#non SJM

[snelbz]

Hi, friends.

A little life update for y’all.

I feel like I should explain my absence and the lack of updates recently. Those of you who have followed me for a while know that I have a son. Throughout my entire pregnancy, I posted baby updates right alongside fic updates, and I was posting all the time. I figured when I had my baby, I’d be exhausted and would probably need a short break, but I’d get in the groove of motherhood and bounce back. And I did. For a while, at least.

At almost two-years-old, my son is completely non-verbal. When he was a baby, he was hitting every milestone, checking every box at his monthly check ups, and had really started trying to speak around nine months. In one day, he said five new words. And the next day, he stopped. And he’s never started again.

When he was fifteen-months-old, my son was diagnosed with non-verbal autism and ever since, life has gotten very busy very quickly. We’ve recently started him in multiple therapies as well as entered the early intervention system in our state, and unfortunately, this takes up a lot of my spare time. I still work full-time and my husband travels for a living, so most of the time, I’m on my own and in what I call “single mom” mode. By the time I get my son to bed, I’m not far behind him.

Please bear with me as I wait for life to settle and my world to calm down a little. I have every intention of returning to my works-in-progress at some point, and am even planning to read through TDDUP soon to try and trigger some creativity into waking up. I’m also working on something brand new with Tara that we’re both so excited for.

So please forgive me for going MIA. Life has been kicking my ass recently and given me little chance to come up for air. But no matter how hard things get, everything I do, I do for this little man. His journey with autism has already taught me a lot, but I know I still have so much to learn.

#non sjm #personal post

[theladyofdeath]

Sometimes I think about Jamie Fraser and cry a little out of pure addiction.

#sam heughan #jamiefraser #jamie fraser #james alexander malcolm mackenzie fraser #outlander #new season coming soon #my addiction #non SJM #my bae

[mossytrashcan]

I’m too lazy for a background lmao

#elain archeron #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #sjm #also I’ve got elucien and elriel pieces cooking rn #istg I start uploading non acotar art and 90% of my mutuals fall off the face of the planet #art #sage’s art tag

[saccharinerose]

Hearing about the pregnancy subplot in ACOSF firmly cemented that Rhysand is a complete and utter fucking moron.

Like dude was really going to just keep quiet about his wife 100% dying in childbirth and taking him with her bc of their magic suicide pact with basically no backup plan whatsoever.

He was just fine and dandy with Feyre going into labour and dying, confused and in agonizing pain. She dies, their baby dies but he never has to deal with the consequences bc a second later he would also keel over dead.

The rest of the Inner Circle would wank themselves over how tragic and noble he was for keeping this secret from his Wife Who Is Totally His Equal Guys I Promise... at least right up until the moment they realize the canonically sexist magic of the world probably chose Rhysand's dipshit uncle as the next High Lord and everything goes to shit.

Great job, buddy. Gold star for you! I just know SJM is going to crown you High King or whatever and pretend like you’re not woefully under-qualified for the job!

#saccha's thoughts #anti sjm #anti rhysand #anti acosf #honest to god what do the actual fans of this book like about this dude??? #he is stupid as all hell. politically completely incompetent and doesn't even really have any hobbies aside from 'sparring' i guess #his fashion sense is non-existant all well #is it just bc feyre describes him as beautiful in her PoV? #in which case: can't relate #most fanart i have seen makes him look like every factory-made white male instagram model with tattoos and a sun tan

[arson-09]

Im watching a booktuber i like explain cc3 house of whatever and they made a point i was wondering about.

There are no trans, non binary or genderqueer characters in any of sjms books (that im genuinely aware of)

She has a few queer characters yeah but theres no characters that break the gender binary.

which makes sense with how strangely gendered and heteronormative her books are. I think i can and i probably should write an essay on it, im putting that in my notes.

#acotar #a court of thorns and roses #sarah j maas #sjm #sjm critical #like none?? no sauce??? #theres so many interesting ways you could incorporate non gender conforming characters into fae lore #my trans friend pointed out that the way (i) described amren and her whole thing could work as a trans allegory #which wow. that wouldve been interesting

[aelinfireheartgalathynius]

So she whispered it to herself, one last time. The story. Her story. Once upon a time, in a land long since burned to ash, there lived a young princess who loved her kingdom...

Kingdom of Ash, Chapter 109

#made a non-gif version for folks who prefer that #honestly i like both versions #sarah j maas #sjm #throne of glass #tog #kingdom of ash #koa #aelin ashryver galathynius #aelin galathynius #mine

[bookishfeylin]

That anon really reminds me of something I've been contemplating a lot lately, to be honest, and it's that we need to treat racist media differently or else it's never ever going to improve. Instead of saying "it's okay to consume 'x' so long as you're aware of the harmful stereotypes 'x' is spreading because all media is problematic to some degree uwu", if a piece of media has any racist stereotypes or perpetuates any racist narratives period no one should buy it at all. And no do not come on here with bad faith arguments conflating media that perpetuates racism with media that discusses or critiques or is commentary on racism. There is a difference, and most discerning people know that as well. Stop being disingenuous. Racist narratives and stereotypes continue because popular creators like SJM and the booktok faves have no incentive to improve because people buy whatever they put out, regardless of how damaging it is, regardless of what racist narratives their works spread from "having darker skin is ugly" to "fighting against oppression makes you just as bad as the oppressors." So I'm waiting for the day we all collectively just. Boycott racist media. All of it. Boycott Throne of Glass and ACOTAR and beyond publishing to television and Hollywood and boycott all new media that comes out that perpetuates racist narratives. Or more specifically, media where the audience note something is racist and the creators refuse to respond to said criticisms. We need to boycott it ALL, no matter how "fun" it is, no matter how much you like it, and demand better.

#this ofc is coupled with supporting authors of color and non racist works #like if you REALLY want to engage with something like throne of glass or acotar or something then just pirate it #and again save your coins for and support non racist media #whew i needed to get that off my chest #fandom racism #not really? #publishing #bookish rambles #real world issues #on media #anti sjm #anti acotar #racism #anti booktok

[sabraeal]

would you be willing to elaborate on your tag about Tower of Dawn where you said SJM has a weird hangup about maleness? Because I think I agree but I've been having trouble putting my thoughts on it in order and I'd be very interested in hearing what you think in more detail

I know i specifically mention SJM because I was talking about Tower of Dawn, but quite honestly this is sort of a problem across a lot of the really popular romantasy titles (and lbh, probably originated due to a lot of mainstream romance these authors read over time), and has even started to extend it's spindly fingers into fandom, but there's this specific focus on MALENESS as a monolith. That someone can have a distinct maleness about them. That they can smell of sandalwood and male. That maleness requires having an eight pack and broad shoulders and the BO of a god and also there's some growling too? That a man can crush you in his large hands but that he doesn't because he's restraining his innate maleness -- read: violence-- to keep from harming you.

Which I mean, is a type. It's a kink! It's a fine flavor of romance that is perfectly enjoyable...except when it becomes the ONLY kind of ML. You can't be a ML *without* and eight pack now. Oh you might have been a lean, bookish side character in book one, but you got a love interest in the sequel, and now your veritable Man Paws break all the bindings you hold dear!

And I think that's where the real problem is-- not even that there's a real lack of body diversity in MLs in romantasy/romance, but that even when a previously NOT alpha male side character gets to have his own romance, he must BECOME that physical type. He has to suddenly become possessive and say all the things that sort of ML always says. As if there can't be a love story if the ML doesn't look or act like this. As if there is only a single type of maleness that could possibly be attractive, and it has to be founded in violence and possessiveness and domination.

There's nothing wrong with that as a preference-- whether to read or to write. And I think it's also normal in romance to emphasize the difference between partners' bodies-- if you're attracted to someone, you're gonna notice their large hands, or maybe that they only come up to your shoulder, or maybe that their skin color is a few shade off from yours or more, and be like hehehehehe dat's nice :3. But there's such a focus on describing the dorito body shape, or how ML's sweat catches on his super defined abs, or how his grip is so tight it bruises, or how he lets out his animal howling during sex...that it's sort of become a thing that's default, rather than defined by character.

I think we get real down on FL leads being samey, or having perfect bodies, or not being allowed to have more than the barest bit of personality-- especially when it's in media aimed at men. But we've kind of found our own way to reduce ML down to a single archetype, I think there's a real fear in romance about making flaws that aren't about the inches of his enemy's blood this guys stands in.

#*bangs hands on table* #let a bookish guy have a soft boy belly or something #nothing breaks immersion for me when some dude who spends his time reading obscure texts is like #fucking SHREDDED. total vanity 8-pack #SJM i think is just one of the poster children for this problem because like Chaol and Dorian and Rhys all had different #non-roided out body types. and now they are all Hans & Franz #and they're here to PUMP you UP (with their manly sperm i guess) #considering how all those sex scenes tend to go #again if you love it there is no shame. but i do think we all have to take a step back #and think about whether we really want violence to equal manliness #forever and every in every book in the genre

[velidewrites]

I’m at the part where Micah asks Bryce to investigate the murders and I have so many thoughts

#first of all yeah i get you’re out of options but like #in what way is she qualified to play detective #yeah she knew danika like no one else but apparently not? #even bryce was like do you really think i can do a better job than a legion of qualified angels #ALSO oh my god why does every single character have to be the most beautiful person ever #isaiah is the prettiest hunt has a lethal beauty micah is the most beautiful #then bryce jesiba lidia please sjm let some of the characters be non conventionally beautiful #anyway i’m pushing through #the first 100 pages can be confusing sometimes

[snelbz]

Postpartum depression isn’t just being sad in the middle of the night because you’re exhausted, because your baby hasn’t slept for more than two hours straight in over three months. It isn’t just feeling overwhelmed by the dirty bottles and all of the laundry and making sure the rest of your family is taken care of, before yourself. It isn’t skipping meals because you aren’t hungry and need to feed the baby, then binging on the first thing you get your hands on after everyone has gone to bed and you have a few spare minutes for yourself. And it isn’t just being tired even though you just woke up, because no matter how long you sleep, it’ll never be enough.

Postpartum depression is sitting at your desk on your 28th birthday, crying your eyes out for absolutely no reason, except that you’re sad and you don’t know why, but you just can’t seem to stop. It’s knowing you’re numb and empty, but no amount of tears, words, or hugs will fill that. It’s not being able to find the joy in the things that you used to love. It’s your body revolting against you, trying remember how to reorient itself after the traumatic, life-changing event it went through. It’s existing, even if that’s all you can muster, because you love that tiny little person you created so much, but struggling to remember how to love yourself.

Today is my birthday, and I don’t think I’ve ever cried this much. I have no reason to. I have an amazing husband, a loving family, and the best job I could ever dream of, but today, I am so deeply and profoundly sad for no reason. That’s PPD.

I’ve had depression for as long as I can remember. My head has never been a safe place for me to be. I’ve talked about it occasionally, but I have never struggled as badly as I have since having Lane. I love him so much and he’s my entire world, but postpartum depression is hard. It’s hard and it’s ugly and it hits you at the worst times that it can. But because I love that tiny human and I love my husband, I try to remember to love myself. Some days, that’s a lot harder than others, but I have to remind myself that I’m worthy of that love.

I know so many women that recently became mothers, just like I did. No one warned me about how bad PPD could be, about how horribly it can affect every aspect of your life. I figured it’d be fine, since I was already used to my “normal depression”. I was wrong. Don’t be afraid to reach out for resources from your OB or just to talk to your family or even me. I don’t want anyone to feel as hopeless as I have, suffering from PPD in silence.

This is my birthday gift to myself. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. So if I can do anything for anyone on my friends list who is suffering, too, let me know. Send me a message.

You are not alone.

#non SJM #Shelby talks #personal shit #postpartum depression

[praetorqueenreyna]

It constantly gives me shitty fanfic vibes this Rhysand character. He’s fanon Draco and Zuko in one horrible character. And Feyre sounds like the horrific character than is fanon Katara/Hermione. I feel despite never having read these books from the discussions of it I feel I already have somehow gotten the experience because of how much time I’ve wasted glancing at bad fanfics of popular ships only to immediately press the back button after five minutes. Why. Does the author ship Zutara??? Did she write the masterpiece ‘how I became yours.’

Considering you haven't read the books you are SO RIGHT, Rhysand and Feyre give such bad fanfic zutara/drarry vibes it's insane. It's like an annoying fan wrote zutara/drarry fanfic where they actually get together, and then changed the names and published it.

Also if SJM wrote "How I Became Yours" she needs to be SHOT ON SIGHT that shit did irreparable damage to my mental state.

#asks #asdjkfjlsdfsd love all my non ACOTAR peeps being like 'what the fuck is this nonsense' #DON'T READ THESE BOOKS IT'S LIKE THE WORST FANFIC IN THE WORLD GOT PUBLISHED #If SJM doesn't ship zutara I'll blow myself #she's an aang hater I CAN FEEL IT #and for that she should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law

[nymerhias]

please explain how cassian can have his guts hanging out in one book and survive and yet they can’t perform c sections in this story.

#the math ain’t mathin #also like #isn’t the whole point of the mate bond supposed to be like #‘these two people will make the strongest babies’ #but how is it the strongest baby if it can’t even be BORN #like how can illyrians even mate bond with non illyrians #i am WASTING MY TIME trying to make sense of SJM lol #acosf #acotar series

[rosenecklaces]

The fact we know more about illyrian women even though is mostly their suffering and some old tales and even having Emerie being a free woman now warrior, but we never get insight of what is the deal in the Autumn, if lucien and eris are doing the same the bat boys and nesta are trying with the illyrian ones and priestess, or why aparentally LOA being trapped is a known secret around and the AC population just...seems to not give a fuck...? I don't remember mentions of it at all

mhmmmmmmm all I'm saying if 3 men we know from there aren't above classism, high fae superiority and abuse...well 💁🏽‍♀️

#idk why I'm just realizing this implications I've been having bad feelings about AC since a long time ago lol #but anyways I'm just questioning shit bc sjm loves to trash the POC civilization to filth when courts like AC seems nothing better #only less agressive and seemingly hiding shit 🤷🏽‍♀️ esp with all their partying that for me smells like high fae wasting stuff and va #validating their aristocratic asses like mhm ok your parties are fun? yeah? where the hell is going on with the lady of the lands? how are #the people doing? since i doubt non high faes are attending

[anthrologies]

finally got the notif from my library that a copy of hosab is ready for me!! 🥹

#i'm not gonna go get it yet though #i went to the library on thursday bc i was impatient for another book and ended up checking out two non-sjm books #i started one right away and it's actually perfect for my mood #exact tonal shift i needed after hoeab #and then like i have the other one so might as well read that too right #i have to pick hosab up by next thursday but i leave for a mini vacay on thursday morning #so i think i speed read the books i have and go get hosab on wednesday night #and then it can be my plane and beach read for that long weekend

[sjm-live-commentary]

why is chaol so goofy

#he’s so non threatening now 😭 bro is weakkkk #like nah he cant be standing next to rowan and aedion and aelin and manon no more #did sjm want us to hate him in qos orrrr #throne of glass #tog #queef of shadows #queen of shadows #sjm #qos #chaol westfall #rewriting

[vanserrass]

every year i tell myself i will do a books i read in edit series, and i never do because the second i finish the book i forgot what it was even about.

#anyway maybe once i go back to reading one book at a time i will do it #also maybe once i go back to reading throne of glass #but i also want to make non sjm related edits so who knows #alexa text