#no one should have to go thru what he did so he did something abt it and is still always something abt it by being batman

[himejoshiangels]

YOU DONT EVEN GET IT THEYRE THE CITYS FUTURE GOTHAM IS A CITY OF DEATH AND REBIRTH SHES AN UNOPENED BOX SHE IS ANYTHING YOU MAKE OF HER YOU JUST HAVE TO ANSWER THE QUESTION YOU JUST HAVE TO DECIDE GYAHHH

It's just, people born on Gotham are born into her curse, raised surrounded by tragedy and despair, but Gotham looks them all in the eyes and asks what are YOU going to do about it? Are you gonna perpetuate the suffering or are you going to Fight Back

#help..HELP MEEE #the signal #duke thomas #signal interlude #batman #bruce wayne #shes a neutral force shes hands you a knife and its your decision whether youll stab someone or decide to cut some fruit LIKEE #bruce wayne loses everything bcs githam did what she always does she takes everything from you bruce loses his parents and world pretty much #ends but with the invention of batman he basically said the answer to this question can be no more question at all #prevent parentless children from having to decide by saving them before theyre parentless am i making sense #no one should have to go thru what he did so he did something abt it and is still always something abt it by being batman #i hope im not sounding too crazy here #we are robin #these quotes r just fire man

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#that's 2 of 3 partys in my moms honor down. this one was our childhood neighbor friends #which it was really good to see them but it was really just a party. no one really talked about her at all. the subject was avoided #i think bc ppl r awkward abt it. like im fine to talk abt it. it happened. i dont see a point in avoiding it #but im also not the most socially adept. which i did pretty good talking to ppl but i was still the most awkward one there #and idk this experience has really taught me that u should have a lot of friends and a spouse bc i dont kno how a person like me could go #thru what my mom did and survive if i didnt have my dad. so i guess i have to con someone into marrying me #id b difficult to marry. im difficult to b friends with. im too avoidant of any people #im gonna die like that lady from 6 feet under with no friends. like a fridge fell on her or something. idk #but i cant die bc my dad cant go thru this again. i dunno. well see what life throws at me #also. my childhood friends r a lot of real smart ppl. like a lot of engineers and medical doctors #they make me feel so dumb. but alas. im but a humble environmental Science person #ay. i dunno. it was fun but im drained #and my cousings boyfriend is still a fucking freak who harasses animals. he really upset one of our dogs #my sister says she can imagine him murdering someone and tbh so could i. so i hope my cousins safe #unrelated

[stealingpotatoes]

Invitation to talk about Sayuri and Nymie?

:D CAN OF WORMS: OPENED!! i'll tell u abt how they got found as Jedi

ok so Sayuri is one of the students that doesn't rlly go home bc there isn't much to go back to. Basically her parents were Rebellion pilots (or one was a pilot the other a mechanic. kinda unsure) but were both killed in action against the Empire abt 3-4ABY ish. obvs the Rebellion couldn't look after a 7-8yo while fighting the Empire

so the remainder of the squad manage to get her back to her parents' home village/ where she was born. so having like Everything change all at once leaves her pretty ?? and gives her some serious trusting-her-environment issues. her coolgirl "i dont care" persona is very much a result of this bc she's worried abt getting too comfy in smthn. (which is at odds w the OTHER issue she got from this event which is "deathly afraid of flying" an issue not helped if Master "traffic laws are just guidelines" Skywalker is piloting. but she tries 2 act like shes fine)

this is gonna get kinda long so im gonna smack some unposted art here and then go into a readmore

anyway fast forwarding to when Sayuri's abt 13 (roughly 9aby) she's visiting her parent's old squadron on a New Republic bc they'd all come visit whenever she could and after the Empire's fall they did a lot more pick her up and fly her to a base to ALL see her. and they're like omg Sayuri you came at the PERFECT time bc this rlly amazing pilot war hero who's also some like. mystical whatever is here!! he's on his way to some magic place we heard. maybe u can meet him!! which sayuri meets w her usual whatever bc she's not that gassed abt war heroes.

very worth noting that the squad's probably all seen her move shit with her mind, but theyre like oh you know how it is with teenage girls. the "nobody knows what a jedi is" + "the empire existed for a decent bit of her childhood" thing has kept anyone from being like yeahh sayuri should like. talk to someone abt this.

anyway she goes along when the squad are like c'mon let's see if we can see him. ok the only way i can describe this is you know the spiderverse like... spidey-sense recognition thing? that's basically what happens LOL Luke and Sayuri both have a FORCE USER RECOGNISED?? moment and Luke then makes a beeline for her then realises oh shit tiny teenager not jedi. would you LIKE to be a jedi?? and sayuri who hates her village and is feeling the strongest emotional connection she's felt in forever w this stranger she met 2 seconds ago is like okay fuckin sure yeah. and woo jedi!!

i posted my unposted nymie art yesterday but likkeeee pretend theres some here <3

So Sayuri falls into the "one of the Jedi found them thru the force or by chance" category of students who get found. However Nymie very much falls into the second category, which is "CAN SOMEONE DEAL WITH THIS WEIRD SUPERPOWERED CHILD FOR US????"

So 2 things about Nymie: 1. like i've said before, she's from a very rich high class pantoran family. super stuck up, mostly raised by nannies & tutors, but somehow Nymie just didn't get the stuck-up genes like all her (4!!) siblings who are just obsessed w their social standing etc and is instead just :D all the time. 2. her proficiency ig is the living force esp in the 'good at connecting to animals' way (which I think means I legally need to draw her w Ezra).

so the former often led her to escaping her family's stuffy parties and galas or whatever (usually to whoever's house it is' garden or somewhere she wasnt meant to be) to find something interesting. usually a pet <3 one particular time when she was 9 she was following her Pet Sense but couldnt find anything in the house. so she kinda just reached out more and long story short thats how Nymie managed to call this hugemassive beast (i'd tell u what it was if i knew pantoran animals LOL) out of the nearby countryside to her. massively distressing for everyone, all these rich ppl were like "OH MY GOD I NEARLY DIED" (it didnt attack anyone). very funny exciting time for Nymie who was enjoying this new beastie friend til animal control showed up. saddening. everyone is confused bc HOW did that happen

a dude old (and cool) enough to have seen more than one jedi in their heyday (+ idk uni researcher knows his shit) noticed what happened w it going straight to Nymie and overheard her account and realised what happened and was like hi nymie's parents. i think u need to get into contact w the new republic bc thats a jedi right there (which they take and go oo social climbing. we have a jedi child people will think we're cooler. bc theyre assholes)

and yeah im losing steam now but luke shows up and she joins the academyyay!

#i tried to NOT go on a 2000 hour ted talk #bc im pretty sure i could give a solid 5k of meta on top of any explanations of abt... 95% of my OCs lolll #which does mean this comes off as a lil messy but hey #sayuri ireshla #nymie #oc #original characters #luke's students

[grantwilsonenjoyer]

The thought just struck me

Do you think anyone but the teens ever knew that normal watched his mum die? Because I don't think they'd mention it personally,

She's there, she's fine, the whole family is back together, finally, and the kids are all still in shock from this huge horrific fight, killing a man, and then becoming god for a second

So it's forgotten in the moment

And later they each remember it, but individually don't bring it up for whatever reason, link doesn't have the voice for it, Taylor doesnt think to mention it, scary is having a hard enough time bringing herself to tell her parents anything, let alone something she views as indirectly her fault (letting willy out in the first place)

And normal? Normal can't bring himself to ruin the good vibe in his family, his granddad is here, his parents are there, completely fine, uncle lark is doing better and getting on with grandpa Henry, hero is even spending time with him

How can he tell someone he watched willy murder the woman standing there in front of him, laughing at something lark said while he's washing up

Maybe hero finds out first, months later, maybe years, hidden under a duvet in the dead of night, they do this sometimes, when hero can't sleep thinking about her almost destiny, and normal can't sleep because of his destiny that was

And he whispers to her, very quietly, that sometimes he forgets that he'd brought mum back when he was god, some days he walks down stairs and instead of his mother eating breakfast or drinking coffee all he can see is the look on her face the moment she exploded into dust, sometimes he's not sure shes really their mother but is more like the build-a-bear hermie2, who is definitely a real person sure, but hes too similar to normals dead husband while too different at the same time

Or maybe it's scary who says it first

In one of the many midnight snack meetings she has with Terry Jr nowadays, they never talk much, usually just absentmindedly watch some TV while neither can sleep because of willy

She says that she feels guilty for a lot of things, and she knows she's not supposed to because willy manipulated her, but even when she can forgive herself for the active participation in tony pepperonis murder, she hasn't been able to forgive herself for causing Rebecca's death, and she's not sure she ever will

I love how will Campos can go an name a character Normal as if I'm ever going to have a normal thought about that boy ever also him and Hermie2 did date for a bit but had to break up because normal kept waking up screaming thinking he was back holding Hermies lifeless corpse byyyeeeeeeeeeeeedeeeeeeeeeeeee

HI SORRY I NEVER ANSWERED YHIS OOPSIES

and yea i think norm prob did not talk much abt what happened given that bec is still alive, and it's just kind of? brushed over at first?

i think he maybe doesn't even Realize it's still affecting him at first but every time he sees his mom laugh it makes him feel kind of sick. his fight-or-flight activates when they're having family time and she's not there, and at first he thinks it's just because he still isn't getting along with sparrow that well. and then one day he has a nightmare, maybe, or a panic attack, or Something. and it just clicks. he watched her die. she shouldn't be here, but she is, and so all of the love and grief for her can't even come out. it's all stuck in those few moments where she was gone, and so is normal, and so he can't quite believe that she's real unless he can actually see/hear her (and even then, sometimes it's hard)

BUT i do wonder if sparrow knows, given that norm chose to use the 'wish' on the throne to bring back her (&the rest of the ppl willy killed). and i think they worry abt it a lot, esp having gone thru the Same Thing (twice, if you count lark in oakvale) but norm obviously doesnt want to talk to them so they don't even know if they should try.. uaugh.

also norm and hero :(( i adore them i am cradling them so gently. The siblings ever.

+ ALSOOO scary . see this is extra crazy b/c obviously she is in a very similar situation as well with terry jr.. norm wanting to talk to scary b/c maybe she'll Get It but also being so worried that scary is going to blame herself even more if he opens up abt it.. what if i Died

+will campos wants me specifically dead i'm gonna GET him

#dndads #dndads s2 spoilers #normal oak #sparrow oak #scary marlowe #help girl now i need scary and norm comforting each other about their 'technically dead but also not' parents.. hmmm #we will see how much i want to write later LOL

[tatsumybeloved]

u guys… LOOK AT HIM. desi adult danny fenton. pakistani&indian king.

in my verse,, he is always (w an exception to that one fic) desi and named Daniyal Murad. jack is pakistani sorry not sorry and maddie’s his stepmom and she’s still white, i just gave him a bio mom and she’s indian. (is this bc i’m pakistani and indian?? also Yes.)

okay so pakistan + india is very diverse in terms of culture, ethnical groups and range of skin. so if someone asks me why he’s so dark in a negative way i will seriously toss u in the trash. and if in a genuinely curious way, well the more u know!

i commissioned the kind ohhriyo on ig to draw my vision. and ohhriyo brought him to LIFEEE. exactly the way i imagined him. i Need u to See the Vision. so thankful to onion.

u give a girl money and this is the first thing they’re gonna do. Correction: what i’m going to do

i have gone crazy over him and still am going crazy. i literally had to clutch the wall when i first saw him. i fell to my Knees. i have made my friends see the light and they’re all obsessed with him too. i need to drape myself over his arms like heroines do in bollywood. u don’t understand i have the very Deep and Feral urge and need and want to bite him. he’s literally how it’d feel when u touch a cloud. he’s so Meow. so Meow. in the cats clawing something and their mouths twisting way. he leaves me faint i can never get over him. i’ve driven my friends up the wall w the way i’m fawning over him they’re probably sick of me 😭

i hc that he grew into jack’s mass and build due to genetics although they can be very funky. the shoulder-to-hip ratio is high bc he has a male ballet dancer’s physique and their shoulders have to be wider than their hips. i hc him to have done ballet. that and add in jack’s figure, u have the perfect recipe for broad shoulders. he isn’t supposed to have that broad shoulders but the artists style is like that. no complaints tho! he’s got lean muscles bc of his ballet and fighting background as phantom. u guys should read up on their strength and all the intense training they have to do to be so controlled and strong it’s crazy.

and he’s an adult man in my fics: so let him be flirty and dress whatever way he wants. let him be slutty. he’s Serving Cunt. idk i have this hc that as he grew older and more comfortable in his own skin he’d have tons of game. and i know this from person experience i have a friend who was an awkward mess and very like danny turn into a Huge Flirt after time and i’m like bro ???? how much did u change? good for u !! that and me and danny r like this 🤞🏽 i grew into my own skin too after some time and grew comfortable in dressing in diff ways and showing off skin + other things. danny would go thru it too

and yes i gave him piercings bc i Loveee piercings. i gotta give all my fav characters piercings

look at the jhumkas!!! the traditional nose ring!!!! Insane !!!!! so whenever i write abt him… keep this vision in ur head ty and gn.

(he doesn’t look so desi ik but the artists style is like that and they didn’t know how to make his skin brown and etc)

desi danny fenton u r so dear to me <3333

#danny fenton #danny phantom #adult danny fenton #adult danny #this tag is bc i write solely for the dp/dc crossover fandom #dpxdc

[dottie-wan-kenobi]

modern au where jin ling has a tiktok account and every video is of one of his uncle's houses and he's like "turns out the ghost hates [insert uncle name here] too" and then the rest of the video is wwx's ghost knocking over cups/banging on the wall/making water drip/writing taunts on steamed up mirrors/etc and whichever Uncle Guy it is suffering the consequences of being a Jin Ling Uncle Who Isn't WWX

jc gets the bangs/knocks RIGHT when he's abt to fall asleep. no amount of ignoring it or shouting "shut up!!!" stops it. he has to get up and pound on the wall and then wwx will think about shutting up. maybe. but probably not for another few rounds of this or until jc threatens to sleep outside or something

lxc wakes up every morning to find All of his shit is messed up, like his fancy tea cabinet is reorganized in the stupidest way possible (by color and the second letter of the brand name), his fancy coffee table magazines are open to ominous pages about hair cuts, his records are riffled thru and sometimes set in the trash if wwx really doesn't like it

jgy gets shower messages that say shit like "I Know What You Did :)" that makes him convinced someone is trying to Expose Him and so he sets up so many cameras expecting to see idk mxy or xy doing it but he never catches anything!! the cameras fuzz out and suddenly the message is there!! he's being played with!!! this can't stand!!!

nmj gets creaking hallways and sometimes he thinks he hears angry voices. at first he's like great there's my family's mentow illness kicking in early. but then lxc or someone also hears it and he's like great is there a creep hiding in my house?? but no it's just wwx's ghost who also sometimes rushes up behind him and clenches his hand on nmj's shoulder or tugs his hair and makes the angry voices go Very Loud

nhs gets really weird fucking dreams where wwx sits at the end of his bed and smiles at him a lot. if nhs looks too closely wwx starts to fade into the dark behind him, but if nhs just glances and acts like nothing weird is happening then wwx will sometimes laugh like nhs said something funny. (nhs tries to talk to him but wwx doesn't reply)

mxy will be like "if ur real help me pick which eyeshadow I should use" and then one of the options will fly off the table and he'll say "thanks weird ghost u have good taste" and wwx will send his magnifying mirror spinning bc hell yeah he does

lwj sometimes feels, very strongly, that he's being watched,, but usually he's alone or w someone who isn't looking at him nearly intense enough to explain how strong the feeling is. it doesn't feel malicious but it gets a bit unnerving; wwx can tell and starts to pet lwj like a startled bunny too to soothe him >:3

#mdzs #cql #mdzs headcanons #wei wuxian #i might add more to this bc my friends had made funny points abt fairy kdjhfaj #bonus: lqr doesn't get haunted unless wwx thinks he's pissed off lwj #if wwx shows up and lwj has that Uncle Ruined My Day microexpression #wwx zooms to lqr's place and finds every razor he can and setting them out in the most obvious spots #if lqr has any electric razors they start running full blast in the middle of the night #wwx will shave off his beard if it comes to it he's not afraid of lan qiren no way

[orangesrotting]

hm okay like this is my take on the post-why did you drop out of yale rogan fight that no one asked for!! inspired by a tiktok i saw where the comments were all pro-logan but i digress. i digress. we start off w rory (RIGHTLY) calling logan out for being an absolute jerk to jess. which he was. and we all know it. logan, in typical huntzberger fashion, brushes it off + claims that writers are sensitive + that if jess wanted to, he should’ve “taken a pop at [logan]”. what is rlly funny 2 me abt this is that this is so so similar to what mitchum said to rory?? like mitchum dismissed rory in a really similar fashion to logan just dismissing jess’s accomplishments. and both have that air of oh-if-they-wanted-to-prove-me-wrong-they-could yk? idk i thought that was interesting. and then he ends all that by saying that rory shouldn’t let jess get to her. which. this is one of many many scenes that show truly just how incompatible rory and logan are, just because it’s been proved just time and time again that logan does not understand who rory is and also just doesn’t care. rory obv responds saying that logan is the one getting to her and that he was an ass. logan retorts saying that he’s sorry that he messed things up (but he’s obv not, when has that man ever been sorry in his life). this is kinda when we segue into rory’s underlying crisis with everything that’s happening. she calls logan out for mocking jess when he’s actually accomplished something amazing (logan saying everyone’s doing something like. lol what are you accomplishing exactly?? stole 2 yachts probably set a world record but like...that is rich coming from him), and goes on to say that she’s unhappy with her life bc she feels like she’s not doing anything. and as viewers we know that this is nowhere near the vision rory had for her life, and she’s so unhappy bc she doesn’t belong in the dar, she doesn’t belong in logan’s world, just partying her sadness away. rory is so deeply unhappy with where she is in life right now, and logan isn’t even listening to her he’s just telling her that it’s temporary and she should have a drink!! and this is again. just. such a good example of why they’re so so incompatible bc rory needs someone who is going to push her to be the best person she can be, someone who’s not going to take her shit and redirect her to who she actually is when it gets hard, not someone who’s just going to let her continue her self-destructive behavior just bc he’s doing all that too!!! like rory is spiraling and she’s at rock bottom in her life and logan has absolutely nothing to say until he feels like she’s criticizing him. like bro not everything is abt u sorry!!! she’s talking abt herself and logan comes at her when she wounds his pride a lil like...partying and drinking is not who rory is point blank!! and he just puts it all on her like yes it’s her choice to be partying and drinking but that’s also just. all he does and he knows it!! and rory says that and he just. launches into a monologue of self pity about the great huntzberger dynasty and how he’s being pushed through only one door and it’s like. rory is so right he doesn’t have a hard life he doesn’t know what it’s like to actually work for what you have. and yes i welcome the convo abt rory also having a lot of privilege but her privilege ≠ logan’s privilege at all!!! they’re very different!! but rory is so right in this scene bc we’ve never seen logan actually fight it. and logan has no aims!! no goals!! no passions!! he just wants to continue abusing his family’s wealth with no consequences!! like this is the only time u will see me agree w mitchum huntzberger but like. logan should be pushed thru that door bc he has no actual aims in life...and also like. logan saying that he gave rory a month is so absolutely useless bc he never once checks up on her. he never once comments ab how dropping out is uncharacteristic of her. never asks her if she’s doing alright??? no he just gives her a month like she’s going to fix herself and btw. yeah it did have smth to do w you!!! it had everything to do w you in fact...it was ur father that said all that shit that got in her head. and he never even disagreed w his dad btw. like god sometimes i wonder if logan ever even LIKED rory or just felt attracted to her bc she was the first girl who didn’t give him time of day like...he never once felt concern for her? when she dropped out of the school she worked so hard to get in to? like it’s wild to me truly. like even in this argument his main point is to absolve himself of any blame in rory’s dropping out/rory’s spiral. like there is no concern. he doesn’t care!!! his gf, the one he apparently loves sooo much, is spiraling and struggling and he does not give a fuck. he only shows any sort of emotion when she criticizes his lifestyle and when he feels like he’s to blame for her situation. like that says so much...

#if u made it all the way thru to the end ily #that is my essay if anyone acc reads it um. yeah i'm sorry i'm not active school is just sm </3 #gilmore girls #tv #rory gilmore #logan huntzberger #anti rogan #anti logan huntzberger

[aropride]

Saw this in my reblogs and I'm bored give the rant bestie

oh my god okay so. in class the other day we were going over the chapter on ocd and one of my classmates had his presentation and it was very good, factually accurate, he mentioned different types of obsessions other than contamination, etc . and our professor is like Ok he did a good job but we'll go thru my slideshow to see if there's anything else to cover. and she lovesss group activities and discussions so much so she had us break into our small groups and talk abt how we'd help treat a person with ocd and there were three hypothetical people. there was maya who had obsessions around cleanliness, alex who had obsessions around harm ocd (specifically stabbing), and sera who had obsessions around fire. and me and my groupmate talked abt alex and he was very normal about it so i was like Okay. maybe the rest of the class will be normal about this

THE REST OF THE CLASS WAS NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS. i literally wrote down word for word what this one girl said bc it pissed me off so bad . she said "he needs psychiatric help, maybe institutionalization, because what will happen if he picks up the knife?"

and my professor is one of those who's like There's no wrong answers but I THINK THERE ARE WRONG ANSWERS SOMETIMES ACTUALLY. AND THAT IS ONE OF THEM. and literally no one called it out so when i gave my answer i tried to as nicely and as un-passive-aggressively as possible make it very clear that This Hypothetical Guy Does Not Pose A Danger To His Loved Ones Actually. On Account Of That Is Not How Ocd Works.

AND NOT TO MENTION. in this hypothetical situation you ARE the psychiatric help. you're the hypothetical therapist..!!! like yes he does need help but not bc he's dangerous but because he's experiencing debilitating fear around the possibility of hurting others and it's impacting his life! he needs help not as a punishment but bc he deserves to live his life without the guilt & shame & fear that come along with ocd!!!

but it's so wild to me bc that was one of the biggest small groups in the class and everyone in the group is like..yknow the type, mental illness advocates until someone does something weird or god forbid strange. but like. they're usually very normal about stuff UNLESS it's something even slightly "scary" in which case they say stuff like, for instance, we should institutionalize people with intrusive thoughts. i've noticed it with that specific group multiple times and it's so frustrating like. are you even trying to understand people's experiences if u completely shut down at the idea of someone having a "scary" symptom. and even if he were dangerous. in this hypothetical situation, again, UR THE THERAPIST, SO IT IS UR JOB TO HELP HIM ???

also in that same class discussion- a guy from another group said the best way to help the hypothetical woman with obsessions around house fires was to put her in a fire safety course. brother that is just reassurance seeking and rumination and will probably make things so much worse actually! no amount of fire safety courses is going to help when the problem isn't the fire!!!

okay rant over i've been thinking about this for the past like. 35 hours straight. i hate neurotypical psych students so much it's unreal slash half joking 😭

#ask #theballadear #ableism #ocd tag #THIS IS LIKE 7 HOURS LATE AND ALSO SO LONG SORRY GVJHDF

[tio-trile]

OKAY SAME ANON sorry this is the third one,, but im going thru the rest of your asks and im realizing so many things.

I agree, a show SHOULD be able to stand on its own as an individual thing rather than counting on a sequel to continue its story. Now that I'm looking at the show in this lens, it is very lackluster. I still do quite love it, scratches that slice of life itch,, but mystery wise? No. I loved how ominous the "Everyday" song was. I thought it was supposed to foreshadow Armageddon (which it did, kind of) but more so it was for the Beel Gabriel reveal in the end. Aziraphale ran around looking for clues, but the annoying thing for me is he never puts it together? It was just something he does for US, the audience. It would've been good if he acknowledged all those clues in the ending, or realized it faster than us. In the end it seems so fruitless for him to investigate bc it never really did him any good? It was just for the audience to see. Also the Nina--Maggie subplot was cute, but it was also lacking? I like the point of "you cant force us together" bc theyre humans and its not that easy. But as a subplot it was waaay too ignored for it to be any relevant at all to the plot.

The thing about you mentioned abt A/C being supporting charas in the book, I agree. The good thing abt their dynamic is even with little clues and gestures we realize how good they are w/each other. The subtlety is what makes everything MORE interesting. But s2 makes it revolve around the ship, to the point where its all just filler. I dont mind filler,, but as you said, canon-compliant filler would be better. I appreciate that they're the main characters now since more screentime but I'd love it if they weren't ship-focused and still had proper interaction and dynamics with people outside of their circle (which I liked from the book + s1).

Anyways,, I still like it. But I appreciate seeing your takes since it really changed the way I view the show now. I feel more neutral about it now somewhat? I'm not invested in fandoms anymore bc of irl stuff so I don't think I would've spotted these things like you did so I really, really appreciate all your insights. Thank you. There's a lot of things to fix if s3 ever gets announced.

I think Neil mentioned that Terry brought up the "Everyday" song as a song about the Apocalypse (the book or S1), which could have been so good and ominous......instead it got used on this random Beelz x Gabe romance that came out of nowhere 😂😂 I thought the Nina x Maggie romance had potential in the beginning, but also completely fell flat/didn't go anywhere towards the end. Again, my takes are NOT trying to convince people who liked the show that they should change their opinions and NOT like the show anymore -- I'm just trying to explain why I personally didn't like it. Feel free to enjoy it as much as you can! Unfortunately I had way too much insights about it for it to be enjoyable for me 😂😂

#ask #anonymous #good omens season 2 #gos2 spoilers #long post #Did I wish this upon myself? No. I wish I liked it I WISH I LIKED IT #I wish I could have turned my brain off and not cared #I would probably have gained so many followers and notes. LOL. Instead I'm going down the opposite path 😂 #Oh the burden of being somebody with taste...(JK IM JK DONT COME @ ME

[solar-halos]

sorry i’m gonna talk some more about annie/johanna

first of all, i just think finnick and johanna would be so different as partners. finnick and annie give me the vibe as that one tweet that’s like “i don’t have any morals or opinions if a woman says something is right then it is” “um well maybe you should have morals and opinions” “you’re right i should”

in all seriousness, i think that even when they do fight finnick doesn’t even yell and he’s insanely good at communicating / compromising, which would be good skills for the capitol but also i think he’s just not a very intense person in the first place and that he HATES conflict. and then this is also based on my hcs of annie, but i imagine that she cannot handle conflict well and she struggles to compromise on something even she agrees with the compromise just bc she’s so pissed off, and that johanna is the exact same way. so when she and johanna fight, they fight. like we already know that johanna will say anything even if it upsets everyone (and she canonically did upset annie into having a flashback of some sort) so i think whenever they argue it’s a days long affair and that they only rlly try to figure out how to be more healthy about it when odesta’s son is like “ma where’s johanna i wanna see her” and since annie’s not gonna fill him in on all the tea she’s like “hm. we’re gonna have to work something out”

also it’s really interesting to think about johanna being more sensitive. i think there’s a fine line between censoring her thoughts (“it’s part of my therapy!” she ate) and just being more careful about saying things that are going to trigger annie, and that’s a balance johanna is going to try so hard to figure out. and it’s probably gonna be rlly hard bc when was the last time she had to figure something out for someone she cares abt, and when was the last time she had the luxury to care about someone, and will annie leave her if she messes up but it’s genuinely just a mistake and she’s consistently trying?

i do think that’s all gonna be resolved before they’re an actual couple, which is also something i wanted to talk abt. pre-canon i imagine they met at johanna’s victory tour and johanna lowkey had a small crush on her but also johanna has had a small crush on everybody at one point in time (in a “to cure the boredom” way lmao) so she doesn’t rlly think too much of it. just that when annie laughs it makes her wanna laugh too. and that when annie makes jokes johanna is like “why isn’t anyone laughing she’s literally a comedic genius.” i personally don’t understand this concept but sometimes when my friends enter relationships they’re like “omg i had a crush on them all throughout hs.” and they obviously don’t mean a full on consistent crush, just something that came and went in varying degrees, and i can totally see that with johanna. but also being a mentor + the quell + her morphling addiction + finnick’s death probably wouldn’t have given her much time to rlly think about it, so she doesn’t rlly realize how bad she has it until the war is over and they’re raising odesta’s kid

speaking of odesta’s kid! as soon as he’s born she immediately loves + wants to protect him + gets sick at the thought of never seeing him again and she’s just like “it’s just bc he’s a baby everyone feels that way abt babies.” which true but she also co-parents without any hesitation and when annie is like “i don’t want u to feel pressured to take care of him just bc we’re living together” johanna is like what the fuck are you talking about

oh and also i think annie is fully capable of being insensitive to johanna’s needs too, so it’s a two way street. like with her morphling addiction in particular, annie would probably continually ask her why she can’t just stop and johanna is so fed up with having to explain that it doesn’t work that way but they work thru it obviously

i think this is it. tbh this was more like an outline of how their relationship would work than actual hcs but i think there’s something beautiful about johanna learning how to be more loving and gentle without losing her bite. like she’ll still bully annie but she’d do it so lovingly and without actually hurting any feelings

oh i guess one more thing that’s not rlly a hc or anything just something silly i’ve been fretting abt: what if johanna and annie get together and they love each other soso much and then finnick shows up like “actually i lived and i’ve been finding my way to u all this time!!” like omg what would happen? my knee jerk reaction is odesta pt 2 but if i think abt it for more than a second it’s like. wow. annie and johanna went thru all these trials and tribulations and have grown into each other and made each other their home so it would be so fucked up if annie just fuckin left 😭😭 also annie and finnick wouldn’t be on the same pg anymore so if they even had a chance of getting back together they’d have to refamiliarize themselves w each other

but again that’s a silly worry bc if finnick hasnt returned in years he’s obviously not gonna show up when annie and johanna are happy and healthy and in love. that would be terrible timing and also this hinges on the fact that he most definitely didn’t get blown the fuck up when he obviously did. anyway i’m actually done now

#long post #very long #annie cresta #johanna mason

[moregraceful]

L after fucking L at the clinic today for FOUR STRAIGHT hours

First, [Specialist] was out here like, bro i think you just have [fully recoverable virus for humans commonly associated with dogs, NOT lycanthropy sadly], I'm like THE DISEASE THAT DOGS GET?? He was like yeah but the human kind dw. But I'm pretty sure that's what's going on. I was like bro come on. And then he sent me to the lab for bloodwork just to make sure I have fully recoverable dog virus where they took even more of my blood...please...ladies....how will the sexy vampires feast on me tonight if I have no blood...

Then went to my gp and took seventeen more losses. Told her some symptoms that were bothering me for a while, she was like lmao bro you haven't dealt with this REOCCURRING ON A WEEKLY BASIS SYMPTOM for HOW long!!? I was like lady listen. You referred me to [a different specialist] in 2021 and he did blood work and was just like take antihistamines and i got super mad and never saw him again. She was like ok but the antihistamines did not work?? And you just lived like that?? FOR TWO YEARS?? I was like i have a tragic backstory involving the medical field that causes me to shy away from seeking medical help!!! She was like ok but I'm writing you another referral You Do Not Have To Live Like This.

Then [Department I was referred to] called me while I was sitting in the lobby waiting in fifteen minute vaccine jail (ya boy will be fully hepatitis b vaccinated soon...fellas watch out...) and they were like sooo you're actually an established patient of this man due to seeing him in 2021...so you have to see him. I was like, must I. Simply must I. And the nice administrator on the phone was like, well most of our department is going on vacation this summer, butttttt. yeah no you do lol. I was like I GUESS!! But at least this appt is in person unlike the last one, which was telehealth - I am way better at advocating for myself in person. so if he says hmm, i think you should take even more antihistamines i can fight him in real life.

And then i had to get an x-ray bc apparently [ENTIRELY UNRELATED SYMPTOM TO EVERYTHING ELSE THAT I THOUGHT WAS JUST A SYMPTOM OF AGING] is not something doctors are generally thrilled to hear abt you having for years. And i met a very nice x-ray technician who was a little on edge bc there was a kid in the next x-ray room having a screaming meltdown you could hear from the waiting room. I was like bro i get it. I also need to go scream in front of my mom

And then after all that was done, i texted my mom tell her that i probably have a dog virus that isn't even lycanthropy and she was buddy you had dog virus in preschool lmao you'll live. Pain.

I also apparently canceled therapy in a fugue state sometime in the past two weeks so i only have one more healthcare appointment this week 😩 but this last one i am not dreading TOO much bc a) this was not a referral, i choose her specifically based on the stress i have around [fourth probably unrelated problem to everything else, not lycanthropy] and b) i had a fifteen minute consult with her last week where she was like hmm. Wow. I need to see you weekly, actually. And sent me intake forms immediately. So while this one will be an expensive weekly pain in the ass, at least i will not be waiting until August like my other damn specialist.

Anyway the reason i wrote all that out is a) you all were so kind and sympathetic while i have been going tf thru it for the past three weeks and I felt you deserved an update that i am NOT dying imminently, 2) i learned a valuable lesson today which is that if you put off dealing with/refuse to deal with several physical health problems separately for several years, eventually they snowball to a point where you just feel bad in your body all the time and then it's even more of a pain in the ass to deal with them all at once and you run the risk of being at the clinic for four hours straight slowly losing the will to live. Don't be me, don't do that. Address what is making you feel bad in your body and make sure your problems are heard. Like i am saying this as someone with medical trauma. It is YOUR body and YOUR life, you do not have to spend every day feeling bad for (likely) treatable reasons.

And I'm not even a werewolf 😭😭😭

#medical cw #fresno oilers.txt

[mostlymaudlin]

Hi friend! I saw your post about the WIP game and I’m very intrigued by the one titled “timeywimey”

timeywimey my beloved <3

this was meant to be my big snowbaz magnum opus. and one day i really do want to return to it -- i have it all planned out and i think it could be really good! i was actually meaning to write it for COBB but then i was a dumbass and missed the deadline hahaha.

but anyway! the premise is basically that simon and baz, abt a decade post-canon, are in a little bit of a rough patch. not like "oh god are they gonna break up?" rough patch but just like... they're disagreeing abt something. but then thru a series of magical mishaps that involved me heavily researching the French win of the 1998 FIFA World Cup ( i cannot begin to explain this here), they get vaulted back in time to their eighth year of Watford. Not only that: but it's a TIME LOOP. so they're stuck in their 18yo bodies reliving the same day over and over trying to figure out why, and also coping with the fact that there's tension between them. AND ALSO fucking all over campus/living out other sexual fantasies lmfao because how could they not.

anyway. the pre-work i have done on this fic is unhinged. i have an hourly timeline of every event that happens on this day at watford, which includes the weather for each hour. IDK I JUST THINK IT WOULD BE REALLY NEAT IF I ACTUALLY WROTE IT!

i have a tiny bit written, so here's a snippet:

“We should head inside,” I say. “It’s almost four. Time for the rain.” He rolls onto his back so that he can look up at me with a frown. I smooth his hair off his forehead with my palm. Sometimes he complains when I do that — it makes his hair greasy. He’s letting me today. (Hair doesn’t matter lately. Not much matters anymore.) “Can’t you just magic them away?” Baz murmurs. He smirks at me, then pokes me in the stomach. “Worst Chosen One to ever be chosen.” I roll my eyes and pull at his hair in retaliation, but I’m smiling too. “I did move the clouds once,” I say. Baz’s smile drops, his brow furrowing.  “What? Why didn’t I know that?”  I pull his hair again. He frowns, so I go back to petting.  “You don’t know everything about me.” “I bloody well do,” Baz grumbles, sitting up. He turns so that he’s sitting cross-legged in front of me in the grass. I take his hand, unwilling to break contact completely quite yet. (I’m sun-stupid and needy; I’m never ready to break contact.)  “I kind of forgot about it until just now,” I say. Baz raises an eyebrow. “You forgot you controlled the weather?” “It was after the Humdrum attacked us. Eighth year, in Hampshire.” I pause, scratching the back of my neck. The memory bubbling up is unpleasant, but not unbearable. Baz’s fingers are cool in my palm. “You told me to run, and I flew away. I could see the forest smoking for the air, so I just sort of… pushed some rainclouds over it.”  The sky is a deep grey now. It matches Baz’s eyes, which are open wide. His mouth hangs open just a second before he snaps it shut, shaking his head. “You’re unreal,” he says. I snort. “I’m a failed science experiment.” Baz pushes at my shoulders, and I let myself fall back onto the grass. He crawls on top of me, hovering over me with his hands on either side of my head.  “Don’t start that,” he warns, then pressing a hard, brief kiss to my lips. “You’re a fucking miracle.” 

and then they kiss in the rain :)

ask abt my wips!!

#my writing

[theyogs]

May i humbly request that you ramble on abt anything to do w jar/ihe plzplzplz? Hot takes, silly assumptions/headcanons, favorite vids, fanfics or fanart you wish you could make (or see someone else make), anything at all!!! Make it as long and annoying as you please even if you think no one will care bc I WILL care <3

I NEED to hear other ppls thoughts abt these boys or i will go crazy

posdacted ily but you have put me on the spot and now i fear Every single piece of ihe/jar media knowledge has left my brain……….

my favourite jarcast of maybe all time is the snugglebrothers cast they did recently… like wow.. if there was no james upskirt censor it would be the most Perfect video of all time Let me see up there. i loooooveee when the boys are all comfy and cosy looking it’s so heartwarming and cute Plus this moment was so cute

i think my favourite stand alone alex video is trying to watch star wars christmas special idk why but when alex sings porn helmet wookie time it changed something in my little 14 year old brain and at 21 years old i still sing that to myself skjdowjdi

i want jartists to draw the boys in Cute pyjamas and i think they should have a Pyjama cast where they’re all in cute matching pyjamas and it’s dark outside and they have candles going…… WAIT I JUST REMEMEBRWD SOMETHNG There was a james blab on the og jar channel called is james racist - james blab and in 2022 i was GOING THRU IT emotionally like crying all the time and that video was genuinely the only thing that would cheer me up but it’s deleted or got taken down idk it’s not up anymore and i’m so sad about it because it was so funny… alex’s editing on that was Cwazy in another life he would be making ytp.. all old jar is so nostalgic and especially like old fan videos… ;-; i love jar so much they’ve changed my vocabulary permanently. i also really enjoy “the WORST video on youtube” idk what it is about that specific video but it just Gets me

i don’t really have any hot takes i don’t think i guess i think james is Really Awesome and cool for his opinions on pornography and i admire him a lot for that especially when all the comments were kind of disagreeing with him but i thought it was Epic And Cool especially coming from three different men :p i disagree with his opinion on the film cars tho, that is one of my favourite movies and i had a (serious) cars fan blog on here at one point.

i want more stand alone videos about Vidya game because even if i haven’t played/don’t have a desire to play any of these games i loveeee to hear their opinions on them like yayyyy ❤️ i think i just love to hear their opinions on anything because it’s like a Trip into their brains and i enjoy that :3

i’ve seen liek 2 or 3 tweets recently like hating on alex/the i hate everything culture of the 2010s and Waow i did not think i was still so autistic about alex&jar i got so offended because YOU FONT KNOW HIM LIKE I DOOOOOO you’ll never know the first and only podcast on youtube you don’t know Smosh hates us?! they will never understand just how meaningful i hate everything and jar media was to me as a teenager like they got me thru so much and continue to get me through hard times JAR MEDIA IS FORVER <///333333 ok i’m emotional now and i think i’ve ran out of things to say so

tl;dr make more fanart of boy in Pyjamas and allow us to have james upskirt as a Treat

#posdacted #idk how long this post is but #i hope you enjoy #asks #i really did not tbink i had this much to say i wish i had more but my brain is EMPTY

[cherry-bomb-ships]

On one hand, I stayed up wayyy too late and should have been in bed 3 hours ago. One the other hand tho... for the very first time I have drawn Mojo Jojo >:3

This. Was. SO. FUN 💖💖💖💖💖💖 I wanted to save this for a full doodle post with other stuff cuz I'm definitely gonna draw more, but I couldn't wait to show this off!!! His design is absolutely captivating and working thru how to draw him (as well as throwing in some headcanon details I liked) was so amazingly fun, I cannot wait to draw more 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖 Imma throw some extra thoughts under the read more cuz I dont want this getting too long, but I am so proud that this was my very first time and I am so happy with the end piece >w< 💖💘💖💘💖💘💖

So as you can probably see, I added a few headcanon things!

The most obvious thing of course being a little chip out of his ear because lets be honest, he's taken a LOT of beatings and there's no way there wouldn't be some physical scars remaining. I like to imagine thats something he'd be self-concious about - a stain on his otherwise perfect appearance and a painful reminder of his multiple failures 🥺🥺🥺

Next, the lil tooth sticking out! A classic thing to add to most designs, and I think it especially fits him 💖💖💖 One thing I rly love abt his design OG is his sharp teeth so I wanted to keep it visible, plus I imagine his bottom canines (is that what its called on chimps? Idk) being the longest of his teeth, which is definitely a detail I'll be adding when I eventually draw that dashing smile of his 💖💖💖

These next 2 things are both aesthetic so I'll cover them in one go, but I wanted to give him a thicker outline around his eyes cuz the "PPGs Rule!!!" special episode did that to him and I thought it was good lookin 💖💖💖 I also added a bit more fur sticking in around his face cuz again, its something I love about him. I bet his fur is so soft, I wanna touch it....

Even tho this isn't a headcanon thing, I still wanna touch upon it; when it comes to the way his ears were drawn in early vs later seasons, there seem to be a lot of opinions about it in the fandom 😅 Personally, I kinda like both, BUT I think it looks even better as a blend of both!! Not perfectly rounded, but also not rigid and sharp. I feel like I found a nice middle ground tbh uwu

All in all this was so fucking fun and I am so proud of what I was able to do on my FIRST TIME no less, so definitely expect more from me in the future!!!! 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖

#reblogs are off cuz its just one doodle and like i said i wanna make more!! #there'll be a full doodle post eventually >w< 💖💖💖💖💖 #and i know i put it under a read more but plz go read my headcanons i think i cooked 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 #also i am so delirious and its almost 3am so sorry for any typos i didnt see..... #ok time to go kiss my wife and pass out byeeeeee 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖 #ruby rambles #💜: loving you's a felony #my art #mojo jojo

[chilapis]

hi almandine ! i hope ur having a wonderful day ; are u taking breaks and eating well ? idk if the semesters are as long as they are for me bc i know we live in different places, but i wish u so much good luck for ur studies as the end of the academic year approaches 🫶 i wanted to ask, what kind of person is leon? what does he do, whats the world he lives in like, and how do u see him thru ur eyes? my only exposure to him is through .. online mods and gifs ive seen of him go viral, u probably know the ones LOL, but i wanted to learn abt him from u if thats okay 🫶 (@dmclr)

Our semester has pretty much come to its conclusion — my first final is in…. 18 days? Just a little over two weeks, which is a terrifying thought. I’ve been trying to see to my needs and give myself a break and here though! <3 I just hope you’ve been taking care of yourself the same way? Please don’t let yourself drown in academic or other stressors, and know that with as strong as you are, you can overcome anything.

The online mods…. Yeah, I’ve. seen a couple. They’re, something certainly. (My reaction to that information v)

What does he do? Well, he was a cop— just started his job, actually (like one day? literally one day? It was the first day?), but then pretty much got hired by The President and got employment as a government agent for the United States. Fun.

The Resident Evil world is… interesting? Kind of like if, “fuck around and find out” and, “instead of asking if you can, ask if you should” combined. There’s biological weapons running rampant, including dogs, literal zombies (but we don’t call them zombies, no), and uh…. Huge grey men?

Say hi to him. He will not die. You cannot kill him. You cannot kill anything in this stupid universe actually. My favourite Resident Evil game, Resident Evil 7 (which… ironically doesn’t have Leon in it) literally features this one stupid fucking Southern family (whom I love so sweetly) and the father, Jack Baker, just will. Not. Die. You know how in games you get to experience different boss battles? Yes, well, I don’t remember how many boss battles are in RE7, but I will tell you this: 3 of them belong to Mr. Baker ENTIRELY. He just mutates worse and worse and you keep thinking he is dead but he is NOT. You kill his wife and she dies but no, he just won’t fucking die. And then you buy the DLC and you play as the big, strong, veteran uncle who just PUNCHES THINGS INSTEAD OF USING WEAPONS AND IT SOMEHOW FUCKING WORKS and guess who the big bad is! You’ll never guess! You’ll never figure it out! That’s right! It’s Jack Fucking Baker for the fourth god damn time and now he looks even more disgusting and corrupted. Although the game did not include Leon (it held Ethan Winters, a darling father), it’s still set in the same universe so I feel like you can get a pretty good… idea from all of that, yes? Remember ! Nothing. Dies. If you think it’s dead, it is not, it is simply now More aware of your existence.

Now, onto the actual man himself.

First of all? Not related to my view on him but he’s was… kind of misogyny-coded in the original Resident Evil 4 and that makes me giggle a little but I still somehow prefer that RE4 to the 2023 Remake. I know I reblog gifs of the remake a lot and that is simply because, I mean, who doesn’t enjoy experiencing their silly guy with better graphic quality, right? But I don’t like the alterations they did to certain scenes and dialogues. Also he looked like this in the original re4 which scares me more than the undying mutated abominations so, I. Well.

(^ NOT RELATED TO THE MISOGYNY HE WAS SUFFERING FROM DISEASE HE WAS ILL)

Okay, okay, anyway…. I HATE how the fandom views him, it stresses me out. They view him as this demanding, super serious, violent, brooding man who just wants a stupid, ditzy, useless girlfriend he can dominate, control and be a creep towards but that’s… not him? Like, how do you mess up so bad. This isn’t a particular part of the fandom as much almost the majority of it, sadly.

I feel like he’d, if anything, be a “wife guy”; he has a stressful job, he is traumatised beyond belief, he looks death in the eyes on a regular basis, he lost his parents when he was young, he has went through a-lot. And yet he’s so gentle, he still believes in saving everyone. He still believes in humanity and has this hope in him. He is still… soft. I don’t think he’d be a controlling or aggressive partner; I think he just wants something comforting to come back to, and he’d be SO grateful to have a partner who sticks by him through thick or thin, he’d be so genuinely giddy while taking about them. He lost his parents for fuck’s sake and got stuck in this godforsaken infected world when he was just 21… he wants home, I think more than anything he wants to come back to a place where he doesn’t have to think, where things can be handled for him and all he has to do is let himself be loved. Praised and acknowledged for once in his (somewhat miserable, let’s be honest) life. I mentioned, while answering Lucy’s ask, that I view him as a guard dog, and I think that’s perfect for him. He exists to protect — he has dedicated himself to that protection, to offering that canopy. His aggression is never on the offence, it has never been; not once, but it is done as a protective measure. If the years have reduced Ajax to a sword then they have reduced Leon to a shield. He just wants his efforts acknowledged — he just wants praise and warmth and comfort — and yet are they ever? At-least, to the degree they deserve? He falls into a depressive state in Resident Evil: Vendetta and it stings. He is such a simple man and I genuinely believe domesticity could fix him. He has never known what it’s like to feel safe — why would anyone want to force him to be a protector even in his partnership, even in intimacy? Let him relax for fuck’s sake. Let him. know what it’s like to be on the other end for once in his life. Comfortable clothes, hand holding on a warm cup of tea rather than a gun or a knife. No news channels and no social media or nothing. Phone on DND. I do not care if the USA burns to the ground, I want him to rest his head on my shoulder and finally get the sleep he hasn’t had in years. Civilian lives can wait a few hours to be saved.

#do you understand how fucking much I hate the fandom. get your hands OFF him #🥀🍷 — colloquy. #🫀🐕

[kulekrizpy]

my friend/ex was really upset yesterday. his body is all messed up from various injuries, he needs dental work. i told him to call out of work bc he wasn’t going to get any sleep before his shift

he moved near his hometown with some planning but not a lot. he wants to go to school. but he won’t have in-state tuition since he was living in my state prior to moving. he works really hard at work but it’s physical labor and it only makes his health issues worse. he also doesn’t want to move up to a less labor-intensive position :/ he honestly needs to take medical leave

and he’s upset with my brother for various reasons, but last night he was drinking and it all came out and he messaged my brother and my mother about how upset he was about my brother breaking something of mine and not paying in full to replace it. he’s struggling with money on his own and he resents my brother for having a cushy job that he complains about and flouts authority on. in many ways my brother IS entitled and probably WOULD benefit from being punched in the face at least once for his shitty political views, especially bc my ex is genderqueer. but he has definitely not spoken frankly about it with my brother

speaking of which, now he’s in a less accepting place and tho he “toned down the queer” he still gets looks from ppl and it’s stressing him out a lot. he worries about going thru backroads in case his car breaks down and someone kills him

all his friends from back home are druggies or complete deadbeats or both and he’s had a falling out with everyone since he moved. he’s also worried one of his older friends won’t live beyond this year. so now all the friends he does rely on are in my area and not his and he’s very lonely and isolated. and that also means i’m his best friend rn, which he’s told me several times

a week or so ago he wanted to make a risky and illegal change in career and after i told him i wouldn’t have been friends with him anymore if he decided to do it, he told me he still wants to fuck me. when i told him i can’t be casual with him anymore so don’t say that, he said he didn’t say it properly and that he meant he wants to be with me, eventually. and it’s just a whole fucking thing. he can’t even articulate what he wants. i told him not to mention it again unless he was sure and confident he could actually be a good partner to me. and i told him i need time to get over him too

and last night, we were chatting and i realized he’d been drinking, and he’s in a negative spiral/combative. he messaged my family. i told him he should wait til the morning and he did it anyway. at that point i said whatever. the call dragged on for hours tho he needed to sleep for work. he was in such a state i didn’t feel comfortable getting off the phone with him in case he did something very risky, like driving drunk or idk what else. he talked about wanting to lay down on some train tracks…

AND he called me again at work the other day. like. on the work phone. he used to work there but it’s just… not professional. feels weird. esp bc he was doing it cuz he was drunk. told him to text or call my phone next time

he gets drunk and disregards boundaries. bc he also mentioned the dating thing last night while we were talking. and when i told him not to he sidestepped and kept going on about whatever rant. and he just argues abt everything when he’s drunk. DUMB shit. like me taking my bike apart to store it easier. like bruh leave me alone ??

in the end he called out of work, then talked to his sister and i guess she convinced him to drive up instead of doing something dumber. i asked if he was sober enough and he said yeah. which he would’ve said no matter what i’m sure :|

so. he got to his family’s place and i guess i’ll see him today sometime. i told him i don’t want to drink and my brother doesn’t wanna drink with him either, so we’ll avoid that at our house at least

he’s trying, but he’s also falling back on stupid habits. i just hope he can figure out how to get the help he needs

and i need to figure out how to keep my boundaries

the cats woke me up earlier. i need to sleep more before i see him. good night

#suicide m // #personal