#not that I didn't improved in 2022 or this year but it's not the same | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

maxarchive · 2 months

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2024 L'Équipe Interview, "I always need to improve."

This fascinating dive into the heart of a champion's life, through his words, reveals the warm and endearing man described by those who know him intimately. A 26-year-old man, different from the one we have become accustomed to seeing over the years, this wild and cold beast who leaves no room for improvisation and feeling.

At your press briefing, you said you'd rather talk about your car than non-sporting problems. So, how is this RB20? It's great. I felt comfortable in it straight away. I'd say it was more of an evolution, an improvement on the previous car.

Is that so? Despite all the exterior changes, are your driving feelings close to those of last year? It's even a little better, a little more natural. And that's great.

Did you feel it as soon as you got into the car during winter testing? You can never be sure right from the first run, but I could see from the start that it was well balanced and, above all, that I could set a good time straight away. That's a sign that the car will be fast! After that, you have to know where the competition stands. We don't know how the others have worked.

Did you have the same feeling with the RB19 in early 2023? Pretty much, yes. There were a couple of things to sort out, but nothing dramatic.

Of all the Red Bulls you've driven driven since 2016, is there one that you like the most? The most fun were those of the previous generation (before the 2022 ground effect regulations).

The one from 2021? Exactly (his face lights up). The car was great, it was responsive. Today, they've become heavy, wide and long.

But do you like them all the same? When you're driving the best car on the grid, when it's a Formula 1 car, of course (he laughs).

Weren't those 2021 cars a little on the edge? Didn't they force you to make mistakes sometimes? (He reflects.) No, I don't think so. We managed to make the most of it, and then there was this philosophy, this way of to make it sharper (his hand mimics the diving single-seater like Red Bull used to design its single-seaters). I loved it.

Are you having more trouble today? (He smiles.) No… I don't care. I can adapt. But these 2021 cars, they went faster through the slow corners, they moved better. I was having more fun.

When they say you can drive any car, what would you do at the wheel of a Haas (last team in the standings last year)? (He smiles.) I don't think I'd win a race.

Not even a podium? Normally not (he reflects). Probably not. But I'd try do a better job than anyone else, that's for sure. After that, if the car is slow, it's slow.

It seems that since the advent of ground effect cars, you've been unbeatable. Do these single-seaters require special driving techniques and do you adapt better to them? I don't think so. If I'm successful, it's because I've got a great team around me who have built these fabulous cars. We had a bit of trouble getting back to the top with the old generation, but by 2021, we'd figured it out. And by 2022, things were looking up.

So, no change in style? Of course not. The cars have changed, and so have the tires. But we're adapting.

In what way? The car is heavier so I can't rely on it as much. The tires are wider, which means less visibility. The suspensions are so hard that we have to work on a new way of attacking the curbs.

Does that take time? Yes, it does. But it's the same for everyone.

Last week, Pierre Waché, the designer of the RB20, told us he really appreciated your technical feedback, that it allowed the team to progress. What do you have to ask him today, when you crushed the first race? Every car has its weaknesses and it takes time to overcome them. We haven't driven on enough tracks yet to tell you. Last year, it was the street circuits. This year, I'll tell you later, but I'd say they're details.

You give the impression of always having had a steering wheel in your hands. What's your first memory? (Instantly.) I was 3 years old and rode a mini moto.

And in a car? In August 2013, in Wales, on a Formula Renault 2-liter on the Pembrey circuit. It was my first experience in a single-seater. Something very different from karting. It took me a while to adjust my behavior and reflexes. I had no experience of tires, especially as it was raining. It was raining hard. The first few laps were a bit hard, and I spun a few times, but after that I had a blast. I had Michelin tyres which are excellent in these conditions. I just loved it.

Everything seems easy when you talk about driving. I was lucky enough to have a father who helped me a lot and gave me lots of advice. And the best thing was to let myself go and find the limit of the car.

Do you think your success can be explained by the talent or hard work you've put in to progress? Some people are more gifted than others. It's the same in soccer. The first day I drove a go-kart, I smiled (his eyes sparkle). And I haven't stopped since. The helmet (he mimes putting it on), I didn't take it off all day. I knew it was what I wanted to do.

This winter, you went GT racing with your father. Can't you stop stop driving? It's my passion. I also love the simulator. It's important because by changing cars all the time, you can adapt more quickly to the changes in F1. I need to try things out; I always need to improve. And I love making a car go faster (he smiles).

Alain Prost confided to us that his last year in F1, in 1993, was a very tense one, when he was favourite for the title with the best car in the field. Now, for your fourth title, you find yourself in a similar situation. How do you see this season? I'm not asking myself that question. If I don't win, I look for the reason why. Is it my fault? Then I'll correct the mistake. It's not my fault, so I'm going to help the team improve our performance. You can never win it all.

Is that why your duel with Lewis Hamilton in 2021 will surely go down as one of the greatest seasons in Formula 1 history? I know you're not going to agree with me (he smiles). But, in my eyes, the best was last year. People saw it as a one-sided domination, but you don't measure the degree of involvement of every member of the team in achieving this amazing result (21 wins out of a possible 22 for Red Bull, 19 for Verstappen). It's something I'm very proud of. It must have seemed boring to some people, but I don't care (his hands make a helpless gesture). I'm here to judge my performance and that of the team. And 2023 was the best season ever. The 2021 season doesn't even come close.

Translated via DeepL

#max verstappen #f1 #interview #2024

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elliotsblunt · 8 months

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Awaken Me | Tobias Eaton

pairings — four/reader | divergent au! |

summary : four seems to pick on you especially—and you figure out why. it’s because you both share the same secret.

warnings : none i think?

authors note : i forgot about this and decided to upload it even tho it’s unfinished…

Your eyes burned slightly as you blinked away tears, confused as to why you couldn't find that certain...

Anger.

Wren, a curly haired blonde that belonged in Amity—somehow landed in Dauntless. But during combat, her frail arms would summon the strength of twice the muscle capacity she contains. If you hadn't seen her flip a man twice her size over her figure—

You wouldn't have believed it.

Anyways, Wren had told you that she had reached that certain level of fighting simply by thinking of what angered her most. The the thing was, nothing horrible had happened to you.

You were born and raised in Amity, where the crime rate remained a negative 0–if that were possible, it would be rated just that.

Your ma and pa sheltered you, as you were their only child. You were also extremely close with them, but after getting your screen test back—it was time to begin a new chapter in your life. One that would drag and smash you to the ground like a bug.

Which is what happened now—basically.

Gritting your teeth, you rolled over to dodge one of your opponents lashes. Fortunately, the girl wasn't a merciless bitch, and let you stand up whilst getting back into position. With shaky fists, you gulped, muttering a quick curse before her own swung towards your chin.

But—

The beating never came. The throbbing rush of warm blood thrashing in your veins never crashed. Your jaw was in tact, and you weren't flopped on the ground like a beaten animal.

Your eyes snapped open, flashing over to the strong hand wrapped around Turner's wrist. Turner, the girl you were fighting, gulped as she stood back from Four. His chest radiated of a warm essence that burnt your cheeks—especially with the smirk dripping off his face.

"Turner," he released her grip, not glancing at you, "It appears the Mary Poppins hasn't improved. Isn't fair to you, is it?"

Your throat went dry, remembering how much of a total prick he was. At first, you thought he was hot, so you deemed him to maybe be a good person. But after you figured one of his life goals was to torment and embarrass you—you checked your values and common sense.

His eyes were dark, but still weren't ever fluttered onto your figure—almost as if he didn't even want to look at you. It damaged your confidence more, knowing you were probably going to be factionless if you didn't shape up soon.

Turner only shrugged, dropping her arm back to her side before placing both hands on her hips. She raised a brow at you as you let out a sharp breath, wiping the imaginary dust off your palms before looking down at the ground and stepping off the fighting podium.

Your ears ring as her blows caused you some damage. Chewing on your bottom lip, you held back your defeated thoughts as Wren threw an arm around your shoulder,

"It's okay. I got a few beat downs my first year here. It gets better," she attempted to cheer you up. You merely hummed as she continued, "Anger, _ _. That's what powers you. You need—“

“I know,” you snapped, stopping your feet before rolling your eyes at her, “I know. But I’m not an angry person, and I’m shit at fighting.”

Her eyes narrowed, “Pity isn’t what makes you a Dauntless, _ _,” she stepped towards you, poking a nimble finger into your heart, “So instead of whining, kid, maybe you should just stop thinking and fight.”

Slowly nodding, you stood there as she headed over to the cafeteria for lunch. You noticed that the boxing bag area was empty—and it clicked in your head what Wren said.

Fight.

Bringing your fists up, you got into a fighting stance and threw your first punch. With gritted teeth, you felt the material bruise up your knuckles—but you wanted to feel it. Feel the pain. If you couldn’t feel the pain, then pity would just Pool around in your chest instead.

And you hated pity.

Hissing as you retracted your first, you did it again. Then repeated on the other fist. Every time the cool leather collided with your knuckles, it sent a sharp pain up your hand. But you stood through it, until the next time you swung, you didn’t realize the bag had made its own hit towards you—swinging and hitting your body with a harsh force.

Letting out a grunt, your body slammed into the cold cement of the training sector. Your ribs ached as you didn’t twitch to get up, instead accepting that you were going to be factionless if you didn’t get back up.

Get back up, _ _. You have to.

Sweat dribbled down your forehead as you landed another punch to the bag. You made it a mission to skip lunch so you could train, because you'd rather starve than be factionless. Breathing harshly through your teeth, you felt the muscles slightly tense in your arms.

"Mary poppins hasn't improved, has she?"

You felt your lip curl as you delivered another brutal hit, finally taking victory in the bag. You released a grunt as your fists kept colliding with it.

You were going to show that stuck up son of a—

"You're supposed to eat in order to gain muscle. Didn't teach you that back in Amity, huh?" You heard a voice quip, a deep and gravelly voice.

Jumping from surprise, your head snapped over to see Four leaning against one of the bags. His eyes were focused on you, smoky and stormy. You looked away from him instantly, but kept your focus on him, "Skipping lunch won't make you a Dauntles—"

"If someone tells me one more time what does or doesn't make me a Dauntless, I might just fucking shoot myself," you raised your voice, feeling the patience that usually you held snapped like a tree branch. Four's eyes stayed narrowed as he now crossed his arms, the muscles protruding from that caramel, ink covered skin of his.

You gulped, "I meant—"

He stood up straight, a smirk creeping into his plump, pink lips as he stepped towards you, "You're nothing but a farmer. You cannot train remotely enough to become one of us," he hissed, venom laced in his words. Something swirled in his eyes, making your jaw lock,

"You don't have anger. You have self pity, and Dauntless don't pity themselves. They fight, and are willing to give up their life for people. How can you fight others when you're fighting yourself already?"

You blinked, feeling anger begin to rise within you. It was a foreign feeling—but you didn't hate it. If anything, your veins welcomed the poisonous rage, but you bit your tongue.

Four laughed darkly, "You can't even speak up for yourself. Surely, you should go back to those farmers," he continued, making your fists balled up at your sides. As he continued to degrade you and your home, well— people who used to be your home, it rose.

The anger rose. It felt as the ground begun to shake, sudden flashes of all the combat you had witnessed before your eyes playing like a rapid slideshow in your mind. The cracks of the bones whenever someone would slip their foot beneath someone—breaking their balance.

Your eyes flickered up to his. He paused right before you, the scent of cologne filling your nose as your chest heaved deeply. Every sense of angst within you was on fire as he tilted his head.

"You don't belong here. But I doubt you'll be able to go home, since your parents disow—"

Your foot slipped under him, trapping him to the ground with a grunt from him. Your teeth clenched as you aimed to punch him, but he immediately snapped his eyes into yours. With furrowed brows, he grabbed your wrist and striked your leg with a harsh kick.

Your knee buckled, a bullet of pain shooting through your muscles. The cold concrete pavement of the training sector burned the flesh on your cheek, ears ringing as a dull ache formed in your back from the landing.

“C’mon, _ _,” Four chuckled, more so in a tiresome way than a tormenting tone. His chest heaved as I blinked, “Get up. Don’t give up now.”

It clicked. Was he…training you?

A boost if adrenaline shot through you. He believed in you. That was the push you needed to balance your wobbling arms off the ground, barely being able to push your body—but you did. Your fists balked at your sides as you gulped, accidentally melting into his cold eyes.

They weren’t as cold, though. As if the ice had slightly melted—but there was still another thick layer.

“Fighting is a dance,” he murmured firmly, grabbing your arm and spinning you around. You let out a harsh breathe as he held your back against his chest, before roughly pushing you away. You hit one of the punching backs, grunting as he smirked, “Until it’s not.”

“Can’t imagine dancing with you,” your eyes narrowed—only making his smirk grow.

But you didn’t hear a response, instead your eyes noticed he was about to take a step forward. Then, you watched his arm twitch—ducking before delivering a jab to his side. He flinched, which broke the barrier, and you didn’t wait to kick him down to the ground.

With a loud thud, you watched as his braid figure slammed against the ground. Picking up your feet, you darted towards him. Every single insult he’d ever thrown at you replayed in your head. He was trying to anger you.

Did he perhaps…care?

Sliding your knee across the ground, you grabbed both of his hands and held him down. Your hair fell over your face, panting deeply, as you used the rest of your strength to fight off his. His hues twitched to yours, something flashing in his eyes as they met yours.

Your throat became dry. Butterflies erupted in your tummy, a warm feeling hugging your heart.

Feeling the cheeks in your face burn—you felt the world slowly silence around you as your eyes melted onto his. You didn’t know if it was your imagination, or the adrenaline pumping in your veins—but you swore you felt his long fingers slowly graze your thigh.

Wait—

How did they get fre—

And in an instant, you were flipped into the ground. His strong hands held you down, gripping your wrist, as his muscular chest held down yours. Bodies pressed against one another, his grunts filling your ears…it was truly a sight.

A musky scent flooded your senses as you felt like you were high, wanting to reach out and touch that sculpted jaw of his. The stubble poking from his skin is probably scratchy against your palm, but his flesh still looked smooth and supple.

Despite his appearance coming off ragged and rough.

“That’s how you fight like a Dauntless,” He taunted darkly, making your brows raise in shock, “You’ll do just fine in ranks if you uh—“

His eyes fluttered to your lips, before he gulped and squeezed his eyes shut. He pushed himself off the floor, away from you, before dusting off his pants, “You should do just fine, _ _.”

Before you could say anything, he cleared his throat and made his exit.

#four #divergent #divergent smut #four smut #four divergent #tobias eaton #tobias eaton smut #tobias eaton fics #tobiaseatonsmut #oc: tobias #divergentau #divergent four #divergent fiction

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

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WIBTA if I don't want to contribute to paying for furniture for the house?

1/3/2024, Names changed. Sorry, this is a little long.

I (26) live with three roommates: Kay (22) who is my sister, Sam (22) who is Kay's high school sweetheart and fiancé, and Andy (25) who is Kay and Sam's best friend. All of us are autistic, queer, and neurodivergent in some way or another.

Background info; Kay, Sam, and Andy had had plans to move in together for several years with Andy moving cross country to do so. Kay and I both moved out of our parents house within a month of each other in Summer 2022, with Kay and Sam moving in together, and me moving into an apartment by myself. Early 2023 due to issues with my apartment and landlord and being unable/unwilling to stay there past my lease when it was up in six months, with some encouragement from our mother Kay asked if I wanted to move in with the three of them because Kay and Sam's lease was up around the same time mine was and they were already planning on getting a bigger place to live with Andy when he got here. Due to the aforementioned apartment troubles and having a hard time mentally living alone for the first time, I accepted. We found a small house and the four of us moved in Summer 2023.

Now we've butted heads a good bit the last couple months (especially me and Andy because we had barely known each other before moving in together and we have very different personalities), including a few very loud fights, but we have thus far managed to eventually talk it out and work it out and kept things mostly under control. I admit, there have been times where I was definitely the asshole in situations, but I've acknowledged that, apologized, and tried to improve my behavior since then. Anyway, this ask isn't about all those times.

A lot of my issues in the household stem from my depression and lack of motivation to get things done. A big contributing factor to that is that I am painfully aware I wasn't part of their original plan, and that leads to me not feeling wanted as part of this house. The three of them often do things without me like playing D&D, and hanging out/going fun places without me, while things I want to do with all of them just kinda never happens, like playing a video game or board game with one of them, or going out somewhere fun I want to go. Some of me not being included is completely justified like Kay and Sam's date nights, and some things while they do still sting a bit to be excluded from make sense why (like their D&D games that can get very NSFW, and I'm a sex-repulsed asexual. also being Kay's sister would make it extremely awkward regardless of my sexuality. I only found out about the NSFW nature of their games two weeks ago though), but certain things it doesn't feel like as good a reason for me to not be included or it's not actually communicated to me why I'm not invited to be part of something.

A REALLY big thing that contributed to these feelings I have was the day we got the keys to our house, as Kay and Andy were showing it to me, Kay told me "Just so you know, this isn't permanent. You're going to get your own place again eventually" with a soft deadline of two years because that's when another of their friends graduates college and might need a place to stay after. Over the last few months we have had several conversations about my feelings of being unwanted and Kay has apologized saying that what she meant that day came out wrong. What she meant by that statement was they all want to help me become more independent so that I will be able to move out and live on my own again one day when I'm ready since the first time didn't go so well. They were not/are not planning to kick me out, and the other friend moving in is just an idea that may not even come to fruition anyway. Even if it was partially a misunderstanding and there is no set time I need to be out of the house by, knowing that there is an end in sight has made it much harder for me to settle in because I don't feel like I can get settled since I'll just have to leave again at some point anyway even if that time is literal years away. Sorry if that doesn't make sense but that's the best way I can phrase it.

With all that background out of the way, I'll get back on track now. Kay and Andy have spent months planning on how to decorate the house and want to make the whole first floor (kitchen, living room, and shared craft space in the front room) themed like a medieval tavern. I haven't been able to give much input on how the house gets decorated outside of my own room. I've been trying to at least make my bedroom feel more homey since it's where I spend a lot of my time, but the common areas are much harder for me to feel comfortable and like I belong in because I don't have much control/input in how they will look. Which again, I know I'm not going to be here super long term, so it makes sense but it still sucks.

Now onto the actual situation here. There is a dining table set that Kay and Andy picked out that costs over $400 that Kay said on 12/25 she wants us all four to pitch in to get for the household for her birthday in a couple months. I am hesitant to contribute to this set, because I am not going to live with them forever. Obviously I pay my part to the household. I pay my fair share of rent, utilities, and food (though I will often make mini grocery runs throughout the week and I rarely if ever ask for money I spent back because I feel awkward about asking for money from any of them). I have already contributed towards furniture for the house but that is either things that are explicitly and exclusively mine despite household use (a tv stand I already had, a bookshelf I bought to display my things) and will come with me when I move out, or something that was a gift for someone else but still not ridiculously expensive (a $40 secondhand curio cabinet the rest of us got for Kay as an early Christmas present and various other small decorations for around the house).

There was another interaction today that has me a little upset. We've been thinking of getting a second TV for the living room so we can play online co-op games together. Who pays for the TV, determines who gets to keep the new one and who takes the old one when I leave. If the three of them want to keep the new TV, they're going to split the cost and I get the old one, however if I want the new TV I will have to pay for the whole thing myself. 1 person vs 3 people paying for something just feels unfair to me.

But the dining set feels different because it's a lot of money and I won't get to take any part of it with me when I eventually leave. With the TV I'd at least get to keep it. I feel guilty about not wanting to help pay for it, especially because Kay has said she wants it as a birthday gift, but if it almost feels like I'm just buying furniture for someone else's house. Honestly, I'll probably end up sucking it up and contributing anyway because I really don't like confrontation and tend to keep my feelings to myself anyway, but I just want to know other people's opinion on the situation.

Money has been a growing issue for me lately. I'm the only one with a stable, salaried job (barely pays above minimum wage though so it's not like I'm rolling funds), while Kay and Sam are hourly and Andy is between jobs right now. Like I said, I feel awkward about asking for money from any of them. Honestly I don't mind paying a little extra here and there to help out since I'm not much help with the cooking and cleaning, but the amount I have been contributing with no compensation has been eating away at my savings the last few months and I've been keeping silent about it because I don't want to make them feel guilty about it and make it awkward.

TLDR; I'm insecure and have trouble feeling wanted around by my roommates, and am expected to eventually move out. WIBTA if I don't want to help buy a dining set for the household because I won't get to take any part of it with me when I move out?

PS- If it's not too much trouble, could you please tag @aita-roommates-furniture so I am notified when this gets posted? Tumblr won't let me submit asks from a sideblog. If not, no worries! I'll just keep an eye out for it

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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kingofthering · 8 months

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A collection of fully unhinged quotes from Chapter 8 of Being Marquez : This is How I Win My Race :

“Of course there are a few crashes in my life I would rather have avoided. Going beyond the limit too often at the start of the 2011 season, regularly ending up flat on my face and losing all-important points to Bradl was my decision and my mistake, so not a problem. The crash in Sepang, when we came to an impassable, dangerous spot with no warning, was bad luck. But I had been incredibly lucky that year just the race before, and in a situation I was solely responsible for screwing up.”

“When we riders see the slightest chance of being able to compete in the race, we take it. You couldn't think any other way. At least, I couldn't. I really turn into an animal that no power in the world could restrain.

If it turns out in the course of a race that I'm actually not up to it, then I can deal with that. But I wouldn't be able to sleep if I hadn't tried.

But I'm not naive either. That time, I had to be sure my humerus would hold. "Definitely," the doctors said. "We've put a titanium plate in for you." Marc the cyborg... I kind of liked that.”

“Dr Sanchez-Sotelo didn't know me or what I did for a living when he said that you can't even clean windows with an upper arm twisted through 34°. I told him I rode motorbikes, but pretty miserably at the moment.”

“In the US, they severed my humerus and rotated it outwards back into its original position. The mechanical problem which had limited my mobility and that, obviously, no amount of physiotherapy was going to cure, was now resolved. The improvement in function was noticeable immediately. If I'd wanted to drink a glass of water beforehand, I had to stretch out my entire arm. It was the same thing with eating. My mechanics really noticed it of an evening. No one wanted to sit on my right anymore because they knew they'd get my elbow in their face! I only realised how warped and screwed up the whole thing was by getting feedback from others, because if the hands are basically where they are meant to be, you don't notice how far off the rest of the arm is.”

“My character changes depending on whether I can ride a motorbike or not. I need the adrenaline. Desperately. If I don't get it, like in the winter of 2022/23, when I gave my arm all the time in the world to heal completely and made sure just to get it back to where it had been, I become completely unbearable. It ended up with my brother, Álex, telling me to go out and find a girlfriend, or do something else to keep myself busy, because I was unbearable. I was like a caged tiger.”

“Your willingness to take risks is different depending on whether you're 20 or 30. But my willingness to take maximum risk, if I have to, remains unchanged. Now I think about things more precisely when I take it to the max. I used to think my body was made for racing. Now I say if I don't look after my body, I won't be able to race. It's a small but crucial difference. Risk management is new to the Marc Marquez system.”

#marc marquez #reading tihiwmr #made me pause so much to really process everything in that chapter #holidays queue

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kitorin · 10 months

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OUR SPRING

013. bros before hoes

a/n. rin pov for this chapter !

July 2022

Challenges and new difficulties never scared or worried Rin.

However, that was only limited to football. Sure, a successful change in career was an amazing feat done by him, and it doesn't compare to moving up a class in mathematics. But in music, he has the other three, as well as the company, and on the soccer field there are 10 other players by his side, as well as the bench, coach and manager.

But within this classroom, he was on his own.

He knew that very well, and his expectations were met the moment he walked in and settled down at a desk.

"Why is Rin in this class?"

"He's delusional if he thinks he can do well here."

"Isn't he really stupid?"

Hate isn't something foreign to Rin. Even before becoming an idol many despised him and his diligence, as well as his skills and abilities. They can't do anything to him; they don't even have the guts to say it directly at him because they know they his fame won't let them get away with it.

What really worried him, was how true their statements were.

"Oi Tada." Rin wasn't one to involve himself in any drama, but this time he was genuinely curious, and was also technically apart of it. He carefully listened to the stranger without making it obvious.

"Don't go around running your mouth. Especially about grades when you've only gotten 60% at best here." Aside from English, Rin would've considered 60% on a test great, to him, a pass was a pass.

'Tada' was offended, immediately lashing out. "I'm sorry you're smart, only three people got As last semester." What kind of excuse was that?

The stranger remained stoic, Rin would've retaliated violently if someone tried to justify their words by calling him skilled. "Then join us three, shouldn't be that hard?"

"The tests here are hard-"

"Doesn't matter. Regardless of how hard it is you have no right to judge someone else and are in position to do so or even try."

The argument was cut short with the arrival of the teacher, but the winner was evident; the calm stranger sat next to Rin. Must be a fan of his if they sat with him without hesitation.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I already said I was." He had no idea why they kept bothering with him, maybe if he gave them an autograph they'll stop.

"Geez. You're cold."

"Then go sit somewhere else." Rin missed when all his actions and words weren't monitored, now he can't call anyone an idiot or lukewarm without getting cancelled.

"You think I want to sit near that?" He'd rather die than admit it, but the disgusted accentuation of the last word and the gesture towards the rest of the class amused him. "That's what I thought."

"So, what's your name?" They continued speaking. "I'm y/n."

The question proves his guess wrong, you weren't a fan and didn't even know who he was. There's a tiny bit of guilt for assuming otherwise.

"Itoshi Rin."

"Nice meeting you. I'll be seeing you a lot from now on."

"Doubt that." Give it a test or two and the teacher would start convincing him to move back down to standard. "Studying isn't my thing."

"You're so pessimistic." You switch to a whisper, as the teacher assigns work for revision of the previous semester.

"I'm being realistic. I'm shit at school." He wouldn't talk about himself this much with someone outside of his band, but his academic capabilities were no secret, pretty much everyone knew how low his results were.

"So? You can improve a lot regardless."

"Easier said than done."

"I was bad at math last year."

"Your idea of bad is anything under an A." It's a guess, most people who were good at school would rather die than get anything that wasn't outstanding. Rin acknowledges how suffocating perfectionism was, especially when people invalidate the sense of disappointment just because others would kill for the same result; now he sort of understands how other soccer players felt.

"I guess that's true." Rin scoffs at your agreement. "But I've done a lot worse than a B."

"Can't be that bad."

"47% was my first result last year." It's pretty good in comparison to Rin's results, but if a pass was a pass, then a fail was a fail. "Then I got around 70%." You probably ended up investing in tuition if you improved that much.

"Then 30%." That sounded a lot more relatable to Rin.

"You weren't wrong about bad."

"See? But then I got an 87% after that."

"Are you here just to show off your grades?" It came out coldly, but he didn't say it with hostile intentions.

"No, my point is, anyone can improve."

"Don't bother, I can't get a tutor."

" You don't need a tutor either, I didn't need one." But we're not the same. Rin's so tempted to say it out loud, why were you trying so hard to help him?

"Fine. I'll give you a term and if you were wrong don't even bother."

"Deal."

Rin's happy.

He can't help but grin (a rare occasion) at the 75% in bright red, you really weren't lying when you insisted he'd be fine. It's not exactly perfect, nor an A, but it's such a significant improvement and that's all that matters; he's proud of himself.

"See? I told you you'd do better. Well done." You pat his shoulder, as you're both on the way to the station.

Even if you were wrong about him, he'd still be content. Not only you were efficient at teaching, but you were also kind, and a generally comfortable person to be around. Nothing you said was unnecessary or illegitimate, you were honest but not harsh.

Rin's opened up to you a lot. From the reason why he quit soccer to another potential career change in the future. It didn't matter what it was since you always listened without judgement.

"I can't take any credit, it's all yours. You're the one who taught me everything. He still can't understand why you think of him so highly, you're the one who put most of the effort into making sure he could perform well, while maintaining your own grade simultaneously.

"Don't discredit yourself."

Before Rin can respond, you continue speaking.

"It was you who ultimately decided to join the advanced class, you put a lot of effort it without ruining the rest of your schedule. Be proud of yourself Rin, most people can't even dream of confronting their struggles. It's scary to try something new."

Rin agrees with the last statement, even if he did it with the expectation of giving up quickly.

"y/n."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"For?"

"Everything." For defending him on the first day. For helping him. For believing in him.

"That's what friends are for, no?"

Friends. The closest to those were his bandmates (or as Reo calls it 'family', with him as the doting parent and Hyoma and Rin as the 'kids'), or teammates, who he doesn't even speak to anymore. You're probably the first person to willingly talk to him normally, not because you're forced to or interested in his fame.

Rin pulls you in for a hug, earning a surprised gasp from you. He releases you quickly, after processing what he just did.

"Sor-"

But before he can finish apologising, you hug him back, to Rin, the affection is foreign yet welcomed.

July 2023

Rin tosses his phone onto his bed, as he drops his school bag on the floor. He'd never tell him but the conversation with Hyoma had a smile tugging at his lips; both at how ridiculous is was and how it reminded him of you.

There's a deep sense of gratitude Rin has, that two of his close friends are dating; because he cares for both of you. He knows very well that you're both amazing people (even if he does slander Hyoma constantly) and only wants the best for your relationship.

TWELVE | FOURTEEN | MASTERLIST

PAIRING. chigiri hyoma x reader

SYNOPSIS. school gets overwhelming with constant rumours and accusations, thankfully someone is willing to help. but what happens when this mutually beneficial agreement escalates into something more?

GENRE. social media au, fake dating, idol / actor au

TAGLIST. @saesins, @angelchigiri, @punkhazardlaw, @silly-ez, @y-sabell-a, @mellozhi, @luvlunazx, @oldest-dream-pdf, @misfits1a, @hoshithinker, @livelaughloveisagiyoichi, @mave-in, @rinsie, @luvcryo, @fabitheraven, @h3xi2g0n3

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animebw · 4 months

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Short Reflection: Fall 2023 Anime

Is it fair to call 2023 a disappointing year for anime? Maybe it's just that 2021 and 2022 were both so above and beyond that coming back down to normalcy from that peak feels like a letdown. But man, between a mostly uninspiring winter lineup and summer being possibly the single worst anime season since seasonal watching started being a thing, there's been plenty to complain about. Thankfully, there's been plenty to appreciate as well, and while this fall season hasn't been truly transcendent, it's at least left us with a slew of worthwhile anime to close the year out. So let's sift through the rubble and rank all the shows I finished to see which ones ended as true must-watches, which are still worth a look, and which you can skip without missing anything.

Firefighter Daigo (1st Half): 4/10

So, remember Space Brothers? Remember how wonderfully that show balanced naturalistic character building with the excitement and beauty of exploring a high-stakes environment like space? Have you been looking for another show to hit that same sweet spot of grounded maturity and tangible whimsy that makes your childhood dream job feel more achievable than ever? Well... guess you better keep looking, because Firefighter Daigo is not that. There's some beautifully nail-biting tension to the rescue sequences themselves, expertly stacking one thing after another going wrong as our protagonists are forced to think on their feet to save lives under the most pressure imaginable. But the characters are utterly bland, the production is boring on a near-inconceivable level (man, remember when this guy directed a single good-looking episode of To Your Eternity and completely failed to live up to that potential ever again?), it wastes over three minutes each episode on recap footage, and it take such a bizarre, condescending attitude toward its one female character that the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth. It's an overly cheesy puppet show playing at being a real story, and I will not be sticking around to see if its second cours improves in any way.

Stardust Telepath: 4.5/10

Man, I'm frustrated I didn't like this one more. I always appreciate Cute Girls anime that put this much polish and energy into their adaptation, and the concept of socially awkward Umika Konohoshi wishing she could escape this planet to make friends among the stars, only to find her place on earth on her journey to reach there, has all the makings of a coming-of-age masterpiece. Sadly, it's done in by the simplest of failures: melodrama overdose. All the attempts at heartstring-pulling are so overbearing and browbeating that every moment that tries to drag tears from your eyes just leaves you exasperated instead. It completely lacks confidence in its ability to touch your emotions on the quality of its writing alone, so it smothers you in sappy speeches and ear-bleeding Feel Sad Music until you feel like you're choking on the stuff. Not even the top-shelf yuribaiting between the two leads can wipe the frustration away, and I'm about the easiest mark for that kind of stuff as you can imagine. Someone get this forehead-touch almost-kiss telepathy into a better show immediately!

I'm in Love with the Villainess: 4.5/10

I honestly feel back about being so down on I'm in Love With the Villainess. Lord knows I'm always complaining we need more isekai with an actual point to make, and an unapologetically queer take on the shoujo villainess trope that actually has something to say about the lesbian experience amidst the romantic goofery certainly fits that bill. Except, well... I already watched this show when it was called MagiRevo. And when it was called Mage and Demon Queen. And in a world where those two stories basically perfected the "lesbian disaster courts a closed-off tsundere" isekai-adjacent fantasy yarn, there's nothing this show can offer that hasn't already been done so much better. Well, okay, the conversation in episode 3 exploring the pushy protagonist's complex self-loathing relationship with her own queerness was certainly unique, but you end up spending the rest of the show waiting in vain for it to do something that interesting ever again, only to be met with overly tropey writing, cliches, and unexpected swerves into problematic WTF territory instead. There are good ideas here buried here, but it needed a better studio to refine it to the point it needed to be, and it got stuck with Platinum Vision instead. What a shame.

Uma Musume Season 3: 4.5/10

At this point I have to wonder if even Uma Musume is getting tired of its own shtick. It's been three seasons and an OVA of the most melodramatic sports anime histrionics imaginable, and all that shouting and wailing has to get exhausting after a while. And while season 3 is still every bit as overblown and overbearing as the franchise has always been, it also feels like it's poking fun at itself for taking this nonsense so damn seriously. Two characters have a sappy emotional heart-to-heart while furiously paddling a paddleboat. Former protagonist and resident crybaby Special Week's tearful speeches are basically ignored by everyone else in the cast as they keep talking over her and tuning her out. The running gag of the Overly Serious Race Commenters get upstaged by a pair of even older, more seasoned Overly Serious Race Commenters. Hell, even the fact we only get a single idol performance at the very end seems to hint at just how weary this story's become of its own conceit. Uma Musume has always been an overthought, overdesigned mess of a show, so bloated on anime nonsense and ill-matched tropes that it rarely manages to capture anything real amidst the corporate plasticness of it all. But I'm not gonna lie, there's something equally hilarious and depressing about seeing it finally start to admit its own pointlessness.

Ron Kamonohashi's Forbidden Deductions: 5/10

How good does a show have to be at character banter to make up for a failure of writing in pretty much every other respect? That's the question Ron Kamonohashi's Forbidden Deductions seems willed into existence to answer. As a snappy buddy-cop comedy between an eccentric genius detective and his beleaguered straight-man sidekick, it's every bit the equal of 2011's Sherlock. As an actual mystery thriller... it is also, sadly, every bit the equal of 2011's Sherlock. I could watch the titular Ron fail upwards through his case-solving conundrums dragging the hapless rookie detective Toto with him all day. Their chemistry is infectious. It's just a shame the actual detective work is so hacky and contrived, cheap solutions to mostly dull mysteries that never give you that "Aha!" moment of seeing the puzzle pieces come together. And the overarching plot involving prestigious detective academies, shadowy criminal syndicates, and bizarre involuntary hypnosis powers feels like it purposefully ignores every opportunity to explore any ideas deeper than basic shonen moralizing. I might still pop back in for season 2 to enjoy more wacky hijinks between the leads, but if you're looking for something to scratch your mystery itch, give this one a pass.

Arknights: Perish in Frost: 5/10

Now that's more like it! Sort of. Almost. Okay, look, for the first half and change of its run, the second season of Arknights manages to be every bit the improvement on the first season I was hoping for. It streamlines the plot to keep a constant, propulsive forward momentum, pushing its characters forward and keeping the narrative lens focused so it can do justice to all its major players. And it pushes all those disparate factions on a collision course with each other that leads to constant, meaningful consequences and character building, aided by a production that hits its high water marks far more consistently than season 1. It feels like Arknights has shaken off the bloat and become the best possible version of itself, a dark action season with some genuine muscle behind it... at least until we enter the final stretch and the pacing goes absolutely out of control, speeding into a brick wall so fast and recklessly that you're barely able to understand what the fuck just happened by the time it's over. It's shockingly rushed, to the point you feel like you're watching someone recite the Wiki at you while skipping over all the connective tissue that would make these plot points make sense. It's a frustrating end to a season that came so close to being good, and I can only hope any future installments never make that mistake again.

Undead Unluck (1st Half): 5/10

Undead Unluck is host to one of the single most bonkers sci-fi settings I've ever seen, anime or otherwise. From what starts feeling like just our world with some supernatural freaks and weirdos causing havoc, it gradually reveals itself to be something more akin to a nightmarish cosmic RPG in the hands of a mad god, where none of the rules of our world can be taken for granted and reality is only ever a hair's breadth away from turning on its head. It's a deliriously creative premise to build a shonen battle manga out of, and I can't wait to see what other insanity the writers can milk out of this setup. Which is good, because otherwise, hooooooooo boy this one does not get off on a good foot. What fucking genius decided the main duo's dynamic should be built around the guy molesting the girl to make her powers activate? In what universe was building a love story out of that sexual harassment a good idea? I'm sorry, but when you've mistaken a swaggering half-naked dude-bro casually trying to outright assault his partner as cute hot-and-cold couple banter, you have officially lost the plot. Can somebody break into Shonen Jump studios and teach this company how to write a proper romance one of these days? Deku and Uraraka can't carry the whole genre on their back, guys!

Migi and Dali: 5.5/10

Is Migi and Dali a good show? I honestly don't think I could tell you. What it is, is utterly bizarre in everything in does, yet somehow kind of makes it all work? It's a Diamond-is-Unbrekable-esque off-kilter small town murder mystery, with a pair of identical twins pretending to be one kid to fool their new adoptive parents as they search for the person responsible for killing their mother years ago. The whole thing plays like a pitch-black parody of stereotypical suburban life, finding the cracks in the facade of normalcy and ripping them open until your only options are to laugh wildly or cringe wildly at the resulting desecration. And you will do plenty of both all throughout as it ping-pongs from accidental twincest to toddler play to to not-so-garden-variety abuse to Excessive English and basically everything in between. If there's an aspect of your stereotypical boring, domestic family experience that Migi and Dali can twist into a grotesque mockery of itself, it'll do just that and then some. The unfortunate side effect, though, is that it can be hard to tell where the line lies between intentional commentary and just being gross and uncomfortable for its own sake. And when that threatens to veer into some really misogynistic territory in the final act, it becomes even harder to stomach. Still, I can safely say I've never seen anything quite like this show, and considering the manga's author tragically passed away recently, you can't help but respect the people making it for honoring her memory this way.

Shy: 5.5/10

Shy is one of the rare manga I've read before the anime came out, inspired by a friend who came across it at random and it became their favorite manga of all time after just eleven chapters. I wasn't quite as swept away, and I don't think it's maintained the level of quality its first couple arcs had, but man, there's something special about this one. Which is why I am personally begging you not to watch the anime and go straight to the manga, because this adaptation really doesn't do justice to how electrifying and soul-enriching the manga can be. Masaomi Ando's a good director, but his penchant for paneling and stylistic insert shots, an aesthetic which works wonders on heavily atmospheric mood pieces like Toiled-Bound Hanako-kun and Scum's Wish, is completely at odds with the needs of a straightforward superhero battle series. The manga's artwork has this wonderfully sketchy, explosive quality that makes every action panel feel like a rush of cascading moments; here, every action scene quickly descends into a mess of moving jpegs and awkwardly placed insert frames that cripples its ability to wow you. There's enough of the manga's triumphant spirit preserved that it still shakes out decently- the orphanage arc that closes out the first season is wonderful enough to survive any imperfections from page to screen- but if the story of Teru's struggles and self-actualization touched you at all, you owe it to yourself to check out the source material to experience this story in its best form.

The 100 Girlfriends Who Really Really Really Really Really Love You: 6/10

Listen, you know me. You know how much I despise the harem genre. There's barely a single example of the form I consider anything above mediocre slop. So how did a show with this premise manage to get into my good graces? By understanding one simple fact that so few harem anime seem to realize: if you want something this inherently stupid to work? Embrace the fucking stupidity. Throw caution and common sense and good taste to the wind and just go absolutely bugnuts. Why settle for a scant five or six barely interchangeable waifu bait when you can have one hundred distinct and memorable personalities? Why waste time on cheap melodrama that nobody cares about when there are fourth walls to break and scenarios to push far beyond their logical extremes? 100 Girlfriends knows that the only proper form for this genre is sheer anarchy, going so far over-the-top with its jokes and setups that it's impossible not to get swept up in the sheer audacity of it all. And somehow, by imbuing this madcap nonsense with just a drop of sincerity, it actually makes you care about Best Boy Aijou Rentarou and his ever-growing posse of romantic partners as a strangely healthy polyamorous support system for each other. It's far from flawless and good lord is it problematic from top to bottom, but if you can vibe to its particular brand of earnestly empathetic chaos, it's an experience like none other.

Overtake: 6.5/10

Overtake is the most frustrating kind of anime: a really good show that's constantly threatening- but never fully succeeds- at being great. It has all the pieces you could want! A masterful production from veteran directer Ei Aoki that brings the world of Formula 4 racing to life with tactile, lived-in lushness. Characters who breathe far beyond the confines of the screen, rich with inner life and complex relationships where you come to love the rivals just as much as the scrappy underdog protagonists. A story that tackles genuinely moving and mature ideas as it explores what it means to give your all to something, even when the risks may be too horrifying to reckon with. It's as perfectly positioned for greatness as you could ask from a sports anime... and yet it never quite takes off the way you want it to. It's just missing that little extra something to push it over the edge, but for the life of me, I can't figure out what that might be. It's still absolutely worth a look, but as much as I liked it, I'm gonna be stewing over why I didn't love it for a while.

The Ancient Magus Bride Season 2 Part 2: 6.5/10

Alright, that's more what I was hoping for. After a frustratingly slow and plodding first half, the back half The Ancient Magus Bride's second season finally starts paying off all that torturous setup and reminding us that when it wants to, nothing goes harder than Chise's tale of trauma, abuse and recovery, especially now that she's the guiding light for another girl crawling out of pit much like the one she was once trapped in. It's genuinely powerful watching her try to help Philomena out from under a painfully familiar burden, struggling save someone like her while she's still struggling with the scars her own darkness has left on her. And whenever it's focused on that, it's as good as The Ancient Magus Bride has ever been. It's just a shame that whenever all that potent character drama gives way to fae-on-fae magical showdowns, it's some of the ugliest, clunkiest, most poorly staged action in all of fall's lineup. It utterly fails to capture the sense of eldritch awe and wonder this series' magic invokes, leaving it feeling like a shell of itself even when everything else is operating at full capacity. Hopefully, future seasons will take the time they need to bring that aspect up to par, because a series this steeped in the haunting grandeur of its aesthetic cannot afford to cut corners on that aesthetic.

Spy x Family Season 2: 7.5/10

Do my eyes deceive me? A Yor-centric arc? This show finally gives one of its nominal protagonists a turn in the spotlight after ages of underuse with a big, lengthy, consequential story that lets her shine like never before? It's like Christmas came early. I've been up and down about Spy x Family over the course of its run, but the cruise ship arc that dominates this season is everything great about this show operating at the top of its potential, and god damn is it marvelous to watch unfold. If only it was this good on a consistent basis, it would be an easy shoe-in for one of the greatest anime of the decade. But you know what? As long as it keeps delivering highlights like this, I've got nothing to complain about. At this point, Spy x Family has comfortably settled into being a reliably entertaining action-heavy family sitcom with lovable characters and occasional moments of greatness, and if that's all it ultimately amounts to, well, there are far worse things to be. Just please, for the love of god, keep Yuri off screen as much as possible.

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off: 8/10

So cards on the table: the live action Scott Pilgrim vs the World movie is one of my favorite films of all time. It's such a perfect explosion of geeky awesomeness from one of our greatest living directors, managing to push the medium of live action closer to anime than it ever was before or has been since. So the prospect of seeing the original comic actually made into an anime was very exciting to me. How cool would it be to finally see the source material that inspired this movie brought to life, never mind with Science Goddamn Saru pushing the animation into overdrive? But much to my shock- and eventual delight- Scott Pilgrim Takes Off had much more exciting things in mind than simply slapping a decades-old comic series on screen. Instead, it's something closer to an Evangelion-style Rebuild, taking a sharp left and remixing the story and characters with the perspective of a more mature creator, reckoning with his successes and failures alike as he re-assesses the story he was trying to tell and what parts of it still hold value today. It's Scott Pilgrim as told by someone who's outgrown the transient young adulthood central to the narrative, taking stock of his past from an older, wiser perspective and making amends where he fell short before. And as much as I might have liked a straightforward adaptation, what I got instead was so exciting and fresh that I can't complain. If only every anime was this willing to get creative with its source material.

The Apothecary Diaries (1st Half): 8.5/10

Say a prayer and set off some fireworks, folks: the shoujosei renaissance is here! After a years-long drought, the anime industry is finally remembering that stories targeted at women and girls are also worthy of high-profile prestige adaptations instead of settling for barely animated table scraps. And of all the breakout hits we've had this past year and change, none have slapped quite as hard as The Apothecary Diaries, a historical Chinese mystery drama that marries fascinating courtly intrigue with a bitterly honesty exploration of how the lowest rungs of society- women and poor people especially- are systemically crushed by the structures that govern their world. As hilarious as this show can be, it's also unnervingly frank about the darkness the Emperor's courtesans and their servants must reckon with as pawns in a patriarchal society. And it drives that message home with a truly wonderful protagonist in Maomao, a girl who just wants to keep her head down and get through life without drawing unwanted attention from the forces that could easily squash her like a bug, but has too strong a moral compass to look the other way when she sees the people around her suffering from those same injustices. It's the story of a powerless person using all the tools at her disposal to keep the world's cruelty at bay, and watching her struggle to win what small victories she's capable of against such an overwhelming power structure makes for some of the most gripping television I've watched in quite a long time. And if the second cours is even half as good as good, it will still earn its place among the years' best.

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End (1st Cours): 9/10

The big fantasy adventure is over. The demon king is dead, the world is at peace, and the heroes who defeated him slowly grow old and die in the new age they ushered in. All, that is, except Frieren, a near-immortal elf with such a long lifespan that a human's life is a mere drop in the ocean for her. But with the passing of her former party's leader, she realizes just how much the short time she spent on that adventure have affected her. Ten years- a mere millisecond in the life of an elf- has changed the way she sees the world more profoundly than she ever could have dreamed. So she sets out on a journey to retrace the steps of that adventure, to reconnect with her memories of the old friends she's only now realizing she wished she got to know better before it was too late. Along the way she picks up a couple of those friends' young disciples to join her party, walking reminders of the past she left behind and the future that awaits her. And through their travels, she slowly begins to understand humanity and her place within it... and all the experiences she will carry with her long after they've faded into mere memory.

I'll admit, there are times I like being an anime hipster. There's something inherently indulgent, if not exactly healthy, of feeling superior to a mass-market piece of entertainment that you're too Smart and Intellectual to be fooled by. But sometimes, you just gotta call a spade a spade. Sometimes, the weeb consensus gets it really, really right. Yes, Frieren: Beyond Journey's End is every bit as self-evidently spectacular as everyone says it is, so on-its-face magical it's almost kind of insulting. It's a quiet, meditative fantasy exploration of grief, longing, the passage of time, and what it truly means to live a fulfilling life when everything you cherish within it must one day fade into nothing. It's poignant and intimate on a level that's hard to describe, yet equally grand and majestic whenever it wishes. It's also one of the funniest goddamn shows I've watched in a while, with jokes that hit from unexpected, awkward angles that left me rolling on the floor. If his work on Bocchi the Rock hadn't already proven it, this cements Keichirou Saitou as one of our greatest modern anime directors, a master of melding tones and moods and imbuing every shot with vibrant inner life. It's almost disappointing whenever it leans into action; as spectacularly animated as its battles are, it's those quiet moments of grace and warmth that truly make this show something remarkable. Bottom line, Frieren is a runaway leader for 2023's best TV anime, a show we'll be talking about for decades to come. I can't think of a better high note to start 2024 on.

Dropped:

Shield Hero Season 3 (4 Episodes)

My Daughter Left the Nest and Returned an S-Rank Adventurer (3 Episodes)

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hearthouses · 4 months

Text

top 4 works of 2023

I was tagged by @nameslikeguns and also @preseriesdean was an inspiration, but I modified it to four because I'm not super proud of any of my edits this year and I wasn't able to squeeze out another fic before the end of the year, so we're going with top four! I am also not going to rank them, but list them in chronological order from their posting date.

This year was a better year than the last two in terms of writing output, I had a rough 2021 and posted nothing, and only posted one fic in 2022, so four is a massive improvement, even if it feels miniscule compared of other people's outputs. The Fall was when I was most productive and I am very proud of what I wrote then, exploring concepts I was particularly interested in, even if it's not the most popular and putting myslf out there regardless.

I think I would have continued that streak had I not gotten covid, then 2+ months of complications from covid, but I am trying to drag myself out of that funk. I am hoping to write more in 2024 as I have so many WIPs I want to get to and finish.

Anyway, here's the list:

1. when you're smiling and astride me

This was the first work I posted this year. It felt good to write it, but it also came with some challenges because I wrote it for an exchange and I was very nervous with some of the concepts and how they would go over. But the exchange itself was based on the idea of freeing your id and going wild, so I eventually just went with it and this was the result. I really love exploring Dean's feelings about his body and gender expression, and how Sam helps with it, and my only regret is I wish it was longer.

2. you say, go fast (i say, hold on tight)

This was written in a haze of early Fall because of another exchange that created a level of freedom that unlocked something in my brain that kept me from second guessing myself. It sprang from a concept fanvid and I came up with the idea wholesale from some mental images and let the story happen. I'm very fond of the result, even if it feels saccharine and too sweet and romantic for some. I really love the vibes and the imagery, plus how in love Sam and Dean are.

3. the landscape after cruelty

The process for this fic was grueling. No idea was working the way I wanted, so I needed to come up with a new idea altogether and at times, I almost didn't finish this fic. I have no playlist because I needed quiet to work on this. None of my usual preparations for writing fic worked for this one. The subject matter was daunting and I'm still unsure if I accomplished what I set out to, but I am proud of it. It's not very popular and I wonder if I hit the wrong notes often, but I'm also very protective of it. It's a weird fic that I'm not sure how I feel about the end result 100%, but I had to at least try and explore my feelings around the subject matter.

4. we could live forever in each other’s faces

This fic was written during the height of my illness. It wasn't supposed to be the fic I wrote because I had bigger plans (longer, more complicated fics), so I needed to scale them down to something more managable. How I did that was I chose to write the scenes in a series of drabbles, double drabbles, and triple drabbles, so I could focus on the preciseness of the word count. While this style of writing might feels limiting, it helps me to focus. I really love the dreamy, fairytale-like result of this. I still want to write a longer fic about these themes, but I am glad I wrote this all the same.

#end of the year works list #wincest #sam x dean #masterlist #of sorts?#idk what to tag this as

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abbeyofcyn · 7 months

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Heya! I’m going around and asking a bunch of my favorite Tmnt artists the same questions out of curiosity

How did you discover/get into Tmnt?

When did you start drawing/actively start trying to improve your art?

It was a warm summer's day in August 2022 when I was hiding in the darkness of my home. Oh how bored I was as summer slipped away and I wished to do something more than stare at the ceiling.

I opened Netflix after ages of ignoring it and then I saw.

A trailer.

Bright colours flashing on my screen. Action scenes so intriguing I had to know more.

But... it was tmnt and... well ugh I never cared for tmnt.

But it looked so good...

I could try? Maybe it wasn't that bad? I could always turn it off...

Anyhow flash forward to now and it seems I've got a new hyper focus that has hit me hard and got me to actually draw fanart and even worse...fanfics

----

As for drawing, my mum told me that I drew as soon as I could hold a pencil. I remember drawing daily for years until...hm...13 years ago? I gradually stopped and often didn't draw more than once a year with a few revivals here and there.

With some pushing from others I started drawing again at the start of this year and boy I never expected to draw almost daily again. Let alone fanart which I almost never drew! (I only have some very old final fantasy and kingdom hearts fanart)

I uh... should actively try to improve my art but unfortunately I don't like making mistakes and you need to make those to improve instead of only drawing what's already familiar and safe. I also wish I could get feedback but my rl friends just like everything and although that's super sweet it won't help me get better 🙈

#ask abbey #whoops #accidental long answer #sorry in advance

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stormyoceans · 4 months

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I'm thinking about all the complains and annoyance from some folk that jimmysea not only got a new show but got a p'aof show and how a loud subset if people were at best dismissive of last twilight (luckily there was so much love for it too) and how when the show started they had to push it back because it suddenly got more engagement than they were expecting due to that gorgeous trailer and now it's so beloved by so many people and folk are calling it the best bl of 2023 and one of p'aofs best works and praising jimmysea every episode and it's just such an incredible journey!! it and they just keep getting better and better and it's just so wonderful and gratifying to see and whether they make endless more shows together or none i think this will always remain such a special and unique show and i hope everyone is just so proud of the work they've done!

it really has been one heck of a journey since last twilight was first announced back in november 2022, and seeing it all written down like this it's. IT'S MAKING ME PRETTY EMOTIONAL NGL

i also remember people wishing the project went to other pairs because they thought jimmysea didn't have the chemistry nor the skills to do this story justice, and look where we are now. a lot of those same people are now praising both jimmy's and sea's acting, they're expressing their admiration for how they're portraying the characters, they're enjoying their chemistry and their kisses (WHICH IS A BIG DEAL OKAY. i've seen some comments and i don't bear grudges but also i do not forget), they're appreciating their off screen relationship, they are making gifs and edits and analysis about the show, they're putting it in their top 10 best BLs of 2023 even if it's not over yet....... there is just a lot of love surrounding the show and jimmysea themselves nowadays and it's very touching

both jimmy and sea are constantly working so hard to get better, they're always giving it their whole in everything they do and the way they've grown and improved so much in the past year is the proof of that. i do desperately need the show to stick the landing for so many reasons, but whatever happens in the last three episodes of the show, the one thing that's not gonna change is how proud i am of jimmysea, and i do hope that everyone will keep loving them for a long time no matter what

#SORRY IM BASICALLY JUST REPEATING WHAT YOU SAID WITH SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT WORDS BUT IM JUST #I REALLY AM SO EMOTIONAL ABOUT JIMMYSEA AND HOW MANY MORE PEOPLE HAVE STARTED TO LOVE THEM #IT'S WHAT THEY DESERVE AND I HOPE EVERYONE WILL KEEP SUPPORTING THEM IN ALL THEIR FUTURE PROJECTS #jimmy jitaraphol #sea tawinan #jimmysea #m: ask

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velvet-cupcake-games · 11 months

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Made Marion June Development Update: Schedule Edition, Straight Talk

[I decided to post our June dev update early, because I have some difficult things to say, but I hope this will get us all on the same page about what's happened with Made Marion since our Kickstarter.]

Hi everyone! I've decided to check in early with a report on our development schedule and some straight talk on some tough stuff. I hope this will help us all get on the same page and be excited instead of worried about Made Marion's development process.

First of all, thank you all so much for your magnificent patience and concern! This is definitely not how I wanted Made Marion's development to go or how it would have gone if things were still the way they were for our team back when we ran our Kickstarter. We have been seriously kicked in the teeth repeatedly, and I'd like to offer a better explanation and our proposed solutions and revised schedule.

I'm also sorry for the lack of pretty pictures this month! There will be many available very soon when Robin's beta test is ready to go!

The Problems:

1. As of fall 2021, things were going pretty well! We'd just run a beta for Made Marion's prologue and my route outlines were shaping up nicely. Then things began to go wrong. I had some issues at home that took up my attention, and then my darn town flooded. Drat it, ok, lost a couple months, but we can get back on track in 2022...

2. Then 2022, for various reasons was a disaster for pretty much our entire team (I'm only going to talk about my problems here, because those are the ones it is mine to share). It ended up being basically a wash for development. Why wasn't that obvious from our development updates? Because of my brain. I contracted Covid in January of 2022 and a few weeks later, the Long Covid symptoms started. I was near-narcoleptic for several months. It was scary and embarrassing and I didn't know how to talk about it. So I was as positive as I could be. Around May, my body started to recover. I was able to live more normally and I figured that meant I could get back to development.

What I didn't know and couldn't effectively communicate was that the brain fog was still there. I was writing, but not in a straight line. I wrote scenes for all the love interests here and there, scribbled a bunch in my notebooks, but a full, logical route for Robin wasn't happening. And the problem with your brain not working right is that it's very difficult to understand that your brain isn't working right. I thought things were cool! So it appeared that I wasn't being honest about the status of development without me realizing it did or even fully understanding that development wasn't going well. I'm very sorry about that.

3. Around November of 2022 my brain started working better again, but I was demoralized and felt like I'd forgotten how to write. I "eased" myself back into writing with a huge fic, along with finally getting back to putting words together for Robin. I wrote words! Lots of words! Good words! Yeah! We pulled together as a team and got our enhanced demo out, which was a lot of work but was super exciting.

4. Feeling guilty about the wash that was 2022 and excited because of how much verbiage I'd put out, I created an ambitious schedule toward an Early Access release of all the Sherwood routes this fall. It was based on the amount of words I'd been putting out, so I was convinced it was doable. Some of you wrote in to Tumblr with concerns that it was overly ambitious. You were wonderful and primarily concerned for my well-being. You were also correct.

The Solutions:

1. I need to accept that I have a disabling condition that currently has no cure and that, although it has greatly improved since last year, means that I can't always work at my peak capacity. This is super tough for a high achiever with general anxiety. I hate even talking about it, but I want to be as transparent with y'all as I can be.

2. The schedule: I still wish to keep a relatively ambitious target schedule for the remainder of development. I think it is helping us all Get Shit Done(tm). I just need to be a little less ambitious. I still plan to release Early Access this fall and I'm still hoping for October (which was always tentative), but November may be more realistic. It depends on how well my body and mind cooperate over the summer, and on the individual situations of our artists. Early Access will launch with Robin and Will's routes. John is going to need to take more time. It will be worth it, because he will get the full attention and care that his wonderful self deserves.

3. The weekly mini-dev updates: I have started posting mini-dev updates on Mondays on Tumblr. This is the place to go if you want a more granular report of the progress we've been making, and I think they're going to be very helpful for maintaining clarity and helping keep us all on-task.

4. Beta: I have more detailed information about Beta in the Kickstarter version of this update.

Conclusion:

Looking back from here, our original release date estimate from Kickstarter was too ambitious even under ideal circumstances. That was my development inexperience speaking. The rest was a lot of IRL horribleness. However, the gang is back together now, and the game is now, actually, truly, progressing nicely once more. Going forward, I'll be able to post much more concrete progress and I think doing so as I write each route is a better choice than posting a bunch of specific completion dates that we may not meet. You'll be able to see our progress as it happens instead.

Notes and Goodies:

Robin's new expressions are in! I love the way he turned out and Arrapso (a fellow perfectionist, err, high achiever) seems happier with him now as well. Awesome! I will post some previews on Tumblr soon, once I have coded a few of the new expressions into the game client.

John's role-playing choice has been re-configured a bit. I was previously calling it "conflict or compromise," but I was getting stuck on the "conflict" part because I didn't want Marion and John to be fighting all the time if you made those choices. It didn't seem like fun, or particularly in-character for John. I am now calling it "challenge or compromise." Because John is kind and wonderful and protective but is also traumatized and stubborn and overprotective. Sometimes he needs to be challenged, and it won't always lead to an argument. I think this makes for more interesting choices and for John to have more room to be John.

I coded in Will's first use of his genuine smile expression (you get to confront him about his attitude early on in Robin's route) and am happy to report that it is SUPER EFFECTIVE.

For any of you Ren'py devs out there, I continue to evangelize matrixcolor. It's relatively new, but you should absolutely check out what it can do. Previously, I used it to tint our characters a bit so they blended in better with evening and night backgrounds. I also used it to sepia-tone memory sequences. I've now used it to make images slowly disappear via transparency and turn our blood animation green instead of red for... spoiler purposes. It is so easy and flexible, you should absolutely play with it!

I'll be reporting in later this month on our Beta test status!

#made marion #made marion dev update #tough stuff #Brains and nervous systems are super duper weird and modern medicine doesn't have a good handle on them yet

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nervarts · 4 months

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I am too shy to do an art vs artist trend, so have an art summary instead!

Without lying, 2023 has been the most stressful year of my life so far. Juggling with college, health, and work at the same time. I've been struggling to keep myself afloat for the longest time. But thankfully this year is ending on a positive note. I finished my thesis, I passed my classes with good grades, got to travel to Brazil and Colombia, I quit a job I didn't like, and I am reconnecting with old friends. So despite all the massive stress I've gone through, I am happy! ❤️

But as a result of a stressful year, I haven't been productive art-wise. Literally until April or May I was sharing artworks from 2022; I could have done so much more. Yet, at least I had some artworks for each month. I will say— though— that this has been the most colorful year. I rarely paint my works, but it's good to see myself overcome the perfectionism and fear of coloring. Even if they don't look as good as I wanted them to be. There's still so much for me to improve on, and I want to make 2024 be a year where I can be more productive, better, and push my art to where I want it to be. And also be the year where I can FINALLY resume on my graphic novel. Boy, do I owe many people an update.

But regardless, I wish you all an early Happy New Year and that may 2024 be a year filled with inspiration, motivation, happiness, and blessings. 💖💖

#art summary #art summery 2023

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hayakaws · 6 months

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hii!! I love your manga colorings and I was wondering if you have any suggestions for a beginner, if it's ok with you ofc!! <3

hiii! thank you so much, i'm glad you love them <33 and of course! you can take a look at this answer of mine from a few months ago for tutorials, blog recs and more detailed suggestions! what i'd like to add to this post, is that i've noticed in the last few months that less is more! (at least for me) i used to spend days trying to make each panel as detailed as possible. but this year i've been focusing on a more minimalistic style, which i've noticed i love more! of course everyone's style is different so i can't speak for everyone, but i'd say that focusing on doing the right things - not the most - improved my colorings a lot! for instance, i used to be very insecure about my shading skills, so i used to go over the top with shading in places that didn't even make sense. now i sit back, analyze the panel i'm going to color, determine the places that need shading & highlighting, and that's it. basically all i do now is base coloring + shading and adding some cute tweaks like blush. i also started observing a lot of art on twitter, how artists do shading etc. and it helped me lots too.

to understand what i mean better, here is a panel that i colored in 2022 and the same panel in 2023:

and another one in 2021 and in 2023:

if you have any other questions i'd love to answer! hope this helps ❤️

#answered #manga coloring #manga

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magentagalaxies · 6 months

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Kids in the Archive: Episode 3

hi everyone you know the deal - i uncovered a bunch of original scripts for kith sketches with the help of the wonderful bruce mcculloch and now i'm here to bring you all a behind-the-scenes comparison of script and screen!

Previous Episodes: Episode 1 - armada finale ("do we make it?") Episode 2 - fran & gordon: the vacation

today's episode is dedicated to @ofkithandmckinney as we cover the script of their favorite sketch, s2e1's "comfortable"

the thing that immediately sets "comfortable" apart from all the other scripts i own is the multicolored paper is it printed on, with some parts being on pink and others on blue. this is not accidental - each color denotes a specific revision date which is standard practice for tv production, though comfortable is the only script in my collection in this style. the date for pink revisions is may 22nd 1990, while blue revisions were june third of the same year. while taking photos of the scripts, my phone tries to color-balance the images automatically to make it look like black text on a white background, so i had to trick my phone into letting me show off the pink pages here today

The Casting

since the opening of this script is near-identical to what we seen onscreen, I decided to use this section to highlight an interesting (and at times confusing) element of this script, which is that dave and mark's roles are occasionally switched. at times dave is designated as scott's character's wife and mark as the other husband. on a related note, this also wasn't initially written as a nina sketch, with the character being referred to as "marion" in this draft. all in all, while thinking about this alternate version of "comfortable" is fun, i frankly cannot imagine anyone else playing these roles, as all of them bring the perfect type of energy. plus, this nina appearance relates it to my web of kith sketches that exist in the same universe

The "Improv"

this script also allows us to clear up a misconception i've seen in the youtube comments of various uploads of this sketch: people claiming "i want you in me" was improvised

i can see where this misconception came from - while adhering to the script very faithfully, at this point in the sketch things feel like they're starting to fly off the rails, and each of the actors are struggling not to break. plus, this is totally something scott would do. there's a chance this could have been improvised during a rehearsal or table read (it is on the blue pages after all) but in the version that was broadcast this line was expected. however, there is a possibly-improvised moment in the recording which wasn't in the script. after scott's character takes his pants off there's a moment where he starts singing hava nagila - in the script it just says "da da da da". why scott chose to commemorate this moment with hava nagila we may never know

The Ending

unlike our past few sketches, there's no big difference between the script's ending and the final moments of the sketch on tv. all the beats are accounted for, with most variations stemming from the goldmine that is getting nina in this situation

as soon as i saw this script in storage i knew i needed it in my collection (with bruce's permission of course), and with all these fascinating production elements it certainly delivered. beyond that, comfortable is one of my favorite sketches as well, because i vividly remember the first time i watched it in the summer of 2022

pre-2022 i'd seen some kids in the hall before, but they'd always been scattered sketches and individual episodes all from season one. when i got into season 2 i didn't know what to expect. would this increased attention and production value make the kids less willing to push the boundaries? would they end up like snl? looking back it's hilarious i could ever think that about this troupe, but i identify "comfortable" as the sketch that really set the tone for what i was in for with season 2. the living room setup and premise of an awkward gathering feel similar to any number of middle-of-the-road snl sketches, which lulled me into a false sense of mundanity, until scott keeps pushing the limits and eventually starts straight-up fucking kevin mcdonald on the table. of course this season wasn't going to be your standard fare sketch show, as pretty soon after followed sizzler and sizzler and the iconic "touch bellini" contest, but as i saw the world of these suburban couples' descend into chaos it was comforting that this punk rock sensibility wasn't over yet.

#kids in the archive #time for a jessay #kids in the hall #scott thompson #kevin mcdonald #dave foley #mark mckinney #sketch comedy #comedy analysis #script to screen #90s vintage #i didn't expect to do another one of these so soon but i'm bored and i wanted to highlight this script for ofkithandmckinney #if you have any suggestions for sketches you'd like me to cover lmk! i don't have all of them in my collection of course #but my kids in the archive tag has the full list of what i have so far #i'm not sure exactly how i'll switch up the formatting for unaired sketches but i'm excited to find out

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