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thepunkmuppet · 6 months

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I have spent so much time thinking about the miss holloway musical WHICH THEY HAVE ALREADY WRITTEN and I need to spill my thoughts about it

there is no point or end to this it’s just a brain fart of all the thoughts I’ve been having so enjoy I guess lmfao

“backstory”. it will be about her backstory. was she an 80’s music star who sold her mortal life for fame in a deal that backfired on her?? or was she a woman with the gift about to be hanged by the hatchet men who saved herself by making that same deal?? HOW FAR BACK DOES THIS GO IS WHAT IM ASKING WE KNOW FUCK ALL ABOUT THIS WOMAN

if it’s the former, I would love to maybe have mariah as casey (the girl with the gift in the witchwood who asked for her autograph) be an actual character who holloway maybe tries to help. also kim singing 80’s songs fuck yeah

and if it’s the latter then,,, oh wow. some heavy musical numbers, a shitload of hatchetmen / church of the starry children lore, and maybe another form of the lords in black (maybe the creepy hooded figures that we see drawn in the black book???)

also sorry EDIT I just looked at this picture again and the middle one (probably wiggly) is holding a knife. there’s no fucking way that’s not the black blade this is absolutely miss holloway guys omggggg

I would love to see this scene on stage with kim!!!! this would make 5 different forms of the LIB that we’ve seen / heard about (dolls, teens / humans, their true forms, wiggly in made in america, and whatever this is). I’m just imagining you see these black hooded figures, and then in the pro-shot you get a good look inside their hoods… and their faces are NOT human. like just imagine a massive purple eye staring out of one of those hoods, maybe even moving and blinking, a cool animatronic thing. SO CREEPY!! I also love the idea of switching up the actors again - I love jon so much as wiggly and I don’t think they would change him bc of his voice, but with the rest of them I think any actor can play a LIB which opens up so many possibilities…

I also would love to know how miss holloway met duke, and potentially even how many times they have met and then he had to forget her. considering the fact that we now have weird lore about his dad in 2005, did she know duke when he was younger?? did she help him out when he was a teenager, or help his dad?? is it a family thing, like she’s vowed to watch over the keane family or something??

duke’s dad is a big part of this tbh, because what a random insane lore / backstory drop, like WHAT? I genuinely have no idea what douglas keane sr’s murder could be about, except that it ties in to duke and to wilbur. and shows that 2005 is SO DAMN IMPORTANT

2005 was the year hannah was born, the year the portal to the black and white was created, the year wilbur cross went insane and became a disciple of the LIB, the year miss holloway took on the mantle of “miss holloway”, and (very likely) the year miss holloway and wilbur fought. so i think it’s safe to say that the musical itself will be set in 2005, which to me means macnamara and wilbur backstory alongside holloway and duke, which is very very fun

I like the idea that wilbur and macnamara were canonically together, and I really want to see pre-LIB wilbur. I also love the idea of macnamara and holloway working together or even becoming friends - despite being set a decade and a half before nightmare time, it would feel like the culmination of the two hanging plot threads / overarching arcs to me. also the idea that it was holloway who introduced macnamara to the paranormal and therefore essentially set up PEIP and doomed wiley is some juicy stuff that I would LOVE to see, especially if either macnamara or wiley lived in hatchetfield as kids and miss holloway helped them, inspiring whichever one of them to set up PEIP

ok so leading off of that I have a clear vision of a potential final scene that is driving me insane, and that’s the main reason why I patched together this post.

the final scene is the fight between miss holloway and wilbur, the one that happens in every single timeline.

and the basic idea is that we see both fights at once. there’s a song, and the stage is like black friday and spies are forever, with a level above the stage the actors can walk up to and stand on. joey and kim sing, and do their bit on the stage, but above the stage there are either doubles or a projection, mirroring the choreography. only in the pro-shot version, they would splice in joey and kim playing both pairs, which I just think would turn out looking really awesome despite being tricky to pull off live.

and yeah basically at the exact same time, one wilbur stabs holloway, and the other holloway stabs wilbur, creating a gorgeous visual representation of the newly splintered timelines.

either that or they do a trail to oregon and just do a different ending each night, and then splice them together in the pro-shot like I was saying. but I personally prefer the first one, if they’re able to pull it off and make it look good

and duke shows up just after that, having followed miss holloway throughout the story so far. and in the universe where wilbur’s dead, miss holloway makes him forget it all, hence this being the year that she takes on the new name and the fact that we know he has forgotten about her / her true past before. and then in the universe where holloway is dead, he holds her as she dies in his arms. bonus points if we get dying holloway saying “please don’t forget me” and living holloway saying “you have to forget me”. oh and just to be cruel, both dukes saying “I could never forget you” at the same time :) stew on that for a bit. yeah. fuck you I guess lol I woke up and chose violence today apparently

the idea of the two of them finding each other again after that in some timelines is just gorgeous to me, especially given the fact that NMT3 seems to suggest them finding each other AGAIN after she needs to make him forget. truly star crossed lovers they are so insane for this

in summary I guess what I’m trying to say is I think it will include miss holloway’s full backstory and then be mostly set in 2005, and centre around the opening of the black and white portal (macnamara and wilbur), miss holloway meeting duke (wilbur murdering duke’s dad, possibly something with lex and hannah if duke was already a social worker) and eventually the big fight between holloway and wilbur, ending in the audience seeing both potential endings. also obviously a reference to hannah’s birth because that seemed to be some kind of catalyst. thank you for coming to my utterly deranged ted talk goodbye

#anyway yeah that’s my two cents lmk what you think please please please!!!!#the idea of the holloway musical is keeping me up at night it’s literally all I can think about #miss holloway #duke keane #douglas keane #wilbur cross #uncle wiley #general macnamara #general john macnamara #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #hatchetfield universe #lords in black #nightmare time #nmt #starkid #team starkid #starkid productions

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i-bring-crack · 3 months

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My Roman Empire is knowing how well Haein and Juhee would get along in general due to their shared experiences and the way they both are so eager to find a comfortable place in which hunters and magic beasts don't plague their thoughts 24/7 but everyone in the wiki and reddit(mostly wiki) pin them AGAINST each other for a GUY.

Braincells dead Jinwoo has two hands and both shall be for hitting those dumbasses on wiki cuz like seriously?! Seriously!?

"Oh Haein only likes S rank Jinwoo not E rank jinwoo!"

Because she never saw him! Why do you need to blame HER for something she literally couldn't control! In fact even if she had seen him as an E rank she wouldn't detest him at all! Why? Because it was stablished on. Her. Own. Presentation. That Haein took time off her OWN schedule to look after the miners and the pick up team so that no one would get hurt during their work. She CARES for the lower RANKS. E, D, C, B, A she puts herself up front in any case of danger, even went out of her way to inspect a suspicious looking person because it could threaten her own guild mates!

"Oh Juhee always took pity on Jinwoo she never really loved him. And she even said she didn't like to constantly heal him."

You oblivious clown SHE had asked HIM for a date, waited for him to heal, still went on raids despite her trauma to. Ask. About. Jinwoo. And. Meet. Him. I swear everything this is brought up it puts me in a coma because how?? Do?? You miss?? that??? It was all in the first cour of the story! Only on the LN? Even so she still waited for Jinwoo all this time to give him back the crystal and let HIM choose when they would have their date by coming to visit Busan.

It wasn't Juhee's decision to leave that made it impossible for their relationship to grow again, it was Jinwoo who decided to cut it off and never go see her again.

Also really? You want me to believe Juhee was pitifully healing this man at every point, taking care of him for more than a year, and even asking him on a date out of pity? Year of pity? Does every good action someone does for a long time suddenly became pity because Juhee scolded him for going on SUICIDE MISSIONS EVERY DAMNS TIME. Everyone told him it was a bad idea! And yet no one has sticking with him for so long as Juhee did! You know what's actual pity? What Kim Sangshik did towards Jinwoo, what the rest thought about Jinwoo, how the hunters sighed everytime they saw him because they knew he was weak as a stick.

Juhee stood up for him, healed him, Jinwoo even had a chance to confide in her but his own insecurities of weakness where eating him up and he never NEVER got the chance to say why he is going to raiding. And you know what happened after? Yes kartenon temple— But Juhee STILL stayed with him, healed him to the brink of exhaustion, trusted in him, confided in him, asked to even go on a freaking date beforehand. That's. Not. Fuking. Pity. That's. Sincere. Love.

"Oh but Haein wouldn't be attracted to him because of his smell!"

I will agree it's shitty they gave her such an interesting power just to be used like that. But she didn't instantly fall in love there. She fell FELL in love when she was saved. Being in the grip of fear every day and hoping you survive each time, only for you to think it's the day you die yet survive thanks to someone who you know is kind because he saved your guildmates before —yeah, that will do things to your brain I get it. It's even studied to some extent how people tend to fall in love with those that save them. And Jinwoo reciprocated that, shared those feelings of fear she had of being in the battlefield constantly and wishing a peaceful life instead, they hit it off and that's it. Stop bringing up the idea of 'Oh it was just his smell'that made the romance possible. Heck post rewind she actually gets interested in him due to her memories (and fuking magic I mean who wouldn't want to know wtf was that magic after seeing it irl) instead of his smell.

"Haein is Canon anyways Juhee would never be compatible."

You are like the catholic church but worse, a coward of feebleness and take Canon as perfect despite complaining of the ending get outta here.

"But Juhee/Haein have more chemistry with Jinwoo than the other!"

Stop lying to yourself, Jinho has more chemistry with Jinwoo than both of them combined.

#no kinkshaming author but youve described haein's hands so much i think i will see them in nigthmares #solo leveling #cha hae in #lee ju hee #yoo jinho

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a-little-bit-of-tradition · 3 months

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Hello! Some of you may have seen me around. I'm technically a nobody in this fandom on here as I like to keep to myself, but am taking a plunge and getting this off my chest now that the show's over for me. I don't see myself as a writer, but I have my own headcanons now for how I would have taken the Upstead story that I've written out and thought I'd share in case it helps other people. I've lost a lot of ships in my time! It never gets easier, you just learn new coping mechanisms. Will continue posting/reblogging content of older seasons to remember what we had. 💕

As I mentioned here in tags, events may have given them a nudge, but all their decisions were made out of love. They may have experienced trauma and their own demons that influenced their methods, but this relationship and being together was always where they wanted to be. Their relationship was never a trauma response. Immediately leaning on someone else is a trauma response.

Headcanon 1: (personal fave) Tracy leaves first half of season.

In those 6 months, Jay and Hailey were talking and were both starting to open up and connect again. We learn divorce is brought up but they choose to work through it. Hailey was therefore feeling less pain and reintegrating herself back in the team. Jay lets her know that he has an end date and he wants to come home to her if she wants him too and that he's sorry. He thought that was what he needed but now knows all he wants is a life with Hailey.

Hailey decides that she's experienced enough in Intelligence and wants to try something new and lets Voight know she's leaving and that she and Jay are good. We learn Hailey and Jay have made plans to leave Chicago as they both have too many ghosts and need a fresh chapter. (Insert casual reference/joke to starting with a very belated honeymoon/reconcilation time, perhaps in a cabin in Northern Wisconsin if that still exists, or just anywhere).

Once Hailey has left, we later learn through a team conversation in passing, that they are in Seattle (humour me!) and she has taken up a new position in a role that's closer to the cop she wants to be. And Jay is doing something quieter in a more educator/training position rather than full combat. The two are happy and now prioritising their marriage and joining their lives together.

Headcanon 2: More in line with canon with my attempt to try and make sense of it...

Hailey and Jay are now divorced. Jay could hear Hailey was in pain in those 6 months and felt obligated as the cause of it to free her from him, even though we as the audience knew it was the opposite of what Hailey wanted from him which was to just come home. Hailey's mad because it's not how she wanted things to go but doesn't actually tell Jay that, thinking she has to let him go, so now has to bear a life without the man she loves and focus on the one thing she has avoided, (according to canon) herself.

Through talking with Kim she hesitantly decides to start therapy and in the next 5/6 months, slowly starts to think about who Hailey is and what Hailey wants. She decides that she's ready to leave Intelligence and try different areas of policing. She's a "good cop" but wants to be a better one.

Then in the last 2 eps, Hailey has reached out to Jay, to let him know she's ok and hopes he is too. He's thrilled to hear it as he didn't want to reach out in case it caused her more pain and feared she hated him. She's in a better place and at this point they can talk as old friends and she tells him she has a new job and will leave soon. Jay later mentions he has an end date and that he'd love to see her if that's something she'd want. She cautiously agrees, as she knows that is in fact what she does want, and they make plans to. We learn next season through the team that they are trying again with a fresh start.

💕

#didn't we almost have it all #chicago pd #upstead #hailey upton #jay halstead #completely ignoring the jason part #my headcanons #upsteadforever

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awakefor48hours · 5 months

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2, 4, 8, 16 for marinette? i know what you are (miraculous ladybug enjoyer)

*me kicking aside several bottles labelled "miraculous ladybug enjoyer* No one was supposed to know about this, Tam.

Character ask game

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

There's a lot of things that I love about her but I think my favorite is how feminine she is. That might seem a bit weird but typically when it comes to writing female protagonists who aren't like the other girls, there's usually a need to make them hate things that are traditionally feminine as a way to make them stand out but that's not true for Marinette. She wears makeup, loves fashion, spends her free time sewing, and bakes. She's never put down for any of this and Marinette even describes herself in the intro as "just a normal girl with a normal life."

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Now that I'm starting to ship Azula and Marinette, I'd say ATLA. But for non-shipping reasons, then I'd say The Owl House.

Marinette does have a lot of personality traits that match Luz's in that they're both magical girls with ADHD (I know it's not canon for Marinette but she might as well have ADHD) and that have a knack for getting into trouble but start to grow a lot more confident after being introduced to magic, only for things to take a dark turn. Starting to show signs of suicide after this dark turn but then after being around friends and family, starting to be confident again.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

What doesn't this fandom do that I despise at this point? Marinette has been the punching bag of the fandom for years and it's pretty annoying. But I'd definitely say that the fandom will reduce her down to an annoying love interest.

Marinette has a lot going for her but so many times, the people in the fandom will get mad about the fact she's very obsessive with her crush on Adrien despite the fact that the show makes it clear it's a self-destructive character flaw brought about from anxiety and not some cute character trait you should aspire to be. I definitely do think part of this is rooted in misogyny as Adrien has done very similar things with his crush on Ladybug.

She's literally a neurodivergent minor (she's literally 13 throughout all of season 1 and then turns 14 in season 2).

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

I actually had to think about this question the most because at this point, I ship with basically everyone. I mean

this is an unedited screenshot of one of Marinette's bullies who hates her. But out of all the characters, then I'll say Kim.

There's a lot I could say but the main reason has to do with the fact that trying to date Kim is the source for a lot Marinette's current anxiety.

#ask game #moots ask #suicide mention #mention of suicide

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udonthreens · 2 years

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top 5 disco elysium moments i have never played the game but ithink you should explain it like i know everything already anyways

anon uve triggered my autism beam

these r vaguely ranked but also i. i dont promise coherency and if i thought abt it with more brain theyd be different.

5) ok this is the last one im writing and idk. theres so many good scenes and moments and nevermind. the chair. the fucking CHAIR and evrart. it took me 200hrs to see what happens when u PASS the composure check like. tbh failing this check is basically canon. slide down it like a jello shot. again like the megarich container guy this is one of those possible early moments of 'ou this games a fucking weird comedy' and i just. best way to assert dominance with the corrupt commie boss like 'what a great display of... idek what that was' and im pretty sure u lose a rep point with kim if u fail it too like. kim dont be mad this is just my interogattion technique im not giving the rcm a bad rep i promise kim

actually some honourable mentions: lamby, boardgames with kim, joyce pale convo, kim voice dilligent boy, THE CHURCH I DIDNT MENTION THE CHURCH i love doin the dance after gettin shot its so funny. love the rave kids. shivers voice theres a hole in my heart. the fucking 'lookin to score some d girl!' bit with kim & acele thats comedy gold actually. thats brilliant. i might just start listening everything. pinball with kim when u pass it im just like. kim why dyou sound so smitten . the piss and fuck jackets. actually i really like the whole bit with the working class woman that was Devasting. even more so when i realised u could actually tell her ud look for her husband ...... i liked the jamais vu viscal pleasure wheel bit after (i think that was added with the update? yes it was) altho i dont remember specifics just. his brain reconstructin smth as idk.. smth to make him feel better? felt bittersweet. i should go see that scene again.

ok ill fuckin wrap this up. 'are u... a really good detective?' great line and not a moment per say but. the fact that jean just. hangs around the whirling for several days in that fuckin wig like, obvs he doesnt move spots bcs its a video game (despite the edc lines showin that he does do other shit) cuz u need to know where to find him. but he just fuckin commits like. the character building from all this shit for whats technically a minor character. brilliant. doesnt HE have a fuckin job to do. also titus is always in the whirling for the same video game reason so like. yes. yes to that rarepair.

3) communist book club and the tower building that was soooooo cool not to mention the fuckin hilarity of readin bout inframaterialism for the first time nd going "???? is this pseudoscience in the game or can it ACTUALLY fucking happen like wtf"

2) karoke. pass over fail tbh limbic system KILLS it (and its more lyrical spoken word doesnt fit the song nd also i thot id actually hear harrys voice during that scene and we kinda did but like thats a different tangent) and kims support 'detective du bois... it was down right tragic' and the edc or concept check? concept i 5hink that was like 'to him that represented being an rcm member perfectly' like HELLO??? kim bestie its not 2 late for a career change. AND not to mention gartes reaction to it like... u really get the feeling that he Will get rid of the machine if harry fucks it up. however i do like the pass as well bcs a) harrys had enough cringe fail b) jeans deadbeat litany of 'yeah its shit it sucked awful' like. thats how he talks 2 harry when hes being NICE its so funny. het life partners <33

4) mega rich light bending guy. AGAIN the weiss thingymay coefficent where ur like 'is this an actual Thing or is harry just fuckin insane' nd also i crit succeeded on my first playthru real early on when i hadnt seen any of the wacky shit yet nd it just. the -2 if u have the artcop thought the fuckin ultralib shit . u get like 4 ultralib points at LEAST if u pass/fail the right concept check. god not to mention kim earnestly suggesting rcm reforms like kim bestie kim kim my bestfriend kim its not 2 late for a career change. also if u get the 100 real and kims like 'ur full of surprises most of them bad but some of them good' soooo true <33

1) salami man.

#answered #anon

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therealvinelle · 3 years

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I know this is like taking a bat to the beehive but... I really wanna hear your opinions on the whole... Imprinting thing

(Note before we go any further: this meta is written purely about the shapeshifting aspect of the Quileute characters, I don’t at all get into the racism in Twilight or any kind of social commentary. This is a purely watsonian meta. Others in this fandom have already addressed the racial dynamics at play, far more eloquently and knowledgeably than me. If I say something in here that’s in any way offensive, that’s not my intention and I’m open to criticism.)

Ooh imprinting.

I touch upon it here, basically I hate it.

The imprinting is part of this theme where the shapeshifters lose their free will and autonomy, and I find it tragic, cruel, and unnecessary.

First of, the fact that they have to phase at all.

They’re made warriors to protect their tribe. There’s no choice involved, only genetics and magic irrevocably changing their lives, and at a ridiculously young age, too. Sam is the oldest of them, and he is 19.

Violence is an inherent part of what they become. Their purpose is to protect the tribe, by fighting vampires. Not only is this insanely dangerous (we see Jake get so injured by a single vampire that he’s bedridden for weeks), but if they succeed, they will have killed. In the singularly brutal manner of tearing apart and burning someone who looks a lot like a human, who talks and might beg for their life, at that. And I remind you, most of these shapeshifters are literal children. They might not see vampires as people, but all the same, killing one can’t be good for their mental wellbeing. (Thought: Perhaps an argument can be made for Laurent’s death having a part in the turn Jake’s personality took? Some, though not many, of the symptoms for PTSD do fit. I don’t know enough about PTSD to pursue this train of thought, but it occurred to me just now, in particular he becomes quite aggressive and prone to outbursts after that incident, so into a parenthesis it goes)

Not to mention how inhumane that responsibility is. Vampires in the Twilight-verse are terrifying, and the shapeshifters might have the power to fight them. But (and this is where I plug one of my all-time favorite animes, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, as it asks the question “Is it okay to sacrifice yourself for others?” because that’s... well there’s a parallel to be made to the shapeshifters. It’s on Netflix!) does that mean they should? Is it really their responsibility? Again- they’re kids!

Then there’s the time Sam lost control, and accidentally mauled the girl he loved. And it’s so cruel to both him and Emily. Sam never chose to have to control himself in the first place, he never chose shapeshifting. He didn’t choose to imprint on Emily either, and he didn’t choose to lose control that day. At no point in the series of events that led to Emily being mauled did Sam have any real choice, and yet he will shoulder the guilt for what happened for the rest of his life.

These kids get superpowers, and several of them seem to enjoy being shapeshifters, but the fact remains that they now carry this huge responsibility to protect their families and homes, doing so is incredibly dangerous, they lose out on their regular lives, and they can’t opt out of it.

This all sucks, but then we get to the fact that they are deprived of their free will, as their alpha can issue an order they physically can’t break. The alpha becomes alpha because of bloodlines, not because of a democratic election. Jake got a mockery of a choice in that he could choose to become alpha himself, or let Sam continue, which was really just choosing between a rock and a hard place. There is no limitation to what this order can be, from “don’t say X to person Y” to “let’s kill someone you love”. Jake has to struggle to break that last one, and he’s only successful because of the bloodline thing letting him become his own alpha.

Oh, and there’s the massive invasion of privacy when they have a hive mind. Cool concept, less cool to have it be reality. Leah is the poster child for how a hive mind can backfire, and they can’t opt out of this.

I’m not good at gifs, but the shapeshifters just make me think of that gif of someone flicking a lightswitch on and off, “WELCOME TO HELL!”. Of course, Twilight in general is a pit of despair for everybody, so I suppose that gif really is... well it sums up all of canon.

So, we have these kids aged 19 or younger, as of Breaking Dawn they skew as young as thirteen, their lives are turned upside down by something they can’t opt out of, they must shoulder this huge responsibility to protect their homes and families from the terrifying threat of vampires, and on top of all of that, they must obey orders that are so irresistible, they can compel them to harm someone they care for.

With all of that in mind, you’d think that the shapeshifters had enough on their plate. That through all of this they would at least retain their selves, and be able to look forward to a future where they could stop phasing, and go on to live normal, human, lives.

Yeah, NOT IF THEY IMPRINT.

I’ll just quote Jake’s description:

Everything inside me came undone as I stared at the tiny porcelain face of the halfvampire, half-human baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was—my love for the dead girl upstairs, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self—disconnected from me in that second—snip, snip, snip—and floated up into space.

I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was.

Not one string, but a million. Not strings, but steel cables. A million steel cables all tying me to one thing—to the very center of the universe.

I could see that now—how the universe swirled around this one point. I’d never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was plain.

The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood. (Breaking Dawn, page 237)

Everything that made me who I was disconnected from me.

Jake’s love for his father, his home, his very own self, it’s all gone now. And while I have thoughts on the authenticity of this imprint, whether it was organic, the description above is apparently how imprinting feels. It’s along the lines of what Sam, Jared, and Paul all describe.

I don’t think I can put into words just how devastating I find imprinting, I think the above quotation speaks for itself. And as with all other shapeshifter things, there is no choice involved.

We see its devastating effects in the Emily, Sam, and Leah debacle. Sam and Leah were serious together, so much so that they were engaged. Sam had fallen for and chosen to be with Leah. Perhaps they would have broken up eventually, but Leah was still the choice he made. Then he imprints on Emily, and all that is for naught. He had to break up with Leah, who if she hadn’t phased never would have learned why, Emily and Leah’s relationship is ruined, and Emily must forever live with the knowledge that if Sam had his free will intact he would be with another woman.

Then there’s Jared and Kim. Kim crushed on Jared, but Jared never noticed her. The fact that they were in the same class is damning: if a boy is attracted to a girl, he's gonna notice her. Jared never did.

Quil imprints on Claire, who is a toddler. That’s just a recipe for misery and disaster all around.

And I’ve only touched the shapeshifter side of things. They lose their autonomy and freedom, but the imprintées draw the short straw too. They’re now responsible for this other person’s happiness. Sure, having someone who’ll be whatever you need them to be sounds nice (well, it sounds horrifying, but I’m playing ball) on paper, but you can’t opt out of them being like that. The imprintée can’t say “Sorry, not interested,” and she certainly can’t shut the imprinter out of her life, not without irrevocably ruining the imprinter’s life. The imprinter needs her. She’s the center of his earth now, but she didn’t choose to be.

Imprinting is a liferuiner for everyone involved.

Then we have the question of what imprinting is even for. I’m afraid I agree with Billy, that it’s for procreation. We see Sam, who was dating a woman about to phase (even if Leah isn’t infertile, she’s a warrior now. She can’t run in the woods and fight vampires, and gestate and nurse a child at the same time) conveniently imprint on her cousin, who as cousin to Leah is from a shifter bloodline. Claire, as Emily’s cousin, has those same genetics. Paul imprints on a woman from the Black family line. Jake is the outlier, but either Renesmée’s gift helped that imprinting along, or he imprinted because of the offspring they could potentially have (I firmly believe it’s the former because the latter... NOPE. Also, I can’t imagine whatever magic drives imprinting would want vampiric progeny for the future generations. Regardless of Renesmée’s person, her biology is wired to desire human blood. That’s exactly what Jake is supposed to protect people from. Bad match.).

I just.... ughhh. God, I hate imprinting so much, and on every level.

To me, everything about the shapeshifters is about free will, autonomy, and the loss thereof. And it would have been beautiful if their story was about reclaiming that, but it isn’t. None of this, with the exception of the alpha orders, is even acknowledged.

So, in summation, yes I hate imprinting, but it’s only the horror cherry on top of a very sad and problematic cake.

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hmslusitania · 3 years

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I was scrolling through your blog and got a wonderful idea. Hear me out. The fire fam. But in a leverage plot. They are all criminals playing Robin Hood and evening the score for the little guy. Idk I just love it and both shows have given me all the found family I could ever desire. But just think, instead of joining the 118, they’ve all had moments where they had to make that choice of what direction to go. And instead of being LAFD they turn to crime. And still find each other. Because yes.

So, Anon, my dearest. This is a screenshot of the table of contents in my "Potential AU Ideas" document. Which I created back on March 9th (I started watching the show on March 1st). You may note that the very first entry is, in fact, a Leverage AU.

I am incredibly unlikely to write it at any point because I am 100% sure I would just do an absolute hatchet job with the plots because I am nowhere near as clever as John Rogers et al, so you have given me an excuse to talk about what the details would be:

To start, we have our Mastermind, Bobby, who used to definitely be on the side of right and good, but disaster struck his family, and you know how that building they lived in was 0% up to code, disconnected sprinklers, faulty alarms, highly flammable materials? Well, the company he worked for insured that building, and do you know who faced zero charges and even made money off this tragedy?

So anyway, he is invited to crime, and would necessarily pick up his crew of the following:

Hen Wilson, an extremely talented hacker

of note, her rival hacker in the other team is Karen. They met back in the 90s in a hacker forum and it takes them several jobs as rivals to realise they're in love, it's great

Karen steals Christmas as a way to flirt with Hen at some point (and donates it all, obviously, because she's Karen)

Eddie Diaz, retrieval specialist.

He's also just like...inexplicably good at basically any physical skill? Need him to play baseball for a job? Check. Need him to be a dance instructor? Check. Need him to be a music star? Check. They have found exactly one (1) thing Eddie can't do and it's cook, but fortunately Bobby's got them covered on that

also, Lena is of course the rival hitter. I don't know why, but the scene in the Last Dam Job where the goon is like "Who are you?" "Well, I'm not Eliot" except with Lena saying it has been absolutely stuck in my head since I first had this passing thought of an au so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Chimney, thief

yes his name is just Chimney. No, no other information is available and even Hen can't find it when she goes looking.

Rival thief, appearing both in the Two Live Crews Job, the Inside Man Job, and the Last Dam Job is his little brother instead of his father figure, Albert.

yes this is at least 45% because of John Harlan Kim's role in the Librarians

ANYWAY

They get super duper burned on that first job as a crew and so they need someone new. At which point, Bobby announces that what they really need is Buck. "What's a buck" everyone else asks, and they go to a crap theatre in a dark corner of Chicago where our dear sweet Buckles is just absolutely blundering his entire way through Hamlet. "This is the worst thing I've ever seen," Eddie says, because of course he does.

The story comes out that when Bobby was in his insurance hunter days, he had repeated run-ins with this kid, who had clearly spent way too much of his life deeply unsupervised and turned to art theft on a lark, and Bobby had ended up a sort of surrogate father figure to him (which is why Hamlet instead of the Scottish play because y'know avenge your father rather than encourage your husband to the dark side) and eventually somewhat maybe talked him out of crime! Which leads to the first encounter of the crew as:

Buck: Bobby?!

Bobby: Hey Buck. How've you been?

Buck: Good! Good, I'm acting now instead of grifting, and it's going pretty well actually! You'd be proud of me!

Bobby: I am

Buck: So what are you up to these days?

Bobby: Crime! Want to help?

Buck: oh thank god

ANYWAY (again)

That makes the last addition to their highly effective crew:

Buck, grifter

When Buck has to lay low for a while on account of having to fake his death because of the Freddie Costas thing, he sends another grifter in his place, secretly

he is...a bit miffed when he gets back to find his sister and Chimney have fallen in love, but hey, it means Maddie ends up staying with the Leverage crew on a permanent basis so it's kinda a fifty-fifty scenario

it takes him an embarrassingly short period of time to fall in love with Eddie, which is convenient since it takes Eddie an even more embarrassingly short length of time to fall in love with him. They're just. they're gross. They're absolutely gross.

And where is Athena?

Obviously, obviously, with all her Lawful-Alignment tendencies, Athena has to be the insurance agent-then Interpol agent who keeps having far too amicable run-ins with them. Because she and Bobby used to work together of course, because of course they did. Perhaps they also are somewhat in love? Possibly? Who's to say.

(I've been flipflopping on who would be Maggie for the purpose of this au and I think it might have to be Michael? Bobby gets him into crime -- in frickin' 9-1-1 canon, let alone in an AU -- after he and Athena divorce and it's all so weird between the three of them, but you know, they do all manage to stay friendly despite *gestures vaguely* everything)

So! Yeah! If I felt I had the intelligence to actually write Leverage-style scenarios, this is how I would do it! If you've made it this far, thank you for indulging me.

also, I did sort of write a ficlet on this theme once back when we were all doing the mashup prompts

#the ghost ship scribbles #the ghost ship answers questions #leverage au I will never write my love #9-1-1 #sorry for the long post I got excited #the ghost ship fuses realities

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generallypo · 4 years

Photo

in all sincerity, kim dokja makes me happy and he deserves to be so too :^(

incoherent yelling and sobbing under the cut. these fEELINGS will not be contained aaauuunnghhh.

------

anyway i binge-read all 500+ chapters of ORV this week and i honest to god feel bad for this -- completely! fictional! aghhhh -- guy. in case you haven’t figured it out, the following is some spoilerly shit

i went in expecting a fun, brainless power trip fantasy for dudes with an isekai addiction. instead, it turns out ORV is actually a gigantic, self-deprecating prank on the entire genre itself. kdj plays more into the sad -- if high-functioning-- clown trope than the sexy, edgy, chuuni bastard type i was prepared to laugh at. there were -- gasp! -- female characters with personalities! parents (aka ADULTS who act like ADULTS) who actually survive and feature prominently! adorable children! a real sexy, edgy bastard! a power trio with amazing fashion! sexual tension and bickering! friendship! life and death bonding!

*breathes in deeply* fouND FAMILYYYYYYY.

like, yeah, the plot around the first few arcs seems a little aimless, but the buildup is worth. the world-building is pretty decent. there’s discernible effort put into the fight scenes, and i can appreciate that. but -- but! what i stayed for were the characters -- namely, the fantastic OT3 of KDJ, HSY, and YJH -- who come together despite their initial rivalries and end up saving each other’s asses, like, every other day. granted, the other characters don’t get as much focus, and they do fall into certain character tropes..

but a trope done well is nothing i would gripe about. every significant character in ORV has a coherent, and more importantly, respectful take on their respective trope. maybe it’s because sing-shong is actually a married couple, but all the interactions between even minor characters are a convincing blend of awkward rambling, suggestive humor, sharp remarks, and casual banter. in other words, this cast of mostly working adults (plus a teen and two kids) talks like working adults. the relationships built throughout the story are, frankly, some of most realistic of its genre. sing-shong has managed to craft a dynamic that undoubtedly brims with fluffy fondness all around, but also drips with sarcastic tension, with unspoken urgency, with a wariness that softens into sincerity over the course of many, many chapters. it’s the kind of progression that makes even stock characters read like more than just the 2-bit villain or comrade or love interest. here, we have relationships both straightforward and not, strained or otherwise, romantically-oriented as well as decidedly the opposite -- and then numerous others scattered along the spectrum with the freedom to shift either way.

it’s also an interesting point of note that our MC kdj actually does not end up with a stated romantic partner, much less a conventional heteroromantic harem. he gets teased about that fact from time to time, but it’s with less of the sleazy shonen locker room humor one would expect and more of the good-natured ribbing you’d find among friends or that one especially nosy auntie at the yearly family reunion. kdj is a grown ass man. in the background, i applaud his maturity, and he handles all the prodding like a champ.

so instead of finding and fulfilling his horny, he builds himself a wealth of loving family. yeah, there are beautiful men and women around him. yeah, they unequivocally adore him. but they’re also adults, and they have priorities, too -- which are not so much finding a way to bang kdj’s brains out and more so simply keeping the damn guy alive. this is truly not ‘oblivious mc with his thirsty, sex kitten harem’. it just so happens that a guy proves himself to be unflinchingly gentle and capable in an apocalyptic setting despite his broken self-esteem, and lots of people find that attractive, romantically and platonically.

it.. kinda makes sense? he’s a hard worker, thoughtful, and good with kids. kdj is the kind of guy you know would make a reliable partner, and anybody with eyes can plainly see and appreciate that.

and it’s not that our MC’s a total brick wall. in fact, it’s likely the opposite, and he’s just too darned repressed to admit it. from what has been implied, kdj does indeed recognize and accept love, or at least a primitive concept of it. i like to imagine that the kind of love that he ends up seeking out simply manifests itself more easily as acceptance and safety, as warmth and a home of people to return to every day. even better, the people who surround him know this, and they give him exactly that. it’s refreshing, and honestly, really sweet.

(as a side note, i really, really do appreciate the cosmic bi energy radiating off of kdj, who canonically earns the title of being loved by all and is all but in name married to yjh and hsy. he also respects women and small children and honestly anyone who isn’t total scum to him or his family. i respect that.)

but the happy stuff aside, you know it it just ain’t ORV without the generous screaming dollop of angst. admittedly, there’s self-sacrifice, injury, lonesome wandering, more sacrifice, some epic fighting, reunion and confrontation. all of it is a lot to digest, sure, but never does it feel entirely hopeless, or truly, truly heart-clenching. ORV, up until the final act, is a mostly light read. you relax in your chair, thinking that nothing beyond this point can disturb you.

yeah fucking right.

------

and then the beginning of the end arrives. when the squad finally break through to their ‘ending’, the scene that kind of breaks me is the reveal of the Most Ancient Dream. it ties so much thematically into the little tidbits that we get of kdj’s past, and it though it feels like almost a joke that the source of the goddamn apocalypse is a kid with bruises smeared across his skinny ass body -- it’s such a pathetic picture that it’s kinda poetic, actually. you’re left mystified but somewhat convinced, like a math problem explained halfway through. this.. child.. is a villain somehow, isn’t he?

and then 999th turn uriel speaks up, and she. just. hugs him.

[[You are this universe’s most powerless existence, aren’t you.]]

that. that gets me. kdj’s reaction immediately upon this revelation? absolute murder. seeing him essentially self-destruct upon realizing that all these people he’s surrounded himself with -- some who continuously proclaim their loyalty and affection for him throughout their journey, some who suffered eons of war and loss and trauma because of his existence -- not only forgive his younger self but smother him with unconditional acceptance and love is stifling, is too vulnerable and exposed and he simply can’t cope -- it’s so telling of his true mentality, of his crippling insecurity and crumpled sense of self-worth. kim dokja is a liar, through and through, so much that he fails, or perhaps refuses, to comprehend the veracity of others’ kindness and love towards himself.

by some miracle, the events at the end of the world somehow resolve.. or so it seems. there is a departing train, a liberated team of ex-gods, and a child rousing from his slumber. in the aftermath, i am left shaking. somehow, despite the ending having been (happily?) reached, there’s still another chapter ahead. what is this witchcraft?

------

and then ah, yes -- the epilogue arc. i teetered on the edge of being critical for a little bit there -- is that display of deus ex machina, of sad, self-sacrificing nobility a bit too egregious to be acceptable? is this some wild last let-me-yank-this-outta-my-ass plot twist to drag out the chapter count? i sincerely thought that the arc before it would have been the finale. i was wrong. thank god.

anyways, as an answer to the above: no, and no. i stake my firm claim on the belief that the epilogue arc was meticulously planned out well in advance of its release, confusing and time-warpy as it is. i liked it. tremendously. even if it entirely invalidates all of kdj’s supposed development (”haha lol yeah sure i won’t sacrifice myself or anything anymore guys don’t worry about me” -- KDJ, at some point because he’s a lying rat bastard). actually, our beloved MC disappears for a large chunk of this arc, and i think it’s great. in his absence, the other characters not only go absolutely fucking nuts, but they have to figure out this new problem on their own, even if the lure of peaceful complacency in the newly saved Korea might convince them otherwise.

and then the whole time paradox thing comes around. yjh goes to space, hsy saves the only life she can, and kdj grows up. the crew waits, holding onto their hope even if it bleeds them dry. sing-shong does a damn good job of illustrating their fraying calm, their lurking madness, the unseen but pervasive depression that seeps in from kdj’s absence. the kids lose their father, lhs and jhw lose their reliable leader figure, ysa loses a best friend and confidant, lsk -- as distant as she pretends to be from her son -- loses her only child. and then there’s hsy and yjh , who are essentially bereft of the other half of their existences. their pain is palpable, is grounded in the hopeless, gnawing frustration of an utterly meaningless victory. emotionally, ORV hits all the right -- if agonizing -- beats.

however, a story can’t sustain itself just through its pathos. i’m happy to say that ORV doesn’t drop the ball after the first milestone, and after all the hurt, the characters do leap straight back into action. even better, the plot holes actually do get patches, and the poetic cycle of writer, protagonist, and reader comes full circle by making use of all those supposedly throwaway characters from the myriad world lines.

at the end of the road, there is a distinct sense of unity, of a delicate but undeniable cohesion to the world lines and their origins. sing-shong lets us guess a little here at the finish, but there’s just enough information to feel hopeful. maybe there never had been a definite start -- or finish -- to the story of kdj company, and... that’s okay. everybody ends up where they were meant to be, where they fought and struggled to reach. it’s.. almost like a happily ever after, if we’re allowed to dream of that.

------

now, i realize, this was all an orchestrated maneuver.

i’ll take it.

to me, all of this work sounds like someone put some serious thought into this behemoth of a plot. it cements the entire original premise of the story. it suggests -- but never explicitly confirms! -- the possibility that breaking free of the cycle is possible through the exact same system that sustains it. it’s terribly interesting -- and inspirational! with all the dramatic revelations and life-threatening scenarios and the cast’s resigned acceptance of them that essentially make up ORV’s entire mood, there’s still that last hint of rebellious and righteous anger that lights up the whole damn nebula. it’s like the kdj company blasting away at the heavens just to yell into the nether: we’re not looking for the happy end, but the free one. stay alive.

it’s subtle, and yet it’s such an emotional gut punch. i came away with the most ruinous, frustrating, bittersweet sense of longing in ages. i pined. for these fictional darlings. god, i am weak.

so. yeah. ORV is pretty good. flawed, but ambitious and impressively thought out. i’m stoked that the webtoon is making pretty good progress, even if it’ll take an eternity and a half to meet that monstrous chapter count. i’m still gonna follow it. hell yeah.

------

(by the way the idea that secretive plotter and co are literally gonna take care of and raise baby kdj and spoil him and be the best friggin family a kid could ever want does things to me. protect him. he’s suffered too much. let at least one worldline’s version of him know happiness. and actually, aLL OF THEM DESERVE DOMESTIC BLISS TOGETHER IN A BIG OL MANSION WITH SUN AND FRESH AIR AND TENDER FAMILY MOMENTS UGH)

------

and there you have it, folks. you made it to the end. in the far, far distance, i’m cheering you on and crying my eyes out in gratitude. thanks for tuning in!

#omniscient reader #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #kim dokja #fanart #kdj happiness rights!#protect him!#let! him! have his big house! with everyone! he loves!#please!#long ass emotional screeching #look i can't do him justice with drawing but hell can i yell out my love for him :'^DD

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kim-ruzek · 3 years

Text

Something's gone terribly wrong

Summary: Adam's gone missing, and looking at his phone records makes intelligence discover something very interesting. An alternative way for Kim and Adam's relationship could've been found out.

Or; Kim and Adam learn the true meaning of family.

Warnings: alludes to (canon-typical) violence, alludes to sex/talks about sex, Bob Ruzek's A+ parenting, blood mentions, Adam whump.

Word Count: 17.2k words

Read on AO3

Notes: SO. This all started because I got drunk and made drunken notes on fic ideas, and then when I was sober, Cíara convinced me that I Needed to write it. Originally, this was only meant to be a silly, short little thing but it's become so much more. This is basically a love letter to Adam and Kim, and how much they're respected and loved by intelligence.

I hope y'all like it!!! I'm so, so proud of this so I really hope you get some enjoyment out of it! I've only put the first 4k words on here, the rest you'll have to read on AO3. I've linked it here and at the bottom of this post!!!

Alvin Olinsky had known Hank Voight for all of their respective careers, most of their peers knowing that they often come as a package deal. Even IAB, if the fact that when Voight got out of prison with his shiny new promotion he was put in charge of intelligence, a unit that Al had been involved in for two years previous after leaving the gang unit, is anything to go by.

And yet, like so many of their co-workers, Al’s uncanny ability to blend into the walls and make everyone forget about his presence still affects Voight. It shouldn’t, not when they’ve known each other for years, but at least it explains why Al is known as one of the best undercover operatives, if his nature can even trick one of his oldest friends.

“Once Al gets here--,” Voight’s dolling out the day’s instructions, which is no doubt just to keep on working on their long term drug investigation.

“I’m here,” Al interrupts, rolling his chair out to show. Voight looks at him and the two nod at each other, and then Voight goes to continue.

“But,” Al interrupts again. “My partner isn’t.”

Al indicates at the empty chair opposite to him, as if to show evidence. He had noticed that Adam hadn’t arrived yet. It’s unusual, the young, enthusiastic puppy-like man often making his presence known as soon as he gets through the doors. It’s both an insufferable and endearing quality, and makes it painfully obvious when Adam isn’t here.

Before Voight had came out his office, when the unit was just doing their early morning paperwork, Al had double checked the schedule, to make sure that it isn’t Adam’s day off. It isn’t, and so Al shot off a text to the man. Adam doesn’t have the best time management, although he’s never late, but he can drag his feet a bit. Especially since he got with his new girl he thinks Al doesn’t know about—like Al doesn’t notice the boy’s constant texting, his ever-present good mood and, of course, the clear markings of a lover’s meeting when he’s getting changed.

But Adam had neither replied to his message, nor came barrelling into the bullpen with some quick excuse about traffic, as if he thinks Al can’t see the slight stain of lip-gloss on his lips.

Voight frowns at the empty seat, clearly off put by it as well.

“Has he given a reason?” After Al shakes his head in reply, Voight looks to the others in the unit, specifically at Kevin. If someone is going to know, it would be him.

But Kevin didn’t know, and Adam didn’t respond to his texts either.

It’s been a few hours now, and Adam hasn’t stumbled in with any reason or excuse. They started off only a little concerned, with Jay, Erin and Antonio dismissing that there’s any worry, to the unit being in alert mode, deeply concerned. In their jobs, you don’t just go missing, with no word.

They had checked his desk for his UC phone, to see if he had an impromptu meeting or information, but it still sat in his desk draw. They had then pinged his phone, to see his location, but it was either off or destroyed.

They had done everything. They had checked everything, gone to his apartment to see if he’s home, gone to the last location his phone noted and... nothing. Al was getting increasingly worried by the second, as was the unit.

There is a tenseness in the bullpen, a palatable worry between them all. They’re all thinking the same thing, even if no one’s saying it. That they’ve been investigating some dangerous people, that Adam may be an overgrown child sometimes but he’d always call, that the longer it takes to work this out, the more chance of something bad happening.

“We’re looking at this all wrong.” Erin suddenly says. Everyone turns to face her. “We should approach this like we do a criminal. Get his phone records, try to make a timeline of his movements, talk to whoever he’s been in contact with.”

There’s an instant agreement in the room, and they immediately get on that. It feels wrong getting the records of one of their own, to even consider to look at who Adam’s been calling, texting. But it’s necessary, necessary to invade his privacy if they’re to work out where he’s gone.

Unfortunately, the calls don’t reveal much. Apart from the standard calls and messages to the unit, a couple to his dad, most of his calls and texts were to one Kayla, the girl who from context of the texts is the girl he’s seeing.

“This is useless, it tells us nothing,” Al grumbles, not even bothering to keep the frustration out of his voice. Adam is missing, potentially hurt, in danger, and they’re wasting time looking at Adam’s lovey-dovey sickening messages to this girl. It does nothing but make him even more frustrated (and maybe a little hurt that this girl and Adam seem serious, and yet Adam hasn’t mentioned her to him and maybe they’re not as tight as Al thought and if they don’t find him quick, he’ll never get to ask).

“Except that Ruzek’s got a girl he’s been keeping from us.” Jay jokes, and Al fixes him a glare. This is not the time for jokes, even if Al knows Jay is just as worried. The rest of the team seem to appreciate Jay’s attempt at easing the tenseness in the room, Al notes, as he looks around at everyone—even Voight, because the fact that the team still feels like cracking a joke to ease tension means they have hope and in situations like this, hope is good.

All except Kevin, that is. The officer is too engrossed in looking at the messages to hear. He’s frowning, some confusion or questioning look upon his face. Al wonders what’s got his focus, if there’s something about the messages that he’s noticed that every one else has missed. Kevin and Adam are good friends, Al supposes if anyone is going to notice something off, it’s him.

But Kevin doesn’t say anything, merely shaking his head and looking away from the messages and back at the team, awaiting someone to suggest their next move. They’re not waiting long, as almost right after, Antonio speaks.

“Let’s call this Kayla. If something is up with the boyfriend, the girlfriend usually knows.” Antonio suggests. It’s a good idea, and Al kicks himself, thinking that he really should’ve thought of it first. Maybe because the thought of talking to this girl hurts something inside him, because she’s someone Adam didn’t want Al to meet. But he needs to stop thinking like that, stop getting caught up in respect and care, because that’s wasting potentially precious moments of Adam’s life.

“Good idea. We’ll put it on loudspeaker, but Atwater, you talk to this girl. We don’t want to alarm her too much,” Voight commands.

The few seconds it takes to ring feels like the longest seconds of Al’s life. This could be a lead, something that tells them where in the world Adam is, confirming that he hasn’t just dropped off the face of the earth. Al’s feeling some hope, some optimism that maybe they’ll know where Adam is before lunch but then the phone goes to voicemail.

“Please leave a message, I’ll call you back when I can!”

Al feels defeated, as does everyone else by the looks of his unit’s face. It’s just the girl’s voicemail, they can try again, it’s not the end of the world. But it feels like it. Voight’s rubbing his forehead, seeming as frustrated as Al is. It’s silent in the bullpen—but only for a second because then someone, Kevin, is talking.

“There’s our lead, that’s Burgess.”

Kim can’t count how many times she’s seen Platt and immediately wanted to hide, to run, to let the floor swallow her whole. Her Sargent rides you hard, and it’s worth it, but by gods is she terrifying. And if you’ve crossed her, hell would be a safer place. But as Roman and her enter the 21st and Kim sees the formidable desk Sargent, all she feels is relief—because finally, finally, she can get some reprieve from Roman bitching about intelligence.

It has been non-stop since they got the call over the radio to come back to the district, that they’re needed by intelligence. Roman has very clearly made his feelings known about being at the call to the unit, many, many times. Kim’s not sure what’s his problem, if it’s because he has an inferiority complex or superiority complex, or that he has no aim to get into an elite unit such as that but can’t help but resent those who do. But what she is sure of is that if she has to hear his repetitive grumbling thoughts about it again, she might just shoot him. It’s beginning to get to the point that Kim dreads Intelligence deciding to use them, no matter how fun, because it means she’ll have to endure the rant.

Although having to suffer through it might just be worth it if it means her name is being mentioned up there, and to get to see Adam before their evening plans. To get to exchange a subtle look at him, telling him silently just how much she misses him, wants to be with him. To get to have him give her a look, a look of comfort that her being there means she’s had to endure the rant.

Of course, that’s not a reason she’s in any hurry to tell Voight as a reason she likes when he uses them. After all, the reason she’s not up there is because of his archaic rule about in-house dating.

“We’re needed?” Kim gets to Platt’s desk in record time. She thinks she sees a slight smile appear on the desk Sargent’s face at Kim practically rushing to the desk, leaving Roman behind so he had to catch up quickly, but it’s gone before it’s there, and Kim dismisses it, thinking she must be imagining it.

“Yeah. Well you are, but you can take up your partner. You might need it, moral support or whatever.” Platt tells her. Kim opens her mouth, about to protest against the assumption that she’s weak and needs support—especially from an ass like Roman—but Platt silences her before she can, her expression softening ever so slightly as she does so.

“Zip it, Burgess, it’s not a comment on you as a cop. They need you because...Ruzek didn’t sign into work today and they think you might be able to shine some light on the situation.” Platt says, but Kim barely hears the words. How did Adam not sign in, when this morning they were very much headed into work together? He was talking about his paperwork, for god’s sake!

“What more can she tell them that one of them doesn’t know?” Roman chimes in then, complaining. Kim near punches him, having even less patience for him now her mind is reeling with concern for Adam. Platt fixes him a look before looking back at Kim. She leans forward slightly, looking at Kim with concern.

“I believe they looked at his texts. And came to the conclusion that you will know.” Platt softly tells her, before fixing her a very pointed look. It takes Kim a second to realise what she’s on about, but once she does, realising that oh god Voight knows they’re dating, Kim turns a shade of red. Then frowns, because Platt doesn’t seem at all phased. And then she’s blushing even darker because oh god has Platt known all this time?

“Now, go.” Kim has barely any time to process this before Platt is shooing them away, reminding them that upstairs needs them.

Kim walks up the stairs in a daze, barely hearing Roman’s complaining and questions, and the door buzzing as Platt buzzes them in. So much has been put on her, she’s unsure what she should be more shocked at. That Adam’s missing, possibly in danger, or that apparently they haven’t been as careful as she thought, or that Voight knows, everyone knows. And that they know that they’ve been texting under false names.

There’s always a feeling of awkwardness Kim gets when she walks up the stairs and arrives at the bullpen. The unit is elite, and so close and tight, their cases usually having a need to know status, and coming up to that, interrupting that, it can feel very much like you’ve stumbled into a forbidden place, somewhere you don’t belong. And it’s only amplified by Kim really, really wanting to belong.

But nothing has ever felt as awkward as this.

Everyone turns to look at her as soon as she gets up the stairs. The slight mumblings between them falling silent and it feels like one of those dreams where you’re naked, feeling as if everyone can see right through her. Because they all know now, they all know that Adam are her are seeing each other, that they’re being secretive about it, and they’ve read their messages and Kim doesn’t know how much but she knows one of their last messages was their thinly veiled sexting and oh god, what if they’ve read her messages about what she wanted to do to Adam last night—the thing she did do.

Voight’s expression is unreadable, as usual, but Kim doesn’t need to be able to read it to know what he’s thinking. Probably right now there’s just concern for his MIA officer, but after they locate Adam, it’s going to be thoughts about how now Kim will never make it into intelligence. That he might be feeling disappointed in her, because instead of proving she’s serious, she’s just gone and dated Adam on the down low. Never mind that his rule shouldn’t exist or have any impact on his decisions about his officers, but it’s his right to make whatever rule and now Kim’s proven she’s not intelligence material according to those rules.

Halstead is giving her an almost pitying look, with some interest, like he’s wondering how and why it started. Lindsay’s also giving her a sympathetic look, likewise Antonio and not for the first time, Kim feels glad for their presences, it making her feel more at ease.

Kim doesn’t even want to dissect the look that Olinsky’s giving her. And Kevin, oh Kevin. Kim knows exactly what Kevin is thinking just with one glance at his expression. They were partners and they’re best friends; Kim can read him like an open book.

There’s the same worry for Adam as the rest, and he’s also looking at her differently with this new piece of information. But not like the others, because Kevin isn’t just another member of intelligence, he’s he best friend, Adam’s best friend, and they kept this from him. There’s curiosity, questions, a look that tells Kim with no uncertainty that after this is done, after Adam is found, they’re going to have a talk.

“Platt briefed you?” Voight asks. He’s a man of little words, but Kim can’t help but feel like he’s choosing as little words as possible because he, too, is feeling awkward. After all, how do you tell your teammate’s girlfriend her boyfriend is missing, when she’s your colleague and you didn’t know they were together.

Kim manages to nod in answer, wishing so desperately that Adam was here, so she could catch his eye, so she could have him give her a slight, reassuring nod that would immediately put her ease and fill her with confidence. If course, if Adam was here, then this wouldn’t be happening.

“Did Ruzek say anything to you? Tell you where he’d be going?” Voight then asks, and Kim has to take a deep breathe to calm herself before answering. Because the answer isn’t an optimistic one, because the answer makes her worried, because Adam should be here.

“All he was talking about was work. He was going here, we were headed to work together.” Kim tells him, trying to not let her mind spiral with what could’ve happened. From beside her, Roman looks at her, as if piecing together exactly why Kim might know more.

“So you saw him this morning?” Al interjects and Kim blushes as she realises the implications of her words. There’s nothing wrong about it, but Kim isn’t prepared to have to talk about the domesticities of Adam and her lives yet. Kim has barely nodded before Al is speaking again.

“You said you were headed in to work together? So he was here, at the district.” At Al’s question, Kim cringes slightly, that she has to explain their routine.

“I don’t know. We take our own cars most of the time. But... Uh, sometimes we park before getting here to, uh, just say goodbye one more time, and he usually gets here first, but he wasn’t there today. So I just assumed that you got a case so he couldn’t hang around.” If the floor could just open up, that would be great, Kim thinks as she speaks. Never did she think that she’d be having to tell them about Adam and her’s sneaky secret kisses.

Kim thinks Al is about to ask her something else, but Voight steps forward, interrupting him before he can.

“Come on, let’s take this to the interrogation room, for privacy. This is a conversation to be done sat down.” Voight tells her, indicating for her to go down the hall. It’s a nice gesture, and Kim appreciates it, but there’s a part of her that feels like because he’s treating her with care that definitely means this is the final nail in the coffin, that this means she’ll never make intelligence.

Although if that’s the price to pay for Adam to be okay, Kim thinks that’d make it easier to swallow. Adam is the man she loves, a word they told each other a couple months ago, and she couldn’t bare it if he’s not okay.

“If you can, take us through the morning. It’ll be helpful, to establish Ruzek’s mind-set.” Voight asks once they’re sat in the interrogation room. Kim would rather do literally anything else, but she understands that she needs to.

“It was pretty normal. We woke up, got ready for work, had breakfast. We talked about our plans over breakfast—that’s when he was talking about doing his paperwork—and then we were leaving. Nothing was off or wrong, it was just normal.” She wishes something was wrong, so that she could be more help. So they could find him.

“There must be something. Look deeper, go through the morning stage by stage. Break it down. What was his mood like? Was he distracted?” Al asks—or demanded might be a better description. Kim can see the worry, plain and unconcealed on his face. Adam is like a son to him, and she knows how much Adam looks up to him like a father as well, and Kim thinks that he might just be the only other person who gets the spine-chilling fear of Adam being AWOL. The others are worried, of course, but the thought of even a hair of Adam’s being messed in some way is a stomach churning thought.

“His mood was fine. Normal. He wasn’t distracted or anything. If he was, I would’ve asked but he was fine. We were making evening plans and everything!” Kim feels almost as if the room is closing in on her, feeling useless. What kind of girlfriend is she?

“I’m sorry I’m no help,” Kim apologizes, feeling bad. And feeling worse when Voight gives her one of his rare sympathetic and soft looks.

“There’s got to be something. Break down the morning into the times. What time did you get up, leave. Burgess, think.” Al persists. Kim would feel annoyed that he’s doubting her, but she can hear how worried he is, see it. Al has taken off his beanie, looking so drawn and concerned.

“Our alarm went off at six. At around seven, maybe quarter to, we were getting ready. Breakfast was at like, half past. And we were leaving before eight. He was fine throughout the morning, happy. His normal self?” Kim explains. To say Adam was happy would be an understatement, he was full of energy, barely unable to keep his hands off her all morning. Not that she’s going to say that to them.

“How could it go from that to him not turning up to work?” Al vents, and Voight rests a hand on his shoulder. Al turns back to look at her.

“It took you nearly an hour to get out of bed. Why?” He asks, and Kim blushes instinctively, as she remembers the passionate love-making Adam and her had this morning. Subconsciously, her hand goes to rest on her collarbone where, under the fabric of her uniform, is the deep mark Adam left on her.

“We were, uh, having a lazy morning.” Kim answers, wishing ever so much that Adam would just turn up so that this conversation could end. She doesn’t blame Al for not realising why two young lovers might take so long to get out of bed, he’s stressed, but she wishes she didn’t have to expand on it. She watches his face, waiting for the awkward realisation of why occurring to him, but it doesn’t come.

“Lazy? That boy has never been immobile a day in his life. Was he okay? You said he was fine, but why was he being lazy. Was he tired, distracted, upset? Could he have been lethargic, maybe he was drugged?” Al demands and Kim thinks that she must be the colour of a tomato because oh god she’s going to have to spell this out.

“He wasn’t drugged, I’m sure of that.” She says, emphasising her words, hoping to get through Al’s stress. Please, please don’t let her have to tell Adam’s surrogate father that they were having sex.

“How do you know? Burgess, if there’s any chance—” Apparently, this is happening.

“Al, I know because we were having sex, and trust me, he could not do what he did if he was drugged.” Kim’s voice is firm, as she spells it out explicitly, and she’s amazed that it is, that she sounds so strong and sure instead of like a nervous teenager being caught in the act, like she was so certain age would be.

“Oh.” She watches him process her words, everything she was getting at finally dawning onto him. If she’s not mistaken, Al looks as if he’s turning slightly red himself, and he shifts awkwardly. Kim can’t help but feel slight satisfaction in making him feel as awkward as she does—even if, preferably, none of them would’ve had to endure this.

“I think.. I’m going.” Al uncharacteristically stumbles over his words, not wasting any time getting out of the room. Kim wonders if he’ll be ever able to look at her ever again.

“Thank you, I know that wasn’t easy. But now we know something must’ve happened on Ruzek’s way to work.” Voight stands up himself, signalling that this conversation is over. Kim feels relief, briefly, as it’s then quickly overtaken by her worry for Adam.

And before she knows it, she’s blurting out words. “I want to help you. Find him. Please, he’s... I need to help.”

She has no right asking this. But she couldn’t stop herself, knowing that she can’t just go back to patrol and act as if everything is okay. Because it’s not okay, because Adam’s not okay, which means her world isn’t okay. Voight looks thoughtfully at her.

“Okay.” He says simply, and Kim blinks, shocked.

“Really?” She can barely believe it.

“I was going to offer. You should be involved—and I think you might add a needed and different perspective. You know how he thinks.” Voight says, before he exits the room, leaving her kind reeling. What does that mean exactly, and does this mean...does this mean she’s still got a chance?

Kim leaves the room shortly after Voight. The rest of the unit was walking out the observation room and Kim realises that they all followed them, and listened on to the conversation. It makes sense, because what if Kim had said something of use, but she cringes at the thought of them all hearing what she said.

She catches Roman’s eye first, seeing how his expression is stony, that he clearly has some strong opinions on this, like he does with everything. He looks almost disappointed in her, like he respects her less, and it infuriates her because how dare he judge her, when he didn’t want a woman partner? But she’s too worried to focus on her petty anger, so she looks away from him, not having the energy or mental capacity to give him any time of day right now.

As Kim shifts her eyes away from Roman, she locks onto Kevin. There’s a feeling of comfort for a second. Kevin is one of the only people in the world that she trusts with her whole heart, and he makes her feel safe and she feels so unsure right now. But then her mind catches up, and age realises that he’s exiting the observation room which means he was listening in which means that oh god he heard her talk about having sex with Adam.

And from the look of the way he seems very uncomfortable, he most definitely did hear that. Their eye contact only lasts for a second until they’re both very quickly looking away, unable to look at each other straight. Kevin is like her brother, and she his sister, and no one wants to hear about their siblings’ sex life—especially with their best friend.

continue on ao3

#burzek #kim burgess #adam ruzek #chicago pd #kim burgess x adam ruzek #chicago pd fanfiction #Burzek fanfic #ree writes #ree's.writing

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katnissmellarkkk · 3 years

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Alrightttt, I’m on a roll so we’re going onto chappy five 🥳🥳🥳😎😎

I know the movies made the Capitol — re: basically only Effie and maybe Caesar — have those ridiculous made up accents but .... I actually feel like the description of the Capitol accent in the book is supposed to be like the Kardashians or Paris Hilton’s voice. 🤷🏼‍♀️

“Why do these people speak in such a high pitch? Why do their jaws barely open when they talk? Why do the ends of their sentences go up as if they're asking a question? Odd vowels, clipped words, and always a hiss on the letter s. no wonder it's impossible not to mimic them.” Like this is a pretty good description of how Kim Kardashian and her sisters talk. And Suzzy C did say she was inspired by the juxtaposition between war news footage and ridiculous reality television shows so... I think my theory of the Capitol all talking like they’re on the Real Housewives of LA is pretty valid.

Just imagine Paris Hilton as Effie and Nicole Richie as one of her preps

Lolololol this whole section of waxing is reminding me to go get my legs waxed 😭😭😭 straight up calling me out here, Suzanne

I like how Katniss says her stylist “apparently has no interest in seeing her until the prep team has addressed obvious problems.” Like you can tell from her narration she was expecting to feel the same was about Cinna that she does about Effie and her prep team.

The “gritty loam that takes off dirt and three layers of skin” is probably just a strong exfoliator 😭😭😭 my girl knows nothing about quality skincare 🤧🤧 someone build a Panem Sephora

She mentioned them waxing her underarms.... girl, did you have hairy armpits before this? Idk why this revelation is new to me

“Grease her down!” Just sounds wrong 😅😅😅😅 I need to stop being annoying omg I’m like a twelve year old

Hmm it’s funny to me that Katniss refers to Octavia as plump. You’d think in a place like the Capitol body image and weight would be very important. Unless it’s like back in the old, old days when being overweight was a sign of wealth. Which would make more sense so this was an unnecessary thought process curtesy of Samantha

Katniss faking a smile and thanking her prep team shows she does know how to play the game and fake it better than she says.

So ... okay, hear me out, I’m not trying to get over the top or make this into something it’s not but ... the whole stylists / Cinna coming into the room and staring at her naked is a little weird. Especially considering Cinna isn’t Lenny Kravitz who’s like a bit older than her but actually like a twenty-something year old dude.

But okay, here’s the thing I was getting at ... Cinna’s one of the best people in this series and you can’t deny that. Even if you find him boring, he’s still one of Katniss’ closest people. Also he’s probably gay. But like ... what about the other stylists? I don’t wanna be that person who makes everything more than it is, but like, this scene just sounds like a perfect opportunity for some Capitol creep to assault a teenager idk I’m probably making a mountain out of a molehill just ignore Samantha okay.

That’s nice that he complimented her mama though 🥰🥰🥰

So Katniss calls District Twelve the least desirable district but ... doesn’t District Eleven suck too? Like she also later says District Twelve is the smallest and the poorest but doesn’t she also say Rue is worse off than her and Prim? Make up your mind, Suz.

Cinna claims he asked for District Twelve but did he really get an option? 😅 If it’s his first year and Katniss claims the newbies get them anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️ Samantha is once again, reading too much into this.

Awww, Katniss is thinking about how long it would take for her to assemble this fancy meal at home 🤧🤧🤧 it would take her days and the Capitol just has the necessary resources at their disposal and they just takes it for granted. And yes, I’m aware this is supposed to be calling all us readers out who take so much for granted I know. We’re the Capitol.

“How would I spend the hours I now commit to combing the woods for sustenance if it were so easy to come by?” It’s honestly so sad but so vital to her character that Katniss has zero hobbies or real free time. Her life is about surviving. She doesn’t get to live or enjoy very much of her time. She dedicates everything to keeping Prim — and her mother — alive, sacrificing everything a teenage girl should be doing. Sacrificing even the things the other girls in her world get to do. She mentions the merchant girls and the Seam girls who are more experienced romantically and sexually and socially than her. Because she doesn’t get to be a kid or innocent or even happy, in order to focus on her and her family’s survival. And the things she does enjoy, like spending time with Gale or dancing with Prim (mentioned in Mockingjay) she downplays in case they’re taken away, because nothing good is secure in her eyes. 🥺🥺🥺

Okay but what did Katniss’ facial expression give away that Cinna knew exactly what she was thinking? Or is she just less emotionless than she and Haymitch both claim? Ironically I think they’re the only people who call her emotionless which can easily be chalked up to their self-hate and terrible self-esteems.

Katniss is so afraid they’re gonna make her be naked for the parade 😭. Honestly though they’re children that’s so creepy that they’re even allowed to make 15/16/17 year olds be naked in a parade. I mean I know they kill kids every year but isn’t there like child pornography laws in Panem? 😭

“You’re not afraid of fire, are you, Katniss?” Is so foreshadowing 😭😂😅😎 Caesar Flickerman’s voice “Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire!”

Honestly though Cinna is smart to make Katniss recognizable in the arena by leaving her with simple makeup. I know and the sky is blue we all know this already beating the dead horses until the farmer comes home.

“It crosses my mind that Cinna's calm and normal demeanor masks a complete madman.” It’s true though 😅😅😅😭😭 he was always a rebel. I actually think he may have asked for District Twelve after Katniss volunteered, because he saw the potential in her. Poor Peeta. Baby, I’m rooting you for even if no one else is.

Also I always found it a bit .... curious? That Peeta had a female stylist and Katniss had a male one? Not just because of the required nudity, you’d just think men would do better as a boy’s stylist and a woman would make a better girl’s stylist. So yes, my whole Cinna was interested in District Twelve because Katniss seemed like a good symbol for a rebellion idea seems very plausible.

I know I know I know I read wayyy too much into this stuff sometimes a cigarette 🚬 is just a cigarette 🚬

Katniss being relieved when Peeta shows up 😭😭😭 because even if she won’t admit it and even if she won’t let herself trust him, she still sees him unconsciously and completely against her will as a comfort because they’re in this thing together in a way, even if they’re supposed to try and kill each other

And honestly, it’s such a like... relatable feeling? To feel alone and nervous and uptight and then someone who you recognize — even if you maybe aren’t even friends with but you at least know — shows up and you just instantly feel less alone. I’m totally looking at this through shipper goggles and I’m not even ashamed you all knew who’s blogging you were reading ight? 😂🤣🤷🏼‍♀️

“He should know about fire, being a baker's son and all.” And he’s gonna learn a lot more about it when he falls in love — for real, falls in love, not a childhood infatuation — with the girl on fire. 🥰🥰🥰

But also, I love this particular line on a reread because it totally is an indicator towards their future. Like Peeta knows about fire, he’s experienced with how to handle it, and later on, he becomes the only person who truly comes to understand Katniss, who represents fire, in a way that no one else could ever imagine.

Hmmm, Katniss’ point of view here, talking about how Portia and Peeta’s team seem all giddy and air-headed and it’s only Cinna who seems reserved makes me rethink my previous imaginings of Peeta’s stylist. Maybe she’s just a Capitolite idiot and nothing like Cinna. And my baby got a raw deal here then too. Good thing Haymitch loves him more. Just kidding 😅😅😅

But also I wanna know why Cinna is hesitant to accept congratulations for his and Portia’s idea? Wasn’t he at least lowkey excited about it when he pitched it a page ago?

Their horses are coal black 🐴 😅. I like that they went the whole nine yards with the theme. Nothing but the best for the kids on Death Row.

Aww Katniss asking Peeta what he thinks about being set on fire is so sweet and pure for some reason. I just find their commodore here cute ok

“I'll rip off your cape if you'll rip off mine” this is literally their first friend type of interaction and it’s so pure y’all leave me be I’m emotional for them

🙃 Also lowkey reminds me of “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Everyone look away ok I’m sorry

Peeta’s shady/annoyed Haymitch comment and Katniss’ joke at his expense 🤣🤣😂🤣😂😂🥲🥲☺️🥲🥲 they’re bonding it’s so presh

“And suddenly we're both laughing.” I hope they laugh a lot together post-canon 🥲🥲🥲. If they can make the other laugh during their terrible circumstances, then they can make the other laugh anywhere. 🤧 Except in Thirteen because he’s hijacked and she’s certifiable and they’re both so used and abused and 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Okay I have to say, Suzanne Collins really builds up a lot for certain events and then just like grazes over the actual action of said event? Like she builds towards the tribute parade but then kind of rushes through off the actual event itself? It’s a common theme in her writing. And I don’t like it at all ngl.

Oh wait she doesn’t actually rush the parade events the paragraph before just looked like she was about to I jumped the gun 🤣😂🤭 but what I said is still completely true for many events in these books sorry not sorry

I’m definitely reading too much into it but the fact that District One — the favorite of the Capitol — gets snow white horses and District Twelve gets coal black horsies kind of ... seems to imply something .... 🤭

Cinna just lets out a sigh of relief “it worked” like ... way to fill your tributes with hope, dude. “Yeah, you’re totally safe, don’t be scared-OH THANK GOD THAT WORKED I wasn’t actually sure you wouldn’t blow up.” But actually this answers my previous inquiry about why he seemed hesitant I guess he wasn’t even sure this wouldn’t burn them up that’s nice 🤭🙃

It’s a literal trial by fire *cue drum hit* 🥁 aww, I just cracked myself up 😭

“Then he gently tucks a hand under my chin. "Remember, heads high. Smiles. They're going to love you!" This is caught halfway between being very Capitol-y and very father-brotherly and idk which way to take it but it’s kind of cute 🤭

“For the first time, I look at him and realize that ablaze with the fake flames, he is dazzling.” This is such a significant line because Katniss isn’t saying Peeta is technically good looking (like when Haymitch said they were decently attractive) or someone else thinks he’s good looking (i.e Gale, her mother and lowkey Finnick) but she’s saying she herself thinks he’s attractive. Girl, your crush is showing.

"I think he said for us to hold hands," says Peeta.” I’m sure Cinna actually did say that but this just seems like a very good opportunity for Peeta to hold the hand of the girl he has a massive crush on. 😭😭😭

Okay Cinna gave a thumbs up so he actually was saying that but can you imagine Peeta’s excitement right now?

I mean, yeahhhh, there’s the certain death looming over him too but like live in the moment, babe. 🥰😘🤗👌🏻

I like that Katniss says the crowd is at first like 😳😳😳 before they start cheering like they’re thinking “what are these backwoods, hillbilly kids doing this year?”

“At first, I'm frozen, but then I catch sight of us on a large television screen and am floored by how breathtaking we look. In the deepening twilight, the firelight illuminates our faces” okay they both have to be pretty naturally attractive people objectively, because you illuminate my face without much makeup and no one is gonna be cheering.

“Remember, heads high. Smiles. They're going to love you! I hear Cinna's voice in my head. I lift my chin a bit higher, put on my most winning smile, and wave with my free hand.” I wonder what the true difference is for Katniss between Cinna and Effie saying this to her? Maybe it’s that Effie is just outright mean to her sometimes whereas Cinna shows her nothing but kindness from the start and expresses sympathy and understanding? It’s probably that he’s already earning her trust versus Effie who’s just cruel I’m not over her comments on the train ok

“I'm glad now I have Peeta to clutch for balance, he is so steady, solid as a rock.” Right from the start, Katniss refers to Peeta as solid and steady. Idk, I feel like this is something that the movies really misses along the way. Katniss wasn’t always strong or confident at all and Peeta, at least publicly, exuded those qualities pretty well. Samantha’s complaining again ™️ 💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Also this is just outright foreshadowing how Peeta will eventually become her rock. Or that he will be soon painted a rock ... pick and choose which way you wanna go with this. 🤷🏼‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️😅🤣

“As I gain confidence, I actually blow a few kisses to the crowd.” Okay, see I feel like Peeta really gives Katniss confidence in herself. If he’d been there in District Thirteen and they’d done propos together, she probably would have been a thousand times better.

But also this makes me think Katniss actually has it in her to be a charismatic, confident, alluring celebrity. She just chooses not to. 🤗🤗🤗

But this also reminds me of “She has no idea the effect she can have” okay imma move on and stop focusing on every little detail

I say that every chapter 🤧😅

“The pounding music, the cheers, the admiration work their way into my blood, and I can't suppress my excitement.” Say whatever you want, Katniss is still such a girl underneath it all. She gets excited over people liking her and cheering her on. And I know it’s because it increases her chances of getting sponsors but still

Honestly Peeta trying to showcase Katniss and let her take the spotlight is so selfless and indicative of his ultimate plan to help her win but also ... I can see how Katniss would believe it’s too good to be true and he’s messing with her. That he’s just playing the game to earn her trust, get her guard down and manipulate her later.

See, Peeta is actually framed at the start like the typical, standard YA love interest turned villain. In majority of YA books, at this point the boy is kind and sweet and helpful to the girl until she trusts him completely and then he turns on her and uses everything she gave him to destroy her. But the difference is, Katniss refuses to truly trust him and she is guessing his game incorrectly at every step. And then it’s revealed that it was never a game and he truly isn’t messing with her and everything he’s done that’s seem too good to be true and not even remotely plausible has actually been genuine and heartfelt and that, my friends, is why Peeta is above all other YA love interests. Because Everlark is actually the foil to many of the cliches. That was a long speech over some incoherent thoughts I’m so sorry if you suffered through that.

“It's not until we enter the City Circle that I realize I must have completely stopped the circulation in Peeta's hand. That's how tightly I've been holding it.” Awww he is her rock 😭🤧🥺

"No, don't let go of me," he says. The firelight flickers off his blue eyes. "Please. I might fall out of this thing." Okay this part is so cute and so blatantly setting Peeta up as her main love interest omg 😅 this isn’t the least bit subtle or disguised. But first off, the fact that Katniss is also Peeta’s stability here too 😭😭😭 and second of all, she takes time to notice his blue eyes against the firelight? She was attracted to him from the very start, y’all. That’s indisputable. 👌🏻😎🤧

“It's not really fair to present us as a team and then lock us into the arena to kill each other.” I agree with you, baby, it’s not fair at all. But you two take care of that situation nicely. Or not. Y’all do start a dang war. 🤭🤭🙃🙃

It’s rather ... ironic that it’s District Twelve’s chariot of them all that is pulled up and stopped directly in front of President Snow’s mansion. I know it’s a book, certain details like this are definitively contrived, I know get over it. 🤦🏼‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️

So uh. Snow is a small thin man? Why do I suddenly imagine Danny Devito as Snow 😅😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣🤣 y’all know he’d kill the role

“The darker it becomes, the more difficult it is to take your eyes off our flickering.” Okay, this is such a great line and it’s so significant to the rest of the series? The fact that Katniss — and Peeta, let’s not forget our boy — became symbols of the revolution. Like this line is deep if you think about it. The worse things in Panem got, the more the civilians looked towards Katniss and Peeta for hope 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰

Omg now after Songbirds and Snakes, we know the national anthem. I’m sorry, babies, that you have to endure that I’ll get you out of there 🙉🙉🙉

I feel like in part, the Capitol camera crew — Cressida, Pollux .... Pollux’s brother... is that you here???? — put so much attention on District Twelve because it would create some resentment and competition between them and the careers 🤭🤗

“I notice a lot of the other tributes are shooting us dirty looks, which confirms what I've suspected, we've literally outshone them all.” Insert Gretchen Wieners “I can’t help that I’m popular!” 😅😅😅😅😅

“I realize I'm still glued to Peeta and force my stiff fingers to open. We both massage our hands.” — they were hanging on so tight 😭😭😭😭

“Thanks for keeping hold of me.” He’s so sweet ☺️☺️☺️ I love him even if he’s kind of an idiot sometimes but so is Katniss so let’s not point fingers

“I'm sure they didn't notice anything but you. [...] And then he gives me a smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness” Omg I know Katniss views this as him trying to manipulate her but the fact that he’s actually just admitting the way he’s felt for years is so 😭😭😭😭 if only you’d spit it out sooner, Bready

“he gives me a smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me.” She literally has a crush on her fellow tribute and her first line of defense is to decide he out to get her for making her feel this way 🤣😭🙃

“The more likable he is, the more deadly he is.” The more my crush grows, the more deadly he becomes. I know I’m reading this with shipper goggles but guess what? I’m unashamed. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ who feels guilty for reading this book with an Everlark bias not this girl right here 🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️

“I stand on tiptoe and kiss his cheek. Right on his bruise.” Okay first off, she says cheek here but according to a chapter ago, she claimed the mark was on his jaw... so in other words, she’s incredibly short. If a medium height guy has a bruise on his jaw and she has to stand on her tip toe to reach it... well... hashtag LittleKatniss

And second off.... can you even imagine how Peeta must feel. He genuinely complimented her here, the girl he has had a crush on forever, and she responds by kissing his cheek. He was probably really happy at this moment. And also this probably played further into his buying into her false display in the arena. That here we have her clutching his hand, smiling and laughing with him and kissing his cheek. Idk what I was trying to say necessarily but I made myself sad wow way to go me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🤧🤧🤧

Anyways! Those are my very over the top and too detailed thoughts! Hope you enjoyed if you read this! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳😎😎😎😎😎😎😎🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

#thgagain #once again the Jen gifs are still headlining these posts 🥳🥳🥳#this isn’t as funny as my others so I’m sorry y’all #but I like nice commentary on these posts makes me feel less alone so feel free

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katcadecascade · 3 years

Text

Reader Study (Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint Oneshot)

*spoilers up to chapter 79

Summary:

“Your face is getting red, Kim Dokja.”

“No it’s not.”

She didn’t need to use lie detection.

Han Sooyoung clapped her hands, peering down at him with a wide grin. “What kind of fanfics did you read?”

Kim Dokja is both impressed and exhausted by the fact that he’s surviving in the apocalypse.

Most of that credit is due to him being the sole reader to know about the webnovel that just happens to become is new reality. There’s still a lot of confusion on how that came to be. Kim Dokja has encountered character from the novel, the deadly scenarios, and even people who were never a part of this once fictional world.

“Are you finally taking a break from your airbending training?”

There were other readers. They didn’t stay with the novel like he did so his title as sole reader remains.

Techniqually…

“Stop ignoring me.” Despite that, Kim Dokja tried his best to ignore his current companion. She continues, “I know what you’re thinking. ‘Why can’t I learn the Way of the Winds skill?’ Its because you’re not the protagonist Kim Dokja.”

Han Sooyoung. The first Apostol, she read the most of the original Three Ways to Survive the Apocalypse aside from his truly. Except she does know a lot more about the novel than others.

Because she plagiarized it.

Or not as she claims every time he calls her out.

Either way she knows about the world. That means she’s dangerous if left alone. Hell, she’ll gather up another cult like what she did with the Apostles and Prophets.

So since Kim Dokja has been separated from his companions, living in the consequences of a kingless world, he struck a temporary contract with Han Sooyoung until the next main scenario.

He’s really regretting his decision.

“Maybe I’ll ask Lycaon to teach me to be an airbender since it’s so important to you. I probably have the SSS grade talent you lack.”

“No.”

Someone needs to learn the Way of the Wind skill to go against the Disaster of Questions. Kim Dokja doesn’t trust Han Sooyoung with that power and the original protagonist is nowhere nearby to get this skill in time.

Logically, he thought he should get the skill but apparently, Lycaon has deemed him void. Despite that, Kim Dokja tried to train with the wolf monster. So after a good few hours of nothing, he finally took a break and is lying flat on his back in the remains of the business district.

“You’re a real rat bastard, Kim Dokja.”

“And you’re a real rat plagiarist.”

“I didn’t plagiarize!” She’s sitting away from him but close enough to kick his foot. “Everything I wrote I saw in a dream and from that point on my novel became popular due to my own writing skills. It became so popular I even got fanfics!”

“I can’t believe you’re bragging about that. They’re probably not even good.”

[Han Sooyoung has activated the skill ‘Lie Detection.’]

[‘Lie Detection’ has verified his words as false.]

“Oh?”

Why did he open his mouth? It’s been a long day of (futile) training under Lyacon. The world is in more ruin because of his choice at the Absolute Throne scenario. He’s away from his friends. The Disaster scenarios are arrive in a few days. Kim Dokja is with the one other person who has read his favorite novel in depth.

Ways of Survival didn’t get popular, it lost a lot of readers. In other words, it never got any fanfics.

But Han Sooyoung’s SSSSS-Grade Infinite Regressor did get a plethora of fanart and fanfics.

So maybe one night curiosity got the better of Kim Dokja and searched for some fanfics of a protagonist very similar to Yoo Jonghyuk.

“Your face is getting red, Kim Dokja.”

“No it’s not.”

She didn’t need to use lie detection.

Han Sooyoung clapped her hands, peering down at him with a wide grin.

“What kind of fanfics did you read?”

Kim Dokja has been lying back, slowing regaining his breath from training. He only has enough stamina to simply roll over and face the opposite direction.

Han Sooyoung merely scooted over to his other side, still grinning.

He turns again.

“You read the steamy fics,” she accused.

“I did not.”

[Han Sooyoung has activated the skill ‘Lie Detection.’]

[‘Lie Detection’ has verified his words as truth.]

“Boo.”

“Did you read your novel’s fanfics?”

“Of course not! That goes against an author’s ethics of copyright.”

He just stares at her.

She glares, “I’m not a plagiarist.”

Kim Dokja would love to have the lie detection skill right now.

Han Sooyoung rolls her eyes and offers up, “Occasionally I’ll check the number of fics and see what the most popular tags is. That’s about it.”

A dangerous expression washes over her face as she remembers what exactly the most popular type of fic is. He can see her calculating the probability of Kim Dokja ever reading those type of fics.

Han Sooyoung stares at him with an open mouth smile.

“You, Kim Dokja, may be one of the strongest incarnations, a pain in the ass to me, the dokkaebi, and the constellations, but in reality,” she snorts at that word, “you are weak.”

She didn’t even need to ask. And yet Kim Dokja already feels defeated.

At least he did not admit it aloud.

No way will Kim Dokja verbally admit that he read self-insert fics as the protagonist’s lover.

It gets a little more worse when he remembers he read female self-inserts before finally scavenging the he or they pronoun fics.

But look at him now.

He’s in his favorite novel and met its protagonist.

Kim Dokja wouldn’t call their first introduction a ‘meet cute.’

No way does any of their encounters qualify as romantic. They fought and disagreed and their last encounter ended with Kim Dokja punching Yoo Jonghyuk into unconsciousness. If anything, Kim Dokja’s aim to be Yoo Jonghyuk’s companion is a fantasy.

Han Yoosong apparently thinks otherwise.

She mockingly pats his shoulder with comfort, “You must be living your fics. Charming your way into Yoo Jonghyuk’s cold barriers.”

“He wants to kill me.”

“Yeah but has he yet?”

Despite the fact that Kim Dokja could come up with many reasons, he says nothing.

Yoo Jonghyuk could’ve killed him at the bridge, at the stations, and, well maybe not at the Throne because of Kim Dokja’s strategy. Every time Kim Dokja said something or did something to convince Yoo Jonghyuk that they are equals and needed each other for upcoming scenarios.

They have yet to ever be on the same page without annoying the other.

And yet Kim Dokja expected this.

It’s the one thing many self-insert fics lack.

As much as Kim Dokja secretly enjoyed the gooey romance orientated stories, none ever measured up with the real stubbornness of Yoo Jonghyuk.

He’s a protagonist who has suffered and thrived and flourished and dealt with impossible odds and despaired and will eventually reach the ending of this story.

Kim Dokja stayed with him for three thousand chapters. Now he wants to stay with Yoo Jonghyuk to… to…

Ah… he got too caught up with the self-inserts fics. A lot of those ended with marriage or something equally domestic.

That’s not an ending deserving of Kim Dokja.

All he wants is for Yoo Jonghyuk and the tohers to make it to the end of this story.

“Hey, you lost in thought about kissing Yoo Jonghyuk?”

“No!”

[Han Sooyoung has activated the skill ‘Lie Detection.’]

[‘Lie Detection’ has verified his words as false.]

She raises an eyebrow, smirking.

“Only because you just said it.”

“Sure,” she smiled like a liar.

Somehow it is the opposite smile of Yoo Jonghyuk’s smile when he threw Kim Dokja off the bridge and into the sea serpent’s mouth.

It’s frustratingly easy to remember how the last sunrays of the normal world is casted behind the protagonist. Seeing that damning smirk finalized the reality Kim Dokja is in.

This wouldn’t be Three Ways to Survive the Apocalypse without Yoo Jonghyuk.

This wouldn’t be Kim Dokja’s favorite novel without Yoo Jonghyuk.

This wouldn’t be Kim Dokja’s life without Yoo Jonghyuk.

So if Kim Dokja indulged into a few reader-insert fics where Yoo Jonghyuk fought by his side, survived by his side, was happy by his side, then call Kim Dokja a hopeless romantic.

“You are a hopeless romantic.”

“Why?” He demanded, less embarrassed and more worried if Han Sooyoung read his thoughts.

“I was there when Yoo Jonghyuk came bursting through the room before the Throne scenario. His eyes were only on you and you just exploded with sunshine.” She sticks her tongue out in disgust.

“I did not,” he shuttered, finally sitting up to defend himself with the little dignity he has left. “Sunshine?”

Han Sooyoung nods as if her words are obvious. She crossed her arms and scowled, “You read too many self-inserts.”

Kim Dokja shuts his jaw. If he says nothing she would not use lie detection.

The results are the same though.

Han Sooyoung laughs meanly, “I don’t blame your taste. Well he’s not for me but I guess he could be a real heartthrob.”

Kim Dokja sighs instead of agreeing.

Technically, all those fics were derived from Han Sooyoung’s protagonist.

As for Kim Dokja’s protagonist, he never got the creative drive (or sacrifice his dignity) to ever write his own self-insert with Yoo Jonghyuk.

Kim Dokja is a reader first and foremost.

And yet he still ends up inserted into Ways of Survival trying to overcome the scenarios, to outsmart the dokkaebi, and to eventually face off against the constellations.

All the while being Yoo Jonghyuk’s companion.

That last one is a work in progress.

“How many fanfics I’ve read doesn’t matter,” Kim Dokja says to Han Sooyoung, but it’s mostly to remind himself too.

“Oh I don’t know about that,” she smirks. “I think we’re in a classic canon divergence story.”

He scratches his chin, “That could be true.” As Han Sooyoung grins triumphantly, he says, “Maybe you didn’t plagiarize. You just wrote a big fanfiction.”

“Hey!”

He slow claps, “What a devoted fan.”

“At least I’m not in love with the protagonist.”

Kim Dokja nearly chokes, “I’m no-“

He shuts up before the display message appears.

[Han Sooyoung has activated the skill ‘Lie Detection.’]

She bats her eyelashes. “I’m waiting.”

“I hate you.”

[‘Lie Detection’ has verified his words as truth.]

“Because I’m not Yoo Jonghyuk,” she said, undefeated.

“Would you drop it?”

“No because it’s kind of flattering. You read fanfics of my novel and it has prepared you for the real deal! So what have you’ve done so far to capture his heart?”

“I’m not going to capture his heart.”

“Why not? He’s already obsessed with you.”

“Why would you think that?”

Han Sooyoung shrugged, “I’m a writer. I see things.”

Kim Dokja just blinks and lies back down.

“Don’t you want to know what I see?”

“Absolutely not, Han Sooyoung.”

“Imma tell you anyway.” His cry in protest is ignored. “In a crowded room where nearly everyone is killing each other, the time limit for the qualifying kings is ticking away-“

“You don’t have to describe it. I was there.”

“…and there! Fashionably late and very dramatic, the last king arrives but he pays no mind to anyone except one-“

“That was the one and only time you’ve seen us together and it was very short.”

“Nah uh,” she shakes her head, “My beheaded avatar. Yoo Jonghyuk practically presented it to you like a cat presenting their kill.”

Kim Dokja opens his mouth and closes it, having nothing to counter that simile.

“If you think I know little then what does that say about you?” She counters as if this is a riddle. “Kim Dokja believes he hasn’t made an impact on Yoo Jonghyuk? The only one who dares to upstand him, shouldering on herculean challenges, and hindering the plans of a great author?”

He frowns, “Are you insulting me or complimenting me?”

“Insulting because you’re too stupid realize that not only are you in a fictional genre, you will easily fall into a romance genre.” She angrily clicks her tongue, “How did an ugly guy like you get a hot harem?”

“My friends are not a harem.”

“Sort seems like it.”

Kim Dokja rubs his eyes, too tired of all this nonsensical conversations.

“My point is,” Han Sooyoung pokes his forehead to make sure he’s paying attention, “that you’re really becoming a reader-insert story. That usually leads to getting dicked down by the protagonist.”

Kim Dokja buries his red face in his hands.

“I’m just saying!”

“Then stop talking!”

“No way,” she pauses for a moment and taps her forehead, “where was I going with this again?”

“You decided to stop talking,” Kim Dokja said in hopes that this conversation will end.

“Nah,” Han Sooyoung waves her hand flippantly and then suddenly snaps her fingers with a grin, “Oh yeah, I was going on about the fact that Yoo Jonghyuk is in love with you like how you are in love with him.”

He just stares at this awful woman and quietly says, “He wouldn’t.”

“Must I repeat all the things I’ve told you?” Fortunately, she doesn’t but instead says, “You’re becoming way too important to a lot of people, including your protagonist.” Han Sooyoung grins, “I’ve read enough fanfiction to know where that goes.”

Kim Dokja unfortunately has read enough fanfiction too.

“Well Han Sooyoung, you’re wrong because the next time I see Yoo Jonghyuk he will likely kill me.”

His confidence does not change Han Sooyoung’s mind. “I think he’s trying to find you at this very moment.”

“To kill me,” he reinstates.

“But,” she flashes a smile, “if he doesn’t kill you immediately, it could be a sign.”

Again, Kim Dokja says nothing to argue against that because… well…

Han Sooyoung interrupts his thoughts with a singsong voice, “Sign of love!”

He stands up and goes back over to Lycaon to try training again, thoroughly ignoring the woman’s complaints.

Everything Han Sooyoung said has some misguided truths. This is the apocalypse. Everyone is depending on someone stronger to survive.

But this isn’t just any other apocalypse, this is the a story Kim Dokja knows from beginning to end. In spite of whatever future awaits them, he will do everything he can to use his knowledge to save everyone.

It’s almost expected that there will be moments where he did not see things coming.

For example, Yoo Jonghyuk showing up and not killing him.

It’s mostly because he’s poisoned.

Oh and the fact that the Disaster of Questions is waking up.

After buying their Midday Tryst and agreeing to the Oath of Existence, Yoo Jonghyuk agreed to not harm and instead cooperate with Kim Dokja for the time being.

All at the price of that Yoo Jonghyuk can hit Kim Dokja once.

Kim Dokja has no idea if this is a sign of love or not.

Maybe he’ll find out once that hit comes.

#my fic #kim dokja #han sooyoung #omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv #orv fic

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mythvoiced · 3 years

Note

ALLOW ME TO PLACE THESE Q'S HERE FOR OUR FAVE GOBLIN: Besides meat, what other foods does he find delight in? What's something that gives him utter peace as soon as it's there? How was his life during the Joseon era? Are there certain things in the past that he wishes could be available in the modern world, or is he fully comfortable with what's at hand? How would he feel if a particular gumiho suddenly hugged him from behind? 👀 LOVE YOU

-. @jeoseungsaja | Alex I would literally kill for you, if anybody ever comes at you, let them know I’ll be the last thing they see, BECAUSE I LOVE Y O U

---

This got so loNG I’MS O sorr y- Also look at this gif taken from the pack you sent me the link of <W<

-. Besides meat, what other foods does he find delight in? Would saying ‘fish’ be a bit too close to meat? Okay, that aside I do think Shin has a rather varied palate, mostly because he's had plenty of time to visit any place he’d wanted to visit and explore dishes and specialities to the point where it would be extremely shameful if he chose to not keep an open mind about new dishes. I also think he’s particularly fond of Korean dishes (in a similar fashion to Hyun) simply because it feels like home, especially if it’s traditional enough that it can bring him back to the beginning of it all, perhaps without reminding of the contexts that had made the beginning difficult. And I also think he might be a little bit of a gourmet: he’ll absolutely eat what he can get, considering how fond he seems to be of beer he can’t say he doesn’t like junk food or anything you could get and/or make easily. But for some reason I have a feeling that Shin thinks of food in a ‘the eye wants its part too’ fashion, meaning that he also enjoys when something looks good, when it’s presented well, and when it looks like it’s trying to make an impression - which is something we’ve seen him do before. Kim Shin is characterised by an interesting combination of ancient and modern, old and young, where he is both wise and petulant, reliable and petty, and these many contrasts living within his personality, can present themselves in something as simple as cuisine, too. So, yeah, he’ll eat ramyeon. But also that Canadian steak. And he loves homemade... and sitting in fancy restaurants.

-. What’s something that gives him utter peace as soon as it’s there? The people he loves. The Goblin has lived so long, has seen so many things, has owned a great deal of trinkets, properties, treasures. But nothing material can bring him the peace that the people he holds dear to his heart can. Because even objects with value only have said value because they remind him of those he’s had to move on from, loved ones he no longer gets to see. So, he might show anger at losing a plate Louis XIV used to eat on, but did that plate bring him peace? No. Does knowing Ji Eun-tak is safe, sleeping in a room in his house, hopefully soundly, bring him peace? Yes. Does the pitter patter of Saja’s houseslippers headed towards his bedroom bring him peace? Yes. Does purposefully ignoring Deok-hwa’s faux innocent smile in his peripheral asking him for money bring him peace? Yes. Simply getting to sit there and witness the people he loves be themselves, alive, hopefully well, going about their existence by pursuing their hobbies, engaging in their quirks and habits, is the most Shin doesn’t dare to ask for. That’s when he’s tranquil: when he gets to see those he loves be, free of plight, or imminent danger. When he’s sitting on their couch and watching Eun-tak spread her homework across their coffee table and occasionally shoot him that special smile, while Saja slurps on his milk and gets too invested in a drama playing on TV, and Deok-hwa is walking into the room babbling about some girl-related nonsense, well... What more can he possibly want?

-. How was his life during the Joseon era? I remember one shot of Shin in Joseon era, I think he’s sitting at a table and having a good time, possibly even gossiping about something, I don’t remember the episode this scene was in, nor can I find it anywhere else, but unless I’m having brain fry, I vaguely remember his appearance as well: according to his outfit, he must have been a yangban. Yangban is sort of what you could have considered nobility at the time, the ruling class of the Joseon dynasty, made up of military officials and/or scholars. Why am I mentioning this? Well, because obviously Kim Shin would have found a way to become a yangban. The title/class of Yangban is, this all according to my research so if I’m wrong shoot me and pls correct me, something a man had to earn by passing certain exams/attending a school, that would basically qualify them for the social status that would then turn the entire family into a yangban family (also because women couldn’t take these exams and studies, nor become officials or scholars, but could still inherit the title of yangban female from their fathers, for example). So, how was his life during the Joseon era? Well, high class I would say. I don’t remember what was being discussed in that scene, so I can’t say for sure, but I can’t see Shin choosing to become a military official yet again. Considering his experiences with the empire while serving it as a general, I can see Shin simply defying from the crown by minding his own and no longer offering his self and his services in any direct way to the palace. I can see him as a scholar, perhaps simply living his life as a yangban male and every now and then attending a few things just to maintain his status, all while he simply continued to explore the country and play pranks on other officials. And I can’t tell you why, but I can absolutely see him play pranks on other officials, or sneak some reading material to a daughter, or monopolise the attention of court ladies just because he can, going as far, of course, as he can get away with flirting with anyone at the time. He most definitely grew fond of a few faces here and there, since Shin is literally incapable of not growing fond of someone, once you enter his heart, you simply do, it’s far too big for a man like him, and far too willing, far too desiring, desiring to give and receive love, to give and receive attention, to give and receive the warmth and familiarity of connections. So, he led a good life, definitely financially speaking and simply in terms of quality, he was probably annoying for some, and probably avoided the very centre of palace life, because I can see him not wanting to have as much to do with royalty anymore.

-. Are there certain things in the past that he wishes could be available in the modern world, or is he fully comfortable with what's at hand? Shin is the sentimental type. I’m not even headcanoning it, and even if he attempts to hide it, he usually does an awful job at hiding just how much he cares and how much things affect him. He’s very loud and almost obnoxious at times in his reactions, he explains himself the same way a child might at times, he’s excitable, and he doesn’t feel shame to show Saja how much it matters to him, what impression he’d make in front of Eun-tak. He cares, and while vocal admittances are usually reserved for those very serious moments, he’s always proving just how sentimental he is. So, I would say, it’s a yes to both those alternatives. First the latter: yes, he’s fully comfortable with what’s at hand, because the modern world simply has so much to offer that he enjoys. Even if he doesn’t understand it or make regular use of it, you can see him move about the modern world rather comfortably, learn about any new customs, institutions, or ways of living. He keeps himself up to date (the business card thing, I swear-), he likes to tap into new passions and likes. And at the same time, he loves the world he came from. I always feel like, compared to perhaps Hyun, who I’m mentioning here because you know him which makes comparison easier (;3), who doesn’t feel himself to belong in any particular era but rather to existence as a whole, whenever I watch Shin, he’s extremely self-aware of the fact that his time on Earth has long ‘expired’. Other than the fact that he literally should have died back in Goryeo, one of the things that kind of fortifies this idea for me is what Shin looks like when he does actually die (and then returns): he’s dressed in the same clothes he wore when he ‘died’ in Goryeo. Shin’s soul seems to belong to Goryeo still, and as such, the life he’d led at the time (now, personal interpretation) somehow feels like The life, his life, while all the centuries that followed had been the extension. The culture, the habits, the food, the garments, anything, honestly, that belongs to Goryeo feels as if it’s something Shin knows, things he grew up with, things that shaped him, that was his time, and the modern world, Joseon, they’re times he’s visiting, even if it’s against his will. That’s the vibes I get. And I realise this answer is perhaps a little too much in contrast to the question :’3

-. How would he feel if a particular gumiho suddenly hugged him from behind? 👀 Oh YEAH- Now, I could answer this question by dipping into what we’ve seen Shin do in the canon in romantic scenarios/romantic-coded scenes, but I don’t want to. Because I don’t want to recycle reactions and demeanour he portrayed for/relating to Eun-tak, I want to explore what he does, and who he is, in the particular world that is verse 4 (because, this is a particular verse for Shin as well, since Yeo’s the bride <w<). SO, the reaction obviously always depends on what stage of their relationship they’re in <w< In the canon, he usually startles when Saja does anything remotely romantic(-coded?) (well, safe for some scenes where he looks a little surprised but not displeased-), but in my boat- Circumstances are different, Yeo/the person is different, and they’ve been interacting differently. I think at a point in time in which nothing has been said but a lot has perhaps been done and/or hinted at, insinuated, he’d probably startle and not really know what to do with himself. The worry that this is just a fox-antic meant to tease him or poke fun at him might be small, but very much present, so he’d just try to play it off with some lame line, half-jokingly insinuating Yeo’s being sweet because he wants something, or even straight up interpret it as Yeo holding onto him because he stumbled and Shin was just... there, to hold onto to so he doesn’t have to fall flat on his face. Have things been... discussed though, honestly, we know sometimes Shin acts like a shy virgin, which is honestly adorable, and he might even act that way a little bit in this scenario where he just has that goofy smile on his face and is doing that flustered shifty eyes thing, but I also like to think that the moment Yeo’s arms are around him, Shin just.. laughs. Like, a warm, heartful chuckle, as he leans back into Yeo’s chest and just kind of leans his head back and turns it enough to be able to look at Yeo, give him a silly flirty one-liner, maybe try to get a kiss out of hi- Or he’ll end up turning around in his arms still to grab his face and SMOOCH HIM- Might be vary slightly depending on what Shin’s doing, but this is the gist of it, yet, no matter what, sMOOCH FINALE-

#jeoseungsaja #a:#the goblin;about #the memories i have of you are not quite as bloody as you might be inclined to assume;historical wang yeo & kim shin #ALEX I CAN'T BEGIN TO DESCRIBE THE HURRICANE OF EMOTIONS I GOT WHEN I SAW THIS ASK #FIRSTLY oh goodness i hope these are any good at ALL it's been so long since i've seen a full episode aND might be a little off on #quite a few things actually i'm not sure but basically I HOPE THESE MAKE SENSE #SeCONDLY th ank y OU s O m uCH THANK YOU SO HECKING MUCH I CAN'T SAY IT ENOUGH #JUST? THESE the reason I wrote way too much is just because you GAVE ME SO MUCH THINKING MATERIAL THESE #HONESTLY I GOT TO DO SO MUCH THINKING AND SETTLING AND #JUST thank you so much for sending these and for giving my Kim Shin a SHOT hONESTLY? I got so excited writing this my brain suddenly went #'hey make a single muse blog for kim shin bc this is kind of BOSS' BUT I WON'T because he's all set up here iT'S JUST THAT #THE THOUGHT POPPED UP AT ALL? goes to show how much you do for him and me and my inspiration and writing and BASICALLY #if folks aren't stanning Alex on both jeoseungsaja and theimpalpable i'm NO LONGER ASKING-#gonna post it in a pinned pOST I SWEAR JUST?? this is she is YOU'D JUST- honestly-#;queue

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biblio-bitch · 4 years

Text

Detroit Evolution Commentary Pt. 3 [FINAL]

It’s been a while, sorry. Life sucks ass sometimes and I had to do some transferring to my new laptop. I’ll write down some more fun facts as an apology. Disclaimer: This is all stuff I noticed, inferred, or interpreted. I didn’t write the film, anything I’ve interpreted is just that, an interpretation based on things I noticed using my experiences and knowledge.

Fun fact #1: I have attempted to write in a proper novel style at least five times. After watching DE and watching @octopunkmedia ‘s script breakdowns and such, I've started writing scripts instead. I’m much farther along in those than I ever have been in books. 10/10 amazing for my visual based concepts.

Fun fact #2: My mental health was rapidly declining and I was losing interest in quite literally everything at the time the film was released. Watching the film and fixating on it for a month straight not only inspired me but helped me regain control of my life. Watching streams by the cast and Michelle while I worked for school made my productivity skyrocket.

Fun fact #3: I recently developed a tic that I now can’t get rid of. It was out of control for about twenty minutes right before I began writing this post. However, when I began re-watching the film (partially because it’s a comfort for me and I’m quite honestly terrified of what’s happening in the US right now) it stopped. So that’s fun.

As usual, spoilers and swearing under the cut! Quick note: If there should be a trigger warning on this or anything else I post, please let me know! I’m horrible at remembering to tag triggers. I’ll also be doing some quick posts on Umbrella Academy and my severe obsession with Jason Todd soon. Have fun!

As usual, here’s a list of people I know the users of in case you’d like to check any of them out. I’m likely missing people so feel free to let me know who I’m missing so I can add them!

Maximilian Kroger - Nines (@ maximiliankroger)

Christopher (Chris) Trindade - Gavin (@ trindabago)

Michael Smallwood - Chris Miller (@ michaelsmallwoodforever)

Carla Kim - Tina Chen (@ carlahkim)

Jillian Geurts - Ada (@ jilbobaggins_nyc)

Michelle Iannantuono - (@ octopunkmedia)

JJ Goller - Lazzo (@ quasar.cos)

Brett Mullen - Cinematographer (@ brettmullendirector)

Austin Butts - Sound Design (@ austinbytts)

Tiare Solis - Valerie (@ tiareleiana)

So I decided to put all of the rest into this post. It’s a long one. Not even that sorry about it bc I love this film with my entire heart. Warning for me getting sidetracked. I use a lot of Supernatural references but it’s because I’m visiting my dad and he’s binge watching the show. I like Dean and only Dean, don’t bully me for it.

The Wrist Grip™️ in the bedroom before Nines moves back

Shoutout to Maximilian Kroger’s muscles u go dude

Lighting Symbolism™️, big theme through the movie, honestly I think it’s beautiful and they did a wonderful job with it.

The little nod from Gavin as he starts talking about his nightmare

You can see Gavin gearing up to move, like not in a normal way, in a “oh god I don’t know if I have the energy to do this” way and that’s Relatable™️

The little smile from Nines as they sit together

The SHARK PLUSHIE I LOVE HIM (THE SHARK HAS AN INSTAGRAM @ sharktreuse)

Nines being domestic, making coffee and breakfast, being Soft.

Shirt change??? Either I’m blind or he’s wearing a different shirt in the morning (He is. He’s wearing a t shirt at night and a buttoned collar shirt in the morning. Perhaps he changed? He’s wearing normal pants so he probably changed but he’s not wearing that same shirt in the next scene)

Ada eye rolling at them being passive aggressive dumbasses. Same. Apparently Jillian kept fucking with them which is,, so valid.

The lighting in this scene (the office pt. 2) makes Maximilian look Android-white and outlined in the CyberLife blue-ish color. Very symbolic, I have no idea if it was intentional.

Another shoutout, this time to Maximilian’s eyebrows, the expressiveness is *chef’s kiss*.

“You can thank me later, Casanova.” Nines: *confused Android noises*

Honorable mention to Michael’s Foo Fighters t shirt in the bar, it’s vintage.

Nines is in fact wearing a different shirt now. Not the same shirt from the morning bedroom scene. I also think he’s wearing a different jacket. Less of a peacoat and more of a leather jacket. Nice.

Shoutout to Tina’s (not irl) wife, Valerie! And her weird crush on Hank! I honestly can’t wait to see her in Seven Deadly Synths!!

Ada DODGING the questions that Nines is asking because she is SHADY.

Also, he looks to Gavin when he talks about wanting to be more human. Recurring theme of him perceiving himself as lacking because of his ace-ness/android-ness, like he can’t give Gavin what he wants. Honestly I know that the android thing is a thinly veiled metaphor for race in canon but I kinda like thinking of it as a metaphor for being LGBT+ and in Nines’ case, specifically ace. Might not make sense but it does in my brain??

Gavin Senses Are Tingling and Nines is GONE. Leaving the bar for ur not-bf to try to talk things out like adults??? King shit.

Also electric lighter, fun, I genuinely didn’t know those existed

SHIRT WITH UNBUTTONED COLLAR

“You don’t want to help me, you want to fix me.” What a loaded line. Because in a way, it’s almost true? Like, Nines has this entire simulation of Gavin in his ideal world, and obviously that version of Gavin has probably been idealized at least a bit. Nature of humanity, and Nines might not be human but he’s got the Brain Things. And at that moment, it’s nearly true that Nines wants Gavin to be like that ideal Gavin. Obviously Nines wants Gavin as Gavin, but there’s the edge of that simulation there, still.

But Nines does want to help Gavin, and that’s where he’s wrong. Nines wants Gavin to get better, wants to help stop the nightmares, etc. But by pointing that out, I think it’s partially why Nines can accept letting go of Simulation!Gavin when Ada attacks him. Because he knows that the simulation of Gavin will never be the real Gavin, and this line sort of helps him understand that he can’t really keep Sim!Gavin anyways.

Again idk if that’s legit but that’s definitely something I felt from that while watching.

Nines is constantly very controlled, but when he walks away from Gavin you can see him straining to keep that composure and not let his anger show.

Ada looking So Done With This Shit when Nines comes back from talking with Gavin outside of the bar

“I’m sure this will be like...every other time.” Oh honey. Oh my sweet child. I am so very sorry. It most definitely will not be.

Ada’s exasperated Eyebrow Raise before taking a drink. If that ain’t the mood sis.

I love Ada’s bat wings on her outfits.

Gavin being a stalker and putting his hood up.

“I’m...certain that most of the credit can go to you.” IMMEDIATE ANGER. Must Defend Boyfriend.

I SO WANTED HIM TO SAY “WISDOM” WHILE TALKING ABOUT GAVIN’S SKILLS BECAUSE IT WOULD MIRROR HIM TELLING GAVIN THAT HE ISN’T WISE BEFORE THEY LEFT FOR THE STAKEOUT. He didn’t, but instinct is a better word for Gavin anyways.

Nines has Suspicion™️...press X for doubt...

*Only vaguely related rant warning*

I do feel that we as a fandom tend to make Connor almost childishly innocent despite him being likely one of the least kind and least innocent characters. The characterization of Nines in this--and pardon me for the off topic rant--where he’s a fully grown man and acts like it is so much more realistic. Nines is a cop, as is Connor.

Even post deviancy, they were designed and equipped to handle murder. Nines, in a lot of fandom content, tends to come off as an exasperated older brother or a gritty and mean detective, or even worse, essentially a sociopath who feels nothing in contrast to Connor’s childish and extreme innocence. I dislike both. Seeing Nines be a normal fucking person is so relieving, I’m serious. There’s still those elements of ‘oh he’s only been properly alive for like a year, right? He probably doesn’t get Chris’ Casanova reference.’ but it’s not to such an extreme that it overtakes all of his personality traits.

Like, yeah, ok, I get why a lot of fandom content does that. In order to balance what we see Connor do (and in order to further push the Hank as a father line) we over-emphasize the not getting references and such. Honestly I see the same in content for Castiel from Supernatural. Nines, when he’s added, often HAS to be a lot darker in order to make that seem not as jarring and unrealistic.

Doesn’t mean I enjoy it. If you do? That’s great, good for you, but I don’t like seeing those characters be portrayed as such one dimensional extremes. People aren’t like that. On the off chance that someone is such an extreme, there’s still other aspects of their personality.

DE has done an amazing job at not flattening their personalities. Nines and Gavin are three-dimensional and incredibly interesting characters I find myself invested in every time I watch it.

*Onto the commentary again.*

Gavin is still being a stalker

“Particular fascination with the RK line” AHAHA funny. She’s also an RK, and she likely knows more than Nines because her programming is based on information gathering. Her fascination begins and ends with what their programming can do for her.

The little computer details in Ada’s eyes as she copies Nines’ OS, and again in Nines’ eyes when he’s in the alley alone. I believe Michelle did all of that and I am just amazed every time I watch.

The warped voice effect.

Gavin shifting to hold Nines as soon as he passes out

The ethereal colored lighting is very good for the mood, space hospital vibes

Shoutout to the latex suit they put Maximilian in! That’s not CG! He’s wearing a full body white latex suit. I’m so sorry.

Gavin looks so tired talking to Dr. Maria. His posture is defensive, pulled into himself. Shoulders hunched, arms pulled in. Eye bags, messy hair. Boy looked messed up. Somebody hug him.

Nines’ hair being disheveled and messy in the corrupted Zen Garden, rivaling his assertion that in his ideal world (Aka the normal Zen Garden) his appearance is polished, signifying the loss of control and the loss of the Zen Garden being a safe, ideal space for him. Same concept with Sim!Gavin being corrupted.

Nines: *wakes up in his mindspace*

Also Nines, immediately: GAVIN!!1!!1

Nines believes in CONSENT!! You do not go into someone’s program without asking, ADA.

Ada’s “poor widdle baby” face as Nines is freaking out because she trapped him. Mood.

Tina wearing a low turtleneck and a flannel is Peak Gay, especially next to Gavin “I wear the same leather jacket+hoodie combo every single day and probably the same jeans for a month” Reed, aka the most disastrous and chaotic bisexual I have ever seen. Again, a mood, I honestly felt that one.

The face when Nines realizes that Ada isn’t deviant yet.

Gavin is blaming himself somebody stop this idiot.

“Not without Nines.” What a softie.

“The last thing I said to him was ‘I don’t need you’.” BITCH WHAT THE FUCK MY HEART.

Gavin calling Tina “T” in that soft voice is so sweet omg

Ugh the bisexual LIGHTING is KILLING ME, ESPECIALLY as Gavin sits at Nines’ bedside

Tina encouraging Gavin. WLW/MLM solidarity.

Fun fact: Chris Trindade told Maximilian not to react at all to the big speech but Maximilian literally started crying during it and there’s footage somewhere of the Dramatic Single Tear rolling down his face while he’s still ‘in stasis’.

Yes, I double checked the streams to make sure I got this right, I love the concept though.

Look I cannot get into the speech because I will write 1.5k words on it, but I will say this: It made me cry. The acting, the writing, it’s iconic. The amount of love and devotion they got without even saying the words “I love you” was amazing. Chris is so very talented.

THERES A TAKE WHERE GAVIN FALLS ASLEEP NEXT TO NINES’ HOSPITAL BED AKSDGAKL IM SCREAMING

Tina is the best wingman ngl

The glitches in Zen Gavin are amazing. The sequence when he’s deleting the Zen Garden is also amazing. I use amazing a lot but it’s deserved.

Nines deleting the Zen Garden and Sim!Gavin is very symbolic of letting go of all of the fake stuff, letting go of the fear he was holding that kept him from confessing to Gavin and I love that

Nines sitting silently straight up.

Gavin is highly intelligent and I’m so glad Octopunk embraces that.

*another vaguely related rant warning*

Ok let me tell y’all a thing because this RUINS MY LIFE. People tend to take characters like Percy Jackson or Dean Winchester, whose intelligence isn’t outwardly obvious from the get-go, and remove it entirely. Percy is reduced to an idiot who can’t tie his own shoes and Dean is often shown basically unable to research without Sam. Both of those are bullshit.

Percy has ADHD and Dyslexia, so when often we categorize smart as only book-smart, Percy’s intelligence as a battle strategist and his actual knowledge gets erased. Dean is usually the more physical and shoot-first-never-ask-questions type, and his intelligence is severely downplayed. He made an EMP detector from scratch. Made a shotgun, remembers how to kill things, is a very good hunter, especially on his own. But that’s thrown away because he’s not book-smart.

I despise when people take characters who are talented and smart in ways that aren’t just reciting the periodic table and reduce them to muscles and angst or drooling children.

Octopunk having a scene where Gavin is working through a case, already having done the things that Chris, someone who was only recently promoted, suggests, is just affirming Gavin’s intelligence in a way I wish I could be not surprised by. Gavin is smart, and luckily I haven’t seen much downplaying that fact. He’s a detective for a reason. Unfortunately I think it might be because the fandom tends to turn Connor and Nines into actual children, but a win is a win.

Now I’m not saying I don’t love a good himbo character but I literally had to stop interacting with Percy Jackson content because people wrote him as incapable.

*Moving on*

“I think I can help with that.” Bitch why are you so dramatic I love him so much.

Nines’ t-shirt says “Detroit City Marathon”

“You...undead asshole.” What an iconic line. I need a t-shirt.

“I...hate you.” “You love me.” Harkens back to the beginning where the roles are reversed. Yes I used that unironically. Words are fun.

Gavin looking scared right before The Kiss™️

THE PULSE POINT!! THE SCENE WAS SUPER EMOTIONAL SO MICHELLE WANTED THEM TO DO YOGA ZEN SHIT TO PREPARE AND THEN THEY JUST DID THE THING BUT THEY PUT IN THE PULSE POINT

ANYWAYS THAT’S WHAT GAVIN IS FEELING FOR ON NINES’ WRIST RIGHT BEFORE THE KISS.

I thought that was cute when I learned it in one of the streams.

Nines’ LED spinning blue when they finally kiss asgladkaf

“What dipshit programmed you to do that?” “I’m the most advanced android ever made, detective-“ “oh you are such a fuckin’ prick!” “Takes one to know one.” I canNOT with them, I laughed my ASS off

The little broken laugh Nines does

Nines rubbing his hands over Gavin’s while they talk about Gavin’s jacket

Shoutout to Chris’ surprised pikachu face. (Tina is also there) That was a joke take, it’s in the gag reel, too. The face wasn’t supposed to make it into the film but Michelle added it. (In the gag reel, Carla yells “Let’s go to Denny’s!” At the end.)

And Ada’s leather pants. Honestly?? She’s so pretty. I love her. They’re all really attractive it’s actually terrifying.

Nines and Tina being a part of the Gay Turtleneck Gang

Nines’ untucked turtleneck

Tina being a Smart Girl. (Nines calling her “Officer” and her replying with “I’ll make detective someday.”

Chris being Exhausted during the whole meeting. Me too dude.

Chris and Tina doing literally nothing while Gavin and Nines have a whole heart to heart

The WHITE COAT. Tina in her blues. Chris’ Foo Fighters shirt. They’re such icons but they absolutely look like a group of gay ppl who did NOT decide on a theme.

The fight sequence is impressive, considering that they’re literally not stunt actors. I’m not a fight choreographer or stunt person so That’s really all I have to say on that.

Chris patting Gavin’s gun after he explains what he’s doing. \

As a Jason Todd lover the crowbar is unfortunate (had to, sorry)

Nines’ smirk and the TURTLENECK as he spins away from Ada with the crowbar. Iconic. The Big Dick Energy. Especially for someone who doesn’t have a dick.

Chris being a Dad when Gavin runs off to go stop the body calibration

Ada just YEETS Gavin. Iconic.

Ada: *doing the villain “you won’t shoot me, you’re too moral” thing*

Chris: Shut the fuck up *shoots her*

Deviancy sequence, iconic

“You’re awake now” bitch get your own tag line, Markus became Robot Jesus for this shit

He’s HOLDING HER HAND while DEFENDING HER!! PLATONIC HAND HOLDING

Gavin trusting Nines’ decision immediately. Amazing. THAT’S LOVE BITCH.

The SMILES after Ada leaves!! They know they made the right choice!

Ugh the COLOR SYMBOLISM!! This is one thing that Michelle has touched on herself! Gavin isn’t wearing white in this scene because he’s not ‘fixed’, he never will be! He has trauma and he’s just barely beginning to heal from it with Nines’ help. He’s wearing grey, lighter than his usual, but still grey because they aren’t pure or innocent and they’re not perfect!! And that’s the fucking point!! It’s also a contrast against Sim!Gavin wearing white! Sim!Gavin was an idealized version of Gavin in Nines’ idealized world!! Real Gavin isn’t that!! So he’s wearing grey!!

Gavin immediately understanding that Nines is Ace and that it’s ok!! Beautiful!

“You’ve been a whole person since the day you woke up” YES!! YOU DO NOT NEED SEX TO BE WHOLE!! FUCK YEAH!!! (this is ace excitement. In the months since writing this I realized I’m aro-ace and trans so fuck yeah for ace rep.)

Gavin being a dick and making Nines tell him about the skin thing

THE KISS!! They slowly move more into the light!! Because they’re getting better TOGETHER!!

Ok before I sign off, it’s only 3 am so I think I’m awake enough to talk about this, I like that they bring up that Gavin has like, actual issues that he needs to get through. Let’s be 100% honest here, I see Gavin as having ADHD, depression, and probably a form or symptoms of PTSD. He’s kinda fucked up and I’m gonna be real here he needs some therapy. He’s got trauma and needs to work through it.

I like that at the end they explicitly have Nines understand and accept that that’s what needs to happen. As someone who has actually had relationships ruined because of trauma (on both sides) that we were unprepared to work through together, if I had seen something like that? Game changer. As it was, most relationships I had seen were idealized and seemed to “fix” those issues by way of just being in a relationship. Thanks major media.

Now that the Detroit Evolution post series is over, I’m gonna be a bit sentimental and say that this film quite literally changed my life. Seriously. Michelle is such a big inspiration for me and I can only hope to be the same for someone else.

If you ever have a chance to check out any of the amazing people who worked on this film, please do. To put into context how big this was: I changed my ideal college major from Forensics to Film.

That’s it that’s all, ending this post at 3:24 am before I literally start crying over it. Thanks for suffering through my long-winded explanations, I hope you enjoyed. Have a wonderful day.

#theo watches Detroit Evolution #octopunk media #reed900 #gavin reed #rk900 #look I tagged Michelle because I have shit impulse control and I wanted y'all to have like #a direct link to her page #i might cry if she sees this and comments on it #seriously I might #happy tears though #it's 3 am and my tic is back #I have no impulse control rn #and I would fight god #also if y'all wanna request something head to the askbox or the dms #I'll look into it

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sugarandspice-games · 3 years

Text

Okay, so I finally got through Saeran's good ending, I might go back and play the normal and other bad endings later if I feel like it, but as that was an emotional rollercoaster, I need some time to recover. But I'm going to put my full review under the cut.

Will I be releasing my rewrite outline at this point (though not really a rewrite, since I made it before the AE was ever released when I was drunk and salty at the lack of news)? I'm not sure. I wasn't 100% satisfied, but we'll call it a good 65% as I feel like there was more I liked than I hated. I'll leave that decision up to my dear readers, whether or not they want to see it. (Though there are only like... 8 of you here and I know you're probably here for Obey Me content and not MysMess)

I do plan on playing the Jumin Bad End DLC, but I may not liveblog it as I haven't really heard good things. This seems like another ploy for fanservice, but I do want to get more lore about Jumin's backstory, and honestly... I'm gay and want to see those sexy CGs. That being said... this is the last I will discuss the canon material on this blog, and it may be the last time I engage with the canon material (as I believe cheritz has announced that this is the finale anyway, and will no longer update the game). I will most likely continue to create fan content for it, as Sugar and I have our own sort of... fanfic thing going on with the characters and our OCs. But this is a personal and huge special interest of mine, and rather than go through everything and pick it apart for the rest of my days... I want to leave the game and the characters I love so much with only my happiest memories. They'll live on in my heart.

But I digress... here is my semi-condensed review. Sugar may talk about it as well, though I do not speak for them. THIS SHOULDN'T NEED TO BE SAID BUT HERE THERE BE SPOILERS. DO NOT READ IF YOU DID NOT COMPLETE THE GOOD END OF RAY'S AE.

The Good:

Saeran. Saeran was the best thing about this route. His character development was beautiful, and every time I saw him, I felt my heart swell with pride and love. His new sprites are so adorable as well as his beautiful CGs, and he looks healthier and happier in a lot of them. He's grown to be such a loving, gorgeous, wonderful man despite everything that happened in his painful life, and his story is nothing short of inspirational. I have a lot of love for Saeran, I have from the moment I saw him but this route really drove it home for me. He will have a special place in my heart among my fictional loves that can never be replaced.

Jumin Jumin Jumin! Jumin was one of the absolute MVPs this route, he was doing the most and boy... I just want to hug him. Even though he was in horrendous pain he was doing the absolute best he could to help everyone. He's been a love of mine for a long time, and that love only grew in this route. I was also glad to meet Driver Kim and see the interaction between him and Daddy Han Sr. (Because obviously Juju is the junior Daddy Han lol)-- even though I have mixed feelings about the Chairman, it makes me happy to see Jumin getting the caring he deserves from his father. And the fact that he even turned his back to let Jumin express his emotions without feeling embarrassed... Fucking killed me.

They did Rika right this go around. Yes, she got off to a really rough start, but she was very human and bearable here... and complete with her realizing her wrongdoings and working to right them in the end. It was a gorgeous arc, I'm so happy for her. I have a love hate relationship with her character, as she used to be a very badly written villain IMO... but one of the good things about Another Story in general is that it gave her depth that she didn't have before. And if they wanted to redeem her, they 100% did it right here, even if she had a rough beginning and had to make mistakes to get to where she was. I thought it was very human. Good on you, cheritz.

Vanderwood got a lot of good interactions here, and I'm really happy they gave us more Van content. Even if we're not getting a route for him, it's enough to me to finally see him expressing the affection we all know that he holds for Saeyoung, and working to help him.

The twins finally get to be happy! Need I say more?

Everyone doing well in their lives made me really happy too... most of the other routes had this problem where if one person got to be happy, someone else would have to suffer in exchange. I'm so glad that everyone got a happy ending.

The new chats made me extra emotional... I'm not sure why, to be honest, I think I'm just happy to see everyone again. It had been such a long time since I played Mystic Messenger, and talking to everyone again just like old times felt like returning to a childhood home (though I was 19 when I discovered this game initially, haha). I cried a lot, which is extra weird for me since I don't tend to cry in general.

Yoosung loves Saeran soooo much... in fact, everyone does. It made me happy, bc I was initially worried that he wouldn't have made friends with the RFA or that it would be awkward, but seeing everyone loving him and him being sweet back to them was adorable. Jumin also loves him and you can't change my mind (though maybe that's my wishful thinking of being in a Jumin & Saeran sandwich talking...)

So many good messages in this AE, and they hit very personally. I came to the same realization last year, that in the end, nothing in life matters except love, since you can't take anything else with you when you die. I shan't elaborate more!

Everyone's voice acting was so good! It was so beautiful and emotional, I could feel it through their voices. I usually skip the voice lines since I read so fast, but I'm happy I didn't.

The Bad:

Oh Jihyun... what have they done to you? I know I said he wasn't OOC and I stand by that, but it really feels like the writers hated him this AE. Even his sprite looked so awful and blurry. And he didn't get any good realization that he deserved better or anything, the literal cult leader and prime fucking minister got to be redeemed when he didn't. What the actual fuck. Sugar will definitely have more to say about it, and probably in a more articulate way, but let it be known that I don't like it either.

Furthermore, even if it's not OOC, it's structurally sloppy for him to come to some realization only to stay the exact same as he's always been. And same with Rika too. As I said in a previous post, having them both go through these realizations only to make them the villains again really felt like beating a dead horse. What can I say except AAAAAAAAA. WHAT THE FUCK?

Again, I must reiterate... why'd they make it so you have to be a bitch to Rika to get the good ending? I get that it's probably wish fulfillment for some people in the fandom, but it isn't for me. I really don't have any desire to berate or insult her bc in the end she needs serious help (even if I wanted to throw hands with her sometimes), and if the point was to call her on her misbehavior... some of it went too far (looking @ the "Don't stab Saeran's eyes out!" choice. I didn't like that at all, especially since it felt like you were making fun of Jihyun's trauma.) It especially made the end of her arc fall flat when she's like "Thank you for being kind and trying to understand me..." like, gurl... the game didn't let me do that without making me bad end! Jeez.

Also, literally why was it necessary to redeem the prime minister? He's a monster who tried to murder his own children. It's okay if they needed that scene where Saeran and you tried to understand him, but having him actually come around made no sense... why would he want to listen to you or Saeran when we've seen time and time again that there isn't really any good in him? He's just not a good person. And no, I'm not saying this because I wanted him to die or anything! ...Okay, maybe I did. Fuck that guy. I hate him. (Also the whole "you're only this way because you're lonely!" was so corny, I didn't choose those options but gjkgkgkfk)

The Ugly:

Have y'all heard about how much I hate the agency Boss? I hate him so much... I want to drown him in the toilet. I want to feed him taco bell laced with laxatives. I want to-- anyway, I digress. Not classifying this under bad because cheritz did their job by making him hateable and oh boy, did I hate him. He made me want to barf. I also commend his voice actor for somehow making me feel greasy through the screen. Seriously, dude, hats off to you. You are a genius.

That's about all I have to say for now... you can peruse my talk tag if you want to see any of my other thoughts on this game, but they don't tie into the good and bad. Despite the flaws, I enjoyed myself this route and I'm happy I played it. Even though there will always be things to improve upon in this game... I'm happy I picked it up, and I'm happy I met everyone. I would write them all letters or something but that'd be kinda corny since they're just game characters and won't see it anyway, and I know I'm not the only nor am I the most attractive MC out there... so this is Spice, signing out! Byebye, Mystic Messenger. You'll always have a special place in my heart.

All of the... weird horniness between Rika and Saeran made me feel grossed out. Her having him in a collar with a leash, and the game options that insinuate she has a thing for him... ew ew ew. Please stop it. That shit is so disgusting and I'm going to puke.

@ Both Saeyoung and Saeran: stop fucking trying to die all the time! Seriously! Let me love you and want to save you, when will you get it through your thick skulls that one gay ass MC who loves you very very dearly would NEVER be happy if you died? AAAAAAAA

#ray ae spoilers #mysmess #mystic messenger #ray after ending #spice talks #mysme salt

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