#not the buck 1.0 behavior

[bigassbowlingballhead]

Bucks sister ran away, Chimney followed with the baby

Eddie leaves the 118

Buck loses everything he holds dear and gloms on to Taylor after kissing another women???

Evan!!

#Evan!!! #what happened to the therapy!! #this is not buck 3.0 behavior!! #this is buck 1.0 behavior!!! #watching 911

[wolfmadefromash]

Thought on 7x05

I've seen a mixed response for the episode last night, things from the shared photos not playing out how many hoped or wanted. There was the photo of Eddie and Marisol sitting at the table at the end of the row from Tommy and Buck, making it really look like he was there for more of their date than he was. The photos we got of Buck and Eddie the gym and in Buck's apartment, the expectation was different there too.

I didn't think for one second that there was a chance for there to be a Buddie kiss in the episode, I can understand were people were coming from with that though. The theory of Eddie being jealous when he finds about about the date and that has him realizing he has feelings for Buck makes sense. But I prefer the way it played out, even if I do still very much ship Buddie.

The date was just... oh man so bad, Buck was a disaster but it also makes sense. This is new for him, he doesn't exactly understand his role or how he should act. It hasn't caught up to him really that it doesn't have to be any different than dating a women, just relax and talk and enjoy the company. His biggest mistake was acting the way he did when Eddie showed up, I get that he's not out to anyone yet but Eddie was there with his girlfriend and just happy to see his too friends hanging out. Buck talking about getting chicks and calling Eddie bro was a bigger red flag than if he were to have been waving the literal bi flag in Eddie face. I mean... come on dude, you've literally never once uttered the word chicks and you haven't been one for bar hopping and picking up randoms since before you even met Eddie. That's Buck 1.0 behavior and Eddie doesn't know that Buck. He's stressed and he panicked, so I get it but... sir... no. Tommy bailing on the rest of the night, while is sucks that that's how Buck "first date with a dude" (pro tip Ev, maybe don't call your date dude) ended, I understand Tommy's side. He was kind about, looked like he felt bad. I do with that he explained that is was more him not wanting Buck to feel pressured to make steps before he was ready, rather then telling him at the end of the episode when they meet for coffee.

I was almost heartbroken for Hen and Karen, finding out that the little girl they were supposed to foster was going to stay with her grandmother. I was so excited to see them welcoming in a baby girl after the struggles they day with fertility and having to let go of Nia (truly a crime because that little girl was so cute and I miss her). I love that they're giving Mara this chance to find peace with a new family after what that poor girl went through. I know some aren't happy with Karen's reaction over Denny getting hurt, especially when Denny was standing up for Mara himself telling them she didn't mean it. But Karen's first priority as a mother is her own child, and while the intent is for Mara to fit that role eventually, she's still new and now she's harmed her son. In that moment, it didn't matter that Mara clearly went through something traumatic in her life and that she needed time and care. He son was hurt and Karen was going to do what she needed to keep him safe. I am glad that they made the extra effort to learn more about Mara's situation, kind of feels like the sort of thing they should have been told before but they weren't. Mara's story will be complex and heartbreaking I'm sure, but I do hope that she is here to stay because that little girl deserves to feel safe and protected and loved.

I loved Buck's coming out to Maddie, literally accidentally just because he kind of got carried away with the story, saying "he left me stand outside the restaurant" after having been very careful to be as vague as possible when talking about the date. The little slip of the pronoun of course didn't go unnoticed by Maddie and she zeros right in on it. Buck not understanding why he acted the way he did, still under the assumption that his shouldn't have mattered who he was with, because he's an ally. Except, you can be an ally then find that you're more than that and it can still be confusing because its new. Buck lying to Eddie about what he and Tommy were actually doing doesn't make him less of an ally or make him any less bisexual. It was unexpected to see Eddie, he wasn't out to anyone yet, he was even resistant to come out to Maddie but he need to talk to someone about how he acted. So Maddie's right, him being on a date with a guy probably has everything to do with him lying to Eddie and really hurting Tommy in the process. Maddie's reaction to Buck saying "sure I'll check out a hot guys ass, but that's normal"... she's amazing for just sort of letting it go and mildly agreeing. "It's not abnormal" but not exactly normal either. Most straight men are out here checking out a hot guys ass. They might look and compare or something but it's not really that they're checking it out and they're certainly not acknowledging that the guy is hot. I love Buck's coming out journey so far, he's a gem.

Eddie's Catholic Guilt... is amazing. His reaction to Marisol almost being a nun feels like a bit much to me, almost like he's repressing something... Also, dude why are you asking her to move in with you??? Thank god she didn't have plans to sell her house so she can go back there, honestly the fact that she wasn't selling the house was a sign that the move or relationship wasn't going to last. With the news that Marisol was almost a nun, thought I'd seen it floating around for a few week not knowing where that came from, it's given me a theory for the break-up; not even a unique theory because I think we're all thinking the same thing. Marisol obviously still has a connection to her faith, she's kept things from her time doing... whatever it is nuns do to be come nuns. She'd likely a devout Catholic and we know how most (if not all) feel about the LGBTQIA+ community. I'm thinking that Tommy and Buck are talked about in some capacity and she learns that they're dating, or she sees them at the Madney wedding. She shares her thoughts with Eddie, maybe not as ugly as they could be because lets let us have some peace from that in one area of our life, and he'd appalled. Because Tommy's he's friend and he's great and Buck's his best friend and has been helping him raise Christopher for years now. Who they're dating doesn't change how great they are, Eddie's not going to just turn his back on his friends. So they break up because Marisol sucks. The only reason I don't fully believe it'll happen this way is because of the actresses current reputation and her apparent views towards the LGBTQIA+ community. But... art imitates life and all that...

Also, love the idea of Demi Eddie and it feels like it really fits.

Eddie being more hung up or surprised by the fact that Tommy's gay, rather then his best friend who's he's know for like 6 years now was just on a date with a man is amazing to me. For one, it feed into this head canon that everyone kind of already knew. And two, it just reaffirms that to Eddie it doesn't matter. Buck is Buck, Eddie will be there for him no matter what. I did was some level of something more there, some sort of tension or hurt between the two. A touch of the divorce era without it being full blown no contact for 2 episodes. I wanted Eddie coming into the loft after having found out Buck and Tommy were on a date from someone that wasn't Buck. Maybe Marisol saying something about thinking they were crashing their date. I wanted Eddie asking Buck why he thought he couldn't trust him with this, why he felt like he couldn't open up to him, why he doubted that he would support him. Throw in a call back to season 5 when Buck broke down Eddie's bedroom door to get to him when he was crying on the floor, arguably Eddie's most vulnerable moment. The kind of moment you share with someone and know you can be 100% you with them. But the whole coming out scene was very lovely and I am happy that Buck experience so far with the people he's told has been incredibly positive. I know this isn't how it is for far too many.

I loved the little coffee date(?) with Buck and Tommy. I love that is was Eddie who encouraged Buck to call Tommy and the Buck is really willing to take this leap into the unknown. Everything about this scene is so soft and sweet, Buck is very clearly infatuated with Tommy at the very least, and Tommy is so gentle and kind. I don't know that there would be a better first boyfriend for Buck than Tommy. Again, I still very much ship Buddie, but there is something about Buck and Tommy that I love.

As much as I want Eddie and Buck together, I am a bit of a realist or more negative thinker lol I mean I was very much under the impression that Buck would never be canonically Bi even if he always gave vibes that I couldn't begin to explain. It something that I thought "it'd be nice, but it'll never happy. At least there's fan fiction." But here were are, 5 episode into setons 7 on a new network and Buck is kissing boys and dating dudes. It's a big moment, taking a character like Buck who's part of the main cast and allowing him to be queer in any way, it can also be a big risk to take. But ABC and Tim Minear did it, Oliver himself has said that he saw this being a direction for Buck for some time and he was more than open to explore it. Tim Minear has never out right said no to Buddie, at least in recent conversations. Ryan and Oliver haven't said no ever, they've always been noncommittal about the direction of Eddie and Buck's relationship. But more recently... it seems like they're keeping the door open a crack to allow for speculation to run wild. Dropping hints and clues. It seems to me that it's unlikely that they'll give Eddie a queer story arc, seems like too big of a leap for any network like ABC to take at least while they're already exploring one character. I want to say I truly believe that we'll get Buddie eventually, but I really can't put too much hope or faith in that. I will be thrilled if they do, genuinely.

I rambled... it happens. Not often but these last few episodes were a lot to reflect on. I'm loving Buck's story, loving that he's in his 30's and going through this now at a time where people think you should have you're life figured out. I love this because it just makes me feel some much better about my own journey. I'm in my 30's, only in the last year or 2 have I even had any thoughts about my own sexuality really. I'm not a very confident person, I have body image issues, not the most out going and I don't love talking to new people. I haven't given myself the opportunity to really explore. But I have thought recently about how I would feel about a relationship with someone of the same gender and came to the conclusion that I'm not put off by the idea, I'm very much open to it. I haven't figured out a label that feels right yet but I'm fine with no label at all. I just hate the idea of being closed off to something that could be potentially amazing, who a person is should matter more than what they are. Labels can be so restrictive but I understand that is makes some feel secure and feel like they're a part of something bigger.

#buck buckley #evan buckley #evan buck buckely #eddie diaz #911 fandom #buddie #911 #buddie fandom #buddie 911 #oliver stark #tim minear #911 abc #911 on abc #911 season 7 #911 season 7 thoughts #ryan guzman #maddie buckley #jennifer love hewitt #hen wilson #aisha hinds #karen wilson #tracie thoms #tommy kinard #lou ferrigno jr #bucks first date with a dude #bucks an ally #evan buckley bi disaster #evan buck buckley #bi evan buckley #bucktommy

[bakasara]

i'm not saying that I can't see why people feel that buck is kind of the deancoded half of the buddie whole (or saying that everything has to relate back to dean supernatural, for that matter) -- buck 1.0 especially is the womanizer with a smile for everyone and abandonment issues behind the curtain, definitely reminescent of early-seasons dean in both looks and attitude!

but it's fascinating to me that i've never seen anyone point out how many traits and patterns EDDIE shares with thee dean winchester, especially post-s3 and then post-kripke dean, so much so that he often strikes me as more "deancoded" than buck if you look at the general morphology of the character.

eddie "repression is my passion" diaz is right there having responsibilities put on his shoulders too young, riddled with guilt, putting his (misguided notions of his) son's happiness before his own to the point of gratuitous suffering/forms of martyrdom, trying to adhere to this ideal of the heteronormative nuclear family to the point of toxicity (literally chasing after a Lisa Braeden-style normalcy, but instead playing 4D chess with the concept of marrying a Good Christian Girl), shoving down everything he feels to the point of not seeing the full scope of his own emotions until they blow up into self-destructive behaviors (see his little fight club digression for one) and explosive episodes. not only hating his dad for asking him to be "the man of the family" as a kid and for all time moving forward, but doing so with an intimate kind of hurt; not wanting to turn into him but arguably not free from his logic either.

carrying a rage he doesn't fully understand.

they even share a prolonged, defining way of being stuck in a past that doesn't exist: dean in the romanticized version of his family of origin, eddie in the romanticized version of the family he made with shannon.

(and on the other hand, eddie's known to get unexpectedly goofy and youthful when all the trauma isn't in the way, which also applies to later-seasons dean!)

like!!!

#buddie #eddie diaz #911 #dean winchester #might also explain why i'm especially attached to the idea of seeing him grow #past being his burdens and past the mechanism of repressing every self-serving feeling he has #and FRANKLYYY. being let out of that glass-door closet got damn

[aromanticbuck]

hey, @lucydonato

have you considered you’re the only one with rights?

[ID: screenshot of tumblr tags by user lucydonato, grey text on a dark grey background. “#he’s an adult for the love of god he’s an adult #why is everyone acting like he’s either a helpless naive teenager OR a decrepit old man who squandered his youth not knowing he was bisexual #OR he’s a crazed sex fiend who’s going to backslide into buck 1.0 behaviors #be normal about people in their 30s and be normal about bisexuals challenge #911” /ID]

#alex says things #lucydonato #911 #Britt tag

[t1gerlilly]

I’ve seen a lot of takes on my dash about where Buck should go from here and some division among fandom. It’s really interesting, because it made me realize something about how much fandom perspectives are likely shaped by sexual (identity, experience…?)

Like, I think Buck has a fair many fans that are aromantic who really identify with Buck 1.0. Like, up til now, it’s been clear that he loves sex and just has been miserable in relationships. So that would line up with them. And they’ve been posting a lot of “this is great, we can’t wait to see him exploring his sexuality” and then being shocked at the response that gets. And rationally, I can see where they’re coming from - that for them this is a benediction and entirely well meant.

But viscerally? I totally get why they aren’t getting a positive reaction. That’s because a lot of people (me included) see Eddie as demisexual or gray a(sexual). So there’s a fair number of people with that perspective in fandom. And as someone who’s demi, my instinctive reaction to “explore your sexuality” is approximately the same as someone suggesting it would be fun to lick the floor of the New York subway. Like, full body shudder ewwwwww!

(And before you scoff at that metaphor, I once had a scene not dissimilar to that in a London sex club described to me. Apparently licking dirty floors really does it for some folks. It’s a thing. Look it up.)

Because if you’re demi, rubbing your bits with randos is about as sexually appealing as licking a dirty floor is for most people. Like…abandoning a close emotional relationship that’s formed over time and is real and strong for someone new, even if you like them…doesn’t make sense. You can try to force it (Marisol), because you’re constantly getting signals that you’re not normal to not be attracted or dating all the time. So we’re used to getting told, personally, that we should want things we don’t want and wouldn’t enjoy and that we’re not normal if we don’t see sexual pleasure independent of connection as the ideal. Especially in queer spaces where there’s a lot of gatekeeping around labels and experience and requirements to “prove” your identity. Like if you express a new found attraction, that’s immediately met with “so are you going to (insert sex act)? Followed with “why haven’t you (same or different sexact)?” And of course”It’s like you’re not even…” And a person develops some feelings when they’ve gotten a lot of this kind of pressure, in spaces that are supposed to be accepting. So I think you’re seeing a bit of that, along with some bad behavior, because people are having FEELINGS. So, apologies from the demi community, but also a bit of an explanation. And a hope that you’ll cut us some slack if you get where it’s coming from.

So… this week has been about Buck, and his journey, and I hope we can all appreciate the moment of joy and rightness Buck felt when a part of himself he hadn’t recognized clicked into place. I hope we can respect who he is, whatever choice he makes.

#demisexual #bi!buck #911 abc #buddie

[fortheloveofbuddie]

Bratty probie Buck/ new lieutenant Eddie 👀👀 tell me more💜

Hiya purple! 💜

This is inspired by a post by @disasterbuckdiaz (who’s also working on a fic about it called Scandalous Desire, go check it out!)

So basically it’s about Buck being a little shit, we’re talking Buck 1.0 behavior and Eddie has newly been made lieutenant of the 118, so ofc he gets put in charge of Buck’s probie period. But he keeps mouthing off and being reckless and openly talking about how well he gets fucked and Eddie doesn’t know what to do with him. So ya know, he decides to fuck the bratty behavior out of Buck himself 🤷‍♀️🍆

Ask me about my wips 💌

#buddie wip #wip ask game #caro gets mail

[outrunningthedark]

I think Eddie’s arcs are better because Eddie is actually allowed to grow while Buck keeps taking one step forward two steps back (as Oliver said both before season 5 and 6)

This is the gist of it, yep. Eddie and Shannon reconnecting -> Eddie isn't the parent Shannon knew when she left him, he's willing to leave the past behind and start fresh, be better The fighting arc -> Eddie is angry with himself for not knowing how to help Christopher cope in the aftermath of Shannon's death, and we learn that he is also struggling with his own grief because Lena and Bobby called him out about his behavior skateboarding episode -> Eddie makes his own assumptions about Christopher's capabilities (hello, ableism), but (with some help) realizes that not everything is/should be out of the question - he, as a parent, has to be willing to adapt to the circumstances and put in the work EddieAna -> Starts dating her because he's trying to convince himself he's ready to move on after his failed marriage, stays in the relationship because Christopher likes having Ana around, but when things started getting "serious" (Ana being referred to as the mom, being invited to the Flores family Christening) Eddie was able to initiate the break up before he ended up in a second marriage he didn't want. (Following his heart. Not Christopher's.) Eddie leaving the 118 & breakdown arc -> Christopher's concern over his safety is one of the reasons Eddie decides to start a new career, but they have a conversation ON SCREEN where Christopher clarifies that he never meant Eddie should quit doing what he loves. Eddie goes to Bobby about being reinstated, Bobby says he's clearly not ready yet, Eddie goes to therapy BEFORE THE BREAKDOWN because he WANTS to get back to the family, but he's not fully committed. Until his breakdown. Dispatch fire -> "God has spoken." Eddie knows he should be saving lives while in his LAFD gear, not from behind a desk Eddie going home to Texas -> Comes to an understanding with his father, agrees to work on repairing/rebuilding the relationship, also confirms that he's still doing things for himself first by wanting to get better for himself just as much as for Christopher [stopping there because I think I've made my point!] Whereas with Buck... What gets me 🙄 is that there was obvious, understandable growth between seasons one and three DESPITE his past that made him the character we met at the beginning. Dating Abby got him out of the 1.0 phase, hooking up with TayKay in s2 made him realize he didn't want to go back to being That Guy (and Ali was the proof, so her brief resurgence did what it was meant to do). Season 3 was about Buck being alone (Honestly...this is one that doesn't get discussed enough. "Buck needs to learn to be by himself and be comfortable with that." The man had ZERO romantic prospects in all of s3 WYM???) And then, ofc, seeing Abby again made it so that Abby would never be a "what if" situation. He had to let go of that part of his past, and he did. By going to a party and spending it with he Diaz boys. Hm. And then the next season three episodes in having a co-parenting moment. Hmmm. After that? The show was like "We're just gonna take all this growth and throw it out the window for a storyline that is talked about ONCE in two years (Buck's childhood trauma) and also because in our heads it makes for better ~drama~ if Buck's being stupid without Madney around." ...Despite the fact that talking to Maddie didn't lead to the breakup and Buck doesn't go to Chim for like, anything, and Chim isn't the one who calls Buck out on his bullshit anyway! (And we all know how the BL kiss could have been a decent plot point if it played any kind of role in the BT break up. But it was simply A Thing That Happened because sometimes this show turns into a soap!) Just because someone's enjoying the current path Buck is on doesn't automatically make it good storytelling. Please stop equating a series like 9-1-1 with a fanfic that you post for yourself and don't want constructive criticism on, thanks!

#anonymous #tina speaks #tv: 911 #tv: 9-1-1 #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie act like an old married couple

Buck and Eddie are husbands in their early to mid-thirties (Buck is 30 or 31 years old and Eddie is 34 or 35 years old) but even though they’re nowhere near the age of retirement, they act and talk to each other the same way old married couples do. They’ve been trusted partners for more than four years and they have developed different ways to communicate with one another including their perfected body and silent languages (related post: “The night Eddie met Buck 1.0” and related GIF set: “Silent conversations”). They can always anticipate exactly what the other one needs before either of them has to say anything. They flirt, tease, touch, argue and bicker with each other all day long which is similar to the ways some older couples communicate with one another (related post: “CANON arguments-1st argument was reenacted in the background during their 2nd argument at the grocery store” and related GIF set “Simultaneous POVs-The Grocery Store Argument #4”).  Eddie can get Buck’s attention by simply saying his name one time, he makes exasperated sighs when Buck won’t give up whenever he’s trying to get Eddie to answer his questions, he rolls his eyes when Buck acts overzealous and he makes quick-witted comments that perfectly align with Buck’s clipboard antics, comments, questions, ramblings and occasional reckless behaviors. 

Sixteen examples are included of Buck being Buck and Eddie being Eddie while they continue to love each other endlessly.

GIF #1 2x1 “Under Pressure”

GIF #2 3x1 “Kids Today”

GIF #3 3x5 “Rage”

GIF #4 3x6 “Monsters”

GIF #5 3x9 “Fallout”

GIF #6 3x9 “Fallout”

GIF #7 3x18 “What’s Next?”

GIF #8 4x6 “Jinx”

GIF #9 5x1 “Panic”

GIF #10 5x2 “Desperate Times”

GIF #11 5x5 “Peer Pressure”

GIF #12 5x6 “Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1”

GIF #13 5x11 “Outside Looking In”

GIF #14 5x16 “May Day”

GIF #15 6x1 “Let the Games Begin”

GIF #16 6x4 “Animal Instincts”

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 fox #911 on fox #911onfox #911 #911 meta #911 s6 #911 season 6 #911 speculation #eddie diaz is BAE

[mymistakewriting]

i personally agree and relate so much with buck’s adhd + anxiety specifically so i was just wondering if you could go more in depth with those headcanons? adhd buck is so important to me and reading about it and talking gives ME dopamine lol. oooh and the volume control like getting called out on it would so trigger his RSD! and everyone LOVES going to trivia with him for sure hahah sorry this kind of turned into my headcanons but yeah what do you think??!

I'll answer that second ask you sent in separately because Oh Boy do I have some Opinions to share on all of it.

I absolutely adore getting to just sit down and scream about characters and their habits and their mental health and how it all ties together. And Buck has given me PLENTY to work with since I started the show. But specifically focusing in on his ADHD & anxiety & RSD?

Not only does he hyperfixate on random stuff that has no use he CANONICALLY does research on natural disasters after he's lived through them - he did so with the tsunami, he did so with the earthquakes. He even canonically references researching volcanos after the wildfire crossover with Lone Star where he made the trip to Austin to help. This man is a walking encyclopedia of information on natural disasters and traumas. But it's very much a coping mechanism. It's a "I survived this and I have no clue how or why, so I have to understand what the odds were and I need to be able to be prepared and help others better if I ever live through another one of these". It's a "if I understand this and why it happens and how best to survive it, then it holds no power over me". It's a "I can't be scared of this so I have to understand it instead." It's the kind of coping mechanism that I've only ever seen in people who have ADHD or autism - statistics over fear, because fear can only cause harm ESPECIALLY as a first responder. Fear can come later, accept he tries not to ever let it because that makes him weak in his eyes.

The anxiety definitely stims from childhood trauma - look at his parents and Maddie and tell me that their behaviors weren't the root cause of so many of Buck's bad habits and I'll call you a liar. His parents are the reason he's so reckless. His parents AND Maddie are the reason Buck 1.0 was clinging so tightly to the label of sex addict because it was hard for him to admit that he didn't feel good enough after being left behind by everyone he'd ever had in his entire life. And don't take this as me talking poorly on Maddie, but she's also the reason why Buck latched on so tightly to Abby. And Ali. And Taylor. And the 118 crew. She left when he was a teenager, left him with parents that they both knew were awful, and he kind of internalized it and now a few years down the line it's crippling anxiety and abandonment issues and he doesn't have an outlet for any of that. And I could go on for hours about how his childhood contributed to him being semi-verbal at best, and about how much of how he defines himself ties into how he was defined as a kid, but that'll have to be a whole other post because there are so many intricacies to it that it deserves it's own thing.

His RSD. Oh I love the portrayal they give for his RSD. Because it's not just canceled plans and being overlooked that send him spiraling like so many people assume when they hear the phrase. It's someone's tone changing or someone pulling away too soon when he gets comfortable showing affection. It's how he held on so tight until he just couldn't anymore when Abby left because she said she'd come back and she's never lied to me before so she'll come back, everyone else is being dramatic. I just have to wait.

It's how well he just gave all of himself to Ali. She helped him find a place to live. Helped him furnish it in a way that is shockingly out of character for Buck - none of those decorations when he was with her felt like him in the slightest.

It was how he tried to twist and change himself and his relationships to make things with with Taylor. He didn't bring Eddie up to her often, didn't bring her up to Eddie unless he could avoid it, didn't talk about work, let her use his place and his information and his everything to do her job even though it got him questioned there at the end by the Department about who her sources were. And it's there in how hesitant he was to end things. How much he looked like he was fighting himself when he did end things.

His volume control is such a small thing that never gets called out in the fandom posts I do see - the 118 is wonderful at it once they know him, they know ways to point it out without sending him into a tailspin. It's always a gentle cup to the shoulder or elbow or a gentle nudge of shoulder to shoulder or a soft redirection that requires a softer voice somewhere else. It's never a "you're being too loud" or an annoyed glance from them.

From people they save, though? Buck stutters a lot more around people they work to save, he's always trying to be conscious of everything because he's gotten those looks or gotten those annoyed comments time and time and time again until it's become one of his biggest insecurities.

He gives every bit of himself to everything he does, and it definitely makes his RSD worse when that just isn't enough.

#kieran talks #asks #anon #evan buckley #buck #911 headcanons #I had a lot to say about this sorry #I think I still have more to say but this was getting a little long

[buddiewho]

In a logical sense, I see what we’ve witnessed with Buck and Tommy as the one off experience. It could last a little longer than anticipated but it’s that first time kind of thing, most of us queer people go through, I think.

We have those people in our lives who either were part of the first time relationship or stayed the crush/friend and yet they were a part of understanding the feelings. Perhaps it wasn’t long term at all. Perhaps it was the one kiss and one date. Perhaps it was a few more dates and you mutually parted ways. For some, it could be that lucky one where they too were developing feelings and so it blossomed into a long term relationship.

And I think the episode made it super obvious that Tommy has things in common with Eddie. If someone were just to speak those words out loud in a later episode when people know or suspect and Chim goes, “you know Buck you essentially went on a date with a version of Eddie…” just saying it seemed like they were going for something there with the being in the Army and enjoying Muay Thai. Except there are things Buck doesn’t know or doesn’t enjoy like basketball so Tommy having more in common with Eddie too soon, makes Buck spiral as he did. And as he called it, “bad behavior” reared its head and as Chim said, “well, you Bucked that up didn’t you.”

What I’m saying is, Buck can have fun for now. Buck can enjoy this or try to because it’s just his luck that apparently Eddie and Marisol end up at the same restaurant…anyway, I think it’d be nice if the writers mentioned more of Tommy’s behaviors and we see an active apology and/or active forgiveness over his past mistakes. However, they have not…

But if a fictional character cannot be given the chance to grow, change and understand when they Bucked up then what’s that say about real life? Some people are obstinate to change, but I think a majority of people want to understand how to change for the better, to correct the wrong that they made, and to be an overall better person. Personally, I like to fill in the gaps and believe Chim and Hen have since been apologized to and Tommy knows he was dumb back then. Bigoted and dumb. He’s shown accountability for it but it wasn’t put on screen. If they wanted to insinuate he hadn’t changed and was still some bigoted bad apple why bring him back at all for any reason?

If it’s not being brought up and made into something that’s still an integral part of the character then I also don’t see the harm in Buck being giddy about this version of Tommy he gets to see and has admitted to wanting to get know. That’s a cool guy. I like that guy.

Buck is the guy who had Buck 1.0 and 2.0 phases; please, he’s the epitome of wishing he could grow and change and be a better person so I think off screen I can assume that Tommy has done the same since his departure from the 118.

#buddie #buddie 911 #evan buckley is bisexual #tommy kinard

[catboyeddiediaz]

no bc I agree w everything you are saying about Buck!!!

I always got the vibe from s1 that he wanted more than the hookups

YEAH EXACTLY like maybe this is just my headcanon but. idk. buck's behavior never struck me as malicious & i think it's quite normal for people to seek out sex for pleasure and fun & whatever other reasons that are not directly connected to relationships.

and with buck's whole 'buck 1.0' era i never interpreted it as a misogynistic "women are only useful for sex" thing. to ME, i always felt more like it was the opposite, that buck learned early on that he's 'too much' for people but at least they found him attractive and were willing to fuck him, & that hookups were a way he could at least guarantee he wouldn't be alone for a second. that he could at least allow himself to be wanted this way, even if it was temporary and ultimately made him feel worse (hence why he stopped) because it was never a true replacement for the love and intimacy and connection he wanted so badly from everyone else, but he pretended it was enough until it just resulted in him getting hurt worse and worse (i may or may not have some Strong Opinions on the creepy therapist debacle in s1)

and because buck is notoriously excellent at masking his true emotions and motivations, when people make jokes about buck being a player or a womanizer, i feel like he runs with the punches & lets himself be the butt of the joke bc it hurts less than admitting "actually i just wanted someone to love me and sex made me feel loved for 5 minutes of my life" thanks for comign to my ted talk

#askbox #as the resident buck psychoanalyzer i have a lot of thoughts and opinions. bc he lives in my head and is busting it down sensitive style #something something the dog that never has a home knows how to beg for food to keep itself alive #edit: and this is why eddie saying 'you didnt end up like you' fucks me up because he knows buck well enough to know where his mind is going #and he deliberately reached out and said no i see you. i know you. so im fine btw

[blue-cheeseinmyoffwhites]

so what do you think, wewill see Buddie in this seson? we still have 5 ep , t

Heads up, there are actually 18 episodes this season, so we have 7 more :)

I’m honestly not sure, no one is tbh. But as a Buddie warrior I never lose hope of course. It’s important to remember that both men are currently single, & are going though a self discovery journey. I’ve been hoping for these storylines to eventually mix together and hopefully lead to them realizing.

It has been established in the first episode that Buck Eddie & Chris are a family unit. Like, that’s canon. And the first episodes usually have important setups for the rest of the season. At the very least, the Buckley Diazes will be returning in full by some time this season again. I told myself that 6B would pick things up, and it definitely did. Initially I was a little worried with how little Eddie we got in this recent episode (like he wasn’t even in the dream come on) but after reading a few blogs on here I 100% believe that it was intentional. His behavior was odd compared to everyone else. He was the only one who didn’t visit Buck on his own time & the only one who didn’t physically embrace him when he woke up, he just shoved Chris at him. Bringing us back to Eddie 1.0 who likes to hide behind his son. Eddie obviously has some underlying feelings about the incident that I’m sure we’re gonna get an explanation for later on.

From a writing standpoint, at the very least Eddie cannot date any more women. For there to be this big arc last season about him forcing himself in a relationship with the apparent perfect woman and breaking things off because he “didn’t love her”, it would be COMPLETELY unsatisfying if he settled with another woman. For Eddie to start dating now suddenly after Buck’s scare is kinda loud of you ask me. And it’s been said that Buck is ALSO gonna be going on a date later this season. Hopefully these secret dates will be with each other.

#911 fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #buddie 911 #buck x eddie #ask blue

[queerbuckleys]

Whats your favorite version of buck?

Buck 1.0, Buck 2.0, Buck 3.0 or 4.0

Whichever version came up with “yeah, just not together” like that is fucking amazing iconic behavior if I have ever seen it.

And I think that the software updates are done away with but that’s another story.

Honesty hour (come chat)

#ask aj and they answer #bitchhans #alex 🦕

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

As promised, I'm pestering you with my brain mush. Humour me, please. Maybe I'll have to split into 2 asks, sorry.

That whole exchange between Ramon and Eddie hit very hard, and I don't think I'm really ready to compare notes with my own experience, even if it'd help. I'm just saying that for all we have witnessed until 5x17, it's not Ramon who has pressured and hurt Eddie so much, but Helena. Except that Eddie, with Buck, pointedly blames only his father for being the fucked up one, not Helena or the combination. Just Ramon. It's not that he has this good of a relationship with his mother, either, or that Abuela and Pepa have, for what I've seen in 5x17....It's almost as if the three of them teamed together to mock her. It was weird, and awkward.

Helena and the cooking was another weird bit: if that need for control was put there, I don't think it was only for comedic relief. Everything means something, like Rowena would say...Ramon wanted caterers,but Helena only allowed them to reheat things. She needed to be in control.

Which I'd say, it's another freaking trait of Eddie 1.0 personality, the one that always needs to be in control for Christopher. Can we think for a moment that Ramon was probably around just some days a month? And that it was Helena's constant presence to influence Eddie? We know for a fact that both Pepa and Abuela have a splendid rapport with Eddie...and how could've Isabel managed to fuck Ramon up if she is such a good-hearted woman?! We don't know about her husband, but if he had been so much of a trouble, probably something would've slipped. Finally, we know that Isabel is back in El Paso. Why? For his son?

Let's go back to The Real Fucked Up Family Blueprint™, aka The Buckleys. As I have already written, it always stayed with me the feeling that everything, every fucked up decision was stemming from Margaret, not Philip. Margaret didn't go to hospitals, Margaret didn't want to keep Daniel's stuff, Margaret was the first to yell and the one to never try to reach back, Margaret was the one to cut Maddie out to teach her a lesson, and the worst words come out from Margaret's mouth. Philip sort of....goes with it? He kept Daniel's bike, for fuck's sake! How much was he convinced of this whole charade, and how much he was simply going along with his wife's demands? How much was his mind, and how much was he the "do what your mother told you" kind of father?

What if Eddie was throwing punches at himself? What if that rage was his own punishment? He was trying "not to be like Ramon", and he was always angry. I would think more logical that he was trying to be like Ramon, and that was the reason to set off his rage. But he was trying his whole life, I suppose after Shannon's pregnancy, when he stepped from the role of son into the role of father, not to be like Ramon. And this thing enraged and hurt him more, punishing himself, not Ramon.

What I am wondering now is: was really Ramon the real shadow looming over Eddie's unhappiness and repression, or was it his mother? How much is Ramon really a free agent, and how much he simply obeys Helena? How much of Helena's sternness and harshness towards Shannon reflected some kind of not-accepting behavior from her husband's family? Some fucked up wall she probably repeated onto Shannon, maybe unconsciously? How much her need to be in control of everything reflects the fact that she run a household alone, with three kids, no husband, and a mother-in-law who probably didn't like her? Just wondering. I have no answers, I admit.

Finally. That"I was punishing myself more" kinda shocked me. How could a young, angry Eddie, be punishing himself by being angry at his father? We are not talking about repression, about putting on the facade his father was asking him. That was hurting himself. We are talking about RAGE. It was the rage the punishment for Eddie. Which got me thinking about the Fight Club...the whole "maybe you were throwing punches at the wrong guy" talk. How Buck made it all about himself, but Buck is an unreliable narrator because he does blames himself for everything.

I think it's definitely more complicated than we witnessed, and that they left us out of some important missing piece.

Edit: OMG my drafts and asks are back! Finally! So sorry for the delay!!!

Hey @trickster-archangel! No worries at all, send me as many asks as you would like. =)

Ooh yeah, this was definitely an interesting development for Eddie to watch this episode. I'll be honest with you, I'm very Anti-Diaz parents myself and Anti-Buckleys, and I tend to view the interactions with Eddie and Maddie and Buck respectively through my own lens based on my own experiences. So for the relationship between Ramon and Eddie to shift in this seismic way, well, honestly it felt off to me a little. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy for Eddie but at the same time, it just felt like Ramon was let off of the hook a bit too easily. Especially since they put the obvious parallels between them in their story lines this season, in order to justify Eddie finally burying that hatchet because he can now identify with Ramon while also being true to who he is and putting himself first.

And if that felt out of sorts, the whole ignoring of Helena being an issue was baffling. I get that they wanted Eddie and Ramon to reconcile, but to me, you don't say things to your son like "Don't drag him down with you" and attempt to guilt and manipulate him into giving you your grandson and the next time you see each other, it's all sunshine and rainbows. I think you're very spot on with the observations you made regarding her and her need for control.

I remember when watching 3x15 and 2x18, thinking 'man, Ramon is like the enforcer but it's at Helena's prodding.' I mean, even in 2x18, you can see how Ramon seems to go on Helena's cue, when she brings up Christopher now that Shannon is gone. Ramon stops and apologizes (after he makes the comment about Shannon) when she gives him a look. The whole thing read as one big pile of manipulation to me, one that had been pre-planned. And I think the show absolutely meant to show us that because they kept those shots in to show us how Helena and Ramon exchanged looks throughout.

(I seriously love that actress that plays Helena btw, she does an incredible job)

And this scene is purely Helena:

I think it all comes down to what you suggested. And I'm going to take that and run with it if you don't mind: Eddie has more anger towards his father because Ramon was never around, because Ramon put too much on his shoulders, because the responsibility was put on him at such a young age. And no matter what he does, it's never good enough for Ramon. Which is an interesting contrast if you compare it to Shannon. As Ramon says so inappropriately at 2x18, she ran out on Christopher. So you would think that Eddie would have some major anger towards her as well. He does but we also see him attempting to have empathy and to understand her side of things, not only because he loved her but also because he had run too, in the beginning after Christopher was born, re-upping without telling her. As far as we know, Helena didn't leave in any way, shape, or form, and now that we know that story about what happened when she went into labor with Adriana, it's obvious that Eddie took the responsibility very seriously like Ramon intended him to, but it's also due to Helena. Did she tell him to go get the car? No. But why didn't she have an option in place? For someone to be called in Ramon's stead to help her not only get to the hospital but to make sure Eddie was looked after? (and Sophia if she was born then, idr the sequence of the sisters tbh) I'm not saying everyone has this plan in place before labor occurs but why did she say "of course, I thought he was going to call someone to drive us to the hospital"? It wasn't his responsibility. It was hers. She was the only parent (and adult) present. This wasn't her first rodeo when her water broke. Yes, Eddie might have reacted too fast for her to stop him but by that line of dialogue, it's clear she also put that responsibility on him, too.

That whole scene just makes me sick to my stomach to be honest. "Ramon's prized pickup" and she keeps looking to Ramon as she tells the story. Only the end "he was trying to drive me to the hospital" with her semi-proud expression redeems her in this exchange. But sure enough, when Eddie starts to react, "it's just a story". Helena is an absolute moving part to this whole situation. While the show may have moved her responsibility to the side in favor of Eddie coming to terms with Ramon, there is absolutely zero possibility that Eddie wasn't parentified (and I would even argue spousified) by her as well when Ramon wasn't around. And it doesn't negate her manipulation tactics in 2x18 and 3x15. She absolutely led the charge in both of those scenes, Ramon was like her pitbull, there to back her up and attack when needed. So I think it's interesting that the show chose to change up the dynamics here slightly.

But it does make me wonder if like Shannon, Eddie is willing to forgive Helena because they were in it together so to speak. And because Ramon was the one that left and stayed away. No matter the reason he was doing it, he wasn't around. And when he did come back, he was the enforcer again ("you grounded me actually"). Annnnd I do wonder if the show chose to focus on Ramon because of the fact that when we get Eddie's back story in 3x15, he is doing exactly as Ramon had done. He joined the military to provide for his family, he had accidentally gotten Shannon pregnant and needed to provide. So he did what he viewed as the right thing, he married her and joined the army. The same reasons Ramon was away on business so much. Helena had Eddie and then Adriana (and Sophia wherever she comes in) so he had to continue to provide. And since this season is about Eddie and him choosing what he wants for himself, to follow his own heart (btw I read this INCREDIBLE post by someone on this site stating this is why Christopher hasn't been too present this back half of the season, even this episode, if I find it again I have to reblog it, it's so good), I think that's why they chose to hone in on Ramon in last week's episode. That's why they gave Ramon and Eddie the parallels they did: the fake heart attack, the feeling useless when their professional lives have changed, etc. Because they were completely overhauling who Eddie was from the beginning of his story (even though we don't see this side of him until 3x15). I think they wanted to show the progress he's made and how far he has actually come from who Ramon is. Even though we saw he was nothing like Ramon by the time we meet him in the show and we learn about Christopher, Eddie had to realize it himself. Which brings us back to the point you made about Eddie being angry with himself.

I think you are right on the money when it comes to Eddie having so much anger and like you said throwing punches at himself. Because he was basically fighting a shadow, Ramon's shadow, and he sort of got away from it by moving out of Texas buttttt he didn't 100% because he was always seeing that shadow when he looked in the mirror. And I think you're right, there's still an important missing piece. Plus, last we saw, Ramon and Helena still weren't satisfied that Christopher was with Eddie (2x18) so suddenly they are cool with it? After doing everything they can to manipulate Eddie to get him to give Christopher to them and/or move back home? I get that they kept Christopher out of this episode because it was about Eddie and his arc, but it's weird they resolved things with Eddie and Ramon like this without having that brought back up again. Because that's definitely part of the shadow (Ramon's part anyway) and what Eddie has been working against this whole time, who he is as a father vs Ramon and if it's enough (or right) for Christopher. So things can't really be 100% resolved between Eddie and Ramon (and especially Eddie and Helena) until the Christopher issue is resolved. So, I do think they will need to circle back at some point for that for it to be more fully rounded if that makes sense.

And that whole "I was punishing myself more" line shocked me, too. Though, I kind of get what he's saying, but still how unfair to himself. Like you mentioned, how much of that shadow looming over him is Ramon vs Helena? Either way, it's their shadow, Eddie didn't ask for it. So, I was taken aback with that one, too.

Sorry, I hope this all kind of makes sense. Due to the Tumblr issue, I was kind of all over the place. Thank you for the ask and for your patience! I hope you have a great rest of your night!!! <3

#ask #ask answered #trickster-archangel #911 fox #eddie diaz ask #eddie diaz #anti diaz parents #due to content of reply #eddie-centric #metaanswers

[ao3feedbuddie]

beating the odds (without a tennis racket and with a firehose instead)

read it on the AO3 at by pastelwolfie " tennis ball will approve of no one but perfection for her buck. he needs - at the very least - someone who will love him for him, and not consider him less than. it’s a low bar, isn’t it? god. tennis ball needs to raise her standards. someone who worships the ground buck walks along, and worships him as he is, flaws and all? better? someone who worships buck for who he is, knows what he needs, but is also someone buck can love back? there we go. maybe, if tennis ball manifests it hard enough, someone perfect will appear. … why, hello, eddie diaz. ”   // the lives of found-families and lovers, as told through the perspective of an invested, eager, possessive and slightly creepy tennis ball. or; the pov character is a hardcore buddie truther, but is also kinda horny for everyone. also she’s a tennis ball. the definition of a crack fic, but it’s also weirdly possessive and also, somehow, a character study i’m proud of? there’s a surprising amount of heavy feelings in here. it’s an odd concoction of things. title is 100% a sex joke fyi. if it wasn’t abundantly clear. Words: 21572, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con Categories: M/M Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Bobby Nash, Howie "Chimney" Han, Maddie Buckley, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Athena Grant, Ravi Panikkar Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han, Athena Grant/Bobby Nash Additional Tags: Abby Clark Bashing, Supportive Athena Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley Loves Eddie Diaz, Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley Whump, Domestic Violence, Angst, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Canon Compliant, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, POV Outsider, Firehouse 118 Crew as Family (9-1-1 TV), Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Character Study, unhinged behavior, Unreliable Narrator, Near Death Experiences, Beta Read, wow i feel cool using that tag, ps to my beta im so sorry, mild to aggressive bashing of everyone who isn't buck, did like a josh and made timely greys anatomy references, Dr Wells is her own warning, hey 911 what the fuck was up with that??, Mild Sexual Content, ?? maybe pov character is horny af, and also discussion on buck 1.0 read it on the AO3 at

#911 #buddie #buddie on ao3 #buddie ao3 #buddie fanfic #911 fanfic #911 ao3 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 on ao3

[princessfbi]

can you talk about buck + anxiety?

I would love nothing more! Let's take a slightly deep dive into Buck's mental health.

Buck most likely has generalized anxiety disorder that he probably inherited from both his parents.

However this was only exacerbated by the fact that he most likely experienced severe traumatic pain as an infant from the tests and procedures required for the bone marrow donation Daniel needed. Infants have been studied to feel pain like adults but do not possess the understanding of why it's happening as they're still way too young for the development of that concept. This usually can lead to changes in brain chemistry including pain sensitivity, self-esteem, and stress indicators. I know you can also take a transplant from the umbilical chord (which is painless) but given the timeline Maddie gave Buck (Daniel dying when Buck was about one) I'm going to assume that the transplant took place later after the umbilical chord was long discarded.

We see Buck experience pain when he falls off the bike and calls for his mom but when she rejects him and he starts to hurt himself for attention, you see him almost desensitize his pain sensitivity and builds up a skewed tolerance which is why I believe that the blood clot probably did feel like just a cramp to him. We've seen him take a bowling ball to his head, remain conscious while his leg was crushed, drink coffee from a hot pot, get up from being knocked unconscious after smacking his face into metal vat, and barely even flinch when he cuts his arm open etc etc. He's learned to ignore his pain sensitivity with his adrenaline rush.

The adrenaline rush forms in many different ways with Buck and it's interesting because of Buck's complex relationship with confrontation (because he either faces it head on or he wilts inward and there's no real middle ground). The best example I can think of is when the girls were catfished by a guy pretending to be him. When he was slapped, that adrenaline flooded his system and so his response wasn't to freak out but to laugh it off. But when the girl splashes him with water, his adrenaline rush was cut off by his abandonment issues making an appearance when Abby didn't believe him and left.

Given that Buck grew up in an emotionally neglectful home (with his only caregiver to model emotions and social cues after being Maddie who was also a child learning herself) and not understanding why his parents would get upset over things as he didn't know the reason for their anger, it would seem almost like a hairpin trigger. This unknown would add to the anxiety of trying not to set his parents off. The emotional neglect and the above points probably meant Buck had some slight developmental delays including social ones (see Buck 1.0) which just highlights once again how freaking important Maddie is that Buck became the Buck we know and love! All the things we love about Buck he would've learned from Maddie and that is because Maddie was also a victim of emotional neglect as well. They both had to learn to be self-reliant from a young age but they fed off each other.

This untreated trauma would also explain his self-destructive behaviors and why he and Maddie are so protective of one another.

But because Buck's anxiety has been such a constant in his life it's probably almost something he doesn't even notice. Think of it as tinnitus. It's there but you almost don't even notice it. But when it gets loud, it's all you can focus on. But because his feelings were most likely not validated by his parents, he wouldn't have known what to call it. Repression has been his coping skill for almost his entire life.

Repression can often manifest in a need for control and Buck's need for control comes from how he maintains his body. Caloric intake, measuring of body mass, so on and so forth. There was a tiktok going around about how we as a society aren't ready to acknowledge that most of the "gym dudes" that are obsessed with working out and being fit probably suffer from some form of an eating disorder/eating disorder tendencies and I think Buck could fall under that lens. I don't think we'll get the content to necessarily prove that but it's interesting all the same. We also see him with some slight hoarding tendencies when it comes to food too (when he grabs the broccoli and sticks his fingers in the spaghetti and then almost chokes on the bread). This is something we see more of in S1 and not necessarily much since. EXCEPT for the date with Veronica when he suggests splitting the slice cheesecake. At that point you can see Buck is clearly uncomfortable and rather than get his own cheesecake, he asks to share. Then when she body shames him (because yes it goes both ways) he doesn't even eat his cake and brings it home to Albert.

Another form of control we see is his binge researching! This is such an amazing detail to add. You ever look up a menu before you go to a restaurant with a friend so you already know what you're going to get but still look at the menu when you get there anyway? It's a form of gaining control in an unknown environment. But since Buck wasn't exposed to the world until his early 20s, the world as a whole is an unknown environment.

Now: Time for Coping Skills.

So, we often see Buck self-soothe himself (and a lot of it is unconsciously). He rubs his hands a lot. Whether it's together by wringing his hands or on his thighs (for example, you can see him do both when he talks about his parents to Chimney).

Buck also fidgets. A lot. Whether it's with his belt buckle or a tomato or his phone. I know the lines on his phone case are the design but I like to think that they're Calm Strips (which are strips with texture that you can put on things to help you focus or use as a form of self soothing).

He also paces. So much pacing.

I would wager a guess that when he was kid he probably rubbed his head a bunch or ran his hand through his hair. You see him knot his hands in his hair when Abby calls him to talk about Devon. But it's moved over to rubbing his face and licking his lips.

Let's talk about Buck's sitting. I know we like to joke that it's because he's a bisexual who is allergic to chairs but this can also be an indicator of anxiety as well. When he's talking to Bobby about Abby, he sits. When he tells the team he's worried she's going to leave again because Maddie is moving out, he sits. When he finds out why Maddie is running from danger, he sits. Take for example the conversation he has with Maddie at his loft about her calling him sad and lonely. What does he do? He sits on the counter after she pushes him a little to open up. Then what does he do when he thinks the conversation is done? He stands back up again. It's a physical indicator of trying to control the situation. Sure anxiety can make your skin feel like it's crawling with ants but it can also kind of make your legs feel weak and a little hollow. Buck has it both ways. It's why we saw him really unravel when he's forced to sit down because of his leg too (as well as other things) and his squirming when he was talking to Chimney about his parents in the loft. That overwhelmed feeling can take you out at the knees so you see Buck leaning against things too (such as when Chimney was trying to get him to talk to Maddie in Buck Begins).

Now for the real kicker: Buck's stutter. (This one I can speak a little on a personal level because I come off as having it together and being in charge of my situation a lot of the time but I too have an anxiety induced stutter.) We know that Oliver deals with social anxiety in real life so I don't even think he's consciously making the choice to do it half the time but it works with the material that Buck and Maddie grew up very isolated from the rest of the world. The anxiety stutter can range from being debilitating (think The King's Speech) or just the occasional stutter where you slur/smoosh words together/repeat a word/sounds such as "I-I-I mean..." "Hey hey hey---" "Uh, how-- how--- how was the, uh, the big date..". It's interesting that you don't see him stutter as much when he's around Maddie and sometimes Hen and I don't know if that's just because Oliver (because again I don't know if he's consciously making the choice to do the stutter) is comfortable with Aisha and JLH or not but it's great!

This is also why the scene where he blows up with his parents is amazing. That monologue where you hear him fighting to get the words out is another example of him trying not to repress his emotions anymore. "I have spent my entire life feeling like a constant disappointment."... "I have walked through fire every single day of my life because of you." THAT I think was very intentional on Oliver's part.

It'd be interesting to see Buck suffer through an anxiety attack on screen. Not because I want him to have one but rather it's more realistic if he did have one now that he's practicing mindfulness and learning to unpack these things he just thought were normal. It's because of that, that we got him breaking down when he found out Eddie was going to pull through. Those "coping skills" he developed from such an early age were gone and it just sort of exploded out of him.

#Evan 'Buck' Buckley #Maddie Buckley #anxiety #Evan Buckley #Buck with Anxiety HC #Mental health #The emotional neglect Maddie and Buck went through is most definitely a form of trauma #Oliver Stark #911 on fox #fleurdebeton #ask #answered #weekend sleepover asks #also can't wait for #tagnic #to yell at me about this