bones like wood over time, over time

i’m gonna continue this later bc the tangent sent my mind in a whole different direction ,, what are thoughts

#imagine how many typos this house #will update at later emo date #and yes my suitcase is open and no i have not packed anything #asiya's thoughts

0 notes

rambamboo · 7 years

Note

Yo you're like the only person I can find on tumblr that goes to/talks about AAU (that's kinda weird to me) but I'm an incoming freshmen and I wanted to ask for your... idk review(?) of the school. Like what do you like, what do you hate, and if you would recommend it? Thanks in advance!

lmao there’s a few of us we just don’t talk about .. i mean i don’t even talk about it besides the fact that it says in my faq but a bunch of ppl on here just randomly started asking me about it out of the blue so LOL

some other active tumbl arteests that go here/graduated recently are moopdrea (vis dev) and celihime (illustration) if you want to ask them things too. don’t tell them i sent you lmao

long post under cut

i guess what i like about aau/my program is gonna be diff from other ppl… and majors treat you v differently here … like animation, vis dev, and illustration seem like they would be in the same vein but they have totally different requirements, workloads, atmosphere etc

things i like:

personally there are some classes that legit changed my life and my entire view on art and myself .. like ive been extremely humbled compared to who i was in 1st year

most profs i’ve had are rly sweet ppl that genuinely wanna help you but idk if that’s specific to my major/focus (illustration - comics)

with stuff like the annual spring show and all the connections the school has, if you’re reALLY good at the time you’re about to graduate you can prob land a sweet gig(some rly awesome graduates in recent years work at disney, cartoon network, marvel, dc, etc now but pls note this is just a fraction of graduates)

things i don’t rly like:

not every prof does this but a lot of profs i’ve had are big into the mindset that it’s glorious to overwork to death for your art/cut ‘useless’ ppl out of your life etc (some profs aren’t into this at all but yeah a lot of profs do tho)

just gonna say this outright … in some classes i didn’t learn shit and wasn’t into it lmao

oh yeah there’s an 80% dropout rate or at least that’s what it was when i first came here LMAO. the program is also 5.5 years!!! not the standard 4 and idk why they don’t tell you this more clearly :^)))

this isn’t rly a thing i like nor dislike but i think prospective students should know that the grading system is real tough, at least in my major. if you do a pretty good assignment you get a C, A means professional level, and D means fail. so it’s not something you can cruise by in with last-minute work, at least in my major (i think in other majors they’re more lax about it)

^those things are about the actual classes but w stuff like facilities it’s like alright? just little things like if you’re not an animation/gamedev student or don’t have a digital class you can’t use the cintiq/intuos labs without paying a fee, the meal plans are expensive and the cafe food isn’t rly good (also they’re overcrowded a lot of the time), dorms are shoddy and also expensive lmao … it’s a for-profit school in sf so this is just what it is

i can’t just say whether or not i’d recommend the school i think it depends on a ton of different factors bc ppl come from different walks of lifei have learned A LOT here but at the same time the amount of mental breakdowns i’ve had from financial strain and beating myself up are just incredibleee lmao ….. you also v likely will have to overwork … especially in my major at least. there’s assignments that i’m rly not joking i spend 40 hours per week on, so that my profs won’t yell at me. and there have been some finals weeks where i slept like 20 minutes per night for like 3-4 days in a row. i have a friend in my major who gets A’s in all her classes who said during finals one semester she’d wake up in the morning and have to throw up and then go straight to class bc she was so overworked??i mean i’m rly not trying to scare you but no one told me how things would be before i came here so i feel like i should tell ppl now that i know what it’s like …… you rly have to work that much sometimes just so that you can get a grade above C (it’s not like that for every class but some classes are v intense)

I FEEL LIKE I’M SAYING A LOT OF NEGATIVES AND MAKING IT SOUND LIKE HELL LMAO but i mean …. i!!! like i rly dO love how much i’ve learned here and all the amazing experiences i’ve had (like near epiphanies lmao) and i’ve met many priceless friends as well ….. everyday is still good for me and i’m grateful that i’m so privileged i can study here. but just pls be aware of some of the cons since not everything is sunshine and rainbows here

#Anonymous

9 notes · View notes