#medication balance for me

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

*tries to organize my thoughts*

*remembers i'm not in school and therefore beholden to neither heaven nor hell nor any man's grading system*

*joyously shredding & tossing all my carefully arranged 3x5 mental notecards into the air like so much beige confetti. raising my arms in victory, cheering raucously until i accidentally inhale bits of homemade confetti*

(*coughing up itty bits of paper like a cat evicting a hairball with a firm understanding of tenants' rights*) wait wat happens next

#i marie kondoed my thoughts and *i* feel great. but now my stream-of-consciousness has escaped containment #so many innocent bystanders at stake #every time i try to organize my thoughts i run out of plastic bins and have to make a trip to the container store where i get even more dis #racted so. you can't just hand me THIS brain and NO catalogue OR library classification system #and expect me to single-handedly sort through all this nonsense? bad form but fucking form not in my job description #aNYways. formal education sure did a FUCKING NUMBER on us huh #(a number i measure not in gpa or dollars of student debt. #but in the number of therapy sessions & medical debt it will take to recover.) #seriously folks. our education systems are...innately traumatizing for a huge number of students. and we NEED to address this. #the fact that it is culturally common for adults to have anxiety nightmares about school/exams...even decades later? #that is not cute. it is Alarming. #no one--much less entire generations--should be spending their developmental years in an environment of chronic stress & pressure & strain #and yet that is the reality for millions and millions of pre-teen and teenage and young adult students #this isn't healthy and it serves and empowers NO ONE #...except of course the many exploitative educational & financial & debt-collecting institutions thriving from the current balance of power #and of course it's a nefarious and powerful way to sabotage/erase the middle class #which billionaires and the wealth-inequality creators they finance couldn't possibly have any noteworthy interest in whatsoever #it's not like there's an elite group of people with huge financial incentives to drain/steal resources from the masses... #anyways sorry for going all Conspiracy Theory on you. #obviously the billionaires who control the vast majority of our resources and news and political campaign funding #are not tied to every single itty bitty social issue and i'm a silly billy to imply it #please tell elon musk to ignore this tweet i am so subservient and acquiescent #mr musky u r so good at inheriting slavery-built mining fortunes & buying other people's companies #& building rocket ships & fancy cars that do NOT explode/catch fire & also NOT running billion dollar companies into the ground #mr musky u r so talented genius billionaire playboy with 10 kids and ex-wives who find you creepy af babe u r basically iron man

[yourlocalmissingtexture]

Unhinged “trust me, I’m a doctor” scientist & their partner whom they perform questionable experiments on is my favorite dynamic

#ship dynamics #relationship goals lol #who do you wanna be/who are you in this dynamic? #I wanna be the test subject :) fix me up doc #uhh y’know what I’m dropping the guys I’m thinking of #if any of y’all reblog do the same cause I need more of this dynamic in my life #Frankenstein & his monster #Frank n Furter & Rocky #Medic & Heavy #this goes for all kinds of relationships btw #besties in STEM #love in the laboratory #complicated feelings from trying to balance adoration and feeling used #all of it #mad scientist #evil scientist #test subject #lab experiment #why do i like mad scientists lmao #200 eek #300 :] #400

[gophergal]

Y'all know I can't resist r63 so behold! Women (and Pyro)

Bonus doodles (including femHeavyMedic and some commentary) under the cut!

Solly has a mullet, here's a better view of that without her headband

Obligatory HeavyMedic, feat oblivious sapphic Heavy and gremlin lesbian Medic

Demowoman taking a snooze

Notes:

Medic looks kinda like Miss Pauling and I didn't realize that until the HeavyMedic doodle. Damn. Oh well I'm not changing the design she's just going to look like an older evil Miss P

Pyro is the same as always, the only difference that they're obsessed with Dinosaurs and the team started out defaulting to "she/her" for them

Scout's necklace is a locket with a single, blurry, worn photo of her mom in it. She would never be able to identify Spy using it, but it means a lot to her

In the specific AU(s) I have in my brain, the only characters who've been swapped are the Mercs and anyone who would need to be swapped for the sake of keeping the logic consistent. So, Scout's Ma is her dad here and Heavy is the oldest of four sisters. However, Miss Pauling is still a woman. I have a specific reason that boils down to "it's funnier"

#gopher art #fem fortress #heavymedic #red Oktoberfest #team fortress 2 #tf2 soldier #tf2 scout #tf2 sniper #tf2 pyro #tf2 medic #tf2 engineer #tf2 spy #tf2 heavy #tf2 demoman #oh my god thats so many fucking tags holy shit #anyway women. i love them. a lot of the popular fem designs ive seen have been really nice but dont quite scratch the itch for me #i wanted to balance keeping the designs consistent and making them different from their canon counterparts. not pyro though. #pyro is the same as a measuring stick y'know? #also i took inspo from various cosmetics and you can definitely tell lmao

[unpretty]

concept: tumblr theme that makes it look like a spreadsheet or perhaps email program so it's less obvious that i'm being paid to shitpost

#original #this wasn't the post i originally opened this editor to make #but my boss came up and talked to me and when i came back to the browser window i forgot what i wanted to post #no one here knows what tumblr is so it's fine but i feel like the goth rave theme makes it clear it isn't work related #oh right i was gonna post about why sorrowverse batman didn't go to medical school #anyway back to elaborate spreadsheets #(the spreadsheet i use to print updated leave balances is SO stupid it's funny you would not believe this fucking code)

[skunkes]

your art is such an inspiration in every way but it also got me over my crazytown fear of selfship with ocs and in having the most fun ive ever had in my life. Hanging out with him in my mind (also your linear burn lineart trick helped so much?? all of my sketches feel so complete now. i love it!!)

oc selfship cope is the only thing keeping me alive and sane rn so if i can spread that knowledge/courage/ability/etc im happy ^_^ yippee

#anonymous #i have another blood test and the mri coming up and the only way im staying calm as someone afraid of #needles and medical stuff is by knowing i can come home and pretend to be loved and gently cared for by my guy #skunk mail #me and talon loaf around while al is at work its a fun balance

[aro-culture-is]

quick note - this blog is gonna be sparse again for at least this week. trying new medications and tbh initial side effects are not super pleasant + actual effects build up. as a result: currently as if unmedicated for mental health, with anxiety+ side effect, extra fatigue, dizziness, and fatigue. it's uh, sure something.

totally recognize that most of y'all know we're absent at times due to health things, just wanted to give a heads up that this one is at least anticipated.

#fun fact sometimes condensing meds just means poorer treatment of some conditions #this is a re-expansion + new thing #so that instead of poorly treating my mental health and using an unusually high dose SNRI for another (physical) condition #i will hopefully both be in less pain AND not depressed af AND also have an appetite again #i doubt i will be lucky and not have a fucked stomach due to meds but one can hope that an appetite will allow me to eat foods that upset #my stomach a lot less #my health is forever a massive balancing act #every time a medical thing is like 'so what meds do u take' i'm like here i wrote it down for u #and they're like 'oh. ooookay. let me just...' *five minutes of typing and clicking later* #'so! what did you come in for again? uhuh. you said you experience pain daily? with your chronic pain thing? hm. have you tried yoga?' #/gen #like. straight up every time i say 'i am in pain all the time due to fibromyalgia' they are like 'ooh studies say regular exercise helps' #and like. theoretically yes! but also. i would be lying if i said the fibromyalgia studies i've skimmed don't set off general 'bad science' #alarm bells in my brain #like... cool you performed a fibromyalgia study with... all male lab rats? mhmm? so are you aware fibromyalgia appears to occur #overwhelmingly in women? like. data seems to suggest between 70-85%? #(not that the data can't still indicate things but it certainly makes male rats a poor choice of model for tests on it) #also just... idk i've looked at some metaanalysis and been like 'okay cool theory and for all i know about human bio or bio in general that #sounds more or less correct BUT. you never discussed that one study on this subject that did NOT support your conclusion. #and that's 1) interesting when it was the most diverse group of subjects and the exceptions often teach just as much as the 'rule' #2) just shitty science. tell me how your theory is still credible when some evidence doesn't fit the model. #like... 'given that all other studies were primarily conducted on white american women in their 30s to 40s it is possible that this model #only explains (the early effects of fibro since that's a typical onset period) / (a possible genetic link primarily found in white women) / #(a possible sign of bias in diagnosis that demonstrates the possibility that there are different causes) / combinations of all of those #like... idk a paper that just throws out things that don't support it is a pretty big red flag #it doesn't mean the conclusion is entirely incorrect but it is often important to understand the context in which it applies #like... it's very easy to jump to an incorrect conclusion if you used something in the wrong context #ie: thumbs up is a good job / positive thing in a lot of western civilizations. teenage kee once went to china and discovered it to be #neutral to offensive in many areas outside of major tourist locations that were used to it #anyways i gotta sleep

[raksh-writes]

Maybe this doesn’t need to be said, but Im feeling awful about it, so -- to any mutuals that might notice Im not following them anymore, I'm sorry about that. I've just seen too many posts on my dash that I have no way of blocking because they're not tagged in any way and they're distressing enough it's turning one of the only places I considered a safe space not safe for me anymore. So for my own mental health, I had to unfollow. I Will refollow in the future and I still love y'all, but I just-- I can’t. Ive been noticing some very worrying stuff about my mental and emotional state and it's just too much currently. I hope it's at least an understandable decision, and I wish y'all are having a good day out there 💗

#personal #I know its important to keep up with current events #but life overall's been a bit too much for me lately #I should prob go back to my therapist #I haven’t seen her since I went back to uni #for one because I didn’t know my schedule when we last meet and we both thought this should balance me #finally having purpose again and doing what I actually enjoy #but I also don’t have a job now so its costs and... I don’t know #but I probably should now that Im thinking maybe its time to actually get medicated for real #tho first maybe I should just visit my family doc and ask for those vit d supplements my therapists talked about #see if thats gonna be enough #autumn (and winter) has always been an awful time for me in terms of mental and emotional health #but it feels even worse these days #like Im battling against depression every day recently and rarely anything works to distract me #which is why its been hard to get back to peels in dms and such too #I was meant to meet with a friend now that Im studying in a city she lives in but I have yet to get back to her #and it feels like I have not only Zero but like Negative energy and motivation #+ Ive been dealing with an upset stomach for Weeks now #no matter what I eat it feels weird and achy and barely anything tastes good for me already so now its even worse #anyway this turned into such a rant Im sorry #I just didn’t want the lovely peeps Ive been mutuals with for a long time to think I stopped liking them or smth #its just certain untagged posts that I would otherwise block if I could #and I dont wanna impose onto anyone like a 'rule' to tag them or whatever #so yeah this is just temporary #hopefully at some point I get better enough to survive the couple distressing posts heh...

[whump3000]

Whumptober No. 4- Sybil

Sybil hated sleep. She'd avoid it at all costs, pumping loud music through her headphones, or knitting blankets until Angus yelled at her to stop because they were running out of places to store them. It was a grueling task, but she tried to make it work to her advantage, researching the various cities, in the hopes of one day disappearing all together, along with her friends. But every bit as much as she craved freedom, so her body craved sleep, and soon or later, she would eventually doze off, too tired to fight off the demons that roamed freely about her dreams.

...

"Just make it stop," She sobbed between rounds, "I'll do anything you want. Just don't do it again."

But the woman smiled, saying that pain was a critical part of making a masterpiece as she cranked the voltage all the way.

Fire burned through her arm, peeling away at her flesh, sinking its teeth into her bones. Sybil howled, thrashing against the table, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You're a monster," she choked, body twitching involuntarily as the voltage faded, "You're a monster and I hope you rot in hell."

"If I am a monster, why am I the one with no fish fangs or tail?" The museum curator clicked her tongue as if what she said settled the matter, and walking over and ripping back the wires. She smiled, admiring her handywork, ignoring the girl's whimpers as she prodded her sizzling wounds.

"Hmm. Not my best work, I think we need to do another round."

"Please," she sobbed "At the very least, just put me to sleep."

"You'll live," she replied in a singsong tone, "Who knows? Maybe someday this will all just feel like a dream."

...

Sybil jerked, opening her eyes. The operating room was gone, nothing more than a fragmented memory. Distantly, she could hear the sounds of Alex struggling with the garden gate. She sighed and forced herself to smile. It was kind of funny. They'd lived here for just short of a year now, and Alex still couldn't figure the damned thing out. But her smile quickly faded, as she became aware of a second sound-- a second voice-- lilted and strange. She grabbed Angus's bb gun and swung it towards the door as it opened.

"Halt! Who goes there?"

"Syl, it's me!" Alex threw up her hands, "I'm sorry this is such short notice, but. I broke out another one."

#whumptober 2023 #no. 4 #shock #oc #fic #medical whump #whump #mer whump #whumpee #yes this is late again #i vastly underestimated how hard it would be to balance law classes and daily writing but here we are #i just have one more class tomorrow and then maybe i can use my free time to get ahead on the weekends #also it took me so long to figure out how i wanted to end this #regardless i hope you enjoy #whump writing #whump blog #whump scenario

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

what if i dropped out of school and became the clown i was born to be

#u know half the time i’m like i was born for academics then half the time i’m like someone take me out back and put me down #bc the education system hurts me i am either loving it or seconds from crying or both perhaps i should leave it and test my luck #elsewhere #maybe i would just go and work at a bakery and bake bread at 4 in the morning maybe that would give me peace (it would not) #maybe i go to clown school and let my mind have a break #but i know i would regret it bc i’m the only child who is expected to succeed and that sounds bad but my mom’s kinda put all her #eggs in one basket and i’m the one that has to go to college and become something or else i’ll be just another disappointment that she #put more time into than i’m worth #but bad decisions run in the family anyway so she wouldn’t be surprised if i became a waste of potential lmao #or maybe i’ll stay in school and try to get medicated or smth i think maybe i would be able to last if they balanced by brain out #idk man i’m kinda having a little bit of a crisis again lmao

[marrissacooper]

me every time I finish an episode of house md season 3

#house md #i feel like s1 and s2 balanced drama and comedy perfectly #and obviously s3 also has a lot of funny moments #but every episode leaves me contemplating the meaning of life #i'm still not over s3e12 #and i just watched the one where foreman kills the girl with an infection #like idk what it is with this season but even the episodes that are on the light side #like the one with the romani patient for example the stakes weren't super high but at the end when he refuses to take the internship #and says to foreman that they're all great doctors but they're alone...i almost cried #it's the way every medical case in s3 really has an impact on the characters in some way #and even the tritter storyline #if you compare it to vogler in s1 vogler was about criticism of the healthcare system #sure wilson standing up for house was cute but tritter was about the way house treats people #it gave depth to his relationship with wilson with cuddy and even with the team #anyway i'm getting carried away just know that i'm crying every night

[softsnzstuff]

@victoriablackrose got me thinking

How many of us struggle with mental health conditions?

(I didn’t want to mess up the poll on physical ones and such.)

#personally i’ve got 15 years of depression under my belt #and longer for anxiety #deffo have ptsd from my one ex #thanks a lot S #used to have hella bad anger issues #i have like three different medications to balance me out #balance the moods I mean

[lolhex12]

real talk for a sec: in what godforsaken reality/dimension/parallel universe would Andrew's drugs be considered medication?

this kid, who's normally known to be eerily quiet most of the time (with occasional violent tendencies when provoked), is legally forced to take these "meds" and he starts talking randomly in book/movie lines, they make him look and act high when on them, give him extreme withdrawal symptoms, make him fall asleep in places and around people he would never fall asleep otherwise, make him think that pulling his knives to someone's neck as a (more believable) threat is somehow the correct way to handle a situation.

like?? if anything that medication made him even more violent.

what sane person would see him react that way think "yeah, those are the right meds for him"?

#correct me if i'm wrong but i'm pretty sure Andrew started pulling his knives so readily only after he started taking those drugs #before then he was more chill and calculated about his actions #that 'medication' had the opposite effect of what it was intended for and no one said anything?? #Bee definitely could've and should've done sth bc THAT'S NOT NORMAL #not from a court ordered drug which visibly didn't have the desired effect (<- make him less violent) #i'm reading a fic where it was implied that those court ordered meds were experimental drugs which are often high risk #so they were only tested on criminals and delinquents (Andrew) #and that coming off of them would leave long-lasting damage on mood & emotion balance #(<- which they only figured out after testing them on unwilling subjects) #and this somehow sounds more believable #the fic is: #Blame It on My Youth by youreyestheyglow #and imagine if riko sent those guys to harass them at eden's and the whole medication thing was fully premeditated and deliberate #<- this is also from a fic which i don't remember the name of sry #aftg #all for the game #andrew minyard #fanfic #fanfiction

[baezdylan]

okay jo question for you. should i watch grey’s anatomy (I think you’ve watched this right?)

yes, i have! i grew up watching it, but i was always more of a housegirl and that was my sister and mother's show, but it is very much an integral part of my identity still. <- this is precisely why i don't know what to tell you. it has too many seasons, but it was never much of a commitment to me because i just watched it whenever it was on TV and i have no idea how to binge stuff anyways. i think it's worth it? but i'm not the best person for this question ultimately.

#💌restless wind inside a letter box💌 #hailey tag #it's more drama and less medicine and even when it's balanced the 2 always felt like different dimensions to me while house was better at #blurring the lines between the two because well. they are blurred for house himself. anyways that's why i've always liked house better #like grey's is a drama that happens to be a medical drama while house is a medical drama through and through

[vileviale]

Having a holistic-centered family while loving science be like:

“Yeah I took tums cause my stomach felt bad”

“TUMS?! THAT HAS CHEMICALSSSS”

“It’s literally just flavored chalk we learned this in organic chemistry”

“WELL CHALK SHOULDNT BE IN YOUR BODY”

“It just neutralizes excess stomach acid that’s all it does”

“WELL WHY DO YOU HAVE EXCESS STOMACH ACID YOU SHOULD FIGURE THAT OUT FIRST”

“I’d love to know too but I haven’t figured that out yet so for now I’m sticking to tums”

“YOU’RE LIVER CHI DEFICIENT THATS YOUR PROBLEM”

“…(what does that even mean)”

#sage’s vile posts #Don’t get me wrong I love holistic medicine but at some point you gotta try the modern stuff #There can be a balance and because I learned what tums is I’m not as scared of it as I might’ve been before #Growing up like this made medicine and vaccines and hospitals feel Very Scary #And while I do agree the medical model can be overused tums isn’t gonna do shit to me except make my belly feel normal again #Idk why they made such a big deal out of it

[khlur]

it's always ppl from upper class backgrounds who lash out at u the most for .....also being upper class

#it's comical at this point #if i added a rock to a balancing scale for everytime a fellow rich person has made me feel like i am the root of all inequality in life #vs how many ppl frm less privileged backgrounds have done the same...this side of the scale would be empty #like ma'am stop projecting!! we're both fancy.... #oh and the number of WHITE people i know who cosplay as middle class #and it's like. class is always complicated bcs ur status can change so dramatically either bcs of a job or bcs of a medical emergency #and ur 'context clues' don't always betray ur class status #one of my friends has lived in the US and went to one of the fanciest fucking schools back home and a fancy pvt uni back home #but she was on scholarship #one of my other friends had 500 rupees in his bank acc but a macbook bcs it was his work laptop

[darkwood-sleddog]

Bro I did NOT just see a dog trainer compare using an e-collar to correct a dog for dog aggression behaviors to fucking Veterinary care. The “balanced” people are off their mf rockers.

#dogblr #dog training #like also I wouldn’t be pleased with having a dog having its teeth pulled #in the manner shown in the reel either #so uh. actually. both are bad. #but like one is medically necessary care #and the other is a TYPE of a multitude of ways of dealing with dog reactivity #one that is uh…not always scientifically sound too #like it is one thing to want to reinforce a recall with an e for me #but redirecting dog aggression seems like playing with fire. #your dog does not have to be friendly to other dogs #i swear dog influencers get a single shepherd and fall down these rabbit holes #it is SO frustrating #reminder I have balanced in quotes bc what these people actually are are usually very averse #so little balance across quadrents #there was more positive and comfortable ways to achieve both the vet care AND the dog training in that reel