#no offense to actual pigeons

[dooareyastudy]

my little sister is in Paris with her boyfriend (cute little holiday) but they are the worst suckers you can imagine (des pigeons !!!) : they are having breakfast at the Eiffel Tower, the croissants are 5 EUROS each and they look exaclty like the ones you buy frozen to cook yourself at home, probably the worst croissant of all Paris

AND considering you have to pay to go up the Tower, it's a VERY expensive croissant (with a view, sure)

#if you go to paris #dont be pigeons #no offense to actual pigeons #dont buy lame croissants at the eiffel tower #she is going to come back home and whine abt having no money left lmaoooo

[walpu]

[Kicks down door. Gets in. Fixes the door. Sits down and puts this on the table]

Aventurine x Halovian!reader, your honor.

Halovians, stars and icons across the universe. Shrewd, charismatic, and few can peer past their mysterious and elegant smiles. Not to mention the radiating frequencies of their halo can convey the nature of their thoughts in the form of telepathy.

Tldr: Aventurine can't decipher what's on their mind for shit unless they convey so.

Such beauty, such grace, but they will be a lost finch like it's another Tuesday. Despite the common knowledge that Halovians are stars and icons across the universe, they're more... Free and out in the wild (no responsibility to serve The Family, travels the cosmos alone, etc etc) and is unafraid to convey their emotions in another way.

Their wings would brush his face for giggles. When agitated they'd plop their head on a table and flap their wings, tapping the table rapidly, same goes with happiness. Although shrewd, and won't let anyone sense their true feelings they'd cup his face and give him smooches. Asking how's his day? Anything new happening? They brought something and he might've like it because it reminded them of him.

Their heart would sing with joy and mourn with his sadness. What did he do to score an angel such as them?

(Hmmm, cheese-)

- 🪽

I'm a blind rat and at first I misread Halovian as Heliobus and was like huh okay it's something to think about actually 😭

I really like the idea, it was fun to write!

Aventurine x Halovian!reader

characters - Aventurine

notes - gn!reader, fluffy, a bit of a hurt/comfort, no beta

Okay first of all since Halovians quite literally can translate their thoughts and feelings to someone, not to mention how shrewd they are, I feel like Aven would have hard time relaxing around you at first. He is used to be the one who can see through people while hiding behind the nonchalant mask. And now not only he's the one being read like an open book, he also can't decipher you.

It's sort of a challenge for him at first. He learns to see even the smallest changes in the way you act, how your voice trembles ever so slightly, how your wings flap adorably when you experience intense emotions. He doesn't notice when he starts observing you not out of desire to protect himself but out of curiosity and then out of adoration.

Man he falls hard.

There's just something so precious to him how you never use your abilities against him. Yes it's a bare minimum but it's still something special to him okay.

He would absolutely adore your wings. Wouldn't touch them without your permission of course, but once he knows you're comfortable with this he always tries to caress them in some ways.

Would try to spread them carefully to admire them.

If you don't take offense in being compared to birds, he would give you some bird-relared nickname.

Someone on twitter pointed out that female Halovians have bigger wings but smaller hallows and it's the opposite for the male Halovians.

So he would pick a bird to nickname you after depending in the size of your wings lol

And if you think it would be some cute bird, then, well, you're not wrong, it's usually something endearing BUT he would NOT hesitate to call you his pigeon or pelican when he feels like teasing you.

While Aventurine never hides his origin and is, sadly, used to people's comments about him being an Avgin, it would still hit very differently when people would whisper about you, a Halovian, being with an Avgin. He usually doesn't say anything about it, just hiding behind his smile. Even if the mask cracks, showing obvious discomfort. Remember the face he made when Ratio brought up his origin? Yeah, this.

Please shut everyone up. Doesn't matter if you give them an unsettling biblically accurate angel looking ass smile and tell them to Be Quite or if you straight up tell them to stfu, just let Aven see that you are willing to defend him and your relationship.

Reassure him too. He will laugh softly and tell you that you worry too much, that he knows you love him, but he would still treasure your words.

Okay back to positive stuff, he would help you to groom your wings!!! Would learn all about it too. Please compliment his needy ass on his wing-grooming skills, he didn't sleep for the whole night trying to learn how to do it correctly.

Be ready for a lot of silly questions he asks just to pester you and get your attention.

"darling, my darling, and what would happen if you'd throw your hallow as a frisbee? would it come back?" "it's sharp enough to cut through rock, Aven". "ohhh, pretty but deadly, just how I like it~"

Adores it when you tickle his face with your wings, he always leans into the caress with the expression of a spoiled lapcat.

Would find it funny if you'd use your telepathy for silly things. Like he takes you to some business meeting with him or, on the country, you take him somewhere with you, and it's just boring as hell. So you sit there, smile mysteriously, all while telepathically whinig to Aventurine how this place sucks and how you hate all those people. It takes a lot for him not to laugh.

If you flap your wings during kisses then it's the end of him I fear.

#Hsr #honkai star rail #walp's writing #aventurine x reader #hsr aventurine #aventurine #reader insert

[thecreaturecodex]

Ipupiara

Image © Wizards of the Coast

[Sponsored by @some-trash-pigeon. The merrow is the Irish version of the mermaid, and like many folkloric mermaids, typically the men appear grotesque and the women gorgeous. The name has been in D&D since the 1e AD&D Monster Manual, and a similar version appears in Pathfinder. The AD&D/PF merrow is an aquatic ogre, which didn't get a unique stat block until Pathfinder. D&D 5e decided to revamp the merrow, and I gotta say, it's near the top of the list for "biggest art glow-up". And, since the folkloric merrow is a merman rather than a big aquatic guy, it's more accurate to boot.

So why the name "ipupiara"? Well, for one thing, "merrow" is taken in Pathfinder. For another, the ipupiara is a Brazilian mer-thing that is actually oversized, and even has whiskers! That name was suggested to me by monster researcher (and my girlfriend) @abominationimperatrix.]

Ipupiara CR 5 CE Monstrous Humanoid This creature has a humanoid torso and the head and tail of a monstrous fish. It has barbels hanging from its underslung jaw, and fins grow along its head, shoulders and arms. It is sinuous from the waist down, and wears shell jewelry and other trophies and trinkets.

The ipupiara are mutant merfolk, the descendants of merfolk who ventured into the Abyss and adapted to its hostile waters. They can be found on any Abyssal layer with aqueous environments, and their scaly hides are capable of withstanding extremes of heat and cold. Although they have no ability to traverse the planes on their own, they are often found on the Material Plane, where they are a menace to sailors and fishermen. The first ipupiara were worshippers of Dagon, and the majority of them still serve the Shadow in the Sea.

Ipupiara are bullies above all else and tend to target the smallest, weakest victims when they have a chance. They carry barbed harpoons, which they use to latch onto prey, before squeezing them to death in their muscular coils. Ipupiara string up the mutilated corpses of their victims as territorial warnings, typically missing their eyes, noses, fingers and toes. Ipupiara can survive in any temperature of water, but prefer to lair in three-dimensional substrates such as kelp forests, shipwrecks and sea caves.

An ipupiara is about fifteen feet long, half of which is tail.

Ipupiara      CR 5 XP 1,600 CE Large monstrous humanoid (aquatic, extraplanar) Init +4; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +7

Defense AC 18, touch 9, flat-footed 18 (-1 size, +8 Dex) hp 45 (6d10+12) Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +7 DR 5/piercing; Resist cold 10, fire 10

Offense Speed 10 ft., swim 40 ft. Melee 2 claws +9 (1d4+4), bite +9 (1d8+4) or harpoon +9/+4 (2d6+6/x3 plus grab), bite +4 (1d8+2) Ranged harpoon +5 (1d8+6/x3 plus grab) Space 10 ft.; Reach 10 ft. Special Attacks constrict (2d4+6), gripping harpoon

Statistics Str 18, Dex 11, Con 15, Int 8, Wis 10, Cha 13 Base Atk +6; CMB +11; CMD 21 (cannot be tripped) Feats Exotic Weapon Proficiency (harpoon) (B), Improved Initiative, Intimidating Prowess, Iron Will Skills Intimidate +14, Perception +7, Survival +7, Swim +19 Languages Abyssal, Aquan SQ amphibious

Ecology Environment any aquatic (Abyss) Organization solitary, pair, gang (3-8) or mob (9-24) Treasure standard (2 harpoons, other treasure)

Special Abilities Gripping Harpoon (Ex) An ipupiara is skilled at using harpoons to grip prey. It can grapple with a harpoon on any successful hit, not just a critical hit.

#pathfinder 1e #d&d #ipupiara #merrow #merman #sponsored post #brazilian folklore

[deafeninggardenerpanda]

For the OC ask meme:

🧋🪞🔮🍒🕰️💌

for any combination of Remidee, Alexandria, or Sunset :3

WAHOOOOOOOOOO oh thank you so much. you know i love designing alternate outfits and coming up with random scenarios i'll never use again xoxoxo

some of yours other people asked for too, so i'll hold off on answering them!

🪞 (Mirror) - What would their Mirror World counterpart be like? If they are a Mirror World counterpart, what traits of theirs are reflected? Do the two of them get along?

for context, because i dont think people outside of artfight know much of remidee, they're an apothecary who deals minorly in fighting and magic as an aspiration. due to how injuries work in my mirrorverse, traditional medicine is in extremely low demand and basically not needed. mirror!remidee has leaned almost totally into being a fighter as a result. coincidentally enough, this also reflects regular remidee's worst insecurities for reasons that are a bit too wordy to explain right now

after the fall of shadow dedede's monarchy, they found themself in mirror floralia as a refugee. they're not as good as fighting as the rest of the army, but the queen isnt one to turn away someone so loyal and ready to dedicate themself to the kingdom. officially theyre in the army as a fighter of the same level of the sectra dees, but really theyve been designated as just the guy that brings the banner into battle

mir!remidee would scare the absolute hell out of regular remidee, for reasons they couldn't quite place, even though mir!remidee is actually quite nice. it's the existential dread, remidee....

🕰️ (Clock) - What would a Dreamy Gear version of them look like? What sort of accessories would they have? What kind of role do they play?

on the other end of the spectrum, dreamy gear remidee has leaned fully into being an apothecary, considering there's no need for fighting and magic is extremely rare. they keep a pretty nice shop in the town of wind (<novel lore, for you folks who don't know). they seem richer than the other residents or overly-well off at first glance, but medicinal ingredients are very difficult to get a hold of in this setting, and they're quite passionate about their work, so they have a lot of high quality supplies

dg sunset is a carrier pigeon, basically. child of single dad manager dedede, they help deliver mail. though they have a habit of getting into trouble more often than not on the job while jumping from rooftop to rooftop. remidee has a sense of disdain for dedede in this universe thanks to sunset's shenanigans

🍒 (Cherry) - Out of all of the Dream Friends [Kirby included], which ones would they get along with the most? The least?

Sunset: i don't hc the mirror counterparts to be related to or have familial relations with their regular counterparts, but dmk would definitely be the fun uncle to sunset. both magolor and taranza get a thumbs down from her, not because of their past crimes, but simply because she thinks they're "kinda weird and annoying"

Remidee: i swear to god this has absolutely nothing to do with my own affinity for zan but remidee admires zan a lot. combining elemental magic with weaponry is notoriously hard in my universe, requiring a lot of skill and control to do. remidee is practicing spearplay and electric/beam magic, so this lines up very well. marx scares remidee a lot.

Alexandria: alexandria doesnt get any friends for reasons relating to her Themes. but im sure shed be extremely fond of kirby himself. gooey too i think! she also keeps her distaste for people well hidden, or is quite open minded--it's difficult to tell, so nothing for the "gets along with the least" part of the question either.

🔮 (Crystal Ball) - Out of all the treasures in the Great Cave Offensive, Kirby is letting your OC pick one from his stash to keep! Which one do they pick, and why?

#asks #kachikirby #dgp askgame #implied metadede #heyyy first main blog sunset mention from me! tyty kachi for remembering them dfkjghskdjgh that means a ton #theyre a metadede kid yeah but they arent canon to my verse #and generally i dont care to post abt them under normal circumstances kdfhgs #long post #my art #remidee #lady alexandria #oc: sunset

[stoportotouch]

okay, i am playing with my toys. you are all coming into the circle with me we are going to play with dolls together in my favourite way. by which i mean "time for the small opera company au". this is likely to be a borderline-offensive level of "bring your blorbo to work" in that parts of it may be thoroughly incomprehensible without outside knowledge. no less i hope that my passion for playing with my toys in strange ways is in some way charming enough to keep your attention.

i struggle with what to do with sir john franklin in an au where he is still alive in that "musical director" and "stage director" are both very much taken. but i guess he's like. emeritus producer/guy bankrolling the whole opportunity and who crozier talks to only through gritted teeth. alternatively franklin is the noda reviewer that crozier has a decades-long one-sided beef with. but also maybe that's sir james clark ross or sir john ross, if we need a Critical Offstage Presence.

crozier (as we have established) is the resident conductor/music director. he's good at it. in fact he is very good at it and knows exactly how to get both chorus and principals performing at their absolute best. he is very, very supportive of young performers... but only until the moment that they Fuck Up one time too many. simultaneously he is the sort of MD who most people do not want to work with more than once and who basically cannot do amateur productions any more because of... the person that he is.

jopson is basically his secretary but he also does a bit of everything arts admin-wise.the only thing that jopson can't really do is read music; he knows "that's middle c" and can extrapolate from there but he isn't A Musician as much as an Admin Guy. however he is occasionally called upon to be a body double for somebody who's off ill or for a principal who wasn't called for a rehearsal because all they would have been required to do was Lie Upon The Ground because their character was dead. no less he has, like, surprisingly arts snobby opinions on the best operas.

the stage director is fitzjames. this is really just a vibes-based thing because he is All Vibes. but he of course came from straight plays where there's no real need to be able to carry a line and therefore has little respect for Breath Control. occasionally he starts getting Regietheater Ideas, and on those occasions crozier threatens him with the baton. otherwise he's very popular with everybody. (apart from crozier.)

dundy has my Operatic Performance Backstory. which is that he had a mis-spent youth of gilbert and sullivan and one day heard somebody say the word "basingstoke" as though it was in and of itself a joke for the last fucking time, snapped, and started doing actual opera. i don't know if he's a tenor or a baritone but if he's a baritone he was pigeon-holed into patter roles and fucking hate[d/s] them. (this is just how i feel about gilbert and sullivan. as i said, dundy has my opera performance backstory.)

regardless of voice type he fucking loves doing real opera (especially if he's a baritone; if he is then he's counting down the days until he gets to do iago). but if he's a tenor he at times misses playing the dickheads that are afforded to tenors in the gilbert and sullivan canon. (he eventually sucks it up and campaigns for a production of yeomen, plays fairfax, and loves it.) if he's a tenor he eventually specialises into don josé-type roles because he finds them more fun than the sappy loving boys.

little is in charge of everything that involves not getting near a performance space. if he could then he would never actually go into a theatre and would work entirely from home. but crozier, unfortunately, does not allow him this luxury and does not believe in work from home. he has an "office" in the theatre that is basically just a ludicrously luxuriously-sized broom cupboard.

being (in his own estimation) extremely uncreative is not insulation enough for somebody who would much prefer to make a very complicated spreadsheet and who can do just about every excel formula from memory. he can read music and is secretly one of those "can look at music and just immediately sight-sing it perfectly" types. crozier knows this, so sometimes he is dragged unwillingly out.

irving is the other person whose office is in the glorified broom cupboard because he's actually the company's accounts guy. this is in keeping with the real john irving, who was, in fact, a Maths Guy. but of course he is also a musician, perhaps surprisingly: as i've already said he is one of the two types of Church Music Lifer. (he is the sort who knows everything and takes it all extremely seriously -- in other words he is a dec tenor.)

irving also brings hodgson, who is the other type of Church Music Lifer, along. they're both tenors in the same choir but on opposite sides of the church and on the rare occasions that little gets drafted in (which he likes, surprisingly), he sings bass on the same side as irving. little is the Purported Third Type Of Church Music Lifer, who doesn't believe any of it and is just saying the words (when he does say the words) recreationally and understands none of it.

this whole bit has really been an opinion for one specific person other than Me. i will therefore continue it by saying that hodge is, as he was in The Real World, the son of a priest (and therefore couldn't escape it). he... i cannot explain this better than he has the Church Organist Personality. and while he does occasionally play he is muuuuch more useful as a singer than as an instrumentalist.

in the opera company he's the rehearsal pianist (and he is extremely good at it, which surprises a lot of people). otherwise, he understands all of the church music stuff, but mostly so that he can make very niche jokes about it. this is the sort of thing that cracks him up. that being said, he does also Get irving in a way that very few other people are able to because of this. (also the lieutenants, who all live together for... what are by now probably obvious reasons, are definitely all Animal People. irving has a dog and hodge has a cat. little has something odd like a lizard.)

finally, hickey is usually in the chorus. however there was one (1) occasion where somebody didn't turn up for a concert because they were ill and crozier gave him a single solo line. this went to his head immediately and he has yet to stop thinking about it.

#ollie considers

[anonymousdandelion]

Bodies and Matter

A Good Omens ficlet for the @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt "celestial bodies"!

Mild CW for a character experiencing guilt related to eating. It's resolved, don't worry.

Aziraphale had been ineffectively pushing rice and vegetables around on his plate for at least the last five minutes, and Crowley was getting more worried by the moment.

He’d thought at first that there must be something wrong with the food. But they’d eaten at this restaurant plenty of times before, it had always been a hit in the past, and Aziraphale had ordered the same items off the menu that he usually did. And when Crowley directly asked how the food was, the angel (who was seldom shy about his opinions when it came to criticizing cuisine) just nibbled at a tiny bite and said, “It’s very good.”

And then promptly put his fork down again.

All right, that was it. Crowley set down his own fork as well, leaned forward, and cut to the chase. “Aziraphale. Why aren’t you eating?”

“Oh!” The angel looked startled, then guilty. “You’re right, the chef must be terribly offended. And you, too! We agreed to have lunch together and here I am not doing my part. I’m sorry…” 

“Don’t apologize,” Crowley said, exasperated. He sighed and moderated his tone. “Would be hypocritical of me to be offended by someone not eating much. And the chef, eh, the chef can deal with it. I’m worried about you.”

“Me?” Aziraphale blinked. “I don’t need food. I’m an angel.”

“But you like food.”

“Angels don’t need food,” he repeated, sounding stubborn. “And really, since we don’t need it, it’s inappropriate to indulge. We, well, we oughtn’t to sully our celestial bodies…” 

Oh, Crowley thought, and could have smacked himself in the face for missing such a blatantly obvious explanation. Of course.

“You had a meeting with Gabriel this morning, didn’t you?” he said out loud.

“Yesterday, actually.” Aziraphale picked his fork back up, but only to fiddle uneasily with it. “How did you guess?”

“Intuition. Genius. Seeing what’s right in front of my nose.” Crowley shrugged. “Look, Gabriel is a wanker. And an idiot to boot.”

“Crowley!”

“What? It’s true.” They’d had this discussion many times before and seldom got anywhere with it, so Crowley moved on. “Seriously, though. There’s a lot more to life than necessities.”

“Not for angels.”

“Yes for angels. Definitely for angels.” Crowley rolled his eyes. “Even Gabriel likes his clothes, doesn’t he? Don’t bother arguing, I saw him at the tailor one time.”

“When did you—”

“Don’t worry about it. Point is, just because you don’t need something doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have it if you want it.”

“It doesn’t mean I should have it either,” Aziraphale said, but he sounded a bit more doubtful now. That was a promising sign. “Gross matter… celestial bodies…” 

“Oh, don’t give me that baloney.” Crowley slapped his hand down on the table. “You want to talk about celestial bodies? Then listen to the expert. I made stars. Gabriel is a trumped-up carrier pigeon.”

Aziraphale sputtered, apparently torn between laughter and offense at the description. Rather than giving him a chance to settle on a reaction that might be the wrong one, Crowley pressed on. “Take a nebula. Textbook celestial body, that. You ever made one?”

“I… can’t say that I have.”

“And has Gabriel?”

“...Not that I know of. It seems rather unlikely.”

“That’s what I thought,” Crowley said, triumphant. “So there. See? He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“I’m not entirely sure that’s a fair…” Aziraphale began, and then, seeming to give up, stopped and just shook his head. He was, however, starting to surrender to a reluctant smile. Crowley noted that development with significant satisfaction.

“I, on the other hand, do know what I’m talking about. And a celestial body — any celestial body? Planet, star, nebula, you name it? Let me tell you, that takes a ton of gross matter. And the matter is crucial. You’re not going to get anything good without it.” He paused, and amended: “Or anything at all, come to think of it. But still.”

“You,” stated Aziraphale, still shaking his head with that ever-increasing smile, “are absolutely ridiculous.”

And then, with a will and a new light in his expression that sparked an answering swell of warmth in Crowley’s heart, the angel started to eat.

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #aziraphale and crowley #fanfiction #dandelion fics #flash fiction friday

[aayo-whatt]

✨~got bored so i put the winchester gays and their angel "buddies" in an incorrect quotes generator~✨

PART THREE BABES

~~

Gabe: *slams books down in front of Michael* Gabe: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It’s gonna be a long night. Michael: You could of said literally anything else. Gabe: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble. Michael: I’m going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won’t win. I realize this now.

~~

Dean: If I see a bug, I simply leave the room elegantly and require someone else do something about it. Dean: If no one fulfills my wish, I simply never go back in there.

~~

Michael: Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of make up if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically. Adam: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes. Cas: Self care is stealing someones birthday cake just to eat the frosting. Adam: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

~~

Dean: Someone’s trying to break in. Call the cops! Cas: *loads shotgun* I got this. Dean: Last week you fell up the stairs, what do you mean-

~~

Adam: I need a long word. Dean: T-rex but the long one.

~~

Adam: *running towards Michael with open arms* Michael: *moves out of the way* Adam: Hey, why'd you move?! Michael: I thought you were going to attack me. Adam: I was going to hug you! Michael: Why would you hug me? Adam: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

~~

Dean: Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing?

~~

Michael: Someone care to explain why we have 6 dogs in our apartment? Gabe: They're golden retrievers, dude. They retrieve gold. I did this for us.

~~

Adam: Don't ask me what I'm talking about. I don't know, okay? I'm just the vessel. The message has been gifted. I've moved on.

i saw vessel and just copied & pasted-

~~

Gabe: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me. Sam: But they said not to touch the masterpieces. Gabe: Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall. Adam, on a walkie talkie: This is Adam, those idiots are fucking around in the East wing again.

~~

*In a group chat* Dean: A pegan just flew into my window. Sam: Pegan? Gabe: A what? Adam: Ah yes, my favourite bird, Pegan. Michael: I thought you said penguin for a second, LMAO! Cas: Just a normal day with flying penguins crashing into my window. Michael: You have pigeons flying into your window? Can't relate, I have penguins flying into my window. Dean: I literally just made a typo-

~~

Gabe: *writing a letter* Gabe: Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty... And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.

~~

Dean: I need to dye my hair. Michael: ... Dean: Or get another tattoo. Michael: ... Dean: Or a new piercing. Michael: Why? Dean: To, you know, appease the mental breakdown gods.

~~

Dean: What did you order this morning? Adam: What do you mean? Dean: I heard you answer the door, and I sensed food.

~~

Dean: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.

~~

Gabe: Am I going to far? Michael: No, no, no. You went too far about 7 hours ago. Now you’re going to prison.

~~

Sam: You three, explain right now! Michael: It was Dean. Adam: It was Dean. Cas: It was Dean. Dean: Dean: …fuck.

~~

Adam: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!? Dean, sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.

~~

Gabe: Wow, left handed AND British? You really are an illusion.

~~

Adam: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

Michael sitting next to him: 😐😑😐

~~

Adam: Why are you like this?? Dean: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

~~

Gabe: You’re my best friend, I would do anything for you. Sam: I want you to eat 3 meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Gabe: Absolutely not.

~~

Adam: The floor is lava! Michael: *helps Dean onto the counter* Sam: *kicks Cas off the sofa* Gabe: *lays on the floor* Adam: ...Are you okay? Gabe: No.

~~

Adam: If I fall down these stairs, I'm just going to lay down and accept my fate.

~~

Cas: Can I offer you a nice stick in this trying time?

~~

Adam: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos- Michael: I wrote you a poem. Adam, already crying:You did?

~~

Cas: Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute person but I'm not! Dean: Cas, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday. Cas: It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it! Sam: ...It was a bug. Cas: It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not! Dean: ... Sam: ... Cas: Stop looking at me like that!

~~

Michael: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done. Cas: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real. Michael: They're not. Cas: Haha, very funny. Michael: I'm serious. Didn't you hear? Cas: No... what happened? Michael: ...Why would you fall for this again-

~~

Sam: You need to be more careful! Gabe, who was dragged into Sam's issue: Careful? CAREFUL?! I'LL CAREFULLY WRAP MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT-

~~

Dean: How many vampires do you think have been hit by a car backing up in a parking lot because the driver couldn’t see their reflection? Michael: I’ve never considered it but you’re really shining light on what’s probably a very serious issue.

~~

PART 1 PART 2

#spn #spn incorrect quotes #supernatural #supernatural incorrect quotes #dean #castiel #destiel #sam #gabriel #sabriel #adam #michael #midam

[midnightprelude]

Major Arcana: Hanged Man

Written by @oftachancer and I for the @30daysofdorian event!

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CW: Southern Circles of Magi; conversion therapy (aftermath); successful blood magic ritual; recovering from trauma

The Circles in the South were appalling. That was all Dorian could think, over and over, as he followed the novice away from where his father was amiably chatting with one of the elder scions of the Gallows. An apt name for such a cold place. Cold - in the air, seeping into the stones. Cold - in the study of eyes behind heavy place helmets. 

“And this is the library,” Karl Thekla said as he pushed a narrow door open into a dark and crowded room.

Dorian fought a sneeze. “Oh, yes, very nice.” He could have fit three of them into the library at Qarinus. “Your lamps seem to have gone out.”

Karl shook his head. He was a broad sort of fellow with soft blue eyes and an impressively well kept beard. “We had an ordinance from the Council. No more magelight.”

“…they want you to use… open flames… in a library?” Dorian asked slowly. “Does this ‘council’ know that books are typically made of paper and parchment and therefore are quite flammable?”

“Hm,” Karl answered him, smiling and noncommittal. “We have your paper on interdimensional temporal analogs. I’ll show you.”

“Gladly.” More than he expected from a glorified prison. The reason his father had thought to bring him to this dismal place was entirely unclear to him. They hadn’t seen the sun once since they’d set foot underneath those ominous statues in the port—men and women twisted in expressions of agony—and Dorian was wondering if he would return to Tevinter with a deathly pallor. “What manner of study do you conduct here, Karl?”

“This and that. I used to-“ He shook his head, drawing a long drawer out crowded with scrolls. “Mostly, I help the elders with their work. Keep the books organized. That’s a task that takes a fair bit of time as you can imagine.” He poked through the scrolls, checking labels by the flicker of a flame through glass. “What is it like?” he asked quietly. “Up there?”

It was the first time Karl had asked anything of the sort and it caught him off guard. How much was he supposed to say? Would it hurt father’s business if he confided in the apprentice? Dorian glanced over his shoulder, lowering his voice. “In Tevinter, the land is so riddled with magic it seeps into the soil. It makes everything hum, feel more alive. I hadn’t noticed it until the first time I left. The world feels dead here.” He dropped his gaze, tucking his hands into his pockets. “No offense.” They had a mage, manually organizing scrolls. It seemed a dull, meaningless, unnecessary sort of task. “What do you mean: you ‘used to’?”

“Before they moved me here. I’m from Ferelden. I trained hounds and pigeons and hawks there.” Karl’s smile softened. “It was my home. I was in love.” He cleared his throat as one of the plate-clad Templars walked past them, lifting one of the scrolls. “Here you are, my lord.” And Dorian had a sudden rushing sensation that the man’s quiet, happy smiles since he’d met him that morning were largely for the benefit of the people guarding him. 

More like a prison than he’d believed. 

As the footsteps faded, Karl took the scroll back with a shake of his head. “You don’t want that. It’s a history of spoons. Actually, there’s an interesting little section on filigrees, but… One moment, I’ll find the paper. I had some questions actually. Quite a bit was censored before it reached us. Is your tour taking you as far as Ferelden?”

“No, not quite so far as that. Montsimmard is our last stop.” Ferelden was a backwater, his father had said, with little but fleas and rain. Karl had seemed pleasant enough, though. If he’d come from Ferelden, it couldn’t be that bad, could it? “Would you have me send a message to her on your behalf?”

“Him.” Karl bowed his head. “I’d be grateful if you would try. I’m not certain if they’re getting stopped on my end or his. Haven’t had word from him in months and the man’s a chatterbox. Ah, here we are.” He drew a scroll free with a gilded baton and a series of inscriptions on its sheath. 

Him? A man? 

“You see when we received the shipment, it had to go through a border station - all the scrolls from Tevinter do - and they’ve made a muddle of specifics in section four…”

Dorian blinked. He was staring at his own manuscript, but all of the details were wrong. Sigils misplaced, text blotted out. He winced, shaking his head. “Anyone who tried to use this would be incinerated, at best. It’s utterly useless as written.”

“We had gathered as much,” Karl surmised, gently touching the parchment as though it could be valued as anything more than kindling. “Terrence did try, despite my warning, poor man. Dreamers will dream. Still, the summary was inspiring. I had a theory…” He set the scroll down and glanced over his shoulder, drawing a long folded sheet of papers from inside of his robe and carefully shifting his broad shoulders to conceal them in a corner. “That this might be closer to what had been intended? I don’t see why they bother mucking about with these things. It’s not as though we’re likely to get ahold of the lyrium, let alone the ingredients required. Still. Makes them happy. I guess that’s something.”

Dorian studied the scroll, humming to himself. A bit of a brutalist approach, surely, but it was nearly there. He traced a few sigils with his fingertip, lines appearing burnished into the parchment. “Not a bad go of it.”

“High praise,” Karl breathed, casting a quick grin in his direction. “I’m a glutton for theory. Yes. That- I wouldn’t have thought of it that way. Thank you.”

“As am I,” Dorian murmured, ducking his head. It had only been a spell to harness energy from storms. Why in the world had it been fiddled with? Why had they banned magelight, of all bloody things? Why had Karl been taken from his home? Was it because of- A fog seemed to creep into his mind then, slow and opaque, making it difficult to think. Karl was rolling up a piece of parchment and stowing it away. “I apologize, what was it we were speaking of?”

“What weren’t we speaking of?” Karl asked with a little roll of his eyes, waiting again for the heavy footfalls of a Templar to pass. “Magic in the soil, you said? Anders would bloody love that.”

“Anders?” Dorian asked softly.

Karl nodded once, his smile warming, his eyes softening. “That’s one of his names. One of many. Too brilliant to have just the one.”

“…and you love this-“ Dorian blinked, something not quite making sense. “This Anders. From Ferelden.”

“From the top of my head to the tips of my toes. And the backs of my knees. Definitely those.” Karl ducked his head, nodding down the row of books. “Do you want to see- he does these drawings of cats that are amazing. I’ve them in my chamber.”

“Cats,” Dorian repeated, bewildered. This man has just admitted to a near stranger that he- Love. The death of duty, his father had said. A fool’s solace. Dorian nodded his head, too confused to protest. “Yes, why don’t you- I’d be interested in seeing them.”

So he followed the initiate down the hallway and around a corner, up a staircase and around another bend until they reached another narrow door. Karl ducked inside, waving at the door. “Shut that?” he asked, kneeling and pulling a board from the wall under the window to draw a pile of papers from the floor. “Just need a moment to find them.”

It took him more than a moment, untying ribbons and retying them, sorting the piles of papers into stacks around the floor like a squirrel with its hoard of nuts. Letters. Notes. Sketches of animals. Karl grinned, collecting a few deeply-creased papers that had clearly been folded and unfolded many times and held them out. “See. He can get all the poses. Impressive, yeah?”

Dorian stared at the paper in his hands, holding it like it was a priceless artifact. To Karl, it certainly was. There were five depictions of the same cat, with the inscription ‘Prince Fuzzybum’ emblazoned along the top in an inelegant scrawl. Sleeping peacefully, batting at a butterfly, lying on its back, curled into a ball, and licking its lips lazily, the chubby striped cat was caught forever on the tattered parchment. Something in Dorian’s chest ached. “Very impressive,” he agreed, feeling dizzy. “Why are you here, instead of there?”

Karl’s proud smile slipped as he took the paper back, carefully smoothing it with his thumb. “It’s safer this way. It’s supposed to be,” he added, the furrow between his brows deepening. “I thought it would be. I’m not so sure anymore. I suppose that’s not really a thing, up north, is it? Mages not being allowed to- Because the Chantry says we’re supposed to put Andraste above all else. I tried to, for a long time.” He laughed a little. “She can’t compete with Anders. Too bad for her.”

Family above all else. The Imperium above all else. Perhaps they weren’t so different, after all. 

A sharp pain shot through his temples and Dorian doubled over, reaching towards the other man for support. His vision blurred, his stomach lurching.

“What-“ Dorian muttered, feeling as though he might spill the contents of his stomach. “Where-“

Karl’s hands were steady on his shoulders. Warm. More slender than they’d seemed. “I’m with you. You’re alright.” The deep Ferelden accent was gone, replaced by clipped consonants from the inner lakes and rounded Carastes vowels. “You’re strong. Be in this moment.”

There was something so familiar in that voice, but the moment Dorian had the thought, it slipped away like sand through his fingertips. He leaned into the touch, his frame shaking violently.

“Which moment?” Dorian whispered, but his own voice sounded far away and warped. “Where am I?”

“He told you about the man he loves,” Karl said slowly in a voice that wasn’t his own, watching him. Something about the way he watched - solemn and steady - felt so familiar. Familiar like the voice. “And you told him. You told him- What did you tell him, Dorian?”

“I don’t know,” Dorian whispered, his voice catching in his throat. “I can’t- I don’t-“

“Skin like whisky?” Karl laughed, the Ferelden drawl returned with gusto as he leaned against the bed a few feet away. He had a few papers in his hands. “You’re a poet. You need to help me write something better. Mine are all: ‘your hair is good, I want to pull it’.”

Whisky?

Pull?

Dorian felt ill.

“I’m sorry, I’m not sure I can help you,” Dorian coughed, bile on his tongue. “I wish I could. I don’t- I’m afraid I don’t know how.”

Skin like fine whisky, eyes like mossy pools. He could spend an eternity studying the myriad shades in those irises and never grow tired. Trace the curve of that smirk with his fingertips and still never understand all of its facets. He could-

What?

What could he- 

Why couldn’t he-

Dorian wrapped his arms around himself, closing his eyes tightly.

What did you tell him?

What did he say? 

Where was he? 

Why was everything agonizing?

“He sounds,” Karl was saying, his voice fading in and out, lost in a conversation that Dorian couldn’t quite keep up with, “and I say this with the utmost respect for your lover, like a nerd.”

He-

Dorian doubled over onto the ground, his hands pressed onto the cold, unforgiving stone.

His lover. His lover.

My-

He gasped, crying out in pain, his insides feeling as though they’d been set alight. 

“He sees the world in color and light, hears his magic like music,” his own voice was saying, though his lips didn’t move. Burning, scorching his skin, searing his lungs. “He makes me feel whole, for the first time in my life.”

“Yeah,” Karl sighed, resting his head back against the straw mattress. “Yeah. That’s the stuff. That’s the whole thing. I miss him every minute of every day, you know? How long until you get to go back to yours?”

“I don’t know,” Dorian heard himself admit softly. “He’s training with a Rivaini spiritsinger. I haven’t heard from him in months.”

Who?

Who was he-

“You write my letter and I’ll write yours. Maybe we can confuse the blokes into actually answering,” Karl suggested with a wink. “Keep them on their toes.” 

How could he not remember? Why did everything hurt?

Dorian’s voice was a dim echo, as though heard from underwater. “Yes, why don’t we? Perhaps that will catch their attention.”

“You’re lucky,” Karl said, sprawling on the floor to write. “To love out loud. To see the clouds when you want. Don’t take that for granted.” 

“I won’t,” Dorian said, through another’s mouth, the vision fragmenting and shifting. Aloud. Somehow the word felt wrong. “I promise.”

#dorian pavus #rilienus maecilia #dorian x rilienus #karl thekla #kanders #dragon age fanfiction #30daysofdorian #midnight writes #oftachancer writes #major arcana fic

[some-pers0n]

[Favourite guy being in reference to Medic TF2 of course]

I hope this is slightly sufficient. Here's just the main ones I can think of off the top of my head.

Let's get to it.

Medic's real name is Ludwig Ludwig (yes his parents love him btw) but he just often goes by as simply Ludwig

Born on February 14th, 1923

Aromantic asexual and will quite literally rip out your jugular if you make advances on him

^ Greyplatonic as well

^^ He IS partnering though and is in a QPR with Engineer

Low empathy autistic

^ On top of it he has ASPD

^^ NO he is NOT a "psychopath" and I WILL kill you with a rusty shovel if you try to say anything like that. He's just gets bored a lot and is really silly now because he's doing something he loves and enjoys it

Ethnically Jewish (in particular Ashkenazi)

Atheist who knows that God is real, but just doesn't follow him

^ I'm being dead serious when I say that Medic takes personal offense to God being seen as the most powerful being in the universe and the one who dictates the laws of nature

Naturally has curly hair

^ He gels and combs it to make it like how it is

^^ If he just wakes up or if it's One of Those Days then he doesn't do it and just kinda leaves it all curly and messy

^ He's still got a fucked up receding hairline though do NOT forget it

WORST DRIVER YOU'LL EVER SEE. I cannot overstate how terrifying it would be to be the passenger while this guy is driving. He has the worst road rage, drives like a maniac, goes like fifty over the speed limit, yells and laughs the entire time, and likes taking "shortcuts" by driving on grass and off-road stuff. I would have a heart attack if I was in a car while he's driving

Literally no sense of humour and most of the stuff people find funny from him is just him being 100% serious or sarcastic

^ If he tries making a joke it's delivered in the most awkward way possible, to the point where people think he's being genuine

^^ He is actually pretty good with storytelling though

Plays the accordion, violin, piano, and clarinet

^ He's a major show off

When he was young he preferred exploring the woods and climbing trees and eating dirt and watching the woodland fauna go about than playing with the other kids

He is a lot more sympathetic and kind towards animals seen as pests (rats, pigeons, etc)

Went to Miskatonic University but then promptly left with a fake medical license after almost being caught killing like nine people

^ It's a long story :)

#ask #Hesitant to use the actual main tags with this #What if people see this? (Scary)

[screechthemighty]

Didn't wait for an answer, here's a selection of the funniest random observations I made while reading a terrifying amount of Moon Knight last year:

Werewolf by Night #32:

I shouldn't be shocked seeing how I'm starting on the 32nd issue of an obscure comics character but I have. Zero clue what's going on.

"I've never been celibate when it comes to curiosity" why would you phrase it like that.

"Out to do my job and collect my bread" *thinks of the meme and tries not to scream-laugh in public*

Marvel Spotlight #28

This dude is really calling himself Conquer Lord and has an alligator pit, comics are WILD

Marvel Two-in-One #52

...he...he tried to kill me with a forklift...

Moon Knight #1

Marlene get it together damn

Okay no but actually Marc immediately getting up, rambling cryptic nonsense, stealing a cloak off a statue, and then running to kill a guy is so on brand.

Moon Knight #4:

"The flash blinded me!!" smug matt murdock laughter

Moon Knight 6:

"I don't much like Marc Spector" the more things change etc. etc. etc.

"Kill the Americans" *frenchie voice* EXCUSE YOU-

Moon Knight 7:

WE HAVE THE MUSTACHE LADIES AND GENTS, WE HAVE THE MUSTACHE

"Speaking of your precious pretty boy millionaire" JAKE PLEASE LMAOOO

Moon Knight 10:

Ah yes, a mental breakdown while soaking wet...classic.

"Emotionally turbulent public chauffeur" I am ONLY calling Jake that from now on

PLEASE NOT HIM ALAS POOR YORICK-ING ON A GARGOYLE...

Moon Knight 12:

What in the Russian Sleep Experiment is going on here on this day

Moon Knight 16:

Invoking Diana and Charles aged very badly lmao

Moon Knight 22:

How many car crashes has Frenchie been in this run?? Like three or four by now????

Moon Knight 27:

"What's the going price for a cop" JACOB LOCKLEY LMAO

NOT THE KINGPIN, MATT WHERE ARE YOU

"The Kingpin can wait until another day" *muffled matt voice* NO PLEASE HE'S YOUR PROBLEM NOW COME BACK

Moon Knight 28:

"If you're lucky, you don't wake for a week" PRETTY sure that's called a coma

"You both deserve a kiss" I can promise you, Khonshu does not

Moon Knight 34:

0/10 they made Gena cry

Moon Knight 35:

"The man's determination is both inspiring and frightening." That's it, that's the system.

Moon Knight 37:

"Bottled up hostility and fists, fists, fists." That's why you're not allowed to hang out with Daredevil

Fist of Khonshu 4:

I hate that this version of the mask has lips

Fist of Khonshu 6:

This run was kind of ass, full offense.

West Coast Avengers Collection:

Wait why are they putting Tony in a special tank for the suit...just take the suit???

PLEASE NOT CLEA FLIRTING WITH BEN FRANKLIN

Moon Knight doesn't show up until almost 80% of the way through, I want my money back.

"The Temple of Khonshu" ABOUT TIME YOU SHOWED UP, YOU STUPID PIGEON

"Time has split in seven" please stop splitting time...

West Coast Avengers 31-37:

Marc voice: sorry babe, just dissociating and chatting with my moon god

I'm sorry, Doctor Doom Norted a boy?????

Marc: I have a plan *immediately gets beamed in the head by a mace* Tigra: Is...is that the plan?????

WAIT HE'S BEEN POSSESSED BY KHONSHU THIS WHOLE TIME???

Everyone: wow, ain't love grand Bobbi: I'm divorcing Clint

Marc Spector: Moon Knight 9

Okay as much as I like unkillable Marc, it is a little funny when he's walking around complaining about his ribs

Amazing Spider-Man 353-358

Midnight really does look like Eren Jaegar and it's distracting

Did Frank. Did Frank really just risk blowing his cover to make a pun.

Daken: Dark Wolverine 15:

"The fact that I may collapse any second from blood loss begs to differ" Marc I am begging you to get to a hospital.

Moon Knight (2014) - Wood Edition:

Marc showing up looking homeless with a dusting of his own blood = SO ON BRAND

AND THEN IMMEDIATELY GETTING HIS ASS KICKED Marc, never change

MARC SPECTOR HAVING A NORMAL ONE

Moon Knight (2016) - Lemire Edition:

FINALLY BACK BABY LET'S GO

I'm sorry but the fact that this IS all in Marc's head and he's remember his friends with such fondness is...I'm emo...

"I'm nothing without my friends, Gena" screaming crying frothing at the mouth etc.

"Maybe my job was just to get us here. Give you a chance to rest." SCREAMING. CRYING. ETC. ETC.

Absolutely hate that his "dying" thoughts are of his friends, Lemire I'm coming for you personally

"I'll see Gena. She'll know what to do." tries not to scream in public

"That's a very specific lead, Crawley" all of his leads are like that my dude

Steven just watching Anput bite that dude's throat like "oof sucks for that guy. anyway-"

Moon Knight (2017) - Suffering in the Bemis Run:

Oh she is about to make this so much worse.

OH YOU MADE IT SO MUCH WORSE

"The inspector holmes of kung fu madmen" what am I READING, what YEAR IS IT???

"Marc Spector can be overly confident" that's the first correct thing you've said all issue, dude

I don't like the use of "psychopath" as an insult but someone (presumably Steven or Jake but MAYBE Khonshu) putting Marlene in his phone as "let it go" IS pretty funny [Note from present me: My theory for this is that it was Steven, since as of the Mackay run only Marc and Jake still seem to have strong feelings for her.]

Kicking his flaming pants onto Sun King was definitely not beneath him. That's extremely on brand.

Guys I'm tired...

Doctor Strange Damnation:

"In, but out of his mind" oh this is already gonna get exhausting

"Try not to kill any of them. That means you, Knight" HI, HELLO, BLADE IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE, JOHNNY BURNS PEOPLES' SOULS OUT, WHY ARE YOU SINGLING HIM OUT???

I'M NOT GONNA READ GHOST RIDER TO UNDERSTAND WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE SHUT UP

Avengers: Age of Khonshu (oh boy):

Thor with baby! Thor with baby!!

"Consorting with moon wizards" STILL NOT THE WEIRDEST THING HE'S EVER DONE

"quivering chicken-god" HEY only we're allowed to call him that! (there is something weirdly wholesome about Marc taking the lead, though)

I've only had Robbie Reyes for five seconds but I'd commit a felony for him

YOU'RE ARRESTING KHONSHU???? YOU CAN'T ARREST KHONSHU???????

Okay update, I guess Thor can arrest Khonshu. I hope they go for the punishment of having Loki throw birdseed at him for the next couple thousand years.

T'Challa: You should join up with us now that we're done fighting. Marc, thinking about how everyone called him crazy BEFORE he did some dumb boneheaded shit, and how much worse it'll be now that he beat up Thor: Y'know what i'm GOOD, THANKS-

Moon Knight - MacKay Edition:

VAMPIRE MLM, TRULY THE FACE OF EVIL

Man, Marc is just trying to turn a new leaf, help some people, and people REALLY CANNOT JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE, HUH...militant atheists on one hand, religious extremists on the other, my dude needs a NAP

"You lost me at 'destroy our enemies' but I appreciate the effort" Reese I'd die for you I hope you know that

"And that makes us brothers" Marc this is why you've gotta start hanging out with Jake and Steven again, every other brother you've had has sucked lmao

"You know I can see in the dark, right?" "You know I can't, right?" D&D parties with the token human be like-

#screech reads moon knight #that sure was a time in my life #these aren't even all the random notes I took just the funny ones I had saved in a notes app

[heartsoulrocknroll]

AEW Dynamite 12/7/22

Dynamite Diamond Battle Royal -- This was as boring as every battle royal. The final two are Ethan Page and Ricky Starks, and Starks gets the win, making him the number one contender for both the AEW World Championship and the Dynamite Diamond Ring.

As soon as the battle royal ends, MJF's music hits!!!!!! I was honestly not expecting him to be on this show!!! What a wonderful surprise!!

MJF enters the ring and tells Starks, "I'll be with you in one second." Lmaooo. MJF addresses Bryan Danielson, saying that Danielson isn't there because he is terrified of MJF. MJF doesn't blame Danielson, because after what he did to Regal, he'd be scared too.

Then MJF turns to Starks. "Richard, these people seem to really like you around here. They talk about you like you're some underutilized god of professional wrestling. And trust me, you are very talented. But you wanna know the truth, bud? (Shut the fuck up chants.) You wanna know the truth, absolute? The truth is, in comparison to me, you're the absolute (MJF uses air quotes here) drizzling shits. Or should I say (MJF puts on his best Rock voice), you're a roody-poo candy ass!! Considering the fact that you've stolen literally everything else from that guy. Because no offense, Richard, you ain't nothing more than a dollar store Dwayne. So you know what I'm gonna start calling you? I'm gonna start calling you the pebble. And here's what's gonna happen next week in the main event of Dynamite, little pebble. (Pebble chants!! Loool) I'm gonna put you in my pocket. I'm gonna hop in my brand new Porsche, because unlike all these simple-minded humanoids, I'm actually rich. I'm gonna drive to the nearest body of water. I'm gonna take you out of my pocket, pebble, and I'm going to skip your scrawny little pigeon-toed ass all the way back to Billy Corgan's NWA, so you can wrestle on YouTube where you belong." GO OFF, MAX, OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oohhhohoo my god, as that promo went on, I kept thinking it couldn't get any better, and it just kept getting better. I need a moment to collect myself off the floor.

Ricky chants from the crowd!! Starks calls MJF "Maxipad" and calls him a fifth-rate Roddy Piper wannabe. Starks says MJF smells like paint thinner and ass. Loool. Starks says everything about MJF screams cheap, including the cheap suits, the cheap shoes, the cheap heat. "With that AEW Championship comes a big responsibility that you know nothing about. The difference between you and me is that when these people got behind me, I gave them a reason to keep going. When they put faith in you, you let them down. But when it comes to Ricky, I deliver on time, every time, every night, every week, every month. You can take your little ass to Greece for three months, because you didn't get paid enough. But the fact remains, I've been here busting my ass. Let's talk about the fact that you avoid responsibility. You avoid any type of pressure. I show up to sign at meet and greets, where you don't care. You just blow it off, because hey, everybody hates Max, so he has nothing to lose, right? Guess what buddy? There comes a lot of responsibility when it comes to people actually liking you." Starks talks about living in his car, grinding, and providing for his family and says MJF knows nothing about that. "I'm gonna do you a favor that you've never had done in your life. I'm gonna take the responsibility off your plate, little boy."

MJF responds to this heartfelt speech with a swift low blow, and I am almost in tears because I am deranged. MJF winds up to hit Starks with the Dynamite Diamond Ring, but Starks stops it with a huge spear!!!

MJF was absolutely on fire here once again. I cannot adequately express how obsessed I am with him. I am staring at the TV with the most literal hearts in my eyes. Someone please help me. I have lost my grip on reality entirely. I am taken to another world when MJF speaks.

Starks did a great job here too. Some weird things came out of his mouth that I don't think he intended and he meandered a bit on the way to the point, but for the most part, he cut a good promo here. Starks is on the rise, but the contrast between him and MJF here is very apparent. Nonetheless, Starks managed to get me excited about him as MJF's challenger, where I wasn't really excited at all last week. Let's go!!!!!

Moxley promo up next. He says he is starting to like Hangman Page, because Page fell off his horse, dusted himself off, got back in the saddle, and did his talking with his fist. Moxley says there is too much talking in AEW lately. He says this is not All Elite Talking, and there is no Blackpool Microphone Club. Lol. Good stuff.

Samoa Joe (c) vs. Darby Allin for the TNT Championship -- Darby takes Joe off his feet with a dropkick! Joe to the outside. Darby tries to follow with his suicide dive, but Joe walks casually out of the way, leaving Darby to fall hard on the floor! Joe picks up Darby and swings his head into the barricade, then into the ring apron!!! Joe peels back the mats on the floor, bangs Darby's head into the apron, and tries to powerbomb Darby, but Darby reverses. Darby runs at Joe, but Joe intercepts and powerslams him HARD on the exposed floor!! Back in the ring, Joe takes Darby off his feet with a hard chop!! Darby with some shots to Joe's abdomen, but Joe takes him down again with a headbutt! Joe smashes Darby's head into the ringpost while Darby is on the apron! Darby bounces off the post to the floor! Darby gets back into the ring at 9! Big boot takes Darby down again! Huge senton by Joe! Outside again, Darby drives Joe into the ring steps, then lands a Coffin Drop from the top to Joe on the outside! Inside again, Darby hits a stunner and a CODE RED ON JOE!!!! Darby charges Joe in the corner, but Joe cuts him off with a huge STO!! Joe goes for the Muscle Buster, Darby stops it, but Joe neutralizes him with a HUGE chop!! Darby bites Joe's head!! This sends Joe stumbling off the top. Darby goes for a Coffin Drop, but Joe catches him in the Coquina Clutch!! Darby passes out!! Joe retains!!! I liked this match a lot. Great contrast of styles that made a great match. Both of these guys are so good.

Darby gets up and shoves Joe after the match. Joe takes Darby down with a headbutt, then lands a Muscle Buster on the wheels of Darby's skateboard!!!! Taz: "Live by the board, die by the board." Lmaoooo. Joe puts Darby out with the Coquina Clutch again!!! Wardlow comes out to stop Joe.

Backstage, Orange Cassidy tells Kip Sabian he doesn't have to attack him. If Kip wants a shot at the All Atlantic Championship, all he has to do is ask.

Claudio Castagnoli and Wheeler Yuta vs. Daniel Garcia and Jake Hager -- This was solid. Good stuff between Yuta and Garcia here, as usual. Nice Claudio hot tag with a vicious, unrelenting series of uppercuts to Hager and a hurricanrana to Hager off the top!! Claudio gets the pinfall on Hager after reversing Hager's ankle lock, driving Hager into Garcia, and following with a big uppercut.

After the match, Schiavone shows Moxley, Castagnoli, and Yuta an interview he recorded a few weeks prior with Regal. Regal says people are only going to see this interview if something bad happens to him. Regal says the BCC doesn't need him anymore, but they wouldn't let him go, so he had to show them that they don't need him. Regal says Moxley is a very calculating man (looool), so he will understand this. Regal says the reason he did what he did at Full Gear was to teach the BCC the final thing he could teach them, which is to always keep eyes in the backs of their heads. Regal says he is BCC for life. Moxley and the BCC have no comment on this. Moxley basically ignores it and just says that after Final Battle, the BCC's war with the JAS is over. Weird. You'd think Moxley could address what Regal said.

Schiavone has a sit down interview with Jamie Hayter. She says she is going to be a reigning, defending, fighting champion. She says the winner of Shida vs. The Bunny on Rampage will get a shot at her title. Hayter is great here. She doesn't say much, but she comes off very cool and confident.

The Acclaimed (c) vs. FTR for the AEW World Tag Team Championship -- Caster raps that FTR's name stands for find the remote. Loool. Beautiful side headlock takeovers and waist lock pinning combo by Cash on Bowens. Nice hip toss and pretty, pretty arm drag by Caster on Dax! Dax and Bowens trade chops! Dax goes for a Sharpshooter, but Caster reverses. Double Sharpshooters by Caster and Bowens on Dax and Cash! Outside, FTR send Bowens into the ring post and catapult Caster face first into the bottom of the ring apron!! Bowens gets a hot tag and takes out Dax and Cash. Flurry of strikes and kicks from Bowens to Dax!! German suplexes by Dax on Bowens!! Neck breaker on the knee from Bowens to Dax!! FTR land an assisted piledriver on Bowens, Dax performing the piledriver and Cash jumping off the second rope to assist in driving Bowens down into the ring!! Bowens kicks out!!! FTR have Bowens in position for a double vertical suplex, but Caster comes out of nowhere to spear Cash!! But Dax holds onto Bowens and rolls him up!!! Bowens kicks out! Big rolling elbow by Bowens!! Cazadora cutter combo by the Acclaimed on Dax!! Dax kicks out! FTR go for the Big Rig, but Caster reverses! The Acclaimed go for a Big Rig of their own, but Dax and Cash reverse! Dax sends Caster shoulder-first into the ring post in the corner, then FTR finally land the Big Rig on Caster!! Bowens barely makes it into the ring in time to break up the pin! Arrival by Bowens on Cash! Mic Drop attempt by Caster misses!! Huge back hand chop from Caster to Cash! Big lariat by Cash to take Caster off his feet!!! Caster kicks out! Two more HUGE lariats by Cash!!! Damn!!!!!!!!!! Powerbomb by Cash into a jacknife pinning combo, but Caster rolls through into a pinning combo of his own and steals the three count!!! This was really good. FTR continues to pull great matches out of everyone they wrestle. This was a good finish to allow The Acclaimed to retain without hurting FTR too much.

After the match, the Gunns read FTR a note from the Briscoes, challenging FTR to a double dog collar match for the ROH World Tag Tean Championships at Final Battle. Wow!!!!!! Hype!!!!

#aew #aew lb #aew dynamite #maxwell jacob friedman #ricky starks #samoa joe #darby allin #jon moxley #claudio castagnoli #wheeler yuta #william regal #blackpool combat club #dax harwood #cash wheeler #ftr #max caster #anthony bowens #the acclaimed #jamie hayter #daniel garcia #jake hager #ethan page #tony schiavone #taz #orange cassidy #wardlow #the gunns #aew dynamite 12/7/22

[mightyflamethrower]

In the year before the decade change, they set the cats among the pigeons. We were so innocent. We pitied the poor Chinese, welded into their high apartment buildings. We saw video of them calling out their windows for food and help. We saw the Chinese in Italy dying at an unholy rate. A man from China flew to the Northwest, here, and became ill.

They are closing schools now. There are about a tenth of the schools that used to exist. Birth is rare and treacherous. Still men and women do make love and a few children come to birth. Some of them die a few days into life. A healthy child is a rare sight. Their play is carefully watched.

We don't have professional sports now. Too many were dying on the field. It became too horrifying. Most colleges and high schools have given up the tradition of team sports also. Living teen children are too precious. We hope some of them survive their early adulthood. A whole generation is weak and fewer than their parents' generation, or indeed their grandparents' generation. Boomers are stronger than their grandchildren. There are very few great grandchildren.

Goods and services are impossible. Groceries and pharmacies are only open for eight hours on weekdays. Most have self-checkout. No one wants to be at the check stand. Amazon is still standing. Most goods are handled by online shopping. Then we wait for the arrival of a shipment to our houses. Official shopping is done with gov. supplemental funds. It is never enough. Few of us have actual jobs. But they need some of us. We know how things work.

We didn't know it but, WWIII was waged against us. We thought it would take place in the usual way between tanks, guns and jets. There was a lot of Kabuki about Russia, Ukraine and China in the year 2023. But we didn't understand that we were their enemy and that they, the invisible and visible magi were our actual destroyers until it was too obvious to shy away from. The virus, but more, the vaccine, was the means of waging that war. For several years early on people believed and lined up for the shots. Around 2024 even the loudest proponents became silent. That was a relief anyhow.

Still, they needed goods and services, so there are farms, largely poorly run mechanical food factories. There are also special dark farms that run the old way, so that there are good things for them. There are factories for their needs and department stores for them to shop in. We don't have the money, even if they would let us in. You must have a special invisible tattoo on your left cheek for the doors to open to you. There is a reader at the door.

On the street level there are two types of people. We are the survivors walking a tight rope for life. Then there are the bees. Worker bees for the comfort of the powerful and elite. Many of them were what we believed were illegals coming here on their own. But they were brought here to take the place of natives. They mind things for their owners and keep the streets nice to look at. We don't drive cars. They outlawed normal gas runners. There are cars tucked everywhere, unusable. We walk and ride the rare and unreliable buses. They drive fine strange vehicles.

All real houses of sincere worship were closed in 2025, for offensive language and racism. They house third world migrants in them now, also in the hotels and some of the closed high schools and larger buildings of all types. There are home meetings. It's hard to get an invitation to one because of the danger of betrayal.

We make our own music. We use everything up. We make our own food at home. We plant gardens and hope that they escape notice. We keep chickens. We mend clothing. There are tons of used stuff. Everywhere you look there are the material possessions of the dead. We look funny in our secondhand outfits. We try to stay away from medical care. Too many of us go into a hospital, but never come out. We think euthanasia is the main treatment there.

In 2026 President Harris signed a directive making medical care the business of the government. You don't want to end up in a hospital unless there is no other choice. Better to die in peace at home if you must.

There are no more funerals. They outlawed them. Each town has its own crematorium. We are not sure what they do with the ashes. When a family member dies and is processed, the family receives a document officially acknowledging the death.

They tell us we are happy. But we are very weary. Everything changed after the great Reorg. We try to tell the children how life was. You can't blame them for thinking it has always been like this. There is not much in the way of history taught, just stories about how much better it is now. We try to keep our children out of the govco schools. For one thing, schools are literally not safe for a child. We teach them the basics at home.

We have a black underground economy. We have our own currency. They destroy anything they find having to do with our means of buying and selling. But we just start up a printing shop somewhere else and issue new bills, dated when they were made. Old ones lose value quickly. There is a lot of barter where it makes sense. We know we will probably not be able to keep this up forever.

Forever. We know who we are waiting for, and we see the signs. Against all odds, the Temple Mount in Jerusalem is in the the hands of the Israelis. They made a new temple and started the sacrifices again. There is no peace there. A strange malignant figure is being spoken of.

Even so, come Lord Jesus. December of the year 2030.

Much more to come

(By Pbird--@How to Meow in Yiddish)

[toribookworm22]

Find The Word Tag

Thank you @master-of-the-pigeon-religion for the tag!

No pressure tagging: @the-forgotten-sunfish, @late-to-the-fandom, & my open tag!

Your words are: Far, Separate, Dance, Rogue, & Den

My words were: progress, judge, treasure, genius, and view.

Writing is from The Animatronic Saga-- including one short story-- and my dark fairytale retelling. Will indicate. Everything below the cut!

Progress

"Still resilient, but there is progress. He got a few names out of a man and I believe with the right incentives, he will continue to be pushed."

- Animatronic Saga

Judge

When I fall silent-- got lost in his eyes a little; don't judge-- he presses his hand to my chest and starts drawing meaningless shapes in between my ribs.

- Animatronic Saga short story

Treasure

"Care to walk around the Gardens a moment with me?"

"If I treasure my neck."

"Well, it is a lovely neck."

- dark fairytale retelling

Genius

"...no, it's actually Beethoven."

"The piano guy?"

He had mocked offense. "Do not insult his genius with your ignorance." Then he'd scooted closer to me. "Put out your hands."

- Animatronic Saga

View

My guide led me through a few doors with ease, his key and giving us full access. It wasn't another minute and the last door was hissing open, a breathtaking view before my eyes. It was a cliff bluff, the sun glittering over a vast expanse of water beyond. The boy sycked in a breath. "Where are we?"

- Animatronic Saga

#writeblr #writers of tumblr #writing tag game #animatronic saga #dark fairytale retelling

[feelbokkie]

For the habits picked up by the members, Han's is actually a condition from birth. Some people refer to it as pigeon toed or intoeing and have to have surgery to correct it. Just a heads up that it could be a bit offensive.

I know. I'm actually pigeon toed in one leg (and before anyone tries to say anything, it is possible to be pigeon toed in only one leg), I would refer to it as my anime girl leg in middle school bc that was better than ppl making fun of how I stand when I didn't consciously correct it. And you don't have to have surgery to correct it, some people grow out of it naturally over time bc it corrects itself or have a brace/cast to fix it. Or in my case, injure your leg with sports and now have to deal with it either going slightly inwards or concerningly outwards.

But I privated the post for now and will fix Ji's part later! Thanks for your concern!

If I ever post something concerning in the future, pls don't be afraid to reach out and call me out on it. The Reason why I take so much time to write something sometimes is because I try to do at least some research so I don't accidentally offend anyone. So yeah, pls hold me accountable!

#feelbokkie answers

[starvels]

oooh fun. do you know [gregory from abbott elementary] i don't like pizza. but! bearing that in mind sknbkjndfbk,

Fun idea tho, recently unfrozen Steve being shown the wonders of the modern world and all its riches. And of course they gotta introduce him to modern pizza! And it’s like… Steve is Not Fond for [insert reason here] and has to go thru what you and Gregory do whenever you say you don’t like pizza.

Many attempts to find the “right” kind of pizza because surely then Steve will like it? ensues I imagine. Made more complicated by the fact that Steve is 1. Always hungry and 2. Does Not Waste Food so it can be hard to gauge if he actually liked something since he finishes it every time, which leads to…

Because the Team orders Pizza so often and the new members WILL start the process all over eventually he “picks” the least offensive kind to him as a “please stop asking”-favourite. Maybe like a thin crust or a veggie pizza or a white pizza or something lol. Maybe he orders wings or a meatball sub if they have it.

desjkfnbdjbn i really am turning into a marvel food blog, huh? is this bc i talk abt cooking so much? (sidecomment, made some fucking ACE banana bread blondies this week goddamn)

'Steve is Not Fond for [insert reason here]': this is fun. steve could hate pizza, sure. here's the reason. it is bc the dough doesn't taste ENOUGH like NYC water. he needs more of that undefinable city juice to make it like he remembers dsfkjbhnkjdbn. he's a disgusting city pigeon, i love him, etc.

'has to go thru what you and Gregory do whenever you say you don’t like pizza.' at he would simply stare into the camera and offer to walk 4 miles to get something else and everyone takes it as silly charming cap.

'it can be hard to gauge if he actually liked something since he finishes it every time, which leads to…' sooo true bestie! it throws off everyone so much! let's all collectively explore this more.

'he “picks” the least offensive kind to him as a “please stop asking”-favourite': for a while he gets on a cauliflower crust kick bc its less offensive until he's remembers he's surrounded by new yorkers and they do Not Partake of Cauliflower Crust which actually makes it worse bc then it's a WHOLE pizza for steve to finish on his own (rip my silly son)

but later, as he gets more 21st century weary, yeah he just eats a cheese slice for appearances, as like, a pregame medicine for an actual meal he has later in the middle of the night bc the whole lie is beginning to feel a bit drawn out and he should have said something years ago but now he's not sure when to. (cue fic abt jan finding him in the kitchen at night making chilaquiles bc he's hungry and she's like, you can have more at dinner, honey and steve is flustered and the truth comes out messily and he's like, a bit silly in trying to explain it and jan somehow takes his 'i don't like pizza' as a, we should get you to try more high end pizzas with stuff like sushi on it and steve's like why would you do that to sushi, i love sushi :( and iron man walks in and is like, just make the pizza here. there's a pizza oven in the back and even though thor broke the pizza peel the other day, i can just lift it out of the oven with my hands and so steve is Resigned and Convinced and Does in fact love cooking at home w the team so he finds some enjoyment in the Process itself but then the truth comes out! bc he tastes it and he's like it's fine. (what i say abt pizza while looking into the camera while people around me are orgasming over greasy tomatoes) and tony and jan press him for details and steve has to say, face in his arms, ears burning, that he misses the kinda rank taste of prewar city watered dough and jan and tony are like oh. well! and steve learns that you can in fact return funky NY flavor to pizza dough if you are friends with enough time travelers or something.

and jan and tony kinda get together and think about the times when steve just sorta ate or drank or accepted something bc he didn't want it to go to waste and it was fine and they think about steve not knowing what he likes and maybe they catch each others' eyes and they say at the same time, 'so, in bed -' 'he doesn't ever say what he wants' and it becomes A Thing that they have to address w steve and then a thing that gradually turns into a very communicative steve-centered threesome and then a relationship OR SOMETHING SDKJNBKJDN)

#I WILL STOP #kjdnsbkjdn #janstevetony #our talk #steve rogers #di's marvel food blog #a legit tag now lol

[quirkwizard]

How do you think Lady Nagant would do in the Sports Festival and Licensing Exam?

To keep things from getting too long, I’m going to focus this on the Sports Festival. Also, for the sake of argument, I’m going to say that Lady Nagant can make blunt bullets. Otherwise, there would be no way that she would be allowed to participate in the Sports Festival. And, as a reminder, this is when the characters are much younger. I get that Lady Nagant would crush most of these kids in a fight, but she doesn’t have the same kind of skill and power she had as an adult.

  I think she would struggle in the obstacle course. "Rifle" almost exclusively useful as an offensive tool with few other applications. Sure, she can use the recoil to push herself around, but that doesn’t give that much of a push given its showings. It could help with the robots, but it would struggle with the rest of the race and the other obstacles. The most I could see her doing is trying to incapacitate the other runners. Which may actually be a good way to use her to get ahead, simultaneously pushing herself forward while taking out the other runners with a few quick shots. That, or shoot people in front of her. Just imagine her shooting Bakugou down like a clay pigeon. Now, she would do better in the cavalry battle, specifically as a rider. With how quick, precise, and powerful her gun is, she could quickly knock off the other riders or their teammates from a distance. Not only could she narrow down the competition, but she could prevent other people from getting too close to her or her headband. The only issue I could see is her accidently knocking herself or her teammates down with her from the recoil of her gun. But given how good she is at handling the gun, I doubt this would be that big of a problem. Maybe she could put the tripod on the heads of her teammates for balance.

As for the tournament, things get a bit tricky. She would easily win against Momo, Sero, and Uraraka. Her range and speed is just too much for these three to deal with. I don’t think she would fall for the brainwashing trick and quickly take out Shinso. She’d probably win against Mina. She is good at dodging, but I don’t think she would be good enough to dodge one of the bullets. Aoyama is more of a coin flip. As the two are quick, long-range fighters with a lot of power, it just comes down to who wins the quick draw. Bakugou is tough to say. I think he’d do a better job at countering the bullets, either through blasting them away or dodging, and could get close enough to seal a win. And as odd as it sounds, I think that Kirishima and Tetsutetsu have a pretty high chance of beating her as well. If their covers could hold, I think they could get close enough to her to take her out. She would lose to Tokoyami as well. She could attack him from a distance, but I think that Dark Shadow would be able to defend Tokoyami and put pressure on her to mess up her shots. She would lose against Iida, as he would be too fast for her to hit. She would lose to Izuku as well. Even if she shot first, the finger flick would easily overpower the shot. Finally, she’d lose to Denki, Ibara, and Shoto. I think that their coverage would be too much for Kaina to deal with as she doesn’t have any good AOE attacks or movement to counter them.

#My Hero Academia #Quirks #Kaina Tsutsumi #Lady Nagant #Rifle #MHA Meta #MHA Theory