#my sibling is basically going thru with my dad what i went thru almost a year ago to the date and it's kinda like an anniversary effect

[wouldnt-it-be-hilarious-if-i]

My therapist and I were talking today, and she reminded me that sometimes people leave to protect themselves from things we have no clue about. Sometimes, it has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them, and that's okay.

I've learned that one of my biggest challenges in life is learning to be okay with not being able to control everything. I am the worst with micromanaging. And that comes from something I learned during "domestication". I never had a lot of control over my situation, or even basic things.

I had a fear of pancakes for years. It sounds silly, but listen. When I was five, my dad and I would make these long trips out to North Carolina to go pick my siblings up from their mom's house.

And every trip, he would stop at McDonald's and grab breakfast. He hates ordering through the drive thru so he can be a bit impatient about it. I never liked fast food breakfasts. It's genuinely gross to me.

He would pull up to the menu and get very impatient and upset that I was taking so long to figure out what I wanted even though he knew I did not like anything on the breakfast menu.

As a result, he would order a specific meal that he knew I hated most. Hot cakes. And then he'd pick a drink he knew I didn't like. Even if I cried and tried very hard to choose faster, he'd do this.

I have a memory of him very angrily looking at me and slapping my hand for getting upset over the food he got me. He'd say, "I almost died for that food. You better eat every fucking bite and you better like it."

So, I'd sit there, feeling like the worst person in the world because my father who did multiple tours in Iraq and Afghanistan and Kuwait just wanted me to eat the pancakes he nearly died for me to have and I couldn't do it without crying because they were literally the dryest, most disgusting pancakes on the planet. I couldn't even wash it down with anything because he always got a drink that tasted worse to me than the pancakes.

I remember nearly choking once because I tried to eat it very fast so I didn't have to think about it. I just ended up crying and getting yelled at for it.

Most of my life, everything revolved around how my father was feeling and what benefitted him. By the time I was ten, I became obsessed with knowing the exact menu of every restaurant we went to so I could be ready to order. If I knew we would be traveling, I'd obsessively plan snacks for every hour of the trip to make sure that if he stopped, I knew what I was eating.

It sounds like he made me more prepared. But what it really set me up for was micromanaging everything in my life to avoid getting on his bad side. Everything was a personal affront to him. And if I did any little thing wrong, I was subject to verbal attacks on my character, even if he knew the outcome of the situation better than I did (such as with breakfast). This made me a perfectionist even as a child. I remember having perfect days where I would spend the entire day doing everything perfectly.

I remember clearly thinking as a child that if I just never said what I was thinking and always did everything by the book, nobody would ever leave me and my siblings would stop hating me.

I thought if I did everything I was told, if I never complained, if I brought them things, and always kept their feelings in mind, I would never be subjected to getting hit by them or abused by them or be told that by them that I was horrible, or undeserving, or the worst little sister in the world.

It was my goal every day to be perfect and to never get on anyone's bad side. And sure, it worked to some degree. My older sister never did hit me (though she did shove me down in the middle of the road and hold me down once, but that's another story). I was still very much abused in every way by some of my siblings. But the point is that I internalized the idea that at some point it would work and people would stop hurting me and leaving me, and now it's something that I actively have to work on rooting out of the way I love others.

The other shoe is not always going to drop. People are not always going to leave and if they do, I have to understand that it's not always because of something I did in particular. Things aren't always personal. Sometimes, it's a lot more than that.

Anyway, maybe this video will resonate for you too.

Also 😩 fuck, her accent is so cute. God, I love accents so fucking much. I need her to narrate every book ever for me.

[hexthesystem]

hey guys it would be cool if you could send me some asks to distract me from my really long and stressful day !! i'm home now relaxing and unwinding and i kinda just want to lie in bed for the rest of the night and not think about life so talk to me about your day or your summer or pretty much anything at all !

#it was an extraordinarily long day which involved my mom's boyfriend's surgery consult for his tumor #and also some conflict with my sibling and my dad which is really hard and i had to go to my dad's house to help my sibling pack zir stuff #i basically just dissociated the entire time and even though i'm feeling better now the degree to which i was out of it was really yikes #my sibling is basically going thru with my dad what i went thru almost a year ago to the date and it's kinda like an anniversary effect #(cont) kinda thing with the added trauma that comes in watching my sibling go thru this so yeah #anyways. it's been a long day and tomorrow will be better. #personal.txt #like if you read this giant rant

[halfrest]

* camila mendes, cis woman + she/her  | you know juliana “jules” paes, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, almost one year? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to god must be doing cocaine by charlotte lawrence like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole playlist curated specifically for making boxed mac and cheese at 3 am, the ‘are you still watching?’ screen on your ex’s netflix that you continue to use, and equating the one-time purchase of a zucchini to getting your life together thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is june 9th, so they’re a gemini, which is unsurprising, all things considered. 

pinterest.

not the eldest child, but the eldest daughter, juliana (who purely goes by jules) was born third followed by five younger siblings for a total of eight. it was a packed house, especially since both parents had their siblings nearby (they all lived in one borough of new york city or another). not a bad arrangement in terms of the company kept. her best friends were her cousins. her family was close enough. the only thing was that jules was everybody’s second mother. when it came to the final three kids, she raised them as much as her parents did. oldest brother was the obvious favorite, got married young (now nieces and nephews piled in), went off to become a doctor and second son went off the rails a bit, although he was doted over and eventually ended up working with dad at a very exciting insurance company. jules doesn’t remember much of her childhood, but she remembers changing diapers, making lunches, going to soccer games and driving a car full of children as soon as she got her license. that didn’t mean jules was exempt from other responsibility because her parents wanted to see her succeed too and since they had a doctor in the family, why not a lawyer or engineer. girl was expected to juggle everything with ease but ofc that’s impossible unless you have superpowers and i’m afraid to report that juliana did not.

anxiety tw / anxiety initially kept her on track, needing to get assignments done before due dates, having her schedule perfectly coordinated and it worked throughout high school, somewhat throughout college, although panic attacks became more prevalent and then into her first year at law school, it just didn’t work for her anymore. total breakdown. she chose herself over expectations she couldn’t meet, although that didn’t mean she was going to show up back home as a failure. jules withdrew from school and went out to irving where her best friend from the city (shoutout willa) had ended up at and lied to her family all about it. / end tw

it’s hard to know where to go in life when you swerve off the road in front of you and realize that you had been living for other people. basically jules doesn’t rly know what the fuck it means to live for yourself. the only thing she’s settled is that she will continue to lie to her family and say that she’s still at law school even though she hasn’t been in months. she tries not to think about that too much tho bc that would just lead to another spiral. has no direction, no plan, no money atm but in the same vein of things, jules has never been so relieved in her life. she’s managing. there are days when she just stays in her room (terrible roommate btw, never pays rents on time, has elaborate excuses, who will tolerate her?) in her dark just not wanting to do anything (depression<3) but don’t worry by friday night she’s shaking her ass at scuba to some nelly song. duality of (wo)man. 

other facts and things include being an avid fan of watching bad movies and leaving letterboxd reviews, giving apologies in the form of any item off the mcdonalds value menu, buying a ridiculous piece of clothing or whatever bc it’s what makes her happy at the moment (maybe a cow patterned bikini is what she truly needs to reach inner peace — a small price for some serotonin), alternating between periods of great productivity and well nothingness (meaning tons of unfinished projects and plans), ability to sleep anywhere, giving unsolicited opinions, coming up with the Perfect Plan which ends up not being perfect, talking too much and last but not least.......having fun.<3

holds ur hand if u got to the end of this. i might come up w some wc but we know who i am as a person so let’s cut thru the bs. if u would like a plot w jules 1st of all i love u 2nd of all jst message me and i’ll come up w a silly little plot for us. it’ll be beautiful n sexy. that also applies to my other characters. suddenly disappears in a cloud of smoke.

#irvingintro #anxiety tw #another silly little intro from a silly little girl #also my brain's flatlining so bad 2day so i'm sorry for being not the best member atm

[alanncs]

hello my loves , it’s dani aka the ari mascot on the main ! if u don’t already know me , i’m 21 , i’m from toronto which puts me in the est tz , & i have a unhealthy obsession w/ mgk 🥰 hehe , that’s me ! let’s b friends pls !! anyway , i’m so so excited to be back in wealthy with all u angels , i seriously missed everyone so much ! okay , so i’m gonna put some info bout my girl alanna under the cut ... i switched her up quite a bit so i’m xcited 2 be bringing her back ! pls give this a like if u wanna plot with me & i’ll come bother u !!  also pls feel free to msg me on discord for anything 🥰 𝒎𝒈𝒌'𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒆 .#1958

new york’s very own alanna d'alessio was spotted on broadway street , with a striking semblance to hailey bieber !  you may know them as @alanna or hitting the front page of tmz as youngest d’alessio heiress alanna caught trashing nyc four seasons hotel room . according to tmz , you just had your twenty - first birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being reticent , but also charming . things that would paint a better picture of you would be the lingering smell of smoke , anything pink  &  gold  jewelry  . ( cisfemale + she/her  ) * vc/career claim : lennon stella .

                   *  /   𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑠 .

full  name  :  alanna  marie  d’alessio  .

age :  twenty  -  one  .

hometown  :  new  york  city  .

zodiac  chart  : scorpio  sun  ,  aquarius  moon  ,  libra  rising  .

character  inspo  :  alyssa (  the  end  of  the  f*cking  world )  ,  marissa  cooper  (  the  o.c )  ,  hanna  marin  ( pretty  little  liars ) .

                  *  /   𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚   !!  (  tw  : kidnapping , ransom , drugs , ptsd  )

alanna was born heir to the d'alessio family which came with the billion dollar dynasty that her parents created .

her dad is an italian government official  but they grew up in ny basically bc her dad is an ambassador/representative for italy  &  her mother is a super model who also wanted to raise her kids here having lived here her whole life , and so they did . 

she had everything handed to her on a silver platter and her parents expected nothing but success from her because of how wealthy they were, they knew they would never have to worry about providing for her and her siblings , and so they spoiled her with whatever she asked for and more

but that came with a price, she was expected to do everything they wanted of her, go to an ivy league college, follow in one of her parent’s career footsteps

alanna did just that, she got amazing grades in high school and was head of many student clubs, organized prom, got almost perfect on sat’s and exams, and busted her ass to get into a good college despite the fact that her parents could’ve easily gotten her a spot if she didn’t do as well as she did

her life was going so well, she had the perfect boyfriend, perfect group of friends, was on her way to brown university in a couple of months, her parents and her couldn’t have been in a better spot with their daughter

the last thing they expected was for someone, a stranger, to get their hands on their daughter . 

a week after her 18th birthday , she’s walking to school on a monday morning and before she knows what’s happening , there’s something over her head and she’s being dragged into a van and taken from her life

the one thing that was expected, was the $10 million ransom she was held for

basically her dad had some shady dealings with the italian mob & didn’t pay his debts to them for some time - so they kidnapped alanna in retaliation for that

they kept her for 3 days before her parents were able to work with the authorities to get her returned and pay the people in full

surprisingly, she was returned alive but she had to spend two weeks in the hospital afterwards with injuries

once alanna was returned, she wasn’t the same

she told the police what happened to her , but only barely . she didn’t tell her parents or anyone else about what they did to her when she was gone . she didn’t speak , eat or sleep for two months after she got home

she spent the last few months of her high school in bed, she didn’t attend her graduation, deferred from going to brown in the fall, she didn’t see her friends anymore and she broke up with her boyfriend

the people who took her were never caught & she is still to this day completely terrified of going anywhere alone

she never walks anywhere alone 

it took her months to be able to get back to doing normal things again and being who she was before

to this day ,  alanna still struggles with the memories and the ptsd from what happened to her , but she doesn’t speak to anyone about it and she refuses to bring it up in any scenario

she also has a horrible relationship with her father now , having trouble forgiving him for what happened to her

some people know about it as obviously, being as famous as her family is, it was on the news at the time, and everyone she went to high school with knew what happened so sometimes it can be hard to avoid it ( possible connections ? hehe )

                                        *  /   𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚  !!  (  tw : drugs )

ok here comes the fun part hehe where i changed her up a bit !

alanna’s def still wild ! i’ve decided to tone it up a few notches this time around

so she’s completely intertwined in the nyc party scene , like , you’ll see her at any big club or party every weekend and tbh probably on a wednesday you’ll see her there too

she kinda acts like nicole & paris on the  simple life lmao like she’s always doing dumb shit 

she’s always under some kind of influence whether it be cocaine , weed , alcohol , shrooms , percs , she’s always gotta be on something 

after dropping out of school , she knew she wanted to pursue a career in the industry , growing up she was a child actress &  did some dancing 

she always had a knack for singing & songwriter , got her first guitar at the age of six & just never stopped

it was always like an escape from reality for her , just to have music playing and let her voice go free

so after making some money through instagram modelling & some professional 

she decided to pursue her music career this past year 

her vc is lennon stella cus i just feel like the songs fit alanna perfectly and lennon’s voice is magical so yah

she can be very selfish at times , to a fault . like u can call  her out for treating u like shit and she’s gonna be like , yeah sorry . don’t cry 2 much bout it . she really doesn’t care 

it takes her a LONG time to get close to people , so like if ur  someone she actually cares about and loves , ur gonna know it . and if ur not , ur gonna know that too lo l

she does not hide how she feels about things or ppl , she’ll tell u straight up like

istg this girl prob doesn’t have a filter she just says what pops into her head first

here’s her pinterest board for more of an idea !!!

if u read all this i seriously love u sorry its so long ohp

CONNECTIONS !!!!!!! I WANT . THEM ALL . PLS GIME ALL OF THEM .

i have tons of IDEAS here @alannaisms​  !  so pls look thru that & lemme kno if any would fit with  alanna & ur muse !  heh ok im done ily  guys pls come plot with me <3

#me : only an hour n a half late #pls plot w me <3 sry this is messy a f #wealthyhq:intro

[ovvnwords]

WANTED  CONNECTIONS  ....  hi  here  is  a  list  of  connections  i  would  really  really  want  for  my  gremlins.  inspo  from  all  places  ;  music,  movies,  pins,  etc.  i’ll  post  this  in  the  server  /  put  it  linked  in  my  pinned  post  but  for  best  results  send  me  a  dm  on  d/scord  bc  i  suck  at  things!  thank.

AVIVA  ROUX  .  podcaster  /  content  creator (  meg  t.  stallion )  !

GIRL  GANG  !  not  necessarily  ‘girls’  but  yk  what  i  mean.  very  close  knit,  always  hanging  out,  never  one  w/o  the  other,  etc.  i  like  the  idea  of  them  all  bein’  kind  of  different  ----  breakfast  club  style?  (  aviva  cld  be  the  *jughead  vc*  i’m  a  weirdo  for  example  ).  idk  i  think  it’d  be  neat  n  interesting  cld  even  have  group  chat  edits  n  things  on  the  dash  frankly  i  wld  just  like  for  her  to  have  some  friends!  inspo  ( one  ,  two )  .

PODCAST  PARTNER  ! the  shane  to  her  ryan,  so  to  speak.  the  show  talks  about  mysteries  and  internet  oddities  and  different  spooky  things ( they  borderline  on  true  crime,  but  they  don’t  necessarily  go  into  detail  about  cases  if  that  makes  sense  )  .  i  think  the  dynamic  of  a  outrageous  thinker  to  her  pessimistic  ideals.  inspo  ( one  ,  two ,  three  ,  this  tag  ) .

YOUNGER  SIBLING  !  i  like  to  imagine  they’re  pretty  close,  maybe  close  in  age?  i  don’t  rlly  have  much  to  say  about  this  one,  should  probably  put  it  on  the  main,  but  i  love  sibling  connects  so  !

HATEHSHIP  !  someone  she  jus  can’t  stand  yet  can’t  stay  away  from.  maybe  they’re  an  asshole  but  damn  cute,  or  another  reason.  inspo (  one  )  .

ROOMMATES  ! like  to  imagine  it’s  a  bunch  of  them  living  friends-style,  either  in  the  same  apartment  or  even  building  (  or  wld  that  be  jersey  shore  style.  idk  ) but  it  cld  be  fun  especially  if  they  don’t  get  along  all  that  well  but  the  rent  is  nice  and  they  make  it  work.

FIRST  CRUSH  ! eeeeeeeeeeeee  they  cld’ve  met  when  they  were  children  and  had  one  of  those  one  day  long  things  in  elementary  school  where  they  broke  up  bc  they  didn’t  share  crayons  or  something  JSDVKJDFVKJV  they  could’ve  remained  friends,  been  neighbors,  had  crushes  or  a  fling  in  high  school  .

EX  SQUAD  !  i  like  the  idea  of  aviva  having  a  solid  friend  group  in  high  school  that  all  aren’t  good  terms  with  each  other  for  whatever  reason  ..  don’t  have  to  figure  it  out  asap  i  just  love  the  tension  thts  all.

BEST  FRIEND  /  RIDE  OR  DIE  ! someone  who  has  her  back  and  vice  versa.  supports  each  other  thru  thick  and  thin,  gives  each  other  the  whack  on  the  head  they  need  every  once  in  a  while.  inspo  (  one,  two )  .

FLING  /  FWB  /  HOOK  UPS  ! kind  of  self  explanatory.  aviva  doesn’t  really  have  a  preference,  if  she’s  attracted  to  u  she’s  attracted  to  you,  has  her  fun  but  s*x  isn’t  really  her  idea  of  a  fun  thing  to  do  24  /  7  .  like  to  imagine  she  mostly  goes  for  women  ( hey  ladies  .... )  !

EX  PARTNER  ! i  like  the  idea  of  them  being  super  cute  n  lovey  dovey  in  hs  but  then  maybe  one  of  them  went  off  to  college?  they  had  a  falling  out?  ended  on  not  so  great  terms?  the  possibilities  are  endless  to  be  frank!

RIVAL  /  ENEMY  /  SOMEONE  SHE  JUST  CAN’T  STAND  !  ig  this  could  be  more  chemsitry  based  but  they  just  avidly  dislike  each  other  for  one  reason  or  another?  can’t  stand  each  other?  petty  tweets  /  subtweets  etc  etc  .  could  be  fun  n  juicy.

FRIENDS  !  self  explanatory.

DAWSON  ELLIS .  unemployed  /  formal  journalist ( chris  pine  )  !

FRIENDS  !  self  explanatory.    he’s  40,  so  rlly  he  just  kinda  vibing.

RIVALS  /  ENEMIES  !  i  like  the  idea  of  just  hating  each  other  since  high  school  and  just  have  this  burning  hatred  for  each  other  even  after  all  this  time  …  chuckles.  inspo  (  one  )  .

PEOPLE  HE  TAKES  UNDER  HIS  WING  !  idk  what  this  could  entail  maybe  he  jus  likes  one  of  u  youngins  …  doesn’t  want  to  see  u  in  the  same  path  he  went  down,  tries  to  steer  u  straight  a  little  bit.  stuff  like  that.  very  dad  like  as  if  he  has  a  maternal  bone  in  his  body.

EX FIANCE ! heheh .. i plan on making this a wc possibly, but i like the idea of someone who he dated for a long period of time after he graduated and left irving, eventually who he proposed two. maybe his addiction could have caused a strain, maybe it was because he was traveling so much, or some other reason but then they broke it off. they came back to irving for one reason or another, he came back bc he’s sober now, there’s tension. kind of based on exile by taylor swift + bon iver .

EMPLOYER  !  this  man  needs  a  job.  so  ........    hands  on  hips  who  is  hiring.

FRIENDS  FROM  HIGH  SCHOOL  !  if  anyone  grew  up  in  irving  /  or  was  in  hs  around  the  time  he  was,  it  could  be  quite  fun  to  reconnect.  old  friends  yadda  yadda  yadda.  

SOMEONE  WHO  KNOWS  HIM  ONLY  FROM  HIS  SISTER  !  smiles  at  jean  so  wide  .....  yes  dawson  is  leonora’s  annoying  lil  brother.  he’s  very  elusive  (  or  so  he  thinks  …  )  so  .  we  cld  do  something  with  that  perhaps.

ELIJAH  PALERMO .  little  league  coach  /  student  (  lukas  gage  )  !

THE  LAST  PALERMO  SIBLING  !  yes  …  this  is  on  the  main  but  i  imagine  elijah  and  them  to  be  very  close  and  it’d  be  fun!  sorry  for  the  grey  hairs  though.

BEST  FRIEND  !  this  is  someone  elijah  trusts  more  than  jus  abt  anybody  ..  including  his  siblings  maybe.  they’re  always  together,  never  apart,  besties  forever.  causing  chaos  and  mayhem.  probably  co-parent  georgia.  knows  each  others  fast  food  orders,  encouraging  their  bad  behaviors  …  

EXES  !  i  like  to  imagine  elijah  is  the  type  to  rush  into  a  relationship  then  have  it  all  turn  to  shit.  could  be  on  good  terms,  bad  term,  neutral.  

EX  FRIENDS  !  along  the  same  vein,  maybe  they  had  a  falling  out?  one  of  them  just  didn’t  want  to  be  friends  anymore?  they  just  stopped  talking?  give  me  angst  thank  u.

FRIENDS  !  hes  so  talkative  and  annoying  please  give  him  more  friends  …  my  personal  favorites  are  old  couple  bickering  /  complete  opposites  /  good  or  bad  influences  /  new  age  “thembo  summit”  where  there’s  no  got  damn  thought  in  anyones  head  just  vibes.

FLIRTATIONSHIP  !  they  flirt  …  they  give  each  other  eyes.  and  yet?  nothing.  wtf.

HOOK  UPS  /  FWBS  !  they’re  hot.  and  he  has  eyes.  it’s  basic  math.  

RIVAL  /  ENEMY  !  i  like  to  imagine  elijah  didn’t  mean  to  be  rude  /  or  did  something  bad  to  this  person  but  he  did,  even  accidentally,  but  now  they  hate  him.  or  even  mutual  hatred  <3  constant  subtweets  n  petty  comments  in  public  …

PARTY  BUDDIES  !  theyre  always  together  at  parties  …  self  explanatory.  

PARENT  OF  KIDS  HE  COACHES  !  self-explanatory.

CLASSMATES  !  must  go  to  community  college,  but  otherwise  self-explanatory.  

WILL  THEY  /  WON’T  THEY  !  i  love  this  kinda  shit  ..  theyre  constantly  acting  like  a  couple  but  also  aren’t  one.  everyone  is  dying  to  know  like  …...  so  isn’t  eli  <3

HATEHSHIP  !  they  hate  each  other  .  but  also  f*ck.  then  hate  each  other  again.

ROOMMATES  !  pls  give  him  a  roommate  this  fucker  can’t  function  by  himself.

KALANI  MADDEN  .  student  (  auli’i  cravalho  )  !

PEOPLE  SHE  TEACHES  ASL  !  this  is  my  favorite.  pls  pls  pls.  she  uses  asl  as  her  primary  source  of  communication,  she’s  most  comfortable  with  it  due  to  her  hearing,  but  many  people  don’t  know  it  so  pls  let  her  teach  ur  muse  i’d  love  it  so  much.

FRIENDS  /  BEST  FRIENDS  !  i’d  love  to  have  a  lil  squad  ..  lil  baby  squad  or  even  just  a  best  friend  who  they’re  always  sharing  tiktoks  over  videos  and  having  sleepovers  and  going  to  wendys  at  1  am  bc  they’re  bored.  

RIVALS  /  ENEMIES  !  people  who  just  don’t  fuckin  like  her  bc  she’s  annoying  like  i  understand.

PEOPLE  WHO  DON’T  TAKE  HER  SHIT  /  HATE  HER  DRAMATICS  !  pls  hate  her.  punt  her  to  the  moon.  

PEOPLE  SHE  SPOILS  WITH  HER  PARENTS  MONEY  !  pls  let  her  sugar  mama  u.  she  will  buy  u  legit  anything  if  ur  nice  to  her.  

FLIRTATIONSHIP  !  this  wld  be  a  bit  cute  ..  almost  a  will  they  won’t  they  vibe.  they  flirt.  they  smile.  they  make  googley  eyes.  they  subtweet  each  other.  it’s  messy  and  cute.  

BAD  INFLUENCES  /  GOOD  INFLUENCES  !  people  who  lead  her  either  down  a  really  good  or  really  bad  path.  

PEOPLE  SHE  KNOWS  BC  OF  HER  BROTHER  !  self-explanatory  but  also  kind  of  need  him  for  this  so  .  hehe  .

HER  BROTHER  !  on  the  main,  but  pls  bring  this  kid  her  parent  (  almost  )  .

PEOPLE  SHE  KNEW  BACK  IN  NYC  !  self-explanatory.  her  family  is  very  wealthy,  famous  in  the  social  scene.

#ooc. #wipes sweat.

[gloves94]

Sunburn [Prince Zuko] 33

Warnings:   Rating: PG-13   Pairings: Zuko/OC   Summary:   “You have everything you’ve always wanted.” “No.” He said softly. “Not everything…”  His golden eyes looked at her with a melting intensity she had never witnessed before. “I guess not.” She responded with glassy eyes as tears welled up threatening to break the dam of her eyes.

Sunburn Chapter M A S T E R L I S T

My fanfiction M A S T E R L I S T

“MAI?!” The girl hissed out angrily as she looked at her brother, her eyes narrowed into angry slits that almost seemed comical at her emotional trigger.

“You know her?” He asked with a goofy smile on his face.

She face-palmed and sank to her feet sliding against the wall with an annoyed expression on her face. She didn’t even know where to begin when in regard to her ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. The world was indeed a very, very small place.

“So- Mai is Zuko’s ex-girlfriend from before he dated you who he rebounded with when he returned to the Mainland?”  He repeated in disbelief.

“Yes,” The other croaked beyond irritated.

“Great! Now she’ll never go out with me!” The other threw his hands up in the air in momentary frustration and sighed as he also slid down the temple’s wall to sit next to his sister. Both of their eyes focused on the night landscape before them.

“And him? Does the idiot know?” He looked at her seriously.

She was quiet for a moment. Her silence answering his question.

“And you’re not going to tell him? That’s not like you. What was that thing that grandpa would always say about plum blossoms?”

“Our lives, too, are fleeting," She quoted the phrase which was more than familiar to her. “I’ve got bigger things to worry about it,” She responded after a moment biting on her thumb lightly her mind elsewhere.

“Like that?” He let out a little snort. “Cause everything you’re going thru I’mgoing thru as well. You know? Mom, Dad, the colonies, defeating the Fire Lord and executing my vicious plans of vengeance-“

“God! Mecha!” She spoke sharply with a sudden snap. “You don’t get it. I’m not like you. I’m a spirit now and I don’t know what that means!”

Despite her frustrated tone he couldn’t help but let out a humorous huff. It was hard for him to take his sister seriously after witnessing a lifetime of childish tantrums.

“Aren’t spirits supposed to be kind, docile and selfless? Basically, everything that you’re not?” He chuckled a little teasing her. She shot him a side glare in return and let out an exhausted sigh pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration.

“I have a terrible feeling about this. About the comet. This ill feeling, it won’t let me sleep.” She confessed for the first time. “I saw things when I went to the Sun Warrior Island. The dragons showed me visions…”

She flashed back to the unspoken visions of the comet. The day in which the skies would turn the color of blood and ash would rain. It wasn’t the astronomical event that made her feel uneasy. It was the frightful feeling that crawled into her stomach that came with the vision.

“Sozin’s comet. It’s a part of me.” She said softly in a breath.

“But you’re only human.”

“Yes,” she nodded he was correct. “But it’s part of the otherpart of me. The Sun. I canfeelit.”

Mecha gazed at his sister with genuine concern. He wished he knew what to say. That he had a joke or comment that would lighten her up or that could somehow ease her burden. He gave her shoulder a squeeze and a sympathetic smile. The two siblings stayed up talking all night. It’s not like she planned on sleeping either way.

“I still have much to learn about spirituality…” She trailed off. “Mecha, I feel like I’m running out of time,” she professed her voice breaking. The knots in her back further twisting due to stress.

Xxx

The sunrise came with the promise of a new day. Skies were clear and golden rays of light warmed the upper courtyard where the siblings of Yu Dao trained both their minds and bodies.

“Again!” She barked instructing him to firebend at her with all of her might. She was leaning on her knees breathing hard, pushing herself to her physical limits.

“Tsai, it’s sunrise. We should stop, maybe take a break. Doze off for a few?” Mecha said wiping some sweat off his furrowed brow. It was then that a loud humming filled the air. Doves and birds flocked away from the rumbling and the siblings stopped and ran to the edge of the courtyard just to witness a handful of Fire Nation air zeppelins ready to attack.

The building shook violently making the girl lose her balance and lean on her brother.

The Resistance who were sleeping in the level below were shaken awake by the violent explosion.

Bombs were hurled through the air the scent of powder filled the air as it quickly became clouded with dark soot.

Aang wasted no time in diving inside of the temple's chamber and airbending the massive doors shut protecting everybody that inside. Bombs resounded exploding outside rocking the foundation of the temple to its core.

“Where are Tsai and Mecha?” Aang looked around swiftly when he noticed the two empty sleeping rolls on the ground.

There was no time to look. The ceiling had already begun to crack. It only took another bomb for a piece of it to be dislodged and collapse.

Upstairs the siblings looked at the fleet in horror.

“I’d bet anything the Princess is inside one of those!” Mecha growled out, his fists clenched at the sides in fury. He gave a handful of steps back his eyes reflecting nothing but hatred as he once again became that dark being that to his sister was a stranger. “Go downstairs Tsai! You have to warn others!”

She was about to protest that they probably didn’t need a warning when he sprinted forward and blindly leapt to the air ship.

Tsai shouted after him stunned as she almost stumbled over the ledge. That reckless idiot!

She ran down the stairs to the first level of the courtyard dodging the fiery shards of bombs and rubble that seemed to collapse all around her. She stood before the abyss for a moment gazing down in hesitation and fear before leaping into the cloudy mist below. The wind whipped her hair and stung her body before she roughly and very ungracefully landed on her stomach a top of a massive airship.

She groaned as she painfully struggled to her feet. Her eyes adjusting to the thick mist until she saw an array of flames being blasted nearby.

“You never listen!” Her brother shouted loudly over the wind as he fought off several Fire Nation soldiers.

She looked up and saw a handful of soldiers rapidly climbing to the top of the airship. She looked from side to side and realized she was cornered. She opened her fingers and stretched them a little as she braced herself for what was coming.

She instinctively dodged a fire blast that was directed her way and ran towards a soldier lowering her body she quickly elbowed his jaw up and ducked dodging another blast and kicking the same soldier’s legs from underneath making him slip off the zeppelin and fall into the misty abyss below. She looked down and swallowed thickly at the thought of her own demise.

There was no time for that. She turned to see a fistful of flames coming her way and using the momentum of the attack stepped behind the attacker and simply lead him off the airship. It was then that she heard a loud thud and turned to see Zuko land on the roof of the zeppelin a couple of feet away from her.

Their confused expressions mirroring each other as they said each other’s names out loud.

“What are you doing here?” He asked blasting a ball of fire at an attacking soldier that stood behind the girl. He seemed to be the last one. Her eyes remained focused on him. “What are youdoing here?”

The two hadn't spoken since he had left to the Boiling Rock to save her brother and Sokka’s father and there was still that lingering tension in the air between them. One that only seemed to get heavier and more unbearably as time progressed.

“I’m sick of running. Today is the day I face Azula.” He said determinedly.

Last time he said that everything went to shit back in Ba Sing Se. This time she wouldn’t allow him to face Azula alone.

“You’re not the only one that’s excited to see her.” A cocky smirk stretched across her features as she slapped her fist into her other palm.

“A little help here?!” A third voice interrupted. Mecha was aboard the other Royal Airship fighting off the soldier’s that were unstoppably blasting towards Appa who was flying in circles in an attempt to escape.

“That’s Azula’s ship.” She looked at the large leap she would have to do if she wanted to reach the bottom part metal crate where her brother was struggling to fight about a dozen of soldiers.

He was too far; she wasn’t physically strong enough to make that kind of leap. She looked at her brother with heavy frustration from across the other zeppelin.

“I’m never going to make it!” Her eyebrows knotted in worry as she looked up at the airship in the near distance.

“You will,” Zuko spoke in a determined tone.

The wind was strong whipping both of their hairs around. He bent his knees slightly and interviewed his fingers together stretching his palms out so she could step on them.

She looked at him hard and for a moment and for a moment forgot they were presently standing a top of an air carrier in the middle of a chaotic battle. He looked different. More grown somehow. More secure. Something had definitely shifted in him since he arrived at the camp.

“Trust me.”

She looked between his hands to the large leap she would have to do to reach her brother.

Last time had trusted him, well things went to shit back in Ba Sing Se. With a shaky breath and a hesitant nod, she ran towards him and stepped on his hands. He lifted her up with a strong push and she leapt across from one air ship to the other barely managing to grasp the lower metal railing of the crate. She caught her breath and looked up to see her brother struggling.

“’Bout time!” He said before kneeing a soldier who was bent over in pain. She climbed to the crate’s railing and alongside her brother fought the soldier’s off until only the two stood together back to back. Both catching their ragged breaths.

“Zuko should be up with Azula right now,” Tsai said her eyes darting to look for the stairs that lead to the roof of the air ship.

“Come on! There’s no time to waste!” Mecha said ready to spring back into action.

Suddenly there was an explosion which violently shook the airship. Both siblings gripped onto the metal railings tightly.

“What was that?”

They looked up to see the Fire Nation’s prince rapidly falling through the air whooshing past them. A look of pure fear on his face as he fell.

Mecha was barely able to hold his sister back as she let out a horrifying soul splitting scream.

It all happened so fast Appa rapidly zoomed past them and dove towards the falling prince catching him midair in his saddle where Katara yanked him to safety.

Mecha’s grip loosened around his sister slightly. Tsai deflated for a moment. Taking a couple of rapid breaths. In disbelief at what had almost happened.

“That bitch!”She blasted gazing up to the roof. Maybe she was unable to see her, but she knew Azula was still on the ship. Appa approached them nearing the crate. With an eerily calm poise and lips drawn into a thin line she raised the back of her foot and pulled a hidden blade from the sole of her shoe. It was the same one that Azula had stabbed her with back in the Earth Kingdom.

“You’ve had a knife with you all along?” Mecha looked at her astounded. “All this time I thought you were completely defenseless!”

“Bold of you to assume that brother.” She said obtusely looking up at one of the propellers which made the airship stay afloat.

“Let’s go!” He said as he hopped down to Appa’s saddle. She quickly jammed the knife in the propeller and jumped down to the flying bison which zoomed away quickly.

Zuko let out a rough groan as he was tackled into a brass embrace. He was taken aback at the bold gesture.

‘Don’t ever do anything like that again!’She wanted to scream at him. To tell him off for almost falling to his death. For having given her the scare of a lifetime. However, the only thing she could manage was a soft exhale at the relief of having him in her arms again.

The zeppelin's propeller snapped due to the self-inflicted force and exploded damaging the bottom of the zeppelin tilting it to the side making Azula slide across the roof and fall to her dissolution.

All eyes were on her as she fell through the clouds her arms and legs flailing as she did. The prince and the girl from the colonies still in each other’s arms in a more loose embrace. Yet both still tense. She fisted his sleeve tightly watching the certain fate of the antagonist come to be fulfilled.

Zuko stared at Azula, unsure how he should feel as he rasped, "She's...not gonna make it."

Eyes wide Tsai didn't notice she had a tight grip she had on his arm. Her eyes also glued to the falling girl. A mixture of emotions stirring in her. She halted her breath petrified at what she was witnessing.

The group watched as blue fire erupted from Azula's feet, the force propelling her back towards the nearby cliff. She back flipped through the air and slammed into the rocky cliff's side. Her hair coming undone as she used her golden hair pin to dig into the rocks. Her hair fell loosely around her moving wildly with the wind. She slid to a stop and looked towards them, a satisfied smirk on her lips. The zeppelin lowered and lowered until it collapsed to the ground and eventually exploded.

"Of course, she did." Zuko sighed, looking away.

Tsai's body relaxed a little as she let out an exhausted breath, she didn’t realize she was still holding on to him. All of the sudden she felt hyper self-conscious at the bold display of affection she pulled away from him awkwardly her face burning in embarrassment from the many witnessing eyes. She turned away and leaned back against the saddle next to her brother.

"D-Don't be so reckless next time." She grumbled under her breath crossing her arms over her chest a lazy hand nervously toying with the sunstone necklace as she attempted to play it cool.

His body language mirrored hers as he let out an exhausted sigh and relaxed back into the saddle. No one would notice but the slightest of smiles grew on his face at the girl's concerned expression.

Toph winced at the familiar tension that suddenly flooded the air. God sometimes she just wanted to get both of their stupid faces and smash their heads together just so they could get it over with this stupid tension already.

Suki looked at the couple before her with a bewildered expression before turning to Sokka with a puzzling look. She could also feel that awkward emotion lingering in the air.

It was then that the Fire Nation siblings realized there was a new person amongst them. A pretty girl with short brown hair and dark azure eyes sitting next to Sokka

“Oh!” She said surprised suddenly feeling the exhaustion from having been up all night suddenly consume her. “Tsai, Sun Spirit, Former Fire Nation” She introduced herself. “This is my brother.”  

xxx

They flew for several hours until it was past sundown. Until reaching a small island composed of volcanic black rocks and a mossy green hill. Where they set up camp for the night.

Aang, Toph, Mecha and Katara hopped off Appa when they landed ready to set up camp. Sokka helped Suki off.

"Uh, after you," Zuko said awkwardly as he danced around the edge of Appa's saddle holding the back of his neck and making space, so she'd walk past him. "Yeah, thanks," She said back just as awkwardly egg shelling around him. It had gotten to the point in which neither knew how to act around the other anymore. Tsai almost preferred it back when they were fighting over anything. Even that was better than this. She jumped off and loitered by Appa's side pretending to suddenly have an interest in geology when she looked at the nearby volcanic rocks.

"I never thanked you for bringing my brother back." She said shifting on her feet with that lingering tension in the air.

"Yeah," The other said his behavior mirroring hers. "Lucky we found him."

She starred at him intently for a moment. Pupils blown wide as she chuckled nervously unsure of how to proceed.

"Yeah," She repeated his words. "Thanks buddy," she drawled out painfully, awkwardly before lightly hitting his arm. He looked at her with a confused expression. Did she just call him buddy?

Sokka and Suki watched from a distance wincing at what they had just witnessed as they unpacked and set up their tents.

"That looks… painful," Suki grimaced at the cloud of tension that seemed to follow those too. "Tell me about it. You're lucky you didn't see them after their breakup." Sokka rolled his eyes at the memory of both teenagers gloomily sulking. They both saw Zuko go and set up his tent while the girl lingered around the saddle gathering her few belongings ready to set up. "Wait- they were a thing? Like actually?" Suki pressed wanting to know more of the camp gossip. “I mean- that hug earlier. It looked intense.”

"I know." Sokka responded in the same disbelieving tone as he tied his tent to the ground.

"They seem so… different?" Suki asked noting the contrast between the girl who was currently trying to set up her tent with her brother and was miserably failing at it. All of it falling on top of her while her sibling simply shook his head.

"Zuko is cool," Sokka said after a while. "You know- after he turned good and all that. Tsai's always been a dork. Luckily, she's also changed for good. I think you'd like her."

"A little help?" The red head said to her brother as she struggled to pitch their tent.

xxx

"Wow, camping." Aang mused idly in amusement as everyone began to finish their dinner. He laughed slightly and shook his head, "It really seems like old times again, doesn't it?"

"If you really want it to feel like old times," Zuko drawled blandly as he broke a piece of bread in half and gestured with one half vaguely, a small smirk tugging at his mouth, "I could, uhh...chase you around a while and try to capture you."

Everyone laughed in response. The Fire Nationers were happy to finally be accepted into the group. Aang was right. It was strangely nostalgic to be sitting in a circle like this in an island in the middle of nowhere. It reminded Tsai a little about the days she had spent as a runaway camping with Iroh and Zuko in caverns and the woods.

"Ha. Ha." Katara grumbled darkly from where she was sitting beside across the fire from the Fire Nationers. She did not find it humorous in the least. Her eyes glowered at the flames in the middle.

Still laughing slightly, Sokka raised his cup with a wide grin, "To Zuko and Tsai who knew after all those times they tried to snuff us out, today, they'd be our heroes." Sokka paused for a moment. “And Mecha,” He added awkwardly. “You didn’t chase us around, but still- another hero!”

Toph, Aang, Sokka and Suki all raised their cups and chorused, "Here, here!" Happy for the Fire Nation trio that had helped them escape Princess Azula’s wrath and the zeppelin hoards.

Aang and Toph who were sitting on either side of the scarred prince nudged him playfully with their elbows. Broad grins playing on their faces.

“I still can’t believe you blew up a zeppelin!” Sokka said excitedly turning his attention to the red head that was sitting across from him and Suki. She smiled sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck.

“That was pretty lit.” Mecha elbowed her proud of his younger sister.

The Fire Nationers all smiled warmly at the praises from the group.

"I'm touched.” Zuko said. “I don't deserve this," he said addressing everyone.

Mecha was about to make a joke but went silent when he heard a bitter tone speak up in the group. He looked at the waterbender who wore a sour expression on her face oddly.

"Yeah, no kidding." Katara muttered sarcastically, her eyes flickering up to glare at the former Fire Nationers. The group stared at her in surprise.

Mecha didn’t know how to whisper but he still tried. “Hey, what’s her deal?” He asked his sister lowly which was still pretty audible to the rest of the group.

"Something the matter Katara?" The red head who was sitting in between Aang and her brother glowered from across the campsite. Her blood pressure instantly going from zero to a hundred.

Katara continued to glare with menace.

"Don't tell me you two are going to go at it again," Toph shook her head and rested her head on her palms.  Aang lowered his chopsticks and leaned back already sensing a fight about to break out between the clashing girls.

"We've had enough fighting for today. Can we just have an evening of peace?" Aang sighed tiredly as his eyes bounced back from blue to red across the fire pit.

"Fighting?" Sokka asked cluelessly his eyes also darting from one girl to the other as angry sparks flying between their eyes.

"Tsai almost bit my arm off yesterday! You'd think she was some kind of animal or something!" Katara accused pointing at her bandaged shoulder.

"Rich of you to play the victim Katara. Since youstarted it and pulled my hair!"  The other shot back just as angrily touching her wavy hair.

The gang looked between the two girls and saw the small marks, bandages and scratches that covered random parts of their bodies and finally put two and two together. Both girls growled at each other, fists clenched at the sides before standing up in threatening stances. For a moment it really did look like they were going to go at it again but instead marched away in opposite directions.

"What's up with them?" Sokka questioned, quirking a brow at his sister's retreating form and back to the red heads.

“Is dinner always this eventful?” The young man from Yu Dao laughed nervously.

Zuko stood up and looked between the two retreating figures. He knew that Tsai and Katara had a strong distaste for each other. Hell, she had it for him too. He knew that Katara had some type of grudge or prejudiced towards Fire Nationers. She partook in a discrimination that was very obvious. She had made it the most obvious when she faked that note to try and get the two of them kicked off the camp.

Without another word he followed after Katara.

Katara stood a distance away by the island's ledge gazing at the dark ocean before her. She heard soft footsteps and her eyes narrowed in surprise, frown crossing her face when she saw Zuko standing behind her.

"This isn't fair." Zuko stated firmly, throwing his arms out to the side slightly in frustration, "What is with you? Everyone else seems to trust us now. We're all a team."

"Oh, everyone trusts you now?" Katara turned around and snapped at him. She put her hand on her chest and spat, "I trusted you first. Remember? Back in Ba Sing Se?" She swung her arm out and jabbed a finger at the ocean. "I trusted Tsai in the Northern Water Tribe and what happened? You bothturned and betrayed us." She flung her arms out for emphasis as Zuko looked down guiltily, "Betrayed all of us."

"She didn't betray you Katara and you know that. I admit that I did and for that I am sorry, but I've changed."

Katara remained silent and turned away from him.

Zuko looked up and sighed a little before asking, "What can we do to make it up to you?"

"You really want to know?" Katara demanded as she walked towards him, "Hmm, maybe you could re-conquer Ba Sing Se in the name of the Earth King. Or," She leaned closer to him and Zuko stepped back, staring at her in speechless silence, "I know! You could bring my mother back!"

Xxx

The girl from the colonies sat near a rocky cliff on the side of the island, the toyed with a small volcanic rock in her hand as her eyes bored into the horizon. She found herself doing more than often now a days. Suddenly she heard a pair of soft footsteps behind.

“I don’t want to talk about it Mecha!” Tsai shouted over her shoulder as she rose to her feet from the edge of the landscape returning to the greenery.

“Fine, fine,” The boy raised up his hands defensively. “I don’t meddle with women’s issues.” He shook his head in a no. “I know better.”

“This goes beyond a girly quarrel. It’s actually very severe. Katara is a xenophobe.” She explained.

“A what?” He retorted confused thinking she had just spit out a magic spell or something. “A xenophobe, she’s prejudiced against Fire Nationer’s. Blames us for her mother’s death for the war- Not that I blame her of course but- Believe me when I tell you I’ve tried to make peace with her, but she won’t budge.” She sighed and dropped her arms to her sides.

“Why don’t you just try and talk to her?” He suggested “Aren’t you all for diplomacy and all that?” A coy smirk on his features at the fact he had cleverly manipulated his sister into talking about the issue. “Believe me. I’ve tried. We’re past the point of talking or diplomacy.” She turned to the ocean and angrily threw the rock she had been holding to it only for it to vanish in the darkness ahead.

“Yeah? Zuko went to talk to her.”

“Really?” She turned to face him her tone a little louder than she would’ve wanted. Her attention shifting much too fast.

“You know earlier I really thought you were going to throw yourself after him.” He said crossing his arms over his chest. A more serious expression on his features.

“I still don’t like the prick and as your brother I think you can do better.” He added. “But if you care so much for him and he’s down to bring down his evil dad and sister then- I’m willing to give him a second chance.” She turned away flustered by the topic.

“Our lives, too, are fleeting,"He sang lightly as he quoted their grandfather. “If today wasn’t evidence enough of that.” He added stepping next to her as they both looked into the distance.

Tsai winced slightly at the memory of Zuko falling into the misty abyss. The memory still fresh in her mind. She could still remember the look of horror on his face and the gut wrenching feeling she felt at the horrifying sight.

“I already told you I’ve got more pressing matters to deal with. Besides,” she let out a weak scoff. “Those days are over.”

“He’s got to be blind or something. You too. Specially if the two of you can’t see how much you two obviouslystill care about the other.”

Tsai exhaled a frustrated sigh through her nostrils, lips pressed into a serious expression as she stood in denial arms now crossed over her chest. She didn’t want to think or even acknowledge the ghastly feeling that had come over her when she saw him fall off the aircraft. For a moment there she really thought that she had lost him. The thought- the awful thought… She sighed and lowered her head, her hand mindlessly playing with the sun stone necklace a nervous habit she had formed.

“Even I can see it. You two have to talk.” A third voice said.

“TOPH!”She jumped to her feet instantly unnerved hairs standing up in the back of her head.

“AH!”He jumped to the side taken aback by her stealth. “Where did you come from?!”

“Why-“ Tsai breathed through her nostrils she gritted teeth feeling invaded when having such a private conversation. “-Were you eavesdropping?”

Toph stood cooly before the siblings. Her arms crossed over her chest as she glowered at them with an easy smirk.

“Hotman over here said the world ‘blind’. Naturally I thought you two were talking about me.”

The red head face palmed and dragged her face in frustration.

“Toph,” Mecha began. “Is my sister not in love with the stupid jerk prince?” He asked bluntly.

“Hey!” She protested face turning a darker shade of red from the embarrassment. Why was thisaspect of her life up for discussion like this?

“It’s so obvious,” Toph rolled her light eyes. “There’s so much tension between you two I bet I could bend right through it!” She said doing a chop to the midair. “Don’t even get me started on your heartbeat. It’s pathetic.”

Tsai stretched out her hands in a menacing motion to strangle the younger girl. Her eyes wide, face even redder at having been exposed in such a blunt way.

“You two make me nauseous.” Toph made a gagging motion as she held on to her stomach. “Why don’t you just tell him how you feel, make up, make out and get it over with?” She suggested.

“…Make out?” Mecha said slowly the edge of his eyes slightly twitching with annoyance a familiar tick they had both inherited from their mother. His protective older brother side showing.

“Thanks guys,” She somehow managed to say. She stood up a little straighter and relaxed her shoulders. “I just don’t see the point. I’m serious. We have bigger things in our plates. What am I going to do about my spiritual identity crisis? Mecha our family? The colonies? The Fire Lord-“

“Sound like avoidance to me,” Toph sniggered viciously. Her brother glared at her with and knowing arched eyebrow. “As your brother and best friend, I think you should do it. Life is too short.”

“Yeah. Just get it over with,” Toph said giving the girl a painful punch behind "What's the worst that can happen?" Tsai looked over and rubbed her arm where Toph had hit her sulking as she walked back to the camp. How could a conversation about her issues with Katara had turned into this?

“Are you sure about this?” The young man that was at least twice Toph’s height asked looking down with a questioning expression. “Nope,” She responded popping the syllables. “But it sure is fun!”

Xxx

Tsai in took and exhaled a large breath of air as she paced nervously outside of Zuko’s tent.

“Yeah… So… I know I broke up with you and I know this sounds even crazier, but I kind of lov- No, no, he’s going to think I’m a lunatic!” She lightly tugged at her hair in frustration. “Why is this so hard?!” She cried out to no one in particular.

‘OK. Just suck it up. And say it. Word vomit. It’s just a fact. Just get it out of the way.’ She mentally prepped herself doing a little dance outside the tent. ‘Here goes nothing…’ She swallowed nervously before peering inside of the tent.

Her expression instantly dropping in a cringy grimace.

Suki was sitting sprawled out on a bed roll. Her back to the entrance of the tent and she looked over her shoulder holding a seductive pose.

Wrong tent.

Suki jumped and sat up more properly beyond embarrassed.

“Uh- I thought this was Zuko’s tent,” She explained nervously about to run for the hills and hide her head under a rock or something.

“Oh,” Suki said. “I just saw him, he went into Sokka’s tent. I didn’t know you two were thatserious.”

She let out a little hum and nodded awkwardly. Maybe- maybe talking to an actual girl her age would help. Afterall Mecha just did things without much thought and as wise as Toph was the younger girl could be rather tactless sometimes.

“Um, no, I just wanted to talk to him. That’s all.” She admitted sheepishly fully stepping into the tent. “You know, Sokka talks about you ALLthe time.” She said in a laxer tone, one which was friendlier and more inviting.

“Really?”The Suki inquired her interest piquing.

Moments later the two girls bonded as they shared stories of both love and war. Both fields in which anything and everything was possible.

“I can't believe you forgave him!” Suki said aghast when Tsai finished sharing her story. The girl from Yu Dao sat on the ground with both of her legs crossed underneath her body as Suki braided her medium length hair. Both were wearing mushed up used tea leave facial which were apparently good for blemishes.

“Trust me. I can’t believe it either,” she confessed. “I can't believe I'm asking him to get back together.”

“Do you want to?” Suki asked after a while letting go of her new friend’s hair.

Sokka hadn’t been wrong. Suki did like Tsai and the feeling was mutual. It was hard enough to find a girl that had her own priorities straight yet still wanted to dish about boys.

“It’s… hard.” The other managed with a painful expression. “We hurt each other, and I still care about him a lot. It’s just… Scary.”

“You almost lost him today.” Suki turned around to allow the other girl to brush her short hair.

There it was again. That reminder that kept on knocking in the door of her heart. Life really was too short to live in doubt. Specially during times of war. Especially when there was that haunting vision about what would happen the day of Sozin’s comet. That ill specter of a feeling that made the girl feel sick to her core. What if she didn't survive the final battle? Even worse- what if hedidn't?

“So, you think you would’ve been okay living the rest of your life without him knowing how you feel?” Suki asked and the girl stopped brushing for a moment. Pausing as she knelt deep in thought. Again, there it was…

“You’re right.” Tsai admitted the truth to herself. It was just as her grandfather had always said when referring to the plum blossoms in the palace’s gardens. “It’s like grandfather would’ve said 'Our lives, too, are fleeting.'"

Suki turned and gave her an odd look.

“What about you and Sokka? I’d love to hear your story.”

Suki proceeded to tell Tsai how they had met in Kyoshi Island and how she had schooled him in warrior training and how their relationship had evolved past that over time. Loud giggling and laughing could be heard coming out from Suki’s tent. The Kyoshi Warrior found it more than refreshing to confide in another girl that was nother boyfriend’s sister. Sokka glared from the outside of his tent. Not only had Zuko already cockblocked him once now Tsai played him dirty like this. Still, determined he poked his head into the tent and saw a horrible sight. Both girls were wearing facials on their faces, braiding and brushing each other’s hair.

“Sokka!” Suki gasped shocked and turned away not wanting him to see her with all that junk on her skin.

“Go away Sokka! We’re having a sleep over!” Tsai shot as she threw one of her shoes in his direction.

Sokka stepped out frustrated with a light frown. Guess it just wasn’t going to happen for him tonight.

xxx

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#prince zuko #zukoxreader #Zuko x oc #Zuko x you #zuko #zuko imagine #avatar #avatar the last airbender #avatar fanfic #avatar x oc #avatar fanfiction #atla #atla fanfic #oc #original character #sunburn

[ofromans]

『 finn cole. twenty-two. cismale. he/him. 』 oh heavens, is that ROMAN COSTA from SYCAMORE WAY i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -CONNIVING & -UNBRIDLED. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool UNEMPLOYED and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +STAUNCH & +ASTUTE. i hope i see them around again! 『 jean. 22. est. she/her. 』

hi squad , hope you’re all having a solid day <3 , i’m jean & this is my brand spankin’ new baby boy roman . i’m throwing a few random tidbits and things below but will be writing up a full blown bio once i have some more time to rly dive in . come thru & let’s party ? PLOT ?

tw : addiction !

he’s the son of STEFANO ( his intro here ) , rock star & basically best bud . he has two half-siblings now ( both just babies ) that his almost new mom left @ their doorstep for his dad to raise ( and he likes to think he helps out a bit too ). 

his biological mother left him and his old man when he was born , not knowing her at all ( and yes , resentful for it ). his dad’s recent fiance ( ex - fiance ) also left the family behind for whatever reason without a trace so yes - you guessed it , roman has mommy issues / abandonment issues galore :-)

growing up as the son to a famous musician had its perks ( the money of COURSE & heading on tour with the coolest dude ever , the social media fame , people treating you differently ) , but it also had some downsides ( the money , the fame ( paps are the Worst !!! ) , and people treating you differently ). funny how those are so similar . although stefano did / does his best as a dad to keep things as normal as possible - it’s somewhat out of his control . roman felt some pressure to act a certain way ( especially if the paparazzi was around - picture a lil kid with cameras flashing in his eyes ok ) , on social media as that came with a built-in following , and he never truly knew who to trust as they got close to him ( a) because of the mommy issues probably, afraid of close relationships & b) are they in it for him or for the money / fame / etc ? )

growing up in the world’s greatest city ( new york ), meant that he had access to everything at his fingertips . and he loved it . a bit of an adrenaline junkie , he loved the excitement , craved the flashing lights when he left & never once had a dull moment . ( except for when he slept in until ... noon , sometimes ). new york perhaps did make him grow up a bit quicker than most though , and roman found himself mixing with some of the wrong crowds / some of the older crowds while he was just shy of a teen . at this point , the alcohol & drugs didn’t seem major as he was still able to keep his average grades up & be the great son / brother he was expected to be  - but during college ( he stayed in nyc and went to nyu ) began his downfall of reliance and commitment to drugs . he became more than just the life of the party , and instead , unhealthy + dangerous  - to himself and those around him . you see , his father and family moved down to his soon to be absent mother’s hometown - mapleview , and roman obviously chose to stay in school , to stay in his home - new york . who would want to move to a place in the middle of nowhere that has the name maple in it ? and with his dad’s fiance who he was never all too found of ? anyway . hitting rock bottom felt repetitive & with his father away ,  it was all too easy to hide the regretful mornings & flunking grades . UNTIL a wild night turned into one with roman thrown into jail with one phone call . after his court ordered rehab & probation ( still on probation tbh ) , roman and his father decided that it’d be best if he moved down to mapleview for a bit after all . ( i wouldn’t say he’s the happiest & it’s p clear that he’s on outsider .... but he’s making the best of it ! plus it seems he came back at the perfect time - now his father being the sole caretaker of the babies . ) he’s been here now for about 6-7 months .

personality wise , i’d say he’s a bit harsh , definitely aware of who he is & a bit cocky . he’s extremely sarcastic / snarky ( i like to think a bit like tony stark tbh ) & doesn’t take all too much seriously . on the bright side , he is loyal to a fault and would do absolutely anything for his half-siblings & especially his father . probably the first to throw a punch in a fight that he knows he’ll lose . he’s intelligent ( though he didn’t get the musical skills that his father has ) , and is able to read people pretty well . he’s blunt , but hardly means to be rude ( even tho it may come off as such ) . roman’s curious by nature & will ask questions that may come off as judgmental ... basically know what he says ≠ what he means , but will still just laugh it off without apology if they’re offended . he’s also ... fun , courageous ! and willing to do anything to get the adrenaline his body craves . 

some headcanons ! loves : thunderstorms , rolled cigarettes , morning sun , good cell service , new sneakers , 90s grunge & euro-dance music , new york sports , going live on instagram , sunglasses , fast cars . // hates : his bad eyesight , shy people , littering , the smell of gasoline , long lines , flip-flops , skiing , cracking knuckles , singing shows , man-buns .  

wanted :

the next-door neighbor ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

the drug dealer ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

good influence ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

the previous boss ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

when roman first got to mapleview , this person hired him graciously . unfortunately , due to whatever circumstances , also had to fire him just a few short months later .

the friends with benefits ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

can have multiple of these tbh , with mommy issues , i assume he’s a bit all over the place in this department .

the enabler ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

this person would be somewhat of a bad influence on roman , especially since he’s still on probation . maybe wanting to take him out to bars / clubs / for a drink . or just doing things that aren’t on the ~legal side of the world .

the enemy ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

can have multiple , of course !

the childhood friend  ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

if anyone is from nyc :~)

the challenger ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

someone else with a sharp mouth, who refuses to accept any of his shit. catch them arguing or fighting every time they’re in a room together. it’s always been that way.

the match ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

tinder plot !

the baby-sitter  ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

the person that helps watch the twins when dad / roman are unable to .

the user  ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

someone that’s using him for something , whether that be to get closer to his father / his studio , for the money / fame , literally anything .

the heartache  ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

a relationship where the fell hard & fast and of course it went south fast .

the adventure sidekick  ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

gimmie those 3am adventures !

the secret  ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

for whatever reason , the two have to keep their relationship / them hanging out a secret .

ALL & EVERYTHING !

#mapleviewintro #throw me a like & i'll come AT u bruv

[leporellian]

don giovanni Modern AU(TM) (LLC) shenanigans

i will not shut up about don giovanni. historically, i do not shut up, in general. and i have been thinking too long recently about what the characters would be like in Modern Times so. have some head canons ig

right so you know how in some suburban towns like. near the edge of the town there’s a farm but also some goddamn rich people mcmansions like right next to it? this is basically where the don and leporello grew up. they’ve known each other their entire lives

leporello grew up on the farm naturally. the farm really was just like. mostly corn but there WERE cows, some chickens, and a horse. lep was a very quiet kid and rarely spoke, and he was the oldest of five (and the only boy out of him and his siblings)

giovanni meanwhile was an only child- his parents were both only children too so it ran in the family. his dad/grandfather/etc made the family rich with some kinda capitalist bullshit job but giovanni himself didn’t do jackshit. giovanni’s dad was Just Awful Generally and his mother never properly disciplined him or even paid attention to what he was getting himself into. this obviously didn’t end well

the don was also like. a really sickly child until he was about 4 years old

anyway lep and giovanni were childhood friends. idk if they went to the same school or not but they Hung Out together

leporello went off to some Nice University to pursue a doctorate. giovanni meanwhile just kinda fucked around in college, both literally and metaphorically, and then dropped out like 3/4 of the way through simply because he really didn't care. (he was not a great student. he also didn’t understand why education is important because yknow, his family was Fuckoff Rich so it wasn’t like he really needed a career.)

(giovanni’s mother bought one of those online degrees for him anyway.)

anyway leporello gets back with his doctorate!... and a shit load of debt. and it’s not like he or his family has the money for any of it. didn’t think that one through, pal

lep then meets giovanni Again (they didn’t really do a good job of keeping in touch during college because both were Busy, lep with his degree and the don with hard partying) and giovanni is like ‘yo my family’s rich, you can move in with me and i’ll do most of the debt-paying’ and leporello is like ‘alright! yeah!’ because he has not yet realized giovanni is no longer the kid he was friends with but... A Literal Sociopath(TM)

this leads into... some very indentured servitude Bullshit. because giovanni is a fucking bastard.

because now any time leporello doesn’t do what giovanni wants him to giovanni threatens to kick him out and stop paying The Debts... or just straight-up threatens to kill him. and leporello knows that both of these are very real possibilities.

(absolutely NONE of this is helped by the fact that leporello is in love with giovanni.)

(also leporello is autistic. but you Knew this,)

anyway. anna and ottavio also grew up together bc their dads Knew each other. maybe their dads were work buddies or something

they were pretty close as kids but not like... SPECTACULARLY close. like yknow how you’d have friends as a kid that you were close with but would forget about immediately after not being in their vicinity? yeah that was them.

later on ottavio’s dad tries to make anna and ottavio a Thing bc he’s like ‘well i know her dad.’ but anna is a lesbian and ottavio is basically the front page of r/niceguys so it does Not work

ottavio doesn’t even know what a ‘lesbian’ is even though anna has explained it to him Many times

ottavio is also an accountant because that Just Makes Sense. idk what job anna has but it’s something Very Passionate

also anna probably fences as a hobby

meanwhile! zerlina and masetto are both like. Just About Done with nursing school. they are both becoming nurses, naturally (although zerlina is specializing in neonatal care).

they met each other at college and immediately hit it off. like they went from friends to In A Relationship in like less than a month

this is mainly because they are the Same Brand of Strange(TM) 

elvira meanwhile grew up in a VERY religious and VERY close knit small town. one of the ones where everyone knows each other and IMMEDIATELY will turn on them if they perceive them as ‘sinning’ or whatever. not a nice place

this was fine for elvira for a while. as a kid she was like ‘i’m gonna become a nun!’ because everybody in the small town told her to

and then giovanni strutted in and singlehandedly Fucked Things Up Both Literally And Metaphorically, which led everyone in the small town to turn on elvira for Sinning(TM) (read: having sex out of wedlock).

elvira then said “fuck it”, became a punk, and got her ass out of the town to go find giovanni (and get an education at a community college while she’s at it because that town was in the middle of Bumfuck USA and didn’t have any education past high school). 

anyway. giovanni doesn’t die by going to hell, because people in modern times generally do not die by being set on fire and thrown into hell by statues. they didn’t die that way historically either but Listen.

like. i’m not SURE how exactly giovanni would go but the best i can think of is this: giovanni is getting chased by the police and everyone else for, yknow, Everything, and manages to duck into his house after throwing them off his trail. giovanni realizes though that the police will soon be onto him again, and so giovanni decides to spend the night in the garage packing his stuff up so he can make a getaway in the morning. they have dinner in there and elvira at one point manages to get in to tell the don off. the don proclaims his ‘long live the women, long live the wine, long live freedom’ thing just as she leaves in disgust, lights a cigarette while forgetting he is in a garage surrounded by gasoline, and... Yeah

leporello sees all of it.

after the don’s death leporello and elvira decide to move into an apartment together (they obviously aren’t a Couple since leporello is gay, but they Are close friends and twink/butch solidarity). since the don had no will, some of his money goes to leporello, who manages to pay off most of the rest of his debt with it. 

leporello doesn’t initially deal with the don’s death well, given he spends the night after the don dies almost drinking himself to death, but eventually he manages to find a support system. he also probably has a huge autistic burnout after the don dies but again he manages to get thru it

and! leporello gets a job as a museum archivist

elvira meanwhile joins a biker gang. she loves her motorcycle and it’s her Favorite Thing. also she starts dating anna, who finally manages to convince ottavio that he has No Chance with her

aaand the don is rotting in hell lol. fuck that guy.

#don giovanni #opera tag #rambles #many Thoughts have taken Place. #ask to tag

[prorevenge]

I’m not the loser .

So I just saw another story posted about tenants. Apologies for slight similarity. Also, I’ll try to keep this as short as possible without losing the story as the events of this happened over a period of 1.5 years. Sorry it turned out longer than I thought.

Some Backstory: my family has a small apartment complex. We aren’t greedy landlords, it just pays the bills, Mortgage, life stuff, and schooling for my siblings (school isn’t cheap). A friend of my moms asked for a favor since she had friends that ended up without a home and the lady (eventual tenant) was going thru cancer treatment. We are nice people and an apartment had just become available. We let them move in ASAP, no deposit, no contract, no background check. Yes, that was stupid. But it was a favor for a family friend that helped us out during very very tough times.

The new tenants move in, mom dad (both in late fifties) & son (mid thirties). They start complaining about minor issues, They wanted to paint the apartment or something. My brother was managing the situation at the time and to get him off his back, agreed to it. Later they billed him for the paint job. Pissed us off that we got billed for something that didn’t needed to be done but we shrugged it off, we didn’t want problems. As time went, the dad kept complaining about things but said he could fix them if we paid him. We caught on and found out that he use to work in apartment maintenance. He said he knew how to take things apart and put them back together and knew how everything inside apartments worked (this is important for later on).

After a few months of them living there they call saying heater isn’t working. They wanted us to give them money to fix it. We tell them we are sending a repair guy. They try to insist they’ll do it. We send repair guy. Repair guy says we need to install a completely new heater and that the tenants blew some of the electrical stuff in the apartment. He made the tenants sign a paper stating they were at fault for the electrical issue and that everything was working after the repair guy fixed everything. We were pissed off at this point as it cost us about $2,000 but couldn’t do anything as we had no contract with them and felt bad for the lady who had cancer.

Fast forward about 8 months and tenants have stopped paying rent. We let one month pass. They promise they’d have money soon. Two months, same thing. Three months, still nothing. At this point my brother can’t deal with them anymore and my mom asks me to evict them. I send a three day notice, hoping they realize we are serious and they have to pay or leave. The dad calls me, yelling and screaming saying he isn’t paying anything and that we owe him money. He goes on to say that he won’t pay or leave until a sheriff shows up at their door and tells them to leave. (This is my first personal interaction with them. My mom and brother complained about them being very unpleasant and extremely rude people with a touch of righteousness about themselves)

They don’t move out. I file lawsuit. They respond with the help of a court appointed lawyer for low income people. I feel shitty about doing this to them but they left us no choice. They ask for a jury trial and claim the apartment was unlivable so they shouldn’t have to pay rent. Talk to some lawyers, find out it’s a tactic to stay longer without paying rent.

Meanwhile, tenants call to let me know there is a leaky shower faucet. Send a plumber to repair it. He repairs it. Shows them it’s working. Leaves. Next day they call again saying it’s broken again. Call plumber, he is both shocked and embarrassed cant figure out why it broke again, this time I go with him to make it a point that I saw it get fixed. Plumber Fixes it at no charge. Following week get a call from tenants (good tenants-GT) that live underneath bad tenants-BT, saying there is a leak coming from upstairs. Send in the plumber again for an emergency plumbing issue. They refuse to let him in end up causing damage to the GT closet (needed to be remodeled because of this). The BT call their lawyer saying I’m harassing them a few minutes after they deny plumber entrance. Lawyer calls me ready to give me a rip me a new one saying I’m sending strangers(the plumber) to harass them and what not. I get lawyer up date, he apologizes and asks me to get plumber back in.

A couple weeks go by and I get a notice from health department. BT were trying to document things and claimed there was rodents. Inspector included in his report that there wasn’t but that there were holes in the wall and Black stuff on the tub. All of which I found weird, i had just been to apartment and there were no holes or black stuff on Tub. Call health department to explain situation and was told that I had to repair everything even if it hadn’t been there before. A month later get another report complaining about torn carpet, more holes, and a broken heater. Weird considering they were in first report and we had put in a new heater not even a year ago.

It occurs to me that the dad who threatened and said he knew how to do apartment stuff was doing all the damages. Neighbors started complaining about loud banging come from their apartment at night. So they were purposely causing damage to get out of paying rent. A$$$hits right. I called the health department again and they basically stopped reporting BT findings. So BT move on to county code enforcement to try and get back at us. Code enforcement comes and gives us list of things to fix. We explain that things on the list are items that we didn’t put into apartment but that tenants did (ceiling fan and some other stuff I really don’t remember). Guy is cool says he’ll wait to reinspect once the eviction is complete.

So by now I’m pissed and start to investigate these people. Find out none of them actually work but that they live off of lawsuits and fraud. They were also evicted from last place but settled out with landlord. Other Tenants find out about eviction and inform me that the son sells drugs and has flashed the gun he carries around. This where I start trying to think of some pro revenge. The son gets checks from govnt for being a “caregiver” to his parents. I’m thinking getting him caught for drug dealing or reporting him for fraud but police said they can’t go off of hearsay and the tenants were too scared to go on record with a report. Criminals with guns have that effect on people.

So I’m going over lawsuit and responses and noticed that their attorney didn’t actually represent them all even though he kept putting et al. Turns out only the parents would qualify for free attorney since they don’t work but son gets caregiver check thereby not qualifying him for free attorney. They thought I wouldn’t notice this little detail, so I pretended not to notice. I told their lawyer that I agree to their settlement, free rent for the next month and no back rent owed. This dragged on so long that we are talking about almost 9 months of rent(over 10k). Show up to court and just to double check, I ask the lawyer who she represents(firm sent a different lawyer than the original, fresh faced brand new attorney). I was correct, only two of three tenants were represented. Sign the settlement, get my copy, tenants ask their lawyers if they could leave since they had my signature, they leave. So now there are no tenants and only the lawyer that represents two of them.

Go up before judge tell them we reached a settlement. I interrupt and tell him I would like summary judgement against the tenant who didn’t respond. Lawyer is new, looks flustered but says nothing. Judge grants me summary judgment against the one tenant with fees and everything, eviction on his record. Now as far as the lawyer is concerned, she did her part for her defendants and I know they won’t find out about summary judgment until the move out. They move out. Find out about the summary judgment against the son after they moved out.

Now before they found out, they were bragging how they screwed me and f me and how they are so smart and no one messes with them.

After they learned about judgment they realized they are screwed. The son was the only one that could prove income and rent an apartment for them all, now he has an eviction on his record with over 10k owed. The parents won’t work in order to win their lawsuits but last I heard they weren’t going so well. I also heard they were trying to sue me. Don’t know for what but they are going to psychologist because I made them sad or something(insert sarcasm here). I also found out they’ve been kicked out of two different relatives homes.

(source) (story by Nevertofart)

#prorevenge #by Nevertofart #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro #revenge #revenge story #last10

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #213

"there's a voice in my head, says i'm better off dead, but if i sing along a little fucking louder to a happy song, i'll be all right."

Are there popsicles in your freezer right now? No. Ice cream? No. Is there a lamp in your bedroom? Well, two heat lamps for Kaiju and Venus. Would you prefer eating jello or pudding? Pudding. After washing your hair, do you put any products in it? No. Last time you ate a salad? Yikes, it's been a long time... Can you name 2 books of the Bible? Uhhh Luke and Revelations? Do people usually think your brother is handsome? I don't know, I haven't lived with him since I was a kid, and he doesn't live in my state. So we don't know the same people. Have you ever crawled thru a vent? Not to my memory. Are there toothpicks in your kitchen? They're in the bathroom. How many living grandparents do you have? One. Do you eat more than 3 meals a day? No; I don't even always have three. Do you know how old your house is? I believe it was made in the '70s. Do you think you have great potential for success? Meh. Have you applied any lipstick, chapstick, gloss, etc to your lips today? No. Would you rather have tan or pale skin color? Pale. Sometimes I hate it, but I like it more overall. Especially when you're a goth at heart know what I'm sayin'. Last time you entered a high school? Probably my sister's graduation. Last time you rode a bike? It's been years, dude. Probably not since high school. Do you drink your water from the tap? You couldn't pay me to. Our water is technically clean, we've had it tested, but dead serious, the hot water smells like rotten eggs. I'm pretty sure Mom said it's something about the salt content in the pipes. But nevertheless, mind over matter would nooot work. Is there any kind of design on your socks? I'm not wearing socks. Have you ever had an ice cream cake for your birthday? No, I'm not a fan. Do you use dryer sheets? Yes. Do you like Subway? Yeah. What was your worst mistake in your life? Letting a guy become god, the entire universe, and more to me. Is this year the best year of your life? Oh, hunny- Is there someone in your life you wish you never met? I don't think so. Did you sleep well last night? I never do. I always wake up at least once. What’s the last song you heard? "Happy Song" by Bring Me The Horizon is on repeat. What is your favorite line from a TV show? I don't have a clue. Any current family issues? No. Who is the last friend you spent time with outside of school? Summer and I talked for a while at my niece's b-day party a few days back. What do you think of your mother? Your father? Your siblings (if there are any)? I love them. There's one sister I don't know so can't really say anything on her, then I do have another sister who, if I can assume via Facebook interactions, can't be too fond of me. But I could be mistaken with my habit of said assuming... Who/What is one person/thing that had the biggest impact on your life? Who: Jason. What: my mental health. What is the biggest problem in your life right now? How isolated I am and void of purpose I feel. What is one band that you find yourself going back to again and again? You mean like, stop liking but then get back into? None, I think. Have you ever had a crush on someone of the same gender as you? Yes. Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender as you? Yes. Do you and your dad get along? Yes. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever kept a goldfish alive for? Idk. Can you see your purse right now? Yes. Are you wearing any perfume? What kind? No. Are there products in your hair? No. Have you ever eaten cat food? I don't think so, though I wouldn't be surprised as a kid. How many pets do you have? Six. Do you actually like them? All but my sister's dog. I can't stand him. Do you have one best friend who is always there for you? My girlfriend. Do you wear skirts a lot? I never do. I hate my legs. Do you basically live in jeans? I have zero jeans. Do you wear sweatpants a lot? Not really; if I'm not in pjs, I'm usually in dance or yoga pants. How many pairs of jeans do you think you have? Zero. Do you like hoodies? Yeah. Big ones or the form fitting kind? Bigger ones. Did you ever actually have a rubber duck? I think I did. Are you one of those people who claim to live with no regrets? I go back and forth, lol. But no, I have regrets. Do you love your computer? It's got a few issues, but yeah. Do friends or family come first? Family of the heart, anyway. Us sharing blood doesn't mean shit to me, honestly. What’s your lucky number? I don't believe in "lucky" numbers. Who were the last 5 people you spoke to? I'll include via technology because otherwise I have no clue. Mom, Sara, Emma, and two women interested in adopting Kaiju. Do you have the same password for everything? No. Do you get shy around the person you like? Sometimes. What color is your phone? Dark navy. Do you prefer pens or pencils? Pencils. Do you like peanut butter? Yes. If you could live forever, would you? Hell no. Do you talk in your sleep? A lot. What was the last thing you regretted? Probably depression binge-eating something. Are you any good at cutting hair? Never tried. Do you like your yearbook picture this year? N/A What was the last YouTube video to make you laugh? Ummm there was something last night, but idr what. Do you like tomatoes? No. Do you have a pool? I wish. How would you describe your style? Too poor and lazy to be a goth so dresses in whatever is at the top of my drawer tbh lmao. Do you still talk to any of your exes? One. Have you ever been arrested? No. What was the last thing you watched on TV? I don't watch TV by my own volition anymore and there's not even a TV in my room, so... I really don't know. Do you have a tan? Even the Irish are ashamed of me. What was your most embarrassing moment? Who knows. I'm so easily humiliated and affected by it that I can remember times I've been even remotely embarrassed as far back as pre-k. Do you fall for people fast? No. Do you tell your parents everything? No. Are you quick to judge? Depends. Not generally. When was the last time you crawled through a window? I have zero clue. Are you scared of spiders? Most, yes. What would you do if the doctor told you that you were pregnant? Have a full-blown panic attack despite that being physically impossible. Do you plan on moving within the next year? It'd be nice, but I estimate it'll be around two more years. Have you been to a baby shower? Yeah. How many cars can fit in your driveway? Hm. A few, since the parking area behind the house is decently-sized. Are you taller than your mom? No. Are you a cuddler? Yes. Sleep on your back or stomach? My stomach/upper torso kinda to the side. Think of the last time you were angry. Why were you angry? I don't remember. Though I know I was mad recently. How long has it been since you had sex? Almost four years. Who was the last person to call you babe? Sara. Last reason you went to the ER? My sister got in a car wreck. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yeah. When was the last time you shaved your legs? It's been maaaany months. What facial cleanser do you use? Biore. Do you use a blowdryer? No. If someone wanted to know what you smelt like, what should they smell? Dogs and cats lmao. Have you ever cheated on the significant other that you have now? No. For that one week a month, do you hate being a woman? Still rather be a woman. Favorite underwear brand? Idk. Last thing you bought at the mall? A book. Do your parents like your boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes. What if an ex asked to be back in your life? Aaron: We've never had issues, we just drifted apart. It'd be weird for him to ask that, but I mean, sure? Juan: I don't know. Probably not. Jason: I REALLY don't know. We could probably be friends at a distance. Tyler: No, I think. Girt: He's still in my life. If you’re on a laptop, how much charge does it have right now? It's charging and only tells me the minutes until it's at full charge. Last gift you received? I don't know. Lesson you recently learned? I absolutely cannot work in a busy environment. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Probably ketchup. What is a field of study that is of your interest? Zoology. What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone? Thinking too hard on what the appropriate amount of eye contact is. Have you ever laid in a hammock? Yeah. What time of day do you feel mostly at peace? Morning. How has the weather been treating you lately? It's way too fucking hot and humid. Have you ever lost a pet in a tragic way? How did you cope? We've had numerous cats be hit by cars. It was always sad, but I mean, I got through it. Especially as I was just a kid and didn't quite fathom how serious death was, nor did any cats I was SUPER attached to die that way. What can you go a day without doing? Going outside. What can’t you go a day without doing? Using some form of technology. Talking to Sara. Who do you spend most of your time with? No one. I'm usually alone. Do you have a favorite classical composer? No. What type of quality is a must-have in a friend? A caring heart. Have you ever eaten a zucchini? A fried one that was sliced into chips. What type of art would you hang up in your room? Dark art or fandom-related stuff. What goes good with a nice cold glass of milk? Oreos omggggg. What fruit is too sweet to you? None, I think? How much money did your last vacation cost? I don't even remember my last vacation. Have you ever taken a physics class? Yeah. What are your thoughts on celebrity idolization and ‘fangirling/fanboying?’ Oh boy, I can't talk shit here for obvious reasons lmao. What is the messiest area in your home? I'm not sure... I haven't been in my sister's old room in forever, and I can't remember if it's empty or not. If it is empty - hell, even if it isn't -, the answer's probably the laundry room. Who was the last person you called? My mom. What’s your favorite computer game genre? Horror is my favorite game genre period. Do you have any exes your parents never liked? No. Well, Mom had mixed feelings about Juan, but so did I. She didn't not like him, though. Do you take public transportation to work? N/A. Public transport doesn't even come here. What extracurricular activities did you do when you were growing up? Soccer for one season (I hated it), softball, basketball, briefly cheerleading, and dance. Has anything unusual happened to you recently? Idk. I don't think so. Do you like chicken korma? I have no clue what that is. What was the last type of tea you drank? I never drink tea; I hate it. Have you ever been severely mentally ill? Yes. Where is the most interesting place you could go that’s within day-trip distance from your house? Stealing previous answer: Washington D.C. Do you ever rearrange your furniture? No. Have you received financial help from your parents in the past 5 years? Lol I'm still financially dependent on them. Are you a fast or a slow eater? I am an extremely fast eater. I'm not messy or anything, I just, eat how I feel is normal? Just chew until you've done so enough to swallow. What room(s) of your house did you last vacuum? Mine. How old were you when you had your first relationship? My first "real" relationship started at 15. I had a middle school bf for just like... a month or so, but that was all puppy-dog love. Why did your last relationship end? I verified that I didn't like him romantically, and I also found I was just too guarded. In our four months of dating, I got no closer to him than I was from the start. I wasn't ready to date a guy again. What was the last thing you purchased from a small local business? No idea. Is there anyone in your family/household whom you frequently argue with? No. Do you live in a high cost-of-living area? No. Have you ever used chewing tobacco? Ew, no. Do you ever feel like someone would be disappointed to see your body or are you comfortable with your body enough where you don’t think that? I fucking hate my body and I'm sure anyone else would too. What is your favorite flavor of Monster? I don't like Monster. Do you follow your head or your heart? Both, I guess. It depends. How do you act under pressure? Did somebody say PANIC?!?!?!?! Do you ever call people just to hear the sound of their voice? No. Do you ever look back at your yearbooks? No. It'd probably depress me. Have you ever ran from the police? No. Have you ever written on someone’s face in your yearbook? Ha ha yeah, back as a kid... Are you double jointed? No. Who was the last person to yell at you? Mom. What is your favorite stuffed animal that you own? My first stuffed meerkat I named after Zaphod from MM. Or my moose Brownie. Do you have any trophies? Somewhere. Do you work out? No. What grade are you in? I’m not in school. Do you like screamo music? No. Let me hear words, please. If I learn the lyrics, I can /sometimes/ enjoy the song, though. What does your wallet look like? It's rectangular with a Harley Quinn design. Do you have any hickeys on you? No. Is weed a drug? *Technically*, by definition, yes Who’s the first person you turn to when you need a shoulder to cry on? Mom or Sara. Would you cheat on someone for revenge? Or if they wouldn’t find out? No, that's fucking stupid. If you got pregnant right now, would you keep the baby? If I was, God forbid, raped, I don't think I could. If I had unprotected sex willingly, I truly think pregnancy would traumatize me, but I'd probably go through with it and put it up for adoption. I'd want to take responsibility for my actions. Does your family have a secret? No. Are you prejudice against any groups of people? No. If someone gave you a houseplant, would you keep it? Yeah, to be nice. That fella wouldn't live long, though. When/where are you most likely to sing? In the car. Are there any exercises that you do regularly? I'm trying to get in the habit of planking every day since it works out your whole body. Would you ever wish to explore a cave? HELL YES!!!! If you had a son right now, what would you name him? Probably Damien. Who names their son after a Markiplier character? Me. But real talk, I like the name. Do you own a desktop or a laptop? A laptop. Have you kissed more than three guys this year? I haven't kissed any guys. Who’s with you? Mom's on the couch outside my door. Can you use chopsticks? I highly doubt it, especially because I have tremors. When did you last go to an amusement park? Oh, wow. I actually think this was shortly before Jason and I broke up. So 2015. Are there certain things that can’t be joked about with you? Don't you fucking dare joke about rape, retardation, suicide, or self-harm. What would you do if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? We're both females. We can't. Your phone is ringing. It’s your ex. What do you say? I don't have any of my exes' numbers, so I'd answer it and say "hello?". Are any of your texts in your inbox locked? A couple from Sara. If there were no letters on the keys on your keyboard, could you still type? Yes; I don't look at the keyboard when I type. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? Twice now. Do you currently have a scar? I have a lot. Have you ever seen somebody get shot? No. You have $5 and need to buy snacks at a petrol station. What do you buy? I mean, it depends on what I'm up for. Usually Reese's or something sour. If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be? Probably a dolphin. What do you order most off the internet? Clothes. Describe the last time you were injured? So I have this awful habit of tearing my fingernails when they get long, and I peeled it way too short. Rock concert or symphony? Y'all know I'm picking rock. What is the wallpaper of your mobile phone? Mark and Chica, and my home screen is Sara and me. Most recent movie you’ve watched at the cinema? Detective Pikachu. Name an actor/actress you’ve had the hots for? Jason Momoa. My straight side is certainly still there, friends. What’s your favorite kind of cake? Red velvet. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. Have you ever done ballet? No. Do you listen to classical music? No. Do you watch Spongebob? I don't watch TV period. Do people consider you intelligent? Those in my life seem stuck on high school me, when I was really smart. I don't think I am anymore. What curse word do you use the most? "Fuck," oops. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos? Well yeah, I'm probably gonna BE that person one day, lmao. What’s the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? It's impossible to mispronounce my name... The only thing that sometimes happens is my name is misspelled.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

[bewareofthorns]

jeepers! meet rowan ‘ro’ sharpe, tenant of room 3b, college student tentatively majoring in history and wholesome all-american boy learning to stand on his own.  this is legiterally the worst ™ intro, but it is also everything i applied with! 

·      ☆ ⤻ logan shroyer. meet ro sharpe. he is/are a 20 year old history student, who’s been residing in apartment #3b for a year. usually , you can catch him on the subway listening to a whiter shade of pale  by procol harum and their roommates insist that he reminds them of rumpled sheets, sunlight streaming through a half-opened window and tangled earbuds. the libra has been described as candid & guarded but since he’s known as the all-american, i guess we’ll just have to wait and see .

a brief intro

think basic white boy. now more basic. even more basic. if ur at fuccboi, ur going in the wrong direction. 

he is absolutely the kid in high school that you wanted to hate, but that you couldn’t. his parents raised him right and that frustrates others around him to no end.

he’s as american as apple pie and just as sweet. if you met him in his native environment, he’d probably be somewhere in between a state fair and a football game. picture like any movie where the underdog leads his team to state. that was him in senior year.

he had a mom and stepdad and two little siblings that he left behind in ohio. (and sometimes, though he hates to admit it because it sounds like something a coward would say, he wishes he had never really left them.)

the world is bigger than he thought it was. and there’s times when he’s in the apartment and people are walking by that he can’t help but be a little afraid.

on social media, if you scroll back in time, before the apartment, all his posts before got is pictures of these two little kids and like football cleats and like terrible shaky videos of performances he did with the awful band that he made with his friends. he never thought he was going to go to new york city for college. he never thought- that this would be his life.

the drama that goes on, the messiness of the rest of the people who live in the apartment—as much as he never expected it to be, this is a vibrance that sucks him in, that has a hold on him that he can’t really explain. there’s a joy to it, of course, an intenseness that he can’t deny. 

just a fish out of water here in the city. part of him wants to go back to when he just had one girlfriend for like four years and they were going to go to college together and get married and he was going to be an actuary or a tax auditor or something. part of him still believes that he will– 

but he also knows. he loves this life. he’ll never be able to go back. 

I”M LITERALLY CRYING I LVE HTIS BEAUTIFUL WHITE BOY. HE LIVES SUCH A GOOD & WHOLESOME LIFE. I BET HIS MOM WENT ON HIS FIRST DATE WITH HIM WHEN HE WAS 14 AND, WHEN HE WAS 7. HE WALKED AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND GAVE EVERYONE THEIR MAIL FROM THEIR MAILBOXES EVENTHO THAT’S A FELONY. HE JUST WAS A GOOD WHOLESOME KID.

.

More

1.       His mom and his bio dad never got married and, while his dad did his best to be around while he was really young, his job eventually took him away to nyc and both of them agreed it would be best if he didn’t look back.

2.       though he remembers missing his biological father terribly at first, he was young enough that it hardly mattered. within the next few years, his mother got married, ro was adopted by his stepfather, and he would get two new half-siblings. 

a.       by the end of the first year of the marriage, ro had already taken to calling his stepfather ‘dad’. after all, it was his stepfather who took him out to backyard and taught him to play catch. it was his stepfather who helped him with his math homework and bought him christmas gifts. it was his stepfather who was there. and to ro, that was all that mattered. 

3.       he never once thought his childhood was missing anything. he took bass guitar and swimming lessons; he played on the local baseball team and, then, after deciding it wasn’t for him, joined the football team. he had a good group of friends and even did fairly well in school.  

4.       it wasn’t until he got into high school that things started to fray at the edges. after pulling a prank at school and getting into trouble, his stepfather sat him down and asked if he were acting out bc he missed his real father. he hadn’t been– at least, he hadn’t thought he was, but, when the gate was opened, he admitted that he wanted to at least meet the man who he had so few memories of. 

5.       so he did. and it went okay. There were no hard feelings. They agreed to keep meeting up.

6.       ro was lucky, though. as he was forced to navigate through this complicated relationship with his father, he was able to escape the perils that usually plague teens in  high school. 

a.       he was smart enough to talk with the academically-inclined and creative enough to hang around the arts kids, but his true saving grace was his position on the football team. he was good at it— enough that by his junior year, he had gotten an offer to join the reserve team for his dream school. it was a good scholarship and it also allowed him to pursue the degree that he was interested in (econ and math). 

7.       but despite accepting the offer almost immediately— he never ended up actually enrolling. Because he had also secretly applied to a nyc college to spend more time with his bio dad who lived in the region. And when he got accepted, he just knew-

a.       i don’t think he understood what he was getting into. the college he is going to has technically a better reputation than the state school he had originally wanted, but he just wanted– to know his dad better. to have a real relationship with his dad before it was too late.

b.       it weighs heavy on his mind that he threw away the larger college scholarship, the chance to be with his friends, the football offer — all just to spend some time in nyc for the more frequent opportunity to he feels guilty, as if him just being here is some kind of betrayal to the family that raised him. 

8.       lastly, ro absolutely calls his mom and stepfather every week, but still finds himself struggling to hold a conversation with his father. They don’t meet up as often as he thought they would. School takes up too much time for him. And his father is always working. And though his father is the one paying for his rent and also a chunk of his tuition, he still longs for a better connection.

9.       he’s really just a small town boy from ohio and here, where it seems like everyone parties and engages in a rock star lifestyle, he’s incredibly out of his depth. he’s sweet and he’s young and he’s responsible. he’s not here to spiral out of control or be number one  he’s just here to learn what it means to be a student. And also… if he can, someone’s son. 

fun facts

       he skateboards. everywhere.

       he doesn’t drink coffee.

       he stopped drinking soda when he turned 17 for a dare and never picked it up again.

       he knows how to knit.

       he’s a hardcore romantic. his mom took two tries to get it right, but she got it right.

        Did he have a high school gf that lasted for almost the full four years? You betcha. Did they break up because he went to NYC? You got it. Is he heartbroken over it and trying to fill the void? Done and done.

       In the apartment, he’s definitely trying to be the voice of reason. That’s not to say he can’t get down with the best of them, but he’s also always trying to get things under control.

        Since he’s 20, that also means—he’s not very good at standing his ground.

WANTED CONNECTIONS are fckn everything. 

exes, crushes, fwb, mentors, enemies (petty or deep-rooted... but i dare u to hate him). my literal fave r weird shared communal space plots. 

someone who will buy him contraband since he’s underage !! he swears he’s responsible

someone who he gives life advice to (in all of his iDiot 20 yo boy brain glory)

someone who gives HIM life advice to counsel him through being an idiot 20 yo boy 

someone who he caught doing something outlawed in the building

smoking? parking your bike in behind the potted plants? look we all know ur growing something behind the succulents but i don’t want to know okay. 

I was sticking my head out the window and you were draining water onto the pavement. Dude I see you. My god. We all have sinks. 

our mail keeps getting switched up ?? look ??? idk ???

We do our laundry at the same time every week and there’s just NOT ENOUGH MACHINES and its super weird bc like. we  never talk elsewhere about it. but every week we show up with full baskets at the SAME TIME

I know you keep ur door unlocked and so like. we’re friends. you won’t mind if I just pop in to use ur dish soap. i like ran out. 

KEEP UR NOISE LEVEL DOWN U HEATHEN. IM STUDYING. are u singing? is that a cat’s yowl? are u… Look IF YOU DON’T i’ll put a hole thru ur door.

#twelve.intro

[lottalex]

1/1/2019~reflection

yo, so im not really sure how to do this. I think I just made a random Tumblr to let the feelz out. because your girl gotta lotta them. hence the lotta lex. but I am still not comfortable with people seeing my shit that I know because putting my feelings out to the world that sees me in every day life is fucking terrifying.

SO. basically, I am just her to reflection my life the last year because it is now 2019 and that is the basic girly thing to do ~*~*~ 

Jan- wtf even happened in January of last year. gimme a sec to look at my pictures. pretty sure thats when I riddled with anxiety constantly and crying alone in my apartment while my ex-boyfriend went out all the time with his friends and I hated my life. lets check. my god, first of all I was fat. and had black hair and bangs. (tf did no one stop me for.) HOWEVER, my sweet angel nephew was born and I got to cry as I held him for the first time and fell in love with him. I remember being so terrified that my bff would have an ugly baby but that bitch had to outdo us and produce the cutest lil human. god bless. I started my journey on being a vegetarian on this day last year. which was amazing and I could see my body changing while knowing I was helping the planet. that being said, it’s time to return to that. Contemplated chopping my hair off. clearly going thru a lil crisis at this point lol. my other best friend found out her bf was talking to anther girl and I had to hold all that shit in because I was angry. and did she leave? nah, ya girl didn't but its alright hit up May on here I’m sure you’ll see how she got him back lol. alright so Jan wasn’t the worst. pretty good bc of the bean.

Feb- Ain’t got no clue wtf went on here. I remember my ex took the day off work to watch a fucking soccer game on valentines day instead of coming to see me lol. Jacqui came to visit during this time apparently lol nice. Yes, omg I fucked called into work and went to St. Louis and SMASHED some Korean bbq. fuck that sounds so fire right now. we played overwatch which is always fun. I didn’t get chosen for an animal caregiver position lol. getting skinnier. got the lush shampoo and conditioner bars. might have to hit those up again but they made my hair so greasy in korea. omg donghyun and I started being friends, jacqui was talking to some super hot Korean boy too. sad that didn’t work out for her lol. God, im so happy I went through my pictures. I forgot that February was the time that my best friend and I decided to take the biggest fucking risk of our lives and study in Korea for the summer. my mom was so fucking supportive. I will never delete those screenshots. My sister realized she was depressed and we got her some meds. woo. I made work friends and played dungeons and dragons like a fucking nerd and I love it.

March- ayyyye, I think this is where my anxiety got high as fuck about korea which was amazing lol such a fucking shitty time in my life. low-key worth it tho. I made a chicken Alfredo lasagna for my friends and it was fire. I should make that again. so many veggies and dog pics. love both of those things. I CUT ALL MY HAIR OFF WOW. I FORGOT. damn, that shit was short. Ashley finally starting coming around again. lol broke Zach’s phone and Ashley’s tooth on st. Pattys day. go team. doggo had to get heart worm shots. that shit was 1700 bucks and she had a weird patch shaved on her back lol. my grandparents got me a fucking sweet coffee pot for Christmas and I finally started using it. I need to break it out again, WE SENT OUR DEPOSIT FOR OUR APARTMENT IN KOREA OMFG I WANNA CRY I LOVE IT. started doing yoga too. another thing I need to get into again. 

April- went home for easter. wore a black bra with a yellow sweater. the beginning of disappointing my stepmom’s side of the family lol. got my luggage for korea omfg I wanna cry looking at these. it makes me so happy. lots of bts pics. still love them. just highly glad im not as obsessed anymore. god, more screenshots of my fabulous mother being loving and supportive of my every move. guess who I cant say that for? my dad lol. damn, this is the month my anxiety fucking attacked me. I couldn't sleep. I would cry for hours alone. I thought I was going to get my house broken into. I was paranoid someone was watching me. just a really shitty time. but, I had lots of things to look forward to and I didn't even know. 

may- this was my fucking month. Jesus, this is gonna be a crazy ride. omg trying to purchase BTS tickets with our whole fam for jacqui to be the only one to get one lol. and then my sweet mother again hitting up Stubhub and buying us tickets for $1,000. she cray but I was so thankful. I held a snake, nice. I quit my job and moved home for like 3 weeks prior to Korea. I. babysat. all. the. time. I had Wyatt and Navie. and I got in trouble for coming home and babysitting because my boyfriend at the time wanted me to pay attention only to him. he wanted me to not make any money before I left. nothing. the new bts album came out and its still my favorite one so far. I woke up early as fuck and listened to the whole thing with jacqui. we put headphones in and texted with every song we listened to. my god, im thankful for that bitch. decided that month that I wouldn’t stay at my old apartment and that I would move in with Jesse. saving me quite a bit of cash. went to Chicago before we left for korea for a concert and we brought the boys lol what a mistake. ex and I fought the entire time. he was such a dick to me before I left for korea and im not sure if he even sees it to this day. but I had the worst drink ever at a bar in Chi. we rode bikes along the lake. BFF attempted to get her hair done and it was all fucked up and she had to fix it. had a karaoke night with her family which was fun. had to leave my doggo, not so fun. drove the airport with my family (& at this point by family I just mean my mom, stepdad and siblings because is my dad really a parent at this point lol). BFF and I left for korea. traveled to Canada where their money smells like maple syrup lol. started taking anxiety pills finally. got to mother fucking South Korea. had to climb up six flights of stairs with 3 suitcases each lololololol. couldn’t get real food anywhere because jacqui and I were anxious motherfuckers and wouldn’t go in anywhere to order. got a Korean phone number. oh, also broke up with my boyfriend two days before I left. I didn’t break up with him but yeah. also found out he was talking to girls on snapchat a lot. thats was fun. my mental breakdowns at that time were fun. but I was kinda happy because it took a lot of pressure off me for korea and all and all it was for the best. we weren’t happy and hadn’t been for a long time.

June- OH JUNE. so many things. KOREA. Jacqui and I found our home restaurant in korea and I hope if we go back it’ll still be there. best 김치찌게 ever. met other foreign people one night out. got super fucking drunk on alcohol in hongdae somewhere that I dont even remember lol. Also, that was the night I met the first Korean dude I kissed. he was nice. English not so good. Jacqui met that josh kid. god I hope I never forget that. dude was a creeper. and the next night I broke my fucking wrist and dislocated my wrist and elbow AND snapped the elbow ligament all over a motherfucking Korean American boy. drunk Lexie is and always will be a mess hahahahaha. so had to go to the ER via Korean taxi where I almost passed out because they wouldn't let me drink water. had to cry in front of a lot of Koreans. got my arm set back into place without any anesthesia. but I found a billboard cutout of BTS on the way home lol. had to make my parents decide if I should stay in korea for surgery or come back to the states. mind you I was not even a week into being in korea hahah. this is why my dad fucking hates me im sure of it. attempted to explore a lil more. I feel bad for jacqui. she had to take care of me throughout all of this and I was fucked up on pain meds. she's a good egg that one. had surgery in korea. missed the first few days of class lol. found the fucking best popsicles ever in the hospital. made my dad pay 9,000 dollars for my surgery. found a bomb ass American restaurant. RIP I miss u. awh, omg Dasol. my bird. learned I loved cold noodles. especially in the heat of June Jesus H. tai kwon do was also lit. cute instructors bless. Jacqui’s drunk tinder date that turned into my date lol hey Daniel. got my cast off and got the brace. met meerkats and wallabies. finally had sex with someone besides my ex. 

ok ok this too much. I gotta clean now ill be back for the other six months lol 

[beautifuloutcastinoregon]

My Suicide Attempt...

Hi my name is Callista, if you are reading...thank you. It means a lot to me I really appreciate that you actually reading my story. 

I hope whoever is reading this, helps you out, or feel something than being suicidal, or worse.

There are reasons why I was so suicidal, I was loner, out basket, I just didn’t fit in like the rest of my generations. Maybe because I was light skinned Native, I had eyes like an Asian (well I do have a small percentage of Chinese in me), anyway I was spoiled kid that’s fat, everyone picked on the fat kid which is common but that’s not right, I was a kid that lived in her mind with her thoughts that didn’t help at all than the people that mistreated me...

In the good old days there was no fucks given, I didn’t care what my class thought, all I was worried about was when’s lunch, what to eat, or how to eat, who I was going to eat with. Food was always my best friend, maybe that’s probably why my classmates always picked on me because I was eating nonstop cause I fucking loved it. But tolerance not giving no fucks was wearing off, their words just gotten to me that all I felt was loneness, and sadness all I could do was eat. There were times I stood up for myself against those assholes but those assholes had a army of assholes and for me there’s just me. It has always been me the sad lonely fat kid who had no friends just food. 

My story may be a joke some of you (kind of is), some of you can relate who had the same passion for food just like me, some of you have it hard I get that, I’m sorry if my story just offends you guys in anyway, but this is just the beginning of my story.

In my point of experiences at school, teachers loved the poor fuckers like me who always gotten target by the whole class, fuck my first instant emotion in school was obeisance...yep  I WAS TEACHER’S PET, I kissed ass like what dogs to sniff other dogs butts. Fuck my life was a joke as a kid, no wonder why I got picked on by everyone else, I ate until the tears were al dried pretending to be.

My afterschool life at that moment , my mom gave me the impression that she loved my little sister more than me (its middle child thing), her priories that weren’t guys and drug, it was my sister, I don’t blame her, I care about my sister even though she caused unforgettable grief, I still love her, but the sad thing I hate her at the same time; I can remember we were sleeping in the living room, then I woke up got scared, I wanted so badly wanted go to my mom’s room and cuddle with her ya know what kids do when they are scared, but my sister was still asleep so I carried her to mom’s room on her bed, then my mom woke up, she yelled at me to sleep somewhere else, same thing with my dad, same scenario we are in the living room, woke up scared, dad coming from upstairs... he came to pick up her up, I asked if I could go sleep in his room, he said no and left me in the dark I remembered those certain memories all to well...

Sometimes I wish I can forget them and move on, maybe God, or whoever wanted me to write my story for a reason, or why I wanted you to read this.

I didn’t try kill myself because I was fat kid that got bullied, that had middle child syndrome. That’s just part of it sadly, I don’t want anyone’s pity, what I meant I don’t want you to feel what I felt. I just want everyone wants after trauma hits you hard, accept it and move on. Every kid gets bullied...every kid gets jealous of their siblings WE GET THAT but some kids like me that get molested at young age doesn’t understand. I remember it the location, his trailer that’s near my Katha's house, my mom’s car at that time, his face wasn’t in the memory just his horrify actions, my confusion to this day, I remembered being in the shower trying wash the thoughts away, it just made it worse, the flash backs just go back that moment, then to those another dark moments, with my cousin she’s older, people said that’s what girls do for another girls teach them stuff, the porn she put on, the toy she uses, her doing it in the bath tub, I felt uncomfortable there. There was more confusion, she’s your cousin so stuff like this it must be normal...

it must be normal...has to be

YOU ARE OKAY!...Are you?

STOP!!!

Why did you do that to me?

Why are you doing this to me?

Why did you choked me? 

Why do people like you do this?

Am I going become you?

Am I going hurt people because of you? no no no NO NO NO NO I’M NOTHING LIKE YOU! NOTHING LIKE YOU GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD STOP 

“its our little secret, don’t tell anyone.” 

All those thoughts taunt me everyday I just want it to end...I just want to die. 

It’s my second year of high school, cutting myself, my emo phase, trying get attention, crying, being basic teenager, it was bad day when I decided to make the decision, I had everything it was routine on each attempt shower, wear something comfortable, pills, chaser, maybe a letter, sleep.

First time was a failed. Enjoyed the attention at rehab or whatever it was.

Second time, swallow some pills and went to sleep, woke up disappointed, with upset stomach.

Third time almost succeed but my man at the moment got helped and you get the rest. 

I wanted to kill myself cause I was tired living with those thoughts, I was scared, I got lost in those thoughts, and the unanswered questions, feeling anxious, feeling confused, being that fat kid that didn’t get healthy, that never experience feeling like regular kid at the family events, that never reported to the kind police officer, that never put that man in jail, that never told her to stop, never pushed him off me, that never spoke a word.

Couple months ago I was in job corps, almost completed, had group of friends, supportive family, a man who made me the woman who I was happy with...but those thoughts once again appeared again, it gotten worse, it was like disease getting black and going everywhere.

This is my story...please you did nothing wrong, it’s okay to say no, it’s okay to defend yourself, it’s okay to be weak and be hold, it’s okay just get help, just be brave and be strong that’s asking a lot but I’m here, you’re not alone. Don’t do anything reckless, There is a way to get pass this, I don’t know who you are or what you are going thru but I love you so please don’t give what your thoughts want, do what you have to do to move forward, break something, yell, scream, shout at the ocean, cry in front of your friends, family, cat, etc. 

Thank you for reading my story. 

#why am i like this #its me #hi #it's okay #my story

[fr3aklike-me]

omg that’s so good !! and noooo ik that stress, that sucks omg but are you at least almost finished with the book now ?

omg hahahha i need to look these up, they sound so funny i love that. akjdjdjjs i’ve never seen that movie but it sounds hilarious just bc of the dinner scene. and omg, i looked up friends horror where it shows ross being creepy and it was so fucking funny, like he does say so much weird shit that sounds horrifying without context or a laugh track. LMAAO yesss that’s exactly what i mean those are too good, one lady i know and who’s house i go over to a lot always screams at her husband jokingly but it sounds so fucking real it’s so hard not to laugh, she brings his character flaws up and i didn’t even know she wasn’t serious till she told me one time hahahah but yesss omg extended family dinners are always so dramatic. it’s so funny, but yeah i don’t have any siblings. like if i’ve ever said/ever do say “my sister” it’s either my roommate or cousin or someone i’m babysitting LMAO it’s just easier sometimes. YES like if it were my parents money as a kid it was like “really, $15 is not that bad mom” but now i’m like are u fucking kidding me ?? OMG IKR they’re the best !!! my dad had one at one point and it was extremely huge and so comfy, i miss them, now i rly wanna go to the library. omgggg yesss the ones at bookstores are so good, i loooove the nostalgia of childrens bookstores too, they have such sweet memories. and awww omg the train set, that sounds so fun. akjdjdjjsj you’re so sweet, im seeing this and writing it in front of my dads house again, im in my car and i didn’t know nobody would be home and i don’t have a key, but unfortunately i parked right in front of the camera and i’m trying not to make it obvious but it’s harddddd. i have my door open and my legs are up on the door (it’s so difficult to describe it but i’ll send you a photo) and i keep like… tapping my feet together and everything at this bc ur so sweet. akdjjdjs stop it you are adorable truly<3 okay fair, i’ve never had to sleep next to extended family but i can imagine how hard it would be to. like even my mom, that woman is so hard to sleep near. my grandma one time when i was young and we were napping, i thought she was asleep but she shot up out of bed and sat straight up and just said thru her teeth “QUIT. RUSTLING.” and i was dying laughing, so yeah basically same with family, it’s hard to sleep next to them. but friends that i’m close with its very easy. okay so the girl and all the kids inthe house never went to school so they didn’t even know what things were, she didn’t know her address at all, or what that meant. she only knew 911 bc it was such a common thing. like it’s so sad, none of them knew much at all. yesss, it’s the weirdest thing, like that could be people in my neighborhood for all i know. it’s just crazy hearing about any crimes near where i live in general that are intense like that, im like wtf is going on ?! but yesss one of the older girls got popular on tiktok from sharing her story and they went on some shows too, it’s really nice to see people taking her in. and omg yesss, okay if it would be okay with you, could i message you ?

yesss i couldn’t help it, you’re always making me blushhh hehe kshdjdh. ooooh that’s a good idea, like the pricing of flights can go so back and forth so it makes sense why he’s doing that then and that’s so fun !! i’m so excited for you that you get to go !!! and idjsjjsdjjxfs you’re so cute omg, you do such a great job at making me feel cared for and comforted too, like i’ll literally read our conversations when im sad bc it makes me feel better, and that means so much to me, like it feels so genuine too and it makes me happy to read everything. and omg that’s the sweetest thing, that makes me smile so much that you feel like that, you deserve to always feel cared for and doted on, and it makes me so happy that i make you feel that way🥺yes, sadly. like sometimes it’ll be cooler but it’s never really cold enough to warrant more than just a long sleeve shirt yk ? maybe at night, but during the day it’s not winter-y at all. and yeah it seems like it would be nice until it got literally freezing in the snow. but not really, i go maybe once or twice a year, it’s only about an hour and a half away so i definitely want to go more !! it’s not too cold either, just snowy, unless there’s a blizzard !! (omg im excited to see the pics !!) (also did you get the ask with the songs in it ?)

-💟

oof, right, that stress is so much. I'm only about half into it, but that's better than nothing, so I'm satisfied, haha, because at least, then I have an idea of what's going on.

omg, so, Hereditary is actually super dark and is a horror movie, but there is one family dinner scene where the mom totally snaps at the son and starts screaming at him, and it's just complete silence jdjdkfj. it's super intense when watching, but I can see someone editing it LMAO. right, holy shit, some of the stuff he says sounds downright terrifying, it's so fucking weird LMAO. omggg when there are people and relatives who sound so earnest when they're angry or mad, but are truly joke - it's so hard whether you know to be scared or laugh kdksjdk. like, I'll just sit there like "... is it appropriate to laugh or just stare?" OMG NOT HER BRINGING UP HIS FLAWS. I would cry if my partner did that jokingly dkjksd. waitttt, the fact that you refer to those people as your sisters is actually the most endearing thing ever, I love that. do you and your roommate get along? I've never had one, so I'm always curious as to how it is. RIGHT, like $15?? I commute to school, and when I pay for it, I literally wince, even if it's just two dollars, because it all just piles up. omg your dad had one?? oof, I wanna get one so, so bad, they're so comfy and cozy to just sink in. oh, no, you're waiting out in the car rn?? I hope someone gets home soon, so you can be let in! aweeee, omg, that is so cute that you're tapping your feet like that while reading and writing. make sure to play some music too while waiting! djslkdj thank you <3 LMAO oh no, does your mom move around a lot? STOPPP IM CRYING AT YOUR GRANDMOTHER, HER SNAPPING IS SO FUNNY DKCDKKC. once, as a kid, my aunt and me were on the bed, and my mom was on the mattress on the floor, and I rolled over and fell on top of her. holy shit, so they truly had no interaction with or knowledge of the outside world. oh, yeah, for sure, when I hear about horrible cases near me, it is so weird and eery, especially because it was so close in proximity. I'm also so glad people are taking her in! and absolutely, you can definitely message me!

hehe <3 and I'm also so excited to go, as well! hopefully will be soon. I'm so, so happy the conversations are so comforting, and also, I'm always here if you wanna talk when feeling sad or anything. and omg, you should feel happy, you really do make me feel like I am being given so much attention and care. oooh, I see - see, I need to take a trip to that side of America. for us, it's April, yet we still are wearing jackets every now and then 😭 for sure, once it gets super freezing, it's very easy to get tired of it because it is so exhausting to travel in. wow, only an hour and a half? that is so fucking cool! it definitely sounds like a great place to visit. and I love that it's not too cold either. and omg, I'm so sorry for not saying earlier, but thank you so much for the ask on the songs! the reason I didn't respond to it directly was bc I had wanted to keep it in my Inbox so I can easily find it once I listen to the songs <3 but, omg, thank you so much for it, I'm so excited to read your thoughts on it

#answered asks #💟 anon

[tofuisms]

platonic.

ADRIAN TREVOR, our TOM HARDY fc is looking for a ARMY SQUAD / THREE TO FOUR PEOPLE connection who look like JON HAMM, MATT DAVIS, EVANGELINE LILLY, RASHIDA JONES / UP TO PLAYER who are 30+ YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( adrian was in the british army from ages seventeen to twenty six, when a serious injury brought his honorable career to a sudden end. he was the only survivor of a landmine related explosion, and a few of his friends died that day - but some of the people he was closest to survived, and i’d love for him to have their friendship, even now. they would have known him at his happiest and most put together, and have been witness to just how badly he fell apart when it was all said and done, and there’s just.. something really lovely to me in the idea of him clinging to their friendship more than he clings to any sort of relationship like that. ) ( vidar björk-thorson / 2-3 more )

familial.

ADRIAN & THEORA TREVOR, our TOM HARDY & KATE SIEGEL fcs are looking for their OLDER SIBLING who looks like BRADLEY COOPER, SKEET ULRICH, JONATHAN RHYS MEYERS, ALEXANDER SKARSGARD, AMY ACKER, WINONA RYDER, JENNIFER GARNER / ANY FC and is OVER 37. you DON'T have to contact prior to applying, though you CAN if you'd like at FIIDELIS or WVTCHFUL. ( the firstborn ! the way we see it, there's two ways to play it, and both are probably just as fun! option one is, they're only a few years older than the twins. after steve returned to life - john mulaney vc hooray! - he settled down for the quiet life, and diana continued to do her hero thing. somewhere in between of life, they had their own small family, and this would be their firstborn. they grew up alongside the twins in london, and probably had to deal with.... a lot, like the stage their little sister went thru where she stanned mom EXTRA HARD, and the time that their little bro went to the english equivalent of juvie. once they were in the latter teen years / had aged up to adult, all the kids kinda went their own ways - following their various dreams and whatnot until all roads led to here. but they were all VERY close growing up - understandably - and depending on how things have played out for them, they still stand a shot of being now! option two, while less fleshed out, could be that the eldest kid is actually from the first shot that steve and diana had at their relationship - conceived before steve died prior to the end of world war one, and still alive now because of inherited amazonian powers. they'd be... much older than adrian and theora in that case, but depending on how it's played, they could still totally have been close! maybe they spent an extended period in london w them, both to get close to steve and to know their sibs! maybe they just tried to make that a priority! who's ! to ! say! 

)ADRIAN & THEORA TREVOR, our TOM HARDY & KATE SIEGEL fcs are looking for their YOUNGER SIBLING who looks like MANDY MOORE, RACHEL BILSON, SERINDA SWAN, TYE SHERIDAN, MAX IRONS, DANIEL SHARMAN / ANY FC and ANY AGE / PREFERABLY OVER 25. ( okay! this connect is for the youngest of the bunch, and boy oh boy... what freedom there is. the only thing ENTIRELY set is that, like the twins and the elder sib - if option one of that connect is followed thru - they were born and raised in london, where steve settled down to have the wholesome fam life while diana continued hero-ing. like ALL the sibs, in their later teen years / adulthood, they went their own way and did their own thing - totally up to YOU where that brought them and what was going on in their life - but... all roads lead, x2, and here they are. we totally can't speak for the yet unpicked up older sib, but adrian and theora are both... wildly loyal individuals who care about and love their fam more than absolutely anything, so while they got the younger sib treatment from their older sib, they gave it, x2, when it came to this one. they would have been so, so loved - and honestly? very close, at least up until a certain point. everyone in the family eventually drifted, but that doesn't mean that the love has ever waned, or that the twins' over protectiveness of them has ever stopped. cos it hasn't. they love them more than words can say, and would probably be THRILLED to have them here. in fairness its probably the first time they've all been together with no end point in sight in years, the sum of their conversations probably over way too many skype calls and text messages up until now. we'd love to have them! small explanation for the 'preferably over 25'. steve and diana are kinda?? the perfect family for chars on the 'older' end of the spectrum, and we kinda love the idea of all the kids being actual adults™ at this stage, especially since the rest of the siblings are all in their mid thirties plus. )

GRÁINNE CASSIDY, our SOPHIE RUNDLE fc is looking for her SIBLINGS / TWO OLDER, TWO YOUNGER who look like FINN COLE, OLIVIA COOKE, CILLIAN MURPHY, EMILY BROWNING, DOUGLAS BOOTH / ANY FACE CLAIM who are anything from 20-40 YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( do u want to play a member of a crime fam, but ur not sure which to pick? do u want to play an irish char, but dont know what to do? if the answer is yes to the first and no to the second, but ur ok with settling, then boy o boy do i have the crime fam for you ! mutant on their fathers side and mobster on their mothers, the cassidy-sullivan’s are honestly… p hot, if i say so myself. their matriarch was left the only member of the fam after they were wiped out in gotham about ten years ago, and now they’re all getting older, the kids are restarting that specific fam business. i love the idea of them all having like… conflicting ideals, conflicting ideas for their fam, conflicting LIVES. gráinne fancies herself the head of the family right now, and at least for the minute is continuing their loyalty to the falcone’s. her sibs could want to challenge her… could be happy working alongside her… could mayb not even wanna be apart of the family - it’s honestly up to YOU ! )

MAKENA THURMAN, our ZOE KRAVITZ fc is looking for her ADOPTIVE SISTER / HOPE SUMMERS connection who looks like KIMIKO GLENN, ALISON SUDOL, RILEY KEOGH, DEMET OZDEMIR / ANY FC who is 26+ YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( i also play hope’s “grandmother”, jean, but i mostly just !! really want kena’s fave and most badass big sis !! )

NIKKI BARTON, our PHOEBE TONKIN fc is looking for her ALMOST FOSTER PARENT / CANON OR OTHERWISE who looks like PLAYERS CHOICE and is  PARENT AGED. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( right after her mom died and before her dad TECHNICALLY kidnapped her, nikki bounced from foster home to foster home a lot over a period of about three years. they most all ended badly, but there was one - the one right at the end, the one she left when her dad came back - that stuck with her, because a part of her was… sort of hoping they would want to keep her forever. they brought a softness to her that she had been pretty quickly losing, supported her when needed, were strict when they had to be, and have always been a pretty big what if in her life - making the idea of them reappearing and nikki encountering them at this point in her messy life… really interesting to me. )

NORA LANCE-QUEEN, our JOSEFINE FRIDA PETTERSEN fc is looking for her MOTHER / DINAH LAUREL LANCE who looks like ( SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR, CHRISTINA HENDRICKS, ADRIANNA PALICKI, DIANE KRUGER, MICHELLE PFEIFFER / ANY FC ) who is  MOM YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( nora is embarking on a new char arc that’s basically.. going to lead into her becoming a vigilante, smth she never rly wanted before now, and def like.. laying groundwork for her to Someday, whenever dinah steps down, mayhaps taking on the black canary mantle. she loves her dad, but she STANS her mom, so..pls )

NORA LANCE-QUEEN, our JOSEFINE FRIDA PETTERSEN fc is looking for her  FATHER / OLIVER QUEEN who looks like NIKOLAJ COSTER WALDAU, CHARLIE HUNNAM, MATT CZURCHY, RYAN GOSLING / ANY FC  who is DAD YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( oliver queen may have his - many - faults, but nora was honestly… always sort of a daddy’s girl, and that’s an unfortunate trait she may never rly lose. pls bring green arrow dad. i can’t offer much, but i can give u all the angst u could want. )

NORA LANCE-QUEEN, our JOSEFINE FRIDA PETTERSEN fc is looking for her TWO OLDER SIBLINGS who look like  BRIE LARSON, TOBY REGBO, CANDICE ACCOLA, DANIEL SHARMAN / ANY FC  who is 25+ YEARS OLD . you DON’T  have to contact prior to applying. ( it is honestly… one of my many dreams for nora to have a couple older sibs that she’s actually, like. u know. pretty close to! im not saying it couldnt go the other way bc ofc that’s just as interesting to explore, but im.. big hoe for the idea of three sibs standing shoulder to shoulder against the world and everything it may throw at them. )

RAMONA DARKHOLME, our MADCHEN AMICK fc is looking for her ELDEST CHILD ( MUST HAVE NAME BEGINNING WITH R ) connection who looks like WILLIAM MOSELEY, LILY JAMES, TOBY REGBO, WILLA FITZGERALD, DOUGLAS BOOTH, IMOGEN POOTS / ANY FC who is 30-35 YEARS OLD. you DO have to contact prior to applying at OFDARKHOLMES or DISCORD ( jean grey rail me challenge#5427 ). ( ok … hear me out. mayb im wrong. mayb im right. but i think… that romy having a kid that’s on the older end of the spectrum could b pretty fun, and i have … a whole sort of. concept for them. so. back in the early years of her relationship with her baby daddy ( he is an npc named abe ), and back when she was… very young, and VERY committed to the brotherhood cause - there came to be an accident. one that was loved, don’t get me wrong, but an accident nonetheless. at that point, romy… couldn’t care for a kid. she just wasn’t prepared for one, and it kind of parralells what happened roughly ten years later, in my mind - one child she knew she wasn’t prepped for and gave up for that very reason, and two that she could have given the world to but had to give up because the world said no. but here’s the CONCEPT ; i’d love if they could have been raised by raven, and if romy… was still in their life, as they grew. moreso than that, i’d love if they were past the awkward stage of “oh, so, i’m ur mom”, or at least… both on the same page about that, and think it could be a super neat dynamic if they had kind of gone from… mother / child to older sister / younger sister cookie cutout relationships to something more friendly. i’m essentially flying by the seat of my pants, here, and i can be talked into ANYTHING ( ask my friends, they’ll tell you ), but i’d love to have… a cute lil romy darkholme / darkholme extended fam , ok. pls. allow this to b a thing. ur grandmom / mayb adoptive mom is raven and ur grandfather is logan FOR CRYING OUT LOUD )

TRIXIE ESPINOZA, our CHRISTIAN SERRATOS fc is looking for her FATHERS / DAN ESPINOZA & LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR who look like JAY HERNANDEZ, ALFONSO HERRERA, GABRIEL LUNA, ANY MEXICAN FC ( DAN ) / DIEGO LUNA, RICKY WHITTLE, TOM ELLIS, ANY FC ( LUCIFER ) who are 40+ ( DAN ) & 1000+ ( LUCIFER ) YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( healthy coparents, unite !! chloe and dan are two of lapd’s best and brightest, and trix loves her parents so much - but she ALSO loves her stepfather, lucifer, and he’s 100% on the same level in her mind as her birth parents. )

TRIXIE ESPINOZA, our CHRISTIAN SERRATOS fc is looking for her MOTHER / CHLOE DECKER who looks like LAUREN GERMAN, VERA FARMIGA, WINONA RYDER, SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR, AMY ACKER, PLAYERS CHOICE who is  40+ YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( if u have seen lucifer, then u already have a pretty good idea of trixie’s dynamic with her mom! her dad is great and all, but… chloe was the one who was REALLY there for her, ya know? i kinda had it hced that chloe is now with lucifer cause that’s how the show was heading to and i didn’t imagine anyone snagging anymore lucifer chars, but i’m! definitely open to changing that! just gimme her mom pls! )

VICTORIA CREED, our STELLA MAEVE fc is looking for a “HALF-SIBLING” / COUSIN connection who looks like DJ COTRONA, JASON RALPH, KATIE CASSIDY, TINASHE, ANTHONY RAMOS, PLAYERS CHOICE who is ANY AGE / PREFERABLY 26+. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( so. yall best know yall can do what yall WANT, its just.. originally when i played vicki i had a wc for a “half-brother”, and i was thinking about it recently and think it could be… kinda fun. SO. this is for a kid of victor creed - either.. biologically, or another one that he just kinda . stole - that vicki actually knew during certain points of her life, because for the most part, she was pretty isolated. for whatever reason - maybe he just wanted someone to keep an eye on his investment or whatever - victor allowed these two to interact a bit more, and depending on how they were to one another, i feel that a certain loyalty definitely could have developed between them. vicki got fucked over a couple times and left in, like, japan for 9 months and a yemen prison for another six and incidents like that have dotted her life, but im kinda thinking this “half-sibling” could have been the one who.. helped her out, or was stuck there alongside her. gimme! )

ZIVA MIZRAHI, our INBAR LAVI fc is looking for her HALF BROTHER connection who looks like SHILOH FERNANDEZ, JUSTIN BALDONI, JULIAN MORRIS, JUSSIE SMOLLETT, XAVIER DOLAN / UP TO PLAYER ( tho the named are preferred ) who is 30+. you DO have to contact prior to applying at SICVIITAEST or DISCORD ( jean grey rail me challenge#5427 ). ( things to know: they were both born in tel aviv, israel, and they share the same father - an oc named joseph, who is now dead. neither of ziva’s birth parents were good people, but what his mother was like and what happened to her is up to you. they were raised together, however briefly, before they were separated - ziva was seven, and he was either a small bit younger or older. both of them were experimented upon, though like prev, it’s really up to you whether or not that resulted in any sort of enhancements. she became a ward of shield, and where he ended up is completely up to you - just like his personality and whatnot, though i’ll admit straight up that the main reason i’m looking for him and the main reason i waNT him is cause i would love… for him to b a drumroll, please - villain. w her being raised to be a hero and him being raised the opposite it would create a rly [ forgive my choice of phrase ] hot contrast, and make them.. two sides of a literally same coin. it would also b. pretty fun to explore both of their feelings, and both of their motivations - would ziva want to try and see him better? would he want her to join him/think more on his side of things? would it instead take the turn of her wanting to b the one to take him down, or vice versa, and would either b capable of that? it’s fun to imagine so ! do the thing ! )

romantic.

ADRIAN TREVOR, our TOM HARDY fc is looking for an EX-FLING / MOTHER OF HIS CHILD connection who looks like EVA GREEN, MILA KUNIS, EVA LONGORIA, HOLLY MARIE COMBS who is 30+ YEARS OLD. you DO have to contact prior to applying at FIIDELIS. ( so! i won’t go into everything about this one here cause i wanna try keep it short, but basically… they were on and off and never really an official item for years - way back to when he was still in the army, meeting up and having relations whenever he was home / free for a while - and were… complete opposites. on the surface, it seemed as if she was the sweet and innocent angel, and he was this rough geezer. in actuality, SHE’S kinda cold hearted - in the best of ways - and he’s the softie, but… not many people rly knew that truth. anyway, they came to an end right around the time he got into his short lived relationship + marriage, and he always thought of her as a big “what if”… right up to last year when he discovered that after they had ended, she had moved to the states and had his son. the kid is seven now, and she never told him for obvious reasons, but he’s here only to try and make something work - he never WANTED to have a kid, but he’s not going to deny him now he knows. we can talk out p much everything, but ! yeah ! )

RAMONA DARKHOLME, our MADCHEN AMICK fc is looking for her EX-FLINGS / MAX. FOUR who look like WINONA RYDER, SOFIA VERGARA, PEDRO PASCAL, HUGH DANCY / UP TO PLAYER and are 35+ YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( romy might have lost the love of her life, but she did not lose her sex drive. i’m sure there’s a better way i could have worded that, but… whatever. over the years since her fiance passed, romy has tried many times to move on - and that means she has quite a few exes scattered about the place, all of whom she has a different dynamic with. like any ex / current fling connect, i’m most interested in discussing how it started and all with people who want to do it, cause i think that’s the best way of making unique dynamics! )

other.

ADRIAN TREVOR, our TOM HARDY fc is looking for a NEW BOSS / ANYONE WHO WORKS connection who looks like UP TO PLAYER and is 30+ YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( right now, adrian’s main job is pouring coffee for millennials at starbucks. he’s ex-army and current gang, and he’s really not got that much going for him - but it’d be nice, if there was someone out there in a better place, job wise, willing to give him a shot. he needs to get that bread! )

ADRIAN TREVOR, our TOM HARDY fc is looking for a NEW BOSS x2 / ANY PRESS ADJACENT CHARACTER WHO WORKS connection who looks like UP TO PLAYER who is 30+ YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( can you tell that i literally… do not know what to refer to this connection as? lmao. anyway he’s an independent journalist - who writes things on like… avocado recipes and shit for whoever will hire him at a time - and i’m not sure on the newspaper / general press situation here, but i’d love for someone to read his writing and take him on as some sort of regular reporter. i imagine it would remain secondary to his “main” job if only because he really needs to keep himself afloat here, but over time, i’d love to see him succeed and actually become the journalist who writes about relevant things that he’s always dreamt of being. )

EMMA FROST, our AMBER HEARD fc is looking for her HELLFIRE CLUB INNER CIRCLE / MAX. FIVE who look like ANY FC and are 30+ YEARS OLD. you DO have to contact prior to applying at WHIITEQUEENS or DISCORD. ( out with the old, in with the new. after emma’s hellfire club takeover, the old inner circle was removed, and she’s now formed her own out of members she trusts. they’d have neat titles all sourced from a chess board, and that, plus how they met / what their connection to emma would be because they would def have one is mostly why i’m making it a contact thing cos ! i’d like for us to smooth those details out! )

EMMA FROST, our AMBER HEARD fc is looking for her SECRETARY & PERSONAL ASSISTANT’S / MAX. TWO who look like ANY FC and are 25+ YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( emma runs frost international, a multi-billion dollar company that deals mostly in transportation, but has started to branch out into electronics. its a full time thing and she actually… doesn’t spend all her time on it, because she’s also dedicated to remaining an active professor and is splitting time between everything. she does it quite well i’d like to imagine, but she definitely needs the added help, and that would be these chars! bonus points if they’re mutants! )

GRÁINNE CASSIDY, our SOPHIE RUNDLE fc is looking for the FAMILY OF HER DECEASED SPOUSE connection who look like ANY FACE CLAIMS and are ANY AGE. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( gráinne married at twenty six to the self professed love of her young life - someone who was better than her, who may or may not have known the full extent of the cassidy-sullivan crime families activities, but who loved her back, regardless of all else. theirs was a whirlwind romance - they had known each other before, surely, but had gotten ahead of themselves quickly once together - begun in spring and married in winter ; and when the leaves began to turn once more, and new life began to bloom, gráinne’s love was taken from her. it was her fault. whether they died for her or died because of her, details can be smoothed out, but the blame rests on only one woman’s shoulders, and their family surely KNOWS. give her people who resent that she exists. people who can’t understand why a light of their lives was extinguished, while gráinne cassidy gets to continue. give her people who can fuel her own feelings of responsibility. )

MAKENA THURMAN, our ZOE KRAVITZ fc is looking for a BOSS connection who look like JASON MOMOA and is 30+ YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( kena works at the karma klub as an accountant and booking agent, and i’d ! love for her manager / owner of the klub / honestly… whatever tf / to be a jason momoa face, just because… their pics are supes cute and i think it’d be really sweet if kena had this older guy in her life who’s almost, like… someone guiding her? they’re in the scene longer than her, they can provide some tips and tricks, and just past the job aspect.. neither of her parents are here, so it would be nice for her to have someone who can sort of step into that role and be someone who she has learnt to be able to go to and confide in, when needed. )

MAKENA THURMAN, our ZOE KRAVITZ fc is looking for her EX HOUSEMATE connection who looks like PIPPA SOO, ALFIE ENOCH, HAYLEY LAW, JOHN BOYEGA / UTP who is 25+. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( in the years before her daughter was born, makena wasn’t always the most stable of people. she’s also never exactly been the WORST, but… she’s always had a lot of issues with keeping her emotions in check, and she used to be horribly selfish and petty, at the worst of times. after becoming friends in college, she and this character decided to get an apartment together and split the costs - but after a few months of this, shit hit the fan, and kena fucked up in a way that she couldn’t go back from, resulting in them kicking her out. they’ve barely spoken since, and she harbors.. a lot of resentment, for that fateful event. )

NIKKI BARTON, our PHOEBE TONKIN fc is looking for a EX-CLIENTS connection who looks like UP TO PLAYER who is ANY AGE you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( i’m gonna keep this one a little vague, cause.. i wanna leave it open to multiple people, and i think every single one of those could have a different sort of dynamic with her. nikki used to work as a drugrunner for a major dealer named callum. he was, for want of a better description - an abusive piece of shit, and he continued to be that right up until nikki killed him in self defense. HOWEVER, before he died and she got carted off to jail, nikki used to do a lot of jobs for him, and they led her across states. she would have rubbed shoulders with a lot of not so great people, but also some kinda ok ones. some might have heard what happened, others won’t and might be kinda confused about what the FUCK happened to their supply, but either way.. i want. also. callum coulda had some other helpers. idk. i just want it ALL. ) ( bea zsasz & others )

RAMONA DARKHOLME & ABRAHAM MUELLER, our MADCHEN AMICK fc is looking for their EX-BROTHERHOOD GROUP MEMBERS connection who look like WINONA RYDER, PEDRO PASCAL, JADA PINKETT SMITH, ANGELA BASSETT, HALLY BERRY, NORMAN REEDUS, KEANU REEVES / PLAYERS CHOICE, MUST BE 40+ THO who are 45+ YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( any of them can maybe be kids of canons, depending ON the canon?? anyway. all of them - preferably about.. five, ig - are surviving members of the brotherhood group that romy ran, some nineteen years ago. they all worked together for YEARS, moving around europe a lot but spending some time settled in rural germany, which was ultimately where their particular crusade seemed to come to an end. intolerant humans attacked them, most were killed, and those that ran were assumed dead / assumed they were the only survivors, pretty much ‘til now. romy back means they’re probably gonna maybe want to restart what they were doing before, and this connection could rly go.. any way. maybe romy - ran into one of them at some point in the past, and relieved they were alive, kept in contact to call them someday, leading to their reunion now. maybe they’ve seen a familiar name in the paper, or on the paragon website. maybe this is just where the wind has blown them. i lov the idea of this squad, ‘kay, cos.. they spent a chunk of their time together, and for romy, they were less friends more #fam ) 

TRIXIE ESPINOZA, our CHRISTIAN SERRATOS fc is looking for LUCIFER CANONS / MAZIKEEN, AMENADIEL, LINDA MARTIN, ELLA LOPEZ, CHARLOTTE RICHARDS who look like LESLEY-ANN BRANDT ( MAZE ) / DB WOODSIDE, IDRIS ELBA, ANY BLACK MALE ( AMENADIEL ) / RACHAEL HARRIS, RACHAEL TAYLOR, KRISTEN BELL, ANY FC ( LINDA ) / AIMEE GARCIA, MARIA LAAS, EVA LONGORIA, ANY MEXICAN OR PUERTO RICAN FC ( ELLA ) / TRICIA HELFER, JAMEELA JAMIL, CONSTANCE WU, ANY FC ( CHARLOTTE ) who are ANY AGE. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( considering just how interlocked everyone has become on the show, between… maze and linda and amenadiel, ella working with everyone, charlotte being with dan, etc - i like to kinda imagine… they’re all a huge, vaguely blessed family. it would b nice not to b the only lucifer canon rocking around the place ! )

TRIXIE ESPINOZA, our CHRISTIAN SERRATOS fc is looking for ILLEGAL PATIENTS who look like UP TO PLAYER and are ANY AGE. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( trix is a med student, and she does a lot of work at the local hospital - but i also imagine that over the last few years, she’s sort of made a name for herself in the lowkey sense as someone who’s willing to treat patients out of hours / out of the hospital / etc on the downlow. if your character is a vigilante / hero / villain / etc, who sometimes gets themselves fuckt up and doesn’t want to make the big deal it could be by getting treated officially… hit her up ! she’ll fix you up for free, and she’ll do it discreetly. )

TRIXIE ESPINOZA, our CHRISTIAN SERRATOS fc is looking for MORTUARY COWORKERS who look like UP TO PLAYER and are ANY AGE. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( so !! trixie currently works at the local morgue, and as of right now… i think she’s the only one who does? and i’d love for her to have some coworkers there, cause it’s obviously such a heavy job, and i think… while it doesn’t phase trix, it would still be nice for her to have people who can relate to how TOUGH it can be sometimes, and who she can kind of have developed a little something something with. )

VICTORIA CREED, our STELLA MAEVE fc is looking for VICTIMS who look like UP TO PLAYER and are ANY AGE. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( twenty six years spent being little more than another weapon in victor creed’s hands means that victoria has… a lot of blood on her hands. i dare say that none of it is blood she wanted to spill, but the fact remains that she never really knew enough torefuse. she’s done a lot of things she’s not proud of, and she’s hurt a lot of people - meaning she’s going to be spending a great deal of her very long life trying, in vain, to make amends in some way. i want for her to encounter people who she’s hurt. either directly, or that… she hurt their family or distant family before alongside victor, and either she recognizes them and seeks them out, or they recognize her and seek her out. give her people who shout and scream about what she’s done, and people who can’t believe she’s being allowed walk around and keep on living. give her people who know she was just another victim of a psychopath, who could maybe give her something she’s never had before - forgiveness - and make her feel a way she’s also… never felt before. give her all sorts of connections under this heading bc i think it’s unrealistic if she has none. )

ZIVA MIZRAHI, our INBAR LAVI fc is looking for her SENIOR AGENTS SHE SPENT TIME WITH GROWING UP / LIMITLESS connection who look like UTP and who are 28+ YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( ziva basically lived at headquarters from the time she was brought in - age six - to now, and while nick and natasha were her primary caregivers, she was often shuttled between different agents during down periods or whatnot. basically, if she for some reason couldn’t stay at shield itself, or there was a holiday - like thanksgiving, christmas, easter, her birthday - coming up, she’d be taken in briefly by a senior agent or their family and given a place to stay for a bit before such a time as she returned. )

ZIVA MIZRAHI, our INBAR LAVI fc is looking for her PERSON SELLING SHIELD INTEL connection who looks like UTP and who is ANY AGE. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( they would be a shield agent, but what separates them from most is for whatever reason - be it nefarious or something closer in line with money troubles - they’ve been selling information on shield to the highest bidder. five years ago, ziva was sent on a mission with a handful of agents she had never really worked with before, and because of information that they gave - and the fact that they, or another, heavily implied that because of her shield upbringing ziva would be the one with the most intel on that team - the mission was compromised from the get go, and while ziva was captured, everyone else was wiped out. she suffered over a year at the hands of her captors and meanwhile, everyone back home fully believed that she was dead. what they did could weigh on them, or it might not. if it’s a case of something more innocent whereby they’ve needed the money gained from selling secrets, it could even be that they didn’t realize that the info they were giving was going to lead that particular buyer where it did. again, if not, it could be because they have a grudge against ziva for some reason we can talk out or smth. i’m v much into the idea of this and ! would love for it to b taken ! so pls ! do the thing ! )

#ooc.

[awesome-brick]

stupid shit my friends and i have done/said over the years

this is going to be an ongoing list, i’ll reblog and add to it every so often with new material. if you want a full story, let me know a “ ^ ” means that it relates to the previous item feel free to tag yourself

chugged five double shot espressos in an hour and almost died

wobbled into our lounge after a party one night, completely unaware that he had ripped the front of his pants and his dick was completely out

got completely lost in the mardi gras parade with a dead cell phone, cause his girlfriend abandoned him

^ and then somehow pissed off and got a double k.o. on a massive redneck dude named keith who was probably thrice my friend’s size

^ him calling me when he came to, saying “help, i’m dead” to my other friend who replied, “hi dead, _i’m dad” _before he passed out and disconnected

peed in a bush, on campus, in broad daylight, in the middle of our conversation, while two hot girls were passing by

^ did it again ten minutes later

brought a violin to a frat party, to play while drunk (there’s still some videos of that floating around somewhere)

gotten stabbed by some dude after coming home from a different party

during campus tours, as a tour group was coming out of the elevator and we (4 of us) were going in; waited until right as the door was closing and said very loudly so they could hear, “SO HEY YOU GUYS WANNA GO SMOKE SOME POT?”

 camped out in the floor lounge for the entirety of finals week building a settlement in a minecraft server

“i’ll have you know, I once injected _five whole marijuanas” “_oh shit can’t fuck with this guy”

organized a candlelight vigil for Sparky, a raccoon that allegedly jumped into a power transformer and cut off power to most of campus, canceling classes for a day and a half (over 200 people attended)

sat on the floor in the right of two elevators in our dorm, covered in blankets. when somebody would walk into the elevator, we’d pop our heads up in succession and say “welcome to Right Elevator Inc. If you look to your left, you’ll find the informations desk.” “How may we help you today?” and as they were exiting, “DON’T FORGET TO RATE AND REVIEW US ON YELP”

the tale of The Bridgebuilder

gave so little fucks for the chem test that he went in his pj’s, wearing a bathrobe and topknot. thus becoming notorious around campus as the “Chem Ninja”

“it’s hard to date girls taller than me. Given that i’m five foot two, I don’t exactly get a lot of options here”

actually smoked legit weed (instead of fake weed) onstage in the middle of a performance of a play

got “sexiled” (kicked out of the room for sex) by his roommate three times during orientation week, as in before freshman year even began

bought a wheelchair from goodwill on two different occasions bc it was <$10, so now he just has two wheelchairs for no reason

sold his gamecube and all his games to another friend for $50, all of which went to buying weed

^ one of the games was an original GC copy of Pikmin 2 which would go for about 100 alone on the internet these days

^ he also burned through (heh) all of that weed in a day

somehow woke up half naked in a parking lot, (just like the CaH card) missing exactly $20 cash. he had more, but he was only missing $20

somehow got sexiled out of his room by two other people, neither of which lived there

one dude that can spit mad freestyle bars, but only when he’s high

bought an IKEA storage shelf and generic painting to make our dorm room look _even more _like a hotel room than it already did

made a tally count to keep track of how many times my suitemate locked me out of the bathroom when he wasn’t in there (final tally was 215)

earned the title of Il Duche for his drunk!self

“It was not my intention to make out with your sister!”

^ he accidentally made out with each of his girlfriend’s siblings, on separate occasions

hooked up with someone over the summer, only to find out afterwards that they were seven years older

“mom, i’ve had more relationships than you”

_^ _(he’s at i think #29)

went to the mcdonalds drive-thru, he wanted chicken nuggets but didn’t know where the “mc” prefix went. it came out as something along the lines of “uh can i mchave a mcchicken mcnuggets and a large mcchocolate mcmilkshake” 

^ we each wanted separate orders that time, so we had to drive around four times in a row. they were so tired of us by that point

missed an uber because he was too busy saying goodbye to literally everyone at the party he knew

said to a police officer, deadass, “i’ll let you walk me home, but there’s no way in hell i’m getting on that fucking bike”

^ afterwards, tried to jot down the officer’s name, badge number, and name of his superior so he could “put in a good word for the guy” (he was so wasted he had to sit down to write it all out)

dude getting so wasted at a party he started timeskipping, thought the year was 2025

gave my friend a glass of water at a party cause he was fading in and out, needed some water. to gauge his mental state, i ask him “what are you drinking” “water” “what’s the chemical formula for that?” deadass replied “hcl” without missing a beat and he keeps drinking

had a drunken rap battle with some famous local rapper at a party (my friend actually won)

crawled from the taxi to the apartment, cause he couldn’t walk

^ “I said one thing, ‘don’t say anything.’ One thing. Of course, you said something.”

so wasted he couldn’t get off the floor, the owner of the apartment going “you gotta go, dude!” “bruh” “i’m not your bruh, now get up”

“wake up with a random mexican guy in your bed. College, amirite?”

all three of us have “slept” in this one friend of ours’ bed, but only literally and not sexually. one of us cuddled with her and others platonically, another slept in the bed while she wasn’t there, and a third had passed out and she let him use her bed that night

"Marcus, you’re a socialist, why don’t you distribute some of them hot dimes”

“Rainbows, unicorns, Xanax- The classic stuff.”

(arguing about which pocket the phone goes in) “You put the phone in the butt, and the hands in the front”

my friend Robert, who is “the weebiest weeb to ever have weebd”

the fact that i accidentally always cockblock my friend unintentionally by virtue of being ace

my friend, (a dude) showing up to a date only to find out she’s a lesbian 

the guy who routinely calls his exes while drunk. apparently he has a “system”, as to which exes he calls depending on how drunk he is

fencing practice on the courtyard

[sarcastically] “okay well as a straight, white male in politics, now i have to oppress you”

all of us basically ganging up on and whipping like the only white kid in our friend group (who’s like five feet tall) with our belts

barrel rolling down the mountain after someone stopped him from going home with a girl cause he was too wasted

the guy who asked his crush of 4yrs out in his valedictorian graduation speech, only to get shot down instantly (like jesus christ rip)

^ his mom to him, “why don’t you love me as much as you love her”

guy’s family owns a quiznos, so his go-to pickup line is, “hey, i own a quiznos, want me to make you a sandwich?” (times successful: none)

my friend’s little brother was reprimanded by his parents, cause he was reading up on buddhism, “i mean, I didn’t see what the issue was. Worst case, you’re learning buddhism, best case...you’re learning buddhism”

the time the timeskipping friend found himself a confederate soilder in the civil war era, but in an AU where the south won

^ he looks at my face, points at me, looks like he's about to start laughing hysterically, "you're fucked", "why" "because you're brown, and the south won" (keep in mind, this dude is 100% filipino and almost as brown as i am)

^ he starts rattling off some bullshit jargon about what division he was in, his name, blah blah blah, but we look it up later and everything exept his personal details lined up with actual historical fact, down to where his unit was based and the name of the commanding officer, noting details that even our resident historian hadn't even heard of before

^aaand he wouldn't go to sleep until we played dixie for him on a continuous loop

one of my friends has a habit of becoming both kleptomaniac and amnesiac when he’s drunk, so here’s a tally of the stuff he’s stolen, some of which we don’t even know where it came from (almost all of these have hilarious stories behind them so please ask);

pair of trash cans and recycling bins

half a bed frame

a large ten gallon paint bucket

pack of frozen tortillas

giant industrial fucking cinderblock, which was about the size of his abdomen

a pair of white shorts (he didn't own any)

a full set worth of coasters and shot glasses

a lawnmower

a vacuum cleaner

a broom

a sprinkler

a traffic cone (one of the tall skinny ones)

a banged up car door

a pack of cards

half empty paint cans

half a bra

#tag yourself #my life #my stuff #funny #long post