#like the notion that masculinity is something women do not understand

[molsno]

I find the notion that trans women's oppression is at least partially based on a systemic hatred of men and masculinity troubling for many reasons. the biggest reason, of course, is that misandry is not real no matter how you attempt to label or define it. but moreover, it's just flat out wrong.

it is true that many forms of transmisogyny consist of some form of misgendering. however, it's ludicrous to call it misandry just because the underlying implication is that the trans woman in question is really a man; if that were the case, then cis men and trans men would be subjected to the same oppression on the basis of their manhood. but no, the misgendering is always simply a cover for something else - something far more insidious.

if a trans woman is loud, outspoken, and argumentative, then she's accused of demonstrating her "male socialization". she's told she's guilty of "mansplaining". when a trans woman is jealous or clingy with her partner, she's accused of expressing "male entitlement" over them, and being "manipulative" and "controlling". when a trans woman is attracted to cis women and talks about her desire to have sex with them, she's accused of being "creepy" or "predatory". she's told she's being "misogynistic" by reducing women (cis women, or "real women" as is usually the implication in this scenario) to just their bodies and valuing them only for their worthiness as sex objects.

if you think about it, though, these arguments mirror regular old misogyny pretty closely! if a cis woman is loud, outspoken, and argumentative, then she's a "bitch", she's "bossy". she's told she needs to "know her place". when a cis woman is jealous or clingy with her partner, she's accused of being "crazy" and "obsessive". and indeed, when a cis woman is attracted to other cis women and talks about her desire to have sex with them, she's accused of being "creepy" or "predatory"!

so why, then, if these statements are really a form of misogyny, does the justification for them hinge on trans women's supposed "maleness"? the answer is simple: biological essentialism. this ideology, in no small part popularized in feminist and queer spaces by terfs, states that "biological males" are predestined by their very nature to prey on and dominate "biological females". and since trans women are "biologically male", it follows then that they are wolves in sheeps' clothing. any presumption of innocence or harmlessness is discarded, and trans women's actions are painted in a new light.

if you accuse a trans woman of being an infiltrator in women's spaces due to her supposed "maleness", then what you've effectively accomplished is the subjugation of an underclass of women. trans women are not considered deserving of respect, compassion, or dignity whatsoever. if you paint a trans woman as a threat to other women, then you can drum up as much outrage and violence against her as you want, and she will have no recourse. and the simple fact of the matter is that the easiest way to do this is to draw attention to her alleged proximity to "maleness".

perhaps you might be thinking that proximity to maleness being used as a justification for oppression implies that misandry actually is real. after all, aren't women of color, butch lesbians, and even black men also subjected to violence due to their perceived proximity to "maleness"?

I understand how one could make that mistake, but that notion fails to engage with the actual material reasoning behind the forms of oppression these groups face: they pose a threat to the cishet white man's absolute dominion. the root of these disparate but related forms of oppression, biological essentialism, is inherently a white supremacist, misogynistic, and conservative ideology. its purpose, much like its ilk, eugenics and phrenology, is to establish a hierarchy in society that places cishet white christian men at the top by asserting that they are inherently biologically superior to all others in every respect.

if you observe people's behavior, you can see that this ideology permeates almost every level of society. cishet white men are elevated to positions of authority without question; their motives are never scrutinized and criticized in the same way that trans women's are, or any of the other oppressed groups mentioned above. if one of these men is misogynistic, if he views women as mere sex objects to be controlled to suit his liking, he will not be punished for it; he is exercising the right that has been given to him by the society people like him have created through centuries of colonialism. even in queer spaces, men are regularly coddled, their misdeeds forgiven or excused for no real reason other than that many queer people have not questioned the assumptions they've internalized.

the notion that trans women are oppressed by misandry is laughable, really, because we are constantly made aware that, due to biological essentialism, TME people will always trust a man over us.

#my writing #transmisogyny

[madara-fate]

I don't want to be a asshole or anything, but I really struggle with the notion of a 'well-written female character' that people have been shoving down our throats in recent years. Nowadays, for a female character to be considered 'well-written,' she must either primarily fit the 'badass femme fatale' archetype - almost invulnerable with its derivatives - or be a 'masculine woman’.

 Oddly enough, these are also the two most popular types of women in fiction right now (lol).

As much as I understand why people want women to have more diverse roles and not be reduced to the 'dumb blonde,' the 'damsel in distress,' or the 'walking love interest' as before, I also think that what we have today does just as much of a disservice to female representation as years ago.

How is what we are doing today inherently different from before?

We have taken female characters out of the tropes that imprisoned them... to fundamentally lock them into other stereotypical tropes that we refuse to let them out of again. These types of characters are often praised as examples of quality female representation, but is that really the case?

I'm not saying they are bad, far from it. But that shouldn't be all there is, that's my complaint about it. And people should also stop passing this off as 'representation' when most of these characters are far too unrealistic to even come close. They are amazing, yes, they are icons to admire because they are truly impressive for the most part, but I challenge anyone to say they are relatable. And that's fine because they're not even supposed to be in the first place. 

Fiction should have these types of women because it's fiction, but it should also make room for other types of female characters. The diversity of roles for women is terribly limited, and honestly, I can't really say it's entirely the media's fault.

Is it really too much to ask for diversified female characters?

I would like to see more weak women because it is not necessary to be traditionally strong to be valid. I want to see crazy people, psychopaths, eccentrics, but also sweet, shy, calm characters. I would like to see more women make mistakes without needing a tragic past to justify them.

I would also like to see more realistic women. There are some, yes, but not many, and strangely these types of characters tend to be labeled as poorly written and then completely rewritten by their fandom to fit their idealized version of what a 'good female character' should be.

The most uncomfortably accurate examples I have in mind are Mabel Pines and Sakura Haruno; just look at the hate these two receive to realize that a majority of the public can't handle female characters whose behavior is more human than extraordinary.

The funny thing about this is that people don't even realize that with this kind of behavior, they are perpetuating stereotypes that ironically they are trying to break. Some realize it but prefer to absolve themselves by blaming the media/authors they accuse of poorly writing women, largely in order to justify the disgusting and relatively hypocritical behaviors they have towards certain female characters.

This is particularly evident in Sakura's case; the hatred people have for her is just pathological at this point, further exacerbated by mass effect. Many fans blame Kishimoto for « writing her poorly », which they believe is their main issue with her character. The fact is when you look at the situation as a whole, this excuse doesn't even hold up. The things she is condemned for cannot be solely attributed to her; some of the other most popular characters in this franchise exhibit the same characteristics and sometimes even worse than anything she has shown before, but for some reason, she is the only character in this series who is so vilified because of it. When it comes to others, most fans make excuses for them, except you can't judge a character for something they did while turning a blind eye or even worse, praise another for doing exactly the same thing; it's a blatant double standard and it's not objective at all.

Her character isn't perfect; she is horribly underused and since she occupies the position of tritagonist aka heroine, it stands out more than others who, although also sidelined, are only supporting characters. That's the main problem I've always had with Kishimoto's writing about her, but apart from that, I really can't find much bad to say about her character. Again, I'm not saying she's perfect; far from it, but that's what makes her interesting. Sakura's role was to bring a more human side to this series; that was her job. She was never supposed to be like her teammates; Sakura was meant to stay on a human scale because she was created for that. 

That's the beauty of her character. 

Changing that is changing her very essence, what makes her who she is, and that's what this fandom does; they rewrite her by using the excuse of 'poor writing' as a kind of defensive flag and eliminate from her character everything that makes her, well... her.

Mabel, (a character from the show Gravity Falls) is another case of a rather strange fandom. She is literally 13 years old and yet her character at the time (and even today) has sparked such waves of hatred that those who hadn't watched the show could believe she's the she-Devil incarnate when she... just acts her age. She is, however, an adorable child. She is eccentric, good-hearted, quite prone to blunders, but that's also what makes her endearing. However, the way some talk about her is just... revolting. 

To hear them, being a pre-adolescent in fiction and behaving as such is a crime. Like Sakura, she also suffers from a rewriting of her character - although it doesn't manifest in the same way - and from what I've noticed, sometimes it's not even done consciously.

Another thing I've noticed is that they are not the only type of characters to benefit from this treatment from fandoms. Even female characters meeting their 'writing standards' sometimes have these problems. Just look at Diana (Wonder Woman), and how some - many - of her fans have transformed her. She went from the epitome of feminism, meaning a woman treating everyone as equals regardless of their gender, believing in justice and doing her best to uphold it into a lame and arrogant fanon version of herself who hates men, thinks she's superior to them, believes girls are the best thing in the world and no man can surpass them - apparently their version of feminism.

People need to understand that just as we can't please everyone, not all characters can suit everyone's tastes, which is normal. They should focus more on what suits them and ignore what doesn't instead of trying to adapt characters that are not their cup of tea to their personal tastes.

 Really. 

This crap is why there are so many fanon versions of 'strong and feminist women,' not because their canon version is 'poorly written,' but because they are not written according to their tastes.

 On the rare occasions when we actually have unusual characters, different from what we're used to seeing, the fandom takes it upon itself to ruin that by transforming them, thus ruining their characterization.

God only knows how much I have my own issues with the current film industry - and some authors in general - but I acknowledge that they at least make the effort to try in certain aspects, whereas fans don't even try. They tend to blame everyone but themselves because they refuse to accept that they are also part of the problem. So yes, the media is certainly crappy in some ways, but the fandom with their obsession with wanting to "fix" every work or character that doesn't suit them, makes it even crappier. They standardize everyone.

I it's all well and good to reblog/like posts criticizing fandom spaces and their treatment of fictional characters, but maybe it would be wise to actually apply what you claim to agree with, and not selectively.

This is a subject I didn't really intend to address on Tumblr, but I couldn't help myself after coming across one of your requests where you were talking about the writing of female characters in Naruto. As someone who is currently writing a thesis on media-fandom dynamics, this syndrome of 'good/bad writing' is one of the points I address, which prompted me to express my opinion.

Anyway, I hope I'm not bothering you with my overly long essay; I tend to talk way too much when a subject is close to my heart.

I'll be honest - When I first saw the length of your ask, I was just like "holy shit", and my first thought was to just read it and give a generic "yeah I agree" answer at the end. However, this was a very good read and I pretty much agreed with most, if not all of what you said. So it ultimately made me want to give my thoughts on a few specific things you mentioned which resonated with me.

I don't want to be a asshole or anything, but I really struggle with the notion of a 'well-written female character' that people have been shoving down our throats in recent years. Nowadays, for a female character to be considered 'well-written,' she must either primarily fit the 'badass femme fatale' archetype - almost invulnerable with its derivatives - or be a 'masculine woman’.

Yep, I made a similar point during this post where I discussed a YouTube video about how Nobara (JJK) is apparently what Sakura (Naruto) was supposed to be, and I went into detail about how utterly flawed their reasoning was.

As much as I understand why people want women to have more diverse roles and not be reduced to the 'dumb blonde,' the 'damsel in distress,' or the 'walking love interest' as before, I also think that what we have today does just as much of a disservice to female representation as years ago. How is what we are doing today inherently different from before? We have taken female characters out of the tropes that imprisoned them... to fundamentally lock them into other stereotypical tropes that we refuse to let them out of again. These types of characters are often praised as examples of quality female representation, but is that really the case?

Yep, the feminist, boss babe archetype is dominating now. It's even seeped into the Marvel movies, which is a component of why they have tanked recently. It hasn't improved their character depth, and it often just seems as though the writers these days care more about racial diversity, LGBTQ representation, and their skewed idea of "female empowerment", rather than creating plots which are actually engaging and make sense.

I would like to see more weak women because it is not necessary to be traditionally strong to be valid. I want to see crazy people, psychopaths, eccentrics, but also sweet, shy, calm characters. I would like to see more women make mistakes without needing a tragic past to justify them. I would also like to see more realistic women. There are some, yes, but not many, and strangely these types of characters tend to be labeled as poorly written and then completely rewritten by their fandom to fit their idealized version of what a 'good female character' should be.

This part above resonated with me a lot.

The most uncomfortably accurate examples I have in mind are Mabel Pines and Sakura Haruno; just look at the hate these two receive to realize that a majority of the public can't handle female characters whose behavior is more human than extraordinary. The funny thing about this is that people don't even realize that with this kind of behavior, they are perpetuating stereotypes that ironically they are trying to break. Some realize it but prefer to absolve themselves by blaming the media/authors they accuse of poorly writing women, largely in order to justify the disgusting and relatively hypocritical behaviors they have towards certain female characters.

This is a very interesting point.

This is particularly evident in Sakura's case; the hatred people have for her is just pathological at this point, further exacerbated by mass effect. Many fans blame Kishimoto for « writing her poorly », which they believe is their main issue with her character. The fact is when you look at the situation as a whole, this excuse doesn't even hold up. The things she is condemned for cannot be solely attributed to her; some of the other most popular characters in this franchise exhibit the same characteristics and sometimes even worse than anything she has shown before, but for some reason, she is the only character in this series who is so vilified because of it. When it comes to others, most fans make excuses for them, except you can't judge a character for something they did while turning a blind eye or even worse, praise another for doing exactly the same thing; it's a blatant double standard and it's not objective at all.

💯

It's as I always say - Sakura and or/SasuSaku are the exceptions to everything.

That is the reason why I even created this meme for myself, because I found myself saying this so often in response to Sakura being the only one getting hated on for things other characters have exhibited.

Her character isn't perfect; she is horribly underused and since she occupies the position of tritagonist aka heroine, it stands out more than others who, although also sidelined, are only supporting characters. That's the main problem I've always had with Kishimoto's writing about her, but apart from that, I really can't find much bad to say about her character. Again, I'm not saying she's perfect; far from it, but that's what makes her interesting. Sakura's role was to bring a more human side to this series; that was her job. She was never supposed to be like her teammates; Sakura was meant to stay on a human scale because she was created for that.  That's the beauty of her character.

Changing that is changing her very essence, what makes her who she is, and that's what this fandom does; they rewrite her by using the excuse of 'poor writing' as a kind of defensive flag and eliminate from her character everything that makes her, well... her.

That reminds me of how often I see people describe themselves as Sakura fans, and then they proceed to criticise the fuck out of her (mainly due to her relationship with Sasuke and how it goes against all of their "boss babe" ideals of how apparently strong and independent women don't need no man!). And so I'm just like, how are you a Sakura fan then? If they had their way with Sakura's character, she would be unrecognisable to her canon self. They don't like Sakura, they like the idea of what they wanted her to be.

Mabel, (a character from the show Gravity Falls) is another case of a rather strange fandom. She is literally 13 years old and yet her character at the time (and even today) has sparked such waves of hatred that those who hadn't watched the show could believe she's the she-Devil incarnate when she... just acts her age. She is, however, an adorable child. She is eccentric, good-hearted, quite prone to blunders, but that's also what makes her endearing. However, the way some talk about her is just... revolting.

I don't watch Gravity Falls so I know nothing about the situation, but I can imagine what you're talking about.

Another thing I've noticed is that they are not the only type of characters to benefit from this treatment from fandoms. Even female characters meeting their 'writing standards' sometimes have these problems. Just look at Diana (Wonder Woman), and how some - many - of her fans have transformed her. She went from the epitome of feminism, meaning a woman treating everyone as equals regardless of their gender, believing in justice and doing her best to uphold it into a lame and arrogant fanon version of herself who hates men, thinks she's superior to them, believes girls are the best thing in the world and no man can surpass them - apparently their version of feminism.

Yep, that's essentially what recent feminism has devolved into, there's a lot of misandry involved in modern feminism, which is a shame because that doesn't align with its core principles.

This is a subject I didn't really intend to address on Tumblr, but I couldn't help myself after coming across one of your requests where you were talking about the writing of female characters in Naruto. As someone who is currently writing a thesis on media-fandom dynamics, this syndrome of 'good/bad writing' is one of the points I address, which prompted me to express my opinion. Anyway, I hope I'm not bothering you with my overly long essay; I tend to talk way too much when a subject is close to my heart.

The manner in which you articulated your opinions was very good, so I'm not surprised you're writing a thesis on this, I can tell how passionate you are about this topic. If you haven't done so already, you should consider starting your own blog or something similar as a hobby, I can tell you'd excel if the above is anything to go by 👍

#Sakura Haruno #Mabel Pines

[our-nonbinary-experience]

I feel that my view of my gender has surpassed mere notions of masculinity, femininity, or neutrality. It is truly me and myself, with my ambitions, desires, and personality baked into it. Despite this, I don't really feel like calling it a xenogender. I feel that it is something else entirely. It is simply the view of myself… or something like that. Perhaps an "ego-gender" which I guess technically counts as a xenogender but whatever.

The neoliberal status quo is skilled in commodifying and integrating anything into itself, so long as it's visible, quantifiable, et cetera. I'm not just a half-man half-woman androgyne, I'm a Deleuzoguattarian, super-insurrectionist, ass-blasting, fem-of-center scrunkly whose ambitions and actions consist of everything and nothing all at once. My heart's big, big like the women I'm into, and for every elegant minute spent in front of the mirror brushing my hair and painting my nails, I spend another minute smashing skulls and shins with my favorite baseball bat, eschewing all finesse in favor of hardcore blunt force.

Point being…

Even if you're like me and you don't feel that your gender falls under the umbrella of "xenogender," I encourage y'all to think the way that I do. Incorporate more of your thoughts, beliefs, life experiences, et cetera, into your gender. Make yourself not necessarily invisible, but rather incomprehensible.

Mr. Relatable CEO can't have the same gender as you when you think like me. Mr. Relatable CEO can't sell your own gender to you when you're the only one who really knows and understands it. Regardless of personal politics, I think we can all agree that Pink Neoliberal Capitalism is inherently disingenuous at its core, which is why I am sharing this little story. I want to provide people with a way to at least resist their commodification a little bit.

Plus I just like sharing my thoughts, as you can see from the massive wall of text I just typed. Adieu~!

Thanks for sharing!

#our nonbinary experience #nonbinary #enby #nb asks #long post

[sophie-st-2002]

Fairy Tale Musicals: The Sound of Music (1965), directed by Robert Wise

Read My Fair Lady: A Voice for Change by Marcie Ray before reading the post to understand the full analysis and references brought up.

Subversion of the Pygmalion Narrative

The romantic relationship between Maria and Georg von Trapp in The Sound of Music has the potential to follow a Pygmalion-esque narrative due to their age, class, and wealth disparities. However, the film subverts this potential by creating a dynamic that appears equal and aspirational. While the real Georg and Maria von Trapp had a significant age gap, the film adaptation lessens this gap, with Christopher Plummer and Julie Andrews portraying characters who are both young-looking and attractive, possibly to make the romance more relatable and appealing to audiences.

The real Maria and Georg von Trapp (left) and the screen version (right).

This adjustment not only mitigates the implications of their differences in status and age but also portrays their relationship as more balanced and mutual. Dreamy dance sequences and romantic songs like "Something Good" further sell the idea of a loving partnership, blurring the lines between employer and employee. Unlike the traditional Pygmalion narrative, Georg is not portrayed as a woman-hating or cold-hearted figure; instead, his facade quickly melts away due to Maria's kindness and warmth.

Something Good

Similarly, Maria is not depicted as a helpless or submissive character. While she may start as a governess, her journey throughout the film reveals her independence, resilience, and agency. She challenges Georg's views and traditions, most dramatically in the Rowboat scene starting at (01:13:04), ultimately becoming his partner in both love and life.

This departure from the traditional Pygmalion narrative reinforces the film's themes of empowerment, self-discovery, and the possibility of love transcending societal barriers.

In what ways does the film mark class through music, lighting, costuming, and performance?

The Sound of Music subtly conveys class distinctions through music, lighting, costuming, and performance. Maria's boyish innocence contrasts with the refined sophistication of higher social classes, symbolizing a clash of worlds.

What differences do you see in how these characters are dressed?

The von Trapp house's elegant design reflects elevated status, while interior scenes reveal internal struggles despite outward wealth. The contrast between vibrant outdoor lighting and dim interiors underscores themes of freedom versus constraint.

Overall, these elements enrich the narrative with depth and complexity, subtly exploring social dynamics.

A little photo gallery of my trip to Salzburg and filming locations for the film

Femininity and Masculinity

The Sound of Music reimagines notions of femininity and masculinity by juxtaposing Maria's experience in the convent, where she has a supportive community of women, against the narratives of Echo and Narcissus, Eliza and Higgins, and Pygmalion, where women lack female support systems. Maria's journey begins in the convent, challenging traditional patriarchal hierarchies and presenting a world where women support each other. This contrasts sharply with the narratives of Echo, Eliza, and Pygmalion, where women are at the mercy of men for validation or advancement, lacking the camaraderie and solidarity found in the convent.

Maria and Georg's relationship further subverts traditional gender dynamics, as it is characterized by mutual respect and understanding rather than power imbalances. Maria's influence softens Georg's authoritarian demeanor, showcasing the transformative power of femininity. However, her eventual marriage to Georg, portrayed as a means of reforming her resistance to authority, suggests a return to conventional gender norms.

Despite Maria's initial independence, the film ultimately presents marriage and motherhood as the epitome of happiness for women. Maria's song to Liesel reinforces this idea, 

“Gone are you old ideas of life. The old ideas grow dim. Lo and behold you’re someone's wife and you belong to him.” (02:26:57)

suggesting that belonging to her husband is preferable to her old, free-spirited ideals. This portrayal can be interpreted as a form of "baby" feminism, where female agency is toyed with but ultimately subordinated to traditional gender roles.

Racial Subtexts within the Film

The film The Sound of Music lacks explicit racial subtexts, as all characters are white and assumed to be of Austrian or German descent. Despite the main antagonist being Nazi Germany, there is no discussion of the persecution faced by Jewish people, Roma people, or other targeted groups. The film focuses on the von Trapp family as victims of Nazism, portraying their escape with little resistance. However, this narrative minimizes the broader reality of the atrocities inflicted on targeted individuals under the Nazi regime.

By centering whiteness as the normative experience within cultural narratives, the film fosters the idea that idyllic stories like those depicted are only available to white characters, reflecting the limitations of representation within the context of the film's setting and time period.

Character Transformations: Then vs. Now

Character transformations in The Sound of Music held significance both during its release in 1964 and for contemporary audiences. The 1960s, characterized by the rise of second-wave feminism and societal upheaval, audiences looked for positive narratives of personal growth as a source of hope and empowerment. Maria's evolution and ability to be both a free-spirited novice to a nurturing mother resonated with viewers seeking optimism and agency during turbulent times. It gave women watching the movie a feeling that they could be outspoken and still have a thriving personal life. 

However, both then and now, the film has faced criticism for its perceived simplicity, overly sweet tone, and adherence to traditional gender roles. While audiences appreciate its charm and musical numbers, some find its romanticized depiction of history and gender dynamics outdated or problematic in light of feminist and contemporary critiques. Maria is still a refreshing, joyful, and quietly rebellious figure to contemporary audiences but her lack of complexity, and honestly it is all characters who lack of moral or personal complexity, leaves something to be desired. The film is still a classic and just as enjoyable to watch again and again.

DISCUSSION QUESTION

1. How do the voices in The Sound of Music shape how we see men and women in the film? Julie Andrews sings her own songs, but Christopher Plummer's singing is dubbed. Think about what we learned from Ray about how voices reflect power in My Fair Lady.

2. In discussing Fairy Tale Musicals, what aspects of The Sound of Music qualify it for this category, especially considering the absence of a Cinderella moment seen in other musicals like My Fair Lady or Anastasia? Can you identify a particular theme, moment, or narrative within The Sound of Music that distinguishes it in this genre?

3. What is the role of fairy tale narratives like The Sound of Music in representing historical events or broader societal issues? How do these stories balance their feel-good simplicity with the responsibility to engage with more complex realities?

4. How does Maria's character development in The Sound of Music, transitioning from a spirited and independent governess to a wife and mother, intersect with feminist ideals and traditional gender roles?

#@theuncannyprofessoro #oxyfilmmusical #panelpresentation #the sound of music #Youtube

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

The New Pride | Andrew Doyle & Peter Boghossian

“Is the trans movement anti-gay?” In honor of Pride Month, Peter Boghossian begins this conversation with an investigation into the increasing rejection of trans ideology by the LGB (without the T) community. Peter’s guest is Andrew Doyle, acclaimed author, comedian, and host of Free Speech Nation on GB News. Here’s an important piece of information to better understand this conversation: Andrew is gay. Andrew explains the impact the trans movement has inflicted on gay people over the last several years, including the rise of abusive language toward gays he “hasn’t seen since the ‘80s." Lesbians are labelled “sexual racists” or “transphobes” if they reject trans women as partners. (The same is true for gay men rejecting trans men—that is, women—but the abuse is not as pervasive.) Peter and Andrew discuss the incoherence of gender ideology, the nature of sexual attraction, how predators manipulate gender self-ID, and the sterilization of gay youth. Also discussed: Bad woke art, sensitivity readers, primary education, censorship, standpoint epistemology, critical thinking, the long history of human fantasy and folly, and more. Andrew Doyle is a journalist, playwright, satirist, and comedian. He is the creator of Titania McGrath, “a radical intersectionalist poet committed to feminism, social justice and armed peaceful protest.” He is the host of Free Speech Nation and an unabashed lover of art and literature.

--

Peter Boghossian: Is the trans movement anti-gay?

Andrew Doyle: In its current manifestation, yes. So, not trans people are anti-gay, but the predominant cheerleaders of trans activism in its most extreme form are most definitely anti-gay. Because the movement at present -- and it wasn't always this way, only over the past five, six years -- is now completely underpinned by the notion of gender identity ideology.

The concept of gender identity is a difficult one because no one ever defines it, least of all the activists themselves. The best we can come to is a kind of feeling, a kind of sense, of who you are and a sense of an authentic self.

Helen Joyce in her book "Trans: When Ideology Meets Reality," describes it as something akin to a sexed soul, which actually is very close to what certain trans activists have described it as. So, because it's not really pinned down definitionally, what we get, the most useful way of thinking about it is is that sense of self within, which is gendered. And whenever you try to get people to define it, they will say things like "I am a woman because I feel like a woman," which leads to a subsequent question, "but what is a woman," and then it's "whoever defines themselves as a woman," so we're in the realm of identity politics.

But gender identity ideology effectively is about ensuring that gender, as in the concepts of masculinity and femininity and stereotypical behaviors of what it means to be male and female, that those things are prioritized over biological sex.

And you even have, of course, activists again on the extreme side, who now pushed for the idea that not only is gender socially constructed, as in boys wear blue and girls wear pink - well there's nothing innate about that, is there - so there are certain modes of behavior that men and women have that are certainly socially constructed, there are others that are rooted in biology. But there's a great deal that is to do with social constructs.

But some activists will now say that even biological sex itself is a social construct. There's no really authentic way -- they've been saying that for many decades by the way, you've had voices in academia saying that for a long long time, even when I was at University, so there's nothing new about that; it's not true and it's never been true -- but it's now taken hold in society as though it is.

Peter: So, two things. One throwaway: one of the fake papers that Jim and I wrote, we titled it "Pre-epistemic Transgenderism." Since gender is a social construct and sex is a social construct -- this is so the argument goes -- no one ever truly knows their gender until after they've transitioned right, if we just remove the genitals from everybody, or if we just allow them to -- I can't remember what age it was -- you know at 12, they would transition, then they would know if that was a good thing or not. Yeah, pre-epistemic transgenderism.

[..]

So, what is anti-gay?

Andrew: Right, so that's the -- you asked whether it was anti-gay and I didn't really explain that.

So, the reason why it's anti-gay is because gay rights were secured through the recognition that there were always in any given society and culture a minority of individuals who are innately attracted to members of their own sex.

The debate about how that develops within individuals, that's a bigger debate and it's nothing to do with this. The fact is that there are a minority of people who are instinctively, innately attracted to members of their own sex. And that gay rights were secured by getting people to understand that.

Now you have groups like Stonewall, who's the UK's foremost LGBT charity, redefining the word homosexual to mean "same gender attracted."

That's not what it means. It's not homogendered, it's homosexual. It's people being attracted -- so a gay man isn't attracted to someone who identifies as a man they're attracted to men. Similarly, lesbians are attracted...

Peter: So, I just need to disambiguate. They're attracted to, and I'm trying to think about -- there's just no other way to say this without being vulgar. So, I'll put it on myself -- heterosexual is attracted to a natal woman or a person with a vagina.

Andrew: Right.

Peter: A gay person is attracted to a man that is in a natal, a biological -- someone born biologically male with a penis.

Andrew: Quite. But you see, extreme trans activists will twist that and say well, why are you obsessed with genitals, and they will then say that genital preferences are transphobic. But of course, you're not solely attracted to genitals. That is of course a part of the whole, part of everything that you are attracted to.

The idea that you're attracted to how someone perceives themselves doesn't make any sense whatsoever in terms of sexual attraction.

And it gets worse than that. Because Stonewall not only redefine the term, but then you have the CEO of Stonewall, Nancy Kelley, comparing lesbians who don't want to date people with penises, comparing them to "sexual racists," saying that if you're writing off whole groups of people, a whole demographic out of your dating pool, you want to examine your prejudice and you want to examine where that bigotry came from.

But a lesbian writing off men from a dating pool isn't bigotry, it's homosexuality. So it's very, very serious when effectively the whole precept of of homosexual rights has been drawn away, taken away.

And you've even got trans activists now who talk about how lesbians who don't want to sleep with someone who identifies as a woman but has a penis, that they are suffering from some kind of trauma. That's the phrase they use. They say this is an example of trauma.

And of course that's -- I mean the WHO perceived homosexuality to be a mental disorder as late as 1990. That's what they used to say to gay people, you're suffering from some kind of trauma , you're suffering some from some kind of mental illness. You're a gay boy so all you need to do is find the right girl. Or vice versa. And that's exactly what trans activists are saying.

Now there was a website called Woke Homophobia which collected thousands and thousands and thousands of screenshots of trans activists attacking gay people. The website has since been deleted, which is a shame that no one archived it, because people don't believe this. But there are, it's not just one or two people on Twitter. There are thousands of these people using the kind of language that I haven't seen since the 80s about gay people, talking about faggots, about how AIDS was a good thing, gay people should die.

I did a tweet the other day which was, it was a monologue that I did on my show about the pride flag. [..] And I put out a thing about how pride no longer represents gay people.

I got attacked from both the right and the left, or at least people who identify as right and left, I should qualify. I got attacked by outright right-wing reactionary homophobes calling me a sodomite, you know, saying that it is degraded you know, degeneracy is the word they like to use they also use. Like to spell the word "return" with a V instead of a u to invoke in Roman numerals this idea of this Grand Roman tradition. Believe me, if they went back to Rome they might not like it. But anyway, so those idiots you know you just block and move on.

And then similarly, I was being attacked by gender ideologues who identify as being on the left. Their responses were slightly worse because I had two of them saying I should kill myself, calling me a cis gay, saying cis gays like this should kill themselves, and another one called me a faggot, and that was coming from someone who says they're left wing.

Now that -- I've never heard that kind of language, not since I was a small child. It's sort of been out of our society for about 15 years that kind of stuff. But now that kind of virulent homophobia is coming from trans activists.

Peter: So, why are they calling you, what, why are they, why?

Andrew: Because they fundamentally believe that to be gay is transphobic. They don't say it that way, but what they are saying is that if you are writing off -- if I as a male and writing off women who identify as men okay then I am transphobic.

#Andrew Doyle #Peter Boghossian #gender ideology #queer theory #woke homophobia #gay conversion #gay conversion therapy #anti gay #homophobia 2.0 #homophobia #pride month #pride flag #same sex attraction #same sex attracted #religion is a mental illness

[tiny-katara]

Oh my god that post with the "Aang looks nothing like Katara's canon love interests" - he IS her canon love interest! Jesus Christ.

My type is girls with dark curly hair, but I've been in love with several blondes. It happens. Katara saying that her fantasy guy is tall and handsome is not a contradiction to her liking Aang, not in the slightest.

I don't think you all want to fuck Zuko. I think you just like the ship dynamic of a tall, strong, fire bending, short-tempered man and a smaller, beautiful, kind but feisty women. And yes I do believe that if Aang looked like Zuko and acted a bit more traditionally masculine, you'd totally ship Kataang instead.

I really don't mean to be rude but did you read that post? I said that the characters Katara expresses explicit interest in look nothing like her canon love interest lol. I know you're going to say "well look at the headband! she obviously liked him then!" or the forced ending, but I just have to say that it's pretty much irrelevant.

Kata*ng is built on a writing trope in which one character explicitly expresses romantic interest while the other is specifically written to ambiguous about their feelings. This is traditionally associated with a "superhero" type story as in the end the girl comes around and gets with the man who saved the world.

Katara is literally designed within the show to not express explicit interest in Aang until the very last moment for ~drama~ so when I say that Aang looks nothing like the people she shows explicit interest in, that is what I mean.

This leads into the section of my post that you are so vehemently distressed with. Here's a friendly little reminder of it for you:

Now, just to reiterate again with that screenshot, I say that the characters Katara expresses explicit interest in look nothing like her canon love interest. You can rest easy knowing that I am aware of how the show ended.

And sure, you can be in love with people who don't fit your physical preferences. I'm not going to say you can't and I didn't say that you couldn't in the previous post either. I'm simply pointing out that it's kind of weird considering there was another character who fit her preferences pretty perfectly right there, but this is all just speculation really. It makes sense to me and if it doesn't to you, that's fine. We don't need to agree.

I do enjoy the dynamic, although I would describe it a bit differently than you have. I enjoy the dynamic of two people who can fall in love against all odds and see each other as equals in a world that was torn apart by a superiority complex. I enjoy seeing two people who are similar enough to understand each other, but different enough to complement each other. That is the Zutara dynamic. That's why we love it.

I must express my distaste for your notion that I think Aang is not as ideal of a partner for Katara simply because he is less traditionally masculine than Zuko is. I love that Aang is comfortable with who he is. I hope that someday all men can feel comfortable with their traditionally masculine and traditionally feminine traits in the same way that Aang does.

Lastly, I've already said my issue with Kata*ng has absolutely nothing to do with looks. Stop saying this. It's a dumb argument. I don't like Kata*ng because Aang does not respect Katara's boundaries. That is something I cannot support in good conscious. It's disgusting.

⚠️Slight discussion of what I would consider sexual assault below!!! I'll leave another little message to indicate the end of the discussion⚠️

Aang forces himself on Katara on screen. There is absolutely no excuse for this decision. It is a horrible example for anyone watching. It violates Katara's boundaries. She is visibly upset and verbally angry with him for doing it. Aang does not even have to apologize to her or face any consequences for it. I am so angry about that and I will never stop being angry about it. I am going to move on because I am physically shaking with rage, but I will state very clearly that if Zuko ever violated Katara in that same way, I would be furious and I would not ship Zutara.

⚠️Potential sexual assault discussion is over⚠️

I have even more reasons to dislike Kata*ng on a personal level, which I mentioned in that same post you're talking about. It just proves to me that you either did not read the post in its entirety due to your blind rage or completely discounted my personal experiences. If you did the latter, it's extremely frustrating.

Personal experience is just that, personal. If someone says something makes them uncomfortable based on things that have happened in their life, take it seriously. That goes for people who ship Zutara too. Neither of us should be dismissive of feelings we do not fully understand. If Zutara makes you uncomfortable based on your life, that's completely valid. If Kata*ng makes you uncomfortable based on your life that's completely valid. It's your life.

Now anon, I suggest reading things a little more carefully to avoid confusion in the future as well as blocking tags you find irritating or distressing.

#anti kataang #anti bryke #zutara #why are the antis wasting their time on me #go write yourselves kataang fanfiction #i think that would make you a lot happier than getting angry at an anti-kataanger you can block #i'm sure you guys can pull something you like together #i believe in you

[thatonebirdwrites]

Bird's Rants: About being Authentic

Lately, I've been anxious about sharing my experiences as a nonbinary disabled queer person. Partly because I don't fit people's preconceived notions of what that looks like.

i keep being told to be authentic, to own my identity, but I already "own" my identity (I don't particularly like the language of that as I do not own but I am my identity, but I get told it far too often). However, this imperative to "be authentic" fails to take in the risks and the fact that spaces for people like me to be authentic rarely exist.

A lot of what I write is either queer women stories or nonbinary queer people stories, where there is romance or at least close intimate friendships within the larger plot lines. Writing these can be scary sometimes, especially if I include trans people as characters, because of the biases (sometimes unconscious, sometimes not) that people have against these types of characters.

In our society, there's this idea that the character is only this one identity and thus the story is unrelatable (oh how many times I hear that, ugh), but that is a falsehood that deems the writings of people like me as less than a non-trans and non-queer person (who may even write LGBTQIA characters).

I have to navigate this landmine of a labyrinth daily to determine where I can be authentic, where can I post my works, where can I interact with readers, and if I dare to share aspects of my complex identity because I'm not just a disabled, nonbinary AFAB, queer individual, but so much more than that too.

Even within our LGBTQIA communities, we still struggle with being truly accepting and supportive complex identities, especially identities that intersect with race and ethnicity.

It is possible to create an accessible space for people to truly be their authentic selves, but part of doing that requires us to acknowledge where we actually are currently. It requires us to be willing to be open to being wrong sometimes, to holding ourselves accountable if we cause harm, to be willing to listen, to be willing to learn, to be willing to grow and do better.

It's never easy, but it is doable. It's also a lifelong journey, but it's one we can, indeed, walk together. Part of that is sharing and reading and experiencing with one another our creative works to help us understand, learn, and be better.

I think about this a lot, honestly.

So on Trans Day of Remembrance this 20th of November, I curled up in my bed and spent the day crying to get these complex emotions out of my system.

Living in this current era where there's so much transphobic laws appearing in the USA states (where I live) but also in many other countries? How the deaths of trans people continue to go up? How death threats leveled against us continue to go up? How harm to us continues to increase? How accessing care is getting more and more difficult to the point of being nearly impossible in some locations?

It's utterly terrifying to be trans.

And for me, a person who straddles multiple gender categories? Where if I am wearing my mask, I get carded as a woman, but if I take off the mask, then I get angry diatribes about 'what are you' or vicious barbs and assumptions about my gender. Where people waffle between ma'am and sir. Due to the pandemic, I don't take off my mask in public due to my poor immune system and need to keep myself safe. But this puts me in danger in other ways because if I'm perceived as a disabled queer woman, I find I can't truly predict if an encounter will be somewhat safe or if it will cause me harm.

Even saying something as simple as "no" or "I can't" or "please don't" could end up with me being harmed, because of our antagonistic our society is toward people perceived as women, gender-noncomforming, and those whose race or (dis)ability complicates those perceptions. (It is very alarming how our society masculinizes against their will Black women, which is related to how society taught us to perceive race).

So it's a damned if I do and damned if I don't. My friends of varying races struggle with this complexity as well -- whether it is safer in a given space to be authentic or not.

Non-binary people are regularly erased from society. When I first came out nonbinary ten years ago, I couldn't get jobs if I dared to put my pronouns on my resume, but the moment I took it off, I'd get offers (this was before I became so ill that I could not hold down a full time job) -- sometimes even from the same companies that rejected me prior. (That was an utterly bizarre experience to have, and many nonbinary people have discovered similar things.)

I got treated less poorly if I didn't share who I was. If I stayed invisible, and yet it hurt and left me in despair, where I felt like I could never be my full authentic self.

People say, "Be authentic!"

Yet they don't think about how doing so could literally get people like me killed. Where we could lose our livelihoods. That space to be authentic rarely exists in our society, and sometimes it doesn't even exist within our queer spaces or within our justice spaces.

Give us space to be authentic. Work with us to build that authentic space in an accessible way.

Fight against the laws and societal norms that hurt us, kill us, strip us of healthcare access and access to what we need to thrive.

Ways to work with us to build that authentic space requires talking with us and listening to our needs. It means being accessible too, because accessibility is crucial to building any space, so that the majority of people will be able to engage and participate.

There's a lot of intersection of identities here in this fight, and no, it's not easy, but then fighting for justice? For our right to exist as our authentic selves without fear of death or harm? That will always be hard.

Robert Jones Jr., once wrote: "We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist."

Love cannot be realized or built into our society if we deny one another's humanity and right to exist. One cannot be authentic if the space to allow for that is not built.

So let us build it together. So that all people can feel safer about being their authentic selves.

That's my message for people who consider themselves allies of us.

P.S. Normalize pronouns. We all have them. We cannot communicate without them as they are an essential component to how grammar works and how we construct sentences. Normalize sharing them regardless of whether you are trans or not.

It's so weird when cisgender people yell things like, "I don't have pronouns!"

I always want to point out, "But you used "I" and that's a pronoun, and in order for me to talk to you, I had to use the pronoun of "you." When you spoke of your friend, you use "he" or "she" which are both pronouns. For that person over there that you don't know, you used singular "they" which is also a pronoun. Without these, we (another pronoun) would have a harder time communicating."

It's such a weird hill to die on.

P.P.S. Boost trainings, knowledge, stories, art, and other creative works by trans folks, please, especially trans folks of color and/or disabled trans folks (since even in trans-friendly spaces the intersection of disability and/or race can still create that dynamic of dismissal of their lived experiences, stories, art, knowledge, etc regardless of whether its a conscious or unconscious dismissal).

If you find yourself dismissing a trans person's knowledge, art, stories, and trainings, but then you suddenly believe the same information if it comes from the mouth of a cis (non-trans person)? That is evidence that you view us as less-than. Interrogate that please.

P.P.P.S Feel free to add in (respectfully) other ways to build up a space where we can exist in safer ways as our authentic selves. I'm sure I'll think of more eventually too, but I'm very tired tonight and utterly terrified to even write the above.

But hell, I only live once, and am trying not to let fear dictate my actions.

I just hope folks will still enjoy my fictional writings despite knowing I'm a disabled, nonbinary, queer person. (See prior point about how biases -- often unconscious -- can cause people to dismiss experiences, art, writing, knowledge from folks like me because of that unconscious view of us as less than.)

When I ask people why they don't try to read a trans writer, it often boils down to an assumption that all we write about is trans stuff as if we are one-dimensional with no ability to have complex plots. Or they assume it will be boring or unrelateable, but until they try to read it, such assumptions aren't reliable. And no, we do not write only about trans issues - our plots and characters are as complex as any other writer. It's very depressing honestly. It's why I always ask people to be willing to try new things.

Be brave. Take the risk. Listen and read the words of people like me.

Open your horizons and be vulnerable.

Be willing to acknowledge that no one knows everything, we are all ignorant in something, and that's okay. We learn, we seek to understand, we grow, we do better.

So be open to growth and doing better.

Thanks for reading. Have a great day.

#writing #trans #unconscious bias #never know how to tag these rants #gender is a spectrum #it's okay to not know everything and to be wrong sometimes #learn and grow and be better #Let's try to build that authentic and safer space together

[fieldsofbone]

Your tags on the padme post were really interesting, do you think padme was mistreated by the writers?

thank you for reading them and for saying that, that’s so kind!

this is a compelling question and one that i don’t have a super clear answer to, but i don’t think that she was mistreated in the way that so many of my favorite female characters in media have been. i think that padmé has a remarkable amount of depth, nuance, and agency even by today’s cultural standards for women characters, and i love that there’s an understanding that her discerning, tenacious, and “strong” traits are all tethered to and reinforced by her compassion, softness, generosity, warmth, and genuine love for the people she represents and has intimate emotional relationships with. that seems so obvious, but there’s often such a predisposition to siphon female characters into one box — you’re either endowed with the more “masculine” former characteristics or the “feminine” latter. even though episode ii is largely focused on the development of anakin and padmé’s relationship, i never felt as though she was defined solely through that lens or only ever treated as a love interest. padmé is, from the moment we meet her, her own person with interests, traits, flaws, and ambitions outside of any proximity to a man.

which is also what makes her storyline in episode iii so disappointing.

like i said in those tags (that i churned out half-asleep at 1am), i can understand the decision to cut various scenes as the movie’s runtime was long enough in the final product, but it’s not lost on me that the majority of deleted scenes are focused on padmé’s efforts as a leader of the budding rebellion. to me this decision does a massive disservice to the overall story — not only the prequels, but the entire saga as a whole. indeed, one of the most significant scenes that was cut from episode ii shows padmé addressing the senate less than an hour (!!!) after surviving an assassination attempt and reiterating her stance against the creation of the clone army, which she (rightly) perceived to be a blatant declaration of war. this scene crucially positions padmé as a chief adversary and obstacle to palpatine’s ambitions and push toward authoritarianism, and lays the groundwork for him to use her to sow doubt in anakin and drive a wedge between them, further isolating anakin from his emotional anchorpoints and making him far more susceptible to palpatine’s manipulation. and it fills an important narrative gap between episodes i and iii by showing the dissolution of padmé’s and palpatine’s relationship and her grappling with the realization of his true intentions / machinations.

we can see this explicitly in this deleted scene (starting at 5:27) from episode iii, in which padmé and a group of senators confront palpatine (with anakin at his side, ever the loyal servant) and implore a return to diplomacy, a notion which palpatine is (of course) visibly hostile toward. as she and the others exit his chambers, palpatine turns to anakin and begins to question padmé’s motives, feigning concern about the authenticity of her request and suggesting that she’s hiding something. anakin balks at this and defends her, but it’s clear that palpatine’s words have hit a nerve and planted seeds of doubt in anakin’s mind. this scene is doubly important because it makes anakin and padmé’s final exchange on mustafar even more devastating and poignant, and makes anakin’s outburst toward her and the rage he feels upon seeing obi-wan aboard her ship more understandable and less seemingly out of the blue: his mentor and the only person he believes he can trust has been relentlessly spinning fictions about his wife’s betrayal, so of course she brought obi-wan as a covert assassination plot and of course she’s lying when she says she loves him. (i’m obviously not saying him force-choking her was like, a good thing, but it feels more narratively justified.)

this is a ridiculously long response to your question so i will finally digress and say that my simple answer is yes, to a certain degree. i don’t think she was mistreated as a whole, but the decisions to cut scenes from episode iii (and, to a lesser extent, ii) that are imperative to showing her as a founder of the rebellion movement, a potent adversary to palpatine, and laying the foundation for her and anakin’s last meeting massively undermined her character and was an incredible disservice to the overarching story — which bleeds into fleshing out so many points from the original trilogy as well!

and her cause of death was absolute bullshit but we can talk about that another day :)

#padme amidala #anonymous #o: ask #THIS WAS SO LONG… i have one million other thoughts about this and her but i don’t wanna turn this into any more of a novel than #it already is!!! #thank you for indulging me 🥺

[dekusleftsock]

This is a silly question/topic so feel free to take your time, mostly propelled by a need to share observations on my part XD. Whenever I see adult pro hero Deku art, I only like the ones who keep Deku's haircut or make it longer. I've tried, but I just don't like Deku with an undercut. Then I noticed something cute: I love parallels between Shigaraki and Deku, and older Deku growing his hair out would be a cute parallel to Shigaraki and Deku growing to understand him. Do you think that would look cool? Side Note: I'm a bit of a fashion critic, so I often go looking at hairstyles and outfits. In general modern men's fashion is often lacking creativity compared to previous generations. I tried looking at androgynous fashion, but often it tended to be...oddly very gendered instead. It tries to use very traditionally masculine and feminine fashion instead of creating a unique look instead. This is not meant to be offensive in any sort of way, just an observation of mine. In my experience, fashion and beauty is at it's best when you create looks that work with your body instead of against it. Then again, regardless of gender a lot of fashion fails for me because it tries to force people to fit the outfit instead of making an outfit that works with the person. Interestingly enough, that's why celebrities often look so much more amazing in outfits than common people do. They often get outfits tailor made for them, with their bodies and strengths in mind. From what I've seen as an outsider, androgynous outfits have a tendency to fall flat because they try to make the person fit the outfit/agenda instead of creating an androgynous outfit that perfectly fits whoever that person actually is. Oddly enough, this is why I don't usually like short haired Deku. He's a chaotic mess and his hair adds to the impression, giving him short hair takes some of those qualities away. Katsuki's outfit works with me for the same reason. Some people have mentioned it having some androgynous hints to it, I think it works because it compliments him as a person instead of trying to force him to be something he isn't. I was wondering what someone who is actually trans would think though, since these are just me observations as a fashion nerd. Again, none of this is meant to offend. It's just an odd observation I've made about the mistakes people make when considering fashion and beauty of any type.

I actually love the idea of deku with long hair! I honestly have for a long time. It’s sad to see close to no one who actually like, draws him that way.

I’m not super great at fashion, but I definitely agree that things just aren’t made for peoples bodies. Instead they’re made to shape them in a way that fits the beauty standard (which is why I’m also really concerned about low rise jeans coming back into fashion. Bc of ED’s)

As for my opinions of androgynous fashion, I feel like people nowadays only perceive womens clothing as, yknow, womens clothing, and mens clothing is more so seen as androgynous. It’s probably due to the uptick in women wearing cheap working clothes (jeans mostly) during the 50’s. Ww2 happened, all the men were out at war, etc etc we know all that.

So because of this pre conceived notion that everyone wears jeans, hoodies and whatever else, than THAT must be androgynous clothing. When in reality, all clothing is androgynous! Frilly pink skirts are just as androgynous as overalls or something else.

It’s also made to cover up parts of your body. Specifically breasts because people don’t actually see non binary people as non binary and more just see them as “woman lite”. People being born male and therefore having to do other things to appear more androgynous just doesn’t exist to them.

And god forbid someone with breasts where ANYTHING that shows they exist in any light. You’re called a trender or some other stupid name.

But, back to Izuku and Katsuki, I love how both of their designs fit their characters. I think the reason why Katsuki’s hair and clothes actually fit HIM is because his parents are fashion designers. He yells at deku in one of the exclusive comics for the newest movie about how he can’t add a cape to his undercover clothes lol. I think he was talking about both practicality and also just how it would look.

I think that’s also why Izuku is.. uhm, himself

He’s really rocking those red shoes and knee length shorts ig

Anyway, narrative aside, god I wish horikoshi would give him even the SLIGHTEST SENSE OF FASHION AND HAIR CARE

I mean I can’t say I’m much better (I’ve got the straightest of straight hair alive lmfao. My hair does absolutely nothing) but like, CMON MAN-

I wish he would just grow it out. The undercut idea people have is just absolutely horrendous imo. Please, izuku, just grow it tf out

LIKE EITHER OF THESE SUIT HIM BETTER (mostly the one on the right) AND IT FITS NARRATIVELY

Another design pet peeve I have with the fandom is just how burly they wanna make him, which I am just, not at all okay with. Izuku represents healing from toxic masculinity, why tf would he be the most grade A definition of “the male gaze”? He’s not allmight, his arch is literally about not being allmight. Men are ALLOWED TO BE SHORT. They are ALLOWED TO NOT LOOK VISIBLY STRONG. Another example about how people just let the male gaze and patriarchy get in the way of characters who are supposed to directly contradict that! Yay!

People will be like “oh deku should learn how to be his own hero, hero society is failing him” and then in the same breath will say that he would be burly, number 1 in the leader boards always, he’s the symbol of peace, hope, etc

IDK GUYS

MAYBE THERE JUST SHOULDNT BE A SYMBOL FOR ANYTHING BC INDIVIDUALITY DOES NOTHING????

#this was all in an Americans pov but whatever lol #bias always exists what can I sa #bkdk #midoriya izuku #mha deku #bkdk brainrot #bakudeku #bakugou katsuki #bnha deku #mha analysis

[deaddruid]

it's literally just misogyny to think men have this super unique experience where only they are made to feel like expressing distressing emotions is wrong and embarrassing, and women lack the depth and self awareness to feel such things. news flash we live in a world where productivity and image are valued above all else, and where having mental health issues is seen as weak. being ashamed about deviating from that standard is a very normal human experience. strangely enough, it's not just men, women also want to be taken seriously, they also want to be respected, they also want to be seen as trustworthy and confident and capable.

the difference, of course, is that men are automatically regarded as strong, confident, and worthy of being listened to due to patriarchal notions of masculinity and femininity. so when they let their emotions show, and people assume that makes them weak, they feel they are being robbed of the respect and strong image that they are owed for being male. because to men, being male means they are inherently special. it means they are inherently capable of greater success, intelligence, confidence, capability, leadership, critical thinking, the list goes on and on, just by virtue of being male. they are taught to win the respect and praise of other men, and to foster relationships with them based on mutual respect. so when someone takes that special "man" status away, and doesn't afford them the respect they believe they are owed, they mistake it for a specific form of oppression they experience due to gender roles that no woman could ever understand.

for women, it's the exact opposite. the moment women let their emotions show, it is automatically seen as being due to their sex. we are told from birth that we are flighty, hysterical, emotional creatures without the self-awareness and intellectual depth men have. we are automatically assumed to be less capable and weaker than men, and instead have to continually prove ourselves to be unlike the female stereotype in order to gain a modicum of respect from our peers. we are led to believe that other women are shallow, catty, and cruel, and that we'd be much happier and avoid so much drama if we weren't friends with other women. we are made to see it as a virtue to be "not like the other girls", never something to aspire to. so when we slip up and let our emotions show, not only can it be distressing because in general we associate over-the-top emotions with weakness, but because we feel we failed to prove that we are different.

of course, men do not understand this at all, because they assume women are this way naturally. it reinforces for men that they are right about us and our weakness, our fragility, and the pain and shame that comes from that female-specific experience can be absolutely devastating. men can't even fathom the fact that women might also want to be respected as equals, and they certainly aren't considering the fact that women spend our whole lives trying to get men (and sometimes other women) to take us seriously. ultimately, it all comes back to the fact that men spend their lives chasing being male, and women spend their lives running away from being female.

#radfem #radical feminsim #misogyny

[div1nity]

𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄⠀⠀ ‟⠀⠀⠀⠀… ⠀⠀⠀the⠀⠀cost⠀⠀of⠀⠀fame⠀⠀was⠀⠀just⠀⠀a⠀⠀𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍⠀⠀𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒆⠀⠀𝒕𝒐⠀⠀𝒑𝒂𝒚⠀⠀at⠀⠀the⠀⠀time⠀⠀,⠀⠀a⠀⠀little⠀⠀favour⠀⠀and⠀⠀𝖙𝖍𝖊⠀⠀𝖉𝖊𝖛𝖎𝖑⠀⠀would⠀⠀𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒⠀⠀𝑢𝑝⠀⠀𝑚𝑦⠀⠀𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒⠀⠀.⠀⠀but⠀⠀now⠀⠀i'm⠀⠀𝑜𝑛⠀⠀𝑡ℎ𝑒⠀⠀𝑟𝑢𝑛⠀⠀'cause⠀⠀he⠀⠀wants⠀⠀me⠀⠀𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝⠀⠀𝐨𝐫⠀⠀𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞⠀⠀,⠀⠀the⠀⠀fame⠀⠀and⠀⠀fortune⠀⠀got⠀⠀me⠀⠀trapped⠀⠀in⠀⠀a⠀⠀𝘤𝑖𝘵𝑦⠀⠀𝘰𝑓⠀⠀𝘭𝑖𝘦𝑠⠀⠀.⠀⠀mirror⠀⠀,⠀⠀mirror⠀⠀sitting⠀⠀up⠀⠀high⠀⠀on⠀⠀the⠀⠀wall⠀⠀;⠀⠀save⠀⠀me⠀⠀from⠀⠀𝖙𝖍𝖊⠀⠀𝖉𝖊𝖛𝖎𝖑⠀⠀that's⠀⠀ho͟l͟d͟i͟n͟g͟⠀͟⠀͟m͟y͟⠀͟⠀͟s͟o͟u͟l⠀⠀,⠀⠀coming⠀⠀for⠀⠀the⠀⠀favor⠀⠀that⠀⠀he⠀⠀𝒌𝒏͟𝒐͟𝒘͟𝒔⠀⠀that⠀⠀i⠀⠀owe⠀⠀.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ／⠀⠀headcanons⠀ , ⠀⠀threads⠀ , ⠀⠀playlist⠀ , ⠀⠀open starters⠀ , ⠀⠀starter call .⠀⠀ ⠀trigger⠀⠀warnings : ⠀⠀the typical things that come with overwatch : political unrest , murder / assassination all that mumbo jumbo | this is an ever evolving verse , which means more info will be added or changed as time goes on .

ca͟l͟l͟ ͟s͟i͟g͟n : blue ( blackwatch ) | virago ( current : HISTORY , the title has a long and rich history dating back to hellenistic philosophy in ancient greece ; the concept itself linked to the notion of brave men abiding society and being the core of its values and ethics - it's about heroism, morality and physical strength ; women at the time were considered lesser in comparison . however, if exceptional enough - these women could be granted with the title virago - meaning the woman had surpassed the exceptions for what believed possible for her gender and embodied masculine like aggression and/or excellence. virago, then, was a title of respect and admiration. as time went on, the meaning changed to something more negative, 'a domineering, violent, or bad-tempered woman.' or 'shrew' - the title intertwined with it's original meaning and the newest ; however most understand the name to mean the latter . coraline's strong connection to greece and the history is what inspired this title - it's also a little on the nose study that just like the callsign, there is more to coraline and her character than the faracde displayed on the surface . ) bi͟r͟t͟h͟p͟l͟a͟c͟e : britain. lo͟c͟a͟t͟i͟o͟n : bounces around a lot ; has a few apartments in shady spots . however one of her main resting places is a ship that's in the middle of the australian desert ; it has everything she needs . fa͟c͟e͟c͟l͟a͟i͟m : depends when the mood strikes , sometimes natasha romanoff from the marvel comics ; othertime i'll use lara croft both game and comics ; i'll also just use my main live action. ac͟c͟e͟n͟t : due to travelling , coraline's accent has a twinge of everything ; however there is a prominant southen london tone that is more dominant . la͟n͟g͟u͟a͟g͟e͟s͟ ͟k͟n͟o͟w͟n : greek, spanish, russian, swedish, irish, korean, german, chinese, japanese, french, arabic, morse code . sc͟a͟r͟s : deep , red scar across neck from a fatal wound during a blackwatch ops - only managed to survive due to the meds team quick response / talent ; often covered up with a choker , gun shot wounds on left hip and right shoulder . ta͟t͟t͟o͟o͟s : faded blackwatch logo on right side ; clearly in the process of being removed ( is sorrttaa gone recall ; it was a drunken mistake in her ovw era ) / rose thorns circling right thigh , cat tattoo left arm . jo͟b͟ ͟h͟i͟s͟t͟o͟r͟y : worked for overwatch in their undercover division , blackwatch . when disbanded was an assassin for hire with no loyalty to any cause - has a history of being hired by talon acquaintances ; thus starting a complicated , untitled relationship with the group . sk͟i͟l͟l͟s : martial arts , hacking , engineering ( the later two certainly aren't her specialities , they're just things she can do at a low scale . ) po͟w͟e͟r͟s : magic user , has regenerative cells that cause quick healing , this is also why coraline appears ageless - though is mortal , just requires a fatal wound to kill her . ab͟i͟l͟i͟t͟i͟e͟s͟ ͟i͟n͟ ͟g͟a͟m͟e : create portals and jump from different areas of the map ( no team mates can use ) with a 10 second cool down , self healing , smoke bomb that has a 6 second cool down ULTIMATE : duplicates nearby team members for 7 seconds , sending out holograms that mimic the individuals actions . it's the slowest ultimate build due to the intensity of it . lo͟a͟d͟o͟u͟t : M110 semi-automatic sniper , nighthawk aac recon : silenced , throwing knives and an omniblade machete | has an ai companion named hephaestus that helps on missions when/if needed .

𝐏𝐑𝐄 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇

the streets have always been coraline's home , even when having four walls and a roof - she didn't shy away from sneaking out and sleeping in alleys in favour of her bed . her parents were abusive ; mean, rich and powerful people who didn't hesitate to weaponize it, even against their own blood . they were reason why she was born with survival flowing through her veins - the reason why she's always had a sharpness about her that the kids around her lacked . it was only a matter of time before she took to them full time , deciding that they were safer than being at 'home' - of cause the streets came with harsh challenges , with ruthlessness - but it was better , making it an environment coraline thrived in all too well .

she needed friends on the streets ... so to speak , friendships are rare in and of themselves - what she needed was allies. meaning snuggling up to gangs in different areas was the next best thing, it was the way to provide safety ; shelter without stepping on anyone's toes, especially with the ever rising conflicts. she didn't carry a title ; at least not internally , outwardly was another story ; realistically, everyone was using each other, it's what made the system work - mutually beneficial relationships, while fickle, have a strength about them the longer you remain useful. within the system there are still special connections to be made - cautious friendships, if you will. with this came trust, in return you can get shelter, food and something that couldn't be gained on her own ; stability and purpose.

it wasn't long before coraline was put to work, things she was more than happy to do - smuggling drugs across state lines, stealing intel from different gangs ; dangerous work, especially for a child - but it was work she thrived in. coraline had a talent for stealth , for having a quickness on feet - it what built her reputation and she wasted no time profiting off of it. there was also the added edge of having abilities that others tyically didn't ; magic usage had only been a small percentage of her life, trying to avoid it as much as possible ; however it came in handy when being sent on the low scale missions - quick healing, the ability to create portals - it made her life easier, it certainly made her far more efficent. though it was a secret held close to heart - she didn't need to go bragging and giving up all her secrets.

it's this what got her on overwatch's radar ; there was a long while of them keeping tabs on her movements, watching from afar and getting a better understanding of her skills and talents - she was the perfect candidate for the organization - the exact sort of skills that they were looking for - though it was a little while before getting involved, obviously waiting for an oppotunity to arise before approaching.

in truth, it didn't take long. the life was catching up with coraline - between gang conflicts coming to ahead, the law slowly closing in and people realising that she was playing both sides with a little too many unfulfilled debts, there were a lot of people seeking her out - the sloppiness had much to do with her worsening drug habit, it was making her reckless, no thoughts going into her actions - she wasn't happy, coraline doesn't remember a time where she was and as a result they were the only things that made her forget about her life - the state she's made of it, it was easy to fall into hopelessness when there wasn't any hope to begin with.

one night, coraline had snuck away from the group after packing up her belongings, what was worth while of it ; a gun, some stolen money and some clothes - it was here when overwatch decided it was time to approach her - extending a helping hand and offering a second chance, a chance to care about something other than herself ; a chance to be someone she could be proud of. coraline didn't really have a choice when accepting, but she'd be lying if she was mad about it.

HEADCANONS :

as mentioned , coraline was heavily involved in drug use ; specifically meth , speed and cocaine - anything that kept her awake and had her blood pumping. there have been several instances of her stealing from stealing from suppliers - giving them the drugs in full, only to sneak back and steal some for herself.

another side gig that was taken up more so as a way to pass the time was partaking in illegal boxing matches - it was something she watched regularly and enjoyed betting on ; it was only a matter of time before taking a personal liking to it ; it was harsh, violent, of cause she couldn't help but be drawn to it - after voicing interest in this, a boxer that hired her to gather intel had taken up the task of teaching her how to fight in a ring ; at first he voiced that she would be stupid to take up going into the ring, even with how much she was learning with him - but that just made the notion more exciting, "it's all about the show, ain't it?" she'd grin, wiping her mouth of blood from a particularly bad punch he'd swung at her - it was then he became aware of how quickly she healed, seeing this, the boxer had taught her how to use her smaller body and strength to her advantage - going up against people her size and the closest to her weight as they could find at the time - but she proved to be a worthy opponent - it was a while before finding her footing, but when that was found she ended up diving into rigging the fights for extra money ; she was in her element. though, it did become just another mess she got herself into.

𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇

before even stepping her foot through the door, overwatch had put coraline in their medical facility in an attempt to help her detox off of the drugs - it was an agonizing road ; dealing with sweats, emotional out bursts and violent mood swings - truly, the most painful experience she had ever been through ; not the fighting, the emotional torment of the streets - simply being away from the drugs almost completely broke her apart, she had relied on them so long to feel anything, to just exist she never realised how much strain they were putting on her body. despite the clear signs of addiction displayed, in truth, coraline never noticed just how much she relied on substances.

it was under a year before overwatch decided they were satisfied with her recovery, though given her cells, she recovered quickly ; at least physically, there was still the aspect of dealing with the mental torment of it all in the aftermath - but she said as long as she kept her mind busy, she would be fine - she feels ready to take on the world, to start new - she's never felt as good as she did in that moment - with the vote of confidence, they put her to work - well, training most specifically ; honing in on her fighting skills, practicing shooting - she had fun with it, even acting as a therapy.

she struggled learning how to trust - she lived her life backstabbing, lying and manipulating - it was the way things were. to suddenly change up the dynamic and put her life in the hands of other people in such a way caused her to have a slight crisis - team building exercises were regular, helping her get used to people, in a way, overwatch was helping her to completely rewire her social perception. it was a painful road seeing people as friends and not as enemies, but after a long time, of training with them and fighting along side them - she began to open herself up. allowing herself to get comfortable, to get somewhat soft around others and become docile - she was happier ; she was putting her talents to use while not having to worry about going home and getting stabbed in her sleep.

MORE TO BE ADDED .

HEADCANON :

i personally hc that coraline was a part of the venice mission, because .. c'mon, it's fun to think about - and while a lot of her portrayal revolves around the core four, if you're a blackwatch writer ( gabriel , genji , moria , cassidy ) and don't vibe with the idea, then that's fine ! just let me know - because i can make it so the impact bw had on her are faceless within the group rather than specifically canon charcters.

𝐏𝐑𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋

after the collapse of overwatch, it took a little while for coraline to get back on her feet ; naturally , this left a large hole in her life that was originally filled by the group - they found her when she was at her worst and as a result she truly never pictured a time where she'd be without them . looking back , she realises how foolish she had been to put so much faith in something that wasn't even remotely sustainable - it was an undercover military group , the shadow of something that represented an artificial light that never truly existed in the first place ; it was bound to collapse in on itself from the weight of sins that it carried ; however she was young , she had a spark in her that made her hopeful - vulnerable , weaker - a mistake she promised to herself to never make again .

she took some time away , retirement so to speak , though without any of the actual relaxing ; taking the time to learn new skills ; languages , hacking , engineering - she knew already knew how to kill , how to fight ; blackwatch saw to that - they had taught her everything she needed to know , but that's nothing without the intelligence and added skills to back that up ; killing , fighting - it was easy, anyone could do it - there always needs to be an added edge . she built gadgets , practiced hacking anything that was of interest - she wanted to be better , she wanted to make herself bulletproof because she knew the path she was about to go down required her to be the best - at least be better than who she once was .

before going back on the field, her first move was to erase herself completely - cleaning up every little shadow of herself she could find in an attempt to have a fresh start, to burn her past self to the ground and rise from the ashes - not necessarily as someone better. her illegal boxing matches from her teenage years, the drug smuggling and gang activity, her time at overwatch - thrown out, as if it never happened at all. any trace of her legal name was gone, she preferred it that way, in this moment came some sort of clarity , even if dipped in melancholy - she became a new person, she had her entire life ahead of her without any of the baggage holding her down - though with this new found lightness, came a lot of bad ideas - ones she was more than happy to live out despite the grave consequences that will unfold from them . continuing the career of mercenary seemed like the most logical line of work for her to go in ; so that's what she did . nothing unusual, nothing that she wasn't already used to ; but eventually she fell into the assassin career, it was one that took a little too easily - even worse, she enjoyed it - she was far too good at the work and it eventually became the new norm in her contracts.

coraline's problem was she didn't really know herself, never took the time to learn. there was no outside of the violence ; because that's all there was, she can't picture not being behind a gun . finding herself in this line of work was natural progression from her previous employment . with dedication, pride and a swift efficiency - it only took a couple of years for her name to become a whisper in the places where it mattered. much like before overwatch she took to the moto of once again having no loyalty , no moral code - she didn't care who was the target, just that the pay was heavy and the client knew what it meant to be inconspicuous - she became the go to gun when needed something done ; swift, quick, easy and was already out of the targets vicinity when the pulling the trigger . eventually she was hired by higher profiles, being paid to off ceos, politicians and high end criminal targets .

coraline can always been seen wearing a mask, without one she feels naked, exposed and far too seen ; people describe her as cold, calculated, lacking empathy - but in truth … that isn't the case, though her actions certainly prove otherwise . she still has moments of hesitating when she knows certain targets don't deserve it, has moments of taking a sharp breath through teeth and closing her eyes as she pulls the trigger and wincing once the bullet goes through a target - she has a job to do and a title to maintain - so ultimately, it gets done, no matter what ; the guilt, the dirty feeling that sticks to her after every mission is ignored, as a result she isn't in the best headspace - forcing herself to shut down as much as humanly possible ; though that's just it, she's still human and living isn't as easy as it used to be - or maybe she's just getting old and faking it is becoming harder ; it's an unwavering farcade that very few can see beyond.

HEADCANONS :

coraline's kill methods range from distance to up close and personal. her usual sign that she was the person behind the kill is kills via blade ; usually leaving behind quite a scene, especially when she deems someones death worthwhile. she likes to see the light fade from someones eyes, likes to be reminded what it looks and feels like when someone dies right in front of her ; it's easy to pull a trigger. it's another thing to hear the final breaths. this is also a method to keep her emotions in check, in short ; not only is it fun, but there's an element of personal mental self harm by putting herself through the trials to stop her going soft.

𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋

work in progress .

#v: overwatch. #THIS IS STILL A WIP AND I STILL AHVE THINGS TO DO #BUT AMMA POST IT NOW BECAUSE THERES MUCH TO WORK WITH #IM IN SANEEEE #if i keep this in my drafts any longer i will delete this out of fustration and never come back to it

[femsolid]

Hi I'm 20 I've been interested in radical feminism for a few months now, and I am growing to be more and more gnc.( I have a blog here but i don't post anything because of my extreme social anxiety which I'm actually fighting against(reblogging stuff took a few months, and as u can guess this ask too).) I used to be very feminine, so it was kind of shock to my family. Shaving my head, not shaving my legs or my armpits or my private parts etc. My mom kinda lost it when I came back with a buzzcut, saying it was very ugly and I looked ridiculous etc. My dad just laughed and rolled his eyes, saying I will never do it again (implicit order). My dad is a muslim that was born in an Arabic country, so even though he is kinda more progressive than the rest of his family, it's not by much. A few weeks ago I cut my hair again in a very masculine fashion and I was wearing shorts so he got "angry" (not really but like amused-annoyed) and asked if I wanted "une greffe de pénis " (don't know how u say that in English. Anyway if I wanted a dick lol). My sisters are both very feminine and while one is very understanding, agreeing with me on a lot of things, she has serious body image issues so she is not about to change her mind about that. She just says I can do whatever I like and fuck everyone who criticizes me. The other is very liberal feminist and says that I don't have to show my ideas on my body, meaning if I'm uncomftable showing my body hair I should just shave it off and that it doesn't mean anything about my feminism etc. She kinda doesn't see the connection between words and actions lol.

Anyway now I'm on vacation with my mom who wishes I was more feminine but kinda respects my choice, and everyone looks at me funny because I am the only gnc woman around, especially young. All young women wear eyelashes extensions, lip fillers and very feminine outfits and my social anxiety is getting WILD.

Do u have any advice how to deal with all this? Tbh I just need a pep talk, or just be reassured that what I do isn't stupid. I genuinely feel more comfortable in comfy clothes, which sucks because all of them are masculine. I don't particularly aim for masculinity, and really I realize that I'm looking for excuses because what if I were? Would it be so awful? Everyone acts as if I'm throwing my best years away being ugly and hairy while I could be beautiful like my sisters. I'm bi but I choose not to date men, but I still feel the pressure to be attractive to them all the time and it's hard to fight against everyone telling me I'm wrong and that my ideas are ridiculous and stupid. Anyway sorry for the veryyyyyy long ask, hope ur not overwhelmed. U don't have to answer, I guess I just needed to vent. Would be cool if u did tho lol

Bonjour !

First of all, they turn the situation on its head, pretending that you are the one who is actively trying to be something else, when you're just existing as you were born to be and they are the ones who demand that you turn into something artificial.

And there's another thing that gets completely twisted. You are not masculine. How can a woman, who expressly looks exactly as a woman looks naturally, be masculine? And how can a woman, who expressly tries to look unlike a woman by altering her appearance, be more feminine? In fact, I would argue that a woman who tries to look like a man-made version of womanhood is closer to masculinity, by definition.

And why is simply existing as yourself the ridiculous notion, but trying to look as childlike and unlike yourself as possible the reasonable one? Personally, when I look at feminine women, especially the ultra feminine ones you described, it really doesn't make me want to go back to that. It really comforts me in my choice. I think about how much time and money and energy they've spent on all this, how much they are self monitoring instead of enjoying the moment, it pains me really. After all, I know exactly how it feels like. I hope that when they look at me they realize that there is another way to live as a woman. Even if they think I'm disgusting, they still learned that an alternative exists, and that's a good thing. Maybe the next time they get scared of going out without make-up they'll think about that woman at the bakery shop who didn't care one bit.

I've seen quite a lot of gnc women lately by the way. And every time it makes my day. Though you might not be aware of it, you are making the day of a lot of women and girls. You may feel lonely but you are not alone I assure you. Not only are you making your life more comfortable, but you are also helping others by simply being yourself, and that's an uplifting thought I think.

Ultimately though, you're doing this for yourself, not for others. We only have one life, it shouldn't be wasted trying to please people who would stop liking us for... body hair? Not wearing heels? Or tight clothes? That's insane. So, if anything, being gnc makes it easier to distinguish between the people who are worth your time and those who aren't.

Speaking of someone who isn't worth my time, my father always persecuted me because I wasn't "feminine" enough. To the point of violence. But there came a moment when I realized, "he's never going to change", and I had enough. It was at a familly dinner, he had made yet another remark on my haircut, saying that I looked like a "gouine", (since you know french you must know it means "dyke"). He said it like your father did, not in an angry way (this time), more in a playfully abusive way. I never saw him again after that. No sir. Now I'm not telling you to cut off your familly, you'll deal with them however you want, but there's no reason you should be harassed in this way. It's not okay for a parent to try to humiliate their own child. Would you do that to your kid? So you know it's not okay. And so that's gonna have to stop. Hopefully with time they'll get over it. My father never did, so I decided to prioritize my well being.

On that note, feel free to check out my gnc tag it's full of great posts that'll make you feel better I'm sure.

Passe de bonnes et COMFORTABLES vacances ! Don't forget that if anyone gives you shit for the way you look, they are just revealing themselves early on and saving you time.

#ask

[onewomancitadel]

What do you think about chivalry being a apart of Jaune's character? Do you believe it's a good thing? Because I've seen it referred to as something offensive and talked about as if theres something wrong with it. Do you think that Jaune being chivalrous is wrong or that it's somehow "harmful"?

Characters embody ideals as much as they embody emotional verisimilitude of a real person, so chivalry being an idea explored in Jaune's character is something that reads as pretty natural to me. However, it's explored through the lens that R/WBY wants to explore those ideas through, which is going to be grounded in something life-affirming and also - to the modern viewer - more egalitarian.

Chivalry as it stands historically doesn't really represent anything that noble; chivalry as we conceive of it is mostly an idea that exists in fiction. I'm talking about knightly chivalry here, not chivalry in the sense of men holding open doors for women. Which is probably where the misunderstanding happens, because the modern notion of chivalry grounded in gender roles is derived from an ahistorical notion of medieval chivalry. A thing that doesn't really exist in the way it claims to exist predicated upon something that never existed in the way we conceive of it is rather farcical.

I like that interplay of fictional ideals coupled with the reality of expected decorum and behaviour, and if I had extremely high expectations of R/WBY appreciating the ins and outs of the historical record, I might go so far as to say that a play on that fiction vs. history would be something they'd be good at (what with fairytales being real). I don't think this is necessarily the case, but it does add nice flavour to a character like Jaune.

As I said: it's nice flavour, but it's really just part of the romantic aesthetics of knighthood and masculinity. As you can tell, I really don't understand Jaune fans obsessed with murder when a) they don't understand his Semblance/the themes/the story and b) killing Penny is now the darkest hour of his soul. It's not a good thing.

I suppose you could go so far as to say that the Jaune/Weiss 'romance' is a type of chivalric romance (unreciprocated, unconsummated, pure childhood fascination and entitlement, represented by a white rose) and the same for Jaune/Pyrrha, but I don't expect either of these (... in a potential pattern of three) to be the ultimate answers to what chivalric romance would look like in his character arc. Actually, rather appropriately, the troubadours and that evolving medieval concept of romance is something that I think might be rather fitting: it's what Campbell talks about (the bloke who did the monomyth). So if I expect some type of extreme romantic, life or death devotion, Wound of Love type shit:

JOSEPH CAMPBELL: Right. That’s a very mysterious thing, that electric thing that happens. And then the agony that can follow, which is that which the troubadours celebrate, you know, the agony of the love, the sickness that the doctors cannot cure; the wounds that can be healed only by the weapon that delivered the wound.

BILL MOYERS: Meaning?

JOSEPH CAMPBELL: Well, the wound is the wound of my passion and agony of love for this creature, and the only one who can heal me is the one who delivered the blow, you know.

BILL MOYERS: So we often hurt most the person we love, and heal the hurt by the love that hurt.

JOSEPH CAMPBELL: That’s something like that, that’s the paradox of the job.

I would expect it with whomever comes next.

Overall, I would say that there is something of a conflict here between what chivalry is, and what we think we're talking about. I think chivalry is probably only flavour added to his character and potential romance, but is not necessarily grounding his character thematically (only in a reconstructive sense, I think, in response to the story's ideas). I don't know if talking about harm is necessarily the right angle here, because chivalry itself isn't 'harmful', it's what the story is saying about it that is the interesting part. As it stands, it doesn't seem to be a major thrust of his character arc, but I don't think people who think Jaune is 'chivalrous' are using the word in the same way I am.

For that matter, tonally, if you've got chivalry as a theme involved, there is that undercurrent of heresy with Joan of Arc. Chivalry and heresy (following codified ideals of behaviour/going against codified ideals of behaviour) as conflicting ideas is a lot of fun. Of course, I do maintain that whatever heretical idea he completely commits to is something that is considered wrong by people at first but is actually the most correct thing to do (helping Cinder).

So, in that case, ideals and resolve figuring into his arc make perfect sense (and the same is when you have the ideal of masculine self-sacrifice conflicting with the nurturer/life he could save instead figured most prominently in V5 and onwards).

If I go even further, that connection of chivalry/heresy with Cinder and the medieval ideas of romance means the Wound of Love - and its conception of love and pain - is even more appropriate. Lol.

I don't know how to address the gender anxiety surrounding Jaune's character, but a nuanced conversation looking at what the story is saying is always more interesting to me.

#seraphina's asks #user: anonymouse #jaune arc sadsack tag

[desi-lgbt-fest]

I want the notion of man= misogyny and toxic masculinity to fucking die. This narrative has always been weaponised against trans men and it hurts when even queer women do this. Cis queer women will say the most vile transphobic shit but we must keep our mouths shut because we are MEN so calling them out is misogynistic and a sign of toxic masculinity right? We have femininity forced upon us all our lives but we're not allowed to reject it because that's somehow misogynistic. I fucking hate these transphobic "feminists" who think that just because they're women they're allowed to say anything about trans men and it's not "real" transphobia because they've faced misogyny from cis men

okay so we received this quite a while ago and i think, since it's been sitting here for a good while, it either needs to be addressed or tossed out. i guess i'll try to do the former?

i think there is something to learn from this, so here goes.

all of the experiences you have highlighted are valid and, of course, absolutely atrocious and yes should be called out when seen. i think that when we are put into situations where we don't know what a certain statement or conversation is leading and how much we should agree or disagree. someone weaponizing your identity to fit some personal claim is not something to be tolerated at all. call them out, cut them off, whatever you feel like needs to be done, do it. if you are lucky, and they are receptive, they might change their mind. if you are not, then don't bother continuing and move on. I'm sure you have better things to do than to waste precious time on people who don't want to, at the very least, entertain another alternative.

however, if you don't mind, i would like to expand on your own take to hopefully provide a different understanding.

there is a nuance that you are missing, at least in the first line. man = misogyny and toxic masculinity will continue to thrive so long as we are bound by the standards of the patriarchy and white supremacy. which we are, by the way. very, very tightly. even more so if you are south asian, which i am assuming you are because of the contextual space we are occupying. furthermore, i believe there is a certain misplaced expectation that we are bringing to the table here. women (cis, trans, queer) have always been bound by forced double standards for centuries. it won't disappear right away.

now, i'm not sure what experience you've had that has led to this, but whatever it was it must have been very traumatizing and extreme, not to mention by people who we consider to be part of the same community. so yes when this happens, we have the absolute right to call out shit behavior and reject their opinions.

but, in the larger scale of things, men have been the perpetrators of the same systems they are now victims of. and these harmful systems bleed into queer spaces. to see it as one big congealed mass of a problem that can immediately be rejected and then fixed also, in turn, is illogical because it doesn't take into consideration the interdisciplinary nature of the consequences of the patriarchy.

we cannot simply kill the tree by snipping off branches, and it is far too late to nip something as grand as this in the bud. but that doesn't mean we can't try to find the root and work up from there.

#once again feel free to add on #disagree or agree whatever you want to do #but please be respectful #this is a bit heavy so sorry about that #i do not tolerate anyone being unkind just to prove a point #thank youu #mod navi

[unofficial-sean]

Switching my gender from man to non-binary on Bumble had a very interesting effect. I started getting recommended queer people, to my delight. I’m now meeting and matching with people who are on my level, and it feels good. This wasn’t some ploy or anything, I’ve just reflected on myself and determined that I’m not 100% comfortable in a man’s gender role according to western society.

Ever since I was a teenager, I liked dressing femininely. I likely being treated as though I were femme. I liked that expression, but I never felt comfortable doing so; and it has everything to do with safety. I’ve never truly lived on my own, and so I’ve never felt safe enough to express myself the way I want to.

I feel like I’ve had to keep wearing the masculine mask just to exist, but with the right people, I get to take it off and it feels so freeing. It will have to stay on when I go to work and turn wrenches on military trucks, it’ll have to stay on at family function, and it will probably have to stay on for appointments; but when I’m with friends or when I’m in my own space, I can become feminine.

I did something I really wanted to do for a while now and I bought more feminine clothing, so that i don’t have just the one green outfit. It was exciting putting it together and I can’t wait to try it on, even if I can’t wear it all that often.

It got me thinking about why I feel unsafe. I’ve worn my feminine mask around family before, and I always felt eyes drilling into my body. It’s not unfounded. My last birthday, my mother wanted to take me out for dinner, and when she say me that day wearing my feminine mask, she said “Are you gonna change?”

I think a lot about this because it has multiple implications. On one hand, it could be that she was being protective. Maybe appearing trans was a safety risk, which isn’t untrue, and wanted me to tone it down a bit. But on the other hand, maybe it was backhanded. Maybe she didn’t want to be seen in public with me, dressed as I was. It could be shame.

I’ve never really bothered to dig into my mother’s psyche all  that much; I’m bad with communication, I’m worse with conflict, and I’m not prepared for hearing the response if I came up to her and said “Oh, by the way, I’m non-binary.” She might not take me seriously. She may have negative preconceived notions about what that means. It’s easy for me to write all this out, but it’s very hard for me to speak it.

As I keep learning, it seems people don’t understand how sex and gender differ. As I understand it, sex is code. Sex is hardware. If you put my cells under a microscope and watched them divide, you’d see chromosomes separating into each of the new cells, and if you laid them out, you would see that I’m male. I have a prostate, testis, and a penis. I don’t have mammary glands, and my physical features are male. I could be wrong. Maybe I’ve got a derelict set of ovaries or something. I imagine that’d cause issues that would have manifested by now.

Gender, though, is a societal construct that describes a person’s social role. Masculinity and femininity reflect the sexual traits and behaviors of male and female, respectively. A man is masculine and a woman is feminine. Men, in our society, are expected to be strong, stoic, and to build wealth. Whereas women are expected to be courteous, caring, and nurturing. It’s very simplistic, I know, but digging into definitions is a distraction.

With women’s rights being expanded last century, femininity has expanded its role possibility. Women can vote and work. No longer do they have to rely on a man for income and having a voice politically. So, as we erode these gender roles, the line begins to blur.

I like this. There are traits in masculinity and femininity that I embody and enjoy, and there are also parts that I don’t. It is so freeing to step between them. Males can be feminine, females can be masculine, or all or none, and everything in between. The erosion of the gender roles of “man” and “woman” could really enlighten our society, not damage it. Think about all the negative patriarchal grooming that gets applied to young males to condition them to be men. With that erasure, we may see more emotional intelligence. More openness. And that goes for how young females are groomed into the role of women by patriarchy.

None of this is really news to us. This is fundamental to progressive movements. I haven’t studied any of this, but I listen a lot to the people who do, and it’s helped me figure myself out.

I just wish I felt safe enough to express that. Someday soon, I will.

Footnote:

An inspiration for this re-examination of my gender is due in part to A Song of Ice and Fire. Repeatedly, Cersei expresses resentment for having to play the role of a woman. She’s talked about wishing she were the one with a cock, not Jaime. But she also has a womanly connection with her children. And analysis of this suggests that, by our standards today, Cersei is non-binary.

And again, there’s Brienne. When she was young, she entertained the idea of her role as a woman, but harassment steered her away from that. She wanted to fight. She arms herself as a knight would, which is a man’s role in that world. She resents being called a wench, but she also doesn’t like being called sir. When Podrick speaks to her, he stammers and can’t figure out if he should call her sir or my lady. And Brienne never corrects him and tell him how to address her. Brienne, through a contemporary analysis, is non-binary.

Fiction is a great way to explore topics like this, and the more I read, the more I reflect. It doesn’t matter if Brienne is a knight or a wench, she has an honor-bound mission and skill at arms. Cersei doesn’t have that luxury. She cannot express herself as she see’s fit. Seeing that contrast--that constraint--made me appreciate that I do have the privilege of being able to step in and out of gender roles. I know there are many and more who can’t,

[transmascore]

i feel like im going insane. i have literally, literally, identified as everything in the lgbtq+ acronym. literally every single thing. ive "come out" as every sexuality, claimed i was every gender, and yet i still feel like im wrong. im so tired of not knowing who i am. i feel like a fraud and a fake, like an idiot for not knowing who i was when i was like 3 and just stucking with it forever. i wish i was just normal. do you have any advice for figuring it out?

I understand the frustration. It can be scary to not know who you are, and to want to have a definite answer - to have closure. Identity is a complex thing. 

My own understanding of myself has changed over time. From identifying as a woman, to nonbinary, to a man. From woman-leaning pansexual to gay. From feminine to masculine to feminine again. From using one set of pronouns to another, and then another. I've absolutely felt that imposter syndrome and that need to pin myself down as something specific. To know myself fully and feel stable in my identity. 

I don't want to claim that identity is fluid for everyone - there are people out there that find themselves day one and little changes for them. But I will say that, in general, part of life is that people are always changing. One's understanding of oneself evolves over time. We're not the same person at 30 as we were at 20, as we were at 15. I resent the notion of "a phase" as it's often used dismissively, and that's used to invalidate a person's identity and experiences. I don't really believe in "phases" so much as "this point in time is part of my journey."

When I said I was nonbinary at 17, that wasn't a lie. It wasn't a phase; it wasn't me faking anything. It was who I was at that time, my authentic self. Just as 10 years later, me living as a man is my authentic self. And in neither scenario am I taking up unnecessary space.  I understood myself as being attracted to women for most of my life, and that was my understanding of myself then. Now I'm a Kinsey 7.

My biggest piece of advice is to go with the ebb and flow, and not to beat yourself up about it. A big part of the queer journey, for most people I'd say, is to keep exploring until you find what sticks. What feels right to you in the here and now? What makes you feel happy and at peace with yourself? If you find yourself at a loss for an answer, that's okay. You don't need to have one. You can exist as you are without labeling it (unlabeled), or by using an umbrella term to signify that you're LGBT without getting into specifics (such as queer or genderqueer). 

There's also terminology out there, neologisms, that describe people whose understanding of their own sexuality and gender are in flux - like abrosexual and genderfluid. Because you're far from alone. Many people cycle through the acronym and aren't quite sure where they belong. Even if those specific words don't necessarily click with you, I recommend looking into their communities and speaking to the people in them. You may find answers and make friends with people in a similar situation.

Ultimately: You cannot be a fraud when it comes to your own gender and sexuality. If you come out as a lesbian one day and a gay man the next and a bisexual that afternoon - there's nothing wrong with that. You are you, whatever your understanding of the situation is at the time. 

Good luck on your journey, and take it one step at a time. Go easy on yourself. And if you can, do something nice for yourself today. Treat yourself! Figuring out who you are is hard work. ❤️

#asks #anonymous