#look her tiny baby megamind looking
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DP X DC AU Danny and The Little Dead Girl (Art)
I call this one, I committed to my own bit!
Anyway, have some baby and grown up Curaré from my DP X DC AU Danny and the Little Dead Girl, not much else to say on that.
I think when Curaré gets older while she wouldn’t be an assassin like she is in Batman Beyond she would be some sorta Halfa hero working for Fentonworks so I also doodled that, as a treat. (Also I can’t believe it took me this long to realize how much her canonical design makes her look like megamind i fuckin died laughing while drawing this)
#dp x dc#dc#danny phantom#danny and the little deadgirl au#batman beyond#curaré#me making silly sketches of my own au? that’s buck wild lemme tell u#look her tiny baby megamind looking#wanted to incorporate some of the white she wears in her OG design#ergo little puffer vest when she’s older#also yes she is wearing Danny’s shirt like a dress in that day 1 drawing#I do no think Mr Daniel Fenton has enough clothes to spare a real outfit for the child tbh
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Marvin’s MegaBirthday Story
Guess who made a Megamind AU with Marvin as the title character?
Here’s a quick list of characters so you won’t get confused about who’s who:
Marvin, The Malevolent Magician - Megamind
Dr. Schneeplestein, the Doctor - Minion, but human
The Brighton Shepherd - Metro Man
Jackieboy Man, the Red Marauder - Sidekick to the Shepherd, original role of sorts
Chase Brody, news reporter - Roxanne Ritchi
Anthony/Anti - Hal Stewart, without the creepy simping
CW: Police brutality, hints of starvation, strangulation and mentions of electrocution
It was a glorious day in Brighton City. Even the weather seemed aware of it as the sun shone down brightly on the silver skyscrapers and the brand new museum built into the city square.
To celebrate the city’s greatest superhero, the grand, new museum had been dedicated to the city’s greatest hero: The Brighton Shepherd. In between the two buildings was a giant curtain, hiding a 55 foot statue for the superhero.
Reporters came to the site as early as 6 am before the crowds could roll in. Among them was the up-and-coming journalist, Chase Brody, who ran the news vlog: “Just Your Average Report”. Wearing a brand new grey and white suit to honour the Shepherd’s signature colour, Chase did vocal warm-ups while his cameraman, Anthony, set up the equipment. Unlike Chase, who had dressed handsomely for the occasion, Anthony simply wore a graphic t-shirt and a fishing vest with blue jeans. Chase tried not to let that get to him. In all the fifteen months he’d known Anthony, Chase had never seen the man wear anything other than graphic tees and the fishing vest. Today obviously wasn’t much different to Anthony.
“We’re on!” Anthony said. Chase held up his microphone in time for the camera light to turn red; he exclaimed, “Happy Brighton Shepherd Day, Brighton City! It’s a beautiful day in our beautiful downtown, where we’re here to honour a beautiful man: The Brighton Shepherd. His heart is as big as an ocean that’s inside a bigger ocean. For years, he’s been watching us with his super-vision, saving us with his super strength, and caring for us with his super heart. Now, it’s our turn to give something back! This is Chase Brody, reporting live from the dedication of the Brighton Shepherd Museum.”
Chase signaled to Anthony, who snorted as he turned the camera off.
“Damn, the stuff the producers make you read nowadays is incredibly cheesy. Have you considered writing your own stuff?”
“I have. That was one of my pieces,” Chase said with a grin. He reveled in Anthony’s look of horror.
“I mean… I can’t believe that in our modern day society, they let… actual art get onto the news,” Anthony stammered out.
“Nice save, Anthony.”
“Cool. Can we go get a coffee now?”
“Come on, it’s time to get into the Brighton Shepherd Day spirit!” Chase said, nudging his coworker.
Anthony rolled his eyes. “Please. If the Brighton Shepherd really was all that great, he’d be able to properly protect you from the Malevolent and his crazy Doctor. For someone who gets kidnapped and rescued all the time, you sure don’t have good security.”
Chase sighed. This debate again. “I mean, it’s good for my channel! I get to film bits and pieces of the Malevolent’s laboratory! Great publicity.”
“You take too many chances with that man, I swear. What happens if the Malevolent snaps and gets violent with you? The Shepherd and his sidekick won’t be there to protect you. You could die, Chase.”
“The Malevolent won’t hurt me. If he truly wanted to, he would have done so the first time he kidnapped me,” Chase snapped. “If anything, he just wants me for more publicity. I am a popular news source.”
“Yeah? Well, they don’t always strike at first sight, Lois Lane. The dude might be waiting for the perfect moment to torture you,” Anthony continued. “I mean, even if he doesn’t invent the machines, his sidekick is smart enough to make them! I swear that man has seen some stuff and wants to inflict it on the city.”
“The Malevolent and Doctor never want to torture. Their machines may look scary at first, but they’re useless. They only want to scare.”
Anthony began loading up the truck. “You’re too trusting.The Malevolent Magician has the power to mutilate and kill in ways your “friendship-is-magic” brain could never comprehend. The Doctor is no better. They’re both just waiting to strike. Once they do, the Shepherd’s presence won’t feel so reassuring, hm?”
Anthony had his back turned long enough for Chase to feel a cold presence beside him. The smell of gas flooded his senses. The reporter turned to hear a window roll down, though he didn’t see a car. Odd.
Instead a white plague doctor mask glared back at him. Chase groaned. Here he thought he might be able to avoid being kidnapped and used as leverage by the Malevolent Magician. Apparently not! The Malevolent’s sidekick, simply known as the Doctor, was here to claim his damsel in distress.
The Doctor raised a spray bottle and squirted it directly in Chase’s face. Chase barely had time to scream as a sudden drowsiness overtook him and the whole world went dark.
*
Step one was complete. The annoying vlogger was in the back of the van. With that accomplished, it was time to pick up the villain. Dr. Henrik von Schneeplestein, known to the city as the sidekick to the Malevolent Magician, drove through the busy town square and out of the main city.
The prison where the Malevolent lay was outside of town in a secluded location, or rather, in the middle of the highway leading into the city. Despite its odd location, the security was incredible. 200 security officers patrolled the site, with at least three officers supervising a special room under intense lock and key. The Malevolent himself was usually locked in large chains that only unlocked at certain times, or if Mal had behaved himself for a certain amount of time.
Schneep arrived to see the prison in chaos. Sirens blared loud enough to burst a person’s eardrums while police ran into the grey building, yelling to each other and pulling out their guns.
Amid all the chaos stood a man with a thick white moustache, standing in front of the large electrical gates, The man held up his wrist enough for Schneep to spy a silver watch on his wrist and sighed in relief. The watch had worked.
“Well, hello, good looking. Need a ride?” Schneep said, opening the door.
“Always, my dear doctor!” the man said as he hopped in. He slammed the door closed as Schneep slammed his foot on the gas and flew off.
The man twisted the watch’s case and transformed back into Malevolent. The supervillain turned to Schneep with an evil grin. “Nice job sending me the watch, Doctor! Let’s ride!”
“As you wish, my Wickedness!” Schneep yelled.
The maltreatment Mal received from the prison was not lost on the doctor. His sharp cheekbones were grimy and more pronounced, and his wrists were almost skeletal. Dark shadows hung below his eyes, and it was not from eyeliner. Schneep held back a sad sigh. Thank goodness he left a snack for Mal when they returned to the evil lair. That part could be solved.
*
Back at Brighton City Square, the show was ready to begin. As city officials made their speeches, two superheroes waited behind a painted brick wall to make an entrance.
The illustrious Brighton Shepherd fixed his mask and combed his dark brown hair back. Beside him was his sidekick: the Red Marauder, clad in red, green, and blue leather. Marauder kept peeking behind the wall.
“Malevolent is safe behind bars as of right now, you can relax, Jackie,” Shepherd said, rubbing his protégé’s back.
“I can’t find Chase!” Marauder whispered back. “I’ve scanned the crowds three times and there’s no sign of his face.”
“Perhaps he’s stuck in traffic?” Shepherd said, smoothing out the creases in Marauder’s blue cape. His sidekick really needed to learn how to take care of himself.
“He would have sent me a text if that had happened,” Marauder said with a sigh.
“Went for a cup of coffee with Anthony?”
Marauder turned to the crowd. “Anthony is currently eating a donut by one of the food vendors. I think Malevolent and the Doctor kidnapped Chase again!” His eyes filled with tears.
The Shepherd sighed and put a hand on Marauder’s shoulder. “Okay, when the mayor does her speech, we’ll do a quick speedrun through town. He can’t be far. Don’t worry, we’ll get him back.”
Marauder nodded, blinking back tears. No time to cry when there’s a battle.
“Shepherd? It’s time,” an employee whispered. The Brighton Shepherd cracked his neck.
“Show time, baby.” He punched the painted brick wall concealing him, creating a perfect hole. “Alright, put your hands in the air!” he yelled to the crowd.
*
The lair lit up as the car entered and parked in its appointed place. Marvin threw the door open and breathed in the familiar smell of the evil, abandoned, Monster Munch snack factory. A long time ago, it smelled of moldy cheese puffs and rat manure, but now it smelled of malevolence, metal, and a whole lot of cologne.
No matter how many times he arrived, the sweet scent always relaxed the supervillain after a hard day in jail or fighting the Shepherd. “Oh Doc, there’s no place like our evil lair!”
“I’ve kept it cold and damp, just the way you like it!” Schneep said, hauling the sleeping Chase out of the car.
A swarm of tiny robots flew over to Marvin, their engines whirring with delight. The model was a small purple circle with four robotic legs that could grip and lift up to 1,000 pounds. Of course, each had cat ears attached to the sides of their heads and a cat tail at the back. The CATs, Marvin had fondly called them. Their singular glowing yellow eyes in the center of their body looked up at their darling master.
“The CATs have certainly missed you, sir!” Schneep exclaimed.
Marvin bent down to caress their smooth heads. “Did you miss your daddy? Who’s a menacing little android? You are, yes, you are!”
One CAT held up a ball of twine. Marvin grabbed it and tossed it across the lair, the CATs trailing after it.
Two older models of the CATs held up a curtain while two others held up Marvin’s new suit. Marvin gratefully ripped off the ugly bluish-grey prison rags and changed into his white button-up, black dress pants, and sparkly purple vest. A CAT draped his famous black cloak with magenta lining around his shoulders while another handed him his beautiful cat mask with the magician’s card designs drawn on. He happily donned the mask with pride and stepped out.
“How do I look, Doctor? Do I look evil?” Marvin asked, spinning.
“Horrifyingly striking, sir,” Schneep said. He opened a small gate to an elevator platform, “Shall we?”
At the top, Schneep set Chase down on a chair while Marvin checked all the monitors and buttons.
“Everything ready?”
“Of course! I would never leave anything unchecked before a big event!” Schneep said. Beside the doctor, Chase began to stir, grunting and yelling muffled by the bag.
“He’s awake! Quick everyone, places!” Marvin ordered. He jumped onto his chair and motioned a small CAT to lie down in his lap while he fixed his hair once more.
Schneep ripped the bag off of Chase’s head as Marvin twirled his chair around, menacingly stroking the CAT. “Mr. Brody, we meet again.”
“Would it kill you to wash the bag?” Chase complained, “it fucking stinks and the spray bottle is no better!”
“You can scream all you want, Brody, I’m afraid no one can hear you!” Malevolent announced. Chase remained stone-faced.
Marvin frowned. “Why isn’t he screaming?”
Schneep sighed exasperatedly and bent down next to Chase, “Mr. Brody, if you don’t mind-”
“Screaming sounds a lot like this: aaaahhhhh!” Malevolent demonstrated. “I mean, that’s a poor example but-”
The CAT sitting on his lap bit his hand. Malevolent emitted a high-pitched shriek as he tried to shake the little robot off.
“Not to sound like a sadist but it’s more fun when you do it,” Chase deadpanned.
“Very funny,” the Doctor snapped. “You’ll be singing a different tune when the Brighton Shepherd is defeated right before your eyes!”
Ignoring both of them, Chase decided to examine the observatory, the usual spot for Malevolent and Shepherd’s battles. Most of it was the usual, a long control booth circling the room, full of buttons and levers that would release death traps, lasers, and other lame inventions. Above the panel were monitors of different sizes. On one side of the elevator was a broken vending machine where Doctor grabbed his sleeping spray, while on the other side was a strange metal sphere with axes and spikes sticking out of it (Chase asked and even Malevolent had no idea what it was).
“Speaking of watching, do you have your camera set up?” Malevolent asked, finally yanking off the biting CAT.
“Yup! It’s in the pin this time! Anthony helped me set it up!” Chase puffed his chest out to show it off.
Malevolent ran a hand through his thick black hair and twirled around, letting his cape fly in the wind.
“So guys, what’s on the menu for today? Robosheep? Typhoon cheese? A big ball of aluminum that will roll around town?” Chase asked.
Behind his plague doctor mask, Schneeplestein grinned. It was his time to shine! “Actually, we created a cool ray that uses the sun to make explosive lasers, wanna see?!” He excitedly rushed over to the main control booth and began typing in the passcode to turn it on.
Marvin yelped and pulled Schneep away from the booth, “Easy there, Doc, we’ll show it in time!”
“Brody wanted to see it!” Schneep protested. “It’s not like it would hurt, would it?”
“Think, Doctor! He’s using his nosy reporter skills to find out all our secrets!” Malevolent accused, snarling at Chase.
Chase rolled his eyes, chuckling. These two could be quite entertaining. “What secrets?! You’re so predictable!”
“Oh, that’s the insult for today?! Tell me, my dear Brody, would you call this predictable?” Marvin pulled down a lever and the floor around Chase opened up.
“Your alligators, yes!” Chase nodded in greeting to the snapping reptiles. “Yeah, I was just thinking about these guys on the way over!”
Truth be told, Chase was dreaming of riding a large parrot to Disney World while in the car. But Malevolent didn’t need to know that.
Marvin turned back to the panel. How dare Chase see through his armour?! He quickly slammed a button. “What about this?”
A sharp razor painted blood red danced in Chase’s face. “That’s kind of tacky.”
Marvin punched another button and a junky invention of multiple chainsaws attached to the ceiling lowered down. The chainsaws had gotten their chains stuck to each other and could barely move. Chase pretended to contemplate it. “Mm, juvenile.”
Marvin pulled another lever. “What about this?!”
A giant fart gun shot green gas out. Chase gagged. “Gross and immature!”
“What’s this one do?!” A weak fire machine coughed out small bits of fire.
“That’s just sad,” Chase said. He looked up and nearly jumped out of his seat. A small spider floated downwards. “Is the spider new?”
Marvin turned to Schneeplestein, who merely shrugged. When this was all over, Marvin was going to give him a stern talking to about bug extermination in the lair.
“Ah yes, the spe-dair-a,” Marvin whispered as he advanced closer to Chase. “Even the smallest bite from Arachnis Deathicus will instantly paralyze-”
Chase blew the spider onto Marvin’s cheek, causing him to scream again. Schneep punched him hard enough to knock him over.
“GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!! IT BIT MEEEEE!!!” Marvin screamed as Schneep continually smacked him with a newspaper. The spider fell off of Marvin’s cheek and began advancing to the control panel.
“STOP IT BEFORE IT DISAPPEARS!” Marvin howled as he crawled away from the disgusting creature.
After five minutes of Marvin’s dramatic wails and crawling and Schneep swearing like a sailor, Chase finally put an end to the spider’s life by stomping on it when it got close enough.
Marvin crawled over to Chase and grovelled at his bound feet. “Thank you, you are a lifesaver!” He suddenly spied the pin. “Is that still on?”
Chase smiled smugly, “I’ll burn the evidence if you let me go and we’ll never speak of it again.”
Marvin stood up, scowling, “Absolutely not! We haven’t even gotten to the fun part! Let’s pay your boyfriend and godfather a visit, shall we?”
*
Back at the town square, the mayor had finished up her rather short speech, “It is with great pleasure that I present Brighton Shepherd to his new museum! When you’re ready!”
Shepherd’s laser eyes cut the rope and the great curtains fell, revealing the giant statue of the superhero. A brass band played loudly over the sound of a cheering crowd.
Jackie applauded happily for his mentor, but couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous. In all fairness, the Shepherd had been around longer than he had, and he was still familiarizing himself with the city.
A sudden chill running up his arms woke Jackie from his thoughts. He looked up and gasped. Dark clouds quickly enveloped the museum. People shrieked in terror as a big, black blimp hovered above the great building, rolling down two large projection screens underneath. Once positioned on each side of the magnificent statue, a small circular robot holding a camera turned the screens on, showing the face of the one to blame for the chaos: the Malevolent.
The Brighton Shepherd and the Red Marauder flew up, Shepherd holding up a microphone.
“If it isn’t the Malevolent!”
“Bravo, Brighton Shepherd! Congratulations on your new museum!” Malevolent drawled, clapping slowly.
The crowd began to boo loudly. Malevolent blew a raspberry at the crowd, “So immature!” he scoffed.
“Should have known you’d try and crash the party!” Shepherd said.
“Oh, I intend to do more than crash it! This will be a historic day you, and Brighton City, will not soon forget!”
“We all know how this ends!” Shepherd said. “With you behind bars!”
“Ooh, I tremble in my kitten-skinned cape,” Malevolent hissed, playfully wrapping himself up in his cape. The cape was actually made from cotton, but the city didn’t need to know that.
“What do you want with us, Mal?” Shepherd demanded.
“First off, don’t call me ‘Mal’,” Malevolent snapped. “Secondly, if you and your tomato sidekick don’t leave town in an hour, then this will be the last you ever hear of Chase Brody!” Malevolent punched a button and the left screen presented the kidnapped Chase tied to a chair.
“I knew it!” Jackie muttered behind his mask.
“Don’t panic Chase! We’re on our way!” Shepherd cried out, earning a cheer from the crowd.
“I’m not panicking!” Chase responded, smiling.
Malevolent pretended to gag. “Oh, please. You have to find us first before you save Chase.”
“We’re at the abandoned observatory!” Chase quickly called out.
Malevolent suddenly turned off Chase’s camera, yelping, “WAIT DON’T TO LISTEN TO HIM-”
It was too late. Shepherd and Marauder were already flying above the dark grey smoke. Shepherd quickly spotted the broken down space observatory near the dangerous part of Brighton City beach and pointed it to Marauder. The two began their flight.
Back at the lair, Schneep watched the superheroes from his monitor. “Shepherd and Marauder approaching, sir!”
Marvin turned to Chase, who shot him a smug grin. Marvin only smiled in return.
“Like we said, you’ll be singing a different tune when you see what we have planned!”
The Shepherd would almost be here. Chase closed his eyes and ducked his head for the inevitable ceiling crash.
Shepherd and Marauder flew through the opening of the observatory and landed. Or rather, Shepherd landed gracefully on his feet while Marauder tripped and fell over. Behind them, the heavy doors slid shut.
Shepherd looked around. The place was quiet and eerily empty. No sound of any cat-bots. No evil laughter from the Malevolent.
“Something’s wrong…” Shepherd muttered. He turned to the doors. Were they locked in?! He ran over to check.
Puzzled, Chase looked up. Where were they?
Malevolent reveled in Brody’s confused expression. He fiddled with the control panel, opening up one of the walls.
“You didn’t think we were in the real observatory… did you?!”
Chase could stare in horror as he spotted the real observatory. He couldn’t believe it. He had led the two superheroes right into a trap.
Malevolent laughed triumphantly. “Ready the Death Ray, Doctor!”
Doctor typed in the passcode and pulled the lever down. “Death Ray ready-ing!”
In the real abandoned observatory, Shepherd and Marauder desperately tried to get the doors open.
“I can’t believe Malevolent actually tricked us! How did he seal the doors?!” Marauder moaned.
“Don’t worry Red, we’ll find a way out,” Shepherd said, smiling.
“Over here, boys,” a voice like ice called out. The superheroes turned to see a large projection of Malevolent smiling down on them.
“In case you haven’t noticed, you’ve fallen right into my trap!” Malevolent boasted.
The Shepherd motioned Marauder to find an escape before turning to Malevolent. “You can’t trap justice! It’s an idea! A belief!”
“Well sometimes the most heartfelt belief can be corroded over time!” Malevolent responded.
“Justice is a non-corrosive metal!”
“Then I will just melt it with the heat of revenge!”
“FYI, revenge is best served cold!” Shepherd corrected him. From the side, Marauder shook his head. As much as he respected his mentor and feared Malevolent, their “witty back-and-forth banter” was lame.
“It can easily be reheated in the microwave of evil! Don’t doubt me!” Malevolent snarled.
“Well I think your warranty is about to expire!” Shepherd declared.
“Fuck you, I have an extended warranty!” Malevolent retaliated.
“Language, my dear sir! And warranties are invalid if you don’t use the product for its intended purpose!” Shepherd roared.
“OH! Girls, girls, you’re both pretty!” Chase yelled from his seat. He turned to Malevolent, exasperated, “My whole body is sore. Can I just go home now?!”
Malevolent turned around to throw an empty can of Cola at Chase. It bonked off the side of his head.
“You’ll just have to wait, dear Brody! Your beloved superheroes first must prove if they can escape the inevitable power of the sun! Fire!”
Marauder conjured a shield for himself and Shepherd. When the Shepherd made no move to protect himself, Marauder realized nothing was coming. What happened?
Meanwhile, Marvin approached Schneep and the machine. Schneep learned against the panel, snoring softly. Marvin poked him, “Doctor, wake up!”
Schneep startled, “Oh! Sorry!” He turned to the machine, “The machine is still warming up. I expect we have a few more minutes before it fires.”
Marvin’s face turned as red as Marauder’s suit. “Warming up?! The sun is warming up?!”
Chase started laughing, “The sore arms and legs are definitely worth this riot. Just you wait, the Shepherd and Marauder will be on you in min-”
Malevolent tossed another empty can at Chase. Chase immediately shut up. “That’s better.”
“Don’t worry Chase, we’re on our way!” Marauder yelled from the monitor.
Malevolent stomped over to the camera, “Get here faster, I’m this close to throwing his stupid ass off the balcony!”
This caused Marauder to flip. “Hang in there Chase, I’m coming!” He rocketed up to fly out, only to crash into the ceiling and fall back down unceremoniously.
“Marauder, we’ve talked about this! You need to think before you do anything!” Shepherd lightly scolded. “Now, what do we have that can create a hole in the wall?”
“This whole day is a mess…” Doctor muttered from his spot at the panel.
“I’m sorry, whose side are you on?!” Malevolent demanded.
“The losing side!” Chase interjected.
“Everybody shut up,” Malevolent ordered. He sighed, rubbing his temples. “You know what? I need to take a nap. Call me when the ray is ready!”
“The ray is ready!” Doctor announced. In seconds a bright beam of yellow flew down, destroying the observatory in seconds. Fire and burning metal fell out of the demolished observatory, some of it flying directly towards the lair.
Malevolent quickly waved his hands in a circular motion, muttering. A shimmering purple bubble wrapped around Doctor and Chase. As debris rained down, Malevolent deflected them with bursts of purple fireworks. Chase watched in amazement, gaping.
“I keep forgetting he can do magic...” Chase muttered. “He uses so much technology instead.”
Doctor laughed, “Well, he’s not called the Magician for nothing.”
When the commotion calmed down and the debris stopped coming, Marvin twirled around, blowing a stray hair out his eye. The bright glow of the burning observatory behind the magician outlined his epic form. “Did your camera get that, Brody?”
Two more pieces of falling debris gracelessly smashed into Marvin. Chase happily squealed upon seeing the dusty forms of the Brighton Shepherd and the Red Marauder.
“I… should have seen that coming,” Marvin squeaked. “How did you escape so fast?”
“Laser eyes are a wonderful thing!” Marauder answered, giving Marvin a playful wink as he stood up. Marvin stuck his tongue out.
“The gig is up, Mal. We’re taking you back to jail, where you belong!” Shepherd declared. Marvin sighed and slammed his head down on the floor. Naturally, he lost. Again.
Schneep’s distressed cries snapped Marvin back to attention. He turned to his head to see Marauder on top of a struggling Schneep. Schneep’s whimpers and half-sobs were lost on Marauder, who continued tying his wrists behind him.
“Might as well send the Malevolent’s accomplice to jail as well! That way he won’t escape again!” the sidekick reasoned.
Something in Marvin snapped. “NO!” he screamed, startling the Shepherd. With his nemesis off his back, Marvin set his eyes on Brody and magically put the reporter in a choke hold.
Chase gasped raggedly as the air left his lungs.
Marvin whirled around to face Marauder, growling, “Let the doctor go!”
“Get your hands off Chase!” Marauder yelped, staring helplessly at his struggling brother.
“First, free the doctor!” Marvin shouted. He tightened his grip on Chase, lifting him out of the chair.
“Put Chase down!” Marauder roared, eyes glowing red.
Chase wheezed pathetically, black spots darting in his vision. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe. He let out a strangled sob, tears falling. In all his time with Malevolent… he had never felt so scared.
Jackie’s eyes lost their glow and he loosened his grip on the Doctor. Underneath him, the Doctor moaned in pain.
“Let him go, Red.” Jackie turned to Shepherd in shock. The usually optimistic and brightly-smiling superhero had a grim expression on his face. Jackie spluttered.
“B- but- The Doctor will just free the Malevolent again! We could stop them both once and for all-”
“You heard me. Let him go,” Shepherd ordered. Reluctantly, Jackie stood up and backed away from the Doctor. The shaking man took no time running to the stairs and quickly disappearing.
Marvin waited until Schneep’s footsteps faded away before releasing Chase, gently laying him down. Chase gulped in tearful breaths, his body trembling. Marauder rushed over to free Chase while Shepherd tied the magician’s hands behind him.
The minute his hands were free, Chase threw his arms around Jackie. Jackie gently hugged him.
“Are you okay?” Jackie whispered. Chase nodded, still gasping.
“I’ll take Malevolent to jail,” the Shepherd said. “You get Chase to a hospital!” He took off, Malevolent dangling in his arms. The magician waved goodbye as he and the Shepherd disappeared into the city.
Jackie picked up Chase bridal style and started flying as well.
He kept the flight light and steady to keep Chase from getting sick. Chase buried his head in Jackie’s shoulder for most of the trip, eyes squeezed shut. He hated heights.
As they arrived at the hospital, a medical team waited outside to take Chase in. After the first few kidnappings, a special team offered to dedicate themselves to healing Chase in case he needed it.
“Ja-Jackie?” Chase stuttered. Jackie looked down at his almost unconscious friend.
“Ma-Make sure th-this doesn’t reach An-Anthony, oh-ok?” Chase begged between gasps.
Jackie nodded, confused. “Alright… I won’t tell him.”
*
The cell stunk. No one here ever bothered to put an air freshener in his jail cell, despite Marvin’s numerous polite requests to have it put in. According to the security guards, the Malevolent “could use it as a weapon” or a “gas bomb”. Please.
Marvin sighed as best as he could. As if to enact revenge for strangling Chase, the security staff had clamped an even smaller chain around his neck, making it hard to breathe. Or move. Or do anything. The rest of his body wasn’t much better, with a larger chain wrapped around his waist and movement sensory chains bruising his wrists. If he tried using any magic, the chains on his wrist would shock him. After today, electrocution was the last thing Marvin needed.
Marvin looked up to check the premises. After checking to make sure the guards were gone, Marvin snapped his fingers, careful not to move his wrists too much. Immediately, the chains loosened, allowing Marvin to take a shuddering gasp. He knew the minute he heard the guards coming to check on him, he had to tighten them again, so he took advantage of the situation.
At least the Doctor was free. He wasn’t being made to sit in a stinky, small cell, wrapped in large chains that threatened to strangle him at any moment. He was free to relax after a hard day, planning for the next breakout. For now, Schneep could rest.
Marvin leaned back against his chair, closing his eyes. Schneeplestein would help him escape again. For now, the magician himself will think of another plan to get back at the Brighton Shepherd.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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#marvin the magnificent#jacksepticeye#writersofjack#writers of jack#jackieboy man#jse egos#writing#immabethehero#marvin megamind au#apparently i can write
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Itty bitty oneshot. Roxanne gets accidentally de-aged to 5.
Cue panic
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"You're mean!"
"Yes I know!"
"And stupid!"
"I would beg to differ but circumstances being what they are and all- Ow! Stop throwing things!"
"And blue!"
"I'm meant to be blue!"
"Oh." Big blue eyes in a teeny tiny face blinked up at him and a lip wobbled, “Where’s Auntie Helen?”
"She’s run away to join the circus...No no please don’t cry! Don't cry! I order you not to cry!"
The lip wobbled harder.
"Look aaah brain-bots! This is Hey You and Moth and Spikeless and they would really, really like you to throw a wrench for them. Can you do that?"
A tiny hand reached out and the other end of the wrench clunked onto the floor.
"Okay that might have been a bit heavy. Um...Pats! Just pats! No biting! I said no biting! That goes for you too young lady!"
Megamind stared at Minion over the cluster of brain-bots in dismay.
"Minion! Minion this is a disaster! What do we do?"
"Well Sir the computer indicates this should only be a temporary issue. She should re-age back up to her correct age within fourteen to forty-six hours"
"Fourteen...forty-six hours?! Minion no that is impossible we have to make this happen faster!"
"I'm working on it Sir"
"We wouldn't even get the lair baby-proofed in time- Put that down!"
"I'm not a baby I'm five!" a sticky hand was held up in evidence. How were her hands sticky already?
"Child-proofed then!"
"The brain-bots are already covering everything with foam Sir”
“Oh good, that’s not going to be a disaster to clean up”
“Sorry Sir”
"Oh whatever. Miss Ritchi- Roxanne please...put down that raygun!"
"My name's not Roxanne! Its Rocket!"
"...Minion I've changed my mind. We're keeping her"
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Daddymind
“Roxy?”
As Megamind entered the clean white hospital room, he found his wife asleep in the bed; her hair a mess.
“Looks like she passed out from exhaustion.” Minion commented.
Megamind wasn’t listening, however. He was too busy having a realization.
“She’s here...” he said quietly, eyes wide.
“What did you say, sir?” Minion asked, having not heard him.
“SHE’S HERE!!” Megamind answered, now shouting. “MY BEAUTIFUL BABY DAUGHTER IS HERE!!” he added, shaking Minion’s robosuit.
“coNgRAtuLaTIOnS...” Minion responded dizzily.
“What do you think she’ll look like, Minion?” Megamind asked. “Do you think she’ll look like me?”
“Possibly. And she might have her mother’s hair.” Minion answered.
Megamind scoffed. “What’s wrong with my hair?” he asked.
“...You’re bald, sir.” Minion answered.
“And I’m gorgeous!” Megamind exclaimed proudly. Minion smiled and rolled his eyes.
*Click* Creeeeeaak...
They both turned their attention to the door when it suddenly opened. It was a nurse, and Megamind gasped when he saw a white bundle in her arms.
It took a few seconds for her to notice him. “Oh! You’re here!” she said when she finally did.
“I-Is that...m-my...” Megamind could only get a few words to come out of his mouth, but the nurse knew what he was saying. She giggled before answering. “Yep! Here you are!”
Megamind’s heart began to race. This was it. This was the biggest moment in his life since his wedding day. Once he was holding the bundle, the nurse said to call her if they needed anything and left the room with a “Toodle-loo!”
Of course, Megamind didn’t listen. He finally got to see his daughter for the first time and he was entranced.
She had blue skin like him, but her hair was brown like Minion said; although it was darker than Roxanne’s. Her left eye was green like his, but her right eye...
“Why is her right eye white?” Megamind asked, looking at it confusedly. Minion hesitated, not wanting to say what it was, but he knew he had to.
“She’s blind in that eye, sir. She can only see from her left one.” he finally said. He thought his friend would be upset about this, but to his surprise, he wasn’t.
Instead, he smiled lovingly down at his little child. “No matter. She’s still perfect.”
“Like a little piece of Heaven.” Minion added, looking at her over his shoulder.
Just then a thought entered Megamind’s head. “I like that name.” he said.
“Heaven?” Minion asked.
“Yes. It’s angelic, just like her.” Megamind answered, gently hugging her.
When she let out a tiny yawn, he lightly kissed her forehead to let her know that no harm would come to her while she slept.
Minion smiled again. He couldn’t be happier for his friend.
He knew he would be a great dad.
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Daylight and Dark Ch. 1 - First Night
Photo by Joe Waranont
Read the full fan fiction HERE
This is an excerpt. Due to Tumblr’s regulations, the second half of this chapter is only available on AO3. The full fiction is not child-friendly!
Summary: Months after Titan's defeat, Roxanne faces concerns as she and Megamind's relationship grows more serious. Soon, however, she learns that may be the least of her problems. Metro City's new hero has a dangerous past, and loving him comes with as many perils as benefits. Mystery, drama, romance, and humor.
RATING: Explicit. WARNINGS: violence, sex, language, references to prior domestic abuse, and rock n’ roll!
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f I should labor through daylight and dark,
Consecrate, valorous, serious, true,
Then on the world I may blazon my mark;
And what if I don't, and what if I do?
—Dorothy Parker
Roxanne Ritchi stared at her reflection without really seeing it.
Tonight. It was going to be tonight. She had waited, fretted, but no more. It had to be tonight.
Perhaps this moment had been too long in coming. It wasn't as if she didn't want it to—she adored him, she was undeniably attracted to him, and she was completely unbothered by their physical differences—but there was a part of Roxanne that had been affected more than she liked to admit by past disappointments. She described her approach to relationships as "circumspect" and "judicious," but, if she was honest, she was, in reality, a coward. Not that she was afraid of Megamind, of course; that would have been ridiculous. Her concerns were harder to define than that. What she feared was, she supposed, perfection, or rather the relentless feeling that anything this perfect had to be inevitably doomed. After all, past experiences with men had all ended in disaster—she was either too aloof or too intense, depending on which of her exes you asked— and it seemed that the better relationships were in the beginning, the more spectacularly they failed in the end. In fact, the reporter had already resigned herself to a single life, throwing herself completely into her work, when along came a certain blue alien. Now, deep down, she was afraid that something would go wrong—especially when their relationship was already complicated by its very nature. Perhaps that was the real heart of the issue: her love affair with Megamind was complex in so many ways, even more than the expected difficulties entailed in dating any Defender, and some of those issues revolved around things neither she nor her blue boyfriend could control.
Even so, she had made her decision, and she wasn't going to back down. It was going to be tonight.
A knock snapped Roxanne's eyes back into focus, and she frowned at her incomplete makeup. Hurriedly finishing her mascara and applying some russet red, long-wear lipstick, she swept all her cosmetics back into a drawer. An extra spray of perfume for good measure, and that would have to do. Fanning her mouth with her hands to dry the lip color, Roxanne walked briskly through the living room to her apartment's front door.
Megamind was standing in the hall, eyes fixed pensively off into the distance. It was a look she was growing to expect whenever she left him waiting too long; the double-edge sword of his massive intellect was that he was always thinking, always wondering, his thoughts never still. The sound of the door brought him back to attention, and he smiled. She threw her arms around him— their usual greeting— and gave him a quick peck on the lips.
Nerves sang and sparked. She hated that she was as fidgety as a maiden bride. While she believed that, like alcohol and tobacco, sex should be "enjoyed responsibly," Roxanne had slept with a respectable number of men. It had been years since the idea of it had made her jittery. Until now. Maybe it was her long hiatus from the dating pool—very few men were willing to move on a woman supposedly dating someone with lasers in his eyes—or maybe it was Megamind's charm coupled with the intensity of her feelings for him, but, whatever the reason, something about the city's hero made her feel like she was in high school once more: heart fluttering and stomach slightly queasy. If only that were the sole reason for the butterflies beneath her skin.
"Sorry to keep you waiting," she smiled again, looking into eyes so green they glowed.
His expression was tender as he turned his gaze down to her's— something that, at only two inches taller than Roxanne, he only managed to do when they were this close. And when she was wearing flats. For a moment Roxanne silently praised the work-sore feet that had prompted her to opt for more comfortable shoes this evening.
Clearly, the blue alien had been on duty today as he was dressed in his familiar dark leathers. For a short time, Megamind had tried wearing white— had even gone as far as to build a new super suit that imitated Metro Man's powers— but thankfully Minion had convinced him that it was better to be his own brand of hero. And he'd been right. Not only did Roxanne prefer her boyfriend's bad boy look for reasons of her own, but even the most hardened criminals had grown to fear the black-clad Defender of Metro City while citizens had grown to accept Megamind for himself.
Will that continue after tonight, if people find out? Or will the same public that praises him today turn against him tomorrow?
"Don't worry, it's alright," the blue hero assured her. Roxanne startled for a moment— how did he know what she was thinking?— before she realized that he'd been referring to the wait. "I was just considering how I might turn one of your windows into a transparent glass monitor," he continued. "It would require some creative engineering, but I think it could be done. Then I could build you a smaller version of the supercomputer in my lair, and ta-da! It could function as a window until activated, and then you could use it to communicate with me in my workroom, or research, or to—" seeing her quizzically amused expression, he caught himself in mid-thought and cleared his throat. He and Roxanne had agreed to just have a normal, relaxing date, and it seemed to occur to him that this might not fit the description. "Erm, these are for you," he finished sheepishly, proffering a bouquet of yellow daisies, orange and gold cosmos, gardenias, and red and white roses.
He always brought her daisies, ever since she had mentioned once in passing how much she loved the ones in Hill Top Park. Bouquets turned up at her office every Thursday like clockwork. She didn't even mind that some of the interns got all girlish and giggly about it.
Roxanne accepted the flowers, inhaling the blossoms' sweet scents before saying: "They're beautiful. Come on inside." She pulled him in, leaning up to give him another kiss as she reached around him to shut the door. "I've always wondered: what are these?" she continued, touching tiny white clustered flowers with one hand. "It seems like they're in every single bouquet I've ever seen, but no one ever mentions what they're called."
"Ah, yes, that's Gypsophila, Baby's Breath. And you're right, it is a common addition to bouquets... I think for artistic reasons. What's wrong? Do you dislike it?"
"What? No, not at all..."
"What is it? You look like you just smelled something horrible. I can take the Gypsophila out."
"Oh, no, that's not necessary. It's nothing... just..."
Baby's breath. Oh God. Roxanne tried to ignore the skittering tightness in her heart.
What if she got pregnant? What would the world say to the first half-human child? She was a responsible adult, of course, and she wasn't rushing into this unprepared, but even so... Sex was designed to make babies, and no matter how careful a girl was, sometimes it did just that. Her cousin Theresa, who had conceived her third child while she and her husband were using both pills and condoms, was living proof.
Realizing she'd been quiet too long, Roxanne thought quickly. "It's just that that's an odd name for a flower, isn't it? I mean, it doesn't really look like breath."
"No stranger than Forget-Me-Nots or Grandmother's Lace." He shrugged. "Flower names are just weird."
"At least Grandmother's Lace sort of looks like lace," she laughed, more at herself than anything else. "But you're probably right. Either way, these really are gorgeous," Roxanne smiled again. "I love them."
"I'm glad," he grinned. "I've been studying Floriography."
"Flori-what?"
"The language of flowers."
"I didn't know flowers talked," she joked.
"Very funny. You've read enough classic literature to know what I mean."
"I do, and you're very sweet," she answered, retrieving a vase from the small china hutch in her living room, and leading him into the kitchen. "Let's see… Roses are for love, right?"
"Love and affection, depending on the color."
"And these colors are?" She asked, setting the vase on the counter and turning to face him.
His cheeks flushed a little, the expression of shy pleasure at odds with his tough-guy persona. It was unreasonably adorable. "The red ones mean: 'my love for you is passionate,'" he explained. "And the white ones mean: 'my love for you is pure.'"
She felt her heart do a happy, ridiculous little flip, and turned her head to give him a smile that felt embarrassingly shy and girlish. "Oh."
This was always his way: thoughtful, charming, romantic, foolishly sentimental… Yet he never begrudged her her independence; never complained when she had to break a date for a hot news story or an overdue deadline. He just told her to stop by the Lair on the way home if she had the time, and sent over a packed dinner via brainbot with a note saying something like: "You won't forget to eat, will you? Love, MM." And then there was the way he fully embraced her for who she was, skipping typical dates in favor of afternoons in bookshops, long days in the park, weekends exploring quirky little-known museums, and dinners at hidden gems serving unexpectedly excellent cuisine or wonderfully authentic international dishes.
"Are you sure you're not telepathic?" she asked, only half in jest. It was something she'd questioned him about before.
"I think I would notice if I were." His expression turned teasing. "Perhaps, Miss Ritchi, you are simply too... Predictable."
"Jerk," she laughed, trimming the edges of the flowers under the running tap.
"Villain," he corrected, gesturing to himself. "One of the good guys, now, but still a villain," he moved close. "And a devilishly handsome one at that."
"Hmm. I can't argue with the last part."
"That's because you have excellent taste." God, why did his smirk have to look like dark secrets and wanton promises? "Really, though, Sweetheart," he added, his smile gentling. "I know you because I love you."
"I love you, too."
She truly did, and the fact that someone as brilliant and charming as Megamind loved her back sometimes still filled her with soft surprise. More than that, however, he respected her. He trusted her. Following their defeat of Titan, Megamind had not only granted her nearly unfettered access to his secret Lair— something unheard of in the past— but, keenly aware that the sudden cessation of her regular kidnappings could affect her career, he had also allowed her to join him in some of his more noteworthy heroic battles. While her blue beau insisted that she steer clear of the dangerous Doom Syndicate, together they had taken down two minor would-be villains: the first an ex-model with a scarred face and a terrible idea of revenge, the second a balding science teacher with an insane plan to make the pigeons in the park emulate Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. That last had been a monumental failure even by Megamind's standards. The chemical compound the man had fed the birds had only succeeded in giving them explosive diarrhea. It had been an incredible mess.
Thank God for brainbot cleanup crews!
"And just what are you snickering about?" Megamind asked her, cocking one eyebrow, green eyes shining with curious mirth. "It's mean not to share," he added, adopting his best Hero-Giving-a-Life-Lesson voice. Roxanne laughed harder. That particular part of his new persona was definitely a work in progress.
"I was just thinking about the bird guy," she answered, turning to fill the vase from the faucet.
"The bird—Oh! Ravenous!" he gave the word an odd inflection, putting an emphasis on "raven," just as the aspiring villain had.
"That was it!" she chortled. "God, even his name sucked! He got so mad at you for pronouncing it wrong, too."
"Excuse me," he grinned, leaning back against the counter to catch her eye. "I was pronouncing the word ravenous correctly. It's not my fault he had an unnatural obsession with avians. And, as I recall, it was you, my Dear Miss Ritchi, who insisted on pronouncing his name wrong—or rather right— on air, until you had the whole city doing it.
"Me?" she couldn't hide her smile. "Look at this innocent face. Would I do something like that?"
His laugh rang through the kitchen. "Oh, yes, you would. I always said you would have made an excellent Evil Queen!"
It was absurd how much her heart sped up when he said that. "When did you decide to learn floriography? I mean, it can't have been just for this," she asked, arranging the bouquet with more care and concentration than was really necessary. "I can't imagine you taking an interest in it before."
"Yes and no. I did learn for you, Roxanne, but," he seemed to swallow his sheepishness, "I've studied the language of flowers for years. I... I used to imagine what I would say to you if I only had the courage to leave a tower of blossoms on your table after a kidnapping. I never did. I didn't want you to feel... uncomfortable, frightened, but... Roxanne, I revolve around you. Your smiles have been my drug for a long time."
She swallowed turned her head back quickly. Her face felt like fire and she knew she was losing the battle for suave composure. Damn it, I'm supposed to be the one seducing him!
How could she not love him when he said things like that—said them and actually meant them? Surely that was too much for any reasonable world to expect? And if others might not like it, well, so what? She'd endured criticism of everything from her political stances to her hair, and God knew Megamind was no stranger to animosity. Whatever storms this might brew, they would weather them together.
"The Gypsophila represent purity, too," Megamind informed her. She could hear him grinning at her blush. "The cosmos are joy and harmony," he added, moving closer again. "Yellow daisies are for both true love, because each flower is actually two joined as one, and for new beginnings. Gardenias, now those are interesting. They represent feminine beauty, and can refer to a secret love, but," Roxanne nearly dropped the vase as he leaned against her back to breathe the last words against her ear. "Gardenias also mean: 'I will always protect you.'"
"Megamind," she breathed, gently setting the vase on the counter and turning to bury herself in him. He smelled like hot metal— he'd probably been welding something earlier— and expensive cologne, but beneath that was his familiar musk of leather, spices, and something warm and woody.
He began kissing along her ear and down toward her shoulder— something he had become extremely good at in the last few months. His goatee, warm breath, and gentle teeth were sweet torture against her sensitive skin. Clever fingers tickled up the nape of her neck and slid around to gently tangle in her short hair, making her shiver. She sighed his name again, tasting the syllables like a prayer.
Megamind. This was Megamind: fiercely loyal and endlessly affectionate. Of course, he would always protect her. Let the whole entire city, or even the entire planet, turn against them, and he would remain steadfastly at her side, determined and immovable as stone. Certainly, they had had their share of arguments—what couple didn't?—but, in the end, he always had her back. He'd probably even do his best to shield her from the worst of people's biases. Because that was the sort of man he was.
To hell with what people might think. I want this, now and always.
Roxanne leaned back just enough to kiss him with thorough passion, giving his mouth the full and undivided attention it deserved. He matched her passion, tongue gliding past her lips to tempt and tumble against her own. Almost of their own accord, her arms wrapped about his slender neck, pulling him closer, urging him on...
And her stupid phone timer went off, shattering the moment with an annoyingly jaunty little tune.
"I… um… I have dinner in the oven," she stumbled over her own words. "It should be... ready… almost... almost ready."
Mercifully, he took his cue. "Oh-ho!" he laughed, giving her one last peck on the lips. "Home cooking twice in one week! Just what are you up to, Miss Ritchi?"
Although Roxanne had learned to cook at her grandmother's elbow, she'd rarely felt it worth her time when she was single, preferring quick frozen meals she could leave in the crockpot or even pop into the microwave. Since she had started dating Megamind, however, she'd dusted off the old cookbooks she'd inherited and started making meals from scratch once a week. True, the hero had Minion to cook for him— and her skills were nowhere near the henchman's gourmet standards— but this was one of the ways she could show her affection, and it always seemed to please the blue alien. Things like that had become important to the reporter as Megamind took up residence in her heart, which is why she found herself constantly making little gestures like buying him a blue teddy bear in a black leather jacket, or texting him funny pictures and thoughts she knew would make him smile. So she had gotten into the habit of planning one special dinner each week. But, up until now, it had always been only one.
I'd hoped he wouldn't notice. I should have known better.
She gave him her best calm reporter stare. It was ruined by the fact that her face still felt like it was glowing red. "Why should I be up to anything?" she asked coyly.
He lifted an eyebrow, his grin playful. "Your wiles won't work on me."
That earned him a sultry look. "I was under the impression they were working pretty well just now."
"Wicked girl," he teased. Following Roxanne across the small kitchen, Megamind opened the oven and sniffed eagerly. "Mmmm... Lasag-na. My favorite. Now I'm definitely suspicious."
"It's lasagna, silly," Roxanne corrected fondly, moving past him to set her bouquet on the dinette table. "And can't a girl make her favorite hero a nice dinner without him getting into conspiracy theories?"
He only grinned at her again. "La. Sag. Na." That was one of the things Roxanne loved most about Megamind. He never let himself be embarrassed. Most people would have been mortified by constant mispronunciations, but he brushed them off with a smile.
Giggling, Roxanne swatted him playfully out of her way and found two oven mitts in a drawer before retrieving the dish from the oven. "Maybe I'll make you learn to say it correctly before I let you have any."
"Oh, you could never be so cruel!" he answered over his shoulder as he selected plates from the cabinet. "I should have brought a bottle of wine."
"I still have two from the last time you came over," laughed Roxanne. "I think we'll be okay."
"You make me sound like an alcoholic," Megamind complained, but he couldn't quite tame his playful expression as he began setting the table. "I simply couldn't decide what would compliment the dish best. Besides, I wanted to make sure I had something to eat my breakfast cereal with in the morning."
"Ewww!"
Roxanne loved Megamind's laugh. He was the city's hero now, but his rolling chortle still had a dark ring in it, and something about it sent delicious shivers down her spine.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding" he assured her.
"I know, but... Ewww!"
He laughed again and motioned her to her chair. "Alright, okay," he said, helping her into her seat. "Whenever I stay here overnight, I solemnly promise that I will not eat cereal and wine for breakfast."
Roxanne tried to giggle but found her throat suddenly tight. Funny how that comment brought the conversation to the matter at hand.
Come on, Roxanne. For God's sake. Just ask.
She looked up at him, his face still glowing with humor, and gently placed her hand on his.
"Megamind, I was thinking, what about tonight?"
He looked confused. "What about tonight?"
"For that. For you to stay over. I mean..." she sighed. Ugh... Why is this so hard? "Will you stay here with me tonight?"
"Of course!" his easy tone implied he still didn't get her meaning. It wasn't as if he had never stayed over, after all... It was simply that they had never done any more than cuddle.
"No, I mean, will you—" Oh, God, I'm going to have to be specific, aren't I?— "Will you sleep with me? Will you spend the night here as my lover?"
That finally did it. His eyes widened in surprise, and then he glanced quickly down, trying unsuccessfully to hide his little up-to-no-good grin.
When he lifted his gaze again, however, his expression turned serious. "Are you... sure? I want you to be sure, Roxanne. Absolutely certain." He lifted his free hand to push a strand of her short hair tenderly back from her face. "No regrets between us. Ever."
She smiled. Doesn't he understand that that's what makes me so certain? He's always ready to put me first.
Yes, he was an alien. Yes, she was going to be the first known human to sleep with someone from a different planet. Yes, in a society where too many still objected to relationships between different races and same genders, sharing her bed with an extraterrestrial was sure to stir up trouble. But it didn't matter. She had given him her whole heart, and after five months of dating— more if you counted the dates with "Bernard"— she wanted to give him her body, too. The time had come. Their relationship couldn't continue in this state of limbo. Either she stopped holding back or she broke things off, and she couldn't bear the thought of the latter. No matter what happened, no matter who judged them, no matter how many snide comments she had to hear about Stockholm Syndrome and tentacle porn, she would not—could not—let him go.
Fully meeting his look, Roxanne let her emotions— love, desire, trust, longing— fill her blue eyes. Her hands caressed the sides of his face as she pulled him down for another slow-burn kiss.
"I'm sure," she breathed when they parted for air. "I'm very, very sure."
He smiled and leaned back in, kissing her again, letting years of contained passion spill over her. The chair skittered back as she rose, tangling her arms around him. Clutching her, Megamind ran eager hands over her back, cupped her hips, and pressed her close to feel the proof of his desire. His kisses were hot, desperate, as if he were drowning and her lips held his only salvation.
Panting and flushed, the hero was the first to pull back. "I'm sorry," he said, motioning to the cooling meal on the table. "I don't mean to let all your hard work go to waste, but—"
"I have a microwave. We can heat it up."
He grinned. "Well, in that case..." he purred. Scooping her up in his deceptively thin arms, Metro City's blue hero carried Roxanne to the bedroom.
Tonight. It was going to be tonight.
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BWYD Chapter 15
Megamind is Marinette’s Style Icon
Marinette looked at her cousins, one with puppy dog eyes and the other with a raised eyebrow, before sighing. She really hated having to be the voice of reason despite being the youngest. “Chiot. You’re two years older than me. And you, Oiseau noir. You’re eight years older than him! I’m thirteen! You’re twenty-three! You’re the one who should get to decide if we go flying!”
Conner seemed to take her words to heart before nodding. “You’re right. I am the oldest.” He struck a power pose, drawing laughs from his younger brother and their cousin, before he declared. “We are going flying!”
“No flying in this weather.” Jason called from the living room. “Also, next time you make plans don’t be loud about it.”
Marinette flushed before a Chesire grin spread across her face. She quickly scurried to the living room and repeatedly poked her brother’s cheek. “Hey. Hey. Jay-Jay. Jay-Jay. Jay-Jay.” She smiled when her brother turned to face her (turning her poking into incessant booping of his nose) with a light-hearted scowl. “Do you wanna go flying with us?”
Jason, who usually didn’t get the option to be a child who could fly, let his scowl drop and his eyes widened in glee. “Monsters. Let’s go flying.”
Marinette dragged Jason into the hallway with an excited giggle before she looked at their cousins, nodded and together the four of them ran up to the top floor of the house. Marinette let go of Jason’s hand and shook out her shoulders. “Tikki, spots on.”
Jason, Jon and Conner (who had all seen Marinette’s transformation (multiple times)) had to cover their eyes and turn away and when the bright (did it get brighter while she was in Paris) light finally faded and they turned back around, what they saw stopped them in their places. While Marinette’s suit had never screamed “ladybug” to anyone who saw it, this was definitely the furthest thing from a ladybug any of the boys had ever seen.
Marinette stood in what appeared to be a beautiful recreation of Megamind’s Black Mamba suit. Most of the suit was black, her arms and legs clad in the ink coloured fabric, but on her front was a shock of a dark red covered in blue lighting bolts and that was not the only difference. Her feet were clad in the black platform knee-high boots but the blue detailings were the same dark red of her center front. The signature cape that Megamind wore was still there, however instead of the same inky black colour of her sleeves and pant legs it was a dark translucent charcoal colour and really freaked the boys out when it spread out behind her and behaved like wings. Marintte’s face was obscured by a black mask with red stretching from the outside corner of one eye to the outside corner of the other eye and tiny blue lighting bolts covered the mask. Her earrings, which usually were red with black spots, were dark red with black spots and tiny blue lighting bolts in the middle of each spot. Her hair, usually pulled back in two pigtails or a pair of braids, was instead pulled up into a beehive and was the same shade of blue as the blue lighting bolts covering her outfit.
Marinette smiled, experimentally flexing her wings (were they wings or was it a cape?) before she looked at the boys and her confidence bottomed out. Did they like it? Or was it not cute? Did it work the way she wanted it to?
Jon suddenly wrapped his arms around her, being the closest in age to Marinette he knew that her mind was racing and it couldn’t be good. “You look so cool!” Jon’s face split in a megawatt smile and he pulled back to look at her better. “This suit is beautiful and you look so good. Jason is going to look so good in your arms.”
Marinette giggled and nodded, looking into Jon’s eyes. “Thank you.” She pressed a grateful kiss to his cheek before looking at the two older boys.
“We’re watching Megamind when we get back.” Jason said, looking at Conner out of the corner of his eye.
Conner nodded before fully taking in what Jason was wearing. He let out an exasperated sigh before throwing a black sweatshirt at him. “Put this on.”
---
The four children climbed back in through the window and looked up, into the angry eyes of Clark and Lois. Marinette and Jon froze, their blue eyes widening in fear.
“Hey, Mom and Dad.” Jon’s voice cut through the tension, allowing Conner and Jason to fully come into the room.
“Tikki, spots off.” Marinette whispered and with a much duller light than before she was, once again, in her large yellow sweatshirt (that she definitely didn’t steal from Duke) over a pair of black leggings (that she definitely didn’t steal from the back of Cass’s closet) and she looked up at her Uncle Clark and Aunt Lois. “I’m sorry Uncle Clark and Aunt Lois.”
“Oh sweetheart. It’s okay, while you are responsible for your own actions, the boys are equally responsible for their own actions.” Lois said, her voice taking on a maternal tone. “However, you four are in trouble. So, as much as we’ve loved having you two here, I think it’s time to go home.”
Clark nodded before he fixed his two sons with a glare. “Say goodbye to your cousins boys.”
“Bye Marinette. By Jason.” Conner and Jon chorused, fear in their eyes.
“Bye Chiot. By Oiseua noir.” Marinette replied sadly, waving at the boys before she went to go collect her things.
“Bye nerd. Bye baby nerd.” Jason called out as he followed his sister.
---
Marinette and Jason pulled into the garage, Jason’s fear came back full force when he saw Bruce standing in the doorway.
“Ubaba!” Marinette cried as she shot out of the car and bolted over to him. “I missed you!”
Bruce smiled and nodded. “I missed you too Mon Chou. Why don’t you go help Alfred in the kitchen?”
Marinette waved at Jason and happily skipped into the manor.
“Why did you think running away, and dragging your sister along for the ride, was the best course of action?” Bruce demanded.
@dast218 @toodaloo-kangaroo @amayakans @crazylittlemunchkin @marinettepotterandplagg
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alright y’all, time for a Melissa play-by-play. I have a theory about this episode but it will get it’s own post:
And we dive right into spy time
That statue in the fountain was very upsetting :’)
GODDAMN U LAUNCHPAD, U SEXY BEAST
I like that LP says spiffy because I use the word spiffy
DEW-ble O Duck
“What I Dewey best” God I love Dewey and his love of puns
SONG TIME!!!
Ben is a really good singer
I like how the song was foreshadowing things to come
How is she wearing earrings?
A ham on cheese sandwich sounds really good rn
“I can’t remember when I’m hungry” A man after my own heart
YOU DIED
Ok, that game is WAAAAAY too advanced. It has the whole building mapped out and those glasses are WAAAY to small and lightweight to handle all that. Is it all through wi-fi? Am I overthinking the logic of a video game in a cartoon? Probably
“I had a sassy quip and everything.” He has the makings of a superhero in him
“It’s a little too real.” FORESHADOWING! Or the game was already REALLY immersive. OR BOTH
OH GOD LAUNCHPAD IS ALREADY FEELING BAD ABOUT HIMSELF!
“Haven’t you ever wanted to plug into a high-stakes, thrilling adventure?” He’s already done the spy-thing. Though it would have been cool to see Scrooge in a sexy suit
UNCLE MCDEE! I LOVE IT
Then an Uncle Scrooge from Webby. TOO CUTE!
There is A LOT of winking in this episode ;)
“We’re a team” DEWEY IS SO ADORABLE AND WHOLESOME!
Aw, Launchpad
I didn’t notice it the first time, but I love that Steelbeak is using one of those plastic swords to pick his teeth. It’s the little things
Is the theme song gonna be the short version for every episode this season?
I really dig Jason Mantzoukas’ take on Steelbeak. He’s just so cocky yet insecure at the same time. I like his voice cracking when he gets embarrassed or excited
And I ADORE how UTTERLY STUPID he is. I think he’s dumber than Launchpad because Launchpad is aware that he’s not exactly the smartest guy but Steelbeak GENUINELY thinks he’s smart. Plus he feels the joke. That’s just dumb and unfunny (in-universe at least. out of universe it’s great)
“The Sat-a-Lighthouse. Classic villain lair.” Well we know that’s gonna show up
Bradford’s neck bothers me. It makes my neck hurt looking at it
Intelli-ray. You guys are a bit on the beak nose when it comes to naming things
GADGET!
“Rat’s are dumb, right?” YOU STUPID BEAUTIFUL MAN
THE OTHER RANGERS! And Monterey already has his mustache
Ok how did her hair grow so fast? And did she shave her fur? How did she get a more human-esque figure? I NEED THIS INFORMATION
They Secret of Nimh’ed her!
Heron acts like an annoyed/done mom with Steelbeak and he acts like a snotty kid. It’s great
EVIL LAUGH
“Did that rat make that jumpsuit on a regular sewing machine, or did it build its own tiny sewing machine?” STEELBEAK ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS HERE
I legit thought she was about to pull off his beak
“I’ll go. Not because you told me.” He’s such a punk-ass kid, I LOVE IT
CHOMP CHOMP
DON’T EXPLAIN THE JOKE, BRO
“I pay for the privilege of doing someone else’s yard-work?” THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU’D SAY, YOU RICH, PRIVILEGED MAN. Whack-a-Mole is actually about expressing all the rage and fury inside you
Video graphic adventures
SKEE BALL! I FUCKING LOVE SKEE BALL
That kid didn’t even take his tickets
Ticket-rich. I love it
LET’S STRETCH BITCHES
“Can’t let Dewey down. Gotta be smart, gotta win the game.” OH LAUNCHPAD, SWEETHEART
“Calm down, LP. It’s only a game.” Dewey is SUCH a GOOD friend!
“But don’t overthink it.” That’s just good life advice in general
I love how tiny Dewey is when compared to LP. It’s ADORABLE
“THEN WE GET PIZZA.” “Yes, pizza.” I don’t know why, but the way Ben delivers that line is hilarious to me
“Pad. Launchpad. McQuack. My name is Launchpad McQuack.” I love you so much
Ok, was there an actual dude there? How could’ve Steelbeak thrown a digital person?
“Yes, I do as well.” YOU DUMB HOE, I LOVE YOU
That card game was great. Truly a battle of wits. And Dewey just being like...what. Beautiful
“Well played.” “It was?”
“Look’s like you’ve been out-smart guyed.” The dialogue in this episode is top notch
I too do not understand smanzy card games
“But how about a game of 52 pickup...YOUR TEETH!”
“THE PAIN FEELS SO LIFELIKE!”
The sound Steelbeak makes when Dewey pulls on his...hair(?) is great
One day you’ll get to quip Dewey, one day
The cuts between the game reality and actual reality are so great
Is that the Phantom Blot or the normal Funzo? Is there even a normal Funzo?
The neck cracking also made my neck hurt
All the kids gathering around Scrooge is too cute
“Not now lass, I’m on a roll.” SKEE BALL IS A GATEWAY DRUG TO GAMBLING
“I think they just have nachos.” They have pizza too
Steelbeak pecking at Launchpad...brilliant
The little pug/bulldog kid is so cute
The scream when he’s hit with the pizza is gold
That ballpit is terrifying
Yet again Launchpad falls on someone
HE FUCKING PUNCHED A KID! WTF BRO?!
“WE MADE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL!”
Those jumpsuits are pretty nice, ngl
“Nerp”
Launchpad had the right idea, he just fumbled on the execution
Rubix cubes-shorthand for intelligence levels
She is so done with him it’s great
“We can make Scrooge SO HUNGRY, he’ll EAT all the toys!” Solid logic
“Duh, that ain’t smart.” OO, BURN
Whenever anyone/anything grabs Steelbeak’s beak I feel like it’s gonna come off
THE THEME SONG PLAYS! I LOVE IT! IT’S GREAT
How did the others get smart? Where did THEIR clothes come from?! I NEED ANSWERS FRANK!!
Launchpad is always ready to lend a helping hand
HOW DID THE GLOVE FLOAT?! I HAVE SO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS!!!
“The answer was to build a tiny plane and teach a mouse to fly it?” “Yes, I figured that out.”
Is Gadget a rat or a mouse? She looked more mouse-like before she got smartified but Heron called her a rat. EVEN MORE UNANSWERED QUESTIONS! She’s probably a mouse though because that’s what she was in the original show
I don’t know why but I love when people call Launchpad LP. Maybe it’s because he has nicknames for everyone else so him having a nickname is cute
So Steelbeak was in prison in St. Canard. Perhaps he had a run in with a certain terror that flaps in the night? That would be hilarious if the two had met before but now Steelbeak is more focused on Launchpad. That would be a blow to DW’s ego
I kind of feel bad for Steelbeak. Sure he’s dumb but that was uncalled for. No wonder he snapped
“You bird-brained...” Aren’t you ALL bird-brains though? You are birds and you have brains therefore you have bird-brains. That almost feels like it could be a racist comment in this world
“I’M THE RICHEST DUCK IN THE ARCADE!” You were the richest duck in the arcade the moment you walked in
I love when Scrooge gets obsessed with something and loses his goddamn mind
WEBBY YOU CREATED A MONSTER!
“Ticket bin?” “YES!”
322 DAYS WITHOUT AN ACCIDENT. Good for them
Launchpad just LEEROY JENKENS’ed his way in
His hand is as big as Dewey’s HEAD
LP and Steelbeak have great fight dialogue. It reminds me of Megamind and Metro Man
LAUNCHPAD PUSHES DEWEY TO SAFETY! At that point he didn’t even KNOW what the ray did! But he heroically saved his best friend, not matter what would happen to him! WE STAN!
This episode cemented my headcanon that Chris Evans would be the perfect human LP
“I SHALL AVENGE YOU, MY FRIEND”
This scene, the climax, and the end of the episode gave me a theory, but it will have its own post
British accent=smart?
First thing he does is slick back the hair. Classy
“That cad, Steelbeak” We should call more people cads
How did LP fit into that much smaller man’s uniform? Are they extra stretchy? Because I can totally see that being something FOWL would do. It’s practical
“I don’t know what any of those words mean.” Same
“Heavens, you don’t want them to think you don’t know what you’re doing!” My constant struggle
The supersious guy is adorable
“Well, it’s certainly proving to be bad luck FOR YOU!”
KARATE CHOP ACTION
He still calls him Mr McDee. I just think that’s cute
Dear Dewford. Aww
“I won’t let him down again.” AAAAWWWWWWW
“Can’t go out there looking like this.” You can’t fight crime if you ain’t cute (or sexy in LP’s case)
LAUNCHPAD, YOU SEXY MOTHERFUCKER
That is an old-ass phone you got there, LP
Scrooge is 2 for 2 in missing important calls. Probably should turn his ringtone on
Webby is just so done
“Ah yes, you’d like that wouldn’t you, sonny.” God, Scrooge can get downright FERAL
Blink-and-you’ll-miss-it DW cameo. It looks like Drake’s DW. Does he have merch now? Does he get a cute of the sales? Who makes the merch?
WEBBY WILL FUCKING END YOU
Dewey is SO precious this episode. His cute little bounces
“I’m actually afraid and a little dehydrated, this game is AWESOME” GET THAT BOY SOME JUICE STAT
I love when shows realistically portray sound
“No time for a...crash course” YEEEEEAAAAAAAH
How’d he get a grappling hook?
“THAT’S MY PARTNER!” DEWEY LOVES LP SO MUCH!!
“How is he doing this?” The power of sexy? I don’t know either, bro
“There goes your pal LURCH-POUND! HA! You know, because he just got lurched into that POND OVER THERE?!” “That’s technically a bay.” “I’M NOT STUPID!”
“Classic villain lair!” I can appreciate a man who knows what he’s about
Why do villains alway jump INSTANTLY to the world? You gotta take baby steps. Start with a city, then a state, then the tri-state area a country, THEN the world. Gotta pace yourself
“And Uncle Scrooge only gives us like a nickel each week.” Do they do chores to earn that allowance? I mean, probably. Do Donald and Della have to do chores as well? Give them at least a dime, Scrooge!
MORE SEXY LAUNCHPAD! DAMN YOU, YOU BEAUTIFUL MAN!
“Waaaaiiiit a minute, is that my suit?!” “It suits me better.” DAMN STRAIGHT IT DOES! LP fills the jacket out
I like Steelbeak adding on his fingers
“Your fancy speak won’t work on me, Dummy-O-Duck. Ha-ha, classic.”
“That was totally my plan the whole time” Sweetie, just...no
“I guess you’re not as smart as *voice crack* ME.” “Not as smart as I.” NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR CORRECTING GRAMMAR!
THEY’RE BACK! AND THE THEME SONG! SO BEAUTIFUL!
Again, I thought Steelbeak’s beak was coming off
I like that Steelbeak went into pray position while being shocked
I’m gonna pretend the Rangers were off on their own adventure the whole time’
“Thanks for the...rescue.” AND GADGET SALUTES BACK AND WINKS! BEAUTIFUL!
“No person could survive being that stupid”
Launchpad, always willing to take one for the team
“There’s so much more I could accomplish! Stop the evil conspiracy out to get us! Solve world hunger! Land a plane!” No matter how smart he is, Launchpad still can’t stick the landing
“Launchpad, why are you overthinking this?” “Because I want to be good enough for you!” SOB
“Of course you’re good enough for me. You’re my best friend.” SOOOOOOOOOOB
“For Dewey, and Duckburg.” He put Dewey first, daaaaawwwww
HIM CATCHING DEWEY AND HOLDING HIM TIGHT TO HIS CHEST?! SO WHOLESOME!!
First thing LP does after things go back to normal? Fix his hair. Hair is very important to your state of mind, I guess
“Was it all a game?” Life is just a game
“Wait until I tell Huey I...YOU beat the game.” AAAAWWWWWW
“I’m not playing with anyone but you.” MY HEART!!!!
Scrooge is so broken. And the ticket to prize ratio, too true
“How much money did you spend to get those tickets?” Don’t play skee ball, kids. It will ruin your life
“I don’t think we should bring you here anymore.” Donald should probably be the one picking you up because Della would TOTALLY get hooked on a game/get too aggressive and I could see Beakley falling into the same trap
The comb just sticks there
The subtitles call him Suave-Pad, I LOVE IT!
“I like purple. A lot. Ha! Man, I’m glad I got that off my chest.” A DW reference or a CODEWORD?
“WARM THEM, YOU OLD FOOL! WAAAAARN THEEEEEM! Oh, dash it all, I’m going for a soak.”
“Restoring your ‘intelligence’ as it were.” BURN
She’s on a first-name basis with him...interesting
“OR ANY KINDS OF RAYS!” No mad sciencing here
“Who’s stupid now?” Gloating is very unbecoming
There are...certain people I wish I could force to shut up like that
His muffled screaming is great
Again, Rubix cube solving proves intelligence
How did he not notice it was wet when he picked it up?
I NEED THE SONG IN FULL SOMEWHERE TO DOWNLOAD
This one was super fun and emotional. I was not expecting this to be the episode that the Rescue Rangers would make their debut in but I’m glad they were here. Dewey and Launchpad’s friendship is so pure and adorable. I almost wish there hadn’t been a b-plot but it was fun. I know other people are upset over Steelbeak/the Rescue Rangers being different but I like them. This show is different from those shows. Steelbeak was repurposed into being Launchpad’s nemesis so he needed to match him. Plus we already have a bunch of smarties in FOWL. And this Steelbeak seems younger and less experienced so it would make sense that he’s not as clever. The Rangers didn’t really change that much from their show, just got a new origin that helps them fit into the world that has already been set up. I think this episode is going in the top 5.
#ducktales#darkwing duck#chip and dale rescue rangers#dt spoilers#huey got a much need break this episode
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Nightcall (2/2)
[ao3 Link] . [Part One]
Megamind drops out of the media. Though the media doesn’t drop him.
The spike in his frequent fights with Metro Man has done a complete 360, much to the relief of the locals and to the disappointment of tourists. The news and media alike have leaped onto his sudden change like scavengers to fresh offal. Talk of his recent rendezvous, or lack thereof, are on everyone’s mind.
“He’s a maniac,” some talk-show host said into the speaker, hunched over a desk looking quite aggressive. The screen of the television baths the blue alien in a dull electronic glow illuminated his reflective eyes. He frowns at the person but having no good point to disagree. He’s just offended someone would be so bold to jump into the obvious.
“He’s a maniac, and Metro Man has been taking his sweet-ass time in trying to bring this alien-fuck down. Sure, sure, all-righteous and no-killing and what not. I’m sorry but he’s just pious.” Not just ballsy, but controversial. “My only guess as to why Megamind has abruptly vanished like a phantom is because our city’s hero finally grew a pair and kicked his skinny blue ass into the next life. And by God will none of us miss him. Look at what a shit-show he’s turned this city into—“
Megamind turns the TV off by throwing the remote so hard that it shatters the screen.
Sighing, he crawls out of his little nest of blankets and decides it’s time. He’s been procrastinating enough; he’s done nothing for the past two weeks and it’s getting to his head.
His plan to tell Roxanne started out sounding like the only resort to fixing him and his dumb extraterrestrial make-up, but he’s been pushing it off since he got home the last time he broke out of prison. Who knew he could really raise some hell by simply doing nothing.
Roxanne has made few appearances on television since her last kidnapping. Sadly enough, due to his absence, she had little to do (at least, to the public eye). She was the main reporter, focusing on Metro City’s star inhabitancies. Metro Man had nothing much to do besides helping little old ladies or getting cats from trees—not worthy of making an emergency announcement on the news.
And since he hasn’t seen her, he’s going into such a stump he’s made several near attempts to just show up at her place with no spray. How would she respond?
Well, he’d find out tonight.
He filled the invisible car up with his home-made energy source, making sure it wouldn��t run on empty. Tonight he was going out, far enough to reach the boonies.
And he wouldn’t be alone.
Megamind, unsure of how she’d react but knowing this would be practically life or death for him, grabbed a few essentials. The de-gun. Knock-out spray. Rope. You know. The usual. This had to go as smooth as possible for him to get serious with her, to assure her he’d never bother her again as long as he got this off his chest so he could wallow in misery with a peace of mind.
So, making sure she’s home with the affirmation from one of his spy-bots, Megamind packs up his things in the car and zooms out of the Lair before Minion can so much as ask “Where are you going, Sir?”
When he gets to her building, he uses a brainbot to fly him up to her balcony. She never locks it (Oh, Roxanne, I do question your sanity sometimes), so when he pushes the glass doors open, he enters a relatively quiet domain.
The lights over her tiny kitchen are on, illuminating her one-person apartment. Sniffing, and catching the remnants of her perfume, he follows it until—
“Mega—“ Before he gives her time to even finish saying his self-given name, he whips around and gives her a reasonably large dose of spray. She gasps, eyes roll up, and her body drops in a dead weight. Flinging out an arm he catches her, unable to keep his hungry eyes from the expanse of her pale, bare neck. Megamind splays his fingers across her bare, marveling at seeing her for the first time in weeks. It’s been too long.
Tonight she’s wearing civvies. A pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a white peasant blouse with little red and blue flowers along the neck and sleeves. She’s missed a barber appointment, he thinks, as her hair is exactly two centimeters longer than usual. Her hair’s also a bit damp, curling ever so slightly at the very ends. She not wearing makeup, either, letting him see all of her little brown freckles dusting her cheeks, like little stars in a milky white setting. He licks his lips.
Megamind ties her wrists and covers her mouth with a cheap duck tape. He’s never taped her mouth shut before, but for once he doesn’t want her screaming or complaining. And despite every Hollywood movie where the bad guy tapes the victim’s mouth shut, it’s very possible to remove it without the use of hands.
He carries her out bridal style, whistling for the brainbot to bring him back to the car. Once on the ground, he tucks her into the passenger seat and pulls the belt on, all before getting in himself.
And then he drives. He drives for a long time, content for the moment to sit in silence beside the soft rumble of the car’s engine.
Swerving through Metro City’s night traffic, the city lights gleaming in this never sleeping place, he keeps his head low as he goes, so stressed he finds himself clutching the wheel so hard it threatens to snap. The leather of his gloves scrunches.
They (he; she’s still knocked out) drive out of the midnight city into the rolling countryside, past the lake and past the forests. Lush green hillsides and vast farm lands. He can hear the road scratch under the car tires as asphalt turns into gravel and dirt.
After about forty minutes of driving, he can tell Roxanne is beginning to stir. Quickly, he pulls up beside a huge oak tree in the middle of no where, and void of another living soul for miles.
Well. There is a cow outside but it’s like, ten feet away minding its own business.
As the car comes to a stop, he turns the key and all is instantly quiet.
With a soft grunt, Roxanne squirms in her seat and consciousness slowly comes to. He doesn’t watch her, choosing to star at his bony knees and twiddle his thumbs. All he can hear is her movements, and his own rapidly beating heart.
“M…Mmm?” Her eyes slowly open, blinking in the dim atmosphere. Her eyes then open wider, and she looks around for the usual sights of a kidnapping. Seeing as they’re only in the car, and her mouth is taped, she abruptly begins to struggle.
“Wait!” He says frantically, trying to calm her like one would do for a wild horse. “It’s okay! This isn’t a kidnapping! Well, technically it is but it’s just us—“
“MMM!?” She starts to work her mouth through the tape in earnest, tongue visibly trying to lick at the stickiness.
“Please, wait! This is—I just want to tell you something. Something… important. I promise on my ancestors that you have full permission and more to beat me outside but… please. Just listen to me. Please, Miss Ritchi.”
Her struggling stops, and she turns to him with a suspicious glare. He bows his head, flushing in shame. She hates me.
Though she’s trapped him under an intense stare, snaring him more than he had with her, Roxanne goes still as if awaiting for whatever stupid thing he’s got to say to her.
“I… want to apologize, for my behavior two weeks ago. It was unforgivable.”
“Mm.”
“But—I… I…”
She glares harder. Ashamed of himself, he turns his stare to the dashboard.
“I love you.”
He doesn’t look up to catch her reaction, but she doesn’t respond verbally.
“I love you, I love you, I love you.” He bangs his forehead against the steering wheel with each confession, feeling all the pint up emotions in him pouring out like water from a broken dam. It burns his insides with glorious relief and bittersweet shame all at once. Yet it keeps flowing. “And I’m so, so sorry. It’s—not my choice, Miss Ritchi. I can’t help it. My b-body…Ah—s—“ he stutters, so anxious it’s close to making him piss himself. He can feel it claw at this throat, threatening tears. “My species… we d-don’t have crooches, like a human. We… fall in love. Hard. And once. Only once. Once and only with one person. And that’s it. We mate for life, like doves. Or beavers. Wolves. I-It doesn’t matter. But once the relationship is formed that’s it. Cheating or finding a second love if the other leaves or dies is purely an earthly concept. My own p-parents, they—they only had eyes for each other. Sex or romance wasn’t even a concept I understood before I met y—…. I didn’t chose you, Miss Ritchi. I didn’t want this to happen. You don’t deserve this. I’ve already turned your life into a living hell, and for that I cannot apologize enough, even onto my grave. My transgressions are unforgivable. Yet, even being here on Earth I cannot…. There is no place for me. My planet, it’s… I’m all that’s left. And Minion. I didn’t think I could possibly imprint on anyone, much less a human, in this way. Yet… I am so sorry. It’s all my fault. I should have known…”
She’s fidgeting ever so softly beside him, he hears the crinkle of the tape.
He doesn’t realize he’s crying until he takes in a staggering breath, wet tears rolling down his sharp face and trickling on his lips. Salty like the sea.
He can’t bring himself to speak again in fear of weeping like a damn baby, but he feels as vulnerable as one in the moment. Weak. Childish. Pathetic.
The car falls into a silence, with his shaky breaths and a light breeze rolling against the windows. Other than that, it’s as quiet as a void. He glances at her from the corner of his eye, and sees her staring outside at the cow as if it had done something personal to disrespect her.
They sit in silence for a long time.
“I’m done,” he suddenly says.
He hears her move around again.
“I’m… I’m done. With this business,” he gestures to himself in general, to the car, to his gun. “I mean, there are things you don’t know about. Things I’ve done behind cameras. In the underworld. I’ve committed enough sins to last multiple lifetimes over. There’s blood on my hands. Miss Ritchi. Like you wouldn’t believe. And… I’m going to give it up. I can’t keep doing this…
“This such a archaic concept for me. Aah, uh, did you know… Of course you wouldn’t… The males, sometimes even the females, of my kind have to… catch the other sometimes. To express that they feel the same way. Avoids miscommunication or misplaced feelings. My own father… had to sneak into my mother’s household as teenagers to propose to her. It’s—I didn’t even realize it until recently I was courting you! Unconsciously! I’m—God I’m so sorry, Miss Ritchi. I just need to go away. “
She lets out a muffled sound again.
“I’m moving from this place,” he looks around at the vast farmland, the dot of the city in the distance, reflected by his rear-view mirror. “Romania sounds nice. I do a lot of business over there. Lots of forests and hillsides where there’s no one for miles. I can’t bother you or anyone out th—”
Roxanne suddenly spits.
Looking over to her in surprise, he sees she has vanquished the duck tape and has rolled it up in her mouth to spit it onto the dashboard. Turning on one hip, she faces him with such a glower it chills him to the very bone.
“Don’t. You. Dare,” she hisses.
He shrinks in his seat.
“Don’t you dare drop this on me and say you’re just gonna leave!” She yells, pulling against her taped wrists. He opens his mouth to let out a string of never ending apologies, but—she’s starting to cry, he sees, much to his absolute horror. Has he truly upset her this bad? He really was a monster.
“How—you stupid, stupid man,” she cries out, and suddenly—he sees her raise her arms, still taped by the wrist, and he honestly thinks he’s about to be hit when—
She loops her arms around his big blue head and latches onto his neck, yanking him closer and making him clumsily fall onto the stick shift as—
Her mouth is on his. So hard do their mouths come together that their teeth clack, faces clashing together he barely has time to process what’s happening. Gasping, hands wild and unsure in the air as she seemingly tries to suck his soul out, but—he knows what’s happening, mildly, but a bigger part of him is convinced he’s dreaming or hit his head.
The feeling of her lips touching his, though, is electrifying. Every nerve in his body begins to sing and scream all at once, overwhelming him with a sensation override. She moans and presses closer, both of them awkward and clumsy as they clutch at the other from opposite seats. Clutched… he feels his hand involuntarily grab her waist, holding his close but terrified he’s mixing the signals. It feels so so so good, though, and—
She pulls away before he can even realize he was responding back, albeit unsurely. Arms locked around his neck, he mentally curses himself for tying her up. But. It felt like the thing to do at the time.
“You listen to me you son of a bitch,” she viciously spats. “You come to my place, ten’o’freakin’clock at night, and tell me you love me only then to say you’re leaving? What the actual hell!?”
He attempts to pull back, hide in his shell, run away from her furious reprimand, but his neck is still trapped by her arms. Shit. Really a bad decision to tie her up. The alien’s prepared to say something, anything, to show how much of a lowly creature he is in her light, but all that comes out of his throat are choked warbles and whimpers. “I—“
She sniffles.
He meets her eyes in surprise to see two glassy blue orbs meeting his. Frantically, he try to console the weepy female by nervously patting her back. “Ah—M-Miss Ritchi—“
“You were such an A-hole,” she says, sobbing. “Megamind, for once you were actually cruel. It scared me.”
“Oh, oh my dear—No, no, my sweet, no! I wasn’t—“ he swallows. “I wasn’t trying to be cruel. I was just frustrated. With myself. With my instincts. I—if I behaved any less I would have made a fool of myself.”
“Well, you already did that by yelling at me, you cabbage.”
“I-I’m sorry.”
“You made me feel like a whore the last kidnapping.”
He remembers that dress she wore. Wine red, rimmed in black. His... comment to it. Megamind bows his head and clenches his whole body. “I am sorry.”
“And you made me worry about you. I haven’t seen you in weeks.”
Confused, he looks up at her. Roxanne then pulls at her arms and lets him go from between them. Gesturing with her wrists, he catches her drift and pulls out his trusted butterfly knife and whips it out, glad to have something to do with a tool he’s familiar with. Nothing else felt familiar; alien and strange.
As the plastic finally rips away, her skin safe from his sharp little friend, she wraps her hands around his neck and yanks him to her again. Eyes wide, he numbly feels her kiss him a few quick, consecutive times before—
She slaps him in the chest.
He’s nearly got a concussion from how bad the whiplash is.
“Is it true?” Roxanne demands. He’s unable to speak. “Is it true? Do you love m—“
“Yes. Yes, I love you. A million times over.”
This little woman shakes her head, eyes glistening with something he can’t begin to understand. He feels like he’s drowning, with a weight tied to his feet to prevent him to swimming to the surface. He can't breath. She then grabs onto his shoulders. Shaking her head again, she says, “Then don’t go to Romania. Don’t leave Metro City. This place is our-your home.”
“Miss Ritchi, I can’t… stay around you anymore,” his voice breaks. “I can’t without—“
Her lips are on his again.
Shocked, but rapidly trying to learn this new skill she’s apparently trying to teach him, he responds as best he can. Periwinkle blue to unpainted pink, their lips press against each other, seining the warmth and the wet of the other’s mouth. He once saw this activity between lovers an unsanitary and strange thing, but now he understands its meaning. His lips are quite sensitive, and this kissing sets his body to flame, scrambling towards something he can’t seem to catch.
When she pulls away, he follows her, not wanting this connection to end. A tiny bead of saliva snaps between them as their lips depart.
“For such a genius, you can be unbelievably dense.” She cups his face. “I love you Megamind."
What.
"God, I love you. And your behavior, this month—I thought you’d finally lost it. Or just got tired of me.”
His first instinct is to respond yes, yes he has lost it, completely and utterly, but—
“You—you what—“
Roxanne shakes her head again, this time smiling so wide that it nearly reaches her ears, all pearly whites on display for him. She lets him go, finally, letting him think straight. Which is bad because his brain runs in about five hundred directions. Blinking rapidly to disperse the tears in her wet lashes, she continues with, “I’m glad you told me this. Because—I was considering on moving as well.”
He jolts in his seat.
“I sometimes get job offers in other places. This time… I had an offer in Liverpool.”
“Leeverpul!? What’s can you find in Leeverpul?”
“I like the British accent. And it’s far, far away from here.”
Hapless, he stares at his knees.
“Hey,” she pulls him out of his stupor. “Look at me. That’s better. Now. That stuff you said about… imprinting on me? Is that true, too?”
“All of it,” he breaths.
Roxanne nods her head and leans back against the leather seats. “Then listen to me. I love you with all of my heart. I have for a long time, Megamind. So it hurt me, so, so much with how much of a dick you were suddenly turning into. You may as well have stabbed me in the heart.” He winces. “And then you just up and vanished. Gone. Everyone is talking about you!”
He can’t believe what she’s saying. It’s nothing like he ever imagined happening in any probable outcome of this. She… actually… returned his feelings? What??? What witchcraft is this!? He really must’ve bumped his head hard!
“I... know. I see the news. I see my lack of an appearance in the public eye has given you less work… Ah, are you sleeping better?”
She looks at him in confusion.
“You were always falling asleep.”
Roxanne lets out a loud sigh. “I know… I know…”
“Why.” It isn’t a question.
“I always thought you were just a bit ol’sweetheart that grew up on the wrong side of the law. I fall in love with you a little harder every time you goof around like that. I hate that you’re always destroying something or trying to start a fight, but it was a little endearing.” She lets out another loud exhale. “And then you started acting like I was shit under your shoe.”
“N—!“
She raises a hand, and he immediately goes silent.
"So I started drinking. Tried to drink the pain away. But that doesn't work," her voice breaks a bit.
He wants to bang his head against the wall.
“And I hate that you dragged me out here,” she motions toward the countryside. “You don’t have to ship yourself off to God knows where, but stopping the kidnapping would be nice. Even if it’s apart of your… culture.”
“Whatever-Whatever you desire," he swears reverently.
“What I desire,” she says, placing a hand on his knee, “is for you to take me home.”
He nods, expecting that answer.
“And I want you to come up with me. We’re gonna have a talk.”
“O-kay...?”
Suddenly she leans over again and presses his lips to his cheek. With his breath hitching, because its still a lovely, foreign feel to him, she adds, “And then I’m going to show you how much I love you, too.”
“W—“
“I know you, Megamind. I can see it in your face. Now. Take us home, sweetheart.” She kisses his lips again.
This time he knows what to do, and copies her actions better than before. It feels like fireworks.
He’s glad he told her.
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ALL EVEN NUMBERS 8D?? and nr 1 :>
I didn’t want to clean my room anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
1. First things first, did you have a good year?
Overall yes, I guess, the last four months since September have been great and I can’t really remember the rest :’)
2. How old did you turn this year?
21 and I feel old
4. Did your appearance change in anyway?
I got short(er) hair last year but this year my new hairdresser looked at me, probably went “Yeah, she’s gay” and cut them even shorter AND I’M SO HAPPY I LIKE IT SO MUCH
6. If you traveled, where did you go?
Ofc I did! In March to St. Petersburg for a week and it was really nice and in September I went to Italy to visit @sxpaiscia
8. Which fashion trends did you hate?
No particular fashion trend?? Just that the sleeves of all my new hoodies/flannels are too short?? Idk what’s up with that. Can’t they make the sleeves a normal length so they will cover my entire arm and hand and I can be comfy??
10. What song sums up this year for you?
Probably Fire and the Flood by Vance Joy
12. What was your favorite movie of the year?
I had to look up all the movies which were released this year?? My friend and I went to see Love, Simon which I thought was really good, also The Incredibles 2 and two older films I only watched this year were Storks and Megamind, omg, that movie was awesome
14.Favorite new TV show?
HILDA IT IS SO CUTE OMG I LOVE IT, also, Nomad of Nowhere
16. What food did you try for the first time?
Uuuhm, probably several things but we ate snails? and red beans which I always thought would taste awful but were actually okay
18. What was one nice thing you did for someone else?
OKAY the last day before the Christmas holidays I bought chocolate for my whole class and put it in our classroom without anyone knowing and it was great listening to them wondering who tf did that (Also I got to be STEALTHY!) It was worth getting up early
20. Did you develop a new obsession?
SEVERAL, for one I bought like 8 flannels this year, and I am now obsessed with pink and glitter and now my room is coated in glitter because I am stupid and drop everything I pick up, including the box with glitter :)
22. Did you move?
fortunately not
24. Did you get a pet?
Yes and no, we adopted a stray cat and he’s the sweetest boy but he doesn’t really belong to us, we only feed him and cuddle him
26. Do you regret doing something?
Not writing as much as I wanted to write :( (Which reminds me that I have so many fics to post, ugh, I got at least two finished and one that’s nearly finished)
28. Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days?
Yeah, some of my classmates for not showing up even though we agreed to study together … I get mad more often than that but being left alone or excluded are things I can’t stand -.-
30. Did you fall in love?
YES OMG
32. Did you start a new relationship?
YESSSS
34. Did you have to cut ties to someone?
Not really, but there was one person who tried to contact me again after I cut her out two years ago and I went “Ugh, plz leave me alone” especially since she went the “I love you but I didn’t want to ruin our friendship :’)” road
36. Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year?
There are several people, half of them are tumblr friendships who probably don’t even know about it :’) (apart from Pai of course xD)
38. What was the best moment of the year for you?
There were so many uhm …
40. Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t?
Yeah, I was disappointed by someone again but I’m still as stupid as before and have trust issues so uuuh :)
42. What are you most proud of accomplishing?
I’m getting my life together! (a bit. A tiny little bit but it’s good)
44. Did your opinion of anyone change for the better?
No, I can’t think of anyone …
46. If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year?
… Does anyone do this?
48. If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do? Who would you go this?
I’d love to explore somewhere no one hasn’t been yet, preferably where it’s cold and anyone of my friends is fine, really, as long as they aren’t annoying
50. What do you wish for yourself?
Continue to make baby steps, growing as a person and stay positive … that’s probably only a tiny bit of all the things I want myself to do but I’m pretty sure I’m gonna focus on this ^^
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so i finally finished a new fic
What exactly would have happened if Wayne’s pod hadn’t knocked Megamind’s off course and, instead, they had both crash landed in the Scott’s parlor on Christmas morning?
This is…. well, I meant it as a one shot but it feels more like an introduction to a goddamn ‘verse so I suppose we’ll see if I get properly inspired to write (finish) any sequels to this. I have… a LOT of ideas. My Lady Scott is partially influenced by @setepenre-set’s version of her. Set you are brilliant and inspiring!!
Fate Picks Its Favorites - True Gold
[AO3] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4]
An easy enough adjustment: instead of a pinball bounce, the pods adhere together. An errant scrap of metal catches another, perhaps, or a magnetic component gone awry. Or, maybe, they simply behave as they were originally intended. Two pods come rocketing off from a doomed system, orphans of the same sun both meant for the same new planet; it’s difficult to believe that their families did not intend them to remain together.
It’s a little more obvious that the two infants aren’t gifts when one of the pods is made of what looks like scrap metal, sporadically sparking, but Lady Diana Scott is quite practiced at deciding what things are and aren’t noticed in her household. The smiling boy with the sparkling gold onesie is making grabby hands at her from his gleaming little ship (it matches the cream-and-gold theme of her parlor almost too well) and the other-
Eyes wide and wary and so, so green. So green that she almost doesn’t notice how blue the rest of him is, for a moment.
“Babies,” she says, her shock making the word escape her without the usual triple check past her brain.
“Mmhmm, yes, I saw it and thought of you,” her husband says, quite inanely, still too engrossed in his newspaper to pay her or the new hole in their roof any attention. If she was a different sort of person, she would feel bitter about that, perhaps. As things are, though, this will likely work to her advantage.
The more- human looking of the two infants is frowning up at her now, apparently perturbed that she hasn’t obeyed his wordless instruction of up now, and then he lifts into the air, apparently of his own power. Her eyes widen in alarm as he lifts higher, laughing brightly and pushing himself off the chandelier.
“The- baby can fly,” she states, as if saying it out loud will force it to make sense. Her husband drawls something else dismissive from behind his newsprint shield, but she ignores him.
She glances back down at the blue baby, half expecting some similar feat, but he just stares back. His eyes are bright and scared, he’s sucking on what looks like an electronic binky, and he’s clinging his chubby arms around a ball that appears to contain only water and scales and teeth.
She’s hesitating and she knows it. Pursing her lips, she crouches down to get a better look at the baby, who continues to eye her with that unnervingly bright attention, and then she carefully scoops the child into her arms where he fits with only a minor adjustment needed to accommodate his head. The baby looks up at her for a long moment, the ball still clutched in his arms, and then he gets caught up in a yawn and his wariness relaxes in the steady warmth Lady Scott is providing. The ball, the fish thing in the ball, it stares up at her with an expression approaching a pout. Lady Scott has never known fish to be capable of pouting; she has also never known infants to fly or have periwinkle skin, though, so she decides not to let it bother her. She and the fish both look at the blue baby again and watch his eyes blink closed, dropping like a stone into easy sleep. When the fish looks back up to her, it looks somewhat less unhappy.
Giving a satisfied little nod, she tucks the child more securely against her and turns her attention to the other infant, who is bouncing along the ceiling like a parade balloon in a windstorm. She put her free hand on her hip and looks at the child thoughtfully. He seems to sense the attention and stops grabbing at her Christmas tree to beam down at her, big blue eyes expressive in their delight. He makes those grabby hands again, floating upside-down and somehow managing not to disturb his hair in the process, and then he hurtles with alarming suddenness towards her.
She reacts quickly enough to angle her body so that the second baby collides with her free side instead of the already sleeping babe in her arms, but it’s a near thing. She only barely manages to suppress a shout when the impact happens, rocking her backwards on her heels. That was- too fast. Too hard a point of contact. Nothing sleeveless for a week or so (she knows from experience, she recognizes the feeling and knows what the result will be) because the infant now squirming in her arms just caused what will become a bruise the size of a grapefruit just below her collarbone.
The blue baby slept through it, she realizes when she glances down to check, but the fish is looking upset again. Angry, maybe. She wraps her hand around the second baby and pulls him more securely against herself, then bounces in place with a shushing noise. Hopefully that will placate both the baby and the fish thing. The infant gurgles slightly and grips her shirt in his tiny hand, his fingers pulling the fabric taut. The fish’s frown deepens and it turns away from her in a huff. Diana frowns as well.
She thinks quickly for a moment or two, and then says in a very casually pitched voice, “Dear, would you ring the bell for me?”
Without looking up, her husband does as asked. She allows herself a moment to wonder exactly when he’ll realize what’s happened, but she can’t dwell on it because her household manager Sabitri is already striding in, her big dark eyes taking in the scene with some degree of alarm.
Lady Scott gives her best smile of understated pleasure to put the girl at ease, then immediately launches into a series of instructions, given in her typical, casual, no-argument-will-be-brooked tone. She needs diapers. Formula. A pair of cribs, a changing station, a stroller, car seats, a baby monitor, and a lot of baby clothes. Diana’s PA can make that run, certainly. It’s Christmas, but that shouldn’t be any obstacle.
“I need you to find a pediatrician willing to make a house call as soon as possible,” she says. “Discreetly.” Sabitri is taking notes in her speedy shorthand, the clever thing. “But before that, before anything else,” she lets her seriousness bleed into her tone, just for a moment, “I want my lawyer here within the hour. I won’t speak to anyone else until I speak to him.”
At Diana’s dismissive gesture Sabitri is instantly gone. Good. Diana is not willing to tolerate anything less, not today. She gives her paper-obscured husband one last look and then leaves him to go to her study. She wants to be ready when her lawyer arrives.
Lady Diana Scott is very acutely aware, sitting at her desk and waiting with an inhuman infant breathing softly in each of her arms, of the benefits of her wealth. She will use every single cent she has, if she must, to shield them.
#megamind#i've had this idea in my head for a g e s#like literal years i think#but it didn't start to coalesce until set's excellent fic about lady scott being a vicious and ruthless and utterly protective mother#and i wanted to see that applied to megamind. because. because.l because he deserves to have a loving parent dammit i'm so.#so. obviously. fanfic is the answer#elle's fanfic#fate picks its favorites#elle's writing#true gold
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