#love on tour chicago 2 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mostlysignssomeportents · 18 days

Text

How to shatter the class solidarity of the ruling class

I'm touring my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me WEDNESDAY (Apr 11) at UCLA, then Chicago (Apr 17), Torino (Apr 21) Marin County (Apr 27), Winnipeg (May 2), Calgary (May 3), Vancouver (May 4), and beyond!

Audre Lorde counsels us that "The Master's Tools Will Never Dismantle the Master's House," while MLK said "the law cannot make a man love me, but it can restrain him from lynching me." Somewhere between replacing the system and using the system lies a pragmatic – if easily derailed – course.

Lorde is telling us that a rotten system can't be redeemed by using its own chosen reform mechanisms. King's telling us that unless we live, we can't fight – so anything within the system that makes it easier for your comrades to fight on can hasten the end of the system.

Take the problems of journalism. One old model of journalism funding involved wealthy newspaper families profiting handsomely by selling local appliance store owners the right to reach the townspeople who wanted to read sports-scores. These families expressed their patrician love of their town by peeling off some of those profits to pay reporters to sit through municipal council meetings or even travel overseas and get shot at.

In retrospect, this wasn't ever going to be a stable arrangement. It relied on both the inconstant generosity of newspaper barons and the absence of a superior way to show washing-machine ads to people who might want to buy washing machines. Neither of these were good long-term bets. Not only were newspaper barons easily distracted from their sense of patrician duty (especially when their own power was called into question), but there were lots of better ways to connect buyers and sellers lurking in potentia.

All of this was grossly exacerbated by tech monopolies. Tech barons aren't smarter or more evil than newspaper barons, but they have better tools, and so now they take 51 cents out of every ad dollar and 30 cents out of ever subscriber dollar and they refuse to deliver the news to users who explicitly requested it, unless the news company pays them a bribe to "boost" their posts:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/04/saving-news-big-tech

The news is important, and people sign up to make, digest, and discuss the news for many non-economic reasons, which means that the news continues to struggle along, despite all the economic impediments and the vulture capitalists and tech monopolists who fight one another for which one will get to take the biggest bite out of the press. We've got outstanding nonprofit news outlets like Propublica, journalist-owned outlets like 404 Media, and crowdfunded reporters like Molly White (and winner-take-all outlets like the New York Times).

But as Hamilton Nolan points out, "that pot of money…is only large enough to produce a small fraction of the journalism that was being produced in past generations":

https://www.hamiltonnolan.com/p/what-will-replace-advertising-revenue

For Nolan, "public funding of journalism is the only way to fix this…If we accept that journalism is not just a business or a form of entertainment but a public good, then funding it with public money makes perfect sense":

https://www.hamiltonnolan.com/p/public-funding-of-journalism-is-the

Having grown up in Canada – under the CBC – and then lived for a quarter of my life in the UK – under the BBC – I am very enthusiastic about Nolan's solution. There are obvious problems with publicly funded journalism, like the politicization of news coverage:

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2023/jan/24/panel-approving-richard-sharp-as-bbc-chair-included-tory-party-donor

And the transformation of the funding into a cheap political football:

https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/poilievre-defund-cbc-change-law-1.6810434

But the worst version of those problems is still better than the best version of the private-equity-funded model of news production.

But Nolan notes the emergence of a new form of hedge fund news, one that is awfully promising, and also terribly fraught: Hunterbrook Media, an investigative news outlet owned by short-sellers who pay journalists to research and publish damning reports on companies they hold a short position on:

https://hntrbrk.com/

For those of you who are blissfully distant from the machinations of the financial markets, "short selling" is a wager that a company's stock price will go down. A gambler who takes a short position on a company's stock can make a lot of money if the company stumbles or fails altogether (but if the company does well, the short can suffer literally unlimited losses).

Shorts have historically paid analysts to dig into companies and uncover the sins hidden on their balance-sheets, but as Matt Levine points out, journalists work for a fraction of the price of analysts and are at least as good at uncovering dirt as MBAs are:

https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2024-04-02/a-hedge-fund-that-s-also-a-newspaper

What's more, shorts who discover dirt on a company still need to convince journalists to publicize their findings and trigger the sell-off that makes their short position pay off. Shorts who own a muckraking journalistic operation can skip this step: they are the journalists.

There's a way in which this is sheer genius. Well-funded shorts who don't care about the news per se can still be motivated into funding freely available, high-quality investigative journalism about corporate malfeasance (notoriously, one of the least attractive forms of journalism for advertisers). They can pay journalists top dollar – even bid against each other for the most talented journalists – and supply them with all the tools they need to ply their trade. A short won't ever try the kind of bullshit the owners of Vice pulled, paying themselves millions while their journalists lose access to Lexisnexis or the PACER database:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/24/anti-posse/#when-you-absolutely-positively-dont-give-a-solitary-single-fuck

The shorts whose journalists are best equipped stand to make the most money. What's not to like?

Well, the issue here is whether the ruling class's sense of solidarity is stronger than its greed. The wealthy have historically oscillated between real solidarity (think of the ultrawealthy lobbying to support bipartisan votes for tax cuts and bailouts) and "war of all against all" (as when wealthy colonizers dragged their countries into WWI after the supply of countries to steal ran out).

After all, the reason companies engage in the scams that shorts reveal is that they are profitable. "Behind every great fortune is a great crime," and that's just great. You don't win the game when you get into heaven, you win it when you get into the Forbes Rich List.

Take monopolies: investors like the upside of backing an upstart company that gobbles up some staid industry's margins – Amazon vs publishing, say, or Uber vs taxis. But while there's a lot of upside in that move, there's also a lot of risk: most companies that set out to "disrupt" an industry sink, taking their investors' capital down with them.

Contrast that with monopolies: backing a company that merges with its rivals and buys every small company that might someday grow large is a sure thing. Shriven of "wasteful competition," a company can lower quality, raise prices, capture its regulators, screw its workers and suppliers and laugh all the way to Davos. A big enough company can ignore the complaints of those workers, customers and regulators. They're not just too big to fail. They're not just too big to jail. They're too big to care:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/04/teach-me-how-to-shruggie/#kagi

Would-be monopolists are stuck in a high-stakes Prisoner's Dilemma. If they cooperate, they can screw over everyone else and get unimaginably rich. But if one party defects, they can raid the monopolist's margins, short its stock, and snitch to its regulators.

It's true that there's a clear incentive for hedge-fund managers to fund investigative journalism into other hedge-fund managers' portfolio companies. But it would be even more profitable for both of those hedgies to join forces and collude to screw the rest of us over. So long as they mistrust each other, we might see some benefit from that adversarial relationship. But the point of the 0.1% is that there aren't very many of them. The Aspen Institute can rent a hall that will hold an appreciable fraction of that crowd. They buy their private jets and bespoke suits and powdered rhino horn from the same exclusive sellers. Their kids go to the same elite schools. They know each other, and they have every opportunity to get drunk together at a charity ball or a society wedding and cook up a plan to join forces.

This is the problem at the core of "mechanism design" grounded in "rational self-interest." If you try to create a system where people do the right thing because they're selfish assholes, you normalize being a selfish asshole. Eventually, the selfish assholes form a cozy little League of Selfish Assholes and turn on the rest of us.

Appeals to morality don't work on unethical people, but appeals to immorality crowds out ethics. Take the ancient split between "free software" (software that is designed to maximize the freedom of the people who use it) and "open source software" (identical to free software, but promoted as a better way to make robust code through transparency and peer review).

Over the years, open source – an appeal to your own selfish need for better code – triumphed over free software, and its appeal to the ethics of a world of "software freedom." But it turns out that while the difference between "open" and "free" was once mere semantics, it's fully possible to decouple the two. Today, we have lots of "open source": you can see the code that Google, Microsoft, Apple and Facebook uses, and even contribute your labor to it for free. But you can't actually decide how the software you write works, because it all takes a loop through Google, Microsoft, Apple or Facebook's servers, and only those trillion-dollar tech monopolists have the software freedom to determine how those servers work:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/05/04/which-side-are-you-on/#tivoization-and-beyond

That's ruling class solidarity. The Big Tech firms have hidden a myriad of sins beneath their bafflegab and balance-sheets. These (as yet) undiscovered scams constitute a "bezzle," which JK Galbraith defined as "the magic interval when a confidence trickster knows he has the money he has appropriated but the victim does not yet understand that he has lost it."

The purpose of Hunterbrook is to discover and destroy bezzles, hastening the moment of realization that the wealth we all feel in a world of seemingly orderly technology is really an illusion. Hunterbrook certainly has its pick of bezzles to choose from, because we are living in a Golden Age of the Bezzle.

Which is why I titled my new novel The Bezzle. It's a tale of high-tech finance scams, starring my two-fisted forensic accountant Marty Hench, and in this volume, Hench is called upon to unwind a predatory prison-tech scam that victimizes the most vulnerable people in America – our army of prisoners – and their families:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865878/thebezzle

The scheme I fictionalize in The Bezzle is very real. Prison-tech monopolists like Securus and Viapath bribe prison officials to abolish calls, in-person visits, mail and parcels, then they supply prisoners with "free" tablets where they pay hugely inflated rates to receive mail, speak to their families, and access ebooks, distance education and other electronic media:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/02/captive-customers/#guillotine-watch

But a group of activists have cornered these high-tech predators, run them to ground and driven them to the brink of extinction, and they've done it using "the master's tools" – with appeals to regulators and the finance sector itself.

Writing for The Appeal, Dana Floberg and Morgan Duckett describe the campaign they waged with Worth Rises to bankrupt the prison-tech sector:

https://theappeal.org/securus-bankruptcy-prison-telecom-industry/

Here's the headline figure: Securus is $1.8 billion in debt, and it has eight months to find a financier or it will go bust. What's more, all the creditors it might reasonably approach have rejected its overtures, and its bonds have been downrated to junk status. It's a dead duck.

Even better is how this happened. Securus's debt problems started with its acquisition, a leveraged buyout by Platinum Equity, who borrowed heavily against the firm and then looted it with bogus "management fees" that meant that the debt continued to grow, despite Securus's $700m in annual revenue from America's prisoners. Platinum was just the last in a long line of PE companies that loaded up Securus with debt and merged it with its competitors, who were also mortgaged to make profits for other private equity funds.

For years, Securus and Platinum were able to service their debt and roll it over when it came due. But after Worth Rises got NYC to pass a law making jail calls free, creditors started to back away from Securus. It's one thing for Securus to charge $18 for a local call from a prison when it's splitting the money with the city jail system. But when that $18 needs to be paid by the city, they're going to demand much lower prices. To make things worse for Securus, prison reformers got similar laws passed in San Francisco and in Connecticut.

Securus tried to outrun its problems by gobbling up one of its major rivals, Icsolutions, but Worth Rises and its coalition convinced regulators at the FCC to block the merger. Securus abandoned the deal:

https://worthrises.org/blogpost/securusmerger

Then, Worth Rises targeted Platinum Equity, going after the pension funds and other investors whose capital Platinum used to keep Securus going. The massive negative press campaign led to eight-figure disinvestments:

https://www.latimes.com/business/story/2019-09-05/la-fi-tom-gores-securus-prison-phone-mass-incarceration

Now, Securus's debt became "distressed," trading at $0.47 on the dollar. A brief, covid-fueled reprieve gave Securus a temporary lifeline, as prisoners' families were barred from in-person visits and had to pay Securus's rates to talk to their incarcerated loved ones. But after lockdown, Securus's troubles picked up right where they left off.

They targeted Platinum's founder, Tom Gores, who papered over his bloody fortune by styling himself as a philanthropist and sports-team owner. After a campaign by Worth Rises and Color of Change, Gores was kicked off the Los Angeles County Museum of Art board. When Gores tried to flip Securus to a SPAC – the same scam Trump pulled with Truth Social – the negative publicity about Securus's unsound morals and financials killed the deal:

https://twitter.com/WorthRises/status/1578034977828384769

Meanwhile, more states and cities are making prisoners' communications free, further worsening Securus's finances:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/14/minnesota-nice/#shitty-technology-adoption-curve

Congress passed the Martha Wright-Reed Just and Reasonable Communications Act, giving the FCC the power to regulate the price of federal prisoners' communications. Securus's debt prices tumbled further:

https://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/117/s1541

Securus's debts were coming due: it owes $1.3b in 2024, and hundreds of millions more in 2025. Platinum has promised a $400m cash infusion, but that didn't sway S&P Global, a bond-rating agency that re-rated Securus's bonds as "CCC" (compare with "AAA"). Moody's concurred. Now, Securus is stuck selling junk-bonds:

https://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/117/s1541

The company's creditors have given Securus an eight-month runway to find a new lender before they force it into bankruptcy. The company's debt is trading at $0.08 on the dollar.

Securus's major competitor is Viapath (prison tech is a duopoly). Viapath is also debt-burdened and desperate, thanks to a parallel campaign by Worth Rises, and has tried all of Securus's tricks, and failed:

https://pestakeholder.org/news/american-securities-fails-to-sell-prison-telecom-company-viapath/

Viapath's debts are due next year, and if Securus tanks, no one in their right mind will give Viapath a dime. They're the walking dead.

Worth Rise's brilliant guerrilla warfare against prison-tech and its private equity backers are a master class in using the master's tools to dismantle the master's house. The finance sector isn't a friend of justice or working people, but sometimes it can be used tactically against financialization itself. To paraphrase MLK, "finance can't make a corporation love you, but it can stop a corporation from destroying you."

Yes, the ruling class finds solidarity at the most unexpected moments, and yes, it's easy for appeals to greed to institutionalize greediness. But whether it's funding unbezzling journalism through short selling, or freeing prisons by brandishing their cooked balance-sheets in the faces of bond-rating agencies, there's a lot of good we can do on the way to dismantling the system.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/08/money-talks/#bullshit-walks

Image: KMJ (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Boerse_01_KMJ.jpg

CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

769 notes · View notes

tooomuchcoffee · 2 years

Text

you’re so golden💛 (chicago night 2 - oct 9th, 2022)

#harry’s house #chicago night 2 #love on tour 2022

0 notes

writers-hes · 9 months

Text

tell me you need me (1 of 2) | c. berzatto x reader

It was good when you started but Carmen Berzatto had the ability to make anyone fall in love with him no matter how much you tried not to. (friends with benefits!carmen, smut, mndi!!!, unprotected p in v, smut! smut!, angst!! fluff, maybe some bad words, blood, unedited) MASTER LISTS

TAGLIST

I need you tonight. Want to go?

You sighed at the message that Carmy sent you. “Want to go” was a code for “I want to have sex.” and it’s been working pretty well for these past few months. You both needed some sort of release for the pent-up stress that you both have. Carmy, with the Bear and you, with art. You were a full-time artist; creating art inspired by food using oil paint and other forms of media. You’ve been stressed with your upcoming gallery opening next month. Would they love it? It’s quite hard to meet the expectations after winning the Herb Alpert Award in the Arts last year. It was close to Carmy’s James Beard Foundation award, if not the same. In a way, at the end of the day, you were two people excelling in your jobs except for everything else. You sucked at relationships, friendships, connection…what wasn’t artistic; you sucked at. Carmy was the same. Without thinking, you typed your response, a four letter word. Maybe you’ll see him tonight.

Carmy enters your home like he lived in it. He had his own set of keys, it was easier that way. He’s been so stressed with the Bear and the only thing that he needs is to blow off some of that steam before he can be functional again. There was supposed to be a celebrity who was wishing for a whole fucking kitchen tour tomorrow and he had to stay behind to make sure that everything was perfect.

“Hey,” he greets you when he sees you perched on your couch. He liked your apartment much better; at least you had multiple rooms and your own space. It’s not like his; there was work everywhere while yours felt homey. Except your studio down the hall—damn, how much do artists earn today?

“Hey,” you replied. “Did you have dinner yet? I can heat up some of the Chinese food I ordered earlier.”

“No, no. It’s alright,” he says, removing his shoes in the doorway. You were always so tidy and meticulous. No outside clothes on the bed; he had to learn that the hard way. “Actually, um, can-can I take a shower first? I want to wash the day away and I-I smell like the kitchen.”

“And you took the L,”

“Ubered here, actually.”

“Surge rates?”

“I was in a rush.”

“Oh,” you gulped. “Well, you still have your clothes in my wardrobe and your toiletries in my bathroom.”

“Which one?” he asked. “Which-which bathroom?”

“The one in my bedroom,” you replied. “You know where the fresh towels are. So…”

“Uh, yeah-yeah,” he says. “Thanks.” You only smiled at him. Conversation before your engagements are usually awkward because you both knew what the two of you were there for. It’s more comfortable afterwards; when he talks about the Bear or asks you about your art.

You and Carmy met from a friend of a friend. You were looking for chefs that could serve you inspiration for your paintings when she mentioned Carmen Berzatto. You reached out to him and he replied three months later, telling you that he can show you some of the recipes that he’s been working on. He’s an artist himself—Sistine Chapel art kind of stuff. He explained the components of his dish over dinner in your hotel apartment in New York. You mentioned that you were from Chicago and he mentioned that he’s from Chicago too…you drank too much wine and the rest was history.

You both stopped communicating when he met Claire but he reached out again, asking if you wanted to meet. He told you all about her and how he fucked up. You drank too much wine again. History has the habit of repeating itself.

You swore to never fall in love with Carmen Berzatto and you didn’t…not until recently. He used to leave immediately once you’re both done. Lately, he’s been staying over. He talks to you about everything. He stays over and wakes you up with coffee and some Michelin Star quality pancakes or French toast. He watches you take your first bite before he takes his, likes to watch your reaction and likes hearing your praise.

You were too lost in your reviere to notice Carmen walking to you, all fresh and clean. He lays a hand on your shoulder and kisses your neck.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks, voice deep and sultry.

“You,” you replied, reaching up to massage his curls.

“Good,” he says, removing himself from you and sitting on the opposite side of the couch. “Needed you today…but I want to talk first before…before…”

“That’s fine with me,” you replied, inching closer to him. “What’s wrong?” He puts his hand on your knee, squeezing it lightly. Since when was he so comfortable around you?

“I…I just… Mikey,” The name lingers heavy in the air. Anytime Carmen feels the crushing weight of the pressure, he says Mikey. Whenever he feels inadequate, not enough, never enough—he says Mikey.

“He’ll be proud of you, Carm,” you said, smiling at him. “Like everyone else is.”

“I’m sorry for not inviting you to the opening…Claire was-was there and…”

“I understand,” You put your hand over his to reassure him that everything’s okay. “I understand.”

“You wouldn’t have seen me,” he chuckled. “I was locked inside the walk-in the whole time and well, everything was great. What if I’m not needed?”

Is it too late for me to love you?

“Carm…” you trailed off, trying to find the words. “Of course, you’re needed. The Bear wouldn’t be The Bear without you, you know? Your family must be so proud of you because I know that-that I am. I’m so proud of you and I-I need you so much,” you told him. “I need you, Carmen. More than you could ever know.”

Is it too late for me to love you?

Maybe it was the words that you said, maybe it was the long forgotten show on the T.V., maybe it was because the T.V. screen illuminated your face in a way that was so, so beautiful. Maybe it was just him.

“Let’s go to bed,” he rasps, taking your hand and dragging you to the bedroom. Once he closes the door behind him, Carmy presses you against it, taking your chin and kissing you. It was slow and needy; this kiss was needy. You trail your hand underneath the white shirt that hugged his figure. You caress his sides up and down; softly; slowly and Carmen releases a whimper into your mouth. I need you. I need you. I need you.

“Baby,” he whispers, pulling away from you to remove his shirt. “Baby, baby, baby.”

“I need you, Carmen,” you muster the courage to kiss his neck now, sucking and nipping right under his collarbone. He lets you do it, he lets you mark him like you own him. He tugs on the roots of your hair lightly. You lick the purple bruise, nipping it again just so it could last one more week. Carmen was sighing above you, letting you take him like he wanted to be taken. His hands itch, slipping right under the waistband of your panties to cup your heated cunt. “Carmy,”

“I know, baby. Let’s get you to bed, hm?” he asks, pushing you slightly. “Lay down for me. I missed you so much. Let me show you,”

You obey his commands, opening your legs widely like he likes. He crawls until his face is right in front and removes your underwear, tossing it to the side. He’ll take care of that later.

“You’re so wet,” he groans, when he lets his index finger trail along your slit. You buckle in need; silently begging him to do more. “So, fucking wet,” he repeats, parting your folds until he sees your glistening cunt.

“Carm…” you whine. He spits on your clit and you whimper.

“Let me taste you, hm?” you heard him say, his wandering fingers rubbing all sorts of shapes on your folds. You could only nod and he takes that, licking a bold stripe. You press your cunt against his tongue and he just takes it. He licks a few more stripes before sucking your clit softly.

“Carmy,” you moan. Your hands trail down underneath your shirt, thumbs softly flicking your sensitive nipples. Carmy could just come at the sight of you playing with them but he holds back, sucking your clit harsher before plunging his thick middle finger inside you. “Oh, fuck,”

He pumps the finger slowly…in, out, in, out while he licks your sensitive bud.

“Fuck, Carmy,” you whimper. “Fuck me,”

“Later,” was his nonchalant reply; enjoying the sweet nectar that dripped from your sloppy pussy. It was better than any dessert he’s ever had before. If it was um to him, he’d have his head buried in between your legs, eating you out forever. You buckle again, pinching your nipples hard and tugging them.

“Carm…”

“I know, I know,” he says, sucking your clit harshly for one last time before crawling on top of you. “Taste,” he orders. You obliged, opening your mouth and putting on a show with the way you licked your juices off of his finger. “Fuck,” he groans. He palms himself through his boxers while you sucked on his finger. You released it with one last suck before putting your hand on top of Carmy’s to feel his hardening cock underneath. You push his hand away while you squeeze his member lightly. Just enough for him to rut his hips against your hand. Just enough for him to toss his boxers to the side.

You tried to sit up to see him pump a few strokes, moaning your name while he did. He gets off the bed, looking at the way your body moved while you breathed.

“Beautiful,” he whispers to himself before dragging your body to the end of the bed. He pries your legs open and puts one of them over his shoulder. He liked it like this, it fills you up in ways you cannot describe. “Need you to play with your tits while I fuck you, hm?”

He taps his cock against your pussy.

“Can you hear how wet you are?” he asked, sliding his cock in between your folds. You could feel the protruding vein run along your nub and you moan, massaging your breasts to show him your obedience. “Fuck,”

“Carmy…” you whimpered. “Please.”

He hums, grabbing his member and teasing your wet entrance with his pink tip. “You’re so…”

With no warning, Carmy plunges deep into you and you both groan. You were waiting for this. He’s been wanting this the whole day. He stays there for a few seconds before he thrusts in and out of you slowly.

“Fuck,”

The slopping noises inside your room reverberated in your walls and for a few moments, the sounds of your groans and skin slapping against skin heightens your arousal. Carmy thumbs your clit and he feels your walls clench around him.

“Don’t do that, petal,” he rasps, sweat dripping on his forehead. “I’ll cum fast if you do.”

“Sorry,” you choked out. He only grunts as he adjusts his pace. He was faster now and you could hear he ragged breathing. “Carmy, I need you.”

“Y-you need me,” he repeats to himself. “You need me.”

“I do,” you told him, moaning when he plunges his cock deep inside you. “Need you, need you,”

“Oh, fuck,” he groans. “Tell me that you need me. Tell me,”

“I need you, Carmy,” you whine. “I need you to cum inside me,”

Carmy’s eyes widened. You’ve never let him do that before. He always had to pull out or use a condom.

“Want me to fill you up?” he asks, his voice strained. “I’ll fill you —oh, fuck,”

“Yes, please,” you sobbed, breath hitching at the feeling of his cock twitch inside of you. “Fuck, Carmy.”

Sex has never felt this good.

You could feel the breaking point come nearer and he does too. His movements were sloppier, his breathing even more ragged that it was. Your walls were clenching around him but that seemed to arouse him even more.

“Fuck, fuck,” he grunted. “I’ll fill you up, hm?”

“Yes, please, Carmy,” you whine. He could only nod, doing his best to keep his orgasm at bay. He wanted to prolong this feeling; this emotion but he couldn’t. “Fuck, Carmy, I’m cumming, I’m cumming. Carm—oh!”

He follows soon after, moaning your name as he shoots ropes of cum inside your pussy. He could feel your walls clench around him and he thrusts in slowly, to ride both of your orgasms away.

“You-you liked that?” he asked. He doesn’t pull out. Instead he takes your other leg and hangs in on his shoulder. “We have to make sure that not a drop goes to waste.”

You nodded and felt his hands caress your legs slowly. He slowly lays your legs back down on the bed and crawls on top of you, kissing your torso, neck, and your chest while he did.

“Stay there,” he ordered and you nodded in assent. You just let him cum inside you. He walks over to the carafe on your bedside, filling the glass with water and then, taking a hand towel from your cabinet. He pours a little bit of the liquid onto the towel. You sit up when he wordlessly gives you the glass of water. He watches you finish it and kisses your head when you gave him the glass back. He sets it on the floor carefully before opening your legs so he could clean you up.

“No,” you shook your head and he stops, alert because you told him no. “I’m…I’m still sensitive,”

“Okay, petal,” he nods, taking the glass and the towel away. He picks up the tossed articles of clothing puts it in the laundry basket. He was quiet when he takes a fresh set of pyjamas and underwear from your wardrobe. “Raise your arms,” he says and you do. He puts a new shirt on you. “Lay down.” You followed him. He puts a new pair of panties on you. “Thank you,”

You were so tired now but you were still so aware of Carmy’s actions. He stands up from the bed to wear new clothes and sits down on the bed. He carefully places your head on his lap and plays with your hair.

“Thank you,” he says, bowing down to kiss your forehead. “Why don’t you sleep for me, hm?”

“Will you be here when I wake up?”

“Waffles or pancakes?”

“Waffles with whipped cream.”

Why won’t you let me love you?

There were times when you’d fight with Carmen. A disagreement over something so, so, so small. This time, it was big. It was the opening of your gallery and he promised to be there. It was a big night—multiple art collectors and mongers from all over America came to see your latest pieces. They were all inspired by the food you grew up eating in Chicago; a collection of how culture, identities, and personalities affect eating. Your paintings were in vibrant colors—cup ramen with cheese, cannoli, food that you grew up eating whenever your mom was away. There were small details on the significance of the new collection to your life and he wasn’t there. You were on the stage, telling everyone how grateful you were to the audience but you were preoccupied, looking for a familiar mop of curls in the crowd. He didn’t come. He didn’t go.

You smiled at them half-heartedly before leaving the stage, ready to be whisked away by some art dealer. You were whisked away by multiple guests, asking you for more details on the painting. You all told them everything they needed to know, what they should do if they’d like to make a purchase…

It would have been alright if he texted you…but he promised he’d be there. He promised he’d take you home. He promised.

Carmy was sitting alone in his apartment. He left The Bear earlier than usual and went straight home. He did it all, shower, put a nice suit, and fix his hair. He did it all, he even ran to the nearest florist to buy you flowers but he didn’t go.

Isn’t this what lovers do?

He wasn’t your lover. He couldn’t let himself be distracted again. He had to focus; he couldn’t fail the people that relied on him. He looked at the bag of groceries he got from the store; he was supposed to cook you something special tonight. Have you eaten yet? Fuck the suit that he paid for dry cleaning; fuck the flowers; fuck him. It must have hurt you—he knows that. Tonight was a big night and you were so excited to show him a painting that you’ve been working on.

“I won’t sell it,” you told him. “I’ll have it shipped to you first thing in the morning.”

Would you still send it to him?

By the end of the night, you were exhausted. Happy, but exhausted. It was normal; talking to everyone and being scintillating the whole night was work but it was worth it. Your paintings all had their new owners, except for the painting that you promised to Carmy. Would he still want it? You were alone in the studio, wrapping the 4 by 3 foot canvas with the best quality glassine. You were giving this to him tomorrow. If he doesn't want to have it, you’ll probably just donate it somewhere else.

You laid awake in your bed all night long, waiting for his text. It was funny, just last week he was begging you to tell him that you needed him but when you needed him most, he wasn’t there.

You arrive at The Bear just before it opens, the big canvas tucked under your arm. He was sure to be there and had always told you to use the back door if you weren’t dining. You always obliged, of course, opening the backdoor to reveal everyone. You’ve met Sydney and Richie before but you haven’t met the others yet. You were an alien in an unknown world; Carmy’s employees looking at you, as if wondering who this girl was.

“Hey,” Sydney greeted, looking at the glassine covered thing that you were carrying. “Didn’t know you were coming in today. Congratulations on your exhbit,”

“Yeah, Congrats. What’s that, sweetheart?” Richie asked.

“Oh,” you just nodded. Carmy couldn’t even look at you. “I just came here to give this to…uh, Carmy,” you cleared your throat. “Carm…?”

“Uh, yeah-yeah,” he stuttered. “Can we go to the office?”

“Sure.”

You followed him into the office while Richie tells everyone to go back to what they were doing. Your heart was hammering inside your chest, afraid that this was going to be another one of those petty fights that you’ve had with him.

You were wrong. So, so wrong.

“You didn’t come last night,” you told him, shielding yourself from him with the painting. “I…I waited.”

“Sorry,” was his laconic reply. You nodded, chuckling.

“That’s all?” you asked. “Just…sorry? No explanation, no nothing?” you asked. “I was looking for you the whole night, Carm. You promised you were coming,”

“I don’t know what-what you want me to say,” he says, looking everywhere but at you. “I-I-I’m sorry, okay? I had other plans.”

“You promised months ago that you were coming,” you repeated. “I called Sydney last night because you weren’t answering and she told me that you left early.”

“You’re spying on me now?” he asks, suddenly defensive. “I had things to do that night. I can’t-can’t just put everything on hold for-for you.” He spits his words like venom, voice getting louder with every word.

You frowned, not recognizing who the boy was in front of you. It’s not like you asked him to put his life on hold. Your heart was beating so fast in anger, ears ringing.

“I see. So you just need me around and you-you just I don’t know, call me because you need to get your dick wet?” you asked, matching his volume. “You just need me around when no one else is there to fuck you? Is that it?” you asked. “What the fuck?”

Carmy blinks, tries to think of the words he’s about to say but he couldn’t stop himself. He could never seem to stop himself.

“You’re the only one desperate enough to do so,” he shrugs. It breaks your heart in pieces, really. The nights Carmen spent nuzzling his head in your shoulder before you slept probably meant nothing to him. Your face falls, contorting in hurt at what he just said. Fuck Carmen Berzatto. Fuck him. “I’m not your fucking boyfriend. I don’t know why you expect me to just-just-just do something!”

“Maybe I wanted you there as my friend!” you shouted over. Your voices could be heard from outside but everyone else pretended like they weren’t listening to anything that you both were saying. You were shouting over each other now, the fuse just breaks. “If you didn’t have any fucking plans to actually go, then don’t give me your good for nothing fucking promises!”

“I don’t need a girl leeching on me when I’m opening a fucking restaurant. Do you want me to put everything on you just because you asked me to? I’m not your fucking boyfriend. You know that right? And maybe-maybe I don’t want to be your fucking friend either!”

“Why would I want you to be my boyfriend, Carmy? You’re-you’re fucking unreliable! You have issues that need fixing. You think Claire could fix that? You think I could fix that? You think the girls you get wrapped around your fucking finger can fix your fucked up fucking head? Huh? Is that what you think? You’re so fucking miserable you make everyone around you miserable! Grow up!” He’s hurt. That’s what you thought of him? That he was miserable? Did he make you miserable?

“I don’t need to go to your fucking art exhibition when they’re all fucking shit.”

You closed your mouth before you could protest. The pain of his words felt like a slap on the face. If he regretted it, he didn’t show it. You turned away, nodding.

“Fuck you, Carmen. Don’t fucking call me. Don’t fucking knock on my door. Don’t…don’t fucking think of me. I’m fucking done with you,”

“Yeah? You’re done with me, huh? Fuck you,” he spits back. He heard the waver in your voice; heard how you tried to steady everything. He wanted to say sorry but you were already leaving. Richie and Sydney couldn’t even ask you what happened because you were rushing out, throwing the painting you worked hard on for days at the back. Fuck Carmen Berzatto. Fuck him.

“Fuck!” his chefs could hear from outside the office. Everyone heard the vile things you both screamed at each other; everyone heard why you were so angry. Everyone fucking heard. Nobody dared to move, they didn’t want to be on the receiving end of Carmy’s anger; not when The Bear was about to open. Continuous loud bangs and sounds of some object being thrown were heard too. Sugar sighed.

“Carm?” she called from the door. “It’s almost opening,”

“I-I-I know, Sug.” he replied, blinking. “Uh, can-can you guys go ahead? I’ll be there, I just-just need to you know, calm down?”

“Okay, Bear,” she smiles, tapping the door frame before leaving Carmen in his own thoughts. He gets out of the restaurant through the back door, about to light a cigarette, when he sees the canvas wrapped with glassine.

“Fuck,” was the only thing he could mutter before taking it and sitting where the staff usually stayed at when they wanted a break. He lights up a stick and lets it hang loose on his lips while he opens your gift with shaky hands. He was so immersed in the experience, gently removing the tape and making sure that nothing was ruined that he didn’t notice Sydney.

The glassine reveals a painting of a plate of cannolis. He remembered that he told you the story about cannolis during Christmas and how he wanted to recreate that—take it for himself. He traces over the precise brushstrokes shakily.

“That’s a good painting,” Sydney spoke, her hands behind her back. “Would be a waste to just throw it out.”

“I know,” Carmy nods. “I’m sorry you had to uh, hear all of that.”

“It’s…something,” Sydney replied, making Carmy chuckle.

“I always…always seem to uh, fuck up everything,” he muttered. “I was on the way there, you know? Last night?”

“Yeah. You were so excited,”

“I was,” he coughed. “But I didn’t go because…” Words died down in his mouth. Why didn’t he go? “I’ve said some things and she-she doesn’t want me to call her anymore and I-I understand but like, I don’t know, Syd.”

Don’t know why I could never seem to just let myself enjoy things. I don’t belong anywhere else but in the fucking kitchen. It’s the only thing I was good at.

“I didn’t really want to to, uh, fuck this up.”

I want to talk to you.

Come to my apartment after your shift. Or whenever.

Carmen feels his palms sweat when he reads texts you sent him days ago. He decided to go today, finally—he was never good at confronting things; always so explosive, so defensive. He didn’t know what he’d feel like today. He knocks on your door and hears the shuffling from the other side. He just got out of The Bear; he was tired but he forced himself to go. He had to go.

“Hey,” you smiled tightly when you opened the door. “Come in.”

He nods, wordlessly entering your apartment like how henused to. Bag and shoes on the side. Somehow, this made him more nervous than usual. This was a prelude to something else entirely; he believed that.

“How are you? he asked, voice small and looking down.

“I’m…good,” you replied, looking away. “You?”

“Busy,” he replied. The air felt heavy and his palms were sweating. “I’m…I’m sorry for not being there when I promised you that I would,”

“Why weren’t you there, Carm?” you asked and he could hear the sadness in your voice. He knew that your exhibit meant a lot to you. “You…you told me you will and well, you were…the-the person I want to be there the most.”

“I didn’t know that. I’m- I’m sorry,” he shrugged. “But why? I mean, I-I don’t know art. I like my shit but I-I’m not cool or understand—“

“Because I like you, Carmy.” you told him, looking at him now and trying to go nearer. He stepped back and you stopped your tracks.

“You—what?” he asked, shaking his head furiously; like your confession offended him. “You…like me.”

“I do,” you nodded. “But…it doesn’t matter.”

“Fuck. How many times do we have to go back to this very same place for you to understand?” he asked, running a hand through his hair. He told you before that he didn’t want to date. You told him you understood. You told him he was being egotistic when he told you not to get attached. He wanted to leave. He didn’t expect this to happen—he didn’t want this to happen. “I don’t—I don’t—“

“Carmy,” you cautioned him, trying to ease your beating heart. “Can you listen to me? I-I-I like you, okay and I’ve been thinking about it too. I’m—you’re always staying behind after sex and well, I just maybe thought that you liked me too.” You replied, swallowing his rejection for now.

“I don’t,” he snaps, tone sharp. “We’ll both be miserable in a relationship. I’ll never make-make you happy. You’re right, you know? I’m unreliable and-and-and issues that I need to fix…and I’m not the one you’re looking for,”

“I’m sorry for saying that. It wasn’t my place to do so,” was your meek reply. How does he feel so far away when he feels so, so, so close?

“No, uh,” Carmen blinks, shaking his head. “It’s fine. I-I-I needed to hear those things, you know? I’m sorry too…for everything.”

“Thank you.”

“That’s it then?” he asked. He was distressed. How could he fuck this up after telling Sydney that he didn’t want to fuck things up with you? “I…I had fun,” You were the only one who kept me afloat when everything else turned to shit. I missed you when we stopped talking. I should have fought harder. What else could I have done?

“Fun,” you chuckled bitterly. “Fun…that’s the only thing you’re going to say to me?”

Carmy frowned.

“What else did you want me to say?”

“I don’t know, Carmy!” you exclaimed, pacing back and forth but never towards him. “God! Tell me that I’m important to you. Tell me that I’ll still be your friend…tell me that you—that you—that I mean more than a fuck!”

Silence. Carmy couldn’t find the words to tell you what you truly meant to him…that he wanted what you wanted too but he was too scared to fuck it all up again like he did with Claire.

You nodded, looking away. You breathed in deeply, as if trying to relieve yourself of the hurt. That’s all you’ve ever meant to him.

“You lead me along and it’s fine. I know that it’s my fault for wanting other things but at least…at least tell me that I’ll still be your friend; that I still matter to you even if I dug myself a hole by feeling things. Tell me that you still need me to put everything on hold for you because I’ve been waiting you to call me all day…”

“I don’t want you to do that. I don’t want you putting your life on hold for me,” he rasps. “I don’t…”

“But what if I wanted to?” you asked, face slightly contorted because you didn’t want to be so vulnerable in front of him. Not when he hasn’t told you what you wanted yet. Carmy was just looking at you, tapping his foot on the floor. It was a nervous habit that he developed. Fuck, he needed a cigarette.

“Can you, uh, leave?” you asked, voice low. “I…”

“No, no, no,” he begs, rushing towards you. He grabs a hold of your elbows to remind you that he was there. Would it mean anything? Would his touch convey all of the words he wanted to say?

“Carm…” your voice breaks. “Carm…”

“No, no. You’re not just that to me,” he reassures “But you have to understand that-that I can’t love you like that.”

“Carmen, please…” you beg, tears brimming in your eyes. “Please…just, just leave,”

You’ve never asked him to leave before but it seemed like it was what you really wanted—like it was what you really needed. He nods, kissing your head softly before detaching himself from you.

“I’m sorry,” Carmy said. “For-for not saying the right, uh, things.”

“Yeah,” you nod, hiding yourself from him. He hated that you had to do that when you’ve cried on his shoulders multiple times. He never liked seeing you cry; he just didn’t know that one day, he’ll be on the receiving end of your sadness. He watches you rub your forehead, biting your lip to stop yourself from crying. If you started crying, would he stay?

It’s been months since Carmy left. He’s been in his best form in the kitchen. He was making things easier for his staff; he was working twenty four hours a day. Going to The Bear early to help with prep; staying late to help them clean after a long shift of cooking and cooking and kitchen tours. He’s been getting acclaim—more acclaim, really. There was a waiting list on his restaurant and positive reviews from left and right flooded in. The Bear was dubbed as “The Restaurant of the Year” in Chicago despite being less than a year old.

He’s been doing good—perfect.

It was like he was a hamster in a fucking wheel with no other way to escape. He likes putting himself in gear, like driving fast because it makes him believe that nothing really hurts him. He didn’t like being at home; it reminded him too much of you. It reminded him of when you’d lean on the kitchen counter, a small smile on your lips while you watched him cook you something. He didn’t like sitting on the couch because it reminded him of when he slept with his head on your lap. He didn’t like it in his bedroom because he’s reminded of that night when you pulled him closer in your sleep. He didn’t like The Bear because the painting that you gave him hung so proudly by the dining area. It was marvellous—they said. How was he able to get a painting that you did when your art was so valuable and in demand?

He was moving so fast so you wouldn’t cross his mind but it seemed like no matter what he did, he'd end up thinking about you anyway.

It didn’t matter, how come a fall like that made him feel like flying? Maybe he’s waiting for it to hit him but he was feeling alright.

He was alright.

“Chef!” Sydney called, looking at Carmen who was chopping the vegetables like a madman. “Carmen!”

“Fuck, what, Sydney?!” he asked, slamming his knife on the counter.

“You’re bleeding,” Marcus told him and Carmen looked down, blood was all over the chopping board. “You’ve been bleeding for a few seconds now…we’ve all been calling your name, Chef.”

“Fuck, I-I-I’m…” Carmen was a blubbering mess, just watching his hand bleed like it didn’t matter. “I’m-I’m,”

“Take a break, Carm,” Sydney says but her partner just shakes his head. “Carm—“

“Sydney, don’t—don’t make me take a fucking break, please.”

“You’ll need to clean up and make sure there’s no more blood,” Sydney told him. “I’m not fucking around,”

“Yeah,” he nods, putting his fist over his heart and drawing circles. Sydney nods and Carmy fixes his station.

He couldn’t stop shaking, though. Even Tina saw how his hand trembled. What the fuck?

“Carmen,”

“Yeah…just…just give me a second, please.” he nods, picking his knife again and doing everything perfectly. Like clockwork. He’s back. He’s back. He’s fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m alright.

PART 2

AN: Thank you for the love! This is going to be a two-part fic because I love how everything is right now… Don’t forget to comment / reblog if you like it! I read every single little thing you guys type…even the hashtags.

TAGLIST: @kpopgirlbtssvt @morgthemagpie @hal3ynicol3 @1800-queen-trash

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto angst #carmen berzatto smut #carmen berzatto fluff #carmy berzatto x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmen berzatto #angst #smut #fluff #the bear #the bear fx #carmy berzatto smut

3K notes · View notes

harryisart · 2 years

Photo

LOVE ON TOUR | Chicago Night 2- 10/9

#harry styles #chicago 2 #love on tour #gif

552 notes · View notes

hldailyupdate · 2 years

Text

Love On Tour 2022: Chicago, Night 2. (9 October 2022)

#harry styles #harry update #love on tour #love on tour 2022: chicago night 2 #photo #twitter #social media #october 2022

286 notes · View notes

bts-boys · 1 year

Photo

181003 BTS Jin at Love Yourself World Tour in Chicago Day 2‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬ © a little braver do not edit, crop, or remove the watermark

#181002 #bangtan #bts #bangtan boys #jin #kim seokjin #Love Yourself World Tour in Chicago Day 2

7 notes · View notes

so-idialed-9 · 2 years

Text

Rainbow lights project during Sign Of the Times, HSLOT Chicago Residency 2

Especially meaningful against Harry's video projection for SOTT, stark black and white, the only time in his entire color-saturated show he does that.

#SOTT #sign of the times #harry styles #hslot chicago residency 2 #hslot chicago #hslot #harry styles love on tour #love on tour #2022 #rainbow lights #rainbow project

4 notes · View notes

thelasttime · 1 year

Text

surprise songs - eras tour

3/17 - glendale, arizona : “mirrorball” and “tim mcgraw”

3/18 - glendale, arizona: “this is me trying” and “state of grace”

3/24 - las vegas, nevada: “our song” and “snow on the beach”

3/25 - las vegas, nevada: “cowboy like me” and “white horse”

3/31 - arlington, texas: “sad beautiful tragic” and “ours”

4/1 - arlington, texas: “death by a thousand cuts” and “clean”

4/2 - arlington, texas: “jump then fall” and “the lucky one”

4/13 - tampa, florida: “speak now” and “treacherous”

4/14 - tampa, florida: “the great war” and “you’re on your own kid”

4/15 - tampa, florida: “mad woman” and “mean”

4/21 - houston, texas: “wonderland” and “you’re not sorry”

4/22 - houston, texas: “a place in this world” and “today was a fairytale”

4/23 - houston, texas: “begin again” and “cold as you”

4/28 - atlanta, georgia: “the other side of the door” and “coney island”

4/29 - atlanta, georgia: “high infidelity” and “gorgeous”

4/30 - atlanta, georgia: “i bet you think about me” and “how you get the girl”

5/5 - nashville, tennessee: “sparks fly” and “teardrops on my guitar”

5/6 - nashville, tennessee: “out of the woods” and “fifteen”

5/7 - nashville, tennessee: “would’ve, could’ve, should’ve” and “mine”

5/12 - philadelphia, pennsylvania: “gold rush” and “come back…be here”

5/13 - philadelphia, pennsylvania: “forever & always” and “this love”

5/14 - philadelphia, pennsylvania: “hey stephen” and “the best day”

5/19 - foxborough, massachusetts: “should’ve said no” and “better man”

5/20 - foxborough, massachusetts: “…question?” and “invisible”

5/21 - foxborough, massachusetts: “i think he knows” and “red”

5/26 - east rutherford, new jersey: "getaway car" and "maroon"

5/27 - east rutherford, new jersey: “holy ground” and “false god”

5/28 - east rutherford, new jersey: "welcome to new york" and "clean"

6/2 - chicago, illinois: "i wish you would" and "the lakes"

6/3 - chicago, illinois: "you all over me" and "i don't wanna live forever"

6/4 - chicago, illinois: “hits different” and “the moment i knew”

6/9 - detroit, michigan: "haunted" and "i almost do"

6/10 - detroit, michigan: "all you had to do was stay" and "breathe"

6/16 - pittsburgh, pennsylvania: "mr. perfectly fine" and "the last time"

6/17 - pittsburgh, pennsylvania: "seven" and "the story of us"

6/23 - minneapolis, minnesota: “paper rings” and “if this was a movie”

6/24 - minneapolis, minnesota: “dear john” and “daylight”

6/30 - cincinnati, ohio: "i'm only me when i'm with you" and "evermore"

7/1 - cincinnati, ohio: “ivy,” “i miss you, i’m sorry,” and “call it what you want”

7/7 - kansas city, missouri: “never grow up” and “when emma falls in love”

7/8 - kansas city, missouri: “last kiss” and “dorothea”

7/14 - denver, colorado: “picture to burn” and “timeless”

7/15 - denver, colorado: “starlight” and “back to december”

7/22 - seattle, washington: “this is why we can’t have nice things” and “everything has changed”

7/23 - seattle, washington: "tied together with a smile" and "message in a bottle"

7/28 - santa clara, california: “right where you left me” and “castles crumbling”

7/29 - santa clara, california: “stay stay stay” and “all of the girls you loved before”

8/3 - los angeles, california: "i can see you" and "maroon"

8/4 - los angeles, california: "our song" and "you are in love"

8/5 - los angeles, california: “death by a thousand cuts” and “you’re on your own kid”

8/6 - los angeles, california: "i know places" and "king of my heart"

8/7 - los angeles, california: "new romantics" and "new year's day"

8/24 - mexico city, mexico: "i forgot that you existed" and "sweet nothing"

8/25 - mexico city, mexico: "tell me why" and "snow on the beach"

#.txt #ok it's more aesthetic like this #eras tour surprise songs #surprise songs slaylist

2K notes · View notes

saiidahyunie · 4 months

Text

standing next to you

hirai momo x bodyguard!reader

synopsis: out of all the pairs of hands and eyes that momo had on her, it was yours that she wanted. better hope that you don’t get fired from your assignment after this.

wc: 5.2k

warnings: smut!!!!, cursing, mentions of bruises, violence, bondage, bottom momo, top reader, reader has tattoos ; i think that's it loll

prequel of "don't go insane" (read this first tho ofc)

⋆｡ ˚༘ ♫: standing next to you by jk

a/n: the things that i would do if i was stuck locked in a room with momo....

—

there are three rules that a bodyguard must follow:

rule #1. never let her out of your sight

rule #2. never stray far from her

rule #3. never fall in love with her.

but you broke rule #3, and with good reason; how could you not fall in love?

especially if the person you were assigned to was hirai momo.

—

your agency had a reputation for being the best in the business when it came to protecting well known individuals for numerous occasions.

the event for today was supposed to be a complete cake walk with momo, who was a dancer, rapper, model, social media influencer, and cultural icon that has gained a massive following in the past three years. this led to her getting multiple collaborations from high-profile brands that bumped up their business stock by 300% if her picture was in the store, on the billboard, or wherever there was a place for people to take notice.

so what exactly went wrong?

your boss and momo’s manager arranged for her to make an appearance at a pop up event for the clothing brand chrome hearts in new york city, followed by free time since it was her day off on her solo tour before leaving for chicago tomorrow.

things went smoothly when arriving at the store as the small team you led knew the routine of ensuring momo’s safety as you guided her into the store while she waved at the numerous fans who were waiting to enter. the pop up experience was pretty enjoyable with the numerous jackets, pants, and jewelry that was on display as it was also the kind of clothing you would wear casually outside of your suit, so you leisurely browsed while momo was doing a photo-op.

“how’s everything so far?” your boss nayeon chirps in your left ear-piece as you pick it up with your two left fingers.

“very smoothly.” you reply back as you step aside from the loud music and small crowd in the store to pick up nayeon’s voice a little better, “we’re right on schedule.”

“good! that’s what i like to hear.” she beams on the other end, “you and the others are already getting a bonus for picking this up last minute so i wanted to say thank you again.”

“no need to say thanks ma’am, it’s just what we do.”

nayeon laughs at your statement, “you’re always so reliable y/n. ever thought about taking a vacation?”

“maybe once we’re done with the tour i’ll take your offer into consideration.”

“what would i do without you being team leader?”

“just say that you’ll miss me when that vacation comes.”

“you won’t hear it from me.” nayeon replies back as you lightly laugh at the back and forth banter you and her shared, catching momo’s manager yoona approaching you from the corner of your eye.

“is it time already?” you ask yoona as you point to the watch on your left hand.

“we’re all done over here, momo’s just looking at a few more things before we go.”

“do we have to carry anything?”

“no, no, not this time.” yoona replies, chuckling at your question as she fondly remembers you helping her carry a handful of bags the last time she had a free day to go on a shopping spree.

“good to know, i’ll rally the others.” you say as you follow her out to the store again.

you make eye contact with karina, who was your no.2, standing next to the doorway, signaling to her that it was time to go. no words said as she looks to her right to mingyu, the third person apart of the team as he instantly got the message making his way over to you and karina.

“where’s the new guy?” you ask mingyu as karina immediately touches her earpiece to see if there was anything on the open channel.

you all look in the direction to where you hear the sound of rushed footsteps as the fourth guy stood in front of you, his suit looking disorderly with his hair slightly messy, his ear piece hanging off his suit.

“there’s our answer.” karina says with a bitter tone as mingyu facepalms at the new guy’s stunt he just pulled. you balled your fists as the blood within you boiled at what you just witnessed as you saw one of the store workers walk out soon after, freshening up her appearance that only indicated one thing.

“for fucks sake heechul, you’re leaving your post again on the job!?”

heechul flinches at your pressing question, he knew that you were pissed.

“y/n, i-”

“i leave you to stay close to momo for ten minutes and i see you getting frisky with the store workers? do i need to remind you why you got stuck with me after the shit you pulled the last time?”

“i’m sorry-”

“no, don’t even say that you’re sorry. i don’t know why nayeon convinced me to have you with us when it’s clearly shown you can’t even do the simple task of standing still for momo’s safety! what a fucking joke, i’m done saving your ass. we’re gonna have a discussion about this later when we get back to the hotel.”

heechul keeps his mouth closed as you turn away to find yoona, groaning out in frustration as mingyu and karina’s voices fade out from the loud music.

“what happened with heechul’s last assignment?” you hear mingyu ask karina, “from what i heard, heechul got into a heated altercation with namjoon and yoongi at an afterparty. and since then, heechul might be on the chopping block if he doesn’t clean up his act fast.”

scanning around the store to catch yoona and momo at the register, you walk up to the pair as they are about to finish their transaction as momo’s clothes are put in the bag.

“so you did buy something after all.” you say to momo as she handed her wallet to yoona. “can’t leave here empty handed.” momo subtly says as you exchange smiles with her.

“everything okay over there?” yoona asks you, “sounded like you were almost yelling at your team.”

“yeah, sorry, the new guy is still getting used to his new role. just had to straighten him out for a second.”

“must be a pain dealing with all that.”

“all part of the job.” you reply back as yoona starts to make her way to the front of the store. momo follows right after but stops at you for a second as you walked down.

“you know, i find it attractive when a woman puts a man in their place.” momo says coyly. you shake your head at the dashing compliment you received.

“you and i think alike, we both hate the same guy.” you respond calmly, biting the inside of your cheek as you try to calm yourself.

momo giggles at your little nuance on your face, “when we first met up with you guys, i could already tell that he was bad news.”

you scoffed, “funny, people called me crazy for bringing him with us in the hopes of setting him right and look what he pulls.”

a laugh is shared between the two of you as you reach the door facing toward the street. you glance over at karina and mingyu who took their respective positions on your right and left side, peering over behind you to see heechul fix up his tie before giving you the thumbs up.

“alright momo if you wanna stand outside the store for a bit to meet your fans or even sign a few things, we’ll give you the window to do so.” you say as momo puts on her hood and sunglasses, beaming a smile as she nodded at you. your heart accelerated at the cool beauty that was in front of you as the doors swung open, motioning momo to walk forward as the crowd erupted in excitement.

a lot of people came for this pop up event, the sea of people stretching on both sides of the sidewalk in the soho district as you and your team walked out with your client, scanning the area actively to ensure nothing was out of the ordinary. you then walked up to the back door of the escalade, opening it ready for momo as she took a quick video of the crowd turnout before she went on both sides signing her autograph on different items.

the popularity of this girl was insane, and the power she held left you captivated as she looked like she was enjoying the moment.

that would all change when you saw heechul get up close to one of the people in the crowd against the barrier–arguing as the last thing you saw was his fist flying.

an instant second that caused chaos.

a few more punches were exchanged as the security guards in the store swooped in to stop the fight, peeling heechul away as mingyu grabbed on to him, holding him back before he could do any more damage, but it was too late.

the front row of the crowd was put into a frenzy as the barrier in the back corner toppled over, pooling a few people including the person that heechul punched–making a dead beeline for him, while that was happening behind, you locked on momo and yoona were caught right in the middle of all the action.

shit.

in an instant, you bolted for momo and yoona, shielding them from the pool of people as they surrounded you, karina also came just in time to make a path from the sidewalk to the car. mingyu also followed suit, dragging heechul by the collar of his suit as they made their way to the second escalade parked behind you. guiding momo and yoona inside the car as you motioned karina to take the passenger seat, you hung out the side of the open door, signaling the other driver a massive T with both of your hands, telling him to follow the first car to the hotel as you went inside.

luckily the store’s security team and the small band of police officers were able to hold the crowd back for you and momo’s team to get in the cars as you drove away, the red and blue lights of the police bikes and cruisers escorting you down the street.

“is everyone alright?” you ask, assessing everyone's condition in the car.

“we’re okay, we’re okay.” yoona replies breathlessly as momo tries to calm herself after the scare that just occurred, holding her hand as you were genuinely worried about her well-being.

“what the fuck happened out there?” karina asked as you turned around to check on her as well, slightly flustered but still composed.

“fucking heechul…” you seethed as you grip the nape of your neck trying to register the present situation in your head. “that’s strike two now for him!”

“i didn’t see! what did he do?”

“he launched a fist at someone in the crowd. i don’t know who he punched but they were pissed.”

“is he fucking crazy?.”

“it’s rare that he isn’t.”

“nayeon isn’t gonna be happy when she hears about this.” karina says as you hear a frequent beep in your ear piece.

“this is l/n, come in.”

“y/n! is everyone okay in momo’s car?” you hear mingyu on the other end, his voice still distressed causing a small lisp to appear in his voice.

“we’re all good here, i told your driver to just follow us back to the hotel, we’ll regroup there.”

“you got it.”

“how is he?” you asked mingyu about heechul’s condition.

“pretty banged up with a black eye, but don’t worry i taped his mouth shut. i’m sick with his annoying ass already today.”

“you’re welcome for that suggestion. just sit tight, we’ll talk more when we get back. out here.”

—

“he what?”

“you heard what i said nayeon.”

“jesus, how bad was the situation?”

“we managed to get out before things went south, but momo is still a bit shaken up.”

nayeon sighs through the phone, “ok, it’s good that you were able to handle the whole ordeal before it got worse. i’ll deal with heechul when the tour is over, but i can guarantee you that he’ll be gone.”

“thank the lord. he’s been a pain in the ass since he got dropped.” you reply as you lightly hit your head against the wall in the hallway.

“i already told yoona that there’s been a change in the schedule, she’ll relay the info to you.” nayeon said after she laughed.

“sounds good, i’ll call you if there’s anything else.” you say before exchanging “byes” and ending the phone call.

you walk over the door to momo’s hotel room, knocking it a few times before karina answers, letting you in as she closed it immediately after. you take off your fitted blazer as you place it on the chair, before standing over yoona and momo sitting down as they were drinking water, still shaken up from the events two hours ago.

“change in schedule, momo is gonna be staying here now for the remainder of the day.” you huffed out as yoona nodded at your instruction.

“i’m sorry about heechul, he-”

“what happened earlier with him is more than enough for us.” yoona says, already agreeing before you even said anything.

“we’ll sort him out later once this all blows over, but for now we just have to deal with it.” you add on, “yoona if you want you can come with us to get some drinks at the lobby.”

“i’ll be fine y/n thank you, i think staying with momo would be more-”

“you should go.” momo interrupts her, yoona curls an eyebrow at her. “mo, are you sure?”

“it’s fine, you deserve a small break while you can.”

“are you sure about staying here alone? we can-”

“i want y/n to stay with me.” your eyes widened at her sudden request.

“if that’s what she wants, it’s okay with me.” you assure yoona’s confused expression, “i’ll have mingyu scoop you and karina up to chill down in the lobby. i’ll join right after.”

yoona nods at your proposition as karina waits at the door, exiting shortly after yoona grabbed her handbag, leaving you and momo in the hotel room alone. you then grab a glass of water for yourself as you sit across momo in the open seat that was once occupied by yoona.

“so much for more shopping.” you say, earning a chuckle from momo as you sip your water.

“stardom gets dangerous at times, but that’s nothing new for you is it?” she says, your gaze meeting hers as you dart your tongue against the inside of your cheek.

“not my first rodeo, and it definitely won’t be my last.” you respond, unbuttoning the top two buttons of your dress shirt, rolling up both of your sleeves revealing a small set of tattoos on your left arm.

“have you always had those?” momo inquired as her interest piqued with the ink drawings on your skin as they were newly revealed.

“oh these?” you flash your arm at her, showing that the whole forearm had designs on top of designs, “i got more, but you don’t want to see that.”

“and what if i do?” she asks again, her confidence brimming more and more as she got comfortable with you in the short span of time.

“for someone who’s always alluring on stage, you sure are outgoing with flirting.” you tease as momo sits forward, slapping your thigh as she snorted out loud.

“this is your second time protecting me, no? i remember you.”

“you do?” now intrigued with her observation as she hummed at your question.

“you were so shy and timid when my team worked with yours the last time i had various events across the country, but now look at you. i would be lying if i said i wasn’t attracted.”

“oh?”

you didn’t know that momo had a thing for you since the last time you worked under her.

with this shocking revelation leaving your mouth agape as your heart pounded fervently, your eyes kept getting lost in momo’s beauty features. even if she was bare-faced wearing an oversized white shirt with training shorts under, she still looked good regardless if she was wearing the outfit from earlier or now.

before you could say anything, your eyes picked up on a patch of red with scratches on momo’s right wrist, instantly grabbing it to check. your hand was more rigid and slightly bigger compared to momo’s petite hand as you examined the damage more closely.

“was this from earlier?” you ask with a slight worry in your voice.

“it was from the car door, sorry.” momo responds with a pout as she avoids making eye contact with you.

you quickly glance at her for a second after as you stood up and walked toward the bathroom, grabbing a first aid kit from the bottom of the sink, returning back to the chair as you began treating her small injury by wrapping her wrist with a bandage.

“there’s something about the way your hands move, like they’re always prepared for anything.” momo teases, you look at her as she wore a stupid grin on her face.

“if you want these hands to do something else that you have in mind, i’ll listen.” you respond softly, trying to ignore the flush of warmth spreading across your cheeks. you finish the last of the bandage wrap as you held her hand up to the side, staring at her again prolonging the gentle, intimate moment.

“done.” you say as you let go of her wrist as you wipe your hands together and on your pants, returning your gaze on momo as she leaned in a little bit closer.

“were you serious about your hands doing something for me?” momo asks with a desire churning through your body. you didn’t answer as you were left with your mouth open, still trying to think of a simple answer.

“depends on what you have in mind.”

your mind shelves a cool response but the urges from within your heart only sent one instruction to your head for you to act on one thing and one thing only–as you and momo collided lips.

a slow and rewarding kiss that makes you forget all of the other worries about your job for a second as you draw back, trying to relish in the moment and feeling of momo’s lips with yours.

“this is my way of saying thank you.” momo mutters as you kiss her again, this time with hunger as her hand wraps your head. in just thirty seconds flat, momo’s flirtiness fed your need as the heat between your legs gradually increased.

hands continued to roam around as you shifted around the room to the bed, momo straddles you as you place both of your hands lightly on her ass, squeezing it as she moaned in your mouth at the sudden touch. she pulls away for a second, looking over her shoulder towards where your hands were.

“sorry i–” you say as she returns to face you, hungrily kissing you again as your hands moved their way up on her back. her hands swatting your arms off her body as she grabbed the edge of her shirt as she slipped it off of her flawlessly, noticing that she wasn’t wearing a bra under her oversized shirt.

“holy shit momo....” you say as you pull away as momo’s arms rest on your shoulders, taking in the new territory gained as your eyes widened in astonishment.

nobody else knew of the fact that you had dreams of sleeping with momo-let alone be in the current situation that you're in right now, but my god you kept yourself well composed at the fact momo's body that everyone oogled at some point was right in front of you. correction, on top of you.

“no one else has seen me like this, this is for you only.” momo says as her face meets yours, eyes half lidded as her lust completely takes over you.

“god you look so good.” you sigh out, kissing her chest as momo moaned at the sudden contact in the way you pull her closer as your hands slide up her waist, mumbling a small “fuck” in response.

you took your time indulging momo’s breasts as you alternate between the pair, placing small kisses on each boob, usually switching it up by placing the bud of her nipples in your mouth, occasionally brushing the other with your fingers making her strain her motions a bit which made your cunt throb even more.

“touch me y/n…” momo groans out, “t–touch me more.”

you hummed in response as you stopped to catch your breath from momo’s breasts. momo saw this as an opportunity as she attacked your neck, letting out a harsh groan as the nerve senses spiked at the feeling of momo’s lips nipping away on your skin.

leaning back as momo’s lips are still on your neck, you made the quick movement of flipping her over as you were now on top of her, towering over as she rubbed her thighs together, watching you take off your dress shirt and tossing it off to the side.

“jesus,” momo says, covering half of her face as she bit her lip at the sight of you in your bra.

she sees the remaining parts of your tattoo on your upper left arm as you tied your hair up in a messy bun. your body was built, given the extensive amount of weight training you did in your spare time as there was definition in your arms, shoulders and most notably your abs.

“didn’t know you wanted me that bad huh?” you ask her as you scooched up on the bed, your knee pressing against momo’s soaking core through her shorts, making her breath hitch slightly.

“you wanted my hands? i’ll give you my hands but,” you slide your hands up momo’s waist as she squirmed at your touch, eager to enjoy the feeling more before you grab both of her hands and place them over her head, looking at you as you amusingly smirked at her.

“i don’t want you to use yours.”

fishing for your necktie that you tossed to the side as you joined momo’s hands together, tying them together in a firm knot as you placed her tied hands over her head again.

“keep your hands there and relax, i want to make it up to you for earlier.” you breathed on her neck as she shuddered at the sound of your low, husky voice.

momo nodded, impatiently waiting for your touch as you kissed her neck once more before trailing down to the lower regions of her body. from her breasts, to her chiseled abs, until you finally reach the designated area you’ve held yourself back up till this point.

you continuously work yourself at a graceful pace, making sure to mark up any open spot possible as your fingers slide down to the waistband of her training shorts, making her twitch as you seamlessly slide the shorts off of her in one quick motion, exposing her already leaking flesh as you bite your lip.

shifting yourself lower between her legs as your breath grazes her inner thighs, momo whimpers as she tries to buck her hips forward, trying to force her pussy onto you mouth yourself, you hold her down on her stomach as she whines, toying with her nerves as you latch your lips on her inner thigh harshly leaving another string of marks across her leg.

“y-y/n–fuck, j-just–”

“didn't think you’d be so needy for me to do this.” you tease, “who would’ve thought the hirai momo would have this side of her just for me.”

you give momo’s pussy a longing lick as the surge of pleasure closes her legs reflexively, putting pressure on both sides of your head. before she could literally skull crush you, you bit against her inner thigh, forcing her legs open as she yelped at the quick pain before you latched onto her pussy with your mouth again immediately after.

“so wet for me...i can't wait to ruin you.” you say, running your finger along her sappy folds as momo lets out a needy whine as you dove back into her with more urgency.

momo’s tied hands lock behind your head, ensuring that the contact your mouth was making is never ending as you add your thumb and fingers into the mix. you groan against her core as you nourish yourself with the heavenly elixir that momo was dripping out of her as you made sure to clean up every drop.

“ngh–my g–god” momo cries out as she shakes her head frantically, too fucked to think sensibly as you continue to bombard her with pleasure, pumping your fingers in and out as your tongue lathers her clit for however long you went down on her (it wouldn't matter either way since you're enjoying the contact your mouth and finger was having in her walls.)

“so good, mmf, y/n ‘m gonna fuck-” momo utters as she’s completely lost in the tantalization that you were crafting on her swollen pussy as she feels a slight pressure building up a knot inside her stomach until finally, she lets go, releasing pressure as her walls clench around your curled finger, cumming as you relish in the delicious juice, savoring every last drop.

momo throats out a spent groan, recovering from the orgasm you worked her up so well as you trail back up to momo again, wiping your chin with the last remnants of momo’s slick with your thumb sucking it off cleanly as you work your way back up with kisses.

“was that satisfying for you?” you ask momo as she laid on the mattress, still flushed after being fucked dumb just now.

“better than what i have imagined.” she sighs out as she props her tied hands to her chest, looking at you with her dilated pupils as you cup her cheek, kissing her earnestly as you scratch the side of her hair making her hum with ease.

“since you’ve been a good girl for me all this time,” you started off saying as you reach for her hands, untying them from the necktie, setting them free.

“what do you want to do to me?” you ask momo with a sharp breath as her hands automatically roam around your chest, slipping off your bra and grazing her fingers over your erect nipples.

“i want you to sit on my face.”

you gasp at her sudden request as you happily complied, slipping off your pants and underwear in under three seconds as momo repositions herself flat on the mattress, licking her lips as she prepares herself to return the favor.

hovering your throbbing core over her face, placing your hands on the headboard of the hotel bed, you were caught off guard when momo lifted her head up to latch onto your clit unexpectedly, bucking your legs as you sat down as she began to tongue fuck you, tensing up your abs as the overwhelming wave of pleasure overloaded your senses.

“jesus, mo- fuck!”

you shout out as you adjust yourself as momo places a hand on your breast, circling your nipple as you begin to slightly grind on her face. it didn’t take long for you reach your peak as you kept your pace of overestimating your senses by touching yourself, gaining a moan from momo’s excitement of how you wanted to get yourself off to her as she relentlessly lapped your pussy with her mouth as you rubbed your clit at an excruciatingly fast pace.

“momo m-momo, i- gah!” you uttered out as you came. gripping the hearboard and eventually her head as you ride out your orgasm, breathing heavily, mumbling a string of curses as momo continued to clean you up of the mess you made on her face, hips shivering at the latching of her mouth as she retracts herself with a loud “pop” from your puffy pussy as you topple over momo's face, laying down right beside her, using the last bit of moving strength to shift her over to you as she grabbed the blanket covering you both.

as the cover nestled over the both of you; soft, sensual kisses were shared as the lust was then replaced with tiredness as you and momo’s hand rest on each other’s cheek.

“did you enjoy that?” you ask as a puffed up smile appears on your lips as momo laughs amusingly.

“i did.”

“how long have you–”

“ever since my first outing showcase.” momo answers your question quickly, “i’ve been hoping to get you assigned with me again.”

you laugh as you move your arms for momo to lay her head on your chest, kissing your breast once more as she nestled into you, letting the sleep consume her.

“i’ll make sure your name gets top priority next time you have an event.”

—

you don’t remember how long it’s been since you and momo hooked up, but from what you could assume in the first seconds of waking up to the sunlight beaming through the curtains, it was probably the next day.

trying to shift over as you felt a weight on the right side of your body, you look over to see momo still fast asleep with her face smudged over her shoulder, her arm dressed just under your boobs as her breath tickles your neck.

“morning…” you whisper to her ear as you plant a kiss to her temple, shifting your body facing her as she stirs for a bit.

momo shifts around, letting herself stretch a bit before returning her gaze on you as you prop yourself on your elbow, “hi, y/n.”

you lean forward to give her a soft peck as she basically melts at the touch of your lips, tickling her after by showering more kisses all over her face.

“did you…stay the night?” momo asks you as lay on your side again, feeling the soreness settling between your legs.

“yeah, sorry i should’ve-”

“it’s okay, i didn’t mind.”

“okay good.” you say giving her another kiss as you hear your phone vibrating on the small table next to the bed. you reach over to see who had called you, only to notice the numerous notifications in the team’s group chat as well as a few missed calls from nayeon. you would worry about it, but knowing karina would cover for you due to the impounding stress of your leadership gig as you sigh with discontent as you make a quick phone call.

“it’s y/n. yes. yes i’m aware. okay, i’ll be down shortly.” you said in your brief conversation with karina over the phone as momo slowly sits up, the blanket dropping down to her waist, showcasing all of the present marks on her body, and it wasn’t even all of them…

“you gotta go now?” momo asks you as you start to put on your panties and pants, grabbing your bra and wrapping it around your waist.

“yeah, just a quick meeting with karina and yoona in the lobby.” you reply as you look at the work you did on momo and needless to say, it was hearty work done right.

“you might wanna look at your neck y/n.” momo says with a sultry tone as you walk to the mirror to see the extensive damage and fuck, your neck was bruised.

you scoffed at your reflection, running your fingers over them as momo laughs at you.

“think someone will notice those marks i made on you?

“you’re lucky i packed a few turtlenecks for this tour.”

#saiiidahyunee #twice x reader #kpop x reader #twice smut #twice imagines #kpop smut #twice #hirai momo #twice momo #momo smut #momo x reader #hirai momo x reader #did i also mention smut?

501 notes · View notes