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tweedlydumbtweedlydoo · 3 years

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the Original Vampire | Elijah Mikaelson x Winchester!reader

Requested by @nalledimessi / Summary: You finally tell the truth to your supernatural killing brothers; you’re dating the Original vampire Elijah Mikaelson.

A/N: I’m so sorry for the wait, had some things come up at home. I hope you enjoy!! xx

Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx

**MASTERLIST**

Requests: {OPEN} CLOSED

** Rules for Requesting **

** Who I Write For **

********************************************************************************************NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNERS

*oh my this gif; he’s a freaking hottie UGH

“What is your story?” Elijah asked as his fingers ran up and down your arm. You were laying on his chest between the sheets of his bed.

You hummed as you stared up to him with a soft smile, your index finger caressing his cheek, “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.” You whispered against his lips.

He chuckles, pulling you closer against his chest, “That’s such a cliche.”

You sat up next him, holding the sheet against your chest, “If I did tell you, you’d never forgive me.. You wouldn’t look at me the same.”

He furrows his eyebrows as he stares at you, “It can’t be that bad.” He sits up and leans back against the headboard and reaches for your hand, but you pull away, tears already forming.

“I should go.”

Elijah is confused with the change of emotion in you. The two of you had been dating for close to three months now. He’d met you in a bar located in the French Quarter and the two of you had been inseparable since.

You hated lying to him like this. You knew his secret; He was a vampire, an original vampire. The same one you and your brothers were hunting at the moment. You, Dean and Sam had drove down to New Orleans after hearing word vampires were taking over the French Quarter. So far during the two months, you’d killed 2 vampires and were no closer to killing the original vampires. Thanks to you. You’d kept your brothers away this long, sending them in the opposite direction.

You were really going to kill Elijah that night you met him. That was your plan but he’d shown you a side of him, the good side that you couldn’t believe he was this evil vampire everyone spoke about.

“You don’t have to go so soon.” He reaches for your arm, stopping you, “What is bothering you?”

You shook your head, slipping your arm from his grasp, “It’d be better to be kept a secret.” You gave him a begging look, “Please just let this go.”

He gives you a nod and waves his hand toward the door, “Then go.”

You silently thanked him and hurried to get dressed.

“Will you still come to the party this evening? You are my date.” He asks, getting dressed himself.

Shit. You’d completely forgot about the party tonight. You wondered if you could get passed your brothers tonight to attend. “Yes, I’ll be there.”

Elijah came to your side after you’d completely dressed and put his hand on your cheek, “You can tell me anything.”

“Not this.”

“Where the hell have you been?” Dean stood from his seat at the table, anger written all over his face.

You shrugged him off, tossing your jacket on the bed, “I was following a lead.”

“We were worried sick.” Sam closes his laptop in front of him, “We tried calling and you didn’t answer.”

“Sorry.” You mumble, sitting on the bed to slip your shoes off, “Phone died.”

“Well, we got a good lead.” Dean tosses the paper next to you, “Hope you brought a fancy dress with you.”

You picked up the piece of paper and read it over.

“Cause we’re going to a party tonight.” Dean smirks.

It was a poster for the same party you’d be attending tonight with Elijah. The same party that the Mikaelson’s were throwing at their home. Oh this wasn’t good at all.

“Go get ready. We leave in an hour.” Sam orders.

“We can’t go to this party.” You stand and look between the both of them, “We’d be walking straight to our death.” There would be multiple vampires there, you just knew it.

Dean waves you off, “I think we’ll be fine.”

“No, I don’t think you guys understand.”

They have a look of confusion on their face, “Please. Elaborate.”

“Yes please, elaborate, little sister.” Dean huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Never mind.” You shook your head, “forget I said anything.” You head for the bathroom but Sam stops you, “Is there something you know that we dont?”

You shook your head, “No.”

“You wouldn’t lie to us, would you?” Dean asks, skeptical.

“Fuck you, Dean.” Looking between the two, “I’m going to get ready.”

Sam and Dean made sure you were packing heat underneath your dress. Mostly wooden bullet filled guns and a couple wooden stakes in case you were to run into a vampire. How were you supposed to walk in there and not be spotted by Elijah? it was his family’s party and he’d be expecting you, looking for you in the crowd.

You knew as soon as Sam and Dean laid eyes on one of the Mikaelson’s, they’d be dead. Oh god, what did you get yourself into?

You followed behind the two brothers, sick to your stomach. You just had a feeling this night wouldn’t end well. “Should we get a drink first?” You suggested.

Dean nods, “I could use a drink.” He lead the two of you toward the bar and was preoccupied by ordering, giving you time to look over the place. You spotted him instantly at the balcony above the courtyard. He hadn’t noticed you just yet.

“Going to find a bathroom.” you said to Sam, who gave a nod, “Be careful.” His attention was then back toward the bar.

You quickly slipped through the crowd, looking back up where you’d spotted Elijah. He was already looking down at you with a smile. You returned the smile and headed up the stairs toward him.

“You look stunning.” He compliments, leaning in for a kiss, but you’ve grabbed his arm and lead him toward his bedroom, “This morning wasn’t enough for you?”

“We need to talk.” You quickly turned around to shut the french doors behind you. “I don’t have time but you and your family are in trouble.”

“In trouble? What the hell is going on?”

You glanced back at the door, Sam and Dean would be looking for you soon, “Elijah..”

“Tell me why my family is in trouble.” He growled, becoming protective of his family and taking a step toward you.

“I’m not who you think I am.”

“Then tell me who you are.” He didn’t know if he could harm you if it came down to it. His heart was yours and the thought of harming you in anyway, made him sick. “I told you earlier, you can tell me anything, my love.” He gently caresses your cheek with his knuckles, “Who are you?”

Your eyes became glossy as you stared up at him, “We.. me and my brothers are hunters. We hunt the supernatural and we got word of vampires taking over the French Quarter. The night we met, I was going to kill you but you showed such.. such a different side of what I thought vampires were. You showed me compassion and kindness.” You let out a soft sob, “I fell for you, Elijah and I couldn’t do it. I’ve tried to push them in the opposite direction from you and your family, but they saw the poster and they’re here.”

He couldn’t help but grow angry at what you’d just told him. You lied to him, betrayed him. “you lied to me.” He took a step away from you.

“Elijah please.. I wanted to tell you.” You begged, “I wanted to tell you so many times but I just didn’t know how.”

“You betrayed me. Me and my family. We opened our home to you! We trusted you.”

“Elijah, please. You have to know keeping you and your family safe was my main priority. I’ve kept them in the opposite direction so they wouldn’t find you. I’ve been feeding them the wrong information for weeks.”

“Why not tell me the truth? Why lie to me?”

“Because if you knew the truth you would have killed them.. or killed me. I couldn’t risk my family getting hurt either. But I wanted to protect both your family and mine.”

“So they are here now to kill my family? You brought them here?”

You shook your head, “I would never. They saw the posters Rebekah put up this morning about the party.”

“I wish you would have told me the truth sooner.” Pulling out the phone he starts to dial Klaus’ number to warn him.

“Elijah I’m so sorry.” You let out a soft sob and hung your head.

“Shh shh..” He gathers you in his free arm. He could see the hurt on your face and deep down he knew if you’d wanted to kill him, you’d done it already. “It’s alright.” He kisses the top of your head.

“Niklaus-” He started but was interrupted as Sam and Dean bursted into the room, guns drawn, “get away from her!”

Elijah went into protective mode, pushing your body behind is.

“No-” You tried to interject, but it was too late. Sam pulled the trigger and the wooden bullet went straight through Elijah’s heart. You watched as he landed on his back with a thump, his body going grey with death.

“No!” You cried out, “No! What did you do?!” You dropped to your knees next to Elijah, “No No no..” You gripped his hand in yours, laying your head on his chest and sobbed. This is what you’d tried to protect him from but you’d failed. You failed him.

“Get away from him, y/n!” Dean ordered.

“What the hell are you doing!” Sam went to grab you by the arms but you shook him off, falling back at Elijah’s side, “You killed him!”

“Yeah I did!” Sam yells back, “That was the damn plan!”

“What the hell is your problem?” Dean asks, reaching for you.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Your hands gripped Elijah’s shirt, your head going to his chest, “I’m so sorry.. I’m so sorry Elijah.”

Dean and Sam had no idea what was going on and were confused with your outburst. Why were you crying over this mans, not man but vampire’s body? You’d think they’d killed the love of your life.

“Oh my god.” Sam is the first to realize it, but Dean lags behind, “What?”

Elijah gasps as he comes back to life, your name the first thing on his lips, “y/n”

Your hands went to his face as the grey disappeared, “oh Elijah.. what is.. you’re alive?” Your hand went to his heart. The wound was still opened.

He growls in pain as he pulls the bullet from his chest, examining it, “It’s not white oak.” Tossing it away from him, the wound healing, “You can’t kill an original vampire without white oak.”

Sam and Dean are flabbergasted, that was not in any of their books. “You’re alive.” You sobbed, wrapping your arms around him, “I thought I lost you.”

“Shh.. it’s alright my love.” He wipes a tear from your cheek, “I’m alright.”

“What in the hell is going on?” Dean is still not caught up.

“You’ve been screwing with our investigation this whole time, haven’t you?” Sam asked as he put the gun back in his holster, “Leading us in the wrong direction?”

Elijah slowly pulled himself off the ground and helped you to your feet, “I love him, Sam.”

“you gotta be fucking kidding me.” Dean growls, “you in love with a vampire?!”

You flinched at his outburst. Elijah’s arm protectively wraps around you, “He’s been nothing but compassionate and kind.. He’s not like the stories dad would tell you. He’s a good man and yeah I love him.”

Dean starts toward you but Sam grabs him by the shoulder, “Don’t Dean.”

“You’re not on her side.” Dean looks at Sam in disbelief, “You can’t be okay with our little sister being in love with a vampire!”

“She loves him, Dean, what the hell are we supposed to do?! We kill him, she’d never forgive us.” Sam looks at Elijah, “You love her?”

Elijah looks down at you with such admiration and wipes a stray tear from your cheek, “With everything I have.”

Sam takes a step toward Elijah, giving him a warning point of his finger, “If.. If one hair on her head is ever injured because of you, mark my words, the next bullet that goes through you will not be wood. It will be white oak.”

Dean can’t believe his eyes. His little sister in love with an original vampire and his brother just going along with it. Saying it’s okay. Deep down he knew Sam was right; if they were to kill him, you’d never forgive them and they would lose another family member. You and Sam were all Dean had left and he couldn’t lose either of you. He steps up beside Sam, “That warning comes from me too.” That was his way of giving you his approval.

Stepping away you gather Dean in a hug. His body stiffens at the affection but he returns the hug, “Thank you.”

“I’ll kill him y/n. I’ll kill him if he hurts you.” He whispers to you.

You nodded, “I know.” You give him a soft smile and then turn to Sam, giving him a hug.

“We’re going to head back to Kansas. I assume you’re staying here?” Sam asks.

You nod and return to Elijah’s side, “I’m staying here.”

Elijah holds his hand out toward Sam, “If you two ever need help on a hunt, I’m willing to lend a hand.”

“We won’t need it.” Dean grumbles as Sam shakes his hand and thanks him for the offer.

Dean doesn’t shake his hand right away and Sam nudges him, “Fine, whatever.” He huffs with a shake of Elijah’s hand.

Sam and Dean returned to Kansas to find another case while you stayed with Elijah in New Orleans. It felt like a cloud had been lifted from your shoulders. No more lying to Elijah or your brothers; Everything was out in the open and you’d had their approval which made it even better.

Supernatural tag list: @fanficscuziranout , @taylordrunkonwhiskey , @hollymac79 , @akshi8278 , @thedarkqueenofavalon , @idkhaylijah , @dpaccione , @corishirogane3

All my works tag list: @blossomreed , @mggstyles , @simonsbluee , @thewolf-and-thesheep , @obxrafejjwhore , @abbiesthings , @itstaskeen , @reniescarlett

The Vampire Diaries / The Originals tag list: @thefandomplace , @taylordrunkonwhiskey , @somewhatasoftbaddie , @toomuchtv95 , @losers-club6 , @daddydobrockk , @idkhaylijah , @harpersmariano , @dpaccione , @hellotvshowtrash , @akshi8278

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elise-jupiterstyle · 3 years

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god i just… i need a minute

tw: my opinions

it’s like they gave us the brio endgame* and death separation like we wanted but like, i feel absolutely zero satisfaction from it. this whole episode felt like it needed three more episodes to make sense with how quickly everything culminated.

like they took nick down, check. brio isnt dead, check. dean isnt staying, check. but none of it makes me feel anything because none of it feels earned. beth legit was still trying to have rio assassinated at the beginning of the season, but now because his relative kinda sorta made moves on her he’s declaring his devotion and calling her his and all is forgiven???

i think i’m more unhappy with the ending because of how obvious the writers were in trying to appease us. they tried cramming in knots to loose ends that should’ve been tied up eons ago and the result feels very jarring, sloppy, and wholly unsatisfying.

like, the giant realization is that beth can’t give up crime? that’s been the theme of the entire fucking show. it was stated outright when beth went to addiction therapy and subsequently left after one session! when she went back to rio after every single disastrous fall out with him! we’ve known this, so the buildup with the fantasy world and the harsh reality check just feels so lazy.

and yes, when i rewatch this episode and can finally take in each scene without holding my breath and trying to split my attention between live blogging, i’ll probably find more to appreciate in it. but i am just so confused, which is what i know a lot of people felt when rio was shot in the season two finale. the writers were wanting a big reaction, to go out with a bang, and it feels like they once again sacrificed the pacing and logic of the storyline and the characters for the sake of it.

i will say that putting annie in jail was an interesting choice, and one that i wont knock the writers for like i have the rest of the episode. obviously im upset about it and i dont totally understand why the consequences of the entire fucking season wouldnt fall on beth like literally everyone around her has been insisting it should, but i like that it was some semblance of a decision actually being held to fruition. i completely forgot about annie’s request to mick and i never really thought about it much afterwards because they didnt show them coming to an agreement about it on screen.

but you know what we could’ve had with all the runtime that that drawn out piece of shit fantasy world took up? beth reacting to her sister being framed for multiple murders after her lighthearted, wrapped-in-a-bow meeting with rio in the park. but we did want brio, so beggers cant be choosers, i suppose.

i’m sure i’ll be back with more thoughts after i let this episode marinate in my brain, but really i feel like i just read like four different fanfics and the storylines are all mashing together in my head. very disorienting.

#good girls nbc #nbc good girls #beth and rio #rio good girls #beth boland #rio and beth #good girls fandom #beth x rio #gg spoilers #good girls finale #good girls brio #brio good girls #good girls season 4 #good girls s4 #gg season 4 #gg s4 #annie marks #ruby hill #good girls rio

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lesbiandeanwinchester · 3 years

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okay i saw some (two) posts about john 'enlisted for the vietnam war' winchester being the "righteous man" and i actually have two theories on this

1. i dont think he really was the righteous man, because if he was then why go through all that trouble to match him with mary and have sam and dean. like yeah azazel wanted sam but its not like he has any control over cupids. plus why would heaven want lucifers true vessel or whatever to be born. and its not like angels always know whats up, they could have just been wrong

2. maybe he was the righteous man but that means fuck all. i mean its not like heaven or chuck were particularly just or moral. so maybe he was The Righteous Man because he was so fully convinced in it himself. he was still a piece of shit though, and if he really didn't start torturing people in hell it was because he wanted to prove a point not because he gave a single shit about suffering

#mine #listen #i havent seen the show in a While

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superwholock-marvel-images · 3 years

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Cold Night, New Family part one

Because tumblr is a piece of shit, i have to repost this.

---

It's the middle of winter and Sam's returning from a supply run. When out of the corner of his eye he spots you, you're no older than four. He wouldn't have thought about it much, if he didn't notice the fact your lips and fingertips are slightly blue.

The clothes you're wearing are soaked by melted snow. Unable to help himself Sam walks towards you wanting to help. You flinch away from his touch.

"It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you." he says in a gentle tone. As he removes his jacket revealing a blue flannel shirt underneath. He then gently gently drapes it over your small frame.

"T-tank y-you." You say shivering, as you snuggle into the coat thankful for the warmth.

"Hey, you need it more than me." Sam replies. "I'm Sam. What's your name, kid?"

"Y-Y/N."

"That's a beautiful name. Tell me, Y/N why are you out in the cold without a coat?"

"I-i d-dont h-have o-one. M-mommy a-and d-daddy j-just l-left m-me h-here." Sam Winchester pauses, thinking of what to do. Dean might kill him, but he isn't going to let you stay out on the streets and freeze to death. He asks if you want to come with him- you quickly nod in agreement.

Sam carefully picks you up (after putting his jacket back on), careful not to move you too much. He then carries you to the motel room. Once inside the room, Sam does what he can to warm you up- your lips and fingers slowly return to a somewhat normal color. Eventually, you end up falling asleep against him.

🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝

-Sam POV-

I gently place a hand on Y/N's forehead checking her temperature. She's still cold- causing me to worry that I might have to take her to the hospital. About then is when Dean gets back from...whatever he was doing.

"What's with the kid, and should I ask why she's drowning in your flannel?" My brother asks.

"I found her in the street, poor kid has a case of hypothermia- hence the shirt." I answer. "She's not as bad as she was when I found her."

"What do you mean?"

"Y/N's lips and fingertips were turning blue when I found her."

"You sure her parents aren't worried about her?" I throw my brother a look, before setting Y/N down. I then tuck the four year old girl underneath the blankets.

"What parent would leave a four year old outside in the middle of December at..." I look at the clock. "9:59 at night?"

"You have a point." Dean sits down next to the small girl, checking her temperature. He sighs and pulls away from her sleeping form. "Man, I really hope her temperature doesn't drop during the night."

"You and me both Dean."

🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝

-No one POV-

The next morning, before Dean makes a breakfast run, he checks your temperature again. Thankfully you're out of the hypothermic area, but you're not quite to regular body temperature yet. Dean then leaves the room.

About an hour later, you wake up because you're cold. Your (eye color) eyes dart around the room looking for Sam... you didn't like being alone.

"Hey, how you feeling cutie?" Sam asks walking out of the restroom. You start to shiver a little, giving Sam his answer. He scoops you up in his arms and holds you against his chest.

"Y/N, this is my brother Dean." Sam says, introducing you to Dean when he gets back. Dean smiles as he sets down the food.

"What in the bag?" You ask.

"Breakfast, you hungry?"

"Don't eat too fast Y/N, you'll get a stomach ache." Sam advises when he notices you basically inhaling your oatmeal and your hot cocoa.

"Sorry." You reply in a soft voice. You haven't had a decent meal since your parents abandoned you... so you're starving.

"When was the last time you actually ate something?" Dean asks concerned. You shrug in response, it's been awhile. The Winchesters share a look. "Y/N, where's your parents?" Tears form in your eyes.

"They don't want me." You say with a sniffle. "No one wants me..."

------

@the-third-winchester-warrior

@flannels-and-rocksalt

@always-keep-writing-spn

@winchesters-favorite-girl

@caroldanverseinatardis

@spnnolifegirl

@thewinsisterchronicles

@simply-wins-little-sis

@moose-and-sqruille-lover

@thewinsister

@mrspadackles

@spnsisimages

@percussiongirl2017

@aw-hawkeye

@bee-wrecker

@platonic-plots

Message me if you wanna be tagged

#superwholock #supernatural #winchester sister #sam and dean #supernatural brother sister moment #sam winchester #dean winchester #platonic!reader #sisfic #spn sisfic #supernatural sisfic #dean x sister!reader #sam x sister!reader

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creampievampire · 3 years

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Could you go into the difference between the subtext and queerbaiting in it, I'm still kind of -well it's obviously gay but nothing was really ever said or shown that says that expect for people talking about it- Like are the characters and their relationship just queer-coded (positivly ofc lol) but the baitiness comes from them sort of confirming it off the show?

of course! im assuming by ‘it’ you mean merlin, but rather than explaining the reasons why i think bbc merlin is a matter of subtext (or queer coding) and not queerbaiting, i think it would be easier and more productive to explain the difference between the two in general. they are very similar - which is why i think a lot of people are unable to tell the difference between them - but they have important differences

just a warning, this is going to be a LONG post lmao ive bolded exactly what each term means below, after which i go into more detail on the whole issue. this is something im passionate about so,,, ♥

queerbaiting specifically refers to a marketing technique in which creators hint at but dont actually depict a queer character or relationship. They do this in order to attract a queer audience with the suggestion of a character or relationship they can relate to, while also avoiding alienating their queerphobic audiences

queer coding is the subtextual coding of a character as queer through the use of things like metaphor, allegory, hinting, recognisable traits/stereotypes/experiences, etc. This is done to build believable characters and create more complex plot lines, and it is also regularly used by people who want to tell queer stories but are unable to do so explicitly. it CAN be used negatively to enforce damaging stereotypes, but that is just a small part of its usage

both of these things utilise subtext in order to work. subtext is not only a crucial part of the creation of any piece of media, but is impossible to avoid.

an example of the most basic types of subtext is when a character tells someone that everything is going to be okay, but you can tell they dont believe it. or when youre watching a story unfold and you suddenly connect the dots and realise whats going to happen before its explicitly stated - you used subtext and the hidden meanings and hints to figure it out!

the people involved w a piece of media create their story with a specific purpose or meaning in mind, and they construct the subtext of the story to reflect that purpose/meaning. HOWEVER, the viewers dont always see things the same!

your experiences and personality shape the way you view and interpret every piece of media you consume. if you hate cops youll see the insidious undertones in cop shows - if you grew up with an abusive parent youll see the biting implications in a characters dialogue that others find innocent - if youre queer you will search for and fine queer characters everywhere, regardless of the creators intentions

now, both queerbaiting and queer coding use subtext to function, right? so how do you know which is being used and whether or not its a bad thing? its all about intention

to give a specific explanation of the difference im going to use two examples that are (arguably) very similar in the way their queer characters became canon

example 1: adventure time featured the characters marceline and princess bubblegum, who have been forever depicted as a couple in fan content. their interactions in the show were read into and latched onto bc we saw ourselves in them and we saw it as positive queer rep. but their relationship was never explicitly discussed during the course of the show and was only confirmed at the end of the final episode.

that makes 10 seasons in which their relationship existed only in subtext, and when it did finally exist in canon it was only for a few minutes, if that.

example 2: supernatural featured the characters dean and castiel (lol) who have been depicted as a queer couple pretty much since the first episode cas appeared in. i personally hung on their every interaction, analysed every glance between them, bc i interpreted deans character as a parallel to my own childhood trauma.

cas joined the show in season 4, so that makes 11 seasons in which him being gay existed only in subtext, and when it was confirmed he was immediately cut out of the show. the exact nature of dean and castiels relationship still remains in subtext.

so why is it that adventure time is widely considered perfectly fine but supernatural is dunked on as being the poster boy for queerbaiting?

its bc adventure time involved queer creators and was an earnest representation of queer characters, but they were boxed in by their publisher, Cartoon Network and thus the only way for the relationship to exist in the show was through subtext.

supernatural, however, consistently neglected their queer character and employed transparent tropes and stereotypes - bringing him in just sparingly enough to keep queer audiences interested while never being gay enough to alienate their macho manly man queerphobe audiences. they would have dean and cas stare into each other eyes for a full 30 seconds and then almost immediately follow it up with an episode about dean banging a disposable female character.

so imho adventure time falls under queer subtext, and supernatural falls under queerbaiting

when it comes to a show like bbc merlin i see a lot of debate about whether or not its queer coding or queerbaiting, and my intention is not to convince you of either. merlin was very much a product of its time, and i have argued the same about seasons 4-6 of supernatural as well, before the queerbaiting escalated and became exhausting to me

the purpose of this post is to start giving you the information you need to analyse any piece of media and come to your OWN opinion as to whether or not its queerbaiting or whatever else

people will ALWAYS have differing opinions about this shit yall. i have debated so many times w so many people about where the line is and whats okay and what should be ‘cancelled’ and if consuming something deemed problematic makes you a bad person or not

and my conclusion?

if youre capable of acknowledging the flaws and issues w a piece of media without trying to defend it as a shining beacon of purity simply bc you like it, then you do you. enjoy whatever you want to enjoy - if i think its reprehensible i simply will never interact with you lol

at some point everyone has to stop regurgitating these generic woke speak cancel culture speeches and buzzwords and formulate their own opinions

my advice to anyone reading this is to learn how to do close reading (ill provide a link to a wonderful short guide on it in a reblog bc tumblr hates links) and start really considering where you draw the lines with all types of content. decide for yourself whether merlin or supernatural or adventure time crosses the line into content you cant stomach, but respect other people whose interpretations differ from yours

i know a HUGE amount of people think supernaturals confession scene was homophobic and toxic - a slap in the face - but when i watched it i saw myself reflected in dean. a repressed bisexual whose emotions had been stunted by lifelong trauma, who wasnt ready to face his feelings for cas but quickly realising that his chronic avoidance and fear was about to tear them apart possibly forever. to me it was tragic and beautiful, and i loved it

i also think merlin is a tragic and beautiful love story, and to me its a pivotal piece of queer media that changed the way i viewed love and made me believe that it was a possibility for me bc i related so deeply to arthur

i hope that you can draw a satisfying answer from this, anon, and i apologise for this post being a full essay lol but i believe it needed to be said - i dont think there is a right or wrong answer here

#long post #bbc merlin #merlin #supernatural #adventure time #subtext #queerbaiting #queer coding #frog talks #anon #ask

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cajunquandary · 3 years

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A Beacon to Beasts

AO3 Link (in the works, check back later)

Summary: While Dean is in Purgatory, he comes across some interesting monsters who help him through.

Created for @spndarkbingo

Square Filled: Fornication

Rating: R (18+ ONLY)

Pairing: Dean x Reader x Benny

Warnings: Dark Fic. Canon level violence, SMUT (p in v, biting, anal, oral, dp, unprotected sex *dont be silly wrap the willy,* all the smut, also I might be developing a praise!kink here??), angst, traumatic memories. If you squint: suicide, Destiel, Denny

Word Count: 7600

A/N: Originally published in early 2017, this is a total rewrite with the tremendous help of @thinkinghardhardlythinking and @wonder-cole. You talented bitches. I love you.

Lightning spider-webbed across the sky, for a brief moment illuminating every shadow across Purgatory. The forest practically hissed in the unwelcome brightness as the trees whispered amongst themselves. A crack of thunder caused a quake larger than you’d felt in the god forsaken land ever before. It cracked the sound barrier, bent the hellscape reality at all of its slithering edges, and sent a shockwave so powerful it nearly tore apart every cell in your body. With an eerie silence, darkness fell again, and as your eyes adjusted, you could see that the beast attacking you was fleeing the other direction from whence it’d come—no, not fleeing. It was chasing the impact.

Something pulled in your chest like a red-hot meat hook, something that sent sparks of electricity straight into your brain and signaling an overwhelming raw need. You were familiar with such will-crushing lust. Your fangs were proof. But this… this was stronger than anything you’d ever felt before. It nearly drove you mad. You could feel your mind slipping, until you took a step forward, then another, and another. The more you walked towards the source of the prior disturbance, the more sated you felt. The more whole.

It took weeks of fighting others like you and endless backtracking to find the source—a vampire and another beast. It was a bit like a human, but no humans could be in Purgatory. Whatever it was, it was intoxicating.

Your body shuddered at the proximity of the delicious flesh. The warmth. You were merely a moth, drawn to a flame of your own destruction. Your head swam and you reached towards the man, but another fang sped from the shadows opposite you first. This was just enough of a distraction to pull you back from the brink.

You crouched behind a half-rotten tree, only one eye peeking from behind your cover. The human barely had time to react before the fiend had him forced into the well-trodden packed earth. His fall was hard. Your mouth watered as his pulse quickened and echoed through your soul.

The vampire accompanying the human sent the attacker’s head flying so closely that spattered monster blood landed on your hand. The foul stench drove you deeper into the safety of the trunk. You didn’t want to be next.

In this land, the best way to survive was to stay hidden, quiet, so you decided to follow them for the first few weeks, being careful to keep to the shadows. The thirst for the human ebbed and swelled unpredictably. At times, it was all you could do to resist the pulse exposed on his neck, especially when the man slept.

For days you tried to figure out what the other one was, who he was, but damn, was he a monster magnet. You’d been in pretty thick shit before, but never like this. Your cover was nearly blown a few times a day, but you were thankful the two were too busy fighting their own to notice you.

“Damn, man. You’re humanity is gon get us kilt.” The vampire wiped the rancid blood from his blade on the latest dead monster’s shirt.

“Yeah well, as soon as we find Cas, we’re getting the hell out of hell.” A human in Purgatory? How? No wonder there had been such a disturbance. He must have been pulled here by a great force--one that very nearly ripped the entire existence apart.

“Hey brother, I’m startin to think the angel don’t wanna be found. Dean, think about it. Every time we get close, he disappears again.”

“Benny—don’t.” The human stormed away from the vampire. What was going on? A human and an angel? Things must be getting really messy up top.

The vampire, Benny, turned suddenly in your direction, and you closed your eyes, hoping the thick layer of leaves and thorny bushes camouflaged you well enough. It must have, because he merely shrugged and walked after Dean.

This night was the quietest it had been since The Event. It had been hours since the last monster attack and you were almost as exhausted as they looked. It wasn’t long before the men settled down into the dust and a pile of dry brush and began to lightly snore. Usually one stood guard as the other slept, but on this occasion, both must have been too far gone to care.

You crept slowly forward, focused completely on the human. He was so beautiful. The creases of his forehead were reduced to fine lines as he slumbered, slow, tender breath fluttering across weary-pale swollen lips, freckles and mud mixed on his cheeks, hair tousled and bloodied, yet still so soft and shiny. His lashes twitched as he dreamed. You were only a few feet away now, beginning to feel lost in the warmth radiating from him, drunk in the light from his soul.

A sharp pain through your side interrupted your trance and you collapsed into a prickly shrub. Between gulps of agony, you could just make out that you were pinned to the ground with a rough makeshift javelin, reminiscent of a butterfly pinned to a shadow box as you’d owned as a human. You screamed in pain, and if you weren’t already twice dead, you’d worry about losing too much blood.

A pair of boots came into your view. “I smelled you days ago. I know you’ve been followin’ us. Why haven’t you attacked? You workin for someone?”

You looked from under your brows, straining to see if Dean was still where he had been, but found nothing. All you could do was gasp shallowly against the burning splinters. It had been years since anyone had gotten the jump on you like this. The bit of human that was left within you prayed that this was a bad dream, that you would wake in a moment in the gently swaying safety of the treetops.

The javelin was ripped from your aching side, and you screamed again as your organs smacked back together in the loss of pressure. The vampire threw you against the nearest tree. Through the pain that overwhelmed your ability to flee, you watched in utter captivation as the human secured you with heavy, rusted chains.

The latter bent close to your face, piercing green eyes a stark contrast to the caked mud and blood spattered across pale cheeks. “Now look, you piece of shit. I’m gonna waste you like I’ve wasted every damn thing in this place. But first, you’re gonna tell me where the angel is, and why you’ve been following us. If I like your answer, I’ll make it quick. If not… well, I don’t normally like the answers.” He smirked, tilting his head just slightly as if he was considering just how he was going to end you.

You gulped hard knowing the human meant business. You’d seen him firsthand, the violence, the rage. All this man left behind him were wide trails of blood.

You were shaking now, feverish and confused. When had your fangs come out? You retracted them in an attempt to look less intimidating and more cooperative. Between gritted teeth and a gradual tunneling of vision, you managed to respond. “I’ve been tracking you since you arrived. There was this storm, and I’ve felt a pull towards you the whole time. I-I don’t work for anyone, I swear.” His gnarly blade pressed into the soft flesh of your throat now and panic was rising and threatening to close off your throat if the blade didn’t do it first. “I didn’t even know about the angel until earlier today when I overheard you.”

“Well. I don’t think I like your answer.” Dean sliced deeply into your arm, which produced a guttural scream from deep within your core. The blade itself didn’t hurt that bad, but whatever was on it sure did. Benny walked away, knowing what was coming. Benny was a monster—Dean was worse.

“P-please I don’t know, I just know the light—your soul is like a candle in this endless darkness. I’ve been here for so, so long and you feel like home, like safety. I crave your closeness and I don’t know the details of why, but I couldn’t hurt you.”

Benny looked over his shoulder as Dean paused. Something struck a chord. Benny walked back over and pulled Dean slightly off to the side, almost out of earshot.

“Brother, I think she’s tellin’ the truth. We should give this one a chance to talk.”

“Why? She doesn’t know anything about Cas. She’s just another monster in my way.”

“And so was I. We were both human once. Let’s hear her out. She hasn’t even fought back.”

The fatigue and injuries caught up with you. Focusing on the thick red-black ooze streaming from your wounds, sleep was finding you swiftly with your head falling forward, blood-soaked hair in your eyes and chest pulled tight against the restraints.

Dean lifted your chin with the end of his blade, remnants of your internals still glistening on the edge. Your eyes followed the length of his arm to his face where he held you in an unwavering gaze. Those eyes were greener than anything in this world—more than the trees you hid in, the brush around you, or the sparse grass beneath your feet.

You seized your breath and relaxed your tense muscles. If this was finally what wiped you into oblivion, it would be okay, as long as you could stare into those eyes. After all, you were tired of fighting. Your mortal soul had been tired in life, grown wearier after you were turned, another century had passed before you’d been sent here after a hunter took you out. The memory flashed by: how you sat there on your knees, glad to be facing the barrel of the gun after so long that you didn’t even fight. Had you known you’d end up here, you may have fought more to stay topside. But now, you faced oblivion, or so you hoped. This would finally be the end of the suffering, the fighting.

Dean must have read the all-too-familiar look of defeat and acceptance in your face. He lowered the knife, letting your head fall forward again, and caught you in his arms as the chains broke and clattered to the dust.

He leaned you against the base of the tree. You weakly gazed upward through hooded eyes, wanting to see past the leaves to the empty sky, but couldn’t. It was all grisly branches for a hundred feet up.

“Why were you creeping up on me?” Dean pulled your attention back to them.

Battling the unconsciousness that nipped unwaveringly at the corners of your mind, you whispered, “The ache in my chest… the closer I get to you, the easier it is to handle. I wasn’t going to hurt you, I just needed to be... closer.”

“And is this better?” He motioned to the foot’s distance between you.

“Yeah,” You half-smiled through gritted teeth, the pain from your side still throbbing. It wouldn’t kill you. Nothing in Purgatory killed a monster except another monster—usually by beheading. It still hurt like a bitch, though, and left you exposed and vulnerable like a wounded animal.

He pursed his lips and shared a look with Benny, who shrugged. “I’ll stay up and watch, Dean. You get more rest before it starts again. And I’ll watch you, specifically.” The other vampire motioned at you, an intensity behind his blue eyes you could identify with. This human was meant to be protected, no matter the personal cost.

Dean was soon asleep again, his back turned to you.

The earth supporting your broken form was anything but forgiving. But still, you weren’t going to waste time whimpering to yourself now that you were a part of the misfit group. “Benny, where are you from? How long have you been here?” You wondered aloud.

He eyed you suspiciously, pausing before he answered. “I ran with a crew out of Louisiana, but we sailed all over the Americas. Been here a long time.”

You adjusted your position with a grunt. Benny’s hand was already on his weapon. “Calm down, sailor, just tryin to get comfortable... I’m from Shreveport. Been here a long time, too. Only did about two centuries up top, though.”

“Well, I’ve got a few on you then, sister. Shreveport was nice. Rolled through there a few times.” The vampire chuckled at the memory.

Even still, your body had different plans for the evening, and if anything else was said afterwards, you wouldn’t remember. Rest was in the cards that evening, even if your mind protested. Between stretches of sweet nothing, nightmarish memories flashed by in haphazard, non-chronological snippets.

There you stood, on the bridge above deep, twisting waters. Though the wind whipped your hair wildly, you could feel nothing. Not since the day you were bit.

Then you were in the shed on your grandfather’s land, centuries before, when you were young but still so old. Had you ever had a chance? And there were fires and anthills, guns and chains.

Before that one could go where you knew it would, you shot awake. Benny raised a concerned brow in your direction, but you couldn’t face him. Not after that. Within moments, sleep took you once again.

The butterfly pinned in the box. Such a stark contrast was that orange and red and blue against the green felt and the glint of silver pins. You would chuckle at the sight if you could. Tiny fingers traced the outline of the glass.

Then you were on your knees. You didn’t even fight. This? This was the day you died… the second time. By the hands of an inexperienced young hunter who was too focused on fighting with his dad to even notice you there. I mean, he practically tripped over you. The boy looked tall for his age, hazel eyes partially obscured by choppy bangs and mouth pressed into a thin line. He hesitated too long. You’d cocked your head to the side, wondering if he even had it in him to off you, and you almost felt sorry for the kid. Especially when his dad saw. The old black-haired ass berated him, belittled him. Compared him to his older brother. A disgrace, he’d said. Nothing like him, nothing like Mary. When the boy could look you in the eyes, you gave a slight nod as if to say, “It’s okay, I forgive you.” Those bright hazel eyes morphed into the moon cast over a monster wasteland.

By morning’s light, you felt better, somewhat healed, but mostly sore. You and Benny spoke all the while, learned your ins and outs, and caught up on the situation with Dean, the toothy leviathans, the apocalypse (again), the dick angels, and everything else Dean had filled him in on weeks ago. If you weren’t in Purgatory yourself, you never would’ve believed all this. I mean, angels? C’mon.

Sure enough, Benny was right. Beasts continued to attack in waves. There were a few close calls, and not one would speak of the whereabouts of the angel Castiel, though a few tried to save themselves by spouting lies. Dean would see right through them. It only ever took one question. “What color are the angel’s eyes?” A few had gotten lucky and guessed blue, but Dean didn’t even accept that answer. You asked once, what answer he was hoping for. He only shook his head in response.

There were times, though, when he would describe Cas to you in the quiet of night, and it was like listening to a lost lover. Dean gave in after some months and described the angel’s eyes as full of grace, blue, but slightly glowing. And not just any blue, no. The bluest blue you could ever imagine. The purest blue. He spoke longingly about things they’d done, things he wanted to do, wanted to say. Needed to say. You would close your eyes and drift off to him mumbling stories of Cas, the fondness softening his voice.

It was dark again and the almost empty end of a particularly difficult day. You’d all sustained serious injuries from the violent fray that only seemed to become more dense as of late. You and Benny would heal quickly, but Dean wouldn’t… and you worried for him, lingering protectively close.

The weary hunter screamed in time with the monster as he thrust his knife through its eye, his voice echoing long after the lifeless body crumpled in front of him. In a rage, he threw his weapon down, stalking over to a nearby tree. He punched, kicked and threw himself against the bark until he was nearly bloodied beyond recognition. Benny could only look down, powerless to help his friend. Unable to watch any longer, you forced yourself between Dean and the tree. His eyes were closed until his bruised fists struck soft skin stretched over bone, the unexpected change in texture catching him off guard. You winced against it but grabbed his jacket in both hands, balling your own fists into it to hold him firmly in place. Jerking him forward until you were nose to nose, breath and blood mixing, you growled, “We will find him, Dean. But not if you kill yourself first.”

“Y-you sound like him,” His voice cracked and his head fell to your shoulder. You could feel his tears, hot on your frozen skin. This world was so cold and it never ceased to amaze you how he kept his warmth. You held him tightly, even as his knees buckled and swayed. By the state of those green eyes, you could see resignation and defeat creeping up on him.

You shared a look with Benny, and he knew, too. “I’ll keep watch. You make him rest, cher.” You’d come to learn that Benny preferred to keep watch from all the years he’d had to watch his own backside here. You’d survived in hiding, while he’d made a name for himself—a killer, like Dean (not that either of them ever wanted to be.) You had to give it to him, though. After all, you’d tried to fight off everything in the beginning, but it was too tiring, like living was. So instead, you learned to thrive in shadows and whispers, moving like a ghost through whispers of the trees.

You were grateful for the moment alone with the warm beacon of a man, though. If the electricity across your skin anytime you touched the human indicated anything, it was a confirmation of your heart’s longing. You kept him pulled flush against your chest, his heartbeat so strong that it reverberated through your body. You focused on the feeling. How many centuries had it been since you felt your own beating? Dean’s was so strong it could surely support you both, you thought.

With a groan, Dean pulled the two of you down into a horizontal heap. You couldn’t make out the details of his face in the dark abyss of night, but his heart rate had shifted notably, along with his breathing. His anguish was palpable and you couldn’t help but to take some of it on as your own. He exuded it, it leaked from every pore.

Supple lips brushed against yours, and you closed your eyes, slowly guiding one hand to his back above you and the other through his hair. It was as soft and silky as you’d hoped it was. You pulled just slightly, allowing your nails to gently spread and retract in circular motions. Dean clenched, the softest sounds carrying on the thick night air. Smiling at the reaction, you carded through the messy spikes and repeated the measure for several moments before Dean crashed into you, with his sudden need matching yours. Every kiss grew deeper, longer, and your tongues began to wrestle gently but urgently between locked lips. He grabbed at you hungrily with a certain ease, unable to hold back anymore, with palms stroking openly up and down your torso, until they slipped below your core.

You both pushed and pulled, wallowed and rolled, careful of injuries but powerless to pull away, fighting to get closer. You helped him slip from his leather jacket, and he groaned into your mouth with a tantalising mixture of pain and pleasure. The sound made you shiver, and you hastily removed yourselves from worn and tattered pants, breaking only for a moment.

“Shh, Dean,” you whispered next to his ear. He nodded, understanding that even in this embrace, you were exposed and hunted. But with skin on skin, it was difficult to keep logic and sanity at the forefront of your mind.

Dean slowed his pace and shifted until you were straddling him. With a touch so light it tickled, he let his hands trace every angle of your body, until he felt the latest wound and drew back suddenly.

“It’s okay,” you breathed into his gaping mouth.

“No, I-- I’m sorry.” His voice was feeble, desperate.

Taking his hand in yours, you placed it back where it’d been. It was a small gesture, but the effect it had on Dean was profound. With both hands now, he clutched your sides so tightly, it sent swells of something delicious straight to your center, before rippling out to every nerve ending exposed to the cool air, and then some.

Just as you began to give in, a rustle from only several feet away snapped you back to reality. You shot up upon bare feet, weapon already in your hand as you scanned the malevolent shadows for the source, listening and feeling for any shift in the air. Dean lay frozen by your feet, head still spinning in weakness and lust.

In a swift turn on the balls of your feet, you faced the intruder, ready for war.

“It’s just me, cher. I heard something and wanted to make sure you two were okay.” As Benny took in the situation, he laughed softly. “Sorry to interrupt. I’ll be over there…”

With an annoyed frown, you allowed your stance to go slack. “Thanks.”

Dean touched your leg, leaning in to kiss it lightly before planting a little nibble at your ankle. You slipped back down next to him, gasping when he quickly found your neck and nipped along your clavicle to the sweet spot in the hollow of your neck.

He was shaking slightly under the strain, but lifted himself atop you. To help keep him steady, you placed your hands on his shoulders and wrapped your legs around his torso. With a grateful kiss, he traced his tongue across your bottom lips as he lined himself at your entrance.

His tip sank into your soaked folds and his resulting keen made you tremble beneath him, itching for more. “Dean, p-please…”

“What do you want?”

You rotated your hips against his, fighting to make him move. “Please, fuck… Dean I need you. Need more.”

Your begging tore his resolve to shreds and he sunk into you, stretching and filling you like nothing ever before. Your back arched at the sensations as they nearly overwhelmed you, drowning out the hell around you and leaving only Dean. Your heavy breathing barely registered as you whined his name. A shallow shriek betrayed you. Dean placed a calloused hand over your mouth, and it only drove you more mad.

As he bottomed out and began short but powerful thrusts, tears gathered at the edges of your eyes. Everytime, he hit that sweet spot. Everytime, you whimpered into his hand and dug your fingers into his flesh tighter. Everytime, he moaned in response.

It wasn’t long before those slow, drawn out jolts coiled you so tight you could barely contain yourself. Dean could sense the change as you began to rub against him, allowing the friction to take you over the edge. Right as you fell off into a fierce and roiling sea of ecstasy, Dean replaced his hand over your mouth with his own, swallowing your choppy breaths as you twitched and spasmed beneath him.

Still lost in the swell, you felt the hunter release and fall, spent, onto your chest. You managed to wrap your arms around him and held him steadfastly, not ready to let go. It was incredible to watch Dean unravel and relax for the first time. In fact, it’d just become your favorite drug.

Unknown to the broken lovers, a pair of “gorilla-wolves” attempted to interrupt throughout the steamy romp in the leaves, but Benny quickly took care of them. The nasty things wouldn’t have gotten as close as they had, but the vampire had been distracted by the sinfully delicious sounds coming from the far side of the tree. He’d tried to ignore it at first but found his mind wandering. It’d been ages since he’d felt the touch of another being, and the want rose up in him, a fire in his stomach.

You panted next to Dean when he rolled to the side, your injuries far from mind in the lasting rapture from being one with the human. His breathing was still ragged, but slowing. The wound on the back of his shoulder had reopened. Begrudgingly , he let you patch it again. Once dressed, you fell back to the sorry bed of leaves. Dean nuzzled into your side and let out a pained sigh as sleep found him. You could’ve sworn you heard the faintest “Don’t let me die here…” fall from his lips. Your grip on him tightened. You’d get him out if it killed you. But first, you had to find that elusive angel.

It was another month of the same routine. Days and nights ran together. The closer you got to the angel, the denser the swarm of monsters was. Even Benny seemed to be on his last leg. You offered to keep watch this time. At first Benny protested, but you shut him down.

“It’s broad daylight out here. I can see them coming from far enough off, I can give you plenty of time to wake up and fight if I can’t handle it. Don’t worry.”

He didn’t feel like protesting too much, and finally nodded, sad blue eyes locking on yours in a silent promise of trust in comradery.

A few hours passed, and you stood to stretch. A twig snapped behind you, and you twirled quickly, your knife to Benny’s throat. His hands raised. “Sorry cher, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Nearly lost your fool head. Why aren’t you resting?” You dropped your arms and stood next to the vampire, staring out through the forest again, scanning. Listening.

“I rested enough.”

“Right, that’s why you have to use that tree to support yourself.” His lips pressed into a hard smile, electric eyes dropping to the ground. When he looked back up, something in them had changed. He reached towards you, hesitant, and brushed the wavy mess of hair from your face behind your ear, hand gently gliding across your jaw until his thumb rested on your lip.

You closed your eyes and shuddered under the vampire’s touch. It was more familiar than Dean’s. You leaned into it, following as it guided you into his embrace. He was larger than Dean and still smelled of the swamp and sea. The scent was intoxicating, dragging all of your attention to Benny.

He pulled back for a moment and cradled your face in the large, thick hands of a sailor. “You okay with this? Don’t want you to feel pressured, darlin’.”

“Mm not pressured,” you smiled up into those spirited sharp blue eyes. You lost yourself in them, completely ensnared. You could see past them, to cerulean glittering waters, could feel the lapping of them against your old boat, hear the seagulls and crows chattering as they glided on heatwaves, taste the salt on your tongue.

You stretched up on your tiptoes, craning to taste the salt on his lips, feel the waves in the way his tongue twists. Benny must have felt the same, as he met your parted lips in a feverish kiss, maneuvering you effortlessly between himself and the tree for support until he was rutting into you.

The touch was bittersweet and starved, driving both of you as you stripped away layers. Benny pressed into you until the bark bit into your back and arms. You knocked the hat from atop his head to get closer, to guide him in, and he responded by taking the thin flesh of your neck into his mouth. Fangs drug thin scratch lines over your chest and shoulders, followed by sucking kisses. Benny grunted as he settled next to your ear, the growing bulge in his remaining trousers becoming almost painful in the restriction.

Sensing this, you moved to loosen the last piece of his clothing until it slumped to his ankles, all the while raw, needy noises spilled from your mouth. If only you’d found each other topside, things would have been better. You wouldn’t have let that young, long-haired hunter boy and his grumpy father kill you.

In one smooth move, Benny hooked his fingers into your jeans and slid them off, until you were completely free of them. With lust in your eyes, you found his full lips once more. You bit and sucked at his bottom lip until he was throbbing against you and whispering your name in short breaths in desperation.

With a slight adjustment in position, he grabbed your ribcage and lifted you just enough to line himself at your entrance. Hungrily, you raised your knees and rested them on his sides. You dug your nails into his shoulders in anticipation, but he didn’t keep you waiting long. With a final shift of his angle, Benny slid into you unrestrained.

His pace was unforgiving. He was rougher, more desperate, yet somehow more controlled than Dean. Pain was something you both knew too well, and found pleasure in at this moment. Neither of you had to hold back in fear of hurting the other.

Benny muttered a long string of praises as he placed his cheek on yours and relished in the fragmented breaths and mewls leaking from your gaping mouth.

Between the friction to your front and the sharp ache in your back, the intense set of his pace brought unwanted tears to the corners of your eyes. Before you knew it, he had you biting back a scream as you came in his arms, your back digging into the tree as he held you through it. You sank your teeth into his neck, drawing blood and pushing back the sharper set as they threatened to emerge. He snarled into your ear and released, standing for a moment, relishing in your closeness.

For a time, you just remained in that position as he softened inside you, foreheads resting fondly on each other.

Dean stirred, grumbling as he woke. With a silently shared promise to continue the embrace another day, the two of you straightened yourselves back out and rounded the tree to greet the sleep-starved human.

Over the next two weeks, the three of you grew much closer. Sometimes in between attacks, you took solace in each other. Most times it was talk, but when words were too difficult and your bodies needed to feel something… else, something primal and good and pure, they would pass you between them, never straying too far.

Benny's eyes would always drift and land upon Deans. It intoxicated him, pulled at his heart in ways that tore him apart. Deep green eyes, full of hope and goodness and humanity… something fragile yet unbreakable, much like what he once saw in Andrea’s. Just like Andrea’s. As much as he tried to put her memory to rest, Dean’s gaze would always take his breath, whether they were fighting or fucking, and the feelings that washed over Benny were wild and raw.

You ventured off to scout ahead one day, leaving Benny to help Dean walk after a surprise run in with a gorilla wolf didn’t fare so well. Those things sure liked Dean. Could you blame them? As you cleared the spaces ahead, you reminisced on the first time it happened.

It’d started innocently enough, some kissing and tender touches traded between you and Dean. You craved comfort, and his touch never disappointed. The fading daylight illuminated something… different, something new in his eyes. There was a spark of acceptance? Resignation? You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but for some reason the usually tightly wound hunter was relaxed. His movements were delicate and slow, a stark contrast to the usual quickie on the run.

You nearly lost your balance when he stripped your pants away and traced deliberate sucking kisses down to your sweet spot. You’d had to catch yourself from falling over at the heady sensations, threading your hands into his hair and holding on for dear life (or death.) Within moments, Benny swooped in to support you from behind, snaking a strong arm around your stomach as Dean began to lick and hum and stroke you in ways you’d never felt. Your blood burned like fire, causing every inch of your skin to become more sensitive.

Benny brushed the hair from your shoulder with his free hand, then took a fistful of it and guided your head back. With a contented sigh, he took your exposed neck into his mouth and you twitched violently between the shivers running down and the heat rising up. The contrast of Dean’s soft lips to the burn of his stubble mirrored that of the rough, blood soaked fabric of Benny’s jacket against the smooth of your skin… and it drove you mad. Your vision swelled with every wave and the sounds of the cursed world around you faded as if cotton had been shoved in your ears.

Your legs gave way and you fell into Dean’s lap as he chuckled, watching you come undone. The orgasm hit you somewhere along the way down, untouched but wound so tightly that you couldn’t hold out another moment.

While you writhed against him, Dean held you securely to his chest with arms that crushed into your ribs and pinned your arms to your sides. Your head finally came to rest upon his shoulder, and as your senses eased back into focus, you realized that you were completely laid down upon his bare chest. Still buzzing from the high, you nuzzled into the crook of his neck and laid a small peck. Dean’s resulting smile stretched wide, and you could feel it there without even needing to see it.

“You okay, baby?” Dean gently stroked your back up and down with one hand, and moved to tangle strong fingers in your hair to hold the base of your head tenderly with the other.

When you found your voice, you muttered a small, “yeah, thank you.”

Benny kneeled beside you and lowered his face until your foreheads met, the three of you so impossibly close. “You up for some more, sugar?”

You smiled wryly and closed your eyes. “Yeah, I’m all yours.”

Though your limbs were but heavy gelatin, you managed to lift out of your shirt as the men undressed. Pulling Dean’s discarded coat over you like a blanket, you rested against a fallen tree and admired them. Dean was more slender, but faster and stronger. The way his muscles rippled and creased beneath pale, freckled skin reminded you of a swimmer--all lean and mean. He was graceful in every movement, like a dancer. Benny was a little more solid, built like a tank. Maybe he wasn’t as fast, but there was no going through him. You’d seen beasts hit him straight on with full power, and the vampire had barely flinched. Those fists could break anything, but his face was always… soft. Kind. Dean’s was hardened, but you couldn’t blame him. And yes, there were moments, like this, where the lines of his face smoothed, and some color returned to his cheeks.

How you’d ever found Heaven in this Hell, you’d never come to understand. But you were ever grateful. Hopeful for a future with them topside, however it may go.

Dean’s outstretched hand pulled you from your daydream. You took it, letting the jacket go as he helped you stand. As you stood, he continued to pull you forward until you were flush with him. He pressed a firm kiss to your scalp and rubbed his palms up and down your body. His cock twitched against your belly, and you wrapped your arms around him, squeezing just a little tighter at the new flood of arousal.

Benny snaked his arms around you from behind, until his hands rested on your neck, not gripping, but just *there.* The weight of them naturally guided your head to fall back against his chest. He growled into your ear, “You’re so fucking beautiful. So good for us, cher.”

Your mouth fell agape and released a strangled moan as Dean kissed along your exposed neck and mumbled a steady stream of “You’re such a good girl for us, such a good fighter, a great companion.”

With every word, a new fire raged through your veins. Your face burned hot. Dean’s hands wandered south, caressing every inch passionately. One hand found its home grasping your thigh right under your ass, and the other came to rest in your dripping folds. You bucked against the touch and right into Benny’s length resting between your cheeks.

You whimpered, needing more, needing release. “D-Dean please, fuck. I need you. I want you inside me, please--unnghh.”

Dean teased your entrance for a moment more before the wrecked look on your face and the subtle, high pitched sounds spilling from you completely enraptured him. Benny nodded, moving his hands to steady your sides as you squirmed uncontrollably. With a swift movement, you were raised up with both of Dean’s hands cupping and spreading your ass until he lined up at your folds and let you sink down much too slowly.

Pathetic cries filled the air as you struggled to maintain control, the stretch of him almost too much to handle and not nearly enough all at once. You shook and grabbed at anything you could hold with a flutter in your chest that threatened to make you implode. And yet, the intense feelings only grew. Benny planted himself and anchored with a strong arm outstretched and clutching to Dean’s shoulder.

Dean bit his lip fiercely and let out a pained groan at the other man’s unyielding hold on him. His cock twitched again as he bottomed out deep inside you. The depth burned and ached, and with it your eyes came to focus on Dean’s.

The emerald green was more prominent now, outlined by the hot blush beneath a spray of freckles. His brows were drawn tightly and jaw slack, full, pink lips parted in bliss. His breathing was erratic, and with every intake of cool evening air, Dean trembled.

You mewled and whined, shifted against them, desperate for friction. The slightest broken smile graced the hunter’s face and he nodded, knowing but not yet ready.

Tears already began to gather as you fought the urge to physically fight the men into submission, to finally scratch that itch. Benny didn’t leave you waiting much longer though, before he was slipping and pushing into place in your ass. The deliberate burn of him spreading you open opposite Dean left you thrashing between them.

Dean took a deep breath in as a reminder for you to do the same. If it weren’t for him grounding you and helping you through, the black void would’ve already sucked you in as another victim. You did your best to relax and bore down, allowing Benny to fill your other hole completely to his base.

The vampire grimaced through his own keening, the tightness of you nearly sending him over the edge right there and then. You stilled between them, already on the verge of destruction as the three of you adjusted to the new feelings washing over you in waves.

Dean’s lips found yours, open and wanting. Taking his tongue hungrily into your mouth, you sucked and fell absolutely limp as he sucked your lower lip between his. The scent of him was utterly intoxicating, and you were ready once more.

Benny began to move in tandem with Dean. With every movement of the both of them against your thin membrane, a wailing cry seeped between your clenched teeth. Benny was now clutching both of Dean’s shoulders so tightly that were white bloodless patches beneath each of his fingertips. This made Dean buck harder until the hunter’s eyes shut tightly and left his head bobbing backwards in lust.

The symphony of your cries was lost beneath those of the two men, who shuddered and swayed. The sweet, sinful music flooded your mind and sent you reeling over the edge once more, clenching and swearing and falling against Benny’s outstretched arm.

Dean’s thrusts faltered as his stuttered, “I’m.. I’m about to--”

“Just let go, brother,” Benny encouraged.

It was the only confirmation Dean needed before his load spilled into you, sending renewed longing to your stomach as he pulsed inside you. “Fuck Dean,.. You feel so good,” you managed.

Benny came seconds later, and you relished in the full warmth of them.

You smiled to yourself as the familiar electricity flooded your veins and leaked to your core. It may have been the first time, but every time since had only been… better. Impossibly, incredibly better.

Upon your return, you noticed that Dean had found new strength.

“We’re closer than ever to Cas, he’s three days away by the river. We’re almost done! We can go home!” Dean was grinning widely, a spark finally back in his tired eyes.

You smiled, scooping him into a rough embrace. If Dean was happy, you were happy. Benny joined you in the bear hug. You were so ready to be topside again, and now, it was so close you could just taste it.

Your second chance.

With a start, Benny hollered and let go, leaving Dean tense and alert in your arms. Then, he threw you to the side as a beast attacked. Its whole face morphed into a shark-tooth ringed mouth, and you grimaced.

Leviathan. You must’ve been really close to that angel.

You drew your weapon as one engaged you, swung and lopped its head off easily after years of practice, until something glinting and sharp emerged where it should not have been.

You looked down, the blade bloodied and protruding through your chest, through your lungs. Unable to draw a breath, you fell to your knees.

“No!” Both Benny and Dean were yelling, voices echoing through the hostile forest. Black ooze covered them from the slain monsters. You looked up as your assailant withdrew the sizable knife from your back and placed it against your neck. It was another vampire. You looked back to the boys.

“You killed our sister, so now we’re gonna kill yours,” the voice behind you teased in a sing-songy tone. More boots shuffled into your line of view.

Benny looked absolutely broken as he charged, extra teeth bared sharply in defiance. Dean bounded to you, holding your gaze with those emerald green eyes as he expertly dodged the advances of his adversaries.

Once again, your breath was seized and you relaxed your tense muscles. If this was finally what wiped you into oblivion, it would be okay, as long as you could stare into the comforting depths of that hunter’s eyes. After all, you were tired of fighting…This would finally be the end of the suffering. To oblivion. The warmth from Dean’s soul flooded over you as he got closer, but it was too late.

Your head rolled from your body.

Dean decimated the group of vampires in record time, the rage fully restored and urging his body forward against all odds. Once again, the hunter had become more vicious than any monster in the land. In two days, he would limp to the river and find his angel.

You, however, woke on the other side of Purgatory. Oblivion was not something that would ever come for you. There would never be a release. Despair, overcoming any hope you ever had, creeped its dark tendrils through your entire being and swiped your feet from underneath you. So that’s what happens to monsters who die in monster heaven… they get respawned and zapped to another part. Great. You were stuck in hell, too far away now to reach them in time. One day you would find a way out. You had to. But first, you would have to find the strength. Strength you may never have again. You curled into a ball, mind silent as you gave into the feeling, a single, small tear streaking a thin line from your eye into the dust.

You were alone. Again.

Your second chance gone along with the human and his friends.

This was my second attempt at writing smut and maybe I got carried away??

WAYWARD PEEPS:

@carryonmywaywardcaptain @manawhaat @supernatural-jackles @jensen-jarpad @wheresthekillswitch @bummblebeeblue @nothin-after-79-blog @docharleythegeekqueen @fangirl-writing-fiction @inmysparetime0 @impala-dreamer @arryn-nyxx @idk-life01 @attorneyl @deathtonormalcy56 @xwing-baby @wonder-cole @itsangelpie-supports @thinkinghardhardlythinkingogblog@icecream-and-gadreel

ANGST BABES:

@trexrambling @abbessolute @emptywithout

ALL ABOUT THAT DEAN:

@akshi8278 @will-winchester

#spndarkbingo #2020-21 #beacon to beasts #dean x reader #benny x reader #dean x reader x benny #smut #read the warnings #chris writes sometimes #supernatural #spn fanfic #spn smut #dean smut #benny smut #dean winchester x you #benny lafitte

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caswlw · 3 years

Text

thinking about the sobbing on the floor moment and what had to have come after.. where we don’t know how long he was sitting there and how long he straight up ignored sam’s calls and how long it took for him to Move after attempting to digest That moment

where he doesn’t realize until he’s walking past a mirror on his way out that there’s a handprint on his shoulder and it all comes crashing back and he has to Take a second to breathe bc it hurts so bad and he knows that sam and jack dont know so he has to get to them but he also can’t seem to start the car without thinking of cas not being right beside him

where the music starts playing a song from The mixtape and he has to turn it off entirely bc thinking about Him for one more second will absolutely shatter him and he can’t Remember the last time he sobbed on the floor like that- phone now scratched up a little more from tossing it and he just steels himself in the car because he Knows what they’re up against and can’t break when god is on the horizon so when he finally meets up with sam and jack he just gives them the bones of what happened bc the speech is still running through his head but the minute it slips out of his own mouth he’s done for

so he drinks and he doesn’t sleep in his own room but instead on the floor of the main room bc walking past another mirror is just punishing himself and he likes the burn of alcohol better and he keeps his mouth shut until that call comes and it’s hope all over again and the stairs are tall but he goes three at a time bc what if what if- and then it’s Not him it’s all a Trick and he has to compose himself again bc now there’s another issue but god if he wasn’t thinking of him enough it’s certainly more Now but he can’t say Anything and when jack takes over he’s stumbling and making jokes but then jack- oh jack so like him and yet so different- says he’s Leaving Leaving and it crashes all back again and he misses it he misses the chance to just Ask and so they go back to the bunker with two less than before

and now comes the silence that isn’t loaded with him sitting on that chair in the corner of his room or knowing that even if they’re mad at each other he’s still Out there- it’s just silent and Dead and sam doesn’t ask at first but he watches as they run dry of alcohol and the fact that they haven’t had a conversation together in days but that dog they took home gets hugs and love bc if dean didn’t need stability before.. but things start looking up after a week of holding miracle close and filling up his voicemail inbox with midnight sobs and instead turns to what could make life better bc he would want that- he would want him to Live and try to be happy, right?

and he thinks. cas didn’t know cas didn’t know god i should’ve said something in purgatory god cas didn’t know and i should’ve said something he didn’t Know and it runs through this head screaming alongside the last words cas ever spoke to him and it’s Loud the same way that it was a few years ago- but a few years ago he had the body he had someone to blame but knowing it was himself and the fact that cas’s love for Him was what did him in is the worst where he can’t possibly go on knowing that he caused it he should’ve said something Years ago he should’ve said it and not whatever bullshit came out instead- but he needed to ask him to stay that one final time where that was their Problem right? they needed that one line and it just didn’t mean anything once the empty came to collect

so he gathers himself and tries not to think about the beer on the nightstand or the fact that sam is tiptoeing around the fact that the storage room is covered in broken glass from throwing things at the wall, but the blood from the door was carefully scrubbed. and he looks up jobs- because something has to mean Something in this new shit life and he prints something out that’ll work that might just pause the Ache a little more

and he ignores sam texting eileen and their little calls because he knows that his last call to him was the forever unanswered prayer of stay please i’m yours to an empty room and a sleeping dog but that Hunt that hunt and that pie it’ll drown out the feelings right? and then sam brings it all up again bc why wouldn’t he? he’s worried and dean can tell so he plays it off and jokes and he can’t tell if it’s working or not but it seems to and they work through the case- somehow bringing back dads journal making dean think to before cas and how his life was so simple and different then and he tries to reach something like that again- especially after seeing that girl again from the Before but when It happens.

he pushes back on the monster and tries to breathe but it gets cut short by the pain in his chest and he wonders did i let this happen. i saw it i knew it was there did i Let this happen. but sam can’t know that sam has to be reassured sam has to Live On sam can’t bring him back because he knows it’ll be Wrong anyway and what’s life worth living without him. so he doesn’t let sam call anyone and stalls he drags out that stupid speech until the life drains out and suddenly it’s bright again

bobby mentions him and he can’t Say anything this is supposed to be his heaven but it still feels so Wrong and cas is here but he’s not and what’s real anymore? and that question just reminds him of cas More and he takes a drive far far away from the mess that’s his parents house just a while over and he can’t help but think of the last time he hallucinated cas.. and the Pain from knowing he left him there and now the pain from knowing he caused his death

silent tears rolling down his cheeks as he hears the noise of cas popping in and that hello dean that he has to be Imagining because there’s no way it’s real until he looks in the backseat and maybe. maybe he sobs again and maybe he hears cas tell him to stop the car before they crash but it’s seeing his face again and reaching out to hold it- hold it like he’s been trying to for Years and smiling for the first time in weeks to finally have the chance to Speak and say his piece

#godddd dean u little rat u make me so sad #deancas #destiel #spn #supernatural #this isn’t finale denialist btw i’m so sorry skdjdjdj #i had to write Something

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hellerism · 3 years

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I want an essay on #12)

12. symbolism: tell me about some cool symbolism in spn! your pick

*puts on my english major hat* im about to put more effort into this than anything ive ever written for college. ok top 10 supernatural symbolism...this isnt in any particular order its just whatever i think of first. also it might not be actual top 10 im just remembering random shit. this has gotten out of hand so im putting it under a read more

1. the most obvious one, the impala. many have discussed this before me and im probably just repeating what others have said, but the impala is an extension of deans body/a representation and mirror of both his physical and mental state. obviously the impala gets destroyed in the season 1 finale when dean is dying. and he rebuilds it in season 2, while he is trying to regroup and rebuild from the death of his father. ive seen a post about how dean losing it and smashing the impala is a metaphorical form of self-harm which is :(( also, the impala staying covered and hidden away while dean is living with lisa and ben with this reading is so interesting. i do think dean loved the idea of a normal life with lisa and ben more than the reality (not that i dont think he loved them! any scene with dean and ben makes me soft). but this also makes it that much sadder because supernatural considers dean unable to live a life that doesnt involve hunting; the impala is hidden and dean is a shell of his real self. in season 7, they once again have to hide the impala away and use other cars. the impala is gone and hidden away; something is wrong. dean is hurting. he isnt his full self. why? whats missing during that time? cas. and in season 10, when dean is a demon, he stops caring for the impala. you know, because something is wrong with him. because hes a demon.

2. dean knocking over and breaking the angel statue in the beautiful room. he makes it fall with a single touch, hardly a push. and all it took cas was a single touch for him to fall and break. dean, of course, doesnt mean to shatter cas, though he does mean to make him fall. dean repeatedly argues with cas, acting as the human opposite to cas’ emotionless faith in heaven, pushing him toward the edge, pushing him to rebel, pushing him to choose humanity. and it works; cas learns to love through dean, and through that he rebels against heaven and falls in “every way imaginable.” and when he hits the ground, he breaks, shattering all his faith in god and everything, leading into the godstiel arc as he tries to put his pieces back together.

3. the streetlight as a halo over cas’ head in on the head of a pin. it flickers when anna appears, which is physically meant to show her power. however, it also shows cas’ wavering faith in heaven. interesting how anna, the angel who chose humanity over heaven and decided to fall, is the one making cas’ halo flicker. he is beginning to question things. he is beginning to feel. he is beginning to fall.

4. deans leather jacket in the first few seasons. its not actually dean’s, of course. it belonged to john. dean picks it up and puts it on while he and sam are searching for him, physically shouldering the weight of johns expectations of him. its too big on him. and dean is 26 at that point. hes well past done growing; he’ll never fit perfectly into that jacket. no matter what he does, he’ll never fit perfectly into johns expectations: the perfect son, the perfect soldier. and leather jackets are heavy even if they fit well. there is a physical weight on his shoulders now, a manifestation of the weight of the world and the weight of being a parent for his younger brother and everything john has piled onto dean since he was a child. he eventually stops wearing it (bc some absolute legend stole it irl), and i wish they’d taken that as an opportunity to have dean grow out of the shadow of his father, but supernatural is a bad show so they didnt.

5. mary, who just happens to be named after the mother of jesus. the perfect wife, the loving mother, the tragic figure, the victim, clad in white, the color of innocence. except shes not. she was raised a hunter. shes lived the bloody dark side of the world hidden from most. she loved her children, but she wasnt a perfect wife and mother. she didnt know how to cook. she and john fought, and he even moved out for a few days, and she needed her four-year-old son to comfort her. she is not the virginal mother; shes an imperfect person just trying to do her best. the dabb-era deconstruction of the very concept of mary makes me crazyyyyyyy if you couldnt tell.

6. these shots from 9.14 captives

in the first shot, we have a statue of cupid over cas’ left shoulder and a cross over his right. and in the second shot, there is a bible on the right side of the table, and nothing on the left. and cas turns to the left. he turns away from god, continuously choosing to turn away from stability and what he always knew in favor of love and humanity. there is nothing on the left side of the table precisely because there is nothing certain in cas’ future with humanity, but he chooses them anyway. plus, cas inventing free will by falling in love with dean retroactively makes this shot that much better; there is nothing on the left side of the table precisely because there is nothing written for him. cas falling in love with dean created an empty space in gods story. this show is pure fucking insanity oh my god.

7. serafina the angel (the pantheistic view in that episode makes me crazy but we wont get into that). serafina, whose name is audibly similar to seraph, the class of angel that cas is. coincidentally, the only seraphim we see in the show are cas, who falls in love with dean, and akobel, who married lily sunder. serafina, who fell in love with adam, the literal progenitor of humanity. and who is the character in supernatural that has always stood for humanity as a whole? dean. serafina literally had me convinced that deancas would happen in the finale.

8. the removal of -iel from cas’ name. dear god this one drives me crazy and i doubt it was on purpose. castiel, the shield of god. for eons he existed as a warrior and tool of god. and then along comes dean winchester, who does a very human thing. he gives him a nickname. cas. he removes the “of god” part. he removes god from cas, because dean doesnt value him for being a good soldier or a good son. he values him simply because hes cas. and cas questions everything, his loyalty to heaven, his blind faith that god would one day return. he is no longer a warrior of god. he is simply cas, the shield, and this time he chooses to be a shield for humanity, for the winchesters, for dean. for the michael sword. the shield protects the sword. cas dies shielding dean. this got off topic but its just sooo insane.

9. this shit from 2.13 houses of the holy. i know it was an unplanned coincidence but jesus christ.

10. ...lamp. i know i know but it still boggles my mind. the completely out of place tap dance that they had to spend time and money on to train two actors who had never tap danced before. the lamp being a source of light. divine light. cas. the whole thing being set to the song lets misbehave. WHY LAMP.

#this took me over an hour #are some of these a stretch? maybe. but what is literary analysis other than stretching media way past what the author intended?#ask

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incarnateirony · 1 year

Text

Oh my god it really is only hitting the thick sods trying to hate argue with me that I've literally been using videos to leak the plot for a year in a way their ignorant asses couldn't even start fights about because they lacked the interest to find the context to argue to begin with

oh my god

they still haven't realized the metanarrative WHAT

OH MY GOD

THIS IS JUST GONNA KEEP MOWING THEM DOWN WITH REALIZATIONS ALL SUMMER ISNT IT

NOT EVEN LIKE JUST MY SHIT

LIKE ALL OF TPTB'S SHIT. JUST HOW DEEPLY THEY'RE SOCIALLY AND SYSTEMICALLY FUCKED NOW

LIKE THEY'RE FINDING IT A PIECE AT A TIME LATE

O H M Y G O D

yall i'm not even kidding, your expiration dates are so far past due here that you are literally going to be excavating how embarrassed you should be all year.

Here's a fun one. Where was the beyonce leak from for alien superstar to drop just to take the piss and leak about roxy and adjacent plot

wild shit right

you guys literally do not comprehend everyone has your number AND already blocked it oh my god KJDFKSDJFS?????? YALL GO CHECK MY VIDEOS THE LAST YEAR THEN DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT

NOBODY CARES IF YOU THINK ITS FAIR, NOBODY CARES IF YOU DONT WANT TO BELIEVE IT WHY ARE YOU STILL TRYING TO SPAM MY NOTES WHEN I AM LITERALLY LIKE, I DO NOT WANT TO ARGUE WITH YOU IDIOTS. I LITERALLY DEVISED AN ENTIRE LEAK STRUCTURE TO AVOID YOU CLUELESS **fucking** IDIOTS ARGUING WITH ME WASTING MY TIME

JESUS CHRIST, NOBODY LIKES YOU, STOP WASTING AIR. fucking listen to the words coming out of my keyboard for one time in your fucking life without preloading an argument without reason. You have been outplayed in ways you will be digging out until you're old and gray, if you don't give up in embarrassment and your sunken costs first.

Nobody that matters cares what you think, myself included. Nobody has to prove anything to you. You're still the one angry, confused and lost. I'm the one with 2 years of leaks you were too stupid and argumentative to understand at all, because you were too busy trying to argue it piece by piece to witness the whole thing building out into what it was always foretold to be. Stop. Stop trying to argue with me. I literally do not care if you do not want to believe me. Stop showing up to tell me how much you don't believe the thing I'm not trying to argue with you, because you're mad at the result and don't know where else to direct your anger. And deep down, you know the closest responsible target, but I Do Not Care.

We've got our new gay better supernatural with destiel and hookers, and you're not invited, and you can be as mad as you want. But it isn't changing. Dean will not rest until he finds the peace that he did not have in the original ending, which isn't Sam or anyone else. Act as clueless as you want, lower yourself as low as you are willing to go, but don't pretend you can't see what's happened just because an actor was overbooked, or what they've said the following seasons will be. Guys it's over. Believe however we got here however you want but stop arguing with me. You said Jensen calls the shots. His shot means he needs to face Cas to ever even let himself into heaven to meet Sam, cuz that ain't enough. Good shit, eat my dust and suck on my dick.

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etherealskeletons · 3 years

Text

i hate my uncle i say that often but its something that needs to be said a lot bc hes such a nasty disgusting fat fucking roach. me and dad get into a few [minor] car accident back in july/august and insurance gives us a lil bit of money to fix the cars up and this piece of shit is always up my dads ass asking if he got the money yet because he wants all of it and feels entitled to it [for whatever reason] like bitch what the fuck??? fuck off???

fixing the car was a bitch and cost some moneys i wanna use whatevers left to fix dads fucked up teeth - he needs fuckin.. $2500 worth of work done bc he hasnt gone to the dentist in 20+ years and everyone knows this my dad is very vocal about how he needs work done before he loses anymore teeth and this drug addicted loser is like “SO YOU GOT THAT MONEY YET????” and is open about how he loves to waste tons of fucking money at the casino and my dad is fucking stupid and irritating i love him but jesus christ he makes me wanna throw shit at him for being so fucking stupid

he had his mail for the cars sent to this bitches house so deans tearing open all the mail we get from state farm or the state or just literally any fucking piece of mail that has either of our names on it with hopes that theres gonna be a check inside he can cash in illegally - and what makes me upset is he got away with this before!!!! hed do this with my grandparents all the time and didnt get in trouble, and like a year or so ago he opened my dads mail in the past and found a $60 check from the storage guys and did check fraud and pocked the money for himself im!!! hhf!!! im sitll mad about it bc his excuse was “haha oops sowwry~ i caved~ can i have smore moneyyy~? pweaaaseee uwu??”

nd my dad would fuckin GIVE him money behind my back even after promising me he wouldnt, hed say shit to his piece of shit brother like "haha if she finds out shes gonna be soooo mad~ ill get in sooo much trouble~~ we cant make a habit of thisss~” and would LAUGH when id get so fuckin upset that hed break our promise and send lots of money over to his begging bastard brother bc its funny when im mad and having a meltdown ig!!!! now hes like “idk why u dont trust me like im gonna do it again and again like i did all the time in the past omg i said i wouldnt do it this time and i actually mean it so stop freaking out ://” and he keeps promising that this time is gonna be different but idk i just cant trust it fully,, and that sucks i hate that i cant trust him but hes the one who would do this bullshit behind my back and would laugh when id literally be having a big fuckin meltdown and would be like “omgg i didnt think youd get THIS upset” even though itd happen over,, and over,, nd over,, with the same results every time :^)

its just!!!! ANNOYING,,!!!!!! i hate that everyone ignores the elephant in the room that hes a 60+ year old leech and a drug/gambling/prostitute addict i hate that hes related to me i hate that im close to him that were in the same state that he knows exactly where i live bc he could come and harass me for money like old times i jsut!!!! i fuckignfd!!!!!

i hate everything i hate everyone i hate hate hate im jus!! mean little bastard that doesnt like anything or anyone

#💀.txt #diary

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flower-of-the-desert · 4 years

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Thoughts on Why R U ep10

I am so weak for the boyfrinds laying on each other’s chest trope and SF and Zon hit me up not even a full minute into the episode

they’re so cute cuddling like they’ve got all the time in the world

and Zon telling SF he likes him rubbing his head! precious

on the other end of the country in the Honeymoon Beach Resort(TM) I’m seeing some delicious back muscles which I will never be opposed to so that’s a good start of the day

Tutor, you are one lucky man

this next part is made up of me screaming incoherently and losing my shit over the fact that possessive!Tutor is as canon as it can possibly get and not only that but he went and honest to god bought Fighter an earing with the letter T

me^ @ God after this episode

but then

buT THEN

clearly nobody on ths show gives a damn about my poor heart because THEN Fighter, precious bean that he is, goes and gives Tutor a necklace with his name on it EXCEPT it’s not actually his name but Fighter calling Tutor a fighter because of his strength and unwillingness to give up and always trying his best and can you here me crying

I love this poor boy so much

and he loves Tutor soooooo so much

Fighter already planning their next romantic get-away and Tutor burst his bubble like let’s bring Zon with us too!

do you think Fighter had nightmares after this convo about spending an entire week on some romantic beach resort with the love of his life only to be constantly cockblocked by said love’s tag-along friend?

seriously though, I love that Tutor was thinking about his friend as well and wanted to share his happiness with him as well

“I wont let go of your hand unless you tell me to let you go” hahaha, guess now we know how that break up scene is gonna go haha.... someone hold me

I really really love how Fighter constantly reassures Tutor that they dont have to do anything more than this and now even says that “one night is enough” (assuming the translation is right?)

as in if Tutor doesnt want to have sex ever again, Fighter would be ok with that

like that’s so... amazing to hear from your partner, can you imagine??

Fighter can share the Best Boyfriend Award with Dean

he’s so precious I love him so much

also this coming from the guy who is Constantly Thirsting(TM) after Tutor carries even more meaning

“The island is so big” “My boyfriend is also big” holy- FIGHTER PLS

the background shots of the island and the sea are so beautifully done too

aww, baby!Tutor with his mom that’s so cute

the song lyrics are kiiiiiiiiiling meeeee, love that for me

ok but I need to talk some more about Fighter’s respect of Tutor’s limits like I also think another part of why he keeps saying it’s ok, we dont need to do more than this and why he gets that panicked look on his face and tries to dodge every time Tutor says yes is because he literally has no idea what to do with someone openly showing love and affection and desire for him

because that’s never happened to him before

he’s never had someone who loved and wanted him and showed him that

we already know from his reaction to Tutor giving him his food that he probably grew up extremely starved for the simplest forms of affection and the way he’s reacting now to Tutor’s advances is another example of that

he’s used to pushing and teasing and getting pushed back and rejected

he’s not used to Tutor - or anyone - looking at his flirting and teasing and going yes, I want that, I want you, I love you, let’s do that

or well, I guess it’s more accurate to say he’s not used to getting that from the person he wants to get it from

so whenever Tutor says yes, Fighter goes holy shit, I have no idea what to do with that abort abort ABORT

so maybe I have a lot of feelings about Fighter

just maybe

but let me continue talking some MORE about him

in further support of my statement let me offer you more proof - the look on Fighter’s face while Tutor gently caresses his chest

that’s it, I rest my case

Tutor’s not doing anything more than simply running his hands over his chest and Fighter looks like he’s about to shatter into a million blissed out pieces

that boy needs LOVE, your honor

speaking of, this sex scene is hotter than the last one - literally and metaphhorically

how even

someone on this show sold their soul to Satan

the morning after scene is so amazingly precious, Fighter is the subbies baby to ever sub and he just wants to be good for Tutor

Tutor literally cant get his hands off Fighter and wont let him leave the bed, who can blame him really

Tutor’s taken to buttoning Fighter’s shirt for him since clearly Fighter cant be trusted with it

noooo, dont leave, stay there forever and be happy with each other

listen, if next episode Fighter’s dad or Hwa or whoever the fuck else tries in any way to ruin this relationship and makes Fighter sad I will physically fight a bitch

#bl drama #why r u the series #why r u

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savysavannah · 3 years

Text

Practice Challenge one: Part One

Beginnings:

“Fuck!” I yelled and slammed my hands against the steering wheel. This wasn’t the first time I’d had a total mental breakdown in the dim lighting of the courthouse parking lot, and it sure wasn’t gonna be the last. This case was rigged from the get-go, Mr. Dean esquire was always there against me, swaying the jury with his charismatic personality and his masculine gender. Not to mention it was a jury which he decided to leave fully as white men, his fellow groupies against my defendant, a woman of color who defended herself against her abuser who came at her with a gun.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Opening them I saw Dean sashaying to his car. I considered putting my own in reverse and waiting until he just walked by, then bye bye Dean. Deciding that it wouldn’t be worth the cost of defending myself I waited until after he’d passed to pull out and start to drive to Illean Private University. I was an attorney coach for a Mock Trial team and of course, had to encourage these kiddos that law was the best career and it would really be fulfilling to help people. Driving past the Greek life houses I couldn’t help but smile thinking of happier times. Chugging shitty beer, dressed like a total slut and not giving one single fuck.

After an hour or two of bullshitting some kids and reminding them to object when someone playing a witness says “well I heard the defendant say he was mad at the victim so he must have killed her.” I drove on my way home.

“Incoming call from Uncle Dipshit'' said my car, continuing the never ending day that is my life.

“What?”

“Hey little Savy-Hannah, I’m in a bit of a bind and need some help.”

“What was it? Cocaine? Meth? Or did you finally snap and get caught with heroin.”

“Come on, Savannah, why would you just assume that, can’t I call my one and only niece because I wanna talk to her?”

“At 11pm? Friday night? Bullshit.”

“.......fine Sav-”

“Fuck you, I’m not doing probono work for you anymore. Get your shit together or get the fuck out of our lives.”

Taking a turn away from my apartment I started to head for Lux, my old usual club. I hadn’t gone in awhile but right now I needed to get absolutely shitfaced. 8 shots and 2 waters later I was grinding up against some strangers to Kesha’s “Die Young”, a classic. Suddenly I heard an all too familiar voice, “Savannah!”

My brother. Specifically, my oldest brother, Dan. He danced his way over to me of course being in this scene and grabbed my wrist. “Wha-u wan dan?” I slurred and kept jumping to the song.

“I was worried about you, Ricky called and said you were acting weird.”

“Weird!" I laughed throwing my head back "Because I wouldn’t clean up his shit for once!” I screamed over the music before he pulled me out of the club by the wrist. As soon as the cool air hit my cheeks I leaned my head back and looked up at the sky.

“I wish I was a star." I mumbled seeing the shimmering lights above us before suddenly leaning forward and hurling all over the cement. Probably a usual occurrence for Lux but I still felt bad. Dan rolled down the windows of my car as he drove me home, I stuck my head out of it for the breeze to feel the air in my lungs.

“How’d you find me?” I mumbled, still not fully back to myself.

“We all have eachothers phone locations, remember? You insisted on it like a year ago after you interned on that kidnapping case.” He sighed as we drove up the familiar road home.

“You’re really a mess you know that?” He asked. It's not like he was much better….well, he was but it's not like I'm our brother Danny. At least I made something of myself. Didn't get handed my career and a wife on a silver platter. Or like Daniel who was still so far back into the closet that we really aren't sure if he'll ever come out, even though our family would be more than accepting of him.

I was tempted to defend myself but stopped, “I know, I just need a win."

The next morning Dan was sleeping on my couch and I was on the living room floor. “You couldn’t have carried me to bed?” I mumbled through a yawn.

“You’re the dumbass who got white girl wasted and said you were too tired to walk to your room.”

“What time is it?” I mumbled and went to find my phone despite the world swaying as I crawled to my purse.

He lifted his arm up to look at his watch, “Like 8:00am chill out.” He groaned.

“HOLY FUCK 8?” I flinched at the loudness of my own voice. I was normally up at six, two hours slept in, what’s today it’s a wednesday. ‘What was I supposed to do today? No clients in court today, so that’s good. Okay so I suppose I have to? Paperwork?’

I sighed, “You’re fucking lucky I didn’t have court today.” Stumbling up I ran to my room to change out of yesterday's clothes, splash some water on my face and get on the move.

"Lucky? I'm the one who got your ass home at all!" He yelled back from the living room as I slipped into a different skirt. Shirt could stay the same, just a plain white shell no one would notice. But skirt absolutely not. I grabbed a pair of earrings and a bag of makeup wipes and rushed past Dan.

"Fine sorry love ya. Family dinner on saturday right?" I hurried as I slung a purse over my shoulder.

"You got it." He replied.

"Uh, stay awhile have breakfast if you want. I've got bagels and eggs. Just lock up when you leave." I remembered finally to be polite as he stretched getting up from the sofa.

The office was busy and loud as usual. I tried to smile and act like I wasn't hungover as holy hell while I walked to my desk.

There was someone new taking a desk near me too. Lanky guy probably straight out of law school too. I sized him up for a moment before nearly catching his eye but going back to my work.

It wasn't till lunch that I had to actually deal with another human when I ran into Mr. Asshole-dean.

"Ms. Mars?" He said as he tapped my shoulder in line at the starbucks near the courthouse.

I turned but knew his voice right away, "Mr. Dean?" I replied wondering why he was bothering me. He seemed to catch my cold tone.

"What, rough night? Does suck the night you lose the case but don't worry. You'll get better at losing, can't win em all."

I would like to get an extra extra hot- you know what make it just a cup of fucking lava to poor on this jackass. I smiled, "Thanks! I'm sure it didn't take you long to get used to it." I gave a passive aggressive smile and looked down to my watch.

"Listen, Mars, I know we're opposing counsel but I don't mean any harm by it. I think we could be great friends if you'd give it a shot. I mean I'm sure we both hate our jo-"

"Hi I'd like a venti mocha!" I ordered cutting him off the scurried back to my car.

I had a few hours before I actually had a meeting. It was just to speak with a judge over a custody case between a homophobic mother and two "really good friends" one of who was the father of the child in question. There was a chance it could turn into a serious case, the mom was wealthy and if she got too displeased she could probably turn it into a civil suit on the grounds of the father being gay. But it wasn't likely she'd take the time. She was only really fighting for custody to use their kid as a weapon in the divorce.

I drove home with my coffee deciding I wanted to Pad Thai leftovers I had as comfort/hangover/please-god-dont-make-me-live-another-day food.

Daniel was sitting on my couch when I walked in. "Can you not just walk into my house? Dan may have forgotten to lock it but that's no reason for you to just waltz in here!" I yelled as I dropped my purse and walked up to him.

"Is that my mail?" I huffed and snatched my letters from him. It was just junk mail but he still had no right to be so intrusive.

He looked up at me with a slight glare, "I know what you did and I'm gonna get you back for it." And as quickly as he came he scurried out.

Ringing up Dan I tapped my foot on the ground, "You forgot to lock the door!" I yelled into the phone.

"Oh shit my bad. You okay?" He asked.

"Yes, but Daniel was just here. All pissed over something." I grumbled and walked to the fridge to get out my leftovers.

"Any idea of what?" He asked.

"No clue." I answered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“No, don’t call anyone. Listen, they record everything but our conversations for confidentiality, if you call someone it’s possible that they might somehow be involved and we don’t want prosecution to get that- understand?” I hated explaining the basics to my clients, but those dumbassses would sign their own sentences if they didn’t know any better.

I walked up to the courthouse, in one hand I had my phone, the other a black coffee from the starbucks across the street, my work back slung over my shoulder and threatened to slide lower onto my arm. As I turned the corner I was suddenly burning with hot coffee against my chest and a stranger staring down at me as I had run right into him,

“FUCK!” I yelled as I stepped back. My heel slipped in a crack on the sidewalk, the top of it snapping it too causing me to fall back, my head hitting the hard concrete.

When I opened my eyes again he was standing over me. It was the new guy who sat across from me. "Don't worry I called an ambulance." He assured. I was going to sit up but as I pieced the situation together I realized I was no longer wearing a shirt. Instead I had his blazer placed over my top. I assume because of the burning coffee which would have been sitting on my torso had he not.

He rode in the ambulance to the hospital. We sat in awkward silence as I tried to figure out his angle. Was he afraid I'd sue. I was the one who bumped into him. Did he wanna ask me questions about our workplace. It'd been a month or so since he'd arrived though so that wouldn't make sense.

He sat next to me at the hospital and was still there when the doctor told me it was a light concussion and a small burn. He sighed, finally not seeming like a stiff board for a moment. Maybe he was scared I'd sue. I turned to him in the hospital bed when we had a moment alone.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

He blushed and looked down mumbling a bit as he said "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I wouldn't be able to work anyways till I knew." My eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Why? I'm the one that bumped into you?" I asked.

He was about to respond when the brigade of brothers came in. He seemed startled at all the sudden male energy in the room. "Ah, these are my brothers Dan, Danny, and Daniel. Daniel is a family name." I added the common addition when introducing them to anyone.

He stood up and shook Dan's hand firmly "Nicholas Lamia." He said. I realized then that I also didn't know his name. Danny started to get suspicious as he looked at him with antagonizing eyes.

"How do you know our sister?" He asked. Nicholas flushed again and tried to find words for a moment.

"We work together. He's the one who called the ambulance." Daniel set a balloon down next to me that he'd gotten at the gift shop.

We hadn't really spoken since his home break in. I still don't know what that was about. But he's been suspicious since. Once they released me Nicholas went on his way and the Mars siblings stood on the sidewalk and considered where to go.

"Should we get sushi? It's been a moment since we hung out without mom and dad." Dan suggested leading the conversation.

"Hmm, works for me. Samantha's out of town for work." Danny chimed in.

I sighed thinking about all the work I still had to do. But it had been a minute since we hung out for fun, and cucumber rolls wouldn't be too bad right about now. "Sure I'm in." I replied.

"You?" Danny asked Daniel.

He mumbled for a moment with the same guilty look, "no, I don't th-"

Suddenly Danny got him in a headlock, "come on even Savy agreed and she'd rather eat shit than waste time." He joked. I rolled my eyes and we all piled into Dan's car.

The waitress led us up to a small booth towards the back. At first I was going to sit next to Daniel but the blaring TV would send me down a spiral. There was a government program on and as soon as that shit for an heir came on I'd be fuming about how we're leaving the lives of multiple disadvantaged people to a boy who did body shots off a Delta Nu on a thursday night. I wasn’t exactly sure if that story was true, but it wouldn’t surprise me based off of what I’d seen from more credible sources than Lucy in the room down that hall at the sorority house who was gushing about how she wished it could be her. Prince Eaton went to the University of Labrador with us and she was hopeful that he would do it but sadly, no.

Dan saw my eyes lingering on the TV and switched sides of the booth with me. We were just about finished and considering desert when I began to notice the glances and smirks. I wiped with a napkin thinking maybe I had some rice on my face, but they continued nonetheless. It wasn’t like creepy guys smirking either, it was everyone. The air felt different and Daniel looked like he was going to be sick. “What?” I asked as he opened his mouth.

It looked like he was about to say something but couldn’t find the words. Dan opened to speak too, “Savannah, we didn’t think you’d ge-”

“Oh my gosh congratulations on being selected! Would you like a desert? Everything is on the house of course!” The waitress smiled.

I looked up at her as if she were speaking German. “Congratulations on what?” I asked.

“On being selected! They were just announced, are you so excited? Could I also get a photo by any chance! The next queen of Illea could be sitting at my booth!” She cheered.

The world slowed as my mind raced selected? Like The selection selected? I didn’t apply? I didn’t want to apply? How did I even get entered? What did Daniel want to tell me? Did Daniel do this? Was this his revenge for what?

I snapped out of it as Dan called my name. “I’m sorry. I have to step out for a moment.” I said and grabbed my purse running out of the restaurant, feeling everyone watching me. I walked to the side of the building and pressed my back against the cold brick panting. I crumbled inwards as my brothers ran over to me. I took a deep breath in,

“I don’t”

another breath

“understand.”

Suddenly a man with a long lens camera appeared. How did that happen so fast? How did he know what she looked like? Stupid your Savannah Mars it’s not like you’re a nobody your grandpa runs the largest candy company in the world.

“Can you back off?” I heard Dan ask him.

He kept ignoring Dan entirely, that is till Dan pushed his camera out of focus. “What the fuck man? Chill.” The creep said and went to shove Dan. Level headed Dan of course responded by punching him in the face.

We all piled into his car and drove to my house. I sat in the car ride silent and waited for someone to speak. No one did but Daniel still looked like he was going to throw up. We all sat on the sofa in continued silence. Only Dan spoke to offer everyone water.

No one said yes to it but a cup appeared in front of each of us anyways, always the responsible older brother.

I inhaled then finally said, “I’m not mad. I just want to know why?” and looked at Daniel. It was clear by now that he was the culprit.

He sat there in silence, his lip whimpering like he wanted to cry. Like he wanted to cry? If anyone’s going to cry it should be me. Suddenly I lunged at him to get in a hit. Only Danny’s arm stopped mine from smashing into his face.

“Why?” I yelled.

“I thought you made a gay dating profile for me.” He whimpered.

“What?” I asked, even more confused than before.

Dan spoke up, “Danny made a gay dating profile for him to try and give him a little push. When he got mad he said it was you who did it.”

“I just saw the letter sitting there and it seemed like the perfect way to get back at you for meddling in my love life. I was just gonna taunt you with submitting it, then Dan told me it was Danny but he said you wouldn’t get in and you’d just never know.” Daniel explained.

“Well, statistically speaking you shouldn’t have.” He defended. My anger shifted to the brother holding me back. If Danny had teased Daniel about his sexuality none of this would have happened. But I couldn’t do anything with him still holding my wrist.

I stood from the sofa and the brothers stood as well. “I’m going to go get changed.” The second they relaxed I turned and charged at Danny. “You fucking bitch!” I yelled and started to pull at his hair. He didn’t fight back but Daniel panicked and Dan rushed over. I was yanked off of him before I could make any real damage but he did look hurt enough.

“How could you! Just minding your own fucking business could have avoided this whole thing! And Daniel!” I yelled and turned. “Don’t fucking get vengeance especially not without communicating!”

The phone started to ring. It was probably about the selection. I huffed over ready to say, “Hi, yes this is Savannah Mars. No, I would not like to participate, please pull someone else.” But as I picked up the phone I realized something. Daniel would have had to forge my signature. In order to apply for me he had to sign a contract. If I say I want out I would have to prove I didn’t agree to begin with. That would mean proving the false signature. Which is by the way, illegal.

I sighed, held the phone to my ear. “Yes this is she. I’m so excited to be selected and am more than happy to discuss a time for you to send your people over.”

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