#nothing but praise here

[guardianspirits13]

Ok. I’m still trying to gather my thoughts and settle my hyperfixation after episode 3 of the Percy Jackson show, but one of my conclusions is that this is one of very few adaptations that actually understands the term ‘adaptation’ and furthermore what makes one successful.

On a fundamental level, understanding and respecting the source material is a must. You need to not just know the bullet points of the story, but you need to know the ‘why’s’- why does this story need to be heard, why do people like it, why does it stand out from the others in it’s genre, etc.

Second, you need to deconstruct the source material and piece it back together in a way that makes sense for the new format. Copy-pasting almost never works, since there will inevitably be discrepancies between the readers’ imagination and the adaptation that can distract from immersion.

Third, you need to provide something new. Why does this story deserve to be told in a different format? What can this add to the original themes of a story? What can we change to make the message come across more on screen? Will this dialogue really be as funny when it’s said out loud?

We’ve seen a lot of terrible “adaptations” of animation and books and musicals into movies/tv shows, and I think even among the better ones there is a dissonance between the desire to stay faithful to the source and the desire to make a good adaptation, with whatever changes that may necessitate.

I think while we’ve watched the casting of this series, the hints here and there, and final the premiere with bated breath, they’ve been playing the long game. They cast Walker as Percy before he was in the Adam Project. Many people expressed…unsavory…feelings when Leah was cast as Annabeth, but those of us that trusted the team behind this project- including the author himself- did our best to welcome her and were repaid tenfold with her performance in this episode particularly.

Most of the scenes in this episode were not at all how I imagined them in the book, but I adored it. They took what they were given and expanded on it. They created a mini-arc for the trio learning to trust each other. They gave Medusa a labyrinthine lair. Annabeth is a 12 year old walking into a convenience store for the first time in 6+ years with $200 in her pocket, of course she’s gonna buy as much as she can carry.

The love and care and artistry that went into this single episode brings me so much joy and gives me so much hope. Like I was already excited for a faithful adaptation, but seeing these characters come to life on screen, once you see their chemistry with each other and how they speak and push and pull at each other’s emotions, it has never been more clear to me the amount of care and foresight that went into this show.

Rick said that these kids are the characters he created and for like 2 years I’ve trusted that that was true, but today it was proven beyond the shadow of a doubt.

I am just…in awe.

#nothing but praise here #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo episode 3 #pjo tv #pjo tv show #adaptation #pjo meta #walker scobell #leah sava jeffries #rick riordan #percy jackson #jess’s thoughts

[cochineal-leviat]

Sweet Dreams, Stardust

Okay, so I have a lot of feelings about In Stars and Time. But let me say first, wow, this game irreversibly changed my brain network. For anyone who is considering buying this game, please do. I don't think I've had a story touch my heart and mind like this for a long time. And that goes without mentioning the stunning visuals and entertaining battle system. (Be careful, though, because this game handles heavy topics regarding mental health)

If you're still hung up on buying it but are curious, there is a free demo on Steam if you like to try.

Thank you, @insertdisc5, for this gem of a game. I will be turning it around in my head like a microwaveable gourmet meal for months to come.

Technically the illustration has no spoilers (unless you count Siffrin having a good nap as a spoiler). But I will be going into heavy spoiler territory under the keep reading since I need to get my thoughts on this game off my chest.

And a monochrome version because you know me, I can't help myself. Even in black and white art pieces, I will put in some colour.

And a very tiny Loop

Initially, I was going to do a piece with a theatre stage and the cast (Siffrin, Mirabelle, Isabeau, Odile, Bonnie and the head house maiden) taking a bow and finally leaving the spectacle to a life not controlled by a script and Wish Craft. But it was more fitting to put my feelings into creating a peaceful scene. Like, oof, I needed this very badly. I used sepia to make the painting warmer and added some more details like headcanons. The stars/colours might be remnants of Siffrin's transformation. Or maybe they were always there, but he never paid attention to it. Who knows.

I'm going to keep this brief. Otherwise, this post will take way too long.

I adore Siff's character. It's perfect for a game and narrative such as this. I saw a post not long ago on Tumblr going into depth about how their role as the rogue and not the hero works so well, so I won't linger on it for long. But how they would rather listen and fade into the background perfectly aligns with the player's experience of being the silent observer. (And the nodding off that changes into zoning out. It took me way too long to realise that small but essential narrative change) Oh, and the portrait change! It flew over my head until I was staring at the game menu. I was so confident Siffrin had a mischievous grin and not a frown. I always feel slightly surprised when the party asks for Siff's opinion or mentions that they have been too quiet. I felt Siffrin's excitement like my own when he got excited at finding clues to end the nightmare they were in. So I knew it would end up falling on their face because they were too excited. I just had this bad gut feeling the whole time during Act 4.

And oh boy, speaking off acts. I thought it would have been the standard 3. Boy, I was wrong. Whenever I felt I was nearing the end, I was thrown back at the start with more mysteries than answers. It made exploring the game intriguing since there is almost no information about it online (at the time of writing this post). There is the Discord, but I didn't know about it until I finished it.

This game has a lot of secrets, and I had a lot of fun uncovering them. The looping mechanic works so well in discovering little details and further leads. (even though my stubborn arse kept trying to do everything in the least amount of loops as possible. I thought the ending would be different if I exceeded a 100. My final number is 59. I am still not sure if I should be mad about it not being a rounded number like 60 or that I went over the 50 threshold)

However, it is a good thing that only some mysteries were solved. Like, what's up with colours in this world? Everyone sees in black and white, and the idea of shades and colours is only spoken of in scientific studies. They do exist and are not a part of the disaster that happened to Siffrin and their land. But there is definitely something mysterious about it. I adore how the dialogue reflects this, as the characters do not speak of shades or colours. Isabeau expresses surprise to see a streak of red colouring the sky in Act 6. It makes you think about how colour is perceived and how you describe it. (The lore inside this game is immaculate. I eat this shit up)

We never find out the name of the country north of Vanguard or what it was like. We can only infer that the beaches had black sand, with shells that shine like stars, high-reaching mountains, forests and plains. Which is vague and yet intriguing enough to make you wonder. It connected me to Siff and King because I also wanted to know. I was desperate to know. I needed to know. But in the end, we never will know because that is not the story's point. Siffrin even says in the game, that King should let go because he is hurting everyone and everything, including himself, in his desperation to preserve Vanguard. This is all the more ironic when Siff accidentally does the same with his family and the loops. I might gush more about what the country might be like and their technology in another post. This game makes me want to theorise. This is the first time I've wanted to write and post theories. ISAT fucked me up good.

Which, by the way, was genius. Siffrin and King are mirrors of each other. Siff does not have King's disastrous ambition, but their love/obsession will be the downfall of both of them. They have more than being each other's countrymen in common, and I imagine Siff despises that.

I love the fact King's question to Siffrin before the showdown was/could never be answered. Usually, in a game such as this, you must figure out how to solve everything, especially for the big bad. But that was never the goal. King is a delusional monster who will not stop before achieving his dream. He will raze everything to the ground and hurt many people because he must succeed. It is what he desires. Nay, the universe wills it. What a witless excuse that can easily be made into someone's truth. Especially to somebody who is driven mad with grief.

How King's character's done is so excellent. Because, at first, I wasn't scared of him at all. He was just the big bad, and I felt nothing much but the glory of victory when Siffrin outsmarted him by looping and making sure Mirabelle learned the shield spell that would protect the party from freezing in time. But each time you fight him, you get more frustrated until Siff figures that talking to him might be fruitful. It does, but unfortunately, you and Siffrin leave yourself emotionally and mentally vulnerable. King stops being a one-dimensional villain and changes into an actual person. Someone you can sympathise with and possibly mend peace with without fighting. You and Siffrin opened his heart for a kindred spirit and got hurt.

King stopped being a monster and became human. And while monsters are wretched, humans have intent behind their cruelty. I felt so betrayed, so angry, but most of all - terrified. I felt it when Siffrin spiralled when fighting King again after their actions caused such a catastrophic turn of events for Bonnie. Every time after that, the fight with King felt tense and nerve-wracking in a dreadful way. Because even victory could not soothe the dread I felt. (The track 'It's finally over" will forever haunt me. I already feel anxious whenever it cycles to that when I listen to the playlist)

He was not, however, the final villain, even though everything that happened was King's fault. You were always your greatest enemy (or Siffrin in this case, since you are supposed to be Siffrin). I never could have guessed that the whole reason why Siffrin could not escape the loops was because Siff accidentally wished to never let go of their friends. This reminds me of Modaka Magica, where (spoilers for the OG anime) Homura goes back in time so much that the universe ties itself around Modoka, making her a waiting egg whose wish and magic will be massive when she becomes a magical girl. The one thing Homura was trying to prevent.

(Siffrin and Homura are identical in that sense. Shy characters who are loyal to a fault but are rendered into something cold, bitter and cutting by their traumatic experiences. Only Siff has people who care about them and would do anything to save him, too, whereas Homura never lets go, making the world a worse place to live in. Yes, I did go into doomed Yuri. That anime lived in my mind rent-free in my mind for years)

The Head House-maiden not being the villain was also a great touch. I am used to the apparent antagonist turning out not to be the big bad and the trusted, friendly character ending up being the evil one. Twist villains no longer work when everyone expects them to be villains.

That was my biggest theory as I played. The second biggest being that Loop is someone who enjoys Siffrin's suffering. I am so glad that was also not the case. They are apathetic but not cruel. Never intentionally, anyway. They were like the player, urging Siffrin to go deeper into the mystery to solve it. Ultimately, I chose and made cold and cruel decisions simply because I wanted to see what would happen. So yeah, I warmed up to this cosmic star thing as the game went on and even started trusting them. Act 5 really is a punch in the gut. I am so sorry, Loop. Thank you for coming through in the end.

Oh man, this is so long, and I haven't even gone into the main cast. I will leave that for another post. They are such great characters, as are the people of Dormant and the House. (Don't think I don't see the wordplay in this game. Very clever)

Going into this game completely blind was the best experience I could have had. I felt anxious, happy and scared so severely that my neurons were rearranged. I don't know if there are more endings (aside from the obvious action of attacking Odile in the True(?) ending of the game), but I am taking a break from it to make art and write for this game before I dive back into despair-o-land.

Anywho, thank you for coming this far and reading my ramblings. Have a fantastic day or evening further! o(*'▽`*)ブ

#in stars and time #isat #siffrin #isat siffrin #isat isabeau #isabeau #isat odile #odile #mirabelle #isat mirabelle #Bonnie #isat bonnie #isat loop #I love this game so much #and the charachters #I want to do an essay on their designs #and even some theory posts #I never had this happen before to me #long post #nothing to see here but me singing praises for this lovely game #isat spoilers #you're safe though as long as you do not go under keep reading #do Siffrin and Isabeau have a shipname yet because there is little of it in the drawing #Siffrin x Isabeau #heh fuck it #isat fanart #my art

[bonebabbles]

I keep starting and abandoning posts that go into my drafts, as I try to stay tasteful about how fucking revolted this part makes me. Like, I'm legitimately unsure if the very relevant trauma I have is making me see things that aren't here

But first we see that Star Flower is trying to ingratiate herself to the group, just after she reappears from chapter 5. Chapter 5 is about how Clear Sky is still abusive towards his son, and she comes in after stroking his ego, stressing how alone she is, and appealing to how she'll be loyal unlike his child. (She glances over at Thunder, directly implying this.)

Now in Chapter 9, she's babysitting and trying to care for Milkweed's kits (in spite of discomfort from Milkweed), taking a wet sleeping space away from the others, and pulling more than her own weight "without complaint." Putting herself through harsh sitations to prove her worth.

All while trying to appear extra attractive to Thunder, and later Clear Sky. Basically every man in power who can "protect her"

Like, am I going fucking crazy? With how we later find out that Star Flower was "promised as a mate" to One Eye's subordinate Slash, is... is that hypersexualization? One of the extremely stigmatized symptoms of sexual abuse?

She goes to find Clear Sky alone to throw herself at his paws, and he's very quickly attracted to how she promises to perfectly obey him, have no needs of her own, and finally be the perfect servant that he desires

"I don't deserve your trust because I am dirt. I understand you because I also regret something. I'd die for you. I'll never betray you unlike those who have."

This isn't manipulation. She means this. The story is playing their romance sincerely. She's comparing "betraying" Thunder by telling her own father about an assassination ambush to Clear Sky's history of child abuse, physical assault, and murder

She believes she's on the same level as this; a monster who murdered a childhood friend in a fit of entitled rage. She was a victim of One Eye who really believes that the way her father used her means she "understands" this monster, deserves this treatment.

And Clear Sky LIKES that.

He likes that she will have COMPLETE FAITH in him. That she will follow him WITHOUT QUESTION. That she will OBEY his orders. That's fucking verbatim, that's THE TEXT!!!

WHILE HE'S STILL CRYING ABOUT "ive tried to atone every day" FOLLOWING THE LAST TWO BOOKS WHERE THE ONLY SHITTY THING HE DOESN'T DO IS MURDER INNOCENT WOMEN

Am I insane?? Am I wrong??? Am I missing something here???? Why the fuck is the fandom takeaway "haha sexy girl steals his dad." Did I read the same book

#Csa mention #Did they once again do a misogyny so hard they accidentally gave their woman character trauma #My tip to anyone in a draining relationship. If your partner fetishizes that YOU would never leave or betray them unlike ''all the others'' #RUN. #There may be a reason their exes cut ties with them and they're praising you for ignoring red flags #Especially when your partner is significantly older and more experienced #Theres nothing noble about constantly suffering for the sake of 'loyalty' #Star Flower PLEASE get out of here you dont fucking deserve this you did nothing wrong #Bones reads dotc #Dotc hate #I thought i was just remembering things wrong when i was adding the subtheme of thunder having a connection to star via abusive dads- #-in my dotc rewrite. But no it's right there. It's in the text and it's something clear is attracted to #I abuse the shit out of my son and he left me once over it #But i can abuse this girl his same age and she won't run. Finally! A victim who won't leave! #And then they become mates and she births at least two litters #Cw abuse #sa mention #EDIT: I've changed the language just slightly #because the timeline COULD work out that starf was an adult when she was promised to slash for a very brief window of time #and hypersexualization is a symptom of trauma resulting from many types of sex abuse. Even that done when the victim was an adult. #it's just more common in CSA

[lunar-wandering]

I genuinely think so many people have forgotten the fact of "there are no toxic fandoms, only toxic people".

When fandoms get big, of course the amount of people u want nothing to do with is also gonna get bigger.

Youre not meant to combat them. Youre not meant to talk about them and expose others to them.

Youre meant to block them at the first signs and continue to enjoy your experience interacting with other people.

Kill the weeds, don't let the seeds spread, reap your wheat and enjoy your bread.

#this post brought to you by #me yet again seeing a 'x fandom is awful and toxic' #whilst ive experienced nothing but joy + made most of my current friends through said fandom #im part of that fandom. youre part of that fandom. that fandom brought us together. #you would insult something that created something so beautiful? #just because theres some assholes ALSO in it??? #i just. i cant STAND it #its such a fucking generalization #im so fucking tired of 'fandoms are bad' mentalities #yes theres some assholes. most of us dont want them here either #yes theres people being 'cringey'. leave them alone theyre just having fub #fun #fandoms are a COMMUNITY #of people brought together via a common love of one thing #we praise fanfic and fanart for being so creative #but those only truly exist because fandom does #u cant love one and then blatantly insult the other #jeez #im just. i get so depressed when i see those takes #its like. sometimes some of these takes really just give 'people cant have fun anymore' #and other times i see a 'fandom bad!!' take and im just like #u do understand fandom is a community that YOU are meant to build right? #its like how people tell people to curate their dashboard. fandom is the same #block the people u dont like. dont engage with drama. dont make callout posts. #(if u must u can PRIVATELY inform your mutuals if theres some asshole in the community) #fandom is meant to be FUN. A discussion of what people love and an exchange of arts #not continuous arguing over what hcs are correct and stuff #just. god. fandoms arent awful. thats like saying all humans are bad. #just block the assholes. let people have fun. and enjoy yourself. #those are the three rules of fandom.

[total-drama-brainrot]

Alenoah, where Noah cares about Alejandro, more than Alejandro's family did:

Noah: I will now torture you.

Alejandro: Kinky!~

Noah: I think you are brilliant and beautiful.

Alejandro: Wait!

Noah: You deserve to be cared for and loved, despite your mistakes.

Alejandro: No!

Noah: Your feelings and needs are valid, and deserve to be heard.

Alejandro: I need a safeword! 😳

Real.

#almost went on a whole rant here about how alejandro wouldn't know how to process unconditional care and support-- #for himself as a person instead of the praise he receives for his persona/mask/“charming” act #and also how this ties in to him being starved for genuine affection/love which is why it's so ironic shipping him with noah of all people #since noah is not the type to show a lot of affection. at least not publicly- and even when he does it's usually veiled behind a layer of-- #sarcasm and/or prickliness. he's like a hedgehog. #but noah WOULD absolutely break out the big guns once he's realised just how fucked up alejandro's home life and subsequent psyche is #“i am going to hurt you emotionally” #“do your best” #“i love and cherish you as a person and expect nothing in return. i care about you and your feelings. you're my top priority.” #cue alejandro ugly crying into a tub of ice cream #noah's trying to comfort him (awkwardly) but it's making it worse because noah caring about him even at his worst is The Issue #alejandro gets to have a breakdown over finally having a healthy relationship. as a treat. #total drama #td alejandro #td noah #alenoah #others' ideas #ophe's ranting in the tags again #replies

[theloveinc]

yandere!bakugo, essentially, TO ME, is just: "If you're good to someone, there's no reason they wouldn't love you. So i'll be good to them, even if it's by force."

#he genuinely thinks simply liking someone and treating them well is enough to make them love him #ignoring the fact you didn't have fun on the last date or the most recent one -- because you said it wasnt for any particular reason #(except he was dark and brooding and scary #and kissed you a little bit too long when he dropped you off.. his arm a just little too tight around your waist) #so why should he stop chasing you? the feelings are bound to stick anyway! he bought you something nice #and even waited very patiently for your to praise him... even if he had to remind you to and asked to go on a date as real thanks #there's nothing wrong with that!! #so why are u still so shy around him!! and have been so busy lately? it cant be on purpose can it? he made sure to kiss u hard at work #to the point you were squirming bc you didn't want people to see!! #caitie here: he's so pathetic he doesn't realize the more he doubles down the more he scares u #and by the time he decides he needs to show you much you mean to him and how to love him back... #he doesn't know that it will never be love. not anymore. not after how he's weighed you down #but he still things HE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG #terrifying #i could go on. but. #this feels like a sloppy medium just ask me abt it lol #shii posts #gen

[fiapple]

society if dc hired a writing team of colour who could acknowledge the racial coding of starfire & raven, explore vic's status as a Black man in modern america who's specific disability further means his body is going to be read a certain way by certain people no matter what he does, along with potentially finding a way to sort through the racisim + fetishization that went into prior depictions of dick's heritage:

#i say team as i think team books would probably benefit from more co-writers anyway. allows for more perspective. also pays more artists. #also i think a prior lack of racial sensitivity on the part of major corporations calls for paid opportunity to- for lack of better terms #because i'm stoned & can't find them- fix the fucking mess of it all #there's so much you could do irt to sociopolitical commentary if you just hired the right fucking people. i'm so over this jesus fuck. #dc #ntt #teen titans #the titans #like and even ignoring that there's so much you could do with the idea of friendships & teams as communities if the job was given to #someone who actually fucking CARED about any of those things. #anti tom taylor #legit if i see anyone on the dash praising it i will lose all respect for their opinions. #this man is worse than every insta poet put together and we could have had SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER. #cis white guys write the most absolute crap-paper worthy at best stories&comic companies are just like ''here go. fuck up even MORE stuff'' #am angry #if you see the version of this post with a typo just say nothing. yes my brain was just going ''why why why why'' that hard.

[sunflowerjune]

Had a thought sparked from today's sermon. (it was about the magnificat and it was great!)

The OG teenaged girl chosen one is Mary!

#this is half-baked at best #but she was nothing special from the outside - poor and lowly by her own admission - but her fitness lies in her response to God's call: #rejoicing and praising God #humility #there's more here but I can't currently unravel it

[daz4i]

i will admit . i am scared

#not in a funny silly tumblr way unfortunately 😔 #but in a 'they are kidnapping citizens or holding them hostage in their own homes' way. #in a. literally 100 dead 1000 injured way. the last time i saw at least. i try to avoid the news for that reason #i don't live in the area affected thankfully. it's just rockets here and even that was mostly in the morning #but it's still scary... a friend's sister was in the area and is currently missing. and i mean. the entire situation sucks to say the least #it's frustrating how there's nothing to do about it other than look for distractions 😐 #vent #ask to tag #it's a small thing but I'm grateful i only saw one post praising this war #usually going on tumblr during wars means every other post has some link calling to kill all of us for living here lol #also didn't get any hate asks. for. living here. so that's a good sign ajskflhlj #thank you btw. unironically. I'm glad i can go here and just see anime bullshit really akdkflpjj i need the escapism 😭 #edit: oh no yeah there's rockets again. lots of them. hearing lots of booms outside. cool

[maddy-ferguson]

thinking about the haterest tweet i've seen this week that said rachel being on the 30 under 30 list but not ayo is crazy one of them was so much better than the other in bottoms when she (ayo) was literally one of the judges and was on the list last year...

#like now what #and the tweets throwing her under the bus because noah's on it when it was probably made a while ago and even then people were like um he #literally went to israel this summer this is not new like do you think ayo edebiri is frantically checking where noah schnapp travels to #and also. THE TWEETS SAYING FINN SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON IT INSTEAD BECAUSE HE'S THE BETTER ACTOR ANYWAY skDKJSKDJKSJ like OH MY GOD. we were #all here last year and even just six months ago when tweets saying finn was the worst actor out of the kids had tens of thousands of likes #it's like when mila kunis and ashton kutcher (and also debra jo rupp and kurtwood smith) wrote letters for danny masterson and people were #like oh this is why topher grace didn't hang out with them when they were filming that 70s show and everyone praised him for literally #doing nothing because in comparison he was suddenly extraordinary #but like. saying finn deserves it more because he's the better actor is so fucking funny like I REMEMBER #also he was on the list in 2020 and you can only be on it once but just. very funny revisionism #a lot of tweets were also saying what about like millie sadie (who have also been on the list before) but finn was the #funniest. no shade #and like i say: brf slt

[nostalgia-tblr]

So I am ostensibly doing Fic Research by rewatching an episode of telly and re that post about Depressing Sylvie Headcanons I think it is probably correct and Sylvie no longer speaks Asgardian, for I def got the vibe that she has no idea what the words to that song are.

Meanwhile, look at the stance, look at the swagger:

This 'serenading the lady (or gentleman, or whoever) to win them over' technique has worked before and is expected to work again. That's confidence. Misplaced confidence, but it's still confidence.

However:

Oh no, the lad is smitten. Caught in your own spell, you idiot. You fool. You protagonist who will be heartbroken a few episodes from now.

#sylki #fun times on lamentis with loki and sylvie #(yes the 'enemies-to-lovers speedrun' episode has its own tag round here this should shock no one and it shames me not) #fic research is of course connected to a But What If They Banged On That Train? fic (what a classic subgenre of fanfic that is) #i feel like i mentioned it before it's an angsty backstory-dump to explain a minor not-even-plothole-really then They Bang On That Train #so anyway that #sylvie my precious blorbetta #HER PAIN IS SO DEEP U GUYZ #IT LITERALLY EXCUSES ANYTHING SHE EVER DID OR DOES OR WILL DO OKAY #THIS INCLUDES THINGS THAT ACCIDENTALLY GET OTHER MCU CHARACTERS KILLED IN MOVIES SHE'S NOT EVEN IN #...no wait i don't think she actually needs a justification for things she had nothing to do with and couldn't have predicted so fuck it #but then i am somewhat Loki In That Third Screencap about her and i know that #behold i used screencaps i cited my sources i did all the proper things this is practically an academic monograph praise me for it #loki series

[xiaoalexy]

NO SHUT UP BARBATOS PRAISE ME MORE

#xa #obey me #obey me! #om #nightbringer #obey me nightbringer #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #i do nothing but suffer down here and barbatos won't even let me be praised for a minute

[mukuberry]

its so hard to not call my milgram plushies slurs whenever i see them

#[insert spongbob meme here] THAT I CAN RECLAIM!!!! #ever since i got dr kirisaki its likee there's a demon inside me yelling at me to insult him 24/7 #which i would happily obilge but i dont wanna upset my kaz plush yknow........ he deserves a happy life of nothing but praise and love #shidouhateposting #kazuiloveposting

[bugbxyjunk]

the only thing that keeps me going in the school year is academic validation

#i am nothing without praise from teachers/my talent search woman officer thing #and my parents #last year i was crumbling because i kept getting sick and my grades dropped so much #not this year #i cannot do that again #god i always feel like my mental health is better during summer #i just get so bad during the school year #tw for relapse in this last bit don't continue if that's something you can't handle rn 🫶 #also i always end up relapsing in the school year #with everything #my ed flares up so bad during school and my coping mechanism for that is not any better #im just trying to stay positive but its kinda hard when all of my thoughts are fighting in my head #bugs junk #vent #sorry guys #like #really sorry #i know i try to keep in positive and funny here #ill be fine soon my posts Will be normal again and sharks/mlm stuff again