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#one who said he wanted ‘the kind of relationship people used to have in the good old days’
lyvhie · 2 days
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do you write for chenle? if so could i request angry sex with chenle? and plotwise/anything else can be up to you, you always make such creative works 😍
desert island | zcl
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boyfriend!chenle x fem!reader (18+ mdni)
summary: a stupid little game seems to be enough to make you speak with recklessness and throw reason out of the window in the heat of the moment. but since you were unwilling to be so easily placated, chenle was decided to talk some sense into you.
a/n: sorry for being so late, anon 😭! ofc i write for chenle, how could i not?! thank you for the kind words, i hope you like it!! 😚
cw: smut, use of 'whore' (only once), hair pulling, slighty spanking, begging, reader is DRAMATIC, chenle is kinda mean, petnames.
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honestly, you can't think of a better partner than chenle. he's always so sweet, caring, and considerate, and you could talk for days about every single thing you love about him because you really love him a lot.
the same applies to chenle, who thinks you're so perfect for him. every time he wakes up and looks at you beside him in bed, he can't help but think how lucky he is to have someone like you by his side.
arguments in your relationship were rare, but not non-existent. like any kind of relationship between two people, disagreements occasionally arose.
you generally handle them with a mature conversation about the issue once the dust has settled, addressing the problem and coming to a mutually-agreed solution. however, sometimes, you both seem to be unable to agree on a resolution to the problem at hand. that was the case now.
it was a real stupid argument. you were released from work early and figured it would be a good idea to stop by the studio to see chenle and head home with him. as it turns out, it was a surprise when you showed up without prior warning, but he was happy to see you and it made your visit all the more meaningful.
during chenle's break time, the dreamies were engaged in a light and silly conversation about "who would you take to a deserted island." it was an innocent little game to pass the time and have some fun. when it was chenle's turn to answer, he surprised you by not choosing you, but one of his staff’s. this simple and seemingly harmless choice was the root of your trivial fight.
you didn't react immediately, simply laughed it off as if it was nothing but chenle could tell that something was off the moment you both got into the car. the car ride was unusually silent on your end, and chenle began to brace himself as he realized you were upset about something. he mentally prepared himself for whatever he felt was about to come as you walked through the front door.
"so..." he began in a gentle but careful tone, sensing there was an underlying issue you weren't being open about.
"nothing," you casually responded with a shrug, walking off and towards the bedroom. "it's nothing," you repeated again, but he wasn't fooled by your tone.
following close behind you, he asked another question, "is it me? did i do something to upset you?" he raised his eyebrows at you expectantly, wanting to get to the bottom of the problem.
"no" was all the response you gave him, short and sharp just like before. as you continued into the bedroom and began to tidy up the already clean room, he leaned casually against the doorframe and observed you closely. he didn't say a word because he knew he would just have to wait until the "you know what's funny?" and there it was, your signature phrase for when you're in a bad mood, spoken in a slightly annoyed tone. he knew this would be coming.
"no," he said calmly and crossed his arms, looking directly at you and watching you make some futile attempts to find anything out of place in the already immaculate room. "please, enlighten me," his gaze intent as he awaited the inevitable moment of venting that always ensued after that phrase.
"of course you wouldn't," you replied back, feigning innocent ignorance and even rolling your eyes as you dramatically shook your head and sighed. "i didn't expect you to have kept a list of all the female entertainers you would consider taking to a desert island. so why don't you enlighten me on your priorities?”
for a moment, chenle's eyebrows were raised in a mix of confusion and slight surprise as he heard your words, genuinely believing that you were joking or being sarcastic. then came his soft laugh, as he was almost incredulous that you kept up this attitude with your arms crossed and a serious expression. "baby," he spoke gently but firm as a warning, "you can't be serious right now. it was an innocent little game that you shouldn't take so seriously.”
"oh really?” your words laced with mockery. “an innocent little game? then it shouldn't bother you to explain to me why i wasn't even on your radar. it was a stupid game but your answers just proved to me that i'm an afterthought, even in your fantasies. at least in your fantasy of the women you'd be willing to take to a godforsaken place with no hope for escape. so am i so insignificant that i didn't even make the cut for you?”
chenle pauses for a second to process the situation and your words, running his hand through his hair in an almost unconscious gesture of self-soothing. if he didn't know you better, he would've thought you were crazy, but after that incident with the stupid "worm" question, he knows that you're just dramatic.
he approaches you, cupping your face in his warm hands as he gazes at you.
"baby, please," he pleads, the affection evident in his voice as he tries to reason with you. "look at me," he says softly, using his palms to gently guide your eyes to focus on him. once your eyes meet, the intensity of his gaze deepens as his expression softens and his voice grows more gentle. "this was just an innocent game and you're blowing it out of proportion. please don't be like this. i love you and you know it. there's no other woman that compares to the love i have for you, not in a thousand lifetimes would i ever take anyone else over you. you're mine and always will be.”
even though you could sense the sincerity and love behind his words, you maintained a guarded demeanor, refusing to give in to it until you were completely satisfied with his explanation.
you know, you had a sharp tongue and an even sharper intelligence than some could imagine when you chose to use it. unfortunately, this was a time where the first worked, but the second didn't.
“well, it seems that you just have to be on a desert island to fool around with someone else, right? you just want to enjoy some fun and pleasure while away from the world,” your tone became sarcastic as you continued challenging his words and reasoning. “so who are you going to enjoy it with?”
your thoughtless words brought you to this moment. one of chenle's hands was intertwined between the strands of your hair in a tight grip, pushing your head against the softness of the mattress, forcing you to stay with you ass up. your eyes slightly red, your face puffy and wet, both from sweat and crying.
“fucking. stubborn. whore,” he spit out, each of his words was accompanied by sharp thrusts that made your bones shake and you gasp, the sound of skin against skin filling the room. “can't listen to what i say for not even a damn minute,” he slapped your ass hard, making you whine and your eyes water again.
you lost track of time during this torment. it felt like torturous hours, where he kept teasing, edging you, not even letting you touch him, your ass was already marked by his hands, you felt the sting of each spank he gave, saying that brats like you don't deserve to feel good.
chenle knows you with the palm of his hands, he knows what you like, what makes you melt and he would definitely use it against you. his slow but powerful thrusts hit all the right spots that make you see stars behind your eyelids, his hand slipping between your legs to rub your clit in equally slow circles.
“…. ase…” your tiny, teary voice echoed through his ears. “oh?” he scoffs, pulling you by your hair until you were close enough for him to whisper in your ear. “i can't hear you, say it again,” his warm tongue sliding through your neck, sending you goosebumps.
“p-please…” you raised your tone slightly. “i'm so, so sorry, chenle,” the desperation and pleading in your voice is obvious, as is the remorse that you felt for your actions. “please, please, let me cum, please, just once, please,” the need seeping through every word, begging for relief and satisfaction.
a smug grin crept up his face when he heard your desperate tone. he loved how hopeless you sounded. he loosened his grip on your hair, pulling you into a kiss as he stopped his thrusts to savor the moment. his hand moved away from your clit to held your cheek as his tongue invaded your mouth, completely taking over the kiss.
your emotional state was so volatile right now that you honestly felt like crying. chenle knew that you loved kissing him, and by constantly pushing you away, he knew it was torturing you. your attempts at kissing him were met with a painful slap to your cunt, almost as punishment for trying to force yourself on him.
this simple yet deeply cherished kiss was enough to make you melt completely. you were yearning to feel this level of affection again after he kept pushing you away from him, it was all you were craving since he pushed you down onto the bed and shoved his cock inside your pussy.
as he pulled away from your lips, leaving you desperate for more, he let out a short, breath laugh at your reaction. he found it amusing how you chased after him to continue the kiss, but he was quick to remind you who was in control here by just pulling on your hair to keep you in place, making you whine pathetically.
"well," he purred against your ear, moving his hand caressingly over your body. he made lazy circles on your soft skin, lingering on your belly, you suddenly felt him be a lot more gentle. "since you asked so nicely, should i give you what you want, baby?" he raised an eyebrow teasingly as he waited for a response from you and all you could do was nod fiercely, letting small pleas of "yes, please" roll off your tongue as you awaited his move.
chenle hummed, feigning deep thought as he observed your face. He worked hard to maintain his composure and keep from showing his mischievous, devilish smile as he saw the light of hope that your expression lit up. "okay," he said finally, "i think you seemed remorseful enough,” his words were enough to bring a jolt of excitement to your system, you felt a rush of adrenaline course through your veins and every single muscle in your body tensed up, waiting intently for him to give you what you wanted.
with a light kiss on your lips, he turned you over and positioned you so you were laying on your back. hands that had recently been mistreating you were now caressing your body delicately, as if you were the most delicate thing ever made. his kisses traced your jawline before moving to your neck and breasts, making you think that the wait had been worth it. the punishment had ended here and he made you believe that the only thing you deserved now was his gentle touch and loving kisses.
he straightened his back, the movement causing his hands to move from your sides to the back of your thighs. in one swift motion, he lifted your legs and pressed your knees against your chest, and the sharp sob that escaped your lips was all the confirmation he needed that he has you right where he wanted you.
you felt his tip teasing your clit and your entrance, your pussy glistening from how wet you already were, his hard cock sliding inside you without any difficulty, your warm, gummy walls welcoming him as he filled any remaining space in your pussy.
“you feel so good, don't you?” his eyes fluttered shut in pleasure, and a low grunt slipped past his lips as he threw his head back slightly in a gesture of complete relaxation. he would never tire of this feeling that was almost overwhelming at this point. this applied to you as well, your hands gripping the sheets tightly as you moaned softly, feeling just how deep inside of you he was.
“you feel so damn good,” he whispered in a low, husky tone as he begins to thrust into you relentlessly, his tip kissing your cervix every time his hips slammed back into you, your eyes rolling to the back of your head at the feeling.
he increased the pace, leaning closer towards you. the full weight of his body was now pressing onto you, keeping you down and pinned to the bed but there's no resistance from you as you are simply overwhelmed by his size and intensity.
he had been playing with you for such a long time that it didn't take very much effort at all to push you over the edge. your moaning and whimpering got louder, your body tense and your breathing more shallow. your voice was coming out in a pitch that was nearly unrecognizable, with a few "thank you's" and some other incoherent words escaping your lips, your pussy clenching around him—he recognized this as the ultimate sign that you were approaching your orgasm.
“are you close, baby?” he asked even though he already knew the answer. “y-ye—” you were interrupted again by another hard thrust that made you let out a soft yelp. he grunted as he felt your muscles clenching around him once more, gripping him tightly. “c-chenle,” you mewled his name, “i-i’m gonna c-cu—”
before you could finish your sentence, he was quick to pull out of you, releasing the grip on your legs, making you let out a soft whine in disbelief when he pulled out without letting you finish, and all you could do was lie there as a deep emptiness washed over your body, your walls now clenching around nothing. you look at him with wide, teary eyes and trembling lips.
chenle’s grin widens when he watched your expression, a look of disappointment on your face as you realized you didn't get to cum as he made you think. he was satisfied in the knowledge that he had denied you the satisfaction you wanted and was pleased with how desperate and frustrated you were looking at him.
"aww, is my baby about cry? " he mocked you, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he reached out to wipe away the tear-filled eyes that now betrayed you. his hand lightly traced the curve of your face, moving slowly and tauntingly, as if he was enjoying your helpless reaction far too much. “that’s what you get for acting like a spoiled little brat,” his voice filled with condescension as watched how your emotional state seemed to sink lower and lower as a result of his words.
"you thought i would just let you have it your way?” he scoffed and shook his head at your naivety. "i thought you would know better by now, baby," his voice taking on a false empathetic edge as he leaned in closer. his voice became softer, his lips pressing lovingly against yours for a quick peek. "aww, no, no, don't cry," he echoed the soothing words with another kiss, teasingly brushing away the tears with his finger. "if you beg good enough, i might give you what you want."
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acourtofthought · 2 days
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My husband finally put into words for me something that has been the main problem with this whole Anti Gwynriel because of Gwyn's past narrative.
According to Anti's, it's not ok to ship Gwyn with Az because she's not healed enough and hasn't shown that she's ready for a relationship.
According to Anti's, fanart of Gwynriel in provocative positions are not appropriate because it's disrespectful to Gwyn due to her SA, that she needs to first give verbal consent before we're allowed to imagine what a HEA for Gwynriel might look like.
And at first, it almost feels like a gotcha for them because you question whether you're disrespecting real survivors by saying, "she doesn't need to give consent for us to ship them since it's a book." This statement is true, I don't think readers should be forced to abide by real world morals when it comes to possible paths a characters arc might take, however it makes you pause for a moment to question whether what you're saying is disrespectful to those who have been victims.
But he actually flipped that entire thing on it's head when he said, "if the issue is about consent, then why is only being applied to a SA victim? Shouldn't consent be applied to everyone?"
It was kind of a lightbulb moment for me because those Anti's never vocalize how it's wrong for people to ship Eris & Az, Mor & Emerie, Vassa & Lucien (SA victim), Lucien, Jurian & Vassa, the LoA & Helion (because at this point they are not a consenting pair), Nesta & Eris. There are a bunch of non canon, non consent ships in this series and nobody has an issue with those. Nobody takes up the crusade arguing that it's wrong for people in the fandom to imagine those pairings together or drawing fanart of them in NSFW positions. Most of the time they're celebrated but has Emerie consented to having a sexual relationship with Mor? All she did was call her beautiful and Feyre had done the same in ACOMAF. Why do they never call out fanart of that pairing? Or Neris after Nesta harshly rejected him? Where Eris is currently suffering torture at the hands of Beron and we've got no clue as to his sexual preference. Also, Elain only consented to a fully clothed kiss in the bonus (remember, she grew up with human morals which she still holds fast too, she didn't jump right into bed with Graysen), we have no evidence she wanted more yet there's plenty of NSFW E/riel artwork out there and I'm betting some existed before SF, before she even consented to a kiss.
The only time I've ever heard anyone argue for consent or argue against NSFW art is in relation to Az and Gwyn and the message they're sending is that only female characters who have been SA need to give consent before fans should be shipping them.
That's when the shipping agenda makes itself known because if no other non-canon / non-consenting pairing disturbs them to the point they need to create post after post surrounding how wrong people are for shipping them, then it's clear to see that it's only Gwyn being shipped with Az that they take issue with and when only E/riels make these arguments, it seems highly suspect.
Gwyn's SA is irrelevant in terms of consent because EVERYONE should have consent before engaging in physical acts with others no matter their past. However, Gwyn's SA should not be the weight dragging her character down, the scarlet letter on her chest that means the fandom isn't allowed to give her the same treatment that all other characters receive. Where we're free to imagine and create fanart / fanfiction / headcanons (even the NSFW variety) for any pairing that we desire, regardless of their past or preference, even those who have never expressed romantic interest towards one another, except for Gwyn.
Consent in the actual book will be important but consent having already been given in our imaginations so we can imagine possibilities beyond what is currently written is the right of any reader.
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chilschuck · 3 days
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Can i request for chilchuck react to reader who like to daydream and after he tell the reader he is married, the reader keep spacing out more often out of sadness and they also try to avoid interacting with him much so she can move on. But laios and the other think it's normal since she always avoid interacting with people ( the reader interact with chilchuck more after falling in love with him )
Do you think he will notice? (ಥ﹏ಥ) (ಡ‸ಡ)
`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ WAHHHH ANON this is such a good concept and made my heart hurt…… i ended up adding some comfort to it because if you’re like me, you need it after reading angst!! :”)))
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— OF COURSE: chilchuck x gn!reader.
꒰ warnings: ꒱ sfw + hurt/comfort! might be a lil ooc, lol.
꒰ wc: ꒱ 941
✦ i hope this turned out okay!! i made it shorter than my other drabbles by accident but it felt good to end it where it did. i kind of changed the prompt a lil but only because i wanted to give you guys some love from chil still. (;;;w;;;) i’m honestly worried this turned out bad…. hhhhh. i’m so sorry if it’s not what you wanted. ;;; i still hope you enjoy!!! <333
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He knew something was wrong.
It wasn’t difficult to see that you had started avoiding him. Even your gaze refused to meet his own for longer than it had to. Your constant spacing out and stares at the floor said all he needed to hear: you were upset.
It only seemed to get worse when you overheard his talk about reconciling with his wife, any hope you had shattering into a thousand pieces in front of you. From then on, you didn’t smile unless you felt you had to. The thick silence you left in your wake was suffocating, and Chilchuck wasn’t sure how much more he could take.
The other members in the party took it as if you were being your usual spacey self, and didn’t draw any attention to the issue. This only made Chilchuck feel worse; he definitely noticed the change.
You used to hang back with Chilchuck and talk with him constantly, sharing little tidbits about yourselves or chatting mindlessly. Things seemed to come easily when it came to you... Too bad he only realized this now.
The smiles you gave him, the eyes full of affection, the lingering touches… It stung that they were no longer a part of his everyday life. Instead, the sadness that ate at you only bled through to your face, into your actions, and into your silence. It was unfamiliar and unbearable at the same time… Especially with the way you’d closed up further.
Chilchuck wasn’t stupid; he knew you harbored some sort of feelings for him. He wasn’t sure if that made this hurt more than it would otherwise. You were obviously distancing yourself from him, further proving his point that inner party relationships were trouble. Yet, there wasn’t any anger or resentment in his chest towards you. If anything, this was a misunderstanding between the two of you.
Calling your name, he approached you almost apprehensively. The recoil you gave made that familiar sharp pain in his chest reappear. Blurting out an excuse, you made your presence scarce. And just like that, you left him alone again.
Of course he noticed. If anything, he hoped that it was all some sort of miscommunication. Sure, he wanted to reconnect with his estranged wife, but… That’s what they were: estranged childhood sweethearts that grew apart. Along with their love, their relationship changed. Things weren’t something he could fix, and his old flame knew that too. But he hoped more than anything they could sort through their differences and still be at least friends.
Of course you didn’t know. There was no way for you to know, or have known his true intentions. Like everything else he tried to bury deep down, you were fading from his life. Chilchuck couldn’t seem to let this one go, to let you go.
So he chased after you. For once in his life, he decided to not swallow these feelings down. He knew there was only so much he could bury, only so much he’d want to bury. You didn’t deserve that, and he needed you to give him those smiles again. To give him those gazes full of adoration and those tender but fleeting touches…
You didn’t pull your hand out of his immediately. Instead, when he called your name again this time, you turned. Chilchuck swallowed.
“Why are you avoiding me?”
Surely there was a better thing to ask at this moment, but your lip quivered nonetheless. A deep sigh leaving you, your gaze met with the floor again.
“…So it’d stop hurting.” Was all you replied, the weight of those words knocking the air out of him. He opened his mouth to speak, but you raised a hand to silence him.
“This is for the best... I hope you understand.” Your voice used to never sound so broken. It was soft in a way that he’d never heard before. You had truly given up on this, and he can’t say he blames you. He’d have given up on himself, too.
But he can’t let himself fall into that same cycle of self-pity. Not again, he assured himself, reaching up to grab a fist full of your top and pulling you down to meet his eyes. “Let me explain this to you. Please. I… I’m not going back to her because of the reason you think.” Chilchuck hadn’t heard himself this pleading in so long. He felt pitiful, and he suddenly remembered why he doesn’t like being vulnerable.
You couldn’t stop your head from nodding a yes to his request, that spark of hope trying to ignite once again in your chest. Trying to snuff it out, you waited patiently for him to continue.
And so he did. Baring it all to you, he decided this would be another step towards being more open with himself. Maybe you’d see him as pathetic for this, but he tried to piece the words together as congruent as possible. The feelings he had for her distinguished with the years spent apart and even some of the time spent together. This whole time he’s been sure that he just wanted to right the wrongs he did, and move on. Hopefully with you, when all this was over.
Of course you said yes. You listened, and with every word that left him, the flame within you rekindled. You weren’t sure what to say for a moment, besides giving a light laugh in relief. Even Chilchuck exhaled a brisk chuckle, scratching the back of his head in nervous habit. He’s not sure he could ever get used to this whole “telling your true feelings” thing.
But for you, he’d try.
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— dividers by @/cafekitsune!! <333
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shangchiswife · 1 day
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dating thorin headcanons!
hey guys i was rewatching the hobbit and i wanted to make this for thorin because he's a baddie.
thorin x gn!reader
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Very, very closed off when you first meet him
It was Gandalf that thought you would be useful to the company as you were an excelled healer
Thorin’s focus is solely on reclaiming the mountain and he’s pretty skeptical of you and doesn’t know whether you truly belong in his company
Is the last to warm up to you when you joined his company 
He is amazed by how fast you become comfortable with everyone, especially his two nephews who you immediately started joking around with when you met them.
Thorin's perception of you shifts as he witnesses your compassion and skill as a healer. His respect for you grows as he watches you show kindness and empathy to the people that are hurt.
He also starts to understand why Gandalf put you in his company and how your role is important.
Once you’ve shown him that you’re able to be trusted he is comfortable around you
He also starts to get protective over you, especially during battles
Will literally scold you when you almost get hurt. “How careless could you be? You could’ve gotten killed?” he had said one time when an orc’s blade almost impaled you. You were hurt by his words but little did you know it was his way of showing that he cared.
Sometimes when everyone else in the company was asleep, you’d talk to him about your life and he’d tell you about his childhood in Erebor.
Overtime he began to trust you and found comfort in your presence.
When you both are by the fireplace you both steal glances at one another.
When he catches you staring, your cheeks give you away, flushing with warmth under his gaze.
His lips curl into a knowing smirk, his eyes dancing with amusement at your reaction.
Is also very chivalrous and is always looking out for you even if it means sacrificing his own comfort.
One cold day on your journey, you were shivering, and Thorin didn't waste a second before giving you his big fur coat.
When you protested, worried about him getting cold, Thorin simply smiled and brushed off your concerns, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. "I'd rather see you warm," he said tenderly, his words stirring a flutter of butterflies in your stomach. 
Eventually, your stubbornness won out, and you convinced Thorin to share the coat with you. With a soft chuckle and a gentle nod, he relented, and the two of you huddled together for warmth.
Balin is the first to notice Thorin’s growing affection for you.
He wastes no time in encouraging Thorin to act on his feelings and express his love for you.
Initially Thorin was hesitant because of his responsibilities as leader and was also a little scared of ruining his friendship with you.
Finally he works up the courage to tell you his feelings for you and is pleasantly surprised when you tell him you feel the same way.
Fili and Kili tease have a blast teasing their uncle about his new relationship with you
They’re always wiggling their eyebrows, flashing cheeky grins, and cracking jokes whenever their uncle is around you.
Thorin is never hearing the end of them. 
The rest of the company thinks you guys are cute but are always poking fun at Thorin because he is always just in awe over you.
Thorin will sometimes get annoyed at all their teasing but deep down he appreciates the support from his company and the respect they give you.
He loves to show you the beautiful sights he encounters on the journey.
Despite his tough exterior, Thorin's actions always convey a sense of warmth and tenderness.
His gestures may be subtle, but they speak volumes about his affection for you.
Whether it's a reassuring touch or a lingering gaze, Thorin's actions make you feel truly cherished and loved.
Isn’t really a big PDA person but once you guys are alone he’s all over you.
But occasionally he will hold your hand or gently lift your chin with his fingers.
Sometimes if he’s feeling a little risky he’ll even kiss you on the cheek. “What was that for?” you’d ask, clearly surprised by his boldness."I couldn't help it," he'd reply with a soft smile, "You looked absolutely adorable." 
He loves being the big spoon and wrapping his arms around you so that you feel safe and secure.
He isn’t really one for words but he loves to gift you things like jewelry or even little flowers he finds while on the journey.
Also loves to braid your hair as braiding and hair in general is a big part of dwarven culture and it’s one way he shares his culture with you.
Wherever you are, Thorin’s gaze always seems to find you. Even when you're apart, you can feel his presence, his watchful gaze silently reassuring you that he's there, looking out for you.
He also gives you a promise ring and tells you his desire for you to rule beside him once he reclaims his home.
You practically almost make him fall over when you throw your arms around him and accept the ring. As you cling to him, Thorin can't help but chuckle softly, both amused and touched by your enthusiastic response.
Everytime he catches sight of the promise ring on your finger, he can’t help but smile and  feeling a rush of warmth and affection wash over him.
Once Erebor is reclaimed, you meet Thorin’s sister, Dis and immediately hit it off. She becomes one of your closest friends and offers you love and guidance as you start your new life in Erebor.
Thorin’s kisses are electrifying and always leave you breathless.
His kisses are rough and filled with an insatiable hunger that leaves you breathless.
Thorin's hands, usually steady and controlled, become rough and possessive as they roam over your body.
Despite the challenges you both face, your love for each other is strong. And you know that with Thorin beside you there’s nothing you can’t conquer.
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gnomebinary · 6 hours
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This is my protocol bingo! (Thank you as always osric.com).
Lena is just doing her evil job - No thoughts, no morals, no alligence. Girlboss.
Nobody ever finds out Jmart's real names - I just think that would be tragic, and fit in with what RQ have been saying about this not being too attached to Archives.
Redemption arc - There was a notable lack of these in Archives even though forgiveness and making a conscious effort to behave morally were important themes in the later seasons. I'm ready for Mr Bonzo to have Kylo Ren's exact redemption arc where he's redeemed mostly through kissing. I don't even care who he kisses.
Froyo trip - It's pretty clear that we're being told that this is Somewhere Else through things like the Archives staff having tea and the OIAR staff having coffee. The s1 Archives gang iconically got icecream, so I'm gunning for a froyo trip, and a Gwen monologue about preservatives.
Colin dies first - He's just so killable. Plus, Celia can't die until they do her reveal and they'll probably want to build up to it, Sam can't die because he's the driving force behind investigation into Magnus, Alice can't die because she kinda makes the whole show, Gwen can't die because she's mid-arc and it is of the type that if left unfinished it would be anticlimactic not tragic, and Lena can't die because the impact would be pretty low.
Nostalgic PC games - I LOVE that RQ appears to be into old tech. I want to see Chester and Norris play Catz 5. Lowfi retro charm.
Dyhard - I go back and forth on this one, it feels too obvious what with the hot drinks imagery workplace annoyances to lovers stuff, but at the same time it does Just Make Sense.
Somebody becomes disabled - In Archives people were injured a lot, but none of that amounted to a long-term physical disability, except for Melanie's blindness. Feels like something to do in Protocol.
Police brutality - Feels like a theme that Jonny still has more to say about, and an incredibly easy one to weave into this kind of story.
Alice is hiding something - I actually think she isn't but y'all are saying it.
Alice naming stuff has consequences - She does it so much and Colin warned her off it, clearly seeming concerned but not explaining why, I think it will have unforeseen and damaging consequences.
Someone has a pet - In Archives, especially in the earlier seasons, everyone was notably unattached. Martin has a mum to take care of, but nobody has partners or children. I think this was partly because it made them easier to manipulate, and partly because it meant that tragedy could be dialled up: Sasha dying was sad, but not as gutwrenching as Daisy dying because Daisy's relationships were more fleshed out because it was later in the series. We're already bucking that trend with Celia's son, so I think we might see a pet too. Also, the pet will probably die.
Alice dies in the last season - Alice is very killable but she's also the heart and soul of the character relationships, so I think they will kill her but they'll wait to do it, and then do it mid-final season as an OOH THEY WENT THERE turning point, like how Tim dying brought in a new, darker era for Archives.
Conclusion that love isn't what makes you human - At London Comicon in October, Alex or Jonny (I forget) said that if Archives was about what makes you a monster, Protocol is about what makes you human. I think it's kinda trite if love is the answer, and I think the conclusion re love will be that monsters can love, because that's cooler. Hell yeah romantic monsterfucking.
Celia evil - I LOVE that we're seeing another Welsh person, but she doesn't sit well with me.
Agnes returns but we don't hear her speak - The tree on the other side of the rift is still alive, and if that universe was this one then that means that Agnes may still be alive. Jonny and Alex have said that they regret not doing more with Agnes, and I don't think they'll miss out on the opportunity to use her again. However, I think the fact that she doesn't speak is central to her tragic character and role as Jon's character foil, and I don't think they'll change that. I actually posted a tiktok about this.
Scene on London public transport - We're already seeing our gang at the pub and on dates, I think we're going to get some tube content.
Jmart fate worse than death - They're going to have us WISHING that they died in mag200.
Fears never treated as separate - I just think we're over that.
Breakup - They're getting the character relationships in early, so I'm predicting an onscreen breakup, because that's one of the few ways that we didn't see relationships between characters going bad in Archives.
Gerry's life gets ruined again - I'm sorry guys but I don't think they're going to let him have peace. He's going to get dragged into the OIAR situation and he's going to suffer.
Alice's brother lives - People are already noting similarities between Alice and Tim, I think that it'll be essentially the same character beat again if her brother dies. Adapt, improvise, overcome, RQ.
Another Michael - Just another character called Michael, unrelated to the four existing Michaels. I wasn't going to put this because Jonny is very aware of the four Michael problem, but this man plagurised his own full legal Christian name, so anything is possible.
Jack is Agnes' Jack - I think it's cool if we all think about how there was actually a massive age gap between Agnes and Jack because she didn't seem to age past her twenties, so he was absolutely a child when she was an adult. Not that I want to have Discourse or anything, that relationship was hecked up and complex in plenty of other ways, just because it's interesting.
Onscreen kiss - They said they wouldn't do it during Archives and then they did and it wasn't that gross, so I'm ready to see it happening again. They might have a relationship between allosexuals this time, I don't think they're going as far as onscreen fucking, but I'm game to be surprised. Insert joke about reusing the whimpering noises from Archives here.
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sillybayo · 23 hours
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Bayo's Black Rose Arc Analysis
Some notes before I begin:
-This ramble/essay contains heavy discussions of CSA, general sexual themes, and incest. Also, keep in mind that the characters discussed here are 12-17. While I will be looking into how sex affects them mentally and such, I will not tolerate child sexualization here. I will block anyone who makes a single weird comment or make me uncomfortable. We'll be talking about this from a pure psychological standpoint.
-This is a thought dump rather than anything formal, so I won't be dropping episode titles or numbers. I'm also going purely off of memory, and things I said in group chats. So if things lack clarity, this is why.
-I'm not saying I "cracked the black rose arc code" or anything, this is purely my interpretation that I wish to share, due to not seeing many black rose analysis', and being displeased with what some people have said and concluded. I just want to put what I think out there for others to enjoy :3.
-To avoid being repetitive and cluttered, I'll be generally referring to any character who pulls swords out as "wielders", and any character who has had a sword pulled out of them as "sheaths". Any scene where this transpires will be called a "sheathing scene."
-Once again, due to the material of this analysis, I will be blocking anyone who sexualizes the characters in notes, or anyone who I see as creepy.
With that out of the way, let us begin :3!
So I was watching rgu video essays one day, and I stumbled across one about Miki. About halfway or late into the video, they begin talking about how Miki and Kozue had sex in the black rose arc, due to the way she touched him before the sheathing scene, and the way he turned beet red when Nanami asked how it felt for the sword to be taken out. And I thought it made sense at the time, as I was still new to utena, and I only watched it once. And the allegory is clearly there in other black rose sheathing scenes (besides with utenanthy), right?
But then I thought about it more when I rewatched the juriori black rose episode a year or so later, and caught Juri blushing when Nanami asked her the same question. And...wait. Because doesn't all of the black rose sheathing scenes look..uncomfortable? The sheath cries in pain as the sword comes out of their chest, and Wakaba even forced it out of Saionji. And this weirded me out, because why would a show thats so clearly against rape of any kind go on to write something like this? Why did Miki and Juri blush about something that was so forceful? And even if they were under a mind controlled like state, why would they write the wielders to be rapists? With the way rgu writes sex and rape, it didn't seem right, y'know?
So a few months later, when I decided to continue my rewatch and reached the Wakaba black rose arc episode, thats when I truly started to think about it more. And thats when I reached a conclusion: Miki and Juri are more influenced by Touga and Saionji than they realize. And by extension, they're all influenced by Akio.
You see, Touga and Saionji clearly view Anthy as someone to be sexualized. Shes their wife, who would fulfill their every request. Even though they might not know Anthys and Akios relationship, and/or how the latter treats her, this is an undeniable shared mindset.
Even though the boys and Utena uses Anthy as a sheath in the exact same ways on the outside, you know that when its with Touga and Saionji, its sexualized. They own her. When Touga demands Anthy to kiss his sword, it feels so off that Utena couldn't bare to watch. You could argue that its because it would hurt Anthys lips, but in later episodes its clear that it isn't the issue, as Utena uses the same powerup but in a more supportive fashion rather than sexual. So whats up with that?
I say; in (most of) the wielders view, the sword is like a penis.
I know, a very silly thing to say. But I don't mean exactly. And I, of course, don't mean literally.
Do you know that scene from the scream movie, where the two guys are stabbing each other, begging for it and all? It definitely has sexual undertones, because of the mood set by the characters, and heres where I'm getting at; the idea of a long pointed object being thrusted in you.
What I think is that Anthy is so sexualized by the student council, that the idea of a simple sword being pulled out of her 14 year old south asian brown girl chest, is arousing.
So when each of the student council members become sheaths themselves, of course they think that its one of the most sexually intimate things to experience. And its so stupid, right? Its just a sword. a SWORD.
And I shouldn't be referring to the student council so generally, because Nanami is the only one who sees through this. As far as I remember, she wasn't weird in the slightest when she was Tsuwabukis sheath. And even in the apocalypse arc, shes uncomfortable when Touga kisses her, and disturbed when walking in on Akio and Anthy (but then again I haven't rewatched that episode yet, so I could be wrong). She purely meant to ask how the sword felt, with no sexual intent. Miki and Juri were just pure idiots on that part.
So then, wait, if the sword pulling in the black rose arc wasn't a metaphor for rape, then what is it?
Well, I argue that it black rose wielders follow the same mindset as some sexual assaulters when they're under the effects of Mikages reverse therapy, in a way. Its the strong feeling of thinking the sheath owes the wielder something, and that the wielder deserves it no matter what they say.
Another reference to a different piece of media, but remember when its revealed that Pearl continued to fuse with Garnet for her own personal wants, which crossed Garnets boundaries? People interpreted that scene as Pearl raping Garnet, when....no. What? Of course she isn't. Its just the general idea of your wishes being disrespected, and boundaries ignored. Do you see where I'm going with this?
The black rose wielders see something in the sheaths that they want for themselves, whether it be their love, their attention, or some secret third thing. So with nothing but entitlement and desperation in their heart, they force the sword out of their hearts, where their desires lie.
But, wait. How about other scenes with swords? Like when Anthy is Utenas sheath, and when Anthy has a thousand swords stabbed into her? Do swords still represent desire?
Well, yes! Very easily. Utena fights for the pure sake of love and friendship. She fights Saionji when hes cruel to Wakaba, and she swears to protect Anthy with all her heart. She duels with the strongest ounce of care in her soul. Thats the desire to keep her loved ones happy.
What about when Anthy what continuously impaled? Well, that was the villages desire to get to the prince. And it was Akios desire to finally revolutionize the world after so long.
I may be missing a few scenes, but this is the general idea, and I hope I got the idea across. Thats the end of my little ramble :3. As an acespec hypersexual, I already spend a lot of time deconstructing the truth behind sexual things and feelings. So this was fun to think about. I hope y'all liked this, and understood it most importantly. Toodleeess
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clumsycapitolunicorn · 5 months
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it's been nearly 6 months since the ted lasso finale and im still pretty much:
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#ted lasso#messing with us tedbecca shippers and giving rebecca some rando...ruining a canon ship...trying to girl boss a character-#-who you didn't even let have her own work plot when it was time...#making two men who had a beautiful relationship growth fight last minute over said girlboss and making them grossly misogynistic#leaving one of your characters in an ab*s*ve relationship was an awful woman and all the mentioned ab*s*ve moments were-#-just for sh*ts and giggles#ohhh and also making it mandatory to forgive even the sh*tty people when it's ok not to#taking your lead away from a place he was most stable and maybe or maybe not having him get back with his ex who told him he was too much..#-got with their therapist (and you never dig deep into that mess) and maybe cheated...#yes to be with his son but there were options for him to stay in london and bring his kid and ex so they could both parent or show a-#representation of these kind of situations and maybe have henry living with each parent 6 months each and getting the best of both worlds#also your boss is more rich than she started and was providing for you your kid and ex#instead we get ted only deciding to leave after his mother told him his kid missed him (as if that isn't obvious) such a weak way to go-#-about it and tbh ted leaving his kid far away to go to london instead of like half an hour way is kind of stupid all round really#they wanted a mary poppins situation except mary poppins made some roots of her own and had connections so it didn'twork#yeah i am still...feeling a lot
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andthebeanstalk · 10 months
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What up I'm married to a tall person who is basically Milo Thatch but agender, and uhhh, basically, yeah, everyone should be jealous and I LOVE MY CUTE TWINK NERD WIFE!!!!! 😤😤🥰🥰🥰❤❤❤👌👌
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#original#i love my wife#had a big crush on that character growing up#you know who else is really into her? EVERY OTHER CHUBBY TRANS GUY IN CHICAGO apparently we just see her and are like OH HELL YEAH#do you know why this is? it is because we have excellent taste that is why.#and also we want non threatening masc people to be into us and respect our gender! that's me anyway#and this is excellent news for her anyway bc we're in an open relationship & she thinks guys like me (her HUSBAND 🥰😁) are incredibly hot#this is also bc she has excellent taste.#but it is a running joke that she keeps getting nice OKC matches that look a lot like me 😂#anyway this post is a thing that would have made young me BOIL with envy if someone else said it but in fact it is ME#and young me grew into me and is in here like AAWWWWWWW YYYEEEEEEEEAAAHHHHH 🤘🤘🤘🤘🚀🚀🚀#she doesn't just look like Milo she also moves and emotes and talks like him. and until recently her glasses would not stay on her face!#she got new ones. nerd. i adore her.#she is so kind to Jack (me) and to my giant anxious pitbull child#she puts his blankie on him as he rests on her toes to make sure she doesn't go anywhere 😭😭❤#she is my best friend and she never makes me feel stupid or fake or undeserving. she just likes me so much and she fkn acts like it!#and we have good boundaries and communication in a very autistic way [positive] and she is so smart and funnyyy#oh i am falling asleep now#probably has something to do with how thinking about my wife makes me feel safe and warm or some gay shit like that 🙄 ;)#edit: omg it just occurred to me that she is like 80% Mill and 20% Jessica Jones. just in terms of like. vibes. XD#she cares a lot about Jessica Jones. I will tell her my findings in the morrow#*80% Milo
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like hearing an autistic person talking abt realizing like "oh so friendships for some ppl don't involve always having to maintain a performance" and going damn right yeah and now "oh so friendships for some ppl involve their getting to expect that the other ppl will be interested in them and provide support" like huh go figure. more surprising like oh right i guess i always felt like interactions require maintaining a performance that can only go wrong (generally true; like there's no "well you're ruining things by keeping ppl from being the Real You so just Be Yourself" like a] masking isn't Real or done by Yourself or b] like if you unmask people like you now & ableism is over, b/c it was your fault for reacting to it in the first place) & thus also that i should be interested & provide support but not expect that in turn / the sense as well that you are/can only come up short and have things to make up for anyways while lucky whoever's even providing the time of day
then it's always an Exercise to go "oh right well beyond going [my god autistic character] the whole time, what Things re: winston billions was i still not quite seeing as as unusual / Not Good as they are. even for billions" like sure noticing he's holding on to the hopes of some kind of positive / actual relationship w/rian for like year 950 & this manifesting with the Determined Friendliness but zooming in like oh i guess that adamant amicability sure involves winston suppressing a negative reaction to negative treatment and yet still hoping for an improvement, which like, was always Possible but a) hinged on rian simply choosing to change how she regards/treats him (or someone intervening to change the situation) & b) apparently is not going to happen. thinking like yeah that's very Friendly of him. and knowing like man winston's sure still trying to keep this friendliness offer open for like two years. but also now more specifically going like Yeah and pretty fucked then that his baseline expectations don't include that Mutual Interest & Support (though someone being abusive is definitely interested just not in any good ways. and certainly not (actually) supportive)
#and then in immediate retrospect it's like I Mean I Knew It & even now to be saying it feels like i've effectively already said it#just more precise/specific Language available. & where even if it's like [restating this one idea] that's gonna say smthing new / a bit dif#winston billions#from the [immediately going HM HUH first time seeing his clips but taking months to be like He's Autistic(tm) Btw IMO] to now struggling to#say another Ay Word in discussing [he has a devoted workplace bully] as Abuse(tm) when plenty of what's abusive is considered ''normal'' or#correct or even Ideal while defining Abuse as xtreme outliers due to evil intentions & extraordinary situations (that you should avoid)#it's power structures & efforts to control & use/refuse people as things....plenty of ppl who can feel they're just acting Normal & Natural#while other ppl in entire groups Do have to perform which can only go wrong & be hurt / get that everyday trauma from their Normalcy.#those allistic social skills huh (again tldr invoking this concept just Is ableism....)#after a casual twenty plus years w/the gradual convergence of [figuring out i'm autistic] & [not blaming myself for being mistreated b/c#i'm autistic] does put a damper on expectations re: all interactions but it's like the way someone put it the other day#who hasn't said anything abt being autistic but that they don't think anyone's guaranteed any kinds of relationships/companionship incl#friendships (which i agree with; & it's not at all uncommon for ppl to be hard up for those out here. despite ppl treating socializing like#a meritocracy like hmm anyone doesn't have friends? sounds like that's on you not getting good / deserving that) & so he consciously#navigates how to like be genuinely satisfied w/a life that's just got him in it while being open to other ppl. thinking of how i've heard#abt Just That re: autistic ppl (but framed specifically re: dating; like might want a romantic relationship but ofc no one's guaranteed one#of those either (even if this too is definitely treated like in fact you Are guaranteed one & it is Again a meritocracy) And ofc there's#more barriers/hurdles for autistic ppl) & just going like yeah i've sure been always navigating that too while being open to ppl sure but#not feeling like i need that to change & sure asf not focusing on Putting Myself Out There lmao. i put myself out there by existing & by#saying things & by trying not to try to preemptively appease/appeal to anyone. seeing another quote today abt how they're nonverbal & this#results in being regarded as hostile like eugh been there enough; classic [putting myself out there] dramedy of terrors from back in the#day as a teen living on college figuratively sprinting around trying to figure it out; both the Autistacity & Abuse lol. & racking up more#of the latter for the former while i'm at it....nowadays like. certainly recent successes in [spontaneous alignments of being friends] had#to start w/like weeks into months of i'm not expecting someone else to have interest & in fact Am expecting; if nothing else; them to#realize w/e interest motivates them to talk w/me to be mistaken or w/e. as i'm struggling not to mask / beating back efforts to actively#appeal to anyone. being duly surprised when after months they still feel like talking to me. & even then just kind of entering another#phase of ''well but still'' lol like when interactions have largely felt like Buying Time at best#def on the same page as that guy like even [have friends] is not a Need. when i could go ''time to recharge socially'' & make it happen#what i like to do is go be in public '''''by myself'''' around ppl. truly the good shit. doing that kind of shit w/ppl has = nth wheeling.#now insert a short essay spinning off all this abt an approach to Language parallel to [concepts re Socializing] as tag thirty
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always-andromeda · 1 year
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Checked my Hinge app for the first time in like two months. I was not missing much!! 😀👍🏻
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inkskinned · 9 months
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no, actually, where is the whimsy?
my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?
we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.
earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.
i stared at my ex. he stared at me.
his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!
it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.
and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.
my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.
which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.
but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.
the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.
so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.
and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.
where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.
it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.
this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.
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UPDATE What's up, it's the proposal guy. You said you wanted to know how this turned out, so I figured I'd tell you. First some context though, because I'm mean and I wanna keep you in suspense longer.
1- I don't wanna doxx us so I'm not telling you where we live, but suffice to say, neither of us are American, and gay marriage has been legal here for less than five years. For both of us, this is the first relationship we've had where marriage was even an OPTION, and I think that's where we've been getting some of that whole 'this has to be a REAL proposal with EVERYTHING' idea.
2- I gotta figure out how to explain this properly. So, I'm pretty used to being the GUY guy in relationships? I was always the one who did the nice gestures, not the one they got done for. Before I met my dream guy, I didn't really notice or care that it was such a thing, I just assumed that's how shit worked. Also, I promised I wouldn't talk a lot about his stuff here, but his last boyfriend before me SUCKED. Anyway point here is, it turns out we both REALLY like feeling swept off our feet sometimes, and a big part of finding each other has been getting to feel special for once? That's a stupid sappy way of putting it the point here is I think all that's what morphed into "I need to be the one getting proposed to, also it has to be completely perfect", and then our Petty & Extra genes got involved.
So I'm sitting in bed thinking about all that up there, and watching all the comments coming in basically being like "Dude, you are BLOWING this" on repeat, and telling me to compromise, and I look up and see him flossing in the bathroom and making all these doofy faces at the mirror, and it's like a switch just flips in my brain, and I'm like "Oh, I'd rather he gets to have his perfect proposal than we both have an okay one". I'm gonna do it.
Morning rolls around, and while I'm 'out for my jog like normal' I hit up a pawn shop for a temp ring (the ring pop thing is cute but NOT HIM). I found one I was at least confident wouldn't get ruined the first time he got his hands greasy (he fixes old machines as a hobby it's hot as hell), got back home, and hid the box in the toe of my nasty ass workout shoes in the bedroom closet, since I figured he'd check there last.
He was still asleep, because he stays up late no matter what and then is SHOCKED he's tired the next day, so I called and booked a table at our usual anniversary spot. (Side note about the 'he picks bad restaurants' thing. This isn't an 'I like Greek, you like Chinese' situation, dude's just BAD at finding places. He either assumes pricey is tasty and I get to eat some overrated gourmet bullshit, or he'll try and find something hip and underground and risk giving us food poisoning again, and he REFUSES to give up and pick somewhere we've been before when it's his turn to plan date night. I'm obsessed with him <3.) Date was set, I'd propose on the 21st.
Some of you might have noticed this, but fun fact! It's currently the 16th.
Last night I'm doing dishes and he's been sent to our room for mug collection duty, and he's taking FOREVER, so I go check just in case he found the ring, because the man's a gift tracking BLOODHOUND. Turns out he hasn't, he's found my Angry Box.
I assume other people have an Angry Box? Basically, we had this huge messy fight right when we first moved in together, and I never wanna let it get that bad again, so I have this shoebox where I keep a bunch of our stuff I can look at if we're fighting and hopefully cool off. There's one of those photo booth roll things, letters we wrote when he moved back with his parents for COVID, the wine cork from our first date, shit like that. Anyway, he's just sitting on the floor staring at it, and I explain about the Angry Box, and then he! Proposes!!! Kind of.
He definitely didn't have anything prepared, because by 'propose' I mean 'ugly cried & rambled at me for several minutes before I figured out it WAS a proposal', but once I got on the same page it was amazing. I said yes, and he had to admit he didn't have a ring for me because he was CONVINCED he'd win and I'd do it, so I grabbed mine because, yeah, he was right. He was like "this is the ugliest ring I've ever seen" and I was like yeah well the plan is to replace it later and he went "No. You can pry this off my cold dead fingers. After I'm buried with it." So I guess it's not a temporary ring anymore.
I'm just gonna go ahead and skip to this morning. I pointed out we still have the reservation, and he said I should propose there anyway because "We can get a free dessert. They have those creme brulee shot glasses you like. And for love, or something" and I said ok deal, but that means you gotta get me a ring to keep it fair, and his eyes LIT UP. When I swung by his work for lunch he was still on the phone with a jeweler and he had a whole page of notes on three other ones. Pray for me.
OH PS: I was RIGHT that he'd been the one behind the cat biting me, but it wasn't about the proposal stuff, it's because I paid my baby sister three dollars to shout 'fuck you' every single time he enters a room she's in for (if you ask me, he should be madder at my sister for charging so little), and he did it by giving her a bunch of treats for biting his hands too, so now neither of us can pet our baby girl without oven mitts on. HOLY SHIT I love this man.
Oh my goddddddd I love everything about this <333 I awwww'd out loud on a voice call, like, six times while reading. You two are friggin perfect for each other and so obviously smitten with each other and I wish y'all all the happiness in the world
PS Are y'all planning to have a big wedding? If so oh boy I can't WAIT to get that one in the inbox
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lesservillain · 3 months
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alpha!steddie x omega!reader Part One. summary: after finding yourself in a pinch, an ad in the local paper for a paid surrogacy gig catches your attention. free food, housing, and all doctor visits covered, and all you have to do is pop a baby out for a a hot alpha couple? what could go wrong! cw: OMEGAVERSE. established steddie. smut, angst, m/m/f, anal (m receiving), daisy chain, free use kink, breeding kink, lots of unprotected piv, surrogacy, strangers to lovers, alpha x alpha relationships are considered taboo wc: 10.6k
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A heavy ball of nerves filled your gut as you sat in the busy coffee shop. You sipped on your drink, eyes darting to the door every time it opened as you waited for them to show up. Them being the alpha couple that you contacted the day before. 
Looking for a way to make some money in this small town that you’d decided to settle in, an ad in the classifieds caught your attention. 
Wanted: Omega Surrogate for Male Alpha Couple.
It wasn’t something you’d expected to see in the Sunday paper. Hawkins came off as a more conservative town, and it was pretty common practice for people to look at male alpha and same sex beta couples a certain way. 
Of all the combinations of couples in this world, most of them could produce children except for two male alphas and same sex betas which made the coupling quite the taboo. It was pretty well known that most adoptive agencies and surrogacy clinics wouldn’t assist those kinds of couples, so an ad like that isn’t uncommon, just not something you would have bet money on finding.
The ad itself seemed very enticing. The couple lived in an allegedly nice neighborhood called Loch Nora, according to the barista you’d asked. It made sense considering the couple said they would pay for all your needs like food and doctors appointments. 
You were currently living in a motel while you searched for a place to live here. And the more time you spend searching, the more money you spend on food, the less you have to put down for a deposit. So the offer to have your food paid for for the next 9 months was something you weren’t about to pass up.
The bell on the coffee shop door rang again. Your eyes flicked to see two men walk in. They were both clearly alphas; tall, handsome, and their mixed scents were strong enough to reach your nose even over the strong coffee smell. They were quite the opposite of each other; the one looking like he belonged on a stage performing for a metal concert, and the other looked like he just came from a business casual style modeling gig. 
Their eyes began to scan the shop and it hit you that this might be the alpha couple that’s meeting you. Butterflied erupted in your stomach at the thought of the two of them together. The omegas in this town must have all collectively cried when these two got together.
The rock star guy’s eyes caught yours first. You gave him a small wave and he perked up and returned the gesture excitedly. He bumped the model guy and pointed you out to him, saying something in his ear before the two of them made their way to you. As they got closer, the knot in your stomach got tighter. How they hell were these guys so attractive?
The model guy approached you first, saying your name like a question, as if to confirm you’re who he talked to on the phone.
“Yep, that’s me,” you say as you stand to greet them. “You must be Steve. Your voice sounds familiar.” The model guy nods, pointing his thumb over his shoulder.
“Yes, I’m Steve. And this is Eddie, my partner.” Eddie takes a step forward and extends his hand to you. You take it to shake, but as soon as your hand touches his, a shock of electricity shoots up your arm and all over your body. It was a feeling you’d never had before, and it made you pull away from him. You wondered if he felt it too by the way he looked at his hand and then to you.
“Everything okay?” Steve says, extending his hand out to you as well. 
“Y-yeah, it’s fine,” Eddie says, wringing his wrist in his other hand. You nod, not sure what to say as you grab Steve’s hand to shake. But the same thing happens when you touch him as well.
“Woah,” Steve says with a laugh, pulling his hand away. “There must be a lot of static in here or something.”
“Must be,” you say as you shake your head, sitting back down in your booth seat. 
The two men slide into the seats opposite of you, shoulder to shoulder like any other couple would. Steve opens the flap of his blazer, pulling out a stack of papers from it’s inner pocket and laying it on the table, attempting to flatten it with his…vary large hands.
“Okay, so,” Steve starts, running a hand through his hair. He takes a breath and looks to Eddie and then to you. Eddie’s fingers lace together on the table as his thumbs fidget nervously, is attention staying on the papers.
“This is kind of the guidelines we’ve come up with for what we’ve planned out.” Steve slides the paperwork across the table to you. “Like we said on the phone yesterday, we can negotiate some things to work better for you if you decide to go through with this. Just let us know what we might need to change and we can have our lawyer rewrite it.”
At that last sentence, you realized this was a contract. It made sense that they would want one. What if you had decided to keep the baby and run away? Not that you would. Your life was too much a mess right now to take care of a kid on your own. And you were relieved when you read that they wouldn’t abandon you with the child either.
When you went to flip the page, you could see Eddie physically shift from over the papers edge. There was a pink tint to his cheeks, his eyes downcast with…embarrassment?
“Um,” Steve clears his throat, “This next page…” He hesitates, mouth opening and closing like he can’t quite figure out what he wants to say. “We, uh, we asked for an omega specifically for a reason.”
Your eyes caught the title for the next section of the contract: 
Terms of Conception. 
“Terms?” You say as you begin to read on. Honestly, when they’d confirmed that they would pay for all of your doctors appointments, you’d just assumed that included the insemination appointments. They were a couple after all, one that had been together for more than 5 years now, so you’d figured there wouldn’t be any...intrusion on your part.
But that became abundantly clear that was not what they had in mind.
“We just figured it would be easier and less invasive on your end if we did things more naturally.” Steve’s tone was slightly distressed, worried that their proposal would run you off once you fully understood their terms.
‘The surrogate party agrees to stop all forms of suppressants and birth prevention measures. Heat cycles will be tracked and monitored by all parties for peak conception. Intercourse will be performed by all parties during the following days leading up to and during the peak fertility window. Due to the schedules of the donating party, said party requests that the surrogate party legally, physically, and emotionally consents to make themselves available at all times to the donating party. This includes at all hours of the day and night, as needed.’
“The consent part is really important to us, too.” Steve adds, pointing to the papers in your hands. “Obviously we want you to feel comfortable enough to tell us no, but sometimes with our jobs we don’t work set hours.” Eddie moves for the first time since you turned the page, nodding quickly in agreement to Steve’s words.
“I get it…” you say, pretending to keep reading even though you’re mind is reeling. “It’s like…free game, right?” You laugh nervously, and the two men both shift very differently where they sit. Eddie’s eyebrows go up, leaning into the table with interest in your phrasing, while Steve seems to tense up a bit, his ears turning red.
“That’s a good way to put it,” Eddie says with a nod, “We just want to make sure you’re willing to work with us. We—” Eddie looks to Steve with a smile, “We’ve been talking about this for at least a year now, and we’re really ready to take this next step.”
The way the two men look at each other in front of you makes you melt from how lovey they are. It becomes abundantly clear that, to them, this is just an obligatory step to expand their family. A means to an end for a couple that wouldn’t be able to get help any other way. 
“Oh!” Steve says as if he suddenly remembered something, “This isn’t in the contract yet, but Eddie and I were talking last night when you said you were still looking for a place to live. Well, we live in a fairly big house and we think that for the sake of…convenience, for lack of a better word, that we would like you to stay with us during this whole process. It would give you plenty of time to get a feel of the town, find a place to live.”
You looked at the two men with surprise. You’d be lying if you hadn’t thought about asking to live with them, but you didn’t think that they would be the one offering. And all of Steve’s points made sense to you so it didn’t take long to mull it over in your mind. 
“Well, I mean, as long as this isn’t some elaborate plan to murder me, then I don’t see why not.” 
Steve and Eddie visibly relax, both of them laughing at your joke.
“Nah, we wouldn’t put this much effort just to kill anyone,” Eddie says with a playful jab at Steve, who shakes his head at Eddie’s antics.
“So, does that mean you’re okay with our terms? We totally understand if it’s not something you are comfortably with, and we can give you a couple of days to think about it if you need to—”
Free food, free housing, free healthcare, and all you have to do is let these two hot guys cum in you until you give them a baby?
“I’ll do it.”
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It’s been two weeks since you’d moved in with Steve and Eddie. They took you to your hotel and gathered the little belongings you had and moved you in that same night into their spare bedroom on the second floor. It was directly across the hall from their bedroom, which made sense to you considering the nature of your arraignment. Why shove you all the way on the other side of the house if they were going to need easy access to you during your heat cycles?
After a bit of discussion, they told you that they didn’t want you to worry about getting a job right away. Something about it being too stressful while trying to get you pregnant? You didn’t argue, instead putting your focus on keeping the house put together for them. 
They weren’t exaggerating when they said their hours were a bit all over the place work wise. Eddie recently took over ownership of the local body shop and Steve was a regional manager for Family Video after working his way up in the company. With both of them having so much responsibility, a normal person would wonder how the two of them would ever find time to be with each other.
If someone were to ask you, though, you’d tell them that you are very much aware of how often they spend time together. And that answer would be almost every night.
It was baffling how after both of them working sometimes 10 hour shifts, the both of them still had enough energy to fuck each other almost every night. Loudly, you might add. You’re not sure if they think you can’t hear them or if they’re just so used to living alone that they didn’t think about you being there while they bash their headboard into the wall for hours.
You had mixed feelings about it. Part of you wan annoyed, because it was honestly hard to sleep some nights at first. Part of you was jealous because you hadn’t gotten any since you’d broken up with your ex, and part of your contract included you not having any other partners until after conception. And because of that, part of you was frustrated.
Sure, you were contractually obligated to have sex with them, but it was ultimately on their terms. They were still a couple, and you were just there to fulfill a service. You doubted that even when the time does come that there will be much intimacy between you and the two of them. 
You can take care of yourself, and there have been a couple nights where their sounds have helped you get yourself off fairly quickly. But you were getting to a point where you wish you had a toy or something to make things a little easier. You still had a little money that you didn’t spend before moving in. Maybe on a day they were both gone you could call a cab and see if this town has a sleazy sex shop that no one talks about.
“Good morning,” Eddie yawns, entering the kitchen. He was shirtless per usual, the loose plaid pajama pants slipping dangerously low on his hips as he stretched. 
“Morning,” Steve greeted, eyes still on some paperwork that he was looking over from work.
“Good afternoon, Eddie,” you say with knowing smile, placing a plate in front of him where he sat next to Steve at the island.
“Shit, is it afternoon already?” Steve looked up, his glasses sitting at the end of his nose as he squinted to see the time on the stove.
“Must be Sunday,” Eddie says with a mouth full of sandwich. “It’s feels like it’s been forever since I’ve gotten to sleep in.”
“You slept in last Sunday, babe,” Steve says with a pointed look.
“Maybe I’ll go back to sleep if you’re gonna have that attitude.”
Steve scoffs, rolling his eyes at his husband. Eddie laughs and plants a kiss on Steve’s cheek.
“Do you guys have any plans today?” You ask, cleaning up the mess from lunch. The two look at each other.
“No.”
“Nope, not today.”
“Oh, maybe you two could go on a date?”
Steve looked at Eddie excitedly, who gave him a toothy grin in return.
“That's not a bad idea,” Eddie says. “Been a while since we’ve gone out together.”
The two of them iron out the details of their spontaneous date. From the sounds of it, they’d probably be gone most of the afternoon and possibly into the night. It was a perfect opportunity to make a trip into town for your own plans.
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Once the coast was clear, you took the opportunity to look through the phone book to see if any kind of shop was listed. You found a taxi company first, dog earring the page to go back to as you kept on with your search. 
As you sat there, you didn’t quite catch the way the temperature in your body started to rise. You pulled on the collar of your shirt to fan yourself as you turned the pages, which slowly became less and less clear to you as your vision began to go fuzzy. The mixed smells that you’d gotten used to all the sudden became very potent, filling your brain with the scent of alpha musk.
Before you even realized it, you were on your feet and up the stairs. Opening the door to the room across the hall from yours, you immediately find the hampers full of Steve’s and Eddie’s clothes that they kept in there. You thanked yourself for forgetting to start the laundry this morning as you dumped all the clothes onto the floor of their walk in closet. 
It was heavenly to be in there surrounded by all of their clothes, towels, and other materials that you found to be suffice for your nest. At some point you’d taken off your own clothes and replaced them with one of the boy’s shirts and another’s pair of sweats. You curled into yourself, surrounded by their scent as you slowly felt yourself drifting off to sleep.
You had no idea how long you laid there for. All you could focus on was the safe feeling of your nest and the throbbing between your legs that gradually became more prominent as time passed. It felt natural for you to want to call for your ex, even when you were surrounded by other alphas scents. Your body was just desperate for any relief.
“Shit, there you are.”
A light fills the closet, breaking you from your trance and you call your ex’s name again.
“Shhh, no, it’s Steve.” 
You feel your body being lifted from your nest. It almost puts you in a panic until you get a full whiff of Steve’s scent up close. You rub your face against the skin of his neck, whimpering as the pain between your legs becomes more of a strobing feeling.
“Is she okay?” Eddie’s scent breaches Steve’s take over of your nose. You can feel the heat of his body next to yours as he moves in close. A hand lays across your forehead for a moment, and naturally you lean into the touch before it’s pulled away.
“She’s burning up.” Eddie’s voice sounds slightly slurred, but you can’t tell if it’s him or if your hearing is being affected by your heat.
“I thought we had a couple more days,” Steve huffs. You can almost make out the distressed look on his face with how closely he’s holding you.
“I’ll take her,” Eddie says, his hands moving around you to take you from Steve. But Steve doesn’t budge. In fact, his grip on you tightens, pulling your body closer to his chest.
“N-no,” Steve stutters. There’s an aggressive tone in his voice as he speaks, and you feel him moving you away. It’s hard to tell, but it feels like he may be crawling across the bed with you in his grasp.
“Give her to me, Steve.” Eddie’s voice is demanding, and you feel the pressure in the room change. Steve takes a deep breath in before he lays you down on the bed, the cool feeling of their sheets hitting your warm skin and giving you the chills.
Your eyes open to see Steve stripping his clothes. As your vision comes into focus, you can see the way he looks down at you hungrily with lidded eyes. His mouth hangs open as his breathing picks up, his shirt long gone as he starts on his belt.
The bed dips and you see Eddie make his way over to you and Steve. He’d gotten down to his boxers, a prominent tent where he’s straining underneath the tight material.
“Move,” Eddie growls, pushing Steve over and sliding his way between your spread legs. His eyes are dark, locked on your exposed pussy like a predator about to go in for the kill. In a swift motion he pulls his boxers down to free his cock. It makes an audible smack against his stomach, the head almost purple with how hard he was.
The sight of his alpha cock pushes your body over the edge and a wave of arousal spills from you and onto the sheets below in preparation. Eddie strokes himself, his hand rubbing up and down his length before he moves to position himself at your entrance. Even just feeling the tip against you has you bucking your hips and whining for him. Eddie’s lips curl into a smile at your desperation, nudging you again to tease you more.
Just as Eddie’s about to push himself into you, Steve lunges at him, sending Eddie almost over the side of the bed. There’s a feral look in Steve’s eye as he moves in where Eddie was between your legs. 
Even in your delirious state, your eyes go wide when you see Steve’s alpha cock nudging between your legs. Your body is built to take alpha cocks, which are normally bigger than any other second gender when it comes to size. But you were still reeling as Steve’s cock began to push inside of you, questioning how your body was going to accommodate the whole thing as he began to split you open inch by inch. 
The loud moans that came from your chest filled the room the further he pushed in. Another wave of arousal pushes through you and out to coat Steve’s cock. His body rocked slowly to let you accommodate him, fully aware of how big he really was. Steve’s head rolls back, mouth hung open in pleasure with each thrust. 
“Damn it, Steve” you hear Eddie hiss from beside you. Your head lulls to the side as the bed dips again. Eddie starts to crawl towards you and Steve and you wonder if he’s going to try and push him out of you. Instead, Eddie grabs Steve by the back of his head and crashes his lips into his. You watched as the two alpha’s kissed, their tongues moving in a dance with each other and their teeth clashing with each movement of their lips.
With Steve distracted by his husbands lips on his, he forgets that he was trying to be gentle with you and begins to really thrust. All at once he’s fully seated inside you, barely pulling back before pushing himself all the way back in over and over. It’s so much all at once, overstimulating your body to the point where you cum hard on his cock. 
Steve gasps as you squeeze him over and over, pulling away from Eddie to look at your face. Your eyes roll back into your head and the noise you let out as you cum is choked and guttural. 
“She’s pretty when she cums, isn’t she, big boy?” Eddie’s looking at you with that same predatory expression, a devilish smile on his face as he watches you cum on his husbands cock. Steve nods dumbly, barely cognizant of anything other than the feeling of your tight cunt on his cock as he continues to rock into you.
“Wow, Stevie,” Eddie teases, “I figured you would have cum by now. Her pussy that good that you don’t wanna be out of it yet?” 
Another lazy nod. Steve is panting like a dog over you now, his body slowly slumping forward as he lays himself on top of you. He’s humping into you with no rhyme or rhythm, only chasing his own pleasure as he drools onto your skin.
“Hmmm, well, maybe I need to help you speed things up a bit.” 
From over Steve’s shoulder, you see Eddie’s hand rubbing down Steve’s ass to the small of his back and back up again. You see Steve’s brows jump up before his forehead lands in the crook of your neck. 
Eddie’s eyes meet yours, and you feel your heart skip a beat. He pauses for a moment before he leans over Steve’s body, his big, ringed hand moving in front of your face. He presents his thumb to you, and places it against your tongue. Instinctively, you take the digit in your mouth and suck, twirling your tongue around it inside of your mouth. Eddie hums in satisfaction,a deep chuckle rolling in his chest before pulling his thumb from between your lips. 
“Such a good girl,” he says with a wink. You feel yourself clench around Steve from Eddie’s praise, and he lets out a sharp breath against your neck.
You watch as Eddie’s hand lands back on Steve’s ass. The thumb that had been in your mouth sinks its way inside Steve and the effect is immediate. With only a few more sharp thrusts, you immediately feel yourself being filled with Steve’s thick, hot seed. His cock throbs inside of you as his release seems to be endless. 
The pain in your core dulled with every drop of cum that coats you inside. You feel like you could pass out from exhaustion, but the sudden tightening feeling inside of you has you gasping as Steve’s knot grows inside of you.
Eddie looks at you wish confusion, not expecting your pained expression. 
“What the—Steve, did you fucking knot her?”
Steve’s eyes shoot open, looking at you with more clarity than he ever has before. And in your close proximity, you were able to really look at him. The redness that dusted his freckles cheeks, his long eyelashes that framed his beautiful hazel eyes, the little moles that decorated his skin like constellations in the sky. 
Steve Harrington was beautiful.
“Steve!” Eddie called his name again. Steve looked down between the two of you and sighed.
“Yeah, I’m sorry I—I just didn’t pull out fast enough.”
Eddie sighed, shaking his head. In your contract, the three of you had agreed not that there wouldn’t be any knotting if the other person was waiting their turn with you. 
Sometimes it takes a while for a knot to go down if the knotting alpha knows that another alpha is trying to get to his omega. It’s just a biological thing as most alpha and omega dynamic don’t include two alphas sharing an omega. The whole point of the knot is to keep the alpha’s sperm in the omega for as long as possible and to prevent another alpha from impregnating the omega.
 “You better think of Mrs.Henderson in her underwear to get that to go down faster,” Eddie says with an accusatory tone and Steve grimaces. Eddie’s comment makes you laugh, and Steve looks at you wildly.
“Don’t-don’t laugh,” he hisses through his teeth, “It makes you squeeze me and that’s not going to help my shit go down.”
“Sorry.” You look away from him. If you weren’t still inflicted by your heat, you’d probably feel something along the lines of embarrassment or guilt for your current situation. Because you want to wrap your arms around Steve’s neck and pull him in for a kiss, like the one that him and Eddie had shared. 
You wanted that with Eddie, too, though.
You hadn’t even realized that you’d fallen asleep until you felt the pressure between your legs shift. Your eyes flutter open, and you watch as Steve sits up and moves to the edge of the bed. His knot had gone down but his cock was still as hard as it was before he had pushed himself inside of you.
But your view of Steve was obstructed as Eddie took his place between your legs. He leaned over you until he was as close to you as Steve was.
“Got it in you for more, princess?” Eddie asks sweetly, his hand caressing your face. His scent washed over you and you were immediately back into that fuzzy headspace. You nod up at him eagerly, pleading to him with big, glassy eyes.
Eddie gives you a toothy grin. He gives you a peck on your nose before he leans back on his haunches.
“Can I move you around?” He asks. You nod, and he wastes no time moving you onto your stomach. He maneuvers your body so that your ass is up in the air for him and you can hear him hum at the view.
“Look at you dripping, sweet thing,” he says mesmerized. “Can’t wait to add to the mess.” The head of his cock nudges at your sopping pussy, slipping inside with little resistance as your arousal and Steve’s cum acts as a lubricant. 
Even with the stretch of Steve’s cock, Eddie still felt like he was filling you up as he pushed himself all the way inside you. Eddie stilled against you when he was fully inside. His hands grip your sides as he breathes heavily in and out behind you.
“What’s wrong, babe?” Steve says in a mocking tone. “Pussy too good?”
“Shut up,” Eddie says in a clipped tone. His body starts to move, his thrusts picking up quickly and deeply.
“Oooooooh, my god,” you moan out, gripping the bed desperately to keep yourself grounded as Eddie drills into you. 
“Fuuuuuck, that feel good, sweetheart? Mmmmm you’re so fucking tight, shit.”
“Don’t wanna hear any lip from you when you knot her, too,” Steve pants, his voice sounding closer than it did before. You crane your neck to look over your shoulder and find that Steve is kissing along Eddie’s jaw, down his neck and onto his tattooed shoulders. Steve’s big hand interlaces with Eddie’s on your sides, gripping you enough to pull your ass back and bounce is against Eddie over and over again. Eddie stills his movements and lets Steve move your body instead, his cock twitching like crazy inside of you.
“Hmm, it’s kinda like your pussy toy that you love so much.” Eddie’s breath hitches at Steve’s words. “Except it’s better because it’s the real thing, huh?”
“Ye-yeah,” Eddie stutters. His brows are pinched and jaw slack as Steve continues to use your pussy to fuck his husband. You almost miss the subtle way Steve’s body moves behind Eddie, sure that he’s rubbing his still hard cock against Eddie’s backside as he watches his husbands dick move in and out of you. 
Watching the intimate display between two lovers going on behind you while you’re body is compared to nothing but a toy sends a wave of heat through you. It only takes a few more Steve assisted thrusts before you’re coming undone on Eddie’s cock, soaking him with a mixture of yours and Steve’s cum. 
“Jesus Christ!”
Eddie pushes against Steve’s grip, knocking them away to regain control. Eddie’s body shifts, and his cold rings sting against the hot skin of your shoulders as he grabs them, pulling you back until your body is steady. The momentum of his thrusts picks up tenfold as he begins to fuck you in a feral manner. Eddie’s grunting and hissing coupled with his lack of checking on your comfort puts you fully in a haze. Words fall from your lips with no thoughts behind them.
“Please cum. Please cum. Want your cum. Want your cum so bad.”
“Holy shit.”
All at once Steve lets out a long groan and Eddie’s thrusts suddenly become sloppy. His cum begins to fill you as he still moves shakily in and out of your abused pussy. The thrusts finally stop as Eddie falls forward and crushes you under his weight, his arms wrapping around you and holding you tightly as his knot expands within you.
“Mmmmmmmm.” He hums against your shoulder as he inhales your scent.
“Don’t kill her,” Steve jokes followed by the sound of a hand smacking skin. Eddie’s body jolts, his head turning to look back at Steve.
“I’m not killing her. Am I killing you?”
“Well…” It obvious that you’re struggling a bit to breathe under Eddie’s weight. A moment passes and al the sudden your being flipped, ack against Eddie’s chest and your legs spread as they drape over Eddie’s strong thighs. 
Steve is at the end of the bed, his eyes locked on where you and Eddie are connected. His large hand stroked his cock, chest jolting with a particular roll of his fist over his cock.
“Like what you see, big boy?” Eddie chuckles next to your ear, his cheek rubbing against the side of your head. “I think this one’s spent for now. But if you need to get off, I’m still here.” 
A smile tugs on Steve’s lips.
“Don’t have to tell me twice,” he says, shuffling towards the two of you until he’s between you once again. You watch in awe as Steve’s hand reaches out, his gentle touch landing on Eddie’s taught balls, rubbing them a few times before descending out of sight. Eddie gasps under you, letting in a sharp breath as Steve begins to work him open just out of sight. Curse the lack of movement that being knotted puts you in. 
“If you can make her cum again, I bet it’ll be enough that I can fuck you without the lube.”
You clench around Eddie’s cock at Steve’s lewd words. Eddie barks out a laugh, “I have a feeling that won’t take much.” One hand snakes up your chest to begin fondling your breasts, while the other makes it’s way towards your sensitive clit. Eddie rocks his still hard cock inside you the best he can, his knot is so big it feels like there shouldn't be any room left inside you at all.
“Here, let me help,” Steve says, pushing Eddie’s hand to the side before he can get started on your bud. With a bit of shifting, Steve’s face was suddenly kissing the insides of your thighs, intermittently moving down to place a few pecks on Eddie’s as he worked his way inward. He inches closer and closer until he was dead center between you. 
With heavy eyes, you watched his tongue start from the bottom of Eddie’s balls, gliding upward until his thick muscle finally met with your clit. It sent a wave of heat through you again, the arousal leaking from around Eddie’s knot. But it’s not enough.
Steve’s tongue masterfully flicks and swirls around your bud, occasionally taking it between his lips to suck on harshly. Both of Eddie’s hands twist and kneed at the flesh of your tits absentmindedly, his rocking becoming automatic as he watched Steve’s ministrations.
With all the touches and movements, it didn’t take long to get you back on the edge again with a heavy pressure building inside you. Your body began to shake as you were about to plummet over the edge, knuckles white as you gripped Eddie’s arms as if you’d float away if you let go.
 The sudden twitch of Eddie’s cock inside you as he came again was the final push you need. There was a sudden release as the pressure inside you as your body tensed. Eddie’s knot wasn’t even enough to keep your slick inside. You could feel it pouring out and drenching Eddie under you.
“Atta girl,” Steve praises, his hands rubbing your still shaking legs until the went limp. “You did so, so good.” 
“Fuck, yeah she did,” Eddie huffs, clearly exhausted himself.
“Hey, don’t tap out yet, Eds. I’m not done with you.” Steve rubs his cock on yours and Eddie’s skin, soaking himself with your slick until he was satisfied. 
“Sorry, hun, I’ll try and be easy since you can’t move,” Steve says to you with a sincere look. 
You think back to the noises that the two of them make at night when they’re alone together, always wondering f they were rough with each other. It makes sense, two alphas who naturally want to dominate their partner would probably be like a lion and a tiger fighting each other.
Your body suddenly shifts as Eddie’s back arches off the bed. You can feel Steve’s abdomen against you as he pushes himself fully inside of Eddie, filling him to the brim just the same as he is with you. Eddie’s whole body shudders and he cums for the third time inside you. 
But Steve doesn’t give him much time to recover before he starts moving. His arms scoop under Eddie’s legs by the knees, bending the both of you slightly as he begins to piston into Eddie. Both of your bodies move with Steve’s thrusts, including Eddie’s cock as he’s inside of you. It almost feels as if Steve is fucking the both of you. 
Eddie’s arms wrap around you tightly, pulling you as close to him as possible while you move in tandem with each other. Your so far gone that you barely even register the way his teeth graze against the skin of your neck. He lets out low growls against the skin that covers your scent gland, the pressure of his teeth teasing you as if taunting you with the possibility of him marking you.
Steve’s hand grazes against your cheek, the skin of his arm running against the round of your cheek. It happened so quickly. Your eyes shot open to find Steve leaning forward, a bewildered look on his face that bordered rage. He wasn’t looking at you, though, rather just past you at Eddie. Turning your head slowly, you see that Steve’s hand is completely covering Eddie’s mouth, his eyes wide with realization.
There was a long, silent, unmoving pause. The entire mood shifted in a second, the air thick with tension that made you afraid to even blink. You could feel Eddie’s chest rise and fall under you, your skin sticky from the sweat that had accumulated between the two of you. All you wanted was to crawl away and get in the shower, the very full feeling of being full of 4 or 5 loads of alpha cum was beginning to feel heavy inside of you.
Slowly, Steve removes his hand from Eddie’s mouth, the two of them looking at each other for a moment before Steve clears his throat.
“Sorry,” he says with a forced smile. “That was, um, a little to close for comfort for me. Didn’t mean to kill the mood.”
Eddie didn’t say anything.
The gradual shrinking of his knot made it to where you could slip yourself off of him. Without a word, you rolled off of him and ran into their closet on shaky legs. 
As soon as the door closed, you collapsed into the nest you had made and began to feel a wave of anxiety come over you. There’s muffled words being exchanged on the other side of the door, voiced raised just enough that you could tell it was an argument, but it didn’t seem to escalate much beyond that. 
This isn’t how you expected any of this to go. In the lucid state you were in you tried to remember all the terms that were discussed when it came to actually having sex. One at a time. Only enough interaction to get the job done. Minimal small talk. Knotting is okay considering the higher catch rate. 
But there was definitely not to be any bonding.
The whole thing was meant to be as sterile and clinical and professional as sex between two people could be. Even if they were both hot, there was no way you were going to come between them. You weren’t going to be the other woman.
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A soft nudge on your shoulder woke you up from your sleep. The mixed smells overwhelmed you once again, the floaty feeling in your mind returning as your heat took over.
“Hey, are you okay?” Steve’s voice was gentle and laced with concern. His thumb rubbed circles into your skin as you roused more, turning slightly to look up at him. He was shirtless, only in a pair of gray boxers that you’re pretty sure he stole from your nest before you woke up in hopes that you wouldn’t notice.
“Mmhmm, just really tired,” you say, punctuating your statement with a yawn. Steve chuckled and knelled down next to you, his hand maintaining contact with your arm.
“I’m sorry, hun. We, uh…we went a little overboard with you, so I’m sure you’re exhausted.” You nod your head at his words, only able to keep one eye open on him as he talked. “Is it—Can—Can I—Can we help you get in the shower?” Steve stuttered as if he was asking you if you would scold him. Little did he know that the thought of hot water hitting your skin sounded amazing after all your body had been through.
“Yes, please,” you said breathlessly, arms stretching out towards him. Even in the low light you could see the tension leaving his body. Strong arms scoop you up and lead you into the bathroom. The light was low, water already running in the walk in shower as Eddie stood next to it, his hand inside of the curtain presumably checking the temperature.
“Hey,” he said once he noticed the two of you enter, his voice was stilted. He had an unreadable look on his face, his eyes looking anywhere but at you at Steve. “The water’s ready. You guys should be good to go…”
“You’re not taking a shower?” You ask, head tilting to the side.
Eddie looks at you, his eyebrows disappearing into his disheveled bangs as if he were surprised you were even talking to him. He looked up at Steve, mouth opening and closing as if lost for words.
“Do you—are you okay with him…also being in the shower?”
You look up at Steve, confused at the question.
“I don’t mind.” Your mind immediately goes back to your thoughts from earlier. You weren’t going to be the other woman. 
“Unless you mind. Actually, maybe I should just take a shower by myself.” You push against Steve’s body until he lowered you down onto your feet. You miss the way Steve and Eddie look at each other as you enter the shower without them.
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You awoke the next day burning up.
After haphazardly moving your nest into your room while you showered, you spent a good hour rearranging the different articles of Steve and Eddie’s belongings on your bed before finally falling asleep.
Looking over at the clock on your nightstand, you were shocked to see that you’d slept for 16 hours. It wasn’t uncommon for you to sleep for 10 or 12 hours during a heat, but 16 was a new record for you. 
And your body was paying the price for it. The ache between your legs throbbed as your heat was reaching its day two peak. All you could think about was Eddie and Steve coming in to relieve you of the pain as you pulled their shirts over your face. Inhaling their scent, you let out a load moan that turned into a cry as the pain radiated down your legs. 
There was a knock on your bedroom door. You knew it was Eddie before his knuckles even hit the wood, his scent becoming extremely noticeable to you in the house. Steve must not be home, the lack of the mix of there scents making Eddie stand out much more in his absence.
“Come in,” your voice was strained and slightly muffled by the shirt over your face. The door creaked open, but Eddie didn’t say anything. His silence prompted you to uncover your face. Eddie stood in the doorway like a deer caught in headlights. He was so close, yet far enough way that it frustrated you. 
“What are you doing?” You sounded petulant, and if you were in the right state of mind you may even be embarrassed for using such a tone. But you were in so much pain, and the solution to your problem was dangling itself in front of you just out of reach.
“I, uh, I heard you cry out and I just…” His mouth closed as he swallowed, his lips smacking as if his throat had gone dry. You sat up slowly in the bed and Eddie’s eyes followed your every movement. 
“S-Steve had to go in to work today,” he suddenly blurted out, his blown out pupils meeting yours. “I was able to take the week off to, uh, to—to.”
“To fuck me?” The words came from a place of impatience and irritation. Eddie sucked in a sharp breath at your bluntness, giving a sharp nod. 
“But, I’m not supposed to until Steve gets home.” His head turns to the side, eyes suddenly very interested in a painting on the wall. 
“What? Why? I thought…The contract…”
“It’s because of, well, what happened last night. Steve wants us all to, uh, talk before we go any further.”
Tears begin to form on your lash line. The rational version of you would understand, but the only thing you were concerned about was getting the relief you desperately needed. 
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Eddie’s hands cupped your face, his rough thumbs wiping away the tears that started to fall down your cheeks. “He’ll be home soon though. He said he wasn’t going to stay out a minute longer than he had to—”
The sound of the front door suddenly opening had you sobbing with relief. It slammed shut, Steve’s rushed footsteps echoed up the stairs and down the hall until he appeared in the doorway. His hair was every which way and he was panting after sprinting to get to you.
“I didn’t do anything,” Eddie said, backing away from you, and you could feel the loss of his touch in your soul.
“I know,” Steve said as he rushed to take Eddie’s spot in front of you. “Hey whats wrong?”
You sniffled, looking up at him through your watery lashes. “Hurts, Steve. Please…” You reach out a hand for him and he hesitates. He grabs you by the wrist and pushes your hand back before you can reach him.
“Okay, I understand, sweet girl.” He nods, looking at Eddie briefly before looking you in the eyes. “But we need to talk first. Okay?”
You whine out, rubbing the tears from your eyes with your free hand.
“It’ll be quick, I promise.” Steve takes a deep breath in. The grip on his hand loosens as he takes your hand in his.
 “We…we want to make sure that you’re still okay. After last night, everything happened so quickly and things got carried away…We just don’t want to make you feel like that’s how it has to be.”
You blink up at him, trying to process all the words being spoken to you while pushing down the pain. 
“Because of the contract?” You ask, hoping that you’re asking the right question.
“Yes, exactly. We strayed quite a bit from the guidelines we set and we want to make sure you’re still okay with going forward.”
“Steve.” 
The seriousness in your tone has Steve tensing, his body as still as a statue.
“I know what I signed up for. If I don’t like something I promise I will tell you. But, until one of you knocks me up, you could fuck me on an overpass and I would not care. When I said free game, I meant it.”
Almost as soon as you said it, the room became heavy with Eddie’s scent. The weight has you collapsing on the bed, arousal pouring from you as your body preps itself. Steve looks over to Eddie, whose mask finally drops to reveal the feral intentions he was repressing. 
“Eddie—”
“Steve, I’ve been going crazy sitting in this house all day waiting for you to come home just to hear that I could have been in here taking care of her while she cried out for hours.”
Steve turns to face Eddie fully, gritting his teeth.
“You’re the whole reason I wanted to wait! If you were able to have better control of yourself, we wouldn’t be in this mess!”
“Me? If I remember correctly, you’re the one who said he wasn’t sure he would be able to control himself if we brought an omega into this relationship.”
“I wasn’t sure if I would, but clearly you’re the one who has no self restraint. Trying to bond with her the first time you fuck her isn’t really a good look, Eddie!”
“I said I was sorry! I didn’t—Woah!”
While the two of them argued, you’d managed to slip off the bed and crawl over to where Eddie stood. The bulge in his jeans was too enticing to continue ignoring. You could tell Eddie would be easier to make fold if you made the first move. 
You rub your face against the material in his jeans, mouthing at him until he got the message. Forgetting his argument with Steve, Eddie quietly made quick work of his belt, hastily undoing the button and zipper as well. Your hands took over, pulling his pants and boxers down in one swift motion. You were so close to him that his cock hit your nose as it popped out of the confines of his clothes, eliciting a chuckle from Eddie. 
But you didn’t wait to hear what ever cleaver comment he had planned to say. Immediately you wrapped your lips around the leaking tip, wasting no time trying to take him as deep down your throat as you were able to manage. The sounds coming from above you sent little shivers down your spine.
“Okay, okay—” Eddie pulls himself from your mouth. There was pained look on his face as he pinched the head between his finger and thumb. 
“Sorry, was gonna bust too quick. And as good as you are at sucking dick, we don’t want anything to go to waste right?” You blink up at him, nodding dumbly as you lacked the words to respond to him. His hand came to rest against your cheek and you leaned into it, eyes fluttering shut at his touch. 
“Awe, is the little omega too far gone already? Need me to take all that pain away?” You nodded against his hand, almost falling over when he pulled it away. Before you could protest, you felt yourself being lifted once again, body landing with a plop on top of the bed.
When you looked up, you saw Eddie kicking his pants and boxers to the side, eyes on where you lay waiting for him. For a brief moment, you notice that Steve isn’t in the room anymore. A little voice in the back of your mind tries to break through your fog, but it quiets as Eddie leans over you with his imposing frame. 
Eddie swings his legs over yours until he had you straddling him. Leaning in close, his mouth hovers just next to your ear. “I promised Stevie that I wouldn’t fuck you from behind anymore. Don’t need the unnecessary temptation. Hope that’s okay.”
“O-okay.” It comes out as a whisper, only audible to Eddie with how close he was to you. The heat coming off of him only raised your body temperature more as he caged you under him. 
Suddenly, his hand lands on your hip. His hand slides down your side and over your hip, only stopping once his hand is fully cupping over your center. Two of his thick fingers tease your hole for a moment before he sinks them in. The welcomed intrusion has you gasping out in relief, even more so when his rough thumb toys with your clit. Your arm wraps around him and hold on for dear life as he picks up the pace, his fingers reaching deep inside you as he works you open.
Just as you feel yourself hurtling towards your climax, Eddie abruptly pulls his fingers from your pussy, much to your dismay. You look up at him in disbelief and watch as he coats his cock in your juices before pushing it inside of you. He looks at you once he’s in, an apologetic look on his face.
“Sorry,” he says as he pushes himself in to the hilt, “Wanted to feel you cum on my cock.”
And you did. With only a few sloppy pumps as he got his rhythm going you were spasming around him, legs shaking as he continued to fuck you through it. 
The bed creaks as his hips rock into you. Skin against skin, sweat dripping from his face down onto yours from your combined body heat filling the room. Eddie’s very vocal when he fucks, whether its grunts or groans or him reminding you how good you feel around him every time you cum.
“Fuck, I can’t wait to fill this omega pussy up,” he pants, his sloppy movements signaling to you that he’s reaching his end. “Feels so fucking good. Didn’t know what I’ve been missing all these years.”
His words ring in your ears, but you’re too fucked out to dissect them now. Instead, you lock them in your mind to explore at a later time.
“Hah, shit!”
Eddie grits his teeth, hips stilling as his fills you once again with his cum. Any remaining ache immediately dissipates once you feel his hot seed inside you, satiating your need for the time being. 
There’s a twitch at the base of Eddie’s cock and you brace yourself for his knot. But Eddie pulls out before he can fully knot you, his chest heaving as he sits back on his haunches. Instead, he grabs your legs and lifts you up until your butt rests against his legs, elevating your lower half.
“This is supposed to help I guess,” he huffs out, his hands still holding your legs by the ankles, his knotted cock twitching against your ass.
“Why…why did you—?”
“Not knot you?” You nod.
“No knotting if the other alpha is waiting their turn. It’s in the contract, remember?”
“Oh yeah…”
Eddie calls out for Steve, waiting for few moments for him to respond. When he got nothing, he called for Steve again. Still nothing.
With a huff, Eddie moved around the contents of your nest until you were elevated without his assistance. He hopped off of the bed and grabbing his boxers, sliding them on over his still hard cock.
“I’m gonna go find him. Just try and stay like that for the ten minutes.”
You waited patiently for the ten minutes, expecting Steve to come in and take his turn with you. But, he didn’t show. You waited another ten minutes just for good measure, but the need to pee took over and you had no choice but to move.
As you opened the bedroom door, you were met with Eddie once again, his fist raised as if he was about to knock.
“Oh, hi,” he said awkwardly. “Sorry that you had to wait.”
“It’s okay. I just have to pee and then I’ll be ready for Steve.”
“Oh, um, Steve’s…not in the mood. So, you’re good to shower or sleep—actually, you haven’t even eaten today. I’ll go make you something to eat real quick.”
Eddie doesn’t give you time to respond before he’s bounding down the stairs, leaving you in the doorway with your mouth hung open.
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Five grueling days later, you wake up feeling…sore. Not in the same way as your heat made you feel sore, but rather in the exact way that you think you would feel after being fucked multiple times a day for 5 days straight. 
Waddling as you move, you pile all of the clothes that you’d stolen from the two men during your heat onto the center of your bed. Stripping the pillow cases and bed sheets, you drag everything down the stairs to start a load of laundry while. 
The house was quiet as you moved around it. A note left for you on the counter from Steve and Eddie said that the both of them went into work today to catch up on what they might have missed during the week. 
Yesterday you wanted to spend alone time in your nest, so you knew that it was your last day of your heat. You’d let the boys know that you’d likely not be cycling anymore so that you all could go back to your normal routine the next day.
Which is exactly how it felt.
You spent the day cleaning, doing laundry, prepping dinner for when Eddie and Steve would come home. Your went through the motions that you had gotten used to in the first two weeks of you being here.
But, you also had time to spend the whole day analyzing everything that had happened during the last week.
Thinking back, there wasn’t anything that came to mind that you could complain about on your end. You’d rationalized everything that happened in that first night; Eddie and Steve had both been a little tipsy. You didn’t notice the alcohol on their breath with the overwhelming smells of their pheromones all around you. But when you recalled the memory with a clear mind, you could definitely smell it on them any time they got close enough to your face.
Sure, the things that happened were off from what the terms of your contract outlined, but most of those terms were made with you in mind. And you didn’t really mind what had happened at all…
But, Steve clearly wasn’t happy. He still had sex with you during your heat, but it was more like how you had expected it to go in the beginning. It felt as clinical as sex could be. You were thankful that he had to cum inside of you, or else you might not have gotten the relief of the ache without it. He also left once he was done, usually sending Eddie in not long after to check on your. 
Sex with Steve felt like you were being used, but you couldn’t fault him for it.
Sex with Eddie was different. 
With Eddie’s talkative nature and inability to filter his thoughts when he was inside of you, you’ve come to the understanding that you might be the first omega that Eddie’s ever been with. You also think that Steve had been around the block a few times before getting with Eddie.
“Now I see what Steve’s talking about.”
“I get why Steve was worried about bringing an omega around.”
“Can’t believe Steve could ever give this up.”
And other things along those lines paint a picture of the relationship dynamic that these two might have when you’re not involved. 
Steve was hesitant from the get go because he knew what he was missing as an alpha being in a relationship with a non-omega. Eddie’s either never been with an omega, or he’s never been with anyone other than Steve.
After coming to these conclusions, your mind couldn’t help but think about them over and over. Was Steve’s reluctance to open up to you because he felt bad about your first time together, or was he putting up a barrier between you to keep any potential feelings at bay?
Eddie certainly didn’t seem to mind. There must have been a discussion between the two of them about making things even when it came to having sex with you. Because Eddie was always eager to jump you, his enthusiasm clear every time you were together. But, it was always either preceded or followed by a less enthused Steve.
As the hours ticked by, the more nervous you began to feel for the arrival of the men of the house. You didn’t want things to be different after everything that had happened. It’s not like any of this was spontaneous. Having sex with each other was the whole point, but you couldn’t get over the feeling that things weren’t going to be okay anymore.
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It was a little after 5:30 when the front door opened for the first time. You didn’t hear it over the radio playing and the loud sizzling of the oil as you seared the steaks for dinner. Your singing along with Madona’s Like a Prayer turned into a loud shriek when you turned and saw Eddie leaning against the counter with an amused look on his face. Your hand flies to your chest as you collect yourself and Eddie almost keels over from laughter at your fright.
“Eddie, you asshole! You can’t scare me like that!” You hit him lightly on the arm with your hand towel.
“I didn’t do it on purpose! I was just enjoying the free concert that I didn’t know was going on in my kitchen.”
“Oh, please,” you say over your shoulder as you return to the steaks. “I didn’t take you as a Madonna guy.”
“I’m not. Only listen to her to appease Steve.” Eddie moves to lean against the counter next to you. You can feel his eyes on you as you flip the steaks around, checking on the twice baked mashed potatoes in the oven, reading over the instructions for the Stove Top.
“If you’re going to hover around me, then you can make yourself useful. Here,” you walk to the pantry and pull out a box of brownie mix, “Why don’t you make sure we have everything we need to make these?”
“We do,” Eddie says, taking the box from you with a smirk. “Everything…except the ingredient that makes them fun.”
It takes a moment for it to click. He laughs at you again as your eyes roll.
“Sounds like a good time in here!”
Steve peers into the kitchen as he pulls his coat off, placing it on the back of one of the island chairs. 
Steve’s presence suddenly makes you acutely aware of how close Eddie is standing to you currently.
“Hey there, handsome,” Eddie cooes as Steve makes his way over to him. Steve leans and kisses Eddie on the lips. It’s a purely innocent kiss between to lovers, but your brain immediately flashes to the other night. The way they kissed each other with so much passion, completely dismissing you in their own pursuit of pleasure.
“Hi, babe,” Steve says between a few more pecks. When he pulls away from Eddie’s lips, he sniffs the air around him dramatically before looking at you.
“Damn, it smells amazing in here. Are you cooking steaks?”
Steve talking to you like he had before alleviated at least 85% of your anxiety over the last week. You nod, smiling up at him proudly.
“Yep, picked them up on sale last time we went to the store. Everything is almost done, too. So I hope you boys worked up an appetite today.”
Dinner went without a hitch, the conversation flowing normally between the three of you. You expected there to not be any mention of the past week, but small things in passing were brought up without any hidden malice or passive aggression. Eddie even mentioned that his coworkers were ragging on him for taking his first week off in years just to get laid. 
After dinner, Eddie insisted on helping you make the brownies while Steve showered. Everything seemed normal as you read off the instructions. Eddie ran around the kitchen to grab you everything you needed.
“...and I’ll need a big bowl to mix everything in.” You were standing against the stove, back to Eddie as you set the oven to preheat. The box was still in your hand as you read it over one more time, not paying much attention to anything else as your head bounced to the low hum of a metal tape Eddie had put on. 
Suddenly, you were being squished against the stove. Eddie’s arm reached out above you, his whole body pressing into yours as he opened the cabinet and pulled out a large mixing bowl. And as if it wasn’t weird enough, he stayed pressed against you as he placed it in front of you. You didn’t know how long he would have stayed like that, only backing away after Steve’s footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs. 
Eddie didn’t touch you like that for the rest of the night, and you didn’t bring it up. And as you laid in bed that night, you couldn’t decipher what exactly had happened. It already felt like how he pushed his body against you was wrong, but you could swear that you felt him…hard against your backside. 
Not wanting to dwell on it, you chalked it up to lingering hormones. It might take a couple days for Eddie to adjust back after sleeping together for the last 6 days. You pushed it into the back of your mind and ignored it until you dozed off for the night.
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thank you for reading.
tagging a few people who might be interested:
@xxhellfirebunnyxx @take-everything-you-can @babygorewhore @myosotisa @munson-blurbs @bimbobaggins69 @chaoticharrington @lonelysatellites @blueywrites @reidsbtch
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shellshocklove · 8 months
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i wanna be your lover | joel miller
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pairing/AU: 70s!pornstar!joel miller x inexperienced!female reader
summary: miserable after losing your job, your friend drags you out to a club to dance away your sadness. on the dancefloor you meet a handsome stranger, who then whisks you away into his fantasy world as his assistant for his porn career. what happens when the lines get blurred?
warnings: this is an 18+ fic so mdni! reader is 23, joel is in his early 30s, swearing, misogyny (bc of the times™), accuracies and inaccuracies about the 70s, drinking of alcohol, smoking of cigarettes (it’s the 70s alright), mentions of a bad previous sexual encounter and losing your virginity, use of pet names, porn (obviously lmao), sextoys, only one bed, oral (f receiving), fingering, praise kink, unprotected sex (don’t do it!!), no use of y/n
a/n: i had fun with this one, but it turned out to be longer than i first intended. i hope people will like it still! also big thank you to @dustydaddyyy​, for proofreading this
main masterlist / series masterlist / ao3
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Under a pink and orange Los Angeles sky, your platforms clicked against the sidewalk. Day left an hour ago, dipping behind the green hills of Laurel Canyon. Walking down The Strip, arms linked with your friend Deborah, the street bustled in the awakening night. Music spilled from clubs and bars, seducing the dressed-up crowd passing by this Friday night.
“Do a little dance, make a little love,”
“This,” Deborah emphasized, coming to a stop outside a club, “is exactly what you need tonight to get your mind off everything.”
She clutched your arm tighter to her body, almost like she was afraid you’d run off, and maybe she had good reason to think you would. You weren’t exactly in the right mood to party. Only a few hours ago, you’d gotten fired from your job. Three years as Mr. Cooper’s personal assistant down the drain.
Mr. Cooper was the creative director, and one of the partners at the advertisement agency where you’d worked. He was an important man, and he’d dealt with all kinds of clients on a daily basis. For you, it had been a learning curve of a job. You had no prior experience as a personal assistant, and it had been intimidating.
You’d only just moved to the City of Angels when you’d gotten the job. With next to no money, having left behind your family and your small town, you were desperate for a job. When you’d seen the ad in the newspaper, left behind on the table of a café near your apartment, you’d stepped out on the sidewalk immediately to find a payphone. During the interview Mr. Cooper had looked you up and down and scowled as he’d read your resume. You’d shrank in your seat under his gaze, but even with your lacking resume, Mr. Cooper had hired you on the spot.
Later, during your first full week at your new job, you’d come to discover why Mr. Cooper had hired you so quickly ­– he’d been desperate for a new assistant. Overhearing some of the other ladies whispering to each other during lunch, you’d been able to piece together exactly why. Apparently, Mr. Cooper and his former personal assistant had been having an affair. He’d gotten her pregnant and wanted nothing to do with her or the baby – he was a married man after all. This was where the story had gotten hazy, and the grape vine sang different songs. One version of the story said he’d forced her to get an abortion and riddled with grief over the dead baby and their failing relationship, she’d quit her job and moved back to her parents in Maine. While the other version of the story said that, rightfully angry at Mr. Cooper for not taking any responsibility over their situation, she’d gone to visit his wife at home to tell her about what’s been going on. Which story was the truth, you don’t know. What you did know, was that Mr. Cooper was still married, and his previous assistant was no longer working for him.
Even if the job had been intimidating at first, you’d quickly gotten used to it. You stayed on top of everything: Mr. Copper’s clients, his calls, his schedule. Ordered flowers for his wife, and even sent boxes of chocolates to his various paramours. You’d made sure the bar in his office was always stacked with his favorite bourbon, and most importantly: you’d made sure to be seen and not heard. It’s what he told you, in the job interview, that he wanted.
You had thought you were doing a good job, but clearly, Mr. Cooper had been laboring under a different impression…
Your day had started like every other day – normal. You’d arrived at work fifteen minutes before Mr. Cooper, like always. Dutifully greeting him with a sweet “Good morning, sir!” at your desk, and served him his morning coffee minutes later. The day continued like normal, occupied with calls and speaking to clients, you had no idea what shocking message you’d receive at the end of your day.
Outside the club, you gave Deborah a meek smile which faded when you saw the line snaking its way down the street, “Sure, but… we’ll never get in.”
“Get down tonight, get down tonight,”
The words of KC And The Sunshine Band traveled through the open club door, the music filled the warm summer air.
“Don’t worry, babes!” she beamed, “I know the owner.” With an overdramatic wink and a giggle, she pulled you towards the bouncer.
“Baby, baby, I'll meet you, same place, same time,”
“How exactly do you know the owner of this place?” you queried, as you passed through the door of the club while the music got louder and louder.
“Where we can get together, and ease up our mind,”
“Let’s just say we had a weekend together…,” she giggled, “and I got to know him very… intimately.”
Your eyes widened at her implications, and Deborah giggled even louder.
“Don’t look so surprised!” she laughed, “I’m all about free love,” she joked, putting up a peace sign.
A heat burned your cheeks. Still, after three years in LA you needed to constantly remind yourself that you weren’t in your small rural hometown anymore. No one was going to arrest you for talking about sex. Nevertheless, the habit was hard to shake, and the roots of the rules you’d grown up with – the ones that had taught you to be the perfect student and the perfect daughter – stayed embedded in your mind.
“So…” Deborah started, her back against the bar while she took her first sip of her Apple Martini. She’d ordered you some fruity cocktail you’d never had before that she swore you’d like. “What exactly did that sad excuse of a man say to you when he fired you?”
With a scrunch of your nose, you turned your attention to your drink, taking a sip. It tasted sugary, but fresh, one of those dangerous drinks where you couldn’t taste the alcohol.
“Let’s not talk about it?” you sighed, shooting Deborah another meek smile.
She returned your smile, but it was full of pity. “You’re right! Let’s not– Let’s forget that fucker,” she said, taking a generous sip of her drink, “you’ll easily get a new job! I know it!” she smiled.
Not soon after Deborah had finished her first drink, a man interrupted your conversation. The man was tall, with black wild hair, pork chops and a matching mustache. He was wearing a flower-patterned shirt tucked into a pair of brown bell-bottoms. The top buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned, revealing dark chest hair and a gold chain. He wasn’t bad looking.
His hand on Deborah’s back didn’t seem to bother her, quite the opposite, she jumped excitedly, throwing her hands around his neck in greeting. You couldn’t hear what he whispered in her ear over the music, but it made her laugh.
“This is Tommy! He owns the club,” Deborah introduced you.
With a friendly smile, you shook Tommy’s hand and introduced yourself. His grip was firm, not like those people that made shaking their hand feel like gripping a dead fish. You decided that it was a good sign.
“So– are ya enjoyin’ yourselves, ladies?” he asked with a charming smile.
“Oh, yes!” Deborah smiled, her painted nails landing on his bicep, “But I think we’d enjoy ourselves even more after another drink.”
With a knowing smile and an easy laugh, Tommy ushered the bartender closer. “’nother round for these two beautiful ladies,” he ordered, “and… they’re drinkin’ on the house for the rest of the night,” he added, sending Deborah a wink.
The bartender served you your second drink just as Tommy convinced Deborah to dance with him. Quickly, she downed her Apple Martini before she turned to you, guilt written all over her face.
“You okay by yourself for a little bit?”
“Yeah– sure!” you nodded, “Go have fun!”
With a sorry smile and a promise to be right back, Deborah left you at the bar, dragged out on the dancefloor by Tommy.
Left to your own devices, you still felt a little awkward. This was supposed to be a girls night. Pushing off the bar, you turned to lean your back against it. You bopped your head to the music, trying to not look so out of place. In your hands, your drink was slippery from the condensation around the glass. Out on the dancefloor, the crowd looked like it moved in slow motion through the blinking lights, bodies twisting their hips and grooving to the beat. You took another sip.
It’s a strange feeling, feeling so alone, while surrounded by a crowd of people. To your, a couple gazed lovingly into each other’s eyes as they passed a cigarette back and forth, a ribbon of smoky white, clouded them in a love fog. They leaned closer, sharing a kiss. You quickly averted your eyes, desperate for something else to rest your eyes on.
Instead, they fell on a man.
You locked eyes with him from across the room. Clad in tight denim he sat casually in a booth in the corner, legs spread slightly. His hand was wrapped around a whisky glass, with a cigarette pinched between his fingers. With a shy smile, you quickly looked away again, eyes back to watching the bodies on the dancefloor. You took another sip of your drink, trying to act casual.
He wasn’t watching you, was he? Why would he? No one usually looked at you twice.
You were no good at this. Flirting. You were painfully awful at it to be completely honest. Too shy to be sexy, and never interesting enough, or pretty enough for a second date.
Your experience with dating didn’t really go further than the few dates you’d gone on with John, from accounting. He’d acted so sweet: opened doors for you, held out your chair, kissed you at your doorstep at the end of the night. He had been a dream. Then on your third date, he’d invited you back to his place for a nightcap. One thing led to another, and soon you were laying under him as he thrusted inside you. It was your first time – and he hadn’t known. It had hurt so much; you’d turned your face away so he wouldn’t see your tears. After, he’d called you a cab, not bothering to even kiss you goodbye. In the office the next day, he’d pretended like you’d never even existed: no more tender kisses, no more door opening, no more smiles. Your dream had turned into a nightmare.
He’d pulled you aside during lunch and told you it wouldn’t work out between the two of you. You were just such different people. You’d deflated like a balloon at his words, sinking into your chair as you watched him walk down the corridor back to his cubicle. To make matters worse you’d overheard him say, to some of his colleges by the watercooler, how awful in bed you’d been. It had been humiliating. And now, every time you as much as attempted to flirt with someone, a bell of shame rang in your ears.
The man couldn’t have looked at you. He’d for sure only looked in the direction of the bar. But something burned your cheek, and you couldn’t fight your eyes from trailing back in his direction.
Dark hair and a tidy mustache. Lips pulled up into a cheeky smile as you locked eyes with him again. He took a drag of his cigarette, and the fire lit up his handsome face. You felt something pool in your stomach. His gaze still on you as he exhaled, challenging you with a raised eyebrow. Again, your cheeks burned, and you had to look away. Suddenly, your own platform shoes looked extremely interesting.
“I remember when rock was young, me and Susie had so much fun,”
The sound of Elton John was the perfect distraction from the alluring stranger. You were sure that if you looked back at him again, you’d only embarrass yourself. You always did. Slurping up the rest of your drink, you pushed off the bar, and headed towards the dancefloor.
“Holding hands and skimming stones. Had an old gold Chevy, and a place of my own,”
Moving your hips to the beat you vanished in the bodies. And soon you were “hopping and bopping” to the Crocodile Rock, singing loudly along with the crowd to “Laa, la-la-la-la-laa”.
The air was clammy and stuffy, and sweat clung to your skin, but you couldn’t find it in your heart to care. You were here to leave your shitty day behind. To dance it away. You moved through the crowd; a smile bright on your face while your feet couldn’t stay still. The handsome stranger in the booth, already forgotten.
As the song faded out, a new song faded in. It was slower. A slightly erotic, but melodic guitar filled the room, accompanied by a luring salsa rhythm. You slowed down your dancing. It felt like you were threading through water.
“Ain't got nobody that I can depend on. Ain't got nobody that I can depend on,”
A pair of hands landed on your hips, making you jump. Behind you, you heard the deep chuckle of a man.
“Relax, darlin’,” he whispered in your ear, moving your hips in time with his.
You leaned back against his body; head tipped back against his broad chest to get a look at the man. Your stranger from the booth. He wore a cocky smirk, but he didn’t come across as full of himself. He was confident. Confident in the way he held your body – big hands splayed over your hips. Confident in the way he danced, like he knew exactly what he was doing, and he did.
“Ain't got no one (no tengo a nadie). That I know of (no tengo a nadie). That I can depend on (no tengo a nadie),”
You let him move your body, turning you around to take your hand in his, pulling you closer to his chest. He smelled like cigarettes and cologne. He’d been watching you, you realized, not the bar. Interested enough in you to follow you out on the dancefloor. It intimidated you, but under the intimidation it also excited you.
He led your movements. You were no dancer, but he made it so easy, spinning you around with ease before pulling you back towards his body. The eye contact was intense, like he was searching for your soul. Santana’s wailing guitar and the stranger’s hand at your waist was the only thing grounding you to the moment.
“I ain't got nobody, that I can depend on (no tengo a nadie),”
The song reached its climactic end. The man spun you one last time before he pulled you tight against his chest. It was like the song’s ending had broken a spell over the two of you, the air of sensuality was gone, and replaced by his genuine smile and breathy laugh.
“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked you over the funky bassline of Eagles’ One of These Nights.
Wide-eyed, “Please,” was the only thing you could utter.
With a hand resting at the small of your back he led you through the crowd towards the bar, where he got the bartender’s attention immediately. 
“An Old Fashioned for me Doug, and…” he looked towards you with a smile.
“Um… a Tequila Sunrise?” you said with a shy smile.
“A Tequila Sunrise, for this beautiful lady,” he told the bartender.
Grabbing one of the bar stools he sat down and gestured for you to do the same. You’d just about sat down before he leaned forward, grabbed a hold of your stool, and pulled you closer to him. A squeal escaped you before it turned into a giddy laugh.
“Thank you, Doug!” he told the bartender when he returned with your drinks.
“On a first name basis with the bartender– you here often?” you asked him, taking a sip of your drink.
“Not as often as I’d liked– it’s my lil’ brother’s club,” he told you, taking a sip of his own drink.
“You’re Tommy’s brother?” you wondered with a frown, a little shocked.
“You know Tommy?” he asked, equally shocked.
You shrugged, “Yes– well… not really.”
He took another sip of his drink, eyes urging you to go on.
“I met him earlier– he’s… well,” you didn’t know how to explain it, “I’m here with my friend Deborah, and I guess her and Tommy are…” you trailed off.
“Fuckin’?” he finished for you, grin wide on his face.
You only nodded, swallowing down another sip of your drink.
“Yeah, I’ve heard all about Deborah…” he trailed off with a look on his face like he knew a secret, “… but nothing about her beautiful friend.”
You huffed out a laugh and turned your head, heat traveling up your neck to your cheeks, “I’m not sure there’s much to know.”
“How about your name?” he suggested.
You turned back to look at him, really look at him.
Had Deborah set him up for this?
You wouldn’t put it past her if she had. She was always urging you to go out with her. To clubs, to parties in The Hills, on double dates. You wanted to go, you really did, but a voice in the back of your head always held you back. You’d thought moving to LA would be the remedy. All alone in a big city would surely help you come out of your shell, right? The harsh reality had been that LA hadn’t magically fixed you. You’d thought you’d be a completely different person here, but you’d packed your insecurities in your baggage. The only person who was gonna help you out of your shell, you’d started to realize… was you.
Putting on a brave face, disguised as a friendly smile, you gave him your name. The man was silent for a moment, nodding as he brought his lips to the rim of his glass again, taking another sip of his drink. It made you hold your breath.
“Pretty name for a pretty girl,” he said eventually with an easy grin. His compliment sent a warmth to your cheeks, while you fought an urge to squinch your face with embarrassment.
After a second of silence, you raised a brave eyebrow at him, “What about your name? Or shall I just call you Tommy’s brother?”
He chuckled lightly, eyes glinting, before he cleared his throat, “Name’s Joel.”
“Joel,” you repeated with a nod, making his cocky smile wider. Tasting his name on your tongue, you decided it sounded pleasant on your lips.
“So– you’re Deb’s friend?” Joel started, to which you confirmed with a nod. “How come she’s never brought you ‘round before?” he wondered with a sip of his drink.
You gave him a relaxed shrug, “I’m not much of a drinker– if I’m honest.”
He leaned forward, like he was about to whisper a secret to you, “You are aware of the fact that you’re in a club, aren’t you?” he teased.
Your mouth dropped open before you playfully rolled your eyes at him, “Shut up,” you said, “I’m not usually much of a drinker… at least not without good reason.”
“So, what’s the good reason?” Joel asked, raising a single eyebrow, “Boyfriend dumped ya?”
“Boss dumped me, actually…” you corrected, “I got fired.”
Joel sucked some air between his teeth, “Ouch… you better get another drink, then.” He turned his body towards the bar to casually raise a hand, getting the attention of Doug.
You let out a scoffing laugh, shaking your head at his teasing tone, “Maybe I will.”
As you finish your Tequila Sunrise, Joel ordered you another one, and one for himself. You felt hot to the touch. The alcohol coursed through your body like liquid courage, it traveled through your bloodstream, greasing the part of yourself where your confidence laid dormant.
“What did you work as?” he asked, sipping his own Tequila Sunrise.
“I am–was…” you corrected, “a personal assistant.”
“A good one?” Joel wondered.
Taking a large sip of your drink, you tried to swallow down your failure.
“You’d have to ask my boss,” you breathed out.
“The one that fired ya?” he returned with a cocky smile, and you fought an urge to roll your eyes.
Sitting up a little straighter you narrowed your eyes at him, “What do you do, then? If you’re so good at your job?”
“Never said I was good at it,” he shrugged, cocky grin not going anywhere.
“You gonna make me ask you again?” you deadpanned, your shyness shedding with every sip of your drink.
Joel looked amused, like he was in on a secret only he knew. You continued to stare at him, raising a challenging eyebrow at his continued silence.
“I’m an actor,” he confessed.
You couldn’t hide the impressed look that crossed your face. Sure, you’d been in LA for three years, he wasn’t the first actor you’d met, and he for sure wouldn’t be the last, but it was something about the way he said it.
“A good one?” you used his own words against him, making him chuckle.
He took another sip of his drink, “I’d like to think so,” he smiled, looking at you over the rim of his glass.
“Anything I’d know?” you wondered, watching him put his glass down.
The corners of his mouth twitched into what looked like an ironic smirk, “God, I kinda of hope not,” he said, eyes trailing the scratches and dents in the dark wood of the bar.
You both went quiet, as you sipped your drinks. You’d started to wonder if you’d maybe said something wrong, when Joel cleared his throat.
“Not to mix business with pleasure–” he started, turning towards you, mouth twitching again at the innuendo, “but I happen to be looking for an assistant.”
“Oh, really?” you deadpanned, convinced he was pulling your leg.
“You don’t believe me?” he breathed out a chuckle.
“Let’s see: a strange man dances with me in a club,” you held up a finger, “then buys me a drink, then offers me a job? I may not be from around here, but I’m not stupid enough to believe that one.” You laughed with a shake of your head.
As you laughed, it hit you how easily you found it to jest with Joel. Usually, you were the quiet one. The one observing or just listening, always too shy to joke freely, especially with people you didn’t know, but somehow, in this moment you felt free. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was getting fired. Or maybe… it was Joel.
“Well, believe it or not, I ain’t fibbin’… it really depends on how much you need a job,” he took another sip of his drink.
“I just got fired,” you said matter of factly.
Joel gave you an infuriatingly innocent shrug, “Then you better start believing me when I say I’m looking for an assistant.”
You couldn’t do anything other than scoff in disbelief. “So what?” you asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow, “You’re just gonna offer me a job after knowing me for barely an hour? No interview or nothing?”
“Do I need to be interviewin’ ya?” he wondered innocently.
“It’s a job!” you spluttered, “You always interview people before you give them a job!”
He gave you a nonchalant shrug. “Then I guess I will… so what can you tell me about yourself? What makes you a good assistant?” he asked, tone genuine as he placed an elbow on the bar counter and rested his head in his hand.
“I don’t mean now!” you let out in a nervous squeak, and Joel seemed to enjoy the way you shifted nervously in your seat.
He shrugged, “Alright then… you got time for coffee? Say… tomorrow mornin’?”
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Ten to ten the next morning you met Joel for coffee.
Wanting to give him a good and professional impression – he could be your new employer after all ­­– you’d worn your brown three pieced suit with a purple paisley shirt under your suit vest. It made you feel strong– well usually, right now you couldn’t seem to shake the pre-interview nerves… Anyway, you were hoping your outfit would make Joel think you had your shit together – at least put together enough for him to hire you.
With eyes scanning the café, you found him at a table by the window, smoking a cigarette. When you approached him, heels clicking against the hardwood floor, he checked his watch.
“Ten minutes early!” he remarked with a grin.
“Reliability and punctuality are good qualities in a new employee, I’ve heard.” You shot him a shy smile before you placed your bag on the floor by your chair.
He hummed, watching you with an easy smile as you sat down opposite him while shedding your jacket. The white smoke danced in front of his face like coiling ribbons. Clad in a striped polo with a Johnny collar he’d tucked into a pair of Levi’s jeans, he relaxed in his chair, shifting slightly, and spreading his legs wider. The movement, like a reflex, drew your eyes to his lower half. His Levi’s were tight, held in place by a big western belt buckle, but it wasn’t his belt buckle that caught your attention.
“So…” he started. His voice startled you, and you flicked your eyes back to his face. His playful smile told you he’s caught you checking him out. Embarrassed, you looked past him, not daring to make eye contact as you fought the urge to cringe.
“How are ya?” he took another drag of his cigarette, blowing the smoke out the side of his mouth.
“I’m–I’m good thank you,” you gave him a nervous smile, the confidence from last night gone with the rise of the sun, “how are you?”
“I’m good too, sweetheart,” he nodded, “wanna have this interview…? Or should I just tell you now you’re hired?”
Perplexed, your eyebrows met in a furrow, “What do you mean?”
“Honey, I already decided last night I’d hire you,” he grinned with another drag of his cigarette.
“I–… I mean are you sure?” you stuttered, “I brought my resume and references and everything– don’t you want to take a look at them?” you wondered, a hand dropping to your bag to fish out your newly typed resume and references. You tapped the papers against the table before placing them neatly in front of him.
Retracting your hands, you rested them in your lap, while you watched him. He placed his cigarette in his mouth before he picked up your resume. His eyes scanned the paper, his head nodding slightly.
“Graduated high school in 1970… A year as a cashier at Piggly Wiggly…” he started listing, his cigarette dipping with each word, “A year at Greasy Motors?”.
“Um– yes!” you peeped, “It’s my uncle’s garage shop– I worked as their secretary,” you told him, picking at the skin around your nails.
“You any good with cars?” he asked, one eyebrow raised as he took one last drag of his cigarette.
“No–No not really… I just spoke to the customers, answered the phone and stuff like that.”
You’d wanted to learn some of the basics, but you’d quickly given up. None of the guys had taken you seriously, and they had made sure to let you know where your place was – it was not with your hands deep in an engine.
Joel hummed at your answer and stubbed out his cigarette. “And Mr. Cooper’s the one that fired ya?” he asked.
You gave him a short nod. Your pointer finger burned with pain as you pulled at a piece of skin you’d picked loose around your nail.
“Why?”,
“The honest answer?” you sighed, and he nodded.
“I don’t know,” you told him, “he just called me into his office at the end of the day and told me he was gonna have to let me go– I was honestly too shocked to ask him why.”
“Oof,” Joel frowned.
“Yeah,” you sighed, you didn’t know what else to say.
“Well… you’ve given me a great impression, both last night and right now, so you’ve got the job, sweetheart– if you want it.” He leaned back in his chair, letting your resume fall from his hands.
“It can’t be that easy, can it?” the words fell from your lips before you had time to think. Joel raised a curious eyebrow at you. “I mean what’s the catch?”
“There’s no catch.”
He seemed to think about it for a beat, “Unless there is…” Joel’s lips tugged at the corners as he leaned over the table, “Remember I said I was an actor?” he asked, eyes boring into yours.
You gave him a skeptical nod.
“I’m an adult actor…” he lowered his voice, “You understand?” he asked before he leaned back in his seat again.
An adult actor. Your eyes widened with realization.
“Wait… you mean,” you looked around you before you leaned forward over the table like he’d just done, “you’re a pornstar?” you whispered, feeling your cheeks start to burn with embarrassment.
“Is that a problem for you?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
Was it? Was it a problem for you?
The question tugged at the back of your neck. Tugged on your childhood, on your upbringing. You’d escaped; had your own apartment now, made your own money. You were trying to come into your own, to finally be your own person.
With teeth digging into your bottom lip, you looked at Joel. He watched you expectantly, head tipping slightly to the right as he studied you. There was no malice in his eyes, and nothing about him seemed grimy or obscene… Nothing about him screamed pornstar. If someone like him could do something so… unusual, for a job, maybe wasn’t so bad.
“No,” you decided, “it’s not a problem.”
“Groovy!” he grinned, “I’ll have my manager draw up a contract for you.”
And just like that you were officially Joel Miller’s, aka the infamous Joel Packer, personal assistant.
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Joel sat on the tiled steps outside his house, smoking a cigarette, when you pulled up to the curb. He perked up when he saw you, grabbing his worn leather duffel bag before he waltzed down his driveway.
“Cab for Miller?” you joked through the rolled down window, ducking your head to peek up at him.
He chuckled at your joke, pinching his cigarette between two fingers for one last drag, before putting it out with a twist of his shoe. The smog laid low over LA this morning, like a blanket. It was gonna be a long day, and a long drive.
Letting out a small grunt, Joel got in your car. The smell of cigarettes and cologne – the smell of him – filled the space between you. He twisted around tossing his duffel bag into the backseat, and your eyes couldn’t help but land on his bicep, watching the way his muscles flexed under the weight. You felt a sudden urge to roll down the window a little further.
When he turned back around, the smooth wood of your steering wheel looked extremely interesting.
“Thanks for drivin’, sweetheart. My car’s still in the shop for ‘nother few days.”
The corner of your mouth twisted into a small smile, “No problem, Joel.”
“Are we all set?” he breathed out his question before his hands landed on his thighs with a dull smack!
“Um, yes, it’s just…” you turned to look at him. He was dressed casually in jeans and a Steely Dan concert tee – All-American Tour ’74 – with his yellow tinted pilot sunglasses tucked into his neckline.
“Just what, sweetheart?”,
“I picked up a package for you– it’s in the backseat,” you cocked your head in the direction.
“What is it?” he twisted back around, one hand searching for the cardboard box behind his seat.
Even in the smoldering LA heat, you couldn’t help but feel your cheeks heat up. “Um… it’s your package.”
“Yeah, I got that, honey– but what is it?” he asked again, twisting his hand back and placing the cardboard box in his lap.
You let out a small whine, “Don’t make me say it Joel– it’s your package.” You gestured a hand over your nether region.
Joel looked at you with a mischievous smile spreading across his face, “Oh, now I really wanna hear you say it,” he teased, hooking his finger under the tape.
“It’syourdick,” you said quickly, “–the dildo.”
In another step towards furthering Joel Packer’s success, he’d been asked to model for a sextoy. It’s no surprise he’d been asked. With the women’s liberation movement gaining more and more followers every day, more women had been exploring their own sexuality. Joel was popular with both men and women. He was like a chameleon when it came to porn. He knew just what to give, whether that would be hardcore porn, tossing his scene partners around and making them come until they couldn’t anymore; or doing full frontal nudity for a centerfold for Playgirl. 
With a drag of the tape, Joel laughed, his shoulders shaking. “I can’t believe you’re still shy about that stuff, sweetheart. You’ve been workin’ for me for how long now, huh? And you still can’t say dick to my face– what do you say to my business partners? Wiener?”
“I’m not shy,” you denied rather unconvincingly, making him shoot you an unimpressed look making you flutter. “I don’t know… it’s just different saying it to you!”
“Why?” he asked, pulling out the box with the dildo he’d modeled for.
Your eyes followed his hands, running over the pink packaging, the handsome photo they’d used of him on the front.
“I-I don’t know… it just is.”
A smile tugged on the corners of his mouth as he hummed – not convinced. Instead, he opened the box, pulling out the sextoy. The company had sent him one before they’d hit the shelves at the end of the month. They were being advertised in Playgirl first – to build up the hype. The sextoy looked exactly like him, and at the same time, nothing like him. The size and shape were true to life (8 inches like they’d advertised on the box), but the color was wrong.
“This is so fuckin’ weird,” he laughed, turning it in his hand, “’s this what I look like?”
“The color looks wrong,” you pointed out. He looked over at you for a beat and then back to the sextoy.
“’s a little… plastic-y,” he commented, “and weird lookin’ without the balls…”
He put the dildo back in the box before he handed it to you. You shook your head and turned the car key, “Just put it back in the backseat.”
“No, ‘s not what I meant,” he nudged your arm with the box, “you have it.”
You were glad the car stood still because the shock of his words would’ve made you get in a car accident.
“Why?” you said, a little flustered.
“Exactly what do women do with a dildo, I wonder?” he teased, nudging your arm again.
“No, Joel, that’s just weird– you’re my boss.” You nudged him back before you put the car in drive.
“You prefer the real thing, then?” a teasing lilt still wrapped around his words.
“Shut up,” you huffed, focusing on driving instead.
“I’m just messin’, sweetheart!” he laughed and threw the box messily behind him.
Leaning forward, Joel pushed the play button on your car radio. The cassette deck whirled before a twangy sound of piano filled your car as you started cruising down the road. A few seconds later Joni Mitchell sang the opening lines of the title track ‘Court and Spark’.
“I need you in charge of the map,” you broke the silence between you after a few minutes, “I don’t know where the house is.”
He opened your glove compartment, pulling out your map of California. You focused on the road while he studied the map.
“Looks like we need to get on the 101– it should take about three hours, Ronald said.”
You hummed. Ronald was Joel’s manager. He’d represented Joel for as long as Joel’s been in porn. Ronald was sleazy, and gross, and you tried to only be in his presence when it was absolutely necessary. Unfortunately, for you, Ronald was a good manager, and the reason why Joel Packer was as popular a pornstar as he was.
“When we get to Pismo Beach we’ll just stop and ask around for the address.” Joel said, folding the map.
Usually, Ronald was the one who came along to set with Joel. His reasoning being that there was business to attend to, and that he was supportive of his client, but you knew the real (pervy) reason. You on the other hand had only come along to set a few times. Quick to embarrassment, you’d quickly hid yourself away in Joel’s dressing room, claiming you had work you’d neglected to do.
This time, Ronald couldn’t make it because of scheduling conflicts. Joel was gonna go alone, but then his car had broken down on the 405. He needed a ride, and who else to ask other than the person he paid to help him out. The shoot was taking place at a beach house somewhere in Pismo Beach. You’d never been to Pismo Beach before, and neither had Joel. The booking agent had told you it was nice enough and secluded. Perfect for shooting a porno without bringing too much attention. 
Three hours later, you and Joel arrived at the shoot. The beach house was busy and filled with people working like ants to get the film set ready. The shoot was scheduled to last for one day, and as the time flew past 10am, you were starting to get short on time.
As soon as you stepped inside, they ushered Joel straight to make-up and wardrobe. Careful not to be in anybody’s way, you took a look around the house. It was beautiful. Newly built, not more than ten years old you guessed, and right on the beach. Warm wood tones lined the walls and floors, and on the ceilings, sturdy beams met in the middle. A leather couch with matching chairs was turned towards the big floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the beach, and a cowhide rug decorated the floor. They’d set up a step ladder by the windows, all ready for the first scene.
You found Joel a moment later in one of the bedrooms sitting, in a chair as he got his make-up done. You noticed he’d already changed into his costume. A pair of overalls with nothing underneath, and a toolbelt hanging from his hips.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he greeted, his eyes trailing your body.
“Hi,” you smiled, “How you feeling? Can I get you anything?”
He looked at you, a pregnant pause passing between the two of you, “No, not right now.”
“Oh, okay!” you nodded, teeth catching your bottom lip, “Just let me know if there’s anything.”
You moved over to the bed where his clothes were spewed across the bedding. Trying to make yourself useful, you picked them up to fold them.
“D’you know if Tess is ready?” you heard him ask.
Tess was Joel’s scene partner for the day, and also his most frequent scene partner. They’d been in more films together over the past years than you could count, their chemistry always electric. Everything they did was just hot, and this time would be no exception. Tess was playing a neglected housewife all alone in her big beach house until carpenter Joel arrived to help her feel less alone with his tool(s).
“Um, no… I haven’t seen her at all– but I can go find out if you want?” you said, placing his folded t-shirt neatly on the bed.
“No, bless your heart, it’s okay,” he spoke slowly, watching the make-up artist pack up her things before telling him he’s all set.
Left alone with Joel he spoke again, “You gonna watch today?”
His question kicked your heart into gear, stuttering along like a teenager who can’t drive stick. “I-I don’t know yet,” you folded his jeans, “… do you want me to?”
You felt him move closer, but he didn’t answer you. Gathering your courage, you met his eyes. He was watching you with a soft look in his eye, a look he’d sent you more and more often lately.
Grabbing your wrist, his calloused fingers like a warm bracelet, he took his jeans from your hand and placed them down next to his t-shirt.
“I’d like that.”
He said it with a smile, and you couldn’t do anything other than nod.
Joel had started to make you feel lots of things lately. Warm fuzzy feelings bubbled under your skin, just like the warmth from his hand on your wrist right now. Joel was a flirt, cocky and confident. Your complete opposite. You weren’t as shy as you’d been at the start of your job, but you couldn’t help but still be shy around Joel sometimes. Especially when he smiled at you the way he was right now, or when you felt his touch on your body.
The first scene they shot was the intro. A cheesy scene where Joel got invited into Tess the housewife’s home. One too many innuendos about ‘tools’ later, you’d slipped away before lunch time to find the catering table, fixing up a plate for Joel and one for yourself. After lunch, the fun began as the director had said. 
“Hey, sweetheart?” Joel’s fingers brushed over the back of your arm, getting your attention. You were about to go sit in his director’s chair, to watch as you’d promised.
“Yeah, Joel?” you looked at him through your lashes, your face curious. You tried very hard to keep them on his face, and not to let them wander to the outline of his hard cock through his overalls.
“Could you go get me some lube?” he asked you, eyes pleading.
“Oh! Um–” you nervously perked up, “Yes, of course,” you nodded, turning around yourself on the spot like you were already on the lookout.
“Thanks!” His hand landed on your shoulder, turning you to focus back on him, fingers rubbed over the material of your shirt. He was smiling at you, a small glint in his eye as he took you in. It made something inside you flutter, your eyes eclipsing over.
“OK guys! Quiet on set!” the director called, pulling you and Joel from your moment. His hand fell from your shoulder, a sorry smile draped across his face.
Slipping away, you went on a hunt for lube. When you came back you were met with the deep grunts of Joel as he got his cock sucked. He was fully naked, standing at the edge of the bed with Tess naked and dutifully on her knees for him – pleasuring him to heaven by the looks of it.
“There you go, baby,” he praised Tess, his big hand entangled in her hair as he pushed himself deeper down her throat. “You like sucking cock, don’t you? Like cheating on your husband like the dirty fuckin’ whore you are, huh?”
You knew he was just reading off his lines, but he said them like he hadn’t practiced at all, it was all so natural. Stumbling backwards towards his director’s chair, you sat down. You felt drawn to the scene before you, caught up in the moment, in the sounds of Joel’s moans and Tess’ spluttering around his cock. Never had you allowed yourself to watch him this openly before – it sent an electric pulse to your core.
Tess gave him head for a few minutes more, filth and praises fell from Joel’s mouth as the cameraman dutifully got every angle. Mesmerized by the scene playing out before you, a small pit started to form in your stomach – a mixture of pleasure and… jealousy. You shifted in the chair at the thought of you on your knees for him instead, pleasuring him and pulling those moans from his lips. Wondering if the praising words he told Tess, would sound different if it was you he told them to instead. You didn’t realize how caught up in the sight in front of you until you heard someone call your name.
It was Joel.
Shaking yourself from your fantasy daydreaming, you pulled yourself together. They’d changed positions while the cameraman changed the film. Joel was now sat on his knees on the bed with his cock standing to attention. On her back, he had Tess’ legs parted and splayed open in front of him.
Why was he talking to you?
He called your name again, figuring you hadn’t heard him over the humming of conversation now filling up the set. You hopped off the chair and nervously scurried over to him.
“What’s up?” you whispered. Your eyes were glued to his face, not daring to glide them even an inch downwards.
He hooked his fingers around your thumb. On his face he was wearing the widest grin, “Could you grab me some water?”
His touch sent your brain into overdrive, your eyes blinking around his question, “Y-yes– I’ll be right back.” His touch fell, and you scurried away to find him some water before they started filming again.
Back, and with a bottle of water in your hand you allowed yourself one quick look at his naked body. His broad chest, the way his muscles moved underneath his tan skin. Your eyes raked over his body, down his stomach, trailing the happy trial down to his impressive cock.
“Okay, everybody– we’re all set!” The loud voice of the director made you jump. Joel handed back the bottled water, a rough hand wiping the corner of his mouth.
“Thanks, sweetheart.”
If he’d clocked you checking him out, he didn’t show it. Instead, he got ready while you made your way back to his director’s chair. Tess said something you couldn’t quite catch, but it got his attention. He grinned from ear to ear, a quick look in your direction, before he playfully shook his head at her.
The next scene had you squirming in your seat.
With his head between her legs, Joel used both his mouth and fingers to pleasure her – and Tess was clearly enjoying herself. Her hands were digging into his hair, pushing him greedily down onto her pussy. High pitched, pornographic moans and whimpers escaped her. Joel was clearly enjoying himself too, moaning and groaning into her pussy as he ate her out greedily, making sure to pull every ounce of pleasure from her.
Tess came with a cry, withering breathlessly as she squirmed in Joel’s hold. He held her shaking legs in a tight grip, not letting up his licking and sucking until he’d pulled another orgasm from her. With a breathless laugh she pushed him away, big wide smile spreading as he peppered kisses to the inside of her thigh. You shifted slightly in your seat. An unmistakable wetness had gathered in your panties. You crossed your leg over the other, subtly.
With a tap to her thigh Joel encouraged Tess to turn over. He sat up, resting back on his heels as he stroked his cock languidly. Tess moved onto all fours, arching her back and putting herself on display for him. The camera moved in closer, a watchful eye, as Joel ran a finger through her folds.
“So wet for me, baby,” he said, replacing his fingers with the head of his cock. “This pussy’s been neglected, hasn’t it? ‘s just dying to be fucked.”
He thrusted inside her, burying himself in her pussy, moans and groans falling from both their lips. You felt the air stand still for a beat, before he pulled back and thrusted back inside. They quickly built up a rhythm, skin slap slap slapping, as their moans held the tune. They moved in sync. Joel kept up the pace, hands holding her waist firmly, while Tess met them with a breathy moan. When she gripped the sheets in pleasure, you wondered if it really felt as good as she let on, or if it was all just part of the show.
“Face the camera,” the director interrupted suddenly. He wanted a close up of Tess getting fucked.
Joel slipped out of her, the bright lights catching on his glistening cock. The sight of Tess’ arousal reminded you, and the bottle of lube in your lap, about your insignificancy. Joel quickly slipped back inside Tess, a hand gripping her shoulder as he picked up the pace again.
“Just like that, baby, you feel so fuckin’ good around my cock.”
You felt silly, the reality of what you’d just done settling in. Why on earth would you agree to watch Joel? Pornstar or not, he’s still your boss. Your longing for him to be something else, would never erase that fact.
Disappointment was a heavy rope tying you down. You needed to get out of there before you hurt your own feelings. Sliding out of the chair, you left the bottle of lube. Straightening out your suede skirt, let out a quiet sigh. You didn’t want to look at him, but something drew you to him either way.
You locked eyes immediately, his eyes were dark and intense. He picked up the pace, Tess almost screaming with pleasure underneath him, but his eyes still didn’t leave yours. You couldn’t look away. The world narrowed until the only thing you could see was him.
With a grunt and a firm thrust, Joel came inside her, mouth parted in pleasure and eyes never leaving yours.
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Squeezed into a flimsy plastic chair, feet planted steadily in front of him, Joel sat smoking a cigarette by the pool. Ripples of blue swam across his face, before giving way to the soft warmth of the burning cigarette. He looked deep in thought as you got out of your car, a plastic bag of take-out swinging from your hand. You slammed the door shut, jolting Joel from his thoughts. The evening wind softly kissed your bare arms as you walked across the parking lot to the fenced in pool area.
The shoot had run long and by the time it was over, it was late. Joel was tired, and when he’d suggested you stay at a motel for the night, you’d been quick to agree. Watching the darkening sky, you’d started to dread the three-hour drive back to LA – you’d rather wait for daylight.
Situated right off the main road Joel had spotted a Motel 6 with the neon ‘Vacancy’ light humming. With tired steps you’d walked together towards the lobby, and the lady at the desk didn’t look up from her magazine when you and Joel approached. Behind her, coming through the door to the back office, you heard a laugh track.
Joel turned on his southern charm, “’Scuse me, ma’am.”
The receptionist still didn’t look up from her magazine.
“Do y’all have two rooms vacant?”
With a sigh, the woman looked up at him, peering over her glasses. “We only have one Queen left.” She smacked her lips together obnoxiously as she spoke, a piece of gum visible in her teeth.
Joel looked over at you, one eyebrow raised. Crossing your arms over your chest, you didn’t know what to say. If they only had one room, they only had one room. You tapped your foot restlessly, made a face like you were thinking it over before you gave Joel a short but affirmative nod. He watched you for another beat, before he turned back around to say, “We’ll take it.”
The room was nothing much; a queen-sized bed in the middle of the room, two chairs and a table tucked into one corner, and a door leading to a small bathroom. First thing Joel did was find a place to put his bag. You didn’t have a bag, only your handbag, you hadn’t planned on not sleeping in your own bed tonight. Joel, on the other hand, always brought a change of clothes to set. He’d told you once he didn’t like to leave in the same clothes he’d arrived in.
As you closed in on Joel by the pool you realized he was still wearing his clothes from this morning. He’d told you he wanted to shower, so you’d gone out to get you both some dinner to give him some privacy. Now you wondered if he’d even had his shower.
“Hungry?” you asked, putting the plastic bag down on the round table beside him.
He took a deep drag of his cigarette, watching you through a cheeky smile, “Starvin’.”
“The only thing open was the roadside diner, so I’m afraid it’s greasy burgers.” 
Joel gave you a shrug as you sat down, “Works for me.”
You ate in silence – sloshing coming from the pool and the cicadas hiding in the bushes, filled the air instead. When Joel finished his burger, and started on his fries, he looked up at you.
“So, what’d you think?” he asked you. You were silent for a second, before you looked down at the burger in your hand.
“Er...” you hesitated, not sure what he wanted you to say, “It’s not bad... meat’s a little dry, but–”
Joel interrupted your train of thought with a deep chuckle.
“I meant the porno, darlin’,” he said, using one of the napkins to wipe the corners of his mouth, “not the burger.” A smile pulled at his lips.
“Oh,” you said, and felt your cheeks fire up in embarrassment. You swallowed, buying yourself some time before you gave him a shrug.
“Was good,” you said, clearing your throat awkwardly, “I’m sure your fans will love it!”
“I wasn’t askin’ about them,” Joel said. His gaze felt like it was piercing through you, “Was askin’ you, wasn’t I? Did you like it?”
Despite the desperate embarrassment firing through your veins, you raised an eyebrow. “You’re asking me about porn over dinner?”
“Fair point,” he said with a nod, “You’re deflecting, though.”
A small chuckle escaped you, a smile tugging on the corner of your mouth as you shook your head and looked away for a second.
“What do you want me to say?” you asked him, looking back at him, “It’s porn, I’m human... of course I liked it.”
Bingo.
You can see from the corners of Joel’s smile that he’s happy with that answer, and he lets out an agreeing hum.
“See?” he said, his tone teasing, “Was that so hard to admit?”
“You’re unbelievable,” you said through a small scoff, pushing your styrofoam container away from you as you fell back in your chair.
“I am–… what was your favorite part?”
He was grinning hard now. He dug a hand in his back pocket, fishing out his packet of cigarettes and his lighter. You watched him with your head tilted, waiting for him to let you off the hook like he usually did. Instead, he grinned even wider, small splutters of breathy giggles making the cigarette dip as he tried to light it.
“Gimmie that!” you commanded, reaching out your hand for his cigarette. With a surprised eyebrow he took a quick drag before he handed it over. He watched you quietly as you took a breath. Savoring the first tar-y breath filling up your lungs.
“I liked the way you…” you took another drag and exhaled through your nose, “I don’t know…” you handed him the cigarette.
“I’m waitin’,” he teased, making you playfully roll your eyes at him.
“Well,” you sighed, “I liked the way you’re so attentive and made sure she’s feeling good even though it’s acting and everything… Even when you’re like throwing her around, all in charge and stuff.” You waved away the words.
“Yeah, well, that is the most important part of sex,” he gave you a look. Suddenly, he was a little serious. “It’s not fun if she’s not havin’ fun.”
“Not every guy thinks like that, you know,” you spoke, “it’s really nice that you do.”
Joel hummed at your words before a comfortable silence fell over you. You listened to the buzzing cicadas and the burning of Joel’s cigarette every time he took a drag.
“And… the dirty talk was hot too– you’re good at that,” you mused after a moment, breaking the silence, feeling comfortable enough with Joel to tell him the truth. He doesn’t judge you about what you think was sexy, and you realized it felt nice to open up to somebody, to let your suffocating shame die.
“Now, darlin’,” you could hear the smile in his voice, “now you’re just strokin’ my ego.”
“I can stroke more than your ego.”
Joel choked on his cigarette, coughing around the smoke before he looked over at you with wide eyes. “Am I goin’ crazy, or did you just tell a dirty joke?”
Your giggle filled the air between you before you leaned forward for his cigarette again. You brought it to your mouth as you impishly shrugged. Inside, you buzzed with a fluttery feeling. 
You smiled at him. “I don’t know�� you tell me.”
He playfully narrowed his eyes at you, leaning over the table to get a good look at you, “I’m not sure I’m likin’ this… where’s my sweet girl, huh?”
My sweet girl.
Your heart skipped like stones over water, and you had to look away. A smile blooming across your face. You heard him let out a sweet chuckle before he stood from his chair. The plastic feet scraping ever so slightly against the concrete. You watched him as he stepped before you, squatting down to be at eye level with you, his big hand landing on your exposed knee to steady himself.
“She’s still here,” you whispered after a moment. The cigarette between your fingers was burning out, but your whole body felt like it was on fire, a burning spreading from under his touch.
“I know she is, sweetheart,” he whispered back, his fingers rubbing gently over your skin. Joel looked at you with attentive eyes, “I love how shy you get for me.”
Before you had time to process his words, he pinched the cigarette from your fingers and stood to his feet. “Let’s call it a night?” he asked you, offering up his hand for you to take.
Feeling brave, you took his hand. It dwarfed your own, but it was strong, and warm in your hold. You watched as Joel finished off the cigarette, and stumped it out in the ashtray on the table, before gathering up your trash. You walked back to your room, hands intertwined and swinging between you. You couldn’t shake the thought of how you wished he’d kissed you.
Back inside your room he let you use the bathroom first. It was small, and the air was damp. You could see droplets of water clinging to the shower curtain. Joel did shower after all, he’d rinsed the day off into the drain. With no toiletries, you made do with what the motel offered. A bar of soap was sufficient enough to remove your make-up, but you knew your skin would punish you for it later. After brushing your teeth, you stepped back out where Joel waited for you on the bed.
“I’ve got a spare shirt if you wanna borrow it.” He held up his hand, handing you the clean cotton shirt he’d packed.
“Thanks,” you smiled shyly.
He watched you for a beat, his eyes soft, but tired. “And I’ll sleep in one of the chairs– don’t want ya worryin’ about nothin’.”
Shaking your head, you protested, “No, Joel, you’ve had a long day! I’ll sleep in the chair!”
This time he shook his head, a small chuckle escaping his mouth, “No, darlin’, you’re drivin’ tomorrow, remember? You’ll need your rest.”
Your eyebrows met in a furrow. He was right; you couldn’t do the drive back to LA tomorrow on no sleep, but you couldn’t live with yourself if he didn’t get any sleep either.
“Let’s just…” you trailed off, “You’re tired, I’m tired– let’s both sleep in the bed?” you suggested.
Crawling under the sheets clad in only your underwear and Joel’s t-shirt, you wondered if you were being unprofessional. This was technically a work trip. Joel was still your boss. You looked over at him where he sat on the edge with his back turned, fiddling with the alarm clock. Your eyes trailed over his bare back, tan and strong. You knew you could stare at him all night.
It was official: you’d left professional at the door.
Finally, the alarm clock set for tomorrow morning, Joel put it back on the nightstand. With a quick glance over his shoulder, he caught your eyes on his body. It made him smile.
“Joel? Can I ask you something?”
He got under the sheets, his foot grazing against yours as he got comfortable. “Yeah, sweetheart.”
“Can you turn off the light?”
“You needn’t ask me if you can ask me, to turn off the light,” he laughed, “you can just say ‘Joel, turn off the light’.”
You scrunched your face together. This was coming out all wrong. “No, I mean… I don’t think I can ask you my question with the lights still on.”
He looked you over with a warm smile before he leaned over and turned off the light on his nightstand. “There… what you want to ask me?”
Even bathed in darkness, you hesitated to speak. “Um… I guess…” you started, not knowing how to ask what you wanted to ask. You turned over on your back and stared at the ceiling, cursing the return of your shyness.
Joel waited for you patiently to gather your courage.
“How much… of porn, is fake?” you finally uttered.
Joel turned to his side, facing you, “What do you mean?”
“Like… when– when the girls…” You couldn’t say it.
“Come?”, he helped.
“Yeah,” you breathed out, “is that real or… like– do they actually like it?”
“Right…”
Joel thought about your question, “’s hard to say… I mean mostly it’s real– at least in my experience– like I can feel it around my cock or fingers… but everybody has off days, and not everybody can come from penetration.”
Mostly it’s real. You went quiet, silently thinking about his answer as you stared a hole in the ceiling. Not everybody can come from penetration.
“Why you askin’ me this, sweetheart?” He shifted a little closer.
You pulled your hands from under the sheets, resting them over your chest. Your thumb on your right hand found your thumb on the left where it picked at the skin.
“Huh?”
“I­– I don’t know… it’s silly.”
“No, ‘s not– you’re not silly, sweetheart.” He shifted a little closer, a reassuring hand falling over your own and stopping you from picking at your fingers.
You didn’t say anything, and you didn’t look at him either. You felt silly. You’d just complimented him earlier about how attentive he comes across in bed, and now you’re asking him if any of it was even real. 
“Can I ask you somethin’?” Joel asked, breaking the silence between you.
Nodding your head, you hummed.
“Are you a virgin?”
His question almost made you jump. Suddenly, his previously calming hands over yours felt heavy. A fire started in your cheeks. You were mortified, and it felt crazy. If you were back home right now, you’d be mortified to tell anyone you weren’t a virgin seeing as you were unmarried. Now, with Joel, you felt mortified he thought you were one.
“No,” you peeped. It would’ve sounded like a lie if it wasn’t the truth. “W-what makes you say that?” You finally looked at him, your eyes wide as saucers.
Unconvinced, he gave you a lopsided smile, “How many have you slept with?”
“How many have you slept with?” you mumbled.
“Honey, we both know that I’ve slept with way too many to count.” He said it with a teasing lilt to his voice, and a comforting rub of his thumb over the back of your hand. His small touch was enough to relax you, to bring you back from the ledge of mortification. This was Joel for god’s sake. He would never judge you; you knew that.
“One…” you whispered, “Only one person.”
With a hum, Joel shifted over to lay on his back, but his thumb still rubbed circles over your skin. “So– you’re asking me this ‘cause it was bad?” he mused.
“I don’t know… maybe,” you whispered.
“You don’t know if it was bad– or you don’t know why you’re askin’ me if women enjoy sex?”
“The latter,”
“So, it was bad,” he concluded, before he whispered, mostly to himself.
The silence was back, speaking loudly between the two of you as you both processed what the other had just said. After a beat Joel turned back on his side to face you again.
“Tell me– how bad was it?” He said it softly, a tenderness in his voice you hadn’t heard before.
“It just… it hurt.”
You sighed, and for the first time since the light went out you turned your head to look at him. “John–” your face scrunched up in a grimace as you spoke his name, like you couldn’t believe you were telling him this story. “He worked in accounting, and we were going around, you know? Went on a few dates. He was a sweet guy. After the third date we went back to his place, for a drink. He kissed me– and then we were making out, and during everything I just thought ‘This might as well happen’. I thought I wanted to lose my virginity… and I liked John– so why not. But then he just… pulled off my underwear, didn’t even touch me and… went to town.”
Joel sucked a breath through his teeth, his hand gripping yours a little tighter. “Did you– have you ever had an orgasm?”
You shifted uncomfortably under his question and turned your head back towards the ceiling again. “Yes,” you whispered.
Joel moved a little closer, and you felt your body dip towards him from his weight against the mattress. His hand resting over yours traveled down your arm, and under the sheet.
“By your own hand then,” he said it more like a statement than a question.
You felt your heart beat out of your chest, as something in the air between you shifted. Underneath the covers your body burned. Sucking in a breath, you held it for a moment before you nodded.
“Show me.”
His hand grazed over your waist, fingers dancing over the exposed skin between the hem of his t-shirt and the waistband of your panties. You reveled in it, his touch, his proximity, his gentle kiss to your shoulder. You looked at him, searched his face for any indication that he was just messing with you.
“No? Ain’t feelin’ it?” He’d watched you too, you realized.
He withdrew his hand from your waist, and you panicked, “No!”
He stopped, instead hovering his hand over your body. “No, you ain’t feelin’ it, or no, don’t stop?” he asked you.
You panicked again. “Yes!” you said before your eyebrows met in a furrow, “I-I’m sorry, this isn’t very sexy.”
Joel withdrew his hand from your body, and your disappointment sank like a rock in water, but then he cupped your jaw and you forgot to breathe.
“Forget about sexy, sweetheart,” he told you, a calloused thumb rubbing against your skin, “not that you ain’t sexy– you are, but I need you to relax, okay?”
You nodded, and a smile spread wide across his face,
“Good girl.”
You almost mewled at the praise, and he noticed, a wicked smile spreading across his face.
“You liked that, huh?” he teased, rubbing his thumb softly over your lower lip, “Y’like being a good girl for me?”
You found it hard to think with him so close, breathless when he touched you like this. You nodded slowly; moony eyes fixated on him. Like a reflex, your legs rubbed together under the sheets, aching to relieve the pressure building.
“You’re so sweet, baby­– and shy,” his voice was low, like he was afraid someone would hear him. Slowly he leaned closer, pressing the softest kiss to your neck. A quiet whimper fell from your lips.
You felt Joel’s smile against your skin, teeth nipping as he pressed kiss after kiss to your sensitive skin. “You make my cock so fuckin’ hard.”
“Joel,” you finally choked out, a wet patch already soiling your panties.
“Yes?” he took your earlobe in his mouth, gently biting down on it before letting it go. You couldn’t think – at least not about something that wasn’t Joel and his touch.
“P-please kiss me?” you tried, your hand landing on his shoulder.
His breath puffed against your skin in a small chuckle, before he lifted his face from his new home in the crook of your neck. He found your blown out face, watching you with a tenderness in his eye. A beat passed and then he leaned closer, brushing his lips over yours. Your hand on his shoulder followed his neck to cup his face, keeping him close to you. His hand pushed gently at the sheets, revealing your upper body to him. The kiss was tender and slow, your noses pressed together. He pulled you apart and then put you together again. One of his hands trailed along the hem of your – his – t-shirt where he pushed at the fabric, bunching it just below your breasts. You broke apart.
“Was that all you wanted, sweet girl? Just a kiss?” His forehead touched your own, words low and taunting. You slowly shook your head, eyes still locked with Joel’s. His hand moved methodically, trailing down your stomach until it reached…
Your breath hitched in your throat.
“No?” he asked with a teasing grin, “What do you want then, sweetheart?”.
He already knew. His open palm cupped you over your soaked panties, the breadth of it pressing firmly down on your clit. You mewled under him, hips bucking up to meet his hand.
“Nah-ah,” he lifted his head from your forehead, dark eyes boring into yours. “You need to show me.”
Joel had started a dangerous fire inside of you. It lapped at your insides, burned away your insecurities, and replaced them with lust. With a shaky hand, your hand found Joel’s. His eyes were still locked on you ­– his gaze burning your cheek and branding you his.
“There you go,” he praised, letting you guide his hand up and down your clothed cunt, feeling your arousal seep through the fabric, “good girl.”
You guided him to your clit, pressing the pads of his finger down on it in tight circles. You were so sensitive – on edge since you watched him filming earlier – a small moan fell from your lips.
“Feels good doesn’t it, baby, getting your clit rubbed.”
“Yes…” Joel drew another moan from you.
Your grip around his hand loosened, and Joel took over. With a practiced hand he circled his fingers just right. He started with a steady pace and tight circles, before he put more pressure on your aching bud. He was bringing you closer and closer to the edge, coaxing small whimpers and breathy moans from your lips as you got more and more lost in the pleasure he was giving you.
“Have you ever fingered yourself, sweetheart?” he asked you, dipping his hand beneath your panties. A bold finger ran through your folds, a finger teasing at your entrance.
Your front teeth caught your lower lip, and you had to bite down to suppress a moan. It was hard to concentrate on what he was asking you when he was touching you like that.
“Y-yes, but…” you trailed off, feeling his finger, now coated in your arousal, back on your clit. It made your brain go blank.
“But what, sweet girl?” he pulled his hand from your panties, and you whined.
A wet trail followed him up your stomach. When you made no move to answer, a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. Leaning closer he pressed a short but tender kiss to your lips; his mustache tickled your cupid’s bow.
“It’s too messy,” you said when he pulled back, shaking your head.
“Yeah? You’ve got a messy pussy, sweetheart?”
Joel leaned down again, pressing soft fluttering kisses down your throat. When he reached the collar of your shirt, he pulled at the fabric, exposing your collarbone to his kisses. Your hands found his hair, tethering you to the moment.
“Yes,” you whispered, heat burning your cheeks at the confession he pulled from you.
With a wide grin, Joel sat up. His fingers found the hem of your shirt. He helped you pull it over your head, exposing your naked chest to him. Not even a second later he was back to kissing his way down your body, worshiping you with every press. You burned under him, every kiss like a small death.
Shifting on the bed, he settled between your legs. His mustache tickled the skin on your tummy, making you giggle. You felt Joel’s smile against your skin, at the sound of your fluttering laugh. He let his lips brush over your skin, trailing downwards to the top of your panties where he pressed a kiss, teeth pulling at the small bow like you were a present to be unwrapped, before his fingers hooked around the elastic. With a lift of your hips, you let him pull off your panties. The wet spot in the center clung to your cunt, as he peeled them off.
“Fuck,” he cursed, “wanna taste you, baby, wanna taste that messy pussy.”
With his fingers back on your cunt, you jumped a little under his touch. The air filled with a slick sound of your arousal as he ran them through your folds, a finger teasing your entrance.
“Relax for me baby,” he soothed, gently pressing kisses to the soft skin of your inner thigh, “I’ll take care of you.”
Looking down at him between your legs, you let yourself go. His eyes bored into yours. Warmth and lust, and nothing but affection behind them.
You nodded, “Please.”
A wide grin blossomed across Joel’s face as he leaned down, hovering just above your clit. He ducked forward, pressing the softest kiss to your clit, taking it slow and easing you into it with slow licks. You couldn’t help the whimpers escaping you, a needy sound desperate for more – more Joel. He pinned you down with his arm splayed over your tummy, keeping you right where he wanted you, turning you into a withering moaning mess under him.
Joel continued exploring you with his tongue. Changing between flicking and lapping at your clit, circling it just right, and wrapping his lips around it, giving it gentle sucks. He lapped at your folds, the hook of his nose catching on your clit as he tasted you properly. You felt yourself pushed closer and closer towards the edge, coxed by Joel.
Two careful fingers spread you apart, gliding up and down, coated in your arousal. He easily found your entrance to push a finger carefully inside. You felt yourself clench down on him; you couldn’t help it. You were so sensitive and so close. Dropping your mouth open, a breathy moan escaped.
“Oh, fuck,”
Joel hummed against your pussy, the vibrations traveling straight to the coil tightening in your tummy. Slowly, he started thrusting his finger inside, rewarded by a slick sound, telling him just how wet and desperate you were for him. With a moan your head rolled back into the pillow – you were so close.
“Joel,” you panted.
His tongue continued his assault on your clit, and you lost yourself in him. You clamped down on his finger with every thrust. You didn’t know how much longer you could take it. Joel was so focused on you, so attentive, so responsive. Between your legs he drank in every twist of pleasure and whimpering moan.
“Joel,” you panted again.
“You’re gonna come for me aren’t you, sweetheart? Be a good girl and make a mess on my face.” he coaxed.
Joel quickly withdrew his finger to slip in another, and the new stretch had your legs shaking. His tongue circled your clit, sucking it with just the right amount of pressure. Underneath him you squirmed, breathy moans hitching in your throat.
“Oh, god,”
You couldn’t answer him. Couldn’t think straight. Couldn’t take it anymore.
With a silent cry, you came. His strong arm over your tummy held you down, as you twitched against the mattress, legs shaking. You’d never felt anything like this before. A pleasure so all-consuming you couldn’t remember your name, or where you were – only Joel. He helped you through it. His fingers kept up their pace, pads brushing right up against that spot of bliss, as you clenched down hard around them. You gripped the sheets, desperate for a lifeline as you came down.
Joel slowed down his fingers, pressing soft kisses to your clit. Your pleasure turning to overstimulation – now you definitely couldn’t take it anymore. Fragile and sensitive, you pushed him away with a shaky hand.
He let you push him around, his lips finding the inside of your thighs instead, where his mustache teased the sensitive skin. With one last kiss, Joel pulled away. You almost didn’t register the dip in the mattress as he laid down beside you. You were somewhere else entirely, floating away on a post-orgasm-cloud.
“Joel, shit, I…” you tried to speak, your voice hoarse with exhaustion.
“I know, sweetheart,” Joel answered. He pulled you closer, wrapping a hand around you. Slowly, you turned to your side, engulfed in Joel’s embrace.
“D-did you want to–”
You could feel the presence of his hard clothed cock pressed against your ass, but his big safe arms around you told you a different story. He nosed at the back of your neck, pressing fluttering kisses to the skin, making goosebumps erupt.
“No, darlin’, not tonight,” his voice was just above a whisper, the bass vibrating against your ear.
“Are you sure­? I-I mean– we can if you want to,” you spluttered. He’d just given you the best orgasm in your life, he shouldn’t have to go to bed without one for himself.
“Not tonight,” he said, pressing a kiss behind your ear, “It’s been a long day– I’m tired, you’re tired­… let’s just sleep, my sweet girl.”
“S-should we talk about this?” you asked, your hand slipping into his, pressing it against your naked chest.
“In the mornin’,” he hummed, voice coated in sleep.
With heavy eyelids, you fell asleep in Joel’s arms. The safety of being wrapped up in him, lulled you into a peaceful slumber. The motel bed was hard and uncomfortable, and the pillow thin and flimsy, but it didn’t matter in Joel’s arms.
Morning came too quickly, and with a screeching sound of an alarm clock that pulled you from heaven. Jolting awake behind you, Joel groaned. His hands slipped from your body; the warmth exchanged with prickling goosebumps. You shifted over on your back, watching as Joel turned off the alarm. The beeping stopped, and with a tired grunt Joel laid down back beside you. When he looked at you – his tired eyes glinting – a sleepy smile pulled at his lips.
“Mornin’,”
“Good morning, Joel” you smiled back.
“It is a good mornin’, isn’t it?” he hummed, turning on his side.
You mirrored him, shifting closer and resting your head on his pillow. He snaked a hand over the dip in your waist, big hand splaying over your naked back.
“It is,” you agreed, locking eyes with him.
Rubbing in slow circles, his hand on your back was soothing. You reveled in it, reveled in Joel, in the bliss of being so close to him. You shifted even closer, resting your forehead to his chest.
“You should probably fire me,” you mumbled into his skin, “I’ve been extremely unprofessional.”
A chuckle came from deep inside Joel, it vibrated through his skin, where you felt it under your fingertips.
“I ain’t firin’ my best employee,” he laughed, placing a dry kiss to the top of your head.
You pulled away with a frown, head back on your own pillow. “This is like the cliché of clichés, Joel– sleeping with your assistant…”
In the bright light of the day, you cursed yourself for your late-night moment of weakness. You’ve never done anything like this before. What if this will be all that Joel wants from you from now on? You don’t think your heart could take it if it was.
Joel’s laugh died in his throat, his eyebrows meeting in a frown. “Who said anything about sleepin’ with my assistant?”
Your eyes widened with mortification. Shit. A hand came up to rub at your face, as you sat up, pulling the sheets around you.
“Hey, no, sweetheart,” Joel grabbed at your hand, stopping you in your tracks.
You couldn’t look at him – afraid tears would push behind your eyes. He’s a pornstar, what were you thinking? You were just a girl. A girl to warm his bed for a night. How could you put your job on the line for something like this?
The sheets rustled as he shifted closer, “Please, lay down, I need to talk to you.”
“Joel, I-I’m sorry– w-we can just forget about it– I’ll quit, don’t worry about it– me, don’t worry about me,” you stuttered out, your back still turned.
“I ain’t forgettin’ about nothin’, sweetheart– shit, d’you think I do this often?”
His question made you turn around. He was propped up on his elbow, carefully watching you.
You nodded, and he sighed.
“It’s been years since I’ve slept with someone outside of work,” he confessed, “Shit, I don’t even seek it out, I ain’t interested in it.”
“I-I’m sorry Joel, I­–” you started, but he cut you off,
 “You’re not listenin’,” he shook his head, “what I’m sayin’ is: I wanna sleep with you.”
Your face scrunched up in a confused frown, “Because I’m someone from work?”
Joel let out a breathless chuckle, “No, sweetheart, ‘s because I think you’re beautiful.”
His words almost didn’t register.
“What?”
This time his laugh is loud and golden, coated in happiness. He pulled at your hand, and you fell, your back hitting the sheets.
“You are…” he emphasized, cupping your cheek, and guiding you back in his embrace. “And you’re a shy little thing, aren’t you? But so smart, and kind, and caring­– someone you can’t help but fall in love with.”
“Fall in love with?” you repeated, you couldn’t believe what he was telling you.
“Yeah, sweet girl,” he smiled at you, all teeth, and crinkles around his eyes in the morning light.
“Oh,”
“Yeah,” he laughed, guiding your face closer to his, his lips brushing over yours, “wanna make you mine, sweetheart.”
His kiss stole your breath and twisted you up inside. He licked at the seam, and you opened yourself to him. He licked into your mouth, one arm snaked around your body, drawing you closer, pulling whine after desperate whine from you and stealing your breath.
Landing on your hip, his hand traveled downwards – over the thick of your thigh, and down the inside in smooth motions. He tugged on your leg, pulling it to rest over his hip, his hard cock rutting into your bare heat. His kiss got more desperate; his tongue melded with yours. It was hot, and dizzying and all-consuming all at the same time.
You grinded against him, feeling his hard cock against you. The fabric of his underwear caught on your clit, rubbing it just right, your arousal darkening the fabric. You moaned into his mouth, a desperate need for Joel building deep in your stomach.
With a rut of his hips, he broke away from your kiss. “You want me to fill up this perfect little pussy, don’t you baby?” His hand on your cheek disappeared between your bodies.
“Yes,” you tried to say, but the words got stuck in your throat when you felt the head of Joel’s cock rub up and down your folds. Your heavy breathing, the slick sound of your arousal the only sound in the room.
“Listen’ baby, y’hear how wet you are for me?” he whispered in awe, the head of his cock caught on your clit. You braced yourself with a hand to his shoulder, breathy pants the only sounds leaving your lips.
“You’re desperate for it, aren’t you?” he chuckled. He let go of the grip around his cock, the sound of it slapping against his stomach obscene. A beat later he swiped his fingers through your folds, coating them in your arousal before drawing tight circles to your clit.
Your face squeezed shut in pleasure, your fingers dug into his shoulder. He eased a finger inside, before he quickly pulled out and added another. The stretch of his fingers was easy, your arousal dripping over his knuckles as he thrusted them inside with ease.
You grinded down on his hand, meeting his thrusts, forcing his fingers deeper inside. Always so attentive, Joel curled his fingers where they hit your spot perfectly, just like he’d done last night. A breathy squeal fell from your lips.
“That’s it, sweetheart, let me hear you,” he egged you on.
“Joel, please,” you panted. Sparks traveled through your body, collecting in a pit in your stomach where it coiled in on itself, aching for release.
He curled his fingers again, and hit your spot – his palm snug against your throbbing clit, “Fuckin’ perfect you are, darlin’, so tight and wet around my fingers.”
“Shit,”
He pushed you straight for the edge, your walls fluttered around his fingers. Your panting got heavier, your eyes squeezed shut, you’re so close. Joel chuckled, his breath puffing your face and he… pulled away.
You whined at the emptiness, opening your eyes to see him staring at you with a mischievous glint in his eye.
He cupped your jaw, “Poor baby,” he pouted before he pulled you in for a kiss. You sighed into him, desperate to feel him anyway he wanted.
“Turn around,” he ordered against your lips, his hand letting go of your jaw to tap at the top of your hip.
You did as he told you, turning around in his hold to press your ass against him, feeling his hard cock pressed against you. Behind you, you heard him let out a deep and guttural groan. His hand hooked under your thigh, lifting it to your chest and exposing your wet and desperate cunt for him. You let him manhandle you into the position he wants, trusting him to know what’ll feel the best.
He guided the tip of his cock through your soaked folds coating it in your arousal before grazing it over your throbbing clit.
“You ready, sweetheart?” he whispered in your ear, like a hiss. He lined himself up with your entrance, teasing you, and himself.
“I-I need it, Joel, please,” you begged, a hand clinging to the sheets.
“Yeah? You need it, sweetheart? Need this big cock to fill you up?” he asked, pushing just the tip inside.
“Joel, please, please,” you whimpered, almost a squeak. In one fluid motion he pushed inside, burying himself to the hilt inside you. The stretch of him was overwhelming, but the angle had you seeing stars.
“Ah– fuck,” you cried, your eyes immediately squeezing shut. Your hand searched for his where it held your leg to your chest. You needed to anchor yourself to him, afraid you’d fall apart right there and then.
“You alright sweetheart?” you heard him whisper in your ear, and you nodded slightly, “Feel good?”
“Yes, Joel,” you whimpered, mouth dipping open in pleasure. 
Behind you he groaned into your ear, cursing in hushed whispers. “That’s it, good fuckin’ girl, takin’ all that cock inside,” he pulled out nearly all the way, taking his time with it, moving with practiced motions.
“Shit,” you mewled as he bottomed out inside for the second time. Grinding against your ass, he pushed himself as deep as he possible could – you felt him in your fucking stomach, he was so deep.
“You can take it, sweetheart,” he told you, pulling out and thrusting back inside.
Picking up the pace, Joel started fucking into you deep and hard. With each grind of his hips against your ass, with every thrust, he made sure to bury his thick cock as deep inside as he could, angling his cock expertly so the head rubbed up against your spot. Behind you he grunted and moaned in your ear. It was sweaty and hot, and sticky between your legs.
He let go of your leg, ordering you to press it to your chest, as his hand traveled downwards to brush his fingers over your throbbing clit.
“Joel,” you mewled. He pulled a symphony of whimpers and moans from you with every thrust.
“This pussy’s so fuckin’ tight– shit,” he panted in your ear, “You’re so good for me baby, takin’ that cock so well.”
His fingers pressed down on your clit, drawing tight circles, pushing you towards the edge of bliss. You squirmed against him, hips meeting his with every thrust as you start to chase your fast approaching orgasm.
“Need you to come for me, sweetheart– squeeze that cock like a good girl.”
“Joel,” you cried and let go. Your walls fluttered around his cock as you came, back arching off his chest, as your body squirmed and shook in his arms. Breathy gasps and pathetic whimpers left your lips as he kept up his unrelenting pace, fucking you through it, and prolonging your high.
You were far away. Blissed and fucked out as you came down from your moment of ecstasy. Behind you Joel’s grunts bordered on desperate, as his thrusts started to become sloppy.
“Shit, sweetheart– m’close, so fuckin’ close.”
“Come for me Joel,” you pleaded.
“Fuck,” he grunted as he pulled out.
His hand was on you in an instance, pushing you to your stomach as he turned you around. He knelt over you, fisting his cock desperately. Turning your head, you pushed off the bed to look over your shoulder where you found his eyes, locking them with his. Joel came with a guttural moan, the muscles in his stomach tightening and loosening as he coated your ass in his cum. It was hot and sticky on your back, feeling it drip slowly down the side of your waist.  
“God damn,” he breathed out through a chuckle. His breath was heavy, like he’d just climbed ten stories.
You turned to your side to look up at him properly. He looked beautiful; his hair messy from sleep, broad chest heaving, a content smile pulling at his lips as you gave him a smile.
“Took the words straight out of my mouth.”
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i hope you liked this! part two -> here
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3K notes · View notes
rowarn · 8 months
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okay i'm back to expand on toxic situationship simon vs smitten golden retriever könig fighting for ur attention!!!
when simon first met you, he had no intention of interacting with you let alone "dating" you. but it just kind of....happened. you had a way of worming your way into his thoughts and his life.
the problem was that he was not build for a relationship. he had problems. a lot of them. he wasn't the type to work on himself, he was the type to find distractions to cope with the mess that was in his head at all times.
the closer you tried to get to him, the further he pulled away. but then when you backed off, he remembered he needed you as a distraction. so he'd rein you back in only for the cycle to continue.
he ignored how much it hurt you, how sometimes your eyes would swim with tears when he gave you the cold shoulder and told you to leave him alone. it wasn't like you understood what was going on — simon refused to open up and tell you that he was just...fucking messy in the head. instead, he just let you think he was some sleazy douchebag who used you for a quick fuck only to toss to the curb when you annoyed him.
part of him wondered (but didn't care bc it benefited him) why you kept coming back after how much he hurt your feelings. but when he wasn't being an intentional jackass to get you to leave him alone for a week or two, he was a great guy. a gentleman. he spoke to you with a soft but not condescending tone and was patient even when you asked stupid questions. when he had you as his distraction, he enjoyed your company and you enjoyed his — only for him to turn around and spew vitriol out of left field.
it was during one of the times he had chased you off that you met könig. on an elevator of all things. the entire mechanical box shuddered with his weight and you were downright shocked as the hulking mass of him ducked to step in.
when you asked what floor, he spoke with a quiet, almost nervous tone to tell you. as you rode the elevator down, you couldn't help but notice how he sort of shrunk in on himself as if he was trying to take up as little space as possible — as if that was even possible. he was massive. he avoided your gaze in a way that was shy instead of suspicious.
it was kind of...cute.
when you both got off the elevator, the lobby, you took a deep breath and stopped him, asking as confidently as you could if you could have his number. his eyes had widened but he surprisingly didn't say no — jackpot!
tho you couldn't see all of his face — the bottom half of it covered by a mask and his large hood concealing his hair, you felt a bit of an attraction to him.
as you walked out, hastily typing his number into your phone as you parted ways, you realized you may have a thing for masked man since this man — könig, he had said with an accent, and the ass that was simon both wore masks.
in between the time of The Simon Cycle, you went on a couple dates with könig. he was charming and sweet, if not a little shy. he was clumsy and almost always bumped his head on doorways before shamefully rubbing the spot he bumped with a look of embarrassment in his eyes.
he was excitable and energetic. he loved animals and always pointed out whatever animals he saw while walking with you — people walking dogs, cats in windows, ducks floating on ponds.
the more time you spent with him, the more you forgot about simon.
until his name popped up on your phone one evening when you were spending an evening in with könig. it was nothing crazy, he wanted to watch his favorite horror movie with you (an ancient black and white).
könig caught sight of your frown as your phone rang, catching sight of the name 'simon' with a blank picture.
"who is this?" he had asked, tho it wasn't out of jealousy, just pure concern and interest.
you let out a sigh, "i dated him....sort of...? not really..." you had responded, earning a confused look from him.
you explained everything to him, from meeting simon all the through his on and off behavior. by the end könig looked upset on your behalf, shaking his head.
"if he cannot decide if he wants you, then he should leave you alone," he said softly, smiling under his mask with a crinkle of his eyes, "that way someone who knows that they want you can move in!"
that was one thing you liked about könig, he was actually open to communicate his thoughts and feelings with you. he told you were pretty, how he liked your laugh, how much he enjoyed your company and was excited to see you again when you both had time.
simon was closed off. he was quiet, mostly listening rather than talking. but he listened well. you remember mentioning that you broke your lamp and had bought a new one but couldn't figure out how to set it up. a week later, after a nice evening spent in bed together, you woke up to find him sitting on your living room floor putting together that lamp for you.
even though könig was...lovely. there was something about simon that was so intoxicating that you couldn't seem to let it go. but also the sex with simon was....spectacular. you never had a man so eager to make you cum until you were incoherent — never had a man who could.
and könig was....traditional. slow. he wanted to date for a long time before jumping into bed. he wanted to properly court you and go through a whole process. which you respected but...you were impatient. greedy.
it wasn't like könig was against you seeing simon. he had told you that you were free to do what you wished, but unless you made it official with the other man he was not going to back down from trying to court you.
so when simon called on you again a couple nights later, you answered.
he was glaring when he opened the door for you, motioning for you to enter before shutting and locking the door.
"why didn't you answer?" he grilled. clearly you ignoring his call when you were with könig annoyed him more than you thought.
you raised an eyebrow before slowly answering, "i was on a date, simon."
that seemed to make him freeze where he stood, eyes narrowing even more into a glare.
"a date?" he spat, "with who? you don't need to go on any dates, you're with me."
that made you roll your eyes so hard it nearly gave you a headache, "a nice guy named könig. simon, i'm not even sure you like me beyond wanting sex. i want a boyfriend." you huffed, "and clearly you don't want that!"
"oh yeah? then why are you here instead of with your boyfriend?" he hissed the last word in disgust.
"we're not official. he hasn't asked but we've been...seeing each other." you decided simply.
at that, simon jerked his mask over his mouth to kiss you in that heated way that made your legs tremble, "does he fuck you as good as i do? hm?"
that got your attention, a sly smile coming to your lips as he worked you out of your clothes.
he was jealous. this revelation was exhilarating to you. simon, the guy who acted like he couldn't care less about you, was actually jealous that you were seeing another guy!
the sex that night was as phenomenal as usual and more. he spent a good half of it with his head between your thighs, pinning you down with strength alone as he ate you to orgasm after orgasm until your cum was a sticky, stringy mess on his lips and chin.
then he worked you to two more orgasms on his cock, the last one he hadn't even needed to touch your clit before you were creaming around him with a sweet little squeal.
simon had a point to prove. you were his and he was not going to lose you to some asshole. deep down, he knew he didn't deserve you and that he should let the better man have you but he just couldn't. he needed you. he wanted you. he was selfish and greedy.
simon disappeared after that. but for once had actually communicated what was going on — deployment, he said. didn't know how long he would be gone. he had actually gave you a goodbye kiss that left you spinning.
the next time you saw simon, you were on a date with könig. it was a quaint little bar that könig said he liked. so there you were, sitting across from him at a booth, nursing a drink and softly talking with one another.
you didn't even know simon was back. he hadn't said anything. when he walked into the bar, his eyes scanned the place like they always did before landing on you.
his gaze lit up as he took a step towards you but quickly halted when he saw you were sitting across from another man. but that didn't stop him for long.
you cursed under your breath, catching könig's attention before simon was right there at the end of the table, glaring at könig.
"can we help you...?" könig asked softly, clearly a little nervous.
"hi...simon..." you sighed softly. könig straightened up in his seat at that.
"official yet?" he asked you, ignoring your greeting.
you gritted your teeth, casting a glance towards könig who looked confused.
"no." you answered simply.
with that simon, yanked a chair from a nearby table and sat right at the end of your table. you concealed a groan of despair.
simons glare fixed upon könig, a challenge clear in his stare alone. he reached forward and grabbed your drink from your hand despite your protest, lifting his mask enough to take a sip, the cocky smirk visible briefly on his lips.
könig quickly understood what was going on and his own eyes narrowed into a glare. you could practically see the sparks going off between them and buried your face in your hands.
it was going to be....a painfully long night, you feared.
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smileysuh · 5 months
Text
after the seminar
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🌙 staring. Wonwoo x afab!Reader
🔮 preview. In truth, Wonwoo has been tired. You haven’t fucked since the first night of the seminar, and although that was only two days ago, you’re definitely feeling the loss. On top of that, being wined and dined and looked after always makes you hornier than usual, and Wonwoo has been extra ‘husband’ today. He’s just so perfect. Well-mannered, kind, educated- God, you want him so bad.
tw/cw. sugar daddy Wonwoo, gentleman in the streets/softdom in the sheets, reader doesn't want to make choices, daddy/control kink, fingering, multiple orgasms, oral, blow job, deep throating, dirty talk, praise, masturbation, unprotected sex, holding hands while fucking, implied breeding/fullness kink, etc… I pet names: (hers) honey. (his) daddy.
👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 6.3k
🍭 aus. sugar daddy au, established relationship, fiance!Wonwoo, etc…
☀️ mlist + an. I know not everyone is into this level of sugar daddy control, but I think there's something to be said about the trust that reader has for Wonwoo. Sometimes I just wanna shut up and let a man do all the work, and today, that man is Wonwoo
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Wonwoo’s had few loves in his life. During university, he’d had a love for law, a need to do what was right. In his thirties, he’d found a new soulmate in legislative procedures related to the sustainability and efficiency of whole cities. Finance had been another long-winded lover, and now, on the cusp of forty, Wonwoo’s found the one thing in the world he loves most, you.
Holding your hand while he drives through the city, Wonwoo can’t help but keep some of his attention on you. 
Dressed in a tight-fitting red dress he’d bought you for your six-month anniversary in Paris, with your hair and makeup done, you look as stunning as ever. There’s a fat rock on your wedding finger, an engagement ring signifying his loyalty to you, and Wonwoo can’t help himself but play with it a little anytime your hands are linked.
As he makes a turn onto a busy street, the sun practically blinds him, and Wonwoo immediately lets go of you to adjust his visor. You make no movement, so he pulls yours down too, enjoying the way you flash him a small smile and whisper a ‘thank you.’
“You look lost in thought,” he muses, having noted your gaze fixed on the sidewalk trees passing by outside your window. “What’s on your mind?”
“Just thinking about seminar topics,” you admit. 
Over the past three days, you’ve accompanied him to multiple talks focused on accessibility, affordability, and green solutions within cities like yours. Tonight marks the last evening of the event, and the two of you are headed to a meet-up with some of Wonwoo’s closest lawyer friends. 
Wonwoo loves how diligently you’ve thrown yourself into his work-focused world. Not only do you attend the seminars with him, but you truly make an effort to learn, and that’s never more obvious than when conversing with his colleagues.
Wonwoo’s best friend, Kim Mingyu, has entertained a string of sugar baby relationships, and despite inviting three or four of those women to events like the one you’ve just accompanied Wonwoo to, none of Mingyu’s girls ever took to it the way you do.
You’re one of a kind, and Wonwoo knows how lucky he is to have you.
“I’m sure Seungcheol will have a few things to say about the housing crisis talk,” Wonwoo notes. Choi Seungheol, who had started in law and made the leap to real estate. He now owns half of the new developments being built downtown, and Wonwoo knows this will spur a contentious discussion later.
“He can’t argue with the stats,” you sigh, turning to look at Wonwoo, who threads his fingers with yours again. 
“He can try,” Wonwoo smiles softly, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. 
You return the smile, turning your attention out the window again. 
You’re not voicing anything, but Wonwoo can read you like a book. It used to be his job to pay attention to body language, and while he tries to stay humble, people have called him something of a mind reader.
“It’s been an exhausting three days,” he notes. “We don’t have to be out for long tonight, I’m sure we both need our rest.”
“Hansol flies to New York tomorrow morning,” you remind him. “I want you to have as much time with him as you need before he’s gone.”
Your relationship is always something like this, the two of you caring for each other so deeply that you constantly make small concessions. As always, though, the ball is in Wonwoo’s court. He appreciates the way you can feel to him like an intellectual equal while still being submissive in other senses, although he never abuses this power over you.
He’ll keep an eye on you tonight, and when he notices you getting tired, or your energy depleting, he’ll excuse the both of you from drinks and take you back to his place. Then, he’ll take care of you in the ways only he knows how. 
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You love Wonwoo. You love him for the big things, his character, his good heart- but you love him for the little things too, the way nothing slips past his line of focus. He’s always a hundred percent on and present with you, holding open every door, guiding you by the small of your back, and pulling out your chair first when you join his friends on the top floor restaurant in the most expensive hotel in the city.
“You look amazing,” Mingyu compliments you, flashing you a toothy grin before standing to greet Wonwoo with a hug. “You definitely know how to pick them,” he praises his friend.
“And look at that ring,” Seungcheol has zeroed in on the diamond on your finger, and he reaches across the table to take your hand and get a better look at it. Wonwoo’s eldest friend has always had an eye for luxury, and he studies the oval rock and silver-colored band. “I’d ask if this is sterling,” he muses, “but if I were a betting man, which I am, I’d say it’s white gold.” 
Seungcheol lifts his eyes to meet yours, waiting for an affirmative, which you give with a nod. “You know your metals, Mister Choi.”
“How many times do I have to tell you,” he lifts your hand, pressing a gentle kiss to your fingers, “It’s Seungcheol.” 
“Stop flirting with Wonwoo’s girl,” Hansol tuts, pushing at Seungcheol’s shoulder.
The elder man makes a face, brushing off his expensive suit. “Not flirting,” he clarifies. “Although,” his gaze shifts to you again, “if you have any hot friends-”
“Aish,” Wonwoo has rejoined the conversation after greeting Mingyu, and he takes the seat next to you, his arm casually coming around the back of your chair to pull you closer. “What have I told you about asking her for favors?”
“I suppose you’re right,” Sungcheol sighs, sitting back and crossing his arms over his broad chest. “She’s one in a million, aren’t ya, little miss future Jeon to be?”
“Try one in a billion,” Wonwoo corrects, hand finding your thigh now that he’s pulled you close enough. “Have you three ordered drinks yet?”
“We were waiting on you,” Mingyu says, handing Wonwoo a cocktail menu, which he settles between you both so you can also read it. “Their margaritas are pretty good.”
You quickly find a drink you’d like to try, and you wordlessly reach out a manicured nail to tap on it. Wonwoo follows your motion, giving a curt nod, then he leans in to press his lips to your cheek. He waves down the waiter a moment later, and orders you your drink, sparing you the socialization.
This is yet another one of those little things Wonwoo does for you that you find incredibly sexy, and you tuck closer to him, placing your hand over his own on your thigh. 
“We should talk about the elephant in the room,” Mingyu sighs, drawing all eyes. You have no idea what he’s about to say, and then he hits the four of you with, “Cheol, you have to admit your new high rises aren’t sustainable or affordable.”
“They’re called luxury suits for a reason,” Seungcheol scoffs. “I’m not in the business of affordable housing.” 
Wonwoo grins next to you, looking down and squeezing your hand gently. It’s funny how amusing he finds this whole thing. 
“Don’t smirk like that, Woo,” Seungcheol tuts. “As if you didn’t do a walk-through of a penthouse suite in my new highrise last week.” 
This is news to you, and you turn to look at your boyfriend. You’re generally not one to question him, and luckily you don’t have to, because Kim Mingyu is just as nosey as you’d sometimes like to be. “You checked out a penthouse? I thought you loved your apartment?”
“I’ve had it for years,” Wonwoo says, and you can tell he’s choosing his words carefully. “However, I can admit that the amenities at Cheol’s new builds are quite impressive.”
“Amenities,” Seungcheol scoffs. “As if that’s what you were actually interested in.”
The two powerful men share a look, and it’s a battle of wills that makes your heart thump loudly in your chest. 
What was Wonwoo interested in?
He’s never talked to you about moving, and you’ve been living with him for nearly a year. Besides, Mingyu’s right, Wonwoo adores his apartment. He’s had it forever and it’s decorated exactly the way he likes it. Your bedroom is a lovely corner location with views of the whole city, and his home office is a sanctuary you’ve loved to desecrate. 
“We’ll talk about this more another time,” Wonwoo says finally, looking up as your waiter appears with a tray of drinks. 
Your cocktail is set in front of Wonwoo, and he gently pushes it toward you before reaching down to give your thigh a squeeze under the table. He picks up his Old Fashioned with his free hand, and Seungcheol raises his own glass in a toast. “To friends and new engagements!”
Seungcheol nods to you before taking a sip of his scotch, and it fills your body with heat to know his friends truly respect and like you. They’re happy to have you joining as a permanent member of their social sphere. 
You place your hand on top of Wonwoo’s as you bring your cocktail to your lips. 
The discussion moves to details about sustainability, and the men at the table trade opinions on the seminars. Mingyu is fast in his manner of speaking, always intent to prove his point. Cheol is loud and boisterous, scoffing at opinions that don’t align with his own. Hansol is often quiet, but he makes good notes ever so often, and they make the whole table sit and think. And your Wonwoo is as calm and judicial as always, listening to his friends with a contemplative expression even while his thumb draws small circles on your thigh. 
You give your own two cents a few times, and your musings are always the most well-received. None of the men at the table are about to pick a fight with you, and they’re attentive whenever you open your mouth, nodding and making one or two comments before getting heated with each other again. 
The waiter comes and Seungcheol orders a few appetizers while Wonwoo opens the menu for you. When Wonwoo begins to list three of his own items, you tap your finger on the one you’d like most and he voices that as well.
God, how you love the fact that you only have to lift one little finger with Wonwoo while he does the rest. You really aren’t in a super talkative mood, especially when it comes to mundane tasks like ordering food and drinks. You save your voice to join in on the intellectual conversation taking place, and you prefer things this way.
Seungcheol and Wonwoo begin to argue over rezoning laws, and Hansol turns toward you, leaning closer. “Congratulations on your engagement,” he smiles. 
“Thank you,” you grin back. 
“Have you guys talked about wedding plans yet?”
Out of all the people in the world, you didn’t think Chwe Hansol would be one of the first to ask you about wedding details. 
“We’re thinking destination,” you admit.
“I wouldn’t expect anything else,” Hansol laughs. “And an expensive honeymoon too I bet.” 
“Of course,” you grin, playing with the stem of your cocktail glass. “Although, if I’m being honest…” you lean closer to Hansol, lowering your voice while Wonwoo and Seungcheol continue to argue, “as much as I like the lifestyle I have with Wonwoo, you know I’m happy just to be with him.”
“But the expensive trips are a bonus I bet,” Hansol grins. 
“I mean… would you say no to a trip to the Maldives?” 
Wonwoo’s friend shakes his head, still smiling. “Never.”
“When are you going to find someone?” you ask. Out of all of Wonwoo’s close friends, Hansol is the most level-headed. He’s stable, and kind, and if you weren’t so into Wonwoo, you’d even admit Hansol is quite handsome in his own way. 
“Someday,” Hansol sighs. “Maybe you’ll have cute bridesmaids at your wedding.”
“I’ll put in a good word for you,” you assure him. 
Hansol laughs. “I’d appreciate that.”
Food begins to arrive at the table, and you sit up straight again, tucking close to Wonwoo. He’s done this thing, ever since your first date, where he helps plate food for you, and for some reason, it’s always been a huge turn-on.
You like getting baby girl treatment, and you watch Wonwoo with a grin while he cuts through some carpaccio and sets up a piece for you. He makes sure to get a little bit of everything on your plate before putting anything on his own, and his friends are already digging in by the time he’s gotten the both of you settled.
“Do you want anything else?” he asks, always the type to be certain he’s pleased you.
“This looks perfect,” you lean in and press a kiss to his cheek, lingering by his ear so he’s the only one who can hear you when you say, “Thank you, Daddy.”
Wonwoo reaches down and squeezes your thigh, the only sign you have that your words have done something to him. He’s not the type to be big on PDA, and it’s the little things like a constant touch, or acts of service, that remind you he loves you as much as you love him.
You wait for Wonwoo to lift a carpaccio bread spread to his lips before you reach for your own, mirroring his motions so you can experience the food together. 
You hadn’t been a carpaccio fan before meeting Wonwoo, but he’s expanded your pallet in the time you’ve known him, and you’re extremely thankful for this opportunity - as well as others - that he’s provided for you.
“Look at you two loved-up foodies,” Seungcheol sighs from across the table, watching you with eyes trained to assess. 
Wonwoo only grins, reaching for his drink to take a sip. You follow that motion too, smirking over the rim of your glass before downcasting your eyes. 
There’s no need to respond to Seuncheol’s comment because it’s an apt description of the pair of you.
“Stop being jealous,” Mingyu grins, reaching out to push at Seungcheol’s shoulder. 
“Never going to happen,” Seungcheol retorts. 
You know he’s in the market for a sugar baby, and Wonwoo’s told you how often Seungcheol brings you up when you’re not around. Apparently, his eldest friend is adamant that you’re one of the most perfect sugar babies he’s ever seen, and you wonder if maybe you should try to hook him up with one of your friends at the wedding. Give Cheol the Hansol treatment. However, in contrast to Hansol’s laid-back expectations, you’d have to give your Cheol-intended friend a cheat sheet booklet on how to please a rich man.
“Just watch,” Seungcheol continues, “these two are going to sneak off early and go to the bathroom or something. They’re sitting much too close together, and we’ve all noticed Wonwoo’s hand under the table.”
To show his innocence, Wonwoo lifts the hand in question. “We’re not doing anything,” he assures his friends calmly. “Although… unfortunately, we will have to leave early after appetizers.”
This is news to you, and you look at Wonwoo for further clarification, which he gives when pressed by Seungcheol.
“It’s been a long seminar,” Wonwoo explains, letting out a sigh of exhaustion. “I’d say Honey needs her beauty rest, but I think we all know I’m not so nice when I’ve been sleep deprived.”
You love it when he calls you Honey, in fact, he uses that name for you more than your legal one. 
Seungcheol lets out a groan, but he doesn’t push further, because Wonwoo’s excuse is true. He’s never been rude to you when tired, but he definitely has a ‘don’t fuck with me’ attitude when he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed. 
“We’ve got a meeting tomorrow morning,” Mingyu agrees. “Maybe I should get another drink and call it a night too.”
“Come on Gyu,” Seungcheol scoffs. “I’ll let these two ditch, but this is Hansol’s last night in the city, I thought we could go to a roof on one of my new waterfront builds and hit some golf balls at the sea.”
“Right, because that’s very environmentally friendly,” Wonwoo tuts.
“Jesus, you are tired, aren’t you?” Seungcheol laughs. 
It’s a rhetorical question, and Wonwoo simply lifts another appetizer to his mouth, chewing with a tight-lipped grin. 
In truth, Wonwoo has been tired. You haven’t fucked since the first night of the seminar, and although that was only two days ago, you’re definitely feeling the loss. On top of that, being wined and dined and looked after always makes you hornier than usual, and Wonwoo has been extra ‘husband’ today.
He’s just so perfect. Well-mannered, kind, educated- 
God, you want him so bad.
You take a sip of your cocktail again before resting your hand on Wonwoo’s thigh, and he stops what he’s doing to look down at your fingers toying with his pants. Then his gaze rises to you, and he cocks his head slightly, obviously a little stunned by how forward you’re being tonight.
It’s such a small motion, but it speaks volumes, and when paired with a small flutter of your lashes, Wonwoo reads you like he reads the books in his impressive office library. 
Part of you wants to toy with him, wants to tease your touch up to his crotch just to see if you can get him hard at dinner with his friends, but you know that would lead to something akin to consequence. 
As easy as it is for Wonwoo to read you, he’s not such an open book and his reactions vary drastically. You don’t want to push your luck today, not after you’ve been such a good girl for him for three seminars straight.
You remove your hand before playing with fire gets you burned, and the two of you continue to finish your appetizers. Each bite is one step closer to leaving with Wonwoo, but you try to take your time, try not to be too glutenous to make way for lust. 
Wonwoo finished eating and he lifts his drink with his left hand, his right palm finding your thigh again. His touch is soothing, gentle, but it still stirs a fire within you.
You shift your knee, letting it rest against his, and you sip your cocktail trying to pay attention to what Mingyu’s saying about the stock market. 
Wonwoo is generally quite the stocks man. He pays attention to Mingyu, but you can tell his focus is still partially on you, and you reach down to play with his fingers, enjoying how pretty his hands are. 
You need him so badly. 
That’s when you realize Wonwoo has almost finished his drink, and you quickly grab at yours too, wanting to reach the bottom of your own cup. 
You’ve not been drinking since the seminar started, and the booze in your cocktail definitely heightens your senses. An electric tingle consumes your form, and it’s getting harder to ignore the panties sticking to your core. 
The conversation reaches a lull,  and Wonwoo lets out a sigh, squeezing your legs. “Well, it’s been fun,” he says, “but Honey and I should get going.”
“One more drink,” Seungcheol practically begs, already lifting a hand to call over a waiter.
“Not tonight,” Wonwoo says, soft but firm. 
He stands up first, grabbing your hand to help you out of your own seat. “Good luck with your flight tomorrow, Hansol,” he nods to the man on your right. 
“Good luck with wedding planning,” Hansol retorts, rising from his chair to pull you and Wonwoo into a hug. 
Hansol’s not usually a touchy guy, and the hug means something. It’s a true acceptance that you’re permanently a part of Wonwoo’s life, and it means the world to you. 
“Now I want a hug,” Mingyu also stands, holding out his arms for you and Wonwoo.
With a laugh, your fiance’s hand finds the small of your back and he guides you into Mingyu’s warm embrace, trapping you between their large bodies. 
Now you’re really turned on. 
Seungcheol doesn’t stand, he simply watches, lips all pouty. “Let me know about that penthouse,” he muses. “I’ve got some foreign buyers already wanting a walk through and I won’t hold it forever.”
“I’ll get back to you,” Wonwoo promises, giving one last nod to Seungcheol before he begins to guide you out of the restaurant.
As you make it to the front desk, Wonwoo stops and addresses the staff member there. “I’m going to take care of my table’s bill tonight.”
“I’ll put it on your tab, Mr. Jeon.” She nods, typing something into the ipad infront of her.
“That was kind of you,” you muse as Wonwoo escorts you into the elevator that will lead to the underground where his expensive Mercedes is parked.
“We’re leaving early, it’s the least I could do.”
“You know… I hope we didn’t leave on my account,” you say, thinking about the conversation you’d had in the car earlier.
Wonwoo leans down close to you, grinning. “I can safely say we left due to my own personal needs, although they’re not sleep-related.” 
“You really like this dress, don’t you, Daddy?” you smile, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck while his hands settle on your hips.
“I like what’s under it,” he retorts, which is a cheeky response by Wonwoo’s standards.
“Been missing my body, haven’t you?”
“More than you realize.”
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Wonwoo had kept his composure on the drive home. He’d even kept his hands mostly to himself on the way up to your apartment, but your stoic lover is on you the moment the door to your home is closed behind you both.
He presses you up against the wall, grabbing your waist and tugging you close while simultaneously blocking you up against the hard surface at your back. His lips are hot against your own, his tongue invading your mouth and making you giggle as you grab the front of his shirt, already popping buttons open.
You release a moan when he reaches down and cups your core, pushing up your dress to access your lacey panties. “Where do you want it, honey?” he asks, biting at your lip.
“I don’t want to think tonight,” you admit, tired from days of brain power.
You love that Wonwoo likes to check in with you. He’s not the type to simply throw you over a kitchen counter and rail you when you might prefer the bed or even the shower- but at the same time, as soon as you give him full control, Wonwoo’s very good at taking charge.
“I’ll take care of you,” Wonwoo promises, pushing your panties to the side so he can slide two fingers against your heated core. You can feel how wet you are, and the contact against your clit has you whining, grabbing his face to bring his mouth to yours again while he pushes two digits knuckle deep into your aching core.
You’re sensitive from a few days without being touched, and it feels like heaven to have Wonwoo worshipping you like this again. You tangle your fingers in his hair as he draws his mouth down to your jaw then your throat, peppering your skin in kisses that have you shivering with pleasure.
“Daddy-” you whimper, your hips thrusting toward his hand as he works you open, palming your clit with delicious pressure. 
“I know, Honey, I know,” he soothes, and between gasped breaths and moans, you can hear your pussy squelching already. 
It’s getting harder and harder to stand on your shaky legs, your heels not meant for standing sex or heavy petting like this. But it’s also clear to you that Wonwoo has no intention of stopping his motions until you’ve cum on his fingers, so you do your best to grab his shoulders, steadying yourself while that wonderful feeling builds in the pit of your stomach. 
“I’ve missed this pussy,” Wonwoo tells you, voice low. It’s not often that he uses vulgarity, even in the bedroom, and his words betray how much he truly needs you. Your skin tingles with excitement, pussy throbbing, heart thundering in your chest-
It’s crazy how one sentence can nearly shortcircuit your brain when paired with Wonwoo using his hands like this- stroking the parts of you that he knows better than anyone else in the world.
Your fiance has taken his sweet time getting to know your body, and it shows in moments like these. 
“I’m so close-” you gasp, digging your nails into his shoulders. You should care about his expensive suit jacket, but you don’t- all that matters is the orgasm you’re desperately chasing, hips moving to ride Wonwoo’s hand while his unrelenting fingers get you closer and closer to the edge-
“Come on, honey,” Wonwoo grins, mouth returning to the spot on your neck that always makes you go feral, “cum for me.” 
One more rough thrust with his fingers has you moaning, tumbling past the edge as your orgasm overtakes you. 
If you’d nearly been falling over before this, you almost crumple to the floor with all the pleasure coursing through you now. Wonwoo’s free arm loops around your waist, and he presses you closer to the wall, keeping you propped up while his hand continues between your shaking thighs.
He releases a low groan, and you can feel his cock pressing through his pants by your hip. You feel delirious already, body pulsing, skin tingling. Wonwoo’s broad shoulders are your lifeline, and you grip them desperately, taking everything he has to give you like the good girl you are.
“Wonwoo-” you whimper, seeking out his lips, cupping his face to draw him closer. His tongue glides against your own, and you’re enough of a distraction that his fingers begin to slow inside of you.
Finally, he pulls his hand away from between your thighs, dragging his lips from yours so he can sink his digits into his mouth. You watch him lick them clean, listening to the groan of satisfaction that escapes him while you do your best to catch your breath.
“You’re always so good for me,” Wonwoo tells you, lifting his gaze to yours again. 
You swallow thickly, mind swimming, searching for a response. “You deserve it,” you assure him finally.
“And I know what you deserve tonight,” he retorts. 
In one quick motion, he lifts you up bridal style. One of your stilettos crashes to the floor from the sudden way your body has just been swung like a rag doll, but neither of you care as Wonwoo carries you through the apartment toward the bedroom.
You can’t help the giggle that escapes you. Wonwoo always makes you feel like a princess, and he looks like a classic prince while doing it. His side profile is so regal- all sharp bones and pretty lips. God- how did you ever get this lucky?
When you get to your destination, Wonwoo is gentle when he sets you onto the mattress. He straightens and looks down at your form, letting out a deep breath.
“Can you take that pretty dress off for me, honey?” he asks, already shrugging off his suit jacket and setting it over a chair nearby. 
“Of course, daddy,” you grin, reaching down to grab at the hem of the silky outfit, dragging it up your thigh.
His eyes are glued to you even as he works on his cuff links, and you take your sweet time as he makes it to the buttons of his shirt. The dress has a corset style back, and you tug on the ribbon before slowly working it open.
Wonwoo doesn’t say anything, but you can see his breathing pick up as the fabric gets less tight on your chest, revealing more and more of your bralessness. 
When he makes it to his pants, you remove the dress, leaving you in nothing but your thong, which is soaked through. 
Your fiance swallows thickly. “Panties too, honey. I don’t think I have the patience to wait any longer tonight.”
His lack of patience is clear in the way his cock slaps up against his abdomen, released by the pants now pooled by his feet.
Wonwoo looks like a fucking God, especially while naked. He’s lean but muscled, and you’ve spent hours tracing each ridge and bone. His cock is an impressive length of around seven inches, it’s pale like the rest of him, but when he’s really turned on, it flushes in colour.
Right now, his cock is a pinkish red, and you can see the angry tip already leaking desperately. 
You stand up, sneaking a kiss to his lips while hooking your fingers in your panties. Pushing them down, you get onto your knees.
“Honey, you don’t have to-”
“Maybe I’m impatient too, have you ever thought of that, daddy?” you ask, grabbing the base of his length and leaning forward to kitten lick the tip.
Wonwoo releases a low groan, reaching down to thread his fingers through your hair.
“I’ve missed you,” you murmur, enjoying the way he reacts when you kiss his cock gently. “Missed the weight of you in my mouth.”
“Fuck-”
It’s not often that Wonwoo curses, and the word goes straight to your core.
“Can I touch myself while I suck you off, daddy?” 
“I’d be upset if you didn’t,” he admits. “I want you dripping when I finally pull you off my cock and fuck you the way you like it.”
You whimper, your whole body alight with energy as you take him into your mouth. You’re already practically drooling from his fingers earlier and the dirty talk now, which makes it easy to coat him in spit. 
You’ve never been able to take all of Wonwoo in your mouth, but you do your best, gripping the base and bobbing your head while you begin to toy with your clit.
“That’s it, pretty girl,” Wonwoo groans, taking a deep breath as his hand guides you on his cock. “Always so good for me.”
The praise only makes you suck on him harder. You sink so far down onto him that his tip hits the back of your throat. You feel yourself constrict around him and Wonwoo lets out a loud moan, fingers flexing in your hair. 
“Careful, honey, I don’t want you to choke,” he tells you, but his voice has lost it’s usual commanding tone. He’ll let you do anything you want to him, even if it means gagging on cock- but he’ll do his best to be gentle with you verbally at least.
You get lost in the feeling of pleasuring him, closing your eyes and letting your mouth show him how much you’ve missed him… however, not in so many words. 
Actions speak volumes, especially in this case.
You continue working on your pussy too, eventually slipping two fingers into your wet core, which makes you moan around Wonwoo’s cock.
“Honey-” he groans.
You can tell that he’s on the verge of breaking, so you pull off his length, looking up at him while catching your breath. “Ready to fuck me now, daddy?”
“I’ve been ready all night,” he grins, reaching down to grab your hand and help you to your feet. 
He kisses you then, cupping your face and leaning forward, taking your breath away all over again. His palm flatens against the small of your back and he dips you backward- then you’re falling, a small squeal escaping you-
The fall is only an inch or two, and you hit the mattress, Wonwoo bearing down on your form almost immediately. You grab at his shoulders as his lips find yours, your legs wrapping around his lean hips to tug him closer.
His cock is still wet with your spit, and it rubs deliciously through your soaked folds, bumping your clit and making you moan into the kiss.
As impatient as Wonwoo seemed to be, he’s not quick to adjust himself against you- or at least, not quick enough for your liking, so you reach between your bodies and grab his cock, lining him up with your wet hole. 
Wonwoo grins against your lips, and in one motion, he sinks into your core.
You moan loudly, digging your nails into his strong shoulders and throwing your head back as he fills you perfectly, stretching out your walls.
Your fiance takes the opportunity to kiss your neck, finding your sweet spot.
He feels like heaven- you’re really not sure how long you’ll be able to last tonight, but that’s never mattered with Wonwoo. You have forever with this man, which means you can be as fast or slow as you’d like to be.
He begins to thrust in and out of your core, and it makes you cry out again, walls contracting around his cock. You can feel him so deeply, especially as he adjusts your legs, pushing your thighs closer to your chest.
“Wonwoo-” you whimper, not a care in the world for using a ‘correct’ title. Your fiance might enjoy the daddy kink, but he’s never been the type to punish you for slipping up and calling him something different.
It’s clear to both of you how far gone you are, and Wonwoo only grins against your throat, picking up his pace.
“How about you rub your clit for me, honey?” he asks. 
You’re not one to question him, and your hand slips between your bodies to seak out the sensitive nub. More sounds of pleasure escape you as you begin to rub yourself, and your moans only push Wonwoo to fuck you harder.
Each thrust has his cock hitting a spot deep inside of you, and it’s making you delirious. 
Wonwoo finds your free hand, threading your fingers and using you as leverage as he presses you against the mattress. His breath is hot on your throat, but soon he’s seaking out your lips again, and you eagerly kiss him as if your life depends on it.
There’s an orgasm building in the pit of your stomach, spurred on by your fingers on your clit and the cock filling you up with each rough thrust.
Wonwoo doesn’t need to check in on you, and you don’t need to tell him you’re close, you’re certain he can tell. He tightens his grip on your hand, a silent invitation to let go whenever you want.
Each drag of his cock against your inner walls draws you closer and closer to the edge, and when he breaks the kiss to lick your throat, it allows you to focus entirely on the pleasure between your legs.
“Fuck, daddy-” you whimper, back arching as you shift below him.
“I know, honey,” he groans. “Me too.”
“Yeah?” Your body jitters with near orgasmic bliss. “Can you cum with me?”
“Of course, just tell me when.”
“Please-” you moan, writhing against the sheets as he fucks you even harder. “Please, daddy- I want you to fill me up-”
Wonwoo groans, teeth dragging by the sensitive skin of your throat. 
“Please, please- fuck, I’m almost there-” you rub your clit harder, body tensing on the precipice of your orgasm-
“Shit,” Wonwoo tightens his grip on your hand to the point where it almost hurts- and even though he doesn’t say it, it’s clear to you that he’s reached his own high.
The thought that Wonwoo is so turned on he’s just cum before you - something that never happens - is enough to drag you over the edge, your core clamping down on his cock, eager to milk him for everything he’s worth while you cry out in ecstasy. 
He’s gasping against your throat, thrusts even deeper now- slow, steady little ruts as he coats your insides with him cum, filling you up perfectly. 
You get lost in the feeling of him, squeezing his hand back as a silent encouragement while your pussy continues to squeeze his cock, eager to get every last drop.
When he finally comes to a stop, he simply lays on top of you for a moment, the both of you breathing heavily.
“Wonwoo?”
“Yes, honey?”
“I’ve just remembered-” you pull your hand away from your clit, instead moving to stroke his hair, “What did Seungcheol mean about the penthouse you were looking at?”
Wonwoo lets out a small chuckle. “Do you really want me to spoil the surprise?”
“Yes, please.”
Your fiance pulls away from your throat, looking down at you. “I’ve been thinking we might need a bigger place… one that could accommodate a few extra rooms.”
“Extra rooms?” you cock a brow.
“For any kids we might have, you know, after we’re married.” 
Your entire body tingles with excitement. 
While the two of you have talked about children in a general manner before, nothing has ever been set in stone. But you suppose now that you’re engaged, it’s natural this sort of thing would be on Wonwoo’s mind.
“How do you feel about that?” Wonwoo asks.
“I feel like…” you swallow thickly, “I want you to fill me up again, and also that I should book a doctor's appointment to discuss going off birth control.”
“I can definitely help you with that first one,” Wonwoo grins, pressing chaste kisses all across your face while you giggle and hold him tighter.
“We’re really doing this,” you whisper.
Wonwoo’s thumb brushes by the ring on your wedding finger. “Honey, I couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone else.”
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☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! I'm in love with Wonwoo what the hell
🍭 support me by. sending a tip here or here - or become a patron to access monthly bonus content and extensions for fics like this one :) find the Patreon teaser below! 
🔮 preview. You pull away just as his lips are about to meet yours. “You know how appreciative I am whenever daddy gets me a present,” you say, acting innocent. This only makes him laugh, and he grabs the back of your head, pulling you into a passionate kiss. You know buying things for you does the same thing to Wonwoo that it does to you. He loves seeing the excitement in your eyes, the way you light up at gifts. He truly lives to provide for you. 
cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, mentions of breeding kink/wanting to get reader pregnant, sugar daddy Wonwoo, daddy kink, soft dom!Wonwoo, oral, pussy eating, fingering, breif edging, squirting, groping, sickly sweet loved up sex, crying during sex cuz reader is so in love, mentions of pain kink, hair pulling, teasing, dirty talk, fucking on a kitchen counter, Wonwoo talks about reader getting ‘plump’ with pregnancy, he adores the ‘soft bits’, etc.  I petnames. (hers) honey (his) daddy.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 4k I teaser wc. 300
🌙 staring. Wonwoo x afab!Reader
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bonus
“Can I take this off yet?” you ask, wobbling in your heels as you grab at the silk blindfold blocking your vision.
“Be patient, honey,” Wonwoo breathes in your ear, his hands firm on your hips as he guides you to whatever surprise destination he has in store for you tonight. 
Christmas is a week away, and the last time he blindfolded you like this was for your birthday. He’d taken you to a Mercedes dealership to let you choose any car you wanted. You have no clue what he has in store for you now, and you’re practically shaking with excitement. 
You know he’s driven you somewhere, and you’ve been in an elevator, so it must not be another car- your list of gift possibilities is somewhat thin. You have a hunch, but you don’t want to get ahead of yourself just in case you’re wrong about where your fiance is leading you. 
Wonwoo’s lips find your throat, and his hands stop you in your tracks. His breath is hot by your ear a moment later, and he lets out something like a contented sigh. “Okay. Let me help you take this off.” 
His deft fingers work at the loose knot behind your head; soon the blindfold slips away.
Your eyes adjust to the light, and you blink while taking in the space in front of you. You’re in a large open-concept kitchen, a living room sprawled in front of you with views of the whole city. The decor is lavish luxury, and you recognize the design concept as a Choi Seungcheol special when you notice a specific lighting fixture that Cheol puts in all his expensive builds. 
“Wonwoo-” you breathe, mind spinning.
The man behind you flattens his chest against your back, wrapping his arms around your frame while he rests his head on your shoulder. “Do you like it?”
“Is this…”
“It’s ours,” your fiance confirms. “I wanted to show it to you on Christmas day, but I couldn’t help myself.”
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